You are on page 1of 8

Andrew Kim

5/3/15
Writing 2
De Piero
A Move is a Terrible Thing to Waste
In all aspects of society, people utilize moves or skills that become synonymous
to them. Moves range from a variety of things. Typically most people associate a move to
sports star like Allen Iverson and his crossover or The Rock and his signature Peoples
Elbow. Unbeknownst to many people, even writers have specific moves that defines their
writing as well as individualizes it. In his article, How to read Like a Writer, Mike
Bunn mentions the importance of reading like a writer because they utilize moves. Bunn

Zack De Piero 5/10/15 1:03 PM


Comment [1]: What a COOL title! Hell
yeah, Andrew! J
Zack De Piero 5/10/15 1:04 PM
Comment [2]: I dont love this sentence-
its suuuuuuuuuuper vague.

Also, remember: things isnt a precise
term at all. Success in academic writing
requires being as specific as possible with
our language.

Zack De Piero 5/10/15 1:04 PM


Comment [3]: Comma before quotation
marks.

states that understanding moves is realizing the choices the author made and the
techniques that he/she used are influencing ones response and view on the paper (Bunn
72). Writers have specific moves that distinguish their writing, emphasize their beliefs,
and produce a certain response from their readers. In three different texts about
homosexuality, the authors utilize their respective moves to portray their views on
homosexuality whether it is about the biological, religious, or mainstream view of it.
Based on the three texts, the most persuasive was the biological research paper then
followed by the religious research paper and then the article because the research papers
used more sources and specialists to strengthen their paper.
In Understanding the Causes of Same-Sex Marriage, Eleanor Whiteway, a
researcher in Cambridge, and Denis R. Alexander, an Emeritus Director of the Faraday
Institute for Science and Religion at St Edmund's College, collaborated on an academic
text that correlates homosexuality with genetics. The text is a type of research paper. The
authors intended fellow educated peers to learn and gain from this piece. In this paper,
the authors are trying to convey the complexity of homosexuality and how multiple

Zack De Piero 5/10/15 1:05 PM


Comment [4]: I like how youre starting
out with moves and making this the
foundation of your intro/paper; however,
Im wondering if youre taking up a bit too
much time/space with this, which means
less on the different disciplines/sources.
Zack De Piero 5/10/15 1:06 PM
Comment [5]: I dont love this as a
connector, Andrewits not very clear what
the connection is. Biology, religion, and
mainstreamthese are 3 whats of
understanding the topic of homosexuality?
(I want you to find out whatever it is you
want to use.)
Zack De Piero 5/10/15 1:07 PM
Comment [6]: What texts? (I think you
need to introduce them first.)
Zack De Piero 5/10/15 1:07 PM
Comment [7]: Based on what?

Zack De Piero 5/10/15 1:08 PM


Comment [8]: I think you can find a
smarter way of phrasing this.
Zack De Piero 5/10/15 1:08 PM
Comment [9]: Thats all there is to it? Just
use more sources?

What about the sources/specialists makes
these sources more persuasive? I think you
need to dig a bit deeper, my man.
Zack De Piero 5/10/15 1:09 PM
Comment [10]: Learn/gain what, exactly?

factors attribute to it. Even though the paper acknowledges all the sociological factors,
the authors stress the close correlation of homosexuality with genetics. Because this
paper is a research paper, the style of this paper is formal and informative. The authors
desire to convey their research.
In Homosexuality: Not a Sin-Not a Sickness, Russ Tate wrote a research
academic text on religions view of homosexuality. Tate, in his paper, discusses the
divisive split between Christians on the topic of homosexuality. Like any typical research
paper, the paper by Tate follows the general convention of a research paper. The paper
has multiple sources and citations as well as an introduction or abstract that gives a
general summary of the research paper. The paper also has charts, data, and surveys that
strengthens the views of the author as well as solidify the authors claim. Although Tate
wrote a research paper, this particular paper has a distinct audience. The paper is targeted
for the religious scholars, but because of the controversial nature of this topic it is read by
the public whether they are Christians, homosexuals, or average citizens. And because
this is an academic text, the author uses an informative and formal tone to match the
convention of a research paper.
On the Los Angeles Times (LA Times), Gregory Rodriguez, a columnist, writes an
article called Gay-The New Straight that talks about the growing support of

