Man's candid thoughts on porn vs real sex

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MAN: Yo, not gonna lie.
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00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:08,794
- This sound...
- (COMPUTER CHIMES)
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00:02:08,796 --> 00:02:11,697
...gets me hard
as a fucking rock.
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00:02:13,566 --> 00:02:17,469
But I don't like to go too fast
right off the bat.
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00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:22,641
I'd rather work my way into it,
nice and easy.
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00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:25,310
So I'll start off
with some stills.
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00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:30,782
Then, once I'm getting into it,
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00:02:30,784 --> 00:02:32,784
I start looking for a video.
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00:02:34,921 --> 00:02:39,858
I never actually touch my cock
till I find the right clip.
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00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:41,793
Then, once I do...
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00:02:41,795 --> 00:02:44,396
...goodbye.
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For the next few minutes,
all the bullshit fades away,
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00:02:48,202 --> 00:02:52,504
and the only thing in the world
is those tits...
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00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,773
...that ass...
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00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:56,909
...the blowjob, the cowboy,
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00:02:56,911 --> 00:02:59,444
the doggy, the moneyshot,
and that's it.
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I don't gotta say anything,
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I don't gotta do anything.
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I just fucking lose myself.
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00:03:09,289 --> 00:03:13,258
There's only a few things
I really care about in life.
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My body...
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...my pad...
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...my ride...
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...my family...
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Amen.
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...my church...
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- ...my boys...
- (ALL YELLING)
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00:03:31,644 --> 00:03:34,246

...my girls...
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00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:38,417
(WOMEN MOANING)
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...and my porn.
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I know that last one sounds
weird, but I'm just being honest.
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00:03:43,991 --> 00:03:47,559
Nothing else does it for me the
same way. Not even real pussy.
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And, yo, I get plenty of that.
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Why you think my boys
call me The Don?
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- Jonny-Boy!
- Don Jon, what's good, baby?
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- What up? I'm all right.
- You good?
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Jonny, look at me.
Everything good with you?
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- What's the matter with this guy?
- Come here, you animal!
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- Get the fuck off of me!
- Real talk, real talk. Purple.
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00:04:04,678 --> 00:04:07,279
- That's not bad.
- It's better than "not bad."
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00:04:07,281 --> 00:04:09,414
- You ain't see her turn around.
- You calling her a seven?
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- An eight. At least an eight.
- That is not an eight.
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She's cute in the face,
you can maybe call the face
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- an eight, tits are a four.
- Yeah, but the butt, man,
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it's exceptional. I'm telling
you. It changes everything.
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- Shit!
- What?
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- Sequins. Don't look. Don't look.
- What? Who is that?
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00:04:22,463 --> 00:04:24,696
- You don't remember her?
- She's coming over here.
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00:04:24,698 --> 00:04:27,032
'Cause you're staring
right at her.
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00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:29,935
- (HIP-HOP PLAYS)
- WOMAN: Look who the fuck it is.
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- How you doing?
- Why didn't you call me back?
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Come on. You're a grown woman.
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00:04:34,008 --> 00:04:36,375

Did you think
I was gonna call you back?
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00:04:36,377 --> 00:04:40,412
You're pathetic, you know that?
Every week you got a new bitch.
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00:04:41,514 --> 00:04:44,650
Then why'd you
come home with me?
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Fuck you!
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- Eight.
- No, that might be a nine.
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- You shitting me? That's a seven.
- You're out of your mind!
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I gave you the eight,
your record's intact. Chill out.
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You heard what she said?
Everyone knows about the streak.
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- You're sick. You know that?
- I don't know
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- what's wrong with me.
- Oh, my... damn!
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- What? What? Where?
- Red.
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00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:03,869
- Holy shit! That's a dime.
- That is a dime.
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00:05:03,871 --> 00:05:05,771
Nah, she's hot,

but it's not a dime.
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00:05:05,773 --> 00:05:06,972
I don't even mess
with blondes like that,
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00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:08,607
but that there is a dime!
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00:05:08,609 --> 00:05:10,509
- Fuck yeah.
- I don't know, there might be
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00:05:10,511 --> 00:05:12,477
- some lasagna up in there.
- I don't think so.
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00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:14,746
Definitely not. She keep her
shit tight, you can tell.
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00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:17,082
- No. I don't know.
- See, he likes that skinny shit.
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He likes that skinny, high-fashion,
looks-like-a-boy shit.
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- Fuck you!
- Admit it!
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He's kind of right,
man, you do.
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I don't like more
than a handful of titty.
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00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:30,028
No, no, no, no, no. No. A nice handful, I
love it, but more than that, it's like no!
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Shit starts to remind me
of my mom or something.
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00:05:32,066 --> 00:05:34,966
- Jesus Christ.
- Your mom do got some big-ass titties.
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- Don't talk about my mother.
- You brought up your mother.
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If you don't like that, there's
something wrong with you.
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I didn't say I didn't like it.
I said it's not a dime.
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- That's incorrect.
- She's taller than you anyway.
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- Fuck you, Jonny.
- I'm playing, come on.
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You gonna get that?
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WOMAN: Let me get a
vodka-cranberry.
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- Jonny!
- Sammy-boy, how you doing?
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- You good?
- Let me get a Grey Goose and soda.
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00:06:05,965 --> 00:06:10,702
(HIP-HOP PLAYS)
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- What makes you think you could do that?
- Do what?
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- Get the fuck out of here.
- You wanna go somewhere?
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- Fuck you.
- You wanna fuck me?
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- Is that why you kissed me?
- I didn't kiss you.
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Yeah, you did.
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- Stop it, I mean it. Stop it.
- (LAUGHS)
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Come on. Let me buy you a drink.
It's early.
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- Where you going?
- I told you where I was going.
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Come on! Wait a minute!
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Shit!
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(HIP-HOP PLAYS)
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Yo. Headband.
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Nah, I don't know.
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(HIP-HOP PLAYS)
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(WOMAN MOANING)
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(COMPUTER CHIMES)
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JON: See?
This is what I'm saying.
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Real pussy's all good.
But I'm sorry.
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It's not as good as porn.
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Tits?
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Great.
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Ass?
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Great.
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Blowjob?
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Sure, it's fucking fantastic
in person... if she'll do it.
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00:08:03,550 --> 00:08:06,585
But in real life, if you wanna
get head, you gotta give head.
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Lower. Not that low!
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00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:12,824
JON: I know, some guys love eating pussy,
but the thing about those guys is,
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they're fucking crazy.
Don't get me wrong,
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I like a good
pussy-eating clip.
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But, from down here, there's
nothing good about this.
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(MOANING)
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JON: And if she does finally
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decide to do you
the big favor...
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...she's in a fucking hurry.
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Now, when it comes
to the actual fucking...
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First of all, condoms are
terrible. They just are.
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But you gotta wear one, 'cause,
unlike porn,
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- real pussy can kill you.
- (WOMAN MOANS)
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Second of all, missionary
is the worst position
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in all of fucking.
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The tits lie flat,
you can't see her ass,
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you can't touch her ass,
'cause she's lying on her back.
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They won't let you do it from behind,
'cause they wanna look at you.
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00:09:03,277 --> 00:09:06,177
And basically it's on me
to do all the work.
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00:09:06,179 --> 00:09:09,881
Moneyshot? No. There is no
real-life moneyshot.
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00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:13,585
Real girls won't do that shit. You just
gotta cum into the fucking condom.
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00:09:13,587 --> 00:09:18,723
(MOANING, PANTING)
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00:09:20,159 --> 00:09:23,728
JON: So, you tell me,
which looks better?
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This?
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00:09:27,934 --> 00:09:32,704
- Or this?
- (WOMAN MOANING)
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00:10:06,839 --> 00:10:09,808
(ENGINE REVVING)
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Jesus! What are you fucking retarded?!
You're fucking retarded!
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00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:24,356
You're a retarded person and
you're driving a fucking car!

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00:10:24,358 --> 00:10:28,627
(CHURCH BELL CHIMING)
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00:10:40,039 --> 00:10:42,941
(ORGAN PLAYS SOMBER MELODY)
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00:10:46,345 --> 00:10:49,080
JON: In the name of the Father, the
Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
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00:10:49,082 --> 00:10:50,782
PRIEST: Amen.
Bless you, my son.
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00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:52,717
Forgive me, Father, for
I have sinned.
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00:10:52,719 --> 00:10:54,152
It has been one week
since my last confession.
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00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:55,754
PRIEST: Tell me your sins.
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Since last Sunday,
I had sexual relations
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out of wedlock two times.
I also watched
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pornographic videos
and masturbated 17 times.
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00:11:02,396 --> 00:11:04,829
For these and all the sins
of my life, I am sorry.
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00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:07,432
- Ten Lord's Prayers and ten Hail Marys.
- Thank you, Father.
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00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:10,268

PRIEST: Through the ministry of the Church,
may God give you pardon and peace,
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and I absolve you from your sins in the name
of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
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00:11:13,807 --> 00:11:15,040
Amen.
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00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:17,208
Bullshit! Bullshit!
Did you see that?
159
00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:18,943
That was fucking bullshit.
Bad call.
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00:11:18,945 --> 00:11:21,813
- Jesus fucking Christ!
- Jon!
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00:11:21,815 --> 00:11:25,316
- Fucking bullshit. Did you see that?
- I didn't see. What happened?
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00:11:25,318 --> 00:11:27,285
They'll do a replay.
They better do a fucking replay.
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00:11:27,287 --> 00:11:29,954
Unless they just don't want us to
see how bad that fucking call was.
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00:11:29,956 --> 00:11:31,990
Why don't you get the thing
where you can pause...
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00:11:31,992 --> 00:11:34,125
- Assholes, where's the replay?!
- Dad, there's a thing you can pause
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00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:35,927
- and rewind.
- What are you talking about?
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00:11:35,929 --> 00:11:37,862
It's digital.
You just rewind and watch it.
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00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:40,398
- I'm not taping this.
- I know you're not taping it.
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00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,267
Are you people serious,
no fucking replay?!
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00:11:42,269 --> 00:11:44,903
- I'm not talking about a VCR.
- How do I know what the fuck
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00:11:44,905 --> 00:11:47,005
- you're talking about?
- I don't know, I guess 'cause
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00:11:47,007 --> 00:11:48,907
most American people
have heard of TiVo.
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00:11:48,909 --> 00:11:51,276
Most people that pay attention
to the world around them!
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00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:53,311
Here it is.
Shut up already, finally. Shit!
175
00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:55,914
- You seriously never heard of that?
- Yes!
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00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:57,482
I've heard of it,
Jesus fucking...
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00:11:57,484 --> 00:12:01,820
There! Look, his foot's on the
line! Look at that bullshit!
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00:12:01,822 --> 00:12:04,089
- WOMAN: Jon! All right already!
- So if you've heard of it,
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00:12:04,091 --> 00:12:05,757
- what is it?
- Did you see that?
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00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:07,025
I'm asking you a question.
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00:12:07,027 --> 00:12:08,226
It's a fucking thing...
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00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,028
Wait a minute.
Did you see that?
183
00:12:10,030 --> 00:12:11,129
I'm asking you. Did you?
184
00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:13,231
Nah, I didn't see it.
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00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,133
Why not?! What the fuck's
the matter with you?
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00:12:15,135 --> 00:12:19,003
I said look at this play,
I said it right to you!
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00:12:19,005 --> 00:12:21,873
I ask you to do the easiest fucking
thing, and you can't do it!
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00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:24,909
- At least I know what a TiVo is.
- I know what a fucking TiVo is!
189
00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:26,478
You want a TiVo?
Is that what you're saying?
190
00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:28,813
- I would love a fucking TiVo.
- Who do you love?
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00:12:28,815 --> 00:12:33,051
He loves TiVo. He sure as shit
don't love football. We know that.
192
00:12:35,454 --> 00:12:37,856

(SIGHS)
193
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:45,396
One of these days, I'm gonna sit down here
and start eating, and you're gonna say,
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00:12:45,398 --> 00:12:47,365
- "Mom, I found her."
- JON: Ma!
195
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:48,933
MOTHER: One of these days.
196
00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:51,269
(TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING)
197
00:12:54,039 --> 00:12:59,177
(WHISPERING) Holy Mary...
Mother of God...
198
00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:01,412
...pray for us now...
199
00:13:01,414 --> 00:13:03,815
...and at the hour of death...
200
00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:06,217
Amen.
201
00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:14,392
Hail Mary... full of grace...
202
00:13:14,394 --> 00:13:18,096
- (COMPUTER CHIMES)
- JON: All right, I'll admit, there are some down sides.
203
00:13:18,098 --> 00:13:21,933
Like there's the times you find
a great clip, with a hot chick.
204
00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:26,337
And right when you're starting
to cum, it shows the guy.
205
00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:29,474
(GRUNTING)
206
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:31,075
Fuck! Goddamn it!
207
00:13:31,077 --> 00:13:33,111
JON: It's no one's
fault, really,
208
00:13:33,113 --> 00:13:36,314
but it still sucks. So...
209
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:38,483
- Also, nowadays you got so much
210
00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:40,852
to choose from,
finding just the right clip
211
00:13:40,854 --> 00:13:43,121
can take a lot of time.
212
00:13:43,123 --> 00:13:44,989
And my time is precious to me.
213
00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:49,394
Yeah, I got shit to do. So...
214
00:13:49,396 --> 00:13:51,930
- And, every once in a while,
215
00:13:51,932 --> 00:13:56,167
you find a clip that's so good,
it's fucking depressing.
216
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:59,170
And you're thinking to yourself,
why can't real pussy be like this?
217
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:02,407
You know, I smash new girls
all the fucking time,
218
00:14:02,409 --> 00:14:06,211
always an eight or better, and it's still
never this good. What am I doing wrong?
219
00:14:06,213 --> 00:14:08,246
(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
220
00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:13,184
JON: Maybe it's time to try
something new. So...
221
00:14:15,287 --> 00:14:19,424
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
222
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:24,329
- Yo, you remember that dime from last week?
- Oh, shit.
223
00:14:24,331 --> 00:14:27,098
The blonde in the dress? She
was insane, bro. You hit that?
224
00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:29,868
No, I didn't, you fucking alcoholic,
I saw you after she left.
225
00:14:29,870 --> 00:14:32,170
- Fuck you, Jonny!
- I thought you made that happen.
226
00:14:32,172 --> 00:14:34,339
- I threw it to this other random.
- Typical.
227
00:14:34,341 --> 00:14:36,207
- Probably an eight or nine.
- Six or seven.
228
00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:38,443
Shut the fuck up!
Who'd you take home, huh?
229
00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:41,179
Twos and threes, baby. I'm
telling you, twos and threes
230
00:14:41,181 --> 00:14:42,914
are some open-minded ladies.
231
00:14:42,916 --> 00:14:45,617
- I wanna find that girl.

