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Gabrielle Gonzalez

Writing 2 WP2
Professor De Piero
May 2, 2015
To Eat, or Not to Eat
Todays generation of youth is submerged in a world of technology and convenience.

Commented [ZD1]:
Commented [ZD2]: Its true.

Amongst these conveniences, one of the easiest available to children is the access to food while
watching television. Many children in todays society spend a good amount of time plugged into
technology and it results in a correlation between what they are watching and the effect it has on
their eating habits. Authors from a biological research paper, an academic journal on social
behavior, and an online article use their moves to observe the relationship between consumption
and TV watching.
From a biological standpoint, a survey was conducted to assess the eating behaviors that
result from watching television amongst teens. In Mediators of longitudinal associations
between television viewing and eating behaviours in adolescents, Natalie Pearson, Kylie Ball,
and David Crawford examine the patterns of snacking during these long periods of sitting in
front of a screen. The genre of this source is an academic research paper. Additionally, the eating
behaviors associated with TV can be examined through a social discipline as well. Tegan
Cruwys, Kirsten E. Bevelander, and Roel C.J. Hermans explore the lack of social activity that
can lead to increased calorie intake in their scholarly journal entitled, Social modeling of eating:
A review of when and why social influence affects food intake and choice. A third source, 7
Highly Disturbing Trends in Junk Food Advertising to Children, is an online article from
alternet.org written by Laura Gottesdiener.

Commented [ZD3]: I like how youve specified


biological/sociology/non-academic, but Im not quite sure
what youre arguing here. Remember: your reader is
most likely going to be expecting a thesis statement at the
end of your Intro (or occasionally 2 nd paragraph) that
clearly detail what point/argument/stance theyre
taking and what evidence theyre basing that on. Right
now, I dont know where youre taking me.
Also, what kind(s) of moves are you analyzing?
Specificity is key.
Commented [ZD4]: This topic sentence is confusing
me I feel like I just jumped in the deep end without
realizing I was going for a swim. (thats the best way I can
phrase it at the moment).
Whats this paragraph ultimately about? What are you
hoping to accomplish with it?
Whatever that is, considering using that for your topic
sentence.

Gonzalez 2
All three texts argue in favor that the amount of television children are exposed to plays a
role in their eating decisions and habits. Each display similar and different conventions as well as
rhetorical style. The general layout of the sources is similar in that they are separated by a

Commented [ZD5]: Ditto, above. Your topic sentence


should key your reader into whats coming up, aheadie,
what the main focus is of the paragraph and how that
pertains to your argument.

heading followed by a paragraph of explanation. Prior to the body content, the research paper,
scholarly journal, and website article provide an introductory paragraph in order to provide the
reader with background information to help clarify or define key concepts of the source. The two
scholarly pieces contain more outside evidence and resources compared to the online article.
This is important to any academically based paper because outside sources help to support claims
and provide reliable information that adds credibility to ones argument. Additionally, the texts
contain differences as well. Mediators of longitudinal associations between television viewing
and eating behaviours in adolescents and Social modeling of eating: A review of when and

Commented [ZD6]: Looks to me like youre jumping to


a new ideatime for a new para?
Also, this is super-vague at the moment. What differences?

why social influence affects food intake and choice, have been peer reviewed, whereas 7
Highly Disturbing Trends in Junk Food Advertising to Children has not. The online article does
not need to be peer reviewed because it is not an academic source. Lastly, the article contains
color images, yet the two scholarly sources only contain graphs that display data collected from
the experiments. Tables including information regarding the results of the experiments allow the
reader to visually comprehend what they are reading. For the online source, pictures are added
for the purpose of providing the reader with catchy images of burgers and fries to display what
kids enjoy eating while viewing a TV set.
The authors of research paper, academic journal, and the online article all portray several

Commented [ZD7]: Arent they both research papers


from academic journals?

moves that make their writing distinguishable. Moves are elements or characteristics specific
to an author that allow them to get their point across to the reader. When writing, they keep in

Commented [ZD8]: Great! I like how you described


what moves washow YOU are using itbefore
pinpointing how they were used in these pieces.

Gonzalez 3
mind who they are addressing, in this case a college-based audience. According to So What?
Who Cares? recognizing who cares is a smart move to avoid the risk of losing the readers
interest. This is important to consider because when a writer can identify his or her reader, it
creates writing that readers will feel invested in and want to see resolved, (Birkenstein and
Graff, 93). In the same manner, Janet Boyd in Murder! (Rhetorically Speaking) mentions that
whenever one is in a rhetorical situation, it prompts the writer to choose the right diction or
even jargon and to strike the right tone (Boyd, 57). By understanding who cares the author
can use appropriate moves to suit his or her intended audience. For the first text, Pearson, Ball,
and Crawford use jargon specifically tailored to the science behind the behaviors associated with
television watching. In the title alone, words such as mediators and longitudinal associations

Commented [ZD9]: Youre jumping around a lot, GG.


