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Sara McNulty
Mrs. Pettay
ENG 111 3A
6 November 2015
Annoying Kids in Youth Group
Sunday, the relaxing day of the weekend; a time for family, food and fellowship that you
may or may not be forced into. After hours of avoiding inevitable homework and tormenting
your siblings, five oclock rolls around and youth group awaits. Coming from near and far,
twenty high school students are crammed into a small room inside a church and share stories and
ideas that somehow, even if most of the time its a bit of a stretch, relate to their faith. A church
setting is unique because it draws all sorts of people from different neighborhoods and families
and brings them together with a common belief. The youth group gathers kids of the same age in
an attempt to have the younglings bond and be the best of friends. This usually works as we can
all groan about how early Sunday School is or laugh about that one old lady in the choir who is
almost always asleep during the sermon, but there are those select few who you dread seeing
every Sunday night. Whether they are obnoxiously loud or obnoxiously pretentious, some kids
can drive the most patient of people up a wall.
The least annoying of the bunch is the church mouse. You cant remember when this
person last spoke a single word. She plants herself in a corner of the least comfy couch and sits.
Just sits. The church mouse is frustrating because no matter what any youth leader or peer does,
she refuses to participate. Usually this kid is being forced to socialize by their parents, and failing
epically at it. During a feeble attempt at an ice breaker, your youth leader will pair you up with

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this temporary mute. Good luck getting her favorite bible verse or even her favorite color out of
her. With months of silence, there is that one fateful day where she will utter a few words that
blows your mind with the insight or intelligence, only for her not to speak again until she
graduates. You wish that this church mouse could have a little influence on the other irritating
few that do not know when to close their mouth.
The overtly opposed never goes a single meeting without letting every single person
know that he DOES NOT believe in anything going on in youth group. God doesnt exist, the
bible is fiction, and whatever he can say to ruffle some feathers is definitely coming out of his
mouth. Like the church mouse, he is usually forced by his parents, but unlike the church mouse
he makes this fact well known to all of the members of the youth group. During every bible
lesson, the youth leader is bombarded with countless questions about the legitimacy of the story.
No matter how many points are made against the overtly opposed, there is no swaying his
opinion. We are all gullible and he will not succumb to our weak crutch of faith. Though he is
frustrating, and you are constantly questioning his reason for attending a group based on faith
when he has zero ounces of faith in his body, he is not the only member of youth group that you
question his or her motives on attending.
The serial dater has been or will be involved with everyone in the youth group. It gets
awkward when he breaks up with one and moves on to the next, but everyone accepts it and
allows it, because really, who can resist his charms? The most annoying thing about the serial
dater is that you want to hate him because he did break your friends heart after all, but he is so
fun and cute and easy to talk to and hopefully interested not in you next. The serial dater is an
expert at getting the youth leader off on tangents about anything and everything but faith. His
participation in youth group is based solely on social reasons. Maybe he keeps showing up

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because he knows that he has most people in the youth group wrapped around their finger. Once
the serial dater makes his rounds, he usually doesnt show up again. Or at least not until that new
family joins with the cute twin girls. The serial dater needs to seriously be reminded to leave
room for the Holy Spirit. Though these relationships are annoying, the most irritating
relationship in youth group is the overzealous one with the guy were here to talk about.
The most annoying youth group member by far is the Jesus freak. Unlike the serial dater,
these people are definitely here for the faith. She is only here for Jesus. Only wants to talk about
Jesus. All she thinks about is Jesus. This could be good, but youth group is about a healthy
balance between bonding with your peers and sharing your faith. The Jesus freak tends to lack
heavily on the bonding side. She dominates the discussions, adamantly arguing with the overtly
opposed and scaring the church mouse further into her corner. She has a bible app on her phone
and is constantly asking you at school if you read your devotionals that day, when you have
never even heard the word devotional spoken in youth group. You are always trumped by her
biblical knowledge during group conversations and never want to hear the words Well
actually ever again. The Jesus freak wears the cross on her clothes even after it faded out of
style. Bible verses line her binders and walls at home because this trait most definitely runs in the
family.
People of all types gather in the youth group and some are not particularly pleasant to be
around. They could creep quietly, argue indefinitely, praise dating as their main religion, or know
every verse in the bible that could ever inspire you. The mix is unique and somehow blends
together in harmonious fashion. If being forced to bond at your local church is something that
you are interested in, beware of these types. Some may blend in easier, but all youth groups have

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them. Even though they drive you crazy, take some advice from the man upstairs and love thy
neighbor. Good luck and remember, patience is a coveted virtue of the Holy Spirt.