Section I, Part A

Directions: Read the passage below and respond to the following three questions.

Identify the author's argument, main idea, or thesis.

Explain the author's line of reasoning by identifying the claims used to build the argument and the
connections between them.

Evaluate the effectiveness of the evidence the author uses to support the claims made in the argument.

Source Text
From Political Ideals by Bertrand Russell (1917)
1 In dark days, men need a clear faith and a well-grounded hope; and as the outcome of these, the calm courage
which takes no account of hardships by the way. T he times through which we are passing have afforded to many of
us a confirmation of our faith. We see that the things we had thought evil are really evil, and we know more definitely
than we ever did before the directions in which men must move if a better world is to arise on the ruins of the one
which is now hurling itself into destruction. We see that men's political dealings with one another are based on
wholly wrong ideals, and can only be saved by quite different ideals from continuing to be a source of suffering,
devastation, and sin.
2 Political ideals must be based upon ideals for the individual life. T he aim of politics should be to make the lives of
individuals as good as possible. T here is nothing for the politician to consider outside or above the various men,
women, and children who compose the world. T he problem of politics is to adjust the relations of human beings in
such a way that each severally may have as much of good in his existence as possible. And this problem requires
that we should first consider what it is that we think good in the individual life.
3 T o begin with, we do not want all men to be alike. We do not want to lay down a pattern or type to which men of all
sorts are to be made by some means or another to approximate. T his is the ideal of the impatient administrator. A
bad teacher will aim at imposing his opinion, and turning out a set of pupils all of whom will give the same definite
answer on a doubtful point. Mr. Bernard Shaw is said to hold that Troilus and Cressida is the best of Shakespeare's
plays. Although I disagree with this opinion, I should welcome it in a pupil as a sign of individuality; but most
teachers would not tolerate such a heterodox view. Not only teachers, but all commonplace persons in authority,
desire in their subordinates that kind of uniformity which makes their actions easily predictable and never
inconvenient. The result is that they crush initiative and individuality when they can, and when they cannot, they
quarrel with it.
4 It is not one ideal for all men, but a separate ideal for each separate man, that has to be realized if possible. Every
man has it in his being to develop into something good or bad: there is a best possible for him, and a worst possible.
His circumstances will determine whether his capacities for good are developed or crushed, and whether his bad
impulses are strengthened or gradually diverted into better channels.
5 But although we cannot set up in any detail an ideal of character which i s to be universally applicablealthough
we cannot say, for instance, that all men ought to be industrious, or self-sacrificing, or fond of musicthere are
some broad principles which can be used to guide our estimates as to what is possible or desirable.
6 We may distinguish two sorts of goods, and two corresponding sorts of impulses. T here are goods in regard to
which individual possession is possible, and there are goods in which all can share alike. T he food and clothing of
one man is not the food and clothing of another; if the supply is insufficient, what one man has is obtained at the
expense of some other man. T his applies to material goods generally, and therefore to the greater part of the

present economic life of the world. On the other hand, mental and spiritual goods do not belong to one man to the
exclusion of another. If one man knows a science, that does not prevent others from knowing it; on the contrary, it
helps them to acquire the knowledge. If one man is a great artist or poet that does not prevent others from painting
pictures or writing poems, but helps to create the atmosphere in which such things are possible. If one man is full of
good-will toward others, that does not mean that there is less good-will to be shared among the rest; the more goodwill one man has, the more he is likely to create among others. In such matters there is no possession, because
there is not a definite amount to be shared; any increase anywhere tends to produce an increase everywhere.

