Nava 1

Hector Nava
Zack De Piero
Writing 2
Psychopaths 101: Ways to Identify Them
When you hear the word psychopath you probably think about an adult, someone who

Commented [1]: Nice! I think I might be friends with

some of these people.
Seriously, though, this sounds super-interesting.

you would classify as a dangerous, emotionless, secluded person who is likely to do harm onto
others. But would you also think about children, young children like ages 8 maybe even
younger? Probably not, but psychopathy is a very controversial topic, especially when it comes

Commented [2]: Great start.

to claiming that children can be classified as psychopaths. There are many known links between

I'd like you to find a way to work more punctuation in

this phrase.

psychopathic tendencies and brain receptors, abuse or maltreatment, and even genetics that can

Commented [3]: Is this a term/word?

be considered as early indicators of psychopathy. Because of such links, there are many different
ways to approach the study of what could be early indicators of psychopathy. A few such
approaches could be from the view of chemist, psychologist, or even an everyday person.
The three different article used here to identify the differences were from a psychological
point by Kolla, chemistry/neuroscientist view by Dadds, and a journalist look by Kahn. Kolla
focus on how maltreatment/abuse of children could be linked to psychopathy; Dadds looks into
how oxytocin levels could be a key identifier in psychopathic tendencies, and Kahn writes about
her interactions with a child who be called a psychopath and how it could be due to his genes.

Commented [4]: Your intro flows/build very nicely,

Hector. However, you haven't really established a
substantive argument here -- or what you're basing that
argument on.
They're different, OK... how so? And so what?

The first article, Childhood Maltreatment and Aggressive Behaviour in Violent Offenders
With Psychopathy, by Kolla is a straightforward article regarding connection between
maltreatment and psychopathy. Kollas article is very short and direct article; it spends little time

Commented [5]: Take a look at this topic sentence

and ask yourself: OK, what is this *doing* for your
argument? Right now, you've told me that's
"straightforward" -- how/why is this relevant to your
argument?
Commented [6]: Also, it's not clear which discipline
this is coming from.

Nava 2

explaining every little detail and instead present only the main parts of the research. Kollas main
point and question is to identify if there is any connection between childhood maltreatment and
future psychopathic outcomes to said maltreated children. To answer this question, Kolla uses a,
sample included 10 violent offenders with ASPD+P, 15 violent offenders with ASPD-P, and

Commented [7]: From here, above, in this paragraph,

I think you could get the same info across in 1
sentence, 2 lines, tops.

15 non-offenders, (487). From the analysis of these people, Kolla attained the necessary first

Commented [8]: What's all this mean?

hand experiences needed to prove her point. Based on this it is clear that Kollas targeted

Commented [9]: What do you mean by 1sthand

experiences? And what's her point?

audience would be other researchers who are trying to identify if there is a much stronger
correlation between childhood maltreatment and future psychopathic tendencies.
Kollas article really has many of the typical conventions found in research articles, but
upon taking a closer view, one can notice the main differences between how Kolla presents the
information and how most other research articles present their information. The first distinction
between Kollas article is by her usage of the move called boxes. The boxes are used throughout
the article to present little pieces of information that are important to understand the article,

Commented [10]: OK, this is clear -- you're analyzing

how Kolla *presents* his/her info, but....
So what? What does this have to do with the larger
point that you're trying to make herE? How's it relate
back to your argument?

giving the reader some space to breath and not be engulfed by all the information. Another

Commented [11]: Is the move called "boxes" or does

she use "boxes"? I feel like you're using this word in
two different (confusing) ways here.

noticeable move done by Kolla is the 1, 2, 3, etc. In this move Kolla present her main points in

Commented [12]: How so?

four short paragraphsgiving the researchs objective, her methods, the datas results, and her

Commented [13]: (So if I just put boxes around my

dissertation or something, it'll be better? What are you
trying to say here?)

conclusion. Having these moves such as these are what would help distinguish Kollas article
from other similar articles.
In the second article, Methylation of the oxytocin receptor gene and oxytocin blood levels
in the development of psychopathy (MORGDP), Dadds questions how low levels of oxytocin
could be an important determinant in how children could become psychopathic. In this article,
Dadd leaves nothing unaddressed; he includes a lot of information and psychological,

Nava 3

neuroscience, and chemical jargon is used to facilitate clear and precise communication...
(Boyd, 89). Dadd based his article on his study on the methylation levels of OXT R in 4- to 16-

Commented [14]: Nice use of the readings here, but...

