Jessica Ayala

Personal Change Proposal

COMM 2100-400: Interpersonal Communication
Date: 07/06/2015

Goal:
To be more assertive when I am talking to people. I will strive to stand up for myself, and be
open to expressing myself more.
Rationale:
Being other-oriented does not mean letting people intimidate or take advantage of you. It also
does not mean answering to aggressive mistreatment by being aggressive yourself. Assertiveness and
aggressiveness are two different things. (Beebe, Pg.179). I tend to feel intimidated and insecure when
someone is talking to me in an aggressive tone. Instead of standing up for my own rights and feelings, I
retreat and just take an avoidant approach to the situation.
Not being assertive comes feeling insecure in my ability to express myself, and by avoiding the
conflict and essentially let people talk down to me, I leave feeling more frustrated with myself than the
person who mistreated me. This is especially true in my work. I am a manager at a food company and I
deal with customers on a daily basis, people with all kinds of personalities. There are many occasions
that people have a problem and rather than talk to me about it, they explode at me and are very
aggressive in the way they talk to me. Instead of asking them not to talk they way that they are to me so
I can fix their complaint, I retreat and avoid the conflict by continuing to allow them to mistreat me. I
would like to be more assertive and expressive with my feelings.
Strategies:
By the time that my Personal Change Report is due, I will express myself in ways that I am not
insecure or afraid to stand up for myself when being mistreated.
1. Describe (Beebe, 181). The first thing I will need to do is describe the situation. For example
when people as swearing at me because one of my employees took their order wrong I will
describe to them that it is not okay to express their frustration at me in this way. I will be calm

as I use confidence to describe the problem.

2. Disclose (Beebe,181). The second step is to disclose my feelings. I need to express to the
customer that I understand their frustration and I want to help them but when they are
approaching me in the aggressive manner that they are it makes me feel uncomfortable.
3. Identify Effects (Beebe,182). The third step I need to take is to identify the effects of their
behaviors. I will explain to the customer that when they are taking their frustration out on me
which makes me feel uncomfortable than it deters me from helping them. I can do much better
at my job if they could explain the problem to me and than give me an opportunity to make it
right without taking another employees mistakes out on me.
4. Be Silent (Beebe, 182). The fourth step that I need to take is to be silent and wait. After I am
described, disclosed, and explained the effects their aggressive behavior has on me I need to
wait for their response. While I am doing this I need to be aware of my nonverbal behavior,
making sure that it matches with my verbal behavior.
5. Paraphrase (Beebe,182-183). The last step that I need to take to being more assertive is to
paraphrase content as well as feelings. If the customer understands why yelling at me and
treating me bad over an problem with their order that can be solved by simply remaking it right
if given the chance, than I can paraphrase that understanding to them. If they do not respond
and continue to be aggressive towards me I can explain to them that how they are treating me is
not acceptable and paraphrase what I feel when they treat me this way. As well as paraphrase
the customers feelings. I understand that you are frustrated that your order was taken wrong.
Implementation:
I will initiate these strategies on my next work shift tomorrow. I will maintain my
professionalism but maintain my integrity by being secure enough in myself to stand up for myself
when a customer is to aggressive with me. I will keep track of situations that would require me to be
assertive and how well I used the five strategies that I talked about, as well as the results of using such
strategies.
The ways I can track my progress is really self reliant, I know that right now I feel very

discouraged with myself because not being assertive or confident communicating when I am being
approached in an aggressive manner has made me feel insecure in my communication abilities. The
more I improve and get better at being assertive the more confident I will feel in myself as far as
communicating my feelings.

Works Cited:
Beebe S., Beebe. S, & Redmond M. (2014). Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others
(7th ed.). Boston: Pearson Publishers.