LindseyWeinstein

Mrs.Pritchard
EnglishII

19November2015

DarkRomanticLiteraryAnalysisCorrections
Arg12a

Original:Thehumanmindcanbegreatlyaffectedbyhowtheyactinsociety.
o

ThissentencehasanIndefinitepronounerrortheerroristhepronoundoesnotmatchnounitrefers.
o

Tofixthesentence,youcanchangethepronountheytoheorshe.

Fixedsentence:TheHumanmindcanbegreatlyaffectedbyhowheorsheactsinsociety.
Awkwardrephrase:

Original:In"TheLightningRodMan"themanisconnectedtothedarkstormovercast:
o

Thissentenceisconfusingandawkward,thesentenceneedstoflowsothereadercanunderstandthe
quoteinthefollowingsentence.
o

Youcanfixthestructuralerrorbychangingthearrangementofthesentence.

FixedSentence:TheCharacterintheLightingRodmanappearsfromthestormandhasastrong
connectiontotheweatherovercast:
p21a:

Original:Whatgrandirregularthunder,thoughtI,standingonmyhearthstoneamongthe
Acroceraunianhills,asthescatteredboltsboomedoverheadandcrasheddownamongthevalleys,every

boltfollowedbyzigzagirradiations,andswiftslantsofsharprain,whichaudiblyrang,likeachargeof
spearpoints,onmylowshingledroof(Melville756)
o

Thereisamissingperiodinthequote.
o

Tofixthisproblemaddaperiodinbetweenthequoteandpagenumber.

Fixedsentence:Whatgrandirregularthunder,thoughtI,standingonmyhearthstoneamongthe
Acroceraunianhills,asthescatteredboltsboomedoverheadandcrasheddownamongthevalleys,every
boltfollowedbyzigzagirradiations,andswiftslantsofsharprain,whichaudiblyranglikeachargeof
spearpoints,onmylowshingledroof.(Melville756)
p17aI(h)

Original:Poeusesimageryinthisportionofthesecondstanza"Besilentinthatsolitude,/Whichis
notlonelinessforthen/Thespiritsofthedeadwhostood/Inlifebeforetheeareagain(Poe68).
o

Inthesentencethereisamissingcomabeforeadirectquotationandsentencesneedcommastosetof
directquotationswithintroducedexpressions.
o

Tofixtheproblemthesentenceneedsacommaaftertheintroductionandbeforequotation.

Fixedsentence:Poeusesimageryinthisportionofthesecondstanza,"Besilentinthatsolitude,/
Whichisnotlonelinessforthen/Thespiritsofthedeadwhostood/Inlifebeforetheeareagain(Poe
68).
WrongWord:

Original:Themanssinseparatedhimfromsociety,whichhavealargeeffectonhimmentally
o

Thesentencehastheerrorofanincorrectwordusedinthesentence.

Thedeadwordcanalterbychangingthecontext,soitfitsintothesentence.

Fixed:Theman`ssinseparatedhimfromsociety,whichhadatremendouspsychologicalimpact.
Fs15:

Original:Hawthornecreatesacommontheme,usingtheveil,aboutthepowerofguiltandwhatitcan
dotopeopleandhoweachpersoncopeswithit.
o

Thesentencehasastructuralerror,andthesentenceisarunon.
o

Thestructuralerrorcanbefixedbysplittingupthesentences.

Fixed:Hawthornecreatesacommontheme,fromtheveil.Theveildisplaysthepowerofguilt,whatit
candoto,andhoweachpersoncopeswithit.
Wrongword:

Original:Thetoneofthestorychangesfrompeacefulbutthenescalatestodarknesstheargumentative
tonecreatesthemaninthestormjustasdestructiveasthestormandasstrange
o

Thesentencehasincorrectwording.
o

Youcanfixtheerrorbychangingthewordingandcreatingamorestructuredsentence.

Fixed:Thetoneofthestorychangesfrompeacefulbutthenescalatestodarknesstheargumentative
toneshapesthemaninthestormlikethedestructivestormandstrangestorm.
IncorrectPhrasing:

Original:ThroughoutDarkRomantic`sincludingMelville,Poe,andHawthorne,theirwriting
expressesthethemeofcharactersstrugglingtofitintoasocialmold.
o

Thesentenceusesincorrectphrasing,anditintroducestheparagraphwiththeincorrectphrasingofthe
sentence.
o

Tofixthesentence,changethebeginningofthesentence.

Fixed:InDarkRomanticliteratureincludingMelville,Poe,andHawthorne,theirwritingexpressesthe
themeofcharactersstrugglingtofitintoasocialmold.
1arg10

Original:In"MinistertheBlackVeil"weseeanunfamiliarobjectthatcauseacommotioninthemold
ofsocietythattownsfolkareusedto.
o

Thesubjectandtheverbdisagree.
o

Thesentencecanalterbymakingthesubjectandverbagree.

Fixed:In"MinistertheBlackVeil"weseeanunfamiliarobjectthatcausesacommotioninthemold
ofsocietythattownsfolkareusedto.
MissingWord,p17j,arg10,

Original:Melville'swriting,thenarrator,seesamysteriousstormandmeetsanunacquaintedmanwho
comesintothesmallhomeandcreatestensionbetweenthetwo.
o

Therearecrucialerrorsmissingwords,incorrectusageofcommas,andnotmakingthesubjectand
verbagree.

Thesentencecanimprovebychangingthestructureofthesentencetofixtheerrors.

Fixed:Melville'swritingthenarratorseesamysteriousstormandmeetsanunacquaintedmanwho
arrivesinthesmallhomeandcreatestension.
Frag14:

Original:InDarkRomanticwritingsfeaturedcharactersstrugglingtoformintothesocietalmoldof
theirlifestyleandtheirprestigiouswayofcopingwithbeingdifferentanddealingwiththeirslowdescent
intomadness.
o

Thesentenceisafragmentthatneedstobesplituptoorganizedtheinformationinthesentence.
o

Tofixtheproblem,repairthesentencefragmentandcreateanewsentence.

Fixed:InDarkRomanticcharactersstruggletofitintotheirsocietalmold.Thewritingsalsoshow
theirmethodsofcopingwithbeingdiverse.