October 04, 2004 Issue

The Dressmakers Child

BY WILLIAM TREVOR

CahalsprayedWD40ontotheonlybolthisspannerwouldntshift.All
theothershadcomeouteasilyenoughbutthisonewasrustedin,the
exhaustunittrailingfromit.Hehadtriedtohammeritout,hehadtried
wrenchingtheexhaustunitthiswayandthatinthehopethatsomething
wouldgive,butnothinghad.Halffive,hedtoldHeslin,andthebloody
carwouldntbeready.
Thelightsofthegaragewerealwayson,becauseshelveshadbeenputup
infrontofthewindowsthatstretchedacrossthelengthofthewallatthe
back.Abandonedcars,keptfortheirparts,andcarsandmotorcycles
waitingforspares,andjacksthatcouldbewheeledabouttookupwhat
spacetherewasoneithersideofthesmallwoodenoffice,whichwasat
thebackalso.Therewereracksoftools,andworkbencheswithvises
alongthebackwall,androwsofnewandreconditionedtires,anddrums
ofgreaseandoil.Inthemiddleofthegaragethereweretwopits,inone
ofwhichCahalsfatherwasatthemoment,puttinginaclutch.There
wasaradio,onwhichadvicewasbeinggivenaboutlookingafterfishin
anaquarium.Willyouturnthatstuffoff?Cahalsfathershoutedfrom
underthecarhewasworkingon,andCahalsearchedthewavebands
untilhefoundmusicofhisfatherstime.
Hewasanonlysoninafamilyofgirls,allofthemolder,allofthem
gonefromthetownthreetoEngland,anotherinDunnesinGalway,
anothermarriedinNebraska.ThegaragewaswhatCahalknew,having
kepthisfathercompanytheresincechildhood,givenoddjobstodoashe

grewup.Hisfatherhadhadhelpthen,anoldmanwhowasrelatedtothe
family,whoseplaceCahaleventuallytook.
HetriedtheboltagainbuttheWD40hadntbeguntoworkyet.Hewas
alean,almostscrawnyyouth,darkhaired,hislongfaceusually
unsmiling.Hisgarageoveralls,overayellowTshirt,wereoilstained,
gonepalewheretheirgreendyehadbeenwashedoutofthem.Hewas
nineteenyearsold.
Hullo,avoicesaid.Amanandawoman,strangers,stoodinthewide
opendoorwayofthegarage.
Howya,Cahalsaid.
Itsthepossibility,sir,themaninquired,youdriveustothesacred
Virgin?
Sorry?AndCahalsfathershoutedupfromthepit,wantingtoknow
whowasthere.WhichVirginsthat?Cahalasked.
Thetwolookedatoneanother,notattemptingtoanswer,andthenit
occurredtoCahalthattheywereforeignpeople,whohadnot
understood.AyearagoaGermanhaddrivenhisVolkswagenintothe
garage,withanoiseintheengine,sohedsaid.Ihadhopesitdbethe
bigend,Cahalsfatheradmittedafterward,butitwasonlythecatchof
thebonnetgoneabitloose.AcouplefromAmericahadhadatireputon
theirhiredcarafewweeksafterthat,buttheredbeennothingsince.
OfPouldearg,thewomansaid.Isithowtosayit?

Thestatueyoureafter?
Theynoddeduncertainlyandthenwithmoreconfidence,bothofthemat
thesametime.
Arentyoudriving,yourselves,though?Cahalaskedthem.
Wehavenocar,themansaid.
Wearetravelledfromvila.Thewomansblackhairwassilky,drawn
backandtiedwitharedandblueribbon.Hereyeswerebrown,herteeth
verywhite,herskinolive.Sheworetheuntidyclothesofatraveller:
denimtrousers,awoollenjacketoverastripedredblouse.Themans
trouserswerethesame,hisshirtanondescriptshadeofgrayishblue,a
whitekerchiefathisneck.Afewyearsolderthanhimself,Cahal
estimatedtheydbe.
vila?hesaid.
Spain,themansaid.
AgainCahalsfathercalledout,andCahalsaidtwoSpanishpeoplehad
comeintothegarage.
Inthestore,themanexplained.TheysayyoudriveustotheVirgin.
Aretheybrokendown?Cahalsfathershouted.

