A Totally Subjective Account by a Full Time Student Teacher

By Daniel Bowes
My perspective at the start of the Professional Development Program at SFU could only
really be described as a patronizing well-meaning ignorance. I thought I knew how to be a
teacher. How to teach, the science of teaching and the art of teaching, suddenly were foreign
concepts with which I had to reacquaint myself. I engaged with education in new ways. Then
Special Education and Aboriginal Education became a thing. Well, I suppose always were there,
but lurking where I couldnt see them.
I still remember my teacher asking our class: So, what do you know about AbEd? Did I
really know anything for certain? I suddenly became aware that very little of my knowledge on
aboriginal culture felt concrete. Everything I knew, or felt that I knew, could be just ignorant
racism. Having read Thomas Kings The Inconvenient Indian as the entirety of my recent
knowledge on Aboriginal issues, I thought myself prepared for this topic. My fianc had taken an
aboriginal art history minor, like, three years ago. Do I remember anything from this?
Uh Thats not a great start.
Addressing the issues that aboriginal peoples face in Canada in the wake of residential
schools? can be heard from the back of the class. I knew that.
Good, anything else?
Understanding that our communities are situated on ancestral native land? Somewhere
closer this time to where I am sitting.
Also very good.

Acknowledging and acknowledging the extended role aboriginal peoples have played in
creating Canada as we know it today? I actually knew that! Shame I didnt say it
Ultimately the conversation of aboriginal issues comes back to this: I feel like a foreigner
wading through this topic. I feel like I have no right to address these issues or speak of these
concepts within my class because it is something I have to learn and havent lived. I was anxious
about this when the conversation of AbEd seriously began in my education, then when I saw the
movie We Were Children, I was downright terrified. I felt guilty over my familys past who came
to New France in the 1630s during the start of colonization of the New World. I feel guilty that
my English family and my French family often forget that my great grandmother was Cree, and
never talk about it. I feel guilty that I want to teach my perspectives on these issues, but also feel
I havent earned that right.
Eventually I would learn things I could use: history and facts both shocking and heart
breaking. However, it is still all history to me; flat, dry, and dead. My experience still lacks
vitality.
***
My first week of short practicum was mildly stressful. New environments and new
people do that to me. Mrs. W is rather nice; good at making the right introductions to people. My
new students, as well, seem interested in me. One student in particular stands out, probably
because he enters the class 20 minutes late, attempting half-heartedly to hide a soccer ball sized
basket full of twizzlers. He has dark matted hair that goes past his ears and touches his eyebrows,
dark purple hoodie, and snakebite piercings in his lower lip. He slinks into a corner desk,
handing out candy as he goes.

Mrs. W calmly walks up to the student during a pause while the class is working. Good
morning! Where did you just come from Ajay?
He makes a last ditch effort to hide the basket of sweets. From Mr. As portable. Had a
talk about my attendance recently He tried very hard to not keep eye contact for too long.
Your resource worker? Well I am glad you had a talk with him. Did he give you the
basket? Mrs. W asks.
Not exactly It was in his office though.
Oh. Well youre going to go give it back to him then. Mrs. W makes an effort to collect
all the twizzlers that Ajay had been handing out generously. Most make it back into the basket.
You have two minutes to make it back here!
Could I have five? Im on native time. We do things slower. Did he just say that? Im
trying very hard not to laugh, this isnt very funny.
You have two and a half, now go Ajay. He leaves the room with most of the baskets
initial contents, but now the class is thoroughly off task and needs to be brought back to order.
During that week I see him once in the halls. He skips every class.
***
My first week at Moscrop, I visited the Special Education classroom/office/wing area. Its
entrance was a door next to the janitors closet, identical to the door to the janitors closet. The
hallway inside takes a sharp turn to the right and opens up into a big room that nobody notices is
even there but for those inside. An EA I know notices me and introduces me to the teacher in

