Zhien Chen

Final draft of research paper

English 110
5/17/15
Chinese Parenting Styles
Parenting style refers to the degree in which the parent is responsive and supportive of the
child's needs and demands. With a set of standard rules, parents attempt to shape, control and
evaluate the behaviors and attitudes of their child. In this way, children can develop prosocial behavior in which helping, sharing and caring people around them. Different
approaches to discipline can have different impacts on the type of relationships between
parents and children. It also influences childrens temperament and mood when they are
getting older. Parenting styles divide into four classic categories: authoritarian, permissive
authoritative and uninvolved. Most Chinese-Americans and immigrant Chinese parents tend
to prefer the authoritarian parenting style due to the culturally-base belief on parental ruling,
cultural values, academic adjustment and social ruling.
Confucianism has been a huge influence on shaping the education level and social class,
family hierarchy and ethical aspect of Chinese cultures. Confucius doctrine distinctly stated
the order: Let the prince be a prince, the minister a minister, the father a father, and the son a
son. Each individuals role and responsibilities are clearly defined. Confucianism mainly
focused on a social hierarchy that teaches people The Five Basic Relationships: father-son,
emperor-subject, husband-wife, elder-younger, friend-friend. To reach harmony within the
context of family, it often relies on considering parents authority, conformity, and role and
responsibilities of each individual. Chinese parents teach their children to obey and respect
authorities. Children are taught to being self-sufficient and fulfilling one's obligations,
respecting elders, and caring for others rather than simply looking out for oneself. In other to
maintain harmony, Chinese parents teach their children by avoiding conflicts with other
people. The values of harmony can protect peoples integrity and maintain a good
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interpersonal relationship. The reason why most Chinese parents prefer in authoritarian
parenting style is because Confucianism has been influenced by old generations; they felt it is
essential to pass and teach the philosophies and principles to the new generations. Based on
Confucianism, leaders needed to be intelligent, have high standards of ethics, and learn
scholarly work. Therefore scholarship was associated with high social class, leadership, and
high moral character. Huang explains the reason why Chinese parents prefer using in
authoritarian parenting style because there was a close relationship between education level
and social class. Back then, people needed to attend and pass a centralized national
examination to become successful in education and reach a high social status. As one passed
the exam, he would be awarded a special scholarly hat and received an official position.
The score of centralized national examination clearly defined ones test performance, a
school entered, and degree received. It is believed that earning higher grades, attending
higher ranking schools, and receiving higher degrees are undeniable routes to success in the
society; in other words, ones needed to obtain education in other to have higher social status.
Chinese parents believed that educational success leads to a better life, including a higher
social status, getting a good pay job or having devotion from others. (Huang, Gove)
Chinese parents prefer an authoritarian parenting style because they believe they eaten
salt more than the child eaten rice. Both Chinese immigrant and Chinese-American parents
expect their child to obey a set of standard and strict rules they established without exception,
because Chinese parents believe they have a lot more experience relative to their child. They
feel their rules served a protective function toward their children. Authoritarian parents
establish rules and expect their child will follow all the rules. They have absolute control on
their childs decision-making and belief-thinking. Under the supervisory controlling, most
Chinese children dont have the guts to oppress their parents firmness. If the child does not
meet the criteria, such as couldnt memorize the multiplication table or having a fight with
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others, they might get punished. Some common punishment weapons include beating with a
broomstick, clothes hanger and feather duster etc.
According to a Chinese-American parent, Amy Chua, she established ten unreasonable
disciplines for her two daughters, Lulu and Sophia, as many scholars criticized on her
parenting style. The ten harsh rules are never allow breaking, includes attending a sleepover;
having a play date; being in a school play; complaining about not being in a school play;
watching TV or play computer games; choosing their own extracurricular activities; getting
any grade less than an A; not being the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama;
playing any instrument other than the piano or violin; and not playing piano or violin. We
worked right through dinner into the night, and I wouldn't let Lulu get up, not for water, not
even to go to the bathroom. The house became a war zone, and I lost my voice yelling
(Chua). In Amy Chuas case, her daughter Lulu announced in exasperation that she was
giving up and stomped playing piano off. Lulu punched, thrashed, kicked and grabbed the
music sheet and tore it off. However, since Lulu was broke the rules, and was not willing to
listen to her mothers convince, Chua and Lulu worked all night long on playing the piece
without having water or going to the bathroom. For the reason that Chua is a lawyer and a
law professor, she characterized as conforming people to follow all the laws or rules to
maintain peace and order; in which Chua applied her job characterizations on parenting her
two daughters. Chuas parenting style had influenced by her parents. Her father called her
garbage when she was disrespectful to his mother. Chua believed it work on her because
she felt deeply shame and terrible on what she had done; she was willing to correct her
behavior. Based on her own experience, she says scolding doesnt lower ones self-esteem;
instead, it can make one feels shame and investigate their full potentials.
Due to the restriction on population growth in China, Chinese parents greatly value their
solitary child because of the "major investment" and "national resource" the child represents
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(Jenkins). The findings from the research conducted by Kang and Moore suggest Chinese
