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for pretending to care.

And while slapping me, they would get something off of their chest, and that would be a good thing for them, wouldn't it? ** This troper thinks that you have been misdiagnosed due to a bad therapist. A better one would have actually talked to you about the problem at the beginning and have gone from there. * This troper remembers one particular time in high school being called out for seemingly not having any empathy. A girl in his class not long after being expelled - was killed in a car crash, and the entire high school (not very big) was brought together for an assembly, for which this troper was decidedly indifferent. When someone noticed and called him on it later, his response was something to the effect of, "Well, of course my insides aren't having a party, but...what the hell do you want me to do? Be (name of dead girl's best friend, who broke down and staggered out of the auditorium crying in the middle of the assembly, which was admittedly [[TearJerker a bit difficult for anyone with a soul to watch]])? I can't do that. We weren't friends. She [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] hated me, actually." * Two of my friends spring to mind, and until fairly recently myself as well. To wit... in high school, a girl died in a car crash. A girl we all knew. Not well, but we knew her. Small school. She had been friendly with us, we weren't receptive, she kept trying, et cetera. Rather annoying, really. We may have been the only ones at the school who didn't even bother to feign sympathy. I suspect all three of us were glad she died, though I can only speak for myself and the worse of the other two. I've gotten better about empathy. I can still detach myself from a situation with little effort, but at least my default position is to care. The others... not so much. They went a different route. ** On the same note, my sister's ex-boyfriend committed suicide while in the Army. I was invited to the funeral by my weepy-eyed mother. "I don't think that would be appropriate." I looked, presumably, like I was holding in my sorrow. In truth? I was, and am, glad he did it. He was a dick. I was not his friend, he was not mine. I refused to go to his funeral out of respect for the people with whom he was on good terms with, because I didn't give a shit that he died. ** Finally, on a slightly more sympathetic note, I want my grandmother to die. Not because of any reasons you might expect from a complete monster. True she's annoying because her hearing loss means people have to shout to talk to her, but she's one of the few members of my family I like and respect. Yes I'm tired of her making me late for work because my mom has to herd her into the car, but the people I work for understand. These are not my reasons. Those have to do with the fact that she has very late-stage Alzheimer's disease, and has little to no short term memory left at all. Nothing she experiences stays in her head for more than five minutes. Life to her is a constant feeling of "Why aren't I at (my aunt who takes care of her most of the time)'s house? Did I say goodbye? I don't remember it getting to be this late." And so on, and so forth. Living like that cannot be pleasant, especially when everyone around you makes you feel useless. ----

If you go back to LackOfEmpathy, you have no soul. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LaconicWiki * Laconinc Wiki is made of win. Let's face it: most articles are TL;DR. I only read the laconic version (if it's available) and then the examples. * Thank God for the laconic wiki. This Troper didn't figure out just what the hell MarySue meant for ages, because it just wasn't explained properly for someone who'd never heard the term before. The ''{{Yu-GiOh The Abridged Series}}'' quote about GaryStu didn't help either, since it wasn't actually an example of a MartyStu at all, but of RememberTheNewGuy. * [[@/{{Quanyails}} I]] like using the laconic wiki for various tropes I can't be bothered to read through the description as well. With one click, I'm able to get a concise definition... most of the time. * I read the Laconic entries so when people ask me what that book/movie/game is about, I don't have to spend fifteen awkward seconds trying to summarize a complex plot (before giving up) for someone who probably isn't honestly interested.

LadiesAndGerms * I use "Lady, Gentleman, and... little monsters." on my mom, dad, and little brothers, respectively. * This troper once managed to use "Ladies, Gentlemen, and poultry..." * [[{{Aryn}} This Troper]]'s father loves to use "[[JustForPun Boys and Berries...]]" * This troper heard at a friends PhD lecture "Ladies, Gentlemen,... Undergraduates who are here for the buffet" * There was only one guy in my A2 geography class. Needless to say, instructions were prefixed "Ladies and Jamie, ...", and furthermore, Physics class was introduced often with "Ladies, Gentlemen, others and those who haven't decided yet." * This troper has heard "ladies and gentlefuckers" more often than is probably reasonable. * [[{{Xifihas}} This Troper]] is a frequenter of the Role Playing #1 chatroom on Kongregate. When making a formal entry to the room (rather than jumping in with a jab at a user's poor spelling, grammar or sentence structure) I will enter with "Good morning/afternoon/evening Ladies, Gentlemen and Gentlemen who pretend to be ladies". * When my brother was younger, he used to use 'Babies and Mentalhens'. As a teenager, he's far too cool for that now. * [[@/RainehDaze This Troper]] has heard teachers using the exact phrasing of the troper name a ridiculous number of times. I've also managed to be the addition ''at the same time''. Why that's necessary still eludes me. * I've used "Ladies, aliens, and mutants" when feeling especially snarky.

* My elementary school gym teacher had an extended version of this: "Ladies and gentlemen, gerbils and hamsters, alligators and crocodiles... etc. " almost veering into [overly long gag] territory * Once a Chinese political leader (either President or Premier, not sure) said in the start of a huge meeting: "Ladies, Gentlemen, and Comrades". Extra hilarity because "comrade" in contemporary Chinese slang means LGBT people. * This LGBT troper is waiting for a chance to use 'ladies, gentlemen, gentlemen who are ladies, ladies who are gentlemen, and those who are in between'. * This troper's history teacher addresses us as "Ladies and Gits" * This troper's DM overlord tends to use "Jade Eels and lentilmen". * [[Tropers/AdelePotter My]] youth group leader greets us with, "Ladies, gentlemen, aliens, fruits, and all other organisms!" * This Troper has an upcoming one-liner for an {{anime}}-based fanfic: "Ladies and gentlemen...and uh, [[AmbiguousGender you]]," * I used this while on my school play:''Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, hermaphrodites and asexuals and thoses who have yet to decide...'' ---Ladies, gentlemen, esteemed tropers of the tropes, may I present [[LadiesAndGerms a link to the main page]]. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LadyDrunk * [[{{Tropers/Gabriel Gloom}} My]] mother, and at least four of my aunts fit the "BottleFairy-but-older" version, and my sister is [[BottleFairy shaping up to be this]] too.

LadyOfWar * A character of mine narrowly subverts this in that she has no regard for lives and is very quick to kill anyone in the party's way. * [[ThisTroper This Troper's]] OC, [[{{The Ingenue}} Aki Chung Feng]], is an example of one. For (almost) every single appearance she makes, she either wears a {{Quipao}} or a {{Quipao}} blouse, uses a halbred axe to fight on the rare occasion when she must fight, and she is very beautiful. But, she's also a {{Broken Bird}} {{Bishoujo}} who watched her mother die in front of her eyes, was revealed to be an illegitamite child, and almost saw the love of her life almost die after she confessed her feelings to him. Fortunately, [[{{It Gets Better}} he gets better]]. * Girl in my class COMPLETELY embodies this {{trope}}. She is very... elegant i believe the word is, and i have seen her fight, damn it's sexy and terrifying and oddly fitting when she beats some guy/girl up especially when she's wearin a skirt. * One Christmas my Uncle gave me a card in which he wrote on the inside that I was a Warrior Princess. Of course it was during the time

period where my older brother and I ended up having frequent wrestling matches (i always won). * I once did a story Free Trader Captain's Wife in {{Traveller}} whose husband was besieged by a party of local rebels. She went into the office of the local garrison commander and received nothing but a "proposition" from a commander hoping to take advantage of her desperation. In a rage she turned and asked the sentry, "How much are you paid?" and then, "How long since you were paid". Then she said, "I can promise you three months in cash and five more in credit if you will come with me to rescue my husband." At that of course all the soldiers started getting interested. The ungentlemanly commander complained,"You're inciting mutiny". Whereupon she said,"I'm a merchant. Your government won't keep it's contract to it's servants. So now I'm 'forecloseing'. They're MY army now." * [[{{Tropers/Joerc45}} This troper]] was an acquaintance to a young woman who was a black belt in his Tae Kwon Do class, and was very [[{{Bleach}} Rukia-esque]] in appearance. On one occasion, I saw her wearing a [[PimpedOutDress beautiful dress]] at a party. Needless to say, she looked mind-blowing. :) * In college, ThisTroper met an awesome young woman who was a TallDarkAndBishoujo {{Badass}} fencer as part of an informal sparring group. Sadly ThisTroper was forced out of school shortly thereafter so there wasn't much chance to make friends or anything. Still, at least from a cursory view she appeared to fit this trope exactly. * ThisTroper plays one in a {{Pokemon}} RP. She's a [[{{Mon}} Gardevoir]] and a [[CareerKillers mercenary]]. ** ....Would this Gardie happen to be named Alice, perchance? *** I, too, wish to aquire this information. * My character in White Wolf's {{Hunter: The Vigil}} embodies this {{trope}}. With dual wielding arm blades and guns akimbo status. She appreciates high class and etiquette and didn't blink twice in murdering her groom on the altar...but he had it coming. I find it interesting exploring a fashionista with expensive taste and design with a ruthless cool and collected attitude when called to battle. * This Troper is writing a story set in {{Warhammer40000}} where the FiveManBand's commander (an [[ChurchMilitant Imperial Inquisitor]]) is pretty clearly this. Oddly enough, she actually ''is'' paired off with the main character, unlike most Ladies of War, although that grew from a LesYay RelationshipWritingFumble and has now evolved to be a PetTheDog seeing as she's also the resident ice queen. * This troper's Pathfinder Bard was close to being this, being a young lady from an aristocratic family with an AC of 45, a ways above that of the main tank fighter. However her habit of cannibalising previous paramores hinders such a classification. * [[@/{{Seiryu}} This troper's]] good friend is the local social butterfly, able to fit into any social gathering comfortably, [[TheFashionista has the perfect dress to go with any occasion,]] and is skilled in Tae Kwon Do and Akido. Mess with her or any of her {{Nakama}}, and she will beat you within an inch of your life.

LagCancel

* Just now, I faced the lag of doom while playing AQWorlds, which lasted over 10 minutes and nothing was happening on screen. The avatars didn't load properly and whatever actions during the lag took forever, but as soon as I moved to another screen, the lag caused the attack animation to load quicker. it was like doom. * Once, while playing ''GarrysMod'' for the first time on a newlybuilt computer, I discovered that it had not loaded up the sounds, models, or ''reload times'' for any of the CounterStrike weapons. This meant that I had silent guns that were displayed as giant red "ERROR" messages and that reloaded instantly. Oh, and reloading resets the delay between shots. This meant that holding down the reload key meant a signifigant increase in fire rate for automatic weapons, and semiautomatics would fire as quickly as I clicked. The Desert Eagle was.. fun. Unfortunately, this fixed itself.

LameComeback * [[@/RedWren This troper]] has found an insult that is effective ''only'' if followed directly by this. She has used it on the same person several times, and it goes something like this every time, not always with the parenthetical: -->'''Me:''' ''[deadpan]'' Hey, [name]. Your comebacks.\\ '''[Name]:''' ''[sputters]'' (...Are better than yours!\\ '''Me:''' No they're not.\\ '''[Name]:''' ''[gives up]'') * [[Tropers/MegTheMaggot I]] have lame comebacks down to an art form. I make ScottPilgrim look quick-witted. ** Woah, that's bad. * This troper usually just ends up saying "You...!" with no follow up. Well, except that one time where she attempted an ending and ended up with "... hunk..." intending to go on to calling the guy a hunk of something bad, like... well, she still doesn't know. In retrospect, she probably should have at least said "hunk ''of''..." before leaving it at an awkward pause. * I was once had a class with a guy whose last name was St. Aubin who burned another person in class. The other person's comeback was "At least my last name isn't St. Aubin!"... What. ----

LameRhymeDodge * This troper has a coworker who [[BerserkButton hates the word]] "fester." When I [[DidIJustSayThatOutLoud accidentally said it around him once]], he gave me a near DeathGlare and asked, "What did you say?" I replied, "Um...buster?" * Most people in our class do this when the teacher asks "what did you just say???" when she hears someone swearing (which is often) * This troper had an english teacher that was oblivious to... almost everything. Once, before a test, my friend said, "Oh, hell..." The teacher asked what she said. I replied, "She said, "I won't do well".

LanguageOfLove * [[Tropers/DesertDragon This troper]] had a one-night stand with a deaf guy in college. Since this troper doesn't know sign language (though he would have learned if the relationship turned serious) and his paramour couldn't read lips, let's just say Language of Love is very much TruthInTelevision. ** You slept with a deaf guy o.O * Sort of attempted by a friend of [[Tropers/DaNuke Da_Nuke]], who can't speak English but is working on learning the bare minimum English he needs to get laid in Canada. Which is actually very little: in a rehearsal, they found out all the phrases he needs to know are "Hi, how are you?", "What do you do?", "Are you Canadian?", "You like this music?", "You wanna dance?", "You want to go to my place?", and "I have a condom". ** I applaud your minimal effort. ---[[LanguageOfLove * ^* ^* ^* ^\\|0()||** |``~`~~`\\)(|||///** ---_** ]] ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LargeAndInCharge * My Friend Race(yes that's really his name) is 6'6 290 pounds, a master orator, and quite literally the "big man on campus". * Aversion: this troper is large, but not in charge of anyone...because the only person he needs to be in charge of is [[OneManArmy himself]]. * Aversion: nearly everyone in this tropers school knows him, yet he is about average height. Interestingly, there are some students who are about 7 foot tall in my year. Sometimes, I wonder whether they are eating plant grower or something similar... * My friend and I deliberately played with this in that in a comic we were making together. One of the main characters was a princess and she stood taller than absolutely anyone else in the story. Until she was in a neighboring kingdom and the Prince of said kingdom was revealed as being taller than she was in their [[LoveBubbles love bubbles]] decorated introduction panel. ---Go back to LargeAndInCharge? You got it, boss! Please don't hurt me. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LargeHam ---* ThisTroper had a history teacher who was extremely fond of mock trials and simulations. Two weeks into the class, I had to defend the Catholic Church during the Reformation. The result included me pretending to punch out one of my teammates in order to prove a point about divine forgiveness. Things only escalated from there. My final

"performance" was as [[AxCrazy Robespierre]] in the trial of Louis XVI. My presentation opened up with me dramatically unveiling a homemade, working, miniature guillotine and only escalated from there. The result: I aced the class. * Today, my teacher called me (Phil) out on being this trope... he was comparing the dramatic nature of me and someone else in the class-- he said "Joe is more of an emotional dramatic, while Phil is just a ham." * I was in class and I could not resist when my teacher said the word "beg." I went "Beg, '''ON YOUR KNEES!!!!'''" A few people actually laughed. * ''[[@/{{EPIC}} This Troper]] is the absolute epitome of this trope!'' I wear earphones often and loud is my natural volume of voice. Even his whispers are audible! Him being a CuteShotaroBoy with a voice that hasn't cracked yet, you could say that he's [[{{ptitle0oz11ebp3lfe}} Yotsuba's]] SpearCounterpart. ** His YaoiFangirl friend is also one: she's a lot like Yuki Nagato with more peppy. But ''[[MemeticMutation she can yell!]]'' * This troper and her sister are both incredibly large hams. Often we will get into spur of the moment ham fights, where we will spout inane quotes '''DRAMATICALLY''' at eachother, complete with poses and the occasional little jig. * ThisTroper has the honor and fortune of portraying the main character of the obscure comedy "The Foreigner," who begins rather meek but by the final scene is hamming it up so much it seems to distort reality. * This Troper is acting in a junior counselor at her church's summer bible camp. This year, the counselors and other volunteers are putting on skits based off the life of Saint Patrick. She gets to be the person who buys patrick from pirates, MIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLCHHHUUUUUUUUUUU, WHO IS DEEEEPLY OFFENDED AT THAT COMMENT, BUT HAS THE PEEEEEERRRFECT JOOOOB FOR YOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU. A SHEPARD, TO HIS FLLLLLLOCK. * ThisTroper has a literature professor. A very enthusiastic one who reserves the greater part of his enthusiasm for reading things aloud. So, when it's time for Main/TheEpicOfGilgamesh... ** [[GwenStacyWannabe This troper]]'s English teacher is also this way. What makes it even funnier is that he is a self-proclaimed [[ShrinkingViolet antisocial]]. ** If it has "Epic" in the title, this troper will bloody well MAKE IT EPIC. [[AC: Reed hut, reed hut!]] Reading Caesar's De Bello Gallico with a teacher obsessed with the Godfather movies was an... interesting experience... * This troper is a large ham. Just ask the his co-stars in the plays he's been in. * This troper will confess to being a LargeHam at times, along with her younger brother and sister. Said troper loves reading aloud, even when no one is around/is listening. She and her siblings also love randomly quoting various movies and/or TV shows and/or singing showtunes. * This troper's normally very quiet husband is actually quite a big ham...he's just sneaky about it. When he was drafted to play the ghost of Hamlet's father at the Renaissance faire one year -- a role for

which he was given all of five seconds to prepare -- he electrified all their friends in attendance by not only speaking more than four words at one time, but punctuating his speech with hand gestures, silly intonations, and goofy facial expressions. As one of their friends commented, "I think he's just spoken more at one time than in the entire three years I've known him." * This Troper's faction in ''The Matrix Online'' were in a player event where the objective was to defend an NPC, seems easy enough, until we realised that we were the ONLY faction on our side that had made it to the checkpoint in time, and that ''two'' full enemy factions were attacking. This Troper and his crew logged in about halfway into the event, our faction was pinned down but holding their own, we stealthily got on our factions teamspeak server, hearing everyone panicking, and set up our whole crew completely set up, buffed and armed. I Jumped down into the alley where the main fight was taking place, and to announce my presence I punted (A sneak attack that involves a groin kick from behind) the enemies leader and bellowed into the TS server "DID SOMEBODY ORDER A LARGE HAM!?" signalling the rest of the crew to jump down guns blaring. We managed to save the NPC in the end (just barely) and even managed to fully quote the 'big damn heroes' exchange during. ** MadeOfWin And [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome Awesome]]. * THis troper straddles between this and CloudCuckoolander at the drop of a hat, often at the same time! * This Troper acts like this when doing skits or making speeches in class. Its most effective when he doesn't feel like actually saying anything and just amusing people with over the top hand gestures. ** This troper did an essay on vandalism for a school project on criminal activity and read it in an over-the-top Chris Farley-like manner. * The headmaster in this tropers school seems incabable of speaking in a normal tone of voice. Instead he tends to loudly bellow whatever he has to say, even when he just says hello when you walk past him in the hallway. He's a really nice guy but peopel who don't know him tend to get freaked out when he appears behind them and says something. * This Troper saw a production of Crazy For You just over a year ago. The guy who played Bobby was a large ham but un the best possible way. His quirky acting, awesome Hungarian accent, and how he had such a calm facial expression while he tapdanced up a storm. Completely overthe-top and in the best possible way. * [[DaNuke Da_Nuke]]'s social studies teacher. When he's teaching class... EVERYTHING HE SAYS, HE SAYS IT LIKE THIS, PEOPLE! And when describing the true story of a national hero, ''HIS ENTIRE! CLASSROOM! WAS PAYING! ATTENTION!!!'' Needless to say, his large-hamness and constant ''Main/TheElderScrolls III: Morrowind'' [[Main/ShoutOut Shout Outs]] were so amusing, he quickly became the entire generation's favorite teacher and friend forever (just to let you know, he's currently dating the hottest, most popular girl from two generations below!). * The person This Troper is [[AllLoveIsUnrequited in love with from afar]] is a real life Large Ham, who has been known to do such things as randomly start speaking like Shaggy and Jack Sparrow, dance like

Michael Jackson even though no one is playing any music, do snarky gestures mocking the director's big inspirational speeches, talk on his glasses like a cell phone and walk in Matrix-style slo-mo. This Troper jokes that the way to make a hit comedy is to lock him in a room alone for three hours with a video camera. Oh, and his initials are [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotSymbolic JC]]. * This troper is a real ham in general. So much so that he got cast as Gaston in his company's production of ''Beauty And The Beast'', it also helps that his catchphrase is "I EAT SCENERY FOR BREAKFAST!". * The hammier the voice, the better this troper can imitate it. ** That is the precist reason why this troper here got cast as Gaston in his company production of ''Beauty And The Beast''. *** '''"NOBODY [[ChewingTheScenery CHEWS SCENERY]] LIKE GASTON!!!"''' * This troper's 11th Grade English classmate is a very large ham, and did a reading of Parris from the Crucible with a '''CAPTAIN GORDON, DEFENDER OF EARTH''' style of voice, and Foghorn leghorn's accent. Level-breaker? sure, but pretty damn hysterical. ** Seriously? I think that guy must be [[GwenStacyWannabe my]] classmate's long-lost twin brother. He's one of exactly three people in our class that is actually ''good'' at reading things aloud... * This troper's college choir director was ''very'' hammy when he conducted. Some days it was all she could do to keep a straight face. * This troper was not blessed with an indoor voice. ** Neither was this troper. Though, in his not-so-humble opinion, an indoor voice is not a "blessing". *** This troper doesn't even need one. He's so loud and bombtastic that he got the part of Gaston in his company's production of Beauty And The Beast- he can also do Gaston's voice quite well and acted in character throughout the entire day. ** This troper prefers to say she "projects well." * This best describes how this troper acted during a class production of ''The Importance of Being Earnest''. Justified, due to the nature of the play. If you had heard my laugh... * This troper is a {{Large Ham}}. I speak loudly, laugh maniacally because it's fun, and am generally a ham. I love it. ** This troper does the same too, but sometimes he does beatbox and make various sound effects. * ThisTroper is a LargeHam, but only when he is acting. At Pinecrest, it is now a running joke to shout '''"HE IS A FAKE!!"''' ** Pinecrest, New York? Is that you, [[spoiler:Casey or Robbie]]? * ThisTroper is such a LargeHam it's contagious, to the point that he can bellow '''Dramatic PAUSE!''' and everyone will immediately strike the most random, terribly dramatic pose they can think of and hold it. * This troper is also a large ham, and got cast as Stanley in a reading of ''A Streetcar Named Desire'' as a result. Too bad I can't do the correct accent, although nobody seemed to notice - they were all transfixed by my '''''incredible... HAMMINESS!!!''''' ** A similar thing happened when this troper here got cast as Gaston in his company's production of Beauty And The Beast, and to make it even better- he stayed in character throughout the entire day of rehearsal. Several Crowning Moments Of Awesome and Funny occured on and off stage. It also helped that he could do Gaston's voice

impersonation extremely well. --> ''Casting Director: You, you'll be playing the part of Gaston. How good are you at acting?'' --> ''Troper: (loudly) I'M GRRRRRREAT!''. --> ''Casting Director: You'll need to act as arrogant and boastful as possible. Can you do that?'' --> ''Troper: Sure. No problem!''. --> ''Casting Director: Very good. Now say that again, but say it in a way that Gaston would say it''. --> ''Troper (as Gaston): No one boasts like Gaston!''. --> ''Casting Director: Bravo..... That!Was!Fantastic!.'' *** ''This'' troper is amused by the number of people getting the part of Gaston on this page. *** You stole my words, brother. **** '''NOBODY STEALS WORDS LIKE GASTON!''' *** This troper has been noting that the phrasing is always along the lines of 'my company's production of Beauty and the Beast', and thinks it's just one person repeatedly mentioning it. * This troper plays DungeonsAndDragons with a real life HotBlooded LargeHam who enjoys striking epic poses in the middle of otherwise mundane conversations. Not surprisingly, he's a Gurren Lagann fan. * I have two ecamples. ** My High School Euro History teacher. To teach us about the French Revolution the man ''Set stuff on fire in the classroom.'' ** Myself, of course! It helps in my public speaking. However, to aid it I am going to take an acting class this upcoming term at my college. * This troper has been known to wax hammy on occasion while playing various video games, [[RolePlayingGames [=RPGs=]]] especially. The effect is somewhat ruined by the fact that ''no-one can hear him, the characters he's hamming at least of all''. * WVI: In my (seriously, people, quit it with the "This Troper" stuff) public speaking class, some of us wanted to ham up our speeches when we had to recite others'. However, in an unrelated case, when the whole class was just relaxing and gathering information from anywhere, the teacher got into a little argument with one of the speeches, where, some time in, he said in a rather loud voice, "[[AFewGoodMen I WANT THE TRUTH]]!". Naturally, this was the cue for practically the ''entire class'' to get up, fingers pointed, and yell back. The people next class over must've thought we were nuts. AND WE WERE! ''AH HA HA HA HA!'' * This troper is more of a NoIndoorVoice person than a true blue LargeHam, but all the same - people start looking at her funny if she's not actively trying to speak quietly. More traditionally, she doesn't think she's ever had more fun in her entire high school career than when she played the villain in her group's melodrama in third year drama. * Normally, [[{{Joysweeper}} This Troper]] is more painfully shy than anything. But there was a point when someone even more painfully shy and asocial that she kind of dislikes had stammered that she wanted to be roommates. Hopped up on a strange mix of distaste, anxiety, and inner optimism, this troper hammered on her door, told her "We have to

get to know each other!" and proceeded to forcefully lecture her on things like rules (Lights out by midnight! I get up early! No loud music!) and her personal preferences (Dragons are ''awesome''), complete with hand gestures and weird little aggressive head-jerks. She may have brought up Birds Are Dinosaurs, phyllogenically, and she may have said something derogative about fundamentalists. Would-beroomate looked terrified, in retrospect, and withdrew the request. Crisis averted, thanks to a SURPRISE ATTACK... of HAM! * Depending on her mood (she has a reputation to uphold) and who's watching (due to a painful amount of stage fright), DarkInsanity13 can be this at times. She acts her hammiest around her family (particularly her brother), often spouting dramatic [[ShoutOut Shout Outs]] and other things. Give her the right part (and maybe blindfold her), and this troper's drama level will be '''[[MemeticMutation OVER NINE THOOOOOUUUSAND!!!!]]''' Her brother is a ham when he can be one, often to get laughs out of people. Her father, on the other hand, is only a ham when it either scares people or freaks them out. * [[SeanTucker This troper]] is often rather soft-spoken. Key word: [[BewareTheNiceOnes often.]] I fucking shook my house by yelling out '''"[[LeeroyJenkins LEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOY JENKINS!!!!]]"''' over Xbox Live, and that isn't mentioning the time I was asked my name on the first day of Communications Application class... I started by saying "Hello..." and finished by shouting '''[[ThisIsSparta "MY NAME! IS! SEAN! TUCKER!!"]]''' at a volume that would give [[SuperRobotWars Sanger Zonvolt]] hearing loss. Teacher's response: [[CaptainObvious "...sweet Jesus that was loud."]] * {{Temascos}} enjoys being hammy when bored or acting with friends. Even opening the fridge to get a beer became a 15 minute dramatic exchange between my friend and I! Shakespeare is also great to do, Mercuio's death in Romeo and Juliet resulting in me dying in an ultradramatic pose... easily topping everyone else who spoke in a static voice. ** My best friend acts that way too, he's a ''Transformers'' addict and often starts singing the theme song at random and sometimes goes as far as imitating the characters. Also...he's known to do a terrifically hammy impersonation of Venom from ''Spiderman''. * [[JuiceBoxHero This troper]] is known to combine incredible hamminess with [[CloudCuckooLander her natural way of thinking]], with [un]predictable results such as jumping on chairs, [[BigNo big "Nos"]], ''demanding a dramatic fanfare of humming from onlookers'' (and ''getting it'' on more than one occasion, in the form of the theme tune that plays when you open a treasure chest in TheLegendOfZelda), berating her own reflection for refusing to open a locked glass door, and giving many hammy motivational speeches. Plenty of times when appropriate, she also injects a healthy dose of PatrioticFervor. * I had so much fun dramatically reading PeterChimera fan fiction. ** Same here! His book is full of awesome stuff its insane, including Einstein bellowing out ''MY THROAT!!'' before punching Thomas Edison through a wall. Oh, and SherlockHolmes battling a kraken and going home with the woman who hired him for some ''hot coffee''. * ThisTroper singlehandedly got the drama team' performance of ''The

Crucible'' to go from a bunch of mumbling kids to an actual performance through the sheer power of ham. While trying for the role of John Proctor, I fell to my knees and shouted "LEAVE ME MY NAAAAAAAME!" Needless to say, I got the role. * This Troper is in academic decathlon. In it, we students teach each other the subjects (history, economics, science, etc.) and its usually rather boring. This Troper made everyone pay attention by YELLING EVERYTHING when teaching. * I think [[SharmHedgehog I]] fit the bill. -->'''Me''': Just saying blandly, "Did somebody order a pepperoni pizza?" is not funny. Breaking down someone's door, wearing a Stormtrooper outfit, thrusting the pizza box into the air and then shouting, "Did somebody order a ''pepperoni and cheese'' '''''PIZZA!!??'''''" Now THAT's funny! * This troper's seventh-grade teacher. He was actually an odd blend of this and HandsomeLech. You could hear him from way across the hall if you were just walking along. ** This troper's school fitness instructor Scott was an extreme example of this. He was exactly like Richard Simmons. And Monday, Wednesday and Fridays made the students take part in a ridiculous activity called Jump Jam where they had to dance like idiots to some extremely outdated music. He often showboated- in a most over-the-top manner. Then a group of the older students in the school put on a hammy showboating dance routine ''every breaktime'' by dancing to teen pop like Britney Spears, sometime it can be [[SoBadItsGood utterly ridiculous and poorly done but at the same time hillarious]] but other times such as when they play anything from High School Musical it becomes [[SoBadItsHorrible so irritating, idiotic and just plain bad that it's just so painful and unbearable to watch]] The funniest one is when they danced to "I Like Big Butts" by Sir Mix A Lot. They were like the dancing hippos in ''Fantasia''. * This troper once got the part of Scrooge in a seventh grade play. by going full force ham during the script reading. Awesome fun. Of course, the classmates were boring but still... * This troper once used mighty ham-energy to instruct her boyfriend on how to [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotAwesome APPLY STAGE MAKEUP ... STEP! BY! STEP!!]] * Nearly all of {{Nausicaa}}'s English professors are like this, especially a certain Shakespeare expert who shall remain nameless. He combines hearty portions of [[LargeHam ham]], [[HotBlooded hot blood]] and a few [[PrecisionFStrike Precision F Strikes]] often thrown in for good measure. And it is ''awesome''. He'll read passages from the play we're studying out in lectures, complete with dramatic gestures like standing up on a desk that he had ''specifically pulled to the front of the lecture theatre'' for that very purpose in our {{Hamlet}} lecture, pretending to have his eye gouged out in a KingLear lecture and generally hamming it up while reading Iago's EstablishingCharacterMoment. But that's not the best thing. He manages to do this at nine o' clock on a Friday morning. [[OnceAnEpisode Every. Friday. Morning]]. ** And she isn't immune to the power of '''HAM''' either. Especially when she decides to go into one of her riffs or [[{{U2}} Bono]]

impressions. * This troper's raiding guild in ''WorldOfWarcraft'' has maintained a pretty consistent roster of officers since Blackwing Lair days, and the officers are pretty laid-back or business-like... with the exception of the druid officer and head healer, who also happens to be a massive lore geek. The concept of a hammy healer sounds strange until you hear him shouting "MALYGOS! I will HEAL these people UNTIL THEY KILL YOU! And I WILL HELP!" on vent. * This troper had a German teacher who also organized the theater club (and was very good at it, bringing plays by {{Shakespeare}} and Goethe's ''Faust'' on stage). He was very funny, too. And a good athlete (shot put) too. And a good pianist. * Go to a place where ''{{Warhammer 40000}}'' is played, find a game where neither player is the SeriousBusiness type. Watch the ham fly. * This is my very favorite trope. Be it a grab for attention or the hilarity of glorifying the mundane, it's always lots of fun. ** [[FreeVerse This Troper]]: Watch closely as I deftly flip these eggs in a needlessly dramatic fashion... ''WATCH CLOSELY! AS IF YOUR '''LIVES''' DEPEND ON IT!'' For, indeed, if you are as inept as I suspect you are, you would surely '''starve''' were it not for ''these... Very...'' '''Eggs.''' * This troper wishes he'd have a time machine. He'd make English class fun again, since he was far too shy to do it the first time around. Plus he's gotten a bit hammier when he's having fun of late. * [[SapphireFlame this troper]] is normally rather soft-spoken and doesn't say much... [[NotSoAboveItAll unless he's around sufficiently silly people. ]]. Then, he MORPHS into an epic... HAM! Apparently, by the reactions of some of the people in my school, hearing someone who's normally TheQuietOne talk like that IS. IN. ITSELF. ''FUNNY''! ** Are you me? *** No, he's obviously me. * A natural quality, further exaggerated by knowledge of Latin and an ominous look. I also have a tendency to shout "Innocentia nihil probat!" whenever the occasion manifests itself. * This troper just read all of the above examples out loud dramatically. * This troper is usually [[ShrinkingViolet painfully shy]], but once she gets comfortable enough, especially around fellow oddballs, her inner LargeHam manifests. * This Tropette's [[LargeHam haminess]] really shines in her part in her class' production of The Wiz. As evidenced by the following exchange: --> Crew Guy: Hey, we found a green suit for you to wear. --> Me: YES! A GREEN SUIT!!! THAT'S THE LUCKIEST THING EVER!!!! --> Crew Guy: Uhh.... Go try it on, then. --> Me: * comes back wearing suit, freaks out* This IS JUST SO AWESOME!!!!! WOW!!!!! * This troper is a bit of a drama queen in real life, to the point where I overreact to things with loud exclamations of swear words. Usually at inappropriate times. Like wedding receptions. Weddings of family members, to be exact. To make things even better, I'm an actor, and am only rarely cast in a role that really requires hamminess.

Naturally, when I got to be the Narrator / Mysterious Man in ''IntoTheWoods'', I had the time of my life, doing things like dramatically echoing my own lines as the Mysterious Man ("You'd be lucky to trade her for a sack of '''''BEANS!''''' '''Beans!''' ''Beans!'' Beans...") and [[GivingSomeoneThePointerFinger Giving the Audience A Dramatic]] [[AceAttorney Phoenix Wright-esque]] [[GivingSomeoneThePointerFinger Pointer Finger]] as I bellowed '''"To be continued!"''' Ahhh, I wish I got those kinds of roles more often. * I knew this one Catholic kid in 11th grade English class. When asked to read out a play script, he does it with terrifying enthusiasm. He's freaky by my standards (and that's saying something as I'm freaky and I don't give out such labels freely). * [[NegativeZero This troper]] is basically a [[FakeBrit British]] [[BritishStuffiness person]], [[MemeticMutation In America!]] So to me ''everyone'' is a LargeHam. This is worse because I am in 11th grade right now and SurroundedByIdiots. * While not always a LARGE HAM, this troper honestly believes that some things are ''made'' to be overacted. He enjoys doing his EvilOverlord voice, occasionally sweeps a towel back over his shoulder like a cape, and...well, if you see a set of double doors where a geek is attempting to replicate the classic movie look of someone pushing them open, that's him. Oh yeah, and there's his Scottish BriefAccentImitation whenever he gets a dwarf card in {{Munchkin}}, which may not be technically hammy but is just too much fun not to mention. * One of [[{{PictureFrame}} this troper's]] high school drama mates was a LargeHam... he actually played many of the parts listed in production, most memorabley Jonathan Brewster. The guy was so hammy that whenever she hears [[SeventeenSeventySix "The Lees of Old Virginia"]] all she can hear is his voice. * [[RitiTroll I]] once took a Shakespeare class over summer for my school (Mostly for going to London and Oxford for 10 days, but also because I genuinely liked Shakespeare) that had three professors. When we read King Lear, the oldest of the three, who sometimes seems to be a crotchety old man, read one of Lear's lines, he let it all out and nearly hit me with a table. He apologized later. (I also have had two other classes with him, and he does get hammy in those two.) * This troper runs several role-playing games, where he and many of his players can be guaranteed to be large hams. Including: 1) The Paladin (who is also the stereotype), 2) Whatever 1 of his players is, the character will be a bizarre type, and often is a large ham. 3) The party successfully acquires a magic sword. A talking magic sword. A loud, obnoxious talking sword... you get the idea. ** Of course, this troper's Cthulhu game master takes the cake, with his various "Sean Connery" accent characters. * I have a relative who is a Large Ham. If attention is not being given to them at any given moment, they will collect it by any means. I love them and everything, but good lord they are loud. * This troper also has the potential for being a Large Ham, but mostly while at his job... as a cashier. Bringing coupons into my line will result in an epic declaration that you saved money when I'm done with them. I am now a favorite of many customers.

* This troper knew full well, before reading a passage in ''All Quiet on the Western Front'' to her class, that nobody would pay attention. So... of course she resorted to reading it in a very Large Ham voice. (And resisted the urge to have Paul Baumer yell, "DID SOMEBODY ORDER A LARGE HAM?" in the middle of a bombardment.) People listened fairly closely and she became associated with "a dramatic reading of ''All Quiet on the Western Front''" for the rest of the year. * {{Excel-2009}}. In high school I took a public speaking class. The teacher is the same one who runs the theater and stage productions. He has gray hair and is well-loved for his slight eccentricity and outgoing nature. It's been a few years since then and my sister is in his theater class now. She tells me he is growing a beard. If that's true, then he's only one ripped shirt, oiled chest and magical sword away from the greatest medieval hero in the history of the world. * [[{{sgrunt}} This troper]] learned he was a LargeHam in high school. Apart from his dramatic stage antics which brought this out, the most memorable instances involved a daily card game with his then circle of friends in which he went as over the top as possible: ->'''This troper:''' ''(upon moving up a place in the rankings from last to second last)'' My [[XanatosRoulette ridiculously complicated plot to win the game]] is '''[[BoldInflation ONE QUARTER]] ''[[BoldInflation COMPLETE]]!'' [[EvilLaugh MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!]]''' * [[HilarityEnsues Hilarity usually ensued]]. ** This troper further recalls a Crowning Moment of LargeHam from one of the last productions put on during his time in high school: ->'''This troper:''' ''(storms onto stage)'' Now '''JUST''' a minute, everybody! ''' ''WHO'S GOT MY SHOES!?''' ''' ->'''Actress:''' Shoes!? '''SHOES!?''' ->'''This troper:''' Now, come across! ''' ''SOMEBODY'' ''' in here's got them, ''' ''AND I MEAN TO KNOW WHO!'' ''' ** The very first time this troper spoke the first line in character, [[HilarityEnsues it was too much for the rest of the cast to take]]. It eventually reached the point where the sheer level of ham elevated every time we ran the scene. Of course, this was topped later by the even more over-the-top monologue delivered by another actress later in the play, but that's way too long for this troper to remember. * This troper remembers a classmate from middle school. He was one of the smallest boys in class but he got pretty hammy, ESPECIALLY when he talked about his story "Bob The Magic Caterpillar". * In eighth grade, this troper was in musical/infomercial called "We Haz Jazz!" It's about this kid who just loves jazz and all of his Jazzer Friends such as Louis Armstrong, Ma Rainey, Ella Fitzgerald, and THELONIOUS! MONK! His friends learn about the roots of jazz from the Jazzers, and the entire company is waiting for THE THELONIOUS MONK! to make his appearance, so this jazz jam can really get started. In eighth grade, I was a tall, busty, athletic, blonde, blue-eyed girl. Let's just say I felt extremely awkward playing a tall, lean, cool, black guy. But as soon as I realized I could use my Rev. Jeremiah Wright voice, I was set. I was only in the last scene, and boy, did I ham it up. I pimp-walked to the center of the stage, and I delivered my monologue about the future of jazz with great style and aplomb. And even though you could see my pale, white face, people said

I sounded exactly like a black man crossed with William Shatner. Win! * I am a Large Ham indeed. My typical "opening line" when I see someone is either I HAAAAAAAAVE ARRIVED!" or "I AM HERE TO GRACE YOU WITH MY WONDROUS PRESENCE!" and so on. My friend has described me as a combination of this and CrazyAwesome, the second one literally worded. * This troper's father always puts a lot of emphasis on words that he thinks are important. He also tends to say words with an accent if he thinks that it'll make him sound funnier, and obsessively makes [[IncrediblyLamePun Incredibly Lame Puns]] and [[ShoutOut Shout Outs]]. I find him rather annoying. * This troper. The twist is that she uses it to disguise how [[SelfDeprecation melodramatic]] she is. Whenever she feels like she's overreacting she starts flailing and screaming things like "KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!" or "WHY DO YOU HATE AMERICA!?!?!?" to defuse the situation. * [[NotSoBadassLongcoat This troper]], from a lack of better battlecry, shouted "I SHALL PUNISH YOU WITH A [[BrianBlessed BLESSED]] [[LargeHam LARRRRRRGE HAAAAAAM]]!" while rolling dice for damage during a LegendOfTheFiveRings session. Cue a lot of rerolls, aptly called "exploding dice", ending in a one-hit-kill. Against a heavily armored zombie samurai. * This troper is amazed (but not at all surprised) how many stories above imply involvement in some sort of theatrical production or department. He left a bit of a reputation himself in his high school theatre department, where, over the course of four years, he played such ham-tastic roles as a hyperactive monkey in ''The Jungle Book'', a crotchety old Merlin, an incredibly sleazy villain in an obscure children's play, and, to top it all of, an incredibly flamboyant Magic Mirror in a production of Snow White. He also dressed in full pirate regalia every so often, just for the hell of it. * [[{{LordNadir}} This Troper]] was press ganged into a friend's production of [[{{Sophocles}} Antigone]] as the part of Tiresias. He was later described by said friend as more like {{TheLionKing}}'s [[CloudCuckooLander Rafiki]] than a blind prophet. * This troper commonly acts like a LargeHam to fool people into thinking he has one goal when he has another he does not want them to know about. I am a MagnificentBastard, and I am the same guy who said he set up a drugee on the Troper tales Chessmaster page. My most famous quote? "I will not break or move until I have what I desire...the power that I covet!" * This troper has had many a LargeHam moment in her life, but the most memorable was when I decided/was encouraged during a college English class to lisp the lines of Shakespeare's ''Richard III'', earning myself the nickname of "Gay Richard". * During a picnic for Kumon students, a water fight was planned. All the kids had decided that it was "Kids vs Supervisors". I had completely forgotten about the water fight...so I was given a water pistol. I chose to stand around and scream "[[Warhammer40000 FOR THE EMPIRE!]]" ala Commisar. * This troper is, by and large, a DeadpanSnarker. But put a controller in my hands and start up a round of SuperSmashBros or (even worse) MarioKart, and you'll be treated to a SlasherSmile, cries of

"[[Series/DoctorWho EXTERMINATE!]]", "WhyWontYouDie?", or "[[Warhammer40K blood for the Blood God, skulls for the Skull Throne!]]", {{Evil Laugh}}s mixed with the occasional [[GigglingVillain (genuinely creepy) giggle]], and [[CutHisHeartOutWithASpoon a variety of ridiculously bombastic threats]]. Then the game ends, and I return just as quickly to my normal self. * This troper, when attempting to act, alternates between this and [[BadBadActing acting a little bit too realistically]]. She has recently decided to spare the drama club from future auditions of hers.[[DramaticPause ..]].''until further notice''. * This troper's drama class was involved in a series of one-acts, and she got cast in the cheesiest play in the lot, as the ghost of a falsely-accused Salem witch. It was supposed to be very serious, but with lines like "Gallows Hill gave us fame; hate be the devil's name," she couldn't help but ham the heck out of it all. It was great fun. * [[DominusTemporis This troper]] got to play the role of Nick Bottom in A Midsummer Night's Dream earlier this year. Of course I was expected to be this, but I ended up hamming it all the way to [[SpotlightStealingSquad Spotlight Stealing Squad]] status (the other cast members weren't mad, thankfully). I got a huge ovation, and it was probably my favorite role that I've ever played. ** Whoa, are you me? *** I didn't know I could be in three places at once. * This troper is quite a hammy actor. I've been proudly overacting my entire life. Most recently I managed to turn my role as a tree in a house play into a cross between [[TheLegendOfZelda The Great Deku Tree]] and William Shatner, (even adding a ridiculously melodramatic death scene modelled off [[MetalGear Sniper Wolf's]], complete with music) and disrupting an entire cluster of classrooms with a reading of TwelfthNight during an English class. * Jesus Christ, I stumbled across the page that describes me perfectly! Fond of throwing quips and making up ''epic'', sometimes intentionally melodramatic quotes to liven a day? That's me! Encouraging my friends with shamelessly cheesy, yet fun exclamations? That's my style! Described by a friend as resembling Kamina from TTGL in personality? No doubt about it. '''With sharpened mind, heightened teamspirit, hardened conviction... and friends standing by you, unshaken by the monstrous tidal waves of life... We'll conquer our way beyond the red horizon, pale green oblivion, dark blue oceans, silver star sky and the blackest abyss... to our deepest dreams!''' I challenge anyone to make up a quote of his own. Start a Ham-Fest, if you will. * When this troper plays Yu-Gi-Oh with his brother, we frequently say things like "After I summon my most powerful monster and reduce your Life Points to Zero, you WILL BE TRAPPED IN THE SHADOW REALM ''FOREVER''!!!! ** Following the recent changes to terminology in MTG (Such as 'in play' or 'battlefield' and the addition of traps) this troper is incapable of playing MTG without sounding like someone from Yugioh. * This troper's History teacher will RAISE HIS VOICE TO UNDERLINE '''IMPORTANT WORDS''' and frequently breaks out in song.

* This troper's history/science teacher was this at times, often resorting to hyperbole and arm waving to get a point across. This troper also firmly believes that this is the best possible way to teach science. Especially astronomy. * My 11th grade health teacher (a class which dealt primarily with sex ed) was often overly dramatic. For example, on the very first day of class, he told us that he didn't want us to be embarrassed. He told us to "GET UP THERE AND YELL PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" Give or take a few vowels. * [[Zetta This troper]] has been known to become overly dramatic in front of old people, for no other reason then to give them heart attacks/cause them to think she is acting. And also because it's fun. * This troper's Social Studies teacher is so hammy, she could become a pro wrestler. She shouts a lot, makes overdramatic gestures, and occasionally bursts into song * ThisTroper worked in university theater and knew a group of actors who referred to themselves as the 'Too Big Club' because they were always turned down after camera auditions for being 'Too Big' for the camera. They wanted to be professional, yet seemed to take pride in this. One of our voice training professors diplomatically announced to the class that children's shows were a good gig, too. And it's true; just turn on Nickelodeon and see. * [[LeighSabio This Troper]]'s synagogue's cantor, Cantor Goldstein, has a tendency to drown out the bar mitzvahs as they lead the prayers, and acts larger than life both working and mingling with the congregation. So much so, that this troper has nicknamed him "[[WilliamShatner Shatner]] Goldstein" * I always went into LargeHam mode when reading aloud in HighSchool English, just to counteract the [[SoBadItsHorrible dull inexpressive monotone]] adopted by far too many of my classmates. * This troper's 8th grade U.S. History teacher was a definite LargeHam. -->"Now it's time for you to go to '''THE PODIUM OF LIFE!'''" * An acquaintance of mine is such a LargeHam. Especially when he does public speeches. * camera pans to him being a LargeHam, quoting someone in a really bad Scottish accent and gesticulating wildly* * In This Troper's gym class, there is one student who embodies this trope. Examples: he breakdances during warmups, when playing baseball he does backflips from 3rd base to home plate, when something is even ''moderately'' funny he would start running around the gym while laughing like a maniac, and while the class was studying health he would ask really absurd questions about the chapter (the reproductive system, mostly) that the teacher needs to take at least ten minutes to answer. [[{{Understatement}} He REALLY enjoys making a spectacle of himself]] ** Same Troper, here. My little brother is this, too. [[LampshadeHanging Lampshaded]] by both myself and my mother. * Do not play monopoly, do not play monopoly with this troper. He will not own hotels, he will own the bank. And he will abuse the fact that he owns the bank, he will give charity, bribes, and free money whichever players he likes. This troper may wear a white moustache, a

monicle, and a top hat. Every line will end with (in nature of this trope, a large ham style) "I own the bank", and you will not forget. [[RunningGag I own the bank!]] * [[TroperOnAStickV2 This troper]] will be in a drama class next semester. This trope is a major reason he's looking forward to it. * [[ABadDriver This troper]] does this repeatedly, often at random MOOOOOOOOOOOOOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENTS! I AM THE GODDAMN RULER OF THE UNIVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERSE. In fact, most of my teachers and fellow students break into this at random, especially my World History AP teacher. In fact...it might as well be a {{World Of Ham}}. ---> My World History AP Teacher: "Can somebody please describe to me what World War I allowed for?" ---> I raise my hand. ---> WHAP Teacher: "Yes?" ---> Me: "IT MADE THE WORLD SOOOOOOOOO MUCH RICHER AND ECONOMICALLY SOUND!! AND THE ROOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAARING TWENTIES BOOSTED THE ECONOMY AS PEOPLE BECAME RICHER AND RICHEEEEEEER!" ---> WHAP Teacher: "AND SAIIIIID BOOST EVENTUALLY LED TO THE GREEAAAAAAAAAAT DEPREEEEEEEESIONN!!" ---> Me: "[[FlavorFlav YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA BOOOOOOOOY!]]" ** The surprising part? [[NoIndoorVoice Nobody wondered what the noise was.]] * This troper's old Algebra 2 teacher was this amped [[UpToEleven up to 11.]] He would have crazy hand gestures, act like he was crying when taking away a number in an equation, and referenced pop culture at the same time. --> '''Teacher:''' * waving his hands around dramatically* I am practicing my Kamehameha! * If you want a HUGE, and I mean HUGE ham, check out my school play. The only hams were the King and Giant. Guess which two I played? [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NO6PoGFSksQ Approach me PEASANT!!!]]. But I must say, The Tall One, voice of Ivan and Dad, did a very hammy job with them both. YOU ARE TOO MUCH OF A FOOL TO SAIL ONE MY EPIC SHIPS! * This troper, in his freshman year of high school, was in a one-act play for his theater class. He was playing the villain, and delivered his lines such as "WELL, MY NO-GOOD NASTIES! LET'S GO PUT OUR PLOT INTO ACTION!!!" * [[IrksomeDude I]] would call myself one of these, as well as almost any character I run or create. Really. * [[{{Katana}} This troper]], several good friends of said troper, and said said troper's brother regularly engage in LargeHam LensmanArmsRace esque performances. While switching into complete Deadpan at a moments notice. This Troper is not very funny alone but works better with the group. When you can honestly answer a question with '''"THE''' ''SQUARE ROOT'' '''of''' '''''TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'''''" you qualify for LargeHam. * Our English class had to read a scene from Macbeth in modern English. My pair went close to last, and this troper could see everybody was awkward and embarrassed. This troper's pair went up, the other girl said her part... and then this troper [[LargeHam unleashed

the hog]] with a Mike Meyers-style Scottish accent. Best part of this? Later the class was reading through the whole of Act 5, and he was cast as Macduff. This troper practically deafened the class, proving myself [[NoIndoorVoice THE MOST CAPSLOCK MAN IN THE SCHOOL]]. * This troper is usually quiet during most of school, but get him near his friends, and expect to hear the large hamminess. For example, this is his usual answer to being asked what anime he likes: ---> Me: '''[[GGundam THIS HAND OF MINE GLOWS WITH AN AWESOME POWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER! ITS BURNING GRIP TELLS ME TO DEFEAT YOU! NOW TAKE THIS! MY LOVE, MY ANGER AND ALL OF MY SORROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW! SHINIIIIIIIING FINGEEEEEEEEEEER!]] [[OverlyLongGag GO! GO! GOOOOOOOO!]]''' ---> Friend: Huh. I prefer Evangellion myself. * I still have a loud and relatively unchanged speaking voice from when I was a child. Naturally, this meant I always played insane people in theatre. ANd made them more insane than theoretically possible. * This Troper averts this in real life where he is very shy,calm and quiet, but when he's on the internet this changes...a lot. He has two internet alter egos,one is a [[LargeHam HUMONGOUS HAM]] evil overlord and the other is a giant ham Leeroy Jenkis Paladin of incorruptible pure pureness with knight templar tendencies. Most people thing he's wierd because of that but he has great fun doing it and he can understand why large ham actors are said to be having fun with their roles. * This troper's mother is normally pretty calm, but when something makes her angry or upset, she could rival [[CodeGeass Lelouch]], [[FullMetalAlchemist Alex Louis Armstrong]], and [[GurrenLagann Kamina]] in dramatics. * This troper is normally really quiet (think mouse level), but he can sing VERY LOUDLY INDEED! He also has a habit of impersonating Large Ham's very accurately. Currently, I'm hamming up Lamar from Godspell (FOR MY FIRST TIME EVER) simply because it's fun (and it kinda makes sense for the show to have the loudest singer be the largest ham, in my opinion). Ironically, I was inspired by this wiki, as it revealed who was the large ham in Dawn of War (my favourite game) and I went for the chaplain's speaking style (HE HAS NO INDOOR VOICE, UNDERSTANDABLY). * In high school, everybody knew who I was, even though I was a nerd who never managed to get a date. I was known for my theatrics, culmainating in the conquest of a pep rally while wearing a neon green pimp jacket with zebra stripes. Yeah, I'm [[{{Understatement}} a bit of a]] [[LargeHam ham]]. It's almost like I'm two different people: alone at home, or in a small group, I'm just a regular geek, but the ''moment'' that I go out into public, or even better in front of a crowd, I EXPLODE, BURNING THROUGH MY LIMITED CAUTION UNTIL I BECOME AN ENORMOUS HAM! NO, EVEN THAT DOES NOT DESCRIBE ME! NOT MERELY ENORMOUS, BUT AN '''''[[PhysicalGod INCARNATE DEITY OF HAM!]]''''' * [[SoullessWarlock This Troper]] has been guilty of this in spades for years and being cast as Bottom in AMidsummerNightsDream did not make me tone myself down. * My [[WorldOfHam ENTIRE FAMILY]] is this trope, to the point that

each of us have [[NoIndoorVoice VARYING LEVELS]] of [[ChewingTheScenery SCENERY-CHEWING]]! * This troper used to take an acting class. One of our shows, an absolutely ridiculous rewrite of Frankenstein, was only good because so many actors were hamming up the bad script. However, we all agreed that the best part was the Monster, who lay motionless on a table for the entire play, only getting up and shambling around for a minute at the very end, with no real dialogue. And it was AMAZING! * {{Tropers/Infipus}} is known for being "slightly" over-dramatic when the whole ShrinkingViolet thing gets boring. In fact, just the other day when she was at a beach trip and accused of being overly hammy... She belted out the quote from the main LargeHam page and started marching through the knee-deep ocean water. She was then hit with a 6foot wave that came from nowhere, sweeping her sunglasses out into the unknown, never to be seen again. This Troper may take large steps, but the ocean takes LARGER ONES. * This Troper, although quiet, can be as vocally overreactive, loud and as hammy as possible when given the chance, mainly indulging in evil laughter. An example of this was doing one of the many monologues from Hamlet in a drama class. This trope is also true with a large number of her friends, most of whom are loud and hammy naturally. I love them for it. * This one guy in my English and religion classes... dear God. He had to give a report today. He hammed it up ridiculously, complete with walking around dramatically and hand gestures. The teacher stared. As someone who's been going to school with him for years, I can attest that he wasn't just putting on an act. He's all ham, all the time. ** In my English class last year, we had three hams. Class discussions generally evolved into an EPIC HAM WAR. * When he was in sixth grade, this troper auditioned for the part of Mercutio in a school production of {{Romeo and Juliet}}. He did his audition as a Large Ham, because to his sixth-grade brain, overdramatic inflection and {{No Indoor Voice}} were signs of a ''serious actor.'' Due to this bold decision, he was relegated to the ''non''speaking role of "Passerby #4." * This Troper (CCharmanderK) recently landed the role of Ebeneezer Scrooge in his high school's renditio of Charles Dickens' AChristmasCarol. He has decided that, during his tenure with the Christmas Ghosts and after his HeelFaceTurn, he'll give Scrooge an overly dramatic, emotional performance. I mean, this is the first time in God knows how long that Scrooge has ever felt any emotions, so the reactions are likely to be quite intense. * Tropers/[[Optimusjamie]] here. My hamminess borders on NoIndoorVoice at times. This will probably get VERY evident if I ever get round to playing [[Warhammer40000]]. * This troper love to yell, she tends to speak very loudly as well. It may have something to do with her bad hearing, though. * This troper is renowned for being a bit of a {{Shrinking Violet}}. However, in the right circumstances, she becomes a Large Ham of truly epic proportions. This gets even cooler when she decides to quote plays, poems and the like. She utilises this whenever making a [[IncomingHam dramatic entrance]] - on and off the stage.

* I have a reputation for my flair for the dramatic and such. BUT! It really shines on a stage. Be it the exercise to make a scene from Macbeth modernized (it became VERY Mafia-esque), or the five minute abridged Macbeth (HAM was an understatement, I even SUNG! for that bit!), my audition for the school musical (the angry hamminess got me my role), to the musical itself ("[[ByeByeBirdie While three harpies outside my window SHRIEKED! 'We love you Conrad' FOUR THOUSAND SEVEN HUNDRED AND NINETY TWO TIMES!!!!!]]"). And that's the short list everybody! * This Troper's English class is currently reading DeathOfASalesman, and I usually volunteer to read aloud, usually as Biff. I use multiple voices, sometimes switching mid-sentence or even mid-''word'': ArnoldSchwarzenegger, [[MetalGear Solid Snake]], [[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ptitle23580fpu Nobunaga]], [[ResidentEvil5 Albert Wesker]], and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking a completely calm voice]]. This is not the only class I do this in, and I'm mostly known for my Nobunaga voice, or "Viking voice," as someone referred to it as. * This Troper is the resident ham for his family and friends. I am often cracking jokes, laughing like a maniac, being [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotAwesome needlessly dramatic for mundane things]] changing my voice and volume and quoting memes and other large hams. * This Troper's friend is a large ham of epic proportions. She yells almost everything she says, and is a hoot in the school play. I will never imagine the word "pearls" the same way again. * This troper is only a large ham when not in public. Generally this means only at parties and such, and has been repeatedly told he needs to quieten down, only to be loud again the next second. This also lends a bit to being comedic. * [[@/{{NathanielTheSeeker}} I, the young man seeking interesting insights]], feel I am a rare calm, yet even more surprisingly, opportunistically selective version of this trope. There are lots of instances when I simply speak in my 'normal' tone of voice, state an opinion or tell a piece of insight I've learned and want to share with others without actually trying to draw attention to ''myself''. However, even then my voice frequently manages to sound like it comes from deep within and creates a slight echo. A few of my schoolmates have commented on how strong my voice sounds(about which I consequently feel very flattered). My philosophy teacher even once joked about how easy I am to be heard in the class now or how unintentionally scary I can sometimes be. When I really get going, however, I feel really alive and certain of myself and my habit of bettering myself in creating a compelling spectacle or sideshow is giving its own share. If there is any troper here, who'd like to have some hammy fun moments or develop their wit along with a sparring companion in a wit-sharpener duel, perhaps you'd like to send me a pm ;) or seek me out on Troper Updates. * While studying {{Medea}} in her sophomore English class, this troper managed to get the teacher and the majority of the students to be terrified of her for the better part of the year by reading the title

role aloud as hammily as possible, with lots of [[NoIndoorVoice HYSTERICAL SCREAMING]] and as good a RoaringRampageOfRevenge as she could do without leaving her seat. The fact that she's usually so much of a ShrinkingViolet that this reading was [[TheQuietOne the first time most of the class had ever heard her ''speak'']] probably helped, what with the shock value and all. * I do this all the time. I was sparring with my friend and I threw every hammy line I had in me at her. Some of these included, "YOU'RE A ''WOOOOOOORTHY'' OPPONENT! BUT DO YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO DEFEAT ME?" and, "I, [MYNAME] SHALL NOT BE DEFEATED! FIGHTING STRENGTH IS IN MY VEINS!" She was too busy laughing to fight. Guess who won? * If you put this troper in a good mood, He will do a wonderful impression of TheOldSpiceGuy, and talk with his hands in a GLORIOUS fashion. Spouting OneLiners like "This is where I get off." While jumping off of an Exit Ramp in Burnout. * [[Tropers/TheGDude I]] dabble in the arts of ham every now and then. * This Tropette is normally a polite, sensible, quiet and slightly amusing individual. But whenever she gets the opportunity, she becomes an outrageously LargeHam with wild facial expressions and gesticulation, alongside at least 3 different Ham voices resulting in NoIndoorVoice. Her boyfriend is also a Large Ham of proportions who is perfect for HamToHamCombat, through the power of his AudioErotica and GlassesPull, but sometimes cannot out-ham her and said to her once that she was the female version of a particularly famous British Ham aka BRIAN BLESSED! This pleased her =D * [[Tropers/BladeSatoshiX This Troper]] does not have an indoor voice, acts overly dramatic and makes everything hammy frequently. * [[{{Tropers/Myaku12}} This Troper]] is usually fairly averagevolumed,but when she got cast as the Queen of Hearts in [[AliceInWonderland Alice in Wonderland Jr.]], she was compelled to, neigh, was REQUIRED to be a [[ThisIsSPARTA OVER! The TOP!]] '''[[ThisIsSPARTA AS!]]''' '''''[[ThisIsSPARTA POSSIBLE!!]]''''' Some of her best lines: --> Troper: And JUST who do we have HERE, HMMMMMMMMM? --> Actress: Uh,I believe you mean ''whom'' do we have here. --> Troper: '''SILENCE!!''' WE speak the QUEENS English here, you [[ThisIsSPARTA NAMELESS!]] '''[[ThisIsSPARTA LITTLE!]]''' '''''[[ThisIsSPARTA WELP!]]''''' * [[{{Tropers/Myaku12}} This guy]] will frequently enter a conversation or greet his friends with a large, nice, "OH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!" * {{AnneBeeche}}: I am this trope ''a lot''. In addition to shouting and making large, theatrical gestures, I also grossly exaggerate my tales and even boast Anglo-Saxon style about outlandish, epic things I have never done. For example, when talking about my weekend, I will boast about my exploits in the snowy mountains wrestling polar bears and slaying dragons when what I am actually describing is my ski trip. ** Also, my English teacher (who spawned my all-consuming insatiable interest in Anglo-Saxons, by the way) is a serious Ham whenever he plays a part in the ''Hamlet'' we're reading in class. His death scene as Hamlet himself was both hilarious and epic. While reading Hamlet, since I also happen to be a Ham with a love for Shakespeare, I would

have a Ham contest with him to see who could read their parts more dramatically. The teacher also (ironically enough) demonstrated what over-dramatization looked like by standing theatrically facing his podium and loudly proclaiming, [[ThisIsSPARTA "THIS IS A ]]'''[[ThisIsSPARTA PODIUM!!!!"]]''' * ThisTroper auditioned for the role of Bottom in AMidSummerNightsDream and decided leaping onto a box on the stage would impress the director. It did and he got the parts. But, what was the best part about this was that every person who was either at the audtion or knew me would say "You're perfect for that part." It did sort of help that I have NoIndoorVoice and throw myself into roles. Scary that I'm not that different offstage. BUT WHY SHOULD THAT BOTHER ME?!!! * This troper (FulltimeD) played Mr. Toad in his 3rd grade class's production of a musical version of "Wind in the Willows." * both my sister and nephew have a history of being LARGE HAMS! i wouldn't know much about my sister being this way but i know my nephew will overreact at every chance he gets. my dad tells me he gets this from my sister... i wonder where she gets it from... * Several of [[Contributor/{{Meshakhad}} my]] teachers were like this. I believe that all science teachers should be Large Hams. * This Troper is on a quest to out-ham both WilliamShatner and '''[[BrianBlessed BRIAN BLESSED]]'''. Wish me luck! * This Veggie Troper, ironically, cannot stop hamming it up at every opportunity. My breakfast ham is signing Gilbert & Sullivan VERY LOUDLY in the shower, thus waking my housemates. Once in lectures, I'll look for any chance thrown my way to ham up an answer (even better, as my Inorganic Chemistry lecturer is quite hammy himself). When on teaching practice, I was told I need to project my voice more. Cue BRIAN BLESSED volume. My friends have come to love my ham, but woe betide those who are just getting to know me, and are exposed to my ham. ** In an update, it seems that the course's top brass _don't_ take kindly to hams. The told me to come back to teaching when I get some maturity. THOSE FILTHY ROTTEN B*STARDS!!!!! * This Troper (TappitydaNoggin) is prone to this due to: 1) His tendency to project his voice when excited, 2) The extraordinarily loud laugh he inherited from his mother, and 3) his love of ham. It does make me a very receptive audience member though. * The history teacher at this Troper's school has a habit of singing "Total Eclipse of the Heart" rather loudly and dramatically whenever he asks the class to turn around. He also uses a broadsword to gesture to the board. * [[@/{{Pastylover2}} This troper]] is basically a non evil, Daleks excluded [[Series/DoctorWho Davros]]. He argued with his ''math homework''. '''"CURSE YOU M-WORD!!!''', and '''"I'VE DEFEATED THE MATH NEMESIS!''' * The head of the Maths department at this troper's high school qualifies. An example: "If one of the brackets is equal to 0, then THE WHOLE EXPRESSION MUST EQUAL 0!" He tends to take large steps back and put his hands up when he does this. In one other instance, at the start of one year we were given a difficult question that threw us

into the deep end straight away, and said "That...*dramatic pause* is not a difficult enough question to be in the exam." * [[@/{{GoateeGuy}} This Troper]] does this from time to time...but usually only with my family and the closest of friends that would laugh at it rather than cringe in horror...XD * [[{{SkellSolo95}} this Troper]] is currently writing a how-to speech for class about how to be a Large Ham. Her classmates don't get the joke, but I'll be too busy showing off my SUPAH HAM SKILLZ to care. * This troper got the part of JuliusCaesar when the Literature class was reading the play. He managed to out-act everyone else in the room combined, and forever got the hammiest parts whenever the class is reading any plays, and tries his best to make the parts as hammy as possible. * This troper can't help himself being one. Especially when he says "I will EAT THIS SAMMICH FOR LUNCH!". * [[{{Tropers/Marr965}} This troper]] thends to do this in party situations. He claims that he gets drunk on social situations. He can also shout '''EXTREMELY LOUDLY!!!!!!!!!!!''', as anyone in his reenactment group can testify. Think "heard across fields" loudly. * [[@/BlakeDiamond This Troper]], who's mostly quiet and snarky, can occasionally get into moments of ''[[KamenRiderDouble eeeeeext]]'''''''[[FeedMe REEEEEEEEEME!!!]]''''' hammyness. One such moment of "turning on the Hammy" (as I like to call it) is when I was selected to read "The Passionate Shepherd to his Love" by SIR! Walter Raleigh, in fromt of my entire 12th grade English class. The amount of ham I displayed would've made BrianBlessed proud. (Or at the very least, impressed enough to SHOUT A COMPLIMENT! Okay, I'll stop.) I also have a tendency of doing this: --> Me: Isnt today your birthday? --> Random Friend: Yeah! --> Me: ''Welllllll theeeeen''... --> Random Friend: Yes? --> Me: '''''[[KamenRiderOOO HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! DEAR FRIEEEEEEEEEEND!!!]]''''' * [MasqueradeActors This troper]] (Dreamer) was cast as multiple parts in his church's annual {{Godspell}} tour. This troper was told by another performer that "[He] hammed the parts up so much [he] smelled like salted pork." The king's servant (a minor part with lines that are meant to be ad-libbed) was performed completely by gestures and was still extremely hammy. * ThisTroper's family is frequently acting over dramatic deliberately for laughs. --> Mother: Might it be behind the sink? --> Uncle: OH "MIGHT IT BE" FORSOOTH? ** Aaaaaand among others. --> Dad: ''SOMEONE'' FORGOT TO REFILL THE ''ICE TRAYS.'' * In seventh grade, this Troper's history group project involved creating a skit or series of skits about Colonial America. Everyone for the most part tried to make their skits at least somewhat informative, but first and foremost, everyone just wanted to make them funny. This resulted in some amazing LargeHam moments, such as when

this Troper's character randomly went off on a tangent in the middle of a conversation about the "great nation of America" - only to realize that all the other characters in the scene had stopped talking and were staring at her. * normally this troper doesn't let her geeky interests get involved with non-geeky situations. however, this troper was once dropping multiple bad jokes around her friend and her friend's niece and nephews (nothing dirty, just jokes that were purposely lame)... deciding to go with the flow, after having watched FullMetalAlchemist and knowing they've probably never seen a single episode of it I decided to go ahead and make fun of the fact telling lame jokes is pretty much my family's hat and struck a pose and dramatically said "THE ART OF TELLING LAME JOKES HAS BEEN PASSED DOWN THE JOHNSON FAMILY FOR GENERATIONS!!!!!" after their look of WTF I just said "if you watched FMA you'd at least be chuckling now..." * This Troper has Asperger'sSyndrome. As such, I'm loud, hyper, a geek to the core, and I LOVE quoting {{TengenToppaGurrenLagann}}. And singing. One way I take boredom out of work is to sing AT THE TOP OF MY FREAKING LUNGS. WE GOTTA POWAH DORAGONBOORU ZEEEEEEEETO! * This troper is usually fairly quiet, but does fit this trope at certain times, especially when reading out loud (my whole English class now knows me as 'the girl who does the voices'), acting or giving a speech. Most of the people who I know from theatre also fit to various extents. To top it all off, my school's theatre department just put on Urinetown, which when done right is basically this trope in musical form... we did it right. * Last year, in this troper's fall semester at community college, he had a sociology class. His teacher could be classified under this trope. Every time he would enter class, he would say, "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD..." pause for like two seconds, then continue, "MORNING, everyone! How are we this morning! Doing well? Yes? Fan(claps) tastic. Once again, it is a pleasure to see your BRIGHT, and SMILING faces in this institution of higher education." Word for word. And when class would end, he'd go, "With that much said, ladies and gentlemen, [[ThisIsSparta HAVE! A! WONDERFUL! TUESDAY!]]" (or weekend if it was Thursday.) And he would repeat definitions that he stated, for emphasis. He was a pretty talkative man. * While not normally a ham, this troper, when playing intense games of [[YuGiOhCardGame Yu-Gi-Oh!]], can sometimes reach ham levels that can put [[YuGiOh5Ds Jack Atlas]] to shame. Really. * When [[Tropers/AdelePotter This Tropette]] is in a hammy mood, she can outdo InvaderZim. * In high school, [[Tropers/{{Animenutcase}} this troper]]'s English teachers would often have us read plays in class, assigning roles to do so. This normally soft-spoken troper enjoyed herself immensely, expecially as [[CrosscastRole Creon]] in ''{{Antigone}}''. In my senior year, I did an ''actual'' theatre performance as the announcer for [[ParodyCommercial Motorwise Gasolines]] in ''ZombieProm''. An underclassman of mine saw the show and told me she was surprised by how powerful my voice was. ---LET US RETURN....''TO''...'''''[[LargeHam LARGE HAM]]!''''''

