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INBR 1934/06
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É AN OFFICER AND A GENTLEMAN
É MILITARY COURTESIES
É DRESS ETIQUETTE
É MESS ETIQUETTE AND CUSTOMS
É SOCIAL FUNCTIONS
É THE FEMALE OFFICER
É MATRIMONY
É EVERYDAY GOOD MANNERS

16 April, 2010 |

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É Commissioning
± The grant of commission confers the status of an
officer, but you got to work hard at becoming a
gentleman.
É Etiquette
± They are formal rules of correct and polite
behaviour in society.
± The society expects a different behaviour from the
uniformed personnel and we have a duty to live up
to the expectations.

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É Courtesy
± Do unto others as you would have them do unto
you.
± Be nice to the people on your way up, you will
meet them again on the way down.
± Adherence to this advice will kill the need for the
uncomfortable switch to contrived humility and
bonhomie, the day after you have been dined out.

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É Consideration
± For others property and feelings
É Especially a house

É Language
± Slang and swear words do not find favor
± Caution in the presence of ladies, seniors
and subordinates

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É Moral obligation
± An officer¶s word or signature is a bond-do keep in
mind while endorsing a document
± Honesty- ³I am honest because I have no reason
to be otherwise.´
± Truthfulness and precision- ³I do not know sir, I
shall find out and apprise you´ is better than
misinformation, evasive and impulsive reply.

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É Moral obligation
± Paying up-you cannot use your service
status to evade financial obligations. Do
pay bills in advance if you are going to be
out of station when the bill becomes due.
± Lending and borrowing-always frowned
upon in services. Do remember to return
what you borrow in time and in pristine
condition.

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É Good grooming
± First impressions are important
± Neat haircut
± Close shave
± Trimmed fingernails
± Subtle aftershave or cologne
É A good naval officer is one who reinforces his
personality without becoming a victim to the
means themselves.

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É Special customary acts and
ceremonials which are required and
exchanged between members of the
armed forces.
É They should be distinctive and precise-
not slovenly, grudgingly or perfunctorily

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É Salute
± Always acknowledge a salute
± When two or more officers, only the senior most
will acknowledge. In case of a common senior
passing both will salute
± In a group only the platoon commander salutes
± SLT, LT CDR, conversing, LT joins in. SLT does
not salute the LT. The LT salutes the LT CDR, the
SLT courteously nod to the LT.

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É Salute
± Enter an office, do not salute unless it is a
formality.
± Salutes not exchanged in public
conveyances.
± Timing of the salute is important. The
officer being saluted should have the time
and space to return the salute.

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É Salute
± While marching on a road, keep the right hand
free for exchanging salutes.
± It is courtesy to salute a lady. The onus of
recognising a lady is that of the officer and an
officer never forgets a lady once she is introduced
to him.
± When sitting in a senior¶s office and an officer
senior to you but junior to the occupant of the
office enters, just acknowledge, do not jump up.

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É Headgear
± To be worn whenever in uniform and not in
a room.
± Not to be worn in any office unless being
marched up.
± To be worn while traveling in vehicles
unless directed by the senior most
± Do not tuck beret into the waistband.

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É Correspondence
± One is to be punctilious with personal
correspondence
± Dear CNS, Dear Admiral, Dear FOMA is correct,
my dear Chief is not.
± DO letters end with ³yours faithfully´ or ³yours
sincerely´.
± Do not use ³my dear captain sir´ and end with ³I
remain sir´

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É Correspondence
± Green ink for the senior most Flag Officer
in station, other Flag Officers use blue,
black or red.
± CNS uses red. Heads of organisations
traditionally use red.
± All others to use blue only.

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É Addressing
± Lt General and Major General is General,
Vice Admiral and Rear Admiral is Admiral
± Lt Col is Colonel, a Lt Cdr is nor
Commander.
± Do not use nicknames for senior officers.
Vice Admiral Bharathan is Barry only for
his seniors and peers, not for you.

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É Addressing
± Senior officers not to be addressed in third
person
± There is no XO sir, CO sir, Sunil sir. Only
the rank and name
± Ladies to be addressed as Mrs Singh and
not as Maam. Do not call ladies by their
first names.

