Charisma

1 of 51 Unearthing Your Natural Charisma
“The Natural Charisma

Mentor”
NLP Methods To
Supercharge Your
Influence Skills
Unearthing Your Natural Charisma:

What Neuro-Linguistic Programming Can Teach Us
TABLE OF CONTENTS
• Introduction (1)
o Put the Big Rocks First! (1)
o "Will NLP Work for Me?" (5)
• How to Charm People (6)
o Matching Body Language and Pace (7)
Pace (8)
Body Language (8)
Volume (8)
Tone (9)
Eye Contact (9)
o Matching Word Choice and Perception (14)
o The Importance of Body Language (19)
o The Importance of Appearance (20)
• Experimenting with Point of View to Increase your Wisdom, Power, and
Control (22)
o Second Person Exercises (23)
o Third Person Exercises (24)
o First Person Exercises (25)
o Maintain Variety (27)
• How to Change your Life by Getting to Know Yourself (27)
• How to Maintain a Positive Self-Image and Love Yourself (30)
• How to Use Sensory Anchors to Trigger Positive Emotions (32)
• How to Stay Positive through Modeling (40)
• What Traits Should I Cultivate, to be a More Charismatic Person Now?
(44)
o Understand yourself and others (44)
o Know what you want (45)
o Be aware (45)
o Be flexible (46)
• A Few Things to Remember, if you Become Discouraged (46)
• If You Start to Worry about Becoming Arrogant (47)
• Conclusion (48)
• Works Consulted (48)
INTRODUCTION
Put the Big Rocks First!
NLP is a school of thought that says you have the power

within yourself to cause positive changes in your life. NLP is
not a hard science in the sense of tirelessly testing
propositions to see if they are true or false. In some ways,
this makes NLP more productive for changing your life! The
Wikipedia entry on NLP quotes popular author Tony Robbins
as saying,
None of the current NLP developers have

done any research to prove their models
correct. The party line is 'pretend it works,
try it, and notice the results you get. If you
don't get the result you want, try something
else.'
Its tireless creativity makes NLP a fountain of useful

methods and models for self-improvement. Just two
researchers first created NLP in the 1970s. Since then, the
field has exploded, with lots of new variations and methods
available to the casual reader. By sharing original examples
of tried-and-true NLP principles, this guide can help you to
develop the charm and confidence you're looking for!
Make sure you're ready to take action. The key to changing

your life through NLP is this: if you are willing to take
positive action—to work at changing your life every day—
then you are capable of being an excellent, likable, self-
confident individual. If you make a habit of following NLP's
methods of encouraging charm and charisma, those
behaviors will replace your shyness and awkwardness, and
you will succeed. You could do anything—give a speech in

front of a crowd, get dates, converse with strangers. But
you must be dedicated to doing mental work. You can't
create changes in yourself just by sitting back in your easy
chair, or sitting in front of your computer. Books and CD
sets can help tremendously to motivate you, but they can't
change you on their own. Even leading hypnotherapists
agree that you can't be hypnotized into having improved
charisma. NLP is about actually doing the mental work
necessary to break your old patterns and introduce
beneficial changes.
So if you think you can succeed just by reading these

words, you're wrong. But if you're ready to try improving
yourself with NLP, if you really stick to it, then it will work
for you. In other words, if you have decided to work on
changing your life, then congratulations: you are already
well on your way to becoming the extremely charming
person you are underneath.
If you're not sure you want to dedicate yourself to creating

beneficial changes in your life, here is a fable that may
inspire you.
A university professor walked into a lecture hall at the

start of class carrying a huge, empty jar and a large canvas
bag. The hall was fairly full; there were maybe 90 or 100
students that day. It was the first class of the day, and
morning sunlight was streaming into the classroom. After
telling the class good morning, the professor set the empty
jar on a table. He then proceeded to pull several large
rocks out of his canvas bag and place them in the jar. He
filled the jar with large rocks until they reached the very
brim. There was no way he could have managed to fit
another of the rocks into the jar.
"Is this jar full?" he asked the class. There were nods all
around.
The professor then pulled a coffee can full of pebbles out

of his canvas bag. He poured the pebbles into the jar. The
pebbles filled in all the cracks between the larger rocks.
"How about now?" the professor asked, gesturing to the

jar. "Is it full?"
It certainly looked full. The class nodded in agreement

again: yes, the jar was full.
Next, the professor smiled and pulled a gallon freezer bag

of sand from his bag. He opened the bag and poured the
entire gallon of sand into the jar.
"Now it must be really full, right?" he asked the class. A

few said yes—but most of the class waited, wondering
what was coming next.
And in fact, the professor then proceeded to pull a large

bottle of water from his canvas bag. He tipped the bottle
into the jar, and managed to empty it entirely, so the
liquid fit in around the rocks, pebbles, and sand.
The professor asked the class what they had learned from
the lesson. There was silence throughout the lecture hall.
"Think of the most important things in your life as big

rocks," he said. "These are your families, your goals, your
aspirations, principles, and beliefs. In order to fit these
things in your life, you must put them first. Think of the
pebbles and sand as smaller, day-to-day activities. If you
concentrate on small, immediate problems first, then you
will never have room to fit your big rocks into your life.
But if you focus on your big rocks first, and let smaller
goals follow, then you will live the fullest life possible."
(Adapted from a story found at <http://www.fmbv.nu/mayonnaise-and-beer>.)
Now, this is a useful way to think of becoming a more

charismatic person. If achieving charm and confidence is
truly important to you—if overcoming shyness qualifies as a
'big rock,'—then keep this goal in mind at all times. Don't
let smaller concerns get in the way. If you keep this
important, fundamental goal in the forefront, then your
smaller, day-to-day episodes will be filled with the self-
assurance and ease you desire.
Of course, you have other big rocks aside from just self-
improvement—perhaps these are religious beliefs, loved
ones, or your career. Simply being happy is a big rock for
just about all of us. But whatever your big goals are, be
sure you put those first in your life. And not just with
words, but with the actions that follow in your day-to-day
interactions.
"Will NLP Work for Me?"
Now you may be asking yourself, "What if some people just

can't succeed?" A lot of people in this world believe that
some of us have the tools to succeed, and others are just
out of luck. This point of view can be quite destructive.
NLP does not prove that any human being can be a happy,
successful individual. No one can prove that! NLP just asks
the question: if we presuppose that anyone can be an

outstanding, successful individual, is that a useful
assumption? And the answer is yes! When we tell ourselves
we have all the resources for success within us, when we
really internalize and believe this information, we become
more confident and capable. A positive attitude allows
positive changes to be worked in people who wouldn't
change without this belief.
Because of this proposition's immense usefulness, NLP

teaches that you have within yourself all the tools for
great success.
NLP is right for you if you want to create beneficial changes

in your life using your own wealth of internal resources.
Of course, there is always room for improvement, and no

mental techniques will ever make anyone perfect. But NLP
is proven to take people beyond their wildest dreams of
self-fulfillment.
Now, let's look at some of NLP's principles, and some

exercises to help you along. Specifically, these methods are
chosen to help you boost your confidence and charm.
HOW TO CHARM PEOPLE
It stands to reason that one of the most attractive, likable

qualities a person can have is that of understanding others.
People love to feel that they are understood and related
to. The skill of relating to others involves everything from
strong listening skills to understanding what makes others
comfortable. If you want to be seen as charming and
enjoyable, remember to keep an eye on others and their
comfort levels.
One presumption that is consistent throughout NLP is that

acting as though something were true can cause it to
become true. This is useful for acting as though you
thoroughly understand another person: acting this way will
help you actually relate to others better!
The following methods can actually help you be liked.

These cues will encourage people to be relaxed and happy
around you. Those you meet will wonder where you got
your wonderful people skills and your exemplary listening
abilities. But the reality is, you will be following quite
simple tips for polite, considerate conversation! These
simple cues will cause others to know that you relate to
them and share their view of the world. And of course,
through using these techniques, you will truly understand
others better.
Matching Body Language and Pace
One of the simplest ways to increase your conversational

charm is through matching. To "match" essentially means to
try to mirror the physiology, behavior, and language of your
conversational partners. The benefit of matching is that it
causes others to believe you see the world in the same way
they do. This is a fundamental key to charisma and charm.
Once a person likes and respects you for understanding the
world in the way they do, it will be that much easier to
communicate your own thoughts... because they will be
interested in and receptive to what you have too say!
Caution: matching is not the same as mimicry! Be careful

that you do not disrespectfully or distractingly imitate a
person's every action.
Below is a list of physical and auditory matching methods.

Remember, you don't have to overwork yourself by trying
to juggle all of these techniques at once. Just keep a few
favorites in mind, and increase your attractiveness to
others by employing them when possible.
1. Pay attention to the conversational pace of the person

you are speaking with. How quickly are they speaking? Do
they say ten words a minute, or a hundred, or two
hundred? Try to match the person's fastness or slowness.
Don't mimic them exactly; just be generally complimentary
to their pace. If they are speaking very quickly, try to keep
up. More importantly, if you are speaking with someone
who speaks slowly, try to slow to his or her pace and be
respectful of the desire to move slowly. A good way to
match conversational pace is to pay attention to rate of
breathing and try to breathe at approximately the same
rate (again, be careful not to distract anyone by being too
obvious about this). Matching pace will help you pay
attention, and this will be noticed. It will also show that
you are paying attention to what is being said, rather than
being wrapped in your own thoughts.
2. Match your conversational partner's body language.

What are their physical rhythms? Do they nod frequently, or
tap their fingers constantly? Do they move slowly and
fluidly? Think of it as a musical duet: you may be playing
different instruments with different notes, but you're
harmonizing together. Also notice their body language: if
someone strongly closes themselves off with folded arms,
for example, make sure to respect their space while staying
open and friendly.
3. Match your conversational partner in volume. When

talking with a very soft-spoken individual, speak with a
softer volume so as not to shock them with a loud voice.
When talking with someone loud and brassy, try to perk up
and speak with more volume. Again, the idea is not to
mimic someone entirely, but rather to form a complement
to his or her mode of speaking. This will show that you are
receptive and understanding. People will believe that you
are receptive to their needs and desires in a natural, not a
patronizing way, and that you see the world similarly to
how they see it.
4. Match your conversational partner in tone. This is

different from volume. Tone has more to do with the
emotional timbre of the person's voice. If someone is
irreverent and humorous, joke along with him or her. If
they are sad, take a subdued angle. To a certain extent,
this is already accomplished by instinct. Most of us realize
it's inappropriate to act like a stand-up comedian at a
funeral, and it is difficult to brood around a likable, smiling
person who is having a wonderful time. Take this matching
of tone to a deeper level than that readily available to your
instincts. Make the effort to notice subtler variations than
those you notice involuntarily. Really push yourself to
notice your partner's tone. Respect this tone. Respond to
tone as well as words.
In a business meeting, do not be too emotional or personal

in tone, but do be friendly and at ease.
5. Match eye contact. This requires gauging another

person's comfort level. Make less eye contact if she seems
uncomfortable, and more eye contact if she seems quite at
ease around you. Charisma is largely based on people

feeling they are understood, so it is important to keep an
"eye" on their comfort levels—while maintaining eye-to-eye
contact as often as you reasonably can. If you're not sure
how comfortable someone is, follow what feels natural.
You're already doing better than most people if you are
paying attention to your conversational partners' eyes. You
can play it safe by keeping eye contact more than 50% of
the time, while making sure to look away sometimes so as
not to appear too intense.
You may worry that matching is deceptive or manipulative.

