205BestComebacksAndFunnyInsultsThatWillMake

YouLaugh
byDecember10,2014
Laughatourhugecollectionofbestcomebacksandfunnyinsults.Wedidourbesttobringyou
onlythefunniestinsultsandbestcomebacks.Youwilldefinitelylaugh.
1.Rosesarered,violetsareblue,Ihave5fingers,the3rdonesforyou.
2.IwasntbornwithenoughmiddlefingerstoletyouknowhowIfeelaboutyou.
3.IfIwantedtokillmyselfIdclimbyouregoandjumptoyourIQ.
Checkoutreallyfunnylaffytaffyjokeswefoundforyou
4.Isyourassjealousoftheamountofshitthatjustcameoutofyourmouth?
5.Youbringeveryonealotofjoy,whenyouleavetheroom.
6.Imjealousofallthepeoplethathaventmetyou!
Checkoutreallyfunnytruckerjokesthatwillmakeyoulaugh
7.Icouldeatabowlofalphabetsoupandshitoutasmarterstatementthanthat.
8.Idontexactlyhateyou,butifyouwereonfireandIhadwater,Iddrinkit.
9.Youmusthavebeenbornonahighwaybecausethatswheremostaccidentshappen.
Sharethesebestcomebackswithyourfriends
10.IwasprolifebeforeImetyou.
11.Areyourparentssiblings?
12.Imblonde,whatsyourexcuse?
13.Youbetterhopeyoumarryrich.
14.Youstareatfrozenjuicecansbecausetheysay,concentrate.
CheckoutthisawesomecollectionoffunnyacronymsfromallovertheWeb
15.Shockme,saysomethingintelligent.
16.Youhavetheperfectfaceforradio.
17.Twoleggedstoolsample.
18.Damnnotyouagain.
19.Nicetan,orangeismyfavoritecolor.
20.Ihadanightmare.IdreamedIwasyou.
Sharethesefunnyinsultsonsocialmedia
21.Yourmommusthaveareallyloudbark!
22.Everyonewhoeverlovedyouwaswrong.
23.Youonlyannoymewhenyourebreathing.

24.Youresouglyyoumakeblindkidscry.
Checkoutourselectionoffunnyblogsaboutlife
25.Youresofatyourshadowcastsashadow.
26.Dontyouneedalicensetobethatugly?
27.Youactlikeyourarroganceisavirtue.
28.Niceshirt,whatbrandisit?Clearance?
Laughatreallyfunnywaiterjokeswefoundforyou
29.Youhaveenoughfattomakeanotherhuman.
30.Youdontknowme,youjustwishyoudid.
31.PeoplelikeyouarethereasonIworkout.
32.Iamnotantisocial.Ijustdontlikeyou.
33.Beautyisskindeep,butuglyistothebone
34.Didyoueatpaintchipswhenyouwereakid?
35.Itstoobadstupidityisntpainful.
36.Onemorewrinkleandyoudpassforaprune.
37.Youresodumb,yourdogteachesyoutricks.
38.Beautyisskindeep,butuglyistothebone.
39.Yourambitionoutweighsyourrelevantskills.

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40.Wow,youlookedalothotterfromadistance!
41.YouareproofthatGodhasasenseofhumor.
42.Yourethereasontheyinventeddoubledoors!
43.Ifyouhadanotherbrain,itwouldbelonely.

44.IfIwantedtohearfromanasshole,Idfart.
45.Comeagainwhenyoucantstayquitesolong.
46.Imaybefat,butyoureugly,andIcandiet!!!
47.Imnotmean.Yourejustasissy.
48.Youlooklikeabeforepicture.
49.Yougrowonpeople,likeawart!
50.Ifarttomakeyousmellbetter.
51.Yeahyourepretty,prettystupid.
52.Holdon,Illgofindyouatampon.
53.Yourestupidbecauseyoureblonde.
54.100,000sperm,youwerethefastest?
55.Earthisfull.Gohome.
56.Youpreferthreeleftturnstoonerightturn.
57.YouareproofthatevolutionCANgoinreverse.
58.Youaresoold,yourbirthcertificateexpired.
59.Youconservetoiletpaperbyusingbothsides.
60.Asharptongueisnoindicationofakeenmind.
61.IsyournameMapleSyrup?Itshouldbe,yousap.
62.YouresouglyHelloKittysaidgoodbyetoyou.
63.Youreasusefulasanashtrayonamotorcycle.
64.AmIgettingsmartwithyou?Howwouldyouknow?
65.Pleasetellmeyoudonthomeschoolyourkids.
66.Ordinarilypeopleliveandlearn.Youjustlive.
67.PeoplelikeyouarethereasonImonmedication.
68.Ithoughtofyoualldaytoday.Iwasatthezoo.
69.Youcouldnthitwaterifyoufelloutofaboat.
70.Youaredeprivingsomepoorvillageofitsidiot.
71.Youreasuselessasascreendooronasubmarine.
72.Areyoualwaysanidiot,orjustwhenImaround?