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É Addressing
± While referring to the husband- can I speak
to the Cmde, is he at home? Rather than
can I speak to sir, is sir at home?
± It is Mrs Pisharody and not Mrs CO.
± Limit the use of Jai Hind as a replacement
for all greetings.

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É Boats, cars, lifts and aircrafts
± Boat or aircraft-junior officer embarks first
and disembarks last.
± Car or lift-senior officer enters first, junior
follows.
± In cars senior officer to the left, junior
behind the driver. In case of three in the
back the junior most sits in the middle.

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É Calls and calling
± Official-by all officers on their superiors at the first
opportunity.
± Social-made along with lady, with prior
appointment, no gift, a small bouquet will do.
± It is primarily the wife on whom one calls.
± Social calls are to be returned within two weeks.
± Calls normally between 1900-2000. If not insisted
upon for dinner leave by 2000 hrs.

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É Calls and calling
± Do not jump to depart if another callers
comes in.
± Calls of condolence to be brief.

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É Senior officer¶s directions
± A senior officer saying ³ I like´ or ³I desire´ is an
order for you.
± If there is any delay apprise him, so that he may
allow more time or modify the directives. Do not
keep him hanging.
É Helping Hands-It is servile to carry suitcase,
pour tea etc. it is the job of a steward.
Nominate one.

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É Informality
± The extent of informality should be dictated by the
senior. Off duty informality should not extend into
the next working day.
É Visitors book-need not wait till the end,
especially after a couple of cocktails
É Photography- the photographer should be
properly briefed so that the senior officer
does not have to re-enact the presentation
ceremony.

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É Always dress up smartly
É Incorrect ironing of trouser pleats and
two vertical folds visible when folded
shirts are worn are common mistakes.
É Select clothes that can be worn without
a feeling of self consciousness.

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É One should possess all uniforms
É No ornament except a wedding band, one
kara in case of Sikhs. No thatha in public for
Sikhs.
É Do not sling bags over the stripes.
É No uniforms in restaurants, public places, no
half measures like a jacket over white
trousers.

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É Shirt pockets are to be empty. Mobiles
in hand over trouser. For God¶s sake
not in pouches attached to the uniform.
É All buttons,badges etc to be shining and
clean.
É Polished shoes and clean good elastic
socks without any design on them.

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É The uniform cap is a µPeaked Cap¶ not
peak cap. The portion covering the eyes
is the visor and not the peak.
É A sea cap is to be used afloat only, not
a substitute for a beret or a peaked cap.
É Treat a cap with the same courtesy you
would extend to yourself.

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É The Officer¶s Mess
± It is an institution with customs and
etiquettes observed for fostering pride in
the service.
± Single officers are not to equate the mess
with the home of the married officers

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É Mess Night
± Guest night-specific guests are invited
± Ladies night-ladies are also present
± Look at the seating plan and meet the guests or
ladies who are to sit adjacent to you and escort
them to their seats.
± On entering the dining hall stand formally behind
your chairs till the senior officer present enters and
seats himself.

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É Mess Night
± Officers commence eating only after everyone
else has been served. Water wine and other
drinks are passed clockwise.
± Take cues about commencing and stopping to eat
from the President.
± Bread when served should be kept on the table
and not the side plate.

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É Mess Night-drinking toasts
± Toast to the President is drunk standing, all others
seated.
± Once the decanter is placed in front of the PMC,
he removes the stopper and passes the decanter
to the left without lifting it off the table.
± Once all the glasses have been filled, the stopper
is placed back on the decanter by the PMC.
± The PMC taps the table thrice with the mallet and
stands up lifting the glass to chest level.

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É Mess Night-drinking toasts
± All other officers are to continue sitting.
± The PMC says µMr Vice-The President¶ and lowers
the glass to the waist level.
± Upon this all stand and hold the glasses at waist
level. The band plays the national anthem. When
the band has finished playing the Vice President
says µgentlemen the President¶ or µladies and
gentlemen- the President¶
± All present raise their glasses and repeat- µthe
President¶ and drink the toast.

