Bamondi 1

Julio Bamondi
English 113B
Professor Ditch
8 May 2015

In Quest For Success

This English 113B, college writing, course has improved my writing abilities and
has assisted me as a writer. Unfortunately in high school, we had lost many of our English
department faculty members early in our fall semester. Fearing to come into college due to
the lack of the logic expected for English. During the fall semester of English 113A, the
professor was one of the worst professors that I have had. She expected us to write
numerous amounts of essays to help us understand what the college expectations are. Not
having almost any of the following knowledge on the simple key concepts of English:
proper punctuation, MLA and sentence fragments. Very relieved knowing that I passed the
class came the spring semester of English 113B. Again without knowing the key concepts
of what is expected for college writing, I came in again with fear and anxiety. With the
help of the class and the lab, my writing abilities have improved; I am shocked that I have
mastered almost most of the abilities in just one semester. In my portfolio there are two
essays that best illustrates my work. The Familys Nonconformist and Sufferings
Conquered.
The Familys Nonconformist defies nonconformity in my familys culture.
Explaining the difficulties of being a radical for not meeting family expectations.

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As I wrote the essay, proper paragraph structure and organization was needed. In my essay
I started talking about nonconformity. Expecting my audience to already know the
meaning of a nonconformist. As I moved into the next paragraph, it was talking about what
a true man was. Already I started confusing my audience because I was talking about how
I am a nonconformist then moving straight into masculinity. In another paragraph, I
explained the meaning of nonconformity. Explaining the difficulties on being a radical.
Moving that paragraph as my second body paragraph so that my audience can follow
along. It gave my essay a proper flow. I intended to use a quote from the class reading but I
did not understand what the quote meant so assuming became the problem. Finding a new
quote that fits my essay was provided and makes the essay stronger because it now
supports my essay. There were many grammatical errors that also where changed through
out the essay. However, as my audience now reads my revised essay, they are able to
follow along and properly follow the flow of the paragraphs. The following essay also
shared the same errors and with proper revision it was better then expected.
Suffering Conquered, an essay that explains the difficulties that the Guernsey
Islanders, from the epistolary novel The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society,
encountered. During World War II, the German Solders occupied the island in which many
items became scarce and people died. The essay argues that World War II causes The
Guernsey islanders to lose there sense of hope, but The Literary and Potato Peel Pie
Society book club members illustrate that helping each other through traumatic situations
can help relieve their suffering while being occupied by the German soldiers. The first
draft of the essay had many grammatical and paragraph organization errors. A problem that

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my intro paragraph had was that I inserted a quote. The intro paragraph is just a brief
description of what the entire essay is going to be about. Inserting as much as I could into
the first intro paragraph made the essay confusing because the thesis was lost; however as I
revised I removed the quote so that the thesis can stand out. Rearranging the paragraphs
because the audience was having difficulties with the flow of the essay. One paragraph
would talk more about the sources while the essay was intended to be about the novel. For
example, in the original essay the first paragraph was a summery of a documentary that we
watched in class then following was the Guernsey novel. Rearranging the paragraphs made
the essay more readable without having the readers lost or confused.
As the semester comes to the end, my writing is still not as great as should be, but
at least knowing proper key functions of writing my papers will improve my grammar,
punctuation, and sentence fragments. The LRC also gave my writing a boost of confidence
improving to my writing in ways that I least expected. The difficulties that I encountered in
high school and my first semester of college have all now changed due to all of the
knowledge that I have gained. The revisions that have been conducted to my essays have
now intrigued my readers and do not have them wondering and questioning the paper. The
flow of the essay is better than ever with proper paragraph transitions. Nevertheless, could
I have asked for a better professor that well educated us. Teaching us the proper ways to
write essays even though most of us had difficulties. This writing course had improved my
writing and will help me as I move on to my Sophomore, Junior and Senior year as I am on
my journey on a quest for success.