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Abigail Shields
Professor Tamara Webb
English 1010
April 15, 2016
Real Sex Education or the Practice of Abstinence?
The human body is an incredibly amazing powerhouse capable of so much but without
proper care or knowledge of the body its overall functioning can suffer. It is hard to not be
incredibly fascinated by the human body, our overall sexual health and how we form
relationships. But certain members of society have this intense irrational fear about how sexual
education will corrupt our youth turning them into deviant sexual beings who will only end up
pregnant with STDs. But what research is showing is that when children are given
developmentally appropriate and sequential sexual health and education lessons they are better
prepared to deal with sexual situations, their emotions and the relationships they have with
others. The current debate is within the hands of parents, educators and Congress and all
opinions are being taken into account. However the common denominator is that all are still left
with this particular question, how, when and do we even teach children about sexual education?
I have found that my answer to the question above is that it is time for American school
systems to begin a reformation and take steps to installing Comprehensive Sexuality Education
programs. And its these programs that should model ones already in place in the Netherlands.
This issue should be a top priority as the country moves forward with their acceptance of those in
the LGBT community and it should not be halted due to various religious and or discriminatory
influence. Taking these steps will ensure that children across the world will receive the quality
education they deserve that will better prepare them for the future. Its the job of not only our

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educators and but also the parents who should choose to do right by their children and better
equip them with tools and skills to help them lead healthy and successful adult lives.
So where is it exactly that the United States went wrong and the European countries went
right when it comes to Sex Education? For starters, for the Netherlands in particular they require,
by law all school students must receive some form of sexuality education. This law does allow
for some flexibility in how its taught, but each program must address certain core principles.
(Melker) Now, by contrast, the United States does not have a law mandating that all schools
across the country have a quality Sex Education program. In fact the Sex Education programs
vary from state to state, and less than half of states require that their schools even have it.
(Guttmacher Institute) Even the states that do have some form of a form of Sex Education
program only include that abstinence be the message given to students, they also ban the
discussion of sexual intercourse and any advocating for homosexuality, the use of contraceptives
or sexual activity outside of marriage. And while in the Netherlands you will not be hearing
explicit references to sex in a kindergarten class where the program first begins in what is known
as Spring Fever Week. Where the younger grade school kids learn that Sexuality Education is
so much more than just learning about intercourse and pregnancies. (Melker) Its also about selfimage, developing your own identity, gender roles, and its about learning to express yourself,
your wishes and your boundaries. (Melker) Ineke van der Vlugt, who is an expert on youth
sexual development for Rutgers WPF, the Dutch sexuality research institute behind the
curriculum explained, The term for whats being taught here is sexuality education rather than
sex education. Thats because the goal is bigger than that, its about having open, honest
conversations about love and relationships. (Melker)

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Now even though Congress did extend the Personal Responsibility Education Program,
also known as PREP, which funds comprehensive adolescent sexual health initiatives across the
country (Melker) it just isnt enough. Because to make matters worse Congress increased the
funding for Abstinence-Only Sex education programs by $ 75 million dollars a year. (Melker)
But its people like Deb Hauser who is one of the pioneers for the Sex Education reformation here
in the United States that are making real progressive changes. Hauser is the president of
Advocates for Youth, which is a non-profit organization who strives to better Sexuality
Education. (Melker) In a quote Hauser explained, We have failed to see that sexual health is far
more than simply the prevention of disease or unplanned pregnancy. That narrow focus, leaves
young people with few skills to cope with their feelings and make decisions in sexual
encounters. (Melker)
Debra Hauser has also delivered her own plan for how we should begin integrating a
comprehensive Sexuality program here in the United States and her case is for it to begin in
Kindergarten. (Hauser) The basic details of achieving the structure of a quality Sexuality
Education are through Kindergarten till about 2nd grade students will learn the proper names for
body parts, differences between good touch and bad touch, and ways in which they can be good
friends to one another. And during 4th through 6th grade the students will receive information
about puberty, their changing bodies, internet safety, sexual orientation and gender identity as
well as the harmful impacts of bullying. Finally when the reach the 7th through 10th grade phase
classes will include lessons on healthy body image, reproduction, abstinence, contraception, STD
prevention, positive communication and finally healthy relationships. (Hauser) Its this sort of
plan that really gives a light at the end of the tunnel for how reformation can take place.