Hecouldchargethemfiftyeuros,Pouldeargthereandback,Cahal
considered.HedmissGermanyversusHollandonthetelevision,maybe
thebestmatchoftheCup,butnevermindthatforfiftyeuros.
Theonlything,hesaid,Ihaveanexhausttoputin.
HepointedatthepipeandsilencerhangingoutofHeslinsoldVauxhall,
andtheyunderstood.Hegesturedwithhishandsthattheyshouldstay
wheretheywereforaminute,andwithhispalmsheldflatmadea
pushingmotionintheair,indicatingthattheyshouldignoretheagitation
thatwascomingfromthepit.Bothofthemwereamused.WhenCahal
triedtheboltagainitbegantoturn.
Hemadethethumbsupsignwhenexhaustandsilencerclatteredtothe
ground.Icouldtakeyouataroundseven,hesaid,goingclosetowhere
theSpaniardsstood,keepinghisvoicelowsothathisfatherwouldnot
hear.Heledthemtotheforecourtandmadethearrangementwhilehe
filledthetankofaMurphysStoutlorry.
WhenCahalsfatherhaddrivenamileoutontheBantryRoad,heturned
attheentrancetothestudfarmanddrovebacktothegarage,satisfied
thattheclutchhedputinforFatherSheawascorrectlyadjusted.Heleft
thecarintheforecourt,readyforFatherSheatocollect,andhungthe
keysupintheoffice.Heslinfromthecourthousewaswritingacheckfor
theexhaustCahalhadfitted.Cahalwasgettingoutofhisoveralls,and
whenHeslinhadgonehesaidthepeoplewhohadcomewantedhimto
drivethemtoPouldearg.TheywereSpanishpeople,Cahalsaidagain,in
casehisfatherhadntheardwhenhedsuppliedthatinformationbefore.
WhattheywantwithPouldearg?

Nothing,onlythestatue.
Theresnoonegoestothestatuethesetimes.
Itswheretheyreheaded.
Didyoutellthem,though,howthethingwas?
Idid,ofcourse.
Whytheydbegoingoutthere?
Therespeopletakesphotographsofit.
Thirteenyearsago,thethenbishopandtwoparishpriestshadputanend
tothecultofthewaysidestatueatPouldearg.Noneofthosethreemen,
andnopriestornunwhohadevervisitedthecrossroadsatPouldearg,
hadsensedanythingspecialaboutthestatue;nonehadwitnessedthe
tearsthatweresaidtoslipoutofthedowncasteyeswhenpardonforsins
wasbeseechedbypenitents.Thestatuebecamethesubjectofattentionin
pulpitsandinreligiouspublications,theclaimsmadeforitfulminated
againstasafoolishness.Andthenacurateofthattimedemonstratedthat
whathadbeennoticedbytwoorthreelocalpeoplewhoregularlypassed
bythestatueacertaindampnessbeneaththeeyeswasnomorethan
raindropstrappedintwooverdefinedhollows.Therethematterended.
Thosewhohadsocertainlybelievedinwhattheyhadneveractually
seen,thosewhohadnotnoticedthedrenchedleavesofoverhanging
boughshighabovethestatue,feltasfoolishastheirspiritualmastershad
predictedtheyonedaywould.AlmostovernighttheWeepingVirginof

Pouldeargbecameagainthepaintedimageithadalwaysbeen.OurLady
oftheWayside,ithadbeencalledforawhile.
Ineverheardpeopleweretakingphotographsofit.Cahalsfather
shookhisheadasifhedoubtedhisson,whichheoftendidandusually
withreason.
Afellowwaswritingabookawhileback.GoingaroundallIreland,
trackingdowntheweepingstatues.
ItwasnomorethantherainatPouldearg.
Hedhaveputthatinthebook.Thatmanwouldhaveputthewhole
thingdown,howyoudfindthestatuesallovertheplaceandsomeof
themwouldbeO.K.andsomeofthemwouldnt.
AndyousettheSpaniardsrightaboutPouldearg?
Idid,ofcourse.
DrainthejuiceoutofyoungLeahysbikeandwellweldhisleakfor
him.
ThesuspicionsofCahalsfatherwerejustified:thetruthhadnomore
thanslightlyplayedapartinwhatCahalhadtoldtheSpanishcouple
aboutPouldearg.Withfiftyeurosatthebackofhismind,hewouldhave
considereditafailureofhisintelligencehadheallowedhimselftoreveal
thatthemiracleonceclaimedforthestatueatPouldeargwaswithout
foundation.TheyhadheardthestatuecalledOurLadyofTearsaswell
asOurLadyoftheWaysideandtheSacredVirginofPouldeargbya

