Chachula

Lauren Chachula
Mr. Beadle
English 115
Sept. 17th, 2015
Like Father Like Son, Like Mother Like Daughter

Nowadays, we as a community constantly categorize things in order to feel more

comfortable and understand where certain things fall into place. Since we are animals, we take
the challenging of this ideal seriously and even become defensive of it. For example, when
people such as transgender or genderless are involved people tend to stray away due to the
fact that it borders on the line of what is seen as normal or accepted. This lack of
understanding has to do with the fact that gender is categorized into only two groups, male or
female and the people who dont fit in either category are seen as outcasts. But, when did we
start acting this way? When did we start categorizing things such as gender? And why do we
connect certain objects and things to a specific gender? All these questions can be answered
through one common mean, ones upbringing. We can relate most of our values based on how
we are raised and treated by our parents and what they tell us is right for our gender category,
such as toys, clothing, or even behavior and reaction, versus what is not. This poses a problem
because since children are so easily influenced, they follow what their parents tell them is
acceptable for a child of their gender rather then being able to determine their own inferences
about what they like, rather then what their gender category tells them to like. I can relate to this
in that this ideal was quite similar to my own childhood experience. My parents bought me
certain toys such as Barbie dolls, and pretend cooking appliances. Likewise, this ideal is evident

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in both from Women, Men, and Society by Claire Renzetti and Daniel Curran and No Way My
Boys Are Going to Be Like That: Parents Responses to Childrens Gender Nonconformity. by
Emily W. Kane.
Moreover, the way parents treat children can play a major role in how the child views not
only themselves but others according to gender. This idea is supported when research shows
that parents do have different expectations of their babies and treat them differently, simply on
the basis of sex (Renzetti & Curran, 76). This can harm the baby unintentionally because then
the children are victim to discrimination by their own parents just based on the childs sex and
thus shapes the childs idea of gender from what they personally believe, to what society
believes. This, in turn, creates a storm within the child on not knowing whether to act how they
want to, or, instead, act how they are suppose to. Some parents feel they show their children
that they are open and treat each child equally despite gender but Despite their claims, even
most parents who see themselves as egalitarian tend to provide their children with different
experiences and opportunities and to respond to them differently on the basis of sex.
Consequently, the children cannot help but conclude that sex is an important social category
(Renzetti & Curran, 81-82). Children eagerly crave the acceptance from their parents and
therefore will blindly follow their parents beliefs in order to maintain peace in the home. They
would rather keep quiet about how they view themselves then risk parental and societal
abnegation.
Additionally, Clothingplays a significant part in gender socialization (Renzetti &
Curran, 77). By dressing a child in certain colors and types of clothing, such as blue pants for
boys, and pink skirt for girls, we are making a representation that boys can not wear pink skirts
because they are for girls and vice versa. This causes the child to be treated differently because

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clothing and color is a signifier for whether a child is a boy or girl. It is the way we identify the
difference between the two genders, because at such a young age it is hard to tell what gender a
child is without using the clothing signifier and acceptable societal color scheme. By dressing
children in specific clothing and colors based on gender rather than letting them dress themselves
we are unintentionally placing a gender role and sparking the idea within the childs mind that
this is acceptable for my gender. It causes children to not be able to express themselves how
they truly want to, due to the fear of being judged by society for stepping out of their categorical
box. It also causes children to not be able to determine how they want to view themselves and
what gender they correlate with.
Furthermore, this influence of gender role is also seen through specific toys being
targeted towards a specific gender. By doing this, one can not help but bring up the question
Are different types of toys training girls and boys for separate (and unequal) roles as adults?
(Renzetti & Curran, 80). One can easily say no because parents let children choose what to play
with, however the answer could just as easily be yes because although parents let children play
with different toys, when a child plays with a toy that is not meant for their gender such as a
boy playing with a girl toy , [Parents] acceptance [of sons playing with girl toys are]
tempered for many parents by negative responses to any interest in what [Kane] will refer to as
feminine items, attributes, or activities, as well as parental concern about homosexuality (Kane,
92). This lack of enthusiasm and caution from parents to not cross over the gender role toy line
causes children to not want to stray from gender norms due to fear of non-acceptance and less
love from their parents.
To add, this fear of non-acceptance from parents can be represented in that parents
expectations of children can cause the children to have a distorted understanding on what it