- You get her name?
232
00:14:45,619 --> 00:14:48,553
- Her name?
- First and last name.
233
00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:51,289
I'm looking for her name,
first and last name.
234
00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:53,851
Shit, I don't know.
You know who would?
235
00:14:55,628 --> 00:14:59,130
- Barbara Sugarman.
- Sugarman?
236
00:14:59,132 --> 00:15:00,565
Thanks, bro.
237
00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:03,401
- OK, what was it again?
- Barbara Sugarman.
238
00:15:05,471 --> 00:15:08,306
- You see her anywhere?
- No.
239
00:15:09,608 --> 00:15:11,542
- Oh, shit!
- That's her?
240
00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:14,479
- That's definitely her.
- Oh! Got you, bitch!
241
00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:16,481
What you wanna say?
You gotta say something.
242
00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:19,284
- Really?
- A girl that bad gets mad friend requests.
243
00:15:19,286 --> 00:15:23,388
- Fuck!
- I think it's dinner. Maybe even lunch.

244
00:15:23,390 --> 00:15:25,657
Might have to take this girl
out for coffee.
245
00:15:25,659 --> 00:15:27,659
- Christ!
- Yeah, this is the long game.
246
00:15:27,661 --> 00:15:29,427
You're not getting that butt
from Barbara Sugarman
247
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:31,396
anytime in
the immediate future.
248
00:15:31,398 --> 00:15:33,031
If you had it like that,
it would have went down.
249
00:15:33,033 --> 00:15:35,600
You're right.
You're totally right. Shit!
250
00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:39,137
I know, I was about to say, the mighty
Don bringing out the long game?
251
00:15:39,139 --> 00:15:41,406
- She's a dime, but...
- This girl's more than a dime.
252
00:15:41,408 --> 00:15:44,976
Come on, son. There's no such thing, that's
the point, it's a scale from one to ten.
253
00:15:44,978 --> 00:15:47,111
- I'm saying, this girl...
- Oh, my God!
254
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:51,549
- You in love with this girl already?
- Go fuck yourself.
255
00:15:56,488 --> 00:15:58,489
- Hi.
- Can I help you?

256
00:15:58,491 --> 00:16:02,293
- Yeah, two for lunch.
- Sure. Right this way.
257
00:16:09,668 --> 00:16:14,205
(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS)
258
00:16:40,032 --> 00:16:41,232
Hey.
259
00:16:42,468 --> 00:16:44,736
- How are you?
- Good. Good. How you been?
260
00:16:44,738 --> 00:16:48,272
- How did you get my Facebook?
- Oh. Getting right to it.
261
00:16:48,274 --> 00:16:50,174
- Yeah.
- I just looked up your name.
262
00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:52,176
- I didn't tell you my name.
- Obviously you did,
263
00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:54,312
- 'cause I looked it up.
- No, I definitely did not
264
00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:56,080
- tell you my name.
- Yeah, you did.
265
00:16:56,082 --> 00:16:57,782
- I think I would remember.
- No offense,
266
00:16:57,784 --> 00:16:59,450
but you were pretty wasted
the other night.
267
00:16:59,452 --> 00:17:01,219
- So was I.
- Can I get you some drinks?
268
00:17:01,221 --> 00:17:02,720
- Diet Coke, please.
- A Coke.
269
00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:04,188
Coke and a Diet Coke.
270
00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:07,225
I'll be right
back to take your order.
271
00:17:07,227 --> 00:17:09,060
I had a few drinks
the other night,
272
00:17:09,062 --> 00:17:11,562
so I may not have remembered
telling you my first name,
273
00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:13,598
but I definitely did not
tell you my last name.
274
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:15,800
- I'm telling you... Hey!
- Don't lie to me.
275
00:17:15,802 --> 00:17:18,569
Look, you don't know me, so I'm gonna
let you off the hook this time.
276
00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:22,573
But trust me, in the future you'll be much
happier if you always tell me the truth.
277
00:17:22,575 --> 00:17:24,509
Wait, wait, wait,
I'll be happier?
278
00:17:24,511 --> 00:17:27,812
You don't think I could
make you happy if I wanted to?
279
00:17:27,814 --> 00:17:31,182
So how did you
find out my name?
280
00:17:31,184 --> 00:17:33,351

- I asked around.
- You asked around about me?
281
00:17:33,353 --> 00:17:36,287
- Yeah.
- That's interesting.
282
00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:38,256
- Why?
- Why? What do you mean why?
283
00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:40,425
- Why did you ask around about me?
- 'Cause I wanted to.
284
00:17:40,427 --> 00:17:42,460
- You wanted to take me to lunch?
- Yeah.
285
00:17:42,462 --> 00:17:45,229
- Don't lie.
- OK, I asked around about you
286
00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:47,432
'cause I wanna fuck your brains out.
Is that what you want me to say?
287
00:17:47,434 --> 00:17:51,269
(CHUCKLES) Well, at least
you're being honest now.
288
00:17:51,271 --> 00:17:52,770
Let me ask you a question.
289
00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:56,207
Why did you come here, huh?
Why did you say yes to me?
290
00:17:56,209 --> 00:17:58,242
- That's a very good question.
- Yeah, so?
291
00:17:58,244 --> 00:17:59,844
You're gonna have
to wait to find out.
292
00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:02,480
- All right. I got time.

- Really? You got time?
293
00:18:02,482 --> 00:18:04,715
It seemed like you were
in a big hurry the other day.
294
00:18:04,717 --> 00:18:06,551
I can be that way
when I'm shit-faced.
295
00:18:09,354 --> 00:18:10,588
You're cute, I like you.
296
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:13,825
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
297
00:18:13,827 --> 00:18:16,427
Listen, you wanna
know the truth?
298
00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:19,363
This is the truth.
299
00:18:19,365 --> 00:18:22,533
You're the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen in my life.
300
00:18:27,506 --> 00:18:29,674
You like movies?
301
00:18:31,677 --> 00:18:35,480
JON: I don't watch
too many movies.
302
00:18:35,482 --> 00:18:40,551
I used to watch 'em a lot when I was a little
kid, before I could get my hands on any porn.
303
00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:44,622
Back then, if I wanted to see a really hot
girl, my best bet was to watch a movie.
304
00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:46,791
- That's the one you like?
- Oh, it's so great.
305
00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:48,954
- I love these two. And you?
- Yeah. They're great.
306
00:18:53,765 --> 00:18:57,802
JON: But now, I don't
really see the point.
307
00:19:01,673 --> 00:19:04,575
I don't know, I guess
I'm missing something.
308
00:19:04,577 --> 00:19:08,713
Because most people
eat that shit up.
309
00:19:10,282 --> 00:19:12,216
(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)
310
00:19:12,218 --> 00:19:14,185
The pretty woman.
311
00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:16,554
The pretty man.
312
00:19:16,556 --> 00:19:18,389
Love at first sight.
313
00:19:19,391 --> 00:19:21,425
The first kiss.
314
00:19:21,427 --> 00:19:23,261
- The breakup.
- WOMAN ONSCREEN: I felt that!
315
00:19:23,263 --> 00:19:25,496
- JON: The makeup.
- MAN ONSCREEN: I'm scared.
316
00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:26,931
JON: The expensive wedding,
317
00:19:26,933 --> 00:19:28,933
and they drive off
into the sunset.
318
00:19:28,935 --> 00:19:30,902

Everyone knows it's fake,
but they watch it
319
00:19:30,904 --> 00:19:33,538
like it's real fucking life.
320
00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:37,575
(MUSIC SWELLS)
321
00:19:37,577 --> 00:19:41,379
She was the most important thing to him.
He gave up everything for her.
322
00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:43,648
It was just meant to be.
323
00:19:43,650 --> 00:19:46,784
- I love movies like that.
- Yeah, it was great.
324
00:19:46,786 --> 00:19:51,455
He's just such a real man. And
she's so beautiful too, always.
325
00:19:51,457 --> 00:19:54,292
- Her? No, she's too skinny.
- Yeah.
326
00:19:54,294 --> 00:19:57,295
- What?
- You wanna know who's beautiful?
327
00:19:57,297 --> 00:20:00,665
328
00:20:02,734 --> 00:20:06,537
(FIREWORKS WHISTLING,
POPPING IN DISTANCE)
329
00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:19,684
- What makes you think you could do that?
- Do what?
330
00:20:26,858 --> 00:20:29,293
(MUSIC SWELLS)
331
00:20:43,709 --> 00:20:47,311

(CHURCH BELLS CHIMING)
332
00:20:52,718 --> 00:20:55,686
- (ORGAN PLAYS SOMBER MELODY)
- JON: In the name of the Father, the Son
333
00:20:55,688 --> 00:20:57,688
- and the Holy Spirit, Amen.
- PRIEST: Amen. Bless you.
334
00:20:57,690 --> 00:21:00,491
JON: Forgive me, Father,
for I have sinned.
335
00:21:00,493 --> 00:21:02,860
- It has been one week since my last confession.
- PRIEST: Tell me your sins.
336
00:21:02,862 --> 00:21:07,565
Since last Sunday I did not have
sexual relations out of wedlock.
337
00:21:07,567 --> 00:21:12,370
I did kiss a girl, this one girl,
out of wedlock, several times,
338
00:21:12,372 --> 00:21:17,775
but it's just kissing. I don't know,
I forget if that counts, so...
339
00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:20,811
Also, I watched pornographic
videos and masturbated 22 times.
340
00:21:20,813 --> 00:21:23,347
341
00:21:23,349 --> 00:21:25,950
- Ten Lord's Prayers and ten Hail Marys.
342
00:21:25,952 --> 00:21:28,819
PRIEST: Through the ministry of the Church,
343
00:21:28,821 --> 00:21:31,622
and I absolve you from your sins in

the name of the Father, of the Son
344
00:21:31,624 --> 00:21:33,691
- and the Holy Spirit.
- Amen.
345
00:21:33,693 --> 00:21:34,759
(JAZZY, SULTRY SONG PLAYING)
346
00:21:34,761 --> 00:21:36,460
 I got a fever
347
00:21:36,462 --> 00:21:37,995
 An inflammation
348
00:21:37,997 --> 00:21:40,931
 That's what I got
349
00:21:40,933 --> 00:21:43,834
 You turn the heat on me
350
00:21:43,836 --> 00:21:47,371
 Some like it hot
351
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:50,675
 Call out the engine
352
00:21:50,677 --> 00:21:52,877
 Ring up the station
353
00:21:52,879 --> 00:21:56,314
 I am on the spot...
354
00:21:56,316 --> 00:22:01,319
NARRATOR ON TV: Introducing the
charbroiled, not fried, codfish sandwich,
355
00:22:01,321 --> 00:22:03,954
only at Carl's Jr.
And Hardee's.
356
00:22:05,390 --> 00:22:08,726
 Love burns you up the most 
357
00:22:08,728 --> 00:22:12,730
- Like it or not

- NARRATOR: More than just a piece of meat.
358
00:22:12,732 --> 00:22:13,232
 Baby
359
00:22:16,969 --> 00:22:19,603
 I like it hot
360
00:22:21,673 --> 00:22:24,909
(ENGINE REVVING)
361
00:22:24,911 --> 00:22:29,380
Oh, go! Jesus.
It's a yellow light! Fuck you!
362
00:22:29,382 --> 00:22:31,449
(CAR RADIO PLAYING INDISTINCTLY)
363
00:22:31,451 --> 00:22:34,051
364
00:22:37,622 --> 00:22:40,891
(WHISPERING) Our Father...
Who art in heaven...
365
00:22:40,893 --> 00:22:43,994
...hallowed be Thy name...
Thy Kingdom come...
366
00:22:43,996 --> 00:22:45,730
...Thy will be done...
367
00:22:45,732 --> 00:22:48,766
...on earth...
as it is in heaven...
368
00:22:48,768 --> 00:22:51,769
(MOANING)
369
00:22:53,038 --> 00:22:55,005
- No.
- No... What?
370
00:22:55,007 --> 00:22:57,441
- Not out here.
- So let's go inside.
371
00:22:57,443 --> 00:22:58,776
Mm-mm.
372
00:22:58,778 --> 00:23:00,678
- Why not?
- It's not time for that yet.
373
00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:03,581
- You sure?
- Yeah. We barely know each other.
374
00:23:03,583 --> 00:23:08,686
- Yeah, we do, pretty much.
- (BOTH MOANING)
375
00:23:08,688 --> 00:23:11,956
- I don't know your friends.
- My friends?
376
00:23:11,958 --> 00:23:13,758
Mmm...
377
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:16,961
- I wanna meet your friends.
- Those guys are assholes.
378
00:23:16,963 --> 00:23:18,696
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
379
00:23:18,698 --> 00:23:22,032
And you don't know my friends.
380
00:23:22,034 --> 00:23:25,069
- Or our families.
- Wait, our families?
381
00:23:25,071 --> 00:23:28,739
Yeah. I wanna meet
your parents and your sister.
382
00:23:28,741 --> 00:23:31,509
- Oh, Jesus!
- What? You don't wanna meet my brothers
383
00:23:31,511 --> 00:23:35,646
- and my sister?
- Uh...
384
00:23:35,648 --> 00:23:40,751
- 'Cause I know they wanna meet you.
- Yeah... I bet they do.
385
00:23:40,753 --> 00:23:42,920
BARBARA: Mmm... (CHUCKLES)
386
00:23:45,757 --> 00:23:50,127
- (JON MOANS)
- Mm-hm.
387
00:23:50,129 --> 00:23:51,495
- Jon.
- Yeah?
388
00:23:51,497 --> 00:23:52,897
I can't let you
389
00:23:52,899 --> 00:23:55,199
- come inside just yet.
- No?
390
00:23:55,201 --> 00:23:58,869
No, 'cause I don't know what
that would mean. You know?
391
00:23:58,871 --> 00:24:01,939
I don't want to do anything
unless it means something.
392
00:24:01,941 --> 00:24:04,675
- Uh-huh...
- Mm...
393
00:24:04,677 --> 00:24:07,178
Don't you think it's always
better when it means something?
394
00:24:07,180 --> 00:24:09,079
- Yeah.
- Mm...
395
00:24:09,081 --> 00:24:12,783
- I think you should go back to school, baby.
- What?
396
00:24:12,785 --> 00:24:17,688
- Yeah, come on. Just a night class.
- Oh, my God!
397
00:24:17,690 --> 00:24:19,790
- Just get your degree.
- Oh!
398
00:24:19,792 --> 00:24:23,060
- You would be so sexy with a real job.
- Mm!
399
00:24:23,062 --> 00:24:26,096
- Mm-hm! Yeah...
- (GRUNTS)
400
00:24:26,098 --> 00:24:29,767
So, what do you say? You, me and
our friends, we go out sometime?
401
00:24:29,769 --> 00:24:33,604
- Oh, yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah? And our families meet, huh?
402
00:24:33,606 --> 00:24:34,538
- Oh!
- Yeah?
403
00:24:34,540 --> 00:24:36,173
- Yeah.
- Mm...
404
00:24:36,175 --> 00:24:39,176
And you take one night class for me, baby?
One little class?
405
00:24:39,178 --> 00:24:41,679
- Oh! Oh!
- Huh? Yeah? Yeah?
406
00:24:41,681 --> 00:24:45,216
- Yeah! Oh!
- Come on, baby, cum... cum...
407
00:24:45,218 --> 00:24:49,653
- (GRUNTING)
- Mm-hm! Uh-huh.
408
00:24:49,655 --> 00:24:53,123
(PANTING, GRUNTING)
409
00:24:53,125 --> 00:24:55,926
- Nice.
- Oh, Jesus...
410
00:24:55,928 --> 00:24:57,862
Yeah.
411
00:25:05,103 --> 00:25:07,705
You're so cute.
412
00:25:13,845 --> 00:25:15,813
Call me.
413
00:25:30,262 --> 00:25:32,663
(COMPUTER CHIMES)
414
00:25:50,215 --> 00:25:52,650
- Baby!
- Baby, what?
415
00:25:52,652 --> 00:25:54,218
- Baby.
- Baby...
416
00:25:54,220 --> 00:25:56,120
- You guys having a good time?
- You bitch,
417
00:25:56,122 --> 00:25:57,254
- I don't wanna hear it.
- Jesus Christ.
418
00:25:57,256 --> 00:25:58,822
A toast. Let's make a toast.
419
00:25:58,824 --> 00:26:00,224
Everyone listen up.
You get up too.
420
00:26:00,226 --> 00:26:01,859
This is for you.
Come on. Get up.
421
00:26:01,861 --> 00:26:03,594
- Oh, God.
- All right.
422
00:26:03,596 --> 00:26:05,963
You guys know tonight
is me and this girl's
423
00:26:05,965 --> 00:26:09,266
one-month anniversary. I'm
counting that from the first time
424
00:26:09,268 --> 00:26:12,136
I ever saw her, 'cause ever since
then, I've felt the same way.
425
00:26:12,138 --> 00:26:15,072
She's the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen in my life.
426
00:26:15,074 --> 00:26:16,941
- To you, baby.
- No, to us.
427
00:26:16,943 --> 00:26:18,809
- To us.
- (GLASSES CLINK)
428
00:26:18,811 --> 00:26:21,278
- Mwah. Cheers.
- ALL: Cheers!
429
00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:24,081
God bless.
430
00:26:24,083 --> 00:26:26,750
- So, what's he do?
- He's in school.
431
00:26:26,752 --> 00:26:28,919
- Oh, the family's got money?
- No, he's got a job.
432
00:26:28,921 --> 00:26:30,254
- Retail?
- No.
433
00:26:30,256 --> 00:26:31,622

