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Trixie Cruz
Mr. Orapello
English 12 H
20 April 2015
*insert title here*
Change was the facet of life that puzzled me the most. It is an inevitable part of life, but it
could either go wrong or right. In my life I could change for the worst, which seemed
terrifying, but I could also change for the better, and I looked forward to that. Moving to the
United States was one of these good changes. As a child, I lived in a conservative, religious
culture that was resistant to ideas that were against the Catholic doctrine, so I was not familiar
with the idea of change until I was exposed to a more individualistic society in the United States.
I began to question the merit of my beliefs, the validity of my familys prejudices, and the basis
of my opinions; there were other sides to each of these that I was only so vaguely aware of. The
adjustment process was notably quick; I went from narrow-minded Catholic school kid to
permissive, accommodating liberal in a matter of months. I saw my culture as a hindrance to
what could have been in my personal development, I rejected my old mindset, and incessantly
praised the new lifestyle I had. If I still lived in my home country, some of my old peers and
teachers would think I changed for the worst, but if I think about how much I have grown out
of my uninformed bigotry, I might have just changed for the better. In that way, my culture
may have been a bad influence on the way I used to think, but it is also a good influence because
if not for the changes, I would not have been able to appreciate the new society I am now in.
Normally one would think that such a drastic difference would make things more
difficult, but there are more factors to how I was able to adjust so easily. Before I moved to the
United States, I only knew what I learned in Catholic school and was ignorant to anything

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beyond the teachings. I was aware that other people across the earth had different types of faiths,
were of different races, lived their lives differently, but I did not think much of them, as my
world was just what I knew. Since that was when I was younger, my habits, my surroundings,
and even my opinions were chosen for me. I now have the knowledge and hopefully, the wisdom
to make my own decisions on the way I live my life. Upon migrating, I was exposed to the
different people I was so clueless about, and now, almost four years in the US, I have learned to
break away from that strict, doctrine-driven mentality and have become more open-minded.
There are times where I still have that prejudiced mindset; I sometimes feel scandalized when I
read Bible conspiracy theories, or hear about polygamists and their practices and whatnot. Even
if I can see beyond my previous, narrower mindset, my past still is a major influence and it is not
as easy to completely change from it. I admit these conspiracy theories and polygamist villages
are very fascinating though, because I would have never imagined their existence before. A mind
of my own was something I unfortunately lacked in my childhood, and being away from that
faith and hearing about different ways of life has given me the chance to make my own thoughts
by taking what I have learned and interpreting them in any way I want to, because I am allowed
to. Not trying to bag on religion here, I am not trying to sound like a New England colonist, but
once I realized some prejudices and beliefs in my religion were baseless, I was able to
immediately embrace the new culture around me. If I laughed at a Jesus joke back at Catholic
school, my teachers would tell me I might go to hell, but no one has said that to me here and I
love it.
Interestingly, I project whatever has been lacking in my life through my attitude. When I
disagree with someone, I almost never argue with them because I believe in being entitled to an
opinion. I admire the fact that the person is openly being vocal about said opinion. Assertiveness

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is a trait I was not so encouraged to have- being stoic was safer apparently- and I like seeing this
in others because contrasts fascinate me. When it comes to something I disagree on, its not that I
view the persons opinion critically, but I really try to understand their point of view. There is a
difference between just knowing and having knowledge; knowing does not necessarily equate to
understanding, while knowledge is something retained; it literally is understanding. Others may
call my silence passive, but I see it as being neutral. Many people in my home country lacked
tolerance for other views, which made me hold back from expressing myself, and now I try to
provide that receptiveness I lacked in the disagreements I encounter. I really wish this was not
the case when it comes to actions I dislike. I find it difficult to say no to others, and that has
made me vulnerable enough to be easily taken advantage of. My peers say I am practically a
saint for helping anyone who asks, and I agree, because oftentimes these people I help do not
even return the favor. Generosity, as I was taught, was an essential value to a fruitful and joyful
life but I guess I did not understand to what extent I had to be generous to achieve that. Am I
still being generous if I feel like I am being used? It definitely feels wrong, and the favor,
because I was too afraid to refuse, loses meaning when I see it as a burden. Kindness and
generosity should be two-way streets, and my perception of help may as well be distorted
because I expect it back. I dont know how martyrs sacrifice themselves out of kindness without
expecting anything in return, but I hope the people theyve helped sincerely appreciate them.
Expectations, as with most people, are both positive and negative influences on me. Back
in my home country, my family was considered well-off and highly respected. My parents were
both college graduates, which was uncommon, and had established careers: my father was an
engineer, and my mother was a doctor. As a child, I was provided with quality education,
sufficient resources to help me succeed at school, and whatever I asked for. This was even

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further pronounced when I migrated to the United States. I was, and still am expected to take
advantage of these blessings, and knowing that I am fortunate motivates me in achieving my
goals. Unfortunately, there was the social stigma- which I will probably get by saying this- that
came with being blessed. Whenever I would try to befriend people outside my school or some
others who did not share the same blessings, they would make wrong assumptions and avoid me,
and it did not even matter how hard I tried to connect with them, because at some point I became
too concerned with what others taught of me. When I came to the United States, this went on to
noticing respected people and the qualities they had and I thought, oh, this is how I should be.
This is what society expects me to be. I do not think this way anymore, but some of the most
trivial things about myself still bother me at times: I do not like using my full name because not
many people in America have a name that long, and I hate talking in front of many people
because some people notice my accent and call me out for it. I blame my self-esteem fluctuations
on my culture and upbringing, but it also seems to be something that most, if not all, people
struggle with at some point in their lives. Blaming my social influences actually does not help
me improve or feel better about myself; people grow out of their complexes and I can just look
forward to the day I get over mine.
Change itself is broad; it means growth, but it can also mean a decline. When I reflect on
how much the influences in my life have changed me, I can understand the psychology behind
the way I think and how I was able to adapt to change amidst my culture and the teachings that
were placed on me as a child.