TYPE LAST NAME HERE 1

Jeab Aquino
Ms. Holt
Eng. 1P/Per.3
1/29/2016

Good VS. Evil

There it is. Helpless, still, and vulnerable. I grip the knife in my hand into a tight clench,
which make my knuckles turn to white. The forest and trees enclose over me and suddenly its
like the whole island went to sleep, leaving a deadly silence; but also the steady breathing of the
boar. I bring the knife next to its neck. At that moment, its like two opposite worlds are fighting
each other. There could of been the thoughts going through Jacks head in the book Lord of the
Flies. A topic of debate of whether humans are inherently good or evil have been a great
worldwide discussion. In the novel, Lord of the Flies, William Golding tells the story a group of
British school boys who crashed by plane on an island who started off as civilized kids who later
on transformed into uncivilized and savage animals. I think people are good by nature because
they are innocent, generous, and choose love over fear.

One reason why people are good by nature is because they are innocent. On CBS News,
scientists conducted an experiment on babies to test their morality and if they would . One of the
scientists said that during a test, babies reached for the nice bunny rather than the bad. In this
example, the viewers learn that babies tend to choose good over bad. This proves to the audience
that humans are inherently good. In addition as a personal experience, when I was younger, I
always did the right thing and when I grew older, I started disobeying my parents and breaking
rules. This means that when we grow older, we tend to become more savage and less innocent.

TYPE LAST NAME HERE 2

This supports the fact that humans are inherently good. As a result, readers will come to the
conclusion that society and our surroundings are what changed us into bad.

Another reason why humans are inherently good is because they are generous. The piece
of text, Thank You Maam, Mrs. Jones states, Eat more son. A little boy named Roger,
attempted to steal Mrs. Jones purse, but instead of turning him into the police, she brought him to
her apartment. In this example, the readers learn that humans can choose to be good and share
what they have. It is important to note this because it gets the readers thinking of why Mrs. Jones
is being nice to someone who tried to rob her. To build on this, Mrs. Roger also said, Then
Roger, you go to that sink and wash your face. Readers can come to the conclusion that humans
have the choice to do the right thing even if its hard and that the bad can cloud our judgment
making us often choose wrong from right.
Additionally, people choose love over fear. The literary piece in The Gift of a Magi, Della
says, Give it to me quick! By looking at this quote, readers can consume that Della would do
anything to get enough money to buy her husband, Jim, a present for Christmas that was quickly
approaching. This shows the readers that Della will sacrifice and not be afraid of the
consequences that she will have to face when she cuts her hair. Another example in the text is
when Jim told Della, I want you to understand me, Dell. Nothing like a haircut could make me
love you any less. It is clear that the true goodness and act of giving love and make someone
react the same. As a result, readers will understand that goodness comes from within the person
and is influenced by others and will not let their emotions take over.
On the other hand, people think otherwise. But the point remains that humans are
inherently good by nature because they are innocent, generous, and they choose love over fear.
For example, a soldier would of grown up believing that killing is bad, but when he became an

TYPE LAST NAME HERE 3

adult, he realized and learned that its ok to kill because hes protecting his own country. It is
essential for people to recognize that we do not choose to be good, we can only choose to not do
bad; because we are all inherently good by nature.

Rubric rating submitted on: 2/5/2016, 8:18:02 AM by bholt@ggusd.net

6

Statement
of
Purpose/Fo
cus
Your
score: 4

Superior a-b Claim

and
counterclai
ms are
superior to
a5

Strong a.Claim is
clear,
focused and
maintained
and b.
Alternate or
opposing
claim(s) are
adequately
addressed

Proficient a. Claim is
clear, and
for the most
part
maintained,
though
some
loosely
relevant
material
may be
present b.
Alternate or
opposing
claim(s) are
introduced

Marginal a. Claim
may be
clearly
focused,
but is
insufficientl
y sustained
and b.
Alternate or
opposing
claim(s) are
unclear or
unfocused

Weak - a.
Claim is
unfocused
and
insufficientl
y sustained.
b. Alternate
or opposing
claim(s) are
unclear or
not present

Inadequate
- a. Claim
may be
confusing
or
ambiguous.
b. Alternate
or opposing
claim(s) are
not present