But I disagree! An added effect of matching with someone
is that you will, indeed, begin to actually understand others
better. This form of considerate communication is one of
the nicest things you can do for a person, and they will be
genuinely appreciative.
As a final word, an important part of paying close attention

to others is noticing if they feel patronized to. Be careful
of seeming condescending. Matching people in body
language and voice will help you to seem "on the same
level," and neither arrogant nor apologetic. But mimicking
others will seem odd and even condescending, so make
sure to be creative and individualistic with your body
language and pace as well. Be yourself, while harmonizing
with others like instruments in an orchestra.
So far we've talked about matching your partner's pace,

tone, volume, body language, and eye contact. That's a
pretty long list of things to watch! Just as you don't jump in
a pool instantly knowing the breaststroke and the butterfly,
you're not going to be able to match all of these details on
the first try.
To help keep all these matching techniques straight, here's

a short scene for you to read. The scene stars Sam, who
used to be shy but is practicing increasing charisma with
NLP, and Alex, who has never heard of NLP. Sam is
approaching Alex's table in their favorite coffee shop.
SAM: (Approaches Alex's table. Notices Alex's head bobbing

in rhythm to the music in the coffee shop. Sam makes sure
to hear the music and notice its flow.) Hi.
ALEX: Hi.
SAM: (Friendly, easy gaze. Shoulders back, hands not

moving. Sincerely:) Do you mind if I sit here?
ALEX: (Returning Sam's smile.) No, go ahead. (Makes very

brief eye contact and returns to newspaper.)
SAM: (Not wanting to stare, reads a few sentences from a

book. Noticing Alex is still moving with the music,
continues to tap foot or subtly dance.)
ALEX: (Senses the motion of Sam's foot tapping.) This is a

great song.
SAM: Yeah, I used to hear this all the time while I was doing
homework.
ALEX: Oh? Where did you go to school?
*
Sam did a few things right here! When Alex wasn't feeling
talkative, Sam respected Alex's slow pace and wasn' t
overwhelming. Sam also noticed Alex's body language in
dancing with the music, and subtly followed the music as
well. This body language matching helped Sam become part
of Alex's space without invading it, which kept Alex's
attention on Sam even though they weren't making eye
contact. When Alex didn't want to make eye contact, Sam
respected this and found something to read; however,
when Alex was ready to make conversation, Sam had
something to say and made confident eye contact. We
might assume Sam's volume and tone were in synch with
Alex's as well.
Once Alex picked up the pace of the conversation just a

bit, Sam took it even further, going out on a limb and
offering some personal information. Perhaps the two of
them will find some common interests, which could help
them find more to talk about. Most importantly, though,
Sam's considerate matching techniques helped establish
friendly contact in an open, but not threatening, way. Alex
is probably very interested to learn more about someone so
easy to be around.
Now, let's make this more challenging for Sam. Let's say
that instead of the reasonably friendly Alex, Sam meets up
with a more hostile individual named Val. And let's say that
instead of the two casually meeting in a coffee shop, Sam
is a political canvasser soliciting Val on the street.
SAM: Hi there.
VAL: Hi. I don't have time. (Is obviously in a hurry, and

trying to get past without making contact, but the street
is too crowded.)
SAM: Can I just say, you've obviously had a lot of errands to

run today, but you're holding up great. You make it look so
easy.
VAL: (Perks up a bit, but still irritated.) Well, thank you.
SAM: I know you're heading home and you'll be happy to get

there.
VAL: (This idea sinks in, and Val starts to smile slightly.)
Thanks. Thanks, I hope you have a good night too.
SAM: Tell me, you don't have an opinion on measure 38, do

you?
VAL: Actually, I do…
In this case, Sam noticed Val was moving at a hurried pace

with closed off body language. Rather than mimic Val's
frantic and hostile tone, Sam decided to acknowledge Val's
state by describing the state empathetically ("you've
obviously had a lot of errands to run"). Then Sam added
positive details about Val's pace that would make Val feel
better ("You're holding up great," "You'll be happy to get
home"). Sam's relaxed, confident body language and eye
contact helped instill Val with a sense of confidence,
making Sam's suggestions easier to believe. Sam waited
until after Val was feeling more open before launching the
political question. All in all, simply paying attention to Val's
issues and acknowledging them in a positive manner—with a
few positive suggestions thrown in—helped Sam to win Val
over.
In this scene, Sam used subtle matching. This scene is an

example of how matching does not need to involve
mimicry. Matching can simply mean paying attention to
others' states, and accepting them as they are. After it was
clear that Sam accepted Val's entire emotional state,
gentle suggestions were useful to make a personal
connection, and to communicate Sam's goals.
Matching Word Choice and Perception
The previous few examples showed you ways to subtly alter

your body language and voice to gain the trust and
attention of others. As another technique, you can meet
others in their perceived map of the world, which everyone
betrays through their word choice.
What do I mean by "map of the world"? Well, NLP teaches

that your perception of reality is not exactly the same as
reality itself. Think of lying in a sunny field: you may
notice the warm sun on your face, or the yellow and green
of the grass, or the sound of a breeze gently wafting
through the trees. You may notice what kinds of flowers,
insects, and wildlife share the field with you. Perhaps you
are attuned to the time of day or position of the sun in the
sky. You may also notice the thoughts that are going
through your head, or your plans for later in the evening,
or your emotions. But you probably can't pay attention to
all these details at once. The details you usually choose to
notice represent your map of the world. When you see a

play on stage, perhaps you notice the funny dialogue most.
Or perhaps it is the makeup and costuming. Maybe the
gentleman sitting next to you has a particularly nice
cologne whose scent you can't help but notice, or maybe he
has a particularly annoying cough. I would think it's safe to
say that you notice bits and pieces of any experience, and
that you then construct a map of the total experience from
these fragments.
Let's go over some ways to match others in perception, and

therefore in word choice.
First, try to notice whether your conversational partner

chooses to notice more details that are visual (seen),
auditory (heard), kinesthetic (felt), or conceptual (thoughts
and abstract concepts). Some of us pay more attention to
auditory details, such as the wind in the trees or the witty
exchange between actors. Some of us pay more attention
to visual details, like the shapes of clouds or the colors of a
play's set design. Some of us pay most attention to
kinesthetic, or "sense of touch" details: the feeling of the
springy grass under us, the moistness of a drop of dew, the
comfort or discomfort of our theater seats. These are all
sensory preferences: preferences toward what we see, hear
or feel. We often are quite transparent about our
perceptual preferences when we speak. Most of us fall into
one of these three columns:
Visual Auditory Kinesthetic

Colors, shapes, Sounds, volumes, Movement, texture
and visual noises, voices and touch details
details
"I see what you "I hear what you're "I feel what you're
mean" saying" saying"

"That tie is "That tie is loud" "That tie is jarring"
ugly"
"Let's focus" "That sounds good "Let's keep this
to me" moving"
A great way to notice which of these categories a person

uses most is through the following exercise: speak into a
tape recorder for about two minutes, about whatever topic
comes to mind. Keep the language flowing, and don't think
too much about NLP or theory. Just think about whatever it
is you're talking about. Afterward, make a table like the
one above. Listen to your tape recording, and write down
words and phrases from the recording, organizing them into
the three columns. You will probably find that you have a
bias for one of the senses over the others. The point of this
exercise is to raise your sensitivity to, and awareness of,
these distinctions. You may get a feel for your accustomed
tendencies. You will also become more sensitive to
perceptual preferences in those around you.
Once you've figured out your own sensory biases,

experiment with other senses. For example, if you find that
you almost never use kinesthetic details in speech, try to
spend a whole day noticing as many touch sensations and
physical movements as possible. During this time, you may
find that you actually use more kinesthetic language. The
more practice you have using different perceptual maps,
the better. The idea is to become more flexible and aware,
so you can understand the people you speak with.
The next step is to take this awareness to conversation

with another person. Speak with a friend, family member,
or even a stranger. Listen to their word choices and try to
discern what category they use most. If they use only

auditory details, then work some auditory details into your
own stories and figures of speech. This is another example
of matching, much like the physical and vocal matching
just discussed. People may not realize it consciously, but
they will be more at ease around someone who notices the
same sorts of sensory or abstract details that they
themselves tend to notice, and speaks in similar terms.
With someone you are meeting for the first time, it may be
useful to employ a balance of all three categories.
Let's return to our friend Sam, who is again trying to charm

the blissfully unaware Alex. This time, let's pretend the two
of them are on an outing at the zoo.
ALEX: Get a load of these two monkeys!
SAM: Where? What are they doing?
ALEX: Over there. The coarse-haired ones? One of them is

swinging and the other one is watching her go back and
forth.
SAM: Oh, the swaying ones. Yeah, they're like a tennis

match.
Sam noticed that Alex was noticing the monkeys in a

kinesthetic way, by using words like "load," "swing,"
"coarse," and "go." Sam responded with similar words—
"doing," "swaying," "tennis"—to better share in a kinesthetic

preference. The two may bond, subtly and slightly, because
of this shared sensory preference.
It could have just as easily happened visually instead:
ALEX: Look at these monkeys!
SAM: Which ones are you watching?
ALEX: The ones in the corner! There's a brown one with a

Mohawk, see it?
SAM: I see, yeah, he's looking at that fat monkey under

him.
This time, Alex used visual details: "look," "brown," and

"see." Sam responded in the same way with "watching,"
"see," "looking," and "fat."
Matching sensory word choice is a technique that can work

wonders in small doses, but can really bomb when
overdone. So make sure you don't force it! You wouldn't
want this to happen:
SASCHA: Do you see what I mean, Tony?
TONY: Look, I see. It's a very colorful point.

SASCHA: Uh… what do you mean?
TONY: What a beautiful day this is!
Ouch. Don't force word choice matching and annihilate

sense! Be like Sam and use matching in small doses, when
it will help you bond with those around you.
The importance of Body Language
This may seem obvious, but it is important to maintain

body language that will be pleasant and agreeable to the
person you are having a conversation with. You want your
body language to show that you are a completely at ease,
self-confident person. You also want your body language to
show that you are listening to what the other person has to
say, rather than being distracted. NLP teaches that using
the body language of a confident, charismatic person will
actually make you more confident.
Here's one tip: don't fidget. Fidgeting gives the impression

that our minds are elsewhere, or that we are nervous or
anxious. Your mind doesn't do anything without an explicit
purpose, and fidgeting is one of those things. So try to ask
yourself: "Why do I fidget?" If you are fidgeting with your
body because of some internal concern, perhaps try to
ascertain what this is. Quite often our emotional and
mental states will show themselves in our physical state,
and vice versa. By willing ourselves to stop fidgeting, we
may feel more calm and confident mentally and
emotionally. By addressing our emotional and mental
concerns, we can keep our fidgeting body parts at ease.

