for pretending to care.

And while slapping me, they would get something off of their chest, and that would be a good thing for them, wouldn't it? ** This troper thinks that you have been misdiagnosed due to a bad therapist. A better one would have actually talked to you about the problem at the beginning and have gone from there. * This troper remembers one particular time in high school being called out for seemingly not having any empathy. A girl in his class not long after being expelled - was killed in a car crash, and the entire high school (not very big) was brought together for an assembly, for which this troper was decidedly indifferent. When someone noticed and called him on it later, his response was something to the effect of, "Well, of course my insides aren't having a party, but...what the hell do you want me to do? Be (name of dead girl's best friend, who broke down and staggered out of the auditorium crying in the middle of the assembly, which was admittedly [[TearJerker a bit difficult for anyone with a soul to watch]])? I can't do that. We weren't friends. She [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] hated me, actually." * Two of my friends spring to mind, and until fairly recently myself as well. To wit... in high school, a girl died in a car crash. A girl we all knew. Not well, but we knew her. Small school. She had been friendly with us, we weren't receptive, she kept trying, et cetera. Rather annoying, really. We may have been the only ones at the school who didn't even bother to feign sympathy. I suspect all three of us were glad she died, though I can only speak for myself and the worse of the other two. I've gotten better about empathy. I can still detach myself from a situation with little effort, but at least my default position is to care. The others... not so much. They went a different route. ** On the same note, my sister's ex-boyfriend committed suicide while in the Army. I was invited to the funeral by my weepy-eyed mother. "I don't think that would be appropriate." I looked, presumably, like I was holding in my sorrow. In truth? I was, and am, glad he did it. He was a dick. I was not his friend, he was not mine. I refused to go to his funeral out of respect for the people with whom he was on good terms with, because I didn't give a shit that he died. ** Finally, on a slightly more sympathetic note, I want my grandmother to die. Not because of any reasons you might expect from a complete monster. True she's annoying because her hearing loss means people have to shout to talk to her, but she's one of the few members of my family I like and respect. Yes I'm tired of her making me late for work because my mom has to herd her into the car, but the people I work for understand. These are not my reasons. Those have to do with the fact that she has very late-stage Alzheimer's disease, and has little to no short term memory left at all. Nothing she experiences stays in her head for more than five minutes. Life to her is a constant feeling of "Why aren't I at (my aunt who takes care of her most of the time)'s house? Did I say goodbye? I don't remember it getting to be this late." And so on, and so forth. Living like that cannot be pleasant, especially when everyone around you makes you feel useless. ----

If you go back to LackOfEmpathy, you have no soul. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LaconicWiki * Laconinc Wiki is made of win. Let's face it: most articles are TL;DR. I only read the laconic version (if it's available) and then the examples. * Thank God for the laconic wiki. This Troper didn't figure out just what the hell MarySue meant for ages, because it just wasn't explained properly for someone who'd never heard the term before. The ''{{Yu-GiOh The Abridged Series}}'' quote about GaryStu didn't help either, since it wasn't actually an example of a MartyStu at all, but of RememberTheNewGuy. * [[@/{{Quanyails}} I]] like using the laconic wiki for various tropes I can't be bothered to read through the description as well. With one click, I'm able to get a concise definition... most of the time. * I read the Laconic entries so when people ask me what that book/movie/game is about, I don't have to spend fifteen awkward seconds trying to summarize a complex plot (before giving up) for someone who probably isn't honestly interested.

LadiesAndGerms * I use "Lady, Gentleman, and... little monsters." on my mom, dad, and little brothers, respectively. * This troper once managed to use "Ladies, Gentlemen, and poultry..." * [[{{Aryn}} This Troper]]'s father loves to use "[[JustForPun Boys and Berries...]]" * This troper heard at a friends PhD lecture "Ladies, Gentlemen,... Undergraduates who are here for the buffet" * There was only one guy in my A2 geography class. Needless to say, instructions were prefixed "Ladies and Jamie, ...", and furthermore, Physics class was introduced often with "Ladies, Gentlemen, others and those who haven't decided yet." * This troper has heard "ladies and gentlefuckers" more often than is probably reasonable. * [[{{Xifihas}} This Troper]] is a frequenter of the Role Playing #1 chatroom on Kongregate. When making a formal entry to the room (rather than jumping in with a jab at a user's poor spelling, grammar or sentence structure) I will enter with "Good morning/afternoon/evening Ladies, Gentlemen and Gentlemen who pretend to be ladies". * When my brother was younger, he used to use 'Babies and Mentalhens'. As a teenager, he's far too cool for that now. * [[@/RainehDaze This Troper]] has heard teachers using the exact phrasing of the troper name a ridiculous number of times. I've also managed to be the addition ''at the same time''. Why that's necessary still eludes me. * I've used "Ladies, aliens, and mutants" when feeling especially snarky.

* My elementary school gym teacher had an extended version of this: "Ladies and gentlemen, gerbils and hamsters, alligators and crocodiles... etc. " almost veering into [overly long gag] territory * Once a Chinese political leader (either President or Premier, not sure) said in the start of a huge meeting: "Ladies, Gentlemen, and Comrades". Extra hilarity because "comrade" in contemporary Chinese slang means LGBT people. * This LGBT troper is waiting for a chance to use 'ladies, gentlemen, gentlemen who are ladies, ladies who are gentlemen, and those who are in between'. * This troper's history teacher addresses us as "Ladies and Gits" * This troper's DM overlord tends to use "Jade Eels and lentilmen". * [[Tropers/AdelePotter My]] youth group leader greets us with, "Ladies, gentlemen, aliens, fruits, and all other organisms!" * This Troper has an upcoming one-liner for an {{anime}}-based fanfic: "Ladies and gentlemen...and uh, [[AmbiguousGender you]]," * I used this while on my school play:''Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, hermaphrodites and asexuals and thoses who have yet to decide...'' ---Ladies, gentlemen, esteemed tropers of the tropes, may I present [[LadiesAndGerms a link to the main page]]. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LadyDrunk * [[{{Tropers/Gabriel Gloom}} My]] mother, and at least four of my aunts fit the "BottleFairy-but-older" version, and my sister is [[BottleFairy shaping up to be this]] too.

LadyOfWar * A character of mine narrowly subverts this in that she has no regard for lives and is very quick to kill anyone in the party's way. * [[ThisTroper This Troper's]] OC, [[{{The Ingenue}} Aki Chung Feng]], is an example of one. For (almost) every single appearance she makes, she either wears a {{Quipao}} or a {{Quipao}} blouse, uses a halbred axe to fight on the rare occasion when she must fight, and she is very beautiful. But, she's also a {{Broken Bird}} {{Bishoujo}} who watched her mother die in front of her eyes, was revealed to be an illegitamite child, and almost saw the love of her life almost die after she confessed her feelings to him. Fortunately, [[{{It Gets Better}} he gets better]]. * Girl in my class COMPLETELY embodies this {{trope}}. She is very... elegant i believe the word is, and i have seen her fight, damn it's sexy and terrifying and oddly fitting when she beats some guy/girl up especially when she's wearin a skirt. * One Christmas my Uncle gave me a card in which he wrote on the inside that I was a Warrior Princess. Of course it was during the time

period where my older brother and I ended up having frequent wrestling matches (i always won). * I once did a story Free Trader Captain's Wife in {{Traveller}} whose husband was besieged by a party of local rebels. She went into the office of the local garrison commander and received nothing but a "proposition" from a commander hoping to take advantage of her desperation. In a rage she turned and asked the sentry, "How much are you paid?" and then, "How long since you were paid". Then she said, "I can promise you three months in cash and five more in credit if you will come with me to rescue my husband." At that of course all the soldiers started getting interested. The ungentlemanly commander complained,"You're inciting mutiny". Whereupon she said,"I'm a merchant. Your government won't keep it's contract to it's servants. So now I'm 'forecloseing'. They're MY army now." * [[{{Tropers/Joerc45}} This troper]] was an acquaintance to a young woman who was a black belt in his Tae Kwon Do class, and was very [[{{Bleach}} Rukia-esque]] in appearance. On one occasion, I saw her wearing a [[PimpedOutDress beautiful dress]] at a party. Needless to say, she looked mind-blowing. :) * In college, ThisTroper met an awesome young woman who was a TallDarkAndBishoujo {{Badass}} fencer as part of an informal sparring group. Sadly ThisTroper was forced out of school shortly thereafter so there wasn't much chance to make friends or anything. Still, at least from a cursory view she appeared to fit this trope exactly. * ThisTroper plays one in a {{Pokemon}} RP. She's a [[{{Mon}} Gardevoir]] and a [[CareerKillers mercenary]]. ** ....Would this Gardie happen to be named Alice, perchance? *** I, too, wish to aquire this information. * My character in White Wolf's {{Hunter: The Vigil}} embodies this {{trope}}. With dual wielding arm blades and guns akimbo status. She appreciates high class and etiquette and didn't blink twice in murdering her groom on the altar...but he had it coming. I find it interesting exploring a fashionista with expensive taste and design with a ruthless cool and collected attitude when called to battle. * This Troper is writing a story set in {{Warhammer40000}} where the FiveManBand's commander (an [[ChurchMilitant Imperial Inquisitor]]) is pretty clearly this. Oddly enough, she actually ''is'' paired off with the main character, unlike most Ladies of War, although that grew from a LesYay RelationshipWritingFumble and has now evolved to be a PetTheDog seeing as she's also the resident ice queen. * This troper's Pathfinder Bard was close to being this, being a young lady from an aristocratic family with an AC of 45, a ways above that of the main tank fighter. However her habit of cannibalising previous paramores hinders such a classification. * [[@/{{Seiryu}} This troper's]] good friend is the local social butterfly, able to fit into any social gathering comfortably, [[TheFashionista has the perfect dress to go with any occasion,]] and is skilled in Tae Kwon Do and Akido. Mess with her or any of her {{Nakama}}, and she will beat you within an inch of your life.

LagCancel

* Just now, I faced the lag of doom while playing AQWorlds, which lasted over 10 minutes and nothing was happening on screen. The avatars didn't load properly and whatever actions during the lag took forever, but as soon as I moved to another screen, the lag caused the attack animation to load quicker. it was like doom. * Once, while playing ''GarrysMod'' for the first time on a newlybuilt computer, I discovered that it had not loaded up the sounds, models, or ''reload times'' for any of the CounterStrike weapons. This meant that I had silent guns that were displayed as giant red "ERROR" messages and that reloaded instantly. Oh, and reloading resets the delay between shots. This meant that holding down the reload key meant a signifigant increase in fire rate for automatic weapons, and semiautomatics would fire as quickly as I clicked. The Desert Eagle was.. fun. Unfortunately, this fixed itself.

LameComeback * [[@/RedWren This troper]] has found an insult that is effective ''only'' if followed directly by this. She has used it on the same person several times, and it goes something like this every time, not always with the parenthetical: -->'''Me:''' ''[deadpan]'' Hey, [name]. Your comebacks.\\ '''[Name]:''' ''[sputters]'' (...Are better than yours!\\ '''Me:''' No they're not.\\ '''[Name]:''' ''[gives up]'') * [[Tropers/MegTheMaggot I]] have lame comebacks down to an art form. I make ScottPilgrim look quick-witted. ** Woah, that's bad. * This troper usually just ends up saying "You...!" with no follow up. Well, except that one time where she attempted an ending and ended up with "... hunk..." intending to go on to calling the guy a hunk of something bad, like... well, she still doesn't know. In retrospect, she probably should have at least said "hunk ''of''..." before leaving it at an awkward pause. * I was once had a class with a guy whose last name was St. Aubin who burned another person in class. The other person's comeback was "At least my last name isn't St. Aubin!"... What. ----

LameRhymeDodge * This troper has a coworker who [[BerserkButton hates the word]] "fester." When I [[DidIJustSayThatOutLoud accidentally said it around him once]], he gave me a near DeathGlare and asked, "What did you say?" I replied, "Um...buster?" * Most people in our class do this when the teacher asks "what did you just say???" when she hears someone swearing (which is often) * This troper had an english teacher that was oblivious to... almost everything. Once, before a test, my friend said, "Oh, hell..." The teacher asked what she said. I replied, "She said, "I won't do well".

LanguageOfLove * [[Tropers/DesertDragon This troper]] had a one-night stand with a deaf guy in college. Since this troper doesn't know sign language (though he would have learned if the relationship turned serious) and his paramour couldn't read lips, let's just say Language of Love is very much TruthInTelevision. ** You slept with a deaf guy o.O * Sort of attempted by a friend of [[Tropers/DaNuke Da_Nuke]], who can't speak English but is working on learning the bare minimum English he needs to get laid in Canada. Which is actually very little: in a rehearsal, they found out all the phrases he needs to know are "Hi, how are you?", "What do you do?", "Are you Canadian?", "You like this music?", "You wanna dance?", "You want to go to my place?", and "I have a condom". ** I applaud your minimal effort. ---[[LanguageOfLove * ^* ^* ^* ^\\|0()||** |``~`~~`\\)(|||///** ---_** ]] ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LargeAndInCharge * My Friend Race(yes that's really his name) is 6'6 290 pounds, a master orator, and quite literally the "big man on campus". * Aversion: this troper is large, but not in charge of anyone...because the only person he needs to be in charge of is [[OneManArmy himself]]. * Aversion: nearly everyone in this tropers school knows him, yet he is about average height. Interestingly, there are some students who are about 7 foot tall in my year. Sometimes, I wonder whether they are eating plant grower or something similar... * My friend and I deliberately played with this in that in a comic we were making together. One of the main characters was a princess and she stood taller than absolutely anyone else in the story. Until she was in a neighboring kingdom and the Prince of said kingdom was revealed as being taller than she was in their [[LoveBubbles love bubbles]] decorated introduction panel. ---Go back to LargeAndInCharge? You got it, boss! Please don't hurt me. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LargeHam ---* ThisTroper had a history teacher who was extremely fond of mock trials and simulations. Two weeks into the class, I had to defend the Catholic Church during the Reformation. The result included me pretending to punch out one of my teammates in order to prove a point about divine forgiveness. Things only escalated from there. My final

"performance" was as [[AxCrazy Robespierre]] in the trial of Louis XVI. My presentation opened up with me dramatically unveiling a homemade, working, miniature guillotine and only escalated from there. The result: I aced the class. * Today, my teacher called me (Phil) out on being this trope... he was comparing the dramatic nature of me and someone else in the class-- he said "Joe is more of an emotional dramatic, while Phil is just a ham." * I was in class and I could not resist when my teacher said the word "beg." I went "Beg, '''ON YOUR KNEES!!!!'''" A few people actually laughed. * ''[[@/{{EPIC}} This Troper]] is the absolute epitome of this trope!'' I wear earphones often and loud is my natural volume of voice. Even his whispers are audible! Him being a CuteShotaroBoy with a voice that hasn't cracked yet, you could say that he's [[{{ptitle0oz11ebp3lfe}} Yotsuba's]] SpearCounterpart. ** His YaoiFangirl friend is also one: she's a lot like Yuki Nagato with more peppy. But ''[[MemeticMutation she can yell!]]'' * This troper and her sister are both incredibly large hams. Often we will get into spur of the moment ham fights, where we will spout inane quotes '''DRAMATICALLY''' at eachother, complete with poses and the occasional little jig. * ThisTroper has the honor and fortune of portraying the main character of the obscure comedy "The Foreigner," who begins rather meek but by the final scene is hamming it up so much it seems to distort reality. * This Troper is acting in a junior counselor at her church's summer bible camp. This year, the counselors and other volunteers are putting on skits based off the life of Saint Patrick. She gets to be the person who buys patrick from pirates, MIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLCHHHUUUUUUUUUUU, WHO IS DEEEEPLY OFFENDED AT THAT COMMENT, BUT HAS THE PEEEEEERRRFECT JOOOOB FOR YOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU. A SHEPARD, TO HIS FLLLLLLOCK. * ThisTroper has a literature professor. A very enthusiastic one who reserves the greater part of his enthusiasm for reading things aloud. So, when it's time for Main/TheEpicOfGilgamesh... ** [[GwenStacyWannabe This troper]]'s English teacher is also this way. What makes it even funnier is that he is a self-proclaimed [[ShrinkingViolet antisocial]]. ** If it has "Epic" in the title, this troper will bloody well MAKE IT EPIC. [[AC: Reed hut, reed hut!]] Reading Caesar's De Bello Gallico with a teacher obsessed with the Godfather movies was an... interesting experience... * This troper is a large ham. Just ask the his co-stars in the plays he's been in. * This troper will confess to being a LargeHam at times, along with her younger brother and sister. Said troper loves reading aloud, even when no one is around/is listening. She and her siblings also love randomly quoting various movies and/or TV shows and/or singing showtunes. * This troper's normally very quiet husband is actually quite a big ham...he's just sneaky about it. When he was drafted to play the ghost of Hamlet's father at the Renaissance faire one year -- a role for

which he was given all of five seconds to prepare -- he electrified all their friends in attendance by not only speaking more than four words at one time, but punctuating his speech with hand gestures, silly intonations, and goofy facial expressions. As one of their friends commented, "I think he's just spoken more at one time than in the entire three years I've known him." * This Troper's faction in ''The Matrix Online'' were in a player event where the objective was to defend an NPC, seems easy enough, until we realised that we were the ONLY faction on our side that had made it to the checkpoint in time, and that ''two'' full enemy factions were attacking. This Troper and his crew logged in about halfway into the event, our faction was pinned down but holding their own, we stealthily got on our factions teamspeak server, hearing everyone panicking, and set up our whole crew completely set up, buffed and armed. I Jumped down into the alley where the main fight was taking place, and to announce my presence I punted (A sneak attack that involves a groin kick from behind) the enemies leader and bellowed into the TS server "DID SOMEBODY ORDER A LARGE HAM!?" signalling the rest of the crew to jump down guns blaring. We managed to save the NPC in the end (just barely) and even managed to fully quote the 'big damn heroes' exchange during. ** MadeOfWin And [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome Awesome]]. * THis troper straddles between this and CloudCuckoolander at the drop of a hat, often at the same time! * This Troper acts like this when doing skits or making speeches in class. Its most effective when he doesn't feel like actually saying anything and just amusing people with over the top hand gestures. ** This troper did an essay on vandalism for a school project on criminal activity and read it in an over-the-top Chris Farley-like manner. * The headmaster in this tropers school seems incabable of speaking in a normal tone of voice. Instead he tends to loudly bellow whatever he has to say, even when he just says hello when you walk past him in the hallway. He's a really nice guy but peopel who don't know him tend to get freaked out when he appears behind them and says something. * This Troper saw a production of Crazy For You just over a year ago. The guy who played Bobby was a large ham but un the best possible way. His quirky acting, awesome Hungarian accent, and how he had such a calm facial expression while he tapdanced up a storm. Completely overthe-top and in the best possible way. * [[DaNuke Da_Nuke]]'s social studies teacher. When he's teaching class... EVERYTHING HE SAYS, HE SAYS IT LIKE THIS, PEOPLE! And when describing the true story of a national hero, ''HIS ENTIRE! CLASSROOM! WAS PAYING! ATTENTION!!!'' Needless to say, his large-hamness and constant ''Main/TheElderScrolls III: Morrowind'' [[Main/ShoutOut Shout Outs]] were so amusing, he quickly became the entire generation's favorite teacher and friend forever (just to let you know, he's currently dating the hottest, most popular girl from two generations below!). * The person This Troper is [[AllLoveIsUnrequited in love with from afar]] is a real life Large Ham, who has been known to do such things as randomly start speaking like Shaggy and Jack Sparrow, dance like

Michael Jackson even though no one is playing any music, do snarky gestures mocking the director's big inspirational speeches, talk on his glasses like a cell phone and walk in Matrix-style slo-mo. This Troper jokes that the way to make a hit comedy is to lock him in a room alone for three hours with a video camera. Oh, and his initials are [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotSymbolic JC]]. * This troper is a real ham in general. So much so that he got cast as Gaston in his company's production of ''Beauty And The Beast'', it also helps that his catchphrase is "I EAT SCENERY FOR BREAKFAST!". * The hammier the voice, the better this troper can imitate it. ** That is the precist reason why this troper here got cast as Gaston in his company production of ''Beauty And The Beast''. *** '''"NOBODY [[ChewingTheScenery CHEWS SCENERY]] LIKE GASTON!!!"''' * This troper's 11th Grade English classmate is a very large ham, and did a reading of Parris from the Crucible with a '''CAPTAIN GORDON, DEFENDER OF EARTH''' style of voice, and Foghorn leghorn's accent. Level-breaker? sure, but pretty damn hysterical. ** Seriously? I think that guy must be [[GwenStacyWannabe my]] classmate's long-lost twin brother. He's one of exactly three people in our class that is actually ''good'' at reading things aloud... * This troper's college choir director was ''very'' hammy when he conducted. Some days it was all she could do to keep a straight face. * This troper was not blessed with an indoor voice. ** Neither was this troper. Though, in his not-so-humble opinion, an indoor voice is not a "blessing". *** This troper doesn't even need one. He's so loud and bombtastic that he got the part of Gaston in his company's production of Beauty And The Beast- he can also do Gaston's voice quite well and acted in character throughout the entire day. ** This troper prefers to say she "projects well." * This best describes how this troper acted during a class production of ''The Importance of Being Earnest''. Justified, due to the nature of the play. If you had heard my laugh... * This troper is a {{Large Ham}}. I speak loudly, laugh maniacally because it's fun, and am generally a ham. I love it. ** This troper does the same too, but sometimes he does beatbox and make various sound effects. * ThisTroper is a LargeHam, but only when he is acting. At Pinecrest, it is now a running joke to shout '''"HE IS A FAKE!!"''' ** Pinecrest, New York? Is that you, [[spoiler:Casey or Robbie]]? * ThisTroper is such a LargeHam it's contagious, to the point that he can bellow '''Dramatic PAUSE!''' and everyone will immediately strike the most random, terribly dramatic pose they can think of and hold it. * This troper is also a large ham, and got cast as Stanley in a reading of ''A Streetcar Named Desire'' as a result. Too bad I can't do the correct accent, although nobody seemed to notice - they were all transfixed by my '''''incredible... HAMMINESS!!!''''' ** A similar thing happened when this troper here got cast as Gaston in his company's production of Beauty And The Beast, and to make it even better- he stayed in character throughout the entire day of rehearsal. Several Crowning Moments Of Awesome and Funny occured on and off stage. It also helped that he could do Gaston's voice

impersonation extremely well. --> ''Casting Director: You, you'll be playing the part of Gaston. How good are you at acting?'' --> ''Troper: (loudly) I'M GRRRRRREAT!''. --> ''Casting Director: You'll need to act as arrogant and boastful as possible. Can you do that?'' --> ''Troper: Sure. No problem!''. --> ''Casting Director: Very good. Now say that again, but say it in a way that Gaston would say it''. --> ''Troper (as Gaston): No one boasts like Gaston!''. --> ''Casting Director: Bravo..... That!Was!Fantastic!.'' *** ''This'' troper is amused by the number of people getting the part of Gaston on this page. *** You stole my words, brother. **** '''NOBODY STEALS WORDS LIKE GASTON!''' *** This troper has been noting that the phrasing is always along the lines of 'my company's production of Beauty and the Beast', and thinks it's just one person repeatedly mentioning it. * This troper plays DungeonsAndDragons with a real life HotBlooded LargeHam who enjoys striking epic poses in the middle of otherwise mundane conversations. Not surprisingly, he's a Gurren Lagann fan. * I have two ecamples. ** My High School Euro History teacher. To teach us about the French Revolution the man ''Set stuff on fire in the classroom.'' ** Myself, of course! It helps in my public speaking. However, to aid it I am going to take an acting class this upcoming term at my college. * This troper has been known to wax hammy on occasion while playing various video games, [[RolePlayingGames [=RPGs=]]] especially. The effect is somewhat ruined by the fact that ''no-one can hear him, the characters he's hamming at least of all''. * WVI: In my (seriously, people, quit it with the "This Troper" stuff) public speaking class, some of us wanted to ham up our speeches when we had to recite others'. However, in an unrelated case, when the whole class was just relaxing and gathering information from anywhere, the teacher got into a little argument with one of the speeches, where, some time in, he said in a rather loud voice, "[[AFewGoodMen I WANT THE TRUTH]]!". Naturally, this was the cue for practically the ''entire class'' to get up, fingers pointed, and yell back. The people next class over must've thought we were nuts. AND WE WERE! ''AH HA HA HA HA!'' * This troper is more of a NoIndoorVoice person than a true blue LargeHam, but all the same - people start looking at her funny if she's not actively trying to speak quietly. More traditionally, she doesn't think she's ever had more fun in her entire high school career than when she played the villain in her group's melodrama in third year drama. * Normally, [[{{Joysweeper}} This Troper]] is more painfully shy than anything. But there was a point when someone even more painfully shy and asocial that she kind of dislikes had stammered that she wanted to be roommates. Hopped up on a strange mix of distaste, anxiety, and inner optimism, this troper hammered on her door, told her "We have to

get to know each other!" and proceeded to forcefully lecture her on things like rules (Lights out by midnight! I get up early! No loud music!) and her personal preferences (Dragons are ''awesome''), complete with hand gestures and weird little aggressive head-jerks. She may have brought up Birds Are Dinosaurs, phyllogenically, and she may have said something derogative about fundamentalists. Would-beroomate looked terrified, in retrospect, and withdrew the request. Crisis averted, thanks to a SURPRISE ATTACK... of HAM! * Depending on her mood (she has a reputation to uphold) and who's watching (due to a painful amount of stage fright), DarkInsanity13 can be this at times. She acts her hammiest around her family (particularly her brother), often spouting dramatic [[ShoutOut Shout Outs]] and other things. Give her the right part (and maybe blindfold her), and this troper's drama level will be '''[[MemeticMutation OVER NINE THOOOOOUUUSAND!!!!]]''' Her brother is a ham when he can be one, often to get laughs out of people. Her father, on the other hand, is only a ham when it either scares people or freaks them out. * [[SeanTucker This troper]] is often rather soft-spoken. Key word: [[BewareTheNiceOnes often.]] I fucking shook my house by yelling out '''"[[LeeroyJenkins LEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOY JENKINS!!!!]]"''' over Xbox Live, and that isn't mentioning the time I was asked my name on the first day of Communications Application class... I started by saying "Hello..." and finished by shouting '''[[ThisIsSparta "MY NAME! IS! SEAN! TUCKER!!"]]''' at a volume that would give [[SuperRobotWars Sanger Zonvolt]] hearing loss. Teacher's response: [[CaptainObvious "...sweet Jesus that was loud."]] * {{Temascos}} enjoys being hammy when bored or acting with friends. Even opening the fridge to get a beer became a 15 minute dramatic exchange between my friend and I! Shakespeare is also great to do, Mercuio's death in Romeo and Juliet resulting in me dying in an ultradramatic pose... easily topping everyone else who spoke in a static voice. ** My best friend acts that way too, he's a ''Transformers'' addict and often starts singing the theme song at random and sometimes goes as far as imitating the characters. Also...he's known to do a terrifically hammy impersonation of Venom from ''Spiderman''. * [[JuiceBoxHero This troper]] is known to combine incredible hamminess with [[CloudCuckooLander her natural way of thinking]], with [un]predictable results such as jumping on chairs, [[BigNo big "Nos"]], ''demanding a dramatic fanfare of humming from onlookers'' (and ''getting it'' on more than one occasion, in the form of the theme tune that plays when you open a treasure chest in TheLegendOfZelda), berating her own reflection for refusing to open a locked glass door, and giving many hammy motivational speeches. Plenty of times when appropriate, she also injects a healthy dose of PatrioticFervor. * I had so much fun dramatically reading PeterChimera fan fiction. ** Same here! His book is full of awesome stuff its insane, including Einstein bellowing out ''MY THROAT!!'' before punching Thomas Edison through a wall. Oh, and SherlockHolmes battling a kraken and going home with the woman who hired him for some ''hot coffee''. * ThisTroper singlehandedly got the drama team' performance of ''The

Crucible'' to go from a bunch of mumbling kids to an actual performance through the sheer power of ham. While trying for the role of John Proctor, I fell to my knees and shouted "LEAVE ME MY NAAAAAAAME!" Needless to say, I got the role. * This Troper is in academic decathlon. In it, we students teach each other the subjects (history, economics, science, etc.) and its usually rather boring. This Troper made everyone pay attention by YELLING EVERYTHING when teaching. * I think [[SharmHedgehog I]] fit the bill. -->'''Me''': Just saying blandly, "Did somebody order a pepperoni pizza?" is not funny. Breaking down someone's door, wearing a Stormtrooper outfit, thrusting the pizza box into the air and then shouting, "Did somebody order a ''pepperoni and cheese'' '''''PIZZA!!??'''''" Now THAT's funny! * This troper's seventh-grade teacher. He was actually an odd blend of this and HandsomeLech. You could hear him from way across the hall if you were just walking along. ** This troper's school fitness instructor Scott was an extreme example of this. He was exactly like Richard Simmons. And Monday, Wednesday and Fridays made the students take part in a ridiculous activity called Jump Jam where they had to dance like idiots to some extremely outdated music. He often showboated- in a most over-the-top manner. Then a group of the older students in the school put on a hammy showboating dance routine ''every breaktime'' by dancing to teen pop like Britney Spears, sometime it can be [[SoBadItsGood utterly ridiculous and poorly done but at the same time hillarious]] but other times such as when they play anything from High School Musical it becomes [[SoBadItsHorrible so irritating, idiotic and just plain bad that it's just so painful and unbearable to watch]] The funniest one is when they danced to "I Like Big Butts" by Sir Mix A Lot. They were like the dancing hippos in ''Fantasia''. * This troper once got the part of Scrooge in a seventh grade play. by going full force ham during the script reading. Awesome fun. Of course, the classmates were boring but still... * This troper once used mighty ham-energy to instruct her boyfriend on how to [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotAwesome APPLY STAGE MAKEUP ... STEP! BY! STEP!!]] * Nearly all of {{Nausicaa}}'s English professors are like this, especially a certain Shakespeare expert who shall remain nameless. He combines hearty portions of [[LargeHam ham]], [[HotBlooded hot blood]] and a few [[PrecisionFStrike Precision F Strikes]] often thrown in for good measure. And it is ''awesome''. He'll read passages from the play we're studying out in lectures, complete with dramatic gestures like standing up on a desk that he had ''specifically pulled to the front of the lecture theatre'' for that very purpose in our {{Hamlet}} lecture, pretending to have his eye gouged out in a KingLear lecture and generally hamming it up while reading Iago's EstablishingCharacterMoment. But that's not the best thing. He manages to do this at nine o' clock on a Friday morning. [[OnceAnEpisode Every. Friday. Morning]]. ** And she isn't immune to the power of '''HAM''' either. Especially when she decides to go into one of her riffs or [[{{U2}} Bono]]

impressions. * This troper's raiding guild in ''WorldOfWarcraft'' has maintained a pretty consistent roster of officers since Blackwing Lair days, and the officers are pretty laid-back or business-like... with the exception of the druid officer and head healer, who also happens to be a massive lore geek. The concept of a hammy healer sounds strange until you hear him shouting "MALYGOS! I will HEAL these people UNTIL THEY KILL YOU! And I WILL HELP!" on vent. * This troper had a German teacher who also organized the theater club (and was very good at it, bringing plays by {{Shakespeare}} and Goethe's ''Faust'' on stage). He was very funny, too. And a good athlete (shot put) too. And a good pianist. * Go to a place where ''{{Warhammer 40000}}'' is played, find a game where neither player is the SeriousBusiness type. Watch the ham fly. * This is my very favorite trope. Be it a grab for attention or the hilarity of glorifying the mundane, it's always lots of fun. ** [[FreeVerse This Troper]]: Watch closely as I deftly flip these eggs in a needlessly dramatic fashion... ''WATCH CLOSELY! AS IF YOUR '''LIVES''' DEPEND ON IT!'' For, indeed, if you are as inept as I suspect you are, you would surely '''starve''' were it not for ''these... Very...'' '''Eggs.''' * This troper wishes he'd have a time machine. He'd make English class fun again, since he was far too shy to do it the first time around. Plus he's gotten a bit hammier when he's having fun of late. * [[SapphireFlame this troper]] is normally rather soft-spoken and doesn't say much... [[NotSoAboveItAll unless he's around sufficiently silly people. ]]. Then, he MORPHS into an epic... HAM! Apparently, by the reactions of some of the people in my school, hearing someone who's normally TheQuietOne talk like that IS. IN. ITSELF. ''FUNNY''! ** Are you me? *** No, he's obviously me. * A natural quality, further exaggerated by knowledge of Latin and an ominous look. I also have a tendency to shout "Innocentia nihil probat!" whenever the occasion manifests itself. * This troper just read all of the above examples out loud dramatically. * This troper is usually [[ShrinkingViolet painfully shy]], but once she gets comfortable enough, especially around fellow oddballs, her inner LargeHam manifests. * This Tropette's [[LargeHam haminess]] really shines in her part in her class' production of The Wiz. As evidenced by the following exchange: --> Crew Guy: Hey, we found a green suit for you to wear. --> Me: YES! A GREEN SUIT!!! THAT'S THE LUCKIEST THING EVER!!!! --> Crew Guy: Uhh.... Go try it on, then. --> Me: * comes back wearing suit, freaks out* This IS JUST SO AWESOME!!!!! WOW!!!!! * This troper is a bit of a drama queen in real life, to the point where I overreact to things with loud exclamations of swear words. Usually at inappropriate times. Like wedding receptions. Weddings of family members, to be exact. To make things even better, I'm an actor, and am only rarely cast in a role that really requires hamminess.

Naturally, when I got to be the Narrator / Mysterious Man in ''IntoTheWoods'', I had the time of my life, doing things like dramatically echoing my own lines as the Mysterious Man ("You'd be lucky to trade her for a sack of '''''BEANS!''''' '''Beans!''' ''Beans!'' Beans...") and [[GivingSomeoneThePointerFinger Giving the Audience A Dramatic]] [[AceAttorney Phoenix Wright-esque]] [[GivingSomeoneThePointerFinger Pointer Finger]] as I bellowed '''"To be continued!"''' Ahhh, I wish I got those kinds of roles more often. * I knew this one Catholic kid in 11th grade English class. When asked to read out a play script, he does it with terrifying enthusiasm. He's freaky by my standards (and that's saying something as I'm freaky and I don't give out such labels freely). * [[NegativeZero This troper]] is basically a [[FakeBrit British]] [[BritishStuffiness person]], [[MemeticMutation In America!]] So to me ''everyone'' is a LargeHam. This is worse because I am in 11th grade right now and SurroundedByIdiots. * While not always a LARGE HAM, this troper honestly believes that some things are ''made'' to be overacted. He enjoys doing his EvilOverlord voice, occasionally sweeps a towel back over his shoulder like a cape, and...well, if you see a set of double doors where a geek is attempting to replicate the classic movie look of someone pushing them open, that's him. Oh yeah, and there's his Scottish BriefAccentImitation whenever he gets a dwarf card in {{Munchkin}}, which may not be technically hammy but is just too much fun not to mention. * One of [[{{PictureFrame}} this troper's]] high school drama mates was a LargeHam... he actually played many of the parts listed in production, most memorabley Jonathan Brewster. The guy was so hammy that whenever she hears [[SeventeenSeventySix "The Lees of Old Virginia"]] all she can hear is his voice. * [[RitiTroll I]] once took a Shakespeare class over summer for my school (Mostly for going to London and Oxford for 10 days, but also because I genuinely liked Shakespeare) that had three professors. When we read King Lear, the oldest of the three, who sometimes seems to be a crotchety old man, read one of Lear's lines, he let it all out and nearly hit me with a table. He apologized later. (I also have had two other classes with him, and he does get hammy in those two.) * This troper runs several role-playing games, where he and many of his players can be guaranteed to be large hams. Including: 1) The Paladin (who is also the stereotype), 2) Whatever 1 of his players is, the character will be a bizarre type, and often is a large ham. 3) The party successfully acquires a magic sword. A talking magic sword. A loud, obnoxious talking sword... you get the idea. ** Of course, this troper's Cthulhu game master takes the cake, with his various "Sean Connery" accent characters. * I have a relative who is a Large Ham. If attention is not being given to them at any given moment, they will collect it by any means. I love them and everything, but good lord they are loud. * This troper also has the potential for being a Large Ham, but mostly while at his job... as a cashier. Bringing coupons into my line will result in an epic declaration that you saved money when I'm done with them. I am now a favorite of many customers.

* This troper knew full well, before reading a passage in ''All Quiet on the Western Front'' to her class, that nobody would pay attention. So... of course she resorted to reading it in a very Large Ham voice. (And resisted the urge to have Paul Baumer yell, "DID SOMEBODY ORDER A LARGE HAM?" in the middle of a bombardment.) People listened fairly closely and she became associated with "a dramatic reading of ''All Quiet on the Western Front''" for the rest of the year. * {{Excel-2009}}. In high school I took a public speaking class. The teacher is the same one who runs the theater and stage productions. He has gray hair and is well-loved for his slight eccentricity and outgoing nature. It's been a few years since then and my sister is in his theater class now. She tells me he is growing a beard. If that's true, then he's only one ripped shirt, oiled chest and magical sword away from the greatest medieval hero in the history of the world. * [[{{sgrunt}} This troper]] learned he was a LargeHam in high school. Apart from his dramatic stage antics which brought this out, the most memorable instances involved a daily card game with his then circle of friends in which he went as over the top as possible: ->'''This troper:''' ''(upon moving up a place in the rankings from last to second last)'' My [[XanatosRoulette ridiculously complicated plot to win the game]] is '''[[BoldInflation ONE QUARTER]] ''[[BoldInflation COMPLETE]]!'' [[EvilLaugh MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!]]''' * [[HilarityEnsues Hilarity usually ensued]]. ** This troper further recalls a Crowning Moment of LargeHam from one of the last productions put on during his time in high school: ->'''This troper:''' ''(storms onto stage)'' Now '''JUST''' a minute, everybody! ''' ''WHO'S GOT MY SHOES!?''' ''' ->'''Actress:''' Shoes!? '''SHOES!?''' ->'''This troper:''' Now, come across! ''' ''SOMEBODY'' ''' in here's got them, ''' ''AND I MEAN TO KNOW WHO!'' ''' ** The very first time this troper spoke the first line in character, [[HilarityEnsues it was too much for the rest of the cast to take]]. It eventually reached the point where the sheer level of ham elevated every time we ran the scene. Of course, this was topped later by the even more over-the-top monologue delivered by another actress later in the play, but that's way too long for this troper to remember. * This troper remembers a classmate from middle school. He was one of the smallest boys in class but he got pretty hammy, ESPECIALLY when he talked about his story "Bob The Magic Caterpillar". * In eighth grade, this troper was in musical/infomercial called "We Haz Jazz!" It's about this kid who just loves jazz and all of his Jazzer Friends such as Louis Armstrong, Ma Rainey, Ella Fitzgerald, and THELONIOUS! MONK! His friends learn about the roots of jazz from the Jazzers, and the entire company is waiting for THE THELONIOUS MONK! to make his appearance, so this jazz jam can really get started. In eighth grade, I was a tall, busty, athletic, blonde, blue-eyed girl. Let's just say I felt extremely awkward playing a tall, lean, cool, black guy. But as soon as I realized I could use my Rev. Jeremiah Wright voice, I was set. I was only in the last scene, and boy, did I ham it up. I pimp-walked to the center of the stage, and I delivered my monologue about the future of jazz with great style and aplomb. And even though you could see my pale, white face, people said

I sounded exactly like a black man crossed with William Shatner. Win! * I am a Large Ham indeed. My typical "opening line" when I see someone is either I HAAAAAAAAVE ARRIVED!" or "I AM HERE TO GRACE YOU WITH MY WONDROUS PRESENCE!" and so on. My friend has described me as a combination of this and CrazyAwesome, the second one literally worded. * This troper's father always puts a lot of emphasis on words that he thinks are important. He also tends to say words with an accent if he thinks that it'll make him sound funnier, and obsessively makes [[IncrediblyLamePun Incredibly Lame Puns]] and [[ShoutOut Shout Outs]]. I find him rather annoying. * This troper. The twist is that she uses it to disguise how [[SelfDeprecation melodramatic]] she is. Whenever she feels like she's overreacting she starts flailing and screaming things like "KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!" or "WHY DO YOU HATE AMERICA!?!?!?" to defuse the situation. * [[NotSoBadassLongcoat This troper]], from a lack of better battlecry, shouted "I SHALL PUNISH YOU WITH A [[BrianBlessed BLESSED]] [[LargeHam LARRRRRRGE HAAAAAAM]]!" while rolling dice for damage during a LegendOfTheFiveRings session. Cue a lot of rerolls, aptly called "exploding dice", ending in a one-hit-kill. Against a heavily armored zombie samurai. * This troper is amazed (but not at all surprised) how many stories above imply involvement in some sort of theatrical production or department. He left a bit of a reputation himself in his high school theatre department, where, over the course of four years, he played such ham-tastic roles as a hyperactive monkey in ''The Jungle Book'', a crotchety old Merlin, an incredibly sleazy villain in an obscure children's play, and, to top it all of, an incredibly flamboyant Magic Mirror in a production of Snow White. He also dressed in full pirate regalia every so often, just for the hell of it. * [[{{LordNadir}} This Troper]] was press ganged into a friend's production of [[{{Sophocles}} Antigone]] as the part of Tiresias. He was later described by said friend as more like {{TheLionKing}}'s [[CloudCuckooLander Rafiki]] than a blind prophet. * This troper commonly acts like a LargeHam to fool people into thinking he has one goal when he has another he does not want them to know about. I am a MagnificentBastard, and I am the same guy who said he set up a drugee on the Troper tales Chessmaster page. My most famous quote? "I will not break or move until I have what I desire...the power that I covet!" * This troper has had many a LargeHam moment in her life, but the most memorable was when I decided/was encouraged during a college English class to lisp the lines of Shakespeare's ''Richard III'', earning myself the nickname of "Gay Richard". * During a picnic for Kumon students, a water fight was planned. All the kids had decided that it was "Kids vs Supervisors". I had completely forgotten about the water fight...so I was given a water pistol. I chose to stand around and scream "[[Warhammer40000 FOR THE EMPIRE!]]" ala Commisar. * This troper is, by and large, a DeadpanSnarker. But put a controller in my hands and start up a round of SuperSmashBros or (even worse) MarioKart, and you'll be treated to a SlasherSmile, cries of

"[[Series/DoctorWho EXTERMINATE!]]", "WhyWontYouDie?", or "[[Warhammer40K blood for the Blood God, skulls for the Skull Throne!]]", {{Evil Laugh}}s mixed with the occasional [[GigglingVillain (genuinely creepy) giggle]], and [[CutHisHeartOutWithASpoon a variety of ridiculously bombastic threats]]. Then the game ends, and I return just as quickly to my normal self. * This troper, when attempting to act, alternates between this and [[BadBadActing acting a little bit too realistically]]. She has recently decided to spare the drama club from future auditions of hers.[[DramaticPause ..]].''until further notice''. * This troper's drama class was involved in a series of one-acts, and she got cast in the cheesiest play in the lot, as the ghost of a falsely-accused Salem witch. It was supposed to be very serious, but with lines like "Gallows Hill gave us fame; hate be the devil's name," she couldn't help but ham the heck out of it all. It was great fun. * [[DominusTemporis This troper]] got to play the role of Nick Bottom in A Midsummer Night's Dream earlier this year. Of course I was expected to be this, but I ended up hamming it all the way to [[SpotlightStealingSquad Spotlight Stealing Squad]] status (the other cast members weren't mad, thankfully). I got a huge ovation, and it was probably my favorite role that I've ever played. ** Whoa, are you me? *** I didn't know I could be in three places at once. * This troper is quite a hammy actor. I've been proudly overacting my entire life. Most recently I managed to turn my role as a tree in a house play into a cross between [[TheLegendOfZelda The Great Deku Tree]] and William Shatner, (even adding a ridiculously melodramatic death scene modelled off [[MetalGear Sniper Wolf's]], complete with music) and disrupting an entire cluster of classrooms with a reading of TwelfthNight during an English class. * Jesus Christ, I stumbled across the page that describes me perfectly! Fond of throwing quips and making up ''epic'', sometimes intentionally melodramatic quotes to liven a day? That's me! Encouraging my friends with shamelessly cheesy, yet fun exclamations? That's my style! Described by a friend as resembling Kamina from TTGL in personality? No doubt about it. '''With sharpened mind, heightened teamspirit, hardened conviction... and friends standing by you, unshaken by the monstrous tidal waves of life... We'll conquer our way beyond the red horizon, pale green oblivion, dark blue oceans, silver star sky and the blackest abyss... to our deepest dreams!''' I challenge anyone to make up a quote of his own. Start a Ham-Fest, if you will. * When this troper plays Yu-Gi-Oh with his brother, we frequently say things like "After I summon my most powerful monster and reduce your Life Points to Zero, you WILL BE TRAPPED IN THE SHADOW REALM ''FOREVER''!!!! ** Following the recent changes to terminology in MTG (Such as 'in play' or 'battlefield' and the addition of traps) this troper is incapable of playing MTG without sounding like someone from Yugioh. * This troper's History teacher will RAISE HIS VOICE TO UNDERLINE '''IMPORTANT WORDS''' and frequently breaks out in song.

* This troper's history/science teacher was this at times, often resorting to hyperbole and arm waving to get a point across. This troper also firmly believes that this is the best possible way to teach science. Especially astronomy. * My 11th grade health teacher (a class which dealt primarily with sex ed) was often overly dramatic. For example, on the very first day of class, he told us that he didn't want us to be embarrassed. He told us to "GET UP THERE AND YELL PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" Give or take a few vowels. * [[Zetta This troper]] has been known to become overly dramatic in front of old people, for no other reason then to give them heart attacks/cause them to think she is acting. And also because it's fun. * This troper's Social Studies teacher is so hammy, she could become a pro wrestler. She shouts a lot, makes overdramatic gestures, and occasionally bursts into song * ThisTroper worked in university theater and knew a group of actors who referred to themselves as the 'Too Big Club' because they were always turned down after camera auditions for being 'Too Big' for the camera. They wanted to be professional, yet seemed to take pride in this. One of our voice training professors diplomatically announced to the class that children's shows were a good gig, too. And it's true; just turn on Nickelodeon and see. * [[LeighSabio This Troper]]'s synagogue's cantor, Cantor Goldstein, has a tendency to drown out the bar mitzvahs as they lead the prayers, and acts larger than life both working and mingling with the congregation. So much so, that this troper has nicknamed him "[[WilliamShatner Shatner]] Goldstein" * I always went into LargeHam mode when reading aloud in HighSchool English, just to counteract the [[SoBadItsHorrible dull inexpressive monotone]] adopted by far too many of my classmates. * This troper's 8th grade U.S. History teacher was a definite LargeHam. -->"Now it's time for you to go to '''THE PODIUM OF LIFE!'''" * An acquaintance of mine is such a LargeHam. Especially when he does public speeches. * camera pans to him being a LargeHam, quoting someone in a really bad Scottish accent and gesticulating wildly* * In This Troper's gym class, there is one student who embodies this trope. Examples: he breakdances during warmups, when playing baseball he does backflips from 3rd base to home plate, when something is even ''moderately'' funny he would start running around the gym while laughing like a maniac, and while the class was studying health he would ask really absurd questions about the chapter (the reproductive system, mostly) that the teacher needs to take at least ten minutes to answer. [[{{Understatement}} He REALLY enjoys making a spectacle of himself]] ** Same Troper, here. My little brother is this, too. [[LampshadeHanging Lampshaded]] by both myself and my mother. * Do not play monopoly, do not play monopoly with this troper. He will not own hotels, he will own the bank. And he will abuse the fact that he owns the bank, he will give charity, bribes, and free money whichever players he likes. This troper may wear a white moustache, a

monicle, and a top hat. Every line will end with (in nature of this trope, a large ham style) "I own the bank", and you will not forget. [[RunningGag I own the bank!]] * [[TroperOnAStickV2 This troper]] will be in a drama class next semester. This trope is a major reason he's looking forward to it. * [[ABadDriver This troper]] does this repeatedly, often at random MOOOOOOOOOOOOOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENTS! I AM THE GODDAMN RULER OF THE UNIVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERSE. In fact, most of my teachers and fellow students break into this at random, especially my World History AP teacher. In fact...it might as well be a {{World Of Ham}}. ---> My World History AP Teacher: "Can somebody please describe to me what World War I allowed for?" ---> I raise my hand. ---> WHAP Teacher: "Yes?" ---> Me: "IT MADE THE WORLD SOOOOOOOOO MUCH RICHER AND ECONOMICALLY SOUND!! AND THE ROOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAARING TWENTIES BOOSTED THE ECONOMY AS PEOPLE BECAME RICHER AND RICHEEEEEEER!" ---> WHAP Teacher: "AND SAIIIIID BOOST EVENTUALLY LED TO THE GREEAAAAAAAAAAT DEPREEEEEEEESIONN!!" ---> Me: "[[FlavorFlav YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA BOOOOOOOOY!]]" ** The surprising part? [[NoIndoorVoice Nobody wondered what the noise was.]] * This troper's old Algebra 2 teacher was this amped [[UpToEleven up to 11.]] He would have crazy hand gestures, act like he was crying when taking away a number in an equation, and referenced pop culture at the same time. --> '''Teacher:''' * waving his hands around dramatically* I am practicing my Kamehameha! * If you want a HUGE, and I mean HUGE ham, check out my school play. The only hams were the King and Giant. Guess which two I played? [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NO6PoGFSksQ Approach me PEASANT!!!]]. But I must say, The Tall One, voice of Ivan and Dad, did a very hammy job with them both. YOU ARE TOO MUCH OF A FOOL TO SAIL ONE MY EPIC SHIPS! * This troper, in his freshman year of high school, was in a one-act play for his theater class. He was playing the villain, and delivered his lines such as "WELL, MY NO-GOOD NASTIES! LET'S GO PUT OUR PLOT INTO ACTION!!!" * [[IrksomeDude I]] would call myself one of these, as well as almost any character I run or create. Really. * [[{{Katana}} This troper]], several good friends of said troper, and said said troper's brother regularly engage in LargeHam LensmanArmsRace esque performances. While switching into complete Deadpan at a moments notice. This Troper is not very funny alone but works better with the group. When you can honestly answer a question with '''"THE''' ''SQUARE ROOT'' '''of''' '''''TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'''''" you qualify for LargeHam. * Our English class had to read a scene from Macbeth in modern English. My pair went close to last, and this troper could see everybody was awkward and embarrassed. This troper's pair went up, the other girl said her part... and then this troper [[LargeHam unleashed

the hog]] with a Mike Meyers-style Scottish accent. Best part of this? Later the class was reading through the whole of Act 5, and he was cast as Macduff. This troper practically deafened the class, proving myself [[NoIndoorVoice THE MOST CAPSLOCK MAN IN THE SCHOOL]]. * This troper is usually quiet during most of school, but get him near his friends, and expect to hear the large hamminess. For example, this is his usual answer to being asked what anime he likes: ---> Me: '''[[GGundam THIS HAND OF MINE GLOWS WITH AN AWESOME POWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER! ITS BURNING GRIP TELLS ME TO DEFEAT YOU! NOW TAKE THIS! MY LOVE, MY ANGER AND ALL OF MY SORROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW! SHINIIIIIIIING FINGEEEEEEEEEEER!]] [[OverlyLongGag GO! GO! GOOOOOOOO!]]''' ---> Friend: Huh. I prefer Evangellion myself. * I still have a loud and relatively unchanged speaking voice from when I was a child. Naturally, this meant I always played insane people in theatre. ANd made them more insane than theoretically possible. * This Troper averts this in real life where he is very shy,calm and quiet, but when he's on the internet this changes...a lot. He has two internet alter egos,one is a [[LargeHam HUMONGOUS HAM]] evil overlord and the other is a giant ham Leeroy Jenkis Paladin of incorruptible pure pureness with knight templar tendencies. Most people thing he's wierd because of that but he has great fun doing it and he can understand why large ham actors are said to be having fun with their roles. * This troper's mother is normally pretty calm, but when something makes her angry or upset, she could rival [[CodeGeass Lelouch]], [[FullMetalAlchemist Alex Louis Armstrong]], and [[GurrenLagann Kamina]] in dramatics. * This troper is normally really quiet (think mouse level), but he can sing VERY LOUDLY INDEED! He also has a habit of impersonating Large Ham's very accurately. Currently, I'm hamming up Lamar from Godspell (FOR MY FIRST TIME EVER) simply because it's fun (and it kinda makes sense for the show to have the loudest singer be the largest ham, in my opinion). Ironically, I was inspired by this wiki, as it revealed who was the large ham in Dawn of War (my favourite game) and I went for the chaplain's speaking style (HE HAS NO INDOOR VOICE, UNDERSTANDABLY). * In high school, everybody knew who I was, even though I was a nerd who never managed to get a date. I was known for my theatrics, culmainating in the conquest of a pep rally while wearing a neon green pimp jacket with zebra stripes. Yeah, I'm [[{{Understatement}} a bit of a]] [[LargeHam ham]]. It's almost like I'm two different people: alone at home, or in a small group, I'm just a regular geek, but the ''moment'' that I go out into public, or even better in front of a crowd, I EXPLODE, BURNING THROUGH MY LIMITED CAUTION UNTIL I BECOME AN ENORMOUS HAM! NO, EVEN THAT DOES NOT DESCRIBE ME! NOT MERELY ENORMOUS, BUT AN '''''[[PhysicalGod INCARNATE DEITY OF HAM!]]''''' * [[SoullessWarlock This Troper]] has been guilty of this in spades for years and being cast as Bottom in AMidsummerNightsDream did not make me tone myself down. * My [[WorldOfHam ENTIRE FAMILY]] is this trope, to the point that

each of us have [[NoIndoorVoice VARYING LEVELS]] of [[ChewingTheScenery SCENERY-CHEWING]]! * This troper used to take an acting class. One of our shows, an absolutely ridiculous rewrite of Frankenstein, was only good because so many actors were hamming up the bad script. However, we all agreed that the best part was the Monster, who lay motionless on a table for the entire play, only getting up and shambling around for a minute at the very end, with no real dialogue. And it was AMAZING! * {{Tropers/Infipus}} is known for being "slightly" over-dramatic when the whole ShrinkingViolet thing gets boring. In fact, just the other day when she was at a beach trip and accused of being overly hammy... She belted out the quote from the main LargeHam page and started marching through the knee-deep ocean water. She was then hit with a 6foot wave that came from nowhere, sweeping her sunglasses out into the unknown, never to be seen again. This Troper may take large steps, but the ocean takes LARGER ONES. * This Troper, although quiet, can be as vocally overreactive, loud and as hammy as possible when given the chance, mainly indulging in evil laughter. An example of this was doing one of the many monologues from Hamlet in a drama class. This trope is also true with a large number of her friends, most of whom are loud and hammy naturally. I love them for it. * This one guy in my English and religion classes... dear God. He had to give a report today. He hammed it up ridiculously, complete with walking around dramatically and hand gestures. The teacher stared. As someone who's been going to school with him for years, I can attest that he wasn't just putting on an act. He's all ham, all the time. ** In my English class last year, we had three hams. Class discussions generally evolved into an EPIC HAM WAR. * When he was in sixth grade, this troper auditioned for the part of Mercutio in a school production of {{Romeo and Juliet}}. He did his audition as a Large Ham, because to his sixth-grade brain, overdramatic inflection and {{No Indoor Voice}} were signs of a ''serious actor.'' Due to this bold decision, he was relegated to the ''non''speaking role of "Passerby #4." * This Troper (CCharmanderK) recently landed the role of Ebeneezer Scrooge in his high school's renditio of Charles Dickens' AChristmasCarol. He has decided that, during his tenure with the Christmas Ghosts and after his HeelFaceTurn, he'll give Scrooge an overly dramatic, emotional performance. I mean, this is the first time in God knows how long that Scrooge has ever felt any emotions, so the reactions are likely to be quite intense. * Tropers/[[Optimusjamie]] here. My hamminess borders on NoIndoorVoice at times. This will probably get VERY evident if I ever get round to playing [[Warhammer40000]]. * This troper love to yell, she tends to speak very loudly as well. It may have something to do with her bad hearing, though. * This troper is renowned for being a bit of a {{Shrinking Violet}}. However, in the right circumstances, she becomes a Large Ham of truly epic proportions. This gets even cooler when she decides to quote plays, poems and the like. She utilises this whenever making a [[IncomingHam dramatic entrance]] - on and off the stage.

* I have a reputation for my flair for the dramatic and such. BUT! It really shines on a stage. Be it the exercise to make a scene from Macbeth modernized (it became VERY Mafia-esque), or the five minute abridged Macbeth (HAM was an understatement, I even SUNG! for that bit!), my audition for the school musical (the angry hamminess got me my role), to the musical itself ("[[ByeByeBirdie While three harpies outside my window SHRIEKED! 'We love you Conrad' FOUR THOUSAND SEVEN HUNDRED AND NINETY TWO TIMES!!!!!]]"). And that's the short list everybody! * This Troper's English class is currently reading DeathOfASalesman, and I usually volunteer to read aloud, usually as Biff. I use multiple voices, sometimes switching mid-sentence or even mid-''word'': ArnoldSchwarzenegger, [[MetalGear Solid Snake]], [[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ptitle23580fpu Nobunaga]], [[ResidentEvil5 Albert Wesker]], and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking a completely calm voice]]. This is not the only class I do this in, and I'm mostly known for my Nobunaga voice, or "Viking voice," as someone referred to it as. * This Troper is the resident ham for his family and friends. I am often cracking jokes, laughing like a maniac, being [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotAwesome needlessly dramatic for mundane things]] changing my voice and volume and quoting memes and other large hams. * This Troper's friend is a large ham of epic proportions. She yells almost everything she says, and is a hoot in the school play. I will never imagine the word "pearls" the same way again. * This troper is only a large ham when not in public. Generally this means only at parties and such, and has been repeatedly told he needs to quieten down, only to be loud again the next second. This also lends a bit to being comedic. * [[@/{{NathanielTheSeeker}} I, the young man seeking interesting insights]], feel I am a rare calm, yet even more surprisingly, opportunistically selective version of this trope. There are lots of instances when I simply speak in my 'normal' tone of voice, state an opinion or tell a piece of insight I've learned and want to share with others without actually trying to draw attention to ''myself''. However, even then my voice frequently manages to sound like it comes from deep within and creates a slight echo. A few of my schoolmates have commented on how strong my voice sounds(about which I consequently feel very flattered). My philosophy teacher even once joked about how easy I am to be heard in the class now or how unintentionally scary I can sometimes be. When I really get going, however, I feel really alive and certain of myself and my habit of bettering myself in creating a compelling spectacle or sideshow is giving its own share. If there is any troper here, who'd like to have some hammy fun moments or develop their wit along with a sparring companion in a wit-sharpener duel, perhaps you'd like to send me a pm ;) or seek me out on Troper Updates. * While studying {{Medea}} in her sophomore English class, this troper managed to get the teacher and the majority of the students to be terrified of her for the better part of the year by reading the title

role aloud as hammily as possible, with lots of [[NoIndoorVoice HYSTERICAL SCREAMING]] and as good a RoaringRampageOfRevenge as she could do without leaving her seat. The fact that she's usually so much of a ShrinkingViolet that this reading was [[TheQuietOne the first time most of the class had ever heard her ''speak'']] probably helped, what with the shock value and all. * I do this all the time. I was sparring with my friend and I threw every hammy line I had in me at her. Some of these included, "YOU'RE A ''WOOOOOOORTHY'' OPPONENT! BUT DO YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO DEFEAT ME?" and, "I, [MYNAME] SHALL NOT BE DEFEATED! FIGHTING STRENGTH IS IN MY VEINS!" She was too busy laughing to fight. Guess who won? * If you put this troper in a good mood, He will do a wonderful impression of TheOldSpiceGuy, and talk with his hands in a GLORIOUS fashion. Spouting OneLiners like "This is where I get off." While jumping off of an Exit Ramp in Burnout. * [[Tropers/TheGDude I]] dabble in the arts of ham every now and then. * This Tropette is normally a polite, sensible, quiet and slightly amusing individual. But whenever she gets the opportunity, she becomes an outrageously LargeHam with wild facial expressions and gesticulation, alongside at least 3 different Ham voices resulting in NoIndoorVoice. Her boyfriend is also a Large Ham of proportions who is perfect for HamToHamCombat, through the power of his AudioErotica and GlassesPull, but sometimes cannot out-ham her and said to her once that she was the female version of a particularly famous British Ham aka BRIAN BLESSED! This pleased her =D * [[Tropers/BladeSatoshiX This Troper]] does not have an indoor voice, acts overly dramatic and makes everything hammy frequently. * [[{{Tropers/Myaku12}} This Troper]] is usually fairly averagevolumed,but when she got cast as the Queen of Hearts in [[AliceInWonderland Alice in Wonderland Jr.]], she was compelled to, neigh, was REQUIRED to be a [[ThisIsSPARTA OVER! The TOP!]] '''[[ThisIsSPARTA AS!]]''' '''''[[ThisIsSPARTA POSSIBLE!!]]''''' Some of her best lines: --> Troper: And JUST who do we have HERE, HMMMMMMMMM? --> Actress: Uh,I believe you mean ''whom'' do we have here. --> Troper: '''SILENCE!!''' WE speak the QUEENS English here, you [[ThisIsSPARTA NAMELESS!]] '''[[ThisIsSPARTA LITTLE!]]''' '''''[[ThisIsSPARTA WELP!]]''''' * [[{{Tropers/Myaku12}} This guy]] will frequently enter a conversation or greet his friends with a large, nice, "OH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!" * {{AnneBeeche}}: I am this trope ''a lot''. In addition to shouting and making large, theatrical gestures, I also grossly exaggerate my tales and even boast Anglo-Saxon style about outlandish, epic things I have never done. For example, when talking about my weekend, I will boast about my exploits in the snowy mountains wrestling polar bears and slaying dragons when what I am actually describing is my ski trip. ** Also, my English teacher (who spawned my all-consuming insatiable interest in Anglo-Saxons, by the way) is a serious Ham whenever he plays a part in the ''Hamlet'' we're reading in class. His death scene as Hamlet himself was both hilarious and epic. While reading Hamlet, since I also happen to be a Ham with a love for Shakespeare, I would

have a Ham contest with him to see who could read their parts more dramatically. The teacher also (ironically enough) demonstrated what over-dramatization looked like by standing theatrically facing his podium and loudly proclaiming, [[ThisIsSPARTA "THIS IS A ]]'''[[ThisIsSPARTA PODIUM!!!!"]]''' * ThisTroper auditioned for the role of Bottom in AMidSummerNightsDream and decided leaping onto a box on the stage would impress the director. It did and he got the parts. But, what was the best part about this was that every person who was either at the audtion or knew me would say "You're perfect for that part." It did sort of help that I have NoIndoorVoice and throw myself into roles. Scary that I'm not that different offstage. BUT WHY SHOULD THAT BOTHER ME?!!! * This troper (FulltimeD) played Mr. Toad in his 3rd grade class's production of a musical version of "Wind in the Willows." * both my sister and nephew have a history of being LARGE HAMS! i wouldn't know much about my sister being this way but i know my nephew will overreact at every chance he gets. my dad tells me he gets this from my sister... i wonder where she gets it from... * Several of [[Contributor/{{Meshakhad}} my]] teachers were like this. I believe that all science teachers should be Large Hams. * This Troper is on a quest to out-ham both WilliamShatner and '''[[BrianBlessed BRIAN BLESSED]]'''. Wish me luck! * This Veggie Troper, ironically, cannot stop hamming it up at every opportunity. My breakfast ham is signing Gilbert & Sullivan VERY LOUDLY in the shower, thus waking my housemates. Once in lectures, I'll look for any chance thrown my way to ham up an answer (even better, as my Inorganic Chemistry lecturer is quite hammy himself). When on teaching practice, I was told I need to project my voice more. Cue BRIAN BLESSED volume. My friends have come to love my ham, but woe betide those who are just getting to know me, and are exposed to my ham. ** In an update, it seems that the course's top brass _don't_ take kindly to hams. The told me to come back to teaching when I get some maturity. THOSE FILTHY ROTTEN B*STARDS!!!!! * This Troper (TappitydaNoggin) is prone to this due to: 1) His tendency to project his voice when excited, 2) The extraordinarily loud laugh he inherited from his mother, and 3) his love of ham. It does make me a very receptive audience member though. * The history teacher at this Troper's school has a habit of singing "Total Eclipse of the Heart" rather loudly and dramatically whenever he asks the class to turn around. He also uses a broadsword to gesture to the board. * [[@/{{Pastylover2}} This troper]] is basically a non evil, Daleks excluded [[Series/DoctorWho Davros]]. He argued with his ''math homework''. '''"CURSE YOU M-WORD!!!''', and '''"I'VE DEFEATED THE MATH NEMESIS!''' * The head of the Maths department at this troper's high school qualifies. An example: "If one of the brackets is equal to 0, then THE WHOLE EXPRESSION MUST EQUAL 0!" He tends to take large steps back and put his hands up when he does this. In one other instance, at the start of one year we were given a difficult question that threw us

into the deep end straight away, and said "That...*dramatic pause* is not a difficult enough question to be in the exam." * [[@/{{GoateeGuy}} This Troper]] does this from time to time...but usually only with my family and the closest of friends that would laugh at it rather than cringe in horror...XD * [[{{SkellSolo95}} this Troper]] is currently writing a how-to speech for class about how to be a Large Ham. Her classmates don't get the joke, but I'll be too busy showing off my SUPAH HAM SKILLZ to care. * This troper got the part of JuliusCaesar when the Literature class was reading the play. He managed to out-act everyone else in the room combined, and forever got the hammiest parts whenever the class is reading any plays, and tries his best to make the parts as hammy as possible. * This troper can't help himself being one. Especially when he says "I will EAT THIS SAMMICH FOR LUNCH!". * [[{{Tropers/Marr965}} This troper]] thends to do this in party situations. He claims that he gets drunk on social situations. He can also shout '''EXTREMELY LOUDLY!!!!!!!!!!!''', as anyone in his reenactment group can testify. Think "heard across fields" loudly. * [[@/BlakeDiamond This Troper]], who's mostly quiet and snarky, can occasionally get into moments of ''[[KamenRiderDouble eeeeeext]]'''''''[[FeedMe REEEEEEEEEME!!!]]''''' hammyness. One such moment of "turning on the Hammy" (as I like to call it) is when I was selected to read "The Passionate Shepherd to his Love" by SIR! Walter Raleigh, in fromt of my entire 12th grade English class. The amount of ham I displayed would've made BrianBlessed proud. (Or at the very least, impressed enough to SHOUT A COMPLIMENT! Okay, I'll stop.) I also have a tendency of doing this: --> Me: Isnt today your birthday? --> Random Friend: Yeah! --> Me: ''Welllllll theeeeen''... --> Random Friend: Yes? --> Me: '''''[[KamenRiderOOO HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! DEAR FRIEEEEEEEEEEND!!!]]''''' * [MasqueradeActors This troper]] (Dreamer) was cast as multiple parts in his church's annual {{Godspell}} tour. This troper was told by another performer that "[He] hammed the parts up so much [he] smelled like salted pork." The king's servant (a minor part with lines that are meant to be ad-libbed) was performed completely by gestures and was still extremely hammy. * ThisTroper's family is frequently acting over dramatic deliberately for laughs. --> Mother: Might it be behind the sink? --> Uncle: OH "MIGHT IT BE" FORSOOTH? ** Aaaaaand among others. --> Dad: ''SOMEONE'' FORGOT TO REFILL THE ''ICE TRAYS.'' * In seventh grade, this Troper's history group project involved creating a skit or series of skits about Colonial America. Everyone for the most part tried to make their skits at least somewhat informative, but first and foremost, everyone just wanted to make them funny. This resulted in some amazing LargeHam moments, such as when

this Troper's character randomly went off on a tangent in the middle of a conversation about the "great nation of America" - only to realize that all the other characters in the scene had stopped talking and were staring at her. * normally this troper doesn't let her geeky interests get involved with non-geeky situations. however, this troper was once dropping multiple bad jokes around her friend and her friend's niece and nephews (nothing dirty, just jokes that were purposely lame)... deciding to go with the flow, after having watched FullMetalAlchemist and knowing they've probably never seen a single episode of it I decided to go ahead and make fun of the fact telling lame jokes is pretty much my family's hat and struck a pose and dramatically said "THE ART OF TELLING LAME JOKES HAS BEEN PASSED DOWN THE JOHNSON FAMILY FOR GENERATIONS!!!!!" after their look of WTF I just said "if you watched FMA you'd at least be chuckling now..." * This Troper has Asperger'sSyndrome. As such, I'm loud, hyper, a geek to the core, and I LOVE quoting {{TengenToppaGurrenLagann}}. And singing. One way I take boredom out of work is to sing AT THE TOP OF MY FREAKING LUNGS. WE GOTTA POWAH DORAGONBOORU ZEEEEEEEETO! * This troper is usually fairly quiet, but does fit this trope at certain times, especially when reading out loud (my whole English class now knows me as 'the girl who does the voices'), acting or giving a speech. Most of the people who I know from theatre also fit to various extents. To top it all off, my school's theatre department just put on Urinetown, which when done right is basically this trope in musical form... we did it right. * Last year, in this troper's fall semester at community college, he had a sociology class. His teacher could be classified under this trope. Every time he would enter class, he would say, "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD..." pause for like two seconds, then continue, "MORNING, everyone! How are we this morning! Doing well? Yes? Fan(claps) tastic. Once again, it is a pleasure to see your BRIGHT, and SMILING faces in this institution of higher education." Word for word. And when class would end, he'd go, "With that much said, ladies and gentlemen, [[ThisIsSparta HAVE! A! WONDERFUL! TUESDAY!]]" (or weekend if it was Thursday.) And he would repeat definitions that he stated, for emphasis. He was a pretty talkative man. * While not normally a ham, this troper, when playing intense games of [[YuGiOhCardGame Yu-Gi-Oh!]], can sometimes reach ham levels that can put [[YuGiOh5Ds Jack Atlas]] to shame. Really. * When [[Tropers/AdelePotter This Tropette]] is in a hammy mood, she can outdo InvaderZim. * In high school, [[Tropers/{{Animenutcase}} this troper]]'s English teachers would often have us read plays in class, assigning roles to do so. This normally soft-spoken troper enjoyed herself immensely, expecially as [[CrosscastRole Creon]] in ''{{Antigone}}''. In my senior year, I did an ''actual'' theatre performance as the announcer for [[ParodyCommercial Motorwise Gasolines]] in ''ZombieProm''. An underclassman of mine saw the show and told me she was surprised by how powerful my voice was. ---LET US RETURN....''TO''...'''''[[LargeHam LARGE HAM]]!''''''

----

LarynxDissonance * In Real Life, the men in my old Renaissance Faire guild used to do this when, on the last day of the year's run, we would cross-dress for a few gigs. A female finally said "Guys, listen to me. Listen to ANY of the women here. We don't talk like Monty Python imitating women." Some of the better actors managed to pull off a reasonable version of female (slightly higher pitched and slightly breathy works better than falsetto), but many of the men couldn't HEAR how wrong their first attempts were, or didn't care! ----

LaserGuidedAmnesia Believe it or not, people fake this sometimes. * At a party in 2008, this troper, his girlfriend, and her best friend had all agreed to have a [[AThreesomeIsHot threesome]]. After some unfortunate circumstances that led to the prevention of this threesome (by the group Jerkass), the best friend was driven home because she was 'too drunk'. Cue the next morning, where the best friend claimed she had NO MEMORY of the night before, this proposition (hers, actually), or its acceptance. Now the best friend has gone to the other end of the country, leaving this troper in dire need of sexual conquest catharsis. * This troper's friend, upon having a bad break-up and getting every other member of Drama Club pissed at her for trying to slander him afterward, fell and lightly tapped her head on the ground to try and fake amnesia, claiming to have lost memory of everything from the first day of her freshman year. What made it a true [[WallBanger wallbanging]] moment was that many people without knowledge of amnesia, including at least one of her teachers, ''believed it''. Of course, when people began to suspect that it was a charade, she suddenly began regaining memories at a very fast rate. * So, how many people here have used the "I somehow forgot" defense, truthfully or not? Come on, raise your hands. ** Yes, dear god yes. I manage to forget things I read a few seconds ago. ** My memory makes folk who are senile look like elephants who never forget. I've been in class with you for a month? Nope, even though I talk to you every day, I don't know your name. ** [[{{LittleMai}} Me]] too. I usually DO forget things, but since everyone knows that my memory sucks, sometimes I use this as an excuse - anyways, most of the time I've REALLY forgotten. *** Are you [[LittleMai me]]? * In a subversion of Type 3 LGA, this troper watched a play in which one of the characters has antegrade amnesia and has a girl fall in love with him. Not surprisingly, said character forgets about her, while she never forgets about him. [[FridgeBrilliance Think hard about it]] and you have yourself a TearJerker.

* I have to say "Hey you!" so many times its not even funny. Names and directions just do not stick in my head. And having 60+ cousins does NOT help. -__* [[MalachiteDragon This Troper]] has this, he thinks...emphasis on thinks... He has really, really bad memory, and if he really doesn't want to memorize something...well, he doesn't, no matter how many times you make him read it. There's a reason he can't do more then add or subtract basic numbers in his head... And he's forgotten large chunks of his childhood because he was ashamed of himself at those ages... :( * This Troper has almost a photographic memory...for stuff she finds interesting. If not, well... ** You're not alone. I can remember subject-related stuff for college, as well as ten times more unrelated trivia facts and anecdotes. However, if you ask me what I was doing five minutes ago, or the name of someone I was just introduced to, it's unlikely I'll be able to remember! I once forgot ''my own name'' for a few seconds when sitting an exam (you have to write your name in on the front of the paper, they're not printed). Makes for another funny anecdote though! * This Troper's memory is random at best, I can pay attention for an entire hour then forget it all or remember some minuscule detail no one noticed. * ''Memento'' inspired me to plan on tattooing a codephrase onto the back of my hand in case I ended up with short-term memory disease. Wake up in the morning, look down, see tattoo, live life the best I can, repeat every time I forget. * This Troper can remember almost every single character from any TV show she's watched, yet she can't remember the names of the people in her class. ---''I remember the Trope's name now!'' It's LaserGuidedAmnesia. Click there to go back to it. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LaserGuidedKarma * When discussing an RP with my friends. We decided to include random events. Deciding to be the {{Deadpan Snarker}} I am I asked them: "So if at a random time at a random place where a random event were to occur would the effects be factored randomly or would they be set." Cue me and my friend arguing and saying random and its variations every three words or so. And then one of our other friends randomly comes into the room and slaps me in the face and runs out. Cue {{Awkward Silence}}. * This Troper has been hit by positive LaserGuidedKarma twice. First, as a pretty shy and awkward person she had trouble making friends, and after several months of trying and failing to socialize with others, she eventually decided to give up trying to make friends and accept

the fact she was a loner. That evening she went out to eat at her favorite diner by herself and ran into a group of people she knew, who promptly invited her to sit at their table. Needless to say, she had a great time, and it was a nice sign that [[YouAreNotAlone she was not as alone as she thought she was.]] The second time was at the end of a stressful day, when she was worried about her dreams of becoming a filmmaker and wrote a lengthy diatribe in her journal about how she just wanted some validation of her talent and to know she could be a good writer. [[BeyondTheImpossible Literally the second she finished writing that,]] she got an email congratulating her, saying her script had been accepted by a production class and would be turned into a short film. * This Troper knows a guy who has several KickTheDog moments and recently has become a massive punching bag, metaphorically. At one point said guy turned up to a friend's house when unwelcome and ate a lot of food, all the while ignoring requests to leave. So the victim told his friends in turn, and joined them [[CrowningMomentofAwesome when they did the exact same thing back to him]]. * This troper fell victim to negative laser guided karma today. After years of being a Karma Houdini on the rails and avoiding fares, I was caught without a ticket. Worst part was, for a change it wasn't my fault. But well deserved nonetheless.

LastGirlWins * Obivously, YourMileageMayVary, but this troper is continually reminded by his overbearing mother to be wary, because in her experience people tend to marry whomever they are dating when they are ready to marry someone. ** [[FridgeLogic As opposed to marrying someone you're not dating?]]

LastKiss * My wife, Jody. I said good-bye to her late one night, September 1996. May she rest in peace. * This troper has an interesting (and [for me] heartbreaking) variation. I remember talking to the girl I like after church one day. In the alleyway, before we left for our respective vehicles, we hugged. It was quite trivial at the time. Little did I know that it would be the last time I'd hug her. Bonus points for the torrential downpour, characteristic of late spring. * This Troper (Innocently, since he was only five at the time.) Kissed a girl he knew. He switched schools and later heard that she died in a car crash. * This troper's then-boyfriend went to visit his parents for the weekend. When he came back, he told her that he'd met someone else and they'd decided to get together. After that relationship fell apart and they were on speaking terms again, he admitted that it was the look on her face and her screaming, "You ''kissed me goodbye,'' you fucking bastard!" that stayed with him later.

LastMinuteProject * Subverted by [[{{Tropers/HG131}} this troper]], who'd do projects at the last minute and get 100s.

LastNameBasis * At this troper's high school, this is how it generally is, sort of. Newbies and sort of dorky guys call people by their first names (people you knew on a first-name basis before high school excepted) and everyone else generally goes by last names. This causes this troper to be called "Burns" or "Burnsy" constantly. Some people's names are shortened, some are combined with their first initial or name (Kevin Gibbons becomes "K-Gibbs") and some are nicknamed by their first name (Ray becomes "Ray-Ray" and Andrew becomes "Jru"). * At work, you may expect LastNameBasis, but at this troper's high school, one of the class leaders was refered to by ''everyone'' by his last name. He pointed it out sheepishly when a roll call was done and he was still called "Sturkey" rather than his very normal name. This troper didn't like him, so to keep a distant tone with him, she had to use his ''first name''. ** Long story: Spanish man lives with four Poles. His name is Alphonse Jesus. As "alfons" is Polish for "pimp", he is simply called Jezus. *** Seriously? This troper likes the name Alphonse. :( ** [[ZanderSchubert My]] real life name is Alex Ray. In general, people call me Ray Ray, Little Ray, Little Ray Ray, Sunshine, Raynina (don't ask), and Alex, roughly in that order. (I could put my name under TwoFirstNames and GenderBlenderName as well, but that would be weird and pretentious.) ** More real life: In [[{{Nentuaby}} This Troper's]] freshman dorm, every male wound up being addressed this way in reaction to a horrifying overabundance of Daves and Gregs. ** This troper's given name is a short series of simple sounds that absolutely defeats most English speakers on the phone. LastNameBasis it is! *** [[ForbiddenFruit Let's hear it.]] (Er... see it.) ** This troper was once in a high school class of sixty-eight people. With that many people in one room first name duplication was inevitable, so last names became standard procedure, even when addressing the teachers. *** This troper knew so many Cameron's that he ended up referring to them all by surname. *** At this tropers school that problem was solved by replacing the Cs with the first letter of their last name (Wameron and Vameron). It helps that those two names are still pronounable. ** In college, this troper had two Erics in her group of friends. Everyone called them by their last names, just so they wouldn't get mixed up. But then there were problems, because one of the Erics had a last name that sounds like it could be a first name, so newcomers to the group would always assume that it was his first name. ** At this tropers high school nearly all the guys who he is not close friends with refer to him by his last name. This happens to no once else and it`s rather weird now that he thinks about it.

* Yet more TruthInTelevision: At this troper's high school, nobody above freshman year addresses their teachers as "Mr" or "Mrs/Ms" anymore, unless you are polite or have transferred in. Also, nobody remembers why or when it started, but eventually we fashioned nicknames out of a particular science teacher's surname, which turned "(Ms.) Stahl" into "Stahlly," "Agent Stahlly" or for whimsical people, "Stahlly Olly Oxen Free." * Yet more truth in television. A boy in this troper's school with the last name 'Nedrud' has had his first name entirely replaced in common conversation with variations on 'Ned' and 'Drood' rather than nicknames for his first name. * One of my friends likes referring to people by their surnames. Another of my friends is often referred to as 'Stacey', his surname, meaning that this doubles as a GenderBlenderName. * Even more TruthInTelevision: This troper was the only one who ever called her ex by his first name, Mike. Everyone else called him Held. Holds true with my parents too; everyone calls my father by his last name, except for my mother, who calls him Rob. * For about two years, [[GDImmortal this troper]] called a friend of his, whom he met through Air Cadets, by his last name, almost always, out of habit, since that's how I spoke him in uniform. Now it's the reverse, I use his first name even while in uniform. * In middle and high school, this troper had been addressed by his last name by everyone (even the teachers) simply because there were a lot of kids in the school with the same first name as him. * This troper knew a guy whom everyone addressed as his surname -'' even his father, mother, sister and brother.'' * [[DarkInsanity13 This troper]] has a couple friends in which it kind of varies from person to person whether they call them by their last name or not. This troper changes around, often calling them by the first name that pops up and seems to flow better at the time. Oddly enough, there are first names of some people she knows that sound like last names. Also, most of the male teachers (particularly the gym teachers) are referred to by just their last name, without the Mr. She, on the other hand, has never really had the trope happen to her, as her last name is too hard to pronounce on the first try...and it's typically only been used to mock pathetically. * This troper, for whatever reason, is forever being addressed by her last name. Which she doesn't mind so much, with two exceptions: people assuming [[GenderBlenderName it's her first name]], and the nonstop stream of jokes and smart remarks associated with her particular last name. (Hint: Anything that can go wrong, will - and no, my name isn't Sod or Finagle.) * This troper went to a British school where in many situations it was more common to go by the last name, or a nickname based on the last name (e.g. Benny from Someone Benson). About half his friends still go by those names now, years later. * This troper attends a college where teachers and students alike are on a last-name basis, which is a complete reversal of his high school. ** Even out of class, I still get called by my last name more often than the rest of my circle. Not sure why, * This troper's high school biology teacher had a habit of referring

to certain kids by their last names, even if he was on good terms with them. This troper was one of those kids. ** She also knows a boy who goes by his last name only. * Virtually every male in this troper's family ends up with the same shortening of their last name as a nickname. * This troper had a friend who called him by his last name, with his reasoning being that we both had the same first name. Which'd make sense, except he was the only person who ever called me it. I would have gathered from context that he meant me, not ''him''. * [[{{Bang}} This troper]] has a friend with the same first name, but after enough confusion, my friend kept his name, and I've since become Tobac. It was a very welcome change. * [[ThatWackyGerman This Troper]] is named Alex. In his class were 3 other guys named Alexander so every one of them (including me) was called by their last name. Ironically we had 2 guys named Niko where we didn't use LastNameBasis. ** [[{{Maniette}} I win]]. I know 5 Alex's (1 -ander, 1 -andria and 3 as is), but only one is referred to by first name. But justified, as his surname is ''Gay''. * This troper tends to assume that when interacting with a professional, like a doctor or lawyer, you call them by their last names. Her dentist apparently doesn't agree, and when he called her up after her wisdom tooth extraction to ask how she was, said, "It's Chris, how're things?". She was very confused since she didn't automatically connect the voice with the man she knew as Dr. Smith (and was a little doped up on painkillers too). * Subversiony type thing which is more like an aversion or just a random tangentially related anecdote: [[{{Cameoflage}} This troper]]'s last name is Bruce, which she dislikes because it's not terribly snappy-sounding, which (among other things) makes it ill-suited for this trope. And if she did go by Bruce, it'd a) be taken for an unusual choice of TomboyishName and b) invite oodles of Monty Python jokes, which would be funny at first but [[NeverHeardThatOneBefore become tiresome eventually]]. ** More on-topic: This troper is incapable of thinking of her teachers as anything other than Mr/Mrs/Ms Last Name, which makes it rather jarring and slightly awkward when one of her parents refers to the teacher by their first name in conversation with the troper. * Yeah, there are about ten people with my first name in my year. As a result, everybody calls me Fletcher. Or Fletch. Some people have admitted to mistaking it for my first name. ** This troper has had at least one person mistake his last name for his first. * [[{{Gerusz}} This troper's]] physics teacher addressed the luckier part of the class by their surname. (The unluckier ones got some degrading nicknames... Not if using surnames only wouldn't be degrading ''enough'' in Hungary: calling someone on his/her surname only is considered rude, worse than using Japanese names without any honorific. However, before TheGreatPoliticsMessUp it was usual in schools, but since then it's very rare) * This troper knows a guy with the last name "Allcock". It's inconceivable to want to call him by his first name.

** Reminds this troper of when his uncle told him a story about him working as a security guard and checking the ID of a man named "Holden Hiscock". *** While we're on this topic, my mum told me about a patient by name of Steel Cox. *** [[{{Aryn}} This Troper]] knows someone named Jack Sexton, and always used to call him by his full name, but not for the reason you might think. I was maybe 5 or 6 at the time, and did so to keep everyone from confusing him with the Jack that jumped over the candlestick. * This troper has a friend who went by Last Name Basis until recently, so more recent friends will call him by his first name and older friends by his surname. Strangely, it's yet to get confusing. Of course, this troper also calls everyone who shares his incredibly common first name by their last name. * In secondary school, ''everybody'' except a few of the teachers called [[QuantumToast this troper]] by his last name. * [[{{gadeel}} This troper]] has a friend who has the last name "Tuzon". He was referred to his last name (or a variation thereof) by ''everyone'', including his closer friends and some relatives. * Only one of the teachers at This Troper's high school (an absolutely foul math teacher) calls everyone by their last name, prefixed by a"Mr" or "Miss." This was dealable until he called my name in class and subsequently pronounced it wrong throughout '''the entire year.''' (In case you're wondering, my last name's Coughlin. (It's pronounced "Cog-lin", not "Cough-lin.")) * This troper began being called by his last name by everyone at some point and now he prefers it. His small group of friends have a longrunning fan-fiction-type mythos in which a version of him from an alternate universe is known solely by his/my first name. ** This troper knows when it happened (in high school) and has got so used to it that now, whenever someone who is not a relative or a elementary school classmate uses her first name, it's incredibly awkward. Teachers in college tend to do it, sadly. * [[{{PictureFrame}} This troper's]] high school band director called everyone by their last name, horribly mangaling all of them in the process. Of course, when he tried to call people by their first names it was ''worse''. ** The same troper had a specific high school friend (for lack of a better term) who she called by his last name. Their senior year, his [[AnnoyingYoungerSibling sister]] went to the same school and started responding to this troper calling out the last name (think alonmg the lines of Dave yelling "[[AlvinAndTheChipmunks Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalvin!]])" forcing her to address the friend by his first name. * This troper goes to a summer camp with a lot of girls named Sara. When we can't think of nicknames for all of them, last name basis is used but the letter S is tacked on to the front of the last name. This leads to some interesting sounding names. * This troper's Latin class was all first-name or CanisLatinicus Nickname basis -- except for Dickens. It wasn't weird at all until this troper started reading ''A Tale of Two Cities'' in class one day

-- and even then it was just funny. * There were ''four'' guys with the same first name in [[InsanityInside this troper's]] class in middle school. LastNameBasis was pretty much a necessity. After a while we all forgot what their first was. * [[{{Emiko}} This troper]]'s current circle of friends includes two Matts and two Stephanies. To distinguish them, we sometimes use [[FullNameBasis Full]] and sometimes LastNameBasis. The latter is useful when talking to one Matt or Stephanie about the other, and was particularly useful on the day we went to a ropes challenge course. The two Stephanies decided to do the two-person climbing challenge together, leaving the rest of us to call out encouragement and advice using their last names. * This troper's first name is pretty common, so he is often referred to by his last name and various nicknames based on it. Even his girlfriend has done this, which has backfired when trying to tell others to find him in a list alphabetized by ''first'' name, and when talking to his parents for the first time. * It's weird at my school. On one hand, every other student has the last name of Kim or Lee, so last name basis doesn't work too well...but there are a handful of kids who are known only by their (more distinctive) last names. Quite a few of them are jackasses, so for some reason it functions as a kind of ''insult''. But only if you're talking about another student; teachers are always referred to by their last names. Yeah, my school is weird. * This Troper is in the US Army. It kind of goes by default that everyone's on a last name basis with everyone else. * This Troper has been called his last name throughout grade school, because he resembles his older brother and had many of the same teachers. After calling him by the wrong name a couple of times, each of them eventually gave up and used his surname. This caught on and even managed to carry on to college. It has gotten to the point that friends call his house asking for his last name and when they introduce people to him they only use his last name. Cue strange looks. But eventually everybody just goes with it. * On the shop floor, everyone has only one name, their last. In the office, everyone has only the first name. Supervisors (who run the floor and are often in the office) and Engineers/Technicians (who are mostly in the office but often on the floor), get it from both ends. As a rule, a "Red Hat" (Engi/Tech) will call you by your first name, while a "White Hat" (Floor Operator) uses your last. * While this no longer applies at University, back in High school this troper had 3 other Jeffs in his class. So to almost everyone he was "Bain" or "Bainer". The only exception being when my full nickname was used, at which point I'd be "Jeff the Pirate" * This troper only ever referred to her (now ex-)boyfriend by his last name. There was a good reason for that, but in retrospect it does seem odd. * This troper used to go to a Jujitsu school rife with other Michaels and Mike variants. Naturally, last name basis ensued. This went on for so long that it took on EveryoneCallsHimBarkeep proportions causing the occasional newby to think Esposito was my first name.

* This Troper and everyone else called one guy in our class by his last name. The weird thing is his first name was fairly unique. Also called the twins in school by their last name. * ThisTroper was on a complete LastNameBasis with just about everyone in high school, partly because he played sports (and thus his first introduction to others was as the last name), and partly because his ''first'' name was the most popular boy's name for most of the 1900s. For the first few months of the school year, most of his friends didn't even ''know'' his first name. * When I joined my high school's swim team as a freshman, there were six other girls named "Rachel," all spelled the same. So my coach called me by my last name. Which is a first name for most people. A ''male'' first name. Four years later, I'm the only Rachel, we have all new coaches, and I'm still known by my last name. * Early in my Army service, I got thoroughly into the LastNameBasis mindset ... so much so that once when someone ''who outranked me'' addressed me by my first name, I rebuked him, ''denying that it was my name''. It's not that it's a weird or embarrassing name (it's one of the most common male names in my generation), I'd just come to think of my last name as the ''only'' correct form of address for anyone but family. * [[{{Pikachukid}} I am a Chris]], and I work around at least three other similarly named people (one of whom is female). Some have taken to calling me by my surname, some have not. We also have two Julies, three Amandas, three Melissas and most recently two Cheryls (one blind, one deaf). Bizarrely, if you're not a Chris, nobody will call you by your surname. ** Coming from an all girls school this doesn't happen much, though in my old school, the large amount of 'Thomas'-es as happens in England led to nicknames such as 'Bazza' (Thomas Baron) and 'Star Boy' (Tom Starr). Similarly, the male alternative to our school has the same thing. The closest we have in my school was 'Davidson' because of the large amount of Lucy-s, which is weird since 'Davidson' sounds immensely masculine. I perosnally am referred to by my internet alias more than my real name, which is in fact a made up name in itself. ** This troper went to a school that was firmly on a FirstNameBasis, even with the teachers. Unfortunately, there were about eight Davids, so we inevitably got referred to by our surnames. ** Similarly, this troper went to a school where all the students were on FirstNameBasis, except for in my group of friends, which consisted entirely of Jameses and Stevens. We used surnames. *** When I'm in my hometown I can't even use THAT for my friend group, since it consists of both the pair of me and my brother, and 2 friends (one of whom shares my brother's name). We've roughly settled on my brother being "little bain" and his name counterpart being "the asshole", because first names and last names each would have created confusion. ** It's not only teachers to students, or just acquaintances. This British troper referred to his best school friends by their surnames as well, even though there wasn't anyone else in the year by their first names. First names were saved for special moments of emphasis (oddly, rather like one might normally use a surname to get someone's

attention; it's just using an unfamiliar address that does it). ** This led to confusion when one of my friends, known almost universally by his surname- Hester- read MortalEngines. ** Two schools this editor attended this became a problem having two members of staff with the same surname, both schools were determined that [[strike:[[SubvertedTrope this trope would not be subverted]]]] [[FirstNameBasis protocal would not broken.]] The second school it was easy as the pair were Father & Son so the students call the Father: Elder Mr. Surname or Headmaster Surname, the Son: Young Mr. Surname. The first, you could tell they where clutching a straws when they came up with this idea, because the pair ''were not'' related the students had to call then Mr. Mathematics Surname and Mr. P.E. Surname - note P.E. weren't his initals they stood for Physical Education. ** Similarly, in this editor's high school two brothers were teachers-one was a substitute, the other a coach/PE teacher; we as a student body referred to them as "Hot Mr Ross" (he was) and "The Other Mr Ross". Still don't know their first names. *** In this troper's school, teachers with the same surname just get their first initial added to their surname: as in Ms. S. Walsh and Ms. B Walsh. Still keeps the surname important, but no one but this troper has wondered what would happen if two teachers shared the first initial and surname? ** In this troper's American high school, this was used for many male students (not all of whom had common first names), but not for female students. This was particularly noticeable when a female upperclassman's younger brother joined the school and was referred to by their last name while she was known by her first. * The military. While this troper was doing his service (in the German army) he tried hard not to address his roommates and closest friends on last name basis but he was powerless against the peer pressure. Everyone wearing a nametag with only their last name all the time didn't help either. ** Also the US military. ThisTroper took ''months'' to get back in the habit of remembering that people even ''had'' first names after leaving military service. The only exception was immediate family members. ** While in the military, it is entirely possible to be close friends with someone for years and never even ''know'', much less use, their first name. Your last name becomes your only name. If there's two of you in the same unit with the same surname, then you go by last name, first initial... *** And if the first initial is the same, then you differentiate by full first names, if those the same, you go by middle initials or names, and if THOSE are the same, you go by last 4 digits of service number. In one of my units, we had a pair of soldiers who had the exact same names, birthdays, AND last 4. They went by "Good" Private Bishop and "Evil" Private Bishop... * This trope is absolutely necessary if multiple friends have the same first name. Trying to distinguish between 4 different Matthews gets old very quick. The hardest last name usually gets to keep the first name. * This troper's Boy Scout troop had about five boys all with the first

name of Nick, so those boys were usually referred to by only their last names. * At this troper's school, a popular English teacher is always refereed to as Dean, barely ever with his title of Dr. Reversely though, he refers to his physics teacher as Gleitz, whereas everyone else calls him Mr. Gelitz. Yes, people find it odd. * If this troper uses the last name to refer to someone, it usually means that she generally dislikes said person. * [[{{MiraShio}} This troper]] used to study with a guy whose last name was Pia. Trope was invoked as Pia is a legitimate female name. * Has anyone else been commonly refereed to as their last name, had someone call their house and had other family members pick up? HilarityEnsues * This troper met many people most commonly known by their surname, usually because said last name was unique (Borella, Veras, Lubambo...). It is useful when the OneSteveLimit is broken. * There's this guy I know who wants to be called my his middle name, Micheal, because his first name is Dante. Problem? There are now 3 Micheals in our class. We call Dante his last name now, one of the Micheals just Micheal, and the last one Mikey. * This Troper has one friend who only ever refers to him by his last name. He has been referred to by his first name by that friend maybe three times if memory serves. But that friend is the only person who does it, everyone else either calls him by his first name or first and last name. * I work with a guy who goes by his last name nearly everywhere he goes. One time we were joking around and he asked me some sarcastic question. I paused and said, "I don't know, Mike." His reply- "Did you just call me Mike?" * This troper's friends in middle school used this on everyone BUT him, since he has TwoFirstNames. * Averted by [[TheTallOne my]] friends and family. There is at least one girl also named Meghan in each of my classes, for simplicity's sake, I asked people to call me by my last name. It didn't take, I still get called by my first name, and the other girls with the same name have become Other Meghan. * This troper is referred to with her surname by one person. She, to put it lightly, is not on good terms with this person. * Most of this troper's friends refer to him by his last name. This is somewhat of an [[TheArtifact artifact]] from high school, where many guys were called by their last names. When the troper went to college, his friends from high school who went to the same college continued to call him by his last name, and it stuck with everyone else. It's gotten to the point where some people don't even know what the troper's first name is, and it sounds weird to be called by my first name by people who don't normally use it. * In high school, this troper had a few teachers address her by her last name because they couldn't be bothered to remember how to pronounce her first one - after correcting them a few times, they gave up. Teachers were generally referred to by their last names only in casual conversation with no honorific, or by nicknames. There were a few exceptions - a physics teacher called Doctor Raj was ''always''

Doctor Raj, which was in fact a short form of his first name. * In my small school, the students know most of the teachers well since they've seen them around for four years and have probably had their classes for a year or two. As a result, almost all of the students call teachers by their last names, or a nickname based on the last name. This is usually a sign of respect and esteem, but in a few rare cases it means quite the opposite. A few student's unusual last names become their main title. * This happened in my year at school as a result of there being four boys called Rhys. * Most of this troper's friends refer to him by his last name and always have, so by now he just introduces himself to new people as such. He actually prefers it, because a) it leaves a little distance between him and whoever he's being introduced to, and b) his first name is in Irish and he hates the sound of it. * This Troper and her best friend call each other by their last names, Groat and Koci respectively. We don't really have any idea when it started, but it might have been a result of our names looking similar enough to warrant confusion when handing back homework (in grade 5, we were constantly getting the other person's homework handed to us). * This troper went to Catholic high school, and as a result, more than 50% of guys were named Matt, Mike or John. This led to last name basis being standard for boys, but not girls. In an interesting twist, this (female) troper got referred to as her last name quite a bit, in part because her last name was cooler than her first, she hung out with mostly guys and was really into math and science. * This troper's keyboarding teacher insisted that we all went by our last names, as well as that we would only put our last names on our work. As luck would have it, more than a few of us had last names that also could be used as first names (Bonny, Glenn, Francis, etc.), causing the teacher to lecture us constantly about "putting down our first name instead of our last". * This troper's friend actually went through an interesting shift, he was first introduced by his first name, then went by his middle name, then people started calling him by his last name, and now his last name has been morphed into a separate nickname. * This troper's teammates began referring to him as Shifty, a nickname based on his last name, freshman year. Now, during his senior year, everyone on the team and anyone who knows him through his teammates call him Shifty more often than not. In fact, any time he needs to introduce himself and his teammates are around, he introduces himself as Shifty. * This was extremely common at this troper's middle school, to the point that the only people who weren't were people with ridiculously long last names. * This troper found it weird that in all the examples it was considered weird to call someone on last name basis if you had the same last name as them. My dad, all of his brothers and some cousins are known as "Hilly", and they quite often exclusively refer to each other as that. They rarely have any problem with it, but it confuses the hell out of me. * This troper is usually referred to by his last name. Justified

because there are a few other people with the same first name as him, and his last name is pretty cool. * This Troper was referred to by her printmaking professor by her last name, which just happens to be a fairly common boy's name. The reason is his wife's name was the same as mine and he felt weird calling anyone else that. * During the Upper Level of Comprehensive School (The Finnish equivalent of Middle/High School), everyone in This Troper's class was referred to by their last name. The only exception was he himself. This is because his last name is [[TheUnpronounceable literally unpronounceable]] due to the fact that it has four consonants in a row when Finnish grammar only allows 2 or 3... * In my all-male high school we had so many duplicate first names (including five Brians) that it was common for you to be only called by your surname. I got used to only being called Klapper and have been introducing myself to people as just Klapper to this day. I always find it funny when there are people who know me for years and suddenly realize they can't remember my first name. * [[{{Tropers/Ventisia}} At this Troper's school,]] certain kids are referred to like this. L. Woods becomes "Woodsy," J. Likala becomes "Lakka-lakka," M. Stacey (a guy) gets called "Stacey..." xD * I know three people called Adam, one I call by his surname, because we were at school together and that was mostly what everyone used, one is my cousin, who I call Adam, the third one is friends with my cousin, and I call him by his full name (Adam Hill). Everyone else calls my cousin "Brit" which is a short version of our surname. * Since there are quite a few people with the same first name in our department, I tend to go by my surname about 1/3 of the time. Then again, we also have a tendency to refer to people by their universityissued email addresses and by various other nicknames. * This tropers first boss called him by his last name (Schiffer) because "It reminds [him] of the model"...This Troper is Male so make of that what you will. ** And before you ask, no my first name is not [[{{Bleach}} Ulquiorra]], It's Daisuke...which, [[{{Irony}} Ironically enough]], is also the first name of Ulquiorra's [[DaisukeNamikawa voice actor]]. ---Returning to LastNameBasis, [[ReportSiht Siht]]? --<<|TroperTales|>>

LastSecondWordSwap * This troper when around people that object to profanities. Cue outburts of "Mother frying your hand" or "son of a bilateral!" * This troper's two-year old nephew did this once to his mom. He said that his uncle's hair smelled like poop and he got in trouble for saying poop. Then started saying over and over that (Uncle's name here)'s hair smells like po...soap. I swear he said that at least ten times in a row. Everyone at the table was cracking up but trying to hide it. * This editor is proud to say that in one instance in a university

cafeteria, while recounting the particularly stupid actions of another student, said student walked up behind me and sat at the same table in the middle of the conversation. Warned early enough to completely change the entire topic in the middle of a sentence and carry on, the subject of the interrupted story was confused when I received polite applause from the rest of the table at the conclusion of an apparent discussion of lobster fishing. * Also happened with a colleague of [[KatsuHagi this Troper's]] father, who earned a nickname referring to a feminine hygiene product (that rhymes with "sploosh-bag") due to the difficulty of working with him. While on the phone with an important person and asked about this colleague, my Dad just barely managed to say "Deputy Chancellor Douuu-''bok''" and avoid using the nickname. * This troper was working as a life guard at a pool with several very interested (five year old) girls watching him make chemical tests to the water. As he went to turn on the faucet that let tap water into the pool to dilute test sample, he accidentally pulled it up, causing a small geyser to erupt on the pool deck. He managed to pull a double whammy with "Hell.. en, Fu... dge pops. Hellen, get some fudge pops out of the fridge." ** Of course, earlier in his life, he received an F on a Latin quiz and began with "Ffff.... Flurgalschnag." Which caused the person behind me to bust up laughing. The teacher asked me the meaning, and I described it as any applicable phrase in the English language. * This troper and her friend were discussion her friend's new roommate as they walked back to his room. He was ranting hugely. As he stepped in the room, his roommate appeared to be missing, and he said, "I gotta tell you," he said, "I'm not a big fan!" Said roommate suddenly turned over in his bed, revealing himself to be very much present. Troper's friend quickly appended, "--of my life right now." * [[{{djkates}} This troper]] almost never curses, and therefore uses a lot of the classic swaps -- "shit" becomes "shiitake mushrooms", "fuck" becomes "fudge" or "freak"... "hell" usually gets left alone, though. * "I think that he is one..." *Troper's 4-year old sister enters to the room* "...lollipop-sucker because of doing what he did." * "I must say, if my freshman buddy opened that jar where I failed, I would be--*sound of jar opening*--very proud of him." * This troper's parents usually necessitate this. "God, if my mom asks me to take out the garbage again, I'm gonna freaking... take out that garbage!" * This troper was in the kitchen at her church's Vacation Bible School, talking with one of the kids, when the pastor slipped up behind the kid and grabbed her shoulders playfully. She yelped, "Oh my Go-" as she glanced back and saw who it was, and finished, "-osh!" * This troper was at work dealing with a customer of indeterminate gender. Early in the conversation--addressing an item not currently in stock--he addressed the customer as "sir," while simultaneously realizing the customer was a woman. He quickly switched to "Sir-ry. I'm sirry aboat that," and continued to speak in a horrible Canadian accent for the rest of the conversation to maintain cover. * [[{{bserkii}} This troper]] has on more than one occasioned let

loose a cry of "Blargansplork!". It doesn't replace anything specificaly, should anyone be curious. * This troper's high school physics teacher was known, and parodied, for this trope. Sugar, cookies, crumbs, boogers, and "dirty words" were reactions to such occasions as dropping a cup of coffee, dropping a stack of papers, forgetting to make copies of a test, discovering errors on a test, and the bell at the end of class. * During a soccer game, a girl on the opposite team missed an easy shot and began to curse loudly, then realized that the referee was standing well within earshot. This resulted in an outburst of "Mother...father!" * This troper's father and brother are constantly doing this deliberately to annoy the rest of us. And it usually succeeds. * I manage to be able to fix mistakes in speech without having most of the word come out and without having to pause. If it's a swear, I ussually just stop talking as soon as I realize. * Bit of a subversion: I usually start out a swear without bothering to finish it, and simply draw out the beginning. An example would be "Ffffffff..." or "Shhhhhhh...". ** [[MemeticMutation FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF]] * In a community theater performance of ''Arsenic and Old Lace'' that ThisTroper's parents were in had a great example of this. TheReveal at the end is that [[spoiler: the main character is adopted. He is so extatic that he's not actually related to these crazy murderers that he exclaims, "I'm a BASTARD!"]] Well, in this performance of it, the man playing said character was the only black guy in the entire cast. One night a bunch of kids from a youth church group he helped run showed up. He's standing onstage about to say the line and realizes that the language isn't exactly suitable for them. So, he on-the-spot changes it to, "I'm a BROTHER!" HilarityEnsues for those that knew what it was ''supposed'' to be. * [[KingSonnDeeDoo This Troper]] and her family once had some friends over for dinner. At that time we had the table positioned so that there was a little path, you had to go by an old fireplace to get by. Okay when the people weren't sitting there, but otherwise you had to squeeze by. On this particular occasion, said friends were sitting in that spot, and this troper was trying to get by. The as the male friend 'hopped' his chair forward, it came back down on the troper's foot, causing her to scream at the top of her lungs: "Son of a BI....KITTEN!". The friends later said that they had never heard her scream like that, before or since. ** More recently, she almost said 'Whores', but it quickly got changed to "Whor-ding ladies! Yes, those hording ladies!". * [[MalachiteDragon This Troper]] never censors himself. However, he is very careful to avoid cursing whenever possible when visiting his grandmother if for no other reason then a sign of respect. Once he'd let out a ClusterFBomb (He'd slept in too late and missed an event) and had a small, 10-second HeroicBSOD before realizing that no one had been in earshot at the time of the F-bombing. He was much more careful to restrain himself after that and ever since. * An example from when I was a kid, at camp; the people there included kids in my karate class and their parents. The night before we left we

had a Red Faces competition (or, if you're American, a Gong Show competition -- it's pretty much the same thing). Anyway, one of the parents sang this awful song that went on and on for ages; I can't remember much of it except that the first and third lines of the fourline chorus were "Glorious! Glorious!" Anyway, he finally got gonged, and the "nasty judge" started singing his own version of the chorus: --> Glorious! Glorious!\\ There once was a man who was down on his luck.\\ Glorious! Glorious!\\ He tried to sing a song, but we didn't give a -- stuff! (''gives him a zero'') * [[PentiumMMX2 This troper]] made use of this during a game of MarioParty with his parents, In a 3-on-1 mini-game, the joke CPU character (Which we usually have to fill in when my sister can't join us) made a huge mistake on a mini-game; allowing us to win easier. In celebration, I said "Hooray for dum-''mie''!" (I almost said "Dumbass", for those who where wondering) * Shut the f[[spoiler:ront door!]] * This troper has a tendency of coving bad words with Shout outs. Folr example, One time I was about to shout 'Oh my God' I changed it to 'Mata Nui' as in the bioncle great sprit. * This troper was on a field trip with her friend's very religious mother as a chaperon. The friend then fell out of a chair, causing this troper to say, exasperated and head-shakingly, "Oh my God..." *sees mother* "...zilla." * This troper once did this purely for fun, because only my friend Jonathan was present at the time, we meet to play ''{{Repton}}'' together and he knows how frustrating it gets, and he really would not care if I accidentally let out a swear word. However, just [[InvokedTrope for the comedy value]] I held the sound "sh..." for a [[OverlyLongGag REALLY long time]] before finishing "...uddering swordfish". It's become a kind of in-joke between us now. * This troper is careful not to swear in the earshot of children, but on one occasion he was leading a group of school children to the college theater for a production of Narnia, and stubbed his toe on the door-stopper. ----> '''Troper''' ''Oh ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffiddlesticks.'' * During an afterschool practice for Spanish Team, this troper's teacher stubbed a toe. ---->'''Spanish Teacher''' ''Oh sh...ugar.'' * [[Tropers/RedWren This troper]] likes to do it with ones where you wouldn't quite use it. For instance, "What in the H"--shocked looks-"oover Dam." * This Troper's sister constantly uses "Sugar" and "Fudge" instead of...well, I'm sure you can guess what words. Similarly, my best friend says "Sheet" (usually while sitting next to a printer, so kinda a visual gag). This troper himself doesn't tend to self censor, leading to a kinda funny one in front of my (not keen on swearing) mother (she ignored the curse, luckily: probably didn't hear it): ---->'''Me''' ''Oh, shit. Oh, sorry! Oh, sugar.''

* "Shut up dip...stick!" Is a favorite of mine. It's also really useful because your adversary usually thinks it's funny. * In high school, [[{{Tropers/Davie}} this troper]] was sitting with some friends at lunch. Someone accidentally knocked over their soda, and yelled "SON OF A B-", saw the principal walking by, and finished, "-eeswax bear..." It was pretty amazing. * One of my friends: "Well, I'm sorry, but I don't give a--" *notices teacher* "ahhhh two rats tails!" Also, when I was younger I got in trouble for using the Lord's name in vain and all that, so a lot of times I would say "Oh my Godshhhh!" I told my mom it was a new word. * Overheard in Catholic high school: "Sh...ugar and spice and everything nice!" "You son of a b...(sees mother of target walk by)...eautiful woman!" "You bas...s fisherman!" ** Also a couple of Post-Last-Second Word Swaps- "Pop quiz! What did I just hear from the back of the room?" "Duck, I said. As in, duck, this test is going to be bad!" and also "Boy, [teacher] is really pissed off today! (notices other teacher looking at him) What? I just said... [teacher] has sure been...kissed a lot today. By her husband, I mean. Just has that glow, y'know?" * With this troper's mother: "Shitake mushrooms!" * This Tropers list includes ----> "God...Jam it!" ----> "I laughed so-fa king hard ----> "You Piece of Sh-oe! ----> "You Scared the S-tuff outta me!" ----> "Ah Sh-hhhhhhhhhhhoooooo ''(Impersonates Rocket)'' ---Back to [[Main/LastSecondWordSwap Last Second Wor...sted Wool Sweater]]. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LateArrivalSpoiler * MarvinArnold: FightClub: Some *******, ******* **iot on an unrelated IMDb discussion board ruined the ending and the whole point of the movie for me by writing about [[spoiler: ABeautifulMind]]: [[spoiler:"LOL the twist is the same as Fight Club duhhh".]] You can expect spoilers on the discussion board for the very same movie, but a spoiler for another movie hidden on an unrelated discussion board... that's EVIL! I have never felt the urge to watch Fight Club since then... * Tropers/TerminusEst13: ItWasHisSled? It was whose sled? I'm just gonna pause this watching of CitizenKane and look this over real qui-OH GOD '''DAMN IT''' * MollyWalker: My friend Lilly was doing example sentences in the preterit past tense in spanish class. One of them was [[spoiler:"Fred murio en libro siete."]] Our teacher read the sentence, threw his gradebook down and spun in either utter dismay or anger. Or both. "Lilly, I haven't read it yet!" Lilly's reply? "It's been out for six

months!" ** HarryPotter book 7 spoiler warning. * NeonGenesisEvangelion: If you didn't watch the anime yet and plan on not being spoilered, AVOID THE CHARACTER TROPES! They're much more spoilerrific than the actual article, the latter at least has a good share of Spoiler Tags, while the first one even leaves [[spoiler:a lot of character's deaths]] unspoilered... * Mistermister: I got to watch TengenToppaGurrenLagann for the first time on {{Hulu}} and it instantly became one of my favorite animes, with [[HotBlooded Kamina]] as my favorite character on the show. So naturally, I got ''[[{{Understatement}} really]]'' pissed off when I got spoiled by the fact that [[spoiler: he dies in episode eight]] just by reading the information about each episode on Hulu. ** Video game example: Despite having a lot of spoiler tags in the article, FinalFantasyTactics's character sheet itself is ''still'' full of unmarked spoilers about characters, which pretty much spoils most of the plot. * Optimusjamie here. At a book club, me and osme friends were choopsing books to read and one of them picked up a copy of [[The Medusa Project]]: The Set up and read a random sentence. This sentence was... [[spoiler:Ketty is Viper]]. * This troper watched ''CodeGeass'' after reading about it here. As such I knew almost everything that was going to happen. It didn't spoil the series any, though. * This troper once worked in a triple combo retailer (for the uninitiated: books, music, video). While in the process of reading the Presumed Innocent novel, I happened to see the movie soundtrack at work and picked it up. Big mistake. One of the last tracks is entitled [[spoiler:"Barbara's Confession"]]. Thanks a lot, JohnWilliams. * It's virtually impossible to talk {{Pokemon}} without spoiling the new Pokemon and the plot of the next game. This very wiki doesn't even bother spoilering it, but of course if someone is ''looking up tropes'' they probably don't care about it. Still, it's annoying to try and talk to friends that don't want to be spoiled, not to mention they had to leave the fandom pretty much for six months while it translates. ** The new Pokmon themselves are not spoilers IMO. Neither is the existence of the event legendaries, though [[spoiler: Darkrai being the main villain in PokemonMysteryDungeon 2]] does qualify. Outright plot twists (such as N [[spoiler: not really being Team Plasma's king]]) do get put in tags. As a side note, there seems to be a bit of discussion on how much time should pass before they are unmarked. * A friend of this troper was talking about how he disliked NoOrdinaryFamily because he couldn't understand why [[spoiler:Julie Benz left {{Dexter}}]] (he'd just started watching the series from the beginning). My roommmate and I, at the same time, casually replied that [[spoiler:she left Dexter because they killed Rita]]. He just stared at us, then got pissed. We thought that pretty much everyone had heard about that, since we don't watch the show and even we know about it. ** Worse, [[Tropers/FuriKuri this troper]] got it spoiled by Entertainment Weekly having an article with a headline like [[spoiler:

"Rita's Funeral in Dexter"]]. The first line of the article? "Spoiler alert!" Thanks. Thanks a whole lot. ** This troper had plans on doing a marathon for the first season of Dexter to compare it to the first book. She knew the one who dies in the end is different. Making an edit to add her own Taleand reading the above spoiler just spoiled it for her, thanks. * This Troper ended up spoling the ending of [[{{EdenofTheEast}} Eden of The East]] for himself one episode before the end by reading its '''[[{{Irony}} page on]] [[TVTropeswillruinyourlife TVTropes]].''' ----> [[spoiler: '''Troper''': Takizawa ''wasn't'' behind careless monday? Mr. Outside ''isn't'' dead and he's the supporter? Takizawa and Saki ''don't'' get together? FFFFFFFFFFFFFF-.]] * A tradition at this Troper's high school involves walking up to random freshman (who will read {{A Separate Peace}} later that year) and telling them that [[spoiler: Finny dies]]. * It isn't so much as a late arrival as this troper had FinalFantasyXIII in her hands since the day it came out (she just lacked a PS3 to plat it on for about 3 months after buying it), she just has yet to finish the game. So then XIII-2 is announced and she's curious to find out what it's about... turns out the announcement trailer assumes anyone watching already finished XIII within the previous year, so, naturally they set up the short trailer by using scenes from the ending CGI in it. Case in point: [[spoiler: the first thing you see in the trailer is Lightning de-crystallizing and Serah and Dajh appearing from the horizon to greet the former l'Cie with the crystallized-in-mid-fall Cocoon right behind them]]. So much for reading XIII's TV Tropes page without highlighting spoiler tags... ** And to keep going, I think any troper who was late to the FinalFantasy party can sympathize when this site, or friends who are avid fans of the game, spoil major plot-points of every game. The most jarring is the ItWasHisSled for FinalFantasyVII. Suffice to say, this troper feels that it severely dulled the impact of the death scene. * [[TVTropesWillRuinYourLife Thanks to TV Tropes,]] I knew even before I started watching ''AvatarTheLastAirbender'' that [[spoiler: Zuko fails to turn good in season two.]] * This troper learned the twist ending to ''TheSixthSense'' from, of all things, a ''church sermon'' (it was used as an example of how things don't always seem the way they are, or something). Approximately two hundred people were listening. Wow, thanks. * ''Literature/{{Twilight}} Warning''. I have a rare subversion story. Obviously, everyone knows that Edward is a vampire. However, I never read the black flaps of books that are recommended to me and I read the book in its very early days - back when Stephenie Meyer was still able to personally respond to the emails fans sent her. So I actually didn't know that he was a vampire until he said it (silly me was guessing superhero, or something). * I am a fan of ''AvatarTheLastAirbender''. While I knew about the show I didn't care to follow it or watch it or understand it at all. One day, I sat down with my sister and watched a new episode that was airing, and really finally got into it. Unfortunately, that episode was the GrandFinale. Spoilers galore.

----

LateToThePunchline [[foldercontrol]] [[folder:Advertising]] * The Kay Jewelers ad campaign, with the tagline, "Every kiss begins with Kay". Took me a long time to figure it out. Luckily, I was alone on the viewing on which I finally got it, unlike my poor sister, who about a month later figured it out when the whole family was together watching TV. ** This troper had never realized there was anything * to* get until just now. And now I get it. Wow. ** Ooooohhhhhhhh...I get it now. I was looking for something way more {{Squick}}y in there. ** This troper didn't get it until she was watching TV with her mother, who promptly chimed in "and every hug begins with H". ** I've always corrected the tv "No, EVERY kiss begins with E" * The current Gordon's Gin campaign, which is fronted by Gordon Ramsay. I walked past a billboard everyday for three weeks before I finally made the (obvious) connection between the chef and the product. ''Gordon's'' Gin... * The Wells Fargo slogan "Together We'll Go Far". ''We'll Go Far''. ''Well(s) Far Go''. It took me ridiculously long to work that out. ** ...wait, what? Oh. Oooooooh..... * I know this sounds crazy, but it took me 10 years, count 'em, 10 years to get the Trix yogurt commercials. Trix=Tricks are for kids. * Tropers/DesertDragon was about 8 or so when Herbal Essence started running ''those'' shampoo adds, and it a few years before he figured out just what was up with those women. [[/folder]] [[folder:Anime and Manga]] * Funnily enough for [[Tropers/{{Nausicaa}} this troper]], it's ''{{Pokemon}}''. No, not for the subject matter, or the characters, or even the FetishFuel. She had a true Moment when she watched a few episodes of the English dub again recently and understood what some of the titles were alluding to -- i.e. pop-culture references. Seriously, how could she have ''missed'' something as blatantly obvious as ''Good 'Quil Hunting''?! ** [[Tropers/MokieMorty This troper]] recently re-watched some of the old (really) old episodes out of nostalgia. Brock has a lot of... Interesting dialogue. ("She can violate my rights any time!") ** It took this troper FIVE YEARS to get what was so funny about the exchange "I didn't know there were any vikings still around." "They mostly live in Minnesota." from the first movie. ** This troper only just realized that fact that Ash had a thing for Gary's sister might explain Gary's dislike of Ash. ** Ohhh, [[{{Pokemon3}} SPELL of the Unown]]. Because...they're shaped like letters, and the little girl spells them out. *** Wow. Just wow. I never got that one. I guess I assumed there

wasn't a hidden message in the first place. * The ''SamuraiPizzaCats'' had in its opening theme song "As soon as someone finds the script we might begin the show". Initially [[Tropers/{{Peteman}} this troper]] thought it was just a throwaway line given the large amounts of fourth wall breaking... then he remembered ''the scripts to the original series were never sent over''. They made all the dialogue up. ** It took [[Tropers/EddieCurrent me]] a few years of the occasional repeats YTV used to air to get what, exactly, the dub was implying with Bad Bird and Jerry. And I really had no excuse no to catch "Ginzu Sword"... * In ''GhostHunt'', Mai's being psychic was NOT, in fact, a sudden occurrence as this troper originally thought. It was foreshadowed within the first few episodes, when she correctly guesses Naru's nickname. I can't believe it took me so long to get that. * The fact that the title ''OutlawStar'' refers to Gene's star tattoo coupled by how he's an outlaw. * Recently watching the ''FullMetalAlchemist'' dub over again for the first time in almost a year. In episode 12, a minor villain who has some fauxlosipher's stones appears to run out, and Ed and Al are surprised to find that he has more. He says, at this point: "Didn't think I had the stones?" Just now realized what he was punning. ** Two that just hit this troper- Envy is a green monster; also, the significance of a guy named ((Greed)) having a body that is made of diamond. * This one was probably unintentional on the part of the writers, but watching DigimonAdventure again when I was a senior in high school and could actually read Japanese and actually hearing Patamon say that "it was written in Digicode," made me start cracking up. Half because it was a funny thing to do, and half because I remembered vividly falling for it hook, line, and sinker around 7 or so years prior. * It wasn't until a rereading of chapter 140 of the ''KeroroGunsou'' manga that [[Tropers/{{Andyroid}} this troper]] noticed [[spoiler: Zoruru had been sitting in on Keroro's meeting from the start. That's right, Zoruru's presence is so slight even some ''readers'' [[FailedASpotCheck didn't notice he was there]].]] * DNAngel. '''D'''aisuke '''N'''iwa. I seriously just got that. I saw this anime what, six years ago? ** It tends to be the opposite for French readers, because "DNA" is "ADN" in French. So we've got an excuse for thinking the title is [[WordSaladTitle really lame]] until finding out how it goes in English, yay! * This Troper was in her school's Anime Club watching Ponyo. Lisa was having mood swings (this was the part where she was sending Morse Code messages to her husband) and someone (a girl, mind you) made a comment about how familiar this seemed. This cued This Troper to say "[[NoPeriodsPeriod You know what that calendar in the background's for, right?]]" Everyone burst into laughter, immediately understanding the joke. Another Anime Club member (a boy) thought about the joke and didn't understand it till a good 30 seconds after everyone else calmed down from their laughing fits. [[/folder]]

[[folder:BoardGames]] * It took this troper over ten years to figure out the joke behind "Mr. Boddy" from ''{{Clue}}''. He burst out laughing in the middle of class, and when asked what was so funny, just said, "It's funny because his name is 'Boddy' and he's dead." ** Doesn't work in the original version, sadly, since the deceased's name was Dr Black before the game crossed the Atlantic... [[/folder]] [[folder:ComicBooks]] * Pick an ''{{Asterix}}'' book, any ''Asterix'' book. Film parodies, political and social satire, sly tips-of-the-hat to rival cartoonists (especially Herg, creator of ''{{Tintin}}''), lampoons of French regional stereotypes... Goscinny and Uderzo packed the Asterix books with references to ensure that while the kids were enjoying the slapstick comedy and superpowered fights, the grownups could congratulate themselves on getting all the references. ** And the ''names''. Dear god, the names. If you haven't read Asterix since you were a kid, you will crack up just reading the cast list... * ThisTroper used to know every ''CalvinAndHobbes'' strip by heart, yet he can still go back, read one of the books, and suddenly get a joke that he used to be too young to understand. ** I was a very sheltered child and didn't figure out what all those [[SymbolSwearing funny symbols]] were supposed to be for an embarrassingly long time. * This 19 year old troper only just realized that Harley Quinn's name is a pun on "harlequin". * [[Tropers/DynamiteXI This troper]] used to read DisneyAdventures in the 1990s, and back right around 1993/94 they ran a comic called ''Nervous Rex'' by one William Van Horn. It wasn't until ''seventeen years later'' (in fact, less than twenty minutes ago on December 23, 2010, to you future readers) that I got the pun in the comic's title. Just kinda came to me out of the blue. * A few years back, this troper read a {{Spider-Man}} comic where he teamed up with DoctorStrange. The bad guys hit them with an attack that displaced them in time. Spider-Man ended up in the [[BatmanCanBreatheInSpace dark void before the beginning of the universe]]; Doctor Strange was sent in the other...Um, direction? Anyway, the Doctor establishes telepathic contact with Spidey, and describes his current time-space location as "cold, dark, and dismal. [[PlaceWorseThanDeath Rather like Newark]]." Spider-Man [[LampshadeHanging pointed out that Doctor Strange just told a joke]], and was told, "Yes. Unfortunately, that's considered a SignOfTheApocalypse." It took me a couple of weeks to realize that he was saying that the world was, in fact, about to end. - Classifed * Oh, okay, so the [[TheBeano Beano]] feature The Germs with Ill Will, it's "The germs with ill will". Only took about a decade. [[/folder]] [[folder:Film]] * ''WhoFramedRogerRabbit'' works on two levels: it mixes wacky cartoon

antics (for the kids and kids-at-heart) with a traditional film noir storyline (for the grownups, and the kids when they grow up). ** Not to mention the sheer amount of dirty jokes/visual puns that would fly right over a kid's head. "Booby Trap" and the "Jessica in Eddie's Office" scene comes to mind immediately. *** Or the references to Golden-Age cartoons and studios -- The Ink And Paint Club for example. ("Walt sent me.") *** And then there was the subverted ParentalBonus: the photos of Jessica Rabbit "playing patty-cake" with the victim. The photos depict... Jessica Rabbit literally playing patty-cake with the victim. *** The patty-cake scene also parodies a scene in ''Chinatown'' where a client is being shown pictures of his cheating wife. *** A guy rags on Eddie, saying that Eddie's name used to be Valiant but the guy thinks it's changed to Jack Daniels. This troper had watched the movie several times before stopping to wonder about that. Then, she remembered that Jack Daniels is an alcoholic beverage, and the guy was talking about Eddie's descent into alcoholism. * ''WillyWonkaAndTheChocolateFactory'' may suffer from AdaptationDecay, but a lot of its humor (particularly for a family film from 1971), such as the SeriousBusiness hunt for the Golden Tickets, is surprisingly sharp in a way that this troper didn't get until she was a preteen, and even more so as an adult. GeneWilder's performance in the lead could be seen as one giant LateToThePunchline moment once a kid has learned to understand both sarcasm and the various literary quotes he uses (just funny non-sequiturs to this troper as a tot). ** Not to mention this GettingCrapPastTheRadar quote from early in the movie: --->I am now telling this computer ''exactly'' what it can do with a lifetime's supply of chocolate! ** The password to the musical lock is the opening bit of the overture to ''TheMarriageOfFigaro''. Upon hearing it, Mrs. Teavee nods knowingly and says "Rachmaninoff". This joke took me ten years. ** This Troper was cast as Gwendolyn Fairfax in her high school's production of "The Importance of Being Earnest." Upon reading her script she realized that one of her lines, "The suspense is terrible! I hope it will last" was directly referenced in ''Willy Wonka.'' It was from then on known by cast and crew as "the Willy Wonka line." *** Made ''still'' funnier by the fact that OscarWilde looks rather like Gene Wilder. * [[Tropers/{{Lurkerbunny}} This troper]] just recently realized how freaking filthy RobinWilliams' dialog in ''MrsDoubtfire'' was. ** We are talking about Robin "[[GettingCrapPastTheRadar Get Shit Past The Radar]]" Williams. ** This troper remembers watching that movie years later with her mother and suddenly realizing that the two guys who help Robin's character make the costume were gay. She said this quite loudly and with an air of astonishment that put her mother in stitches. *** You think that's bad? My uncle was married to a woman who went by "Jack," as in, short for "Jacqueline." So when Williams says that "Uncle Frank and Aunt Jack" made the costume, my sister and I wondered why everybody was laughing. After all, we ''had'' an Aunt Jack. We

were kids, but still. It took a while to hit us. *** This troper understands. He has an Uncle Jessie (named after the famous outlaw) and Aunt Jack (like above Jacqueline). ** "Oh I'm sorry, am I being a little graphic? I'm sorry. Well, I hope you're up for a little competition. She's got a power tool in the bedroom, dear. It's her own personal jackhammer. She could break sidewalk with that thing. She uses it and the lights dim, it's like a prison movie. Amazed she hasn't chipped her teeth." I could go on forever, but that one is my favorite. *** ''It's like a prison movie''... I ''just'' got that part. I mean, I got the power tool joke a while back (as in, [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean I realize they're not actually discussing a traditional power tool]]), but the prison movie part. It's a reference to electric chairs. * [[Tropers/{{Clarabell}} This troper]] thought the mom in ''{{Pleasantville}}'' just ''really enjoyed the bath'' until he read a review/synopsis several years later ... ** I watched that with a high-school class and in the delicate discussion afterwards got to watch realization dawn on the face of the teacher (who wasn't a lot older than we were). * This troper first watched ''MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail'' when she was a sophomore in high school. When she watched it, she thought it was one of the stupidest things she'd ever seen. The next day she was cracking up in the middle of class over how hilarious the movie was. ** This troper's MontyPython-related LateToThePunchline moment came the first time she ''watched'' the movie, because her parents (especially her dad) spent her entire childhood saying things like "We want...a SHRUBBERY!" and she would go "Dad, you're weird." Now, of course, she's the one quoting Python at every opportunity. ** [[Tropers/{{Gizbit99}} This Troper]]'s parents had one of these upon said troper's first watching of the movie. They never understood why the ending was just solid black for a few minutes. They thought it was just them being weird. Cue this troper cracking up with laughter, as the black is because the credits people were fired during the opening of the movie. *** I had this exact same LateToThePunchline Moment just yesterday. ** And this troper just realized hat the ending with the police... was a "cop out." ** One [[Tropers/ManCalledTrue this troper's]] mother pointed out: "So we built a castle... and it sank into the swamp" and its repetitions. "But the fourth one - it stayed up!" It's not perseverence, it's because its foundation is the three that ''sank''. * It took this troper four viewings of the ''IronMan'' movie before he finally got the joke when Tony is boarding his plane and says "I got caught doing a piece for ''Vanity Fair''." I kept thinking it was the ''car.'' * It took this troper ''10 years'' and many re-watchings of ''{{Speed}}'' to get the "Oh yeah, well I'm ''taller''" taunt at the end. The fact that Keanu Reeves is actually taller than Dennis Hopper (even with his head) was confusing. * ''TheMuppetMovie'': [[Tropers/{{Revolos55}} This Troper]] loved this movie as a kid and watched it countless times. It wasn't until rewatching it almost 15 years later that the running gag of "Can you

help me? I've lost my way." / "Have you tried Hare Krishna?" made sense. ** [[Tropers/{{Twitch}} This Troper]] just had a LateToThePunchline Moment ''right now'', as Peter David slipped a reference to this into an issue early in his run on {{Comicbook/X-Factor}} -- Madrox is hunting a rogue duplicate in the Smithsonian, encounters Kermit The Frog and they exchange a similar bit of dialogue, although it's revealed that the Kermit puppet [[spoiler:is being operated by the rogue dupe, who took it from its display case and proceeds to punch his pursuer in the face with it.]] ** And while not being able to point out the specific LateToThePunchline moment, the fact that a fork in the road was an actual navigation term and not just something weird for the movie... ** Also the sheer number of cameos... Seriously, go look at [[http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0079588/ the cast list]] and try to figure out how many of them you would recognize at six years old. * This troper was fairly shocked when she finally discovered exactly how dirty most of ''{{Grease}}'' really is. Holy cow, how did I get away with singing this stuff as a kid? "Well she was good, you know what I mean"? "You know that I ain't braggin, she's a real..." well. You get the idea. ** I didn't get the whole sequence after Rizzo leaves the slumber party for years and years. "What's up Kenickie" "One guess"?! "Sloppy seconds ain't my style"?! "Where are you going, to flog your log?"?! ** This troper once heard that her high school's theater troupe wanted to do ''Grease'', but the admins were worried about some of the content... Namely, ''[[CompletelyMissingThePoint the cigarettes]]''. When I heard that, I rolled my eyes so hard I had a headache for the rest of the day. * Something that goes straight over most viewer's heads, from ''BlazingSaddles'': Cleavon Little, a black man, plays a character named Bart. In other words, he's Black Bart. ** "Black Bart" was considered as a possible title for the movie. I think it got rejected because nobody got the joke. *** They eventually used the title for a failed TV {{pilot}}. ** [[{{Tropers/Mischlings}} I]] realized just today that Lili von Schtupp (aside from "Schtupp" being Yiddish slang for "fuck") was based off of Marlene Dietrich, a famous German actress from the 1930s. The song she performs in the saloon scene seems to be based off of "Falling in Love" from TheBlueAngel. I nearly burst out laughing in my history class when I saw that scene and realized where Mel Brooks got it from. * This troper finally had her LateToThePunchline moment regarding Bill Murray's character in ''{{Little Shop of Horrors}}''. That whole [[TooKinkyToTorture scenario]] went right over my head... for about eleven years. * Upon re-watching ''{{Ghostbusters}}'' for the first time in many years, This Troper suddenly realized what the "Keymaster" and "Gatekeeper" bit [[FreudWasRight was all about]]. ** You can hide behind the same excuse I do, in that the first few times it was the television edit I saw. ** It took me a while to work out what that ghost did to Ray in his

dream as well... * This Troper is ashamed to admit how long it took her to get the "Well you never know if it's going to run" joke ("A Little Priest") regarding politicians from the film/musical Sweeney Todd. She still facepalms thinking about that. ** Same thing for this Troper. She also missed the "sweep, if you want it cheap, and you like it ''dark''" until she started actually thinking about the lyrics she had been blindly singing along to. ** You almost have to read the lyrics to "A Little Priest" to get all of the jokes. My favorite (that I didn't get until I bought the DVD) was "Then actor/It's compact-er/Yeah, but always arrives overdone!" * While in the car some five or six years after seeing the movie this troper with no prompting suddenly got the "cover of ''High Times''" joke at the end of ''[[SoBadItsHorrible Road Trip]]''. * Don't ask how long it took to get the "red herring" pun from {{Clue}}. Just don't. * The last scene of ''HoneyIShrunkTheKids'' shows Nick laughing as he finally makes the connection between artificial respiration and French class. I made the connection several years after seeing the film. * Even though she watched it quite a bit when she was younger, it's only now that [[Tropers/KingSonnDeeDoo This Troper]] is getting the more 'subtle' jokes in ''RobinHoodMenInTights''. One of the more prominent being why the Merry Men gasped at Robin's '[[VisualInnuendo sword]]' in the 'Moonlight Serenade' scene. * Some time in the late 1980s, this troper saw ''YoungFrankenstein'' for the first time. Some time in May, 2009, this troper finally realized why the horses bray whenever Frau Blucher's name is mentioned. ** Most likely, that troper is wrong. Most of the commonly cited reasons are apocryphal. It really is because she's just that scary. * This troper was recently discussing ''CastAway'' with a friend, who in the middle of the conversation realized why the volleyball's name was Wilson. ** Wait, it's got a special meaning? *** It's the brand of volleyball. If you didn't notice, then the name wouldn't make much sense. * This troper never understood that [[OrphanedPunchline final punchline]] to Marlin's sea cucumber joke at the end of ''FindingNemo''. Months later it finally hit home: "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?" was an IncrediblyLamePun of that stock "with friends like these..." gag. ** This troper only understood the conversation between Marlin and Nemo ("Forgot to brush." "Ohh..." "Do you want this anemone to sting you?" "Yes." "Brush.") after learning about clownfish and sea anemones. * This editor is almost embarrassed to admit how old he was when he realized that JohnBelushi falling off the side of the sorority house in ''AnimalHouse'' was a boner joke. * Similarly, in ''{{Spaceballs}}'', when Barf says "[[ADateWithRosiePalms I'm my own best friend]]". This editor didn't figure that one out 'til his twenties. ** Referring to a dog as "man's best friend" has ''nothing to do with

sex''. *** You see, there's this thing called "DoubleEntendre"... *** ...But that wasn't one. The full line is "I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend." Mel Brooks certainly isn't above making cheap masturbation jokes, but that line honestly seems clean. * Watching ''PulpFiction'' at the age of nearly 23 was a MAJOR LateToThePunchline moment for me. So many parodies, nods, references and homages over so many years, that I had never understood previously. * [[Tropers/MtOlivePickles This troper]] has watched ''AChristmasStory'' with her family for years, and growing up was confused about why Ralphie got the bar of soap in his mouth for saying "fudge". She even thought that in some contexts, fudge could be a bad word but wasn't sure when. Fast-forward to when she was seventeen and bought the movie on DVD as a present for her dad, and going over the scene again and realizing what exactly Ralphie got in trouble for saying. Cue laughter and plenty of "How did I not get that sooner?" ** I thought he really was saying "fuck" and was confused everytime I heard "But I didn't say that, I said ''the'' word." I finally realized a year ago (at the age of 20) that I misheard every time and he was actually saying "fudge". ** About ten years ago, this troper was watching "24 Hours of ''A Christmas Story''" while helping my mom and brother put the finishing decorations on the tree. During the gift-opening scene, when the Old Man opens the (very heavy) present his wife has just plunked into his lap and exclaims, "Well, it's a blue ball!", my brother (16 at the time) started laughing so hard he couldn't breathe. Five years later, I finally got it. * [[Tropers/DaibhidC This troper]] saw ''Hard Day's Night'' several times as a teenager, but never worked out that Paul's grandfather being "a clean old man" was a reference to the same actor playing Albert Steptoe, whose son would frequently yell "you ''dirty'' old man!" Seriously, I ''never'' worked it out; I just found out just now because it gets explained on the ''SteptoeAndSon'' page. * There was a part in ''[[DarkKnightTrilogy The Dark Knight]]'' where Joker says that Batman and co will capture Lau "and make him squeal". I assumed this was just the Joker being offbeatly terrifying as usual, until I later realised the double meaning: squeal as in 'like a pig', ''and'' squeal as in 'give up information'. * ''HalfBaked'': [[Tropers/MikeK I]] was naive enough when I first saw it to not know the ''other'' meaning of giving someone "a pearl necklace" - thus CompletelyMissingThePoint of that line in the ''exact way'' the character Brian did. * In ''AustinPowers: The Spy Who Shagged Me'', FatBastard has a line about having "a turtle head poking out" - I'd never heard the expression before, and had the even more disgusting idea that there was ''literally'' a live turtle trying to escape his rear. * A while back, [[Tropers/KingSonnDeeDoo This Troper]] read a comment (on this very wiki) about how in ''[[{{Ptitle1d5irnza}} 9]]'', [[spoiler:2's dead body]] "''had that [[TheWall Pink Floyd The Wall]] mask look to him.''". She didn't really understand, but cue a few months later, reading the {{Fridge Horror}} page, where the entry for

''{{The Wall}}'' says "''...his mental representation of himself is a dead-eyed ragdoll...''", and it all suddenly made perfect sense. [[HighOctaneNightmareFuel Horrifically.]] * If serious examples count, then the following happened when this lurker first saw ''TreasurePlanet''. -->Lurker, about nine: This movie's kinda cool, but what's Jim Hawkins' ''problem''? He's so mopey! -->(Ten years later) -->Lurker, about nineteen: OH GOD, JIM HAWKINS MY BRO IN ARMS WAAAAH. * Appropriately, this example is from ''[[RockyAndBullwinkle The Adventures Of Rocky And Bullwinkle]]''. The scene where Judge Cameo (WhoopiGoldberg) lists the charges, ending with "Incriminally Bad Punning, 18 counts." Bullwinkle replied, "And three Dukes and seven Earls." It took this troper's mother a few minutes to get it and explain it to me. * I knew TinaFey had to seriously tone down her original ''MeanGirls'' script in order to get a PG-13, but it didn't occur to me how much she'd managed to [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar keep in by other means]] until I thought real hard about this line: -->'''Janis''': We could publish [the burn book], and then everybody would see what an [[CountryMatters ax-wound]] [Regina] really is! * In an example not involving the transition from childhood to adulthood, this troper only realized after quite a few viewings of ''{{Clerks}}'' what the deal is in the introduction of Jay and Silent Bob when Jay graphically propositions Silent Bob and then loudly denies being gay immediately before Willam shows up. It isn't clear why this troper never realized that Jay sees Willam approaching before the audience does and hastily tries to preserve his state of denial. * This troper watched the Mostly MontyPython film Yellowbeard when he was 8 and laughed at the character who was obviously a female with a fake moustache. When he watched it again at 21, he got the joke of the character's name: Mr. Prostitute. * In TheBigLebowski, The Dude goes to the doctor Maude recommended, and in the end of the scene the doctor prepares to give him an unexpected rectal examination. Cut to The Dude driving back home with Creedence Clearwater Revival's "Lookin' Out My Back Door" on the stereo. It took a second viewing for it to dawn on me how, er, appropriate to the prior scene the title of that song is. * The first thing that went through this lurker's mind when he saw [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y70vcs3oV14 this]] scene from ''TheMatrix'' was "So ''that's'' where they got the idea for [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWAOtAWG3wQ that commercial!]]" * The title of ''The Gore Gore Girls'' - it wasn't until I actually started watching the movie and noted the many gratuitous strip tease scenes that I realized "Oh, like ''go-go'' girls!" * It took my brother and me years to get the [[MarxBrothers "I shot an elephant in my pajamas, how he got there, I'll never know"]] joke from AnimalCrackers, because we both assumed that the elephant was wearing the pajamas right off the bat. [[/folder]] [[folder:Literature]]

* This troper had an ''eight year'' delay regarding the title ''Amber Brown is Not A Crayon.'' See, the joke is that her name is a color. ([[AntiHumor The joke was not that people aren't crayons]], as I previously thought.) * Pick a {{Discworld}} book. Any Discworld book. The sheer amount to references to everything under the sun in the books has prompted the creation of [[http://www.lspace.org/books/apf/ the reference file]]. Some of the early books became far more enjoyable once this troper was able to understand all the jokes. ** ''Witches Abroad'' is an overall satire on fairy tales and happy endings in general, but it was only some time after reading it that I spotted the significance of the main villain creating her artificial idea of the perfect fairy tale kingdom in the middle of a swamp. Hello, Disneyworld. ** It took this troper until he saw the Animated version, to get the "Elvish" and other jokes in ''Soul Music'', though as soon as I Heard it, I held my head in shame. Though I don't think I had heard of the "Bigger than Jesus" thing the first time I read it. To be fair, I did suffer from a speech problem, so even today, I sometimes don't fully connect how words sound and how they are spelt. *** Ditto with the MeaningfulName of ''Imp Y Celin'', when this troper read it at age twelve (yeah, I had few friends), I never got the point of ''Bud (Y) of the Holly''. *** The "Bigger than Cheeses" line isn't in the book, anyway. It's one of a few gags the scriptwriters added, and Pterry said he ''wished'' he'd thought of. ** I just realised, ''this morning'', that "knurd" is "drunk" spelled backwards. Only took me, what, twelve years? ** [[Tropers/DaibhidC This troper]] only recently realised, after reading ''Wyrd Sisters'' countless times, that when the Duke protests that he's ''not'' the Fool's "nuncle", this is the same foreshadowing as Granny's "A man has to be a born fool to be a king". ** [[Discworld/CarpeJugulum Count de Magpyre]]. [[OneForSorrowTwoForJoy Count]] [[FunetikAksent de]] [[OneForSorrowTwoForJoy magpies]]. [[Tropers/JET73L I]] would have {{facepalm}}ed had it been enough. ** [[Tropers/{{Andyroid}} This troper]] can't believe it took himself so long to figure out why, in ''Discworld/FeetOfClay'', Mr. Ironcrust got mad after Carrot stopped the unlicensed thieves from robbing his store: Carrot had ([[ObfuscatingStupidity unwittingly?]]) caught him out on his claim that he was a taxpayer, and now he was most likely about to be audited. ** In ''Discworld/TheLastContinent'', the titular continent of XXXX was put onto the Disc after its original creation by an entirely different Creator than the one introduced in ''Discworld/{{Eric}}''... which given all the jokes about evolutionary theory in the book may or may not be a subtle reference to a letter written by Charles Darwin during an expedition in Australia: -->I have been lying on a sunny bank and was reflecting on the strange character of the animals of this country as compared to the rest of the World. An unbeliever in everything beyond his own reason might exclaim, '''"Surely two distinct Creators must have been at work."'''

[emphasis mine] ** [[Tropers/KingSonnDeeDoo This Troper]] was riding her bike when she only got the pun in the blurb for ''[[Discworld/MenAtArms Men At Arms]]'', about Nobby being 'disqualified from the human race for shoving'. As in ''a race you run''. * I found and read my father's copy of ''TheHitchHikersGuideToTheGalaxy'' when I was seven. I liked it overall, but it took me ''nine years'' to get the "it's unpleasantly like being drunk'' joke. I was sixteen and sitting on a bus thinking about nothing in particular when it suddenly dawned on me. (Actually, when I went back and re-read that book as an adult I realised how many other jokes I'd missed, so I guess pretty much all of it could fall under this trope.) ** This troper was actually thinking over the above moment and wondering what the joke was because he ''still'' didn't get it...before getting it. The full joke, for those who don't remember, is "It's unpleasantly like being drunk", "What's so unpleasant about being drunk?", "You ask a glass of water." This troper thought it was just riffing on drinking lots of water being a hangover cure -[[spoiler:in fact, it's talking about being drunk like a glass of water is drunk.]] *** This troper literally woke up knowing the answer. She didn't get it for years until she figured it out ''in a dream'', woke up, and realized it wasn't normal dream nonsense, and that the explanation actually made sense. *** This troper was actually ashamed that it took her the better part of a decade to get the joke. *** This troper would like to thank you for explaining that joke, since he's only had the chance to read the translated (Finnish in this case) version of the book, and it made no sense there. *** This troper only got the joke recently. She was walking along the street and suddenly understood it. "Drunk! A glass of water is drunk. You drink a glass of water." ** Another example: This Troper remembers a story about a kid who watched a short film about pollution, after which the teach casually remarked that the car looked like an old Ford Prefect. The kid suddenly burst out laughing, as he finally realized where the ''Hitchhiker's'' character's name had come from. *** Even funnier if you remember how Ford met Arthur. (Arthur saved him from getting hit by a car due to Ford thinking that cars were the dominant species on Earth.) **** For bonus points, the car that nearly hits him in the movie is a Ford Prefect. **** In the novel, there's a line about Ford Prefect assuming his name ''because'' he thought cars were the dominant species. (He was trying to blend in.) ** It took This Troper several years of intermittent exposure to information on RichardNixon to realize that the name of the computer Deep Thought may be a pun on Deep Throat (Adams himself having identified it as an "incredibly obvious pun"). *** Perhaps ThatTroper isn't quite old enough to remember Linda Lovelace...