- Service?
- Yeah.
434
00:26:31,624 --> 00:26:33,123
He's definitely been
435
00:26:33,125 --> 00:26:35,025
- spending time at the gym.
- Right? I know.
436
00:26:35,027 --> 00:26:36,994
- He is so disciplined.
- You guys work out together?
437
00:26:36,996 --> 00:26:40,297
- Mm-mm. No.
- Does he do that muscle guy thing
438
00:26:40,299 --> 00:26:43,300
where he's, like, looking at
himself while you're doing it?
439
00:26:43,302 --> 00:26:46,904
- Oh. We haven't done it yet.
- Shit, really?
440
00:26:46,906 --> 00:26:51,041
- Oh, my God. That's so amazing!
- All right. I like him.
441
00:26:51,043 --> 00:26:53,377
Goddamn! White shorts.
442
00:26:53,379 --> 00:26:57,247
(HIP-HOP PLAYS)
443
00:26:57,249 --> 00:26:59,683
- JON: Nah.
- What? Come on, that's a dime!
444
00:26:59,685 --> 00:27:02,152
- That's not a dime.
- I'm sorry, but I'd rather do that
445
00:27:02,154 --> 00:27:04,955
- than do yours.
- You faggot motherfucker!
446
00:27:04,957 --> 00:27:08,092
- I can like any girl I wanna.
- But she's not hotter than my girl.
447
00:27:08,094 --> 00:27:11,128
- To you, maybe not, but to me...
- Look at that. Sorry, buddy.
448
00:27:11,130 --> 00:27:14,765
- Fuck you, Jonny!
- That's the way...
449
00:27:14,767 --> 00:27:16,634
Hi.
450
00:27:30,849 --> 00:27:33,117
Shit!
451
00:27:33,119 --> 00:27:35,219
So, uh...
452
00:27:37,856 --> 00:27:40,157
- I'm sort of seeing this girl.
- (COUGHS)
453
00:27:40,159 --> 00:27:42,359
- MOTHER: What did you say?
- What do you mean, what did I say?
454
00:27:42,361 --> 00:27:44,695
- Did you say...?
- JON SR.: She asked you what you said.
455
00:27:44,697 --> 00:27:46,797
What's the matter with that? I
couldn't understand you, either.
456
00:27:46,799 --> 00:27:48,399
Speak up and talk
like a human being.
457
00:27:48,401 --> 00:27:50,167
- Shush.
- What's your problem?
458
00:27:50,169 --> 00:27:51,268
- Jon.
- What?
459
00:27:51,270 --> 00:27:52,736
Did you say you found her?
460
00:27:52,738 --> 00:27:54,972
Well, I said I'm sort of...
461
00:27:54,974 --> 00:27:56,306
Oh, my God! What's her name?
462
00:27:56,308 --> 00:27:59,410
- Barbara.
- Barbara! Barbara what?
463
00:27:59,412 --> 00:28:01,745
- JON SR.: Here we go...
- Shh! Barbara what?
464
00:28:01,747 --> 00:28:04,882
- Barbara Sugarman.
- Sugarman?
465
00:28:04,884 --> 00:28:07,151
- She a Jew?
- I don't think so.
466
00:28:07,153 --> 00:28:09,687
- You don't know?
- We haven't really talked...
467
00:28:09,689 --> 00:28:11,355
She's not Italian, we know that.
468
00:28:11,357 --> 00:28:13,724
- Sugarman. She black?
- No.
469
00:28:13,726 --> 00:28:15,225
What does she look like?
470
00:28:15,227 --> 00:28:17,394
She's the most beautiful thing
I've seen in my life.
471
00:28:17,396 --> 00:28:20,330
- Oh, boy.
- Baby! Oh! (LAUGHS)
472
00:28:20,332 --> 00:28:23,000
That's the sweetest thing
I ever heard anybody say.
473
00:28:23,002 --> 00:28:25,969
- And does she love you?
- Wait a minute. Love him? You kidding?
474
00:28:25,971 --> 00:28:28,338
- Jon, shush!
- They're kids, for Christ's sake!
475
00:28:28,340 --> 00:28:31,175
- So what?
- You know what? Don't call me a kid.
476
00:28:31,177 --> 00:28:32,910
We talked about this,
I don't appreciate it.
477
00:28:32,912 --> 00:28:35,345
- Excuse me.
- Dad, I'm asking you nicely.
478
00:28:35,347 --> 00:28:37,281
To not call you a kid?
You're a fucking kid.
479
00:28:37,283 --> 00:28:39,049
- Jon!
- Fuck you!
480
00:28:39,051 --> 00:28:42,853
- Fuck me? Did you just say fuck me to me?
- Jon!
481
00:28:42,855 --> 00:28:46,223
He said they're in love, they're in love.
It doesn't matter how old they are.
482
00:28:46,225 --> 00:28:52,362
He's older than you were when we got married. You know that?
For God's sake, he's your son!
483
00:28:54,165 --> 00:28:55,833
You love this girl?

484
00:28:57,769 --> 00:29:00,337
Yes, I do.
485
00:29:00,339 --> 00:29:03,073
Then when do we
get to meet her?
486
00:29:03,075 --> 00:29:06,009
(GASPS) Oh!
487
00:29:06,011 --> 00:29:07,478
All right, Mom, OK.
488
00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:12,015
(LAUGHS) Oh!
489
00:29:12,017 --> 00:29:15,486
WOMAN: Bella?
Sweetheart, come over here.
490
00:29:18,123 --> 00:29:23,060
Come on, let me fix your
lipstick. Here we go.
491
00:29:23,062 --> 00:29:24,895
- You look so beautiful.
- Thank you.
492
00:29:24,897 --> 00:29:27,931
- Can I get you a refill?
- You don't have to do that.
493
00:29:27,933 --> 00:29:29,500
- No, it's my pleasure.
- Jon.
494
00:29:29,502 --> 00:29:31,869
- Thank you.
- Jon, you meet Daryl?
495
00:29:31,871 --> 00:29:33,904
- Oh, wow.
- You wanna hold him?
496
00:29:33,906 --> 00:29:37,141
- I don't know...
- Come here.
497
00:29:37,143 --> 00:29:39,476
- Here you go, babe.
- OK.
498
00:29:39,478 --> 00:29:44,214
- All right. Is that good? Is that right?
- Yeah. (LAUGHS)
499
00:29:44,216 --> 00:29:46,250
You look so cute,
the two of you.
500
00:29:46,252 --> 00:29:49,887
(PANTING, MOANING)
501
00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:56,994
MAN: Barbara!
502
00:29:56,996 --> 00:29:58,495
How long have
we been up here for?
503
00:29:58,497 --> 00:30:01,532
- Not long.
- Well, I gotta go, we gotta go.
504
00:30:01,534 --> 00:30:04,968
Come on, let's go.
Come on. Come on.
505
00:30:05,570 --> 00:30:07,905
Close the door.
506
00:30:07,907 --> 00:30:13,143
OK. Let's take a break and when we get
back we'll go over the course syllabus.
507
00:30:27,225 --> 00:30:29,126
(PHONE VIBRATING)
508
00:30:29,128 --> 00:30:31,929
- Hey.
- BARBARA: Baby! How is it?
509
00:30:31,931 --> 00:30:33,897

- It's great.
- Yeah? You're on break?
510
00:30:33,899 --> 00:30:37,034
- Yeah. How did you know?
- Your schedule's online.
511
00:30:37,036 --> 00:30:40,504
- Baby, I'm just so proud of you.
- Thanks.
512
00:30:40,506 --> 00:30:42,172
- Baby?
- Yeah?
513
00:30:42,174 --> 00:30:44,541
Can I come over
when you're done?
514
00:30:44,543 --> 00:30:46,944
- You wanna come to my place?
- Mm-hm.
515
00:30:46,946 --> 00:30:49,012
- What, tonight?
- Yeah.
516
00:30:49,014 --> 00:30:50,581
OK, great.
517
00:30:50,583 --> 00:30:54,151
- You get back to class, sexy man.
- All right.
518
00:30:54,153 --> 00:30:57,187
- Bye, baby.
- OK, bye.
519
00:31:05,496 --> 00:31:08,532
(WOMAN SOBBING)
520
00:31:10,034 --> 00:31:13,070
Jesus fucking Christ!
521
00:31:18,576 --> 00:31:21,511
- Excuse me. Sorry.
- Oh, fuck, I'm sorry.
522
00:31:21,513 --> 00:31:23,480
It's fine. It's fine.
523
00:31:31,890 --> 00:31:34,324
- Hi, baby.
- Hey.
524
00:31:34,326 --> 00:31:38,328
(ROMANTIC MUSIC SWELLS)
525
00:32:04,422 --> 00:32:07,658
- It's OK. I'll be right back.
- Baby...
526
00:32:18,970 --> 00:32:20,304
(COMPUTER CHIMES)
527
00:32:20,306 --> 00:32:23,607
JON: I'm in love with Barbara.
I am.
528
00:32:23,609 --> 00:32:26,376
And tonight,
I finally got to fuck her.
529
00:32:26,378 --> 00:32:31,048
But I'm sorry to say,
it's still not as good as porn.
530
00:32:31,050 --> 00:32:32,516
Tits?
531
00:32:34,319 --> 00:32:36,586
Best ever.
532
00:32:36,588 --> 00:32:38,322
Ass?
533
00:32:40,024 --> 00:32:42,192
Best ever.
534
00:32:42,194 --> 00:32:44,027
- Blowjob?
- (WOMAN MOANS)
535
00:32:50,735 --> 00:32:56,206

Shit. Good luck. A girl that hot?
She doesn't have to give head.
536
00:32:56,208 --> 00:33:00,344
(MAN, WOMAN MOANING)
537
00:33:00,346 --> 00:33:04,681
For her, she just wants to go from
kissing, to naked kissing, to fucking.
538
00:33:04,683 --> 00:33:08,418
- (MOANING)
- Or, you know, making love.
539
00:33:08,420 --> 00:33:11,455
And when I say "making love,"
I mean...
540
00:33:11,457 --> 00:33:14,024
...missionary fucking.
541
00:33:14,026 --> 00:33:16,493
No doggie. No cowboy.
542
00:33:16,495 --> 00:33:18,996
- BARBARA: What the fuck are you doing?
- Baby!
543
00:33:18,998 --> 00:33:21,231
- What the fuck are you doing?
- I was reading e-mails.
544
00:33:21,233 --> 00:33:24,067
- You weren't. You were watching porno!
- That's not what that was.
545
00:33:24,069 --> 00:33:25,402
- I saw you!
- But, baby...
546
00:33:25,404 --> 00:33:27,237
Don't call me that. Oh, my God!
547
00:33:27,239 --> 00:33:28,372
That's the most disgusting thing
I've ever seen in my life!
548
00:33:28,374 --> 00:33:30,374
Wait, don't go right now!
549
00:33:30,376 --> 00:33:32,442
I don't even know what that is.
That's sick...
550
00:33:32,444 --> 00:33:35,045
- But, baby, I'm telling you...
- Don't call me that!
551
00:33:35,047 --> 00:33:37,748
But I'm telling you, that thing
I was watching was just a joke!
552
00:33:37,750 --> 00:33:41,518
Some dumb-ass buddy of mine sent
it to me as a joke. Come on!
553
00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:45,155
You think I'm the kind of guy
that watches porn?
554
00:33:46,257 --> 00:33:48,025
No, you didn't
seem like that type.
555
00:33:48,027 --> 00:33:49,693
Right. 'Cause fucking
losers watch porn,
556
00:33:49,695 --> 00:33:52,262
- guys that can't get laid.
- Well, no. My friends'
557
00:33:52,264 --> 00:33:54,564
boyfriends are watching porno
on the Internet all the time,
558
00:33:54,566 --> 00:33:57,067
- it's fucking disgusting.
- It's stupid is what that is.
559
00:33:57,069 --> 00:34:00,404
Why would they watch porn when
they can get with a real girl?
560
00:34:00,406 --> 00:34:03,440