Decide what part of your fidgeting problem you wish to
address—the thoughts and anxieties, or the physical
movement itself—and practice changing this one part. Both
routes are useful. You will probably find it easiest to simply
will the fidgeting to stop; this self-imposed physical poise
will help you to feel mentally composed. Watch and notice
as changing a physical behavior or action causes wonderful
changes in your overall state. An added bonus of this, of
course, is that others will be more comfortable around you
than around a fidgeter who appears to be wrapped up in his
own world.
Another important body language technique is to maintain

eye contact. Moderation is important: don't stare anyone
down. But do let people know you are paying attention to
them, by looking at their eye region more than half the
time you're interacting.
Eye contact is an excellent tool to make new friends. It is

perfectly acceptable to make eye contact with strangers.
Again, staring is going overboard. But a nice, pleasant,
easygoing glance to acknowledge a person you encounter is
a friendly, charismatic gesture. If the person seems
uncomfortable, look away and respect their space. They
will respect and appreciate this consideration. However, if
they seem open to establishing contact, you might try
increasing your eye contact and starting a conversation.
Posture and eye contact make an excellent impression and
can be the start of grand new friendships.
Eye contact does not have to mean staring directly into

someone's pupils! Looking at their nose or forehead at
times can make for a more relaxed, less intimidating form

of eye contact.
The Importance of Appearance
Good grooming is another key to rapport and charm. Just as

people notice favorably when you step into their language
and map of the world, they will also notice when you hold
the same beliefs as them about personal grooming. This is
not to say you should be deliberately messy around sloppy
people, or prissily groomed around casual folks. Most of the
time, it's a good idea to simply maintain basic, moderate
cleanliness and effort. Here is a list of grooming habits that
you should try to keep up with:
• Shower or bathe frequently

• Keep your fingernails tidy
• Wear clean clothes that are not too big or too small
• Men: shave your face or trim your beard
• Brush or comb your hair
• Brush your teeth (and SMILE!)
• Pay attention to your posture. Stand up straight and
don't slouch or fidget.
• Lots of trips to the gym can't hurt. A workout not only
makes you feel more confident by flooding your body
with a sense of confidence; it also improves the
physique.
Genetic traits are not the biggest part of beauty. Good

grooming and positive self-image are far more important to
attractiveness and likeability than genetic physical traits.
Even Hollywood stars—who generally have been luckier
than the rest of us in the genetics department—owe most
of their attractiveness to confidence, posture, and
responsible grooming. You only have to look at a few

unflattering paparazzi shots to realize how much of
attractiveness is due to grooming and poise.
Above all, be considerate to others by staying clean and

well groomed. This will keep people from being distracted
by some part of your appearance, and will keep them
focused on your beautiful smile and riveting conversation.
EXPERIMENTING WITH POINT OF VIEW TO INCREASE YOUR

WISDOM, POWER, AND CONTROL
It's important to try to observe as many perspectives as

possible on a given situation. Just as we can't pay attention
to every single sensory detail of lying in a field or seeing a
show, we also can't pay attention to all points of view at
once. Switching up your points of view will help you to
broaden your awareness of these modes of seeing, so that
you can be more flexible, more informed, and more
equipped to make situations work for you.
So, what points of view can you incorporate? Well, first

there is first person. This is what you personally see,
through your eyes and your mind and your experiences and
emotions. Almost all of us use first person the most often.
Secondly, there is second person. This is when you look at a
situation from another person's point of view. You could
look at a conversation, for example, from the point of view
of the other participant—in which case, you'd probably be
looking at your own face. Second person involves putting
yourself in another person's shoes to try out their
perspective on things. Finally, you could try a third person
point of view. Rather than looking at things as yourself, or
as another individual would, you can try to look at them
from as detached a position as possible. Third person

involves looking at everything as though on a movie screen,
and this has some important uses in day-to-day life.
If all this is a little too abstract, don't worry! Here are some
exercises you can try.
Second person exercises
In private, think of someone you greatly admire. Pretend

you are this person. Try on his or her perspective. What
clothes would you wear, if you were this person? What
would these clothes feel like on your body? How would you
carry yourself? How would you speak? How would you spend
your day? Use this person's identity to mentally act out a
situation that feels socially awkward to you: what would
they do to handle the situation? Notice as much as you can
about your role model's point of view. If there is anything
in this person's way of looking at the world that you feel
would be healthy and beneficial to incorporate into your
own life, then try it out! Pretending to be someone you
admire will allow you to cherry-pick your favorites from
their behaviors and perceptual habits. Any positive ideas
you get from pretending to be a positive role model can be
implemented in your own life. But it's also important to
look at the world through your role models' eyes, simply for
the added details you may perceive.
Here is a second exercise. Pretend you are a total stranger.

Through this stranger's eyes, look at yourself. What is most
noticeable? What do you look like to this person? What do
you smell like, sound like, and say? What are your most
striking qualities to this stranger? Imagine engaging in a
conversation with yourself—what is it like? How do you hold
your shoulders and your hands? Taking this fresh strangers'

perspective, note all the qualities of yourself that you can,
and write them down in a notebook or journal. Later, you
can look at this list, and congratulate yourself on the traits
you admire and would like to keep. If there are traits you
admire less, don't beat yourself up over them—they're just
bad habits! Take these less desirable traits and work on
replacing them with habits you find to be more positive.
Looking at yourself through a stranger's eyes can work
wonders for choosing the personal qualities you want to
represent you.
As a final second-person exercise, try looking at yourself

through the eyes of someone who greatly admires you.
Some loved one who believes you can do anything no
matter what. Perhaps this is a parent, or a teacher from
your past, or a child whose heart you have particularly
won. Whoever it is, become this person and look at yourself
through their eyes. This person loves you dearly and
believes you can do no wrong. Using this person's
perspective, write down only your best qualities. Remind
yourself that you are a worthwhile, admirable person.
Congratulate yourself on your positive qualities and
remember to keep them. When you are feeling insecure or
frightened, look at yourself through this supportive
individual's point of view. You may find that an admirer's
imagined presence can increase your confidence quite a
lot, and make a difference in your social interactions.
Third-person exercises
So far we have looked at second-person point of view shifts

to help with self-confidence and expanded perspective.
We've imagined being a stranger, an admirer, and someone
we ourselves admire. Next, let's look at some third person

exercises. How can a detached point of view help you to
increase your charisma and charm? First, try using a third
person perspective to diffuse anxiety. Is there a situation
where you typically feel people are out to get you? Perhaps
you feel this way at the office, family gatherings, or even
among strangers. All of us, in times of negative self-image,
will feel that we are alone and unloved, or that the world
is malicious toward us. Most of the time, these paranoid
feelings are the result of self-doubt, and not of any factor
outside us. Take several deep breaths. Leave your first
person point of view. Take a look at the situation that
makes you feel threatened. Imagine that you are viewing
the situation from a very removed viewpoint. From this
removed viewpoint, do you feel less anxious? Remind
yourself that in almost all situations that cause us humans
to feel this way, there is no one actually invested in
causing us harm. Tell yourself that if you don't have proof
to back up your paranoia, they aren't worth worrying
about. Do you have any proof? Probably not. Probably what
you have are lingering, unpleasant thought cycles. You
merely need to interrupt these to start feeling better about
yourself. Third person can help throw a negative cycle off
track.
Another third person exercise can be used at any time

during the day. Simply back up, and take a look at yourself.
Look at the outside details: body language. Appearance.
Your voice, laugh, and words. Try this during conversations;
look not only at yourself, but also at those around you.
Realize you do not need to feel alone, because you have
much in common with those around you. Realize the
attractive qualities you have that are unique to you. Also,
pay attention to your physical arrangement when you talk
to others: who is leaning forward, or backward? What are

everyone's eye movements engaged with? What do
everyone's words have to say about how well they are
connecting with one another? Noticing these things is
valuable in itself. Being aware of your environment is a
huge step toward taking control of your life. Next, expand
beyond your immediate surroundings. Notice the whole
street you are on, and the movements and actions of
others. Expand your perception as far our as possible,
realizing you are a small and whole part of a very large
reality. This can offer a relaxing meditation in the midst of
a hectic day.
Another use for third person is in a business meeting, or

some other formal, official situation where you don't want
your emotions to come into play. Staying detached from a
business meeting will help others trust you more. This is
because you will seem to be paying attention to all issues
at hand, and not merely to your own internal state.
First-Person Exercises
Just as second person can help you understand other

individuals, and third person can help you see the larger
picture, first person can be useful for reminding yourself of
what you want and need. A good way to tap into your
personal point of view is to focus on an object in front of
you and realize that no one else is seeing it as you do, from
the same angle and with the same set of memories and
other sensory input. From this object, move on to the rest
of your environment. Look at everything around you
through your own eyes. Allow yourself to feel calm and
serene as you realize that no one is in your head but you.
You have complete control over your thoughts and
perceptions, because you're the only one having them! This

exercise will help you with serenity, and also control:
remember that you can control your life and internal state.
Maintain Variety
As you use NLP techniques to change your life, the most

important thing to remember about point of view is
variety! The more time you spend in first, second, and
third person, the more experienced you will become at
taking control. These are just a few of the things you will
start to notice as you practice deliberately shifting your
point of view:
• Detailed information about your own beliefs, desires,

habits, behaviors, and patterns, and those of others
• What makes others feel comfortable and at ease
• Enjoyable stories to bring up in conversation
• An increased sense of personal worth
• The power to change situations so that they make you
feel happy
• The power to change situations so that you can
achieve your goals
• Greater potential for success (whatever that means
for you)
• Self-confidence
• Others viewing you as wise and in control
Can you think of any others?
HOW TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE BY GETTING TO KNOW

YOURSELF
The more you know about yourself, the more power you
have to change your life for the better.
You might say, "But I already know myself! I'm closer to

myself than anyone else in the world!" If you stop and think
about this statement, however, you will see the flaw in it.
At what point can you say you "know" something? Obviously,
you can always know yourself more. For example, here are
some questions you could ask yourself (you might consider
writing down the answers! It couldn't hurt, and might help
you remember what you discover):
1 What do I like most about myself?

2 What are my best physical qualities?
3 What makes me happy?
4 What causes me pain and discomfort?
5 What makes me feel shy?
6 What makes me feel confident?
7 What are my goals for the future?
8 What do I admire in others, and how can I incorporate
these traits into my own life?
9 What would I like to be able to do?
10 What do I like most about myself?
11 What would be the ultimate success for me?
12 What do I need to change about myself to achieve
success?
13 What are the most important things about me?
14 What do I believe in?
It would be enormously beneficial to take out a journal or

open a word processor and write as much as you can to
answer each of these questions. Write any other questions
you can think of that will help you get to the core of
yourself, and answer these as well. The more you know
about yourself, the more choices you have. A favorite NLP
saying is that choice is always better than no choice!
When you have a good idea of what all of your personal

qualities are, try this exercise.
Pretend that you have a suitcase. Inside the suitcase,

imagine all of your experiences. Imagine your jobs being in
the suitcase, your friends, your family members, people
you have loved and hated and briefly known. Imagine your
clothes and possessions are in the suitcase. Put your tastes
in entertainment, your activities, the food you eat, and
the things you say in the suitcase. Imagine that in the
suitcase are your spiritual beliefs. Imagine your political
opinions are in the suitcase. Place in the suitcase your
goals, aspirations, and hopes. Place all of your dreams in
the suitcase. Place all of your fears and dark moments in
the suitcase, as well. Take a moment to put into the
suitcase anything else you can think of from your life,
traits, or experiences.
Now, step back and look at the suitcase you've packed. See
all these things as an observer. Realize they are not you;
they're not what's "doing the looking."
Is your suitcase too full? You, and you alone, can decide
what you're going to keep in your suitcase as you go
through life, and what you will abandon. You can pick and
choose what you would like to represent you and what you
would like to keep outside yourself. Remember that what
makes you "you" is not your habits, tendencies, and
patterns. The very fact that you can step back and look at
these parts of yourself means that they are not totally
you: they can be looked at, so they're not part of what's
doing the looking!
Accept yourself. Accept also that you can take qualities

you've acquired and let them go, so they are not part of
you any longer. Accept that you can build up your social
prowess and improve your life.
HOW TO MAINTAIN A POSITIVE SELF-IMAGE AND LOVE