----

LarynxDissonance * In Real Life, the men in my old Renaissance Faire guild used to do this when, on the last day of the year's run, we would cross-dress for a few gigs. A female finally said "Guys, listen to me. Listen to ANY of the women here. We don't talk like Monty Python imitating women." Some of the better actors managed to pull off a reasonable version of female (slightly higher pitched and slightly breathy works better than falsetto), but many of the men couldn't HEAR how wrong their first attempts were, or didn't care! ----

LaserGuidedAmnesia Believe it or not, people fake this sometimes. * At a party in 2008, this troper, his girlfriend, and her best friend had all agreed to have a [[AThreesomeIsHot threesome]]. After some unfortunate circumstances that led to the prevention of this threesome (by the group Jerkass), the best friend was driven home because she was 'too drunk'. Cue the next morning, where the best friend claimed she had NO MEMORY of the night before, this proposition (hers, actually), or its acceptance. Now the best friend has gone to the other end of the country, leaving this troper in dire need of sexual conquest catharsis. * This troper's friend, upon having a bad break-up and getting every other member of Drama Club pissed at her for trying to slander him afterward, fell and lightly tapped her head on the ground to try and fake amnesia, claiming to have lost memory of everything from the first day of her freshman year. What made it a true [[WallBanger wallbanging]] moment was that many people without knowledge of amnesia, including at least one of her teachers, ''believed it''. Of course, when people began to suspect that it was a charade, she suddenly began regaining memories at a very fast rate. * So, how many people here have used the "I somehow forgot" defense, truthfully or not? Come on, raise your hands. ** Yes, dear god yes. I manage to forget things I read a few seconds ago. ** My memory makes folk who are senile look like elephants who never forget. I've been in class with you for a month? Nope, even though I talk to you every day, I don't know your name. ** [[{{LittleMai}} Me]] too. I usually DO forget things, but since everyone knows that my memory sucks, sometimes I use this as an excuse - anyways, most of the time I've REALLY forgotten. *** Are you [[LittleMai me]]? * In a subversion of Type 3 LGA, this troper watched a play in which one of the characters has antegrade amnesia and has a girl fall in love with him. Not surprisingly, said character forgets about her, while she never forgets about him. [[FridgeBrilliance Think hard about it]] and you have yourself a TearJerker.

* I have to say "Hey you!" so many times its not even funny. Names and directions just do not stick in my head. And having 60+ cousins does NOT help. -__* [[MalachiteDragon This Troper]] has this, he thinks...emphasis on thinks... He has really, really bad memory, and if he really doesn't want to memorize something...well, he doesn't, no matter how many times you make him read it. There's a reason he can't do more then add or subtract basic numbers in his head... And he's forgotten large chunks of his childhood because he was ashamed of himself at those ages... :( * This Troper has almost a photographic memory...for stuff she finds interesting. If not, well... ** You're not alone. I can remember subject-related stuff for college, as well as ten times more unrelated trivia facts and anecdotes. However, if you ask me what I was doing five minutes ago, or the name of someone I was just introduced to, it's unlikely I'll be able to remember! I once forgot ''my own name'' for a few seconds when sitting an exam (you have to write your name in on the front of the paper, they're not printed). Makes for another funny anecdote though! * This Troper's memory is random at best, I can pay attention for an entire hour then forget it all or remember some minuscule detail no one noticed. * ''Memento'' inspired me to plan on tattooing a codephrase onto the back of my hand in case I ended up with short-term memory disease. Wake up in the morning, look down, see tattoo, live life the best I can, repeat every time I forget. * This Troper can remember almost every single character from any TV show she's watched, yet she can't remember the names of the people in her class. ---''I remember the Trope's name now!'' It's LaserGuidedAmnesia. Click there to go back to it. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LaserGuidedKarma * When discussing an RP with my friends. We decided to include random events. Deciding to be the {{Deadpan Snarker}} I am I asked them: "So if at a random time at a random place where a random event were to occur would the effects be factored randomly or would they be set." Cue me and my friend arguing and saying random and its variations every three words or so. And then one of our other friends randomly comes into the room and slaps me in the face and runs out. Cue {{Awkward Silence}}. * This Troper has been hit by positive LaserGuidedKarma twice. First, as a pretty shy and awkward person she had trouble making friends, and after several months of trying and failing to socialize with others, she eventually decided to give up trying to make friends and accept

the fact she was a loner. That evening she went out to eat at her favorite diner by herself and ran into a group of people she knew, who promptly invited her to sit at their table. Needless to say, she had a great time, and it was a nice sign that [[YouAreNotAlone she was not as alone as she thought she was.]] The second time was at the end of a stressful day, when she was worried about her dreams of becoming a filmmaker and wrote a lengthy diatribe in her journal about how she just wanted some validation of her talent and to know she could be a good writer. [[BeyondTheImpossible Literally the second she finished writing that,]] she got an email congratulating her, saying her script had been accepted by a production class and would be turned into a short film. * This Troper knows a guy who has several KickTheDog moments and recently has become a massive punching bag, metaphorically. At one point said guy turned up to a friend's house when unwelcome and ate a lot of food, all the while ignoring requests to leave. So the victim told his friends in turn, and joined them [[CrowningMomentofAwesome when they did the exact same thing back to him]]. * This troper fell victim to negative laser guided karma today. After years of being a Karma Houdini on the rails and avoiding fares, I was caught without a ticket. Worst part was, for a change it wasn't my fault. But well deserved nonetheless.

LastGirlWins * Obivously, YourMileageMayVary, but this troper is continually reminded by his overbearing mother to be wary, because in her experience people tend to marry whomever they are dating when they are ready to marry someone. ** [[FridgeLogic As opposed to marrying someone you're not dating?]]

LastKiss * My wife, Jody. I said good-bye to her late one night, September 1996. May she rest in peace. * This troper has an interesting (and [for me] heartbreaking) variation. I remember talking to the girl I like after church one day. In the alleyway, before we left for our respective vehicles, we hugged. It was quite trivial at the time. Little did I know that it would be the last time I'd hug her. Bonus points for the torrential downpour, characteristic of late spring. * This Troper (Innocently, since he was only five at the time.) Kissed a girl he knew. He switched schools and later heard that she died in a car crash. * This troper's then-boyfriend went to visit his parents for the weekend. When he came back, he told her that he'd met someone else and they'd decided to get together. After that relationship fell apart and they were on speaking terms again, he admitted that it was the look on her face and her screaming, "You ''kissed me goodbye,'' you fucking bastard!" that stayed with him later.

LastMinuteProject * Subverted by [[{{Tropers/HG131}} this troper]], who'd do projects at the last minute and get 100s.

LastNameBasis * At this troper's high school, this is how it generally is, sort of. Newbies and sort of dorky guys call people by their first names (people you knew on a first-name basis before high school excepted) and everyone else generally goes by last names. This causes this troper to be called "Burns" or "Burnsy" constantly. Some people's names are shortened, some are combined with their first initial or name (Kevin Gibbons becomes "K-Gibbs") and some are nicknamed by their first name (Ray becomes "Ray-Ray" and Andrew becomes "Jru"). * At work, you may expect LastNameBasis, but at this troper's high school, one of the class leaders was refered to by ''everyone'' by his last name. He pointed it out sheepishly when a roll call was done and he was still called "Sturkey" rather than his very normal name. This troper didn't like him, so to keep a distant tone with him, she had to use his ''first name''. ** Long story: Spanish man lives with four Poles. His name is Alphonse Jesus. As "alfons" is Polish for "pimp", he is simply called Jezus. *** Seriously? This troper likes the name Alphonse. :( ** [[ZanderSchubert My]] real life name is Alex Ray. In general, people call me Ray Ray, Little Ray, Little Ray Ray, Sunshine, Raynina (don't ask), and Alex, roughly in that order. (I could put my name under TwoFirstNames and GenderBlenderName as well, but that would be weird and pretentious.) ** More real life: In [[{{Nentuaby}} This Troper's]] freshman dorm, every male wound up being addressed this way in reaction to a horrifying overabundance of Daves and Gregs. ** This troper's given name is a short series of simple sounds that absolutely defeats most English speakers on the phone. LastNameBasis it is! *** [[ForbiddenFruit Let's hear it.]] (Er... see it.) ** This troper was once in a high school class of sixty-eight people. With that many people in one room first name duplication was inevitable, so last names became standard procedure, even when addressing the teachers. *** This troper knew so many Cameron's that he ended up referring to them all by surname. *** At this tropers school that problem was solved by replacing the Cs with the first letter of their last name (Wameron and Vameron). It helps that those two names are still pronounable. ** In college, this troper had two Erics in her group of friends. Everyone called them by their last names, just so they wouldn't get mixed up. But then there were problems, because one of the Erics had a last name that sounds like it could be a first name, so newcomers to the group would always assume that it was his first name. ** At this tropers high school nearly all the guys who he is not close friends with refer to him by his last name. This happens to no once else and it`s rather weird now that he thinks about it.

* Yet more TruthInTelevision: At this troper's high school, nobody above freshman year addresses their teachers as "Mr" or "Mrs/Ms" anymore, unless you are polite or have transferred in. Also, nobody remembers why or when it started, but eventually we fashioned nicknames out of a particular science teacher's surname, which turned "(Ms.) Stahl" into "Stahlly," "Agent Stahlly" or for whimsical people, "Stahlly Olly Oxen Free." * Yet more truth in television. A boy in this troper's school with the last name 'Nedrud' has had his first name entirely replaced in common conversation with variations on 'Ned' and 'Drood' rather than nicknames for his first name. * One of my friends likes referring to people by their surnames. Another of my friends is often referred to as 'Stacey', his surname, meaning that this doubles as a GenderBlenderName. * Even more TruthInTelevision: This troper was the only one who ever called her ex by his first name, Mike. Everyone else called him Held. Holds true with my parents too; everyone calls my father by his last name, except for my mother, who calls him Rob. * For about two years, [[GDImmortal this troper]] called a friend of his, whom he met through Air Cadets, by his last name, almost always, out of habit, since that's how I spoke him in uniform. Now it's the reverse, I use his first name even while in uniform. * In middle and high school, this troper had been addressed by his last name by everyone (even the teachers) simply because there were a lot of kids in the school with the same first name as him. * This troper knew a guy whom everyone addressed as his surname -'' even his father, mother, sister and brother.'' * [[DarkInsanity13 This troper]] has a couple friends in which it kind of varies from person to person whether they call them by their last name or not. This troper changes around, often calling them by the first name that pops up and seems to flow better at the time. Oddly enough, there are first names of some people she knows that sound like last names. Also, most of the male teachers (particularly the gym teachers) are referred to by just their last name, without the Mr. She, on the other hand, has never really had the trope happen to her, as her last name is too hard to pronounce on the first try...and it's typically only been used to mock pathetically. * This troper, for whatever reason, is forever being addressed by her last name. Which she doesn't mind so much, with two exceptions: people assuming [[GenderBlenderName it's her first name]], and the nonstop stream of jokes and smart remarks associated with her particular last name. (Hint: Anything that can go wrong, will - and no, my name isn't Sod or Finagle.) * This troper went to a British school where in many situations it was more common to go by the last name, or a nickname based on the last name (e.g. Benny from Someone Benson). About half his friends still go by those names now, years later. * This troper attends a college where teachers and students alike are on a last-name basis, which is a complete reversal of his high school. ** Even out of class, I still get called by my last name more often than the rest of my circle. Not sure why, * This troper's high school biology teacher had a habit of referring

to certain kids by their last names, even if he was on good terms with them. This troper was one of those kids. ** She also knows a boy who goes by his last name only. * Virtually every male in this troper's family ends up with the same shortening of their last name as a nickname. * This troper had a friend who called him by his last name, with his reasoning being that we both had the same first name. Which'd make sense, except he was the only person who ever called me it. I would have gathered from context that he meant me, not ''him''. * [[{{Bang}} This troper]] has a friend with the same first name, but after enough confusion, my friend kept his name, and I've since become Tobac. It was a very welcome change. * [[ThatWackyGerman This Troper]] is named Alex. In his class were 3 other guys named Alexander so every one of them (including me) was called by their last name. Ironically we had 2 guys named Niko where we didn't use LastNameBasis. ** [[{{Maniette}} I win]]. I know 5 Alex's (1 -ander, 1 -andria and 3 as is), but only one is referred to by first name. But justified, as his surname is ''Gay''. * This troper tends to assume that when interacting with a professional, like a doctor or lawyer, you call them by their last names. Her dentist apparently doesn't agree, and when he called her up after her wisdom tooth extraction to ask how she was, said, "It's Chris, how're things?". She was very confused since she didn't automatically connect the voice with the man she knew as Dr. Smith (and was a little doped up on painkillers too). * Subversiony type thing which is more like an aversion or just a random tangentially related anecdote: [[{{Cameoflage}} This troper]]'s last name is Bruce, which she dislikes because it's not terribly snappy-sounding, which (among other things) makes it ill-suited for this trope. And if she did go by Bruce, it'd a) be taken for an unusual choice of TomboyishName and b) invite oodles of Monty Python jokes, which would be funny at first but [[NeverHeardThatOneBefore become tiresome eventually]]. ** More on-topic: This troper is incapable of thinking of her teachers as anything other than Mr/Mrs/Ms Last Name, which makes it rather jarring and slightly awkward when one of her parents refers to the teacher by their first name in conversation with the troper. * Yeah, there are about ten people with my first name in my year. As a result, everybody calls me Fletcher. Or Fletch. Some people have admitted to mistaking it for my first name. ** This troper has had at least one person mistake his last name for his first. * [[{{Gerusz}} This troper's]] physics teacher addressed the luckier part of the class by their surname. (The unluckier ones got some degrading nicknames... Not if using surnames only wouldn't be degrading ''enough'' in Hungary: calling someone on his/her surname only is considered rude, worse than using Japanese names without any honorific. However, before TheGreatPoliticsMessUp it was usual in schools, but since then it's very rare) * This troper knows a guy with the last name "Allcock". It's inconceivable to want to call him by his first name.

** Reminds this troper of when his uncle told him a story about him working as a security guard and checking the ID of a man named "Holden Hiscock". *** While we're on this topic, my mum told me about a patient by name of Steel Cox. *** [[{{Aryn}} This Troper]] knows someone named Jack Sexton, and always used to call him by his full name, but not for the reason you might think. I was maybe 5 or 6 at the time, and did so to keep everyone from confusing him with the Jack that jumped over the candlestick. * This troper has a friend who went by Last Name Basis until recently, so more recent friends will call him by his first name and older friends by his surname. Strangely, it's yet to get confusing. Of course, this troper also calls everyone who shares his incredibly common first name by their last name. * In secondary school, ''everybody'' except a few of the teachers called [[QuantumToast this troper]] by his last name. * [[{{gadeel}} This troper]] has a friend who has the last name "Tuzon". He was referred to his last name (or a variation thereof) by ''everyone'', including his closer friends and some relatives. * Only one of the teachers at This Troper's high school (an absolutely foul math teacher) calls everyone by their last name, prefixed by a"Mr" or "Miss." This was dealable until he called my name in class and subsequently pronounced it wrong throughout '''the entire year.''' (In case you're wondering, my last name's Coughlin. (It's pronounced "Cog-lin", not "Cough-lin.")) * This troper began being called by his last name by everyone at some point and now he prefers it. His small group of friends have a longrunning fan-fiction-type mythos in which a version of him from an alternate universe is known solely by his/my first name. ** This troper knows when it happened (in high school) and has got so used to it that now, whenever someone who is not a relative or a elementary school classmate uses her first name, it's incredibly awkward. Teachers in college tend to do it, sadly. * [[{{PictureFrame}} This troper's]] high school band director called everyone by their last name, horribly mangaling all of them in the process. Of course, when he tried to call people by their first names it was ''worse''. ** The same troper had a specific high school friend (for lack of a better term) who she called by his last name. Their senior year, his [[AnnoyingYoungerSibling sister]] went to the same school and started responding to this troper calling out the last name (think alonmg the lines of Dave yelling "[[AlvinAndTheChipmunks Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalvin!]])" forcing her to address the friend by his first name. * This troper goes to a summer camp with a lot of girls named Sara. When we can't think of nicknames for all of them, last name basis is used but the letter S is tacked on to the front of the last name. This leads to some interesting sounding names. * This troper's Latin class was all first-name or CanisLatinicus Nickname basis -- except for Dickens. It wasn't weird at all until this troper started reading ''A Tale of Two Cities'' in class one day

-- and even then it was just funny. * There were ''four'' guys with the same first name in [[InsanityInside this troper's]] class in middle school. LastNameBasis was pretty much a necessity. After a while we all forgot what their first was. * [[{{Emiko}} This troper]]'s current circle of friends includes two Matts and two Stephanies. To distinguish them, we sometimes use [[FullNameBasis Full]] and sometimes LastNameBasis. The latter is useful when talking to one Matt or Stephanie about the other, and was particularly useful on the day we went to a ropes challenge course. The two Stephanies decided to do the two-person climbing challenge together, leaving the rest of us to call out encouragement and advice using their last names. * This troper's first name is pretty common, so he is often referred to by his last name and various nicknames based on it. Even his girlfriend has done this, which has backfired when trying to tell others to find him in a list alphabetized by ''first'' name, and when talking to his parents for the first time. * It's weird at my school. On one hand, every other student has the last name of Kim or Lee, so last name basis doesn't work too well...but there are a handful of kids who are known only by their (more distinctive) last names. Quite a few of them are jackasses, so for some reason it functions as a kind of ''insult''. But only if you're talking about another student; teachers are always referred to by their last names. Yeah, my school is weird. * This Troper is in the US Army. It kind of goes by default that everyone's on a last name basis with everyone else. * This Troper has been called his last name throughout grade school, because he resembles his older brother and had many of the same teachers. After calling him by the wrong name a couple of times, each of them eventually gave up and used his surname. This caught on and even managed to carry on to college. It has gotten to the point that friends call his house asking for his last name and when they introduce people to him they only use his last name. Cue strange looks. But eventually everybody just goes with it. * On the shop floor, everyone has only one name, their last. In the office, everyone has only the first name. Supervisors (who run the floor and are often in the office) and Engineers/Technicians (who are mostly in the office but often on the floor), get it from both ends. As a rule, a "Red Hat" (Engi/Tech) will call you by your first name, while a "White Hat" (Floor Operator) uses your last. * While this no longer applies at University, back in High school this troper had 3 other Jeffs in his class. So to almost everyone he was "Bain" or "Bainer". The only exception being when my full nickname was used, at which point I'd be "Jeff the Pirate" * This troper only ever referred to her (now ex-)boyfriend by his last name. There was a good reason for that, but in retrospect it does seem odd. * This troper used to go to a Jujitsu school rife with other Michaels and Mike variants. Naturally, last name basis ensued. This went on for so long that it took on EveryoneCallsHimBarkeep proportions causing the occasional newby to think Esposito was my first name.

* This Troper and everyone else called one guy in our class by his last name. The weird thing is his first name was fairly unique. Also called the twins in school by their last name. * ThisTroper was on a complete LastNameBasis with just about everyone in high school, partly because he played sports (and thus his first introduction to others was as the last name), and partly because his ''first'' name was the most popular boy's name for most of the 1900s. For the first few months of the school year, most of his friends didn't even ''know'' his first name. * When I joined my high school's swim team as a freshman, there were six other girls named "Rachel," all spelled the same. So my coach called me by my last name. Which is a first name for most people. A ''male'' first name. Four years later, I'm the only Rachel, we have all new coaches, and I'm still known by my last name. * Early in my Army service, I got thoroughly into the LastNameBasis mindset ... so much so that once when someone ''who outranked me'' addressed me by my first name, I rebuked him, ''denying that it was my name''. It's not that it's a weird or embarrassing name (it's one of the most common male names in my generation), I'd just come to think of my last name as the ''only'' correct form of address for anyone but family. * [[{{Pikachukid}} I am a Chris]], and I work around at least three other similarly named people (one of whom is female). Some have taken to calling me by my surname, some have not. We also have two Julies, three Amandas, three Melissas and most recently two Cheryls (one blind, one deaf). Bizarrely, if you're not a Chris, nobody will call you by your surname. ** Coming from an all girls school this doesn't happen much, though in my old school, the large amount of 'Thomas'-es as happens in England led to nicknames such as 'Bazza' (Thomas Baron) and 'Star Boy' (Tom Starr). Similarly, the male alternative to our school has the same thing. The closest we have in my school was 'Davidson' because of the large amount of Lucy-s, which is weird since 'Davidson' sounds immensely masculine. I perosnally am referred to by my internet alias more than my real name, which is in fact a made up name in itself. ** This troper went to a school that was firmly on a FirstNameBasis, even with the teachers. Unfortunately, there were about eight Davids, so we inevitably got referred to by our surnames. ** Similarly, this troper went to a school where all the students were on FirstNameBasis, except for in my group of friends, which consisted entirely of Jameses and Stevens. We used surnames. *** When I'm in my hometown I can't even use THAT for my friend group, since it consists of both the pair of me and my brother, and 2 friends (one of whom shares my brother's name). We've roughly settled on my brother being "little bain" and his name counterpart being "the asshole", because first names and last names each would have created confusion. ** It's not only teachers to students, or just acquaintances. This British troper referred to his best school friends by their surnames as well, even though there wasn't anyone else in the year by their first names. First names were saved for special moments of emphasis (oddly, rather like one might normally use a surname to get someone's

attention; it's just using an unfamiliar address that does it). ** This led to confusion when one of my friends, known almost universally by his surname- Hester- read MortalEngines. ** Two schools this editor attended this became a problem having two members of staff with the same surname, both schools were determined that [[strike:[[SubvertedTrope this trope would not be subverted]]]] [[FirstNameBasis protocal would not broken.]] The second school it was easy as the pair were Father & Son so the students call the Father: Elder Mr. Surname or Headmaster Surname, the Son: Young Mr. Surname. The first, you could tell they where clutching a straws when they came up with this idea, because the pair ''were not'' related the students had to call then Mr. Mathematics Surname and Mr. P.E. Surname - note P.E. weren't his initals they stood for Physical Education. ** Similarly, in this editor's high school two brothers were teachers-one was a substitute, the other a coach/PE teacher; we as a student body referred to them as "Hot Mr Ross" (he was) and "The Other Mr Ross". Still don't know their first names. *** In this troper's school, teachers with the same surname just get their first initial added to their surname: as in Ms. S. Walsh and Ms. B Walsh. Still keeps the surname important, but no one but this troper has wondered what would happen if two teachers shared the first initial and surname? ** In this troper's American high school, this was used for many male students (not all of whom had common first names), but not for female students. This was particularly noticeable when a female upperclassman's younger brother joined the school and was referred to by their last name while she was known by her first. * The military. While this troper was doing his service (in the German army) he tried hard not to address his roommates and closest friends on last name basis but he was powerless against the peer pressure. Everyone wearing a nametag with only their last name all the time didn't help either. ** Also the US military. ThisTroper took ''months'' to get back in the habit of remembering that people even ''had'' first names after leaving military service. The only exception was immediate family members. ** While in the military, it is entirely possible to be close friends with someone for years and never even ''know'', much less use, their first name. Your last name becomes your only name. If there's two of you in the same unit with the same surname, then you go by last name, first initial... *** And if the first initial is the same, then you differentiate by full first names, if those the same, you go by middle initials or names, and if THOSE are the same, you go by last 4 digits of service number. In one of my units, we had a pair of soldiers who had the exact same names, birthdays, AND last 4. They went by "Good" Private Bishop and "Evil" Private Bishop... * This trope is absolutely necessary if multiple friends have the same first name. Trying to distinguish between 4 different Matthews gets old very quick. The hardest last name usually gets to keep the first name. * This troper's Boy Scout troop had about five boys all with the first

name of Nick, so those boys were usually referred to by only their last names. * At this troper's school, a popular English teacher is always refereed to as Dean, barely ever with his title of Dr. Reversely though, he refers to his physics teacher as Gleitz, whereas everyone else calls him Mr. Gelitz. Yes, people find it odd. * If this troper uses the last name to refer to someone, it usually means that she generally dislikes said person. * [[{{MiraShio}} This troper]] used to study with a guy whose last name was Pia. Trope was invoked as Pia is a legitimate female name. * Has anyone else been commonly refereed to as their last name, had someone call their house and had other family members pick up? HilarityEnsues * This troper met many people most commonly known by their surname, usually because said last name was unique (Borella, Veras, Lubambo...). It is useful when the OneSteveLimit is broken. * There's this guy I know who wants to be called my his middle name, Micheal, because his first name is Dante. Problem? There are now 3 Micheals in our class. We call Dante his last name now, one of the Micheals just Micheal, and the last one Mikey. * This Troper has one friend who only ever refers to him by his last name. He has been referred to by his first name by that friend maybe three times if memory serves. But that friend is the only person who does it, everyone else either calls him by his first name or first and last name. * I work with a guy who goes by his last name nearly everywhere he goes. One time we were joking around and he asked me some sarcastic question. I paused and said, "I don't know, Mike." His reply- "Did you just call me Mike?" * This troper's friends in middle school used this on everyone BUT him, since he has TwoFirstNames. * Averted by [[TheTallOne my]] friends and family. There is at least one girl also named Meghan in each of my classes, for simplicity's sake, I asked people to call me by my last name. It didn't take, I still get called by my first name, and the other girls with the same name have become Other Meghan. * This troper is referred to with her surname by one person. She, to put it lightly, is not on good terms with this person. * Most of this troper's friends refer to him by his last name. This is somewhat of an [[TheArtifact artifact]] from high school, where many guys were called by their last names. When the troper went to college, his friends from high school who went to the same college continued to call him by his last name, and it stuck with everyone else. It's gotten to the point where some people don't even know what the troper's first name is, and it sounds weird to be called by my first name by people who don't normally use it. * In high school, this troper had a few teachers address her by her last name because they couldn't be bothered to remember how to pronounce her first one - after correcting them a few times, they gave up. Teachers were generally referred to by their last names only in casual conversation with no honorific, or by nicknames. There were a few exceptions - a physics teacher called Doctor Raj was ''always''

Doctor Raj, which was in fact a short form of his first name. * In my small school, the students know most of the teachers well since they've seen them around for four years and have probably had their classes for a year or two. As a result, almost all of the students call teachers by their last names, or a nickname based on the last name. This is usually a sign of respect and esteem, but in a few rare cases it means quite the opposite. A few student's unusual last names become their main title. * This happened in my year at school as a result of there being four boys called Rhys. * Most of this troper's friends refer to him by his last name and always have, so by now he just introduces himself to new people as such. He actually prefers it, because a) it leaves a little distance between him and whoever he's being introduced to, and b) his first name is in Irish and he hates the sound of it. * This Troper and her best friend call each other by their last names, Groat and Koci respectively. We don't really have any idea when it started, but it might have been a result of our names looking similar enough to warrant confusion when handing back homework (in grade 5, we were constantly getting the other person's homework handed to us). * This troper went to Catholic high school, and as a result, more than 50% of guys were named Matt, Mike or John. This led to last name basis being standard for boys, but not girls. In an interesting twist, this (female) troper got referred to as her last name quite a bit, in part because her last name was cooler than her first, she hung out with mostly guys and was really into math and science. * This troper's keyboarding teacher insisted that we all went by our last names, as well as that we would only put our last names on our work. As luck would have it, more than a few of us had last names that also could be used as first names (Bonny, Glenn, Francis, etc.), causing the teacher to lecture us constantly about "putting down our first name instead of our last". * This troper's friend actually went through an interesting shift, he was first introduced by his first name, then went by his middle name, then people started calling him by his last name, and now his last name has been morphed into a separate nickname. * This troper's teammates began referring to him as Shifty, a nickname based on his last name, freshman year. Now, during his senior year, everyone on the team and anyone who knows him through his teammates call him Shifty more often than not. In fact, any time he needs to introduce himself and his teammates are around, he introduces himself as Shifty. * This was extremely common at this troper's middle school, to the point that the only people who weren't were people with ridiculously long last names. * This troper found it weird that in all the examples it was considered weird to call someone on last name basis if you had the same last name as them. My dad, all of his brothers and some cousins are known as "Hilly", and they quite often exclusively refer to each other as that. They rarely have any problem with it, but it confuses the hell out of me. * This troper is usually referred to by his last name. Justified

because there are a few other people with the same first name as him, and his last name is pretty cool. * This Troper was referred to by her printmaking professor by her last name, which just happens to be a fairly common boy's name. The reason is his wife's name was the same as mine and he felt weird calling anyone else that. * During the Upper Level of Comprehensive School (The Finnish equivalent of Middle/High School), everyone in This Troper's class was referred to by their last name. The only exception was he himself. This is because his last name is [[TheUnpronounceable literally unpronounceable]] due to the fact that it has four consonants in a row when Finnish grammar only allows 2 or 3... * In my all-male high school we had so many duplicate first names (including five Brians) that it was common for you to be only called by your surname. I got used to only being called Klapper and have been introducing myself to people as just Klapper to this day. I always find it funny when there are people who know me for years and suddenly realize they can't remember my first name. * [[{{Tropers/Ventisia}} At this Troper's school,]] certain kids are referred to like this. L. Woods becomes "Woodsy," J. Likala becomes "Lakka-lakka," M. Stacey (a guy) gets called "Stacey..." xD * I know three people called Adam, one I call by his surname, because we were at school together and that was mostly what everyone used, one is my cousin, who I call Adam, the third one is friends with my cousin, and I call him by his full name (Adam Hill). Everyone else calls my cousin "Brit" which is a short version of our surname. * Since there are quite a few people with the same first name in our department, I tend to go by my surname about 1/3 of the time. Then again, we also have a tendency to refer to people by their universityissued email addresses and by various other nicknames. * This tropers first boss called him by his last name (Schiffer) because "It reminds [him] of the model"...This Troper is Male so make of that what you will. ** And before you ask, no my first name is not [[{{Bleach}} Ulquiorra]], It's Daisuke...which, [[{{Irony}} Ironically enough]], is also the first name of Ulquiorra's [[DaisukeNamikawa voice actor]]. ---Returning to LastNameBasis, [[ReportSiht Siht]]? --<<|TroperTales|>>

LastSecondWordSwap * This troper when around people that object to profanities. Cue outburts of "Mother frying your hand" or "son of a bilateral!" * This troper's two-year old nephew did this once to his mom. He said that his uncle's hair smelled like poop and he got in trouble for saying poop. Then started saying over and over that (Uncle's name here)'s hair smells like po...soap. I swear he said that at least ten times in a row. Everyone at the table was cracking up but trying to hide it. * This editor is proud to say that in one instance in a university

cafeteria, while recounting the particularly stupid actions of another student, said student walked up behind me and sat at the same table in the middle of the conversation. Warned early enough to completely change the entire topic in the middle of a sentence and carry on, the subject of the interrupted story was confused when I received polite applause from the rest of the table at the conclusion of an apparent discussion of lobster fishing. * Also happened with a colleague of [[KatsuHagi this Troper's]] father, who earned a nickname referring to a feminine hygiene product (that rhymes with "sploosh-bag") due to the difficulty of working with him. While on the phone with an important person and asked about this colleague, my Dad just barely managed to say "Deputy Chancellor Douuu-''bok''" and avoid using the nickname. * This troper was working as a life guard at a pool with several very interested (five year old) girls watching him make chemical tests to the water. As he went to turn on the faucet that let tap water into the pool to dilute test sample, he accidentally pulled it up, causing a small geyser to erupt on the pool deck. He managed to pull a double whammy with "Hell.. en, Fu... dge pops. Hellen, get some fudge pops out of the fridge." ** Of course, earlier in his life, he received an F on a Latin quiz and began with "Ffff.... Flurgalschnag." Which caused the person behind me to bust up laughing. The teacher asked me the meaning, and I described it as any applicable phrase in the English language. * This troper and her friend were discussion her friend's new roommate as they walked back to his room. He was ranting hugely. As he stepped in the room, his roommate appeared to be missing, and he said, "I gotta tell you," he said, "I'm not a big fan!" Said roommate suddenly turned over in his bed, revealing himself to be very much present. Troper's friend quickly appended, "--of my life right now." * [[{{djkates}} This troper]] almost never curses, and therefore uses a lot of the classic swaps -- "shit" becomes "shiitake mushrooms", "fuck" becomes "fudge" or "freak"... "hell" usually gets left alone, though. * "I think that he is one..." *Troper's 4-year old sister enters to the room* "...lollipop-sucker because of doing what he did." * "I must say, if my freshman buddy opened that jar where I failed, I would be--*sound of jar opening*--very proud of him." * This troper's parents usually necessitate this. "God, if my mom asks me to take out the garbage again, I'm gonna freaking... take out that garbage!" * This troper was in the kitchen at her church's Vacation Bible School, talking with one of the kids, when the pastor slipped up behind the kid and grabbed her shoulders playfully. She yelped, "Oh my Go-" as she glanced back and saw who it was, and finished, "-osh!" * This troper was at work dealing with a customer of indeterminate gender. Early in the conversation--addressing an item not currently in stock--he addressed the customer as "sir," while simultaneously realizing the customer was a woman. He quickly switched to "Sir-ry. I'm sirry aboat that," and continued to speak in a horrible Canadian accent for the rest of the conversation to maintain cover. * [[{{bserkii}} This troper]] has on more than one occasioned let

loose a cry of "Blargansplork!". It doesn't replace anything specificaly, should anyone be curious. * This troper's high school physics teacher was known, and parodied, for this trope. Sugar, cookies, crumbs, boogers, and "dirty words" were reactions to such occasions as dropping a cup of coffee, dropping a stack of papers, forgetting to make copies of a test, discovering errors on a test, and the bell at the end of class. * During a soccer game, a girl on the opposite team missed an easy shot and began to curse loudly, then realized that the referee was standing well within earshot. This resulted in an outburst of "Mother...father!" * This troper's father and brother are constantly doing this deliberately to annoy the rest of us. And it usually succeeds. * I manage to be able to fix mistakes in speech without having most of the word come out and without having to pause. If it's a swear, I ussually just stop talking as soon as I realize. * Bit of a subversion: I usually start out a swear without bothering to finish it, and simply draw out the beginning. An example would be "Ffffffff..." or "Shhhhhhh...". ** [[MemeticMutation FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF]] * In a community theater performance of ''Arsenic and Old Lace'' that ThisTroper's parents were in had a great example of this. TheReveal at the end is that [[spoiler: the main character is adopted. He is so extatic that he's not actually related to these crazy murderers that he exclaims, "I'm a BASTARD!"]] Well, in this performance of it, the man playing said character was the only black guy in the entire cast. One night a bunch of kids from a youth church group he helped run showed up. He's standing onstage about to say the line and realizes that the language isn't exactly suitable for them. So, he on-the-spot changes it to, "I'm a BROTHER!" HilarityEnsues for those that knew what it was ''supposed'' to be. * [[KingSonnDeeDoo This Troper]] and her family once had some friends over for dinner. At that time we had the table positioned so that there was a little path, you had to go by an old fireplace to get by. Okay when the people weren't sitting there, but otherwise you had to squeeze by. On this particular occasion, said friends were sitting in that spot, and this troper was trying to get by. The as the male friend 'hopped' his chair forward, it came back down on the troper's foot, causing her to scream at the top of her lungs: "Son of a BI....KITTEN!". The friends later said that they had never heard her scream like that, before or since. ** More recently, she almost said 'Whores', but it quickly got changed to "Whor-ding ladies! Yes, those hording ladies!". * [[MalachiteDragon This Troper]] never censors himself. However, he is very careful to avoid cursing whenever possible when visiting his grandmother if for no other reason then a sign of respect. Once he'd let out a ClusterFBomb (He'd slept in too late and missed an event) and had a small, 10-second HeroicBSOD before realizing that no one had been in earshot at the time of the F-bombing. He was much more careful to restrain himself after that and ever since. * An example from when I was a kid, at camp; the people there included kids in my karate class and their parents. The night before we left we

had a Red Faces competition (or, if you're American, a Gong Show competition -- it's pretty much the same thing). Anyway, one of the parents sang this awful song that went on and on for ages; I can't remember much of it except that the first and third lines of the fourline chorus were "Glorious! Glorious!" Anyway, he finally got gonged, and the "nasty judge" started singing his own version of the chorus: --> Glorious! Glorious!\\ There once was a man who was down on his luck.\\ Glorious! Glorious!\\ He tried to sing a song, but we didn't give a -- stuff! (''gives him a zero'') * [[PentiumMMX2 This troper]] made use of this during a game of MarioParty with his parents, In a 3-on-1 mini-game, the joke CPU character (Which we usually have to fill in when my sister can't join us) made a huge mistake on a mini-game; allowing us to win easier. In celebration, I said "Hooray for dum-''mie''!" (I almost said "Dumbass", for those who where wondering) * Shut the f[[spoiler:ront door!]] * This troper has a tendency of coving bad words with Shout outs. Folr example, One time I was about to shout 'Oh my God' I changed it to 'Mata Nui' as in the bioncle great sprit. * This troper was on a field trip with her friend's very religious mother as a chaperon. The friend then fell out of a chair, causing this troper to say, exasperated and head-shakingly, "Oh my God..." *sees mother* "...zilla." * This troper once did this purely for fun, because only my friend Jonathan was present at the time, we meet to play ''{{Repton}}'' together and he knows how frustrating it gets, and he really would not care if I accidentally let out a swear word. However, just [[InvokedTrope for the comedy value]] I held the sound "sh..." for a [[OverlyLongGag REALLY long time]] before finishing "...uddering swordfish". It's become a kind of in-joke between us now. * This troper is careful not to swear in the earshot of children, but on one occasion he was leading a group of school children to the college theater for a production of Narnia, and stubbed his toe on the door-stopper. ----> '''Troper''' ''Oh ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffiddlesticks.'' * During an afterschool practice for Spanish Team, this troper's teacher stubbed a toe. ---->'''Spanish Teacher''' ''Oh sh...ugar.'' * [[Tropers/RedWren This troper]] likes to do it with ones where you wouldn't quite use it. For instance, "What in the H"--shocked looks-"oover Dam." * This Troper's sister constantly uses "Sugar" and "Fudge" instead of...well, I'm sure you can guess what words. Similarly, my best friend says "Sheet" (usually while sitting next to a printer, so kinda a visual gag). This troper himself doesn't tend to self censor, leading to a kinda funny one in front of my (not keen on swearing) mother (she ignored the curse, luckily: probably didn't hear it): ---->'''Me''' ''Oh, shit. Oh, sorry! Oh, sugar.''

* "Shut up dip...stick!" Is a favorite of mine. It's also really useful because your adversary usually thinks it's funny. * In high school, [[{{Tropers/Davie}} this troper]] was sitting with some friends at lunch. Someone accidentally knocked over their soda, and yelled "SON OF A B-", saw the principal walking by, and finished, "-eeswax bear..." It was pretty amazing. * One of my friends: "Well, I'm sorry, but I don't give a--" *notices teacher* "ahhhh two rats tails!" Also, when I was younger I got in trouble for using the Lord's name in vain and all that, so a lot of times I would say "Oh my Godshhhh!" I told my mom it was a new word. * Overheard in Catholic high school: "Sh...ugar and spice and everything nice!" "You son of a b...(sees mother of target walk by)...eautiful woman!" "You bas...s fisherman!" ** Also a couple of Post-Last-Second Word Swaps- "Pop quiz! What did I just hear from the back of the room?" "Duck, I said. As in, duck, this test is going to be bad!" and also "Boy, [teacher] is really pissed off today! (notices other teacher looking at him) What? I just said... [teacher] has sure been...kissed a lot today. By her husband, I mean. Just has that glow, y'know?" * With this troper's mother: "Shitake mushrooms!" * This Tropers list includes ----> "God...Jam it!" ----> "I laughed so-fa king hard ----> "You Piece of Sh-oe! ----> "You Scared the S-tuff outta me!" ----> "Ah Sh-hhhhhhhhhhhoooooo ''(Impersonates Rocket)'' ---Back to [[Main/LastSecondWordSwap Last Second Wor...sted Wool Sweater]]. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LateArrivalSpoiler * MarvinArnold: FightClub: Some *******, ******* **iot on an unrelated IMDb discussion board ruined the ending and the whole point of the movie for me by writing about [[spoiler: ABeautifulMind]]: [[spoiler:"LOL the twist is the same as Fight Club duhhh".]] You can expect spoilers on the discussion board for the very same movie, but a spoiler for another movie hidden on an unrelated discussion board... that's EVIL! I have never felt the urge to watch Fight Club since then... * Tropers/TerminusEst13: ItWasHisSled? It was whose sled? I'm just gonna pause this watching of CitizenKane and look this over real qui-OH GOD '''DAMN IT''' * MollyWalker: My friend Lilly was doing example sentences in the preterit past tense in spanish class. One of them was [[spoiler:"Fred murio en libro siete."]] Our teacher read the sentence, threw his gradebook down and spun in either utter dismay or anger. Or both. "Lilly, I haven't read it yet!" Lilly's reply? "It's been out for six

months!" ** HarryPotter book 7 spoiler warning. * NeonGenesisEvangelion: If you didn't watch the anime yet and plan on not being spoilered, AVOID THE CHARACTER TROPES! They're much more spoilerrific than the actual article, the latter at least has a good share of Spoiler Tags, while the first one even leaves [[spoiler:a lot of character's deaths]] unspoilered... * Mistermister: I got to watch TengenToppaGurrenLagann for the first time on {{Hulu}} and it instantly became one of my favorite animes, with [[HotBlooded Kamina]] as my favorite character on the show. So naturally, I got ''[[{{Understatement}} really]]'' pissed off when I got spoiled by the fact that [[spoiler: he dies in episode eight]] just by reading the information about each episode on Hulu. ** Video game example: Despite having a lot of spoiler tags in the article, FinalFantasyTactics's character sheet itself is ''still'' full of unmarked spoilers about characters, which pretty much spoils most of the plot. * Optimusjamie here. At a book club, me and osme friends were choopsing books to read and one of them picked up a copy of [[The Medusa Project]]: The Set up and read a random sentence. This sentence was... [[spoiler:Ketty is Viper]]. * This troper watched ''CodeGeass'' after reading about it here. As such I knew almost everything that was going to happen. It didn't spoil the series any, though. * This troper once worked in a triple combo retailer (for the uninitiated: books, music, video). While in the process of reading the Presumed Innocent novel, I happened to see the movie soundtrack at work and picked it up. Big mistake. One of the last tracks is entitled [[spoiler:"Barbara's Confession"]]. Thanks a lot, JohnWilliams. * It's virtually impossible to talk {{Pokemon}} without spoiling the new Pokemon and the plot of the next game. This very wiki doesn't even bother spoilering it, but of course if someone is ''looking up tropes'' they probably don't care about it. Still, it's annoying to try and talk to friends that don't want to be spoiled, not to mention they had to leave the fandom pretty much for six months while it translates. ** The new Pokmon themselves are not spoilers IMO. Neither is the existence of the event legendaries, though [[spoiler: Darkrai being the main villain in PokemonMysteryDungeon 2]] does qualify. Outright plot twists (such as N [[spoiler: not really being Team Plasma's king]]) do get put in tags. As a side note, there seems to be a bit of discussion on how much time should pass before they are unmarked. * A friend of this troper was talking about how he disliked NoOrdinaryFamily because he couldn't understand why [[spoiler:Julie Benz left {{Dexter}}]] (he'd just started watching the series from the beginning). My roommmate and I, at the same time, casually replied that [[spoiler:she left Dexter because they killed Rita]]. He just stared at us, then got pissed. We thought that pretty much everyone had heard about that, since we don't watch the show and even we know about it. ** Worse, [[Tropers/FuriKuri this troper]] got it spoiled by Entertainment Weekly having an article with a headline like [[spoiler:

"Rita's Funeral in Dexter"]]. The first line of the article? "Spoiler alert!" Thanks. Thanks a whole lot. ** This troper had plans on doing a marathon for the first season of Dexter to compare it to the first book. She knew the one who dies in the end is different. Making an edit to add her own Taleand reading the above spoiler just spoiled it for her, thanks. * This Troper ended up spoling the ending of [[{{EdenofTheEast}} Eden of The East]] for himself one episode before the end by reading its '''[[{{Irony}} page on]] [[TVTropeswillruinyourlife TVTropes]].''' ----> [[spoiler: '''Troper''': Takizawa ''wasn't'' behind careless monday? Mr. Outside ''isn't'' dead and he's the supporter? Takizawa and Saki ''don't'' get together? FFFFFFFFFFFFFF-.]] * A tradition at this Troper's high school involves walking up to random freshman (who will read {{A Separate Peace}} later that year) and telling them that [[spoiler: Finny dies]]. * It isn't so much as a late arrival as this troper had FinalFantasyXIII in her hands since the day it came out (she just lacked a PS3 to plat it on for about 3 months after buying it), she just has yet to finish the game. So then XIII-2 is announced and she's curious to find out what it's about... turns out the announcement trailer assumes anyone watching already finished XIII within the previous year, so, naturally they set up the short trailer by using scenes from the ending CGI in it. Case in point: [[spoiler: the first thing you see in the trailer is Lightning de-crystallizing and Serah and Dajh appearing from the horizon to greet the former l'Cie with the crystallized-in-mid-fall Cocoon right behind them]]. So much for reading XIII's TV Tropes page without highlighting spoiler tags... ** And to keep going, I think any troper who was late to the FinalFantasy party can sympathize when this site, or friends who are avid fans of the game, spoil major plot-points of every game. The most jarring is the ItWasHisSled for FinalFantasyVII. Suffice to say, this troper feels that it severely dulled the impact of the death scene. * [[TVTropesWillRuinYourLife Thanks to TV Tropes,]] I knew even before I started watching ''AvatarTheLastAirbender'' that [[spoiler: Zuko fails to turn good in season two.]] * This troper learned the twist ending to ''TheSixthSense'' from, of all things, a ''church sermon'' (it was used as an example of how things don't always seem the way they are, or something). Approximately two hundred people were listening. Wow, thanks. * ''Literature/{{Twilight}} Warning''. I have a rare subversion story. Obviously, everyone knows that Edward is a vampire. However, I never read the black flaps of books that are recommended to me and I read the book in its very early days - back when Stephenie Meyer was still able to personally respond to the emails fans sent her. So I actually didn't know that he was a vampire until he said it (silly me was guessing superhero, or something). * I am a fan of ''AvatarTheLastAirbender''. While I knew about the show I didn't care to follow it or watch it or understand it at all. One day, I sat down with my sister and watched a new episode that was airing, and really finally got into it. Unfortunately, that episode was the GrandFinale. Spoilers galore.

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LateToThePunchline [[foldercontrol]] [[folder:Advertising]] * The Kay Jewelers ad campaign, with the tagline, "Every kiss begins with Kay". Took me a long time to figure it out. Luckily, I was alone on the viewing on which I finally got it, unlike my poor sister, who about a month later figured it out when the whole family was together watching TV. ** This troper had never realized there was anything * to* get until just now. And now I get it. Wow. ** Ooooohhhhhhhh...I get it now. I was looking for something way more {{Squick}}y in there. ** This troper didn't get it until she was watching TV with her mother, who promptly chimed in "and every hug begins with H". ** I've always corrected the tv "No, EVERY kiss begins with E" * The current Gordon's Gin campaign, which is fronted by Gordon Ramsay. I walked past a billboard everyday for three weeks before I finally made the (obvious) connection between the chef and the product. ''Gordon's'' Gin... * The Wells Fargo slogan "Together We'll Go Far". ''We'll Go Far''. ''Well(s) Far Go''. It took me ridiculously long to work that out. ** ...wait, what? Oh. Oooooooh..... * I know this sounds crazy, but it took me 10 years, count 'em, 10 years to get the Trix yogurt commercials. Trix=Tricks are for kids. * Tropers/DesertDragon was about 8 or so when Herbal Essence started running ''those'' shampoo adds, and it a few years before he figured out just what was up with those women. [[/folder]] [[folder:Anime and Manga]] * Funnily enough for [[Tropers/{{Nausicaa}} this troper]], it's ''{{Pokemon}}''. No, not for the subject matter, or the characters, or even the FetishFuel. She had a true Moment when she watched a few episodes of the English dub again recently and understood what some of the titles were alluding to -- i.e. pop-culture references. Seriously, how could she have ''missed'' something as blatantly obvious as ''Good 'Quil Hunting''?! ** [[Tropers/MokieMorty This troper]] recently re-watched some of the old (really) old episodes out of nostalgia. Brock has a lot of... Interesting dialogue. ("She can violate my rights any time!") ** It took this troper FIVE YEARS to get what was so funny about the exchange "I didn't know there were any vikings still around." "They mostly live in Minnesota." from the first movie. ** This troper only just realized that fact that Ash had a thing for Gary's sister might explain Gary's dislike of Ash. ** Ohhh, [[{{Pokemon3}} SPELL of the Unown]]. Because...they're shaped like letters, and the little girl spells them out. *** Wow. Just wow. I never got that one. I guess I assumed there

wasn't a hidden message in the first place. * The ''SamuraiPizzaCats'' had in its opening theme song "As soon as someone finds the script we might begin the show". Initially [[Tropers/{{Peteman}} this troper]] thought it was just a throwaway line given the large amounts of fourth wall breaking... then he remembered ''the scripts to the original series were never sent over''. They made all the dialogue up. ** It took [[Tropers/EddieCurrent me]] a few years of the occasional repeats YTV used to air to get what, exactly, the dub was implying with Bad Bird and Jerry. And I really had no excuse no to catch "Ginzu Sword"... * In ''GhostHunt'', Mai's being psychic was NOT, in fact, a sudden occurrence as this troper originally thought. It was foreshadowed within the first few episodes, when she correctly guesses Naru's nickname. I can't believe it took me so long to get that. * The fact that the title ''OutlawStar'' refers to Gene's star tattoo coupled by how he's an outlaw. * Recently watching the ''FullMetalAlchemist'' dub over again for the first time in almost a year. In episode 12, a minor villain who has some fauxlosipher's stones appears to run out, and Ed and Al are surprised to find that he has more. He says, at this point: "Didn't think I had the stones?" Just now realized what he was punning. ** Two that just hit this troper- Envy is a green monster; also, the significance of a guy named ((Greed)) having a body that is made of diamond. * This one was probably unintentional on the part of the writers, but watching DigimonAdventure again when I was a senior in high school and could actually read Japanese and actually hearing Patamon say that "it was written in Digicode," made me start cracking up. Half because it was a funny thing to do, and half because I remembered vividly falling for it hook, line, and sinker around 7 or so years prior. * It wasn't until a rereading of chapter 140 of the ''KeroroGunsou'' manga that [[Tropers/{{Andyroid}} this troper]] noticed [[spoiler: Zoruru had been sitting in on Keroro's meeting from the start. That's right, Zoruru's presence is so slight even some ''readers'' [[FailedASpotCheck didn't notice he was there]].]] * DNAngel. '''D'''aisuke '''N'''iwa. I seriously just got that. I saw this anime what, six years ago? ** It tends to be the opposite for French readers, because "DNA" is "ADN" in French. So we've got an excuse for thinking the title is [[WordSaladTitle really lame]] until finding out how it goes in English, yay! * This Troper was in her school's Anime Club watching Ponyo. Lisa was having mood swings (this was the part where she was sending Morse Code messages to her husband) and someone (a girl, mind you) made a comment about how familiar this seemed. This cued This Troper to say "[[NoPeriodsPeriod You know what that calendar in the background's for, right?]]" Everyone burst into laughter, immediately understanding the joke. Another Anime Club member (a boy) thought about the joke and didn't understand it till a good 30 seconds after everyone else calmed down from their laughing fits. [[/folder]]

[[folder:BoardGames]] * It took this troper over ten years to figure out the joke behind "Mr. Boddy" from ''{{Clue}}''. He burst out laughing in the middle of class, and when asked what was so funny, just said, "It's funny because his name is 'Boddy' and he's dead." ** Doesn't work in the original version, sadly, since the deceased's name was Dr Black before the game crossed the Atlantic... [[/folder]] [[folder:ComicBooks]] * Pick an ''{{Asterix}}'' book, any ''Asterix'' book. Film parodies, political and social satire, sly tips-of-the-hat to rival cartoonists (especially Herg, creator of ''{{Tintin}}''), lampoons of French regional stereotypes... Goscinny and Uderzo packed the Asterix books with references to ensure that while the kids were enjoying the slapstick comedy and superpowered fights, the grownups could congratulate themselves on getting all the references. ** And the ''names''. Dear god, the names. If you haven't read Asterix since you were a kid, you will crack up just reading the cast list... * ThisTroper used to know every ''CalvinAndHobbes'' strip by heart, yet he can still go back, read one of the books, and suddenly get a joke that he used to be too young to understand. ** I was a very sheltered child and didn't figure out what all those [[SymbolSwearing funny symbols]] were supposed to be for an embarrassingly long time. * This 19 year old troper only just realized that Harley Quinn's name is a pun on "harlequin". * [[Tropers/DynamiteXI This troper]] used to read DisneyAdventures in the 1990s, and back right around 1993/94 they ran a comic called ''Nervous Rex'' by one William Van Horn. It wasn't until ''seventeen years later'' (in fact, less than twenty minutes ago on December 23, 2010, to you future readers) that I got the pun in the comic's title. Just kinda came to me out of the blue. * A few years back, this troper read a {{Spider-Man}} comic where he teamed up with DoctorStrange. The bad guys hit them with an attack that displaced them in time. Spider-Man ended up in the [[BatmanCanBreatheInSpace dark void before the beginning of the universe]]; Doctor Strange was sent in the other...Um, direction? Anyway, the Doctor establishes telepathic contact with Spidey, and describes his current time-space location as "cold, dark, and dismal. [[PlaceWorseThanDeath Rather like Newark]]." Spider-Man [[LampshadeHanging pointed out that Doctor Strange just told a joke]], and was told, "Yes. Unfortunately, that's considered a SignOfTheApocalypse." It took me a couple of weeks to realize that he was saying that the world was, in fact, about to end. - Classifed * Oh, okay, so the [[TheBeano Beano]] feature The Germs with Ill Will, it's "The germs with ill will". Only took about a decade. [[/folder]] [[folder:Film]] * ''WhoFramedRogerRabbit'' works on two levels: it mixes wacky cartoon

antics (for the kids and kids-at-heart) with a traditional film noir storyline (for the grownups, and the kids when they grow up). ** Not to mention the sheer amount of dirty jokes/visual puns that would fly right over a kid's head. "Booby Trap" and the "Jessica in Eddie's Office" scene comes to mind immediately. *** Or the references to Golden-Age cartoons and studios -- The Ink And Paint Club for example. ("Walt sent me.") *** And then there was the subverted ParentalBonus: the photos of Jessica Rabbit "playing patty-cake" with the victim. The photos depict... Jessica Rabbit literally playing patty-cake with the victim. *** The patty-cake scene also parodies a scene in ''Chinatown'' where a client is being shown pictures of his cheating wife. *** A guy rags on Eddie, saying that Eddie's name used to be Valiant but the guy thinks it's changed to Jack Daniels. This troper had watched the movie several times before stopping to wonder about that. Then, she remembered that Jack Daniels is an alcoholic beverage, and the guy was talking about Eddie's descent into alcoholism. * ''WillyWonkaAndTheChocolateFactory'' may suffer from AdaptationDecay, but a lot of its humor (particularly for a family film from 1971), such as the SeriousBusiness hunt for the Golden Tickets, is surprisingly sharp in a way that this troper didn't get until she was a preteen, and even more so as an adult. GeneWilder's performance in the lead could be seen as one giant LateToThePunchline moment once a kid has learned to understand both sarcasm and the various literary quotes he uses (just funny non-sequiturs to this troper as a tot). ** Not to mention this GettingCrapPastTheRadar quote from early in the movie: --->I am now telling this computer ''exactly'' what it can do with a lifetime's supply of chocolate! ** The password to the musical lock is the opening bit of the overture to ''TheMarriageOfFigaro''. Upon hearing it, Mrs. Teavee nods knowingly and says "Rachmaninoff". This joke took me ten years. ** This Troper was cast as Gwendolyn Fairfax in her high school's production of "The Importance of Being Earnest." Upon reading her script she realized that one of her lines, "The suspense is terrible! I hope it will last" was directly referenced in ''Willy Wonka.'' It was from then on known by cast and crew as "the Willy Wonka line." *** Made ''still'' funnier by the fact that OscarWilde looks rather like Gene Wilder. * [[Tropers/{{Lurkerbunny}} This troper]] just recently realized how freaking filthy RobinWilliams' dialog in ''MrsDoubtfire'' was. ** We are talking about Robin "[[GettingCrapPastTheRadar Get Shit Past The Radar]]" Williams. ** This troper remembers watching that movie years later with her mother and suddenly realizing that the two guys who help Robin's character make the costume were gay. She said this quite loudly and with an air of astonishment that put her mother in stitches. *** You think that's bad? My uncle was married to a woman who went by "Jack," as in, short for "Jacqueline." So when Williams says that "Uncle Frank and Aunt Jack" made the costume, my sister and I wondered why everybody was laughing. After all, we ''had'' an Aunt Jack. We

were kids, but still. It took a while to hit us. *** This troper understands. He has an Uncle Jessie (named after the famous outlaw) and Aunt Jack (like above Jacqueline). ** "Oh I'm sorry, am I being a little graphic? I'm sorry. Well, I hope you're up for a little competition. She's got a power tool in the bedroom, dear. It's her own personal jackhammer. She could break sidewalk with that thing. She uses it and the lights dim, it's like a prison movie. Amazed she hasn't chipped her teeth." I could go on forever, but that one is my favorite. *** ''It's like a prison movie''... I ''just'' got that part. I mean, I got the power tool joke a while back (as in, [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean I realize they're not actually discussing a traditional power tool]]), but the prison movie part. It's a reference to electric chairs. * [[Tropers/{{Clarabell}} This troper]] thought the mom in ''{{Pleasantville}}'' just ''really enjoyed the bath'' until he read a review/synopsis several years later ... ** I watched that with a high-school class and in the delicate discussion afterwards got to watch realization dawn on the face of the teacher (who wasn't a lot older than we were). * This troper first watched ''MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail'' when she was a sophomore in high school. When she watched it, she thought it was one of the stupidest things she'd ever seen. The next day she was cracking up in the middle of class over how hilarious the movie was. ** This troper's MontyPython-related LateToThePunchline moment came the first time she ''watched'' the movie, because her parents (especially her dad) spent her entire childhood saying things like "We want...a SHRUBBERY!" and she would go "Dad, you're weird." Now, of course, she's the one quoting Python at every opportunity. ** [[Tropers/{{Gizbit99}} This Troper]]'s parents had one of these upon said troper's first watching of the movie. They never understood why the ending was just solid black for a few minutes. They thought it was just them being weird. Cue this troper cracking up with laughter, as the black is because the credits people were fired during the opening of the movie. *** I had this exact same LateToThePunchline Moment just yesterday. ** And this troper just realized hat the ending with the police... was a "cop out." ** One [[Tropers/ManCalledTrue this troper's]] mother pointed out: "So we built a castle... and it sank into the swamp" and its repetitions. "But the fourth one - it stayed up!" It's not perseverence, it's because its foundation is the three that ''sank''. * It took this troper four viewings of the ''IronMan'' movie before he finally got the joke when Tony is boarding his plane and says "I got caught doing a piece for ''Vanity Fair''." I kept thinking it was the ''car.'' * It took this troper ''10 years'' and many re-watchings of ''{{Speed}}'' to get the "Oh yeah, well I'm ''taller''" taunt at the end. The fact that Keanu Reeves is actually taller than Dennis Hopper (even with his head) was confusing. * ''TheMuppetMovie'': [[Tropers/{{Revolos55}} This Troper]] loved this movie as a kid and watched it countless times. It wasn't until rewatching it almost 15 years later that the running gag of "Can you

help me? I've lost my way." / "Have you tried Hare Krishna?" made sense. ** [[Tropers/{{Twitch}} This Troper]] just had a LateToThePunchline Moment ''right now'', as Peter David slipped a reference to this into an issue early in his run on {{Comicbook/X-Factor}} -- Madrox is hunting a rogue duplicate in the Smithsonian, encounters Kermit The Frog and they exchange a similar bit of dialogue, although it's revealed that the Kermit puppet [[spoiler:is being operated by the rogue dupe, who took it from its display case and proceeds to punch his pursuer in the face with it.]] ** And while not being able to point out the specific LateToThePunchline moment, the fact that a fork in the road was an actual navigation term and not just something weird for the movie... ** Also the sheer number of cameos... Seriously, go look at [[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0079588/ the cast list]] and try to figure out how many of them you would recognize at six years old. * This troper was fairly shocked when she finally discovered exactly how dirty most of ''{{Grease}}'' really is. Holy cow, how did I get away with singing this stuff as a kid? "Well she was good, you know what I mean"? "You know that I ain't braggin, she's a real..." well. You get the idea. ** I didn't get the whole sequence after Rizzo leaves the slumber party for years and years. "What's up Kenickie" "One guess"?! "Sloppy seconds ain't my style"?! "Where are you going, to flog your log?"?! ** This troper once heard that her high school's theater troupe wanted to do ''Grease'', but the admins were worried about some of the content... Namely, ''[[CompletelyMissingThePoint the cigarettes]]''. When I heard that, I rolled my eyes so hard I had a headache for the rest of the day. * Something that goes straight over most viewer's heads, from ''BlazingSaddles'': Cleavon Little, a black man, plays a character named Bart. In other words, he's Black Bart. ** "Black Bart" was considered as a possible title for the movie. I think it got rejected because nobody got the joke. *** They eventually used the title for a failed TV {{pilot}}. ** [[{{Tropers/Mischlings}} I]] realized just today that Lili von Schtupp (aside from "Schtupp" being Yiddish slang for "fuck") was based off of Marlene Dietrich, a famous German actress from the 1930s. The song she performs in the saloon scene seems to be based off of "Falling in Love" from TheBlueAngel. I nearly burst out laughing in my history class when I saw that scene and realized where Mel Brooks got it from. * This troper finally had her LateToThePunchline moment regarding Bill Murray's character in ''{{Little Shop of Horrors}}''. That whole [[TooKinkyToTorture scenario]] went right over my head... for about eleven years. * Upon re-watching ''{{Ghostbusters}}'' for the first time in many years, This Troper suddenly realized what the "Keymaster" and "Gatekeeper" bit [[FreudWasRight was all about]]. ** You can hide behind the same excuse I do, in that the first few times it was the television edit I saw. ** It took me a while to work out what that ghost did to Ray in his

dream as well... * This Troper is ashamed to admit how long it took her to get the "Well you never know if it's going to run" joke ("A Little Priest") regarding politicians from the film/musical Sweeney Todd. She still facepalms thinking about that. ** Same thing for this Troper. She also missed the "sweep, if you want it cheap, and you like it ''dark''" until she started actually thinking about the lyrics she had been blindly singing along to. ** You almost have to read the lyrics to "A Little Priest" to get all of the jokes. My favorite (that I didn't get until I bought the DVD) was "Then actor/It's compact-er/Yeah, but always arrives overdone!" * While in the car some five or six years after seeing the movie this troper with no prompting suddenly got the "cover of ''High Times''" joke at the end of ''[[SoBadItsHorrible Road Trip]]''. * Don't ask how long it took to get the "red herring" pun from {{Clue}}. Just don't. * The last scene of ''HoneyIShrunkTheKids'' shows Nick laughing as he finally makes the connection between artificial respiration and French class. I made the connection several years after seeing the film. * Even though she watched it quite a bit when she was younger, it's only now that [[Tropers/KingSonnDeeDoo This Troper]] is getting the more 'subtle' jokes in ''RobinHoodMenInTights''. One of the more prominent being why the Merry Men gasped at Robin's '[[VisualInnuendo sword]]' in the 'Moonlight Serenade' scene. * Some time in the late 1980s, this troper saw ''YoungFrankenstein'' for the first time. Some time in May, 2009, this troper finally realized why the horses bray whenever Frau Blucher's name is mentioned. ** Most likely, that troper is wrong. Most of the commonly cited reasons are apocryphal. It really is because she's just that scary. * This troper was recently discussing ''CastAway'' with a friend, who in the middle of the conversation realized why the volleyball's name was Wilson. ** Wait, it's got a special meaning? *** It's the brand of volleyball. If you didn't notice, then the name wouldn't make much sense. * This troper never understood that [[OrphanedPunchline final punchline]] to Marlin's sea cucumber joke at the end of ''FindingNemo''. Months later it finally hit home: "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?" was an IncrediblyLamePun of that stock "with friends like these..." gag. ** This troper only understood the conversation between Marlin and Nemo ("Forgot to brush." "Ohh..." "Do you want this anemone to sting you?" "Yes." "Brush.") after learning about clownfish and sea anemones. * This editor is almost embarrassed to admit how old he was when he realized that JohnBelushi falling off the side of the sorority house in ''AnimalHouse'' was a boner joke. * Similarly, in ''{{Spaceballs}}'', when Barf says "[[ADateWithRosiePalms I'm my own best friend]]". This editor didn't figure that one out 'til his twenties. ** Referring to a dog as "man's best friend" has ''nothing to do with

sex''. *** You see, there's this thing called "DoubleEntendre"... *** ...But that wasn't one. The full line is "I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend." Mel Brooks certainly isn't above making cheap masturbation jokes, but that line honestly seems clean. * Watching ''PulpFiction'' at the age of nearly 23 was a MAJOR LateToThePunchline moment for me. So many parodies, nods, references and homages over so many years, that I had never understood previously. * [[Tropers/MtOlivePickles This troper]] has watched ''AChristmasStory'' with her family for years, and growing up was confused about why Ralphie got the bar of soap in his mouth for saying "fudge". She even thought that in some contexts, fudge could be a bad word but wasn't sure when. Fast-forward to when she was seventeen and bought the movie on DVD as a present for her dad, and going over the scene again and realizing what exactly Ralphie got in trouble for saying. Cue laughter and plenty of "How did I not get that sooner?" ** I thought he really was saying "fuck" and was confused everytime I heard "But I didn't say that, I said ''the'' word." I finally realized a year ago (at the age of 20) that I misheard every time and he was actually saying "fudge". ** About ten years ago, this troper was watching "24 Hours of ''A Christmas Story''" while helping my mom and brother put the finishing decorations on the tree. During the gift-opening scene, when the Old Man opens the (very heavy) present his wife has just plunked into his lap and exclaims, "Well, it's a blue ball!", my brother (16 at the time) started laughing so hard he couldn't breathe. Five years later, I finally got it. * [[Tropers/DaibhidC This troper]] saw ''Hard Day's Night'' several times as a teenager, but never worked out that Paul's grandfather being "a clean old man" was a reference to the same actor playing Albert Steptoe, whose son would frequently yell "you ''dirty'' old man!" Seriously, I ''never'' worked it out; I just found out just now because it gets explained on the ''SteptoeAndSon'' page. * There was a part in ''[[DarkKnightTrilogy The Dark Knight]]'' where Joker says that Batman and co will capture Lau "and make him squeal". I assumed this was just the Joker being offbeatly terrifying as usual, until I later realised the double meaning: squeal as in 'like a pig', ''and'' squeal as in 'give up information'. * ''HalfBaked'': [[Tropers/MikeK I]] was naive enough when I first saw it to not know the ''other'' meaning of giving someone "a pearl necklace" - thus CompletelyMissingThePoint of that line in the ''exact way'' the character Brian did. * In ''AustinPowers: The Spy Who Shagged Me'', FatBastard has a line about having "a turtle head poking out" - I'd never heard the expression before, and had the even more disgusting idea that there was ''literally'' a live turtle trying to escape his rear. * A while back, [[Tropers/KingSonnDeeDoo This Troper]] read a comment (on this very wiki) about how in ''[[{{Ptitle1d5irnza}} 9]]'', [[spoiler:2's dead body]] "''had that [[TheWall Pink Floyd The Wall]] mask look to him.''". She didn't really understand, but cue a few months later, reading the {{Fridge Horror}} page, where the entry for

''{{The Wall}}'' says "''...his mental representation of himself is a dead-eyed ragdoll...''", and it all suddenly made perfect sense. [[HighOctaneNightmareFuel Horrifically.]] * If serious examples count, then the following happened when this lurker first saw ''TreasurePlanet''. -->Lurker, about nine: This movie's kinda cool, but what's Jim Hawkins' ''problem''? He's so mopey! -->(Ten years later) -->Lurker, about nineteen: OH GOD, JIM HAWKINS MY BRO IN ARMS WAAAAH. * Appropriately, this example is from ''[[RockyAndBullwinkle The Adventures Of Rocky And Bullwinkle]]''. The scene where Judge Cameo (WhoopiGoldberg) lists the charges, ending with "Incriminally Bad Punning, 18 counts." Bullwinkle replied, "And three Dukes and seven Earls." It took this troper's mother a few minutes to get it and explain it to me. * I knew TinaFey had to seriously tone down her original ''MeanGirls'' script in order to get a PG-13, but it didn't occur to me how much she'd managed to [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar keep in by other means]] until I thought real hard about this line: -->'''Janis''': We could publish [the burn book], and then everybody would see what an [[CountryMatters ax-wound]] [Regina] really is! * In an example not involving the transition from childhood to adulthood, this troper only realized after quite a few viewings of ''{{Clerks}}'' what the deal is in the introduction of Jay and Silent Bob when Jay graphically propositions Silent Bob and then loudly denies being gay immediately before Willam shows up. It isn't clear why this troper never realized that Jay sees Willam approaching before the audience does and hastily tries to preserve his state of denial. * This troper watched the Mostly MontyPython film Yellowbeard when he was 8 and laughed at the character who was obviously a female with a fake moustache. When he watched it again at 21, he got the joke of the character's name: Mr. Prostitute. * In TheBigLebowski, The Dude goes to the doctor Maude recommended, and in the end of the scene the doctor prepares to give him an unexpected rectal examination. Cut to The Dude driving back home with Creedence Clearwater Revival's "Lookin' Out My Back Door" on the stereo. It took a second viewing for it to dawn on me how, er, appropriate to the prior scene the title of that song is. * The first thing that went through this lurker's mind when he saw [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y70vcs3oV14 this]] scene from ''TheMatrix'' was "So ''that's'' where they got the idea for [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWAOtAWG3wQ that commercial!]]" * The title of ''The Gore Gore Girls'' - it wasn't until I actually started watching the movie and noted the many gratuitous strip tease scenes that I realized "Oh, like ''go-go'' girls!" * It took my brother and me years to get the [[MarxBrothers "I shot an elephant in my pajamas, how he got there, I'll never know"]] joke from AnimalCrackers, because we both assumed that the elephant was wearing the pajamas right off the bat. [[/folder]] [[folder:Literature]]

* This troper had an ''eight year'' delay regarding the title ''Amber Brown is Not A Crayon.'' See, the joke is that her name is a color. ([[AntiHumor The joke was not that people aren't crayons]], as I previously thought.) * Pick a {{Discworld}} book. Any Discworld book. The sheer amount to references to everything under the sun in the books has prompted the creation of [[http://www.lspace.org/books/apf/ the reference file]]. Some of the early books became far more enjoyable once this troper was able to understand all the jokes. ** ''Witches Abroad'' is an overall satire on fairy tales and happy endings in general, but it was only some time after reading it that I spotted the significance of the main villain creating her artificial idea of the perfect fairy tale kingdom in the middle of a swamp. Hello, Disneyworld. ** It took this troper until he saw the Animated version, to get the "Elvish" and other jokes in ''Soul Music'', though as soon as I Heard it, I held my head in shame. Though I don't think I had heard of the "Bigger than Jesus" thing the first time I read it. To be fair, I did suffer from a speech problem, so even today, I sometimes don't fully connect how words sound and how they are spelt. *** Ditto with the MeaningfulName of ''Imp Y Celin'', when this troper read it at age twelve (yeah, I had few friends), I never got the point of ''Bud (Y) of the Holly''. *** The "Bigger than Cheeses" line isn't in the book, anyway. It's one of a few gags the scriptwriters added, and Pterry said he ''wished'' he'd thought of. ** I just realised, ''this morning'', that "knurd" is "drunk" spelled backwards. Only took me, what, twelve years? ** [[Tropers/DaibhidC This troper]] only recently realised, after reading ''Wyrd Sisters'' countless times, that when the Duke protests that he's ''not'' the Fool's "nuncle", this is the same foreshadowing as Granny's "A man has to be a born fool to be a king". ** [[Discworld/CarpeJugulum Count de Magpyre]]. [[OneForSorrowTwoForJoy Count]] [[FunetikAksent de]] [[OneForSorrowTwoForJoy magpies]]. [[Tropers/JET73L I]] would have {{facepalm}}ed had it been enough. ** [[Tropers/{{Andyroid}} This troper]] can't believe it took himself so long to figure out why, in ''Discworld/FeetOfClay'', Mr. Ironcrust got mad after Carrot stopped the unlicensed thieves from robbing his store: Carrot had ([[ObfuscatingStupidity unwittingly?]]) caught him out on his claim that he was a taxpayer, and now he was most likely about to be audited. ** In ''Discworld/TheLastContinent'', the titular continent of XXXX was put onto the Disc after its original creation by an entirely different Creator than the one introduced in ''Discworld/{{Eric}}''... which given all the jokes about evolutionary theory in the book may or may not be a subtle reference to a letter written by Charles Darwin during an expedition in Australia: -->I have been lying on a sunny bank and was reflecting on the strange character of the animals of this country as compared to the rest of the World. An unbeliever in everything beyond his own reason might exclaim, '''"Surely two distinct Creators must have been at work."'''

