Lewandowski1

MadisonLewandowski
Mr.Koroshec
English110:3
18December2015
ASolutiontotheSocialDisconnectinourFuture
Haveyoueverlookedaroundinpublicandnoticedthenumberofpeopleconsumedby
theirelectronics?Theyareoblivioustotheoutsideworld,theirheadsburiedintheirphones.
Thingswerenotalwayslikethis.Sincetherecentincreaseoftheuseofsocialmediaduetothe
convenienceandgrowthofsmartphones,humanrelationshipshavebeenaffectedmore
negativelythanpositivelyinthatsocialmediaisprovidingalossofprivacy,creating
miscommunications,andcausingustobedishonestandlazy.
Theuseofsocialmediabegantenyearsagoandhasbeengrowingeversince.Social
mediahasallowedpeopletofeelsafebehindtheirscreenwhilealsomakingconnectionswith
othersatthesametime.Itisawaytoconnectwitholdfriends,communicatewithcurrent
friends,andmeetnewfriends.JesseFleck,agraduatefromtheUniversityofMinnesota,and
LeighJohnsonMigalski,anassociateprofessorintheClinicalPsychologyDepartmentatAlder
University,explainthatasof2010,73percentofadultsandteenagersonlinearepresentonat
leastonesocialmedianetworkingsiteandthisnumbercontinuestoexpand(135).Thisnumber
increasedbyalmost20%todayversusfiveyearsago.Withoutadoubt,socialmediaislookingto
quicklytakeovertheglobe,forcingeverybodytobepresentinit.Facebook,oneoftheolderyet
popularsocialmediasites,allowsuserstoconnectwithothersthroughprivatechatsandseveral
mediapostswhichcanconsistoftext,imagesandvideo.AccordingtoLoriAnnWagner,a


Lewandowski2

licensedprofessionalAdlerianandpsychotherapycounselorfromtheAdlerGraduateSchoolof
Minnesota,71%ofadultsonlinearepubliconFacebook(115).Othersitesfocustheirpostson
onlyonetypeofcontentInstagramsimplyfocusesofpictures,takingawayfromthevisual
effectofseeingsomebodyinperson,Twitterconcentratesontext,takingawayfromtheverbal
aspectoftalkingtosomebodyinpersonandYouTubeonlyallowsvideoposts,takingawayboth
visualandverbalaspectsoffacetofaceconversations.Althoughthesearesomeofthemost
popularsocialnetworkingsitesintheUnitedStates,allofthemarecausingadisconnectin
humanrelationshipsbypreventingfacetofacecommunication.
Withthegrowthofsmartphonesandsocialmediaatthesametime,botharefeedingoff
ofeachother.Asmorepeopleownsmartphones,moreareusingthemtocreatesocialmedia
profilesandcheckonthemduringanyfreemomenttheyhave.Thecommonuseofsmartphones
andcheckingthemconstantlyhasquicklytransformedintoadailyhabitformanyAmericansand
isbecomingaverydifficulthabittobreak.Thetimespentoncellphonesisincreasing,proving
thatthishabitistransformingintoapermanentcharacteristic.Peopleareundoubtedlybecoming
addictedtotheirdevices,andnothingisbeingdonetostopit.Thisisoneofthemainfactors
causingthegrowthofsocialmediaandcreatingproblemsinhumanrelationships.
Socialmediaalsoprovidesconvenience.Insteadofgettingupoutofbedtomeetnew
friendsandmakeconnections,everythingcanbedonewiththeconvenienceofbeingwherever
wewant,wheneverwewant,andwiththecomfortofhidingourfacesbehindascreen.People
strivetofindtheeasywayout.Weareafraidoftakingrisksandshowingemotionrequiredin
facetofacecommunicationbut,optionalinsocialmedia.Wagneragrees,Facetoface
relationshipsaremessy:theyrequiremakingaccommodationsforoneanotherandtaking


