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Ashley White
Professor Scaife
Comp 1 8:00
18 August 2015

Torn by my parents divorce

Divorce isnt such a tragedy. A tragedys staying in an unhappy marriage,

teaching your children the wrong things about love. Nobody ever died of divorce. This
is a quote by Jennifer Weiner, an author. Divorce means different things for different
people. Opinions of those who havent witnessed this such thing will be totally different
from those who have. I have witnessed this, and I say it is just an easy way out for
those who are tired of each other. People are getting married earlier than they should,
not taking long enough to get to know each other, and having children before marriage.
To me, all of these factors are important when it comes to marriage.
My parents jumped into their marriage when my mom was pregnant with me.
They stayed together and had four kids, one being from my dads ex-wife. We all grew
up together and everything was great for a while. When I was ten years old, our parents
decided to move us to a new house and a new school, which you know had us jumping
for joy! (Sarcasm) My sister, Nikki, was a senior and high school and was going through
a phase. She snuck boys in the house, captivated herself in her room, and blared her
loud Panic at the Disco music, which just so happened to be an early alarm clock for
my brother and I. It was annoying teenage stuff, but it was routine for my chaotic little
Ashley White

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Professor Scaife
Comp 1 8:00
18 August 2015

family. Every morning, we would wake up, argue about how the music was too loud,
lose the argument, get dressed, and go to school. My mom and dad both worked all
day, every day. My dad worked as assistant manager at subway (lousy, I know), and my
mom worked as manager for two daycares. They both worked hard for us and it was
amazing.
In March that year, things started getting tense. Dad lost his job, Nikki turned into
even more of a trouble maker, and mom was acting odd. Dad started to discipline me
more, sometimes for something as silly as getting a four instead of a five on my report
from school. I remember coming home and getting the stinging throb of the paddle to
my butt. He even had a paddle designed for me, its like he enjoyed disciplining me.
April swung around the corner, and so did mom. She sat us down in the living
room and she told us she was pregnant. I remember how angry and disgusted I was,
because at this point in life, I knew how babies were made and I just couldnt fathom the
thought. Everyone else seemed happy about it, but my dad started drifting away. He
would sit out in the garage, no matter what the weather was like, and play video games
with his friend, which we called uncle. I guess he just stopped wanting to be around us.
This was hard on everyone and was the basis of my parents arguments.

Ashley White
Professor Scaife

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Comp 1 8:00
18 August 2015

On October first, my little sister, Mary, was born and things were looking up.She
was an adorable little sister, even though she looked like a bald boy as a baby. She had
huge blue eyes and smelled of baby shampoo, and mom always had her hooked onto
her side, smiling. Despite how mad I was when I found out my mom was pregnant, I
loved my tiny, whiney sister. My dad started coming around a bit more, which I enjoyed.
Dad and I would play basketball, which was our favorite thing to do. He even helped
coach the team, which I thought was weird, but I loved having him around again.
Basketball was the best way for us to bond. He encouraged me and came to every
game I played, no matter what. Nikki was working at Sonic, getting money for college,
and coming home smelling like tater tots and ice cream. My dad introduced video
games to my brother, which he plays nonstop to this day. Life was actually coming
around for us..
Around June, things started going downhill. Mary started aspirating, which meant
every time she had a bottle, it went to her lungs instead of her stomach. She was in and
out of the hospital 24/7, especially the Emergency Room. The hospital was always full
of people, whether they were hovering over the counter, wanting to be seen, or waiting
on loved ones. The waiting room air was full of the smell of latex and rubbing alcohol. I
remember laying there for hours waiting on the news with my brother. I cannot count
Ashley White
Professor Scaife
Comp 1 8:00

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18 August 2015

how many times my sister was hospitalized for Pneumonia and infections from her tube
that fed her. She started off with a tube in her nose that went directly to her stomach.
When she couldnt stop yanking that out, they put a tube directly in her stomach, which
she now has a scar from. My dad, by the way, was never there, even though he was
never busy. My nana flew out from California to be there for my mom when she needed
someone most. Let me tell you, she went off on my father for the stuff he put my mom
through at the time.
In July, the trouble between my parents spiraled out of control. I remember lying
in bed, listening to them scream all night. Why are you never there for me? Why do you
always come up with some stupid excuse?! My mom would yell. My brother would
stumble into my room late at night, complaining about how he couldnt sleep. He would
turn up my music, flop down on the floor, and sleep in there with me. We were really
tired of hearing the same argument every single night.
On August 1, 2008, my dad left, without even saying goodbye. Nothing hurt as
bad as that did and nothing ever will. The routine within the family changed drastically.
Nikki ended up moving out and I had to step into her shoes of responsibility. Now that
my mom did everything alone, I had to pitch 100 percent at home and in school. My
mom started working more days and longer hours, leaving me to care for Houston and