** About the third time I read the first book in the series, I finally understood how that mind control alien DrinkingGame had this [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean penalty that was "obscenely biological" and Ford Prefect played to lose]]. ** It took [[Tropers/QuantumToast this troper]] several months to get the "Stavro Mueller Beta" thing. ** [[Tropers/FusionDragon This troper]] only recently got the joke behind the phrase "the scale of the problem is not widely understood". ** [[Tropers/DaibhidC This troper]] only recently realised that the Guide's publisher, Megadodo Publications, isn't just a funny collection of syllables, but named after a "Mega-dodo" in the same way as "Mega-donkey" and "Mega-grasshopper". And, therefore, is probably a reference to a ''real'' publishing company named after a flightless bird... * The first few times This Troper read ''ArtemisFowl,'' she completely failed to pay attention to the pen names the main character used when submitting articles to scientific journals. Then she noticed that Artemis had published an article on psychology under the name [[FreudianSlip Dr. F. Roy Dean Schlippe]]. ** I didn't realise there was a joke there at all until they explained the other joke pen name in the fifth book (C. Niall [=DeMencha=] = Senile Dementia). Then I looked back at the name F. Roy Dean Schlippe and finally got it. * This Troper just got one -- during the introduction scene of ''[[StarWars Starfighters of Adumar]]'', Derek "Hobbie" Klivian tells the mission documentarian, "I'll get back with you on my last name. Lots of people misspell it." Indeed, [[MythologyGag his name goes back and forth between "Klivian" and "Klivan"]] depending on the source. * Machiavelli's work, ''The Prince'' is filled with these. One good example: He describes Charles XII of France's troubles with invading Italy, one of them being that he could not deal with the Vatican, ultimately appeasing it, which was his ruin. The next chapter describes Alexander the Great's ease of conquering Darius's kingdom, which falls into a system much like the contemporary Turks, as opposed to the French. ''Sixteen'' chapters later, he compares the Vatican to the Turks, almost in an off-hand way. In essence, he's told the reader ''how to conquer the Catholic Church''. This is also a prime example of GettingCrapPastTheRadar. * Peter David's ''SirAproposOfNothing'' series has [[HurricaneOfPuns so many injokes]] that sometimes it took three readings for this troper to get them all. * Laden with historical in-jokes and literary shout-outs as it is, the ''AnnoDracula'' series by KimNewman is just freaking made for LateToThePunchline moments. For example, in ''Bloody Red Baron'', the scene with the doctor and his assistant [[HPLovecraft West]] operating on vampires didn't really hit me until much later. Nor did the incident in which the Red Baron shoots a [[{{Peanuts}} small, annoying white dog...]] * Norton Juster's ''The Phantom Tollbooth'' is a classic, and most kids find it funny, but it wasn't until I re-read it at the age of 19, on a whim, that I got all of the puns. The book definitely operates on two levels -- half of the jokes go over your head unless you're old

enough to have heard the phrases they're punning on. * This troper used to read {{Animorphs}} as a kid, and was also a pokemon fan. It was not until recently reading the Tropes page for the series that the joke "I have already made sure, Prince Jake. They think I am a "pokey man." I have told them I am an Andalite and am actually quite swift, but they insist they need to train me." refered to Pokemon. * It took this troper an embarassingly long time to realize the puns behind the street names Diagon Alley and Knockturn Alley in the ''HarryPotter'' books. (The names sound like the words 'diagonally' and 'nocturnally'. ** I only just got the Knockturn one now. ** Grim Old Place, anyone? ** Almost a reverse example: American child reads ''HarryPotter''. In the first (?) book, the Dursleys send Harry a fifty-pence piece for Christmas. Ron marvels over the shape and says, "This is ''money''?" I assumed the joke was that wizarding coins are some kind of bizarre shape so that a regular round coin seemed weird to him. It wasn't until a few years later I found out that that coin is ''heptagonal'' (what madness is this, anyway?). ** For a more straightforward example: When this troper first read GobletOfFire, I thought Hagrid greeting Madame Maxime by saying "bingsewer" was just silly. Four years later, I started my first year of French in high school. When we started learning the greetings and came across "''bonsoir''" ("good evening"), I got it. * [[Tropers/DaibhidC This troper]] was an adult before it occured to him that when [[WinnieThePooh Eeyore]] loses his tail, and Christopher Robin fastens it back on with a nail, he's ''pinning the tail on the donkey''. * The map at the beginning of TheToughGuideToFantasyland is a map of Europe turned upside-down. I have had that book for what, three years now? * This troper knew that DavidWeber liked to use ''{{Safehold}}'s'' naming conventions play with names. One example he knew because of the wiki was [[{{Superman}} Kynt Clareyk]]. One he utterly failed to see, however, until it was emphasized for a separate reason, was [[{{Psycho}} Nahrmahn Baytz]]. * More of a fandom thing than actually to do with the LordOfTheRings books, but the Agent Smith/Elrond jokes were much funnier after I actually saw TheMatrix. * About a week ago this troper realized that [[{{Wayside School}} "Wayside"]] was an anagram of "Sideways", which is how the school is built. * This troper realized just a few minutes ago that [[AnansiBoys Nancy]] is a crude pun on Anansi. ** And the title ''AnansiBoys'' itself is a pun on "nancy boy", the word for gay people back when "gay" meant "happy". * It took a few math and physics classes for this troper to realize that the [[ShowWithinAShow book within a book]] [[ThursdayNext "The Squire of High Potternews"]] refers to the Pythagorean Theorem. * [[{{Odile}} I]] read ''[[NineteenEightyFour 1984]]'' before I knew much about the USSR. I reread the book recently, and I think I

might've actually said "Oh!" out loud while doing so. * From the HonorHarrington series, this reader kept seeing references to "Oyster Bay" without making the obvious (in hindsight) connection, perhaps having been spoofed by knowledge of Oyster Bay, Long Island. Then one morning, the penny dropped: a bay can also be a harbor, and what comes from oysters? * When I was ten I read a kid's joke book with the following: "Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana." For years I puzzled over this one: thrown banana, thrown banana ... yes, it would fly like a piece of fruit, what the heck is the joke? It's only very recently that it occurred to me that the joke might just be referring to fruit flies. * When this troper first read Robert Asprin's ''[[MythAdventures Myth Directions]]'', the joke of the setup--in which the city-states of Veygus and Ta-Hoe, in the dimension of Jahk, have a Big Game every year--passed completely over her head. (Earlier, she also didn't get why gnomes came from the dimension of Zoorik.) * ''Lord of Light'' by RogerZelazny has one part that goes through an extensive build-up to produce the line: [[spoiler:"Then the fit hit the Shan."]] It was at least two years after first reading it that this troper did the inversion -- and he wasn't even reading the book at the time; just remembering it. * Not a joke, but early in AndreNorton's ''Year of the Unicorn'' a minor character exclaims that she'd rather "wed steel" than marry one of the [[TheFairFolk Were-Riders]]. It took this troper fifteen or twenty '''years''' to realize she was talking about suicide by knife. * This Troper read a book of toned down Greek Mythology when he was a young'un that detailed the marriage of Aphrodite to Hephaestus who wooed the goddess by saying he "worked late." At first, he thought it was sweet that she appreciated his hard work but [[YourCheatingHeart knowing what I know now about]] [[SleepsWithEveryoneButYou Aphrodite]] * ''HouseOfLeaves''. Leaves as in paper. So, [[color:blue:House]] of paper, and the [[color:blue:house]] is a labyrinth, and the book is a labyrinth, so ''the [[color:blue:house]] is the book''. I ''just'' got the double meaning of the title. The damn cover is even blue, and it took me this long? * I started reading ''ASeriesOfUnfortunateEvents'' when I was about 12 or 13. I never got the joke behind Uncle Monty's name until about seven years later as a sophomore in college, when this thought process went through my head: -->''I probably should get around to watching FearAndLoathingInLasVegas someday. I mean, it's got Johnny Depp and it's directed by a Python...is that the right term for a member of MontyPython? Maybe- OH! His name is'' '''''MONTY''''' ''and he works with reptiles, including'' '''''PYTHONS!''''' ''Wow, I'm slow.'' [[/folder]] [[folder:LiveActionTV]] * ''MysteryScienceTheater3000'' is the king of this. Nearly 200 episodes of that 90 minute long show exist, and each episode is piled high with layers of cultural reference humor, including metareferences, call-backs, and MemeticMutation (for example, their

joke "I thought you were Dale" when a movie calls attention to someone's hand resulted from either a) the writers misremembering two different commercials as the same commercial or b) metareferencing the parody film Kentucky Fried Movie). Often, their references were very specific. An untold amount of space on the WWW and Usenet has been dedicated to discovering the origins of all their references, some of which were extremely specific or obscure. When asked about specific jokes in interviews, the writers themselves can't always identify the origin of a joke. Some of the jokes from the series, which ended almost ten years ago, are still mysteries. In addition, the show, while being very family friendly, was not above slipping in more risque ParentalBonus style LateToThePunchline Moments. This density is one of the major reasons individual episodes have such great rewatchability (see also: BetterOnDVD). * When this troper was a child, she innocently watched an episode of ''SesameStreet'' featuring a special guest named "Polly Darton." Several years later after hearing some news tidbit about Dolly Parton, she finally understood what had been pegged as boring. * Anyone who watched ''SesameStreet'' as a kid will probably have a bunch of "Oh, so that's what they were parodying" moments when they get older. ** For instance, this troper remembered a bit with an orange in a kitchen singing opera. Only upon embarking on a nostalgia binge did he realize that the orange was singing Carmen. ** Also, Placido Flamingo. ** "[[{{Columbo}} Colaaaaaambo]]" the PrivateDetective, too. ** Don't forget their extended [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vftf8TTve4s parody]] of ''TwinPeaks'', of all things. ** This troper can only imagine his kids' reaction when they figure out the MadMen sketch. * This troper grew up watching ''{{Seinfeld}}'' with his parents. It wasn't until he watched all the episodes again on DVD that he realized how much of the show he didn't get the first time around. * A scene from an episode of ''{{Friends}}'' has Rachel and Ross breaking up when he says he won't take full responsibility for their previous breakup. He leaves after the fight, at which point she shouts to him, "And hey, just so you know, it's ''not'' that common, it ''doesn't'' happen to every guy, and it ''is'' a big deal!" at which point Chandler shouts "I KNEW IT!" It took this troper ''five years'' to finally figure out that they weren't talking about the breakup itself. ** This Troper did the same thing with all the jokes about Joey having small feet. As well as countless other jokes. They were really too young to watch ''{{Friends}}''... ** When Joey got Chandler a bracelet and asked him to imagine what it would do for his sex life, this troper never understood Chandler's response--that once he got used to the extra weight, he'd be back on track. Only after rewatching the episode for probably the tenth time about five years later and finally realizing that Chandler didn't have much of a sex life did it finally make sense. * This troper only figured out a week before ''Series/{{Heroes}}'''

third series finale that "Elle" is so named because it's the first syllable of "electricity". ** [[LateToThePunchline Oh christ.]] -->Recursive trope moment? ** Another layer is that "Elle" = "L," as in '''L'''ightning. * ''TheAdventuresOfPeteAndPete'' was surprisingly sophisticated for a kids' show, making cultural references no one in its intended audience could have possibly gotten. For one example, in the episode with Little Pete tunneling his way out of being grounded, he finds a wallet underground, looks in it, and says "Hoffa!" and pockets it. There was no kid in the early 1990s who knew about the disappearance of trade unionist Jimmy Hoffa. * In ''DharmaAndGreg'', it's revealed that Larry and Abby nickname each other Major Tom and Ground Control. This becomes much funnier and more fitting when you find out what the song "Space Oddity" is actually about. * This Troper had one of those moments involving ''TheGoonShow'', and specifically an interview with PeterSellers and Harry Secombe where Sellars was explaining that they sometimes [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar got crap past the radar]]. His example was the character name Hugh Jympton, pronounced "Hugh Jampton", said it was rhyming slang for something else, and muttered the something else inaudibly to me, but to gales of laughter from the studio audience. Years later, I was leaving university for the day and, out of nowhere, thought "Hugh Jampton, Huge Hampton, Hampton Wick... oooh!", realising immediately that [[TheTwoRonnies another British comedy]] had for '''an entire season''' run a serialised sketch called "Hampton Wick"! * This troper, a nanny in her twenties, took far too long to realize that London Tipton of ''TheSuiteLifeOfZackAndCody'' was a NoCelebritiesWereHarmed, [[{{Disneyfication}} Disneyfied]] version of Paris Hilton. * This troper, not two days ago, got a joke from ''MalcolmInTheMiddle'' about "some girl named Molly Hatchet." * This troper finally got this one joke from the SpinCity episode "The Rivals", in which the Mayor has accidentally caused former mayor Abe Garfield's death during an attempt to appease him, and blames himself for it. And this is in spite of having the [=DVDs=] for over three months and having watched it who knows how many times... -->'''James:''' Morning, sir. -->'''Mayor Winston:''' (somberly) Yes, I am, son. (hands on James's shoulders) The whole city is. (pats him on the shoulder, quietly) I'm sorry... * This Californian troper was watching ''{{Rocky}}'', set it Philadelphia during very cold weather, and thought, "Hmm, I wonder why it's never that cold in ''ItsAlwaysSunnyInPhiladelphia''. Ohh... right." * It was far into adulthood that I got the joke behind "Fargo North, Decoder" in TheElectricCompany. * This Troper's mother had quite a beautiful one regarding ''Wallace and Gromit: A Close Shave'' that she has never since been allowed to forget. A sheep is put through a machine which washes him, then shears him. Wallace then picks him up and says "We'll call him Shaun." The

family all laughed, including my mother. Three years later, she suddenly cried out "Oh, ''that's'' why he was called Shaun the Sheep!" Yes mother. Yes, it was. ** This troper thought for the longest time that he was straight-up called Shorn... * This troper's first watching of the Red Dwarf episode "Polymorph" was when she was about nine. Cue the scene of Kryten wearing his groinal attachment removing Lister's shrinking underpants and she giggled because it looked silly. It wasn't that funny. Many years later, an older and wiser troper watched the scene. And fell off the sofa laughing as she saw exactly what everyone else was seeing! * When This Troper was a kid, my parents REFUSED to explain to me a joke in BlackAdder where BlackAdder, Baldric and Percy were all framing the Baby-Eating Bishop of Canterburry by getting him drunk, and in the morning he wakes up in a bed with Percy in a very unusual costume. ** I only ''just'' had a LateToThePunchline moment about that very episode: I just realised that the beginning scene with Molly the inexpensive prostitute is a false ChekhovsGun, with the audience expected to think that she would be the "second figure" in the painting at the end -- making the reveal that it's actually Percy even funnier. * It took me several years to get the double meaning of [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CRIwuxqKyyk this]] Swedish Chef-skit. * I only just realised why the prosthetic-nose maker from ''RedDwarf: Back to Earth'' was named Swallow (i.e. because the character he's based on -- the eye-designer from ''BladeRunner'' -- is named Chew). * A particularly embarrassing one: ''PushingDaisies'''s first episode is called "Pie-lette." ''[[{{Pilot}} Pie-lette]]''. I'm bad with puns, okay? * Much to his eternal shame, it took this Troper well over a year to realise that the "Dancing" the ''[[Series/DoctorWho Doctor]]'' keeps referring to in The Doctor Dances is actually ''[[IfYouKnowWhatIMean the horizontal tango]]''. ** Don't feel bad. This troper and a few friends were watching that episode (one for the first time) when one of them brought this up. Cue angry glares at her for trying to ruin a lovely, harmless, completely innocent episode of ''Series/DoctorWho'' for the rest of us, followed by fits of giggles every time the word "dance" is mentioned after we realize she's actually right. * ''SaluteYourShorts'' had Kevin Lee, a counselor who was called Ug by the campers, making his name Ug Lee. That went way over my head as a kid. * [[Tropers/JET73L I]] was pondering the IdiosyncraticEpisodeNaming of ''TheBigBangTheory'', and how most of the episode titles seem only tangentially related to the overarching plot of the episode until you think about the weave of the plot threads. After two years of watching the show (plus most of the first season on DVD), I only ''just'' realized that the title was a play on words about sex. * This troper didn't understand the following joke from {{Glee}} until a friend in the drama department explained that it was about oral sex. -->'''Rachel''': I guess I don't have much of a gag reflex.

-->'''Emma''': One day, when you're older, that'll turn out to be a gift. * I have one from (believe it or not) FullHouse: I was in college before I realized Joey was lying to Michelle about newlyweds Jesse and Becky "doing their taxes". * I didn't get it until I was an adult that the bad ringmaster on TheGreatSpaceCoaster's name was a pun: M. T. Promises. * [[{{JinxedBlackcat}} This Troper]] only realized today that the Bones episode title Mayhem on the Cross was ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin because ''the victim's stage name was Mayhem and his bones were crucified!!'' * This troper and her big sister were watching Scrubs, the episode where we find out Turk has diabetes to be exact. When Carla puts the bowl of Milano's in front of Turk and JD mispronounces them, he says Mulattoes. Naturally, I laugh hysterically, while sis just looks confused. Later we go to a bakery and she picks now, where everyone can hear her, to ask: "I don't get why JD said 'Milado's was racist. He was just a letter away right?". I explained it to my older sister and she laughed, only to point at the black and white cookies and say: "No those are Mulattoes!". Of course everyone heard her and we couldn't pay quick enough! * This troper JUST NOW, ten years after it aired, got the joke in the title of the ''{{Scrubs}}'' episode "My Bed Banter & Beyond." In my defense, there are no Bed, Bath & Beyond stores within perhaps 100 miles of where I live, but still * This troper saw the Seinfeld episode with Jerry's girlfriend whose name he couldn't remember when he was a child. It took him a decade to realize what part it sounded like. * This troper took 3 years to get a few of the jokes in ''FawltyTowers''. One is when Basil says, "The Samaritans were engaged" -- meaning he couldn't call them as the phone line was busy. As a child brought up atheist, and therefore having never heard of the Good Samaritans, and having always used 'busy' instead of 'engaged' when referring to phone lines, I initially thought it was about a couple (the Samaritans) getting engaged to be married, and wondered what the line was doing there. The other one was when Basil says that the police were busy, since there was a lot of "bloodshed at the NellGwyn Tearooms last night." I was mystified, having never heard of the tearooms, until my father explained to me that tearooms are peaceful, dignified places that old ladies go to. [[/folder]] [[folder:Music]] * This troper listened to TomLehrer songs from an early age; early enough to have had a moment when he realized what the "Old Dope Peddler" was selling. ** Try re-listening to the song ''Smut'' * This troper's parents listened to a lot of MeatLoaf when I was a child. I liked it but never understood it, until one day when I was about ten years old I turned to my father wide-eyed and asked, "Dad, is this song about sex?" The look on his face still makes me grin years later.

** The baseball sequence in the middle of "Paradise by the Dashboard Lights" (I assume that's the above) took a while with [[{{Scifantasy}} me]], too, when I was younger. Apparently, they didn't tell Phil Rizzuto about it either -- he thought the script was improbably full of close calls, and didn't realize what he was actually "narrating" until he heard finished song. * [[Tropers/TheStray This Troper]] has a LateToThePunchline moment when he found out a song called "Let's Go Crazy," which he'd only head as a kid on a Nintendo Piano lesson, was actually a song... done by Prince. ''That'' Prince. Though this may be more a case of CoveredUp, since I'd never actually heard the lyrics before... * Since the middle 1980s, [[Tropers/LooneyToons this troper]] has had (and frequently listened to) a copy of Tom Paxton's song "I Sold A Hammer To The Pentagon", written during the Reagan-era Pentagon procurement scandals in which the military paid outrageously high prices for everyday goods, like [[http://news.cnet.com/2009-1009_35404307.html $436 for a hammer]]. It was only in early 2008 that he figured out the punchline: the song comes in three verses, in the form "I sold X to the Pentagon, so you can sell Y, and we'll both be millionaires", where in the first two X and Y are related -hammers/nails, coffee pots/coffee. In the third verse, he sold toilet seats and merely says "you know what you can sell to the... Pentagon". It took this troper over twenty years to figure out Paxton was coyly saying that you could sell literal shit to the Pentagon and get them to pay through the nose for it. * How many people figure out on their own that ''[[TheBeatles Rubber Soul]]'' is a pun? ** Or even that the name The Beatles itself is one? ** This troper didn't realize how dirty Back in the USSR is until she was singing it out loud with some friends. * [[Tropers/YourObedientSerpent This Troper]] just had one ''right this very minute'', when a friend mentioned getting "[=BuFu'd=]" by a computer virus, and I ''finally'', after ''almost three decades'', realized what Moon Unit Zappa was calling her effeminate teacher when she dubbed him "Mr. [=BuFu=]" in the 1981 song, "Valley Girl". ** [[Tropers/{{Wheezy}} This troper]] just had that same realization while reading your comment, and is having a LateToThePunchline moment as he types this.[[hottip:* :He always thought she was saying "BooHoo," and was wondering why that made so little sense.]] * [[Tropers/HeadacheJohn This Troper]] was doing a project in high school, and for reasons lost to the mists of time was transcribing the lyrics to the Dave Matthews Band song "Two Step." Halfway through, he shouted "[[FreudWasRight THIS IS ALL ABOUT SEX!]]" confusing his mother and passersby. ** This troper had the same reaction to "Crash Into Me". * This troper listened to a lot of Sammy Hagar as a kid (This being my first exposure to heavy metal); my favorite song being ''There's Only One Way to Rock''. It wasn't until roughly 10 years later, that I finally figured out what some of the lyrics meant...and I wound up liking the song even more. * When [[Tropers/MikeK I]] first heard "Violin" by TheyMightBeGiants, I thought the bridge dividing George Washington's head into quarters

was just an arbitrary bit of silliness, albeit one that fit in perfectly with the song's already [[WordSaladLyrics absurd lyrical bent]], as well as TMBG's odd fixation with severed heads in general. I then realized it kind of makes a surreal sort of sense to divide George Washington's head into quarters, since George Washington's head is ''on'' quarters. It also took me ridiculously long to realize the TMBG EP title ''Back To Skull'' was a pun on "Back to school". ** And George Washington's head is also on the one dollar bill, which when divided into quarters yields four quarters, both fractionally and monetarily. * It took reading this site for [[Tropers/AirshipCanon this troper]] to realize that The All American Reject's "Move Along" is about a guy trying to convince his girlfriend to not commit suicide. Namely, ''after'' he had made an anime music video using the song and TalesOfSymphonia (and its then-upcoming OVA). Guess what the [[TheReveal big event]] one third of the way into that game is? [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin Exactly.]] * [[Tropers/{{Emiko}} This troper]] has a song called "GreenLantern: Hal Jordan," by J-Sin Starr, on her computer in [=MP3=] form. The track's album title is listed as "Three Million New Yorkers Died And You Weren't One Of Them." Over two years after having acquired the song, she read [[{{Watchmen}} her first Western comic.]] She laughed very, very hard when she realized that the album title was a reference to that comic. * This troper's LateToThePunchline moment came when, after not hearing it for six or so years, recalled this poem. -->Mary had a little lamb/She also had a duck/She took it round the corner to teach it how to... -->Fry some eggs for breakfast/Fry some eggs for tea/The more you eat the more drink the more you want to... -->Peter had a boat, the boat began to rock/Up jumped jaws and bit off his.... -->Cocktails, gingerales, 40c a glass/If u dont like it, we'll shove 'em up your.... -->Ask no questions, tell no lies/I once saw a policeman doing up his.... -->Flies are bad, mosquitoes are worse/And that is the end of my silly little verse. ** ...Now children, what rhymes with duck? This troper was singing this to someone trying to recollect it, but couldn't get past the first line as the penny dropped. It was the only line that needed a LateToThePunchline moment however, as the rest was self explanatory to an eleven year old. ** This happens a lot with the "Miss Suzy" rhymes. You learn them as a little child to play clapping games to (I was about 7), and don't get how completely ''filthy'' they are for a long, long time. There are many versions, some talking about kissing, bras, flies, etc. For reference: ---> Miss Suzy had a steamboat, her steamboat had a bell ---> Miss Suzy went to heaven, her steamboat went to ... ---> Hello operator, please give me number nine ... * One of [[Tropers/RobinZimm this troper]]'s favorite songs from

TheWho as a child was "Squeeze Box". Today, reading GettingCrapPastTheRadar ... * WeirdAlYankovic is considered family-friendly, and [[Tropers/FalconPain this troper]] started listening to him at a young age. Which meant it was between ten and fifteen years later that he understood the meaning of "I'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love, and I have to use the self-service pumps". ** This troper had the SAME DAMN thing happen to him. As a kid, he always thought that line was lame. And then...suddenly, it was funny. * [[Tropers/MikeK I]] didn't fully get the joke of "Don't Pick It Up" by The Offspring until I started listening to more ska (well, specifically, I think it was when I first heard Operation Ivy's "Sound System" that I, er, picked it up): Ska songs often have musical breaks where the vocalist will shout "pick it up, pick it up, pick it up!", so The Offspring wrote a ska song about things one ''shouldn't'' pick up (such as dog feces, venereal disease, and gender benders). * Listening to Julia Nunes' "Stairwell" [[Tropers/MikeK this troper]] just now realized what was meant by "I'm lying here on the floor just like the man on the yellow cone": think of the fallen stick figure on the slippery floor signs. * Once I found out the name of music magazine ''NME'' actually stands for "New Musical Express", the Gin Blossoms' album title ''New Miserable Experience'' seemed a lot more clever. * This trooper had known the song "Girl at the Rock Show" by Blink-182 for years, but it wasn't until her senior year of highschool, that she stopped in her tracks while listing to the song and shouted "OH! Bon Jovi!" to the line "She took my hand / And I made it, I swear". * [[Tropers/MikeK I]] just figured out that the band name Days Of The New is sort of a reversal of "news of the day". * I know I'm dating myself by admitting this, but back in the early Eighties when I was still a tween, there was a band named April Wine who came out with a song called "If You See Kay," which I loved. I heard it on the radio, sang it all the time and even taped it (and back in my day, we didn't have those fancy MP3 players. We recorded songs by holding a tape recorder in front of the radio, ''and we liked it!''). It wasn't until a few years later that I realized that the title of the song was actually the spelling of a certain word (sound it out). ** Wait, so Britney isn't even being original? Lamer. I had one of these moments when I tried to figure out what was up with "If you seek amy" - I had to overhear someone explaining it to someone else before I got it. * This troper used to listen to, and sing along with, Eve 6's "Inside Out" when young. Several years later, I find it on iTunes, put it on my iPod, and start singing along... "Tie me to the beeeedpost!" Wait, ''[[HeadTiltinglyKinky what?]]'' * It took this Troper a while to figure out that David Bowie's stage name came from the main character of 2001: A Space Odyssey, Dave Bowman. Similarly, the song title Space Oddity. ** It's an interesting coincidence, but Bowie actually was using that stage name at least a little before the movie came out, as an homage to [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Bowie Jim Bowie]].

* [[Tropers/{{Nausicaa}} This troper]] used to really like the song "Metarie", by Brendan Benson when she was around eleven or twelve. She hadn't listened to it until recently, when she realised what the line "bought some mags on the way home/For later on, ya know, when I'm all alone" [[ADateWithRosiePalms really]] meant. * When I was in Grade 5, other kids used to ask me, "Can you sing high?" At the time, I could go well into the alto range and would gladly demonstrate this for them... only to have them laugh and/or repeat the question. At that time, there was a song in the top-40 charts called "High", but it took me well into high school to realize this was what they meant. * The ultimate one for me: It took me over a decade to notice that "The Beatles" was spelled differently than insect "beetles" and that their spelling was meant to refer to a beat, as in the beat of a song. Then immediately, I realized that arguably the greatest band in music history had arguably the lamest band name of all time, and it saddens me to this day. ** See above. It's probably a triple pun. * Took this Troper a while to get what "U + Ur Hand" meant. [[{{ADateWithRosiePalms}} Heeeee.]] * [[Tropers/{{Dinru}} Dinru, the brilliant one,]] just realized that the Christmas Carol "We Wish You A Merry Christmas" isn't so much about ''Christmas'' per se, so much as wanting some [[SeriousBuisness goddamn figgy pudding]]. * [[Tropers/{{Freezer}} This Troper]] was in his early 30s when he realized that Kool & The Gang's "Tonight" was about a boy getting his v-card punched by an older woman. ThisTroper blames the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XA3DOBY1BgY sanitized video]]. * The Arrogant Worms has a song [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJXZLnMPiQ4 me like hockey]]. The last few seconds have them suddenly screaming "Yeah!" I just realized that they're imitating the siren that plays at the end of a hockey game. * I just figured out that XTC's album title ''White Music'' is a play on the phrase "white noise". * A few days ago I made the connection between the fact that Kate Ceberano's song "Pash" is about deep kissing, and that the music video included subtitles in French, besides thinking French = romantic. * [[OzzyOsbourne Crazy Train]]'s opening riff sounds like a [[StealthPun starting locomotive]]. I didn't realize that for ''years''! ** I'd bet there's very likely an entire subpage to come out of subtle stuff like that. Consider, for example, Pink's "Just Like A Pill" and its signature looped triangle[[spoiler:/heart monitor]]. ** Similarly, it took me a while to figure out that the intro to The Yardbirds' version of "Train Kept A Rollin'" (which Aerosmith also borrowed for their cover) is supposed to sound like a train whistle. * {{Nirvana}}'s "Gallons Of Rubbing Alcohol Flow Through The Strip" is mostly full of WordSaladLyrics (which is justifiable because it's completely improvised), but there is in fact a clever bit of wordplay/dark humor I missed at first: -->Somebody else already used the word aurora borealis

-->She was tied up in chains, and Sam had helped her in the freezer ** See, we go from Aurora bore''alis'' to AliceInChains to Alice from TheBradyBunch apparently getting chained up in a meat locker by Sam The Butcher. That last part might seem like kind of s stretch, but there's a general "wholesome sitcom characters with a dark secret" theme in common with "Floyd The Barber". * It took me a long time to figure out that TheBeastieBoys' "Negotiation Limerick File" isn't just called that because it mentions limericks and ends in the line "Let's try to negotiate"... The lyrics roughly follow the meter and rhyme scheme of a limerick. For instance: -->I tell you everybody I've had it -->With all these people with static -->I'll go insane -->if it don't rain -->Sucker MC's are problematic * The band Love have an album called ''Four Sail''. It took me some time to realize it was a PunBasedTitle ("for sale"), and a bit longer to figure out it was also a play on the band's name ("love for sale"). * I used to think {{Tool}}'s "Hooker With A Penis" just had a weird, NonAppearingTitle. Then I realized that since the song is about the band supposedly selling out, the significance of the title is that Maynard James Keenan is comparing himself to a prostitute. * Warren Zevon's "Werewolves Of London" has the lines "You better stay away from him / he'll rip your lungs out, Jim", and the mention of Jim always sort of bugged me because it seemed like it was just there for the sake of rhyme. Later on, I realized it was actually part of a punny ShoutOut to one of his comtemporaries: the very next line mentions a tailor. Jim, tailor, James Taylor. * {{Radiohead}} have a dvd compilation of the music videos made for ''The Bends'' and ''Ok Computer'' called ''7 Television Commercials''. It took me a really long time to figure out they were calling their music videos advertisements for the albums. * ElvisCostello's "Chemistry Class" has an odd skip in the middle of the line "if it wasn't for some accidents then some of us would never learn", rendering the word "accidents" as "acciden-accidents". The first time I heard it I thought my cd was skipping - when I listened again and it happened in the same place, I thought there was some weird mastering mistake in this version of the album or something. Then I finally got that it was an intentional "mistake" occuring right when the lyrics mention ''accidents''. * It took me a while to figure out the significance of the title of Sloan's ''The Double Cross''. It was released when they'd been together for exactly 20 years, and the album title subtly acknowledges this - 20 in roman numerals is XX, or a ''double cross''. I didn't get it until I was at a show and noticed all of their crew had jackets that said "XX" on back, and that all their gear was similarly marked. [[/folder]] [[folder:NewspaperComics]] * The series ''TheFarSide'' was notorious for this; there's a story about a college professor who placed a number of the cartoons on the

door of his classroom -- the more jokes his students got, the more they had learned. ** The infamous "Cow Tools" cartoon played with this in [[MindScrew epic fashion]] -- readers kept expecting to get the joke when the entire point of the strip was that the punchline was gibberish. ** Several of the cartoons are puns that [[Tropers/{{Tabs}} this troper]] took years to understand, such as one with a lone chicken in a bar with cow patrons and a caption that reads, "Vera looked around the room. Not another chicken anywhere. And then it struck her - this was a hay bar." * This troper and several of his friends find ''CalvinAndHobbes'' massively funnier now that they're older and wiser and thus understand much more of Bill Watterson's satire. This troper in particular has been known to cry ''and'' laugh at the same time while reading the books. ** Somewhat lampshaded when Calvin quotes Paul Gaugin, haughtily responds to the quote, waits a BeatPanel, then asks "Who the heck is Paul Gaugin?" * There's a ''FoxTrot'' comic in which Peter has a DreamSequence with a pair of swimsuit models fighting over him. Then the models decide their suits are too pinchy and they should just take them off, at which point Peter is woken up by his alarm. This Troper first read that comic as an (apparently very naive) preteen, only realizing years later what the joke was. ** Several arcs became way, ''way'' funnier after I read ''TheLordOfTheRings''. [[/folder]] [[folder:Radio]] * My parents have been fans of ''ImSorryIHaventAClue'' since before my brother and I were born. Before our LateToThePunchline moment, they had to explain away about half of the jokes with, "Maybe someone pulled a funny face" -- that show was the ''embodiment'' of GettingCrapPastTheRadar. * This troper heard "[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaving_Cream_(song) Shaving Cream]]" once on the radio as a kid and somehow remembered enough to sing several verses of it by heart for years. And it took years for him to realize the SubvertedRhymeEveryOccasion aspect of the song's chorus... he figured it was just about how funny it was that people kept running into shaving cream in odd places. --> "I have a sad story to tell you / It may hurt your feelings a bit / Last night I walked into my bathroom / And stepped in a big pile of shaving cream / Be nice and clean / Shave every day and you'll always look keen." [[/folder]] [[folder:TabletopGames]] * Since the ''{{Munchkin}}'' card list is basically a HurricaneOfPuns, there's bound to be ones you don't get until later. For example: failing to recognise the significance of "Fire Arms", not connecting the [=DnD=] creature known as the Rust Monster to the ''Munchkin''

Lust Monster, and so forth. * In a game of Scion headed by a friend of mine--for those who don't know, all characters in Scion are the sons/daughters of a god or goddess--we were mingling amongst ourselves and making small talk before we actually got our mission. Someone asked my character, a scion of Hermes, about his father. "Well, he's something of a postal worker, I suppose." "A government official, then?" Seeing the opportunity, I responded quickly "You could even say he's a government official director, yes." Thirty minutes later, one of them starts laughing out of the blue, and I say "You finally figured out what it stood for, huh?" Everyone at the table realized what I'd said at that point. There was much rejoicing. [[/folder]] [[folder:Theater]] * Anything by {{Shakespeare}} is likely going to evoke this. When you read ''{{Romeo and Juliet}}'' for the first time in Junior High, it probably seems densely written and pointless, unless you're a fan of random death. Come back when you've got enough literature experience to figure out what the hell's going on, and suddenly The Bard's work is beautifully written ''and'' wildly funny. ** Works the other way around, too, considering the sheer number of literature, movies and series that crib off Shakespeare plays, whether it's plots, names, quotes or [[ShoutOut homages]]. Reading them for the first time in college, [[ThisTroper This (French) Troper]] had a slew of "so '''''that's''''' what ''that'' was about" moments. ** Also, {{Shakespeare}} was a ''master'' at GettingCrapPastTheRadar. This Troper's favorite is the stuff Hamlet is saying when he's pretending to be mad. It was years before he realized that the stuff he says to Ophelia is downright ''raunchy''. ** This troper was actually amazed when freshman English class started reading Romeo and Juliet. "They're not old enough for the content," she thought to herself. "Freshmen are too immature to handle all these dirty puns." Then she realized that most of her class didn't get the puns at all, because they weren't quite as familiar with Elizabethan English as she was. *** Really this Troper's class were laughing but then we're just dirty minded. ** Really, Shakespeare requires things to be spoken and performed to be understood properly by a modern audience. Even then, you're probably best off seeing it a couple of times, just to make sure you're picking up all the little details. * This troper has been a ''[[SeventeenSeventySix 1776]]'' fan since sixth grade... and ''just recently'' realized what exactly John Adams was referring to when he mentioned "his favorite lover's pillow" to his wife. ** Or when Jefferson is complaining about how he never gets to see his wife. That one actually got me to turn off the movie to go into the kitchen and ask my parents what they were ''thinking'' letting me watch it at so young an age. -->'''Jefferson:''' But I burn Mr. A. -->'''Adams:''' So do I, Mr. J.

* An improv troupe this troper watched a while ago did a game in which two of the three actors could only say lines [[AudienceParticipation given to them by the audience.]] One audience suggestion was "I like pie." For some reason -- I don't even remember the rest of the skit -this came up: -->"What are you, a mathematician?!" -->* shrug* [[IncrediblyLamePun "I like pie!"]] ** ...Five years later, in the middle of school, I suddenly burst out laughing. ''Damn'' it. * This troper's parents absolutely love the show {{Cabaret}}. They used to play the soundtrack in the car all the time when this troper was growing up. Every couple of years or so, her mom would check in to see how many of the jokes she got in ''Wilkommen.' (For the record, the last joke she understood was the "cunning linguist" line. * This troper and her friend were listening to "You'll Find Your Happiness in Rio" from TheProducers while riding in the car one day. At the line, "The tropic breezes always blow there/and so, we hear, do the girls!", said friend, who is rather naive, said, "I don't get that line. Girls don't bl--...''ohhh''." [[/folder]] [[folder:Video Games]] * This troper had a rather... different kind of LateToThePunchline moment while playing KingdomHearts: 358/2 Days. I'd read about a little bit of NightmareFuel in the cutscene right before [[spoiler:Xion's]] boss fight, but I didn't get how [[spoiler: her turning into Sora]] could be considered creepy... until I reached it in my first playthrough. Let me just say that Sora was never, ''ever'' supposed to have a voice that high pitched. Also, this line: [[spoiler: [[CreepyMonotone "You're next, Roxas. I have to make you a part of me too."]] ]] [[NightmareFuel * shudder* ]] * This troper. SonicTheHedgehog. Miles Prower. Miles Per Hour. How did I not see that until I was 21? * This troper did not understand the purpose of the name of the [[{{Mother}} Raeb Yddet]] until looking at the SdrawkcabName page recently. * Facepalm* * After a couple of years of intermittent gameplay, [[Tropers/JET73L I]] was [[RageQuit taking a break from the main game to try]] [[{{Roguelike}} Adventure Mode]] on DwarfFortress, and [[WikiWalk surfing]] [[TheWikiRule the wiki]] [[AttentionDeficitOohShiny after finding the quick reference guide for the controls]]. The Adventure Mode starting guide said not to take on any quests too early, "as you will more than likely have tons of [[PotHole fun]]". As I expected, "fun" was a {{redirect}} to "losing" ([[WideOpenSandbox losing]]=[[VideoGameCrueltyPotential fun]], ergo fun=losing) . Partway down the page, "terminal hissy fit" linked to [[BattleRoyaleWithCheese Rage]] [[KillEmAll Spiral]]... And I laughed. It's not an adventure/sim game with running gags and jokes throughout the game and fandom. ''[[TheBarnum It is the joke]]''. [[ZenSurvivor I like Dwarf Fortress now]]. * ...and now I know why the rivet gun-wielding [[BioShock Big Daddies]] are called

[[http://www.umbc.edu/blogs/changingaging/oldrosie.jpg Rosie]]. * Some time ago, this troper saw this TouhouProject [[http://yuki.kitune.info/hikari/flash/kinoko.html#flashmain flash video]]. I just dismissed it as [[WidgetSeries typical Japanese weirdness]] and found more enjoyment in the [[BrotherChuck PC-98 flashes]] on that site. Just now right before I wrote this, I stumbled across the page for WeeblAndBob with its link to the flash video [[http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/badgers/ Badger Badger Badger (Mushroom Mushroom)]]. Now I know that Touhou can [[{{Crossover}} infect]] [[TheVirus anything]]. ''Anything.'' ** Ah, the wonders of rule (9)... * Oh I get it! He's called [[{{Hamtaro}} Spat]] because he makes couples fight and he [[VerbalTic spits when he talks]]! I played that game years ago and just got that now... * Ohh, the fan nickname for the water starter in Pokmon Black and White, no, not Derp, the other one, "Wotter". In some dialects it's a homonym for water! It makes so much sense now! Sorry, but where I speak, water sounds closer to Warter (without the r being sounded). [[/folder]] [[folder:{{Webcomics}}]] * This troper has only just realised the fairly obvious fact that, in [[http://www.arthurkingoftimeandspace.com/0542.htm this]] ''ArthurKingOfTimeAndSpace'', the discussion about "if an ancient warlord lived today instead of a thousand years ago" is discussing the central concept of the comic itself. * [[CyanideAndHappiness "Hey, Johnson! Working hard or hardly working? Hahaha!" "Actually, I'm looking at porn....so the first one."]] Me, years later: Hahahaha! Working ''hard''!!! I get it! [[/folder]] [[folder:Web Original]] * Ohhh, SFDebris aired his Opinionated Review of the ''Series/DoctorWho'' episode Father's Day...on Father's Day. [[/folder]] [[folder:Western Animation]] * This Troper did not get TheStinger in this episode of PhineasAndFerb [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAMR2EoLxp0]] for several weeks until * that* question came up on a rerun on Tosh.0 * This Troper is 28, and took nearly 15 years to get [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xmAC9Qu908 this]] ''{{Animanciacs}}'' joke. * This Troper got the joke in the climax of ''ToyStory 3'' [[spoiler:the clawwwwww]] right away, but it took 5 days for it to really hit me that it was [[spoiler:the punchline to a 15 year BrickJoke]] * [[LooneyTunes Hen Grenades]]. Hand Grenades. It took [[@/{{Medinoc}} me]] 15 years. To my defense, English is not my native language. * "[[TheLionKing Ed]] the hyena, hmm..., [[OddNameOut Ed]] the... ''[[PrecisionFStrike HOLY SHIT]]!'' ''[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ed_Gein Ed]]'' ''the''

''[[FridgeBrilliance hyena]]!''" ** I was kind of skeptical reading this at first, but given that the film slips in some [[PuttingOnTheReich other dark references]] about it's villains, it's possible. * Oh, okay, that scene in ''Futurama'' where the searchlights shoot down a pilot. [[TheFireflyEffect Of]] [[TooGoodToLast cour]][[ScrewedByTheNetwork se]]! * It took ''years'' for [[Tropers/SilverHeartStar me]] to figure out that ''ToyStory'' was a pun on 'toy store'. [[/folder]] [[folder:Other]] * [[Tropers/{{T-Jack}} This troper]] took an unbelievably long time (from elementary school to college) to figure out the joke about a skeleton that came into a bar and ordered a beer and a swob. He was literally just walking down the street when he finally figured out why he wanted that swob. * This troper, after working in retail, figured out the joke behind the old "Prince Albert In A Can" crank-call gag... [[spoiler: Prince Albert is a brand of pipe tobacco.]] * For the longest time, I thought that "Revenge is a dish BestServedCold" referred to something stupid like how ''cold-blooded'' (or, basically, badass) you were when you finally carried out your revenge. It didn't occur to me until the end of high school, if not sometime in college, that it was referring to waiting until you were ready to serve up the dish of revenge. Which was cold because you waited that long. Duh. * This troper, being Italian, doesn't know much about American pop culture. She often learns some random tidbit of information on the Internet, remembers an old joke she hadn't understood before, and starts laughing with no apparent reason. * For this troper, it was in a fanfic where a short character is offered a calcium pill by a third party. He then tells his lover that he doesn't need a calcium pill to grow big. It took him a year to understand the meaning of that line. * It took this troper ''years'' to get the "seven-eight/ate-nine" joke * True story: This troper was just reading the main page for this trope and thought that the joke about the chicken and the egg (which she got right away, for the record) was especially groan-worthy. When my roommate asked why I was groaning, I told her the joke. Her response: "That's disgusting." She then walked into the bathroom and closed the door. Two seconds later, I hear from the bathroom: "Oh, god, I just got it. That's DISGUSTING!" I laughed. ** Similar thing with me. I read this post. "Hm, I wonder what that joke is?" *Looks up* "Meh" ** Next day, in a room full of people, "NOOOOOO! COME OOOONNN! ** This troper looked up the joke just now and got it almost immediately, but I can guarantee when I tell it to my friends they're gonna have a hard time. * This troper is named after his grandfather, Thomas. Granddad had two brothers, Harry and Richard. 'Dick' is short for Richard. So we have Tom, Dick, and Harry.

* My father supposedly spent the first 25 years of his life with my grandfather routinely saying "Did you know that a cook who cooks carrots and peas in the same pot is unhygienic?" and then laughing, but never explaining the joke, before he finally realised the effect of shifting the emphasis of the spoken phrase had. * This troper had a classmate once whose graduation blurb contained the phrase "Tamara looks forward to many years in various institutions." The great thing about an audience of a thousand people is hearing the laughter grow as more and more people gradually get the joke. * There is a saying, "You'll be late for your own funeral." [[{{Tropers/AFP}} This Troper]] always took that just to mean that the person was always so habitually tardy, that he would simply manage to fail to make it to his own funeral on time somehow. It was maybe 20 years (so from the age of five or sixish to the mid-20s) before I finally realized... when you are dead, you are the ''late'' so-and-so. [[{{Pun}} Late]] for your own funeral. * It took [[Tropers/TeraChimera this troper]] several years to realize what "make love, not war" ''really'' meant. Especially since it originated in the 60's. * This troper only recently got the double meaning of the "If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?" joke. [[/folder]] [[folder:Meta]] * You know that thing on the second "t" in the Tvtropes logo? I'll just let that sink in for a second. * [[Tropers/SilverHeartStar I]] ''just'' got why SubvertedRhymeEveryOccasion is a [[ThisTropeNameReferencesItself selfreferencing title]]. [[/folder]] ---...Oh, I think I get it now; I'm supposed to head back to LateToThePunchline! Why didn't I see it before? ----

LaughingMad * What can I say? I am just a '''[[AxCrazy HAPPY CAMPER]]''' is all! * This basically is what happens whenever I am put in an incredibly uncomfortable situation. Often when my mom and sister start physically hurting one another, all I can do laugh, laugh hysterically. * This troper used to laugh hysterically when he was injured. I was once curb stomped onto the ground. I slowly got up laughing all the while. It was HighOctaneNaightmareFuel for everyone, even me, because I just Couldn't stop laughing. My laugh can basically be described as the Kira laugh, with a smoker's voice and whooping cough. So I sort of seemed like the bastard child of the Joker and Charles Manson. It doesn't help that no one really knows much about me, even my Nakama hasn't figured me out, to be honest, neither did I. * This troper is normally able to hold it together. Occasionally I'll have a bad, tear filled breakdown. There's been a few times where it's

been bad enough to instead leave me in a Joker-esque mood, laughing while thinking about the various ways I can violently murder people (mostly my family). I've also got a bit of this permanently, as when I'm in a bad mood I'll, while not laughing out loud, basically be like that on the inside. * This troper's cycle of anger goes like this: ** Unhappy ** Pissed ** Shouting and screaming ** Quiet, soft laughter ** Insane Joker-type laughter. * This is basically the cycle of every fight this troper and her sister have ever had, with the shouting and screaming often escalating into actual physical violence. The fight will end after one of us makes a semi-witty observation and winding up on the floor laughing our asses off. ** No, no. That's not laughing mad. Laughing mad is when after you kill your sister you have a [[{{HeroicBSOD}} Blue Screen of Death]] moment, and you can only laugh, because that's the only thing you can do to remain sane. Except, by that point... *** Well then what the hell is it? It's not this definition, certainly not EvilLaugh either. I looked on one of the other ones, and it said something about Bipolar, but that's all I reckon. It's likely something, one way or another. *raises eyebrow and cradles chin* * This troper was having a very rough time...she needed money to find a new home, as her roommates were forcing her out of her current one, and would be out in the streets unless she was in a new house by two weeks. After spending the entire week bottling everything in, feeling miserable because no one would let her move in with them without rent money up front, the troper was called to the financial counselor. Turned out, that very day, she had received her scholarship money, used for rent. She spent the next two minutes staring blankly ahead, laughing her head off. * Once this Troper was living a real Hell: I was bullied, depressed, didn't have a single friend and constantly arguing with my mother. Then one day, after having one massive fight again and being harassed in a hallway we got out math tests back and I had failed it. I waited until the lesson passed and then proceeded to laugh maniacally and stare blankly, because the test had been the last straw that broke the camel's back. But fortunately, IGotBetter. / When I get extremely pissed off or start panicking it's usually accomppanied with silent, anxious laughter that isn't loud or theathrical, but it's ''damn creepy''. ** Dear god, this sounds like something from my life as it had been. You have my simpathies :( * This troper apparently does this during her memory-lapsedBerserkerRage-BewareTheNiceOnes moments. Which means, that when I start cackling like the Joker, it means that someone's about to get seriously injured... AND I WON'T REMEMBER DOING IT. (My friends have witnessed this once and tell me it's the single most unnerving thing they've ever seen.) * This troper doesn't remember the events that led up to it, but once

she snapped and started laughing herself silly and looking back on it, is absolutely terrified of herself in that state. * This troper has never had an extremely severe case of this, but she has been known to emit some damn scary psychotic cackles when she just can't take severe frustration from a problem anymore. * This troper has been gaining touches of this more over time. I'm pretty sure RealLife causes SanitySlippage. * [[{{Fishsicles}} This Troper]] just had one of his first attacks of this. He was snickering slightly after playing KaizoMarioWorld's first level (and dying, again and again, on that first trap), but did not burst into laughter until this CompleteMonster math problem (below). After spending an hour or so on Part B, attempting to cancel out the monstrosity known as the unit normal vector... he just spotted a sine squared-cosine squared point in one really messy radical. After everything canceled out to N(t)=(-cos(&#969;t),-sin(&#969;t),0)... {{Laughing Mad}}ness ensued. -->Let a, b, and &#969; be positive constants. Let g(t)=(a cos(&#969;t),a sin(&#969;t,bt). --->a) Find explicitly the arc length parameterization h(s) of the curve. --->b) Find the unit tangent vector and principle normal vectors at an arbitrary point h(s). --->c) Find the curvature &#954;(s). ** The story continues: Another bout of madness when Part C comes out to (a&#969;^2)/(a^2&#969;^2+b^2). * This troper has issues dealing with stress, and has a tendency to just freakout out of seemingly nowhere. The form of the freakout is generally a crapshoot between curling up in a corner shivering and muttering, or hysterical laughter that can't decide if it wants to be giggles or shouts and shifts between them randomly. * This Troper too. I once got really angry at a group of children. After about a few moments of shouting at them into silence and scolding them, still shouting angrily all the time, this troper had a sudden "revelation" of how ridiculous the entire situation was, and began softly giggling. Soon, the giggles became louder, and this troper was reduced into laughing hysterically while everyone watched with wide eyes. Needless to say, it frightened even the naughtiest children into quiet, meek puppets. * This might be kind of a conversation of ADarkerMe in this troper's case. Sometimes, he has this evil side that will come out spontaneously and let out a really big EvilLaugh, usually while doing something to someone that's been annoying him for far too long. Normally used while playing video games. * This troper does this when she loses, and let me tell you, my laugh sounds like the Joker on crack while burning down a puppy orphanage and stabbing a nun. Needless to say, my laugh is so Nightmare Fuel, that I scare myself sometimes. * [[JET73L This troper]] uses a dark "heh, heh heh" on occasion when annoyed, in a sort of "I can't ''believe'' what fools these morons be" way to make the situation seem more meaningless, but once when the troper's mother was being [[InsaneTrollLogic particularly]] [[ObfuscatingStupidity obtuse]], the troper was seconds away from

self-mutilation, destruction of a dresser, or [[BrokeYourArmPunchingOutCthulhu both]], and instead ended up dropping to the floor while laughing madly (and increasingly) and weeping, both at the futility of... well, everything, but [[PoorCommunicationKills certain]] [[CompletelyMissingThePoint aspects]] of that situation in particular. Unpleasant, but the resulting high (from either endorphins or oxygen deprivation) made it possible to finish the conversation. Eventually. * This has become at least a part of each of This Troper's emotional expressions, from amusement to rejection. Why, I'm not entirely sure. * A fairly minor example, compared to the ones on this page. I was playing Harvest Moon: FOMT with the watering can fully upgraded. However, I didn't realize the [=AoE=] you can do with it, so I spent year upon year (I upgraded the can fairly early) watering all my crops seperately until, by chance, I found out about the [=AoE=]. Though the laugh wasn't as insane as really pissed off, it still sounded quite insane. * [[RainehDaze This troper]] reacts in this manner to just about EVERYTHING, whether positive or negative. Since it runs the full range of [[EvilLaugh evil laughs]], it scares people. Lots. Not that it's any different from my NORMAL laugh... * ThisTroper reacted like this after he lost his job, girlfriend, almost his apartment due late bills and was drown in a sea of depression all in the same week. Well ThisTroper remained "calm" so far just to out of nowhere burst laughing like psychotic lunatic in the middle of a crowded street and, almost needless to say, after that ThisTroper was almost put in a psychiatric ward by his friends. ThisTroper almost never stresses out, but when it happens it's either LaughingMad or something like UnstoppableRage. Either way none come with any sign of warn, it simply bursts out of ThisTroper. * This Troper has done this on several (BSOD-type) occasions. I assure you, it's quite unnerving... * This Troper was doing this (although it was more of a chuckle) when he imagined about [[AxCraxy stabbing and slashing]] [[{{Jerkass}} one of my REALLY annoying classmates.]] Then my friend offered me a [[IGotBetter slice of cheesecake.]] * When this troper gets angry, it usually starts out with screaming at the tormentor, then he starts chasing them, with a mix of batshitinsane cackling, swearing a blue streak, snarling like some crazy beast, and just plain screaming. Oh, and as he gets closer to the target, he gets louder and more insane. * This troper has moments where she just laughs while screaming and it's hard for her to even tell which she's doing more. It comes almost out of nowhere but generally happens during psychotic episodes and sometimes will be about something she hears, something that's "happening", or just snap out of nowhere it feels right and it happens. Often after or during this is some very odd behavior. On the other hand... she sometimes manages to just sleep 3 days straight after. * Several months ago, this troper had to take a test which she was pretty sure she'd fail due to not really understanding the material. When it was over, she felt a bit better knowing that it was over and

walked to her next class...to take another test that she'd completely forgotton about from worrying so much about the first one. She spent the first ten minutes of the period with her head down laughing as quietly as she could. * Oh dear deity yes, for this troper. Possessed of a double bass voice with a decent falsetto range, the signature hysterical laughter which sustains itself to ridiculous lengths through the pressures of nervousness and embarrassment - ranges wildly, and with much switching between shrieking peaks and barking lows. Coming from a quiet loner whose only commonly-known personality traits are a liking for violent and morbid humour and the inability to smile anything but a slasher smile... it is, I am told, quite an interesting spectacle, if a little... disconcerting. * So ''that'''s how it's called ! When I'm sad, I'll usually begin to cry... Until I feel every bit of pain disappear, and begin laughing at my own sadness. And when I say "laughing", I mean manical, uncontrollable laughter, much more high-pitched than my normal laugh. And every time I learn new details about [[HumansAreBastards humans being bastards]], such as torture, genocide, etc... I will only laugh madly and desperately. Although it might be a consequence of those JadeColoredGlasses I usually wear... * This troper cries or laughs if she get angry enough, she suppresses cry due to habit and ends up laughing in a... very scary manner. * My friends and I have a bit of a RunningGag about turning into TheJoker. Our college is pretty tough, and it really is kind of scary when someone starts laughing uncontrollably at [[HumorDissonance something that isn't all that funny]] because she's just really stressed out or [[TheInsomniac hasn't been getting enough sleep]]. * For some reason, whenever I'm fighting with someone, I get a horrible case of loud, cackling laughter. It doesn't help that it renders me a shaking mess and won't stop for at least a few minutes once it's started, even if I'm completely enraged and/or in immense pain. On the up side, most people are afraid to fight me now. * This Troper laughs madly when in physical pain, and is actually one step before crying for her. She once got it into her head that she wanted a tattoo that would take four hours to complete. She was alright for the first three, but by the time the artist got to coloring the damn thing, her mind apparently decided she was being tortured and tried to distance itself from the pain. First she started to cry and whine. Then she started to laugh insanely. Then she started rambling incoherently for the next hour or so... [[IGotBetter The tattoo was finished, though, and was worth every bit of pain]], though it did need a touch-up later which wasn't nearly as bad. * Variation: my cousins and I decided to play a prank by getting in an elevator and laughing non stop everytime someone got in there. At first, the person joined us asking what the joke was about, but when we kept on laughing they started to look as us like we were some kind of nutcases and their smiles cracked. That made us laugh even more. * This troper has some...mental strains, so to speak. For instance my only remembered dream in the past 5 years is of a man systematically pulling out his nervous system and unraveling like a knitted jumps. In graphic detail that only a biology student could inflict on

themselves. My laugh sounds like several dubs of Kira's combined. I checked. Believe me on this one, listening to examples of laughs is a pass time of mine. It's primarily the japanese, the french and...you know what let's just say I sound like Kira when I laugh. When I laugh in this manner then it means my usual catatonia has been surpassed and that my own reasoning has disolved. Last time it happened I lost the majority of my memories up to that point. * [[Tropers/SabresEdge This Troper]] recalls at least one 20-mile hike with a few Scouts, on which the trail snaked up and down lots of hills. As in, lots. It was nothing I couldn't handle on my own (being in decently good shape at the time), but the others were starting to complain, and after rounding a corner and seeing ''yet another'' 45degree incline upwards, I broke out into loud cheering accompanied by a psychotic grin. Apparently it was a slightly unnerving experience for those scouts... * For some bizarre reason, I tend to grin or start giggling when really nervous. I'm not really sure why, and I never seem to realize I'm doing it for quite a bit. It's a little weird. Everyone seems to assume it's this trope, especially when, say, somebody's just been hit in the face hard enough to start crying in gym class, while I'm actually worried about them. But.. I'm not really insane, just slightly weird, right? [[SanitySlippage Riight?!]] * My ''cats'' drive me to this constantly. One moment I'll be screaming at him to go away with that toy he keeps dropping on me and the next I'll be laughing and sobbing at the same time. ** Maybe he just wants to play? * Generally happens for this troper when she is up late into the night/morning, running on very little sleep and high amounts of caffeine. Actually laughed like a madman for thirty straight minutes for no reason whatsoever. * I (forget the This Troper nonsense, won't work here) am currently in the process of writing a novel in which the antagonist is completely nuts. I tend to use method writing, where I force myself into sympathy with the character's emotions. I was writing a scene from her [[StartOfDarkness Start of Darkness]] and began to feel dizzy. Anyway, I went back to my dorm, and began to read the character's lines to see if I'd gotten it right. The scene I'd just written ends with a slow laugh, starting with childish giggles and finishing with cackling screams. I started into that part, the dizziness returned, I started laughing...and came within a millimeter of completely losing my mind. Ever since that incident, I've felt like I'm on the edge of [[LaughingMad Laughing Mad.]] This has been going on for two months. ** I Got Better. * [[@/{{Tadaru}} This troper]] [[EpicFail fell into the water]] when trying to cross a rope-swing bridge and (temporarily) broke his camera and soaking everything on him. His response: being upset for a few minutes, and then laughing uncontrollably, then going back to upset. * Occaisionally this troper experiences this with very little stimuli. It isn't that I'm pushed over the edge (I hope), I just can't stop laughing sometimes. ** Ah, just remembered a throughbread example. I broke down one terroble November day and couldn't stop laughing for a distrubingly

long time. * This Tropette once had a paper due the very next day, and her printer just wouldn't print. She'd spent untold hours on this paper and gotten no sleep the night before trying to finish it. It began with her yelling and swearing, then ''screaming'' and swearing. She finally got the printer to work and print double-sided to boot... only to discover that it was printing the other side ''upside down''. Cue Mad Laughter, complete with anguished hair-clutching. * This Troper once had one of the worse days in her entire life in which she lost all sanity for roughly 10 minutes. An ex-boyfriend caused the intense grief, and we had been arguing for months and months on end even when we agreed to remain friends. I was depressed for nearly an entire year because of him. Finally, I sent him a long anger-filled e-mail to dismiss him from my life, in which I proceeded to point out every stupid and hurtful thing he's ever said to me and every single way I could find that he's ever wronged me. At first, I thought I felt nothing, because I was just... so drained from all the effort. Afterwards, however, I went absolutely nuts whilst voicechatting with another friend. And I'm not exaggerating or joking: It was a hellfest of emotions. First, there was crying and screaming. Loud crying and screaming... it just started out of nowhere as I was silent. Then I started laughing. Really loudly and maniacally. For about five minutes. Alternating with the crying and screaming, at the same time. It was the only time in my entire life where it had happened, and the friend and I agreed that it was absolutely ''scary.'' * This happened to me only once in my life, but it could happen again, [[{{understatement}} I don't take any form of raised voices well]] if they're used in a threatening tone, so following an arguement involving my parents, I began to laugh and cry hysterically at the same time before just falling completely silent for about an hour, when my mom finally walked up to me, instead of saying anything or reassuring her, I just burst into the most twisted-sounding psychopathic laugh she'd ever heard...did I mention our family business is ''a haunted house?'' I can't remember it, but if it can scare someone who works with psychopathic laughter on a seasonal basis...yeah. * Ever since I was young, I had a way of laughing or smiling uncontrollably when I was confronted with bad news. I also laugh when I get panic attacks. My parents thought I was sick in the head when they saw me laughing after my cat died, but I was actually very sad. I also laugh when I see scary and disturbing things, but that's [[{{Nightmare Fetishist}} something else...]] * I've had a lot of various roller coaster twists in my life, and for the most part I've reacted just as you would expect for all them... but occasionally? My brain decides to give me a step back and I just start laughing. At it all. Everything I've gone through in my life runs through my mind, and it's just... funny. How all of it happened to me. And I laugh, and laugh, and laugh. No idea why, because a lot of it is horrible, but I can never help it. * This troper's cat brought a live mouse into the house tonight, and somehow it got into this troper's room. Her father set a trap for it in the closet, where the mouse had scurried off to. This troper wasn't

TOO affected by this, but then she heard a ''snap'' and some painful squeaking She's been giggling hysterically for nearly twenty minutes now. * This Troper has THE Joker laugh and bad anger problems to boot. When I get mad at someone I just start laughing hysterically until someone brings me back down to Earth. My friends now have a routine where one of them takes me aside and asks me if I need to go back to Arkham. On a completely different note, I sprained my ankle WALKING on the carpet and it hurt so bad I just laughed, and every time I stepped on it, I laughed. ---I'm sorry, Troper, but your entire family died in a fire just after your parents cut you out of their will. * [[LaughingMad AHAHAHAHAHAHA!]] ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LauncherOfAThousandShips You all probably have that ''one'' character that, for [[RuleThirtyFour some unexplained reason]], you will 'ship [[LauncherOfAThousandShips with anyone]], even if you have to cross universes to do so. Describe them here. ---* [[Tropers/TromboneChild This troper]] 'ships [[Series/{{Heroes}} Claude Rains]] with just about everyone, inside ''and'' [[CrossoverShip outside]] of his own fandom. He was only in about five episodes, but he fascinates me! * This troper will ship Ryuk from Death Note with just about anyone else. OK, on second thought, only... six or seven other characters. Yeah, that sounds about right. This is excluding crossovers, 'cause those [[HypocriticalHumor make no sense at all.]] ** Oh, and more recently, [[WolfsRain Lord Darcia.]] Um, yeah... * [[Tropers/{{Leradny}} This troper]] favors Squall Leonhart, especially in Kingdom Hearts where he's older ''and'' in a multicrossover. * It wasn't intentional, but This Troper (yes, ''[[Tropers/{{TMOH}} that]]'' one) can officially read FanFic pairing [[{{Discworld}} Carcer]] with anyone, just because he's in it. Such is the fate of the SingleTargetSexuality FanGirl. * This troper, for some doubly inexplicably reason because I haven't actually played her original game (yet), ships [[FinalFantasyVII Aerith Gainsborough]] with just about everyone ''but'' Cloud. Mostly I like [[OfficialCouple her and Zack]], but the list of other pairings involving her that I've found cute include: [[KingdomHearts Aerith/Leon]], [[KingdomHearts Aerith]]/[[AnsemRetort Axel]] (just the idea of the pairing since it's PlayedForLaughs), [[LesYay Aerith/Tifa]], [[FoeYay Aerith/Kadaj]], and if anyone has any other ideas, I'd probably like it. I don't know why other characters I love, such as Tifa, don't get the same treatment. * [[StarTrekTheOriginalSeries Kirk]]. Just Kirk.

* [[Tropers/{{ryttu3k}} This troper]] ships Sheik (yes, really) from [[TheLegendOfZelda Legend of Zelda]] with Link, Zelda, Dark Link, Dark Sheik (what? If Link can do it...), Twilight Princess Link, Midna, the Hero's Shade (who probably is Link from Ocarina of Time, let's face it), girl!Brawl!Sheik, occasionally Malon, Ianto Jones from [[{{Torchwood}} Torchwood]], and probably a few others. ** And let's add Byrne from Spirit Tracks. It's a mask thing. ** Update! Add in the Medicine Seller from {{Mononoke}}. * [[Tropers/SaraJaye This troper]] ships Jun from ''{{Gatchaman}}'' with Ken, Joe ''and'' Ryu with the occasional side of Jun/Katse crack. I also have quite a few from the ''FireEmblem'' series, most notably Lyn and Serra from Rekka. * Tropers/AcrossTheStars will read fic involving the reboot!Captain Pike and anyone else in the fandom. * [[Tropers/{{MiraShio}} This troper]] was ''the'' LittleBlackDress during grade school. * This troper will ship [[{{Naruto}} Sasuke Uchiha]] with anyone, in any fandom. [[{{TengenToppaGurrenLagann}} Leeron]]? Done. [[{{SilentHill}} Pyramid Head]]? Done. [[{{Naruto}} Rock Lee]]? OTP, along with Minato Namikaze, Kiba and Juugo. As for het pairings, [[{{FatalFrame}} Sae]], [[{{FirstEncounterAssaultRecon}} Alma]], [[{{BlackLagoon}} the Vampire Twins]], and Karin or Temari. * [[{{TheNightmareBeforeChristmas}} Jack Skellington]] is this troper's LittleBlackDress. [[{{OfficialCouple}} Sally]]? Yep. [[{{CorpseBride}} Emily]]? Done. [[{{HoYay}} Victor]]? Affirmative. [[{{CrossoverShip}} Ariel]]? Yeah baby! SpongeBob [[{{CrackPairing}} SquarePants]]? [[{{EvilLaugh}} Mwhahahahahahahaha]]! [[{{TheFourthWallWillNotProtectYou}} Now Jack wants to kill me]]. ** Also, this troper's sister recently make Jack into a MemeticMolester. After the movie, Jack was charged with one count of kidnapping . . . [[{{RapeAsComedy}} and 53 counts of rape]]. Let's see . . . Jack, [[{{LoveInterest}} Sally]], [[{{EvillyAffable}} Oogie Boogie]], and [[{{EnfantTerrible}} Lock, Shock, and Barrel]] all gangraped SantaClaus ([[{{NoJustNo}} The]] [[{{Squick}} mental]] [[{{BrainBleach}} picture]]!) And Jack raped HarryPotter, SpongeBob, [[{{KingdomHearts}} Sora]], [[{{CorpseBride}} Victor]] . . . oh, and Jack was raped himself by [[{{HarryPotter}} Lord Voldemort]]. Yeeeeeeaaaaaaaah, [[{{Understatement}} we're a bit morbid-minded]]. * Tropers/{{Blackmoon}} is the [[TVTropesForum local]] Little Black Dress. Not that he minds. * This Tropette's LittleBlackDress is [[TeamFortress2 Medic]]. [[ColdSniper Sniper?]] Done. [[{{Jerkass}} Scout?]] Affirmative. [[TuxedoandMartini Spy?]] Heck yes! [[DrillSergeantNasty Soldier?]] Have you ''never'' read Blast Assit? [[HuskyRusskie Heavy?]] [[{{OTP}} Yes, please!]] ** It's [[TheFaceless Pyro]] for this troper, mainly because [[AmbiguousGender (s)he]] can play any role required. * [[Tropers/SerenitySquid This troper]] ships [[{{Hellsing}} Alucard]] and [[StarTrekTheOriginalSeries Captain Kirk]] with [[CargoShip everything]] and [[CrackPairing every]][[CrossoverShip one]]. [[CrazyAwesome Including each other]]. * For [[Tropers/{{ZetsUboa}} this troper]], [[{{Hellsing}} Rip van

Winkle]]. Name any character in that series, and chances are that I ship her with them. Schrodinger, Hans, Zorin, Integra, Seras, Alucard, Jan, Luke, Alhambra, Major, Anderson, Heinkel, Walter, Yumie, Doktor...you get the point. * This is the modus operandi for this Troper when she starts looking at ships in a fandom. Usually, a few preferred ships will be promoted to Flagships, but there will never be one absolute OTP. * [[Tropers/{{Krieg}} This troper]] recently realized he holds this sort of position within his {{Nakama}}, though it seems to have settled into something akin to the TenchiSolution. * This Troper has seen [[{{Peanuts}} Schroeder]] paired up with Lucy, Frieda, Sally, Charlie Brown and Linus at various points in her life. She and her friend joked about how he was a [[LauncherOfAThousandShips Little Black Dress]] and made joke pairings that paired him up with: Peppermint Patty, Marcie, Snoopy, Woodstock, The Toy Piano and wait for it... Snoopy's doghouse. ** Toy Piano/Schroeder is canon. * This Troper once read an amazing [[AxisPowersHetalia Prussia]]/ [[CodeGeass Leoloulch]] fic. And that sent me down the path of Prussia Shipping. Pity I can't find the fic anywhere anymore... :C * [[{{Tropers/Lurkerbunny}} This troper's]] ship-launcher is (you guessed it) RobinWilliams. No, not just [[MorkAndMindy Mork]], not just [[{{Disney/Aladdin}} Genie]], Robin. [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} My strange mind]] has shipped him with nearly everyone (real or fictional)[[hottip:* :except for [[IncestIsRelative family members]], of course. I may be a Cloudcuckoolander but I'm no sicko!]]. Pam Dawber? Best [[ActorShipping actor ship]] ever! Billy Crystal? Hey, they've been {{Ho Yay}}-ing it up since TheEighties! AndyKaufman? For the lulz. [[ScrewYourself Mork?]] Well, they did meet in an episode! [[TinyToonAdventures Babs Bunny?]] Hey, there was that episode with [[NoCelebritiesWereHarmed "Robin Killems"]]. [[FamilyGuy Meg Griffin]]? They both currently share ButtMonkey status, they could bond over that! [[CargoShip His bicycles? Hey, he's got a whole harem of them!]] [[hottip:** :And if anyone is currently looking up men in white coats in the phone book so they can take me away, please don't. I don't take this seriously, I only do it for fun! Oh, and Robin, if you are reading this, that goes for you too.]] * [[DracoInLeatherPants Draco]] [[HarryPotter Malfoy]]. But it has to be [[HoYay slash]]. * [[BuffyTheVampireSlayer Faith]]. I don't even like her all that much, but the porn is always hot. * I ship [[AxisPowersHetalia Hungary]] and [[FullmetalAlchemist Winry]] (to a lesser extent) with EVERYONE. Heck, I pair them with ''each other''. * I ship [[KidIcarus Pit]] with anyone. The fact that it's because of LivejournalRoleplay may help. * ...I'm sorry, [[{{Disgaea2}} Adell]].I really am.But I still love you with [[HighlyVisibleNinja Yukimaru, Fubuki]],[[UnknownRival Axel]],[[LittleMissBadass Etna]],[[LoveFreak Flonne]],[[ChewToy Almaz]](thanks to an AU fanfic),and maybe [[{{Jerkass}} Laharl]].You [[{{Canon}} already]] [[{{Fanboy}} love]] [[MoeMoe Pleinair]].[[CrossoverShip Aaa]][[{{OTP}} and]] [[HunterXHunter

Kurapika]].And I hate [[{{Tsundere}} Roza]][[OfficialCouple lin]].I'm sorry. ** HOW COULD I FORGET [[ButtMonkey ASAGI]]?!I am ashamed of myself. * Though I don't exactly ship him, reading through quite a few PowerRangers fanfiction has given me the fanon belief that Adam Park is bisexual and that at one time he was (or still is) involved with Rocky, with Aisha possibly tossed in there for the ride as well. I never realized how ''shippable'' he was before. He can go along fine with ''anybody''. Strangely enough, I never pin anybody as gay unless it's explicitly stated to be so. Huh. Must be his shy, sweet persona. * ....Saphira of DragonFable. Hidan of Naruto Shippuden. No, I don't know why. Damn hot though! * [[KingdomHearts Namine]]. Probably because pretty much any Namine pairing has some degree of plausibility. (My favorite, however, is Axel/Namine.) * This YuriFangirl ships [[OnePiece Nami]] with any girl, and is currently writing a [[FinalFantasyXIII Light]]X Nami fic. Sure, it's an epic plot, but half the motivation comes from the squee produced by this pairing. * [[{{Tropers/Shinykins}} This troper]] ships [[{{Vocaloid}} Meiko and Gumi]] with pretty much every other Vocaloid, if she can find good reason, and occasionally even if she can't. * I ship Kurt with any boy in the {{Glee}} fandom. * [[ActionGirl Tasha Yar]], had she not left ''StarTrekTheNextGeneration'' [[WeHardlyKnewYe so soon]], would've been a great example of this trope. Besides [[RoboShip Tasha/Data]], we might've had Tasha/Worf, Tasha/Geordi, Tasha/Riker, [[MayDecemberRomance Tasha/Picard]] and [[LesYay Tasha/Troi]]. * [[Tropers/SizeXS This troper]] ships [[HarryPotter Snape]] with anybody who she even ''remotely'' likes, whether in-universe or from other universes. Including herself. Which is weird because she's usually very anti-yaoi. * [[Tropers/BardicFire This Tropers]] launcher is [[AxisPowersHetalia France]] (at least with that series) which funnily enough is kinda canon. at least in the sense the France has flirted with just about everyone in the series XD. * Despite [[AvatarTheLastAirbender Maiko]] being my OTP, I enthusiastically ship Zuko with four other people: [[GirlOfTheWeek Jin]], [[{{Bromance}} Sokka]], [[FoeYay Jet]] (art only, I don't like Jetko fics), and [[CrackPairing Lt. Jee.]] No other Avatar gets shipped so much by me. * [[XMenEvolution Kitty Pryde]], at least with all the other male students, and sometimes with Rogue or Jubilee. Also, for obvious reasons, Jamie "Multiple Kid" Madrox gets this treatment with the females, if only because it's just so easy to [[JustifiedTrope justify]]. * Sometimes I feel like this IRL. ---Go ahead and imagine yourself hooking up with the LauncherOfAThousandShips. Someone's imagined them hooking up with ''everyone'' else. ----

<<|TroperTales|>>

LawOfAlienNames * My rule, take first three letters of CompleteMonster; Fre- then end name of a protagonist. frellin. next, japanese weird word for family (if there is) name; Frellin Reezaa. PWNKILL! * [[Tropers/ManCalledTrue This troper]] has in his roleplay a race of [[Main/TheWatcher observer aliens]] who follow a rule of "three twoletter words, none that can be pronounced" - one example being Cl Jt Zw. However, he also subverted it with his race of spider-like aliens - their names are heavy on harsh letters, examples being Zakutuox and Harukeyk (they have fangs that are used in their language), but they're an incredibly peaceful race. And one of the chief ones is Panna. * This troper's alien antagonists in the books he's writing use a three syllable system, separated by apostrophes. One of the characters is Grun'Brum'mith, Grun being the given name, Brum being a rank (comperable to General), and mith being a family name. This is strictly limited to those in the military though. The ruler is named [=SarSar=] (Which is not the ruler's given name. "Sar" is their word for "strong", so it translates "Strong beyond Strong". Stalin was a big inspiration for that character.). There is a bit of a subversion with that one too, but that is my secret for now. * Generally when [[Tropers/{{Nomic}} this troper]] comes up with alien names, he starts with a word or phrase that sounds somwhat alien, and the modifies untill is sounds like an alien name. For aliens that are more than just one-shot background characters he makes some rules for the names to follow. For example one of the characters in a story he's writing is from an alien race whose names follow the same pattern as western names (ie. birthname, surname) and they have a two-part first name and a last name that ends in a double consonant (for example the character's name is Sha-rell D'arann), while another alien race has names with no wovels at all, like Ptrr (it's easier to pronounce with a beak-like articulator). *** I'd say many languages don't have "wovels." ** The above troper also has a system for demon names for his planned webcomic (demons in his other stories tend to use the same system too, or the tried and tested "bang head on keyboard and see what you get" method). In this case all names mean something in the demonic language (the vocabulary of which this troper has created based on ''{{Warhammer}}'' and ''{{Warcraft}}'' demon names and phrases). Last names are reserved for demon lords and their relatives and are similar to titles of noblemen (for example "il Ered'nash" which means "of (the) Burning Blade", which is the sign of this particular group of demons). The first name is usually a word or phrase that is usually intended to sound threathening, for example Zarangora, which translates into "Soul Tormentress" (the a in the end signifies feminine name, male version would be Zarangor). Demon lords usually adopt a new first name that is connected to their last name, for example Maladath il Ered'nash, (Guardian of the Burning Blade) or Romankhis il U'ramas (Lord of the Skull Citadel). Demons may also gain

additional names, usually based on a particular deed or attribute. This can be a great honor (if the name is for example based on the demon's battle proveness or fearsome appearance) or an embarassment (if the name is an insult). * [[Tropers/WoolieWool This Troper]] gave each of the different species in his universe a different character to their dominant language. The Akisans get the typical soft names like "Talililo" or "Aegavorn". The Gri Sla all have names composed of one or more monosyllables (the Gri Sla vocal tract is incapable of pronouncing syllables without a pause between each one. Thus many humans in this universe say that Gri Sla sound like barking dogs). The Gralach love gutturals and have some ''really'' weird ones (like the consonant cluster "HH" for an inhaling guttural that sounds like a human snoring. Try pronouncing "Ghorn Hhalvach" five times fast). The Zraluk have vaguely Germanic sounding names. The Kizomir use the letters I and Z a lot and have extremely high-pitched, shrill voices. The names don't necessarily reflect traditional stereotypes--Akisans are galactic [[TheChessmaster Chessmasters]] who use other races to their advantage, while the Kizomir were the only democracy in the galaxy (until the [[HumansAreBastards United Terran Republic]] killed most of them). Also, these are the ''dominant'' languages of each race. They all have other languages (like the Akisan Dulk-sha language, which cannot be replicated by a human without spitting everywhere). * This troper so far has created three aliens from Saturn who avert this trope. Hachiira, Prometheus, and Pandora. The former having a Japanese sounding name, the latter named after two moons of Saturn. * This troper just finds a weird, foreign-ish name and switches up the letters. Yeah. * This troper's first language is french but she prefers englishsoundind names. She uses french words, change some letters (while avoiding using the annoying [[XtremeKoolLetterz Xtreme Kool Letterz]]), and then pronounce them in an english-sounding way. Or take english words and makes them look like french names. My favorite one so far probably is Azhele. Doesn't sound exotic enough? Hey, it's just a translation anyway. It's not like most of my alien species could communicate the same way as humans without proper translators. And I don't get annoyed with overly complicated, weird-sounding names... * Inverted with this troper ({{@/Unhari}}) - he tries to give his characters diverse, interesting names: Zar'k'ral, Tyraxidor, Adrianna, Vice, Vulcan, Perseus, Moreweanna, Sophia, Sierra, Railea, and Astor. ---Back to Main/LawOfAlienNames, Gamar. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LawOfInverseFertility * Adopted! * Subverted by MegaLan's parents. The father had a vasectomy after

This Troper's birth, making children impossible. They wanted child, they got a dog instead. The dogs are treated more like babies than babies are, and they're all older than This Troper's stepmother in dog years. * This Troper's aunt conceived but lost the baby a few years ago. The belief was that she would never be able to be pregnant again. So they set up the house for foster care, spoke with child services, were all ready to adopt. Given it's on this page, three guesses what happened next. * Averted by an extra check to make sure the vasectomy worked. The doctor-recommended check had turned out happily fertility-free, but my natural alignment of cautiously pessimistic made me get another check a while later. The message left by the doctor said it would've been a good weekend to go to Vegas, with those kinds of odds. * This troper's parents wanted a baby really badly, but had trouble because her mom was in her late 30's at the time. Just when they were about to give up, this troper was conceived. * This troper knows a couple who have had miscarriage after miscarriage. Poor girl... * This troper knows such a couple as well, but after about 14 years they finally had a baby girl. Thank God... * You could be describing my parents. They tried for over a decade to have a baby, suffering a stillbirth and a miscarriage at the very least and eventually resorting to IVF, which worked on their second attempt. This was in the late 80's only a few years after the first one, Louise Brown, was born. My parents tried once more when I was two and failed again; therefore I remain their only child. ** Are you me? * [[DesertDragon This editor]] had a friend of a friend who got his girlfriend pregnant despite using both a condom and spermicidal lube. After all that, the girl ended up keeping the baby. ** Just wondering did the baby look like him? *** Original Poster: That's one question I regret not asking, since it didn't occur to me until a week later. * This trope played itself out in a weird way in my family. I was born about a year and a half after my parents got maried. Dad was still in Grad-school and he and mom were working two jobs to make ends meet. After the IT boom, my parents tried again for several years to have another kid, including various fertility treatments. After nothing worked, they gave up, only to have my little brother show up a year later. * [[{{Valbinooo}} My]] boyfriend is the result of this. His dad used a condom and his mom was on birth control, and I guess some sperm was bound and determined to get him into existence. And man oh man am I glad of that <3 ** My boyfriend was a Houdini too! I love him to death! * BTIsaac is living proof that this trope is TruthInTelevision. As things stand, his parents desperately wanted a child, for over ten years, and nothing happened. He wasn't born until after they've accepted that they may grow old without having any kids. Then in two years, came his sister. * {{Peteman}}'s aunt tried for years to conceive, but ended up

adopting. Soon afterward, she conceived. * Describes both this troper's grandparents (who ended up adopting her mother) '''and''' this troper's parents (who had an "oopsie" baby). * When I was in my early teens, my parents tried over and over to get my mom pregnant again (they wanted more children). Eventually the doctors told her that due to complications from her last pregnancy, she was effectively infertile. So they eventually ended up adopting a two-year-old. Literally two months '''''to the day''''' after the adoption our family found out that...whoops! Turns out ''effectively'' infertile doesn't mean ''100%'' infertile. * This troper's parents were married for ''ten years'' without having a live baby--they had an awful time getting pregnant, and suffered at least two miscarriages. Eventually they decided they couldn't get pregnant, and started looking into adoption. Suddenly, with both parents in their mid-thirties and with the horrible odds described above, this troper apparently decided she ''really'' wanted to be born. Ironically, she required thirty-six hours and a C-section to get out at the end of the pregnancy. ---Let's go back to LawOfInverseFertility, and try again. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LeagueOfLegends * This troper wishes he could draw art, so he could draw a picture of Teemo running through a field of shrooms going "AAAAIIEEE!!!" while Karma, Garen, and Blitzcrank follow yelling "COME BACK HERE YOU LITTLE RAT!!" It was a CrowningMomentOfAwesome for me because I had quite literally carried the team and had no deaths...heck I took out a ''third'' of Heimerdinger's health with one shroom. And yes, creating a mushroom maze is a tactic I love to use with Teemo, same with Machine Gun Teemo. * Playing as Karthus, enemy team is rushing straight down mid. I turn on my AOE, flash into them, drop bombs, score a quad kill by myself. I was pretty satisfied. * Once as Sona, me and a Garen were running down the bottom lane from the entire enemy team, the rest of my team right next to us in jungle. One well placed Crescendo and the enemy team was massacred. ** I did something like that once. I'm Sona, and Nocturne decides to backdoor them and take out one of the inhibitors. Naturally I go and heal him, so Nocturne single-handedly drops 4 buildings (Two turrets, two inhibitors) and then Master Yi comes over to kill us. Nocturne kills him but he has a Guardian Angel. I literally have Crescendo aimed ''right'' at him and the second he comes up, starts dancing and gets slaughtered by Nocturne. Good thing I was playing with a team who wasn't like "omg Sona you have more deaths than kills u nub", as Sona is a support champion who's not really supposed to be scoring kills. * Kennen once got killed. --> [All] '''[=LeBlanc=]''': Oh my god! [[SouthPark You killed Kennen! You bastard!]]

* The score is 14-45 in the favor of the enemies. One of our team has already left. But somehow, the team manages to push back for a victory through one of the greatest feats of backdooring I've seen. * This Troper once was in a losing battle using Trundle (a ''troll''), the other team started heading to Baron in an effort to end the game quickly. So our team headed there and a team fight broke out, noticing Baron was nearly dead, he ran at him and wailed away in hopes he would steal the Baron Buff. [[CrazyEnoughToWork It worked]], he died, but after that, the other team was in disarray and we clenched victory not soon after. It has NEVER tasted so sweet. This Troper's friend once said the only thing this scene was missing was MODOK's Theme * I will never forget this. We were losing a game, and the enemy team was MIA. Our Jax decides to head up and check Baron. Seeing them at Baron, he waits until he can get the last hit. Jax not only steals Baron, but also ''kills the entire enemy team on his own''. He barely dropped below half health. He was the best Jax ever. * This troper encountered a bit of StopHavingFunGuys / [[FunWithAcronyms DotAssholes]] as he calls them. Basically, here's how to play according to them: ** If a champion is listed as "easy", you're not allowed to play them. *** Especially don't play as Annie or Master Yi. *** [[FridgeLogic But they're marked as "medium"...]] *** Master Yi's medium now? When did this happen? And I'd assume maybe Annie isn't "allowed" because she's a SkillGateCharacter. ** You are not allowed to play Sona or Soraka. Support champion = Karma or GTFO ** If Nidalee EVER heals herself, then she is a selfish bitch who deserves to be reported. ** You are not allowed to play Teemo. ** You are not allowed to play Poppy because she's a noob char. ** No Evelynns allowed. ** If you jungle, you are not allowed to do so as Warwick or Nunu. You may also not Jungle as Shaco, either. ** How ''DARE'' you give Jax a Gunblade?! Noob! Report him. *** [[DidNotDoTheResearch Funny that, because an effective Tank Jax build calls for you to buy TWO gunblades.]] And the hybrid-assassin build that [[{{@/Anomaly188}} this troper]] mains calls for at least one gunblade for lifesteal, AD, and AP. *** I know, right? They sound like those people on ''GuildWars'' who claim you're not allowed to follow a build from a site. ** If Caitlyn ever has one point in Yordle Snap Trap at any time before late game she is a feeder. ** You must have THE EXACT skills period. ** You are not allowed to teleport back to heal, under NO circumstances should you ever do that.

LearntEnglishFromWatchingTelevision * This troper learnt a majority of his English grammar and vocabulary from the internet. * Inverted for this troper, since she has learned some Japanese

phrases and words from watching anime and reading manga. ** You are most definitely not alone there. ** Same here. * For this troper, it was TV and also video games and web forums. Unfortunately, there are a couple of side effects: a) He has difficulty following a real conversation. and b) He is more prone to cursing when talking/typing in English that he is when talking/typing Spanish. * Thanks to "The Price is Right", [[@/TropingHatman This Troper]]'s first English word was "microwave", said a bit after his first mother language word. * While visiting Israel, this troper asked an Israeli teen how it is that they were all fluent in English, while most Americans (and Brits) barely speak any other languages. This trope was the answer. * This is how I learned English. I stumbled upon the British CartoonNetwork at the age of 3 and didn't stop watching it until the local TV listings canceled it 6 years later. Then, I switched to a German cartoon channel, and learned that language too within a couple of years.

LeastRhymableWord * So, did no one else ever consider "porridge"?[[hottip: :Or failing that, [[TheInternetIsForPorn porn]][=age=]?]] ** Incorrige/able. Forage. In fact, really, "I forage for my daily porridge." And adding -age to a random word is cheating in and of itself, so bornage, cornage, {{gorn}}age... ** One doesn't forage for porridge, but one may forage for ''borage'' to put in one's porridge. (It's a herb.) * "''Self''". It only rhymes with "shelf" and-- wait for it-[[IncrediblyLamePun itself]]. ** What about "elf," like in ''{{The Night Before Christmas}}''? ** Piers Anthony also rhymed it with "pelf," a somewhat superannuated word meaning booty (in the pirate sense, not the Jennifer Lopez sense) ** [[LordOfTheRings Dwarrowdelf]]. * This troper's old university friend Lee Gorringe would probably have a lot to say about this trope. * This troper wrote a pantomime containing a song to the tune of the Major-General's song. One couplet: -->I'll rhyme with any word you like, from "month" to "praseodymium", -->Though Sullivan and Gilbert would have called me crazy, I'd stymie 'em! * Purple? * I asked my friend (who is a bit of a poet) whether there is anything that rhymes with orange. There is -- sporange... it's something to do with plants, I think. ** Door hinge. * "Precious". This one occurred to me this morning and has been driving me insane ever since. ** It is capricious to say that the only obvious rhyme is 'delicious'. In fact, that would be a malicious, pernicious, and atrocious calumny. ** ...Those only rhyme with "precious" in dialects that merge short

"e" and short "i", which is very few. *** "Ashes"? It sounds about right... * "Calumny". Oops. * I'll pay anyone who can find a word that rhymes fully with 'penguin'. Sanguine does not count. * Google is your friend here. [[spoiler: BTW, it rhymes with [[FinalFantasy Moogle.]] ]] ---Head back to {{Least Rhymable Word}}nge. <<|TroperTales|>>

LeaveHimToMe * [[@/DeltaOne This Troper]] had a [=DnD=] character who had, as part of his pirate code, the rule that saying, "Leave him, he's mine!" was code for "Everybody charge this guy!". Given that he was a pirate captain, with a crew full of obedient minions, this usually worked quite well. * I do this in SSB. If they other players don't, I MAKE THEM! * Whenever this troper and her brother play double-player on Halo, I always do this while he goes off and does the technical stuff. It's just more fun that way. * This troper's Larp character has this against the current mid-high point big bad, your standard evil overlord of a town that appeared from the badlands. Said big bad made the mistake of abducting my character's not-girlfriend and [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial Certainly not bodyguard crush]] for an enforced wedding, purely because she's the encumbant right hand of the system's fire god. My character has spent months running recon, weaponising the [[Firefly Reaver plague]] and aquiring equipment, learning the most refined poisons, learning how to use virtually every weapon in the system, trapmaking, anatomy, torture and even going as far as to kill, skin, cannibalise and wear the skin of of the big bad's head of security, including a mask made from his face. I also managed to essentially whore the character out to the new summer court queen (titania and Mab are both in a long slumber, their daughters have taken over) for magical equipment, have offered his immortal soul to the highest bidder in return for aid (I've already predetermined that it will be the Chaos gods) and even made a signet ring with the highest rank of raise dead (which requires a living sacrifice and raises beings such as Liches, nighindestructible body vampires and the like.). I've set plans for a terror campaign on the big bad's village and fully expect to end up dying. But I will rescue my friend and He.Will.Die. ----

LeeroyJenkins * This troper once pulled one of these while playing manhunt (team tag in the dark) my teamates were formulating a complex plan when I got fed up, so I told them to run, grabbed a handy pot and spoon (we were

camping) and banged them together, everyone on the other team chased me, and everyone on my team made it to the base (including me!) * [[@/{{Essex}} This Troper]] suffered from a case of LeeroyJenkins when I started playing ''TearsToTiara''. I got killed in the ''first'' battle ''twice'' before I started [[TheChessmaster thinking tactically]]. * When playing Doom, this troper sometimes pulls off a Leeroy, for the added risk of being in an imprevisible situation. ** Doom is always a Leeroy for me. ** Soon as I can find my old copy of DOOM II, I've got to give that a try! * This troper is pretty much a Leeroy in any FPS, rail shooter, or 3PS that she plays. * At one point while playing CastleVania: Judgement, I was playing as Death fighting Time Death, and I was beaten several times, so, when he was spamming the super attack, I just said "Screw it. LEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOY JENKINS!". * In any shooting game [[@/GamerChick this tropette]] has played at least once, she will simply go in all guns blazing. Much more fun. ** Are you me? =) * [[{{Tropers.YouMustDie}} This troper]], IN RealLife. YES, THAT'S RIGHT. Although, I haven't died yet... * Gets this troper killed quite often in every video game she's played, but once at a movie theater, someone shouted "LEEEEROOOOOOOOOOY JEEEEENKIIIIIIINSSSS" from the back of the theater...that was pretty weird. * This troper's game tactics are all the same: rush in, kill people, and try not to die. I fail at the last part. * In ''[[GaiaOnline zOMG!]]'', I sometimes get bored enough to do a Leeroy on purpose. People generally find it amusing as long as I'm not crewing with them or anything. ** Speaking of zOMG!, this troper frequently finds himself pulling Leeroys ''entirely by accident''. Enemy targeted from a distance? No problem, I'll just reel the little bastard in with Sunrays (eighth ring) and let my crew mates... wait a minute, I'm running over to it and attacking with Hack. Right in the midst of all its buddies. Hoo boy, bad time to press 5 instead of 8... * [[@/{{mehayo}} This troper]] DM'd a DungeonsAndDragons campaign where we convinced a character to name himself Scorpious "Leroy" Jenkins. After the first few sessions of combat, he switched to crossbow full time. * Maybe doing this in Metal Gear Solid isn't so nice, but it sure is fun. * More than once, I have shouted this out in appropriate situations. Also, if I get bored with a strategy game, I'll just do the all-gunsblazing-no-holds-barred approach for whatever game it may be. * Had this happen in the CWK Grandmaster fight in MapleStory once. Background knowledge: The accepted strategy for the fight (consisting of four bosses, one on an elevated platform and the other three below) is to have someone lure the bottom three bosses to a corner while everyone kills off the boss on the platform, then send over the other

three bosses to the other corner one at a time. Essentially divide and conquer. Problem is, the lurer can only do his job efficiently if nobody else is attacking the three bosses, and at that time there were a few people who apparently didn't get the strategy in their head and went all over the place. And since the bosses work exceedingly well when they're together, tombstones soon began to follow... * In [=TF2=], people do not seem to expect a fleeing Medic to make an instant 180 and rush straight back with the bonesaw leading the way. This troper has caught more than a few pursuing Pyros and Demomen with this tactic. It's also very therapeutic to jump in a crowd with the fire axe in hand and hope for a lucky crit. * Happens too often in ''Left4Dead''. They are the guys who think running ahead as fast as you can is the way to play, or that they can take on any Witch they encounter. They're also the ones who will always throw a bad molotov that severely hurts the rest of the team. Leeroy Jenkins players in this game are usually dealt with by letting the player be punished for their idiocity (or they will shoot the guy themselves) and then vote them off. This troper and his friends once had a little girl on the team and she would try to kill every Witch we saw. [[HilarityEnsues Fun times rolled around when she tried to kill a Witch with a friggin' Uzi]]. ** I managed to have two different types of Leeroy in my first round of ''{{Left 4 Dead}} 2'', namely the guy who tried to sprint past all the zombies without engaging them and the guy who rushed ahead of the group. The second one was apparently just new and didn't know to stick together, the first one was an idiot. * Normally, this troper does this when important [=NPCs=] that he's come to like die. It normally gets him killed. * This troper pulled a rather amusing one when she was in a rp, deliberately having her character (Leon's his name) going up against a sorcerer when he's basically magic fodder. How fun that was. >D * [[@/MalachiteDragon This troper]] did this quite literally 5 minutes ago while playing F.E.A.R 2. And it would've worked, too, if that damn Replica soldier with the friggin' Laser hadn't popped out from those double doors... * This Troper plays a variant of Capture the Flag called Capture the Flag with Stuff, in which the titular "stuff" consists of various items that affect the game (wands, potions, and belts.) One belt, Andy Warhol's Belt of Pop Occultism, allows the user to stun all members of the other team in the area for sixty seconds. The activation phrase? "LEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYY JEEEEEEEEEENKKKKKIIIIIIIIIIIINSSSS!!!!!!" * When this troper and his comrades were playing a game of laser tag we were cornered by the other team with odds that were clearly on the other team's side, all three of us charged out guns blazing, shouting LEEEEEEEEEEEROY JEEEEEEEEEEEENKIIIIIINSSSSSSS (Though you can't actually drag it out, as you are liable to be stunned mid-word if you do.) * [[@/PentiumMMX2 This troper]], when playing [[DotHack .hack]], has a tendency to do this when a powerful monster targets my Wavemaster, who's there for serve as a healer most of the time (You don't mess with my healer...and that goes double if Mistral is serving as my

healer). Also, when playing {{Doom}}, i have a tendency to charge into some rooms, packed full of various demons and such, using my chaingun to mow them down while shouting "I am bulletproof!", like [[TeamFortress2 Heavy]]. You'd be surprised how well that strategy works most of the time * This troper will sometimes inadvertently find himself in this situation. He will run out, thinking everything is clear, then start getting shot in the back by enemies that have managed to get around him. I usually manage to get away, though. * @@Is it possible to have a real life example?@@ Anyway, this troper once went to an AliceInWonderland interactive outdoor play, and as the rabbit went through the hole, I exclaimed "Follow that rabbit!" and charged into the rabbit hole. [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} Yeah, I'm that type of person...]] * I went through a stage where if I was playing a video game I behaved like a {{Leeroy Jenkins}} as an actual strategy in single player mode... to my amazement ''it actually worked'' a lot of the time. Sometimes the game just isn't prepared for something as simple as an [[{{Halo}} armoured spartan]] coming rushing towards the enemy position slinging sticky grenades and firing a plasma pistol at full speed at the nearest elite. Yeah, I died a lot, but probably less than I would've playing tactically. Cue me using this strategy in co-op with a friend who played more tactically. I ran in causing havoc, while he hung back and picked off anything that looked too ugly. Worked like a charm. Being a berserker isn't always bad. In single player at least. I'm more tactical in multiplayer. ** Are you kidding? Beserker-ing is ''way'' more effective in multiplayer, since the other player who's hanging back acts as a SpawnPoint. * Speaking of Halo, a good Leeroy Jenkins strategy is dual wielding either [=SMG=]s or Spikers. It's like being Captain Mifune from Matrix Revolutions; you last a little bit before you get your ass kicked hard by a Ghost or someone with a shotgun. Though miraculously this strategy ended up with me reaching Lt. * This Troper cannot play a video game without ,at least once somehow charging through all guns ablazing.If it is obvious that won't work I will wait as long as it takes, and then the minute I get the chance i will charge through anywhere I can as long as I can. No matter the outcome or how impossible it seems. * [[@/{{Miso}} I've]] done this playing BrutalLegend. Multiplayer AI practice, Ironheade vs. Ironheade. Actually, gentle difficulty. The first time I played it like this. I charged for the opposing stage with just Headbangers, Razor Girls, and a couple Thunderhogs. Just before, I said "LEEEEEEROOOOOOY JEEEEENKIIIIIIIIIIIINS!" * This troper isn't very good at FPS games, and finds the only way he can make a signfcant contribuation to the team is tto run forward and draw fire and attetion, while the good players go and win the game. Its hillarous when some gets close to kill me, then gets taken out by a scout waiting for someone to apporach the obvious diverson, or busy killing said diverson. This works well unless I'm in a game where EVERYONE is a newbie, then were all fucked * 1. Find a multiplayer game that requires teamwork (EG

''TeamFortress2'', ''{{Left 4 Dead}}''.) **2. Scream "LEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYY JEEEEEEEEEENKKKKKIIIIIIIIIIIINSSSS!!!!!!" **3. ??? **4. PROFIT *** Or you get kicked by paranoid team members. * This troper once ran a Role Play dungeon on {{Mabinogi}} with a friend of mine and her brother. The quest has the party leader (my friend in this case) playing an experienced Mage, Tarlach, I was a loli archer, Mari, and my friend's brother was Ruairi, the sole melee fighter of the three. He clearly had no concept of team strategy when you're the sole melee fighter with an archer and a mage; he would frequently run off to the other side of the room and ignore the rest of us while the enemy skeletons were walloping us at melee range. Even worse, he totally abandoned us to die in one room and ran off ahead, and then by the time he finally returned both my friend and I were dead, and he didn't even bother using any healing potions despite Ruairi starting with plenty to spare. When he died as a result, I totally gave up on the dungeon and left; knowing full well the boss of the dungeon is impossible to defeat without Mari. It was my attempt to cut short a clearly doomed quest before we got any further. ** This Tropette also plays Mabinogi, and another friend and I are referred to as "barbarians"...Meaning we run in and Leeroy, to the point where during a Skype chat with other players that are friends, I ran into a room in Longa dungeon and screamed, "LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOOOYY...JEEEEEEEEEEEEENKIIIIIINS~!" * This Troper has seen his fair share of these in the ''[[UnchartedDrakesFortune Uncharted 2]]'' online multiplayer mode, especially in the co-op games. Admittedly, it can be partly attributed to a lack of communication means unless one has a headset, but the [[TooDumbToLive sheer idiocy]] of some of the players is mindboggling. * This troper + Team Fortress 2 + Scout + Baseball Bat = this. Regardless of which map I'm playing on. * This troper is this whenever he plays a strategy game,with a little bit of turtling. He just can't attack until he knows his units are all upgraded and he has reached the population cap. He hates sending units to their death so when he attacks he needs to be sure he WILL win by throwing everything you've got at the enemy without planning. Usually he loses wich is why he doesn't play multiplayer very much. May be because of the [[VideogameCaringPotential VideogameCaringPotential]] * Superficially, this troper is Leeroy Jenkins at most games he plays. However, I use care and actually invest a lot of skill into CQB combat. * Played straight and subverted by this troper. In most [=MMOs=], I end up being TheCaptain for my group - so 90% of the time I have to be patient, calm, and keep everyone else's suicidal urges in check. ... But if the group is powerful enough I turn into a Leeroy; largely because I know they can handle it, it gets us through faster, and it's more entertaining. (If your group can handle 4 pulls at once, and you're doing just 1, you're playing it too safe! >.>) It's funny, it gets me a reputation for being nuts... yet I very, very, very rarely

actually cause any deaths, wipes are extremely rare. I kind of like it that way hehe * I can be this in 40k. Case of point: five space marines from a tactical squad against Kharn, with the tactical marines being the chargers. Cue "Let The Bodies Hit The Ground". Having said that, my best friend once made his dreadnought charge my wolf lord with a thunder hammer, melta bombs and a storm shield, who was in a squad of Blood Claws with one squad member armed with a power fist. My wolf lord failed to slay the dreadnought while my blood claw slew it. [[{{CrowningMomentOfAwesome}}And I took no casualties.]] Kinda makes up for my reputation of being garanteed to lose a game, no matter how certain victory looks... * This troper role plays in a FinalFantasyVII sim on SecondLife and believes some of his AVALANCHE friends are a bunch of leeroys, including the higher ranked guys who should be setting an example since they're semi-leaders. The faction had way too many cases where a rebel would attack a Shinra patrol, causing the enemy to call in for stronger forces by the time the leeroy calls for help. It got to the point where people now don't even bother coming out to save people from this stupidity, though this had recently caused much stress and in faction fighting on what the group should do in these cases since some thing leaving people behind for this makes the group look like jerks. * This troper does this when playing Sven Co-op [[NintendoHard SinglePlayer]], though considering how fucking hard it is to solo a Co-op game, it works ''wonders''. * I ran into this problem fairly often while raiding Sunwell Plateau in WorldOfWarcraft, notably with Kalecgos. To be fair, Kalecgos' aggro range is large enough that people who aren't standing on his platform can aggro him, unlike most other raid bosses, in which it's possible to get everyone over the threshold and into the boss arena before the pull, so that even if someone jumps the gun, the others don't get locked out. Unfortunately, this often happens before I can explain the fight, and the members tend not to listen to my telling them to get in the portals. Surprisingly though, not all these incidents result in total disaster; we almost defeated Brutallus when one member went Leeroy and pulled him before my explanation or Ready check. * [[@/{{ZombiezuRFER}} This troper]] is writing out a story for a Halo Reach machinima, and this trope is lampshaded when the hulking Elite armed with a Gravity Hammer runs into the fray and shouts out "ZZOOOOOOOMMMMBIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE, ZURFEEEEEERRRR!!!!!" ** You think that's bad? Whenever I'm doing Firefight, theres always one idiot who charges at a Wraith, Hunter or group of Elites. Three guesses how this ends... * Happens quite a bit when this troper and her friends play PerfectWorld and especially with one friend in particular - this troper plays a Venomancer who has to strategize through dungeons, and her impatient friend is a Barbarian who constantly pulls this move in said dungeons. Having a very high-leveled character compared to her friends does make the Leeroy maneuver not-so-risky, though it's killed our other friends a few times. * This trope is part of the reason I prefer to solo, and why I don't

get into MMO's that ''require'' teaming. On the other hand, I have regularly teamed with this kind of player just cause he's a cool guy and fun most of the time, but I always, always, ''always'' have a contingency. After awhile you kind of expect him to pull an IndyPloy out of his ass, and learn how to [[XanatosSpeedChess plan around it]], or even [[BatmanGambit count on it]]. * This Troper does this all the time in ''Laserquest'' games. LaughingMad optional. [[RuleOfFun It's just more fun that way]]. * In a few games of Warhammer40k, this Troper tends to do this with his [[RedshirtArmy Imperial Guard]]. One particularly memorable game involved the battle essentially having 2 phases. The first was a tactical, planned armored advance with mechanized units. This attack was annhilated by enemy antitank. The second phase involved a massed infantry charge that killed everything in its path. Just goes to show that while you may be a Wolf Lord in decked out Terminator armor, when 60 guys with bayonets decide they want to stab you to death? You. Will. Die.....Eventually. * This Troper once participated in an indoor, flashlights-only Capture the Flag war, inside a church, from 11 PM to 5 AM. Each team had two captains, and my friend Jason (also the youth pastor) and I were captains of one team, and [[SeriousBusiness we took our roles seriously]]. After having our butts handed to us for three or four times, we requested a time-out and called our team members together in an attempt to formulate a strategy. Five minutes of planning gave us a very solid strategy for defending our base (the main sanctuary) and infiltrating the opponent's base (the youth sanctuary and the kitchen) with as few people at a time as possible. Just as we were preparing to call off the time-out, one of our teammates ran out from the bathroom and across the church to invade the other team, screaming like a maniac. His attack ended the time-out and put us back at square one. [[MemeticMutation At least he had chicken.]] * Upon triumphantly telling her friend about the time she played Elder Scrolls: Oblivion and used stealth alone to infiltrate the Mythic Dawn Cult's base, kill every member, and get back out alive (an exploit that took exactly five in-game days), this Troper got a blank look and "Why didn't you just run in swinging your sword and throwing fireballs and fight them where they could see you? It'd be faster." She tried this on a different save. Her friend was right. * This troper tends to play support types in CityOfHeroes. I see Leeroy Jenkins-types as a win-win situation: either they pull off a CrowningMomentOfAwesome, or I've got a chance to use Vengeance and Fallout (a powerful team buff and a powerful AoE attack, both of which require a defeated teammate to activate). * This troper is prone to do this in CallOfDutyBlackOps. Whenever someone's popping out from behind a window and shooting, picking off his teammates while other allies shoot quick bursts from behind walls, he charges forward firing the [[MoreDakka FAMAS at their head.]] It usually works, and anyone who kills him afterward immediately dies in a bullet storm from the previously-hiding aforementioned allies. * This troper knows a very random boy named Cole. One lunch, he screamed LEEROY JENKINS! then crashed into the lockers. This had [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext absolutely no context whatsoever]] and

managed to not be the randomest thing he's done. * This troper once pulled a Leeroy while playing Dungeons and Dragons. The party was invading a goblin underground base (AKA dungeon) and found the mess hall. I had my character bang pots and pans together very loudly, thus causing every bad guy in the dungeon to storm into the room. However, this in itself was not a Leeroy; I had a plan, namely using the tables as cover and inviting the bad guys into a death trap of arrows and sharp objects being poked over the furniture, causing bodies to pile up around the [=PCs=] as we laughed maniacally. Sadly, this plan had a flaw: I had neglected to inform anyone else and give the party time to fortify the area, and thus I pulled a Leeroy. I (the party Rogue) had great fun hiding under a table and repeatedly sneak-attacking everyone without being noticed for several rounds, but the DM still had to save our asses. * I've teamed with at least one in every MUD I've ever played. I've seen them often enough to sort of clock them ahead of time and have a self-preservation measure in case they go off, and if they're lucky, have a contingency to pull their poor asses out of the fire. * I was playing a mission based off of the Rush game mode from BattlefieldBadCompany at the local airsoft field and our team was set to capture the last base, but the fast push we had made forward at the beginning stagnated at the last base when a few accurate, hardened defenders began to make their final stand and our tickets started dwindling. After performing a quick recon mission in the woods that brought me within 100 feet of the enemy base, I was returning to our front lines to report on their numbers and positions when suddenly there was a massive "RAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" from the direction of our base. Suddenly, a 6'4 Englishman was charging down the path straight toward the last base with a tomahawk raised above his head and the last 20 or 25 men of our army right behind him. Surprisingly, it WORKED; the defenders were so confused and startled by the sudden {{Braveheart}} charge that they forgot to fire until our army could see the whites of their eyes. When the charge started to falter and the troops started freezing up behind flimsy cover and trying to take accurate shots, I forced them to charge straight into the base and effectively ''scare'' the enemies into fleeing and giving up the game. * This troper's cousin ''and'' brother are this. Many a time have my plots and plans been reduced to ashes by their haste. ---All right, let's make a plan about redirecting to the * "All right, guys, let's do this! [[Main/LeeroyJenkins LEEEEEEEEEROOYYYYYYY...JEEEEEEEEEEEEENKIIIIIIIIIIIINS!!!]]" ** No, wait, don'tAUUUGH!! ** Well, at least he had chicken... ** Alas, poor Leeroy, I knew thee not at all... <<|TroperTales|>>

Left4Dead * One if the funniest moments me and my friends had in left 4 dead was when we where trying to get the achievment of no witches startled

during the campaign Dead air.So of course at the fourth level there was a witch right in the saferoom.I then proceed to walk over to the witch, and crushed her to death with the door. When my friend in the next level said that we still kinda startled a witch i said( in a complete Trollvoice) I didn't do it, It was the DOOR. Said friend proceede to laugh his ass off and after that we got the achievment anyway. * Originally, this Troper had been a troll, but only to hardcore players! Once in Survival in the original game, I started shooting at the francis player with an SMG, who, understandably, shot me back with a shotgun. as the two bots healed us on the opposite sides of the watertower, he managed to throw a moltov which i narrowly avoided, we chased each other 3/4 around the water tower when he had to reload. I spayed him into his own fire, which he escaped by jumping off to his own death. He called me a rather explicit word to which I responded with N00b! He left the game. * This was funny and awesome, me and my Dad are playing and Dad goes into a room to search for ammo. I go off on my own, as the bots were dead. Five minutes later, my Dad leaves the room to see me run straight past him yelling "KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT!" while being chased by a flaming and very pissed off Witch. My dad walks out once it has passed him and opens up with an assault rifle and kills it. There's a pause. Then my dad deadpans "Please stop anoying the emo zombies." * This could count as CrowningMomentOfFunny for me. On the finale of Dead Air, we had just fought off a second horde and were about to fight the tank, I got on the mounted machine gun, found the tank, he threw a cargo storage container at us, incapped three of us, my friend looked at it bounce off the semitruck and incap him so it took serious aim to incap all four of us with one container. * This troper's [[http://scottthong.wordpress.com/2011/02/28/funnycool-and-other-left-4-dead-2-stories/ running collection here]]. Own recollections welcome! * My CrowningMomentOfAwesome from my first time playing the second game simply ''must'' be told. It was at a friend's house, who greatly enjoyed using console commands to create unlimited hordes of zombies... counteracted with invincibility, infinite ammo and a [[ChainsawGood CHAINSAW]]. At one point, I was surrounded on all sides by hundreds of zombies. What did I do? [[SpinAttack Super Chainsaw Tornado Attack]]! This was apparentley so awesome, the three CPU allies were just standing there, ''watching''. That's right, I was so awesome '''''I IMPRESSED A COMPUTER PROGRAM'''''. ** \M/ ^_^ \M/ * Playing the original Left 4 Dead Solo on Expert. I was being an idiot and muted the game audio and was playing some System of a Down. I went into a room, opened up the closet, and immediately got jumped by a tank. [[BringMyBrownPants I needed a change of pants after that...]] * Playing Left4Dead2 on advanced, I got Sob Story by accident. I was playing with three bots, and going through the sugar mill. When I got Sob Story on a different profile, it took me five tries on easy, with only one bot. I got it without trying, on a much harder difficulty, on

the first go. YouWereTryingTooHard, indeed. ** This troper got Sob Story the first time of playing Hard Rain, also by accident. *** This troper as well. He got ''VIOLENCE IN SILENCE'' also by accident. **** [[SinfireTitan This troper]] had spent several attempts with a friend and two bots trying to get Sob Story. We misread the achievement and thought it required to not STARTLE a witch. Needless to say, the bots were no help with that (Goddamn it Rochelle). Nearly 8 attempts later, I was checking the achievements to see if I could find an easier one (my friend had left for the day, so just me and three bots). I reread Sob Story, and decided to attempt it again. I got it without startling a single witch anyway. My friend wouldn't speak to me for a week. * ''Left4Dead''. This troper was in a versus game at the finale of No Mercy as the Infected. We'd been the first team to try as survivors and our opponents had slaughtered us not long after we called in the helicopter. On our turn as infected, we didn't bother trying to slow them down in the hallways, we all just went to the rooftop. Our Boomer and two Hunters stood near the top of the ladder leading onto the roof while I, as the Smoker, went over to the satellite dish. Our plan was for our Boomer to lose his lunch down the hole, me to rope the first one that came out and the hunters to tackle the other two (the fourth guy was probably going to be busy with the regular infected, the guy who planned it never said). What happened was that I was a bit too quick on the trigger with my tongue; grabbing the first survivor (Francis) as he reached the top of the ladder, leaving him to dangle at the top of the ladder, covered in Boomer bile with no way for the other survivors to rescue him. This worked out better as he was killed quickly. The remaining survivors made it onto the roof, but our Boomer managed to slime them all with his death explosion and I roped Zoey, dragging her off the roof and down to the base of the dish tower. Her companions saved her (they were slowed down, but not as much as they could have since one of our Hunters pounced right over the edge of the building), but she'd been incapacitated, so was low on health. They called the copter and as Zoey came out onto the roof (not having had the chance to heal yet), I roped her again, dragging her once more to the base of the dish tower. Louis couldn't save her; having been tackled by a Hunter just as I grabbed Zoey. I'm not sure what happened to Bill (probably pounced and slimed) as my attention was elsewhere. It is without doubt the greatest moment I have ever experienced in the game. ** This troper was playing a game on No Mercy. As we hadn't played the game much at that point, we weren't doing very well, and the survivors were of course doing quite well. The Director then granted our team with a Tank. The Tank proceeded to ''punch a car into all four Survivors,'' incapacitating all of them. ** We were on the Blood Harvest finale, and felt sorry for the one person on the other team. All his friends had quit because our team was winning. So we decided, in order for it to be remotely fair, we would all grab sniper rifles and hold out in the cornfield for the finale. ''It worked.'' Two of us made it away!

** In one of my rounds of Death Toll, if came down to the final tank charging up the dock as the survivors boarded the boat, punching those who had already boarded off into the water, and then camping the deck until they all went down. The CMOA was the opportunity for him to deliver the line, "I'M ON A BOAT!" while jumping up and down just before the end. * The ''bots'' got one in my first "No Mercy" playthrough (as Bill). I jumped off the roof onto two AC units, then down from those. A few seconds into the alley, I'm getting ''mauled'' by Infected everywhere. Just as I hit about 50 health, Francis, Zoey, and Louis come barreling in, killing all the zombies and then having Zoey heal me. I never abandoned my bots for the rest of the game. ** Same troper, same campaign; Dropped both a Witch and a Hunter down an elevator shaft. ** Me again! L4D2 this time; Hard Rain. Threw a Molotov at a Tank (That was right in fromt of me at the time) and a Commo Infected ran in front of me to get burned as it passed by. I repeat; the Molotov lt something on fire ''before it hit the ground''. Sadly, [[DethroningMomentOfSuck a Charger then rammed me off the dock as I was waiting for Virgil.]] *** I had a somewhat similar experience playing offline co-op with my friend. We were playing Dark Carnival, right before the crescendo even with the meyy-go-round. I was incapped right before the drop, and my teammates had all jumped down before me. As I was bleeding out, my friend and one of the bots got killed. I was out 20 health (LITERALLY only a second from dying), when Coach appeared out of nowhere to save me. We proceeded to kick ass and take names on out way to saferoom. Coach was renamed Super Coach, and all was well, until a Tank coated the walls with us thirty seconds into the next level. * This Troper got one on the second part of No Mercy, in the subway station. This Troper was on the infected team, and our team of two Hunters, a Smoker, and a Boomer, got ready for an ambush. This Troper was the Smoker. The Boomer ran in first, and while they were distracted with the new weapons and the infected around, boomed three of the four. The fourth one, trying to escape and help his teammates, was pulled by me, as the Smoker. The Hunters pounced two of the others, and the Boomer, along with his minions, mauled the final guy to death. Infected win in less than 2 minutes of gameplay. * This Troper got one in the finale of No Mercy. While running through the top level of the hospital before reaching the roof, Zoey was jumped by a Hunter. Being the closest person, he ran over to help, and punched the Hunter off of Zoey. And off of the building. He then walked to the edge and watched it fall. Satisfying as all hell. * I was playing his second run-through of The Passing with a group of new players who had no mics. I joined right at the beginning, before the group even got off the street. Out of nowhere, a tank attacked. The tank rampaged down the hallway of the first building before smacking me into a small room with several guns, ammo.....and a gas can on the floor. Right before the tank made his final hit, with the other survivors distracted by a hoard, I fired a burst into the gas tank at my feet, engulfing the room in flames and killing the tank before it got out of the room. Fortunately, the dude playing Nick

managed to save me from the burning building, but a HeroicSacrifice would have made it so much more awesome. * I was playing through the Realism Versus mutation on The Passing. Less than five seconds before we officially left the safe zone, a Boomer jumps down, slimes everyone, and runs away. He then proceeds to do the exact same thing five minutes later after we had forgotten about him. DeadWeight my ass, he was outright {{Acrofatic}}. * A friend and I were playing the boathouse finale of Death Toll. I'll admit we hadn't done great the whole game, and the finale was more of the same. By the time the boat horn sounded we were pretty beat up. Me, my friend, and the two all limped (literally) to the dock, taking out the few zombies along the way. But when we arrived the usual final finale hordes spawned, and the boat was still forever away. I literally said ThisIsGonnaSuck and (possibly "[[FuturAma we're boned.]]") The zombies came into visual rang, and I spent the last of my ammo shooting them in the distance. A few seconds before they appeared my friend [[CrazyPrepared pulled out a molotov]] I hadn't noticed he saved, and threw it onto the far end of the pier. The whole horde ran straight into it and died as they reached us. Then the boat arrived. I called him a "[[BritishAccents cheeky bastard]]" as we climbed aboard. * During the Versus Survival mutation, I was the Smoker and climbed up on top of the concert stage in Dark Carnival: Concert and the person who played Coach climbed to the top of the scaffolding next to the concert stage. So I smoked him. Where the fun starts is the smoking pulled him all the way off the platform and a little bit into the air. So he was literally hanging. Even though he had almost full health, none of the other players came by to assist him. When he was almost dead I realized, OMG, I lunched Coach! For added fun, several games later in Versus, I was the Smoker on Dead Center: Hotel, went to the 2nd floor to due the window ledge smoking. After pulling one to the ledge, I smoked Coach at the right momemt and the Smoker pulled him all the way off the ledge so he was hanging a little below the 2nd floor and I realized I had done it again. ** After the team switch in the afore mentioned Versus Survival: 1) I ended up as Coach, and 2) the player who was Nick decied to suicide during the setup by jumping off a high scaffolding, so I grabbed the defib and started zapping him, but stopping just before he got up. I did it 20-30 times, and we all found ti hilarious. This was before a patch added a time limit to the Versus Survival prep. When I finally completed the zapping and he got up. He gave his line to stop zapping him cause that really hurt. * Any of you guys ever played a game that total zombie kills are at 3300 zombies and you personally killed nearly half of that (around 1500) by yourself? Yeah, I never think that that's possible, but I just have a Hard Eight game in the Parish on Easy, and that's what happens. The next 2 guys kill around 600 each...that's the most awesome game ever! * My first witch kill happened the first time I played No Mercy (ie, first time I fired up the game), where she'd spawned near the scissor lift. It involved me pumping an entire clip of hunting rifle ammo into her...with no damage to myself or my suspiciously dodgy AI teammates.

Toss in the fact that I actually got no help from the fiddly, suddenly gun-shy bits of code either, and I pretty much ended up soloing my first witch without a shotgun or a Molotov. I celebrated by cracking my AI allies in the skull with the butt of my rifle (my exact thoughts then being "why weren't you bastards shooting?! You were doing so much of it before she showed up!"). * I ended up with [[{{Tropers/Ryumaru}} my]] first and (as of current posting) only Cr0wn on a different profile than my own, at a friend's house in the first game. I snuck up behind her, she looked at me and stood up, prompting the "OHGODI'MGOINGTODIE" response. So I started blasting with my auto-shotgun. A few seconds later, we had a dead Witch and me doubting very much that I'd cr0wned her. Then the achievement pops up. Cue fist pump. * This troper rarely plays public games due to jackass griefers, but there were a few occasions where I got the upper hand on a griefer. In the 2nd map of Death Toll, after the sewer event, there was a guy who turned and shot one of our own till he went down. Luckily, I was in the distance with the Hunting Rifle and sniped his sorry ass till he went down. We then all shot him to death and kicked him from the game. In another game during Crash Course, a mic spammer was being a dick and after we had to restart due to dying from a Tank, he proceeds to try and shoot me to death. I run ahead with him hot on my heels until I find an Auto Shotgun. I then turned around to face him and blasted him till he died. * During a recent (as of this post) game of Versus in Dark Carnival, there was a ''VERY'' good player who made playing hell for the opposing team. Come the coaster level and this person decides to abandon his teammates and start the coaster all on his own, managing to kill everything coming his way while the other survivors were just exiting the tunnel of love. Cue my friend as a Hunter pouncing on the nearly full-HP person and myself spitting on them, killing them and thus, letting us win that round. * Playing Left 4 Dead on Dead Air. Just as you get to the safe house when you finally reach the airport, I charged on ahead over the sky bridge as my friends were cleaning up. Salvation! I had made it! Until... a tank spawned in the safe house with me on my lonesome. In the thralls of OhCrap, I panicked and hammered the Use key. Inadvertantly, I had trapped the Tank behind the unbreakable safehouse door. My team caught up and we laughed merrily as the Tank was helplessly pumped full of bullets. * I couldn't play L4D2 online when I first got it(I forget why), so I decided to play through anyway. Somehow, I managed to get Sob Story the first try, and to beat The Parish alone the first time. Yes, with three bots. All of them survived Sob Story, although I abandoned them on The Bridge and spent a while watching the messages telling me what the AIs were doing while I hung out in the helicopter chopping up everything that came in range until they died. These proud moments was balanced by the utter destruction I encountered during my first Dark Carnival run - on the level where you fight your way through an endless horde to the saferoom, I had abandoned my bots as lost causes and was half dead while I sliced through the horde, and encountered a Boomer. As if that wasn't bad enough, guess what was in the saferoom?

Yup - a Tank! Long story short, I was brutally slaughtered and RageQuit for a while. I still don't like that level. ** Update: I can now safely say I have had the most epic, most fun playthrough I will ever, ever have. I was a little leery about playing online due to [[{{Griefer}} griefers]], but two friends and I decided to start up a lobby together. After a long wait, we got started on Dead Center. The other team started to sing. I kid you not. One person broke into [[{{Aladdin}} A Whole New World]] and not long after, their entire team was singing improv about what was going on in the match. One person got kicked for not singing. Fourth players who joined my side and complained about the singing got the singers to start improv on them instead of the game. I was laughing the entire time. That was the best loss I've ever experienced, I had no problem with it whatsoever. * Playing some Versus and ending up in a pick-up group against a seasoned four-man team is bad. Having said four-man team utterly dominate us is worse. That four-man team's theme being "[[{{Pokemon}} Team Rocket]]" (Jessie, James, Meowth and Giovanni) is indescribably humiliating. Suffering ''Pokemon''-themed insults in chat ("you guys stink worse than a Grimer in a garbage dump!") is why this troper hasn't played Versus mode since. * When playing Versus on The Parish in L4D2, we pinned the survivors down in a bar. Not very good usually as a hunter, I managed to rake one of the survivors to death on a stairwell before pegging it. The Survivors marched onward and eventually found themselves a Defib, at which point the dead player DEMANDED that they return for him. So they did. They revived him, sure, but I was back in business as a Spitter. I ended up incapping an additional Survivor and killing another. The one who demanded that they returned for him? I ended up hanging from the balcony as a Smoker as he jumped to activate the Parade Float. Some games just go very well. * Whenever a Hunter is killed mid-lunge, something funny is bound to happen, but this particular one took the cake for me. It's the second level in Dead Air and I descend a stairwell to see a Hunter crouched at the bottom at the end of a corridor. It lunges at me, gets popped in the head and dies mid-lunge. It then proceeds to smack its head into the cement archway at one point in the corridor and does a few reverse flips before landing in a crumpled heap on the floor. * My third time ever playing Left 4 Dead, I was playing with a group of friends on The Sacrifice. I was Bill, as I'd planned to sacrifice myself. All throughout the game I was acting pretty HotBlooded, but I realized there was something missing that I hadn't said yet. Throughout the campaign my other two friends had been pretty shitty teammates, and mostly just left my friend and I to our own devices. Just at the finale, my friend - playing Louis - was being ridden by a jockey. I killed it from about ten meters with the semi-auto shotgun. Seconds later, he was hit by a Charger. As I turned to save him again, I remembered what I had been missing. [[RedDawn "WOLVERINES!"]] I yelled and blasted the Charger. Once we were on the bridge, I was determined to sacrifice myself, but I didn't know how to do it. I kept asking, but nobody answered me. The friend playing Zoey hopped on the mounted machine-gun and had some fun. Cue Louis leaping clean over

Zoey and hitting the generator. He proceeded to rub it in my face while I reminded him that I had specifically chosen to play as Bill. ** The next session, we played No Mercy (still on L4D2), and once again the friend Zoey was being a speedrunning prick. Eventually it came to my friend Louis and Francis (replaced by an AI) lying incapped on the road while Zoey sat in the safe house waiting for us to die. I yelled at my friend to help, but he ignored us. Grabbing my trusty shotgun, I proceeded to rescue both of the single-handed and lead them back to the safehouse. Once there, I [[MemeticBadass memetic badassed]] the situation into Bill storming into the saferoom, covered in gore, pumping his shotgun and asking Zoey how her day had been. * Right after the original Left 4 Dead was released a few friends and I had a [=LAN=] party to get together and play it in the same room. (Lights off, of course.) As we started the campaign in the first safe room one of the guys was busy spraying rude/pornographic pictures all over the walls and floors, we took turns shooting each other to death and generally farted around thinking we were going to be "shootin' us some zombies." Cue 15 minutes later as we're carefully walking through a parking lot, trying not to shoot the cars and set off alarms. There's not a spray in sight and we are all on hair triggers. We manage to fight off an incoming wave and as the last few zombies go down we hear ... crying. OhCrap. We're surrounded by cars and buildings, we've gotten turned around during the horde and we're yelling at each other "where is she? WHERE IS SHE?!" Four hardcore gaming guys who were acting like five-year-olds 15 minutes earlier were so immersed we were ready to crap our pants at the sound of the Witch's crying. By the time we finished the campaign we were sweating and tired as if we had been the survivors and had to call a break. One of the most awesome gaming experiences I've ever had. * I was new at L4D, playing single player. the first time I encountered a witch, [[TooDumbToLive I didn't know that flashlights startled her.]] I had figured that out the second time I encountered one, but while I was looking at her, I thought I saw her look up, which prompted me to fire the shotgun, [[OhCrap startling her.]] I ''really'' hate witches. ** (OP) I managed to get over this first when I killed one with a grenade launcher, and cr0wned another. * [[{{Tropers/Kadorhal}} My]] love for the new Chrome Shotgun was cemented when I managed to cr0wn a Wandering Witch by firing a single shot into the back of her head. She didn't even scream upon her death. ** Also, one time while playing on Advanced mode, I managed to cut both arms off of a Hazmat Infected with a crowbar, only for the zombie in question to [[OnlyAFleshWound get back up and continue trying to hit me.]] I had been waiting for that to happen since the demo. ** Me again, for the new Cold Stream campaign: While on the damaged bridge, a Tank attacked. I lured the Tank back onto the bridge, assuming I would die while my teammates got to a more advantageous position. Instead, I pretty much killed the Tank on my own, and I even got an AK with a laser sight for my trouble when we regrouped. * Probably my biggest moment of Scavenge ownage ever on No Mercy: Rooftop. I was playing with four players who we shall call Ryan, Kenny, and Fazno. First round started, my team was up first. There was

this JerkAss player on the other team named llama, who constantly said we sucked when we were kicking his ass. He said Ryan was a coward (he was sitting on a nearby roof protecting us), Kenny was a lone wolf (when I was constantly watching his back), I just plain sucked (yet I collected 20+ gas cans in that session), and Fazno...he didn't say anything about Fazno. We got 20/21 cans a round (we got 10 cans one round, but we still won), while they're highest was 7. I am now good friends with Kenny, Ryan and Fazno. * This Troper created abit of a [=CMoF=] on Dark Carnival as Ellis. After only getting about four points at Stache Whacker not only using guns but with a second player, I accidentally hit the "Argh" command. --> "''HOG-WASH!''" * This troper uses a talker file add-on that makes the survivors say different things during the game compared to the defaults used by the game. In one game, I was Nick and my friend was Ellis. She shoots me by mistake, causing the following exchange and making us both laugh our ass off: --> '''Nick''': "I hate you, Ellis!" --> '''Ellis''': "Well I still like you, Nick." * Here's a funny moment from playing offline co-op: we were playing the opening chapter of "Swamp Fever" and was in one of little buildings before you actually reach the swamp. A Hunter was lurking nearby, and one of the bots (as Nick) decided to heal me. Until said Hunter jumped me, interrupting Nick. After it was swiftly thwarted, Nick went back to healing me and said, "Now, don't waste this by getting pounced on or something." :O * I was playing the first game, can't remember the campaign, but Me and a friend are up in a watchtower, My friend covers the door, and I try to get a crowned on a witch but it doesn't work, and it comes after me. My friend's waiting at the door to fight it off, then the damn thing comes through the window I shot out of. * I was playing the carnival level of L4D2, and I got surrounded by a horde of zombies in the tunnel of love, with the others all running away ahead. The obvious outcome of this situation is death by five million zombies. Then I remembed I had the chainsaw. Cue lots of random flailing while zombie parts fly everywhere.* When I was playing on a customized 10 vs. 10 No Mercy server, awesome in and of itself, I managed to be one of the only 2 survivors to make it to the saferoom. With 1 health left, black and white, no allies nearby and a boomer chasing me. As the other survivors had slowly been taken out, except for the 1 guy who managed to rush unnoticed, tank running around in the background. Cue "OPEN THE DOOR" and much celebration. ** I also managed, on a similar Parish server, to ram 4 of the 10 survivors off the bridge with a Karma charge, including the one who had charged me last round. * On No Mercy Versus, prepatch, this troper made use of a certain exploit for a CMoF. Namely, he rushed up to the top of the elevator shaft during that stage, and used the time provided by his teammates to shift the rather large generator to block the elevator doors completely. Ten minutes later, after the survivors have been trapped in the elevator for a while and had been reduced to using their pistols, they finally gave up and quit.

* Playing through "The Passing" for the first time on single-player, I had accidentally switched out my preferred weapon combo (Shotgun+Pistols) for a less ideal combination, and as a result, was doing pretty badly in the last chapter. Tanks, spitters, jockeys and chargers had gotten the entire team into the grey zone, with very, very little health left. So what did I do? [[InstantWinCondition I dragged the last gas can all the way across the map and limped my sorry ass back to the car.]] * [[SelfImposedChallenge Self Imposed Challenges go here]] ** I (Kain Lupus) always play for a no-deaths run. I feel the rescue is meaningless if you haven't actually survived. I also like to have at least one piece of gear on me when I get rescued so I can gift it to my rescuer as thanks. I wouldn't consider not using any exploits to be a SelfImposedChallenge, but I do that as well. Oh, and I don't quit a game until I've died or lagged out, I like to take shitty team-mates and impossible odds as added challenges * This Troper's Boyfriend had never played Left 4 Dead 2. So we start it up, and as the intro's playing, the Spitter rears her ugly head. Troper's Boyfriend goes "OHMYGODWHATTHEHELLISTHAT!!!" and a fan is born. Plus In the first level, I got ridden of the hotel by a Jockey. That was embarrassing. * Shutting the safe room door on a Tank is immensely satisfying. * The funniest thing that happened to this Troper and his friends took place halfway through Swamp Fever. We were playing on Advanced and had just left the safe room, none of us were doing to well health wise. Then we heard the Tanks music playing, and my friend ordered us all to rush backto the safe room. So, we were waiting in there for five minutes, when the Tank finally reached the door,when my friend said "Oh wait, the Tank can bust down safe room doors". All I managed to say was "Wait wha-" before I saw the door go flying past my face and the Tank rushing into the room. There were no survivors. * So my girlfriend and I were playing Left 4 Dead 2 tonight. Her favorite campaign is Swamp Fever. After a few mishaps, including me starting a witch I couldn't see and getting stuck on the bridge as it slowly lowered, we made it to the plantation, and managed to hold ourselves out pretty well past the first tank. When it was time for the second one to arrive, I started looking around the courtyard for a direction to shoot in. Then, at the last second, I turned around to see it barging straight through the house itself...along with its identical twin. I was down to one health and my girlfriend was seeing grey, but we still managed to make it to Virgil before dying. * I was just getting used to playing the game so I did the first campaign by myself when I spot a witch on a lower level than I was. When I realized that she had no way to get up to me and that I had a jar of Boomer Bile on me and that there was a Molotov nearby... I laughed for a good minute as she ran around screaming her head off and killing the other infected while she burned. * Changing the Tank theme to [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYtc0ofZ0o this]] makes it incredibly epic when you fight them. Bonus points for killing one to this music on expert with no one getting incapped. * This troper was playing the beta of Cold Stream with a friend of

his, and this troper was at the part where you have to blow up some barrels in order to knock over some barriers blocking your way. While shooting the barrels, the AI [[TheScrappy Rochelle]] was in front of this troper, so he offhandedly remarked that he wished she was closer to the barrels so she'd get blown up. After the barrels blew up, the barriers fell over... [[CrowningMomentOfFunny and one landed on Rochelle and incapped her]]. This troper and his friend could not stop laughing for a bit. * This troper's tale is rather dear to his heart, since it not only made me a fan of the game, but got me into the wonderful world of Valve in general- which includes Team Fortress 2 and Portal. It started one night in my freshman year of college when I was bored with no homework or anything to do. I texted a good friend of mine, a senior, and he invited me over to hang out with him and his roommates. Well, one of them wasn't there but the other was, and in time we had played a rather epic series of Halo battles (another story entirely) and then decided to move on to another game... something called Left 4 Dead. I had heard of it but didn't really know a whole lot other than the basic plot and some of the special infected. I ended up as Francis while my friends were Bill and Zoey. We had the most incompetent Louis-bot ever, whom we repeatedly shot to take out our frustrations at him. I found the game fun but slightly generic until the first Tank showed up, and then I realized I was playing something special. We ripped No Mercy and Blood Harvest both a new one, and I survived my first Witch encounter, learned the merits of pills, and even killed a couple special infected along the way. I've only played it one other time since due to extenuating circumstances, but I'm still a big fan of the series and am hoping to set up some games with friends eventually. * This troper's brother was playing Left 4 Dead one time with his friend and they were holed up in a room during the final level. His friend was holding the door, he was holding the window, I think that the other were dead at this point. They were doing quite well defending the room from the infected. Until a Tank crawled through the window and murdered them both. * This troper remembers an instance that happened when he was playing Dead Carnival. It was at the end of the level, and the helicopter arrived. This troper originally wanted to use adrenaline and sprint into the helicopter, but he [[WhatAnIdiot ran in the wrong direction]]. He tried to turn around and run toward where the helicopter's real location was, but kept getting slowed down by common infected. Rochelle (an AI) was already incapped, and the other survivors (including this troper's friend), where already in the helicopter, so it looked like this troper wouldn't make it. So, this troper decides to take out his grenade launcher and [[ViolationOfCommonSense shoot it at his feet]], the impact damaging this troper slightly (He was playing on normal difficulty), and blowing up all the infected surrounding him. He repeated this twice before he managed to get on the helicopter. ** This troper also remembers a moment where his friend (a different one than the one repeated above) and he were playing the Bridge section in the Parish. It was ThatOneLevel for us, so one time, we

managed to do quite well in the beginning. We had almost full health, we haven't used our medkits yet, we had adrenaline, and we had plenty of ammo. Then a Charger came and [[HopeSpot knocked us both into the water]]. * When I played Left 4 Dead for the first time with my cousins who were crazy about it, I was scared as hell. I kept hearing sobbing and screaming and I just kept shooting everything and everyone. I pretty much gave up after that. A year later, after engrossing myself with movies like Zombieland and other zombie apocalyptic novels and games, I fell in love with it. I still run and shoot like crazy when I see a Witch though... * This Troper will never forget crowning his first witch. It was the streets in Dead Center. Three bots with him, in the maintenance room before the underpass. There's a common infected on the first short stairwell, right in front of the witch, one that the bots took out without startling it. This troper begins to sneak in for the kill when a spitter hocks a glob of acid in the middle of the room. ''[[ImprobableAimingSkills The bots take it out without startling the witch.]]'' This troper sneaks in again, getting about five feet away without startling the witch, and blasts it through the head with buck shot. * At one point in the Dark Carnival campaign, there's a hole in the floor where you have to drop down blind into the Tunnel of Love (and apparently Tanks love that spot too.) This troper hocked a molly to clear a landing space, and was looking down enjoying the damage. In rapid succession, she was hit by a Smoker, Hunter, and Jockey. All through the fire. The bots kept firing, but stayed upstairs. [[TheComputerIsACheatingBastard All this on ''Easy.'']] ** Later on in Hard Rain, I was looking for a Tank I'd heard but couldn't see, to try and trigger it before we had to call the elevator. Eventually I gave up and hit the button. One horde later, the elevator comes up; [[DynamicEntry surprise,]] [[OhCrap Tank.]] * [=L4D1=] - [[Tropers/KainLupus Me]] and two friends just played a Versus Match against some strangers, and we curb-stomped them (none of us died). After we got in the APC (Blood Harvest), my friend unlocked the achievement UNBREAKABLE, for neither being healed nor healing. Totally didn't know you could get Campaign achievements on Versus ** Also, I've got MAN VS TANK on Advanced ** This one time I was playing Blood Harvest, and we'd just arrived at The Farmhouse. I hadn't died once so far, but I was red. I went to grab my kit before someone chavved it and another Survivor (who I refuse to refer to as my team-mate) pitched up that I should die and respawn for the health boost. I started to object, and got cut short by a shotgun blast to the face. I was quite pissed off. At the time I was like "chill, it's not a big deal" and quit the game, but now I wish I'd respawned and killed him. Oh, well... * Picture this: I'm playing Left 4 Dead 2, and I'm on Level 2 of The Parish. I'm running ahead of my bot buddies (I was playing on Solo), and I'm right at the safe room door. The next thing I know, a Hunter [[JumpScare jumps out of the safe room]] [[CrowningMomentOfFunny and proceeds to claw the shit out of me.]] * Ahh, Left 4 Dead. The mention of it brings back memories of that

cornfield that basically creeped out this troper. Another memorable moment was when this troper and her friends were trying to get past a witch unnoticed, and someone said, "Sorry guys, no choice", and took a potshot at the witch. Cue in troper screaming, "I TOLD you to forget the witch!!" and nearly getting put out of the net cafe where she was playing. This game can account for some of the academic slip-ups this troper and her guy friends had during the term they were obsessed with it. * A few instances in a single game of Versus Dark Carnival in L4D2 first was while, playing as the Survivors, we hear a witch near the end of the Barns. I turn the corner only to have a Smoker (one of my friends) standing behind the Witch and pull me... I still managed to crown her, doing 1070 damage in one well-placed shotgun blast before I got roped fully. Second, in the same instance after the gates had opened (maybe 3 minutes after the aforementioned instance), Nick went down, with the player telling us to get the hell out of there - cue me throwing a MolotovCocktail in front of the gate to ward off the incoming infected while our teammates covered my getting him on his feet. They book it as he finishes standing up, avoiding spitter goo, as they do (me and Nick were trapped on the near side, allowing him to heal). We all make it to the finish. Then, in the Finale, all of the players but my friend had abandoned the other team, so I swapped (even though my team had only not completed 1 level so far) out of pity. The 3 teammates I'd left behind wound up wiping shortly after the first tank spawn, while my newly acquired team (myself, the friend, and 2 Pugs) finished it entirely. I couldn't help but joke that without me, things just fell apart. * I got multiple Stories tell, so here it goes ** The first time a cr0wned a witch. What happened was that I was a n00b at this game at the time. I'm playing with these dudes who know everything about the game and where teaching me and stuff like that. Anyways, they all die, so it up to me, and I meet a witch blocking a way I have to go. Lucky, I saw her from a distance, but I knew I was suppose to go that way. I had an auto shotgun with me, and well, I was afraid of having to start ALL over on the campaign, so what do I do? Shoot her about 5 times screaming "DIEBITCHDIEDON'TKILLME!!!! AGG!!" Then I notice I killed her with about 2 shots. Notice the achievement "cr0wned" pop up. ** Dead Air on Expert on the one where you have to get back on the rooftops (2nd level I think). Now then, I don't play on Expert, but one of my friends invited me to play, so I went ahead and joined. I'm sticking with the group, and hear the witch music and her crying. I start freaking out and wondering where she is, and I hear that someone's angered her. i look over in the room by me and there she is. Cue me running like a pansy trying to get to the saferoom (we weren't that far from it) when I start panicking and accidently fall out a window. I get downed and she jumps out the window too and kills me. My response: "Witch wins [[MortalKombat Flawless victory. FATALITY]] Cue everyone laughing their asses off because of what I said. * I remember my first versus match on The Passing. A Boomer dropped out of nowhere five seconds after we left the car, vomitted on us, and ran off without a scratch on him. All I had to ask was "What the hell

just happened." * [[{{Tropers/Kadorhal}} I]] had mentioned this somewhere else here before, but I can't find it now: I played "The Parish" with a trio of British friends, one of whom normally [[{{Griefer}} intentionally sets off car alarms]] but decided for that one game that he wasn't going to do so. We proceeded to accidentally set off ''every car'' in the impound lot in the third map. ---TAAAAAANK! TAAAAAANK! RUN ''AND'' SHOOT BACK TO [[Left4Dead LEFT 4 DEAD]]!!!! ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LeftFielder This page is now about pickles. What's your favorite kind? I like pelicans. ---* This troper remembers running down a slope, then being told "Stop right there!" then told to do five jumps. Doing six jumps resulted in having to do a "minus jump" and the conversation turned into [[ResignationsNotAccepted time vortexes changing time and making people soldiers all their life]] and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking threesome sex with]] [[InterspeciesRomance a shield bug-]][[MindScrew on your finger?]] * ThisTroper remembers a topic which could have been popular, but on the ''second'' post was abruptly changed to be about trees. It lasted up to the full 500 posts, and was then continued for another 250 posts in a new topic until a mod spoiled our fun. * This troper is a member of an RPG board that has a separate thread, called Vampire Jesus, that ''is'' its left field (said left field is now about the size of the outfield at the Polo Grounds). at least once a day, someone recommends that a discussion in an out-of-character thread be taken to VJ. * To go ''way'' back to the topic of threads that get off topic, this editor once saw a thread on the Wizards of the Coast message boards that started on determining the alignment and colour of a half blue dragon red slaad, then degenerated into a heated argument over whether or not you could make a pair of ten-foot poles by purchasing a ladder and cutting it into pieces. Also, when it looked like they would finally get back on topic, the ''same two posters'' began to bet large amounts of money on whether or not one could close an iron pot. ** Could they? * [[{{alliterator}} This Troper]] on the message board for [[http://www.marsinvestigations.net MarsInvestigations.net]] (where the articles would get edited) once saw a thread about the FAQ degenerate into being about ''Rosencrantz And Guildenstern Are Dead''. Heads. Heads. Heads. ** Hmph. ''Pragmatism.'' Is that all you have to offer? *** You seem to have no concept of where we stand! * The Hookie Dookie Panic forums went left field by second post. One guy announces he was going on a trip, and the others (including

myself) start a literal flame war. Other fine points include no use of Dragon Skin armor, burning bunnies. Hell! I threw facehuggers on people in the Christmas thread. * This troper belongs to [[http://forums.khaoskomix.com this]] webcomic forum where for reasons unknown this happens to almost every thread. One of the worst offenders started out as a complaint about a disease, discussed similar diseases for about 2 pages, then derailed onto the importance of caffeine, sleep and food, people's avatar images, and finally which fictional deity is cooler or could kill the others. ** This troper used to be a top poster and doesn't remember that thread. Elaborate? * On a NaughtyTentacles message board a troper other than this one frequents, a thread in the "find someone to set up a scene with" forum was derailed by the question of whether a a she-male [[HornyDevils succubus]] would actually still count as a succubus, technically count as an incubus, or be something else like say possibly an omnibus. ** Technically the demons known as 'Succubi' and 'Incubi' are named not after gender but position ('lies below' and 'lies above') so a shemale of that demonic type would be named based on what position they took during coitus. 'Lies beside'? ** MadeOfWin. *** Wow, those [[http://images.asia.ru/img/alibaba/photo/51686317/Omnibus.jpg omnibuses]] are pretty damn sexy. * This troper finds that on her home forum, MontyPython quotes are an excellent way to change the subject randomly when a topic has [[YouHaveOutlivedYourUsefulness outlived its usefulness.]] Or [[RuleOfFunny when it hasn't...]] * This troper likes plain old dill pickles. Sorry, fancy kinds. ** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9lmQFB_fDc "!selkciP tohs I !selkciP tohs I !selkciP tohs I"]] * There was this one forum where somebody completely forgot the {{MST3K Mantra}} and talked about [[SonicTheHedgehog Rouge the Bat]]'s fate in [[MarioAndSonicAtTheOlympicGames a crossover minigame collection]]. [[SnarkBait As you'd imagine,]] [[{{Narm}} nobody took him seriously,]] so what did we do? Took the thread in completely different directions, of course! * [[{{Nine}} This troper]] frequents [[http://forums.megatokyo.com/ this forum]] where certain threads can end up going into tangents, like photography or even different types of meat. One of these forumgoers is actually called [[MeaningfulName Tangent]]. * There is a thread in the [[strike:EGS]] Mayhem board that went offtopic in it's ''first'' post. It's still running, at around 2000 pages. ** Closer to 3000 by now. * This troper frequents a message board for fans of a certain band. A running joke is that by the fifth page of any topic, it will have degenerated into either 1) debates about which member was better looking when (said band just passed the decade mark), 2) natter about Harry Potter, or 3) politics. Some threads can make it to ten pages of comments without falling into Off-Topic Hell, but not many.

* There was a thread on a forum [[{{Azvolrien}} this troper]] frequents which went off topic on the third post. Appropriately, the thread was called 'too easily distracted'. * This troper saw a thread with the first post about abortion turned into a thread about beans in chili in the second post, probably to avoid a FlameWar. Oddly enough, that thread wound up lasting longer than most flame wars did. * A ''SuperSmashBros Brawl'' forum site began a thread on tiers, which eventually degenerated into reply after reply based on the [[MemeticMutation/VideoGames meme]] "That (X) is a pretty cool guy. eh kills (Y) and doesn't afraid of anything." * [[http://www.badmoviezone.com/ The B-Movie Message Board]] has specified topics for this, the "Random" threads. That doesn't prevent it happening to other threads, but it helps. * This page is now about people who do this in real life. Like me. I think it comes with being a bit of a CloudCuckooLander. Have you ever noticed how when you're going home from somewhere, the songs on the radio stations always sound less upbeat and more mellow? ** Or how in the winter, whenever a Beach Boys song comes on, the air seems to feel a little warmer *** Do their Christmas songs count? * [[{{Shini}} This troper]] has been accused of being this repeatedly, but most often, it's because she's a bit of a Cloudcuckoolander who can do a Seven Degrees of Kevin Bacon with all kinds of topics. ** speaking of which, why Kevin Bacon? Why not Miss Piggy? *** Seven degrees of Miss Piggy Bacon? You are a sick, sick troper. ** Also, it's ''six'' degrees of separation, not seven. * At a forum ThisTroper goes to, on the local Spam Boards rule list, Rule 'Train' states "All spam threads must be derailed. It's law." And the rule was a quote of something that ThisTroper had said. * [[{{Yoshi348}} This troper]] remembers one instance in which a thread that was definitely starting to go into a political FlameWar was spontanouesly and intentionally shut down by a bunch of people posting as much {{Squick}} as they could find, all out of the blue. It was ''glorious'', somehow. ** Also, this same troper wonders why TroperTales still use the ThisTroper conciet even though it's all about personal experiences. This troper now demands discussion here about this subject. * Awkward zombie threads often fall under this. http://www.awkwardzombie.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1494 that thread used to be about burn after reading * This troper has gone to a couple of forums where the acceptable method of stopping an unpopular poster is to post the lyrics to Linkin Park songs one line at a time. * A forum this troper used to frequent explicitly had a thread called "Random Thoughts and Ideas" which was explicitly for these random kinds of postings. The thread reached a truly epic 1000 pages before the forum was hacked and it was lost to history. Another forum she visits does something similar, only theirs is called "Random Neuron Fun." ** In a more straight usage, a thread originally about funny game screenshots on the same forum degenerated into a discussion of weird

foreign delicacies. After it got back to the topic of screenshots, it fell apart again into a debate about the merits of {{Shipping}}. * [[PaulPower This troper]] does it ''all the time'' and considers it a fundamental character trait. But enough about me, let's talk about hamsters. * This troper attends an imageboard for comics where a thread was derailed by a single mispelling that spawned a rather large Velociraptor who solves crimes along side his french maid. Also, it went from religion in comics to sex with Mary poppins in about 100 posts, with 4 or 5 topics in between. * This troper was around when the accepted way of dealing with trolling on a particular board was to talk about waffles and post recipes for them. Most of the recipes were quite good, too. ...this page is now about waffles. (#) ** These ones got peanuts 'n' soap in 'em! * [[{{Hinoa}} I]] tend to do on purpose in order to derail a sucky thread, with my most common left fielder being "this topic is now about pants, and why we hate them." ** [[http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/shropshire/7585098.stm Lloyds apparently doesn't like pants]]. * [[JethroQWalrustitty This Troper]] was having a discussion on... something on a forum, but at the same time, was discussing wherther there was any Black Panther pop music alongside the original topic. In case you wondered, none that TT and his friend could think of. [=MC5=] came closest. * This troper tends to ''be'' the LeftFielder. Admittedly, more in a chat context than a forum one. * [[MightyKombat This troper]] can proudly proclaim that the [[http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/gentopic.php?board=2000381 Naruto board on GameFAQs]] is NOTORIOUS for this. For example, Captain_Luke, KisAtchi, ChetleyDew, [[CloudCuckooLander LightningHero]] and many others. For eample, a topic discussing whether [[{{Naruto}} Pein]] was broken suddenly made like a train and got derailed VERY badly into a flame war about whether Kakuzu damaged Kakashi with a lightning attack or not. This troper was left wondering "What do Kakuzu's Gian attack and Kakashi's gloves have to do with Pein being broken?" ** A Flame war can also derail a topic pretty fast enough if it's started by [[SmallNameBigEgo Yamato77]], who literally thinks he's the best debater EVAR. Hell, ANY single VS topic at all can end up in flames faster than you can say "Only [[TheKingOfFighters Kyo Kusanagi]] can start forest fires!" ** And [[ItGotWorse It just got worse]], ladies and gentlemen. This troper once again braved the GameFAQ Naruto boards and noticed a topic on whether Pein/Pain was a rip off of Gaara before the Timeskip or not. By the SECOND page, Topic Derailment happened so fast it could have outstripped {{Sonic The Hedgehog}}. By the SECOND PAGE ITSELF, they were talking about Chocobos, topless girl photos and who was the biggest e-bully on there. You read it [[http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/genmessage.php?board=2000381&topic=47 255011 here]], ladies and gents, a Naruto topic gets derailed so badly, it made [[MightyKombat This Troper]] LOSE FAITH in humanity. If one is brave, one can check out the

[[http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/genmessage.php?board=2000381&topic=47 255011 beginning of the decline of humanity as a competent species here]] ** Would you believe that what you thought had gotten worese [[ItGotWorse GOT MORE WORSE?]] [[http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/genmessage.php?board=2000381&topic=47 303981 This topic]] What went wrong with it? At first it was this entirely innocent discussion about what would happen hypothetically if Kakashi Hatake had two Sharingans and Uchiha blood. One post onthe first page was worrying but by the SECOND PAGE, THE SECOND FREAKING PAGE OF THE GODDAMN TOPIC, it was now about black people and the history of racism. Despite many tries by the posters who remembered what the damn topic was about in the first place, in the end, the mods locked it and the Topic Creator had to make ANOTHER topic with the exact same name and descriptio. Yes, [[ItGotWorse it got THAT BAD]]. There's a reason why [[MightyKombat This troper]] only uses the site for [=FAQs=] now. * I have an interesting example ({{NSFW}} text in spoilers) A thread on 4chan, a guy asked [[spoiler: "When I took a shit, I got up off the toilet and saw yellow liquid in the bowl. I didn't piss, should I be worried?]] but the image he posted with it was of a train. The next poster said "Wait, hold up. Is that train real?" The next poster said "I [[spoiler: fucking]] love trains! Posting a picture of another train. The guy after him "This thread is now about trains" Some 50 posts later the OP breaks up the train related discussion with a cry of [[spoiler: "Just tell me why there's yellow liquid coming out of my ass!"]] to which the next poster said "Not while the issue of the train is unresolved!" ** Here's proof: [[http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/trains.jpg]] * This troper is pretty much the embodiment of this trope, seeing as his mind works on two tracks. He will always have two streams of thought, and both of them will be very hard to move. It is why, after five minutes analyzing Watchmen with a friend, he completely diverted the discussion into a discussion about Deathnote. * One thread on the Geist-Panik forum went from discussing the current comic, to a necromancy argument, to a necromancy fight, to bashing [[Twilight]]. The thread has pretty much derailed, crashed horribly, and exploded. * One particularly hated troll at a board I visit became the victim of this. All of the regulars got so tired of his crap that any thread he posted would immediately be derailed, and everyone else would go along with the derailment, while the rest of the board remained on topic. Good times. * [[JET73L This troper]] tries to avoid it on internet fora, but he and his entire family are {{Left Fielder}}s in regular conversation. Talking with a particular person, the entire conversation can get so far out of left field that it falls off the top of the bleachers behind the right foul line, keeps going to the next town, and ends up in that ballpark where the left fielder ''there'' tries to throw it in for the out. Metaphorically. Please excuse any incorrect baseball terminology.