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É A few tips on wardroom etiquette
± Dress suitably on all occasions.
± Show respect to seniors without being servile.
± Make visitors to the mess comfortable.
± Pets are forbidden.
± A guest is never invited to dine without seeking
the PMC¶s permission.
± Treat stewards and cooks with courtesy.

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É A few tips on table manners
± Take your seat with minimum clatter.
± Do not tuck in the napkins. Do not wipe your face ,
hands, crockery with it.
± Do not rest elbows on the table.
± Food is brought to the mouth and not vice versa.
± A used piece of cutlery is not put into any dish that
is meant for everyone.
± Do not eat with your mouth open, nothing is more
disgusting.

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É A few tips on table manners
± Slip the spoon away from you while
drinking soup.
± If you find a foreign object, leave the food
without much fuss.

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É Invitations
± Formal invitation is an implicit order to attend
± Informal invitation is extended after ascertaining
availability and prior notice, in either case it is an
order for the subordinate from the superior.
± Invitations should be acknowledged promptly to
enable the host to make necessary arrangements.
± When inviting a Flag Officer to an official function it
is customary to extend the invitation to his Flag Lt
also.

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É Invitations
± The decorations of the invitee are not inserted on
the invitation card but indicated only on the
envelope, which is always addressed to the officer
concerned, even though his spouse may also be
invited.
± The invitation must have the date, time and venue
of the function, the dress and details of the
function itself and the appointment and telephone
number of the officer who is coordinating the
arrangements.

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É Invitations
± RSVP-French- µRespondez S¶il Vous Plait¶
indicate that an answer is required. RSVP-
Regrets only means that the invitee needs
to confirm only if he is not going to attend.
± In formal functions, children do not find a
place. In informal functions the invitation
should specify if the guests could get their
children along or not.

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É Introductions
± The purpose of a correct introduction is to
create an immediate friendliness among
people who have met for the first time.
± Correct form on most occasions is ³Mrs
Joshi, may I introduce Lt Arvind to you.
Like you he is also from Wakarewarewa.

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É Introductions
± Precedence of introductions
É Gentlemen to a lady
É Unmarried lady to a married lady, unless her official
position is higher than the husband of the married.
É Younger man to older
É Junior to senior
É Bachelors to married men

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É Introductions
± Customary to say ³How do you do?´
± Correct reply is ³How do you do?´ and not
³I am fine thank you.´

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É Drinking
± There is no custom that an officer must be
a heavy drinker
± Drink in moderation, else you become the
laughing stock of gatherings
± Do not ask for a second drink. Accept only
if the host offers.

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É Smoking
± Improper
É While saluting or returning a salute
É While driving, walking or marching
É While in presence of ladies
É In air conditioned spaces.
± Carrying cigarette packet and matchbox in front
pocket and trouser pocket is not done. Do it in the
briefcase.

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É Interaction with sailors
± What is the acceptable level of informal familiarity
which an officer can maintain with his sailors.
± Can a serving sailor who is the father of a
commissioned officer be invited to the wardroom?
± The key word is serving. The privilege of dining in
the wardroom is extendable to the guest if he is
not serving in the armed forces in a subordinate
position.

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É Interaction with sailors
± What about inviting sailors to one¶s
residence and accepting or rejecting a
reciprocal invitation.
± See that the ethos of the officer core is not
tarnished.

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É Induction of women as officers is a simple
acknowledgement of their constitutional
rights.
É Etiquettes by and towards lady officers are to
be in conformation with their rank and status.
É In an uniformed service the gender of an
individual does not make a difference.

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É While military courtesies and uniform
regulations are the similar for both
certain concessions are made to ensure
that the distinctive identity of the lady is
not lost
É Hairstyle-neatly groomed and does
extend below the upper edge of the shirt
collar.

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É Jewellery and accessories-not to be visible
through uniform. Only one wedding ring, one
bangle on the left wrist, small studs in the
ears and a small nose pin may be worn.
É Make up-conservatively, no false eyelashes,
heavy eyeliner, eye shadow,colored nail
polish and excessive facial make up. Only
transparent lipstick to be worn.

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É Dresses for social functions
± Formal-sarees/formal western dress/salwar
suits.
± Informal-same as formal
± Casual-any sober dress
± Do not dress provocatively
± Ensure body language is not open to
misinterpretation.

