Caitlin Ray

Mrs. Pierce
AP English 4
24 April 2016
Marriage and Gender Roles
Gender and marriage roles are judged based on standards put into place by
society. Due to these social norms feminine roles are paired with a nurturing nature,
submissiveness and passivity, while masculine roles are usually paired with dominance, strength,
and aggression. These ideas are shown through characters like Elizabeth in Pride and Prejudice,
Soraya in the The Kite Runner and even Sonia in Crime and Punishment. Based on religious
beliefs, women are expected to be perfect and pure, while men are not. Women are expected to
stay home, cook, clean, and care for children, while men go to work and make money to support
the family. Times are changing and women are becoming more independent. These social
norms are evolving and women are making their own money while still caring for their families.
Gender and class expectations were based on a fixed social structure during the
Victorian era. Starting from birth, people were placed into different classes based on their family,
education, and social class. Due to repeated socialization, men and women are conditioned into
thinking they are acting normally rather than being placed into stereotypes based on their
living standards. These stereotypes are placed based on traits and behavior patterns that often
place men superior to women.
The terms sex and gender are often confused. The term sex solely means
differentiating living beings based on their reproductive organs; while the term gender refers to
social and cultural differences placed by society based on their biological sex. Many scholars

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refer to gender roles as a social concept that does not actually exist, but one that has been placed
based on social norms. Due to these social norms, children are formed to gender roles based on
their biological sex and the gender that society assigns at birth.
As we grow older, we learn how to behave based on those around us. Children
learn based on the functions and actions of those around them. Through the socialization process,
children learn roles based on their gender. This creates the term gender roles which refers to
society's idea of how men and women are expected to act. For example, female gender roles are
paired with passivity, nurturing, and submissiveness; while male gender roles are usually
associated with strength, aggression, and dominance. These gender roles follow us throughout
our entire lives and show in the workforce. Men usually outnumber women in labor intensive
jobs and engineering or political positions, while women outnumber men in caretaking positions.
In the novel Pride and Prejudice, women are viewed as products of marriage.
They have very few ways to support themselves as their only means of employment is seen as
degrading, and that is to become a governess or teacher. In the case of Elizabeth Bennet and her
sisters, who have no brothers, their fathers fortune and estate is forced to go to a very distant
and unfortunate cousin. Due to this, the girls mother, Mrs. Bennet, is constantly shown worrying
about her five daughters getting married as soon as possible. She is so concerned about them
getting married, that she does not care if they will even be happy in their marriages. She only
cares for their placement in society, and what they could get out of their marriages.
During the 18th century, gender roles began to change for women. The English
culture began to thrive on the idea of growing wealth through marriage specifically. Due to
womens financial survival being placed on the men they marry, women began to become more

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focused on courtship and marriage. This idea is specifically shown in the character Mrs. Bennet.
The marriage status of her five daughters made Mrs. Bennet constantly frantic. She was either
very happy, or in distress because one of her daughters was close to marriage, or the opportunity
was given and then taken away. Her worry was for her daughters to do well in life by marrying
someone in a wealthier, higher social class.
Due to the publication of Mary Wollstonecrafts Vindication of the Rights of
Woman in 1792, the 18th century was the start of the womens rights movement. The new idea
that women should be treated as a mans equal was forming and this idea is shown through
Elizabeth Bennet, the second oldest of the daughters. Due to Elizabeth not having any brothers,
her fathers estate was being given away to her distant cousin Mr. Collins. Mr. Collins is a poor
and low status man, who has the fortune of getting Mr. Bennets estate. When Mr. Collins comes
to visit and see his new fortune, he creates an attachment to Elizabeth, who pays no attention to
him. Mr. Collins eventually decides to ask for Elizabeths hand in marriage and is denied. She
instead showed independence and intellect in denying him because she wanted to marry out of
love and not for status or wealth. This shows how Elizabeth perfectly depicts Wollstonecrafts
ideas about gender roles.
Further, the novel Crime and Punishment is set in St. Petersburg, Russia during the mid
1800s and men are seen as superior to women. Men are often known for domestic abuse against
women, and this is seen as normalcy. Male chauvinism and sexism presents with an attitude of
superiority towards women, or behaviors that degrade females for their inferiority to the opposite
sex. In Crime and Punishment, chauvinism becomes prevalent as society's sexism takes shape
throughout the book. One particularly chauvinist character is Pyotr Luzhin, Dounia's fianc, who