* [[http://www.tcodforums.eeveeshq.com/showthread.php?p=368732#post36873 2 This]] used to be about a mock-write contest thing. [[http://www.tcodforums.eeveeshq.com/showthread.php?t=9122 This one is still going.]] * This troper is also notorious for doing this in real life and on IRC. It comes from a diverse set of interests, an overactive imagination, and a tendency to be thinking of half a dozen things at once. He's gotten blank stares from many of his classmates, all of his family members, and most of his friends at at least one point. It doesn't help that he tends toward cloudcuckoolander, so not only is he lobbing things out of left field, they're coming from vast, untapped reserves of left field. A prime example was a lengthy discussion of One Piece that diverted into penguin mating habits by way of Greek mythology. No, I don't even know how these things are connected. * This Troper is horrible to talk with in chats/conversations because she tends to go onto a WikiWalk without any of her friends knowing and then randomly spouting whatever was on her mind that only somewhat relates to the topic, but to her it makes perfect sense. She wonders why her friends put up with her. * This troper and her friends have been known to do this, though normally only to each other. The ultimate Left Fielder moment, however, has to go to a friend of my cousin's boyfriend. My aunt (the mother of the cousin) was at a party to meet said boyfriend for the first time. The friend walked up to her and, without so much as introducing himself, said "So...what do you think of midgets?" * One thread on Facepunch randomly went from "Generally just Fucking creepy stuff thread" to chain posting lyrics from the theme song of TheFreshPrinceOfBelAir. I joined in [[RuleOfFunny for the hell of it]]. (Un)fortunately, it was broken when someone posted "Stop." [[http://www.facepunch.com/threads/963016-Generally-just-FuckingCreepy-Stuff-Thread?p=28636591&viewfull=1#post28636591 The first post of the chain]] Go back to [[LeftFielder Everything Is Better With Monkeys]]. * I disagree. Monkeys don't make very good pets. Potatoes, on the other hand... ** I ate a potato once. It was okay. I would much rather have been playing Boggle, though. *** But Boggles taste awful. **** Not with a little salt. ***** I prefer dill. It makes everything taste nice and tangy. ***** See, I prefer bread-and-butter. Unless we're not talking about pickle chips. Thick, crunchy slices of pickle, that is, not salt-andvinegar crisps. Say, are you the troper in the main section who was talking about liking dill pickles? Must remember to check the edit history before too long. ****** [[TheAngryVideoGameNerd Shit Pickle. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit pickle. Pickle pickle pickle, shit pickle.]] ****** But why check history when you can have a GuideDangit? ****** [[NoIndoorVoice WHAT'S GOING ON?!]] ******* Just a game of baseball, [[WhosOnFirst also your name is now]] [[IncrediblyLamePun The Doctor]]

****** Now see, I like pickles well enough and all, but not as much as I love olives. God, I fucking love olives. Who else loves olives? ******* Are cherries a kind of olive? If so I like olive pie. ******* Well, they both have pits. ******* Tar also has pits. So Tar's a kind of olive then? ******* I hear Egypt is nice this time of year. ******* You hear wrong. Antarctica's where it's at. ******* It's cold and very blue there. Speaking of blue, if someone has heterochromia, what do they put down as their eyecolor on their licenses? ******* They would put [[MindScrew Banana]]. ******* Why Banana? Why not Plantain? ******* Because everyone loves Bananas, where as Plantains are an aquired taste. ******* I don't like bananas :( ******* Have you tried different kinds? My favorite are tangerines. ******* Tangerines are good. A cat is fine too. ******* And speaking of cats, aren't the clouds lovely? ******* NO. ******* Well, I know SOMEBODY who isn't getting any cookies. ******* Good. I wanted cake. ******* But [[{{Portal}} the cake is a lie!]] ******* OrIsIt? ******* [[ItGotWorse and speaking of cake...]] ******* [[OverlyLongGag ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!!]] ---<<|TroperTales|>> %comment% Man, was this even worth it? It's not like there was much content to separate this from...

LegacyCharacter * This troper has played several versions of Pokemon, and has always''always''- named the FLY-er quasi-starter [[{{Redwall}} Warbeak]]. * [[PentiumMMX2 This troper]] tends to recycle names for his characters in various games; with [[FullmetalAlchemist Edward]] and [[PokemonSpecial Crystal]] being among the most used. * This troper has a weakness for one of his characters in particular and often uses her in fantasy settings, dating all the way back to Baldur's Gate 2. Her personality and appearance always shift ever so slightly from game to game to fit the setting and my own evolving tastes. At this point she hardly even resembles the character she started as - but by now, she's an old friend. * In a real life case, there was a stray black cat that would come to our house that we would feed. We named it Vincint (yes, after the TimBurton film) and he was, seemingly, very old and was.....ugly as sin. One winter later, he stopped coming. We assumed that he died in the cold, but a few months later, a new cat came along who looked almost identical to Vincent, but was thinner and younger looking. We decided that this was this cats stray child and has earned the name

"Vincint Jr." * ThisTroper's name is Samuel Richard James III,from his father who was a Jr.One thing this troper has noticed,was that most of the generation all have had [[ChaoticGood problems with the law,but are in their own right,good and kind people.]] * In my Pokmon games, I will ALWAYS catch a Farfetch'd(well, in the games it is in)and call it [[MemeticMutation Leekspin]]. * Does that fact that this troper and his uncle are almost exactly alike? * In a World of Darkness game, in a medieval Setting that this troper GM-ed, the characters were the son of a nobleman who have the skills, but won't inherit since he wan't the first-born. A priest of huge Inteligence and strong faith, a nun who was a pastiche of [[buffy The Slayer]] and... a 500 years old witch. Of course, the witch was a legacy character. None of the players didn't knew that. None of the players still don't know that.

Leitmotif * This troper once got an impromptu leitmotif as any time he'd come into a room where his freinds were one would queue up a loop of the opening riff of Crownless by Nightwish. Hilarious in that one time he actually managed a Kramer slide into the room as it was playing. * "White Shadows" by Coldplay describes this troper's life to a dot. As such, it's become his leitmotif and favorite song. Funnily enough, it annoys his almost-girlfriend to no end. * This troper and his friends once decided to do a little series of plays where they would interpret original characters but with their own personalities. We also got to choose or own leitmotiff. Mine? [[CowboyBebop The Real Folk Blues]]. * This Troper's leitmotif is the Russian song"Song of the Volga Boatmen" becaus of its sullen, powerful tempo and the {{Determinator}} lyrics. * RayAyanami, at any given time, has at least one song he thinks of as his theme song. For 2009 (or at least the Spring 2009 semester; this troper is quite indecisive), his theme song is [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8DJIO9X498&fmt=18 "Days"]] from ''Pop'n Music''. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXeDqyOwmoM&fmt=18 "Unlimited"]] is a runner-up and will probably be his Fall 2009 theme. * In a case of SoundtrackDissonance with This Troper (A pacifist), [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vAga2AjfZlg The God Hand Credits song]]. Mostly because my wrath, while not violent can be [[TheChessmaster Somewhat like the various forms of killing in the song]] * AstraKiseki doesn't tend to notice themes, but fuck, [[{{Touhou}} Voyage 1969]] and [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_gHaxtMwzU Heut is Mein Tag]] are... pretty damn fitting for her sense of awe and hope. * A [[RunningGag recurring topic]] on a forum this troper goes to involves thinking of theme songs to associate with us or with characters that [=RPers=] use. A common selection for me is the instrumental version to "It Doesn't Matter" from [[SonicTheHedgehog Sonic Adventure]].

* It's quite easy to tell when my school's resident BunnyEarsLawyer is coming - for a few minutes beforehand you hear him singing "Happiness Is A Warm Gun." * LadyNorbert is very close to her neighbor's teenaged grandchildren. For some reason, anytime she's driving and has one or both of them in the car with her, Daughtry's "Feels Like Tonight" will come on the radio at least once, usually more than once. (The first time they all went on a day trip together, they heard it four times on different stations.) * With me, it's more of a Leekmotif.God, Leekspin is like my signature.That and Vamo'Alla Flamenco. * This Tropette always has songs from CharlieAndTheChocolateFactory [[EarWorm stuck in her head]], and sings them ad naseum. * [[AXavierB This troper]] constantly hums [[MonsterClown Dimentio's]] theme from ''VideoGame/SuperPaperMario''. He also likes to sing ''Poor Unfortunate Souls'', ''The Phantom of the Opera'' and ''Bust Your Windows'' randomly. * This troper is listening to the late great Warren Zevon's "Lawyers Guns and Money" right now and it is better than sex. * [[{{Lemurian}} This Troper]] experimented with background music during him and his friends' last round of DarkHeresy. After a few rounds, our Inquisition-group's leitmotif was Judas Priest's Hellrider. And yes, it was [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome awesome]]. * [[{{Crion87}} This troper]] has the song ''One Second of Insanity'' by The Butterfly Effect (an Australian band) as the theme song for his adolescent years. He also has a number of theme songs for various people in his life, mostly due to mental association: ** His father: "If I Could Fly" by JoeSatriani (he remembers his father enjoying hearing the song on the CD) ** His OlderThanTheyLook [[{{DragonLady}} Eurasian]] [[{{TheFundamentalist}} fundamentalist Christian]] ex-girlfriend: "Deceiver" by Disturbed (he was seduced by her under false pretenses) ** His current girlfriend: "The One Thing I Know" by Kate MillerHeidke (he had an epiphany about that song upon hearing it and realised that he should stay) * Unwell by matchbox 20 is this Troper's. It's...fitting. ** [[{{onyhow}} This troper]] too...he thinks. * This troper often finds himself humming Karl Jenkins' version of [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RirEqehfsg&feature=related Dies Irae]]. * [[ARandomSerf This troper]] tried to figure out leitmotifs for himself and his friends a while ago. He ultimately decided that his was [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGmEPp28QOg A Nightmare Before Kekfa]]. * [[{{Superslinger2007}} This troper]] puts [[DarkKnightTrilogy the Joker's music]] to [[HigurashiNoNakuKoroNi alleged psychopaths]]. Quite fitting. ** His [[StarWars Vader]] CostumeCopycat character obviously uses the Imperial March. And then there's songs like "Welcome to My Life", "It Ends Tonight", and "No Easy Way Out". * This troper always plays IronMaiden's "The Clansman" (based on Braveheart) when a Senior of his goes with facepaint to cheer for his

team. For a "love story he didn't have", the troper used to play "LoveHurts" songs (including that one, of course). Ever since she started a relationship, it's "[[StarWars Duel]] [[OminousLatinChanting of]] [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotAwesome the Fates]]" (you need The Force at these times). He also associates some people with certain songs - best one being a really cute IceQueen with "[[TheRollingStones She's So Cold]]". * [[{{Midna}} This troper]] hums and/or listens to "[[TheLionKing I Just Can't Wait to be King]]" so often, it might as well ''be'' his leitmotif. * [[{{Brosandi}} This troper]] has two, one of which kind of petered out: I Will Possess Your Heart, by Death Cab For Cutie; and I've Got Your Number, by Passion Pit. The first one used to play everywhere I went: in airports, in cars, in shops, in restaurants- and would start as soon as I walked in the place. It was eerie. The second one has become a Lietmotif mainly because my best friend put it as his ringtone for my number, and eventually people started associating that song with my appearances. * This troper uses the third movement of Postcard from Singapore as her leitmotif. * [[MmmKay This troper]] made her leitmotif by entering her name on [[http://nosuch.com/music/matic.htm this site]]. It's pretty. * [[PentiumMMX2 This troper]] frequently changes his theme song to fit whatever is going on at the moment. A few examples include: ** When in a hurry: Bombing Mission -- ''FinalFantasyVII'' soundtrack ** When I'm about to have an epic showdown against someone in a multiplayer game: Champion Battle -- ''{{Pokemon}} Crystal'' * For a couple of years at college, [[MasterInferno I]] had a friend who would play a C diminished chord on the piano (music nerds know what I'm talking about) every time I entered the choir room. * This Troper's Letimotif is firmly Mozart's Turca Alla Rondo,and any variation of it.So much that it is shared with his Author Avatar [[CatsAreMean Zap]]. * In high school, this troper and a few friends assigned a leitmotif to a hard-ass history teacher. We would play 'End of All Hope' by Nightwish on our cellphones when he walked into the room to start class. He was a good sport about it, apparently aware of how demanding his curriculum was. * This troper has taken on Green Day's American Idiot as his personal Gospel. He leans on Jesus of Suburbia most of the time, but when he gets pissed off, you better watch out for St. Jimmy... * Whenever this troper sees [[DetractorNickname Darth Cheney]] on TV, he starts humming the Imperial March. * There was a boy in this Troper's class who was known for being rather intelligent. In history class, every time he answered a question three other boys would break into a barbershop quartet style "Ha! Ha! Ha! TOBIAS!" Unfortunately, this only really worked the first, spontaneous, time, as afterwards the boy doing the third "Ha" always seemed to be distracted and missed his cue. * This troper will always try to put in "Holding Out for a Hero", as performed by Jennifer Saunders, into the player when doing something crazy-stupid while playing her WorldOfWarcraft paladin.

* This Troper comes up with Leitmotifs for quite a few things. His personal Leitmotif is Schizophrenia by Jukebox the Ghost, and his friendship with the girl he has a ''HUGE'' crush on is Waiting on the World to Change by John Mayer, after she sang it while he played the youtube video on his laptop to make more people donate to our Make-AWish fundraiser (He also mumbled along a bit, and sang the lines he knew).~ :3 * This troper has many fitting Leitmotifs for her OCs, including Paralyzer by Finger Eleven (Kazuma), Alcohol by Barenaked Ladies (Thierry), Alejandro by Lady Gaga (Aki), and Yours to Command by Rupesh Cartel (Kartik). However, this troper's Leitmotif is any song by Flogging Molly, especially Drunken Lullabies. * This troper believes his to be similar to the [[MegaMan MM2]] boss battle theme. * This troper's footsteps occur exactly in time with the [[StarWars Imperial March]]. He hums it pretty much everywhere he goes. John Williams, how can ever I thank you? * [[@/KatanaCat This Troper]] doesn't have any specific song, but I often hum various cheery sounding themes from games and such. [[SonicAdventureSeries Believe in Myself]] and [[SonicTheHedgehog2006 Dreams of an Absolution]] are favorites, [[EarWorm as is the opening theme (or sometimes ending theme)]] for ''TokyoMewMew''. Off the game/anime theme, there is Beautiful World by Utada Hikaru, another favorite. It was far more specific in the past though: When I was about 9 it was Igor the Flying Fox from an environmental song CD, then I didn't have one, then for a while when I was 12 it was [[SonicAdventureSeries His World by Crush 40]], and then His World was replaced by Makenai ai Ga Kitto Aru by Yukie Nakama. * This Troper's Leitmotif is [[{{Scorpions}} Here I]] [[TheDrifter Go]] [[AloneInACrowd Again.]] * ThisTroper's friend was writing a book where all the characters had their own theme music. He considered putting in the introduction or at certain points in the book [[CrowningMomentOfFunny please listen to this song while read this part]] * This troper can honestly say that you'd recognise him a mile away because of his habit of humming songs rather loudly when he is walking. He has recently started using "Nightcrawler" by Judas Priest, although old favourites included "When The Wild Wind Blows" by Iron Maiden, "Rhapsody In Black" by Symfonia, "God Save The Queen" by The Sex Pistols and "For Whom The Bell Tolls" by Metallica. ---Go back to {{Leitmotif}}~ &#9834; ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LemonWackyHello [[redirect:TroperTales/IntoxicationEnsues]]

LemonyNarrator * One of my classmates wrote a story in which the narrator got in

arguements with himself. It was epic. * This troper tends to milk this for all its worth when playing ''FateStayNight''. Everything from a snooty British accent, to the occasional bad pun, to giving insulting replies to the characters before clicking to see what Shirou's actual replies are. * After many false starts and wrong turns in the search for a style, the style of [[ThomasCastle this troper]] eventually evolved into something matching this and, due to his recent turn into philosophy and oration, he can pull it off quite well nowadays. * When my theater troop did {{Assassins}} our Balladeer was played by a woman. At the end, she didn't get run off stage so much as chloroform'd and dragged off by the Proprietor, adding lots of UnfortunateImplications. [[CaptainObvious It was way creepy.]] * This troper has a distinctive writing style. Most of his stories has a male, main character overflowing with this trope. Their narration will be peppered with references, as though the story itself wasn't filled with enough ShoutOuts. This is mainly because this troper tends to embody this trope in real life. When asked to be the narrator for a play, characters are forced every 5 minutes to break the 4th wall to stop this troper from hanging lampshades all over, and snarking away. Again, because his occasional bouts of sesquipedalian loquaciousness and not-so-occasional willful destruction of the WillingSuspensionOfDisbelief. As such, this troper is thinking of doing an abridged series or two, but he lacks the patience and will to do so. That, and all the good ones have been taken, mainly by FullMetalChao and his friends. * Tropers/SunnyV does this in RealLife. She talks openly about tropes in her life, goes on strange tangents in her mind about events that happened months ago, and occasionally looks away from the person she's speaking to, in order to give the effect of [[PostModern speaking to the audience.]] ** I'm so glad I'm not the only one that does that. I was starting to worry. * Ironically, this troper has a friend who does this in her limes. She pulls it off though, talking to the reader and faking-out readers with promises of [[BoysLove smex]]... but then suddenly diverting the story in a "JK, they didn't fuck!" fashion... only so much cooler. * My brother frequently asks me to film his sporting events so he can watch them later and see how he did. When he watches them he ends up paying to much attention to my [[LemonyNarrator awesome commentary]] than the footage * One of this troper's stories features a female example of this. She mostly exists to get the characters back on topic, admonish them for [[NoFourthWall breaking the fourth wall]] yet again, or to point out [[GenreBlindness how stupid they're being]]. She also balances out the madness of [[AnthropomorphicPersonification the Story herself]] and [[AuthorAvatar the Author]]. ---It should be most interesting to note that returning to the [[LemonyNarrator main article]] is a common activity performed by tropers who finish reading TroperTales. Whether this is some impulse brought about by evolution, or the machinations of a [[HPLovecraft

Blind Idiot God]] who isn't actually that blind or idiotic, is up to speculation by the only beings capable of comprehending such a grand cosmic mystery: the [[OmniscientCouncilOfVagueness Council of]] [[EverythingsWorseWithBears Ursa]]. Unfortunately, they really don't have the time to ponder on such pointless things as the compulsive activities of such primitive primate species. They're too busy [[ThirtyGambitPileup plotting against each other]] for control of the world rabbit supply. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LesbianJock * At this troper's school, the head coaches of the men's and women's volleyball teams had been together for years. It was the school's best-kept secret. ** Wait, so were both of the coaches women, or was the female coach in the closet about being straight, or was it just a typical secret office romance type thing? *** Both coaches were women. Boys' volleyball was a club sport, so the assistant coach for the girls was the head coach for the boys. Didn't stop us from being among the best in the nation... * ThisTroper. I swim and I practice Taekwondo. * The swim team. Its a breeding ground of HoYay and LesYay, just because of the fact that there are people walking around in skimpy clothes during early morning practices where inhibitions are nonexistent thanks to sleep deprivation. I also sense some [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean funny business]] going on between the two female coaches. * Girl's hockey teams are also breeding grounds for LesYay. You've got a {{nakama}} of well-muscled, athletic ActionGirl types, and regardless of who's actually lesbian/bisexual, there's occasional funny business to go with their general all-American (or all-Canadian (or all-European)) wholesomeness. (And by association, this troper's Girl Scout troop was made up of lesbian jocks, bisexual art students, AmbiguouslyGay genki girls, and poor, confused asexual me.) ** Dang, that kind of {{nakama}} sounds familiar...Are you [[Tropers/SunnyV me?]] ** Jealous. My Girl Scout troupe was totally lame compared to ''that''. * My sister plays for the local girls football team. It is a well known but attempted to keep hidden fact that about two thirds of the women's team are lesbians, with each other, sometimes all at once in the locker rooms. The funny thing is the way the girls try to keep this knowledge from their parents. * My high school had an example of the ButchLesbian P.E. teacher subtrope: while it was highly rumored, and said teacher fit the stereotype appearance, a certain incident made me give it more thought. One day when going to a math class, I came across the P.E. teacher and the math teacher (similar in looks), and the former joked to me that she had repeatedly asked out the latter to no avail. I'm

not sure how much truth there was to it, but joking or not, I heard no real sarcasm to it. (And admittedly I was a little more concerned why I, a very confused girl at the time, was the one told...) * My middle school gym teacher[6th and 7th grade; i was in band for all of them but it made me exempt from 8th grade gym due to schedule constraints] is a lesbian[yes, she fit the stereotype]. Thus, she is not allowed in the girls' locker room. And, turns out, the other middle school gym teacher molested his daughter and other students. Yeah. Clearly, the latter is in prison or something. * This troper has had two sorta-experiences with this. A butchish lesbian in his high school creative writing class took ju-jitsu, but she wasn't a jock. More like a nerd/artist who thought being able to fight would be useful. And his girlfriend, while neither butch nor a lesbian, works as a pasta chef and has noticeably muscular forearms. One belligerent customer accused her of being this because of them. * At my school, the [[RugbyIsSlaughter rugby team]] has a token straight girl, [[TheLadette who has a]] [[EightiesHair mullet]]. I also once heard a rather amusing statement: "the only people allowed to address a group of girls as 'ladies' are female gym teachers." See, if you're the type of woman who gets really annoyed at being called a "lady", imagine a totally unladylike middle-aged gym teacher calling your all-female class "ladies" and see if you get annoyed. That's right, you don't. * I had a BrainBleach moment with the P.E. teacher at my high school. She was married, so there wasn't a lot of gossip about her. I went to the big college about 30 miles away, which was probably where the nearest gay bar was to my little home town. I find out it's a gay bar this way: I'm going in the bar next door, and coming out the other was said P.E. teacher and most popular girl in my class (who also went to the big college). Nothing very unusual about that, but the P.E. teacher was dressed way feminine, cleavage down to here, slit skirt, teased hair, etc. The popular girl had cut her hair short and was wearing a suit and tie. I guess we know who wears the pants in that relationship. * This troper has played soccer most of her life and nearly half of the goalies she's been on a team with she's later learned are lesbians. She wasn't really surprised. ** Well, they are pretty good at keeping balls out of their net. That's just good strategy right there. *** That's not how I'd expect it to go; the goalies are, after all, the only women on the field who ever have balls in their hands in soccer. * Averted here. I'm a very unathletic lesbian, but, in highschool, others would try to invoke this trope by picking me for team sports really quickly. They very soon found out that I'm a massive wuss and would get by ass kicked by the straight girl jocks who actually played the damn sports. Ironically, the only lesbian athlete I personally know is actually in one of the most stereotypically 'girly' sports imaginable - figure skating. ** Yep. Lesbian figure skater makes for a fun combination. But lots of pretty girls in various states of emotional distress and cute gloves is not a bad thing. Not at all.

* This troper's sister-in-law counts as one of these, despite being constantly annoyed by each other, and several fights (mostly getting my ass handed to me), sports is one of the few things we can agree on. * Heavily subverted at my school - the girls who do sports, especially field hockey, lacrosse, or cross country, are the stereotypically straight popular girls who all seem to have boyfriends. If there are any lesbian jocks here, they're closeted and don't fit any general characteristics of the trope besides liking sports and girls. The known lesbians (or more commonly, bisexuals) tend to be the crazy music/arts kids like myself. (The female gym teachers fit the trope much more closely, but nobody has any proof for them.) * The Evergreen State College Womyns Rugby Team (aka "The Evergreen Hellcats"). One of the best in the nation, utterly brutal on the field, and might have a token bisexual on the bench. The Queer Alliance was good at telling freshmen gay and bi women that the rugby games were good for scoring dates. ** Whoa, that's an awesome coincidence. I'll have to let my lesbian friend whose going there in the fall know that. ---Head on back to LesbianJock ladies, and I don't want any funny business in the locker room. <<|TroperTales|>>

LessDisturbingInContext * This trope's creation was inspired by an incident that took place while watching the first ''{{Spider-Man}}'' movie: Someone walked in on me watching it right at the final fight scene, and noted the shocking brutality of the scene. * One troper's mother walked in on ''{{Heathers}}'' during the shooting of the jocks in the woods, and was appalled by it, where she'd most likely have understood the over-the-top violence if she'd watched from the beginning. * This troper's mother was removed screaming from ''Pinocchio'' almost immediately when she was taken as a young girl. Why? They were let in early, with the previous showing still going on, and in the heat of the battle with the big angry whale. * This troper's mother walked in on her watching ''A Very Long Engagement'' during one of the war scenes. I told her it was a romance. * This troper almost gave up on ''{{House}}'' immediately after his first impression, since the cold open to "Love Hurts" portrayed Hugh Laurie as [[MagnificentBastard all bastard, no magnificence.]] * You want to know what's fun? Having your mother walk in on you watching ''DarkerThanBlack'' and explaining to her, after she hears Havoc's [[EatsBabies "drinking the blood of children"]] line, that it's ''not'' a {{Gorn}} show. ** What's even more fun is when you're trying to explain to your mother why you like it and that not everything you watch/read/whatever is sick and disgusting, only to have your little brother chime in,

"What about that girl [[PowerIncontinence burning all her friends and family to death]]?" Gee, thanks. ** Just look innocent and hurt and say "But that was hilarious!" Works for this Troper. * Nearly every time this troper has watched ''TheWall'', someone has walked in during the racier scenes (such as the "Young Lust" sequence), and I actually wish for once it could at least be during the more artful yet symbolic sequences instead, so they'd hopefully get a better impression of what the movie is like. * As a musical referrence, [[Main/{{The Beatles}} Strawberry Fields Forever]] was about a million times less creepy for this troper to listen to, once she learned that the words slowly being said at the end of it were ''not'' "I buried Paul" after all, but a very stoned John Lennon repeating "Crannn... berry... sauce...." over and over. * This troper had this happen when his mother happened to tune into the middle of an ''{{Inuyasha}}'' episode where the titular character went berserk and butchered a large number of bandits. Not only had they been built up as monstrous individuals, but the loss of the protagonist's self-control had also been foreshadowed. Combined with false preconceptions, the mother came to several inaccurate and disturbing conclusions. * {{Firefly}} piloted right before the pilot of John Doe. I watched both, but my mother was only interested in John Doe, so we watched it first. However, our DVR caught the tail end of the "The Train Job," so the first image of Firefly we saw was some guy being kicked into an engine turbine. ** [[CrowningMomentOfFunny How is that possibly a bad thing?]] ** [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome That scene should be what sold the series to your mother!]] * This troper's friend's mother had to come in during Robin Hood:Men in Tights when Robin is being forced to "loosen" his tongue, and also that scene in Slumdog Millionaire(you know which). * This troper has had experience with the roleplaying-related variation; walking around the neighborhood talking animatedly on my cell phone about characters' exploits rather alarms the locals, not helped by the fact that there's a lot of affectionately shocked exclamations of "oh, [[{{Watchmen}} Adrian!]]" as if the person being discussed is on the other end... * This Troper and her husband were discussing our spoiled, ill-behaved nephew while waiting for a cab. When we got in the cab, I was saying "Well, I was the one who pulled the gun out of his hand since you and your brother were too weak willed to do it!" Nephew is 6 and the gun was a toy that didn't belong to him and had been told repeatedly to put back. * This troper's had two instances of this. First, I was watching ClerksII for the first time, giggling at the profanity-laden rant spewed by Randal about how gay Frodo and Sam are in TheLordOfTheRings, and my father chose that precise moment to walk in. That was embarrassing. The second time was on devArt, where, thanks to a complicated in-joke with a friend involving a MSTing and a Current 93 song, I [[RapeAsComedy responded to her comment about a character getting raped with "LOL"]] and only realised later how this would look

to people who weren't in on the joke. Oops. * I was watching {{Paprika}}, and my mother walked in during the MindRape scene. I had to exaggerate my reactions of "How gross!" to stop her possible questions, and it worked. ** Are you me?! The same thing pretty much just happened, she walked in on the part when Chiba had been ripped out of Paprika's body and had the vine things wrapped around her... and going down her throat. While naked. "Oh mom! Wow what is even going on here! This movie is so bizarre *looks disgusted*" That took some fast talking, and that was when she was distracted by being on the phone. * This troper had to very nearly duct tape her best friend to a chair to get her to sit through the first 15-odd minutes of Elfen Lied. She loves the show now. * This Troper accidentally {{Squick}}ed out her sister while explaining ShugoChara. Apparently when I said "The villans steal people's [[OurSoulsAreDifferent eggs]]," she thought of something ''[[NoPeriodsPeriod ENTIRELY DIFFERENT.]]'' * This troper and her friends are all fans of GingaNagareboshiGin and GingaDensetsuWeed. The main character of the latter is named Weed (as in a wild plant). Sitting in a restaurant and discussing the shows, this troper made the comment, "I just really love Weed." A man sitting nearby suddenly looked up and gave our group an odd look. * There's a particular scene in a {{Crossover}} I'm writing where [[FullmetalAlchemist Edward Elric]] runs out of the infirmary at [[SoulEater the DWMA]], referring to [[MadScientist Doctor Stein]]: ** "If that guy touches my automail one more time, I'll sue for sexual harrassment!" * This Troper walked into the kitchen just in time to hear her dad say, "It lubricates the hardness!" It turned out he was talking about fat in ham. * A RealLife variation of this happened to me when I was still in school. My friend and I were asked to come up with our class assembly, and decided to make it an anti-violence-themed one with a staged fight (partly to show the stupidity of fighting, but really because she'd just learned how to perform stage fights in drama class and we wanted to show off). We were rehearsing the fight scene in the library, when a girl from one of the younger classes came in just as we'd gotten to the bit where I threw my friend against the wall. The look on her face before she ran out the room again suggested that she didn't know we weren't really fighting... (Thankfully, I think the Headmistress let her know what was going on before she panicked too much!)

LethalChef * Most of the time I'm alright with my cooking. Just don't eat the cherry torte. Or the ratatouille. * I once accidentally liquified a muffin. Yeah. ** [[FlatWhat What.]] *** That makes less than sense. How do you ''liquefy'' a '''MUFFIN'''!? **** [[BeyondTheImpossible Same here. Put a mini-muffin in a microwave for a minute, and...muffin puddle.]]

* Don't ask me how this was possible but this troper once filled the entire house with smoke while trying to make instant oatmeal. INSTANT OATMEAL! * When this troper was little, he and his sister would save the leftover melted icee we would share whenever we went to the movies. Afterwards, we would use the melted icee as a base for what we called "potions." We mixed in whatever we could find into it: ketchup, salt, baking soda, chocolate syrup, mustard, and anything else we could get our hands on. Then we both had to taste it... I'm pretty sure that both of us spat it out into the sink every single time, but we just kept on doing it... ** [[{{Tropers/Ventisia}} This Troper]] can cook nowadays, but my friend and I used to make... really weird foods when we were little, and something similar to that was something we managed to concoct once. It had ketchup, pickle juice, soap... and then we tasted it. I did something similar with my current friends at a restaurant just for fun not too long ago- we mixed all the dressings at the salad bar, salt, pepper, garlic butter... it actually wasn't too terrible after we tasted it, too. * This troper took a lot of home economics, but when you combine a smidgen of culinary knowledge with a self-admitted absent-minded professor mentality, it can and did lead to disaster. I actually added a quarter cup of salt to bread dough instead of a quarter teaspoon once. Yuck! * This troper's father has some pretty infamous dishes to his name -such as coffee cake containing actual ''coffee'' (both in ground and liquid form), charcoaled pancakes that looked exactly the same as the day they were first made when pulled out from behind the couch months later ([[ItMakesSenseInContext it's a long story]]), and cinnamonflavored chili con carne. (And not just in the "gentle dash of cinnamon" style. He put in cinnamon in ''place'' of chili, so it was really cinnamon con carne.) He's better now. Usually. ** Hey, the label on the cinnamon shaker ''suggests'' putting it in chili con carne. I've done so myself, and it tasted...more like curry than chili, but not bad. *** That kind of chili actually has a name, believe it or not -[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cincinnati_chili "Cincinnati-style".]] * A relative of this troper makes apple and Mars Bar sandwiches. ** Sounds delicious. Chocolate good. Caramel good. Apple ''good''. *** Mostly to prove that the "laws" of physics get a little more bendy in the kitchen, this troper regularly consumed yogurt sandwiches in junior high school. The specific brand of yogurt was of a fairly thick consistency, and the wheat bread seemed to absorb a good deal of the loose moisture. This troper has absolutely no idea what was going through his head when he invented the things, other than possibly "There are no clean bowls, but I'm hankerin' for some yogurt. There's some bread..." **** Someone else eats yoghurt sandwiches? Excellent! (Flavoured is especially good.) They laughed at me,oh yes,they laughed... then gagged. Fools. * Subverted: [[DarkInsanity13 This troper's]] friends seem to think she's a terrible cook, either due to her lack of care for all things

feminine, or due to the fear that she may have poisoned the food on purpose. Really, she's not...with desserts anyway. ** On the other hand, while accidental, her mother once put turmeric instead of cinnamon on an apple crisp she was making. Luckily, she realized her mistake and managed to wash it off. It still managed to turn out pretty good. ** Same troper's father once suggested her aunt was this as a joke when she served a punch with cream soda. They had only had the pink kind of cream soda, and so looked a little off. Said father commented "You know it's not a good sign when the host serves Pepto-Bismol before dinner." * This troper once tried to use a tortilla shell in place of a hot dog bun. Without changing any other components. It was ''awful'' and got thrown in the garbage half-eaten. (At least this troper was the only one who had to eat it.) * This troper wouldn't describe himself as Lethal, per se; it's just that other people don't seem to enjoy Scotch Bonnet peppers as much as he does. ** Now that's MY kind of cooking! I tried habaero peppers in an omelet once before, and most of the time my chili has at ''least'' three kinds of peppers. * This troper once put too much salt on his curry. He tried to balance it out by adding cinnamon. [[spoiler:It didn't work.]] On the other hand, he used to be infamous for enjoying bananas with hot sauce. * Dessert Pickles. That is all. * [[JapaneseTeeth This troper]] knows several people like this. My friend's father and brother have been known to make such monstrosities as fish-and-chocolate-chip waffles and jalapeno-fish-potato quesadillas. His uncle has also been known to eat pickles...dipped in pudding. ** His mom has also told him about an incident where a Home Ec student used a full bulb of garlic rather than a clove. The room apparently took several days to air out. *** This troper did that, too. I didn't know that a clove was what you called the little pieces inside the bulb. He was making pasta sauce and put the whole damn thing in. Apparently, garlic is an EXCELLENT preservative. Mold won't touch anything with that much garlic in it. Apparently, it's not fit for human consumption, either. It's still in the fridge for some reason, though. * [[AckSed This troper]] used to believe that being forced to eat your own cooking would make you a better cook. It doesn't. It does, however, lower your standards of food to a merely nutritional level i.e. "I'm pretty sure this won't kill me." and [[ExtremeOmnivore "If I can keep it down, it's food."]]. I restrict myself to following recipes or cooking stews, but I've slipped up even then - people still talk about the chick pea, mango chutney, banana and natural yoghurt combo I made that the book reassured me was "absolutely delicious". '''''Eeeent!''''' 'Course, preceding that was a sentence wondering why no-one else had come up with it before... ** Found the note I'd made right after I 'cooked' that monstrosity:"Don't ever make this again. Tastes and looks like vomit.".

** As words on the screen that doesn't sound so bad. Except maybe the chickpeas. *** The worst thing about it was the sweetness/saltiness of the mango chutney. Combined with the brown rice I was eating it with,it was haaaarruuuckk... sorry 'bout that,I'll get a shovel. * This troper, while making pancakes, once caused the batter bowl to melt while the cakes failed to assume properly coherent molecular bonds. I blame quantum physics. * Real-life example: this troper's husband. Confirmed by his family and close friends, because he absolutely refuses to cook anything for me. I don't want him to, either, not after hearing about the biscuits that came out resembling hockey pucks. * This troper's cooking abilities seem to vary from producing pretty good, perfectly edible food and creating something charred and unrecognisable. * This troper doesn't tend to add extra or incorrect ingredients by mistake, thankfully, but tends to be very forgetful of what proper ingredients should be included, or which instructions go when. For instance, said troper once forgot to add noodles to a dinner. A pasta dinner. A ''pre-packaged'' pasta dinner, with the bag of noodles sitting mere centimetres away from the pot. Cooking is therefore an infrequent activity, at least for anything beyond "microwave for three minutes and serve." * This troper is less known for being lethal for the QUALITY of his food, but instead the cooking. Please keep in mind most of these stories are from his childhood, but they include: Placing a metalrimmed plate in the microwave, a tupperware container on a stove top, forgetting to shut off the stove and filling the room with burning rice smell. Though he has one on his mother, who had a habit of placing eggs to boil, and wandering off to forget about it. Burnt eggs look STRANGE in that context. ** This troper set the electric kettle on fire. * Strawberry chicken. A few ''minutes'' later, it came back to haunt me. Horribly. * [[SeanTucker This troper]] tried to invoke this trope by making a chicken sandwich with such bizarre condiments as spinach dip, hot sauce, and Heinz 57. It was... actually pretty nice, even though it's probably a heart attack on two slices of bread. I call it the [[TengenToppaGurrenLagann Kamina]], because it is made of win and gar. ** [[AckSed This troper]] would like to introduce you to the Blowtorch sandwich: English mustard, piccalilli and salad cream/ketchup,with the other side sprinkled with malt vinegar. One bite will burn through the gummiest of blocked noses. A favourite of my childhood. * This troper cooked fish sticks once, or at least tried to. She messed them up, and she happened to cook them so badly even her dogs wouldn't eat them. * This troper's mother: ** once served egg soup for ten meals in the space of a week. ** thought bread topped with ketchup and Velveeta, then heated under the broiler, constituted "pizza". ** regularly made potato salad with Kraft Thousand Island Dressing instead of mayonnaise. To this day I '''hate''' Thousand Island.

* This troper has ruined cereal. Somehow, some way, ''cereal''. ** You added the milk first too, huh? *** It's not impossible; This Troper once tried to "drink" Cocoa Krispies out of a glass... I ended up drinking all the milk and having a soft, gooshy mass of cereal at the bottom. Yum. * This troper can make pizza pretty reliably. However, my last attempt at making cookies not only tasted like I imagine styrofoam does, but were a faint pink in the middle. None of the ingredients were red or pink. Then there was the time I screwed up instant pudding... ** I once had instant pudding come out rather badly (it remained a beverage). I blame the use of soymilk instead of dairy milk for that one. Thought it would work, but it didn't. Live and learn (and the cat helped consume the mistake). * Subversion: When he was 6, this troper got it into his head that a cake would be delicious if it combined all his favourite foods bizarrely, his mother endorsed this dangerous notion. This resulted in a normal chocolate cake... except it contained chicken and potatoes, amongst other things. He took it to school and fed it to his year one class... and it tasted good! Most likely mother convinced him to forego the extras, but she denies it. * Mustard + toast = disgusting. ** This troper with bizarre eating habits found this out the hard way. Although, in my defence, mustard, toast, gravy and cranberry jelly seemed like a good idea at the time.. * This troper does... wrong things. Like ketchup and toast. Or PB+J on garlic bread. Or a belief that butter and salt belong in black tea with the milk and sugar. Or tapioca pudding used as dip for corn chips. But those were ''okay''. This troper, however, doesn't want to '''talk''' about the time he tried to make fruit juice with a blender. It's not that I'm a bad cook- on the contrary, I do rather well, but I have occasional loose ideas about taste combinations. ** the PBJ on garlic bread sounds like it might be good, I love garlic bread. ** The butter+tea one might not be so bad either - some Tibetans put yak butter in their tea. The salt, however... * In junior high, this troper was friends with a girl who couldn't make Jell-O set. Eight years later she attended a wedding where this girl was a bridesmaid and had also made the cake. Naively, the troper thought her culinary skills must have improved to take on a project like that. They hadn't. * This Troper enjoys cooking and finds it fun...except she's no good at it. The only time I made something edible was my first try! Then everything went downhill. The most memorable screw-ups are as followed: ** Adding a cup of every ingredient in brownie mix instead of teaspoons and tablespoons. Those turned out as rubber stuck to the pan. Also got burned, me not the brownies. ** Scones that came out of the oven covered in mold, if that was really what that green stuff was. ** Making a souffle that came out as charred coating at the bottom of the ramekin. Got burned that time too. ** Accidentally letting the udon noodles boil for 12 hours.

** Breaking our top-of-the-line Kitchenaid microwave while trying to heat up a soft pretzel. ** Hell, she can't even leave the kitchen with a bowl of cereal with leaving behind a trail of Cheerios! *** This troper would like to know how on earth someone can ''accidentally boil something for TWELVE HOURS''??? * This troper comes from a long line of chefs and restaurateurs, and as such, she and most of her family members can cook quite well. Her ''sister'', however, is a notable exception. One of her most infamous stunts involves frozen pancakes; another time, she was warming oil in a pan. Said oil ''caught on fire'' because she had the stove up too high. Both times, she came close to setting the house ablaze, and she was officially banned from ever attempting to cook again after the last stunt. * This troper considers her spaghetti sauce to be the best ever. Others disagree. Apparently a whole chopped onion, three segments of garlic, a spoon of ginger and two teaspoons of pureed chilli per serve, plus a liberal dash of curry powder, with some tomato for colour and body is an acquired taste. ** ... THAT SOUNDS FUCKING DELICIOUS. ** [[ThisIsSPARTA I SECOND THAT MOTION!]] ** We have a motion and a second, all those in favor, DIG IN! Though I'd up the garlic to half a bulb... * This troper knows someone whose attempt to cook bacon ended up with repeated activations of the room's smoke detector, and a burning oil smell very like the one made by another friend's car. * This troper can cook competently, but also has an exotic taste for the bizarre, resulting in 'snacking' being done out of view of others. Note: When eating pickle stackers & whipped cream sandwiches, eat them quickly or the pickling juice will make the cream curdle. ** Above troper's family members are all wonderful gourmet cooks, but all suffer from the problem of occasional absent-mindedness. Like not paying attention to the amount of brandy going onto the banana's foster. (The house was sold with the black spot still on the ceiling.) Or, accidentally vacuum-sealing a pot shut. Or getting a necktie stuck in a pasta press. Or, her own attempt to read the side of a cup the wrong way around and spilling the contents on her feet. * I recall a story about my teachers daughter who had apparently put something other than cooking oil on some chicken. I don't remember what it was, but whatever it was, the chicken was bubbling and apparently poisonous. * This troper's mother almost ''butchers'' desserts. For example, her pavalova is as hard as a rock and dryer than the Sahara desert and her flan looks like roadkill and tastes like dirt. On some occasion she's been known to almost ''murder'' other meals as well such as dinner. Also his father has been particularly bad at making meals- especially breakfast, the cereal looking like it's melting and tasting like sludge being on example. * This troper is fairly competent at cooking. Except for that one time he underestimated the amount of chili pepper to put in pasta sauce. And that time he left the butterscotch chips in the hot cupboard. And that time he mixed up Celsius and Fahrenheit when cooking a lasagna.

* This troper's grandmother burnt nearly everything she baked or fried, including brownies. No, . * According to this troper's father, his grandmother (or my greatgrandmother) was the worst chef ever. She could screw up heating a can of Spaghetti-Os. Apparently, most of the problem came from when she'd take expired things and say, "Oh, it's fresh! ^_^" But she's somewhat justified in the fact that she spent part of her adulthood in the Great Depression, where she had to be ''happy'' to find anything to eat, expired or not. * ThisTroper is more or less average in cooking itself. Her problem is that she's got a shitty attention span and sometimes ''forgets'' she's left something cooking and goes make other things. Some days ago, she was so absorbed in other stuff that she forgot about the meat in the pressure boiler... * [[SpikyK This troper]] has managed to set ''instant ramen'' [[StuffBlowingUp on]] [[MadeOfExplodium fire]]. No, '''[[ I MEAN IT.]]''' He also always enjoyed a soft drink his family all referred to as "suicide"; Coke plus Diet Coke plus Mello Yello plus Sprite plus Dr. Pepper, occasionally with a shot of carbonated fruit punch, all preferably from a soda fountain. Now this troper wants some. Remind him to make it the next time he goes to a fast-food joint. ** Sheesh, and I thought my husband's Taco Bell drink mixture (Diet Coke, Baja Blast Mt. Dew, and Code Red Mt. Dew) was unusual! I'm also still puzzled by ''how'' you managed to set ''ramen'' on fire. *** Actually, suicide is Copyright 2008 by New Jersey. 2 12 year old boys on a college campus decided that if sodas can sometimes mix well, anything can. Not only did we mix Coke, Diet Coke, Mountain Dew, Red Mountain Dew, Water, Milk, Root Beer, Chocolate Milk, Lemonade, Tea, Coffee, and Fruit Punch. Not only did it look horrendous, but it formed a mousse like texture at the top, and may have created singlecelled life. He vomited, but I paid him for betting him to do it. *** I'm ''really'' not sure how I did it. I've never managed to do it again, either, but it still makes for a really interesting story to tell. And a good way to get out of cooking things! ** I drink combinations like that all the time. It has a taste of coke. *** Really? It always tasted more like one of the citrus sodas, to me. ** [[{{Tropers/Ventisia}} This Troper's]] friend mixes every single soda available at the fountain in equal parts when we go to get a Polar Pop. ** Iced tea and Sprite makes a pretty good combination. We call it an [[NoCelebritiesWereHarmed Aaron Pammer.]] * This troper is less of a lethal chef and more of an average one with huge fluctuations in quality. He's made well received oatmeal cookies, and most of what he cooks is edible, but he has been known to start fires in toaster ovens and burn even simple instant dishes. * When this troper was six, her and her brother made 'Eggs Ranchero' for Father's Day, but we had no salsa. Cue every pepper powder and hot sauce in the house going into two small eggs. The spice-eggs ratio was, I think, 8 to 1. My father dubbed them 'Poisoned Eggs' and we've made them with all the hot sauce we can find each year afterwards until my brother moved out and I started sleeping in until 2 in the

afternoon. Just thinking about it is making my lips start to tingle, actually. * This troper has on occasion managed to burn rice, but once when she tried to make chili con carne, she managed to burn chili powder in a hot pan, then added onions. This pretty effectively cleared the kitchen of all occupants. People were coughing for a good 20 minutes. * This troper is usually a pretty good at cooking and baking, but he has a fondness for doing weird-esque things, and also sometimes experimenting. Outtakes include lasagna that looked like porridge, yet tasted and felt mostly normal, more lasagna which this time looked normal, but now essentially one third of it was porridge, minced meat that tasted quite a bit like fish, a cake-ish thing that... well... looked FAR from normal, and tasted pretty weird too, and tip of the iceberg, steak that was dubbed a biological weapon by everyone who tasted it. The last one I claim was due to sabotage. * [[DesertDragon This troper's]] ex-boyfriend, bless his heart, was a HORRIBLE cook. In the eight months that we dated, he has managed to break this troper's good spatula ''while making pancakes'', literally burned soup, and made rice with the consistency of sand the first time and mashed potatoes the second. He made spaghetti that was okay once, considering that it was just tomato paste and meat. It wasn't long before this troper realized why he was often content eating ramen...uncooked. (In case you're curious, this troper can throw down in the kitchen. He gets it from his mama). * This troper's father once managed to burn ''mashed potatoes''! * This troper had burned soup, water (That kettle's bottom was glowing red by the time this troper got to it.), and ruined cheese 'n chips and instant coffee before. In this troper's defense, the can that the coffee came from doesn't actually say how much is too much. ** Subverted, this troper actually bakes things quite well. Strange. * Here's a subversion; this troper would be considered a good cook if she weren't so lazy and almost never does so. But played straight wherein she likes to 'experiment'. Apparently soy sauce ''doesn't'' improve the flavor of scrambled eggs; who knew? ** I'm not sure why that wouldn't work (I would try it), but I'll take your word for it. Of course, this comes from someone who likes soy sauce and grated Parmesan on popcorn. ** Wait, what? I love soy sauce and any form of eggs. Practically everyone I know does. Regional tastebud variations? * This troper's grandmother often remarked that eating burnt food would make your hair grow curly. Probably not coincidentally, she and all her children have curly hair. And an ex-gf, while the results of her cooking wasn't lethal, was dangerously accident prone in the kitchen. This troper had to disable the fire alarm anywhere she lived, but the food was excellent, provided no one had to evacuate during the process. * This troper was once at a camp where every group had to cook something. His group picked pan-fried chicken. Everything went well until the ''oil caught on fire'', whereupon somebody tried to cover the pan. After about half a minute, the flames were still licking around the edge of the lid, so another member of the group got impatient, dashed to the pan, and ''smacked the lid away''. The

resulting column of fire was about double the height of the nearest (one-floor) building. And after that, the chicken was still raw on the inside! (We dubbed it Chicken A La Hiroshima.) * [[LeighSabio This Troper]]. Can and will burn everything. I've burnt a grilled cheese sandwich, I've burnt franks in blankets, and I tend to have to ask how to do simple things like put water up to boil. * Pretty much ''any'' depiction of a school cafeteria in Western media is going to feature the products of a LethalChef. In this editor's experience, TruthInTelevision. ** And in this troper's, who at one point smashed a window pane with a BOILED POTATO! ** WeirdAlYankovic did a song about this, aptly called "School Cafeteria". Sample of the lyrics: "Today in the school cafeteria / They introduced a brand new malt / It's called boysenberry dysentery / Please pass the salt" ** Our chicken nuggets were always kind of bouncy. And you'd be lucky if the pizza even looked like pizza. ** Subverted with [[ManCalledTrue this editor's]] schools. Of course, it helped that the place was so crammed with ProductPlacement that there was a guy in a Red Baron mascot outfit walking around it one day. ** The food at my former elementary school once gave my friend ''food poisoning''. I could also kind of feel food poisoning. ** This troper credits the horrible cafeteria food at his elementary school for his ability to eat ''and enjoy'' just about anything, up to and including peanut butter, ketchup and hotdog sandwiches. It did put him off peas and sauerkraut for years, until he found out that they actually are good when ''properly'' cooked. ** This troper's elementary school once served a so-called "cherries jubilee" which looked delicious and tasted exactly like vomit. Also, the rice at the school was well known - not only was the ice-creamscoop-shaped mass completely solid and able to be lifted and turned upside-down with a fork in one piece, but it was often tinted with a ''neon greenish hue'' this troper had never seen before or since. ** This troper's Hall of Residence once served up a chilli. A couple of the students smelled it; one ate some. Then, to a man, the whole lot stood up and left the dining room in disgust. The Hall management offered a grovelling apology the next day. ** ThisTroper's uni cafeteria is an odd variation. On one hand, they sell decent sandwiches and coffee and the French fries are quite edible. On the other, the mashed potatoes and the chicken dishes... eeeeewwww! ** This Troper had the bad luck of going to a school where what the high school didn't eat that day went to the middle school the next. Thus, from fifth through eighth grade, we had soyburgers that you could stretch, load up with half-hard peas, and use as slingshots. And that was the ''best'' thing on the menu. ** This Troper and all she knows generally refer to the dining hall food as 'Doof' because it is the opposite of food. We're only half kidding. ** This Troper was nearly rushed to the hospital after discovering that the cafeteria soup station's "vegetarian corn chowder" contained

''shrimp,'' which she has a potentially lethal allergy to. The only person angrier than she was was the cafeteria's manager ... who shared the same allergy. ** This troper has quite a few stock jokes he used to make about the food in his schools' cafeterias. The ones he can remember right now are: *** Vegetables are supposed to be green, and meat should be brown. Not the other way around. *** How they classify ingredients: If it might be edible, they call it meat. If it's probably inedible, they call it a vegetable. *** The soup of the day: Cream of used gym socks. (This troper still has yet to figure out what that soup was supposed to be, but remembers that it was pale and smelled burnt.) *** Everything has the same flavor: Burnt. *** Also, on one occasion, this troper saw the cook taking out a tray of pizzas from the oven, ''with the plastic wrap still on''. ** At [[@/{{endlessness}} this troper]]'s university, the cafeteria is pretty much that. The rice is always extremely dry, the meat is either burnt or undercooked and is often extremely fatty, the vegetables taste strange, and there are urban legends of [[HighOctaneNightmareFuel body parts having been found in the food]]. * This Troper has no idea how to cook beyond "the directions are on the side of the box", but still manages to not set everything on fire. [[NoodleIncident Except that one time with the toaster. I wasn't even using it at the time, seriously!]] However, when he cooks rice and beans for himself, he likes to... experiment. Minced onions, salt and pepper, garlic, [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment onions]], [[FireBreathingDiner more chili and curry powder than is safe for human consumption]], and [[RuleOfThree more onion]]? Not actually that bad. [[{{Understatement}} Of course, he likes onions. Other people might not share said love of onions.]] In fact, [[{{Subversion}} he himself is hesitant to cook for anyone else... because he's afraid he'll overdo the spices, and someone ELSE will suffer for it.]] It's probably a good thing he's a BigEater, so he'll always eat his own cooking. * This Troper likes to drink Deit Pepsi and Lemonade, If mixed properly, it actually tastes okay, but too much lemonade and EEW!!! * A former girlfriend of [[{{Cobrafire}} This Troper's]] cousin accused me of being this despite the fact that I can cook almost anything when given instructions whereas she ''ruined every pot in my aunt's house trying to boil water''. * My dad once mistook a box of unsweetened baking chocolate powder for instant hot chocolate mix. The end result tasted more like chalk water than anything else. * This troper thinks every good cook is entitled to at least one major failure in the kitchen. ** Her mother's: something in a pot on the stove was burning so she dumped it in the sink. The burning stopped but the pot collapsed in on itself and had to be reheated before it regained its shape. ** Her brother: mixed up Celsius and Farenheit temperatures when making bread. ''The Joy of Cooking'' said the water for the yeast should be a hundred degrees, and it was. The bread was the texture of

a limp dishcloth. ** Herself: you probably don't need a whole package of Thai curry paste when making enough curry for two people. In her own defense, she found it quite tasty. Her mother ate two bites, followed by half a container of yogurt, and complained that her mouth was still aflame. * This troper's friend/charity case (long story) sometimes forgets how to cook and ends up eating undercooked ramen while talking about how delicious it is, and once made himself extremely ill by eating sloppy joe filling that he apparently couldn't tell was several months expired (think about what months-old sloppy joes look, smell, and taste like). His father isn't any better, and made the whole family sick by undercooking the Thanksgiving turkey while trying to grill it on a barbeque grill. ** I'm usually a pretty competent cook, but once found myself very nearly serving turkey sashimi at Thanksgiving (salvaged by slicing and microwaving). Come to find out if you're using an oven bag, you really shouldn't put the lid on the roasting pan, because the assembly doesn't heat anywhere near as quickly. * This troper was at a buffet restaurant with a bunch of friends, when one of us had the bright idea of mixing up all the sauces available (not just tomato and chilli, but soy, sambal (lots of peppers and prawn paste), hot sauce, and I think a little bit of garlic from somewhere). The resulting mess was used as a punishment for a subsequent 'guess the number' game. * [[MutantRancor This troper's]] father has yet to live down the time he put sugar into a pot of gravy he was cooking instead of salt. * While this troper's father is actually quite good (although his habit of preparing food he knows damn well his kids hate and then getting huffy when the compliments don't flow is a bit annoying), he will never live down the Napalm Curry incident. (Even though he insists the bottle was labelled "mild", it ended up ''infernal''. This troper is unapologetically hazy about that evening, but he seems to recall that an entire tray of ice cubes was used in the next half hour). * This troper is mostly lethal for forgetting about things on the stove, and is perfectly capable of putting something up to cook, and then going off to watch a movie for an hour and a half. Incidents include: ** Boiling eggs for an hour and a half, then having to chisel them out of the pot, and try to get them off the ceiling. Twice. ** Leaving a keilbasa in a covered pot of water, fortunately off the heat, to be found two days later. Mom screamed. ** The infamous Corned Beef Incident, which will remain a {{Noodle Incident}} to you. * [[DialgaX This Troper]] once made some homemade vanilla soft serve ice cream. Unfortunately, there was a hole in the inner container and concentrated brine ended up getting into the ice cream. The resulting ice cream looked disturbingly like spooge but didn't taste that bad, unfortunately eating too much of it causes nausea. ** A friend made the same ice cream with too much vanilla extract. One bite caused vomiting. * I'm absent-minded and consider recipes more like guidelines. Add a

fondness for experimentation, and you get curry brownies. They weren't all bad, really. At least I didn't think so. * This troper's brother is generally a really good cook,especially when it comes to desserts. However several years ago there was a incident where he and his friends created something called Haribo Pie. Basically boredom + pastry pie shell + a bag of Haribo Starburst (gummy sweets to those who don't know) + an oven = something which stuck to the inside of your mouth and burnt it if you ate it hot and set rock solid so that it was impossible to eat (or extract the spoon that was left in it) if you let it cool. * This troper once got "teaspoon" and "tablespoon" mixed up while adding salt to cookies. People threw up after eating them. * Raekuul's cookies make little girls cry. * [[{{Irothtin}} Charcoal, anyone?]] * [[{{Whitewings}} This troper]]'s sister once shared a house with a woman who could literally burn water. Somehow. This housemate managed to burn hot dog buns while leaving the wieners half-frozen, and even cooked a TV dinner according to directions - and still managed to burn the chicken and leave the potatoes frozen. Fortunately, she was aware of her ineptitude and left the cooking to others. * One of [[{{DatabaseError}} this Troper's]] friends once made "chili" by combining pasta sauce, queso dip and seasoned ground beef. Just the scent of it was enough to send people running to the restroom. ** This same friend also made a bacon cheeseburger pizza without first frying the bacon. Needless to say, it contained a truly hideous amount of grease and the bacon wasn't fully cooked by the time the pizza was ready. ** Oh, and the same troper's brother is a lethal chef by way of some strange teaspoon/tablespoon dyslexia. I managed to stop him from adding three tablespoons of salt to a batch of cookies, but was not able to prevent him from ruining a coconut curry recipe with six tablespoons of ginger. * This troper blew up scones once. Also, one time when she was baking a chocolate cake it went green and bubbled over the top. ** [[FlatWhat What]]. * While being a generally good cook, [[PentiumMMX2 this troper]] has a love for experimenting. Sometimes, it leads to a great discovery (Dr. Pepper with fresh lemon juice is quite good), while sometimes it turns out terrible; like the time I tried to make an ice cream pie (To quote [[CodeLyoko Jim]]: [[NoodleIncident I'd rather not talk about it...]]) * Chocolate pudding with bits of bacon thrown in. It's delicious, but my god do you feel guilty eating it. It is the sweatpants of food, grossly socially inappropriate, but you like it. * In a nutritional science class (AKA over-glorified Home Ec) a girl made what I think were blondies. I took one, commented that it was okay, chewed for about five seconds, then ''screamed'' as the taste of salt suddenly exploded in my mouth. What do you know, no water in the room. God, the only thing worse than bad cooking is bad cooking ''in disguise''. Jesus, how the hell do you make delayed action bad taste? * I'm usually a fairly competent cook, but my take on buffalo chicken is [[BlazingInfernoHellfireSauce so spicy]], it made my younger sister's face come out in blotches. Now that's pretty damn near

lethal. * This troper is reminded by the quote at the top of the page of a story her mother told her once... of the ''free-standing spiced apple cider'' that her friend once produced one winter many years ago. ** [[http://www.burntfoodmuseum.com/exhibits_bfm/cider1_exhibit.html This, perhaps?]] *** Possible, but this troper ''did the same thing once''. * This Troper is actually a really good cook... Unless you want meatballs with your spaghetti and marinara. Which is exceptionally horrifying when you consider that I'm a third-generation ''ItalianAmerican''. * This troper is one of the "results look terrible, but actually taste fine" variation, especially when it comes to baked goods. * This Troper is eating the burnt remains of an egg she "fried" after scraping it off the pan and putting salt and pepper on it to make the burnt bits taste better, while trying to remove the smell of burning from the kitchen. * This troper once made mint cakes (it was a recipe in a book on pies. Don't ask why it was in a pie book) where he confused the frying pan for the required pan. The inside of the cakes was burnt to an extreme extent, but were still edible (just: it was like eating burnt toast, only with some mixed peel). Since that day, I've stuck to making the only thing impossible for me muck up: pasta (although, having had a better introduction to the pans, I might try making those cakes again...). ** Another two (this time, beverages) from the same troper: I once mixed a lot of fruit juices up with some milk. It was a few years ago (I think I was nine at the time), but I recall it being pretty good, although no one else in my family took me up on it (it looked like some form of purple sludge). I think they were relieved I didn't offer to give it to everyone over dinner. Finally, I have a habit of mixing a bit of every soft drink into a single glass while at a party. Since no one serves red bull or energy drinks at the parties I've been to, I've never made something I won't drink. Mind you, I have a strong stomach... *** Oh, I also didn't mention that my dad was once a chef (a temporary one, I think) and can cook lots of things very well indeed (although we have learnt since my original post that I am fantastic with a BBQ. However, a tip for fellow tropers: if you cook meatballs on metal skewers, don't try to shift them with your bare hands unless you like the smell of burning flesh). My sister is also a fantastic cook (she is skilled with cakes, but is a bit out of practice, having not made one for about two-three years). My mother, on the other hand...well, lets just say that, when I was on work experience, there was a reason why I decided to cook my own breakfast when we ran out of cereal... **** Now discovered that my mother is actually a reasonable cook (I was cooking noddles with mince: she not only told me (correctly, as it turned out, although it was still edible) that you needed more than just that to provide flavour, but actually helped me get the mince looking good). So everyone in my family can cook, just my mother prefers not to make meals from scratch, while everyone else generally makes things from scratch. Averted trope?

* Averted by [[{{Valbinooo}} me]], though my boyfriend claims that he can't cook and cites his inability to open those frozen pasta things[like Bertolli?] correctly[he told me he tried to rip open the bag xD and it exploded all over his kitchen] and the fact that he once made pizza for himself and burnt it to a crisp. He still ate it though. And he has a fondness for super spicy foods. I'll just let you take that to the logical conclusion. * This tropette happens to be a very good cook. Her sisters however...One has repeatedly microwaved things for the time recommended for the oven (Pizza rolls look like charcoal bricks after 15 minutes on high...) and managed to make chicken with blackening seasoning taste (and have the texture of) fish with cinnamon. The other just tends to forget things are on the stove...our house has many a pan with a black bottom to testify. * This troper's friend once said, after I served him a gooey, foothigh bacon-egg-and-cheese sandwich for breakfast, "If I'm ever on death row, I want you to cook my last meal." My cooking tastes fine, but will probably kill you. * This Troper's sister is a ''horrible'' cook. She can never get recipes to turn out right, and God help you if she decides to experiment with herbs! * While trying to make mini-pizzas, this troper discovered that he had no tomato sauce. He attempted to substitute this with ketchup. "They're both made from tomatoes!" ''Never again.'' * My girlfriend once wanted to make pancakes from scratch and had me look up a recipe for her while she was staying two days at my house. She proceeded to ignore the sugar and use baking soda instead of baking powder without adding an acidic ingredient to make it work like baking powder. I didn't try any, but she didn't eat more than two bites before throwing them away. The next morning, we found that a raccoon had attacked our trash can. He ate everything....except the pancakes. * This troper and members of his family tend to have one thing each that just spells EPIC FAIL, oddly, all in the same way. ** Me: I can't make any pie whatsoever. Any liquid in it evaporates, so I end up with the dryest pies ''ever''. I honestly don't know how it happens. I don't really want to try anything else after the exploding chicken. Which will forever be a NoodleIncident. ** First Cousin: She can't make pudding. It evaporates, regardless of how its made. I actually watched her make instant pudding that didn't need to be cooked, and it evaporated and made a brown splotch on the ceiling. ** Younger Brothers: They tried that mixing the drinks together thing, and ended up with something the consistency of marmalade. One of their friends tried it and said that it tasted of (best fit spelling) 'gwaurailbing'. *** And no, I don't have any idea why liquid seems to want to escape from us at all costs. * This troper messed up microwaved dumplings. * A friend of [[BlueGasMask This Troper's]] mum once came over to our house to cook steaks to lighten the cooking load. When we found out he was cooking the steaks rare, taking them off, leaving each steak for

10 minutes and putting them back on we asked him what the hell all the partially cooked steak was doing off the stove. His reply? [[MontyPythonsFlyingCircus "It's resting!"]] * [[Tropers/ZiggyStardustForever I still]] remember the time my younger sister ruined a batch of Kraft Easy-Mac by ''forgetting to add the water before microwaving it'' (how she managed to do that, I'll never know). The noodles were completely '''black''' when they came out, and the kitchen absolutely ''reeked''. My sister's own literal NoodleIncident. ** And for [[Tropers/ZiggyStardustForever my part]], while I'm pretty good with most things, I ''still'' can't cook custard without burning it. Not that we eat a lot of custard, anyway... * When making a recent batch of apple muffins, this troper had a case of this trope in neglecting to add the brown sugar the recipe called for. A regular batch of ten to twelve would be inhaled in a few short hours. In about the same amout of time the bleugh-batch was down only three, two of which were only half eaten. * I am really bad at cooking-tried to make fried eggs (they burnt to a black crisp that I had to scrape from the pan), bacon (set on fire), chicken (burnt and set fire alarm off). My friend is trying to teach me to cook, which could be a very impossible task. * Surprisingly, this happens to this troper when he microwaves pizza (Usually it's just the smell). He also disgusted some people with his garlic-salt, cinnamon, rosemary, and cake sprinkle pizza. * Once, back when I was about seven, I decided I was going to cook something for myself instead of bothering my parents (who were both busy in the backyard). So I microwaved a pizza. For the amount of time the back said it needed to cook... in the oven. Needless to say, I ended up with a charred disc, a ruined plate, ''tons'' of smoke (with the smoke detectors going off) and parents who were glad I hadn't hurt myself, but still would've preferred I'd just ''asked'' them for lunch. * My younger sister also had her lethal moments, probably because {{Pride}} and contrariness meant she kept rejecting every attempt our folks made to teach her. The highlight came shortly before she headed off to college -- as in literally ''days'' before she was going to move into her first dorm. While trying to boil water, she accidentally switched on the wrong burner, which she'd put some dirty saucepans on (instead of putting them in the sink). While Mom was able to quickly put out the resulting grease fire, my sister had already panicked and called the fire department. (On the plus side, they ''did'' bring in a huge fan to help get all the smoke out of the kitchen... though sis managed to dig herself deeper by drooling over the hot firemen.) To top it all off, when she mentioned the fire to her friends, one of them asked "What were you trying to do, boil water?" -- and she admitted that was exactly right. Apparently, they still [[NeverLiveItDown haven't let her forget that]], even though she's gotten better since then. * This troper is divorced, but back during his married days he had a sister-in-law who was this trope personified. She tried to cook instant pudding (with predictable results), destroyed his microwave making a frozen pizza, and damn near burned the house down when she

left the oven on overnight---thankfully with nothing flammable in it. * A few egg stories. First, this troper's sister has gotten into the habit of making scrambled eggs really whenever she's hungry. EVERY time, she somehow manages to get them to stick to a non-stick pan, to the point that when I wash the pan, I need to use a spatula to scrape the pan clean. This troper's response about the 5th time this happened? "DAAAAD! [Troper's sister]'s cooking broke physics!" He'd respond "[Troper]! You know better than to say that! The pan's covered in Teflon! She broke CHEMISTRY." *** Not the troper above, but if she hasn't fixed that habit yet, tell her to heat the pan before starting. ** When this (same) troper was a kid, he tried to cook an egg in the microwave. By this I mean I pulled an egg out of the carton, and put the thing straight in the microwave. His parents had to buy a new microwave. * This troper is a DELIBERATE lethal chef, after thanksgiving, he didn't feel like having turkey for another few weeks,so he shoved all the turkey in a bag, plus a few firecrackers. the kitchen had turkey everywhere in it for about a year. * My mother has served up broccoli covered in (accidentally) boiled slugs and caterpillars at least twice. Cue Squick. And hatred of broccoli forever. * I once went to a restaurant where all the food looked like it had been scooped out of a toilet. I honestly couldn't tell what some of the dishes were. We ended up chucking all of it into the big bowl of soup we'd been given and dared one guy at our table to drink it (he didn't - if he had, he'd probably have died). * I managed to light French toast on fire once. Don't ask me ''how'', because the stove wasn't up too high and I was watching it the whole time, but somehow there were flames. A lot of flames. I'm a terrible cook at the best of times--my husband actually won't let me cook anymore, because I've given us food poisoning three times--but incendiary French toast was a new high even for me. (I lit a pizza on fire once, too, but that was just because I put it in the oven and then forgot about it because the timer didn't ding.) * This troper's girlfriend, bless her heart. She could burn cold cereal. We once had to evacuate our apartment (which was currently housing seven or eight people) because she tried to make macaroni and cheese. The kind from a BOX. She has also killed four toasters since we met and once set a large pot of chili on fire. Don't ask how. She got it cooking, walked away, and when she came back you could roast marshmallows on it. * When this tropette was four, she wanted grilled cheese. Sequentially, bread, butter, cheese, butter, bread. Okay, she had a cheese sandwich. Then, of course, came cooking it. Naturally, put it in the toaster! Thank God her parents asked her what she was making before she could ruin the toaster. * Recently, I managed to make sludge in a coffeepot. SLUDGE in a COFFEEPOT. * After learning how to make a basic white sauce, this troper attempted to make alfredo sauce completely from scratch. While there weren't any spectacular fireworks to speak of, it had the consistency

of thin syrup and I had added too much flour to the roux. Pretty much the only thing I'm good at making from scratch is grilled cheese sandwiches, [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking and one of my favorite snacks is potato chips and ketchup]]. * This Troper once went to a restaurant that served soup. Said soup tasted like charcoal. * This troper once made cookies in food tech. She forgot to add the sugar, and then burnt them. After that incident, it was for the best that she dropped that class. * [[Tropers/NewKidOnTheBlock This troper]] baught a frozen pizza from the store and put it into the oven to heat it up. Unfortunately, I never heard the timer on the oven go off and after a few minutes, I forgot about it. I think it was about... three or so hours when I remembered it? * [[Tropers/{{SpiriTsunami}} This troper]] is generally the Less-ThanLethal variety, creating dishes that look like abstract art but taste exactly like what they're supposed to be. However, I've also had my fair share of frozen pizza mishaps--most notably when I forgot to separate the pizza from the cardboard that was inside the wrapping. (Although, on the subject of abstract art, any attempts at ''actual'' art will turn out ''exactly'' like putting a LethalChef in a kitchen.) * This troper somehow burned her FOOT, while making INSTANT. FREAKIN'. RAMEN. And the noodles STILL came out bland. And this happened about after she burned TEA. * This troper's finest moments in the kitchen include: ** Turning frozen Chinese-style rice into charcoal ''in the microwave'' (and stinking the kitchen out). ** Having a boiled egg explode in the saucepan. Not just crack. [[StuffBlowingUp Explode.]] As in, pieces of eggshell flying across the kitchen. ** Having a grilled cheese sandwich explode in the sandwich toaster. My sister said the toaster looked like something out of a horror movie afterwards. ** Setting a bread basket on fire. ** Cooking pasta that ended up part burned, part sludgy, part practically uncooked (that's what happens when you overcook pasta without using enough water). ** Making omelettes into scrambled eggs on a regular basis. (Troper's sister: "It looks like a map of [[LordOfTheRings Middle Earth]]! You can see where the Orcs have attacked!") ** Having a pork chop melt. Yes, melt. All the fat turned into sludge and stuck to the pan. ** Finding out I'd run out of sugar while making a cake, and using honey instead. Needless to say [[{{Understatement}} it didn't exactly work]]. * This troper once used a line in a fanfic that was partially based on an actual occurrence: peanut butter sandwiches that were somehow both soggy... and stiff and rigid. Served with burnt corn that was already cold. * This troper has a friend whose sister read about someone putting red pepper flakes on vanilla yogurt, so she tried it... and liked it. The rest of the family felt sick.

* A few of the posts on [[melissawiley.com/blog this site]] could arguably count... note the chai soup, for example. Or the mint syrup/yogurt/juice combo. Ew. * My friend once told me that she managed to make a cup of tea go green. Just a regular cup of tea. Subverted when I found out she was lying and just said that she couldn't make it because she didn't want to make the dozens of cups of tea our weekly games club goes through. * This troper's sister once managed to burn ramen noodles in the microwave. How did she manage this blunder? She forgot to add water. However, she has since improved and can now make rice on the stove without burning anything or setting it on fire. And she remembers the water. * This troper and her best friends just tried to make some microwaved chocolate cinammon cupcakes (since I don't own a freaking oven...) and managed to produce a batch of literal charcoal. And the smell... This troper's grandma will [[NeverLiveItDown never live it down]]. The other batches somehow became ''volcano'' chocolate cupcakes. At least they tasted pretty good. The other times this troper tried to cook, however.. ** Burnt omelets for dinner *** Soggy French toast * This tropette can't cook to save her life. I put stuff in the microwave and it [[StuffBlowingUp explodes]]. I'm also somehow capable of burning Chef Boyardee spagehetti w/meatballs. I don't even try to make cereal, it might actually just [[TheSimpsons burst into flames]]. * A subversion: not too long ago, this troper's mother decided to make a cup of coffee. And when she poured the coffee into the cup...[[MadeOfExplodium THE CUP EXPLODED]], hurling little pieces of glass right across the room. [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer I am NOT making this up]]. * My mom once accidentally put in too much spicy green curry sauce on some shrimp. I ended up eating food that was TOUCHING the shrimp, and then running around and frantically looking for water. * {{StrykerX}} Once managed to break a whisk and a measuring cup. I WAS MAKING CORNBREAD!!! ---Quick! Go back to LethalChef before you kill somebody with that pickle-olive-strawberry-maple-syrup souffle! ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LetThereBeSnow * ThisTroper lives in Gainesville, Florida, and it snowed on Christmas in 1989. The city has not seen any snowy days at all, twenty years later.

LettingHerHairDown * A sort of inversion: during seventh grade, [[LeyomiTheParodier this troper]] would generally wear her nearly waist-length honey-blonde hair in a loose, careless/casual/practical ponytail at the back of her

neck, or just leave it dangling down her back. Now, people always thought she had very nice hair (to the point that sometimes they would walk up to her and start fingering a lock of it). But on the three or four occasions when her [[HaveAGayOldTime girlfriends]] got ahold of her, they'd put it up in a ponytail near the top of her head, pulling it all away from her face and neck. And apparently it looked really pretty, judging by what they told her (and in that case they were not lying). So in this case it was a weird combo of BeautifulAllAlong and an inversion of this trope. * This troper has a bit more than waist-length hair. It is rather light and so gets tangled easily , so she usually wears it in a braid. Many of her friends invoke this trope on her if they feel like that. ** Are you my friend? I know someone who fits that description perfectly. And yes, we do invoke this trope on her. * This troper used this trope to great effect when her high school put on Lil Abner for its annual musical. She was playing the antagonistic head scientist, which was a male role normally, but she got the part because there were precious few boys who actually tried out for the play. The result was a character who came off as an uptight, plain, old maid Oxford graduate who did her hair up in a severe bun. At her last scene, the scientist announced that the town would not be destroyed (long story)...and this troper ad libbed, pulling her scrunchy out to let her nice blonde hair fall to her shoulders. Cue cheering from the audience and a spontaneous glomp from a fellow cast member who hadn't been in the know. * From what this troper remembers, her hair was ALWAYS tied back mostly because of primary school. Girls weren't allowed to let their hair down because of lice/nits. At least two/three years into high school (2009) she let it down and rarely has a ponytail. My hair was medium brown, long and curly/frizzy. Now it's straight, medium length and darker (due to never going outside, yep blame the computer). Much easier to take care of now. ---Go back to [[LettingHerHairDown the main article]]... but before you go, couldn't you just let your hair down.... My god! [[BeautifulAllAlong You're beautiful!]] ----

LiesToChildren [[AC:Real Life]] * Until you're taught European/American History in Middle/High School, you are told that Christopher Columbus was an awesome good guy who 'discovered' America. His criminal record and time in prison are often ignored. In reality, he instituted the encomienda system, causing the genocide of the original islanders. He also used his foreknowledge of an impending eclipse to terrify the native population. And after you learn how awful he was you also learn that this behavior was expected. And after you learn that the Queen was so horrified that she never let him go back; you learn that the only reason for her horror was that she wanted converts not corpses. The story of Columbus is like a

fucking onion. ** Another misconception fostered in schools is that the entire world thought the world was flat. Columbus thought it was round and proved it. This is incorrect; a great deal of the Medieval world knew the world was round. Columbus thought it was pear shaped. He was also convinced he'd found the route to India and threatened anyone who suggested he'd found a new continent with death. Columbus didn't land on mainland America either. And ''then'' you find evidence (quotes from his journal and an alteration to his family crest) that he knew perfectly well that he had discovered a new land mass, due to rivers too large for the land to be oceanic island as well as the local wealth being gold, not spice. Also take note that the Earth ''is'' actually slightly pear-shaped. *** Anyone wanting to explore the mythology surrounding Columbus--and similar topics--in greater depth, look for these books: ---> Howard Zinn's ''[[http://pegasus.cc.ucf.edu/~ncoverst/Zin.htm A People's History of the United States]]'' (Links to excerpt.) ---> James W. Loewen's ''Lies My Teacher Told Me: Everything Your American History Textbook Got Wrong'' ** Everyone knew the Earth was round back then, and they had a pretty good idea of how big it is. Rather, everyone who ''mattered'' knew the Earth was round. "Everyone" covers an awful lot of people who honestly did not know this, but those people weren't funding voyages to India. What Columbus was trying to prove was that the world was a lot smaller than they thought. The distance over land between Western Europe and India was known, and if it covered a greater percentage of the world's surface than was generally believed, then what was left over (the sea in between) was short enough to be crossed in a ship before it would run out of provisions. At any rate, although Columbus was kind of a dick and certainly was not the first person to reach the Americas from Eurasia, his discovery was news to Spain and set off a huge part of world history, and that's what is really important about him, not his personal life. * There's also the problem that, even after learning Columbus wasn't a good guy, most people still think he was the first person to discover the Americas. This is completely wrong; the first recorded ''European'' to reach North America was Leif Ericson and his crew, although there's substantial evidence that suggests fishermen from Europe had been traveling to the coast of North America for years even before that. Even more importantly, Europeans were certainly not the first ''people'' to come to North America. Millions of people already lived there when the Europeans showed up. Current theories suggest the majority were descended from people who traveled over a land bridge (located at the current Bering Strait) from Asia to North America, although there are many other theories, including the very likely possibility that the Chinese (or other Asian civilizations with a sea presence) crossed the Pacific ocean to modern-day California and even the theory that the Egyptians or Romans crossed the Atlantic Ocean over a thousand years before the Vikings. Columbus is really only important because he was the first European to reach the New World that was from a civilization that both had the capability and the desire to colonize it.

* All that was taught in elementary school about WorldWarII was essentially: ''"There was a bad man named [[AdolfHitler Hitler]] who started killing all the Jewish people in Germany. The Allies knew that this was wrong so they went to war to stop him."'' And let's not even get into the Civil War. ** Both ways, actually. When you're little, you're basically taught that the whole thing was about slavery. When you get older and people start trying to cure you of that misconception, they often make the mistake of claiming the whole thing was about state's rights with slavery being a minor footnote. Never mind that the south had spent the 40's and 50's using their control of both the Federal government and Supreme Court to try and force slavery on the "free" states (Dred Scott decision, Fugitive Slave Act) and didn't start crowing about state's rights until they lost power in the 1860 elections, and that every Confederate state explicitly mentioned the threats the new government posed to the institution of slavery in their declarations of secession more than anything else. ** And don't forget that the Nazis weren't just killing Jews, but Poles, homosexuals, Gypsies, and many others. Everyone assumes that if someone was in a Nazi camp they were Jewish, and that's an insult to the memory the rest. *** The Jews ''were'' the largest group of people the Nazis went after. But history books still tend to gloss over the other victims in their efforts to [[ViewersAreMorons simplify things for the average reader]]. *** Glossing over these groups also ignores Hitler's public enemy number two: Socialists. Cue repercussions today with people calling any political stance they don't like some sort of NaziCommies plot. *** This also makes worth mentioning that the Japanese did many horrible things in Asia and the Pacific, that the [[EnemyMine Russians weren't significantly nicer during or before WWII than they were during the Cold War]], or that American and British military forces did things that today would be considered [[WhatTheHellHero horrific]] (such as strategic bombing campaigns in general, and most especially firebombing raids like the ones that burned down Dresden and Tokyo. Nevermind [[AtomicHate Hiroshima and Nagasaki]]). * Similarly in history, every Australian primary school student learns that England settled Australia because they needed a penal colony. It isn't until High School and probably even university that students will be challenged to ask ''why'' England decided it needed a penal colony halfway around the world, in an incredibly expensive venture, rather than just sticking them somewhere comfortably far away but near enough to be cheap. *** I'll just ask this here since I know I'll get a straight answer and I won't have to do homework: why did they need a penal colony halfway around the world? ** Apparently there is also a worrying trend to teach James Cook as being the first European to discover Australia, which is patently untrue. William Dampier, an Englishman working for the Dutch was shipwrecked on the western coast of Australia in 1610 (to Cook's 1770) and is the first confirmed European to reach the continent. Cook was merely the first to map the more hospitable eastern coast. And even

that has recently been cast into doubt with Portugese maps showing the east coast of Australia and dating from over a century being discovered, though that's recent enough to be a case of {{History Marches On}} rather than {{Lies To Children}}. * Physics has many of these. It starts with "electrons orbit the nucleus of the atom" shown with a diagram of circles of differing radii, each with 2, 8, 18, etc maximum electrons. This completely misrepresents that electrons exist in three dimensional probability clouds, many of which are not sphere shaped. It also suggests that every electron at a specific "energy level" has the same amount of energy, when in fact different shapes of clouds have different energies (s versus p, for example). ** Drawing planets with circular orbits. Then, trying to make up for it by calling them elliptical orbits. A planetary orbit actually forms an ellipse that shifts every year. As a matter of fact, all the planets in our solar system except Pluto (which doesn't even really count anymore) have orbits that are technically elliptical, but are so nearly circular that they might as well be classified as such. ** Newton physics - particulary concepts of separation of concepts of mass and energy, time independent of space and time independent of frame of reference or force of gravitation (as oppose to the bent timespace). However - it is useful. If an astronaut was sent a mission to Mars he would probably use Newtonian physics. ** Photons (light) are even worse. To name a few: a particle yet a wave, momentum yet no mass. Though, empirically, photons '''do''' act like particles and like waves in certain ways, and they ''do'' have momentum without having mass. All these results are testable. The real problem is that when we ask "is light made of particles or waves?" we're asking the wrong question; photons are ''photons'', not particles or waves. They just happen to behave in ways that are convenient to treat as particles or waves for purposes of abstracting out the math. And for the record, ordinary particles such as electrons also act like waves. ** Oh, and the addition of velocities. If object 1 is moving one direction at X m/s and object 2 is moving in the exact opposite direction at Y m/s, object 1's relative velocity to object 2 is NOT X+ Y because that would break relativity (say they are both traveling at the speed of light). Temporal and spatial dilation have to be taken into account. Though keep in mind that below ~15% the speed of light there's no appreciable difference on a human scale. ** In at least some cases, teachers may not know themselves. A student asked a teacher once, "If matter is never created or destroyed, what about those atoms that pop in and out of existence?" She looked rather nervous and told him that wasn't covered in her class. (He is referring to the Zero-Point field, basically a sea of energy BECAUSE many subatomic particles pop in and out of existence, the average of which is effectively static when viewed from larger levels of order. No, atoms do not pop in and out of existence directly, although they may be fused or split.) The answer, of course, is that conservation of mass and conservation of energy are both LiesToChildren versions of conservation of mass-energy, and even that is something of a simplification of the quantum reality.

** For that matter, what about classical causality? While often causally-linked (e.g. as a causal pair), events at sub-atomic levels do not occur in a strict cause-effect order/relationship. ** Quantum mechanics gets this in spades, probably due to many aspects of quantum mechanics being relatively counter-intuitive or confusing. One of the more commonly taught beliefs is that someone physically seeing (observing) something changes what is being observed. This misconception stems from the [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Observer_effect_%28physics%29#Quantum_m echanics observer effect]] in quantum mechanics. In actuality, almost anything interacting with a system in quantum mechanics changes it. The observer effect simply states that, in order to actually observe something, you have to interact with it in some way (like hitting it with photons so it can be visible to humans). The physical act of seeing something only changes the photons that hit the eye. * Let's not forget biology. The misconception that all traits are [[LegoGenetics coded for by specific genes]], anyone? Similarly, the misconception that all traits are inherited genetically from one's parents. In fact, [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epigenetics epigenetics]] shows that an expression of identical genes may be inherited in a Lamarckian way, and [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horizontal_gene_transfer horizontal gene transfer]] allows gene transfer between living individuals rather than from parents. ** So... LamarckWasRight? [[SelfDemonstratingArticle Not exactly.]] Epigenetics is not Lamarckism (which is actually an example of this trope itself as the idea predates Lamarck by quite a bit and Lamarck's contributions were much closer to the truth, including the first coherent evolutionary theory). It's merely the study of environmental effects on gene expression. And speaking of those traits, there's the whole dominant/recessive alleles in the punnet squares taught in middle and high school natural sciences class. While still technically accurate they're also a gross simplification on the interactions between alleles, many of which are still not fully understood. ** [[BillyMays But that's not all!]] Pleiotropy, where one gene product (not one protein; there's still the various forms of small [=RNAs=]) can influence a great number of genes, cis-regulatory elements which control the activations of whole networks, HOX body planning genes, genes which influence traits by altering which particular stretches of chromosome are most readily available to be read, genes which are essentially viruses which have spurred other genes to appear just to block the 'bad' gene from doing anything, prokaryotic (bacterial) transformation by picking up stray DNA or having it shot into their cells by a stray virus, intentional random recombination of a gene by eukaryotes, and dozens of even weirder examples of [[BuffySpeak genetic goodyness.]] There's a reason you break it down to Central Dogma for the pre-college level, and introduce the weirdness bit by bit as you go. ** Unfortunately, this has backfired on the Theory of Evolution to a massive degree. Most of the people arguing against it use inaccurate analogies, take them far too literally, and then use that to "disprove" evolution. Very few, if any, people who argue against

evolution seem to actually understand it. *** And, of course, they frequently succeed in muddying the waters because a lot of the people who try to "prove" it don't understand it either, for many of the reasons mentioned above. * Similar to Monkey coming out of a hunk of rock at his creation in ''{{Journey to the West}}'', supposedly Chinese children are commonly told that they "burst out of a rock" as an answer to where babies come from. And on a similar note, the {{delivery stork}}. * While not necessarily scientific, the pigment color wheel is taught in school to have the primary colors of red, yellow, and blue. In reality, the use of those primaries yield a rather limited color palette and the RYB color wheel is outdated. It's been known that red, ''green'', and blue (RGB) are the primary colors (additive) of the human eye; if you mix them you will get white. They are used to emit light, like in case of computer monitors. In turn the pigment primaries (subtractive) are cyan, magenta, and yellow; if you mix the inks you would get something blackish. They are used when you reflect the light, like in printing (CMYK, K = black) and art. Mixing CMYK yields a larger array of colors, and yet art classes still teach the RYB model. In some languages there is distinction between 'basic color' = {red, green, blue} and 'basic hue' = {cyan, magneta, yellow} (however it is not followed). ** Light is not made out of RGB, it's just how our eyes work. There are three different kinds of color-detecting cones, and the response from each type of cone peaks at the three different wavelengths we define as red, blue, and green. Light itself doesn't have primary colors - our monitors just emit an illusion that fools us into thinking we are seeing the other wavelengths. Basically, RYB teaches the right idea for pigments, and you get the best results when you choose the best definitions of red, yellow and blue. They each have more than one. *** Cyan-Magenta-Yellow (CMY) are the primary pigment colors in ''process'' printing, along with Black (K, because 100% C, 100% M, 100% Y equals a dark muddy brown color that might be confused with black in bad light). Newer presses also support CMYKOG, adding orange and green to the process (which helps reproduce the more vibrant oranges, greens, and surprisingly blues and reds your eyes can see). Pantone spot colors, used when a certain color absolutely must be reproduced exactly in print, have ''twelve'' primary colors, and can also support things like metallic foils, glow-in-the-dark inks, and knockout holes. The CIE 1931 XYZ color space is the closest representation of the human visual range, consisting of a magentagreen color range, a blue-yellow color range, and a lightness range (forming a 3rd-dimensional object when mapped). All other color spaces fit inside CIE 1931 XYZ, and none of them whatsoever can even begin to fill the whole space, only covering ''part'' of the range of human visual acuity. *** And even the 1931 XYZ is flawed, but useful. Its a statistical match too, so what people see varies a bit too. The Rods can see a bit more than the cones can as well, but the brain's interpretation of color gets strange there. The 1964 CIE model is also popular as the 1931 model has certain built in lies. Mostly dealing with how humans

can see many more subtle differences in green than any other color, hence why the charts bulge out for green, and why 'pure' colors are only those on the curve of the CIE charts. Let alone white light, dear god white light is the biggest lie of them all.. * There's also SantaClaus. There really ''was'' a [[HistoricalHeroUpgrade St. Nick]], so, technically, he exists... ** St. Nicholas may have been just as fictional as Santa, though. The enslaved demon at least is probably not true (really a part of the legend). *** There probably was Nikolas, bishop of Myra, and it's not unlikely that he was a nice man, that gave someone a gift. At least once. * The education system, at least in the US, generally seems to follow this formula. Spend 7-8 years "teaching" children. Spend the next 4 years correcting or better adjusting them in most of the subjects. Finally, the last year is left for them to sort things out. ** And on a related note, the US "education" system (and those following a similar formula) period. Spend twelve or thirteen years engaging young people in menial, often actively counterproductive makework. Tell them you're teaching them things, and that these things will be extremely important when they're no longer in school. Continue to insist upon this long after they've left school and learned the truth. Completely fail to give a shit about the ones who feel bitter about this. ** Well, there is a reason for Lies to Children, namely that you need to understand the thing which is slightly true before you can understand everything. * [[BlatantLies The Tooth Fairy exists,]] [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial it most definitely not your parents sneaking in when you're sleeping.]] It's really the dentist, as seen in ''TheTenthKingdom''. * [[ReleasedToElsewhere Fluffy ran away/was moved to a farm/was given to a new family that would take care of him better.]] * Bit of a darker one here; ask a person who was against Vietnam if there were any parades welcoming people home. There were, but you won't find it in any history books. * [[http://notalwaysright.com/not-so-smart-card/6034 This]] NotAlwaysRight. * The way in which computers actually work. Binary is only the beginning - and nobody bothered to mention the part about why binary is used. Not to mention how the internet (and by extension telephones, if you're talking about twisted-pair copper wiring) really works. The best answer to 'what is the internet' is NOT 'lots of computers connected together'. 'Planet-wide WAN' does not begin to cover it. ** And let's not get into how DNS actually works, or even how IP addresses work. And it's even worse now that IPv6 is about to become something that will get more than a footnote mention. ** Oh, and hardware. CPUs do not just do maths. RAM does not just store bits of data being worked on. Your hard drive is much more complicated than magnetic discs. The only bit of hardware ever properly explained was CD burners. * Due to the less precise nature of linguistics, the LiesToChildren are even harder to pinpoint. No, A E I O U and Y are not the only vowels in the english language. As a matter of fact, none are vowels,

they're all graphemes. * I was on the receiving end of this trope once, which did work to my advantage temporarily. On September 11 (yes, that one) our teacher (we were just starting first grade at that time) said immediately that the terrorist attack on the Pentagon (we were five miles away at that time) was just "a plane accident." Justified in that the rationality (and the fact that the tv was tuned to the VCR instead of the news) [[NightmareRetardant actually made us felt safe]] from that fear at the time. I remember no mention of either al Qaida or the attack on World Trade Center towers until after that day.

LightBulbJoke Tell your best Main/LightBulbJoke here: ---[[{{Tropers/HG131}} HG131]]\\ '''How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ (Note: [[NWordPrivileges I'm (sadly) american]]) All of us. Everyone's got to first agree on a certain type of bulb, then the wattage of it, then the color, then how large of a ladder, what color the ladder should be, who should do it, should we help him if he falls or just beat on him some more and then we can get to changing it. However, we also need to decide if the old bulb is human. The people who think it is will try to murder anyone that disagrees with them. If either bulb is anything but a standard, old-fashioned bulb we also need to decide if we should allow it to exist. Those same murdering nutjobs will try to deny the bulb the right to exist, even though they supported it's existence before. Some may use rainbow-colored signs that say stuff like "God Hates Environment-Safe Bulbs!", "Thank God For Broken Bulbs!" and other insults. In the end, the bulb will never be changed and we'll just continue to sit in the dark while everyone else changes their bulbs, improving their countries. '''How many [[Series/DoctorWho Time Lords]] does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Ten. Eight of them to whine about non-interference, the Master to come and break the bulb and the Doctor to come and stop him and replace the bulb. '''How many Captain Jack Harknesses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'''\\ An infinite number. They're all busy [[AnythingThatMoves screwing other things]], including the socket AND the bulbs. '''How many lolis does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Three. One to remove the old one and put the new one in, one to be disturbingly sexual for her age and one to be amazingly cute and naive about sex, but wanting to learn. ---D_E\\ '''How many Theoretical Evolutionists does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\

One, but he'll need a hundred free variables to make it fit. ---Tropers/{{EPIC}}:\\ '''How many SonicTheHedgehog [[UnpleasableFanbase fans]] does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ None - The Sonic fans are so [[UnpleasableFanbase unpleasable ]] that they can't tell whether they want a 2D or 3D lightbulb, many preferring the dark in the process. * Alternative answer: The FanDumb, specifically the Old Timers don't '''''want''''' to change the lightbulb. They think it's better just because of stupid [[NostalgiaFilter nostalgia]]! ---HyperNeya:\\ ** Alternative alternative answer to EPIC's joke that requires a little knowledge of the fanbase: One, [[SonictheHedgehog4 but then the other fans would complain about the physics of screwing in a lightbulb and how the physics were better before the lightbulb was screwed in.]] *** Yet another answer: One, because the haters are too busy being wowed by SonicColors to care about the lightbulb anymore. ---Glidergun:\\ '''How many Freudian psychotherapists does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Two - one to screw in the light bulb and the other to hold the [[FreudianSlip penis]]. Ladder! I meant ladder. ---Tanto:\\ '''How many Mets fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ Just one - he only needs to stand there while the universe revolves around him. ---Raposa:\\ '''How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ None - Californians screw in hot tubs. ---Zyxzy:\\ '''How Many [[{{Metalocalypse}} Dethklok]] fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ 10 - one to screw in the light bulb and 9 to be maimed horribly by [[{{Metalocalypse}} Dethklok's]] antics. ---Kayube:\\ '''How many Pokemon trainers does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Only one, but he needs six badges and the HM for Change Light Bulb. ---Seanette:\\ '''How many Mormons does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Five - one to change the light bulb, one to give the opening prayer, one to lead the music, one to give the closing prayer, and one to bring the refreshments.\\ (Note: troper posting this one [[Main/NWordPrivileges is herself LDS]])

---Tropers/MrGuy:\\ '''How many Fox News anchors does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Four - one to accuse it of hating our country, once to accuse it of having a liberal bias, one to accuse it of being a Muslim Socialist, and one to screw it in. ---Tropers/DeuxHero:\\ '''How many liberals does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ One - but they think the government should do it for them. Americans have a ''right'' to light. ---[[Tropers/EddieVanHelsing Eddie Van Helsing]]:\\ '''How many Microsoft employees does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ None - darkness is a feature, not a bug.\\ '''How many evangelical Christians does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ None - Jesus will take care of it if you just open your heart and pray. ---Tropers/JonnyD:\\ '''How many members of a stereotypically stupid demographic of your choice does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ A hundred, 1 to hold the light bulb and 99 to turn the ceiling. ---Tropers/{{Demetrios}}:\\ '''How many DragonBallZ characters does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ One, but it'll take him five episodes to do it. ---Tropers/SirPsychoSexy:\\ '''How many people with TourettesShitcockSyndrome does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ I don't know, but if you tried filming it, it'd be OscarBait. '''How many Discordians does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Purple monkey horse farts. ---Tropers/{{Momonga}}:\\ '''How many mezzo-sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ None; they can't go that high. '''How many tropers does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Well, first they have to remove the lampshade... ----

Tropers/{{Benj}}:\\ '''How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Only one, but the light-bulb really has to want to change ---Tropers/{{Seren_y_Gogledd}}:\\ '''How many authors does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Two. One to screw the bulb most of the way in, and another to give it a shocking twist at the end. ---Wemmblyhogg:\\ '''How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Just the one, but only after asking "Why?". '''How many network executives does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Only one, but frequently the bulb is still lit. '''How many mathematicians does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ -e[[superscript:i&#960;]] [[spoiler:= 1]] ---Mediiic:\\ '''How many middle-class white men does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ One. ---Tropers/{{Filby}}:\\ '''How many liberals does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ 10, as they need to hold a debate into whether or not the lightbulb exists. Even if they can agree upon the existence of the lightbulb they may not go ahead and change it for fear of alienating those who use fluorescent tubes. '''How many libertarians does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ None. The invisible hand of the free market will take care of it. '''How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ CHANGE?!? ---Winter:\\ '''How many harpists does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Just one. If you can find one. '''How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\

None. It's a hardware problem. '''How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ None. We'll work around it in software. '''How many piano players does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Just one. But he'll do it over and over and over until he gets it juuuuuuuuust right. ---Tropers/{{Nlpnt}}:\\ '''How many Vermonters does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Three. One to do it and two to talk about how much better the old one was. '''How many Bush administration members does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ None. "We stand behind the original light bulb. The light bulb is still fully functional based on the metrics we are applying to it at this time. The liberal media is endangering Americans' safety by revealing to terrorists that we're sitting here in the dark, and anyway the real problem is with the socket and wiring which were installed by the Clinton administration." ---Kimura:\\ '''How many [[LittleBigPlanet Sackpeople]] does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Four. One to create the lightbulb and Two Way Switch, one to publish the level, one to activate the switch, and one to send a [[CensorshipTropes Good Grief!]] about [[FreudWasRight where the first sackperson placed the lightbulb.]] ---Tropers/ExplodingFrogs:\\ '''How many [[StarTrek Borg]] does it take to change in a light bulb?'''\\ Lightbulbs are irrelevent; resistence is futile. '''How many government employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ Two. One to insist it's being taken care of, and the other to screw it into a water faucet. '''How many {{Firefly}} characters does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ None; [[TooGoodToLast they'll get cancelled before really getting

started.]] ---Headfullofimaginary:\\ '''How many Politicians does it take to change a Lightbulb?'''\\ "Well, it's not really so much about ''changing'' the bulb, but more a question of whether or not we can, um, adapt to, er, make the new system work well enough to provide the public with..." '''How many British Soap Characters does it take to change a lightbulb at Christmas?'''\\ Eight. One to make a comment about how this will be the best lightbulb-changing ever so that there can be an ironic twist; one to actually try to change the bulb; another to interrupt and insist that he knows what the first person's REALLY up to and that he can't let it carry on; a fourth to run in and reveal a secret that causes the first two to get into a fist-fight; one to be horrifically murdered in the room next door; one to provide comic relief during a jarring scene change in which theres a 'hilarious' BLAM surrounding karaoke; one to find the body, hear the shouting, step in, knock out of the people arguing over the lightbulb so that the other can screw it in; and the dead person's fiance(e) to burst in at the last minute looking happy, then see the body and burst into tears, but only after dropping their cigarette which will of course set fire to a (in)convenient can of petrol which will catch light and blow the house up. And it will all be for nothing, because two years later the original lightbulb will return in a shock storyline centred around someone's long-lost son. '''How many Daily Mail readers does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Two hundred. One to change the bulb; 70 to complain about how the new bulb is another sign of the outrageous PC Brigade who have made 'Broken Britain' a worse place to live than Zimbabwe; twenty to threaten to emigrate because of this; 40 to blame the Prime Minister even though he clearly had nothing to do with it; ten to post jokes or poems about it; ten to say that this is why they vote for the BNP; one to pipe up as a lone voice of perspective, saying that the new light bulb may not be perfect, but it ''is'' just a light bulb; twenty to knock him back; ten to relate this light-bulb changing to similar one last year and use it to predict armageddon; 7 to pin the blame on a random minority group and one to wish that Diana was here. '''How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ One thousand. One to change the bulb; one to wonder what happened to the old bulb; one to point out the odd-looking scorch marks on the carpet beneath the bulb; another to dig up an old picture of George Bush waving and announce that 'it all makes sense now', and 996 to join in. '''How many windows computers does it take to change a light

bulb?'''\\ One. One. One. One. One. One. You have performed an illegal action, please reboot the system. One. One. One......One. One. One. Lightbulb changing 1% complete... ---Tropers/AMereServantOfGod: '''How many women does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ About the same number as men; get over it. ---Unistrut: '''How many theater electricians does it take to change a light bulb?''' It's a ''lamp'' goddammit! ---Tropers/SilentHunter: '''How many ''Series/DoctorWho'' fans does it take to change a light bulb?''' None, they just wait for 16 years until it comes back on again. ---Tropers/{{Ripsaw}}: '''How many Romulans does it take to change a light bulb?''' None. The light bulb is cloaked, not out. ---Tropers/{{Specialist290}}: '''How many tropers does it take to change a lightbulb?''' None; we just [[LampshadeHanging hang the lampshades]]. '''How many <Stereotyped Heavy Drinker Ethnicity> does it take to change a lightbulb?''' Five. One to hold it in place, and four to drink until the room starts spinning. ---Tropers/{{Enlong}} '''How many ''DungeonsAndDragons'' players does it take to change a

light bulb?''' Change? Why do we need to ''change'' it? The bulb is ''not'' broken! You just want us to have lighting, like in [[WorldOfWarcraft WOW]], so you think you need to change the ''entire light bulb!'' ---Anonymous: '''How many idiots does it take to screw in a light bulb?''' '''How many?''' '''Twelve. One to hold the light bulb and ten to turn the chair.''' '''That makes eleven.''' '''One... two... Oh, shut up!''' ---Further Anonymous: '''How many tabletop RPG players does it take to change a light bulb?''' ''All of them''. NeverSplitTheParty! ---Yon Troper: '''How many pessimists does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ Who cares, it's probably not going to work anyway. One. \\ '''How many psychics does it take to screw in a light bulb?''' ---[=SummoningDark=]: '''How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?''' Fish. Seven to paint the giraffe mauve, and four to fill the bathtub with Dean Koontz books. ---Tropers/{{korax1214}}: '''How many Pink Floyd fans does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ 1) I don't know, I was really drunk at the time.\\ 2) There is no lightbulb really; matter of fact, it's ''all'' dark. '''How many users of TheOtherWiki does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ 1) Any of them, but it will probably get reverted anyway.\\ 2) '''Lightbulb''' is protected due to persistent vandalism.\\ 3) That's original research and hence not allowed.\\

4) Light bulbs are not notable.[citation needed] This page has been marked for deletion. '''How many England-soccer-squad managers does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ None -- the bulb always worked before. '''How many ''Constitution''-class starship's doctors does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ I'm a doctor, not an electrician. ---Tropers/{{Zemyla}}: '''How many Lojban speakers does it take to change a broken light bulb?'''\\ Two: One to figure out what to change it to and one to figure out what kind of bulb emits broken light. ---Tropers/{{korax1214}}: '''How many object-orientated programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ None -- we just send a message to the bulb and it changes itself. ---Tropers/{{Duckay}}: '''How many WorldOfWarcraft [[=GMs=] does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ The lightbulb feature is working as intended. '''How many emos does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ None. They'd rather sit in the dark and cry. ---Tropers/{{JET73L}}:\\ '''How many [[VancianMagic wizards]] does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ One, but it requires 4 silver worth of graphite and a special feat if he didn't expect the bulb to go out. * [[TheDresdenFiles Alternately]], one, but [[WalkingTechbane he'll short out the rest of your wiring in the process]]. '''How many bards does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Dancing Lights. '''How many epic-level rogues does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Where'd the socket go? And my wallet? And the lightbulb? '''How many {{Scanners}} dies it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ One, but you'll need a broom, a dustpan, and a potato to get rid of the old one. '''How many quantum theorists does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ None. By the time they get to it, it will already be a completely

different lightbulb, although statistics suggest that it won't be fundamentally different from the old one on any scale greater than the subatomic level. '''How many comedians does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ So far, two-hundred fifty million and counting. ---Tropers/MikeRosoft: '''How many elephants does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ Two, but it'd better be a really ''huge'' bulb. '''How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Two: one will change it, while the other persuades you to join them. ---Tropers/{{Etheru}} '''How many MegaMan villains does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ One, Because Wily's the only villain. ** What about Dr. Cossa- * is shot* ---Tropers/{{Digitalpotato}}:\\ '''How many Hardcore gamers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'''\\ Twenty. One screws it in and the other nineteen whine about how simplified and easy it is. '''How many trumpet players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'''\\ Thirty. One to screw it in and the other twenty-nine say they can do it better. '''How many Dungeons and Dragons characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'''\\ Only one provided they pass the skill check. * Rolls dice* '''How many PC gamers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'''\\ Only one but then they wind up turning the particle effects off when they go online to game anyways. '''How many Computer Fetishists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'''\\ Why would you do that anyways? MY COMPUTER CAN SCREW THE LIGHTBULB!!! ---Tropers/RobinZimm:\\ '''How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'''\\ [[Trivia/{{Math}} 0.999999...]] '''How many ADD people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'''\\ [[AttentionDeficitOohShiny Hey, a squirrel!]] '''How many engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ One, [[DuctTapeForEverything given enough duct tape]].

---Tropers/Josh6243:\\ '''How many {{MUGEN}} players, creators and characters does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ 6 of them * One MUGEN character to screw it in. * One creator to make a spriteswap of the character screwing the lightbulb in. * One player who lavishly praises and/or has Main/PerverseSexualLust with the character screwing the lightbulb in. * One player shouting that character screwing the lightbulb in is a character is made for '''''"[[TheKhan CAAAAAAAASSSSSUUUAAAAAAAALLLLLS!!!]]"'''''; afterwards, the player makes a video showing that said character is broken. * One creator to make an inaccurate version of the character screwing the lightbulb in. * One player who only uses this character for fighting anything more or in equal in power as an SNKBoss. ---Tropers/TourqeGlare:\\ '''How long does it take Comander Riker to screw in a lightbulb?'''\\ Riker's too busy screwing other things. ---Iambic:\\ '''How many Marxists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'''\\ None, the lightbulb contains the seeds of its own revolution. similarly, '''How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'''\\ None, it turned itself in. '''How many jugglers does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Just one, but you need at least three lightbulbs. '''How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Pfft, ''techies'' change lightbulbs. * Alternately, the entire cast of the show: one to try to screw in the bulb, one to go get a techie because actors are incompetent, and the others to watch in utter amazement. '''How many Shakespeare scholars does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ 13. One to comb through primary documents looking for what kind of lightbulb it should be, one to analyze the symbolism of light in the later tragedies, two to debate whether the Quarto or Folio lightbulb is a more accurate representation, six more to hold a roundtable discussion, one to insist that Jonson's lightbulbs were better, one to claim that it was really the Earl of Oxford's lightbulb, and one to declare that lightbulbs aren't original practice and light a candle instead. ---Ronfar:

'''How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ How many can you afford? '''How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ "Don't worry about me, I'll just sit in the dark..." '''How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark. '''How many Real Women does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ None. A Real Woman would have plenty of Real Men around to do it for her. '''How many {{NPC}}s does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ [[WelcomeToCorneria How many NPCs does it take to change a light bulb]]? ---Not a doktor\\ '''How many DIY-ers does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ One, but he won't shut up about the new energy saving bulb during dinner. ---Rogue0009\\ '''How many Leaf Village ninja does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Three, but you'll have to sit through 2 years worth of filler first. ---movie007\\ '''How many elitists does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Ten. One to screw in the light bulb - and the other nine to act superior about how they still use ''real'' bulbs, unlike the unwashed masses who use those inferior pseudo-bulbs. ---Tropers/FusionDragon\\ '''How many time-travellers does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Three... but the lightbulb refused to change. ---Tropers/PanicintheStreetsofLondon\\ '''How many [[TeamFortress2 Engineers]] does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Three: one to get the metal, one to build it, and one to sap it because he's really a spy. ---'''How many Californians does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Ten. One to change the lightbulb and nine to share in the experience. '''How many Oregonians does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\

Three. One to change the lightbulb and two to fend off all the Californians trying to share the experience. ---'''How many Khorne Berserkers does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD RAWRRR!!!! [break] You mentioned lightbulb? '''How many Tzeentch Sorcerers does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ None. It has already been changed. Or one, whose plan it was all along. '''How many Nurgle worshippers does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ None, it does not need to be changed. Grandfather Nurgle has blessed the bulb with brokenness. '''How many Slaanesh cultists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'''\\ Any number of them, but they need to find a way in. '''How many Imperial Guardsmen does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ A hundred: one to change the bulb, and ninety-nine to give their lives on the front line in the Emperor's name ---'''How many presidents does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ One, but first they'll blame the previous administration for not changing it sooner (regardless of if it needed to be changed then, or even does now), then they'll promise to do something about it during their time in office. 4 years later they'll be up for election again and blame the previous president and the opposite party for preventing them from changing the lightbulb and promise to make sure that lightbulb gets changed in the next term. During their 2nd term a bill will be proposed to form a commission to investigate whether or not we need to change the bulb, but because of some of the stuff in the bill it will be voted down (because while the idea of changing the bulb is good is it really a great idea to spend $50 million on studying the wattage?). Then Al Gore will show up and spend the next few days on every talk show blameing the lightbulb for Global Warming. After their 2nd term, when the bulb is STILL not changed they'll pass it on to the next guy, restarting the whole process. ---[[Tropers/PoochyEXE Poochy.EXE]]\\ '''How many [pick one: AOL, Comcast, Microsoft, D-Link, etc.] customer service representatives does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ 487. One to ask for the registration number of the light bulb, one to repeatedly state that changing the light bulb is important to the company and they'll do it at the first available opportunity, one to repeatedly insist the old light bulb works just fine, one to state that it must be the socket's problem and not the old light bulb, one

to state that it's the faulty wiring and not the socket or old light bulb, one to repeatedly ask if you would like to upgrade to a brighter light bulb that costs three times as much, one to sign you up for the brighter light bulb even though you didn't ask for it, one to tell you why you shouldn't cancel your new brighter light bulb service, one to transfer the task to the billing department, one to transfer the task to the tech support department... '''How many soap opera characters does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Find out on the next episode. '''How many Wikipedia editors does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ [[strike:One.]] [[strike:Two.]] [[strike:One.]] [[strike:Two.]] [[strike:One.]] [[strike:Two.]] [[strike:One.]] [[strike:Duck season!]] [[strike:Wabbit season!]] The neutrality of this article is disputed. Please see the discussion on the talk page. Please do not remove this message until the dispute is resolved. '''How many StopHavingFunGuys does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Seven. One to change it while proclaiming that those who don't use a ladder are dumb, one to complain that using a ladder makes it too easy and thus is cheating, one to say that using a ladder is perfectly fine if you don't hold onto it with your hands, one to insist that the light bulb has to be changed again since the use of a ladder means it doesn't count, one to tell the first guy that he should have screwed in the light bulb with his left hand, one to say that the new light must be a fluorescent tube because an incandescent light bulb has a different shape, and one to state that light bulbs should all be changed on Final Destination without realizing he's in the wrong conversation. ---Tropers/{{Charlatan}} '''[[InSovietRussiaTropeMocksYou How many lightbulbs does it take to change a Russian?]]''' ---'''How many KDE 4.0 users does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Plasma has crashed. ---Tropers/GGCrono\\ '''How many SlashFic writers does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ None. The lightbulb ''obviously'' belongs with the kitchen sink, and if you can't see than then you're just a stupid whore. ---Gendoikari1\\ '''How many Apple fanboys does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ &#8734;. One to change the lightbulb, one to break the news that Apple has released a newer model, one to buy the newer model, one to change

the lightbulb, one to break the news that Apple has released a newer model... ---Tropers/ZanderSchubert\\ '''How many clarinetists does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Only one, but they need to go through a dozen bulbs before finding the one that works the best. '''How many anglophiles does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ It's "lightglobe", you stupid American! '''How many [[NineNetwork Channel Nine]] viewers does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Both of them. ---Tropers/MeiYouMayo\\ '''How many Wesleyan University students does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ That's racist. '''How many Star Trek fans does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Nine. One to change it, one to complain that the new lightbulb wasn't screwed in by William Shatner, three to say that this new lightbulb erases and negates all the light shed by the first lightbulb, four to say that they like the new lightbulb, and the other four to grudgingly agree that the new lightbulb is pretty good. ---Tropers/{{Be}}\\ '''How many members of Parliament does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ One. Unfortunately, the discussion over whether the bulb needs changing will dominate proceedings for three months before Question Time gets their hands on it and drafts in a number of TalkingHeads to give their opinions on the lightbulb crisis. Meanwhile, the British media will give their own views on it - the Times will report the events as they happen, the Independent will report the events as they'd like it to happen, the Guardian will report the events but pretend they're reporting on the story of the events, the Daily Express will claim a faulty lightbulb was the reason for Diana's death, the Daily Mail will complain about the price electricians from Poland are quoting to come to England, take our jobs and change our lightbulbs, the Sun will ask page three girl Ami, 21, from Essex her thoughts on the subject and the Star will bury it under pages of celebrities caught in compromising positions. Naturally, HaveIGotNewsForYou will have a field day on the whole affair, reaching a high point when ex-Prime Minister Tony Blair accepts the offer to host the show and spends most of his time savaging the increasinglybeleaguered Gordon Brown. Two months after the House of Commons has voted on whether to change the bulb or not (and won a narrow victory, 179-155, thanks to the efforts of Nick Clegg, Liberal Democrat leader, who has finally recognised he will never actually get into power and

is now content to be as ridiculous as possible) and the matter has passed to the House of Lords, Harriet Harman is outed as a closet member of the KKK and the resultant firestorm is so far-reaching, everybody completely forgets about the matter of the burned-out lightbulb. Just as [[TheThickOfIt Malcolm Tucker]] [[XanatosSpeedChess planned all along]]. ---This Wicked Day '''How many Bill Gateses does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ None. He calls a meeting and makes darkness the industry standard. '''How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Only one, but the bulb has to want to change. '''How many hippies does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ One hundred: one to change it and 99 to share the experience, man. ---Icchuchu '''How many Pokemon trainers does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ 1) Just one, but if the trainer is Ash Ketchum, we'll have to wait for him to train for a while.\\ 2) Seven. One to try and change it, the second to stand around and say how to do it, a third to look cute, a fourth to say what an awful job the first is doing, and the last three to try and hinder the first one's progress. ---Zotamorf '''How many Candle Jacks does it take to change a li''' ---[[Tropers/PoochyEXE Poochy.EXE]]:\\ Found this one on Twitter, apparently originating from Drew Carey ([=@DrewFromTV=]): '''How many NBC execs does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ I hope you like living in the dark! ---Tropers/{{Theologica}} Taken from the Anglicans DeviantArt page: '''How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?''' Four - one to call a Vestry meeting, one to call the Electrician, one to pour the tea, and one to complain about how the old lightbulb was better. ----

Tropers/UnderlordZ '''How many of the world's strongest men does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Eleven. One to hold the bulb, and ten to turn the house around. ---Tropers/{{Roxor}} I've had this one sitting around in a text file for over a decade because, although I like it, [[OverlyLongGag the answer is too long to memorise]]. '''How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ 1,331:\\ 1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light bulb has been changed.\\ 14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.\\ 7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.\\ 27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.\\ 53 to flame the spell checkers.\\ 156 to write to the list administrator complaining about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list.\\ 41 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames.\\ 109 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this email exchange to alt.lite.bulb.\\ 203 to demand that cross posting to alt.grammar, alt.spelling and alt.punctuation about changing light bulbs be stopped.\\ 111 to defend the posting to this list saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts ** are** relevant to this mail list.\\ 306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique, and what brands are faulty.\\ 27 to post [=URLs=] where one can see examples of different light bulbs.\\ 14 to post that the [=URLs=] were posted incorrectly, and to post corrected [=URLs=].\\ 3 to post about links they found from the [=URLs=] that are relevant to this list which makes light bulbs relevant to this list.\\ 33 to concatenate all posts to date, then quote them including all headers and footers, and then add "Me Too."\\ 12 to post to the list that they are unsubscribing because they cannot handle the light bulb controversey.\\ 19 to quote the "Me Too's" to say, "Me Three."\\ 4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ.\\ 1 to propose new alt.change.lite.bulb newsgroup.\\ 47 to say this is just what alt.physic.cold_fusion was meant for, leave it here.\\ 143 votes for alt.lite.bulb. ----

'''How many [[{{Naruto}} Uchiha clan members]] does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Only one, but [[SpotlightStealingSquad all of them will turn up anyway]]. ---Tropers/KarlzBelena '''How many music fans does it take to change a lightbulb?''' Just one. But then they all stand around bitching about how much better the old one was. ---Tropers/{{Moocow1452}} '''How many Programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ One, provided they stop whining about previous iterations. ---Tropers/{{Andrusi}} Only one, but he needs to be careful, or this could get weird.\\ '''How many time travelers does it take to change a light bulb?''' ---Tropers/MetaFour '''How many indie music fans does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ None. Haven't you heard? Light bulbs used to be cool, but now they're way too corporate. Total sellouts. '''How many ''GunnerkriggCourt'' characters does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ Only one, but [[KudzuPlot by the time they change it, five more will have burned out]]. '''How many [[WildMassGuessing Wild Mass Guessers]] does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'''\\ The bulb is actually the TARDIS of a Time Lord trapped in Purgatory, so the question is moot. ''I can't take credit for this one:''\\ '''How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'''\\ Two, but don't ask me how they got in there. ---Tropers/MrUnderhill '''How many [[MassEffect Turian Councillors]] does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'''\\ Ah yes, "lightbulbs." The incandescent vacuum tubes which allegedly provide artificial light with an electric current. [[GasLeakCoverup We have dismissed that claim.]] Also, [[HypocriticalHumor you humans]] [[RunningGag are all racist!]]

---Tropers/{{TheCuza}} '''How many /v/irgins does it take to replace a regular lightbulb with a fluorescent lightbulb?'''\\ Well, first you need 10 to complain about how [[TheyChangedItNowItSucks it looks too different from the last lightbulb]], 10 to complain about how [[ItsTheSameNowItSucks it's a rehash of the last lightbulb because it does the same thing]], 10 to complain about how [[ItsEasySoItSucks changing a lightbulb doesn't take enough skill]], 20 to complain about how [[NostalgiaFilter lightbulbs these days are casual shit compared to how they used to be]], and 450 to argue about [[ConsoleWars which brand of lightbulb is the superior choice]]. So how many /v/irgins does it take to change a lightbulb? None. You can't pirate lightbulbs, silly. ---Hitler,Lick How many golden means does it take to change a light bulb? 1/2 to leave it half turned.

How many memes does it take to change a light bulb? How many X change a light bulb? How many X change a light bulb? How many rapidshares does it take to change a lightbulb? You are already changing a lightbulb. Please wait until you have finished changing your current lightbulb. 'Ow any meks does it takez to change a lightbulb? Na, dat ain't orky yet. Add moar spikey bitz, paint it red, put on more shootas and den we 'ave a proper bulb! ---Tropers/SaraJaye: '''How many kittens does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Who cares?! [[CutenessProximity They look SOOOOO KYOOOT trying to wrap their itty-bitty paws around the big light bulb, awwww~]] '''How many StopHavingFunGuys does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Their way is the ''only'' way to change a light bulb, so only one is needed! Fluorescent only, no ladder, FINAL DESTINATION!! ----

Tropers/{{Gerusz}} '''How many supporters of the Many Worlds Interpretation of quantum mechanics does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ None. An infinite number of parallel universes is created in every quantum event, and the probability of the bulb repairing itself is greater than zero, thus the bulb has already repaired itself in an infinite number of universes. '''How many supporters of the Koppenhagen-interpretation of quantum mechanics does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ None. The probability of the bulb repairing itself is greater than zero, thus they only have to wait for the bulb to repair itself. ---Anonymous '''How many sopranos does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ Three. One to screw it one, one to tell her how to do it, and one to complain about how she would have done it better. '''How many altos does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ Two. One to screw it in, and another to screw it in again when the first one fumbles it with her manhands. '''How many tenors does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ Two. One to screw it in, and one to make sure the other's hair stays perfect. '''How many basses does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ Ten. One to screw it in, eight to figure out how, and one to sit smugly with the sopranos while the others make fools of themselves. ---Paul '''How many George Lucases does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ None. The new light bulb was already in there. ---Glooble '''How many tropers does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Just one, but he'll try and use his favorite lightbulb even if it doesn't really fit into the socket. '''How many [[{{Uplift}} Episiarchs]] does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Just one. The problem is getting it to stop changing it. '''How many witches does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ What do you want it changed into? ---Petersohn

'''How many gorillas does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Only one, but a lot of lightbulbs. ---Tropers/{{Snes}} '''How many Christians does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ Three, but they're really one. '''How many [[DwarfFortress dwarfs]] does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ [[color:Red: Zasit Likotthabost, Fish Dissector cancels Screw in Bulb: Job item misplaced.]] ----Tropers/DrThinker '''How many PC CartoonActionHour: Season Two heroes does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ One but you better get the player some OOMPH for doing it.

'''How many members of Blackskull Empire does it take to change a light bulbs?'''\\ Ten One to notice the dead light bulb. One to shoot it out of the dead bulb out of the sock. One to repair the socket. One to steal one from Haven. Four to battle the Guardians of Iconia. One to finally get one from Nekkrottus's stock room and one to place the bulb. '''How many members of Warbots does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ One but all you will be getting is light bulb dust. ----"How many meta-comedians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"\\ Two one to screw in the bulb and one to tell the joke. "How many tropers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"\\ 91 so far one to screw in the bulb and 90 to post TroperTales about it. ----Megabyter5: "How many monks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"\\ One - But they don't get Change Lightbulb until 12th level, and they can only use it once a day in a round they haven't taken a move action or used their Breathe class feature (gained at 5th level). "How many paladins does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"\\

One and only one - They will take it upon themselves to personally remove the darkness the peasants are opressed by, [[LawfulStupid no matter what it takes.]] "How many druids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"\\ None. Druids lose all class features if they screw in lightbulbs, but it's not like it matters since they're so [[GameBreaker broken.]] "How many lightbulb jokes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"\\ Probably all of them - You'd have a lot of trouble finding one that depicts a method that would actually work. ----Tropers/WanderlustWarrior: '''Q''' How many tropers does it take to change a light bulb?\\ '''A''' Three. One to say [[WordCruft "how was this light bulb not screwed in yet?"]] One to screw in the light bulb, and a third to cancel the first's statement one how the light bulb wasn't screwed in, long after the light bulb had actually been screwed in.

'''Q''' How many tropers does it take to change a light bulb?\\ '''A''' [[FiveManBand Five.]] One to [[YouKnowThatThingWhere You Know that Burnt Out Lightbulb There...]] it, [[ThreeRulesOfThree Three]] to list all the burnt out light bulbs that come to mind so that some early progress can be made, the fifth to determine if we really need this light bulb screwed in, and [[NoLaunchingPlease preferably the first]] to actually screw it in. '''Q''' How many parents does it take to change a light bulb?\\ '''A''' None. Menial tasks are what children are for. ----This troper's favorite lightbulb joke goes as follows:\\ '''How many musos (people passionate about music) does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ It's an obscure number; you've probably never heard of it. ----Tropers/digitrev '''How many euphoniumists does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Two, one to change it, and the other to insist that it's a euphonium they play, not a baritone. '''How many bassoon players does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ One, but the baritone saxophonist probably could have done it just as well. ---Tropers/RedWren '''How many {{Anti Humor}}ists does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\

Two. One to screw in the light bulb, and one to hold the ladder. If the light bulb is sufficiently close to the ground, only the former is required. ---Tropers/Aquila89 '''How many perverts does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ One, but it takes an ambulance to take it out. ---Tropers/JosiedeVivre "How many Spartans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"\\ '''''300!''''' ----\\ Tropers/SakuraRurouni '''How many International Baccalaureate students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'''\\ One to screw in the lightbulb, and thirty more to reflect on the process. ----\\ Tropers/OMalley "How many -insert ethnic group here- does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"\\ One. It's not really that hard. ---\\ '''How many Lharis does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to ask a Mentorian what color it is. '''How many Corellians does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Two, One to do the job and the other to declare "This is not gonna work." '''How many Jawas does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Three. One to hold the bulb while the two others go and hunt down a droid to do the job. '''How many light bulbs does it take to change a werewolf?''' ---[=NanoElite666=]\\ '''How many beers does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ As many as it takes to get the room spinning. ---[[@/{{MiraShio}} Mira-chan]]\\ '''How many players of The Game does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ You just lost.

---'''How many Adeptus Mechanicus Techpriests does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Three: one to hold the ladder, one to turn the bulb, and the third to swing the incense. ---'''How many [[DragonBallZ Saiyans]] does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Just one, but it will take him four episodes to do it. '''How many [[{{Fansub}} fansubbers]] does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Ichi (Translator's note: ichi means one).[[hottip:*:Actual translator's note: one ''person'' is "hitori".]] ---[[@/{{Snowsky}} Snowsky]]\\ '''How many {{Harry Potter}} fans does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Six. One to say "Accio Extra Light Bulb!", one to try to magically screw it in but fail, two to argue if there actually is a magic way to put in a light bulb, one to screw it in, and one to mock the secondto-last-one for doing it like a Muggle. '''How many [[{{Portal2}} personality cores]] does it take to change a lightbulb?''' SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE! ---'''How many Translators does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ It really depends on the context. ---Zoot14:\\ '''Q''' How many sorcerers does it take to change a lightbulb? \\ '''A''' That depends, into what? ---SenseiLeRoof:\\ '''How many RockBand players does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Four, but one will lose contact with the bulb accidentally. Or because they don't like [[ThatOneBoss Metallica]]. '''How many AMVHell contributors does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ At least fifteen, especially after a badly-synced turn by some newbie in the middle. '''How many time travelers does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Huh, the light works after all. Will ya look at that.

---Tropers/{{Homestar09_Mario08}} '''How many [[YouTubePoop YTPers]] does it take to change a lightbulb?\\ 3 -one to [[TheLegendOfZeldaCDiGames wonder what's for dinner]], one to [[Animated/TheLegendOfZelda EXCUUUUUSE me, princess!]], and one to [[HotelMario make lotsa spaghetti]]. [[AdventuresOfSonicTheHedgehog And that's NO good!]] ---Tropers/{{Bwburke94}} '''How many /b/tards does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ OVER NINE THOUSAND!! ---Tropers/KevinW '''How many Arizona State freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ None. It's a senior-level course. A variation:\\ '''How many Arizona State freshmen does it take to hang an Elite Eight banner in Wells Fargo Arena?'''\\ It doesn't matter, they're never going to reach the Elite Eight anyways. ---Tropers/{{Bwburke94}} again '''How many Pokmon trainers does it take to screw in a light bulb?'''\\ One, assuming they hacked themself a level 100 Arceus and eight gym badges like everyone else did. ---Tropers/{{StongRadd}} * '''How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?''' ** [[{{Smashtasm}} One, because gender-related jokes based on hair color are demeaning and sexist.]] * '''How many YaoiFangirls does it take to screw in a light bulb?''' ** That depends on whether there aren't at least two dudes in the room. * '''How many YuriFans does it take to screw in a light bulb?''' ** That depends on whether there aren't at least two chicks in the room. ---[[@/DaPatman DaPatman]]

'''How many SCPFoundation members does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ [[http://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-033 Theta Prime]]. ---Tropers/{{Beacon80}} '''How many Hobbits does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ This is a fantasy setting, you twit. '''How many DresdenFiles wizards does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Two. One to change the bulb and a second to get another light bulb when that one immediately burns out. '''How many Snopes writers does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ None. The light bulb didn't really go out. It's a common misconception, but it was actually a tripped circuit breaker. '''How many [[PercyJackson Sons of Poseidon]] does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ None. That's lightning, which is Zeus's territory. '''How many [[XenaWarriorPrincess warrior princesses]] does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Just one, but she'll bring along her "companion" anyway. ---Tropers/MasamiPhoenix '''How many ninjas does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ No fucking clue, they changed it while I wasn't looking. '''How many Sith does it take to screw over a universe?'''\\ Always two there are.

---Tropers/Zanreo '''How many forum members does it take to change a light bulb?''' 1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed,\\ 14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently,\\ 7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs,\\ 1 to move it to the Lighting section,\\ 2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section,\\ 7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light

bulbs,\\ 5 to flame the spell checkers,\\ 3 to correct spelling/grammar flames,\\ 6 to argue over whether it's [[SpellMyNameWithAnS "lightbulb" or "light bulb"]] ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid,\\ 2 industry professionals to inform the group that [[TakeAThirdOption the proper term is "lamp"]],\\ 15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct,\\ 19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum,\\ 11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum,\\ 36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty,\\ 7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs,\\ 4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's,\\ 3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group,\\ 13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too",\\ 5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy\\ 4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?",\\ 13 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs", and\\ 1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again. ---R5h '''How many egoists does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Depends... what's in it for them? '''How many solipsists does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ What lightbulb? '''How many Maori does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\\ There really isn't a good joke to go with this, so... just one, yeah. ---Tropers/TheRedRedKroovy '''How many ''JerseyShore'' castmates does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'''\\ None. They screw in the hot tub instead. '''How many Floridians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'''\\ Six. [[OnlyInFlorida One to get tazed while trying to screw it in, one

to get eaten by an alligator, one to find out that it's a British WRTL Arc lighting system and that his bulb won't fit, one to get attacked by an unstoppable army of snakes, one who had to ignore the bulb because his vote got messed up by a hanging chad and he had to go to court to get that settled, and one to finally put it in.]] [[ShootTheShaggyDog Only for the house to get destroyed by a hurricane anyway.]] ---{{smittykins}} '''How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Only one, but it takes a long time and the light bulb has to want to change. '''How many Christian Scientists does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ None to change it, but one to sit and pray for the old bulb to come back on. '''How many government bureaucrats does it take to change a light bulb?'''\\ Let's see. One to spot the burned-out bulb, one to authorize a requisition, twelve to file requisition copies, one to deliver the requisition order to the purchasing department, one to order the bulb, one to forward the purchasing order, one to fill the order, one to receive the bulb . . .

---Tropers/Outsyder0486:\\ '''How many University of North Texas students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'''\\ Two: one to steal a lightbulb-changing tradition from another university, and one to change it. '''How many Texas A&M students does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ The changing of the lightbulb is a hallowed tradition and will not be divulged here.\\ Alternatively, 1,000: one to change it and 999 to loudly talk about how they changed it better than the University of Texas. '''How many University of Southern California students does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ None of them. [=USC=] is currently banned from changing lightbulbs due to recruiting violations.\\ Alternatively, just one, but the [=NCAA=] will force him to vacate the changing in five years. '''How many Sun Belt colleges does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\

Two: one to change it and one to become ecstatic that someone's actually mentioning the Sun Belt. '''How many Dallas Cowboys players does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ What does it matter? Jimmy Johnson wouldn't have let that bulb burn out! '''How many Washington Redskins players does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ None - Dan Snyder just buys a new lightbulb. '''How many Cincinnati Bengals players does it take to change a lightbulb?'''\\ Thirty - one to change it and 29 to run from the cops. ---Tropers/Ometta7 '''How many Juggalos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?''' Just one, so long as them lying scientists don't meddle with out light-bringing miracles and shit! '''How many zombies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?''' What are you, a moron? Zombies have no use for light! ---Tropers/LimeTH ''' How many {{Pokemon}} does it take to screw in a lightbulb?''' I don't know, the number increases every year. ---'''How many trumpet players does it take to change a lightbulb?''' None. They can just fake the changes. How many mouse clicks does it take to change a light bulb?\\ I don't know, but it only takes one to go back to the LightBulbJoke page.

LightningCanDoAnything * This troper's brother-in-law has recently been suffering from some health problems, and a few weeks ago, he was struck by a bolt of lightning. He suffered no ill effects, and for the next few days, he felt much better than usual - the pain he had been in subsided for a while, and his energy levels were much higher than before.

LikeAnOldMarriedCouple * Was told this recently by the resident ShipperOnDeck, much to

[[{{Tropers/Mercurius}} this troper's]] delight and her not-husband's dismay and disturbance. * In high school, this boy and I loved to get into arguments. I was never attracted to him in the slightest, which made my response to people invoking this trope something along the lines of, 'Okay, do I need to call the doctors in white coats or the DEA (drug enforcement agency)?' Unfortunately, that made people decide I was in denial. I'm not really sure how the boy felt about it, but 1.) he always had a girlfriend, and 2.) I secretly suspected he was gay. All that said, I did care for him as person more than I was, at the time, willing to admit. * This troper is in High School now and she frequently gets into arguments with a long time friend of hers. We frequently switch between yelling and cursing at each other to laughing and joking and helping each other with schoolwork and tests. This of course makes people think we like each other when we don't. It's gotten so bad even the teachers think we like each other. But I don't like him like that and he doesn't like me like that. Besides he's a {{BigManOnCampus}} with crazy {{fangirls}}. The last thing I need to deal with is his psychotic fangirls. * [[{{Tropers/MsChibi}} This Troper]] has a friend whom she constantly snarks at and who constantly snarks back at her. But he is not her boyfriend, and though she thinks he's attractive, she knows he's really not her type. * This troper actually has this relationship with two people: a guy from high school that I still hang out with who people constantly assume I'm married to because of the way we treat each other, and another guy from college whom I'm really good friends with, but happen to fight with all the time. * This tropette shared four of six classes with a guy friend back in high school. If given the chance, we will argue everything and anything (most are intellectually related, given that we were both nerds). The week where we didn't argue was after our biology teacher dropped the trope on us after seeing us bicker during a lab session. Awkwardness ensured for that week, but we were soon back to it in no time. Though there were never any rumours surrounding us, due to one not expressing any desire to date anyone (him), and the other being the epitome of quirkiness (me). * [[{{Tropers/Krytenia}} This Troper]] has a female friend; a mutual (male) friend described us as this, at which point I replied simply "Yeah, we argue all the time and never have sex." The slap I got from her after saying this [[HenpeckedHusband didn't help her case much.]] * [[{{Tropers/Xifihas}} This (male) Troper]] was once told that my dad and I were arguing like an old married couple. The person who said this, my mom. Things got really awkward quickly. * This troper and a guy in her class have been called this and at once we both started to deny it, to the point where the person who called them this said, "Further proof!" and then we both shut up. I'm pretty sure the teacher thinks this as well, because she never says anything during our spats. There might be some UST, but we're definitively friends. * Played with for me when someone I know commented that it would be

funny if me and a guy in my math class got married because we always bitched at each other about pointless stuff. * Disturbingly invoked during this troper's math class. With me, a 13year-old, and a kid 4 months younger than me, currently 12. Awkward. I act like a [[{{Adult Child}} 6-year-old.]] The rest of my friends act ''4.'' So I'm a {{Team Mom}} and he's a {{Team Dad}}. ''Awkward.''

LikeBrotherAndSister * This troper is often accused of being interested in whoever the girl he hang out with the most is. In fairness, I treat all girls as if they were my sister (being kind, opening doors, comforting them etcetera) which probably seems like being interested in them and so it's just a matter of whoever is seen with me the most is thought of as my love interest. * This troper and his best friend are like brother and sister - she is at my dorm very often, and has spent more than one night there. She even once slept in my dorm room (admittedly, I was on the far side of the country at the time). And there is precisely zero chance of us ever dating. She is my best friend, and if anything were ever to happen to her, I'm going to make use of those martial arts classes I took. But SheIsNotMyGirlfriend. Mind you, if reality is a TV show, then someone is probably shipping us. ** Updating to add that we've actually gone to the point of calling each other brother and sister. We've even listed each other as siblings on Facebook. * When This Troper is asked if she and her [[PlatonicLifePartners best guy friend]] are dating (this happens quite frequently, much to our unending annoyance), we tell them we are exactly this. * This troper and her best friend are somewhat like this. Lots of people have assumed he has or had a crush on me (whether he did or not is unknown), but we are not dating. This got a bit better once this troper [[IncompatibleOrientation came out of the closet]]. * This troper and her male best friend are polar opposites (I'm very passionate, creative, art-and-language oriented; he's very reserved, analytical, math-and science oriented) We've been best friends for eight years. If my life were a fandom, the leading 'ship would be he and I, despite having zero romantic interest EVER- it's gotten to the point where when people ask if I'm dating him, I answer "I would, if it wouldn't be incest." People don't usually bug me about it after that. * This troper had a relationship like this in high school. Unfortunately, our peers constantly asking us about our relationship eventually drove her insane, and she began to want to see less and less of me...[[UnluckyChildhoodFriend right when I realized I had liked her all along. Whoops.]] Sadly, the relationship was never salvaged. ** This Troper had this happen with his best friend, but it ended before High School. When she moved to Georgia. I was not amused. ** Switch the genders and that is ''exactly'' what happened to this Troper. We're still friends (Which drives his girlfriend insane), but we're not as close as we once were.

** Also happened to this troper. I was so tearful when our friendship died... * This troper's been told that her best friend has to be a male clone of her. Which is actually believable, but it would make [[BelligerentSexualTension our reputation]] more than a little [[{{Squick}} Squicky]]... * KrazehPenguin and all his friends fit together like some big family. * This is how [[Tropers/HopelessRomance I]] see my close male friend, who was my "date" to both junior and senior prom. My mom seems to [[ShipperOnDeck ship it]] enough that when I told her we went this photo booth at our Senior All Night Party where they "married" us, she seemed actually excited, despite it being a joke. She denies it whenever I point it out, but she's always saying things like "He's such a good ''friend'' for you!" * Hah, this troper has a guy friend she's known since preschool-- we fight, tease each other, share some interests, are pretty close-- kids at our school are SURE we "like" each other. Once, we were doing a play and tons of kids (who didn't know us) asked us if we were brother and sister. We replied: "We might as well be." * [[FreezairForALimitedTime This troper]] and her best friend have been HeterosexualLifePartners since middle school. While everyone (including our parents!) [[SheIsNotMyGirlfriend assumed we had a thing for each other]] for quite some time, we had similar thoughts to the above--"If we DID date, it would effectively be incest." Luckily, if RealLife is a TV show, there's zero chance of anyone {{shipping}} us now, due to the fact that said best friend has [[ComingOutStory come out]], and now probably has legions of {{Yaoi Fangirl}}s as an adorable, {{Keet}}-y {{Uke}}. * This troper as a situation like this, where we treat each other as 'the sister I never had' and 'the brother I never wanted'. It helps that her father thinks I'm gay, so he doesn't mind it when she comes to my place and we just talk until the sun rises. Her last boyfriend didn't find it so funny, though... * [[{{gadeel}} This troper]] and his best friend have known each other since before we could talk, and now we're both well into college, but people think of us as PlatonicLifePartners, so things that would be normally taboo for two people of the opposite sex are ignored with us. NotWhatItLooksLike situations were really not what they looked like, but there was some fun in tricking people in to thinking that we were doing ThisAndThat. * This troper met his best friend four or five years ago, and instantly fell in love with her. Turns out, despite it being OVER THE INTERNETS (Yes, on a video game. It was THAT NERDY,) she was around his age, interested in everything he was interested in, we got along perfectly, etc...cut to a few months back, [[TheStoic this troper]] is brokenhearted...for about [[HeroicSociopath five minutes]]. Cut to yesterday, and he finally, finally, after so much work, got to the point, "I love you...but you're like my little sister, now." And goddamn it, it certainly took enough work. * RadioactiveZombie's best friend of last year (we seriously need to get back in touch - DAMN YOU, COMPUTER!) was an attractive girl... and yet, we've never flirted with each other.

* This troper used to have a bit of an UnresolvedSexualTension with an acquaintance of his for about a year in high school. He knew it, she knew it, everyone who had seen them in the same room together knew it. Unfortunately, he was too chickenshit to do anything about it for a full year, and even then it was more "getting to know her with the intention of maybe perhaps eventually going on a date with her potentially." To this day, we both not only deny that we're dating to anyone who asks ''and'' any attraction before becoming friends, but we just outright cut out the middleman of confusion with "we're just friends... LikeBrotherAndSister" and go straight to "We're siblings, [[BrotherSisterIncest that's]] [[Squick disgusting]], go away. * This troper is asexual. She has fallen in love with one guy in her life. She has a lot of good male friends. Nobody ever, EVER believes this speech. ** I do. * [[GalenDev This Troper]] has to consistently convince strangers that he is not in fact dating his best female friend. It has gotten to the point where he gets increasingly frustrated with the claim, even stating a non-existent familial relationship to shut them up. * This troper and his best friend are often accused of being gay despite the fact that he's in a long term monogamous relationship with his girlfriend and this troper dates women. Like Brother and Brother I guess? * This troper and his girlfrien often do things to make us like this. * * A RealLife example with this troper's brother and his friend (1 year his junior). Hilariously, the rumor that they were 'an item' was so pervasive that she had to continue defending their pseudo-sibling status ''after he'd graduated.'' Even as his own sister, I would attest that they were solidly LikeBrotherAndSister. (This troper more or less 'adopted' her in the process, as well.) * This troper agrees with the above troper, having been in a relationship like this in highschool. In fact, the same rumors chased him around as well, to the point where the official boyfriend of his "adopted sister" was just about ready to punch his lights out. * This female troper is like brother and sister with this one guy she has known for 8 months so far. It just gets slightly creepy when he starts making sexual comments towards her...but nothing would ever happen between us because he's been crushing on this one girl from his high school for 2 years and I would never be interested in him after the whole practically-siblings thing was established (plus I've been crushing on/flirting with a lot of other guys)..Unfortunately [at least] one mutual friend has suggested that we were or were going to end up as a couple because we hung out a lot with each other for awhile * This troper has a friend like this. We met in my first year of college, we established that we have a hell of a lot in common, we're both [[DeadpanSnarker bitter smartasses]] with daddy issues, and I felt there was something there for a while, but she's taken, so we've stuck to the whole LikeBrotherAndSister shtick, and I'm really not complaining. She makes for an awesome sister. * This troper has a female friend with whom he can talk about pretty much anything, for hours on end, as if they'd known each other as well

as siblings. There's never been any romantic subtext, and her boyfriend is almost as close a friend with this troper as well. Meanwhile, said boyfriend's parents have at one point or another expressed suspicion that this troper and the female friend are hooking up. Argh. Thank heavens that said boyfriend doesn't believe it for a second. * Interlocking story with two of these; Girl 1 is one of my best friends. When we first became friends everyone who was anyone thought we were clandestinely doin' it(she had a boyfriend at the time). But it wasn't like that....until I suddenly realized that I was completely in love with her. There is also girl 2, who I really do have no romantic feelings for, despite her being a very good lookin' lady. Girl 2 was also madly in love with girl 1. Long story short, all three of us were hurt in the end, though I have largely kept my pain a secret. I realized that Girl 2 and I had this sort of thing going on for two reasons. One, Girl 2 didn't want to smoke(not tobacco, people) with me and me alone, because she thought that we might end up making out, and that it would be incest. I am inclined to agree. Reason number 2; Girl 2 was emo-ing over Girl 1 to this troper, and despite the fact that I am still pretty head over heels for girl 1, I am considering punching her in the face(just once, but with some effort) for what she(fairly unintentionally) did to Girl 2. * This troper has this with a girl he met in the first year of college. We bonded over our mutual geekiness (I introduced her to Firefly and [[BattlestarGalactica BSG]], she got me into Series/DoctorWho) and a couple of contemporaneous relationship issues, and for a while there a lot of people assumed we were together thanks to all the [[LikeAnOldMarriedCouple bickering]]. Rather worryingly, a good friend and my ex both thought [[NoJustNo we would end up together]]. I eventually started saying we were like the Doctor and Donna. Then we argued over who got to be the Doctor, and if we could be someone other than Ten. Yeah... * This troper has a pen-pal of almost a year. She can confidentally say that he is her best friend on this Earth and she worries about him and they're very close. BUT IT IS A PURELY _SIBLING-LIKE_ RELTIONSHIP. But if I so much as mention that he [[IfYouEverDoAnythingToHurtHer threatened a guy who wanted to date me]] or that he sent his birthday present poem to me at exactly midnight EVERYONE thinks it's a romance! God, man, we're like CONFIDANTES!! I am FED UP with having to deal with the accusation every freaking time! Can't a girl talk about her best friend anymore??!?!? Phew. Sorry for the rant. * I understand the person above in that one of my best friends since I was five is a girl who I literally view like a sister. I have given the If you ever do anything to hurt her spech to three different guys, and have been forced to back it up once as well. When she was involved in a serious car accident I went into BSOD for three weeks after which I remarked to her that I felt as bad as I would have done had my actual sister been hurt. * This troper's family has semi adopted someone. It's gotten to the point of this discussion: Me: She's like a sister to me.

