I believe relationships changed when the internet and the first cell phone came about.

The communication has changed and no longer do we need to make phone calls or write
letters. In this generation we have text messaging, facetime, contact on social media. Theres
even a way that one can have a phone conversation on facebook. In my generation people take
broadcasting their relationships serious. All down my timeline i see who together, who broke up
and why it's ridiculous. there once was a time when , if you had a problem with your spouse you
address them without the world having to know. No it's not just the kids there's adult
participating in this too. which is not setting the best example. The internet has its pros and cons
which is with anything. That does not mean we let it change who we are and what we stand for.
they say what happens in my house stays in my house but that has change.
This generation is so tech savvy. We depend on technology for almost everything. Our
daily lives revolve with a phone or tablet in our hand. Then we have social media which is
constantly in our lives. We have used social media so much some of us have lost how to show
our feeling. Or even let a person know we have a problem. It's not the worst problem though,
technology has been a plus more then negative. Certain career would appreciate the good
communications skills as well. Like the nursing career, being a people person and not being
afraid to speak would benefit a lot of people. Another thing that i want to catch people's attention
too is internet dating. we have got to a point in life, where looking for a date online is normal.
what happen to going out and just meeting someone at a grocery store or when you're out for a
walk. The funny thing is it's not just the dating websites. people are meeting strangers on social
media such as facebook and instagram. Of Course they have no problem talking to anyone
online but once face to face its a awkward silence.

The first cell phone was made in 1973.(Seward) That was when the way of
communication changed. No more waiting to go home to call your friend, or even worrying about
someone listening to your conversation on the other line. 14inches tall with an antenna. It was
the latest and most exciting thing that can happen. From then on the cell phone has evolved to
something as small as six inches. Another thing that has an effect is social media. First social
media site was called six degrees. where you could make a profile, and talk to your friends.
Now we have facebook, instagram, and twitter. we can even gain access to these sites through
apps. The cell phone is no longer just for calling texting was developed and video chat. Other
ways to make communication even faster. The average family and relationship has also
changed due to this digital evolution. Now when you look everyone is either on a phone or
tablet. Kids look at these devices all day in school and home also parents as well. Technology
has had an positive and negative affect on our daily lives.
The internet plays a big role in our lives now. We are no longer sending letters, even
emails have lessen. Online dating has become a thing now too. People are so busy with their
lives and trying to get up in the world. They forget about the important things such as having a
family. that where online dating comes into play. They go look at someone profiles and it
basically gives them a little information on the person, Such as the basics, age, job occupations,
dreams and some more. you find someone who interest you and then you ask for a date.
There's no longer a chase in dating. No one is eye flirting across the room, people are flipping
through profiles nows. Also Social media is also a big thing now also. Especially instagram,

where we have people who can become instagram famous. Most of these people are people
who make funny videos or strppers. Then there's facebook where you can meet basically meet
anyone. on facebook , you will basically see anything. Everyone always sharing videos or
statuses. Then you can meet strangers and hold conversations with them . i know many people
who have developed a relationship with people on facebook. Also face to face interaction has
lessen. we now have texting, which is fast and convenient.in particular, the use of texting with
cell phones can increase intimacy by making more partners available.(schade,cuff) I feel as
though with the lessen of face to face communication it will affect us as a whole. In certain
careers we need to be able to communicate with a person and also feel comfortable doing it.
Others may feel that the evolution of technology has helped families and relationships.
Such as the use of facetime and social media to find family members. With things such as
facetime can help long distance relationships,and keep parents who travel to continue to
connect with their children.Americans spend as much time if not more with their children.
(Sinclair) Also with social media a family can stay connected. Especially if there far away from
each other. people can tag their family member in the different photos of the things they do in
their life.
Face to face communication has been enhanced with all the new technologies. It started
with letters and then evolved into the telegram. But as our world has evolved and grown so has
the way we communicate. When the first cell phone came out, i'm pretty sure shocked. No
longer waiting to go home to here from your boo. But ofcourse the first cell phone did not come
with texting so that's what the pager was for. I believe that's was when text language first began.
Then the cell phone became smaller and there was no need for a pager. There was always
something new every year or so. We had the computer so email became popular less need for
letters. A camera phone so photos could be taken anywhere. The technology we have today has
only gotten better. We have phones,computers and personal tablets that can do almost
anything. It has only improved our communication. We can now text whenever and video chat
family members or spouses that are far away. We have social media which keeps family in
touch. Being able to post pictures and statues about daily activities. Another thing that has
become popular is internet dating. Some people have became too busy or even to shy for
meeting someone out. The internet allows to be yourself or to be honest anyone you want too.
In this generation today we depend on the internet for everything. Everywhere you turn mostly
it's an electronic device in someone's hand. Technology has not just become popular in our
personal lives but also our work lives. We use video chat in team meetings and when texting we
can use group chat so everyone knows the plans. What i love especially is how video chat has
become popular in the military. I know me personally growing up with a father in the military it
was pretty tough not seeing him for half the year or more. Of Course i could phone calls here
and there, my siblings and i would send him letters and pictures. I can imagine how better it
could be with being able to video chat and see there face. I remember a story my father told
about when i was around one or two years old, he was of course out to see for a very long time
and by the time he got back i had no idea who he was. We talked on the phone but i'm pretty
sure i couldn't match the voice with face. Of Course he was hurt but what could do. I wonder if
that would have happen if we had video chat back then. Im sure it brings a better bond for
children and also couples. Video chat has been a plus for when kids like me go to college.
Being able to connect with your parents and friends that stayed home. I pretty sure it bring s the
parents a piece of comfort especially if the child is far away.This new technology has helped our
world in so many good ways.

