From Enemies by Maxim Gorky

TATIANA
This place is oppressive. Everythings crumbling, it makes my head spin in the
strangest way. One has to tell lies, and I dont like doing that. But Ive just told
a lie - I said Id talk to Nadya about hiding something - shed have agreed, too.
But Ive no right to start her on that road. Those people do sometimes take
liberties. Its all so strange. Not long ago life was so clear and simple, one could
see what one wanted. I did once think that on the stage my feet were planted
in solid ground That I might grow ta.. But now its all so painful - I feel
uncomfortable up there in front of those people, with their cold eyes saying,
Oh, we know all that, its old, its boring! I feel weak and defenseless in front
of them, I cant capture them, I cant excite them I long to tremble in front of
them with fear, with joy, to speak words full of fire and passion an danger,
words that cut like knives, that burn like torches I want to throw armfuls of
words, throw them bounteously, abundantly, terrifyingly So that people are
set alight by them and shout aloud, and turn to flee from them And then Ill
stop them. Toss them different words. Words beautiful as flowers. Words full of
hope and joy and love. And theyll all be weeping, and I"ll weep too wonderful
tears. They applaud. Smother me with flowers. Bear me up on their shoulders.
For a moment - I hold sway over them all life is there, in that one moment, all
of life, in a single moment. Everything thats best is always in a single moment.
How I long for people to be different - more responsive, less careful - and for
life to be different, not all hustle and bustle, a life in which art is needed,
always, by everybody, all the time! So I could stop feeling totally
superfluous