BestComebacksReallyFunnyVideo
73.Yourbrainmustbemadeoutofrockinghorseshit.
74.Youresostupidyoutriedtowakeasleepingbag.
75.YouresofatyouneedcheatcodestoplayWiiFit.
76.Isthatyourface?Ordidyourneckjustthrowup?
77.Youresofat,yourdoublechinhasadoublechin.
78.Yourdadscondomisabiggerthanyourpersonality.
79.Didyourparentseveraskyoutorunawayfromhome?
80.Iheartheonlyplaceyoureeverinvitedisoutside.
81.Youaresostupid,youdtripoveracordlessphone.
82.CancelmysubscriptionsImtiredofyourissues.

83.Idliketohelpyouout.Whichwaydidyoucomein?
84.Doyoustilllovenature,despitewhatitdidtoyou?
85.Lookslikeyoutradedinyourneckforanextrachin!
86.Imaybefat,butyoureugly,andIcanloseweight.
87.Learnfromyourparentsmistakesusebirthcontrol!
88.Keeptalking,somedayyoullsaysomethingintelligent!
89.Ifassholescouldfly,thisplacewouldbeanairport!
90.Youresougly,youscaredthecrapoutofthetoilet.
91.Iveseenpeoplelikeyou,butIhadtopayadmission!
92.Yourheadissobigyouhavetostepintoyourshirts.
93.SorryIcantthinkofaninsultstupidenoughforyou.
94.Youaresoold,evenyourmemoryisinblackandwhite.
95.Youresofatapictureofyouwouldfalloffthewall!
96.Evenifyouweretwiceassmart,youdstillbestupid!
97.Mirrorsdonttalkbutluckyforyou%ntheydontlaugh
98.Brainsarenteverything.Inyourcasetheyrenothing.
99.Youfearsuccess,butreallyhavenothingtoworryabout.
100.Youresougly,theonlydatesyougetareonacalendar.
101.Iheardyourparentstookyoutoadogshowandyouwon.
102.Youdorealizemakeupisntgoingtofixyourstupidity?
103.Icalledyourboyfriendgayandhehitmewithhispurse!
104.Youresougly,youhadtintedwindowsonyourincubator.
105.Yougetasmuchactionasaninebuttononamicrowave.
106.Youresouglyyouhavetotrickortreatoverthephone.
107.IfIwantedtotalktoyou,Iwouldhavecalledyoufirst.
108.Thesoundofyoururinehittingtheurinalsoundsfeminine
109.Youmustthinkyourestrong,butyouonlysmellstrong.
110.Youresofat,youhavetouseamattressasamaxipad.
111.Youknowthedrill!Youleaveamessage.andIignoreit!
112.Weallsprangfromapes,butyoudidntspringfarenough.
113.Ifyourbrainexploded,itwouldntevenmessupyourhair.
114.Whydontyougooutsideanyplay,hideandgof**kyourself
115.Whatareyoudoinghere?Didsomeoneleaveyourcageopen?
116.Ifacrackheadsawyou,hedthinkheneedstogoonadiet.
117.Soyouvechangedyourmind,doesthisoneworkanybetter?
118.Idontknowwhatmakesyousostupid,butitreallyworks!
119.Looksarenteverythinginyourcase,theyarentanything.
120.Ifwhatyoudontknowcanthurtyou,youreinvulnerable.
121.Whenanorexicsseeyou,theythinktheyneedtogoonadiet.
122.Youhaveaverysympatheticface.Ithaseveryonessympathy.
123.Ifyourbrainwasmadeofchocolate,itwouldntfillanM&M.
124.Youresostupid,ittakesyouanhourtocookminuterice.

