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Bridget Sowa
Mrs. Pettay
ENG 112
3 March 2016
A Helping or Hurtful Hand?
Every parent and their children are going to be different because each family situation is
going to be different. Some children will have better resources than others, putting them in a
more advantageous situation for school. These could range from better calculators to better
books in order to assist them in homework. A better resource for some children could even be
their parents helping with homework. While helping children with their homework is beneficial
in some cases, if children rely too heavily on their parents help it could harm them in the long
run. Parents should help their kids sporadically with homework because in the long run it will
give children more independence and higher motivation to succeed throughout their life.
Homework was created in order for a children to continue practicing what they learned in
their classes that day. Obviously parents were not present in the class with their child. There are
some parents that can give their child an advantage over others. H. Richard Milner IV, professor
of urban education at the University of Pittsburgh, explains that a mother who is a chemist has
the ability to help her child with chemistry homework in ways that most people cannot. This
puts these students in a better position compared to their classmates. When children go to their
parents instead of figuring out what to do on their own, this is not going to set these children up
to have more independence. Instead this will teach these children to rely on their parents more.
Jessica Lahey, author of the upcoming book The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to
Let Go so Their Children Can Succeed, tells how, research has shown that the children of

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autonomy-supportive parents...are subsequently better able to complete tasks on their own when
that parent is not present. This research shows that homework does give children independence.
While some help could benefit children, childrens grades can suffer if the parent is always
hovering over their shoulder.
Some parents would argue that unless they are hovering over their childs shoulder, the
homework would not be done. In some cases the hovering can be necessary. I have known kids
throughout my years in school, that unless forced to by their parents, will not complete the
homework or project. It obviously instills low independence in these children if their parents
always have to be there for them to actually complete their work. The parents that hover over
their childs shoulder are known as helicopter parents because of their constant hovering.
Helicopter parents do not want to accept that their child could be anything less than perfect. Yet
Martha Brockenbrough, a former high school teacher, explains it best when talking about her
own two daughters saying, Theyve handed in homework thats less than perfect. And this
might look like incompetence, but when I see it, I see learning in progress. Parents need to let
their kids fail otherwise children will not learn what they need to from their homework
assignments.
My mother was always extremely involved in my life when I was younger. She made
sure to volunteer at both my elementary and middle school, resulting in teachers I did not even
have knowing who I was. This set me up for high expectations which I rose to. These high
expectations made it so ever since third grade, when it became possible to get letter grades, I
have earned honor roll. When I was younger, my mother was more likely to have to remind me
of homework and check homework. Once I reached middle school I told her to stop asking
about my homework because I had control of it. Erika Patall, assistant professor of educational

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psychology in the College of Education at the University of Texas at Austin, tells how, parents
will support their kids school success when they communicate clear expectations and help
students develop a homework routine. As Patall mentions, my mother had helped me develop a
homework routine which lead to me gaining a higher motivational level to finish my homework.
Having a set routine to my homework helps motivate me to do it because I know what needs to
be done and when.
My brother was a different story. My parents raised us the same way, it could even be
said that my mother was more involved in his life then mine. Yet my brother did not rise to those
same expectations that were set for him. He always seemed to rely on my mother more as a
child and still now as a teenager. My mother to this day has to remind him of homework and tell
him when to do it. If there is a project due for him soon and he still has not started, my mom has
to start yelling for him to get moving. Some parents do have to stand over their childrens
shoulders in order for them to accomplish their homework. Lahey presents research on these
parents though saying, children of directive or controlling parents, who intervene and
manage every detail of their childs performance, tend give up when faced with challenge and
frustration. The research Lahey cites shows children who develop this habit of reliance on their
parents do not have the motivation it will take to help them succeed in their life.
On the one hand, children do need help with their homework when it is a new topic. On
the other hand, parents cannot let the children start to rely too heavily on them for help. Some of
the first building blocks for independence and motivation start with homework. Parents,
sporadically help kids do their homework so they do not develop a behavior of reliance for
homework aid.

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Works Cited
Brockenbrough, Martha. "Support Your Kids By Letting Learning Happen." NY Times Room for
Debate. New York Times, 12 Nov. 2014. Web. 26 Feb. 2016.
Lahey, Jessica. "Autonomy Works Best for the Classroom." NY Times Room for Debate. New
York Times, 12 Nov. 2014. Web. 26 Feb. 2016.
Milner, Richard. "Not All Students Have Access to Homework Help." NY Times Room for
Debate. New York Times, 13 Nov. 2014. Web. 26 Feb. 2016.
Patall, Eria A. "Help Children Form Good Study Habits." NY Times Room for Debate. New York
Times, 12 Nov. 2014. Web. 4 Mar. 2016.