[emphasis mine] ** [[Tropers/KingSonnDeeDoo This Troper]] was riding her bike when she only got the pun in the blurb for ''[[Discworld/MenAtArms Men At Arms]]'', about Nobby being 'disqualified from the human race for shoving'. As in ''a race you run''. * I found and read my father's copy of ''TheHitchHikersGuideToTheGalaxy'' when I was seven. I liked it overall, but it took me ''nine years'' to get the "it's unpleasantly like being drunk'' joke. I was sixteen and sitting on a bus thinking about nothing in particular when it suddenly dawned on me. (Actually, when I went back and re-read that book as an adult I realised how many other jokes I'd missed, so I guess pretty much all of it could fall under this trope.) ** This troper was actually thinking over the above moment and wondering what the joke was because he ''still'' didn't get it...before getting it. The full joke, for those who don't remember, is "It's unpleasantly like being drunk", "What's so unpleasant about being drunk?", "You ask a glass of water." This troper thought it was just riffing on drinking lots of water being a hangover cure -[[spoiler:in fact, it's talking about being drunk like a glass of water is drunk.]] *** This troper literally woke up knowing the answer. She didn't get it for years until she figured it out ''in a dream'', woke up, and realized it wasn't normal dream nonsense, and that the explanation actually made sense. *** This troper was actually ashamed that it took her the better part of a decade to get the joke. *** This troper would like to thank you for explaining that joke, since he's only had the chance to read the translated (Finnish in this case) version of the book, and it made no sense there. *** This troper only got the joke recently. She was walking along the street and suddenly understood it. "Drunk! A glass of water is drunk. You drink a glass of water." ** Another example: This Troper remembers a story about a kid who watched a short film about pollution, after which the teach casually remarked that the car looked like an old Ford Prefect. The kid suddenly burst out laughing, as he finally realized where the ''Hitchhiker's'' character's name had come from. *** Even funnier if you remember how Ford met Arthur. (Arthur saved him from getting hit by a car due to Ford thinking that cars were the dominant species on Earth.) **** For bonus points, the car that nearly hits him in the movie is a Ford Prefect. **** In the novel, there's a line about Ford Prefect assuming his name ''because'' he thought cars were the dominant species. (He was trying to blend in.) ** It took This Troper several years of intermittent exposure to information on RichardNixon to realize that the name of the computer Deep Thought may be a pun on Deep Throat (Adams himself having identified it as an "incredibly obvious pun"). *** Perhaps ThatTroper isn't quite old enough to remember Linda Lovelace...

** About the third time I read the first book in the series, I finally understood how that mind control alien DrinkingGame had this [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean penalty that was "obscenely biological" and Ford Prefect played to lose]]. ** It took [[Tropers/QuantumToast this troper]] several months to get the "Stavro Mueller Beta" thing. ** [[Tropers/FusionDragon This troper]] only recently got the joke behind the phrase "the scale of the problem is not widely understood". ** [[Tropers/DaibhidC This troper]] only recently realised that the Guide's publisher, Megadodo Publications, isn't just a funny collection of syllables, but named after a "Mega-dodo" in the same way as "Mega-donkey" and "Mega-grasshopper". And, therefore, is probably a reference to a ''real'' publishing company named after a flightless bird... * The first few times This Troper read ''ArtemisFowl,'' she completely failed to pay attention to the pen names the main character used when submitting articles to scientific journals. Then she noticed that Artemis had published an article on psychology under the name [[FreudianSlip Dr. F. Roy Dean Schlippe]]. ** I didn't realise there was a joke there at all until they explained the other joke pen name in the fifth book (C. Niall [=DeMencha=] = Senile Dementia). Then I looked back at the name F. Roy Dean Schlippe and finally got it. * This Troper just got one -- during the introduction scene of ''[[StarWars Starfighters of Adumar]]'', Derek "Hobbie" Klivian tells the mission documentarian, "I'll get back with you on my last name. Lots of people misspell it." Indeed, [[MythologyGag his name goes back and forth between "Klivian" and "Klivan"]] depending on the source. * Machiavelli's work, ''The Prince'' is filled with these. One good example: He describes Charles XII of France's troubles with invading Italy, one of them being that he could not deal with the Vatican, ultimately appeasing it, which was his ruin. The next chapter describes Alexander the Great's ease of conquering Darius's kingdom, which falls into a system much like the contemporary Turks, as opposed to the French. ''Sixteen'' chapters later, he compares the Vatican to the Turks, almost in an off-hand way. In essence, he's told the reader ''how to conquer the Catholic Church''. This is also a prime example of GettingCrapPastTheRadar. * Peter David's ''SirAproposOfNothing'' series has [[HurricaneOfPuns so many injokes]] that sometimes it took three readings for this troper to get them all. * Laden with historical in-jokes and literary shout-outs as it is, the ''AnnoDracula'' series by KimNewman is just freaking made for LateToThePunchline moments. For example, in ''Bloody Red Baron'', the scene with the doctor and his assistant [[HPLovecraft West]] operating on vampires didn't really hit me until much later. Nor did the incident in which the Red Baron shoots a [[{{Peanuts}} small, annoying white dog...]] * Norton Juster's ''The Phantom Tollbooth'' is a classic, and most kids find it funny, but it wasn't until I re-read it at the age of 19, on a whim, that I got all of the puns. The book definitely operates on two levels -- half of the jokes go over your head unless you're old

enough to have heard the phrases they're punning on. * This troper used to read {{Animorphs}} as a kid, and was also a pokemon fan. It was not until recently reading the Tropes page for the series that the joke "I have already made sure, Prince Jake. They think I am a "pokey man." I have told them I am an Andalite and am actually quite swift, but they insist they need to train me." refered to Pokemon. * It took this troper an embarassingly long time to realize the puns behind the street names Diagon Alley and Knockturn Alley in the ''HarryPotter'' books. (The names sound like the words 'diagonally' and 'nocturnally'. ** I only just got the Knockturn one now. ** Grim Old Place, anyone? ** Almost a reverse example: American child reads ''HarryPotter''. In the first (?) book, the Dursleys send Harry a fifty-pence piece for Christmas. Ron marvels over the shape and says, "This is ''money''?" I assumed the joke was that wizarding coins are some kind of bizarre shape so that a regular round coin seemed weird to him. It wasn't until a few years later I found out that that coin is ''heptagonal'' (what madness is this, anyway?). ** For a more straightforward example: When this troper first read GobletOfFire, I thought Hagrid greeting Madame Maxime by saying "bingsewer" was just silly. Four years later, I started my first year of French in high school. When we started learning the greetings and came across "''bonsoir''" ("good evening"), I got it. * [[Tropers/DaibhidC This troper]] was an adult before it occured to him that when [[WinnieThePooh Eeyore]] loses his tail, and Christopher Robin fastens it back on with a nail, he's ''pinning the tail on the donkey''. * The map at the beginning of TheToughGuideToFantasyland is a map of Europe turned upside-down. I have had that book for what, three years now? * This troper knew that DavidWeber liked to use ''{{Safehold}}'s'' naming conventions play with names. One example he knew because of the wiki was [[{{Superman}} Kynt Clareyk]]. One he utterly failed to see, however, until it was emphasized for a separate reason, was [[{{Psycho}} Nahrmahn Baytz]]. * More of a fandom thing than actually to do with the LordOfTheRings books, but the Agent Smith/Elrond jokes were much funnier after I actually saw TheMatrix. * About a week ago this troper realized that [[{{Wayside School}} "Wayside"]] was an anagram of "Sideways", which is how the school is built. * This troper realized just a few minutes ago that [[AnansiBoys Nancy]] is a crude pun on Anansi. ** And the title ''AnansiBoys'' itself is a pun on "nancy boy", the word for gay people back when "gay" meant "happy". * It took a few math and physics classes for this troper to realize that the [[ShowWithinAShow book within a book]] [[ThursdayNext "The Squire of High Potternews"]] refers to the Pythagorean Theorem. * [[{{Odile}} I]] read ''[[NineteenEightyFour 1984]]'' before I knew much about the USSR. I reread the book recently, and I think I

might've actually said "Oh!" out loud while doing so. * From the HonorHarrington series, this reader kept seeing references to "Oyster Bay" without making the obvious (in hindsight) connection, perhaps having been spoofed by knowledge of Oyster Bay, Long Island. Then one morning, the penny dropped: a bay can also be a harbor, and what comes from oysters? * When I was ten I read a kid's joke book with the following: "Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana." For years I puzzled over this one: thrown banana, thrown banana ... yes, it would fly like a piece of fruit, what the heck is the joke? It's only very recently that it occurred to me that the joke might just be referring to fruit flies. * When this troper first read Robert Asprin's ''[[MythAdventures Myth Directions]]'', the joke of the setup--in which the city-states of Veygus and Ta-Hoe, in the dimension of Jahk, have a Big Game every year--passed completely over her head. (Earlier, she also didn't get why gnomes came from the dimension of Zoorik.) * ''Lord of Light'' by RogerZelazny has one part that goes through an extensive build-up to produce the line: [[spoiler:"Then the fit hit the Shan."]] It was at least two years after first reading it that this troper did the inversion -- and he wasn't even reading the book at the time; just remembering it. * Not a joke, but early in AndreNorton's ''Year of the Unicorn'' a minor character exclaims that she'd rather "wed steel" than marry one of the [[TheFairFolk Were-Riders]]. It took this troper fifteen or twenty '''years''' to realize she was talking about suicide by knife. * This Troper read a book of toned down Greek Mythology when he was a young'un that detailed the marriage of Aphrodite to Hephaestus who wooed the goddess by saying he "worked late." At first, he thought it was sweet that she appreciated his hard work but [[YourCheatingHeart knowing what I know now about]] [[SleepsWithEveryoneButYou Aphrodite]] * ''HouseOfLeaves''. Leaves as in paper. So, [[color:blue:House]] of paper, and the [[color:blue:house]] is a labyrinth, and the book is a labyrinth, so ''the [[color:blue:house]] is the book''. I ''just'' got the double meaning of the title. The damn cover is even blue, and it took me this long? * I started reading ''ASeriesOfUnfortunateEvents'' when I was about 12 or 13. I never got the joke behind Uncle Monty's name until about seven years later as a sophomore in college, when this thought process went through my head: -->''I probably should get around to watching FearAndLoathingInLasVegas someday. I mean, it's got Johnny Depp and it's directed by a Python...is that the right term for a member of MontyPython? Maybe- OH! His name is'' '''''MONTY''''' ''and he works with reptiles, including'' '''''PYTHONS!''''' ''Wow, I'm slow.'' [[/folder]] [[folder:LiveActionTV]] * ''MysteryScienceTheater3000'' is the king of this. Nearly 200 episodes of that 90 minute long show exist, and each episode is piled high with layers of cultural reference humor, including metareferences, call-backs, and MemeticMutation (for example, their

joke "I thought you were Dale" when a movie calls attention to someone's hand resulted from either a) the writers misremembering two different commercials as the same commercial or b) metareferencing the parody film Kentucky Fried Movie). Often, their references were very specific. An untold amount of space on the WWW and Usenet has been dedicated to discovering the origins of all their references, some of which were extremely specific or obscure. When asked about specific jokes in interviews, the writers themselves can't always identify the origin of a joke. Some of the jokes from the series, which ended almost ten years ago, are still mysteries. In addition, the show, while being very family friendly, was not above slipping in more risque ParentalBonus style LateToThePunchline Moments. This density is one of the major reasons individual episodes have such great rewatchability (see also: BetterOnDVD). * When this troper was a child, she innocently watched an episode of ''SesameStreet'' featuring a special guest named "Polly Darton." Several years later after hearing some news tidbit about Dolly Parton, she finally understood what had been pegged as boring. * Anyone who watched ''SesameStreet'' as a kid will probably have a bunch of "Oh, so that's what they were parodying" moments when they get older. ** For instance, this troper remembered a bit with an orange in a kitchen singing opera. Only upon embarking on a nostalgia binge did he realize that the orange was singing Carmen. ** Also, Placido Flamingo. ** "[[{{Columbo}} Colaaaaaambo]]" the PrivateDetective, too. ** Don't forget their extended [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vftf8TTve4s parody]] of ''TwinPeaks'', of all things. ** This troper can only imagine his kids' reaction when they figure out the MadMen sketch. * This troper grew up watching ''{{Seinfeld}}'' with his parents. It wasn't until he watched all the episodes again on DVD that he realized how much of the show he didn't get the first time around. * A scene from an episode of ''{{Friends}}'' has Rachel and Ross breaking up when he says he won't take full responsibility for their previous breakup. He leaves after the fight, at which point she shouts to him, "And hey, just so you know, it's ''not'' that common, it ''doesn't'' happen to every guy, and it ''is'' a big deal!" at which point Chandler shouts "I KNEW IT!" It took this troper ''five years'' to finally figure out that they weren't talking about the breakup itself. ** This Troper did the same thing with all the jokes about Joey having small feet. As well as countless other jokes. They were really too young to watch ''{{Friends}}''... ** When Joey got Chandler a bracelet and asked him to imagine what it would do for his sex life, this troper never understood Chandler's response--that once he got used to the extra weight, he'd be back on track. Only after rewatching the episode for probably the tenth time about five years later and finally realizing that Chandler didn't have much of a sex life did it finally make sense. * This troper only figured out a week before ''Series/{{Heroes}}'''

third series finale that "Elle" is so named because it's the first syllable of "electricity". ** [[LateToThePunchline Oh christ.]] -->Recursive trope moment? ** Another layer is that "Elle" = "L," as in '''L'''ightning. * ''TheAdventuresOfPeteAndPete'' was surprisingly sophisticated for a kids' show, making cultural references no one in its intended audience could have possibly gotten. For one example, in the episode with Little Pete tunneling his way out of being grounded, he finds a wallet underground, looks in it, and says "Hoffa!" and pockets it. There was no kid in the early 1990s who knew about the disappearance of trade unionist Jimmy Hoffa. * In ''DharmaAndGreg'', it's revealed that Larry and Abby nickname each other Major Tom and Ground Control. This becomes much funnier and more fitting when you find out what the song "Space Oddity" is actually about. * This Troper had one of those moments involving ''TheGoonShow'', and specifically an interview with PeterSellers and Harry Secombe where Sellars was explaining that they sometimes [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar got crap past the radar]]. His example was the character name Hugh Jympton, pronounced "Hugh Jampton", said it was rhyming slang for something else, and muttered the something else inaudibly to me, but to gales of laughter from the studio audience. Years later, I was leaving university for the day and, out of nowhere, thought "Hugh Jampton, Huge Hampton, Hampton Wick... oooh!", realising immediately that [[TheTwoRonnies another British comedy]] had for '''an entire season''' run a serialised sketch called "Hampton Wick"! * This troper, a nanny in her twenties, took far too long to realize that London Tipton of ''TheSuiteLifeOfZackAndCody'' was a NoCelebritiesWereHarmed, [[{{Disneyfication}} Disneyfied]] version of Paris Hilton. * This troper, not two days ago, got a joke from ''MalcolmInTheMiddle'' about "some girl named Molly Hatchet." * This troper finally got this one joke from the SpinCity episode "The Rivals", in which the Mayor has accidentally caused former mayor Abe Garfield's death during an attempt to appease him, and blames himself for it. And this is in spite of having the [=DVDs=] for over three months and having watched it who knows how many times... -->'''James:''' Morning, sir. -->'''Mayor Winston:''' (somberly) Yes, I am, son. (hands on James's shoulders) The whole city is. (pats him on the shoulder, quietly) I'm sorry... * This Californian troper was watching ''{{Rocky}}'', set it Philadelphia during very cold weather, and thought, "Hmm, I wonder why it's never that cold in ''ItsAlwaysSunnyInPhiladelphia''. Ohh... right." * It was far into adulthood that I got the joke behind "Fargo North, Decoder" in TheElectricCompany. * This Troper's mother had quite a beautiful one regarding ''Wallace and Gromit: A Close Shave'' that she has never since been allowed to forget. A sheep is put through a machine which washes him, then shears him. Wallace then picks him up and says "We'll call him Shaun." The

family all laughed, including my mother. Three years later, she suddenly cried out "Oh, ''that's'' why he was called Shaun the Sheep!" Yes mother. Yes, it was. ** This troper thought for the longest time that he was straight-up called Shorn... * This troper's first watching of the Red Dwarf episode "Polymorph" was when she was about nine. Cue the scene of Kryten wearing his groinal attachment removing Lister's shrinking underpants and she giggled because it looked silly. It wasn't that funny. Many years later, an older and wiser troper watched the scene. And fell off the sofa laughing as she saw exactly what everyone else was seeing! * When This Troper was a kid, my parents REFUSED to explain to me a joke in BlackAdder where BlackAdder, Baldric and Percy were all framing the Baby-Eating Bishop of Canterburry by getting him drunk, and in the morning he wakes up in a bed with Percy in a very unusual costume. ** I only ''just'' had a LateToThePunchline moment about that very episode: I just realised that the beginning scene with Molly the inexpensive prostitute is a false ChekhovsGun, with the audience expected to think that she would be the "second figure" in the painting at the end -- making the reveal that it's actually Percy even funnier. * It took me several years to get the double meaning of [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRIwuxqKyyk this]] Swedish Chef-skit. * I only just realised why the prosthetic-nose maker from ''RedDwarf: Back to Earth'' was named Swallow (i.e. because the character he's based on -- the eye-designer from ''BladeRunner'' -- is named Chew). * A particularly embarrassing one: ''PushingDaisies'''s first episode is called "Pie-lette." ''[[{{Pilot}} Pie-lette]]''. I'm bad with puns, okay? * Much to his eternal shame, it took this Troper well over a year to realise that the "Dancing" the ''[[Series/DoctorWho Doctor]]'' keeps referring to in The Doctor Dances is actually ''[[IfYouKnowWhatIMean the horizontal tango]]''. ** Don't feel bad. This troper and a few friends were watching that episode (one for the first time) when one of them brought this up. Cue angry glares at her for trying to ruin a lovely, harmless, completely innocent episode of ''Series/DoctorWho'' for the rest of us, followed by fits of giggles every time the word "dance" is mentioned after we realize she's actually right. * ''SaluteYourShorts'' had Kevin Lee, a counselor who was called Ug by the campers, making his name Ug Lee. That went way over my head as a kid. * [[Tropers/JET73L I]] was pondering the IdiosyncraticEpisodeNaming of ''TheBigBangTheory'', and how most of the episode titles seem only tangentially related to the overarching plot of the episode until you think about the weave of the plot threads. After two years of watching the show (plus most of the first season on DVD), I only ''just'' realized that the title was a play on words about sex. * This troper didn't understand the following joke from {{Glee}} until a friend in the drama department explained that it was about oral sex. -->'''Rachel''': I guess I don't have much of a gag reflex.

-->'''Emma''': One day, when you're older, that'll turn out to be a gift. * I have one from (believe it or not) FullHouse: I was in college before I realized Joey was lying to Michelle about newlyweds Jesse and Becky "doing their taxes". * I didn't get it until I was an adult that the bad ringmaster on TheGreatSpaceCoaster's name was a pun: M. T. Promises. * [[{{JinxedBlackcat}} This Troper]] only realized today that the Bones episode title Mayhem on the Cross was ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin because ''the victim's stage name was Mayhem and his bones were crucified!!'' * This troper and her big sister were watching Scrubs, the episode where we find out Turk has diabetes to be exact. When Carla puts the bowl of Milano's in front of Turk and JD mispronounces them, he says Mulattoes. Naturally, I laugh hysterically, while sis just looks confused. Later we go to a bakery and she picks now, where everyone can hear her, to ask: "I don't get why JD said 'Milado's was racist. He was just a letter away right?". I explained it to my older sister and she laughed, only to point at the black and white cookies and say: "No those are Mulattoes!". Of course everyone heard her and we couldn't pay quick enough! * This troper JUST NOW, ten years after it aired, got the joke in the title of the ''{{Scrubs}}'' episode "My Bed Banter & Beyond." In my defense, there are no Bed, Bath & Beyond stores within perhaps 100 miles of where I live, but still * This troper saw the Seinfeld episode with Jerry's girlfriend whose name he couldn't remember when he was a child. It took him a decade to realize what part it sounded like. * This troper took 3 years to get a few of the jokes in ''FawltyTowers''. One is when Basil says, "The Samaritans were engaged" -- meaning he couldn't call them as the phone line was busy. As a child brought up atheist, and therefore having never heard of the Good Samaritans, and having always used 'busy' instead of 'engaged' when referring to phone lines, I initially thought it was about a couple (the Samaritans) getting engaged to be married, and wondered what the line was doing there. The other one was when Basil says that the police were busy, since there was a lot of "bloodshed at the NellGwyn Tearooms last night." I was mystified, having never heard of the tearooms, until my father explained to me that tearooms are peaceful, dignified places that old ladies go to. [[/folder]] [[folder:Music]] * This troper listened to TomLehrer songs from an early age; early enough to have had a moment when he realized what the "Old Dope Peddler" was selling. ** Try re-listening to the song ''Smut'' * This troper's parents listened to a lot of MeatLoaf when I was a child. I liked it but never understood it, until one day when I was about ten years old I turned to my father wide-eyed and asked, "Dad, is this song about sex?" The look on his face still makes me grin years later.

** The baseball sequence in the middle of "Paradise by the Dashboard Lights" (I assume that's the above) took a while with [[{{Scifantasy}} me]], too, when I was younger. Apparently, they didn't tell Phil Rizzuto about it either -- he thought the script was improbably full of close calls, and didn't realize what he was actually "narrating" until he heard finished song. * [[Tropers/TheStray This Troper]] has a LateToThePunchline moment when he found out a song called "Let's Go Crazy," which he'd only head as a kid on a Nintendo Piano lesson, was actually a song... done by Prince. ''That'' Prince. Though this may be more a case of CoveredUp, since I'd never actually heard the lyrics before... * Since the middle 1980s, [[Tropers/LooneyToons this troper]] has had (and frequently listened to) a copy of Tom Paxton's song "I Sold A Hammer To The Pentagon", written during the Reagan-era Pentagon procurement scandals in which the military paid outrageously high prices for everyday goods, like [[http://news.cnet.com/2009-1009_35404307.html $436 for a hammer]]. It was only in early 2008 that he figured out the punchline: the song comes in three verses, in the form "I sold X to the Pentagon, so you can sell Y, and we'll both be millionaires", where in the first two X and Y are related -hammers/nails, coffee pots/coffee. In the third verse, he sold toilet seats and merely says "you know what you can sell to the... Pentagon". It took this troper over twenty years to figure out Paxton was coyly saying that you could sell literal shit to the Pentagon and get them to pay through the nose for it. * How many people figure out on their own that ''[[TheBeatles Rubber Soul]]'' is a pun? ** Or even that the name The Beatles itself is one? ** This troper didn't realize how dirty Back in the USSR is until she was singing it out loud with some friends. * [[Tropers/YourObedientSerpent This Troper]] just had one ''right this very minute'', when a friend mentioned getting "[=BuFu'd=]" by a computer virus, and I ''finally'', after ''almost three decades'', realized what Moon Unit Zappa was calling her effeminate teacher when she dubbed him "Mr. [=BuFu=]" in the 1981 song, "Valley Girl". ** [[Tropers/{{Wheezy}} This troper]] just had that same realization while reading your comment, and is having a LateToThePunchline moment as he types this.[[hottip:* :He always thought she was saying "BooHoo," and was wondering why that made so little sense.]] * [[Tropers/HeadacheJohn This Troper]] was doing a project in high school, and for reasons lost to the mists of time was transcribing the lyrics to the Dave Matthews Band song "Two Step." Halfway through, he shouted "[[FreudWasRight THIS IS ALL ABOUT SEX!]]" confusing his mother and passersby. ** This troper had the same reaction to "Crash Into Me". * This troper listened to a lot of Sammy Hagar as a kid (This being my first exposure to heavy metal); my favorite song being ''There's Only One Way to Rock''. It wasn't until roughly 10 years later, that I finally figured out what some of the lyrics meant...and I wound up liking the song even more. * When [[Tropers/MikeK I]] first heard "Violin" by TheyMightBeGiants, I thought the bridge dividing George Washington's head into quarters

was just an arbitrary bit of silliness, albeit one that fit in perfectly with the song's already [[WordSaladLyrics absurd lyrical bent]], as well as TMBG's odd fixation with severed heads in general. I then realized it kind of makes a surreal sort of sense to divide George Washington's head into quarters, since George Washington's head is ''on'' quarters. It also took me ridiculously long to realize the TMBG EP title ''Back To Skull'' was a pun on "Back to school". ** And George Washington's head is also on the one dollar bill, which when divided into quarters yields four quarters, both fractionally and monetarily. * It took reading this site for [[Tropers/AirshipCanon this troper]] to realize that The All American Reject's "Move Along" is about a guy trying to convince his girlfriend to not commit suicide. Namely, ''after'' he had made an anime music video using the song and TalesOfSymphonia (and its then-upcoming OVA). Guess what the [[TheReveal big event]] one third of the way into that game is? [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin Exactly.]] * [[Tropers/{{Emiko}} This troper]] has a song called "GreenLantern: Hal Jordan," by J-Sin Starr, on her computer in [=MP3=] form. The track's album title is listed as "Three Million New Yorkers Died And You Weren't One Of Them." Over two years after having acquired the song, she read [[{{Watchmen}} her first Western comic.]] She laughed very, very hard when she realized that the album title was a reference to that comic. * This troper's LateToThePunchline moment came when, after not hearing it for six or so years, recalled this poem. -->Mary had a little lamb/She also had a duck/She took it round the corner to teach it how to... -->Fry some eggs for breakfast/Fry some eggs for tea/The more you eat the more drink the more you want to... -->Peter had a boat, the boat began to rock/Up jumped jaws and bit off his.... -->Cocktails, gingerales, 40c a glass/If u dont like it, we'll shove 'em up your.... -->Ask no questions, tell no lies/I once saw a policeman doing up his.... -->Flies are bad, mosquitoes are worse/And that is the end of my silly little verse. ** ...Now children, what rhymes with duck? This troper was singing this to someone trying to recollect it, but couldn't get past the first line as the penny dropped. It was the only line that needed a LateToThePunchline moment however, as the rest was self explanatory to an eleven year old. ** This happens a lot with the "Miss Suzy" rhymes. You learn them as a little child to play clapping games to (I was about 7), and don't get how completely ''filthy'' they are for a long, long time. There are many versions, some talking about kissing, bras, flies, etc. For reference: ---> Miss Suzy had a steamboat, her steamboat had a bell ---> Miss Suzy went to heaven, her steamboat went to ... ---> Hello operator, please give me number nine ... * One of [[Tropers/RobinZimm this troper]]'s favorite songs from

TheWho as a child was "Squeeze Box". Today, reading GettingCrapPastTheRadar ... * WeirdAlYankovic is considered family-friendly, and [[Tropers/FalconPain this troper]] started listening to him at a young age. Which meant it was between ten and fifteen years later that he understood the meaning of "I'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love, and I have to use the self-service pumps". ** This troper had the SAME DAMN thing happen to him. As a kid, he always thought that line was lame. And then...suddenly, it was funny. * [[Tropers/MikeK I]] didn't fully get the joke of "Don't Pick It Up" by The Offspring until I started listening to more ska (well, specifically, I think it was when I first heard Operation Ivy's "Sound System" that I, er, picked it up): Ska songs often have musical breaks where the vocalist will shout "pick it up, pick it up, pick it up!", so The Offspring wrote a ska song about things one ''shouldn't'' pick up (such as dog feces, venereal disease, and gender benders). * Listening to Julia Nunes' "Stairwell" [[Tropers/MikeK this troper]] just now realized what was meant by "I'm lying here on the floor just like the man on the yellow cone": think of the fallen stick figure on the slippery floor signs. * Once I found out the name of music magazine ''NME'' actually stands for "New Musical Express", the Gin Blossoms' album title ''New Miserable Experience'' seemed a lot more clever. * This trooper had known the song "Girl at the Rock Show" by Blink-182 for years, but it wasn't until her senior year of highschool, that she stopped in her tracks while listing to the song and shouted "OH! Bon Jovi!" to the line "She took my hand / And I made it, I swear". * [[Tropers/MikeK I]] just figured out that the band name Days Of The New is sort of a reversal of "news of the day". * I know I'm dating myself by admitting this, but back in the early Eighties when I was still a tween, there was a band named April Wine who came out with a song called "If You See Kay," which I loved. I heard it on the radio, sang it all the time and even taped it (and back in my day, we didn't have those fancy MP3 players. We recorded songs by holding a tape recorder in front of the radio, ''and we liked it!''). It wasn't until a few years later that I realized that the title of the song was actually the spelling of a certain word (sound it out). ** Wait, so Britney isn't even being original? Lamer. I had one of these moments when I tried to figure out what was up with "If you seek amy" - I had to overhear someone explaining it to someone else before I got it. * This troper used to listen to, and sing along with, Eve 6's "Inside Out" when young. Several years later, I find it on iTunes, put it on my iPod, and start singing along... "Tie me to the beeeedpost!" Wait, ''[[HeadTiltinglyKinky what?]]'' * It took this Troper a while to figure out that David Bowie's stage name came from the main character of 2001: A Space Odyssey, Dave Bowman. Similarly, the song title Space Oddity. ** It's an interesting coincidence, but Bowie actually was using that stage name at least a little before the movie came out, as an homage to [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Bowie Jim Bowie]].

* [[Tropers/{{Nausicaa}} This troper]] used to really like the song "Metarie", by Brendan Benson when she was around eleven or twelve. She hadn't listened to it until recently, when she realised what the line "bought some mags on the way home/For later on, ya know, when I'm all alone" [[ADateWithRosiePalms really]] meant. * When I was in Grade 5, other kids used to ask me, "Can you sing high?" At the time, I could go well into the alto range and would gladly demonstrate this for them... only to have them laugh and/or repeat the question. At that time, there was a song in the top-40 charts called "High", but it took me well into high school to realize this was what they meant. * The ultimate one for me: It took me over a decade to notice that "The Beatles" was spelled differently than insect "beetles" and that their spelling was meant to refer to a beat, as in the beat of a song. Then immediately, I realized that arguably the greatest band in music history had arguably the lamest band name of all time, and it saddens me to this day. ** See above. It's probably a triple pun. * Took this Troper a while to get what "U + Ur Hand" meant. [[{{ADateWithRosiePalms}} Heeeee.]] * [[Tropers/{{Dinru}} Dinru, the brilliant one,]] just realized that the Christmas Carol "We Wish You A Merry Christmas" isn't so much about ''Christmas'' per se, so much as wanting some [[SeriousBuisness goddamn figgy pudding]]. * [[Tropers/{{Freezer}} This Troper]] was in his early 30s when he realized that Kool & The Gang's "Tonight" was about a boy getting his v-card punched by an older woman. ThisTroper blames the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XA3DOBY1BgY sanitized video]]. * The Arrogant Worms has a song [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJXZLnMPiQ4 me like hockey]]. The last few seconds have them suddenly screaming "Yeah!" I just realized that they're imitating the siren that plays at the end of a hockey game. * I just figured out that XTC's album title ''White Music'' is a play on the phrase "white noise". * A few days ago I made the connection between the fact that Kate Ceberano's song "Pash" is about deep kissing, and that the music video included subtitles in French, besides thinking French = romantic. * [[OzzyOsbourne Crazy Train]]'s opening riff sounds like a [[StealthPun starting locomotive]]. I didn't realize that for ''years''! ** I'd bet there's very likely an entire subpage to come out of subtle stuff like that. Consider, for example, Pink's "Just Like A Pill" and its signature looped triangle[[spoiler:/heart monitor]]. ** Similarly, it took me a while to figure out that the intro to The Yardbirds' version of "Train Kept A Rollin'" (which Aerosmith also borrowed for their cover) is supposed to sound like a train whistle. * {{Nirvana}}'s "Gallons Of Rubbing Alcohol Flow Through The Strip" is mostly full of WordSaladLyrics (which is justifiable because it's completely improvised), but there is in fact a clever bit of wordplay/dark humor I missed at first: -->Somebody else already used the word aurora borealis

-->She was tied up in chains, and Sam had helped her in the freezer ** See, we go from Aurora bore''alis'' to AliceInChains to Alice from TheBradyBunch apparently getting chained up in a meat locker by Sam The Butcher. That last part might seem like kind of s stretch, but there's a general "wholesome sitcom characters with a dark secret" theme in common with "Floyd The Barber". * It took me a long time to figure out that TheBeastieBoys' "Negotiation Limerick File" isn't just called that because it mentions limericks and ends in the line "Let's try to negotiate"... The lyrics roughly follow the meter and rhyme scheme of a limerick. For instance: -->I tell you everybody I've had it -->With all these people with static -->I'll go insane -->if it don't rain -->Sucker MC's are problematic * The band Love have an album called ''Four Sail''. It took me some time to realize it was a PunBasedTitle ("for sale"), and a bit longer to figure out it was also a play on the band's name ("love for sale"). * I used to think {{Tool}}'s "Hooker With A Penis" just had a weird, NonAppearingTitle. Then I realized that since the song is about the band supposedly selling out, the significance of the title is that Maynard James Keenan is comparing himself to a prostitute. * Warren Zevon's "Werewolves Of London" has the lines "You better stay away from him / he'll rip your lungs out, Jim", and the mention of Jim always sort of bugged me because it seemed like it was just there for the sake of rhyme. Later on, I realized it was actually part of a punny ShoutOut to one of his comtemporaries: the very next line mentions a tailor. Jim, tailor, James Taylor. * {{Radiohead}} have a dvd compilation of the music videos made for ''The Bends'' and ''Ok Computer'' called ''7 Television Commercials''. It took me a really long time to figure out they were calling their music videos advertisements for the albums. * ElvisCostello's "Chemistry Class" has an odd skip in the middle of the line "if it wasn't for some accidents then some of us would never learn", rendering the word "accidents" as "acciden-accidents". The first time I heard it I thought my cd was skipping - when I listened again and it happened in the same place, I thought there was some weird mastering mistake in this version of the album or something. Then I finally got that it was an intentional "mistake" occuring right when the lyrics mention ''accidents''. * It took me a while to figure out the significance of the title of Sloan's ''The Double Cross''. It was released when they'd been together for exactly 20 years, and the album title subtly acknowledges this - 20 in roman numerals is XX, or a ''double cross''. I didn't get it until I was at a show and noticed all of their crew had jackets that said "XX" on back, and that all their gear was similarly marked. [[/folder]] [[folder:NewspaperComics]] * The series ''TheFarSide'' was notorious for this; there's a story about a college professor who placed a number of the cartoons on the

door of his classroom -- the more jokes his students got, the more they had learned. ** The infamous "Cow Tools" cartoon played with this in [[MindScrew epic fashion]] -- readers kept expecting to get the joke when the entire point of the strip was that the punchline was gibberish. ** Several of the cartoons are puns that [[Tropers/{{Tabs}} this troper]] took years to understand, such as one with a lone chicken in a bar with cow patrons and a caption that reads, "Vera looked around the room. Not another chicken anywhere. And then it struck her - this was a hay bar." * This troper and several of his friends find ''CalvinAndHobbes'' massively funnier now that they're older and wiser and thus understand much more of Bill Watterson's satire. This troper in particular has been known to cry ''and'' laugh at the same time while reading the books. ** Somewhat lampshaded when Calvin quotes Paul Gaugin, haughtily responds to the quote, waits a BeatPanel, then asks "Who the heck is Paul Gaugin?" * There's a ''FoxTrot'' comic in which Peter has a DreamSequence with a pair of swimsuit models fighting over him. Then the models decide their suits are too pinchy and they should just take them off, at which point Peter is woken up by his alarm. This Troper first read that comic as an (apparently very naive) preteen, only realizing years later what the joke was. ** Several arcs became way, ''way'' funnier after I read ''TheLordOfTheRings''. [[/folder]] [[folder:Radio]] * My parents have been fans of ''ImSorryIHaventAClue'' since before my brother and I were born. Before our LateToThePunchline moment, they had to explain away about half of the jokes with, "Maybe someone pulled a funny face" -- that show was the ''embodiment'' of GettingCrapPastTheRadar. * This troper heard "[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaving_Cream_(song) Shaving Cream]]" once on the radio as a kid and somehow remembered enough to sing several verses of it by heart for years. And it took years for him to realize the SubvertedRhymeEveryOccasion aspect of the song's chorus... he figured it was just about how funny it was that people kept running into shaving cream in odd places. --> "I have a sad story to tell you / It may hurt your feelings a bit / Last night I walked into my bathroom / And stepped in a big pile of shaving cream / Be nice and clean / Shave every day and you'll always look keen." [[/folder]] [[folder:TabletopGames]] * Since the ''{{Munchkin}}'' card list is basically a HurricaneOfPuns, there's bound to be ones you don't get until later. For example: failing to recognise the significance of "Fire Arms", not connecting the [=DnD=] creature known as the Rust Monster to the ''Munchkin''

Lust Monster, and so forth. * In a game of Scion headed by a friend of mine--for those who don't know, all characters in Scion are the sons/daughters of a god or goddess--we were mingling amongst ourselves and making small talk before we actually got our mission. Someone asked my character, a scion of Hermes, about his father. "Well, he's something of a postal worker, I suppose." "A government official, then?" Seeing the opportunity, I responded quickly "You could even say he's a government official director, yes." Thirty minutes later, one of them starts laughing out of the blue, and I say "You finally figured out what it stood for, huh?" Everyone at the table realized what I'd said at that point. There was much rejoicing. [[/folder]] [[folder:Theater]] * Anything by {{Shakespeare}} is likely going to evoke this. When you read ''{{Romeo and Juliet}}'' for the first time in Junior High, it probably seems densely written and pointless, unless you're a fan of random death. Come back when you've got enough literature experience to figure out what the hell's going on, and suddenly The Bard's work is beautifully written ''and'' wildly funny. ** Works the other way around, too, considering the sheer number of literature, movies and series that crib off Shakespeare plays, whether it's plots, names, quotes or [[ShoutOut homages]]. Reading them for the first time in college, [[ThisTroper This (French) Troper]] had a slew of "so '''''that's''''' what ''that'' was about" moments. ** Also, {{Shakespeare}} was a ''master'' at GettingCrapPastTheRadar. This Troper's favorite is the stuff Hamlet is saying when he's pretending to be mad. It was years before he realized that the stuff he says to Ophelia is downright ''raunchy''. ** This troper was actually amazed when freshman English class started reading Romeo and Juliet. "They're not old enough for the content," she thought to herself. "Freshmen are too immature to handle all these dirty puns." Then she realized that most of her class didn't get the puns at all, because they weren't quite as familiar with Elizabethan English as she was. *** Really this Troper's class were laughing but then we're just dirty minded. ** Really, Shakespeare requires things to be spoken and performed to be understood properly by a modern audience. Even then, you're probably best off seeing it a couple of times, just to make sure you're picking up all the little details. * This troper has been a ''[[SeventeenSeventySix 1776]]'' fan since sixth grade... and ''just recently'' realized what exactly John Adams was referring to when he mentioned "his favorite lover's pillow" to his wife. ** Or when Jefferson is complaining about how he never gets to see his wife. That one actually got me to turn off the movie to go into the kitchen and ask my parents what they were ''thinking'' letting me watch it at so young an age. -->'''Jefferson:''' But I burn Mr. A. -->'''Adams:''' So do I, Mr. J.

* An improv troupe this troper watched a while ago did a game in which two of the three actors could only say lines [[AudienceParticipation given to them by the audience.]] One audience suggestion was "I like pie." For some reason -- I don't even remember the rest of the skit -this came up: -->"What are you, a mathematician?!" -->* shrug* [[IncrediblyLamePun "I like pie!"]] ** ...Five years later, in the middle of school, I suddenly burst out laughing. ''Damn'' it. * This troper's parents absolutely love the show {{Cabaret}}. They used to play the soundtrack in the car all the time when this troper was growing up. Every couple of years or so, her mom would check in to see how many of the jokes she got in ''Wilkommen.' (For the record, the last joke she understood was the "cunning linguist" line. * This troper and her friend were listening to "You'll Find Your Happiness in Rio" from TheProducers while riding in the car one day. At the line, "The tropic breezes always blow there/and so, we hear, do the girls!", said friend, who is rather naive, said, "I don't get that line. Girls don't bl--...''ohhh''." [[/folder]] [[folder:Video Games]] * This troper had a rather... different kind of LateToThePunchline moment while playing KingdomHearts: 358/2 Days. I'd read about a little bit of NightmareFuel in the cutscene right before [[spoiler:Xion's]] boss fight, but I didn't get how [[spoiler: her turning into Sora]] could be considered creepy... until I reached it in my first playthrough. Let me just say that Sora was never, ''ever'' supposed to have a voice that high pitched. Also, this line: [[spoiler: [[CreepyMonotone "You're next, Roxas. I have to make you a part of me too."]] ]] [[NightmareFuel * shudder* ]] * This troper. SonicTheHedgehog. Miles Prower. Miles Per Hour. How did I not see that until I was 21? * This troper did not understand the purpose of the name of the [[{{Mother}} Raeb Yddet]] until looking at the SdrawkcabName page recently. * Facepalm* * After a couple of years of intermittent gameplay, [[Tropers/JET73L I]] was [[RageQuit taking a break from the main game to try]] [[{{Roguelike}} Adventure Mode]] on DwarfFortress, and [[WikiWalk surfing]] [[TheWikiRule the wiki]] [[AttentionDeficitOohShiny after finding the quick reference guide for the controls]]. The Adventure Mode starting guide said not to take on any quests too early, "as you will more than likely have tons of [[PotHole fun]]". As I expected, "fun" was a {{redirect}} to "losing" ([[WideOpenSandbox losing]]=[[VideoGameCrueltyPotential fun]], ergo fun=losing) . Partway down the page, "terminal hissy fit" linked to [[BattleRoyaleWithCheese Rage]] [[KillEmAll Spiral]]... And I laughed. It's not an adventure/sim game with running gags and jokes throughout the game and fandom. ''[[TheBarnum It is the joke]]''. [[ZenSurvivor I like Dwarf Fortress now]]. * ...and now I know why the rivet gun-wielding [[BioShock Big Daddies]] are called

[[http://www.umbc.edu/blogs/changingaging/oldrosie.jpg Rosie]]. * Some time ago, this troper saw this TouhouProject [[http://yuki.kitune.info/hikari/flash/kinoko.html#flashmain flash video]]. I just dismissed it as [[WidgetSeries typical Japanese weirdness]] and found more enjoyment in the [[BrotherChuck PC-98 flashes]] on that site. Just now right before I wrote this, I stumbled across the page for WeeblAndBob with its link to the flash video [[http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/badgers/ Badger Badger Badger (Mushroom Mushroom)]]. Now I know that Touhou can [[{{Crossover}} infect]] [[TheVirus anything]]. ''Anything.'' ** Ah, the wonders of rule (9)... * Oh I get it! He's called [[{{Hamtaro}} Spat]] because he makes couples fight and he [[VerbalTic spits when he talks]]! I played that game years ago and just got that now... * Ohh, the fan nickname for the water starter in Pokmon Black and White, no, not Derp, the other one, "Wotter". In some dialects it's a homonym for water! It makes so much sense now! Sorry, but where I speak, water sounds closer to Warter (without the r being sounded). [[/folder]] [[folder:{{Webcomics}}]] * This troper has only just realised the fairly obvious fact that, in [[http://www.arthurkingoftimeandspace.com/0542.htm this]] ''ArthurKingOfTimeAndSpace'', the discussion about "if an ancient warlord lived today instead of a thousand years ago" is discussing the central concept of the comic itself. * [[CyanideAndHappiness "Hey, Johnson! Working hard or hardly working? Hahaha!" "Actually, I'm looking at porn....so the first one."]] Me, years later: Hahahaha! Working ''hard''!!! I get it! [[/folder]] [[folder:Web Original]] * Ohhh, SFDebris aired his Opinionated Review of the ''Series/DoctorWho'' episode Father's Day...on Father's Day. [[/folder]] [[folder:Western Animation]] * This Troper did not get TheStinger in this episode of PhineasAndFerb [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAMR2EoLxp0]] for several weeks until * that* question came up on a rerun on Tosh.0 * This Troper is 28, and took nearly 15 years to get [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xmAC9Qu908 this]] ''{{Animanciacs}}'' joke. * This Troper got the joke in the climax of ''ToyStory 3'' [[spoiler:the clawwwwww]] right away, but it took 5 days for it to really hit me that it was [[spoiler:the punchline to a 15 year BrickJoke]] * [[LooneyTunes Hen Grenades]]. Hand Grenades. It took [[@/{{Medinoc}} me]] 15 years. To my defense, English is not my native language. * "[[TheLionKing Ed]] the hyena, hmm..., [[OddNameOut Ed]] the... ''[[PrecisionFStrike HOLY SHIT]]!'' ''[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ed_Gein Ed]]'' ''the''

''[[FridgeBrilliance hyena]]!''" ** I was kind of skeptical reading this at first, but given that the film slips in some [[PuttingOnTheReich other dark references]] about it's villains, it's possible. * Oh, okay, that scene in ''Futurama'' where the searchlights shoot down a pilot. [[TheFireflyEffect Of]] [[TooGoodToLast cour]][[ScrewedByTheNetwork se]]! * It took ''years'' for [[Tropers/SilverHeartStar me]] to figure out that ''ToyStory'' was a pun on 'toy store'. [[/folder]] [[folder:Other]] * [[Tropers/{{T-Jack}} This troper]] took an unbelievably long time (from elementary school to college) to figure out the joke about a skeleton that came into a bar and ordered a beer and a swob. He was literally just walking down the street when he finally figured out why he wanted that swob. * This troper, after working in retail, figured out the joke behind the old "Prince Albert In A Can" crank-call gag... [[spoiler: Prince Albert is a brand of pipe tobacco.]] * For the longest time, I thought that "Revenge is a dish BestServedCold" referred to something stupid like how ''cold-blooded'' (or, basically, badass) you were when you finally carried out your revenge. It didn't occur to me until the end of high school, if not sometime in college, that it was referring to waiting until you were ready to serve up the dish of revenge. Which was cold because you waited that long. Duh. * This troper, being Italian, doesn't know much about American pop culture. She often learns some random tidbit of information on the Internet, remembers an old joke she hadn't understood before, and starts laughing with no apparent reason. * For this troper, it was in a fanfic where a short character is offered a calcium pill by a third party. He then tells his lover that he doesn't need a calcium pill to grow big. It took him a year to understand the meaning of that line. * It took this troper ''years'' to get the "seven-eight/ate-nine" joke * True story: This troper was just reading the main page for this trope and thought that the joke about the chicken and the egg (which she got right away, for the record) was especially groan-worthy. When my roommate asked why I was groaning, I told her the joke. Her response: "That's disgusting." She then walked into the bathroom and closed the door. Two seconds later, I hear from the bathroom: "Oh, god, I just got it. That's DISGUSTING!" I laughed. ** Similar thing with me. I read this post. "Hm, I wonder what that joke is?" *Looks up* "Meh" ** Next day, in a room full of people, "NOOOOOO! COME OOOONNN! ** This troper looked up the joke just now and got it almost immediately, but I can guarantee when I tell it to my friends they're gonna have a hard time. * This troper is named after his grandfather, Thomas. Granddad had two brothers, Harry and Richard. 'Dick' is short for Richard. So we have Tom, Dick, and Harry.

* My father supposedly spent the first 25 years of his life with my grandfather routinely saying "Did you know that a cook who cooks carrots and peas in the same pot is unhygienic?" and then laughing, but never explaining the joke, before he finally realised the effect of shifting the emphasis of the spoken phrase had. * This troper had a classmate once whose graduation blurb contained the phrase "Tamara looks forward to many years in various institutions." The great thing about an audience of a thousand people is hearing the laughter grow as more and more people gradually get the joke. * There is a saying, "You'll be late for your own funeral." [[{{Tropers/AFP}} This Troper]] always took that just to mean that the person was always so habitually tardy, that he would simply manage to fail to make it to his own funeral on time somehow. It was maybe 20 years (so from the age of five or sixish to the mid-20s) before I finally realized... when you are dead, you are the ''late'' so-and-so. [[{{Pun}} Late]] for your own funeral. * It took [[Tropers/TeraChimera this troper]] several years to realize what "make love, not war" ''really'' meant. Especially since it originated in the 60's. * This troper only recently got the double meaning of the "If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?" joke. [[/folder]] [[folder:Meta]] * You know that thing on the second "t" in the Tvtropes logo? I'll just let that sink in for a second. * [[Tropers/SilverHeartStar I]] ''just'' got why SubvertedRhymeEveryOccasion is a [[ThisTropeNameReferencesItself selfreferencing title]]. [[/folder]] ---...Oh, I think I get it now; I'm supposed to head back to LateToThePunchline! Why didn't I see it before? ----

LaughingMad * What can I say? I am just a '''[[AxCrazy HAPPY CAMPER]]''' is all! * This basically is what happens whenever I am put in an incredibly uncomfortable situation. Often when my mom and sister start physically hurting one another, all I can do laugh, laugh hysterically. * This troper used to laugh hysterically when he was injured. I was once curb stomped onto the ground. I slowly got up laughing all the while. It was HighOctaneNaightmareFuel for everyone, even me, because I just Couldn't stop laughing. My laugh can basically be described as the Kira laugh, with a smoker's voice and whooping cough. So I sort of seemed like the bastard child of the Joker and Charles Manson. It doesn't help that no one really knows much about me, even my Nakama hasn't figured me out, to be honest, neither did I. * This troper is normally able to hold it together. Occasionally I'll have a bad, tear filled breakdown. There's been a few times where it's

been bad enough to instead leave me in a Joker-esque mood, laughing while thinking about the various ways I can violently murder people (mostly my family). I've also got a bit of this permanently, as when I'm in a bad mood I'll, while not laughing out loud, basically be like that on the inside. * This troper's cycle of anger goes like this: ** Unhappy ** Pissed ** Shouting and screaming ** Quiet, soft laughter ** Insane Joker-type laughter. * This is basically the cycle of every fight this troper and her sister have ever had, with the shouting and screaming often escalating into actual physical violence. The fight will end after one of us makes a semi-witty observation and winding up on the floor laughing our asses off. ** No, no. That's not laughing mad. Laughing mad is when after you kill your sister you have a [[{{HeroicBSOD}} Blue Screen of Death]] moment, and you can only laugh, because that's the only thing you can do to remain sane. Except, by that point... *** Well then what the hell is it? It's not this definition, certainly not EvilLaugh either. I looked on one of the other ones, and it said something about Bipolar, but that's all I reckon. It's likely something, one way or another. *raises eyebrow and cradles chin* * This troper was having a very rough time...she needed money to find a new home, as her roommates were forcing her out of her current one, and would be out in the streets unless she was in a new house by two weeks. After spending the entire week bottling everything in, feeling miserable because no one would let her move in with them without rent money up front, the troper was called to the financial counselor. Turned out, that very day, she had received her scholarship money, used for rent. She spent the next two minutes staring blankly ahead, laughing her head off. * Once this Troper was living a real Hell: I was bullied, depressed, didn't have a single friend and constantly arguing with my mother. Then one day, after having one massive fight again and being harassed in a hallway we got out math tests back and I had failed it. I waited until the lesson passed and then proceeded to laugh maniacally and stare blankly, because the test had been the last straw that broke the camel's back. But fortunately, IGotBetter. / When I get extremely pissed off or start panicking it's usually accomppanied with silent, anxious laughter that isn't loud or theathrical, but it's ''damn creepy''. ** Dear god, this sounds like something from my life as it had been. You have my simpathies :( * This troper apparently does this during her memory-lapsedBerserkerRage-BewareTheNiceOnes moments. Which means, that when I start cackling like the Joker, it means that someone's about to get seriously injured... AND I WON'T REMEMBER DOING IT. (My friends have witnessed this once and tell me it's the single most unnerving thing they've ever seen.) * This troper doesn't remember the events that led up to it, but once

she snapped and started laughing herself silly and looking back on it, is absolutely terrified of herself in that state. * This troper has never had an extremely severe case of this, but she has been known to emit some damn scary psychotic cackles when she just can't take severe frustration from a problem anymore. * This troper has been gaining touches of this more over time. I'm pretty sure RealLife causes SanitySlippage. * [[{{Fishsicles}} This Troper]] just had one of his first attacks of this. He was snickering slightly after playing KaizoMarioWorld's first level (and dying, again and again, on that first trap), but did not burst into laughter until this CompleteMonster math problem (below). After spending an hour or so on Part B, attempting to cancel out the monstrosity known as the unit normal vector... he just spotted a sine squared-cosine squared point in one really messy radical. After everything canceled out to N(t)=(-cos(&#969;t),-sin(&#969;t),0)... {{Laughing Mad}}ness ensued. -->Let a, b, and &#969; be positive constants. Let g(t)=(a cos(&#969;t),a sin(&#969;t,bt). --->a) Find explicitly the arc length parameterization h(s) of the curve. --->b) Find the unit tangent vector and principle normal vectors at an arbitrary point h(s). --->c) Find the curvature &#954;(s). ** The story continues: Another bout of madness when Part C comes out to (a&#969;^2)/(a^2&#969;^2+b^2). * This troper has issues dealing with stress, and has a tendency to just freakout out of seemingly nowhere. The form of the freakout is generally a crapshoot between curling up in a corner shivering and muttering, or hysterical laughter that can't decide if it wants to be giggles or shouts and shifts between them randomly. * This Troper too. I once got really angry at a group of children. After about a few moments of shouting at them into silence and scolding them, still shouting angrily all the time, this troper had a sudden "revelation" of how ridiculous the entire situation was, and began softly giggling. Soon, the giggles became louder, and this troper was reduced into laughing hysterically while everyone watched with wide eyes. Needless to say, it frightened even the naughtiest children into quiet, meek puppets. * This might be kind of a conversation of ADarkerMe in this troper's case. Sometimes, he has this evil side that will come out spontaneously and let out a really big EvilLaugh, usually while doing something to someone that's been annoying him for far too long. Normally used while playing video games. * This troper does this when she loses, and let me tell you, my laugh sounds like the Joker on crack while burning down a puppy orphanage and stabbing a nun. Needless to say, my laugh is so Nightmare Fuel, that I scare myself sometimes. * [[JET73L This troper]] uses a dark "heh, heh heh" on occasion when annoyed, in a sort of "I can't ''believe'' what fools these morons be" way to make the situation seem more meaningless, but once when the troper's mother was being [[InsaneTrollLogic particularly]] [[ObfuscatingStupidity obtuse]], the troper was seconds away from

self-mutilation, destruction of a dresser, or [[BrokeYourArmPunchingOutCthulhu both]], and instead ended up dropping to the floor while laughing madly (and increasingly) and weeping, both at the futility of... well, everything, but [[PoorCommunicationKills certain]] [[CompletelyMissingThePoint aspects]] of that situation in particular. Unpleasant, but the resulting high (from either endorphins or oxygen deprivation) made it possible to finish the conversation. Eventually. * This has become at least a part of each of This Troper's emotional expressions, from amusement to rejection. Why, I'm not entirely sure. * A fairly minor example, compared to the ones on this page. I was playing Harvest Moon: FOMT with the watering can fully upgraded. However, I didn't realize the [=AoE=] you can do with it, so I spent year upon year (I upgraded the can fairly early) watering all my crops seperately until, by chance, I found out about the [=AoE=]. Though the laugh wasn't as insane as really pissed off, it still sounded quite insane. * [[RainehDaze This troper]] reacts in this manner to just about EVERYTHING, whether positive or negative. Since it runs the full range of [[EvilLaugh evil laughs]], it scares people. Lots. Not that it's any different from my NORMAL laugh... * ThisTroper reacted like this after he lost his job, girlfriend, almost his apartment due late bills and was drown in a sea of depression all in the same week. Well ThisTroper remained "calm" so far just to out of nowhere burst laughing like psychotic lunatic in the middle of a crowded street and, almost needless to say, after that ThisTroper was almost put in a psychiatric ward by his friends. ThisTroper almost never stresses out, but when it happens it's either LaughingMad or something like UnstoppableRage. Either way none come with any sign of warn, it simply bursts out of ThisTroper. * This Troper has done this on several (BSOD-type) occasions. I assure you, it's quite unnerving... * This Troper was doing this (although it was more of a chuckle) when he imagined about [[AxCraxy stabbing and slashing]] [[{{Jerkass}} one of my REALLY annoying classmates.]] Then my friend offered me a [[IGotBetter slice of cheesecake.]] * When this troper gets angry, it usually starts out with screaming at the tormentor, then he starts chasing them, with a mix of batshitinsane cackling, swearing a blue streak, snarling like some crazy beast, and just plain screaming. Oh, and as he gets closer to the target, he gets louder and more insane. * This troper has moments where she just laughs while screaming and it's hard for her to even tell which she's doing more. It comes almost out of nowhere but generally happens during psychotic episodes and sometimes will be about something she hears, something that's "happening", or just snap out of nowhere it feels right and it happens. Often after or during this is some very odd behavior. On the other hand... she sometimes manages to just sleep 3 days straight after. * Several months ago, this troper had to take a test which she was pretty sure she'd fail due to not really understanding the material. When it was over, she felt a bit better knowing that it was over and

walked to her next class...to take another test that she'd completely forgotton about from worrying so much about the first one. She spent the first ten minutes of the period with her head down laughing as quietly as she could. * Oh dear deity yes, for this troper. Possessed of a double bass voice with a decent falsetto range, the signature hysterical laughter which sustains itself to ridiculous lengths through the pressures of nervousness and embarrassment - ranges wildly, and with much switching between shrieking peaks and barking lows. Coming from a quiet loner whose only commonly-known personality traits are a liking for violent and morbid humour and the inability to smile anything but a slasher smile... it is, I am told, quite an interesting spectacle, if a little... disconcerting. * So ''that'''s how it's called ! When I'm sad, I'll usually begin to cry... Until I feel every bit of pain disappear, and begin laughing at my own sadness. And when I say "laughing", I mean manical, uncontrollable laughter, much more high-pitched than my normal laugh. And every time I learn new details about [[HumansAreBastards humans being bastards]], such as torture, genocide, etc... I will only laugh madly and desperately. Although it might be a consequence of those JadeColoredGlasses I usually wear... * This troper cries or laughs if she get angry enough, she suppresses cry due to habit and ends up laughing in a... very scary manner. * My friends and I have a bit of a RunningGag about turning into TheJoker. Our college is pretty tough, and it really is kind of scary when someone starts laughing uncontrollably at [[HumorDissonance something that isn't all that funny]] because she's just really stressed out or [[TheInsomniac hasn't been getting enough sleep]]. * For some reason, whenever I'm fighting with someone, I get a horrible case of loud, cackling laughter. It doesn't help that it renders me a shaking mess and won't stop for at least a few minutes once it's started, even if I'm completely enraged and/or in immense pain. On the up side, most people are afraid to fight me now. * This Troper laughs madly when in physical pain, and is actually one step before crying for her. She once got it into her head that she wanted a tattoo that would take four hours to complete. She was alright for the first three, but by the time the artist got to coloring the damn thing, her mind apparently decided she was being tortured and tried to distance itself from the pain. First she started to cry and whine. Then she started to laugh insanely. Then she started rambling incoherently for the next hour or so... [[IGotBetter The tattoo was finished, though, and was worth every bit of pain]], though it did need a touch-up later which wasn't nearly as bad. * Variation: my cousins and I decided to play a prank by getting in an elevator and laughing non stop everytime someone got in there. At first, the person joined us asking what the joke was about, but when we kept on laughing they started to look as us like we were some kind of nutcases and their smiles cracked. That made us laugh even more. * This troper has some...mental strains, so to speak. For instance my only remembered dream in the past 5 years is of a man systematically pulling out his nervous system and unraveling like a knitted jumps. In graphic detail that only a biology student could inflict on

themselves. My laugh sounds like several dubs of Kira's combined. I checked. Believe me on this one, listening to examples of laughs is a pass time of mine. It's primarily the japanese, the french and...you know what let's just say I sound like Kira when I laugh. When I laugh in this manner then it means my usual catatonia has been surpassed and that my own reasoning has disolved. Last time it happened I lost the majority of my memories up to that point. * [[Tropers/SabresEdge This Troper]] recalls at least one 20-mile hike with a few Scouts, on which the trail snaked up and down lots of hills. As in, lots. It was nothing I couldn't handle on my own (being in decently good shape at the time), but the others were starting to complain, and after rounding a corner and seeing ''yet another'' 45degree incline upwards, I broke out into loud cheering accompanied by a psychotic grin. Apparently it was a slightly unnerving experience for those scouts... * For some bizarre reason, I tend to grin or start giggling when really nervous. I'm not really sure why, and I never seem to realize I'm doing it for quite a bit. It's a little weird. Everyone seems to assume it's this trope, especially when, say, somebody's just been hit in the face hard enough to start crying in gym class, while I'm actually worried about them. But.. I'm not really insane, just slightly weird, right? [[SanitySlippage Riight?!]] * My ''cats'' drive me to this constantly. One moment I'll be screaming at him to go away with that toy he keeps dropping on me and the next I'll be laughing and sobbing at the same time. ** Maybe he just wants to play? * Generally happens for this troper when she is up late into the night/morning, running on very little sleep and high amounts of caffeine. Actually laughed like a madman for thirty straight minutes for no reason whatsoever. * I (forget the This Troper nonsense, won't work here) am currently in the process of writing a novel in which the antagonist is completely nuts. I tend to use method writing, where I force myself into sympathy with the character's emotions. I was writing a scene from her [[StartOfDarkness Start of Darkness]] and began to feel dizzy. Anyway, I went back to my dorm, and began to read the character's lines to see if I'd gotten it right. The scene I'd just written ends with a slow laugh, starting with childish giggles and finishing with cackling screams. I started into that part, the dizziness returned, I started laughing...and came within a millimeter of completely losing my mind. Ever since that incident, I've felt like I'm on the edge of [[LaughingMad Laughing Mad.]] This has been going on for two months. ** I Got Better. * [[@/{{Tadaru}} This troper]] [[EpicFail fell into the water]] when trying to cross a rope-swing bridge and (temporarily) broke his camera and soaking everything on him. His response: being upset for a few minutes, and then laughing uncontrollably, then going back to upset. * Occaisionally this troper experiences this with very little stimuli. It isn't that I'm pushed over the edge (I hope), I just can't stop laughing sometimes. ** Ah, just remembered a throughbread example. I broke down one terroble November day and couldn't stop laughing for a distrubingly

long time. * This Tropette once had a paper due the very next day, and her printer just wouldn't print. She'd spent untold hours on this paper and gotten no sleep the night before trying to finish it. It began with her yelling and swearing, then ''screaming'' and swearing. She finally got the printer to work and print double-sided to boot... only to discover that it was printing the other side ''upside down''. Cue Mad Laughter, complete with anguished hair-clutching. * This Troper once had one of the worse days in her entire life in which she lost all sanity for roughly 10 minutes. An ex-boyfriend caused the intense grief, and we had been arguing for months and months on end even when we agreed to remain friends. I was depressed for nearly an entire year because of him. Finally, I sent him a long anger-filled e-mail to dismiss him from my life, in which I proceeded to point out every stupid and hurtful thing he's ever said to me and every single way I could find that he's ever wronged me. At first, I thought I felt nothing, because I was just... so drained from all the effort. Afterwards, however, I went absolutely nuts whilst voicechatting with another friend. And I'm not exaggerating or joking: It was a hellfest of emotions. First, there was crying and screaming. Loud crying and screaming... it just started out of nowhere as I was silent. Then I started laughing. Really loudly and maniacally. For about five minutes. Alternating with the crying and screaming, at the same time. It was the only time in my entire life where it had happened, and the friend and I agreed that it was absolutely ''scary.'' * This happened to me only once in my life, but it could happen again, [[{{understatement}} I don't take any form of raised voices well]] if they're used in a threatening tone, so following an arguement involving my parents, I began to laugh and cry hysterically at the same time before just falling completely silent for about an hour, when my mom finally walked up to me, instead of saying anything or reassuring her, I just burst into the most twisted-sounding psychopathic laugh she'd ever heard...did I mention our family business is ''a haunted house?'' I can't remember it, but if it can scare someone who works with psychopathic laughter on a seasonal basis...yeah. * Ever since I was young, I had a way of laughing or smiling uncontrollably when I was confronted with bad news. I also laugh when I get panic attacks. My parents thought I was sick in the head when they saw me laughing after my cat died, but I was actually very sad. I also laugh when I see scary and disturbing things, but that's [[{{Nightmare Fetishist}} something else...]] * I've had a lot of various roller coaster twists in my life, and for the most part I've reacted just as you would expect for all them... but occasionally? My brain decides to give me a step back and I just start laughing. At it all. Everything I've gone through in my life runs through my mind, and it's just... funny. How all of it happened to me. And I laugh, and laugh, and laugh. No idea why, because a lot of it is horrible, but I can never help it. * This troper's cat brought a live mouse into the house tonight, and somehow it got into this troper's room. Her father set a trap for it in the closet, where the mouse had scurried off to. This troper wasn't

TOO affected by this, but then she heard a ''snap'' and some painful squeaking She's been giggling hysterically for nearly twenty minutes now. * This Troper has THE Joker laugh and bad anger problems to boot. When I get mad at someone I just start laughing hysterically until someone brings me back down to Earth. My friends now have a routine where one of them takes me aside and asks me if I need to go back to Arkham. On a completely different note, I sprained my ankle WALKING on the carpet and it hurt so bad I just laughed, and every time I stepped on it, I laughed. ---I'm sorry, Troper, but your entire family died in a fire just after your parents cut you out of their will. * [[LaughingMad AHAHAHAHAHAHA!]] ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LauncherOfAThousandShips You all probably have that ''one'' character that, for [[RuleThirtyFour some unexplained reason]], you will 'ship [[LauncherOfAThousandShips with anyone]], even if you have to cross universes to do so. Describe them here. ---* [[Tropers/TromboneChild This troper]] 'ships [[Series/{{Heroes}} Claude Rains]] with just about everyone, inside ''and'' [[CrossoverShip outside]] of his own fandom. He was only in about five episodes, but he fascinates me! * This troper will ship Ryuk from Death Note with just about anyone else. OK, on second thought, only... six or seven other characters. Yeah, that sounds about right. This is excluding crossovers, 'cause those [[HypocriticalHumor make no sense at all.]] ** Oh, and more recently, [[WolfsRain Lord Darcia.]] Um, yeah... * [[Tropers/{{Leradny}} This troper]] favors Squall Leonhart, especially in Kingdom Hearts where he's older ''and'' in a multicrossover. * It wasn't intentional, but This Troper (yes, ''[[Tropers/{{TMOH}} that]]'' one) can officially read FanFic pairing [[{{Discworld}} Carcer]] with anyone, just because he's in it. Such is the fate of the SingleTargetSexuality FanGirl. * This troper, for some doubly inexplicably reason because I haven't actually played her original game (yet), ships [[FinalFantasyVII Aerith Gainsborough]] with just about everyone ''but'' Cloud. Mostly I like [[OfficialCouple her and Zack]], but the list of other pairings involving her that I've found cute include: [[KingdomHearts Aerith/Leon]], [[KingdomHearts Aerith]]/[[AnsemRetort Axel]] (just the idea of the pairing since it's PlayedForLaughs), [[LesYay Aerith/Tifa]], [[FoeYay Aerith/Kadaj]], and if anyone has any other ideas, I'd probably like it. I don't know why other characters I love, such as Tifa, don't get the same treatment. * [[StarTrekTheOriginalSeries Kirk]]. Just Kirk.