- So you don't do that normally?
- No.
561
00:34:03,442 --> 00:34:05,809
When was the last time
you did that before this?
562
00:34:05,811 --> 00:34:08,812
(SCOFFS) I don't even know.
When I was a kid or something.
563
00:34:08,814 --> 00:34:11,214
You're never gonna do it again?
564
00:34:11,216 --> 00:34:16,119
No. Why would I?
565
00:34:16,121 --> 00:34:18,755
- Promise?
- I promise.
566
00:34:18,757 --> 00:34:20,724
Baby...
567
00:34:22,093 --> 00:34:23,493
I love you.
568
00:34:31,636 --> 00:34:34,137
Come here.
569
00:35:11,876 --> 00:35:15,312
- (COMPUTER CHIMES)
- JON: It's not that I can't stop.
570
00:35:15,314 --> 00:35:18,849
I just figure, why should I? I mean,
my girlfriend doesn't like it.
571
00:35:18,851 --> 00:35:20,684
So she doesn't
have to know about it.
572
00:35:20,686 --> 00:35:22,819
It's not like
I'm cheating on her.
573
00:35:22,821 --> 00:35:25,122

I don't do it
when she's around.
574
00:35:29,393 --> 00:35:31,161
And everything's fine.
575
00:35:33,531 --> 00:35:38,301
She has been spending a lot of time at
my place, though. So I looked into it.
576
00:35:38,303 --> 00:35:43,173
And it's pretty amazing how easy it
is to get porn on-the-go these days.
577
00:35:43,175 --> 00:35:45,775
- So...
- (MOANING)
578
00:35:52,817 --> 00:35:55,652
(NO AUDIO)
579
00:35:55,654 --> 00:35:59,623
- Excuse me? Sorry, were you on your phone?
- No.
580
00:35:59,625 --> 00:36:01,892
- I'm Esther.
- Good to meet you.
581
00:36:01,894 --> 00:36:04,361
- What's your name?
- Jon.
582
00:36:04,363 --> 00:36:06,429
- I hope I'm not bothering you.
- No, it's fine.
583
00:36:06,431 --> 00:36:09,166
I just wanted to apologize.
I don't know if you remember,
584
00:36:09,168 --> 00:36:12,202
you caught me in a kind of an
inopportune moment last week.
585
00:36:12,204 --> 00:36:15,272
- When I was sobbing by the door?
- Oh! Yeah, sorry,

586
00:36:15,274 --> 00:36:18,508
- I'm sorry about that.
- Please, don't. Please, don't you apologize.
587
00:36:18,510 --> 00:36:20,243
You didn't do anything wrong.
588
00:36:20,245 --> 00:36:22,712
- I felt like I should say something.
- OK. Well...
589
00:36:22,714 --> 00:36:26,650
Because I've been thinking about it,
a lot actually, and I realized that,
590
00:36:26,652 --> 00:36:30,554
you know, nobody's seen me
like that in, like, six months,
591
00:36:30,556 --> 00:36:33,490
- and it's not like it's rare...
- TEACHER: Good evening, everyone.
592
00:36:33,492 --> 00:36:37,394
(WHISPERING) ...a rare occurrence,
I mean, I do that all the time,
593
00:36:37,396 --> 00:36:41,865
I'm crying all the time. It's just
something that I do in private now.
594
00:36:41,867 --> 00:36:45,202
On the one hand,
you go there when you go there.
595
00:36:45,204 --> 00:36:48,338
On the other hand, it's really
fucked up to keep it hidden, right?
596
00:36:48,340 --> 00:36:51,274
That's what became clear to me
when you startled me.
597
00:36:51,276 --> 00:36:53,910
You didn't, you didn't mean
to startle me, you walked by,
598
00:36:53,912 --> 00:36:57,547
but I just...
so I wanted to say thank you.
599
00:36:57,549 --> 00:37:01,351
Were you... I'm sorry,
this might be rude,
600
00:37:01,353 --> 00:37:02,986
but were you watching
people fucking on your phone?
601
00:37:02,988 --> 00:37:06,223
- What? No!
- It's OK if you were. I'm not judging you.
602
00:37:06,225 --> 00:37:09,426
- Lady, I'm just here to take this class.
- Did you just call me "lady"?
603
00:37:09,428 --> 00:37:12,362
So you take care.
604
00:37:12,364 --> 00:37:14,497
Oh, yeah. Sorry. Say no more.
605
00:37:19,470 --> 00:37:22,405
- I'm sorry.
- No, it's fine.
606
00:37:35,519 --> 00:37:38,755
What, are you fucking kidding me?!
You're fucking kidding me, right?!
607
00:37:38,757 --> 00:37:40,490
- Baby!
- What?
608
00:37:40,492 --> 00:37:42,826
(RADIO PLAYS INDISTINCTLY)
609
00:37:52,403 --> 00:37:56,473
I feel like I should leave my jacket in the car.
Maybe not. Should I bring it?
610
00:37:56,475 --> 00:37:58,942
- Yeah, whatever you want.

- Oh...
611
00:37:58,944 --> 00:38:01,478
- I'm nervous. That's all.
- Why you nervous?
612
00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:03,380
- I don't know...
- You got nothing to be nervous about.
613
00:38:03,382 --> 00:38:06,383
You look beautiful.
God, you look beautiful.
614
00:38:06,385 --> 00:38:08,685
Oh. (LAUGHS)
615
00:38:08,687 --> 00:38:11,021
- Are you ready? Go ahead.
- Yeah. All right.
616
00:38:12,456 --> 00:38:14,291
- Hi, Mom.
- MOTHER: Hi.
617
00:38:14,293 --> 00:38:17,761
Oh, hello, hello!
You must be Barbara.
618
00:38:17,763 --> 00:38:22,599
- Hi, Mrs. Martello. For you.
- Thank you, and please call me Angie.
619
00:38:22,601 --> 00:38:28,505
Come in, come in. Jon! Jonny's here!
Come say hello to your son!
620
00:38:28,507 --> 00:38:31,541
- Please.
- Let me get by you there, babe.
621
00:38:31,543 --> 00:38:36,413
Dad? I would like you to meet
Barbara. Baby, this is my dad.
622
00:38:36,415 --> 00:38:39,349
- Hi, Mr. Martello.
- Hey, good to meet you.

623
00:38:39,351 --> 00:38:41,718
- Jesus Christ!
- Jon!
624
00:38:41,720 --> 00:38:45,322
Oh, I... I wasn't expecting
such a lovely lady, that's all.
625
00:38:45,324 --> 00:38:48,425
Thank you. It's so nice
to finally meet you both.
626
00:38:48,427 --> 00:38:50,660
My pleasure, my pleasure.
627
00:38:50,662 --> 00:38:53,730
Well, please sit down
and I will be right back.
628
00:38:53,732 --> 00:38:57,901
- Can I help you with anything at all?
- Oh! I love her already.
629
00:38:57,903 --> 00:39:02,972
- Yes, please, sweetie, come on.
- JON: You want me to take that, babe?
630
00:39:02,974 --> 00:39:05,742
- Hey, hey, Jonny-boy!
- She's cute, right?
631
00:39:05,744 --> 00:39:08,111
Are you fucking kidding me? You
didn't tell me you were bringing home
632
00:39:08,113 --> 00:39:11,548
- a piece of ass like that!
- I told you she was the most beautiful thing
633
00:39:11,550 --> 00:39:14,117
- I've ever seen in my life.
- Yeah, you told me, but I mean,
634
00:39:14,119 --> 00:39:16,453
Jesus Christ, those tits!
They're real?
635
00:39:16,455 --> 00:39:19,789
- Yeah, they're real.
- Oh! Fuck me!
636
00:39:19,791 --> 00:39:23,960
- ANGIE: Did you clear the table?
- Yeah, yeah. Here, honey.
637
00:39:23,962 --> 00:39:27,097
Let me move this here,
so you can put that right there.
638
00:39:27,099 --> 00:39:30,834
- Right here?
- Right there. That's perfect.
639
00:39:33,471 --> 00:39:36,139
BARBARA: So tell me.
Tell me, how did it go?
640
00:39:36,141 --> 00:39:39,676
ANGIE: I was out with some girlfriends.
We went to see some band.
641
00:39:39,678 --> 00:39:41,578
Back then you used to see bands
when you went out.
642
00:39:41,580 --> 00:39:45,081
- Honey, what band was it?
- You think I remember?
643
00:39:45,083 --> 00:39:48,651
It was 28 years ago, and I
didn't even give a shit then.
644
00:39:48,653 --> 00:39:50,854
Anyway, I saw him early
in the night,
645
00:39:50,856 --> 00:39:53,823
I don't know if he saw me
till later, but I saw him.
646
00:39:53,825 --> 00:39:56,726
And I saw her,
you couldn't miss her.
647
00:39:56,728 --> 00:39:59,996
- She was like you.
- Thank you.
648
00:39:59,998 --> 00:40:02,465
- You know what I said?
- Listen to this.
649
00:40:02,467 --> 00:40:07,404
I said right then, right
when I saw her, I said...
650
00:40:07,406 --> 00:40:09,072
..."That's mine."
651
00:40:09,074 --> 00:40:12,776
- Oh, God.
- ANGIE: Yup. And he was right.
652
00:40:12,778 --> 00:40:14,811
Can you... Well,
that's beautiful.
653
00:40:14,813 --> 00:40:17,981
- Oh! Big play! Look at that!
- OK, Jon.
654
00:40:17,983 --> 00:40:20,683
- All right, Dad.
- All right, yeah.
655
00:40:20,685 --> 00:40:24,421
- Good job, big guy.
- Sweetie, so nice to meet you.
656
00:40:24,423 --> 00:40:28,091
- Bye, Mr. Martello.
- Please call me Jon.
657
00:40:28,093 --> 00:40:30,193
OK, Mom.
658
00:40:30,195 --> 00:40:31,761
- All right, babe?
- Oh! Bye.
659
00:40:31,763 --> 00:40:33,029

- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
660
00:40:33,031 --> 00:40:35,865
- Bye-bye.
- Drive safe.
661
00:40:35,867 --> 00:40:41,471
- I love her! I love her!
- Pretty good, huh? Not bad at all.
662
00:40:41,473 --> 00:40:44,874
663
00:40:56,720 --> 00:40:59,789
- (ORGAN PLAYS SOMBER MELODY)
- JON: In the name of the Father,
664
00:40:59,791 --> 00:41:01,458
the Son and the Holy Spirit,
Amen.
665
00:41:01,460 --> 00:41:03,493
PRIEST: Amen.
Bless you, my son.
666
00:41:03,495 --> 00:41:05,228
Forgive me, Father, for I have
sinned. It has been one week
667
00:41:05,230 --> 00:41:07,096
- since my last confession.
- PRIEST: Tell me your sins.
668
00:41:07,098 --> 00:41:10,066
Since last Sunday,
I had sexual intercourse
669
00:41:10,068 --> 00:41:11,901
out of wedlock seven times.
670
00:41:11,903 --> 00:41:15,205
But... I stopped watching porn.
671
00:41:15,207 --> 00:41:19,742
Yeah, no more of that,
just the intercourse now.
672
00:41:19,744 --> 00:41:21,544
So...
673
00:41:21,546 --> 00:41:24,614
For these and all the sins of my
life, I am sorry.
674
00:41:24,616 --> 00:41:27,650
- Five Lord's Prayers and five Hail Marys.
675
00:41:27,652 --> 00:41:30,653
PRIEST: Through the ministry of the Church,
676
00:41:30,655 --> 00:41:33,056
and I absolve you from your sins in
the name of the Father, of the Son
677
00:41:33,058 --> 00:41:35,625
- and the Holy Spirit.
- Amen.
678
00:41:35,627 --> 00:41:40,263
TEACHER: Very good. OK, when we come back,
we'll go over employee personality testing.
679
00:41:40,265 --> 00:41:42,732
Go ahead, take a break.
680
00:41:45,603 --> 00:41:48,771
- Hi. Mind if I sit down?
- You know, actually, I...
681
00:41:48,773 --> 00:41:50,740
- I brought you something.
- You what?
682
00:41:50,742 --> 00:41:52,642
- What's that?
- Open it.
683
00:41:52,644 --> 00:41:54,644
- I don't want to take that from you.
- No, no, open it.
684
00:41:54,646 --> 00:41:57,046

It's something silly.
It's a little thing. Go ahead.
685
00:41:57,048 --> 00:41:58,982
All right. I'll open it.
686
00:42:00,651 --> 00:42:03,052
- What the fuck is this?
- It's actually pretty good.
687
00:42:03,054 --> 00:42:05,021
- What is the matter with you?
- Have you seen it?
688
00:42:05,023 --> 00:42:07,657
- Are you crazy?
- It was made by this Danish woman
689
00:42:07,659 --> 00:42:12,295
in the '70s. It's probably not what you're
used to looking at, but it's pretty hot.
690
00:42:12,297 --> 00:42:16,065
OK. Look, I have a girlfriend,
all right? So...
691
00:42:16,067 --> 00:42:19,936
I'm sorry, did you think I was
hitting on you? Because I'm not.
692
00:42:19,938 --> 00:42:23,239
- Will you just take this?
- I didn't mean for it to be a big thing.
693
00:42:23,241 --> 00:42:26,743
I thought you could use something better than
that shit you're watching on your phone.
694
00:42:26,745 --> 00:42:29,679
- (SCOFFS)
- Am I right?
695
00:42:29,681 --> 00:42:32,615
If you have a girlfriend, why
are you watching dirty movies?
696
00:42:32,617 --> 00:42:35,084
- What?
- I'm just asking.
697
00:42:35,086 --> 00:42:38,321
- You're fucking weird, you know that?
- I don't entirely disagree,
698
00:42:38,323 --> 00:42:40,156
but you're the one who's
gonna pretend you're texting
699
00:42:40,158 --> 00:42:42,258
while you watch people pretend
they're fucking on your phone!
700
00:42:42,260 --> 00:42:44,627
The shit I watch on here,
they're not pretending.
701
00:42:44,629 --> 00:42:47,230
Of course they are.
702
00:42:49,166 --> 00:42:51,601
703
00:42:55,573 --> 00:42:57,807
(WHISPERING) Forgive us
our trespasses...
704
00:42:57,809 --> 00:43:01,711
...as we forgive those...
who trespass against us...
705
00:43:01,713 --> 00:43:06,783
...and lead us not...
into temptation...
706
00:43:06,785 --> 00:43:08,251
...but deliver us from evil...
707
00:43:08,253 --> 00:43:10,053
- Baby?
- Huh?
708
00:43:10,055 --> 00:43:12,922
What are you doing?
You talking to yourself?
709
00:43:12,924 --> 00:43:15,191
- Yo, Jonny, you coming out tonight?
- That's dubious.
710
00:43:15,193 --> 00:43:17,894
I'm gonna wait for Barbara to call.
We're gonna meet up for dinner.
711
00:43:17,896 --> 00:43:20,363
- This fucking guy. Come on!
- What did you think he was gonna say?
712
00:43:20,365 --> 00:43:23,199
I thought he still had a pair of
balls hanging between his legs.
713
00:43:23,201 --> 00:43:26,235
You sound so fucking stupid to me
right now, I feel sorry for you.
714
00:43:26,237 --> 00:43:28,371
- Fuck you.
- I do. I feel sorry for you.
715
00:43:28,373 --> 00:43:31,040
You never been in love, so you don't
know what you're talking about.
716
00:43:31,042 --> 00:43:33,176
Hold up. Wait a minute. In love?
717
00:43:33,178 --> 00:43:35,778
When you really love a girl,
there's a lot that goes into it.
718
00:43:35,780 --> 00:43:37,847
- You're saying you love her?
- Of course I love her.
719
00:43:37,849 --> 00:43:40,817
- I never heard you say you loved her.
- You weren't paying attention.
720
00:43:40,819 --> 00:43:43,853
I've been in love with this girl
since the first time I saw her.
721
00:43:43,855 --> 00:43:45,955