Ashley White
Professor Scaife
Comp 1 8:00

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18 August 2015

Mary. All of this wasnt only confusing and heartbreaking for us kids, but also for my
mom. She put a smile on her face and went on as happy as she could portray, when in
reality, she was emotionally and financially strained to the max. I have watched this for
six years. Through all the mental hospital runs with my brother, who had anger
management at the age of nine, to all the dramatics of school and teenagers, and
keeping up with my little sisters health, life for her was very tough. The only help she
has ever got was Child Support, which the government had to help take from my father.
Dad has never came back around, he left with no regrets or hesitation.
Growing up without parents can be really hard, especially when you look around
at everyone else and they have both loving parents. You constantly wish you had that
feeling. Their parents showed up for every little thing, whether it was a lousy award
ceremony or a basketball game. My mom worked so much and tried her best to always
be there for me, but my dad had the option to come to everything for me and never did.
That is why I quit basketball. I had no reason for the game anymore. My dad didnt care
so why should I? One person that understands how it feels to have one parent during
this awkward teenage stage is interviewee, Bradley. His parents got divorce at twelve
as well and it blindsided him, which in result to being so young, he didnt understand
Ashley White
Professor Scaife
Comp 1 8:00
18 August 2015

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what happened and he never asked. He just gathered bits and pieces along the way
and tried to fit them into a puzzle. The divorce caused him to distance away from his
parents. He believes that the reason they got a divorce was because they both were
too selfish and not giving toward each other. Im not sure they ever were. Like my
parents, his parents jumped into marriage because it was a normal thing to do. There
are a lot of families who end up getting torn apart because the parents made a mistake
from the get go.
Divorce not only affects the parents, but the children as well. Most of the time, we
hide how we feel, because we dont want to hurt our parents feelings more than they
already are. We dont understand or know how to grasp such a thing. My brother was
eight at the time and around . According to Psychology Today, adolescents,
specifically at the age nine and under who go through their parents divorce, tend to pull
away and get angry, which is what exactly happened to my brother. We had to put him
in a couple of mental hospitals and therapy sessions for this. Children between 12 and
15, which was my age range at the time, tend to become confused about love. They see
that even marriage commitment doesnt hold love together and that makes the child feel
as if love doesnt last. They tend to become less

Ashley White
Professor Scaife
Comp 1 8:00
18 August 2015

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interested in love and push people away who care about them. As I read this article, I
realized how much this divorce has affected me socially. Im always worried about
people leaving me, I push people away, and I can be manipulative and controlling to
make sure that the person I love doesnt leave me. These are all issues I face daily and
it all sprouted from this simple break in my family. No matter how old you are, divorce
will affect you.
It is said that fifty percent of marriages end in divorce, which is way too big of a
number for comfort. People jump into marriage, because they know that if the going
gets tough, they can run away from it. If people would just sit back and make some
simple changes within their lives and relationships, divorce wouldnt be such a big
problem. For an instance, education, finance, commitment, arguing, and lack of being
prepared are all things that greatly affect divorce. Maybe if people went to school longer
to be more prepared financially and become more stable before making a family right
ahead, things would be so much easier. Waiting until you know the person well enough
before bouncing into marriage would be a bit intelligent. People feel obligated to get
married once they have a child with someone, which shouldnt be the case. There are
so many things that couldve prevented my parents divorce, but I wouldnt be the
person I am today without it. I have learned a lot from my parents throughout all of this. I
Ashley White
Professor Scaife
Comp 1 8:00
18 August 2015

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know not to rely on a man for anything, to get through school and have a good career
so can take care of my future family, wait before marriage, and work things out with
people before giving up. Do you think people would look at marriage differently if they
only had one shot and divorce wasnt an option?

Works Cited
Samson, Bradley. Email interview. 8 Sept. 2015
Reed, Anne. "AFA Journal - The Real Threat to Marriage." AFA Journal. 2014. Web. 09
Sept. 2015
"Parental Divorce and Adolescents." Psychology Today. N.p., n.d. Web. 16 Sept. 2015.