YOURSELF
So far, we've discussed several ways to expand your

awareness—using points of view, getting to know yourself,
and noticing your environment. We've also discussed
methods for charming others—meeting them in their maps
of the world, matching their body language, and matching
their voices.
An added side effect of all of these techniques is that they

will make you feel more worthwhile and self-confident.
When people find us charming, we tend to notice their
positive feedback and feel good about ourselves. Also,
when we expand our awareness, we give ourselves more
choices, which in turn makes us feel more in control and
confident.
Here are some more exercises. These are for those times
when you really need to focus on your self-esteem, and
nothing else.
First, accept compliments. Think up five or ten sincere

compliments, and tell them to yourself. Don't worry if
they're small or large, just make them positive. Next,
imagine another person telling you these compliments.
Practice feeling grateful and appreciative of compliments,
and internalizing them. Do not feel embarrassed of the
good people see in you. For someone to vocalize a

compliment means they probably have several other things
they admire about you that they're not saying. Thank the
person for the compliment, and feel proud of your
strengths. Bring this graciousness in accepting compliments
to your everyday life.
Second, try new things. This could be as simple as a meal

you've never had, or it could be something much more
involved, like a vacation or a new job. Make a list of all the
new things you could try, without censoring the list as you
make it. Later, consult this list and pick some things to
actually try. If you feel like you don't want to try new
things, why do you feel this way? List your reasons, and try
to be honest. If you are truly fully satisfied with your life,
then maybe it's true that new things aren't for you.
However, how do you expect to create changes in your life
by continuing to act out the same actions over and over?
How can you know if something will improve your life,
unless you've tried it? Being aware of the new things you
could be trying, and actually doing some of them, can be a
huge self-esteem boost Change certainly won't arise from
doing the same things over and over.
Third, challenge yourself, but don't punish yourself. With

all these new experiences you'll be trying, there are sure to
be slip-ups and unforeseen embarrassments along with the
rewards. What mental processes do you typically go
through when you're about to be challenged? Do you tell
yourself you can achieve anything you try, or do you set
yourself up for failure? Make sure you're not punishing
yourself for "failing"; instead, accept the good with the
bad. Try things good-naturedly, accepting they may not go
how you want.
Many of us have a tendency to reject compliments and

punish our faults. In other words, we don't accept the
positive OR the negative in ourselves. Trying new things
goes hand in hand with accepting yourself, because risk
entails accepting the good and bad in your future self.
Taking risks is the surest path to loving yourself and feeling
more confident. All of these exercises will help you enjoy
social situations much more than ever before.
HOW TO USE SENSORY ANCHORS TO TRIGGER POSITIVE

EMOTIONS
Have you ever wished you could call up feelings of calm

and confidence whenever you wanted? One way to do this
is through "sensory anchors."
Here's a great exercise you can try the next time you are in
the throes of social awkwardness or shyness. The best time
to try this exercise is in private. You might want to try it
when you are having a particularly unpleasant memory, the
kind that makes you feel like you are right inside one of
your worst-case scenarios. Another good time to try this
technique is at the end of a particularly bad day, when you
get home and just feel horrible about yourself. Or you can
even try to play-act a negative emotional state when it is
not naturally occurring.
This exercise will help you to develop your sensory anchors.

Sensory anchors help you pull yourself out of negative
emotions.
Take a few minutes to let yourself relax completely.

Breathe, and notice yourself breathing. By focusing your
conscious mind on the physical act of breathing, you are

allowing your mind and body to be one unified whole.
Notice your breaths. Let each breath bring your body and
mind together.
Now close your eyes. Imagine something that makes you

apprehensive, maybe a certain social situation when you
fear you won't be confident or charismatic enough. Now
imagine that thing going as poorly as possible. What is the
worst-case scenario? Imagine all of the details. Next, focus
on how the imaginary scenario would make you feel, if it
really happened. If the feeling had a color, what would it
be? What about a texture? Where in your body is the
feeling located? Some of us feel anxiety and fear in our
chests, others in our stomachs, and others in our
shoulders. Where is your anxiety? Social anxiety can often
manifest itself as a sharp, stabbing sensation, or like a
spiny sea urchin lodged inside of us. What does yours feel
like? Pick whatever colors and textures come readily to
mind, without spending too much time on selecting them.
Now, put that collection of imagined sensations aside.

Imagine a small hill in front of you. It can be whatever size
you choose, as big as a pitcher's mound perhaps, or much
larger. In your mind's eye, in your imagination, approach
the hill. Remain seated or reclining, but pretend you are
walking to the hill. Up at the top of the hill is a
wonderful, pleasant, amazing feeling. At the top of the
hill is the exact opposite of the emotions you were feeling
down below. Reach the crest of the hill. When you are at
the top of the hill, savor the excellent feelings that flood
your being. These are the good feelings that come with
self-assurance and self-worth. You are an excellent,
likable, relatable person who is a delight to converse with.
You give hope, enjoyment, and peace to others. You are

the absolute pinnacle of charm. You exude a natural, easy
warmth and confidence and charisma without even trying.
People love you because you understand them and their
needs. People remember you long after seeing you, as a
positive and admirable individual.
Now, take a moment to notice the physical, sensory

qualities of these good feelings. Assign the good feelings a
color. Imagine you are bathed in a flood of light in this
particular color. What is the texture of feeling that your
goals are accomplished? Feel this texture; revel in it. What
are the sounds that surround you? Do you hear a
compliment from a loved one, a musical score, a breeze in
the trees or a roar of applause? What are the sounds that
are most impressed upon you at the top of this hill? Are
they in stereo, or mono? Remember some particular
feelings of your choosing. They might be colors, sights,
sounds, textures, tastes, or smells.
Now, walk back down the hill. Look up at the crest, and
see that the light is still there, know that if you walk to
your hill again you will feel the same positive feelings,
hear the same positive sounds. Take a few deep breaths.
Walk up the hill again, and stand at the top. Feel those
feelings again, feel that colored light and see it all around
you, hear those compliments from loved ones and
whatever other clear, positive noises you associate with
these feelings of success and charisma and charm. Enjoy
this particular sensory flood.
Walk down and up the hill several more times. Each time,
notice the hill from afar and see the pleasantly colored
light that rests on the crest. Stare up at the crest of the

hill. Contemplate what it will feel like to step up to the
top. Take a few deep, relaxing breaths, and then walk
onto the hill. Enjoy the sensations of love and
accomplishment.
The final time you leave the hill, take the sensations you
have chosen with you to ground level. Realize they are not
actually connected to the place of the hill, but you can
conjure them up whenever you like. Allow the colored
light to follow you down the hill. Retain the sounds and
touch sensations of success in your ears and on your body
as you walk away from the hill. Realize that this happy
fulfillment is your natural state. You can return to this
state whenever you like, by imagining the colors, sounds,
sights, and textures you have chosen.
Very gradually and without rushing yourself, allow yourself

to return to the room you are sitting or reclining in.
Before fully returning to reality, remember that you can
activate the deserved feelings of self-love and self-worth
whenever you like, just by calling up the sensations you
have chosen. Take a moment to catalog your sensory
triggers. Savor them. Remember the brightly colored light,
and allow it to continue coursing through you. Retain the
sounds and feelings of self-awareness and success.
Allow your sensation triggers to stay with you after you

open your eyes. You may be able to keep these feeling
throughout the entire day. As long as you hold on to these
positive sensations, you will feel successful, effective,
charming, and likable. And feeling this way MAKES IT
TRUE.
The next time you feel mired in negative feelings,

remember this exercise and conjure up the sensations you
felt at the top of your hill. You will notice these
sensations flooding you again, and with them the
accompanying feelings of success and exceptionality.
This exercise uses an NLP technique called anchoring.

Anchors are triggers that cause us to inhabit certain states.
For example, calling up a mental image of a frozen forest
covered in a blanket of snow may make us feel somewhat
cold. Remembering the way a parent tucked us in at night
as children may make us feel nurtured and protected. The
sensations you associate with the "hill" in this exercise will
help you feel confident and capable. By associating
sensations with emotions, we can feel any emotion simply
by calling up the associated sensation. You may find it
beneficial to cultivate a number of sensory anchors to call
up states of confidence, self-esteem, and success. This
control over your emotional state will make you an even
more successful, incredible person.
This is a story that I think will illustrate what I mean.
A certain man was terribly afraid of public speaking. At a

very young age, he was asked to give a report on
tarantulas to his class. This was perhaps in first or second
grade. The boy was lucky enough to have a father who
owned a pet shop, so he asked his father if he could take a
live tarantula to school for the report, in hopes of
achieving a higher grade. His father agreed, and the boy
was given a live tarantula—harmless, but very hairy and
large and scary-looking—in a plastic box. The tarantula had
ugly fangs and lots of eyes and hairy legs.
The boy was a very conscientious lad, and he prepared a

poster and a speech, even though he was only in early
grade school. He really outdid himself for someone so
young. When the big day came, his father drove him to
school with the poster and the box with the spider inside.
When it came time for the boy's speech, he got to the

front of the class and started describing the different
features of tarantulas - they have eight legs, they are of
such and such a size, etc. There were about twenty kids in
the class, and they were all watching him raptly. He really
thought things were going quite well.
Suddenly, in the middle of the boy's presentation, there

was a commotion on the other side of the room. Several
children, boys and girls were screaming. Some of them
were even on top of desks, really screaming in fright.
It turned out that he had forgotten to make sure the lid

was secure, and sometime during his presentation the
spider had escaped. It was scuttling across the floor, under
the desks. The class erupted. Everyone blamed the little
boy for the spider getting loose, and everyone was very
mad at him for the rest of the day. Even for the rest of his
time in elementary school, the boy found it hard to live
down the day he let a spider get loose in the middle of his
speech. He was given cruel nicknames, and shunned for
quite some time. On top of that, when his father found
out he'd lost one of his tarantulas, he gave his son a
spanking for being so careless.
Eventually, of course, the other children forgot about the

incident. However, the boy didn't realize this. He was so
self-conscious after the spider got loose that he became
nervous, skittish, and uncomfortable around others.
In grade school nowadays, children have to give a lot of

speeches to the class. After that day with the spider, this
little boy was petrified of speeches. He would look out at
the class and picture them all getting on top of desks with
horrified expressions, and feel the pain of his father's
spanking. He would stammer and go red in the face and
just deliver the most awful, shy, painfully anxious public
speeches. His fear also affected him in other parts of life,
and he had trouble making friends. His grades fell and he
was perpetually unhappy—all because he thought everyone
was still remembering the spider, even after they had
actually forgotten!
The boy began to get a reputation for shyness and

skittishness. Throughout his life, even after he became a
man, people would say, "oh, he's afraid of public speaking,
don't make him give the speech." This had a reinforcing
effect, and it made it easier for the man to believe that
he was truly a shy, unconfident person.
Occurrences in this man's life led to deeply ingrained

habits in his actions, and he grew up a stammering,
stuttering, shy mess. However, this was not who he was; it
was simply a pattern that had become habitual to him.
Eventually, the man decided he was not comfortable with

this state of affairs. Like all of us, he wanted to feel more
confident, and to be able to interact with people easily
and with skill. He went to a therapist, to see if there was
anything that could be done. The therapist told the man to
imagine a positive situation. He told the man to imagine
giving a speech that was immensely well received. Instead
of frightened faces and screams, the speech would be met

with beaming smiles, applause, and compliments. Instead
of a spanking, his father would give him a hug. In other
words, the idea was to balance out the negative
experience in the boy's past with a set of positive sights,
sounds, and physical details. He was asked to replay the
positive speaking experience over and over in his mind, to
reinforce a belief that he was confident and full of
charisma. As an added measure, his therapist asked him to
come up with a hand gesture that would be met with
special adoration: the man decided he would grin, and the
grin would be met with a wink by a beautiful woman in the
audience.
This wonderful memory was played over and over in the

man's head. Afterwards, he practiced that particular
winning grin as a way of remembering the imaginary,
positive experience in his mind.
Eventually, he had to give a speech at his brother's

wedding. Although this was a social situation that he
would have once found stressful, it was now enjoyable.
When he eventually gave a broad smile to an audience of
people and saw that imaginary woman winking back at
him, he was filled with robust confidence.
All the man needed to do was create a kinesthetic anchor

(the grin) and a visual anchor (the wink), and associate
these with powerful confident emotions.
This story is another example of anchoring, or associating

particular sensations with positive emotions, in order to
call up those emotions by using the sensory triggers.
Try storing up a few of these positive triggers, by practicing

them over and over in your mind. Take them out in times
of stress, or times when you're feeling low. You'll be
surprised how much calling up the memory of the positive
emotion will make you experience that emotion again! Your
anchors can be sights, sounds, actions, tastes, smells,
phrases—whatever works for you. Some people find it
useful to touch two fingers together or tap a toe once.
Anchoring is useful in social situations, of course—renewed

calm and confidence will not go unnoticed by the people
you meet in life!
HOW TO STAY POSITIVE THROUGH MODELING
One of the most fundamental NLP techniques is modeling.

