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Updated: December 1, 2015, 1:00 PM ET

Ada, Ohio- Its that time of year again, as the EMC Football game is set to kick off next
weekend. With the graduation of Jeff Denny, it appears that this years game will be much more
competitive than last years game. The ONU cross country team brought in a large freshman
class this year, and our scouts didnt do a very good job because we do not know what most of
them are capable of. Their rankings are based mostly off gut feelings and the few times from
Player
Pos.
School
camp and basketball. This team is getting too damn big for
1. Bobby Borger
QB/MLB Perrysburg
these rankings. Im sorry that the quality isnt as good as the
2. Sam Boyd
RB/DT
West Holmes
past but I dont have time for this shit. Also, I was handed
3. William Huddleston
WR/S
Benzie Central
4. Alec Lunney
WR/S
Berea-Midpark
down these rankings quietly at senior wills last year and Im
5. Matthew Ernstes
C/DE
Moeller
not as good at this stuff.

1. Bobby Borger- Bobby has a good arm that he

developed in high school baseball. He probably cares
more about this game than anyone else on the team
besides maybe Logan. He should be the number one
quarterback on game day.

2. Sam Boyd- Sam Boyd had a crucial fumble to

start the game last year, but he made up for it by going
beast mode. With RVal permanently gone to subway,
were not sure who can tackle Sam now. Were pretty
sure he carries boulders for a living

3. William Huddleston- He didnt play great last

year but we would bet that he returns to his regular
form. Hes a seasoned veteran. Actually, wed
compare him to 2015 Peyton Manning with the
unknowns on his back and arm. If he cant throw, he
has great hands.

4. Alec Lunney- Lunney tries harder than anyone

on the team, he may have been the MVP last year.
This was probably due to the fact that the other team
didnt realize that he was legit. He walks with the
swagger of Usain Bolt, so well see if he brings the
talent.

6. Logan Perry

WR/S

Big Walnut

7. Jonathan Wherry

LG/DT

Neshannock

8. Joey Muscarella

LT/DE

Fairview

9. Tyler Kennedy

WR/S

Canfield

10.Dom Solis

RG/DT

Upper Sandusky

11. Ian Klever

TE/OLB

Tuslaw

12. Ian Mckee

QB/MLB Medina

13. Eric Wymer

WR/CB

14. Kase Schalois

WR/OLB Van Wert

15. Ian Trau

C/DT

Lakota West

16. Eric Collins

RG/DT

Strongsville

17. Cameron Rusnak

RG/OLB

Open Door Christian

18. Aaren Hemmelgarn

RT/OLB

Saint Henry

19. Adam Berry

RB/OLB

Hawken

20. Matt Molinaro

RB/CB

DeLaSalle

21. Michael Murray

LT/DE

Strongsville

22. Austin Davenport

WR/MLB Western

23. Collin Kemnar

RT/OLB

Adrian

24. John McNutt

LT/DT

Lakeside

25. Dustin Lumadue

RT/OLB

Lexington

26. Andrew Harden

WR/S

Butler

27. Dan Sowa

C/DE

Shaler Area

28. Ian McVey

C/DE

Stow

29. Spencer Shulze

WR/CB

St. Henry

Van Buren

30.Chester Swartzmiller TE/OLB

Hopewell-Loudon

31.Alex Wood

WR/S

Hopewell-Loudon

32. Collin Shaver

RG/DE

Hopewell-Loudon

33. Cully Gordon

WR/OLB West Holmes

34. Andrew Kurtz

WR/S

Saint Johns

35. Evan Murtha

WR/S

Pickerington North

36. Jake Gallaher

RB/OLB

Teays Valley

37. Michael Potter

QB/OLD Waterford

5. Matthew Ernstes- Matt may be the neutralizing force needed to stop Sam Boyd.
6.
7.

Hes a freak, just look at the picture in next to White Bear. We think that he is in for a
great senior campaign. He is the best kick returner in the EMC
Logan Perry- Logan may have played football in high school, but this isnt high
school football. This is the real deal! He can be a dynamic wide receiver but TK seemed
to shut him down last year.
Jon Wherry- Wherry has grown on us every year and we think that his football
skills have improved as he has gotten faster. Make sure there are no pull-up bars in sight,
(or engaged women).
Joey Muscarella- He may have stopped running but Joey still has diabetes.