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is set on marrying her simply because he will have the most profound kind of control over her as
a result of her being both female and financially dependent on him. He becomes the ultimate
image of male chauvinism in the book, mainly when he encounters strife against Raskolnikov,
who sharply contrasts his ideal of male superiority. Raskolnikov is portrayed as a sort of male
feminist in the sense that he refuses the marriage due to his despise of Luzhin's poorly veiled
motives.
In the novel, Dounia, Sonia, and Nastasya are symbols for feminism amongst their
society. Also, Razumihin is a male role who is a proponent for womens rights. In contrast,
Lizaveta magnifies the idea that women are inferior through her submissive actions. The novel
shows how strong and independent women can be by how they make sacrifices for their loved
ones. For example, Sonia becomes a prostitute in order to support her family, because her father
does not have a job. Another example is Dounia, who agrees to marry Pyotr in order to support
Raskolnikovs schooling. Then, there is Nastasya who is characterized by others around her as a
servant who works at the home of Raskolnikov. Although her very job is one of a very feminine
line of work, she by no means displays femininity. Nastasya is an opinionated woman who has
no qualms with maintaining her beliefs in the face of males who disagree with her or want to
propagate their support for patriarchy. Regardless of her being female, she is not afraid to
express disgust with or take issue in something a male (mainly, Raskolnikov) does or says.
Additionally, like Sonia and Dounia, Nastasya assumes the role of the provider when she takes
care of Raskolnikov when he is sick.
In pure contrast to those who have sacrificed for the well-being of the males in their lives,
Lizaveta serves as an example of total submission. Although her character dies before the end of

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part one, she is a very poignant element in the femininity theme. She completely submits to
Raskolnikovs attack and also is basically a slave for her step-sister. On two separate occasions,
the speaker describes her as submissive and timid and a complete slavewhowent in fear
and trembling of her sister. If this is not a thorough enough depiction of the patriarchal concept
of a woman, the author goes further and describes the girl as a soft, gentle creature, ready to put
up with anything, always willing, willing to do anything. Lizavetas every action is the essence
of a females complete submission to the notion of patriarchy.
Women all over the world, especially in Afghanistan, are found submitting to patriarchy.
Afghan women have no choice in who they marry, their fathers must agree to a proposal placed
by the father of an Afghan male. For example, in the novel The Kite Runner Soraya had no
choice in whether she wanted to marry Amir. Her father, General Taheri had to agree that Amir
was suitable for marriage. The women are usually less educated than men, and are restricted to
socializing only with other female relatives. An example of this is when Soraya and Amir speak
at the flea market. They only speak to each other when the General is not present. Although the
women have very limited independence, within the household, they have much more power and
influence in the decision making process, including finances and affairs with their children.
Maintaining a good reputation is a lifelong desire for Afghan women. If a woman's
reputation is ruined, she is no longer respected by others, and this cannot be reasserted. A
woman's reputation could be tarnished through rape, divorce, or immorality. This is not true for
men. Afghan men can redeem themselves by an honorable act or even revenge. For example,
when Amir meets Soraya he learns that she is haunted by a brief relationship she had in Virginia
while she was unmarried. Soraya even speaks of the double-standard she sees between men and