Sample Response
1. Identify the author's argument, main idea, or thesis.
Bertrand Russell's main argument is that politics should improve the lives of the people and foster individuality.
2. Explain the author's line of reasoning by identifying the claims used to build the argument and the
connections between them.
Russell's main claim is that politicians must focus on doing what they can to make the lives of the people as good as
possible. He begins by describing the status quo as being in a state of distress, and claims that this is due to
politicians losing sight of what matters to the people they govern. He then uses a call to action tactic, stating that the
only way to restore happiness is to adopt new political ideals.
Russell's arguments are centered on the idea that balance must be restored between individual needs and societal
needs. He claims that in order for the people to be happy, politics must allow for individuality. Russell supports and
explains this claim with the example of a classroom teacher forcing his students to all adopt the same views and
opinions. If individuality is not honored in a classroom, the students will not be happy, and will become resentful of
the teacher. Russell compares this scenario to the status quo of the nation, stating that the government and figures
of authority prefer their subordinates to have uniformity in views and ideas so they may be more easily controlled.
He believes politicians must adopt more flexible ideals that can fit the individuality of the people, not the other way
around. He then uses another call to action, stating to the government that their ideals and decisions have the
power to bring out the best or the worst in the people.
Russell's final claim is that politicians should put more emphasis on cultivating knowledge, good will, and creativity
as opposed to material goods and consumerism. He expands on this claim by pointing out that material goods are
finite and can only be given to someone at the expense of someone else, whereas concepts such as knowledge,
good will, and creativity are potentially limitless and can be shared without sacrifice.
3. Evaluate the effectiveness of the evidence the author uses to support the claims made in the argument.
Russell's thesis is reasonably convincing, but is based on the idea that the government is not adequately serving its
people, which he did not argue strongly enough. He does not use enough concrete examples of how the
government is actively failing the people. However, his ideas of how the government could better serve the people
make sense. T he structure of his arguments consist of a claim, a concrete or abstract example, followed by a call to
action. Using a call to action strategy is an especially persuasive tool. For example, Russell claims that a
government that oppresses individuality fails to serve the people in the way he believes a government should. He
supports this claim with a metaphorical example of a classroom teacher forcing uniformity onto his students and
connects that to a government forcing uniformity onto its people. Finally, he calls on the government to adopt more
flexible ideals to fit the individual. Russell uses this strategy to effectively argue how the government should be run,
but he only suggests that the government is focusing on the wrong ideals. He does not provide any concrete
examples of any poor decisions the government has made, or how these decisions have adversely affected the
people.

Breakdown
We love hate to brag, but this sample response would get a perfect score of 15 on the AP Seminar Exam. T he
responses for each question contain just what the graders are looking for, without a bunch of extra fluff. Keeping
responses concisewhile including every piece of relevant informationis the key to good analytical writing.

Commented [t1]: Aint nobody got time for that!

Question 1 is pretty darn straightforward: Identify the author's thesis. T his response is the shortest of the 3
questions, and the temptation to draw it out with extra fluff n' stuff will be strong. Resist that urge, though. T his
response deserves all 3 points because it states the thesisthat politicians should 1) act for the good of the people
and 2) respect and encourage individualityaccurately and concisely. T hat's double-thumbs up worthy stuff, that is.
Responses to question 2 should be thorough, but still as concise as possible. T he sample response would get all 6
points because it explains the author's line of reasoning accurately and with all the relevant details. T he response
highlights each of the author's claims and the examples of rhetoric the author used to support said claims. For
example, the response describes Russell's classroom teacher example illustrating how a government should
embrace the individuality of its people. Every word is deliberateno fluff here! Rememberthese are shortanswer questions, and students should aim to spend about 30 minutes on this section of the exam. Save all the
hand-cramping, heavy writing for later.

Commented [t2]: Be concise! (a.k.a.-Get to the point!)

T he sample response to question 3 evaluates whether the author made a convincing argument. The key to getting
all 6 points isn't just using evidence; it's also stating the criteria you're using to evaluate the author's arguments. T he
sample response explains how Russell made some convincing arguments about what the government should do to
serve the people, but that he didn't provide enough concrete examples of exactly why the government needed to
change, or how it was mistreating its people. T he sample response correctly notes howwithout both of these
criteria metthe main argument falls a bit flat.