Zack De Piero 5/10/15 1:09 PM


Comment [11]: to whom? Do you want
to get at audience here?
Zack De Piero 5/10/15 1:10 PM
Comment [12]: Andrew, Im wondering if
your paper would benefit from re-
structuring the organization. Instead of

Source #1
Source #2
Source #3

Could your paper/argument unfold a more
integrated/interwoven way if you did
something like:

Idea #1 (sources 1, 2, 3)
Idea #2 (sources 1, 2, 3)
Idea #3 (sources 1, 2, 3)?

Zack De Piero 5/10/15 1:10 PM


Comment [13]: So what? What does this
ultimately have to do with your argument?

Remember: everything in a thesis-driven
paper must ultimately support/enhance
your argument.
Zack De Piero 5/10/15 1:12 PM
Comment [14]: Why do these things
strengthen their views?
Zack De Piero 5/10/15 1:12 PM
Comment [15]: In

homosexuality. This article is a mainstream media article that is not necessarily meant to
educate society, but instead gives analysis and information on any topic that happens to
be about homosexuality. This article has a serious tone because the article is from a
respected news source, but at the same time lacks the intensity of an academic text. The
article is intended for the general public, as it does not utilize specific jargon that only the

Zack De Piero 5/10/15 1:15 PM


Comment [16]: OK, can you back this up?
Textual examples?

educated would know. Also because La Times is a consumer product, this article needs
an appealing title-which attracts consumers-and short paragraphs-which makes the text
look more appealing and readable.
All three texts have similar and dissimilar rhetorical features and conventions
because of the flexibility of genre itself. Even though the mainstream media article is a
different genre than an academic research paper, they share similarities because genre
does not have set walls. Instead genre is permeable clay that can be meshed allowing
freedom in identifying a genre. In her article about genre, Navigating Genres, Dirk
describes the nature of genre as, no rules apply to all genres, and that genre require more
effort than simply following the rules (Dirk 258). Genre do not have set boundaries,
instead they are free and open. Altogether, the three texts share conventions like having a
title, which reveals to the reader the topic that will be discussed, and having similar tone.
Although some varied in the severity of the tone, the three texts were created in order to

Zack De Piero 5/10/15 1:16 PM


Comment [17]: Very true.

Im wondering if you want to introduce this
earlier, Andrewie, use GENRE as one of
the foundations of you paper from the get-
go.

Zack De Piero 5/10/15 1:16 PM


Comment [18]: OK, you already state this.

Also, Im beginning to wonder so what?
What does this habve to do with your
argument?

inform others and make them more aware of the topic at hand and as a result had an
informative tone and style. None of the paper felt personal. They never used first-person
perspective like I which would create closeness between the readers. By using firstperson, the writer breaks the formal barrier associated in a paper. This style was accurate
because in paper and texts like a research paper and in a news article, the authors are not
trying to create a bond, but instead show their findings.
However, the three texts have differences between one another because every text
is unique to others. The two academic research papers differ between one another even
though they are of the same genre. As stated, genre is a not a set law or boundary that
must be followed. As a result, the texts have differences that make them unique. One

Zack De Piero 5/10/15 1:17 PM


Comment [19]: Yes. Good observations.
Zack De Piero 5/10/15 1:44 PM
Comment [20]: What do you mean by
accurate here?