To model is to choose a positive role model and determine
how they come about their positive qualities. Once you've
pinpointed some of their best traits, you can incorporate
their behaviors, decisions, and practices.
A good exercise is to make a list of your role model's best

attributes. This could be a politician, a celebrity, a
fictional character, or someone you know. Look at a person
whom you believe completely exemplifies charisma, charm,
and likeability. On a sheet of paper, answer the following
questions (guess if you have to):
• Why have they captured your attention in such a

positive way?
• What are their best qualities?
• What are the steps they go through to achieve the
states you would like to achieve?
• How do they hold themselves during conversation?
• If they appear honest and kind, what gives you that

impression?
Answering these questions should increase your awareness

of the components of charisma. Unfortunately, you will
probably have to guess or answer the questions yourself.
Asking your role model probably won't satisfy you, because
most very charismatic people do not realize they are using
cues. Often, they have forgotten a time when these
patterns were deliberate, and they now use these tools
without thinking about it. Once you've answered the
questions, try implementing a few of your role model's best
techniques in your own life. If you keep practicing these
techniques, they will become habit.
This is a story about someone who used modeling as a way

to achieve her goals.
Monika, who was working for a small marketing firm, had a

problem. Monika was consumed by a feeling that her
coworkers were judging her and conspiring against her.
Whenever she saw two of her colleagues by the water
cooler, and they were laughing and talking loudly, Monika
would assume they were making jokes at her expense.
Whenever she saw two people speaking in hushed tones in
the lunchroom, she naturally assumed it was gossip about
her. Any time her boss walked by, Monika assumed that
the boss was waiting for her to slip up and she would get
fired. She was consumed with the assumption that
everyone was constantly insulting her, her performance at
work, even her weight and her appearance. She was
totally, completely paranoid.
Of course, her coworkers weren't constantly thinking about

her. She was a little odd, maybe—that woman who always

seemed a little skittish—but that's not good enough gossip
to keep them talking about her and nothing else! Usually
they were talking about work, or their families, or their
plans for the weekend, or any other of a huge number of
topics.
From time to time, Monika would confide in me about her

problem. Finally, I asked her, was there anyone in her
office that she did trust, anyone who seemed totally
reliable, friendly, and totally on her side? She said yes:
there was a woman in HR who was always completely
charming and trustworthy. Although Monika didn't have
much of a history with the HR woman, she'd felt natural
and at ease around her from the moment they'd first met.
Although Monika worried about the rest of the office
judging her, she never had any apprehensive feelings
around this particular coworker. Monika honestly didn't
believe that the HR woman would ever have a negative
word to speak about anybody.
Well, I asked her, what are this woman's characteristics? I

told Monika she should make a list of this woman's best
qualities. This would help Monika determine the
ingredients of her role model's charisma.
This was the list Monika came up with:
• The woman stood up straight.

• She had a brilliant smile.
• She had an agreeable, rich voice.
• She always made eye contact.
• When she was talking with you, she never seemed
distracted.
• She was a great listener.

• She seemed honest.
• She was on the level.
• She wasn't overwhelming.
• She shared stories that were interesting.
• She gave compliments, even to people who weren't
around at the time.
• She never apologized for anything.
• She had wonderful hair.
• She laughed often, and in a way that seemed
"honest."
The traits that struck me most were those implying

honesty: simply by making people feel they are close to
you and your innermost thoughts, you can put them at
ease. Obviously, this doesn't mean bombarding them with
a stream of complaints. Rather, let them feel they are
getting to know the real you, but without seeming like you
are needy.
Another interesting trend was good listening skills. The

positive role model "never seemed distracted" and "wasn't
overwhelming"—signs that she was paying attention to
signals from her conversational partners. This was another
skill set my friend could implement.
I advised Monika to try adopting listening skills, honesty,

matching, and positive body language, in order to emulate
her good role model. She started with maintaining eye
contact, sitting up straight, paying attention to others'
body language, and refusing to apologize for herself. Over
the next few weeks, as she focused on others and resolved
to feel good about herself, she noticed people opening up
and feeling more comfortable around her. She also noticed
an increased sense of inner calm and peacefulness. She no

longer dwelled on what people thought about her.
One day, a coworker she'd never spoke with came up to

her, and they started trading stories. It felt quite natural.
Monika felt she was sharing a part of herself, and thus
making a friend! Her work had paid off! By focusing on
others, accepting herself, and using positive body
language, Monika was able to leave her first-person,
paranoid view and interact with others in a favorable,
charming way.
Modeling is a lot like varying your point of view. Both

techniques can help you break negative habits. Both
increase your awareness, showing you positive habits that
you can implement to improve your self-assurance and
social skills.
"WHAT TRAITS SHOULD I CULTIVATE, TO BE A MORE

CHARISMATIC PERSON NOW?"
Now that you've experimented some with NLP, let's review.

If you keep these four principles in mind, you will be much
closer to being a charming, open, self-confident individual.
1. Understand yourself and others. Get to know yourself.

Understand your feelings, beliefs, desires, goals, and
identity. Have intimate conversations with yourself
whenever possible, whether in a journal or in your mind.
Maintain a rapport with yourself, and pay attention to your
own patterns, habits, actions, behaviors, and words. Pay
attention to how you feel, emotionally and physically.
Do the same for other people you meet. Try to understand

their goals and their ways of mapping the world. See how
their language and behavior illustrate their map of the
world. Show them that you understand and are willing to
relate to them. To get to know yourself and others, pay
attention in creative ways: try point of view exercises,
journaling, rapport exercises, matching, and modeling.
When you respond appropriately to others and yourself, you

will exude charm and wisdom, while still being
approachable and fun. These are extremely likable traits.
They are also very useful for effective communication.
2. Know what you want. Understanding yourself and

others allows you to choose which traits you find to be
most desirable, both in yourself and others. Know which
traits you value, and which you would like to leave by the
wayside. Your life to this point is not you; it is merely a set
of acquired behaviors, experiences, and states.
Look at positive role models in your life especially. Notice

what it is about them that makes them confident, secure,
and likable. What traits of theirs would you like to take on?
What does it feel like when you are liked, when you exude
charisma and charm? These are things that you want.
Practice trying new things, accepting compliments, and
challenging yourself. Discover what you want out of life.
Make a list of your goals, aspirations, and deepest personal

beliefs. Know what you want, both today and in the long
term. Defining your goals will help you make room for the
"big rocks" and have the fullest life possible.
3. Be aware. Pay attention to your surroundings. The more

aware you are, the more choices you have. The more
choices you have, the greater your control. Experiment
with different points of view. Make lists of visual, auditory,
kinesthetic, and linguistic details. Take a third-person view
when possible, to observe yourself and others. Observe as
many physical, mental, and emotional details as possible.
4. Be flexible. Self-improvement is a long road of

attempting new and creative behaviors and thoughts. Be
adaptable and adventurous enough to attempt new modes
of thought, interaction, and perception. If a particular
behavior isn't bringing you to the goal you desire, try
another. Don't worry any more than necessary about
predicting the outcome. Through trial and error, you will
find the methods of action that work best for you.
A FEW THINGS TO REMEMBER IF YOU BECOME

DISCOURAGED
Remember that your desired traits are already a part of

you. You merely have to establish productive mental habits
in order to access them.
There are lots of reasons why you might want to increase

your charm and charisma. It's nice to have people like you,
whether at parties or on dates or simply passing by as
strangers in the park or at the grocery store. Keep in mind
the positive outcomes of your goals. This will help you
concentrate on the "big rocks."
There are many additional positive outcomes of improved

social skills. Consider the pragmatic uses. If you are in
sales, for example, an easygoing, charming manner may
help your clients listen to what you have to say. The same
goes for canvassing, politics, mission work, and any

profession when you interact with others. Among your
colleagues, charisma is a brilliant tool for exercising
leadership. People enjoy following likable individuals.
Thus, charisma and charm are useful for communicating
and achieving your pragmatic goals, as well as for making
social situations more rewarding. Notice charisma working
for you in day-to-day interactions, even on a small scale!
If you feel overwhelmed by all these exercises, start

simple: stand up straight, smile, and don't fidget too much.
Take care of your physical appearance. NLP doesn't require
lots of deep thinking: just a few outward changes can get
you started and help you take huge strides toward
excellence. Good posture and a smile will greatly improve
your confidence, and they will get people noticing you
more and giving you compliments!
IF YOU START TO WORRY ABOUT BECOMING ARROGANT
Of course, moderation is important in all we do. Balance

your self-confidence with awareness of others' desires and
comfort levels. Remember to smile. Really listen. Show
others you are listening to them with your posture. On the
other hand, never feel guilty for loving yourself!
Self-confidence is a powerful component of likeability.

When a person is confident in his or her own capabilities
and value, others naturally feel attracted to that person.
It's important to remind yourself of your value and your
abilities. People can tell when you value yourself, and they
are usually compelled to agree that you are wonderful.
Shyness is often caused by a negative self-image. We worry

that others may know better than we do, so we keep quiet

and attempt to keep our thoughts to ourselves. By
increasing our self-assurance, we automatically become
more proactive and less shy. Confidence is a wonderful tool
for improving our overall quality of life.
CONCLUSION
Remember, you are not a slave to your habits. By taking

action to change your life's patterns, you can alter your life
to achieve your goals. To change your life's patterns, try
the above exercises in matching, body language, point of
view, anchoring, and modeling. If you continue to believe
in yourself and your abilities, your confidence and
flexibility will help you achieve more than you've ever
thought possible! Keep bravely trying new things, and you
will go far down the road of self-fulfillment.
Using NLP, you can become a charismatic, charming person

who is loved by all. The key is to become broadly aware of
your habits, behaviors, actions, and identity, as well as the
habits and desires of those around you. The more aware
you can be of yourself, others, and your environment, the
more you control you have over every social situation. Your
awareness gives you choices; your confidence gives you fuel
for action; your flexibility lets you improve yourself. But
don't take my word for it. Go out and try it for yourself!
WORKS CONSULTED
1. Felber, Terry. Am I Making Myself Clear? Secrets of the

World's Greatest Communicators. Nashville: Thomas
Nelson Publishers, 2002.
2. Eason, Adam. Personal Magnetism.
3. Knight, Sue. NLP at Work: The Difference that Makes a

Difference in Business. London: WS Bookwell, 2002.
4. Nezu, Christine Maguth and Arthur M. Nezu. Awakening

Self-Esteem: Spiritual and Psychological Techniques to
Enhance Your Well-Being. Oakland: New Harbringer
Publications, 2003.
5. O'Connor, Joseph and Ian McDermott. NLP. Hong Kong:

Thorsons, 2001.
Edisi Bandler Effect
*Edisi Bandler Effect 1. Aksi Live Therapy Richard Bandler terhadap client client nya yang siap
Anda model dengan tema :
1. Creativity (40 Minutes Good Quality AVI Video File)

2. Motivation (60 Minutes Good Quality AVI Video File)
3. Confidence (50 Minutes Good Quality MPEG Video File)
Bonus:
1. Audio Book 7 Chapter "The Hidden Secrets of Hypnotic Mind Control)

