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Four summers ago I spent my entire summer living on the shores of Lake Sebago in the

middle of the woods in Maine. This was my first time going away from home for the entire
summer, and I was nervous and rather mad about going away. I was nervous because I didnt
know anybody who was going to camp. I was also mad at my parents for abandoning me in the

Ali Preston 12/8/2015 12:02 PM


Comment [1]: This essay is a work of
expressionism, which Fulkerson talks about in
his article. I know that I really enjoyed writing
this essay because I felt like I had more
freedom to be able to talk about myself and
something that I am incredibly passionate
about.

middle of the woods far from home without any form of communication other than snail mail.
The day my parents dropped me off at Camp Wohelo I was completely bewildered by the
entire idea of what was about to happen. As the day went on, however, I became more familiar
with the camp and started to make friends. I also found that surprisingly I had starting thinking to
myself that maybe spending the summer in Maine wouldnt be so bad after all. My cabin had the
best view of the lake of any of the cabins in camp. My cabin, Loons, sat right above the dock
looking out over the entire lake at night we would sit out on the dock and watch the sunset.
Sailing became one of my favorite activities at camp. I took sailing classes and even
joined the racing team. Toward the end of the summer, Wohelo was hosting one of the biggest

Ali Preston 11/29/2015 4:07 PM


Comment [2]: I would make this two
sentences. I would put a period after lake. And
then maybe talk about the sunsets and how
they looked reflected on the water.

sailing regattas. I had been working hard all summer to be able to sail in this regatta. I wanted to
sail in it more than anything because being chosen to sail in our regatta was a huge honor. All of
us had all been working hard to prove that we should be the ones to sail and represent our camp.
The night of the selections of what crews would sail in the regatta came. We all gathered
nervously in the meeting building as the counselors announced the skippers and the crews for the
regatta. Two by two they called off names. They halfway through and my name still hadnt been
called. I was beginning to get even more nervous. The counselors were down to the last two
names, and those of us who had not been called were sitting on the edge of our seats. First, the
counselors announced who would be the skipper. After that they announced the crew, and that is

Ali Preston 11/29/2015 4:08 PM


Comment [3]: I forgot to add were

when I heard my name. I was so proud of myself and really felt as if I had accomplished
something.
The next day was the day of the regatta. When I woke up I could already hear the wind

Ali Preston 11/29/2015 4:18 PM


Comment [4]: I would use an exclamation
point to help emphasize how excited I really
was.

howling and knew it was going to be a very windy day for sailing. Getting out of bed I looked
across the lake; everywhere I looked the lake was covered in mini white capped waves. The lake
looked angry as if it was teasing us, daring us to try to keep our boats from capsizing while
sailing. My race wasnt until the end of the day. I sat on the beach and watched as countless
people from different camps capsized and broke boats. By the time my race was about to start, I
was so nervous that I was starting to feel a little sick. I knew my skipper was one of the best, but
I was unsure about whether the combined weight of the two of us would be enough to keep the
boat from capsizing. As soon as the race started, however, I calmed down a little and began to
trust my skipper and our sailing ability. Going around the last buoy we were in second place,
fighting to keep our position. Although we ended up losing our place, we still had fun, and we
learned to trust each other and ourselves. We also learned that in life challenges may appear out
of nowhere causing us to lose ground, but these are something we need to learn to cope with and
recover from.
At camp, I learned to try new things and to control my fear. Camp also helped me to learn
to adjust to different situations. It taught me to use what I know and to depend on myself for
things. Moreover, the experience helped me to become more independent. I think that camp also
really helped me to be able to deal with changing schools to Lancaster Country Day for my
freshman year. Although I still did have a few challenges adjusting to the major change and new
situation, prior to going to camp I would have taken longer to adjust and become happy in my
new situation. Abandoning me at Wohelo was the best thing my parents could have done for

Ali Preston 11/29/2015 4:10 PM


Comment [5]: That might be my only every
use of a semicolon in a paper. I never really
learned how to use them in school, so I never
feel comfortable using them.
Ali Preston 11/29/2015 4:21 PM
Comment [6]: I LOVE THIS SENTENCE! I
think this is one of the strongest sentences
that I have ever written. It really gets the point
across and creates a picture of how horrifying
that lake looked that morning. Also, I was
convinced that there was a lake monster, so I
really didnt want to capsize my boat.
Ali Preston 11/29/2015 4:11 PM
Comment [7]: Our boats were really old
and easy to break. They looked like giant
floating bathtubs.
Ali Preston 11/29/2015 4:12 PM
Comment [8]: In my original essay, I talked
about how we lost our place, but I had to edit
it out to make it shorter for the college essay. I
wish I could find that draft.
Somebody hit our boat and refused to take
their penalty, which is how we ended up
getting third.
Ali Preston 12/8/2015 12:04 PM
Comment [9]: Not having enough room to
get your point across is incredibly frustrating,
especially when you are trying to give
somebody a glimpse of yourself. However,
because I was writing for a specific audience I
had to follow their guidelines.

me. I learned that meeting new people and being thrown into new situations isnt a bad thing; its
just part of life. Wohelo helped prepare me to face new situations like transferring to Lancaster
Country Day School, starting my job as a lifeguard and swim instructor, or going off to college
with confidence.

*This is my favorite piece of writing that I have ever done. I feel like my voice as a
writer really started to come out in the essay. The original intent was to write a personal
narrative about any topic that we wanted to. This was originally written during my sophomore
year of high school, but them edited during my senior year to use as my college essay. There
are some aspects of this essay that I would do differently now, however I still absolutely love
this personal narrative and I am very proud of it.

Ali Preston 12/8/2015 11:57 AM


Comment [10]: I used a second one! Even
though Williams does not agree with
traditional grammar instruction, sometimes I
wish I had been given more of it. That way I
might have a better handle on some confusing
punctuation.

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