Yamraj asks 3 ladies -

Kabhi kiss kiya?

1st lady : Shadi se pehle.
Yamraj : Chal Nark me.
2nd Lady : Shaadi ke baad.
Yamraj : Chal Swarg me.
3rd Lady : Na pehle na baad me.
Yamraj : Chal kamre me!!!

Doctor : Aab tabiyat kaisi hai?

Santa : Pehle se jyada kharab hai.
Doctor : Dawai khali thi?
Santa : Nahi dawai ki sishi to bhari hui thi.
Doctor : I mean dawai le li thi?
Santa : Ji aapne di to meine le li thi.
Doctor : Bewkoof dawai pee li thi?
Santa : Nahi dawai to laal thi.
Doctor : Abe gadhe dawai ko pee liya tha?
Santa : Nahi sir peelia to mujhe tha!!!
Sardar s Son Papa jaldi-2 mera viya kra deo nahi ta main DAADI nal viya kra lavang
a.
Sardar:oye tu meri MAA nal viya krayenga.!
Son:-kyo tusi meri MAA nal ni krayea..

Santa : Meri biwi mujhe chorr ke chali gayi.

Banta : Tu uska khyal nahi rakhta hoga.
Santa : Arre yaar Sagi behen ki tarah rakhta tha usko!

Santa : Preeto chal honeymoon te chaliye.

Preeto : Mein velli nahi, main halle kapde v dhone e, te pande vi manjne e, tusi
beeji nu le jao.

English Teacher: One cute and young girl is walking on the road. Change this into
an punjabi exclamatory sentence.
Sardar student:- Oye,pataka !

SLAM BOOK filled by Santa.

1.Strength: My wife, Jeeto.
2.Weakness: Banta s wife, Preeto.
3.Oppurtunity: When Banta is on tour.
4.Threat: When I am on tour!!!
Santa : Yaar aaj mein bus ke peeche peecha daudkar three rupees bacha liye.
Banta : Kya yaar, tum to bahut murkh ho, agar taxi ke peeche bhagte to 100 rupee
s bachta!

Air hostess: Aap 1 hours me 4 baar toilet gaye! R U OK? Kya aap ko chein nahi ha
i?
Santa: Chain hai par khulti nahi hai!!!

Wife: Please bike itni taze na chalao mujhey bahut dar lag raha hai.
Sardar: Agar tumhe bhi daar lag raha hai to meri tarah ankhein band karlo!!!
Sardar to doctor: Jab mein sota hu to mere sapne me monkeys football khelte hai.
Dr: Koi baat nahi ye medicine sone se pehle kha lena.
Sardar: Kal se khaonga, aaj to final hai!!!

A sardar had a baby after 3 months of marriage. He suspected

and asked to his wife, Ye 3 month me hi baccha kaise hua?
Wife Replied : Tumhari shaadi ko kitne din hue?
Sardar : Three months
Wife : Aur meri shaadi ko?
Sardar : 3 months.
Wife : Aur bacha kitne month ke baad?
Sardar : 3 months.
Wife : Total kitne months hue?
Sardar : Oye 9 months & start dancing Balle Balle!!!!
Ek sarder ne air-hostess se kaha, Aapki shakal meri biwi
se bahut milti hai .
Air-hostess ne ye sunte hi zordaar thappad uske muh pe mara
Sardar foran bola : Aadat bhi bahut milti hai
Ek din Santa jungle se gujar raha tha
Chudail ne use roka aur kaha : Ho ho ho Ha ha ha Mein Chudail hu.
Sardar : Menu pata hai kyunki teri ek behen meri biwi hai!
Ek chor Sardar jee k mobile ko lekar bhag raha tha.
Sardar hasne laga
Banta : Wo tumhare mobile ko lekar bhag raha hai aur tum hans rahe ho.
Sardar : Bhagne do, charger to mere paas hai!
Sardar ke radio me kuch problem ho gayi to aur kharab ho gaya
Usne radio khol kar dekha to ek mara hua chuha mila
Ye dekh kar sardar gussa ho gaya aur bola : Ye chalega kaise?
Sala singer hi mara pada hai
what is the extreme limit of stupidity? Two Sardars sitting on a Rikshaw .,
and .,
fighting for a corner seat.

A Sardar looking at sky asks another Sardar :Is that a sun or moon? Other Sardar
replies :Oye ! No idea Im new to this city..

