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LaChristianBrice
ProfessorTammyScaife
Comp1
15Feb.2016
LackofFocusandFearofDecisionMaking
Thegreatestvalueoflifesometimescanbepayingattention.Wemustbeabletopay
attentiontodetailtobeabletoknowwherewearegoingandtomakeitinlife.Wecannotdrive
ifwedonotpayattentiontotheroadandtosignsandtootherdriversalso.Yet,theremaybea
timeinyourlifewhenyounoticeyoumayhavealackoffocus.Youmighttryyourhardestto
concentrateonwhatsomeoneissayingtoyou,butyoufeelasifitsnotdevelopinginyour
mind.Therearemanywhostrugglewiththis.SoIask,wheredoesthisstrugglecomefrom?
Howcanalackoffocus,andfearofdecisionmakingaffectspeople'slives?
IconductedasurveywithsomeoftheUALRstudents.3outof5peoplethinkitcan
affectthosearoundthem.FrommyperspectiveIwouldagree.Myfriendswouldcometomeand
tellmeabouttheirstories.Iwouldlookdirectlyintheireyes,andstillfindawaytonotpay
attentiontowhattheyaresaying.Iwouldconstantlyasktorepeatthestoryagain,anditwasto
thepointwheretheywouldgetmadfromrepeatingit.4outof5peoplethinkpeoplewiththis
strugglecouldgrowoutofnotpayingattention.IpersonalthinkIcouldntasapersonwiththis
problem.Ivebeenhavingthisproblemforsomeyearsnow,andIstillhaventgrownoutofit.
All5ofthepeoplethinkthisstruggledoesntlastlong.Ihadthisproblemforatleasttwoyears
now,andtherehasntbeenanychangesince.ButIdothinkifmeoranybodyelsewiththis
problemwouldgethelpitwouldnotbealifelongeffect.

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Frommyexperience,myclosefamilyandfriendsdidntnoticeuntilmyjunioryearof
highschool.AsyoungasIwasIneverpaidthatanyminduntilthisyearofmyfreshmanyear.I
hadtotaketwofiftyminutelectureclassesthatIdespise,butIknewIhadtotakeitbecauseit
wasrequired.ThefirstweekofclassIwasconcentrating,butInoticeIhadtakenhorriblenotes.
Afterthatweek,Icouldsitfortenminutesandfocus,butthelackofconcentrationcameback.I
wouldlookdirectlyinyoureyesandmakeitseemlikeImfocusbutImdaydreaming.Iwould
daydreamaboutmewalkingtomydormandgettinginmycomfortablebedandeatingallthe
snacksIhadatastefor.IaskedaroundtoseehowIcouldsolvetheproblem,andmostpeople
saidtorecordmyclassesonmyphone.ThenlaterIcouldreplaytheaudioandtakebetternotes
thanbefore.Itrieditoutandpassedtheclass,butIknewIstillhadthatissue.
SooneofmyprofessorinmysecondsemesterofcollegetoldmetogotoUALRlearning
disabilitycentertoseeifIhaveADHD.ADHD(AttentionDeficitHyperactivityDisorder)isa
disorderdefinedbyinattention,impulsivity,and/orhyperactivitythataffectsfunctioningand
development.Thesymptomsaredaydreaming,forgetfulness,squirmorfidget,excessivetalking,
makecarelessmistakes,takeunnecessaryrisks,hardtimeresistingtemptation,havetrouble
takingturns,anddifficultygettingalongwithothers.
IwenttotheUALRlearningdisabilitycenterandIasked,CouldIgettestedfor
ADHD?Welltheschooldoesntprovidethetest,buttheydogiveoutplacestogogettested.
Theonlythingtheycoulddoforthisproblemisgiveouthelpfultips.Ifthetipsdontworkthey
wouldsuggestyoutogogettested.Theyaskedme,WhatwasthestruggleImdealingwith?
HaveItriedanythingtohelpmewithmyclasses?Theysuggestasmartpenformylackofnote
takingskills.Thesmartpenisapenthatcanrecordeverythingyouwriteandhear.Thepositive