Evaluation Criteria
T he exam graders assess a student's ability to identify, assess, and evaluate the arguments presented in a provided
text. You could agree with the author whole-heartedly, or think he or she is a complete quack, as long as you can
back up your opinion with reasonable evidence.

Section I, Part B
Directions: Read the following two articles while carefully noting their perspectives, implications, and limitations.
Write an essay that compares the two arguments by evaluating their effectiveness. Address the relevance and
credibility of the evidence the authors use.

Article A
From "New electricity meters are smartbut are they trusted?" by Robert J. Margetta (2015)
1 T he smart grid: It's the power-system modernization effort that U.S. utilities are building to meet the country's
growing demands for electricity. But it's not confined to power plants and substationsif you have a smart meter, a
key piece of smart grid technology already is attached to your house.

Commented [t3]: !!!

2 T his means that Americans' willingness to accept those meters, and use the features they provide, serves an
important role in developing a more reliable, secure electrical grid.
3 T hus far, little data exist on how Americans feel about swapping out the old, fish-globe style meters for digital
models that can automatically communicate with power companies, providing them with usage and billing data. With
support from the National Science Foundation's Social, Behavioral and Economic Sciences directorate, Syracuse
University information studies professors Jason Dedrick and Jeffrey Stanton are looking to help fill that knowledge
gap.
4 "T here's a whole range of benefits to the smart grid," Dedrick said. "You're more resilient. You have fewer
outages. If something like a hurricane comes, you do better in it and recover faster. But there are challenges
notably privacy and security, and those go hand-in-hand."
5 Dedrick and Stanton will be talking to focus groups in areas around the country that are using smart meters and
meeting with utility companies to gather data on the changing relationship between power users and power
providers. T hey'll be looking at how trust dynamicsfor example, how much data customers are comfortable
providing to companiescould play into smart meters reaching their potential as a significant technological
advance.
6 "T he relationship with the power company so far is that it's someone who sends you a bill once a month, and you
call them when the lights go out," he said. "T here isn't much of a relationship otherwise. T hat could be changing."
...
7 Smart meters aren't far-flung future technology; by the end of 2013, more than 50 million of them had been
installed in the U.S., covering over 35 percent of customers.
8 Unlike the first deployed automated meters, which merely allowed companies to read them remotely, more recent
units promise new customer benefits. T wo years ago, the number of these "two-way" smart meters surpassed the
ones that only offer automated reading.
9 T he new meters can crunch usage data into billing reports, telling users, sometimes at an hourly level, when
they're spending the most on power and how to cut back on costs. T hey can alert homeowners when their usage
spikes. T hey can even integrate with customers' preferred smart phone budgeting apps. If customers shape their
habits around those datasay, cutting down usage at peak timesthe result could be less stress on power grids,
lower consumption of fossil fuels at plants, and lower electric bills for customers.
10 But, as so often happens with new technology, the issues facing smart meters have as much to do with user
behaviors as the machines themselves.
11 Part of the challenge, as Dedrick describes it, has to do with awareness. "In a lot of the cases, people might even
be unaware that they have smart meters," he said. When they do, they often aren't taking advantage of the
technology. Something as simple as having to type in a password to access smart meter information on a website
can drastically cut down the number of people who access those data, he said.

12 Even if customers become aware of what their smart meters can do, there's still the issue of whether they trust
the machines that are gathering data on their householdsand the companies that collect that information.
13 Your power usage can say a lot about you. It could indicate whether you're at home or on vacation, what time
you're awake or asleep or when you run certain appliances. But who's accessing those data? Are the data

