• A man comes into the Emergency Room and

yells, "My wife’s going

To have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my
stuff, rushed out to the cab,
Lifted the lady’s dress, and began to take off
her underwear. Suddenly
I noticed that there were several cabs, and I
was in the wrong one.(Dr. Mark MacDonald,
San Antonio, TX)
• Dr. Jones goes to the retirement home for his
monthly rounds. He sees Joe and asks him, "Joe,
how much is three times three?" Joe responds
"59." He goes over to Tom and asks, "Tom, how
much is three times three?" Tom responds,
"Wednesday." He finally goes over to John and
asks, "John, how much is three times three?"
"NINE" replies John. "That’s right ...now how did
you come to that answer?" "It was easy...I just
subtracted 59 from Wednesday!"
• A woman in her 90’s is distraught after the death of her warm,
caring, faithful husband of seventy years. She can’t live without him
and decides that the best way to do herself in is to stab herself in
her pitifully broken heart. Still, she doesn’t want to linger so she
calls a doctor to find out exactly where the heart is.

He tells her to put her first two fingers together, hold them
horizontally and place the tip of the first finger just below her left
nipple. The heart, he says, is immediately below the first knuckle on
her second finger.

Later that day, the doctor is called to the emergency room to put
fourteen stitches in the elderly woman’s left thigh.
• You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a
whole box of Ex-Lax, tomorrow you’ll be
afraid to cough.
• Q: What is the difference between God and
an orthopedic surgeon

A: God dosn’t think he is an orthopedic

surgeon.
• Did you hear about the baby born in the high
tech delivery room?

It was cordless!