Some may feel that technology has been hurting us instead of helping. I know some
people feel that technology has withheld us. I say this because i've heard people say we as
people have become too dependent on technology. People may say oh when i walk around
everyone is enamored with their phones. When you're out in a restaurant you may see a mom
on her phone and a child on an ipad to keep quiet. Children at the tender age of two or three
can play videos and upload a game with no problem. Then there's children on social media who
are just exposing themselves in the wrong way. Some may feel that we expose to much of our
lives on social media.Letting people know our every move. Thens there the cons to internet
dating. People you are communicating with, could be stalker,rapist or murderer. You would
never know because people can put on a good act. Then there's the so call catfish. Perceiving
yourself to be someone who you are not. People pour out their feelings and dreams with
someone who is hiding their identity. Some people have relationship problems because of social
media. Someone comments on your picture or you're entertaining someone you shouldn't. I've
seen many people block their spouse on social media just so they can do dirt. Then we have
those people who broadcast their relationship or personal problems all over social media. One
minute everyone is lovey dovey and the next it's haywire. Some may also feel that technology
has lessen our face to face communication. So many people are meeting on the internet and
using cell phone as their main way for communication. People may feel when others are on
these dating website picking out their types they may be exceeding their limit. What i mean by
that is their looking for someone who could be all wrong for them. The dating siting is only
gonna compare you with someone that they think is your interest. While if your were meeting
someone while your just out that list doesn't matter as much. You're not on a wild search for a
partner. Some may feel you lose the chase and whimsical when it comes to dating.

Peer Review: Documented Essay

Writer: _Lakeyah Cantey__________________________________________
Reviewers: _Brianna McCray Antoinette Wade Jasmine
Jones__________________________________________
Peer Review Directions: In order to review a paper, you must first read through the
paper once just to understand the topic and what the writer has to say about the topic.
After you have read through it once, you are ready to begin answering the following
questions.
Companion Piece Analysis
Start by reading the authors companion piece. How has the author . . .
No companion post write
. . . explained how the argument demonstrates genre-specific components: debate
summary, supported opinion statement, refutation in stasis, etc.?
. . . raised questions about what in the argument may or may not be working well?
What other key points does the authors companion piece raise? In other words, what
does the writer want from you as a reviewer?
Does the companion piece help you as a peer reviewer? If so, what works well? If not,
how could be companion piece be more helpful for you as a reviewer?
Introduction