Off topic,
no repsonse

Organizatio
n
Your
score: 4

Superior c.
Transitional
Stategies
and logical
progresion
of ideas are
superior to
a5

Strong - c.
Consistent
use of
transitional
strategies
d.Logical
progression
of ideas
from
beginning
to end e.
Effective
introductio
n and
conclusion
for
audience
and
purpose

Proficient c. Adequate
use of
transitional
strategies
with some
variety
d. Adequate
progression
of ideas
from
beginning
to end
e. Adequate
introductio
n and
conclusion

Marginal c.
Inconsistent
use of basic
transitional
strategies
with little
variety
d. Uneven
progression
of ideas
from
beginning
to end e.
Introductio
n and
conclusion
are present

Weak - c.
Limited use
of basic
transitional
strategies
with little
or no
variety d.
Unclear
progression
of ideas
from
beginning
to end e.
Introductio
n and
conclusion
are
attempted

Inadequate
- c. Few or
no
transitional
strategies
are evident
d. Has a
major drift
in the
progression
of ideas e.
Introductio
n or
conclusion
may not be
present

Off topic,
no repsonse

TYPE LAST NAME HERE 4

elaboration
of evidence
Your
score: 3

language
and
vocabulary
Your
score: 3
conventions
Your
score: 4

Superior Exceptional
ly coherent
and welldeveloped
argument

Superior Impressive
control of
language
Superior Demonstrat
es
syntactical
variety, and
superior
grammar,
usage, and
sentence
formation.
Standard
use of
punctuation
,
capitalizati
on, and
spelling

Strong - f.
Use of
relevant
evidence
from
sources is
integrated
with
appropriate
citation. g.
Effective
use of
elaborative
techniques

Proficient f. Some
evidence
from
sources is
integrated,
though
citations
may be
general or
imprecise.
g.Adequate
use of some
elaborative
techniques

Marginal f. Evidence
from
sources is
weakly
integrated
and
citations, if
present are
uneven.
g.Marginal
or uneven
use of
elaborative
techniques

Weak - f.
Evidence
from
sources is
included,
but not
integrated
or
appropriatel
y cited
g.Elaborati
ve
techniques
are weak

Inadequate
- f. Use of
evidence
from
sources
minimal,
absent, in
error, or
irrelevant g.
Elaborative
techniques
are absent

Off topic,
no repsonse

Strong - f.
Effective
use of
elaborative
techniques

Proficient f. Adequate
use of some
elaborative
techniques

Marginal f. Marginal
or uneven
use of
elaborative
techniques

Weak - f.
Elaborative
techniques
are weak

Inadequate
- f.
Elaborative
techniques
are absent

Off topic,
no repsonse

Strong - i.
Demonstrat
es some
syntactical
variety, but
may have
minor
errors in
grammar,
usage, and
sentence
formation
j. Standard
use of
punctuation
,
capitalizati
on, and
spelling

Proficient i. Some
evidence
from
sources is
integrated,
though
citations
may be
general or
imprecise.
j.Adequate
use of some
elaborative
techniques

Marginal i. Use of
academic
and
domainspecific
vocabulary
may at
times be
inappropria
te for the
audience
and
purpose j.
Frequent
errors in
grammar
and usage
may
obscure
meaning

Weak - i.
Use of
academic
and
domainspecific
vocabulary
is largely
inappropria
te for the
audience
and
purpose
j.Frequent
errors in
grammar,
usage, and
sentence
formation
obscure
meaning

Inadequate
- i. Uses
limited
academic
language or
domainspecific
vocabulary
and has
little sense
of audience
and
purpose j.
Errors in
grammar,
usage, and
sentence
formation
are frequent
and severe,
and
meaning is
often
obscured

Off topic,
no repsonse

TYPE LAST NAME HERE 5

Comments:
Your topic sentences, quote integration, and means sentences are strong.
Continue to work on your matters sentence and explaining to the reader why it is important: the
so what of your argument.
Also, make sure that your essay meets all of the requirements before submitting. You needed to
use different texts for each paragraph and include parenthetical citations after the quotes.
Score: 3