Eng 101

Due: Nov 18, 2015

Stew You treated the topic intelligently and offered some interesting insights. You developed
the thesis well. Your essay showed a weakness in citing opinions and outside expert information
accurately, finding academically oriented sources and citing them correctly. I suggest that you
make this the essay you revise (which means you have to do a stellar job on your proposal).
102/135
Title
"Lingerie Football is www.LFLUS.com. The Legends Football League (LFL) or
Lingerie Football League is a women's 7-on-7 tackle American football league, with games
played in the spring and summer at NBA, NFL, NHL and MLS arenas and stadiums. The league
was founded in 2009 as the Lingerie Football League and was rebranded as the
Legends Football League in 2013"("Legends Football League"). This sport require women to
wear revealing uniforms, padding and helmets just as the men's league minus the provocative
attire. This league is televised on FUSE, and is a counterpart for women's professional football.
It's interpreted as a movement, a form of power, attaining the attributes to have control over her

Eng 101
Due: Nov 18, 2015

relationships in competitive and noncompetitive environments--whether it's praised or

disapproved.

The women that join this league are regular hard-working women. Society feel that these
women are seeking attention by showing excess skin. The LFL women feel that they're doing
what they love, while being confident in playing under high exposure. The image promotes
confidence, honesty, healthy emotional stages, strong independence, patience, drama,

Eng 101
Due: Nov 18, 2015

defined/refined purposes, security, support, and values of having a man, dreams, families,
ambition, etc. Women appreciate and values her worth and recognize the destructiveness and
undisclosed expectations of todays society. Personally and professionally women share
developed inspiration of goals and is willingness to make it a reality. Emily Kaplan, a reporter,
discussed a female police officer that joined the LFL, she stated," Male officers resort to
alcoholism, I manage my stress on the football field"(Kaplan). The LFL players typically arent
jealous of other beautiful women because she shares and =embraces her beautyappearance is
flawless and heavily sexualized. These women get overwhelmed before they hit the field. "My
hair is just not agreeing with me today", says one player". (Kaplan) ...someone reaches for a
pink bottle of perfume". (Kaplan) This is the secret, she says, spritzing her neck and wrists".
"Gotta feel pretty before we get ugly", says another player. (Kaplan) These actions show these
players are concerned more with their beauty than their sexual appearance.
In a wider aspect, social assumptions reoccur during the gradual increase and advance in
social and economic power. Due to mass media, the image may be interpreted as beautiful
women who put on personal fronts for attention. Although the women are sexualizing the sport,
she is fully aware of the concept of the game. She isnt afraid to be feministic nor take charge in
the provocative sport. The advertisements of the LFL present rebellion and independence of
once sensitive and domesticated women. The reality is --she enhances her overall appearance to
play football; the same way she would to cook breakfast in the morning. The ideal expectations
of society is for women to be domesticated and conventional without having variances of
impressions or expressions on younger women. Most Americans view the league as a form of
rebellion and a form of selfishness. The elements of the league in society's view is leaning
towards soft porn. Society feels that ads that display these women showing any bare parts of

Eng 101
Due: Nov 18, 2015

their bodies is indecent, derogatory, and degrades the respect that a woman deserves. The
women of the league disagree with society. The LFL women believe that society may be selfconscious of how "normal" women look; while the LFL women do it to become less selfconscious about what society think. Women should be seen as a dominant force instead of
submissive, sensitive, and domesticated. The league shows men and women that it's okay to be
independent while respecting morals and values as a woman. A woman can still be a "trophy
wife" and play football. Football promotes the men that date the LFL women to hold interest
because they share something in common that he/she can relate to. The women of the LFL are
inspired and motivated to defend their perspectives of the LFL. These ladies appreciate who
they are as individuals and prefer to vent through football rather than be a house wife waiting to
embrace the need of a man.
Das, a writer, stated that women are facing more pressure based on the attributes she
acquires. The women of the LFL feel that they have a point to prove to dismiss the stereotypes
of women being nurturing, sensitive, pretty, and home baring at all times. According to the
article from Das, women are becoming even more flawless to attain the arousal of men. High
levels of arousal is what gets her paid. The picture symbolizes that women are simply objects of
desire. In society women are expected to be domesticated, this new league is breaking a "norm".
Society expect a higher quantity of control over women-- knowing when to speak, how to dress,
how to look, what to do, etc. The identity of the women in the LFL picture varies from societal
norms. Therefore; its interpreted as a movement, a form of power that attains the attributes to
have control over her relationships in competitive and non-competitive environments--whether
it's praised or disapproved.