anonymized? How is the information being secured? Could it be sold? Could it be provided to law enforcement?
Creating new sources of data brings up new privacy and security questions, and these are new territory for the
power sector.
14 T he current theoretical model of privacy and technology, according to Dedrick, posits that customers' willingness
to share private information is rooted in the nature of their relationship with the party collecting the data. A social
media company might collect more data from users than a utility company. But, if users have an acceptable level of
trust in the social media company and see their disclosures as voluntary, they might be agreeable to that.
Furthermore, their level of willingness to share can vary due to factors such as income and educational levels.
15 "What we're finding talking to people is that privacy is a very complicated issue," Dedrick said. "We're looking at
the level of concern, and of trust, toward certain types of industries with certain information."
16 For utilities that traditionally haven't seen the kind of high-volume customer interaction as something like a social
media company, this is complex new terrain and promises to expand even more in the future. As the smart grid
expands, customers are turning to their power utilities to connect solar panels and electric car charging stations.
Utilities are starting to reach out to customers with incentives to cut down usage at peak consumption times.
17 "T here's a lot more interaction involved," Dedrick said. "From the utility's point of view, they're developing a whole
new outlook."
18 And a vital part of that new outlook will be understanding not only the technology, but equally important, what
customers really thinkand how they behave.

Article B
From "A Beautiful Defense for Smart Grids" by Sarah Bates (2015)
1 Smart meters, smart appliances, electric vehicles, and the increasing number of devices connected through the
Internet of T hings offer users and grid operators new opportunities to control the usage of power at a scale never
seen before.
2 "Essential to the reliable operation of the grid is the need to balance supply and demand on a sub-second
timescale," says Eilyan Bitar, a Cornell University engineer who designs algorithms for control of large-scale
systems. "T raditionally, we schedule supply to follow demand. T here is, however, a considerable flexibility in
demand that remains largely untapped. So, why not tailor demand to follow supply?"
3 For instance, in the U.S., the power grid is designed to operate at a frequency of 60 hertz. Deviations in frequency
from this nominal value indicate an imbalance between supply and demand in the system.
4 Instead of relying entirely on large centralized generators to balance the system, your smart refrigerator could
sense an imbalance between supply and demand by simply measuring the frequency of its local voltage.
5 If there is excess demand on the system, the refrigerator could automatically allow its interior temperature to
increase by a degree or two to decrease its energy usenot enough to spoil your milk, but enough to alleviate load
on the system and save energy.
6 Multiple devices could be doing this simultaneously throughout your house and your neighbors' houses, creating a
dynamic network of devices acting in concert.
7 T his is what Bitar calls a "grid with an intelligent periphery."

8 Such a decentralization of control authority across millions of end-point devices would give rise to a far more
efficient power grid and lessen the danger of a single catastrophic failure (natural or malicious) taking down the
whole system; however, it also opens up more points of entry.

9 For all its upsides, it's possible for malicious hackers to purposefully feed bad data to controllers, who may
mistakenly believe the energy flow needs to be adjusted, essentially fooling the control system into disrupting its
own state.
10 Cedric Langbort, a University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign engineer who uses game theory to develop secure
control algorithms, says the challenge is that "you don't know what you don't know."

11 For Langbort, cybersecurity is more than preventing hackers from getting into the system. He assumes a hacker
will find a way inespecially in a system with more and more distributed entry points. T he challenge is how to
detect those seemingly innocuous perturbations and develop countermeasures for an attack in progress.

12 T hose things can include whether the attacker has altered the sensor signals to provide incorrect
measurementsmaybe not enough to trigger an alarm about an "unnatural" perturbation, but enough so the
controller unnecessarily adjusts the energy flow.
13 T here is, however, a solution: Langbort is developing an algorithm that would help people make decisions when
information is incomplete or even purposefully misleading.
14 "T here is a lot of interest in cybersecurity right now," he says. "Because these are difficult, fundamental
problems. T hese types of games that involve partial information are not well understood."
15 He is even playing both sides of the game in his research, setting up smart control systems and then trying to
hack them. He's doing so to identify the weaknesses, as well as potential methods to exploit weaknesses, and use
them to build a new, stronger control theory system.
16 Langbort, Bitar and other NSF-funded researchers are exploring vital issues that have immediate impacts tied to
long-term implications for the power grid. With millions of new points of control, there is tremendous potential to
improve efficiency and resiliency, and these experts are devoted to ensuring that this improved technology doesn't
come at the cost of decreased security.

