POOR MAN'S JAMES BOND Vol, The 1 Poor POOR MAN S JAMES BOND Vol. 1 Man's JAMES BOND NDEX Page 105 Kurt Saxon YOU ARE THE LAW! by Kurt Saxon bue to budyet cuts a Missouri sheriff's department ce- ses down al 5 pm, Callers get a recorded message saying, in effect, “befend yourself as best you can until tonor- violent crime rese 12% in Lone, Prisons are so crowded, tnousands of criminal psycho- ties are given early parole. Cases of murder, rape and every. other vicious crime have been reported asa direct result of loosing these animal Mental institutions are se selgetive that an #pp1 ican has to prove his eligibility by silling at least ono of the examiners. ‘The fellow who killed 2. McDonald's custo~ mers a couple of years aco had been refused mental help just a few days previous to the massacre because he seemed in pretty qgod shape, n11 things considered. Most police auencies are understaffed, overworked end their officers prone to battle Fatigue. 2b is increasingly hard to get a collar put avay for the period determined by his offense. officers often igneze crimes they feel our Liveral courts vould allow te be plea-bargained aut of the over-crowded docket. There are even cases of cops ignoring a@ mugging white staked out Cor a Large drug bust. so you can actually be atlacked, robved, raped, mained or killed while a cop i00ks on, Drugs have become such a fixation with our lawmen that their suppression has effectively exascuzated police to “Protect and Serve". Besides, every cop vho maken drug bust is, in effect, working foz the drug deaiers. Yheir vatiant, though counterpreduetive efforts serve only te drive up the prices of drugs. This greatly increases your chance of being mugged oz burgiarised by losers need- ing more money for a fix. Whe only solution to the drug problem is total 1egati- zation. This would take the profit from the trade, Ti losers who prey on society to support their habit could then destroy their already inferior brains at 1ittle cost and no danger to the taxpayer. Why should billions be taken fron our economy by the Drug Bnfordenent Agency, junkies robbing to support their habit and court time? Who “cares if a loser, barn lp no purpose, destroys his brain? Noulda't your’ chile pe less likely to get on drugs through peer pressure if one of his already hooked peers had nothing to gain? And’ would= n't you rather a junicy Liow his mind with aver-tne- counter narcotics than maim or kill you or ove of your loved ones for tne money to buy from a pusher? Our grost-crandparents could buy any narcotic cver-the- counter. Drug-induced crimes vere too rare to document, Drug addicts not only had no need to prey on society to ort Uheie habit but’ they soon died, taking theis in- ferior selves oul of the gene pool. Now, babies are born showing withdrawal symptoms. Hun— dreds of thousands ef degenerates are breeding like rats, both out of ignocance and to get more Aid to Dependent: Children so as to bey wore aris The Secret Secret Agent’s Lab! Just imagine you were the real 007. After saving your tountry a dozen tines, you are in disgrace. ‘This is is bo- cause, at a party, you gave the queen a playfu1 goose, causing her to spring into the punch bowl. 50 you were fired. No longer the clever gad- gets, the fancy and lethal €ars. And 211 those girls? Now even Moneypenny wor't give you a tumble. Poor baby. But you've still got all those enemies you've made éur- ing 30 many movies. You are now cut off from MI-5 and on your ow. Now you'll have to equip yourself to survive and defend your nation, Unauthari- zed and even forbidden to e: gage the foe, you must keep your activities secret from police, landlords ané especi- ally relatives living with you. Of course, while making all your own weapons, you'll need a cover story to explain your workshop and lab, Aside from the other volumes of ‘THE POOR MAN'S JAMES BOND, T advise you to get GRANDDAD'S WONDER- FUL, BOOK OF CHEMISPRY and all the volumes of ‘THE SURVIVOR. Wich all this information, you will be able to create an ars- enal while leading others to think you were only trying out the old formulas and cratts. Although the chemistry book shows how to make many com- pounds from simple, easy =o get chemicals, you’ may want to order many chemicals and labPOOR MAN'S ‘nis was exemplified on a recent Phil Donahue show. The stage was crowded With cribe of "boarder babies". These wore tho pititw o7fspring of junkies «no were too far Jone to caro for Their socially doomed yound. "What £0 do about the situation?” was the thene of the sagment. Somehow, a zaziona: caller got through who said that all their mothers should undergo mazdasory steriiizat ion. Phit_qmoved'on without addressing Masel’ to the only real- istic seiution suggested, Hor dic ary in his aud.ence re- fer to it. Hoch Phil and his entire studio audience sconcd ) vbzabve ‘crac boretning” noua 68 dene to neLp those vined children, of course, nothing could be done, but reventing more of the same Vas out of the question, So more Women will have kore ruined badiess They will So spread AIS through dirty noelles and oroet initio nd have more babies while Phil and his siveral audience amer their impotent