maninaDublinpublichousewithwhomtheyhaddriftedinto
conversation.TheydhadtorepeatthisacoupleoftimesbeforeCahal
graspedwhattheyweresaying,buthethoughthegotitrightintheend.
Itwouldntbehardtostretchthejourneybyfourorfivemiles,andif
theyweremisledbythenamestheydheardthestatuegiveninDublinit
wasnoconcernofhis.Atfivepastseven,whenhedhadhisteaandhad
hadalookatthetelevision,hedroveintotheyardofMaceysHotel.He
waitedthereashedsaidhewould.Theyappearedalmostatonce.
Theysatclosetogetherintheback.Beforehestartedtheengineagain
Cahaltoldthemwhatthecostwouldbeandtheysaidthatwasallright.
Hedrovethroughthetown,gonequietasitinvariablydidatthistime.
Someoftheshopswerestillopenandwouldremainsoforafewmore
hoursthenewsagentsandtobacconists,thesweetshopsandsmall
groceries,Quinlanssupermarket,allthepublichousesbuttherewasa
lullonthestreets.
Areyouonholiday?Cahalasked.
Hecouldntmakemuchoftheirreply.Bothofthemspoke,correcting
oneanother.Afteralotofrepetitiontheyseemedtobetellinghimthat
theyweregettingmarried.
Well,thatsgrand,hesaid.
HeturnedoutontotheLoyeRoad.Spanishwasspokeninthebackofthe
car.Theradiowasntworkingorhedhaveputitonforcompany.The
carwasablackFordCortinawithahundredandeightythousandmiles
ontheclock;hisfatherhadtakenitinpartexchange.Theyduseituntil
thetaxstickerexpiredandthenputitasideforspares.Cahalthoughtof

tellingthepassengersthatincasetheydthinkhehadntmuchtosay
forhimself,butheknewitwouldbetoodifficult.TheChristian
Brothershadhadhimlabelledasnothavingmuchtosayforhimself,
andithadstuckinhismemory,worryinghimsometimesincaseit
causedpeopletobelievehewasslow.Wheneverhecould,Cahal
triedtogivethelietothatbymakingacomment.
Areyouherelong?heinquired,andthegirlsaidtheydbeentwo
daysinDublin.HesaidhedbeeninDublinhimselfafewtimes.He
saiditwasmountainyfromnowon,untiltheyreachedPouldearg.
Thescenerywasbeautiful,thegirlsaid.
Hetooktheforkatthetwodeadtrees,althoughgoingstraightwould
havegotthemthere,too,longerstillbutpotholesallovertheplace.
Itwasagoodcarforthehills,themansaid,andCahalsaiditwasa
Ford,pleasedthathedunderstood.Youdgetusedtoit,he
considered,withabitmorepracticingyoudpickupthetrickof
understandingthem.
HowdyousayitinSpanish?hecalledbackoverhisshoulder.A
statue?
Estatua,theybothsaid,together.Estatua,theysaid.
Estatua,Cahalrepeated,changinggearsforthehillatLoye.
Thegirlclappedherhands,andhecouldseehersmilinginthe
rearviewmirror.God,awomanlikethat,hethought.Givemea
womanlikethat,hesaidtohimself,andheimaginedhewasinthecar

alonewithher,thatthemanwasntthere,thathehadntcometo
Irelandwithher,thathedidntexist.
DoyouhearaboutSt.Teresaofvila?Doyouhearaboutherin
Ireland?Herlipsopenedandclosedintherearviewmirror,herteeth
flashing,thetipofhertonguethereforamoment.Whatshedasked
himwasasclearasanyonewouldsayit.
Wedo,ofcourse,hesaid,confusingSt.TeresaofvilawiththeSt.
Teresawhodbeenfamousforherhumilityandherattentiontolittle
things.Grand,Cahalsaidofheralso.Grandaltogether.
Tohisdisappointment,Spanishwasspokenagain.Hewasgoingwith
MinnieFennelly,but,nodoubtaboutit,thiswomanhadthebetterof
her.Thetwofacesappearedsidebysideinhismindseyeandthere
wasntacompetition.Hedrovepastthecottagesbeyondthebridge,the
roadtwistingandturningallovertheplaceafterthat.Itsaidearlieron
theradiotheredbeshowersbuttherewasntatraceofone,the
Octobereveningwithoutabreeze,duskbeginning.
Notmorethanamile,hesaid,notturninghishead,buttheSpanish
wasstillgoingon.Iftheywereplanningtotakephotographsthey
mightntbeluckybythetimetheygotthere.Withthetrees,Pouldearg
wasadarkplaceatthebestoftimes.HewonderediftheGermanshad
scoredyet.HedhaveputmoneyontheGermansifhedhadanyto
spare.
Beforetheyreachedtheirdestination,Cahaldrewthecarontothe
vergewhereitwaswideandlookeddry.Hecouldtellfromthesteering
thattherewastroubleandfounditintheleftfrontwheel,thetire