125.Dontfeelsad,dontfeelblue,Frankensteinwasuglytoo.
126.Thebestpartofyouisstillrunningdownyouroldmansleg.
127.Youshouldntplayhideandseek,noonewouldlookforyou.
128.OhmyGod,lookatyou.Wasanyoneelsehurtintheaccident?
129.Yourfaceissougly,whenyoucrythetearsrunUPyourface.
130.Iheardyouwenttoahauntedhouseandtheyofferedyouajob.
131.WhydontyoucheckeBayandseeiftheyhavealifeforsale.
132.Youresougly,whenyouthrewaboomerangitdidntcomeback.
133.Everyoneisentitledtobestupid,butyouabusetheprivilege.
134.Twowrongsdontmakearight,takeyourparentsasanexample.
135.Ifignoranceisbliss,youmustbethehappiestpersononearth.
136.Ineedyou..IwantyouTogetoutofmyface
137.YouresofattheonlylettersofthealphabetyouknowareKFC.
138.RememberJESUSlovesyoubuteveryoneelsethinksyoureanidiot.
139.Hey,RememberthattimeItoldyouIthoughtyouwerecool?ILIED.
140.WhenitcomestoIQ,youlosesomeeverytimeyouusethebathroom.
141.Whenwasthelasttimeyoucouldseeyourwholebodyinthemirror?
142.Forgettheuglystick!youmusthavebeenbornintheuglyforest!
143.Ilookintoyoureyesandgetthefeelingsomeoneelseisdriving.
144.Youreapersonofrareintelligence.Itsrarewhenyoushowany.
145.Idliketokickyouintheteeth,butthatwouldbeanimprovement!
146.Illneverforgetthefirsttimewemet,althoughIllkeeptrying.
147.Dontgetinsulted,butisyourlifedevotedtospreadingignorance?
148.Dontpissmeofftoday,Imrunningoutofplacestohidetobodies
149.IfIcouldbeonepersonforaday,itsureashellwouldntbeyou.
150.Ifbrainsweredynamiteyouwouldnthaveenoughtoblowyournose.
151.Theclothesyouweararesouglyevenascarecrowwouldntwearthem.
152.EversinceIsawyouinyourfamilytree,Ivewantedtocutitdown.
153.Therearemorecaloriesinyourstomachthaninthelocalsupermarket!
154.AtleastwhenIdoahandstandmystomachdoesnthitmeintheface.
155.Dontletyourmindwander.Itswaytosmalltobeoutsidebyitself!
156.Youresofat,whenyouwearayellowraincoatpeoplescreamtaxi.
157.Ifyoureallywanttoknowaboutmistakes,youshouldaskyourparents.
158.Maybeifyouatesomeofthatmakeupyoucouldbeprettyontheinside.
159.Ivecomeacrossdecomposedbodiesthatarelessoffensivethanyouare.
160.IfIhadadollarforeverybrainyoudidnthave,Idhaveonedollar.
161.Whatareyougoingtodoforafacewhenthebaboonwantshisbuttback?
162.IheardyoutookanIQtestandtheysaidyoureresultswerenegative.
163.Yourhouseissodirtyyouhavetowipeyourfeetbeforeyougooutside.
164.Godmademountains,godmadetrees,godmadeyoubutweallmakemistakes.
165.WhatsthatuglythinggrowingoutofyourneckOhItsyourhead