Other person: You mean she's a good friend? Me: No. I hate her. She's really like a sister. * This troper strives to be the 'world's greatest big brother' due to being (essentially) an only child; I've got more sisters than I can count, really. I'd have to say the one I care for the most would have to be a girl I met on an MMO. I've known her for the past two years and have seen her (slowly) grow up, so it makes me feel like I've done something really important by bein' there for her. * This troper and his partner look very similar and often got mistaken for brother and sister. Then we kiss rather more passionately than is common for blood relations, and people get squicked. * This troper and his best friend, Kelly. They met in January 2009 during the Otronicon game/simulator convention when his band for the Rock Band competition randomly grabbed her on the basis that having a cute girl would make the judges give them a higher score by default. When in the same building, the two of them are inseperable and she once called him asking him to come over and cuddle with her while she watched ''Dead Silence'' because she doesn't have her boyfriend's number. Speaking of which, she's admitted she likes this troper more than her boyfriend in the first place. ** Oh, and as of August 29, 2009, they're dating now. ** Oh, and now both this troper's AND Kelly's mothers want them dating now. * Generally, this is what happens with gay guys and [[strike: straight]] all females. * This troper likes to adopt people. I tend to talk to them on my phone late at night, prompting 'Calling your boyfriend?' from my family. I usually reply 'No, that would be incest.' * This troper and her two best friends. Unfortunately, people keep assuming us to be in a three-way lesbian relationship. WE'RE NOT, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SACRED IN THIS WORLD. And, due to this trope, this troper's love life is doomed to crash and burn since she has a horrible crush on one of the two best friends. * This troper and her best friend who she has known since early childhood. It all started because their moms are best friends since high school and keeping it after since, and the friendship seems to grow on their son and daughter too. Both moms are so proud that even themselves announced to their other friends and colleagues that their children are as close as brother and sister (and always get the reply: "Why don't you just get them both engaged and married?"). Unfortunately this makes this troper develop a crush to so called brother and bouncing between the status {{Unlucky Childhood Friend}} and {{Victorious Childhood Friend}} until now. * This troper has been best friends with this guy since first grade. We're really close in our friendship being that we've been friends the longest out of anyone else. I've told him before myself that he's like the brother I never had. Twice before, people have actually asked us if we were brother and sister. * This lurker and his 95% lesbian friend. Our coupled friends are, of course, shipping us despite the fact that we are both more attracted to my actual sister than to each other (ie. 0% for me, considerably higher for her)

* This troper has three very close friends I consider to be my siblings, and one actual biological brother. Questions have been raised for all three non-biological sibs. I'm a girl. The one girl is asexual, one of the guys is gay, and the other guy is emotionally unavailable for several reasons. Add in the fact that the only one whose personality would make any kind of good match is my biological brother and that some of the age gaps are fairly wide. On top of that, people really seem to enjoy shipping my biological brother and non-bio sister who he also considers to be his sister. * When [[VeggiePopper This Troper]] realised his love for his best friend will be forever unrequited, in a final attempt to clarify things (and maybe get the girl), told her something in the lines of: "You know, I can't see a time when I like you only as a friend, at the most I might treat you like a sister". Then she took it literally and replied "Well, that's just fine, you more than a friend to me too, but I feel no attraction towards you, so yeah, let's have it that way". Since then, she calls me 'brother' and I ended myself calling her 'little sister', much to the chagrin of people around us who even today like to ship us together, which is sometimes creepy (I still have feelings for her somehow), but otherwise, I don't mind and I'm always the first one to support her with all of her crushes. Lovers come, overs go, but we're still togerher -'cause we're bro' and sis. * This Troper, with EVERY SINGLE GIRL HE'S EVER DATED (save the current one, thank god). It's like they don't even notice my attraction to them in that way at all. Partly my own fault, as I tend to be [[UnderStatement rather slow]] on building up a relationship. But, for a time, I was afraid I was going to end up a perpetual UnluckyChildhoodFriend. * This Troper is like this with her best friend. Everyone is convinced we are going out with eachother, and I do think hes good looking and a great guy, but it would just seem wrong if we started going out. We are alike in a lot of ways, and scarily, think alike. * The Troper and his best friend, although when it's just us two, we're pretty far from a platonic relationship. Half the time she tells me things she probably wouldn't have told her other best friends who were girls. And we've both seen each other various states of undress, and admitted we both find each other attractive, as well as flirt a lot. But don't let anybody WE know know that! * This Troper and his best friend. We're both gay and bicker LikeAnOldMarriedCouple, but there isn't a hint of sexual attraction in the slightest. This Troper's family and friends are constantly {{Shipping}} the two of us. * This Troper's mother had a good female friend in school, who had a girl that he grew up with, and despite not looking that much alike, were at least once confused to be siblings when they were children. She has started telling this to other people, and he quickly latched onto the idea, although his little sister teases them. * This female troper and her best friend have been LikeBrotherAndSister since kindergarten. So much so that even after I moved to a private school (in the same city as the public school, incidentally) and neither saw nor heard from him for 6 years until I moved back, we were instantly best friends again like we'd never been

separated. We've often crashed at each others houses after playing video games into the wee hours of the morning, though as soon as we admit to that, people automatically assume the worst or that we're 'an item'. Which is beyond irritating. Luckily, we go to separate schools (he moved away this time; unrelated reasons) so we don't have to deal with the immaturity of our peers. We're still teased incessantly, though people usually shut up when I ask if they're fans of incest. * This troper has a male best friend who has compared how he feels about her to how he feels about his sister. Very disappointing for this troper, who feels [[{{Understatement}}just a bit stronger than that about him.]] That having been said, we've both agreed we're PlatonicLifePartners, and this troper can only conclude that AllLoveIsUnrequited. * One of this troper's best friends is female, and he thinks of her this way. [[{{DeconstructedTrope}} Semi-Deconstruction]] (?) in that this troper takes family VERY seriously, and becomes [[{{BerserkButton}} absolutely enraged]] upon anyone aware of their relationship suggesting that they only call themselves siblings because the girl doesn't date younger men. * This troper got a text from her male friend saying that he saw her as a sister. Granted, there was [[UnluckyChildhoodFriend a lot more to it than that.]] * This troper has a rather lengthy story leading up to this. We lived around the corner from each other our entire lives, right up until she moved to university. We went to the same school and were always in the same classes. During very young childhood, we were really good friends. Then all of a sudden at about seven years old she started making fun of me/hitting me/teasing me etc. The relationship fell away for a while then, until we became friendly again at around ten. Then, this troper developed a crush on her, and admitted it to her in a very unsubtle and indirect way (though it was explicitly stated). Then we became fairly distant for about two years. Then I began to get over the crush and we went through a period of hating each other. Then at around fifteen we became lose friends again, then by chance fell into the same crowd of people at sixteen/seventeen, mostly due to a failed romantic relationship I had with her best friend. And for the past three/four years we've been LikeBrotherAndSister. Made better now by the fact that she has finally got herself a boyfriend, so now there's a way to get people to believe that we aren't interested in each other like that. And if he hurts her (unlikely, he's a nice guy) I'd smash his nose in. I think this qualifies, no? It may even qualify for UnluckyChildhoodFriend, as I'm still convinced there was a significant quantity of reciprocity of my affections for her, but in all honesty she's not my type. I don't lose any sleep over it. * [[Tropers/KamuiValentine This troper]] is like this with her closest friend. We didn't grow up together and didn't meet until this troper was fourteen and he was in his late teens. The fansite we met on jokes that we'd be a perfect match, if it wasn't for the sheer distance between us and the fact that this troper [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean bats for the other team.]] * I've got a friend like this. Our common ground being a love affair with ''{{Pokemon}}'' and being geniuses. But yeah. We get along well,

talk and joke often, but, like real siblings, never once have we breached the subject of relationships or feelings about others (unless we're ragging on someone). There is no spark. Luckily, no one seems to believe otherwise. * The only reasons that people never assume that my "brother" and I are dating are because we've often joked about us being separated at birth/actually brother and sister (we have the same hair color, complexion, eye color, etc, etc., so we occasionally make that joke to substitute teachers) and he has a girlfriend that he quite obviously loves very much, and I get along with her very well. But we stick up for each other and all that sibling-y stuff. ** What's really funny is he has the same birthday as my younger sister, just three years earlier, and looks more related to me than she does. * No matter how many times this troper pulls this card, her friends are convinced that me and my best guy friend are the perfect couple. And we've been shipped together since day 1, which was over four years ago. Thankfully, I have one supporter in a friend who told me that she cannot see me and this boy together at all. Now to try and convince everyone else... * This troper had this experience in first year high school. With a new student, no less. Who ACTUALLY called me an older brother. She doesn't call me that anymore, however. Back then, I was still recovering from [[NoodleIncident a shipping incident]], and, [[GenreSavvy predictably]], I was shipped with her for the rest of the year. Granted, it was sort of true, because I did have a crush on her, but we were still friends even after that. * Me and my best friend are really close and think of eachother as brother and sister. We are often shipped by other people we know, as we are both asexual and are not interested in other people in that way. We are so alike, more than any other people I have ever met. We share the same interests and have a similar personality-we could be twins! * In High School this female troper's best friends were a group of four guys who were all like my big brothers. The entirety of high school, everyone would ask which one I was dating, and I would respond "None of them. W is like my brother, so are X, Y and Z, and I don't think X, Y, and Z's girlfriends would appreciate it much either!" Though, there were incidents of crushing involved in the quintet at some points, turning it into a LoveDodecahedron that's HilariousInHindsight, but most often this trope was firmly in play. To this day, three of them are still like my big brothers. It was subverted though; the fourth is now my [[OneTruePairing fiance]]. * This troper and her friend have been like this for years. It's a really exaggerated example though, because we actually fight regularly like I do with my real brother. * When this troper's boyfriend in high school broke up with her, he made a comment saying my best friend and I would make a better couple, when he was truly like a brother to me. Doubly hilarious when said best friend disclosed the fact that he was gay... * This troper's best friend has told her she's like a little sister to him, and she thinks of him like a big brother. He's also happily

married. This does not stop many of her friends from continually asking whether or not there's anything between them, or if he's attracted to her, despite protests that they really are like brother and sister. * im a male teen, i knew this adult male who had been divorced and remaried, his daughter from his last marriage lives in another state, when she came to visit once and i met her for the first time, i kinda belived i liked her, but as i got to know her more(and as i relized she didnt like me that way) my relationship with her has gotten to be like this trope taken up to an eleven, aside from my family i love her more then any other human on this earth, but not in a sexual way at all, we have both called each other brother and sister many times. its a shame that we dont live in the same state, though we txt constantly. its interesting to note that i havnt had a serious crush since meeting her, i guess shes all the love i need... * This pageless troper has a pair of acquaintances who were frequently [[SheIsNotMyGirlfriend asked if they were dating]]. Apparently it was this trope being inverted, for the followup was generally a query about [[BrotherSisterIncest their biological relation to one another]]. Subverted in that they did eventually go in for a romantic overture. * This Troper used to be like this. Constantly being shipped. Check. Sibling-like arguments: Check. ''Actually being referred to'' as a brother (even though he isn't): Check. Mostly averted now. * Tropers/CorruptMaleMenace was recently forced to grudgingly admit this sort of a relationship with one of the girls in his uni-based {{Nakama}}, thus arguably downgrading him from CardCarryingVillain to JerkWithAHeartOfGold. It was kinda obvious anyway though - to the point where there were some [[ShipperOnDeck Shippers On Deck]] despite CMM being asexual. * [[@/{{Midna}} I]] have a very strange (and [[WeAreOurAvatars infamous]]) case of this for [[SuperdreadnoughtGirl4946 Mana Emiya]]... * This troper is said by my friend to be her older brother on acount of me being 6"1 and her being 4"11 acctualy being a age older then her being extremly protective of her slight aversion of the fact that she has said before she does have a crush on said troper * [[{{Tropers/Marr965}} Myself]] and my cousins. Not sure it really counts, and I very rarely get to see them, but since I'm an only child, I don't get many chances to act like an older brother. * This troper and one of her best friends. Everyone assumes we are dating, which [[BerserkButton is pretty much the only thing]] that can get me to go out of ShrinkingViolet mode around non-friends at school. Admittedly, said close friend used to have a crush on me, but... yeah, life's a lot less complicated now that I don't have to avoid him due to that fact and the fact that some of his friends used to go around shipping us (also much to my annoyance). XD ** Same troper again, we also have people convinced we're either blood siblings or adopted siblings. * This troper has a friend with whom he's only known for two years. When the two of us are together, people tend to laugh and tell us we're like brothers and sisters, the way we interact. "Hey - wait,

what?" "Wha?" "Wha?" "Shut up, you sound stupid." "HEY! You sound worse." yap yap yap. :) Thing is, I think we both have feelings for each other and to top it off, I have a girlfriend I love. So, her and I haven't hung out for ages - I don't even say hi to her anymore. It hurts, but I love my girlfriend and I know I would choose her over my 'sister'. However, that didn't stop her friends from shipping her and I together when she and I ended up together on the bus ride to and back several snowboarding trips with our high school. We both lean down to pick up something after something slips out of her hands and lands on the floor, we bump our heads into each other and look up only to be face to face. Less then a second later, genre-savvy me turns at lightning speeds to see her two friends looking rather excited and one with her jaw dropped. xD! It didn't help that the day she got sick while she was there, I was the one who took care of her and she ended up sleeping on my shoulder on the way back. Yes, this no longer fits the trope, no, I don't feel like myself today, and yes, I needed to write this down somewhere. next troper feel free to get rid of this. ^^ * How many times was I sleep troping on this page again? I'm basically the only person "sis" trusts. At all. Including (most?) of her actual family. * This Troper and her best male friend are definitely this. We've only known each other for about four years now, but we are ridiculously close and I probably get to hear more about his relationship than his current girlfriend does. Apparently, he also wards off certain boys that he thinks are bad news for this Troper, which is something she only recently found out about. ---Go back to Main/LikeBrotherAndSister, unless you're really [[BrotherSisterIncest more than friends]] after all. <<|TroperTales|>>

LikeParentLikeSpouse * [[Tropers/HersheleOstropoler My]] girlfriend and ex-girlfriend had the misfortune to have had fathers similar to me in personality, if not appearance. * My friend's mom was married to a total JerkAss before being dumped by him. She married my friend's JerkAss father and gave birth to my friend. She's a sweet, rather stupid woman who worships the ground her husband walks on. My friend is a sweet, hopeless romantic who dates JerkAss guys who treat her like dirt, trying to get love from them to make up for the fact her dad has never really loved her. * I've noticed that I tend to date guys who have some similarity to my dad. [[{{Megane}} Glasses]] for example, and a few [[SmokingIsCool smokers]], [[MustHaveCaffeine coffee drinkers]], musicians [[PowerOfRock (my dad plays a mean solo on the electric guitar)]].. ** This is not so {{Squick}}y to me, because I understand that this is because we seek familiarity in our partners. Makes sense that you'd want somebody who reminds you of your lovely childhood, right? ** Plus, my dad is a CoolOldGuy. Introduced me to PinkFloyd, LedZeppelin and other awesome musicians from before my time.

[[ProudToBeAGeek Yes, I listen to my dad's music]]. * This tropers friends boyfriend looks just like her dad. I got them confused once. * My mom fandom towards sports is what i like to consider "perfectly balanced" shes a fan of sports for sure,she owns plenty of cardinals merchandise, but ill never see her flipin out over a bad ref decision or a dumb play(cant say the same for my dad) i aprciate her not accting like a maniac compared to my dad so much, that her method of fandom is exactly the way i want my future wifes to be. * My boyfriend and my stepfather have much the same personality - the same grouchiness with the world, the same pessimism, and the same constant need to be picking on SOMEONE (usually me). The difference is that with my boyfriend, he does it with love and I find that its something which is necessary (if not always endearing). With my stepfather it always did (and does) make me want to hit him with a hammer. * It says a great deal about how much I worship my dad that the only man I've ever truly loved shared both my dad's intelligence and sense of humor. (Is this the only remotely happy entry on this page?) * This tropette hopes that if this is true, she finds someone more like her stepdad, who is a CoolOldGuy with a love of old rock (much like herself) and brilliant cooking (and parenting) skills, than her farther, a liar and loverat who left her and her mother when she was seven, right after she moved to a foreign country. ---Return to LikeParentLikeSpouse

LimitedWardrobe * [[Nintendude527 This troper]] owns two pairs of sweatpants, which I usually alternate between since I prefer sweats over jeans. * This troper has several shirts, butt the pants all look the same. Now the twist though. He -always- wears a T-shirt and his jeans. No matter the weather. It rains? Pah. Doesn't matter. The sun shines? Far to hot, but I won't change into anything else. Cold snowing winter outside? Alright, I might have to wear a jacket if I go out for more than 20 minutes. * This troper does this [[RuleOfFunny intentionally]]. He has a total of two "looks" (work, casual), and a winter variant for each look. Add in ''7 different colors'' for each piece of each outfit, and you have his wardrobe. He has the real life version of a Palette Swap outfit. ** Ditto for this troper. I'm not sure if it's because of my stint in the Army or not, but nowadays I just feel plain uncomfortable if I'm not in some sort of "uniform", even one assembled from random civilian clothing. * A friend of this troper wears the same sweater (and almost identical-looking pants) everyday. He explains that his mother does laundry several times a week. This troper has yet to point out that doesn't justify him wearing it all the time. * This troper has many pairs of the same brown pants and a jacket he is never seen without. Occasionally this troper wears green pants. * [[JohnnyBGoode This troper]] has a friend with about two sets of

clothes. Considering she is also abnormally small, is both a MoeMoe and a {{Meganekko}}, an otaku, and she speaks in a very stilted anime English, many of us believe she is an anime character. * This troper wears a red polo shirt and black pants every day. In the house he wears a black pair of shorts instead because his pants aren't as comfortable. He used to have really comfortable pants, but the bastards discontinued them (at least in black). * This Troper likes to do this a lot, only bringing out [[AvertedTrope Trope Averting Clothing]] on special occasions, like the Halloween Costume Contest at my Japanese club. Otherwise, my outfit consists of striped T-shirts (variety added with various patterns of stripes and of course PaletteSwap, but they're all T-shirts. Even in winter.). On school spirit week days, I have to actually plan in advance to ''avoid'' participation. (Due to athletic ineligibility (what kind of [[GratuitousJapanese baka]] thinks school spirit should be dependant on school sports?! Darn ten minute mile rule...), I could get in trouble if I participate.) Oh, and I ''always'' wear jeans to school. But at home (and in P.E. where it's a uniform requirement), I wear shorts. So more often than not, this trope applies * In high school ThisTroper was like this, believing it to be essential to being taken seriously by teachers. In college I finally grew out of it. Wearing collared shirts every day gets boring really quickly once you realize you're doing it. * Gray polo shirt, carpenter pants. Every weekday, without fail. The only way to tell the shirts apart is if they're covered in acrylic paint, ferric chloride, or ink. After six years of it [[{{Civanfan}} This Troper]] doesn't feel comfortable in anything else. * This contributor was tired of caring about what people thought of her puppy shirts and decided to dress so inoffensively and generically that nobody could find anything to criticize her wardrobe about. For a while, she was limited to models of the same pants (in different colors!) with slight variations, and the same patternless short sleeve shirt in different dark colors. She wore this year round, few exceptions. It got to the point where her friends jokingly excused her of dying the shirts between each usage. Thank goodness she's stopped... sort of. * Black Cargos and a Blue or Brown t-shirt.And one of 2 pairs of shoes. * Blue or black zippered hoodie, blue jeans, only one pair of shoes (the only one [[{{this-guy}} I]] own) and one of five t-shirts: TheBeatles, LedZeppelin, JimiHendrix, BobMarley and {{Ghostbusters}}. * I wore the exact same shirt, pants and shoes with identical socks for my martial arts class. I had them washed between uses, wearing different things at home. On the third day, I was asked if I showered. The laugh I gave in reply may have discouraged further conversation on the topic. * [[{{Nomic}} This troper]] has several nearly identical black shirts that he wears most of the time (sometimes he might wear his one blue or grey shirt instead). * DeuxHero might as well have this trope in effect, having little beyond blank (except some of the shirts haveing pockets) t-shirts, shorts, and pants (of verrying colors)

* [[{{evilpenguin556}} This Troper]] has very limited wardrobe. It consists of two t-shirts (a white one with the name of his film-group on it, and a black [[{{Frank Zappa}} Frank Zappa]] t-shirt), a flannel overshirt for whenever it gets cold outside, a single pair of jeans, three pairs of boxer shorts, a few pairs of socks, a pair of Blackspot sneakers, and a pair of Dr. Martens. He used to have a pair of plaid skinny jeans, but he gave them away to a friend, as he found them [[{{awesomebutimpractical}} inhibiting]]. Oh, but don't worry, he never doubles up on clothing (except the jeans) and washes all of it very often. * this Troper just received a call from her sister, apparently she can't borrow any of my dresses for prom because they're all black. * [[{{Twitch}} This troper]] generally wears one of eight identical black pocket t-shirts and six pairs of jeans, ironically, adopted after starting a job with no dress code. This troper was delighted at how it simplifies getting dressed, doing laundry and shopping for clothes, and usually only adds layers for cold weather. * This Troper's collection of clothing consists of: Three identical red shirts and three identical blue shirts in each of long and short sleeves, and about 8 identical pairs of blue jeans. * This Troper always wears identical (the only real difference is waist size) black pants every day that I have to dress up for work mainly due to the fact that I only have black dress pants and also the fact that I have a lot of open wounds on my thighs so that if they decide to bleed excessively during the day, I don't end with blood stains appearing on my pants at work. * Not quite as bad as the above, but [[MutantRancor this troper]] wears blue jeans, a solid-color T-shirt, and a solid-color jacket or unbuttoned solid-color button-front shirt. When it's too warm, I wear a solid-color T-shirt and blue jean shorts, and when it's too cold, blue jeans, a solid-color T-shirt, and a half-zip high-collared shirt, usually mad of fleece. Occasionally replace "blue jeans" with "khakis" or "corduroys" and you've got my complete wardrobe except for formal occasions. To top it all off, I have plenty of shoes, but almost always wear the same pair of khaki suede Sperry boating shoes (this troper does not have a boat, or for that matter, ever go on anyone else's boat--they're just very comfortable and durable). * Since Middle School, This Troper has always worn a jacket, a tshirt, jeans, and one pair of sneakers. I usually have a designated "usual" jacket and shoes for each school year (it's always a black or gray collared jacket, ''no'' hoodies). The one jacket/shoes will be worn every day, but the t-shirt and jeans will change. The jeans look almost identical: This Troper is stubbornly brand-loyal. On top of that, my clothing is always a couple sizes too big (It's suprisingly difficult for a teenage girl to find bland clothes). This inevitably leads to Troper's Mom becoming annoyed and confiscating my jacket near the end of each school year. * This trope pretty much defines this troper ** Work: black slacks with white button up dress shirt ** Around the house: black or khaki shorts with undershirt ** Other times: Blue or black jeans with a shirt. ** Often only really goes out on his days off so can probably be seen

in a similar shirt that he had on his last day off. * This troper usually ends up wearing one of two denim skirts every day. All this troper's shirts are the same style, differing only in color. Usually I wear the same sweater on a daily basis until it gets too worn out to use, then switch to a new favorite. This is somewhat of a problem, since this troper's mother thinks that this troper doesn't have enough clothes and buys stuff all the time. The result is a continuation of the default outfit and an overflowing closet. * If you see [[ARandomSerf this troper]], he will be wearing a black vest over some form of pullover shirt, generally with no design, and he will ALWAYS be wearing sweatpants (most likely grey or dark blue). Even if it's midsummer. * This troper's daily wear consists of white shirts and dark pants. The only variance is that there may be some kind of print on the shirt and a choice of several jackets for going out but only one pair of shoes. * This troper works full time and normally wears khakis and a T-shirt (there is a uniform, but it's so ragged and shabby I'm embarassed to wear it and I can't get another one). On her days off, she wears jeans and one of three shirts. * This troper, even though she ''does have'' more clothes than she wears, only uses three pairs of pants. A pair of black baggy pants, a pair of khaki baggy pants and a pair of baggy jeans. And all her shirts are loose and black (the print on them varies, though). * My wardrobe is like this. I have 3 pairs of jeans, two shorts, black dress pants, a blouse, and maybe about 10 t-shirts. My guy friend is worse with probably only 5 t-shirts. * [[{{Tropers/Lioyd}} This troper]] wears the exact same shoes and black hooded jacket every time he leaves home; he has exactly two identical black t-shirts and two quasi-identical pairs of trousers. Only the undergarments change. * You can instantly recognise this troper by sweater. Or rather, the four sweaters he is always wearing. Always, even in warm weather. While the rest of the kit changes from day to day, the troper can be recognised wearing one of two distinctive cream REEBOK jumpers, a plain grey one, or a white Surrey Plant one. * [[{{Xaris}} This troper]] has two types of outfits he usually wears: a blue shirt and tan pants for work and a band shirt (either {{Rush}}, IronMaiden or BlackLabelSociety), a pair of jeans and a full head covering bandanna for days off. * All of this troper's shirts are identical, and the same goes for his pants. I wear the same hoodie every day, so it really looks like I'm never changing my clothes, though one shirt somehow suffered a bleach stain and it's ruined the effect. * I wear one pair of jeans and maybe 5 shirts in rotation. I launder the jeans and shirts after each use though. Too broke for more clothes is the new chic. * This Troper has about 3 shirts, one pair of jeans, one pair of shorts, one skirt and one coat that she feels comfortable wearing down the street. * This troper's iconic dress is the gray t-shirt and jeans. He reuses the jeans over and over (sometimes varying), but the t-shirt stays.

He's not sure if it's a subversion, or just plain playing with the trope, he has the gray t-shirt bought in multiple copies so he can keep wearing it day in, day out. * This Troper always wears a dark colored hoodie when ever in public ( I feel naked without it) along with a T-Shirt and jeans. * This troper hates shopping, so her clothes are mostly t-shirts and jeans with ocassionally a hoodie for warmth. She hates shopping so much that she actually loves hand-me-downs, much to the chagrin of her mother. (Too bad this troper is now the tallest female in the entire existing family tree.) * This troper's one friend wears a plain black t-shirt and black shorts ALL THE TIME. To be fair, he's a computer science major, so maybe his head is just too full of 1s and 0s to have any room for creativity. * [[{{Max}} This troper]] actually buys multiple items of clothes that look exactly the same. Seven pairs of long black cargo pants, black long-sleeved shirts... et cetera. With a black (there's a pattern, you see,) wool trench coat, combat boots, fedora, and medical gloves. He just recently bought a black vest and two white dress shirts, to vary things...after a year. * This troper's friend is never seen without his brown corduroy jacket. * Forgive the dirtiness of this, but due to sharing a bunch of laundry with his brother, this troper wears stuff out of his dirty laundry. It's mostly just socks and pants, though, until the socks get so dirty that they're stiff with it, or whenever I'm able to find a new pair of jeans. * This Troper has always wears blue jeans and some form of jacket or hoodie. This is pretty much all school days even hot ones. * For this troper: Slacks, FunTShirt (either from a webcomic artist or a foreign country, or both in one case), and unzipped hoodie. The hoodie works in all weather between 20 and 70 degrees Fahrenheit. * I've decided to become self-sufficient since it seems odd for an 18 (almost 19) year old to be having his parents buy him clothing. Unfortunately I can't find a job, so I'm pretty much stuck with 2 pairs of jeans a few shirts (all of them black band shirts), about a week's worth of boxers, and about 20 pairs of socks (don't ask how I got that many, I don't even know). Luckily for me this was pretty much my look throughout high school and I'm very clean (to the point that one pair of jeans looks clean for a few weeks). * [[KingSonnDeeDoo This Troper's]] outfit pretty much consists of jeans (with faded stains of red paint), a [[FunTShirt Fun T-Shirt]], an old, dyed ex-NATO jacket, and a mismatched pair of Vans (also paint-spattered...I'm not a very neat painter). Work is pretty much the same, only with a large fleece replacing the jacket. * This troper had a science teacher in high school who was known for wearing the exact same outfit every day: a black polo shirt, brown slacks, and dark brown shoes. He's so well-known for it that during homecoming week, there's a "Dress Like Mr. Johnson Day". ** At this troper's high school, one teacher was (and, I believe, still is) known for wearing a blue collared shirt and khakis such that it's a MemeticOutfit.

* [[{{Cameoflage}} This troper]] can usually be seen wearing black jeans, a black pullover hoodie that says "meh." on the front, and black Converse. Also often some big red headphones. She has a diverse array of T-shirts, but the hoodie hides them from sight more often than not. I also have a second one, consisting of the same jeans, a usually dark-colored T-shirt, a checked zip-up hoodie, and plaid Converse. Occasionally I'll break from the trope and wear something completely different, either to dress up a little or just on a whim. * Long-sleeved dark-tone shirts from September to May. Short sleeved primary-color shirts from June to August. Loose full-length utilitarian pants are useful no matter the time of the year, or the temperature. This troper has been called out about this multiple times. * After five years being classmates, [[{{VeggiePopper}} this troper]] 's best buddy from college keeps on wearing the same olive green jacket he wore when I first met him. Once I drew a cartoon portay of him and of course I depicted him wearing that jacket. On the other hand, I'm pretty guilty of this, too: I only own two pairs of jeans (both dark blue) and I only use black or purple T-shirts (for work, I use the same colors on my shirts and ties, and only have one black suit). And no matter where I go, I always carry the same red backpack -even if it's empty to begin with. * This troper had a time where she always weared the same sandals, all her shirts were alike and, of course, all her pants were jeans. Not to mention my infamous military jacket and my eternal ponytail... * Seeing as This troper as an unusual fetish for shortsleeves and tshirts, he REALLY wants to meet some of these girls that are above. However as for HIMSELF, he had always worn a long-sleeve due to him havinb another unusual phobia for shortsleeves on HIMSELF. * ''Not'' [[{{Loracarol}} This Troper]], but this troper's brothers (mostly identical twin brothers). Someone once decided it would be a brilliant idea to get them fleece jackets, and now, well, let's just say that it is really easy to tell them apart because one is ''always'' in a blue fleece jacket, and black pants (with a green shirt underneath), and the other one ''always'' wears a black fleece jacket and black [=BDU=]s or shorts. Luckily, the black-fleece one is a little more open to wearing other things, but stil... * This female troper was once told by a guy in one of her college classes that she looks different every day, to which she responded that he always wore the same jacket. His response? "I like this jacket." * CrashGordon94 almost always wears a FunTShirt and Chinos, though I have lots of different ones, so it's a bit of a PalletteSwap thing, like the first guy on this page. * {{Miso}}'s wardrobe, summed up: Band t-shirts and jeans. The shirts are usually Ozzy Osbourne, {{Aerosmith}}, or {{ptitlewiz5pz1p}}, but she also owns two {{Nightwish}} shirts, two {{Rammstein}} shirts, two {{Korn}} shirts, a Black Label Society shirt, a LedZeppelin shirt, and a LinkinPark shirt. Also a Woodstock (yes, the hippie Woodstock) shirt for days around the house, and she always wears jeans and her glasses. When out, she also has buttloads of jewelry, combat boots, and a NiceHat. She also occasionally adds a BadassLongcoat just for the

lulz. * When this troper was in the Army wardrobe selection was easy. After retiring, however, he kept the spirit of the troper alive by splurging on a dozen dress shirts and half a dozen dress pants of varying colors. Everything got hung in the closet, and the daily outfit is the leftmost shirt and the leftmost trousers. If something doesn't match the next shirt in line gets pulled out. His fashion-conscious boss thinks he's crazy. * [[Tropers/SabresEdge This troper]]'s clothing tends to be variations of the same theme: collared shirt, sweater vest, long utility pants; PaletteSwap as necessary. No jeans; include trademark NiceHat(s) whenever possible. Sweater or collared heavy jacket optional. As he lives in Southern California, it's a slight challenge to maintain this throughout summer. ** Additionally, one of his friends is almost always instantly recognizable for wearing a knee-length, orange-trimmed black jacket. BadassLongcoat effect sets in. * This troper is recognizable at an easy half-mile thanks to their limited wardrobe, complete with a distinctive brown hat and black sweatshirt. * Statistically, most people wear 20% of their clothes 80% of the time. This troper certainly falls into that category. He has expensive items of clothing that are still virtually brand new because he has almost never worn them. * This troper has a bright red jacket she almost always wears everywhere she goes. On days she doesn't wear it, her friends complain it's a lot harder to spot or even recognize her. * In high school, this troper had a classmate who almost every day wore the same black shirt and tan cargo pants, occasionally wearing the same thing for a whole week. Unfortunately she's knows from sitting next to him every day that he often didn't do laundry or even shower between wearings. * Not completely limited, but this troper tends to be seen wearing a leather jacket (I have two), a t-shirt (occationally a shirt, often with a tie if the previous applies), jeans (or combats) and trainers (or black shoes if my trainers are unavailable). In summer, I don't bother with the leather jacket. In winter, I wear a (to everyone except me) oddly coloured coat: grey-green with a orange trim at the pocket edges. It is often the case that I end up wearing the same outfit I wore the previous week (after they have been washed, of course). This coat is practically my icon, as are my (often amazingly) eccentric hairstyles (which sets up for an awesome (well, to me) one liner: "it takes time and effort to get a hairstyle this bad"). ** Similarly, a friend of mine is known for wearing a trench coat in winter with a russian hat (you know the one). As you may have guessed, he is a fan of communism. *** Update: Literally! I've dropped the leather jackets and swapped my old coat for a [[{{PaintItBlack}} black varient]] and and added a black navy hat (I've also had a haircut). For some reason, I think I look a little bit like a 40k commissar in said attire. Or [[{{YuGiOhGX}} a certain guy who speaks in the third person occationally...]]CHAZZ IT UP! *Cough* Oh, did I mention I've also got

a new bag (which I didn't mention earlier: I had a navy rucksack, I now have a brown camping style rucksack)? Comments on this updated style have been...practically non-existant. But, it is still only the second day (first for the bag), so... * [[Tropers/ICantThinkOfAWittyName I]] always wear a baggy t-shirt with something [[{{DeadpanSnarker}} snarky]] written on it and blue jeans. The length of the jeans and the colour of the t-shirt may vary, but I always wear that 'uniform.' In fact I have six t-shirts, three pairs of jeans, one pair of thongs (i.e. flip-flops to Americans) and one pair of rip-off Converse. My family is not wealthy, as you might guess. * This troper grew up attending Catholic schools so became incredibly comfortable with the idea of wearing uniforms (it's no guess, no fuss dressing in the early morning -- how can one lose?), so sh-- er, I've played around with that concept. In college it was a limited array of blouses or shirts with jeans, and now in the workplace it's black trousers with dressy work blouses. And there are only three pairs of shoes I'll wear. * I wear a [[SuperMarioBros Green 1-up Shirt]] and black shorts A LOT!! My friends started talking about it and just to go over their heads, I wear it in the winter. I will regret that for the rest of my life. * [[Tropers/KatanaCat This Troper]]... well, I tends to wear exactly the same clothes day in and day out. I can't recall exactly how long I've been wearing this brown hoodie with this black shirt underneath and these black socks. And there was this one early summer where I only wore one purple t-shirt and a matching pair of purple shorts (What can I say? It's my favorite color!) for weeks on end, and there was one year where I wore the same thick warm hot pink socks all winter. When I can, I'll only wear a t-shirt, a pair of jeans, some socks, and a white belt - the color of the socks and shirt may vary, but the general theme will stay the same. Also, I have looked into my dad's sock drawer and found that he seems to only have thick black socks, and one pair of rainbow ones that he never wears. And he only has one or two pairs of shorts. He's also had friends who invoked this Trope. And I just ''can't'' understand ''supposed'' female obsession with owning more than 3 or 4 pairs of shoes that still fit... and 4 is [[Understatement a bit of a stretch]]. * This troper only has black clothes that all look more or less the same. His girlfriend is the same too, though to a slightly lesser extent. * I wear a dark green shirt, and jeans/dark green shorts at (almost) all times. people have started looking for the green shirt, which results in them being unable to find me from a foot away when I wear anything else. * Played strait with This Troper who friends only saw her in two different outfits of her own (besides school uniform, pyjamas, ect) ** A black shirt with long pink sleeves and black pants with a pink stripe down the side with black socks and red and white sneakers ** A green shirt show some scenes from a Manga she dont know with navy pants with a green stripe down the side and sandals Then Subverted when the holidays came around and it turned into

[[UnlimitedWardrobe Unlimited Wardrobe]]. Her friends were [[Understatement shocked]]. * This Troper is a perfect example of this trope. He wears nothing but black cargo pants and a black shirt with a red star on the front every day, and has nothing else in his closet, except perhaps for black shirts without the red star on the front, which he never wears. * This troper's entire wardrobe is novelty tees and cargo pants. Subverted in that I have seven pairs of pants and a month's worth of shirts, they're just all adorned with a band name or pop culture/nerd reference. * [[{{@/Deadbeatloser22}} This troper]] seems to only wear a T-shirt and a pair of hiking trousers. The only major variation, aside from colours and[=/=]or the design on the T-Shirt, is when I wear my school-leaver's hoodie over the top. * This troper suffers from this in the winter, having only four longsleeved shirts: a navy and beige jumper, a "fake vintage" cream sweater, a black long-sleeved shirt with silver embroidery and a black one with leather cuffs and neck. Not to mention always wearing ten pairs of VERY similar jeans and the same combat-green jacket with studs. * This troper ''always'' wears the same blue North Face jacket and jeans. The shirt that I'm wearing differs, but the jacket and jeans cement the image on their own. * This troper has neither the disposable income nor the inclination to spend more than about a tenner on any single item of clothing, so this trope is somewhat enforced. Half a dozen plain t-shirts and white button-down shirts each, two pairs of trousers (one pair of blue jeans, one pair of tan chinos), three sweatshirts and one pair of increasingly battered semi-formal black shoes work fine for everyday wear. * This troper generally uses one pair of boots for winter, two jackets (outside, third layer kind), with one being for heavier duty than the other, one pair of shoes and one pair of sandals for the other seasons, about three pairs of jeans, about four tops (male), and several t-shirts and pairs of socks, normally not visible. Over the course of a whole week, only one top-jeans combination is used unless it becomes unusable for some reason. Also, the footwear and jackets are black or grey, the rest is in varying shades of blue. Oh, and as a leitmotif, also a Scarf of Politeness, white, also on weekly shifts and three owned. The trope itself is probably subverted since the outfit changes each Monday, but there are only three versions unless it's summer, and the colour scheme is constantly identical. * [[{{@/DogLikeSparky}} My]] current wardrobe (pajamas and other miscellany notwithstanding, anyway) consists of band shirts (with the occasional cartoon/movie/video game shirt or long-sleeve shirt), a denim jacket I am rarely seen not wearing and three or four pairs of pants. I'll swap out the jacket for a plaid shirt if it's going to be too hot to justify bringing the jacket along, but there it is in a nutshell. * This troper has worn pretty much the exact same clothes (Jeans,plaid shirt,T-Shirt,Army Jacket) for three years and He doesn't plan on stopping anytime soon

* This troper sometimes wear the same pants or jacket two or three days in a row. When I was at school I used to wear the same uniform for three days but it's not like anyone notices. * I wear a t-shirt, shorts, and tennis shoes to school, and at home/ over the summer I just drop the shoes. If it gets incredibly cold (well below freezing) I will put on khakis and a hoodie. * [[{{@/IlluminatedDarkness}} I]] wear the same hoodie daily. [[JustifiedTrope Justified]] in that it counters my [[ShrinkingViolet Social Anxiety]]. * This troper almost always wears a sky blue t-shirt and slate shorts in summer. In winter, he almost always wears a sky blue t-shirt and tan pants. His dressier clothes consist of a dressy sky blue shirt and dressy tan pants. Has he mentioned that he likes the color sky blue? * Since many schools in the UK have uniforms, everyone would wear the same thing for five days. Obviously not EXACTLY the same, they'd wear clean shirts and stuff, but it all looked the same. * All year round, I wear a black T-shirt, grayish black pants, a blue striped jacket, and running shoes. I have five pairs of those pants, seven of the shirts, two of the jackets, and I wear the same pair of shoes until they have holes in them. * Over 40 plain black t-shirts (whenever a new one was needed I would buy a pack of 3 or 5 without paying attention) and black skinny jeans for most of the year, winter introduces a long sleeve thermal black shirt and summer sees black shorts and white t-shirts (over 20, same story) and one pair of black sneakers I have owned for over 7 years. * This troper always alternates t-shirts daily, though they usually look similar to each other. As for pants, he tends to alternate being exact lookalike sweatpants. The only time he wears something other than pants are A) he needs to wear something else for a play or video, or B) he needs to look fancy. * This troper will now list his clothes for going out (not including underwear): 2 pairs of black khaki pants, 20 pairs of black socks, ten black pocket tee shirts, a black zip up hoodie/cult outfit, and a tan belt. For in house clothing: a pair of grey sweat pants and a white shirt. All of my friends called me out on this after a while and I had to show them my closet. ---Go back to [[{{LimitedWardrobe}} Limited War]] - are you wearing that same old thing again? ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LineOfSightName * My high school Spanish teacher once told a story about a friend of hers who was vacationing in America and saw a name that she liked on a mailbox and ended up giving it to her son. That name is Usmail. * When thinking of something that involves random objects, I ussually have objects that are near me pop into mind. It's subverted however, as I ussually dismiss these because I don't think they're creative enough. It ussually throws me off sometimes though.

* While not quite a line of sight ''name,'' this troper was playing a forum-based roleplay, and needed something pointless and stupid for a character to say. Her eyes alighted on a tin of cashews. Thus, she made him say "cashew." Said character ended up becoming her EnsembleDarkhorse, and even though he only ever used the "cashew" line once, the phrase became inextrictably linked with him. To be fair, [[SureWhyNot this troper has run with it somewhat.]] * This troper's family legend states that we had no last name until a census-taker walked into the family pub and asked for one - at which point great(x)-grandpa looked around and saw a jug. * This troper had a history teacher who claimed his last name was "Sample" because, when his ancestors immigrated, they did not want an ethnic-sounding name, and chose the first thing they saw on the citizenship application. * This troper and her friend had a lot of fun creating an imaginary guy with a line of sight name. his first name was Two-dogs, and his surname was Love (can you guess his middle name). Cue hysterical giggles. * Aversion: In order to avoid exactly this trope, this troper has invented a fistful of false names for use if it ever becomes necessary. Jason Grey, at your service. ** This troper thought that he was the only person who did that. Mr. Grey, I'm very pleased to meet you. My name is Paul Farquahr. *** Fred Farquhars. [[CompletelyMissingThePoint Are we related]]? *** Samuel Mansed. The pleasure is mine. **** Cynthia Dreyfus, at your service. ***** Pleased to meet you. I'm John Sharp. **** Sartorius Kemp. (Okay, they probably won't believe that one.) **** Gentlemen, ladies, I'd like to introduce myself as Ronald White. ***** Tater Salad? ***** [[AustinPowers I'm Richie Cunningham, and this is my wife... Oprah.]] **** Hello, I'm Harmony Arkamen, it's a pleasure to meet all of you. **** Eldon 'Wolf' Hughes. It's an absolute delight. **** Maya Hunter, nice to meet you, sirs and madame's. **** Alexander Grassthunder. Pleased to meet you. *** {{Hello}}, MyNameIsInigoMontoya, YouKilledMyFather, PrepareToDie. **** It's a pleasure meeting all of you. I'm Alan Mallagan. **** I'm Michael Glaseno, and I'm all of a flutter. **** Name's Tony Wheeler. Don't wear it out. *** Hi, I'm Patience Wood. Or Franny Leeman, take your pick. *** [[TropeKira Stewart Dent. Don't call me Stu.]] *** Pleased to meet you. Cassandra Taylor at your service. Don't call me Cassie. *** [[RedVsBlue My name is Michael J. Caboose, and I HATE BABIES.]] *** [[Tropers/{{Ladygem}} I'm]] [[SignificantAnagram Gemma Tepz,but my friends call me Gem]], it's been a pleasure. *** Harrison Potter . . . [[BerserkButton but don't call me]] [[HarryPotter Harry]]. *** The Qubcois Julien Tremblay salutes you all, sti. *** Nick Samuels, the cover name for Cornelius William Baker, which may or may not be a further cover name, sends his greetings.

*** Eric Mulligan. How may I be of service? *** I'm [[AwesomeMcCoolname Ruby Winter]]. It's a pleasure to meet you. *** [[MutantRancor Brian William Black]] at your service. Or maybe I'm [[MutantRancor Micheal J. Long]]. Or [[MutantRancor Jett Jinn]]. Or [[MutantRancor Link Rond]]. Or [[MutantRancor Mugen Tsunami]]. Or even [[YuYuHakusho Suichi Minamino]]. I hope you didn't just control-click all of those, because they all lead to the same place. [[spoiler:Except the last one.]] *** Greetings, I am Vulpa Lupa. Or Lupa Vulpa. Or just plain Lupa. Take your pick. *** Hey-lo, [[StellarName Arcturus]] [[MahouSenseiNegima Rakan]] [[{{Lost}} Faraday]] is the name. But my friends call me [[QuestionableContent Pintsize]]. (I'd have chosen Sirius as the first name, as I find it the best star system ever. However I find it is somewhat overused. Plus Arcturus sounds cooler.) *** Pandora Lathbert. Hello to you all. *** My name is Warren P. Sullivan, have you met my brother Walter Gamble/Robert Smith? *** How do you do? Marisa Maribel is pleased to make your acquaintance. *** Harry Toraz here, what can I do for you, sirs and madames? I may also be [[LoadsAndLoadsOfCharacters Abe Honor, Dottie Wright, Bunny Cabinette, Tod Tfing, Booker Post, Paz Potter, or Cal Pumpkinish]]. *** Donovan McLellan, of Kirkcudbrightshire, here. With accent in full effect. *** Mary Anne Langley reporting for duty. Ashleigh Hawke also sends her warmest greetings. *** I'm Spartacus **** No, [[IAmSpartacus I'm Spartacus]]. *** [[TheSimpsons Hola, I am Esteban De La Sexface.]] *** Lazarus Quinn here. *** Marissa Bean. Nice to meet you. *** Rose Lash. Great to meet you all. *** Tobias Smith. Call [[{{Tropers/Unhari}} me]] Toby. *** Lainey Nash, here! Though I also go by [[LoadsAndLoadsOfCharacters Oriana Van Der Kaiboetje, Io Alighieri, Penelope Crane, and Liopleurodon Smith-Rhodes.]] *** Hello, I'm Klaus Chadman. *** Grace Gardener and her Boyfriend Kyle Kiran say Hi *** Elaine Walker, it's a pleasure. [[OrIsIt Or maybe I'm Annette Cygnus?]] *** Patrick Smith, DON'T Call Me Pat! * This troper usually puts more thought into his characters' names, but he did once name a character *sees an empty Vault and a d20* "Can... dice. Candice." * A local band composed of four of my classmates named themselves "Deep Frozen" on their first performance. After being asked what their band was called, one of them looked around and spotted a crate of frozen food. * In an interesting variation, [[{{nine}} this dude]] has used whatever's nearby or on his mind as his password. Which has resulted

in at least one of his high school classmates being one of his passwords. * All of her life, ThisTroper has been mistakenly called "Rachel". This was understandable in junior school when her best friend was named Rachel and people regularly mixed them up, but she fails to understand how people nowadays who have ''never met or heard of'' that Racel STILL call her by this name. ThisTroper supposes that she just looks like a Rachel, so in any situation where a false name may be needed (don't ask), what's the first one that pops into her head? Rachel. ** I'm Molly for the exact same reason. It's gotten to the point where half my acquaintances think I'm named Molly, and get very confused when people ask for me by my real name. *** Similarly, I'm Michelle. It was a bit of a BerserkButton for me in middle school when I didn't even know any similar-looking Michelles, but now I'm used to it. ** Nice to meet you guys. I'm apparently Sarah. I've been told that I look like a younger and less cracked-out Sarah Silverman... but not really. * This troper needed two names for a story he was writing for a high school class and went with those of the first two classmates he saw. * For no real purpose, this troper has made a game out of trying to make up a line of sight name or two anytime he goes out for a walk by himself, some vaguely plausible ("hmm... Dunkin Donuts... Cumberland Farms... Duncan Farmer!"), some intentionally ridiculous. He now sort of wants to write a story that features a character who is terrible at coming up with aliases as a running gag, if only so he can do something with such gems as Brick Treehouse, Steve Laundry, and Jehovah Repairs. * This troper's current D&D character has the surname "Gale" because it was really windy while I was walking to the first session. * This Troper was writing a story and she couldn't think of a good last name for a character. For some reason the Monty Python "defense against people armed with fresh fruit" sketch was playing in her head, specifically the part where the instructor calls one of the students "Mr. Tinned Peach", needless to say, my character's last name became "Peach". * [[{{Pinkbaron}} This troper]] named one of her characters Eddie because Van Halen was the first artist she heard after pressing shuffle on her iPod. * Whenever [[{{Gecko}} this troper]] plays ''ZooTycoon'' or something similar, a lot of her animals end up named this way. * This troper was joining a RP-based wrestling league and needed a name for his edit. While wracking his brain, his eyes drifted to a receipt from a recent bookstore visit. He had purchased two books Foley Is Good and The Firm. That night, Mick Grisham was born. * This troper's grandmother didn't have a name for the first few days of her life; her parents just didn't know what to call her. That is, until her dad saw "Eloise" on a cigar box a few days later. * Somewhat of an inversion...[[{{valbinooo}} I]] named one of my characters Abigail because it was the title of a song by my favorite band, but not because I was listening to that song at that precise

moment...In a slightly straighter example, I was listening to a song by tool and thew in references to "46 & 2" and "Lateralus" into the poem I was writing. * [[JosephStaleknight The name Staleknight]] came from two familiar chess terms (I was a chess enthusiast back then). The first name later came when I needed something euphonious to match the surname. * My stepdaughter, playing a DS game in the bathroom, named a character "Toilet." * This troper heard a joke similar to this. -->"Why are so many Italians named Tony?" -->"Because, when they were shipped to Ellis Island, they all got To:NY (to New York) stamped on their forehead." * When this troper switched deviantART accounts, she had to think of a new username right off the bat. Then she looked to her very messy floor... Her name is now Socks-and-Notebooks. * This troper plays games in his very book-cluttered room; stuck for a name for TheHero in SwordOfMana, he happened to notice Joseph Conrad's ''The Red Badge of Courage''. Hence, Konrad, which turned out to make perfect sense in the Germanic-themed Granz Realm. * [[TequilaSunrise2011 This troper]] is notorious for [[LineOFSightName Line of Sight Names]]. She has a story with a character who tells the bus driver his name is "Esteban David Enrique the Third" to avoid being in trouble. Why is he named that? This troper was watching TheSuiteLifeOfZackAndCody There is another previously named Stephen from a classmate, another named Estelle because the song [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ic5vxw3eijY American Boy by Estelle]] was playing, and another [[CuteBruiser girl]] [[LittleMissSnarker named]] [[KingdomHearts Roxas]]. Hell, her screenname is because her aunt was MAKING THE DRINK Tequila Sunrise. There's also apparently a movie by the same title. * At school, many moons ago, we were recording some kind of roleplay interview thing, and one girls' mind went blank when asked to give a name on the tape. Looking around, she caught sight of a display of the class's recent work, and gave her name as 'Tesselation'. * This troper named his old cat Penny because he was sorting some coins at the time. In an alternate universe, her name is [[{{Incredibly Lame Pun}} Nicole]]. I'm sure of it. * [[{{Tropers/KingSonnDeeDoo}} This Troper]] was once trying to think up a name for a male character in a story she was writing, when she saw a book called (something along the lines of) "The Leon Valley". Thus the character was named "Leon". * This troper had more of a case of "Line of Sight Conversation Topic" with a friend. -->Friend: Hey, troper! What's up? -->Troper: Uh....*looks at hand* Ice cream? * One could argue this and Chromatic Theme Naming with This Troper's recent set of books he's been working on. All of the dragon characters are named after the color of their scales. Characters I've got: Indigo, Stizza (a dark red), Ceil (a light blue), Cerise (a pink), Sinopia (orange, I think?), etc.

* This tropette's mother almost married a man named Nosmo King. * How I created my universal username, I saw a book of greco/roman myths while trying to decide. I flipped through the book for ideas and it opened to the split between Minerva/Athena and Diana/Artemis. My little mind gears blurred them and I grabbed part of each Athena and Diana (the Athe and dia) and got my name Athedia. * As mentioned in the Real Life section, many last names are based on the geography of the land the family lived in. My surname comes from Norway, but doesn't end in "-son," so I wondered what it meant. After a bit of research, I discovered that Moen means "meadow." ---Go back to uhh...[[LineOfSightName Line...uhhh...of sight...]] uhh...BuffyTheVampireSlayer. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LinkedListClueMethodology *[[{{Karalora}} This troper]] and her sister used to pass lazy weekend and summer days by setting these up for each other, usually in the form of a series of rhyming couplets that led to various points around the house and backyard, finally culminating in a "treasure" consisting of cheap plastic costume jewelry that we already owned, or something along those lines. [[AWinnerIsYou Sometimes not even that.]] But it was always fun, for both the clue-writer and the clue-figurer-outer. Then a couple years ago for the Spring Equinox, when we were sharing an apartment, I surprised her by taking a day off work without her prior notice and setting up a spring-themed treasure hunt with the benefit of an adult intellect and income--i.e. the poetry was better, the clues were more cerebral, and there was an actual prize (Easter candy). It was just like old times, with the added bonus that she never saw it coming. I even pretended to leave for work in the morning, came back after she had gone so that I could set everything up, and then left again before she came back in the evening. Alas, we are no longer roommates, so I can't do it anymore. * An Easter tradition in the {{blakyoshi7}} household involves a long trail of plastic candy-containing eggs leading out from you bedroom door to a piece of paper describing the location of a much larger prize- and yet another clue! By the time you're done, you might be having trouble holding it all. ** Ditto for [[{{Hinoa}} my]] dad's side of the family, at least when I was a kid. Now that I have a little half-brother, my dad and stepmom are starting to do it for him, too. Granted, the kid's two, so they kinda dumbed it down a bit... * This troper's parents used to set this up for his and his sisters' birthday parties. This was part of the reason why, despite being a loner and outcast, nobody in class wanted to miss this troper's birthday parties. ** Up until sometime when we'd both hit our teens, this was a birthday

custom for this troper and her sister as well. But it wasn't really proper clues so much as just 'go to $LOCATION', with the last one being where the presents were. As it was the sibling's job to make the chain of pointers, we eventually started using them as transparent excuses to make each other run between opposite ends of the house as many times as could be arranged. * This troper used to do this to entertain her sister and friend when it was pouring. * And a quick tip for others who might create these from good ol' [[Tropers/RobinZimm Report Siht]]: make sure your clues can't be misinterpreted to ''skip ahead''. Otherwise, it was a really cool way to give a dozen fifty-cent novels as a birthday present. * [[PentiumMMX2 This troper]] and his sister did this a few times when they where younger. She had fun writing the clues leading to the treasure (Usually some candy), while I had fun following them. I'd love to do something like that again... * Back when my family would go on ski trips for a week at a time with friends, all us kids took turns setting these up. There were even different levels, as we were all different ages. * Tropers/{{JET73L}}'s father did this to the troper's mother's eldest sister once, when he got her name for the Christmas gift exchange. It ended with a [[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming high-quality set of earrings]] [[CrowningMomentOfFunny in the otherwise-empty box for a huge yet cheap stereo set]]. ----Follow the last clue back to LinkedListClueMethodology. ----<<|TroperTales|>>

LIsForDyslexia * [[InvertedTrope Inverted]] with [[{{EPIC}} this Troper]]. I'm hyperlexic, which means that at 1 and a half years old, I learned how to read, [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch beeyitch!]] ** Congrats. You have made everyone else on this page feel like crap. [[SarcasmMode Really, thanks.]] *** To be fair, it also means s/he has trouble communicating (potentially autistic) and doesn't play with others * I had extreme dyslexia as a kid, but it has gotten a lot better in recent years. But I somewhat commonly misspell "Henry" as Henrey" and saying "Half glass full" instead of "Glass half full". However, sometimes when I'm talking and I don't remember how a word is pronounced, I attempt to remember how to pronounce it by spelling it in my head while saying it out loud. More often than not, this results in me slightly mispronouncing it the first time, really mispronouncing it the second time, EXTREMELY mispronouncing the third, and everything after that being gibberish. When I realize what I'm doing via DoubleTake, I A: sigh, FacePalm, and try one more time before giving up or B: Purposely continue to say gibberish like I'm not doing anything wrong, and cause everyone in the room to laugh.

* This troper's brother has a learning disability that nobody detected until he was older. My brother drew a picture of plane, and wrote "West Noth Airlines" on the side (yes, without the "r" in "north" and yes, we fly Northwest). Also, spring onions became onion springs, and carpark was "pakcak". * This troper is mildly dyslexic. Reading is simple enough (except with words that are only one or two letters off), however without careful concentration when writing essays, words or numbers will often get quite jumbled, resulting in one AP US History essay about the Salem Witch Trials of 1962. * After making fun of an extracurricular instructor's horrible spelling all through middle school, this troper and her friends got to high school and were informed that this individual is severely dyslexic. * The Hollywood version is occasionally TruthInTelevision, as is the case with both my husband and my daughter. They both transpose letters all the time, especially my husband. The school has been great about helping my daughter learn to cope, but people hardly even knew what dyslexia ''was'' when my husband was in school, so he's had a lot harder time of it. It was so terrible when he was in his early twenties that he managed to spell 'California' as 'Kalfornia'. I still can't let him make grocery lists because he sometimes comes up with things even I can't decipher. * This dyslexic Troper wrote her numbers backwards unit the 4th grade, only stopping with the help of a teacher, and still gets lower case b and d mixed up if she's not paying attention. She also has horrible spelling, but the result is usually words that make phonetic sense but aren't anywhere close to how they're supposed to be spelled rather than randomly mixed up letters. The exception is that sometimes she'll mix up the vowels in words with 2 vowels in a row, the worst offers are bieng(being), becuase(because) and [[{{Pokemon}} Arcues(Arceus)]]. Also if she reads a new word without bothering to sound it out she'll mix up or ad letters in her mental pronunciation. * Are we allowed to talk about dyscalculia? Because according to ThatOtherWiki, I could have it * This troper becomes mildly dyslexic when my mind gets ahead of my mouth. In addition to what some people mistake for AttentionDeficitOohShiny, this can result in situations of IReadThatAs and odd cases of word mashing ("Medium Mixed Breed Dogs" became "Medium Bricks Mead Frogs"). ** This Troper has the same problem. When my eyes/mouth just keep going (and i can talk FAST for a LONG time, much to others' exasperation), I start to garble words, to the point where all my friends now accept that i remove usually necessary grammar in exchange for more adjectives and nouns and verbs. Hilarity Ensues when i have a sentence that comes out worse than Engrish. * This Troper is dyslexic, and was flipping surprised to find out, since she hasn't had any especially strong difficulty with grammar and spelling since her early teens, give or take a few mixed up letters and words, and the fact that pink or peachy coloured text makes her eyes hurt. She didn't know until that point that dyslexia covers a far wider range of problems than just difficulties with spelling since

it's a problem with how the brain processes information, and every act a body carries out involves some of those processes. My own problems include an inability to understand directions given by ear (auditory processing), trouble with explaining simple processes aloud, an inability to distinguish between different symbols such as maps or road signs, and a problem with mathematics (dyscalculia). I also garble a bit, like the above tropers (not alone, guys). Dyslexia is a pretty wide ranged thing, really... It'd be nice to see other examples of it portrayed in the media. * This troper is convinced that his sister is: she takes so long to read that I've never seen her finish a reasonably small book within a week and her sentences are a frequent source of amusement amongst everyone else. Ironically, she is studying English Literature. This troper? He would argue himself at having better than average reading and writing skills (case of point, it took him a week to read IT by Stephen King: it is almost 1400 pages long and he can still remember quite a lot of it). * I am extremely dyslexic, dyscaculic, and dysgraphic. To the extent that I had to listen to audio books though 5th grade for reading assignments (and was to all extents and purposes illiterate until 4th), still write numbers and number symbols back wards, and own a laptop simply because my teachers no longer allow me to hand write my assignments. I would qualify as a trained word blind dyslexic. They discovered my dyslexia in 1st grade and I immediately began 8 years of extensive tutoring three days a week every week (mines one month when my tutor had heart surgery) for all aspects of non-oral language/communication. As I was then attending a privet prepitory school I was "not welcome back for another semester" after my diagnoses. My current school refuses to recognize my learning disability due to my extensive verbal ability (speech was my only form of effective communication until I learned to type) and my early diagnoses. My dyslexia is compounded by myopia, ADHD, multiple forms of anxiety, bipolar disorder and all the lovely complications of living with alcoholics. This entry has been spell checked. * I accidentally found out that a freshman in my school is dysgraphic when joking about the fact that he uses an iPad to take notes. It was quite embarrassing, to say the least. * My sister is dyslexic, and it took her a long time to fully learn to read, while I've always been the family bookworm who's read everything, spells everything perfectly, etc. Joke's on me when we play Scrabble, though-- her inherent ability to scramble words makes her beat me every time. * This troper, reading from, a book on dyslexia. "For example, someone with dyslexia might read the number 12 as... CRAP, I mean the number ''21'' as 12... I swear that I didn't do that on purpose." It caused me a lot of grief in school, as no one actually believed that I'm dyslexic because of my grades. Little did they know the sheer anguish that I had to go through to get those grades, which could have been even higher, but no one wants to help the girl with straight A's get even higher straight A's. I still get palpitations at the thought of tasks like the ones that caused me trouble in school. In fact, I'm getting palpitations just writing this! Lovely.

* Troper is ridiculously good with reading. Her HeterosexualLifePartner is so badly dyslexic as to be functionally illiterate. She's insanly good with art and sewing, which the Troper has two left hands for. My de facto niece ([=HLP=]'s daughter) is also very badly dyslexic, but made it work for her; because she couldn't read the subtitles on the anime everyone was watching, the kid picked up Japanese from an early age. The Japanese writing systems also are pictographic and don't reverse or invert in her head. She will probably end up reading Japanese better than English, as the kid's already reading untranslated manga. * [[Tropers/AdelePotter This Tropette's]] best friend, who usually had me check her schoolwork and edit her spelling before handing it in.

LiteralGenie * It's a common practice in Chemistry classes to teach the class the importance of specificity in directions by having students write directions for some mundane task, and for the teacher to follow the directions specifically and with absolutely no additions. This Troper still has very vivid memories of a chemistry teacher doing exactly this (though swapping PB&J for grilled cheese sandwiches) and then gleefully ''making us eat the results of our instructions.'' * It's also common in programming courses, because of aforementioned [[strike:tendancy for computers to take]] characteristic of computers of taking everything literally. * My hockey coach actually had us do this with each other, not only for the reasons above, but to have us learn autonomy. Practicing bodychecking when you're being told in an incomplete way to do it is a lot less fun than it sounds... * [[@/WanderlustWarrior One troper]] was wishing that someone in his hometown would rescue him from his current boredom. On his drive home, he saw a person with a cape driving a segway down a major road. * This troper has figured out a wish to subvert this trope: "I wish all my wishes are interpreted my way." ** Wish granted: but no more wishes. * Once, This troper, when ordered to get all the milk crates off the sales floor, put them onto a dolly, and wheeled them just inside the produce doors. He then went on break. The boss was not amused.

LiteralMetaphor * This troper once received a fortune in a cookie which read "Travel an unpaved road with a new friend." Being an avid road-tripper, you can guess how he interpreted that. * This troper is a linguistics major, and has ''a lot'' of fun with this trope. * [[{{Eddurd}} This troper]] was once helping his wife with the chores. When she brought in the clean sheets from the laundry, I offered to help her make the bed. She quipped back, "And after you make your bed, you can lie in it." So, as soon as we were finished, I stretched across the bed, smiled up at her and said, "Gee, honey, you look like you've lost weight." (It took her a moment to figure it out

... and several hours to forgive me.) * [[{{LIGHTPIE777}} This troper]] once had this conversation regarding his internet connection with his friend. --> Troper: ''My internet connection is crap right now.'' --> Friend: ''Ahh, I know the feeling. The same thing happened when I got a new wifi. We couldn't hold connection for more than a minute.'' --> Troper: ''No, I mean my modem has literally turned into a heaping pile of fecal matter, probably that of some animal species.'' --> {{Beat}} --> Troper: ''I just Google'd it. It's an aardvark. It's aardvark feces.'' ---Head back to LiteralMetaphor, which is white with innocence. <<|TroperTales|>>

LiteralMinded * [[@/{{Fish}} This one]] tends to not get jokes based on puns, but corrects the factual errors (Like saying "Blindworms aren't actually worms, they're a legless lizard" or "Actually, that word is derived from a completely different root"), often ruining the joke. ** Did [[@/{{Haza}} I]] put this here and then forgot about having written it? ** I think [[@/AckSed I]] have a doppelganger. For added frustration,people do not get ''my'' puns. ** Oh, no. I found a conversation I clearly held with [[Tropers/{{INUH}} myself]] on Tv Tropes under several pseudonyms. I've finally abandoned what few shreds of sanity I had left. * This troper sometimes will play a LiteralMinded person on purpose. On one occasion, this troper was next to a couple males making idiots of themselves by slobbering over a girl in class, who was within earshot. One of them turned to this troper and asked, "Do you think <name> is hot?" Having no desire to join the idiotic drooling nor to insult the girl, this troper responded with "It depends on the temperature of the room she's in." ** This troper is the same way, though I like to do it to be either deliberately difficult or just plain [[DeadpanSnarker snarky]]. ** A good friend of mine who has Asperger's does this. He's high functioning, though, and clearly knows that the metaphorical reasoning behind saying, but enjoys the humor in taking everything literally. He always says it with a smirk too. I've even switched to this brand of humor occasionally, but he's the master of it. And since I'm a DeadpanSnarker the two of us together is quite confusing to an outsider. * [[@/GwenStacyWannabe I]] am weird...I love metaphors and analogies, but when you give me instructions, you have to list ''every step'' of the process. Otherwise this kind of thing happens. --> PE teacher: Okay, run down the court and back with the basketball. ... No, I meant ''while dribbling it!'' ** This troper has all but turned "but I did what you said to do!'

into a CatchPhrase. * This Troper does this on purpose as a joke one of my friends and I came up with. When feeling particularly [[DeadpanSnarker snarky]], he will answer "What's up?" with "Up is a vertical direction in a threedimensional universe usually associated with the pull of gravity or the perspective of the speaker." When not feeling quite as snarky (or up to it) he will simply say [[CaptainObvious "Up is a direction."]] It got so bad I had to stop doing it 'cause those who heard it would tell people "Ask him what's up!" all the time. ** I tend to say, "The ceiling." *** This Troper usually says the sky, he will occasionally extend it with seagulls, clouds, hopefully the stock market etc. *** Are you me? *** Quite obviously that was posted by [[Tropers/KatanaCat me]]. Apparently I have lost my mind. Except I don't extend it to things IN the sky, or the stock market, and I am not male. I just say the sky, the ceiling, obviously my browser or I wouldn't be able to chat with you because Trillian isn't working right, or if I'm feeling really snarky I'll list everything currently running on my laptop (usually [[LongList a lot]], and it almost always includes Firefox, Jasc Paint Shop Pro 6, Notepad/Wordpad, Windows Explorer and Windows Media Player). *** Good heavens, this troper has clones. She always does this to her friends, usually with the sky, a direction, the ceiling, or a tree. * This troper is... a subversion or something? I'm not actually literal-minded at all (although sometimes I ''will'' follow instructions literally just to be funny), but a) BotheringByTheBook is my favourite method of subtly rebelling against unwelcome parental orders, b) my parents make it impossible to tell an earnest but peculiar announcement apart from a semi-plausible joke told completely deadpan. They are entirely unaware of B, and don't seem to be aware that there's a point to my sudden episodes of literalism unless I really hammer it in that I'm following their instructions to the letter for the sake of vicious satire. * [[@/{{bud0011}} This troper]]'s dad and himself don't always communicate on the same wavelength. After growing tired of getting yelled at for shrugging shoulders, saying "i don't know", to whatever the situation requires, he has found that being this trope often forces the farther to restate himself; [[MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail and ''there was much rejoicing. 'Yaaaaay']] '' * This troper's ex-wife is the living embodiment of this trope. I had to spell everything out directly for her---it was more like [[UncannyValley writing a computer program]] than talking to a real person sometimes. What I was doing married to [[WhatAnIdiot an idiot]], I'll never kn...oh, right, I [[MostCommonSuperPower do know]] what drew me to her... * [[Tropers/KitsuneInari This troper]] often plays dwarf [[PlayerCharacter characters]], and once made a pun about this trope. Yes, [[OurDwarvesAreAllTheSame we dwarves are quite literal]]; from ''lithos'', latin for "stone". ** Ehm... that's Greek. * This troper's father, at times. He once saw a bumper sticker that

said, "[[TheAndyGriffithShow Barney Fife]] protects my car", and spent the next ten minutes explaining how dumb that was because, waddya know, Barney Fife [[CaptainObvious isn't real]]. Also, one of this troper's former friends. Why former? This troper got tired of explaining jokes, metaphors, etc. * This Troper's grandmother is a retired English teacher that taught me and my brother English when we were younger. There were many occasions that my three year old self would ask her "Can I go to the bathroom?" and her response would be "I don't know; ''can'' you?". Better yet, she wouldn't let me go until I said "may" instead of "can". [[SarcasmMode I'm sure this sort of thing endeared her to her students]]. ** The proper answer to this is, of course, "If you don't let me go, you're about to find out!" * This troper was once a LiteralMinded person before he even met the Internet and learned how to ContemplateOurNavels instead. Maybe it's because of the limited education of RealLife... * [[Tropers/{{Clevomon}} This troper]] can indeed be this frequently, but she has a problem because she often jokes about being LiteralMinded in a deadpan, to the point where other people can not usually tell if she understands what they're saying or not. Heck, she's confused ''herself'' a few times about whether or not she understands what's being said. * My mom, 'nuff said. ** You seem remarkably certain that the visitors to this page know your mother well enough that you need not provide any examples. * This Troper will sometimes take things absolutely literally. Not because I don't get what the intended meaning is, but because I am bored, and when I am bored I tend to intentionally act stupid. * This troper takes things literally quite a bit and often doesn't get hints or metaphors- often I need people to explain things clearly otherwise I just won't get it. * This Troper is often considered stupid because of this. I remember many humiliating moments in which I made a complete fool of myself by understanding everything literally. Back in High School, people intentionally would make puns and metaphors around me just to see my reaction. Of course, I've learned most of them by now, but I still struggle with the real meaning behind people's instructions and explanations. The funny bit? I enjoy making metaphors myself. * At Cub Scout Day Camp, I remember the policy was to divide us into small "tribes" for the week, which were named after animals, and we had to make up a chant to start every meeting with. The leader of our group suggested a cheerleader-style chant, "like 'Bricka bracka firecracker sis boom bah! Bugs Bunny! Bugs Bunny! Rah rah rah!'". Obviously he meant for us to insert our own tribe name in place of "Bugs Bunny", but some of us decided to pretend to be literal-minded, which caught on enough that we actually ''did'' start every meeting by cheering for Bugs Bunny. Despite being in a tribe not even named after rabbits. * This troper does not suffer from Asperger's Syndrome. Instead, he has quite a bit of fun with it. * My sister had a test question in her music class that asked her

something on the lines of drawing three flats and then making sure they were in the right order. Cue her drawing three flat tires on the staff and labeling them 1, 2, and 3. * This troper sometimes tells jokes where the joke usually relies on the listener thinking I mean a different meaning (usually a rude one) than I really do (usually a literal one). However, he usually uses such subtle humour that he has to frequently explain his jokes for people to get them. To be fair, people rarely listen to me, which usually requires a re-telling of the joke for people to realise what the explanation was for, no matter what the joke was for. * Part of [[{{Tropers/Crion87}} this troper]]'s methodology [[{{ForGreatJustice}} to make the gap between]] [[{{OfThePeople}} the indigenous folks]] and [[{{ThoseWhoveComeAcrossTheSeas}} the culturally-dominant white Australians]] disappear is - paradoxically since he is a white Australian himself - to have such as modern [[{{LandOfDragons}} China]] [[{{DoomedHometown}} march in and take over]]. Sure, [[{{DayOfTheJackboot}} both sides would be equally worthless]], [[{{LiteralGenie}} but at least they'd be ''equal'']]. The threat of future [[{{TheTroubles}} trouble in Northern Ireland and the Irish Republic]]? Send in an occupation force of Japanese peacekeepers, all of whom chosen for being adherents to Buddhism or Shinto! * This troper has Asperger's Syndrome. The fun part is that it's quite mild, so I don't take everything literally, but can instantly see the literal meaning of things that people say, which is good if I want to make a fast joke. * [[@/{{endlessness}} This troper]] tends to do that for some good ol' deadpan snarking. He enjoys using metaphors and figurative language, tho'. * I find myself doing it with helping people spell things. --> Mother: How many L's in Lily? --> Me: Two. --> Mother: *Writes Lilly* --> Me: That's three. * When Snape threatened to "rap" Draco in ''MyImmortal'', this troper got a mental image of him literally {{rap}}ping. She immediately reached for a can of BrainBleach. * This Aspie-ish troper succumbs to this on occasion. Twice in three months someone asked her to bring them a plate, and she failed to register that they meant "bring them a plate with food." It got her labeled a smartass as a kid. There are some times, however, that she deliberately interprets things literally for humor. * [[{{Tropers/Aspie}} This troper]] has been guilty of this a few times, due to my Asperger's. I can't name any specific examples though. * [[@/{{Forecharmer}} This troper]] has Aspergers, and has found an Idom Dictionary that is very useful. I'm serious, this dictionary not only explains what common idoms mean, but it gives the orign of them too. I still can't understand sarcasm though... * There's also the DSM V thing where they say they're combining all the autism spectrum things into one diagnosis because it's like trying to "cleave meatloaf at the joints." Someone had to explain THAT one to

me. * This troper only invokes this when the figurative language is used for romantic purposes. "He said he'd do anything for me!" "Even beat a baby seal to death with his bare hands? Or genocide an entire race of people? [[MurderArsonAndJaywalking Or go to a Justin Bieber concert?]]" I only do it because that mushy stuff is very often poorly thought out. Unless you actually died and your heart was used as an organ transplant, no, you did not "give him/her your heart." * This troper puts literal mindedness to good use: she edits contributions at another wiki, and being literal minded helps in identifying clichs, mixed metaphors, UnfortunateImplications and so on. * This troper is a DeadpanSnarker. My mother is VERY literal-minded. I often have to spend time explaining jokes to her that everyone else gets immediately, because she mistakes the deadpan for seriousness or she doesn't understand puns at all. * I don't see it, but apparently me. Tell me to hold this rope? I'll hold it for hours. Don't tell me what the rope's for or what I'm supposed to do with it ''after'' grabbing the rope, and I'll just stand there holding a rope for hours. Pretty much if you want it done right, you need to be concise, or else I'll do it [[InsaneTrollLogic my way.]] * When I don't want to do a chore I get into conversations with my parents like this: --> '''Dad:''' Would you like to walk the dog? --> '''Me:''' Not really. --> '''Dad:''' Would you mind walking the dog? --> '''Me:''' No. --> '''Dad:''' Could you walk the dog? --> '''Me:''' [[OverusedRunningGag I could, yes.]] --> '''Dad:''' Go walk the dog. ---What's that? You want to return to the LiteralMinded page? OK, here we go... * flicks through book* ... What? Oh, you mean [[LiteralMinded this page]]. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LittleGirlsKickShins * This petite {{Tsundere}}'s preferred method of attack is this, in addition to stomping on other people's feet. * Yeah, not necessarily just little ones. This troper had a friend in high school who did this (also very Tsundere; this troper somehow managed to make it through the full four years without invoking her wrath once, but can't remember anyone else in our social group being so lucky.) * During my field day in kindergarten, [[Tropers/{{Animenutcase}} this troper]] had a grape-popsicle... thing during lunch. When lunchtime was over, I still hadn't finished it. A male friend of mine snatched it out of my hand and threw it away. [[DisproportionateRetribution I

attempted (but didn't succeed) to kick him in the leg]]. * This troper's little sister once did this to me... [[MoralEventHorizon WHILE WEARING FIGURE SKATES]]. I still have a scar. * This Troper's 14-year-old sister is fond of this attack. This Troper's shins are not. * [[Tropers/AdelePotter You better believe it.]] * This troper's tiny asian friend likes to kick people in the shins. Needless to say, after two years of Muay Thai, this troper's shins subvert the effectiveness of this attack. * This troper got this from an 11-year-old girl (2011) for reasons unknown. To top it off, she smacks me repeatedly, pushes my shoulder and steps on my feet. Funny thing is, she smiles and laughs while doing it. She still does this whenever we meet. This troper wonders why...

LittleKnownFacts * Maybe it's just an attempt to justify my behavior, but I see no problem in passing along utter nonsense to the younger generation in the form of fairy tales, myths, urban legends, and just plain cultural non-truths. Most Americans pass along Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy; with my 7-year-old nephew, I get more creative. He's just about figured out the reality of most of this stuff now, so I figure it's a good indication of when his brain is starting to discern truth from fiction -- and it helps remind him that you don't trust someone ''merely because'' they're an authority figure (or loved one). ** For the record, I've spent several years now explaining the truth about Saint Nicholas[[hottip:*:as a historical figure who helped children, one we honor with the myth of Santa Claus]], while teaching him in most serious terms about the rabbit in the moon[[hottip:*:makes rice candy!]], Africanized killer coat hangers[[hottip:*:bite your ankle with their sharp tooth; plastic ones are "domesticated"]], Wet Floor Sign Plants[[hottip:*:stand in that clear liquid too long and they'll melt your shoes!]], and goblins[[hottip:*:who do everything from leaving empty milk cartons in the fridge to sticking their tongue in your ear]]. Recently started building up the idea of The Borrowers[[hottip:*:so that's where all the missing sundries go!]]. Why be culturally bland, following the accepted myths of everyone else, when you can pick up an amusing hodge-podge from half a dozen cultures and really give him something to pass along to ''his'' kids? <<|TroperTales|>>

LittleMissBadass * When videogames allow customized bodies, this (male) troper always goes for LittleMissBadass, either with daggers or giant weapons. ** Ditto for [[{{Joerc45}} this troper]]. ** This one too. * When experimenting with some hacks for the original PC version of

[[PhantasyStar Phantasy Star Online]], [[@/PentiumMMX2 This troper]] did this for the fun of it; he made a [=FOnewearl=] and had her fighting with a broadsword that was almost as big as she was. * To keep on the videogame examples, This Troper does this as well: ** Made a [=HUnewearl=] in PSO that was just below half height, as [[{{Pettanko}} flat-chested]] as possible, and wielding things like the Dragon Slayer or Grass Assassin Blades. [[SilentHill There were no survivors.]] ** Fighting games or other such Vs. games? I always go with the young, female FragileSpeedster: [[SuperSmashBros Sheik]], [[SoulCalibur Talim]], [[GuiltyGear Jam]], [[BlazBlue Noel]], [[MarioKart Peach]], etc. Granted, not all of them are so little or badass, but you know... ** While playing the FinalFantasyXIV Open Beta, I made myself a Miqo'te with cotton-candy-hair, short, and a Lancer. While I focused on experimentation on my main male Elezen, she just got to grind. And end up doing more damage than I still have yet to mete. ** [[FinalFantasyX Rikku]] is mai waifu. * [[ShinMegamiTensei Alice]] is an absolute monster when properly leveled due to ''massive'' Magic overleveling in most games. ''[[SignatureMove Die]] [[OneHitKO For]] [[CastingAShadow Me!]]'''s just another weapon if you fuse her correctly. I pair her with BadassAdorable Black Frost and SoCoolItsAwesome Matador. * One of this troper's Pathfinder characters was this, namely his female Arcane duelist bard, Rosalie. Despite being a 3/4 BAB progression class that is usually the buffer of the group, she maintained an AC of 45, above even the tank fighter's, and could fight about as well as the fighters, wielding a rapier with the lifedrinking property, meaning she caused negative levels and gained temporary HP on a crit, which was often the case. She did all this in a frilly pink dress (with [[GameBreaker celestial chain]] sewn into it) and candy themed hair decorations tying back her pink twin, princess curl pigtails. Oh and she had the [[ArtifactOfDoom eye of Vecna]] and was a [[AristocratsAreEvil sociopathic cannibal]] with a candy fetish BEFORE it was installed in her skull. ---Wait, what?! You left the Mistress back at the [[LittleMissBadass main page]] with all those people? I'll get the mop, you get her a camisole that isn't red...

LittleMissSnarker * In middle school this male troper knew a rather obnoxious variety of this. She would call me a crybaby whenever she caught me crying in the slightest, no matter how much I tried to hide it... when catching me talking to myself she would be all like "oh look the crybaby guy is talking to his imaginary friends now." She even spread false rumours about me, and defended them by saying [[InsaneTrollLogic "well if they weren't true you wouldn't be getting all defensive now would you?"]] And so, I am not fond of the idea of associating snarkiness with intelligence, especially with how ridiculous the logic of some of her snarking was. (On a sidenote, she was [[FoeYay rumoured to have a crush on me]], though I never got to see her reactions to that rumour,

and if it were true then that is a horrible approach to take to hiding OR expressing it.) ** how old were you 12? not many people when your that young know how to express those newfangled feelings they're suddenly having. granted years later they most likely still won't be able to express those feelings reliably. *** About 12, at the time, yeah. In any case, not knowing how to express them is not an excuse. ** A real life {{Tsundere}}? *** I added it to that page's TroperTales section as well, but really it isn't as endearing when you encounter one in real life. * my neighbor across the street from where i used to live was like this when she wasn't just plain out mean to my brother, it was quite obvious she liked him though. * I've been told (in a rather harsh manner) that I was somewhat like this when I was younger...and by younger, I mean when I was around seven or eight years old. Granted, I'm probably more of a {{Deadpan Snarker}} now, but in reality, I'm not that bad. Really. * Both of my little sisters (ages 9 and 15) fit this to some degree. * Pick just about any little girl on this troper's bus. She's a LittleMissSnarker. * this troper could almost be mistaken for this. she looks young enough people often think she's still got a few years before she hits legal drinking age even tho she's in her early 30's (seriously, it's to the point she gets mistaken for being younger than her oldest niece) and can snark with the best of them. granted, while her experiences with public schooling and growing up with the neighborhood bully living in the house behind hers made her pretty withdrawn from people and develop an attitude of expect the worst because then you'll be pleasantly surprised instead of crushed at an early age the few people that did get on friendly terms with her knew that she could be a real LittleMissSnarker even when she really was little and when not around people she was friendly with/trusted she'd have snarky internal monologues going on in her head, so she really was one at one point. having a high IQ (to the point in elementary school she was correcting teachers about some science matters, did long division for fun three years before she was in the grade that covered that, and was reading at a college level by grade 3 and was using words some of her teachers didn't even know) and putting up with mass stupidity and illogical behavior from classmates can lead one to become a snarker even if they weren't on the receiving end of childhood bullying and a sickly kid. ** this troper has also been compared to House, as in "you're what House would be if he was small, female, and slightly more jovial with his snarking."

LivingInAFurnitureStore * One of This troper's friend's house is the posterchild of this trope. Everything is very clean and color coordinated but also warm and... friendly?...well worn?... Don't really know how to describe it but no matter if there's been three teenage dudes living there with no supervision for a week, a party consisting of at least 60 people all

being rowdy, or a great dane and two golden retrievers set loose everything stays clean. And they won't tell me how they do it. [[TheDresdenFiles Hmmm]] I'm thinking brownies. * @/DesertDragon: My maternal grandmother and aunts play this trope annoyingly straight with their houses. Pristine white carpets that you have to take your shoes off before walking on, [[strike:white]] champagne-colored furniture, brass tables and shelves with prissy glass figurines, etc. There's never a tv in the living room and you rarely eat in the dining room except Sundays and holidays. All eating and socializing are normally done in the kitchen and den. My mom ''tries'' to achieve the same effect but we don't have her family's money. Nonetheless, now that I'm on my own, one of my biggest rules is that '''THE LIVING ROOM IS FOR LIVING.''' Put your feet on the coffee table as you eat dinner while watching tv. Um, all my furniture is dark-colored for obvious reasons. * My mother ''adores'' this trope. The living room is a lovely combination of dark brown leather couches, champagne toned curtains, and wooden tables (I'm not really doing justice in this description, the wood is dark, the tables are topped with white marble, the couches have champagne decorative pillows...). God spare your soul if you live through the lecture that she'll give if you spill anything in her kitchen, and leave it there, ''even if it's just while you get the mop to clean it up''. My apartment is still fairly new (Just moved in!), but me and my roommate have enough stuff that the place looks ''lived in'', not some showroom. Clothes, shoes, paints, sketchbooks, and an infinite array of cables leading to out (for now) improvised computer area, and a clean but always busy kitchen. Best house I've lived in. * My aunt and uncle live in a very clean house, that I am almost afraid to touch anything in-things have changed a bit for them now they have three children aged 5, 2 and 6 months, but it is still impossibly clean compared to my house. * I grew up in a household where no one cared about "perfection" (not that we were dirty or messy per se, but there were always things lying around), and thus find this trope in RealLife severely unsettling. * My aunt and uncle are like this. For years they lived in a house with white carpet and pure white furniture, and all sorts of knicknacks you didn't dare breathe on. My cousin hated it; she said it was like living in a museum, and she used to love coming over to my house, where we actually ''lived''. * My mom's ideal house would probably be this, but as she's outnumbered 5 to 1 by people who aren't nearly as neat it's pretty much a lost cause. We've had more than a few arguments about mess because my ideal state is moderate clutter. --Take your shoes off before going back to LivingInAFurnitureStore.

LivingShadow * This troper wrote a story for her creative writing class involving a LivingShadow. It ended up murdering it's "host" at the end. * This troper has seen shadow people several times during childhood.

They appeared to be featureless humanoid figures whose limbs ended in points rather than hands or feet, briefly seen running along a wall. In later years, I learned about hypnagogia ("waking sleep"), a physiological state responsible for such things (as well as the famous feeling of waking up with a great weight on your chest). Then just recently, at age thirty-one, I saw one ''again'', while out walking at night with my father. It momentarily appeared in front of a house's garage, hunched over and running parallel to our path on the sidewalk. It was in open space, it was moving, and after a second there was nothing there. * I once saw shadow people. To be fair, I had a very high fever. I tried talking to them and my mom walked in and told me I was sick and had to rest. * Arnego Moloch, from New Dawn Hollow Dusk's planned Second Arc, can animate shadows and even make them revolt against their "owner", turning the shadows of a whole army division into a field of spears which he uses to kill the whole division, and then he uses Part II of his powers: The Dead Rise. Good thing he's got horrible luck, is usually incompetent, and a DirtyCoward or ''[[NighInvulnerable fighting him would be virtually impossible.]]''

LizLemonJob [[redirect:TroperTales/OnlySaneEmployee]]

LoadBearingBoss * This Troper was playing a session of ''{{Exalted}}'' last night. Our team of Solars had a long-ass battle with a pair of hundred-plusexperience Infernals in an ancient, buried, and desecrated temple to the Unconquered Sun. When we finally finish off the second one, the cavern through which we entered, which had been inhabited by a thousand or so blood apes who were mining, collapsed in on itself. Given, the chapel itself didn't collapse (though it rained ink, for some reason), but we had to blast our way out through the ceiling in order to get out of there later. * Parodied in an RPG parody I'm writing, where the first boss is called Central Column, and naturally, defeating it causes this trope. * Justified in this troper's run through of ''The Sunless Citadel.'' The DM altered the adventure slightly, so that as players, we felt obliged to destroy the Gulthias Tree, to prevent its spread of corruption, yet the tree itself was all that was holding up the remaining structure of the ruined citadel. It was literally load bearing, yet not technically a boss.

LocalHangout * [[DaNuke Da_Nuke]] so far has had four Local Hangouts: a back then small bar not far away from school, a restaurant at the Seafood Market, a friend's house, and the electronics lab. Why the electronics lab? Because a lot of his school friends are from electronics. * [[{{Divra}}This Troper]] is so much a regular at the Student Union

bar that he has taken to calling it his living room. Complete with personal chair and being on first-name basis with all the staff. * For much of high school, this was a place called Vinnie's Pizza, which this troper and friends hit every afternoon right after school. The "recurring character" there was a regular employee, not the owner, but we were collectively aware enough of that aspect of the trope that we just started calling him Vinny anyway, since he was behind the counter every time. * This college-age troper and his friends had "the table." It was simply a table in their college's food court where there could ''always'' be found hanging out when they weren't in class. The table was initially frequented by only about 5 or 6 people, who gradually brought more and more friends until eventually they had to push two tables together to acommodate everyone. It was, for its time, the largest table in the food court--which its members took immense pride in. * HoCo, MD has been hit with Tutti Frutti. Especially after gaining popularity from a charity night, almost everyone visits it several times a week. * During high school, my circle of friends had three separate hangouts. Two were corners (one in the cafeteria, another outside the gym so we could laugh at jocks), and the other was the comic store downtown where we'd get out D&D supplies. * This Troper lives in a university, just a block away from the downtown area, that is very friendly to small businesses like coffee shops and burger joints. ''Everyone'' here has a Local Hangout that they speak of almost patriotically - Yum Yum's, Old Town Draught House, Tate Street Coffee, etc. Mine is Coffeeology, a very small place that serves breakfast all day, as well as gelato, made in-house. Yum. * This troper and her friends are usually to be found at one of three places. Giovanni's, a small family pizza place a block from their school with Zeppoli to die for, the school's (unused) back stairwell, where we can have lunch and be geeks and be happy, and the mall's Barnes & Nobles, because, gosh, books. If you're looking for this trope, try looking at the Main/LocalHangout, that's where it spends most of its time. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LockedInAFreezer * In college my wife took a cooking class that met at night - in other words, when the building was otherwise empty. She went down to the walk-in freezer for an ingredient - where no one in the class could possibly have heard her - and wound up having the door shut on her. Meticulously working the inside handle according to the instructions posted for just such an emergency was to no avail. She was let out soon by a classmate who just happened to come down for an ingredient herself; see, everyone thought she had simply left early, oblivious to

the fact that she was actually locked in a freezer. She never had time to make it to the "scared out of her wits" stage, having only gotten to the "blind with rage" (at the situation) stage. * This troper was locked in a freezer in the fourth grade. Fortunately, the lunch ladies heard me shouting, and let me out. * It's mildly creepy there's a Troper Tales page for ''that''. ** More creepy: There are more than just one or two examples. * Averted, in my case. Me and friends were exploring a creepy-ass abandoned restaurant that we figured out was haunted by the ghost of a man who had gone blind and would try to steal the eyes of those who trespassed(don't ask.) We were exploring the kitchen, which was by far the creepiest part. We noticed there was a walk in freezer, and we all simply stared, until I stated that we were just going to NOT OPEN THAT DOOR UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. And we didn't. * {{Eban}} used to work sanitation for a large turkey processing plant. Specifically I had to clean the giant freezer. Average temperature was 15 degrees (fahrenheit). Even being wet it wasn't particularly cold. You acclimate to it rather fast and seeing as I wore no more than jeans and a t-shirt in there I was incentivized to get used to it quick. There's no real threat until it gets below zero of freezing to death. The smaller the space the easier it is for a person's own body heat to keep it warm enough to be livable. This was a cavernous space, but it had little airflow. * My ''cat'' got locked in a freezer once. Well, alright, it was actually a fridge, and nothing happened to him. He is now terrified of fridges. Serves him right, though -- he used to like climbing into the fridge and burrowing between the carrots, so it was bound to happen. * This troper used to work at his school's food court, and once got stuck in the beverage cooler, although the only thing holding him in was his own stupidity: he kept fiddling with the door handle, trying to figure out how to open the door, only realizing after a few minutes that all he had to do was push on the door itself to open it. *facepalm* * This troper got locked in a freezer one time when he was a training butcher at his previous job. While going into the freezer at his job to get something for the frozen department there was someone from Bakery in there as well. I was in there for a bit, then I heard the door close behind be. For someone reason the door would not open which didn't help. I tried kicking the door open a few times, before the Bakery dude opened the door to which he said to me "I didn't know you were in there." Now how hard is it to see someone in a long white coat and red apron. Something similar happened to this troper's dad once when he worked at the local Red Lobster when it first opened. He got stuck in the freezer for 30 minutes, using a can of something (I don't remember what it was) to bang on the door to let him out. The other workers there though that the noise they heard was the construction that was going on in the building. * This editor knew a guy who somehow locked -himself- in a freezer for a whole night. At first he banged against the door for a long time to no avail, but after that, he just made himself a sandwich, fell asleep using a bunch of hot dog buns as a mattress, and was rescued in the morning.

* This troper was personally locked in a freezer for about a minute, in a busy kitchen, fortunately (or not, as we will soon see). The handle featured an obvious emergency release for just such a situation. The outside lock clattered to the floor, but the door still wouldn't budge. After a few seconds of banging on it, someone pulled... Oh, I was supposed to be ''pushing'' it this whole time?! * This troper had a colleague who got stuck in a freezer at work, in a hotel, his on-site phone (which has limited reach on certain parts of the premises) couldn't access the network, so the poor guy had to resort to calling yet another colleague (Third party) in order to call the hotel (the chap who had locked himself in DIDN'T EVEN HAVE THE PHONE NUMBER OF THE PLACE THAT EMPLOYED HIM) in order to get the Manager on duty to come down to the basement and let him out. Truth be told the big red escape button was slightly knackered, but still. A tub of ice cream got him stuck for 40 minutes, thinking he was going to die. ''Priceless.'' * When this troper first started working at a pizza place with a walkin freezer, he was worried about being subjected to this trope. However, as it turned out, the door doesn't even have a latch, let alone a lock, leading this troper to be extremely skeptical of all contemporary fictional instances of this trope. * A colleague of mine told about her former job and the freezer they had: it was cooled with nitrogen and would reach temperatures below 200 degrees celcius. It wasn't pretty when someday someone got stuck in there and the thing turned on... * This editor's mother is a chef. Her locked-in-a-freezer experience was rewarded only with a chunk being taken out of her finger. Why? She had to wrench open the door herself, as she was alone and no one could hear her scream. * this troper was locked in her summer camp's huge freezer after yelling on of the cooks she was claustrophobic. it was apparently a joke. * During her time working at a steakhouse, this troper's sister had the freezer lock on her while she was still inside. Noticing a pullswitch by the door, she tried it several times, to no effect. Turned out it was an alarm for contacting emergency services if the place was ever attacked and the staff got locked into/had to take cover in the freezer. Thankfully, her boss took the whole thing in stride, and even paid the fine for a false alarm instead of taking it out of her paycheck. Now, it ''did'' become a major in-joke with her boss and coworkers teasing her about it, but considering how ''else'' it could have gone... * This troper once worked for an inventory-taking company. While inventorying the freezer of a grocery store, well, guess what happened. Thank goodness for cell phones and practiced nonchalance. The following resulted: --> Me: Hmm. Door won't fricking open. Well. I got the cell number for one of the other guys on this job, so *beepbeep* --> Buddy: Yo, what's up? --> Me: Need some help in the cold locker. --> Buddy: Too much for you to count, huh, On my way, slow-ass. --> Buddy comes to the cold locker, frees the stuck hasp (without, for

the moment, realizing that he HAD to do something special to open the door), and opens the door. --> Buddy: Ok so what help did you need? --> Me: Needed you to open the door. I'm done. Thanks. ---Don't just stay here until you're frozen; go back to LockedInAFreezer. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LockedInARoom * I had three friends who all got stuck in an elevator... we'll call them Albert, Bob and Chuck. Chuck happened to be my boyfriend at the time, and made his own comedy show for student television - the kind that had about 3 viewers on a good week. They were stuck between floors and had to have security get them out. The elevator was really hot and it took a while for them to be freed. Chuck told me that, though Albert remained very cool, Bob found the whole experience really upsetting. Chuck, being the [[SarcasmMode awesome friend]] that he was, decided to recreate the scene for his student TV show, with Albert playing himself, and Chuck in an anorak playing Bob with an exaggerated folksy accent, in what he presumably thought was cuttingedge observational comedy. Later on, Bob told me that despite Chuck's mocking, he had panicked just as much as Bob himself had. ** And Chuck eventually confessed to me (though not to Albert or Bob) that the elevator didn't exactly fail. In fact, Chuck, sure of the [[HilarityEnsues hilarity that would obviously ensue]], had secretly pressed the Emergency Stop button. ** It wasn't actually thanks to that incident that I split up with Chuck, though it's certainly one of the things that make me glad I did. * [[Tropers/{{Nayrani}} I]] got locked a few times before ([[NightmareFuel by myself]]). First when I was about 7 years old, I accidentally got locked into a gym by a teacher. I pretty much broke down in tears when I realized I couldn't get out until they actually noticed I wasn't in class. Second time was just today... after school I decided to sneak through the back door ([[ItSeemedLikeAGoodIdeaAtTheTime for some reason]]). Of course, the exit was closed. Big deal, I'll just go back through the normal doors... oh wait, the stair door I just came through only open on the other side. I'm not claustrophobic, but closed doors made me difficult to breathe. So I did the next sensible thing I could... [[BathroomBreakOut climb out a window in the men's restroom]]. --------------------Back to [[LockedInARoom Locked In A Room]] on main... Wait... I can't get out!!

LondonEnglandSyndrome

* After having lived in London, Ontario for the last two decades this troper has to deal with this regularly. When I am referring to the 'other London' I have to use the London, England form and when I am talking about my hometown on an international Internet discussion board I will even state London, Ontario, Canada just to make sure there is no confusion. ** This troper thought he was averting the TropeNamer when speaking to a Canadian Customs officer in Toronto and was asked where he was arriving from. I had flown from Heathrow to Toronto via Chicago, so my response was "London, via Chicago." The customs officer gave me an are-you-going-to-make-me-beat-it-out-of-you look and impatiently demanded, "London,....?" [[SarcasmMode Right]], because I made the flight equivalent of a two-hour drive by ''changing planes outside the country''. You couldn't even book that if you tried! * This troper finds his hometown of Grand Forks, British Columbia (Canada) is often confused with the similarly sized town of Grand Forks, North Dakota. ** I would have thought it would be [[Literature/{{Twilight}} this]] one. * This troper is from Illinois. We have a Peru. And an Oregon. And a Cairo. And she still has to ask "South America or north of here?", or "State or city?" The pronunciation difference with Cairo (Egypt is "KY-ro," Illinois is "KAY-ro"; no, I don't know why) usually averts this, unless it's in print. ** Wait, do you live in southern Illinois? ** This troper from Missouri feel that the pronunciation of Cairo as "KAY-ro" grates on her ears, as does people saying "Ver-SALES," Indiana. It's "KY-ro" and "Ver-SIGH." * facepalm* * This troper's friend, on saying he was from the city of Liverpool whilst in Florida, was apparently asked "Oh, Liverpool! Do you know any of TheBeatles?" ** Which [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liverpool_%28disambiguation%29 Liverpool]]'s that, then? * Peru Indiana, Ireland Indiana, Brazil Indiana, Kokomo Indiana. Then of course there's London Ohio, London Kentucky. Also bizarrely Delaware Ohio. * This troper is a Spaniard, and there are lots of Latin American cities named after Spanish ones. Also, she's got plenty of Latin friends, and she always has to pause and think, "Wait, no, they mean Guadalajara, Mxico, not the one in Spain..." * This Troper lives in the State of New York, she has to keep telling people that she lives in the state, not the city. ** The above is the bane of This Troper's existence. [[{{Irony}} It's actually simpler to say she's from Erie, Pennsylvania.]] * By way of an inversion, in the UK there's New York, Lincolnshire and California, Norfolk. One can only imagine [[HilarityEnsues what happens]] when a resident of either of these tiny villages tries to explain where they're from. ** There are also a couple of New Yorks in the North. One's a village a few miles outside Newcastle-upon-Tyne; the other is on the River Nidd in North Yorkshire. Not helping matters is the fact that the former isn't far from the original (apparently) Washington: it's

entirely possible to drive between Washington and New York up the north-east coast. * This Troper, when living in Missouri, told a somewhat ditzy coworker that his parents lived in New Jersey. Her response? "New Jersey, Missouri"? To this day, he doesn't know if there actually ''is'' a New Jersey, MO. * Moscow. That is all. ** Idaho or Russia? *** Or Vermont? *** or Pennsylvania * Birmingham, Alabama has the extra bonus of having an uncannily similar history to Birmingham, England (Well, except for [[TheSixties the civil rights movement and church bombings.]]) ** Some people ask me if Birmingham, Eng. (my homecity), is named after Birmingham, Alabama. Sigh. * [[{{Bluemage}} This troper's]] home town of Vancouver, WA ''will'' cause confusion with people from the East Coast. If he says he's from Vancouver, people assume Vancouver, British Columbia. Say he's from Washington, and people assume DC. If he says he's from Portland (Oregon, just across the Columbia River), people will think of Portland, Maine. * In Missouri, there's a Cuba, a Kabul, a Mexico, and possibly several other confusing location names. * Florida and California, Bergen, Norway, anyone? * Getting directions to Newark Airport in New Jersey, this troper was told it was 15 minutes travel time from Pennsylvania Station. Pennsylvania Station (known as Penn Station) is a major transfer point in Manhattan, NYC for rail and subway trains, and is widely known to everyone who ever travels in NYC. It seems that Newark, New Jersey also has a Pennsylvania Station, which no one outside of the nearby area has ever heard of, which is the one 15 minutes from the airport. ** Don't worry, even locals get confused between Newark Penn and New York Penn sometimes. [[SarcasmMode Good planning there.]] * While watching Tim Burton's version of ''CharlieAndTheChocolateFactory'', this troper couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at Violet Beauregarde's nationality: Germany and England are pretty well-known countries, but [[HollywoodAtlas who ever heard of Georgia?]] As it turned out, there's also a state in the US named Georgia. * This troper encountered this while driving cross-country in the USA. He found it particularly hilarious when he drove by Carthage, Athens, Lebanon, and many other Eastern Europeon and Middle Eastern places. It was topped off by seeing a town named Sparta. One can only imagine the sort of reaction Sparta USA had to the whole 300 THIS. IS. SPARTA. meme. * When I was at school, another boy (who was from Greenwich, of Observatory fame) got all excited about a magazine article about a detective, until it was pointed out to him that the article said that the guy was from Greenwich ''Village'' -- the one in New York, NY. To further confuse Londoners, New York also has a Chelsea, a Soho and a Battery, complete with Battery Park -- the latter being similar in sound to Battersea, whose main claim to fame (other than the Dogs'

Home, and Clapham Junction for those who realise that the latter is actually in Battersea, not Clapham) is Battersea Park, where part of the Festival of Britain was held (the only part to survive for several years afterward). * I have friends who live in Bury, which is just north of Manchester, UK. To my university companions they all think I mean Bury St Edmonds, near Cambridge. The two are over 150 miles apart (a long distance for the UK). * Australia can provide more than a few. In Queensland there's a Texas ([[EverythingIsBigInTexas though its not that big a town]]) and a suburb on the Gold Coast called Miami. There's also a Warwick and Ipswich compared to Warwick and Ipswich in England. ** There's also a purely Australian example. There's a suburb called Windsor in the state capitals of Queensland, New South Wales and Victoria. * Hamilton. * Ah, good old Eatern Pennsylvania: Lancaster, Reading, Lebanon, to name a few. I once thought it a decent idea to move to Intercourse, PA and try to make a killing in t-shirts and hats. * America is just north of oxford. * When I was a little girl watching reruns of the Fresh Prince of BelAir I thought for a surprisingly long time that it had something to do with the local town of Bel Air, Maryland. Bel Air, MD can also be confusing for non-locals who often mix up directions between Bel Air the town, Bel Air Road, Belair Road, and Blair Road (which is, of course, near the location of the Blair Witch Project). I still confuse Chapel Hill, NC and Chapel Hill, MD. * This troper has something of an inversion. As an American from New Jersey who currently lives in the TropeNamer city of London, England, I was more than slightly surprised to find that there was a Newark in England. Also, Jersey causes a lot of confusion. Most people (in the northeast of America, anyway) always refer to New Jersey as Jersey. So this troper got massively confused that her school was having a field trip to Jersey...until she realized they meant the ''Bailiwick'' of Jersey, which was a hell of a lot closer. ** This Troper lives near the Newark in England. It's full name is Newark-on-Trent, but no-one calls it that. There are a large number of places called Newark around the world (mostly in the US and Australia), and the England one hosted a "Newarks of the world festival" in 1995. * I live in Norway. Once I got a letter from USA that had made a little detour and picked up some extra stamps and a written clarification: "That's Norway, EUROPE!". * When this Troper's family went to America one Christmas we were staying in the city of Betehlehem in Pennsylvania (there is also a Nazareth nearby). ** Also, one purpose of this was to visit some freinds my dad had made online, apparently when he told them he was from Manchester (England) he was asked which one (I don't think he was aware that there were other Manchesters in America before that). * Ohio's got plenty - London, Geneva, Medina (That's Meh-die-nah), Lancaster, Rome, Windsor, Lima, Kent, and Troy just to name a few.

Although most of those aren't exactly booming centers of population. * [[Tropers/ThirtyTwoFootsteps This troper]] grew up in Berlin... New Jersey. Which is good for that kind of thing, as he also spent time in Gloucester. Things didn't get any better after leaving the state, as he ended up living just outside of Hollywood... Florida. Moving to Boston hasn't improved anything, with the large number of towns named after towns in England around. * Odd version: I have to say City, Country when talking about Mongolia, or else people will assume it's somewhere in the States they haven't heard of. This has bed over to the rest of my life, resulting in sentences that leave out the state, creating this trope in people who ask where I'm referring to. Mongolia, by the way, has a Hollywood. It's named that for the hell of it and is neither big nor interesting in any way. Due to the transliteration system, though, it's Huulwood which makes you sound like a redneck and evokes this trope when you get, 'Huulwood, USA?' * [[Tropers/{{Burstkiller}} This Troper]] lives in Missouri City, Texas not to be confused with Missouri City in Missouri. Ours is ''much'' bigger. Nearby is a Fresno and a Richmond. All next to the Houston and not the street in Manhattan, the one in the UK or British Columbia. * [[SarcasmMode I take offense to you saying that Frankfurt an der Oder isn't important!]] (My mom was born there.) --------------------Back to [[LondonEnglandSyndrome London England Syndrome]]. On Main/, that is. ** It's in Maine? ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LonelyRichKid * This happens not just with the stereotypically ultra-rich, lives-ina-mansion types, but also with the upper middle class. This troper and an alarmingly large amount of kids in her (very expensive private) school are this. I am more the "upper middle class" type who's never even seen a mansion before, and yet both of my parents work late. For a long while, my mother rarely came home at all because she had to work in Germany, and my father was just unusually obsessed with working in the office until past midnight. I was raised by my grandparents until I was old enough to stay in the house on my own when they were out. ** Other kids in my school have varying levels of this. It's rare to have a parent who is home before 7pm. Many kids live here on their own because their parents' work requires them to be in another country (although sometimes they stay with an older sibling or even a hired nanny). Some just plain don't see their parents much at all due to their work schedules. It's rather disheartening to see your classmates' faces light up with ecstasy at the mere prospect of having lunch with their parents, or hearing nearly half your grade admit that they don't really know what their parents are like because they don't see them often.

* This troper's childhood and early adolescence was unfortunately defined by this trope. My parents' jobs often required them to be either out of the state/country or just at the office late most of the time. I had a nanny for a few years, but became a solo latchkey kid around 9, and because I didn't have anyone to take me to friends' homes, I spent most of my time at home, reading anything I could get my hands on. ItGotWorse: When I was 11, my parents divorced and got joint custody of me, and I was thrust into the "messenger kid" role between the two of them. One year my mom forgot my birthday (my 12th). Another time, my dad forgot to pick me up at camp. Oh, and when I was 15, my father and stepmother decided to go to Greece for Christmas, and figured I could just stay with my mother while they were gone. They didn't tell me this. My mother was in Brussels for a conference and wouldn't be home for another week. I spent that Christmas in a bizarro ''HomeAlone'' situation (minus the burglars). It wasn't an ideal upbringing by any means, and I was definitely a very lonely and maladjusted kid, but I've gotten some great material out of it over the years (the Home Alone story always kills at Christmas parties). * One of my [[WithFriendsLikeThese friends]] in the Romanian equivalent of junior high had this as his BerserkButton: [[EvillyAffable he]] was the son of a successful lawyer and by no means phlegmatic, but if you commented on his SpoiledBrat status he became almost apoplectic at once. He was also a JerkWithAHeartOfJerk, but a quite mild case thereof, and an avid reader with a better-thanaverage intellect; when in a good mood he was an engaging partner in conversation. A lot of people gave him more flak than he deserved because of his social status, though teachers tended to kiss his ass. Since then I've lost contact with him and found a [[TookALevelInJerkass new level]] of [[YouFailChemistryForEver caustic]] [[GreenEyedMonster bitterness]] toward the [[AristocratsAreEvil upper classes]]; we probably wouldn't get along anymore - Rottenvenetic

LongDistanceRelationship * [[@/HersheleOstropoler This troper]]'s girlfriend moved from the next state to across the country (and then here, but it was a long 10 months). * A country? Don't make [[@/SkarmoryThePG me]] laugh. Try an ocean and six time zones. ** [[UpToEleven Eleven]]. (This relationship ended a few years ago.) At the time I calculated that the distance as the crow flies between us was pretty close to 9/10 the maximum distance between any two places on the planet. ** "Only" time timezones, but either way it's two continents and an ocean, or one continent and two oceans. [[{{Tropers/Erkhyan}} Me:]] Madagascar. Him: California. Time together: 3 years and 2 months as of August 2010. Anywhere farther from me and he'd be living in the Pacific Ocean. It definitely doesn't help that neither of our countries are really friendly to gay immigrants... * Wow, you guys had it easy. Do you have any idea how hard it is to maintain a relationship with someone on the asteroid belt? I thought

not. ** ....and you ''do''? * I left my heart in parallel-universe San Francisco. Beat that. * This troper's best friend has never lived less than two and a half hours away. Thank god for the internet. * This troper has been dating the most wonderful boy on the planet for two years. He lives five hundred miles away, and I've never met him in person. I'm 16, he's 15. It ''will'' work, god dammit. ** He '''says''' he's 15. So 45 at least and so ugly even his mother couldn't love him. :P ** This actually brings up the problem of all long-distance relationships. Is it really 'dating', per se, if you've never been anywhere together? * My fiancee isn't that far away, only 200 miles, but we're both too broke to travel often so I only see her once every 3 or 4 months. * This troper lives in Venezuela. His boyfriend lives in the USA. They both have been dating for almost two years now, and despite not having personally met, they have a rather stable relationship (though that is helped by the internet, some webcams and Skype) and so far it has been working for them. * This troper has an internet friend who she's never met in real life who's in a relationship with a girl he's never met in real life. Conversations between us look really confusing if you don't already know what we're talking about. * This troper was in a relationship entirely over the internet with a girl in Minnesota, he himself dwelling in the UK. I'm fifteen, she's fourteen and I had successfully reached the point where I decided that I was going to drag the relationship out as it was for three years until I was finished with college, at which point I would GTFO the country and move to the US to study at uni. Entirely for the purpose of being with her. I was convinced that we could make it work, but... she wasn't. She ditched me the moment she got asked out in real life. Fun. * This Troper lives in PA and has a boyfriend in North Carolina * This Troper's ex lived in Maryland, while she lived in Sydney, Australia. Despite all our attempts to make it work, the relationship was [[StarcrossedLovers doomed to fail.]] * This troper moves so often that he doesn't even try to have relationships, fearing this trope will make them fail * This (Californian) troper's girlfriend lives in Long Island and we've been together for four years and counting. Surprisingly, everyone who we've explained our relationship to has been understanding and supportive (to the point of our relationship having it's own [[ShipperOnDeck fan club]]). * This Troper is Australian, and his girlfriend lives in the US. It'll probably be another year or two before we can meet in person, but we're both hellbent on making it work. * Me: America. Girlfriend: England. Time together: 4 years. We're happy togeter, and we've been back and forth between the countries. We're living proof, along with nearly everyone on this page, we can all make it work * This troper's _person who hates using the word girlfriend_ have not

met once IRL. We live on opposite sides of the country. ** Compounding the confusion is that we're both into gender-bender: While this troper would be fine spending time with her regardless of our respective genders, she would much rather have herself as a cute bishie-esque guy with me as a nerdish meganekko. :P Oh, and she has trouble with the idea of giving anyone she knows 'preference' in terms of time-spent/emotional connections and whatnot . . . She hates the idea of exclusivity, would prefer it if we were both genderswapped, lives across the country (and can't really leave because of her ill parents who she helps care for,) . . . Something is obviously wrong with me, but I'm far too enamored to admit it. * This Brazilian troper met two girls with boyfriends in different states: one was 538km (334.3 miles). Another is 1712 km (1.063 miles)! (just for clearing: both live, like me, in Minas Gerais. The former had a relationship in Esprito Santo, the latter in Rio Grande do Sul. [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Brazil_states1990.png Handy map]]) * [[{{Tahaneira}} This Troper]] hooked up with his girlfriend about three days before leaving college due to horrible grades, after knowing each other for five months and about two weeks of romantic development. Due to my restarting college and her continuing classes, the fact that we live on opposite sides of Washington state, and her insane mother, we get to see each other, on average, four days every two months. We passed the one-year mark a couple of months back and are still going strong. * Due to being one of the administrators at a game-related Internet forum that has run for several years, and to being from [[LandDownUnder Australia]], which has a tiny amount of influence on the 'Net, this troper has had no less than seven Long Distance Relationships. Despite great determination to wait it out and meet each time, the other half broke it off from the stress, often long before actually meeting. Every single time. After this many failures, the troper has given up on these to instead seek "real life" relationships. Unfortunately, however, due to being a writer, he's got more charisma in writing than in person. * [[AcrossTheStars This troper]] is deliberately invoking this trope. Having done the long distance thing - and had it [[LoveHurts implode spectacularly]] - she decided, "never again" - at least not unless we've got some time together already. So when she met a really wonderful guy on the internet and he asked to meet only a few weeks before she was to spend the summer in Montana - 1500+ miles away - she said, "Yes, but not now." We've been exchanging emails and chatting on AIM. It's working great so far. * This troper's girlfriend lives in the states and she in Canada, and the two have never met IRL. We fight a GENEROUS amount, mostly about her not keeping in touch enough and me looking at other girls too much, but both of those things are pretty much the fault of the trope (having just come out to, well, myself, girls are an aspect of life I can't very well ignore). At the core though she's my favourite part of life and I'm holding out for a visit this summer--although we already have conversations about [[SickeninglySweethearts all the cute things we'd do with each other if she ever came up,]] and those are honestly enough to last me. Besides, her mom doesn't know, so even if we could

be together we'd have to put a plug in the PDA. * My friend was in one recently, but he turned out to be a weirdo in real life * ...less extreme example coming through. [[{{Expthka}} This troper]]'s boyfriend is three hours away, though with gas prices, schedule conflicts and whathaveyou, it can sometimes feel like he's in another province. * An example likely to backfire on myself,I have an open relationship ([[CakeEater with a significantly older man]]) across the nation.I plan on moving to his locale eventually [[WillTheyOrWontThey ...if he's not taken first]] * This Troper lives in [[CanadaEh Manitoba]]. Her boyfriend lives in Virginia. They have not met in real life yet, though that is upcoming, and most people seem to believe that they are just meeting for sex. Err. No. * This troper is in a relationship that is entirely over the internet. Me: Melbourne, Australia. Him: Florida, USA. I love him with all my heart but YE GODS do I wish I was rich. (For plane tickets and such.) * I met a gal in college when I was a sophomore. We lived on either side of the US at that time, but stuck with the relationship through summer and winter breaks, her study abroad program in England, and her teaching in Austria for most of a year. Our 8-year wedding anniversary is next month. :) * Boifriend lives in South Dakota, Troper lives in NY. We get to see each other every summer, but really, for a troper with abandonment issues... Once a week isn't within throwing distance of enough. ** This troper, also from South Dakota (who knows the above troper's boifriend in real life, unless something is seriously creepycoincidental), has his boyfriend in New Mexico. He has (only so slightly) jokingly suggested that he merge South Dakota, New York, New Mexico, and the states a few of his best friends/said friends' significant others into one state, and air-lift everyone in. * In a married example of this trope, this troper's grandfather spent several years stationed with the American Air Force in The Philippines, while my grandmother stayed in Tennessee raising my mother. They were HappilyMarried until she was afflicted with latestage dementia about two years ago, and even now, he [[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming refuses to put her in a nursing home]]. * Hoo boy! This troper and her husband are in a Long Distance Relationship due to the stupid economy. Both of us ended up getting job offers in the same week on opposite ends of the country. It was either this or one of us would never work again, but it still stinks. * I live in America, and my boyfriend's in Japan. People think it's weird but I don't care, I love the hell out of him. * Raekuul from Cincinnati is currently in a LDR with a beautiful woman from Rosario, Argentina. * I'm a girl from Portugal, she's from North Carolina, USA. And she's literally perfect for me. I'll wait as long as she still likes me, even if it takes forever. * [[Tropers/FredFoobar This troper]] met his girlfriend on a summer internship in San Diego - two weeks before he had to go back to college in Michigan. We're still keeping things going, though, thanks

to webcams, Google Talk, and cell phones. Three time zones' difference makes things tricky, but not impossible, considering I stay up and get up late anyway. Fortunately, I'll get to see her again for sure this summer... Can't wait! * [[{{Tropers/TroyMartin}} This troper]] lives in Vancouver, Canada. My girlfriend lives in Massachusetts. If it weren't for these damn age limitations on border crossings and driving (not to mention the money and school factors) I would be there without a doubt. Thank you, Internet, for helping me find this wonderful girl. * My ex-boyfriend and I lived four timezones away from each other. To make it worse, there was a certain three-year age difference which ensured it would be years before we got to meet each other in real life. It was complicated. But neither of these were the reason we broke up, well over a year after we started dating. * This troper's best friend is engaged following one of these. This troper introduced the two to each other via the glorious internet, and then they met up, it was all so wonderful. * This troper will have no-one but him, yet we live on opposite ends of the US. However, he intends to save up money for plane tickets so [[MyBelovedSmother my mom]] and I can come over and I can attend his prom(while mom hopefully gets acquainted with his parents so she might be willing to let me go alone next time). * Had a previous relationship was a time zone and four states distant...about 3 years and two meets later, we had a few compatibility issues, and well, there's a reason it's a previous relationship. Still...they were good times. * This troper's life was saved by a man met in a chatroom for [[BittersweetCandyBowl a webcomic about drama cats]]. We were planning on living together before that, but it brought about a realization of how deep the love between us goes. * [[{{Tropers/Ventisia}} Ths Troper's friend]] met her boyfriend online on Wizard101 (which is actually a pretty good game) of all places. They started out as friends, but eventually started dating. They've been together for at least a year now, and they're very close considering they've never met in real life (we live in Indiana, but he's in Pennsylvania). They talk on the phone every night, text a lot, video chat, get on Wizard together... * This troper fell in love with a woman I met in a roleplayers' chatroom. We I.M.ed and texted daily and spoke on the phone at least once a week for the better part of a year and made plans to meet during her Winter Break. Sadly, it never happened as she was diagnosed with bone cancer and was forced to move back in with her parents while she was going through chemotherapy. She tried to get me to leave her then but I refused to abandon her in her time of need. The next few years, I tried to weather the communication difficulties caused by her parents only having dial-up Internet (in 2007!), their only having one phone line, Dad having a job that required he be on-call 24-7 (which meant no "talking cute" for hours at a time) and them living in the one place in America my cell-phone provider didn't have coverage denying me the power to get her a phone on my plan. I couldn't go visit her because at the time I was working a minimum wage job with no benefits and no vacation time. Eventually, after nearly five years

together, I did break up with her as I realized the bright, vibrant woman with big plans for the future I'd fallen for had died and been replaced by an apathetic couch potato who couldn't be arsed to send me an IM letting me know she was still alive more than once a month. ** [[TearJerker Oh God.]] * For two people living in adjacent provinces, this shouldn't be the case. But since he's seventeen and in college and in a town that I will never be allowed to set foot in because of its dangerous reputation, while [[Tropers/{{MiraShio}} I'm]] fifteen and in high school and not even allowed to be in a relationship yet, it might as well be. * This Venezuelan troper has been in Belgium for the past ten months as an exchange student. Two months ago, she started dating her current, Belgian, girlfriend. She (the troper) goes back home in two weeks. Cue depressing Snow Patrol music. * Me: Washington. Her: California. Planning to meet in August of 2011. We're very happy with each other and very much in love. Biggest Problem: Unsupportive Parents. FML * This troper lives in Missouri and his girlfriend lives in California. This is our second time being in a relationship (I was a high school freshman the first time [first time lasted 7 months, by the way] now graduated). She's wanting to focus on school and me, being the nice guy that I am, is going along with it. In any case, we're planning on meeting next year after she graduates. And seeing that she'd rather not have me go to Cali, I'll fly her out here to Missouri. It'll be great. And I'm expecting sex. Lots and lots of sex... ---I miss you, Baby! I can't wait until I can go back to LongDistanceRelationship! <<|TroperTales|>>

LongingLook * I wasn't looking at that sudoku you were doing. I was looking at you. [[AllLoveIsUnrequited Siiiiiiigh...]]

LongList Examples: * [[Tropers/EternallyAnonymous I]] work at a Dairy Queen, every now and then someone will ask what kind of Blizzard/shake/sundae flavours we have. Well, we have 20 sundae and shake flavours, and more than 30 Blizzard flavours. So, every now and then, I list them off rapid fire, only pausing for breath when I change the page. I'm usually asked the repeat the list, albeit slower. * When asked to do something my usual response is "Fine, but I require a roll of pink duct tape, a box of Band-Aids, a 24 pak of flavored water, 50 USD worth of 24 karat gold, a lock pick, a

[[KatanasAreJustBetter katana]], (some video game that I want goes here), a pony, and a working time machine.

LookBehindYou * You'd be surprized how often "LOOK! A Flying bird!" works ** OH LOOK, A DISTRACTION! * A former classmate had tried to use this while trying to block her from exiting a safe zone in a P.E game that was similar to capture the flag. I tried to subvert this by pretending to fall for it only to turn back once she was out of the safe zone, but it was [[DoubleSubversion double subverted]] when I wasn't able to tag her. * [[Tropers/{{Specialist290}} Yours truly]] likes to randomly point and say, "Look, a distraction!" in a perfectly casual tone of voice while talking to a group of people. Inevitably, someone ''always'' falls for it. HilarityEnsues. ** This troper uses that occasionally, and in an improv game in Drama class, I used it to get off the stage and tag another person (It basically works as someone goes up on stage, improvises a small scene, makes an exit and another person goes up). *** Someone [[AnthonyMercer I]] know uses "A bear!" ** {{Excel-2009}}. [[OlderThanTheyThink I thought I invented that one.]] *** What is Excell-2009? ** This troper tried that exact phrase it in a heated game of ultimate frisbee to distract someone guarding me. It worked too well. The blocker looked, as did my receiver, who was wide open in the endzone. I still riff on him for it. ** [[ShadicTheHedgehog This troper]] has used "Look! A distraction!" a few times and has gotten five people to fall for it. He only does it once per person, though. ** Worked for [[@/KatanaCat me]] just today. You see, my parents just kept talking and talking and talking and it was getting annoying, so... --> Dad: BlahBlahBlah --> Me: Look a distraction! *points at wall* --> Dad: What? ''(turns out he didn't hear me very well)'' --> ''Mom says I just said the equivalent of "Look, [[ElGoonishShive a demonic duck!]]", while I race out of the room'' *** Sadly, while I was posting about it on TV Tropes, Dad took it personally because I did it just as Dad took up the 'conversation' where Mom left off. I had to explain it was just that having people talking and talking was getting kind of annoying, and I [[RuleOfFunny thought it would be funny]] to see if it would work. * This troper, while explaining something in a long-winded manner, has a habit of trailing off mid-sentence and staring over the person he's talking to's shoulder. It's great. ** {{Excel-2009}}. That's never worked for me. How does {{House}} pull it off? * This troper was landed in the unfortunate situation of being asked out by a guy she had no interest in dating. Somehow, her thoughts jumped to TVTropes, and she said in an exasperated tone of voice, "Oh,

what are they doing NOW?" while looking over the guy's shoulder. Sure enough, he turned around... and she ran for her life. ** I high-five you for that. * This troper has a character in a ''DungeonsAndDragons'' game who uses this tactic with great frequency... and it ''always'' works! Despite her having only two ranks in Bluff! It even worked against the CardCarryingVillain with ten ranks in Sense Motive. * There was a running joke at [[JohnnyE my]] old school to point into the distance saying "Look! An ''eagle!''" ([[MisplacedWildlife in South-east England, not very likely]]...) * This troper once managed to escape from some bullies at school by pointing up in the sky and shouting, "[[TooDumbToLive Look! A dead bird!]]" * This troper did this to a straight and gay friend when they were quizzing me about my sexuality. I claimed that I was Asexual and got them wondering what an asexual has to the point I grabbed my backpack and ran for the sidehall. * If I have fries or tots for lunch, my guy friend would say, "Look! A monkey!" and steals said food. Even though every time he doesn't I never look. * I was once the emcee in an assembly. While our tech guy was scrambling to fix a broken program we needed to present, I pointed to a random spot in the rafters and shouted, "Look! Invisible birds!" Naturally a few people did look. And when I did the exact same thing a few minutes later, several people fell for it ''twice.'' * I play Amtgard (a very rp-light larp; basically tag with foam swords). It's practically a tactic of mine, to occassionally (but not too often) call attention to something nearby ("Your shoes are untied" "What that piece of paper?" "What's the address of that gas station?" etc). It almost always works. Nothing is more glorious than poking someone in the gut when they're staring at their shoes instead of fighting. * [[@/Gerazzi I]] once did this exact thing, only it was "[[TheStoic Speaky]]! Look! A flying banana!" * My little sister swears by this technique when babysitting young children. Apparently "Be distracted!" works wonders when stopping toddlers from having tantrums. * This troper's brother was playing hide-and-go-seek-tag once and was cornered by a guy on the other team. He pointed behind the guy and shouted "Look! Elvis!" The guy looked and her brother got away. Seriously. * [[@/KatanaCat Same Troper's]] Dad as the one who just [[OverlyLongGag keeps]] [[MotorMouth talking]], when he was 10, looked out the window and went "Look! It's the Batmobile!". His sister went over and looked. If you look up 'gullible' in the dictionary, there's picture of her. Well, not really, but there [[WhatAnIdiot SHOULD]] be. * One of my friends was being held hostage after school in the Hall by a girld who was insiting he said he loved her. He escaped by yelling LOOK AN OBVIOUS DISTRACTION. He as prmtly recaptured when he ran to the schools roof instead of to safety. ---[[LookBehindYou LOOK]] OVER THERE! IT'S SOME [[FetishFuel FETISH

FUEL!]] ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LookBothWays * This troper once hit an unwary jaywalker on her bike. Relying on the sound of oncoming cars, he stepped into the road without looking either way - about a metre away from the troper. Since the road was sloping downhill, she had no time to stop or even swerve, only to think "You idi- " before colliding with him. No one was seriously injured but the bike later turned out to need a new derailleur hanger. The troper was very, very angry. * This troper almost had a close encounter with a bus because he forgot to look. Luckily, he was with some more attentive friends. * This troper also had a close encounter with a bus. In the Bahamas, they drive on the wrong side of the road. * [[@/{{Amethystasheryn}} My]] mobility teacher works with about seventeen kids, all blind or visually impaired, with varying degrees of sight or light perception. She's told me several stories about her students either not paying attention or just not seeing (or hearing) an oncoming car before they begin to cross the street. And, yeah, being a total myself, I've had my fair share of incidents, too. It ''is'' possible to "look" both ways when you can't see, but it's just as easy to fail at it as well. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LooksLikeSheIsEnjoyingIt * This troper has more than once been told "MAKE A DIFFERENT NOISE!!" by tattoo artists. The two leading theories are a) this trope and b) the artist feeling bad because I sound like a kitten (whimpers, squeaks, little 'mm's, etc). I don't enjoy the pain of getting a tattoo inordinately, either, so it counts. What are they ''[[LooksLikeSheIsEnjoyingIt doing]]'' back there??

LoopholeAbuse * For a college civics class, this troper had to join up with / assist a nonprofit public organization of his choice that operated in town. His response was to round up a couple of his friends and proclaim themselves the Philanthropists' Society, a group dedicated to getting students off the streets and encourage peer bonding. Which they did by playing lots of video games. Obviously, since the group was newlycreated, the troper and his two buddies were the only members. Sadly, the organization was forced to close down right after the end of the assignment. ** How come?

* The BoardingSchool this editor went to must have taken a leaf out of a Japanese Sh gun's book: ''Mobility causes insubordination''. They were adamant that no student should have a practical mode of transport to call their own. Bicycles were strictly for "leisure purposes only", which meant that the bikes were locked up by the school in a shed except from Saturday afternoons until sunset on Sunday - because allowing lights on a bicycle would would mean students could ride at night and that's far too practical. Sixth-formers (i.e. those whom were old enough) were prohibited from having cars. So bottom line: there wasn't no rule about motorcycles! * Me, my sister, and our aunt once found loopholes at a public swimming pool that would technically allow us to bring in a live shark. * This troper had a friend in high school who was the absolute ''king'' of loopholes. He showed up one day in a dress, wig, and go-go boots. One of the teachers informed him that as a male, he was not allowed to wear a dress to school and he would have to wear pants. The next day, the boy showed up wearing his mother's blouse and pearls. * [[@/MrW This troper]] goes to a school where the students are always trying to find loopholes to access things on their laptops. There are actually ''Facebook groups'' dedicated to accessing websites like Youtube in school, and the exchange of emulators and flash games is widespread. * This troper went to a rather regimented private school with stringent rules regarding hairstyles and so forth. One of his ne'erdo-well classmates discovered that there was no rule specifically banning dreadlocks, and proceeded to acquire some. This, he hastens to point out, was a boy of Irish extraction with a headful of bright orange, tightly curled hair, a head shaped like a light bulb, and skin that outside the freckles was so pale it disrupted astronomical observations. The day after he showed up like this, a rule against dreadlocks was added, and he was forcibly escorted to a haircut. * A co-worker who once worked for NASA reported that his department was not allowed to buy computers, despite needing them to accomplish their work. So they bought a lot of "printer test equipment". * This troper's gym class was required to get in pairs write a paragraph about our hero, who had to be a real person. This troper and his partner decided to write about Sasquatch, on the grounds that the teacher couldn't prove Sasquatch didn't exist. The teacher still wouldn't let us. * A friend of a friend of this troper discovered that there was no rule at his high school against a student's pet cat being nominated for class president. A rule was implemented when the cat won, and the principal declared that "a cat cannot be class president". ** Future generations will read the rule book go "WTF?!?!" and ask someone. Many generations later HilarityEnsues as they try and figure out WHY its a rule. ** In the future, someone will probably read that rule and decide to nominate a dog... ** The rules didn't say that the class president must be a student at the school? *** This troper tried to get his friends to write-in candidates such

as JohnCleese, and my friend's left shoe. We got away with this (they lost) for two years. The third year, there was an announcement banning write-in candidates. Damn. * During his younger brothers' days at this troper's Catholic high school, the rules on boys' uniforms for one year included that "pants are optional," with the intended meaning that they could be of any color, cuffed or not, etc. The literal meaning was much discussed, but apparently neither kilts nor the Harpo Marx method were ever actually attempted. ** That rule wasn't thought out too well, huh * This troper had great fun exploiting her boarding school's loopholes. Before her exploits, there were no rules against electing pet rocks as dorm proctors, sitting on ''dorm'' rooftops, climbing in the space above the ceiling tiles, storing candy, balloons, confetti, etc in the space above the ceiling tiles, serving 'breakfast in bed' to the entire dorm at 5 AM, faking a murder scene with the drama teacher;s ''borrowed'' fake blood, using Magic Markers to decorate the ceilings (walls were forbidden), covering one's entire dorm room in wrapping-paper-as-wallpaper, tying crepe paper and/or ribbons to fans, spiking the decaf coffee with caffeine shots, temporarily altering a lock so keys are ineffectual (it was temporary, jeesh!), or using fencing foils outside of the gym. * While it's expected that students wear formal wear at the Middle School graduation, there ain't no rule that they can't wear whatever they want as long as it fits the rules, which techinicaally means that graduating while cosplaying as a character from Higurashi no Naku Koro ni is allowed. * While This Troper was playing scrabble with her grandfather, we discovered there ain't no rule saying you have to put the tiles on the board letter-side up! * This Troper had to write an essay about a "Famous Archer". So? Green Arrow's an archer! (I got an A for the assignment) ** Next time you gotta do [[StarTrekEnterprise Captain Archer]] * {{Griffin}} once tried to out-talk her dad about a requirement that she get above a B for her report card. B+ is greater than B! ** [[spoiler:She failed.]] * When this troper was a young child, his mother gave him a set of Crayola marker pens and told him not to draw on the floor or walls with them. He immediately figured out a way to stack them end-to-end and drew eight parallel lines on the ceiling, one of each color, and on discovery deployed the "but you didn't tell me not to draw on the ceiling" defense. And yes, he got away with it. ** Very similar story -- this troper's 4-year-old cousin was told to stop drawing on the walls with a crayon. So he started drawing with a nail on the side of the the dresser. * When [[Tropers/CaptHayfever your captain]] was in 8th grade, our school uniform code demanded that boys wear long slacks between October 15th & April 15th, no matter the weather. For years, we had complained about the impracticality of the rule, especially since the girls had the option of a skirt for hot days during the no-shorts season. One of our teachers sardonically pointed out that there ain't no rule saying a boy couldn't wear the skirt...so the next day, one of

my friends did. (Though technically, there ''was'' a rule against it, but since a teacher had challenged him to do so, he still got through the day with impunity.) The next year--when we had all graduated--the rule was amended to allow boys to wear shorts whenever it was warm enough. The administration liked our ''idea''; [[TheComplainerIsAlwaysWrong they just didn't like that a bunch of preteens had come up with it]] & didn't want us to benefit from our own [[BecauseISaidSo "defiance."]] ** This troper has always wondered about the logic behind requiring girls to wear skirts that are a specific length or longer, but then allow cheerleaders to wear skirts that are significantly shorter and allow them to expose much more skin than is otherwise permissible. ** The same goes for boys wearing tanktop shirts in a co-ed PE class, but can't wear a sleeveless shirt in class because it's ''inapproproate''. * I once heard a tale of a middle school basketball team from a deaf school in my hometown. League rules said that when playing that school, all players must stop cold at the whistle so that the deaf students would know it had been blown. One time, their opponents stopped anyway, then when the deaf kids had let their guard down, put up an easy basket. ItOnlyWorksOnce, since the ref got ''pissed'' afterwards. Parents on both sides agreed on the WhatTheHellHero nature of the play. * This troper is a pottymouth. This troper's mother disapproves of swearing. After a (failed) attempt at restraining her natural swearing impulses, this troper merrily learned to curse in several languages her mother does not speak. * [[{{Azzizzi}} This troper]] often exploited loopholes in the military whenever we went on field exercises. For example, during an exercise at Fort Polk, a fellow soldier and I ran across an "enemy" scout's motorcycle unattended. Driving a military vehicle without authorization is illegal, so we put the bike in neutral and pushed it to the friendly camp. When the motorcyle's rightfully-authorized rider showed up a few days later looking for it, he attempted to make the case that we had stolen it and had ridden it without authorization. We argued (successfully) that we had found it in the woods and had recovered it for him. I even pretended to be shocked that he wasn't appreciative that we were keeping it safe for him until he came to get it. * [[{{Ozzie}} This troper]]'s high school had an annual event called Mix-And-Match day, where boys would generally wear mismatched clothing and girls would generally dress more masculinely. Seeing an opportunity to screw with the other AP students, he came to school that day in a miniskirt and pigtails, since it wasn't established that he couldn't do so. * At my middle school, like at so many other schools, students were required to run a mile in gym class. You aren't allowed to walk. You aren't allowed to skip. You aren't allowed to run backwards. But, as two male classmates realized, there ain't no rule against leapfrog! ** ... but surely leapfrogging for a mile both takes more effort and takes longer than just jogging it? This almost sounds like an inversion- exploiting the loophole abuses you.

* My professor for an English course at my university said this was the reason she didn't allow open-book exams. Turns out that some students got around the limits set on the notes you're allowed to have. They apparently wrote out the covered text in very small print and crammed all that within the permitted notes. And by small, I mean they were using magnifying glasses to read their notes during the exam! ** I would imagine this is the reason that professors at this troper's law school usually have an "everything or nothing" rule on outside materials during exams. Either you can bring in anything you like, or nothing but what's in your head. They don't call it "Rules Lawyering" for nothing. ** That reminds me of my final maths exam in high school. We were only permitted bound books, not loose notes. We were much dismayed by this news, given that flipping through a textbook is supremely inferior to hand-written notes. However our teacher was quick to point out that it doesn't take much to bind several pages together, and she did in fact have a binding machine in her office... * An acquaintance of this troper once had a college semester where the start, end, and break dates for classes were very oddly scheduled, all adding up to some classes being forced to have their final exams ''the afternoon before Christmas Eve''. The administration had rules for when finals for each class had to be (although professors were allowed to decide to have no final at all), and the only class-wide exception were for final exams that were longer than the standard blocks of time. According to said acquaintance, multiple professors decided to eschew the final altogether for their respective classes, replacing it with "a midterm on the last day of class, which just happens to be cumulative and have a greater weight on grades than previous midterms". ** Most of my college classes have been like that. "We aren't allowed to have a 'final' outside of 'finals week', but I can't be bothered to be here an extra week, so our last day of class we will be having a cumulative exam that happens to be worth as much as a final." ** That's strange. It seems the people at the university I attend thought of that - they actually ''do'' allow you to have the final before finals week. * I was playing Munchkin and was unfortunate enough to have a chicken on his head (-1 to all die rolls). I then encountered the 1,478 Orcs card which was pumped up to the point he could not beat it. The Bad Stuff on this card is that if you fail to run away, you have to roll a die. If you roll a 1 or a 2, you die, if you roll anything else, you lose X levels, where X is the number you just rolled. I rolled a 1, and my opponent stated that meant I died, until I pointed out that the chicken meant I technically rolled a 0, since it wasn't a 1 or a 2, meant I lost that many levels, namely none. * This troper's grandfather told him a story about his father when said father was young. Grandfather had set boundaries on where Father was allowed to go, the northern boundary was that he wasn't allowed to cross the railroad tracks. One day, Grandfather is driving home from work and sees Father riding his bike well past the railroad tracks. When questioned, Father explained that the rails had been pulled up so

that new tracks could be put down, so he never actually had to cross them. * There is a website called Simulation Chamber, which is a message board-based game played out in a fashion similar to SuperRobotWars. One year, when they had revamped the entire game, they had a tournament where players could fight with "grunt units" (which was classified as units with a rank lower than 4 for the rules). Beyond that, the only other rule was that they couldn't use certain items. However, one person found a loophole and exploited it: they said no items, they said nothing about upgrade chips. (Upgrade chips were like the upgrades from the games. Besides making them stronger, they would raise an unit's rank up 25%.) Cue one player bringing in a Rank 3 GM (from MobileSuitGundam), fully upgraded and kicking ass until the mods saw this and decided that, retroactively, no chips. * The spell, Summon Monster (Pathfinder RPG), allows you to summon a creature within a 25ft+5ft every two levels sphere. My friend used this to drop a pony (aprox. 500 lb) on all of his enemies. * There ain't no rule that states that you can't store an huge amount of data on ones calculator on this troper's school. Unfortunately, the information can not always be salvaged. * Swedish schools are generally quite relaxed when it comes to dress codes. Basically, there aren't any. However, when the school photos are taken, there are often rules saying that you aren't allowed to dress in a way that makes it impossible to tell that you are you. There was an article in a Swedish newspaper about a high school student who, for the last few years, had worn very [[MarilynManson Marilyn Manson]]-esque make-up to school every day. For this year's school photo, though, the photographer told him to remove his make-up, because it concealed too much of his face. The boy tried to loophole his way out of it, claiming that without the make-up, no one would recognise him. Sadly, IIRC, he didn't get away with it, and opted instead for not being in the photo at all. * [[Tropers/PoochyEXE This troper]] was in a robotics competition where there was a size limit on the robots, enforced by marking a rectangle on the playfield. All robots had to be completely inside the rectangle at the start. One of the other teams circumvented this by building a robot that was ''really'' tall. Immediately after the starting horn, they'd hit a button to make it unfold into a gigantic but regular height robot, which would've been ''way'' over the size limit had the robot been in that position at the start. The next year, the competition organizers added a height limit in response. ** This reminds this Troper of my Robotics team, we are always losing as a result of loop-hole abuse (it is the ref's doing it) .Such as last year when a ball got stuck outside on the field and we needed to return it or get penalized, so we did. It turns out that by returning the ball our teammates hand was counted as a ball by the sensors and we were penalized a point for every second it was not returned to the field (it was the beginning of the match). Ultimately because of this loop-hole of the sensor counting anything as a ball we have the largest penalty of any First team ever. (We also think the ref's hate us as we were given a red card for a situation they had just made illegal four days prior, which wouldn't have mattered, except it was

the semi-final match and we would have won the match otherwise. * [[Tropers/PriffyViole This Troper]] was in a gym class where we played real life PacMan (Minus the ghost-eating, for obvious reasons) and one rule was to stay on the green lines bordering the gym floor. Well, the PSMS gym has these four small green lines seperated from the rest. You can guess what I did from that information. Unfortunately, I got tagged by one of the "ghosts" anyway after about three minutes. (The gym teacher actually noticed this and noted that it was a pretty clever strategy.) * This troper always takes advantage whenever he curses and someone says [[TemptingFate "Watch your language."]] Cue me cursing in either Italian, Croatian, or Spanish. Another loophole abuse was people at school weren't allowed to play any games online, and the computers did not allow you to install any. (And even if you could get past that they would be wiped off when you log off) Student solution: Install a game to a flash drive, and access it through computer. How I abused a loophole: Although people were told not to be playing Halo: Combat Evolved through that method, I did one better. I played Half-Life and it's mods. (Whereas others were only playing Halo where the teachers didn't care) * One of this tropers classmates was banned from going on a school trip to Edinburgh due to bad behaviour. We arrived in Edinburgh to find him already there, saying that since he came down himself he technically wasn't on the trip. The teachers conceded this, but gave him detention for truancy next day. * This troper belongs to a university club that focuses son playing card games, including Magic, Munchkin, etc. We became on official club sanctioned by the school by adding the word "Educational" to our name. We then partnered up with Wizards of the Coast, wherein they would give us money and free stuff if we held a promotional event. We needed a bank account to receive money. We could not get a bank account as a group without a tax ID number. So we filed for official non-profit organization status with the US government, got a tax ID number, and are now legally capable of officially partnering with Wizards of the Coast. We now can buy and sell things, as well as hold fund raisers, and not have to pay taxes to the government, all in the name of spreading education through playing games. * Lessee, the catholic school my uncle works at is pretty much a textbook example of LoopholeAbuse when it comes to the United States Constitution. Students have been expelled for: '''a)''' Being Gay or having openly-gay family members '''b)''' having parents with bumper stickers deemed "offensive". (ie any that aren't in blind support of radical right-winged and [[TakeThat Lolbertarian]] candidates) '''c)''' Having non catholics in the family '''d)''' The most petty reasons ever. You don't have the right to free speech in there, they literally teach you that ''only the government has to play by the rules set in the constitution'' and that if it's your own property you can be as "Orwellian" as you want. (Ironic that Orwell was a socialist.) Amongst other things, you basically have absolutely ''no'' rights. Teacher accuses you of something you didn't do? Tough cookies

- no fair trial here. All the logic is "Don't like it? then get out of the school". Even though for a good 70% of the student base, the nearest schools are a good ''hour-long'' drive away, and the only other private school that's not really long ways away is a reform school. ** That's not a loophole, that's just the law. The Bill of Rights starts every amendment with "congress shall make no law" for a reason. It didn't even apply to state governments when it was first passed, just the US congress (they fixed that). Private institutions can still do whatever they want as long as they don't care about getting any kind of government support/funding. That said, it's sucky situation and my heart goes out to the kids stuck at that school. *** Of the 27 constitutional amendments, exactly ''one'' - the First starts "Congress shall make no law..." *** The law states you can do whatever the damn hell you want on private property still. We have a trope for that, actually: LoopholeAbuse. * This troper was in class with a substitute teacher and the teacher didn't leave any work for us to do. Rather than sit around bored, me and three other students decided to play spades. The sub told us we weren't allowed to have cards in school. So I asked my friend for a few sheets of paper, tore them into fifty two squares, and made a deck out of them. AintNoRule against playing with paper. * In America, you're allowed to pay people hired as waiters and I think busboys and hosts way below minimum wage as long as they make up the difference in tips. Naturally, Golden Corral hired everyone as waiters and waitresses except the managers and the cooks, so even if you were working the Cash Register, you were only being paid $2.65 an hour when a) nobody actually ''tips'' the person at the register and b) Nobody actually tipped in the restaurant either. It was a buffet for some reason not everyone seems to tip at a buffet, presumably because they weren't hired as waiters or busboys and were being paid minimum wage at ''least''. And you ''also'' had to come in an hour before or stay an hour after your shift to wrap silverware or do dishes - so essentially, that's free labour they're getting out of you, and you're practically ''working'' for free with how little your paychecks were! (ie, someone at school who worked for 40 during the summer had a check of $92 - because five of those hours were ''free labour''. If you were getting minimum wage, which at the time was around $6.5 at ''LEAST'', they should have gotten over ''twice'' that much...and that's only doing the math for the stuff they were actually ''paid'' for.) There's a good reason that Golden corral was blacklisted to ''hell'' by schools, teenagers, and unions alike, because whoever the fuck was running that place needed to be ''sued'' into oblivion. If it makes you feel any better, they've been out of business for a couple years, now. ** If you're talking about [[http://www.goldencorral.com/ this place]], they're still open -- that might have been a local franchise that got shut down. * Most of [[@/{{endlessness}} this troper's]] teachers will not give open-book exams. They will, however, allow the usage of graphing calculators... which can effectively store pretty much anything you

want. * Signatures (sp?) don't have to be written in cursive. Your name doesn't have to be in the standard spelling. You don't have to use correct grammar in non-language classes. ** Heck, it doesn't even have to be in letters. Your signature could be a squiggle or a symbol with meaning only to you. * This troper's university uses standardized cover sheets on its exams. In addition to listing the exam's date, subject location etc. it also has a place where the teacher can list any items the students are allowed to take into the exam (writing utensils, graphing calculator etc.). One teacher decided to have some fun with this and added nonsensical items to the list the most common of which was "tire repair set". One student who had failed to study for his exam noted that it didn't specify what type (or size) of tire repair set was allowed and brought in a 48 piece set the size of an average suitcase. After being refused entrance into the exam he successfully argued that he hadn't broken any rules was therefor wrongly refused entry. He was allowed to retake the test on his own 2 weeks later allowing him plenty of time the learn the subject matter. * This troper's university newspaper (The Print in NUI Maynooth) asked the university's play-do society for 200 words describing the society. The society proceeded to give the paper 200 words relating to arts and crafts. Printed above the "article" in the paper was a guideline for future editors: "Please be specific in what you ask for". * This troper realised about halfway through 6th grade that the dress code of her private school only required students to wear shoes in gym class. By the end of the year they had to apend to it because only about three or four students were actually coming to school with their shoes on. * To get from a train station near [[@/SoWeAteThem my]] house to an airport in a nearby tourist trap, you'd have to pay about 9.5 USD. If you forgot your ticket, the "excursion fee" is about $5.40. The least you can make a ticket for is $1.75. It was my mother who first noticed that you could make a $1.75 ticket and just happen to forget it on the way there, thus shaving a good $2.40 or so off your ticket costs--more if you live further north than I. ** Out at the local SPCA, volunteers are given clearance to handle certain pets depending on experience. This includes petting the cats and opening their cages. However, the cat booth also has several backscratchers, all narrow enough to fit between the bars of the kennel cages... ** One of my more, shall we say, ''oppressive,'' counselors at summer camp claimed to have built her rulebook to invoke the trope. Given its contents, however, it just came off as her [[YouKeepUsingThatWord really liking to say the word]] "loophole." * This troper exploits this trope. He signs his name how he usually writes anything, he spells his name as though he's a CloudCuckoolander--and he is--and he doesn't use good grammar in any non-language class. * A volunteer youthgroup helper at this troper's church loves entertaining middle and high schoolers with stories about abusing (or attempting to abuse, just to mess with peoples' minds) loopholes. Once

he received a free box of runts after counting every runt and noticing that there were fewer banana runts in the box than other flavors and writing the company. Another time, he asked an employee on a smokebreak outside of McDonalds if he could take a rock from a gravel pile outside the restaurant. When she said it was fine, he asked if he could take a handful. When she said that was fine, he asked if he could fill up the back of his pickup with the gravel. When she was not OK with this, he asked how many rocks he could take before it was not OK. Unfortunately, his friend was cracking up in the background, so he didn't get to carry on the joke any further. * As a child, my brother and I had a game based on this. The object was for one player to be able to perform some particular action (something random, like making them do a stupid dance or stealing something they were wearing) on the other using only commands (no physical force) and without simply telling them something like "Do/Let me do *object of game*". Any loophole, no matter how bizarre, was fair game. For instance, a command "stand still" would be met with a millisecond of stillness, followed by the opponent running away after all, no one had said how ''long'' to stand still. If they tried "Stand still until I say so," the opponent would interpret it as "Stand still until I say 'so'" and use the use of the word "so" in the command itself as an excuse to stop obeying. Eventually almost all commands ended in [[ObviousRulePatch "until I say so, but that time didn't count."]] The rules of the game itself (like what commands could not be given) could also be manipulated, which led to rule changes, which led to rules about rule changes, which in turn could be abused...The game quickly became a form of CalvinBall. I was very, very good at it. * This troper uses erasable pens in class. Even during tests. * This troper once had to go to a forced Christian camp in which they were divided by teams. He was BoredOnBoard. The teams had to answer some questions in a piece of paper and then a person from each team had to explain the answers in public. So, one of the questions was "Do you think the word love implies ...(I don't even remember, something to do with feelings and boredom, I guess) "? Every team was answering "Yes, because..." or "No, because". This troper's team had also a very elaborate answer like that. But when it was his turn to answer the question, he just answered "No.". * This troper's electronics class (a lot more dull than it sounds) had a lazy teacher. He would recycle quiz questions on tests and the ''final exam.'' His rules were that "anything in your handwriting" is OK to bring to use on the exam. What did this troper do? Why, he gathered all his (very short) quizzes, and handwrote everything, including diagrams and problems, the night before. He aced the final. ** [[@/{{endlessness}} This troper]] had an Electric Circuits teacher which would do exactly that: recycle questions from older exams on the final exam. I gathered all the exams I could and loaded them into my graphing calculator (which was required for this class). It worked nicely. * [[@/{{Riddlewizard}} This Troper]] has many cases of this. He's been told by his mother he should be a lawyer.This is a short list** Item the first: He was at a school announcement thing in the

auditorium, where the staff were going over the rules. One of said rules was "No MP3 players". He didn't have one, he had a portable CD player, so he brought that in. A teacher decided to call him on it when he was listening to music in the hall, and since all the students were given school handbooks with the full rules in them, he pulled out the handbook, showed the teacher, closed it and put it away- and told them that "There is no rule against it, so I'll be on my way". The teacher was livid. The rule was never changed. ** Item the second- In school, sunglasses were not allowed, and the Vice principal called him on it while he was wearing them in school. This Troper cheerfully pulled out an optometrists note saying that it was fine due to light sensitivity and that the school nurse had a copy of the note, (it got worse over time until the point that he gets migraines without them, killer night vision, though.) The Vice principal laughed and told him it was the weirdest doctors note he'd ever seen. This was repeated with the teachers in every class this troper went to that day, minus the laughing bit. ** Item the third- This Troper was told at 15 he could not buy an uncensored CD of Eminem, so he had a friend burn him a copy. When his mother found out she shook her head, and revised it to , he can't buy, borrow, own, or have in his possession. ** Item the fourth- Upon his stepfather saying "Money doesn't grow on trees" This 8-year-old troper pointed out that since it was made from trees, it did- much to the shock of his stepfather. Though they had a laugh when they discovered it's made from silk and denim here in America. ** Item the fifth- This Troper and his brother make occasionally contracts with each other to ensure they do something or other. While he exploits the many loopholes his brother's contracts provide, he writes contracts with none whatsoever. He also find loophole in promises others force him to make to get out of them. * This arithmetically-challenged troper once responded to a "No calculators!" rule in a high school physics class (in the late 90's) by bringing a slide rule to the exam. The look of incredulity on the teacher's face was priceless. * Whenever we played Capture the Flag when I was little, I'd breakout people in the jail by walking slowly to it with my head hanging; everyone assumed that I had been tagged and they left me alone. Unfortunately, everyone else copied me and it got so bad that people just instinctively triple tagged everybody going near the jail, period. * This troper's friend's sister noted that there was nothing against the rules of rolling the mile in school, so she immediately dropped the ground and rolled for a mile. * This troper was doing a Technology class in high school which involved using word wrap. We had to type a page of text from a book that we used in class. However, since I had to write it at home and the books had to be kept at school, I was allowed to type a long, random explanation of my life and views, none of which was serious. * This troper's abused a couple of loopholes in her time: -->Back in primary school me and my friends were fond of playing the game British Bulldog but the school banned it. Naturally we'd just

rename the game, and when that got banned we'd rename it again. Eventually they banned all games with the rules of British Bulldogs. Cue us altering some of the rules slightly. -->Another of my school's had specific rules for sports days. You had to be in X number of events and you couldn't be entered into more than Y number of events I can't remember how many that was. The rules made sense it meant that everyone had to participate and different forms couldn't put all their most sporty pupils in all of the events and win everything as the incredibly competitive PE teachers were likely to do. This was all well and good until year 9 when a few of the girls in my form group had moved schools. We put everyone in the maximum number of events each, but it worked out we were still short 1 person for the girls 4x100m relay. After reading the rules carefully we realised that there were basically 2 other rules only girls could compete in girls' events and boys in boys' events, and you had to be part of the form you were representing. Our form tutor met both of those requirements. -->Every Friday when I was in sixth form we'd have 'Tutor Group Challenges' basically trivia quizzes that ranked your tutor group. Students had to answer the questions, and using only their minds and what was at their desks, so that people wouldn't cheat and use the teacher's computer. After a couple of weeks my form tutor decided that since her first lesson after lunch was on the opposite side of the school on Fridays and that it wasn't a form room that she would move Friday registration there. She was an IT teacher. We started winning a lot more after that. -->There's a few other examples, but my family eventually caught on that they need to be very careful when asking me to do something. When I was about 14 they were redecorating and I was underfoot. My dad told me to go paint the downstairs toilet. I cheerfully accepted, but then my mum interrupted and told me that that meant the room the toilet was in, not the toilet itself. Ruined all my fun! * My forum has had a few members who were desperate to get around our rule of having 10 posts before you are allowed to advertise their own forum. We had members replying to every thread in the advertising forum saying "Nice forum-I will join yours if you join mine" until they had enough posts to advertise, we had members bumping up year old threads with posts like "lol". We had people making 10 posts of one word long, posting 10 threads with links to random youtube videos for songs by a band they liked. In the end we closed this by adding "Staff have the right to reject links if they feel the member's posts are not good enough" ---AintNoRule against going back to the main page! ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LordBritishPostulate {{Andyzero}}: * ''FinalFantasyX'', has a traditional "Magic Urn" enemy that is

unkillable, rather, any damage you do results in it immediately and painfully explode, but this does not count as a victory. ThisTroper killed it with the proper battle music using Zanmato's randomly occurring Instant Death attack. Others have used "Doom" on it and then waited hundreds of turns. * The first ''PhantasyStar'' has "the Nightmare" aka "Saccobus". Leveled up for days to fight that thing, for 5 experience. Was it worth it? YES! * Everything can "die" in ''ChronoTrigger'', Ozzie's crystal shields, Lavos Spawn's shells, and even Zeal's arms. ThisTroper made sure of it. * Likewise the Whelk Snail, first boss in ''FinalFantasyVI'' can be killed via reducing it's shell down to 0; as opposed to just attacking it's head when it sticks out. This results in a painful counterattack, but do it enough times and it will die. It will even give you a midpotion. * Only discovered through cheating, so it doesn't really count, but the Phanto from ''SuperMarioBros 2'' game can die if simultaneously hit by a Stop Time clock and a Star Invincibility. {{Alcatrazz}} * Reverse-pickpocketed some very heavy equipment onto some kid in Little Lamplight, then pushed him into the water. * In oblivion, I reverse pickpocketed a ring, enchanted to do constant shock damage, on to a count. PentiumMMX2: * In VideoGame/PaperMario, I admit to using a Gameshark to beat Bowser in that very first battle just to see what would happen (Which you're not supposed to win; being a HopelessBossFight under normal circumstances). The result? The game crashed because it didn't know what to do next, thanks to my breaking of the story. MightyJAK: * There are a couple of pet [[CallARabbitASmeerp rarabs]] hopping around in [[FinalFantasyXI Windurst Waters]] (in the area of the map labeled "Toraimorai Canal Gate"). Although attacking and using offensive magic is restricted in this area, the fact that these rarabs act the same as the ones outside town has caused some players to wonder if they can be killed. * This troper found that he could kill townsfolk in ''FinalFantasyAdventure'' and right as they die, they say their WelcomeToCorneria line. It was pretty funny, because I imagined that the hero was saying "ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!" and repeatedly whipping them with a chain and throwing spears in their faces until they died. Click back to {{Lord British Postulate}} to exploit the weight/drop speed vector mechanics and insta-kill it. ----<<|VideoGameTropes|>> <<|LawsAndFormulas|>>

LordErrorProne * [[TheTallOne Me.]] Coupled with my insufferable genius-ness, it's a wonder people still talk to me. * This Troper happens to know a guy who has a huge ego, yet makes hilarious typos * I used to be like this all the way through High School, and my first two years at college. While I still make mistakes, I'm not as full of myself as I used to be. ---There's no link back to LordErrorProne here! ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LostInTheMaize * [[NickTheSwing This troper]] remembers one with a reference to ChildrenOfTheCorn. There were a troop of kids who volunteered to be the AxCrazy cultists and scare people witless. This troper had to hide behind a big piece of hay when the resident red haired BloodKnight walked over and [[ToThePain started saying what he was gonna do.]] It was really damaging because, beforehand, this troper distinctly remembered playing with him, creating some nasty MoodWhiplash when we were friends playing in the area outside, and suddenly he was threatening to ''[[HighOctaneNightmareFuel "offer the youth traitor to He Who Dwells In the Corn, cut his neck ear to ear."]]'' He apologized afterwards. ----

LostInTransmission * This troper experienced a vaguely disturbing railway announcement which repeated twice with the same chunk missing: "Due to mumblegrmpfmumble in the London area, all services to London Euston are currently cancelled." ItGotWorse several minutes later, when a more complete announcement revealed that what had been blocked out was the ominously non-specific word 'problems'... * At the end of an excursion, this troper chose the option to be taken to a tramway stop in the city and picked up by her parents there. Since this was a change in the plan, she called her dad. -->Troper: You got to pick me up at [static]. -->Dad: Where? The connection's bad. -->Troper: I said [static]. -->...