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Essay #1 Evaluation Rubric 1311

2=inadequate, 3=adequate, 4=good, 5=excellent
5

Text shows an awareness of a clear external audience. The voice, tone, and level of
formality are appropriate for the audience and purpose.

Effectively synthesizes, and contextualizes appropriate sources (articles, surveys, and/or

interviews).

Shows evidence of thoughtful and intelligent re-thinking about the essays global aspects
(thesis, organization, focus, development of ideas, use of specific detail, and language).

15

TotalRhetorical Knowledge/Critical Thinking, Reading, Writing, Design, Graphics,

Revision

Introduction
5

Fully and engagingly establishes the context and boundaries of the topic while enticing
the reader with vivid description and setting the tone. The thesis is stated clearly and
completely.

Establishes the context and boundaries of the topic as it attempts to entice the reader and
set the tone. The thesis, while present, could be clearer, more specific.

Establishes the context and boundaries of the topic but is unengaging.

Does not clearly establish the context and boundaries of the topic or is formulaic or
uninteresting. The thesis is unclear or incomplete or is missing.

Body Paragraphs
Paragraphs develop one reason which clearly contributes to an understanding of the
thesis. Unity: Ideas are easy to follow and transitions are used effectively. Development:
paragraphs are fully developed, providing convincing elaboration through specific and
relevant details, reasons, examples, and uses exact and appropriate language. The
content is remarkable because of the intelligent way the writer addresses the topic. No
major errors in logic.

Paragraphs develop one reason which contributes to an understanding of the thesis.

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However, a few sentences may not clearly contribute to the paragraph's main idea. Unity:
some transitional words or phrases are used. Development: paragraphs are developed
with detailed support. While supporting ideas develop the paragraph's main idea, there
are places where the writer needs to add more details or be more precise to make the
connections obvious. Some minor errors in logic may exist.

Paragraphs attempt to develop one reason which contributes to an understanding of the

thesis. However, a number of sentences may not clearly contribute to the paragraph's
main idea. Unity: some transitional words or phrases are used occasionally.
Development: paragraphs are under developed with only some support. While some
supporting ideas develop the paragraph's main idea, there are places where the writer
needs to add much more detail or be much more precise to make the connections
obvious. Some errors in logic may exist.

Paragraphs may begin with a topic sentence, but do not clearly relate to the thesis.
Paragraphs may also follow a predictable and monotonous pattern. Unity: There are
abrupt qualities either because of brevity or lack of coherence among supporting ideas.
Development: paragraphs provide only a summary development of the topic. Support is
presented in a skeletal structure and relies on generalizations. Word choices may be
careless or redundant, resulting in thoughts that are unclear, lack depth and imagination.
Or it presents many supporting ideas, some of which do not clearly relate to the topic.
Some errors in logic may exist.
Conclusion
5

An original, graceful ending that reinforces the essay's thesis. Leaves reader with
something to chew on.

Restates the thesis and/or main points and offers the reader some analysis or
commentary that reinforces the essay's position.

An ending that merely restates the thesis and/or main points.

Too brief to be successful. Or introduces new ideas. Or Raises ideas that contradict the
thesis.

Language Skills and Voice

Strong command of diction and vocabulary. Persona is engaging, trustworthy, credible,
well-informed, thoughtful, and fair. Successfully uses and punctuates a variety of
sentence structures. Few if any errors exist, and errors do not interfere with readability.
Writer demonstrates consistent command of higher level language skills.

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Command of diction and vocabulary. Persona is mainly engaging, trustworthy, credible,

well-informed, thoughtful, and fair but breaks down in some places. Some variety of
sentence structure exists. Minor errors exist in structure. Writer demonstrates good
command of higher level language skills.

Some command of diction and vocabulary. Persona is mostly engaging, trustworthy,

credible, well-informed, thoughtful, and fair but fails to really hold attention. Some variety
of sentence structure exists. May contain a few major grammatical and mechanical errors,
but errors only create minor difficulty in readability.

Poor command of diction and vocabulary. Persona is barely registers. Writer shows poor
basic skills. Frequent errors in basic grammar and mechanics, which creates difficulty in
reading.

Documentation
5

All references, quotes, and paraphrases are clearly and completely documented, both in
the text and in a properly formatted Works Cited page.

In-text citations and Works Cited entries are included, but there are some omissions and
format errors.

Little to no documentation of sources resulting in unintentional plagiarism.

Source material is deliberately plagiarized.

23

TotalProcess/Conventions

95 A

Grade