2. Audio Book "David Snyder's Secret Phone Call"
3. Video "Gentle Rapid Hypnosis" by Brian Phillips
4. 16 Video Clip "Mind Game Magic", Tricks by Igor Ledochowski
Video dan Audio dalam bahasa Inggris tanpa terjemahan
Harga hanya untuk biaya produksi sebesar Rp. 60.000 saja
* Edisi Bandler Effect 2 Aksi Live Therapy Richard Bandler terhadap client client nya yang siap
Anda model dengan tema
1. Health (40 Minutes Good Quality AVI Video File)

2. Changing Habit (50 Minutes Good Quality AVI Video File)
Bonus:
1. Audio Book 7 Path Self Hypnosis System by Calvin Banyan

2. Video "Training in Indirect Hypnosis" + Audio Book by Steve Brooks (170 Minutes Medium
Quality)
3. Video "Essential Skill Interview Magic" (100 Minutes Medium Quality)
Video dan Audio dalam bahasa Inggris tanpa terjemahan

Harga hanya untuk biaya produksi sebesar Rp. 60.000 saja
Harga Special bila anda pesan langsung 2 paket yaitu hanya Rp. 100.000 saja
Cara Pemesanan:
1. Transfer sebesar biaya = Rp 60.000- atau Rp 100.000 saja bila langsung pesan 2 paket (Daerah
Bandung & JABODETABEK Gratis Biaya Kirim. Luar daerah Bandung & JABODETABEK
ongkos kirimditambah Rp 10.000,- ) ke:
Rek BCA (Bank Central Asia), No. Rek 008-0331223 a/n Mochamad Widi Safari
2. Setelah Transfer , SMS Nama & Alamat Anda ke no 081395035145, dan DVD akan sampai
langsung ke alamat Anda
Posted by Abah-Abi at 8:41 PM 0 comments
Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Edisi Ebook & Audio Book
Lengkapi Perpustakaan Digital Anda dengan EBook dan Audiobook Pilihan.
Mulai dari Ebook Instan Self Hypnosis (How to Hypnotize Your Eyes WIth Eyes Open),
Healing With Stories (Therapy dengan metoda bercerita), The NLP Pocket Book yg begitu
simple dan padat menjelaskan dasar dasar NLP, sampai karya #1 New York Times Best Selling
Author "Healing Back Pain", John E. Sarno dengan karya terbarunya "The Divided Mind , The
Epidemic of Mind Body Disorders" serta piluhan ebook ebook lainnya. Listnya dapat Anda lihat
& Klik Gambar dibawah:
Plus Audio Book MP3 "Deep Trance Identification", by John Ovedurf dan "Delta Sleep System"
nya Dr. Jeffrey D. Thompson.
Harga cuma untuk mengganti biaya produksi sebesar Rp. 30.000 saja
Semua Materi dalam Bahasa Inggris tanpa Terjemahan
Cara Pemesanan:
1. Transfer sebesar biaya = Rp 30.000- (Daerah Bandung & JABODETABEK Gratis Biaya
Kirim. Luar daerah Bandung & JABODETABEK ongkos kirim disesuaikan, silahkan cek tarif
JNE) ke:
2. Setelah Transfer , SMS Nama & Alamat Anda ke no 081395035145, dan CD akan sampai
Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Edisi Khusus Akhir Tahun, Beli 2 DVD bayar setara dengan 1 DVD
Video NLP edisi special akhir tahun, beli 2 DVD harga hampir setara 1 DVD saja…
Edisi Akhir Tahun ini terdiri dari:
DVD 1: Edisi Akhir Tahun 1

1. State of the Art by Richard Bandler (250 Minutes Video)
2. Secret of Stage Hypnotis, bt Dr James Lazzarini (60 Minutes Video)- dengan teks Bahasa
Indonesia
3. Unconscious Persuassion, by Kenrick Cleveland (70 Minutes Video)
Bonus:
1. Audio Book 26 Seri “Personal Power II” by Anthony Robbins
2. Audio Book Flow, The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihaly Csiksz
DVD2: Edisi Akhir Tahun 2

1. The Dark Side, by Kenrick Cleveland (110 Minutes Video)
2. Anchoring, Influence, and other Sneaky Stuff, by Tom Vizni (240 Minutes Video)
Bonus:
1. Inner Game- Hypnotica (60 Minutes Video)
2. Koleksi EBook Manual Kenrick Cleveland
Maaf Harga sudah Normal tapi masih tetap murah saja Rp. 90.000 buat 2 DVD… betul untuk
2 DVD Edisi Khusus Akhir Tahun
Cara Pemesanan:
Kirim & Luar daerah Bandung & JABODETABEK tambah ongkos kirim Rp. 10.000) ke:
2. Setelah Transfer , SMS Nama & Alamat Anda ke no 081395035145, dan 2DVD akan sampai
Posted by Abah-Abi at 1:03 AM 0 comments
Tuesday, December 22, 2009

PROMO AKHIR TAHUN !!!
Dear All,
Setiap Pembelian minimal 2 Seri Video NLP & Hypnosis di : ebooknp.blogspot. com , GRATIS
Bonus tambahan:
* 6 set Audio Book "Zero Limits: The Secret Hawaiian System for Wealth, Health, Peace, and
More", Joe Vitale mengungkap kehebatan Hawaian System nya Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len, yang
pernah menyembuhkan sebangsal penjahat dengan penyakit mental di Hawaii, tanpa pernah
bertatap muka atau bertemu dengan mereka
*
Audio Self ypnosis " I Can Make You Rich", dari Paul Mckenna
* Audio Book Teleseminar Interaktif "Law Attraction" bersama pakar LOA dan juga seorang
Praktisi NLP. Michae J. Loiser
* Ebook "The Secret Language of Feeling" by Calvin Banyan
* EBook " Hypnosis; A Comprehensive Guide" by Tad James, etc
NB: Selain Paket. Video dapt anda pilih sesuai keperluan, harga & kapasitas DVD akan
disesuaikan
Salam....
Wednesday, December 9, 2009

NLP Seri 12: Bandler in Action 2
1. Video Richard Bandler di Dublin dalam merayakan "30 Years of NLP". Momen yang tepat
bagi anda yang ingin mengenal NLP maupun yang sudah menjadi Praktisi NLP. Durasi 300
menit.
2. Video The Science of Nested Loop, by Richard Bandler, saksikan kelihaian sang Master
dalam mendemo kan "Nested Loop" yang membuat setiap orang penasaran terhadap materi yang
disampaikan. Durasi 100 menit.
Bonus:
Video NLP Practicioneer "Reframing & Negotiation" Durasi 400 menit dalam format MP4
Harga Promosi :
Rp. 60.000,-
(biaya hanya untuk mengganti ongkos produksi )
Cara Pemesanan:
2. Setelah Transfer , SMS Nama & Alamat Anda ke no 081395035145

NLP Seri 11: Sleight of Mouth
Berbagai Teknik Sleight of Mouth dengan keajaiban bahasa dalam mengubah keyakinan yang
membatasi potensi diri.
1. Sleight of Mouth Video by Robert Dilts (4 set Video- durasi 300 menit)
2. Conversational Belief Change Video + Ebook by Jamie Smart (2 set Video- Durasi 100 Menit
+ Demo Sleight of Mouth)
Bonus:
56 Track Audio Book "Conversational Belief Change" by Jamie Smart
Harga Promosi :
Rp. 60.000,-
Cara Pemesanan:

NLP Seri 10: Ericksonian Edition 2
4 Seri 200 Menit Video Klasik Ulasan Langsung dan Demo Richard Bandler dan Edward Reese
terhadap Ericksonian Hypnosis.
Bonus:
Video Paul Mckenna- Hypnotherapy Weight Loss

Audio Book Anmnesia Negation, by Richard Bandler
Harga Promosi :
Rp. 50.000,-
Cara Pemesanan:

NLP Seri 9: Ericksonian Edition
NLP Seri 9: Ericksonian Edition
01 - Induction Techniques (Stephen Lankton)

02 - Fundamental and Easy to Learn Ideodynamic Approaches to Therapeutic Hypnosis (Ernest
Rossi)
03 - Getting a Good Trance Going (Betty Alice Erickson)
04 - Acessing and Contextualizing Resources in Hypnosis(Michael Yapko)
05 - The Use of The Therapist's Self In Hypnotherapy (Stephen Gilligan)
Presented at The Ninth International Congress on Ericksonian Approaches to Hypnosis and

Psychotherapy with the Masters - Stephen Lankton, Ernest Rossi, Betty Alice Erickson, Michael
Yapko and Stephen Gilligan. Covers:
Induction Techniques
Fundamental and Easy to Learn Ideodynamic Approaches to Therapeutic Hypnosis
Getting a Good Trance Going
Accessing and Contextualizing Resources in Hypnosis
The Use of the Therapist's Self in Hypnotherapy
Bonus:
Video Milton Erickson "Working With Resistant", saksikan Master Hypnotist

mendemonstrasikan kehebatannya.
Kumpulan Paper Milton Erickson Seperti Utilization Technique, Trance Induction, Hypnotic
Behaviour, Resistant Patient, dll
Harga Promosi :
Rp. 60.000,-
Cara Pemesanan:

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

NLP Seri 8: NLP, Hypnosis, & Energy Psychology
NLP Seri 8: NLP, Hypnosis, & Energy Psychology
1. Video Basic Workshop: "Quantum Touch" (240 Minutes) by Richard Gordon. Dasar dasar
bagi mereka yang mau menguasai Sentuhan Tangan Penyembuhan dalam penyaluran energi
untuk penyembuhan dan melengkapi pengobatan Medis yang sudah Ada.
2. Audio Book "Heal Yourself with Medical Hypnosis" plus 4 Teknik Medical Hypnosis yang
sudah terbukti
3. Audio Book "NLP Health & Well Being", by Joseph O' Connor
4. Audio Book "Pain Control with EMDR"
Bonus:
Koleksi Video EFT dari Gary Craig:
1. Physical Issues
2. Adictive Craving
3. Toxins, Phobia, & Persistence
4. Common Problems and Question Answer
Koleksi Ebook Quantum Touch :
1. Quantum Touch by Richard Gordon

2. Super Charging Quantum Touch,by Allain Heriot
Harga Promosi :
Rp. 60.000,-
Cara Pemesanan:
3. Segera setelah Transfer anda kami terima, DVD akan langsung dikirim ke alamat anda.
NLP Seri 7: Michael Hall Series
NLP Seri 7
1. 4 set Video "Mind Lines" (masing masing set berdurasi 100 menit dalam format AVI + Ebook
nya)dari Michael Hall, yang menggunakan NLP dalam Mind Lines dan merupakan "Great Tool"
untuk siapapun yang tertarik pada NLP maupun aliran NLP "Neurosemantic".
Video & Buku "Mind Lines" mengajarkan bagaimana mengenali dan menggunakan "Magic
Language". Mind-Lines menggunakan pola Sleight-of-Mouth yang diapadu dengan Sistem
"Logical Level" dari "Meta-States". Michael Hall juga mengajarkan penggunaan bahasa dalam
proses influencing, persuading, selling, negotiating, dan interaksi dalam hubungan antar manusia
lainnya.
2. 24 set CD Audio Book "Meta NLP Practicioneer Training" , dari Michael Hall dengan durasi
26 jam.
Bonus:
1. Video "Shyness Therapy Session", by Richard Bandler, yang merupakan satu sesi Richard
Bandler dalam melakukan therapy terhadap klien dengan penyakit rasa malu yang tidak pada
tempatnya
2. Video "Time Distortion", by Richard Bandler
3. Audio Book & Ebook "A course in Metaphor" by Kevin Hogan
Harga Promosi :
Rp. 60.000,-
Cara Pemesanan:
NLP Seri 6: Bandler in Action
Koleksi Terbaru... Masih tetap Murah dan Banyak
NLP Seri 6: Richard Bandler in Action
Seri Class of a Master, Aksi Richard Bandler bermain main dengan Hypnosis dengan gaya lugas
dan humoris dalam berinteraksi dengan penonton. Terdiri dari Tema:
1. Instant Talent (60 Minutes AVI File)
2. Inner Beauty (60 Minutes AVI File)
3. Rapid Hypnotic Inductions(60 Minutes AVI File)
4. Fantastic Futures (60 Minutes AVI File)
Bonus:
450 Minutes Video "Rare Bandler", sebuah video kalsik training NLP Richard Bandler di tahun
80 an yang disi dengan aksi demonstratif bersama partisipan dalam aplikasi utilizing linguistic,
humor, submodalities, V/K disasosiation, word play, Hypnotic techniques, going into trance
game, a neat variation of phobia cure, The Parrot Induction, dll.
Harga Promosi :
Rp. 60.000,-
Cara Pemesanan:

NLP Seri 5
NLP Seri 5
Koleksi Video Hypnosis untuk Anda:
1. The Secret of Hypnosis Video Training by Jamie Smart (200 Minutes AVI Files)
2. Clinical Hypnosis Induction Techniques Video Live Therapy, by Rick Boyes (90 Minutes
AVI Files)
3. Accelerated Learning Video by Paul Mckenna (50 Minutes AVI File)
4. Virgina Satir (Therapist who was modeled by Richard Bandler and John Grinder in NLP
Journey) Video Training (150 Minutes Divx file)
Bonus:
• John Burton EBook Collection: Hypnotic Language Ver 1 & 2, States of Equilibrium
• NLP Hypnosis Influence Persuation Ebook Collection : Street Hypnosis, Max Persuation 2000,
Hypnotic Selling Manual, Words that Change Mind, Get anyone to Say Yes in 8 Minutes, etc.
• 12 Hypnosis EBook Collection: Advance Hypnosis Techniques, How and Why Hypnosis
Work, The Art of Hypnosis, etc
• Super Memory Software Training for Memory Training
• Ebook ‘”Ten Minute Trainer”
• Ebook and Audio Book in Handling Overload Mind “Eliminate your Overwhelm”
• Ebook Bryan Tracy “Eat That Frog”
Harga Promosi :
Rp. 60.000,-
Cara Pemesanan:
NLP Seri 4
Koleksi Terbaru masih tetap murah Langka & Banyak
NLP Seri 4
1. Secret of Personal Mastery Video Training by Michael Hall (300 Minutes Avi File)
2. Increasing Expensiveness Video Training by Richard Bandler (70 Minutes AVI File)
3. Conquering Overwhelming Loss, Anthony Robbins Video in Dramatic Live Action for
Handling Person who is desperate, bankrupt, loss everything, and want to suicide (90 Minutes
AVI Files)
Bonus:
• Audio Book Richard Bandler “Melting Phobia”
• Ebook Creating Irresisteble Influence by Charles Faul kner
• Training Modul “The Accelerated NLP Master Practicioneer”, by Tad James
• Michael Hall Ebook Collection: Dragon Slaying, Unleashed, Winning the Inner Game, The
Matrix Model, Games for Mastering Fear, Submodalities Going Meta, User Manual For the
Brain Vol II, and Instan Relaxation
• Succes With NLP Training Manual Training Collections by Adam Khoo
• Anthonny Robbins Training Academy Manuals Collection
Harga Promosi :
Rp. 60.000,-
Cara Pemesanan:
Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Testimoni !!!
Apa Kata Mereka yang sudah memesan Paket DVD NLP & Hypnosis (Testimoni diambil secara
alami & spontan, sukarela via sms):
"Ass. Met sore Bpk, Q sdh trm paket dok. DVD nya & di tgu inspirsai & inovasi yang lebih
DAHSYAT. tq" (Dicky, Surabaya)
"Mr. Widi paketnya "Luar Biasa"* Thank you*" (Henry, Cilacap)
"Alhamdulillah pak Widi. Paketnya satu CD sudah sampai kemarin. Trms" (Sujatmiko, Jakarta)
dll....
Kami tungg pesanan Anda....
Salam

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Terbaru!!! Koleksi Video Hypnosis & NLP Seri 3
Lengkapi Koleksi & Rujukan NLP & Hypnosis Anda dengan Koleksi Video Hypnosis & NLP
Seri 3:
1. Neuro Hypnotic Repatterning, 60 minutes AVI Video Training by Richard Bandler

2. Positive Motivation Strategies, 60 minutes AVI Video Training by Richard Bandler
3. NLP Practicioneer Training, "Submodalities" (420 Minutes MPEG4 Video)
4. NLP Practicioneer Training, "Ecology" (150 Minutes MPEG4 Video)
5. NLP Practicioneer Training, "Anchoring" (180 Minutes MPEG4 Video)
6. NLP Practicioneer Training, "Setting Useful Outcome" (150 Minutes MPEG4 Video)
7.NLP Practicioneer Training, "Milton Model" (270 Minutes MPEG4 Video)
8.NLP Practicioneer Training, "Strategies" (240 Minutes MPEG4 Video)
9.NLP Practicioneer Training, "Strategy Anchoring Testimonial" (90 Minutes MPEG4 Video)
10.NLP Practicioneer Training, "Information Gathering" (210 Minutes MPEG4 Video)
11.NLP Practicioneer Training, "Representational System" (150 Minutes MPEG4 Video)
Bonus:
> Audio Book "Better Study Habits with NLP", 22 Menit
> Audio Book "Stop Smoking for Good", by Paul Mckenna
> Ebook "NLP & Health" by Joseph O' Connor & Ian Mc Dermott
> Ebook "Practical Guide to Metaphor and Advance Metaphor" by Keith Livingston
> Ebook "Ethical Influence with NLP Manual" by Jamie Smart
> Ebook "Eat that Frog" by Bryan Tracy
> Ebook "Money & The Law of Attraction" by Abraham Hicks
Video & Ebook dalam Bahasa Inggris dan dikemas dalam format DVD
Harga :
Rp. 75.000,-
Cara Pemesanan:
Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Koleksi Video Hypnosis & NLP Seri 2
Lengkapi Koleksi & Rujukan NLP & Hypnosis Anda dengan Koleksi Video Hypnosis & NLP
Seri 2:
1. Instan & Rapid Induction, 120 minutes WMV Video Training by Gerald Kein
2. Advanced Self Hypnosis, 120 minutes WMV Video Training by Gerald Kein
3. Richard Bandler's Pattern of Intimacy, 90 Minutes WMV Video Training & Demo by
Richard Bandler
4. 6 Series of Covert Hypnosis Secret (Killer Influence) WMV Video Training, by David X
5. NLP Practicioneer Training, "Sensor Accuity" (90 Minutes MPEG4 Video)
6. NLP Practicioneer Training, "Rapport" (90 Minutes MPEG4 Video)
7.NLP Practicioneer Training, "The Lanuage of Influence" (120 Minutes MPEG4 Video)
8.NLP Practicioneer Training, "Metaphor" (120 Minutes MPEG4 Video)
9.NLP Practicioneer Training, "Intervention Technique" (120 Minutes MPEG4 Video)
10.NLP Practicioneer Training, "Neuro Logical Level" (120 Minutes MPEG4 Video)
Bonus:
> Dilts Strategy, Koleksi Ebook Modelling RObert Dilts terhadap tokoh2 sukses seperti Einstein,
Leonardo Davinci, Disney, dll.
> Ebook "Spirit of NLP" by Michael Hall
> Ebook "Figuring Out People" by Michael Hall
> Ebook "Mind Control Language Pattern" by Dantalion Jones
> Koleksi Ebook Advance EFT
> "Hypnotic Selling" 80 Minutes WMV Video Training by Joe Vitale
Video & Ebook dalam Bahasa Inggris dan dikemas dalam format DVD
Harga :
Rp. 75.000,-
Cara Pemesanan:
Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Edisi Download : EBook NLP & Hypnosis Terbaru !!!
Dear All,
Upgrade pengethauan "Street Smart" Anda dengan Koleksi EBook NLP & Hypnosis terbaru
yang praktis untul kesuksesan hidup Anda. Koleksi koleksi terbaru tersebut adalah:
1. Richard Bandler's Guide to Trance- Formation, sebuah karya Richard Bandler yang
mengungkap pertanyaan tentang "Kemiripan" dan "Perbedaan" antara NLP & Hypnosis.
2. History of Bandler, sebuah sisi lain perjalanan sang Maestro NLP yang ditulis dalam sebuah
majalah.
3. My Voice Will Go With You, karya Milton Erickson yang mengkisahkan cerita cerita
persuasif yang pernah diceritakan pada pasien pasien nya
4. Precision, a new Approach to Communication, Buku Langka karya John Grinder
5. Change Your Mind & Keep The Change, karya Steve & Andreas Connirae yang merupakan
para saksi hidup perjalanan kesuksesan NLP
6. Hypnosis in Clinical Practice, pola penerapan hypnosis di dunia medis
7. The Hypnosis of Life Book, sebuah panduan untuk menghadapi "kerasnya" hidup
8. NLP & Hypnosis Card Game (Zebu & Hypotic Language Pattern), untuk terapan NLP yg
menyenagkan
9. The Big Book of NLP, yg berisi 200 lebih teknik NLP praktis
10. Software vision to Action
11.... dan akan terus diupdate bila ada Ebook terbaru
Cara Pemesanan:
1. Transfer sebesar Rp 10.000 ke:
2. Setelah Transfer sebesar Paket yang Anda Inginkan, SMS Nama & Alamat Email Anda ke no
081395035145
3. Segera setelah Transfer anda kami terima, Halaman Link Download langsung dikirim ke
alamat Email anda. (Tolong simpan baik2 link download pribadi Anda ini bila ada update
terbaru)
4. Kami akan kirim link Download selama jam kerja (kan08.00-17.00). Apabila Anda mengirim
berita transfer diluar jam kerja, kami tetap akan kirim pada jam kerja kesokan harinya
Monday, September 21, 2009

Seri 1: Koleksi Ebook NLP & Hypnosis
Dear All,
Sekedar sharing koleksi Ebook & Video NLP & Hypnosis Saya,
Saatnya Merubah diri jadi lebih baik…
atau tetap seperti kondisi anda sekarang dan…
Orang lain lebih cepat merubah diri mereka jadi lebih baik dan bergerak lebih cepat dari anda
dalam meraih peluang-peluang yang ada…
Apa bedanya antar mereka yang cepat merubah diri mereka & melesat meraih kesuksesan..
Dengan mereka yang kondisinya biasa biasa saja & belum juga sukses…
ILMU yang mebedakannya…
Saatnya anda tahu apa yang orang lain belum mengetahuinya…
Dapatkan ILMU2 SUKSES tersebut dalam koleksi perpustakaan Digital.
PAKET 1
Koleksi Ebook NLP:
* Prince To Frog (Richard Bandler)