"clear and precise communication" for whom?

year-old males who met DSM criteria for a diagnosis of oppositionaldefiant or conduct disorder
and were stratified by CU traits and age (33). Based on these two facts Dadd is clearly
presenting this article to other researchers.
Dadds article also contains all the general conventions that research articles tend to have,
but like Kolla, Dadd too includes his own take on research articles. To begin his article, Dadd

Commented [15]: OK, so how does Dadd's research

design differ from the other researcher's?
Tell me more! What question(s) did other disciplinary
researcher(s) ask? How do these questions provide
insight into how they see the world and what they
value? How does it shed light on how this topic is
studied and understood?
Commented [16]: What do you mean by this?

has an abstract in which he presents a couple of sentences giving the reader some background
knowledge on the topic. This move is called the brief because of the amount of information
giving in it and how it introduces the reader to what they can expect to read. Following this Dadd
goes to give the introduction, followed by the customary methods, results, discussions. In his
article Dadd includes the 2-in-1. This move represent how Dadd chose to put his data along-side
his text, as shown on pages 36 and 37. This is meant to demonstrate how the data is not too

Commented [17]: OK, sure, but... why is this

important? Why are you telling me about this "brief"
move in your WP2?
Commented [18]: Also: is it worth defining/describing
what you mean by "moves"?
Commented [19]: What data? If you dig into this
further, could this raise the stakes of an argument you
could make?

important when compared to the actual analysis/interpretation of it. By going into so much depth,
Dadd article would stands out demonstrating what a research article should be like.
Continuing, the third article, Can You Call a 9-Year-Old a Psychopath?, written by
Kahn, recounts the time Kahn spent with Michaelthe 9-year-old psychopath. To begin, Kahn
is writer for The New York Times Magazine. Kahns article is not a scholarly one and this is clear
as she uses the researcher Dan Waschbusch whenever she is trying to analyze Michaels behavior.
This is move called the Whats up Doc?, because Kahn cant make her own analysis of Michael
because she does not have the right credentials to be assessing people. Being written on a
popular news magazine and having the title it does, this article is clearly meant be addressed to

Commented [20]: Also: any reason why you chose to

do the 2 scholarly sources (and their similarities) FIRST
and then this non-academic text AFTER? I don't know
the answer to this, but could switching them enhance
your paper at all?
Commented [21]: Put another way, Hector, Im
wondering if your paper would benefit from restructuring the organization. Instead of
-Source #1
-Source #2
-Source #3
Could your paper/argument unfold a more
integrated/interwoven way if you did something like:
-Idea #1 (and then incorporate sources 1, 2, 3)
-Idea #2 (and then incorporate sources 1, 2, 3)
-Idea #3 (and then incorporate sources 1, 2, 3)?

Nava 4

parents who have very troubling children that might show signs of conduct problems and
callous-unemotional (lack of empathy). Here is another move used by Kahn called the I know
what Im talking about. This move is characterized by the usage of some jargon from the
psychological department, which makes the article sound more scholarly than what it really is.

Commented [22]: OK, but ... so what? How's this

come back to your larger point(s)?

Since Kahns article is not a scholarly one, it is part of a completely different genre
giving it a different structure. Kahn present her article more like a story recounting her time
spent with Michael. The article is meant to address the question presented in the articles name,
but Kahn does not give a clear answer to her question. This is a big flaw in her part because it
leaves the reader wondering the answer, only being able to assume that the answer is yes because
of all the information she gave regarding how Michael never changed and only got worse as time
went on. Kahn also includes quotes from other neighbors, teachers, and others who know
Michael, which are just meant to prove that Michael is a troublesome child. Overall Kahns
article is just a story about the young Michael and Waschbusch views of children being
psychopaths. Kahns might be considered decent with normal people, but when being read by a
researcher it would be seen as inadequate because of the information given.
When put side to side, the two scholarly articles by Kolla and Dadd have the same exact
structure. Their articles are both organized into four different sections: the introduction, methods,
results, and discussion. Their articles also include jargon, but the difference is that one only uses
psychological terms (Kolla), while the other uses chemistry, neuroscience, and psychological
terms (Dadd). They also present them in different ways. Kolla present her jargon in text-boxes,
while Dadd present them in-text. The jargon and the way it is present affects how reading is
done, and how attitude of the articles tooDadds article seems like its from higher caliber of

Commented [23]: This is potentially huge -- so what

does this DO? How does this impact how we, as
readers/researchers/whoever, come to understand the
topic of psychopathology?

Nava 5

writer, while Kolla seems to have just wanted to present the information and make it as concise
as possible. One similar connection between the two of them was how they identified if a subject
could be considered psychopathic. They both did this by giving them test and then, with the

Commented [24]: What test?

