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Prof.

Lakshman Madurasinghe, PhD


Consultant Psychologist, Attorney
What is Counselling ?
Why do we need it ?
Counselling may be defined
as
1.providing help and support
to a client
2. creating a climate of
acceptance
3. Assisting the client
to explore, understand and
act (EUA)
It is a dynamic relationship
between two or more
persons- A QUANTUM
MODEL
consilium….grasp with

sellan….to sell or deliver

counselling is delivered and


counselee grasps together
with counsellor
GOALS AND AIMS OF COUNSELLING

To understand the counselee’s current


situation.

To understand how he has tried to handle


the problem.

To understand his view of the


problem……….
To understand his emotional reactions.

To evaluate the total problem.

To help him clarify his life situation


Prof. Edwin Herr….

Hypothesis testing
Triple filter of Integrity

Honest
Accountable
Just & Equitable
Herrmann Brain-dominance
instrument

Left brain- logical thinkers


left brain –limbic- sequential
thinkers

Right brain- holistic thinkers


Right-brain-limbic- emotional
thinkers
Spect Analysis
What happens if full brain is not
used
What is the reality around
us ?
Confucius in Analects
says
Wealth and honour are what
every person desires. But if
they have been obtained in
violation of moral principles,
they must not be kept
Socrates in Apology says

The moral person does not put money or


anything above virtue
EastIndiaChina/Japan1000+ BCE
Judaism:
Moses 1500-1350 BCE Hinduism:

2000 BCE 600 BCEZoroastrianism:


Zoroaster 628-527 BCEJainism:
Mahavira 599-527 BCE
Buddhism:
Buddha 563-483 BCE
Taoism:
Lao Tse 580-500 BCE
Confucianism:
Confucius 551-579 BCE 100 CE
Christianity:
Jesus 1-33 CE Shinto:
100 CE600 CE Islam:
Muhammad 570-636 CE
Shakespeare on Roses

A rose by any other name


smells as sweet……..
Mini wars, hostages, hi-jackings,
hundred other horrors and terrors is
disquieting.

Inside society there is societal entropy.

Crimes are escalating. Violence and


vices are spiraling.
Counselling is not…..

Advice giving

Opinion giving

Sympathizing
Counselling is not…..

Giving practical help

Not simply interviewing

Not simply listening


Skills are gradual not
sudden , so constant practice
is vital
a few months……
Psychological approaches to
Counselling

Client Centred- Carl Rogers


Psychodynamic- Freud
Gestalt- Frit Perls
Humanistic- RET-Ellis
Personal Construct- Kelly
Behavioural- Watson, Skinner
Transactional Analysis- Berne
WHAT ARE THE 3 P’S
Premise
Person
Process
Premise

Human interaction is primary


to life

1. Interdependence
2. Independence
Person

Accept 3 factors
1. Recognize importance of
spiritual values
2. Love others as self
3. Accept self as human
Counsellor’s qualities
Empathy

Some answers

Implies risk
emotional involvement
concern
connection between you and
the man
Empathy

To understand someone
from his point of view, by
sensing and experiencing
his feelings and perspective

Apathy; Empathy, Sympathy


Empathy

Negotiation
Conflict Management
Managing diversity
Developing others
Customer needs
networking
Counsellor’s qualities

1. Empathy- Your hurt is my


hurt
2. Positive regard
3. Genuineness
4. Concreteness
Counsellor’s qualities

5. Clear thinking
6. Common sense
7. Self awareness
8. Warmth
Counsellor’s Motivation
Counsellor’s Motivation

1. The need for relationships

2. The need to control


Counsellor’s Motivation

3. The need to rescue

4. The need for information


Counsellor’s Motivation

5. Just fashionable…..
Some don’ts in Counselling

Don’t Moralize
Don’t compare with your experience
Don’t offer advice on personal and
emotional issues
Don’t tell the client they don’t feel a
certain way- of course you are not
depressed…..
Counsellor’s Role
Counsellor’s Role

1. Being hasty instead of


deliberate
2. Being disrespectful
instead of sympathetic
Counsellor’s Role

3. Being judgmental instead


of unbiased
4. Being directive instead of
interpretive
Counsellor’s Role

5. Emotionally over involved

6.Artificial- not authentic


The Counselee

The Counselee’s rights must be


respected

1. Right to speak and be heard


2. Right to his/her opinion
3. Right to defend him/herself
4. Right to personal philosophy
The process
Moving Interviews forward
3 Stages

Understand
Explore
Act
Check list of essentials

1 . Why does he need help at this time


2. What has he already done towards
solving the problem
3. What help has he already received
Check list of essentials

4. What help does he still need


5. Spiritual needs
6. Plan of action
Unskilled responses

1. Me too

2. If I were you

3. Yes, but
Active listening is a learned
skill and not a natural
attribute
Listening Assessment
Effective Listening
behaviour
SOLER

1. Sitting squarely
2. Open position
3. Leaning forward
4. Eye contact
5. Relaxing
Check List of listening skills

Be accepting
Be concerned
Be patient
Be specific
Be honest
Be faithful
1. Be Accepting

Take a non-judgmental stance


Accept him for what he is
Accept him for where he is
2. Be Concerned

Caring and willing to get involved


Attentive to what the client says
Your motivation is love
3. Be patient

The client sets the schedule


Giving time suggests interest
Do not force the pace
4. Be specific

Ask specific questions


Give concrete statements
Confront inconsistencies
5. Be honest

Respond in a way that reflects your


feelings
Your responses are to be congruent
with your feelings
Your responses should be gracious
6. Be faithful

Absolute confidentiality
Refrain from passing along info given
by client
Always keep an appointment with
client
The Complete Message
Please fill out the %

?? % ?? %
Tone
Content

?? % Non Verbal
The Complete Message

Nonverbal – 55 %
Tone of voice- 38 %
Actual words- 7 % !!