After reading the first paragraphs, what would you say is the thesis of this essay? The
impact on technology dealing with cellular phones, social media, and dating sites has
changed so much that we as people start to lose the true meaning of what it means to
have an emotional attachment to physical human beings rather than digital screens. The
internet has become a way for people to broadcast things that were once private, and its
making people forget who they really are. (Jasmine)In the first paragraph she explains
how social media has changed the way people communicate in relationships.
Has the writer hooked you in her/his introduction? How? No because the very first
sentence in the essay was dull and did not grab my attention. It was grammatical errors
and sentence fragments that did not flow. Yes and no. Yes, because I understand what is
trying to be said. No, because it was so vague that I was not able to understand where it
was going. (Jasmine )Yes, I agree with the example used comparing how spouses
address each other. I think that her introduction set up the argument nicely, it just need
a better hook. It was good overall.
Do you think the hook strategy works for the writer, or could the introduction be more
interesting? If you think it could be improved, how might the introduction better
engage readers? The introduction could be more interested, I myself would have liked it
better if she started with the the first cellphone was invented in 1973 sentence as an
attention grabber. I felt like that sentence would set a great tone in showing the
evolution of the cell phone. It could have been more interesting if the hook went more in
depth. (Jasmine)Not really, i think there needs to be an attention- getting device, such
as a statistic used.
Body Paragraphs
Can you identify a clear purpose/topic in all body paragraphs? Does each paragraph
have its own point (one topic)? If so, write a brief outline of the essay, organized by
paragraph number. If not, in your outline, identify which sections arent clearly
organized. (1) relationships that lack privacy (2) dating in workplaces, internet, and
social media (3) cell phone evolution (4)people exploiting themselves for internet fame
(5) internet has made people less willing to have face to face conversations (6) counter
argument where the benefits of enhancement of technology has helped. 1) Broadcasting
private things online. 2) Technology is decreasing social abilities. 3) Evolution of
communication. 4) Meeting people on the internet. 5) Family dynamics and the
evolution of technology. 6) Communication languages and technology. 7) Technology is
hurting us. (Jasmine) Paragraph one and two explain the change in technology.
Paragraph three talks about background information on the cell phone. Paragraph four
talks about the internet and relationships. Paragraph five talks about the evolution of
technology. Paragraph six is a refutation on the positive side. Paragraph seven talks
about social media and technology examples. Paragraph eight goes back to the argument
and reinforces the thesis.
Is there something the writer talks about in a paragraph that you think could be deleted
or developed separately? In other words, do certain sentences fall off topic? If so,
indicate by paragraph number which paragraph(s) could benefit from a coherence
revision. The fourth and fifth paragraph show redundancy with each other. The fourth
and fifth paragraph should be deleted or combined with the sixth paragraph because

they are very redundant. The things you said in paragraph four and five are very similar
to the what you wrote in the sixth paragraph. Paragraph five could go with paragraph
four because it can all fit together into one paragraph.
Every idea presented in the essay should somehow connect to the essays thesis. Do all
the paragraphs, points, and thoughts work to fulfill the thesis? If so, identify which
paragraph(s) should be developed for their connection to the thesis.
Do you think the writer needs more support in a paragraph? If so, what
suggestions/questions do you have for the writer? I think all the paragraphs connect to
the thesis and show support, you had good examples. Despite your paragraphs being
redundant they do connect to the thesis, but I think you should develop your paragraphs
more. All paragraphs work towards the thesis despite some organization issues.
Word Choice
Do the paragraphs flow due to the use of transitional words or phrases? If so, identify
an example; if not, identify a location where transitional words or phrases will improve
the flow of the authors writing. There was a lot of words that lacked sentence clarity and
had a slang feel to them. There should be some transitional words or phrases within the
paragraphs. Not as much as they should; face to face communications in paragraph six
could be changed. (Nowadays, face to face communications). (Jasmine)There should
be some improvemnet on the transitional phrases. Between paragraph four and five. I
think there could easily be a transitional phase to help to make since of it.For an
example, Others may feel that the evolution of technology has helped families and
relationships. Such as the use of facetime and social media to find family members, could
benefit from a transitional phrase such as using the word however.

Does the author use metadiscourse (e.g. I am arguing that . . . We have now reviewed
the various types of . . .; next, we must look at . . .) to organize the essay? If so, identify
an example; if not, identify a location where metadiscourse will improve the flow of the
authors writing. No, she could use metadiscourse in paragraph six which is her counter
argument. She could use we must look at how some may feel that technology
No, but she could have used metadiscourse in her first paragraph before she introduced
her thesis. (Im arguing that the internet has pros and cons, but it doesnt mean that we
should let it change who we are.) ( Jasmine)No she should use metadiscourse to further
explain the distinction between the introduction and paragraph three. Face to face
communication has been enhanced with all the new technologies.
It seems like you tried to use it here.

Consider the verbs the author has used in her/his essay. Are the verbs informal (e.g. put
up with, look into), or are the verbs academic (e.g. tolerate, investigate)? If the verbs are
informal, how might they be formalized? Find at least one formal/informal verb to
comment on. The verbs in this essay are formal/ academic. She uses the words
broadcasting instead of telling about and she uses the word evolved instead of
changed. (Jasmine review) In my opinion the verbage is informal. She uses words
such as help, depend, or change. She could use the word alter instead of change.
Consider the adjectives/nouns the author has used in her/his essay. Are the
adjectives/nouns informal (e.g. nice, a lot of), or are the adjective/nouns academic (e.g.

