[MOTIVATION] Madhusudhan Hulgi Rank 392, CSE 2014:

Three Times Failed to Clear Prelims, Fourth Time Secured a

Rank
BY INSIGHTS JULY 1 7 , 201 5

Madhus is the classic story of many aspirants. He erred many times, but
managed to learn from his failures and finally got All India Rank 392 in

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UPSC civil services exam 2014. He worked very hard this time to get this rank. It is not very
easy to digest series of failures and then emerge successful. We hope his story would inspire you
too to clear this exam in this attempt.
Journey from Nothing to Something
Madhusudhan Hulgi, Rank 392 CSE 2014
I never thought I would write an article on my journey from layman to becoming a civil servant.
My inclination for UPSC civil services started in 2008 when my friend was studying for this exam
about which I had no idea. Thats when this curiosity increased to know what civil services means
and what does a civil servant do. I constantly spoke to him about how to start and when to start.
After my Masters (from IISc) in 2009 I was so tired of studying that I just wanted to enjoy my life
with all the money I was earning. I changed my job for better prospects in my field (chemical
engineering). My work place was Hosur (near Bangalore) earlier and then Gurgaon. So I shifted
from Bangalore to Gurgaon. I started working but had this urge of doing something more to the
society. I mean, I was earning but wasnt satisfied with money.
This is when I thought I should start my preparations seriously. But the problem was where to
start from? I had no idea. During this time, my friend came to my rescue. In my first attempt I
was working and I kind of ignored the CSAT preparation and tried mugging up things for General

Studies Paper-1. As expected, it didnt work for me and I missed my ticket to Mains on large
margin.
My optionals were Public Administration and Sociology then. I was directionless about these
subjects so took sabbatical from work and took coaching for Public Administration and Sociology. I
was devastated when I didnt clear prelims in my first attempt. I continued with my work and took
break from studies. Motivation level was too low.
But at any cost wanted to be a civil servant, so started studying again. In my second attempt I
changed my strategy and worked on CSAT too. Considering that I would clear prelims I wrote
every Sunday mocks in Delhi for my Optional. This time also it didnt work and I didnt clear
prelims.
Generally when we fail for the second attempt we feel we dont deserve to be a civil servant. I had
weird feeling of dejection because this was the first time I had faced failure for the second time.
The same year I didnt clear KPSC (Karnataka Public Service Commission) Prelims. It was kind of
icing on the cake for disappointment spree.
But god definitely has plans. One of my college friend had cleared the exam the same year and I
happened to be in touch with him after Mains. He constantly pushed me saying there is an element
of uncertainty in this exam so one should never feel bad and should always be ready to bounce
back and fight hard. This is when I decided to quit my government job in Gurgaon and left for
Bangalore.
I had no place to stay. Then again I got in touch with my college friend who was also preparing for
civil services, he allowed me to stay at his place. Here large element of discussions helped me
change my thought process. I started having a different approach to each topic.
It was kind of good to stay with my friend because of his habit of criticising, underestimating me.
Actually he pushed me more to work harder. ( always thank people who say you cant do it ) . He
had decided that I am not fit for civil services and should be more of an MBA guy. This usually
happens when people aim for toughest exam and the opinion would be dont do it, enjoy your life
and dont get all frustrated with failure .
Hence to overcome the negativity I started gymming and hence kept the enthusiasm high . So
gymming was a great stress reliever.
In my Third attempt I had worked more than what I worked for the 4 th attempt. But as usual the
result was the same. Same old story was repeated, wrote mocks for Optional again (Now only one
Optional was there). And as usual i didnt clear the Prelims. This was the heights of
disappointment.
I was unable to take the failure. I was depressed for months. Had gone underground, didnt speak
to anyone. I was afraid of criticism. Started getting tough on myself and never gave credits for

myself for all the effort I had put in. One most important thing in this process is that people
around you appreciate only when they see the results and not the effort one puts in. So the end
becomes more important than the means taken to reach there.
I had decided that I wouldnt give this exam anymore and quit studying. I started searching for job
in Bangalore. My parents had given freedom to do whatever I wanted to do, but every time I failed
I felt I am disappointing them more than myself. So if at least I work they need not have to face
the social stigma of 28 yr old guy doing nothing and sitting at home.
Lots of things are common in aspirants, first of all the kind of pressure they face from society
because of the failure and then the usual comparison with their children and making you feel low.
This is all I have faced throughout this journey. (But I would say ignore all these my friends)
But one fine day, my dad called me up and asked me what you want to do in life. I was like, I
want to be a civil servant but UPSC isnt letting me to write the Mains. So he said its not about
how hard you get hit but its about how hard you can take the hit and keep moving forward, you
have come a long way and have worked enough , so at least for my sake give one more attempt
(Similar to Rocky movie dialogue though!