Ladkiyon ke college me strike thi,

Ladke bhi unke saath the
Ladkiyon ne naara lagaya:
HUMARI MAANGE
Pichhe se awaaz aayi:
SINDUR SE BHARO
Teacher : Santa and Banta!why you reached school late today?
Santa : Madam, I lost a one rupee coin and I was searching for it.
Teacher : Banta, what about you?
Banta : Madam. .., I was not able to move .because I was hiding that coin under m
y feet.

Teacher : Santa! Make a sentence using Neither-Nor .

Santa : When girls wear tight fitting dresses, NEiTHER are they
comfortable, NOR are we!

Teacher : Santa ye batao tense kitne tarah ke hote hai?

Santa : Teen maidam.
Teacher : Teeno ke ek-ek example batao.
Santa : Madam, meine kal aapki beti ko dekha tha. Aaj mein ussey pyar karta hu a
ur kal mein ussey bhaga kar le jaunga.
Santa ek black aur ek white shocks pehenkar school aata hai.
Madam : Ghar jao aur moje badalkar aao.
Santa : Koi fayda nahi, waha bhi ek black aur ek white moja hi rakha hai.

Ek baar Santa ka Gadha lapata ho jata hai

Wo mandir me jakar bhagwan ki murti k samne der tak prarthana karta hai.
Yeh dekhkar Banta ussey puchta hai, Santa kya tum bhagwan se ye prarthana kar rah
e ho
ki tumhara gadha tumhe mil jaye?.
Santa : nahi yaar, mein to bhagwan ka sukriya ada kar raha tha ki unke
kripa se mein gadhe par sawar nahi tha, nahi to mein bhi lapata ho jata!
what is the cube of 13?
Its : SUROOR
wandaring how?
thats bcoz .
TERA * TERA * TERA = SUROOR
who was the 1st Indian woman fly abroad?
.sita with ravan
wht did the kangaroo say when she found her baby missing?
Ans: Aaila!!!!! kisne mera pocket maar liya
wht do u call a really colourful tamilian???
Ans: Rangamannar rangrajan
An elephant falls in luv wid n ent.but Ant s parents r against their marrige guess y
??
they gave a solid reason **Ladke k dat bahar hai**
ones sardarji saw a very soni kudi in the market & thought..
Ans : kash k ye meri maa hondi to main v inna sona honda..
Full form of MATHS????
Ans : Mentally Affected Teacher Harassing Students
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Doctor to Patient : The check which u gave me has returned back.
Patient to Doctor:The head-ache for which you gave me medicine has also returned
back.
My wife ran away with my best friend.
To tell you the truth, I really miss him.
What do you call a wife who is sexy,
beautiful,intelligent,understanding,
caring, never jealous and a great cook?
ANSWER : A rumour!
Husband asks,Do u know the meaning of WIFE.
It means Without Information Fighting Evrytime!
WIFE on hearing this says,
it could also mean-With Idiot For Ever.
Early to bed and early to rise makes ur girlfriend go out with other guys.
A Train is bout2 crash. A frantic virgin strips off n says:
Can anyone make me feel like a woman b4 I die?
So a man takes off his clothes n say, Iron these!
Mother to Teenage Daughter : I think its time that we should talk about SEX.
Daughter : Yes Mom, What do You want to know ? .
Patient : I always see spots before my eyes.
Doctor : Didn t the new glasses help?
Patient : Sure, Now i see the spots much clearer.
Husband wife ki godh mein leta hua thaa
Wife: Kaisa lag raha hai ji.
Husband: Aise jaise bhagwaan Vishnu Shesh naag ki godh mein lete hon!
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, You know, I was a fool when I marrie
d you.
She replied, Yes, dear, but I was in love & didn t notice.
Father: Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye?
Son: Mujhe chand jai si biwi chahiye, Jo raat ko aaye aur subha chali jaye!
Man:what is million years to u?
God:only a second.
Man:what is billion of Dollar.to u?
God:only a Coin.
Man:ok give me a Coin.
God:wait a second .
sardar ji to his friend: Yar bari mushkil main hoon mairi bivi mujh say aik kiss
ka 100 RS laiti hay .. friend: acha, yar to bara lucky hay doosron say to wo 50
0RS laiti hay.
A sardar was running with his pregnent wife,who was about to deliver, when anoth
er sardar asked him, O pernam singh, oye woti nu ais haal vitch le ke kithey puj
rya vain, pernam singh replied,assi Pizza hut chaley aan, sunya aa othey free d
elivery hondi aaa.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Munna Bhai > Abay Sirkit,
Jaa baajo walay ghar say Doctor ko bula ke laa,
meri tabiat kharab ho reli hai.
Sirkit > par Bhai aap to khud doctor ho.
Munna Bhai > Bolay to meri fees buhat zyada ha
taxi driver:madam me abtak 10 pregnant ladkiyo ko airport chhod chuka hoon . Girl:
But i am not pregnant.Driver;Abhi tak
airportkaha aaya hai????

