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each other. The dream of perfect and everlasting love will sadly
never come to fruition. The soul mate dream will inevitably
morph into the cellmate reality.
When it comes to romantic relationships, we all are indeed human
magnets! I chose the title of this book, The Human Magnet
Syndrome, because it succinctly captures the attraction dynamic
of dysfunctional love. All of us are compelled to fall in love with a
specific personality type that is dichotomously opposite from our
own. Like a metal magnet, human magnets are attracted to each
other when their opposite personalities or magnetic roles are
perfectly matched. The bond created by perfectly matched
human magnets is interminably powerful, binding two lovers
together despite consequences or shared unhappiness. In a
codependent and emotional manipulator1 relationship, this
magnetic force will likely create a long-term dysfunctional
relationship. Conversely, with healthy romantic partners, the
Human Magnet Syndrome results in relationships that are
empowering, affirming and mutually satisfying.
My life experience, which includes 25 years as a psychotherapist,
addiction specialist, consultant, professional trainer and business
owner, has taught me that we are all human magnets, who are
irresistibly attracted to a romantic partner whose personality or
magnetic charge is perfectly opposite, exquisitely compatible,
and equally powerful as our own. I coined the term The Human
Magnet Syndrome to help others understand the ever-present
relationship force that inexorably brings dysfunctional lovers
together, while rendering them powerless to break free from each
other.
I developed the Continuum of Self Theory to illustrate, describe
and even quantify the ever-present attraction that compels
opposite personality types, such as codependents and emotional
manipulators, to come together in a lasting but dysfunctional
romantic relationship. The reader will learn that all potential
romantic partners, healthy or dysfunctional, are magnetically
1 The exact nature of these disorders/conditions will be explained in subsequent chapters.