Apart from my dad there is one more person that is Ambrish Pujari, he too asked me to give one
last attempt. Both this conversation happened on the same day and both wanted me to do it for
one last time and they had promised me that in case I didnt clear Prelims again they would not
force me again to write this exam. At the same time I met this wonderful person , Deepika, she
was a big moral support for me throughout this period. She has been one of those people who stood
by me thick and thin throughout this journey.
So I took some time and started getting preparing for this exam. But I thought lets try other
exams too, so I filled forms for CAPF, NABARD, RBI Grade B, SSC CGL. I mean I have written all
those exams which allowed me to write based on certain eligibility. But I failed in all of these
exams. I never cleared even first stage of these exams. In fact the SSC Tier 2 was so easy even that
I failed. Probably god had some other plans for me.
But what could be done was to change the strategy in this attempt for civil service so I studied
having broader perspective in mind with respect to every topic, started asking questions to myself
and started looking for answers. It took time in the beginning but didnt give up. This helped me to
understand why certain things happen in government/society and what can be the feasible
solution.
I never prepared for Prelims and Mains separately. Worked simultaneously for both. But I made it
a point to revise the week long work at the end of the week. This way I was able to remember and
I need not had to put in extra effort to remember things. I didnt want to ignore CSAT so worked
on comprehensions and maths, practised with timings.

Then I wrote 4 th Prelims, but this time I had told my dad and Pujari not to have any expectations.
So I had this lesser element of pressure before the exam. As usual I started preparing for Mains
immediately after Prelims.
This is when I came in touch with Vinay sir through my friend Kiran. I got to know about Insights
through this way. But I was late because most of them had enrolled earlier. But somehow pestered
Vinay sir to let me write mocks and had told him I wont let him down. He trusted me and gave
me chance to write the exam.
I was pathetic in writing but Vinay sir (from insightsonindia) kept pushing me to improve
everything in writing. I was bad in everything, with respect to content, articulation, word limit,
relevance etc. I banked a lot on Insights strategy. One of the best things about this mock was that
there was stepwise improvement in writing , for example, it was 1 hr 10 questions and
subsequently 3 hr 30 questions. This eventually helped me to first improve speed then content and
finally word limit and articulation. In mean time we got Prelims result and when I cleared this
time I felt as if I had already joined the civil service!
This is when the effort had to be doubled and accordingly Vinay sir kept on giving me inputs to
improve with respect to relevance and word limit. Finally things were falling in place.
He even allowed me to write essays keeping in mind the points he had told earlier. He helped me to
improve the introduction and conclusion of the essay. This continuous evaluation helped me to
improve and work harder. In mean time I was also supported by my friend Kiran regarding how
to improvise essay.
These 4 months (Sept to Dec 2014) of Mains preparation helped me change the facet of my work
and I felt I could do it. Immediately after my mains I searched for job because this uncertainty
was still troubling me and my parents. So I took up a job in April 2015.
In the mean time when results were out and when I was given a chance to face interview I again
looked for Vinay sir for help. He helped me out with how to prepare for interview (I scored 179).
What should be focussed upon and how to have a balanced opinion, body posture etiquettes to be
followed etc.
Finally I made it into the list.
When I look back, I feel, I made it because there were certain people who bestowed this
unconditional support throughout this journey, my parents (GOD), my Pujari, my Vinay sir and
few friends Ibrar, Sajag, Surendra, Deepika, Rajesh etc. I moved all the way from nothing to
something at the end of 4 years. The moment I am living today is worth the every pain I took for
these 4 years.
I would like to say one thing to all the aspirants work hard and never give up, every time you fall
down, get up and say I can do this thats how this win could be made. Never compare yourself to

others because each individual is good at something, so work on it and you will find a way and if
you have faith in yourself then nothing is impossible.