Not just in this para, but in all of your paragraphs
So far in this one, we went from
-moves
-so what/who cares?
-jargon/tone
How do all of these ideas fit together? (Do all of these ideas
fit together? If so, how?)

are not commonly used in everyday speech for most people. Yet keywords like these serve the
purpose of appealing towards a specific audience. Similarly, the authors include a brief overview

How do you want to use these ideas? How do they help you
enhance/support your argument?

of the entire paper in order to provide the reader with a summary of what he or she is about to
read. Without this little bit of information the reader might have a hard time trying to get a grasp
on its content, especially if he or she is not an expert in biological studies. The audience is most

Commented [ZD10]: OK, I like the textual examples


here
but youre jumping around again, this time, from specific
word choice (and how that can attract a certain audience)
to the inclusion of a summary at the start.

likely college-based, consisting of people interested on the topic or fellow peers that have
reviewed the paper. The academic journal has the same audience as well. However, the purpose

What do these ideas have in common? Whats the link


between/among them? Youve got to find that out so you
can include them in the same paragraph?

of this source is to examine eating behaviors from a social perspective. The moves Cruwys,

Also, weve got a serious Attack of the Page-Long


Paragraph! happening here.

Bevelander, and Hermans consist of several subheadings broken down paragraph by paragraph

Commented [ZD11]: I think you might be missing a


word here. The moves they use?

throughout the entire journal. This allows for clarity when reading the piece and the reader
knows what to expect based on the title of each section. For example, a few of the headings are
entitled contextual factors followed by age and type of food with detailed explanation

Gonzalez 4
underneath. This makes it easier to understand the content of the study because the reader can
identify which aspect of the data will be presented. Furthermore, the title of the journal is easier

Commented [ZD12]: Page and a Half Attack!


Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Im drowning in a deep sea of
words

to understand compared to the research paper. It does not contain lengthy words and readers hat
are not experts in the field can understand and know what to expect before reading. The third
source grabs its audience by including disturbing and trends in its heading. This move
captivates the reader into wanting to read more about such trends that are affecting children. The

Commented [ZD13]: Absolutely, they definitely


grabbed my attention.

audience for this is different than the two scholarly sources because it is geared more towards
concerned parents. The tone is less serious for this text, but still informational at the same time.
The author, Gottesdiener, is very expressional by using subheadings like Bombarded! and
asking several rhetorical questions throughout her article. All three texts include data and outside

Commented [ZD14]: OK, youre doing a nice job of


characterizing these writers styles. The question is: what
argument is this supporting?

research as their evidence, however some may be more credible than others. For instance, the
online article refers to its research using phrases like study shows and according to the data
without really giving a definite citation. Whereas the scholarly papers specifically cite their
resources directly from doctors and academic publications in the same field.
Non-academic sources serve different purposes for different occasions the way scholarly
texts are useful in their own way. An academic audience turns to journals and other scholarly,
peer-reviewed works when searching for reliable sources of evidence. A college student
probably would not cite a random website in his or her research paper due to the lack of
credibility of being non-academic. Thats not to say online sources arent useful because they
can in fact be used for other purposes. Each source is persuasive in its own way as well. Take 7
Highly Disturbing Trends in Junk Food Advertising to Children for example. It is effective
because it has a catchy title and grabs the readers attention. The article is persuasive because it

Commented [ZD15]: This can be your central


argumentyou just need to state it, then stick to it.
I need to know where Im going when Im reading this, and
why Im going where Im going. Its been tough for me to
find that out.

Gonzalez 5
attempts to convince readers that television ads are influential on children. This is effective
because the author includes outrageous statements like, the ads are what making kids fat which
would not be found in a scholarly piece. The audience of the online site might find a research
paper rather boring in comparison. Yet, scholarly texts are quite useful and used throughout
colleges everywhere. Academic journals are highly sought after for evidence and facts to support
ones claim. The overall effectiveness of a written source is determined by what the reader is
searching for.
The authors of the research paper, academic journal, and website article have successfully
used their moves to convey the relationship between eating habits and television watching in
their own ways. The academic journal and research paper share more similarities because they
are catered to an academic audience. However, the online article is still successful at persuading
its audience with the authors use of moves that are specific to that genre. Additionally, the
reader can expect the type of content each source contains based on their titles and structures. All
things considered, each author is effective even though the three texts are from different
disciplines.

Works Cited
Pearson, Natalie, et al. Mediators of longitudinal associations between television viewing and
eating behaviours in adolescents. International Journal of Behavioral Nutrition &
Physical Activity.8 (2011) 23-31. Print.
Cruwys, Tegan, et al. Social modeling of eating: A review of when and why social influence
affects food intake and choice. Appetite. 86. (2015). 3-18. Print.
Gottesdiener, Laura. "7 Highly Disturbing Trends in Junk Food Advertising to Children."
Alternet. 29 Nov. 2012. Web. 04 May 2015.
Birkenstein and Graff. So What? Who Cares? Saying Why It Matters. Writing Spaces:
Reading on Writings, Volume 1. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data.
91-93. Print
Boyd, Janet. Murder! (Rhetorically Speaking). Writing Spaces: Reading on Writings, Volume
2. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data. 2011. 57. Print.

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