syepathy. But I digress. Getting back to the audject of you, the rivate citizen seing the lav, is ny purpose. Not too long ago, officers’ engaged in public relations puld lecture civilians on how to Keep from beim injured y Social predators. Their advice was non-resistance, sive him vhat he wants and he may not hurt yo This no lczger holds true. Increasingly, wore predators re those prematurely released from nuthouses and prisons hey Ake criminally psychot.e and consider the bod’ly in= wry Of their victims the icang on their cakes “hey fave > Cour of punishment since they ace used to prlgon OF ave pagers saying they are nentally ill and so are not sponsible. So why shouldn't they bear you to pieces aft r Ehey've gotten Your vallet or raped you? Ono’ arounent againat resistance to the mager, armed >boer or rapist is that a show of counter-force micnt xe him mad al you. But, Dear Hears, is not a ‘monster wreatering your life alreacy mad a= you? This brings to nind a classic news account of a rape, 2fcre the word "rape" was in conson use. “He boat her tps vocked her teoth out, threw her dowstacrs, breaking hee ed and then attacked her Getting back to your beile the Law: you've heard of the rm "Citizen's Arrest". This meano that a citizer witness ing a rime vhere there are no. povice present is legally peered to arrest the lswoceaker. Such arrasts have ony en made in the case of non-violent offenders. I've never sard of a nugger of rapist being treated to a cizizen's rest, Even so, if the Citizen making the aerest taized "read hin his rights" xould not he be released? So forget citizen's arrests, Also, don't ae bothered by y objections to taking the law int your own hands. When a are confronted by an assailant you are the law. Mores ver, in anticipation ct Feing forced to act agzinot an tacker, go armed. With your chances of “being a victim going up all the ime, the penalties for carryine = concealed weapon become ess" important. Even So, as a California police captain id me yoars age, "Better to be sudged bY twelve than arried py six". Besides, if you acen't accustomed to be- nq Seatched, how would carrying = concealed Weapon make nu nore Likely to be searched? Aa the crine rate rises, the Liberal wedia continues to ntimidate the citizen vho'wouls exercise his duty to eli- inate predators. Bernhard Goct2 is still being tried €or hooting four vermin, Berny's only crines were in not Kil~ Ing them all ans in'then giving himself up. ‘A lesser crins wae in his pleading self-defense, 1 hato nat term, If you limit your action to defense, which he ‘an attaczer can break through your écfense. The dea is to attace vith the intention to main oz kill your vtacker. . What most peonle don't realize is that a mugger, rap- sty burglar, etc,, chooses his viceire for thelr vulnera- y. He's not a’ challenger. He doesn't want any cesis~ JAMES BOND Yo. 1 POOR MAN'S: JAMES BOND Vol. 1 supplies ready-made. Your best source is the hoboy chemical companies advertizing in the Classifieds of Popular Science and Popular Mechanics. Of course, such companies have removed’ just about all of the oxidizers 1ike the chlor. ates and nitrates, plus acids Siw ting vrmbhLasem ee sc hk) do damage with, But they do offer the full range of Lab equipment such as rubber tub- ing, glass tubing, retorts, flasks, test tubes, etc., that you may not want to take the trouble to make yourse: An even better source for chemicals is your local phar~ macy, It would be best if it was one near a hospital, as they usually have more Cheni- cals in stock, such as strong ammonia, formaldehyde, etc. You don't just walk up to the pharmacist with a list of chemicals and lab gear. Most of his time is spent filling prescriptions and he makes a good living at it. He would make @ profit ordering chemi- als and lab gear for you but not enough to interrupt his routine. So you have =o be very Clover and get to his ego and alse his unorthodox interests. Bvery pharmacist is some what of a mad scientist in his own fantasies. You must qet Aim to accept your own in- terest in veira projects with out arousing any suspicion or taking up too much of his time. You start by saying a few cheery words to himon a couple of occasions when you see hets not too busy. Most Pharmacists are really nice guys but if he's just an oid Poop, go on to the next one. Your best bet is to show him 2 Copy of GRANDDAD's WON DERFUL BOOK CF CHEMISTRY, esp- ecially the section on cheni- gal magic. Tell him you are interested in stage magic w: chemicals but don't know how to get the chemicais. You may even loan him the book. At any rate, it will be your best smokescreen, giving you a ie- gitimate, if odd, excuse for vanting just about any Chemi- cal you feel a need for. noosePOOR MAN'S JAMES BOND Vol. 1 3 nce. A counteraztack is usually the only vay te keep x being victimized. And that Usualty means any form of ‘A predator bent on gain from semeone he considers weak= er will change his mind quickly if attacked by his victim. After all, he dogsn't want to press charges against a vie~ tim, Nor does he want to explain a wound which has to be reported to the police. in mast casea, he simply can't af- ford