robust, considerable, an integral part of)? If the adjectives/nouns are informal, how
might they be formalized? Find at least one formal/informal adjective or noun to
comment on. The nouns/adjectives in this essay were a mix of formal and informal;
boo, eye flirting, enamored. (Boo/ Significant other). ( Jasmine) She uses informal
adjectives such as funny, people person, popular, and fast. I like how she uses informal
adjectives.
Some of the nouns/adjectives are formal and some are informal such as the words
flipping and intimacy (flipping/flinging).
Conclusion
How has the writer concluded his/her essay? Do you think this method for conclusion
works for the writer, or could the conclusion be more interesting? If you think it could
be better, how might the conclusion better engage readers? (Jasmine) No, I think the
conclusion needs to sum up the entire argument, by maybe restating the thesis and the
authors overall view. The last paragraph seems as if it is not a closing because Some
may feel you lose the chase and whimsical when it comes to dating, is the last sentence.
I believe the last sentence should be about the authors own opinion.

Source Analysis
Does the essay cite a minimum of five sources? Is at least one source scholarly?
Analyzing the five sources, has the author demonstrated triangulation? How do you
know? No, five sources are not cited. The one source that is cited I am not sure is a
scholarly source, because there isn't a works cited page. (jasmine) No only two sources
are cited. It seems like there are more sources within, but you just forgot to cite them.
Are the sources properly integrated with in-text citations? If so, provide an example; if
not, explain why. Yes; (Seward). (jasmine) I think maybe with you may have to include
the date, but not sure. Don't forget to put the period after the parenthese.
Is the Works Cited page formatted correctly?
Titled? No no No works Cited
Alphabetized with citations for each source used and no more? No no No
Double-spaced throughout? No no No
Hanging indent for entries with more than one line? No no No
Does the Works Cited page start on a whole new page after editing? No no No
Are the sources integrated effectively? In other words, each time the author uses an
outside source does s/he . . .
Briefly introduce the source with an introductory phrase? No no No
Clarify the connection between the quotation/paraphrase and their argument?
No no Yes
Follow up with commentary or analysis that explains the importance of the
sources words/ideas to the essays thesis? Kinda slightly Yes, but could be
improved.
Overview

In argument, the authors are expected to offer a clear summary of opposing views, state
the what and why of their position, and offer a refutation in stasis with a statement of
concession. In your opinion, has the author presented these required components?
Indicate yes or no for each. If indicating yes, explain how. If indicating no, offer a
suggestion as to how the author might improve this aspect of the piece.
Debate summary: yes or no
No, the last paragraph doesn't summarize the entire debate and only small pieces.
Supported opinion statement: yes or no
Yes, the thesis is supported in the beginning .
Refutation in stasis: yes or no
Yes, Some may feel that technology has been hurting us instead of helping.
Statement of concession: yes or no
No, establish it better by including better transitional phrases such as however or
although, and then explain the counterargument.
Analyze the authors use of logos, pathos, and ethos. How did the author demonstrate
these rhetorical appeals?
Logos------- The author used accredited sources to demonstrate this rhetorical
appeal I am not all the way sure she hit the logos, seemed a little out of order.
(Jasmine) The logos was established by her using reasoning with her sources, but
some paragraphs could transition better with transitional phrases.
Ethos she used sources to ensure her credibility. (Jasmine) Yes ethos is used
through the two sources mentioned.
Pathos-------- The author delved into her personal experiences with her family,
social media, and the internet to demonstrate this rhetorical appeal She gave the
example of how the internet helps keep families close especially military families.
(Jasmine) Pathos is established through talking about how technology is hurting
our relationships with people.
What additional components of the piece is the reader left wanting? In other words,
what additional information might the essay explore? Provide more in depth details
with her examples. (Jasmine) The author explores how losing the chase in dating can
evolve from the use of technology.
What would you say about the writers style? Does the writings tone/word choice
match the essay content? If so, highlight a specific example; if not, consider suggesting
how the author might match tone/word choice with argument content.
I'm not sure what the writers style is, but she does write how she speaks. Since this
essay is somewhat formal writing how you speak won't do. By using more formal
grammar then this essay could have served its purpose. The style seems a bit like she is
talking to her friends with slang sentences, should be more grammatically correct.
(Jasmine)The writing seems informal, but lacking credibility at time. Maybe include
more example from more sources.
Looking back at the thesis statement, does this statement present an overall claim which
is supported throughout the body paragraphs? Which parts of the essay, if any, deviate

from the thesis statement? Looking back at the essay, what did you like the best about
the writers work? I like what she was trying to say, because it is very relevant in today's
times.
She made it relatable and gave a good perspective for the older aged crowd who may not
understand why the younger generation is so attached to technology.
(Jasmine)I like how she compares dating from an earlier time to now. It is really
interesting to me. All parts eventually connect to the thesis.