LostWeddingRing * This can be TruthInTelevision. My grandmother was swimming, and her ring fell off and into a lake, where it was presumably eaten by a fish. So my grandfather took his ring and re-married her with it. Something of a RealLife subversion, but still sweet. :3

* Not exactly a wedding ring, but this troper has a ring she is very fond it. Then she lost it. On a beach. Full of dunes. She was miserable for ther rest of the day because it seemed impossible to get a new one (they don't make them any more). Troper's partner got her up at six the next morning with a huge seive and a spade. Half a dune later, the ring was found. ** While I'm glad you found the ring, I have to ask: you were allowed to dig up dunes? Or just not caught? Every beach I've been to has had signs saying you can't even walk on the dunes for one reason or another. * This troper works on a paintball field, and we had a customer lose his wedding ring during a game. You would imagine that the odds of finding a small gold band on a 10 acre bush field would be fairly low, but we did manage to find it in the end. * This troper once had an interesting conversation with two treasure hunters. They frequently find expensive wedding rings buried in the sands of the beaches outside expensive Honolulu hotels and are often asked by panicky people to help found ones that they've lost. * This troper's mother was babysitting two kids the other day. She was making burgers, so she took off her ring and set it on the table. A little while later, it was gone. We're convinced it was stolen, as the two little shithead kids stole 7 DS games as well. They claim it was an accident, and their father believes them. We got the games back, but not the $2K ring. They say they didn't steal it, and it's pretty much impossible to get it back now. I'm pretty sure they also stole an iPod and a fucking PSP, too, but we'll never know. * This troper's friend and her husband were pouring the fiberglass for the hull of the boat they were building, and her ring fell off into it. There was no way of getting it back out but as far as I know they still have the boat. * This troper has ''two'' stories of lost rings: her father lost his wedding band in the ocean while her parents were on vacation in North Carolina (several years before she was born), and she lost her own engagement ring ''two days before her wedding.'' (Her mother found it under a rotted log in the garden '''two years later.''' She screamed so loud my father thought she'd been bitten by a snake.) * This troper's father lost his wedding ring while swimming in the Brazilian ocean. To make matters worse for my parent's 15th anniversary they had new rings made, with my mom getting a new larger diamond and my mother's engagement diamond going into my father's ring. Yep that's the one he lost. ---... I think I left the ring back at LostWeddingRing. TAXI! ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LotusPosition * This troper learned how to do the lotus position by trial and error as a kid, while his joints were still fairly flexible, and has continued to stay in practice. He used to amuse kids he was

babysitting by assuming the position without using his hands (lifting the legs into position just using his leg muscles), walking across the floor on his knees, and "levitating" by pushing down on the floor with his hands. * This troper started doing it because he saw it on tv, but found it actually worked. In a fully relaxed position its too easy for your mind to wonder, but in the somewhat uncomfortable position, the feeling of your leg reminds you to stay focused * This troper ''cannot freaking do'' this with her legs. She saw it on TV when she was a little kid, and it was impossible back then, too. Flexibility has never exactly been her strong point. * ThisTroper consistently sits in half-lotus at the computer, much to the wonder of everyone else around her -- among other things, it provides a good support for her Wacom tablet and holds it at a comfortable angle. Full lotus is kinda painful, though. * This troper has never been able to get both feet into this position, or at least not for very long (I yanked the second foot into place once, but it didn't stay). I can manage half-lotus fairly easily, though. Like the previous troper, it makes a good place to put my laptop. * Tropers/{{JET73L}} usually uses the half-lotus (or a half-lotus with extended leg if I'm feeling particularly lazy) when using a laptop computer (and often when reading) on a couch or in a chair with an expansive cushion. As for the full lotus, the problem is probably less an issue of flexibility (the troper's joints are actually overly flexible but not quite double-jointed, and easily twist out of place) and more an issue of figuring out exactly how to shuffle the feet and calves around each other without doing it wrong. It's like a star-burr puzzle, but more difficult because it's squishy, organic, and painful for almost every failed attempt. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LoudOfWar * When troper Teslashark is gone riding his bike on busy streets, he use his phone to play songs that qualify as this. * This Troper's brother owns a hurdy-gurdy. This Troper's mere electric guitar can not compete with the ultimate hell unleashed by this instrument. * This [a "Stop the 'Bop'" fundraiser] happened at my school. It was called off when people began assaulting radio personnel. ** Similarly, at the school I went to, during break times the older students would do some ridiculous hammy showboating routine by dancing to some outdated teen pop song by Britney Spears and they would subject you to it ''every single day''. The worst was when they played the ''High School Musical'' soundtrack at a hideously loud volume and did an extremely terrible dance routine and attempted to sing along which was SoBadItsHorrible. Also the fitness instructor Scott would frequently subject students to a ridiculously annoying exercise program called Jump Jam where you dance around like monkeys in a cage

to completely outdated music. He subjects the students to this ''every'' Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. It's so horrible that it makes ''Catwoman'' and ''Film/BattlefieldEarth'' look like ''The Godfather''. ** This troper's high school did a Stop the Bop fundraiser at lunchtime for a week. Those of us who went home for lunch (or otherwise left) weren't subjected to it as much as the poor out-oftown kids. * At my high school, they broke out the Marching/Pep Band every Friday. Scared the shit out of me at first, but I got used to it. * This troper remembers watching an episode of a comedy show (I think it was Mock The Week, might have been Have I Got News For You, though) where it was suggested that, to make people not want to return to detentions, they would play Rolf Harris music during the detention. Recently, I brought this up with my aunt and she and I agreed that it would only work if no one going into the detention liked his music. Now, I think a better torture would be to play the High School Musical soundtrack (to boys) or Metallic's most recent album (to girls). ** Opera works better. I know several girls who like Metallica. * This troper shares a fence with neighbours like this. I live in the city, so remember that our backyards are roughly the size of a postage stamp. These neighbours have six--SIX--rat terriers that constantly bark. Qualifying for this trope because their owners encourage it. In the middle of the night. Despite many complaints about the noise bylaw violation, as well as a few yelling matches, they continue to egg the dogs on at all hours of the day and night. * In a Super Hero roleplaying game run by this troper, a group of mercs had taken over a large toy store. One of them, a sniper, went into the electronics section and turned every radio, boom box, and walkman to playing Backstreet Boys songs as loud as possible. Primarily because she (yes, she) enjoyed it, but also so the noise would mask the sound of her sniper rifle with reflecting bullets, and prevent her from being located. The heroes proceeded to smash as many audio devices as possible to stop the horrible noise. * An inversion of the trope (however, YMMV) - the high school in Australia that [[{{Tropers/Crion87}} this troper]] went to actually tried playing Baroque type classical music to the students before school officially started at 09:00. * This Troper once had a noisy neighbour who stayed up until 3am playing music, arguing and generally being a waste of flesh. The response, in a similar vein to the TAOC TEH WODNER DOG song, was [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCvq_Rdkz98 this]] horrific homemade 7 minute barrage of audio. It starts out with deranged, poorly Autotuned singing and gets worse. Much, much worse. * [[@/SabresEdge This Troper]] has a nice collection of classical, neoclassical, and assorted random music well-suited for this express purpose--sometimes having odd tastes in music has its upsides, especially in a hip-hop-dominated suite. He is seriously considering getting a recording of ''Nessun Dorma'' to take things UpToEleven. * [[{{Zero44556}} This troper]] Once used this technique to his advantage, by singing a very loud, very bad, very mangled version of twinkle twinkle little star in a team fortress two match, he got

several people to stop moving because they were too busy laughing, and, guess who usually plays a sniper? * This troper uses this trope to protest his parents, with his music mostly containing bands like KillswitchEngage and Five Finger Death Punch. ---Put some earplugs on and go back to LoudOfWar. ----

LoudspeakerTruck * This troper, stationed in South Korea, has frequently heard the trucks. Nobody stops, but most of us don't understand a word. ** This troper vacationed in the Philippines during a local political campaign season. It seemed that such trucks were ''everywhere.'' *** Variation: In poorer places, people on carts will go by, screaming "BALOT" (duck eggs) or advertising their cleaning services. ** There is a LoudspeakerTruck in South Texas that goes around talking about how we should accept {{Jesus}} into our lives. ** Mexico, apart from Loudspeaker Trucks, also has Big Whistle Carts, usually selling roasted corn or tamales. Sometimes, ''the owners don't even have to resort to loudspeakers!'' ** Also common in Athens, Greece, notably junk dealers who roam the streets advertising their hauling services. ** Apparently this is popular in Asia, because Taiwan has them, too. And they are very annoying. * In Britain, loudspeaker trucks are only permitted for political campaigning and emergencies. One example is played for black humour in ''TheNewStatesman'', where Alan B'stard has sabotaged two of his political opponents' loudspeaker trucks. When both candidates realise that their brakes have failed their amplified political slogans are replaced by screams for help, until [[RuleOfFunny inevitably]] the two trucks plough fatally into each other. * On visiting Jerusalem in the late '90s, [[{{Cidolfas}} this troper]] saw and heard loudspeaker cars urging everyone to act morally by not hanging around on street corners on Friday afternoons.

LoveAtFirstPunch Examples: * ThisTroper took a class for work in how to deal with difficult people. When talking about dealing with "The Tank" variety, the instructor pointed out that you should "be prepared to go to lunch." Which is to say, if you stand up to or at least don't back down from The Tank, The Tank will want to be your friend. ** it's kind of a test, so few people pass by standing up for them selves and those that do are of course admirable. *** Alternatively, it's not a test and they honestly don't like you, and standing up to them just gets you a world of hurt. YMMV with this. * For some odd reason, many of this troper's girlfriends and female

friends started out as sworn enemies. * This Troper's crush on a girl in his Tae-Kwon-Do class originated around the time she kicked him in the head during sparring. ** You too, huh? This troper and his ex got into many, many, heated arguments during their time as classmates in college; a few times it threatened to get violent. And then one day they were buddies, and the next, they were dating. WTF... ** Ditto here. This troper's boyfriend and herself met when she tried to kick him to get him out of her way for one reason or another. He was the only guy fast enough to dodge and kick back. This continued, before they found that they both loved books, were in Speech and Debate, and could actually be nice to people. Friendship eventually became not so obvious to obvious crushes, then dating. * This troper's best friend, who he is closer to than anyone he has ever known, started off their relationship by mocking him and suitably pissing him off. Of course, when she learned that he was also a fan of Supernatural and Gilmore Girls, she immediately forgot that he didn't even like her and became buddies. She continues to have a very obvious crush on him and they once nearly ended up dating. * This troper's best friend in Kindergarten was first met when he asked to see my plastic Scooby-Doo Mystery Machine lunchbox. He was looking at it for a while, and I decided it was too long. I forget if I asked him to see it back, but I smashed his head with it, causing a small cut and a bump. We made up the next day and were best friends. * This troper was rather violent as a child, biting and punching people that were pissing her off. This behavior started in preschool and continued all the way to Junior High. During this time, said troper had a lot of boys crushing on her because she wasn't quiet and polite like most other girls. * This troper's parents. Her father mocked her mother, so she kicked him. They've been married for twenty-five years. * This troper's brother once complained about how a girl at school kicked him in the knee and everyone said they ought to get together. This troper couldn't stop snickering because the first thing she thought of was this trope. ** In a more platonic way, this troper's friend used to throw her stuff out of the window and crack her fingers. All that changed after I revealed I could draw in a manga style. She immediately deemed me one of her bestest frendz evah. *** Wow. That's.. kind of shallow of her actually. *** She was probably trying to elicit good drawings from you and didn't REALLY like you. Kind of like you seeing someone do well in school and being really nice to them for a little while so they can let you copy. *** Guys (Girls?), be nicer! She probably just realized that they have things in common. It's not like things like this never happen to any of you. * A couple of people in my class became convinced that a girl liked me because she antagonized me. She didn't; she was just bored and kind of mean. * This troper used to get into impromptu sparring matches with a kid in her neighborhood, and proceeded to beat the crap out of him on a

regular basis. He then proceeded to develop a crush on this troper. This troper then proceeded to come out of the closet. * This troper started crushing on her classmate ever since she found out he was the only boy who treated everyone equally...which meant he didn't give a damn if you were a boy or a girl; if you punched him, he'd punch you back ''hard''. * [[{{Tropers/Kenzberry}} This Tropette]] and her boyfriend found LoveAtFirstPunch like this: This Troper and her now-boyfriend were on opposite teams in basketball. This troper was told to guard said nowboyfriend. (For the record, this Troper is 4' 10", while her boyfriend is a 6' even.) Now-boyfriend laughs and asks his team if they doubt his blocking skills so much that he was stuck with the shrimp of the gym class. Cue this Troper knocking now-boyfriend to the ground and pinning him. We've been dating for nine months now. * Dear 90% of the boys who have ever had a crush on me, teasing and taunting isn't the way to win my heart and to the other 10% niceness will only make me want to be your friend. Try punching me in the face and we will see how it goes from there. ** So... There's no hope at all? * In his first year in high school, This Troper met a girl that he bickered with constantly and [[BlatantLies insisted that he didn't find sexy when prompted]]. Guess who he was crushing on for about four years. Unfortunately, not only was it unrequited but she constantly had boyfriends... one of which was his [[TheRival rival]]. * This Troper's first impression of his now-girlfriend went something like this... -->Troper: Hi. Nice to meet you. -->[[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Tsundere Girl]]: Hi. (Kicks Troper in shin) -->Troper: (Falling to floor) Something tells me she's gonna be doing this a lot... ** Two years later, [[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BelligerentSexualTension I'm still right...]] ---(WHAM! * CRASH!* ) Ughhh... Woah, would you like to go back to LoveAtFirstPunch with me? ----

LoveAtFirstSight * This troper fell in love at first sight on his birthday. Then he became the girl's best friend only to discover that she fell in love at first sight with another guy. Which (I hate to admit) is a really cute story, since she and the guy were both wearing red and had the same hair color. Then they started to "casually" meet each other every where. They are like polar opposites, but everybody ( including me, sadly) just knows that they were made for each other, except them. They have this on and off, love-hate relationship, which is funny, cause sometimes they act like they really love each other, and others they act like they don't even know each other. What bugs me is that he's actually pretty cool, funny,and way more attractive than me. I

HATE THAT GUY. ** This would sound like a really cute movie, except [[AllLoveIsUnrequited it's from your perspective]]. This sounds like something that happened to me too, but I guess I'm just an unlucky girl. * [[@/{{Min}} I]] fell in love pretty much at first sight. She walked around the corner, [[UnkemptBeauty hair tied up in messy knot]], [[WhenSheSmiles smiling to herself]], and I knew. We both had really screwed-up schedules and had to hang around in a deserted corridor for an hour before they were fixed. There was only one seat, so we started by both leaning against the wall, chatting idly. We realised that we had [[GeekyTurnOn both been addicted]] to ''{{Voyager}}'' since birth, loved the [[BirdsOfAFeather same books, music, art and television]], and by the time the schedule adviser had turned up, we were sitting together on the one seat, still talking. Within a month, I had told her about my NightmareFuel past, which I would usually take years to get around to, and she said the exact right thing. She is smart, funny, thoughtful, kind, and incredibly beautiful; I honestly believe that WhenSheSmiles, she may be the most beautiful girl in the whole world. I adore her. I can only hope that she feels the same way. If you happen to be reading this, JB, I'm so sorry that I'm not brave enough to tell you that I love you in real life. You know who you are. ** [[CanNotSpitItOut That is just tragic.]] If you never tell her, she'll eventually fall for someone else, and you'll be left alone with your regrets. You've got to man up and talk to her, or someday you'll hate yourself for the lost opportunity. ** If I were that girl and I read this post, I would not be touched. I would be freaked out. You are a very creepy person. ** I feel that you should find out if it is mutual. Sorting your feelings to see if you are better being friends is also good. All the best to you troper! * This troper has fallen in love at first sight a couple times, none of them really played out though, unfortunately. * My boyfriend reckons he fell in love with me at first sight. (And the evidence suggests the same) * This Troper saw a good friend of his standing next to this girl, (who's face I couldn't see), so I decided to do my usual 'jump into the middle of the group and scare everyone shitless.' What I wasn't prepared for was her. She was beautiful and it left me stunned midjump. I was flabbergasted with no words coming out of my mouth, gibbering when I should be conversing. My friend then dragged her away from me, and brought her to a guy who he thought would be a perfect boyfriend for her. They went out, and I kept my mouth shut, all the while secretly pining for her, so much so that sometimes that I found it hard to sleep. Then she broke with him 3 weeks later, and my heart leapt. We really got on well, spending more and more time with each other, until when I couldnt bear it any longer, I asked her out for coffee. She said No. * This troper's mother has said this happened when she met my father. They've been happily married for twenty-five years. * This troper used to dismiss this trope, until she was at a friend's house for a party on New Year's Eve, and said friend's neighbor came

over. While not ''exactly'' love at first sight for ''either'' of us, by the end of the night we both wound up liking each other. It is now two days later and we honestly act as much like a couple as our friends who are in ''actual'' relationships. Suffice to say I certainly don't dismiss it anymore. ** Same troper: It is now three days after I met him and we have a date next Friday. *** That is ''so'' sweet. *** (same troper again) It would be ''far'' sweeter if the universe would let me have nice things and if the idiot hadn't suddenly decided I was too quiet and innocent for him. He broke up with me after a month and then apparently decided approximately two days later that he was an idiot for doing so. Unfortunately for him I'm not giving him a second chance. * I do NOW. I saw this guy at the bus, just before he got on, and was struck not so much by attraction (he isn't particularly good looking) as a deep, solid, irrational affection. He sat next to me, and we talked a bit, but my damn rationality/kuudere tendencies got the better of me and I don't even know his name. When I got off, he said I was pretty. Now he's always perched at the back of my mind and the thought of never seeing him again depresses the hell out of me. This all seems awfully pathetic, and I can't help but wonder if I've lost my fucking mind. Wish me luck. -_-; ** The very best luck. * This troper had a love at first sight moment, in elementary school. I end up knowing the girl for ears, until i finally spit it out. at that moment, she turned me down, but we kept our good friendship. then, in high school (2 weeks ago), she reveals that she does love me, and we are now together. i had just finished getting over the loss, and fate laughs and finally says i deserve it. i feel... overwhelmed (but REALLY happy) * I seem to be getting better at this trope with practice or something. The first time it happened, it was with setting eyes on a very cute boy who lived in the neighborhood I grew up in while helping a friend deliver papers. Though it was quite a long time before I finally got the chance to get up the nerve and excuse to talk to him, and finally ask him out. Turns out, however, that we both had insanely incompatible personalities, and the relationship only lasted a month.\\ Next up was the time I was at a Star Trek trivia contest as a contestant, and fell in love with the cute guy keeping the tally on the scoreboard. This fared a bit better, as we found out we had a lot in common and quickly became close friends (and still are). But it also turned out that we had a few clashing problems as well, plus he originally thought he was asexual and eventually turned out to be actually gay (due to a Love at First Sight encounter of his own, ironically enough).\\ Finally, ThirdTimesTheCharm, I joined a Transformers roleplaying group, playing a shy, daydreaming scientist character, and there happened to be another girl playing a different character that had a very similar personality. We decided right then we had to roleplay our two characters interacting regularly, which eventually progressed to

also talking out of character with each other frequently on a more and more regular basis as we found out we had very similar/compatible real-life personalities as well. And while it took us both almost a year to openly acknowledge we liked each other, looking back on some of our old chat logs it's pretty obvious from how mushy we were that we really should have realized we liked each other almost from a couple weeks after we met. We're still together now, two years after meeting and a year after admitting our feelings. * This troper has had many occurences of this. Most recentley this trope was a little delayed since it was a dark night at a party when i met her. I was feeling down(and a little drunk)at a late night party. I was sitting by myself when this girl sees me and invites me outside and ask if i want a cigerette. We started talking and later we becme friends on facebook. A week or 2 later i was invited to Starbucks throug facebook and as soon as i laid eyes on her during daylight, i instantly fell in love with her. I hope to ask her out soon. * [[PenelopeB This troper's]] old English teacher knew she would marry her husband the first time she met him when they were in high school. They are now in their sixties or seventies and still love each other dearly. ---Back to LoveAtFirstSight

LoveBeforeFirstSight * This Christ-following troper has more or less had this since she was little. When she was trying to figure out who she would most like to marry, the only person that she found of any attraction was a boy just a bit older than she that was born with hemophilia. Being that the medical community at the time knew that giving hemophiliacs donor platelets and other blood products [[IGotBetter really helped them out]], he got those regularly in childhood. The same medical community did not know to screen such donations for such highly transmittable things like HIV, and he caught that from one of his blood products. Even when dying from AIDS, his faith in Christ did not waver, and that is why she admired him so much, and would have married him had he asked. Her family and his have been friends before either of us were born, and up until this year, she had never even seen even a picture of him. He passed away before she ever got to meet him or any of his family. His family still does not know quite why she has such an admiration for him, but if they ever read this, they might figure it all out, which is alright with her. * This troper's experience overlaps with FallingForSomeoneNeverMet. His girlfriend and him are head over heels in love, but have never gotten closer than a webcam conversation. The love started before the webcam, though.

LoveChart * This troper did one for his town, only to find that everyone was a whore.

* This polyamorous troper made a chart once with her poly, by the end we had to redo it. Making the chart made the relationships stronger. * This troper's college occasionally makes a Grand Unified Score Chart based on what happened during the year and print it in the yearbook. * This troper uses these whenever she writes a fanfic or original fic. It helps a LOT, she recommends it... ** @/SabrinaDiamond did this too for her story characters, but it turned out to be horribly convoluted, because every character was literally either HideYourLesbians or BoysLove, and with UnrequitedLove and ReincarnationRomance, the whole lovely chart can get [[SarcasmMode a tad complicated]]... * This troper once tried to make a love chart for all his fellow classmates, but got so confused that his brain shut off for a few minutes. Really, it did! * I made one involving everyone in my class. It is confusing and got more confusing when I added in other people involved, like the weird shop owner who is a StalkerWithACrush to my friend. The arrows between the people were colour coded for "hates" "in a relationship" "slept with" "crush" "stalker" "ex" "friends" and "pretends to like but talks about behind back" * [[@/{{MiraShio}} My]] classmates drew a "Love Tree" in the middle of class. It started with *Classmate 1's Name* &#9829; *Classmate 2's Name*, and it just went on and on--involving a couple of people who weren't supposed to be there in the first place--until they gave up. * The LoveChart I made has now filled a whole sheet of paper, and has extended from people in my class to many other people who are connected to us. It contains the tropes ReallyGetsAround and IncestIsRelative (I was going to put KissingCousins but they didnt just kiss) and some FoeYay and it gets very complicated! * This troper makes these with her stories... and once for the real world. * This troper once tried to do this for her friends and nearly went crazy. She plans to try again, but with a bigger piece of paper. Maybe A4. ---Fortunately, [[LoveChart the path back to the main page is a bit less convoluted]].

LoveDodecahedron * This troper (Alice) is dating Bob. Bob is friends with Carrie. Carrie used to date Dylan. Carrie is still in love with Dylan. Dylan still likes Carrie. Alice likes Dylan. Dylan likes Carrie. Carrie and Alice are best friends. Dylan doesn't like Bob. Alice has a (somewhat) tumultous relationship with Bob, but doesn't want to leave a happy relationship for a supposed chance at another, or lose Carrie. In the meantime, Dylan's brother Eric likes Carrie, but Carrie doesn't like Eric, and Carrie's and Alice's friend Fiona doesn't like Dylan, Bob, or Eric but likes Carrie. Confused yet? * [[SnarkKnight This Troper]] was in a relationship with a guy she'd

known for ages. However he FaceHeelTurned. She broke up with him, and he now spends way too much time trying to nettle her, [[HilarityEnsues but he fails at it.]] Meanwhile, her good friend TheChick had broken up with and got back together with TheBoisterousBruiser, and while they were not a couple, he dated another girl, the Tsundere. While This Troper was still with her [[MagnificentBastard ex,]] she was reunited with a friend, [[ManicPixieDreamGirl Manic Pixie Dream Boy]] by his [[ShipperOnDeck Mom.]] He'd had a thing for her for a while, but kept it to himself. After the breakup, he made his move. Around that time came a DitzyGenius, who is also a BottleFairy and [[AllMenAreLustful wants into This Troper's pants.]] Right after him comes along another old friend, the KnightInSourArmor, and he's trying to romance Troper. There's also her best friend's [[StalkerWithACrush brother,]] who's infatuation with her comes and goes, and a [[NerdPhysique guy in medieval literature class.]] To make things even more fun, KnightInSourArmor and [[ManicPixieDreamGirl Manic Pixie Dream Boy]] are quite the HeterosexualLifePartners, and are either oblivious that they're going after the same girl or are pretending to be oblivious for friendship's sake. Oh, and the Tsundere is venting to Troper about what a whore TheChick is. No wonder Troper's best friend (the PerkyGoth) and her boyfriend (the Kuudere) are [[BeyondTheImpossible making graphs to keep up with it all]]. ** UPDATE: Things have got weirder. The KnightInSourArmor disappeared for a while....and then came back with a girlfriend! Apparently he was using This Troper to make another girl jealous. Also, DitzyGenius apparently [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean misinterpreted]] Troper's style of dress and frank attitude, and drew a false [[MyGirlIsASlut conclusion about her,]] and acted adopted a worldly demeanor to match. In reality, he Can'tActPervertedToALoveInterest. * Ok, so A is a guy. B,C, and D are girls. D is dating A, then dumps him when he transfers colleges. Cue first week of classes at the new college. C becomes best platonic friend of A. A and B meet in ballroom dance and really like each other. So A and B start seeing each other, but C has a crush on A, and A stills likes D while also liking B. So A gets confused, dumps B at instigation of C, then is taken back by D. This unlucky troper was B. Ai yi yi...very complicated. * When this troper was in 8th grade... let's see. A, B, and C liked D, D and E liked each other but can't be together due to their religions, F liked G who was D's cousin, and so on and so forth. * This troper's friend was involved in what looked like a "Love W". A liked B, B liked C, C liked D, and D liked E. * This troper's seen a couple of these develop in his anime club. A liked B, was kinda hot for C and D, all requited, but E liked B, F liked B AND D, G liked C and C left A for G, [[SchoolgirlLesbians B liked C]], H liked A, and let's kill this before this troper's head explodes. * 7th Grade made this troper a fool. This Troper was A. Ok so A likes B, B likes A, A lusts over C, C is friends with B, C is unaware of A's existence, B is unaware of A's lustfullness, everyone thinks A loves B. Kind of a LoveTriangle, yet with complications of who likes who. ** Adding on: D and E pretend to like A. C hates A. * That's because you haven't seen MY class: [[GenkiGirl A]] likes

[[TheCharmer B]] and [[JerkWithAHeartOfGold C]], had a relationship with [[DeadpanSnarker D]]. [[DoggedNiceGuy E]] liked A and [[ShrinkingViolet F]] who was in a relashionship with [[AdultChild G]]. However, [[ThreeAmigos G, F and E are best friends]]. C liked [[HollywoodNerd H]]. B liked [[TheGhost I]]. Then [[{{Tsundere}} J]] comes in and falls for B AND [[TheOneGuy K]] but is loved by [[{{Dojikko}} L]] (a male version of this trope). A left D for B and is a very close friend with J. G left F and there's a situation of WillTheyOrWontThey between G and E that became tired of G's undecisions and started to move on A or [[NerdsAreSexy M]]. And L became also interested in A. [[LoadsAndLoadsOfCharacters AND etc...]] [[ They haven't killed each other yet!!!]] Any questions? * OMG! This describes this troper's circle of friends to a T. Made worse, because he himself is guilty of attraction to multiple females within the circle. * Oh jeez, Eight grade was this to a T. A liked B, B liked A and C, D liked C, A, B, E, and G, G didn't like anyone, E liked B...lord, it was complicated as hell. * This troper watched from the outside of one: Everybody thinks A likes B, including B. A tries to set up B with C, and C likes B's best friend D. E pretends to like D so that she can embaress D in public, but D actually likes F. F is bi, this it turns into a Love HumongousMecha. F likes G, and G has had an affair with H. H likes A, who denies her love for D, and I'm not quite sure who is which sexuality anymore. * [[GwenStacyWannabe This troper]]'s {{Nakama}} seems to be in the middle of one, though it's admittedly not as bad as most of the examples on this page. [[{{Meganekko}} A]] likes [[FunPersonified B]], and so does [[TeamMom C]]. B appears to reciprocate with A, but is a MasterOfTheMixedMessage so none of us know for sure. Meanwhile, [[DoggedNiceGuy D]] and C insist that [[SheIsNotMyGirlfriend they aren't going out]], but D keeps acting like C's boyfriend. [[DeadpanSnarker E]] and [[LargeHam F]] both like ''somebody'', but none of us knows who it is (hopefully different somebodies). [[DoesNotLikeMen G]] appears to be asexual, though. *phew* * If [[{{Gerusz}} this troper]]'s high school class would be displayed as a directed graph, in 8th grade a complete Hamiltonian circle could be found (with the exception of some external observers who either weren't interested in any romantic relationship at all, or just not with classmates). Serious amounts of shit hit the fan on a ClassTrip later that year. This troper as an external observer made notes to turn the whole thing in a play later, only to realize, that it would make a horrible one - without notes it couldn't be followed. * This troper's friend in highschool made a chart showing all the relationships and crushes and friendships, then a little arrow was added so you could play roulette and choose someone to hook up up. * This happened at a summer program for music that this troper attended in high school. [[{{Nakama}} Three best friends]] included [[TheOjou A]] (female), [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} B]] (female) and [[TallDarkAndSnarky C]](male). Pretty much every male around, including C (who had a girlfriend), was attracted to A. B was dating a guy back home, but found herself drawn to C. [[TheQuietOne D]] was

much less obvious about his crush on A, but B found out about it later. [[BoisterousBruiser E]] had a very obvious crush on A, but it was clear that A found him annoying. E's friend [[DoggedNiceGuy F]] also liked A, but didn't say anything because he didn't want to incur E's anger. The program was only three weeks, and nobody acted on the attraction, but D drew a flow chart demonstrating everyone's feelings. About a year later, A, B, C, D and E reunited for A's birthday, and there were hints of attraction between B and D, especially when [[DistressedDamsel B]] [[WhatAnIdiot got her foot injured in a door]] and [[KnightInShiningArmor D]] carried her inside. All parties were now single, but C had told B that [[JerkAss he would never date her no matter how single he was]]. E was now convinced that he was in love with A. Again, nobody acted on any of these crushes. Within the next few years, they all ended up dating people outside the group. * Seriously folks, whose highschool '''''isn't''''' like this? ** This troper's wasn't; combination of a single-sex school and a complete and in retrospect perhaps rather odd lack of HoYay. ** Try spreading it out across 4-5 schools. Montana Eastern-B Speech and Drama leads to one of the most perplexing dodecahedrons I've come across. A goes out with B, who just happens to be the sister of C, who once dated A's sister D. Meanwhile, A begins dating F, who had been played on and off for a year by C. C's ex-girlfriend G is currently dating H, who has also dated B and D at different times. I watches cautiously from the outside, as he too has been involved with B and D, and has also helped A out of a steep depression. Now keep in mind most of these people go to completely different schools and only get to see each other at the speech meets. * Think love is complicated? Try {{Diplomacy}}! The dynamics in a game ThisTroper is playing, if you replace "alliances" and "warfare" with "love" and "hate", read something like this: E got married to R in WorldOfWarcraft, but just stopped reluctantly dating the infuriatingly foolish G, who hasn't spoken to E for the past month. Meanwhile, E's also having a torrid affair with I, who's engaged to A, and A and I have this plan to kill T, who's too busy planning the violent death of R to notice. F and E were together last year, but they broke up acrimoniously, and both of them did it because they suspected the other was beginning a relationship with G -- which F turned out to do. Then R and G can't agree who'll kill each other first, while R and A were seen bickering at this dinner for two. I and R are jealous of each other, mostly because of their aforementioned mutual affection for E. Oh, and G and A might be friends with benefits. This is all considered well and normal in the game, as long as somebody dies within a couple of years. * This troper does her best to stay out of these so she can just sit back and be sympathetic while hiding her secret amusement at the ridiculousness. Then she was informed that she was, in fact, now included in the dodecahedron. There was a chart. It was complicated enough to justify someone drawing a chart to keep track of it all. There wasn't any kind of shape, it was just a mass of names and lines, like a spiderweb a spider on speed would build. After seeing such chart she discounted two as not mattering because they merely thought she was attractive, and to be honest who doesn't? She promptly told

the third that he needed to "stop it. Just stop it right now." Fucking spiderwebs. * This troper and his wife are polyamorous. This sort of thing is inevitable, but in a ''good'' way. * The school [[Tropers/{{MiraShio}} Mira-chan]] attends has a LoveDodecahedron that goes beyond the school, meaning it's a bit complicated to draw. This didn't stop two of my classmates from tracing a "love tree" in the middle of one class. It's partly serious. * You go to any high school band and there's a whole mess of this going on. At [[ROFLopadous This Troper's]] high school, it was no different. She (we'll call her M) was best friends with J. She had an on and off crush on J all through school. J dated K, wanted to date P, and also dated M's older sister S. Meanwhile M pined for C for 2 years before W started to steal her heart even though she didn't mean to do it. Meanwhile J's younger sister Q was crushing on W. M's "friend" L always found a way to undermine M with all the crushes she had and eventually dated C and W at different points of time. M's sister S pined for N who was carrying out an illict affair with X who was dating R. J also shared a lot of HoYay with G up to a point that M tried to get a whole betting pool to try to get J and G to kiss (didn't work) and she may or may not have written FanFic about them as a gag. This was all while J was dating S too. All the while this was all happening, we all played music and had lots of fun. So there's that. ** So true. This troper's high school, however, took it UpToEleven with an eerily large amount of SoapOpera drama mixed in. *takes deep breath* The shape starts with A, the bisexual male saxophone player who everybody in the school liked (except the Troper). Said A was in a relationship with B, the quirky, nerdy yet hyper-cute male trumpet player, which this Troper (henceforth referred to as C) had a mad crush on (resulting in no love lost between A and C, though neither A nor B knew the reason). A and B eventually argued and split up, with A shortly afterward dating female flautist D, which sent B into the arms of E, the 1st chair violinist. Naturally, C was crushed that he was not chosen although he was a bit too busy fighting off the advances of F, a nice, but somewhat creepy female clarinetist. C revealed all this to his childhood friend G, a bass player, who revealed that he had a thing for A. About one month later, A and B got back together after A and D didn't work out and B and E decided to remain good friends. At this point, C's crush on B was getting worse, and (in a moment that will shame me forever) started to spread bad rumors about A around the school, only to get called out (privately) by F and G. F realized at this minute that I wasn't what she thought I was and stopped pursuing me. E walked in on this conversation, and, thinking C had just been dumped by his girlfriend, started to comfort him, in which C picked up that E might have developed a thing for C. The next day, C was going to apologize to A... the day A had a complication with his heart medication and...well...that screwed up the whole thing. * This troper is partially in one. A (Supposedly) likes B, who likes A back. C likes A and is good friends with B, so it's morally troubling to go after A since B has a crush on him also. D (Supposedly) likes C, who C has no feelings for him whatsoever. There's no proof that A and

D have crushes on B and C but it is hinted at extremely. I, unfortunately, am C in this case. It's not fun. * This troper has witnessed one. [[DoggedNiceGuy Person A]] likes [[MasterOfTheMixedMessage person]] [[DitzyGenius B]], who also has some sort of [[SlapSlapKiss confusing]] [[OperationJealousy relationship]] with persons [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} C]] and [[JerkWithAHeartOfGold D]], while also falsely being accused of also liking various others. She eventually hooked up with [[WackyGuy person E]], but they broke up a day later, due to some sort of [[PoorCommunicationKills communication problem]]. This drama has apparently been going on since 2005 (Long before this troper started witnessing) and is [[MindScrew much more confusing]]. * Try to keep track: I'm person [[DoggedNiceGuy A]]. I like [[PuritySue B]], but she likes [[ChickMagnet C]], who is dating person [[RichBitch D]]. Throw in B's good friend [[{{Tomboy}} E]], who A once had a crush on, who is bisexual and is being chased by her exboyfriend [[AllMenArePerverts F]]. Also, B dated [[TemporaryLoveInterest G]], who didn't even go to our school, but still liked C. Now she dumped G and is chasing after C again. C likes B, and eventually dumps D. Also, there is now person [[ShrinkingViolet H]], who person A has a bit of a crush on but still likes B. B and C are now offically dating, even though person [[TheScrappy I]] is taking B to the prom, where person I fell in love B. C tried to make B choice, so she chose I but still kind of likes C. Mean while E likes [[GoodOlBoy J]], but [[CanNotSpitItOut is too nervous to tell him]]. A, C, F, and H are still single. Hopefully A and H will have a PairTheSpares moment, but right now, it doesn't seem very likely. * Okay, James Logan High School, while home to numerous Ax Crazies, also has its share of...odd romances. [[NickTheSwing Shaun]] loves Molly, who loves Jake, but Jake has been seeing Anne. Anne is bisexual and has been screwing a girl on the side. [[StalkerWithACrush Sharon]] has a crush on me, and on Sean Chen, who has a gay crush towards me, and there were hints Molly was cheating, and she previously had two other boy friends, both of them I did not get along with. Daniel is crushing on Anne, and has just broken up with Janine. [[BeyondTheImpossible And I have not gotten to the Freshmen yet...]] * I am H.(because screw orderly letters) I have been strongly attracted to S for several years. S was attracted to K. K was once attracted to J, but during the time period this happened, was making plans with S. And so, upon realizing this, H hit it off with J. Fastforward a few months later. K made a decision to drop S, who to reiterate, H was attracted to, for J and J dropped H for K. S was messed up for a while, but my Undying Loyalty eventually won over S(despite a short term person C that was attracted to S and that situation damn near broke my heart), and now she is planning on living with me when we are both able, before taking me and planting me firmly over in the UK as per their immigration laws. K and J are married and expecting, and person C... I dunno what happened to him. Never liked him, never followed up. * [[LiquidUranium This troper]] was once sucked into one of these, to his eternal misfortune. The setting: the Academic Decathlon team of a small Catholic high school (so no {{HoYay}}/{{LesYay}}, [[BuryYourGays

or else]]). Start with [[DoggedNiceGuy A (male)]], who is dating [[{{Kuudere}} E (female)]] - but also shows interest in [[{{Tsundere}} K (female)]], who is attracted to [[RomanticFalseLead S (male)]]. Introduce [[TheOjou C (female)]], who doesn't like anyone, but hates E with a burning passion ([[FoeYay no, not that kind]]) and [[ScrewTheRulesIHaveConnections doesn't have to play by the rules]]. Add in [[ThePollyanna M (female)]], who is [[CargoShip hopelessly in love with her collection of shoes]]. For extra fun, throw in [[ThoseTwoGuys J (male) and P (male)]], who aren't attracted to any of them - both have girlfriends off the team - but will gladly cause additional havoc [[ForTheEvulz just because they can]]. And then, of course, we come to [[TheQuietOne yours truly]] (male), who is increasingly attracted to M but knows it wouldn't last, is rivals with C, and is ''supposed'' to be the guy in charge of stopping these relationships before they start. ** This troper is vaguely confused. If you don't actually think you'd having a lasting future with M, it seems to him that you'd be better off seeing if you can work anything out with C and live the high life she apparently lives where most rules don't apply to her. Since this troper assumes this is highschool, anything long term is unlikely anyway, so you might as well get the most out of it as you can. What's more if they expel you for gender preferences you can likely sue, as this troper is moderately certain that violates a law. It certainly would in the work place. *** With the benefit of hindsight (six months of time to think did wonders for my judgment), I agree that hooking up with C would probably have been the smartest choice if [[IdiotBall I hadn't been quite so stubborn at the time]]. As for the gender preference issue, I didn't actually have a problem with it; I thought my teammates did which they didn't, as it turned out (see below), so it became a moot point. ** The situation ultimately resolved itself: C had E [[PutOnABus kicked off the team]], K broke up with S, A may or may not have slept with K, I nearly hooked up with M before deciding I didn't want to spend my the remainder of my life shopping for shoes, and our coach's blood pressure went through the roof trying to keep it all straight. Oh, and P walked in on all the girls while they were sleeping. * Okay, so in 6th grade, A(girl) and B(boy) were in a relationship, but then broke up. A tried to convince C(girl) that it was because B liked her, and for some reason D(boy) who always really got on C's nerves confirmed this. Then in 9th grade C likes E(boy) who doesn't realize that she exists, then suddenly realizes that she also likes D, who she hasn't spoken to since 6th grade. I am C. This sucks. ** Update! Things have become much more complicated. C has three best friends, F, G, and H (all girls). F was going out with J(boy), who happened to have the same first name as E, just to confuse things. However, J liked G, and G liked him back, and so J and F broke up. J and G went out for a while, but they "sort of" broke up for some silly reason this troper does not understand. Meanwhile, K(boy) confided in G that he liked H and another friend L(girl), but G promptly told everyone since no one really likes K all that much. H was extremely creeped out by this and confided in C. F, G, H, and three other close

friends M, N, and P (all girls) know that C likes E. Of these, C is closest to H and M. M already knows about D, but C can't tell H because they have an inside joke that D doesn't count as a person (long story) and H thinks it's weird to like multiple people. Meanwhile, M is seeing someone without her parents' permission, N has a serious case of unrequited crush for someone in the homeroom she shares with C, and P has just gotten her eleventh boyfriend. It's not really convoluted so much as really, really, BIG, much to this troper (C)'s chagrin. * Eighth and ninth grade were like this in my circle, A B C D E and I are male while F G H are female: In eighth B likes G and G likes B but C pretends to like G while really liking H, H likes C D and E and F likes D. In ninth A likes H but won't say anything, H dated E over the summer and C off/on during the school year, E still likes H but H doesn't like him so E pretends to like F, F likes newcomer I and I likes her back but F has a boyfriend. D moved away and B & G are dating. By grade twelve we all worked ourselves out, thankfully. * Avid troper posting anonymously using public account. Here's my class' LoveDodecahedron: A has a crush on B, B is oblivious to A's love, B is friends with C, C may or may not have a crush on A. Until now it's a classic triangle. But wait!!! D is friends with E, and may or may not have a crush on B, F or G. F is also a friend of B. G is in an official relationship with H, and is friends with E and I. I and J used to be a couple, but they broke. J still appears to love I, but it's not clear. J is friends with K, who might or might not have a crush on either B or F. Thirteen days ago A confessed to B. ... This Troper is A. ** Hehehe... ItGotWorse! J is confirmed to no longer love I and instead is in an official relationship with L. M, a person never heard of before, made a (possibly fake and just-for-trolling) love confession to A. Meanwhile more and more clues point to the theory that C has a (really big) crush on A. * In a developing story, This troper (A) likes B. B likes C, C likes D, and D likes A. Sounds simple, right? Bzzt. D stalks A occasionally, and A and C are friends, as are B and D. And now, apparently E likes D as well, and D may or may not like E back. And naturally, A's other, best friend F also used to (and may still) like D. Oh, the shenanigans. * I have 6 crushes, A is a friend of mine from when I was 8 who is probably considering dating another friend of mine, B is a popular girl who likes him for being a nice guy, but is good friends with a guy who hates me, C is a girl I knew while I was in Chemistry who I made a subtle confession to and received no comment back who is probably dating a bad guy, D is a girl who came to our school last year who recently stopped dating an old friend of mine, E is a girl who just joined our school who I know nothing else about, F is a girl who I knew from Drama who was slightly odd, but very hot. Anyone else confused? I sure am! * This Troper [[http://sakanad.thecomicseries.com/images/comics/0258d5daa46198098610 ed876b1eda2823169204.png would literally run out of letters in the alphabet.]] [[BeyondTheImpossible And obviously, it's only gotten

worse since then.]] * For this Troper, his friendship circle's romance is complex entirely due to one person. This person is a friend of his, a girl. [[UnwantedHarem Everyone she meets falls for her]]. This includes, but is not limited to: almost all of her friends, guys she just met, [[EvenTheGirlsWantHer some girls she just met]], [[LesYay her ostensibly straight female best friend]], more than one StalkerWithACrush and in once case this troper recalls, [[BeyondTheImpossible a guy who had]] [[FallingForSomeoneNeverMet never met her but had heard her described]]. It's not unheard of for couples she knows to both like her. Unfortunately this mess has left her with [[SoBeautifulItsACurse years' worth of relationship neuroses]] which has rendered her [[BrokenBird fairly messed up]] and pretty much asexual. Everyone else has their own little things involving, at most, four or five people, but she turns the whole thing into a LoveDodecahedron just by connecting all these up. * This isn't as much a love dodecahedron as a bromance/love dodecahedron.. I'm madly in love with dude A, who considers me a friend, and considers dude B to be a brother. I'm decent friends with dude B. Dude A used to be in a relationship with dude C, whom I am friends with, and knows dude B to some degree. Dude D is expressing worry over my powerful emotions for dude A, and he also happens to be friends with dudes A and C, as well as me. Dude D and dude E dislike each other; however, dude E is good friends with me, and sort of knows dude A. Dude F considers me a brother and I sort of like him, while dudes A and D find him laughable. Dude F has a huge crush on dude G, who is friends with dude H, who just happens to absolutely despise me. Dudes G and H also dislike dudes A and C-E. Dude I sort of loves me (not romantically according to him), and is in love with dudes J and K; he also sort of knows dude A. Oh, and then girl A is brother-andsister with me. Add the "gay stalkers" in, who fantasise about raping my mother and I, and you've got a lot of confusion. * TheLibby and her friends seem to have one. S is in love with JH and JP while dating T. JH is her ex, who she still obsesses over, and he is dating N, and people ship him with T and L, whos boyfriend broke up with her because he thought she was in love with him. JP is actually dating SL, who is known for sleeping round. V and P are dating, but P is cheating on her with E (her best friend) behind her back, and he also got A pregnant. K, H and B are fighting over D, who is currently with R. I have a chart of it somewhere. * Oh boy...\\ [[{{@/Correctedsun}} This]] [[TheEveryman Troper]] = [[ChickMagnet A]]\\ [[VictoriousChildhoodFriend Current Girlfriend]] = B\\ [[BrokenBird Exgirlfriend One]] = C\\ [[MsFanservice Exgirl]][[DefrostingIceQueen friend]] [[GoodBadGirl Two]] = D\\ [[BiTheWay Good Friend]] = E\\ [[KavorkaMan Jackass boyfriend one]] = F\\ [[AllGirlsWantBadBoys Jackass]] [[{{Casanova}} Boyfriend]] [[HandsomeLech Two]] = G\\ [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} B's close friend]] = H\\

A and B are together.\\ C loves A but is in a bad relationship with F. A is aware of C's feelings.\\ D loves A but this was not revealed until recently. Used to be with G but the relationship ended badly. Now G is with an ex-friend of B. D admits to being atrracted to G, but does not love him.\\ E loves A and kept the crush secret for a year and a half. A has no romantic feelings for E.\\ H loved A but moved on after A and B got together. H was the main reason that B was concerned about dating A.\\ Whew... * In the {{nakama}} this troper's a part of... A liked B. B and A were (and are) "just friends." B liked C. C didn't like B. D liked B. B didn't like D, he only liked C. Along came E, who became good friends with A and B. F ended up joining the nakama with the intentions of getting into B's pants, but everyone saw it and F was no longer welcome in the nakama. E ended up convincing B to date E, which effectively shook up the already-struggling friendship between A and E, but the relationship between B and E lasted about three days. The damage had been done with A and E, and so E left the nakama. A and B grew into closer friends, which made D a little iffy about the group. B met G outside of the nakama, and left the nakama apart from A, which effectively meant just leaving D. Meanwhile, E and F became good friends, and met G unaware that G and B were dating. E, F, and G were good friends until B and G got together which E and F learned about through Facebook. E and F ended up playing the silent treatment against A, B, C, D, and G. D was especially angered about this because D didn't feel D belonged anywhere. A and C never liked D, but A and C allowed D to hang out with them. A and H knew each other, but were never close. E and H became an item. One day, A and D met I and J, but A and D didn't like I and J. D still liked B, A was ready to move on, and K came along. A and K dated twice but they weren't compatible. I and J never heard about the incompatibility, so both turned their attention to D who didn't reciprocate. A, B, E, and H all knew L, and L and A became friends, which B was jealous of even with his attachment to G. B and G are still together, E and H are still together, A, D, K, I, J, and L are single, and C is with M (who nobody mentioned knows) and F is with N (again, who nobody mentioned knows). Whoa. * [[{{LoadsAndLoadsOfCharacters}} OK, try to keep up]]: TheSmartGuy likes TheChick, who is dating MagnificentBastard, who hates The Smart Guy (no FoeYay involved). The Smart Guy also likes FriendToAllLivingThings (who is dating GeniusDitz) and {{Meganekko}} (who also likes Genius Ditz). And both Friend To All Living Things and Meganekko like The Smart Guy's best friend, TallDarkAndSnarky, who likes {{Pettanko}}, who is dating TheQuietOne. And pretty much everyone likes YamatoNadeshiko -- ''[[{{EvenTheGirlsWantHer}} everyone]]''. Also crushing on Yamato Nadeshiko are Genius Ditz, IllBoy and BrilliantButLazy (who is dating Yamato Nadeshiko's best friend, CuteBruiser). Both Cute Bruiser and Friend To All Living Things like Ill Boy. Enter ManicPixieDreamGirl, who has her own legion of suitors, which includes BunnyEarsLawyer, who.......you get the

idea. Seems like [[{{AllLoveIsUnrequited}} a lot of love is unrequited]]. * This troper (A) was dating B, but A was actually more interested in C, which is why A decided she had to break up with B. After that, A dated D for a while, even though she was still interested in C, who was now dating E. E broke up with C and moved on, while D broke up with A and started dating her ex-boyfriend, F, again. Now, C and A are both single, and A can't stop pining for C or D, neither of whom realize A still wishes she could be with them. Even worse, D is now single again, but seems to have no idea A is still interested, and she won't stop hitting on G. G, of course, is involved in a long-distance relationship with her girlfriend H, but they're off and on quite frequently, sometimes with F dating G. Yes, being bisexual makes these things even more complicated sometimes. * Okay, so. A, the girl, loves [[LovableRogue B]], the guy. C, the other girl, loves D, the other guy. Good, right? WRONG! Everyone except those involved can tell that B has a major crush on D. This makes everything very awkward. Then there's D's work buddy, E, who used to have a crush on C. E's ex, [[LoadsAndLoadsOfCharacters F]], still harbors a soft spot for E, but every now and then says something really out there that indicates feelings for C. C, meanwhile, doesn't even ''know'' what to think because before A came along, she and B had a bit of [[UnresolvedSexualTension UST]] as well. And A can't help but notice that D is majorly [[EstrogenBrigadeBait attractive]]... GAWD. * This troper knows a guy [[DeadpanSnarker (V)]] who had a girlfriend, whose name I don't know. [[TearJerker Then out of the blue, she and V's sister died very close together.]] Before that, V had a [[BiTheWay boyfriend,]] [[DepravedHomosexual (E)]]. [[AllLoveIsUnrequited Currently, E still has feelings for V despite being in a relationship with L (not the one from DeathNote), and V has a mad crush on another guy (S), who has a girlfriend]] [[ActionGirl (A).]] S and V are VitriolicBestBuds with a ridiculous amount of HoYay and BelligerentSexualTension on the side, to the point where [[YaoiFangirl even S's girlfriend ships them.]] Meanwhile, [[AdultChild C1,]] a friend of S, V, and A, is in love with this troper's close friend, [[NightmareFetishist T]], who was once creeped out by him, although recently they've become friends. Meanwhile, a girl (C2) loves C1. So in short, in this LoveDodecahedron EveryoneIsBi, AllLoveIsUnrequited, and most of those involved are ObliviousToLove, even though EveryoneCanSeeIt. It's... [[{{Understatement}} complicated.]] I actually had to draw a [[LoveChart diagram]] to work it all out. * So around here it goes: [[LipstickLesbian Min]] loves [[DeadpanSnarker Tempe]], and they're [[RomanticTwoGirlFriendship extremely]] [[ZipMeUp close]]. Min's best friend [[BadassBookworm Zsa Zsa]] thought about dating [[LargeHam Barney]], but gave up when he seemed more interested in Tempe, who didn't like him back. Zsa Zsa has recently discovered that their mutual friend [[CloudCuckooLander Charlize]] is [[BiTheWay bi]], while they were away together at sleepaway camp, although Charlize is dating [[DoggedNiceGuy Arthur]], who Zsa Zsa [[JustFriends sort of likes]]. Charlize fell madly in love with her best friend [[ManipulativeBastard Lili]], and they [[IfItsYouItsOK slept together once]], but although Charlize made an

AnguishedDeclarationOfLove, [[IncompatibleOrientation Lili is officially straight]], and so Charlize dates [[NiceGuy Arthur]] instead. Tempe warned Min that Lili was [[BitchInSheepsClothing batshit insane]], but didn't want to prejudice Min against her without giving Lili a chance to be good. Then Min heard from Charlize that Lili thought that LipstickLesbian Min had a thing for her (Lili), despite Min having met Lili all of four times and Min being really, ''really'' obviously in love with Tempe. Min told Zsa Zsa, who advised her not to tell Tempe, (although Min was dying to), because then she would let on how much she was in love with Tempe. And then Tempe told Min about what Lili had done to her years ago, and while Charlize is trying to persuade Lili that Min isn't in love with her (but can't explain that Min is in love with Tempe, because only Zsa Zsa knows), Min is trying not to seem too repulsed by Lili. Min, Zsa Zsa, Charlize, Arthur, Barney, Tempe, and Lili are all nominally friends. ** And it gets worse...Min has been told by Charlize that Lili told Tempe than Min was in love with Zsa Zsa. Which is plausibly, because Zsa Zsa is a touch-touch person, but also completely screwed up because Min can't tell Tempe that she doesn't love Zsa Zsa without risking letting Tempe know that she loves ''her''. * Viandas. Hoo boy...lets see...Johnson loves Neira, who is manipulating him. Neira is in love with Kincadis, who is in love with [[RescueShip Natasha]] and [[HoYay Jay]]. Neira is in a purely carnal affair with Robert, and Robert likes Ophelia as a friend, but she loves him deeply...too deeply. Sebastian loves Ophelia, but she dislikes him. Nina loves Sebastian, but she is a Loli so she is thought to be much younger than she really is, so he ignores her. And Nina loves Johnson, and has a rivalry with May Lin, who is in love with both Johnson and Terence, who is technically her cousin due to adoption. Terence has a thing going with Darric, who likes Johnson a little too much for brothers. Oh, and Kall raped Natasha and has a big crush on Johnson's father, Frederick, who has thirty wives. * Attackanator. If I remember correctly: [[{{TransparentCloset}}]] secretly loved [[{{AmbiguouslyGay}}]]<me (and yes, I am gay), whilst dating not so [[{{PuritySue}}]], who was cheating on him with [[{{SurferDude}}]], who loved [[{{EventheGirls}}]], who loved and was getting her advances spurned by [[{{BrokenBird}}]]who was also [[{{StraightGay}}]], who was trying to help [[{{TransparentCloset}}]] get out, while he was dating [[{{BiTheWay}}]], who was the sister of [[{{PuritySue}}]] and was dating [[{{SurferDude}}]], who was really good friends with [[{{AmbiguouslyGay}}]], though he hated [[{{BrokenBird}}]]. Now on to the complicated part... [[{{BrokenBird}}]]/[[{{StraightGay}}]] use to be dating [[{{AmbiguouslyGay}}]], but we broke up cause [[{{BrokenBird}}]] proposed and I wasn't ready to be engaged, so I/[[{{AmbiguouslyGay}}]] started to hit on [[{{transparentCloset}}]], making him go deeper in (out of fear, we assume) and turn into an [[{{ArmoredClosetGay}}]]. Two days after that, he walked in on [[{{PuritySue}}]] (his thangirlfriend) doing it with [[{{SurferDude}}]], who was later dumpped by [[{{BiTheWay}}]], who is currently dating [[{{TransparentCloset}}]]/[[{{ArmoredClosetGay}}]], and hasn't talked to [[{{PuritySue}}]] in about a month, which has turned

[[{{EvenTheGirls}}]] into a complete [[{{DeadpanSnarker}}]], making [[{{BrokenBird}}]] hate [[{{SurferDude}}]] cause now [[{{EvenTheGirls}}]] has moved on and making me choose to be friends with either him or [[{{SurferDude}}]]. And yes, there is more, but my head hurts from thinking about how screwed-up my group of friends is... Yeah... and it's STILL ONGOING. * If [[Tropers/LurkingBeneath I]] remember correctly, the LoveDodecahedron my friends were involved in went something like this... J(male) and M(female) were going out and broke up. J and M still liked each other, but J also liked S(female), and M also liked H(bisexual male). H and M started going out and so did S and J. L(female) had a crush on J, but didn't tell him. S and J broke up because S liked a bunch of other men and was ashamed. M and H sort of but not really broke up because of M's lingering feelings for J, but agreed to keep acting like boyfriend and girlfriend. J still liked M but ended up crushing on L as well, who had previously tried to remain uninvolved. J and L started going out, but L knew that J still kind of liked M. M and H would back together, but M still feels guilty for liking J. Meanwhile, H has a lot of gay guys going for him and asking him out seeing as he's technically single. Yeah, I don't know either. (this troper is L) * Alice and Bob are in love. Alice is a high school senior in Texas, Bob is a college sophomore in Florida. [[VitriolicBestBuds Bob befriends a trio of female best friends]]: Caroline, Daisy, and Enid. Alice doesn't mind, because she's pretty low key and her and Bob's love is the sickeningly sweet kind. Now comes the [[LoveDodecahedron dodecahedron]]: ** Caroline [[LoveAtFirstSight has been crushing on Bob since day one.]] [[ObliviousToLove Bob had no idea.]] An affectionate friendship-type hug was [[ItMeantSomethingToMe misconstrued]] as an affectionate love-type hug, causing Caroline to confess her feelings to Bob. Bob gives her the "if only it weren't for Alice" speech, and [[TakeOurWordForIt the two of them decide to remain friends.]] ** Daisy developed feelings for Bob shortly before the Bob-Caroline misunderstanding. Not a few minutes after said incident, Daisy confessed her feelings to Bob. [[FailureIsTheOnlyOption The contents of the conversation remain a mystery.]] ** Enid may or may not have some attraction to Bob. This is most likely a [[UnrequitedLoveSwitcheroo backhanded effect]] of Bob's confession of his previous crush on her, or else a case of extra female hormones increasing Enid's libido. [[OhCrap Either way...]] *** The theory of why the three girls all [[DrinkingtheKoolAid "drank the Kool-Aid"]], as it were, was best described by Daisy: Bob is a NiceGuy, which is the cornerstone of the foundation of what all of the girls are looking for. *** Cookies to the first person to guess whether this troper is Bob, Alice, Daisy, Enid, or Caroline. *** My money is on Caroline. * 1 + 4 flirt and have some sexual tension, also banter like it's a sport, 2 + 4 are officially in a relationship, also spend alot of time together, get along, 1 + 3 are dating, possible relationship there,

though 3 + 2 have the most in common and 1 + 4 have momants of sparkage. And that's without, maybe 4 other people, 3 lusting after 1 and 1 is lusting after 2 others. ** FML. ---> And person number 9 still after 1.... ---Go back to LoveDodecahedron. Unless you'd rather go to ShamelessSelfPromoter instead. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LoveEpiphany * [[Tropers/TabRoxFcc This Troper]] had something like this after a friend asked if she had a crush on another one of her close, [[BiTheWay female friends.]] turns out said troper ''does'' have a crush on that female friend. Figuring this out caused her to have a mini HeroicBSOD, not helped by the fact that she suspects her friend knows * [[Tropers/{{Mhwal}} This Troper]] had a really interesting one of these. I got to know one of my best friends at a concert. I felt ''something'' then, but I rationalized that it was just the excitement of seeing Paul [=McCartney=] live. I ultimately convinced myself that I didn't feel anything for her, and that she didn't like me either. Cue her admitting several months later that she did in fact like me. I went into a kind of calm panic, overthought it, and ended up turning her down because I'd been in denial so long that I didn't know how I felt anymore. I had a couple of other crushes after that, but none of them went anywhere, and I always came back to thinking about my friend and whether I had made the right decision. Finally, three months later, after one last dead-end crush, I realized that my friend would really have been the best girlfriend I could have asked for. The next time I saw her after that, I knew that, deep down, I had really liked her all along, and so I told her so and asked if she still liked me. We've been a couple since then. * [[Tropers/{{Laur}} This Troper]] figured out she had feelings for her [[Tropers/{{Mhwal}} friend]] for sure after staying up watching TaylorSwift on SNL. We watched it simultaneously, and this troper had a hard time keeping her feelings to herself. It got worse on Christmas break, where I had a mild panic attack after overhearing him say we were JustFriends to someone else. Our mutual friend had been [[{{EveryoneCanSeeIt}} teasing us both]] about how we were always hanging out. My friend told me what she had said and I panicked again. Eventually, I gathered up my courage and told him. It took a few months, but we're now together. * [[Tropers/ROFLopadous This Troper]] has this connected with her sleeping patterns most of all. She can tell that she has feelings for someone mostly by how well she's getting to sleep or waking up in the morning. She has a tendency to keep late hours, but yet she ends up sleeping at reasonable times (unless if she's talking to them) and waking up fairly early. It's always hilarious by the third time it

happens because that's when the realization kicks in and the HeroicBSOD begins. * This troper had one with her current girlfriend after 5 years of friendship. At that time she was so unfamiliar with the idea of homosexuality that it TERRIFIED her and she kept it a secret for another year before confessing. Turns out [[IfItsYouItsOkay she felt the same way]] and now I'm pretty comfortable looking into it and realizing I'm gay. :> Yay, progress! ** that pretty much makes the rest of us have a little bit more hope :) *** [[SillyRabbitRomanceIsForKids Speak for yourself.]] [[{{Tropers/Haldo}} I]] recently relised that I have feelings for my best friend of mine after I noticed that I get a little... too excited when she hugs me for my feelings to be just friendship. I am a lesbian, she is straight, [[IncompatibleOrientation end of story.]] [=ROFLapadous=] just got lucky. Incidently, my friend is one of the only people I'm out to, so now I'm terrified that she'll figure it out DX *** EDIT: Same troper as the above here, I think this might be a subversion, as I ran into a far more intense crush of mine when school started again, and my possible feelings for my friend paled in comparison. I'm not really sure how I feel about my friend at this point... * [[Tropers/{{Phoenixor}} This Troper]] only realised how he felt about his best friend when a mutual friend joked about shipping the two of them together. Cue several months of trying to get to grips with his emotions and finally realising that he felt more than just friendship. He still hasn't told her, wanting to know how she feels about it first. The situation is further complicated by the fact that she lives on another continent, so contact is purely virtual. Here's hoping though. * [[@/{{MiraShio}} I]] got mine with the help of a coin toss. But it wasn't about which side showed up; it was about which side I wanted to show up when choosing between two people represented by the sides. * This Troper realized this when some friends and myself were talking about our most memorable moments. I had been talking about when myself and my best guy friend were little and how kind he always was...When I re-told the story to my friends, it made me realize how long I've been in love with him..... * This troper had the odd situation of having a love epiphany about a friend of hers at the same time she had a huge crush on another. Neither worked out. * This troper had this happen when she realized that she was, in fact, in love with that [[BrokenBird one]] [[WhenSheSmiles girl]] she would do anything for. To this day she refers to it as her "oh, ''shit''" moment. * This troper has gone through this twice; in both cases, the crushes had already passed, so it was more of "I had a crush on him, didn't I?" than anything. * This tropette had a semester where she would share a lunch with a few of her guy friends. It was always pleasant and it helped to let off some steam from the class that I was attending (a sewing; with

some people that got on my nerves). Anyway, one of my guy friends, who I've known for a long time, and I hung out all the time at that lunch and we would walk and talk with one another on the way back to class. Needless to say, when we parted ways (at a hallway that splits to our respective classes), and I walked into my class, it hit me like a ton of bricks. * This troper had one of these at work, one day. I was on break with a coworker, texting the girl I like at the same time. After finishing a text and closing my phone, my coworker looks at me, and goes "You know, it's funny how you smile like that when you're texting." Cue near meltdown. * This Troper had a Love Epiphany while intoxicated and told her BFF that she loved him. The utter shock left her to tell everyone else she loved them too. too bad the story doesn't really have a happy ending * Three of varying degrees have happened: ** Actual love. This was with my ex. We sat under stars, a few feet from a graveyard, in a field. We just sat joking aaround and talking. When asked later, we both mentioned that's when we fell in love, or at leadt realized we were in love. Unfortunately, things didn't work out in the long run, as the title of Ex shows. ** After several people joking about shipping us, I stayied up all night and missed a final exam (still passed the course though) to talk to her, I realized how much I cared. Not love. Not even close. But moreof a Crush Epiphany. Who knows how it'll go... ** I met her accidentally. We hung out all day and really hit it off, despite me originally trying to get to know her friend who was with us mainly (long story). Later that week we had a romantic dinner, (or as romantic as two poor college students can be. Whatwith kettle cooked noodles, elctric candles, and capri sun) with dancing and all. We had a few similar nights, sometimes with our favorite movies added. Of course she was in love with someone else, a long distance relationship, a fact I had known from the start. I knew I was very much attracted to her. Hell, since she lived too far away from college she even asked to come home with me for Easter dinner. Suffice to say, had she been single when we met, she certainly wouldn't have been for long, or at least I believe so. But lately I've been questioning how strong I feel about her. My friends are starting to point out a lot, even saying they think I love her. She makes me feel...calm, safe, I can't explain it. Like how I was when with the aforementioned ex. It was saying the exact same words of the previous sentence to my friends, that I realized whatever I may feel, it most certainly is more than a simple crush. * Curious if faking one of these is a good way to admit an alreadyexisting crush. You can act like you just realized it so you don't look like you [[CannotSpitItOut couldn't spit it out]]. Problem is, you either have to set it up with somebody (and that reflects badly on you if they FaceHeelTurn and tell them about it) or wait for random chance. * Happened to this Troper. I met a girl almost eight months ago... I clearly fell in love with her, but I never came to terms with it until recently. I never admitted to her, even though it was painfully obvious. Even she knew, but I never told her. So a few months ago, our

friendship kind of fell apart... If I had admitted that I liked her beforehand, it would've... helped, somehow. The falling out part, well... I just happened to end up being clingy, followed her around, essentially I became a [[DoggedNiceGuy unfortunate, Dogged Nice Guy]]. She got sick of me. She hasn't spoken to me since. ...Until recently. My feelings for her have not changed since then. Of course, I deeply regret my dogged nice guy actions, the clinginess, creepiness, and the desperation. I've since changed that aspect about myself, but I still have feelings for her... and recently, I had realized that. And I had realized why I fell in love with her. Since I have not talked to her in months, I'm doing my damned best to try and make an effort to talk to her more, but to show her that I won't be as clingy or creepy as I was before. Though those feelings for her are still there. A total epiphany, I fully accepted and realized that I was definitely in love with her. Maybe it's love, maybe it's infatuation, maybe I'm just crazy. Either way, I still have those feelings for her. Which begs the question... What if she asks me if I like her? What do I say? What if she already knows? That I would have to figure out... * This has happened to this troper three times. Twice with the same guy, but both guys her best friends. She knew she has crushes on them after around a month, but as she sat in the grass or on the bus thinking about them, she realized her true feelings. It was like a slap in the face. Now, the one that received a LoveConfession twice...well, the first time was a few months after she met him and had broken up with her previous boyfriend. She knew he didn't love her back, but still confessed and was clearly turned down, but the [[BetterAsFriends friendship was fine]]. This troper got rid of the feelings. Flash forward a year later, she is [[SleepCute napping with her friend on a couch]], his scratchy face on her shoulder, and click. LoveEpiphany, again. She then went home and cried for quite some time because she knows that he has a blatantly obvious crush on two other girls and only considers her JustFriends. This troper had and at least monthly has HeroicBSOD over this fact, but since she believes LoveisaWeakness, she refuses to tell him again. * So me and my friend were talking at break, and I started talking about her older brother. She noted that I really liked to talk about him and it just hit me like a train that I had feelings for him. I just turned bright red. Then at the dance, he asked me to dance with him. So now every time we pass him my friends like "Nudge nudge" and I just blush like crazy.

Could you actually want to go back to {{LoveEpiphany}} after all?

LoveFreak * [[{{Tropers/Joerc45}} This troper,]] full stop. He's

[[ShrinkingViolet very shy,]] but if you get to know him, you'll begin to learn about and understand his philosophies on humanity. He loves to give everyone a chance at friendship, extends his hand to those in need, believes in {{The Power Of Love}}, loves justice, peace, and honor, tries hard to always be in the best of moods, and can't seem to [[EasilyForgiven hold a grudge for the life of him.]] Hilariously enough, his Tarot arcana is The Lovers. ^_^ ** You must be my long lost twin... ** Well unless if you two are my quadruplets... * This troper was told by one of her most [[HatesEveryoneEqually misanthropic]] [[KnightInSourArmor friends]] that she was one of the sweetest and most unassuming people he had ever met. She tries to live up to that compliment every day. * My first goal in life is to serve my country out of a sense of duty. While, the only personal pursuit I can claim is to find the One and live Happily Ever After. * This troper is an odd mix of this trope and "Hates everyone equally". It depends on my mood. Love, peace, fun, happiness! Yay! Let's all celebrate by returning to {{Love Freak}}. <3 :)

LoveMakesYouDumb * [[{{Tropers/Dysfunctional}} not me]] but my friend went back to her abusive ex(my former best friend) recently, even though she knows about his plan to leave her in november for another girl. apparently love makes you very dumb, and just for reference the abuse is what killed our friendship and made us enemies. * Not me personally, but I feel that I should regale a close friend's story. He was taking a high level chemistry class. He got a D. Not because he didn't study, but because he was smitten by the teacher's student assistant. Every test day he couldn't focus on the test because she'd be right there, administering it. Happy ending, though. Seven or so years later he has completed his medical degree and they're married with 2 kids. * This Troper is the sheer epitome of this trope. Our tragic hero, lets call 'em Siggy, has been in love with this girl for four years at least. He has proceeded to promptly ignore attentions from other women for about four years, constantly be jerked around, and pretty much be at her beck and call - all while clueless to the fact she might actually know his feelings. Recently our hero revealed his true feelings, finding out she did indeed know all along, and that he was just "The Friend". Came to a head when the Hero insulted the Love Interest's Love Interest, but he has resolved to Nobly Sacrifice his Love and kick the guy's ass should he ever fuck up. Still hopelessly in love though, much to his friends' chargin. * This troper dropped a class, saying that it would be too difficult for him. Though this was partially true (as he would find out later), the real motive for this was so that he could take it with a classmate he liked next semester. Then he re-added the class, deciding that now his semester was [[ItsEasySoItSucks now easy and would end up sucking]].

* Why isn't this page about ... 2 and a half miles long? Are people embarrassed? Eh, I'm dumb enough anyway, so I'd probably fill a third of that with my stories. * {{Tropers/DesertDragon}} here. My ex ''skipped work'' the first weekend we spent together and was fired as a result (I would have never agreed to it had I known. After getting fired, he told me he was laid off). But then again, he was a total moron in general. I myself fit this trope in how I put up with his shit for ''8 months'' instead of dropping him after 8 days. * This troper is cynical enough to qualify. He spent the better part of two semesters befriending and trying to win the heart of a party girl. Plenty of late-lunches on him, offers of and uses of his aid for studying, two denied birthday-related dates, some unfriendly gossip, and a $70 birthday present later, this troper has almost managed to give up on the idea. But is still using her as a motive to take out a math course in the summer and then take a higher level economics course next semester so that she has a competent study buddy. In this troper's defense, the math course was going to be taken sooner or later anyway. * This troper is this trope incarnate. While his personality is pretty much untouched when he has a crush, that does not apply towards his love interest at the time; he becomes dumb towards her, all the time. * [[Tropers/XenusOregard My]] grades and speaking skills suffered spectacularly in high school, mostly due to [[CutenessProximity the proximity of my crush]] at any given point, so love not only made me dumb, but gave me the appearance of being just plain stupid to boot. * This troper managed to: fail an important exam so her crush wouldn't think of her as a loser who actually studied (yeah I know, I made it up with the next exam and a retake of the first, but still..), missed the final train back to her home one night so she could TALK to him for a bit longer, stopped giving in various homeworks etc- thus dropping several grades- so she could spend her entire time at home trying to talk to the boy on various instant messengers. This troper has realized the [[CharacterDevelopment error]] of her ways and is now desperately trying to make up the grades she lost. Stupid young love. * This troper, who is usually a pretty coherent, focused person, gets completely lost around her love interest. She's used such lines to try to cover this up as, "I'm sorry, I've been popping painkillers like crazy today and they're making me a little loopy, anyway..." * This troper to a T, both in the traditional 'Love makes you act like an idiot' and the more amusing and annoying 'Love gives you terminal foot in mouth disease.' * This high schooled troper has a massive crush on his English teacher, who notices a sharp contrast between my literacy, wit and good grades ''on paper'' and when I actually have to speak to her for anything. Another similar, embarassing occurence was him having a crush on the only girl who regularly hung around with his group of male friends, and thereby being the only member of the fairer sex he spoke to on a regular basis - I couldn't get a word out half the time, and as such, my friends assumed I simply couldn't talk to girls at all. Ugh. There was also that one time my grades really started slipping when I ended up in a relationship over the internet with this

chick who was in a different timezone, leading me to stupidly neglect proper sleeping time in order to speak to her. * [[Tropers/LordBandanaDee I'm]] happy to say I'm probably the only person I know who is unscathed by the love-struck stupidity. Crush around? Cue calmness. Crush not around? Cue silly yet sophisticated retartedness. Ironic opposite. * This troper will do absolutely retarded things in the pursuit of love, for instance he put a poem he wrote that goes as follows: ** I wish I could offer you more than I have ** I can't protect you from the wrath ** of those who would cut you down and change you ** I can't swear I would do ** Anything for you, but I'll try ** and fail and fail agian till I die ** but know I would never give up ** in any situation, down on my luck ** I can't say I'll save you, but I'll be there ** ready to rip and tear ** and do everything I can ** but I realise I am only a man ** and you deserve so much more than I can give ** but mark my words I'll try for as long as I live. ** into a christmas card of the person the poem was written about, this troper really had no idea what he expected to happen, but it didn't end well. * This troper has quite a few stories, and she's not afraid to share 'em if it's for the good of the trope. As a straight A student (and something of a [[Genius Ditz]]), she generally never acts that stupid. Cue [[TallDarkandHandsome Tall Dark and Handsome]] senior in her marching band, who she meets when she enters the high school (as our high school has sophomores, juniors and seniors only). He brings no ends of trouble, including, but not limited to: ** One friend asked me what time it was, as his back was turned and he was trying to write down the current time for a project we were working on. This Troper's crush walked past and stood a little ways away from her, and she couldn't focus, so she temporarily forgot how to tell time. ** This Troper trips countless times whenever he passes. Especially when she's trying to look cool. ** Not to mention trying to impress him by buying a skateboard with her allowance for that much, which she proceeded to put in her closet and never take out again... ** ...as well as, totally irrationally, break out into dramatic sobbing when she thought that he had a girlfriend, which later turned out to be completely stupid because he's nearly asexual and hadn't had a girlfriend in years. Yes, folks, love makes you dumb. But in This Troper's experience, it's still a good feeling. * Definitely this troper. Judgement impeded to the greatest degree that it's been in all of my life. Kind of sold out one of my friends in the process, but he's a much better person than I am and has not

only forgiven me but looks back at the whole thing with laughter. * Luckily enough, this was averted by [[{{Tropers/MiraShio}} me]]. I got into this tumultuous LoveDodecahedron back in November, the same time the third grading period began at school. Things got more and more romantic as time went on, but until the end of the school year I was able not only to keep my grades the same; I improved them. * I'm a {{deadpan snarker}}, {{Crazy survivalist}}, Memetic {{Career Killer}} and, as I'm told, able to make a conversation from anything. Cue girl with bright red hair, glasses, a sexy secretary fashion sense and generally every other attribute that's Fetish fuel to me bar being a catgirl enthusiast (that's more my ex's forte, but that's a whole other story in itself, I instantly become a {{shrinking violet}} as my speech centers in my brain shut down in the immediate vicinity of her. Now everything I try to break the ice (including buying her a locket for her birthday) end up making me look like a {{stalker with a crush}}. * And now for ''The Amazingly Inane Crush Escapades of [[{{Tropers/Odd1}} 0dd1]]''!! *Price is Right theme plays*: ** Who says TV ruins kids? I do. As a child, I'd always act shy when near a crush because TV shows told me that that's what happens to people with a crush. You heard me: ''I was acting shy purely for the sake of being shy.'' ** Seventh grade, right in the middle of my "Pretentious Poet" phase: I had a crush on a girl who could only be described accurately as Category 12 CloudCuckooLander. One day, I decided to write a love poem (>_<) and stick it in her locker (Digression: It was a tad hard to get it in there, for some reason--I think something was blocking the grate I had to slip it through). She found it (assumedly) the next day. Somehow, [[HilarityEnsues everyone found out that someone had slipped a poem into her locker]] (how is beyond me--it was a huge school, with hundreds of people in my grade alone). My then-best friend and wannabe motivational speaker ("d00d j00 h@ff 2 f@c3 ur f33rz!!!!") came up to me during lunch and asked me if I wrote it. After a moment of hesitation, I said yes, and he promised not to blab. Twenty minutes later, he told me that he blabbed, giving the pitiful excuse of peer pressure. (HOW?!?? JUST SAY "NO I KNOW NOTHING!!!", YOU IDIO-) Later, in a class about nothing, I noticed someone saying something to Crush Of Mine and vaguely gesturing in my direction. I pretended to be working on the nothing we had to work on as she looked my way. Long story short, after that single day of commotion about that one little thing, everybod--EVERYBODY forgot about it by the next day. ...So...yeah... Also, if I was just going to duck away when she found out, [[FridgeLogic why did I even do it in the first place?]] Because [[TitleDrop Love Makes You Dumb]] and saps your sense of common. ** I've gotten better about this in recent years, though. I can't really think of anything really big coming out of any crushes since then. (Including relationships. Zing!) ** And recent developments (read: me growing some backbone) have allowed me to finally see a crush through. I now have a girlfriend! * This troper has a guy friend. Said friend gets all A's, takes Calculus BC, and went to a leadership conference in Washington this summer, all while earning finals at Debate competitions. Okay, now in

the presence of his crush, he can only mumble and scuffle the floor with his toe. The closest thing to a witty remark to charm her was "Uh, weather nice huh right nice weather?" * This clinically depressed troper has been pushed to a new low by girl troubles and now no longer gives two shits about school and is headed for failure. Dunno if it counts, but meh. * This Troper has walked into walls, lost track of a conversation while speaking to someone, forgotten where she parked her car, said ridiculously moronic things, and to top it all off has answered a phone call from a guy she liked with the phrase "WHARRGARBL" for reasons that even escape her. The only minor subversion is that her sense of wit goes up significantly. * This troper actually followed a girl into a homeschool group. He had been considering it, but she started homeschooling and joined the group so he made his mind. Turned out that, while the creepy conspiracy theorists homeschoolers were fun, he wasn't getting any work done. So he went to public school a semester late and got put in the dumb classes. Now she's starting to show obvious signs of affection, but he doesn't like her that much anymore. Now, he's hopelessly in love with a girl that he can't date because she's taken and barely knows him that well. Why? Because she's nice and her perfume smelled good. Sense that one-on-one conversation we had, he can't get her out of his mind very much. And that's not it - now, he goes to the school football games and wanders through the crowd just to see where she is. And when he sees her while we're waiting for our rides outside the school, he tried to start up a conversation with her, overthinking it to try and come up with a good joke. It's so dumb. Most "jokes" are just lame, like when her and her friend were wearing shirts with E and H and I asked if they were Canadian. I'm like a pathetic loser trying to be clever and failing - something I'm normally good at. Pretty girls need to stop being nice to me. * This troper WAS an A student. Until she met this lovely man, who's in nearly all of her classes. now she can't stop thinking about him long enough to relise that her grades are slipping. I've started to get B's and C's now. the weird thing is, his grades are slipping too. makes you wonder. * This troper dated a lovely, amazing girl for a short summer. It ended before it could really start, though, because she decided she was in love with her ex-boyfriend, even though he'd abused her physically in the past. They got back together for a while, but it dissolved like always. Even worse, I know I shouldn't want to be with her after how it ended (and because I'm with a wonderfully nerdy guy now), but now that she's single again, she's all I can think about. * I'm... an interesting case. When it comes to dating, I'm surprisingly savvy. I can be the devoted boyfriend, know how to get in a girl's good graces. I'm not bragging, honestly, it makes me feel guilty. So I go out of my way to be a fool for someone else, rather than trying to be in control. I'd rather love make me dumb than risk the alternative. * I have a friend who was really...absent-minded while dating his wife. One occasion deserves a special mention. I was in a vehicle with him, the girl, and a few other people. He had to get out to do

something, and a few seconds later she got out too. He got back in before she did and STARTED TO DRIVE AWAY! So busy thinking about her that he didn't even notice she was gone...talk about ironic. * Subverted by one of my besties first boyfriends. He ignores her once, he ignores him for 8 weeks afterwards. She got him down to a fine art. She ain't stupid. She learnt from my complete stupidity/dumbness/blindness/paraniodability and she's so much better at love then me! I was worried, but now I know she's got her brain intact. * [[{{Tropers/VF1SValkyrie}} This Troper]] did something very, very stupid. He essentially ran away from home, to live with his (now ex) girlfriend. Literally, ran away. He left a note for his parents, took some clothes, and drove off. Said ex-girlfriend lived roughly an hour and a half away. Luckily, he was able to come to his senses, but not before his GPA dropped like a stone, something he's still trying to fix. * This Troper becomes monumentaly stupid when he has a crush. Among other stupid things he did, it includes ranting for hours on MSN with her about his neurosis (making him look like a complete emotional wreck), becoming completely incoherent or MUTE around her, and trying to fix those things... by looking like an arrogant jerkass (this troper is also Schizophrenic, and bipolar by proxy) * Played straight with a friend of mine. If you had access to her grades, you could track when she had a boyfriend by the fact that her grades took a nose-dive whenever she got into a relationship, then climbed back up when she got out of it. ---Go back to LoveMakesYouDumb, unless you're too much in a daze to. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LoveTriangle * I had a crush on a female friend who was dating my male friend. * [[{{Dinru}} This Troper]] was once involved in one. (Names [[AliceAndBob changed]] to protect the innocent) I liked one guy, Alan, another dude, Bob liked me. Alan and I were JustFriends, and I barely even knew Bob. This went on for about six months, until finally I told Alan how I felt. He liked me after all, [[RetCon Retconing]] Bob to be a RomanticFalseLead. ** It's only a triangle if Alan liked Bob, otherwise it's just a straight line with 3 nodes. *** Under TriangRelations, it counts. * This is a rather interesting one. I (A) became deeply attracted to a girl (B) during my Freshmen year of college but she was dating Guy (C). After I met her boyfriend, he and I started to become good friends to the point that it became something of a bromance. At the same time Girl became so fond of me that she decided we should be girlfriends (at this point I should point out that I am male and straight, but I am really really effeminate and have been described as androgynous before). So to sum up this triangle: A loves B and has bromance with C, B loves C and considers A to be a girlfriend, and C

loves B and has bromance with A. It's closest to a type 4 when it comes to romantic love but in essence I think it's more like and 8. * [[{{Pita}} I]] am currently in one, although a generally uncomplicated one that might just be TriangRelations. I'm absolutely, madly, in love with a girl who, for pretty good reasons, can't be in a relationship now. LoveHurts. A good friend of mine, who recently moved away, was her boyfriend, who she loved (on his side, though, it was probably just lust), until he cheated on her. Now, he's either in love with her or thinks he is, and has been sending her messages that he loves her and would like to go back to her when he's back in the area (which will be in a few months). A part of me is completely sure that he'll be rebuffed, but another part is terrified that something might happen between them, in which case [[LoveMakesYouEvil I may have to murder them both.]] * This troper was involved in a love triangle a while ago and didn't even realize it until after the fact. Going by attraction only, I was a basic 4a, although incorporating loyalty lines would make me a 6a or possibly an 11b. * This troper is currently involved in one, in a weird sort of way. Names hidden (duh), let's just say I, Bob, like Alice. Alice liked me for a long time, and only recently did I realize I like her back. But she got scared by the prospect of such a serious relationship and is now in what she sees as a less serious relationship with Chris. Unfortunately, Alice still seems (trust me, there's a darn good reason to think so) to like Bob (me). I sort of know Chris, well enough to know he's a good guy and will probably treat her well. Suffice to say, it's a dumb triangle. It could best be classified as a type 7 under TriangRelations since I don't know Chris very well. * This troper is currently involved in one...and it sucks. This troper liked B since 1 or 2 months,but B had a girlfriend. Girlfriend,who This Troper will call C,broke up with him. He was depressed since it was a long relationship. After 1 or 2 months,B likes This Troper. Then C wants him back,but he loves both C and This Troper,so B can't decide. * Mine was... strange. It started out as type 8: I was best friends with Charlotte, and she was together with Alex who was another friend. They were polygamous, but I never cared since they didn't talk about it much. At some point we entered type 12, with them trying to get a type 11. They kept amplifying Alex' attractiveness, Charlotte hinted that she didn't mind sharing him, she got annoyed whenever I pointed out a flaw in my otherwise praise of her art and fics, Alex would regularly give me compliments that at times got strange for being just friendly ones, I got treated like an idiot when I didn't agree with their opinion... There's a ''lot'' more, most that only got obvious in hindsight but I don't want this to get too long. Basically they expected me to magically become attracted to Alex so we could enter a relationship, and I was supposed to just agree with Charlotte no matter what and never think for myself. I suspect me not complying and putting my foot down on some things is the reason why they haven't contacted me in a year. * This troper's friends were involved in one, say Anna, Billy, and Cheryl. It goes like this: Anna and Cheryl liked Billy, who is

Oblivious to Love, and perhaps with an addition of Chaste Hero too. Things get complicated because Anna and Cheryl are best friends. What's really memorable though, is the way they decided to wrap things up. Anna and Cheryl both confessed to Billy, consecutively during lunch break, with Billy refusing them both. * ThisTroper and another guy both happen to like the same girl. She is oblivious to my crush and doesn't like him, so it's a type 3 triangle for us. * This troper has a nice little type 4 going on, of the aware but doesn't reciprocate variety. She insists we face it and talk about it, though, which is an interesting extra spin, I suppose, and somehow the friendship is (for the moment) pretty much completely intact. Anyway, whatever, [[LoveHurts love hurts]] and [[LoveMakesYouCrazy makes you crazy]]. * This Troper has a type 5 LoveTriangle going on. He (A) has feelings for one of his best friends (B), who, in turn, still has feelings for a person that she had recently broken up with (C). C is completely unaware of A's existence. If his suspicions are correct, this turns into more of a "love Y-shape", as he thinks that he another of his best friends may have feelings for the same person. * I found myself in a type 6, which I'm trying to resolve. Basically I really like my best friend's girlfriend and would like to know her better, but out of loyalty to my friend I have to control my emotions. The fact that the girl in this is open to the idea of poly relationships makes a type 8 possible, but I'm not exactly holding my breath. ** If anyone cared, it resolved itself, not in the way I was hoping, but I'll live. * This troper is somehow involved in two separate triangles... Okay. Here goes: (D)is a boy who has fancied me obsessively for several years. I used to like his best friend, (S), who years before also liked me back. Now I like (S) again, (S) likes me, but (D) likes me, and no one is willing to do anything because we're all far too loyal to one another as friends. Then we have Triangle 2: I fell in love with a boy, (H) and we dated for a year. After realising how much self-respect I had lost, and after time, I stopped loving him. Then, I started talking to his best friend (M) about the philosophical undertones of Inception, and we've been talking a lot. So (H) likes me, and I like his best friend (M), who probably doesn't reciprocate, whilst (D) likes me, I like (S) and (S) might like me back. I should go and write a soap opera... * This Troper was recently in a type 1 from TriangRelations. I fancied (P) and (S) for some time. I understood why I liked (P) because she's pretty, smart, cool, geeky and overall, just a close, good friend. But I have never understood why I like (S) at the same time at all. She was ok looking but annoying and not that close to me. I decided to wait it out and see if I'd drop either or both, and now I only like (P) like that. I might ask her out if these feelings turn out to be genuine. * Currently, I'm involved in two. I'm interested in my ex-girlfriend A, but she's still fawning over her ex-boyfriend B. I'm also head over heels for C; he's more interested in his ex, D.

** This troper was also involved in one in the past: Guy A liked me, but I didn't even notice until much later because I was blinded by my interest in Guy B. * This troper is in a Type 1 currently, between a school friend (R) and one I met on an Internet chat forum (P). While for most of last year, R and myself could have been considered nigh-inseperable, we stopped talking for multiple reasons I will keep to myself (none of them bad, just private). I keep trying to talk to her again, but keep failing to mostly due to my own shyness and tendency to act like an idiot. With P, on the other hand, I've known her for about as long, is as close to her as I was with R, and we still talk regularly, though I'm not sure how we'd be able to maintain a relationship without even knowing what the other looks like, or how I'm sure neither of our parents would approve of an Internet relationship. * Type 10 currently happening in this troper's life. Well this troper thinks it is anyway. * Mine's quite complex for a 3-sided Triangle (redundancy intended). I, Cliff, have a [[HeterosexualLifePartners best friend]], Brian, who dates a girl, Annie, who happens to also be a very good friend of mine, and I already knew her when they started dating. I(Cliff) always had a crush for Annie, but [[IWantMyBelovedToBeHappy I kept this feeling secluded because I didn't want to harm their relationship and my friendship with both]]. However, they broke up one day, despite still liking each other, since both wanted freedom for a while. On the same day they broke up Annie went to my house to talk about it, and we happened to make out. It was fuckin' awesome for both, and I discovered she also has always had the hots for me but hid it for the exact same reasons. However, I felt terrible for Brian because when I talked with him about what happened, he had quite a BSOD, and then realized how much he really loved Annie. This was mutual, and [[EarnYourHappyEnding after some conflicts and uncertainties from all sides, we happily accepted it since both me and Annie realized that what we felt for each other, apart from the deep friendship, was only lust]]. Now their relationship is as strong as ever and my friendship with each of them too. We like to metaphorize that their relationship was like an old, cranky building: Trying to repair its structure wouldn't do much, so the best solution was to demolish it and build a new one in place. I happened to be the dynamite. ** Oh, and a quite bizarre addendum: Now I'm dating Daniela, Annie's best friend! * This Troper is currently the B in a case of Type 5 (possibly soon to become Type 4) TriangRelations. Basically, she [[EveryoneCanSeeIt (very obviously)]] likes her (male) friend, who may like her back but may want to stay JustFriends. As far as I know, neither of us has ever dated anyone else (we are both high school freshmen). Meanwhile, another friend, a sophomore who is something of a LeisureSuitLarry with a reputation for going after freshman girls, has begun making equally obvious moves toward her, asking her out for supposedly nonromantic (or at least, not officially said to be romantic) outings, which this troper [[WhatAnIdiot keeps accepting]]. Lately he has started to try to be romantic more and more, meaning as of now, this troper is kind of avoiding him. As a complete outcast with few friends

and no boys ever looking twice at me at my old school, this is definitely coming off as BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor - frankly, I'm sick of it. ** This Troper confesses that you, however unlikely, remind me of a female friend of mine. This concerns me, honestly. I hope that you're who I think you are, and not a certain person. * This Troper was B in a Type 3, Love interest was A and her childhood friend was C. B (Troper) and C both love A. A isn't sure who she loves, few years later C asks A out of the blue to marry him. She thinks about but rejects him because she realises that she loves B. A & B get engaged and have twins, C ends up a UnluckyChildhoodFriend. * This troper was involved in a type 4 {{Love Triangle}}, according to TriangRelations. Ended when the guy in the relationship broke up with his girlfriend, claiming to be gay, but sadly, AllLoveIsUnrequited, as this troper cannot get this boy out of her head. ---Go back to LoveTriangle before TriangRelations wins it over. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LowestCommonDenominator * David Firth took a stab on it in his [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pehHOqx7JXg Music Guess 2009]] short. * In the early 60s, MadMagazine ran a poetry feature about the television industry which included a Joe Sixpack focus group character exercising ExecutiveMeddling. Unsurprisingly, the piece was written by a former TV show writer. * Most of the people in This Troper's English class like some of the lowest forms of entertainment (except for me, the teacher, my friend, and the quiet nerds that sit on the other side of the classroom), including very trashy rap and pop music (especially {{Soulja Boy}}. God, I hate Soulja Boy all because of the people in my English class), Literature/{{Twilight}}, and Jersey Shore. They just also happen to be the same students who are immature and go to [[{{Wild Teen Party}} Wild Teen Parties]] to get drunk, grind with others, and/or to get high. I'm also wondering why the teacher won't move me - a tomboyish {{Otaku Surrogate}} who abosolutely hates Jersey Shore, perfers {{One Piece}} over Twilight, and is a big fan of Flogging Molly - away from these people who like the lowset forms of entertainment and to an open seat near the {{Hollywood Nerd}}s. ** Dammit! Little shits like that give getting high a bad name! I oughta beat the whole lot of them with [insert silly item to bludgeon a person to death with here]! * God help [[{{Tropers/Pittsburghmuggle}} me]], [[EvilMatriarch I love my mother-in-law]], but she likes shows though she doesn't watch them. The TV is always on at her house. She'll be having a conversation in the kitchen, excuse herself, then go into the living room to change the TV to the channel that "her program" is on, then go back into the kitchen and resume her conversation. I started watching a show that

she "watched" once, and she could never discuss it - she didn't really know what was going on in it. ''The television is just noise in the background''. These kind of TV watchers are why those of us in the "actually pay attention to the TV" community [[{{ptitle3w5au79hb9tv}} can't have nice things]]. ** This Troper and his mom are the same way. She always has the TV on, whereas I get distracted by it easily, so I always have it off so I can do something more important, on the computer. ** My freshman roommate was the same way, but with movies. On one particular day he played Star Wars: A Phantom Menace eight times, over and over again, as background noise. I've never been the same since, but the doctors here at Shady Oaks say I'm on my way to making a full recovery. ** Was this written by my future stepson?

LuckBasedMission * This Troper once spawn in Madagascar in Pandemic II. I didn't spread anywhere else and didn't have the points to be deadly. * This troper's driving test. Specifically the parking. Whether or not he pulls it off seems to be randomly determined by some form of higher power. ** This troper has to agree. He passed on his first shot, but just barely. And the driving portion only lasted ~10 minutes. * Earlier, while playing [[PokemonMysteryDungeon Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Sky]], [[{{Alkerion}} I]] had a particularly unlucky situation. Going from one floor into another, only to land directly in a Monster House (If you've never played it, think 10 enemies all attacking you at the same time...), and then be unlucky enough not only to have my attacks repeatedly miss, but the enemy's attacks to repeatedly hit! Needless to say, I ran out of almost all my [[AutoRevive Reviver Seeds]] and [[HealingPotion Oran Berries]], but managed to just about survive. The worst bit though, is that only a few floors after that I ran into ANOTHER Monster House and was easily defeated. It really felt that [[RandomNumberGod Arceus]] had it in for me there... * In Pokemon Leaf Green I was trying to get Zapdos. After a few tries (one where I KO'd it, one where it was one turn away from struggling and only had 1 hp, and one where I accidentally ran away) I was really getting annoyed. I did the same thing as before (beat it almost to death and False Swiped it down to 1 hp) but didn't bother using hypnotize (it didn't seem to help). Then I tossed an Ultra Ball... and got it on my first try. This was good, except now I have Moltres and Articuno left and know it's possible to get them without a status effect[[hottip:*: and it's also possible to catch them with a regular Poke Ball tossed at the beginning of the match, which doesn't make things better]]. * I was playing OregonTrail II and was only a few miles from the Rogue River Valley, when I got really unlucky and the wagon tipped on a steep hill five times. Wagon train morale plunged to zero, and I got fired. ** And on a more recent journey, I died from an accidental gunshot on

the first round of hunting. The rifle sheath apparently does nothing. *** Reminds me of my first time playing Oregon Trail III. Decided to hunt right after setting out, had a ricochet, died immediately. * During one of the Missions of Blood Wake I was provided with nothing more then a fast speed boat with pathetic armaments, had to race into the middle of an enemy harbor, bristling with very powerful turrets and a patrol boats, grab 3 chests, and then race back out. If I got hit by the turrets, the shockwave would send my boat into the air, and if that happens it's virtually impossible to get any traction when I land and avoid the other 10 shooting at me. Plus, the chests are situated on ramps, which have the potential to do the same thing, OR throw me onto the pier, which is an instant game over if I'm not careful. And yes, the small boat has very little health, with only a few health crates situated around. And that was on the ''easiest'' setting. * This troper has a literal and a tabletop wargame example. The literal one: whenever he takes command of a boat, whether he drives safely or like a drunken lunatic depends on how focused he on the task, which can vary RADICALLY. The tabletop wargame one: the chances of him winning a game seems to depend on how unlucky his opponent is. Before people point out that that is how wargaming works, consider that the number of times he has won can be counted on one hand, and he has been playing said game for two years, it seems that his luck is hilariously bad. Not even joking, it seems that Friday the 13th is a LUCKY day for him (I was bored and rolled 3 dice. All of them came up the same number. On one roll). Surprisingly, he is very good at card games, even with less than reasonable cards, which seems to make up for the dice. * This Troper was playing RedFaction: Guerilla, mission "Ashes to Ashes", when the artillery fire (which is supposed to only be thematic) destroyed my objective. No less than 5 times in a row (ok, 4 and I got killed by a Marauder, sue me.) * This troper distinctly remembers playing a round of Mario Party 3 with 1 player vs. 3 [=CPUs=], and watching, incredulously, as one of the aforementioned [=CPUs=] rolled the die and got a star on the first roll of the first turn. Needless to say, [[RageQuit the N64 got turned off fairly quickly]]. Oddly, much like the example on the main page, the [=CPU=] who received the star was Luigi... I'm calling a [[MilkmanConspiracy plumber conspiracy]]. ---Go back to LuckBasedMission. Or maybe not. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LudicrousGibs * This troper remembers hearing about a session of ''Mage: The Awakening'' his college friends played that involved transforming a cat into a much larger, stronger and angrier animal. This animal then went on a rampage in a near-by town. Eventually the military was called in to deal with the animal, and fired every gun they had at it

(including a few tank rounds).....right when the transforming spell WORE OFF. The math went like this: lots of bullet damage intended for larger animal + cat = "Red Mist". This term has been used by most future games of all systems in that college since.

LukeNounverber * This trope can lead to problems in fantasy role-playing games like ''Dungeons and Dragons''. This Troper's GenreSavvy ''{{Planescape}}'' crew asked one character (named something like "Stravlan Jonbelly" [[AssPull on the spur of the moment]]) the ''meaning'' of his name. Fortunately, he remembered the existence of the demi-john. ** This troper has seen someone give their character the last name of Monstercharm. It's fitting; his charisma is high enough that he ''could'' charm a monster. ** This troper actually had a character of his gain a nounverber surname by his gaming group; he had a tendency for making {{Critical Hit}}s on arms and legs in a ''WarhammerFantasyRoleplay'' [[MadeOfPlasticine Game]]; after a while everyone forgot his last name was "Agnarsson" and just called him "Limbcleaver".

Lurker * This troper does it IRL, due to general introversion and not having a lot to say in the first place. One group of my peers finds it vaguely creepy, another group considers me a quieter version of the InsufferableGenius (memetically so. I do better than most of them, but I'm not TOTALLY brilliant), and the rest find it oddly endearing. I think. I'm careful to do it online, too, but that's more "lurkmoar" than my personality. * THis troper tends to do it on livejournal and twitterm due mainly to getting to shy/scared/worried about coming off as a noob to say anything.

LustObject * This troper has a strange relationship with this trope. For a good year and I have I'd obsessed over one of my friends, and for a long time saw him as a LoveInterest. For whatever reason, at the time I felt that love and lust were mutually exclusive and so I complete desexualized him in my head. However ... I recently found out that he's apparently a HUGE horndog - he and his boyfriend are in an open relationship now and apparently have crazed orgies all the time. So now he seems to have become a LustObject instead. Weird! * I have a fictonal one i use as a dumping ground for all those feelings. Pickeds up a few more overtime

LyingToThePerp * After this editor was questioned by police for two hours (on an erroneous charge), a police officer stuck his head into the room and

said "She just identified him." I immediately pointed to the officer and announced, "He's lying. I watch way too much TV." ** Which also happened to this editor. Having an ironclad alibi (being 1000 km away at the time of the crime), one could take the time to appreciate the gradually escalating interrogation techniques and helpfully point out that they should really ask how much TV a suspect watches before starting on the more easily-recognized ones. *** This troper wonders why so many cops seem to think this is an original idea, judging by these claims. Or, for that matter, what other tropers are reported to have done for it to get to that stage... **** Same name as the accused, in this troper's case. Anyway, to answer the question, two answers: the first, most criminals aren't the sharpest knives in the drawer. Second, guilty conscience and all that. *** The police use it because it works. Watch some of the TV show ''{{Cops}}'' and see the police constantly tell the suspects that if they confess or otherwise help the police that the officers will make sure it goes easy on them and that if they don't it will go harder. The suspects are unaware of the fact that the police are permitted to lie...or maybe the suspects are just stupid. **** As noted above, many criminals are people who failed in ordinary life or have little experience with it. Some are [[CutLexLuthorACheck smart enough to live honestly]], but by no means all. Most crimes are ''not'' committed by GenreSavvy criminals. *** It has little to do with intelligence. The technique didn't work because you were innocent. Someone who's guilty is much more likely to fall victim. The cop says "She just IDed him" when you know you weren't there, you'll immediately see it as a lie. If the cop says the same thing when you WERE there and did in fact commit the crime... Well that's another story. *** Not only that, it's used on PoliceProcedurals ''because'' it works. You'll notice most of them have, at least some of the time, GenreSavvy enough perps who say "I've seen this on TV, I wont fall for it!" Needless to say, they do. ** This troper was recently stunned to hear that his best friend from junior high and high school had been picked up in a kiddie-porn sting. Aside from the shock that this guy liked kiddie porn and was looking to have sex with a 13 year old boy, a small part was pure annoyance at the stupidity of being caught by a detective posing as a 13 year old kid. You'd think by now that people smart enough to use the Internet would have enough GenreSavvy to know that only about 95% of the young kids looking to have sex via the internet are actually either detectives looking to nail pedophiles or other pedophiles trolling for victims. *** This troper has to wonder what percentage of stings actually turn out to have the expected pedo actually be a member of another agency on their own sting. **** In a wheels within wheels sort of way or spy vs spy? **** Happened at least once on LawAndOrderSpecialVictimsUnit; there was an FBI mole in the pedophile operation the team busted, and he was ''pissed''. ----->'''Cragen:''' That's why they're beating us. [...] They're

working ''together''. ** After some kids set fire to an abandoned building and wouldn't 'fess up (even though everyone knew they did it), this troper, a geologist as well as volunteer firefighter, made up a completely BS story about the unique nature of the rocks making up the walls of the building and how anyone touching those walls would have residue on their gloves showing that they'd been there. And then he hauled out a small UV lamp actually used for examining rocks. Seeing the glowing specks on her gloves (which could have been anything, a lot of things glow under UV), one of the kids confessed. * Attempted in a fanfic this editor wrote; it failed because the character in question knew he had killed everyone who had seen the crime in question take place. That the police tried to use 'one of your friends ratted on you' as an interrogation method actually made him realize they were unaware of his other crimes. Knowing that he only had one crime to create an alibi for instead of a string of them was what saved him from breaking down. ---You can't go back to LyingToThePerp. Ever. We found out what you did there, and you're just done. It's go directly to jail... * Okay, we didn't. But now that you've confessed to it... ---<<|TroperTales|>>

LyricalDissonance * This troper's father wrote a cheerful song about [[HighOctaneNightmareFuel vivisecting a rat while]] [[{{Squick}} it was still conscious]]. ** I'm pretty sure "conscious" (or at least "alive") is implied in the definition of vivisection.... [[CompletelyMissingThePoint Sorry. I'll stop now.]] * At the end of September 2001, this troper wrote and sang a parody based on a medley of kid-oriented anime openings. The theme of the parody? [[{{TooSoon}} Making fun of 9/11.]] * This troper wrote a song with a relatively happy tune. The song is about public suicide. :D ** [[NeonGenesisEvangelion Komm Susser Tod?]] * This troper's songs are happy acoustic tunes with lyrics about gore and killing. * This troper once put new lyrics to "The Marines Hymn" about [[InterserviceRivalry how the US Army sucks]]. * This troper once had a song enter her mind about a woman who is imprisoned, and her brother driven insane by excessive torture, after learning of a conspiracy on behalf of the Royal Children to kill their father [the King.] I do not know where it came from, but it came along with a very happy tune reminiscent of the songs you learn in Kindergarten. The kicker? This all happened at church. I had to cover my notebook the entire time to avoid my mother looking over, seeing what I was writing, and promptly dropping dead. * This troper dabbled on writing his own music back in his college

days after getting himself a copy of a Tracker program for his computer (an {{Amiga}} 500). One experimental composition ended up fitting the trope by accident. It was to the tune of a swing-dance song similar to "Build Me Up: Buttercup", but the lyrics were about a guy who ran into his {{Yandere}} ex-girlfriend and was really pissed about it. The troper's collegemates had a good laugh about it when they heard a demo. * One year, the director of the choral group [[{{Tropers.Snowsky}} this troper]] was in decided he wanted us to sing songs from "Annie" for our spring concert. One of the songs was "Maybe," which is, for those of you that don't know, is a very sad, very poignant song about Annie wanting to find her parents. Our choral director's solution? To have us sing the song in [[{{Understatement}} happy,]] upbeat voices. Someone please get me a [[TastesLikeDiabetes barf bag.]] * Many residents of St. Louis and Kansas City can probably recall the first time they heard this gem: "[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRGw5uAJBHc Midwest Hemorrhoid Treatment Center]]... [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4fzO9whly8 don't suffer in silence!]]" * This troper is singing a song about the crucifixion of Jesus Christ...in G major. * This troper has seen Within Temptation's ''Angels'' song used to support pairings on youtube in complete seriousness, especially for Twilight. The music is soft and pretty, and the singer's voice is no less so. However, the lyrics are about a ManipulativeBastard at best, and possibly a CompleteMonster [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwTmqPMjlPM (the music video makes the subject of the song a serial killer).]] I can understand people mistaking a song for being less ominous than it really is in some cases, such as when a song's chorus sounds deceptively innocent, but even that is no excuse here: -->''You took my heart, deceived me right from the start'' -->''You showed me dreams, I wished they would turn into real'' -->''You broke your promise and made me realize'' -->'''It was all just a lie.''' * This troper's mother bought the Ke$ha CD for some incomprehensible reason, and proceeded to play it on a long car trip. At the end of the CD, there were some bonus songs. One of the ones that played was very upbeat and innocent sounding. These were the first few lines: --> ''(Just can't wait) Oh boy, I just can't wait for history class. It's my favorite hour of the day'' --> ''Up on the chalkboard [[{{Squick}} I just love your ass]] (mmm)'' --> ''When you write notes that shake-shake-shake'' --> ''So when you get back my pop quiz, what will you think when you read this?'' --> ''Mr. Watson, I want to get with you. I won't tell a soul what we're gonna do.'' --> ''Wanna get my hands [[{{Squick}} in your khaki pants]]'' ** Luckily, since it was Ke$ha, I was ready for it. *** Isn't that "[[TeacherStudentRomance Mr]] [[IntercourseWithYou Watson]]"? * This trope is the reason this troper usually prefers to listen to

instrumentals unless the lyrics are just as awesome as the song. The instruments can be incredibly awesome, but if the lyrics are completely inappropriate for the song, it gets pretty jarring. * This troper wrote a nice little happy-go-lucky sounding tune, along with some lyrics. The lyrics happen to be about an actor slowly going insane out of sheer stress and a feeling of worthlessness, telling all his fans and colleagues how much they made it worse and how bitter he is towards them, and that he's going to kill himself in the middle of a performance in front of a live audience. * Okay, this troper probably has outdone everyone by sheer quantity. He has written multiple songs about nuclear warfare (one to the tune of "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" and one to the tune of "American Pie," although admittedly those songs are somewhat melancholy anyhow), a song about the Rwandan Genocide (to the tune of "Yellow Submarine"-okay, we were studying that in class and it popped into my head), and a song parodying Kipling's "The White Man's Burden" to the tune of "TiK ToK" (again, influenced by schoolwork). It has slowly occurred to my acquaintances that there is something seriously wrong with me. * Kind of invoked with this troper: he wrote a short song (well, two verses at the time of writing) about Ed Gein (for those of you who are fans of {{Slayer}}, yes, this is the same guy from "Dead Skin Mask" and, for fans of {{Lordi}}, yes, this is the guy who inspired "Deadache") to a minor key version of "Rockabye Baby". [[HighOctaneNightmareFuel It was pretty creepy]] ([[EarWorm and surprisingly catchy]]), [[ShownTheirWork yet everything in it is either accurate or unproven in accuracy by the authorities]]. The lyrics, luckily, are so cringeworthy that he doubts he'll ever perform it live. ---''(death metal)'' Happy, happy tea time [[LyricalDissonance in the main article]]!!! ---<<|TroperTales|>>

MaamShock [[redirect:TroperTales/{{ptitledu41nxkg6try}}]]

MacGyvering * Last week-end, I brought my Wii at a friend of mine's for some always-nice 4-players Mario Kart action. Of all things I could've forgotten, turns out I hadn't taken the sensor bar, which was absolutely necessary to start the game up. Luckily, I remembered the Wii Remote pointer works with any kind of infrared, so we tried to solve the problem by [[CrossingTheStreams crossing the light beams]] of a torch and a mobile phone. [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome And it worked.]] * This Troper managed to fix a bed frame using a pen and a ping-pong paddle.

* This Troper once fixed the foot pedal to band's chimes with paperclips, string, and half of a broken screw. * This troper swears he can fix the door at work with super glue and magnets. He also heard this line from a TruTV program about a murder: "Instead, the killer or killers used items found around MacGyver's home." * This troper just repaired his car's air conditioner with nothing but a pair of nail clippers. * On a vacation to Denmark, we found out a good way to keep the wasps away from us was putting out a glass of lemon soda. They kept to this glass and didn't bother us much. * Visit any high school theatre. Chances are, you'll find something held together with gaffers tape or other adhesive. We tend to use gaff tape to hold together gel frames or set pieces when we can't find screws. * This troper ran out of tent-pegs on a camp recently (the weather was foul, pouring rain and half-way to a gale). Turns out that big screwdrivers actually make quite an effective substitute, especially when the peg-mallet is a lead-head (big square, all metal head). * This troper helped put a t-shirt for the university's recreational services (intramural sports and the like) on display when there was no available hanger by using three tent stakes and a lanyard used to hold whistles. * [[@/LadyNorbert This troper]] has this reputation in her workplace, where she is the resident person-who-repairs-everything. It's reached an almost comical level -- not only do her coworkers not bother to try to fix things, they ''aren't allowed''. Anything involving repairs, modifications, or other similar actions is specifically reserved for her. One of the volunteers, watching her reverse-engineer a broken wind chime into a set of ornaments, invoked the trope by asking her, "So are you, like, the MacGyver of this outfit or something?" * When this troper was 10-ish his 4-ish brother needed 4 of the larger AA batteries for a robot toy, but there were only 3 AA batteries available. So, he took 1 AAA batttery from a remote control, and a small round magnet from a Lego set, pushed the magnet and the AAA battery into the slot and it worked. * This troper accidentally broke the nut (piece that holds the strings) on his guitar. In an attempt to fix it until I had enough money to buy a new one, I then split a pencil in half with my favorite [[KnifeNut knife]], carved grooves in it, and re-strung the guitar. For a piece of processed sawdust that cracked slightly whenever I used the whammy bar, it held up beautifully. * This Troopette managed to break into her house using a name tag. * This Troper tried to invoke MacGyvering once (when he was accidentally locked out of the house) by picking the lock with a compass and some gum. It was subverted, spectacularly. ----

MachineEmpathy * Entries from the "Real Life" section of the main page that I think belong here.

** In fact, home computers all work basically the same, so knowing one gives you a bit of a head start when starting to work with another. The more you work with different computers, the better you become at recognising "personalities" or general similarities between models, certain customisations and hardware-software interaction. (This troper is aware that her reputation as the go-to computer-savvy is largely due to this trope.) *** Works with software too. It can be painful to watch someone in action who doesn't understand how computers think. ** As a sysadmin, I made it part of my routine to go into the server room every morning and just listen for a minute or so. Helped catch more than one failing component before things got really messy. * Also, [[{{Tropers/Rosuav}} my own]] story. There's no [[Technopath]] weirdness going on, just that I've been working with computers for so long that I know how they think and feel. My family has stopped being weirded out when I say that Traal (my laptop) called me (silently - if you know DungeonsAndDragons, think of the Alarm spell). I can perform better at various games if I have both hands on the keyboard and headphones on, not because I actually need my left hand for that game, but simply because it strengthens the connection between us.

MachoMasochism * This troper is mainly posting out of surprise that there isn't a TT page for this already... though I suppose downing four raw habanero peppers over lunch would count. Easy at the time, but very regrettable an hour later. ---Click your way back to MachoMasochism...by crushing your balls in your laptop!

MaddenIntoMisanthropy * [[CosmicPlaything Recent events have conspired]] to force [[Tropers/{{Fishsicles}} This Troper]] into being a textbook case of this trope, except for the increasingly happy and satisfied part. Especially around August and September '08, I had JadeColoredGlasses stapled to my face (which I have come to greatly enjoy), [[SillyRabbitIdealismIsForKids gave up]] [[SillyRabbitRomanceIsForKids on a]] [[BrokenBird lot of]] [[IneffectualLoner expected norms]], and found that I [[BeyondTheImpossible cared EVEN]] [[TheUnfettered LESS about]] [[ChaoticSelfish social conventions]]. Most of my friends have come to tolerate this, as has most of my immediate family (with [[MyBelovedSmother one notable exception]]). * This Troper. It's actually really fun after you get through the depression, and supposedly makes you a certified BadAss. If the depression is intellectual, you have a tendency to get happier after you find the misanthropy, since accepting that HumansAreBastards and there's nothing one can do to change it is far jollier than being disappointed by some JerkAss all the time. Meeting other people with a similar point of view has driven This Troper to declare that nearly every RealLife misanthrope is a KnightInSourArmor.

* [[@/MrW This troper]] had a major BreakTheCutie moment when I was young. For some reason(apparently, it was to save face), my friends decided to disown me as a friend. As you would imagine, I was pretty upset at it. The next middle school year was a mess of bad decisions and stupid people, and I was pretty much fed up with being nice to... [[JerkJock THESE]] [[TheLibby PEOPLE.]] While I didn't become depressed or attempt suicide, ''something'' in my brain snapped, [[TookALevelInJerkAss causing me to turn into a complete jerk.]] [[CharacterDevelopment I started to grow out of this, though.]] * This troper went through a variation of this. As a Sophomore in high school while attempting to challenge into the first jazz band at her school, she began to dislike the class above her because they were able to get into that band without "earning" it (there was only one jazz band when they entered high school). However unlike the true archetype, she kept her mouth shut about it, and mocked them silently for their presumed "sense of entitlement." * This Troper who would prefer to [[UnknownTroper remain anonymous]] was targeted by Encyclopedia Dramatica two years ago, and the page on me is still up. Before being targeted, I was rather happy to talk with anyone and was always extremely polite online, and had a bit of an overinflated confidence in my own abilities. The whole ordeal with Anonymous was so messy, however, that I've become a horribly jaded person about the internet who honestly doesn't care who gets pissed at what I post, and can't be bothered to show anything to anyone unless they ask about it or it's relevant to the topic. I'm a complete internet cynic now, though I do have to admit some of the stuff the trolls have to say about my old DeviantArt account is ActuallyPrettyFunny and HilariousInHindsight since most of it was ridiculous behavior anyway. ** I feel your pain, except that I, [[TooDumbToLive who once supported ED]], was swayed by a sudden realisation that ''everything that they had ever said about us was a lie.'' * [[{{Tropers/PasswordForgettingTroper}} This Troper]] gets like this sometimes, but he snaps out of it after a few minutes. * Tropers/{{Excel-2010}}. [[SurroundedByIdiots Being gifted sucks.]] I don't think I have to elaborate. ** [[{{Tropers/Trebor}} This troper]] agrees completely. * [[{{Tropers/Ping693}} This troper's]] experiences mirror the article so much that he can't help but be a little creeped out. * This troper had (and still has) a basic belief that humans can be good if they tried to. However the newspaper articles that detail the deaths and depravities each day often make this troper wonder if humanity's kindness isn't so much a glorified trait than a phase that we go through where we cease to care about anyone else but ourselves. This troper also has a morbid fascination with serial killers, but only because their atrocities are so hard for her to conceive that she tries to find some human justification as to why they do it. * Some bullying victims can become this. Some bullying victims then become so effectively sarcastic the bullies stop. Some bullying victims, looking back on it, went to a reasonably weird Secondary School. * This troper eventually descended down the slippery slope into

misanthropy some time after his parents divorce or the perpetual bullying in high school, beginning with noticing that humans basically glorify stupidity (thank you Jersey Shore), worship celebrities that (to be honest) are just regular humans that have drawn the public eye but get paid ridiculous amounts for merely existing, do nothing to stop parasitic individuals (this tropers personal hate is customs, I paid for my stuff once already as well as the postage fee, I shouldn't have to pay another 100 pounds to get a hold of it because its from outside the UK) from leeching off the rest of us, and the bastards that torment others for no other purpose but to derive some form of sadistic glee get off relatively scott free, whilst the ones who actually work to advance the species don't get the recognition they deserve. This coupled with the general bastardry of the species (this troper studies law and has to deal with some of the worst of the worst) and the stupidity of certain social constructions (mostly based in ethics and religion but also other things) turned this troper from a bright eyed idealist into the misanthrope typing up this whiny rant. Sometimes I play it for comedy, but deep down I hate this species with a passion. Is it wrong that I hope that I'm actually a member of an alien species that was dropped off on the planet by accident? * [[{{Tropers/Rosuav}} This Troper]] has worked in IT for too long to have not picked up some misanthropy. Between a brother's girlfriend who wants to fiddle with servers, having to support Windows users who lack basic comprehension of the keyboard, and extended family members who just can't understand that what I'm doing on my laptop is more important than them, I've reached the satisfying position of being a declared [[Chaotic Neutral]] sysadmin, happy to swap stories with you when you're acting intelligent, but happy to hive off to another room with headphones on when you're not. ---Go back to MaddenIntoMisanthropy: because you want to, and nobody's going to stop you!

MadeOfExplodium * According to this troper's father, this was what his college Organic Chemistry class devolved into. "So you take one part of Explodium, and three parts methyl-ethyl-boom-de-ay..." (Actual quote. He's never been to TV Tropes, despite my urgings.)

MadeOfIron * This troper found out that all through high school he had a rapidly growing tumor in his chest that had been crunching his lung and carotid artery more and more as time went on. He still managed to have steadily improving grades, held down a job, worked out regularly, and found a girlfriend (who he is still with) despite that getting worse and worse. Only noticed it when his chest started hurting like hell at work and thought he was having a heart attack. Calmly asked his boss to go home, went to the ER after checking WebMD, and a tumor the size of a football came up on a chest X-ray. After that the NEXT in a long, long sequence of [[Made Of Iron]] happened when he only got long-term

hospitalized a month later and had a biopsy done when he should've been gone, flatlined on the operating table, and his heart started again without any intervention other than sitting him up. After that, he had about 6 hours left and was being transferred to a cancer hospital in NYC (a point if you guess which one). The directions were gotten by FUCKING MAPQUEST, and it took 8 hours to get there. Got in too dehydrated for them to find a vein, so they had to dig around in his leg for a bit and gave him an anesthesia free spinal tap. They started me on huge doses of chemo sufficient to kill me in and of themselves, I suspect because "if we don't he's dead, if we do he's probably dead. Why not let's see what happens". The tumor shrank 75% and over the course of treatment my blood counts rarely dropped below normal levels, and recovered quickly when they did. Four years later and he's entirely fine except for walking with a cane while his legs fix themselves from some minor bone damage, when he should be dead, maimed, or have experienced serious brain damage. His IQ actually went UP from all this because of getting used to thinking on no oxygen. * This troper's friend must be indestructible, because he has taken this list without so much as broken or dislocated bone, a torn muscle or tendon and has yet to get knocked the fuck out: 3 shots (.357 at 4 feet away), 1 shot (9mm pressed to the gun), 2 shots (.22 at ten yards), 48 knifes, run over with a car, hit with 3 other cars, hit and thrown by a truck, blown up and pumped with three pieces of sharpnel from his home made explosive( him and four other friends were going to use it to chop down a tree......he is smart and stupid all at once), a baseball bat to the head and he splintered the tip, well over 200 fights ( he has sorta of knightly thing going on and me and our other friends tend to make enemies.......the knight ends up kicking a whole helluva lota ass and the way he fights has gotten him nick-names such as "hound of war" and "iron ribs") and some..ehem...rather brutal sex with me and his other fuck buddy * [[ThunderBird This Troper]] apparently has a selective sense of pain. And having crazy ideas doesn't help his case. To date, he had an electric fan nearly lop a piece off his right middle finger after a dare to catch the blade, then a double-or-nothing that he doesn't dare hold his fist against the blades, which resulted in his knuckles being ground skinless; he cut a sponge in half with his newly sharpened knife, slicing his left palm open about a millimeter deep; and he grasped a pot of boiling water to decant it. His response to his adopted sister's inquiry on why: "[[GoodThingYouCanHeal I regenerate.]]". None of his injuries lasted more than two-three days, even the skinless knuckles. * A friend of [[DaNuke Da_Nuke]] was put in a wheelchair... after falling from a ''fourth'' floor, head first, and after an entire catwalk fell on him. Two months later, he was good enough to use his wheelchair. * This troper has had a ton of odd incidents happen to him without permanent (or even noticeable) injuries; being bounced off a trampoline several times (once landing flat on his back on the hard Arizona dirt with his head smacking into a nearby wood pile), splitting his chin on the head of a friend he accidentally landed on while jumping into their swimming pool, ''purposely getting shocked

repeatedly in the genitals with a stripped electrical cord'', among others. Only things he had to go to the hospital for was the split chin. ** Going on the fact that you were willingly shocked, your obviously too stupid to realize you've been hurt. Like some kind of reality altering level of idiocy. *** This troper's been shocked plenty of times by stripped cords/misplugged plugs/touching the plug while plugging it in. There's never been any sort of effect. 140V with standard wall current hitting a human wont kill them. When it's lethal, it blows a fuse. *** This troper has stepped on exposed electrical cords a few times as well, in Australia where mains electricity is 240V. It just tickles. * This troper's grandfather fell down 7 concrete steps face first while carrying/dropping two large metal deck chairs. He only broke his nose and got two relatively minor facial cuts. Considering the man is 82 years old and has had several health problems in the past, this troper would say her grandfather's pretty tough to survive a fall like that. * ThisTroper is MadeOfIron. (And, he suspects, a low-level HealingFactor.) He has survived falling down a flight of concrete steps, [[HeavySleeper slept through a sheet of plywood falling on him]], accidentally shutting his head in a door, and fell skidding down a hill into a bandstand, all without a scratch. The HealingFactor kicks in on the rare occasions where he has been hurt, the injuries have all disappeared quickly, leaving scars for no more than a few months. * When [[DialgaX Dialga X]] was 4, he fell down a flight of wooden steps onto a concrete floor and landed on his head. He was totally unharmed. ** He also has and Ipod Shuffle that was MadeOfIron as well. It survived being run over by a 7 ton ambulance (possibly more than once), a solid month or two of exposure to the elements ''and'' it still had enough battery power to play a few songs. Of course, the fact that it was wearing "armor" (an aluminum case might have helped). * JET73L has a [[MadeOfIron Skull of Iron]] (not literally), scalp included. He has flattened the corner of solid shelving when the top of his head contacted it at high speed. Sharp (sometimes heavy) metal objects have been driven into his scalp at high speed without breaking the skin. [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking He walks into stopsigns and low ceilings when distracted.]] And unfortunately, his MadeOfIron powers are painfully averted from the hairline down. * This troper has oddly enough managed to NEVER be in the hospital for an injury. I fell off my bike and once skinned my back. Almost fell out of a 70 r so MPH truck. Almost drowned twice. Almost struck by lightning. Routinely gets hit in the head, HARD. I'm surprised I'm not dead. * This troper's Jack Russel Terrier has survived many falls and multiple injuries, with a limping leg the only noticeable injury yet, despite being barely larger than a Chihuahua. Justified by having a rather husky build. * This troper somehow managed to withstand being boarded (in non hockey terms, being rammed into the boards at full speed) and break

the ankle of the boarder/rammer. Brutally subverted due to the fact that this was during PRACTICE and both of us still don't know how the hell it happened. ** Also note, troper has also been the bullet magnet for multiple hits/injuries that should keep anyone else out for a couple of games at the least and was still able to play in the same game. For example, once received a ricochet puck to neck which by all means is NOT FUN AT ALL. I was able to convince the coaches to let me return to my normal line based on the fact that a mere puck hasn't stopped this troper before. * A friend of this troper seems to be this. To list a few of the injuries I've seen him shrug off, he's been dragged down a gravel road for three miles (foot got caught in a hole in the bed, driver didn't notice) a fall from the second story building, his little 'mishap' during a school trip to Spain (ran with the bulls...) got hit by a pickup truck going fifty something, landed perfectly on his feet and being able to run after. He's also taken some nasty falls from stairs, out of moving vehicles, bikes, motorcycles, skateboard and never broken a bone... Maybe it's because he's Russian? * This female troper baffles all the doctors she's gone to. After listing all the injuries she has suffered and not gone to the hospital for,they wonder what the hell i'm eating. To date,since the age of 9,she has fallen down concrete steps headfirst,hit by a car riding her bike,pushed into the spray of an uncapped fire hydrat and skidded on her bare shoulder across the street,onto a sidewalk and hit a chainlink fence,fallen off a 10 ft wall,belly-flopped onto a hardwoodfloor face-first and chipped her tooth,had a door fall on her,kicked by a stallion,dragged by a dog downhill on a sidewalk on her stomach,trampled by a 300lb sow,body slammed by a 200lb ram,had her head slammed in the hood of a car,had a wooden swingset fall onto her legs, and several more i don't remember.The only ones i had to go to the hospital for was when i srtuck my head on a post diving out of the way of a erratic car and had bad headaches,only for the doctors to find that i had a cracked hip i didn't even feel or know i had and nothing wrong with my skull. Ironically,the other times was when i developed acid reflux and spat up blood...and my thyroid acted up and gave me a heartattack. Go figger... * This troper also notes an animal made of iron. A goose. This troper's father was driving down the driveway in a F350 pick up and the silly thing wouldn't move. So my dad ran it over. We watched it slowly roll under the tire,tailfeathers first,along its spine,off its head, and off its beak. it stood up and walked onto the grass,honking.UNHARMED. * [[SabreJustice This troper]] once captured a very large ant and took it to school to show off. The ant proceeded to survive being stuffed in a tissue-filled box for hours, being tortured, squashed by [[AllOfTheOtherReindeer my classmates]] while I wasn't looking, by my mother when I was, and was still fine and dandy. I nicknamed the little bugger [[{{X-men}} Wolverine]] before releasing it. * When This Troper herself was struck by a car while crossing the street as a pedestrian, hard enough that I was knocked off my feet and bounced on the pavement-- I got up, assured the driver and bystanders

I was fine, and was about to ''walk home'' when it was pointed out to me that I would need to give a police statement... I ended up bruised and sore for a few days, and that was about it. * This Troper's grandfather fought in the Korean War. One time, right after charging down a hill, an artillery shell hit nearby. (Real close by, like what happened to [[Film/IronMan Tony Stark]].) The blast [[BlownAcrossTheRoom knocked him almost back to the top of the hill.]] After a few moments, he stood up and charged back down again. He says it made his ears ring really bad for a few hours, but that's about it. * This Troper's dad. Let me list them off...had most of his palm ripped off by barbed wire, the top of his middle finger chopped off, been whacked in the head by a falling crowbar, had a boulder roll over his foot and drag him several yards down a hill, tearing off his shoes, been STRUCK BY LIGHTNING (and then told by HIS dad to keep working on the metal fence they were putting up on top of a treeless HILL during a THUNDERSTORM), jumped off a roof, FALLEN two stories off a roof and walked away, had his appendix explode, * takes breath* . Are you surprised that I'm even alive right now? Once, when he was putting up a mailbox with his brother, he got stung by a wasp. He slightly felt it, and couldn't find where it stung him. When this troper was walking in the woods with him, he punched down a small tree. Made of Iron. * Does falling down hard wooden stairs as a baby with absolutely no damage done count? Especially if you tumble on the way down? I think so, but I don't remember it happening. Suspicious. * [[{{Griffin}} This troper's]] dog once fell directly from more than twice her height, onto hard stone steps...and promptly got up after whining a little, then raced back up to where he'd fallen. No lasting side effects have been seen. ** My cat has jumped out of my arms toward the counter, missed, hit her side on the corner, fell on her back and hit her head, only to get up and walk away with no pain whatsoever... multiple times. ** (same troper as above) The first time said cat met one of our dogs she dove across the room, grabbed onto the dog with her claws, rode the dog down the hall while biting and scratching her (the dog), then went at the dog again after falling off before I grabbed the cat and put her in another room. Me and my brother got scratched several times from when the cat first struck (including several cuts under our clothes, which weren't damaged at all). The dog? Not a scratch at all (though she was pretty freaked out). ** (again from the above troper) My neighbor's dog, Buster, is made out of friggin adamantium. He was the only one in his litter to survive Parvo, he has fought packs of coyotes and won (and has probably tangled with other animals), he's broken both hips, he once got hit in the head by a horseshoe and (after a few minutes of unconsciousness) got up and was just fine, he has been hit by cars, and god only knows what else. * This Troper has an odd example. As a child, he had several serious injuries for the age(3-8). I'd fall off the high chair regularly, had my tongue split in half by a spring, slammed against the concrete, got into a [[CurbStompBattle]] or two, and had all the skin on my chest ripped off twice. Never once went to the hospital. Around the time I

got a PS2, I was so frail, that a five year old could push me down. This lasted until I was in grade 9, when I was inexplicably immune to getting punched. Whenever someone hit me, I barely felt it. Even when a softball slammed my face, I just had a bit of blurred eyesight. The bullies would punch my head, and break a finger... and the only time I've been to the hospital in my life(for me), is when I was born, and when I was admitted into the Psyche Ward for a few hours. * I know a guy who has been hit by a car 13 times, stabbed 6 times, shot twice, and has had sulfuric acid dumped on his right arm. He is 15. I don't really believe it either. * This troper grew up with two older brothers who love to rough house, which has caused her to toughen up quite a bit. Pinches, punches, even hair pulling doesn't phase her. She's also fairly clumsy but has fallen down stairs many times or out of trees with nothing but maybe small scrape or bruise. * This troper knows a man who is sometimes called a tank. For examplePlaying Rugby, he was pushing against everyone on the opposite team. He pushed them out of the way without trying. * [[{{Tk4l}}This troper]] is unfortunate enough to have an extremely high pain threshold... And sensory hypersensitivity due to his AS. The only reason he can't kick everyone's ass is not because he's a weakling, it's because everything hurts him a lot more then normal. Punching someone usually does hurt him more than it hurts them. However, the high pain threshold comes into effect. A particularly glaring example was 3 summers ago at camp, this troper fell from a tree, whammed against the roof of his bunk, K.Oing him, and rolled down to fall 12 feet. His lip was almost bit through, and his wrists were displaced from the rest of his arm; it looked like someone replaced my wrist bone with a golf ball. In extreme pain, he declined his counselor's offer to carry him to the nurse, and walked the 1/8th of a mile to the nurse by himself, before promptly collapsing. * This troper has never sustained an injury more serious than a sprained ankle despite falling down a long flight of concrete stairs at age 5, being hit by a van on his bike, getting into a few 5+ on 1 encounters, being on the side of the car that was actually hit in a wreck (when his mother and brother on the other side were actually injured), being beat down with an aluminum bat(several strikes to the skull no less) until IT was dented, bleeding about 5 pints (yes, at once), and being a professional wrestler. Oddly the sprained ankle came from an awkward landing jumping down from a tree. * This troper fell off his bike, catching his leg in the frame to stop him from twisting all the way around, and skidded about 10-15 feet on his elbow. Upon getting up, he immediately began arguing with his friend as to the exact reason he fell, before having his arm pointed out to him. The road rash needed a bit of cleaning (the alcohol was more painful than the wound) and a large bandage on it for about a week before he was back to normal. He has also sprained his wrist at a roller rink and immediately begun playing light gun games afterward and getting great scores, had his foot crushed by a tire with little to no injury, and at the age of 5 had an entire dresser fall on him with nothing beyond mild discomfort and sheer terror. * This troper's step-father is Made of Iron. He's been working as a

logger pretty much all of his life, and is still going strong in his mid-fifties. This summer alone, he had a tree fall onto him while he was working, pulled himself out from under it, and went right back to work. When he finally came home he was forced to see the doctor by my mother, and finds out he's been walking around on a broken leg for three weeks. After learning that his leg has already healed improperly, and that they will have to rebreak his leg so it can set properly in a cast, he declines. He says if he can walk on a broken leg, he can walk on an improperly healed leg, and goes right back to work. Later that summer, he ends up in a full on collision with another car. The entire car was almost destroyed, and he walks out with a minor headache. Again, he went right back to work. I have seen this man fall down rock faces, drop logs and stumps on his feet, burn himself, fall off rooves, fall off ladders, have his ears bleed due from hearing damage, and, in my favorite incident, rub poison oak all over himself to prove to my mother that it wasn't poison ivy. I have seen this man injured in just about every way possible, and none of it has ever been more than a minor inconvenience to him. He just picks himself up, shoos away the doctors, and goes back to work in the bush to put food on the table. * My laptop (no pun intended). It's been dropped, thrown, thrashed, and had water spill on it, but it still runs perfectly fine and only has trouble charging. * This troper found out the hard way. Lets just say, like 5 of your average jocks, each 150 pounds of complete muscle, raining punches and kicks all on a guys balls. All I did was to just walk it off. They didn't like that, so they went and tried to experiment and see what happens when you forcefully insert an elbow between a head and a shoulder. I went and read a book. Getting pissed off, they went and decided to charge at me full force, and try to smash me against a wall. Once again, protocol dictated that I walk it off without a word. Looking back on that completely true story, the only thing that really pissed me off or hurt was time spent not reading, and the fact that adults are either blind or idiots, cause they did this in the middle of lessons. In a crowded classroom. Without receiving any consequence other than relieving pent up rage. * [[{{Tropers/Deelles}} This Troper]] doesn't really know whether he's just crazy or [[{{Determinator}} determined]]. Once, he was going to be late for lesson and was riding his bike at full speed, and caught a tree by riding too much near the borders. He fell two meter further, almost scrapped his bike, which hit a nearby car. He got up one second later with a headache (and some bruises and injuries, thankfully they were all covered by whether the hair or the clothes, save for a thin stream of blood that he quickly swiped away), excused himself to the conductor, and just went to the high school anyways. Miraculously, he wasn't late in the end, though he had to follow the lessons with a headache and got some drips of blood on his sheets. He was pretty much fine after a good night of sleep. Another day, he was almost going to miss the tram and while he was running, he tripped on the rugged sidewalk and sprained both his palms and his knees. He still caught the train and managed to not be late at his meeting with his classmates, and that was because we scheduled to play ''Paintball''

(in order to celebrate the end of high school, mind you). In the end, he was playing with busted hand palms and knees, and still lasted to the end. Yeah, maybe he's just plain crazy. * {{Tropers/Giratina}} has heard many stories about various {{Nintendo}} games and systems being MadeOfIron (before we go any further: no pun intended). She can attest to the dropping stories (she's a total butterfingers), but the one she was most proud of was this: her copy of [[{{Pokemon}} Pokemon Pearl]]. It sat in the middle of a heavily forested New Jersey backyard, faced curious animals and the sometimes hellish weather, for a ''year and a half''. Since that game contained almost all of this Troper's very dear Pokemon (yes, they're pieces of data, but she's a fanfiction author so shut up), she can't help but think of it as a {{Determinator}} of sorts... ** You too? I've lost track of how many times I've dropped my [=iPod=] on a hard floor, but it's still okay. My earphones too - my cat yanks them out of my ears all the time (which I'm always afraid will break the wires), but somehow they still work. * This troper knows two people who are basically ''unstoppable'' in a game of rugby. One of them is actually known as "tank" because of his reputation as someone who can push against the ''entire'' opposing team and keep going. * Growing up, this troper often heard the story of how her Grandfather (in his 60s at the time) had insisted on climbing a ladder to fix the top shelves in his library, fell off and landed, rear end first, through a ''two tier glass table''. Once his wife had managed to extricate him from the table, he reportedly had no injuries aside from a few scratches. ---You think you just hurt MadeOfIron? Go back just to see... ** Hah! You cannot harm those who have [[DiscWorld The Lady's]] favor. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

MadeOfPlasticine * This troper seems to have a knee made of plasticine and balsa wood. Following an old track injury, it has become a daily grind not to knock it out of line or injure it; a perfect example comes from my High School days. Out with a few friends and having a good time, I managed to dislocate the joint and shift the cap purely by taking a step while pigeontoed (that is to say, with my toes turned inwards) that required a doctor and a metric ton of painkillers to put back in place. Fun Trope to live with. ** This troper's feet are rotated about 45 degrees out, while her knees are rotated about 45 degrees in (BodyHorror, anyone?), which has predisposed her for knee injuries. While bouncing lightly on her toes before fencing practice, she somehow managed to snap something inside of her kneecap that basically sprained her knee. To this day, the doctor still has no idea what the hell she did to herself. Both of her knees pop and snap with no warning, and the joints will start getting loose and snapping around if she's been standing for too long.

*** This anonymous troper has the same problems, with the addition that even the force of walking around can pull his shoulders and knees several centimeters to INCHES out of the sockets. The worst part isn't the constant threat of severe injury, or the constant painful yet minor injuries, it's the inability to find knee-pads that fit due to the funky leg shape. * For whatever reason, I have taken [[MadeOfIron soccer ball and door]] to the face without showing any signs of pain, but I can't handle the pain of stretching. * This troper's joints exhibit this. They crack loudly when flexed after periods of inactivity, his fingers are prone to dislocation, his skin tends to be sliced very easily, and the torn rotator cuff is still healing, but the underlying bone structure seems to be made of rubber. On slamming into the back of a car from a normal cruising speed while cycling, this troper has felt his ribs bend before popping back into shape. * This troper had a fair chunk of bone smacked off his thumb by ... a school door. And was blamed for doing it on purpose. Sigh. * This troper knows someone who's apparently had his arm broken by a dodgeball being thrown at him. Bollocks. ** Same here! * [[{{LittleMai}} My]] sister broke her pinky finger while playing a cushion war. She's kinda prone to accidents, and I usually joke saying that she took all the "breakings" for herself, since I've never broken any bones. * This used to happen to me during elementary school, so much that I could have 5 or 6 severe bone or muscle injuries each year. One of the most [[TVTropesDrinkingGame egregious]] examples is my breaking a finger because a classmate ran past me and bent it slightly when passing by. It turns out I need to take supplementary calcium pills. * I broke my arm falling off my bed. And it's not even a high bed. It's maybe two feet off the ground, and there was a really soft rug under it. * I broke my arm slipping on a toy car and landing on a rug. * This tropers arms, specifically his shoulders, are like this. Not in the easily breakable sense but in the 'Holy crap, are you Gumbi' sense. * This troper recently heard a story that embodies this trope; a young man kissed his GF goodbye, put his helmet on and rode off on his motorbike. While still in sight of the GF (so not travelling that fast) he skidded out and came off the bike. He smashed, head first, into a lamp post, causing his helmet to pop off...containing his head...A subsequent investigation showed, ironically enough, that had the lad not been wearing a helmet, he'd have shattered his jaw and most of his face but would likely have lived. It was the 'lip' effect of the extra inch or so of helmet on the lamp post, that caused his head to be ripped from his shoulders. [[SchmuckBait DISCLAIMER; THIS IS NOT IN ANY WAY ENCOURAGING PEOPLE TO GO WITHOUT HELMETS. THIS WAS A ONE OFF FREAK ACCIDENT AND HE COULD STILL HAVE DIED WITHOUT HIS HELMET. HELMETS SAVE LIVES]]. Still, turns out we're more fragile than we realise. * This troper remembers another story-a friend of said troper stepped

back to avoid a swing, and tripped over her own feet. She fell over an ankle high 'wall' and fell on her bum. She broke her arm so severely that she could touch the shoulder of the same arm...from behind. When she, in shock, tried to bend the arm back the right way, it bust through the skin. Almost ten years after the fall, during which she didnt bump her head, the girl developed Grand Mal epilepsy, and scans showed a 'scar' on her brain, almost definitely caused by that same fall. * This troper has had a sliver of glass, from a window broken by a gently thrown football, go in one side of his arm and come out the other - nicking an artery in the process. ---Go back to MadeOfPlasticine. Carefully. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

MadeOfSin Ever been lazy launching a YKTTW? Messed up a page accidently and then just moved on? This is for when you screw up and instead of fixing your mistakes if you know how, you just get lazy and leave it to WikiMagic. Related to MadeOfLose, but for self-nominations only. !Examples: * [[{{Occono}} This troper]] has been incredibly lazy launching some [[{{YKTTW}} YKTTW's]] in the past, copy-pasting {{Natter}} and not looking out for duplicate examples. * This troper created a troper tales page, and only later realized that it was the wrong trope for what she put there. Instead of figuring out how to delete the page, she just left it there, blank. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

MadLibsCatchphrase * [[Tropers/TheTallOne I]] have found myself using "[Noun]?!? THAT'S EASILY MY FAVORITE [category of noun]!!!" For instance: "MILK?!? THAT'S EASILY MY FAVORITE LIQUID!!!" Funny the first time I said it, and now I can't stop. Annoys the crap out of my family. * This troper recently got dragged into the theater by an associate to watch the movie ''Sammy's Adventure''. Several minutes into the movie, everyone in the the theater, including said associate, got bored, but then we all started [=MSTing=] the movie, preventing anyone from leaving. This troper (who was one of the viewers who started the mass [=MSTing=] frequently shouted "[noun/verb] DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!" during the movie, regardless of whether or not it does work that way. Other viewers quickly joined. Some of the best are: --> OIL SPILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!!! --> GRAVITY DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!!