Sample Response
Articles A and B both identify privacy and security as the major concern linked with the development and
implementation of smart grids. Article A claims that utility companies must establish trust in order for Americans to
accept smart grids into their homes and use the interactive features that make the smart grids run with maximum
efficiency. According to Article A, without establishing trust in this new system, utility users will continue resisting the
implementation of smart grids, and the whole system will not work as intended. Article B also acknowledges
concerns relating to smart grids, but reassures readers that major research and testing projects are already being
conducted to address and alleviate these concerns. Article A address more privacy concerns, while Article B
focuses on security concerns.

Commented [t4]: 1 st sentence shows common

theme/argument

Article A describes the benefits of smart grids: increased efficiency of energy use and added resilience against
outages. However, it also emphasizes that these benefits can only be fully realized if Americans are willing to utilize
this system in their homes. It cites privacy concerns as the main reason that Americans are hesitant to use these
systems. Examples supporting this claim include doubts about who's accessing the data, whether the data is
anonymized, and how the data is being secured. T he article also expresses a concern that the data could be sold or
provided to law enforcement. In order for Americans to accept the fact that data about their household is being
gathered, analyzed, and stored, they must trust the company harboring their data. T o support this claim, the author
quotes a credible source, Jason Dedrick of the National Science Foundation's Social, Behavioral, and Economic
Sciences directorate. Dedrick says that social media companies are able to gather a wide variety of data from their
users because the users feel their data is being shared voluntarily; if the smart grid technology is to be successful,
utility companies must establish the same kind of trust. T he people must be willing to allow their personal
information to be gathered. T his claim is validated by a credible source, and uses the relatable example of social
media to convince readers that utility companies must develop new strategies to establish users' trust. T he
argument is successful in convincing readers that once the trust is established, smart grid technology has immense
potential to increase power efficiency and resilience.
Article B cites security as the major concern pertaining to the implementation of smart grid technology, and offers a
reassuring stance on the subject. T he author states that extensive research and testing are already being conducted
to address the issue, and that the benefits of the technology outweigh the potential dangers. T his claim is supported
by the fact that smart meters give homes the power to adjust their individual supply of electricity, instead of relying
on large grids that balance the power supply of all the homes and businesses of an entire region. T his will allow
utilities to be run with maximum efficiency and resilience. The author uses a quote from a credible source, Cornell
University engineer Eilyan Bitar, to support this claim. Bitar explains that this function of the technology is essential
to the reliable operation of power grids, and provides examples of appliances that can automatically adjust their
power supply to run with more efficiency and balance the supply of power throughout a region. T he author's
arguments are successful in showing readers the potential of smart grid technology to have a positive impact on a
world with an increasing demand for electricity.
T he author then goes on to acknowledge the potential threat of cyber attacks that can occur within the smart grid
system, but reassures readers that highly-qualified engineers are already hard at work figuring out how to make the
system more secure. She quotes University of Illinois Urbana-Champaigne engineer Cedric Langbort, who confirms
that the National Science Foundation is funding extensive research and testing to strengthen the security of smart
grid technology. Langbort's explanation of the research being conducted successfully leads readers to believe that a
solution is in sight.
In comparing the two articles, Article B has a stronger argument. Article A presents the advantages and
disadvantages and backs up the information with credible evidence, but Article B uses more persuasive language
when talking about the benefits of implementing smart grids. Overall, Article B is more successful in persuading
readers to believe that the challenges of smart grids can be overcome and the benefits of implementing this system
largely outweigh the drawbacks.

Breakdown
T his is where we start tooting our own horn again, because this sample response would score a perfect 18. T he
response offers a thorough analysis of the evidence from both articles by stating the claims and assessing whether
the supporting evidence is credible. In this case, both articles contain evidence from university professors and NSFfunded engineers to support the authors' claims. T hey also use these professors and engineers as credible backup
to support their arguments about the benefits of smart grid technology and the security measures that are being
taken to help control the technology. These quotable dudes are experts in their fields, and what they have to say is
based purely on the cold, hard facts. An example of a less credible source would be if the author of either article
quoted the CEO of a power supplier using smart grid technology. T hat'd be a major no-no.