culture may be the key factor influencing the interpretation and impact of parenting styles,
and it also found that Chinese-heritage parents are warm, supportive, and loving toward their
children even though they prefer an authoritarian parenting style. Chinese parents expect
their children to obtain a graduate or professional degree. In addition, Chinese parents are less
satisfied with grades of Bs and Cs than European and Latino American parents, and attribute
success in school to effort rather than innate ability(Kang, Moore 135). Similar to Chua,
Chinese parents in China practice the similar parenting style on being strict, controlling and
demanding high academic achievement of their children. They have high expectation on their
future success; expecting to obtain a professional degree for a better life.
Chinese parents are very firm with their childrens education in the U.S. They tend to
compare the education between China and the U.S. because they believe there were lower
academic expectations in the U.S. than in their home country. In U.S. parents encouraged
their children to attend afterschool program that the school offers. Mostly, Chinese parents
are willing to pay and send their children to learn something that the school doesnt offer, like
swimming class and taekwondo. Tutoring during the summer is undoable that almost all
Chinese children are forced to go. One reason Chinese parents offer some much activity for
their children because they want to push the children to the limit and investigate the full
potential. It brings shame and embarrassment to the family on the other hand, if the child
succeeds in academics; it represents the triumph of the entire family (Huang, Gove 11). The
second reason is Chinese parents afraid of losing face. If the children dont do well at the
school, parents will put into a disappointed, anxious, and embarrassed situation. Parents
believe childrens consequences can disgrace the family because to them, face is equal to the
one's dignity and ones reputation. Parents do care about how the society and people around
them view them because they afraid of judgment and insult. Therefore, they believe that they
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have the obligations and responsibilities to help and to build their childrens success in
education.
Chinese parents are not only concerned about the behaviors at home, the academic
progress at school, but they also pay close attention on their childrens social network and
safety concern outside of home. Chinese parents tend to ask their children a lot of questions
about daily matters, such as what did they eat for lunch, anything special happens today and
peer issues, because they wanted to maintain a watchful eye on their children, to make sure
that they were not falling under negative influences.If it's not good, then don't have relations
with them... if your relations affect your studies; don't spend too much energy trying to be
their friend (Gorman 76). The parents have specific rules regarding to friendship, for
example, inviting friends home, so they can have a background check about their children's
friends directly by avoiding bad friends. According to their own definition, bad friends,
are people who engaged negative activities, disrespectful and dont do well at school.
Chinese parents place emphasis on or overemphasize academic achievements and ranking in
class or among peers, but pay less attention to questions about how their child is interacting
with other students (Zhou 4-5). This shows that Chinese parents believe academic
achievement is the only criteria to determine everything, including ones personality, identity
and ethics aspects. Chinese parents tend to compare their childs academic progress with
other peers. Parents tend to choose students who perform well in school as friends for their
own child because they believed with the help of the friends, their child can learn good-study
habits and self-identify as the excellent students. However, some Chinese parents make social
adjustments to their children by attempting to accommodate their children's desires on social
life and entertainment. They believe the world is changing; the children should fit in the
society as soon as possible because having friends can expand their social network, having
more advantages on job-seeking in the future.
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New generations of Chinese parents are more open-minded than the previous generations
of parent as the society is growing, more and more parents are prefer in authoritative
parenting style. According to the study, Mimi Chang shows that teenager needs a balance
between their own independence and the guidance of their parents. Being in the adolescence
stage, it is important that children create a sense of self when they being independent. If
parents are constantly giving too much direction to their children on what exactly they need
to do, they could potentially hold back the ability to learn and to experiment themselves.
Children may lack the ability or skill to think on their feet and make effective decisions when
they become an adult. However, without proper directions from parents, children might take
the wrong the wrong path or make the wrong decisions. Therefore, nowadays, many Chinese
parents prefer an authoritative parenting style to avoid conflicts with their children because
they afraid of lacking communication and interaction with their child if they have a negative
relationship. They try to not giving too much pressure to their children on following the
established rules. Parents only step in their childrens life and give proper directions and
warm attention when they need them.
As the society is changing, people shouldnt stubbornly stay committed to their own
belief. They should will to accept others suggestion, and choose the best method for their
children. Some Chinese parents prefer in authoritative parenting style in which allowing
exceptions to the rules they established; willing to listen to their childs thoughts and feeling,
and having the combination of high levels of warmth and firm control. According to the study
Parenting Attitudes and Practices of Immigrant Chinese Mothers of Adolescents, German
shows that half of the Chinese mothers prefer in this type of parenting style because they
concerned on the concept of family as a center, they afraid of having bad relationship with
their child. In general, they keep "one eye open and one eye closed," in which express some
degree of flexibility, and tend to ignore the minor infractions if the child keeps on track with
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the school work and obey family rules.

