Eric in Columbine Transcript: Translation credit: sororityalpha

00:04 Mike: Yes.

00:06 Eric: Yes!
Mike: So did everybody
(unintelligible)no, because
(unintelligible)
Eric: Well yeah, a little bit. But still.
*jocks approaching them*
00:22 Camera man: Aahhh!
00:25 Mike: You guys need to be doing some, uh, video production
stuff!
01:03 Mike: put (unintelligible) in a head-lock, dude, like that
01:15 Eric: What the hell?
Blonde Girl: I need Bruce Willis in there though.

01:29 Blonde Girl: Hes so cute!

Eric: Who?
Blonde Girl: Ben Affleck!
Eric: He is?
Blonde Girl: Yeah...
Eric: Umalright.

01:45 Eric: Were going downstairs. Come downstairs.

Blonde Girl: No, go along.
Eric: Alright.

Now they are going down to the cafeteria. It is very loud in the cafeteria and there is a lot of background
noise so it is hard to hear what they are saying sometimes.
02:50 Mike: Hey, Erics girl is coming down.
(Unknown Voice): Ah yeah.
Other Boy: The new girl?
Mike: You know you wanna tap that, you know you wanna.
(Unknown Voice): Well of course. Who wouldnt? Most people would.
Mike: I would.

At 03:08 the camera goes to Eric looking at the cell phone.

03:16 Camera man: Um, Eric. Eric.
Eric: Yeah?
Camera man: I think Im going to sitright about there.
(unintelligible).

The boy behind the camera then moves to the other side of the table and focuses on Eric spinning the
cell phone. The other boys are having a conversation about their cars. Eric is not even paying attention.

03:34 Camera man: Your car is not fixed yet? (unintelligible) Try a chain. It is a chain.
Mike: Its a chain?
Camera man: Yes.
Mike: Okay. It broke.
Camera man: Okay.
Mike: Because it was tied to too much
03:46 Eric: Wheee!
Mike: (unintelligible) gear. It tore up the gear. You know the
gear it runs on?

Camera man: Right.

Mike: So it tore all that up, and it might have jacked up the
engine valves.
03:57 Camera man: Which means that you have to rebuild the engine.
Mike: Hell do it for me for about a thousand dollarseight
hundred to a thousand dollars.
Camera man: Well, thats the normal price for a Ford.
Mike: Its a Mazda.
(Laughter)
Camera man: What the (beep) is a Mazda engine doing in a Ford?
Mike: I dunno
Camera man: Is it all written in Japanese and stuff?
Mike: What?
Camera man: Is it all written in Japanese ands stuff?
04:24 Eric: (Beep) (unintelligible. You? Luke?)

(unintelligible conversation)

04:32 Mike: I really hate that guy there, too.

Camera man: God, I know.
04:38 Eric: I hate most people.

The sound on the camera turns off because they mention somebodys name.

04:41 Eric: Ah, yes. I want to rip his skull out and eat it (?).

Mike: I do too. Remember at lunch with me, when we were

cutting in line, and they were like youre supposed
to be at the end of the line? Dont you remember that?
Camera man: When was this?
(unintelligible)
Other Kid: Well he had a right too, see, you were only a sophomore.
Mike: He was only a freshman!
Other Kid: Oh, then Id kick his ass then.
(Laughter)
05:00 Eric: Oooh, never mind.

At 05:11 Eric flips off Mike when he puts up his middle finger. I am not sure if this means the same
thing in France as it does in America, but here it is a gesture that means Fuck you. Eric was just joking
though.

05:16 Eric: This sucks.

05:23 Eric: When my alarms going off, I cant turn it off

At 05:28 Eric notices the girl in the orange shirt coming over to his table. This is believed to be Tiffany
Typher the girl Eric took to the Homecoming dance in his freshman year at Columbine.

05:28
Mike: Oh god.
Camera man: Wow.
Tiffany: What are you doing?
Camera man: Were filming.
Mike: Will you smile and wave for the camera?

Tiffany: No, why?