* [[Tropers/{{ryttu3k}} This troper]] ships Sheik (yes, really) from [[TheLegendOfZelda Legend of Zelda]] with Link, Zelda, Dark Link, Dark Sheik (what? If Link can do it...), Twilight Princess Link, Midna, the Hero's Shade (who probably is Link from Ocarina of Time, let's face it), girl!Brawl!Sheik, occasionally Malon, Ianto Jones from [[{{Torchwood}} Torchwood]], and probably a few others. ** And let's add Byrne from Spirit Tracks. It's a mask thing. ** Update! Add in the Medicine Seller from {{Mononoke}}. * [[Tropers/SaraJaye This troper]] ships Jun from ''{{Gatchaman}}'' with Ken, Joe ''and'' Ryu with the occasional side of Jun/Katse crack. I also have quite a few from the ''FireEmblem'' series, most notably Lyn and Serra from Rekka. * Tropers/AcrossTheStars will read fic involving the reboot!Captain Pike and anyone else in the fandom. * [[Tropers/{{MiraShio}} This troper]] was ''the'' LittleBlackDress during grade school. * This troper will ship [[{{Naruto}} Sasuke Uchiha]] with anyone, in any fandom. [[{{TengenToppaGurrenLagann}} Leeron]]? Done. [[{{SilentHill}} Pyramid Head]]? Done. [[{{Naruto}} Rock Lee]]? OTP, along with Minato Namikaze, Kiba and Juugo. As for het pairings, [[{{FatalFrame}} Sae]], [[{{FirstEncounterAssaultRecon}} Alma]], [[{{BlackLagoon}} the Vampire Twins]], and Karin or Temari. * [[{{TheNightmareBeforeChristmas}} Jack Skellington]] is this troper's LittleBlackDress. [[{{OfficialCouple}} Sally]]? Yep. [[{{CorpseBride}} Emily]]? Done. [[{{HoYay}} Victor]]? Affirmative. [[{{CrossoverShip}} Ariel]]? Yeah baby! SpongeBob [[{{CrackPairing}} SquarePants]]? [[{{EvilLaugh}} Mwhahahahahahahaha]]! [[{{TheFourthWallWillNotProtectYou}} Now Jack wants to kill me]]. ** Also, this troper's sister recently make Jack into a MemeticMolester. After the movie, Jack was charged with one count of kidnapping . . . [[{{RapeAsComedy}} and 53 counts of rape]]. Let's see . . . Jack, [[{{LoveInterest}} Sally]], [[{{EvillyAffable}} Oogie Boogie]], and [[{{EnfantTerrible}} Lock, Shock, and Barrel]] all gangraped SantaClaus ([[{{NoJustNo}} The]] [[{{Squick}} mental]] [[{{BrainBleach}} picture]]!) And Jack raped HarryPotter, SpongeBob, [[{{KingdomHearts}} Sora]], [[{{CorpseBride}} Victor]] . . . oh, and Jack was raped himself by [[{{HarryPotter}} Lord Voldemort]]. Yeeeeeeaaaaaaaah, [[{{Understatement}} we're a bit morbid-minded]]. * Tropers/{{Blackmoon}} is the [[TVTropesForum local]] Little Black Dress. Not that he minds. * This Tropette's LittleBlackDress is [[TeamFortress2 Medic]]. [[ColdSniper Sniper?]] Done. [[{{Jerkass}} Scout?]] Affirmative. [[TuxedoandMartini Spy?]] Heck yes! [[DrillSergeantNasty Soldier?]] Have you ''never'' read Blast Assit? [[HuskyRusskie Heavy?]] [[{{OTP}} Yes, please!]] ** It's [[TheFaceless Pyro]] for this troper, mainly because [[AmbiguousGender (s)he]] can play any role required. * [[Tropers/SerenitySquid This troper]] ships [[{{Hellsing}} Alucard]] and [[StarTrekTheOriginalSeries Captain Kirk]] with [[CargoShip everything]] and [[CrackPairing every]][[CrossoverShip one]]. [[CrazyAwesome Including each other]]. * For [[Tropers/{{ZetsUboa}} this troper]], [[{{Hellsing}} Rip van

Winkle]]. Name any character in that series, and chances are that I ship her with them. Schrodinger, Hans, Zorin, Integra, Seras, Alucard, Jan, Luke, Alhambra, Major, Anderson, Heinkel, Walter, Yumie, Doktor...you get the point. * This is the modus operandi for this Troper when she starts looking at ships in a fandom. Usually, a few preferred ships will be promoted to Flagships, but there will never be one absolute OTP. * [[Tropers/{{Krieg}} This troper]] recently realized he holds this sort of position within his {{Nakama}}, though it seems to have settled into something akin to the TenchiSolution. * This Troper has seen [[{{Peanuts}} Schroeder]] paired up with Lucy, Frieda, Sally, Charlie Brown and Linus at various points in her life. She and her friend joked about how he was a [[LauncherOfAThousandShips Little Black Dress]] and made joke pairings that paired him up with: Peppermint Patty, Marcie, Snoopy, Woodstock, The Toy Piano and wait for it... Snoopy's doghouse. ** Toy Piano/Schroeder is canon. * This Troper once read an amazing [[AxisPowersHetalia Prussia]]/ [[CodeGeass Leoloulch]] fic. And that sent me down the path of Prussia Shipping. Pity I can't find the fic anywhere anymore... :C * [[{{Tropers/Lurkerbunny}} This troper's]] ship-launcher is (you guessed it) RobinWilliams. No, not just [[MorkAndMindy Mork]], not just [[{{Disney/Aladdin}} Genie]], Robin. [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} My strange mind]] has shipped him with nearly everyone (real or fictional)[[hottip:* :except for [[IncestIsRelative family members]], of course. I may be a Cloudcuckoolander but I'm no sicko!]]. Pam Dawber? Best [[ActorShipping actor ship]] ever! Billy Crystal? Hey, they've been {{Ho Yay}}-ing it up since TheEighties! AndyKaufman? For the lulz. [[ScrewYourself Mork?]] Well, they did meet in an episode! [[TinyToonAdventures Babs Bunny?]] Hey, there was that episode with [[NoCelebritiesWereHarmed "Robin Killems"]]. [[FamilyGuy Meg Griffin]]? They both currently share ButtMonkey status, they could bond over that! [[CargoShip His bicycles? Hey, he's got a whole harem of them!]] [[hottip:** :And if anyone is currently looking up men in white coats in the phone book so they can take me away, please don't. I don't take this seriously, I only do it for fun! Oh, and Robin, if you are reading this, that goes for you too.]] * [[DracoInLeatherPants Draco]] [[HarryPotter Malfoy]]. But it has to be [[HoYay slash]]. * [[BuffyTheVampireSlayer Faith]]. I don't even like her all that much, but the porn is always hot. * I ship [[AxisPowersHetalia Hungary]] and [[FullmetalAlchemist Winry]] (to a lesser extent) with EVERYONE. Heck, I pair them with ''each other''. * I ship [[KidIcarus Pit]] with anyone. The fact that it's because of LivejournalRoleplay may help. * ...I'm sorry, [[{{Disgaea2}} Adell]].I really am.But I still love you with [[HighlyVisibleNinja Yukimaru, Fubuki]],[[UnknownRival Axel]],[[LittleMissBadass Etna]],[[LoveFreak Flonne]],[[ChewToy Almaz]](thanks to an AU fanfic),and maybe [[{{Jerkass}} Laharl]].You [[{{Canon}} already]] [[{{Fanboy}} love]] [[MoeMoe Pleinair]].[[CrossoverShip Aaa]][[{{OTP}} and]] [[HunterXHunter

Kurapika]].And I hate [[{{Tsundere}} Roza]][[OfficialCouple lin]].I'm sorry. ** HOW COULD I FORGET [[ButtMonkey ASAGI]]?!I am ashamed of myself. * Though I don't exactly ship him, reading through quite a few PowerRangers fanfiction has given me the fanon belief that Adam Park is bisexual and that at one time he was (or still is) involved with Rocky, with Aisha possibly tossed in there for the ride as well. I never realized how ''shippable'' he was before. He can go along fine with ''anybody''. Strangely enough, I never pin anybody as gay unless it's explicitly stated to be so. Huh. Must be his shy, sweet persona. * ....Saphira of DragonFable. Hidan of Naruto Shippuden. No, I don't know why. Damn hot though! * [[KingdomHearts Namine]]. Probably because pretty much any Namine pairing has some degree of plausibility. (My favorite, however, is Axel/Namine.) * This YuriFangirl ships [[OnePiece Nami]] with any girl, and is currently writing a [[FinalFantasyXIII Light]]X Nami fic. Sure, it's an epic plot, but half the motivation comes from the squee produced by this pairing. * [[{{Tropers/Shinykins}} This troper]] ships [[{{Vocaloid}} Meiko and Gumi]] with pretty much every other Vocaloid, if she can find good reason, and occasionally even if she can't. * I ship Kurt with any boy in the {{Glee}} fandom. * [[ActionGirl Tasha Yar]], had she not left ''StarTrekTheNextGeneration'' [[WeHardlyKnewYe so soon]], would've been a great example of this trope. Besides [[RoboShip Tasha/Data]], we might've had Tasha/Worf, Tasha/Geordi, Tasha/Riker, [[MayDecemberRomance Tasha/Picard]] and [[LesYay Tasha/Troi]]. * [[Tropers/SizeXS This troper]] ships [[HarryPotter Snape]] with anybody who she even ''remotely'' likes, whether in-universe or from other universes. Including herself. Which is weird because she's usually very anti-yaoi. * [[Tropers/BardicFire This Tropers]] launcher is [[AxisPowersHetalia France]] (at least with that series) which funnily enough is kinda canon. at least in the sense the France has flirted with just about everyone in the series XD. * Despite [[AvatarTheLastAirbender Maiko]] being my OTP, I enthusiastically ship Zuko with four other people: [[GirlOfTheWeek Jin]], [[{{Bromance}} Sokka]], [[FoeYay Jet]] (art only, I don't like Jetko fics), and [[CrackPairing Lt. Jee.]] No other Avatar gets shipped so much by me. * [[XMenEvolution Kitty Pryde]], at least with all the other male students, and sometimes with Rogue or Jubilee. Also, for obvious reasons, Jamie "Multiple Kid" Madrox gets this treatment with the females, if only because it's just so easy to [[JustifiedTrope justify]]. * Sometimes I feel like this IRL. ---Go ahead and imagine yourself hooking up with the LauncherOfAThousandShips. Someone's imagined them hooking up with ''everyone'' else. ----

<<|TroperTales|>>

LawOfAlienNames * My rule, take first three letters of CompleteMonster; Fre- then end name of a protagonist. frellin. next, japanese weird word for family (if there is) name; Frellin Reezaa. PWNKILL! * [[Tropers/ManCalledTrue This troper]] has in his roleplay a race of [[Main/TheWatcher observer aliens]] who follow a rule of "three twoletter words, none that can be pronounced" - one example being Cl Jt Zw. However, he also subverted it with his race of spider-like aliens - their names are heavy on harsh letters, examples being Zakutuox and Harukeyk (they have fangs that are used in their language), but they're an incredibly peaceful race. And one of the chief ones is Panna. * This troper's alien antagonists in the books he's writing use a three syllable system, separated by apostrophes. One of the characters is Grun'Brum'mith, Grun being the given name, Brum being a rank (comperable to General), and mith being a family name. This is strictly limited to those in the military though. The ruler is named [=SarSar=] (Which is not the ruler's given name. "Sar" is their word for "strong", so it translates "Strong beyond Strong". Stalin was a big inspiration for that character.). There is a bit of a subversion with that one too, but that is my secret for now. * Generally when [[Tropers/{{Nomic}} this troper]] comes up with alien names, he starts with a word or phrase that sounds somwhat alien, and the modifies untill is sounds like an alien name. For aliens that are more than just one-shot background characters he makes some rules for the names to follow. For example one of the characters in a story he's writing is from an alien race whose names follow the same pattern as western names (ie. birthname, surname) and they have a two-part first name and a last name that ends in a double consonant (for example the character's name is Sha-rell D'arann), while another alien race has names with no wovels at all, like Ptrr (it's easier to pronounce with a beak-like articulator). *** I'd say many languages don't have "wovels." ** The above troper also has a system for demon names for his planned webcomic (demons in his other stories tend to use the same system too, or the tried and tested "bang head on keyboard and see what you get" method). In this case all names mean something in the demonic language (the vocabulary of which this troper has created based on ''{{Warhammer}}'' and ''{{Warcraft}}'' demon names and phrases). Last names are reserved for demon lords and their relatives and are similar to titles of noblemen (for example "il Ered'nash" which means "of (the) Burning Blade", which is the sign of this particular group of demons). The first name is usually a word or phrase that is usually intended to sound threathening, for example Zarangora, which translates into "Soul Tormentress" (the a in the end signifies feminine name, male version would be Zarangor). Demon lords usually adopt a new first name that is connected to their last name, for example Maladath il Ered'nash, (Guardian of the Burning Blade) or Romankhis il U'ramas (Lord of the Skull Citadel). Demons may also gain

additional names, usually based on a particular deed or attribute. This can be a great honor (if the name is for example based on the demon's battle proveness or fearsome appearance) or an embarassment (if the name is an insult). * [[Tropers/WoolieWool This Troper]] gave each of the different species in his universe a different character to their dominant language. The Akisans get the typical soft names like "Talililo" or "Aegavorn". The Gri Sla all have names composed of one or more monosyllables (the Gri Sla vocal tract is incapable of pronouncing syllables without a pause between each one. Thus many humans in this universe say that Gri Sla sound like barking dogs). The Gralach love gutturals and have some ''really'' weird ones (like the consonant cluster "HH" for an inhaling guttural that sounds like a human snoring. Try pronouncing "Ghorn Hhalvach" five times fast). The Zraluk have vaguely Germanic sounding names. The Kizomir use the letters I and Z a lot and have extremely high-pitched, shrill voices. The names don't necessarily reflect traditional stereotypes--Akisans are galactic [[TheChessmaster Chessmasters]] who use other races to their advantage, while the Kizomir were the only democracy in the galaxy (until the [[HumansAreBastards United Terran Republic]] killed most of them). Also, these are the ''dominant'' languages of each race. They all have other languages (like the Akisan Dulk-sha language, which cannot be replicated by a human without spitting everywhere). * This troper so far has created three aliens from Saturn who avert this trope. Hachiira, Prometheus, and Pandora. The former having a Japanese sounding name, the latter named after two moons of Saturn. * This troper just finds a weird, foreign-ish name and switches up the letters. Yeah. * This troper's first language is french but she prefers englishsoundind names. She uses french words, change some letters (while avoiding using the annoying [[XtremeKoolLetterz Xtreme Kool Letterz]]), and then pronounce them in an english-sounding way. Or take english words and makes them look like french names. My favorite one so far probably is Azhele. Doesn't sound exotic enough? Hey, it's just a translation anyway. It's not like most of my alien species could communicate the same way as humans without proper translators. And I don't get annoyed with overly complicated, weird-sounding names... * Inverted with this troper ({{@/Unhari}}) - he tries to give his characters diverse, interesting names: Zar'k'ral, Tyraxidor, Adrianna, Vice, Vulcan, Perseus, Moreweanna, Sophia, Sierra, Railea, and Astor. ---Back to Main/LawOfAlienNames, Gamar. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LawOfInverseFertility * Adopted! * Subverted by MegaLan's parents. The father had a vasectomy after

This Troper's birth, making children impossible. They wanted child, they got a dog instead. The dogs are treated more like babies than babies are, and they're all older than This Troper's stepmother in dog years. * This Troper's aunt conceived but lost the baby a few years ago. The belief was that she would never be able to be pregnant again. So they set up the house for foster care, spoke with child services, were all ready to adopt. Given it's on this page, three guesses what happened next. * Averted by an extra check to make sure the vasectomy worked. The doctor-recommended check had turned out happily fertility-free, but my natural alignment of cautiously pessimistic made me get another check a while later. The message left by the doctor said it would've been a good weekend to go to Vegas, with those kinds of odds. * This troper's parents wanted a baby really badly, but had trouble because her mom was in her late 30's at the time. Just when they were about to give up, this troper was conceived. * This troper knows a couple who have had miscarriage after miscarriage. Poor girl... * This troper knows such a couple as well, but after about 14 years they finally had a baby girl. Thank God... * You could be describing my parents. They tried for over a decade to have a baby, suffering a stillbirth and a miscarriage at the very least and eventually resorting to IVF, which worked on their second attempt. This was in the late 80's only a few years after the first one, Louise Brown, was born. My parents tried once more when I was two and failed again; therefore I remain their only child. ** Are you me? * [[DesertDragon This editor]] had a friend of a friend who got his girlfriend pregnant despite using both a condom and spermicidal lube. After all that, the girl ended up keeping the baby. ** Just wondering did the baby look like him? *** Original Poster: That's one question I regret not asking, since it didn't occur to me until a week later. * This trope played itself out in a weird way in my family. I was born about a year and a half after my parents got maried. Dad was still in Grad-school and he and mom were working two jobs to make ends meet. After the IT boom, my parents tried again for several years to have another kid, including various fertility treatments. After nothing worked, they gave up, only to have my little brother show up a year later. * [[{{Valbinooo}} My]] boyfriend is the result of this. His dad used a condom and his mom was on birth control, and I guess some sperm was bound and determined to get him into existence. And man oh man am I glad of that <3 ** My boyfriend was a Houdini too! I love him to death! * BTIsaac is living proof that this trope is TruthInTelevision. As things stand, his parents desperately wanted a child, for over ten years, and nothing happened. He wasn't born until after they've accepted that they may grow old without having any kids. Then in two years, came his sister. * {{Peteman}}'s aunt tried for years to conceive, but ended up

adopting. Soon afterward, she conceived. * Describes both this troper's grandparents (who ended up adopting her mother) '''and''' this troper's parents (who had an "oopsie" baby). * When I was in my early teens, my parents tried over and over to get my mom pregnant again (they wanted more children). Eventually the doctors told her that due to complications from her last pregnancy, she was effectively infertile. So they eventually ended up adopting a two-year-old. Literally two months '''''to the day''''' after the adoption our family found out that...whoops! Turns out ''effectively'' infertile doesn't mean ''100%'' infertile. * This troper's parents were married for ''ten years'' without having a live baby--they had an awful time getting pregnant, and suffered at least two miscarriages. Eventually they decided they couldn't get pregnant, and started looking into adoption. Suddenly, with both parents in their mid-thirties and with the horrible odds described above, this troper apparently decided she ''really'' wanted to be born. Ironically, she required thirty-six hours and a C-section to get out at the end of the pregnancy. ---Let's go back to LawOfInverseFertility, and try again. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LeagueOfLegends * This troper wishes he could draw art, so he could draw a picture of Teemo running through a field of shrooms going "AAAAIIEEE!!!" while Karma, Garen, and Blitzcrank follow yelling "COME BACK HERE YOU LITTLE RAT!!" It was a CrowningMomentOfAwesome for me because I had quite literally carried the team and had no deaths...heck I took out a ''third'' of Heimerdinger's health with one shroom. And yes, creating a mushroom maze is a tactic I love to use with Teemo, same with Machine Gun Teemo. * Playing as Karthus, enemy team is rushing straight down mid. I turn on my AOE, flash into them, drop bombs, score a quad kill by myself. I was pretty satisfied. * Once as Sona, me and a Garen were running down the bottom lane from the entire enemy team, the rest of my team right next to us in jungle. One well placed Crescendo and the enemy team was massacred. ** I did something like that once. I'm Sona, and Nocturne decides to backdoor them and take out one of the inhibitors. Naturally I go and heal him, so Nocturne single-handedly drops 4 buildings (Two turrets, two inhibitors) and then Master Yi comes over to kill us. Nocturne kills him but he has a Guardian Angel. I literally have Crescendo aimed ''right'' at him and the second he comes up, starts dancing and gets slaughtered by Nocturne. Good thing I was playing with a team who wasn't like "omg Sona you have more deaths than kills u nub", as Sona is a support champion who's not really supposed to be scoring kills. * Kennen once got killed. --> [All] '''[=LeBlanc=]''': Oh my god! [[SouthPark You killed Kennen! You bastard!]]

* The score is 14-45 in the favor of the enemies. One of our team has already left. But somehow, the team manages to push back for a victory through one of the greatest feats of backdooring I've seen. * This Troper once was in a losing battle using Trundle (a ''troll''), the other team started heading to Baron in an effort to end the game quickly. So our team headed there and a team fight broke out, noticing Baron was nearly dead, he ran at him and wailed away in hopes he would steal the Baron Buff. [[CrazyEnoughToWork It worked]], he died, but after that, the other team was in disarray and we clenched victory not soon after. It has NEVER tasted so sweet. This Troper's friend once said the only thing this scene was missing was MODOK's Theme * I will never forget this. We were losing a game, and the enemy team was MIA. Our Jax decides to head up and check Baron. Seeing them at Baron, he waits until he can get the last hit. Jax not only steals Baron, but also ''kills the entire enemy team on his own''. He barely dropped below half health. He was the best Jax ever. * This troper encountered a bit of StopHavingFunGuys / [[FunWithAcronyms DotAssholes]] as he calls them. Basically, here's how to play according to them: ** If a champion is listed as "easy", you're not allowed to play them. *** Especially don't play as Annie or Master Yi. *** [[FridgeLogic But they're marked as "medium"...]] *** Master Yi's medium now? When did this happen? And I'd assume maybe Annie isn't "allowed" because she's a SkillGateCharacter. ** You are not allowed to play Sona or Soraka. Support champion = Karma or GTFO ** If Nidalee EVER heals herself, then she is a selfish bitch who deserves to be reported. ** You are not allowed to play Teemo. ** You are not allowed to play Poppy because she's a noob char. ** No Evelynns allowed. ** If you jungle, you are not allowed to do so as Warwick or Nunu. You may also not Jungle as Shaco, either. ** How ''DARE'' you give Jax a Gunblade?! Noob! Report him. *** [[DidNotDoTheResearch Funny that, because an effective Tank Jax build calls for you to buy TWO gunblades.]] And the hybrid-assassin build that [[{{@/Anomaly188}} this troper]] mains calls for at least one gunblade for lifesteal, AD, and AP. *** I know, right? They sound like those people on ''GuildWars'' who claim you're not allowed to follow a build from a site. ** If Caitlyn ever has one point in Yordle Snap Trap at any time before late game she is a feeder. ** You must have THE EXACT skills period. ** You are not allowed to teleport back to heal, under NO circumstances should you ever do that.

LearntEnglishFromWatchingTelevision * This troper learnt a majority of his English grammar and vocabulary from the internet. * Inverted for this troper, since she has learned some Japanese

phrases and words from watching anime and reading manga. ** You are most definitely not alone there. ** Same here. * For this troper, it was TV and also video games and web forums. Unfortunately, there are a couple of side effects: a) He has difficulty following a real conversation. and b) He is more prone to cursing when talking/typing in English that he is when talking/typing Spanish. * Thanks to "The Price is Right", [[@/TropingHatman This Troper]]'s first English word was "microwave", said a bit after his first mother language word. * While visiting Israel, this troper asked an Israeli teen how it is that they were all fluent in English, while most Americans (and Brits) barely speak any other languages. This trope was the answer. * This is how I learned English. I stumbled upon the British CartoonNetwork at the age of 3 and didn't stop watching it until the local TV listings canceled it 6 years later. Then, I switched to a German cartoon channel, and learned that language too within a couple of years.

LeastRhymableWord * So, did no one else ever consider "porridge"?[[hottip: :Or failing that, [[TheInternetIsForPorn porn]][=age=]?]] ** Incorrige/able. Forage. In fact, really, "I forage for my daily porridge." And adding -age to a random word is cheating in and of itself, so bornage, cornage, {{gorn}}age... ** One doesn't forage for porridge, but one may forage for ''borage'' to put in one's porridge. (It's a herb.) * "''Self''". It only rhymes with "shelf" and-- wait for it-[[IncrediblyLamePun itself]]. ** What about "elf," like in ''{{The Night Before Christmas}}''? ** Piers Anthony also rhymed it with "pelf," a somewhat superannuated word meaning booty (in the pirate sense, not the Jennifer Lopez sense) ** [[LordOfTheRings Dwarrowdelf]]. * This troper's old university friend Lee Gorringe would probably have a lot to say about this trope. * This troper wrote a pantomime containing a song to the tune of the Major-General's song. One couplet: -->I'll rhyme with any word you like, from "month" to "praseodymium", -->Though Sullivan and Gilbert would have called me crazy, I'd stymie 'em! * Purple? * I asked my friend (who is a bit of a poet) whether there is anything that rhymes with orange. There is -- sporange... it's something to do with plants, I think. ** Door hinge. * "Precious". This one occurred to me this morning and has been driving me insane ever since. ** It is capricious to say that the only obvious rhyme is 'delicious'. In fact, that would be a malicious, pernicious, and atrocious calumny. ** ...Those only rhyme with "precious" in dialects that merge short

"e" and short "i", which is very few. *** "Ashes"? It sounds about right... * "Calumny". Oops. * I'll pay anyone who can find a word that rhymes fully with 'penguin'. Sanguine does not count. * Google is your friend here. [[spoiler: BTW, it rhymes with [[FinalFantasy Moogle.]] ]] ---Head back to {{Least Rhymable Word}}nge. <<|TroperTales|>>

LeaveHimToMe * [[@/DeltaOne This Troper]] had a [=DnD=] character who had, as part of his pirate code, the rule that saying, "Leave him, he's mine!" was code for "Everybody charge this guy!". Given that he was a pirate captain, with a crew full of obedient minions, this usually worked quite well. * I do this in SSB. If they other players don't, I MAKE THEM! * Whenever this troper and her brother play double-player on Halo, I always do this while he goes off and does the technical stuff. It's just more fun that way. * This troper's Larp character has this against the current mid-high point big bad, your standard evil overlord of a town that appeared from the badlands. Said big bad made the mistake of abducting my character's not-girlfriend and [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial Certainly not bodyguard crush]] for an enforced wedding, purely because she's the encumbant right hand of the system's fire god. My character has spent months running recon, weaponising the [[Firefly Reaver plague]] and aquiring equipment, learning the most refined poisons, learning how to use virtually every weapon in the system, trapmaking, anatomy, torture and even going as far as to kill, skin, cannibalise and wear the skin of of the big bad's head of security, including a mask made from his face. I also managed to essentially whore the character out to the new summer court queen (titania and Mab are both in a long slumber, their daughters have taken over) for magical equipment, have offered his immortal soul to the highest bidder in return for aid (I've already predetermined that it will be the Chaos gods) and even made a signet ring with the highest rank of raise dead (which requires a living sacrifice and raises beings such as Liches, nighindestructible body vampires and the like.). I've set plans for a terror campaign on the big bad's village and fully expect to end up dying. But I will rescue my friend and He.Will.Die. ----

LeeroyJenkins * This troper once pulled one of these while playing manhunt (team tag in the dark) my teamates were formulating a complex plan when I got fed up, so I told them to run, grabbed a handy pot and spoon (we were

camping) and banged them together, everyone on the other team chased me, and everyone on my team made it to the base (including me!) * [[@/{{Essex}} This Troper]] suffered from a case of LeeroyJenkins when I started playing ''TearsToTiara''. I got killed in the ''first'' battle ''twice'' before I started [[TheChessmaster thinking tactically]]. * When playing Doom, this troper sometimes pulls off a Leeroy, for the added risk of being in an imprevisible situation. ** Doom is always a Leeroy for me. ** Soon as I can find my old copy of DOOM II, I've got to give that a try! * This troper is pretty much a Leeroy in any FPS, rail shooter, or 3PS that she plays. * At one point while playing CastleVania: Judgement, I was playing as Death fighting Time Death, and I was beaten several times, so, when he was spamming the super attack, I just said "Screw it. LEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOY JENKINS!". * In any shooting game [[@/GamerChick this tropette]] has played at least once, she will simply go in all guns blazing. Much more fun. ** Are you me? =) * [[{{Tropers.YouMustDie}} This troper]], IN RealLife. YES, THAT'S RIGHT. Although, I haven't died yet... * Gets this troper killed quite often in every video game she's played, but once at a movie theater, someone shouted "LEEEEROOOOOOOOOOY JEEEEENKIIIIIIINSSSS" from the back of the theater...that was pretty weird. * This troper's game tactics are all the same: rush in, kill people, and try not to die. I fail at the last part. * In ''[[GaiaOnline zOMG!]]'', I sometimes get bored enough to do a Leeroy on purpose. People generally find it amusing as long as I'm not crewing with them or anything. ** Speaking of zOMG!, this troper frequently finds himself pulling Leeroys ''entirely by accident''. Enemy targeted from a distance? No problem, I'll just reel the little bastard in with Sunrays (eighth ring) and let my crew mates... wait a minute, I'm running over to it and attacking with Hack. Right in the midst of all its buddies. Hoo boy, bad time to press 5 instead of 8... * [[@/{{mehayo}} This troper]] DM'd a DungeonsAndDragons campaign where we convinced a character to name himself Scorpious "Leroy" Jenkins. After the first few sessions of combat, he switched to crossbow full time. * Maybe doing this in Metal Gear Solid isn't so nice, but it sure is fun. * More than once, I have shouted this out in appropriate situations. Also, if I get bored with a strategy game, I'll just do the all-gunsblazing-no-holds-barred approach for whatever game it may be. * Had this happen in the CWK Grandmaster fight in MapleStory once. Background knowledge: The accepted strategy for the fight (consisting of four bosses, one on an elevated platform and the other three below) is to have someone lure the bottom three bosses to a corner while everyone kills off the boss on the platform, then send over the other

three bosses to the other corner one at a time. Essentially divide and conquer. Problem is, the lurer can only do his job efficiently if nobody else is attacking the three bosses, and at that time there were a few people who apparently didn't get the strategy in their head and went all over the place. And since the bosses work exceedingly well when they're together, tombstones soon began to follow... * In [=TF2=], people do not seem to expect a fleeing Medic to make an instant 180 and rush straight back with the bonesaw leading the way. This troper has caught more than a few pursuing Pyros and Demomen with this tactic. It's also very therapeutic to jump in a crowd with the fire axe in hand and hope for a lucky crit. * Happens too often in ''Left4Dead''. They are the guys who think running ahead as fast as you can is the way to play, or that they can take on any Witch they encounter. They're also the ones who will always throw a bad molotov that severely hurts the rest of the team. Leeroy Jenkins players in this game are usually dealt with by letting the player be punished for their idiocity (or they will shoot the guy themselves) and then vote them off. This troper and his friends once had a little girl on the team and she would try to kill every Witch we saw. [[HilarityEnsues Fun times rolled around when she tried to kill a Witch with a friggin' Uzi]]. ** I managed to have two different types of Leeroy in my first round of ''{{Left 4 Dead}} 2'', namely the guy who tried to sprint past all the zombies without engaging them and the guy who rushed ahead of the group. The second one was apparently just new and didn't know to stick together, the first one was an idiot. * Normally, this troper does this when important [=NPCs=] that he's come to like die. It normally gets him killed. * This troper pulled a rather amusing one when she was in a rp, deliberately having her character (Leon's his name) going up against a sorcerer when he's basically magic fodder. How fun that was. >D * [[@/MalachiteDragon This troper]] did this quite literally 5 minutes ago while playing F.E.A.R 2. And it would've worked, too, if that damn Replica soldier with the friggin' Laser hadn't popped out from those double doors... * This Troper plays a variant of Capture the Flag called Capture the Flag with Stuff, in which the titular "stuff" consists of various items that affect the game (wands, potions, and belts.) One belt, Andy Warhol's Belt of Pop Occultism, allows the user to stun all members of the other team in the area for sixty seconds. The activation phrase? "LEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYY JEEEEEEEEEENKKKKKIIIIIIIIIIIINSSSS!!!!!!" * When this troper and his comrades were playing a game of laser tag we were cornered by the other team with odds that were clearly on the other team's side, all three of us charged out guns blazing, shouting LEEEEEEEEEEEROY JEEEEEEEEEEEENKIIIIIINSSSSSSS (Though you can't actually drag it out, as you are liable to be stunned mid-word if you do.) * [[@/PentiumMMX2 This troper]], when playing [[DotHack .hack]], has a tendency to do this when a powerful monster targets my Wavemaster, who's there for serve as a healer most of the time (You don't mess with my healer...and that goes double if Mistral is serving as my

healer). Also, when playing {{Doom}}, i have a tendency to charge into some rooms, packed full of various demons and such, using my chaingun to mow them down while shouting "I am bulletproof!", like [[TeamFortress2 Heavy]]. You'd be surprised how well that strategy works most of the time * This troper will sometimes inadvertently find himself in this situation. He will run out, thinking everything is clear, then start getting shot in the back by enemies that have managed to get around him. I usually manage to get away, though. * @@Is it possible to have a real life example?@@ Anyway, this troper once went to an AliceInWonderland interactive outdoor play, and as the rabbit went through the hole, I exclaimed "Follow that rabbit!" and charged into the rabbit hole. [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} Yeah, I'm that type of person...]] * I went through a stage where if I was playing a video game I behaved like a {{Leeroy Jenkins}} as an actual strategy in single player mode... to my amazement ''it actually worked'' a lot of the time. Sometimes the game just isn't prepared for something as simple as an [[{{Halo}} armoured spartan]] coming rushing towards the enemy position slinging sticky grenades and firing a plasma pistol at full speed at the nearest elite. Yeah, I died a lot, but probably less than I would've playing tactically. Cue me using this strategy in co-op with a friend who played more tactically. I ran in causing havoc, while he hung back and picked off anything that looked too ugly. Worked like a charm. Being a berserker isn't always bad. In single player at least. I'm more tactical in multiplayer. ** Are you kidding? Beserker-ing is ''way'' more effective in multiplayer, since the other player who's hanging back acts as a SpawnPoint. * Speaking of Halo, a good Leeroy Jenkins strategy is dual wielding either [=SMG=]s or Spikers. It's like being Captain Mifune from Matrix Revolutions; you last a little bit before you get your ass kicked hard by a Ghost or someone with a shotgun. Though miraculously this strategy ended up with me reaching Lt. * This Troper cannot play a video game without ,at least once somehow charging through all guns ablazing.If it is obvious that won't work I will wait as long as it takes, and then the minute I get the chance i will charge through anywhere I can as long as I can. No matter the outcome or how impossible it seems. * [[@/{{Miso}} I've]] done this playing BrutalLegend. Multiplayer AI practice, Ironheade vs. Ironheade. Actually, gentle difficulty. The first time I played it like this. I charged for the opposing stage with just Headbangers, Razor Girls, and a couple Thunderhogs. Just before, I said "LEEEEEEROOOOOOY JEEEEENKIIIIIIIIIIIINS!" * This troper isn't very good at FPS games, and finds the only way he can make a signfcant contribuation to the team is tto run forward and draw fire and attetion, while the good players go and win the game. Its hillarous when some gets close to kill me, then gets taken out by a scout waiting for someone to apporach the obvious diverson, or busy killing said diverson. This works well unless I'm in a game where EVERYONE is a newbie, then were all fucked * 1. Find a multiplayer game that requires teamwork (EG

''TeamFortress2'', ''{{Left 4 Dead}}''.) **2. Scream "LEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYY JEEEEEEEEEENKKKKKIIIIIIIIIIIINSSSS!!!!!!" **3. ??? **4. PROFIT *** Or you get kicked by paranoid team members. * This troper once ran a Role Play dungeon on {{Mabinogi}} with a friend of mine and her brother. The quest has the party leader (my friend in this case) playing an experienced Mage, Tarlach, I was a loli archer, Mari, and my friend's brother was Ruairi, the sole melee fighter of the three. He clearly had no concept of team strategy when you're the sole melee fighter with an archer and a mage; he would frequently run off to the other side of the room and ignore the rest of us while the enemy skeletons were walloping us at melee range. Even worse, he totally abandoned us to die in one room and ran off ahead, and then by the time he finally returned both my friend and I were dead, and he didn't even bother using any healing potions despite Ruairi starting with plenty to spare. When he died as a result, I totally gave up on the dungeon and left; knowing full well the boss of the dungeon is impossible to defeat without Mari. It was my attempt to cut short a clearly doomed quest before we got any further. ** This Tropette also plays Mabinogi, and another friend and I are referred to as "barbarians"...Meaning we run in and Leeroy, to the point where during a Skype chat with other players that are friends, I ran into a room in Longa dungeon and screamed, "LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOOOYY...JEEEEEEEEEEEEENKIIIIIINS~!" * This Troper has seen his fair share of these in the ''[[UnchartedDrakesFortune Uncharted 2]]'' online multiplayer mode, especially in the co-op games. Admittedly, it can be partly attributed to a lack of communication means unless one has a headset, but the [[TooDumbToLive sheer idiocy]] of some of the players is mindboggling. * This troper + Team Fortress 2 + Scout + Baseball Bat = this. Regardless of which map I'm playing on. * This troper is this whenever he plays a strategy game,with a little bit of turtling. He just can't attack until he knows his units are all upgraded and he has reached the population cap. He hates sending units to their death so when he attacks he needs to be sure he WILL win by throwing everything you've got at the enemy without planning. Usually he loses wich is why he doesn't play multiplayer very much. May be because of the [[VideogameCaringPotential VideogameCaringPotential]] * Superficially, this troper is Leeroy Jenkins at most games he plays. However, I use care and actually invest a lot of skill into CQB combat. * Played straight and subverted by this troper. In most [=MMOs=], I end up being TheCaptain for my group - so 90% of the time I have to be patient, calm, and keep everyone else's suicidal urges in check. ... But if the group is powerful enough I turn into a Leeroy; largely because I know they can handle it, it gets us through faster, and it's more entertaining. (If your group can handle 4 pulls at once, and you're doing just 1, you're playing it too safe! >.>) It's funny, it gets me a reputation for being nuts... yet I very, very, very rarely

actually cause any deaths, wipes are extremely rare. I kind of like it that way hehe * I can be this in 40k. Case of point: five space marines from a tactical squad against Kharn, with the tactical marines being the chargers. Cue "Let The Bodies Hit The Ground". Having said that, my best friend once made his dreadnought charge my wolf lord with a thunder hammer, melta bombs and a storm shield, who was in a squad of Blood Claws with one squad member armed with a power fist. My wolf lord failed to slay the dreadnought while my blood claw slew it. [[{{CrowningMomentOfAwesome}}And I took no casualties.]] Kinda makes up for my reputation of being garanteed to lose a game, no matter how certain victory looks... * This troper role plays in a FinalFantasyVII sim on SecondLife and believes some of his AVALANCHE friends are a bunch of leeroys, including the higher ranked guys who should be setting an example since they're semi-leaders. The faction had way too many cases where a rebel would attack a Shinra patrol, causing the enemy to call in for stronger forces by the time the leeroy calls for help. It got to the point where people now don't even bother coming out to save people from this stupidity, though this had recently caused much stress and in faction fighting on what the group should do in these cases since some thing leaving people behind for this makes the group look like jerks. * This troper does this when playing Sven Co-op [[NintendoHard SinglePlayer]], though considering how fucking hard it is to solo a Co-op game, it works ''wonders''. * I ran into this problem fairly often while raiding Sunwell Plateau in WorldOfWarcraft, notably with Kalecgos. To be fair, Kalecgos' aggro range is large enough that people who aren't standing on his platform can aggro him, unlike most other raid bosses, in which it's possible to get everyone over the threshold and into the boss arena before the pull, so that even if someone jumps the gun, the others don't get locked out. Unfortunately, this often happens before I can explain the fight, and the members tend not to listen to my telling them to get in the portals. Surprisingly though, not all these incidents result in total disaster; we almost defeated Brutallus when one member went Leeroy and pulled him before my explanation or Ready check. * [[@/{{ZombiezuRFER}} This troper]] is writing out a story for a Halo Reach machinima, and this trope is lampshaded when the hulking Elite armed with a Gravity Hammer runs into the fray and shouts out "ZZOOOOOOOMMMMBIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE, ZURFEEEEEERRRR!!!!!" ** You think that's bad? Whenever I'm doing Firefight, theres always one idiot who charges at a Wraith, Hunter or group of Elites. Three guesses how this ends... * Happens quite a bit when this troper and her friends play PerfectWorld and especially with one friend in particular - this troper plays a Venomancer who has to strategize through dungeons, and her impatient friend is a Barbarian who constantly pulls this move in said dungeons. Having a very high-leveled character compared to her friends does make the Leeroy maneuver not-so-risky, though it's killed our other friends a few times. * This trope is part of the reason I prefer to solo, and why I don't

get into MMO's that ''require'' teaming. On the other hand, I have regularly teamed with this kind of player just cause he's a cool guy and fun most of the time, but I always, always, ''always'' have a contingency. After awhile you kind of expect him to pull an IndyPloy out of his ass, and learn how to [[XanatosSpeedChess plan around it]], or even [[BatmanGambit count on it]]. * This Troper does this all the time in ''Laserquest'' games. LaughingMad optional. [[RuleOfFun It's just more fun that way]]. * In a few games of Warhammer40k, this Troper tends to do this with his [[RedshirtArmy Imperial Guard]]. One particularly memorable game involved the battle essentially having 2 phases. The first was a tactical, planned armored advance with mechanized units. This attack was annhilated by enemy antitank. The second phase involved a massed infantry charge that killed everything in its path. Just goes to show that while you may be a Wolf Lord in decked out Terminator armor, when 60 guys with bayonets decide they want to stab you to death? You. Will. Die.....Eventually. * This Troper once participated in an indoor, flashlights-only Capture the Flag war, inside a church, from 11 PM to 5 AM. Each team had two captains, and my friend Jason (also the youth pastor) and I were captains of one team, and [[SeriousBusiness we took our roles seriously]]. After having our butts handed to us for three or four times, we requested a time-out and called our team members together in an attempt to formulate a strategy. Five minutes of planning gave us a very solid strategy for defending our base (the main sanctuary) and infiltrating the opponent's base (the youth sanctuary and the kitchen) with as few people at a time as possible. Just as we were preparing to call off the time-out, one of our teammates ran out from the bathroom and across the church to invade the other team, screaming like a maniac. His attack ended the time-out and put us back at square one. [[MemeticMutation At least he had chicken.]] * Upon triumphantly telling her friend about the time she played Elder Scrolls: Oblivion and used stealth alone to infiltrate the Mythic Dawn Cult's base, kill every member, and get back out alive (an exploit that took exactly five in-game days), this Troper got a blank look and "Why didn't you just run in swinging your sword and throwing fireballs and fight them where they could see you? It'd be faster." She tried this on a different save. Her friend was right. * This troper tends to play support types in CityOfHeroes. I see Leeroy Jenkins-types as a win-win situation: either they pull off a CrowningMomentOfAwesome, or I've got a chance to use Vengeance and Fallout (a powerful team buff and a powerful AoE attack, both of which require a defeated teammate to activate). * This troper is prone to do this in CallOfDutyBlackOps. Whenever someone's popping out from behind a window and shooting, picking off his teammates while other allies shoot quick bursts from behind walls, he charges forward firing the [[MoreDakka FAMAS at their head.]] It usually works, and anyone who kills him afterward immediately dies in a bullet storm from the previously-hiding aforementioned allies. * This troper knows a very random boy named Cole. One lunch, he screamed LEEROY JENKINS! then crashed into the lockers. This had [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext absolutely no context whatsoever]] and

managed to not be the randomest thing he's done. * This troper once pulled a Leeroy while playing Dungeons and Dragons. The party was invading a goblin underground base (AKA dungeon) and found the mess hall. I had my character bang pots and pans together very loudly, thus causing every bad guy in the dungeon to storm into the room. However, this in itself was not a Leeroy; I had a plan, namely using the tables as cover and inviting the bad guys into a death trap of arrows and sharp objects being poked over the furniture, causing bodies to pile up around the [=PCs=] as we laughed maniacally. Sadly, this plan had a flaw: I had neglected to inform anyone else and give the party time to fortify the area, and thus I pulled a Leeroy. I (the party Rogue) had great fun hiding under a table and repeatedly sneak-attacking everyone without being noticed for several rounds, but the DM still had to save our asses. * I've teamed with at least one in every MUD I've ever played. I've seen them often enough to sort of clock them ahead of time and have a self-preservation measure in case they go off, and if they're lucky, have a contingency to pull their poor asses out of the fire. * I was playing a mission based off of the Rush game mode from BattlefieldBadCompany at the local airsoft field and our team was set to capture the last base, but the fast push we had made forward at the beginning stagnated at the last base when a few accurate, hardened defenders began to make their final stand and our tickets started dwindling. After performing a quick recon mission in the woods that brought me within 100 feet of the enemy base, I was returning to our front lines to report on their numbers and positions when suddenly there was a massive "RAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" from the direction of our base. Suddenly, a 6'4 Englishman was charging down the path straight toward the last base with a tomahawk raised above his head and the last 20 or 25 men of our army right behind him. Surprisingly, it WORKED; the defenders were so confused and startled by the sudden {{Braveheart}} charge that they forgot to fire until our army could see the whites of their eyes. When the charge started to falter and the troops started freezing up behind flimsy cover and trying to take accurate shots, I forced them to charge straight into the base and effectively ''scare'' the enemies into fleeing and giving up the game. * This troper's cousin ''and'' brother are this. Many a time have my plots and plans been reduced to ashes by their haste. ---All right, let's make a plan about redirecting to the * "All right, guys, let's do this! [[Main/LeeroyJenkins LEEEEEEEEEROOYYYYYYY...JEEEEEEEEEEEEENKIIIIIIIIIIIINS!!!]]" ** No, wait, don'tAUUUGH!! ** Well, at least he had chicken... ** Alas, poor Leeroy, I knew thee not at all... <<|TroperTales|>>

Left4Dead * One if the funniest moments me and my friends had in left 4 dead was when we where trying to get the achievment of no witches startled

during the campaign Dead air.So of course at the fourth level there was a witch right in the saferoom.I then proceed to walk over to the witch, and crushed her to death with the door. When my friend in the next level said that we still kinda startled a witch i said( in a complete Trollvoice) I didn't do it, It was the DOOR. Said friend proceede to laugh his ass off and after that we got the achievment anyway. * Originally, this Troper had been a troll, but only to hardcore players! Once in Survival in the original game, I started shooting at the francis player with an SMG, who, understandably, shot me back with a shotgun. as the two bots healed us on the opposite sides of the watertower, he managed to throw a moltov which i narrowly avoided, we chased each other 3/4 around the water tower when he had to reload. I spayed him into his own fire, which he escaped by jumping off to his own death. He called me a rather explicit word to which I responded with N00b! He left the game. * This was funny and awesome, me and my Dad are playing and Dad goes into a room to search for ammo. I go off on my own, as the bots were dead. Five minutes later, my Dad leaves the room to see me run straight past him yelling "KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT!" while being chased by a flaming and very pissed off Witch. My dad walks out once it has passed him and opens up with an assault rifle and kills it. There's a pause. Then my dad deadpans "Please stop anoying the emo zombies." * This could count as CrowningMomentOfFunny for me. On the finale of Dead Air, we had just fought off a second horde and were about to fight the tank, I got on the mounted machine gun, found the tank, he threw a cargo storage container at us, incapped three of us, my friend looked at it bounce off the semitruck and incap him so it took serious aim to incap all four of us with one container. * This troper's [[http://scottthong.wordpress.com/2011/02/28/funnycool-and-other-left-4-dead-2-stories/ running collection here]]. Own recollections welcome! * My CrowningMomentOfAwesome from my first time playing the second game simply ''must'' be told. It was at a friend's house, who greatly enjoyed using console commands to create unlimited hordes of zombies... counteracted with invincibility, infinite ammo and a [[ChainsawGood CHAINSAW]]. At one point, I was surrounded on all sides by hundreds of zombies. What did I do? [[SpinAttack Super Chainsaw Tornado Attack]]! This was apparentley so awesome, the three CPU allies were just standing there, ''watching''. That's right, I was so awesome '''''I IMPRESSED A COMPUTER PROGRAM'''''. ** \M/ ^_^ \M/ * Playing the original Left 4 Dead Solo on Expert. I was being an idiot and muted the game audio and was playing some System of a Down. I went into a room, opened up the closet, and immediately got jumped by a tank. [[BringMyBrownPants I needed a change of pants after that...]] * Playing Left4Dead2 on advanced, I got Sob Story by accident. I was playing with three bots, and going through the sugar mill. When I got Sob Story on a different profile, it took me five tries on easy, with only one bot. I got it without trying, on a much harder difficulty, on

the first go. YouWereTryingTooHard, indeed. ** This troper got Sob Story the first time of playing Hard Rain, also by accident. *** This troper as well. He got ''VIOLENCE IN SILENCE'' also by accident. **** [[SinfireTitan This troper]] had spent several attempts with a friend and two bots trying to get Sob Story. We misread the achievement and thought it required to not STARTLE a witch. Needless to say, the bots were no help with that (Goddamn it Rochelle). Nearly 8 attempts later, I was checking the achievements to see if I could find an easier one (my friend had left for the day, so just me and three bots). I reread Sob Story, and decided to attempt it again. I got it without startling a single witch anyway. My friend wouldn't speak to me for a week. * ''Left4Dead''. This troper was in a versus game at the finale of No Mercy as the Infected. We'd been the first team to try as survivors and our opponents had slaughtered us not long after we called in the helicopter. On our turn as infected, we didn't bother trying to slow them down in the hallways, we all just went to the rooftop. Our Boomer and two Hunters stood near the top of the ladder leading onto the roof while I, as the Smoker, went over to the satellite dish. Our plan was for our Boomer to lose his lunch down the hole, me to rope the first one that came out and the hunters to tackle the other two (the fourth guy was probably going to be busy with the regular infected, the guy who planned it never said). What happened was that I was a bit too quick on the trigger with my tongue; grabbing the first survivor (Francis) as he reached the top of the ladder, leaving him to dangle at the top of the ladder, covered in Boomer bile with no way for the other survivors to rescue him. This worked out better as he was killed quickly. The remaining survivors made it onto the roof, but our Boomer managed to slime them all with his death explosion and I roped Zoey, dragging her off the roof and down to the base of the dish tower. Her companions saved her (they were slowed down, but not as much as they could have since one of our Hunters pounced right over the edge of the building), but she'd been incapacitated, so was low on health. They called the copter and as Zoey came out onto the roof (not having had the chance to heal yet), I roped her again, dragging her once more to the base of the dish tower. Louis couldn't save her; having been tackled by a Hunter just as I grabbed Zoey. I'm not sure what happened to Bill (probably pounced and slimed) as my attention was elsewhere. It is without doubt the greatest moment I have ever experienced in the game. ** This troper was playing a game on No Mercy. As we hadn't played the game much at that point, we weren't doing very well, and the survivors were of course doing quite well. The Director then granted our team with a Tank. The Tank proceeded to ''punch a car into all four Survivors,'' incapacitating all of them. ** We were on the Blood Harvest finale, and felt sorry for the one person on the other team. All his friends had quit because our team was winning. So we decided, in order for it to be remotely fair, we would all grab sniper rifles and hold out in the cornfield for the finale. ''It worked.'' Two of us made it away!

** In one of my rounds of Death Toll, if came down to the final tank charging up the dock as the survivors boarded the boat, punching those who had already boarded off into the water, and then camping the deck until they all went down. The CMOA was the opportunity for him to deliver the line, "I'M ON A BOAT!" while jumping up and down just before the end. * The ''bots'' got one in my first "No Mercy" playthrough (as Bill). I jumped off the roof onto two AC units, then down from those. A few seconds into the alley, I'm getting ''mauled'' by Infected everywhere. Just as I hit about 50 health, Francis, Zoey, and Louis come barreling in, killing all the zombies and then having Zoey heal me. I never abandoned my bots for the rest of the game. ** Same troper, same campaign; Dropped both a Witch and a Hunter down an elevator shaft. ** Me again! L4D2 this time; Hard Rain. Threw a Molotov at a Tank (That was right in fromt of me at the time) and a Commo Infected ran in front of me to get burned as it passed by. I repeat; the Molotov lt something on fire ''before it hit the ground''. Sadly, [[DethroningMomentOfSuck a Charger then rammed me off the dock as I was waiting for Virgil.]] *** I had a somewhat similar experience playing offline co-op with my friend. We were playing Dark Carnival, right before the crescendo even with the meyy-go-round. I was incapped right before the drop, and my teammates had all jumped down before me. As I was bleeding out, my friend and one of the bots got killed. I was out 20 health (LITERALLY only a second from dying), when Coach appeared out of nowhere to save me. We proceeded to kick ass and take names on out way to saferoom. Coach was renamed Super Coach, and all was well, until a Tank coated the walls with us thirty seconds into the next level. * This Troper got one on the second part of No Mercy, in the subway station. This Troper was on the infected team, and our team of two Hunters, a Smoker, and a Boomer, got ready for an ambush. This Troper was the Smoker. The Boomer ran in first, and while they were distracted with the new weapons and the infected around, boomed three of the four. The fourth one, trying to escape and help his teammates, was pulled by me, as the Smoker. The Hunters pounced two of the others, and the Boomer, along with his minions, mauled the final guy to death. Infected win in less than 2 minutes of gameplay. * This Troper got one in the finale of No Mercy. While running through the top level of the hospital before reaching the roof, Zoey was jumped by a Hunter. Being the closest person, he ran over to help, and punched the Hunter off of Zoey. And off of the building. He then walked to the edge and watched it fall. Satisfying as all hell. * I was playing his second run-through of The Passing with a group of new players who had no mics. I joined right at the beginning, before the group even got off the street. Out of nowhere, a tank attacked. The tank rampaged down the hallway of the first building before smacking me into a small room with several guns, ammo.....and a gas can on the floor. Right before the tank made his final hit, with the other survivors distracted by a hoard, I fired a burst into the gas tank at my feet, engulfing the room in flames and killing the tank before it got out of the room. Fortunately, the dude playing Nick

managed to save me from the burning building, but a HeroicSacrifice would have made it so much more awesome. * I was playing through the Realism Versus mutation on The Passing. Less than five seconds before we officially left the safe zone, a Boomer jumps down, slimes everyone, and runs away. He then proceeds to do the exact same thing five minutes later after we had forgotten about him. DeadWeight my ass, he was outright {{Acrofatic}}. * A friend and I were playing the boathouse finale of Death Toll. I'll admit we hadn't done great the whole game, and the finale was more of the same. By the time the boat horn sounded we were pretty beat up. Me, my friend, and the two all limped (literally) to the dock, taking out the few zombies along the way. But when we arrived the usual final finale hordes spawned, and the boat was still forever away. I literally said ThisIsGonnaSuck and (possibly "[[FuturAma we're boned.]]") The zombies came into visual rang, and I spent the last of my ammo shooting them in the distance. A few seconds before they appeared my friend [[CrazyPrepared pulled out a molotov]] I hadn't noticed he saved, and threw it onto the far end of the pier. The whole horde ran straight into it and died as they reached us. Then the boat arrived. I called him a "[[BritishAccents cheeky bastard]]" as we climbed aboard. * During the Versus Survival mutation, I was the Smoker and climbed up on top of the concert stage in Dark Carnival: Concert and the person who played Coach climbed to the top of the scaffolding next to the concert stage. So I smoked him. Where the fun starts is the smoking pulled him all the way off the platform and a little bit into the air. So he was literally hanging. Even though he had almost full health, none of the other players came by to assist him. When he was almost dead I realized, OMG, I lunched Coach! For added fun, several games later in Versus, I was the Smoker on Dead Center: Hotel, went to the 2nd floor to due the window ledge smoking. After pulling one to the ledge, I smoked Coach at the right momemt and the Smoker pulled him all the way off the ledge so he was hanging a little below the 2nd floor and I realized I had done it again. ** After the team switch in the afore mentioned Versus Survival: 1) I ended up as Coach, and 2) the player who was Nick decied to suicide during the setup by jumping off a high scaffolding, so I grabbed the defib and started zapping him, but stopping just before he got up. I did it 20-30 times, and we all found ti hilarious. This was before a patch added a time limit to the Versus Survival prep. When I finally completed the zapping and he got up. He gave his line to stop zapping him cause that really hurt. * Any of you guys ever played a game that total zombie kills are at 3300 zombies and you personally killed nearly half of that (around 1500) by yourself? Yeah, I never think that that's possible, but I just have a Hard Eight game in the Parish on Easy, and that's what happens. The next 2 guys kill around 600 each...that's the most awesome game ever! * My first witch kill happened the first time I played No Mercy (ie, first time I fired up the game), where she'd spawned near the scissor lift. It involved me pumping an entire clip of hunting rifle ammo into her...with no damage to myself or my suspiciously dodgy AI teammates.

Toss in the fact that I actually got no help from the fiddly, suddenly gun-shy bits of code either, and I pretty much ended up soloing my first witch without a shotgun or a Molotov. I celebrated by cracking my AI allies in the skull with the butt of my rifle (my exact thoughts then being "why weren't you bastards shooting?! You were doing so much of it before she showed up!"). * I ended up with [[{{Tropers/Ryumaru}} my]] first and (as of current posting) only Cr0wn on a different profile than my own, at a friend's house in the first game. I snuck up behind her, she looked at me and stood up, prompting the "OHGODI'MGOINGTODIE" response. So I started blasting with my auto-shotgun. A few seconds later, we had a dead Witch and me doubting very much that I'd cr0wned her. Then the achievement pops up. Cue fist pump. * This troper rarely plays public games due to jackass griefers, but there were a few occasions where I got the upper hand on a griefer. In the 2nd map of Death Toll, after the sewer event, there was a guy who turned and shot one of our own till he went down. Luckily, I was in the distance with the Hunting Rifle and sniped his sorry ass till he went down. We then all shot him to death and kicked him from the game. In another game during Crash Course, a mic spammer was being a dick and after we had to restart due to dying from a Tank, he proceeds to try and shoot me to death. I run ahead with him hot on my heels until I find an Auto Shotgun. I then turned around to face him and blasted him till he died. * During a recent (as of this post) game of Versus in Dark Carnival, there was a ''VERY'' good player who made playing hell for the opposing team. Come the coaster level and this person decides to abandon his teammates and start the coaster all on his own, managing to kill everything coming his way while the other survivors were just exiting the tunnel of love. Cue my friend as a Hunter pouncing on the nearly full-HP person and myself spitting on them, killing them and thus, letting us win that round. * Playing Left 4 Dead on Dead Air. Just as you get to the safe house when you finally reach the airport, I charged on ahead over the sky bridge as my friends were cleaning up. Salvation! I had made it! Until... a tank spawned in the safe house with me on my lonesome. In the thralls of OhCrap, I panicked and hammered the Use key. Inadvertantly, I had trapped the Tank behind the unbreakable safehouse door. My team caught up and we laughed merrily as the Tank was helplessly pumped full of bullets. * I couldn't play L4D2 online when I first got it(I forget why), so I decided to play through anyway. Somehow, I managed to get Sob Story the first try, and to beat The Parish alone the first time. Yes, with three bots. All of them survived Sob Story, although I abandoned them on The Bridge and spent a while watching the messages telling me what the AIs were doing while I hung out in the helicopter chopping up everything that came in range until they died. These proud moments was balanced by the utter destruction I encountered during my first Dark Carnival run - on the level where you fight your way through an endless horde to the saferoom, I had abandoned my bots as lost causes and was half dead while I sliced through the horde, and encountered a Boomer. As if that wasn't bad enough, guess what was in the saferoom?

Yup - a Tank! Long story short, I was brutally slaughtered and RageQuit for a while. I still don't like that level. ** Update: I can now safely say I have had the most epic, most fun playthrough I will ever, ever have. I was a little leery about playing online due to [[{{Griefer}} griefers]], but two friends and I decided to start up a lobby together. After a long wait, we got started on Dead Center. The other team started to sing. I kid you not. One person broke into [[{{Aladdin}} A Whole New World]] and not long after, their entire team was singing improv about what was going on in the match. One person got kicked for not singing. Fourth players who joined my side and complained about the singing got the singers to start improv on them instead of the game. I was laughing the entire time. That was the best loss I've ever experienced, I had no problem with it whatsoever. * Playing some Versus and ending up in a pick-up group against a seasoned four-man team is bad. Having said four-man team utterly dominate us is worse. That four-man team's theme being "[[{{Pokemon}} Team Rocket]]" (Jessie, James, Meowth and Giovanni) is indescribably humiliating. Suffering ''Pokemon''-themed insults in chat ("you guys stink worse than a Grimer in a garbage dump!") is why this troper hasn't played Versus mode since. * When playing Versus on The Parish in L4D2, we pinned the survivors down in a bar. Not very good usually as a hunter, I managed to rake one of the survivors to death on a stairwell before pegging it. The Survivors marched onward and eventually found themselves a Defib, at which point the dead player DEMANDED that they return for him. So they did. They revived him, sure, but I was back in business as a Spitter. I ended up incapping an additional Survivor and killing another. The one who demanded that they returned for him? I ended up hanging from the balcony as a Smoker as he jumped to activate the Parade Float. Some games just go very well. * Whenever a Hunter is killed mid-lunge, something funny is bound to happen, but this particular one took the cake for me. It's the second level in Dead Air and I descend a stairwell to see a Hunter crouched at the bottom at the end of a corridor. It lunges at me, gets popped in the head and dies mid-lunge. It then proceeds to smack its head into the cement archway at one point in the corridor and does a few reverse flips before landing in a crumpled heap on the floor. * My third time ever playing Left 4 Dead, I was playing with a group of friends on The Sacrifice. I was Bill, as I'd planned to sacrifice myself. All throughout the game I was acting pretty HotBlooded, but I realized there was something missing that I hadn't said yet. Throughout the campaign my other two friends had been pretty shitty teammates, and mostly just left my friend and I to our own devices. Just at the finale, my friend - playing Louis - was being ridden by a jockey. I killed it from about ten meters with the semi-auto shotgun. Seconds later, he was hit by a Charger. As I turned to save him again, I remembered what I had been missing. [[RedDawn "WOLVERINES!"]] I yelled and blasted the Charger. Once we were on the bridge, I was determined to sacrifice myself, but I didn't know how to do it. I kept asking, but nobody answered me. The friend playing Zoey hopped on the mounted machine-gun and had some fun. Cue Louis leaping clean over

Zoey and hitting the generator. He proceeded to rub it in my face while I reminded him that I had specifically chosen to play as Bill. ** The next session, we played No Mercy (still on L4D2), and once again the friend Zoey was being a speedrunning prick. Eventually it came to my friend Louis and Francis (replaced by an AI) lying incapped on the road while Zoey sat in the safe house waiting for us to die. I yelled at my friend to help, but he ignored us. Grabbing my trusty shotgun, I proceeded to rescue both of the single-handed and lead them back to the safehouse. Once there, I [[MemeticBadass memetic badassed]] the situation into Bill storming into the saferoom, covered in gore, pumping his shotgun and asking Zoey how her day had been. * Right after the original Left 4 Dead was released a few friends and I had a [=LAN=] party to get together and play it in the same room. (Lights off, of course.) As we started the campaign in the first safe room one of the guys was busy spraying rude/pornographic pictures all over the walls and floors, we took turns shooting each other to death and generally farted around thinking we were going to be "shootin' us some zombies." Cue 15 minutes later as we're carefully walking through a parking lot, trying not to shoot the cars and set off alarms. There's not a spray in sight and we are all on hair triggers. We manage to fight off an incoming wave and as the last few zombies go down we hear ... crying. OhCrap. We're surrounded by cars and buildings, we've gotten turned around during the horde and we're yelling at each other "where is she? WHERE IS SHE?!" Four hardcore gaming guys who were acting like five-year-olds 15 minutes earlier were so immersed we were ready to crap our pants at the sound of the Witch's crying. By the time we finished the campaign we were sweating and tired as if we had been the survivors and had to call a break. One of the most awesome gaming experiences I've ever had. * I was new at L4D, playing single player. the first time I encountered a witch, [[TooDumbToLive I didn't know that flashlights startled her.]] I had figured that out the second time I encountered one, but while I was looking at her, I thought I saw her look up, which prompted me to fire the shotgun, [[OhCrap startling her.]] I ''really'' hate witches. ** (OP) I managed to get over this first when I killed one with a grenade launcher, and cr0wned another. * [[{{Tropers/Kadorhal}} My]] love for the new Chrome Shotgun was cemented when I managed to cr0wn a Wandering Witch by firing a single shot into the back of her head. She didn't even scream upon her death. ** Also, one time while playing on Advanced mode, I managed to cut both arms off of a Hazmat Infected with a crowbar, only for the zombie in question to [[OnlyAFleshWound get back up and continue trying to hit me.]] I had been waiting for that to happen since the demo. ** Me again, for the new Cold Stream campaign: While on the damaged bridge, a Tank attacked. I lured the Tank back onto the bridge, assuming I would die while my teammates got to a more advantageous position. Instead, I pretty much killed the Tank on my own, and I even got an AK with a laser sight for my trouble when we regrouped. * Probably my biggest moment of Scavenge ownage ever on No Mercy: Rooftop. I was playing with four players who we shall call Ryan, Kenny, and Fazno. First round started, my team was up first. There was

this JerkAss player on the other team named llama, who constantly said we sucked when we were kicking his ass. He said Ryan was a coward (he was sitting on a nearby roof protecting us), Kenny was a lone wolf (when I was constantly watching his back), I just plain sucked (yet I collected 20+ gas cans in that session), and Fazno...he didn't say anything about Fazno. We got 20/21 cans a round (we got 10 cans one round, but we still won), while they're highest was 7. I am now good friends with Kenny, Ryan and Fazno. * This Troper created abit of a [=CMoF=] on Dark Carnival as Ellis. After only getting about four points at Stache Whacker not only using guns but with a second player, I accidentally hit the "Argh" command. --> "''HOG-WASH!''" * This troper uses a talker file add-on that makes the survivors say different things during the game compared to the defaults used by the game. In one game, I was Nick and my friend was Ellis. She shoots me by mistake, causing the following exchange and making us both laugh our ass off: --> '''Nick''': "I hate you, Ellis!" --> '''Ellis''': "Well I still like you, Nick." * Here's a funny moment from playing offline co-op: we were playing the opening chapter of "Swamp Fever" and was in one of little buildings before you actually reach the swamp. A Hunter was lurking nearby, and one of the bots (as Nick) decided to heal me. Until said Hunter jumped me, interrupting Nick. After it was swiftly thwarted, Nick went back to healing me and said, "Now, don't waste this by getting pounced on or something." :O * I was playing the first game, can't remember the campaign, but Me and a friend are up in a watchtower, My friend covers the door, and I try to get a crowned on a witch but it doesn't work, and it comes after me. My friend's waiting at the door to fight it off, then the damn thing comes through the window I shot out of. * I was playing the carnival level of L4D2, and I got surrounded by a horde of zombies in the tunnel of love, with the others all running away ahead. The obvious outcome of this situation is death by five million zombies. Then I remembed I had the chainsaw. Cue lots of random flailing while zombie parts fly everywhere.* When I was playing on a customized 10 vs. 10 No Mercy server, awesome in and of itself, I managed to be one of the only 2 survivors to make it to the saferoom. With 1 health left, black and white, no allies nearby and a boomer chasing me. As the other survivors had slowly been taken out, except for the 1 guy who managed to rush unnoticed, tank running around in the background. Cue "OPEN THE DOOR" and much celebration. ** I also managed, on a similar Parish server, to ram 4 of the 10 survivors off the bridge with a Karma charge, including the one who had charged me last round. * On No Mercy Versus, prepatch, this troper made use of a certain exploit for a CMoF. Namely, he rushed up to the top of the elevator shaft during that stage, and used the time provided by his teammates to shift the rather large generator to block the elevator doors completely. Ten minutes later, after the survivors have been trapped in the elevator for a while and had been reduced to using their pistols, they finally gave up and quit.