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Now Hausers plan also aides to a new voice in the fight for the reformation of Sex
Education. The LGBT community, Planned Parenthood Federation of America and the Human
Rights Campaigns are pulling together their efforts to get proper homosexuality information
integrated into standardized Sex Ed. programs. (Broverman) Neil Broverman who is a writer for
The Advocate, a website dedicated to delivering the news that affects the LGBT community, said
that, most curriculums have scant sex education to begin with, and even less for those students
who fall outside of heterosexual or cisgender descriptions. (Broverman) And it is this lack of
information the youth receives that has led to a rise in sexually transmitted diseases, unintended
pregnancies and psychological damage. But of course religious organizations, like The
Conservative Massachusetts Family Institute are lending their voice to this conversation and are
preparing to dismantle the fight. It is the belief of the Conservative Massachusetts Family
Institute and many other religious organizations that schools should stick to teaching
abstinence-only and not normalize homosexuality. (Broverman)
Its the battle between The LGBT community, Planned Parenthood Federation of
America, and the Human Rights Campaigns against many various religious organizations, which
have many questioning and taking into account the rights parents within the classroom. Many
make the case for parents who are strongly religious and have strict vies that go against what
would be taught in Sexuality Education program within schools. (Zimmerman) Parents express
that you cant make a one size fits all Sex Education program and many want the option to opt
out completely or simply opt out of certain lessons that conflict with their religious or personal
views.
Now I understand the importance of respect when it comes to the views of parents and
what they want their children to learn. But on the other hand I dont think the option for a

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complete opt out should be given and if a parent wants to excuse them from the final stage of the
comprehensive Sexuality Program when then I think its best a meeting be made with the teacher
to discuss the reason for the opt out and the child should know where to seek out suitable
information if they so desire it. And that might sound like its undermining a parents wishes, but I
stand behind the belief that children should get to develop their own opinions about sexuality
health. Parents must realize that even if they are uncomfortable, it is best to simply forge ahead.
It is also wise to remember that they are setting the stage for open, honest discussions in the
years to come. Its time to consider who's best to educate your child, is it you as their parent, the
TV, the Internet or your child's friends? (Mayo Clinic)
We cannot continue live in this dreamland that every parent is going to be involved with
their childs sexual health and well-being. Most of the parents of today have received worse or
possibly no sexual education lessons than their own children are receiving today. Parents can feel
uncomfortable bringing up discussions about sexual health and their childs feelings about
relationships. And just as we can empower our educators by backing them up and giving them
the right tools to build a quality Sexual Education program we can also do the same for the
parents. Throughout a childs life parents and guardians have a real chance at succeeding in
teaching and talking about sex. Parents and guardians have the responsibility just as much as
educators to properly inform their children about their own body parts and how they work as
well as the feelings they will be experiencing as they mature. It is especially key for parents and
guardians during the everyday moments to bring up topics like pregnancy or healthy
relationships that can eventually lead to bigger discussions about sex and sexuality. Parents and
Educators need to take the role they play in a childs sex education seriously. They must
encourage the child to take care of his or her body, develop a healthy sense of self-respect, and

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seek information from trusted sources. Its the thoughtful approach to sex education that can help
children develop a lifetime of healthy sexuality. (Mayo Clinic)
We live in a nation that is going through a dramatic change when it comes to sexuality
health and well-being. Everyday movements and laws are changing that increase acceptance and
social change that we need to be prepared for especially compared to the previous generations
stigmas. These Conversations and knowledge about sex and sexual orientations are becoming
less taboo and much more important. The time has come for new and innovative ideas that will
help the youth today become more stable and healthy individuals than those who came before
them. Maybe we bring in specialists like doctors and child psychologist to help ease the worry on
parents that information is unsuitable. They are so many ways to improve upon the system we
have in place now all it takes is a little action to evoke a nationwide understanding.
I cannot begin to stress enough how much I believe in the importance of preparing
children with the necessary skills and knowledge to lead healthy lives. A reformation of the
United States Sex Education program would put us in the direction of not only preventing
teenage pregnancy and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases. But also increase social
acceptance of different sexual orientations as well as promote healthy body image and positive
relationships with themselves and others. Without a reformation our youth is left to struggle with
unanswered questions and paranoia about premarital sex and sexually transmitted diseases just as
the generations before them did. Instead of receiving overall comprehensive Sexuality Education
they deserve that caters to their well-being as a whole throughout their education. It was Ineke
van der Vlugt who expressed, Of course we want kids to be safe and to understand the risks
involved with sex, but we also want them to know about the positive and fun side of caring for
someone and being in a healthy relationship. (Melker)

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Bibliography
Broverman, Neal. "The Next LGBT Battle: Sex Ed." ADVOCATE. The Advocate.com, 10 Sept.
2015. Web. 06 Apr. 2016.
Hauser, Debra. "Sex Education for Kindergarten and Beyond." The Opinion Pages: Room for
Debate. The New York Times, 8 May 2013. Web. 6 Apr. 2016.
Institute, Guttmacher. "Sex and HIV Education." STATE POLICIES IN BRIEF (2016): 15. Guttmacher.org. Guttmacher Institute, 1 Mar. 2016. Web. 15 Apr. 2016.
Melker, Saskia De. "The Case for Starting Sex Education in Kindergarten." PBS NEWSHOUR.
PBS, 27 May 2015. Web. 05 Apr. 2016.
Zimmerman, Jonathan. "Sex Ed in New Yorks Schools? Fine, but Respect Religious Parents
Who Want to Opt Out." Daily News. New York Daily News, 02 Nov. 2011. Web. 05
Apr. 2016.

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