--> BLACK STEREOTYPES IN ANTHROPOMORPHIC ANIMALS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!!!!!! --> TURTLE MATING RITUALS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!!! (followed by the audience loudly repeating the words "turtle porn") ** Also, at several points during the movie half the theater started singing random David Bowie songs. * According to my school's yearbook, one of the other students in my class apparently had the habit of saying something among the lines of: "I'll soon be starting up with [random sport]" * This troper has several, some of them bordering on OverlyLongRunningGag. One of the most common is "That is the [number] most [adjective] [noun] I have seen in [amount of time]." For example, "That is the third stupidest movie I have ever seen." * If I start making websites, the hits-meter will say that the person currently viewing is the [number] [greatest extent of adjective] [noun] ever. ---Go back to [[MadLibsCatchphrase [name of page].]] ---<<|TroperTales|>>

MadLibThrillerTitle ---* RadioactiveZombie randomly pulled [[DarthWiki/{{Infection}} "Infection"]] out of his arse. He can't think of anything better. Oh, and his RP idea is "The Eagle and the Flag". It IS supposed to be Clancy-esque, but now doesn't make any sense. * SilentHunter's first episode title for his ColdWar RP ''Covert-81'' is called "The Brno Extraction". It's set in Brno, then Czechoslovakia. * [[DaNuke Da_Nuke]] is working on a novel featuring a detective from a technological land investigating a crime in a magical land. The title is a combination of this and a MadLibFantasyTitle: ''The Blood Sorcerer Dossiers''. * This troper's nickname is a certain forum is The Pita Enigma, combining his former nickname and that of someone he makes fun of often. Other people have mentioned that it sounds like a Harlen Coben book title. * {{Excel-2009}}. I came up with The Calwellian Method to describe my way of getting people to stop talking to me. * This Troper came up with a theory: some Disney song titles can also double as titles for Justice League story arcs, to varying degrees of success. **Justice League: Someday **Justice League: Savages **Justice League: The Outcasts **Justice League: Two Worlds **Justice League: Reflection **Justice League: Under the Sea (it can be about Aquaman) **Justice League: A Guy Like You (an ordinary dude gets turned into a superhero)

**Justice League: The Bells of...waitaminute. ---Click on [[MadLibThrillerTitle The Feldheimer PotHole]] to return to Mad Lib Thriller Title. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

MadnessMantra * This Troper doesn't have a specific one, it normally varies depending on the situation. Though, during a week-long breakdown (lots of shitty things happened to me, even shittier than my normal shitty life) I was reduced to repeating the name of a fictional character I have a crush on and wishing I could hallucinate her. It was a pretty bad breakdown. * [[Tropers/SeaMaid96 This Troper]] also has different Madness Mantras depending on the situation. Depending on whether she's alone or not it will either be said, written, or thought. Her latest said one was "It's all OK, it's all OK, it doesn't matter if this road is very thin and next to a car lane because I won't fall, it's all OK, all OK, I'm not a idiot alright SHUT UP I AM, it's all OK, everyone does mistakes, it's all OK". Written was "I don't get this I don't get this I don't get thisIdon'tgetthisidontgetthisidontgtethois" (and yes, my writing went that bad within a short time). Another written case would be something that she wrote in German class while "[[StepfordSmiler Stepfording]]": (in swedish) "kill kill kill kill kill kill murder murder murder blood tears anger paranoia [[HigurashiNoNakuKoroNi cicadas]] kill kill kill *insert weapons here* sadness suicide murder kill kill blood intestines blood bloodbloodblood kill kill" et.c. until class was over... the thought mantras are all the time. * This Troper pretty banal mantra is 'Shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up...', but she knows a person, who in situstions of stress will start repeating the word 'transmission'. Hell knows why. * [[Tropers.ReikoKazama This troper]], just now: "STOPCORRECTINGMESTOPCORRECTINGMESTOPCORRECTINGMESTOPCORRECTINGMESTOPC ORRECTINGME" (etc. etc.) ** Also: "Cold cold cold cold cold cold cold cold I hate winter I hate winter I really hate winter freezing cold my hands are going numb so cold it's so cold cold cold cold cold" * {{Coximind}}: "William stop that. William stop that. William stop that." * This troper knows she's not nuts, and that she must be doing it on purpose, but whenever she has a thought she considers to be 'embarassing', she will think repeatedly: "Shut up, you're dead. Am not. Are too. It doesnt matter." After a few rounds of that, she manages to find something usefull to concentrate on instead. ** Are you me? *** Hold on, let me look in the mirror. ''Looks.'' Yes. Yes, I do believe so. Nice to meet you, me. ** I... I don't remember typing any of this. Though I tend to do something along the lines of "No. Die, die, die, die. Shut up I want

to die just kill me now I hate myself. I want to die, I want to die, I want to die." I'm not usually self-loathing, just when I feel embarrassed. ** Fourth'd. * Before [[PomRania this troper]] was diagnosed with Tourette's syndrome, it appeared that she had something like this; same behaviour, different cause. (And no, I don't swear uncontrollably; I repeat words and phrases, and muscles sometimes jerk of their own volition.) * This Troper once had the misfortune to discover a rabid ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' fan on [=YouTube=] who had "Jacob Black is real in my mind" plastered all over her background. ** This troper knows quite an [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment insane Twilight fan]] who always says Edward ish sexah. Nearly all the time, it is maddening * [[{{Anima}} This autistic troper]] admits to this, both during moments of autistic echolalia and in moments of being under stress. It seems her favorite one is [[JigokuShoujo "Ippen, shinde miru?"]] * This troper has never quite been able to shake "I couldn't fix it". In the absence of alcohol, he usually manages to keep it in his head or a quiet mumble at worst. This is the nicer of the two. When the other one starts it's time to go find a nice quiet room to hide in. * This troper tends to mumble, "It's all right now, he he he..." under her breath or in her head... but when people hear her, it's creepy. * They're coming to take me away, ha-haa, they're coming to take me away ho ho. To the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time, they're coming to take me away... * During moments of stress, this troper tends to murmur one particular phrase. For instance, once, when losing a dog tag she was [[CompanionCube very]] attached to all she could say was "I couldn't find it" on loop. This is usually accompanied by the fetal position if she's sitting/lying down and hair pulling. Describing it sounds a bit like an old movie about insane killers or something, but there you have it. * This Troper watched Dead Silence what is {{High Octane Nightmare Fuel}} to the core a year ago, and upon seeing it she was almost scared to witless. When she was supposed to go sleep all se could do was rock back and forth on her bed, stare blankly and repeat sentence "She is coming to take me, coming to take me and kill me, yes, I can't sleep or she'll come and make a doll out of my ROTTING CORPSE. [[LaughingMad Ha...haha...heeheheehh]]" ** This Troper would like you to not link to that, so she is taking the link away. She just read a single trope on there. And now her SurvivalMantra is coming in to play. ''I don't want to die I don't want to die I don't want to die'' * This troper is a former {{Yandere}} who is now severely emotionally repressed - while this is better for everyone, there are still times when his thoughts run along the lines of, "I want to die I want to die I want to die," "I'LL KILL HIM I'LL KILL HIM I'LL KILL HIM," "leave me alone don't talk to me go away don't come near me don't touch me don't talk to me..." ...and so on. He keeps these as thoughts unless he's alone.

* This Troper is shy and has a fear of elderly folk so you can only imagine her horror when she found out, that her class is going to go to an old folk's home and each student will take care of single elder. The bus was leaving in 30 minutes when we were informed about it and just like that this 16-years old Troper was reduced to the mentality of 4-year old and she proceeded to rock back and forth in her chair, crying and muttering "Oh God, I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go, pleace don't force me to come with you, I can't do it, I'll die of horror, I'll surely die..." She is sure that she traumatized the teacher and few students with her creepyness. She has said this also in few other times when overstruck by fear. * It used to be that when this troper was all alone and really bored, he'd mutter the phrase "I'll kill them all" ''without even realizing it''. Cue double-take as he realizes what he just said. * A much LighterAndSofter example: a friend recently asked [[KillerClowns me]] why I was muttering, "dear Goddess, not the [[DemonicSpiders yaks]]! [[DungeonCrawl Not the yaks]]! Anything, anything but them..." I hadn't even noticed. Upon discovering this tendency, I caught myself muttering similarly about [[NetHack soldier ants, rothes]], and [[DwarfFortress carp]]. ** It was recently pointed out that I also tend to switch into RoboSpeak when [[HighOctaneNightmareFuel right and truly scared by a video game]]. * She has a bad habit of chanting 'hate hate hate hate hate hate...' when even slightly pissed off, rising in volume depending on circumstance. 'I don't get it'/'don't understand' is another common one when upset, often leading to classification as TheWoobie. Also refers to herself in the third person if tired and unwilling to connect to reality. * this troper is having trouble getting past rejection and it amplified his tendancy to repeat things over and over when woried or stressed. "the day you say good bye is the day you give up" and "I've been ignored, abussed, insulted and rejected. She thinks I'm stupid and annoying." are most common. * This troper occasionally gets migraines so severe they cause his vision to swim he will later find himself subconsciously repeating this simple yet somehow horrifying phrase: "It's there, it was there but for a second the shadow was there where'd it go did it see me did I see it?" * "Nice things don't happen to me. Nice things don't happen to me. Nice things don't happen to me! '''Nice things don't happen to me!'''" * This troper has been known to mutter "Cold cold cold cold coldcoldcoldcold" on particularly frosty days. Also "I'll kill them I'll kill them with <insert method of death here, usually "rusty spoons and [[HigurashiNoNakuKoroNi cleavers]]"> I'll kill them" and so on. * "All alone, alone, alone, all alone now." Creepy? Yes. * "Don't freak out, don't freak out, don't freak out, don't freak out, don't freak out, don't freak out!!!" That's me in a room full of people. ** Wouldn't that be SurvivalMantra *** Only if it's working.

*** [[SgtFrog1 I'm]] also like that. Except it's "I can do this." for me. Combined with me being a MotorMouth, the only thing people hear is a low mutter going "[=IcandothisIcandothisIcandothisIcandothisIcandothis=]" * "Must not kill, must not kill, must not kill." That's the tame one. Japanese sound effects usually mean something good or something ''very bad''. Lately, [[AxisPowersHetalia koru koru koru koru]] has become fairly common. * "I am Tamuru! I am your [[AGodAmI GOD!]] I will [[KillItWithFire BURN]] this earth, [[OmnicidalManiac RAZE]] it to the ground and take what is MINE!" usually when I get pissed off at someone. And yes, I actually say tamuru rather than my real name. * This troper apparently does this in tongues. Or possibly just nonsense syllables. Often to the tune of random songs. * "I'm sorry, make it go away, please make it go away, I'm sorry..." Complete with hysterical giggling and rocking in the corner. Oh, yes, nervous breakdowns are fun. * When I freak out, I have a tendency to mutter "Quiet, now. They can hear us, Little One." It's incredibly creepy. * This troper's experience with a stage of ''IWannaBeTheGuy''. -->'''Me''': (Dies) Dammit! (Dies) Dammit! (Dies) Dammit! (Dies) Dammit! (Dies) Dammit! (Dies) Dammit! (Dies) Dammit! ** In my experience that's a fairly tame reaction. * Chocolate milk, chocolate milk, chocolate milk... * Stopitstopitstopitstopitstopitstopit... I'm never quite sure who exactly I'm talking to. * [[TetrisTheGrandMaster ARS is move reset.]] [[ExecutiveMeddling ARS is move reset.]] [[TheyChangedItNowItSucks ARS is move reset.]] * "I am slowly going crazy, one, two, three, four, five, six, switch. Crazy going slowly am I, six, five, four, three, two, one, switch. I am slowly going crazy, one, two, three, four, five, six, switch. Crazy going slowly am I, six, five, four, three, two, one, switch. [...]" * [[TheNoun This Troper]] has a tendency to mutter the exact same string of curses under her breath whenever she's mad, combining this with the ClusterFBomb. For example: Someone takes this troper's parking space at school (which shouldn't happen, seeing as how it has HER F** KING NAME ON IT!), and she'll say "F** k f** k f** k f** k * ss s** t f** k f** k s** t b*** h s** t s** t f** k" until she calms down enough to resist the urge to key the offender's car. Yes, it's almost always the exact set of cursing that I just said. * When I was lost in Disneyland: The world is great the world is great the world is great the world is great the world is great the world is great thew orld is great the world is great the world is great the world is great the world is great the world is great the world is great. Repeat for a few hours. * When this troper gets in a place full of people, it is common to hear her saying "don't freak out, don't freak out, don't freak out, SHUT UP, SHELDON, don't freak out, don't freak out, don't freak out, SHUT UP, SHELDON, don't freak out, don't freak out, don't freak out, SHUT UP, SHELDON (and so on)". In many cases it only stops when I comfort myself by saying "It's okay, you may wash your hands as many

times as you want when you get home". * "Victory: SHOTGUN! HAHAHAHAAH!" You would never believe the story behind that one. It has a bear in it. * "What. What. What. What. What. What..." - This Troper upon reading a specific scene in the novel confederacy of Dunces [[NoodleImplements involving a certain character, thoughts of a dog, and masturbation]]. She continued to say "What" for a good twenty minutes until her mind began to cope with the scene by dousing itself with a good dose of BrainBleach. * This troper has a strong habit of mumbling "[[Warhammer40K The Emperor Protects]]" a few times when in awkward, stressful or dangerous situations. * This troper, in moments of extreme embarrassment or shame, murmuring "I'm just going to cut my throat." And motioning to do so. Less of a harmless SurvivalMantra when it became evident that she was actually suicidal a great deal of the time. More harmlessly, "Wendigo." * Toomuchnoisetoomuchnoisetoomuchnoisetoomuchnoise... I don't deal well with crowds. * "Dead inside...it's dead inside...it's dead inside..." Said anytime this troper's inside a hospital for more than about six minutes. * This troper's isn't really madness, more like "get out of my head" mantra. Normally whenever he inadvertently brings up an embarrassing memory, he will repeatedly say a curse word for some reason that even he doesn't know. * Never any hats. Never any hats. Never any hats. Never any hats. Said whenever this troper has no idea what to do. * This Troper's changes periodically. Past gems have included, "my lovely thing," and "I don't know" (the last still pops up, and tends to be shouted hysterically while sobbing). * Sometimes I write journal entries with a lot of weird crap in them. Usually it's along the lines of this. Generally shading into SurvivalMantra: "work hard, be evil": I have too fucking much work, a character in a book is notable to me for actually thinking it'd be cool to [[WhoWantsToLiveForever live forever]] despite the fact his life [[TheWoobie pretty much sucks]]. In a certain situation where he's [[SuicideIsPainless not planning to kill himself because he's upset]] but because [[IGotBetter he'll get better]] and things will turn out better if he does, he doesn't anyway, he chickens out. This eventually results in a FaceHeelTurn somewhere down the line. If you stick it out, you might turn out evil. So, okay then, turn out evil, [[EvilIsHammy villains have more fun anyway]]. Work hard, be evil. Work hard, be evil... * I recently gave myself a rather nasty cut on my stomach. (it's a long story) Being a compulsive skin picker, I have to tell myself whenever I have my shirt off, "Don't pick it don't pick it don't pick it don't pick it don't pick it..." * [[{{fourteenwings}} This troper]] has a tendency to say whatever he's doing at that time as a MadnessMantra eg 'Trope. Trope. Trope.' or 'Walk. Walk. Walk.' Also 'People. People. People.' [[NightmareFuel crowds]] [[ParanoiaFuel are not good.]] * "You're just playing. I'm just playing. You're just playing. I'm just playing. You're just playing. I'm just playing..."

* I was rendered catatonic for two full years, I had both verbal and physical mantras (I said them for hours on end until I lost my voice). It's just an affect of dealing with shock (in addition to being related to other things as well). In my case it created a feeling of comfort in repeating the same words/motions, and to stop drove me crazy. Of course, I also have Asperger's Syndrome (at a moderate level), but I witnessed others who did not have my condition that were rendered catatonic act the same way. * {{Tidal_Wave_17}}: Whenever things get too bad, expect this troper to look up and start reciting, in a [[NightmareFuel childlike voice.]] "Row row row your boat, merrily down the stream, life it but a dream. Row row row your boat, merrily down the stream, life it but a dream. Row row row your boat, merrily down the stream, ''life it but a dream.''" * I'm sorry! I'm Sorry! I'm Sorry! ** I [the above troper] have another one, orecently used during the whole [[spoiler: summoning of Recummen the Red Gigas]] scene in skies of Arcadia. Word for word: BAD THINGS ** Me too, even when I didn't even do the thing in question, or it was a complete accident. I think it's a consiquence of my Asperger's syndrome. * [=BADTHINGSBADTHINGSBADTHINGSBADTHINGSBADTHINGSSAWITCOMMINGBADTHINGSBA DTHINGSSAWITCOMINGBADTHINGSBADTHINGSBADTHINGSBADTHINGSFina=]!BADTHINGS BADTHINGSBADTHINGSBADTHINGSOMGNOBADTHINGSBADTHINGS * Theywillburnallwillburnexceptmeandmybeloved[[TouhouProject flan]]theywillburnallwillburnexceptmeandmybeloved[[TouhouProject flan]]theywillburnallwillburnexceptmeandmybeloved[[TouhouProject flan]]... * I manage to come up with a different one every time I remember something embarrassing I did, which usually involves the word "bleeding". * Fictional example: In a game I'm running, part of one of my character's Villainous Breakdown includes the repeated phrase: "I don't want to die" because she's extremely paranoid that the hero will kill her, and she's in love with him. Because she suppressed her emotions at a very young age, she never learned how to deal with them in a healthy manner. * Do not fear, Do not fear, Do not fear, Do not fear, Fear is the mind killer, Do not fear... * Random 5-second clips of Touhou music playing out my mouth, looping for minutes or hours until it eventually changes to another section or theme. Just like a frozen Windows 98 game. * This troper always has different ones, depending upon what is distressing her at the moment, but some recurring ones have been "[[{{Firefly}} bullet in the brainpan, squish]]," recitation of the "Monday's child is fair of face" nursery rhyme (this troper is a Wednesday's child full of woe, thus why this one became a MadnessMantra rather than a SurvivalMantra), "these people don't think," and the rather long but difficult to escape "wanna break it, take a brick to its head and smash it into wet and stinking bits, never hurt me, never hurt me..." and its variations. ("It" generally

being her schoolmates.) * "I can't help worthless can't help worthless can't help worthless can't help can't help can't help can't help..." * I've caught myself engaging in this: "shut up shut up shut up shut up" when I'm in a tense mood and my sister is spewing forth a stream of maddeningly irritating drivel, "this is ''disgusting''" (though that one wasn't continuous) this one time when I spent about half an hour obsessively picking all the dog hair, person hair, and lint out of my bedroom carpet, and "there's nothing wrong with my eyes, there's nothing wrong with my eyes, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH MY EYES". (It's better for my peace of mind if I don't explain the last one.) * [[{{Tropers/Latia}} " ________ ________ ________ FUCKING _________"]] [[{{CatchPhrase}} Keep an eye out on the wiki and you might see it.]] * Tropers/{{Zadia}}: [[{{Gorillaz}} It's all desire. It's all desire. It's all desire.]] * This troper's girlfriend just fell asleep at her computer for three hours while I sat here at mine waiting for her. One of my friends suggested she might be dead. I then delivered a grand {{TheReasonYouSuckSpeech}} and stopped talking to him. I then spoke to another friend. This is pretty much all I could say "kill killkillkkillkkoilllikl." I got up to get some water and pretty much said to myself "Need to kill him...gotta kill him...need to make him dead...gotta stab him...gotta shoot him...don't care how I kill him...gotta make him dead...somehow....he needs to die..." You may find me insane, but if you knew this guy like I do...Also, that other friend told me not to go [[{{Durarara}} Shizuo]] on AIM. ** ...To be fair though, he also suggested she was asleep and was right. But still, dude's an asshole. * For this troper, it's mentally repeating this lyric from ''Already Over'' over and over and over. ''I'd give it all to you, letting go of me, reaching as I fall, I know it's already over now, nothing left to lose, loving you again, I know it's already over, it's already over now.'' * This troper knows a guy who, when being heckled by the troper's friend, will repeat, "D*** it Lola d***it Lola d***it Lola d***it Lola d***it Lola! (...)" * This female troper surely loves this trope. She usually goes "Please just turn your back and go away go away go away go away" when she saw her ex (she's still at school and obviously her ex is in the same school. She always met him at recess). Also she usually turn her drawing book (actually an unused textbook) into a RoomFullOfCrazy with "I hope we could become friends again" written almost everywhere. * This troper has the habit of reciting the Fibonacci series, to calm him/her/itself down, or even just to reset his/her/its mental state. And then there are the times when it still doesn't work... * Watching a relationship that should've ended years ago go through the same steps over and over and over makes This Troper-girl think of the Ouroboros, the snake that eats itself in a never-ending cycle. Whenever she thinks about it for more than a half-hour--which is ''often''--she ends up dissolving into a chant of "Unite ouroboros, unite ouroboros, unite ouroboros, unite ouroboros, unite ouroboros,

unite ouroboros unite ouroboros unite ouroboros..." in a dull monotone. * This troper occasionally uses [[{{Homestuck}} "you hate X you hate X you hate X"]], where X is whatever is angering her, when she needs to calm herself down. Repeat as long as necessary. * Yesterday this troper just realised how much she does this. Particularly if I am scared. * This troper tends to say "I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself..." repeatedly followed by [[RuleofThree "Shut up. Shut up. Shut up]] Shh, sweetie, you're okay. I hate myself..." and repeat. * This troper screamed "It's all gone! It's all gone!" after learning that everything in her computer, [[DespairEvenHorizon including nearly three years of world-building had been lost]] to DataVampires. * When this troper played ''Persona4'' for the first time, after learning the identity of the killer, the person who's been manipulating you and your party, playing everyone for fools for an entire year, ran the following through his head as he hunted the killer down: [[spoiler:"I had dinner with him. I had dinner with him. I had dinner with him. [[UnstoppableRage I HAD DINNER WITH HIM.]] ]] * Today (05/20/11) is my 20th birthday. I keep thinking to myself, "I'm in my twenties... in my twenties... in my twenties... in my twenties... in my twenties..." * This troper sings "Daisy Bell" under his breath when he's nervous. This troper is nervous a lot. * Look out for bees...look out for bees...look out for bees...look out for [[{{AttentionDeficitOohShiny}} OOH LOOK A PUPPY...where was I? Oh yeah...]] look out for bees...look out for bees... [[{{CaptainObvious}} (I have a fear of bees.)]] * This tropette used to mumble nonsense when trying not to think about something. out of the blue I'd remember something [[NightmareFuel horrifying]] or [[NeverLiveItDown embarrassing]] and start absentmindedly mumbling repeatedly. Usually "Yeah... Okey-dokey..." or something similar. Whatever phrase my brain pulled up. I thought it was a silly habit-- then I accidentally did it in front of someone else and it was branded as a MadnessMantra. ---[[MadnessMantra Go back to the main page, go back to the main page,]] '''[[MadnessMantra GO BACK TO THE MAIN PAGE...]]''' ---<<|TroperTales|>>

MadScientist * [[CountDorku This troper]] used to want to be one. Probably why he enjoys ''DwarfFortress'' so much. * [[MmmKay In this troper's youth]], I used to pretend to make mad potions out of soda and fruit juices, pretending they were alien and/or enchanted. Of course, [[NoControlGroup I'd test them myself]], pretending to have wacky side-effects, like [[BreathWeapon breathing

weird energy]] ([[SpecialEffectsFailure actually a sparkly pom-pom I'd wave around my mouth]]), and becoming a monster... Yeah, I was ''[[OldShame wei]][[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} rd!]]'' ** Depends on how far back it was. If you were over 14 at the time, I'd say yes, you were weird. Of course, we're all mad scientists here, weirdness is the order of the day! (Did anyone see where my antimatter-spitting hamster went? BOOM Oh there it is.) *** Are you saying weirdness in [[BuffySpeak youthy... youthy youthness]] is considered ''normal?'' Well, yeah, but there was definitely ''more'' where ''that'' came from. (By the way, I think I did this "performance" for my mom... and ''no'', it was ''my'' idea.) *** What I'm saying is that an overactive imagination as a child isn't really that odd. Then again, that's [[CountDorku me]] up the top, so any judgement on "weird" will understandably be filtered through a mind that, at 9, was building nonfunctional mad-science LEGO devices and giving them as many as a dozen different overly complicated names over the course of five minutes. * [[LockonLockon This Troper]] came up with the following: An artificial enzyme that breaks down the phospholipids in cell membranes, an MMORPG character creator-style "Make your own TykeBomb" machine, a ray that removes an object's [[NoOntologicalInertia ontological inertia]], [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking and a toaster that makes fish fillets.]] (Note: No, I have not actually built any of these.) * This troper's niece once conducted a cybernetics experiment involving a furby, a bag of ham and a staple gun. The carpet still has burn holes. ** I think that might be one of the greatest examples of a NoodleIncident ever. * This troper could possibly qualify as a thwarted MadScientist. Let me put it this way, I'm the 'I wonder what'd happen if I add this to that' type, only my preferred field is biology instead of chemistry. Think about it. I wanted to be a genetist when I was younger, but as it turned out a)I had little patience with proper scientific methodology or the paper work that went with it, and b)me and lab equipment didn't mix, so I gave up on that. In hindsight it was probably for the best as I probably would've ended up getting into trouble for doing something... inventive. ** Are you me? Until I figured out that I had the work ethic of a chunk of granite, I was determined that someday I was going to be a geneticist, dammit! *** Nah, I'm pretty sure that we're different people, for one thing I changed career plans every year or so, so I probably wasn't all that determined. * Last couple of days, I read how difficult it was to track down the sex trade and to find both perpetrators and victims. Then I came up with a virus shell that contains a certain RNA when put in a human host would produce proteins which glows when hit with a Infrared or other non visible form of EM spectrum (as a precaution they'll be programmed with limited life-cycles but the proteins would remain with nonlethal side-effects). Willing hosts will be chosen to spread the virus by simply entering the above mentioned enterprises or similar

situations. Then they'll be discretely pulled out after allowing the vectors to spread. Using a satellite imaging system, equipped to emit the frequency of light that activates the proteins, we can track the progress of the vectors within both the victims and willing participants. Through simple detective work we can track down those involved by using amount of "glow" proteins in the body (since virus has limited life expectancy) and the photos from the satellite. Then appropriate measures can be taken.... After explaining my idea to my mother this conversation happened. -->Mom: [Troper] do you understand the concept of...privacy and ethics? -->honjae: screw ethics. ** For what's worth, this troper thinks your idea was actually pretty clever, albeit very appropriate for this trope (your response to your Mum clinched it). But then I'm the 'thwarted MadScientist' above, so I'm probably biased. * RadicalEd: This troper, as a running gag amongst friends, is considered a mad scientist, in spite of not being particularly good at any sort of science. But joking about doing morally vague things [[ForScience for SCIENCE!]] is quite entertaining. * [[{{Eccentric}} I'm]] considered a mad scientist among friends. I suppose my {{Evil Laugh}}, {{Doctor Horrible}}-esque welding goggles, labcoat, and top grades in science class don't hurt. * This Toper is a bit too fond of filoviridae. And tuberculosis. She's just waiting patiently for M. tuberculosis to become completely drugresistant. And spends time figuring out how various infectious diseases could make zombies. * This Troper goes into a Girl Genius style Madgirl mode whenever her muse hits her for creative arts and crafts ideas, for example just today "yes yes! they DO have holofoil paper that will work in inkjet printers I knew it! MEHEHEHEH this plays right into my hands! that's it Amazon, with but this ten dollar purchase and soon I will be printing out designs to run trough my sticker making machine and soon SOON! I will make my own holofoil stickers to stick in my notebooks! LAZER BLAZERS WILL LIVE AGAIN! BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA * This troper is the proud inventor of a device which, by use of an extremely powerful anode, rips the electrons away from things (and people) and causes them to evaporate into a cloud of positive ions, a weapon which fires a stream or pulse of strangelets at a planet, a device which simultaneously splits all the atoms in an object (or person) and a forcefield which works by use of an ionising discharge of electricity into the air immediately followed by the activation of carefully placed anodes, holding the ionised air in a lattice. When he figures out how exactly to produce them, you'll all be on your knees. Ahahaha. AHAHAHAHAHAHA. AHAAAAAAHAAHAHAHAAAAAA! ** I've also now figured out how to link a human brain to a remotelycontrolled body, la ''[[{{Film/Avatar}} Avatar]]''. In theory. It probably wouldn't work in practice, at least until we map the brain

more thoroughly. * [[AuntZelda This troper]] has a MadScientist fetish. It's probably going to land her in [[MadLove terrible]] [[BonnieAndClyde trouble]] [[DarkMistress someday.]] ** Grab your lab coat, you've just pulled. * This troper is thinking up things such as a viral vector to insert the plasmid to produce chemicals that inhibit acetylcholinesterase into synaptic cells to market as a long term BDSM sexual enhancer due to its property of inhibiting the termination of nerve impulses, leading to prolonged sensation, however, I believe sensory overload may be a problem. I also wish to genetically engineer a strain of solely mucocutaneous leishmania in order to have a protozoan parasite that will rapidly eat peoples' faces. Plus Leishmania is normally transmitted by a sandfly known as Phlebotominae, which is close enough to make this actual {{applied Phlebotinum}}. I also already have a lab coat, vault 101 boiler suit and gas welding goggles. * @/RainbowPoof is regarded as a sort of mad scientist by her friends. Even when she doesn't do anything particularly [[{{BuffySpeak}} mad scientisty]], her friends always suspect that there is some strange reason behind whatever she may be doing and that it is all part of some "plan" she has. * This troper has always been considered a little.... odd, but you'll all stop laughing when I figure out how to steal that jellyfish's immortality. ** I will not be intimidated by a man with the powers of a creature that dessicates and dies in humidity lower than 95%, but enough talk,take up your death ray, HAVE AT YOU! * @/MsChibi is now regarded as a MadScientist. A friend of hers put as his status something imploring others to take a stand against bullying (in light of the recent suicides.)The troper was in the lab for cell bio, waiting for yeast cells to incubate with lysozymolase. (The idea being to destroy their cell walls to see the nuclei better.) She then wrote in "comments", "If you must destroy something, destroy yeast cells, not others' lives." (Which, he being a graphic designer and not a biologist, was more than a little confused about.) The confusion got cleared up afterwards. It is now an inside joke: "You'll be happy to know I did not destroy any poor, defenseless yeast cells today." ** You remind me of one of the postdoctoral researchers I happen to share a supervisor with. His work, as he puts it, consists almost entirely of "killing cells and then blowing them up to see how they died". [[Tropers/MonkeyPhysics My]] research isn't nearly as exciting, but I have been known to argue with pieces of glassware, triumphantly declare that "I'VE MADE ORANGE STUFF!" and break out the old EvilLaugh when reactions start actually ''working''. Not that I'm crazy or anything. Not me. No no no no. Honest. * This troper's best friend and, to a lesser extent, [[Tropers/{{Trkzsoup}} this troper]]. My best friend is getting his degree in neuroscience and genetics, which has been deemed by our group of friends as "the mad science program." Together, he and I have spent more than a lot of free time building Jacob's ladders, Tesla coils and moonshine stills, as well as testing the flammability of various objects, making dry ice bombs and messing with remote control

electronics. Studying theoretical physics is a side hobby of mine. Another friend successfully grew cancer cells one summer, just because he could. * This troper used to enjoy mixing fruit drinks with just about anything drinkable when he was eleven. Needless to say, I was the only person prepared to drink them, as I was the only person who knew what was in them. I've also had some pretty mad ideas (one that stands out is why choir's don't ski at the same time, although I've developed some funny theories involving space travel such as why we don't use nuclear power to travel into space and comparing the universe to a spilt bottle of beer). * At one point during an educational role-play at school, this troper talked about "safety parameters" in a DangerouslyGenreSavvy manner when the teacher told me "You're student, not a mad scientist." I've also been told that when I rub my hands out of boredom, it makes me look like one. * This troper, in spades. She may seem like a harmless nonruminant nutritionist/animal behaviorist, but I get dangerously [[GirlGenius Sparky]] at times, especially involving speculative biology, dog training, and/or building things. I also have quite the maniacal laugh. (This isn't a new thing, either. As a kid I was always trying some odd science experiment that sent my mother reaching for the fire extinguisher/circuit breaker/first aid kit/antacids/all of the above). * Yeah I play the Bard in Dungeons and Dragons they all laughed at me, they all said my magic was terrible and that I should roll a wizard. They won't be laughing for long. * This troper is friends with a scientific genius who is also completely insane. As in, he actually highlighted and detailed a plan for world domination. I, for one, blame it on the fact that he grew up on SuperMilkChan * This Troper's discussions with another student sometimes turn towards the comparison of DwarfFortress dwarves and [[OurElvesAreBetter tree huggers]]. I counter his arguments by thinking of extremely complicated machines to render his argument void by [[MurderIsTheBestSolution rendering his]] [[OurElvesAreBetter tree huggers]] [[MurderIsTheBestSolution void]]. We also discuss on how to use medieval weapons in the most effective way. And then some about how quantum mechanics could be (ab?)used [[AGodAmI to gain enormous power.]] [[TheyCalledMeMad We're frequently told that we're insane]], [[InsultBackfire but we take it as compliment.]] * For a chemistry final project, this Troper was landed with...invisible ink. Not to be discouraged for long, he went out of his way to use as many carcinogenic, explosive, volatile, toxic, and otherwise hazardous materials as possible, to avoid your run-of-themill, lemon-under-the-lamp inks... His personal favorite was a simple, innocent, water-based and heat-activated red ink, paired with a second concoction that rendered it invisible again--all fine and good, except that any /consequent/ attempts to read it would produce an illegible splotch and a large cloud of poison gas... * In the 1980s, when he was in elementary school, this troper was a huge fan of TheRealGhostbusters and once made a drawing that, to the amazement of his classmates, explained how he imagined a proton pack

to work: by using electricity to strip electrons off hydrogen atoms and repel them into a stream. In 2011, he built a functional [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LabLee1My-A ion ray gun]] that works almost exactly like that. The only difference is that the ion ray gun uses the surrounding air instead of hydrogen, because electrifying hydrogen in the presence of oxygen would result in [[StuffBlowingUp a big explosion]]. ** In the 1990s, the same troper as above read an alarmist article about subliminal messages. He then got the idea to design an "electronic persuader" consisting of a GameGear displaying an animation with an order hidden in some of the frames. He later empyrically discovered that it would not work by making such an animation on his computer and showing it to someone (that person would become aware of the hidden order). Even later, he got the confirmation that it would not work by reading [[ScienceMarchesOn more recent articles]] about subliminal messages. ** The same troper as above, during the virtual reality craze of the 1990s, also got the idea for a dream-recording machine. It would consist of electrodes to pick up signals from the visual cortex and auditory cortex in the brain, a computer to encode those signals as a video and a head-mounted display to reproduce them. Of course, now he is aware that we would need a much better knowledge of the human brain to make it work. * This troper, in the 1980s, had been misled by a [[LiteralMinded literal interpretation]] of an obscure Italian figure of speech, into believing that it was possible to turn people into [[TheIncredibleHulk Incredible Hulks]] by injecting bile into their blood. He had even devised a possible procedure to do so, consisting of administering choleretics to a volunteer in order to increase their bile secretion, then performing an abdominal incision to expose their gall bladder, extracting bile from it with a syringe and injecting it into the bloodstream (mind you, this troper was '''eight''' when he thought this). Years later, he understood what would have happened instead (death by poisoning by bile salts) after reading some papers written in the 1900s about the same experiment, performed on dogs. * I'll admit, I do love to ham it up as a mad scientist, though my philosophies and theories on politics are the more morally ambiguous thoughts that frequent my mind. Doesn't mean that I'm not the real deal though. I once BUILT a pneumatic kitchen knife launcher when I was 14. I'd still have it, but I dismantled it in shame when I couldn't find a way to stabilize the chosen projectiles trajectory without modifying the knives themselves. After all, a knife launcher is useless when the knives always hit handle first. Some of my untested theories involve a jetpack that relies on thrust vectoring and a particularly potent fuel source to achieve flight without wings. I've also got some some modern armor designs a~la Ironman, but figuring out how to power the suit as well as how to design the articulated joints for the shoulders, neck, torso and hips have left me in the concept stage, as I can't even draft up some preliminary models to test for integrity without the joints. * this troper has an obsession with mad scientest characters. also,while I'm not particularly scince-y, I DO own a pair of goggles

that double as sunglasses ad my natural laugh is quite evil laugh-ish ---Take my experimental link teleporter back to MadScientist - but don't let the homunculus have any sprouts. )

MagicalDefibrillator * Many medical students are shocked when they find out that most medical "miracles" don't work/happen the way we think. This troper's father said (sarcastically) he went to medical school to wear the cool doctor hat things; rub the defibrillator paddles together, yell clear and save someone; and find out why we hiccup. He was quite... annoyed when he found out that his class was the first to not use the doctor hat things, that rubbing the defibrillator paddles together scratches them, and that no one had a decent explanation for hiccups. ** There is a reason for rubbing the paddles together. Before defibrillating someone, electroconductive gel is applied to the paddles to prevent the paddles from burning the patient's skin. Since it comes from a tube and squirts out in a big glob, rubbing the paddles together (gently, not like on TV) helps to make sure that both paddles are adequately covered. *** And even with conductive pads there can be burns. This troper saw a family member being defibrillated by an AED repeatedly - it took 5 rounds of shocks, adrenaline and CPR to get him stable enough to get in the ambulance. Afterwards (he survived amazingly enough!) he had burns on his chest, and the wet pavement he was lying on ''was bone dry''. *** Somewhat subverted with modern [=AEDs=] and Defibrillators. Most don't come with paddles anymore unless they are designed to be used in hospital, they come with combination pads that allow Pacing, Synchronized Cardioversion, Defib, and Lead II monitoring. *** And some units even include inputs for pulse oximetry and 5electrode EASI (next best thing to a 12-lead). Our unit got more use as a portable monitor for taking post-op heart patients up to the med/surg floors, rather than as a defibrillator. ** No paddles were involved the one time this medical student troper saw (properly prepared) people get defibrillated. Instead some newfangled sticky pads with pictographic instructions were used. There was some disappointment. *** The sticky pads are often found on consumer-grade field units now becoming popular with malls and other public places, which are A. Only designed to be used once before being sent in for recharging and repairs...you don't get the pads back once you've stuck em on someone and B. Designed to be used by security guards with minimal medical training who happen to be the first on the scene, hence the pictographs. Newer ones even talk you through it (more or less. Haven't seen one that reminds you to shave the patient and beware of piercings). Current AED protocol where this troper is from also recommends just one shock: after all, you need to pause CPR to administer the shock, and if the first one didn't help... ** On defibs where paddles are still used, sticky conductive pads are

supplied to put between the paddles and the patient's skin. * Along the same lines, many student healthcare professionals are disappointed to learn that not every rhythm is shockable. The various tachycardias and fibrillatory conditions respond well to cardioversion; asystole (flatline ECG) does not. Shocking asystole is a common sin among medical dramas, which attempt to use the ominouslooking flatline and monitor squeal to play up the criticality of the patient's condition, and then have the patient miraculously come back to life with a hit from the paddles. In real life asystole is treated by effective CPR, Airway Management, Epinephrine and correction of what is known as the "6 Hs and 5 Ts," the mnemonic list for easily correctable causes of PEA and Asystole. Pacing is no longer recommended by ACLS, as it's ineffective. Asystole has an abysmal survival rate, and defibrillating it makes that even worse. ** 4Hs and 4Ts are taught as the reversible causes of arrest in the UK - Hypoxia, hypovolaemia, hyper/hypokalaemia, hypothermia, toxicity, tamponade, thrombo-embolism and tension pneumothorax. This troper renewed his ILS qualification last month. ** US ACLS guidelines also give Hypoglycemia (rare in adults - more a pediatric cause), "Hydrogen" (acidosis) and "The Big One" (massive myocardial infarct). * This troper's EMT preparation class recently went over defibrillation and he was disappointed when saw what modern AED's look like. ** Agreed. Our [=AEDs=] looked like Fisher Price toys and didn't have any cool buttons or anything. I was also surprised to hear the mortality rate for asystole, because on TV any good zap seems to bring people back to life. * And there are internal defib paddles, designed to be used (at lower energy levels) directly on the heart surface. Seeing these in action is ''memorable'' to say the least. * Patients do tend to jerk a bit when you deliver a shock, but they don't convulse off the cart. Nevertheless, this troper was quite impressed upon seeing equipment wrappers fly out of the sheets during her first code. * A football player in Texas suffered a very rare medical condition during an away game in which is heart ''stopped beating''. He was on the bench during the middle of an away game, when he just suddenly fell backwards. While the team brought along a defibrillator and his parents were doctors (the away team being a rich Austin suburb), he had to spend a few weeks in the hospital (the home team's hospital), get an internal defibrillator installed in his heart, and end his fledgling football career. * Played literally with this troper's LARP character, who lay comatose in a healing pool after being stabbed 27 times on his second adventure. It was a shocking grasp spell that woke him back up from his pseudo-death. ---''*beeee*'' Clear! Get back on the chest, give him a milligram of epinephrine and [[MagicalDefibrillator try again]]! ---<<|TroperTales|>>

MagicalGesture * I occasionally get over-excited and need to calm myself down, so I'd wave my hand in front of my face to forcibly distract myself to calm down. Over time, I found that my hand tended to be in a certain configuration and it just worked better, for whatever reason. Later, looking at a Russian icon depicting a Catholic Bishop, I realized that I was making the older hand gesture for benediction which had started as an abbreviation of "peace". Why did it work better when I didn't know what I was doing? Either my subconscious was working overtime or I found myself a minor MagicalGesture.

MagicalIncantation *Who else likes to write these for their stories? I do this for my MagicalGirlLyricalNanoha fanfiction a lot, especially when... **[[NewPowersAsThePlotDemands A newly-mage-fied character]] is getting the hang of their powers or a less magically talented character is stepping up to bat. [[JustifiedTrope The official excuse]] is that this helps them focus. **Big, complicated spells. Kyaro (no, not Caro Ru Lushe with SpellMyNameWithAnS in effect. Kyaro is Caro from an AlternateUniverse, and spelling is the only way to tell the two apart) uses this trope for her [[EnemySummoner Unversed Soul Summon]] and her [[FusionDance Unison]] with AU-Erio. **RuleOfCool is in effect, of course.

MagicDance * This troper plays a bard in an online RP based in [[http://aarnblog.blogspot.com The World Of Aarn]]. It was decided that on one special occasion, he would need to do a dance for a prolonged period of time to cast a particularly powerful confusion effect, and so it was then decided it would be the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ze72uyZfY5Q Six Flags Old Man dance]].

MagicKnight * D&D. Orc Wizard. Greataxe. Strength 18. That is all. ** I see your Orc Wizard and I raise you an 18 Constitution Half Orc specialising in touch-range offense spells. *** I'll take that and raise you a one man wrecking crew with a Body Outside Body, Giant Size'd Wu Jen. Colossal size with a strength score to wrestle with dragons. **** I'll see that and raise you 10 more stupid poker jokes. * The pathfinder campaign I was in was full of casters, among them a universalist orc wizard with a magical great axe that he used his intelligence to hit with and a sorcerer with 28 constitution who spent

all his time in a rope trick firing out disintergrates, not so much a magic knight as a magical tank turret.

MagicSkirt * I swear it happened once with this girl at my school. She was doing a handstand, and her skirt did fall down, but in a way to cover everything. * [[@/{{Bisected8}} This troper]] once designed a skirt like this (only on paper) as an intellectual exercise. His [[CoolButInefficient first idea]] involved a [[MundaneUtility microprocessor linked to an array of tilt switches and some memory metals]] along the length of the skirt. His second idea removed the microprocessor and sensors and replaced the memory metals with some strategically positioned springs and hinges which forced the skirt to fold in a limited fashion while still moving "naturally" during a normal walking gait. [[RockBeatsLaser Guess which one would have been more practical had I built it]]? * A girl at our neighborhood playground hanging on the monkey bar attempted to cover herself by tucking her dress in the legbands of her panties. Didn't quite work as the crotch was still visible. * Snug denim skirts were used by some girls to prevent their panties from being shown when they hung upside down on the monkey bars as denim skirts are not prone to falling over. A panty shot could be seen only if you were in the right spot watching a girl in said dress reaching her leg over on the bar. * Not quite a true MagicSkirt, but women who do dance routines with lots of high kicks tend to wear skirts with built-in shorts so they're not constantly flashing the audience. YourMileageMayVary on whether or whether not this is a good thing. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

MagicTheGathering * The deck this troper uses is quite... unique. It's a white/blue/black deck that some would describe as half-psychological warfare, half-beatdown. Beware the Wiplash Trap, for it heralds the arrival of the Inkwell Leviathan. * The closest this troper ever came to a Magic-related Crowning Moment of Awesome was [[http://www.starcitygames.com/php/news/article/2184.html this]]. * This troper had an interesting experience when he was first starting to play ''Magic: The Gathering''. It involved a ''cheating'' opponent with three legendary dragon monsters, and using a deck that consisted of random green and red cards. After his opponent summoned all three dragons (not all in the same turn, mind you), he made a comeback that wouldn't have been out of place in a {{Yu-Gi-Oh}} episode. It involved a [[http://ww2.wizards.com/gatherer/CardDetails.aspx?&id=1922 Spore Cloud]], [[http://ww2.wizards.com/gatherer/CardDetails.aspx?&id=15267 Scent of Ivy]],

[[http://ww2.wizards.com/gatherer/CardDetails.aspx?&id=15264 Scent of Cinder]], and a [[http://ww2.wizards.com/gatherer/CardDetails.aspx?&id=15221 Taunting Elf]]. Two turns after stopping an all out attack by the dragons, a lesson was learned about cheating. * I cast a [[http://magiccards.info/gp/en/19.html Storm Herd]] at 72 life during an EDH game, giving me seventy-two Pegasus tokens with flying. I just laughed after I realized I could've done that three turns ago. * This troper had a ''three way'' tie once in Magic. After fighting against two beast decks with a Samurai deck with only two creatures out (And a hell of alot of preventing damage), This trooper managed to convince the other two players with beast decks to fight each other. One of them knew he was going to die next turn and played Death Cloud, Causing each player to lose 10 life, despite every player was under ''5'' life, Causing a three way tie. ** Also, This troper considers any player attacking all out with a giant army of deadly creatures only to play Fog or Holy Day one of these moments. * This troper heard of an occurrence at a mixed Unglued/Unhinged/Regular ''MagicTheGathering'' tournament. (Unglued and Unhinged are "joke" sets with cards which have some peculiar effects; these cards are silver-bordered and not allowed in regular tournaments.) In a feature match, one of the players played "Ass Whuppin'", an Unhinged sorcery which destroys a single target silverbordered permanent in any game that the caster can see from his or her seat. The other player responded with Radiate, a regular instant that creates a duplicate of the target spell for ''every possible target'' that spell can take. The effect was to wipe out every silver-bordered permanent that the player could see... which amounted to most of the permanents in the room. Not just awesome, but a CrowningMomentOfFunny as well (which is, after all, the point of such tournaments.) * While mild in comparison to the rest of the examples, this troper beat a friend who had been playing Magic for years (and was not going easy on me) on her ''first'' try at the game! * This troper's greatest moment was winning a [=MtG=] match against the Fairie deck of one of the best local players with a spare-cards ''Kithkin'' deck. ''Pre-Shadowmoor block''. * This troper created a deck for one of the Magic Invitational's "Auction of the People" sections. The theme of the year was to create a deck where every card (minus basic lands) each had one word somewhere on it. This troper's word was "No". * This troper was given a deck by his girlfriend where all nonlands have his last name in them, which happens to be Blight. He calls it his "mono-Blight deck". * One of this Troper's CrowningMomentOfAwesome Involved a Five way Elder Dragon Highlander/Commander game. one of the Players, a Naya Fattie deck just got through Bragging about how he was Unstoppable, with a board full of 5+ power creatures. I drew [[http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=204 56 Charisma]], and casted it on my general [[http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=972

08 Tibor and Lumia]]. As I did it, I was able to give off one BadassBoast: "I don't become the threat. I ''am'' the threat." * This troper was playing a game of Elder Dragon Highlander (EDH) in a pod of three players. Since I was playing a sliver deck, they singled me out and started beating me down throughout the game. I was brought down to 10 life and one of my opponents played a extremely powerful card that can destroy any creature and make a vampire token. My creatures included Sliver Overlord, Essence Sliver (I gain life=to all damage a sliver deals) and a vampire I stole from the vampire player. Though I had blockers I couldn't block the attacks due to Whispersilk Cloak and the vampire player put the cloak on his powerful creature the moment he played it and I was pretty much going to lose on that players next turn. On my turn though, I drew Insurrection (untap all creatures, I gain control of all of them, they gain haste). With it I killed the vampire player that turn and gained enough life to keep me alive long enough to kill the second opponent. * This Troper was known for being TheLoad due to her Green/Red deck being a random assortment of cards. Adding to this, she often employed ObfuscatingStupidity to make everyone assume she was no threat. Tired of always being TheLoad, she goes out and buys a White/Red starter deck and booster packs, in which she finds two mythic rares, one being a card that negates any one colour you choose. The starter deck came with a card that gave all attacking creatures flying and lifelink. She ended up winning a 4 way game in a CrowningMomentOfAwesome. * This troper plays what his friends call a Honey Badger deck. Its a green/white deck chock full of cards that cost less than 4 mana to play, based around buffing the hell out of Aura Gnarlid (a literal Honey Badger, gets +1/+1 for each aura in play, can't be blocked by things smaller than it). This troper usually plays 3 ways and a personal CMOA was beating both opponents (each on 20 life) with 2 24/24 Aura Gnarlids (with vigilance, reach, first strike, untap all lands when they attack and draw a card whenever they deal damage to a player) while on 1 life (they knew the threat and both went after me). And lets not get started on the time when I summoned Emrakul the Aeons Torn and Ulamog the Infinite Gyre on the same turn.... * This tropers personal moment of pure awesome came early in his career in a casual 3-way game. I've never been particularly good at tournament stuff (never had the money) but sometimes even casual games make you feel just so badass. Turn one, I just dropped a swamp and passed. Turn two however was a different story. I played Dark Depths, fired dark ritual for BBB, dropped Vampire Hexmage, immediately sacrificed her to remove all the counters from Dark Depths which brought the sheer uberawesome that is Marit Lage (20/20, indestructible with flying). No-one had an answer for him, or a quick way to kill me, and the game was mine. Boom :D * This tropers' favorite moment was during a star game, which is where five people play in a five pointed star formation, and you win when both people sitting across from you are eliminated. I was manascrewed and was the first one eliminated, followed by the person who was my left-most enemy. The person to my direct left was soon low on life, as was my other enemy. Since the enemy and my right ally had teamed up against him, he knew he had to do something, and luckily drew a burn

spell, finishing off my other enemy to give me the win. Who says you need to still be playing in order to win? * My opponent used [[http://magiccards.info/us/en/96.html Show and Tell]] to get his [[http://magiccards.info/sh/en/28.html Dream Halls]] into play so he could start using cards to make me draw my entire library. Luckily I happened to have an Emrakul, the Eons Torn in hand, so I got to cast him [[HilarityEnsues for FREE]]. ** In the first match, I beat him because he dropped an [[http://magiccards.info/rav/en/48.html Eye of the Storm]] onto the board with [[http://magiccards.info/sh/en/28.html Dream Halls]] waiting, and started chaining spells together to try and kill me. I used his Dream Halls to discard a [[BloodMagic Dark Ritual]] and forced him to draw his own library. Best win OF ALL TIME. * This troper annihilated an Eldrazi deck by exiling the whole bunch of EldritchAbominations, and beating the crap out of their controller with lowly Golems. Zendikar is avenged! ** ''Lowly'' Golems? How dare you, sir! The noble golem is more than capable of epic wins, as evidence by my using Precursor Golem and Rite Of Replication to summon ''28 golems'' to the field in one turn. *** Truly, I regress. By saying lowly, I was merely implying that a single golem is quite easily crushed to tiny bits of metal by an Eldrazi. But if we must talk of BadAss golems, Platinum Emporium has kept quite alot of hordes from my throat. * My brother and I used to play Magic casually years ago, and we decided to start again fresh recently. We each bought a starter deck and played; my deck was the entirely "infect" based blue/water deck, and we were a little confused about the mechanics, but we got used to it (his deck was the golem based starter deck). In our second game, I got 7 poison counters on him while he had 4 3/3 golems out with First Strike and I had 1 life left. He was going in for the kill, so I attacked with my 2 unblockable Infect creatures, bringing him to 9 poison counters, and I played a creature that when sent to the graveyard, proliferates (it lets you increase the number of counters on a target already inflicted by counters by one). So he went all out with that creature as my only defense, so I blocked the first hit, sent him to the graveyard, and brought his poison counter to 10, killing him before the rest of the attacks hit me. I was rather proud of that.

MagicTool * It's called a leatherman... yes the 106 attachment version * This troper will always remember that when he was in crew and robotics, the one thing that always worked was a puny-assed flathead screwdriver. ** I've always been amazed at what a flathead screwdriver can accomplish. More than once I've used a flat on screws that weren't meant for it, and still got the darn things out. I've got a MagicTool ''right here.'' <<|TroperTales|>>

MagnumOpus This is the designated subjective section of this trope. Here is where tropers can discuss which works they feel are a creator's true MagnumOpus. ---* Darkmane: I believe that the distinction of [[JossWhedon Joss Whedon's]] MagnumOpus goes to ''{{Firefly}}'', though the series was short-lived and lesser known than BuffyTheVampireSlayer. Lately, I also think that that "Old Man Logan" and "Kick Ass" have replaced {{Wanted}} and/or TheUltimates for Mark Millar's Magnum Opus - If not Ultimates, then definitely Wanted. ---* [[{{Tropers/batfan}} batfan]]: The people at {{Pixar}} have produced, in my opinion, 10 outstanding movies (with the {{Cars}} being merely good). However, if I were to pick a MagnumOpus for the studio, it would be ''WallE'', which was a an absolute masterpiece, and better than all five Oscar nominees for Best Picture that year (with ''SlumdogMillionaire'' as the possible exception). It also counts as Andrew Stanton's personal MagnumOpus, taking everything that was great, funny, and poignant about FindingNemo and taking it UpToEleven. Also, while {{Ratatouille}} and TheIncredibles were both amazing, I would say TheIronGiant still qualifies as director Brad Bird's MagnumOpus. ---* {{Arkham6}}: I think that Michelangelo has ''two'' magna opera. One for sculpture of David, and in painting the Sistine chapel's celing. Remember that he was trained as a sculpture, not as a painter. You could also make a good case that his Pieta is a better statue than David. ---* MutantRancor: Does anyone remember that Akira Toriyama wrote more than just DragonBall? (Only the anime had the Dragon Ball/Dragon Ball Z division; the manga he wrote only has one title throughout. He did not write [[CanonDiscontinuity GT]].) ---* CorwinPunkofAmber: StephenKing's TheDarkTower is better than any of the other media I've seen out of him, although TheTalisman was very touching and wonderful. If you read all seven of the books, though... At the very end, where the Author Breaks The Fourth Wall, and tells you that you don't have to and shouldn't read 'the real ending'... Do As He Says. ---Go back to MagnumOpus, probably the greatest page of this wiki. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

MagnumOpusDissonance * The reason I will never [[AnAesop learn to overcome my]]

RidiculousProcrastinator ways is because, whenever I scribble out a paper six hours before the assignment is due and finish five minutes before class starts, confident that it's total crap but at least I won't fail, I get an A and showered with praise from the professor. When I actually work on a paper for weeks and try to do scrupulous research and even make multiple drafts... well, it's a ForegoneConclusion. ** The same applies with the music videos I post on Youtube. Ones I spent days or weeks working on, that I had my heart set on doing for the longest time and couldn't wait to see the comments and highratings were ''never'' treated as anything special. Ones based on an idea that randomly came to me while I was riding my bike or bored in class and I churned out late at night just for the lulz in a matter of hours always became more popular than I ever expected. ** Me too. The essays that I put time into thinking and planning and researching all turned out to be simply satisfactory, while the ones that I scribbled randomly in my exam, with little coherence beyond the simple essay structure, guess what, High Distinction. I'll never understand how English is marked. * Ditto on both counts for this video-making (and story-writing) troper. Music videos that took time, effort, creativity, and tedious editing? Maybe a few hundred or thousand views. Cool, cool. 10 minutes of [[MassEffect Commander Shepard]] being a DeadpanSnarker, with very little creative input? ''Nearly half a million''. * This trope is why I won't ever write fanfic to please anybody but myself any more. The 'fics that I'm the most proud of I very seldom hear a peep about, and ones I wrote on a complete lark gets piles of gushing praise. C'est la vie... * I wrote several parody/deconstruction fanworks, some of which went on for hundreds of pages. Some got positive feedback, but never became well known on the internet. One day I decided to post a short story in a GameFAQs topic prefaced as a quick shot at imitating a popular internet creepypasta. That story was Dead Bart. ** [[NotSelfExplanatory Dead what?]] *** Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, [[http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Dead_bart Dead Bart.]] * This Troper was given this assignment for her design class: Pick 4 businesses. Come up with 50 new logos for each. The ones I really worked on the teacher barely looked at. The ones I scribbled off when tired and just looking to fill a quota were the ones he loved. * Tropers/{{Excel-2011}}. People only laugh at my wit whenever I'm just making an offhand observation. Whenever I actually try to be funny, I have to repeat myself because no one heard me the first time. Supremely irritating, since I can't know what people actually want. * I used to make Youtube videos. Among them, [[StupidStatementDanceMix Stupid Statement Dance Mixes.]] The stuff that took hours of fiddling and pitch shifting? Nothing. Stupid fad response I put together within an hour? 100,000 views and counting. * Tropers/{{Blazichu}} really only writes decent essays when there's a fire under her ass, but, fanfic-wise, tends to favor fandoms that [[NeedsMoreLove need more love]]. I hold all of my work up to the same standards, but, as everyone does, I've grown as a writer; this becomes

vexing when I've published something new-- something that I'm ''really'' excited about getting feedback on-- and wind up with six new favorites on something I wrote three years ago, in a completely different fandom, instead. It's gotten ridiculous on Archive of Our Own since (as I'm typing this on 6/14/11) I represent the ''entire'' RatchetAndClank fandom, but have only gotten feedback on the one fic that isn't included in that count. And before it comes up, I said ridiculous, not surprising. (Me? Bitter? ''[[SarcasmMode No.]]'') * I make a from-the heart video about [[http://youtu.be/X4jD9zsUA7w Man's achievements in space exploration]] and it takes five years to get to 15,000 hits. I post [[http://youtu.be/vzB8k6SnY7M a video about a breast-bump]] in TheWiggles movie, and it hits almost 30,000 views in ''seven months''

MaidenAunt * [[MutantRancor This one]] would like to start this page with a variation: My MaidenAunt is actually my great-aunt (or, in other words, my grandmother's sister), and her newest possessions (as far as I know) are a recently purchased car (a Pontiac G6, because the lease was up on her old one) and a computer...with a Pentium II and no internet. Which she uses for Solitaire, Solitaire Mahjong, and nothing else. I've heard that she had a boyfriend at one time, but he died in a car crash long ago and she's never had one since for reasons unknown. She's definitely the nice variety, though. * My mother's best friend is one of these. My oldest aunt never had kids either AFAIK, although she was married a few times. * My grandmum thought that my auntie Rebecca was going to be one of those, not having had a boyfriend yet at age 30... [[SubvertedTrope until Auntie Becky finally grew a pair]] and [[ComingOutStory introduced her girlfriend to the family.]] :) * [[{{Tropers/Luna87}} My]] aunt (mother's sister) was this before finally tying the knot 4 years ago (she's still one of my favorite relatives, though) ** I, being the single-and-loving-it type, became one as well in 2007 with the birth of my niece. * My grandma was raised by one. She and her brother were orphaned at an early age and were taken in by my great grandfather's sister. She never married and [[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming pretty much spent her life raising them]]. * [[Tropers/SlvstrChung This troper]] has ''[[BeyondTheImpossible five]]'' of these, counting both sides of the family. One has already passed away. Combine this with the typical "NerdsAreVirgins" thing and some "AManIsNotAVirgin" pressure and this troper was starting to have nightmares. ---Pay a visit to your MaidenAunt for us, will you? ---<<|TroperTales|>>

MailerDaemon * This troper saw something like this happen to a well known player on the server of the mmorpg he plays, even though it was only related to said persons character, this guy lost most of his stuff to someone pulling off a romance scam, it would almost have been sad if it wasnt also funny in a stange way (though, the funnyness is only apparent if you not only play this game, but are also on this server, as it is a server well known for drama) * This troper swears she almost had this happen to her once or twice in her early days on the internet. It wasn't necessarily a romance scam, but a supposedly friendly meeting between two posters on a forum. Thankfully, she wised up and distanced herself from the daemon in question as quickly and smoothly as she could before something really bad happened, and hasn't talked to him since. He's mostly the reason she refuses to go on MSN Messenger, as she's afraid he'll be lurking there. ** This troper suggests blocking him. Then you can go on MSN freely. *** This troper declines that, as she's long given up on MSN, and feels that if her friends really want to talk to her, they can email her. They mostly talk on Facebook (which this troper horridly despises and does not have an account for) now anyway. * This troper's friend met a would-be predator on [=WoW=]. He was dispatched with MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail insults. * This troper [=GMed=] a small online RPG server for a while. This made him a prime target for the Romance Scam, and of course he fell for one. Many GM favors were covertly given out. And because LoveMakesYouDumb he let it go on for 3 years before finally facing the truth. * This troper pretty much feels like one in retrospect, considering a past relationship he had entirely over the internet which grew around a privately hosted WoW RP server. Imagine this as an anti-social teenage girl - a boy around your age who lives across the Atlantic Ocean from you, yet is interested in exactly the same things you are (and can participate in much of these with you), is capable of having run-on conversations with you for hours, compliments you routinely and none-too-subtly and yet is unable to provide pictures? Well, admittedly, my lack of a camera was the main reason said "relationship" crashed - that and the distance, and her very vague fears I could actually be like a more down-to-earth version of this trope (among a few other things). Fitting this trope to a tee is that I probably couldn't get a girlfriend ''without'' the internet (I'm either honest or pessimistic, I dunno). Strangely enough, this was basically innocent, head-over-heels first love for me, and I was utterly fucking destroyed for several weeks when it fell in on itself. I can't shake the feeling that if I had pictures, it could have quashed doubts like that and withstood. Ironically, the webcam I had ordered arrived later that week. Hm. * My friend met this guy on facebook. He had one picture of himself on there, as his profile picture, but didnt show any other pictures of himself. He was very nice to her, and they talked on the phone a few times, although never on webcam as he didnt have one. He was 27 years old, and used to be in the army. He had a 7 year old daughter, and was

a single parent. They arranged to meet up, but he never did, he said his car broke down. Next time she invited him to meet her friends, myself included. He never turned up, she asked him why, and he said he had been there, although nobody ever saw him. When asked about this, he just said he wanted to break up with her. We figured out he was lying about his true identity, as he said he was in the army for 12 years, but that would be impossible seeing as he would have had to be 15 when he joined. He also claimed to be very proud of his kid, but there was never any pictures of her, or of any other family or friends. None of his facebook friends were people who had met him, they were mostly young women. I am glad she never went to meet him alone, as who knows what kind of person he would be. * Soon I will have you, my pretty. And your little dog too. No dog? I'll make you a dog. * [[{{Tropers/Samusaranfan}} This troper]] is writing a WebComic where this happens. One [[RobotMaster char]][[TeenGenius acter]], who happens to run a MegaCorp, decided to find a boyfriend using a dating site after her past few relationships ended... badly, to say the least. The BigBad, an eldritch RealityWarper from another dimension, contacts her on the site using a fake identity [[hottip:*: Coincidentally, she was using a fake identity as well. Mostly to avoid CareerKillers.]]. When they meet up in person, it [[DemonicPossession takes over her body]] and puts her soul [[WetwareCPU in a robotic body]], then tells her RobotBuddy that she's [[AIIsACrapshoot a defective model]] and needs to be scrapped. [[IGotBetter She gets better]] though. ---Go fall in love with MailerDaemon. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

MailOrderBride * [[{{Crion87}} This troper]]'s English teacher's (at least then) wife was presumably one of these, from the Ukraine. And, whether it be an Asian woman or some sort of Eastern European, [[strike:probably]] ''definitely, considering [[{{LandDownUnder}} my fellow Australians]] [[{{TakeThatMe}} wouldn't be seen dead with me]]'' the future wife of this troper as well. * Real life, sort of when a friend of this troper was vacationing in Eastern Europe and married a man on half a day's aquaintance. It was to get him a green-card mind you, and while they never slept together they are still the best of friends many years after that was sorted out and they were divorced. ** ...that's not how green cards work. ** The tradition is still alive and well - this troper knew a mailorder bride while he was in Ohio who was rather satisfied with the experience - although it's usually couched in terms of a "foreign dating site" with "accommodation fees". ** There are a few real-life stories that subvert the traditional setup: instead of the woman coming to live in the West, the man moves to

live with her in Russia. * [[{{axelsonfire}} This Troper]]'s Civics teacher apparently was married to a Mail Order Bride from Korea who left him after she got citizenship. It certainly explains his stalking of the Asian girls at this troper's school. * This troper's family is friendly with two former Mail Order Brides one is now a widow, the other recently got divorced after thirty years of marriage but is now a British citizen and entitled to stay in the country. Troper's grandmother also has a neighbour with a MailOrderBride and her mother's former boyfriend had one who, true to stereotypes, left him and ran away with his money. ---Not too lucky with the local females of LandDownUnder or Eagleland? Get yourself a MailOrderBride! <<|TroperTales|>>

Main [[redirect:Main.TroperTales]]

MainstreamObscurity List MainstreamObscurity works you actually have read/watched here! ---* [[@/{{Frank75}} This troper]] read (among many other things - not in this particular order): MobyDick, WarAndPeace, DeadSouls, CrimeAndPunishment, LordOfTheRings, {{Dune}}, {{Foundation}}, RobinsonCrusoe, DonQuixote, NineteenEightyFour, AnimalFarm, BraveNewWorld, {{Dracula}}, {{Frankenstein}}, the DivineComedy, TheThreeMusketeers, TheStrangeCaseOfDrJekyllAndMrHyde, DorianGray, several {{Shakespeare}} plays, TheBible (yep, all of it) and (careful, now we get political): Das Kapital, MeinKampf and AtlasShrugged. He also watched [=~2001: A Space Odyssey~=], {{Eraserhead}}, {{Plan 9 from Outer Space}}, CitizenKane, the original {{Godzilla}}, DrStrangelove, {{Metropolis}} and many more. ** Whats your job because i would never have time to read doorstoppers like that unless i didnt sleep. *** If you read a little bit a day, you could finish a book faster then you think, and most movies you could watch in an evening. Not that a lot of works applying to this trope are very much WORTH reading...this troper thought Frankenstein was a solid 5, on a scale of 1 to 10. * The MainstreamObscurity page says "If you think you know ArabianNights, think again." This troper doesn't have to. * @/RobinZimm read ''MobyDick'' cover-to-cover multiple times as a kid, greatly enjoyed ''SevenSamurai'' (more so that ''TheMagnificentSeven''), walked into ''[[{{ptitleh3elkyxdypyw}} 2001]]'' thinking it would be fast-paced (a mistake, obviously), read a half-dozen SherlockHolmes stories before deciding he preferred DorothySayers, found Bram Stoker's ''Literature/{{Dracula}}'' to be

great fun, and preferred the more accessible ''ATaleOfTwoCities'' and ''AChristmasCarol'' to ''GreatExpectations'' and ''Little Dorrit'' among CharlesDickens' output. * I, @/{{Vilui}}, have read ''In Search of Lost Time'' (and would rank it high on my list of favourite novels, even though I haven't yet got round to ''re''-reading it), ''LordOfTheRings'' (15 times), ''MobyDick'', ''DonQuixote'', ''TheThreeMusketeers'', ''CrimeAndPunishment'', the entire SherlockHolmes canon, nearly all of Shakespeare's plays and roughly half of Dickens's novels. * This troper's favorite novel is "The Picture of Dorian Gray" by Oscar Wilde. ** This troper would agree. That is an excellent book. * Read MobyDick and i really didnt like it because of the extremely slow pace and it basically being a scientifically onacurate book about whales until the end which was the best part due to it having some of the stuff happening in the book. * This troper has watched ''2001: A Space Odyssey'' and ''Rebel Without A Cause'', and read ''Moby Dick'' (in two days!), ''War and Peace'', ''The Lord of The Rings'', ''Nineteen Eighty-Four'', as well as ''Animal Farm'' and ''Brave New World'', ''Hamlet'' - outside of school, ''Dracula'' and ''Frankenstein''. Going to read at least something by Lovecraft soon, needs to complete ''The Origin of Species''. Has also read ''Great Expectations''. * @/{{Gweskoyen}} actually read several works by the Marquis de Sade: Justine, the Philosophy in the Boudoir, the Marquise de Gange, Crimes of Love. Although he enjoyed them, he can fully understand why most people would rather not read them. * It commonly surprises Tropers/{{JET73L}} when reading that people have less commonly than not read such things or don't even know the plots, but fully admits to having only finished viewing the movie (or stage) version of things such as ''{{Hamlet}}'' (which is more interesting [[DontExplainTheJoke without the annoyingly ever-present annotations]] as long as one has [[GeniusBonus the knowledge that makes much of the annotation unnecessary]], [[CelebrityCrush and also]] DavidTennant) and ''DonQuixote'' (translations of which make the troper's head hurt, for some unknown reason). The troper tends to avoid certain films that are famous for being a [[NightmareFuel Nightmare-Fueled]] MindScrew (never having watched ''{{Eraserhead}}'' and currently trying to work up the initiative to watch the final seven minutes of ''UnChienAndalou''), but jumps right into similarly famous books. It's probably a [[JumpScare visual]] thing. * [[Tropers/{{Igordebraga}} This troper]] has read (sometimes, abridged versions) ''MobyDick'', ''LesMiserables'', ''TheStrangeCaseOfDoctorJekyllAndMrHyde'', ''ThePictureOfDorianGray'', ''AnimalFarm'', ''RobinHood'' and ''BraveNewWorld''. He's seen ''2001'' twice (though he doesn't remember it very much, and the second time, with fast-forward at most times), as well as ''CitizenKane'' and ''RebelWithoutACause''. And played ''EarthBound'', though emulated and he didn't finish it - reached final dungeon, and the PC was formatted. * This troper has seen all of ''Ben-Hur''. All of it. And I was 11. * Thanks to the

[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Illustrated_Classics Great Illustrated Classics]] I know the basic plot of a great many "Classics". Actually read, though? Not so much. I do recommend that you guys read the full versions of ''Heidi'' and ''The Swiss Family Robinson'', though. * HunchbackOfNotreDame: I got about 1/3 of the way through. There was too much extraneous stuff and filler. It was page 50 before he even mentioned the Hunchback. Bloody Frenchman! He doesn't even know what the book it about. I have seen Shakespeare's ''King John'' starring the late great LeonardRossiter but I had food poisoning that night, so the only thing I remember is no mention of Magna Charta. I read ''Dracula'' and wasted many years of my life whingeing that movie versions are completely different. Likewise, when I read ''Frankenstein'', I whinged that the book had no thunderstorms and no Igor. * Is [[@/{{eddievhfan1984}} this troper]] the only one here who's sat through 2001 without falling asleep? Saw it when I was 9; I think it's fucked up my ability to enjoy modern cinema anymore. I've read 20,000 Leagues in an abridged version (then read it in its original form, and was SO pissed off I missed out on a lot), and I'm the only one in my house who can actually watch A Clockwork Orange (does that count?). Watched all of Citizen Kane, as well. * I'm like this with a lot of old time movies and televisions shows. I've seen Network, GoneWithTheWind, AmericanGraffiti, SinginInTheRain, ItsAMadMadMadMadWorld, CitizenKane, DoubleIndemnity, ItHappenedOneNight, ToKillAMockingbird (when I was 13), TheMusicMan, HisGirlFriday, and TwelveAngryMen to name a few. With television shows, I have seen a lot of them -- DickVanDykeShow, MaryTylerMooreShow, ILoveLucy, Dragnet, TwilightZone, LeaveItToBeaver, Adventures of Superman (the really old version that was a TV series w/ George Reeves), TheManyLovesOfDobieGillis, TheDonnaReedShow, DennisTheMenace (NOT the movie...the old TV show), AlfredHitchcockPresents, clips upon clips of YourShowOfShows and CaesarsHour, TheHoneymooners, BobNewhartShow, and a LOT of old school SaturdayNightLive. Musically, it's all about SamCooke, MarvinGaye, FourSeasons, FourTops, DustySpringfield, JacksonFive, Crystals, Ronettes, and so much more. In case you're wondering, I am actually 26 and I watched a lot of NickAtNite as a kid. * This troper has ''willingly'' read, from the things mentioned on this page or the main page, Moby Dick (seriously sounds like genital necrosis to him), 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea, 2001: A Space Odyssey (and saw the movie), 1984, A Clockwork Orange, The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and The Invisible Man (twice). For school, he's read Romeo and Juliet, The Tempest, A Midsummer Night's Dream (and liked the latter two), Brave New World, Great Expectations, Frankenstein, and probably several things which haven't occurred to him. Also, does reading the Silmarillion count? That was freaking ''painful'' to read. ** The ''Silmarillion'' only counts if you not only made it through the Ainulindale, Valaquenta, Quenta Silmarillion ''and'' the Narn i Hiiin Hurin[[hottip:*:sorry about the orthography, I suck at unicode and that's the only long vowel I remember from that title]], but the

Appendices as well... * This troper has actually played Psychonauts, and thinks it was the best game she's ever played. For one, Raz has the same voice actor as [[InvaderZim Zim]] which means [[LargeHam INSTANT AWESOME]] and of course, during the game you can also set fire to birds, basically destroy a town in an inverted Godzilla way and [[PaperThinDisguise pass yourself off as a roadworker by holding a stop sign]]. Eh, it's better than I can describe it in words. ---You probably know how much praise MainstreamObscurity gets, but I'll bet you haven't read it. ----

MajorGeneralSong * In Medical school this troper was forced to view a VHS of "I Am the Very Model of an Anesthesiologist." Hopefully all remaining copies have since been destroyed during the push to make medical education a safer and more humane process. * This troper's father did [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5L_6byjUBXI "We Are the Very Model of Today's Episcopalian]]". He wasn't happy when he learned he was on YouTube. * ACK! This song and the production it's from need to die horribly! Not only is it incredibly annoying but this troper lost his high school sweetheart to the dude playing Major General Stanley ''because'' of this song. And it happened under the troper's very nose and, to continue borrowing from Gandalf and Saruman, the troper did not have the wit to see it. * At this troper's theater camp we sang a staff-written parody called "We Are The Very Model Of A Small Suburban Theater Camp" Complete with all of the requisite GilbertAndSullivan ShoutOuts. * This tropette is personally very proud of her ability to recite this song for memory. Yes, all three verses. * {{@/Unhari}} knows Tom Lehrer's [[YourMilageMayVary much better]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYW50F42ss8 Elements Song]], sung to the same tune. It's quite the party piece.

MajorInjuryUnderreaction A lot of us sometimes just don't seem to care that much when we're bleeding all over the floor. !Examples: * This troper played tag with his friends in front of a mirror. He broke the entire glass and caused his friend to panic. He calmly pulled up the glass when authorities arrived. He also ran to the nearest internet cafe with his friends to escape accusation. While playing some games, he noticed blood on the mouse... and he just laughed as the blood turned into a small puddle. * This troper's cousin(s) came over to my house when I was 6 years

old, and we went to the playground. This troper's cousins were 12. I went to play on the swing and asked them to push me, and so they did. Hard. The swing began to go up very high indeed. I kept yelling at them to stop, but them, being the jerkasses they are continued. Soon, as I was (and still am ><) afraid of heights, I just let go and flew through the air, very narrowly missing the large slide and crashed on the ground. My cousins came over and began checking and asking questions. -->'''Me:'''Ouch. -->'''Cousin:'''Oh god are you alright? -->'''Me:'''I feel alright. Hmm. * When I was 12 my little sister called me from across the hallway to show me something and I naturally ran over. Of course I tripped and my big toe when all the way under my foot and made a crack like a gunshot. The following conversation occured. -->'''Me:'''Did you hear that? -->'''Little Sister:''' Yeah what was it? -->'''Me:''' My big toe just bent all the way back. This is why I don't come the other times you call me! -->'''Little Sister:''' You should go see Dad. -->'''Me:''' 'Kay Limps down stairs -->'''Me:''' Dad I think I broke my toe can I have some ice? -->'''Dad:''' * Completely nonchalant* Sure Completely justified as I get hurt alot. The next day when I went to the docter my entire big toenail was black and I ripped every ligament in my toe and pulled the tendons. The doctor said it would've been better if I just broke it. ** My little sister also does this. When she was about 6 she banged her knee on her desk and her leg bent up the wrong way and her knee got swollen. She just limped up to the teachers desk and ask to go to the nurses office and when her teacher saw her leg she flipped out. Turns out she fractured her knee. *** Again when I was 6 I felt dizzy and my vision got blurred and fuzzy. I turned to my friend and said that I was about to pass out and asked her to help me up to the teachers desk so I could go to the nurses office. There was a line and I just stood there and waited until my friend had to hold me up. All that I remeber is being next on line and then waking up at home. Turned out I had some sort of cold that was life threatening or something. [[IGotBetter I got better]] * It was a long time ago (well as much as 7 years to a 12 year old can be) at school we had a big fucking half hill half cliff and we would play on it alot as a kid I was crushing rocks and stuff, after about 5 minutes, i noticed i had a cut across my whole hand that was bleeding (i noticed the blood, not the pain) and went to a teacher and said "can I have a bandage, I don't want sand in this scratch" (or something like that) and the teacher gave me a bandage, ice, and told me to stay in class, I didn't know why till a while later (about a year later I understood) * This troper once for a completely and totally legit reason kicked someone in the ribs a few times. The guy was unharmed, but this troper's foot was swollen and couldn't be moved. Her response? "Gimme

a bag of ice and I'll just hop to class." She couldn't put weight on it for the next 3 days. * The first time this troper broke her leg, both tibia and fibula were snapped in half and her foot was facing backwards. All she did was say "shit" and sit down. That's shock for you. The second time this troper broke both the bones in her leg she was more concerned about the likelihood of the paramedic cutting her boots off than the general shattering of her lower leg. When she broke her wrist the 2nd time all she did was send her father a text reading "just had my first proper crash on the new bike! so excited! nothing to worry about, just a bruised wrist", and sat at home watching tv for 5 hours until she was forced to the hospital, turned out it was 2 broken bones. * This troper has discovered a talent for this after having been in and out of hospitals (mostly in) for the last few years. The most notable occasion was when he was being given oxygen because his heart and one lung were being crushed under a tumor and saw that the blood oxygen indicator on the machine he was hooked to was dropping. His reaction was to ring the nurses desk and calmly say "The bloodox number is dropping, could someone put it back up" and to go back to watching what was on the TV. * Once, when she was twelve, this troper broke her arm after falling out of a tree house. While her dad and sister were freaking out and panicking, this troper was completely calm (if a little irritated at her family's reactions) and was able to hold a conversation with the EMT about how she had fallen and where her arm hurt. The only time that she started to lose it and hyperventilate was at the hospital when the doctors gave her a [[AfraidOfNeedles blood transfusion and an IV of painkillers]]. Of course, this troper was a [[CreepyChild creepy]] [[EmotionlessGirl emotionless]] [[ImprobableAge child]] and was probably in shock, but still. * This Tropes has always been pretty clumsy with knives and once I acidentally cut my hand (probably a vein) while having a home economics lesson in school. In a few moments my both hands were bloody, the towel that was given to me was soaked and I was sent to school nurse when a small puddle was starting to pool to the floor. What did I say: "No need, this will probably stop in five minutes if I keep pressing the wound..." * After a particularly painful pedestrian-induced bike accident, this troper managed to bypass the panic, instead progressing from standing up unsteadily to screaming profanity after the pedestrian in question to straightening the bike up and riding off. The pain didn't even kick in to anything beyond discomfort until after he'd reported the incident as assault to the police and headed back into town to go about what he intended to do in the first place. Yay for suddenly realising you're having trouble breathing after the adrenaline wears off, for the nearest hospital being a good mile from anywhere useful, and waiting three hours to be poked in the ribs a few times and told that it's just bruising. * [[{{Griffin}} This troper]] has had bad experiences with horses. She got thrown off one, fell off another, and had one fall on her. The first time, all she said was, "Where's my shoe?" and "I've got sand in my shirt." The second time, she did scream, while she just moaned the

last time. Because the horse was heavy. * Wow, horses are a theme here. This troper is a pro horse trainer/rider. 14 years in the business means plenty of falls and other accidents. On one occasion, a hunter I was riding slipped on a wet patch in the ring and fell. The resulting fall left me with a broken knee and mild concussion. I had time for one deadpan line as the horse went down. "I think we're falling." Yep. On another occasion, I got tossed into a fence that a jumper refused, dislocated by shoulder, and fractured my skull. Another concussion, needless to say. Apparently I was holding my dislocated arm and the EMT asked me if I was in a lot of pain. "Not particularly," I replied. "Are those banana milkshakes?" Well, in my defense, I was concussed and I'm always a fan of banana. Last example: I fractured a rib falling off a horse in the schooling ring. I still had a medal class to do, so I rode it anyway, fractured ribs and all (my mother was none too proud of this, but my trainer thought I was gutsy). I finished the round but had a rail down, keeping me out of the ribbons. As I walk out of the ring, my trainer asks me how I'm feeling. "Well, I would be a lot better if the fence stayed up." Hm, for some reason a clear round wasn't the highest priority for everyone else around me... * Oddly enough, this troper will shout "OW" at even the slightest bump, or when she thinks she might collide with something maybe, or even if someone else gets hurt. However, in real situations that by all means should call for panic, like slicing open her FACE on a glass coffee table, she managed to remain completely calm. * ThisTroper once slipped on some ice and broke his nose while talking to his friends in a long outdoors snowball fight, and, with blood gushing out of his nose and several cuts on his face, calmly asked for a band aid and then kept playing and talking for a few hours. ThisTroper was 8, so it was pretty creepy. * I've managed to break a glass in Home Economics class while washing dishes by hand, had my hand in the water, sliced open one of my left hand's fingers, took a look at it, went "Oh looks it's bleeding," and walked over to the teacher for a bandaid. * I've been told I have reacted this way to a broken arm suffered in the second grade... though to be honest I don't remember any of it other than falling off a jungle gym and spending the next six weeks learning to write left-handed. * This troper, while playing tag in a waterpark with friends slipped and opened up his leg from knee to foot. His comment when his friends crowded round was 'Okay, no more running near the pool'. This troper being a TVtropes geek felt a need to be as blase as possible about it. * [[{{Sus}} This troper]]'s older little sister, after breaking her arm jumping down from the top bunk: "But the first jumps went real well!" * This troper had raked the side of his hand across a bent nail without noticing, then went to tell his friend something. I stopped short when I noticed blood on the ground, and her eyes went wide when she saw the leaking gash. I grabbed a stack of napkins and muttered, "Great, gotta follow that trail..." as I started wiping up. * This Troper pulls it ''all'' the ''freakin'' time. With a subversion: he screams about pain and then goes to the next subject,

keeping a cool, yet sometimes adrenalin overdosed head. He also believes his reaction to having some mortal diesase such as cancer would be in the lines of "Hm. How unfortunate. Well, let us try to make the best out of what time remains! It actually makes stuff "more" exciting, since either I achieve something that matters before dying or my whole life will be a {{Shoot The Shaggy Dog}} to my parents! * This Troper was riding her dirtbike when she wiped out in the middle of the road (she was crossing it). She pretty much scraped the entire left side of her body, and as her brother came frantically running over to her, the only thing she said to him was, "Crap! I broke the clutch lever, I'm gonna have to fix that." ** Another time, this same troper scraped her foot up while biking (like her big toe, with the nail...and ew), and as she walked through the house, bleeding on her flip flops she said, "I get to use those sweet Hello Kitty bandaids we got, but we need new flip flops cuz I bled on these ones." * Happened to ThisTroper once when he was around 12 or 13 or so. He was on a basketball team, and on some nights they practiced in a really small room in a church with a set of four steps (the steps are important). Well, the team was practicing one night when this troper missed a shot that bounced toward the stairs. Going after the ball, another stray ball hit him on the back of the foot, which caused him to trip. The troper fell over and smashed his forehead on the bottom step of the tiny staircase. When he came to about a second later, he got up, and felt his head. This troper had gotten stitches in his head four times before this, so he knew the situation and casually walked over to his coaches (one being his father) and said "Hey, let's go get some stitches." The coaches were completely surprised about how calm this troper was about bleeding profusely from his head (which, by the way, didn't actually hurt), and he ended up getting seven stitches. It tickled. He found out that night his team didn't even realize he was gone until practice had ended. * Once I Was getting out of the car when I was about 5 or 6 I got out of the car and my sister slammed the door on my thumb. The situation pretty much went like this: Door slams Me:OOOOOOWWWWWWW * think, If I cry I can get some stuff* Loud wailing Dad:Danielle!!!(my sister) Why did you do that!!! Sister:* shrug* It happens. See after that I got a pretty band-aid and a lollipop and I was kinda sorta crying because the adrenaline wore off and it hurt a little. * The next day When I walked into my kindergarten Everyone started looking at my wrapped up thumb, so I opened it to show them how one part of the dried up blood kind of looked like the Statue of Liberty but then the kid I hated touched it and the fingernail fell off. I told him I was going to save it but the teacher came over to see what the commotin was then I told her the story of my thumb and then shoved it in her face saying Wanna See! she looked at it with disgust and then I shrugged and walked away muttering " It's just raw thumb." * [[{{chitoryu12}} This troper]] fell while riding a bike and scraped along the road on his right elbow for 2 or 3 feet. He got up and immediately began arguing with the friend he was racing with as to why

he had fallen (he said it was moving off the seat while pedaling, his friend said he slipped on a patch of pine needles). It wasn't until everyone watching began shouting and calling for a medic that he noticed his elbow was basically black and red. He still has a scar from it. * While vacationing in Virginia Beach several years ago, this troper's father backed the car up. Onto her older sister's foot. Sister's immediate reaction: "You're on my foot." "What?" "You're on my foot." Cue yelling and screaming and mother trying to lift the car by sheer force. * This Troper tends to be a bit contrary when it comes to emotional responses, so when she accidentally kicked the toenail off her big toe and didn't feel any pain, she casually mentions this to her mother. Cue one epic FreakOut from Mom while I'm just staring at my toe, thinking, "eww". * This Troper cut his middle finger's inside open at least 3/8ths of an inch with a drywall knife. His response? "Ow....fuck." His father's response? Hysteria. This troper wasn't concerned once he verified that he could still move it and the tendon wasn't slashed. * This Troper is MadeOfPlasticine in her own special way - the muscles that hold her kneecaps in place are underdeveloped for the size of the cap (which is too small) and leads to having very easily dislocated knees. Which goddamn hurts. I pride myself on the fact that I can usually just pop it back in and limp on as normal - except if I'm in a situation where it's unsafe to be alone and impaired, in which case I scream. For assistance. Which is more than I can say for half my friends/family, who freak out and go into total hysterics when they see the lump that's meant to be on top of my knee on the side instead. ** Also has calmly walked the length of a street with blood pouring out of her neck like a z-grade horror extra, having fallen and pierced the vein on a stick while playing. I was 11, and my fingers were barely big enough to stopper the hole. Although I was aware that panicking would get me nowhere in such a situation. * [[MisterAlways This troper]] once slipped of a wavebreaker on vacation. He didnt' feel anything, so he figured "Eh" and swam back to the shore, where his father was waiting for him. Turns out, he had three gashes in his ankle that went as deep as the under-skin fat/bone. His mother was crying while he waited for the ambulance, and this troper was just like " >_>" and patting her on the back. While bleeding like a stuck pig. ** (The sedation was worse than the wound, I should note. It was like getting humped by an angry pufferfish.) *** ...The mental image of the humping, angry pufferfish is equal parts disturbing and friggin hilarious. * A few years ago I had [[EverythingTryingToKillYou a seriously unlucky motorcycle]]. One incident stands out, though. Travelling on a freeway at 100km/h, I was hit by a box pilot who didn't bother to check his left side before changing lanes. Was knocked off, rolled across three lanes of heavy traffic into the emergency lane. Lay there for a little while, got up, realised I couldn't see out of my severely damaged visor, took off my helmet to discover that someone was shaking my shoulder and trying to speak to me - couldn't hear a thing, though.

Looked around, noticed my shoe had come off and traffic had slowed down to gawk, wandered off into traffic to retrieve the shoe, and when I got back realised that the mortified person was asking me if I was alright. Answered in the affirmative, called a friend, asked him if he could pick me up since I'd been run over, and then went off to see where my bike('s remains) had gotten to. All this while wearing the [[ClothingDamage ragged remains of my clothing]] and [[ImplacableMan bleeding copiously]]. ** On another occasion I was knocked off the road by someone who decided to turn across my lane. I wasn't terribly hurt, but I did end up having to calm the distraught stranger who had hit me. [[AndKnowingIsHalfTheBattle Indicators and mirrors, people - please use them]]. * This troper had a heart attack at work and didn't want to look weak around the guys, so tried to [[TooDumbToLive talk the boss out of calling 911.]] On the bright side, it contributed to my [[TookALevelInBadass tough-as-nails reputation.]] * This troper once continued to play a game of baseball after falling on his wrist and breaking it. He continued to play baseball for the next 2 weeks with a taped up wrist until he was taken to the hospital. * This troper walked around for approximately 3 months with only a slight limp after a disc slipped in his right hip, rehearsing a play the whole time. It took him falling on ice in front of his mother (the only person who noticed the limp) to get him confined until the hospital visit. At which point he was notified that if he had gone any longer without the corrective surgery, he would've needed a hip replacement. * This troper recently tripped while taking groceries up the stairs in my home, which smashed the bottle of olive oil in one of the bag, and the broken glass put an inch long, 2 cm deep gash in my left wrist. My first thoughts upon getting up from the fall and noticing the dark parts in the spilled olive oil was, "Hey, I don't remember getting any balsamic vinega-Oh dear." My first words upon realizing that I was bleeding from a deep gash in my wrist were a very calm, "Oh, fuck. Dad, get me something to put on this." 30 seconds later, and I'm standing over the sink, with paper towels wrapped around the wound to staunch the bleeding. My next words to my father were, "Call whoever it is you need to call when this happens," followed by a semi-bemused, "Wow, this really fucking hurts" as I stood over the sink applying pressure to my wrist. Then, while my dad is talking to the paramedics over the phone, who are asking things like, "Is he still conscious," I overheard, and called out, "I'm OK! Well, more or less." Then, I'm cracking jokes in the ambulance about how hungry I was (I hadn't had lunch, and the groceries I had been carrying were going to become supper), and that I might start chewing on my right wrist to even things out a bit. I figured, "Hey, I already know I missed the artery because there was no spray, and I can still move my hand. I can't do anything more about it, and freaking out won't help. May as well focus on something else." When the doctor at the hospital was taking a look at my wrist and asking me what happened, I replied, "Well, my groceries tried to kill me." I'm saying this while looking inside my own wrist. As it turned out, I had pretty much missed everything

important (tendons, ligaments, arteries) in my wrist by a few millimeters, and that it would need 4 stitches to close. * This Troper was biking in the woods with his father when we came across a particularly narrow, steep, and rough part of the trail. This Troper, being the rightly reckless {{Renagade}} that he is, decided to go full speed down that part of the forest, leaving my dad behind. The end of this path led to a small dirt ramp that I hit full throttle. This Troper flew approxametely 10 feet through the air, past a couple of trees that most certainly would have hospitalized me had I hit them, and landed on a gravelly road just past the ramp. Suffice to say, I didn't land smoothly and went careening off of my bike. Damages included scratched up hands, a minor concussion, bloody elbows, dirt and rock all over my new shirt, and a bad tear in my pants which did nothing to hide my horribly eviscerated knee (seriously, the wound went down to the ''bone''). As I was getting up to brush myself off, my dad finally showed up behind me to check up, and the following exchange occured: -->'''Dad''': Dude, I saw you flying through the air, are you alright?\\ '''This Troper''': Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, a little scratched up. Wait a minute, let me check.\\ * rolls up pants to check knee, horrified face appears on Dad as he sees what remains of my knee.* \\ '''This Troper, Without skipping a beat:''' Yeah, just a little scratched up.\\ * This troper recalls being attacked by a dog when she was a small child. Dripping blood, she walked inside after the dog lost interest and calmly requested a bandaid from her panicking and freaked out mother. ** I had a similar incident with my own dog. After he bit me in the face, I pried him off, smacked him and walked to the bathroom to wash off the blood while my mom screamed. At some point, her reactions got so [[BigHam over the top]] I started laughing. * Real life example for this troper, while getting PRK eye surgery and having the [[spoiler:top layer of my eye removed with a metal tipped circular spinning toothbrush]], I commented that, "I'm trying my damndest to close my eye." This was impossible because of a metal bracket [[spoiler:they sort of wedge in to make sure you don't]]. Oh, and the numbing drops wore off when they got to the second eye. [[spoiler:"Yeah, I can feel that."]] Good times. ** I spoilered that so nobody else throws up on their keyboard... ick. ** This troper's eye surgery wasn't nearly as horrible - it only involved [[spoiler:cutting into the muscles on either side of his nose, then threading microstitches through and knotting them in the lower corners of his eyes]]. This troper spent a good few hours with no control over his bodily functions, had a forceps stuck almost in his eye to make the microcorrections necessary to finish fixing his eyesight, and spent the rest of the day with the right eye's stitches being murderously painful every time he closed that eye. The only comment he had that day after the surgery was that he realized the drugs had worn off when his sense of sarcasm was coming back.

* ThisTroper recalls the accident involving a shovel sliding forward into his face. (Digging a snow fort, long story.) Immediately after the accident, I was the only one who knew the number for an ambulance. It was not 911 at the time, and I was the YOUNGEST of all the people involved. Everyone else was marveling that I had gotten into another ambulance worthy accident or going EWW! when I showed them the gash. Before I got into the ambulance I had to calmly tell the police officer that yes, it was an accident and not deliberate. ** Another example, from me, no ambulance this time. In an odd set of circumstances, I ended up hanging off the side of one horse while getting kicked by a second horse before falling to the ground. I hit the ground and stop to do an "injury check" (AKA: Saying to myself "What hurts" and mentally mapping injuries.) while everybody else went "OhCrap" I pop back up and tell them they don't need to call an ambulance, because I know I'm not that badly hurt. ** For the record, the above horse related incident left me with bruises on my left hip, bruises up the whole of my back, and a nice hoof shaped bruise on my left forearm. And in all fairness to the people who panicked while watching, had my left arm not been where it had been; the horse's hoof would have hit my face. And yes, I go "OhCrap" after the fact because a hoof to the face is one of the easiest ways to get killed by a horse. ** Still, both times, I'm calm and conversational. * This troper's mother was wheeled into the OR to have a C-section, where the doctors neglected to give her enough medication for numbing, relaxation, or anything. Her entire response as they began to CUT INTO HER? "Um, I can feel that." * This troper was taking the trash out when he was young. He dropped a glass jar that shattered and cut his foot open. Seeing this, he calmly hopped on one foot back to the back door to get something to help. He then spent the next five minutes standing outside with blood dripping down his foot while his parents scrambled for a towel to cover the wound. The tetanus shot at the doctor's later made him more afraid than the actual wound. * When [[HappyFork This Troper]] lived in his first house, he had a noticeably old hot tub in the back yard. Being only 6 or so, he decided to try it out. You know those metal rings around the jets? They can come loose, and they're sharp. One of those cut his toe open and his first reaction upon exit: "Cool, I'm bleeding." * This troper embodies the trope. Four-inch long cut along his bicep? A gash in the head that required about a half hour of work to stop the bleeding? "Meh." He's long since gone from under reacting to plain apathy. * this troper got 2nd and 3rd degree burn on her arm and responded by calmly walking to her grandma and saying " I think I did something" at the age of freaking 6. * {{Eban}}, at age of 21 or so went to the work nurse due to an episode of [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ventricular_tachycardia ventricular tachycardia]]. When she tried to take my pulse she lost count at 90, using the 15 second count multiply method. Apparently a pulse over 360 disturbed her. In the midst of her panic attack I pointed out that wasn't as fast as I've had it going and I was fine.

Now a couple years later I may have been concerned as it stopped my heart once. It [[CaptainObvious restarted]]. Other tales include getting spurred by a rooster, I walked calmly back into the house. My older brother took one look at me, covered in blood turned around and puked. My mother thought I'd lost my eyes since they were so full of blood. Then there was the 3rd degree burn down my right arm where I fell on a camp stove, or slicing my thumb to the bone on a makeshift sled. * This troper once cleanly snapped his forearm in two with a wellplaced kick. He had an extra, 72-degree bend in the middle of his radius and ulna. His first thought? "Wow, that happened to someone in a Star Trek book once! Am I dreaming?" Queue the screaming five minutes later as the adrenaline wore off. Luckily, by then concerned teachers had cleared everyone out of the room, so the first few minutes of non-reaction ended up with him, for the first time in his life, being MistakenForBadass. * this troper is a little accident prone and has done this often. ** at one point she managed a rather spectacular dislocation of her big toe and just shrugged and wiggled it until it popped back into place. it was still bad enough her foot swelled up to the point she couldn't get her shoe on for a few hours. ** at another point she managed a rather spectacular fall which resulted in her knee getting messed up enough she had a knee immobilizer on for a month. her reaction to that fall was a rather calm "well, that's not good..." when she realized ahe couldn't straighten her knee or get back up on her own. ** when this troper wound up in the hospital nearly dead because of acute e. coli that caused kidney failure and toxic shock she was initially more concerned with telling the staff there not to apologize every time they had to stick her with a needle to get blood or inject stuff into her. after she woke up after passing out because of the infection and she wasn't able to lift her arms her first thought was a rather calm "that's not a good sign" - granted, after she'd recovered a little and took her off her morphine drip and her head cleared up she was more worried, but she was still more annoyed at being left alone too much and being bored than anything else. * As a child this troper had a habit of MinorInjuryOverreaction so when, having cleanly sliced my knee down to the bone on a concrete step I calmly told my mother that I had 'sliced my knee open' she wasn't all that worried, even saying 'I can see my kneecap' (still calmly, since I wasn't actually feeling any pain yet) wasn't enough to make her hurry toward me. It was perhaps my sister's urgent screaming and out-of-character swearing that fully made the situation clear. As it was I didn't start my usual wailing until the copious amounts of blood began to pour from it. Afterward I made my mother pay for her lack of maternal instenct by having her carry me everywhere until the doctor said I should have been hobbling by myself. * This troper once sliced their thumb wide open cutting up a walnut fruit. Walking to the sink I called for my sister who had some friends over and was socializing. It took me about four minutes to actually convince her to come over because my voice was so slagging calm and I didn't think to say I was injured and bleeding. She then proceeded to

fetch the parents who gave me the band-aids I wanted from the beginning since I didn't want to leave the sink and bleed all over the floor. (to my immense pleasure I caught all the blood in my hands before I got to the sink. No clean up, yay!) It was only when all her friends crowded around to see the gusher that was my thumb, that I started to react. I have a fairly large personal space bubble that I ''hate'' having intruded upon, and I still have the 90 degree dart shaped scar but which has since shrunk to a quarter inch in length. * While riding a bicycle down a fairly steep ramp, this troper had a great fall. He doesn't exactly remember how much injured he was, but he managed to ride all the way back home, and promptly scare the daylights out of his mother because supposedly he was "covered in blood". He did feel the force of the injury afterwards, though - he couldn't really walk for two days. * This runs in my family. My dad broke his collarbone diving for a catch in softball, and calmly said "I just broke a bone." When I broke my nose, I said, "This is excruciatingly painful. Go get a doctor, [[VerbalTic ya?]]" ** Even more proof my family is either BadAss or TooDumbToLive. My little brother took a baseball to the face, and knocked out his front tooth. He came home, covered in blood, and holding his tooth in his hand, prompting this exchange. -->'''Me:''' You get in a fight with a lawnmower? -->'''Brother:''' Nah, took a baseball to the face. Say, could you get some milk? My tooth got knocked out. -->'''Me:''' Sure. You want a rag to wipe that blood up? -->'''Brother:''' Yeah. Oh, hey mom. -->'''Mom:''' * completely freaks out* * [[MajorTom This Troper]] once had this reaction after an incident at work. While I was driving the 4-wheeler trying to get some of the boats down to the lake (was working at a mountain resort style business) was turning around with a trailer and went a little too steeply up a hill. The 4 wheeler overturned and threw me clean from it. I landed on some rocks after tumbling once and the 4 wheeler [[CouldHaveBeenMessy nigh landed on me.]] So here I am bashed up a bit and scratched all over and my biggest concerns are A) did I break the ATV? and B) can I get the trailer put back on? (It having separated from the 4-wheeler during) Fortunately, the trailer could be reattached and the ATV was fine. Me however I didn't even go for a bandaid. * This troper once decided to go climbing on the outside of a tree fort. When told to get down as fast as possible, she attempted to comply, resulting in falling. For some reason, it occurred to her that grabbing on tight to the tree would help slow her descent - instead, it shredded the soft tissues of her arm from wrist to elbow. Imagine raw hamburger. Rather than screaming, she calmly walked to her mother and asked for a band-aid. ** This same troper also once broke a toe at Christmas dinner, thanks to her much heavier brother sitting down in a chair while that chair's leg was still over her foot. Rather than delaying dinner to check out the damage (the snapping sound was audible two rooms away), she reassured her family that it was fine and weren't they all getting

hungry? ** The same troper, yet ''again'', badly sprained her ankle on a vacation in Yellowstone. After the first few minutes of clutching her ankle and attempting not to scream, she began cracking jokes rather than contemplate whether it was broken. Then when her father arrived to heroically carry her up to the campsite, she spent most of the trip very seriously informing him that he had better not drop her ass-first into the river they were crossing. Because then she would be wet, see, and that just wasn't acceptable. * This Troper once got his hands dipped in molten asphalt, and managed stay calm, jog home, and turn on some cold water before shock set in. Of course, Reynaud's syndrome, surface nerve damage and cold weather helped quite a bit. * A few years ago when bike riding down the street with a couple of friends I hit a car with my bike. This caused me to go spiraling down the road and I essentially slashed my left knee open. Blood was FLOWING down my leg, staining the ground, my pants and my sock. People from across the street came running to me and a guy who saw me from the top of his house ran down with a medical kit. It didn't even sting a bit. I just wiped up the blood, bandaged it and walked back home. * This troper once got hit hard enough in a soccer game to get a concussion and severe whiplash. She could here the spectators on her side's concerns (and jeers towards the girl that had hit her). This troper got up (they were surprised she could even stand), and said, "what?", in a very deadpan way. Then, continued to play. * When she was little, this troper broke a glass cup and a huge chunk of glass got stuck in her foot. Instead of freaking out, she casually hid from her grandmother because she was scared her grandma would get mad at her. * This troper has found she has a rather high pain threshold when it comes to impacts. She once got her foot hit by a car, which mustn't have been going that fast (and really, it was her own fault since she was walking on a no-walk signal), and while it didn't bruise or break anything, she should have been limping at the pain. Another time, the brakes on her bike got too slick (it was raining) and she crashed into a car that had stopped in her path. She walked off with maybe a couple bruises and a jammed finger, but acted like nothing happened. Yet another time, she got smacked in the face twice by a soccer ball in one game. The second time had her laughing like a maniac (which could have meant she got a concussion, but she felt fine) because it was bloody funny and just her luck that she would get hit on one side of her face, then within 10 minutes get beaned on the other side. While not very serious injuries, she's definately taken the bigger ones she's gotten in stride. * This troper doesn't react much to most kinds of pain, always saying after being hit hard in the knee by something, which happens a lot, that she has joints of steel. She also thinks her face has become a magnet for sports balls lately so getting smacked in the face with a basketball makes her laugh more then anythhing. And the thing that suprises every doctor is that she was never afraid of needles. Although she also annoys them when she bursts out in "I Wanna Be Sedated" everytime...

* [[CrazedNinja My]] reaction to burning my hand after picking up a scalding hot brownie? "This was a bad idea." * [[{{Mabus}} This Troper's]] eye infection was misdiagnosed because he entered the doctor's office not screaming in pain and clutching his eyes. Apparently acanthamoeba infections are visually indistinguishable from herpes-viral infections without powerful magnification or a biopsy, but normally result in excruciating pain. * When this troper was 14, she sliced a three-inch gash in her leg with her ice skate blade, and only noticed that anything was wrong when she saw blood on the ice. She then went over to her mom and said, "Does this mean I have to go get a tetanus shot and miss the rest of my lesson?" and was really more upset about that and about ripping her stockings than anything else. To this day, there is a tiny spot of her blood under the layers of ice that the zambonis have put down since then. She finds that incredibly cool. * When [[{{Somerandomdude}} this troper]] was 10, he got hit [[EyeScream square in the eye]] with a baseball going between 40 and 50 mph. His response? "Get me an eyepatch, I've always wanted an excuse to play pirate." * A friend of mine once accidentally cut his finger with a breadslicer. According to him, his reaction to cutting into his finger about half an inch and the finger partially splitting apart went something like this: Cuts finger,finger bleeds insanely, raises hand, looks at it and calmly says: "Mom, could you please come here for a second?" * The summer after 4th grade I fell off a ladder onto the floor of a room that used to be a garage (so there was concrete under the carpet). I kept telling my mom that I was just being overdramatic about the pain and went to sleep. The next day she forced me to go to the hospital, where we found out I had broken my arm. ** (From the above troper) A few years later I crashed an ATV at a 4th of July party and was catapulted a few feet. I was stunned for a moment before getting up and walking from the trail back to the party (which was only about 30 feet away). After a week of insisting that it was only a sprain I was dragged to the hospital (again) and told it was both broken and dislocated. The break healed, but it's still not completely relocated (that was 6 years ago). Now, as of me writing this, I suspect my foot may be broken (of course, I won't find out unless someone drags me to the hospital). * @/FarseerLolotea, at the age of about ten, "scraped" her calf rather deeply on a jagged piece of metal. A moment later, her mother noticed a blood-stained sock and freaked out. * [[GalenDev This Troper]] has a friend who managed to cut his hand open while playing with swords. His first reaction was to call me and tell me to record ''{{Alias}}'' that night since he'd be in surgery. I didn't know how to comprehend his nonchalance. * [[{{MiraShio}} Mira-chan]], being an ice-skater, is no stranger to injury. After nearly getting her thumb sliced off--because she slipped and accidentally pulled her very tall coach along, causing him to skate right over her thumb with a really sharp, professional blade-she laughed hysterically. * At the age of around 8 or 9, while playing on the ground, This

Troper ended up with a large gash (White meat/fat was visible) on his foot. After calmly fetching a red towel (Chosen specifically to avoid visible blood stains.) He walked to his father's room and sat calmly watching Jeopardy with him for around five minutes before being asked what was up. A frantic rush to the ER ensued. * This Troper was working as a cook at a restaurant when she noticed that her co-worker (who didn't speak English very well) had cut his finger badly, was dripping blood, but was going about his work like nothing happened. I was freaking out, trying to remember the Spanish for "Jesus Christ! Your finger is bleeding!" (BTW, it's "Jesucristo! Su dedo es sangrando!") When I settled on grabbing his hand and showing it to him, he just shrugged. The boss made him put on a BandAid and a rubber glove. * This troper has a mild case of epilepsy and whenever he has a seizure usually ends up in the hospital for the night afterward. My mother and father usually follow along. Usually around 20-30 minutes after my after seizure headache is relatively under control, I start to return to normal and me and my father start trading sarcastic barbs and jokes like nothing happened. Usually because it's three in the morning, we're bored, there's nothing on TV, and we'd much rather be anywhere else. And this is while my mom is in freak out mode. This led to a funny exchange. -->'''Mom:''' You just had a seizure! How can you make jokes at a time like this, -->'''Me:''' Like this. Why did the chicken cross the road? -->'''Dad:''' I dunno. -->'''Me:''' Because he was on the side of the road with the KFC. -->'''Mom:''' You almost gave me a heart attack. -->'''Dad:''' Well if you're going to have one, have it now. Cardiology's up one floor from here. -->'''Me:''' And I hear they got that hot Asian chick on staff up there. Can you ask her for a photo of her naked? -->'''Mom:''' * leaves room in exasperation* ** In another seizure incident, my uncle came to the hospital to visit us while we were waiting for the doctor to visit. The whole thing got cranked up to 11. * I'm usually the exact opposite for this trope, but, on one occasion, when I was seven or eight, while walking through Stockholm zoo, which, at this time at least, had paths made of small stones and rocks, I fell over, and sliced my knee open on one of these jagged stones. It was really bad; it cut, like, right into the muscle, but I just got up without even feeling it, and I walked all the way home with my parents without complaining so they could treat it. I've also had a kick stand from a bike break off and get lodged in that same leg. The PowersThatBe must really hate my knee. * This troper once cut her knee wide open on a broken bottle and didn't even notice until she saw the blood. That did it. ** I also have a vague memory of getting attacked by a wild cat when I was about three and cheerily toddling about with blood running down my face, completely oblivious.

* The first time this troper fainted (ironically, it was a result of MinorInjuryOverreaction), she was like "Uh, I only fainted. I'll be fine." * This troper got in a fight at school (during the morning). By the end, his ankle had been pretty much shattered, along with his wrist being bent at a 120 degree angle, backwards. Wrist popped back into place easily. Ignored the searing pain in my ankle, figuring it was just another sprain. Cut to four hours later, last period of the day, "Could I get a pass to the nurse? My ankle really hurts." Four minutes later, at the end of the hall, several friends caught up to me with a chair and scooped me up, telling me I shouldn't be walking on my ankle. It was swollen to the size of a baseball, and I was on crutches for a few days. Combined with Healing Factor, I was fully back to normal two days later. * This troper accidentally stepped on a large glass shard (from a glass that a sibling had dropped earlier and neglected to clean up) and sliced open the bottom of her foot. She barely noticed, thinking she'd stepped on a lego, until her dad went into hysterics at seeing the trail of blood from it. * Doing dishes about four years ago when i was 14, i dropped a glass tumbler that I was drying; needless to say it shattered, then bounced UP and cut halfway throught the bottom of my foot, since I was trying to dodge. After falling on my butt, "Hey, I think there's a piece of glass between my bones." [[spoiler:No, it was just my bones grating together and almost snapping each other.]] * This Troper seems to have an inverse relationship between the amount pain/ seriousness of an injury and the amount he reacts. Burns the tip of his finger slightly: Bitches endlessly and swears. When he gashes his finger and nearly taking off his finger tip: "oh". He seems to have inherited this from his father, who upon dropping a trailer hitch on his finger(he was off a little and thus decided to move it manually) he muttered "oh" despite the fact his finger was quite literally flattened. This troper's family will not do shit if someone screams in pain/swearing, but will run people over when a family member doesn't react strongly to a painful injury. * this troper has discovered a unique talent for this. one time when about 11 or 12 I decided to do the stupid thing and havd a go on an old rope swing over a very steep embankment where the highest point was recorded at 50+ meters, well I swung out fine but on the return the rope began to give causing me to lose my grip and fall hittin the embankment feet first bouncing off and rolling down into a pile of logs where after comming to a stop looked down at my right hand to see it now in a Z shape with the hand and wrist somewhere between where his wrinst should have been and his elbow, chuckling to myself I watched my friend rush down to check on me while a seccond friend rushed to get my father only for the following to occur -->'''friend''' you ok, do you need a hand? -->'''me''' * raises arm to show the mangled mess* I think I may need more than a hand, like maybe a doctor -->'''friend''' * gawps* y..y...your.... your arms * faints* -->* other friend soon arrived with my father only to see me dragging the unconcious friend up the nearly 70 degree embankment with my one

good arm* -->'''father''' what have you done now? -->'''me''' you know I could use a hand here as you know * shows arm* as I only gone one good one right now -->(on a side note it was well timmed as it was 1 week before returning to school for the start of the school year meaning 5 weeks of getting out of actually doing work) * This troper had been told that she had an weird high tolerance for pain, even when she was a toddler falling down a flight of wooden rusty stairs and merely got back up, giggling while saying she was alright and never cried when she got a needle and barely reacted when she got them. Heck, during a science expo for her school, a snake bit and latched onto her arm and she calmly asked the teacher how to get it off (probably helped that this troper loves animals and knew the snake wasn't poisonous, as well as carried the ''IdiotBall'' after she realized she forgot to wash her hands after holding her pet guinea pig). One particular underreaction was when this troper was 12 years old and had been going around a cul-du-sac on a sloped hill on her bike at high speed after it was JUST fixed and crashed right into a large (a foot higher than me) block of wood that they use to build houses, flying off her bike and onto the asphalt of the driveway. She was bleeding from her lip and had several scraped. Her father and uncle, who had been watching, rushed to her side and something like this happend: --> '''Troper''' Wow, I probably should have [[BlindWithoutEm worn my glasses]] --> '''Dad''' Troper! Are you okay! --> '''Troper''' Yep, I'm alright, all I need is a tissue. --> '''Uncle''' Troper, you are not fine! You're bleeding! Go inside and change your shirt, it has alot of blood on in. I'll call the doctor. --> '''Troper''' Alright. But really, I feel fine. At the end of everything, the troper needed 8 stitches for her lip and several bandages and medicine for the infection, her bike was totalled beyond repair, she had to throw one of her favorite shirts away and she was more upset that she had to go to school with stitches on her lip than anything else. * Last winter my friend and I were mucking horse stables for his mom after some heavy snow fall. The snow was pretty deep and had come pretty suddenly the night before, which meant the stable and adjacent field was a virtual land mind of hidden tools. I tripped over what we later found out was a snow shovel of all things and landed hands to brace me into the snow, which put a piece of shattered metal right through my hand. My friend(third year paramedic) and my(just a few credits from graduating engineer) went as followed, completely dead pan: -->'''Me:''' :turns over slowly, sighs: Looks like I've stabbed my hand. -->'''Friend:''' I'll grab my keys. -->'''Me:''' And a bowl(for the blood). -->'''Friend:''' And a bowl. * I stubbed my toe on a broken piece of ceramic tile a few months ago

while helping my sister with a school project. I just shrugged and continued helping her. I didn't notice anything was wrong until at least ten minutes later when she yelled at me because I was getting blood all over the project. Turns out I broke it, and had been bleeding all over the floor the entire time without knowing it. Justified, in that I'm the biggest klutz I have ever met, and get minor and major injuries on a regular basis, so I just tend to not even notice anymore. * Not a particularly major injury, but in this troper's chemistry class we were testing alkaline metals in water outdoors, he got too close to the fizzing sample of [[MadeofExplodium potassium]]. It exploded (or burst if you want to be less dramatic ([[RuleofDrama though why would anybody want to be?]] (and also, [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotAwesome score]], brackets within brackets))) and a piece burned into his cheek, and despite hurting like hell a moment or two later, his initial reaction was basically *scratchscratchscratch* "Ow. Fuck." * I was mugged once. They hit me in the head with a broken bottle, tripped me and took off with the two pizza boxes i was carring. Blood gushed out of my wound, covered half of my face, made a mess out of my shirt, and was trickling in the floor. I though "They took my pizza! Those bastards! I really wanted some pizza...". I got up, dusted myself, and started walking, leaving a trail of blood. A bit further ahead there was a small group of people, who looked very surprised/scared/confused when i went up to them, dripping blood, and said "Good evening". I was planning on goind to my apartment (just a couple of blocks away) and ask my roomate, who is a vet student, to give me some stitches if i needed them (and to scare the hell out of her by ringing the door, leaning against the frame, and when she opened it, raise my hand towards her dramatically, saying "Ro... roomate...", i have been told that doing so would have been pretty dick-ish from me) but those people insisted in walking me to the hospital. ** [[MurderArsonAndJaywalking They took your]] ''[[MurderArsonAndJaywalking pizza?]]'' '''[[KnightsTemplar Those evil motherfuckers!!!]]''' * This troper's friend fell and broke her arm, told her parents it was nothing and that they were overreacting, put some ice on it, ''carved a pumpkin'', told her parents that they were overreacting and it was nothing, played on the swings, told her parents that it was nothing and they were overreacting, was finally forced to go to the hospital where they discovered it was broken. * This troper once chopped a good bit off of his thumb. His response? "MOOOOM! I NEED A BAND-AID!" cue trip to hospital, completely ruining the camping trip we were on. * Recently went on a weekend camp trip to Loch Tay with some friends. First night, one of my friends was indiscriminately swinging around the mallet I'd brought for the tent pegs. The head flew off mid swing, and I was sitting in the wrong place at the wrong time. The result: A fairly painful blow to the head, a worrying amount of blood and me lying there being bandaged and tended to by the others, but still staying concious, calm and even making sarcastic jokes. That's

apparently enough to make people call you "heroic". * A few years ago, [[Tropers/AnthonyMercer I]] was taking a dinner plate into the kitchen [[TooDumbToLive without turning the light on]], thought I was putting it safely on the counter when actually I was balancing on the edge, and ended up with a large cut on my foot, the floor covered in a mixture of blood and parsley sauce. The following exchange is basically what happened: -->'''My parents:''' Come on, quick, we have to take you to the hospital! -->'''Me:''' But I'm watching ''TheSimpsons''! * Don't know if it counts as major injury, but here it goes. [[Tropers/{{Betterthanstrawberry}} This troper]] was in an elementary school reunion consisting of hanging around a park. In the evening, most of his friends were playing tag, chatting, or trying to masturbate without getting known. Bored, he sat on a bench on the pavement and stretched his legs. Three guesses on what happened next, and if none of them is "his right foot was ground by the wheel rims of a passing motorcycle", then you're wrong. The guy quickly sped away [[hottip:*:Though he probably tried to track us down for compensation when he found bits of outer skin and blood in his wheels]] without getting noticed by this tropers' friends. This troper then took off his sandals, stood up on the bench, waved his arms and yelled, "Hey, can anyone help me with my foot?". A friend volunteered to drive him home, and throughout the ride we basically chatted and joked like normal, only talking about the injury once. ** Also, during middle school, a friend was cutting a cardboard sheet with a knife when he accidentally cut himself between the pointer and the thumb. He couldn't continue his work, but all he did was going to the toilet to wash away the massive amount of blood and ask for some cotton patch and bandage. * This troper has been working with and around sharp objects for years, so he's used to getting the occasional cut, and to dealing with it, even when it's bone deep[[hottip:*:when it comes to deep and awkward wounds, superglue is your friend, although it does guarantee scarring]]. He's even been stabbed a couple of times- once right through the palm of his left hand (luckily, it missed everything important). He didn't really under-react though: grabbed his attacker's arm and kicked said attacker hard enough to dislocate it and break a couple of ribs, while the knife was still embedded in this troper's hand. This troper then proceeded to call the police and an ambulance... for himself and his assailant, and kept him subdued until the paramedics made this troper lie down so they could sedate him. * This troper was once hit by a car. My knees were bruised and bleeding and my forehead was cut open. My reaction? Get up calmly and ask for a tissue. The guy who hit me looked like he was about to have a heart attack.(I was hospitalized, stitched up, and walked with a limp for a few weeks afterwards). * This troper has always had an unsually high tolerance for pain due to chronic cluster headaches. As a result, after breaking his hand in three places last year, he waited more than a week before calmly going up to the doctor's office. * This troper has several examples.

** Once she was at an SCA event (Pennsic to be exact), and was trying to walk to a rehearsal for a Comedia Del Arte performance she had a minor role in. She was feeling rather tired but partway through the walk she realized she felt that she could no longer go on. She wound up calmly reporting this, along with the fact that she felt she might faint, to a medical-type person. Where this trope comes into play is the bit where she was all like "Why are you offering me physical support? Just because I might faint doesn't mean you need to hold me up or anything, really, I'm fine." ** When she was something like ten years old, she was crossing a stream barefoot and slipped, apparently banging her foot on a rock. Turned out she had cut it open rather badly, but the coldness of the water had numbed her foot a bit and she didn't notice. So it wasn't until she was walking around on the bank a minute later and noticed the bloody footprint behind her, and she thought "Did I step on a berry?" Then she examined her foot and was all like "Uh, can I get a band-aid here please? And some disinfectant?" ** She once fell off a horse. She rather painfully banged up her lower back, and despite making a bit of a show of the pain (leaning on the wall and stuff) she proceeded completely as normal. *** Actually, pretty much plays this intentionally all the time, kind of. Whenever she slips and falls on wet grass, she doesn't want people to worry, so since she's a very agile sort of person she will actually give people the thumbs-up while she's still tumbling to the ground. ** When in extreme pain, she'll generally calmly narrate what sort of pain it is and why, despite the shortness of breath from trying not to cry out. * this troper once tripped while on his roller blades smashed his face on the pavement and skidded a couple feet skinning a large portion of the left side of his body. he was bleeding but couldn't find out from where. he got up dusted off and picked rocks out of his hand and continued his conversation with his friend. he couldn't feel the injury till late that night. * At camp this troper twisted her ankle up pretty bad at the top of a mountain. Sure I had a two-second whinge before just walking down this whopping big mountain cause I didn't want people thinking I was a sook. Although my foot looked fine then, it hurt like hell. But the next day it didn't hurt that much at all but swelled up and turned black, so people were shitting themselves and saying, 'why the hell are you walking around?" I just shrugged and said it was fine. * A few months ago I was riding my bike when the wheel got stuck in a rut and I well onto the sidewalk. Instictively, I caught myself with my arm, and my leg got caught in the wheel somehow. My leg was fine, but my wrist was sore, so I decided to walk my bike the rest of the way and see if my wrist got better. It did not get better and began to hurt quite a bit. I decided to walk over to my college's student health center (about 1/4 mile in intense heat). On the way, I call my dad and very non-challantly tell him "I think I broke my arm." He freaks out. I find that the health center is closed, so I walk back to my dorm and talk to some RAs about getting a ride to the ER. It takes about an hour to find one, and I'm just sitting around bored. When I get to the ER, I casually mention to the doctor that ''I am physically

unable to move my arm.'' It didn't hurt, I just sorta noticed it. The first thing the doc said after seeing the x-rays? ''"What the **** did you do to yourself???"'' Turns out I broke my arm at both ends, and had to be in a cast for weeks. * This troper once rammed his knee hard enough into a corner on his bed that he sliced it open. When I looked at it, I could see something white and blood was welling up inside, and the only thing that was going through my mind was "I'm gonna need a band-aid." * Once, I got hit by a mini-van and everyone gathered around me to keep me from getting up. The only things that were going in my mind was, "I don't feel a thing." and "I have to watch Captain Planet." It turned out that I lost several teeth, broke my jaw, split open my lip, and had a really bad scrape on my knee. * Once, in playing Ultimate Frisbee, this troper jumped, landed, and immediately heard his left ankle [[HellIsThatNoise make a strange twisting, cracking sound he prays he never hears again.]] Troper finished the tournament (which was either [[CrowningMomentofAwesome awesome]] or [[WhatAnIdiot extremely stupid]]) and arrives back at the dorm, ankle throbbing a bit. Cue exchange with roommate that went something like this. ---> Troper: *removing shoes and socks* Yeah, we beat the crap out of them in the last game, but I think they were tired and nobody really cared... ---> Roommate: ''Dude, what happened to your foot?'' ---> Troper: *looks down at left ankle and sees swelling the size of a golf ball* [[DullSurprise Oh...Crap. That's not good.]] ** Turns out it was only a bad sprain. That was the good news. The bad news, this troper's ankles [[MostAnnoyingSound continue to pop when he walks.]] [[GameBreakingInjury And God forbid they ever turn in a way they're not used to.]] * [[Tropers/KamuiValentine This troper]] uses this a lot. Lost a tooth? "Mom I need a tissue." Broken nose? "Mom which way's the bathroom again?" Broken arm? "I hope someone knows when lunch is." Concussion #1? "[[KyoKaraMaoh Lady Celi]] helped me out." Broken ribs? (In written format): "You know there's a leak stain on the ceiling." Concussion #2? "[[TeamFortress2 Professionals have standards. Be polite, be efficient, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.]]" Also known to happen when fighting as well, though it's more SlasherSmile and the like. * This troper once fell off a tall horse when she was 12, the first time she had ever ridden one, landing on a very hard slightly gravelly dirt path on her rear (and causing several narrow tears to appear in the back of her pants, which her mother was not pleased about when she got back home). She quickly jumped up because she was scared of being trampled, and when asked if she was okay, replies "I'm fine!" and calmly proceeds to lead the horse back to the stable and put away her equipment (she fell off just as the group was about to finish). Later she notices that her butt is really stiff and she can't move her legs as far as usual, and when using a camp bathroom that evening notices several scattered blood blotches in her (white) underwear. On further investigation she realized there were still little bits of gravel stuck in the skin on her rear, which she picked out and discarded. The

stiffness and reduced mobility of her legs lasted for a month after the incident. * When this Troper was 14, she laughed so hard that she opened her eyebrow with a tube that was on the table of the school lab. While she didn't feel anything, her classmates and teacher were treating her as if she was disabled. Her mother did the exact same thing; but I was very calm, even when she was told that she might have lost the eye if the hit had been a bit below. In fact, the stitches hurt more than the injury. * This Troper takes the city bus to school. One day, she was walking toward the stop... and saw her bus coming down the street. She waved at it then started to run toward the bus stop. Then she tripped. Since the street was on an incline and the stop was downhill from her, she slid when she hit the ground. The first thing she noticed was the big cut on her hand, and the first thing she did with that cut was to pull off the flap of now-dead skin which would have made healing a lot worse. But wait, it gets better. The bus had stopped, and the troper climbed aboard, reassuring the worried driver that she was just fine, and sat down, only to notice a very annoying and persistent ringing in her ears, along with the sensation that her head was being squeezed. For the next few stops, the troper sat there with her backpack and lunchbox gasping and telling herself "you'd better not pass out." She made it half a mile. Apparently she was out for 20 seconds. When she woke up, the bus driver had pulled over and was calling 911, and she could hear another passenger saying "she passed out" and someone else asking if they should do something. Troper pulled herself back up onto the seat, feeling very nauseous. Another passenger walks up holding a banana and asks if she needs food. Troper waves her away with "no, I think I'm going to puke" and then throws up. The bus driver finishes calling 911 and asks troper if she is all right. Troper says she's fine, apologizes profusely for throwing up on his bus and lies down in her seat, using her backpack to prop up her legs, and stays that way until the ambulance arrives. When it gets there, the first thing she says to the drivers is "I really need to call my mom." Followed soon by "I'm fine," and "Goshdarnit, I was really looking forward to psychology class today." * This Troper's reaction to a motorcycle accident which left his patella exposed to the crisp spring air was to calmly pick up the bike and move it to the side of the road, switch places with his father in the car, and drive home. Despite the fact that two ambulances and squad cars had shown up by the time his father would allow him to leave. Later of course, he limped into the kitchen and politely asked to be driven to the ER, but the initial reaction given the amount of blood was startling to everyone involved. * This Troper fell off his moped, at about 50 KPH, on a road angled down somewhere between 35-40 degrees. There was [[UnderStatement a bit]] of tumbling involved. Upon coming to a stop, he got up, made his way up the road to his moped, and continued on his way. The reaction several hours later: "Hey, Dad, I might need to go to the doctor. I'm coughing up a lot more blood than usual." Turns out the initial landing resulted in some fairly serious pulmonary contusion (lung bruising, in layman's terms) and other internal trauma. As for the

"more blood than usual", this Troper has an absurd amount of things wrong with him, including a genetic condition which causes bleeding lesions in, among other areas, your lungs, stomach, and brain. * One day, when this troper was six, she was playing tag at school and the boy who was "it" accidently pushed her onto a large amount of very sharp rocks. Both of her hands, arms, and legs were all extremely ripped up and bloody. This troper calmly stood up as teachers came running from all directions, this troper looked down at her now-bloody white shirt and, frowning slightly, calmly said, "Shoot. And I liked this shirt, too." Oh, and this wasn't just a painful injury. She had to be rushed to the emergency room because she was losing too much blood. ** Something similar, but without the game happened to this troper. I was setting up a knife display case at the store I was working at. One snapped shut. I walked over to the sink, held my hand under the water for a few minutes, "Guys, my finger's still bleeding," they made me wrap my hand in a thick wad of paper towels and walk to the health office, several yards uphill. I almost passed out, but I managed to have the following conversation with the doctor. "How bad is it?" "Should be fine, you'll need stitches." "Really. That's nice. I'm kinda dizzy." "Yeah. You'll be fine." "If you say so. My finger feels funny." "That's the anesthetic." "Huh. Wierd. Imma take a nap now." I was back at work twenty minutes later like nothing had ever happened. * This troper has 2 cousins who were carving wood. The younger (9 year old boy) accidentally impaled his hand with a knife and calmly walked to his mom and then off to the hospital, ''without crying a single tear'', mind you, were talking about a 9-year-old boy. The reason for that? Few days earlier his 13-years-old sister had told him that wounds hurt more if you cry. ** This troper has also personally experienced something like this. During middle schools PE lesson I managed to somehow trip and hit the back of my head on a solid steel fence. For 20 minutes i just casually held the back of my head with my hand and after removing my hand a classmate noticed it was bloodied and blood was running down my neck. To quote myself: ''[[ThisIsGonnaSuck Well, this is gonna suck]].'' The strange thing is, [[FeelNoPain it didn't really hurt at all, a minor headache at most]]. * One time, This Troper was about... 8 or 9. She was outside on the stairs and she accidentally flipped over the edge and fell to the ground. She came inside, covered with blood, and looked at her dad. Completely deadpan, she said, "I fell." * This troper's whole family does this. When my mother was a child, she bumbed her head while doing chores in the barn. Thinking nothing of it, she continued doing whatever it was that she was doing. Her father (my grandfather) told her to "go see your mother," so she did. It was only when grandma shrieked at the sight of her daughter covered in blood that my mom realized she'd sliced her forehead open. I myself have done this several times, biking three miles home with a leg I could barely put weight on, getting thrown off of a horse and into a tree and bouncing right back up despite lare patches of skin scraped raw, taking the bus and walking to the doctor with a scratched cornea because I didn't want to wake up my roommate to drive me. My mom's

favorite is the time I got kicked by a horse, got a ambulance ride to the ER, listened to the surgeon explain what I had damaged (yay, internal bleeding) and still went "WHAT!?" when he said that I had to stay in ICU for a couple days. * This troper decided to race her friend while wearing cowboy boots one day. Everything was fine until the last minute when I put my foot down wrong and my ankle rolled under. After a few minutes of keeping weight off it, I continued to walk/limp as if nothing had happened, and I even joined a game of tag. Everyone, especially my teacher, was incredibly concerned about it, but I just kept repeating that it was fine. I only thought something might be wrong an hour later when my ankle swelled up to twice its previous size. I was offered a hospital trip, and refused. It turned out my ankle was broken. Oh well. * Art class in high school. This troper managed to accidentally slice a chunk of her finger out. She promptly wrapped her other hand around the finger turned and walked up to the teacher, prompting the following dialogue: --->'''Teacher:''' Something wrong? --->'''Me:''' *speaking slightly higher and quicker than usual* Yeah, I think I just cut a chunk out of my finger. --->'''Teacher:''' You okay? --->'''Me:''' Hurts a little. Doesn't seem to be bleeding too much. --->'''Teacher:''' Well, you'd better go see the nurse. * [[{{Tropers/Punkreader}} This Troper]] has this a lot; justified, as her medical conditions make her extremely prone to serious injuries, and she's developed a high pain tolerance as a result. Reactions to her frequent joint dislocations and other injuries (serious falls and fainting spells, for example) are quite amusing, especially when it's something that's (for her) not even worth noticing, like a few fingers that are noticably out of socket, and people freak out. I just move them gently until I hear them crack and feel them beginning to engage the sockets, and snap them back in, like I do with my jaw, my shoulders, my hips, knees, toes, my vertebra, my... I think you get the point. She did slip in the shower and dislocate her toe a while back - it's been over a month, and the stupid thing's still out. The thing she's worried about? She's entirely lost feeling in a part of her left knee. Even '''stabbing herself''' with a small fork (deeply) did nothing, although it's still got reflexes and movement, just not sensation. She also recently sliced open her right index finger to the bone while opening a can. She was making dinner and her mother was on a business call. Seeing it bleeding (and making a gigantic puddle on the floor), she wraps two napkins around it, finishes making dinner, and ''then'' tells her mother, once she's off the call no less, that she's sliced her finger and it hasn't stopped bleeding for the last twenty minutes. Mom freaks out, and then that got worse when she saw that the kitchen had blood everywhere. All she thought about the fact that her hand was stained entirely red (and was literally dripping with blood, quite heavily), and she ruined a perfectly good shirt was, "Huh. It feels so warm...smells delicious..." (she ''does'' have something of a blood and gore fetish, though, likely prompting that.) She managed to soak two napkins and two hospital-grade gauze pads in blood in the space of an hour. She couldn't use that finger for a

week, but the only thing she hated was that she had to dictate a math test in the mean time. * This troper once when 6 years old while helping his father in the garden managed to stab agarden fork through his foot. after turning to walk back to the house and realising his foot is now pinned to the floor "great these were my favourate boots" while his father stared dumb founded as he pulled the fork out of his foot and carried on walking to the house. * This troper was about eight when, while pretending to be a dog with some friends, a [[CompleteMonster school bully]] proceeded to {{Kick the Dog}} in the face. The kick was so hard that she lost a (baby) tooth. Her response? "Where'd it go? I need that for the Tooth Fairy!" She had also cut open her thumb at age six and only asked for a BandAid when four stitches were needed. * DenisLeary's story about his dad isn't so far off for this troper's family, so maybe it's something about Irish people. Case in point: My dad once came home from a fishing trip and when we asked him how it went he held up his hand, which had a fishing fly -- the hook of which, I remind you, is about three inches long -- lodged in his thumb. My mom and I freaked out but he was pretty blase about it and drove himself to the hospital. It's also not just the men since I've done stuff like drop the pipe on the bottom of a sink on my hand with the full weight of the sink on it (long story) and even though it left a pretty decent cut and a pretty impressive scar at the time I was also pretty blase about it. Maybe that's what all the people in Ireland meant when they told us that people from the place our ancestors lived were "good sturdy people"... * This troper (LowEndLem) has had it happen a few times, mostly due to pride refusing to allow me to express pain, but the most notable was, during work as a mascot for a game store, I was walking back in..and subsequently struck by a car. I got up, grabbed my sign, flipped the guy off, and went in, leading to this conversation. "Boss, I'm going home now." "Seriously? It's been like, 4 hours." "Yeah, but I just got nailed by a Ford. Can I leave?" This, naturally led to his boss freaking out, but was soon forgotten. Good times in a sweaty suit. * Once I got hit by a fast moving car (resulting in a fractured pelvis and a week in the hospital). The very next thing that happened was the lady who hit me stopping and tearily asking if I was okay - I calmly tried to reassure her I was, then attempted to get up and just barely managed to stumble over to the sidewalk and sit down. I legitimately didn't know how much I was hurt, but was still remarkably calm given what just happened. Probably equally fitting into this trope was the fact that I called the internship I had been heading to with my cellphone and nonchalantly told them I couldn't come in because I just got hit by a car. ---SMACK!!! THWAP!!! BASH!!! Calmly head back to MajorInjuryUnderreaction. Don't worry about the blood trail. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

MakingUseOfTheTwin * [[ThereIsNoSuchThingAsNotability No Such Thing As Notability]], right? In a SchoolPlay ThisTroper acted in some years ago, a twin was cast in the rather lengthy lead role and was replaced by his twin brother halfway through, so they only had to learn half the play each. ** In a subversion of the above, ThisTroper once saw a production of ''A Midsummer Night's Dream'' that split the role of Puck into two characters. This allowed the use of all sorts of twin tropes like finishing each other's sentences and such. *** ThisTroper saw a similar production, but it was of Othello, and the Iago twins were creepy as HELL, especially when they circled Othello and spoke at the same time. **** [[SoCoolitsAwesome That gave me the shivers just thinking about it]]. ** i find this cool beyond measure. * Not real life, but [[{{LittleMai}} This Tropette]]'s character in a free-form RPG and his twin brother planned to date the same girl by MakingUseOfTheTwin. [[ItGotWorse Their mother found out]]. * I know some twins that used to switch classes all the time because of different subject strengths. Then they got [[ImportantHaircut different haircuts.]] * This troper is a twin. This troper and his twin brother have discussed the literal interpretation of MakingUseOfTheTwin, and have come to an understanding. We just wonder if it is acceptable to view each other to a degree as readily availiable spare parts. ** It is. It happens all the time. * This troper is an identical twin. When we were younger, we would try to switch places all the time. ** Same with this troper. In third grade she and her twin dressed alike the entire year just to confuse people. * There were a pair of twins at the school where this lurker's mother used to teach (private school so they 'had to' wear the same uniform). It was alwys suspected that they 'doubled up' on the classes they were interested in while avoiding those they weren't. On a more romantic note the more sociable one sometimes approached guys as her sister and got them interested before 'swapping out'. ** this will be heretofore referred to as "the Cyrano bait-and-switch" * Twins switching place isn't always an easy thing to do. This [[{{Cable}} troper]] can relate. To understand what I mean, go to a nearby person, and tell them that you are going to call them Cookie. Leave for 5 minutes, then come back and see how quickly they react, or, how many times it takes for them to respond. ** That's true, but most twins, as demonstrated by the poster below, will respond to each other's names as well as variations thereof. This troper looks up every time her sister's name is called unless her sister is in the room. * This troper and his twin have done the switching classes thing, and we will respond to any of 6 different names, either first name, our last name, a combination of our first names, Twin, or Twins. * This troper's heard stories from his parents about twins who used each other to write an exam for each other (intentionally making

mistakes for the impersonation and everything) * [[{{Tropers/Allronix}} This Troper]] and her allegedly identical twin look quite different to anyone who knows us. To people who didn't know us, we had a shot. Well, one time, my sister was con chair of a local sci-fi relax-a-con. Problem: like most con chairs, she literally needed to be two places at once. Taking her student ID and knowing how to forge her signature came in REALLY handy that weekend. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

Malaproper Everybody knows someone who [[{{Malaproper}} mixes up words]], which probably creates amusing confusion. Share your stories here. ---* This troper's mother's ex-boyfriend did this CONSTANTLY. A few examples: ** (Upon seeing my sister's messy room) "Looks like a cyclops [cyclone] hit this place." ** "She's gay as a two dollar bill" (I know what he MEANT to say, but... how did he manage to miss it by so much? [[{{CaptainObvious}} Paper can't be homosexual]] to this troper's knowledge.) *** Different troper here. What DID he mean to say? **** Yet another troper: I think he probably meant "She's as queer as a three-dollar-bill." ** Always saying "defective" instead of "detective." This one's not so bad, since most people seem to think he's making a joke about their capabilities in their job, but... he's not. He's just [[{{TooDumbToLive}} not the smartest guy around.]] * This Troper has an 11-year-old sister who doesn't necessarily mix up words, but she butchers them all the time. She's been doing it since she was very young child. Here are some words she has mangled: "Favric" = ''Fabric'', "Effisode" = ''Episode'', "Yogrit" = ''Yogurt'', "Granila" = ''Granola'', "Doderant" = ''Deoderant'', "Farenity" = ''Fraternity'', and probably more. ** She also has spelling malapropisms: "Grease" = ''Greece'', "Porta Richo" = ''Puerto Rico'', and my personal favorite, "Telechonices" = ''{{Telekinesis}}''. ** Though she may become linguistically confused sometimes, she is one of the funniest and most intelligent people this troper knows. * This troper has a relative who says "phantom" when she means "fathom." * In [[@/{{Momonga}} this troper]]'s high school English class, the topic turned to feudalism. [[TheDitz One girl]] said "And that's when there were, like, knights and Smurfs, right?" This was a private school where people had to take tests before being admitted, and one of this troper's friends, who is extremely intelligent and hardworking, had to repeat a year. * This troper was assistant-directing a play in which her boyfriend (now husband) played a very surly character named Richard. She filled in at rehearsal one night for the actor playing the domineering nurse

from Richard's childhood. The nurse scolded Richard, calling him an "impudent child;" troper malaproped the line, calling him an "''impotent'' child." Yes, it was on purpose for comedic purposes, and yes, it was damn funny. ([[TooMuchInformation And no, he wasn't]].) * This troper has real problems with the names [[NeonGenesisEvangelion "Misato Katsuragi"]] and [[GhostInTheShell "Motoko Kusanagi"]], often mixing them up and coming up with hybrids like "Misoto Kusuragi". There's probably a good reason why the latter character is usually called The Major. [[CompletelyMissingThePoint It's because she hold mid-level rank in a quasi-military organisation and kills people.]] * I don't know whether this qualifies as a malapropism, as such, but when this troper was in Germany, one fine day (after a couple of weeks of overcast finally broke) I looked out the window and said "Man, it's hell out!" "Hell," by the way, is the German word for "bright." ** I'd say that's more of an [[IncrediblyLamePun Incredibly Lame]] StealthPun. * This troper once had a Sociology professor with a (seemingly intentional) tendency to mangle aphorisms. The most memorable example would be "the sky is your oyster". ** Different troper: My sociology teacher would intentionally do this to, as he put it, make sure we're listening. One such example was calling the program our school purchased to allow teachers to monitor students' laptops ([=DyKnow=]) "Dynamite" all the time. * This troper has a classmate who is a total idiot, and will often use words he thinks he knows the meaning of, to attempt to sound smarter. Occasionally, he'll just phrase it wrong, but most of the time he says the wrong word. Oh, and his stupidity got to such a point where a teacher told his parents that he was probably retarded. * This troper has a minor [[BerserkButton pet peeve]] with a "malapropism" that isn't even wrong. Whenever restaurants (or food commercials in general) describe their desserts as "decadent," they ''mean'' that it's some kind of raw, hedonistic pleasure. And that's a legitimate definition. However, this troper associates the word with the decay/moral decline definitions, which are the ones that show up first in every dictionary definition she's read. It throws her off every time and completely undermines the commercials. ** Not really, since the idea of decay/moral decline ''comes''(as far as I am aware, though this might be backwards) from the idea of decadent as commercials imply it. The idea was the upper class were the ones corrupting the morals and the ones with these 'decadent' things. ** It is backwards. The word "decadent" comes from the same Latin root as "decay". * Sometimes this troper misremembers the name of Swiper the Fox from DoraTheExplorer as [[Series/{{Heroes}} Sylar]] the Fox, which obviously would make things DarkerAndEdgier. Fortunately, it doesn't come too often in conversation. * This troper, probably from learning too much [[http://www.dartmouth.edu/~sullivan/unamunda/eng-una.html Unamunda]], has taken to replacing words with similar sounding words. People mostly get "Harvard you today?" but [[DigimonAdventure02 AruKENimon]]? instead of [[YouHaveGOTToBeKiddingMe Are You Kidding Me]] has gotten

some strange looks. * This troper, having already read Seabiscuit and advanced books in 4th grade, learned most of her words by reading them rather than by hearing them aloud. So she basically guessed on the pronunciations, and to this day, in high school, she still uses them. This often leads to her butchering words like "eligible" and "illegible" and "conscience" and "con-science" ** I know where you're coming from. I went to a crappy public school but read tons of advanced literature, so most of the advanced words I knew I learned from reading. This lead to communication problems come college, though not that many since I like to keep things simple. ** I know this problem well. I do a lot of reading and textual communication but not very much actual talking to people, and I'm good at figuring out how to ''pronounce'' English words based on the spelling, but [[AcCENTUponTheWrongSylLAble figuring out where the emphasis goes is a matter of trial and error]]. * This troper's school paper once mentioned that famous Harrison Ford movie ''The Window-maker'' * This troper's mother mixes up words and phrases hilariously often. She usually ends up saying "Hold your pants" when she means "hold your horses" or "keep your pants on". * This troper admits, when he's unfocused, referring to the adherents of the Hasidic sect of Judaism as "Sadistic Jews." Most of his Jewish friends find this hilarious. * While she didn't have any other cases of malapropism at the time, when my sister was a kid she'd call elevators "alligators". And it's sort of more of just word order getting reversed, there was a moment bordering on this I thought I'd never live down: In high school I was helping classmates carry in a large decorated cookie for our drama teacher Ms. Clapp - someone asked what we were doing, and I proudly announced "we've got a clap for Ms. Cookie!". * This troper is a computer programmer, and one of the guys on my team is a rather witty South American immigrant. His English is very good, but he has a noticeable accent and occasionally uses [[FunnyForeigner plausible deniability]] to [[DeadpanSnarker drop snarky malapropisms]] ''[[DeadpanSnarker intentionally.]]'' For example, referring to a particularly slow, complex and bug-ridden section of our program as the "Inventory Mangler" (aka. Inventory Manager) or stating that the C++ programming language has so many features that it [[LogicBomb bungles the mind.]] * This troper has defiantly noticed the word "Definite" is incredibly easy to mispell, spellcheck, and then get the wrong word. * [[@/{{Orihime}} This troper]] mixes up words in ''both'' her mother language (Spanish) and her second one (English). * [[@/{{Cameoflage}} This troper]] doesn't mix up similar-''sounding'' words (although she'll sometimes inadvertently mispronounce them despite knowing perfectly well how they're supposed to be pronounced, sometimes to the point of getting tangled up on one word and having to start over), but she has a tendency to substitute synonyms in idiomatic phrases or use the wrong prepositions. Like right now, when she was talking about cannibalism and said "long pork" instead of "long pig".

* This troper's stepfather is originally from India, and his English has always been excellent but his grasp of idioms not so much. He's gotten much better over the twelve years he's lived in America, but the family still enjoys gently teasing him about his past malapropisms such as "you might as well hang up the bag" (meaning 'throw in the towel'). On one occasion, he curiously took apart my mother's electric can opener to see how it worked, reassembled it (correctly!), and declared it to be "a very interesting can peeler." * My dad worked with a lot of people fresh off the boat from India for the past several years, and has picked up a lot of the lingo. Sometimes it's not technically a malapropism: "do the needful" was imported from England when India was a British colony, and my dad uses it because he thinks it's funny. However, he once wrote in a resume that his "English is excelling". Oh, and he once described something as a "Rorsch blot"... * When I was very young, I was seriously concerned about the threat that tourists posed to America, and made it clear that I supported the War on Tourists. * This troper sometimes unintentionally [[MixedMetaphor butchers metaphors by slurring them together]]. My explanation for it, which borders on a pet theory: I have [[AttentionDeficitOohShiny ADHD]]. My brain's so busy distracting itself with different ways to say something that I end up mixing metaphors. I'm the only person who ever seems to catch it, though. ** Same troper: I was with a group of people and we were making homemade pizzas. I stepped outside to do something for a minute, and when I went back inside, I reportedly said, "I sure hope that penis is ready." I didn't realize my faux pas until a couple of people nearby burst into laughter. ** A couple more linguistic blunders made by this troper (note: the ones I've noticed myself, so there are probably much, much more): *** Conflating "hemorrhoid" with "hemorrhage", in a discussion of how a well-respected church member died (of a brain hemorrhage, obviously). *** Oh, so many examples of JapaneseRanguage. Mangling "paper" into "papel" seems to happen the most. Note that the only things honestly qualifying the JapaneseRanguage as malapropisms are 1. I'm an American 2. who was never raised in Japan (or China, or Korea, or Taiwan) for any length of time, nor had parents hailing from the aforementioned countries. *** Mangling "ridiculous" into "religious" when I was practicing lines from a dreadfully {{Anvilicious}} school play that ultimately never got put on. This had to be pointed out to me goodness knows how many times, and I still ultimately got it wrong. (For those interested, the play was a very cheesy wholesale homage to Star Wars warning about the dangers of junk food. For some reason, it was decided us Special Ed kids were going to be the ones putting it on, possibly because everyone else was smart enough to recognize it as a thinly-veiled, mallet-tacular, and [[HurricaneOfPuns groan-inducing]] screed against junk food.) * This troper once witnessed a history final presentation where the students claimed Robert Kennedy was kill by Duran Duran.