Commented [t5]: 1 st sentence of conclusion states

winner

T he sample response also successfully evaluates the strengths and weaknesses in the authors' arguments and
evaluates any limitations. Remember: you don't have to find credibility in the authors' claims and evidence. If it's not
there, that's okaymake sure to provide a thorough explanation of why the arguments are lame. In this case, the
sample response declared Article A to be less effective in persuading readers because it focused more on the issue
of establishing user trust and less on convincing readers of the benefits of smart grid technology. Article B, on the
other hand, offers much more in terms explaining and convincing readers of the benefits. T he sample response
explains both these points clearly and concisely.

Evaluation Criteria
Students, get ready to don your black robes and bang the gavel; you're the judges presiding over this case. T he
exam graders are looking for essays that weigh the authors' arguments and evidence and offer a detailed
explanation of who came out on top. It's possible that one, both, or none of the authors have a decent argument, so
state what you believe to be true, as long as you can back it up with a reasonable explanation.
Remember: T he all-powerful exam graders are looking for students to identify the arguments in the articles and
evaluate their credibility, ultimately ruling whether to not the arguments are persuasive. T hey aren't looking for a
summaryyou must go deeper, young grasshopper!

Commented [t6]: Dont summarize, ANALYZE!!!

Section II
Directions: Read the four sources, paying special attention to their perspectives and themes. Then write an
organized, well-reasoned, and well-written argument that presents your own perspective on the theme or issue you
identified.
You must incorporate at least two of the sources provided and link your claims to supporting evidence found in
those sources. You may also use the other provided sources or draw upon your own knowledge. Refer to the
provided sources as Source A, Source B, Source C, or Source D, or by the authors' names.

Source A
From "We Wear the Mask" by Paul Laurence Dunbar
1 We wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,
T his debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.
2 Why should the world be overwise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
We wear the mask.
3 We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
T o thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile

Commented [t7]: Remember, 1 source in Section II will be

a poem or a political cartoon, or paintingetc. Everything is
an argument!

Beneath our feet, and long the mile;

But let the world dream otherwise,
We wear the mask!

Source B
From "Lincoln's Gettysburg Address" (1863)
1 Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty,
and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
2 Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so
dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of
that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting
and proper that we should do this.
3 But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicatewe can not consecratewe can not hallowthis ground. T he brave
men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. T he
world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the
living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly
advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before usthat from these honored
dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotionthat we here
highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vainthat this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of
freedomand that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

Source C
From "What are the Colored People Doing for Themselves?" by Frederick Douglass (1848)
1 T he present is a time when every colored man in the land should bring this important question home to his own
heart. It is not enough to know that white men and women are nobly devoting themselves to our cause; we should
know what is being done among ourselves. T hat our white friends have done, and are still doing, a great and good
work for us, is a fact which ought to excite in us sentiments of the profoundest gratitude; but it must never be
forgotten that when they have exerted all their energies, devised every scheme, and done all they can do in
asserting our rights, proclaiming our wrongs, and rebuking our foes, their labor is lostyea, worse than lost, unless
we are found in the faithful discharge of our anti-slavery duties. If there be one evil spirit among us, for the casting
out of which we pray more earnestly than another, it is that lazy, mean and cowardly spirit that robs us of all manly
self-reliance, and teaches us to depend upon others for the accomplishment of that which we should achieve with
our own hands. Our white friends can and are rapidly removing the barriers to our improvement, which themselves
have set up; but the main work must be commenced, carried on, and concluded by our-selves. While in no
circumstances should we undervalue or fail to appreciate the self-sacrificing efforts of our friends, it should never be
lost sight of, that our destiny, for good or for evil, for time and for eternity, is, by an all-wise God, committed to us;
and that all the helps or hindrances with which we may meet on earth, can never release us from this high and
heaven-imposed responsibility. It is evident that we can be improved and elevated only just so fast and far as we
shall improve and elevate our-selves. We must rise or fall, succeed or fail, by our own merits.
2 If we are careless and unconcerned about our own rights and interests, it is not within the power of all the earth
combined to raise us from our present degraded condition.