Lewandowski3

emotionalrisks(119).Thisiswhywehavegravitatedtowardsvirtualprofiles,imaginary
friends,anddishonestrelationships,causingmoreproblemswithsocialmedia.
Asaresultofmediabeingabletobespreadimmediately,thereisalossofprivacy,
meaningweneedto,[...]bemoreawareofwhatwesayonlineandwhohasaccesstoit(Fleck
andJohnsonMigalski138).Unwantedinformationhasthepotentialtospreadlikewildfire,so
wemustbecautious.Peoplehavethecapabilitytotakeadvantageofprivateinformationand
postitpublicforvirtuallyanyonetosee.Thiscancauseproblemswhenapplyingforjobs,
applyingforcollegesorsimplytheembarrassmentofunwantedinformationviewedbytheeyes
ofstrangers.
Assuggested,withtheincreaseintheuseofsocialmedia,facetofacerelationshipshave
decreased.Thereareafewreasonswhythisfactneedstobeconsideredandtakenseriously.
Wagnermentionsthatwithfacetofacerelationshipswehaveaccesstoallfivesenses,butwith
socialmedia,notallfivesensesareengaged,causingmiscommunications.Notbeingabletosee
apersonsfacialexpressionsorheartheirtoneofvoicecanhaveanaffectonhowinformationis
beingreceived(115).Leavingthesefivesensesuptointerpretationisariskwetakewhen
communicatingonline.Lettingotherpeopleimagineyourfacialexpressionsandtoneofvoice
cancauseproblemsthatarenotpossibleinfacetofaceconversations.Notonlythat,butMarina
Bluvshtein,adoctorandgraduatefromtheAdlerGraduateSchoolinMinnesota,MelodyKruzic,
acareercounselorandgraduatefromIowaStateUniversity,andVictorMassaglia,anadjunct
associateprofessoratUniversityofMinnesotaLawSchool,mentionthat,Historically,humans
mostmeaningfulconnectionswerefacetofacewithothers(144).Weareabletoconnectona


Lewandowski4

deeperlevelwhenweareabletoseeandshoweachother'semotions,allowingourrelationships
tobecomestrongerandmoremeaningful.
Theabilitytohideemotionsalsoleadstopeoplebeingdishonest.Onsocialmedia,itis
veryeasytolieaboutwhoyouareoranyotherimportantinformation.Itiscommonforpeople
tocreatefictionalprofilestofindoutpersonalinformationaboutothersorsimplypostafictional
profilepictureandusethemisperceptionstobuildarelationship.Wagnerreferstothesepeople
ascatfishandsays,Itseemsthatwhatthey[catfish]getoutoftheirscamsishavingtotal
controloverthewayothersperceivethem(119).Catfishoftendealwiththeirinsecuritiesin
thisway.Whencatfishdon'tfeelcomfortablewiththemselvesintherealworld,theymakeupa
virtualpersonalityofsomeonewhotheycanfeelconfidentin,tomakeupfortheirlowself
esteem.Theproblemwiththisisthattherelationshipisthenbasedonawebofliesandcould
nevergofurtherthanthescreenforfearofthetruth.SurenRamasubbu,cofounderandCEOof
Mobicip(apopularinternetfilteringserviceforsmartphones),arguesthatthisalsoinvitesthe
ideaofcyberbullyingwhichwasnotaproblemtenyearsago,butnowwithsocialmediabeingas
popularasitis,cyberbullyingisbecomingpopularaswell.Thiscreatesawholesetofproblems
ofitsown.Morekidsandteensaroundtheworldarebeingmadefunofpublicallyonthe
Internet,causingthemtoloseconfidenceinthemselves,whichgivesthemthepotentialto
becomecatfishinthefuture.
Anotherconsequenceofsocialmediaislaziness.Weareusedtobeingabletostayinbed
andgetwhateverwewantwiththeslighttapofascreen.IfItouchmyphoneintherightplaces,
pizzawillshowupatmydoorwithouteverneedingtoliftmyheadfrommypillow.Wedont
havetoworktomakefriendsortalktoothersasmuchasweusedto,whichiscausingustotake


