WRITER (AUTHOR): Isaiah Swann

TITLE OF PIECE: Response

EDITORS NAME: Ammu Kumar

PAPER DESCRIPTION: IJWBA Response

WRITING GENRE (circle one): Narrative or Explanatory or Descriptive or Persuasive

WRITING STAGE (circle one): DRAFT # 1 or DRAFT #2 or FINAL COPY (publish-ready)

Questions About Titles

N
o

Does title fit what the piece is about?

Is title a grabber? Does it make a reader want to read the piece?

Questions About Leads

Somewhat

Questions About
Information

Comments/
Suggestions

Yes

Comments/
Suggestions

X
X

N
o

Somewhat

Does the lead bring the reader right into the piece, into the main ideas or action?

Can the first paragraph be cut? The second par.? The first page?

Yes

X
X

N
o

Somewhat

Yes

Comments/
Suggestions

X
Is enough information included?
Does the piece show, not tell, by using examples?

Are thoughts and feelings told at the points where readers will wonder?

N/A

Is it clear where, when, and with whom this is happening?

N/A

Is there enough detail and description of the setting and people so that readers can
see it happening?

N/A

Are there any parts that confuse the reader? Has the writer explained each part well
enough?

Does this piece need conversation? Did people talk? Has the writer directly quoted
the words they said?

Is there too much info. in the piece? What parts arent needed- dont add to the point
or story? Can they be deleted?

Is there more than one story in this piece? Is the writer having difficulty focusing on
one story?

Is there too much conversation? Too many fussy details? Is too much explained?

Questions About Style

N
o

Has the writer cluttered the piece with unnecessary adjectives and adverbs?

said something more than once which detracts from the piece?

broken the flow of the piece by paragraphing too often?

Comments/
Suggestions

X
X
X

Has the writer paragraphed often enough to give the readers eyes some breaks?

Yes

Is there a word that is repeated too often?

Are any sentences too long and tangled? Too brief and choppy?

Somewhat

X
X

Is the information in order? Is the sequence in which things happened?

N/A

Has the writer grouped together ideas related to each other?

Does the verb tense stay the same- present (its happening now) or past (it happened
before)?

Does the voice stay the same-first person participant (I did it) or third person
observer (he or she did it)?

Questions About Conclusions

N
o

Does the concl. drop off and leave the reader wondering?

Does the concl. go on and on?

Does the reader know something at the end of the piece? Does this conclusion do it?

Does the reader feel something at the end of the piece? Does this concl. do it?

Somewhat

Yes

Comments/
Suggestions

X
X
X
N/A

WRITER (AUTHOR): Isaiah Swann

TITLE OF PIECE: Response

EDITORS NAME: Karan Achtani

PAPER DESCRIPTION: IJWBA

WRITING GENRE (circle one): Narrative or Explanatory or Descriptive or Persuasive

WRITING STAGE (circle one): DRAFT # 1 or DRAFT #2 or FINAL COPY (publish-ready)

Questions About Titles

No

Somewhat

Does title fit what the piece is about?

Is title a grabber? Does it make a reader want to read the piece?

Questions About Leads

Questions About
Information

Comments/
Suggestions

Needs a better
title

No

Somewhat

Does the lead bring the reader right into the piece, into the main ideas or
action?
Can the first paragraph be cut? The second par.? The first page?

Yes

Yes

Comments/
Suggestions

X
X

No

Somewhat

Yes

Comments/
Suggestions

X
Is enough information included?
Does the piece show, not tell, by using examples?

Are thoughts and feelings told at the points where readers will wonder?

N/A

Is it clear where, when, and with whom this is happening?

N/A

Is there enough detail and description of the setting and people so that
readers can see it happening?

N/A

Are there any parts that confuse the reader? Has the writer explained each
part well enough?

Does this piece need conversation? Did people talk? Has the writer directly
quoted the words they said?
Is there too much info. in the piece? What parts arent needed- dont add to
the point or story? Can they be deleted?

N/A
X

Is there more than one story in this piece? Is the writer having difficulty
focusing on one story?

N/A

Is there too much conversation? Too many fussy details? Is too much
explained?

Questions About Style

No

Has the writer cluttered the piece with unnecessary adjectives and adverbs?

said something more than once which detracts from the piece?

Is there a word that is repeated too often?

X
X
X
X

Is the information in order? Is the sequence in which things happened?

Has the writer grouped together ideas related to each other?

Does the verb tense stay the same- present (its happening now) or past (it
happened before)?

Comments/
Suggestions

Has the writer paragraphed often enough to give the readers eyes some
breaks?
broken the flow of the piece by paragraphing too often?

Yes

Are any sentences too long and tangled? Too brief and choppy?

Somewhat

N/A
X
X

Does the voice stay the same-first person participant (I did it) or third person
observer (he or she did it)?

Questions About Conclusions

No

Does the concl. drop off and leave the reader wondering?

Does the concl. go on and on?

Does the reader know something at the end of the piece? Does this
conclusion do it?
Does the reader feel something at the end of the piece? Does this concl. do
it?

Somewhat

Yes

Comments/
Suggestions

X
X
N/A
N/A