leakingatthevalve.Fiveorsixpoundsitwouldhavelost,he
estimated.
Itwonttakemeaminute,hereassuredhispassengers,rummaging
behindwheretheysat,amongoldnewspapersandtoolsandempty
painttins,forthepump.Hethoughtforamomentitmightntbethere
andwonderedwhatheddoifthesparetirewasflat,whichsometimes
itwasifacarwasatradein.Butthepumpwasthereandhegavethe
partiallydeflatedtireacoupleofextrapoundstokeepitgoing.Hed
seehowthingswerewhentheyreachedPouldeargcrossroads.
Whentheydid,therewasntenoughlightforaphotograph,butthe
manandwomanwentupclosetotheWaysideVirgin,whichwasmore
lopsidedthanCahalrememberedfromthelasttimeheddrivenbyit,
hardlylongerthanayearago.Thetirehadlosttheextrapressurehed
pumpedin,andwhiletheywereoccupiedhebegantochangethe
wheel,havingdiscoveredthatthesparetirewasntflat.Allthetimehe
couldhearthemtalkinginSpanish,althoughtheirvoiceswerent
raised.Whentheyreturnedtothecaritwasstilljackedupandthey
hadtowaitforawhile,standingontheroadbesidehim,butthey
didntappeartomind.
Hedstillcatchmostofthesecondhalf,Cahalsaidtohimselfwhen
eventuallyheturnedthecararoundandbeganthejourneyback.You
neverknewhowyouwereplacedasregardshowlongyoudbe,how
longyoudhavetowaitforpeoplewhiletheypokedabout.
Wassheallrightforyou?heaskedthem,turningontheheadlights
sothatthepotholeswouldshowup.

TheyansweredinSpanish,asiftheyhadforgottenthatitwouldntbe
anygood.Shedfallenoverabitmore,hesaid,buttheydidnt
understand.Theybroughtupthemantheydmetinthepublichouse
inDublin.Theykeptrepeatingsomething,agabbleofEnglishwords
thatstillappearedtobeaboutgettingmarried.Intheend,itseemedto
Cahalthatthismanhadtoldthempeoplereceivedamarriageblessing
whentheycametoPouldeargaspenitents.
Didyoubuyhimdrinks?heasked,butthatwasntunderstood,
either.
Theydidntmeetanothercar,norevenabicycle,untiltheywere
fartherdown.Hedbeenluckyoverthetire:theycouldeasilyhavesaid
theywouldntpayifhedhadthemstrandedallnightinthehills.They
werenttalkinganymore;whenhelookedinthemirrortheywere
kissing,nomorethanshadowsinthegloom,armsaroundone
another.
Itwasthen,justaftertheydpassedthedeadtrees,thatthechildran
out.Shecameoutofthebluecottageandranatthecar.Hedheardof
itbefore,thechildonthisroadwhoranoutatcars.Ithadnever
happenedtohimself,hedneverevenseenachildthereanytimehed
passed,butoftenitwasmentioned.Hefeltthethudnomorethana
secondaftertheheadlightspickedoutthewhitedressbythewalland
thenthesuddenmovementofthechildrunningout.
Cahaldidntstop.Inhismirrortheroadhadgonedark.Hesaw
somethingwhitelyingtherebutsaidtohimselfhehadimaginedit.In
thebackoftheCortinatheembracecontinued.

SweathadbrokenoutonthepalmsofCahalshands,onhisbackand
hisforehead.Shedthrownherselfatthesideofthecarandhisown
doorwaswhatshedmadecontactwith.Hermotherwasthe
unmarriedwomanofthatcottage,manythetimehedheardthatsaid
inthegarage.FitzieGillhadshownhimdamagetohiswingandsaid
thechildmusthavehadastoneinherhand.Butusuallytherewasnt
anydamage,andnoonehadevermentioneddamagetothechild
herself.
Bungalowsannouncedthetown,allofthemlitupnow.TheSpanish
beganagain,andhewasaskedifhecouldtellthemwhattimethebus
wenttoGalway.Therewasconfusionbecausehethoughttheymeant
tonight,butthenheunderstooditwasthemorning.Hetoldthem,and
whentheypaidhiminMaceysyardthemanhandedhimapenciland
anotebook.Hedidntknowwhatthatwasfor,buttheyshowedhim,
makinggestures,andhewrotedownthetimeofthebus.Theyshook
handswithhimbeforetheywentintothehotel.
Intheveryearlymorning,justafterhalfpastone,Cahalwokeupand
couldntsleepagain.Hetriedtorecallwhathedseenofthefootball,
themovestheredbeen,thesaves,theyellowcardshowntwice.But
nothingseemedquiteright,asifthetelevisionpicturesandsnatchesof
thecommentaryhadcomefromadream,whichheknewtheyhadnt.
Hehadexaminedthesideofthecarinthegarageandtheredbeen
nothing.Hehadswitchedoutthelightsofthegarageandlockedup.
HedwatchedthefootballinShannonsandhadntseentheend
becausehelostinterestwhennothingmuchwashappening.Heshould
havestopped;hedidntknowwhyhehadnt.Hecouldntremember
braking.Hedidntknowifhedtriedto,hedidntknowiftherehadnt
beentime.

