Nonverbal Communication

Reread the sections on proximity, eye contact and touch in our textbook. Visit locations
were groups of singles congregate (dances, church, the school cafeteria, etc.) and watch the nonverbal behaviors of the singles. If married folks are in the room, it might be interesting to
compare their nonverbal behaviors to those of the single people. What types of nonverbal
behaviors do you observe? Are there any differences in the nonverbal behaviors of the males
and the females? Are there singles from different cultures in the room? Do the males and
females from those cultures have any unique nonverbal behaviors? This does not have to be
done in one sitting and may involve several locations.
I visited a few various locations and observed the non-verbal, as well as the verbal
communications between people. It was eye opening because although I had been aware of nonverbal communication, I had not looked this close at it before. Most of the messages we send to
one another come from non-verbal communication (Strong & Cohen, 2014, p 230). I attended a
dance class, church, and dinner at a casual restaurant. These three locations all have different
purposes, circumstances, and levels of formality. These situations were also interesting to
compare as well as the interactions between males, females, children, adults, singles, and married
couples.
As I arrived at the dance class, the chatter in the foyer was present, but not
overwhelmingly loud. With a room full of mostly girls, the conversations consisted of mostly
what the girls had done earlier that day and any other exciting things that had happened since the
last class they had all attended. Being girls, combined with the high concentration of bodies in
the small space, the personal space bubble was smaller than normal. However, having grown up
with these girls, we are all friends and didnt mind the close proximity.
As the class before finished and we headed inside the studio, a hush fell over us. The
ballet studio is a different atmosphere from the foyer. Our teacher is kind and encouraging, but
she has an air of authority that none of us can deny. She is older, wiser, and more experienced.
Also, as students, our purpose there in the studio was not to socialize, it was to learn and improve

our abilities as a dancer. Our teacher communicated exercises to us through demonstration as

well as talking. Her corrections often came with a touch, fixing our alignment or head directions.
The communication between dancers was quiet and subtle, just a whisper or small head nod.
Dancing is unique because of the way dancers are able to communicate with the audience. They
can create energy, tell a story, and make the audience feel emotions without saying a word, and
without physically touching them. Its magical to watch and be a part of.
Church is a more formal setting and the communication was very different here than it
was in the dance studio. We dress up to go to church; this sends a message of seriousness,
respect, and formality. The families sit next to each other on the benches. This shows the more
intimate relationships between family members. The speakers and other people of higher
positions sit on the stand at the front of the room. Because they are up higher and facing the
congregation, they are given authority and the people listen to them when they speak. About
halfway through the meeting I notice one of the speakers rests his head on his hand while the
other speaker is talking. Although he probably did not mean to send this message, he was nonverbally telling us all he was tired, bored, and uninterested. The Bishop on the other hand, was
looking at the speaker intently. He would nod his head every so often and even slightly laugh at
any funny remarks the speaker had said. This message is very different from the previous one.
The Bishops non-verbal communication showed he was interested in what the speaker was
saying, agreed with him, and even thought he was funny.
Dinner at the restaurant was different from both the dance class and the church meeting.
The room was loud, full of chatter, and the atmosphere was much more casual. There were all
sorts of people eating there, perfect for observing. Sitting at the table behind me was a young
woman accompanied by a young man. I could tell they were a couple, probably on a date. I knew

this because they came in holding hand, the young man pulled out the chair for the young lady,
and after he whispered something into her ear, she giggled and blushed. Neither checked their
phones very often showing that they were genuinely interested in what each other had to say. I
noticed this because in front of me, sat a family and the teenage boy would not look up from his
phone. The mom asked him to put it away several times, and he would roll his eyes and continue
scrolling. This sent his mother the message that he did not want to be there with the family and
he had other more important things to do. The mother then gave the dad a look, as if to say,
Hello? Are you going to do anything about your son? The father just shrugged in reply. I could
tell that this exchange had happened before because both parents looked like they had given up
and left the teen alone.
These observations were interesting. I had never paid so much attention to the
interactions between the people around me. Every single person is sending their own message at
every second of every day. The way we stand, hold our posture, hold our head, place our arms,
even cross our legs, send clear messages of our feelings. Often our words do not match our nonverbal communication and the message becomes confusing and cloudy because of it. It is hard to
understand someone when their body language does not match their words.
Strong, B, & Cohen, T. F. (2014). The Marriage and Family Experience: Intimate
Relationships in a Changing Society (12th edition). Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.