Mike: Please.
Camera man: Oh, come on.
Tiffany: Yeah with my teeth all blue? Ill be like hey guys.
Camera man: Yeah that works.
Mike: See, we are filming the rejects of the school.
Other guy: Come on!
Tiffany: Will it be on TV?
Camera man: Probably, yeah.
Mike: It will be on a TV, but probably not the morning news.
Tiffany: Okay well, thats fine.
Camera man: Okay, ready?
Tiffany: No!
Camera man: Oh my god.
Mike: Just start recording right now. Just record it anyway.
Tiffany: Just record me eating?
Camera man: Yep.
Mike: Right now youre sucking on a blue sucker.
Camera man: You suck.

Mike: Is that good?

Camera man: Show us how to use it.
(Laughter.)
Tiffany: Oh my god.

At 06:02 Tiffany turns around and walks away.

06:04 Camera man: She brings it on herself, I swear.

Mike: Bye Tiffany! I love you! Just kidding.
Camera man: Ill see you in German.

06:35 Camera man: I still havent let that go yet.

(Laughter.)
Mike: Okay that wasnt funny. Pregnant women should not be
teased, especially if they are single parents.
Other Kid: And in high school.
Mike: And in high school!

At 06:50 Eric says something that I do not understand. Then it sounds like he says Fuck but I am not
sure.

06:55 Mike: Because she doesnt know how to keep it in her pants.
(Laughter).

For the rest of this conversation, they speak so softly I cannot understand what they are saying. But they
continue to talk about Tiffany.

07:12 Other Kid: Okay, Im already tired of seeing this (silent here they
he mentions somebodys name) thing going on. I say we
just turn that thing off. Who cares about him? Whats his
name? George, Richard (silent again as they say his

surname). Who cares? That was like, last week.

Eric: Two years ago.
Mike: Last year.

Again, I cannot understand exactly what they say for the rest of the conversation. They continue to talk
about Richard and some other things that I do not follow. I do not think Eric says anything during this
as you can see, it is mostly Mike, the boy behind the camera, and the other kid in the black shirt who are
talking. At 08:02 Eric makes a weird face and sound when he looks at the camera. I do not know what he
means by this. Maybe he was just acting goofy.

08:03 Other kid: I am surprised that thing still doesnt say Welcome Back
Mike: Welcome back to school. Do have a nice time.
Other kid: Class of 98! Woo!
08:14 Mike: I gotcheck this out. I got a job offer!
Other kid: Where?
Camera man: McDonalds doesnt count.
Mike: No I am serious. My dad was talking to somebody that
needs an air conditioning and a new furnace installed in
their house. Alright? He offers me a job when I graduate. The starting rate is sixteen dollars an hour. And
he goes and there is plenty of room for advancement. And I go what otheris there
08:45 Mike: Theres uhtheres uh
Other kid: Whats her name?
(Somebody whistles I think Eric. They are looking and pointing at the blonde girl.)
Other kid: Go get her over here. Just go, Eric. Go get her.
Eric: Aw yeah, she looks this way and casually doesnt see us.
Other kid: Oh yeah, is she the one who was knocking on that door
Friday in German class?

Mike: Yeah, was that her?

Eric: No.

09:12 Mike: Anyway, and he goes and Ill give you your own company
truck. And I go damn straight! (Laughter.) And I go
My own company truck? and he goes Yeah, your own
company truck. Ill give you the address and you go there,
do the job. Sometimes it gets pretty busy, but there will be
a few days when you will have nothing to do. And I go,
what will I do then? and he goes you take the truck,
drive around, do whatever the hell you want. And I was
like Fuck yeah.
Other kid: Sweet.
Camera man: I want my own truck. Do I get my own cards too?
Mike: And then he goes if you get your own truck, dude, you get
your own company cell phone too. And its one of those
cool ones with the little walkie-talkie button. Thats the
shit Im talking about.
Camera man: A two-way radio.
Mike: Yeah, your new company cell phoneits just a CB.
Eric: Why does it have no numbers on it?
Mike: I need to make a phone call, but it only has one button on it.
Camera man: Ah yes.
Other Kid: Breaker-Breaker 1-9
Mike: Breaker-Breaker 1-9. We got a call.

(Laughter).

10:12 Other Kid: Ive done that. I like that.