* Playing through "The Passing" for the first time on single-player, I had accidentally switched out my preferred weapon combo (Shotgun+Pistols) for a less ideal combination, and as a result, was doing pretty badly in the last chapter. Tanks, spitters, jockeys and chargers had gotten the entire team into the grey zone, with very, very little health left. So what did I do? [[InstantWinCondition I dragged the last gas can all the way across the map and limped my sorry ass back to the car.]] * [[SelfImposedChallenge Self Imposed Challenges go here]] ** I (Kain Lupus) always play for a no-deaths run. I feel the rescue is meaningless if you haven't actually survived. I also like to have at least one piece of gear on me when I get rescued so I can gift it to my rescuer as thanks. I wouldn't consider not using any exploits to be a SelfImposedChallenge, but I do that as well. Oh, and I don't quit a game until I've died or lagged out, I like to take shitty team-mates and impossible odds as added challenges * This Troper's Boyfriend had never played Left 4 Dead 2. So we start it up, and as the intro's playing, the Spitter rears her ugly head. Troper's Boyfriend goes "OHMYGODWHATTHEHELLISTHAT!!!" and a fan is born. Plus In the first level, I got ridden of the hotel by a Jockey. That was embarrassing. * Shutting the safe room door on a Tank is immensely satisfying. * The funniest thing that happened to this Troper and his friends took place halfway through Swamp Fever. We were playing on Advanced and had just left the safe room, none of us were doing to well health wise. Then we heard the Tanks music playing, and my friend ordered us all to rush backto the safe room. So, we were waiting in there for five minutes, when the Tank finally reached the door,when my friend said "Oh wait, the Tank can bust down safe room doors". All I managed to say was "Wait wha-" before I saw the door go flying past my face and the Tank rushing into the room. There were no survivors. * So my girlfriend and I were playing Left 4 Dead 2 tonight. Her favorite campaign is Swamp Fever. After a few mishaps, including me starting a witch I couldn't see and getting stuck on the bridge as it slowly lowered, we made it to the plantation, and managed to hold ourselves out pretty well past the first tank. When it was time for the second one to arrive, I started looking around the courtyard for a direction to shoot in. Then, at the last second, I turned around to see it barging straight through the house itself...along with its identical twin. I was down to one health and my girlfriend was seeing grey, but we still managed to make it to Virgil before dying. * I was just getting used to playing the game so I did the first campaign by myself when I spot a witch on a lower level than I was. When I realized that she had no way to get up to me and that I had a jar of Boomer Bile on me and that there was a Molotov nearby... I laughed for a good minute as she ran around screaming her head off and killing the other infected while she burned. * Changing the Tank theme to [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYtc0ofZ0o this]] makes it incredibly epic when you fight them. Bonus points for killing one to this music on expert with no one getting incapped. * This troper was playing the beta of Cold Stream with a friend of

his, and this troper was at the part where you have to blow up some barrels in order to knock over some barriers blocking your way. While shooting the barrels, the AI [[TheScrappy Rochelle]] was in front of this troper, so he offhandedly remarked that he wished she was closer to the barrels so she'd get blown up. After the barrels blew up, the barriers fell over... [[CrowningMomentOfFunny and one landed on Rochelle and incapped her]]. This troper and his friend could not stop laughing for a bit. * This troper's tale is rather dear to his heart, since it not only made me a fan of the game, but got me into the wonderful world of Valve in general- which includes Team Fortress 2 and Portal. It started one night in my freshman year of college when I was bored with no homework or anything to do. I texted a good friend of mine, a senior, and he invited me over to hang out with him and his roommates. Well, one of them wasn't there but the other was, and in time we had played a rather epic series of Halo battles (another story entirely) and then decided to move on to another game... something called Left 4 Dead. I had heard of it but didn't really know a whole lot other than the basic plot and some of the special infected. I ended up as Francis while my friends were Bill and Zoey. We had the most incompetent Louis-bot ever, whom we repeatedly shot to take out our frustrations at him. I found the game fun but slightly generic until the first Tank showed up, and then I realized I was playing something special. We ripped No Mercy and Blood Harvest both a new one, and I survived my first Witch encounter, learned the merits of pills, and even killed a couple special infected along the way. I've only played it one other time since due to extenuating circumstances, but I'm still a big fan of the series and am hoping to set up some games with friends eventually. * This troper's brother was playing Left 4 Dead one time with his friend and they were holed up in a room during the final level. His friend was holding the door, he was holding the window, I think that the other were dead at this point. They were doing quite well defending the room from the infected. Until a Tank crawled through the window and murdered them both. * This troper remembers an instance that happened when he was playing Dead Carnival. It was at the end of the level, and the helicopter arrived. This troper originally wanted to use adrenaline and sprint into the helicopter, but he [[WhatAnIdiot ran in the wrong direction]]. He tried to turn around and run toward where the helicopter's real location was, but kept getting slowed down by common infected. Rochelle (an AI) was already incapped, and the other survivors (including this troper's friend), where already in the helicopter, so it looked like this troper wouldn't make it. So, this troper decides to take out his grenade launcher and [[ViolationOfCommonSense shoot it at his feet]], the impact damaging this troper slightly (He was playing on normal difficulty), and blowing up all the infected surrounding him. He repeated this twice before he managed to get on the helicopter. ** This troper also remembers a moment where his friend (a different one than the one repeated above) and he were playing the Bridge section in the Parish. It was ThatOneLevel for us, so one time, we

managed to do quite well in the beginning. We had almost full health, we haven't used our medkits yet, we had adrenaline, and we had plenty of ammo. Then a Charger came and [[HopeSpot knocked us both into the water]]. * When I played Left 4 Dead for the first time with my cousins who were crazy about it, I was scared as hell. I kept hearing sobbing and screaming and I just kept shooting everything and everyone. I pretty much gave up after that. A year later, after engrossing myself with movies like Zombieland and other zombie apocalyptic novels and games, I fell in love with it. I still run and shoot like crazy when I see a Witch though... * This Troper will never forget crowning his first witch. It was the streets in Dead Center. Three bots with him, in the maintenance room before the underpass. There's a common infected on the first short stairwell, right in front of the witch, one that the bots took out without startling it. This troper begins to sneak in for the kill when a spitter hocks a glob of acid in the middle of the room. ''[[ImprobableAimingSkills The bots take it out without startling the witch.]]'' This troper sneaks in again, getting about five feet away without startling the witch, and blasts it through the head with buck shot. * At one point in the Dark Carnival campaign, there's a hole in the floor where you have to drop down blind into the Tunnel of Love (and apparently Tanks love that spot too.) This troper hocked a molly to clear a landing space, and was looking down enjoying the damage. In rapid succession, she was hit by a Smoker, Hunter, and Jockey. All through the fire. The bots kept firing, but stayed upstairs. [[TheComputerIsACheatingBastard All this on ''Easy.'']] ** Later on in Hard Rain, I was looking for a Tank I'd heard but couldn't see, to try and trigger it before we had to call the elevator. Eventually I gave up and hit the button. One horde later, the elevator comes up; [[DynamicEntry surprise,]] [[OhCrap Tank.]] * [=L4D1=] - [[Tropers/KainLupus Me]] and two friends just played a Versus Match against some strangers, and we curb-stomped them (none of us died). After we got in the APC (Blood Harvest), my friend unlocked the achievement UNBREAKABLE, for neither being healed nor healing. Totally didn't know you could get Campaign achievements on Versus ** Also, I've got MAN VS TANK on Advanced ** This one time I was playing Blood Harvest, and we'd just arrived at The Farmhouse. I hadn't died once so far, but I was red. I went to grab my kit before someone chavved it and another Survivor (who I refuse to refer to as my team-mate) pitched up that I should die and respawn for the health boost. I started to object, and got cut short by a shotgun blast to the face. I was quite pissed off. At the time I was like "chill, it's not a big deal" and quit the game, but now I wish I'd respawned and killed him. Oh, well... * Picture this: I'm playing Left 4 Dead 2, and I'm on Level 2 of The Parish. I'm running ahead of my bot buddies (I was playing on Solo), and I'm right at the safe room door. The next thing I know, a Hunter [[JumpScare jumps out of the safe room]] [[CrowningMomentOfFunny and proceeds to claw the shit out of me.]] * Ahh, Left 4 Dead. The mention of it brings back memories of that

cornfield that basically creeped out this troper. Another memorable moment was when this troper and her friends were trying to get past a witch unnoticed, and someone said, "Sorry guys, no choice", and took a potshot at the witch. Cue in troper screaming, "I TOLD you to forget the witch!!" and nearly getting put out of the net cafe where she was playing. This game can account for some of the academic slip-ups this troper and her guy friends had during the term they were obsessed with it. * A few instances in a single game of Versus Dark Carnival in L4D2 first was while, playing as the Survivors, we hear a witch near the end of the Barns. I turn the corner only to have a Smoker (one of my friends) standing behind the Witch and pull me... I still managed to crown her, doing 1070 damage in one well-placed shotgun blast before I got roped fully. Second, in the same instance after the gates had opened (maybe 3 minutes after the aforementioned instance), Nick went down, with the player telling us to get the hell out of there - cue me throwing a MolotovCocktail in front of the gate to ward off the incoming infected while our teammates covered my getting him on his feet. They book it as he finishes standing up, avoiding spitter goo, as they do (me and Nick were trapped on the near side, allowing him to heal). We all make it to the finish. Then, in the Finale, all of the players but my friend had abandoned the other team, so I swapped (even though my team had only not completed 1 level so far) out of pity. The 3 teammates I'd left behind wound up wiping shortly after the first tank spawn, while my newly acquired team (myself, the friend, and 2 Pugs) finished it entirely. I couldn't help but joke that without me, things just fell apart. * I got multiple Stories tell, so here it goes ** The first time a cr0wned a witch. What happened was that I was a n00b at this game at the time. I'm playing with these dudes who know everything about the game and where teaching me and stuff like that. Anyways, they all die, so it up to me, and I meet a witch blocking a way I have to go. Lucky, I saw her from a distance, but I knew I was suppose to go that way. I had an auto shotgun with me, and well, I was afraid of having to start ALL over on the campaign, so what do I do? Shoot her about 5 times screaming "DIEBITCHDIEDON'TKILLME!!!! AGG!!" Then I notice I killed her with about 2 shots. Notice the achievement "cr0wned" pop up. ** Dead Air on Expert on the one where you have to get back on the rooftops (2nd level I think). Now then, I don't play on Expert, but one of my friends invited me to play, so I went ahead and joined. I'm sticking with the group, and hear the witch music and her crying. I start freaking out and wondering where she is, and I hear that someone's angered her. i look over in the room by me and there she is. Cue me running like a pansy trying to get to the saferoom (we weren't that far from it) when I start panicking and accidently fall out a window. I get downed and she jumps out the window too and kills me. My response: "Witch wins [[MortalKombat Flawless victory. FATALITY]] Cue everyone laughing their asses off because of what I said. * I remember my first versus match on The Passing. A Boomer dropped out of nowhere five seconds after we left the car, vomitted on us, and ran off without a scratch on him. All I had to ask was "What the hell

just happened." * [[{{Tropers/Kadorhal}} I]] had mentioned this somewhere else here before, but I can't find it now: I played "The Parish" with a trio of British friends, one of whom normally [[{{Griefer}} intentionally sets off car alarms]] but decided for that one game that he wasn't going to do so. We proceeded to accidentally set off ''every car'' in the impound lot in the third map. ---TAAAAAANK! TAAAAAANK! RUN ''AND'' SHOOT BACK TO [[Left4Dead LEFT 4 DEAD]]!!!! ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LeftFielder This page is now about pickles. What's your favorite kind? I like pelicans. ---* This troper remembers running down a slope, then being told "Stop right there!" then told to do five jumps. Doing six jumps resulted in having to do a "minus jump" and the conversation turned into [[ResignationsNotAccepted time vortexes changing time and making people soldiers all their life]] and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking threesome sex with]] [[InterspeciesRomance a shield bug-]][[MindScrew on your finger?]] * ThisTroper remembers a topic which could have been popular, but on the ''second'' post was abruptly changed to be about trees. It lasted up to the full 500 posts, and was then continued for another 250 posts in a new topic until a mod spoiled our fun. * This troper is a member of an RPG board that has a separate thread, called Vampire Jesus, that ''is'' its left field (said left field is now about the size of the outfield at the Polo Grounds). at least once a day, someone recommends that a discussion in an out-of-character thread be taken to VJ. * To go ''way'' back to the topic of threads that get off topic, this editor once saw a thread on the Wizards of the Coast message boards that started on determining the alignment and colour of a half blue dragon red slaad, then degenerated into a heated argument over whether or not you could make a pair of ten-foot poles by purchasing a ladder and cutting it into pieces. Also, when it looked like they would finally get back on topic, the ''same two posters'' began to bet large amounts of money on whether or not one could close an iron pot. ** Could they? * [[{{alliterator}} This Troper]] on the message board for [[http://www.marsinvestigations.net MarsInvestigations.net]] (where the articles would get edited) once saw a thread about the FAQ degenerate into being about ''Rosencrantz And Guildenstern Are Dead''. Heads. Heads. Heads. ** Hmph. ''Pragmatism.'' Is that all you have to offer? *** You seem to have no concept of where we stand! * The Hookie Dookie Panic forums went left field by second post. One guy announces he was going on a trip, and the others (including

myself) start a literal flame war. Other fine points include no use of Dragon Skin armor, burning bunnies. Hell! I threw facehuggers on people in the Christmas thread. * This troper belongs to [[http://forums.khaoskomix.com this]] webcomic forum where for reasons unknown this happens to almost every thread. One of the worst offenders started out as a complaint about a disease, discussed similar diseases for about 2 pages, then derailed onto the importance of caffeine, sleep and food, people's avatar images, and finally which fictional deity is cooler or could kill the others. ** This troper used to be a top poster and doesn't remember that thread. Elaborate? * On a NaughtyTentacles message board a troper other than this one frequents, a thread in the "find someone to set up a scene with" forum was derailed by the question of whether a a she-male [[HornyDevils succubus]] would actually still count as a succubus, technically count as an incubus, or be something else like say possibly an omnibus. ** Technically the demons known as 'Succubi' and 'Incubi' are named not after gender but position ('lies below' and 'lies above') so a shemale of that demonic type would be named based on what position they took during coitus. 'Lies beside'? ** MadeOfWin. *** Wow, those [[http://images.asia.ru/img/alibaba/photo/51686317/Omnibus.jpg omnibuses]] are pretty damn sexy. * This troper finds that on her home forum, MontyPython quotes are an excellent way to change the subject randomly when a topic has [[YouHaveOutlivedYourUsefulness outlived its usefulness.]] Or [[RuleOfFunny when it hasn't...]] * This troper likes plain old dill pickles. Sorry, fancy kinds. ** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9lmQFB_fDc "!selkciP tohs I !selkciP tohs I !selkciP tohs I"]] * There was this one forum where somebody completely forgot the {{MST3K Mantra}} and talked about [[SonicTheHedgehog Rouge the Bat]]'s fate in [[MarioAndSonicAtTheOlympicGames a crossover minigame collection]]. [[SnarkBait As you'd imagine,]] [[{{Narm}} nobody took him seriously,]] so what did we do? Took the thread in completely different directions, of course! * [[{{Nine}} This troper]] frequents [[http://forums.megatokyo.com/ this forum]] where certain threads can end up going into tangents, like photography or even different types of meat. One of these forumgoers is actually called [[MeaningfulName Tangent]]. * There is a thread in the [[strike:EGS]] Mayhem board that went offtopic in it's ''first'' post. It's still running, at around 2000 pages. ** Closer to 3000 by now. * This troper frequents a message board for fans of a certain band. A running joke is that by the fifth page of any topic, it will have degenerated into either 1) debates about which member was better looking when (said band just passed the decade mark), 2) natter about Harry Potter, or 3) politics. Some threads can make it to ten pages of comments without falling into Off-Topic Hell, but not many.

* There was a thread on a forum [[{{Azvolrien}} this troper]] frequents which went off topic on the third post. Appropriately, the thread was called 'too easily distracted'. * This troper saw a thread with the first post about abortion turned into a thread about beans in chili in the second post, probably to avoid a FlameWar. Oddly enough, that thread wound up lasting longer than most flame wars did. * A ''SuperSmashBros Brawl'' forum site began a thread on tiers, which eventually degenerated into reply after reply based on the [[MemeticMutation/VideoGames meme]] "That (X) is a pretty cool guy. eh kills (Y) and doesn't afraid of anything." * [[http://www.badmoviezone.com/ The B-Movie Message Board]] has specified topics for this, the "Random" threads. That doesn't prevent it happening to other threads, but it helps. * This page is now about people who do this in real life. Like me. I think it comes with being a bit of a CloudCuckooLander. Have you ever noticed how when you're going home from somewhere, the songs on the radio stations always sound less upbeat and more mellow? ** Or how in the winter, whenever a Beach Boys song comes on, the air seems to feel a little warmer *** Do their Christmas songs count? * [[{{Shini}} This troper]] has been accused of being this repeatedly, but most often, it's because she's a bit of a Cloudcuckoolander who can do a Seven Degrees of Kevin Bacon with all kinds of topics. ** speaking of which, why Kevin Bacon? Why not Miss Piggy? *** Seven degrees of Miss Piggy Bacon? You are a sick, sick troper. ** Also, it's ''six'' degrees of separation, not seven. * At a forum ThisTroper goes to, on the local Spam Boards rule list, Rule 'Train' states "All spam threads must be derailed. It's law." And the rule was a quote of something that ThisTroper had said. * [[{{Yoshi348}} This troper]] remembers one instance in which a thread that was definitely starting to go into a political FlameWar was spontanouesly and intentionally shut down by a bunch of people posting as much {{Squick}} as they could find, all out of the blue. It was ''glorious'', somehow. ** Also, this same troper wonders why TroperTales still use the ThisTroper conciet even though it's all about personal experiences. This troper now demands discussion here about this subject. * Awkward zombie threads often fall under this. http://www.awkwardzombie.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1494 that thread used to be about burn after reading * This troper has gone to a couple of forums where the acceptable method of stopping an unpopular poster is to post the lyrics to Linkin Park songs one line at a time. * A forum this troper used to frequent explicitly had a thread called "Random Thoughts and Ideas" which was explicitly for these random kinds of postings. The thread reached a truly epic 1000 pages before the forum was hacked and it was lost to history. Another forum she visits does something similar, only theirs is called "Random Neuron Fun." ** In a more straight usage, a thread originally about funny game screenshots on the same forum degenerated into a discussion of weird

foreign delicacies. After it got back to the topic of screenshots, it fell apart again into a debate about the merits of {{Shipping}}. * [[PaulPower This troper]] does it ''all the time'' and considers it a fundamental character trait. But enough about me, let's talk about hamsters. * This troper attends an imageboard for comics where a thread was derailed by a single mispelling that spawned a rather large Velociraptor who solves crimes along side his french maid. Also, it went from religion in comics to sex with Mary poppins in about 100 posts, with 4 or 5 topics in between. * This troper was around when the accepted way of dealing with trolling on a particular board was to talk about waffles and post recipes for them. Most of the recipes were quite good, too. ...this page is now about waffles. (#) ** These ones got peanuts 'n' soap in 'em! * [[{{Hinoa}} I]] tend to do on purpose in order to derail a sucky thread, with my most common left fielder being "this topic is now about pants, and why we hate them." ** [[http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/shropshire/7585098.stm Lloyds apparently doesn't like pants]]. * [[JethroQWalrustitty This Troper]] was having a discussion on... something on a forum, but at the same time, was discussing wherther there was any Black Panther pop music alongside the original topic. In case you wondered, none that TT and his friend could think of. [=MC5=] came closest. * This troper tends to ''be'' the LeftFielder. Admittedly, more in a chat context than a forum one. * [[MightyKombat This troper]] can proudly proclaim that the [[http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/gentopic.php?board=2000381 Naruto board on GameFAQs]] is NOTORIOUS for this. For example, Captain_Luke, KisAtchi, ChetleyDew, [[CloudCuckooLander LightningHero]] and many others. For eample, a topic discussing whether [[{{Naruto}} Pein]] was broken suddenly made like a train and got derailed VERY badly into a flame war about whether Kakuzu damaged Kakashi with a lightning attack or not. This troper was left wondering "What do Kakuzu's Gian attack and Kakashi's gloves have to do with Pein being broken?" ** A Flame war can also derail a topic pretty fast enough if it's started by [[SmallNameBigEgo Yamato77]], who literally thinks he's the best debater EVAR. Hell, ANY single VS topic at all can end up in flames faster than you can say "Only [[TheKingOfFighters Kyo Kusanagi]] can start forest fires!" ** And [[ItGotWorse It just got worse]], ladies and gentlemen. This troper once again braved the GameFAQ Naruto boards and noticed a topic on whether Pein/Pain was a rip off of Gaara before the Timeskip or not. By the SECOND page, Topic Derailment happened so fast it could have outstripped {{Sonic The Hedgehog}}. By the SECOND PAGE ITSELF, they were talking about Chocobos, topless girl photos and who was the biggest e-bully on there. You read it [[http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/genmessage.php?board=2000381&topic=47 255011 here]], ladies and gents, a Naruto topic gets derailed so badly, it made [[MightyKombat This Troper]] LOSE FAITH in humanity. If one is brave, one can check out the

[[http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/genmessage.php?board=2000381&topic=47 255011 beginning of the decline of humanity as a competent species here]] ** Would you believe that what you thought had gotten worese [[ItGotWorse GOT MORE WORSE?]] [[http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/genmessage.php?board=2000381&topic=47 303981 This topic]] What went wrong with it? At first it was this entirely innocent discussion about what would happen hypothetically if Kakashi Hatake had two Sharingans and Uchiha blood. One post onthe first page was worrying but by the SECOND PAGE, THE SECOND FREAKING PAGE OF THE GODDAMN TOPIC, it was now about black people and the history of racism. Despite many tries by the posters who remembered what the damn topic was about in the first place, in the end, the mods locked it and the Topic Creator had to make ANOTHER topic with the exact same name and descriptio. Yes, [[ItGotWorse it got THAT BAD]]. There's a reason why [[MightyKombat This troper]] only uses the site for [=FAQs=] now. * I have an interesting example ({{NSFW}} text in spoilers) A thread on 4chan, a guy asked [[spoiler: "When I took a shit, I got up off the toilet and saw yellow liquid in the bowl. I didn't piss, should I be worried?]] but the image he posted with it was of a train. The next poster said "Wait, hold up. Is that train real?" The next poster said "I [[spoiler: fucking]] love trains! Posting a picture of another train. The guy after him "This thread is now about trains" Some 50 posts later the OP breaks up the train related discussion with a cry of [[spoiler: "Just tell me why there's yellow liquid coming out of my ass!"]] to which the next poster said "Not while the issue of the train is unresolved!" ** Here's proof: [[http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/trains.jpg]] * This troper is pretty much the embodiment of this trope, seeing as his mind works on two tracks. He will always have two streams of thought, and both of them will be very hard to move. It is why, after five minutes analyzing Watchmen with a friend, he completely diverted the discussion into a discussion about Deathnote. * One thread on the Geist-Panik forum went from discussing the current comic, to a necromancy argument, to a necromancy fight, to bashing [[Twilight]]. The thread has pretty much derailed, crashed horribly, and exploded. * One particularly hated troll at a board I visit became the victim of this. All of the regulars got so tired of his crap that any thread he posted would immediately be derailed, and everyone else would go along with the derailment, while the rest of the board remained on topic. Good times. * [[JET73L This troper]] tries to avoid it on internet fora, but he and his entire family are {{Left Fielder}}s in regular conversation. Talking with a particular person, the entire conversation can get so far out of left field that it falls off the top of the bleachers behind the right foul line, keeps going to the next town, and ends up in that ballpark where the left fielder ''there'' tries to throw it in for the out. Metaphorically. Please excuse any incorrect baseball terminology.

* [[http://www.tcodforums.eeveeshq.com/showthread.php?p=368732#post36873 2 This]] used to be about a mock-write contest thing. [[http://www.tcodforums.eeveeshq.com/showthread.php?t=9122 This one is still going.]] * This troper is also notorious for doing this in real life and on IRC. It comes from a diverse set of interests, an overactive imagination, and a tendency to be thinking of half a dozen things at once. He's gotten blank stares from many of his classmates, all of his family members, and most of his friends at at least one point. It doesn't help that he tends toward cloudcuckoolander, so not only is he lobbing things out of left field, they're coming from vast, untapped reserves of left field. A prime example was a lengthy discussion of One Piece that diverted into penguin mating habits by way of Greek mythology. No, I don't even know how these things are connected. * This Troper is horrible to talk with in chats/conversations because she tends to go onto a WikiWalk without any of her friends knowing and then randomly spouting whatever was on her mind that only somewhat relates to the topic, but to her it makes perfect sense. She wonders why her friends put up with her. * This troper and her friends have been known to do this, though normally only to each other. The ultimate Left Fielder moment, however, has to go to a friend of my cousin's boyfriend. My aunt (the mother of the cousin) was at a party to meet said boyfriend for the first time. The friend walked up to her and, without so much as introducing himself, said "So...what do you think of midgets?" * One thread on Facepunch randomly went from "Generally just Fucking creepy stuff thread" to chain posting lyrics from the theme song of TheFreshPrinceOfBelAir. I joined in [[RuleOfFunny for the hell of it]]. (Un)fortunately, it was broken when someone posted "Stop." [[http://www.facepunch.com/threads/963016-Generally-just-FuckingCreepy-Stuff-Thread?p=28636591&viewfull=1#post28636591 The first post of the chain]] Go back to [[LeftFielder Everything Is Better With Monkeys]]. * I disagree. Monkeys don't make very good pets. Potatoes, on the other hand... ** I ate a potato once. It was okay. I would much rather have been playing Boggle, though. *** But Boggles taste awful. **** Not with a little salt. ***** I prefer dill. It makes everything taste nice and tangy. ***** See, I prefer bread-and-butter. Unless we're not talking about pickle chips. Thick, crunchy slices of pickle, that is, not salt-andvinegar crisps. Say, are you the troper in the main section who was talking about liking dill pickles? Must remember to check the edit history before too long. ****** [[TheAngryVideoGameNerd Shit Pickle. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit pickle. Pickle pickle pickle, shit pickle.]] ****** But why check history when you can have a GuideDangit? ****** [[NoIndoorVoice WHAT'S GOING ON?!]] ******* Just a game of baseball, [[WhosOnFirst also your name is now]] [[IncrediblyLamePun The Doctor]]

****** Now see, I like pickles well enough and all, but not as much as I love olives. God, I fucking love olives. Who else loves olives? ******* Are cherries a kind of olive? If so I like olive pie. ******* Well, they both have pits. ******* Tar also has pits. So Tar's a kind of olive then? ******* I hear Egypt is nice this time of year. ******* You hear wrong. Antarctica's where it's at. ******* It's cold and very blue there. Speaking of blue, if someone has heterochromia, what do they put down as their eyecolor on their licenses? ******* They would put [[MindScrew Banana]]. ******* Why Banana? Why not Plantain? ******* Because everyone loves Bananas, where as Plantains are an aquired taste. ******* I don't like bananas :( ******* Have you tried different kinds? My favorite are tangerines. ******* Tangerines are good. A cat is fine too. ******* And speaking of cats, aren't the clouds lovely? ******* NO. ******* Well, I know SOMEBODY who isn't getting any cookies. ******* Good. I wanted cake. ******* But [[{{Portal}} the cake is a lie!]] ******* OrIsIt? ******* [[ItGotWorse and speaking of cake...]] ******* [[OverlyLongGag ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!!]] ---<<|TroperTales|>> %comment% Man, was this even worth it? It's not like there was much content to separate this from...

LegacyCharacter * This troper has played several versions of Pokemon, and has always''always''- named the FLY-er quasi-starter [[{{Redwall}} Warbeak]]. * [[PentiumMMX2 This troper]] tends to recycle names for his characters in various games; with [[FullmetalAlchemist Edward]] and [[PokemonSpecial Crystal]] being among the most used. * This troper has a weakness for one of his characters in particular and often uses her in fantasy settings, dating all the way back to Baldur's Gate 2. Her personality and appearance always shift ever so slightly from game to game to fit the setting and my own evolving tastes. At this point she hardly even resembles the character she started as - but by now, she's an old friend. * In a real life case, there was a stray black cat that would come to our house that we would feed. We named it Vincint (yes, after the TimBurton film) and he was, seemingly, very old and was.....ugly as sin. One winter later, he stopped coming. We assumed that he died in the cold, but a few months later, a new cat came along who looked almost identical to Vincent, but was thinner and younger looking. We decided that this was this cats stray child and has earned the name

"Vincint Jr." * ThisTroper's name is Samuel Richard James III,from his father who was a Jr.One thing this troper has noticed,was that most of the generation all have had [[ChaoticGood problems with the law,but are in their own right,good and kind people.]] * In my Pokmon games, I will ALWAYS catch a Farfetch'd(well, in the games it is in)and call it [[MemeticMutation Leekspin]]. * Does that fact that this troper and his uncle are almost exactly alike? * In a World of Darkness game, in a medieval Setting that this troper GM-ed, the characters were the son of a nobleman who have the skills, but won't inherit since he wan't the first-born. A priest of huge Inteligence and strong faith, a nun who was a pastiche of [[buffy The Slayer]] and... a 500 years old witch. Of course, the witch was a legacy character. None of the players didn't knew that. None of the players still don't know that.

Leitmotif * This troper once got an impromptu leitmotif as any time he'd come into a room where his freinds were one would queue up a loop of the opening riff of Crownless by Nightwish. Hilarious in that one time he actually managed a Kramer slide into the room as it was playing. * "White Shadows" by Coldplay describes this troper's life to a dot. As such, it's become his leitmotif and favorite song. Funnily enough, it annoys his almost-girlfriend to no end. * This troper and his friends once decided to do a little series of plays where they would interpret original characters but with their own personalities. We also got to choose or own leitmotiff. Mine? [[CowboyBebop The Real Folk Blues]]. * This Troper's leitmotif is the Russian song"Song of the Volga Boatmen" becaus of its sullen, powerful tempo and the {{Determinator}} lyrics. * RayAyanami, at any given time, has at least one song he thinks of as his theme song. For 2009 (or at least the Spring 2009 semester; this troper is quite indecisive), his theme song is [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8DJIO9X498&fmt=18 "Days"]] from ''Pop'n Music''. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXeDqyOwmoM&fmt=18 "Unlimited"]] is a runner-up and will probably be his Fall 2009 theme. * In a case of SoundtrackDissonance with This Troper (A pacifist), [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vAga2AjfZlg The God Hand Credits song]]. Mostly because my wrath, while not violent can be [[TheChessmaster Somewhat like the various forms of killing in the song]] * AstraKiseki doesn't tend to notice themes, but fuck, [[{{Touhou}} Voyage 1969]] and [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_gHaxtMwzU Heut is Mein Tag]] are... pretty damn fitting for her sense of awe and hope. * A [[RunningGag recurring topic]] on a forum this troper goes to involves thinking of theme songs to associate with us or with characters that [=RPers=] use. A common selection for me is the instrumental version to "It Doesn't Matter" from [[SonicTheHedgehog Sonic Adventure]].

* It's quite easy to tell when my school's resident BunnyEarsLawyer is coming - for a few minutes beforehand you hear him singing "Happiness Is A Warm Gun." * LadyNorbert is very close to her neighbor's teenaged grandchildren. For some reason, anytime she's driving and has one or both of them in the car with her, Daughtry's "Feels Like Tonight" will come on the radio at least once, usually more than once. (The first time they all went on a day trip together, they heard it four times on different stations.) * With me, it's more of a Leekmotif.God, Leekspin is like my signature.That and Vamo'Alla Flamenco. * This Tropette always has songs from CharlieAndTheChocolateFactory [[EarWorm stuck in her head]], and sings them ad naseum. * [[AXavierB This troper]] constantly hums [[MonsterClown Dimentio's]] theme from ''VideoGame/SuperPaperMario''. He also likes to sing ''Poor Unfortunate Souls'', ''The Phantom of the Opera'' and ''Bust Your Windows'' randomly. * This troper is listening to the late great Warren Zevon's "Lawyers Guns and Money" right now and it is better than sex. * [[{{Lemurian}} This Troper]] experimented with background music during him and his friends' last round of DarkHeresy. After a few rounds, our Inquisition-group's leitmotif was Judas Priest's Hellrider. And yes, it was [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome awesome]]. * [[{{Crion87}} This troper]] has the song ''One Second of Insanity'' by The Butterfly Effect (an Australian band) as the theme song for his adolescent years. He also has a number of theme songs for various people in his life, mostly due to mental association: ** His father: "If I Could Fly" by JoeSatriani (he remembers his father enjoying hearing the song on the CD) ** His OlderThanTheyLook [[{{DragonLady}} Eurasian]] [[{{TheFundamentalist}} fundamentalist Christian]] ex-girlfriend: "Deceiver" by Disturbed (he was seduced by her under false pretenses) ** His current girlfriend: "The One Thing I Know" by Kate MillerHeidke (he had an epiphany about that song upon hearing it and realised that he should stay) * Unwell by matchbox 20 is this Troper's. It's...fitting. ** [[{{onyhow}} This troper]] too...he thinks. * This troper often finds himself humming Karl Jenkins' version of [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RirEqehfsg&feature=related Dies Irae]]. * [[ARandomSerf This troper]] tried to figure out leitmotifs for himself and his friends a while ago. He ultimately decided that his was [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGmEPp28QOg A Nightmare Before Kekfa]]. * [[{{Superslinger2007}} This troper]] puts [[DarkKnightTrilogy the Joker's music]] to [[HigurashiNoNakuKoroNi alleged psychopaths]]. Quite fitting. ** His [[StarWars Vader]] CostumeCopycat character obviously uses the Imperial March. And then there's songs like "Welcome to My Life", "It Ends Tonight", and "No Easy Way Out". * This troper always plays IronMaiden's "The Clansman" (based on Braveheart) when a Senior of his goes with facepaint to cheer for his

team. For a "love story he didn't have", the troper used to play "LoveHurts" songs (including that one, of course). Ever since she started a relationship, it's "[[StarWars Duel]] [[OminousLatinChanting of]] [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotAwesome the Fates]]" (you need The Force at these times). He also associates some people with certain songs - best one being a really cute IceQueen with "[[TheRollingStones She's So Cold]]". * [[{{Midna}} This troper]] hums and/or listens to "[[TheLionKing I Just Can't Wait to be King]]" so often, it might as well ''be'' his leitmotif. * [[{{Brosandi}} This troper]] has two, one of which kind of petered out: I Will Possess Your Heart, by Death Cab For Cutie; and I've Got Your Number, by Passion Pit. The first one used to play everywhere I went: in airports, in cars, in shops, in restaurants- and would start as soon as I walked in the place. It was eerie. The second one has become a Lietmotif mainly because my best friend put it as his ringtone for my number, and eventually people started associating that song with my appearances. * This troper uses the third movement of Postcard from Singapore as her leitmotif. * [[MmmKay This troper]] made her leitmotif by entering her name on [[http://nosuch.com/music/matic.htm this site]]. It's pretty. * [[PentiumMMX2 This troper]] frequently changes his theme song to fit whatever is going on at the moment. A few examples include: ** When in a hurry: Bombing Mission -- ''FinalFantasyVII'' soundtrack ** When I'm about to have an epic showdown against someone in a multiplayer game: Champion Battle -- ''{{Pokemon}} Crystal'' * For a couple of years at college, [[MasterInferno I]] had a friend who would play a C diminished chord on the piano (music nerds know what I'm talking about) every time I entered the choir room. * This Troper's Letimotif is firmly Mozart's Turca Alla Rondo,and any variation of it.So much that it is shared with his Author Avatar [[CatsAreMean Zap]]. * In high school, this troper and a few friends assigned a leitmotif to a hard-ass history teacher. We would play 'End of All Hope' by Nightwish on our cellphones when he walked into the room to start class. He was a good sport about it, apparently aware of how demanding his curriculum was. * This troper has taken on Green Day's American Idiot as his personal Gospel. He leans on Jesus of Suburbia most of the time, but when he gets pissed off, you better watch out for St. Jimmy... * Whenever this troper sees [[DetractorNickname Darth Cheney]] on TV, he starts humming the Imperial March. * There was a boy in this Troper's class who was known for being rather intelligent. In history class, every time he answered a question three other boys would break into a barbershop quartet style "Ha! Ha! Ha! TOBIAS!" Unfortunately, this only really worked the first, spontaneous, time, as afterwards the boy doing the third "Ha" always seemed to be distracted and missed his cue. * This troper will always try to put in "Holding Out for a Hero", as performed by Jennifer Saunders, into the player when doing something crazy-stupid while playing her WorldOfWarcraft paladin.

* This Troper comes up with Leitmotifs for quite a few things. His personal Leitmotif is Schizophrenia by Jukebox the Ghost, and his friendship with the girl he has a ''HUGE'' crush on is Waiting on the World to Change by John Mayer, after she sang it while he played the youtube video on his laptop to make more people donate to our Make-AWish fundraiser (He also mumbled along a bit, and sang the lines he knew).~ :3 * This troper has many fitting Leitmotifs for her OCs, including Paralyzer by Finger Eleven (Kazuma), Alcohol by Barenaked Ladies (Thierry), Alejandro by Lady Gaga (Aki), and Yours to Command by Rupesh Cartel (Kartik). However, this troper's Leitmotif is any song by Flogging Molly, especially Drunken Lullabies. * This troper believes his to be similar to the [[MegaMan MM2]] boss battle theme. * This troper's footsteps occur exactly in time with the [[StarWars Imperial March]]. He hums it pretty much everywhere he goes. John Williams, how can ever I thank you? * [[@/KatanaCat This Troper]] doesn't have any specific song, but I often hum various cheery sounding themes from games and such. [[SonicAdventureSeries Believe in Myself]] and [[SonicTheHedgehog2006 Dreams of an Absolution]] are favorites, [[EarWorm as is the opening theme (or sometimes ending theme)]] for ''TokyoMewMew''. Off the game/anime theme, there is Beautiful World by Utada Hikaru, another favorite. It was far more specific in the past though: When I was about 9 it was Igor the Flying Fox from an environmental song CD, then I didn't have one, then for a while when I was 12 it was [[SonicAdventureSeries His World by Crush 40]], and then His World was replaced by Makenai ai Ga Kitto Aru by Yukie Nakama. * This Troper's Leitmotif is [[{{Scorpions}} Here I]] [[TheDrifter Go]] [[AloneInACrowd Again.]] * ThisTroper's friend was writing a book where all the characters had their own theme music. He considered putting in the introduction or at certain points in the book [[CrowningMomentOfFunny please listen to this song while read this part]] * This troper can honestly say that you'd recognise him a mile away because of his habit of humming songs rather loudly when he is walking. He has recently started using "Nightcrawler" by Judas Priest, although old favourites included "When The Wild Wind Blows" by Iron Maiden, "Rhapsody In Black" by Symfonia, "God Save The Queen" by The Sex Pistols and "For Whom The Bell Tolls" by Metallica. ---Go back to {{Leitmotif}}~ &#9834; ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LemonWackyHello [[redirect:TroperTales/IntoxicationEnsues]]

LemonyNarrator * One of my classmates wrote a story in which the narrator got in

arguements with himself. It was epic. * This troper tends to milk this for all its worth when playing ''FateStayNight''. Everything from a snooty British accent, to the occasional bad pun, to giving insulting replies to the characters before clicking to see what Shirou's actual replies are. * After many false starts and wrong turns in the search for a style, the style of [[ThomasCastle this troper]] eventually evolved into something matching this and, due to his recent turn into philosophy and oration, he can pull it off quite well nowadays. * When my theater troop did {{Assassins}} our Balladeer was played by a woman. At the end, she didn't get run off stage so much as chloroform'd and dragged off by the Proprietor, adding lots of UnfortunateImplications. [[CaptainObvious It was way creepy.]] * This troper has a distinctive writing style. Most of his stories has a male, main character overflowing with this trope. Their narration will be peppered with references, as though the story itself wasn't filled with enough ShoutOuts. This is mainly because this troper tends to embody this trope in real life. When asked to be the narrator for a play, characters are forced every 5 minutes to break the 4th wall to stop this troper from hanging lampshades all over, and snarking away. Again, because his occasional bouts of sesquipedalian loquaciousness and not-so-occasional willful destruction of the WillingSuspensionOfDisbelief. As such, this troper is thinking of doing an abridged series or two, but he lacks the patience and will to do so. That, and all the good ones have been taken, mainly by FullMetalChao and his friends. * Tropers/SunnyV does this in RealLife. She talks openly about tropes in her life, goes on strange tangents in her mind about events that happened months ago, and occasionally looks away from the person she's speaking to, in order to give the effect of [[PostModern speaking to the audience.]] ** I'm so glad I'm not the only one that does that. I was starting to worry. * Ironically, this troper has a friend who does this in her limes. She pulls it off though, talking to the reader and faking-out readers with promises of [[BoysLove smex]]... but then suddenly diverting the story in a "JK, they didn't fuck!" fashion... only so much cooler. * My brother frequently asks me to film his sporting events so he can watch them later and see how he did. When he watches them he ends up paying to much attention to my [[LemonyNarrator awesome commentary]] than the footage * One of this troper's stories features a female example of this. She mostly exists to get the characters back on topic, admonish them for [[NoFourthWall breaking the fourth wall]] yet again, or to point out [[GenreBlindness how stupid they're being]]. She also balances out the madness of [[AnthropomorphicPersonification the Story herself]] and [[AuthorAvatar the Author]]. ---It should be most interesting to note that returning to the [[LemonyNarrator main article]] is a common activity performed by tropers who finish reading TroperTales. Whether this is some impulse brought about by evolution, or the machinations of a [[HPLovecraft

Blind Idiot God]] who isn't actually that blind or idiotic, is up to speculation by the only beings capable of comprehending such a grand cosmic mystery: the [[OmniscientCouncilOfVagueness Council of]] [[EverythingsWorseWithBears Ursa]]. Unfortunately, they really don't have the time to ponder on such pointless things as the compulsive activities of such primitive primate species. They're too busy [[ThirtyGambitPileup plotting against each other]] for control of the world rabbit supply. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LesbianJock * At this troper's school, the head coaches of the men's and women's volleyball teams had been together for years. It was the school's best-kept secret. ** Wait, so were both of the coaches women, or was the female coach in the closet about being straight, or was it just a typical secret office romance type thing? *** Both coaches were women. Boys' volleyball was a club sport, so the assistant coach for the girls was the head coach for the boys. Didn't stop us from being among the best in the nation... * ThisTroper. I swim and I practice Taekwondo. * The swim team. Its a breeding ground of HoYay and LesYay, just because of the fact that there are people walking around in skimpy clothes during early morning practices where inhibitions are nonexistent thanks to sleep deprivation. I also sense some [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean funny business]] going on between the two female coaches. * Girl's hockey teams are also breeding grounds for LesYay. You've got a {{nakama}} of well-muscled, athletic ActionGirl types, and regardless of who's actually lesbian/bisexual, there's occasional funny business to go with their general all-American (or all-Canadian (or all-European)) wholesomeness. (And by association, this troper's Girl Scout troop was made up of lesbian jocks, bisexual art students, AmbiguouslyGay genki girls, and poor, confused asexual me.) ** Dang, that kind of {{nakama}} sounds familiar...Are you [[Tropers/SunnyV me?]] ** Jealous. My Girl Scout troupe was totally lame compared to ''that''. * My sister plays for the local girls football team. It is a well known but attempted to keep hidden fact that about two thirds of the women's team are lesbians, with each other, sometimes all at once in the locker rooms. The funny thing is the way the girls try to keep this knowledge from their parents. * My high school had an example of the ButchLesbian P.E. teacher subtrope: while it was highly rumored, and said teacher fit the stereotype appearance, a certain incident made me give it more thought. One day when going to a math class, I came across the P.E. teacher and the math teacher (similar in looks), and the former joked to me that she had repeatedly asked out the latter to no avail. I'm

not sure how much truth there was to it, but joking or not, I heard no real sarcasm to it. (And admittedly I was a little more concerned why I, a very confused girl at the time, was the one told...) * My middle school gym teacher[6th and 7th grade; i was in band for all of them but it made me exempt from 8th grade gym due to schedule constraints] is a lesbian[yes, she fit the stereotype]. Thus, she is not allowed in the girls' locker room. And, turns out, the other middle school gym teacher molested his daughter and other students. Yeah. Clearly, the latter is in prison or something. * This troper has had two sorta-experiences with this. A butchish lesbian in his high school creative writing class took ju-jitsu, but she wasn't a jock. More like a nerd/artist who thought being able to fight would be useful. And his girlfriend, while neither butch nor a lesbian, works as a pasta chef and has noticeably muscular forearms. One belligerent customer accused her of being this because of them. * At my school, the [[RugbyIsSlaughter rugby team]] has a token straight girl, [[TheLadette who has a]] [[EightiesHair mullet]]. I also once heard a rather amusing statement: "the only people allowed to address a group of girls as 'ladies' are female gym teachers." See, if you're the type of woman who gets really annoyed at being called a "lady", imagine a totally unladylike middle-aged gym teacher calling your all-female class "ladies" and see if you get annoyed. That's right, you don't. * I had a BrainBleach moment with the P.E. teacher at my high school. She was married, so there wasn't a lot of gossip about her. I went to the big college about 30 miles away, which was probably where the nearest gay bar was to my little home town. I find out it's a gay bar this way: I'm going in the bar next door, and coming out the other was said P.E. teacher and most popular girl in my class (who also went to the big college). Nothing very unusual about that, but the P.E. teacher was dressed way feminine, cleavage down to here, slit skirt, teased hair, etc. The popular girl had cut her hair short and was wearing a suit and tie. I guess we know who wears the pants in that relationship. * This troper has played soccer most of her life and nearly half of the goalies she's been on a team with she's later learned are lesbians. She wasn't really surprised. ** Well, they are pretty good at keeping balls out of their net. That's just good strategy right there. *** That's not how I'd expect it to go; the goalies are, after all, the only women on the field who ever have balls in their hands in soccer. * Averted here. I'm a very unathletic lesbian, but, in highschool, others would try to invoke this trope by picking me for team sports really quickly. They very soon found out that I'm a massive wuss and would get by ass kicked by the straight girl jocks who actually played the damn sports. Ironically, the only lesbian athlete I personally know is actually in one of the most stereotypically 'girly' sports imaginable - figure skating. ** Yep. Lesbian figure skater makes for a fun combination. But lots of pretty girls in various states of emotional distress and cute gloves is not a bad thing. Not at all.

* This troper's sister-in-law counts as one of these, despite being constantly annoyed by each other, and several fights (mostly getting my ass handed to me), sports is one of the few things we can agree on. * Heavily subverted at my school - the girls who do sports, especially field hockey, lacrosse, or cross country, are the stereotypically straight popular girls who all seem to have boyfriends. If there are any lesbian jocks here, they're closeted and don't fit any general characteristics of the trope besides liking sports and girls. The known lesbians (or more commonly, bisexuals) tend to be the crazy music/arts kids like myself. (The female gym teachers fit the trope much more closely, but nobody has any proof for them.) * The Evergreen State College Womyns Rugby Team (aka "The Evergreen Hellcats"). One of the best in the nation, utterly brutal on the field, and might have a token bisexual on the bench. The Queer Alliance was good at telling freshmen gay and bi women that the rugby games were good for scoring dates. ** Whoa, that's an awesome coincidence. I'll have to let my lesbian friend whose going there in the fall know that. ---Head on back to LesbianJock ladies, and I don't want any funny business in the locker room. <<|TroperTales|>>

LessDisturbingInContext * This trope's creation was inspired by an incident that took place while watching the first ''{{Spider-Man}}'' movie: Someone walked in on me watching it right at the final fight scene, and noted the shocking brutality of the scene. * One troper's mother walked in on ''{{Heathers}}'' during the shooting of the jocks in the woods, and was appalled by it, where she'd most likely have understood the over-the-top violence if she'd watched from the beginning. * This troper's mother was removed screaming from ''Pinocchio'' almost immediately when she was taken as a young girl. Why? They were let in early, with the previous showing still going on, and in the heat of the battle with the big angry whale. * This troper's mother walked in on her watching ''A Very Long Engagement'' during one of the war scenes. I told her it was a romance. * This troper almost gave up on ''{{House}}'' immediately after his first impression, since the cold open to "Love Hurts" portrayed Hugh Laurie as [[MagnificentBastard all bastard, no magnificence.]] * You want to know what's fun? Having your mother walk in on you watching ''DarkerThanBlack'' and explaining to her, after she hears Havoc's [[EatsBabies "drinking the blood of children"]] line, that it's ''not'' a {{Gorn}} show. ** What's even more fun is when you're trying to explain to your mother why you like it and that not everything you watch/read/whatever is sick and disgusting, only to have your little brother chime in,

"What about that girl [[PowerIncontinence burning all her friends and family to death]]?" Gee, thanks. ** Just look innocent and hurt and say "But that was hilarious!" Works for this Troper. * Nearly every time this troper has watched ''TheWall'', someone has walked in during the racier scenes (such as the "Young Lust" sequence), and I actually wish for once it could at least be during the more artful yet symbolic sequences instead, so they'd hopefully get a better impression of what the movie is like. * As a musical referrence, [[Main/{{The Beatles}} Strawberry Fields Forever]] was about a million times less creepy for this troper to listen to, once she learned that the words slowly being said at the end of it were ''not'' "I buried Paul" after all, but a very stoned John Lennon repeating "Crannn... berry... sauce...." over and over. * This troper had this happen when his mother happened to tune into the middle of an ''{{Inuyasha}}'' episode where the titular character went berserk and butchered a large number of bandits. Not only had they been built up as monstrous individuals, but the loss of the protagonist's self-control had also been foreshadowed. Combined with false preconceptions, the mother came to several inaccurate and disturbing conclusions. * {{Firefly}} piloted right before the pilot of John Doe. I watched both, but my mother was only interested in John Doe, so we watched it first. However, our DVR caught the tail end of the "The Train Job," so the first image of Firefly we saw was some guy being kicked into an engine turbine. ** [[CrowningMomentOfFunny How is that possibly a bad thing?]] ** [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome That scene should be what sold the series to your mother!]] * This troper's friend's mother had to come in during Robin Hood:Men in Tights when Robin is being forced to "loosen" his tongue, and also that scene in Slumdog Millionaire(you know which). * This troper has had experience with the roleplaying-related variation; walking around the neighborhood talking animatedly on my cell phone about characters' exploits rather alarms the locals, not helped by the fact that there's a lot of affectionately shocked exclamations of "oh, [[{{Watchmen}} Adrian!]]" as if the person being discussed is on the other end... * This Troper and her husband were discussing our spoiled, ill-behaved nephew while waiting for a cab. When we got in the cab, I was saying "Well, I was the one who pulled the gun out of his hand since you and your brother were too weak willed to do it!" Nephew is 6 and the gun was a toy that didn't belong to him and had been told repeatedly to put back. * This troper's had two instances of this. First, I was watching ClerksII for the first time, giggling at the profanity-laden rant spewed by Randal about how gay Frodo and Sam are in TheLordOfTheRings, and my father chose that precise moment to walk in. That was embarrassing. The second time was on devArt, where, thanks to a complicated in-joke with a friend involving a MSTing and a Current 93 song, I [[RapeAsComedy responded to her comment about a character getting raped with "LOL"]] and only realised later how this would look

to people who weren't in on the joke. Oops. * I was watching {{Paprika}}, and my mother walked in during the MindRape scene. I had to exaggerate my reactions of "How gross!" to stop her possible questions, and it worked. ** Are you me?! The same thing pretty much just happened, she walked in on the part when Chiba had been ripped out of Paprika's body and had the vine things wrapped around her... and going down her throat. While naked. "Oh mom! Wow what is even going on here! This movie is so bizarre *looks disgusted*" That took some fast talking, and that was when she was distracted by being on the phone. * This troper had to very nearly duct tape her best friend to a chair to get her to sit through the first 15-odd minutes of Elfen Lied. She loves the show now. * This Troper accidentally {{Squick}}ed out her sister while explaining ShugoChara. Apparently when I said "The villans steal people's [[OurSoulsAreDifferent eggs]]," she thought of something ''[[NoPeriodsPeriod ENTIRELY DIFFERENT.]]'' * This troper and her friends are all fans of GingaNagareboshiGin and GingaDensetsuWeed. The main character of the latter is named Weed (as in a wild plant). Sitting in a restaurant and discussing the shows, this troper made the comment, "I just really love Weed." A man sitting nearby suddenly looked up and gave our group an odd look. * There's a particular scene in a {{Crossover}} I'm writing where [[FullmetalAlchemist Edward Elric]] runs out of the infirmary at [[SoulEater the DWMA]], referring to [[MadScientist Doctor Stein]]: ** "If that guy touches my automail one more time, I'll sue for sexual harrassment!" * This Troper walked into the kitchen just in time to hear her dad say, "It lubricates the hardness!" It turned out he was talking about fat in ham. * A RealLife variation of this happened to me when I was still in school. My friend and I were asked to come up with our class assembly, and decided to make it an anti-violence-themed one with a staged fight (partly to show the stupidity of fighting, but really because she'd just learned how to perform stage fights in drama class and we wanted to show off). We were rehearsing the fight scene in the library, when a girl from one of the younger classes came in just as we'd gotten to the bit where I threw my friend against the wall. The look on her face before she ran out the room again suggested that she didn't know we weren't really fighting... (Thankfully, I think the Headmistress let her know what was going on before she panicked too much!)

LethalChef * Most of the time I'm alright with my cooking. Just don't eat the cherry torte. Or the ratatouille. * I once accidentally liquified a muffin. Yeah. ** [[FlatWhat What.]] *** That makes less than sense. How do you ''liquefy'' a '''MUFFIN'''!? **** [[BeyondTheImpossible Same here. Put a mini-muffin in a microwave for a minute, and...muffin puddle.]]

* Don't ask me how this was possible but this troper once filled the entire house with smoke while trying to make instant oatmeal. INSTANT OATMEAL! * When this troper was little, he and his sister would save the leftover melted icee we would share whenever we went to the movies. Afterwards, we would use the melted icee as a base for what we called "potions." We mixed in whatever we could find into it: ketchup, salt, baking soda, chocolate syrup, mustard, and anything else we could get our hands on. Then we both had to taste it... I'm pretty sure that both of us spat it out into the sink every single time, but we just kept on doing it... ** [[{{Tropers/Ventisia}} This Troper]] can cook nowadays, but my friend and I used to make... really weird foods when we were little, and something similar to that was something we managed to concoct once. It had ketchup, pickle juice, soap... and then we tasted it. I did something similar with my current friends at a restaurant just for fun not too long ago- we mixed all the dressings at the salad bar, salt, pepper, garlic butter... it actually wasn't too terrible after we tasted it, too. * This troper took a lot of home economics, but when you combine a smidgen of culinary knowledge with a self-admitted absent-minded professor mentality, it can and did lead to disaster. I actually added a quarter cup of salt to bread dough instead of a quarter teaspoon once. Yuck! * This troper's father has some pretty infamous dishes to his name -such as coffee cake containing actual ''coffee'' (both in ground and liquid form), charcoaled pancakes that looked exactly the same as the day they were first made when pulled out from behind the couch months later ([[ItMakesSenseInContext it's a long story]]), and cinnamonflavored chili con carne. (And not just in the "gentle dash of cinnamon" style. He put in cinnamon in ''place'' of chili, so it was really cinnamon con carne.) He's better now. Usually. ** Hey, the label on the cinnamon shaker ''suggests'' putting it in chili con carne. I've done so myself, and it tasted...more like curry than chili, but not bad. *** That kind of chili actually has a name, believe it or not -[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cincinnati_chili "Cincinnati-style".]] * A relative of this troper makes apple and Mars Bar sandwiches. ** Sounds delicious. Chocolate good. Caramel good. Apple ''good''. *** Mostly to prove that the "laws" of physics get a little more bendy in the kitchen, this troper regularly consumed yogurt sandwiches in junior high school. The specific brand of yogurt was of a fairly thick consistency, and the wheat bread seemed to absorb a good deal of the loose moisture. This troper has absolutely no idea what was going through his head when he invented the things, other than possibly "There are no clean bowls, but I'm hankerin' for some yogurt. There's some bread..." **** Someone else eats yoghurt sandwiches? Excellent! (Flavoured is especially good.) They laughed at me,oh yes,they laughed... then gagged. Fools. * Subverted: [[DarkInsanity13 This troper's]] friends seem to think she's a terrible cook, either due to her lack of care for all things

feminine, or due to the fear that she may have poisoned the food on purpose. Really, she's not...with desserts anyway. ** On the other hand, while accidental, her mother once put turmeric instead of cinnamon on an apple crisp she was making. Luckily, she realized her mistake and managed to wash it off. It still managed to turn out pretty good. ** Same troper's father once suggested her aunt was this as a joke when she served a punch with cream soda. They had only had the pink kind of cream soda, and so looked a little off. Said father commented "You know it's not a good sign when the host serves Pepto-Bismol before dinner." * This troper once tried to use a tortilla shell in place of a hot dog bun. Without changing any other components. It was ''awful'' and got thrown in the garbage half-eaten. (At least this troper was the only one who had to eat it.) * This troper wouldn't describe himself as Lethal, per se; it's just that other people don't seem to enjoy Scotch Bonnet peppers as much as he does. ** Now that's MY kind of cooking! I tried habaero peppers in an omelet once before, and most of the time my chili has at ''least'' three kinds of peppers. * This troper once put too much salt on his curry. He tried to balance it out by adding cinnamon. [[spoiler:It didn't work.]] On the other hand, he used to be infamous for enjoying bananas with hot sauce. * Dessert Pickles. That is all. * [[JapaneseTeeth This troper]] knows several people like this. My friend's father and brother have been known to make such monstrosities as fish-and-chocolate-chip waffles and jalapeno-fish-potato quesadillas. His uncle has also been known to eat pickles...dipped in pudding. ** His mom has also told him about an incident where a Home Ec student used a full bulb of garlic rather than a clove. The room apparently took several days to air out. *** This troper did that, too. I didn't know that a clove was what you called the little pieces inside the bulb. He was making pasta sauce and put the whole damn thing in. Apparently, garlic is an EXCELLENT preservative. Mold won't touch anything with that much garlic in it. Apparently, it's not fit for human consumption, either. It's still in the fridge for some reason, though. * [[AckSed This troper]] used to believe that being forced to eat your own cooking would make you a better cook. It doesn't. It does, however, lower your standards of food to a merely nutritional level i.e. "I'm pretty sure this won't kill me." and [[ExtremeOmnivore "If I can keep it down, it's food."]]. I restrict myself to following recipes or cooking stews, but I've slipped up even then - people still talk about the chick pea, mango chutney, banana and natural yoghurt combo I made that the book reassured me was "absolutely delicious". '''''Eeeent!''''' 'Course, preceding that was a sentence wondering why no-one else had come up with it before... ** Found the note I'd made right after I 'cooked' that monstrosity:"Don't ever make this again. Tastes and looks like vomit.".

** As words on the screen that doesn't sound so bad. Except maybe the chickpeas. *** The worst thing about it was the sweetness/saltiness of the mango chutney. Combined with the brown rice I was eating it with,it was haaaarruuuckk... sorry 'bout that,I'll get a shovel. * This troper, while making pancakes, once caused the batter bowl to melt while the cakes failed to assume properly coherent molecular bonds. I blame quantum physics. * Real-life example: this troper's husband. Confirmed by his family and close friends, because he absolutely refuses to cook anything for me. I don't want him to, either, not after hearing about the biscuits that came out resembling hockey pucks. * This troper's cooking abilities seem to vary from producing pretty good, perfectly edible food and creating something charred and unrecognisable. * This troper doesn't tend to add extra or incorrect ingredients by mistake, thankfully, but tends to be very forgetful of what proper ingredients should be included, or which instructions go when. For instance, said troper once forgot to add noodles to a dinner. A pasta dinner. A ''pre-packaged'' pasta dinner, with the bag of noodles sitting mere centimetres away from the pot. Cooking is therefore an infrequent activity, at least for anything beyond "microwave for three minutes and serve." * This troper is less known for being lethal for the QUALITY of his food, but instead the cooking. Please keep in mind most of these stories are from his childhood, but they include: Placing a metalrimmed plate in the microwave, a tupperware container on a stove top, forgetting to shut off the stove and filling the room with burning rice smell. Though he has one on his mother, who had a habit of placing eggs to boil, and wandering off to forget about it. Burnt eggs look STRANGE in that context. ** This troper set the electric kettle on fire. * Strawberry chicken. A few ''minutes'' later, it came back to haunt me. Horribly. * [[SeanTucker This troper]] tried to invoke this trope by making a chicken sandwich with such bizarre condiments as spinach dip, hot sauce, and Heinz 57. It was... actually pretty nice, even though it's probably a heart attack on two slices of bread. I call it the [[TengenToppaGurrenLagann Kamina]], because it is made of win and gar. ** [[AckSed This troper]] would like to introduce you to the Blowtorch sandwich: English mustard, piccalilli and salad cream/ketchup,with the other side sprinkled with malt vinegar. One bite will burn through the gummiest of blocked noses. A favourite of my childhood. * This troper cooked fish sticks once, or at least tried to. She messed them up, and she happened to cook them so badly even her dogs wouldn't eat them. * This troper's mother: ** once served egg soup for ten meals in the space of a week. ** thought bread topped with ketchup and Velveeta, then heated under the broiler, constituted "pizza". ** regularly made potato salad with Kraft Thousand Island Dressing instead of mayonnaise. To this day I '''hate''' Thousand Island.

* This troper has ruined cereal. Somehow, some way, ''cereal''. ** You added the milk first too, huh? *** It's not impossible; This Troper once tried to "drink" Cocoa Krispies out of a glass... I ended up drinking all the milk and having a soft, gooshy mass of cereal at the bottom. Yum. * This troper can make pizza pretty reliably. However, my last attempt at making cookies not only tasted like I imagine styrofoam does, but were a faint pink in the middle. None of the ingredients were red or pink. Then there was the time I screwed up instant pudding... ** I once had instant pudding come out rather badly (it remained a beverage). I blame the use of soymilk instead of dairy milk for that one. Thought it would work, but it didn't. Live and learn (and the cat helped consume the mistake). * Subversion: When he was 6, this troper got it into his head that a cake would be delicious if it combined all his favourite foods bizarrely, his mother endorsed this dangerous notion. This resulted in a normal chocolate cake... except it contained chicken and potatoes, amongst other things. He took it to school and fed it to his year one class... and it tasted good! Most likely mother convinced him to forego the extras, but she denies it. * Mustard + toast = disgusting. ** This troper with bizarre eating habits found this out the hard way. Although, in my defence, mustard, toast, gravy and cranberry jelly seemed like a good idea at the time.. * This troper does... wrong things. Like ketchup and toast. Or PB+J on garlic bread. Or a belief that butter and salt belong in black tea with the milk and sugar. Or tapioca pudding used as dip for corn chips. But those were ''okay''. This troper, however, doesn't want to '''talk''' about the time he tried to make fruit juice with a blender. It's not that I'm a bad cook- on the contrary, I do rather well, but I have occasional loose ideas about taste combinations. ** the PBJ on garlic bread sounds like it might be good, I love garlic bread. ** The butter+tea one might not be so bad either - some Tibetans put yak butter in their tea. The salt, however... * In junior high, this troper was friends with a girl who couldn't make Jell-O set. Eight years later she attended a wedding where this girl was a bridesmaid and had also made the cake. Naively, the troper thought her culinary skills must have improved to take on a project like that. They hadn't. * This Troper enjoys cooking and finds it fun...except she's no good at it. The only time I made something edible was my first try! Then everything went downhill. The most memorable screw-ups are as followed: ** Adding a cup of every ingredient in brownie mix instead of teaspoons and tablespoons. Those turned out as rubber stuck to the pan. Also got burned, me not the brownies. ** Scones that came out of the oven covered in mold, if that was really what that green stuff was. ** Making a souffle that came out as charred coating at the bottom of the ramekin. Got burned that time too. ** Accidentally letting the udon noodles boil for 12 hours.

** Breaking our top-of-the-line Kitchenaid microwave while trying to heat up a soft pretzel. ** Hell, she can't even leave the kitchen with a bowl of cereal with leaving behind a trail of Cheerios! *** This troper would like to know how on earth someone can ''accidentally boil something for TWELVE HOURS''??? * This troper comes from a long line of chefs and restaurateurs, and as such, she and most of her family members can cook quite well. Her ''sister'', however, is a notable exception. One of her most infamous stunts involves frozen pancakes; another time, she was warming oil in a pan. Said oil ''caught on fire'' because she had the stove up too high. Both times, she came close to setting the house ablaze, and she was officially banned from ever attempting to cook again after the last stunt. * This troper considers her spaghetti sauce to be the best ever. Others disagree. Apparently a whole chopped onion, three segments of garlic, a spoon of ginger and two teaspoons of pureed chilli per serve, plus a liberal dash of curry powder, with some tomato for colour and body is an acquired taste. ** ... THAT SOUNDS FUCKING DELICIOUS. ** [[ThisIsSPARTA I SECOND THAT MOTION!]] ** We have a motion and a second, all those in favor, DIG IN! Though I'd up the garlic to half a bulb... * This troper knows someone whose attempt to cook bacon ended up with repeated activations of the room's smoke detector, and a burning oil smell very like the one made by another friend's car. * This troper can cook competently, but also has an exotic taste for the bizarre, resulting in 'snacking' being done out of view of others. Note: When eating pickle stackers & whipped cream sandwiches, eat them quickly or the pickling juice will make the cream curdle. ** Above troper's family members are all wonderful gourmet cooks, but all suffer from the problem of occasional absent-mindedness. Like not paying attention to the amount of brandy going onto the banana's foster. (The house was sold with the black spot still on the ceiling.) Or, accidentally vacuum-sealing a pot shut. Or getting a necktie stuck in a pasta press. Or, her own attempt to read the side of a cup the wrong way around and spilling the contents on her feet. * I recall a story about my teachers daughter who had apparently put something other than cooking oil on some chicken. I don't remember what it was, but whatever it was, the chicken was bubbling and apparently poisonous. * This troper's mother almost ''butchers'' desserts. For example, her pavalova is as hard as a rock and dryer than the Sahara desert and her flan looks like roadkill and tastes like dirt. On some occasion she's been known to almost ''murder'' other meals as well such as dinner. Also his father has been particularly bad at making meals- especially breakfast, the cereal looking like it's melting and tasting like sludge being on example. * This troper is fairly competent at cooking. Except for that one time he underestimated the amount of chili pepper to put in pasta sauce. And that time he left the butterscotch chips in the hot cupboard. And that time he mixed up Celsius and Fahrenheit when cooking a lasagna.

* This troper's grandmother burnt nearly everything she baked or fried, including brownies. No, . * According to this troper's father, his grandmother (or my greatgrandmother) was the worst chef ever. She could screw up heating a can of Spaghetti-Os. Apparently, most of the problem came from when she'd take expired things and say, "Oh, it's fresh! ^_^" But she's somewhat justified in the fact that she spent part of her adulthood in the Great Depression, where she had to be ''happy'' to find anything to eat, expired or not. * ThisTroper is more or less average in cooking itself. Her problem is that she's got a shitty attention span and sometimes ''forgets'' she's left something cooking and goes make other things. Some days ago, she was so absorbed in other stuff that she forgot about the meat in the pressure boiler... * [[SpikyK This troper]] has managed to set ''instant ramen'' [[StuffBlowingUp on]] [[MadeOfExplodium fire]]. No, '''[[ I MEAN IT.]]''' He also always enjoyed a soft drink his family all referred to as "suicide"; Coke plus Diet Coke plus Mello Yello plus Sprite plus Dr. Pepper, occasionally with a shot of carbonated fruit punch, all preferably from a soda fountain. Now this troper wants some. Remind him to make it the next time he goes to a fast-food joint. ** Sheesh, and I thought my husband's Taco Bell drink mixture (Diet Coke, Baja Blast Mt. Dew, and Code Red Mt. Dew) was unusual! I'm also still puzzled by ''how'' you managed to set ''ramen'' on fire. *** Actually, suicide is Copyright 2008 by New Jersey. 2 12 year old boys on a college campus decided that if sodas can sometimes mix well, anything can. Not only did we mix Coke, Diet Coke, Mountain Dew, Red Mountain Dew, Water, Milk, Root Beer, Chocolate Milk, Lemonade, Tea, Coffee, and Fruit Punch. Not only did it look horrendous, but it formed a mousse like texture at the top, and may have created singlecelled life. He vomited, but I paid him for betting him to do it. *** I'm ''really'' not sure how I did it. I've never managed to do it again, either, but it still makes for a really interesting story to tell. And a good way to get out of cooking things! ** I drink combinations like that all the time. It has a taste of coke. *** Really? It always tasted more like one of the citrus sodas, to me. ** [[{{Tropers/Ventisia}} This Troper's]] friend mixes every single soda available at the fountain in equal parts when we go to get a Polar Pop. ** Iced tea and Sprite makes a pretty good combination. We call it an [[NoCelebritiesWereHarmed Aaron Pammer.]] * This troper is less of a lethal chef and more of an average one with huge fluctuations in quality. He's made well received oatmeal cookies, and most of what he cooks is edible, but he has been known to start fires in toaster ovens and burn even simple instant dishes. * When this troper was six, her and her brother made 'Eggs Ranchero' for Father's Day, but we had no salsa. Cue every pepper powder and hot sauce in the house going into two small eggs. The spice-eggs ratio was, I think, 8 to 1. My father dubbed them 'Poisoned Eggs' and we've made them with all the hot sauce we can find each year afterwards until my brother moved out and I started sleeping in until 2 in the

afternoon. Just thinking about it is making my lips start to tingle, actually. * This troper has on occasion managed to burn rice, but once when she tried to make chili con carne, she managed to burn chili powder in a hot pan, then added onions. This pretty effectively cleared the kitchen of all occupants. People were coughing for a good 20 minutes. * This troper is usually a pretty good at cooking and baking, but he has a fondness for doing weird-esque things, and also sometimes experimenting. Outtakes include lasagna that looked like porridge, yet tasted and felt mostly normal, more lasagna which this time looked normal, but now essentially one third of it was porridge, minced meat that tasted quite a bit like fish, a cake-ish thing that... well... looked FAR from normal, and tasted pretty weird too, and tip of the iceberg, steak that was dubbed a biological weapon by everyone who tasted it. The last one I claim was due to sabotage. * [[DesertDragon This troper's]] ex-boyfriend, bless his heart, was a HORRIBLE cook. In the eight months that we dated, he has managed to break this troper's good spatula ''while making pancakes'', literally burned soup, and made rice with the consistency of sand the first time and mashed potatoes the second. He made spaghetti that was okay once, considering that it was just tomato paste and meat. It wasn't long before this troper realized why he was often content eating ramen...uncooked. (In case you're curious, this troper can throw down in the kitchen. He gets it from his mama). * This troper's father once managed to burn ''mashed potatoes''! * This troper had burned soup, water (That kettle's bottom was glowing red by the time this troper got to it.), and ruined cheese 'n chips and instant coffee before. In this troper's defense, the can that the coffee came from doesn't actually say how much is too much. ** Subverted, this troper actually bakes things quite well. Strange. * Here's a subversion; this troper would be considered a good cook if she weren't so lazy and almost never does so. But played straight wherein she likes to 'experiment'. Apparently soy sauce ''doesn't'' improve the flavor of scrambled eggs; who knew? ** I'm not sure why that wouldn't work (I would try it), but I'll take your word for it. Of course, this comes from someone who likes soy sauce and grated Parmesan on popcorn. ** Wait, what? I love soy sauce and any form of eggs. Practically everyone I know does. Regional tastebud variations? * This troper's grandmother often remarked that eating burnt food would make your hair grow curly. Probably not coincidentally, she and all her children have curly hair. And an ex-gf, while the results of her cooking wasn't lethal, was dangerously accident prone in the kitchen. This troper had to disable the fire alarm anywhere she lived, but the food was excellent, provided no one had to evacuate during the process. * This troper was once at a camp where every group had to cook something. His group picked pan-fried chicken. Everything went well until the ''oil caught on fire'', whereupon somebody tried to cover the pan. After about half a minute, the flames were still licking around the edge of the lid, so another member of the group got impatient, dashed to the pan, and ''smacked the lid away''. The

resulting column of fire was about double the height of the nearest (one-floor) building. And after that, the chicken was still raw on the inside! (We dubbed it Chicken A La Hiroshima.) * [[LeighSabio This Troper]]. Can and will burn everything. I've burnt a grilled cheese sandwich, I've burnt franks in blankets, and I tend to have to ask how to do simple things like put water up to boil. * Pretty much ''any'' depiction of a school cafeteria in Western media is going to feature the products of a LethalChef. In this editor's experience, TruthInTelevision. ** And in this troper's, who at one point smashed a window pane with a BOILED POTATO! ** WeirdAlYankovic did a song about this, aptly called "School Cafeteria". Sample of the lyrics: "Today in the school cafeteria / They introduced a brand new malt / It's called boysenberry dysentery / Please pass the salt" ** Our chicken nuggets were always kind of bouncy. And you'd be lucky if the pizza even looked like pizza. ** Subverted with [[ManCalledTrue this editor's]] schools. Of course, it helped that the place was so crammed with ProductPlacement that there was a guy in a Red Baron mascot outfit walking around it one day. ** The food at my former elementary school once gave my friend ''food poisoning''. I could also kind of feel food poisoning. ** This troper credits the horrible cafeteria food at his elementary school for his ability to eat ''and enjoy'' just about anything, up to and including peanut butter, ketchup and hotdog sandwiches. It did put him off peas and sauerkraut for years, until he found out that they actually are good when ''properly'' cooked. ** This troper's elementary school once served a so-called "cherries jubilee" which looked delicious and tasted exactly like vomit. Also, the rice at the school was well known - not only was the ice-creamscoop-shaped mass completely solid and able to be lifted and turned upside-down with a fork in one piece, but it was often tinted with a ''neon greenish hue'' this troper had never seen before or since. ** This troper's Hall of Residence once served up a chilli. A couple of the students smelled it; one ate some. Then, to a man, the whole lot stood up and left the dining room in disgust. The Hall management offered a grovelling apology the next day. ** ThisTroper's uni cafeteria is an odd variation. On one hand, they sell decent sandwiches and coffee and the French fries are quite edible. On the other, the mashed potatoes and the chicken dishes... eeeeewwww! ** This Troper had the bad luck of going to a school where what the high school didn't eat that day went to the middle school the next. Thus, from fifth through eighth grade, we had soyburgers that you could stretch, load up with half-hard peas, and use as slingshots. And that was the ''best'' thing on the menu. ** This Troper and all she knows generally refer to the dining hall food as 'Doof' because it is the opposite of food. We're only half kidding. ** This Troper was nearly rushed to the hospital after discovering that the cafeteria soup station's "vegetarian corn chowder" contained

''shrimp,'' which she has a potentially lethal allergy to. The only person angrier than she was was the cafeteria's manager ... who shared the same allergy. ** This troper has quite a few stock jokes he used to make about the food in his schools' cafeterias. The ones he can remember right now are: *** Vegetables are supposed to be green, and meat should be brown. Not the other way around. *** How they classify ingredients: If it might be edible, they call it meat. If it's probably inedible, they call it a vegetable. *** The soup of the day: Cream of used gym socks. (This troper still has yet to figure out what that soup was supposed to be, but remembers that it was pale and smelled burnt.) *** Everything has the same flavor: Burnt. *** Also, on one occasion, this troper saw the cook taking out a tray of pizzas from the oven, ''with the plastic wrap still on''. ** At [[@/{{endlessness}} this troper]]'s university, the cafeteria is pretty much that. The rice is always extremely dry, the meat is either burnt or undercooked and is often extremely fatty, the vegetables taste strange, and there are urban legends of [[HighOctaneNightmareFuel body parts having been found in the food]]. * This Troper has no idea how to cook beyond "the directions are on the side of the box", but still manages to not set everything on fire. [[NoodleIncident Except that one time with the toaster. I wasn't even using it at the time, seriously!]] However, when he cooks rice and beans for himself, he likes to... experiment. Minced onions, salt and pepper, garlic, [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment onions]], [[FireBreathingDiner more chili and curry powder than is safe for human consumption]], and [[RuleOfThree more onion]]? Not actually that bad. [[{{Understatement}} Of course, he likes onions. Other people might not share said love of onions.]] In fact, [[{{Subversion}} he himself is hesitant to cook for anyone else... because he's afraid he'll overdo the spices, and someone ELSE will suffer for it.]] It's probably a good thing he's a BigEater, so he'll always eat his own cooking. * This Troper likes to drink Deit Pepsi and Lemonade, If mixed properly, it actually tastes okay, but too much lemonade and EEW!!! * A former girlfriend of [[{{Cobrafire}} This Troper's]] cousin accused me of being this despite the fact that I can cook almost anything when given instructions whereas she ''ruined every pot in my aunt's house trying to boil water''. * My dad once mistook a box of unsweetened baking chocolate powder for instant hot chocolate mix. The end result tasted more like chalk water than anything else. * This troper thinks every good cook is entitled to at least one major failure in the kitchen. ** Her mother's: something in a pot on the stove was burning so she dumped it in the sink. The burning stopped but the pot collapsed in on itself and had to be reheated before it regained its shape. ** Her brother: mixed up Celsius and Farenheit temperatures when making bread. ''The Joy of Cooking'' said the water for the yeast should be a hundred degrees, and it was. The bread was the texture of

a limp dishcloth. ** Herself: you probably don't need a whole package of Thai curry paste when making enough curry for two people. In her own defense, she found it quite tasty. Her mother ate two bites, followed by half a container of yogurt, and complained that her mouth was still aflame. * This troper's friend/charity case (long story) sometimes forgets how to cook and ends up eating undercooked ramen while talking about how delicious it is, and once made himself extremely ill by eating sloppy joe filling that he apparently couldn't tell was several months expired (think about what months-old sloppy joes look, smell, and taste like). His father isn't any better, and made the whole family sick by undercooking the Thanksgiving turkey while trying to grill it on a barbeque grill. ** I'm usually a pretty competent cook, but once found myself very nearly serving turkey sashimi at Thanksgiving (salvaged by slicing and microwaving). Come to find out if you're using an oven bag, you really shouldn't put the lid on the roasting pan, because the assembly doesn't heat anywhere near as quickly. * This troper was at a buffet restaurant with a bunch of friends, when one of us had the bright idea of mixing up all the sauces available (not just tomato and chilli, but soy, sambal (lots of peppers and prawn paste), hot sauce, and I think a little bit of garlic from somewhere). The resulting mess was used as a punishment for a subsequent 'guess the number' game. * [[MutantRancor This troper's]] father has yet to live down the time he put sugar into a pot of gravy he was cooking instead of salt. * While this troper's father is actually quite good (although his habit of preparing food he knows damn well his kids hate and then getting huffy when the compliments don't flow is a bit annoying), he will never live down the Napalm Curry incident. (Even though he insists the bottle was labelled "mild", it ended up ''infernal''. This troper is unapologetically hazy about that evening, but he seems to recall that an entire tray of ice cubes was used in the next half hour). * This troper is mostly lethal for forgetting about things on the stove, and is perfectly capable of putting something up to cook, and then going off to watch a movie for an hour and a half. Incidents include: ** Boiling eggs for an hour and a half, then having to chisel them out of the pot, and try to get them off the ceiling. Twice. ** Leaving a keilbasa in a covered pot of water, fortunately off the heat, to be found two days later. Mom screamed. ** The infamous Corned Beef Incident, which will remain a {{Noodle Incident}} to you. * [[DialgaX This Troper]] once made some homemade vanilla soft serve ice cream. Unfortunately, there was a hole in the inner container and concentrated brine ended up getting into the ice cream. The resulting ice cream looked disturbingly like spooge but didn't taste that bad, unfortunately eating too much of it causes nausea. ** A friend made the same ice cream with too much vanilla extract. One bite caused vomiting. * I'm absent-minded and consider recipes more like guidelines. Add a

fondness for experimentation, and you get curry brownies. They weren't all bad, really. At least I didn't think so. * This troper's brother is generally a really good cook,especially when it comes to desserts. However several years ago there was a incident where he and his friends created something called Haribo Pie. Basically boredom + pastry pie shell + a bag of Haribo Starburst (gummy sweets to those who don't know) + an oven = something which stuck to the inside of your mouth and burnt it if you ate it hot and set rock solid so that it was impossible to eat (or extract the spoon that was left in it) if you let it cool. * This troper once got "teaspoon" and "tablespoon" mixed up while adding salt to cookies. People threw up after eating them. * Raekuul's cookies make little girls cry. * [[{{Irothtin}} Charcoal, anyone?]] * [[{{Whitewings}} This troper]]'s sister once shared a house with a woman who could literally burn water. Somehow. This housemate managed to burn hot dog buns while leaving the wieners half-frozen, and even cooked a TV dinner according to directions - and still managed to burn the chicken and leave the potatoes frozen. Fortunately, she was aware of her ineptitude and left the cooking to others. * One of [[{{DatabaseError}} this Troper's]] friends once made "chili" by combining pasta sauce, queso dip and seasoned ground beef. Just the scent of it was enough to send people running to the restroom. ** This same friend also made a bacon cheeseburger pizza without first frying the bacon. Needless to say, it contained a truly hideous amount of grease and the bacon wasn't fully cooked by the time the pizza was ready. ** Oh, and the same troper's brother is a lethal chef by way of some strange teaspoon/tablespoon dyslexia. I managed to stop him from adding three tablespoons of salt to a batch of cookies, but was not able to prevent him from ruining a coconut curry recipe with six tablespoons of ginger. * This troper blew up scones once. Also, one time when she was baking a chocolate cake it went green and bubbled over the top. ** [[FlatWhat What]]. * While being a generally good cook, [[PentiumMMX2 this troper]] has a love for experimenting. Sometimes, it leads to a great discovery (Dr. Pepper with fresh lemon juice is quite good), while sometimes it turns out terrible; like the time I tried to make an ice cream pie (To quote [[CodeLyoko Jim]]: [[NoodleIncident I'd rather not talk about it...]]) * Chocolate pudding with bits of bacon thrown in. It's delicious, but my god do you feel guilty eating it. It is the sweatpants of food, grossly socially inappropriate, but you like it. * In a nutritional science class (AKA over-glorified Home Ec) a girl made what I think were blondies. I took one, commented that it was okay, chewed for about five seconds, then ''screamed'' as the taste of salt suddenly exploded in my mouth. What do you know, no water in the room. God, the only thing worse than bad cooking is bad cooking ''in disguise''. Jesus, how the hell do you make delayed action bad taste? * I'm usually a fairly competent cook, but my take on buffalo chicken is [[BlazingInfernoHellfireSauce so spicy]], it made my younger sister's face come out in blotches. Now that's pretty damn near

lethal. * This troper is reminded by the quote at the top of the page of a story her mother told her once... of the ''free-standing spiced apple cider'' that her friend once produced one winter many years ago. ** [[http://www.burntfoodmuseum.com/exhibits_bfm/cider1_exhibit.html This, perhaps?]] *** Possible, but this troper ''did the same thing once''. * This Troper is actually a really good cook... Unless you want meatballs with your spaghetti and marinara. Which is exceptionally horrifying when you consider that I'm a third-generation ''ItalianAmerican''. * This troper is one of the "results look terrible, but actually taste fine" variation, especially when it comes to baked goods. * This Troper is eating the burnt remains of an egg she "fried" after scraping it off the pan and putting salt and pepper on it to make the burnt bits taste better, while trying to remove the smell of burning from the kitchen. * This troper once made mint cakes (it was a recipe in a book on pies. Don't ask why it was in a pie book) where he confused the frying pan for the required pan. The inside of the cakes was burnt to an extreme extent, but were still edible (just: it was like eating burnt toast, only with some mixed peel). Since that day, I've stuck to making the only thing impossible for me muck up: pasta (although, having had a better introduction to the pans, I might try making those cakes again...). ** Another two (this time, beverages) from the same troper: I once mixed a lot of fruit juices up with some milk. It was a few years ago (I think I was nine at the time), but I recall it being pretty good, although no one else in my family took me up on it (it looked like some form of purple sludge). I think they were relieved I didn't offer to give it to everyone over dinner. Finally, I have a habit of mixing a bit of every soft drink into a single glass while at a party. Since no one serves red bull or energy drinks at the parties I've been to, I've never made something I won't drink. Mind you, I have a strong stomach... *** Oh, I also didn't mention that my dad was once a chef (a temporary one, I think) and can cook lots of things very well indeed (although we have learnt since my original post that I am fantastic with a BBQ. However, a tip for fellow tropers: if you cook meatballs on metal skewers, don't try to shift them with your bare hands unless you like the smell of burning flesh). My sister is also a fantastic cook (she is skilled with cakes, but is a bit out of practice, having not made one for about two-three years). My mother, on the other hand...well, lets just say that, when I was on work experience, there was a reason why I decided to cook my own breakfast when we ran out of cereal... **** Now discovered that my mother is actually a reasonable cook (I was cooking noddles with mince: she not only told me (correctly, as it turned out, although it was still edible) that you needed more than just that to provide flavour, but actually helped me get the mince looking good). So everyone in my family can cook, just my mother prefers not to make meals from scratch, while everyone else generally makes things from scratch. Averted trope?