* Trance Formation (Richard Bandler)
* Use your brain for a change (Richard Bandler)
* Structure of Magic (Richard Bandler)
* Persuasion Engineering (Richard Bandler)
* Using Your Brain for a Change (Richard Bandler)
* Time for a Change (Richard Bandler)
* An Insider Guide to Sub Modality (Richard Bandler)
dan… masih ada lagi…
* Unlimited Power (Karya seorang Motivator Dunia yang Jenius, Anthony Robbins)
* Awaken The Giant Within (Anthony Robbins)
* Rapid Planning Method (Anthonny Robbins)
* The Ultimate NLP Home Study Course
* Introduction to NLP (Joseph O' Connor)
* The User Manual For The Brain
* NLP Work Book
* NLP at Work
* NLP SImulation Eye Accessing
Dan tunggu dulu… masih ada BONUS Ebook & Software Hebat lainnya
* Law of Atrraction (Buku Praktis & mudah dipraktekan karya Bapak Law of Attraction,
Michael J. Loiser)
* The Gratest Money making Secret in History (Joe Vitale)
* Create Your Own Future (Karya Motivator Dunia, Brian Tracy)
* Crunch Point, 21 Secret to Succeeding (Brian Tracy)
* Goals, How to Get Everything You Want, Faster Than You Ever Though Possible (Brian
Tracy)
* The 21 Absolutely Unbreakable LAW of Money (Bryan Tracy)
* Body language, How to Read other Thoughts by their Gestures (Allan pease)
* 100 % Brain Course, Creative Exercise to Develop 100 % your Brain
* Ninja Mind Control
* Software Hebat Yang bisa membaca karakter hanya dari tulisan anda
BONUS TERBARU:
> Video Klip Interview bersama Richard Bandler
> Video Klip Interview Bersama John Grinder
> Video Klip Interview Stephen Gilligan
> 5 Seri Video Paul Mckenna yang membantu orang lain untuk mengatasi berbagai masalah
hidup dengan metoda NLP & Hypnosis dalam program "I Can Change Your Life"
> Video Klip Hypnosis Session Paul Mckenna
> Video Klip NLP Technique by Tad James (NLP Time Line Therapy Founder)
> 5 Video Klip Anthony Robbins
> Audio Book NLP
> Software NLP untuk melatih Meta Language (NLP Coach)
> Ebook + Software "Mind Controll Million" (Ebook & Aplikasi Software penerapan Teknik
NLP (Embed Command) dalam pembuatan Sales Copy yang dahsyat.
Oke kalau begitu harga semua ebook bisa sampai RATUSAN DOLLAR… tapi tidak…
bagimana kalau 50 DOLLAR saja… atau saya turunkan drastis hanya Rp. 100.000 saja… (hanya
untuk ongkos kirim dan biaya produksi saja)
TAPI TUNGGU DULU, UNTUK 10 PEMESAN PERTAMA, EBOOK EBOOK HEBAT ITU
SAYA HARGAI… HANYA
Rp. 50.000,-
SETELAH ITU, HARGA AKAN DINAIKKAN…(MAAF INI ADALAH KOMITMEN KAMI

SEBAGAI RASA TERIMA KASIH KEPADA PARA CUSTOMER).
GRATIS ONGKOS KIRIM, DVD AKAN DIANTAR LANGSUNG KETEMPAT TINGGAL

ANDA.
NEXT …PENAWARAN ISTIMEWA PAKET KOLEKSI EBOOK HYPNOSIS
PAKET 2
KOLEKSI EBOOK HYPNOSIS
* Experiencing Hypnosis (Karya Milton Erickson, Bapak Hypnosis Modern)

* Hypnotherapy, an Exploratory Casebook (Milton Erickson)
* Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton Erickson Vol 1 (Karya Duo Penemu NLP,
Richard Bandler & John Grinder)
* Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton Erickson Vol 2 (Karya Duo Penemu NLP,
Richard Bandler & John Grinder)
* Hypnosis for Beginner (Dylan Morgan)
* The Art of Indirect Hypnosis (Stephen Brooks)
* Mastering Hypnosis
* How to Talk to Your Subconscious Mind (Todd Wisler)
* Clinical Hypnosis
* An Examination of Obama’s Use of Hidden Hypnosis Techniques in His Speeches
* Hypnotic Writing, How to Hypnotize Anyone with Words (Joe Vitale)
* Psyco-Cybernetic
Dan tentu saja Bonus-Bonus Hebat nya…
· Wink & Grow Rich (Buku Terlaris di Asia tenggara, karya Roger Hamilton)
· Secret of Self made Millionaire (Karya seseorang yang sudah jadi Milyuner di usia 26 tahun,
Adam Khoo)
· Million Dollar Interview (Adam Khoo)

· Beyond Positive Thinking (DR. Robert Anthony)
· 30 Days to a more Powerful Memory
· Survival Guide for Working with Human
· Anger Management for Dummies
· Personal Development for Dummies
· 11 seri Ebook “Sleep Learning” (Optimalisasi Pikiran sambil Tidur)
· Software “Brain Wave Generator” yang akan memancarkan gelombang keotak anda untuk
menciptakan kondisi dari mulai konsentrasi hingga relaksasi.
BONUS TERBARU:
* Video Belajar Langsung Dasar Dasar Hipnotis (dengan Teks berbahasa Indonesia berdurasi 90
menit)
* Kumpulan klip Rapid Induction/ Teknik masuk kondisi hipnotis dengan cepat
* SHARM (Self-Hypnosis And Relaxation Machine)Software (Software Hypnosis untk para
therapist/ praktisi untuk keperluan therapy dan pengembangan diri yang bisa diatur sesuai
keinginan Anda.
* Video Klip Milton Erickson Live Hypnosis
* Audio MP3 (dalam Bahasa Inggris)mengenai Conversational Hypnosis
* 400 Halaman Ebook Training Manual Clinical Hypnosis, Official Training Curriculum of The
American School of Hypnosis
UNTUK 10 PEMESAN PERTAMA, EBOOK EBOOK HEBAT ITU SAYA HARGAI…

HANYA
Rp. 50.000,-
SETELAH ITU, HARGA AKAN DINAIKKAN…(MAAF INI ADALAH KOMITMEN KAMI

SEBAGAI RASA TERIMA KASIH KEPADA PARA CUSTOMER).
GRATIS ONGKOS KIRIM, DVD AKAN DIANTAR LANGSUNG KETEMPAT TINGGAL

ANDA.
NOTE: SEMUA EBOOK DALAM BAHASA INGGRIS DAN DIKEMAS DALAM SATU
DVD
PAKET HEMAT BGT…

Bila anda memesan sekaligus 2 PAKET HANYA Rp. 75.000 saja….
Khusus Pemesanan langsung 2 paket, berhadiah langsung
KOLEKSI EBOOK KESEHATAN & DIET:
* You On Diet (Mehmet Oz, Dokter yang sering muncul di Oprah Winfrey)
* You On Manual (Mehmet Oz)
* Food That Burn Fat (Makanan makanan yang membakar lemak)
* Fast Food Diet (Bagaimana Diet dengan mengkonsumsi Fast Food)
* How to Sleep Less & Get More Energy
* Dan beberapa Ebook tentang Rahasia Diet & Pembentukan Tubuh yang Ideal
KOLEKSI EBOOK CARA BELAJAR CEPAT & PENINGKATAN KECERDASAN
* Accelerated Learning
* The Complete Books of Intellegence Test, 500 Exercise to Improve, Upgrade & Enhance Your
Mind Strength.
* How to Become a Genius
* How to Develop A Super Power Memory
* Brain Game
Paket Ebook Marketing & Business yang terdiri dari:
EBOOK MARKETING LANGKA !!!
Belum diterjemahkan ke dalam bahasa Indonesia...
Ebook Marketing & Bisnis Langka:

Paket Koleksi Marketing:
• Blair Warren - The Forbidden Keys to Persuasion Lesson Manual
Sebuah Panduan Bahasa “Terlarang” untuk merayu calon konsumen Anda
• Breakthrough_Advertising
Kumpulan Iklan Iklan yang termasuk “Terobosan” Baru dari zaman ke zaman
• HowtoMarketYourBusiness
Sebuah panduan untuk memasarkan Bisnis Anda
• Marketing to the Campus Crowd

Panduan pemasaran di lingkungan Kampus
• Marketing with New Media

Panduan pemasaran di era web 2.0
• Marketing_Retro_Revolution
Konsep Marketing Unik & Jadul sebagai alternative selain konsep Marketing modern
• Marketing_Revolution
Revolusi Marketing versi barat
• Marketing_Strategy_Guide
Startegi langkah demi langkah dalam Marketing
• Post Card Marketing

Strategi Marketing melalui Kartu Pos
• Steal
Startegi Marketing dengan “mencuri” Pelanggan saingan Anda
• Marketing on tight Budget

Bagaimana melakukan Marketing dengan Budget yang kecil
Video Marketing:
*Video Klip Tips Marketing dari Phillip Kottler, Jay Abraham, Brad Sugars, Seth Godin, Joe
Vitale.
Cara Pemesanan:
1. Transfer sebesar biaya Paket (Paket 1 atau Paket 2 masing masing = Rp. 50.000, Paket
Hemat (Paket 1 + Paket 2)= Rp 75.000- (Daerah Bandung & JABODETABEK Gratis Biaya
2. Setelah Transfer sebesar Paket yang Anda Inginkan, SMS Paket yang diinginkan beserta
Nama & Alamat Anda ke no 081395035145
Terima Kasih…

Charisma

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Charisma

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1 of 51 Unearthing Your Natural Charisma

“The Natural Charisma

Unearthing Your Natural Charisma:

Put the Big Rocks First!

NLP is a school of thought that says you have the power

None of the current NLP developers have

Its tireless creativity makes NLP a fountain of useful

Make sure you're ready to take action. The key to changing

you will succeed. You could do anything—give a speech in

So if you think you can succeed just by reading these

If you're not sure you want to dedicate yourself to creating

A university professor walked into a lecture hall at the

another of the rocks into the jar.

The professor then pulled a coffee can full of pebbles out

"How about now?" the professor asked, gesturing to the

It certainly looked full. The class nodded in agreement

Next, the professor smiled and pulled a gallon freezer bag

"Now it must be really full, right?" he asked the class. A

And in fact, the professor then proceeded to pull a large

"Think of the most important things in your life as big

(Adapted from a story found at <http://www.fmbv.nu/mayonnaise-and-beer>.)

Now, this is a useful way to think of becoming a more

"Will NLP Work for Me?"

Now you may be asking yourself, "What if some people just

the question: if we presuppose that anyone can be an

Because of this proposition's immense usefulness, NLP

NLP is right for you if you want to create beneficial changes

Of course, there is always room for improvement, and no

Now, let's look at some of NLP's principles, and some

HOW TO CHARM PEOPLE

It stands to reason that one of the most attractive, likable

One presumption that is consistent throughout NLP is that

The following methods can actually help you be liked.

Matching Body Language and Pace

One of the simplest ways to increase your conversational

Caution: matching is not the same as mimicry! Be careful

person's every action.

Below is a list of physical and auditory matching methods.

1. Pay attention to the conversational pace of the person

2. Match your conversational partner's body language.

3. Match your conversational partner in volume. When

4. Match your conversational partner in tone. This is

In a business meeting, do not be too emotional or personal

5. Match eye contact. This requires gauging another

ease around you. Charisma is largely based on people

You may worry that matching is deceptive or manipulative.

As a final word, an important part of paying close attention

So far we've talked about matching your partner's pace,

To help keep all these matching techniques straight, here's

SAM: (Approaches Alex's table. Notices Alex's head bobbing

SAM: (Friendly, easy gaze. Shoulders back, hands not

ALEX: (Returning Sam's smile.) No, go ahead. (Makes very

SAM: (Not wanting to stare, reads a few sentences from a

ALEX: (Senses the motion of Sam's foot tapping.) This is a

ALEX: Oh? Where did you go to school?

Once Alex picked up the pace of the conversation just a

VAL: Hi. I don't have time. (Is obviously in a hurry, and

SAM: Can I just say, you've obviously had a lot of errands to

VAL: (Perks up a bit, but still irritated.) Well, thank you.

SAM: I know you're heading home and you'll be happy to get

SAM: Tell me, you don't have an opinion on measure 38, do

VAL: Actually, I do…

In this case, Sam noticed Val was moving at a hurried pace