In conclusion, many Chinese parents prefer the authoritarian parenting style due to the
culturally-base bias on parental ruling, cultural values, academic adjustment and social ruling.
As time changes, many Chinese parents allow exceptions for their children because they
believe they should banned old belief in other to fit in the new society as other parents from
other countries. My favorite style of parenting is authoritative parenting because having
superior control on the children can neglect ones feeling and demand; whereas without
proper rules and advises, children might make the wrong decision and judgment because their
brain is not well-developing yet, so it is difficult for them to make the right decision,
therefore, parents should interfere on childrens decision-making and their proper behaviors;
at the same time, parent should allow exception and private space for their children. I believe
every child is individual that parents shouldnt use fixed parenting style; they should adjust
their parenting style base on the childs needs and demands.

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Works citied
Chua, Amy. "Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior" Article. Wall Street Journal. Web. Apr
2015
Chang, Mimi. Cultural Differences in Parenting Styles and Their Effects on Teens' Selfesteem, Perceived Parental Relationship Satisfaction, and Self-satisfaction. Article.
Carnegie Mellon University 2007
Gorman, Jean Cheng. Parenting Attitudes and Practices of Immigrant Chinese Mothers of
Adolescents. Family Relations, Vol. 47, No. 1 (Jan., 1998), pp. 73-80
Huang, Grace Hui-Cheng, and Mary Gove. Confucianism and Chinese Families: Values
and Practices in Education. International Journal of Humanities and Social Science,
Vol2, No. 3 (2012) Ijhssnet. May 2015.
Jenkins, Alexis. "Chinese Culture & Parenting." LIVESTRONG.COM. LIVESTRONG.COM,
28 Jan. 2015. Web. May 2015.
Kang, Yanrong, and Joyce Moore. "Parenting Style and Adolescents School Performance in
Mainland China." US-China Education Review Web. May 2015.
Zhou, George. "What Are Chinese Immigrant Parents' Concerns with Their Children's
Education?" RCIS Working Paper (2013): Web. May 2015.

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