charge of the department. I introduce myself: Hi my name is Daniel Bowes, Im a student teacher
from SFU, all the formalities. Kathy takes time during a lull to explain what they do in their
room, how teaching her students life skills takes precedence. Their enjoyment of education
comes first.
Then she asks a stout girl sitting at a nearby table (whom she calls her right hand lady)
what she did over the weekend. The girl is wearing a nondescript grey hoodie and a yellow
toque. She has long dark hair and a lovely smile.
I did wood carving! she exclaims emphatically.
No way. Did you hear that Nic? Kathy exclaims to another EA in the room, Sabrina
did wood carving at her cultural festival last weekend! Did you enjoy it?
Sabrina nods many times. It was a lot of fun, and a lot of my family was there too.
Kathy beckons Sabrina over, then points to me. This is a student teacher just starting at
Moscrop. His name is Daniel. Do you have any advice for him at this early point?
Sabrina thinks for a second. Listen to your students and what they have to say. Thats
pretty important to me.
Thats fantastic advice Sabrina, anything else for Mr. Bowes?
She thinks again. Looks at me really seriously and says, Prepare for the horror.
***
The most useful piece of information I received with regards to AbEd came during my
first Pro-D day on February 20th. I went to a seminar on new curriculum ideas, and I asked a

representative there how they felt we as educators should approach the topic of aboriginal
education and culture. She takes a moment to think and says, We arent approaching AbEd as
experts. We arent going to stand in front of our aboriginal students and teach them about their
own culture, but neither should we approach a topic and have our one student became the expert
in the room and teach it for us.
The most useful and constructive way to teach AbEd is to simply have a text or piece of
work from an Aboriginal artist or writer and let the conversation and learning gravitate naturally
around the topic. You arent going to go in front of your class and say This is my Aboriginal
Culture unit, but instead introduce a piece as a work by an Aboriginal individual, something
relevant to the text and to your class, and then make connections that way. Having an Aboriginal
perspective within your classroom is just that: a perspective. Like a Chinese perspective or
European perspective, it is merely how you look at your topic and teach it that really has to
change, and not the topic itself.
***
My SA has a collaborative period with another staff member, and I am invited to come
along. She is working with a social studies teacher to produce an eight lesson unit teaching
Aboriginal myths, and to help create the understanding that to the Aboriginal peoples, their
myths are more than just stories, but their culture, religion, and histories; all at once. Arriving
with Ali are two other student teachers (Lana and Judy) from the AbEd module at SFU to weigh
in on the unit.
One is quick to chime in after the initial pitch, they arent myths.
What?

Our stories are not myths. You said so yourself, they are our religious beliefs, our
culture, and our history. To say that these are myths, or non-factual, is to do them a disservice by
putting their authenticity in the negative. This is the biggest thing to look out for when presenting
Aboriginal culture and perspectives: how we describe them to others.
Well how would you describe them then, if not myths? asks Mrs. W.
Lana takes a moment to think about the question. I would just call them stories. Stories
dont have the same connotations as myths, dont have the same negativity. Keeping the
language neutral is rather important here because the topic is very sensitive.
Mrs. W pauses for a second to think about this and adds, this is the issue Ive been
having. Ali and I have been taking these AbEd classes at UBC for the last couple of weeks, and
while the issues were learning about should be addressed, we keep wondering if it should be us
addressing them. We just worry we wont do a good job, or that well insult someone.
Honestly, if the teachers in schools arent talking about Aboriginal culture, then who is
going to approach these subjects? If not us then who? Im just happy were talking about it now.
Anything is better than silence. To be quite frank, regarding the insult thing, it is nearly
impossible to not insult someone when it comes to this. You could have a Haida scholar come in
and do a talk about a subject relating to Aboriginal peoples, and after ten minutes someone in the
audience is already shaking their head and thinking did he (or she) really just say that?
This drew a good amount of laughter from around the table, but the point was a good one.
We cannot get too caught up in how we are going to be perceived to the point that it stops us
from engaging with complicated and difficult issues.