166.Therearesomestupidpeopleinthisworld.Youjusthelpedmerealizeit.
167.Lookslikeyoufellofftheuglytreeandhiteverybranchonthewaydown.
168.So,athoughtcrossedyourmind?Musthavebeenalongandlonelyjourney.
169.OhImsorry,howmanytimesdidyourparentsdropyouwhenyouwereababy?
170.Youresougly,whenyougotrobbed,therobbersmadeyouweartheirmasks.
171.Justremindinguthereisaveryfinelinebetweenhobbyandmentalillness.
172.FORTHELASTTIME!Yourmotherlefthereat9thismorningLeavemealone!
173.DonthatemebecauseImbeautifulhatemebecauseyourboyfriendthinksso.
174.Ifmydoghadyourface,Iwouldshavehisbuttandmakehimwalkbackwards.
175.Yourhouseissonasty,Itrippedoverarat,andacockroachstolemywallet.
176.Iwishyounoharm,butitwouldhavebeenmuchbetterifyouhadneverlived.
177.Doyoueverwonderwhatlifewouldbelikeifyoudhadenoughoxygenatbirth?
178.Imsorry,Talkingtoyouseemsasappealingasplayingleapfrogwithunicorns.
179.Youresougly,theycallyoutheexterminator,becauseyoukillbugsonsight.
180.Youmusthaveaverylowopinionofpeopleifyouthinktheyareyourequals.
181.Rosesareredvioletsareblue,Godmademepretty,whatthehellhappentoyou?
182.Ifyoudidnthavefeetyouwouldntwearshoes..thenwhydoyouwearabra??!
183.Youdidntfalloutofthestupidtree.Youweredraggedthroughdumbassforest.
184.Yourearsaresobigwhenyoustandonamountaintheylookliketrophyhandles.
185.Howdoyoukeepanidiotinsuspense?LeaveamessageandIllgetbacktoyou
186.Itskindasadwatchingyouattempttofityourentirevocabularyintoasentence.
187.Youmaynotbethebestlookinggirlhere,butbeautyisonlyalightswitchaway!
188.Imnothererightnowsocrymeariver,buildyourselfabridge,andGETOVERIT!!!
189.HeyIamawayfrommycomputerbutinthemeantime,whydontyougoplayintraffic?!
190.Ohdear!Lookslikeyoufelloutoftheuglytreeandhiteverybranchonthewaydown!
191.Howaboutalittlelessquestionsandalittlemoreshutthehellup?Imawaylivewithit.
192.HmmIdontknowwhatyourproblemisbutImgoingtobetitsreallyhardtopronounce
193.Ilovewhatyouvedonewithyourhair.Howdoyougetittocomeoutofthenostrilslikethat?
194.Yourenotexactlybadlooking.Theresjustonelittleproblembetweenyourearsyourface!
195.Youresougly,yourmotherhadtotieasteakaroundyournecktogetthedogtoplaywithyou!
196.Yousouglywhenwhowerebornthedoctorthrewyououtthewindowandthewindowthrewyou
back!
197.UntilyoucalledmeIcouldntrememberthelasttimeIwantedsomebodysfingerstobreakso
badly.
198.Ifyouran1,000,000milestoseetheboy/girlofyourdreams,whatwouldyousaywhenyougot
there?
199.Hey,heresahint.Ifidontansweryouthefirst25times,whatmakesyouthinkthenext25will
work?
200.Ireallydontlikeyoubutifyoureallymustleaveamessage,Illbeniceandatleastpretendto
care.
201.Ifyouregonnaactlikeadickyoushouldwearacondomonyourheadsoyoucanatleastlook
likeone.

202.Whenyouwerebornyouweresouglythatinsteadofslappingyou,thedoctorslappedyourmom!
leaveamessage
203.Youoccasionallystumbleoverthetruth,butyouquicklypickyourselfupandcarryonasifnothing
happened.
204.Youmustbethearithmeticmanyouaddtrouble,subtractpleasure,divideattention,andmultiply
ignorance.
205.JustwaittillyoucantfityourhandinthePringlestubes,thenwherewillyougetyourdailynutrition
from?
206.Whyareyoubotheringme?IhavemyawaymessageoncauseIdontwanttolistentoyouand
yourstupidnonsense.
207.MyMomsaidnevertalktostrangersandwell,sinceyourereallystrange.IguessthatmeansI
canttalktoyou!
208.Itsbettertokeepyourmouthshutandgivetheimpressionthatyourestupidthantoopenitand
removealldoubt.
209.Youhaveyourwholelifetobeajerk.sowhydontyoutakeadayoffso..leavemeamessage
forwhenIgetback!!!!
210.Ihavealwayswonderedwhypeoplebangtheirheadsagainstbrickwalls..thenImetyou.Dont
botherleavingamessage.
211.RightnowImsittingherelookingatyoutryingtoseethingsfromyourpointofviewbutIcantget
myheadthatfarupmyass.
212.Poofbegone,yourbreathistoostrong,Idontwannabemean,butyouneedListerine,notasip,
notaswallow,butthewholefriggingbottle.
213.Aprettygirlcankissaguy*abirdcankissabutterfly*therisingsuncankissthegrass*butyou
myfriend!!yesyou!!YOUCANKISSMYASS*******
214.Letssee,Ivewalkedthedog,cleanedmyroom,goneshoppingandgossipedwithmyfriends
Nope,thislistdoesntsaythatImrequiredtotalktoyou.
215.TheVillagejustcalled.Theysaidtheyweremissingtheirtownidiot,Icouldntreallyunderstand
them,butIthinktheyweresayingthenamewasyours

Likedthesewittycomebacksandfunnyinsults?Thenwhynotsharethemwithyourfriends?They
wouldthankyou.