Problems at the Dinner Table

A great philosopher, activist and peacekeeper once said, A nation should be

judged on its treatment of animals. Being a vegetarian is something new to me. It has its
own challenges. I have to endure the judgment of others, the guilt of not eating food
people offer. I have to learn how to eat without meat so I have the proper nutrients to
move throughout the day. The motivation to become vegetarian did not come from me
not liking the taste of meat. It came from the guilt I feel from eating meat and one
experience in particular began my spiral into vegetarianism.
Hunting was something Id done since I could remember. I got my first bb-gun at
6, a 22 rifle at 8, a 4-10 shotgun at 10 and so on. I shot anything that moved: songbirds,
rabbits, squirrels, game birds, and by high school I had migrated on to big game like deer
and elk. Ive always challenged myself so I moved on to bow hunting. Having to be
within 50 yards instead of 500 was harder, not only physical but emotionally.
When hunting, animal instincts kick in: heightened senses, hearing, smelling,
seeing, waiting for the slightest change. It is very tense and hunters can get a case of
buck fever, the adrenalin you get right before you kill an animal. This feeling of
adrenalin had become addictive to me. The chills, the shaking, the hair standing up on my
neck: I learned to love the whole feeling.
When hunting with a bow there is a lot of time spent sitting and waiting and one
time while I was sitting alone in a blind waiting for Bambi to walk by my mind had
started to wonder. Was I doing the right thing? Deer are very passive creatures, agile, fast,

and they can form intimate relationships among one another. They mean no harm to
anyone, really. But they had horns and I can eat their meat, plus killing an animal with a
bow was likely to receive admiration from my peers. The buck fever had become extreme
when I saw two white tail deer walk in front of my blind. The tension struck my body, my
heart was racing. We have all seen a lion right before it attacks, still on the outside, crazy
on the inside. The intensity can be compared to a movie where a bomb is about to go off
and they must choose between the red or green wire.
My logic was conflicting with my morals. It was like Tom and Jerry where the
devil is on one shoulder and the angel on the other. And whom does Tom listen to? The
devil of course, so I pulled back my bow, picked my target, judged my distance and let
the arrow fly.
The next day I reenacted the story of how I shot the monster buck to my friends. I
wasnt really excited about what I did personally, actually I felt bad. I fed off the
excitement of the people listening to my story. I left out the details that might show I had
remorse for what I did. To feel remorse made me un-macho and no teenage boy in my
hometown wants to feel un-macho.
The fact is that after the adrenaline had worn off from shooting an arrow through
another creatures beating heart I felt terrible. Within 30 seconds of letting the arrow go I
wanted to go back in time and take it back. I intentionally had inflicted pain and fear on
an animal for no reason that I could find appropriate. I tried to rationalize it to myself:
other people do it, I need protein, if you didnt people wouldnt respect you.
After shooting the deer I did what I had been taught. I waited. Animals generally
lay down after being shot, so I waited 20-30 minutes before I started to track the animal,

all the time hoping it would be dead when I arrived so I didnt have to bear any more
guilt from watching it suffer. When the blood trail had reached an end I found two deer
lying down side by side. Had I hit both of them? Why wasnt the non-injured buck
running? Looking at their eyes I saw the fear, the confusion, the pain. I hadnt hit them
both; one was lying next to his dying friend un-willing to leave even after seeing me.
At this point I had the realization that they can feel love, hurt, experience joy,
happiness and all the same emotions that we have and I had no reason to cause the
negative ones. I forced myself to do the honorable thing by taking my knife and cutting
the throat of the wounded animal. While I was doing this, the other deer was no more
than 20 yards away watching me cut out the windpipe of his friend. I started to gut the
animal and still his friend watched over my shoulder in horror. This was barbaric, not
necessary. Was the 2-minute high worth all this pain and guilt? It was time for change.
I didnt go cold turkey and start eating vegetarian but I did start down that path. I
began forcing myself to eat vegetables. I ate more white meat instead of red meat. I
forced myself to eat my first salad my freshmen year of college, only getting a few
vegetables that I could stand and smothering them in ranch. College gave me a fresh start;
my mom was no longer making me food and not every friend of mine was a hunter. I was
still addicted to meat though, and it would be a moral dilemma I would fight within
myself and with others for years to come.
During my second year I would advocate for vegetarianism while not even being
one myself. I had stretches of vegetarianism, a day here and there, maybe 3, always
giving in to my cravings I had acquired, always reasoning with myself that it was okay to
eat meat. I felt alone not knowing any other vegetarians. I often argued with my