***
Why do we acknowledge Aboriginal land? At the start of an assembly or meeting, the
odds of hearing an acknowledgement of the Land we live on is near guaranteed. Recognizing the
Salish, Musqueam, Tsleil Waututh, and Sto:lo nations and their traditional territories upon which
we live and teach has become a requirement. As stated in the BCTF AbEd Guidebook; In the
context of Aboriginal cultures, traditional territory refers to a specific place within British
Columbia and not British Columbia itself. Over 30 Aboriginal language groups are represented
across British Columbia. Traditional territory refers to this place, the traditional language group
of the area where the event is held.
Do we recognize out of some misplaced sense of duty or guilt, like Harpers apology for
residential schools, or that maybe if we repeat it enough times well start to believe it?
Acknowledging that 110% of British Columbia is under land claim in the Supreme Court might
help raise awareness about why we choose to recognize Native Land officially, but no
explanation seems to really fit.
***
After a week and a half I finally saw Ajay again. He comes on time to my lesson about
place and community. I hand out a poem for the class to read written by a Metis youth for a
writing competition. He skims the work and just rolls his eyes when he sees the content. He
remains unusually quiet during the analysis of the poem. At the end of the reading, they seem
rather dead and turned off from schoolwork.
I decide to get them to move a bit. I get up in front of the class, Ok, you know what,
were going to do something a bit different. First, Im going to need everyone to listen to my

instructions very carefully when I come around to your group. I want everyone to look around at
their groups right now. Each group of tables is a nation, and each of you are its people. These are
your friends and family members, and you spend all your time with them. Walking over to the
first group, they seem rather overjoyed at their newfound nationhood. You know what though?
Youre kind of crowding my space in the middle here. Im going to have to ask you all to move
to that corner. Leave your desks, however, just bring whatever you think youll need to survive
over there. As they get up to move, I walk over to the next table, and you know what, youre
kind of near a river I want to dam up, youre all going to have to move over there, so on and so
forth, going around the room displacing all my students.
I eventually make my way back to my first group and look upon them disapprovingly.
Everyone can tell what Im doing now, that the dynamic has changed, but they cannot tell what
game Im playing is yet. Youre still taking up too much of my space. Form a tighter circle,
touch knees and elbows. Cmon, youre all family! Again I go around the room, taking away
even more of their space. Once more I go around to each group, this time picking someone and
taking them back to the middle of the class. These are my favorites, I explain, they get to live
with me in the middle, and they will learn how to be like me.
You mean, like, white? I hear someone ask off to the side.
Not exactly, but theyll learn to talk like me, walk like me, and think like me. Its really
for their benefit. I havent really agreed much with what they have been saying lately.
Regardless, while everyone is in place I would like you all to write something for me.
A collective gasp, you didnt tell us we would need paper! Many get up however I
remind them that they need to stay where they are now.

You left your things when you left your home. Theyre mine now, not yours. Find
someone in your group who has a sheet of paper and work together on one sheet if you have to, I
would just like to hear what some of you are feeling right now.
Confused.
Disoriented.
Angry and frustrated.
Someone finally says, this is like those things that all the aboriginal people had to go to,
right? Those schools. What were they called again?
Our group has agreed that we want you gone or dead.
Scared. You were scary
We feel very out of place. We liked it where we were.
***
I have to go see Mrs. B, the Aboriginal resource worker at the school. Ajay is failing his
English class, and three others, due to his poor attendance and lack of motivation to do his
schoolwork. I meet with her a Monday afternoon when everyone has left the school already.
Hello Mrs. B, my name is Daniel, and Im here to talk about Ajay. He has missed two
and a half of my classes, has an I for term two, and I dont know how to get through to him.
Have you had a chance to talk to him?
Mostly in passing, its rather hard to get a hold of him. Why is that?