Eng 101
Due: Nov 18, 2015

Works Cited & Websites:

http://38.media.tumblr.com/a250319868b598cc5364e6d69d9e7d39/tumblr_inline_
mgsdfd97Km1r9jq2k.jpg

You need to use MLA format to cite this website.

Wikipedia. Wikimedia 4 Nov 2015. Web: 4 Nov 2015. Not correct format not cited in the essay.
Kaplan, Emily. Were Not Going to Show You These Women Playing Football in Their Bikinis
WED SEP. 23, 2015. Web 4, Nov 2015incomplete citation
Kortney. The Big Dilemma; Lingerie Football League & Women in Sport. May 2013. Web: 4,
Nov 2015 not cited in paper; incomplete format
Ritwajit, Das. Social Status of Women In Media- A Contemporary Evaluation Study. Academia
2015. Web: 4, Nov 2015
General Education Rubric: English 101/102: College Composition I/II
General
Education
Competency

Written and
Oral
Communicatio
n
>59

Related
Assignment
Requirement
5 points
10 points
Introduction 5
points -5
Thesis 10
points -7
Conclusion 5
points -5
Structure
(including TS)
10 points -10
Coherence 10
points -8

Errors 1 point
per error
-10/2=5=15

4
Exemplary
Exceeds
Expectations
5 points
9 - 10
Presents a unified
central idea that is
supported by
exceptional
evidence and
displays unusual
insight.
Uses a logical
order for
paragraphs and
presents them in
an interesting or
original manner.
Free of errors in
usage/mechanics,
but for minor
errors which do
not impede
meaning.

3
Accomplished
Meets Expectations
3 4 points
6 - 8 points
Presents a unified central
idea that is supported by
relevant evidence.

2
Developing
Approaches
Expectations
2 points
3 5 points
Presents a unified central
idea that is supported by
adequate evidence.

Uses a logical order for

paragraphs.

Uses a logical order for

paragraphs.

Free of errors in
usage/mechanics, but for
minor errors which do not
impede meaning.

Contains some major

grammatical or usage
errors or many minor
errors.

Style reflects appropriate

vocabulary and varied
sentence patterns.

Style may include

imprecise diction,
ineffective transitions,
and unvaried sentence
patterns.

Do
un
do
ad

Ha
or

Co
gr
er
er

St
im
ine
an
pa

Eng 101
Due: Nov 18, 2015
Diction/clarity
10 points -9

Image
description
and analysis
>8

Critical
Analysis and
Reasoning >12
overall
perspective is
interesting and
logical. You
need to cite
the sources of
the social
opinions and
expectations.

Information
Literacy>9

10 points

Describe
features of the
image and
analyze their
significance to
the social or
cultural impact
which leads to
your research
into a broader
topic.
NOTE: this
description and
analysis sets the
stage for your
informed opinion
(thesis) which is
supported by
thoughtful
research and
reasoning.
20 points
Argue for your
position by
generating
reasons and
providing
evidence for
your views.
Details/RENNS;
at least three
are cited
20 points
5 points
Use a minimum
of three
academically
appropriate
secondary
sources in
addition to any
assigned
primary
source/s. 5
points -2

Style reflects
precise and vivid
vocabulary and
varied sentence
patterns.
9 10

68

35

Identifies more
than three
features of the
image, describes
them in the
context of the
broader
researched topic
and shows a
thoughtful
connection
between the
images features
and how they
reflect the specific
issues related to
your thesis and
subsequent
research.