resistance te any degree. Even so, the media still warns against counterforce ag- ainst attackers. Last week a Little Rock 1V station did a report against Stun guns by Doug Hurst. The argument was that the stun gun wasn't effective against everyene and it ‘ould take about three seconds to immobilize an attacker, the inference being that the attacker could Gisarm a snal- Ler person in those three seconds. ‘That vas nonsense. Anyone unaffected by 50,000 voits is From another planet. Even a 35,000 volt stun gun will stop an attacker instantly. And sure, one can do 2 loz in threo Seconds. But tho stun gun inmobilizes instantiy and the longer the contact is maintained, the longer the attacker will be inmobitized. So simple contact vill make an at- cker helpless. I? the contact is maintalned for from three to five séconds, the attacker vill be paralyzed for from four to eight minutes. In that time you can handcuff nim and take his ¥aliet. (Spoils of war). ‘one thine to keep in'mind is te never threaten a mugger er any other attacker, Use on him whatever you have. In most cases ha would run. But if your veapon seems puny or he has a longer reach, you might not be able to do aa much damage to him as if you take him unawares. ‘Actually, any harm you can éo to an attacker will be very likely’to Sause him to flee. Ne're not concerned vith “stopping power” here. Stopping power usually applies to an assailant dedicated to harming you as an individual. He may be a doped-up paycho bent on rape or mayhem for its cwn sake. In that event you might as vell do as uch dnm- age as you can since you are at risk regardless of your Tn nost cases concerning junkies, taey are sot high. They Want money for a fix and are hurting. They don't want any mere pain. A .22 Stinger, a stab wound from a knife pen oz even a'"key Buddy” kni¢e will be sucticient. Last week I vas gratified by a caller who told me I may have saved the Lives of his wife and himsel!, He told me they vere in a foreign country and vere accosted by a Mnife-wielding punk vho demanded their mney. The Caller had one of my fangs in 2 narrow pocket he had had his wife sew beside his wallet pocket, The fang pocket was snug enough to retain the cap as the fang was withdravn. ‘The caller removes the wallet and fang at the sane time and as he handed over the wallet he shoved the potassium cyanide loaded fang into the punk's stomach, As expected, it had registered in the fool's mind that something had been dene to him. He paused momentarily to See if he was hurt, The caller estimated that it took only From four to six seconds for him to drop dead. As it hap- pened, police wore nearby and took the body avay, assuming the robber had hac a heart attack, The caller wasn't held. But the caller was sure, from the demeanor of the punk, that had he not been fanged he vould have stabbed them oth. The police were there only by coincidence: Aside from being able to destroy vermin who might be a threat to you, you ought te reach out as 2 responsible protector of your community. if you are az loose ends, you ought to become a cop. Failing that, there is alvays the National Guard, At least join your local neighborhood watch. Without a sense of community responsibility you won’t count for much in the long run. PCOR MAN'S JAMES BOND Vol. 1 A sure way to get lab gear and even a pretty fair assort- ment of chemicals is to call up highschool and college chemistry lab teachers, after class, Tell them you are look- ing for second-hané lab gear and would appreciate it if they vould tell you if they knew of any graduating sta- dents who might wish to part with their old lab gear. I've come upon good buys from ex- chemistry students who were through with their equipment. Tt's usually just taking up space and they are glad to get rid of it for very littie. Teachers are often very heipful on behalf of such stu- dents and also, one might even have some school lab gear that has been replaced with new equipment. You might also ask the teachers where to buy lab gear ané chemicals. another way is to put an ad in your local newspaper's classifieds under "Wanted". Example, "Wanted: Beginning chemistry student wants second hand lab gear and chemicals. (phone)". You might also tack such an ad on highschool and College bulletin boarcs. If you put your mind to it you can gradually accumulate all the lab gear and chemicals you want. But just to prepare you for the tiie when you may have to make your own lab gear you should learn to make all the practical lab gear you can from odés and ends. The following calls for a lot of class and rubber tubing which is easy to get from any Pharmacy or Chemistry cata— logue. Even so, copper tubing in various sizes from your lo- cai hardware store can often be substituted for glass tub- ing. Most glass tubing is used for leads from stoppers to which rubber or plastic tubing is attached. To bend copper tubing without crinkling, you #411 the tubing with sand. Reqular corks of all sizes can be bought from any large hardvare store. The cork is arilleé to snugly accommodate glass or copper tubing. Plastic tubing can also be bought from the same hardware store in all sizes. It is al-