Why would I wanna go out
and try to pull randoms?
722
00:43:45,957 --> 00:43:47,991
None of 'em are gonna
look as good as my girl,
723
00:43:47,993 --> 00:43:49,959
none of 'em are gonna fuck me
as good as my girl.
724
00:43:49,961 --> 00:43:51,828
- Really?
- Yeah, really.
725
00:43:51,830 --> 00:43:54,163
- So she's good?
- What did I say? Yeah, she's good.
726
00:43:54,165 --> 00:43:55,999
- She's the best.
- So you titty-fuck her?
727
00:43:56,001 --> 00:43:59,769
Bro, she lets me do
whatever the fuck I want.
728
00:43:59,771 --> 00:44:02,372
This is what I'm trying to tell
you, if you would listen to me.
729
00:44:02,374 --> 00:44:06,376
I'm telling you guys something. You
be a man, you do the right thing,
730
00:44:06,378 --> 00:44:09,679
you find the right girl
and you treat her the right way?
731
00:44:09,681 --> 00:44:13,049
Watch what happens.
Best sex of your life.
732
00:44:13,051 --> 00:44:14,150
Hey, baby.
733
00:44:14,152 --> 00:44:16,886
- Hey.
- Hi.
734
00:44:16,888 --> 00:44:20,857
- I love it when you wear this shit.
- Oh, you're crazy.
735
00:44:23,861 --> 00:44:25,895
- You good?
- Yeah. You order anything yet?
736
00:44:25,897 --> 00:44:28,431
- No, I waited for you.
- Sweet.
737
00:44:30,401 --> 00:44:32,902
- Oh, fuck!
- Who's that?
738
00:44:32,904 --> 00:44:36,406
It's Linda. She's
been fighting with Chris.
739
00:44:36,408 --> 00:44:38,408
I don't think
they're gonna work out.
740
00:44:38,410 --> 00:44:41,778
- You remember Linda and Chris, yeah?
- Yeah, yeah.
741
00:44:41,780 --> 00:44:45,381
- I thought they were cute together, no?
- Sure. They seemed pretty good.
742
00:44:45,383 --> 00:44:48,751
She's 28 years old. She put like four years
into the guy already. It's terrible.
743
00:44:48,753 --> 00:44:51,754
- (MOANING)
- How did you get off work tonight?
744
00:44:51,756 --> 00:44:53,723
I got Stevie to cover my shift.
745
00:44:53,725 --> 00:44:56,059
- Stevie?
- Yeah, he needed the hours.

746
00:44:56,061 --> 00:44:59,395
- I don't think I know Stevie, no?
- I don't think you met him.
747
00:44:59,397 --> 00:45:03,332
- Oh! I wish somebody would cover for me.
- See? What did I tell you?
748
00:45:03,334 --> 00:45:05,868
The service industry,
it's not a bad thing.
749
00:45:05,870 --> 00:45:07,904
Come on, you're gonna
look so good in a suit.
750
00:45:07,906 --> 00:45:10,206
- I don't know.
- What? Please.
751
00:45:10,208 --> 00:45:12,108
If Armando can do it,
that man is such an asshole.
752
00:45:12,110 --> 00:45:15,378
- (MOANING)
- He treats women like they're trash, but...
753
00:45:15,380 --> 00:45:18,881
...he makes six figures.
754
00:45:18,883 --> 00:45:22,318
Well, he's got a pretty good life, no?
If he could do it, you could do it.
755
00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:25,354
- (MOANING)
- Hey, baby.
756
00:45:25,356 --> 00:45:29,358
You're a winner, right?
You respect people.
757
00:45:29,360 --> 00:45:30,960
- You listen to people.
- (MOANING)
758
00:45:30,962 --> 00:45:34,163
- You think so?
- I know so, mister.
759
00:45:34,165 --> 00:45:36,733
(MOANING)
760
00:45:53,117 --> 00:45:54,217
(HORN HONKING)
761
00:45:54,219 --> 00:45:57,286
Fucking 'caused it! Fuck!
762
00:46:36,860 --> 00:46:40,229
(PHONE VIBRATING)
763
00:46:45,402 --> 00:46:47,370
Hi, babe.
764
00:46:47,372 --> 00:46:50,339
I don't know which ones to get.
Baby, what do you think?
765
00:46:50,341 --> 00:46:53,509
That depends. You gonna
drill into your wall?
766
00:46:53,511 --> 00:46:55,278
I don't know.
767
00:46:55,280 --> 00:46:58,080
- You don't have a drill, do you?
- No.
768
00:46:58,082 --> 00:47:01,317
Nah, I didn't think so. My dad
has got a pretty good one.
769
00:47:01,319 --> 00:47:03,519
If you want me, I can borrow
his, I'll do it for you.
770
00:47:03,521 --> 00:47:08,024
- You gonna drill into my wall for me?
- Whatever you want, babe.
771
00:47:10,260 --> 00:47:13,396
You decide what color. I'm gonna
meet you at the registers.
772
00:47:13,398 --> 00:47:15,464
I wanna pick up a few things
in cleaning products.
773
00:47:15,466 --> 00:47:16,899
Where are you going?
774
00:47:16,901 --> 00:47:18,534
- What?
- Where are you going?
775
00:47:18,536 --> 00:47:20,436
I'm almost out of Swiffer pads.
I'm gonna pick a few up.
776
00:47:20,438 --> 00:47:22,338
- (LAUGHS) What pads?
- For the Swiffer.
777
00:47:22,340 --> 00:47:25,074
- I don't know what that is.
- You don't know the Swiffer?
778
00:47:25,076 --> 00:47:27,210
- What is that? No.
- Seriously? It's the best.
779
00:47:27,212 --> 00:47:29,245
You gotta try it.
What do you do for your floors?
780
00:47:29,247 --> 00:47:31,480
You got those nice floors at
your place. What, do you mop?
781
00:47:31,482 --> 00:47:35,017
- No.
- What do you do?
782
00:47:35,019 --> 00:47:38,888
- I don't know. I sweep it up with a broom.
- No, I mean to really clean it.
783
00:47:38,890 --> 00:47:42,391

- I don't know. The housekeeper does it.
- Oh, right.
784
00:47:42,393 --> 00:47:45,094
- Listen, I'll just be a second, OK?
- No, no, no. Come here.
785
00:47:45,096 --> 00:47:48,097
- What?
- You're not gonna go buy a mop right now.
786
00:47:48,099 --> 00:47:50,566
- It's embarrassing.
- No, I told you, it's not a mop.
787
00:47:50,568 --> 00:47:52,401
- It's these pads.
- I don't care.
788
00:47:52,403 --> 00:47:54,270
You shouldn't be doing
your own housework.
789
00:47:54,272 --> 00:47:56,172
- Why not?
- 'Cause you're a grown man.
790
00:47:56,174 --> 00:47:58,407
You shouldn't be
cleaning your own floors.
791
00:47:58,409 --> 00:48:00,142
Why? I enjoy doing it.
792
00:48:00,144 --> 00:48:02,078
You know what? I'll call
Rosa. She'll do your place.
793
00:48:02,080 --> 00:48:04,981
- Who?
- Rosa, my cleaning lady, she's great.
794
00:48:04,983 --> 00:48:07,483
Babe, no. Thanks, but
I like doing it myself.
795
00:48:07,485 --> 00:48:09,986
Are you kidding me?

You don't got to be doing that.
796
00:48:09,988 --> 00:48:12,588
She won't do it right anyway. You
gotta vacuum my carpet a certain way,
797
00:48:12,590 --> 00:48:15,258
- or else it looks...
- Don't talk about vacuuming in front of me.
798
00:48:15,260 --> 00:48:18,261
- Why? What's wrong?
- Why? Because it's not sexy, that's why.
799
00:48:18,263 --> 00:48:20,429
You're not listening to me.
I like my place, OK?
800
00:48:20,431 --> 00:48:22,098
I'm proud of it,
I like to take care of it.
801
00:48:22,100 --> 00:48:23,232
I don't care. We're not having
802
00:48:23,234 --> 00:48:24,667
this discussion right now.
803
00:48:24,669 --> 00:48:26,469
There's only a few things
I really care about...
804
00:48:26,471 --> 00:48:29,305
We're not talking
about this anymore.
805
00:48:34,611 --> 00:48:37,380
- Fine, let's drop it.
- Good.
806
00:48:40,017 --> 00:48:42,351
Those ones.
807
00:48:42,353 --> 00:48:44,687
- You want those?
- Yeah.
808
00:48:47,591 --> 00:48:49,625
Come here. Listen to me.
809
00:48:49,627 --> 00:48:53,262
When we're living together,
you're not...
810
00:48:53,264 --> 00:48:56,532
...going to be doing...
any cleaning.
811
00:48:57,467 --> 00:48:59,368
Come on.
812
00:49:11,949 --> 00:49:16,252
Jon? Excuse me. Look, I know
you don't wanna talk to me.
813
00:49:16,254 --> 00:49:18,120
I would leave you alone,
but I swear to God,
814
00:49:18,122 --> 00:49:20,456
I just fell asleep during
that entire class.
815
00:49:20,458 --> 00:49:23,526
The whole fucking thing.
Can I copy your notes?
816
00:49:23,528 --> 00:49:27,096
I'd ask somebody else, but everyone
in the class are like children.
817
00:49:27,098 --> 00:49:31,367
I'm not calling you old.
It'll take like five minutes...
818
00:49:31,369 --> 00:49:34,403
- Do you mind?
- Fine.
819
00:49:34,405 --> 00:49:37,440
Thank you so much. Do you wanna go somewhere?
There's a caf...
820
00:49:37,442 --> 00:49:40,209
My girlfriend's
waiting at home, so...
821
00:49:40,211 --> 00:49:43,346
Oh. OK, well, then I'll...
OK, I'll do this.
822
00:49:51,321 --> 00:49:55,658
I really shouldn't get so high after
lunch if I'm gonna be coming here later.
823
00:49:57,227 --> 00:49:59,562
You're probably right.
824
00:49:59,564 --> 00:50:04,200
- It is pretty boring, don't you think?
- What?
825
00:50:04,202 --> 00:50:08,537
- I said this class is pretty fucking boring.
- Oh. Yep.
826
00:50:08,539 --> 00:50:11,140
Like they're teaching
you to be a robot.
827
00:50:14,277 --> 00:50:17,513
- Why are you here?
- Hm?
828
00:50:17,515 --> 00:50:21,217
- Why did you pick this class?
- I didn't.
829
00:50:21,219 --> 00:50:23,352
What?
830
00:50:23,354 --> 00:50:26,756
No, it seemed like a good idea.
I'm in the service industry now.
831
00:50:26,758 --> 00:50:29,325
- You mean you're a waiter?
- No.
832
00:50:29,327 --> 00:50:31,694
- Bartender?
- Yeah, so, if you wanna move up,
833
00:50:31,696 --> 00:50:33,729
- you gotta go to school.
- Right.
834
00:50:33,731 --> 00:50:39,368
But what do you mean you
didn't pick this class?
835
00:50:39,370 --> 00:50:42,271
- No, I did.
- Did somebody pick it for you?
836
00:50:42,273 --> 00:50:44,740
- No!
- Was it your parents or your girlfriend?
837
00:50:44,742 --> 00:50:46,709
- What is it with you? Huh?
- No, I just...
838
00:50:46,711 --> 00:50:49,211
- I was wondering...
- I'm doing something polite...
839
00:50:49,213 --> 00:50:51,580
That's mine.
840
00:50:51,582 --> 00:50:54,283
OK. Sorry.
841
00:50:57,687 --> 00:51:00,423
Jesus! (LAUGHS)
842
00:51:00,425 --> 00:51:05,161
- Oh, man! Oh, God!
- (ENGINE REVVING)
843
00:51:10,600 --> 00:51:14,503
- Hey, baby.
- Hi, Jon.
844
00:51:14,505 --> 00:51:17,740
What's wrong?
845
00:51:17,742 --> 00:51:20,276
Remember when we
first started dating?