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thingaboutthepenisyoucantapanywhereonyourelectricalnotepadanditreplaystheaudioat
thetimeyouwrotethesentence.Thenegativethingiswhateveryoudeleteontheelectrical
notepadiscompletelydeleted.Theschooldoesprovidethesmartpenforasemesterforfree.The
schooldoesntletyougettheelectricalnotepadforthesemester.Youllhavetobuyityourown
atUALRlibrary.AnothertipwastouseanaudiocdfortextbookforwhenIlosefocusortired
ofreading.Ihadfilledoutaformsotheycouldprovidemeanaudiocd.Ihaventusethese
materialsyetbecauseIhavetowaitonaemailbacktocomepicktheitemsup.
Fearofdecisionmakinghasastronginvolvementwithlackoffocus.Iwasindecisiveof
anythingsomeoneaskedme.Forinstance,IwantedtogotoUCAbutIwasapointbehindon
myACTtogetaccepted.AfterthatIcouldntdecidedwhereIwantedtogobecausethatwasthe
onlyschoolIplantospendtherestofmylifeat.Thatswhenmymotherdecidedformetogoto
UALR.AweekbeforeIleftItalkedtooneofmyuncleabouthowIwasindecisiveoftheschool
mymotherpicked.HesuggestedthatIshouldworkandgotoschoolinmyhometownEl
Dorado,Arkansas.HethoughtIwasntreadyfortheoutsideworld.Afterthattalkitreallyhad
methinkinghardaboutthedecisionImgoingtomake.ButIstilldecidetogotoUALRbecause
mymotherwassadandlookedlikeshewasgoingtocry.
Duringthepreparationofmydormroom,Iwasindecisiveforthedecoration.Iwasnt
reallypreparedtomoveinthedormsbecauseIwasgoingtopartiesalotsomymoneywasspent
there.Ialsowantedtochangemymajortonursing,butmymotherthoughtIwastakingtheeasy
wayout.
Withthefearofdecisionmakingitaffectedmyfriendstoo.Myfriendswouldgetmad
whentheyask,WhatIwantedtodotoday?Iwouldalwayssay,Idontknoworitdoesnt

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matter.EvenwhenIdodecideonanything,Istillwouldthinkaboutwhatothersfeelaboutmy
decision.Iwouldpickoutanoutfitandsitthereandthinkifpeoplewouldmakejokeaboutitor
not.
Oneofmyintervieweestoldmeanexperienceoftheirlackofdecisionmaking.Hergoal
wastobeinasorority.Shecouldn'tdecidefromZetaorDelta.Someofherrelativeswere
Deltas,buthermothersteppedoutofthetraditionandbecameaZeta.Sohermotherexpected
hertobeaZetaandstarttheirnewtradition.SheknewinhermindshewantedtobeaZeta,but
herheartsaidDelta.Sheaskedherfriendsforhelpandtheysaid,Dowhatthehearttellsyou.
Tothisdaysheisstilldeciding,butshesaid,IthinkIwanttodowhattheheartistellingme.
Iamstillstrugglingwiththelackoffocusandfearofdecisionmaking,butImgetting
morehelpwiththelackofconcentration.Ithinkaboutthissituationeveryday,everysecond,and
everyminuteofmylife.Itisnoteasydealingwiththissituation,becauseIthinkaboutwhat
othersthinkorfeelaboutwhatIdoorsay.Itrytoignorewhatpeoplethinkaboutmebecauseat
theendofthedayImlivingthislife.SoIamgoingtotrythismindsetofnotthinkingbutbeing
happyinlife.

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WorksCited
WhatisADHD?
QuillivantXR
.PhizerCorporation.2015.

AttentionDeficit/HyperactivityDisorder(ADHD)CentersforDiseaseControlandPrevention.
USDepartmentofHealthandHumanServices.2016.

HaleyBailey.February4,2016
JanetWilliams.February4,2016
LaylaJones.February5,2016
KeAsiaMoore.February5,2016
UniqueSapps.February6,2016

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