Source D
From "The Souls of Black Folk" by W.E.B. DuBois (1903)
1 After the Egyptian and Indian, the Greek and Roman, the T euton and Mongolian, the Negro is a sort of seventh
son, born with a veil, and gifted with second-sight in this American world,a world which yields him no true selfconsciousness, but only lets him see himself through the revelation of the other world. It is a peculiar sensation, this
double-consciousness, this sense of always looking at one's self through the eyes of others, of measuring one's soul
by the tape of a world that looks on in amused contempt and pity. One ever feels his two-ness,an American, a
Negro; two souls, two thoughts, two unreconciled strivings; two warring ideals in one dark body, whose dogged
strength alone keeps it from being torn asunder.
2 T he history of the American Negro is the history of this strife,this longing to attain self-conscious manhood, to
merge his double self into a better and truer self. In this merging he wishes neither of the older selves to be lost. He
would not Africanize America, for America has too much to teach the world and Africa. He would not bleach his
Negro soul in a flood of white Americanism, for he knows that Negro blood has a message for the world. He simply
wishes to make it possible for a man to be both a Negro and an American, without being cursed and spit upon by his
fellows, without having the doors of Opportunity closed roughly in his face.
...
3 Away back in the days of bondage they thought to see in one divine event the end of all doubt and
disappointment; few men ever worshipped Freedom with half such unquestioning faith as did the American Negro
for two centuries. T o him, so far as he thought and dreamed, slavery was indeed the sum of all villainies, the cause
of all sorrow, the root of all prejudice; Emancipation was the key to a promised land of sweeter beauty than ever
stretched before the eyes of wearied Israelites. In song and exhortation swelled one refrainLiberty; in his tears
and curses the God he implored had Freedom in his right hand. At last it came,suddenly, fearfully, like a dream.
With one wild carnival of blood and passion came the message in his own plaintive cadences:
4 "Shout, O children!
Shout, you're free!
For God has bought your liberty!"
5 Years have passed away since then,ten, twenty, forty; forty years of national life, forty years of renewal and
development, and yet the swarthy spectre sits in its accustomed seat at the Nation's feast. In vain do we cry to this
our vastest social problem:
6 "T ake any shape but that, and my firm nerves
Shall never tremble!"
7 T he Nation has not yet found peace from its sins; the freedman has not yet found in freedom his promised land.
Whatever of good may have come in these years of change, the shadow of a deep disappointment rests upon the
Negro people,a disappointment all the more bitter because the unattained ideal was unbounded save by the
simple ignorance of a lowly people.

Sample Response
T he common theme among the four sources is the issue of racial inequality as it pertains to the African-American
identity and history. Source A claims that African-Americans must hide their true identity, and Source D claims that
African-Americans struggle with having two identities that cannot merge into one true self. T hough it granted
freedom in a legal sense, I believe that Emancipation fell short of granting African-Americans true freedom and
equality by doing nothing to embrace their cultural identity.

Commented [t8]: 1 st sentence explains common theme

amongst sources
Commented [t9]: Next sentence explains the main
argument in each of the 2 sources students plans to use
Commented [t10]: Intro ends with THESIS STATEMENT

Source A describes the life of a black slave. Not only were the slaves forced to work in horrid conditions and with no
pay, but they were also forced to grin and bear it. T hey had to turn their backs on their native culture, leaving them
no choice but to hold onto a few shreds of their African identity in secret: "With torn and bleeding hearts we smile, /
And mouth with myriad subtleties" (Source A). After the Emancipation, African-Americans became free from slavery,
but they were still expected to assimilate to all aspects of the white American culture. T heir bodies were freed from
the shackles, but their spirits remained trapped. T hey had been forced out of their native culture and were not
embraced by a new one. In this sense, the Emancipation only granted African-Americans a limited amount of
freedom.