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É Marriage is a lifetime partnership.
É Do not rush into it. Officers are not permitted
to marry when they are under training and are
not entitled to accommodation below the age
of 25.
É Even though it is a partnership the official
service business is the service person¶s
concern. ³When we were in command is not
appropriate.´

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É It is essential to brief ones spouse about
service customs and etiquettes. The
spouse could be from a civilian
background or even a service
background.
É Discussing official matters with the
spouse is dangerous and has the
potential to create havoc.

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É A lady always introduces herself as ³I
am Mrs Singh, my husband is Cdr S
Singh, DD of CLABS´ and not ³ I am
Mrs Cdr S Singh.´
É Sailors and their wives must be treated
with the same courtesy as expected of
them.

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É Care must be taken choose appropriate
attire for various occasions. Short skirts,
T-shirts and jeans are still frowned
upon.
É The lady must accompany her husband
when calling on. This is a formal
occasion and children do not
accompany.

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É Young ladies need not address senior
officers as Sir. They may use just the
rank or the rank followed by the name.
Eg Admiral Sushil or Admiral.
É They should address senior ladies as
Mrs Pisharody, not Mrs CO, not Mrs
Cmde Pisharody, not Maam or Didi.

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É Rising for elders-whilst a lady is not
obliged to rise it would be in great taste
to respect elders.
É While the lady does not have the
responsibilities of her husband¶s
commission it is unethical to demand
privileges of his rank.

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É Children in wardroom- the mess has its
own sanctity, children ought to be kept
under control and not allowed to scream
and treat the place like a playground.
É Hosting a party-draw up the guest list in
advance. See that no one is out of
place. A cocktail party should normally
last about an hour and a half.

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É Drinking and dining-ascertain culinary
preference in advance.if it is a sit down dinner
keep a space between ladies so that men can
join in and the conversation is a mix between
shop and shopping.
É The service officer is the soul of hospitality
and an unexpected guest is is hardly
uncommon. The lady of the house must not
be alarmed or upset. The guest does not
expect a fancy meal. A welcome attitude is
more important than the actual number of
dishes on the table.
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É The wife has as much responsibility as the
officer to uphold the dignity of the country and
the service.
É When the officer hangs up his boots it is the
relationships that one nourishes which bail
you out of loneliness. The young wife who
was helped or the young officer who was
hosted for dinner on many a rainy day would
all come back and make the lady feel at
home.

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É The wife has as much responsibility as the
officer to uphold the dignity of the country and
the service.
É When the officer hangs up his boots it is the
relationships that one nourishes which bail
you out of loneliness. The young wife who
was helped or the young officer who was
hosted for dinner on many a rainy day would
all come back and make the lady feel at
home.

16 April, 2010 |

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É Time Management
± Being punctual is a habit to be acquired early in
life.
± Being busy is not an acceptable excuse.
± Always be on time for all official functions and
arrive before the senior officers and other VIPs.
± It is impolite to be more than 10 mins late for a
personal party, it is also impolite to be ahead of
time as you might catch the guest unprepared.

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É Time Management
± When you are late apologise to the host and
hostess and take your place.
É Departure
± Never depart before senior officers, whether at
formal or informal occassions
± Stay for an hour when calling on a senior officer
± Avoid dawdling at the host¶s doorstep when it is
time to leave, just leave.

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É Handshake
± Senior always makes the first move.
Always take a proffered hand, do not
proffer if your hands are dirty.
± Let the lady make the first move to shake.
She shakes your hand and not vice versa.
Do not hold for more than required. Do not
pump her hand.

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É Order of precedence
± From a car the officer alights first and holds
the door for the lady. From a bus , boat,
train or aircraft the lady alights first.
± At a ship¶s gangway the lady precedes. In
social functions lady precedes except
formal receptions where title takes
precedence.

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É Telephone manners
± Be courteous while answering calls, don¶t
just say µHello¶, say good morning, Lt Sam
speaking.
± The junior always come on line first. Hang
up only after the senior has hung up
± Don¶t call up and say µguess who¶s is
calling.

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