Mike: The truckers and stuff? Yeah.
Eric: I want to get a CB radio, just to (unintelligible).
Mike: There was this guy and this trucker chick talking about sex
on the airwaves. I was like, channel channelwoah! I was
like, dude, do I get to do that?
Other Kid: Breaker-Breaker 1-9, do you have your ears on, over?
Eric: Breaker-Breaker 1-9, will you (Screw me? Shoot me?)
(Laughter.)
Camera man: You better not be kidding me, right?

10:54 Mike: Okay, there she goes Eric! Do you want me to go get her
for you?
Eric: No.
(They are talking about the blonde girl again).
Mike: Just yell. Just go like Hey (silent he says her name)
Other Kid: Oh! Erics getting jacked!
Mike: Eric just got jackedup the ass! You like that.
Eric: I dont know about that, dude.
Other Kid: Ill stay away from that, thanks. Id appreciate it.
Eric: Me too.
Other Kid: Yeah.
Mike: You still got jacked.

Eric: You stink.

Camera man: Youre the Special T
Mike: Special T! (unintelligible).

At 11:40 Eric begins making a strange, angry face at the camera. I wonder what this is about?

11:48 Mike: Okay, lets just turn off that little light, you little jack-off.
(Laughter.)
Other Kid: Jack-off.
Eric: Jack-off.
Other Kid: Ah, my eyes!
Camera man: Well now its stuck. Now you broke it. [the camera light]
Eric: Jesus Christ, its never going off now!
Other Kid: Conspiracy! Dun dun dun dun

12:11 Other Kid: I hate this school.

12:17 Mike: Thats the suckiest school in the world.
Mike: Film. [when he sees the girl in the skirt standing up.]
12:26 Other Kid: Are you filming?
Camera man: Yeah.
Other Kid: Ah, youre the man.
Mike: Youre the man, baby! Oh yeah!
Camera man: Heads up, heads up!

At 12:33 somebody comes up from behind Mike and pretends to choke him.

Mike: Ah, rape!

(Laughter)
Camera man: That is going on the announcements.
Mike: That was mature.
Camera man: I got it on tape.

At around 12:50 I guess they notice it is time to leave the cafeteria.

12:53 Mike: Ill miss you guys.

Other Kid: Yeah right, dont even.
Eric: [Looks at his watch.] Lets go over there.
Mike: You just want to go over there because that one chicks
over there [the blonde girl].
Eric: Well its 8:16 for starters.

They get up and walk over to the other side of the cafeteria. Eric goes and sits with the blonde girl. Mike
sits down with Tiffany at 13:41.

13:51 Mike: Are you enjoying this little film time youve got going
over here?
Camera man: Ah, theres nothing else we got.

At 14:04 it cuts to Eric sitting down at the table with the blonde girl. It seems like he is trying to talk to
her but she is trying not to look at him. She notices the boy Jeremy walk past her and reaches out to
him. Eric gets upset, stands up and walks away.

14:18 Eric: Bye. Ill see you tomorrow.

The blonde girl continues to talk to Jeremy and does not say goodbye to Eric. Eric walks to the stairs and
meets back up with Mike.

14:47 Mike: Come on, Eric. I like Eric.

15:01 Mike: You wanna quit filming me? Bitch!

15:09 Mike: Whats up guys?

15:09 Eric: Whee!

Starting at 16:14 in the Eric In Columbine video (I'm going to assume the girl is indeed, Brandi, I guess):

Brandi: "Never be like hey what's up, be like... (laughing) Why are you recording this!?"

Eric H: (big laugh; looks at Eric V)

Mike: (???)

Brandi: (sarcastically, as the girls are waving) "How cute."

Brandi: "Seven layer burrito, shut up! She had a seven layer burrito (Mike: "Uh huh."), and then she fell
asleep on her break and she had this seven layer burrito right before her break. She woke up 'cause her
mouth was bleeding like right here, like inside you know? And she went to the doctor and the doctor
said 'well you can't eat for like a few days because there's roach eggs hatching in your mouth."

Mike: "Are you... awww that's gross."

Brandi: "Yeah, I know."

Mike: "No way (???)"

Brandi: "Sure I even saw her when it was like, happening. Her mouth was bleeding and she was like 'oh
my god, do I go to a dentist or a doctor?' and I was like ummm I would just go to one of them, it doesn't
matter. So she went to the doctor."

Eric H: (sarcastically/bored) "That's great."

Brandi: "Yup, that's pretty good."