* This troper and this troper's friend do this constantly. We think too fast for our slow mouths and end up mixing and mashing words, lampshading our 'misfortunate thpeech impedibuh' to each other and others. Thing is, this troper also mixes up word order, which has led to some interesting statements (interesting is a substitute for many adjectives). When asked why he would rather sleep on the couch every time rather than taking turns when sharing a one-bedroom hotel room with his stepsister, I said; "It's fine. She's my girl and she's also a sister." Double points for a freudian slip; growing up separately without the westermarck effect, I find her attractive, unfortunately. * This troper does this all the time. It's very embarrassing. * On one occasion, this troper's father told her mother to "bite the bull by the horns" - combining the phrases "bite the bullet" and "take the bull by the horn", obviously. He also frequently swaps similar sounding words. * "I have a hard time seeing right now. I had my eyes diluted." "You mean dilated?" "Yeah, that." * My mother used to say "Lying like a sieve" until I finally pointed out that made no sense. * This troper's brother says such gems as "Amnesty is the only 100% way to avoid S.T.D.'s," "There was always that one dark hallway where students went and conjugated," and "The old lady was wearing a cow-cow (Instead of moo-moo)." One time he walked in on a friend watching the news and said sarcastically, "I love watching the news in Spanish." When the friend replied that it was actually the French news my brother remarked, "That's why I'm not in logistics." * My English teacher in High school told the story of how when discussing euthanasia in class, one girl asked "Why should I care about the youth in Asia?" * A comment on one of the ''many'' internet threads about a possible Buffy remake states that Joss Whedon complaining about someone else using his characters is "the popcorn in the kettle black". * Tropers/{{JET73L}} does this often, and more recently all the freaking time. It's gotten to the point that the troper's spelling is [[{{Spoonerism}} more]] [[RougeAnglesOfSatin accurate]] when typing than talking, and equally accurate when typing and writing. The most annoying thing is that many (though not all) examples of SesquipedalianLoquaciousness are fine while common, everyday words tend to be replaced with {{Freudian Slip}}s and, more commonly, random words (such as "would you please hand me that 'fridge?" in place of "would you please hand me that pencil?"). * Here's how a typical conversation between this troper and my sister used to roll: "Caitlin, you're kinda' *insert random generic insult here*." "Hey! I resemble [resent] that!" "..." It was three years before I bothered to correct her. * Reading through reviews of ''TheBlackCauldron'' on Amazon, I came across this amazing review. The review itself may seem to be nothing spectacular at first, just ComplainingAboutShowsYouDontLike, but it has this hidden gem of a malapropism in it: [[http://www.amazon.com/review/RB7876VAYGKYL/ref=cm_cr_pr_cmt?ie=UTF8& ASIN=B00004R99W&nodeID "Don't judge a book by its movie."]] * My sister, throughout her entire life, has always said "carroter"

instead of "character." To be fair, she loves her salads. * This troper has done it often to this day. Curse you, massacre vs mascara and incense vs incest!!! * This troper once went to sit with a friend, and was greeted with "Welcome to my humble [[DarkerAndEdgier abyss]]". * My usually quite clever Middle Eastern History professor once told us that in the 1920s, Ayatollah Khomeini was only "an apple in his mother's eye". Apart from the mixed idiom, Khomeini was born in 1902. And she's not even the most AbsentmindedProfessor I had this semester; that would be... well, all the other ones. * This troper constantly speaks too fast, out of habit, and as a result, butchers words. Occasionally, I will use the wrong word when speaking, because I've spoken too fast. Two words I constantly mix up are "Word" and "World". Also, if you were to ask me what my favorite soda was, and I replied, "Cola champagne", up until recently, I would have said as "Cola champlange". * The best telling-off [[{{The Fifth Wall}} I]] ever received included the line: "I might have many flaws, troper, [[{{I Resemble That Remark}} but idiocracy isn't one of them!]]". Also, when you're thirteen, mixing up the words "organism" and "orgasm" in a biology lesson is apparently the funniest thing ever. * This troper's mum does it all the time. For instance, my family was at a Mexican wedding; they'd been invited by an old friend of my stepdad's. We happened to be sitting at a table alone since we didn't know anyone other than the bride and were, incidentally, the only nonMexican family there. My mother remarked, jokingly, that "Nobody wants to sit with us ginkos". it took a couple of seconds for my stepdad and I to catch on. My sister inherited it; she once spelled 'sources' as 'sorses'. ---Refrain to [[{{Malaproper}} Muller-Propper]] here. ----

MalevolentArchitecture * This troper once had a real-life ''Tomb Raider'' moment in a former job. A door was activated by the switch behind the receptionist's desk, but when no receptionist was around at the time, workers had to press the switch themselves and then run down the corridor to the door before the auto-locking timed out. ** Holy shit, that's beautiful. * The security system in this troper's data center locks everything when it goes off. There are horror stories of people hearing the alarm and sprinting down a corridor to desperately hit the off switch before everything is locked down. * This [[{{Pavlov}} Troper]] worked in a building with a pair of sliding glass doors, set airlock fashion. Locking the doors only locked the outer door and the sensor between the doors. So if you forgot that the doors were locked, you would pass through the inner doors and then bonk into the outer doors as the inner set closed. You were now trapped between the sets of doors, with your only option of

escape being to pick up the phone and tell your coworkers to come release your stupid self. Are you surprised that this was an [=IRS=] building? * [[EvilElevator Elevators]]. This troper has been stuck in many on his college campus. One building has(or at least had) a library that is only accessible by elevator. Pity whoever gets stuck up there when the power goes out or the elevator malfunctions. * The fan in my room is just close enough to the ground that each time I try to get in bed, I risk decapitation. Does not help that soon I will be too tall to avoid this. ** Turn off the fan. * This troper's church has a bell tower that apparently wants you dead. A narrow set of rickety stairs with flimsy railings leads up to a trapdoor that weighs approximately twenty pounds (solid oak) and has nothing to prop it open once you've managed to open it. Troper had to escort the fire alarm inspector up there one time and just narrowly avoided getting her skull cracked open like an egg when the door fell shut; the inspector on the other side of the door thought he had just killed the troper and was white as a sheet when the door reopened. * This troper was once informed by a friend of the family who believed strongly in both Feng Shui and traditional spirtualism that his house was evil, and that the tree which sat directly infront of the back door was the source and wanted us dead. He was seven. * My department on university (I'm student). Many people find it hard but all I have problems with is logic of... facilities. * The main entrance to the Porthania building of the University of Helsinki is guarded by a particularly imposing set of revolving doors. While this troper is pretty certain that they're ''safe'', what with still being there after lord knows how many years of operation, they still look like a trap from ''PrinceOfPersia'' on particularly busy days: seven hundred kilos of spinning death forbidding you entrance to the building. * I guess [[{{Kathadrion}} my]] high school qualifies. It wasn't really labyrinthine, but there was absolutely NO logic AT ALL as to why the rooms and corridors were labeled the way they were, so if you didn't already know were you were supposed to go, your schedule was of absolutely no help whatsoever. I went there for three years and I never managed to figure it out. ** This Troper's old School was like this, the corridors were very confusing, since a few looked virtually identical. After I got used to it after a few years it was fun to watch the First year kids walk down a one-way corridor and all get stuck at the end. ** The English building on this troper's campus is a light version of that. It's the second oldest building on campus, so some rooms have changed purposes over the years, and some numbered rooms are inside other rooms (damn our confusing personal office system). That means that room 27 is right next door to room 20. Our military science/childcare building is even worse: it was apparently built in haphazard spurts, because the hall with rooms 87-93 is connected to the hall with rooms 13-19. That building is the bane of many students' existences. ----

You can go back to MalevolentArchitecture here, although you should be careful of the switching blade doors, the descending ceiling, the trapdoor in the floor and the crushing walls... ---<<|TroperTales|>>

MamaBear * This troper's mother claimed, before I left for study abroad, that if anything happened to me in Europe, she would go [[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Film/Taken Liam Neeson]] on somebody's ass. ** Once, my stepdad found out that someone was threatening my younger brother. It took him two days to tell my mother, because he was afraid of what she might do to the guy when she found out. * This Troper's mother IS this trope. Take it from me, if she feels that either I or one of my siblings is threatened, she WILL make the opposing party back off, no matter what. Her fianc also counts as a [[PapaWolf Papa Wolf]], in that he's the same way not just with his own kids, but us too. Also, my sister and her husband just might be [[PassingTheTorch the next generation]], what with their own kid on the way. * This tropers older sister, who is a good deal shorter (and this troper is optimistically speaking 5' 8'') than me and wears glasses or contacts most of the time, terrified two sixth formers at her all girls school who decided that I and a random girl who I barely knew, and while I was friendly to her, not interested in, would be so cute together and started practically stalking me whenever I turned up to the school for a social event. My sister (a sixth former herself) dragged the two off into a corner, where she [[TranquilFury quietly and politely]] threatened them with dire punishments while DeathGlaring (a DeathGlare so potent it is referred to as a basilisk glare) them into submission. This was last year and I have been conspicuously left alone since then. * To add to the pile, a Papa Wolf by my father. Back in middle school I had just been dropped off and my dad drove off when a bunch of the high school bullies came by to start trouble. The usual 'lunch money or else' jerkass stuff. Only I didn't have any this time, and I hadn't 'shelled' out last time. So there I am up against the wall and already took one punch to the gut, and the head of the bullies is reaching back for another when he finds himself hauled bodily off the ground and slammed into the wall next to me, as my dad had forgotten to hand me my lunch and had turned around and saw what was happening. Did I mention my father stands 6'7", full-blooded Swed, and while nowadays he looks like Santa Claus, back then he could have been mistaken for a pro-linebacker. Bully tried to scream that my dad was hurting him and yelled for a teacher, and my dad got right in his face and plainly said, and I can clearly remember it, "Say another word out loud, and I will show you the real meaning of the word pain. You try to run when the teachers show up, remember, I have a car, and it's already dented - I just won't care this time how the next 'dent' shows up on it". Ever see a bully held a full foot off the floor wet himself? Its a

very enjoyable memory. * This Troper and her best friend are like this towards each other, but more in a brother-sister way. We'll mock each other and take cheap shots, but if anybody else insults the other, they WILL regret it. We've known each other pretty well for our entire lives, and our birthdays are only four days apart. * This troper turns into a Papa Wolf whenever a person insults any of his best friends. Case in point: He once copy-pasted one bully's contact information over an Encyclopedia Dramatica article about some dog killer. Needless to say, that bully got a lifetime's worth of death threats and rickrolls. Moral of the story: If I cannot stop you, i'll get /b/ to do it for me. * This troper's grandma drove off a bear to protect her dog. [[NeverMessWithGranny I am now very scared of her.]] * Not bragging, but this troper's friend was in trouble because some idiots were trying to drag him into the bathroom and steal his money. It didn't end well for them, I ran into the first one i saw i slammed into him so hard he left the ground for a good 2 seconds, the second one i punched in the stomach and the guy couldn't breathe, and the third one i threw HARD. I am not a violent person, the first day of my 6th grade year i got slapped in the face out of nowhere and didn't do anything, but try to hurt someone who can't fight back and i will show you what a person who was ranked first in ATA's texas weapons division can do when you make me angry.(Disclaimer, this was not an extraordinary feat, these guys were douches.) * For the record, knee replacement surgery involves grinding on the bone. Shooting someone below the waist can't be attempted murder, just armed assault, 1-4 years in prison. Even with a 12 gague shotgun at point blank. You can't anesthesize bone pressure, and even with prosthetics you can never walk nearly as well. I won't elaborate as to the reason, but my wife had to physically prevent me from carrying this out upon a poor slob. I'm really not a man of violence, but everyone has their "defend the family" point. * This troper proved herself to be more of a Sister Bear when she caught some little punk hitting her brother. Didn't even fully register until I literally threw the bastard out onto our front porch and chased him down the street yelling something along the lines of '' "You better run!" ''. * This troper has a few close friends who she's seen go mama bear when they believe one of us is being threatened... admittedly it sometimes backfires as they go mama bear on each other occasionally... * When this troper's German Shepherd chased one of her cat's kittens up a tree, the cat turned around and chased the German Shepherd down the street. Needless to say, the German Shepherd never messed with the kittens again. * This troper's goddaughter refers to her as "the real-life Molly Weasley," as it is generally understood that the troper WILL seriously kill you if you touch her kids. This had a HilarityEnsues effect when the troper went to visit the goddaughter and was introduced to said goddaughter's boyfriend...who admitted he was (quite needlessly, in the end) terrified to meet her. It's worth noting that the troper doesn't actually ''have'' children, just a bunch of younger friends

(and an entire church youth group) who call her Mom. * With apologies for being morbid: [[@/HersheleOstropoler this troper]]'s girlfriend was discussing 9/11 with her now ex-husband once. He opined (and she concurred) that she might not have made it out ... unless their daughter was with her. * This troper at the age of 13 was short and skinny with little muscle tone. Someone in his class insulted his mother and while he didn't get to do much damage, the insulter being a lot larger and taller, he had to be dragged off afterwards. The teacher didn't even bother to tell him off, merely telling the insulter to shut up and watch his mouth (but more politely). * This troper, who has long (I'm talking since the second grade) been TeamMom to her group of friends, to the point that many of them ''call'' her "Mom", once slapped a bully across the face for pushing a friend into a wall and informed said bully that she would not lay a finger on any of this troper's friends again or there would be dire and physical repercussions. It worked. She has also persistently and threateningly gone after any and all high school [[JerkJock jerk jocks]] dumb enough to harass the geeks and gay kids this troper surrounds herself with, once going so far as to tell a guy from the wrestling team that if he wanted someone to pick on he could beat this troper up and leave her friends alone. Now if only this troper could figure out how to stand up for ''herself''... ** Honey, we must've been separated at birth. Normally I can't be bothered to do anything about myself, but you say anything bad about my friends, and You. Are. Toast. I've only been involved in a physical fight once in my life: in the third grade, an older kid was picking on a retarded boy I had taken under my wing. The kid wouldn't leave my friend be, so I punched him in the face. I also verbally emasculated a boy who maltreated my best friend... in front of an entire cafeteria full of people. To thunderous applause. Another ex-boyfriend of same best friend (she has terrible taste in men) would scurry the other way in the hallway when he saw me. I don't understand why he was so scared... I only told him I would remove his fingernails one at a time and serve them as garnishes to his barbecued reproductive organs if he didn't stop harassing her... * Once about two years ago [[GwenStacyWannabe I]] was in a class with both my [[HeIsNotMyBoyfriend best male friend]] and [[TheLibby worst enemy]]. Said worst enemy happened to remark within earshot of me that she would really like to murder my best friend in a [[FamilyUnfriendlyViolence very graphic and disturbing manner]]. Well, normally I'm scared out of my mind of this girl, but hearing my friend threatened made something in me snap. I pretty much [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome stood up and told her she'd have to do all that stuff she was talking about to me before she'd get within a mile of him]]. * This troper's [[TheClan family]] is odd at this. We are legion, and a case of DysfunctionJunction, with schyzowhatever (the thing with the hallucinations and occasional paranoia) being common, among other problems. We fight among ourselves with great passion, but if outsiders try to harm one of us, we instantly unite and go all Sicilian on their arses (no, we're not Italian, nor Mafiosi).

Generally the sane part of TheClan are the Mama Bears for the ones with mental illness. And if an outsider ever manages to gain our trust, we turn Mama Bear for said person (more like overprotective psychos, but the intention is good). * This Troper's mother fits this trope. I never told her about classmates and teachers bullying me when I was in elementary, so, she couldn't do anything. When she later found out about it, she was not happy. In seventh grade, some boys verbally sexually harassed me and the teacher refused to do anything about. She went up to the school, got the teacher put on academic probation, made certain I would never be placed in a group with those three boys again, and had a teacher checking in on me every day during that class. She also made sure they knew what would happen if my grade happened to drop because of her visit. Next year, a teacher threatened to kill me if I got gum on her carpet. My mother called her, and the next day the teacher apologised to me, citing that she was wrong to do so. In high school, most of the counselors were incompetent, refusing to help me when I needed. My mother frequently told them off. ** Did the above Troper steal my mother? Because that is a very convincing account of my own life story... *** Same here. Some of my teachers were even scared of her. *** Same, only the order of things is mixed up - the sexually harassment from the three classmates in elementary and the bullying in middle school. Mom knew the whole time ^^ * This Troper will never forget her mother verbally smacking down a presumptous doctor who thought her daughter's medical problems were 'all in her head.' * [[{{Robbychu}} This troper's]] mother fits this trope to a T. Don't mess with her babies if you don't want to find out what your intestines look like. * This Troper has a real life example. When he was about eight, he was attacked by a feral German Shepherd that had been terrorizing children in the area. His father, a normally calm, quiet fellow, beat it off with a ''baseball bat'' and then ''threatened the Mayor'' until he got animal control to shoot it to death. * [[{{Starscream}} My]] dad. He's made it clear several times that whoever tries to mess with me while I'm with him will expect no less than loss of consciousness (or at best a brutal beating), and I've actually had to restrain him several times so that neither of us get in trouble. * This troper's choir, upon hearing that our instructor's husband had been abusing her for the past few months, turned into son-anddaughter-bears. Said ass-munch hubby showed up to our next concert and found himself face to face with twenty-five very angry music geeks. Especially the alto section leader who usually wouldn't hurt a fly but wanted to kill this guy with her bare hands, the 6-foot, 230-pound tenor who actually calls our instructor "Mom", and the chem major who threatened him with a few very novel uses of chromic acid. * This troper usually ignores bullies and idiots, but if they happen to insult, hurt, or threaten my friends, they will find themselves with my shoe lodged in their ribcage. ** Are you me? [[{{Talent2max}} This Troper]] has been known to berate

those who bully her friends. an incident stands out in her mind where she turned around in the middle of a classroom (choir room, if she'd feeling specific) to tell [[{{The Libby}} another girl]] to shut her mouth. * [[{{Orihime}} This Troper]]'s younger sister and father went out for errands once. At some point, the worker handling them chewed my sister out. A single menacing glance from [[TheBigGuy our]] ''[[TheBigGuy very]]'' heavy, [[TheBigGuy 6'0'' ft. tall father]] had the guy almost peeing in his pants. * This Troper acts like this with his two best friends... namely, his sister who is like his best friend, and his other best friend who is like his brother. He has always been the "overprotective big brother", and has found that they seem to have protected him just as much... * This Troper had the papa bear version of this happen with his ''retail manager.'' A customer was going to make a US$1,000 purchase, but started belittling my female co-worker for her gender. My manager heard, "GET THE FUCK OUT!!" the purchase never happened either. ** This troper wishes he worked at that place. At my job, the customer is ''always'' right, unless documented evidence proves otherwise. This troper fears the day the customers realize they can sue the store for bending the rules at customers' instructions simply by denying they ever gave those instructions. * This troper was walking to the store with her little brother one day when a dog decided to attack. After the dog jumped on her brother, and then bit his hand, this troper, who normally is ''terrified'' of big dogs, starting screaming and chasing the dog down the street, screaming "HOW ''DARE'' YOU BITE MY BROTHER!?" In addition, the troper's step-father can be ''very'' PapaWolf at times. Case in point: this troper was sexually harassed in high school, and nearly got groped in the hallway. When she told her step-father about it, he left three very angry messages on the principal's voicemail, saying things like "I am at ''the end of my rope'' here!" and "And I wanna know just ''how the hell you're running this school!"'' He then said that if the problem wasn't dealt with, come back to him, and ''he'd'' take care of it, by any means nessecary. * This troper witnessed a combination of MamaBear and Nakama when a classmate was telling other classmates that she (the troper) had made out with several people and given one a hickey. One member of her friends found her crying in a corner duing gym class, and, after fetching some of their Nakama, calmed her down and promised "It'll be okay." After class, this troper walked into the locker rooms to see about five or six people cornering the girl, chewing her out and looking ready to kill. After watching them ''very angrily'' tell the girl that she was to stop spreading rumors like that, and even throwing in a few swears, this troper could only manage a quiet "Thanks, you guys..." * People who meet this troper's family for the first time think it's her dad - the big, redbeared Irishman - you shouldn't mess with. In reality, it's her mum - the short, sweet, quiet little housewife that will bring PAIN to the unfortunate who dares to mess with any of her kids. All the kids the troper grew up with are still afraid of her.

* [[{{Kerrah}} This troper]] had a fear of crows for years after a childhood mishap of accidentally almost walking into one of their nests and being chased away by the angry-as-hell mother. * The scariest thing this troper saw as child? His mother pissed off because someone had hurt his younger brother. On a related note I tend to react this way whenever kids are hurt. * It took this troper years to realise that this trope... fairly accurately describes me. Not in the sense that when my family is threatened I metamorphose into a mystical giant she-badass with lasers for eyes, but people who screw with my family are in for some very unfortunate surprises. I've never had to escalate into physical violence, but I've always offered. It helps that I occasionally teach children, and though I have no little kids of my own, I forbid anyone else to mess with them. * ...Were we separated at birth? The one BerserkButton for me and my entire family is when somebody harms our friends or relatives in ANY WAY. Granted, it's never physical violence that ensues, but [[{{Jstriker}} This Troper]] DOES start [[{{UnstoppableRage}} ranting psychotically]]. [[{{Jstriker}} This Troper]]'s rants are VERY SCARY. As in (according to everyone who has witnessed them) HighOctaneNightmareFuel scary. In fact, even after the first (out of several) rants, This Troper stays angry for at least 2 hours, and that's the minimum. Woe betide the subjects of my rage. * One time, ThisTroper witnessed some senior guys picking on (shoving around/verbally harassing) one of her freshman "babies". In all four years they'd known me, I had been very easygoing, so they were too shocked to really react - they didn't seem to actually believe I'd ever get mad enough to ''hit'' one of them, [[RefugeInAudacity even after it happened]]. GenreSavvy [[BewareTheNiceOnes won out]], and they ran off. They were too embarrassed to admit that they got beaten up/scared off by TheQuietOne. * Just five seconds ago, while I was on the NightmareFuel page, [[SovietKitty this troper]]'s mother said, "They don't mess with MamaBear," in reference to some corporate morons giving her trouble about renewing said troper's medication. Seriously. She's ''still'' ranting, and it is awesome. "And they shouldn't mess with me when I'm out of seltzer and ice cream, besides," she just said. * [[PurplePantherGirl This troper]] and her brother useually argue constantly, but when I heard that a boy was bullying my brother...Said boy was so scared of me ''he actually peed himself in the middle of the street.'' * Okay, generally I hate younger kids but on my bus we have several elementary kids and for some damn reason I do have a mama bear complex about the whelp. I have threatened my peers on the bus, going so far to tell a bigger and older and stronger anger management girl "If yoou hurt one hair on his head I will beat you to within an inch of your miserable life." Though I do have the horsepower in my wheelchair to back that up some what. I tget teased about this complex of mine becausse I usually hate kids in general. As an extra bonus the kids on my bus are a mafia like group, we protect our own. Said girl in my own example above was new but she quickly learned and became a good friend.

* [[TheTallOne This Tropette]] is quite a book worm, even at a young age. I also spoke more Spanish than was to be expected from an American 4th grader, so my 4th grade teacher told me I couldn't read in class anymore, unless it was in Spanish, "Because [I] was so smart, I was wasting it just reading." My mother marched in there, and told that teacher that I could read as much as I wanted to, and that she [the teacher] was NEVER to EVER tell another student not to read EVER again, and if my mom found out the teacher did, she would make sure that the principals "fired your ass." Overreaction, yes. Awesome, very yes. * This Non-Troper's boyfriend number two (she's an averted and consentual version of the Unwanted Harem ) Is a Brother Wolf, He foundly rember a time when at School his younger sister was being buillied and he, normaly being Ashmatic and unable to run fast, didn't just run, but bolted over a wall just to punch the stupid little bully and get said bully away from his little sister. Needless to say that sister didn't get bullied in that school again. * Super protectiveness runs in [[{{Sgamer82}} this troper's]] family. His mom was a superb example. When an earthquake struck, she grabbed this troper's older brothers (then kids) and leaped over furniture to get them to safety. Feats of athleticism this troper's mom, being in her 50's or so, would have thought beyond her. Then there was the time she got a call at work from a frightened voice begging her to come home. Assuming it was one of her kids she did exactly that, only to find it was a practical joke by her daughter's ex-boyfriend. Mom's response to having her MamaBear instincts falsely activated: Scream at the guy as he rode off laughing on his motorcycle that she "hoped he broke his fucking neck." No sooner does he turn the corner then he gets in an accident and exactly that happens (he survived, I'm told). Then there was the time when this troper was little and another kid bit him, Mom put the fear of God into the brat by taking a piece of Styrofoam from a toy and biting ''it'' as if in warning. Her second son, this troper's older brother, inherited/learned enough from her that there is no doubt that, if tested, he would be a fearsome PapaWolf. When this troper niece, age six, came home from a friend's with a mark that looked suspiciously like a burn, he and his sisterin-law were ''relieved'' when it turned out to be ringworm because there was no doubt in our minds that the girl's father would've seriously hurt someone had it been what we thought it was. * Thistropper knows a Hmong exile(a real ProudWarriorRaceGuy back in the old country) who escorted his wife and children through the jungle for three days escaping from the North Vietnamese. As far as he knows none of them ever had the misfortune to catch up. Even Communists don't deserve that. ** Dude, that sounds like a CrowningMomentOfAwesome to me... * This Troper's Mom ''and'' Dad are both very overprotective. For example, when one of this Troper's teachers was a real prick who always picked on her and one day went so far she cried: ---> '''Mom:''' If you ever get upset again, honey, just tell Mommy and I'll go beat the bad guy up, okay? ---> '''Dad:''' If he ever make you cry again I swear I'll go over there with dynamite and make the whole damn instituition blow up!!!!!

* Both of this troper's parents. For the three of us especially, but for pretty much any kid if they thought it necessary. My normaly softspoken and slightly timid mother frequently took on very nasty teachers and principles who almost seemed to get high off of getting in her way. She won. She thought of herself as a mother tiger. Dad's CrowningMomentOfAwesome was when he went on a one man crusade that resulted in an overhaul of the Texas Little league. ** It's hereditary too. My family's full of them, but the two most memorable are Dad's mother who went from being literally too shy to talk to winning an argument with a nun. Anyone who's gone to catholic school knows what a feat that is. A cousin on mom's side held up a '''TRACTOR''' long enough for his son to be pulled out from under it. Or was it a train car? I can never remember which. * This troper has noticed that her school's cross-country coach plays the Papa Wolf part for her friend, whose actual father is rather noticeably estranged and cold to her. This troper has seen the coach and the dad interact before, and while dear ol' daddy doesn't seem to have much opinion about Coach, Coach quite openly dislikes him and has alluded to the fact that he acts more like a father than the actual dad does. My friend doesn't really know what to make of it. * This troper had a papa wolf moment. He saw that his girlfriend was getting mugged, so he threw a baseball that knocked the knife out of the thief's hand. Then he procceeded to beat the shit out of the mugger with a trash can. All this from a guy who lost fights to his younger siblings on a regular basis. ** [[TeamFortress2 "I'm battin' a thousand!]] C'mon sis, let's get outa hea." * This troper's parents separated when he was eight, and has no brothers, so he's very protective of his sisters and his mother. One of his classmates made the mistake of insulting the parenting abilities of his mother. This troper is pretty much never angry, but God help you if you insult his family. The bully left a dent in a nearby locker. No one has dared insult his family since Similarly, this troper has invoked ToThePain to those who have threatened his closest friend, who he sees as a little sister. * This troper used to have a math teacher who constantly used my work as an example of what not to do in class. Said teacher once showed my test scores to the class as an example of the "lowest grade [he] had ever given". When my mother (a college professor) found out, she went to a parent teacher conference with me and told him "It's come to my attention that your daughter is in my class. If you continue picking on my kid, I'll give you a choice: I submit the records of what you've been doing to the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act committee and get you fired, or I'll do the same thing to your daughter that you've been doing to mine." * This troper has an older brother who definitely qualifies for a Brother Wolf. When he found out I was being picked on at school, he stormed right in there and told that jerkass out in calm, cool TranquilFury: If he didn't leave me alone, he would be sticking headfirst through that wall wondering what the hell happened. Let's just say that bully never so much as looked at me again. * [[{{Crion87}} This troper]] had this happen from his mother plenty

of times, ''especially'' when he realised he had been had by [[{{TheFundamentalist}} his (now ex-)]] [[{{HookerWithAHeartOfGold}} girlfriend]] [[{{MoralEventHorizon}} (she revealed to him ''after'']] [[{{IfYouKnowWhatIMean}} the act was done]] [[{{MoralEventHorizon}} and after a condom broke]] [[{{HighOctaneNightmareFuel}} that she had an incurable STD]] - namely [[{{Squick}} hepatitis C]]). Thankfully, three months later, a blood test revealed that [[{{Crion87}} this troper]] dodged the bullet and didn't contract the disease. ''Boy'', did my mother verbally castigate my ex! I thought my mother was being a [[{{MyBelovedSmother}} Smother]] at first, but then I realise she probably saved my neck. * [[{{tenderlumpling}} This Troper]] went into Mama Bear mode while working at [=McDonald's=] once: One of my customers yelled at a fouryear-old (not his, or related to him in any way) for, of all things, touching his tray by mistake. I found the customer in the lobby and yelled, "YOU MADE THAT BOY CRY! DID YOUR DICK JUST GROW AN INCH?" to nothing but a shocked silence throughout the entire restaurant. Please note that This Troper is five feet tall in shoes, and the guy I yelled at was at least 6'6" and easily over 250 lbs. Also, that the sumbitch hurried out of there about as quickly as I've ever seen anybody move, with everyone glaring at him. Easily the single greatest moment of my life to date. * This Troper witnessed an amazing "Daughter Bear" moment in the gym he used to frequent. There was this tiny woman, probably 4'9 with sight problems, and her daughter 5'0. Said woman had problems with another steroid pumped woman, who one day attacked her. Seconds after the whole thing started, the daughter tackled the steroid woman and started beating her up, all while screaming to the top of her longs "NEVER.TOUCH.MY.MOTHER.AGAIN.BITCH". Three instructors were needed to separate her from the woman, who ended up with a broken nose and an almost fractured jaw. * My brother is a Bear-type (6'3 feet, basically a human brickwall), who will make you run if you ever bully or try to hit on his sister. I remember a case, where some slimy Casanova tried to seduce me, with bad results. As the creep was about few inches from me, my brother grabbed him by the front of his shirt and made it ''very'' clear, that if he tries... [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean to get physical against my will]] he'll be send to the hospital ''if he is lucky''. And if the creep wouldn't be lucky...no points from guessing where he would end up. Needless to say that the guy never laid an eye on me later that evening. * This Troper's older brother went full on Brother Bear when he found out a high school boy hit me in 7th grade. He waited outside of my Junior High school for 2hours everyday for a week waiting for this kid. My mom had to remind him of the possibilty of jail to get him to stop. That boy was never heard from again. --->This came from my own Mama Bear moment when said kid was trying to forcefully get a date from my best friend. He was 16, we were 13, and he was dating another one of our friends. I held him back so that she could escape, hence him following me home and my brother wanting to go every kind of crazy on his ass. * Never, ever, EVER, mess with This Troper's family or friends. EVER.

She has a Mama Bear who may be small and crippled with severe rheumathism, but she WILL tear you apart if you try to hurt her babies. And she won't even have to raise her voice, she'll have you peeing your pants by speaking softly. This troper's papa? A Papa Wolf with a badge. You. Do not. Mess. With his kids. Because if you do, you'll have a 6'4", 250-pound ex-military brickwall of unstoppable rage coming at you fast. Also, this troper is the Mama Bear of her group. This troper's twin is a Papa Wolf in his own right. They can combine forces if need be. * My wife, who is a social worker, was once threatened badly by a client at her office. He had found out her address, too. For the next few weeks, I -- a nearsighted and chubby white-collar worker who has not fought anyone since primary school -- escorted my wife to and from the office every day, always carrying an aluminium crutch. (It looks innocent, but is a useful cudgel.) That client spotted us once or twice, but stayed away. * [[{{Particleman}} This Troper]] has only been in one actual fistfight. It was in 8th grade and another student had been bullying other students, among other other things. He was able to put up with it when such things were directed at him, but once the bully [[BerserkButton messed with one of his few friends]] directly in front of him... well, seperating him from the bully took a total of four people and took a good twenty minutes. * [[{{Luna87}} This troper]] is a most definite Daughter Bear. I once chased down and beat up an art classmate in high school for just suggesting my mother was ugly. In a less confrontational moment, I once made a video response on You Tube (now taken down) where I flipped off a video of a protester who said Catholics (and ergo, my father) were going to hell (my father and I have a relationship with a very {{Well Done Son Guy}} vibe for the most part, so this was a gesture that even surprised me). * I do believe by best friends mother counts. A four star general, let me repeat, FOUR STAR General told her the her baby was the ugliest baby he had ever seen. She punched him out. * My younger brother has Asperger's. Because he acts weird and is over 6 feet, 200 pounds, some neophytes at a homeschool co-op were frightened of him and pressured the board to expel him. Nobody would tell me details, which frustrated me no end, and after I unloaded frustration and tears on an older friend, he, a retired Marine, offered to come with me to the co-op, find out who was attacking my family, and verbally chew them out or hospitalize them--my choice. I seriously considered it, but decided it would do more harm than good. * This troper was bullied for 3 years in high school. I mean, heavily bullied. Then his little sister got into high school, and the chief bully though it would be a good idea to pick on the rest of the family too. Well, to put it simply, five minutes later that fucker was inside a trash can trying to figure what the hell had happened. After that, I didn't see his lackeys hanging around him anymore, nor did he had the balls to even ''look at me'' in the following three years... although he tried to take me to the principal the morning after the incident accusing ''me'' of bullying ''him''. Good luck the principal wasn't that stupid.

* This Troper considers one of her friends to be like this, although (thankfully) has never had to act on them. Although This Troper DID have a Mama Bear moment last year. Last year there was a massive falling out between two members of our Nakama (over a freakin' BOX), and the situation steadily went downhill from there, and eventually the person who started the whole incident made a couple of nasty comments to This Troper, (one of them being a pretty cheap stab at This Troper's choice of spreading out her final year over two years), eventually it came to the end of school celebrations, and one member of my Nakama tried to patch things up by asking the person to end things on a happier note, instead of just ignoring us. The person pretty much threw it all into my friend's face and accused her of saying stuff that she never did (I know this person quite well, what she was accused of saying was OOC for her, she'd NEVER say that. Although it wasn't helped that the person pretty much hated my friend since they first met). Anyway the person left and told the teacher that was in charge of the senior students that my friend was harassing her so my friend got in trouble and was told to 'giver her some space' which she had been doing for the last FIVE MONTHS! When The Troper found my friend in tears, I was PISSED. When said person who made my cry walked past, it took two people - the friend who was wrongly accused, and one of the guys in my year level - to physically restrain me, and they had some trouble as well. Quite impressive considering that This Troper is only around 160cm tall give or take, and only weighs around 45kg and could pass for a 14 year old. You don't fuck with my friends. * My dad is a [[TheStoic peaceful man]], who prefers to think before he acts and [[{{Kuudere}} doesn't do excessive emoting]]. Fellow tropers will already realize, therefore... one does not fuck with his kids. I still recall the time he calmly explained to the kid that slammed a door on my hand that the apology and promise that it ended here had better be earnest, because if it was merely because the guy's mother was making him and he came after me again, there would be no third incident. My sister is a DeadpanSnarker {{Tsundere}}. Do not hurt my nieces. * This troper's mother is almost at the level of [[ASongOfIceAndFire Cersei Lannister]]. Smart, manipulative, knows how to work a person's heart, and wants to make sure I get to where I want in life. I could even be mistaken for [[TheJoffrey Cersei's brat]] when I was twelve...and I desperately want to forget ever having any similarities to THAT bastard. * This troper was born to two military parents, and raised on military bases. One would think this warning enough. Hint: Do NOT tell a military mother that she can't teach her daughter to defend herself. And do NOT keep a military brat after school for two hours without telling anyone. My parents are calm, they are kind, they are polite, they have gotten three teachers fired, two principals fired, one social worker fired, and put the fear of our family into a Colorado school district and a German hospital. And this badass is genetic. This troper is known for being calm and nonconfrontational, but when some brat that had been making fun of her boifriend all year made hir cry... Her lunging was what finally got security to pay attention, and

she was dragged to the office with her nails still in the boy's arm as she yelled about how he was 'going down with' her. This was followed up two years later with a boy insulting her in front of her little sister. That poor, poor boy... * This troper mama has told him that her mama was a mama bear. * This Troper has born witness to the wrath of Mama Bear on several occasions. The most noteworthy of which was when, in the fifth grade, an incident involving poorly-maintained playground equipment sent her to the ER with a broken wrist. The elementary school principal then had the nerve to tell her mother that the school was not obligated to cover her medical bill because, and I quote, "It's not the school's fault she's so much bigger than her classmates." While this Troper didn't have the fortune of witnessing the verbal beatdown that followed, she knows that the school paid up ''in full'', and the principal treated her with much, much more respect from that point onward. ** Another incident that this Troper vividly recalls was when one of the neighborhood bullies shot her younger brother in the arm with a BB gun. Troper's mom saw this, came tearing out the kitchen door like a proverbial bat out of Hell, yanked a switch off the nearest tree and proceeded to chase the little bastard ''all the way back to his house'' a block and a half away, whipping at his heels and shrieking like a banshee the whole time. When the brat's mother came to the door to see what was going on, ''she'' got screamed at, too, for not keeping her son in check, along with threats of calling the cops if he came anywhere near TM's kids again. Needless to say, he didn't cause any more problems. * You do not insult, harass, or otherwise bother this Troper's friends, especially about weight, appearance, and money, or she will punch you in the face or kick you in "a painful manner". It has happened before. * When this Tropers mother found out she was being picked on by the kids from the Home up the street, she told her to just ignore them. But when she found out one of the bullies had run her daughter over after she stuck up for a little girl that they were throwing rocks at, Tropers mother went into full Mamma Bear mode. She marched up to the Home, and screamed bloody murder at the staff, before dragging the kid back to our house to apologise, before threatening him with several of my fathers guns. The guy nearly wet himself in fright, and up untill he moved away from our area, he always crossed the road if he had to walk past our house. * [[Tropers/{{Punzie}} This Troper]] has been the TeamMom since she was in first grade, and has a long and proud history of getting medieval on the asses of those who mess with her friends. But the MostTriumphantExamples are probably in middle school when a guy called a very close friend of her's, who happens to be gay, a "faggot," and this troper calmly walked up to him and beat the crap out of him. Despite the fact that he was over six foot and 200 pounds, and this troper is 5' and has never weighed more than 95 pounds. The other being when she was 8 and her cousin made his little sister cry. Two seconds later he was bodily thrown into a cooler full of half-melted ice, face first, and shut in it. He's twice This Troper's size now and

just started hunting, and he's still scared of running afoul of her. * This troper is usually a very [[TheStoic laid back]] [[GentleGiant gentle giant]], but the second somebody messes with his close friends, they learn the very hard way that [[LightningBruiser not all big guys are slow.]] Also, if you go after this troper's FAMILY....[[UnstoppableRage the results are not pretty.]] * [[Contributors/{{Muse}} This troper's]] MamaBear incident is actually a little odd, when she thinks about it, since she was defending a fictional character of sorts (trope will continue in first person). It was my senior year of high school and we had 'seminars' instead of a health or gym class. This one seminar was a group of kids our age role-playing different scenarios. After each scenario was done, they'd come out and answer any questions we had, while they were still in character. This particular scenario happened to be about someone finding out that their sister was a lesbian, then basically disowning them because of this fact. I am fiercely loyal to my family and situations like this piss me off to no end; so I raised my hand and said "You disowned your sister merely because she's different from you? And yet you claim to love her. How SHALLOW can you get?!". I got a standing ovation from the entire senior class. * Ask this troper's friends about her relationship with her primary, and they'll agree: she's the tough one, the aggressive one, the fighter, the athlete. He's shy, quiet, reserved, a scholar, a geek. The ones who saw what happened at a bar when a stranger got a bit handsy with the troper have revised their assessment, and the primary's not allowed in that bar any more. * This troper had always seen her father as the quieter, more laid back of her two parents. This opinion was changed when I was moving back in from a room mate situation gone wrong. My parents and I had gone to get my stuff and found a note saying we couldn't on the door (which we ignored) and started to get my stuff. When the room mate came home, he threw a big hissy fit and threaten to call the police while getting in my face. Cue my father, who I swear was in the back room, appearing out of no where and verbally laying the smack down on the roommate, daring him to call the police, yelling at him to get out of my face and saying that we were getting my stuff and leaving. The look on my ex-room mate's face was PRICELESS! * This Troper has learned from experience that Papa Goats can be protective of their kids. They have horns for a reason. In my defense, I wasn't trying to hurt the kid, I just wanted to pet it. (Aw, li'l baby goat! C'mere, li'l baby goat! AAARGH!) This Troper also witnessed a pair of geese (a goose and a gander?) become fiercely protective of their goslings. Yes, you may throw them bread crumbs. No, you may not touch them. * This Troper had a Mama Bear moment when she was 8 in the name of her 5 year old brother. On the bus, a 12th grader was gently tossing him up and down, and accidentally hit her brother's head on the roof. This Troper marched down there, sent her brother back to our best friend at the front and threatened holy hell on a guy just over twice her height. On being told that he'd come in the night and kill all her family because he was a vampire, she told him she was a witch and would curse him so hard he'd die on the spot. Mess with my family will

you! * This Troper heard about a teacher in his school having a MamaBear moment. Her class was mostly made of immigrants (in which country this happened and who the immigrants were DOES NOT matter). Another teacher (male) didn't quite like these immigrants, and made sure they all know that. One day he went too far and a girl ran out of the class crying. The MamaBear teacher saw her running in the hallway and asked her what's wrong. What ensued can be described as a moment of ultimate Badassery since the MamaBear charged in to the classroom while the other teacher was insulting yet another immigrant girl and pummeled him into oblivion in her Crowning Moment of Awesome. * This Troper's aunt used to work in the. One time during night shift a large man, I can't recall whether he had a slight injury or was there on behalf of another person, began harassing the ER staff and other patients in the waiting room. My aunt, who is 5'2" and reedy, was in the back of the office filing, and said in a clear voice, "Sir, if you don't sit down I will make you sit down and I'll stitch your lips shut!" Her head was down so he couldn't see her, so he probably thought it was the voice of God or something. "Really?" "Yes, I will!" He went back to his chair and sat, knees together, hands on knees, meek as a kitten. * This troper's brother is rather boisterous. So when he comes back, complaining that he was bullied by 2 of his classmates, this troper was surprised. He paid a visit to his brother's school the next day and asked his brother to point out the bullies. They didn't expect someone 8 years older than them to grab them by the collar and drag them across the school. * [[{{MiraShio}} Mira-chan]] heard about how her older sister, as a toddler who was too small for a seatbelt, once crashed into the dashboard because of a reckless driver who cut right in front of our mom. Mom promptly [[DrivesLikeCrazy chased said driver madly]] and then stepped out of her car to land a punch on his nose. Which broke. Bloodily. * TagTeam Family-Bear for my younger sister and I. Our mother is morbidly obese, had a benign brain tumor removed, suffered permanent knee damage falling down a flight of stairs, and has to walk everywhere with a cane. And God help anyone outside the family who makes fun of her for any of them. She is a very kind and funny woman who has been the best mother I could ever imagine. Anyway...Several years ago, my parents and younger sister and I were at some kind of event. While Dad was browsing some of the vendors wares, Mom decided to rest her legs and take a seat. The plastic chair she sat in broke near-instantaneously. Dad was not aware of this. Mom, who has always been a bit weepy, had started to cry from the embarrassment of the situation. My sister and I tried to comfort her. A passerby, a muscular man in his late 20's, made a rather cruel remark at our mother's expense. The remark, if memory serves, was "Instead of crying about it, how bout you lose some weight fatass." Enraged, my sister and I flew at the man and began pummeling and scratching every bit of him we could reach. Bystanders were too stunned to react (so was Mom). It was about this time Dad returned. He pulled us off the man, and very calmly asked for an explanation. Crying ourselves, we explained

what the man had done. Solemnly, Dad nodded and turned back to the man and asked if this was true. The man agreed. Again, Dad nodded, as though processing the information. Then, he sucker-punched the man. While the asshole was lying stunned on the ground, Dad told him to count himself lucky that he hadn't been there at the time. The man, bruised and bloody, fled while he had the chance. We then went out for ice cream. Our ages at the time: 9 and 7, respectively. NO ONE talks down to my mother and gets away with it. * This Troper has a younger brother and sister that she is 6 and 8 years older than, respectively. While this Troper helped raise them, and it is rather expected for this troper and her brother to be Mama and Brother Bears to the youngest, the youngest seems to be the fiercest Mama Bear of them all. One example was when this troper's baby sister was in elementary school (1st or 2nd grade) and Dad had to be called to the Principal's office because baby sister had been repeatedly beating up much older and bigger boys using Taekwondo for (what else?) being mean and picking on her shy and quiet friends. As this troper's sister stated in her defense, "They were asking for it! No one picks on my friends!" The second example still makes this troper's eyes misty; when this troper's long time (now ex) fiance had been cheating on her and it ended the wedding plans, baby sister (then 16ish) tried to gain retribution through severe bodily harm to the (then 24) cheating bastard if she "ever crossed his path again." And this troper's baby sister is barely 5' tall and weighs maybe 110 lbs wet, but no one questioned her ability. * This Troper knew a family with two sons and a rescued female pitbull, easily the sweetest beast on four paws. Not always that bright, but lovable and gentle. Until the boys started wrestling, like boys do. No matter who started the fight, she would always take the younger one's side, growling and barking like crazy at the older boy, even grabbing him by the seat of the pants when he got too rough. * This Troper's father was always a very gentle man, being very much a flowerchild who never really left the 60's. He was a firm believer in non-violence, and took great pains to raise my brother, myself, and my half-sister to be the same. However, he was also a 6'4'' Sasquatch of a man who in addition to being lead singer and songwriter for his band, also acted as roadie, and perfectly willing to give in to his more violent feelings when his children were threatened. One incident that comes to mind happened when I was in middle school, when I was attacked by a classmate for being "a fucking freak". My father then went to the boy's home, where he was playing basketball in the yard, grabbed him by the back of his shirt, and lifted him completely off the ground, and hauled him to where his parents were. He then proceeded to explain, very calmly, that he knew where the kid lived, and their son was NOT to come near me ever again. I later learned that there were a string of very similar incidents in my father's past, mostly having to do with either his band mates or his younger cousins being threatened. Amongst his circle of friends, he was often referred to as "Mom". * My Mum is like this for me, being her only child. Once, while playing by myself in a park not far from where we lived while staying in another country, I broke my nose, and screamed. Somehow, from

inside our apartment on the third floor, she HEARD me, and ran down three flights of stairs and got to me within about two minutes, and carried me all the way back up to the apartment. I was a tall, overweight eight year old and she was an out of shape woman in her forties, but she was superwoman that day. ** Same Troper, and, additionally, the only cool thing about my Grandparents was when they were like this for my mother. My mother was brought up in the '50s and '60s when teachers could still hit kids, and, in about third grade, a teacher hit her with a ruler for making spelling mistakes or something. The second they found out about this, her parents marched right up to the school and confronted the teacher for hitting her like that. The teacher never hit her (or, to my knowledge, anyone else) ever again. * This Troper earned her Mama Bear tendencies from her own mother. A {{DeadpanSnarker}} standing at 5', she would come to my rescue throughout my childhood, even if the bullies were related to us. As an example, one of my male cousins from her side of the family decided it'd be great to dump dog shit over my head at a get together. The moment she found out, mom bolted out of the house and proceeded to verbally rip into him while HIS mother tended to me. I got free holographic Pokemon cards out of that deal. ** Come high school, though, mom began teaching me the Way of the Snarking Bear. A {{Kuudere}} standing at 5'9", anyone who messed with my two (disabled) younger brothers, my few close friends throughout high school, or even anyone I befriended online wouldn't come out of it unscathed. The best example was one that resulted in respect and a vow of silence from everyone present. After our teacher was called out of the class for a moment, a girl started harassing one of my gay friends. Rather than sit by and allow him to get verbally assaulted, I went from Antisocial Quiet Girl to Mama Bear in ten seconds flat. A scuffle ensued, which resulted in a shiner and some missing hair on my end, with a bloody nose, a split lip, and the wind being knocked on hers. Everyone in the classroom was simultaneously stunned and impressed, which resulted in no one telling the teacher what happened when the girl wasn't there when he came back and I had a black eye developing. * This Troper's surrogate mother (technical grandmother). She was a short old lady who smelled of peppermint and not in the least bit threatening. But if you somehow do something to any of her children (or grandchildren)...She becomes the enbodiment of TranquilFury. She won't pull a Molly Weasley... she won't shout... she will just quietly instil fear into your heart. * I don't know who was more scared: me seeing my mom transform into a fury or the guys she pushed of their bikes and shouted at after bullying me. * This tropette was once dragged out of her classroom by her 2nd grade teacher. Apparently the teacher though that I cut some of a boy's hair and got pissed. She called my parents and pulled me outside by the collar of my shirt. She then stopped right next to the car and proceeded to shout at me and shake me simultaneously, making me start to sob and almost piss myself. If it weren't for my dad holding my mum back, my mum would have jumped outside the car and beaten the woman to

within an inch of her life. * This troper's father can go PapaWolf for his children, ''against'' his ''other'' children! Two examples; once Troper's Older Brother jumped on Youngest Brother from the top of the stairs--on purpose. Older Brother is TheBigGuy, lifts weights...Youngest Brother was five at the time. Father tended to Youngest Brother's wounds, then charged right over to Oldest Brother and flung him to the ground, screaming that he could have easily killed Youngest Brother, and that if he ''had''...'''"I'd break every damn bone in your miserable BODY!"''' Later, after several years of violence towards our younger siblings (five, seven, and eight), Older Brother turned 18 and moved out. After punching younger siblings several times, enough to badly hurt them, he gloated that since he was a free man, Father couldn't punish him. Father ended up calling Brother at his new house, explaining in a [[TranquilFury calm and chilling voice]], that if he came near his children again, he would slap his oldest son with an assault lawsuit so fast he wouldn't know what had happened. * I have Polyamourous parents, and ALL SIX of my 'moms' are like this. [[HolyShitQuotient HSQ]], anybody? * This troper's dad is known for being extremely laid-back and avoiding confrontation if at all possible. Add her mother's sudden religious phase and the story of Abraham and Isaac, and a much younger troper found herself confused and worried. When she asked her dad what he would do if God ever asked him to sacrifice his children, her dad said (in less polite terms), "I'd tell God that He can stick it in His ear." * This is kind of an odd example. My family used to have a German shepherd, whom we picked when she was a puppy specifically because she seemed more calm and sweet than her siblings. She got along with everyone and hardly even barked at other dogs. She even got along with our kitten, to the point where they would share her bed at night. We live near the woods, so our cats are outdoor cats. One night, our cat was out late, so we left our sliding door open a crack for her to come back inside. In the middle of the night, I woke up to hear our German shepherd snarling and racing across the floor downstairs, and by the time I got down there to see what the problem was, she had shoved her way out the door and run into the woods. It turns out there was a coyote out there that night, and it had attacked our cat, who unfortunately didn't survive. The amazing thing was that it didn't kill her in the woods. The next morning, we found that our cat had made it all the way back to our garage and crawled inside before she died, so she could be at home. I don't think she would have been able to make it that far if our dog hadn't run out there to chase the coyote off. ** I even managed to share a double Mama Bear moment with this dog later on. When my younger sister and I were little, we went out sledding on the hill in front of our house. Some punk kids started throwing snowballs at my sister, and our dog started running out of our house to defend her. The kids then started throwing snowballs at my dog, prompting me to throw snowballs in their faces and shove them down the hill. * My sister is three years younger than I am and probably has twice my

muscle mass and extensive martial arts training. She could probably hand my ass to me on a china plate before I even know what hit me. However, when we were little kids, she was shy, softspoken and particularly clumsy, making her a target for all kinds of bullying and general misfortune. Whenever we were together, I frequently had to save her from snapping turtles, large waves at the beach and broken glass. One day I found myself defending her from a neighborhood boy at our bus stop. He kept picking on her and pulling on the hood of her jacket to make her fall over, and neither the group of our peers ''nor their watching parents'' did anything to stop him. Several of the parents thought it was cute that he obviously had a crush on her and was therefore tormenting her. I quickly took matters into my own hands by shoving him into a very frozen snowbank and putting ice on his ears and down his shirt, mixing verbal threats and throwing him around a little by his coat. Some parents did have to separate us, but they stopped laughing about it after that and kept him away from my sister. * Despite the fact that this troper and his sister argue a lot, we also care about each other a lot. One time when two assholes were bothering this troper, she got her and her friends to corner them and to tell them to stop. They stopped bothering this troper for the rest of the year. When another group was bothering him, she threatened to go up to them and to shut them up. From this troper's eyes, his sister is a true Mama Bear in the making. * This troper has a co-worker who is usually (on the clock, anyway) a mild-mannered librarian who can deal with the biggest jerks without raising an eyebrow -- so long as they're only rude to her. If the jerk messes with any of the rest of us, said co-worker will verbally hand him/her his ass and get him permabanned (after making him apologize). Don't mess with the mama librarian. * One of the officers in my ''WorldOfWarcraft'' guild is this down to the letter. She's very motherly to everyone and one of the nicest people you'll ever meet. I was talking once about how I always want her Paladin to heal my Death Knight when I tank instances because she doesn't let me die and she said, "I take care of my boys." If you do anything to one of her friends, you should probably turn in the other direction and get out of the way very fast. * This tropers had a friend who had a Labrador with puppies. [[WhatCouldPossiblyGoWrong They lived right next to a busy road]]. Once the gates were unlocked and one of the puppies pushed thourgh and wandered onto the path. The Labrador rushed towards her puppy a dragged it back inside the house. * I've always been the geeky, shy kid. I can take a lot of crap, but when it gets too much, [[BewareTheNiceOnes you better run]]. My father is a military veteran who worked both on the front lines and as one of those "i cant tell you or i'd have to kill you" people. My mother is a usually quiet woman who doesn't say much to anyone outside of her own family and is generally in good humor. My sister is a DeadpanSnarker who would never, EVER let anyone harm me. And they're all the embodiment of this trope. Here are a few examples. ** When I was in kindergarten I got sent to the principal's office for something stupid, throwing bark I think. The principal then ''[[OhNoYouDidnt told my parents that he was a worthless child and

would never amount to anything in life]]''. Although this troper didn't get to hear that particular conversation, he finds it worth mention that within the week the principal was fired and a new, much better one was instituted in her place. ** Later on in Middle School, I was again being bothered by a member of the teaching staff. I got in trouble for talking in class, apparently, and was sentenced to either come early to school and serve detention for two days(something impossible for my ride to pull off), or use my final period of the day (the 'fun' classes) to serve this detention time in ISS. So I elected to take the ISS time, of course. I attended the first two days and got through it without issue, and attended my PE class the third day. On the way to the bathroom (there wasn't one inside the gym), the ISS teacher saw me walk past her door and forced me to come inside the class, telling me that anyone who entered her room instantly got five days. I got pissed off and told her i refused to do it, and she took me to the principal's office and called my parents. She only managed to get a hold of my mother, who took me home instantly, telling the vice principal (the principal was out that day) very calmly that "We will resolve this tomorrow morning with the person in charge. You make sure that ''woman'' is here." Though I was in class at that time, from what i've heard afterwards, my father went on a TIRADE resulting in that teacher never looking at me again, and even taking different routes to avoid me in the hallway. ** This third story involves myself being a Grandson Wolf during seventh grade. One of the school bullies thought it was a good idea to make jokes about my recently-deceased grandmother, who died from a doctor's mistake during a routine operation. He had overheard me telling a few friends and said to me, [[TooDumbToLive "Well maybe if you could afford better doctors she'd still be here." ]] I attacked him instantly (this being in the middle of a crowded lunchroom with every teacher on the hallway monitoring it), screaming obscenities and even beating him with my own shoe when it came off during the scuffle. It took several teachers to seperate us, but he didn't speak to me for the rest of the year. Now he's finally made it to my highschool (a year behind, presumably he failed seventh grade) and STILL avoids me. ** I myself am a PapaWolf of sorts now. Even to my online friends (who i have never met in real life), i chewed out an enemy of ours on [[WorldofWarcraft]] which has resulted in his own guild disbanding while ours thrives. My friend (who happens to be the Guild Master) is one for me, despite several peoples' requests to remove me from the guild. ** My final of these many stories is one I would prefer to keep under wraps, but has travelled far and wide. In Middle School, a certain bully picked on me specifically and over the entire year. On the second to last day of school, He pushed me too far when he told me that he would [[BerserkButton come to my family's house and kill them]]. I got up in his face, and told him from a creepy monotone[[TranquilFury into a growing fury]], "You think you're a big shot. You've been pushing me around and you think you can get away with whatever you say to me and I won't do anything about it. Listen to me, because I'm only going to say this to you once; you can push me around all you like. Tease me, insult me, ruin my life, cause me

bodily harm, destroy my reputation. But if you ever, ''ever'' threaten my family, I will personally rip you apart. I will put you in the hospital and ''if'' you get out you will shit yourself every time you come near me. Because you don't ''FUCK WITH MY GODDAMN FAMILY''. At this point, I was in an [[UnstoppableRage Unstoppable Rage]], and the idiot had [[TooDumbToLive the gall to push me into a table]]. I threw my entire being at him, pulling out all stops, throwing various objects (including several chairs) at him and kicking him directly in the face. Even when i slipped and fell I kept fighting him, and brought him down with me. It took four teachers to pull us apart, and we were both suspended for the final day of the year. I proceeded to the high school most kids in that school went to, and so did he...but to this day, he has not once talked, looked at, or even been near me. He and his crowd have stayed far, far, far away from myself and my friends, and avoid picking on any of them or me. This story has gone to everyone in the school, and nobody has even talked down to me, much less tried to pick a fight. They actually fear me, which i find ironic considering i'm the nerdy fat kid of my group. It helps that they think i'm insane. * This troper hates violence and is generally a person that gets along with everyone; but do not SCREW with my younger sister. This troper will KINDLY kick your ass with a smile. That is mostly likely the reason that my sister's ex wont come to town anymore..the last time he was here I beat him into a wall for making her FROWN...and now he's gone and broke up with her over text message..He BETTER STAY AWAY. I can LIVE WITH going to jail. DO. NOT.MESS.WITH.MY.SISTER!! * This was mentioned already on the tales for [[TroperTales/FullFrontAssault Full Frontal Assault]], but it counts for here too...In summer, the only ones who wear clothes to bed are the littler kids--this female troper, her older brother, and her parents tend to sleep in the buff. On the ''really'' hot nights, we sleep above the covers. One night, troper woke up from a noise, looked up, and saw a neighbor boy standing on the roof outside, looking into her window. He had a full view of troper's naked body. Troper freaked out, screamed, and it woke up her father...who came charging into the room, completely naked, saw what she was screaming about and ran to the window, giving neighbor a [[FanDisservice good look at his burly, big-stomached, hairy man-body]]. He moved to open the window (this troper doesn't want to imagine what would have happened if he had), but the neighbor boy practically ''jumped'' off the roof before anything could be done. Troper's dad spent the next few minutes comforting this troper (after throwing something on around his waist, thank God), making damn sure the neighbor boy had gone and wouldn't be tempted to come back, and then pushed a bit of furniture in front of the window in case curtains weren't enough. The next morning, troper found out that he also found the guy's phone number, called him up, and made clear that he was ''never'' to peep on his children again. * This troper is a total PapaWolf, (she'd be the MamaBear but her role as TeamDad changes things). One time in first grade a bully was picking on a member of my {{Nakama}}. She made him wish she was MamaBear. Several more incidents follow along the same lines, though one of the other memorable ones was when this troper was getting

picked on, her mother who also happened to be the dojo's resident TeamMom, went MamaBear on the antagonizers pretty fast. It's all in the blood I swear. * My TKD instructor (Jim) is this when it comes to his daughters. And me, apparently. According to him, when I start dating, he is planning on following me. While dressed as a ninja. * This Troper's cat, who is usually foul tempered anyway, once attacked a Greyhound instantly when it went near one of her kittens. Never seen the Dog run faster in my life. * This Troper's mom was never really like that with me (she was more of the "if you fall down enough, you'll figure out how not to" school) but was at least once as a kid. At age 8, she lived in rural Maryland, and was out playing with her friend, a younger boy. They got attacked by a pack of feral dogs. The boy couldn't get away, so to give him time to climb a tree, my mom kicked several of the dogs in the face. She kept kicking even after they savagely tore off much of the flesh on her foot (she described it as wearing a flip-flop, only the bit that flops off used to be attached...). * This troper is somewhat nonviolent, but she's a definite Mama Bear towards her friends. In her art class just two days ago, two girls were crowded around this troper's (rather meek) male friend and berating him constantly for things I didn't need to know the details of. I went over to them with my best death glare, tapped them both on the shoulders, and when they turned around I growled: -->"If you want to leave this classroom alive, you'd better shut up and go back to your ''God '''damn''' seats''." ** Probably not the ''smartest'' choice of words, since I have several mandatory meetings with the school psychologist scheduled for making this threat, but it was worth it all the same. ** This trope still applies for this troper's online friends. This sums it up perfectly: --->Oh don't you worry. I'll be waiting down here in my home-sweethome of [state name withheld). I'll be here with a shotgun and Metal Gear REX, just waiting for you. I'll give you a fight, but it won't be a fair one. I know what you tried to do to my girl [friend's name withheld], and let me just say this: you are lucky I wasn't there. I would've gone Ryu Hayabusa on your ass and cut you in half like a fighter plane. I would've gone Vulcan Raven and tore you apart with an M61. I would've gone Liquid Snake and kicked your ass with my bare hands. So just come here and get it, I'm ''waiting~'' * [[Tropers/RedWren This Troper]] is always confused at people who don't understand this, as (she assumes this is what happened) she had so many people in her life who were like this that getting between a parent and child makes her feel wrong. As in, "Okay, yeah, can I just scrunch in this uncomfortable corner with gum sticking close to my hair and avoid that? ''Ah...'' [[SincerityMode That's better.]]" * I had a PapaWolf/pseudo KnightTemplarBigBrother moment in high school. Now, I wasn't bothered much in high school. Not due to my appearance, as I was tall, slim and wore glasses, but because a vast majority of the school population thought I was a psycho who would kill with little to no provocation. Incidents in my past lead to this characterization, and I spread more stories to reinforce I was not to

be messed with. Fear is a powerful tool. Well, one guy didn't get the memo. He hounded me from the first time I met him for no given reason. He insulted me constantly and generally gave me a hard time, but I let it roll off my back. Then I found out he was also (coincidentally) harassing my best friend, who is like a sister to me, and once reduced her to tears. So, one day I'm in the bathroom before class, and said tormentor walks in. He starts into his usual routine and I simply tell him that "everyone has a breaking point" and that he shouldn't treat women poorly. He said he saw me talking to my friend while she was crying and called her several bad names. [[BerserkButton That was it]]. I turned around and kicked him [[GroinAttack square in the balls]] and then clamp my hand around his throat, slamming him against the wall with a satisfying THUD. I then said to him that his insults end right then and there. I told him if the endgame was to get me to fight him, then that is when it would happen, and that I would eviscerate him right there in the bathroom. By this point his face had taken on a purplish-red hue. I asked him if he'd rather let it stop, or die then and there, and he choked out that it would stop. I thanked him, let him go and left for class, and he never told anyone about said incident (probably didn't want to admit I beat him up) and never bothered me or my friend again. * I have a father like this. He's usually cool and friendly enough. However, my brother has a shed near our house where he and his friends hang out, party, drink or all of the above. One night, one of his more distant friends (as in, just some hanger-on guy) tried to get into the house for some reason or other(he thought he'd forgotten something. He hadn't), while me and my sisters (younger than my brother, underage at the time) were already sleeping. My father didn't like that, and he came at the guy and the guys behind him with a plank with nails in it. If that hadn't been lying around, he'd have gone after them with his bare hands. My father is six feet tall and is broad in a combination of fat and muscles way. Needless to say, those guys ran. Me and my sisters slept pretty well. * This Troper's mother has and always will be a Mother Bear. There's two big moments for me though. Once when I was in the third grade and my teacher was a total bitch about homework (It had to be on her desk before the bell rang) and while I was always an obsessively good kid and a BIG brownnoser (I'd cry if I got into trouble because I hated it so much) I was bad at remembering to do things like that, so I turned in...maybe 1 out of every 5 assignments? If that? So my mom came in to talk to the princple, got so pissed that she stormed into my class room DURING class to yell at my teacher. Who told her that it was her job to teach me 'responsibly'....My mom got so mad that she actually yelled that it was HER job to teach me responsibly and the teacher's to teach me the three R's and NOTHING else. I was really popular with the kids after that...and really NOT popular with the teacher after that. * [[TheGrayestFox My]] Grandfather is a Papa Wolf. He's a retired fireman with bad knees, failing vision, and diabetes. One day, I was watching a school concert. After the concert, a gang of bullies cornered me and my sister. Suddenly, Grandpa was standing there, holding the lead bully off the ground. He said that if they ever put a

finger on his grandkids, he'd beat them within an inch of their life. After they left, we all pretended it never happened. The other time was when I was a lot older and my mother's ex still lived with us. His name was on the lease and he refused to go, so legally we couldn't make him. Three months he lives with us after we tell him to go (never mind the six months before where we didn't tell him but clearly didn't want him), and my mom is helpless to stop him. Then one night he comes home to yell at me, long and had for something really stupid and I actually get scared (this man is a jerk but not someone to hit women or children) so I call her up. She goes silent on the phone and says she'll be home in five minutes. I see her come through the door then go straight downstairs to talk to him. He left the next day. Later I learned that my mom opened their bedroom window and literately yelled to the neighborhood that he was hitting her and then promised him she would beat herself senseless and cry rape if he didn't either a) get out of our house right now or b) apologize to me. My mom is a great and wonderful lady who doesn't stand up for herself enough, but you threaten me and suddenly you're in for a world of hurt. * My mother is this. When my sister's abusive boyfriend threatened to take her and their extremely young son to a bar, and was generally not a good person, my mom beat the snot out of him. When a principal had an insanely stupid rule I couldn't physically comply with that got me detention a lot, my mom stormed into the office, demanded every one of my teachers be brought in and spent a good hour or too giving them heck. And it wasn't blind fury ether, she talked to them in that tone of voice that only mothers are able to use when they're telling their children they've done something wrong. One week later, the principal (who'd recieved the most of it) mysterously retired without warning and I had few problems the rest of middle school. * The "overprotectiveness gene" of this troper's family has complete dominance in them. Not only his parents and himself are heavily protective of each other, but his "almost adoptive son" (An extremely premature baby, whose mother died at his birth and who this troper treated and raised until he got an adorable adoptive mother, a month after that), now 6 years old, got a "Big bro instinct" running as well. He made friends with a girl with highly functional autism who was being bullied by the Libby of the class. The boy told her teacher and then the principal and they didn't do anything. Then he told the girl that she better stop bullying the girl or else. She challenged him. Cue his parents being called to the school because the boy hit the bully repeteadly with a chair. She never bullied the other girl again. * This Troper's best friend and her [[TheClan family]]. They are poor as church mice, [[KindHeartedCatPeople animal lovers]], all tiny, and several are professional dancers. When this troper's now ex-boyfriend cheated on her, her friend and family came forward and with one voice offered to beat the shit out of him. If I were him, I'd run. Fast. * This Troper just found out that her [[BewareTheNiceOnes usually mild-mannered grandmother]] once read the riot act to a biker gang and

told them to get lost after they almost ran over her five-year-old son. They promptly complied. * This troper is a Mama Bear, despite being the youngest of her {{Nakama}}. I don't like people messing with my "kids," and most everyone I know gets this--or, well, or else. (It helps that it's a big {{Beware the Nice Ones}} thing; most people just assume that I'm sweet and mild-mannered.) And even for my siblings I end up being this; some jerk tried to bully my little brothers...and, well, [[{{Noodle Incident}} it didn't end well.]] (For him, anyway.) * [[{{Tropers/Luna87}} This troper's]] mom has made it clear that should I ever have a boyfriend who's mean to me, she'll beat the snot out of him. My dad is also a PapaWolf, especially to [[TheWoobie my youngest brother]], whom he thinks we sometimes gang up on too much. * This troper seems to have inherited her mother's Mama Bear tendencies. Whenever she is bullied, her mother will come in and sic the Deputy Head on the bullies. However, once the bullies started on one of this troper's (male) best friends. She broke his arm wearing her best SlasherSmile and nobody believed that such a ''charming'' girl could do such a thing, particularly considering this boy was a huge liar and built like a bus. This has not made people leave the troper herself alone, but they damn well stay away from her friends. * This troper has a friend, who does catering work with a company that runs a major venue in our nation's capital. As a result of this job, she knows quite a few performers and celebrities who do shows there, in particular [[{{WWE}} professional wrestlers]]. Said friend is not the biggest person in the world, but makes up for it with extra feisty. All the wrestlers like her a lot, to the point where, when a delivery man got in her face about something, a whole table of wrestlers stood up with bad intentions. Friend had them back off and then told off the delivery man herself. She came from a family of Mama Bears, and was not someone you ''ever'' wanted to piss off. * I one time saw baby goose and got a little to close to them the next thing I know it I found the mother running at me hissing. * This troper's ENTIRE family chould be MamaBears and PapaWolfs. Not much of our extended family are close and some cousins actually are in a long standing feud. But the family that stay weaved together are nothing short of TheClan. Because I'm one of the youngest in the family and because of my AspergersSyndrom, I've witnessed ALOT of MamaBear and PapaWolf moments. ** My Mum. Despite being a GenkiGirl with a history of joking and pranks, she is very protective of all three of her babies. She is well known for being ridiculously tough and loud when dealing with unsavory teachers or bullies. Her BeserkButton was pushed when my eldest sister was phyisicaly bullied because of her Autism. Mum went into rage and got into an arguement with our principal and year heads. ** My Dad. A GentleGiant and a BigEater that loves cats and Disney movies. Then he finds out about any bullying and becomes TheHulk. He has a habit of treatening the school if the bullying get particularly nasty. Once fought off an English Collie because it tried to bite me when I was a toddler. Even torwards ''the cats'' he is a PapaWolf! ** My Grandpa on my Dad's side. Despite being very old and generaly very sweet, he is told by memebers of the family to have been one in

the past regarding my dad and my aunt. He was also involved in the 'English Collie incident'. ** My eldest sister. Another Aspie and an IronWoobie. She was bullied heavily in her years of school and gets pretty damn angry when someone makes fun of me for having Aspergers. Once strangled a guy into unconciousness when he insulted the family. Often gets into TranquilFury and reports any bullying instantly and shortly afterwards needing a hug. Once treatened to beat the shit out of kids that had been bullying me. ** Second Sister. TheStoic and OnlySaneMan of the family. Never gets angry...unless if I get hurt. One day we were STALKED by two very nasty first years who started throwing things like popcorn at us and calling our mother a slut and calling me retarded, because we Wouldn't Hurt A Child we didn't do anything (I punched a third one who ran off and 'accidently' vomited on one of them, like a Boomer from Left 4 Dead) soon the Eldest sister was trying to hold back tears and I was in Unstoppable Rage. The second sister calmly continued walking home and finally as we got to our street, ROARED at them in retaliation, this got the attention of our mum who pulled a frightening MamaBear moment. ** Me. I'm many things, a JerkassWoobie, CloudCuckooLander and The Team Grandma of my entire 2nd and 1st year. I often end up treating the other kids my age like my own grandkids, giving them sweets, calling them pet names and often being a comforting figure when they're upset. I was the Team Grandma even in Primary School, my greatest moments was when a smaller student was crying because of being unable to see her friends over the holidays and I ended up hugging her and telling her that there will be always a time in future to play and another was when a younger girl was getting beaten up during lunch break, I ended up separating the two and coaxed the girl to a teacher. * In the mid-90s my family was living in Alice Springs and we had gotten a kitten. When she was only about a year and a half old, we woke up to find a Brown Snake in our foyer. We all stayed in the master bedroom and called a snake-catcher. When he arrived, he knocked on the door and showed us the snake's body. He asked if we had a pet, and we told him we had a young cat. He showed us the snake's corpse, and told us that our young cat had attacked and killed one of the deadliest snakes in the world. Mama Bear indeed. * The {{jerk with a heart of gold}} in this troper's {{nakama}} counts as a mama bear. As much of a pain as she is to us, she will not allow anyone else to do it. As an example, there was one incident where a girl said something very (racially) offensive to this troper. Later on, said girl ended up having the life nearly choked out of her. My friend made her give me an apology in front of our whole class. And that's just one example. * Back in high school, some annoying little drip kept pestering me and my friend, mostly my friend, during lunch period. Mostly by tossing food at our table. I was already having a bad day by that point. In the gym he escalated it by whipping basketballs at my friend, beaning him in the face multiple times. I grabbed that beanpole JerkAss by the shirt, did a 360-spin with him, and threw him about 15 feet before he

slammed hard into the bleachers. Took him a while to recover from his daze. I glared at him in the eye and he looked back like he was just stoned out of his mind, in complete incomprehension of what I just did to his ass. Did I mention I happen to be six-and-a-half feet tall and weigh over 300 lbs of nothing but angry Scotsman muscle? I'm the stereotypical GentleGiant most of the time, but if you piss me off by pissing on my friends... * This Troper has a rather strange case of this - her own father was, let's say, [[AbusiveParents rather]] [[NightmareFuel lacking]] in the parenting department. Her [[{{Nakama}} friends]] (including former schoolmates and the staff at her favourite haunt) and [[RagtagBunchOfMisfits colleagues]] (including ex soldiers and amateur rugby players) have let it be known that if he ever even DARES go near her or threaten her or use her or upset her in the smallest way EVER AGAIN, they're going to [[NoHoldsBarredBeatdown utterly]] [[CurbStompBattle annihilate]] him. * This Tropers Grandfather he was known if he didn't like you he would just give a [[Death Glare]] but Mess with his kids he would talk to you very calmly and will tell you to leave also he didn't have a yelling voice so he was very quiet but mess with his Grandkids you will be on the receiving end of a twelve gauge shotgun * another animal version! this troper used to have hamsters, and long story short, Smokie turned out to be a girl. now, we also had catskittens really, but still. So Smokie, a little dwarf hamster, smaller than most due to giving birth twice in two months, when she was still very young herself, is wandering around in her cage with her little ones sleeping, when one of the cats gets into my room and is staring at the cage, mostly just interested. Smoky climes up the side of the cage, waits for the cat to get close enough, then '' attacks, through the cage, with teeth and claws'' this was 4 years ago, and the cat( who has been terrified of tail-less rodents ever since) still has a scar on her nose. * No one fucks with my animals or else I'll have their asses tanned. * My mother, sister and brother. If you do anything serious to any close relative of theirs, and they find out, they will kick your ass. Each of them may have caused permanent damage because of this trope, though it's not very likely - Rottenvenetic * This troper is not aggressive, strong, or even HotBlooded, but one time, a person was picking on the [[IronWoobie exact]] [[DumbMuscle opposite]] of this [[ManChild troper]]. This troper has no recollection, but as its describe the ManChild friend who had to pull him off of the fool. "It was the [[TranquilFury coldest fury]] I have ever saw. Its like you were my old man" * I was in a room with my (maternal) grandfather who started making "jokes" about the bit of weight I had gained in college. My mother came in, sat down and happily asked what everyone was talking about.

When my grandfather shared his comments about me, my mom's face clouded, her eyes flashed and she said, "Louie, don't you DARE say those things to my daughter. You pulled that same crap with me when I was growing up and I am NOT going to let you do it to her!" * This troper's Mama is a single mother and in the Military. She is the nicest most laid back person you'll ever meet but you'd better believe she embodies this trope. Once while stationed off base in an extremely restrictive middle eastern country we had a problem with a stalker breaking into our house. Since we had no men in our household to back up the claim the police couldn't do anything for us. My mother promptly had a stun gun smuggled into the country and went toe to toe with the stalker the next time he tried to break into my bedroom window. The guy ran off and never bothered us again. Yeah, my mom is a [[ActionMom badass]]. * When I was in kindergarten, I had an old grumpy teacher who didn't like kids who didn't just sit down and shut up. Sitting down and shutting up were not two things I was capable of at the age of 5. For six months this teacher would put me down in front of the class and write notes to my mom telling her that I was a bad kid and that needed discipline. When I came home crying one day because my teacher told me my art project wasn't good, my mom decided enough was enough. She scheduled a parent/teacher conference and opened up a can of verbal whoop ass on my teacher. After that I was never harassed by that teacher again. She did something like this for me another time when I was in 7th grade and one of my teachers told my mom that she thought I was depressed because I was quite and kept to myself. My mom, who is a RN and was going to school for her Master's Degree in Nursing at this time calmly told my teacher "I know my daughter is not depressed, and she does not need to be on adderall, ritalin, anti-depressants or any other type of medication you want to give her. Are you a medical professional? Do you have a degree in medicine? Do you even know the long term affects of these drugs? Or do you just feel better about yourself when you put other people's children down? Unless you have some medical degree that I'm unaware of, do not try to diagnose or medicate my child". My teacher was left speechless. Thanks mom :) ** In defense of the teacher, they were just doing part of their job. If a teacher feels something could seriously be wrong with a child or they are showing warning signs of depression or anything like that they are supposed to report it to the parents. The teacher probably wasn't trying to put you down or be rude. She was probably trying to be safe rather than sorry. It's better to have a teacher tell a parent that something might be wrong and have nothing to be wrong than have child have something seriously wrong with them and the teacher not report it out of fear of upsetting the parent. * I'm normally a very passive person when it comes to most things. I'm normally willing to let people say whatever they want about me or treat me poorly for the sake of peace. I am not willing to let people treat my best friend badly, even if the people are her own family. When I found my best friend's family had thrown her out of the house

and refused to let her come back after she confessed that she was suicidal and wanted to seek professional help I drove three hours to deliver my verbal beat down to them in person. By the end they had agreed to let their daughter move back in if she wanted to and agreed to help her find professional help as well as look into family therapy. So far, my friend says they have been treating her better and the therapy is helping them with their issues. * While shopping with my mother at the mall, a strange man kept getting too close to me and eventually started trying to grope me. When my mom caught sight of he was trying to do she grabbed him grabbed him by the hair, pinned him against the wall, and told him that if he so much as glanced at me or any other female in the store while waiting for mall security to arrive she was going to castrate him with her metal nail file. * This troper once confessed her feelings to a guy who didn't feel the same way. A little disappointing for sure, but not the end of the world. Well, the guy tripped and fell, which the troper thought nothing of, since he always was a klutz. Fast forward to later that day; this troper comes home to find half-inked out on Mom's drafting table, the following: --> "May those that love us, love us. As for those that don't love us, may God turn their hearts. If He doesn't turn their hearts, [[ComedicSociopathy may He turn their ankles so that we may know them by their limping]]." -Old Irish Curse * Having gone through horrific bullying throughout highschool, I didn't think I qualified for the MamaBear title until the local school bullies decided to harass my youngest sister during my last year. Without even thinking of what I was doing, I was on my feet and down the bus in seconds, and got up in their faces while declaring if they ever so much as looked at my little sister again I would tear off their male gifts and make them eat them. Needless to say, they left her well enough alone after that. ** A second example is found under IfYouEverDoAnythingToHurtHer. Turns out my MamaBear tendencies really go full-stop when my baby sister is involved. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

ManHug * This troper's little brother had a gym teacher who took it further. After seeing my little brother hug one too many people enthusiastically, he took him aside and said, "Real Men don't hug. Real Men shake hands. Like this. One Two Three," where each number was a sharp shake of the hand and afterward, the hand was dropped like a hot potato. ** This troper is much the opposite. He repeats the phrase "REAL MEN HUG!" as mantra and, being taller than most of his friends, has a habit of grabbing them in brutal headlock-hug. Possibly picking up the

smaller ones as well. But it's all affectionate, non? *** What the crap dude, [[FutureBadass are you]] [[{{EPIC}} my]] [[FutureBadass future self?]] * This troper has no qualms with hugging his buddies. Nothing wrong with a good 'ole hug. * This is standard greeting between friends in Latin America, being people there more receptive to physical contact. ** Really? When this troper was down there, it was the norm to greet a friend (of either gender) with a kiss on the cheek. * Here's the formula I go by for a successful man hug: -->Step 1: Find a fellow man to hug. Stand as far apart as you normally do when talking. -->Step 2: Bending your elbow, place your hand in front of you, level with your chest. Have your man hug partner do the same. Clasp hands together. Do it with some force, enough to make noise. Noise is manly. -->Step 3: Lean in towards your man hug partner, and with your other hand, wrap around them and thump their far shoulder in a suitably manly manner. (Do not step into the hug; that's just weird.) -->Step 4: Hold for one to three seconds, no more. Separate. -->Step 5: Go do something manly together. Watch football, go to a bar, have a sword fight. ** Get those manly urges. Kill things, cook outdoors. ** This troper has the same thing without the hold. Hand clasp (preferably in the Manshake mould, in which you grasp by locking thumbs so you grip at the back of the hand rather than the palm), lean in, arm round, slap the shoulder, ''immediately'' separate. Remember, it's not gay if the balls don't touch! * this troper sees guys hugging each other at her high school all the time, close friends or not. * My brother and I do this all the time, even shouting out a quote from the Nickelodeon series ''DrakeAndJosh'': "HUG ME, BROTHA!" * Man Hugs were mandatory in my high school marching band. Hell we even did {{sleep cute}} as a tradition. * In high school this troper had a friend who liked to greet everybody with a hug, girls and guys. Whenever I rejected one of his hugs he'd always say "Come on, it's just one hug!" and I'd always respond "Fine...but that's the last time". ---Hey, it's the [[ManHug main article!]] *CLAP, THWAM* ---<<|TroperTales|>>

ManicPixieDreamGirl * This troper is living this trope right now. Military guy meets art school girl. Hopefully it ends up more GardenState and less [[FiveHundredDaysOfSummer (500) Days of Summer]]. But the kicker? Troper's name: Tom. Girl's name: Spring. Not Summer, but enough to

make me wonder... * [[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Tropers/Desertdragon This troper]]'s mother filled this trope to a T when she met his father. She was a wild city girl/petty thief working as a third-shift waitress while he was an uptight security guard who would go to her diner for coffee before the start of his shift. She moved in with him after their first night together, and over time taught him how to dance and made over his image (is it still "petty" theft if she's making off with Armani suits?). He in turn gave her grounding and stability. They're still together 30 years later and balanced out a bit, though she's still the crazy one by far. * This troper considers herself a warped, PerkyGoth reflection of the trope... she deems a day out where she isn't given ''one'' funny look to be a wasted trip, delights in messing with people's preconcieved notions and making their days a little weirder, and decided long ago (in the throes of a truly ''epic'' fit of self-pity she has no intention of ever repeating) that, if people were going to treat her like a freak no matter what, she might as well act like one and spare herself the trouble of pretending to be normal... then realized being a "freak" was more fun anyway. * This lesbian troper's ClosetKey was one. Subverted in that the girl turned out to be completely batshit bipolar and psycho. Still, in retrospect, it wasn't an entirely bad experience, and it wasn't really her fault she was so troubled. Aside from serving as the catalyst for my coming out story, I learned alot from that girl about life, taking risks, and how NOT to start a relationship. I wish her well and I hope she is okay now, wherever she is. ** same troper: It seems that I myself have been mistaken for a ManicPixieDreamGirl at least 3 times now. Yes, I am free-spirited, rebellious, and very [[GeniusDitz eccentric.]] But I'm also a serious student and I am very [[TheSnarkKnight cynical]] once you get to knnow me. Actualy, I really am starting to hate this trope because, partially thanks to it, people keep thinking that they have my whole personality figured out. They are wrong. I'm SO much more complicated than any archetype/plot device could ever be. * Much as she doesn't want to be a shallow plot device, [[{{Momonga}} this troper]] definitely has elements of this. Showing up to a dance wearing purple wings, walking around the zoo with a very realisticlooking dragon puppet on her shoulder, wading in random fountains, insisting on having d10s with her at all times, singing showtunes while wandering through the mall (although this one has a practical purpose - troper gets lost easily and sings so that her other party members can find her), stopping to copy-edit signs, insisting that seals love Mozart while rabbits prefer Puccini, deciding to speak in iambic pentameter for no logical reason - the {{Cloudcuckoolander}} part is undeniable. The eclectic style of dress favoured by many an MPDG can often be seen in this troper's wardrobe, especially vintage hats and sparkly socks. Actually rather introverted and awkward around people, but still willing to strike up conversations with people on the train and such, this troper also displays a tendency to make other people's lives quirkier, and occasionally (although she doesn't like

to admit it) thinks more about how others see her than how she views herself. So, perhaps a deconstruction in that some of this behaviour is due to insecurity? Also breaks the trope in that almost all of her Love Interests are at least somewhat eccentric themselves. * The girl [[{{Nomic}} this troper]] knew in highschool (the one he's mentioned in atleast 3 other troper tales, not to be confused with some of the other girls he's known) fit this trope rather well, save for the whole "shallow plot device/love interest" part. She was usually really cheerful, had a habit of saying strange things (like how she wished she owned a bb gun so that she could defend herself if she was [[EverythingsWorseWithBears attacked by bears]]), did some pretty crazy stuff (and would've probably done more often if we didn't usually talk her out of it) and encouraged others to do so too (one time she almost convinced us to skip our physics class and drive to another town because a new candy store had opened there and they were giving out free candy). Needless to say, this troper fell head over heels for her. * This troper is a ManicPixieDreamGirl to a T, but she's [[ExtremeDoormat ridiculously shy]] and [[DarkMagicalGirl completely terrified]] of [[ClingyJealousGirl attaching herself to a guy who doesn't want it]]. Being a ManicPixieDreamGirl without an angsty guy who needs a life-lift is kind of like being a wandering samurai, only lamer and with fewer katana battles. * Two cases. [[KillerClowns This troper]]'s sister is a ManicPixieDreamGirl. And LawfulGood. No, I don't know how. Thank the goddess for the Lawful half as well; means she's grounded enough where it counts to not end up dating [[JerkAss someone]] I'd [[KnightTemplarBigBrother have to shoot]]. Further, this otherwise ChaoticGood troper also had a [[NoodleIncident very, very bad experience with one of these]] in HighSchool... ChaoticStupid with healthy doses of [[WhatTheHellHero What The Hell Manic Pixie Dream Girl]]. * This troper has met a few, and played the part of Manic Pixie Dream Guy a few times. The most striking MPDG I've met was one who admitted she was crazy enough to get a crazy check. I tend to have a high threshold for weirdness More fun than a fistful of {{WeirdnessCoupon}}s, and I got to do many things I'd always wanted to, like sex on a train and methadone. But at the end of the train ride I realized it was probably better to leave it at memories. * This Troper got shanghai-ed into a relationship with one (essentially: she grabbed my arm and declared we were boyfriend/girlfriend. It was a weird day to say the least). She constantly drives me up the wall, but I'm stuck with her, given how awkward I tend to be around most people. Worse, most people say we have a good "left brain/right brain" dynamic (I'm organized, highstrung and disciplined, she's creative, free-spirited and gregarious) * This Troper knew someone like this in college. She turned out to be a Manic Depressive Pixie Dream Girl. And involved with someone else. * If there can be a [[HeterosexualLifePartners platonic version]] of this trope, [[GwenStacyWannabe my]] best friend is one. She's basically a younger version of Giselle from ''{{Enchanted}}'', albeit

not quite that naive. It contrasts oddly with my generally [[DeadpanSnarker snarky]] {{Kuudere}} nature. * A friend of this troper who was extremely similar to this trope was the one who, even during this troper's depression, got her to start wearing colors again and for two years was the only reason this troper went to school. Forever in her debt. * This troper is a male version to a T. He even had an angst-ridden, stoic boyfriend for a while, though they went their separate ways in the end. * This Tropers friend is one. She is the multicolour haired, hyper and crazy girl, who is with a boring guy a few years older than herself. * This troper remembers a couple with one Manic Pixie Dream Girl and one completely Stoic guy. This also doubles as this troper's Crowning Moment Of Heartwarming, because when this troper hangs around the Stoic no emotion is shown other than mild boredom. Then in walks Manic Pixie Dream Girl, and as she wraps her arms around him he breaks into the biggest, brightest smile this troper has ever seen. Aww. * This troper's cousin seems to be one. She's a tall social butterfly of an event planner who delights in video games and playing with her puppy, and has the attention span of a chipmunk. Two years ago, she married a DeadpanSnarker of a cop. * This troper is more or less one of these, even having the stoic guy in her life that she likes very much. This troper has not only gotten him to smile more and relax (well, that is, I have been given the credit, since he changed after spending weekends with me), but come quite close to dating him (He likes being the Stoic too much to actually HAVE a girlfriend, thus started to completely shun me. I'm back to being his MPDG though :3) * This troper, with her blue hair, obsession with singing showtunes, and constant attempts to cure her all-too-serious girlfriend's constant angst with cuddles and kisses- Well, I fit this trope to a T. * GenderFlipped in this troper's fanfics. In most of my stories... ** There is a female character with a mundane-if not terrible-life and personality, ** She, in some way, meets a TeenIdol, or at least a GenkiBoy. ** Her OverprotectiveDad does not approve. * Gah, that ''entire'' introductory blurb on the main page sums up [[@/OhNoes this troper's]] last relationship. She had the blue hair, the PerkyGoth-ness, the hyperactive high-on-life attitude, the playfulness, the penchant for petty theft... in short, not somebody I would usually go after, but I did, and we were really close. After we started dating, however, she soon realized that she couldn't take being... held down, I guess? So we split and remained friends. And now I'm actually pretty happy, a lot more so than I was before I met her, and I'm a ''lot'' less stuffy and serious, and rather than use my {{Snark}} as a weapon, I now use it more often than not to lighten

moods. So her goal was accomplished. * During my college years, I met a girl who fit this trope pretty well, although I didn't realize it at the time. In fact, it's only lately that I re-visited this trope and read it in detail. And then a lightbulb lit up. She was one of the most interesting people I've met so far in my life, and is certainly still one of my favorite people in the world. Smart, beautiful, stylish, clever, she wore a short hairstyle so very well. Think Monique from {{Sinfest}} meets Molly from {{Neuromancer}} with a dash of Nana Osaki from {{Nana}}. I guess you could call her a {{Perky Goth}} since she dresses a lot in dark colors, but I like to think of her as more of a punk, in terms of style. Loves science, loves technology, loves programming, an activist for great causes, thinks like a revolutionary. And in a lot of ways, I'm similar to her, at least in terms of intellect. However, the difference is that yes, I am more or less a {{Straight Man}} and/or a {{Stoic}}. I tend to live my life seriously and pessimistically. Admittedly, I'm a loner and don't know the most about different personalities and how different people live their lives, but it puzzles me how we both think about such serious issues in the world and how she's a lot more involved with them than I am..and yet, she's still somehow so perky. So fairy-like.. I guess that's one of the reasons why I'm so drawn to her. ** She really fascinates me a lot and probably inspires me somewhat too. I could probably call her my current {{Muse}} too. ---Go back to ManicPixieDreamGirl - she's been busy painting your cubicle neon orange. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

ManInABikini * This troper's father recieved a {{Borat}}-style mankini as a gag gift. She was [[{{Understatement}} less]] [[{{Squick}} than]] [[BrainBleach impressed]] when she saw photos of him wearing it in photos of his recent vacation. * A guy in Upper Sixth at this troper's school wore a Borat-style mankini on Muck-Up Day. This troper's eyes have never been quite the same since.

ManInAKilt Nothing says studly like a man in a skirt *thud* ''kilt''. ---* This troper saw a man in a kilt at several fraternity formal occasions. * [[Tropers/{{Smerf}} This]] troper has worn a wool kilt in everything from 0 degrees and snowy to 105 degrees and #$&%ing hot. Go on, ask what I wear under it. ** What do you wear under it?

*** I don't answer that question. If you really want to know... you can find out for yourself. **** Pure silk panties? **** Chain mail banana hammock. (No, not really) Alternative answers include: lipstick, socks and shoes and "how warm are your hands?" * [[{{Skadi}} This troper]] was helping get salads out at a gala when she heard the chefs talking about a guest who, when required to dress formally, always wore a kilt. Later, when she was mopping, she saw said guest and lol'd hard. * ThisTroper's fourth grade (male, very Scottish) teacher wore them to classes almost everyday. * In a bit of a subversion, this troper was once in a Flogging Molly mosh pit, and there was one dude in a green skirt with a funny green umbrella. And no, it was not a kilt. * Every man I've ever seen in a kilt is rather portly. I need to meet more studly, kilt-wearing boys. ** [[Tropers/{{Smerf}} Ahem...]] (Woohoo, self-promotion!) *** Pics or it isn't true. *** Click the link to my page then. Why yes, that is me soaking wet and dancing in a kilt. * This Troper's Father has a kilt, But I've never seen him wear it. * [[{{Brontozaurus}} This troper]] has worn a kilt several times, notably to a school formal. * This troper has quite a fondness for kilts, both on men and for her own gender play. The only downside is the accusation of having an Electra complex because her father teaches Scottish country dancing. * Oh, lord. My dad has something called a "utilikilt", which has a utility belt built into it for hammers and things. He often wears it shirtless while working in the yard. It does not help that all my friend think that he's really hot. Ew. ** Hey, if you've got it, flaunt it. * [[MalachiteDragon This Troper]] doesn't own a kilt, but his girlfriend wishes he did and he's been considering getting one. She probably just wants him to get one so she can take advantage of the... "easy access" it affords when things get [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean steamy.]] ** This troper's ex had one for that reason and for randomness. * This troper once met a Scottish guy who married in a kilt. ** Aye, 'tis traditional. * [[DorianBlack This troper]] has a friend who recently started competing in Highland games. This troper has since gained a great appreciation for the combination of kilts and hot guys with nice legs. (Cue several DistractedByTheSexy moments at the last event, caused by both competitors and spectators - it's a wonder I didn't hurt myself.) * This troper is not scottish or kilt-ed by any means, but roleplays a ManInAKilt online. An immortal, telekinetic very scottish ''catboy'' in a kilt, to be precise. (Who also carries a very large claymore and rides a Ducati. MarySue? Quite possibly, but he's fun to write and people like him.) * [[{{Enero25}} This troper]] has two Utilikilt and one formal kilt-he regularly wears the Utilikilt to school and church and the formal kilt to parties and special events. He's been told that he "has the legs

for it," whatever that means. * Although this troper hasn't seen them personally, our school actually has 3 or 4 boys who play bagpipes after school on wednesdays apparantly while wearing a kilt ** [[LiteralMinded Just one? That doesn't sound very comfortable.]] * This troper was wearing his Campbell of Argyll tartan while playing guitar in an Irish session and was told afterwards by certain ladies sitting across from him (with smiles on their faces) that men don't know how to sit in skirts. ** This troper, based on his fathers 50s through 60s era elementary school photos, would wager an assumption that it involves closing the legs and/or placing the wearers hands in their lap to inconspicuously press down the front of the skirt, thus blocking view of the 'contents' of the skirt. * This troper went to a highland festival in North Carolina. Most of the men there were wearing kilts. * [[FuzzyBoots ThisTroper]] regularly challenges dress codes at the places that he works by wearing a kilt in after checking that it's technically allowed (which it is in most places). He also became mildly infamous as "that guy with long hair and a kilt" at his church. He used to cantor with one on at his old church, but has not gotten around to doing so at the current one. * [[LightHawk ThisTroper]] was a highland dancer for most of his teens, so he wore a full formal outfit many times (kilt, Prince Charlie tail coat, tartan socks, etc). I've been told that I wear a kilt quite well and that it looks good on me. I now own my own kilt and last wore it as best man to a friend's wedding (the groom was also kilted). * After spending five years in Scotland, [[{{Michael}} This Troper]] has concluded that kilts are for cold weather, since you almost never see them outside of the christmas - hogmanay (Jan 2) period. * This troper was in a wind band that wore kilts as a uniform. Band festivals are about the only time this troper has gotten any female attention. * In a writers' program in NYC, [[{{Latia}} This Troper]] and her friends were sitting on the floor of a Barnes and Noble, reading magazines and minding our own business...when a ManInAKilt walked by. According to my friends, [[{{BrainBleach}} when he bent to pick something up...yeah.]] To this day, I still wonder if the guy was [[{{InnocentFanserviceGirl}} incredibly oblivious]] or some creepo who [[{{PublicExposure}} decided to take advantage of several tennage girls who were at the right vantage point.]] Either way, it's halfway horrifying and halfway hilarious. * For a while, [[{{Pita}} I]] had an EvilCounterpart (although, to be honest, he may have been the good one. Blond, loyal friends, and being able to turn my friends into his... I guess he was the good one. Damn it) who would wear kilts. ** [[BlondGuysAreEvil Blond]]? [[VillainWithGoodPublicity Popular]]? C'mon, man, are you [[GenreBlind blind]]?! He's obviously up to something. Don't try to tell anyone though, because [[CassandraTruth no one will believe you]] until it's too late. Especially if you live in a [[LovecraftCountry quite New England town]].

* [[Contributors/{{Muse}} This Troper]]'s father, uncle and friend of the family wear kilts. My dad officiated my uncle's wedding and wore one, as did the groom. The friend of the family is a physics professor and gets a kick out of wearing it to teach his classes. * Rare inversion: One year at DragonCon, I ran into a guy wearing a complicated green skirt. I said, "Nice kilt!" He got angry and insisted that it was a skirt, not a kilt, because he was a crossdresser and not a Scotsman. * This Troper once knew a guy in highschool who wore a kilt on International Day. He was not especially attractive, and lacked Sean Connery's fine legs, but he managed to pull off the look with great aplomb. * This Troper knew a guy in high school who shoveled snow in a kilt, and from his comments afterwards it sounds like he was rocking the traditional undergarments. * If it's not a kilt, it's a skirt. It's okay, real men can wear skirts, just like real women can wear trousers. But you can't wear undies under it, because then they're panties and you're a big fucking girl. * [[{{Carth}} This Troper]] witnessed a man in a kilt at, strangely enough, Physics Day at Hershey Park. He was indeed rocking the look, though I'm not so sure it was Scottish pride so much as a fashion choice. One wonders whether he went on any rides. * This Troper kicked around the idea of getting a Utilikilt for several years. After seeing a couple of guys at an irish pub wearing them and then finding out how much the damn things cost, he went allin and decided to make an old-school greatkilt out of a sheet of flannel. * [[{{Kathadrion}} This Troper]]'s mother is very... [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean fond]] of men wearing kilts. She has decided that if she and my stepdad ever get married, he has to wear a kilt at the wedding. Once, we stayed at a hotel, and while we were there, some sort of... kilt convention took place. My mom was ''in heaven!'' ** Oh, and one time, I saw this guy wearing a kilt at a train station. But when I came closer to him, I noticed it was just a tartan blanket he had wrapped around himself and fasted with safety pins. * This troper has a friend from Taiwan who likes wearing kilts. Hey, sure, why not. * This troper tend to give his male charcters a kilt-like armor or cloth. This blends suprisingly well with long hair. On the other hand, I also like giving women short hair and pants. * This troper went with their mother to the Renaissance Fair, and there were ''tons'' of men in kilts, even a few ''dogs''. So we were passing by a man in a kilt who was standing on a low table, and he said hello to us. My mother said that if he was any higher everybody would be able to see up his [[DidNotDoTheResearch skirt]]. He said "[[CrowningMomentOfFunny A skirt's not a skirt if you're]] [[VaporWear not wearing anything under it!"]] Later I corrected my mother and said it was a kilt. She said she didn't care and would still call it a skirt. All this troper can say is she's quite lucky the guy we encountered was [[NoTrueScotsman American]]. * This happened every once in a while in my high school, mainly

because we were the Fighting Scots. * This troper went through a time when he would spend the summers (Hot summers, might I add.) in his room naked. My parents decided I would wear a kilt with snaps on it. Unfortunately, it was really short, and I'd just started puberty. Yeah, I was peeking out from underneath it real quick. * This troper legitimately made a manskirt out of a pair of old cargo pants, just for fun. Honestly, the manskirt looked enough like the cargo pants it was made from and so didn't get many odd looks. * This troper is Scottish and attended his high school leavers ball (local version of senior prom) in a full kilt along with every other male in attendance. The kilt was a rental so I decided against the "True Scotsman" approach out of courtesy to the next guy. * As [[@/AcrossTheStars this troper]] attended a high school known as the Fighting Irish, our regular football-game Uilleann piper wore the Irish variant. Also, said troper goes positively ''mad'' for a man in a kilt. Take my word for it that this is not why she is choosing to finish her bachelor's degree in Scotland - it's just a ''very'' nice perk. (It takes more than a few hot guys to induce me to uproot my entire life.) That said, she has spent most of her life dreaming of marrying a Scot and owns a (female) kilt of her own (and will lose enough weight to fit in it again, dammit!) * This troper's wife threatened to make him wear a utilikilt for years, and when he eventually tried one on, fell in love with it. It didn't really get weird until his mother-in-law told him that he looked really nice in it. * This troper knew a boy in high school who could play the bagpipes, and was occasionally requested to play at school functions. Whenever he did, he wore a kilt. * This Tropper is Half Scottish and so i often wear kilts to Scottish heritage fests now imagine a 15 year old African/Scottish kid in a kilt playing bagpipes you'll laugh but i do that every other year. * The company Utilikilts is based out of Seattle, and it's not uncommon to see men in them, even when it's cold and wet. Then again, they are built to be very durable and have plenty of pockets, so they're probably more practical than your average pair of shorts. * This troper does not own one yet, however there's no doubt he will soon (preferably a {{Zipperiffic}} one). Because A.) he lives in Seattle; (as mentioned above) HQ of Utilikilts, B.) He has a random fascination with Scotland, and C.) he just finds them [[RuleOfCool totally cool]]. If it speaks anything of this Troper's fashion sense, he's all over [[TooManyBelts Too Many Belts]], wearing way to many necklaces like Madonna circa 1984, [[PostApunkalypticArmor Post Apunkalyptic Armor]], [[GadgetWatches Gadget Watches]], and [[GogglesDoNothing Goggles Do Nothing]]. He plans to wear it with a [[WaistcoatOfStyle Waistcoat Of Style]] [[RummageSaleReject and an]] [[RussianFashion Ushanka]]. * This troper witnessed several drunken female soldiers trying to lift the skirt of a kilt-wearing male soldier. He was able to fend them off. * Men's japanese ''hakama'' come in two varieties: a pair of unusually baggy pants that look like a skirt (the kind used in martial arts) and

an actual skirt. Both kinds look the same. Since [[{{RuleOfCool}} they look cool in any case]], this male troper briefly considered getting either kind for a {{Samurai}}-inspired [[{{MoeAnthropomorphism}} gijinka]] [[{{PokemonBlackAndWhite}} Zekrom]] cosplay (that would have also been worn with [[{{DudeLooksLikeALady}} a long wig and makeup]]), but the entire cosplay was scrapped before this came to fruition. (On a related note, there's a China-produced men's "samurai" outfit commonly available, and its "hakama" is basically just a women's skirt with an elastic waistband.) * This troper once saw an elderly gentleman in a kilt in the audience of the Bolshoi Theatre in Moscow. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

ManInWhite * [[{{Falconfly}} this troper]] likes to wear white jackets most of the time, specially post-[[MagicTheGathering MGT colour testing]] turned out White. [[LightIsNotGood Just to subvert the stereotype white is reserved for nice guys]]. * [[RosesSpindle This troper]] can't remember ever seeing one of her former professors, a charming, quirky older gentleman, in anything other than a white suit with an incredibly colorful tie. Considering this university is right smack in the middle of Georgia, he seems to have the right idea.

ManipulativeBastard * [[{{neoYTPism}} This troper]] is convinced that many of his bullies were this, from the girl in late elementary and early middle school who helped spread rumours about me, to the guy who told a bunch of younger kids that ''I'' was the bully just to make them hate me, to a group of people who took stuff from the substitute teacher's purse and threw it on my desk to make it look like I did it, if not the whole classroom since none of them actually told said teacher I didn't. That's just in terms of what has happened to me, as there's plenty of other stories of rather manipulative bullies, as you could find on other pages in this site, (such as TroperTales/TheUnfairSex, for example) [[YouDoNotWantToKnow IF you want to]]... * Edgy here. Apparently this story was too bastardly for TroperTales/BatmanGambit and Troper/OMalley so I am going to try it out here. ** Once after high school, a girl I was dating, Robin, dumped me for a 15 year old. Now, I was 18 at the time and said girl was 17. So yeah, you can imagine this destroyed my self-confidence for a while. So what do I do? I antagonize the 15 year old by refering to him as a "kid" constantly because I knew he had a temper. This made the kid hate him very much. My reputation around campus, even after I left, was that I was a very nice Christian boy with a unique sense of humor and who was nice to everyone. Even her ex-boyfriend, whom I caused them to break up, liked me. I told my best female friends who were still in high

school everything. I knew my friends would spread this around the rumor mill, painting Robin as a heartless bitch. My final scheme was at a home game where I met up with my female friends and a previous ex-girlfriend. They made a point of all being around me in from of Robin and her kid boyfriend. Also, I did this while wearing a gift from Robin, a winter cap. Which the kid made fun of me for. After all, the kid hated me. Robin took offense to this and caused arguments between the two. They soon broke up. So in the end, Robin was alienated by her peers and single again. This was one of my first great moments of revenge and it felt good. * This [[Troper/ZenoTheGreat troper]] plays this trope subconsciously only [[WhatHaveIDone realizing what he's done after it happens...]] ** Go on... * Got a gambit going right now. The results will be in my favor no matter what. ** All goes according to plan. * Sadly, my boyfriend is turning into this. In recent months he has developed this complex where he can't share me. He even out right stated "I don't like sharing you". He makes me feel guilty for not spending all of my free time with him, and does not let me go out with friends without him(like he will invite himself if I tell him where I am. He sees no problem with this, and it gets on me and my friends nerves) I try to talk to him about giving me a little space and he tells me I'm being selfish. It's exhausting to deal with on a daily basis... ** You shouldn't have to deal with that. If he can't even trust you to your friends then there is something wrong with him. You should leave him before things get worse. He sounds like he has the beginnings of an abusive person.

ManipulativeEditing * Some sociology students got a bunch of people for a project to show how easy it is to manipulatively edit those "How smart are people?" videos. So they edited it to make the engineering and architecture students look like a bunch of complete nimrods (With their consent, since plenty of them had the ideas, too). So what they did was feed the non-engineers the answers off-camera, had many of them intentionally answer wrong or say "I don't know", "Randomly" selected students from a crowd (by that I mean they planted them in the crowd and walked over to them), showed engineers having trouble with puzzles compared to the other majors when they were shown the puzzle ahead of time or had given it to them, showed an art major unscrambling a Rubik's Cube way faster than an engineer solving it. (Know what they did? Said art major was a huge Rubik's Cube guy but in order to "Solve" it fast, they reversed the footage of him scrambling it up, and his engineer friend intentionally took his time solving it.) The first video shows the manipulatively edited thing that would make anyone think engineers and architects are TooDumbToLive, but the other video shows how they did it and what parts were casually omitted. * This troper knows people who manipulatively hear/read everything So far I think someone's superpower is to take ''anything'' that is

meant as a compliment or agreement and turn it into a personal attack. ** HairTriggerTemper??? * Now-infamous family story- during a gas shortage, a news crew was set up at a gas station. A reporter came over to my grandmother's car, where she was waiting her turn in line. The reporter asked multiple leading questions about how hard it was for her having rationing on gas, what she planned on doing if the shortage went on much longer, and so on, and she answered all of them very calmly, along the lines of, "Well, if it's what we need to do, then I don't consider it too much of a problem." Finally, the reporter asked what she was doing at the gas station, and she looked at him as if he was crazy and answered, "We need gas!" Guess which of her responses showed up on the evening news? * This Troper is an avid fanfic writer but suffers from frequent Writers Block, so when a frequent reviewer of one particular story offered to Beta test for it, I was more than willing, I sent him a chapter for him to look over and possibly spice up a few things, when he sent it back, I was horrified, the entire second half of the chapter had been completely changed, within the span of about 3000 words he had introduced 5 [[MarySue OC's]] (one of whose first line was "Oh hi, we're here to help") during a fight scene with the BigBad (Not the final battle but a fight to show off the heroes new powers), ''[[KilledOffForReal Killed off]]'' one of my main characters who had made his first appeared only '''1''' chapter ago yet had been [[{{Foreshadowing}} talked about by the hero since the beginning]], and who I made obvious from the start, was the Hero's BadAss [[TheRival Rival]]. And finally, he reduced my main character to a worthless cripple as the BigBad literally DroppedABridgeOnHim, Paralysing him from the waist down. I decided to go with my original version instead of the crap he had sent me...[[{{Understatement}} he wasn't happy]]. ** He wasn't happy!? Well then he should write his own fanfic!

ManlyTears * [[Tropers/SalFishFin This Troper]] recently went to see a play about the story of Joseph from TheBible (The coat of many colors Joseph, not Mary's Husband Joseph). Two scenes in particular had him crying: Joseph's reunion with and forgiveness of his brothers (who threw him in a pit and sold him to slavery, due to him being Isaac's favorite son). The second was Joseph's reunion with his father Isaac, who was told that Joseph, his favorite son, had been eaten by wild animals, on a mission to deliver some stuff to his brothers out in the field. To make matters worse, the story [[PragmaticAdaptation embellished]] on that a bit: Isaac had argued with Joseph that morning, and NeverGotToSayGoodbye. What really got this troper going was Isaac, who walked with a limp, dropping his staff and literally running toward Joseph to hug him. Much Manly Tears were shed. ** Who, exactly, wrote the script for this? Because Joseph was ''Jacob's'' son. * I happen to be female, but those were some seriously manly tears shed after episode 10 of [[AngelBeats Angel Beats]] considering I

happen to be dead on the inside. * [[Tropers/TehNubkilr This Troper]] cried his eyes out after watching a school play, as well as the ending to AhMyGoddess The Movie. * This should've been your reaction when you heard Frank Frazetta had died. ** ''I'' cried so many ManlyTears on that day, I was able to freeze them all with liquid nitrogen and fashion a pile of skulls and a leg wench out of them! (Oh, come on, like that's any less plausible than half the Troper Tales examples.) * This (female) troper tends to be [[TheStoic rather stoic]], but has occasionally been known to cry. When she does, it's of the silent variety, as she dislikes drawing attention to herself under normal circumstances but ''especially'' when showing "weakness". She will not speak unless she knows her voice won't crack, and asking her what's wrong is as likely to get a glare as an answer. ** Hello, doppelganger. Nice to meet you. * When I was a kid, I used to be a major crybaby, and was heavily mocked for it. The result is that nowadays, I rarely ever cry, and when I do, my expression remains pretty much straight and stoic. No quivering lips or trembling voice either. The only way you would know I'm crying is by seeing the tears flowing. Oddly enough, more than a few people (even my otherwise JerkAss father) have complimented me on this. ** Shit, did I write this? Seriously this sounds exactly like me. *** You two must be [[{{Tropers/Ryumaru}} me]] through [[TimeyWimeyBall time shenanigans]] or some kind of alternate universe thingy. On topic, [[TwoWordsObviousTrope two words:]] [[spoiler: [[TengenToppaGurrenLagann Kamina's death.]]]] Three more: [[spoiler: [[TengenToppaGurrenLagann Same series' finale.]]]] * During his school's September 11th ceremony last year, This Troper (CCharmanderK) silently shed manly tears as the ROTC officers slowly folded a United States flag, with a woman narrating over the P.A. system how each fold represents a different aspect of the tragedy, such as the loved ones lost, the Twin Towers themselves, and the families of those who were lost in the incident. * Averted hard with this troper, I haven't cried since my grandfather died. that was early 2001. I suppose the mortality logic bomb dropped and I've just never had circumstances that caused them. Wish I could though. * My high scool Rememberance Day service. Every Nov. 11, fighting back tears as a WarIsHell song played. * During a particularly epic guitar solo, I came very close to shedding a several manly tears. * When our marching band was the only one to get a [[TheBGrade 2]] at the marching band state competition and everybody else got a 1, ''everybody'' in the band, from the [[NervesOfSteel normally tough percussionists]] and the [[TheBigGuy husky low brass players]] to the normally [[{{Keet}} goofy]] and [[GenkiGirl hyperactive]] people just spent the next ten minutes crying. * My father admitted that he cried after Bobby Kennedy was assassinated. He cried at his mother's funeral (which really shook me up, as I was only 13 at the time and had never seen him like that),

and nearly broke down at my sister's funeral as well. * Last year, my minister and his wife had a baby girl delivered at 6 months. Several months later, with her still in the hospital, as he got up to give the sermon, he instead started crying, to the point where he had to ask the choir to sing to give him the time to get himself together. * I've only ever seen my generally stoic father cry once: after fighting a disease for almost a decade (a disease which most people recover from after a few years), my mother died. It was unsettling, but completely understandable. The rest of us weren't doing any better. * This female Troper shed some Manly Tears today after learning that the last known WWI vet in the United States, has died. Godspeed, sir. ** The above troper just sent me into that beyond-tears shock. * There are only a few things that can make this troper cry, the prime one being the death of close family members and friends; that includes family of friends or really anyone I have the least bit of emotional investment in. After they go, you're never really the same again. I also have some WarriorPoet tendencies, so I tend to cope with it by eulogizing the deceased in verse. * A '''FOOTBALL PLAYER''' started crying in this tropette's history class when we were watching PearlHarbor and Evelyn said she didn't love Rafe anymore. * My dog had puppies. Unfortunately one had a birth defect and was dying. Cue nearly an hour waiting outside the vet's office with the pup wrapped in a blanket bleeding slightly from the mouth and mewling. I was then told there was nothing that could be done and it had to be put down. Closest I've been to actually crying in near enough a decade. ---Heh. Crybaby. -->* sound of punch landing* * You do '''not''' mock the ManlyTears.

ManOfAThousandVoices * This might be a bit unfair, but [[MmmKay this troper]] sees herself as a (Wo)ManOfAThousandVoices, from her spot-on impersonation of Tickle-Me-Elmo, to her [[NoCelebritiesWereHarmed Edward G. Robinson accent]] (Yah, ''see?'' Yah.), and even her {{Fake Brit}}ishness. * [[{{Pita}} I]] am generally a one-voice person, but every now and then I can mimic someone perfectly, causing everyone around me to get panicked for a second. It's not exactly a thousand voices, but it's definitely a lot. I can mimic all of my grandparents perfectly, most of my teachers, a few students in my class, and my best friend, along with a few celebrities. I'm also working on different accents. My FakeBrit is okay, my FakeAmerican is excellent, and my Fake Australian is passable if I don't talk for too long. My Fake Scottish is brilliant, however. * I consider myself a master of imitating voices of cartoon characters, I used to be able to do a spot on impression of Ralph Wiggum but since I hit puberty I can't do it anymore.

* Played horrifyingly straight by yours truely (Kulture): I can voice many characters, but most diametrically opposed are Herbert the pervert (perfected) and Hellsing's Alucard (still working on that one, but nearly there.) * Everybody is amazed at how capable [[SharmHedgehog I]] am at mimicking ''{{Transformers}}'', particularly Starscream and Frenzy. * This troper is a girl, but can voice most male characters with ease, as long as their voices aren't ''too'' low ([[{{Bleach}} Komamura and Kenpachi]] are particularily difficult, while Aizen is comparatively easy). She can also voice higher-voiced characters with little effort. Singing as any character, however, is out of the question. * I can do a variety of voices such as Wolverine,Herbert and Cleveland from ''FamilyGuy'',[[TheDarkKnight Heath Ledger]] {{Joker}}(working on my MarkHamill Joker voice),Quincy Sharp from ''BatmanArkhamAsylum'',{{Spider-Man}} and {{Batman}}. * Sadly, puberty wreaked havoc on my vocal cords, but according to other people I still fit the trope. I have been described as (and I quote) "the man with [=LittleKuriboh=]'s voice." Some acquaintances are taking me to an anime convention for the first time, just in part to make fangirls squee at my Bakura and Marik... * This Tropette has very large vocal cords that make me possible to impersonate many different voices, even male ones. Most notable ones on my list are [[BatmanTheAnimatedSeries Harley Quinn]], both [[WhoFramedRogerRabbit Jessica and Roger Rabbit]] and [[{{Shrek}} Princess Fiona]], since I can both sing and talk while doing those impressions. * This Troper here has a great vocal range. So great that a friend of his says that his version of Generation 1 Scrapper sounds a lot like Michael Bell. I can also do a decent Starscream, Scavenger and Waspinator, as well as numerous accents (Australian being his favorite) and pitches. The only weakness is that whenever a character is screaming, it always ends up rather higher in tone. * This troper has a pretty good selection of imitations, those being [[SuperMarioBros Mario, Yoshi, Luigi, Wario, Waluigi,]] [[TheSimpsons Apu]] and [[PiratesOfTheCaribbean Captain Jack Sparrow]]. And no, he's not looking into the vocal business, he can't even sing. * This troper subverts it as whenever he hears the replayed version, he always hears [[EddsWorld Edd from 2004-early 2005.]] * [[Tropers/FarisV This Troper]] knows a fandubber and voice actor who certainly qualifies. Behold, tropers, [[http://www.youtube.com/user/christiansekhanan Christian Sekhanan]]. Seriously, LOOK at all the voices this guy has done. Even a cursory glance at the Fandubs and Fundubs he has done will give you a hint to his range. And This Troper would also like to say she qualifies as well, having been officially cast to fandub voices from [[FinalFantasyVII Aerith and Lucrecia]] to [[DissidiaFinalFantasy Cloud of Darkness]] to [[BeautyandtheBeast Belle]], and even [[TalesofSymphonia Mithos]]. [[YourMilageMayVary YMMV]], of course, but she can be heard in one of the fundubs done by Christian Sekhanan, should you care to take a look. And as for singing, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKH3i-_9dKs well]], [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pR4nj5yDrbw look]].

* [[Tropers/LimeTH This Troper]] has a pretty nice range. I don't want to toot my own horn, but I can do near perfect impressions of [[HomestarRunner Strong Bad]], ScoobyDoo, [[{{Pokemon}} Meowth]], [[LooneyTunes Marvin the Martian]] and [[PhineasAndFerb Dr. Doofenshmirtz]], and some pretty decent impressions of several other characters. ---[[ManOfAThousandVoices Return.]] ----

MarijuanaIsLSD * This troper, while listening to a news report on "bath salts," heard a reporter compare them to "crack and ecstasy." The psychotic effects listed in the report seemed more similar to crack and METHAMPHETAMINE. Granted, ecstasy pills sometimes are adulterated with methamphetamine, but... NoJustNo. * This troper was smoking weed with some friends once (as he's wont to do). There was a guy with us that this troper did not really know, who alleged that it was only his second time smoking, and that he hadn't felt anything on his first time (which is common). He also told us that he'd been told pot could make you hallucinate. Face-palming ensued. After some shooting the shit, smoking ensued. Sure enough, after a few minutes, Newbie started mumbling about "bugs on the walls". (Note: He was sitting opposite the three of us, us on a couch and him on a chair, so we couldn't see what he saw.) This went on for a while, with us telling him to shut up and just enjoy the experience, until he convinced us to look. (Warning: possible Nightmare Fuel ahead.) [[spoiler: Sure enough, there WERE bugs on the walls. Coming out of a hole in the ceiling, in fact. Roaches, centipedes, and big roiling waves of ants. Cue screaming, shouting, running out of the room and Newbie telling us "I TOLD YOU!".]] Suffice to say, we never smoked weed in that house again - even the ''exterminator'' was freaked out. * This troper... tropette? Do we have gender specific terms for ourselves here? Well, this'n is stoned right now, and yeah, things do go a little "wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey" when you're stoned. So, there is a small element of Truth in Television here, it's just that the reality of pot-head time-suck is nowhere near the legend this trope has become.

MarriedToTheJob * [[DarkMan This troper]] does this, which is why his email client has a repeating calendar event to get off the computer. * [[Tropers/CaptainPlanette This troper's]] parents. Both of them at one point have been masters of this trope. My mother used to work out of state, so I rarely saw her (and even now, she sometimes works out of the country.) My dad, on the other hand, leaves for work around the time I leave for school and comes home at 11pm if we're ''lucky.'' He also works on weekends and generally I rarely see him. ** This is actually worryingly common in my school as well. It's a

private school and all the parents are highly successful businesspeople or are in the entertainment industry...which results in most students either growing up alone or with a nanny, or even living in a separate country from their parents altogether, with only a monthly fund and a phone call every now and then from the parents. * [[@/{{endlessness}} This troper]] occasionally has done this with his research, to the point that he now has a policy to close his email client, [=LaTeX=] editor and SSH sessions after midnight. ---Stop screwing around and go back to MarriedToTheJob! There's still work to be done!

MarshmallowHell * When [[ThisTroper this troper's]] female friend became upset, she would grab whatever was closest and hug it as tightly as she could. When she was nervous over one of her exams, she happened to grab one of her shorter friends and cause this. When we noticed he was having trouble breathing, we had to ''pry'' him out of her hands. * {{This troper}} gives MarshmallowHell to male friends when playing variations of the nervous game. And whenever her little sisters are upset (they're only chest height) they get pulled close and told to rest "upon my booobies." They start giggling uncontrollably and oblige. Actually, a whole joke with this troper's friends is that whenever one of the girls is upset, the one with the biggest bosom comforts them. ** Can I be your friend? * Unintentional, but hilarious when [[ThisTroper this troper's]] girlfriend decided to run over and hug him just as he decided to tie his shoes. Look up and * pow* marshmallow sandwich! * {{This troper}} got it twice in five minutes from the same girl. First was a just because hug when I was seated (meaning she was standing and I was sitting so that my head would be more or less chest level) she pulled back a few seconds later when she realized what was happening. Second, I did something for her and she hugged me (still seated) out of appreciation. A few seconds later she pulled back and said, "Dammit! I need to stop doing that." ** Sad story: she did stop. *** SAD? * [[ThisTroper This troper's]], ahem, well-endowed female friend often uses this technique to incapacitate her years-younger and much shorter hyperactive brothers. It somehow manages to escape being at all creepy or sexual. Also, very effective. ** This is a good way to calm a crying baby. (no, not suffocating them!) It reminds them of their mom and it calms them down. [[ThisTroper This tropette]] babysits and had a baby scream for two hours before finally trying this out of desperation... It worked. So just a tip. Really.) ** Lucky kids. {{This troper}} has experienced a subversion from a well-endowed lady friend who is much shorter than him - but whose firm D-cups line up perfectly with his solar plexus, usually resulting in

''knocking the wind out of him'' with a [[TheGlomp glomp]]. She will never need to perform the Heimlich maneuver from behind. * Also called the "Wench Clench" at Renaissance Faires. ** Man, rennies can be creepy. But in a humorous version, witnessed by {{this troper}} at the faire where he works, a 5'11'' singer sang an improvised verse of the bawdy classic "The Ball of Kennemuir" to the 5'2" Alan-a-Dale... --->''Alan-a-Dale came to the ball\\ The man can dance all right\\ He's got a lovely singing voice\\ * clench* \\ And just the perfect height!'' * Umm, {{this troper}} was in a play recently where the director decided to have a double-D senior shove a sophomore boy's face into her chest every single time they did this certain scene resulting in many distracting giggles from the wings which then pissed off the director... Oh, and did I mention the two kids were playing mother and son! * [[ThisTroper This tropette]] did this on accident when trying to shove her friends door open and ended up falling in right on top of her older brother giving him a face full of boob. He would have been happier if I hadn't accidently kneed him in the [[GroinAttack groin]] at the same time.... * Female orthodontia assistants. Not quite the same (as that would require obstructing the mouth, preventing the job from being done), but they tend to get a bit... close. ** There's a nurse who takes blood at the doctor's office I go to. She's a tiny woman, about mid-50s (I'm 25 BTW), but is reasonably well endowed and wears a low-cut shirt most of the time. When she's taking my blood, there's physically nowhere I can look without seeing cleavage. After about the fifth time that happened, I finally remarked, "nice butterfly." She just laughed. ** Comedian and ventriloquist Jeff Dunham has a routine on this very topic. ** I happened to notice that all of the assistants at my orthodontist's office tend to be attractive and blonde. Weird thing is, the orthodontist himself is gay. ** I have this happen at my dentist's office all the time. Usually I get one "pillow" smooched into the side of my face by one of the female assistants. It's also funny that they always compliment me on my nice teeth every time I go in there. ** Back when I had teeth-braces, my orthodintist happened to be female with two female assistants. That chair was heaven. * {{This troper}} has had a very well-endowed friend do this to him once, and he passed out as a result. * {{This troper}} has multiple well-endowed friends to whom he essentially does the reverse. Shoves his face into their bosoms. Fortunately for [[ThisTroper this troper's]] nether-regions, everyone knows he's a joker, and he doesn't get ''too'' many GroinAttacks out of it. ** {{This troper}} has been blessed with a well-endowed partner, who will either deliver the hug herself or enjoy me resting on her chest,

calling her "cozy" or "the best pillow ever." *** Ditto for [[MalachiteDragon This Troper]] and his girl! She actually enjoys it very much when I use her D's for pillows, and when I'm feeling stressed she will enforce MarshmallowHell. Stress? What stress? *** Same here. [[ThisTroper This Troper's]] wife enjoys giving him [[DragonQuest Puff-Puff]]. *** Ditto here too. There just isn't a stress that can't be solved with...marshmallows. ** Oh you lucky bastards. * {{This troper}} tends to give that hug frequently. I'm the only girl in my group, and three of the boys have yet to hit their growth-spurt. I'm pretty well-endowed, and as I'm also quite a hugger they usually end up with a faceful of boob. The problem is that I'm quite skinny and have really bad balance, so we usually fall over. I've also had taller male friends express jelousy as they never get these hugs, unless they're sitting down. * {{This troper}} makes a point to visit a certain hair cut place here in town for this very reason. One girl always leans in, and I get the Puni Puni Poemy treatment. * If Natalie Bailey is reading this, this is her fair warning that attempting to smother those shorter than herself is considered cheating in Red Rover. * Subverted in {{real life}}... When [[this troper]] got a bad day, he talked to a well endowed friend about this. She hugged him, but, as his head was being more and more near to ... comfort, she blocked his head with her hand and made it lean back, denying him any Marshmellow Hell... This made {{this troper}} even sadder! ** Oh you unlucky bastard. * One of [[ThisTroper this troper's]] friends is unsually tall and unusually curvy. For whatever reason, requests for hugs were always accepted, leading to an effect not much different than this. * {{This troper}} is only 5'3" but has a 34E chest. Working as tech support, she often turns (while standing) to show a sitting person how something is done on a PC, and the person turns his head to look at her... HilarityEnsues. ** Oh you lucky in a sense bitch. ** Um...I've been having some technical issues... ** This troper gives her sympathies to you. She is just a little shorter and pretty damn busty as well. The back aches alone... [[spoiler: 38GG. That stands for 'Good God.']] *** Really, well, that's...too bad. [[spoiler:Don't ask for pics. Don't ask for pics. Don't ask for pics. Don't ask for pics]]...Got any pics? [[spoiler:FUCK!]] ** This troper is another 34 Eer however I'm 5'7" and have been know to use marshmellow hell on my (straight) female friends as a method of shutting them up. It works. I would use on guys but the only male friend I have is a gay giant. *** Can I be your friend? ** This troper is 16, and her 38D bra is has been too small for a while. I can't run, I can't hug, and I can't even jump for a hanging light switch without EVERYONE staring. And I can't even jog without

worrying about stretch marks. Take it from me, bigger is not always better. Plus, it's damn hard to find a shirt that'll fit right, without baring my navel. * This troper is 18, yet so short that he comes face to face, er, [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean a little lower]] with most girls. However, given that people usually bend down to hug, it's played normally mostly. Other than plays, he rarely gets hugs from non relatives though. * [[SharmHedgehog This editor]] ''wanted'' to do this intentionally, but I chickened out. It ''did'', however, happen in a dream... * This troper is taller (about 6'1") than most of her friends, and has a 32DD chest. She has managed to get her friend's face stuck in her cleavage on several occasions. ** How the hell does someone get their face ''stuck'' in...You know what? Never mind. I don't need to know. *** Yes you and I do! * This troper is seemingly at the perfect height to get a face full of breast whenever her female friends try to hug her. Awkwaaaaaard. ** It's only awkward if you make it awkward. (Ever notice awkward is, well, awkward to type?) * This troper had a slouch that puts his head at good level to hit breasts, although he receives it mostly from the {{Pettanko}} of his friends. It's actually nicer than it sounds, boob hell from a flatchested, I mean. ** {{Pettanko}}s [[MemeticMutation can hold you closer to their heart when they do that]] :D *** Awww *** Now I feel like a jerk for having a large chest. :C * This troper gets it from two people: a close female friend normally as a greeting or a reward for something, and from his girlfriend mostly as a present or as part of foreplay. Its weird knowing the friend is bisexual and [[DepravedBisexual occasionally depraved]] and has vehemently shown interest in both myself and my girlfriend. ** Lucky bugger. * This troper and two of his friends once had this little snippet: -> ''(Me and my friend ... (lets call her "T") crash into each other)'' -> '''Me:''' ... Ow, please get off me. -> '''T:''' Why? am I too heavy for you? -> '''Me:''' No only ... um, your boobs are in my face. -> ''(Another (female) friend (who we'll call "L" ... [[DeathNote No relation]]) starts laughing)'' -> ''(Me and T get up) -> '''L:''' Yeah, I think thats conclusive proof that your gay. -> '''Me:''' Why? -> '''L:''' Because you want a girls tits ''out'' of your face! ... This troper is actually Bisexual, by the way. * This troper had a girlfriend who thought it was vengeful to stop people being able to go upstairs. I never had the heart to point out what standing two steps above someone and pushing down on their shoulders actually achieved. * This troper had a short, busty supervisor at his job. While seated at my desk, I heard her say my name and rotated my chair around. And

so I found myself about half an inch from unintended marshmallow hell. Fortunately, I was able to explain my reaction as "you startled me." * This troper's friend plans to marshmallow him if/when they get a chance to meet in person. * [[SweetnessOnAHotCircuit Ths Troper's]] girlfriend always does this to her. It's wonderful. I call them my squishy bags'o'fun. * This troper wrote a celebrity erotica story where he gets this from AmberBenson. And then [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean it really gets interesting...]] * [[MeganPhntmGrl This C-cupped troper]] is 5'9", and while I ''was'' taller than my ex-boyfriend, it was only by two inches, so this didn't come into play. However, my youngest brother is unfortunately of a height where I have to be very careful when I hug him, or else I risk giving him some interesting stories to tell a shrink later. * This Troper tends to get this from his girlfriend (34D) - and her twin sister. Though that's usually unwilling...* cough* * This 5'11", well endowed Troper has to bend over when hugging her significantly shorter friends in order to avoid this. ** Then of course, there is the fact that the guy she currently likes is much shorter than her. (Don't worry, we've not hugged yet.) * Unfortunately, it appears that this trope is permanently averted for this troper, as he is absurdly tall (in fact taller than pretty much everyone he knows). CURSE YOU GENETICS! * MarshmallowHell: only slightly worse than {{Gentle Giant}}s who pick you up to hug you. [[TheNapoleon I'M NOT THAT SMALL, GEEZ]]. * Most Valentine's Day memories are not ones I'd care to remember, especially during my K-12 years as they were awkward, forced, phoney, or all three! But the one I do love to recall is when I blew my meager savings for a dozen red roses on my then-sweetheart...who was both taller than me and might as well have had watermelons stuffed down her shirt. On coming to school the day after the flowers were anonymously delivered, said troper received the Mother Of All Marshmellow ~Heavens~...in the main room. In front of several friends and the principal. The ensuing teasing and syrupy comments endured for at least a month, but I could have cared less, although I was so goofy one teacher asked if I'd been smoking weed! ** D'awwwwww. * When I was in crew, I got glomped by a female rower with an impressive pair (they must have been at least half a grapefruit in size each.) It was pretty sweet, as she was wearing a skintight uni at the time. Heck, any time she hugged me I seriously risked being trapped in their. Needless to say, it was pretty extreme Fetish Fuel * This troper doesn't have a story about this, but would like to say that given the volume here, tvtropes may increase bosom size? I say experiment. For, er, purely scientific purposes. ** Do let us know how it goes. * This troper is 5'4" and regularly cosplays as [[TengenToppaGurrenLagann Simon]]. Experiencing MarshmallowHell courtesy of Yoko cosplayers with a sense of humour is a frequent consequence of his choosing to cosplay as [[AccidentalPervert Simon]] [[OneHeadTaller in particular]]. An ''awesome'' consequence.

** Wow. [[@/FuschlatzOReilly This troper]] knows what he's gonna wear the next time he goes to an anime convention... * This tropette is under five foot with 36 Fs... and accidentally does this to ''anyone'' I hug who is sitting down. Including, to my intense embarrassment, my parents. * A small 7th grader attended my high school for advanced math. My friend cheerfully asked if she could give him a hug. He agreed, and smushed himself in her boobs, much to everyone's amusement. While complaining about that last bit, she mentioned in passing how he hadn't done that the first time. Me: "Why did you hug him?" Friend: "Well, he looked like Harry Potter! Don't judge me!" * This troper likes to act as the innocent one (and for the most part is) in a social circle of perverts, girls included. A few times, whenever someone said something sexual, I would hide my head in my shirt by pulling the collar up over it. After doing that a few times, four girls decided to hug me all at once when I was doing it. When I was sitting down. 360 degrees worth of boobs. * This 36DD troper rather enjoys inflicting this upon her boyfriend for various reasons... Unfortunately, I'm 16 and he's almost 18, so I may need to find other ways to have fun with this. * Now that I think of it, if my friend weren't such a cautious and reluctant hugger, she would do this. Maybe that's why she is one. * [[GeneralKrad This troper]] is going through it now, courtesy of my girlfriend. She also constantly loves doing this to me to tease me. No complaining from me either. * In the 2010 Madison Savoyards production of ''HMSPinafore'', the actor playing Sir Joseph was rather short. In the end, when Josephine went to Ralph, Hebe got Sir Joseph's attention this way. * This troper decided to be funny and flash her friend... who is bisexual and not very good with girls. She hugged him from behind shirtless and he got a nosebleed by that. When he came back (nosebleed gone), she flashed him and hugged him with her chest against his clothed one... he got another nosebleed. Poor guy needs more boobs. ** In the meantime, however, I am available to receive his alloted quantity of boobs in his stead * This troper is fairly short... * Seems as though there's a lot of well endowed Troperettes. ** This is the anecdote section for an act that requires an, er, imposing figure. That's a mother of a sample bias - weigh this page against A-Cup Angst, for instance. * This troper has a good number of friends that could do this, and he's tried very slyly to invoke this trope by "accident" a few times. But I can't get it to work. Man, [[CantGetAwayWithNuthin can't get away with nuthin'...]] * [[@/{{LtHikaru}} This troper]] does it to her boyfriend when he's sitting at his computer (I'm shorter than him if he's standing). It's actually gotten to the point where he'll hide in my boobs and look up at me with this adorable wide-eyed expression. * Having a VERY well-endowed chest myself... Any hug I give to my younger siblings or shorter friends turns into this. Sad thing? No one cares. ** I would!

* This troper, through a series of interesting events involving her well-endowed best friend, discovered that, if someone is sitting down and a girl the same height as them goes to hug them, his or her head would be about chest level, resulting in this. Amusingly enough, said best friend didn't seem to notice or mind... * This troper had a friend unexpectedly sit on his lap at school because it was the only seat. Except her ample chest was blocking his view of anything else. He didn't complain. She moved when he said something stupid ("Wow. You're really lighter than I thought you'd be.") She jumped off and landed the back of her hand square across his face. He honestly didn't intend to say she looked fat but it sure came out that way. * Is it possible to have a gender-reversed version of this? Because if so, then this Troper has a story: ballroom dancing in PE. He's the tallest guy in the class, and got partnered with the shortest girl in the class (about a head and then some shorter than he is). Made it hard to look her in the eyes. * This troper joined the anime club at his school. Keep in mind he is a short, skinny, adorable 12 year old boy. Once the high school girls saw me their immediate response was "Oh my gawd! he's so tiny!" Soon I found myself in marshmallow hell. * This troper is the most well-endowed out of my immediate circle of friends. Cue other girls ducking down when we hug, just so they can put their head on/in my chest. I've also been told, by numerous people, that I have a very comfortable bosom. * This troper seriously wants to know how, no matter whether I'm standing or sitting or what position my best friend is in, I ''always'' manage to get this when she hugs me. We're both approximately the same height, so either she's doing it on purpose (which would mean she likes me or she's just being a bitch...which isn't like her at all)...or [[UnluckyChildhoodFriend God really hates me.]] * This troper accidentally did this. To her (seated) MALE best friend. [[ItGotWorse While his girlfriend was watching.]] And then we all quite nearly died of laughter or embarrassment. * This troper remembers a time when he was in the seventh grade and during a pizza party for the honor roll, one kid had an allergic reaction to something in the pizza, and when his reaction kicked in my hilariously well endowed english teacher jammed the poor/lucky bastards face in between her tits and marched him out of the room. Had I been a braver boy I would've announced "I'll have what he's having." * this used to happen to me when i was younger, shorter, and actually a bit more prudish, i hadn't hit growth spurt yet so i was only about 4-4.5 feet tall, every girl in my class never had any thoughts for me, that i know of, but a few of the girls in classes higher than me made known that they were interested. now i'm 6 foot something turning 18 and i actually have a libido and sadly i'm too tall for this to ever happen again... * This (gay) troper gets this constantly, usually tripping and landing face first into cleavage, cue [[ArmorPiercingSlap slaps]]. * This troper, while not involved, heard of a good one from a friend and her then boyfriend. She had once inflicted massive marshallow hell

upon him when, right in the middle of the ordeal, said boyfriend's braces became hopelessly hooked in her shirt. In the middle of the mall. For fifteen minutes. [[HilarityEnsues Hilarity Ensued]]. * A friend of mine saw me and went all "AAAW CUUUUTE! MUST HUG" and the force of the hug made her well endowments squish against my neck. I'm a straight female so my response was not, as she put it, "I'm gonna die happy~" but "ack can't breathe". * Several instances with a two best friends when [[@/SoWeAteThem I]] was 15. I was an awkward youth. But unrelated to any of them... ** Here's a mathematical equation for you. Pool+Eyeballs=Chlorine+Eyeballs. Chlorine+Eyeballs=Stinging Pain+Altered Vision. Stinging Pain+Altered Vision+Closed Eyes=Chlorine+Eyeballs-Stinging Pain-Altered Vision-Eyesight. Chlorine+Eyeballs-Eyesight=Pool-Eyesight. Pool-Eyesight=Faceplant Into Older Woman's Cleavage. Faceplant Into Older Woman's Cleavage+ApologyProfuse=Prompt Forgiveness. * ThisTroper (Brick3621) has a female friend who is slender, but very well endowed. (Come to think of it, she looks a ''lot'' like [[FinalFantasy Tifa Lockhart]].) She's shorter than I am, so I don't get a ''faceful'' when she hugs me, but it's still... slightly uncomfortable. At one point, we actually ''did'' start dating, and she was all for snuggling together, but I usually wound up resting my head on her shoulder because there was no way in heck I was going to discreetly move lower, let alone casually ask her to change her position so as to make access easier. Looking back, we ''did'' make out a lot, so maybe she wouldn't have been offended about touching her there. Not ''fondling'', mind you. * [[Tropers/YvannaIrie This troper]] was once taking some rather fanservicey pictures with a female friend of hers. Said female friend proceeded to grab the back of my head and pull my head down between her very ample chest which was further supported by a corset. Cue me managing just for three pictures before starting to flail and pulling away abruptly. She had crushed my mouth and nose so tightly against her cleavage that I had literally been unable to breathe in. ** Pics or it didn't happen. * One time I was in a movie theater, looking at one of the movie posters. When I turned around, I crashed face-first into a ''very'' hot, ''very'' busty girl's chest. Of course, I was ''8'', so it wasn't too terribly exciting, and [[NeverLiveItDown my mom saw the whole thing...]]And I'm 6'1 now, so [[DownerEnding this will never happen to me again.]] * This Troper's Girlfriend is more than happy to take any and every chance to shove his face in her E's, or let him rest on them whenever he has a bad day or is just plain tired. * My friend was sitting down, I was standing up, and I hugged him. I didn't realise just what was happening until he yelled "Face full of cleavage!" Awkward. D: * This troper has a friend who's recognized by all as well endowed. As we're a little close, and she's just a really GenkiGirl, she's always so up and happy about everything. So, when we meet on other times, she greets me with hugs. I was sitting, all normal, when she just suddenly came in a burst and hugged me. And no, I didn't have the time to stand

up. 'Mellow Hell for me. * I used to do this on purpose to my sister sometimes when she was younger. In fact, she was tall enogh that her mouth alined with my nipple! The problem being, that i am a dude... * [[Tropers/{{Ryuuma}} This Troper]] was attending a play in a theatre with his class, when the girl sitting behind him (me) stood up and bowed a little in order to say something to someone else in another row. Resulting in her breasts on my head. I'm not sure she did noticed something, but as for me... it was pleasant.... ^_^ * I have a [[GenkiGirl friend]] who has a habit of grabbing my head and hugging it to her chest. I think I would probably enjoy this more if I were shorter, but she's tiny, and she basically has to forcefully bend me down do administer MarshmallowHell. I tried to do this back to her one day, but because I'm [[{{Pettanko}} flat,]] it didn't work quite so well.. * [[Tropers/{{MichaelKatsuro}} This Troper]] knew a girl who did this to him. She became his boyfriend after a while and good times were had by all. ---Return to the [[MarshmallowHell best hell of them all]]. ----

Masquerade * This troper once discovered that his college computer lab, which appeared to be drab and dull, was in reality a beautiful old room with church-like windows and mock-gothic stonework. The room's decorators had intentionally installed a false ceiling to conceal the room's true nature. ** Why? Just Why? The students at my college are prepared to kill for decent, viewable architechture. * Well, I'm not supposed to tell others about the hunt, but I figure the world needs to know, see what I mean? And this is an anonymous wiki, so the council of ancients won't know what I'm doing. I mean haven't you ever caught a shadow in the corner of your eye? Those are the dread shadow lords, demons my people have fought for ages untold since the foundation of the world. All you have to do is believe, and then you can see them, those that hide in plain sight. ** I see you. [[DramaticGunCock chic-klack]] ** [[IJustWantToBeSpecial Tell me more. Let me help you.]] ** If your being serious I would also like you to tell me more and to let me help you but if this is just a joke then nevermind. ** Whatever this is, count me in. ** [[SincerityMode So you can see the demons, too?]] I thought I was the only one. ** I never thought I'd see one of our own here. Neither did I expect so many to be interested in our mission. I know I can't stop any of you, but before you decide to join our crusade, tell me: are you willing to throw away your "normal", perfectly functional lives for the life of unending battle we lead? Are you willing to risk your bodies, your families and your sanity just to catch a glimpse of the truth beneath the surface? Think about it. Because I don't want anyone

who has anything to lose to join us. I've done a lot of bad things in my line of work, but never would I deprive a man of a chance to live a happy life. That's the shadow lords' job. ** When we leave this place tonight, they will know that with a deft hand, a sword may even cut the oldest mask. ---There is no {{Masquerade}}. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

MassEffect Well, with all the different experiences we'll have we should have this. This really goes for all games. ---* While playing through the game, this troper's grandpa would come in and watch the second he heard laser blasts. Near the end where Shepard gives his dramatic speech about taking their own back from the collectors, my grandpa excitedly did a fistpump and shouted: "YEAH GO GET 'EM!" I haven't seen my grandpa this excited about something in years. * I depleted all of the Sol System (beside for any moons, Mars, or Earth). CrowningMomentOfFunny. ** I was honestly surprised it wasn't done long before Shepard was ever born. *** Well, [[UranusIsShowing Uranus]] was '''probed''' to depletion already. **** [[YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries "Quiet, you fool! Do you want the aliens to probe]] [[IncrediblyLamePun Uranus?!"]] ***** "Maybe..." *** "''Really'', Commander?" * I've got to say, being a [[MagicKnight Vanguard]] in ME 2? ''Wacky fun.'' The original Vanguard didn't have much going for it, but now? I have at least half of the biotic powers in the game at my disposal. I can wear down enemies with sub-machinegun and handgun fire from a distance, with occasional smatterings of some of the ranged biotic powers. And then, when there's only a few dudes left, I equip the shotgun and charge in, and it's gloriously, messily over. ** I thought the [[TheRedMage Sentinel]] was really good too. Those annoying [[GiantMook YMIR Mechs]] were as threatening as stuffed animals after a Level 4 Overload followed by a Level 4 Warp. It was awesome! * Word of advice...don't fire the Cain (aka ''mini-nuke launcher'') inside the cargo hold of the Normandy. You get a...rather glitchy game over. ** I did fire it. I didn't get a game over. Of course I made sure the eye-thing was across the room and I had cover. *** Fair enough. Apparently, when I fired it off, it was close enough and destructive enough to take out not only the Oculus, but ''my

entire squad''. Since the Oculus's health was depleted, though, it went ahead to the next mini-cutscene with the Normandy flying through the debris field...and then I got the game over when the ''cutscene'' returned to Shepard. The Cain ''broke the game engine'' to give me a game over. * This troper had a rather heart warming experience on his first playthrough of [=ME2=]. He had spent the game perfecting his squad and himself, (full upgrades, all squad loyalty missions complete) just so that he lost as few people as possible during the last mission. Earlier in the game, he used the games autosave feature to correct mistakes; repairing romances, trying out new interupts, and used it to create the perfect story. During the last mission, he knew he was going to lose Jack and Samara, having failed Samara's mission and agreeing with Miranda during the cat-fight. However, he lost someone he was not prepared to lose: long time friend, sniper partner (to his infiltrator), and repeat squad member, Garrus. He was carried off and killed by the collector swarm, after Thane used his biotic shield to defend them. And this troper finally accepted that his Shepard's story would not be perfect, that things would not allways go according to plan. And it made his RoaringRampageOfRevenge all the more powerful. ** This troper romanced Kaidan in the first game, but wasn't particularly impressed. In the sequel I quickly began to appreciate how Garrus had grown as a character. In a galaxy that was so hostile, Garrus was a true friend, and that respect became something much more. It was all very natural, if a bit awkward. Then he died exactly as the previous troper described. It made the experience particularly bitter sweet. ** This troper only messed up by agreeing with Miranda, and therefore only lost Jack. Not that I care. She was a crazy annoyance anyhow. I'm glad Tali survived, though. My Shepard is a bit like Kirk. First Romance: Liara. Second Romance: Tali. He likes aliens, alot. *** This troper also romanced Liara then Tali. I had intended to stay faithful at the start of the second game, but Liara's nearly total lack of acknowledgment of the relationship left me with no defenses against Tali's adorably awkward show of interest. **** This troper intended and did the exact same thing. I was rather annoyed at Liara and Tali was too hard to resist. **** She does give you a kiss rather than a hug, that's all. **** Same with me. I always liked Tali since the first game, but her being unavailable meant I chose Ashley. Then, in the second game Ashley yelled at me and just left without listening to my explanation of why I was with Cerberus, and Tali joined despite her hatred for them. Hello, Tali! **** I had always wanted to romance Tali, but couldn't in [=ME1=], so I romanced Liara instead then Tali in 2. Then in Lair of the Shadow Broker I got in a fight with Liara about how close she was to going over the edge so I appealed to our previous relationship. Her response? "Now you're just itching to get under Tali's helmet!" That was awkward, but then funny when I realized that the other member of my squad at the time was Tali herself. She's just standing off on her own, watching this whole thing go on without saying a word. ** Good point with the "Shepard's story can't always be perfect,

things don't always go according to plan." On my first crack at the suicide mission, I lost Tali, because I chose Samara to lead the first fire team (They had recommended "experience," and her bio ''said'' experience, but...then again, it's not the leading-a-team kind of experience), and she didn't shout to cover fire when we were closing the first set of doors. When a rocket got through and hit Tali in the face, my heart froze solid. I managed to keep everyone else alive during the rest of the mission, but when I saw the empty space in the Normandy where Tali used to be, it sort of hit me that it made a sick sort of sense -- the optimistic teenager, the youngest and the one who had been through a cold upbringing and was probably the brightest of your crew, would of course be the one most susceptible to die. Sort of like killing off the LittlestCancerPatient to show you the shit has hit the fan. As dramatic as that is from a storytelling perspective, though, I had to reload to save her. It may be less dramatic, but I'm still happy that I managed to get everyone out alive. *** No way, EXACT same thing here. Thought process and everything. *** whoa did I make a post when I was sleeping?! because this is exactly what happened to me, I got so mad I punched my friend and restarted the mission, I picked Samara because he was talking and i couldn't hear the TV, so i just picked to most experienced person for the job, bad move as I learned later to distressing results... ** I chose Garrus because of his past. Leading his little merc band on Omega while I was gone. Also, Tali is either 22 or 24 in MassEffect 2. *** Shepard is ([[BackFromTheDead technically]]) 31. Jacob is 28. Miranda is 35. Zaeed is probably well into his fifties. Legion is "not applicable". Samara is nearly 1000, Garrus is probably in his late thirties or even into his forties, given that most turians serve in the military until the age of 30. Thane is 39. Mordin is 48. Jack might be around 20-24. The only one really younger than Tali is Grunt, whose age is measured in weeks, and even before he had a last minute background change, he was 22. So yeah, I'd say she's one of the youngest. **** Mordin is 48?! That's weird, because he doesn't look about to die of old age, and Salarians rarely live past 40, I've heard. ***** He's not 48. He is actually 30 - the salarian equivalent to 48year-old human. **** Turians "serve the state in some capacity" from 15 to 30. Garrus is probably in his twenties, actually. ***** Except C-Sec isn't part of the Turian Hierarchy. Twenties is patently unrealistic, anyway: the Codex states that applicants usually have years of experience before joining C-Sec, and Garrus was fairly high up in the organisation. Oh, and "serve the state" basically means "was in the military", as it's basically the sole government agency the turians have. It does ''everything'', from transporting goods between worlds to providing fire fighters to acting as police. ***** It's not unreasonable to think that Garrus is roughly the same age as Shepard. Remember, turians recruit on their fifteenth birthday. He could have easily joined C-Sec in his 20's with plenty of experience under his belt, not to mention the fact that he was so impressive that he was offered Spectre training. * The final mission, GOD. I had no idea it would kick off in the

ambush: after going to clean up a merc-infested station I see the whole team loading on the shuttle. Irregular, sure, maybe this mission is just special. Suddenly the Collector ship's there and Joker is running his gimpy ass through the corridors as the crew's being eaten by Collectors. Seeing a big'un in the Core room and hearing Seth Green's ''perfect'' 'Shit shit shit!' was paralyzingly between hilarious and horrifying. Then Shepard's back and the whole crew's gone. I had him walk through the empty ship, weighed my remaining two team members who weren't loyal against the whole crew... and Shepard made the tough call to go in after them. When they split up the teams, getting to dole out who's in charge of what brought tears to my eyes: now we're really in the captain's seat. With Miranda and Jack bickering, there was one clear choice: Garrus spent the two years Shepard went missing not running errands for the Alliance, running errands for the Quarians, setting up a pretty info brokering shop on Illium or breaking faces on Tuchanka (which is pretty much Krogan soccer), but by grabbing a bunch of disgruntled ex-military guys and becoming The Punisher. His sheer aura of badass got the whole squad through, and when he got caught by a bullet my heart froze, then I jumped out of my seat when he pats Shepard on the back and keeps going. Getting Chambers and Chakwas out safe was a CMOH (I checked the wiki to see if there were game effects for delaying... thank God I didn't). Getting them back to the Normandy? That was a tough decision, but in the end I reasoned it had to be a one-man army: Joker and Grunt probably had a hell of a fun time getting them back. Need a superpowerful biotic to hold up a field, but Samara wasn't loyal and didn't have her head on the mission. Miranda goes for those doe eyes (lover and all), but Jack finally gets to use her powers for good: decades later, all Cerberus' monstrosities and filthy money save the galaxy. Had Garrus in my final squad, too. Seeing Shepard dive for and catch him from the sliding platform, then Garrus return the favor on the Normandy were double [[CrowningMomentofAwesome Crowning Moments of Awesome]]. [[HoYay God I wish Shepard could go gay...]] ** Well... if you download the savegame editor and toggle the 'gender' button... (Really enjoyed her male!Shepard/Garrus game) * The endgame was, for this troper, one of the most satisfying experiences he's had in his long career as a gamer. This was my first playthrough, and I continued with my "balanced male" Shepard -- whose character could be described as "a peerless friend and leader, but the ''last'' enemy you'll ever make." You can probably imagine his (and my) reaction to the Collectors making off with the ''Normandy's'' crew. As the cutscenes came to a close and I walked out into the CIC, I took a look at my (real-world) clock. It read 2:00 AM. That gave me pause... but then I thought, ''No. No, no, '''no'''. [[PapaWolf Those insectoid bastards just made this personal]]. [[{{Determinator}} I'll be damned if I let a little thing like the fourth dimension keep me from getting my crew back.]]'' After that moment, both myself and Shepard were completely resolved. We would hammer our way through that hellish hive, destroy whatever resistance we encountered with extreme prejudice, and we would not stop until everyone, ''everyone,'' got home safe. [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome And that's exactly what we did.]] No one left behind --and no one left to curse us as we escaped the

fireball. Telling the Illusive Man, who had put us all in so much danger, that the ''Normandy'' and her crew were loyal to me now, was just the icing on the cake. And as Shepard looked to the future, at the Reaper fleet poised to annihilate the galaxy, I'm sure our thoughts were the same: ''[[FireForgedFriends We've been through all the hell you've thrown at us]]. [[{{Nakama}} It's only made us all the stronger]]. [[BadassBoast You call yourselves "infinitely our greater." Well, I can't wait to prove you wrong.]]'' * This troper was heartbroken by Ashley's rejection of Shepard on Horizon. I didn't even romance Ashley (I romanced Liara), but it hurt how she thought I had betrayed her. I never liked Cerberus anyway, but after that scene, I would have been willing to turn my back on them if it meant Ashley would forgive me. ** @/JoieDeCombat was similarly heartbroken by Kaidan's "[[WhatTheHellHero What the hell, Shepard?]]" Then went back to her quarters on the Normandy and found all her fish belly-up. That was a crappy day all around, apparently. ** This troper, in addition to being ripped up and down by Ashley, also got a nasty e-mail from Toombs that basically called me everything but a senile vorcha. After having done everything in my power to get him help in the first game, seeing that message was absolutely demoralizing. And then the next message was ''spam.'' I very much wanted to fly to the Citadel and choke the spammer with his, her or its "reproductive enhancements." ** This troper actually had a far different reaction to Ashley. I also romanced Liara and was pure paragon so when Ashley didn't even bother listening to me I got seriously pissed and pretty decided that I should never have let her live through the first game. The bitch deserves a nuke to the face after refusing to give me five minutes to explain the current situation. (The email after apologizing almost made up for it but it was just too little too late. The bridge had been burned.) * The cybernetics damage upgrade allowed @/{{Night}} to set up some ridiculous and ridiculously awesome scenes in the game. Start by punching out Husks, which you shouldn't actually be able to punch out. End by running up to the Geth Prime on the Alarei and ''beating it to death with your rifle butt'' in vengeance for your romance interest of choice's father. * I was a little disappointed when I managed to keep all my companions alive on my first playthrough. It felt too easy. So I reloaded the final mission and made a few different choices. Result: Garrus, Thane and ''Mordin Solus'' all die. Three of my favourite characters. I'm positive the only reason Tali didn't die with them was because I sent her back to the ship. Be careful what you wish for, eh? * Here's a fun thing to do. In the suicide mission, right before [[spoiler: the Thanix Cannon fires if you have it]], shout, '''[[SkiesOfArcadia "MOONSTONE CANNON, FIRE!"]]''' ** This troper was laughing and cheering at the same time, as the score became Joker 2, Cosmic Horrors 1. "HAHA, PWNED! Who's got the big effin' guns NOW, [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch BITCHES?!]]" *** [[{{@/MagnusRyujin}} This troper]] defies you to NOT be thinking "HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NAO, [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch BEE-OTCH?!]]" as the

Collector ship that [[spoiler: Killed you at the start of the game]] asplodes. This troper has also dubbed the [[spoiler: Thanix Cannon]] the "Armageddon" simply because of how freaking awsome it is. Plus you know saying "ARMAGEDDON, FIRE!" sounds [[RuleOfCool EPIC.]] *** I just loved it , it was like a beam of furious justice from on high. Fought the urge to Snark. [[spoiler:' Foul beast , The Fallen of the Normandy would have words with you.']] *** Oh, ''hell'' yes. That cutscene is all kinds of emotional, [[MultipleEndings depending on whether you upgrade or not]]. If you get all the upgrades, then it's tense, but ultimately badass as the [=SR2=] finally avenges her older sister. If you ''don't'' upgrade... well, let's just say that if you don't research the Multicore Shielding, ''Tali disintegrates''. ** This troper just smirks and says "[[PreMortemOneLiner Let's see how you like it.]]" And bye bye Collector ship. ** This troper simply thinks of the Thanix Cannon as a cleansing white mist that purifies everything it touches. * [[{{@/Prioris}} This troper]] got a little choked up right before the suicide mission. Her Shepard just stood in her cabin, looking sadly and longingly at that photo of Liara on her desk, as "Reflections" (the remix of [=ME1's=] love theme) played quietly in the background. No words were spoken, and yet it was perfectly clear just how much they must have loved each other. Combined with the knowledge of the hell Liara had endured in Shepard's absence, I got the sense that Shep had resolved that she couldn't die, because she'd be damned if she would put Liara through that kind of suffering again. ** That wordless scene nearly made this editor cry. *** [[@/TheShinySword This troper]] ''did'' cry. * [[@/SkarmoryThePG This Troper]] paused when it came to the final choice. Then he thought back to Mordin's and Legion's words. What the last race to be given technology they're not ready for did. What the last one to be promised it did. No way I'm keeping that thing in one piece. ** And what if the krogan hadn't been given that technology? The rachni would likely have conquered the galaxy. There's really no happy option (which, incidentally, is why This Troper would like Bioware to get rid of the Paragon/Renegade labels). ** Tropers/{{biznizz}}: That... whoa, Skarmory, that was poetic as hell! Makes me wish they could have included that into the actual game itself, as a reason Shepard gives to the Illusive Man should you make that choice. ** Tropers/{{ironballs16}}: This troper likes the way Skarmory thinks, but my mindset with that decision was, in essence, the same as scientists and physicians immediately after World War II. The Nazis had made huge strides in terms of understanding the human body - but the methods used to do so were [[TheHolocaust morally bankrupt]]. So the decision boiled down to this - do you use the technology for the greater good, and help make the deaths of those effected "worthwhile" while selling out every principle you have... or do you reject the technology, with all the benefits it might bring, and stand by your principles? Being the "Lawful Good" sort, I obviously opted for the latter.