* Averted by [[{{Valbinooo}} me]], though my boyfriend claims that he can't cook and cites his inability to open those frozen pasta things[like Bertolli?] correctly[he told me he tried to rip open the bag xD and it exploded all over his kitchen] and the fact that he once made pizza for himself and burnt it to a crisp. He still ate it though. And he has a fondness for super spicy foods. I'll just let you take that to the logical conclusion. * This tropette happens to be a very good cook. Her sisters however...One has repeatedly microwaved things for the time recommended for the oven (Pizza rolls look like charcoal bricks after 15 minutes on high...) and managed to make chicken with blackening seasoning taste (and have the texture of) fish with cinnamon. The other just tends to forget things are on the stove...our house has many a pan with a black bottom to testify. * This troper's friend once said, after I served him a gooey, foothigh bacon-egg-and-cheese sandwich for breakfast, "If I'm ever on death row, I want you to cook my last meal." My cooking tastes fine, but will probably kill you. * This Troper's sister is a ''horrible'' cook. She can never get recipes to turn out right, and God help you if she decides to experiment with herbs! * While trying to make mini-pizzas, this troper discovered that he had no tomato sauce. He attempted to substitute this with ketchup. "They're both made from tomatoes!" ''Never again.'' * My girlfriend once wanted to make pancakes from scratch and had me look up a recipe for her while she was staying two days at my house. She proceeded to ignore the sugar and use baking soda instead of baking powder without adding an acidic ingredient to make it work like baking powder. I didn't try any, but she didn't eat more than two bites before throwing them away. The next morning, we found that a raccoon had attacked our trash can. He ate everything....except the pancakes. * This troper and members of his family tend to have one thing each that just spells EPIC FAIL, oddly, all in the same way. ** Me: I can't make any pie whatsoever. Any liquid in it evaporates, so I end up with the dryest pies ''ever''. I honestly don't know how it happens. I don't really want to try anything else after the exploding chicken. Which will forever be a NoodleIncident. ** First Cousin: She can't make pudding. It evaporates, regardless of how its made. I actually watched her make instant pudding that didn't need to be cooked, and it evaporated and made a brown splotch on the ceiling. ** Younger Brothers: They tried that mixing the drinks together thing, and ended up with something the consistency of marmalade. One of their friends tried it and said that it tasted of (best fit spelling) 'gwaurailbing'. *** And no, I don't have any idea why liquid seems to want to escape from us at all costs. * This troper messed up microwaved dumplings. * A friend of [[BlueGasMask This Troper's]] mum once came over to our house to cook steaks to lighten the cooking load. When we found out he was cooking the steaks rare, taking them off, leaving each steak for

10 minutes and putting them back on we asked him what the hell all the partially cooked steak was doing off the stove. His reply? [[MontyPythonsFlyingCircus "It's resting!"]] * [[Tropers/ZiggyStardustForever I still]] remember the time my younger sister ruined a batch of Kraft Easy-Mac by ''forgetting to add the water before microwaving it'' (how she managed to do that, I'll never know). The noodles were completely '''black''' when they came out, and the kitchen absolutely ''reeked''. My sister's own literal NoodleIncident. ** And for [[Tropers/ZiggyStardustForever my part]], while I'm pretty good with most things, I ''still'' can't cook custard without burning it. Not that we eat a lot of custard, anyway... * When making a recent batch of apple muffins, this troper had a case of this trope in neglecting to add the brown sugar the recipe called for. A regular batch of ten to twelve would be inhaled in a few short hours. In about the same amout of time the bleugh-batch was down only three, two of which were only half eaten. * I am really bad at cooking-tried to make fried eggs (they burnt to a black crisp that I had to scrape from the pan), bacon (set on fire), chicken (burnt and set fire alarm off). My friend is trying to teach me to cook, which could be a very impossible task. * Surprisingly, this happens to this troper when he microwaves pizza (Usually it's just the smell). He also disgusted some people with his garlic-salt, cinnamon, rosemary, and cake sprinkle pizza. * Once, back when I was about seven, I decided I was going to cook something for myself instead of bothering my parents (who were both busy in the backyard). So I microwaved a pizza. For the amount of time the back said it needed to cook... in the oven. Needless to say, I ended up with a charred disc, a ruined plate, ''tons'' of smoke (with the smoke detectors going off) and parents who were glad I hadn't hurt myself, but still would've preferred I'd just ''asked'' them for lunch. * My younger sister also had her lethal moments, probably because {{Pride}} and contrariness meant she kept rejecting every attempt our folks made to teach her. The highlight came shortly before she headed off to college -- as in literally ''days'' before she was going to move into her first dorm. While trying to boil water, she accidentally switched on the wrong burner, which she'd put some dirty saucepans on (instead of putting them in the sink). While Mom was able to quickly put out the resulting grease fire, my sister had already panicked and called the fire department. (On the plus side, they ''did'' bring in a huge fan to help get all the smoke out of the kitchen... though sis managed to dig herself deeper by drooling over the hot firemen.) To top it all off, when she mentioned the fire to her friends, one of them asked "What were you trying to do, boil water?" -- and she admitted that was exactly right. Apparently, they still [[NeverLiveItDown haven't let her forget that]], even though she's gotten better since then. * This troper is divorced, but back during his married days he had a sister-in-law who was this trope personified. She tried to cook instant pudding (with predictable results), destroyed his microwave making a frozen pizza, and damn near burned the house down when she

left the oven on overnight---thankfully with nothing flammable in it. * A few egg stories. First, this troper's sister has gotten into the habit of making scrambled eggs really whenever she's hungry. EVERY time, she somehow manages to get them to stick to a non-stick pan, to the point that when I wash the pan, I need to use a spatula to scrape the pan clean. This troper's response about the 5th time this happened? "DAAAAD! [Troper's sister]'s cooking broke physics!" He'd respond "[Troper]! You know better than to say that! The pan's covered in Teflon! She broke CHEMISTRY." *** Not the troper above, but if she hasn't fixed that habit yet, tell her to heat the pan before starting. ** When this (same) troper was a kid, he tried to cook an egg in the microwave. By this I mean I pulled an egg out of the carton, and put the thing straight in the microwave. His parents had to buy a new microwave. * This troper is a DELIBERATE lethal chef, after thanksgiving, he didn't feel like having turkey for another few weeks,so he shoved all the turkey in a bag, plus a few firecrackers. the kitchen had turkey everywhere in it for about a year. * My mother has served up broccoli covered in (accidentally) boiled slugs and caterpillars at least twice. Cue Squick. And hatred of broccoli forever. * I once went to a restaurant where all the food looked like it had been scooped out of a toilet. I honestly couldn't tell what some of the dishes were. We ended up chucking all of it into the big bowl of soup we'd been given and dared one guy at our table to drink it (he didn't - if he had, he'd probably have died). * I managed to light French toast on fire once. Don't ask me ''how'', because the stove wasn't up too high and I was watching it the whole time, but somehow there were flames. A lot of flames. I'm a terrible cook at the best of times--my husband actually won't let me cook anymore, because I've given us food poisoning three times--but incendiary French toast was a new high even for me. (I lit a pizza on fire once, too, but that was just because I put it in the oven and then forgot about it because the timer didn't ding.) * This troper's girlfriend, bless her heart. She could burn cold cereal. We once had to evacuate our apartment (which was currently housing seven or eight people) because she tried to make macaroni and cheese. The kind from a BOX. She has also killed four toasters since we met and once set a large pot of chili on fire. Don't ask how. She got it cooking, walked away, and when she came back you could roast marshmallows on it. * When this tropette was four, she wanted grilled cheese. Sequentially, bread, butter, cheese, butter, bread. Okay, she had a cheese sandwich. Then, of course, came cooking it. Naturally, put it in the toaster! Thank God her parents asked her what she was making before she could ruin the toaster. * Recently, I managed to make sludge in a coffeepot. SLUDGE in a COFFEEPOT. * After learning how to make a basic white sauce, this troper attempted to make alfredo sauce completely from scratch. While there weren't any spectacular fireworks to speak of, it had the consistency

of thin syrup and I had added too much flour to the roux. Pretty much the only thing I'm good at making from scratch is grilled cheese sandwiches, [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking and one of my favorite snacks is potato chips and ketchup]]. * This Troper once went to a restaurant that served soup. Said soup tasted like charcoal. * This troper once made cookies in food tech. She forgot to add the sugar, and then burnt them. After that incident, it was for the best that she dropped that class. * [[Tropers/NewKidOnTheBlock This troper]] baught a frozen pizza from the store and put it into the oven to heat it up. Unfortunately, I never heard the timer on the oven go off and after a few minutes, I forgot about it. I think it was about... three or so hours when I remembered it? * [[Tropers/{{SpiriTsunami}} This troper]] is generally the Less-ThanLethal variety, creating dishes that look like abstract art but taste exactly like what they're supposed to be. However, I've also had my fair share of frozen pizza mishaps--most notably when I forgot to separate the pizza from the cardboard that was inside the wrapping. (Although, on the subject of abstract art, any attempts at ''actual'' art will turn out ''exactly'' like putting a LethalChef in a kitchen.) * This troper somehow burned her FOOT, while making INSTANT. FREAKIN'. RAMEN. And the noodles STILL came out bland. And this happened about after she burned TEA. * This troper's finest moments in the kitchen include: ** Turning frozen Chinese-style rice into charcoal ''in the microwave'' (and stinking the kitchen out). ** Having a boiled egg explode in the saucepan. Not just crack. [[StuffBlowingUp Explode.]] As in, pieces of eggshell flying across the kitchen. ** Having a grilled cheese sandwich explode in the sandwich toaster. My sister said the toaster looked like something out of a horror movie afterwards. ** Setting a bread basket on fire. ** Cooking pasta that ended up part burned, part sludgy, part practically uncooked (that's what happens when you overcook pasta without using enough water). ** Making omelettes into scrambled eggs on a regular basis. (Troper's sister: "It looks like a map of [[LordOfTheRings Middle Earth]]! You can see where the Orcs have attacked!") ** Having a pork chop melt. Yes, melt. All the fat turned into sludge and stuck to the pan. ** Finding out I'd run out of sugar while making a cake, and using honey instead. Needless to say [[{{Understatement}} it didn't exactly work]]. * This troper once used a line in a fanfic that was partially based on an actual occurrence: peanut butter sandwiches that were somehow both soggy... and stiff and rigid. Served with burnt corn that was already cold. * This troper has a friend whose sister read about someone putting red pepper flakes on vanilla yogurt, so she tried it... and liked it. The rest of the family felt sick.

* A few of the posts on [[melissawiley.com/blog this site]] could arguably count... note the chai soup, for example. Or the mint syrup/yogurt/juice combo. Ew. * My friend once told me that she managed to make a cup of tea go green. Just a regular cup of tea. Subverted when I found out she was lying and just said that she couldn't make it because she didn't want to make the dozens of cups of tea our weekly games club goes through. * This troper's sister once managed to burn ramen noodles in the microwave. How did she manage this blunder? She forgot to add water. However, she has since improved and can now make rice on the stove without burning anything or setting it on fire. And she remembers the water. * This troper and her best friends just tried to make some microwaved chocolate cinammon cupcakes (since I don't own a freaking oven...) and managed to produce a batch of literal charcoal. And the smell... This troper's grandma will [[NeverLiveItDown never live it down]]. The other batches somehow became ''volcano'' chocolate cupcakes. At least they tasted pretty good. The other times this troper tried to cook, however.. ** Burnt omelets for dinner *** Soggy French toast * This tropette can't cook to save her life. I put stuff in the microwave and it [[StuffBlowingUp explodes]]. I'm also somehow capable of burning Chef Boyardee spagehetti w/meatballs. I don't even try to make cereal, it might actually just [[TheSimpsons burst into flames]]. * A subversion: not too long ago, this troper's mother decided to make a cup of coffee. And when she poured the coffee into the cup...[[MadeOfExplodium THE CUP EXPLODED]], hurling little pieces of glass right across the room. [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer I am NOT making this up]]. * My mom once accidentally put in too much spicy green curry sauce on some shrimp. I ended up eating food that was TOUCHING the shrimp, and then running around and frantically looking for water. * {{StrykerX}} Once managed to break a whisk and a measuring cup. I WAS MAKING CORNBREAD!!! ---Quick! Go back to LethalChef before you kill somebody with that pickle-olive-strawberry-maple-syrup souffle! ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LetThereBeSnow * ThisTroper lives in Gainesville, Florida, and it snowed on Christmas in 1989. The city has not seen any snowy days at all, twenty years later.

LettingHerHairDown * A sort of inversion: during seventh grade, [[LeyomiTheParodier this troper]] would generally wear her nearly waist-length honey-blonde hair in a loose, careless/casual/practical ponytail at the back of her

neck, or just leave it dangling down her back. Now, people always thought she had very nice hair (to the point that sometimes they would walk up to her and start fingering a lock of it). But on the three or four occasions when her [[HaveAGayOldTime girlfriends]] got ahold of her, they'd put it up in a ponytail near the top of her head, pulling it all away from her face and neck. And apparently it looked really pretty, judging by what they told her (and in that case they were not lying). So in this case it was a weird combo of BeautifulAllAlong and an inversion of this trope. * This troper has a bit more than waist-length hair. It is rather light and so gets tangled easily , so she usually wears it in a braid. Many of her friends invoke this trope on her if they feel like that. ** Are you my friend? I know someone who fits that description perfectly. And yes, we do invoke this trope on her. * This troper used this trope to great effect when her high school put on Lil Abner for its annual musical. She was playing the antagonistic head scientist, which was a male role normally, but she got the part because there were precious few boys who actually tried out for the play. The result was a character who came off as an uptight, plain, old maid Oxford graduate who did her hair up in a severe bun. At her last scene, the scientist announced that the town would not be destroyed (long story)...and this troper ad libbed, pulling her scrunchy out to let her nice blonde hair fall to her shoulders. Cue cheering from the audience and a spontaneous glomp from a fellow cast member who hadn't been in the know. * From what this troper remembers, her hair was ALWAYS tied back mostly because of primary school. Girls weren't allowed to let their hair down because of lice/nits. At least two/three years into high school (2009) she let it down and rarely has a ponytail. My hair was medium brown, long and curly/frizzy. Now it's straight, medium length and darker (due to never going outside, yep blame the computer). Much easier to take care of now. ---Go back to [[LettingHerHairDown the main article]]... but before you go, couldn't you just let your hair down.... My god! [[BeautifulAllAlong You're beautiful!]] ----

LiesToChildren [[AC:Real Life]] * Until you're taught European/American History in Middle/High School, you are told that Christopher Columbus was an awesome good guy who 'discovered' America. His criminal record and time in prison are often ignored. In reality, he instituted the encomienda system, causing the genocide of the original islanders. He also used his foreknowledge of an impending eclipse to terrify the native population. And after you learn how awful he was you also learn that this behavior was expected. And after you learn that the Queen was so horrified that she never let him go back; you learn that the only reason for her horror was that she wanted converts not corpses. The story of Columbus is like a

fucking onion. ** Another misconception fostered in schools is that the entire world thought the world was flat. Columbus thought it was round and proved it. This is incorrect; a great deal of the Medieval world knew the world was round. Columbus thought it was pear shaped. He was also convinced he'd found the route to India and threatened anyone who suggested he'd found a new continent with death. Columbus didn't land on mainland America either. And ''then'' you find evidence (quotes from his journal and an alteration to his family crest) that he knew perfectly well that he had discovered a new land mass, due to rivers too large for the land to be oceanic island as well as the local wealth being gold, not spice. Also take note that the Earth ''is'' actually slightly pear-shaped. *** Anyone wanting to explore the mythology surrounding Columbus--and similar topics--in greater depth, look for these books: ---> Howard Zinn's ''[[http://pegasus.cc.ucf.edu/~ncoverst/Zin.htm A People's History of the United States]]'' (Links to excerpt.) ---> James W. Loewen's ''Lies My Teacher Told Me: Everything Your American History Textbook Got Wrong'' ** Everyone knew the Earth was round back then, and they had a pretty good idea of how big it is. Rather, everyone who ''mattered'' knew the Earth was round. "Everyone" covers an awful lot of people who honestly did not know this, but those people weren't funding voyages to India. What Columbus was trying to prove was that the world was a lot smaller than they thought. The distance over land between Western Europe and India was known, and if it covered a greater percentage of the world's surface than was generally believed, then what was left over (the sea in between) was short enough to be crossed in a ship before it would run out of provisions. At any rate, although Columbus was kind of a dick and certainly was not the first person to reach the Americas from Eurasia, his discovery was news to Spain and set off a huge part of world history, and that's what is really important about him, not his personal life. * There's also the problem that, even after learning Columbus wasn't a good guy, most people still think he was the first person to discover the Americas. This is completely wrong; the first recorded ''European'' to reach North America was Leif Ericson and his crew, although there's substantial evidence that suggests fishermen from Europe had been traveling to the coast of North America for years even before that. Even more importantly, Europeans were certainly not the first ''people'' to come to North America. Millions of people already lived there when the Europeans showed up. Current theories suggest the majority were descended from people who traveled over a land bridge (located at the current Bering Strait) from Asia to North America, although there are many other theories, including the very likely possibility that the Chinese (or other Asian civilizations with a sea presence) crossed the Pacific ocean to modern-day California and even the theory that the Egyptians or Romans crossed the Atlantic Ocean over a thousand years before the Vikings. Columbus is really only important because he was the first European to reach the New World that was from a civilization that both had the capability and the desire to colonize it.

* All that was taught in elementary school about WorldWarII was essentially: ''"There was a bad man named [[AdolfHitler Hitler]] who started killing all the Jewish people in Germany. The Allies knew that this was wrong so they went to war to stop him."'' And let's not even get into the Civil War. ** Both ways, actually. When you're little, you're basically taught that the whole thing was about slavery. When you get older and people start trying to cure you of that misconception, they often make the mistake of claiming the whole thing was about state's rights with slavery being a minor footnote. Never mind that the south had spent the 40's and 50's using their control of both the Federal government and Supreme Court to try and force slavery on the "free" states (Dred Scott decision, Fugitive Slave Act) and didn't start crowing about state's rights until they lost power in the 1860 elections, and that every Confederate state explicitly mentioned the threats the new government posed to the institution of slavery in their declarations of secession more than anything else. ** And don't forget that the Nazis weren't just killing Jews, but Poles, homosexuals, Gypsies, and many others. Everyone assumes that if someone was in a Nazi camp they were Jewish, and that's an insult to the memory the rest. *** The Jews ''were'' the largest group of people the Nazis went after. But history books still tend to gloss over the other victims in their efforts to [[ViewersAreMorons simplify things for the average reader]]. *** Glossing over these groups also ignores Hitler's public enemy number two: Socialists. Cue repercussions today with people calling any political stance they don't like some sort of NaziCommies plot. *** This also makes worth mentioning that the Japanese did many horrible things in Asia and the Pacific, that the [[EnemyMine Russians weren't significantly nicer during or before WWII than they were during the Cold War]], or that American and British military forces did things that today would be considered [[WhatTheHellHero horrific]] (such as strategic bombing campaigns in general, and most especially firebombing raids like the ones that burned down Dresden and Tokyo. Nevermind [[AtomicHate Hiroshima and Nagasaki]]). * Similarly in history, every Australian primary school student learns that England settled Australia because they needed a penal colony. It isn't until High School and probably even university that students will be challenged to ask ''why'' England decided it needed a penal colony halfway around the world, in an incredibly expensive venture, rather than just sticking them somewhere comfortably far away but near enough to be cheap. *** I'll just ask this here since I know I'll get a straight answer and I won't have to do homework: why did they need a penal colony halfway around the world? ** Apparently there is also a worrying trend to teach James Cook as being the first European to discover Australia, which is patently untrue. William Dampier, an Englishman working for the Dutch was shipwrecked on the western coast of Australia in 1610 (to Cook's 1770) and is the first confirmed European to reach the continent. Cook was merely the first to map the more hospitable eastern coast. And even

that has recently been cast into doubt with Portugese maps showing the east coast of Australia and dating from over a century being discovered, though that's recent enough to be a case of {{History Marches On}} rather than {{Lies To Children}}. * Physics has many of these. It starts with "electrons orbit the nucleus of the atom" shown with a diagram of circles of differing radii, each with 2, 8, 18, etc maximum electrons. This completely misrepresents that electrons exist in three dimensional probability clouds, many of which are not sphere shaped. It also suggests that every electron at a specific "energy level" has the same amount of energy, when in fact different shapes of clouds have different energies (s versus p, for example). ** Drawing planets with circular orbits. Then, trying to make up for it by calling them elliptical orbits. A planetary orbit actually forms an ellipse that shifts every year. As a matter of fact, all the planets in our solar system except Pluto (which doesn't even really count anymore) have orbits that are technically elliptical, but are so nearly circular that they might as well be classified as such. ** Newton physics - particulary concepts of separation of concepts of mass and energy, time independent of space and time independent of frame of reference or force of gravitation (as oppose to the bent timespace). However - it is useful. If an astronaut was sent a mission to Mars he would probably use Newtonian physics. ** Photons (light) are even worse. To name a few: a particle yet a wave, momentum yet no mass. Though, empirically, photons '''do''' act like particles and like waves in certain ways, and they ''do'' have momentum without having mass. All these results are testable. The real problem is that when we ask "is light made of particles or waves?" we're asking the wrong question; photons are ''photons'', not particles or waves. They just happen to behave in ways that are convenient to treat as particles or waves for purposes of abstracting out the math. And for the record, ordinary particles such as electrons also act like waves. ** Oh, and the addition of velocities. If object 1 is moving one direction at X m/s and object 2 is moving in the exact opposite direction at Y m/s, object 1's relative velocity to object 2 is NOT X+ Y because that would break relativity (say they are both traveling at the speed of light). Temporal and spatial dilation have to be taken into account. Though keep in mind that below ~15% the speed of light there's no appreciable difference on a human scale. ** In at least some cases, teachers may not know themselves. A student asked a teacher once, "If matter is never created or destroyed, what about those atoms that pop in and out of existence?" She looked rather nervous and told him that wasn't covered in her class. (He is referring to the Zero-Point field, basically a sea of energy BECAUSE many subatomic particles pop in and out of existence, the average of which is effectively static when viewed from larger levels of order. No, atoms do not pop in and out of existence directly, although they may be fused or split.) The answer, of course, is that conservation of mass and conservation of energy are both LiesToChildren versions of conservation of mass-energy, and even that is something of a simplification of the quantum reality.

** For that matter, what about classical causality? While often causally-linked (e.g. as a causal pair), events at sub-atomic levels do not occur in a strict cause-effect order/relationship. ** Quantum mechanics gets this in spades, probably due to many aspects of quantum mechanics being relatively counter-intuitive or confusing. One of the more commonly taught beliefs is that someone physically seeing (observing) something changes what is being observed. This misconception stems from the [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Observer_effect_%28physics%29#Quantum_m echanics observer effect]] in quantum mechanics. In actuality, almost anything interacting with a system in quantum mechanics changes it. The observer effect simply states that, in order to actually observe something, you have to interact with it in some way (like hitting it with photons so it can be visible to humans). The physical act of seeing something only changes the photons that hit the eye. * Let's not forget biology. The misconception that all traits are [[LegoGenetics coded for by specific genes]], anyone? Similarly, the misconception that all traits are inherited genetically from one's parents. In fact, [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epigenetics epigenetics]] shows that an expression of identical genes may be inherited in a Lamarckian way, and [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horizontal_gene_transfer horizontal gene transfer]] allows gene transfer between living individuals rather than from parents. ** So... LamarckWasRight? [[SelfDemonstratingArticle Not exactly.]] Epigenetics is not Lamarckism (which is actually an example of this trope itself as the idea predates Lamarck by quite a bit and Lamarck's contributions were much closer to the truth, including the first coherent evolutionary theory). It's merely the study of environmental effects on gene expression. And speaking of those traits, there's the whole dominant/recessive alleles in the punnet squares taught in middle and high school natural sciences class. While still technically accurate they're also a gross simplification on the interactions between alleles, many of which are still not fully understood. ** [[BillyMays But that's not all!]] Pleiotropy, where one gene product (not one protein; there's still the various forms of small [=RNAs=]) can influence a great number of genes, cis-regulatory elements which control the activations of whole networks, HOX body planning genes, genes which influence traits by altering which particular stretches of chromosome are most readily available to be read, genes which are essentially viruses which have spurred other genes to appear just to block the 'bad' gene from doing anything, prokaryotic (bacterial) transformation by picking up stray DNA or having it shot into their cells by a stray virus, intentional random recombination of a gene by eukaryotes, and dozens of even weirder examples of [[BuffySpeak genetic goodyness.]] There's a reason you break it down to Central Dogma for the pre-college level, and introduce the weirdness bit by bit as you go. ** Unfortunately, this has backfired on the Theory of Evolution to a massive degree. Most of the people arguing against it use inaccurate analogies, take them far too literally, and then use that to "disprove" evolution. Very few, if any, people who argue against

evolution seem to actually understand it. *** And, of course, they frequently succeed in muddying the waters because a lot of the people who try to "prove" it don't understand it either, for many of the reasons mentioned above. * Similar to Monkey coming out of a hunk of rock at his creation in ''{{Journey to the West}}'', supposedly Chinese children are commonly told that they "burst out of a rock" as an answer to where babies come from. And on a similar note, the {{delivery stork}}. * While not necessarily scientific, the pigment color wheel is taught in school to have the primary colors of red, yellow, and blue. In reality, the use of those primaries yield a rather limited color palette and the RYB color wheel is outdated. It's been known that red, ''green'', and blue (RGB) are the primary colors (additive) of the human eye; if you mix them you will get white. They are used to emit light, like in case of computer monitors. In turn the pigment primaries (subtractive) are cyan, magenta, and yellow; if you mix the inks you would get something blackish. They are used when you reflect the light, like in printing (CMYK, K = black) and art. Mixing CMYK yields a larger array of colors, and yet art classes still teach the RYB model. In some languages there is distinction between 'basic color' = {red, green, blue} and 'basic hue' = {cyan, magneta, yellow} (however it is not followed). ** Light is not made out of RGB, it's just how our eyes work. There are three different kinds of color-detecting cones, and the response from each type of cone peaks at the three different wavelengths we define as red, blue, and green. Light itself doesn't have primary colors - our monitors just emit an illusion that fools us into thinking we are seeing the other wavelengths. Basically, RYB teaches the right idea for pigments, and you get the best results when you choose the best definitions of red, yellow and blue. They each have more than one. *** Cyan-Magenta-Yellow (CMY) are the primary pigment colors in ''process'' printing, along with Black (K, because 100% C, 100% M, 100% Y equals a dark muddy brown color that might be confused with black in bad light). Newer presses also support CMYKOG, adding orange and green to the process (which helps reproduce the more vibrant oranges, greens, and surprisingly blues and reds your eyes can see). Pantone spot colors, used when a certain color absolutely must be reproduced exactly in print, have ''twelve'' primary colors, and can also support things like metallic foils, glow-in-the-dark inks, and knockout holes. The CIE 1931 XYZ color space is the closest representation of the human visual range, consisting of a magentagreen color range, a blue-yellow color range, and a lightness range (forming a 3rd-dimensional object when mapped). All other color spaces fit inside CIE 1931 XYZ, and none of them whatsoever can even begin to fill the whole space, only covering ''part'' of the range of human visual acuity. *** And even the 1931 XYZ is flawed, but useful. Its a statistical match too, so what people see varies a bit too. The Rods can see a bit more than the cones can as well, but the brain's interpretation of color gets strange there. The 1964 CIE model is also popular as the 1931 model has certain built in lies. Mostly dealing with how humans

can see many more subtle differences in green than any other color, hence why the charts bulge out for green, and why 'pure' colors are only those on the curve of the CIE charts. Let alone white light, dear god white light is the biggest lie of them all.. * There's also SantaClaus. There really ''was'' a [[HistoricalHeroUpgrade St. Nick]], so, technically, he exists... ** St. Nicholas may have been just as fictional as Santa, though. The enslaved demon at least is probably not true (really a part of the legend). *** There probably was Nikolas, bishop of Myra, and it's not unlikely that he was a nice man, that gave someone a gift. At least once. * The education system, at least in the US, generally seems to follow this formula. Spend 7-8 years "teaching" children. Spend the next 4 years correcting or better adjusting them in most of the subjects. Finally, the last year is left for them to sort things out. ** And on a related note, the US "education" system (and those following a similar formula) period. Spend twelve or thirteen years engaging young people in menial, often actively counterproductive makework. Tell them you're teaching them things, and that these things will be extremely important when they're no longer in school. Continue to insist upon this long after they've left school and learned the truth. Completely fail to give a shit about the ones who feel bitter about this. ** Well, there is a reason for Lies to Children, namely that you need to understand the thing which is slightly true before you can understand everything. * [[BlatantLies The Tooth Fairy exists,]] [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial it most definitely not your parents sneaking in when you're sleeping.]] It's really the dentist, as seen in ''TheTenthKingdom''. * [[ReleasedToElsewhere Fluffy ran away/was moved to a farm/was given to a new family that would take care of him better.]] * Bit of a darker one here; ask a person who was against Vietnam if there were any parades welcoming people home. There were, but you won't find it in any history books. * [[http://notalwaysright.com/not-so-smart-card/6034 This]] NotAlwaysRight. * The way in which computers actually work. Binary is only the beginning - and nobody bothered to mention the part about why binary is used. Not to mention how the internet (and by extension telephones, if you're talking about twisted-pair copper wiring) really works. The best answer to 'what is the internet' is NOT 'lots of computers connected together'. 'Planet-wide WAN' does not begin to cover it. ** And let's not get into how DNS actually works, or even how IP addresses work. And it's even worse now that IPv6 is about to become something that will get more than a footnote mention. ** Oh, and hardware. CPUs do not just do maths. RAM does not just store bits of data being worked on. Your hard drive is much more complicated than magnetic discs. The only bit of hardware ever properly explained was CD burners. * Due to the less precise nature of linguistics, the LiesToChildren are even harder to pinpoint. No, A E I O U and Y are not the only vowels in the english language. As a matter of fact, none are vowels,

they're all graphemes. * I was on the receiving end of this trope once, which did work to my advantage temporarily. On September 11 (yes, that one) our teacher (we were just starting first grade at that time) said immediately that the terrorist attack on the Pentagon (we were five miles away at that time) was just "a plane accident." Justified in that the rationality (and the fact that the tv was tuned to the VCR instead of the news) [[NightmareRetardant actually made us felt safe]] from that fear at the time. I remember no mention of either al Qaida or the attack on World Trade Center towers until after that day.

LightBulbJoke Tell your best Main/LightBulbJoke here: ---[[{{Tropers/HG131}} HG131]]\\ '''How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ (Note: [[NWordPrivileges I'm (sadly) american]]) All of us. Everyone's got to first agree on a certain type of bulb, then the wattage of it, then the color, then how large of a ladder, what color the ladder should be, who should do it, should we help him if he falls or just beat on him some more and then we can get to changing it. However, we also need to decide if the old bulb is human. The people who think it is will try to murder anyone that disagrees with them. If either bulb is anything but a standard, old-fashioned bulb we also need to decide if we should allow it to exist. Those same murdering nutjobs will try to deny the bulb the right to exist, even though they supported it's existence before. Some may use rainbow-colored signs that say stuff like "God Hates Environment-Safe Bulbs!", "Thank God For Broken Bulbs!" and other insults. In the end, the bulb will never be changed and we'll just continue to sit in the dark while everyone else changes their bulbs, improving their countries. '''How many [[Series/DoctorWho Time Lords]] does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Ten. Eight of them to whine about non-interference, the Master to come and break the bulb and the Doctor to come and stop him and replace the bulb. '''How many Captain Jack Harknesses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'''\\ An infinite number. They're all busy [[AnythingThatMoves screwing other things]], including the socket AND the bulbs. '''How many lolis does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Three. One to remove the old one and put the new one in, one to be disturbingly sexual for her age and one to be amazingly cute and naive about sex, but wanting to learn. ---D_E\\ '''How many Theoretical Evolutionists does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\

One, but he'll need a hundred free variables to make it fit. ---Tropers/{{EPIC}}:\\ '''How many SonicTheHedgehog [[UnpleasableFanbase fans]] does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ None - The Sonic fans are so [[UnpleasableFanbase unpleasable ]] that they can't tell whether they want a 2D or 3D lightbulb, many preferring the dark in the process. * Alternative answer: The FanDumb, specifically the Old Timers don't '''''want''''' to change the lightbulb. They think it's better just because of stupid [[NostalgiaFilter nostalgia]]! ---HyperNeya:\\ ** Alternative alternative answer to EPIC's joke that requires a little knowledge of the fanbase: One, [[SonictheHedgehog4 but then the other fans would complain about the physics of screwing in a lightbulb and how the physics were better before the lightbulb was screwed in.]] *** Yet another answer: One, because the haters are too busy being wowed by SonicColors to care about the lightbulb anymore. ---Glidergun:\\ '''How many Freudian psychotherapists does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Two - one to screw in the light bulb and the other to hold the [[FreudianSlip penis]]. Ladder! I meant ladder. ---Tanto:\\ '''How many Mets fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ Just one - he only needs to stand there while the universe revolves around him. ---Raposa:\\ '''How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ None - Californians screw in hot tubs. ---Zyxzy:\\ '''How Many [[{{Metalocalypse}} Dethklok]] fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ 10 - one to screw in the light bulb and 9 to be maimed horribly by [[{{Metalocalypse}} Dethklok's]] antics. ---Kayube:\\ '''How many Pokemon trainers does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Only one, but he needs six badges and the HM for Change Light Bulb. ---Seanette:\\ '''How many Mormons does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Five - one to change the light bulb, one to give the opening prayer, one to lead the music, one to give the closing prayer, and one to bring the refreshments.\\ (Note: troper posting this one [[Main/NWordPrivileges is herself LDS]])

---Tropers/MrGuy:\\ '''How many Fox News anchors does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Four - one to accuse it of hating our country, once to accuse it of having a liberal bias, one to accuse it of being a Muslim Socialist, and one to screw it in. ---Tropers/DeuxHero:\\ '''How many liberals does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ One - but they think the government should do it for them. Americans have a ''right'' to light. ---[[Tropers/EddieVanHelsing Eddie Van Helsing]]:\\ '''How many Microsoft employees does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ None - darkness is a feature, not a bug.\\ '''How many evangelical Christians does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ None - Jesus will take care of it if you just open your heart and pray. ---Tropers/JonnyD:\\ '''How many members of a stereotypically stupid demographic of your choice does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ A hundred, 1 to hold the light bulb and 99 to turn the ceiling. ---Tropers/{{Demetrios}}:\\ '''How many DragonBallZ characters does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ One, but it'll take him five episodes to do it. ---Tropers/SirPsychoSexy:\\ '''How many people with TourettesShitcockSyndrome does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ I don't know, but if you tried filming it, it'd be OscarBait. '''How many Discordians does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Purple monkey horse farts. ---Tropers/{{Momonga}}:\\ '''How many mezzo-sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ None; they can't go that high. '''How many tropers does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Well, first they have to remove the lampshade... ----

Tropers/{{Benj}}:\\ '''How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Only one, but the light-bulb really has to want to change ---Tropers/{{Seren_y_Gogledd}}:\\ '''How many authors does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Two. One to screw the bulb most of the way in, and another to give it a shocking twist at the end. ---Wemmblyhogg:\\ '''How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Just the one, but only after asking "Why?". '''How many network executives does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Only one, but frequently the bulb is still lit. '''How many mathematicians does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ -e[[superscript:i&#960;]] [[spoiler:= 1]] ---Mediiic:\\ '''How many middle-class white men does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ One. ---Tropers/{{Filby}}:\\ '''How many liberals does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ 10, as they need to hold a debate into whether or not the lightbulb exists. Even if they can agree upon the existence of the lightbulb they may not go ahead and change it for fear of alienating those who use fluorescent tubes. '''How many libertarians does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ None. The invisible hand of the free market will take care of it. '''How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ CHANGE?!? ---Winter:\\ '''How many harpists does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Just one. If you can find one. '''How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\

None. It's a hardware problem. '''How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ None. We'll work around it in software. '''How many piano players does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Just one. But he'll do it over and over and over until he gets it juuuuuuuuust right. ---Tropers/{{Nlpnt}}:\\ '''How many Vermonters does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Three. One to do it and two to talk about how much better the old one was. '''How many Bush administration members does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ None. "We stand behind the original light bulb. The light bulb is still fully functional based on the metrics we are applying to it at this time. The liberal media is endangering Americans' safety by revealing to terrorists that we're sitting here in the dark, and anyway the real problem is with the socket and wiring which were installed by the Clinton administration." ---Kimura:\\ '''How many [[LittleBigPlanet Sackpeople]] does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Four. One to create the lightbulb and Two Way Switch, one to publish the level, one to activate the switch, and one to send a [[CensorshipTropes Good Grief!]] about [[FreudWasRight where the first sackperson placed the lightbulb.]] ---Tropers/ExplodingFrogs:\\ '''How many [[StarTrek Borg]] does it take to change in a light bulb?'''\\ Lightbulbs are irrelevent; resistence is futile. '''How many government employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ Two. One to insist it's being taken care of, and the other to screw it into a water faucet. '''How many {{Firefly}} characters does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ None; [[TooGoodToLast they'll get cancelled before really getting

started.]] ---Headfullofimaginary:\\ '''How many Politicians does it take to change a Lightbulb?'''\\ "Well, it's not really so much about ''changing'' the bulb, but more a question of whether or not we can, um, adapt to, er, make the new system work well enough to provide the public with..." '''How many British Soap Characters does it take to change a lightbulb at Christmas?'''\\ Eight. One to make a comment about how this will be the best lightbulb-changing ever so that there can be an ironic twist; one to actually try to change the bulb; another to interrupt and insist that he knows what the first person's REALLY up to and that he can't let it carry on; a fourth to run in and reveal a secret that causes the first two to get into a fist-fight; one to be horrifically murdered in the room next door; one to provide comic relief during a jarring scene change in which theres a 'hilarious' BLAM surrounding karaoke; one to find the body, hear the shouting, step in, knock out of the people arguing over the lightbulb so that the other can screw it in; and the dead person's fiance(e) to burst in at the last minute looking happy, then see the body and burst into tears, but only after dropping their cigarette which will of course set fire to a (in)convenient can of petrol which will catch light and blow the house up. And it will all be for nothing, because two years later the original lightbulb will return in a shock storyline centred around someone's long-lost son. '''How many Daily Mail readers does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Two hundred. One to change the bulb; 70 to complain about how the new bulb is another sign of the outrageous PC Brigade who have made 'Broken Britain' a worse place to live than Zimbabwe; twenty to threaten to emigrate because of this; 40 to blame the Prime Minister even though he clearly had nothing to do with it; ten to post jokes or poems about it; ten to say that this is why they vote for the BNP; one to pipe up as a lone voice of perspective, saying that the new light bulb may not be perfect, but it ''is'' just a light bulb; twenty to knock him back; ten to relate this light-bulb changing to similar one last year and use it to predict armageddon; 7 to pin the blame on a random minority group and one to wish that Diana was here. '''How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ One thousand. One to change the bulb; one to wonder what happened to the old bulb; one to point out the odd-looking scorch marks on the carpet beneath the bulb; another to dig up an old picture of George Bush waving and announce that 'it all makes sense now', and 996 to join in. '''How many windows computers does it take to change a light

bulb?'''\\ One. One. One. One. One. One. You have performed an illegal action, please reboot the system. One. One. One......One. One. One. Lightbulb changing 1% complete... ---Tropers/AMereServantOfGod: '''How many women does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ About the same number as men; get over it. ---Unistrut: '''How many theater electricians does it take to change a light bulb?''' It's a ''lamp'' goddammit! ---Tropers/SilentHunter: '''How many ''Series/DoctorWho'' fans does it take to change a light bulb?''' None, they just wait for 16 years until it comes back on again. ---Tropers/{{Ripsaw}}: '''How many Romulans does it take to change a light bulb?''' None. The light bulb is cloaked, not out. ---Tropers/{{Specialist290}}: '''How many tropers does it take to change a lightbulb?''' None; we just [[LampshadeHanging hang the lampshades]]. '''How many <Stereotyped Heavy Drinker Ethnicity> does it take to change a lightbulb?''' Five. One to hold it in place, and four to drink until the room starts spinning. ---Tropers/{{Enlong}} '''How many ''DungeonsAndDragons'' players does it take to change a

light bulb?''' Change? Why do we need to ''change'' it? The bulb is ''not'' broken! You just want us to have lighting, like in [[WorldOfWarcraft WOW]], so you think you need to change the ''entire light bulb!'' ---Anonymous: '''How many idiots does it take to screw in a light bulb?''' '''How many?''' '''Twelve. One to hold the light bulb and ten to turn the chair.''' '''That makes eleven.''' '''One... two... Oh, shut up!''' ---Further Anonymous: '''How many tabletop RPG players does it take to change a light bulb?''' ''All of them''. NeverSplitTheParty! ---Yon Troper: '''How many pessimists does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ Who cares, it's probably not going to work anyway. One. \\ '''How many psychics does it take to screw in a light bulb?''' ---[=SummoningDark=]: '''How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?''' Fish. Seven to paint the giraffe mauve, and four to fill the bathtub with Dean Koontz books. ---Tropers/{{korax1214}}: '''How many Pink Floyd fans does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ 1) I don't know, I was really drunk at the time.\\ 2) There is no lightbulb really; matter of fact, it's ''all'' dark. '''How many users of TheOtherWiki does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ 1) Any of them, but it will probably get reverted anyway.\\ 2) '''Lightbulb''' is protected due to persistent vandalism.\\ 3) That's original research and hence not allowed.\\

4) Light bulbs are not notable.[citation needed] This page has been marked for deletion. '''How many England-soccer-squad managers does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ None -- the bulb always worked before. '''How many ''Constitution''-class starship's doctors does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ I'm a doctor, not an electrician. ---Tropers/{{Zemyla}}: '''How many Lojban speakers does it take to change a broken light bulb?'''\\ Two: One to figure out what to change it to and one to figure out what kind of bulb emits broken light. ---Tropers/{{korax1214}}: '''How many object-orientated programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ None -- we just send a message to the bulb and it changes itself. ---Tropers/{{Duckay}}: '''How many WorldOfWarcraft [[=GMs=] does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ The lightbulb feature is working as intended. '''How many emos does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ None. They'd rather sit in the dark and cry. ---Tropers/{{JET73L}}:\\ '''How many [[VancianMagic wizards]] does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ One, but it requires 4 silver worth of graphite and a special feat if he didn't expect the bulb to go out. * [[TheDresdenFiles Alternately]], one, but [[WalkingTechbane he'll short out the rest of your wiring in the process]]. '''How many bards does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Dancing Lights. '''How many epic-level rogues does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Where'd the socket go? And my wallet? And the lightbulb? '''How many {{Scanners}} dies it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ One, but you'll need a broom, a dustpan, and a potato to get rid of the old one. '''How many quantum theorists does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ None. By the time they get to it, it will already be a completely

different lightbulb, although statistics suggest that it won't be fundamentally different from the old one on any scale greater than the subatomic level. '''How many comedians does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ So far, two-hundred fifty million and counting. ---Tropers/MikeRosoft: '''How many elephants does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ Two, but it'd better be a really ''huge'' bulb. '''How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Two: one will change it, while the other persuades you to join them. ---Tropers/{{Etheru}} '''How many MegaMan villains does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ One, Because Wily's the only villain. ** What about Dr. Cossa- * is shot* ---Tropers/{{Digitalpotato}}:\\ '''How many Hardcore gamers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'''\\ Twenty. One screws it in and the other nineteen whine about how simplified and easy it is. '''How many trumpet players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'''\\ Thirty. One to screw it in and the other twenty-nine say they can do it better. '''How many Dungeons and Dragons characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'''\\ Only one provided they pass the skill check. * Rolls dice* '''How many PC gamers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'''\\ Only one but then they wind up turning the particle effects off when they go online to game anyways. '''How many Computer Fetishists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'''\\ Why would you do that anyways? MY COMPUTER CAN SCREW THE LIGHTBULB!!! ---Tropers/RobinZimm:\\ '''How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'''\\ [[Trivia/{{Math}} 0.999999...]] '''How many ADD people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'''\\ [[AttentionDeficitOohShiny Hey, a squirrel!]] '''How many engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ One, [[DuctTapeForEverything given enough duct tape]].

---Tropers/Josh6243:\\ '''How many {{MUGEN}} players, creators and characters does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ 6 of them * One MUGEN character to screw it in. * One creator to make a spriteswap of the character screwing the lightbulb in. * One player who lavishly praises and/or has Main/PerverseSexualLust with the character screwing the lightbulb in. * One player shouting that character screwing the lightbulb in is a character is made for '''''"[[TheKhan CAAAAAAAASSSSSUUUAAAAAAAALLLLLS!!!]]"'''''; afterwards, the player makes a video showing that said character is broken. * One creator to make an inaccurate version of the character screwing the lightbulb in. * One player who only uses this character for fighting anything more or in equal in power as an SNKBoss. ---Tropers/TourqeGlare:\\ '''How long does it take Comander Riker to screw in a lightbulb?'''\\ Riker's too busy screwing other things. ---Iambic:\\ '''How many Marxists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'''\\ None, the lightbulb contains the seeds of its own revolution. similarly, '''How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'''\\ None, it turned itself in. '''How many jugglers does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Just one, but you need at least three lightbulbs. '''How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Pfft, ''techies'' change lightbulbs. * Alternately, the entire cast of the show: one to try to screw in the bulb, one to go get a techie because actors are incompetent, and the others to watch in utter amazement. '''How many Shakespeare scholars does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ 13. One to comb through primary documents looking for what kind of lightbulb it should be, one to analyze the symbolism of light in the later tragedies, two to debate whether the Quarto or Folio lightbulb is a more accurate representation, six more to hold a roundtable discussion, one to insist that Jonson's lightbulbs were better, one to claim that it was really the Earl of Oxford's lightbulb, and one to declare that lightbulbs aren't original practice and light a candle instead. ---Ronfar:

'''How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ How many can you afford? '''How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ "Don't worry about me, I'll just sit in the dark..." '''How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark. '''How many Real Women does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ None. A Real Woman would have plenty of Real Men around to do it for her. '''How many {{NPC}}s does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ [[WelcomeToCorneria How many NPCs does it take to change a light bulb]]? ---Not a doktor\\ '''How many DIY-ers does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ One, but he won't shut up about the new energy saving bulb during dinner. ---Rogue0009\\ '''How many Leaf Village ninja does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Three, but you'll have to sit through 2 years worth of filler first. ---movie007\\ '''How many elitists does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Ten. One to screw in the light bulb - and the other nine to act superior about how they still use ''real'' bulbs, unlike the unwashed masses who use those inferior pseudo-bulbs. ---Tropers/FusionDragon\\ '''How many time-travellers does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Three... but the lightbulb refused to change. ---Tropers/PanicintheStreetsofLondon\\ '''How many [[TeamFortress2 Engineers]] does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Three: one to get the metal, one to build it, and one to sap it because he's really a spy. ---'''How many Californians does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Ten. One to change the lightbulb and nine to share in the experience. '''How many Oregonians does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\

Three. One to change the lightbulb and two to fend off all the Californians trying to share the experience. ---'''How many Khorne Berserkers does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD RAWRRR!!!! [break] You mentioned lightbulb? '''How many Tzeentch Sorcerers does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ None. It has already been changed. Or one, whose plan it was all along. '''How many Nurgle worshippers does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ None, it does not need to be changed. Grandfather Nurgle has blessed the bulb with brokenness. '''How many Slaanesh cultists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'''\\ Any number of them, but they need to find a way in. '''How many Imperial Guardsmen does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ A hundred: one to change the bulb, and ninety-nine to give their lives on the front line in the Emperor's name ---'''How many presidents does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ One, but first they'll blame the previous administration for not changing it sooner (regardless of if it needed to be changed then, or even does now), then they'll promise to do something about it during their time in office. 4 years later they'll be up for election again and blame the previous president and the opposite party for preventing them from changing the lightbulb and promise to make sure that lightbulb gets changed in the next term. During their 2nd term a bill will be proposed to form a commission to investigate whether or not we need to change the bulb, but because of some of the stuff in the bill it will be voted down (because while the idea of changing the bulb is good is it really a great idea to spend $50 million on studying the wattage?). Then Al Gore will show up and spend the next few days on every talk show blameing the lightbulb for Global Warming. After their 2nd term, when the bulb is STILL not changed they'll pass it on to the next guy, restarting the whole process. ---[[Tropers/PoochyEXE Poochy.EXE]]\\ '''How many [pick one: AOL, Comcast, Microsoft, D-Link, etc.] customer service representatives does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ 487. One to ask for the registration number of the light bulb, one to repeatedly state that changing the light bulb is important to the company and they'll do it at the first available opportunity, one to repeatedly insist the old light bulb works just fine, one to state that it must be the socket's problem and not the old light bulb, one

to state that it's the faulty wiring and not the socket or old light bulb, one to repeatedly ask if you would like to upgrade to a brighter light bulb that costs three times as much, one to sign you up for the brighter light bulb even though you didn't ask for it, one to tell you why you shouldn't cancel your new brighter light bulb service, one to transfer the task to the billing department, one to transfer the task to the tech support department... '''How many soap opera characters does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Find out on the next episode. '''How many Wikipedia editors does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ [[strike:One.]] [[strike:Two.]] [[strike:One.]] [[strike:Two.]] [[strike:One.]] [[strike:Two.]] [[strike:One.]] [[strike:Duck season!]] [[strike:Wabbit season!]] The neutrality of this article is disputed. Please see the discussion on the talk page. Please do not remove this message until the dispute is resolved. '''How many StopHavingFunGuys does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Seven. One to change it while proclaiming that those who don't use a ladder are dumb, one to complain that using a ladder makes it too easy and thus is cheating, one to say that using a ladder is perfectly fine if you don't hold onto it with your hands, one to insist that the light bulb has to be changed again since the use of a ladder means it doesn't count, one to tell the first guy that he should have screwed in the light bulb with his left hand, one to say that the new light must be a fluorescent tube because an incandescent light bulb has a different shape, and one to state that light bulbs should all be changed on Final Destination without realizing he's in the wrong conversation. ---Tropers/{{Charlatan}} '''[[InSovietRussiaTropeMocksYou How many lightbulbs does it take to change a Russian?]]''' ---'''How many KDE 4.0 users does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Plasma has crashed. ---Tropers/GGCrono\\ '''How many SlashFic writers does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ None. The lightbulb ''obviously'' belongs with the kitchen sink, and if you can't see than then you're just a stupid whore. ---Gendoikari1\\ '''How many Apple fanboys does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ &#8734;. One to change the lightbulb, one to break the news that Apple has released a newer model, one to buy the newer model, one to change

the lightbulb, one to break the news that Apple has released a newer model... ---Tropers/ZanderSchubert\\ '''How many clarinetists does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Only one, but they need to go through a dozen bulbs before finding the one that works the best. '''How many anglophiles does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ It's "lightglobe", you stupid American! '''How many [[NineNetwork Channel Nine]] viewers does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Both of them. ---Tropers/MeiYouMayo\\ '''How many Wesleyan University students does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ That's racist. '''How many Star Trek fans does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Nine. One to change it, one to complain that the new lightbulb wasn't screwed in by William Shatner, three to say that this new lightbulb erases and negates all the light shed by the first lightbulb, four to say that they like the new lightbulb, and the other four to grudgingly agree that the new lightbulb is pretty good. ---Tropers/{{Be}}\\ '''How many members of Parliament does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ One. Unfortunately, the discussion over whether the bulb needs changing will dominate proceedings for three months before Question Time gets their hands on it and drafts in a number of TalkingHeads to give their opinions on the lightbulb crisis. Meanwhile, the British media will give their own views on it - the Times will report the events as they happen, the Independent will report the events as they'd like it to happen, the Guardian will report the events but pretend they're reporting on the story of the events, the Daily Express will claim a faulty lightbulb was the reason for Diana's death, the Daily Mail will complain about the price electricians from Poland are quoting to come to England, take our jobs and change our lightbulbs, the Sun will ask page three girl Ami, 21, from Essex her thoughts on the subject and the Star will bury it under pages of celebrities caught in compromising positions. Naturally, HaveIGotNewsForYou will have a field day on the whole affair, reaching a high point when ex-Prime Minister Tony Blair accepts the offer to host the show and spends most of his time savaging the increasinglybeleaguered Gordon Brown. Two months after the House of Commons has voted on whether to change the bulb or not (and won a narrow victory, 179-155, thanks to the efforts of Nick Clegg, Liberal Democrat leader, who has finally recognised he will never actually get into power and

is now content to be as ridiculous as possible) and the matter has passed to the House of Lords, Harriet Harman is outed as a closet member of the KKK and the resultant firestorm is so far-reaching, everybody completely forgets about the matter of the burned-out lightbulb. Just as [[TheThickOfIt Malcolm Tucker]] [[XanatosSpeedChess planned all along]]. ---This Wicked Day '''How many Bill Gateses does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ None. He calls a meeting and makes darkness the industry standard. '''How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Only one, but the bulb has to want to change. '''How many hippies does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ One hundred: one to change it and 99 to share the experience, man. ---Icchuchu '''How many Pokemon trainers does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ 1) Just one, but if the trainer is Ash Ketchum, we'll have to wait for him to train for a while.\\ 2) Seven. One to try and change it, the second to stand around and say how to do it, a third to look cute, a fourth to say what an awful job the first is doing, and the last three to try and hinder the first one's progress. ---Zotamorf '''How many Candle Jacks does it take to change a li''' ---[[Tropers/PoochyEXE Poochy.EXE]]:\\ Found this one on Twitter, apparently originating from Drew Carey ([=@DrewFromTV=]): '''How many NBC execs does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ I hope you like living in the dark! ---Tropers/{{Theologica}} Taken from the Anglicans DeviantArt page: '''How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?''' Four - one to call a Vestry meeting, one to call the Electrician, one to pour the tea, and one to complain about how the old lightbulb was better. ----

Tropers/UnderlordZ '''How many of the world's strongest men does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Eleven. One to hold the bulb, and ten to turn the house around. ---Tropers/{{Roxor}} I've had this one sitting around in a text file for over a decade because, although I like it, [[OverlyLongGag the answer is too long to memorise]]. '''How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ 1,331:\\ 1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light bulb has been changed.\\ 14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.\\ 7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.\\ 27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.\\ 53 to flame the spell checkers.\\ 156 to write to the list administrator complaining about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list.\\ 41 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames.\\ 109 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this email exchange to alt.lite.bulb.\\ 203 to demand that cross posting to alt.grammar, alt.spelling and alt.punctuation about changing light bulbs be stopped.\\ 111 to defend the posting to this list saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts ** are** relevant to this mail list.\\ 306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique, and what brands are faulty.\\ 27 to post [=URLs=] where one can see examples of different light bulbs.\\ 14 to post that the [=URLs=] were posted incorrectly, and to post corrected [=URLs=].\\ 3 to post about links they found from the [=URLs=] that are relevant to this list which makes light bulbs relevant to this list.\\ 33 to concatenate all posts to date, then quote them including all headers and footers, and then add "Me Too."\\ 12 to post to the list that they are unsubscribing because they cannot handle the light bulb controversey.\\ 19 to quote the "Me Too's" to say, "Me Three."\\ 4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ.\\ 1 to propose new alt.change.lite.bulb newsgroup.\\ 47 to say this is just what alt.physic.cold_fusion was meant for, leave it here.\\ 143 votes for alt.lite.bulb. ----

'''How many [[{{Naruto}} Uchiha clan members]] does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Only one, but [[SpotlightStealingSquad all of them will turn up anyway]]. ---Tropers/KarlzBelena '''How many music fans does it take to change a lightbulb?''' Just one. But then they all stand around bitching about how much better the old one was. ---Tropers/{{Moocow1452}} '''How many Programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ One, provided they stop whining about previous iterations. ---Tropers/{{Andrusi}} Only one, but he needs to be careful, or this could get weird.\\ '''How many time travelers does it take to change a light bulb?''' ---Tropers/MetaFour '''How many indie music fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ None. Haven't you heard? Light bulbs used to be cool, but now they're way too corporate. Total sellouts. '''How many ''GunnerkriggCourt'' characters does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ Only one, but [[KudzuPlot by the time they change it, five more will have burned out]]. '''How many [[WildMassGuessing Wild Mass Guessers]] does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'''\\ The bulb is actually the TARDIS of a Time Lord trapped in Purgatory, so the question is moot. ''I can't take credit for this one:''\\ '''How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'''\\ Two, but don't ask me how they got in there. ---Tropers/MrUnderhill '''How many [[MassEffect Turian Councillors]] does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'''\\ Ah yes, "lightbulbs." The incandescent vacuum tubes which allegedly provide artificial light with an electric current. [[GasLeakCoverup We have dismissed that claim.]] Also, [[HypocriticalHumor you humans]] [[RunningGag are all racist!]]

---Tropers/{{TheCuza}} '''How many /v/irgins does it take to replace a regular lightbulb with a fluorescent lightbulb?'''\\ Well, first you need 10 to complain about how [[TheyChangedItNowItSucks it looks too different from the last lightbulb]], 10 to complain about how [[ItsTheSameNowItSucks it's a rehash of the last lightbulb because it does the same thing]], 10 to complain about how [[ItsEasySoItSucks changing a lightbulb doesn't take enough skill]], 20 to complain about how [[NostalgiaFilter lightbulbs these days are casual shit compared to how they used to be]], and 450 to argue about [[ConsoleWars which brand of lightbulb is the superior choice]]. So how many /v/irgins does it take to change a lightbulb? None. You can't pirate lightbulbs, silly. ---Hitler,Lick How many golden means does it take to change a light bulb? 1/2 to leave it half turned.

How many memes does it take to change a light bulb? How many X change a light bulb? How many X change a light bulb? How many rapidshares does it take to change a lightbulb? You are already changing a lightbulb. Please wait until you have finished changing your current lightbulb. 'Ow any meks does it takez to change a lightbulb? Na, dat ain't orky yet. Add moar spikey bitz, paint it red, put on more shootas and den we 'ave a proper bulb! ---Tropers/SaraJaye: '''How many kittens does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Who cares?! [[CutenessProximity They look SOOOOO KYOOOT trying to wrap their itty-bitty paws around the big light bulb, awwww~]] '''How many StopHavingFunGuys does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Their way is the ''only'' way to change a light bulb, so only one is needed! Fluorescent only, no ladder, FINAL DESTINATION!! ----

Tropers/{{Gerusz}} '''How many supporters of the Many Worlds Interpretation of quantum mechanics does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ None. An infinite number of parallel universes is created in every quantum event, and the probability of the bulb repairing itself is greater than zero, thus the bulb has already repaired itself in an infinite number of universes. '''How many supporters of the Koppenhagen-interpretation of quantum mechanics does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ None. The probability of the bulb repairing itself is greater than zero, thus they only have to wait for the bulb to repair itself. ---Anonymous '''How many sopranos does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ Three. One to screw it one, one to tell her how to do it, and one to complain about how she would have done it better. '''How many altos does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ Two. One to screw it in, and another to screw it in again when the first one fumbles it with her manhands. '''How many tenors does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ Two. One to screw it in, and one to make sure the other's hair stays perfect. '''How many basses does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ Ten. One to screw it in, eight to figure out how, and one to sit smugly with the sopranos while the others make fools of themselves. ---Paul '''How many George Lucases does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ None. The new light bulb was already in there. ---Glooble '''How many tropers does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Just one, but he'll try and use his favorite lightbulb even if it doesn't really fit into the socket. '''How many [[{{Uplift}} Episiarchs]] does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Just one. The problem is getting it to stop changing it. '''How many witches does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ What do you want it changed into? ---Petersohn

'''How many gorillas does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Only one, but a lot of lightbulbs. ---Tropers/{{Snes}} '''How many Christians does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ Three, but they're really one. '''How many [[DwarfFortress dwarfs]] does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ [[color:Red: Zasit Likotthabost, Fish Dissector cancels Screw in Bulb: Job item misplaced.]] ----Tropers/DrThinker '''How many PC CartoonActionHour: Season Two heroes does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ One but you better get the player some OOMPH for doing it.

'''How many members of Blackskull Empire does it take to change a light bulbs?'''\\ Ten One to notice the dead light bulb. One to shoot it out of the dead bulb out of the sock. One to repair the socket. One to steal one from Haven. Four to battle the Guardians of Iconia. One to finally get one from Nekkrottus's stock room and one to place the bulb. '''How many members of Warbots does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ One but all you will be getting is light bulb dust. ----"How many meta-comedians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"\\ Two one to screw in the bulb and one to tell the joke. "How many tropers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"\\ 91 so far one to screw in the bulb and 90 to post TroperTales about it. ----Megabyter5: "How many monks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"\\ One - But they don't get Change Lightbulb until 12th level, and they can only use it once a day in a round they haven't taken a move action or used their Breathe class feature (gained at 5th level). "How many paladins does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"\\

One and only one - They will take it upon themselves to personally remove the darkness the peasants are opressed by, [[LawfulStupid no matter what it takes.]] "How many druids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"\\ None. Druids lose all class features if they screw in lightbulbs, but it's not like it matters since they're so [[GameBreaker broken.]] "How many lightbulb jokes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"\\ Probably all of them - You'd have a lot of trouble finding one that depicts a method that would actually work. ----Tropers/WanderlustWarrior: '''Q''' How many tropers does it take to change a light bulb?\\ '''A''' Three. One to say [[WordCruft "how was this light bulb not screwed in yet?"]] One to screw in the light bulb, and a third to cancel the first's statement one how the light bulb wasn't screwed in, long after the light bulb had actually been screwed in.

'''Q''' How many tropers does it take to change a light bulb?\\ '''A''' [[FiveManBand Five.]] One to [[YouKnowThatThingWhere You Know that Burnt Out Lightbulb There...]] it, [[ThreeRulesOfThree Three]] to list all the burnt out light bulbs that come to mind so that some early progress can be made, the fifth to determine if we really need this light bulb screwed in, and [[NoLaunchingPlease preferably the first]] to actually screw it in. '''Q''' How many parents does it take to change a light bulb?\\ '''A''' None. Menial tasks are what children are for. ----This troper's favorite lightbulb joke goes as follows:\\ '''How many musos (people passionate about music) does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ It's an obscure number; you've probably never heard of it. ----Tropers/digitrev '''How many euphoniumists does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Two, one to change it, and the other to insist that it's a euphonium they play, not a baritone. '''How many bassoon players does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ One, but the baritone saxophonist probably could have done it just as well. ---Tropers/RedWren '''How many {{Anti Humor}}ists does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\

Two. One to screw in the light bulb, and one to hold the ladder. If the light bulb is sufficiently close to the ground, only the former is required. ---Tropers/Aquila89 '''How many perverts does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ One, but it takes an ambulance to take it out. ---Tropers/JosiedeVivre "How many Spartans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"\\ '''''300!''''' ----\\ Tropers/SakuraRurouni '''How many International Baccalaureate students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'''\\ One to screw in the lightbulb, and thirty more to reflect on the process. ----\\ Tropers/OMalley "How many -insert ethnic group here- does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"\\ One. It's not really that hard. ---\\ '''How many Lharis does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to ask a Mentorian what color it is. '''How many Corellians does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Two, One to do the job and the other to declare "This is not gonna work." '''How many Jawas does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Three. One to hold the bulb while the two others go and hunt down a droid to do the job. '''How many light bulbs does it take to change a werewolf?''' ---[=NanoElite666=]\\ '''How many beers does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ As many as it takes to get the room spinning. ---[[@/{{MiraShio}} Mira-chan]]\\ '''How many players of The Game does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ You just lost.