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means to be a certain gender. It was stated that Along with material markers of femininity,
many parents expressed concern about excessive emotionality (especially frequent crying) and
passivity in their sons (Kane, 94). This shows that by reacting a certain way towards their sons,
the parents in Kanes article are creating a false ideal in the childrens head that boys dont
cry/shouldnt cry. By the parents placing this expectation on their sons, the sons then view
showing emotion to be linked to the female gender which is in no way a limitation to one gender.
Also, with these icons of feminine gender performance, and arguably directly linked to them, is
the other clear theme evident among some parents negative responses to perceived
nonconformity on the part of their sons: fear that son either would be or would be perceived as
gay (Kane, 95). Due to fearing that their sons will turn out gay parents are cautionary on how
they act towards children, clothe their children, and what toys they provide for their children. By
doing this the parents are inadvertently causing the kids to remain within their gender role rather
then venture out and choose how they feel each gender should be viewed, and what roles the
child feels each gender should play without influence of outside forces.
In Contrast, I can relate to this because my own childhood was affected by my parents
ideals and views of gender. I was given toys seen as appropriate for my gender based on societal
preferences such as Barbie dolls, baby dolls, and plastic cooking appliances. My parents also
dressed me in certain colors such as pink or purple. Being so young, it was absorbed in my mind
that those specific toys and colors were only appropriate for girls. Thus I was wired to like those
things because that was what all the girls in my school had been taught as acceptable opposed to
boys. The boys had action figures, items colored blue and green, and video games. I myself had
fun playing video games but since they werent portrayed as a girl thing and my parents
werent too enthusiastic about me playing them I started to stray from them. I have now come to

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the conclusion that gender is just a word and shouldnt define ones likes or dislikes. I play
videogames quite regularly and although they are not advertised for girls as they are boys, I dont
let society nor my parents stop me from enjoying them.
In summation, the human race seems to find balance in categorizing everything, such as
gender roles as it is in our nature to do so. How children as individuals perceive gender is based
on the influence of the childs parents by the clothing they provide the child, the toys they allow
the child to play with, and how the parent teaches the child how they should behave and react to
certain situations based on their gender. By playing such a major role in ones upbringing,
parents dont realize that the different actions they take based on a childs gender, can affect the
childs view of not only their specific gender but the opposing as well. A child cannot be
themselves and make their own ideas on gender because of parental and societal pressure of how
both genders are suppose to be. This view is visible in both from Women, Men, and Society by
Claire Renzetti and Daniel Curran and No Way My Boys Are Going to Be Like That: Parents
Responses to Childrens Gender Nonconformity. by Emily W. Kane. These ideas and views
from parents and society all play a part in the makeup of gender roles in a childs development.
But since society influences the parent who influences the child, does society need to changes its
view on gender roles, or do the parents? Until that question is answered, there will be minimal
long lasting change in the perception of gender definition.

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Works Cited
Groner, Rachel, and John F. O'Hara. "Chapter 2/How Do We Become Boys and Girls?"
Composing Gender: A Bedford Spotlight Reader. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin's, 2014. 76-87.
Print.
Groner, Rachel, and John F. O'Hara. "Chapter 2/How Do We Become Boys and Girls?"
Composing Gender: A Bedford Spotlight Reader. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin's, 2014. 91-98.
Print.
Renzetti, Claire M., and Daniel J. Curran. Women, Men, and Society. Boston: Allyn and Bacon,
1999. Print.
Kane, E. W. ""No Way My Boys Are Going to Be Like That!": Parents' Responses to Children's
Gender Nonconformity." Gender & Society 20.2 (2006): 149-76. Web.