TheFordCortinahadbeenseensettingoutontheLoyeRoadand
thenreturning.Hisfatherknewthewayhedgone,pasttheunmarried
womanscottage.TheSpaniardswouldhavesaidinthehoteltheyd
seentheVirgin.Theydhavesaidinthehoteltheyweregoingonto
Galway.TheycouldbefoundinGalwayforquestioning.
InthedarkCahaltriedtoworkitout.Theywouldhaveheardthe
bump.Theywouldnthaveknownwhatitwas,buttheydhaveheardit
whiletheywerekissing.Theywouldrememberhowmuchlongeritwas
beforetheygotoutofthecarinMaceysyard.Ithadntbeenawhite
dress,Cahalrealizedsuddenly;ittrailedontheground,toolongfora
dress,morelikeanightdress.
Hedseenthewomanwholivedthereafewtimeswhenshecameinto
theshops,adressmakertheysaidshewas,smallandwirywithdark
inquisitiveeyesandatwistinherfeaturesthatmadethemless
appealingthantheymighthavebeen.Whenherchildhadbeenbornto
her,thefatherhadnotbeenknownnoteventoherself,soitwassaid,
thoughpossiblywithoutjustification.Peoplesaidshedidntspeak
aboutthebirthofherchild.
AsCahallayinthedarkness,heresistedthecompulsiontogetupin
ordertogobackandseeforhimself;towalkouttothebluecottage,
sincetodrivewouldbefoolish;tolookontheroadforwhatevermight
bethere,hedidntknowwhat.OftenheandMinnieFennellygotupin
themiddleofthenightinordertomeetinthebackshedatherhouse.
Theylayonastackofnettingthere,whisperingandpettingone
another,thewaytheycouldntanywhereinthedaytime.Thebestthey
couldmanageinthedaytimewashalfanhourintheFordCortinaout
inthecountrysomewhere.Theycouldspendhalfthenightintheshed.

Hecalculatedhowlongitwouldtakehimtowalkouttowherethe
incidenthadoccurred.Hewantedto;hewantedtogetthereandsee
nothingontheroadandtoclosehiseyesinrelief.Sometimesdawn
hadcomebythetimehepartedfromMinnieFennelly,andhe
imaginedthat,too,thelightbeginningashewalkedinfromthe
countryfeelingallrightagain.Butmorelikelyhewouldntbe.
Onedaythatkidllbekilled,heheardFitzieGillsaying,and
someoneelsesaidthewomanwasntuptolookingafterthekid.The
childwasleftaloneinthehouse,peoplesaid,evenforanightwhile
thewomandrankbyherselfinLeahys,lookingaroundforamanto
keephercompany.
Thatnight,Cahaldidntgetbacktosleep.Andallthenextdayhe
waitedforsomeonetowalkintothegarageandsaywhathadbeen
found.Butnoonedid,andnoonedidthenextday,either,ortheday
afterthat.TheSpaniardswouldhavegoneonfromGalwaybynow,
thememoriesofpeoplewhohadmaybenoticedtheFordCortina
wouldbegettingshaky.AndCahalcountedthedriverswhoheknew
forafacthadexperiencedsimilarincidentswiththechildandsaidto
himselfthatmaybe,afterall,hedbeenfortunate.Evenso,itwouldbe
alongtimebeforehedrovepastthatcottageagain,ifeverhedid.
Thensomethinghappenedthatchangedallthat.SittingwithMinnie
FennellyintheCyberCafoneevening,MinnieFennellysaid,Dont
look,onlysomeonesstaringatyou.
Whoisit?
Dyouknowthatdressmakerwoman?