Eric H: "Aweeesome."

Mike: "Did you tape that whole story?"

Eric V: "Yeah."

Mike: (???) (Eric H grins).

Brandi: "I know, because I'm so cool."

Mike: (???)

Brandi: "I am. Guys, I don't wanna go to math or English or... wait, or ceramics."

Mike: "I'll just go as you, then."

(Talking about "cupees"?)

Brandi: "Oh okay, good. You'll have to grow some boobs and some more hair and then hey!"

Mike and Brandi: ("cupee" thing again).

Mike: "There ya go. Eric's all 'yeah, I didn't wanna hear that'. You just call me saying I got cupee (???)"

(all laughing)

Brandi: "That's great. ... Huh? What? Yeah reveal the truth to us."

(all laughing some more)

Brandi: "That's okay, my best friend was gay (I guess Mike said something about being gay? Help me out
here, guys.) like he went to California; I miss him. His name was Chris too, isn't that funny? Yeah."

Mike: "Why is that funny?"

Brandi: "Because a girl could be Chris!"

Mike: "So what does that have to do with anything?"

Brandi: "'Cause he's gay!"

Mike: "My brother's name is Chris (???) So all Chris' are gay. What do you think of Mike? Or what about
Eric, huh? What kind of stereotypes do you have for them?"

Brandi: "Eric's are cool. ...Oh are you an Eric? I notice like a lot of Erics."

Mike: "Our cameraman here; and Mikes are awesome."

Brandi: "No I do, one of my really good friends is Mike. He gets high all the time but he's still really
funny."

Eric H: "I bet so."

Brandi: "I love Mike."

someone: "Yeah, I'll help you out."

Brandi: "Ugh I have this big (???) in my backpack, anyways. I have to walk across the street from (???
Southwest plaza?) on the other side of Kohl's."

Brandi: "Yeah I have a membership at Bally's."

(???)

Eric V: "Hey, I got that address on tape now."

Brandi: "I go there, I think I'm looking good. But anyways."

Mike: "Wow, you're fat."

Brandi: "And you're blind. ... I was eating that (the yogurt cup Eric H has been spinning). Just joking. Does
anyone have a brush oh god I need one."

Mike: "Yeah hold on, I carry one all the time!"

Brandi: "I swear to god I knew this guy who carried hairspray, gel, a brush."

Eric H: "Was his name Chris?"

Brandi: "No, his name was Andrew, actually. Are you an Andrew?"

Eric H: (sacastically) "An Eric and an Andrew."

Brandi: "Wait, I thought he was Eric? And you're a Mike."

Mike: "What else do you want? So to recap..."

Brandi: "What's your last name?"

Brandi: "You might know me... no, you might not. Did any of you go to (edited out)."

Eric V: "'Sup."

Brandi: "You did?"

Eric V: "Mmm hmm."

Brandi: "Do you know (edited out)?"

Eric V: "Yep."

Brandi: "That's my mom."

Eric V: "That's your mom? Oh my god."

Mike: "What's your first name?"

(I think they might be making fun of her last name "Tinklenberg"?)

Brandi: "Don't make fun of me!"

Eric H: "Mike, it's easy to take your (???)"

Mike: "Oh I got Mr. (???)"

Brandi: "You do?"

Mike: "I get to use (???)."

Brandi: "You're gonna what?"

Eric H: "And the show (???)."

Brandi: "Oh I'll show you!"

Mike: "Well you gotta give me something with (???)."

Brandi: "Well I don't know where she is though. I know where her locker is; it's right next to mine."

Mike: "You're (???) having fun."

Brandi: "Shut up Mike."

Mike: "What's her locker number?"

Brandi: "What?"

Mike: "Hers!"

Brandi: "Oh her... Lauren something."

Eric V (??? mocking Brandi?): "You're not talking about ME!?"

Brandi: "She had my mom for sixth grade."

Mike: "You don't know."

Brandi: "No, we're not like best friends. We're good friends..."

Eric H: "We gotta go Mike."

Brandi: "We gotta go Mike."

Eric V: "We gotta go Mike."

Brandi: "She's a sophmore she has like a big forehead she wears like major eyeliner she's a
cheerleader... don't record this oh my god bad!"

Mike: "Don't record it."