846
00:51:20,278 --> 00:51:24,246
What's the one thing I asked?
I said, "Don't lie to me."
847
00:51:24,248 --> 00:51:27,483
- All right, who's talking shit about me?
- Nobody said anything.
848
00:51:27,485 --> 00:51:32,188
- You gotta help me out...
- You looked at 46 porno sites today, Jon.
849
00:51:32,190 --> 00:51:34,623
- Just today.
- I don't know what you're talking about.
850
00:51:34,625 --> 00:51:37,493
- Don't fucking lie to me!
- I don't know who told you that!
851
00:51:37,495 --> 00:51:40,129
Nobody said anything. It's
right there in your history!
852
00:51:40,131 --> 00:51:43,566
All you do is look at porno.
That's all you fucking do!
853
00:51:43,568 --> 00:51:48,137
- Wait, wait. My what?
- It's in your history.
854
00:51:48,139 --> 00:51:50,406
In your browser?
855
00:51:50,408 --> 00:51:53,209
Come on, don't tell me you don't
know what your history is.
856
00:51:53,211 --> 00:51:56,245
No. Of course you don't, 'cause if
you did, you would have erased it,
857
00:51:56,247 --> 00:51:57,613
like a good little phony. Here.
858
00:51:57,615 --> 00:52:02,451
There. Go ahead,
look. Go ahead.
859
00:52:06,857 --> 00:52:09,725
- Baby, I...
- Please, no, don't call me that.
860
00:52:09,727 --> 00:52:12,795
- I love you.
- Don't ever say that to me, ever again.
861
00:52:12,797 --> 00:52:15,297
- What do you want me to say?
- What do I want you to say?
862
00:52:15,299 --> 00:52:18,834
How about, "I'm sorry I've been
lying to you since the first day"
863
00:52:18,836 --> 00:52:21,570
- that we started dating"? How about that?
- I'm sorry. I am.
864
00:52:21,572 --> 00:52:24,306
How about,
"I'm sorry I have more sex
865
00:52:24,308 --> 00:52:26,308
with that thing than
I do with my girlfriend"?
866
00:52:26,310 --> 00:52:29,745
First of all, everybody
watches porn, OK? All guys.
867
00:52:29,747 --> 00:52:31,714
Any guy tells you he doesn't
is lying to you.
868
00:52:31,716 --> 00:52:33,716
- You are so full of shit!
- Second of all...
869
00:52:33,718 --> 00:52:37,453
- You are full of shit!
- Second of all, you know damn well
870
00:52:37,455 --> 00:52:39,421
- we do it all the fucking time!
- Yeah, I know we do.
871
00:52:39,423 --> 00:52:42,291
- Whenever you want!
- So what the fuck is wrong with you?
872
00:52:42,293 --> 00:52:44,793
What the fuck are you doing?
How do you watch that shit?
873
00:52:44,795 --> 00:52:47,196
I don't know! OK? I don't know!
874
00:52:47,198 --> 00:52:49,899
How do you watch all the stupid
fucking movies you watch?
875
00:52:49,901 --> 00:52:51,867
How do I watch movies?
What are you talking about?
876
00:52:51,869 --> 00:52:54,537
I'm saying, you probably watch
that shit as much as I watch porn.
877
00:52:54,539 --> 00:52:56,705
What are you saying? That has
nothing to do with anything!
878
00:52:56,707 --> 00:53:00,376
- I'm just saying...
- Jon, movies and porno are different!
879
00:53:00,378 --> 00:53:03,212
- They give awards for movies!
- They give awards for porn too.
880
00:53:03,214 --> 00:53:05,681
Shut up! Shut the fuck up!
881
00:53:10,353 --> 00:53:12,755
I can't believe we're
talking about this.
882
00:53:12,757 --> 00:53:14,890
I'm sorry. Jesus.

Look, stop it.
883
00:53:14,892 --> 00:53:17,860
I don't know, I don't
know what's wrong with me.
884
00:53:26,369 --> 00:53:30,472
I'm sorry, OK? I...
I'm sorry. I am so sorry...
885
00:53:30,474 --> 00:53:31,974
(GRUNTS)
886
00:53:35,545 --> 00:53:38,447
I really liked you, you know?
887
00:53:45,655 --> 00:53:48,857
I thought you were different.
888
00:53:48,859 --> 00:53:50,859
But you're not.
889
00:53:59,002 --> 00:54:01,437
(DOOR SLAMS)
890
00:54:12,015 --> 00:54:16,785
- (COMPUTER CHIMES)
- JON: So up until now, my record was ten in one day.
891
00:54:16,787 --> 00:54:20,723
And for a long time, I thought I'd
never beat that. But today...
892
00:54:20,725 --> 00:54:24,293
- ...I hit 11.
- (WOMEN MOANING)
893
00:54:25,929 --> 00:54:29,465
JON: And you know, when I have
great fucking days like this,
894
00:54:29,467 --> 00:54:33,836
it just reminds me how much
I love being single.
895
00:54:33,838 --> 00:54:36,972
- I do what I want, when I want.

- (WOMEN MOANING)
896
00:54:36,974 --> 00:54:40,809
I don't have to flake
on my friends anymore.
897
00:54:40,811 --> 00:54:43,579
I don't have to waste my time
in a fucking classroom.
898
00:54:43,581 --> 00:54:47,549
It just feels good, like...
like I got my own life back.
899
00:54:47,551 --> 00:54:51,320
- (MOANING)
- I mean, you think I could have hit 11
900
00:54:51,322 --> 00:54:54,323
when I was with Barbara?
No! Definitely not.
901
00:54:56,326 --> 00:54:58,727
So...
902
00:54:58,729 --> 00:55:02,698
(HIP-HOP PLAYS)
903
00:55:15,779 --> 00:55:19,315
- Jonny-boy!
- Jesus, bro, I can smell it on you already.
904
00:55:19,317 --> 00:55:21,784
- You got to catch up, baby!
- You mean I got to buy your poor ass
905
00:55:21,786 --> 00:55:24,987
- a fucking drink?
- Yo, the Don mad anxious tonight.
906
00:55:24,989 --> 00:55:26,555
- Fuck you!
- Where's wifey?
907
00:55:26,557 --> 00:55:29,425
- Fuck that bitch.
- Oh, shit!
908
00:55:29,427 --> 00:55:31,026
- Damn, OK!
- All right.
909
00:55:31,028 --> 00:55:33,062
You can't have this one,
'cause I saw her first,
910
00:55:33,064 --> 00:55:38,701
- but check out pink.
- JON: Yeah. She's all right.
911
00:55:39,536 --> 00:55:43,639
(HIP-HOP PLAYS)
912
00:55:56,686 --> 00:55:59,088
- Hey, fuck you, buddy!
- MAN: Fuck you!
913
00:55:59,090 --> 00:56:03,792
What'd you say? Huh? What the
fuck did you just say?! Hey!
914
00:56:03,794 --> 00:56:06,929
You wanna say some shit? Let's hear
it, you fat fuck! What did you say?!
915
00:56:06,931 --> 00:56:11,834
- MAN: I said fuck you!
- Fuck me, huh? Fuck me?
916
00:56:11,836 --> 00:56:15,871
Is that what you said?!
Huh? Huh? You fuck! Ah!
917
00:56:15,873 --> 00:56:19,875
- Fuck! Goddamn it! Fuck!
- (CAR HORN HONKING)
918
00:56:28,885 --> 00:56:31,687
919
00:56:34,891 --> 00:56:37,092
920
00:56:37,094 --> 00:56:39,828

- PRIEST: Amen. Bless you, my son.
- Forgive me, Father,
921
00:56:39,830 --> 00:56:41,897
for I have sinned. It has been one
week since my last confession.
922
00:56:41,899 --> 00:56:43,899
- Jonny, where were you?
- Don't worry about it.
923
00:56:43,901 --> 00:56:45,501
- What did you do to your...?
- Mom, it's fine.
924
00:56:45,503 --> 00:56:48,570
- Shh!
- Hey, hush yourself!
925
00:56:48,572 --> 00:56:50,906
Mom! It's fine. OK?
926
00:56:50,908 --> 00:56:56,044
- PRIEST: Tell me your sins.
- Father, I don't know what happened, but...
927
00:56:56,046 --> 00:56:59,415
...I guess I lost
my temper and I...
928
00:56:59,417 --> 00:57:02,484
I punched through this guy's
window on my way here right now.
929
00:57:02,486 --> 00:57:05,554
I didn't hurt anybody, but...
930
00:57:05,556 --> 00:57:08,490
Yeah, I don't know
what's wrong with me.
931
00:57:10,059 --> 00:57:13,629
Also, I watched pornographic
videos and masturbated 35 times.
932
00:57:13,631 --> 00:57:17,433
of my life, I'm sorry.

933
00:57:17,435 --> 00:57:20,869
- Twenty Lord's Prayers and 25 Hail Marys.
934
00:57:20,871 --> 00:57:23,872
PRIEST: Through the ministry of the Church,
may God give you pardon and peace.
935
00:57:23,874 --> 00:57:27,776
I absolve you from your sins in the name of
the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
936
00:57:27,778 --> 00:57:29,144
Amen.
937
00:57:29,146 --> 00:57:31,046
So Barbara
couldn't come tonight?
938
00:57:31,048 --> 00:57:33,549
No, she had this
family thing tonight.
939
00:57:33,551 --> 00:57:35,818
But she wanted to make it,
she just couldn't.
940
00:57:35,820 --> 00:57:39,087
- She told me to say hello to you guys.
- That's sweet.
941
00:57:39,089 --> 00:57:41,449
Everything good
with the two of you?
942
00:57:43,092 --> 00:57:46,695
- Yeah, she's great.
- ANGIE: She's a catch, Jonny.
943
00:57:46,697 --> 00:57:49,131
Beautiful girl.
944
00:57:49,133 --> 00:57:53,735
I'm telling you, a woman like
that make a boy into a man.
945
00:57:53,737 --> 00:57:56,138
I can see it on you too,
it's starting.
946
00:58:01,911 --> 00:58:04,480
947
00:58:07,650 --> 00:58:10,018
(WHISPERING) Holy Mary...
948
00:58:10,887 --> 00:58:12,654
...Mother of God...
949
00:58:13,756 --> 00:58:15,991
...pray for us sinners...
950
00:58:17,861 --> 00:58:19,628
...now...
951
00:58:20,730 --> 00:58:22,731
...and at the hour of our death.
952
00:58:24,834 --> 00:58:26,702
Amen.
953
00:58:31,541 --> 00:58:34,009
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
954
00:58:41,017 --> 00:58:44,553
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
955
00:58:44,555 --> 00:58:46,588
What the fuck?
956
00:58:57,267 --> 00:58:59,968
- The fuck you doing here?
- Damn, really?
957
00:58:59,970 --> 00:59:03,605
- Bro, I'm busy.
- Word, what you doing?
958
00:59:03,607 --> 00:59:07,910
Right. Just 'cause you don't pick
up your phone don't make you busy.
959
00:59:10,747 --> 00:59:13,715
- You smashed up somebody's car?
- Who told you that?
960
00:59:13,717 --> 00:59:18,554
Kerry's sister said she heard you
broke through some guy's window.
961
00:59:18,556 --> 00:59:20,322
- Well, did you?
- The guy was a fucking asshole.
962
00:59:20,324 --> 00:59:22,124
- What did he do?
- Why you taking his side?
963
00:59:22,126 --> 00:59:24,059
- I'm not taking his side.
- You are.
964
00:59:24,061 --> 00:59:27,129
Stop and think for a second.
Stop and think for a second.
965
00:59:27,131 --> 00:59:30,566
I don't care about that guy, I don't
give a damn about his car. Fuck him.
966
00:59:30,568 --> 00:59:32,301
What do you think
I'm doing here, man?
967
00:59:32,303 --> 00:59:35,103
- You wanna have a seat?
- Bro, honestly...
968
00:59:35,105 --> 00:59:37,573
Man, sit your ass down.
969
00:59:43,680 --> 00:59:46,582
- All right, what happened with your girl?
- Fuck that bitch.
970
00:59:46,584 --> 00:59:49,051
- You said that already. What, she drop you?
- No.
971
00:59:49,053 --> 00:59:51,820

No? You drop her? After all
that, she cheat on you?
972
00:59:51,822 --> 00:59:53,822
- No!
- So, what happened?
973
00:59:53,824 --> 00:59:55,724
Nothing! It's so fucking stupid.
974
00:59:55,726 --> 00:59:57,259
That's what I'm saying,
she's a bitch.
975
00:59:57,261 --> 00:59:58,961
She did drop your ass.
976
00:59:58,963 --> 01:00:01,597
- What did you do, man? You cheat on her?
- No!
977
01:00:01,599 --> 01:00:05,300
All right, you wanna hear this
shit? It's so fucking retarded.
978
01:00:05,302 --> 01:00:07,769
She caught me watching porn.
979
01:00:07,771 --> 01:00:10,005
- That's it?
- Right?
980
01:00:10,007 --> 01:00:12,341
- That's bullshit.
- Swear to God.
981
01:00:12,343 --> 01:00:16,645
Oh, my God! OK, hold on,
hold on, all right.
982
01:00:16,647 --> 01:00:21,116
So after all that obligatory shit, the
friend mixing and meeting her folks,
983
01:00:21,118 --> 01:00:24,786
she just walks in on you, you know,
beating your meat to a little video
984
01:00:24,788 --> 01:00:26,655
- and she's out?
- You don't know her.
985
01:00:26,657 --> 01:00:29,358
- She's crazy, she's a princess.
- Goddamn!
986
01:00:29,360 --> 01:00:33,261
- I know.
- No, for real, that's some crazy bullshit right there.
987
01:00:33,263 --> 01:00:37,332
- Fuck that bitch.
- Yeah. Fuck that bitch.
988
01:00:39,068 --> 01:00:42,704
But you still gonna
finish that class?
989
01:00:42,706 --> 01:00:44,773
- Really?
- What are you, my mom?
990
01:00:44,775 --> 01:00:47,376
No, I just thought it was almost done.
How much longer you got?
991
01:00:47,378 --> 01:00:51,680
TEACHER: All right, everyone,
three more weeks until the final.
992
01:00:51,682 --> 01:00:56,318
If you have any questions or concerns, please
feel free to e-mail me. Have a good night.
993
01:01:14,437 --> 01:01:18,040
- JON: Hey.
- ESTHER: Hi.
994
01:01:18,042 --> 01:01:21,443
- JON: Where you going?
- ESTHER: To my car.
995
01:01:21,445 --> 01:01:25,047
(MOANING)
996
01:01:25,049 --> 01:01:27,249
- JON: Oh, shit!
- ESTHER: OK.
997
01:01:27,251 --> 01:01:30,218
JON: No, we're fine,
we're fine, we're fine.
998
01:01:30,220 --> 01:01:32,821
(JON GRUNTING)
999
01:01:32,823 --> 01:01:35,090
Oh, my God!
1000
01:01:43,366 --> 01:01:46,735
Should've smoked this before,
you might've relaxed a little.
1001
01:01:46,737 --> 01:01:49,371
What's that supposed to mean?
1002
01:01:49,373 --> 01:01:53,975
I'm playing with you. Trust me, I'm
a perfectly satisfied customer.
1003
01:01:53,977 --> 01:01:57,312
- You want some?
- Thanks.
1004
01:02:01,184 --> 01:02:03,985
So I'm parked all the way on the other side.
I don't know if you want...
1005
01:02:03,987 --> 01:02:08,156
I know, you wanna get back, so let me enjoy
this and I'll drive you back to your car.
1006
01:02:08,158 --> 01:02:10,125
OK.
1007
01:02:12,195 --> 01:02:16,231
- So, what happened with your girlfriend?
- Fuck that bitch.
1008
01:02:16,233 --> 01:02:19,901
- That bad? She find somebody else?
- No.
1009
01:02:19,903 --> 01:02:23,505
Wanna know what happened?
I'll tell you what happened.
1010
01:02:23,507 --> 01:02:26,808
She snooped around on my computer,
she found out I watch porn.
1011
01:02:26,810 --> 01:02:29,778
I told her every fucking guy watches
porn, she didn't believe me.
1012
01:02:29,780 --> 01:02:34,049
She acted like I was cheating on
her or something, which I wasn't.
1013
01:02:34,051 --> 01:02:36,418
So... we broke up.
1014
01:02:36,420 --> 01:02:39,221
And you know what?
I'm glad we did.
1015
01:02:40,490 --> 01:02:42,924
- Just porn?
- Yeah.
1016
01:02:42,926 --> 01:02:45,961
- No, I don't buy it.
- I'm telling you. That's all.
1017
01:02:45,963 --> 01:02:49,464
Was it just once? Oh.
1018
01:02:49,466 --> 01:02:54,002
OK. So she caught you once, which is why
you're watching it on your phone at school,
1019
01:02:54,004 --> 01:02:56,471
'cause you're hiding it from her,
but she caught you the second time.
1020
01:02:56,473 --> 01:03:00,809
I don't know. Am I right?
I'm just guessing, but...
1021
01:03:00,811 --> 01:03:05,981