---'''How many Adeptus Mechanicus Techpriests does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Three: one to hold the ladder, one to turn the bulb, and the third to swing the incense. ---'''How many [[DragonBallZ Saiyans]] does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Just one, but it will take him four episodes to do it. '''How many [[{{Fansub}} fansubbers]] does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Ichi (Translator's note: ichi means one).[[hottip:*:Actual translator's note: one ''person'' is "hitori".]] ---[[@/{{Snowsky}} Snowsky]]\\ '''How many {{Harry Potter}} fans does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Six. One to say "Accio Extra Light Bulb!", one to try to magically screw it in but fail, two to argue if there actually is a magic way to put in a light bulb, one to screw it in, and one to mock the secondto-last-one for doing it like a Muggle. '''How many [[{{Portal2}} personality cores]] does it take to change a lightbulb?''' SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE! ---'''How many Translators does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ It really depends on the context. ---Zoot14:\\ '''Q''' How many sorcerers does it take to change a lightbulb? \\ '''A''' That depends, into what? ---SenseiLeRoof:\\ '''How many RockBand players does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Four, but one will lose contact with the bulb accidentally. Or because they don't like [[ThatOneBoss Metallica]]. '''How many AMVHell contributors does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ At least fifteen, especially after a badly-synced turn by some newbie in the middle. '''How many time travelers does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Huh, the light works after all. Will ya look at that.

---Tropers/{{Homestar09_Mario08}} '''How many [[YouTubePoop YTPers]] does it take to change a lightbulb?\\ 3 -one to [[TheLegendOfZeldaCDiGames wonder what's for dinner]], one to [[Animated/TheLegendOfZelda EXCUUUUUSE me, princess!]], and one to [[HotelMario make lotsa spaghetti]]. [[AdventuresOfSonicTheHedgehog And that's NO good!]] ---Tropers/{{Bwburke94}} '''How many /b/tards does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ OVER NINE THOUSAND!! ---Tropers/KevinW '''How many Arizona State freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ None. It's a senior-level course. A variation:\\ '''How many Arizona State freshmen does it take to hang an Elite Eight banner in Wells Fargo Arena?'''\\ It doesn't matter, they're never going to reach the Elite Eight anyways. ---Tropers/{{Bwburke94}} again '''How many Pokmon trainers does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ One, assuming they hacked themself a level 100 Arceus and eight gym badges like everyone else did. ---Tropers/{{StongRadd}} * '''How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?''' ** [[{{Smashtasm}} One, because gender-related jokes based on hair color are demeaning and sexist.]] * '''How many YaoiFangirls does it take to screw in a light bulb?''' ** That depends on whether there aren't at least two dudes in the room. * '''How many YuriFans does it take to screw in a light bulb?''' ** That depends on whether there aren't at least two chicks in the room. ---[[@/DaPatman DaPatman]]

'''How many SCPFoundation members does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ [[http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-033 Theta Prime]]. ---Tropers/{{Beacon80}} '''How many Hobbits does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ This is a fantasy setting, you twit. '''How many DresdenFiles wizards does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Two. One to change the bulb and a second to get another light bulb when that one immediately burns out. '''How many Snopes writers does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ None. The light bulb didn't really go out. It's a common misconception, but it was actually a tripped circuit breaker. '''How many [[PercyJackson Sons of Poseidon]] does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ None. That's lightning, which is Zeus's territory. '''How many [[XenaWarriorPrincess warrior princesses]] does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Just one, but she'll bring along her "companion" anyway. ---Tropers/MasamiPhoenix '''How many ninjas does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ No fucking clue, they changed it while I wasn't looking. '''How many Sith does it take to screw over a universe?'''\\ Always two there are.

---Tropers/Zanreo '''How many forum members does it take to change a light bulb?''' 1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed,\\ 14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently,\\ 7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs,\\ 1 to move it to the Lighting section,\\ 2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section,\\ 7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light

bulbs,\\ 5 to flame the spell checkers,\\ 3 to correct spelling/grammar flames,\\ 6 to argue over whether it's [[SpellMyNameWithAnS "lightbulb" or "light bulb"]] ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid,\\ 2 industry professionals to inform the group that [[TakeAThirdOption the proper term is "lamp"]],\\ 15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct,\\ 19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum,\\ 11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum,\\ 36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty,\\ 7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs,\\ 4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's,\\ 3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group,\\ 13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too",\\ 5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy\\ 4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?",\\ 13 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs", and\\ 1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again. ---R5h '''How many egoists does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Depends... what's in it for them? '''How many solipsists does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ What lightbulb? '''How many Maori does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\\ There really isn't a good joke to go with this, so... just one, yeah. ---Tropers/TheRedRedKroovy '''How many ''JerseyShore'' castmates does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'''\\ None. They screw in the hot tub instead. '''How many Floridians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'''\\ Six. [[OnlyInFlorida One to get tazed while trying to screw it in, one

to get eaten by an alligator, one to find out that it's a British WRTL Arc lighting system and that his bulb won't fit, one to get attacked by an unstoppable army of snakes, one who had to ignore the bulb because his vote got messed up by a hanging chad and he had to go to court to get that settled, and one to finally put it in.]] [[ShootTheShaggyDog Only for the house to get destroyed by a hurricane anyway.]] ---{{smittykins}} '''How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Only one, but it takes a long time and the light bulb has to want to change. '''How many Christian Scientists does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ None to change it, but one to sit and pray for the old bulb to come back on. '''How many government bureaucrats does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Let's see. One to spot the burned-out bulb, one to authorize a requisition, twelve to file requisition copies, one to deliver the requisition order to the purchasing department, one to order the bulb, one to forward the purchasing order, one to fill the order, one to receive the bulb . . .

---Tropers/Outsyder0486:\\ '''How many University of North Texas students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'''\\ Two: one to steal a lightbulb-changing tradition from another university, and one to change it. '''How many Texas A&M students does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ The changing of the lightbulb is a hallowed tradition and will not be divulged here.\\ Alternatively, 1,000: one to change it and 999 to loudly talk about how they changed it better than the University of Texas. '''How many University of Southern California students does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ None of them. [=USC=] is currently banned from changing lightbulbs due to recruiting violations.\\ Alternatively, just one, but the [=NCAA=] will force him to vacate the changing in five years. '''How many Sun Belt colleges does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\

Two: one to change it and one to become ecstatic that someone's actually mentioning the Sun Belt. '''How many Dallas Cowboys players does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ What does it matter? Jimmy Johnson wouldn't have let that bulb burn out! '''How many Washington Redskins players does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ None - Dan Snyder just buys a new lightbulb. '''How many Cincinnati Bengals players does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Thirty - one to change it and 29 to run from the cops. ---Tropers/Ometta7 '''How many Juggalos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?''' Just one, so long as them lying scientists don't meddle with out light-bringing miracles and shit! '''How many zombies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?''' What are you, a moron? Zombies have no use for light! ---Tropers/LimeTH ''' How many {{Pokemon}} does it take to screw in a lightbulb?''' I don't know, the number increases every year. ---'''How many trumpet players does it take to change a lightbulb?''' None. They can just fake the changes. How many mouse clicks does it take to change a light bulb?\\ I don't know, but it only takes one to go back to the LightBulbJoke page.

LightningCanDoAnything * This troper's brother-in-law has recently been suffering from some health problems, and a few weeks ago, he was struck by a bolt of lightning. He suffered no ill effects, and for the next few days, he felt much better than usual - the pain he had been in subsided for a while, and his energy levels were much higher than before.

LikeAnOldMarriedCouple * Was told this recently by the resident ShipperOnDeck, much to

[[{{Tropers/Mercurius}} this troper's]] delight and her not-husband's dismay and disturbance. * In high school, this boy and I loved to get into arguments. I was never attracted to him in the slightest, which made my response to people invoking this trope something along the lines of, 'Okay, do I need to call the doctors in white coats or the DEA (drug enforcement agency)?' Unfortunately, that made people decide I was in denial. I'm not really sure how the boy felt about it, but 1.) he always had a girlfriend, and 2.) I secretly suspected he was gay. All that said, I did care for him as person more than I was, at the time, willing to admit. * This troper is in High School now and she frequently gets into arguments with a long time friend of hers. We frequently switch between yelling and cursing at each other to laughing and joking and helping each other with schoolwork and tests. This of course makes people think we like each other when we don't. It's gotten so bad even the teachers think we like each other. But I don't like him like that and he doesn't like me like that. Besides he's a {{BigManOnCampus}} with crazy {{fangirls}}. The last thing I need to deal with is his psychotic fangirls. * [[{{Tropers/MsChibi}} This Troper]] has a friend whom she constantly snarks at and who constantly snarks back at her. But he is not her boyfriend, and though she thinks he's attractive, she knows he's really not her type. * This troper actually has this relationship with two people: a guy from high school that I still hang out with who people constantly assume I'm married to because of the way we treat each other, and another guy from college whom I'm really good friends with, but happen to fight with all the time. * This tropette shared four of six classes with a guy friend back in high school. If given the chance, we will argue everything and anything (most are intellectually related, given that we were both nerds). The week where we didn't argue was after our biology teacher dropped the trope on us after seeing us bicker during a lab session. Awkwardness ensured for that week, but we were soon back to it in no time. Though there were never any rumours surrounding us, due to one not expressing any desire to date anyone (him), and the other being the epitome of quirkiness (me). * [[{{Tropers/Krytenia}} This Troper]] has a female friend; a mutual (male) friend described us as this, at which point I replied simply "Yeah, we argue all the time and never have sex." The slap I got from her after saying this [[HenpeckedHusband didn't help her case much.]] * [[{{Tropers/Xifihas}} This (male) Troper]] was once told that my dad and I were arguing like an old married couple. The person who said this, my mom. Things got really awkward quickly. * This troper and a guy in her class have been called this and at once we both started to deny it, to the point where the person who called them this said, "Further proof!" and then we both shut up. I'm pretty sure the teacher thinks this as well, because she never says anything during our spats. There might be some UST, but we're definitively friends. * Played with for me when someone I know commented that it would be

funny if me and a guy in my math class got married because we always bitched at each other about pointless stuff. * Disturbingly invoked during this troper's math class. With me, a 13year-old, and a kid 4 months younger than me, currently 12. Awkward. I act like a [[{{Adult Child}} 6-year-old.]] The rest of my friends act ''4.'' So I'm a {{Team Mom}} and he's a {{Team Dad}}. ''Awkward.''

LikeBrotherAndSister * This troper is often accused of being interested in whoever the girl he hang out with the most is. In fairness, I treat all girls as if they were my sister (being kind, opening doors, comforting them etcetera) which probably seems like being interested in them and so it's just a matter of whoever is seen with me the most is thought of as my love interest. * This troper and his best friend are like brother and sister - she is at my dorm very often, and has spent more than one night there. She even once slept in my dorm room (admittedly, I was on the far side of the country at the time). And there is precisely zero chance of us ever dating. She is my best friend, and if anything were ever to happen to her, I'm going to make use of those martial arts classes I took. But SheIsNotMyGirlfriend. Mind you, if reality is a TV show, then someone is probably shipping us. ** Updating to add that we've actually gone to the point of calling each other brother and sister. We've even listed each other as siblings on Facebook. * When This Troper is asked if she and her [[PlatonicLifePartners best guy friend]] are dating (this happens quite frequently, much to our unending annoyance), we tell them we are exactly this. * This troper and her best friend are somewhat like this. Lots of people have assumed he has or had a crush on me (whether he did or not is unknown), but we are not dating. This got a bit better once this troper [[IncompatibleOrientation came out of the closet]]. * This troper and her male best friend are polar opposites (I'm very passionate, creative, art-and-language oriented; he's very reserved, analytical, math-and science oriented) We've been best friends for eight years. If my life were a fandom, the leading 'ship would be he and I, despite having zero romantic interest EVER- it's gotten to the point where when people ask if I'm dating him, I answer "I would, if it wouldn't be incest." People don't usually bug me about it after that. * This troper had a relationship like this in high school. Unfortunately, our peers constantly asking us about our relationship eventually drove her insane, and she began to want to see less and less of me...[[UnluckyChildhoodFriend right when I realized I had liked her all along. Whoops.]] Sadly, the relationship was never salvaged. ** This Troper had this happen with his best friend, but it ended before High School. When she moved to Georgia. I was not amused. ** Switch the genders and that is ''exactly'' what happened to this Troper. We're still friends (Which drives his girlfriend insane), but we're not as close as we once were.

** Also happened to this troper. I was so tearful when our friendship died... * This troper's been told that her best friend has to be a male clone of her. Which is actually believable, but it would make [[BelligerentSexualTension our reputation]] more than a little [[{{Squick}} Squicky]]... * KrazehPenguin and all his friends fit together like some big family. * This is how [[Tropers/HopelessRomance I]] see my close male friend, who was my "date" to both junior and senior prom. My mom seems to [[ShipperOnDeck ship it]] enough that when I told her we went this photo booth at our Senior All Night Party where they "married" us, she seemed actually excited, despite it being a joke. She denies it whenever I point it out, but she's always saying things like "He's such a good ''friend'' for you!" * Hah, this troper has a guy friend she's known since preschool-- we fight, tease each other, share some interests, are pretty close-- kids at our school are SURE we "like" each other. Once, we were doing a play and tons of kids (who didn't know us) asked us if we were brother and sister. We replied: "We might as well be." * [[FreezairForALimitedTime This troper]] and her best friend have been HeterosexualLifePartners since middle school. While everyone (including our parents!) [[SheIsNotMyGirlfriend assumed we had a thing for each other]] for quite some time, we had similar thoughts to the above--"If we DID date, it would effectively be incest." Luckily, if RealLife is a TV show, there's zero chance of anyone {{shipping}} us now, due to the fact that said best friend has [[ComingOutStory come out]], and now probably has legions of {{Yaoi Fangirl}}s as an adorable, {{Keet}}-y {{Uke}}. * This troper as a situation like this, where we treat each other as 'the sister I never had' and 'the brother I never wanted'. It helps that her father thinks I'm gay, so he doesn't mind it when she comes to my place and we just talk until the sun rises. Her last boyfriend didn't find it so funny, though... * [[{{gadeel}} This troper]] and his best friend have known each other since before we could talk, and now we're both well into college, but people think of us as PlatonicLifePartners, so things that would be normally taboo for two people of the opposite sex are ignored with us. NotWhatItLooksLike situations were really not what they looked like, but there was some fun in tricking people in to thinking that we were doing ThisAndThat. * This troper met his best friend four or five years ago, and instantly fell in love with her. Turns out, despite it being OVER THE INTERNETS (Yes, on a video game. It was THAT NERDY,) she was around his age, interested in everything he was interested in, we got along perfectly, etc...cut to a few months back, [[TheStoic this troper]] is brokenhearted...for about [[HeroicSociopath five minutes]]. Cut to yesterday, and he finally, finally, after so much work, got to the point, "I love you...but you're like my little sister, now." And goddamn it, it certainly took enough work. * RadioactiveZombie's best friend of last year (we seriously need to get back in touch - DAMN YOU, COMPUTER!) was an attractive girl... and yet, we've never flirted with each other.

* This troper used to have a bit of an UnresolvedSexualTension with an acquaintance of his for about a year in high school. He knew it, she knew it, everyone who had seen them in the same room together knew it. Unfortunately, he was too chickenshit to do anything about it for a full year, and even then it was more "getting to know her with the intention of maybe perhaps eventually going on a date with her potentially." To this day, we both not only deny that we're dating to anyone who asks ''and'' any attraction before becoming friends, but we just outright cut out the middleman of confusion with "we're just friends... LikeBrotherAndSister" and go straight to "We're siblings, [[BrotherSisterIncest that's]] [[Squick disgusting]], go away. * This troper is asexual. She has fallen in love with one guy in her life. She has a lot of good male friends. Nobody ever, EVER believes this speech. ** I do. * [[GalenDev This Troper]] has to consistently convince strangers that he is not in fact dating his best female friend. It has gotten to the point where he gets increasingly frustrated with the claim, even stating a non-existent familial relationship to shut them up. * This troper and his best friend are often accused of being gay despite the fact that he's in a long term monogamous relationship with his girlfriend and this troper dates women. Like Brother and Brother I guess? * This troper and his girlfrien often do things to make us like this. * * A RealLife example with this troper's brother and his friend (1 year his junior). Hilariously, the rumor that they were 'an item' was so pervasive that she had to continue defending their pseudo-sibling status ''after he'd graduated.'' Even as his own sister, I would attest that they were solidly LikeBrotherAndSister. (This troper more or less 'adopted' her in the process, as well.) * This troper agrees with the above troper, having been in a relationship like this in highschool. In fact, the same rumors chased him around as well, to the point where the official boyfriend of his "adopted sister" was just about ready to punch his lights out. * This female troper is like brother and sister with this one guy she has known for 8 months so far. It just gets slightly creepy when he starts making sexual comments towards her...but nothing would ever happen between us because he's been crushing on this one girl from his high school for 2 years and I would never be interested in him after the whole practically-siblings thing was established (plus I've been crushing on/flirting with a lot of other guys)..Unfortunately [at least] one mutual friend has suggested that we were or were going to end up as a couple because we hung out a lot with each other for awhile * This troper has a friend like this. We met in my first year of college, we established that we have a hell of a lot in common, we're both [[DeadpanSnarker bitter smartasses]] with daddy issues, and I felt there was something there for a while, but she's taken, so we've stuck to the whole LikeBrotherAndSister shtick, and I'm really not complaining. She makes for an awesome sister. * This troper has a female friend with whom he can talk about pretty much anything, for hours on end, as if they'd known each other as well

as siblings. There's never been any romantic subtext, and her boyfriend is almost as close a friend with this troper as well. Meanwhile, said boyfriend's parents have at one point or another expressed suspicion that this troper and the female friend are hooking up. Argh. Thank heavens that said boyfriend doesn't believe it for a second. * Interlocking story with two of these; Girl 1 is one of my best friends. When we first became friends everyone who was anyone thought we were clandestinely doin' it(she had a boyfriend at the time). But it wasn't like that....until I suddenly realized that I was completely in love with her. There is also girl 2, who I really do have no romantic feelings for, despite her being a very good lookin' lady. Girl 2 was also madly in love with girl 1. Long story short, all three of us were hurt in the end, though I have largely kept my pain a secret. I realized that Girl 2 and I had this sort of thing going on for two reasons. One, Girl 2 didn't want to smoke(not tobacco, people) with me and me alone, because she thought that we might end up making out, and that it would be incest. I am inclined to agree. Reason number 2; Girl 2 was emo-ing over Girl 1 to this troper, and despite the fact that I am still pretty head over heels for girl 1, I am considering punching her in the face(just once, but with some effort) for what she(fairly unintentionally) did to Girl 2. * This troper has this with a girl he met in the first year of college. We bonded over our mutual geekiness (I introduced her to Firefly and [[BattlestarGalactica BSG]], she got me into Series/DoctorWho) and a couple of contemporaneous relationship issues, and for a while there a lot of people assumed we were together thanks to all the [[LikeAnOldMarriedCouple bickering]]. Rather worryingly, a good friend and my ex both thought [[NoJustNo we would end up together]]. I eventually started saying we were like the Doctor and Donna. Then we argued over who got to be the Doctor, and if we could be someone other than Ten. Yeah... * This troper has a pen-pal of almost a year. She can confidentally say that he is her best friend on this Earth and she worries about him and they're very close. BUT IT IS A PURELY _SIBLING-LIKE_ RELTIONSHIP. But if I so much as mention that he [[IfYouEverDoAnythingToHurtHer threatened a guy who wanted to date me]] or that he sent his birthday present poem to me at exactly midnight EVERYONE thinks it's a romance! God, man, we're like CONFIDANTES!! I am FED UP with having to deal with the accusation every freaking time! Can't a girl talk about her best friend anymore??!?!? Phew. Sorry for the rant. * I understand the person above in that one of my best friends since I was five is a girl who I literally view like a sister. I have given the If you ever do anything to hurt her spech to three different guys, and have been forced to back it up once as well. When she was involved in a serious car accident I went into BSOD for three weeks after which I remarked to her that I felt as bad as I would have done had my actual sister been hurt. * This troper's family has semi adopted someone. It's gotten to the point of this discussion: Me: She's like a sister to me.

Other person: You mean she's a good friend? Me: No. I hate her. She's really like a sister. * This troper strives to be the 'world's greatest big brother' due to being (essentially) an only child; I've got more sisters than I can count, really. I'd have to say the one I care for the most would have to be a girl I met on an MMO. I've known her for the past two years and have seen her (slowly) grow up, so it makes me feel like I've done something really important by bein' there for her. * This troper and his partner look very similar and often got mistaken for brother and sister. Then we kiss rather more passionately than is common for blood relations, and people get squicked. * This troper and his best friend, Kelly. They met in January 2009 during the Otronicon game/simulator convention when his band for the Rock Band competition randomly grabbed her on the basis that having a cute girl would make the judges give them a higher score by default. When in the same building, the two of them are inseperable and she once called him asking him to come over and cuddle with her while she watched ''Dead Silence'' because she doesn't have her boyfriend's number. Speaking of which, she's admitted she likes this troper more than her boyfriend in the first place. ** Oh, and as of August 29, 2009, they're dating now. ** Oh, and now both this troper's AND Kelly's mothers want them dating now. * Generally, this is what happens with gay guys and [[strike: straight]] all females. * This troper likes to adopt people. I tend to talk to them on my phone late at night, prompting 'Calling your boyfriend?' from my family. I usually reply 'No, that would be incest.' * This troper and her two best friends. Unfortunately, people keep assuming us to be in a three-way lesbian relationship. WE'RE NOT, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SACRED IN THIS WORLD. And, due to this trope, this troper's love life is doomed to crash and burn since she has a horrible crush on one of the two best friends. * This troper and her best friend who she has known since early childhood. It all started because their moms are best friends since high school and keeping it after since, and the friendship seems to grow on their son and daughter too. Both moms are so proud that even themselves announced to their other friends and colleagues that their children are as close as brother and sister (and always get the reply: "Why don't you just get them both engaged and married?"). Unfortunately this makes this troper develop a crush to so called brother and bouncing between the status {{Unlucky Childhood Friend}} and {{Victorious Childhood Friend}} until now. * This troper has been best friends with this guy since first grade. We're really close in our friendship being that we've been friends the longest out of anyone else. I've told him before myself that he's like the brother I never had. Twice before, people have actually asked us if we were brother and sister. * This lurker and his 95% lesbian friend. Our coupled friends are, of course, shipping us despite the fact that we are both more attracted to my actual sister than to each other (ie. 0% for me, considerably higher for her)

* This troper has three very close friends I consider to be my siblings, and one actual biological brother. Questions have been raised for all three non-biological sibs. I'm a girl. The one girl is asexual, one of the guys is gay, and the other guy is emotionally unavailable for several reasons. Add in the fact that the only one whose personality would make any kind of good match is my biological brother and that some of the age gaps are fairly wide. On top of that, people really seem to enjoy shipping my biological brother and non-bio sister who he also considers to be his sister. * When [[VeggiePopper This Troper]] realised his love for his best friend will be forever unrequited, in a final attempt to clarify things (and maybe get the girl), told her something in the lines of: "You know, I can't see a time when I like you only as a friend, at the most I might treat you like a sister". Then she took it literally and replied "Well, that's just fine, you more than a friend to me too, but I feel no attraction towards you, so yeah, let's have it that way". Since then, she calls me 'brother' and I ended myself calling her 'little sister', much to the chagrin of people around us who even today like to ship us together, which is sometimes creepy (I still have feelings for her somehow), but otherwise, I don't mind and I'm always the first one to support her with all of her crushes. Lovers come, overs go, but we're still togerher -'cause we're bro' and sis. * This Troper, with EVERY SINGLE GIRL HE'S EVER DATED (save the current one, thank god). It's like they don't even notice my attraction to them in that way at all. Partly my own fault, as I tend to be [[UnderStatement rather slow]] on building up a relationship. But, for a time, I was afraid I was going to end up a perpetual UnluckyChildhoodFriend. * This Troper is like this with her best friend. Everyone is convinced we are going out with eachother, and I do think hes good looking and a great guy, but it would just seem wrong if we started going out. We are alike in a lot of ways, and scarily, think alike. * The Troper and his best friend, although when it's just us two, we're pretty far from a platonic relationship. Half the time she tells me things she probably wouldn't have told her other best friends who were girls. And we've both seen each other various states of undress, and admitted we both find each other attractive, as well as flirt a lot. But don't let anybody WE know know that! * This Troper and his best friend. We're both gay and bicker LikeAnOldMarriedCouple, but there isn't a hint of sexual attraction in the slightest. This Troper's family and friends are constantly {{Shipping}} the two of us. * This Troper's mother had a good female friend in school, who had a girl that he grew up with, and despite not looking that much alike, were at least once confused to be siblings when they were children. She has started telling this to other people, and he quickly latched onto the idea, although his little sister teases them. * This female troper and her best friend have been LikeBrotherAndSister since kindergarten. So much so that even after I moved to a private school (in the same city as the public school, incidentally) and neither saw nor heard from him for 6 years until I moved back, we were instantly best friends again like we'd never been

separated. We've often crashed at each others houses after playing video games into the wee hours of the morning, though as soon as we admit to that, people automatically assume the worst or that we're 'an item'. Which is beyond irritating. Luckily, we go to separate schools (he moved away this time; unrelated reasons) so we don't have to deal with the immaturity of our peers. We're still teased incessantly, though people usually shut up when I ask if they're fans of incest. * This troper has a male best friend who has compared how he feels about her to how he feels about his sister. Very disappointing for this troper, who feels [[{{Understatement}}just a bit stronger than that about him.]] That having been said, we've both agreed we're PlatonicLifePartners, and this troper can only conclude that AllLoveIsUnrequited. * One of this troper's best friends is female, and he thinks of her this way. [[{{DeconstructedTrope}} Semi-Deconstruction]] (?) in that this troper takes family VERY seriously, and becomes [[{{BerserkButton}} absolutely enraged]] upon anyone aware of their relationship suggesting that they only call themselves siblings because the girl doesn't date younger men. * This troper got a text from her male friend saying that he saw her as a sister. Granted, there was [[UnluckyChildhoodFriend a lot more to it than that.]] * This troper has a rather lengthy story leading up to this. We lived around the corner from each other our entire lives, right up until she moved to university. We went to the same school and were always in the same classes. During very young childhood, we were really good friends. Then all of a sudden at about seven years old she started making fun of me/hitting me/teasing me etc. The relationship fell away for a while then, until we became friendly again at around ten. Then, this troper developed a crush on her, and admitted it to her in a very unsubtle and indirect way (though it was explicitly stated). Then we became fairly distant for about two years. Then I began to get over the crush and we went through a period of hating each other. Then at around fifteen we became lose friends again, then by chance fell into the same crowd of people at sixteen/seventeen, mostly due to a failed romantic relationship I had with her best friend. And for the past three/four years we've been LikeBrotherAndSister. Made better now by the fact that she has finally got herself a boyfriend, so now there's a way to get people to believe that we aren't interested in each other like that. And if he hurts her (unlikely, he's a nice guy) I'd smash his nose in. I think this qualifies, no? It may even qualify for UnluckyChildhoodFriend, as I'm still convinced there was a significant quantity of reciprocity of my affections for her, but in all honesty she's not my type. I don't lose any sleep over it. * [[Tropers/KamuiValentine This troper]] is like this with her closest friend. We didn't grow up together and didn't meet until this troper was fourteen and he was in his late teens. The fansite we met on jokes that we'd be a perfect match, if it wasn't for the sheer distance between us and the fact that this troper [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean bats for the other team.]] * I've got a friend like this. Our common ground being a love affair with ''{{Pokemon}}'' and being geniuses. But yeah. We get along well,

talk and joke often, but, like real siblings, never once have we breached the subject of relationships or feelings about others (unless we're ragging on someone). There is no spark. Luckily, no one seems to believe otherwise. * The only reasons that people never assume that my "brother" and I are dating are because we've often joked about us being separated at birth/actually brother and sister (we have the same hair color, complexion, eye color, etc, etc., so we occasionally make that joke to substitute teachers) and he has a girlfriend that he quite obviously loves very much, and I get along with her very well. But we stick up for each other and all that sibling-y stuff. ** What's really funny is he has the same birthday as my younger sister, just three years earlier, and looks more related to me than she does. * No matter how many times this troper pulls this card, her friends are convinced that me and my best guy friend are the perfect couple. And we've been shipped together since day 1, which was over four years ago. Thankfully, I have one supporter in a friend who told me that she cannot see me and this boy together at all. Now to try and convince everyone else... * This troper had this experience in first year high school. With a new student, no less. Who ACTUALLY called me an older brother. She doesn't call me that anymore, however. Back then, I was still recovering from [[NoodleIncident a shipping incident]], and, [[GenreSavvy predictably]], I was shipped with her for the rest of the year. Granted, it was sort of true, because I did have a crush on her, but we were still friends even after that. * Me and my best friend are really close and think of eachother as brother and sister. We are often shipped by other people we know, as we are both asexual and are not interested in other people in that way. We are so alike, more than any other people I have ever met. We share the same interests and have a similar personality-we could be twins! * In High School this female troper's best friends were a group of four guys who were all like my big brothers. The entirety of high school, everyone would ask which one I was dating, and I would respond "None of them. W is like my brother, so are X, Y and Z, and I don't think X, Y, and Z's girlfriends would appreciate it much either!" Though, there were incidents of crushing involved in the quintet at some points, turning it into a LoveDodecahedron that's HilariousInHindsight, but most often this trope was firmly in play. To this day, three of them are still like my big brothers. It was subverted though; the fourth is now my [[OneTruePairing fiance]]. * This troper and her friend have been like this for years. It's a really exaggerated example though, because we actually fight regularly like I do with my real brother. * When this troper's boyfriend in high school broke up with her, he made a comment saying my best friend and I would make a better couple, when he was truly like a brother to me. Doubly hilarious when said best friend disclosed the fact that he was gay... * This troper's best friend has told her she's like a little sister to him, and she thinks of him like a big brother. He's also happily

married. This does not stop many of her friends from continually asking whether or not there's anything between them, or if he's attracted to her, despite protests that they really are like brother and sister. * im a male teen, i knew this adult male who had been divorced and remaried, his daughter from his last marriage lives in another state, when she came to visit once and i met her for the first time, i kinda belived i liked her, but as i got to know her more(and as i relized she didnt like me that way) my relationship with her has gotten to be like this trope taken up to an eleven, aside from my family i love her more then any other human on this earth, but not in a sexual way at all, we have both called each other brother and sister many times. its a shame that we dont live in the same state, though we txt constantly. its interesting to note that i havnt had a serious crush since meeting her, i guess shes all the love i need... * This pageless troper has a pair of acquaintances who were frequently [[SheIsNotMyGirlfriend asked if they were dating]]. Apparently it was this trope being inverted, for the followup was generally a query about [[BrotherSisterIncest their biological relation to one another]]. Subverted in that they did eventually go in for a romantic overture. * This Troper used to be like this. Constantly being shipped. Check. Sibling-like arguments: Check. ''Actually being referred to'' as a brother (even though he isn't): Check. Mostly averted now. * Tropers/CorruptMaleMenace was recently forced to grudgingly admit this sort of a relationship with one of the girls in his uni-based {{Nakama}}, thus arguably downgrading him from CardCarryingVillain to JerkWithAHeartOfGold. It was kinda obvious anyway though - to the point where there were some [[ShipperOnDeck Shippers On Deck]] despite CMM being asexual. * [[@/{{Midna}} I]] have a very strange (and [[WeAreOurAvatars infamous]]) case of this for [[SuperdreadnoughtGirl4946 Mana Emiya]]... * This troper is said by my friend to be her older brother on acount of me being 6"1 and her being 4"11 acctualy being a age older then her being extremly protective of her slight aversion of the fact that she has said before she does have a crush on said troper * [[{{Tropers/Marr965}} Myself]] and my cousins. Not sure it really counts, and I very rarely get to see them, but since I'm an only child, I don't get many chances to act like an older brother. * This troper and one of her best friends. Everyone assumes we are dating, which [[BerserkButton is pretty much the only thing]] that can get me to go out of ShrinkingViolet mode around non-friends at school. Admittedly, said close friend used to have a crush on me, but... yeah, life's a lot less complicated now that I don't have to avoid him due to that fact and the fact that some of his friends used to go around shipping us (also much to my annoyance). XD ** Same troper again, we also have people convinced we're either blood siblings or adopted siblings. * This troper has a friend with whom he's only known for two years. When the two of us are together, people tend to laugh and tell us we're like brothers and sisters, the way we interact. "Hey - wait,

what?" "Wha?" "Wha?" "Shut up, you sound stupid." "HEY! You sound worse." yap yap yap. :) Thing is, I think we both have feelings for each other and to top it off, I have a girlfriend I love. So, her and I haven't hung out for ages - I don't even say hi to her anymore. It hurts, but I love my girlfriend and I know I would choose her over my 'sister'. However, that didn't stop her friends from shipping her and I together when she and I ended up together on the bus ride to and back several snowboarding trips with our high school. We both lean down to pick up something after something slips out of her hands and lands on the floor, we bump our heads into each other and look up only to be face to face. Less then a second later, genre-savvy me turns at lightning speeds to see her two friends looking rather excited and one with her jaw dropped. xD! It didn't help that the day she got sick while she was there, I was the one who took care of her and she ended up sleeping on my shoulder on the way back. Yes, this no longer fits the trope, no, I don't feel like myself today, and yes, I needed to write this down somewhere. next troper feel free to get rid of this. ^^ * How many times was I sleep troping on this page again? I'm basically the only person "sis" trusts. At all. Including (most?) of her actual family. * This Troper and her best male friend are definitely this. We've only known each other for about four years now, but we are ridiculously close and I probably get to hear more about his relationship than his current girlfriend does. Apparently, he also wards off certain boys that he thinks are bad news for this Troper, which is something she only recently found out about. ---Go back to Main/LikeBrotherAndSister, unless you're really [[BrotherSisterIncest more than friends]] after all. <<|TroperTales|>>

LikeParentLikeSpouse * [[Tropers/HersheleOstropoler My]] girlfriend and ex-girlfriend had the misfortune to have had fathers similar to me in personality, if not appearance. * My friend's mom was married to a total JerkAss before being dumped by him. She married my friend's JerkAss father and gave birth to my friend. She's a sweet, rather stupid woman who worships the ground her husband walks on. My friend is a sweet, hopeless romantic who dates JerkAss guys who treat her like dirt, trying to get love from them to make up for the fact her dad has never really loved her. * I've noticed that I tend to date guys who have some similarity to my dad. [[{{Megane}} Glasses]] for example, and a few [[SmokingIsCool smokers]], [[MustHaveCaffeine coffee drinkers]], musicians [[PowerOfRock (my dad plays a mean solo on the electric guitar)]].. ** This is not so {{Squick}}y to me, because I understand that this is because we seek familiarity in our partners. Makes sense that you'd want somebody who reminds you of your lovely childhood, right? ** Plus, my dad is a CoolOldGuy. Introduced me to PinkFloyd, LedZeppelin and other awesome musicians from before my time.

[[ProudToBeAGeek Yes, I listen to my dad's music]]. * This tropers friends boyfriend looks just like her dad. I got them confused once. * My mom fandom towards sports is what i like to consider "perfectly balanced" shes a fan of sports for sure,she owns plenty of cardinals merchandise, but ill never see her flipin out over a bad ref decision or a dumb play(cant say the same for my dad) i aprciate her not accting like a maniac compared to my dad so much, that her method of fandom is exactly the way i want my future wifes to be. * My boyfriend and my stepfather have much the same personality - the same grouchiness with the world, the same pessimism, and the same constant need to be picking on SOMEONE (usually me). The difference is that with my boyfriend, he does it with love and I find that its something which is necessary (if not always endearing). With my stepfather it always did (and does) make me want to hit him with a hammer. * It says a great deal about how much I worship my dad that the only man I've ever truly loved shared both my dad's intelligence and sense of humor. (Is this the only remotely happy entry on this page?) * This tropette hopes that if this is true, she finds someone more like her stepdad, who is a CoolOldGuy with a love of old rock (much like herself) and brilliant cooking (and parenting) skills, than her farther, a liar and loverat who left her and her mother when she was seven, right after she moved to a foreign country. ---Return to LikeParentLikeSpouse

LimitedWardrobe * [[Nintendude527 This troper]] owns two pairs of sweatpants, which I usually alternate between since I prefer sweats over jeans. * This troper has several shirts, butt the pants all look the same. Now the twist though. He -always- wears a T-shirt and his jeans. No matter the weather. It rains? Pah. Doesn't matter. The sun shines? Far to hot, but I won't change into anything else. Cold snowing winter outside? Alright, I might have to wear a jacket if I go out for more than 20 minutes. * This troper does this [[RuleOfFunny intentionally]]. He has a total of two "looks" (work, casual), and a winter variant for each look. Add in ''7 different colors'' for each piece of each outfit, and you have his wardrobe. He has the real life version of a Palette Swap outfit. ** Ditto for this troper. I'm not sure if it's because of my stint in the Army or not, but nowadays I just feel plain uncomfortable if I'm not in some sort of "uniform", even one assembled from random civilian clothing. * A friend of this troper wears the same sweater (and almost identical-looking pants) everyday. He explains that his mother does laundry several times a week. This troper has yet to point out that doesn't justify him wearing it all the time. * This troper has many pairs of the same brown pants and a jacket he is never seen without. Occasionally this troper wears green pants. * [[JohnnyBGoode This troper]] has a friend with about two sets of

clothes. Considering she is also abnormally small, is both a MoeMoe and a {{Meganekko}}, an otaku, and she speaks in a very stilted anime English, many of us believe she is an anime character. * This troper wears a red polo shirt and black pants every day. In the house he wears a black pair of shorts instead because his pants aren't as comfortable. He used to have really comfortable pants, but the bastards discontinued them (at least in black). * This Troper likes to do this a lot, only bringing out [[AvertedTrope Trope Averting Clothing]] on special occasions, like the Halloween Costume Contest at my Japanese club. Otherwise, my outfit consists of striped T-shirts (variety added with various patterns of stripes and of course PaletteSwap, but they're all T-shirts. Even in winter.). On school spirit week days, I have to actually plan in advance to ''avoid'' participation. (Due to athletic ineligibility (what kind of [[GratuitousJapanese baka]] thinks school spirit should be dependant on school sports?! Darn ten minute mile rule...), I could get in trouble if I participate.) Oh, and I ''always'' wear jeans to school. But at home (and in P.E. where it's a uniform requirement), I wear shorts. So more often than not, this trope applies * In high school ThisTroper was like this, believing it to be essential to being taken seriously by teachers. In college I finally grew out of it. Wearing collared shirts every day gets boring really quickly once you realize you're doing it. * Gray polo shirt, carpenter pants. Every weekday, without fail. The only way to tell the shirts apart is if they're covered in acrylic paint, ferric chloride, or ink. After six years of it [[{{Civanfan}} This Troper]] doesn't feel comfortable in anything else. * This contributor was tired of caring about what people thought of her puppy shirts and decided to dress so inoffensively and generically that nobody could find anything to criticize her wardrobe about. For a while, she was limited to models of the same pants (in different colors!) with slight variations, and the same patternless short sleeve shirt in different dark colors. She wore this year round, few exceptions. It got to the point where her friends jokingly excused her of dying the shirts between each usage. Thank goodness she's stopped... sort of. * Black Cargos and a Blue or Brown t-shirt.And one of 2 pairs of shoes. * Blue or black zippered hoodie, blue jeans, only one pair of shoes (the only one [[{{this-guy}} I]] own) and one of five t-shirts: TheBeatles, LedZeppelin, JimiHendrix, BobMarley and {{Ghostbusters}}. * I wore the exact same shirt, pants and shoes with identical socks for my martial arts class. I had them washed between uses, wearing different things at home. On the third day, I was asked if I showered. The laugh I gave in reply may have discouraged further conversation on the topic. * [[{{Nomic}} This troper]] has several nearly identical black shirts that he wears most of the time (sometimes he might wear his one blue or grey shirt instead). * DeuxHero might as well have this trope in effect, having little beyond blank (except some of the shirts haveing pockets) t-shirts, shorts, and pants (of verrying colors)

* [[{{evilpenguin556}} This Troper]] has very limited wardrobe. It consists of two t-shirts (a white one with the name of his film-group on it, and a black [[{{Frank Zappa}} Frank Zappa]] t-shirt), a flannel overshirt for whenever it gets cold outside, a single pair of jeans, three pairs of boxer shorts, a few pairs of socks, a pair of Blackspot sneakers, and a pair of Dr. Martens. He used to have a pair of plaid skinny jeans, but he gave them away to a friend, as he found them [[{{awesomebutimpractical}} inhibiting]]. Oh, but don't worry, he never doubles up on clothing (except the jeans) and washes all of it very often. * this Troper just received a call from her sister, apparently she can't borrow any of my dresses for prom because they're all black. * [[{{Twitch}} This troper]] generally wears one of eight identical black pocket t-shirts and six pairs of jeans, ironically, adopted after starting a job with no dress code. This troper was delighted at how it simplifies getting dressed, doing laundry and shopping for clothes, and usually only adds layers for cold weather. * This Troper's collection of clothing consists of: Three identical red shirts and three identical blue shirts in each of long and short sleeves, and about 8 identical pairs of blue jeans. * This Troper always wears identical (the only real difference is waist size) black pants every day that I have to dress up for work mainly due to the fact that I only have black dress pants and also the fact that I have a lot of open wounds on my thighs so that if they decide to bleed excessively during the day, I don't end with blood stains appearing on my pants at work. * Not quite as bad as the above, but [[MutantRancor this troper]] wears blue jeans, a solid-color T-shirt, and a solid-color jacket or unbuttoned solid-color button-front shirt. When it's too warm, I wear a solid-color T-shirt and blue jean shorts, and when it's too cold, blue jeans, a solid-color T-shirt, and a half-zip high-collared shirt, usually mad of fleece. Occasionally replace "blue jeans" with "khakis" or "corduroys" and you've got my complete wardrobe except for formal occasions. To top it all off, I have plenty of shoes, but almost always wear the same pair of khaki suede Sperry boating shoes (this troper does not have a boat, or for that matter, ever go on anyone else's boat--they're just very comfortable and durable). * Since Middle School, This Troper has always worn a jacket, a tshirt, jeans, and one pair of sneakers. I usually have a designated "usual" jacket and shoes for each school year (it's always a black or gray collared jacket, ''no'' hoodies). The one jacket/shoes will be worn every day, but the t-shirt and jeans will change. The jeans look almost identical: This Troper is stubbornly brand-loyal. On top of that, my clothing is always a couple sizes too big (It's suprisingly difficult for a teenage girl to find bland clothes). This inevitably leads to Troper's Mom becoming annoyed and confiscating my jacket near the end of each school year. * This trope pretty much defines this troper ** Work: black slacks with white button up dress shirt ** Around the house: black or khaki shorts with undershirt ** Other times: Blue or black jeans with a shirt. ** Often only really goes out on his days off so can probably be seen

in a similar shirt that he had on his last day off. * This troper usually ends up wearing one of two denim skirts every day. All this troper's shirts are the same style, differing only in color. Usually I wear the same sweater on a daily basis until it gets too worn out to use, then switch to a new favorite. This is somewhat of a problem, since this troper's mother thinks that this troper doesn't have enough clothes and buys stuff all the time. The result is a continuation of the default outfit and an overflowing closet. * If you see [[ARandomSerf this troper]], he will be wearing a black vest over some form of pullover shirt, generally with no design, and he will ALWAYS be wearing sweatpants (most likely grey or dark blue). Even if it's midsummer. * This troper's daily wear consists of white shirts and dark pants. The only variance is that there may be some kind of print on the shirt and a choice of several jackets for going out but only one pair of shoes. * This troper works full time and normally wears khakis and a T-shirt (there is a uniform, but it's so ragged and shabby I'm embarassed to wear it and I can't get another one). On her days off, she wears jeans and one of three shirts. * This troper, even though she ''does have'' more clothes than she wears, only uses three pairs of pants. A pair of black baggy pants, a pair of khaki baggy pants and a pair of baggy jeans. And all her shirts are loose and black (the print on them varies, though). * My wardrobe is like this. I have 3 pairs of jeans, two shorts, black dress pants, a blouse, and maybe about 10 t-shirts. My guy friend is worse with probably only 5 t-shirts. * [[{{Tropers/Lioyd}} This troper]] wears the exact same shoes and black hooded jacket every time he leaves home; he has exactly two identical black t-shirts and two quasi-identical pairs of trousers. Only the undergarments change. * You can instantly recognise this troper by sweater. Or rather, the four sweaters he is always wearing. Always, even in warm weather. While the rest of the kit changes from day to day, the troper can be recognised wearing one of two distinctive cream REEBOK jumpers, a plain grey one, or a white Surrey Plant one. * [[{{Xaris}} This troper]] has two types of outfits he usually wears: a blue shirt and tan pants for work and a band shirt (either {{Rush}}, IronMaiden or BlackLabelSociety), a pair of jeans and a full head covering bandanna for days off. * All of this troper's shirts are identical, and the same goes for his pants. I wear the same hoodie every day, so it really looks like I'm never changing my clothes, though one shirt somehow suffered a bleach stain and it's ruined the effect. * I wear one pair of jeans and maybe 5 shirts in rotation. I launder the jeans and shirts after each use though. Too broke for more clothes is the new chic. * This Troper has about 3 shirts, one pair of jeans, one pair of shorts, one skirt and one coat that she feels comfortable wearing down the street. * This troper's iconic dress is the gray t-shirt and jeans. He reuses the jeans over and over (sometimes varying), but the t-shirt stays.

He's not sure if it's a subversion, or just plain playing with the trope, he has the gray t-shirt bought in multiple copies so he can keep wearing it day in, day out. * This Troper always wears a dark colored hoodie when ever in public ( I feel naked without it) along with a T-Shirt and jeans. * This troper hates shopping, so her clothes are mostly t-shirts and jeans with ocassionally a hoodie for warmth. She hates shopping so much that she actually loves hand-me-downs, much to the chagrin of her mother. (Too bad this troper is now the tallest female in the entire existing family tree.) * This troper's one friend wears a plain black t-shirt and black shorts ALL THE TIME. To be fair, he's a computer science major, so maybe his head is just too full of 1s and 0s to have any room for creativity. * [[{{Max}} This troper]] actually buys multiple items of clothes that look exactly the same. Seven pairs of long black cargo pants, black long-sleeved shirts... et cetera. With a black (there's a pattern, you see,) wool trench coat, combat boots, fedora, and medical gloves. He just recently bought a black vest and two white dress shirts, to vary things...after a year. * This troper's friend is never seen without his brown corduroy jacket. * Forgive the dirtiness of this, but due to sharing a bunch of laundry with his brother, this troper wears stuff out of his dirty laundry. It's mostly just socks and pants, though, until the socks get so dirty that they're stiff with it, or whenever I'm able to find a new pair of jeans. * This Troper has always wears blue jeans and some form of jacket or hoodie. This is pretty much all school days even hot ones. * For this troper: Slacks, FunTShirt (either from a webcomic artist or a foreign country, or both in one case), and unzipped hoodie. The hoodie works in all weather between 20 and 70 degrees Fahrenheit. * I've decided to become self-sufficient since it seems odd for an 18 (almost 19) year old to be having his parents buy him clothing. Unfortunately I can't find a job, so I'm pretty much stuck with 2 pairs of jeans a few shirts (all of them black band shirts), about a week's worth of boxers, and about 20 pairs of socks (don't ask how I got that many, I don't even know). Luckily for me this was pretty much my look throughout high school and I'm very clean (to the point that one pair of jeans looks clean for a few weeks). * [[KingSonnDeeDoo This Troper's]] outfit pretty much consists of jeans (with faded stains of red paint), a [[FunTShirt Fun T-Shirt]], an old, dyed ex-NATO jacket, and a mismatched pair of Vans (also paint-spattered...I'm not a very neat painter). Work is pretty much the same, only with a large fleece replacing the jacket. * This troper had a science teacher in high school who was known for wearing the exact same outfit every day: a black polo shirt, brown slacks, and dark brown shoes. He's so well-known for it that during homecoming week, there's a "Dress Like Mr. Johnson Day". ** At this troper's high school, one teacher was (and, I believe, still is) known for wearing a blue collared shirt and khakis such that it's a MemeticOutfit.

* [[{{Cameoflage}} This troper]] can usually be seen wearing black jeans, a black pullover hoodie that says "meh." on the front, and black Converse. Also often some big red headphones. She has a diverse array of T-shirts, but the hoodie hides them from sight more often than not. I also have a second one, consisting of the same jeans, a usually dark-colored T-shirt, a checked zip-up hoodie, and plaid Converse. Occasionally I'll break from the trope and wear something completely different, either to dress up a little or just on a whim. * Long-sleeved dark-tone shirts from September to May. Short sleeved primary-color shirts from June to August. Loose full-length utilitarian pants are useful no matter the time of the year, or the temperature. This troper has been called out about this multiple times. * After five years being classmates, [[{{VeggiePopper}} this troper]] 's best buddy from college keeps on wearing the same olive green jacket he wore when I first met him. Once I drew a cartoon portay of him and of course I depicted him wearing that jacket. On the other hand, I'm pretty guilty of this, too: I only own two pairs of jeans (both dark blue) and I only use black or purple T-shirts (for work, I use the same colors on my shirts and ties, and only have one black suit). And no matter where I go, I always carry the same red backpack -even if it's empty to begin with. * This troper had a time where she always weared the same sandals, all her shirts were alike and, of course, all her pants were jeans. Not to mention my infamous military jacket and my eternal ponytail... * Seeing as This troper as an unusual fetish for shortsleeves and tshirts, he REALLY wants to meet some of these girls that are above. However as for HIMSELF, he had always worn a long-sleeve due to him havinb another unusual phobia for shortsleeves on HIMSELF. * ''Not'' [[{{Loracarol}} This Troper]], but this troper's brothers (mostly identical twin brothers). Someone once decided it would be a brilliant idea to get them fleece jackets, and now, well, let's just say that it is really easy to tell them apart because one is ''always'' in a blue fleece jacket, and black pants (with a green shirt underneath), and the other one ''always'' wears a black fleece jacket and black [=BDU=]s or shorts. Luckily, the black-fleece one is a little more open to wearing other things, but stil... * This female troper was once told by a guy in one of her college classes that she looks different every day, to which she responded that he always wore the same jacket. His response? "I like this jacket." * CrashGordon94 almost always wears a FunTShirt and Chinos, though I have lots of different ones, so it's a bit of a PalletteSwap thing, like the first guy on this page. * {{Miso}}'s wardrobe, summed up: Band t-shirts and jeans. The shirts are usually Ozzy Osbourne, {{Aerosmith}}, or {{ptitlewiz5pz1p}}, but she also owns two {{Nightwish}} shirts, two {{Rammstein}} shirts, two {{Korn}} shirts, a Black Label Society shirt, a LedZeppelin shirt, and a LinkinPark shirt. Also a Woodstock (yes, the hippie Woodstock) shirt for days around the house, and she always wears jeans and her glasses. When out, she also has buttloads of jewelry, combat boots, and a NiceHat. She also occasionally adds a BadassLongcoat just for the

lulz. * When this troper was in the Army wardrobe selection was easy. After retiring, however, he kept the spirit of the troper alive by splurging on a dozen dress shirts and half a dozen dress pants of varying colors. Everything got hung in the closet, and the daily outfit is the leftmost shirt and the leftmost trousers. If something doesn't match the next shirt in line gets pulled out. His fashion-conscious boss thinks he's crazy. * [[Tropers/SabresEdge This troper]]'s clothing tends to be variations of the same theme: collared shirt, sweater vest, long utility pants; PaletteSwap as necessary. No jeans; include trademark NiceHat(s) whenever possible. Sweater or collared heavy jacket optional. As he lives in Southern California, it's a slight challenge to maintain this throughout summer. ** Additionally, one of his friends is almost always instantly recognizable for wearing a knee-length, orange-trimmed black jacket. BadassLongcoat effect sets in. * This troper is recognizable at an easy half-mile thanks to their limited wardrobe, complete with a distinctive brown hat and black sweatshirt. * Statistically, most people wear 20% of their clothes 80% of the time. This troper certainly falls into that category. He has expensive items of clothing that are still virtually brand new because he has almost never worn them. * This troper has a bright red jacket she almost always wears everywhere she goes. On days she doesn't wear it, her friends complain it's a lot harder to spot or even recognize her. * In high school, this troper had a classmate who almost every day wore the same black shirt and tan cargo pants, occasionally wearing the same thing for a whole week. Unfortunately she's knows from sitting next to him every day that he often didn't do laundry or even shower between wearings. * Not completely limited, but this troper tends to be seen wearing a leather jacket (I have two), a t-shirt (occationally a shirt, often with a tie if the previous applies), jeans (or combats) and trainers (or black shoes if my trainers are unavailable). In summer, I don't bother with the leather jacket. In winter, I wear a (to everyone except me) oddly coloured coat: grey-green with a orange trim at the pocket edges. It is often the case that I end up wearing the same outfit I wore the previous week (after they have been washed, of course). This coat is practically my icon, as are my (often amazingly) eccentric hairstyles (which sets up for an awesome (well, to me) one liner: "it takes time and effort to get a hairstyle this bad"). ** Similarly, a friend of mine is known for wearing a trench coat in winter with a russian hat (you know the one). As you may have guessed, he is a fan of communism. *** Update: Literally! I've dropped the leather jackets and swapped my old coat for a [[{{PaintItBlack}} black varient]] and and added a black navy hat (I've also had a haircut). For some reason, I think I look a little bit like a 40k commissar in said attire. Or [[{{YuGiOhGX}} a certain guy who speaks in the third person occationally...]]CHAZZ IT UP! *Cough* Oh, did I mention I've also got

a new bag (which I didn't mention earlier: I had a navy rucksack, I now have a brown camping style rucksack)? Comments on this updated style have been...practically non-existant. But, it is still only the second day (first for the bag), so... * [[Tropers/ICantThinkOfAWittyName I]] always wear a baggy t-shirt with something [[{{DeadpanSnarker}} snarky]] written on it and blue jeans. The length of the jeans and the colour of the t-shirt may vary, but I always wear that 'uniform.' In fact I have six t-shirts, three pairs of jeans, one pair of thongs (i.e. flip-flops to Americans) and one pair of rip-off Converse. My family is not wealthy, as you might guess. * This troper grew up attending Catholic schools so became incredibly comfortable with the idea of wearing uniforms (it's no guess, no fuss dressing in the early morning -- how can one lose?), so sh-- er, I've played around with that concept. In college it was a limited array of blouses or shirts with jeans, and now in the workplace it's black trousers with dressy work blouses. And there are only three pairs of shoes I'll wear. * I wear a [[SuperMarioBros Green 1-up Shirt]] and black shorts A LOT!! My friends started talking about it and just to go over their heads, I wear it in the winter. I will regret that for the rest of my life. * [[Tropers/KatanaCat This Troper]]... well, I tends to wear exactly the same clothes day in and day out. I can't recall exactly how long I've been wearing this brown hoodie with this black shirt underneath and these black socks. And there was this one early summer where I only wore one purple t-shirt and a matching pair of purple shorts (What can I say? It's my favorite color!) for weeks on end, and there was one year where I wore the same thick warm hot pink socks all winter. When I can, I'll only wear a t-shirt, a pair of jeans, some socks, and a white belt - the color of the socks and shirt may vary, but the general theme will stay the same. Also, I have looked into my dad's sock drawer and found that he seems to only have thick black socks, and one pair of rainbow ones that he never wears. And he only has one or two pairs of shorts. He's also had friends who invoked this Trope. And I just ''can't'' understand ''supposed'' female obsession with owning more than 3 or 4 pairs of shoes that still fit... and 4 is [[Understatement a bit of a stretch]]. * This troper only has black clothes that all look more or less the same. His girlfriend is the same too, though to a slightly lesser extent. * I wear a dark green shirt, and jeans/dark green shorts at (almost) all times. people have started looking for the green shirt, which results in them being unable to find me from a foot away when I wear anything else. * Played strait with This Troper who friends only saw her in two different outfits of her own (besides school uniform, pyjamas, ect) ** A black shirt with long pink sleeves and black pants with a pink stripe down the side with black socks and red and white sneakers ** A green shirt show some scenes from a Manga she dont know with navy pants with a green stripe down the side and sandals Then Subverted when the holidays came around and it turned into

[[UnlimitedWardrobe Unlimited Wardrobe]]. Her friends were [[Understatement shocked]]. * This Troper is a perfect example of this trope. He wears nothing but black cargo pants and a black shirt with a red star on the front every day, and has nothing else in his closet, except perhaps for black shirts without the red star on the front, which he never wears. * This troper's entire wardrobe is novelty tees and cargo pants. Subverted in that I have seven pairs of pants and a month's worth of shirts, they're just all adorned with a band name or pop culture/nerd reference. * [[{{@/Deadbeatloser22}} This troper]] seems to only wear a T-shirt and a pair of hiking trousers. The only major variation, aside from colours and[=/=]or the design on the T-Shirt, is when I wear my school-leaver's hoodie over the top. * This troper suffers from this in the winter, having only four longsleeved shirts: a navy and beige jumper, a "fake vintage" cream sweater, a black long-sleeved shirt with silver embroidery and a black one with leather cuffs and neck. Not to mention always wearing ten pairs of VERY similar jeans and the same combat-green jacket with studs. * This troper ''always'' wears the same blue North Face jacket and jeans. The shirt that I'm wearing differs, but the jacket and jeans cement the image on their own. * This troper has neither the disposable income nor the inclination to spend more than about a tenner on any single item of clothing, so this trope is somewhat enforced. Half a dozen plain t-shirts and white button-down shirts each, two pairs of trousers (one pair of blue jeans, one pair of tan chinos), three sweatshirts and one pair of increasingly battered semi-formal black shoes work fine for everyday wear. * This troper generally uses one pair of boots for winter, two jackets (outside, third layer kind), with one being for heavier duty than the other, one pair of shoes and one pair of sandals for the other seasons, about three pairs of jeans, about four tops (male), and several t-shirts and pairs of socks, normally not visible. Over the course of a whole week, only one top-jeans combination is used unless it becomes unusable for some reason. Also, the footwear and jackets are black or grey, the rest is in varying shades of blue. Oh, and as a leitmotif, also a Scarf of Politeness, white, also on weekly shifts and three owned. The trope itself is probably subverted since the outfit changes each Monday, but there are only three versions unless it's summer, and the colour scheme is constantly identical. * [[{{@/DogLikeSparky}} My]] current wardrobe (pajamas and other miscellany notwithstanding, anyway) consists of band shirts (with the occasional cartoon/movie/video game shirt or long-sleeve shirt), a denim jacket I am rarely seen not wearing and three or four pairs of pants. I'll swap out the jacket for a plaid shirt if it's going to be too hot to justify bringing the jacket along, but there it is in a nutshell. * This troper has worn pretty much the exact same clothes (Jeans,plaid shirt,T-Shirt,Army Jacket) for three years and He doesn't plan on stopping anytime soon

* This troper sometimes wear the same pants or jacket two or three days in a row. When I was at school I used to wear the same uniform for three days but it's not like anyone notices. * I wear a t-shirt, shorts, and tennis shoes to school, and at home/ over the summer I just drop the shoes. If it gets incredibly cold (well below freezing) I will put on khakis and a hoodie. * [[{{@/IlluminatedDarkness}} I]] wear the same hoodie daily. [[JustifiedTrope Justified]] in that it counters my [[ShrinkingViolet Social Anxiety]]. * This troper almost always wears a sky blue t-shirt and slate shorts in summer. In winter, he almost always wears a sky blue t-shirt and tan pants. His dressier clothes consist of a dressy sky blue shirt and dressy tan pants. Has he mentioned that he likes the color sky blue? * Since many schools in the UK have uniforms, everyone would wear the same thing for five days. Obviously not EXACTLY the same, they'd wear clean shirts and stuff, but it all looked the same. * All year round, I wear a black T-shirt, grayish black pants, a blue striped jacket, and running shoes. I have five pairs of those pants, seven of the shirts, two of the jackets, and I wear the same pair of shoes until they have holes in them. * Over 40 plain black t-shirts (whenever a new one was needed I would buy a pack of 3 or 5 without paying attention) and black skinny jeans for most of the year, winter introduces a long sleeve thermal black shirt and summer sees black shorts and white t-shirts (over 20, same story) and one pair of black sneakers I have owned for over 7 years. * This troper always alternates t-shirts daily, though they usually look similar to each other. As for pants, he tends to alternate being exact lookalike sweatpants. The only time he wears something other than pants are A) he needs to wear something else for a play or video, or B) he needs to look fancy. * This troper will now list his clothes for going out (not including underwear): 2 pairs of black khaki pants, 20 pairs of black socks, ten black pocket tee shirts, a black zip up hoodie/cult outfit, and a tan belt. For in house clothing: a pair of grey sweat pants and a white shirt. All of my friends called me out on this after a while and I had to show them my closet. ---Go back to [[{{LimitedWardrobe}} Limited War]] - are you wearing that same old thing again? ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LineOfSightName * My high school Spanish teacher once told a story about a friend of hers who was vacationing in America and saw a name that she liked on a mailbox and ended up giving it to her son. That name is Usmail. * When thinking of something that involves random objects, I ussually have objects that are near me pop into mind. It's subverted however, as I ussually dismiss these because I don't think they're creative enough. It ussually throws me off sometimes though.

* While not quite a line of sight ''name,'' this troper was playing a forum-based roleplay, and needed something pointless and stupid for a character to say. Her eyes alighted on a tin of cashews. Thus, she made him say "cashew." Said character ended up becoming her EnsembleDarkhorse, and even though he only ever used the "cashew" line once, the phrase became inextrictably linked with him. To be fair, [[SureWhyNot this troper has run with it somewhat.]] * This troper's family legend states that we had no last name until a census-taker walked into the family pub and asked for one - at which point great(x)-grandpa looked around and saw a jug. * This troper had a history teacher who claimed his last name was "Sample" because, when his ancestors immigrated, they did not want an ethnic-sounding name, and chose the first thing they saw on the citizenship application. * This troper and her friend had a lot of fun creating an imaginary guy with a line of sight name. his first name was Two-dogs, and his surname was Love (can you guess his middle name). Cue hysterical giggles. * Aversion: In order to avoid exactly this trope, this troper has invented a fistful of false names for use if it ever becomes necessary. Jason Grey, at your service. ** This troper thought that he was the only person who did that. Mr. Grey, I'm very pleased to meet you. My name is Paul Farquahr. *** Fred Farquhars. [[CompletelyMissingThePoint Are we related]]? *** Samuel Mansed. The pleasure is mine. **** Cynthia Dreyfus, at your service. ***** Pleased to meet you. I'm John Sharp. **** Sartorius Kemp. (Okay, they probably won't believe that one.) **** Gentlemen, ladies, I'd like to introduce myself as Ronald White. ***** Tater Salad? ***** [[AustinPowers I'm Richie Cunningham, and this is my wife... Oprah.]] **** Hello, I'm Harmony Arkamen, it's a pleasure to meet all of you. **** Eldon 'Wolf' Hughes. It's an absolute delight. **** Maya Hunter, nice to meet you, sirs and madame's. **** Alexander Grassthunder. Pleased to meet you. *** {{Hello}}, MyNameIsInigoMontoya, YouKilledMyFather, PrepareToDie. **** It's a pleasure meeting all of you. I'm Alan Mallagan. **** I'm Michael Glaseno, and I'm all of a flutter. **** Name's Tony Wheeler. Don't wear it out. *** Hi, I'm Patience Wood. Or Franny Leeman, take your pick. *** [[TropeKira Stewart Dent. Don't call me Stu.]] *** Pleased to meet you. Cassandra Taylor at your service. Don't call me Cassie. *** [[RedVsBlue My name is Michael J. Caboose, and I HATE BABIES.]] *** [[Tropers/{{Ladygem}} I'm]] [[SignificantAnagram Gemma Tepz,but my friends call me Gem]], it's been a pleasure. *** Harrison Potter . . . [[BerserkButton but don't call me]] [[HarryPotter Harry]]. *** The Qubcois Julien Tremblay salutes you all, sti. *** Nick Samuels, the cover name for Cornelius William Baker, which may or may not be a further cover name, sends his greetings.

*** Eric Mulligan. How may I be of service? *** I'm [[AwesomeMcCoolname Ruby Winter]]. It's a pleasure to meet you. *** [[MutantRancor Brian William Black]] at your service. Or maybe I'm [[MutantRancor Micheal J. Long]]. Or [[MutantRancor Jett Jinn]]. Or [[MutantRancor Link Rond]]. Or [[MutantRancor Mugen Tsunami]]. Or even [[YuYuHakusho Suichi Minamino]]. I hope you didn't just control-click all of those, because they all lead to the same place. [[spoiler:Except the last one.]] *** Greetings, I am Vulpa Lupa. Or Lupa Vulpa. Or just plain Lupa. Take your pick. *** Hey-lo, [[StellarName Arcturus]] [[MahouSenseiNegima Rakan]] [[{{Lost}} Faraday]] is the name. But my friends call me [[QuestionableContent Pintsize]]. (I'd have chosen Sirius as the first name, as I find it the best star system ever. However I find it is somewhat overused. Plus Arcturus sounds cooler.) *** Pandora Lathbert. Hello to you all. *** My name is Warren P. Sullivan, have you met my brother Walter Gamble/Robert Smith? *** How do you do? Marisa Maribel is pleased to make your acquaintance. *** Harry Toraz here, what can I do for you, sirs and madames? I may also be [[LoadsAndLoadsOfCharacters Abe Honor, Dottie Wright, Bunny Cabinette, Tod Tfing, Booker Post, Paz Potter, or Cal Pumpkinish]]. *** Donovan McLellan, of Kirkcudbrightshire, here. With accent in full effect. *** Mary Anne Langley reporting for duty. Ashleigh Hawke also sends her warmest greetings. *** I'm Spartacus **** No, [[IAmSpartacus I'm Spartacus]]. *** [[TheSimpsons Hola, I am Esteban De La Sexface.]] *** Lazarus Quinn here. *** Marissa Bean. Nice to meet you. *** Rose Lash. Great to meet you all. *** Tobias Smith. Call [[{{Tropers/Unhari}} me]] Toby. *** Lainey Nash, here! Though I also go by [[LoadsAndLoadsOfCharacters Oriana Van Der Kaiboetje, Io Alighieri, Penelope Crane, and Liopleurodon Smith-Rhodes.]] *** Hello, I'm Klaus Chadman. *** Grace Gardener and her Boyfriend Kyle Kiran say Hi *** Elaine Walker, it's a pleasure. [[OrIsIt Or maybe I'm Annette Cygnus?]] *** Patrick Smith, DON'T Call Me Pat! * This troper usually puts more thought into his characters' names, but he did once name a character *sees an empty Vault and a d20* "Can... dice. Candice." * A local band composed of four of my classmates named themselves "Deep Frozen" on their first performance. After being asked what their band was called, one of them looked around and spotted a crate of frozen food. * In an interesting variation, [[{{nine}} this dude]] has used whatever's nearby or on his mind as his password. Which has resulted

in at least one of his high school classmates being one of his passwords. * All of her life, ThisTroper has been mistakenly called "Rachel". This was understandable in junior school when her best friend was named Rachel and people regularly mixed them up, but she fails to understand how people nowadays who have ''never met or heard of'' that Racel STILL call her by this name. ThisTroper supposes that she just looks like a Rachel, so in any situation where a false name may be needed (don't ask), what's the first one that pops into her head? Rachel. ** I'm Molly for the exact same reason. It's gotten to the point where half my acquaintances think I'm named Molly, and get very confused when people ask for me by my real name. *** Similarly, I'm Michelle. It was a bit of a BerserkButton for me in middle school when I didn't even know any similar-looking Michelles, but now I'm used to it. ** Nice to meet you guys. I'm apparently Sarah. I've been told that I look like a younger and less cracked-out Sarah Silverman... but not really. * This troper needed two names for a story he was writing for a high school class and went with those of the first two classmates he saw. * For no real purpose, this troper has made a game out of trying to make up a line of sight name or two anytime he goes out for a walk by himself, some vaguely plausible ("hmm... Dunkin Donuts... Cumberland Farms... Duncan Farmer!"), some intentionally ridiculous. He now sort of wants to write a story that features a character who is terrible at coming up with aliases as a running gag, if only so he can do something with such gems as Brick Treehouse, Steve Laundry, and Jehovah Repairs. * This troper's current D&D character has the surname "Gale" because it was really windy while I was walking to the first session. * This Troper was writing a story and she couldn't think of a good last name for a character. For some reason the Monty Python "defense against people armed with fresh fruit" sketch was playing in her head, specifically the part where the instructor calls one of the students "Mr. Tinned Peach", needless to say, my character's last name became "Peach". * [[{{Pinkbaron}} This troper]] named one of her characters Eddie because Van Halen was the first artist she heard after pressing shuffle on her iPod. * Whenever [[{{Gecko}} this troper]] plays ''ZooTycoon'' or something similar, a lot of her animals end up named this way. * This troper was joining a RP-based wrestling league and needed a name for his edit. While wracking his brain, his eyes drifted to a receipt from a recent bookstore visit. He had purchased two books Foley Is Good and The Firm. That night, Mick Grisham was born. * This troper's grandmother didn't have a name for the first few days of her life; her parents just didn't know what to call her. That is, until her dad saw "Eloise" on a cigar box a few days later. * Somewhat of an inversion...[[{{valbinooo}} I]] named one of my characters Abigail because it was the title of a song by my favorite band, but not because I was listening to that song at that precise

moment...In a slightly straighter example, I was listening to a song by tool and thew in references to "46 & 2" and "Lateralus" into the poem I was writing. * [[JosephStaleknight The name Staleknight]] came from two familiar chess terms (I was a chess enthusiast back then). The first name later came when I needed something euphonious to match the surname. * My stepdaughter, playing a DS game in the bathroom, named a character "Toilet." * This troper heard a joke similar to this. -->"Why are so many Italians named Tony?" -->"Because, when they were shipped to Ellis Island, they all got To:NY (to New York) stamped on their forehead." * When this troper switched deviantART accounts, she had to think of a new username right off the bat. Then she looked to her very messy floor... Her name is now Socks-and-Notebooks. * This troper plays games in his very book-cluttered room; stuck for a name for TheHero in SwordOfMana, he happened to notice Joseph Conrad's ''The Red Badge of Courage''. Hence, Konrad, which turned out to make perfect sense in the Germanic-themed Granz Realm. * [[TequilaSunrise2011 This troper]] is notorious for [[LineOFSightName Line of Sight Names]]. She has a story with a character who tells the bus driver his name is "Esteban David Enrique the Third" to avoid being in trouble. Why is he named that? This troper was watching TheSuiteLifeOfZackAndCody There is another previously named Stephen from a classmate, another named Estelle because the song [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ic5vxw3eijY American Boy by Estelle]] was playing, and another [[CuteBruiser girl]] [[LittleMissSnarker named]] [[KingdomHearts Roxas]]. Hell, her screenname is because her aunt was MAKING THE DRINK Tequila Sunrise. There's also apparently a movie by the same title. * At school, many moons ago, we were recording some kind of roleplay interview thing, and one girls' mind went blank when asked to give a name on the tape. Looking around, she caught sight of a display of the class's recent work, and gave her name as 'Tesselation'. * This troper named his old cat Penny because he was sorting some coins at the time. In an alternate universe, her name is [[{{Incredibly Lame Pun}} Nicole]]. I'm sure of it. * [[{{Tropers/KingSonnDeeDoo}} This Troper]] was once trying to think up a name for a male character in a story she was writing, when she saw a book called (something along the lines of) "The Leon Valley". Thus the character was named "Leon". * This troper had more of a case of "Line of Sight Conversation Topic" with a friend. -->Friend: Hey, troper! What's up? -->Troper: Uh....*looks at hand* Ice cream? * One could argue this and Chromatic Theme Naming with This Troper's recent set of books he's been working on. All of the dragon characters are named after the color of their scales. Characters I've got: Indigo, Stizza (a dark red), Ceil (a light blue), Cerise (a pink), Sinopia (orange, I think?), etc.