Identifies three features

of image and describes
them in detail. The
description leads to
interpretation of their
significance to a broader
social or cultural issue
which you will present a
well-developed thesis,
supported by expert
evidence and insightful
reasoning.

Identifies one or two

features and describes
them. There may be
some interpretation
which will lead to
identifying a broader
social or cultural issue,
but the connection is not
made explicit. There
may be a general
reference to a thesis
which will be supported
with researched
evidence.

Ge
wh
wh
Th
me
ma
lar
iss
int
fea
mi

17 20 points
Ideas are
thoroughly
developed and
presented in a
logical manner
that is easy to
follow with clear
reasoning.

13 16 points
Ideas are developed and
presented in a logical
manner that is easy to
follow with clear
reasoning.

8 12 points
Ideas are mostly
developed and presented
in a mostly logical
manner that is easy to
follow.

0
Ide
an
or
fol

Displays moderate depth

in reasoning and thought.

Displays an attempt at
depth in thought.

3 4 points
Incorporates the required
number of sources;
sources meet minimum
standards for credibility
and relevance.

2 points
Incorporates the required
number of sources; some
sources do not meet
minimum standards for
credibility and/or
relevance.

Inc
th
so
so
sta
an

Source information is
introduced with qualifiers
and sometimes
accompanied by
comments clarifying its

Source information is
simply inserted with
qualifiers or other
attempts at source
integration; source

So
sim
qu
at
int

Displays insightful,
in-depth reasoning
and depth of
thought.
5 points
Exceeds the
number of
required sources;
sources meet the
highest standards
for credibility and
relevance.

Source information
is introduced with
appropriate

Di
illo

Eng 101
Due: Nov 18, 2015
Demonstrate
academic
integrity through
source
integration and
documentation.
5 points-3

5 points-2

5 points -2

Technological
Competence>9

Local and
Global
Diversity>5

The inserted
object should be
relevant to the
content of the
essay and
should be placed
thoughtfully
within the
essay. 5 points
-5
Use appropriate
style format for
essay, including
font and margin
size, as well as
header and page
number location.
5 4pointsIn analyzing the
issue, consider
the social,
historical, and/or
political factors
at play.
5 points

qualifiers and
accompanied by
comments
clarifying its
relevance to thesis
support.
Source information
is smoothly and
effectively
paraphrased,
summarized, or
quoted.
Sources are
correctly
documented in
parenthetical
citation and on a
Works Cited page
or Bibliography as
appropriate to the
style format in
use.
The inserted
object is especially
suited/ related to
the essay thesis or
other content, and
the object
placement is
smoothly
integrated without
any visual
awkwardness.

relevance to thesis
development.

relevance to thesis
development is
sometimes unclear.

so
th
un

Attempts are made, but

sources are not correctly
documented in
parenthetical citation and
on a Works Cited page or
Bibliography as
appropriate to the style
format in use.

So
un
pa
Wo
cit

The inserted object

clearly relates to the
essay thesis or other
content, and the object
placement is smoothly
integrated without any
visual awkwardness.

The inserted object has

marginal connection to
the essay thesis or other
content, or the object
placement lacks smooth
integration in the essay.

Th
litt
th
co
ha
th
no
th

Document format follows

style guidelines with only
one minor alteration.

Document format follows

style guidelines with only
minor departures.

Do
sty
so

Includes references to
social/historical/political
factors and shows
moderate/acceptable
depth or development in
analyzing those factors.

Includes reference(s) to
social/historical/political
factors but shows little
depth or development in
analyzing those factors.

Inc
so
fac
lac
re

Source information is
sometimes paraphrased
or summarized, not
exclusively quoted.
Sources are correctly
documented in
parenthetical citation and
on a Works Cited page or
Bibliography as
appropriate to the style
format in use.

Document format
follows style
guidelines
perfectly.

Includes
thoughtful and
insightful analysis
that demonstrates
an aware-ness of
social/historical/
political factors.

Eng 101
Due: Nov 18, 2015