DSM V criteria, put them into categories with or without psychopathic tendencies. The use of

Commented [25]: Can you explain what this means?

this operational definition is very effective because it gives little space for the audience to
disagree with their methods since the test have been analyzed by many researchers around the
world.
Even though Kahns article is not a scholarly one it still shares some similar aspects to
the scholarly ones. One such similarity could be the referencing to someone who knows more
than she does. Dadd and Kolla frequently include information from other sources, such as the
Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), or other studies. The inclusion of
such sources provides each piece of writing with ethos because the reader know that the sources
of information are reliable and have been analyzed by many other experts in their respective
areas. Another obvious similarity between the three article would be the use of both ethos and
logos, which function as, artistic appeals, according to Aristotle (Carroll, 58). These artistic
appeals contribute to the attraction of their respective audiences possibly due to the inclusion of
certain people or information. Even while coming from three different perspectives, they all
manage to address the same topic with valuable information.
Although all three articles address the topic of psychopathy in children, they do differ in
how they present the information. As said before the two scholarly articles do have a solid
structure divided into four sections, but Kahns article is very different. Kahns article goes with
an approach by introducing the main child at focus and then giving information about his

Commented [26]: Yes, ethos is pretty huge -- how

does this fit in with all the other ideas you introduced?

Nava 6

character. After this she goes on to give descriptions of the boy through the views of other people
and finally she ends with a quote, which never address the question at hand, can you call a 9year-old a psychopath. Unlike Kahn, the other two articles to answer their respective questions,
and even go onto analyze their methods used and how they could possibly be improved by others
who plan on doing research in a similar topic. An even bigger difference between the two
scholarly articles and Kahns article is the way the data for each was gathered. Dadd and Kolla
both had to set-up a projects and analyze their data for patterns. Kahn on the other hand only
obtained her data by asking questions to other peoplenot people who are able to give
adequate analysis of a personregarding Michael and referring to only expert.
The one benefit Kahn has over the two scholarly articles is that she can use the element
of pathos in her writing. She incorporates pathos in her article my including text such as, She
recalled one argument, over a homework assignment, when Michael shrieked and wept as she
tried to reason with him. I said: Michael, remember the brainstorming we did yesterday? All
you have to do is take your thoughts from that and turn them into sentences, and youre done!
Hes still screaming bloody murder, so I say, Michael, I thought we brainstormed so we could
avoid all this drama today. He stopped dead, in the middle of the screaming, turned to me and
said in this flat, adult voice, Well, you didnt think that through very clearly then, did you?
(Kahn). Having such writing makes the reader feel sad for the parents and be more interested in
her article, while the Dadd and Kolla have to rely solely on the importance of what their research
could possible do to their respective fields.
Even though the three articles may be presenting something on the same topic, they will
all have their own little differences. In this case the topic was: how to possibly identify

Nava 7

psychopathy in children, and the three different articles had three different point of viewsa
psychology view, chemistry, neurology, and psychology view, and a journalist view. They each
presented their information in different ways with little changes that made them standout out and
made their presentation either more or less effective.

Works Cited
Boyd, Janet. Murder! (Rhetorically Speaking). Parlor Press, 2011, Print.

Nava 8

Carroll, Laura. Backpacks vs. Briefcases: Steps toward Rhetorical Analysis. Parlor
Press, 2010. Print
DADDS, MARK R., et al. "Methylation Of The Oxytocin Receptor Gene And Oxytocin
Blood Levels In The Development Of Psychopathy." Development & Psychopathology 26.1
(2014): 33-40. Academic Search Complete. Web. 9 May 2016.
Kolla, Nathan J., et al. "Childhood Maltreatment And Aggressive Behaviour In Violent
Offenders With Psychopathy." Canadian Journal Of Psychiatry58.8 (2013): 487-494. Academic
Search Complete. Web. 9 May 2016.
Kahn, Jennifer. "Can You Call a 9-Year-Old a Psychopath?" The New York Times. The
New York Times, 12 May 2012. Web. 09 May 2016.
<http://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/13/magazine/can-you-call-a-9-year-old-apsychopath.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1>.

Nava 9

Writing 2 Feedback Matrix for WP2

Table of Textual Features and Qualities

Did Not Meet
Expectations
Thesis Statement
Use of Textual Evidence from
Genres
Use of Course Readings
Analysis
Organization/Structure
Attention to Genre/Conventions
and Rhetorical Factors
Attention to Moves
Exploration of Disciplinarity
Sentence-level Clarity, Mechanics,
Flow
Comments and Grade

Met
Expectation
s

Exceeded
Expectations

X
X
XX
X
XX
X
X
Hector,
Check out my comments on some ways you can
improve this for the portfolio. I think that my
last question is my biggest one: you brought in a
lot of info here, but how does it (or does it) fit
together? Whats your main argument, and why
does it matter?
Also, Id like you to get a lot more specific the
different points that you make. Those are my two
main pieces of advice.
You can do it!
Z
7.5/10