roommate about the subject. He always had the argument that humans have always eaten
meat and that because we have canine teeth we are intended to eat meat.
Fortunately there is a long history of vegetarianism. So I began to look to history
for rational reasons for not eating meat. But history is controversial. We tend to think of
classic hunting and gathering. We know that many of historical nomads ate meat because
of the pictographs they left behind. Many cultures were primarily vegetarian too, such as
ancient Rome and Egypt. Maybe they didnt eat meat because of principal or maybe it
was simply unavailable at the time. Progressive thinkers such as Aristotle and Plato were
vegetarians because of principal. Even The Great Thomas Jefferson was a vegetarian. It
turns out history did not give me many answers on whether or not to eat meat. Whether
people were meat eaters seems unique to each situation throughout time, based on
culture, personal morals, and availability at the time. It also seems irrelevant to use
history as an indicator of whether or not to eat meat now.
It turns out that culture has an enormous influence on people eating meat and the
amount we eat. Corporations saw a chance to make a lot of money when refrigerators
became available in the mid 1900s. Advocacy for more protein consumption was huge.
They drilled it into our heads that meat was necessary for health. I can remember in
elementary school learning the food pyramid over and over again. Meat and milk became
a part of every school meal. As a child I was told to eat more meat, you need the protein
to become big and strong; drink more milk, it builds strong bones. I broke 8 bones
between the ages of 12 and 18. I was found I was allergic to lactose or lactose intolerant.
In my second year of college I decided to pay the doctor a visit and confirm my selfdiagnosis. For 19 or so years I had ignored the stomach pains and drowsiness that milk

caused. It also turns out drinking milk could have been weakening my bones because of
my lactose intolerance. Got milk? 40% of people dont retain the enzyme to even digest
milk properly past the age of 2!
During this year I started to come to the realization that the meat industry were no
different than tobacco companies, making people addicted at a young age and producing
fake information about the amount necessary to be healthy. I had become an addict and
even after everything I knew I still couldnt break my addiction.
I can remember the last time I ate meat. I was studying abroad in Costa Rica
eating only chicken and fish when it was served to me. On a group trip I was served
steak, potatoes, and corn. I didnt know what to do. If I didnt eat the meat I was wasting
it and that hurt just as bad as eating it so I took a bite and slowly chewed. I hated it. I
liked the taste but the pain was a lot stronger. I knew right then and there I was done! I
gave it to my friend sitting next to me and have not eaten a bite of meat since.
Like everyone else in the vegetarian world, I have my reasons for converting to
the dark side. In the United States only 1 in 20 people are vegetarian or a variation of it.
As I have come to find out, most vegetarians are not vegetarian simply because they
dont like the taste of meat. Me, well, I LOVE THE TASTE OF MEAT. The motivation
seems to be deeper for most people. The answer most people give is for better animal
rights and a healthier environment. My reasons for not eating were a combination of three
things: morals, health, and the damage that eating meat does to the environment.
Personal health seems to be a big driver for some peoples vegetarianism. Many
scientific papers have proven that vegetarians live an average of 6-12 years longer than
non-vegetarians. But this argument can easily be thrown out when you look at the things

vegetarians are likely to not do as much as non-vegetarians; drink, smoke, eat fast food,
be a couch potato. Vegetarians on average just live a healthier life style.
My first couple months of not eating meat were hard. I was an addict. I would
smell it and my mind would go crazy craving it. I knew that it was a trick my mind
played; it is comparable to someone trying to quit smoking. Giving in to cravings gives a
short, quick release but as all addicts know, it is followed by the long-term guilt of being
weak and doing what I know is wrong. I had to find new things to eat to spice up life. I
tried things like quinoa, curry, ate all different types of vegetables I never had before.
And slowly the cravings went away. I soon learned that quitting something youre
addicted to is not about quitting once but hundreds of times until the edge isnt there
anymore.
On the flip side why do people eat meat? Protein is the reason I hear the
most. But the truth is, it is simple to get the protein needed for extreme physical activity
without meat. There are UFC fighters, Ultra marathons runners, football players, and
Olympians who are vegetarian or even vegan. It took a little adjustment period but I soon
found the right balance of food. I found out when I told someone I am vegetarian walls
go up and they put up defenses. Im not trying to make it a competition. From personal
experience people eat meat because they like the taste. They dont like to admit its the
reason but it is. I mean, who doesnt like bacon? I have heard every excuse there is;
theyre stupid animals, God put them here for us, its my right, and my personal favorite,
we are carnivores with canine teeth. I can see the same guilt in peoples eyes that I once
had. I tried to rationalize it the same way. If you eat meat just say you like the taste, Ill
understand.

Upon coming home from Costa Rica the social pressure to eat meat came back.
Idaho is not a common place for vegetarians and people in my little town often looked at
me like I was an alien. I became ashamed that I didnt eat meat, only telling people when
it was necessary that I am vegetarian. My boss, a rancher, loved to poke fun at me for it.
But I held my ground and soon it didnt sting anymore and I become used to it. My skin
became thick. I researched vegetarianism and the meat industry from every angle so
when someone had an irrational objection for why I was a vegetarian I had 5
counterarguments.
I hate how its me versus you. I dont want people to get defensive when I dont
eat meat, its just a choice. I know how hard it is to stop eating something that you have
been brought up on and convinced around every corner that your life is in jeopardy if you
dont consume it. I still disappoint myself every now and again and eat an egg or piece of
pizza that someone offers me. Im not perfect and there are other things I am addicted to
that I am trying to give up. Its about acknowledging the things that weigh us down and
having the perseverance to stand up to them. Gandhi was the philosopher that said a
nation should be judged on how they treat their animals. He is someone I can look up to!