Oh, God, you're like
a junkie. You can't stop.
1022
01:03:05,983 --> 01:03:08,383
- How often do you watch it?
- What the fuck do you care?
1023
01:03:08,385 --> 01:03:13,922
- No, like every day?
- Every guy watches porn every day.
1024
01:03:13,924 --> 01:03:18,160
All right. When was the last
time you went a day without it?
1025
01:03:18,162 --> 01:03:20,295
- I don't know.
- No, come on, try and think.
1026
01:03:20,297 --> 01:03:22,964
- Seriously, I have no idea.
- Like this week, like this month?
1027
01:03:22,966 --> 01:03:26,968
No. I like my porn, OK? I watch it every day.
I always have.
1028
01:03:26,970 --> 01:03:30,539
Maybe when I was a kid, like before I
had a VCR in my room and I couldn't,
1029
01:03:30,541 --> 01:03:33,942
but even then
I had Playboys, so...
1030
01:03:33,944 --> 01:03:36,378
- Have you ever thought about quitting?
- Quit...?
1031
01:03:36,380 --> 01:03:42,050
- You're talking about it like... No, why would I?
- OK, let me ask you this.
1032
01:03:42,052 --> 01:03:45,487
You're a good-looking guy, I'm sure
you attract a lot of young ladies.
1033
01:03:45,489 --> 01:03:48,123

Why bother with porn when you
can have the real thing?
1034
01:03:48,125 --> 01:03:50,458
Nah, see, it's not
the same thing.
1035
01:03:50,460 --> 01:03:53,261
I mean, real pussy's all good,
but, no offense...
1036
01:03:53,263 --> 01:03:58,834
No, no, no offense taken. So
you like porn better than sex?
1037
01:04:02,171 --> 01:04:04,406
Well, what is it?
What do you get from porn
1038
01:04:04,408 --> 01:04:07,442
that you don't get from sex
with an actual person?
1039
01:04:08,878 --> 01:04:11,980
- I lose myself.
- You lose yourself.
1040
01:04:11,982 --> 01:04:14,983
Yeah, just... goodbye.
1041
01:04:14,985 --> 01:04:18,987
- And that doesn't happen when you have sex.
- I wish it did.
1042
01:04:18,989 --> 01:04:23,024
Sure, don't we all? Um...
1043
01:04:23,026 --> 01:04:26,862
OK. One more question,
then I'll drive you back.
1044
01:04:26,864 --> 01:04:31,032
- You ever jerk off without porn?
- What do you mean?
1045
01:04:53,456 --> 01:04:56,925
- (COMPUTER CHIMES)
- JON: I'm not like a junkie. Come on, that's stupid.
1046
01:04:56,927 --> 01:04:59,628
It's porn,
it's not fucking heroin.
1047
01:04:59,630 --> 01:05:05,066
I knew a few guys in high school who
actually smoked crack, like all the time.
1048
01:05:05,068 --> 01:05:10,639
That's like a junkie. They couldn't stop.
I could stop if I wanted to. I could.
1049
01:06:07,196 --> 01:06:08,630
- Hi.
- Hey.
1050
01:06:08,632 --> 01:06:12,267
- Somebody's excited.
- Yeah. Come on.
1051
01:06:12,269 --> 01:06:16,404
- I wanted to talk to you.
- Yeah? What about?
1052
01:06:17,540 --> 01:06:19,474
Don't you wanna...?
1053
01:06:20,576 --> 01:06:23,611
Don't you wanna wait
till after class?
1054
01:06:24,580 --> 01:06:26,514
OK.
1055
01:06:32,488 --> 01:06:34,255
All right. (LAUGHS)
1056
01:06:47,303 --> 01:06:51,072
You're... You're intense today.
What's going on with you?
1057
01:06:51,074 --> 01:06:53,475
- I gotta talk to you.
- I didn't think you meant that
1058
01:06:53,477 --> 01:06:55,443

- when you said it.
- Well, I did.
1059
01:06:55,445 --> 01:06:59,214
Well, I'm flattered.
What do you wanna talk about?
1060
01:06:59,216 --> 01:07:02,317
- (LAUGHS)
- Um...
1061
01:07:02,319 --> 01:07:04,019
So you were right.
1062
01:07:04,021 --> 01:07:05,653
- About what, your girlfriend?
- No.
1063
01:07:05,655 --> 01:07:08,456
I'm sorry.
I was right about what?
1064
01:07:08,458 --> 01:07:11,559
- I stopped watching porn.
- Oh, yeah? That's great!
1065
01:07:11,561 --> 01:07:13,194
- I don't know if it is.
- No, it is.
1066
01:07:13,196 --> 01:07:15,530
I wasn't gonna stop,
but then I was thinking about
1067
01:07:15,532 --> 01:07:19,467
what you asked me before,
if I ever jerk off
1068
01:07:19,469 --> 01:07:22,437
without watching porn,
and I tried to...
1069
01:07:22,439 --> 01:07:26,441
- Yeah? And you couldn't?
- No, I couldn't.
1070
01:07:26,443 --> 01:07:29,411
I don't know what's wrong with me. I've been

trying for a week, it's really fucked up.
1071
01:07:29,413 --> 01:07:35,683
- Oh, my God! You haven't cum in a week?
- Mm...
1072
01:07:35,685 --> 01:07:40,789
OK, wait. No. I want to
hear the rest of the story.
1073
01:07:42,525 --> 01:07:45,627
- So you haven't watched porn in a week.
- Yeah.
1074
01:07:45,629 --> 01:07:49,697
- That's good.
- What do you mean? You said you watched porn.
1075
01:07:49,699 --> 01:07:53,435
Uh, yeah, but that movie
that I gave you was totally...
1076
01:07:53,437 --> 01:07:55,403
- Did you ever watch it?
- No.
1077
01:07:55,405 --> 01:07:58,273
OK. It's totally unlike the stuff
that I imagine you watch every day.
1078
01:07:58,275 --> 01:08:01,109
- That is not healthy.
- What do you mean? How do you know?
1079
01:08:01,111 --> 01:08:04,245
Oh, my God, please!
That stuff is ridiculous
1080
01:08:04,247 --> 01:08:08,149
and it's nothing to do with actual sex.
That's why you have trouble with real women.
1081
01:08:08,151 --> 01:08:12,454
- No, I get off fine with real girls.
- Yeah, you definitely do.
1082
01:08:12,456 --> 01:08:15,757
Yeah, I just couldn't get off

beating it with my eyes closed.
1083
01:08:15,759 --> 01:08:20,795
But didn't you tell me last week that
you like porn better than real sex?
1084
01:08:20,797 --> 01:08:26,167
Well, honey, I'm gonna be honest with you,
'cause it seems like that's what you want.
1085
01:08:26,169 --> 01:08:29,704
Look, the way you have sex,
it's like totally one-sided.
1086
01:08:29,706 --> 01:08:32,540
It's like I'm not even there.
1087
01:08:32,542 --> 01:08:36,211
I mean, look, it's fine with me.
I'm not complaining.
1088
01:08:36,213 --> 01:08:38,847
It just so happens that meaningless sex
is something that I want in my life now,
1089
01:08:38,849 --> 01:08:42,550
but you said that you
wanna lose yourself in sex.
1090
01:08:42,552 --> 01:08:46,821
If you wanna lose yourself, you have
to lose yourself in another person.
1091
01:08:46,823 --> 01:08:51,593
And she has to lose herself
in you. It's a two-way thing.
1092
01:08:58,167 --> 01:09:00,201
You know what?
I shouldn't have said that.
1093
01:09:00,203 --> 01:09:02,570
- No, it's fine.
- No, no, no. I'm sorry. I am.
1094
01:09:02,572 --> 01:09:06,574
- What are you talking about?
- No. I'm really sorry.

1095
01:09:06,576 --> 01:09:08,843
I'm... I didn't mean
to hurt your feelings.
1096
01:09:08,845 --> 01:09:12,313
- You didn't. That's fine.
- No, I really didn't.
1097
01:09:14,517 --> 01:09:16,851
You know what?
1098
01:09:16,853 --> 01:09:18,920
Let's take a bath.
1099
01:09:18,922 --> 01:09:23,191
- What? Nah!
- No, come on. It'll be nice. It'll be nice.
1100
01:09:23,193 --> 01:09:26,427
Come on, let's take a bath.
1101
01:09:30,900 --> 01:09:33,401
I'm gonna get you a towel.
1102
01:10:02,198 --> 01:10:05,366
(SOBBING SOFTLY)
1103
01:10:42,371 --> 01:10:44,706
Hey, where were you?
1104
01:10:44,708 --> 01:10:47,342
I used one of the towels that was
in there, hope you don't mind.
1105
01:10:47,344 --> 01:10:49,344
Yeah, that's fine.
1106
01:10:49,346 --> 01:10:52,847
- What's wrong?
- Nothing.
1107
01:10:54,817 --> 01:11:00,722
- You don't live here alone, do you?
- I actually do.
1108
01:11:00,724 --> 01:11:06,494
There's some kind of...
bad marriage situation here?
1109
01:11:06,496 --> 01:11:09,297
- No.
- I know it's none of my business, sorry.
1110
01:11:09,299 --> 01:11:12,867
I don't wanna get caught out and now some
guy's coming at me with a bat or some shit.
1111
01:11:12,869 --> 01:11:15,970
No, it's nothing like that.
1112
01:11:15,972 --> 01:11:19,007
All right. So, what is it?
1113
01:11:19,009 --> 01:11:22,010
Since when do you ask me
personal questions?
1114
01:11:24,480 --> 01:11:26,447
Since right now.
1115
01:11:26,449 --> 01:11:29,684
- It really doesn't matter.
- Well, it seems like it matters to you.
1116
01:11:29,686 --> 01:11:31,753
No, it doesn't.
1117
01:11:31,755 --> 01:11:36,557
Didn't you tell me it's sort of fucked
up to keep stuff like this hidden?
1118
01:11:42,031 --> 01:11:47,368
My husband and my son
died 14 months ago.
1119
01:11:47,370 --> 01:11:48,903
- Jesus!
- Thank you.
1120
01:11:48,905 --> 01:11:50,571
What happened?
1121
01:11:50,573 --> 01:11:54,909
Cars are terrible things.
1122
01:11:54,911 --> 01:11:57,779
I'm sorry, but your hair
is so much better this way.
1123
01:11:57,781 --> 01:12:00,748
- What?
- I can touch it.
1124
01:12:00,750 --> 01:12:02,550
(LAUGHS) What are you
talking about?
1125
01:12:02,552 --> 01:12:04,619
You put so much
junk in your hair,
1126
01:12:04,621 --> 01:12:08,022
it's all sticky and hard,
this is much better.
1127
01:13:07,015 --> 01:13:09,851
(CONDOM WRAPPER CRINKLING)
1128
01:13:19,128 --> 01:13:21,896
(SOFT PANTING)
1129
01:14:03,505 --> 01:14:06,774
(GASPING)
1130
01:14:23,759 --> 01:14:26,227
(ENGINE REVVING)
1131
01:14:26,229 --> 01:14:28,129
(HIP-HOP SONG PLAYS OVER STEREO)
1132
01:14:28,131 --> 01:14:31,666
(SINGING WITH RADIO)
 Good vibration
1133
01:14:31,668 --> 01:14:35,069
It's such a sweet sensation
1134
01:14:35,071 --> 01:14:39,207
 It's such a good vibration 

1135
01:14:39,209 --> 01:14:43,845
(RADIO) It's such
a sweet sensation 
1136
01:14:43,847 --> 01:14:45,813
(SINGING WITH RADIO)
 Yo! It's about that time
1137
01:14:45,815 --> 01:14:47,748
 To bring forth the rhythm
and the rhyme... 
1138
01:14:47,750 --> 01:14:51,018
1139
01:15:01,129 --> 01:15:03,231
1140
01:15:03,233 --> 01:15:05,600
1141
01:15:05,602 --> 01:15:08,135
- PRIEST: Amen. Bless you, my son.
- Forgive me, Father,
1142
01:15:08,137 --> 01:15:10,838
for I have sinned. It has been one
week since my last confession.
1143
01:15:10,840 --> 01:15:13,875
- PRIEST: Tell me your sins.
- First of all, I lied to you before.
1144
01:15:13,877 --> 01:15:18,846
I told you that, uh... Well, actually,
I don't know if it was you.
1145
01:15:18,848 --> 01:15:22,149
Something I've always kinda wondered is, is
it the same guy I'm talking to every week
1146
01:15:22,151 --> 01:15:27,655
or there's a few of you and you switch off, or...
how does that all work?
1147
01:15:30,025 --> 01:15:34,095
Well, anyway, I told the Father
a while back
1148
01:15:34,097 --> 01:15:40,101
that I stopped watching pornography, but
that was a lie, I didn't stop at all.
1149
01:15:40,103 --> 01:15:44,939
The thing is, this week I actually did stop,
like totally just not doing it anymore.
1150
01:15:44,941 --> 01:15:48,609
So...
1151
01:15:48,611 --> 01:15:52,146
- PRIEST: Yes?
- Yeah, so that's like zero for the week.
1152
01:15:52,148 --> 01:15:56,317
Other than that, I did have sex
out of wedlock one time,
1153
01:15:56,319 --> 01:16:01,656
but it was different, it wasn't
just sex, it was like...
1154
01:16:01,658 --> 01:16:06,661
I don't know, it's hard to explain, but...
yeah, that's it. So...
1155
01:16:06,663 --> 01:16:10,731
1156
01:16:10,733 --> 01:16:12,800
PRIEST: Ten Lord's Prayers
and ten Hail Marys.
1157
01:16:12,802 --> 01:16:14,869
Really? Same thing,
no difference?
1158
01:16:14,871 --> 01:16:17,305
PRIEST: Through the ministry of
the Church, may God give you...
1159
01:16:17,307 --> 01:16:19,707

Wait! Father, I'm really sorry,
1160
01:16:19,709 --> 01:16:22,944
but could you just tell me how you
got to those numbers, please?
1161
01:16:22,946 --> 01:16:28,115
'Cause I... I really thought there
was gonna be a difference this week.
1162
01:16:31,820 --> 01:16:34,221
PRIEST: Have faith, my son.
1163
01:16:34,223 --> 01:16:36,991
Through the ministry of the Church,
may God give you pardon and peace,
1164
01:16:36,993 --> 01:16:41,963
and I absolve you from your sins in the name
of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
1165
01:16:45,834 --> 01:16:50,871
- So, uh... me and Barbara split up.
- ANGIE: What?
1166
01:16:50,873 --> 01:16:56,277
- Barbara and I split up.
- I can't believe it, this is horrible!
1167
01:16:56,279 --> 01:16:58,613
- Can you get her back?
- I don't think so.
1168
01:16:58,615 --> 01:17:00,881
- Did you try to call her?
- She doesn't want me to call her.
1169
01:17:00,883 --> 01:17:03,184
- Look what you did.
- Sorry. What do you want me to do?
1170
01:17:03,186 --> 01:17:06,921
I just want you to be happy, that's all!
Is that too much to ask?
1171
01:17:06,923 --> 01:17:11,158
- I wasn't happy.
- A nice wife and some nice kids?