Lewandowski5

whatwehaveforgranted,andslackoffinpersonalfacetofaceconnections.Notonlythat,but
MauraKeller,aMinneapolisbasedwriterandeditor,pointsoutthatwedontmaketheeffortto
findoutasmuchaboutpeoplewithdifferentviewpoints.Itiseasyforustointeractwithpeople
onlinewhoagreewithus,thereforewearenotreceivingthesamediversityweusedto.Social
mediaisguidingustobecomeshallowmindedandwearedoingnothingtostopit.
Opposingly,itisbelievedthatwhensocialmediaisusedwiselyandsparingly,itcanbe
beneficialtous.Bluvshtein,Kruzic,andMassagliabelievethat,[...S]ocialmediadoesnot
displacefacetofacesocialconnections,butmakesthemstronger(147).Althoughsocialmedia
decreasesfacetofacerelationships,causesmiscommunication,createsdishonestyandpromotes
laziness,thisisapossibleideatoexplore.
Throughtheuseofsocialmediaoneadvantageisthemillionsofpeopleavailableforus
toreach.Advisershaveanewfoundationtogrowtheiradvertisements,andthisprovides
everyoneelseanalternateplacetogrowtheirconnections.Growingconnectionsinfacetoface
relationshipsseemstobelesseffectiveinthequantityoffriendsversesgrowingyourfriends
throughsocialmedia.AccordingtoBluvshtein,KruzicandMassaglia,thisisbecauseonsocial
media,wecanaddfriendsoffriendsoffriendsandexpandourfollowingaswellasour
relationshipseasily(147).Althoughtherelationshipsmaynotbebuiltonafoundationasstrong
asthoseoffacetofacerelationships,theconnectionsmadearemuchwiderandcangrow
quicklywithlesseffort.
Anotherbenefitofsocialmediaistheopportunitytolearn.Wecanlearnfromotherswho
livearoundtheworld,whenwedontnormallyhaveaccesstoinfacetofacerelationships.One
socialmediasitespecificallymadetohelpuslearnisPinterest.Bluvshtein,Kruzicand


Lewandowski6

Massagliastatethat,Pinterestisyetanothertoolforbuildingasenseofcommunity[...]
Memberscanalsouseitforcareerbuilding,collectingandorganizingresumeadvice,interview
tips,andideasforsuccessfulsalarynegotiation(149).Pinterestisusedbyavarietyofpeopleof
differentagesandcangiveadviceonalmostanysubject.IusePinteresttolearnhowtomake
crafts,cook,andredecoratemyroom.
SimilartoPinterest,anotherhelpfulsocialmediasiteisYouTube.YouTubemakesit
easytolearnfromothersthroughthethousandsoftutorialsthatpeoplepostonline.Thesevideos
canrangeanywherefromgamingtutorialstohowtodomakeupandhair.
Anotheroptionofsocialmediaistoletotherslearnfromyou.Socialmediasitesmakeit
verysimpleforpeopletocreateanduploadcontent.Intheprocessofcreatingthecontent,these
socialmediausersareabletolearnavarietyofthings.BypostingonYouTube,weareableto
learnhowtospeakcomfortablyinfrontofacameraanddevelopvideoeditingskills.Byposting
onPinterestorcreatingablog,welearnhowtowriteandexplainasetofdirectionswith
minimalgrammarerrors.Eachsocialmediasitehasdifferentpossibilitiestolearnandweneed
tobeawareofthesepositiveeffects.
Overall,withtheuseofsocialmediaconstantlygrowing,relationshipsarepermanently
changingandwillneverbehowtheywerebefore,butsocialmediadoesnthavetobeabad
thing.Thereisapossiblesolutiontothismadness.Thefirststepinfixingourrelationshipsis
educatingthepopulationoftheproblem.Themajorityofsocialmediausersdonotunderstand
theeffectitishavingontheirlives.Onlyoncepeopletakethetimetoaskquestionsandbecome
awareofhowsocialmediaisharmingtheirrelationships,somethingcanbedoneaboutit.


