Speech: The Second Edition. Masterfully written by Myself.

Madame Chair Person, Honourable judges, worthy opponents, ladies and

gentlemen... today I... Id like to talk... Have you ever........... Look; Im nervous. My
mouth is dry, butterflies are pretty much pouring from my overflowing stomach, and
I really dont know if this deodorant is industrial enough. Man oh man am I
anxious. Its a wonder my knees havent given out already... or that my head hasnt
exploded. Public speaking makes me want to go hide in a very deep, dark hole....
But why? Why is it that I, as well as approximately 75% percent of the population,
have so much trouble giving a speech to even as few as 15 people? Why is it that
more people have the phobia of public speaking than those who fear death? Doesnt
this seem... baffling? Ludicrous? Absurd? Well today, I would like to investigate and
explain why, as Jerry Seinfeld puts it, to the average person, if you have to go to a
funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.
First, lets take a look into a situation that would cause such grief. Right now, for
instance. There are only (1_____, 2_____, 3______) people in this room. (The only
person/people I know here is/are ______________)/( I dont even really know anyone
here.) If I do well, if everything goes according to plan, then I may just get a medal
out of this. If things go terribly wrong, if my knees DID give out and my head DID
explode, then that would certainly be a problem. But in reality, the worst thing that
can happen is me sounding like a bumbling idiot to people who either know me
better or wont see me often if ever again. And thats not really too bad, is it? So
why do people have so much anxiety and nervousness?
Well, if youve ever been attacked by a bear, you know what its like to have a
case of glossophobia, the phobia of public speaking. Thats right! Its your
sympathetic nervous system at work! The sympathetic nervous system promotes
the classic fight or flight response within people who are faced either by a bear or
a crowd of anxious listeners. Once the brain picks up the fact that there is trouble,
be it a mob chasing after you or a mere case of over-illumination, it sends
messages to the brain stem telling it to get things going, if you will. Chemicals
start going all over the place, suggesting a need for sudden actions, for quick
thinking, and for an overall preparedness for either flight or fight. Or for public
speaking. Your heart starts to pound, and every noise is amplified. Your skin flushes
or pales, and your muscles loosen up, ready to go.
All of these changes are extremely helpful... for fighting for your life, or running
away from a rampaging elephant. But there is really no need to fight off Madame
chairperson, or flee from the honourable judges in a speech competition. So a new
question arises; why is it that speech creates an environment that leads to a fight or
flight response? Most commonly, the problem is the prospect of failure. If you fail, if
you wont be accepted by anyone as a good speaker. This fear becomes even worse
if you, or someone close to you, has had a bad experience with public speaking. And
thats not all! Your fear is likely to grow to enormous proportions if left unchecked.

One who avoids public speaking characteristically builds up a fear until their head
almost DOES explode. However! Just as the mind finds such stimuli endangering, it
can also be trained, if you will, to be less afraid.

Speech tournaments, like the one were in right now, are among the best
offenses against glossophobia. In having to give a speech, the mind fights against
the preconceived notion that public speaking is worth a fight or flight response.
After continually doing this, as well as learning helpful tricks and tips, one can
eventually become comfortable with speaking in front of an audience. There are
many organizations and clubs, such as Toastmasters and even the humble school
speech clubs that the competitors are a part of, that are excellent tools in helping
make anyone more comfortable in front of an audience. And this is not just a cure
for the average Joe; Toastmasters can claim credit in helping many prominent
politicians and CEOs gain the success they now have, and some speech club alumni
include Brad Pitt and Julia Roberts.
So despite the dry mouth, weak knees, and overflowing butterflies, public
speaking isnt as treacherous as it seems. With the proper tools and will power,
anyone can overcome the challenge of glossophobia. Next time you have to give a
speech, dont try to avoid it. No need for fight. No need for flight. JUST FACE IT, head
on.