1172
01:17:11,160 --> 01:17:13,928
Look at me!
I look like a grandmother,
1173
01:17:13,930 --> 01:17:16,330
but do I have
any grandchildren? No!
1174
01:17:16,332 --> 01:17:18,733
Am I a bad mother,
is that what I'm hearing?
1175
01:17:18,735 --> 01:17:21,335
- Honey, calm down, please!
- You know, Ma, I don't know
1176
01:17:21,337 --> 01:17:24,171
- if I really want a wife and kids.
- What are you saying?
1177
01:17:24,173 --> 01:17:26,073
You don't mean that.
1178
01:17:26,075 --> 01:17:28,075
- Jon, say something!
- JON SR.: All right!
1179
01:17:28,077 --> 01:17:30,778
Stop upsetting your mother! What
the fuck is the matter with you?
1180
01:17:30,780 --> 01:17:33,180
- I don't know.
- Having a family is the greatest joy
1181
01:17:33,182 --> 01:17:36,117
- in a man's life, everybody knows that!
- Then maybe I'm not a man.
1182
01:17:36,119 --> 01:17:40,721
'Cause I sure don't want a family.
Maybe one day, but not right now!
1183
01:17:40,723 --> 01:17:43,791
- Well, and that's all she wanted.
- ANGIE: What did she say?
1184
01:17:43,793 --> 01:17:48,329
- SISTER: I said that girl...
- I cannot hear any fucking thing!
1185
01:17:51,299 --> 01:17:54,368
- What are you saying?
- All I'm saying is, that girl,
1186
01:17:54,370 --> 01:17:56,370
she has her own agenda.
She doesn't care about Jonny,
1187
01:17:56,372 --> 01:17:58,439
she doesn't know
the first thing about him.
1188
01:17:58,441 --> 01:18:01,375
She just wants a guy who's gonna
do whatever she tells him to.
1189
01:18:01,377 --> 01:18:04,045
It is a good thing
that she broke up with you.
1190
01:18:05,213 --> 01:18:09,183
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
1191
01:18:17,292 --> 01:18:21,796
- Jon, I will fucking kill you!
- All right. Easy.
1192
01:18:26,468 --> 01:18:29,236
1193
01:18:40,816 --> 01:18:43,150
(TECHNO MUSIC FADES)
1194
01:18:55,464 --> 01:19:00,000
(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
1195
01:19:02,304 --> 01:19:04,939
(BOTH WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY)
1196
01:19:04,941 --> 01:19:10,745
All right, listen, listen, I gotta go,
so I'll see you later? All right. Bye.

1197
01:19:10,747 --> 01:19:12,346
- Sorry.
- That's cool.
1198
01:19:12,348 --> 01:19:15,149
- Sorry about that.
- No problem. How you doing?
1199
01:19:15,151 --> 01:19:18,052
- A little windy.
- Yeah, it's windy out here.
1200
01:19:18,054 --> 01:19:20,988
- So... I'm good. How are you?
- Good, thanks.
1201
01:19:20,990 --> 01:19:23,991
- Everybody good?
- Yeah, great.
1202
01:19:25,393 --> 01:19:28,095
- Thanks for meeting me.
- Sure.
1203
01:19:28,097 --> 01:19:30,431
Hope you understand why I thought
lunch was not a good idea.
1204
01:19:30,433 --> 01:19:32,166
That's fine.
You want some coffee?
1205
01:19:32,168 --> 01:19:34,502
No, actually I gotta
go pretty soon, so...
1206
01:19:37,806 --> 01:19:43,043
- (LAUGHS) You changed your hair?
- Yeah...
1207
01:19:46,448 --> 01:19:48,949
- So?
- Yeah, so...
1208
01:19:50,552 --> 01:19:53,387
I just wanted to apologize.
1209
01:19:53,389 --> 01:19:57,057
I lied to you,
and I'm sorry for that.
1210
01:20:02,531 --> 01:20:05,299
Well, that's
all you're gonna say?
1211
01:20:07,435 --> 01:20:10,938
I don't really know what I do
with that. What do I say?
1212
01:20:10,940 --> 01:20:13,541
I forgive you, or we're supposed
to get back together or something?
1213
01:20:13,543 --> 01:20:16,343
- No. No, I just wanted to tell you...
- You're not capable
1214
01:20:16,345 --> 01:20:18,012
of a relationship, Jon.
1215
01:20:18,014 --> 01:20:21,916
- You're not.
- No. Right now I'm not.
1216
01:20:21,918 --> 01:20:24,318
'Cause you're a selfish
person, and you're a liar.
1217
01:20:24,320 --> 01:20:28,489
- Yeah, I was. I'm sorry.
- I asked you to do one thing for me...
1218
01:20:28,491 --> 01:20:33,060
Yeah. I was thinking about
that when you said it before.
1219
01:20:33,062 --> 01:20:36,831
Well, I said it because
it's true, that's why.
1220
01:20:38,533 --> 01:20:42,203
- It's not true.
- Really?
1221
01:20:42,205 --> 01:20:45,439
You didn't only ask me for one thing.
You asked for a lot,
1222
01:20:45,441 --> 01:20:49,009
a lot of different things
and then...
1223
01:20:49,011 --> 01:20:50,578
...I couldn't do it
all for you.
1224
01:20:50,580 --> 01:20:53,214
Well, when a real man
loves a woman,
1225
01:20:53,216 --> 01:20:55,182
he doesn't mind
doing things for her.
1226
01:20:55,184 --> 01:20:57,551
He'll do anything for her.
1227
01:20:57,553 --> 01:21:03,157
Yeah, but don't you think that
sounds a little bit one-sided?
1228
01:21:03,159 --> 01:21:05,526
No, I don't.
1229
01:21:05,528 --> 01:21:09,363
But that's why you like to watch
those whores in those videos,
1230
01:21:09,365 --> 01:21:11,565
because you don't gotta
do anything for them, right?
1231
01:21:11,567 --> 01:21:17,037
Yeah, that's one-sided
also. Definitely.
1232
01:21:18,440 --> 01:21:22,409
Look, sweetie,
I'm gonna go, OK?
1233
01:21:25,247 --> 01:21:27,548
Don't call me anymore.

1234
01:21:35,957 --> 01:21:38,259
The streak is over,
motherfucker! How's it feel?
1235
01:21:38,261 --> 01:21:41,495
- I'd rather get pizza with my boys.
- That's new.
1236
01:21:41,497 --> 01:21:45,432
Every fucking time we go out,
Don Jon smashes!
1237
01:21:45,434 --> 01:21:47,902
But not tonight,
ladies and gentlemen.
1238
01:21:47,904 --> 01:21:51,105
The fans are devastated.
Jonny, what happened?
1239
01:21:51,107 --> 01:21:53,407
Yeah! Well, I thought it was on
with old crop top.
1240
01:21:53,409 --> 01:21:55,676
- No, that girl was annoying.
- She was tight though.
1241
01:21:55,678 --> 01:21:57,611
- Eight.
- Solid eight.
1242
01:21:57,613 --> 01:21:59,947
Her body was at least an eight,
but you didn't talk to her.
1243
01:21:59,949 --> 01:22:02,449
- Who cares how she talks?
- You asked why I didn't smash,
1244
01:22:02,451 --> 01:22:06,453
that's why I didn't smash. What about you?
You were kicking it to pony-tail, right?
1245
01:22:06,455 --> 01:22:09,423
- How did it go?
- You get her name?

1246
01:22:09,425 --> 01:22:12,559
- I got a number.
- BOTH: Oh! Hey!
1247
01:22:12,561 --> 01:22:14,561
- You like that?
- Fucking right I do!
1248
01:22:14,563 --> 01:22:19,400
- Easy, easy. Did you get her name?
- Yeah!
1249
01:22:19,402 --> 01:22:20,968
Wait...
1250
01:22:22,971 --> 01:22:24,638
- Oh, fuck!
- What?
1251
01:22:24,640 --> 01:22:26,240
I saved it as pony-tail.
1252
01:22:26,242 --> 01:22:28,976
- (LAUGHS) Danny-boy!
- Danny-boy!
1253
01:22:28,978 --> 01:22:32,513
All right, all right, all right.
Take it easy, take it easy.
1254
01:22:44,626 --> 01:22:46,527
JON: This fucking lady.
1255
01:22:46,529 --> 01:22:50,664
I don't usually like it when a
girl looks me right in the eye,
1256
01:22:50,666 --> 01:22:52,433
and this girl does that a lot.
1257
01:22:52,435 --> 01:22:54,668
But I don't know what it is
about her.
1258
01:22:54,670 --> 01:22:57,104
When she does it, I don't mind.

1259
01:22:57,106 --> 01:23:01,575
I just look right back at her,
and pretty soon...
1260
01:23:01,577 --> 01:23:03,677
...I'm hard as a fucking rock.
1261
01:23:03,679 --> 01:23:06,413
It's like she knows
what I'm thinking.
1262
01:23:06,415 --> 01:23:09,416
Or I know what
she's thinking, or...
1263
01:23:09,418 --> 01:23:13,654
I don't know, it's that two-way
thing. I fucking love it.
1264
01:23:16,057 --> 01:23:20,394
And I don't mean love like, "I
love her, I wanna marry her."
1265
01:23:20,396 --> 01:23:23,430
I'm definitely not thinking
about all that shit.
1266
01:23:23,432 --> 01:23:26,233
And she's not either.
1267
01:23:27,202 --> 01:23:29,570
She can't.
1268
01:23:33,041 --> 01:23:36,076
I guess I just mean love like,
1269
01:23:36,078 --> 01:23:40,547
you know, like
when we're making love.
1270
01:23:40,549 --> 01:23:45,219
And while we're doing it, all
the bullshit does fade away,
1271
01:23:45,221 --> 01:23:48,455
and it's just me and her,

right there,
1272
01:23:48,457 --> 01:23:52,126
and yeah, I do lose
myself in her,
1273
01:23:52,128 --> 01:23:55,562
and I can tell she
is losing herself in me,
1274
01:23:55,564 --> 01:24:01,402
and we're just fucking...
lost together.
1275
01:24:10,245 --> 01:24:13,047
(HIP-HOP PLAYS)
1276
01:24:13,049 --> 01:24:15,616
 It's such a good vibration
1277
01:24:15,618 --> 01:24:17,284
 Come on, come on, come on
1278
01:24:17,286 --> 01:24:20,287
1279
01:24:20,289 --> 01:24:24,658
- Feel it, feel it
- It's such a good vibration 
1280
01:24:24,660 --> 01:24:27,594
1281
01:24:27,596 --> 01:24:32,633
- Feel the vibration
- It's such a good vibration 
1282
01:24:32,635 --> 01:24:36,537
1283
01:24:36,539 --> 01:24:40,307
 It's such a good vibration
1284
01:24:40,309 --> 01:24:46,146
 It's such a sweet sensation 
1285
01:24:48,750 --> 01:24:52,352
1286
01:26:21,509 --> 01:26:24,578
(INSTRUMENTAL HIP-HOP PLAYS)
1287
01:26:46,901 --> 01:26:49,870
(ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYS)

Man's candid thoughts on porn vs real sex

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1

00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:06,291

00:03:31,644 --> 00:03:34,246

00:04:34,008 --> 00:04:36,375

Nah, she's hot,

00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:15,794

you're driving a fucking car!

00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:10,268

00:12:35,454 --> 00:12:37,856

- I wanna find that girl.

- I think it's dinner. Maybe even lunch.

- Can I help you?

00:17:31,184 --> 00:17:33,351

- All right. I got time.

00:19:28,935 --> 00:19:30,902

00:20:43,709 --> 00:20:47,311

and I absolve you from your sins in

<i>- Like it or not

00:26:30,256 --> 00:26:31,622

You love this girl?

00:30:31,931 --> 00:30:33,897

00:32:50,735 --> 00:32:56,206

00:34:00,406 --> 00:34:03,440

00:35:22,821 --> 00:35:25,122

- Oh! Yeah, sorry,

- Yeah, whatever you want.

- Hey, good to meet you.

00:40:31,763 --> 00:40:33,029

00:41:54,646 --> 00:41:57,046

00:43:43,855 --> 00:43:45,955

- Yeah, he needed the hours.

00:47:38,890 --> 00:47:42,391

Are you kidding me?

first started dating?

I'm sorry. Jesus.

<i>- I do what I want, when I want.

00:56:37,094 --> 00:56:39,828

of my life, I'm sorry.

00:59:49,053 --> 00:59:51,820

01:03:00,811 --> 01:03:05,981

01:03:45,489 --> 01:03:48,123

01:06:53,477 --> 01:06:55,443

I don't know what's wrong with me. I've been

Yeah, I just couldn't get off

- No. I'm really sorry.

<i> It's such a good vibration </i>

01:16:17,307 --> 01:16:19,707

- A nice wife and some nice kids?

so I'll see you later? All right. Bye.

Don't call me anymore.

- You get her name?

<i>When she does it, I don't mind.</i>

<i>and it's just me and her,</i>

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