8.
9. Tyler Kennedy- Tyler took a punch to the face and it didnt even phase him. Hes

basically a badass. Last year, he dropped approximately 50 interceptions so we hope that

he learned how to catch or brings some stickum.
10.
Dom Solis- Dom has been getting across important lines since he was a child.
Hand him the ball and hes gonna find a way. He is our top freshman but just remember
that we believe that this is weakest freshman class that the EMC football game has ever
witnessed.
11.
Ian Klever- Klever is lights out at pong and that is about all the athletic skill
we have seen. He also has size that is important on such a frail team. We wouldnt be
surprised if he was wearing his shark costume.
12.
Ian McKee- Ian has a cannon for an arm. He kept his cool last year and it
payed off for him. Unfortunately it doesnt sound like he will be able to play
13.
Eric Wymer- He subbed in for Kase last year and played average. He could
be a playmaker at times. Slymer is slippery to tackle. Hide yo Sistas
14.
Kase Schalois- Kase would be a lot higher but he faked an injury last year
and probably wont play this year because of it. His hurdling skills are one hunna
15.
Ian Trau- Hes been bulking up all year for this game. Well see what kind of
shape he is in if he plays. We believe that there is 69% chance that he will be involved in
an altercation if he plays.
16.
Eric Collins- Collins is practically a football player with that man bun. He
complained that nobody ranked him high last year, so here you go Eric. Youre top half
now, will you please play?
17.
Cameron Rusnak- Cam is the fattest kid on the team, so obviously hes
valuable. If you saw him at any of the pasta dinners this year you would know why he
maintains this title. Hes also the most athletic kid on the team so we probably should
have ranked him higher.
18.
Aaren Hemmelgarn- Lanky and wants everyone to believe that hes a
badass. Hell probably be busy eating some peach pie.
19.
Adam Berry- He will probably be out for revenge on Trau and is the most
likely to be the one that gets in the altercation with Trau.

20.

Matt Molinaro- Molinaro has the speed but hell probably be having fun

with A. Thurnall like Lunney said. Lets be honest, he just doesnt want to mess up his
hair or sweat.
21.
Michael Murray- We would suggest that Murray is suspended from this
years game after he injured several people last year. You could even call him a ballhawk after he tackled Will by the dick last year. He does have talent however.
22.
Austin Davenport Shit head #1- He may have had Mono but that wont
stop him from vaping. It might stop him from playing in the game though.
23.
Collin Kemnar- Another kid from *ichigan. He probably will be as good as
the players from TTUN this past weekend. He seems to have the elusiveness that scouts
are looking for.
24.
John McNutt- John has lost a ton of weight in the last year and we want to
take the chance to congratulate you on that. That weight loss however dropped him down
the rankings.
25.
Dustin Lumadue- Lumadue is our dark horse pick. We believe that he is
sneaky player that a team can get late in the draft.
26.
Andrew Harden- Harden caught an interception for a touchdown last year
with his goalie gloves on. It's the quirky things like this that are holding Harden down in
the rankings. If he focused on the game he would be much higher in our rankings.
27.
Dan SowaPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
NNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSS! Hes not the most athletic or biggest guy on the team but at least Sowa
can yell car back when needed.
28.
Ian McVey- He had a great season in cross country but we are afraid that this
wont carry through to the gridiron. He says hes good at futbol but thats not important.
Maybe he can kick a field goal or something. Mark Bertons records better watch out if
he plays.
29.
Spencer Shulze- We suggest that one of the teams should be neon colors
and the other black. If neither team wears neon. Were pretty sure Spencer wouldnt show
up to play. Hes got the length to be a playmaker.
30.
Chester Swartzmiller Shithead #2- Most likely individual to fill in for
Jeff Denny. After saying that, I dont know why we ranked him so high.
31.
Alex Wood Shithead #3- Hes kind of like Barchalk in the way that hes
super frail.
32.
Collin Shaver- Shaver is a great kid but we arent sure how much he would
help a team.
33.
Cully Gordon- He would be a lot higher but just the thought of playing
football might break some of his bones. He would probably be wearing jeans that didnt
fit even if he did play.

34.

Andrew Kurtz- He might break out some karate or something, but hell

probably be doing stuff with Enya.

35.
Evan Murtha- Hell probably be doing chemistry or writing up one of his
residents or something.
36.
Jake Gallaher- Jake is too nice to hurt anyone and hes drowning in
bitches.
37.
Michael Potter- Potter is so old that he was alive when the first super bowl
was played. As you can see by Peyton Mannings season or post-Packers Brett Favre, that
doesnt translate well.

MVP- Whoever hits Lunney the hardest- Who ranks themselves first?!
Rookie of the Year- Ian Trau- He has to have freshman eligibility in one of the
sports, right? And this freshman class just lacks football talent from what weve seen