Theydorderedchipsandtheycamejustthen.Cahaldidntsay
anything,butknewthatsoonerorlaterhewasntgoingtobeableto
preventhimselffromlookingaround.Hewantedtoaskifthewoman
hadherchildwithher,butinthetownhehadonlyeverseenheron
herownandheknewthatthechildwouldntbethere.Ifshewas,it
wouldbeachanceinathousand,hethought,theapprehensionthat
hadhauntedhimonthenightoftheincidentfloodinghis
consciousness,stiflingeverythingelse.
God,thatonegivesmethecreeps!MinnieFennellymuttered,
splashingvinegarontoherchips.
Cahallookedroundthem.Hecaughtaglimpseofthedressmaker,
alone,beforehequicklylookedback.Hecouldstillfeelhereyesonhis
back.ShewouldhavebeeninLeahys;thewayshewassitting
suggesteddrunkenness.Whentheydfinishedtheirchipsandthe
coffeetheydbeenbroughtwhiletheywerewaiting,heaskedifshe
wasstillthere.
Sheis,allright.Dyouknowher?Doesshecomeintothegarage?
Ahno,shehasntacar.Shedoesntcomein.
Idbestbegettingback,Cahal.
Hedidntwanttogoyet,whilethewomanwasthere.Butiftheywaited
theycouldbehereforhours.Hedidntwanttopassnearher,butas
soonashedpaidandstooduphesawtheydhaveto.Whentheydid
shespoketoMinnieFennelly,nothim.

WillImakeyourweddingdressforyou?thedressmakeroffered.
Wouldyouthinkofmeatallwhenitllbetimeyoudwantit?
AndMinnieFennellylaughedandsaidnowaytheywerereadyfor
weddingdressesyet.
Cahalknowswherehellfindme,thedressmakersaid.AmntI
right,Cahal?
Ithoughtyoudidntknowher,MinnieFennellysaidwhenthey
wereoutside.
Threedaysafterthat,Mr.DurcanlefthisprewarRileyinbecausethe
handbrakewasslipping.Hedcomebackforitatfour,hearranged,
andsaidbeforeheleft,Didyouhearthataboutthedressmakers
child?
Hewasntthekindtogetthingswrong.Fussy,withathinblack
mustache,hisRileySportstheprideofhisbachelorlife,hewasastidy
inwhathesaidashewasinhowhedressed.
Gonemissing,hesaidnow.TheGardaiareinonit.
ItwasCahalsfatherwhowasbeingtoldthis.Cahal,withthecooling
systemfromGibneysbreadvaninpiecesonaworkbench,hadjust
foundwherethetubehadperished.
Shesbackward,thechild,hisfathersaid.
Sheis.

Youheartales.
Shesgoneoffforherself,anyway.Theyhaveablockonacoupleof
roads,askingwassheseen.
Theuneasethathadntlefthimsincethedressmakerhadbeeninthe
CyberCafbegantonagagainwhenCahalheardthat.Hewondered
whatquestionstheGardaiwereasking;hewonderedwhenitwasthat
thechildhadtakenherselfoff;althoughhetried,hecouldntpiece
anythingtogether.
Isntsheabackwardwomanherself,though?hisfatherremarked
whenMr.Durcanhadgone.Sure,didsheeverliftafingertotend
thatchild?
Cahaldidntsayanything.HetriedtothinkaboutmarryingMinnie
Fennelly,althoughstillnothingwasfixed,notevenanagreement
betweenthemselves.Herplump,honestfeaturesbecamevividfora
momentinhisconsciousness,thesameplumpnessinherarmsandher
hands.Hefounditattractive,healwayshad,sincefirsthednoticed
herwhenshewasstillgoingtothenuns.Heshouldnthavehad
thoughtsabouttheSpanishgirl,heshouldnthavelethimself.He
shouldhavetoldthemthestatuewasnothing,thatthemantheydmet
hadbeenpullingafastoneforthesakeofthedrinkstheydbuyhim.
Yourmotherhadthatonerunupcurtainsforthebackroom,his
fathersaid.Wouldyourememberthat,boy?
Cahalshookhishead.