Lewandowski7

Onesimpleresolutionisrequiringsocialmediasitestopostawarningonthemthateach
membermustreadandagreetobeforecreatinganaccount.Thiswarningshouldbesimple,
concise,andstraighttothepoint.Itcansimplystatesomethinglike,Thissocialmediasiteis
knowntonegativelyaffectfacetofacerelationships,soremembertouseitwisely!Iftheuser
isinterested,alinkcouldbeprovidedinordertooffermoreinformationastowhyandhow
socialmediaisweakeningrelationships.
Asecondsolutiontothisproblemcanbedonebysimplychangingourhabits.Whenwe
hangoutwithfriendsorareinasocialsetting,weneedtorestrictourselvesfromphoneusagein
ordertostrengthenourrelationshipswiththepeoplesurroundingus.Haveyoueverbeenwitha
groupwhereeveryoneissilentfromthedistractionofsocialmediaontheirphones?Ihave,and
itisnotasexcitingasputtingourphonesdown,talkingwitheachother,andlivinginthe
moment.Thisiswhywehavethecapabilitytointroduceasimplesolutionsuchasanophone
zonewhenwearewithothers.
Expandingthenophonezoneidea,anotherwaytopreventtemptationofcheckingour
phonesinsocialsettings,particularlywheneatingatarestaurant,istomakeeveryoneplacetheir
phonesinthemiddleofthetable.Theruletothischallengeisforeveryonetotrytheirbesttonot
checktheirphonesatanytimeduringthemeal.Ifsomeonedoes,thepersonwhograbbedtheir
phonefirst,wouldhavetopayfortheentiregroup.Ifnobodycheats,thenthemealissplitup.
Thisisaneasy,uniquewaytoreducephoneusageinsocialsettings,thereforeallowingusto
strengthenourrelationshipswiththepeoplewecanseefacetoface.
Oncepeopleunderstandthepotentialrisktheyaretakingwhensigningupforasocial
media,weneedtotakeactionandlimitourusage.Thisstepwillundoubtedlybedifficultforme,


Lewandowski8

letalonethegeneralpopulation.Iamnotconcludingthatweneedtostopusingsocialmediaasa
wholewhichwouldbevirtuallyimpossible,butinstead,wesimplyneedtobeawareofwhenwe
useitandwhy.Ifweareusingsocialmediainplaceofourfacetofacerelationships,thenthisis
somethingthatisharmfultousandweneedtocutdownonit.Ifinstead,weareusingsocial
mediatocreateandgrowconnectionsthatareunavailabletousduringfacetoface
communication,onlythen,Ibelievetheuseofsocialmediaisjustified.
Inconclusion,thereisnotonesimple,cookiecuttersolutiontothisworldwideproblem.
Instead,weallneedtodoourparttohelpstrengthenourrelationshipsbyrestrictingouruseof
socialmedia.Weneedtofocusononlyusingittohelpourconnectionsgrownwithusinsteadof
lettingitdamageourrelationshipsbyallowingittogrowinplaceofus.Althoughtherearesome
negativeeffectsofhowsocialmediaistakingoverourpersonalrelationships,gettingridofit
completelyisnotanoption,sowemustuseittoouradvantage.Socialmediahasopenedawide
rangeofnewopportunities,allowingustoexperimentourselvesandlearnfromothers.Toput
thingssimply,weshouldusesocialmediatogrowandlearnfrom,butnotrelyon.Itshouldnt
replaceourfacetofacerelationships,butgrowourconnectionsbygivingusanewfoundationin
whichtoexpandourrelationships.


Lewandowski9

WorksCited
Bluvshtein,Marina,MelodyKruzic,andVictorMassaglia."FromNetthinkingToNetworking
ToNetfeeling:UsingSocialMediaToHelpPeopleInJobTransitions."
JournalOf
IndividualPsychology
71.2(2015):143154.
PsychologyandBehavioralSciences
Collection
.Web.1Dec.2015.
Fleck,Jesse,andLeighJohnsonMigalski."TheImpactOfSocialMediaOnPersonalAnd
.
ProfessionalLives:AnAdlerianPerspective."
JournalOfIndividualPsychology
71.2
.
(2015):135142.
PsychologyandBehavioralSciencesCollection
.Web.12Nov.2015.
Keller,Maura."SocialMediaandInterpersonalCommunication."
SocialMediaand
.
InterpersonalCommunication
.GreatVallyPublishingCo.,May2013.Web.12Nov.
.
2015.
Ramasubbu,Suren."InfluenceofSocialMediaonTeenagers."
TheHuffingtonPost
.
.
TheHuffingtonPost.com,8June2015.Web.12Nov.2015.
Wagner,LoriAnn."WhenYourSmartphoneIsTooSmartForYourOwnGood:HowSocial
.
MediaAltersHumanRelationships."
JournalOfIndividualPsychology
71.2(2015):
.
114121.
PsychologyandBehavioralSciencesCollection
.Web.12Nov.2015.