Te-Erika Patterson Spring 2008 Counseling Theories- Final Presentation

Barry University
Frustrated in your relationship?

Feeling Lonely?

Confused about your sexual identity?

Desperately seeking inner peace?

Are you searching for a REAL LOVE?

Join me in a quest for REAL LOVE, from the inside out!

Embrace Your Fantasy

With Te-Erika

Thank you for joining us here on Embrace Your Fantasy with Te-Erika

This week we will be speaking with two couples who are having issues in their

relationship and want our help.

Our first couple is Joanie and Matt. They are both in their late twenties and living

together and they say they are not in a rush to get married. They have been together for 5

years and recently finished graduate school. Joanie is a 2nd grade teacher and Matt is an

engineer.

A round of applause as we welcome Joanie and Matt to the program, please.

Te-Erika: Welcome Joanie. Welcome Matt.

Te-Erika Patterson Spring 2008 Counseling Theories- Final Presentation
Barry University

Joanie: Hello Te-Erika.

Matt: Hi Te-Erika. Thanks for having us.

Te-Erika: We are pleased that you have joined us. Our staff tells us that you have an issue

that you have been trying to resolve for the past 6 months. Would you mind telling us

about it?

Joanie: Well…Matt here has a little problem.

Matt: Oh so it’s MY problem? It’s me? Thanks Joanie.

Joanie: Well, it IS your problem. I have nothing to do with it.

Matt: This is the issue. Well…Joanie and I haven’t been..you know.. Having sex lately.

She says it’s because I’m working too much but I don’t think that’s it. I think it’s because

she’s not interested in experimenting with me. After five years I’m tired of the same old
Te-Erika Patterson Spring 2008 Counseling Theories- Final Presentation
Barry University
thing but when I try to get her to get a little free with me, she declines and starts

complaining that I’m treating her like a whore.

Te-Erika: Joanie. Do you have a response to that? What’s your perspective?

Joanie: Well Te-Erika. Matt is the love of my life but he works over 60 hours a week.

When I do see him, I want to do things like go out on dates or cuddle and watch TV. He

doesn’t want to go out, he just wants to have sex. And then he had the nerve to bring a

plastic penis into bed with us one night. He had to sleep on the couch that night! I’m not

one of his porn stars!

Which theory can we use to help this couple redirect their expectations and actions

regarding this issue?

Suggestion: Solution Focused approach

Characteristics of Solution Focused Approach

 Solution-focused brief therapy teaches you that if you do more of what has

produced results in the past, a general improvement is likely.

 Identifying of exceptions
Te-Erika Patterson Spring 2008 Counseling Theories- Final Presentation
Barry University
 The “Miracle Question” – If you woke up tomorrow knowing that a miracle had

occurred, what would you see around you that would let you know that your

miracle happened?

 Instead of talking about what you don’t want, identify what you DO want.

Class Participation: The class suggested that the couple revisit their most rewarding

intimate encounter and try to recreate that event. The class also suggested that they

communicate their ideals surrounding their expectations for sexual pleasure and come to

a compromise.

Now let’s meet Yolanda and Joseph. Yolanda and Joe are newly weds in their mid 30’s.

They have been dating for 3 years and have one child. Yolanda is a nurse and Joe is a

musician. Joe has a daughter from a previous relationship and it seems the stress of

having a child outside of their marriage is taking a toll on their relationship.

Te-Erika: Let’s welcome Yolanda and Joseph to the program, everyone!

Te-Erika Patterson Spring 2008 Counseling Theories- Final Presentation
Barry University

Yolanda: Hello Te-Erika.

Joe: Hi Te-Erika. Wow. You’re prettier in person.

Yolanda: Boy! Don’t try me on TV!

Te-Erika: You have a beautiful family! How are things on the home front?

Yolanda: Things are going just fine. We’re working through our first year and it’s been a

bit of an adjustment but we both know that we love each other and we want this to work.

The only problem is, Joe doesn’t let me into his life entirely. Sometimes he’s upset and he

won’t tell me why. Then weeks later he’ll tell me about some drama he’s had with his

daughter’s mother. I feel that if he really wanted us to have a completely open

relationship, he would share this part of himself too. Sometimes it makes me feel as

though he’s hiding other parts of his life from me too.

Te-Erika: Joe. Is this an accurate depiction? What is happening from your perspective?

Joe: I keep telling Yolanda that I’m fine. Yes, I do have issues with my daughter’s mother,

but I don’t feel that I should burden Yolanda with them. I’m a man and as a man I’m

supposed to protect my woman from the world, besides, my issues with Chevelle’s Mom

has nothing to do with us.

Te-Erika Patterson Spring 2008 Counseling Theories- Final Presentation
Barry University
Yolanda: Yes they do. When she makes you upset, you bring it home to me! Sometimes I

feel like your relationship with her is more important than ours!

Which approach would you use to help this situation? Gauge your ability to help by

answering these questions?

 What do you think is the problem?

 What would you say to Yolanda and Joe to help them to communicate more

effectively?

 How would you lead them into a more productive discussion?

Class Participation: The class discussed a variety of approaches including the Family

Centered Approach- Which invites the entire family to sit down and discuss their needs as

a unit, rather than individually. When the family is able to communicate their emotions

and how they affect them as a unit, the respect they have for each other’s feelings will

cause them to behave differently.