thing the two papers and even the La Times article differed in was the structure of the
text itself. For the work on the religious aspect on homosexuality, Tate structured the
paper into multiple paragraphs that explained one issue, key term, or idea separately. For
the paper on the biological aspect of homosexuality, the paper was longer and more in
depth. It was separated not by mini-paragraphs with one idea, but instead chunks of
paragraphs that explained one topic, which was followed by another topic and with
graphs and charts. And for the news article on the changing view of homosexuality, the
paper was structured into multiple tiny paragraphs that gave the impression to the reader
that the paper was short and succinct. The papers also differed in utilization of data as
well as citation. For the academic papers, the citations were present and noticeable
throughout the paper because the papers needed the credible backing. But for the news
article, the necessity for the credible backing is far less and so the need for multiple
citations and sources is limited and less prevalent.
For Understanding the Causes of Same-Sex Marriage an article on the

Zack De Piero 5/10/15 1:46 PM


Comment [21]: This is a huge idea and
worth elaborating on.

connection between genetics and homosexuality, Eleanor Whiteway and Denis R.


Alexander utilize moves that strengthen and improves their paper. One move that the two
authors used was abbreviation. Although to the general public, abbreviation may not
seem as a powerful or important move; however abbreviations have strength because it
makes the paper less bulky. Whiteway and Alexander utilize this move when they shorten
phrases to, same-sex attraction (SSA) or opposite sex (OSA) to attraction. Instead of
reading a long phrase, readers can correlate that abbreviation to the phrase that, if left
alone, would originally make the paper bulky and convoluted. The two authors also use
the move of bringing other specialists and sources to add credence to their papers. They

Zack De Piero 5/10/15 1:46 PM


Comment [22]: True, but is this
important? How does this fit into your
central argument?

mention experts like the neo-Freudian psychoanalyst Sandor Rado who, theorized that
there was no innate psychological capacity for same-sex attraction, and that
homosexuality, resulted from abnormal parent-son relationships. Whiteway and
Alexander also mention the first biological survey on homosexuality by Dean Hamer and
his revelation of the idea of the gay-gene and how one gene may be the cause of
homosexuality. This move is significant because it adds credence to the work and allows
the authors to show where the analysis comes from. By including other experts, the
authors show the step-by-step or precursor as to where the ideas behind the paper comes
from. Based on these moves, the authors want the readers to not be sidetracked by long
words but instead learn from this piece. By including the multiple sources, experiments,
and experts, the authors convey to the reader the severity and reality of the topic at hand.
They want to illuminate the multi-dimensional facet of homosexuality. And also they
wish to reveal that one view does not define this issue.
In Homosexuality: Not a Sin-Not a Sickness, Tate utilizes moves in order to
make his paper credible and to garner specific responses. Tate uses quotes in his paper in
an extravagant amount to subconsciously force attention on his. Tate quoted words like,
inclusion, gay affirming, progressive and other phrases like, anti-gay and
self-affirming. By quoting these words, it makes the readers spends a different type of
attention on them and think on why the author quoted them. Tate also uses sources from
other research and graphs to make his paper credible and his analysis understandable.
Tate, in each of his paragraphs, mentions sources from multiple credible sources, but less
than the biological paper. Tate mention sources from Kinsey, Kallman, and Bailey and
Pillard who all conducted research and surveys on homosexuality. By adding these

Zack De Piero 5/10/15 1:46 PM


Comment [23]: I dont know if you can
infer they want you to learn just because
they abbreviate
Zack De Piero 5/10/15 1:47 PM
Comment [24]: How? Youre not
convincing me. Remember: evidence=gold
in academic writing.
Zack De Piero 5/10/15 1:47 PM
Comment [25]: I like how this topic
sentence tells meOK, moves will be
analyzed in this paragraphbut what
about moves? I want more specifity.

sources, Tate can make his reader respect his analysis because it traces the steps Tate
used in his analysis.
For Gay-The New Straight, Rodriguez uses unique moves that distinguish his
writing and improve it. One move Rodriguez uses is rhetorical questions. Throughout his
article, Rodriguez uses questions to include the opposing argument. However
immediately afterwards, Rodriguez fights that counter-argument to prove his main point.

Zack De Piero 5/10/15 1:48 PM


Comment [26]: Same as last comment
above. What kind of moves, and what does
that/his moves have to do with your overall
argument?