Mostly he has never had a good role model in his whole life. He sleeps in because his
mother leaves early for work, stays up late because nobody is home, his older brother dropped
out of high school and has a substance abuse problem, his middle sister also dropped out of high
school and has an alcohol abuse problem. The only way to help him is to try and get through to
him, but honestly it looks like hes headed down a similar path.
Either way, I have to set up a meeting with him because of his grades and attendance, so
that might change soon. When you see him, try and help him, figure out with him what he has to
do to catch up and get that I report off his transcript, because otherwise he will flunk out of
grade 8.
So, uh, how should I approach this? Hes a rather flighty teenager; I dont want to scare
him away.
Just dont pressure him, thatll be my job rather soon. Hell come to you knowing he
needs to catch up on work. Just try and make him feel comfortable, and work something out with
him with which he can agree
***
As Mrs. B predicted, Ajay comes to find me after school. I finally get to talk to Ajay
more one on one as he needs to get caught up on all the classes and work that hes missed.
Well Ajay, we have been talking about our Identity as Canadians. I point to the board
where a large brainstormed map of terminologies is written in red ink. In the middle of the map
in big lettering is written Identity, around it the key terms the honors class came up with,

weve been talking about our experiences, our beliefs, our hobbies, skills, physical features,
personality, manners, morality, and how place affects our communities.
I used to live on a reserve, between Salmon Arm and Kamloops, does that count?
A bit shocked at the sudden sharing of information, Im not sure how to answer for a
second, Yes it counts, and actually, its exactly the kind of experience we have been exploring in
class. Moving away from a place you have lived affects you differently than if you had stayed
there. Think about how different you could have been if you and your family still lived there.
I cant drink, it would kill me.
What?
All they really did was drink there. I have a kidney problem, drinking alcohol would
probably cause them to shut down and I would die, or so Im told. I dont want to find out.
Oh, uh, ok. Getting back to your work for a second, here is a sheet of paper your class is
turning into a map of their identity. On it I want you to put these kinds of things from your life,
things that reflect your beliefs, hobbies, places you have been. Its open to you what you do with
this project, but I just need you to put something on it.
***
I had an interesting conversation with Lana one day. She was talking to me about an
observation that had happened with her SA recently, and she wasnt really happy with what had
been said to her.

So we sit down, we have our notes in front of us. After a bit of chatting about how the
lesson went and what I did well she looks me in the eyes and says You should really consider
acting more like an authentic Aboriginal woman. What the hell does that even mean? I grew up
on a reserve, I have full status, and I know my history and what it means to me. What more
should I be doing, and what right does someone else have to say Im doing it wrong?
Thats crazy, I say, aghast, you wouldnt say to a Chinese person, oh you dont really
eat enough rice for me to believe you associate yourself with your Chinese identity enough,
youd call me racist if I believed something like that. However, when it comes to Aboriginal
identification, its basically the norm to have that kind of scrutiny placed upon you. Blood
quantum has just made Aboriginal identity about how historically Indian you are, and not any
real sense of how aboriginal you are. When my fianc was still in school, she told me a story
about a Native artist who carved his totem poles with chainsaws and steel tools instead of this
traditional set of stone and untampered iron tools that broke and dulled very easily. He caught so
much flak for not carving totem poles in the traditional way, and he just said, if my ancestors
had had the choice between chainsaws and steel axes and their traditional tools, they would have
taken one look at the chainsaw and never gone back.
Its crazy to expect a people to assimilate to the greater population, and then penalize
them every time they try, both by the government and their own people.
***
While Ajay maintained a solid attendance during the week and a half before spring break,
his engagement still flagged continuously. When it came time to write a reflective essay at the
end of the unit, he seemed at a loss for ways to describe his life. A large aspect of the essay was

to reflect on how we engage with the experiences in our lives. I quietly asked him, do you
engage much with your Aboriginal family history or culture? You told me before that you used to
live on a res, do you feel this has affected your life much?
Not really, Ajay answers quickly and monotonously, we left when I was 6, I dont
remember much from that time.
Well, Mrs. W said that after school you go to events sponsored by the Sharing Circle.
Clearly you participate a bit.
I just go to those meetings because I have to. Mrs. B thinks its good for me.
Well what about at home, do any of your family members engage with your familys
history?
My Gran I guess. She lives with us. She mostly just tells stories a lot.
Stories about what Ajay? I might be on to something here.
About animals mostly. She wont shut up about eagles and salmon. She complains a lot
about my cousin as well.
Do you talk a lot with your Gran about this?
Not really. I dont really listen to her. Dammit. Is that bad? Guess its not really a nice
thing to say, but I guess its true. I just tend to ignore her.