Commented [t11]: All about Source #1

Source D further explains this concept, stating that freedmen and women, even decades later, still struggled with
having two identities that could not merge into one true self: " American, a Negro; two souls, two thoughts, two
unreconciled strivings; two warring ideals in one dark body" (Source D). African-Americans were only free on
paper. T hey still faced the daily struggles of living in a society that rejected them and continued to stack the odds
against them: "T he Nation has not yet found peace from its sins; the freedman has not yet found in freedom his
promised land" (Source D).

Commented [t12]: All about Source #2

T he Emancipation did very little to help African-Americans solidify their identity. It also barely changed the societal
views that blacks were unequal to whites: "He simply wishes to make it possible for a man to be both a Negro and
an American, without being cursed and spit upon by his fellows, without having the doors of Opportunity closed
roughly in his face" (Source D). It simply unlocked the slaves from their shackles and told them they were free to go.
T he African-American people and their culture were still widely rejected by the American society, and they still were
not treated as equals by their white neighbors and authority figures.
I believe the Emancipation was nothing more than words on a piece of paper meant to absolve the American
government of the unconstitutional sin of slavery. It did more to grant the government freedom from its own
abhorrent hypocrisy than it did to establish freedom and equality for African-Americans, and Sources A and D
highlight the struggle African Americans faced after getting their "freedom." T he Emancipation should have done
more to acknowledge and celebrate the cultural differences between blacks and whites. It should have done more to
educate the white American society about the advantages of accepting cultural differences, and it should have done
more to enforce equal treatment of African-Americans. For these reasons, I believe Emancipation fell short of its
goal to truly "free" African Americans from degradation.

Commented [t13]: Students ORIGINAL argument

Breakdown
T his sample response would score a perfect 24 because it meets all the rubric requirements and does so without
going off on a tangent or making any unfounded claims. It sticks to one clear idea throughout each paragraph,
supported and developed by a variety of relevant evidence from the source texts.
T he line of reasoning in the sample response is well-organized, unlike our school locker or Papa Shmoop's sock
drawer. T he five-paragraph structure is helpful in creating a response that remains clear and concise. T here are
probably a million more things that could be said about this topic, but in order to get the high score, the essay must
have a solid direction that can be communicated clearly to the reader. T his sample response uses the two required
source texts to develop an argument that the Emancipation did not succeed in granting African-Americans full racial
equality. Both source texts include passages about how African-Americans were still unable to realize or show their
true selves, and how their culture was still being silenced, despite being freed from slavery.
T he goal of creating a compelling argument isn't to cram in as many points as possibledoing so sends the essay
into a million tiny, confusing directions. Each point of in this essays line of reasoning is short, sweet, and supported
by quotes and ideas from both passages. T he response also communicates well to the reader because it's
grammatically and stylistically correct. Could we try for a humble brag here, or would it be too obvious?

Evaluation Criteria

Commented [t14]: Follow the Cheat Sheet

T o knock this essay out of the park, try channeling your inner debate team self. During a debate, arguments are
meaningless if there's no evidence to back them up. Feeling a little stuck on this section of the exam? T ry finding the
evidence first, then formulating an opinion about it. It may be easier than forming an opinion and then going back in
search of supporting evidence. Either way, scoring a perfect 24 depends on whether you can build a solid argument
supported by relevant evidence from at least two of the four sources.
T he almighty exam graders aren't looking for students to simply agree or disagree with the arguments in the four
sources. T he key here is for students to find a common theme among the sources and develop their own
perspective about that issue. Don't be afraid to tell it like it is!

Commented [t15]: BEST ADVICE EVER!