Ah,youwouldnthavebeenfiveatthetime,maybeyoungeryet.She
wasjustaftersettingupwiththedressmaking,herfatherstilltherein
thecottagewithher.Thepriestssaidgiveherworkonaccountshewas
acharity.Bedad,theywouldntsayitnow!
Cahalturnedtheradioonandturnedthevolumeup.Madonnawas
singing,andheimaginedherinthegetupshedfanciedforherselfa
fewyearsago,suspendersanditemsofunderclothes.Hedthoughtshe
wasgreat.
ImtakingtheToyotaout,hisfathersaid,andthebellfromthe
forecourtrang,someonewaitingthereforpetrol.Itdidntconcern
him,Cahaltoldhimselfashewenttoanswerit.Whathadoccurredon
theeveningofGermanyandHollandwasadifferentthingaltogether
fromthenewsMr.Durcanhadbrought,nowaycoulditberelated.
Howya,hegreetedtheschoolbusdriveratthepumps.
Thedressmakerschildwasfoundwhereshedlainforseveraldays,at
thebottomofafissure,halfcoveredwithshale,intheexhausted
quarryhalfamilefromwhereshedlived.Yearsagothelastofthe
stonehadbeencartedawayandabarbedwirefenceputup,withtwo
warningnoticesaboutdanger.Shewouldhavecrawledinunderthe
bottomstrandofwire,theGardaisaid,andachainlinkfencereplaced
thebarbedwirewithinaday.
Inthetownthedressmakerwascondemned,blamedbehindherback
forthetragedythathadoccurred.Thatherownfather,whohadraised
heronhisownsincehermothersearlydeath,hadhimselfbeenthe
fatherofthechildwasanuglycalumny,notvoicedbefore,but

seemingnowtohaveanaturalplaceinthepaltryexistenceofachild
whohadlivedanddiedwretchedly.
Howareyou,Cahal?Cahalheardthevoiceofthedressmaker
behindhimwhen,earlyoneNovembermorning,hemadehiswayto
theshedwhereheandMinnieFennellyindulgedtheiraffectionfor
oneanother.Itwasnotyetoneoclock,thetownlightslongago
extinguishedexceptforafewonMainStreet.Wouldyoucomehome
withme,Cahal?WouldwewalkouttowhereIam?
AllthiswasspokentohisbackwhileCahalwalkedon.Heknewwho
wasthere.Heknewwhoitwas,hedidnthavetolook.
Leavemealone,hesaid.
ManysthenightIrestmyselfontheriverseatandmanysthenight
Iseeyou.Youdalwaysbeinahurry,Cahal.
Iminahurrynow.
Oneoclockinthemorning!Arrah,goonwithyou,Cahal!
Idontknowyou.Idontwanttobetalkingtoyou.
ShewasgoneforfivedaysbeforeIwenttotheGuards.Itwouldntbe
thefirsttimeshewasgoneoff.Aminutewouldntgobywithoutshe
wasoutontheroad.
Cahaldidntsayanything.Eventhoughhestilldidntturnroundhe
couldsmellthedrinkonher,staleandacrid.

Ididntgotothemanyquickerforfeartheydtrackdownthewayit
waswhentheleadwouldbefreshforthem.Dyouunderstandme,
Cahal?
Cahalstopped.Heturnedroundandshealmostwalkedintohim.He
toldhertogoaway.
Theroadwasthethingwithher.Firstthingofamorningshedbe
runningatthecarswithoutapickoffoodinsideher.Thenextthingis
shedbeoffuptheroadtothestatue.Shedkneeltothestatuethe
wholedayuntilshewasfoundbysomeoldfellowwhodbringher
backtome.Someoldfellowdhaveherbythehandandtheydwalkin
thedoor.Oh,manysthetime,Cahal.Wasntitthefirstplacethe
GuardslookedwhenIsaidthattothesergeant?Anywomanddoher
bestforherown,Cahal.
Willyouleavemealone!
Gonesevenitwas,maybetwentypast.Ihadthedooropentogointo
LeahysandIseentheblackcargoingbyandyourselfinsideit.You
alwaysnoticeacarintheeveningtime,onlythenextthingwasIwas
latebackfromLeahysandshewasgone.Dyouunderstandme,
Cahal?
Itsnothingtodowithme.
Hedhavegonebackthesamewayhewentout,Isaidtomyself,butI
didntmentionittotheGuards,Cahal.Wassheinthewayof
wanderinginhernightdress?waswhattheyaskedmeandItoldthem
shedbeoutthedoorbeforeyoudseeher.Willwegohome,Cahal?