For example, Rodriguez gave to the reader the results of a survey released by the
Williams Institute at UCLA Law School done by Gary Gates, a demographer. The results
that Gate argues state that there is a growing acceptance of homosexuality among the
American public. Immediately Rodriguez plays devils advocate and states sarcastically,
Acceptance? Really? Here Rodriguez implement two moves that combine to illicit a
similar response. He uses a sarcastic tone and question, as stated, to make the reader pay
attention to this sequence of events. He wants the reader to understand the other side of
the argument as well as to bash the argument. Also by using a sarcastic tone, the reader
realizes not to take the questions seriously and instead realize that the original argument-

Zack De Piero 5/10/15 1:48 PM


Comment [27]: Nice job! Yep!

that homosexuality has become more accepted-is accurate. And by including the
opposing argument, Rodriguez acknowledges the worth of both sides of the argument,
which makes the paper appear slightly neutral.
Both types of genre have different strengths and weaknesses. For a non-academic
piece like the LA Times article, the text is available to a greater audience. So because the
piece is more accessible, one can spread an idea or topic faster than an academic research
paper. Also a non-academic piece does not have to be approved by a group of peers-like a
research paper has to be-and so the process of getting the paper out is smoother and

Zack De Piero 5/10/15 1:49 PM


Comment [28]: Whats the connection
between these two paragraphs/points? You
need to work in a transition somehow to
bridge that gap.

easier. And vice versa, an academic research paper is stronger than a non-academic piece
because a research paper is more respected. A research paper compared to an article has
more reverence. With that respect, the paper is trusted more and held in a higher sense.
Compared to an article, one would take the words and ideas expressed in a research paper
with more gravity and believe it. Most people will hold the research paper as a more
persuasive piece, but unfortunately many people do not read research paper. As a result,
the mainstream source article than the research paper will influence the general public.
However for the scholars, the paper is definitely more persuasive and held in a higher
regard.
In the end, the most persuasive paper was the biological research paper because of
its inclusion of multiple graphs, surveys, and data as well as the inclusion of specialists
and experts. Whiteway and Alexanders paper felt the most persuasive because this paper
used the most data and experts. By including all this data and specialists, the writers
analysis and ideas expressed in the paper are more credible and emphasized because there
is data to back up the analysis. Because of this reasoning, the next persuasive paper was
the other research paper by Tate, which had a good amount of sources, and the least
persuasive was the article in La Times, which had the least use of sources. However just
because the paper was the least persuasive it does not mean that the paper was not
persuasive.
Both genres of the academic and non-academic papers are persuasive depending
on the audience. For the article, it is persuasive in gathering more reader while the
research papers have a specific audience. In the end, the non-academic and academic
have pros and cons that make each other useful.

Works Cited
Bunn, Mike. "How to Read Like a Writer." Writing Spaces: Readings on Writing 2
(2011): 72.

Dirk, Kerry. "Navigating Genres." Writing Spaces: Readings on Writing 1 (2010): 258.

Rodriguez, Gregory. "Gay-the New Straight." Los Angeles Times. Los Angeles Times,
n.d. Web. 06 May 2015. <http://www.latimes.com/news/la-oe-rodriguez5nov05column.html>.

Tate, Russ. "'Homosexuality: Not a Sin-Not a Sickness'" N.p., n.d. Web.


<http%3A%2F%2Fweb.b.ebscohost.com%2Fehost%2Fpdfviewer%2Fpdfviewer%3Fsid
%3D66e7016a-26ec-4f76-81f02acf87d99c57%2540sessionmgr115%26vid%3D1%26hid%3D101>.

Whiteway, Eleanor, and Denis R. Alexander. "Understanding the Causes of Same-Sex


Marriage." N.p., n.d. Web.
<http%3A%2F%2Fweb.b.ebscohost.com%2Fehost%2Fpdfviewer%2Fpdfviewer%3Fsid
%3Df516f9f7-1c00-4336-87ac9c61e8e59df0%2540sessionmgr112%26vid%3D1%26hid%3D101>.