Teacher Kisses Ko Sentence Main

Is Tarah Istamal Karo K Word Kiss Bhi
Na Aaye Aur Meaning Aajae
Student Aaj Subah Subah
Begam Se Buhat Munh Maari Hui

Santa: Should i buy tickets to my children.

Conductor: Yes only if they are above 8.
Santa: Thank god i have only 6 children
Santa Ricksey wale se :- Oy Railway Station Jayega.
Reckse wala:- hanji.
Santa:- To jao n yaha kyo khare ho.

Son : Daddy, aap Egypt kab gaye?

Father : Kabhi nahi! Kyu?
Son : Aapko Mummy kahaam se mili?
bhikhArI- das paise kA savAl hai, bAbujI das paise kA . .
bAbujI- are CUM-se-CUM merI aukAt dekhakar mANg,
kyA das paise mANg rahA hai.
bhikhArI- bAbujI ek rupaye kA savAl hai.
bAbujI- abe apanI aukAt dekhakar mANg.
Class me 2 Ladkiya,
1 gori
1 kali.
Kali Gori se:Tu konsi cream lagati he?
Gori:FAIR & LOVELY or tum?
Piche baita SANTA bola
Cherry Blosm.

Santa Ne Najaiz Ghar Banaya Ksi Ne Mashwara Dia

Ghar K Bahar Aisi Chowking Kardo K Police Samjhe ki Porana Ghar Hai
Santa Ne Dewar Pe Likha
Anarkali Ko Riha Kro
Chuha-mujse shadi krogi?
Sherni-apni aukat me reh.
Chuha-aukat ki baat mat kar,
confidence dekh.
Santa Banta ko Yaar lag raha hai menu bird flue ho gaya
Banta :-> Tenu keda pata
Santa :-> Yaar mera hai na kal se udne ko man kar raha hai.
Santa throw his mobile in samundar & bola Aa aa upar aa
His friend ask pani me se upar kaise aayega.
Santa bola Kyon nahi aayega DOLPHIN jo hai.
Doctor patient k peche bhag raha tha.
Ek admi ne pocha kya hua?
Doctor: 4 baar aisa he hua hai sala brain ka operation karwane aata hai aur baal
katwa k chala jata
Air hostess: Aap 1 gante me 4bar toilet gaye! R U OK? Kya aap ko chein nahi hai?
SARDAR: Chain hai par khulti nahi hai!!!
Man: Dr Mujhe normal potti nahi aati,Chawal khaya to chawal nikle,Roti khayi to
roti,normal k liye kya karu,
Dr: PoTTI KHA!!!!
Doctor: Bachey ko paani
dene se pehle boil kar
lena chahiye
Sardar: Lekin Janab
Boil karne se bacha
marr toh nahi jaye ga!!
Sardar Bunks office n goes to home.
He saw his wife with his boss.
He comes back running office and says,
baap re, boss ne dekh liya hota to maar daalta .
Santa kissed his GF in park
Gf: Plz ye sab shaadi Ke Baad
Santa: Oh Soniye Don t worry I m married
Santa Cycle Ki Break Hath Me Lekar Nach Raha Tha.
Man-Ye Kya Kar Rahe Ho?
Santa-Oye! BREAK DANCE
Tchr: Bachho batao billi
1 saath itne saare bacche kaise paida karti hai?
Kid: Mam agar aap road pe
billi ki tarha ghumo to aap ko pata chal jayega!!
wif: bus karo rat k 12 baje se kar rahe ho or subah ke 8 ho chuke hai.thake nahi
?
husbd: abhi to kuch nahi kiya ab to din rat karuga q k.mere 1000 msg free hai.