* This tropette's mother almost married a man named Nosmo King. * How I created my universal username, I saw a book of greco/roman myths while trying to decide. I flipped through the book for ideas and it opened to the split between Minerva/Athena and Diana/Artemis. My little mind gears blurred them and I grabbed part of each Athena and Diana (the Athe and dia) and got my name Athedia. * As mentioned in the Real Life section, many last names are based on the geography of the land the family lived in. My surname comes from Norway, but doesn't end in "-son," so I wondered what it meant. After a bit of research, I discovered that Moen means "meadow." ---Go back to uhh...[[LineOfSightName Line...uhhh...of sight...]] uhh...BuffyTheVampireSlayer. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LinkedListClueMethodology *[[{{Karalora}} This troper]] and her sister used to pass lazy weekend and summer days by setting these up for each other, usually in the form of a series of rhyming couplets that led to various points around the house and backyard, finally culminating in a "treasure" consisting of cheap plastic costume jewelry that we already owned, or something along those lines. [[AWinnerIsYou Sometimes not even that.]] But it was always fun, for both the clue-writer and the clue-figurer-outer. Then a couple years ago for the Spring Equinox, when we were sharing an apartment, I surprised her by taking a day off work without her prior notice and setting up a spring-themed treasure hunt with the benefit of an adult intellect and income--i.e. the poetry was better, the clues were more cerebral, and there was an actual prize (Easter candy). It was just like old times, with the added bonus that she never saw it coming. I even pretended to leave for work in the morning, came back after she had gone so that I could set everything up, and then left again before she came back in the evening. Alas, we are no longer roommates, so I can't do it anymore. * An Easter tradition in the {{blakyoshi7}} household involves a long trail of plastic candy-containing eggs leading out from you bedroom door to a piece of paper describing the location of a much larger prize- and yet another clue! By the time you're done, you might be having trouble holding it all. ** Ditto for [[{{Hinoa}} my]] dad's side of the family, at least when I was a kid. Now that I have a little half-brother, my dad and stepmom are starting to do it for him, too. Granted, the kid's two, so they kinda dumbed it down a bit... * This troper's parents used to set this up for his and his sisters' birthday parties. This was part of the reason why, despite being a loner and outcast, nobody in class wanted to miss this troper's birthday parties. ** Up until sometime when we'd both hit our teens, this was a birthday

custom for this troper and her sister as well. But it wasn't really proper clues so much as just 'go to $LOCATION', with the last one being where the presents were. As it was the sibling's job to make the chain of pointers, we eventually started using them as transparent excuses to make each other run between opposite ends of the house as many times as could be arranged. * This troper used to do this to entertain her sister and friend when it was pouring. * And a quick tip for others who might create these from good ol' [[Tropers/RobinZimm Report Siht]]: make sure your clues can't be misinterpreted to ''skip ahead''. Otherwise, it was a really cool way to give a dozen fifty-cent novels as a birthday present. * [[PentiumMMX2 This troper]] and his sister did this a few times when they where younger. She had fun writing the clues leading to the treasure (Usually some candy), while I had fun following them. I'd love to do something like that again... * Back when my family would go on ski trips for a week at a time with friends, all us kids took turns setting these up. There were even different levels, as we were all different ages. * Tropers/{{JET73L}}'s father did this to the troper's mother's eldest sister once, when he got her name for the Christmas gift exchange. It ended with a [[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming high-quality set of earrings]] [[CrowningMomentOfFunny in the otherwise-empty box for a huge yet cheap stereo set]]. ----Follow the last clue back to LinkedListClueMethodology. ----<<|TroperTales|>>

LIsForDyslexia * [[InvertedTrope Inverted]] with [[{{EPIC}} this Troper]]. I'm hyperlexic, which means that at 1 and a half years old, I learned how to read, [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch beeyitch!]] ** Congrats. You have made everyone else on this page feel like crap. [[SarcasmMode Really, thanks.]] *** To be fair, it also means s/he has trouble communicating (potentially autistic) and doesn't play with others * I had extreme dyslexia as a kid, but it has gotten a lot better in recent years. But I somewhat commonly misspell "Henry" as Henrey" and saying "Half glass full" instead of "Glass half full". However, sometimes when I'm talking and I don't remember how a word is pronounced, I attempt to remember how to pronounce it by spelling it in my head while saying it out loud. More often than not, this results in me slightly mispronouncing it the first time, really mispronouncing it the second time, EXTREMELY mispronouncing the third, and everything after that being gibberish. When I realize what I'm doing via DoubleTake, I A: sigh, FacePalm, and try one more time before giving up or B: Purposely continue to say gibberish like I'm not doing anything wrong, and cause everyone in the room to laugh.

* This troper's brother has a learning disability that nobody detected until he was older. My brother drew a picture of plane, and wrote "West Noth Airlines" on the side (yes, without the "r" in "north" and yes, we fly Northwest). Also, spring onions became onion springs, and carpark was "pakcak". * This troper is mildly dyslexic. Reading is simple enough (except with words that are only one or two letters off), however without careful concentration when writing essays, words or numbers will often get quite jumbled, resulting in one AP US History essay about the Salem Witch Trials of 1962. * After making fun of an extracurricular instructor's horrible spelling all through middle school, this troper and her friends got to high school and were informed that this individual is severely dyslexic. * The Hollywood version is occasionally TruthInTelevision, as is the case with both my husband and my daughter. They both transpose letters all the time, especially my husband. The school has been great about helping my daughter learn to cope, but people hardly even knew what dyslexia ''was'' when my husband was in school, so he's had a lot harder time of it. It was so terrible when he was in his early twenties that he managed to spell 'California' as 'Kalfornia'. I still can't let him make grocery lists because he sometimes comes up with things even I can't decipher. * This dyslexic Troper wrote her numbers backwards unit the 4th grade, only stopping with the help of a teacher, and still gets lower case b and d mixed up if she's not paying attention. She also has horrible spelling, but the result is usually words that make phonetic sense but aren't anywhere close to how they're supposed to be spelled rather than randomly mixed up letters. The exception is that sometimes she'll mix up the vowels in words with 2 vowels in a row, the worst offers are bieng(being), becuase(because) and [[{{Pokemon}} Arcues(Arceus)]]. Also if she reads a new word without bothering to sound it out she'll mix up or ad letters in her mental pronunciation. * Are we allowed to talk about dyscalculia? Because according to ThatOtherWiki, I could have it * This troper becomes mildly dyslexic when my mind gets ahead of my mouth. In addition to what some people mistake for AttentionDeficitOohShiny, this can result in situations of IReadThatAs and odd cases of word mashing ("Medium Mixed Breed Dogs" became "Medium Bricks Mead Frogs"). ** This Troper has the same problem. When my eyes/mouth just keep going (and i can talk FAST for a LONG time, much to others' exasperation), I start to garble words, to the point where all my friends now accept that i remove usually necessary grammar in exchange for more adjectives and nouns and verbs. Hilarity Ensues when i have a sentence that comes out worse than Engrish. * This Troper is dyslexic, and was flipping surprised to find out, since she hasn't had any especially strong difficulty with grammar and spelling since her early teens, give or take a few mixed up letters and words, and the fact that pink or peachy coloured text makes her eyes hurt. She didn't know until that point that dyslexia covers a far wider range of problems than just difficulties with spelling since

it's a problem with how the brain processes information, and every act a body carries out involves some of those processes. My own problems include an inability to understand directions given by ear (auditory processing), trouble with explaining simple processes aloud, an inability to distinguish between different symbols such as maps or road signs, and a problem with mathematics (dyscalculia). I also garble a bit, like the above tropers (not alone, guys). Dyslexia is a pretty wide ranged thing, really... It'd be nice to see other examples of it portrayed in the media. * This troper is convinced that his sister is: she takes so long to read that I've never seen her finish a reasonably small book within a week and her sentences are a frequent source of amusement amongst everyone else. Ironically, she is studying English Literature. This troper? He would argue himself at having better than average reading and writing skills (case of point, it took him a week to read IT by Stephen King: it is almost 1400 pages long and he can still remember quite a lot of it). * I am extremely dyslexic, dyscaculic, and dysgraphic. To the extent that I had to listen to audio books though 5th grade for reading assignments (and was to all extents and purposes illiterate until 4th), still write numbers and number symbols back wards, and own a laptop simply because my teachers no longer allow me to hand write my assignments. I would qualify as a trained word blind dyslexic. They discovered my dyslexia in 1st grade and I immediately began 8 years of extensive tutoring three days a week every week (mines one month when my tutor had heart surgery) for all aspects of non-oral language/communication. As I was then attending a privet prepitory school I was "not welcome back for another semester" after my diagnoses. My current school refuses to recognize my learning disability due to my extensive verbal ability (speech was my only form of effective communication until I learned to type) and my early diagnoses. My dyslexia is compounded by myopia, ADHD, multiple forms of anxiety, bipolar disorder and all the lovely complications of living with alcoholics. This entry has been spell checked. * I accidentally found out that a freshman in my school is dysgraphic when joking about the fact that he uses an iPad to take notes. It was quite embarrassing, to say the least. * My sister is dyslexic, and it took her a long time to fully learn to read, while I've always been the family bookworm who's read everything, spells everything perfectly, etc. Joke's on me when we play Scrabble, though-- her inherent ability to scramble words makes her beat me every time. * This troper, reading from, a book on dyslexia. "For example, someone with dyslexia might read the number 12 as... CRAP, I mean the number ''21'' as 12... I swear that I didn't do that on purpose." It caused me a lot of grief in school, as no one actually believed that I'm dyslexic because of my grades. Little did they know the sheer anguish that I had to go through to get those grades, which could have been even higher, but no one wants to help the girl with straight A's get even higher straight A's. I still get palpitations at the thought of tasks like the ones that caused me trouble in school. In fact, I'm getting palpitations just writing this! Lovely.

* Troper is ridiculously good with reading. Her HeterosexualLifePartner is so badly dyslexic as to be functionally illiterate. She's insanly good with art and sewing, which the Troper has two left hands for. My de facto niece ([=HLP=]'s daughter) is also very badly dyslexic, but made it work for her; because she couldn't read the subtitles on the anime everyone was watching, the kid picked up Japanese from an early age. The Japanese writing systems also are pictographic and don't reverse or invert in her head. She will probably end up reading Japanese better than English, as the kid's already reading untranslated manga. * [[Tropers/AdelePotter This Tropette's]] best friend, who usually had me check her schoolwork and edit her spelling before handing it in.

LiteralGenie * It's a common practice in Chemistry classes to teach the class the importance of specificity in directions by having students write directions for some mundane task, and for the teacher to follow the directions specifically and with absolutely no additions. This Troper still has very vivid memories of a chemistry teacher doing exactly this (though swapping PB&J for grilled cheese sandwiches) and then gleefully ''making us eat the results of our instructions.'' * It's also common in programming courses, because of aforementioned [[strike:tendancy for computers to take]] characteristic of computers of taking everything literally. * My hockey coach actually had us do this with each other, not only for the reasons above, but to have us learn autonomy. Practicing bodychecking when you're being told in an incomplete way to do it is a lot less fun than it sounds... * [[@/WanderlustWarrior One troper]] was wishing that someone in his hometown would rescue him from his current boredom. On his drive home, he saw a person with a cape driving a segway down a major road. * This troper has figured out a wish to subvert this trope: "I wish all my wishes are interpreted my way." ** Wish granted: but no more wishes. * Once, This troper, when ordered to get all the milk crates off the sales floor, put them onto a dolly, and wheeled them just inside the produce doors. He then went on break. The boss was not amused.

LiteralMetaphor * This troper once received a fortune in a cookie which read "Travel an unpaved road with a new friend." Being an avid road-tripper, you can guess how he interpreted that. * This troper is a linguistics major, and has ''a lot'' of fun with this trope. * [[{{Eddurd}} This troper]] was once helping his wife with the chores. When she brought in the clean sheets from the laundry, I offered to help her make the bed. She quipped back, "And after you make your bed, you can lie in it." So, as soon as we were finished, I stretched across the bed, smiled up at her and said, "Gee, honey, you look like you've lost weight." (It took her a moment to figure it out

... and several hours to forgive me.) * [[{{LIGHTPIE777}} This troper]] once had this conversation regarding his internet connection with his friend. --> Troper: ''My internet connection is crap right now.'' --> Friend: ''Ahh, I know the feeling. The same thing happened when I got a new wifi. We couldn't hold connection for more than a minute.'' --> Troper: ''No, I mean my modem has literally turned into a heaping pile of fecal matter, probably that of some animal species.'' --> {{Beat}} --> Troper: ''I just Google'd it. It's an aardvark. It's aardvark feces.'' ---Head back to LiteralMetaphor, which is white with innocence. <<|TroperTales|>>

LiteralMinded * [[@/{{Fish}} This one]] tends to not get jokes based on puns, but corrects the factual errors (Like saying "Blindworms aren't actually worms, they're a legless lizard" or "Actually, that word is derived from a completely different root"), often ruining the joke. ** Did [[@/{{Haza}} I]] put this here and then forgot about having written it? ** I think [[@/AckSed I]] have a doppelganger. For added frustration,people do not get ''my'' puns. ** Oh, no. I found a conversation I clearly held with [[Tropers/{{INUH}} myself]] on Tv Tropes under several pseudonyms. I've finally abandoned what few shreds of sanity I had left. * This troper sometimes will play a LiteralMinded person on purpose. On one occasion, this troper was next to a couple males making idiots of themselves by slobbering over a girl in class, who was within earshot. One of them turned to this troper and asked, "Do you think <name> is hot?" Having no desire to join the idiotic drooling nor to insult the girl, this troper responded with "It depends on the temperature of the room she's in." ** This troper is the same way, though I like to do it to be either deliberately difficult or just plain [[DeadpanSnarker snarky]]. ** A good friend of mine who has Asperger's does this. He's high functioning, though, and clearly knows that the metaphorical reasoning behind saying, but enjoys the humor in taking everything literally. He always says it with a smirk too. I've even switched to this brand of humor occasionally, but he's the master of it. And since I'm a DeadpanSnarker the two of us together is quite confusing to an outsider. * [[@/GwenStacyWannabe I]] am weird...I love metaphors and analogies, but when you give me instructions, you have to list ''every step'' of the process. Otherwise this kind of thing happens. --> PE teacher: Okay, run down the court and back with the basketball. ... No, I meant ''while dribbling it!'' ** This troper has all but turned "but I did what you said to do!'

into a CatchPhrase. * This Troper does this on purpose as a joke one of my friends and I came up with. When feeling particularly [[DeadpanSnarker snarky]], he will answer "What's up?" with "Up is a vertical direction in a threedimensional universe usually associated with the pull of gravity or the perspective of the speaker." When not feeling quite as snarky (or up to it) he will simply say [[CaptainObvious "Up is a direction."]] It got so bad I had to stop doing it 'cause those who heard it would tell people "Ask him what's up!" all the time. ** I tend to say, "The ceiling." *** This Troper usually says the sky, he will occasionally extend it with seagulls, clouds, hopefully the stock market etc. *** Are you me? *** Quite obviously that was posted by [[Tropers/KatanaCat me]]. Apparently I have lost my mind. Except I don't extend it to things IN the sky, or the stock market, and I am not male. I just say the sky, the ceiling, obviously my browser or I wouldn't be able to chat with you because Trillian isn't working right, or if I'm feeling really snarky I'll list everything currently running on my laptop (usually [[LongList a lot]], and it almost always includes Firefox, Jasc Paint Shop Pro 6, Notepad/Wordpad, Windows Explorer and Windows Media Player). *** Good heavens, this troper has clones. She always does this to her friends, usually with the sky, a direction, the ceiling, or a tree. * This troper is... a subversion or something? I'm not actually literal-minded at all (although sometimes I ''will'' follow instructions literally just to be funny), but a) BotheringByTheBook is my favourite method of subtly rebelling against unwelcome parental orders, b) my parents make it impossible to tell an earnest but peculiar announcement apart from a semi-plausible joke told completely deadpan. They are entirely unaware of B, and don't seem to be aware that there's a point to my sudden episodes of literalism unless I really hammer it in that I'm following their instructions to the letter for the sake of vicious satire. * [[@/{{bud0011}} This troper]]'s dad and himself don't always communicate on the same wavelength. After growing tired of getting yelled at for shrugging shoulders, saying "i don't know", to whatever the situation requires, he has found that being this trope often forces the farther to restate himself; [[MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail and ''there was much rejoicing. 'Yaaaaay']] '' * This troper's ex-wife is the living embodiment of this trope. I had to spell everything out directly for her---it was more like [[UncannyValley writing a computer program]] than talking to a real person sometimes. What I was doing married to [[WhatAnIdiot an idiot]], I'll never kn...oh, right, I [[MostCommonSuperPower do know]] what drew me to her... * [[Tropers/KitsuneInari This troper]] often plays dwarf [[PlayerCharacter characters]], and once made a pun about this trope. Yes, [[OurDwarvesAreAllTheSame we dwarves are quite literal]]; from ''lithos'', latin for "stone". ** Ehm... that's Greek. * This troper's father, at times. He once saw a bumper sticker that

said, "[[TheAndyGriffithShow Barney Fife]] protects my car", and spent the next ten minutes explaining how dumb that was because, waddya know, Barney Fife [[CaptainObvious isn't real]]. Also, one of this troper's former friends. Why former? This troper got tired of explaining jokes, metaphors, etc. * This Troper's grandmother is a retired English teacher that taught me and my brother English when we were younger. There were many occasions that my three year old self would ask her "Can I go to the bathroom?" and her response would be "I don't know; ''can'' you?". Better yet, she wouldn't let me go until I said "may" instead of "can". [[SarcasmMode I'm sure this sort of thing endeared her to her students]]. ** The proper answer to this is, of course, "If you don't let me go, you're about to find out!" * This troper was once a LiteralMinded person before he even met the Internet and learned how to ContemplateOurNavels instead. Maybe it's because of the limited education of RealLife... * [[Tropers/{{Clevomon}} This troper]] can indeed be this frequently, but she has a problem because she often jokes about being LiteralMinded in a deadpan, to the point where other people can not usually tell if she understands what they're saying or not. Heck, she's confused ''herself'' a few times about whether or not she understands what's being said. * My mom, 'nuff said. ** You seem remarkably certain that the visitors to this page know your mother well enough that you need not provide any examples. * This Troper will sometimes take things absolutely literally. Not because I don't get what the intended meaning is, but because I am bored, and when I am bored I tend to intentionally act stupid. * This troper takes things literally quite a bit and often doesn't get hints or metaphors- often I need people to explain things clearly otherwise I just won't get it. * This Troper is often considered stupid because of this. I remember many humiliating moments in which I made a complete fool of myself by understanding everything literally. Back in High School, people intentionally would make puns and metaphors around me just to see my reaction. Of course, I've learned most of them by now, but I still struggle with the real meaning behind people's instructions and explanations. The funny bit? I enjoy making metaphors myself. * At Cub Scout Day Camp, I remember the policy was to divide us into small "tribes" for the week, which were named after animals, and we had to make up a chant to start every meeting with. The leader of our group suggested a cheerleader-style chant, "like 'Bricka bracka firecracker sis boom bah! Bugs Bunny! Bugs Bunny! Rah rah rah!'". Obviously he meant for us to insert our own tribe name in place of "Bugs Bunny", but some of us decided to pretend to be literal-minded, which caught on enough that we actually ''did'' start every meeting by cheering for Bugs Bunny. Despite being in a tribe not even named after rabbits. * This troper does not suffer from Asperger's Syndrome. Instead, he has quite a bit of fun with it. * My sister had a test question in her music class that asked her

something on the lines of drawing three flats and then making sure they were in the right order. Cue her drawing three flat tires on the staff and labeling them 1, 2, and 3. * This troper sometimes tells jokes where the joke usually relies on the listener thinking I mean a different meaning (usually a rude one) than I really do (usually a literal one). However, he usually uses such subtle humour that he has to frequently explain his jokes for people to get them. To be fair, people rarely listen to me, which usually requires a re-telling of the joke for people to realise what the explanation was for, no matter what the joke was for. * Part of [[{{Tropers/Crion87}} this troper]]'s methodology [[{{ForGreatJustice}} to make the gap between]] [[{{OfThePeople}} the indigenous folks]] and [[{{ThoseWhoveComeAcrossTheSeas}} the culturally-dominant white Australians]] disappear is - paradoxically since he is a white Australian himself - to have such as modern [[{{LandOfDragons}} China]] [[{{DoomedHometown}} march in and take over]]. Sure, [[{{DayOfTheJackboot}} both sides would be equally worthless]], [[{{LiteralGenie}} but at least they'd be ''equal'']]. The threat of future [[{{TheTroubles}} trouble in Northern Ireland and the Irish Republic]]? Send in an occupation force of Japanese peacekeepers, all of whom chosen for being adherents to Buddhism or Shinto! * This troper has Asperger's Syndrome. The fun part is that it's quite mild, so I don't take everything literally, but can instantly see the literal meaning of things that people say, which is good if I want to make a fast joke. * [[@/{{endlessness}} This troper]] tends to do that for some good ol' deadpan snarking. He enjoys using metaphors and figurative language, tho'. * I find myself doing it with helping people spell things. --> Mother: How many L's in Lily? --> Me: Two. --> Mother: *Writes Lilly* --> Me: That's three. * When Snape threatened to "rap" Draco in ''MyImmortal'', this troper got a mental image of him literally {{rap}}ping. She immediately reached for a can of BrainBleach. * This Aspie-ish troper succumbs to this on occasion. Twice in three months someone asked her to bring them a plate, and she failed to register that they meant "bring them a plate with food." It got her labeled a smartass as a kid. There are some times, however, that she deliberately interprets things literally for humor. * [[{{Tropers/Aspie}} This troper]] has been guilty of this a few times, due to my Asperger's. I can't name any specific examples though. * [[@/{{Forecharmer}} This troper]] has Aspergers, and has found an Idom Dictionary that is very useful. I'm serious, this dictionary not only explains what common idoms mean, but it gives the orign of them too. I still can't understand sarcasm though... * There's also the DSM V thing where they say they're combining all the autism spectrum things into one diagnosis because it's like trying to "cleave meatloaf at the joints." Someone had to explain THAT one to

me. * This troper only invokes this when the figurative language is used for romantic purposes. "He said he'd do anything for me!" "Even beat a baby seal to death with his bare hands? Or genocide an entire race of people? [[MurderArsonAndJaywalking Or go to a Justin Bieber concert?]]" I only do it because that mushy stuff is very often poorly thought out. Unless you actually died and your heart was used as an organ transplant, no, you did not "give him/her your heart." * This troper puts literal mindedness to good use: she edits contributions at another wiki, and being literal minded helps in identifying clichs, mixed metaphors, UnfortunateImplications and so on. * This troper is a DeadpanSnarker. My mother is VERY literal-minded. I often have to spend time explaining jokes to her that everyone else gets immediately, because she mistakes the deadpan for seriousness or she doesn't understand puns at all. * I don't see it, but apparently me. Tell me to hold this rope? I'll hold it for hours. Don't tell me what the rope's for or what I'm supposed to do with it ''after'' grabbing the rope, and I'll just stand there holding a rope for hours. Pretty much if you want it done right, you need to be concise, or else I'll do it [[InsaneTrollLogic my way.]] * When I don't want to do a chore I get into conversations with my parents like this: --> '''Dad:''' Would you like to walk the dog? --> '''Me:''' Not really. --> '''Dad:''' Would you mind walking the dog? --> '''Me:''' No. --> '''Dad:''' Could you walk the dog? --> '''Me:''' [[OverusedRunningGag I could, yes.]] --> '''Dad:''' Go walk the dog. ---What's that? You want to return to the LiteralMinded page? OK, here we go... * flicks through book* ... What? Oh, you mean [[LiteralMinded this page]]. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LittleGirlsKickShins * This petite {{Tsundere}}'s preferred method of attack is this, in addition to stomping on other people's feet. * Yeah, not necessarily just little ones. This troper had a friend in high school who did this (also very Tsundere; this troper somehow managed to make it through the full four years without invoking her wrath once, but can't remember anyone else in our social group being so lucky.) * During my field day in kindergarten, [[Tropers/{{Animenutcase}} this troper]] had a grape-popsicle... thing during lunch. When lunchtime was over, I still hadn't finished it. A male friend of mine snatched it out of my hand and threw it away. [[DisproportionateRetribution I

attempted (but didn't succeed) to kick him in the leg]]. * This troper's little sister once did this to me... [[MoralEventHorizon WHILE WEARING FIGURE SKATES]]. I still have a scar. * This Troper's 14-year-old sister is fond of this attack. This Troper's shins are not. * [[Tropers/AdelePotter You better believe it.]] * This troper's tiny asian friend likes to kick people in the shins. Needless to say, after two years of Muay Thai, this troper's shins subvert the effectiveness of this attack. * This troper got this from an 11-year-old girl (2011) for reasons unknown. To top it off, she smacks me repeatedly, pushes my shoulder and steps on my feet. Funny thing is, she smiles and laughs while doing it. She still does this whenever we meet. This troper wonders why...

LittleKnownFacts * Maybe it's just an attempt to justify my behavior, but I see no problem in passing along utter nonsense to the younger generation in the form of fairy tales, myths, urban legends, and just plain cultural non-truths. Most Americans pass along Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy; with my 7-year-old nephew, I get more creative. He's just about figured out the reality of most of this stuff now, so I figure it's a good indication of when his brain is starting to discern truth from fiction -- and it helps remind him that you don't trust someone ''merely because'' they're an authority figure (or loved one). ** For the record, I've spent several years now explaining the truth about Saint Nicholas[[hottip:*:as a historical figure who helped children, one we honor with the myth of Santa Claus]], while teaching him in most serious terms about the rabbit in the moon[[hottip:*:makes rice candy!]], Africanized killer coat hangers[[hottip:*:bite your ankle with their sharp tooth; plastic ones are "domesticated"]], Wet Floor Sign Plants[[hottip:*:stand in that clear liquid too long and they'll melt your shoes!]], and goblins[[hottip:*:who do everything from leaving empty milk cartons in the fridge to sticking their tongue in your ear]]. Recently started building up the idea of The Borrowers[[hottip:*:so that's where all the missing sundries go!]]. Why be culturally bland, following the accepted myths of everyone else, when you can pick up an amusing hodge-podge from half a dozen cultures and really give him something to pass along to ''his'' kids? <<|TroperTales|>>

LittleMissBadass * When videogames allow customized bodies, this (male) troper always goes for LittleMissBadass, either with daggers or giant weapons. ** Ditto for [[{{Joerc45}} this troper]]. ** This one too. * When experimenting with some hacks for the original PC version of

[[PhantasyStar Phantasy Star Online]], [[@/PentiumMMX2 This troper]] did this for the fun of it; he made a [=FOnewearl=] and had her fighting with a broadsword that was almost as big as she was. * To keep on the videogame examples, This Troper does this as well: ** Made a [=HUnewearl=] in PSO that was just below half height, as [[{{Pettanko}} flat-chested]] as possible, and wielding things like the Dragon Slayer or Grass Assassin Blades. [[SilentHill There were no survivors.]] ** Fighting games or other such Vs. games? I always go with the young, female FragileSpeedster: [[SuperSmashBros Sheik]], [[SoulCalibur Talim]], [[GuiltyGear Jam]], [[BlazBlue Noel]], [[MarioKart Peach]], etc. Granted, not all of them are so little or badass, but you know... ** While playing the FinalFantasyXIV Open Beta, I made myself a Miqo'te with cotton-candy-hair, short, and a Lancer. While I focused on experimentation on my main male Elezen, she just got to grind. And end up doing more damage than I still have yet to mete. ** [[FinalFantasyX Rikku]] is mai waifu. * [[ShinMegamiTensei Alice]] is an absolute monster when properly leveled due to ''massive'' Magic overleveling in most games. ''[[SignatureMove Die]] [[OneHitKO For]] [[CastingAShadow Me!]]'''s just another weapon if you fuse her correctly. I pair her with BadassAdorable Black Frost and SoCoolItsAwesome Matador. * One of this troper's Pathfinder characters was this, namely his female Arcane duelist bard, Rosalie. Despite being a 3/4 BAB progression class that is usually the buffer of the group, she maintained an AC of 45, above even the tank fighter's, and could fight about as well as the fighters, wielding a rapier with the lifedrinking property, meaning she caused negative levels and gained temporary HP on a crit, which was often the case. She did all this in a frilly pink dress (with [[GameBreaker celestial chain]] sewn into it) and candy themed hair decorations tying back her pink twin, princess curl pigtails. Oh and she had the [[ArtifactOfDoom eye of Vecna]] and was a [[AristocratsAreEvil sociopathic cannibal]] with a candy fetish BEFORE it was installed in her skull. ---Wait, what?! You left the Mistress back at the [[LittleMissBadass main page]] with all those people? I'll get the mop, you get her a camisole that isn't red...

LittleMissSnarker * In middle school this male troper knew a rather obnoxious variety of this. She would call me a crybaby whenever she caught me crying in the slightest, no matter how much I tried to hide it... when catching me talking to myself she would be all like "oh look the crybaby guy is talking to his imaginary friends now." She even spread false rumours about me, and defended them by saying [[InsaneTrollLogic "well if they weren't true you wouldn't be getting all defensive now would you?"]] And so, I am not fond of the idea of associating snarkiness with intelligence, especially with how ridiculous the logic of some of her snarking was. (On a sidenote, she was [[FoeYay rumoured to have a crush on me]], though I never got to see her reactions to that rumour,

and if it were true then that is a horrible approach to take to hiding OR expressing it.) ** how old were you 12? not many people when your that young know how to express those newfangled feelings they're suddenly having. granted years later they most likely still won't be able to express those feelings reliably. *** About 12, at the time, yeah. In any case, not knowing how to express them is not an excuse. ** A real life {{Tsundere}}? *** I added it to that page's TroperTales section as well, but really it isn't as endearing when you encounter one in real life. * my neighbor across the street from where i used to live was like this when she wasn't just plain out mean to my brother, it was quite obvious she liked him though. * I've been told (in a rather harsh manner) that I was somewhat like this when I was younger...and by younger, I mean when I was around seven or eight years old. Granted, I'm probably more of a {{Deadpan Snarker}} now, but in reality, I'm not that bad. Really. * Both of my little sisters (ages 9 and 15) fit this to some degree. * Pick just about any little girl on this troper's bus. She's a LittleMissSnarker. * this troper could almost be mistaken for this. she looks young enough people often think she's still got a few years before she hits legal drinking age even tho she's in her early 30's (seriously, it's to the point she gets mistaken for being younger than her oldest niece) and can snark with the best of them. granted, while her experiences with public schooling and growing up with the neighborhood bully living in the house behind hers made her pretty withdrawn from people and develop an attitude of expect the worst because then you'll be pleasantly surprised instead of crushed at an early age the few people that did get on friendly terms with her knew that she could be a real LittleMissSnarker even when she really was little and when not around people she was friendly with/trusted she'd have snarky internal monologues going on in her head, so she really was one at one point. having a high IQ (to the point in elementary school she was correcting teachers about some science matters, did long division for fun three years before she was in the grade that covered that, and was reading at a college level by grade 3 and was using words some of her teachers didn't even know) and putting up with mass stupidity and illogical behavior from classmates can lead one to become a snarker even if they weren't on the receiving end of childhood bullying and a sickly kid. ** this troper has also been compared to House, as in "you're what House would be if he was small, female, and slightly more jovial with his snarking."

LivingInAFurnitureStore * One of This troper's friend's house is the posterchild of this trope. Everything is very clean and color coordinated but also warm and... friendly?...well worn?... Don't really know how to describe it but no matter if there's been three teenage dudes living there with no supervision for a week, a party consisting of at least 60 people all

being rowdy, or a great dane and two golden retrievers set loose everything stays clean. And they won't tell me how they do it. [[TheDresdenFiles Hmmm]] I'm thinking brownies. * @/DesertDragon: My maternal grandmother and aunts play this trope annoyingly straight with their houses. Pristine white carpets that you have to take your shoes off before walking on, [[strike:white]] champagne-colored furniture, brass tables and shelves with prissy glass figurines, etc. There's never a tv in the living room and you rarely eat in the dining room except Sundays and holidays. All eating and socializing are normally done in the kitchen and den. My mom ''tries'' to achieve the same effect but we don't have her family's money. Nonetheless, now that I'm on my own, one of my biggest rules is that '''THE LIVING ROOM IS FOR LIVING.''' Put your feet on the coffee table as you eat dinner while watching tv. Um, all my furniture is dark-colored for obvious reasons. * My mother ''adores'' this trope. The living room is a lovely combination of dark brown leather couches, champagne toned curtains, and wooden tables (I'm not really doing justice in this description, the wood is dark, the tables are topped with white marble, the couches have champagne decorative pillows...). God spare your soul if you live through the lecture that she'll give if you spill anything in her kitchen, and leave it there, ''even if it's just while you get the mop to clean it up''. My apartment is still fairly new (Just moved in!), but me and my roommate have enough stuff that the place looks ''lived in'', not some showroom. Clothes, shoes, paints, sketchbooks, and an infinite array of cables leading to out (for now) improvised computer area, and a clean but always busy kitchen. Best house I've lived in. * My aunt and uncle live in a very clean house, that I am almost afraid to touch anything in-things have changed a bit for them now they have three children aged 5, 2 and 6 months, but it is still impossibly clean compared to my house. * I grew up in a household where no one cared about "perfection" (not that we were dirty or messy per se, but there were always things lying around), and thus find this trope in RealLife severely unsettling. * My aunt and uncle are like this. For years they lived in a house with white carpet and pure white furniture, and all sorts of knicknacks you didn't dare breathe on. My cousin hated it; she said it was like living in a museum, and she used to love coming over to my house, where we actually ''lived''. * My mom's ideal house would probably be this, but as she's outnumbered 5 to 1 by people who aren't nearly as neat it's pretty much a lost cause. We've had more than a few arguments about mess because my ideal state is moderate clutter. --Take your shoes off before going back to LivingInAFurnitureStore.

LivingShadow * This troper wrote a story for her creative writing class involving a LivingShadow. It ended up murdering it's "host" at the end. * This troper has seen shadow people several times during childhood.

They appeared to be featureless humanoid figures whose limbs ended in points rather than hands or feet, briefly seen running along a wall. In later years, I learned about hypnagogia ("waking sleep"), a physiological state responsible for such things (as well as the famous feeling of waking up with a great weight on your chest). Then just recently, at age thirty-one, I saw one ''again'', while out walking at night with my father. It momentarily appeared in front of a house's garage, hunched over and running parallel to our path on the sidewalk. It was in open space, it was moving, and after a second there was nothing there. * I once saw shadow people. To be fair, I had a very high fever. I tried talking to them and my mom walked in and told me I was sick and had to rest. * Arnego Moloch, from New Dawn Hollow Dusk's planned Second Arc, can animate shadows and even make them revolt against their "owner", turning the shadows of a whole army division into a field of spears which he uses to kill the whole division, and then he uses Part II of his powers: The Dead Rise. Good thing he's got horrible luck, is usually incompetent, and a DirtyCoward or ''[[NighInvulnerable fighting him would be virtually impossible.]]''

LizLemonJob [[redirect:TroperTales/OnlySaneEmployee]]

LoadBearingBoss * This Troper was playing a session of ''{{Exalted}}'' last night. Our team of Solars had a long-ass battle with a pair of hundred-plusexperience Infernals in an ancient, buried, and desecrated temple to the Unconquered Sun. When we finally finish off the second one, the cavern through which we entered, which had been inhabited by a thousand or so blood apes who were mining, collapsed in on itself. Given, the chapel itself didn't collapse (though it rained ink, for some reason), but we had to blast our way out through the ceiling in order to get out of there later. * Parodied in an RPG parody I'm writing, where the first boss is called Central Column, and naturally, defeating it causes this trope. * Justified in this troper's run through of ''The Sunless Citadel.'' The DM altered the adventure slightly, so that as players, we felt obliged to destroy the Gulthias Tree, to prevent its spread of corruption, yet the tree itself was all that was holding up the remaining structure of the ruined citadel. It was literally load bearing, yet not technically a boss.

LocalHangout * [[DaNuke Da_Nuke]] so far has had four Local Hangouts: a back then small bar not far away from school, a restaurant at the Seafood Market, a friend's house, and the electronics lab. Why the electronics lab? Because a lot of his school friends are from electronics. * [[{{Divra}}This Troper]] is so much a regular at the Student Union

bar that he has taken to calling it his living room. Complete with personal chair and being on first-name basis with all the staff. * For much of high school, this was a place called Vinnie's Pizza, which this troper and friends hit every afternoon right after school. The "recurring character" there was a regular employee, not the owner, but we were collectively aware enough of that aspect of the trope that we just started calling him Vinny anyway, since he was behind the counter every time. * This college-age troper and his friends had "the table." It was simply a table in their college's food court where there could ''always'' be found hanging out when they weren't in class. The table was initially frequented by only about 5 or 6 people, who gradually brought more and more friends until eventually they had to push two tables together to acommodate everyone. It was, for its time, the largest table in the food court--which its members took immense pride in. * HoCo, MD has been hit with Tutti Frutti. Especially after gaining popularity from a charity night, almost everyone visits it several times a week. * During high school, my circle of friends had three separate hangouts. Two were corners (one in the cafeteria, another outside the gym so we could laugh at jocks), and the other was the comic store downtown where we'd get out D&D supplies. * This Troper lives in a university, just a block away from the downtown area, that is very friendly to small businesses like coffee shops and burger joints. ''Everyone'' here has a Local Hangout that they speak of almost patriotically - Yum Yum's, Old Town Draught House, Tate Street Coffee, etc. Mine is Coffeeology, a very small place that serves breakfast all day, as well as gelato, made in-house. Yum. * This troper and her friends are usually to be found at one of three places. Giovanni's, a small family pizza place a block from their school with Zeppoli to die for, the school's (unused) back stairwell, where we can have lunch and be geeks and be happy, and the mall's Barnes & Nobles, because, gosh, books. If you're looking for this trope, try looking at the Main/LocalHangout, that's where it spends most of its time. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LockedInAFreezer * In college my wife took a cooking class that met at night - in other words, when the building was otherwise empty. She went down to the walk-in freezer for an ingredient - where no one in the class could possibly have heard her - and wound up having the door shut on her. Meticulously working the inside handle according to the instructions posted for just such an emergency was to no avail. She was let out soon by a classmate who just happened to come down for an ingredient herself; see, everyone thought she had simply left early, oblivious to

the fact that she was actually locked in a freezer. She never had time to make it to the "scared out of her wits" stage, having only gotten to the "blind with rage" (at the situation) stage. * This troper was locked in a freezer in the fourth grade. Fortunately, the lunch ladies heard me shouting, and let me out. * It's mildly creepy there's a Troper Tales page for ''that''. ** More creepy: There are more than just one or two examples. * Averted, in my case. Me and friends were exploring a creepy-ass abandoned restaurant that we figured out was haunted by the ghost of a man who had gone blind and would try to steal the eyes of those who trespassed(don't ask.) We were exploring the kitchen, which was by far the creepiest part. We noticed there was a walk in freezer, and we all simply stared, until I stated that we were just going to NOT OPEN THAT DOOR UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. And we didn't. * {{Eban}} used to work sanitation for a large turkey processing plant. Specifically I had to clean the giant freezer. Average temperature was 15 degrees (fahrenheit). Even being wet it wasn't particularly cold. You acclimate to it rather fast and seeing as I wore no more than jeans and a t-shirt in there I was incentivized to get used to it quick. There's no real threat until it gets below zero of freezing to death. The smaller the space the easier it is for a person's own body heat to keep it warm enough to be livable. This was a cavernous space, but it had little airflow. * My ''cat'' got locked in a freezer once. Well, alright, it was actually a fridge, and nothing happened to him. He is now terrified of fridges. Serves him right, though -- he used to like climbing into the fridge and burrowing between the carrots, so it was bound to happen. * This troper used to work at his school's food court, and once got stuck in the beverage cooler, although the only thing holding him in was his own stupidity: he kept fiddling with the door handle, trying to figure out how to open the door, only realizing after a few minutes that all he had to do was push on the door itself to open it. *facepalm* * This troper got locked in a freezer one time when he was a training butcher at his previous job. While going into the freezer at his job to get something for the frozen department there was someone from Bakery in there as well. I was in there for a bit, then I heard the door close behind be. For someone reason the door would not open which didn't help. I tried kicking the door open a few times, before the Bakery dude opened the door to which he said to me "I didn't know you were in there." Now how hard is it to see someone in a long white coat and red apron. Something similar happened to this troper's dad once when he worked at the local Red Lobster when it first opened. He got stuck in the freezer for 30 minutes, using a can of something (I don't remember what it was) to bang on the door to let him out. The other workers there though that the noise they heard was the construction that was going on in the building. * This editor knew a guy who somehow locked -himself- in a freezer for a whole night. At first he banged against the door for a long time to no avail, but after that, he just made himself a sandwich, fell asleep using a bunch of hot dog buns as a mattress, and was rescued in the morning.

* This troper was personally locked in a freezer for about a minute, in a busy kitchen, fortunately (or not, as we will soon see). The handle featured an obvious emergency release for just such a situation. The outside lock clattered to the floor, but the door still wouldn't budge. After a few seconds of banging on it, someone pulled... Oh, I was supposed to be ''pushing'' it this whole time?! * This troper had a colleague who got stuck in a freezer at work, in a hotel, his on-site phone (which has limited reach on certain parts of the premises) couldn't access the network, so the poor guy had to resort to calling yet another colleague (Third party) in order to call the hotel (the chap who had locked himself in DIDN'T EVEN HAVE THE PHONE NUMBER OF THE PLACE THAT EMPLOYED HIM) in order to get the Manager on duty to come down to the basement and let him out. Truth be told the big red escape button was slightly knackered, but still. A tub of ice cream got him stuck for 40 minutes, thinking he was going to die. ''Priceless.'' * When this troper first started working at a pizza place with a walkin freezer, he was worried about being subjected to this trope. However, as it turned out, the door doesn't even have a latch, let alone a lock, leading this troper to be extremely skeptical of all contemporary fictional instances of this trope. * A colleague of mine told about her former job and the freezer they had: it was cooled with nitrogen and would reach temperatures below 200 degrees celcius. It wasn't pretty when someday someone got stuck in there and the thing turned on... * This editor's mother is a chef. Her locked-in-a-freezer experience was rewarded only with a chunk being taken out of her finger. Why? She had to wrench open the door herself, as she was alone and no one could hear her scream. * this troper was locked in her summer camp's huge freezer after yelling on of the cooks she was claustrophobic. it was apparently a joke. * During her time working at a steakhouse, this troper's sister had the freezer lock on her while she was still inside. Noticing a pullswitch by the door, she tried it several times, to no effect. Turned out it was an alarm for contacting emergency services if the place was ever attacked and the staff got locked into/had to take cover in the freezer. Thankfully, her boss took the whole thing in stride, and even paid the fine for a false alarm instead of taking it out of her paycheck. Now, it ''did'' become a major in-joke with her boss and coworkers teasing her about it, but considering how ''else'' it could have gone... * This troper once worked for an inventory-taking company. While inventorying the freezer of a grocery store, well, guess what happened. Thank goodness for cell phones and practiced nonchalance. The following resulted: --> Me: Hmm. Door won't fricking open. Well. I got the cell number for one of the other guys on this job, so *beepbeep* --> Buddy: Yo, what's up? --> Me: Need some help in the cold locker. --> Buddy: Too much for you to count, huh, On my way, slow-ass. --> Buddy comes to the cold locker, frees the stuck hasp (without, for

the moment, realizing that he HAD to do something special to open the door), and opens the door. --> Buddy: Ok so what help did you need? --> Me: Needed you to open the door. I'm done. Thanks. ---Don't just stay here until you're frozen; go back to LockedInAFreezer. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LockedInARoom * I had three friends who all got stuck in an elevator... we'll call them Albert, Bob and Chuck. Chuck happened to be my boyfriend at the time, and made his own comedy show for student television - the kind that had about 3 viewers on a good week. They were stuck between floors and had to have security get them out. The elevator was really hot and it took a while for them to be freed. Chuck told me that, though Albert remained very cool, Bob found the whole experience really upsetting. Chuck, being the [[SarcasmMode awesome friend]] that he was, decided to recreate the scene for his student TV show, with Albert playing himself, and Chuck in an anorak playing Bob with an exaggerated folksy accent, in what he presumably thought was cuttingedge observational comedy. Later on, Bob told me that despite Chuck's mocking, he had panicked just as much as Bob himself had. ** And Chuck eventually confessed to me (though not to Albert or Bob) that the elevator didn't exactly fail. In fact, Chuck, sure of the [[HilarityEnsues hilarity that would obviously ensue]], had secretly pressed the Emergency Stop button. ** It wasn't actually thanks to that incident that I split up with Chuck, though it's certainly one of the things that make me glad I did. * [[Tropers/{{Nayrani}} I]] got locked a few times before ([[NightmareFuel by myself]]). First when I was about 7 years old, I accidentally got locked into a gym by a teacher. I pretty much broke down in tears when I realized I couldn't get out until they actually noticed I wasn't in class. Second time was just today... after school I decided to sneak through the back door ([[ItSeemedLikeAGoodIdeaAtTheTime for some reason]]). Of course, the exit was closed. Big deal, I'll just go back through the normal doors... oh wait, the stair door I just came through only open on the other side. I'm not claustrophobic, but closed doors made me difficult to breathe. So I did the next sensible thing I could... [[BathroomBreakOut climb out a window in the men's restroom]]. --------------------Back to [[LockedInARoom Locked In A Room]] on main... Wait... I can't get out!!

LondonEnglandSyndrome

* After having lived in London, Ontario for the last two decades this troper has to deal with this regularly. When I am referring to the 'other London' I have to use the London, England form and when I am talking about my hometown on an international Internet discussion board I will even state London, Ontario, Canada just to make sure there is no confusion. ** This troper thought he was averting the TropeNamer when speaking to a Canadian Customs officer in Toronto and was asked where he was arriving from. I had flown from Heathrow to Toronto via Chicago, so my response was "London, via Chicago." The customs officer gave me an are-you-going-to-make-me-beat-it-out-of-you look and impatiently demanded, "London,....?" [[SarcasmMode Right]], because I made the flight equivalent of a two-hour drive by ''changing planes outside the country''. You couldn't even book that if you tried! * This troper finds his hometown of Grand Forks, British Columbia (Canada) is often confused with the similarly sized town of Grand Forks, North Dakota. ** I would have thought it would be [[Literature/{{Twilight}} this]] one. * This troper is from Illinois. We have a Peru. And an Oregon. And a Cairo. And she still has to ask "South America or north of here?", or "State or city?" The pronunciation difference with Cairo (Egypt is "KY-ro," Illinois is "KAY-ro"; no, I don't know why) usually averts this, unless it's in print. ** Wait, do you live in southern Illinois? ** This troper from Missouri feel that the pronunciation of Cairo as "KAY-ro" grates on her ears, as does people saying "Ver-SALES," Indiana. It's "KY-ro" and "Ver-SIGH." * facepalm* * This troper's friend, on saying he was from the city of Liverpool whilst in Florida, was apparently asked "Oh, Liverpool! Do you know any of TheBeatles?" ** Which [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liverpool_%28disambiguation%29 Liverpool]]'s that, then? * Peru Indiana, Ireland Indiana, Brazil Indiana, Kokomo Indiana. Then of course there's London Ohio, London Kentucky. Also bizarrely Delaware Ohio. * This troper is a Spaniard, and there are lots of Latin American cities named after Spanish ones. Also, she's got plenty of Latin friends, and she always has to pause and think, "Wait, no, they mean Guadalajara, Mxico, not the one in Spain..." * This Troper lives in the State of New York, she has to keep telling people that she lives in the state, not the city. ** The above is the bane of This Troper's existence. [[{{Irony}} It's actually simpler to say she's from Erie, Pennsylvania.]] * By way of an inversion, in the UK there's New York, Lincolnshire and California, Norfolk. One can only imagine [[HilarityEnsues what happens]] when a resident of either of these tiny villages tries to explain where they're from. ** There are also a couple of New Yorks in the North. One's a village a few miles outside Newcastle-upon-Tyne; the other is on the River Nidd in North Yorkshire. Not helping matters is the fact that the former isn't far from the original (apparently) Washington: it's

entirely possible to drive between Washington and New York up the north-east coast. * This Troper, when living in Missouri, told a somewhat ditzy coworker that his parents lived in New Jersey. Her response? "New Jersey, Missouri"? To this day, he doesn't know if there actually ''is'' a New Jersey, MO. * Moscow. That is all. ** Idaho or Russia? *** Or Vermont? *** or Pennsylvania * Birmingham, Alabama has the extra bonus of having an uncannily similar history to Birmingham, England (Well, except for [[TheSixties the civil rights movement and church bombings.]]) ** Some people ask me if Birmingham, Eng. (my homecity), is named after Birmingham, Alabama. Sigh. * [[{{Bluemage}} This troper's]] home town of Vancouver, WA ''will'' cause confusion with people from the East Coast. If he says he's from Vancouver, people assume Vancouver, British Columbia. Say he's from Washington, and people assume DC. If he says he's from Portland (Oregon, just across the Columbia River), people will think of Portland, Maine. * In Missouri, there's a Cuba, a Kabul, a Mexico, and possibly several other confusing location names. * Florida and California, Bergen, Norway, anyone? * Getting directions to Newark Airport in New Jersey, this troper was told it was 15 minutes travel time from Pennsylvania Station. Pennsylvania Station (known as Penn Station) is a major transfer point in Manhattan, NYC for rail and subway trains, and is widely known to everyone who ever travels in NYC. It seems that Newark, New Jersey also has a Pennsylvania Station, which no one outside of the nearby area has ever heard of, which is the one 15 minutes from the airport. ** Don't worry, even locals get confused between Newark Penn and New York Penn sometimes. [[SarcasmMode Good planning there.]] * While watching Tim Burton's version of ''CharlieAndTheChocolateFactory'', this troper couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at Violet Beauregarde's nationality: Germany and England are pretty well-known countries, but [[HollywoodAtlas who ever heard of Georgia?]] As it turned out, there's also a state in the US named Georgia. * This troper encountered this while driving cross-country in the USA. He found it particularly hilarious when he drove by Carthage, Athens, Lebanon, and many other Eastern Europeon and Middle Eastern places. It was topped off by seeing a town named Sparta. One can only imagine the sort of reaction Sparta USA had to the whole 300 THIS. IS. SPARTA. meme. * When I was at school, another boy (who was from Greenwich, of Observatory fame) got all excited about a magazine article about a detective, until it was pointed out to him that the article said that the guy was from Greenwich ''Village'' -- the one in New York, NY. To further confuse Londoners, New York also has a Chelsea, a Soho and a Battery, complete with Battery Park -- the latter being similar in sound to Battersea, whose main claim to fame (other than the Dogs'

Home, and Clapham Junction for those who realise that the latter is actually in Battersea, not Clapham) is Battersea Park, where part of the Festival of Britain was held (the only part to survive for several years afterward). * I have friends who live in Bury, which is just north of Manchester, UK. To my university companions they all think I mean Bury St Edmonds, near Cambridge. The two are over 150 miles apart (a long distance for the UK). * Australia can provide more than a few. In Queensland there's a Texas ([[EverythingIsBigInTexas though its not that big a town]]) and a suburb on the Gold Coast called Miami. There's also a Warwick and Ipswich compared to Warwick and Ipswich in England. ** There's also a purely Australian example. There's a suburb called Windsor in the state capitals of Queensland, New South Wales and Victoria. * Hamilton. * Ah, good old Eatern Pennsylvania: Lancaster, Reading, Lebanon, to name a few. I once thought it a decent idea to move to Intercourse, PA and try to make a killing in t-shirts and hats. * America is just north of oxford. * When I was a little girl watching reruns of the Fresh Prince of BelAir I thought for a surprisingly long time that it had something to do with the local town of Bel Air, Maryland. Bel Air, MD can also be confusing for non-locals who often mix up directions between Bel Air the town, Bel Air Road, Belair Road, and Blair Road (which is, of course, near the location of the Blair Witch Project). I still confuse Chapel Hill, NC and Chapel Hill, MD. * This troper has something of an inversion. As an American from New Jersey who currently lives in the TropeNamer city of London, England, I was more than slightly surprised to find that there was a Newark in England. Also, Jersey causes a lot of confusion. Most people (in the northeast of America, anyway) always refer to New Jersey as Jersey. So this troper got massively confused that her school was having a field trip to Jersey...until she realized they meant the ''Bailiwick'' of Jersey, which was a hell of a lot closer. ** This Troper lives near the Newark in England. It's full name is Newark-on-Trent, but no-one calls it that. There are a large number of places called Newark around the world (mostly in the US and Australia), and the England one hosted a "Newarks of the world festival" in 1995. * I live in Norway. Once I got a letter from USA that had made a little detour and picked up some extra stamps and a written clarification: "That's Norway, EUROPE!". * When this Troper's family went to America one Christmas we were staying in the city of Betehlehem in Pennsylvania (there is also a Nazareth nearby). ** Also, one purpose of this was to visit some freinds my dad had made online, apparently when he told them he was from Manchester (England) he was asked which one (I don't think he was aware that there were other Manchesters in America before that). * Ohio's got plenty - London, Geneva, Medina (That's Meh-die-nah), Lancaster, Rome, Windsor, Lima, Kent, and Troy just to name a few.

Although most of those aren't exactly booming centers of population. * [[Tropers/ThirtyTwoFootsteps This troper]] grew up in Berlin... New Jersey. Which is good for that kind of thing, as he also spent time in Gloucester. Things didn't get any better after leaving the state, as he ended up living just outside of Hollywood... Florida. Moving to Boston hasn't improved anything, with the large number of towns named after towns in England around. * Odd version: I have to say City, Country when talking about Mongolia, or else people will assume it's somewhere in the States they haven't heard of. This has bed over to the rest of my life, resulting in sentences that leave out the state, creating this trope in people who ask where I'm referring to. Mongolia, by the way, has a Hollywood. It's named that for the hell of it and is neither big nor interesting in any way. Due to the transliteration system, though, it's Huulwood which makes you sound like a redneck and evokes this trope when you get, 'Huulwood, USA?' * [[Tropers/{{Burstkiller}} This Troper]] lives in Missouri City, Texas not to be confused with Missouri City in Missouri. Ours is ''much'' bigger. Nearby is a Fresno and a Richmond. All next to the Houston and not the street in Manhattan, the one in the UK or British Columbia. * [[SarcasmMode I take offense to you saying that Frankfurt an der Oder isn't important!]] (My mom was born there.) --------------------Back to [[LondonEnglandSyndrome London England Syndrome]]. On Main/, that is. ** It's in Maine? ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LonelyRichKid * This happens not just with the stereotypically ultra-rich, lives-ina-mansion types, but also with the upper middle class. This troper and an alarmingly large amount of kids in her (very expensive private) school are this. I am more the "upper middle class" type who's never even seen a mansion before, and yet both of my parents work late. For a long while, my mother rarely came home at all because she had to work in Germany, and my father was just unusually obsessed with working in the office until past midnight. I was raised by my grandparents until I was old enough to stay in the house on my own when they were out. ** Other kids in my school have varying levels of this. It's rare to have a parent who is home before 7pm. Many kids live here on their own because their parents' work requires them to be in another country (although sometimes they stay with an older sibling or even a hired nanny). Some just plain don't see their parents much at all due to their work schedules. It's rather disheartening to see your classmates' faces light up with ecstasy at the mere prospect of having lunch with their parents, or hearing nearly half your grade admit that they don't really know what their parents are like because they don't see them often.

* This troper's childhood and early adolescence was unfortunately defined by this trope. My parents' jobs often required them to be either out of the state/country or just at the office late most of the time. I had a nanny for a few years, but became a solo latchkey kid around 9, and because I didn't have anyone to take me to friends' homes, I spent most of my time at home, reading anything I could get my hands on. ItGotWorse: When I was 11, my parents divorced and got joint custody of me, and I was thrust into the "messenger kid" role between the two of them. One year my mom forgot my birthday (my 12th). Another time, my dad forgot to pick me up at camp. Oh, and when I was 15, my father and stepmother decided to go to Greece for Christmas, and figured I could just stay with my mother while they were gone. They didn't tell me this. My mother was in Brussels for a conference and wouldn't be home for another week. I spent that Christmas in a bizarro ''HomeAlone'' situation (minus the burglars). It wasn't an ideal upbringing by any means, and I was definitely a very lonely and maladjusted kid, but I've gotten some great material out of it over the years (the Home Alone story always kills at Christmas parties). * One of my [[WithFriendsLikeThese friends]] in the Romanian equivalent of junior high had this as his BerserkButton: [[EvillyAffable he]] was the son of a successful lawyer and by no means phlegmatic, but if you commented on his SpoiledBrat status he became almost apoplectic at once. He was also a JerkWithAHeartOfJerk, but a quite mild case thereof, and an avid reader with a better-thanaverage intellect; when in a good mood he was an engaging partner in conversation. A lot of people gave him more flak than he deserved because of his social status, though teachers tended to kiss his ass. Since then I've lost contact with him and found a [[TookALevelInJerkass new level]] of [[YouFailChemistryForEver caustic]] [[GreenEyedMonster bitterness]] toward the [[AristocratsAreEvil upper classes]]; we probably wouldn't get along anymore - Rottenvenetic

LongDistanceRelationship * [[@/HersheleOstropoler This troper]]'s girlfriend moved from the next state to across the country (and then here, but it was a long 10 months). * A country? Don't make [[@/SkarmoryThePG me]] laugh. Try an ocean and six time zones. ** [[UpToEleven Eleven]]. (This relationship ended a few years ago.) At the time I calculated that the distance as the crow flies between us was pretty close to 9/10 the maximum distance between any two places on the planet. ** "Only" time timezones, but either way it's two continents and an ocean, or one continent and two oceans. [[{{Tropers/Erkhyan}} Me:]] Madagascar. Him: California. Time together: 3 years and 2 months as of August 2010. Anywhere farther from me and he'd be living in the Pacific Ocean. It definitely doesn't help that neither of our countries are really friendly to gay immigrants... * Wow, you guys had it easy. Do you have any idea how hard it is to maintain a relationship with someone on the asteroid belt? I thought

not. ** ....and you ''do''? * I left my heart in parallel-universe San Francisco. Beat that. * This troper's best friend has never lived less than two and a half hours away. Thank god for the internet. * This troper has been dating the most wonderful boy on the planet for two years. He lives five hundred miles away, and I've never met him in person. I'm 16, he's 15. It ''will'' work, god dammit. ** He '''says''' he's 15. So 45 at least and so ugly even his mother couldn't love him. :P ** This actually brings up the problem of all long-distance relationships. Is it really 'dating', per se, if you've never been anywhere together? * My fiancee isn't that far away, only 200 miles, but we're both too broke to travel often so I only see her once every 3 or 4 months. * This troper lives in Venezuela. His boyfriend lives in the USA. They both have been dating for almost two years now, and despite not having personally met, they have a rather stable relationship (though that is helped by the internet, some webcams and Skype) and so far it has been working for them. * This troper has an internet friend who she's never met in real life who's in a relationship with a girl he's never met in real life. Conversations between us look really confusing if you don't already know what we're talking about. * This troper was in a relationship entirely over the internet with a girl in Minnesota, he himself dwelling in the UK. I'm fifteen, she's fourteen and I had successfully reached the point where I decided that I was going to drag the relationship out as it was for three years until I was finished with college, at which point I would GTFO the country and move to the US to study at uni. Entirely for the purpose of being with her. I was convinced that we could make it work, but... she wasn't. She ditched me the moment she got asked out in real life. Fun. * This Troper lives in PA and has a boyfriend in North Carolina * This Troper's ex lived in Maryland, while she lived in Sydney, Australia. Despite all our attempts to make it work, the relationship was [[StarcrossedLovers doomed to fail.]] * This troper moves so often that he doesn't even try to have relationships, fearing this trope will make them fail * This (Californian) troper's girlfriend lives in Long Island and we've been together for four years and counting. Surprisingly, everyone who we've explained our relationship to has been understanding and supportive (to the point of our relationship having it's own [[ShipperOnDeck fan club]]). * This Troper is Australian, and his girlfriend lives in the US. It'll probably be another year or two before we can meet in person, but we're both hellbent on making it work. * Me: America. Girlfriend: England. Time together: 4 years. We're happy togeter, and we've been back and forth between the countries. We're living proof, along with nearly everyone on this page, we can all make it work * This troper's _person who hates using the word girlfriend_ have not

met once IRL. We live on opposite sides of the country. ** Compounding the confusion is that we're both into gender-bender: While this troper would be fine spending time with her regardless of our respective genders, she would much rather have herself as a cute bishie-esque guy with me as a nerdish meganekko. :P Oh, and she has trouble with the idea of giving anyone she knows 'preference' in terms of time-spent/emotional connections and whatnot . . . She hates the idea of exclusivity, would prefer it if we were both genderswapped, lives across the country (and can't really leave because of her ill parents who she helps care for,) . . . Something is obviously wrong with me, but I'm far too enamored to admit it. * This Brazilian troper met two girls with boyfriends in different states: one was 538km (334.3 miles). Another is 1712 km (1.063 miles)! (just for clearing: both live, like me, in Minas Gerais. The former had a relationship in Esprito Santo, the latter in Rio Grande do Sul. [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Brazil_states1990.png Handy map]]) * [[{{Tahaneira}} This Troper]] hooked up with his girlfriend about three days before leaving college due to horrible grades, after knowing each other for five months and about two weeks of romantic development. Due to my restarting college and her continuing classes, the fact that we live on opposite sides of Washington state, and her insane mother, we get to see each other, on average, four days every two months. We passed the one-year mark a couple of months back and are still going strong. * Due to being one of the administrators at a game-related Internet forum that has run for several years, and to being from [[LandDownUnder Australia]], which has a tiny amount of influence on the 'Net, this troper has had no less than seven Long Distance Relationships. Despite great determination to wait it out and meet each time, the other half broke it off from the stress, often long before actually meeting. Every single time. After this many failures, the troper has given up on these to instead seek "real life" relationships. Unfortunately, however, due to being a writer, he's got more charisma in writing than in person. * [[AcrossTheStars This troper]] is deliberately invoking this trope. Having done the long distance thing - and had it [[LoveHurts implode spectacularly]] - she decided, "never again" - at least not unless we've got some time together already. So when she met a really wonderful guy on the internet and he asked to meet only a few weeks before she was to spend the summer in Montana - 1500+ miles away - she said, "Yes, but not now." We've been exchanging emails and chatting on AIM. It's working great so far. * This troper's girlfriend lives in the states and she in Canada, and the two have never met IRL. We fight a GENEROUS amount, mostly about her not keeping in touch enough and me looking at other girls too much, but both of those things are pretty much the fault of the trope (having just come out to, well, myself, girls are an aspect of life I can't very well ignore). At the core though she's my favourite part of life and I'm holding out for a visit this summer--although we already have conversations about [[SickeninglySweethearts all the cute things we'd do with each other if she ever came up,]] and those are honestly enough to last me. Besides, her mom doesn't know, so even if we could

be together we'd have to put a plug in the PDA. * My friend was in one recently, but he turned out to be a weirdo in real life * ...less extreme example coming through. [[{{Expthka}} This troper]]'s boyfriend is three hours away, though with gas prices, schedule conflicts and whathaveyou, it can sometimes feel like he's in another province. * An example likely to backfire on myself,I have an open relationship ([[CakeEater with a significantly older man]]) across the nation.I plan on moving to his locale eventually [[WillTheyOrWontThey ...if he's not taken first]] * This Troper lives in [[CanadaEh Manitoba]]. Her boyfriend lives in Virginia. They have not met in real life yet, though that is upcoming, and most people seem to believe that they are just meeting for sex. Err. No. * This troper is in a relationship that is entirely over the internet. Me: Melbourne, Australia. Him: Florida, USA. I love him with all my heart but YE GODS do I wish I was rich. (For plane tickets and such.) * I met a gal in college when I was a sophomore. We lived on either side of the US at that time, but stuck with the relationship through summer and winter breaks, her study abroad program in England, and her teaching in Austria for most of a year. Our 8-year wedding anniversary is next month. :) * Boifriend lives in South Dakota, Troper lives in NY. We get to see each other every summer, but really, for a troper with abandonment issues... Once a week isn't within throwing distance of enough. ** This troper, also from South Dakota (who knows the above troper's boifriend in real life, unless something is seriously creepycoincidental), has his boyfriend in New Mexico. He has (only so slightly) jokingly suggested that he merge South Dakota, New York, New Mexico, and the states a few of his best friends/said friends' significant others into one state, and air-lift everyone in. * In a married example of this trope, this troper's grandfather spent several years stationed with the American Air Force in The Philippines, while my grandmother stayed in Tennessee raising my mother. They were HappilyMarried until she was afflicted with latestage dementia about two years ago, and even now, he [[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming refuses to put her in a nursing home]]. * Hoo boy! This troper and her husband are in a Long Distance Relationship due to the stupid economy. Both of us ended up getting job offers in the same week on opposite ends of the country. It was either this or one of us would never work again, but it still stinks. * I live in America, and my boyfriend's in Japan. People think it's weird but I don't care, I love the hell out of him. * Raekuul from Cincinnati is currently in a LDR with a beautiful woman from Rosario, Argentina. * I'm a girl from Portugal, she's from North Carolina, USA. And she's literally perfect for me. I'll wait as long as she still likes me, even if it takes forever. * [[Tropers/FredFoobar This troper]] met his girlfriend on a summer internship in San Diego - two weeks before he had to go back to college in Michigan. We're still keeping things going, though, thanks

to webcams, Google Talk, and cell phones. Three time zones' difference makes things tricky, but not impossible, considering I stay up and get up late anyway. Fortunately, I'll get to see her again for sure this summer... Can't wait! * [[{{Tropers/TroyMartin}} This troper]] lives in Vancouver, Canada. My girlfriend lives in Massachusetts. If it weren't for these damn age limitations on border crossings and driving (not to mention the money and school factors) I would be there without a doubt. Thank you, Internet, for helping me find this wonderful girl. * My ex-boyfriend and I lived four timezones away from each other. To make it worse, there was a certain three-year age difference which ensured it would be years before we got to meet each other in real life. It was complicated. But neither of these were the reason we broke up, well over a year after we started dating. * This troper's best friend is engaged following one of these. This troper introduced the two to each other via the glorious internet, and then they met up, it was all so wonderful. * This troper will have no-one but him, yet we live on opposite ends of the US. However, he intends to save up money for plane tickets so [[MyBelovedSmother my mom]] and I can come over and I can attend his prom(while mom hopefully gets acquainted with his parents so she might be willing to let me go alone next time). * Had a previous relationship was a time zone and four states distant...about 3 years and two meets later, we had a few compatibility issues, and well, there's a reason it's a previous relationship. Still...they were good times. * This troper's life was saved by a man met in a chatroom for [[BittersweetCandyBowl a webcomic about drama cats]]. We were planning on living together before that, but it brought about a realization of how deep the love between us goes. * [[{{Tropers/Ventisia}} Ths Troper's friend]] met her boyfriend online on Wizard101 (which is actually a pretty good game) of all places. They started out as friends, but eventually started dating. They've been together for at least a year now, and they're very close considering they've never met in real life (we live in Indiana, but he's in Pennsylvania). They talk on the phone every night, text a lot, video chat, get on Wizard together... * This troper fell in love with a woman I met in a roleplayers' chatroom. We I.M.ed and texted daily and spoke on the phone at least once a week for the better part of a year and made plans to meet during her Winter Break. Sadly, it never happened as she was diagnosed with bone cancer and was forced to move back in with her parents while she was going through chemotherapy. She tried to get me to leave her then but I refused to abandon her in her time of need. The next few years, I tried to weather the communication difficulties caused by her parents only having dial-up Internet (in 2007!), their only having one phone line, Dad having a job that required he be on-call 24-7 (which meant no "talking cute" for hours at a time) and them living in the one place in America my cell-phone provider didn't have coverage denying me the power to get her a phone on my plan. I couldn't go visit her because at the time I was working a minimum wage job with no benefits and no vacation time. Eventually, after nearly five years

together, I did break up with her as I realized the bright, vibrant woman with big plans for the future I'd fallen for had died and been replaced by an apathetic couch potato who couldn't be arsed to send me an IM letting me know she was still alive more than once a month. ** [[TearJerker Oh God.]] * For two people living in adjacent provinces, this shouldn't be the case. But since he's seventeen and in college and in a town that I will never be allowed to set foot in because of its dangerous reputation, while [[Tropers/{{MiraShio}} I'm]] fifteen and in high school and not even allowed to be in a relationship yet, it might as well be. * This Venezuelan troper has been in Belgium for the past ten months as an exchange student. Two months ago, she started dating her current, Belgian, girlfriend. She (the troper) goes back home in two weeks. Cue depressing Snow Patrol music. * Me: Washington. Her: California. Planning to meet in August of 2011. We're very happy with each other and very much in love. Biggest Problem: Unsupportive Parents. FML * This troper lives in Missouri and his girlfriend lives in California. This is our second time being in a relationship (I was a high school freshman the first time [first time lasted 7 months, by the way] now graduated). She's wanting to focus on school and me, being the nice guy that I am, is going along with it. In any case, we're planning on meeting next year after she graduates. And seeing that she'd rather not have me go to Cali, I'll fly her out here to Missouri. It'll be great. And I'm expecting sex. Lots and lots of sex... ---I miss you, Baby! I can't wait until I can go back to LongDistanceRelationship! <<|TroperTales|>>

LongingLook * I wasn't looking at that sudoku you were doing. I was looking at you. [[AllLoveIsUnrequited Siiiiiiigh...]]

LongList Examples: * [[Tropers/EternallyAnonymous I]] work at a Dairy Queen, every now and then someone will ask what kind of Blizzard/shake/sundae flavours we have. Well, we have 20 sundae and shake flavours, and more than 30 Blizzard flavours. So, every now and then, I list them off rapid fire, only pausing for breath when I change the page. I'm usually asked the repeat the list, albeit slower. * When asked to do something my usual response is "Fine, but I require a roll of pink duct tape, a box of Band-Aids, a 24 pak of flavored water, 50 USD worth of 24 karat gold, a lock pick, a

[[KatanasAreJustBetter katana]], (some video game that I want goes here), a pony, and a working time machine.

LookBehindYou * You'd be surprized how often "LOOK! A Flying bird!" works ** OH LOOK, A DISTRACTION! * A former classmate had tried to use this while trying to block her from exiting a safe zone in a P.E game that was similar to capture the flag. I tried to subvert this by pretending to fall for it only to turn back once she was out of the safe zone, but it was [[DoubleSubversion double subverted]] when I wasn't able to tag her. * [[Tropers/{{Specialist290}} Yours truly]] likes to randomly point and say, "Look, a distraction!" in a perfectly casual tone of voice while talking to a group of people. Inevitably, someone ''always'' falls for it. HilarityEnsues. ** This troper uses that occasionally, and in an improv game in Drama class, I used it to get off the stage and tag another person (It basically works as someone goes up on stage, improvises a small scene, makes an exit and another person goes up). *** Someone [[AnthonyMercer I]] know uses "A bear!" ** {{Excel-2009}}. [[OlderThanTheyThink I thought I invented that one.]] *** What is Excell-2009? ** This troper tried that exact phrase it in a heated game of ultimate frisbee to distract someone guarding me. It worked too well. The blocker looked, as did my receiver, who was wide o