Imnotgoinganywherewithyou.
Theredneverbeawordofblameonyourself,Cahal.
Theresnothingtoblamemefor.Ihadpeopleinthecarthat
evening.
IswearbeforeGod,whatshappenedisdonewith.Comebackwith
menow,Cahal.
Nothinghappened,nothingsdonewith.TherewasSpanishpeoplein
thecartheentiretime.IdrovethemouttoPouldeargandbackagain
toMaceysHotel.
MinnieFennellysnousetoyou,Cahal.
Hehadneverseenthedressmakerupclosebefore.Shewasyounger
thanhedthought,butstilllookedwhatshewasafairbitolderthan
himself,maybetwelveorthirteenyears.Thetwistinherfacewasnt
ugly,butitspoiltwhatmighthavebeenbeautyofakind,andhe
rememberedtheflawlessbeautyoftheSpanishgirlandthesilkinessof
herhair.Thedressmakershairwasblack,too,butwildandmatted,
limplystraggling,fallingtohershoulders.Theeyesthathadstaredso
intenselyathimintheCyberCafwerebleary.Herfulllipswere
drawnbackinasmile,oneofherteethslightlychipped.Cahalwalked
awayandshedidnotfollowhim.
Thatwasthebeginning;therewasnoend.Inthetown,thoughnever
againatnight,shewasalwaysthere:Cahalknewthatwasanillusion,
thatshewasntalwaystherebutseemedsobecauseherpresenceon

eachoccasionmeantsomuch.Shetidiedherselfup;sheworedark
clothes,whichpeoplesaidwereinmourningforherchild;andpeople
saidshehadceasedtofrequentLeahyspublichouse.Shewasseen
paintingthefrontofhercottage,thesameblueshade,andtendingits
bedraggledfrontgarden.Shewalkedfromtheshopsofthetown,and
nevernowstood,handraised,insearchofalift.
Continuinghisfamiliardailyroutineofrepairsandservicingand
answeringthepetrolbell,Cahalfoundhimselfunabletodismissthe
connectionbetweenthemthatthedressmakerhadmadehimawareof
whenshedwalkedbehindhiminthenight,andknewthattherootsit
camefromspreadandgatheredstrengthandwerenurtured,in
himself,byfear.Cahalwasafraidwithoutknowingwhathewasafraid
of,andwhenhetriedtoworkthisouthewasbewildered.Hebeganto
gotoMassandtoconfessionmoreoftenthanheeverhadbefore.It
wasnoticedbyhisfatherthathehadevenlesstosaythesedaystothe
customersatthepumpsorwhentheylefttheircarsin.Hismother
wonderedabouthisbeinganemicandputhimonironpills.Returning
foracoupleofdaysataweekend,hissisterwhowasstillinIreland
saidthetroublemustsurelybeFennelly.
Duringallthistimepassinginotherwaysquitenormallythechild
wasliftedagainandagainfromthecleftintherocks,stillinher
nightdressasCahalhadseenher,laidoutandwrappedasthedeadare
wrapped.Ifhehadnthadtochangethewheelhewouldhavepassed
thecottageatadifferenttimeandthechanceswereshewouldnthave
beenreadytorunout,wouldntjustthenhavefeltinclinedto.Ifhed
explainedtotheSpaniardsabouttheVirginstearsbeingnomorethan
rainhewouldnthavebeenontheroadatall.

Thedressmakerdidnotspeaktohimagainorseekto,butheknewthat
thefreshbluepaint,andthemourningclothesthatwerenot,withtime,
abandoned,andtheflowersthatcametofillthesmallfrontgarden
wereallforhim.Whenalittlemorethanayearhadpassedsincethe
eveningheddriventheSpanishcoupleouttoPouldearg,heattended
MinnieFennellysweddingtoDesDowney,avetfromAthenry.
Thedressmakerhadnotsaidit,butitwaswhattherehadbeenbetween
theminthedarkenedstreets:thathehadgoneback,walkingoutashe
hadwantedtothatnightwhenhedlainawake,thatherchildhad
beentherewhereshehadfallenontheroad,thathehadcarriedherto
thequarry.AndCahalknewitwasthedressmaker,nothe,whohad
donethat.
HevisitedtheVirginoftheWayside,alwaysexpectingthatshemight
bethere.Heknelt,andaskedfornothing.Hespokeonlyinhis
thoughts,offeringreparationandpromisingtoacceptwhatevermight
bevisiteduponhimforassociatinghimselfwiththemockeryofthe
mantheSpaniardshadmetbychanceinDublin,formockingthe
lopsidedimageontheroad,takingfiftyeurosforalie.Hehadlooked
atthemkissing.HehadthoughtaboutMadonnawithherclothesoff,
notmindingthatshecalledherselfthat.
OncewhenhewasatPouldeargCahalnoticedtheglistenofwhathad
oncebeentakenfortearsontheVirginscheek.Hetouchedthehollow
wherethismoisturehadaccumulatedandraisedhisdampenedfinger
tohislips.Itdidnottasteofsalt,butthatmadenodifference.Driving
back,whenhewentbythedressmakersbluecottageshewastherein
thefrontgarden,weedingherflowerbeds.Eventhoughshedidnt
lookup,hewantedtogotoherandknewthatonedayhewould.