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women. The "double standard" is the fact that women are expected to be virgins, but men are
not. A man's history has no bearing, whereas, a woman's will publicly shame her and her family,
remaining with her for the entirety of their lives. Amir refuses to allow Sorayas past to interfere
with their future together. This also applies to Amir's feelings about his own shameful secret, for
which he hasn't yet shared, let alone, accepted any responsibility.
Afghan men are a perfect example of how women are given a double-standard. Men can
get away with adultery, rape, theft, and divorce, while women are viewed as dishonorable or
tarnished for any small offense. Another example is when Soraya says:
"Their sons go out to nightclubs looking for meat and getting their
girlfriends pregnant, they have kids out of wedlock and no one says a
goddamn thing. Oh they're just men having fun! I make one mistake and
suddenly everyone is talking about nang [honor] and namoos
[reputation], and I have to have my face rubbed in it for the rest of my
life."
Here, Soraya speaks of men she knows who sleep with random women they meet in the clubs,
but these men are not reprimanded for their actions. Their actions are not even spoken of, while
Sorayas follows her for the rest of her life.
These examples also further show how men have great power over women. General
Taheri controls just about everything Soraya and Jamila do outside the house. Just like in the
novel Pride and Prejudice, women are viewed to be degrading themselves if they become
teachers, as this usually causes them to be viewed as unattractive. This is why Sorayas father
wants her to become a lawyer and not a teacher, even though she is passionate about it. Jamila is
passionate about singing, and is very talented, yet the General would not allow her to sing even
one song publically at Amir and Sorayas wedding. The General takes their culture very strictly
and in doing so, he causes his marriage to be very unloving. They sleep in separate rooms and he

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is often cold towards her. This mostly shows how he believes in marrying for status or
reputation, rather than for love.
Personally, I cannot imagine marrying, spending the rest of my life, and or building a
family with someone I do not truly love. In my opinion, sex does not define your gender. There
are many gender defined roles that are not linked to ones sex. Ideologically, men were to occupy
the public sphere, paid labor and politics, while women accepted their roles in the private sphere,
taking care of the home and children. Although women can bear children, that should not restrict
their opportunities based solely on their being female. Throughout history, specifically during the
18th century, women began to question why gender roles were so ridged, why women could not
make their own money, and what made men superior and or excused them from societal
judgment. Due to these questions, they began to break out of their birth defined roles of being a
wife, mother, and caretaker, and gained their own rights outside the home.
Since the 18th century, many things have changed, specifically the values of equality
being applied to all of humanity, including women. Jobs and responsibilities should not be based
solely on sex or gender, but rather based on individual merit. Sex and gender should not
ultimately define what or who someone is. This should be decided based on ones abilities and
character content. The same ideal goes for societal judgement. Women should not be judged
more harshly for tarnish able acts than men just because they are female. If one does wrong, they
do wrong, and their consequences should not be based on their gender.
I agree with Elizabeth in Pride and Prejudice, women should not have to marry solely for
status or wealth. Women also should not have to tarnish their own reputations in order to care for
their families, like Sonia in Crime and Punishment, when men are not responsible enough to

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provide for them. Lastly, a womans reputation should not be ruined after a single reprehensible
act, like Soraya in The Kite Runner, while mens immorality is celebrated.

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Bibliography
Austen, Jane. Pride and Prejudice. New York: Modern Library, 1995. Print.
Chin-Yi, Chung. "Gender and Class Oppression in Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice."
Academia.edu. National University of Singapore, July 2013. Web. 24 Apr. 2016.
Dostoyevsky, Fyodor. Crime and Punishment. Toronto: Bantam, 1987. Print.
"Gender and Sociology - Boundless Open Textbook." Boundless. 13 Apr. 2016. Web. 24 Apr.
2016.
Holt, Jennifer. "The Ideal Woman." Csustan. Better Homes and Gardens, 1950-1951. Web. 24
Apr. 2016.
Hosseini, Khaled. The Kite Runner. New York: Riverhead, 2003. Print.
Simmons, Juliette. "The Kite Runner." : How Are Women in Afghan Culture Shown in the Kite
Runner? N.p., 4 Nov. 2012. Web. 24 Apr. 2016.