*** Actually, the knowledge gained by Nazi science was preserved, and many Nazi scientists and engineers not (provably) directly involved were hired by the American and Russian governments and excused. Also, you don't have to sell out your principles to make those deaths worthwhile, you only need to have principles that don't forbid it. (Knowledge is not tainted by the method of gaining it, only the method and those that would use it are). * [[{{@/MagnusRyujin}} This troper]] managed to blow the head off a YMIR Mech during the mission to acquire Jack/Subject Zero. I was surprised at first, then i noticed the glow of doom coming from the YMIR shortly before the crazy thing went up in a M-290 Cain-style Nuclear explosion. Freaking Awesome. ** On Garrus' mission? With the two mechs? Yeah, I headshot one with my Infiltrator, and the ensuing explosion took out the other. It was awesome. * Grunt's Loyalty mission. Comes down to Adept Shepard vs. [[DuelBoss Uvenk]]. Used Pull + Throw to push him out of the (terrestrial) arena. So technically the [[ProudWarriorRaceGuy Krogan]] [[AuthorityEqualsAsskicking Clan Leader]] was killed by a 4 foot drop. * My female Shepard tried romancing Garrus after being shut down by Kaidan on Horizon. Must have missed a prompt or two, because she failed, and I felt ''really'' sorry for her. Girl's got a horrible love life. ;_; * This Troper took Miranda to fight the Oculus. Prompt Miranda calling herself from the cockpit, telling Shepard and herself to get back up to her. As if two of them weren't already enough. * This troper got the Cain before he went to go get Samara. He then got to a part where a large group of mercenaries was. Anxious to both avoid a big firefight and to test the Cain out, he took it out and (after a few trial-and-error charge ups) fired it. The "HOLY CRAP!" that followed probably echoed. There was NOTHING left. ** This troper first used the Cain on a pair of Varren on a side mission. The word 'overkill' doesn't ''quite'' cover what happened. Feel free to imagine my expression afterward. ** This Troper's first experience with the Cain was in Grunt's loyalty mission. Cue cries of "Holy shit!" as a massive nuclear fallout decimates the Thresher Maw to %40 of its health. Due to safety and ammo concerns after some tangling with Eclipse mercs however, the Cain was shelved for the rest of the game. ** This Troper had a hell of a time fighting the first Praetorian on Horizon, the thing just moved too fast, and finally had to use every last bit of ammo in the Collector Particle Beam to take it down. Next Praetorian encounter on the Collector ship, This Troper sees it coming, pulls out the Cain (first time using it) and thinks "hope this works." One shot. Boom. ** I was initially disappointed with the Cain, since I failed to deploy it successfully against that very same praetorian on Horizon; In all the noise - both visual and auditory - I completely missed the charging whine and muzzle glow and didn't hold the trigger long enough to fire it. When I went to recruit Tali, I decided to give it another chance against the colossus that always ducks into cover to selfrepair, and this time I got it right. My reaction? "Holy

[[ClusterFBomb bleepety-bleeping]] ''[[ClusterFBomb bleep]]''! That thing just ''literally'' vaporized the colossus and killed every single geth in the entire area with one shot! ... I think I love this gun now." -- [=JustTheBast=] ** The hands-down best use of the Cain I've ever seen - fighting the Reaper-fetus on Insanity difficulty, so one shot won't be enough. Thankfully, I'd gotten enough of the DLC's and extra research done to allow for ''two'' shots from the Cain. When it popped back up the second time, I let fire... and cue cutscene. * [[@/FinalGamer This troper]], in Mass Effect 1 before Mass Effect 2 was released, decided to go crazy and face down a Thresher Maw. On foot. On hardcore. With pistols. His friend called him crazy but he killed four of them this way. Then the sequel came. Then came the Thresher Maw, and this troper said "....ohhhhh finally. I've been waiting for this day." Took it down, got the run of dialogue on how "nobody had taken a thresher maw down since Wrex" and he went "BITCH HE WAS MY '''FIFTH''' ONE!" * [[@/ComputerSherpa My]] Shepard saw her entire home colony, including her parents, destroyed by a Thresher Maw at Cerberus' command. Ramming a couple of nukes down one's throat felt ''good''. * Finished another playthrough. I was fighting the reaper and had it down to about half health. I knew the Cain would take it out. I shot. And the reaper moved. I sat swore for a moment as I watched the explosion go off in the background. I then took cover and pulled out my heavy pistol. Then the reaper came back up. I almost had a cow, my cain had hit the back wall and brought the reaper down to 1 health. I took my shot with the pistol. It died. I killed a reaper with a pistol. ** [[{{@/MagnusRyujin}} This troper]] has also dealt the killing shot to the reaper with a pistol(Not the hand cannon pistol, either). Of course, in my case, i had unloaded my entire supply of Heavy Weapon Ammo for the Collector Particle Beam and all my shots for the Vindicator Battle Rifle into the crazy thing in addition to spamming Warp(i was playing a Sentinel) and Zaeed's Inferno Grenade. Shooting it in the eye with a pistol for the kill made me laugh my ass off. *** This troper was a Vanguard. The heavy pistol and the Collector Particle Beam were his only ranged damage. The kicker? The pistol did better damage per second to the thing.... *** This troper finished the Reaper off with the Cain. Complete with a loud "TAKE THIS!" before firing. *** And this troper played Infiltrator and killed the thing with a sniper-rifle shot to the eye. On the final crescendo of the battle song. God I love this game. * When I played the first game, I never got over that empty space where Kaiden is supposed to stand. In the second, [[spoiler: I never got over the hundreds of empty spaces where everyone was supposed to go... And that one big empty spot where Tali should be. Goddamnit Renegade Shepard, stop killing the only people who give a shit about you.]] ** I play a Renegade, but one moment I remember distinctly is the "I remember me" quest in the first game. I took the game a bit too seriously and really thought about what my character wanted, and what

he thought about everything. So he did that quest in the nicest and most peaceful manner. Turns out, Shepard does care about some people. * I was very pissed off by the second game at one point. I let Wrex live, my friend did not. I was happy when I met Wrex again and really glad to see what he was doing with the clans. I was not happy when I found out that in the alternate version, where Wrex is dead, the Urdnot clan loves you anyway. Uuuurgggghhhh. ** Given that all of the non-quest-related [=NPCs=] border on making death threats and the quest-related ones are rather moody even with Wrex around, this troper questions the above troper's definition of "love". *** this troper thought that they showed respect when they payed attention to me because of the guy who bred grunt sayin the worst thing you could do to an enemy was to ignore them * I was trying to get the pistol achievement for the first game, and my Shepard was badass enough that I could do it on the second hardest difficulty for two achievements in one. Or three. I forget. I was actually having a lot of trouble with it, thinking that maybe this wasn't such a good idea, maybe this difficulty is too much for my Shepard, maybe I should've trained a bit more... Then I got the pistol achievement. I could use my other guns again. EVERYTHING DIED. * This troper nearly died of happiness after (and during) the suicide mission. Because he upgraded the ''Normandy'' and took every precaution to make sure everyone lived, he was thinking "YES, YES, YES!" during the insertion into the Collector station as one CMOA after another appeared. Joker finally showing us ''why'' he was "the best damn pilot in the Alliance fleet", maneuvering through a debris field during a dogfight with several Collector fighters, and finally taking out the massive Collector cruiser that destroyed the first ''Normandy'' in THREE SHOTS. Inside the station (after reloading once because he lost Grunt) and then breaking out of there, saving the galaxy from a Reaper-in-the-making with Garrus and Tali (he thought to himself "Just like old times, huh, guys?") and then running back to the ''Normandy''. They got to the ''Normandy'' and this troper felt like cheering when he saw ''Joker'' of all people on his feet spraying the Collectors with assault rifle fire. Then your two party members help you back on your feet after you miss the jump onto the ship. Then the ''Normandy'' [[OutrunTheFireball races the Collector station's explosion]] into FTL, escaping with zero casualties. Then there were two kickers. All throughout the game I'd been grudgingly polite to the Illusive Man. As he tried to give me a HannibalLecture, I picked all of the bottom options, telling him that I didn't work for him anymore, and that compromising my morals while saving the galaxy wasn't the way I did things. Then I gave him a ShutUpHannibal moment by telling Joker to cut the transmission. After this, Shepard walks into the Normandy's cargo bay, sees everyone, and Joker comes up to hand him a clipboard with a picture of a Reaper on it. Shepard nods at him then looks out the window, towards the stars. The view then changes to a Reaper ship with four yellow, glowing eyes floating among blackness that is quickly disappearing as the stars around it become hundreds upon thousands of Reapers that begin moving towards the edge of the Milky Way. Best. Ending. Cutscene. Ever.

* This troper had been pretty dead set on romancing Tali when he first heard about it from the net, even though he had romanced Liara in the first. Everything was going according to plan until he got to Illium and saw how much Liara had changed. Though this made it easier for a lot of people, this only made this troper start to feel weird about what he was doing. He grudgingly did the missions she asked him to, out of our history's sake, and upon learning what she had gone through and did for me, I felt kind of bad. However, I still was going for Tali. A few missions later, I decided to renegade flirt with Miranda, just to see those conversations a bit and got to a part where she called my Shepard a perfect human specimen. Remembering Liara calling me an interesting specimen in the first game, memories of what they had been through and what she had to go through on her own finally really dawned on me. I immediately broke off any romantic ties with any of the girls. Though my Shepard was alone the night before the last mission, seeing that he still cared about Liara in the end made it worth it to this Troper. ** Protip: Get the "Lair of the Shadowbroker" DLC - it'll make all that pain worthwhile for you. * This troper managed to finish Garrus' loyalty mission in a rather [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome awesome]] way. When confronted with the two YMIR mechs, I managed to headshot one, whose subsequent nuke-like explosion took out the other. ** This troper can top that. Seeing two heavy mechs, I panicked and pulled out the CAIN to finally test it. The resulting explosion vaporized both heavy mechs in a gigantic fireball without managing to hit anyone in my squad * This troper can attest to the power of Bioware's heartstringgrabbing moments in Mass Effect 2. Back in Mass Effect 1, I quickly discovered the specialist party members (Ashley, Liara, Tali) fairly outshined the hybrids through their unique abilities (heavy armor on a human, Singularity and AI Hacking, respectively), to the point where my Soldier never had to take Liara and Tali out of the party except for the character-specific sidequests. Combined with the fact that Kaiden always seemed to rub me the wrong way (made even worse when I discovered that he's much more open about his history with Fem!Shepard), this made my choice on [[spoiler: Virmire]] clear: Kaiden got the boot without much hesitation. I had never used him, even on higher difficulties, and never really missed him. Fast forward to Mass Effect 2, and the DLC Normandy Crash Site mission. I was wandering around, admiring the moody nostalgia Bioware was successfully invoking and trying to decide on a spot for the monument, when I reached Kaiden's spot. Cue the quick flash of his mugshot and I just...stopped. After all this time...I finally felt ''guilty'' about sacrificing him way back then. Sure, he'd pretty much just been a benchwarmer and he'd always been sort of neutral to me, but he was by no means a ''bad'' guy, and he certainly hadn't deserved to get nuked. I immediately put the monument down on that spot, sorely wishing I could add an inscription "For Kaiden" to it. When it came time to make a toast with Dr. Chakwas, my choice was once again clear: [[ManlyTears "For the friends we lost; for Pressly, for Jenkins...for Kaiden."]] * I played through [=ME1=] and [=ME2=] as a full renegade soldier who

will murder someone as soon as look at them. My background is Spacer (like Tali), and I'm the "Sole Survivor", the guy who does what it takes to get the job done. The only times I picked paragon choices were for Tali, and I would have romanced Tali in [=ME1=] if they gave me the option. My love for her got Thane killed. Tali is the obvious choice to send through the ducts, but there was no way on gods green earth I was risking her, and I ignored my 'mission first' persona. So I sent the Assassin and he got a rocket to the face. I'd sacrifice the entire galaxy to keep her alive. Incidentally, I lost Jack as well, after choosing her to lead a squad because I heard "diversion" and not anything about picking a good leader. It's amazing how even just losing those 2, somewhat minor members (I never used either in actual missions, sticking with Tali/Zaeed/Miranda for pretty much all of them), was directly because of how I'd played the game and how I'd played 'my' Shepard. ** I should also mention: I nuked the Geth base AND blew up the Reaper station because Tali believed it was the better course of action. ** Likewise this troper. I was during a pure Renegade play-through, with about my only Paragon actions being on Tali's loyalty quest (notably the interrupt) and when talking to my crew. For the entire duration of the game I was intending to hand the Collector base over to Cerberus. And then at the very end, Tali says 'That's not a good idea!', and my Shepard immediately goes '... yes dear.' and tells the Illusive Man to screw. * sighs* We are so whipped. * Just ended my ''first'' run at [=ME2=] with a full Paragon Shepard, destroying the Collector base and an EverybodyLives ending. I feel awesome right now :D. ** [[{{@/Griffinhart}} This Troper]] did the same on his first [=ME2=] run with a speed-run import character (well, a few Renegade interrupts were taken - the gunship mechanic in Archangel's recruitment mission and the merc standoff in Miranda's loyalty mission). Now to go back to [=ME1=] and do a [[HundredPercentCompletion "perfect" run]] (I skipped basically everything except story missions with my first import; now to see how much of an effect side-missions had). * This troper was blown away by Tali's loyalty mission. Seeing Tali's reaction to Shepard's suggesting that the Quarians should leave the Geth be, Giving her that hug that everyone with a soul chooses to give, defending her against the Board with magnificent effect (Paragon style), talking to every last Quarian on the ship without betraying Tali's trust, Seeing Veetor and Kal'Reegar alive and well, and even managing to give Jerkass Admiral Koris encouragement regarding his peace talks. My Shepard's made Quarian and Geth peace something of a personal mission. * This Troper has started to develop motherly feelings for Grunt out of all people. There's just something about his dialogue that makes her think of a kid going "Mom, you should be proud of me." ** This Troper is glad to know she's not the only one. ** Oh thank powers, I thought I was the only one. Maternal feelings? Well, fair enough. Maternal feelings around a krogan? Er... ** It's not just the ladies, when Grunt, Tali and my Shepard took the Thresher Maw out with nothing but our regular weapons and four-six grenade rounds on the heavy weapon (don't ask why, I thought the CPB

was crap at that point) I actually whispered "I'm proud of you Grunt", like a father. And the best part? Grunt finished the damn thing off. * Finished the game, but lost Thane while doing the Collector base. It hit pretty hard, but the worst moment came at the end, when you get to see the coffins of all those who have fallen. I broke down and cried on seeing Thane's coffin. * @/JoieDeCombat started a replay of the original Mass Effect after completing [=ME2=] and got unexpectedly misty upon triggering the conversation between Shepard, Kaidan, and Ashley at the overlook in the wards (the "oceans, [[MarsNeedsWomen beautiful women]], [[WhatIsThisThingYouCallLove this emotion called love]]" one). With the Paragon dialogue, it's such a wonderful moment of cameraderie between the three of them... and in a little more than two years, one of them will be dead and the remaining two estranged thanks to Shepard's two-year absence and alliance with Cerberus. * Upon learning that the [[spoiler: rouge geth were called Heretics.]] The Warhammer40K jokes instantly started and pretty much never stopped until the final mission. We're working for a Pro-Human dominance organization under the control of a Primarch. Inquisitor Miranda observes us and keeps us in line. Vindicare assassin Thane, the gentically 'perfect' ork Grunt, psyker Jack, Commissar Jacob (Renegade ending to his mission leaves no doubt), Rouge Trader/Mercenary Zaeed, Eldar Farseer Samara and her Slaanesh corrupted Daughter, loyal Kroot Garrus, Tech Priest Mordin (Weak I know but we had trouble thinking of anything else and we didn't want to make him Tau), Finally, the great Commander Shepard took her most trusted Tech Priest Tali to purge the Heretics with the Machine Spirit Legion! BURN THE COLLECTORS, CLEANSE THE HERETICS, KILL THE REAPERS! ** You can even make {{Halo}} jokes. How? Hmmmm, you're sent on a mission to kill a group who have betrayed the rest of their kind, and to top it all of, their side has the same name. Lets just hope the outcome isn't the same... *** Not the same, but similar. In both you have to get the spork off the heretic station before it becomes a lot less livable for anything organic. * This troper will get lynched by the male Shepards out there, she knows, but she inevitably ends up minionshipping Tali and Kal'Reegar like whoa. The "notice me!" vibe from Tali in some of their conversations is adorable. ** This troper has to agree - even after the mission, 'Reegar still refuses to call her anything but "Ma'am", as if ''he can't bring himself to call her Tali''. ** I would just like to point this tidbit out: -->Tali: Kal, please -- just call me Tali. -->Kal'Reegar: I'll work on that, ma'am. ::She does want to be on a FirstNameBasis with him. IfYouKnowWhatIMean, winkwinknudgenudge!: ** Nothing wrong with some PairTheSpares on the side, says SkarmoryThePG. ** Something else to note: when you first contact Tali on Haestrom, she asks you to save Kal'Reegar if you can. Not the marines protecting her - ''Reegar''.

*** In addition, if you do allow Reegar to assist you in taking down the Colossus, he says the usual "Keelah Se'lai", but instead of the usual "Lets kill Geth!" tone its more of a "I'm about to die" tone, then adds "Say hi to Tali for me." * Despite the general feeling of "WTF, Bioware?" that arose from [=ME2's=] handling of the Liara romance, this troper found several hilarious little moments in the game that take on a whole new meaning if you've resolved to stay faithful. Notable examples include: ** The Blue Rose of Illium sidequest. "It's not like humans where you just have to stick around for a century or so before they die..." (off Shep's offended look) "Oh, sorry. Not... meaning that personally or anything." ** Another Illium sidequest where the little girl lost that locket with the picture of her and her human father, and thinking that could happen to you in a few hundred years. ** Several points in Samara's loyalty quest. At one point, she describes the Ardat-Yakshi's method of DeathBySex as being completely different from "the gentle union of two minds that you're used to," and Shep just smiles in reply. Later, if you have a high enough Paragon or Renegade score, you can shrug off one such attempt at mindrape. Shep's smirk and deadpan "Surprise," and the baddie's resultant OhCrap expression, take on a whole new flavor of "You ain't it, Miss Thing." * This troper had been romancing Tali on his first play through, not really knowing what was going on or what to expect from the rest of the game. This troper had also been going around and talking to his crew, trying to make their lives better and such. One thing this troper had been doing was trying to convince Miranda she wasn't a tool for TIM, that she was her own person, could come out of her shell etc. etc. This troper was trying to compliment her foresight and Miranda blew it off, one of the dialogue tree's summed up this tropers thoughts: 'You're a hard person to compliment', so this troper went with that, Shepard (delightfully) putting this troper's thoughts to Miranda quite eloquently. Que Miranda being pleasantly surprised, posing sexily, and flirting with Shepard. This troper's first thoughts were, in order: ''"Oh SHIT, Tali's gonna kill me"'' and ''"[[ThatCameOutWrong That]]'' '''[[ThatCameOutWrong really]]''' ''[[ThatCameOutWrong didn't come out right]]"'' ** [[{{@/Griffinhart}} This Troper]] had the exact same reaction. Thank goodness you can still abort with the "let's stay professional" line. *** ...with the original LoveInterest you were flirting with, not with the ones who come up later. [[http://masseffect.wikia.com/wiki/Romance#Mass_Effect_2 As this here MEwiki article shows]], for some reason, when you flirt with someone else after "locking in" another interest, the second (or third!) will enter the "challenge" phase and you ''cannot'' express disinterest in them unless you dump the first one first. It's a...little annoying, to be honest. Not helped by the fact that saying anything slightly Paragon to Jack speeds her along the way to romance faster than you can say ThatCameOutWrong... *** Gah, I know, I got Jack to the challenge phase and kept thinking

''Damnit woman! I want to be nice to you and help you, not get into your pants! What is so hard about this concept?!'' Which is made doubly irritating because I ''like'' Jack, just nowhere near as much as I like Tali. * So my name is Matt, and the character you create will always have the last name of Shepard, right? Thus I didn't think anything of it at first when I went ahead and named my first character Matt Shepard. Five minutes later, [[TheLaramieProject I remembered the play I had been in last year]]. I sort of went [[NamesTheSame "Well, that's...an unfortunate coincidence..."]] Not that I regret carrying the guy through the Mass Effect saga so far, it's just a bit awkward when I think about it too much. UnfortunateImplications arise even more when there's no GayOption for male Shepards... ** [[@/PunxsatownyPhil This Troper]], whose name is not actually Phil, did the same thing and made the same connection. * During the final cutscene on the Collector base, [[{{@/Gaunt88}} I]] was practically on my feet, yelling out encouragment to Shepard and co, cheering when the Normandy rose up into view. Expecting Joker to use the Normandy's cannons to keep the Collectors away, I yelled "Alright, Joker! Gimme some firepower!" Cue the pilot leaning out the airlock with a freakin' assault rifle! I'm glad nobody else was around, cos I practically whooped "Joker, you MagnificentBastard!" * on Horizon, when I saw Ash immbolizied by the swarms, I kinda entered into a Roaring Rampage of Revenge, and when I replayed the game, I brought my friend to that mission: Mr. M-76 Reverenant LMG. It was awesome, and especially cool seing how I played a Renegade Male Shep, who was a Ass to all in the first game, save for Ash who he was sweet to almost every time he chatted with her. * This troper was doing Jacob's loyalty mission on an Insanity playthrough. The numerous weak mechs were getting annoying to say the least, at one point, this troper forgot that a number of mechs spawned at a certain point and got ambushed. Shepard's shields plummeted as I hurried towards cover and burnt away the armor on the mechs. Almost dead and with only two mechs left, this troper suddenly remembered that he had Jacob's biotics. So, in a moment of desperation, used Jacob's pull on the furthest mech. Said mech went flying through the air, hitting the other mech and slamming the other mech into a wall, killing it. The explosion of the dying mech killed the pulled mech, leaving this troper speachless as his shields and health regenerated from a sliver. Um... ExactlyWhatIAimedAt? * I have two. One was Legion's loyalty mission, as I ethicly debated with myself what I was going to do, as I had no idea until I thought of what Legion and the actual "Geth" had suffered through from both the Quarians and the heretics. I wasn't going to prolong that so I turned them back to normal. And the second, which was also a CrowningMomentOfSadness for me, was when I faced off against HumanReaper. After telling TIM to piss off, and an unloyal Miranda agreeing with me, I finally respected her as a valued member of the team. And then, when the collector ship was collapsing after the fight, I paniced when I barely saved Mordin, and then I saw Miranda lying on the ground. I thought 'Well she's a strong lady, she'll make it, right?' The look Mordin and Shepard shared when they confirmed what

happened broke my heart. As a result, I'm now doing a second playthrough, mainly so that not one of my team has to die for a mistake I made early on (And to make it just like old times, Garrus and Tali will be my team). * Playing the first Game this Troper made the mistake of thinking the Shadow Broker as some sort of likable rouge. keeping the balance by trading information. Hell , I even gave him the Cerebus files cause I wanted to be on the Brokers good side. [[spoiler:Come [=ME2=] and Redemption not only did he assist the Collectors in trying to get my corpse. The Broker sold info that turned Thane in a widower and basicly turned my shy and naive lover Liara into a hardend survivor out for vengence. Props to Bioware for turning my assumptions on it's ear. I will be willing to pay extra for [=ME3=] if one of the missions include hunting down the little sellout.]] ** Er, you mean Liara, right? And yeah, [=ME2=] turns to the darker side of the Shadow Broker, but this troper believes that there's still more to this entity than meets the eye, and possibly Liara's loyalty mission/whatever in [=ME3=] will give you an option to persuade her to either to carry out her vengeance, or move forward with her life, much like with Garrus in [=ME2=]. *** In that case going to have to go Renegade. Just to avenge what happened to poor Thane [[spoiler: his wife killed and his son left without a mother.]] Hell I might even provide fire support to Liara if it comes to that. *** I'll provide fire support to Liara until we reach the Shadow Broker. Then I'll get out the [[PassThePopcorn popcorn]] I had Gardner pack before the mission, and just watch my girlfriend rip him to shreds with her mind. *** [[BrickJoke Make sure to bring a coffee cup!]] * This Troper found that he missed the quiet Dignity of Captain Anderson . No matter what he ended up , an Ambassador to an ungrateful council or butt monkey to jerkass Udina. He always seemed to carry himself with purpose and keep doing the best he could. Really , really hoping that either we can have him back on ship or finally get some real recognition. Because as Paragon he's your subsitute father figure , or Renegade one of the few Authority figures you respect. * Upon finishing her first (ridiculously Paragon) playthrough of [=ME2=], this troper realised how much she was looking forward to [=ME3=], simply because the political situation is going to be hilarious. The Alliance and the Council believe you to be a mildly unhinged attention whore who can't stop going on about Reapers, and oh look, here you come again, with yet ''more'' claims that can't be proven. And then there's the matter of your allies. A maverick Spectre backed up by geth? Gee, where have we seen ''that'' before? And that's before getting around to the issue of rachni, quarians and krogan. So tell me again, Shepard, about this huge threat to political stability that isn't...you know...''you''. ** That is absolutely hilarious, especially considering that, as Aria's henchman put: ''Things explode around you''. The Council probably thinks that all the destruction following after you is one giant XanatosGambit or some form of XanatosRoulette to try and restructure the galaxy... which it kinda is actually...

* {{@/Griffinhart}} again. So, I'm playing on Insanity. Beaten the main story and everything, just getting OneHundredPercentCompletion by doing side missions. I'm on my last one: Smuggled Cargo. On Normal, it was already pretty hard (3 YMIR heavy mechs, destroying 20 crates? FFFUUU). On Insanity? I was dreading this mission. But I [[{{@/Determinator}} steeled my resolve]] and swore I'd keep all 20 crates from being destroyed. I went into the mission with Garrus (Overload) and Tali (Energy Drain), plus... [[{{BFG}} the Cain]]. With enough energy for two shots. "Enough for 2 of 3, right?" Well, it turns out that if you continue to hold the trigger for the Cain after firing the first shot, the second shot doesn't have a charge time which means with some skill, you can actually put out two Cain rounds in about two seconds, after charging the first. It ''also'' turns out that, if you somehow manage to destroy the first two YMIR mechs in Smuggled Cargo fast enough, the third one doesn't spawn. That, or my two ridiculously well-placed Cain shots managed to [[BeyondTheImpossible take out all three mechs about ten seconds after landing on the planet]]. Insanity, Smuggled Cargo, all 20 crates undamaged. Hell. Yeah. * There are many major moments that are easy to fall in love with within this series. However, I would share two nuances that are examples of how the game keeps your interest well-stoked: When, in [=ME1=], I had foolishly run ahead and was being slaughtered by a krogan berserker, suddenly Kaidan's alarmed voice cried out "Commander!" as he rushed forward to help his lady out. Also, in [=ME2=], when in a confrontation with some uppity Batarians, all I had to do was spout some tough language, and my squad members whip out their guns, ready to back me up to the end. =^_^= ** Also: Garrus romance FTW. That is all. ** Are you implying that Tali's romance isn't, in fact, FTW? [=ManSheps=] everywhere take offense to that! [[{{@/Griffinhart}} This Troper]] hasn't audibly cooed over a fictional character like Tali since... well, this troper hasn't cooed, ever. And then Tali came along. ** [[{{@/MagnusRyujin}} This Troper]] completely agrees with the guy who wrote the above. Granted, I've never cooed nor do i even know what that would sound like, but I still agree that Tali's Romance is made of win. *** I don't know why but out of any character, Tali is my favourite. Tali and Garrus...I really didn't like anyone in [=ME2=] save for Thane and Legion (Kickass assassin and an interesting insight into the geth side of the war). She's just...awesome. A bit of everything: sarcasm, humour, tiny bit of sass, great hips... * Tropers/{{biznizz}} here. Like many people, I didn't really emote for the fallen Jenkins in the first game, mainly because he literally dies in the first 15 minutes (but I still acted like it was a big deal). But then in ME 2, after I got Mordin and had the drink with Dr. Chakwas and hearing the story with Jenkins and Kaiden's accidental biotic accident (which surprisingly hit hard since the two of them were dead in my Shep's playthrough), I went to get Garrus. As Shepard and team were leaving the recruiting area, some Omega punk tried to [[IronicEcho get some action]] with the gangs after you. Normally,

you'd expect the scene to end there, but for some reason, Shepard gets a dialogue tree. That's when it hit me: this punk ''was'' Jenkins, a Jenkins who grew up in [[WretchedHive Omega]], instead of Eden Prime and one who had never joined the Alliance. Even though it was ''easy'' to just ignore him, it just didn't seem ''right.'' So when Shepard saved the fool from a near certain death in the cross fire, it literally felt like Shepard had a second chance to do something he had [[MyGreatestFailure failed to do in the first game: save Jenkins from an untimely death.]] Whoa. ** Dude, you might actually be onto something with that Omega Kid. After reading that, I loaded a save I made before the recruiting to hear the kid's voice, then i booted up [=ME1=] and talked to Jenkins at the start of the game. Holy. Crap. FridgeBrilliance abounded! the Omega Kid has the same voice actor as Jenkins! ** Jenkins was ironically named, considering that he died following Shepard's orders and behaving like a regular soldier. That kid on Omega, though, certainly deserves the title. I let him come with me on my (only) Renegade playthrough: [[spoiler: Garrus headshots him the second he goes over the barricade]]. If you break his gun, he later sends you an email thanking you for it. ''That'', ladies and gentlemen, is why Paragon is better than Renegade. :) *** You are aware that going down the Paragon or Renegade route doesn't forbid you from taking an action of the other path, right? I've played through [=ME2=] several times now as both a Paragon and Renegade, and taken many Renegade/Paragon interrupts respectively in each. Being a badass AntiHero doesn't preclude you from [[PetTheDog petting the dog]] now and then. **** I am. That playthrough was more-or-less Shepard the Space Douche, with me taking all the Renegade options. * Ok, this troper can't be the only one who when he heard that Tali and Garrus were the two ME and [=ME2=] party members went back and while on my level 60 do absolutely everything in the game play though pretty much ONLY used Tali and Garrus. In my play though the Trinity of Shepard, Garrus, and Tali was only broken when I had to take someone else on the mission.[[DidYouJustPunchOutCthulhu The three of us have punched out mecha-cluthlu twice together.]] If they let us us Tali and Garrus in [=ME3=], they should have an achievement for running though all three games with Tali and Garrus as your two primary Squad Members. ** They won't. Bioware devs have stated that, due to Microsoft policy regarding achievements, you can't have one that's impossible to get without buying another game. The closest thing you can have are achievements that have multiple paths, like the Long Service Medal (Complete two playthroughs of Mass Effect 2, or complete Mass Effect 2 with an imported character.). Sorry. ** I used Tali/Wrex through [=ME1=], and Tali/Zaeed mostly in [=ME2=]. My only real problem with Garrus is he's extremely fragile. He's pretty much a GlassCannon. * This troper was playing through the first game again with a new character to make sure he did ''everything'' possible as well as finished every quest to his satisfaction to import into the second game, having played through the whole game several times and done

every mission at least once, this wasn't anything special. This troper had decided to romance Ashley, but (assuming Shepard's logic), send the higher ranking officer with the Salarians on Virmire. When given a choice between love intrest plus already mostly dead marines plus essentially unstoppable nuke versus a biotic engineer ''officer'' and at least one entire team of STG that could cooberate my story with the Council, I had Shepard make the choice of Kaiden over Ashley, the logical choice despite romancing her. I felt nothing when I made the choice because it was just one more time I'd done the mission, just another time I chose one loveable fictional character over another. Then I saw the cutscene where Ashley, ''a solider'', fends off Geth with her ''pistol'' while wounded and propped up against a ''20 megaton nuclear device'' about to go off and watching her only escape, ''the place that had been her home for the past two/three months'', fly off, and then she '''keeps shooting the Geth'''. Then this troper went down to the engineering deck to finish up several small things and change around equipment and saw the empty spot where Ashley had worked the entire game and it really, seriously hit this troper like a brick to the face. She was gone. [[KilledoffforReal Dead.]] Ashley Williams was dead, Shepard would never again hear her voice, would never get to hear her quote poetry to him, never make another snide remark, Shepard would never spout cheesy lines to make her smile or laugh, they'd never even kissed, just flirted and danced around the topic... and she was gone. [[UnstoppableRage Anger began to well up in this troper.]] Then, after going through the entire 'the Normandy is grounded' bullshit with Udina, this troper, who had been paragon through the entire game had seriously felt like putting a round in Udina's back, but the worst part was when, instead of [[AlmostKiss the usual scene]], Joker contacted a brooding Shepard leaning up against his locker. [[TranquilFury This tropers fury as he went through Illos and the assault on the Citadel was righteous in the Biblical sense of the word]] * I recently finished off my last incomplete playthrough of [=ME1=]. My sister walked in and noticed me importing Analise Shepard - a rutheless, aggressively pro-human, so-renegade-it-hurts hardass bitch - into [=ME2=]. Her reaction - "Oh God, This is going to be bad, isn't it? People are going to die." * This troper while playing as a renegade Shepard got to Ilos, and well, the mako was already a little damaged. After the cutscene, the timer started and escaping the citadel(part of it) started playing. With 10 seconds on the clock, this troper made it through, with the Mako almost destroyed(1 more hit and it would be CMF), on Insanity. * This Troper's 9 year old brother decided he wanted to play Mass Effect after watching me and so bought it for his xbox. The result was horrific. I could tell this wasn't going to be the most glorious playthrough ever when he picked adept for the "cool biotics" and then proceeded to play as though he was a soldier - charging into battle and [[ATeamFiring blindly firing an assault rife.]] In order to mitigate his very frequent deaths (on the ''easiest difficulty'', no less) he spent his skill points maxing out the "basic armour" skill,

at the cost of any charm/intimidate points [[WhatAnIdiot or any biotic powers whatsoever.]] But this isn't the worst part, a crappy gimped character, I can live with. What hurt me was his utter ''slaughtering'' of the role-playing element. Despite telling me he wanted to be a "good guy" (which I assume meant Paragon) he lazilly skipped through any dialogue, always picking the neutral option. No paragon points, no renegade points. Half way into the main story and his Shepard is pathetic. A complete tool. The absolute worst part was Feros, though. Accepting the gas grenades to neutralise the colonists he proceed to use all of his grenades knocking out ''two'' colonists. The rest of them he slaughtered. And it wasn't even a solemn "I have no choice" slaughter. He ''laughed''. He ''[[KickTheDog laughed as he punched an innocent Salarian in the face]] and [[MoralEventHorizon unloaded a round into his back]]''. Not even Renegade Shep is that sadistic. ** Not even ''Saren'' is that sadistic. Still, I'm curious how Gimpy Shepard will fare in Mass Effect 2 & 3. ** KidsAreCruel. Even through my Renegade playthrough, I didn't threaten Salarians. They look too...fragile. And I refused to hurt citizens. EvenEvilHasStandards. * On my most recent playthrough of [=ME2=] (as a Renegade Inflitrator [=FemShep=]), I whittled down [[spoiler: the Human-Reaper]] to just over half health and then hit it with the Cain, meaning that it had approximately one hitpoint left. I then used the incinerate power on it, which proceeded to arc around and hit it in the eye. That's right. [[CherryTapping I killed a Mecha-Chthulu with the Incinerate power.]] Awesome. * This troper played [=ME1=] when [=ME2=] just released, and heard about the trailers saying that Shepard is dead at the beginning of [=ME2=]. As a result, I was sure that Shepard died at the end of the first game. Remember the scene at the end when everyone believes that Shep is dead, complete with sad music ? This troper really believed Shep was gone. Try to imagine my reaction when that was not the case. * This troper had a playthrough that made me personally go through significant character development. I played Mass Effect 1 before [=ME2=] came out and finished it a few days after [=ME2=] was released. Renegade Earthborn Ruthless Vanguard. I was always a renegade for most of the choices, but ended up going paragon for some of the big ones. I saved the rachni, and saved the council. All in all nothing was that big a deal. I sacrificed Ashley because she didn't like aliens and damnit I thought every alien I've met is so cool, from those sweet elcor to the cute little volus who were the second and third aliens Ive seen after the turians. But otherwise for [=ME1=] I killed people who were trying to beg for their life, unless I was really sure they would repent, like the old lady who you see on as a social worker in [=ME2=]. Then I started playing [=ME2=], and really started feeling that my actions had consequences. Again, I was mostly renegade, except for Tali who I romanced, but I started to lean more towards paragon options. I really felt a big sting during Garrus loyalty mission. I let him shoot the guy in the leg, and my first thought wasn't "Awesome Garrus!", it was "Damn, man. He'll be fine I guess." Then when we got to Sidonus, I tried to stop him once but let

him shoot him. I felt, really bad. I actually replayed that section just to see how things played out differently, something I never do, and realized that letting him live was better for Garrus. But I stuck with my decision and kept going. The last mission I did was with Zaeed. I wasn't going to download him my first playthough, but I thought "I really will need all the help I can get on this mission." I initially took the paragon option for his quest, since I had a full renegade score but also had 4.2/5 paragon bars filled. They weren't filled enough. I wasn't able to save the people and keep Zaeed loyal. I had no choice, I had to redo the section and kill Vido. The sound of that scientist begging for help. It haunted me. I was all ready to go for the suicide mission, everyone loyal and whatnot, but I thought about fixing my scars. I bought the setup, went down to the medbay, and didn't do it. I just looked at my stats, saw my scars, and how that paragon bar was nearly there but the renegade still overpowered it. I thought to myself. "I'm keeping these scars. I don't want to forget the horrible things I've done." I did the mission, everyone got through alright, but I ended up keeping the Collector base. When I got back, everyone thought I was wrong. I felt so bad, I felt like I didn't earn their trust. I said right there, "Okay you know what? This is my bad playthrough. I'm doing this shit over. I'm sticking to my renegade roots, but damnit this time I'll be Paragon enough to save everyone who needs it and renegade enough to still be a badass. I'm waiting for Kasumi to be released, and then I'll start my playthrough again. I don't know what decisions I'll make differently (I stopped Mordin from killing the salarian and kept the cure, and reprogrammed the geth), but I know it will be for the better, I hope. * [[{{SugarWiki/witchdoctor}} This troper]] found this entire game to be quite enjoyable but the one moment that really sealed the deal was the end speech by Harbinger. It's at this point that I realized that the Reapers are [[IncrediblyLamePun collectively]] pissed and want Shepard's head on a pike. TakeThat, Reapers! And you said that organics were unworthy of notice. * It's a small thing, but I really enjoyed finding and reading Pressly's journal. The last entry where he mentions being willing to die for any member of the crew, regardless of what world they were born on... It always makes me happy to see that, after how much he disliked the aliens in the beginning. * You know what Mass Effect made me realise about science fiction? For years I've just accepted it as a given that Vulcan or Klingon should be capitalized, and now Mass Effect made me realize that, strictly speaking, they're just species names; no more worthy of capitalization than cow or platypus or human. Now, every other piece of science fiction with alien species just bugs me. ** I had that same epiphany before Mass Effect actually came out and went with it, but I've since had another: you have to consider that a lot of sci-fi names are demonyms, which usually ''are'' capitalised. I could say humans are Earthlings, for example, and my meagre Star Trek knowledge tells me that Vulcans are actually from Vulcan, so it applies there. It seems fair to just pick with a system and go with it, since there'd be a mix of both otherwise. Still bugs me in fantasy stories, though, as "Elf" is rarely a demonym...

*** Note that no species is named after their home world in this setting, so we never actually hear a demonym. Batarians are from Khar'Shan, krogan are from Tuchanka, quarians are from Rannoch, asari are from Thessia, turians are from Palaven. If you want to call them Khar'Shanians, Tuchankans, Rannochians, Thessians, and Palavese, ''then'' it'd be capitalized. * This troper found himself with a crush on Tali while romancing her, mostly due to playing through the first game with her by his side the whole way, and the absolutely adorable babbling and blushing. On top of that, reuniting with Wrex (the other [=ME1=] party member) made him want to high-five the screen in joy at seeing him again. There was also minor heartbreak at the lack of the Mako; This troper LOVED driving it around over hill and dale and crater, with the Conduit being a CMOA due to having wanted to drive the Mako through the Presidium since he first saw the thing. * So I made this armor. And it might just be the most badass armor ever. It's black, like the deep black at the end of the spectrum, and it's shiny. I forget which material shiny, but it's shiny, trust me. It's got green trim and purple stripes on it. I love it because I feel like if I were to walk into a room with a blacklight while wearing it, it would look sweet. It would make looking at your sneakers while walking through the Tunnel of Love look like nothing. It would make looking at your felt unicorn picture under your 3.99 blacklight for the first time feel like looking at a dumpster for the first time. ** [[Tropers/AkasoRekaso I've]] gotta say, after a page of people talking at length about how they played the game slightly differently than everyone else and/or who their space waifu was, this entry about how awesome your custom armor is was a breath of fresh air. Everyone should start talking about their custom armor. Mine's dark purple with green trim, with the Death Mask equipped. Shit's so gaudy, it goes right past awful and right back around to awesome. ** I don't know who decided to equip their squad with hot-pink armor, but I just realized anyone who wears hot pink must have no fear at all. ** Lets see... In the first Mass Effect I take down Thresher Maws on Insanity with Pistols and no team support, laugh in the face of hordes of husks as I blast them with my boom stick, and fight multiple Geth Primes and Collosi on foot, all the while screaming "Glory to the God Emperor!". I also wear the Light Phoenix armor (the hot pink/white armor) all the time and redub every line Shepard speaks in the game with a slight lisp in my head. THEN the second game rolled around and this troper chose the hot pink armor with purple stripes and proceeded to do another insanity playthrough. ** This troper's armour is usually black and blue for paragon characters and black and red for renegade characters. However, upon seeing the squad's new loyalty outfits, this troper decided to change Shepard's armour to black and gold to fit in with the rest of the squad. ** This troper's [[http://chaos.brokenmirror.net/~amackenzie/images/Mass%20Effect/QoSnR.jpg armor]] starts interstellar wars. ** This troper's first playthrough was with the mostly Paragon

Earthborn Sole Survivor Sanguinus Shepard, who [[Warhammer40000 naturally]] wore dark red armor with black trim. He also found out that having the Death Mask equipped while armor is red and trim is black results in a Shepard who bears a striking resemblance to Deadpool. His second playthrough, however, was with the Renegade Colonist Ruthless Shayera Shepard, who I played as a "reasonable Renegade" (harsh to enemies and batarians, tough on crime, and always looking for an advantage, but nice to her crew). Upon waking up from the destruction of her ship and the death of (as far as she knew) all her crew, her new armor was the simply all black save for a single stripe of white on the arm in remembrance of everyone who died on the original Normandy (white = mourning in Chinese culture. This troper is Chinese.) * First time I'm playing ME 2, I've avoided all spoilers once the game came out, and was impoarted a [=ME1=] character who was a total renegade to all but Ash. In real life, Ash is very clsoe in terms of personality and appearance to a girl that I really love. So when I got to Horizon and saw Ash being immobilized by the Collector's swarms, my mind went:" Ash+ Collector swarm= Ash death?" because I had avoided all spoilers, I was sure that they would've killed her off as a plot twist, and then I entered a very brief Heroic BSOD, followed up by a Roaring Rampage of Revenge on the Collectors. I then followed up by exterminating the enitre Collector race, just to show that you don't mess with Ash. Tell me that's not love! * First playthrough of [=ME2=], I'm going through the colony getting pillaged by the reapers and trying to boot up the defense towers, I prove that I'm perfectly capable of casual danger dialogue when it's happening in game form. -->'''EDI''':''I now have control of the towers'' -->'''Me/Shepard'''* while getting shot at from three places, including a Harbinger vessel* : ''How much control do you have, EDI? Because I'm [[IncrediblyLamePun Assuming direct control!]]'' ** I'm not even sure that makes sense. * I started up a new ME playthrough a while ago, choosing a custom male character by basically just messing with the sliders until I found something I liked. About a third of the way into the game, my dad pointed out that said character looked almost exactly like Conrad Verner. Somehow this makes Conrad ''even more of a creep than before.'' That's impressive. * I can't second most of the love on this page, but it's precisely ''because'' this game made me care about its characters. I heard that if you didn't import a saved game, major characters like Wrex would be dead. I paid twenty dollars to buy a new copy of the first game (my original was on a computer that is no longer functional due to a virus), and I played all the sidequests and took almost all the paragon choices. Then I heard that in the second game, nobody was quite sure what you had to do to keep your characters alive through the suicide mission, but it involved getting all the ship upgrades and doing all the loyalty missions. I decided to go a few steps further to be absolutely certain to save everyone, so I scanned more planets than I can count to get the resources for all the upgrades of all types, and I played every sidequest until long after they stopped being fun,

and I even checked all the planets for those sidequests that only appear if you scan some out-of-the-way, unmarked place. I saw a comment on this wiki that after the suicide mission was unlocked, you could only do two sidequests before "game-changing events," so I did everything I could before I unlocked the mission, but I didn't unlock Legion's loyalty quest until after the suicide mission was unlocked. I figured, "Oh well, they said I have two quests. I'll do this one, and I'll go straight there, and I'll be able to save ''everyone''!" I got there, and I saw that cutscene where the ship's psychiatrist dies horribly and dies screaming, and the ship's doctor called me out for not getting there sooner. I quit the game and have not played it since. Yet the thing is, I have to admit that it's a great game, or else I would have just shrugged it off. Maybe it's because the knowledge that I could have done better, combined with the fact that I did almost everything right when there were so many pitfalls to avoid, gave the experience a feel of "neener-neener-neener" that's lacking in games like ''ValkyrieProfileCovenantOfThePlume'' where every path gets someone killed. ** A tip if you ever pick it up again: [[spoiler:Do everything before the IFF, pick up Legion, talk to him immediately and get his loyalty mission, ''do it right away'', then your crew will get abducted. '''Do the suicide mission right away''', otherwise the crew ''will'' die.]] ** In this troper's experience. [[spoiler: Going off to mine for hours is okay, but doing missions causes the plot to move on, and thus, the crew to die.]] ** I am planning to play [=ME2=] in a sort of TheChessmaster way: take all of the key personnel on the mission and not even recruit the nonessentials, then see how it goes. I guess playing without Mordin would be an interesting challenge - you could still access upgrades in the Shadow Broker's lair. Though I'm not sure if your teammates would be keen on giving you the upgrades in the first place... But if it works, that means you can still do things like visiting Jack's recruitment mission with Legion. * While everyone agrees that Garrus's and Tali's Loyalty Missions are awesome, This Trooper would like to state that his absolute favourite was Mordin's. I fell in love with the character within minutes of meeting him and spent a great deal of time talking to him and taking him on most missions, I thought he was just ridiculously cool comic relief with a badass edge, and was pleasantly surprised when they managed to pull off such a incredibly deep and well executed story. Maybe its because Im in the medical profession myself, but I found the drama and Mordins ethics and code, and his remorse and pain in spite of them immensely compelling. First of all the fact it takes place in an AbandonedHospital, even a Krogan one, is awesome by default. The initial resistance was nothing special, and I was dutifully Charging Vorcha and Varren, when we came across the human corpse. That wouldnt be anything special in the ME verse with slavers and all, but the fact he had restraint wounds and had been effectively tortured to death with medical experiments was actually jarring, plus the disgust for what had happened in Mordins voice was evident (Massive props to Mordin's VA throughout this mission, who manages to not only pull off his usual manic intelligence and subtle bad-assery -

as well as give him a awesome singing voice - but that he also takes the character through eleven different kinds of pain and suffering without compromising his's mannerisms or personality as well, especialy given how complex and rapid Mordin's dialogue can be, is nothing short of brilliant). We moved on to the Weyrloc Clanspeaker and his bodyguards, and I was mentally just thinking yeah, yeah, typical Krogan threats, blah blah. Then he let out his vicious, piles of children that never lived! line, which unnerved the hell out of me. It didnt help that I came inches away from dying in the following fight. We moved on to the mutilated Urdnot Scout, and seeing how in his desperation to make a difference and save his people he allowed himself to be experimented on, justifying it as a necessary sacrifice to save all Krogan, and how brainwashed and twisted he'd been made was was another slap to the face. I managed to regain some composure by convincing him to leave, (howling in fury all the while lol), then moved on to the medical records, and the dialogue that ensued. More fascinating insight into the process of the creation and justification of the geneophage, with Mordin pointing out that they could have just as easily killed all the Krogan if they wanted and the amount of effort they took to get the desired result, and his forcefulness that all life is precious. Plus his emphasis that despite knowing for certain that the genophage was necessary how he couldnt sleep some nights because of it, and drifted to Omega to use his last decade to heal people as some balm to his conscious. Then we hit what in my opinion is the best executed scene in the game outside the Suicide Mission, the dead Krogan female. The way Mordins eyes and voice just go dead at the sight of her was a punch to the gut for me. Then his brief prayer was just as shocking in a different way. Plus as I play a near-completely Paragon Shep (With a everybody gets ONE chance mentality which came back to bite me in the ass a several points but thats a different story), I felt compelled to ask all the hard questions and felt damn near physically ill at the way Shepard absolutely rails at the devastated Mordin, outright calling him a murderer. The most common response in fiction there would be for the Mordin character to break down and admit he was wrong and immediately announces his attentions to atone, but Bioware are the industry leaders in storytelling for a reason. Cue Mordin fighting back, despite being utterly defeated by the suffering hes helped to cause, and they way he refuses to be blamed for the brutal nihilism of it all, but not a stereotypical I did the right thing! moment, but a genuinely remorseful there was absolutely NO other choice. And his haunting, Not guilty. But responsible. line, I cant remember offhand, the last time I was so emotionally effected by a character in a videogame. At the climax, I chose to save Maelon, but after agonising over it for ages, I eventually chose to keep the data. Then we got back to the Normandy and Mordin was fine again. Ugh. But despite this and the one or two other flaws, this was easily my favourite part of the game outside the suicide mission. The atompsphere, the dialogue, the way it finally made the devestation and desperation of the genophage hit home for me, the bland routine combat is the only thing that takes away from it. And Im praying that Mordin returns [=ME3=] so we can follow the thread to its inevitable

conclusion. * After discovering [[NiceJobBreakingItHero the mess that eliminating that accursed Council causes]], and the HighOctaneNightmareFuel that results from [[TakeYourTime taking your time]] about rescuing your crew, I decided I'd run a new game, starting at the original Mass Effect, with a single goal: EverybodyLives. To ensure this, I decided in all interactions I would imitate, as best as possible [[Series/DoctorWho the only man in the cosmos capable of pulling something like that off]] in a [[CrapsackWorld Crapsack Galaxy]] like Mass Effect's. I am beginning to wonder if the Doctor was an influence of the Paragon path... insofar as a BadassPacifist ''can'' influence a soldier who, by definition, had to do a lot of killing. * Anybody else jump out of their chair the first time they heard the Overlord VI's shrieks? ** I didn't jump... somehow, I understood EXACTLY what the VI was saying. "Oh...no. Oh dear god, please no. Please don't let it be what I'm thinking it is." It was. Punching that bastard Archer at the end was IMMENSELY satisfying. *** PistolWhipping him is even better and that's a Paragon response. ** I did jump the first time. Then I went to my sound card's audio options and turned on SVM. No more jumping after that! * I was about to be killed by one of the YMIR mechs on Garrus' loyalty mission when he [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome gets a headshot on the one that was about to kill me. I hid, and the resulting explosion destroyed the other as well.]] * Me and my crew recently pulled a string of funny/awesome moments in a battle in Mordin's loyalty quest. First, I was just walking around randomly, looking for a path, when suddenly three rockets were flying straight towards me. I dodged all of them by randomly zig-zagging between them yelling "wow, wow, wow!" and proceeded to cripple the guy with my SMG. Next, an off-sight Krogan was about to attack me, I noticed him right next to me when Mordin froze him and Grunt tackled him, shattering his body. Finally, when I turned around, I noticed a Varren about to claw me and I punched it in the face before unloading a full clip of locust in his ass. I may suck at FPSes and play in the easiest difficulty because I care more about the dialogues, but I like pulling randomly awesome stunts, especially when my teammates do it with me. * This may be a bit over-the-top, or sound like an exaggeration, but I firmly believe that the romance option between [=MaleShep=] and Tali is the most romantic, and touching in an "aww" way that I've ever seen in a game romance. ** No, it isn't. You are absolutely right. [[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming It was one of the most heartwarming romances in the game,]] alongside Thane's. * [[{{@/Joerc45}} This troper]] took one of those "personality tests" based on which character I am like the most, and I got Liara T'Soni. It didn't suprise me in the slightest. Which leads to my next point, why wasn't she made recruitable in [[MassEffect2 ME2?!]] :( On a more [[BlatantLies serious note,]] I managed to save everyone on my 2nd playthrough, but was a little disappointed I took the [[AntiHero Renegade]] path that time. O_O

** Simple. They were saving her for DLC. http://masseffect.bioware.com/ *** Also, Meet Raine, a {{Perky Goth}} {{Pale Skinned Brunette}} Female Paragon Shepard who's an Infiltrator extraordinaire! [[http://www.photoshack.com/displayimage.php?album=lastup&cat=0&pos=0] ] **** Another point I really loved was when I went back and completed Mass Effect 1 with a Female Shepard and [[LesYay romanced Liara,]] and imported that character to Mass Effect 2. I was not expecting her to be on the Normandy at the beginning of the game, and it broke my heart when I realized the poor, sweet Asari just lost the love of her life! T_T Or so everyone thought. It made the reunion with her on Ilium all the more satisfying, as she's trying to avenge her lover by tracking down a sordid broker who tried to sell her corpse! * I can't be the only troper who, when asked to pick a tech specialist to be sent into a tube/pipe, flashed to [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bishop_%28Aliens%29 Bishop's]] quite CMOA "I'll go" and sent in Legion. * Krogans are one of my favorite races ever. Complete and total badasses who let nothing get in their way of victory. Then I saw the homeworld. A derelict planet where everyone lives underground in camps. This did three things: made me think of the Krogans as even bigger badasses for just surviving, hate the Genophage even more, and at the same time go "My God. [[WarIsHell War really is hell.]]" Seeing Wrex put down another clan leader pushed the gloomy thought into the back of my head. With Grunt's loyalty mission, I talked to the Shaman like I was supposed to. Up until this point, I had been a complete Paragon, never choosing the Renegade path ever in either game. When the Krogan started talking down to Grunt, I was pissed as hell and hit the Renegade trigger literally screaming '''"SHUT THE''' '''[[PrecisionFStrike FUCK]]''' '''UP!"''' It was even more satisfying killing him after Renegading at every chance. Then I used lift and punched him to death. No honor in dying like a crippled child. * Where do I start... 3 agony, 3 ecstasy. Agony #1. The entire opening sequence, watching the SR-1 Normandy (Never forget!) get obliterated by the Collector vessel, and watching the mighty, heroic, symbol of all the races, pride of humanity, Shepard get sucked out and into the vaccum and flay helplessly. Then watching the Collector vessel float away. Agony #2. Running into Old Friends a short while later. Firstly Tali. She was my favorite character and once the shock of seeing the dead back wore off, there was no big "Oh you're alive let's go! Whoo!" but was instead met with a certain degree of hostility. Later Kaiden, for a similar reason. The rejection by an old friend. Agony #3: Part of why I loved Tali was I thought her voice over work was incredible for a game, and the way Liz Sroka voiced Tali after finding her dead father aboard the station was so jarring I -almost- forgot to hug her and get the paragon point. Now... The Ecstasy. Ecstasy #1: Reunions. We got you the best pilot we could find, the reunion between Joker & Shepard.A friend who was 2/3's of the way through the game was at my house "coaching" me through certain parts. I told him in no small terms, "no <deleted> spoilers." while I was trying to recruit Archangel, I was half-listening to the friend and in question talk

about the mission and he goes "That's where you find Garrus" but I only heard "That's where...rrus" so when I ran into the apartment to find Garrus I was ovverjoyed to say the least. Ecstasy #2: First strike against the Collectors, Horizon. I remember cackling hideously, "You thought I was dead didn't ya? Thought you got rid of Shepard didn't ya? It's gonna take more then what you're packing to take me out! Who's ready to die?!? Step right up, got enough bullets for all'ya!". Ecstasy #3 was the entire suicide mission. I had scrounged and saved to make sure the Normandy 2 (I refuse to call it "The Normandy". The Normandy was destroyed by the Collectors, seemed sacrilege to name the new ship after it) was ready to face the bastards. Watching Joker fire up those guns and then turn that Collector ship into a steaming piece of wreckage. It was a tearjerker moment for this troper. The sweet taste of revenge, especially knowing that -they- knew that who it was piloting that ship. They know who was commanding it. And there wasn't a <deleted> thing they could do to stop it. Giving the crew the assignments and watching it as they got through, but the grand moment was when you get on the platforms taking you to the larvae. It can't be coincidince that my music player landed on Killswitch's Darkness Falls as the battle began, the song just matched the visuals and mood perfectly. The Revenant made quick work of that fiend, but it really came to a couple moments of beauty at the very end cutscene. Watching Shepard slide down a platform to grab Legion's hand was a touching moment given how many Geth Shepard had killed (and the distrust I had shown to Legion over being a Geth who had a negative opinion towards my love interest). Seeing it all work together just made Mass Effect 2 my favorite game in a long, long, time. * My (female) Shepard has always adopted an attitude of making use of anything and anyone who may be of benefit in the eventual fight with the Reapers, thinking that nothing could be worse then having the known galaxy purged of sentient life and tranformed into mechanical abominations. This, unsurprisingly, led to a character with a healthy Renegade streak. By the end of [=ME2=], however, she has now abandoned this attitude, and here is why: throughout the hunt for Saren in the first game, this attitude brought Shepard into conflict with quite a few people, most notably Ashley due to her xenophobia. It didn't help that she shot Wrex on Virmire because I hadn't been able to talk him down (I dislike using time travel to undo mistakes). Shepard then left Ashley to die during the destruction of Saren's base there directly because of this, which was an act of such pettiness I have regretted it ever since. After the original Council had been so obstructive and unhelpful throughout the game, when the time came she left them to die, justifying this on the (perhaps flimsy) grounds that the galaxy stood a better chance against the Reapers without them. Fast-forward to [=ME2=], and this attitude is still in effect. Shepard converts the heretic geth, saves the data from Mordin's loyalty mission, and commits numerous ethically questionable actions in order to give the people of the galaxy the best chance of survival against the Reapers. This cumulates in the decision to give the Collector base to the Illusive Man, the thinking being he can't possibly be worse then the Reapers. Afterwards, however, when Shepard is looking at the coffins

of the people who died during the assault (Jacob, Samara, Grunt, Jack, and worst of all Tali), she begins to question her "the ends justify the means" attitude held up to this point. The real epiphany comes when she holds the final conversation with a smug Illusive Man, who claims in response to what has driven Shepard up to this point: "It's not that easy...we need each other." It is this, combined with all that Shepard has lost to get this far, that causes her to realise what kind of creature her beliefs have led her into bed with, and she immediately severs ties with him. I then resolved to play Shepard as a Paragon in future DLC (Overlord being the start), and eventually [=ME3=], marking the shift in both my own opinion and hers: if the galaxy would stoop to doing anything, no matter how heinous, just to keep itself alive, then it ''deserves'' to be wiped out by the Reapers. My Shepard will save the galaxy alright, but she won't become a monster to do it. * After getting thoroughly sick of Harbinger and his posturing and speechifying on Horizon, on later encounters I made sure to use my trusty M-98 Widow sniper rifle to blow the head off any collector drone the very second Harbinger's possession animation started to play, denying him the chance to say even a single word beyond "[[{{Catchphrase}} Assuming Direct Control]]". It wasn't until later, when I returned to [=TVTropes=] that I realized this was my (and Shepard's) way of saying [[ShutUpHannibal Shut Up]] [[strike:Hannibal]] [[ShutUpHannibal Harbinger]] -- [=JustTheBast=] ** Seconded. This is just so, SO satisfying after all those Harbingers put you through at first. Even on some of the harder difficulties, a Harbinger lasts through two squad powers to drain the barrier and one headshot with the Widow. --> Harbinger: Assuming Direct--(boom!) --> Harbinger: Assuming Dir--(boom!) --> Harbinger: STOP TH--(boom!) * This troper is intent on playing through the entire Mass Effect series using the first playthrough from each game only. No knowledge of what will happen that a second playthrough gives you, no doing everything possible to get the happiest ending cuz I saw how to on the internet. I want to ''feel'' and ''think'' like Shepard, with no idea of what the consequences will be, would, and I want the consequences to be the ones that would occur if you are forced to make such splitsecond decisions. In [=ME1=], Wrex got killed by Ashley, then Ashley (my male Shepard's love interest), dies in that nuke. ''Then'', I choose not to romance Liara, make Anderson human rep. to the council, and make my Shepard the paragon of niceness, not cuz I want to be on the polar end of the good/bad scale, but cuz I did, throughout the game, what I thought was right. Skip the [=ME2=]. I romance Tali, I do all the loyalty mission, upgrade my Normandy, and I do the suicide mission with only Thane and Mordin dying. ''Then'', my paragon character leaves the Reaper base for Cerberus, after Garrus tell me if I blow it up, all the people who died there will have died for nothing, and at least we will get some knowledge from it if we leave it for Cerberus. So, am I an idiot for not goin back, and perfecting and tweaking the game to get the best, happiest ending, or is it a good idea to play through the whole series with my split-second

decisions I have made since [=ME1=] affecting the game? ** Not in the least bit, sir. My first time around in [=ME1=], I let the council die to take out Sovereign. I have yet to play through with that character. This troper (full of derp that he is) also kind of regrets deleting my first [=ME2=] save, where I spared the collector base (and let just about every member of my crew die). I have a series of "perfect" playthroughs with each gender, but I'm going to make sure that before [=ME3=] roles around that I go back to my first [=ME1=] save, and recreate my first [=ME2=] save to the best of my ability, just to accomplish what you describe. ** Exactly what I did, not all the same decisions mind you, but I played the game like a true RPG. The only time where I checked the extranet was the suicide mission, but only for the specialist choices. I didn't know about the final choice or the final boss till I saw them, none of the emotional impact was lost. *** I had no idea you could lose your crew if you WAIT to go after the Collectors. Fortunately, I STILL did the Loyalty missions before going after the IFF even on my first playthrough. Sadly, I used Thane for the duct-crawling (hello! ASSASSIN! You'd think he could handle it) so I did manage to lose someone in the suicide mission. The guy who was already dying. * A darkly humorous bit of FridgeLogic from my current "main": I finished the game before any of the post-release DLC came out, and lost Jacob on the collector base. Thus, Kasumi never met Jacob. But the love haiku was still there in the Shadow Broker's files. * You know that boss fight everyone bitches about with Vasir? What with all that use of her Charge ability? [[DrMcMinty I]] was a Vanguard playing on Hardcore. I'd maxed out that ability. Cue a hilarious five-minute-long biotically-enhanced game of Tag. -->'''Me''': ZOOM Tag! ZOOM Tag! ZOOM Tag! You're it! * This troper wrote a backstory for his MassEffect character that was just one big TearJerker. Rejected by her homophobic parents, she was ''forced'' into the Navy to try and straighten her up. The fact that she's a biotic didn't help either. When I was actually playing the game, she suffered from MoodWhiplash and went to save [[spoiler:Ashley and not Kaiden]] just so that {{PsychoLesbian she could have Liara.}} However, most of her decisions where paragon, but she focused [[spoiler:on pwning Sovereign rather than protecting the Council.]] In MassEffect2, she went full Renegade, and that will hopefully reflect in [=ME3=]. Having played her as a type-V AntiHero, I wrote her [=ME2=] stuff as getting tired of it all. [[spoiler: So I hope to get her into the Reapers.]] * This troper had a really, REALLY interesting experience involving his primary playthrough (A Male Earthborn/War Hero Infiltrator). Throughout both games, I had made decisions that I, myself would have made in any given situation. I did not end up romancing within the first game, because I didn't feel attached to them too much. Had a [[HeroicBSOD moment]]when Ashley died. I didn't punch out the reporter, I killed Balak because I was pissed, and other such acts I felt were appropriate to the situation. However, that was small potatoes compared to what I was going to experience between the transition between [=ME1=] and [=ME2=]. During the final battle of the

Citadel, when presented with the fateful decision of what to do with the council, I decided that removing any ships from the attack on Sovereign was secondary, since it was the biggest possible threat at the time. (A trillion lives, or then thousand?) So I told them to concentrate on Sovereign, feeling genuine remorse for the sacrifice of the Destiny Ascension, but hoping restoring the council with new, multi-species members would be enough to redeem myself. By the time of the second game, I was awestruck at the number of people ignored the fact that the council was restored, instead of letting the humans take over entirely. Programmer laziness or not, the game told me that it didn't care what I was thinking at the time. People HATED humans for letting the council die, and I was the one who caused it. There was no outlet to tell anyone otherwise, and I felt sorrow for what I had done. The turian at Rodam Expeditions telling me that he didn't approve of my kind made my heart ache for my entire visit to the Citadel. The entire experience had turned Malcolm Shepard, a 85% Paragon/30% Renegade, relatively pleasant man, into [[TheAtoner The Atoner]]. I was floored. * During my first playthrough of [=ME2=], my older brother (who had played the game before me) adamantly refused to talk about anything related to it for fear of spoilers. However, right after the crew was captured, he suddenly burst out that I needed to do the suicide mission right now. I was already geared up for a [[RoaringRampageOfRevenge Roaring Rampage of Revenge]] and didn't need to be told twice, but even so his sudden breech of his no-spoiler policy worried me and I made him promise not to say anything else. Then the suicide mission started and I was faced with the choice of who to send into the vent and who to lead the fire-team. I sat there for a good five minutes before asking if Tali and Jacob would be a good choices. They were, and I kept going. Then the second choice came up. Cue another five minutes of deliberation. Cue another question. Cue another correct selection (Samara). I proposed Garrus lead the fireteam, and my brother responded with an affirmative. Then came the escort choice. I just stared at the screen, unsure what the criteria were, what the consequences would be if I choose incorrectly. After another five minutes my brother chimed in that the remaining members had a chance of dying if their defense was too low. I suggested Jack as the weakest in this respect. He said Mordin. He was right, and knowing how close I came to sending my [[CrazyAwesome Crazy Awesome]] scientist to his death shocked me almost more so than his death would have. I kept going, and at the final choice asked who I should choose to ensure everyone lived. He told me there was no guarantee they would make it. I choose Jack and Tali and prayed my team could hold off the Collectors. After killing the Reaper Larva, my heart skipped a beat and when Jack nearly slid off the platform and just about stopped when Tali didn't move from under the rubble. Then she came to, Joker told me everybody had made it and all was well in the world. For about three seconds anyway. Then the seeker swarms and about 500 Collectors started shooting at me while the timer on the bomb was ticking down. Then the platforms to Normandy got crushed and Shepard jumped, and for those five seconds I thought that even after all the preparation, wise choices and surviving 3 to 4000 odds more times than I could count,

John Shepard was going to die. Then he grabbed onto the lip of the airlock, Tali pulled him up and the Normandy engaged its mass effect drive and jumped out of the galactic core, mission accomplished, nobody left behind. Even under the eye of a [=ME2=] veteran coaching me through the choices, the prospect of losing even a single member of my ragtag [[BandOfBrothers Band of Brothers]] no less gripping and terrifying, so massive props to Bioware for that. But props also to my brother, who spared me the anguish of losing the very model of a scientist salarian. Thanks Andy. * This troper always felt wierd at the endings. I played as a Paragade (nice at first but unhesitating to fight) but always chose the renegade endings because they seemed the logical endings. In [=ME1=] I thought "Soverign must die no matter the cost, I don't want that bitch following me to the sequel" and in [=ME2=] "the station might have data on the reapers so we can find weaknesses". Although you can bet I face-palmed when I found out in [=ME2=] the Alliance would have only lost 8 cruisers. I did end up choosing to destroy the collector station on my second playthrough though, after talking with Mordin about the effects of just taking a technology rather than developing it yourself would ultimately destroy you like it did the Krogan. And it had the added bonus of getting Tim to work for me. Really, I agreed with him, but if I wasn't getting access to all of Cerberus' resources (really, you spent billions ressurecting me, it's not gonna bankrupt you to buy me better gear and HIRE someone to spend hours mining you cheap bastard) when I have the goal saving all sentient life in the galaxy... well, lets just say it's time for a change in management. * Being a {{Fire Emblem}} fan, this troper refuses to let a character die during a game, because in FE, you can't bring them back. And then we get to Virmire... and even after being spoiled about it, resolving my decision ahead of time (because I'm one of the few people that actually LIKES Ashley, and her 'racism' is really only because of the stigma attached to her name), it still made me hesitate. It still stuck like hell, and I'm pledging to do everything to not loose anyone in [=ME2=]. Otherwise... I'd feel like I'd failed, really. ** Nice to know that at least 1 other person likes Ash. I swear, almost every other [=ME2=] player prefers someone else. High five! * This troper recently had a pretty wacky experience he wishes to share. I had abandoned [=ME2=] for a while. With a little more spare time at my disposal, I started a new game: "Well, it's been a while, The Vanguard really looks interesting, but maybe I should lower the difficulty for a few missions and get used to the gameplay. Insanity would just be frustrating." I was blasting my way through Vorcha and Krogan when my brother put on some music. There was a really, really weird timing. "I'm walking on sun..." ''BIOTIC CHARGE'' "...shiiiiine!" ''BLAM'' "Wo-ho!" "And it does..." ''PUNCH'' "FEEL GOOD!" ''BLAM''. I paused, chuckling, then I decided I would have fought that battle Fort Frolic ({{Bioshock}}) style. It was awesome, dancing around rockets and punching Vorcha in the face following the tempo, although I felt like some sort of psycho (killing other living beings and laughing out loud should never be present in the same sentence). Then, as the smoke cleared, I murmured: "You know what? I'd better raise the difficulty". Cue Shepard on a mountain of bodies, her

shotgun still glowing hot, wiping (someone else's) blood from her forehead and thinking: "Next time, eyes closed and hands tied behind my back." I restarted the mission on insanity. * This troper has three Shepards-- two always played neutral, the bastards, so I didn't import my initial [=ME1=] Paragade and was so frustrated with my [=ME2=] Renegon that I had to play again. The first one was male and apparently bi, because he fell hard for Kaidan. I was sure by media osmosis that Kaidan was a Gay Option, and the look on my face when I found out the Media Watchdogs had vetoed that? ''Fury.'' Then my [=ME2=] Shepard went for Tali so no problems there. Now my lesbian player fem!Shep really wants ''Ashley.'' ...Why? Why do you people ''cause me so much pain?'' * One of the best things I love about this series is that Shepard is essentially my dream character. The game lets me play on quite a few personal fantasies of mine. I don't normally play {{RPG}}s so I'm probably not the first to feel this way. Coming from a military background (No legacy in real life), he's already got a reputation as both a hero and a {{One Man Army}}, becomes a part of {{The Order}}, is open-minded and hates racism (one of my views), is "conservative." As in the Elcor kind, Shephard likes the established power structure. Beuracracy is a major thorn in his side, but that just means you put the people you want in office and trust them to be responsible (like Anderson), he gets an awesome starship and the freedom to go to other worlds with it,on that ship is his private force of Badass commandos with their own powers and skills to tackle whatever problems he deems worthy of their time, lastly, being a tactical and charismatic leader IS his superpower, beneath all the armor, biotics, gadgets, and weapons; Shepherd's greatest strength is his ability to know how to apply his and his allies capabilities to produce victory. * First, one of the funniest moments I've ever had playing Mass Effect involved Virmire, a Krogan, and Lift. -->Me: Wait, where did the charging Krogan go? -->Game: Geth communications have been disrupted. -->Me: Wait, what? -->Krogan: (Falls out of sky, having hit the communications array on his way down.) ::Secondly, I have gotten one of my friends to start playing Mass Effect. Said friend is a VERY thorough gamer- she will talk to EVERYONE and go through all the dialouge trees. She took such a shine to Jenkins, when she talked to him, that I just didn't have the heart to tell her what happens to him. She is also one of the few people I know of who picked "I feel bad about Jenkins" off the dialouge wheel and GENUINELY felt bad about Jenkins.: * I had a dream that I gave Mordin Solus a wedgie. I immeadietly apoligized, and we teamed up to stop the Collectors from blowing up a daycare center. It was fun. * I was confronting the Shadow Broker's assassin in "Lair of the Shadow Broker". Now, she uses something like the Vanguard's Charge ability. The catch? I was ''also'' a Vanguard. We played a game of cat and mouse for a while, her Charging away and me chasing her with another Charge. She has a charge-up attack where she hurls a biotic missile at you, so when I noticed her doing that, I'd wait until she

launched it and Charge ''straight through it''. When I got her down to armor, I noticed that punching her was doing more damage than my shotgun, so for I while I'd just Charge after her and punch her in the face. So we'd get stuff like... -->'''Assassin:''' (Charge away) This is true bio-->'''Me:''' (Charge up) I punch you in the face! ::I eventually remembered that heavy pistols do good damage to armor, so I whipped that out, but still. ''Best boss fight ever.'': * I was unfortunately led to believe that making squad members loyal would keep them alive during the final mission, and never realized that choosing the right people for the right mission was also important. I got a VERY rude wake up call when the [[WhatAnIdiot (unupgraded...stupid, stupid, stupid!)]] Normandy was attacked and first Jack, then Thane, then Tali were brutally killed. Next went Jacob. At that point I was - well, not happy, but I could stand those losses. I was upset about Thane and Tali, but figured the others could make it. Then I took Miranda for the biotics mission and brought Legion and Garrus, who's been my ''favorite'' since the first game, not to mention the guy I chose for the romance, along with me. I start getting worried when Miranda starts failing, reach the end...and then she drops and my Garrus is carried off by the swarms. I literally shouted "NO! No!" at the screen when I saw it, raged that it had to be him and not Miranda, who I never liked, and kept going. I sent Grunt to escort the hostages to safety, so he made it out safe. Samara was next to die and I left Miranda to hold the line, bringing Mordin and Legion to the end. At the point when a teammate starts sliding down the falling platform, I panicked, because Mordin was my second favorite, right after Garrus. Again, I yelled at Shepard(something along the lines of "SAVE HIM, DAMMIT, I ALREADY LOST GARRUS, NOT HIM TOO") and nearly collapsed when Shepard caught him. It was still depressing to see how few people survived to the end. I am, of course, planning a second playthrough to keep everyone. NoOneGetsLeftBehind, dammit. Mass Effect is the first game to get me *this* invested in the characters. * A minor one from my fourth playthrough. With Engineer Shepard on Insanity, I've gotten incredibly used to having to bail out squadmates. On the last portion of Miranda's Loyalty mission, I was pretty much backed into a corner. Kasumi was dead and Enyala was advancing on Miranda. Shep was retreating and managed to finish off a Vanguard with a sliver of health left. After taking cover, I finally noticed that Miranda was still alive. Not only alive, but she had actually managed to knock out Enyala's barrier and half her armor singlehandedly. After finishing off the remaining Mooks, I just decided to watch with pride as Miranda took her down. A major CMOA for Miranda. * In the beginning Mass Effect was never my game, My brother bought it but in the end it didn't quite gel with him so I gave it a shot, I had to restart my Save once, but it was for the better. I was an Infiltrator (I love the Sniper Rifles and tech powers) and I'm primarily a Paragon, I never romanced anyone since Ashley was Xenophobic and well... dead, and Asari just aren't my cup of tea. I was happy with all the choices I had made... but then came the big

one, the mother of all choices, do I leave the council to die or do I save them and risk thousands of lives. In the end I chose to kill the council for my own selfish reasons, thinking that they ahd obstructed me way too much and deserved to die. I ended the game, happy with my choice. Then came [=ME2=], I was loving it, it turned an already stellar game into what is now my favourite game ever. It was only when i got into the meat of the game that I felt the repercussions of my actions in the last game, seeing that I had made everyone's life a misery by doing away with the council and making myself seem like a Xenophobic git (Xenophobia being something I have no tolerance for). From that point on I made a solemn vow to always think about the repercussions for other people when making a choice and not make a decision for any selfish reasons. I had prepared the best i could for the Suicide mission, everyone was loyal (minus Zaeed, no way was I going to let those people die for that assholes own personal gain) and I had all of the upgrades necessary to survive. As the Suicide mission wore on, I whooped at the CMOA's that were happening ever 2 seconds and my heartstrings tugged at any moment that might be a characters death (I had become extremely attached to my crew) and to my pleasure, everyone survived. Then came the choice... Keep the Collector Ship or Destroy it... a part of me knew that the technology was wrong and shouldn't be kept but another part of me said that I should keep it fro the greater good. In the end i kept the ship, aware that the Illusive man could turn jackass at any moment and use it for his own goals. The comments from my team hit me hard but I took them with a grain of salt and knew that It was for the greater good... and that if the Illusive man dared to use the tech for the wrong reasons, me and shepard would stop him, because I couldn't live with causing more hurt because of my actions. * I missed the exit to get to my university the other day because I was thinking about MassEffect. Had to go a good five minutes out of my way (on a twenty minute commute) to get back around... but it was totally worth it! {{Tropers/Alynnidalar}} * So, my first time playing the Collector base on [=ME2=], I got through the Reaper with no casualties, purely by using what I thought was the logical choice - For example, I had Mordin escort Dr Chakwas & the other survivors back to the Normandy under the reasoning that ''he's a doctor, he can help Chakwas with the survivors'' - and chose to take Miranda (Who my Shepherd had romanced) & Legion in to face the Reaper. After I managed to put the Reaper down, I decided to blow up the base, because I was pissed that I didn't save all of my crew and I got the satisfaction of seeing Miranda telling TIM where he can stick his job. Then shit went down & the platforms my team had just fought on started falling, with Shepherd saving Miranda from falling off the side. My team survived that, and started running back to the ship. Then I see the Normandy, waiting for my team to get on board... And Joker by the door, taking shots at Collectors. At this point, I just shouted "You wanna come on ''MY'' ship, fuck with ''MY'' crew?! ''FUCK! YOU!'' and had a satisfied smile on my face as I watched Miranda pull Shepherd onto the Normandy. Considering I had to wait a year to get the PS3 version of the game... Worth. The. Wait. * This troper just played through Shepard's reunion with Liara after

the Shadow Broker storyline, and it [[GirlsLove ended well]]. It was a total CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming. * This troper has a bit of a bad habit regarding his main Shepard character. He's pretty much Paragon through and through... right up until the last mission. In [=ME1=], he figured that it wasn't worth risking Alliance ships rescuing the Destiny Ascension, since they'd be needed to defeat Sovereign. Quasi-renegade ending. In [=ME2=], he really didn't want to give the Collector base to Cerberus, but he just couldn't bring himself to destroy the one bit of Reaper tech the collective organic species had their hands on. If I have to go wipe out Cerberus after the Reaper threat is done, so be it, but Cerberus is a bunch of dudes with guns. The Reapers have wiped out thousands of galactic civilizations. We need any leg up we can get. Renegade ending. ** This troper had the same experience acctually. And funilly enough, My renegade Shepard got a PARAGON ENDING in [=ME2=]. * This troper loves how Bioware fleshes out the backstory of the characters in [=ME2=] in the Shadow Broker dossiers. Probably the smallest but most meaningful example - it turns out that Legion is quite the avid gamer. Some of this is played for humor, but then you get to one game on the list of games he's purchased: -->Geth Attack: Eden Prime (Fundraising Edition) -->Donation Level: Ultra Platinum -->Player Score: 0 (Purchased but never played) * I have always been more or less immune to all forms of Nightmare Fuel, going through the pages for it doesnt get more then a "Hmm, that's creepy." response from me. But watching [[spoiler:Kelly Chambers melt down into goo]] in front of my Shepard's eyes was the first time in over a year that I felt genuine horror at something. But the game wasn't done with me yet, during [[spoiler:the fight with the larvae, the way it ducks down and peeks over the platform at you]] struck me as oddly disturbing. -{{Tropers/RahalimusPrime}} * [[Tropers/SlvstrChung This troper]], late to the bandwagon, is most of the way through his first playthrough of the series: Female Paragon Soldier; romanced Liara, kept Wrex, sacrificed Ashley, rescued Council, chose Anderson; currently about to obtain the Reaper IFF. (Kept Samara, but frankly didn't like her ''or'' Morinth.) This troper chose Liara in the first game only because his first choice, Ashley, isn't available to [=FemShep=] (which is also why she had to go on Virmire; when he plays as [=MaleShep=] it'll be Kaidan's turn), and never cared for her or Kaidan one way or the other. Fast forward to Illium, with Liara keeping her brittle silence, and it was like an UnrequitedLoveSwitcheroo. Doesn't help that this troper has always been attracted to the BrokenBird type, almost marrying one IRL. Even better, he chose the JerkAss dialogue options during the ''Normandy'' evac, so Liara's picture isn't on Shepard's desk, even though the "reality" is that Shepard still loves her. Foot, meet gun. ** Play ''Lair of the Shadow Broker''. It has really heartwarming moments with Liara that you may appreciate. * Playing with the Colonist backstory, especially when I remembered Talitha, I went into Mass Effect 2 fully intending to have my otherwise ''very'' Paragon Shepard always act Renegade towards any

batarians she came across because of what they'd done. But that didn't last long. When I went to recruit Mordin and ran into the batarian near the beginning of the area who was (up until just that moment rightfully) absolutely positive that I'd leave him to die a miserable death because of his species it brought me up short and made me wonder [[WhatTheHellHero what the hell]] I thought I was doing. If my ''real life'' family and friends had all been murdered by people who were a different race from myself it wouldn't make me judge every member of that race based on the one group's actions, so what was I doing acting out of FantasticRacism? Moreover, my Shepard had spent the entire time I played her being incredibly accepting of other species and bending over backwards to try and find ways to make peace with her enemies, even Saren, so carrying a massive grudge against the entire batarian species just because what ''they'd'' done was personal was massively hypocritical to her; how could she keep telling everyone else around her not to give into the urge for vengeance when she couldn't let go herself? In the twenty-odd years I've spent gaming I've never had a stronger sense that I was actually role-playing my character instead of just watching what they do than in that moment, when after a long pause Shepard swore to send help and from then on reacted to every other batarian that she met based on their own individual actions instead of what a group of them had done to her years ago. I really felt as if she'd had the same realizations as me and finally let herself start to move on from that long-carried hatred. * My renegade shepard, Alex, since his death, has become even more bitter and moved from "kind of a jerk but good at heart" to "complete selfish bastard who only fights for justice because he wants revenge". But he's going back to his original character after 1- I lost my damn crew to the collectors except for the companions. Tali didn't make it either. And 2- I completed the shadow broker DLC, and when Liara asked to come back onto the normandy, Shepard said no, they should stay professional about this. There's this moment where she walks away, stops, and looks back at him, and shepard quickly looks away. I'm now playing through the rest of the [=DLCs=] with a less assholish perspective. That little glance from Liara was the moment Alex Shepard learned regret, and it took a "no" to a friend to get him to do it. ** My paragon shepard, Anne, was initially naive and emotionless, only doing what the council told her. Her epiphany was a lot earlier- When the council ignored the Reaper threat I couldn't bring myself to be calm and understanding, I just yelled at them for being such idiots. She's not renegade, god no, she's still the most paragon thing in space, but she's paying attention to people's flaws instead of just their positives for once. * This troper experienced a personally awkward moment during Mordin's loyalty mission. As the Clan Weyrloc speaker was ranting away about how the krogan were wronged by the genophage, I started half-agreeing with him (I was playing Paragon and valued life in general, so that was expected). I noticed the Renegade interrupt prompt, but decided to leave it just to hear what the speaker had to say. He then mentioned something about defeating human and turian forces - didn't bother me, since krogan are aggressive creatures anyways. He followed up with their intents of enslaving all the asari - I was weirded out now, and

was starting to doubt the guy's legitimacy in his efforts of finding a cure for the genophage. The krogan's penultimate statement was claiming to ''eat'' salarian eggs after conquering the galaxy, and at that moment, I decided enough was enough. My Sheperd would draw the line at infanticide. I took the Renegade prompt immediately, and that krogan received a fiery death. It was...oddly satisfying. * One of the things this troper missed most in the initial transition from the first to second game was the loss of biotic asswhupping that is possible as an Adept near the end of the first. Then I got got a new Xbox and ended up playing the first game through again. Favorite part of the final mission: while walking up the side of the Citadel Tower, stepping out of cover to provoke a krogan into a charge, waiting calmly for the right moment, then using Lift and watching him float on by overhead and disappear into the abyss. If I may quote a certain drug-addled volus: "I am a biotic GOD. Fear me!" * This troper somehow played through the second game almost three times without having a YMIR mech go nuclear. Then, I was most of the way through Garrus' loyalty mission, settling down for a long fight with Harkin's twin mechs. I kill one, and am turning to deal with the other when the screen goes red. The smoke clears, and the second mech is GONE. Feel free to imagine my astonished glee. * [[Tropers/RolandX This troper]] has since come to ''love'' MassEffect1, but on my first playthrough, the very first planet I landed on after leaving the Citadel was Edolus. No, I hadn't met Admiral Kahoku yet; I was looking for [[LastGirlWins Liara]]. Hey, [[SchmuckBait there's a distress signal]], I'd [[TooDumbToLive better investigate]] -- OhCrap what the hell [[SandWorm IS THAT THING!?!]] The shriek made me ''literally'' jump off the couch. Yes, my ''very first exploration opportunity'' ran me straight into a Thresher Maw. I survived, but only because I followed my first instinct -- I [[RunOrDie ran my]] [[IncrediblyLamePun asteroid off]]. Once I had a better idea of what I was doing, I drove back and blew the thing back to where it came from, but I had tons of respect for SoleSurvivor Shepard after that. ** Tropers/JoieDeCombat had the exact same experience. And was playing a Sole Survivor Shepard. It was an incredible OhCrap moment. * This troper had an evil Femshep. While she originally had blue eyes the aforementioned evilness brought on evil glowing red eyes in [=ME2=]. Her eyes look awesome now as the glowing red eyes are bordered in perfect contrast by the original blue eyes. * An evening with a MassEffect random plot generator turned Dr. Chakwas into a MemeticBadass for me. Her exploits against Thresher maws are legendary. Also she smoked cigarettes with Sovereign, sniped Saren, and renegade interrupted Morinth. * This Troper has a few fun little games he likes to play with his Infiltrator Shepard. If the last enemy has gone to cover, I cloak, go around behind them, and shoot them point blank in the head. If I'm feeling mean, I wait for the cloak to end, and shoot them just as the turn. I bring the Avalanche to fight bosses whos charecter ticks me off, wittle them down to just life, and freeze them, then line up the perfect shot with the widow. And then theirs what I call Skeet Shooting. First have a biotic teammate use pull, while shouting

"Pull!". Then shoot the airborne foe. I grinned madly when I played Lair Of The Shadowbroker, and saw that Liara's singularity could float multiple enemies. Oddly enough, I play a straight Paragon Shepard, and can't bring myself to do anything too cruel in diolouge. * This troper got the suicide mission on his first try, based on the following rationale: Legion for techie, as he was romancing Tali at the time and didn't want to risk his boo. Garrus for fireteam leader the first time because Jack has issues with Miranda (I was also amused the second time around, when I noticed Garrus shaking his head in the background after Miranda volunteers to lead the fireteam). Samara for biotic, because why use a human when you can use an asari with centuries of training and experience? Miranda for second fireteam leader, because Jack is just going to have to deal with it. Mordin to escort back, because he's a doctor and that might be useful. Tali and Garrus with me for the final round, for old times' sake. Spanked the Collectors and the baby Reaper. Felt good. As a business major, he also likes to think that this is Bioware's attempt to teach the concept of comparative advantage (everyone should specialize in what their best at and trade for other things to maximize total wealth), as he noticed how Thane is a selectable choice for every specialist role (tech, fireteam, biotic), but selecting him always leads to bad things because him being a generalist makes him ill-suited for anything that requires a highly advanced level of skill, and even his bio basically says "he's not the best, but might be able to wing it." ** (same as above) This troper also killed off Samara and recruited Morinth for his "reasonable Renegade" Infiltrator and got Dominate as the special ability. He took immense amusement in ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL over Collector drones and using them to fight Harbinger. * I just finished a Paragon Shepard playthrough for carrying over to ME3, and got everyone's loyalty for the first time - I ''always'' lost Jack & only got Zaeed's by playing Renegade. From the start, I played Shepard as being unwilling to kill, unless the person was [[TooDumbToLive stupid enough to pull a gun on him]], and only took five Renegade interupts the entire game - I killed Elnora, since Pitney mentioned the "Eclipse must kill for their armour" rule, and three of the remaining four interupts were ShutUpHannibal moments for Hokk, Uvenk, the Weyrloc speaker, all of which were deeply satisfying. The last was when I finally caught up to Kenson; once I saw the interupt, I took it & Shepard gunned her down, which I was fully expecting - Not because she deserved it for the 304,942 Batarian she condemed to death when she cut Shepard's attempt at alerting the Batarian colonies, but ''dammit'', no-one deserves indoctrination by the damn Reapers. * I've played through [=ME=] a total of 3 times before [=ME2=] was released. I recognized that Ashley was a pretty decent squadmate, but I was never particularly fond of her [[FantasticRacism specism]]. Especially after she killed [[TheBigGuy Wrex]] on one of my play throughs. She also reminded me of radical conservatives, who use their religion as an excuse to inflict their ideas on others. The 3rd time, I happened to let her survive Virmire, took her on the Citadel during lockdown and talked to that [[NobleBigot Terra Firma guy]]. And whatdoyouknow, Ash [[TookALevelinBadass KICKED ASS]]!! Now she's

officially my favorite squadmate in the series. Urgh, I hate what [[DerailingLoveInterests they did to her in [=ME2=]]]. Can't wait for [=ME3=], though. * This troper did the suicide mission perfectly his first time through sheer bias. I did every loyalty mission and every upgrade, but I knew screwing up could lose me some. First, I decided Tali was the only companion I trusted to go through the ducts and Garrus was the only squadmate who I felt COULD lead. Then, I decided only an Asari matriarch could sustain the barrier needed to hold off the seekers, so Samara got the job. I honestly just wanted Miranda out of the way, so I sent her back to the ship, and had Jacob lead the second firing team because I wanted Garrus with me. And, again, because I wanted Garrus and Tali with me, [[MeaningfulEcho because they were my game ending squad in ME1, as well]]. Perfect ending. During my second playthrough, however, I made a different choice. Somehow, playing at 3:00 in the morning made me think Zaeed could actually LEAD. And my loyal friend [[Woobie Tali]] got blasted by a rocket. I reloaded.

---* Engage the Relay and jump back to MassEffect. ----

MassEffect2 '''Suicide Mission''' * [[Tropers/KainLupus I]] didn't realise a full survival was so difficult on my first playthrough, because I fluked past the 'Hold the Line' dilemma. I had Legion as Tech, Garrus as Leader for both teams, Jack as Biotics, Jacob as Escort and I just picked Mordin (and someone else) for the boss because I loved his Incinerate power. After my playthrough I looked up the mission and found out that Mordin is very likely to die holding the line. Turns out I saved his life by accident * This troper had a [[CrowningMomentOfFunny CMOF]] during the suicide mission. While I was downing collectors left and right with my sniper rifle, my sights were obstructed by...none other than Miranda's [[BabyGotBack ass]] as she walked in my path. I burst out laughing because her ass blocked the scope's line of sight completely. [[MemeticMutation Dat Ass]] indeed... '''LoyaltyMissions'' * During Grunt's loyalty mission, Grunt went berserk with his usual "I!AM!KROGAN!" line, ''right'' as Uvenk charged at him; Uvenk did not survive.

MassiveNumberedSiblings * This troper knows several families like this. And they all go to my church, or have in the past. Among them, families with: ** Eight kids, with a set of twins ** Six kids, all boys ** Ten kids, five are adopted

** Thirteen kids, all are circus performers ** Six kids, two are adopted ** Five kids, two in college, one just out of diapers ** Seven kids, four out of high school, one in elementary school ** Six kids, all but two are musicians ** Seven kids, none old enough for college ** Eight kids, Two out of college, two in college, youngest in middle school ** ''Twenty-five kids'', all but three are adopted * This troper's stepdad has nine sisters. * This troper has 3 half-sisters as well as a full brother. There are 7 of us all together under one roof at one point, although the older 2 sisters have gone to unversity.Our Dad and brother are the only males in our house. It was bedlam in the morning when we all fought over who would shower and apply make-up first. * This troper's dad was the eight out of nine siblings,and in the other side this troper's grandpa was the third...of ten kids. Plus, he is married to the fourth sister in a family of five, whose mother was the eldest sister in a family of fourteen. And that knowing most of those people got married and had two or more kids...saying 'more than a hundred cousins' is the understatement of the decade. * Not really sure where this goes but two of my characters seem to have taken a leaf out of the rabbit's book. For a total of Twelve children. The family goes like this: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7 - 8,9,10 - 11,12. That's a run of seven girls, then three boys, then two more girls. 8,9 and 10 are triplets. 11 and 12 are twins. I have yet to work out where any other multiples go or if 1-7 are all singletons. * A friend of T.T. is the youngest of seven. Granted, a number of them were by marriage, but that's still a lot of siblings to keep track of. * I have two brothers, two sisters, a stepbrother and two stepsisters. My grandad was one of 8, great grandma one of 10, and my best friend has 8 brothers. Both of my parents just had one other sibling each, but now all of those siblings have more than four children each. * This troper has two friends who each have a large amount of siblings. One friend has six sisters and they're all (including her) the same age (and yes, they're her biological sisters; how that's possible, I don't know) and the other friend has a twin sister and five younger brothers. * This troper has several examples: ** My stepdad has five siblings. ** My great grandmother had ten siblings. ** My dad and my stepmom have six children together. Add to that myself, my brother on my mother's side and my stepmom's three children from a previous marriage, and you have ''a lot'' of kids. * My family is this. I am the only girl and oldest of six, my dad was from a family of ten, and my mum was also from a family of six. * This Troper's father has 22 siblings, with the youngest just out of high school. Of course my grandfather did have 3 wives at the same time. * Both of @/DesertDragon's parents came from families of 8 kids. Thankfully, they themselves only had 2--me and my older brother. * By the time this troper was born, my second cousin had five

daughters. Three years later, they were up to seven. By the time I hit puberty, they hit nine and finally got a boy. * This troper has a full brother, a half brother, a half sister, and a sister in law. Her mother had 4 siblings (possibly 5. It's complicated) and would have had 5 or 6, but her twin brother died when he was a baby. * Both of my parents had a lot of siblings. [[{{Irony}} I, however, am an only child.]] * This Troper is the youngest of eight kids. Moreover, his characters tend to come from large families, too. * A family this tropette is friends with has six kids, four girls and two boys. I think the oldest is like 11.

MasterOfTheMixedMessage * Traditional story. Old childhood friend, first real romantic interest in anyone, first kiss... Doesn't see her for three weeks. By then, she's avoiding the whole thing completely and a week later claims to have a boyfriend. Even worse, the whole thing was... fairly intimate. At least he was a good enough judge of character to see this coming miles away, still not good enough to prevent it. ** In hindsight, I think we were both this trope. Me being pretty much Asexual beforehand, a Deadpan Snarker and a Knight In Sour Armour, I guess I just had it coming. * This troper once knew a girl whom I had a crush on since highschool, didn't see her again for years, and finally met up with her again. Ohhh boy was she ever a Master of The Mixed Message. She gave off so many signals along the line of "I'm available" and "I REALLY REALLY like you" and "I enjoy your company I don't need anyone else", up to "You're a great FRIEND" and "I'm flirting with other people" then when this troper finally confess his feelings, she figuratively did a 180 degrees backflip and said "I can't imagine you and me dating." Needless to say, this troper was devastated and it resulted in this troper's aversion to romance and women for years. To be completely honest, this troper became slightly misogynistic after that event. * This troper has a "friend" Who has, over the course of an hour, Sat in his lap while talking about a different boy she likes, used the word "friend" three different times in the same sentence, and tried to hold his hand. When he finally confronted her about their relationship, she said that is thought that "[he was] fun to flirt with, but is really not sure." * I have a friend who used to be like this with about every male she knew. All of our male friends have at some point believed that they were about to hook up with her. Her code of conduct went as follows: "1. Lead the guy in question on until he's almost certain that you're in love with him. 2. Brutally push him away. 3. Repeat." As a female friend with absolutely no interest in her, it was quite amusing to watch, although I did feel for the guys. ** This troper thinks he's probably one of those guys... it ain't fun * This troper confesses to being (almost always unintentionally) a MasterOfTheMixedMessage herself... * This troper knows a girl. I shared my first kiss with her, and a

week later she was telling me she just got a boyfriend like it never happened. She would sit in my lap then act distant when I tried to hold her. She would tell me she wanted to be just friends then flirt with me the very next time we talked. And for one "just friends" talk, she invited me over to her house and then answered the door wearing nothing but a very short nightgown. When she tried to flirt with me next, I put my foot down and told her we would just be friends, strictly because I was tired of it. * This Troper used to be in love with one of her male friends however he had a girlfriend. I didn't tell him how I felt because of this but I didn't however become a master of the mixed message sometimes flirting or making it seem like I was going to confess to him and other times completely shooting down his hitting on me (teenage boys are perverts). The thing that really sucks is that around the same time I fell out of love with him he and his girlfriend broke up. He now constantly jokes about being in love with me and he has become a master of the mixed message. It sucks. * Some of the TroperTales on this page could very well be [[Tropers/DynamiteXI my]] own story. So dig: I met this pretty girl in a college class a few months ago, and we instantly hit it off and started hanging out because of our common interests. She had a longdistance boyfriend, but the relationship was on the skids anyway, and she kept telling me how attracted she was to me. Eventually, right after she broke it off with her boyfriend, there was an evening of her and me making out and necking, and things seemed to be going very well. And then she dropped off the radar completely for two or three weeks. During that time, when I ''did'' talk to her, she seemed to be taking the breakup pretty badly. But she acted like she was still interested in me, except she wanted to take things slow, so I respected her wishes. Not long after (in fact, just recently), I started seeing her again, and last night she [[MomentKiller casually let it drop]] that she had a new boyfriend--some idiot who works at a TV station in St. Louis that [[RememberTheNewGuy she apparently]] [[FirstGuyWins had a thing for for five years]]--despite, you know, ''leading me on'' (and presumably her former boyfriend as well) the entire time. It wasn't the first time I'd fooled by a woman leading me on, and she seemed incredulous when I told her how I felt about it earlier today. Fact is, it's an utterly embarrassing experience, and yes, [[TropesAreNotGood it does hurt.]] * This troper's ex, who she still sees around because they are involved in the same dance club at uni, appears to be this. They were at the same dance workshop three days after breaking up, and happened to be partners at one point in the rotation. They stayed in-position for the move that had just been taught, while the instructors demonstrated the next move - problem was, the position required standing side by side with the lead's arm around the follower's waist, and the ex further complicated this by holding troper flush against him, so that they were practically glued at the side. Three days after breaking off the relationship! Troper was very confused... * This troper's best friend loves to tease guys who like her when she doesn't feel the same way. Also, despite her being straight and [[BiTheWay my]] feelings for [[IncompatibleOrientation her]] she

treats this troper exactly how she treats her boyfriend... * This troper's good friend is probably the nicest person she's ever met. We're excellent friends, but he tends to be a MasterOfTheMixedMessage; it sure doesn't help my crush on him any. It's been escalated UpToEleven now that he has a girlfriend, what with him now calling me beautiful and telling me how I seem to be the only one to understand him. I constantly wonder if it's just him being really nice and my BrokenBird -esque past is just keeping me from accepting that people can actually be ''that'' kind. * This troper knew a girl whom I met halfway through freshmen year in high school at a party. Now from the first meeting we hit it off quite well and I was slightly enamored by her seeing that I was not well versed in social skills. But we talked for days and days mostly in chats. I was quite afraid to tell her how I felt for fear that she would rebuff me as many have before but soon found out that she liked me as well (which wasn't evident to me at first even with all the flirting she did). However she was in a 'unhealthy' relationship with another person in which she told me that she'd like time to deal with that before we could become anything. Hence comes my waiting for 2 months before talking to her again to find that she "no longer feels that way" and a month later leaves to boarding school with little to no clarification. Needless to say I was [[LoveHurts devastated]] * This troper has a best guy friend who may or may not be[[BiTheWay be bi]] instead of [[CampGay outright gay]] as he says he is. Kind of hard to tell. Anyway, this troper's best friend also had a crush on him at the beginning of the school year. This troper [[IWantMyBelovedToBeHappy hooked the two friends up]] and [[LoveHurts watched the two of them be happy together for 7 months]]. Then, the male friend broke up with the female friend because he thought he was gay. Then, male friend tells this troper that she's the only person he can talk to and how he considers her to be one of his best friends. He than later says how he wishes he could have a boyfriend. Later he plays with this troper's hair, then tells this troper one of the boys in their class [[EvenTheGuysWantHim is cute]]. He even asks this troper two days in a row to come over to his house to either, a) have tea with him or b) have dinner with him. This troper is now uberconfused and cannot tell if she is a {{Fag Hag}} or just plain [[LoveMakesYouDumb stupid]].

MaybeMagicMaybeMundane * In the Philippines during the early 1960s, this troper's mother got polio when she was a toddler. She lived, but, like many polio survivors, was left severely crippled by the illness. Her parents went to a couple of different doctors to see if they could at least restore some of her mobility. Because of medical malpractice and one doctor being a n00b, Mom instead ended up becoming ''worse''. So they took her, partly in desperation, to a WitchDoctor. As of this editing, my mother is able to walk normally well into middle age. [[Tropers/JuiceBoxHero This troper]] believes it to be a combination of extensive knowledge of folk medicine, ''perhaps'' some magic, and ClapYourHandsIfYouBelieve, but hasn't worked out the exact proportions

of each. ** In addition, said mother is currently in her early fifties, [[HotMom but looks just a little over half her age]]. All of her female relatives, including her own mother, are similarly OlderThanTheyLook. My mom's always attributed her beauty and youthful appearance to [[WomensMysteries gathering the first dew in May and washing your face with it]], and taught this Troper to do the same when she was seventeen. Said troper brushed it off as superstition and believed it was most certainly genetics, until she read [[http://www.answers.com/topic/may-dew this article.]] Now it's just '''''probably''''' genetics. * In physics class this troper had a moment where a string came off a pulley when it was pretty clear such a thing shouldn't have been possible. We figured out where the whole was eventually, so it's a subversion, but it was really freaky at the moment. (Might be the wrong trope (DoingTheWizardIn maybe?), IDK.)

MayDecemberRomance * this troper and her (now) husband are 13 years apart. We met when I was 17 and he was 30 (it's OK, we're british) * This troper's Mother and Father. His Father is nearly eighty and his Mother has just hit 40. Yah, I get odd looks. ** You too? * A former neighbour couple of this troper married when she was 25 and he 50. In an odd numerical coincidence, she died at 50, leaving him a widower at 75. * This troper's parents and the troper herself. Her mother is 13 years older than her father, and she and her husband are 15 years apart. * According to my dad, when he was born, his dad was 60 and his mom was 40. * This troper (I met my wife when I was 31 and she was just 21). And this troper's step-grandfather - at 78 he married an 18 year-old because she was pregnant, and they were divorced before the baby was born (Grandpa Lecil was a [Insert Bad-Word here].) ** Jerk? Man-Whore? Asshole? [[{{Firefly}} No good ruttin hun dan?]] Sorry, I just wanted to do that little joke at the end there. * This troper was close to be being in a relationship with a female was 8 months older than me (I'm 23, she is 24). She decided that she didn't want to date me, went out with a dude a year younger than her who lived on the other side of the United States. Dumped him and decided to start dating a 42 year old man. This troper has yet to tell her that he is not happy with their relationship, not because she turned me down but he's old enough to be her dad. * This (20 year old) troper was until recently in a relationship with a 42 year old woman. whom he met in the mental ward where he was held for suicidal behaviour. And she was on a rebound from a long marriage, which she broke up from because her husband was getting bi-curious. * This troper's GayBestFriend. When he was 21, he was dating a man who was 32. ** Also played for comedy in this troper's existance. When she was an 18-year-old high-school senior, she started dating a 14-year-old

freshman. This isn't all that unusual... except that all her friends ''treated'' it like a more typical MayDecemberRomance. They called her nicknames like "cradle-robber" and "MrsRobinson." In a more recent conversation, they've dubbed her a "Cougar-In-Training." ** [[{{Haza}} This troper]]'s GayBestFriend is 16. He's dated at least one guy that was 29... * This troper's mother is 15 years older than her husband. Troper's own husband is older than her stepfather. * [[ShayCaron This troper]] is 19 years younger than [[{{Indigo}} his girlfriend]] of almost four years and counting. * This troper's 43 year old white father is currently dating a 21 year old black woman, so it's kind of a double-whammy. Both are very, very happy with the relationship, and indeed enjoy making fun at people who think anything about the relationship is weird. ** You tell your dad he gets a MadeOfWin from me. That's right, screw the haters! ** As someone whose uncle and his wife are the exact situation, where I'm the only one in the entire family who supports them, I agree. Made of Wins for the lot of you! * This troper's adopted father and biological mother are 23 years apart. What's funny is that her parents are only a few years older than him. I love the reaction of other people when I tell them that. * Confirming this troper's worst (or best?) suspicions, the older he gets, the younger (and more numberous) the romantic interests tend to be. He's nearing his 30's, and recently discovered a college junior thought he was "hot"? Can't complain, I guess.... * I think [[{{Madrugada}} I've]] got almost everyone here beat. I'm 50 and my husband is 80. We've been happily married for 17 years and together for 19. ** D'awwwwwwwww! * This troper's father is 11 years older than her stepmother. * This troper's biological parents were 20-ish and 50 when this troper was born. Also this troper is dating someone eight years her senior. * [[JChance This troper]], due to an utter indifference to age, has seen his last two relationships be minor cases in opposite ways. One was eleven years older, the next was eight years younger. Both are still good friends, though the troper in question is somewhat happily single and fears that he is becoming the stereotypical crusty bachelor. ** IReadThatAs eighty years younger... *** Despite pale skin and an aversion to direct sun, I am not a vampire. * [[{{Bookhobbit}} This troper's]] dad and mum were five years apartprobably a May/September. Now, however, he's dating a lady ten years younger than him, although 40/50 doesn't strike one as that odd, and his age is really quite difficult to pin down. Additionally, Mom's new husband is about ten years or so older than her. There seems to be a pattern developing here... * This troper's parents might be best described as May/September as well, being eight years apart. When they got married (1990), my mom was 24 and my dad was 32. * This Troper, who is 18 and in college, has it bad for a fourteen-

year-old girl. The fact that he has a thing for {{lolicon}} (Just looking, no touching) does not help him in this matter. ** Swap out the college for a final-year high school setting and the 14 year old for a girl who is to This Troper's best knowledge APPROACHING 13, and you have myself. To make things all the worse, I'm asexual but have an unfair reputation as being oversexed due to a complicated misunderstanding, and pretty much the entirety of my year group and even one of my COUNSELORS knows about my feelings for this girl. Jokes are made. Regularly. * This Troper was severely squicked out when he learned the awful truth of this family: ** At first he thought it was an eighty year old woman, a forty year old couple, the male of which was the eighty year old's son, and the forty year old couple had a fifteen or so daughter, and an infant son. ** However, it turned out that the eighty year old was the forty year old woman's mother, the forty year old woman was the mother of the ''forty'' year old man (who was actually younger than he looked by about a decade), who's wife was the fifteen-year-old girl. Their son was the infant. *** I'm sorry, but you could not have worded that more confusingly or have been more vague with those descriptions. * This Troper's father was twenty years older than her mother, and the two had only known each other for four months at the time of their wedding. The marriage lasted until his death. * [[ThisTroper This Troper's]] English teacher is about 13 years younger than her husband. She also stated that by the time she finished kindergarten, her husband was in high school. * One of [[{{Xaris}} this troper's]] grandmothers is a total of 5 years older than his father and the result of his grandfather remarrying after a messy divorce. * [[MacPhisto This Troper]] is planning on proposing to his girlfriend, who is 17 years older than him. * This Troper's parents are 12 years apart in age. * This troper's roommate's friend seemed to only date men who were as old as her father (her: early 20s; him/them: mid-40s to early-50s); the only one I met was a bit of an ManChild ("Do you like ''{{Bleach}}'' too?"). She dated an 18-year-old for a while, and then [[{{Transgender}} she became a man]] and now I don't know what his type is. ** The roommate herself dated guys were were a couple years younger (her: 26, bf #1: 23; her: 27, bf #2: 18). She ultimately married a guy a couple years older. ** My cousin dated a woman 10 years his senior for a few years (him: early 40s; her: early 50s). * This troper's great-grandmother was 16 when she married his greatgrandfather, who was in his 40s. To be fair, they were from Syria and this was TheThirties, so this wasn't exactly uncommon, socially or culturally, back then. * This 19 year-old troper still living with his parents recently broke up with his first girlfriend, who is a 28 year-old single mother of two children he never had the chance to meet. He's one of those guys who prefers older, more emotionally mature women.

* [[PingoTBest This troper]]'s mother and father are 40 and 57, respectively. While not as extreme as some cases, it still annoys her a bit when people see the type of relationship as {{Squick}}. * My uncle and his second wife are six years apart in age. He'll be forty one in August, and she's thirty five. The fact that both look younger than their years helps. My mom's actually seven years his senior, and looks closer to ten. * My mother was 23 and my father 40 when I was born. In sort of the same vein, I had a relationship with at 26-year-old friend at the age of 17. It didn't last. * This troper's uncle finally married at 50, his bride was 26 years old. It's been almost ten years now, and they are HappilyMarried with two adorable [[BabiesEverAfter little girls]]. * This troper's parents are a May/September: they married when her mom was nineteen and her dad twenty-seven. * This troper's parents got 16 year gap between them.He was 20,she was 36...26 years later and they are still together.Also hardly first time it happened in the family,her grandmother was married to 50 year old man at her age of 20.But it was just after war so you know... * And this one nearrly became involved in a few May/October situations; mostly with Asian exchange students. [[IWantMyBelovedToBeHappy But decided it was better to let them go home than to keep pursuing]]. * [[{{Sen}} This troper]] has a literal example of this - his mom was born in May and is 11 years younger than his dad, who was born in December. * This troper's parents had a 14-year age difference. He was closer to her mom's age, and she was closer to his stepdaughters' age. Funnily, they were both born in December. * This troper got her first boyfriend when she was 19! The first boyfriend was 28 going on 29. Then when she was 22, she began another relationship with the man who would take her virginity -- he was 36 going on 37. Now she's kinda dancing around the concept of "boyfriend/girlfriend" with someone closer to her own age, as he's just a couple of years older than her. * [[Tropers/SpectrumFizz This troper]]'s parents are 12 years apart in age; funnily enough, this troper is also 36 years younger than her mother, meaning that all three are [[EasternZodiac Year of the Pig]]. * I'm 22 and dating a 36-year-old. Oddly enough, what's more creepy than the age difference is the fact that we're so similar. * This troper's entire family is the embodiment of this trope. The mother and father are ten years apart (he's 60, she's 50), when they divorced she got together with someone of the exact same age difference. The brother started a relationship with a 13 year old girl (he was 17). This troper beat them all though; partner is 50, she's 24. Ironically, brother hasn't spoken to her since, and mother's reaction was 'are you sure he's not using you?' -sigh* This troper's parents are twenty years apart in age, met when she was in her thirties and he was in his fifties, and have been married now for nearly twenty five years with no signs of stopping. The only problem arose when people assumed dad was our grandad when he was picking us up from school.

* This Troper's father was 9 1/2 years older then her mother, (she was in her mid-twenties when they met) since mom died, he's dated several woman, most around a decade younger then him. * This troper is 23. Her fiance is 72. ''She's'' the one who came on to ''him'' first, when she was 21 and he was 70. Also? She lost her virginity to him. Checkmate. * My grandmother is in her fifty's dating a guy younger than her daughter. He is like thirty eight. My mom is 42. * This friend of mine found herself a 21 year old for her boyfriend. She was 13 at the time. Then, he dumped her and she got a trauma about it. Two years later, he's trying to get her back and she's actually [[WhatAnIdiot ''considering'']]. Yep, life is weird. ** When she was still JailBait, huh? Risky business. * [[DarkMan This Troper]] has wife fourteen years his senior. As a result of this, his step-daughter is fourteen years younger than he is. * [[{{Tropers/Tahaneira}} This troper]] is friends with a couple of this type. He's in his forties; she's in her twenties. A lot people seem to get [[{{Squick}} squicked]] about it, but it really works. It helps that she's very mature for her age and that he's somewhat immature. As a side note, he also often has to show his driver's license to prove he's not in his early thirties. * This troper's parents approach this territory with a nine year age difference. Of course, they also waited nine years before having her. While most of the troper's friend's parents are nearing 45, her's are 50 and 59. Not that extreme, all things considering. * This troper almost got in a relationship with her then guitar teacher, who is 23 years older than her. Also, she was 17 at the time. Nevertheless, they talked about it and decided it was better not to get involved, as he had a wife who was at the time pregnant. ** No offence, but your guitar teacher sounds like kind of a sleaze bag. I mean, it's good he didn't cheat after all, but if the urge is there... * {{Tropers/JillBug}}'s grandparents married when grandma was 17 and grandpa was 35. Now, her 45-year-old mother has a 30-year-old boyfriend. She also has a friend who began dating a man in his 50s while in her early 20s. * A friend of mine who works at the Ballard farmer's market in Seattle is 28 and married to an Italian guy 11 years older than her. My elder aunt's late husband was 15 years older than her. * Slowly but surely this is becoming my fate. My friend is [[{{youngerthantheylook}} now 13]] and I'm [[{{olderthantheylook}} just turning 25]]. We have so much in common and chemistry also her father knowing me for years completely trusts me to [[{{bigbrotherinstinct}} take care of her]] when I can. I guess the times I am hanging out no one takes any notice is because we both look and act like we're in high school. ** After yesterday it is my fate now. Can't be all that bad... *** You do know this is fucking illegal, right? And her father trusts you to take care of her because he trusts you not to do things like have sex with you, so you're basically breaching his trust in a MAJOR FUCKING WAY, right? Right?

*** WifeHusbandry has got to start somewhere I suppose... *** Wasn't worried about it because I only treated her like a friend. With job and college I'm never around anyway. So she has long since gotten over that little crush on me and found someone her own age. * This female troper is 19. Last year I briefly dated a 27-year-old guy and am currently with a man who is 39 going on 40. Needless to say we get some seriously weird and disgusted looks from people but we don't really care. It's good for a laugh. * This troper's parents are just short of nine years apart; I would tell you their ages but my mother doesn't like her age to be revealed to anyone. Their marriage has long since disintegrated for reasons unrelated to said age difference. ** Other than my parents, I know of many other instances of this trope: *** A girl I knew in eighth grade dated a high school senior on and off for nearly a year. *** My best friend's mother' aunt (?) had a successful case of this: she went to Vegas for a while and married a man a good 15 years her junior two days later. Their marriage lasted 20+ years before he, the younger man, died. *** My grandmother does not like to reveal her age either, and is embarrassed by the fact that she is six months older than her husband. * Amusing case of related LaserGuidedKarma: One of my friends believed it was utterly impossible for a May December Romance to be genuine, and that any such relation was based on selfish motives for one or both parties, and he was very vocal about it (we had a couple of hours-long discussions on the subject). Heck, his cutoff age for these things was pretty small, too- a mutual friend who was 18 (as we were) and dated a 14-year-old girl (legal in Quebec last time I checked) got from him the nickname "Pedo-Ben" (and this was in TheNineties, too, long before the Pedobear MemeticMutation was created). Fastforward 6 years, and my now-24 unbeliever friend starts his first serious, loving relationship... with a 17-year-old girl (7-year difference). Let's just say there were a few sniggering "Pedo-Jeff" jibes from the gang for about a year. They're still a quite functional (if very snarky) couple 8 years later though, which ironically further weakens my friend's previous position. * One of my close friends is 19 years old, and she has been secretly dating a 45 year old friend of her dads for about a year now. This is legal cause the age of consent here is 16, but its still kinda squicky. * This troper and her girlfriend, she's about six years older than this troper. Still we're perfect together, and this troper is a CakeEater anyway, though her girlfriend still worries about her age. * My great-grandmother was my great-grandfather's second wife. Her oldest stepdaughter had been her best friend in school, where they were in the same grade. ---You're dating MayDecemberRomance and he's ''how'' old?! ---<<|TroperTales|>>

MDEnvy * This troper's sister who is studying medicine (and indeed, invoking of this trope as we refer to her as "doctor" rather than "medical student" has become something of an in-joke in the family) recently happened upon a statistic that the profession whose practitioners are most likely to commit suicide is dentistry. As to whether said statistic is actually related to this trope is anyone's guess, but it does make you think... * Subverted in the case of this troper's real life. No matter how many times I'm automatically addressed as "nurse" while on my hospital volunteer shift, it's no problem politely correcting people with "Actually, I'm just a volunteer." * Played straight, or rather invoked, when this troper's headmaster greeted the new students in the beginning of the semester. This troper didn't attend the whole event herself, but was told afterwards that the headmaster had basically adressed the students with "future doctors...and you others" - which is particularly groan-inducing on a medical institute that has ''23 different medically related educations'' of varying size. Imagine being in a room with twenty people, and your existance is the only one given any particular notice. * Kinda related, this troper wants to go for a doctorate in Engineering, simply because he will be called "Doctor". MadScientist much? * This troper, who is only starting med school in a week, was not sure whether to be amused or pressured when her aunt gave her a desk plaque that said "Best Doctor In the World".

MeadowRun * This troper attempted to do this once. However, he weighs over 200 pounds, and the other person was about 5 feet tall, so it.... didn't end well.

MeanBoss * This troper worked at a friggin' retirement home once and the kitchen boss was exactly this. He even wore suspenders. IN A KITCHEN! And he also had one of those 'Hey, look, I'm an asshole!" style mustaches like you see on so many southern policemen and pre-80's politicians. Freddy Mercury tried to save that poor mustache from its legacy, but not even he's awesome enough to do so. In the times he or rural-appropriate people wear suspenders though, this troper does not suffer his old phobia towards them. Still can't get over THAT mustache though. (and believe they groom it specifically to that length just to accentuate a SmugSnake smirk.) * This Troper (LowEndLem) worked in fast food for 2 years, and worked for every possible one. One of them demanded he piss in a cup for her boyfriend. Another changed my schedule without telling me and threatened to fire me for not being in. Such....fond? Yeah, fond.

Memories.

MeaningfulEcho * A year or two ago, This Troper's friend was pretty depressed, but he said he wasn't considering suicide. His exact reason was: "[[HeroicSociopath Why hurt yourself when you can hurt others?]]". Just recently, he told me he ''was'' contemplating suicide, so I [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome repeated those]] [[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming words to him]]. He was pretty surprised to find that ''he'' was the one who said that, but he took his own advice. * When this troper was in middle school, the guy she had a crush on was expelled after getting into a fight and getting caught by a teacher. During his last day of school, this troper contemplated confessing her feelings to him, but in the end decided against it upon seeing the line of girls who were confessing to him too, as well as noting that her feelings for him were not that strong, and that she would probably never see him again anyway. So with that thought in mind she simply bid him farewell. Three years later, now on high school, an old acquaintance from middle school broke her the news that his old crush had recently died on a car accident. This troper felt both sad and surprised to realize that, true to her own words, she would never ever see him again.

MeaningfulName * * This Troper's dentist is named Fluur. * This troper's last name is Suttles. She is anything but, ironically. * This Troper had a lovely Religious Studies teacher named Mrs. Holyland. ** Do you live in Yorkshire by any chance? I have exactly the same situation. Quite a large woman? ** This Troper's was Dr. Wise. *** This troper had a Dr. Wise. He wrote our text book, too. ** My sister's teacher is a Mr. Angel. * This troper's college has a linguistics professor named Babel, and the linguistics department's undergraduate advisor is named Babbler. * This tropertte's name means elegance, and ironically she is one of the clumsiest, craziest people most of her friends have met. * This troper knows a lawyer surnamed Justus (pronounced 'justice') ** Is his first name Apollo, by any chance? * I have a friend who is in a class with a stereotypical black kid (he speaks in ebonics, listens to rap music, wears "gangster" , etc.). His name? "Clishay" (pronounce it). * This Troper's surname ,in his language, has a meaning that translates to english as 'state of being drunk'. Not surprisingly, it is kind of a telling name * This troper has an ancestor whose surname was "van de See" which means "of the sea". When she was a baby, she was the only survivor of a shipwreck, and no-one knew her real name. * This troper knows a married couple named "Bacon" who both work in

the same supermarket (neither one in the meat department, though). * During this troper's time in the Army, he met a unit armorer, in charge of storing and repairing weapons, whose name was "Swords". * This editor's local butcher has the astonishingly apposite name of Euan Cowe. * This troper knew of a proctologist named Dr. Hiney. * This troper went to a neurologist called Dr. Aikenhead, and once underwent an operation where the anaesthesiologist was named Dr. Pillau. (The troper was heavily medicated during the latter meeting and couldn't stop giggling until the drugs took hold.) * This troper's mother worked with a Dr. Doctor. ** Is he [[Series/DoctorWho your friendly neighborhood time lord]], perhaps? * This troper had a boss who was mediocre at his job, whose last name was "Goodenough". * [[@/{{Magnezone}} This Troper]] had a girl move to her school in second grade. Normally this was no big deal, but I couldn't help but giggle when I heard her name as she introduced herself to the class: her last name was Newman. * There was a genius kid at this troper's school named Joshua Wise. * This troper's name means "Lover of dogs" in Gaelic (Irish language, if you don't know). [[{{IfYouKnowWhatIMean}} No, not like that!]] But yes, guess what his favourite animal is. ** Is your name Conor? ** Or Caleb? * Not RealLife but still a TroperTale. This troper takes part in a ''SoulEater'' RP. All player characters are [=OCs=] which sort of 'exist sideways' from the canon ones. Predicably, [[MeaningfulName meaningful naming]] abounds. * This troper's name means lamb, which she finds hilariously ironic because she is agnostic and very much not a "lamb of god". Also, her favorite animal is the lion, and has been her entire life. ** Is your name Agnes? I was born around St. Agnes Day myself. Fortunately, my family was Protestant and named me after a character on DaysOfOurLives. Living in Texas with a nickname like "Aggie" would've stunk. ** Is it Rachel? I think that also means "lamb". * This troper's childhood dentist was named Dr. Wiggly. Teehee. * Similar to the above, this troper had his wisdom teeth removed by a Dr. Mohler. That last name is pronounced just how you'd expect. * The person responsible for fire safety of buildings at [[@/NotSoBadassLongcoat this troper]]'s workplace has the last name that can be roughly translated to English as "Cinders". As in, what's left from a fire. * This troper got really cute and gave it a double meaning on naming the ''{{Fallout}} 3'' female protagonist "[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trinity_(nuclear_test) Trinity]]". * [[@/{{LordNadir}} This Troper]] has a friend that is a photographer. Her name? Kamera. * There's a Singaporean horror writer named Damien Sin. As far as I can ascertain, it's his real name. * [[@/SovietKitty This troper]] has an uncanny talent with animals,

including some deemed unfriendly, uncooperative, or downright vicious. Her middle name/patronymic is Pavlovna. * This troper had been told by his mother that his name (Justin) means truth and justice. He now is unable to tell lies without eventually admitting to the lie later and must always make sure everyone gets treated fairly and equally. * This troper was learning about his state's history and how they helped in wars in eighth grade social studies. The teacher's name was Ms. Herritage. * This troper had two teachers for one grade, named "Ms. Good" and "Ms. Nice". It was kind of reassuring. * This editor had a teacher who's last name translates roughly to english as "the bald one" He indeed was bald...[[BerserkButton but God help you if you joked about it.]] I also used to know a guy who's last name was translated to english as "doofus." he...wasn't one of the smartest people I've met. ** This troper had a Calculus teacher whose last name was 'Bald'. It fit him well. * This troper's new 12th grade councilor (Something tells me Firefox didn't spell that right) is named Mrs. Anger. We all couldn't believe it, either. * [[@/{{Raikage}} This troper's]] name apparently means "listener". This is ironic since I am constantly yelled at by my parents for not listening to what they tell me to do. ** Is your name Samantha? *** Or Simone? * This Troper lived nearby the Pine-Coffin cemetery. That is to say, the cemetery created as part of the bequest of Mrs. Pine-Coffin. * This Troper's old classmate was always skipping class with excuses that our form teacher was hellbent on proving to be a pack of lies (which, well, they were, but the teacher could only prove it once)guess what said old classmate's last name was? '''Alibi'''. * This troper suspects Saruman in ''TheLordOfTheRings'' to be one of these - a contraction of Sauron-Man. ** The above troper is RightForTheWrongReason - Saruman is derived from the Anglo-Saxon for "cunning man" and is the translation of the name given to him by the Rohirrim for obvious reasons. * This troper owns a calculus textbook in which every available name attempts to be one of these, committing such atrocities as "Iona Carr" and "Izzy Sinkin" ** I had that textbook. Don't forget about "Ella Vader". * This one's a milder example than most entries on this page. My professor for computer science (which is commonly shortened to CS) has the initials C.S. * This Troper's former head of Humanities was called Mr. Leader. * This troper has an Ag teacher named Mrs. Tillman. (Although it's really not that surprising, since we live in an rural area.) * [[@/{{Adene}} This Tropers]] name - Elke - is supposed to mean "industrious". And you guessed it, I'm a fan of such things [[{{Steampunk}} in a way]]. * This troper is named Cody. He's a programmer. * Although no examples spring to mind, this troper has run into this

situation countless times. He sees it as further proof that existence is a story. * This troper's given name is Drake. Supposedly, his mother was going to name him "Dragon" outright, but his father vetoed this in favor of something more normal-sounding. Yes, he's an Otherkin type * This troper and a friend went to a site about baby names and their roots/meanings. This troper's real name is apparently Greek for "helper of mankind". The friend's name on the other hand, is something meaning "kingly". ** Is your name Alexander? Your friend's name could be Regis or Rex or several other names. * Averted with this troper. My name means 'Truthful/Honest', and I pretty much ''excel'' at lying. * [[@/KilroyWasHere This troper]] doesn't have one himself, but he has an odd tendency to cause these retroactively when naming characters. Normally I don't look up when I make the character until later. So, you've got Neil Dumont ('champion of the mountain') who lives on a mountain, Jordan ('river') who drowned in a river, Lykaois, ('wolf'} who is a PapaWolf, and Makkarin Jaeger ('sausage hunter') who is a [[CrowningMomentOfFunny homosexual bounty hunter]]. Keep in mind I didn't know the meanings of their names until after these decisions. * This Troper's given name is Kimberlyn. [[SpellMyNameWithAnS Yes, there]] ''[[SpellMyNameWithAnS is]]'' [[SpellMyNameWithAnS another letter at the end of my name]], [[BerserkButton please remember that it's there]]. Breaking it down, you have two primary names combined: Kimberly and Lynn. "Kimberly" means "Cyneburg's Field" (or "Cyneburga's Field," depending on the site you look it up in), and "Cyneburg/Cyneburga," in turn, mean's "royal forest/royal fortress" (again, depends on the site). "Lynn" is from the Welsh word "llyn," meaning "lake." How is this meaningful? ** The definition of Cyneburg: "royal forest" is meaningful because this Troper is so much more at ease in more forest-like settings than she normally is in any city. [[TheLostWoods Even in video games.]] [[TheLegendofZelda A]] ''[[KingdomHearts lot]]'' [[SonicTheHedgehog of]] [[KnightsOfTheOldRepublic video]] [[NeverwinterNights games]]. As for the alternate interpretation meaning "royal ''fortress''"? This Troper has, at minimum, ''[[ILikeSwords nine]] [[ImplausibleFencingPowers swords]] [[BigFancySword in]] [[WeaponOfChoice the]] [[WallOfWeapons house]]''. Most of them are [[AbsurdlySharpBlade cane swords]] (all her mother's), [[WoodenKatanasAreEvenBetter a wooden katana]] (''also'' her mother's!), a [[NerfArm normal wooden longsword]], a wooden [[KingdomHearts Keyblade]], and one or two honest-to-goodness swords. ...and a [[BladeOnAStick halberd]] better made for someone like ''{{Willow}}'' currently hanging over the fireplace. *** Concerning the "Royal" bit: she (and 60% of Europe, meaning a good number of other people in the states, too - the guy had 20 children and they ''also'' got around {{If You Know What I Mean}}!) is apparently descended from Charlemagne. (Yes, ''[[HolyRomanEmpire that]]'' [[HolyRomanEmpire Charlemagne]].) Also, although this is ''highly'' unlikely, if you go back far enough in her family tree, she is somehow related to {{King Arthur}}. (...In hindsight, she could

probably look like [[FateStayNight Saber]] if she actually bothered to style her hair...) ** Moving on to the actual name first primary name itself, the definition of "Kimberly": Note that the meaning is "Cyneburg's ''Field''". This Troper lives in a certain area of Washington State, in the south-east, that is otherwise a ''desert'' save for the humongous number of ''farms'' you pass by on the highway. She walks to and from school regularly, and her fastest route involves crossing a large field of grass. ** Finally, the definition of "Lynn": This is based off the Welsh word for "lake." This troper ''loves'' water. Most especially, she loves going to her grandmother's cabin on Lake Cour D'Alene in the summer. Combine with the "royal forest" bit from above, and she is in the one sanctuary that eases her own internal (rarely shown) stress. * This troper has a grandmother who used to roll her eyes whenever she heard about girls named Cassandre (a name of ill-omen) or Melanie (a dark name.) * This troper's name Aaron, loosely translated means enlightened one in Hebrew and is also the name of Moses' brother who did his speaking for him. More than one person commented on it because of my ability to speak in public without concern and with virtually no prepping. ** Did I get really hammered and post here without remembering it? I actually nicknamed my younger brother Moses because of this. * This troper had a Criminal Justice professor who's last name was Lawson * My name (Cammi) means 'strong'. Anybody who knows me can tell you that I am freaking C4. I'm totally okay until you make me mad. Then, I will beat the living crap out of you. Muahaha. * [[@/KingSonnDeeDoo This Troper's]] last name means 'Those Who Dwell By The Marsh', or 'Marshland'. Now guess what's a few miles up the road from where she lives. * This troper's last name has the suffix meaning "Dog" or "Wolf" in Old Irish. His full name meaning "Keeper of the Hound"...guess who turned out to be a lupophile? * The first thing you hear my school's art teacher say on the first day in her class: --> "Hello, my name is Mrs. Ward, spell it backwards and it's 'draw.'" * This troper created a character named Crystal. She controlled ice. Yeah. * Subverted with this troper, his name is Kristian, he's Athiest. So are my parents, which makes me wonder why they called me that. ** Well, I guess changing your name to [[{{Burzum}} Varg]] is out of the question, eh? * This other troper tried using meaningful names for several characters for a story he's working on, only to be told that they were stupid. What do you think of these? ** Jack Craft, an aspiring engineer that likes building things and is known for his versatility. ** Mak Sekker, a violent gang leader that wields a large knife. ** Clara Gauzman, a nurse. ** Chip "Lucky" Diaz, a professional gambler. ** Lt. Sergio Ballisto, a soldier proficient in heavy firearms.

** Corona Blaser, head of the fire department. ** Agent Viper, a mysterious infiltrationist. His real name is David Pliskin, or is it? ** Darcy Ravenheim, a black-haired mute with psychic powers. * This Troper's last name is Jensen, like the tool brand. His paternal grandfather was a carpenter, who even built (and maybe designed, I can't recall) his own house, which is still in the family to this day. * This troper is named Thomas, and true to my name, I'm a very skeptical person ("Prove it" is almost my catch phrase). I'm also the only one in my high school shop class who actually knew how to use a ruler (the biblical Thomas was a carpenter by trade). ** Wait, is this some fancy shop class type of ruler I don't know about, or the kind you use for measuring the length of just about ''anything'' that most five year olds can figure out? * this Troper's brother is named Thomas. Thomas means 'Twin'.guess what we are? * This troper works at a supermarket and regularly gets a customer who wears thick coke-bottle glasses and a large handlebar mustache. His name? John D'Incognito. Really. * I have a cat who goes to a vet by the name of Dr. Fish. * This troper's name is 'Keitha', which either means 'Female Warrior' or 'the woods'. While the first part may not fit, since she is definitely not the brawny type, the second part makes sense, because guess where she lives! * This troper's name has two meanings, one in Latin and other in Greek. Latin meaning? "True image". Greek meaning? "Bringing victory". Now figure out why it's meaningful. ** Is your name Veronica? * My character in the comic book I'm writing/drawing is named Fredrick. I deliberately left out the 'e' in Frederick because now it's Fred-rick (two names, two people). Basically its a shout-out to me in primary school who made up an alternate personality (for want of a better term) to cope with bullying, his name was Frederick McDouginstine - and I've had him since before I can remember. * This Troper's real name, Jessica, was pretty much invented by William Shakespeare. This Troper is a huge Shakespeare fan. * This troper's last name translates from the French as Thousand man.He's is 6'2, 300 pounds ** Millehomme? * This Troper wrote a story once in which a Starship Captain was required to be pretty solid and strong. So he was called Captain Rockford. * This Troper studies a lot. The initials of my given names are an abbreviation of curriculum. * This Troper has seen someone whose last name was 'Ditz'. He was left wondering if she was actually [[TheDitz ditzy]]. * This troper's surgeon was named "Dr. Hurtt." The jokes didn't stop for weeks, and it didn't help that I was about 9 at the time. * This troper considers himself a subversion, his name being [[strike: Dnal]] Donal, the Gaelic form of Daniel, which means "world ruler" or something similar, and he considers himself a fairly laid back person with no interest in being in charge of anybody.

* This troper saw a urologist named Richard Long, think about that. * CandyEntrails' real name is Azerbaijani and Turkish for "left", as in "left-wing". He's basically a hippie without the funky smell. * [[@/{{JennyTheWriter}} This Troper]]'s real name is Jennifer, which is Welsh for pale, fair and white. Needless to say, she is an Irish {{Pale Skinned Brunette}}. * This troper has a StellarName and has a large interest in astronomy...meaningful enough. However, one day my dad decided to tell me a heartwarming story about how he and my mom never actually prepared a name for me. ''Fortunately'' he had a ''wonderful'' inspiration: a brand of an air freshener in mom's hospital room. "When I saw it, I thought: 'hey, Stella's a pretty neat name'. Your mom thought it was funny, and she agreed. So basically what I want to say is you're named after an air freshener. Good thing that name actually works." * This troper is called William and will only fight in self defence (of himself or his friends), having managed to get a yellow belt in karate. This is kinda funny when you realise that my sister is called Sarah (which translates into princess, according to The Other Wiki) and, in my opinion anyway, she doesn't seem even slightly in need of protection from anything (get your minds out the gutter, I didn't mean like that). Also, in a story I'm currently writing, the main character is describing a horrific event which drove him mad. His name (which is a GeniusBonus for fans of horror films and classic writers)? [[AlfredHitchcock Alfred]] [[{{Dracula}} Jonathan]] [[{{Re-Animator}} Herbert]] [[HPLovecraft West]]. Particularly funny when you consider it is written in H P Lovecraft's style. * This troper went to high school with a girl whose last name was German for "fast". She excelled at track and field. * This troper lives in America. One of his teachers has the last name Whitehouse. Three guesses as to what he teaches. * My name is Stephen Oppegaard ('crown' and 'upper-garden'). Despite being a ShrinkingViolet, I'm quite conceited. * This troper fell in love with someone going by the name of Noel over the holiday season. * Subverted with this troper, who was given the middle name Rosamund, but who's family have nicknamed Pansy all her life because she has large blue eyes. * This troper's brother's boyfriend is one of the [[NiceGuy nicest]] [[ActualPacifist guys]] you'll ever meet. His name is Angel. * This troper's ex-girlfriend was named Kate Price, but she called herself Belinda. In Latin, that name means "beautiful serpent". [[{{SmugSnake}} Enough said about her character]]. * This troper's first name means "birth of Christ" and last name means "church". The trope is averted in that I am extremely nonreligious. * "Cameron" literally means "bent nose/broken nose", and refers to someone who jumps into a lot of fights. I've mellowed out quite a bit, but my nose is still bent from being broken in fights. * My last name (sort of) implies that I'm as smart as a machine. * My name describes a holy person of the bible. * At the university [[@/{{endlessness}} this troper]] goes to, there is a teacher whose last names, translated from Spanish, mean "rolling

a road". Sadly, he averts this trope as he teaches Engineering Economics, and not Transportation Engineering. * This Troper's first name tends to have alot of '[[AGodIAm God]]' references.He constantly talks about changing the world on a big scale,for good,his favorite element is Light.His Last name means "The Supplanter" ** His nickname comes with more FridgeBrilliance: His nickname is Mookie.Which means 'To run or flee.'Considering how much I like to keep moving around instead of staying still is one thing.Another thing this troper likes to do is [[ChronicHeroSyndrome help people]].He found out that the term Mookie,was first heard in Spike Lee's Movie titled "Do The Right Thing." * This troper's first name in the Irish references a church - since about 19 years of age it was subverted in that his spiritual inclinations would be closer to New Age types and Wiccans and such rather than Christianity, but played relatively straight for about the first fourteen years of his life (he lost faith about that time and was technically atheistic but searching for his own beliefs nonetheless). However it can also have the Judaic meaning 'victorious', which sums up that when it's time to get serious he wants to always come out on top. This troper's dog's vet is named Dr. Needleman. Another vet in the same office is named Dr. Vogelman. Vogel is German for bird. * Played straight with [[{{Tropers/LittleMissSpaceMonkey}} this troper]]: her name means 'Illusion'. She's a part-time actress. * [[{{Tropers/Ventisia}} This Troper's]] French teacher's name is Frances Campbell. Pronounced "Francais." Our whole class wonders whether she's telling the truth when she says it's a coincidence... * ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zVvYzYdDBg Hang In There]]'' by {{Tropers/Murazrai}} is named as such because its purpose to tell the victims of the disasters that hit Japan to ''hang in there''. * This troper's mother named him Daisuke, A Japanese name meaning "Great Help" and according to my mother, That's just what I was, My father ran out on her when she was pregnant, her parents-in-law (My father's parents) disowned her, claiming that the reason my dad left is that she was being a total bitch and even went as far to say that the baby (me) wasn't his and that she got knocked-up after some (NonExistant) drunken sex party, My mother was emotional mess, and Her parents and the unborn me were the only things that stopped her from slashing her wrists in the bath, after I was born, She got a tattoo on her right arm saying ''"My heart was gone, my life was done, But you, Daisuke, Made me live again, Daisuke, my blessed savior, Daisuke, the savior of my heart."''. I Love my mother to death for pulling through all of this. When my father returned 15 years later, I almost vomitted when he called me ''"son"''. My mother and I told him that he was not welcome here, I threw out the suitcases he brought with him which led to this --> "You can't do this to me, I'm your father!" --> "No, you're just some leach, A Vermin, I don't know you, you're not a friend, you're not welcome here and you are ''not'' my father." * In the language of his country (well, the country my family was from), this troper's name means "winner". YMMV, but I think it's quite

appropriate. * My Last name is Grizzle, which means something along the lines of "complain whiningly" Guess what! Those are two of my favorite plastimes! * This troper (who's going to be anonymous) has the name "Julia," which means 'youthful.' This is pretty accurate for me, both [[TheIngenue in a good way]] and [[AdultChild in a bad way]]. Then there's this friend of mine named "Kelly," meaning 'warrior,' and [[{{Tsundere}} that]] [[HotBlooded certainly]] [[MamaBear fits her]]! * This troper is mostly Irish, and her initials spell "KEG". * Natasha means born before Christmas. Not only was this troper born in October, but she also practices a religion that has elements that existed before christianity. * This isn't as obvious as some of the above examples, but [[{{@/Grimalkin}} this troper]] has a name that means "bee", and has a definite sweet tooth. Also, her Hebrew name means "moody", which she definitely is. ** I'm going to guess Melissa. * My family has a twosome. My name is Skyler, which means scholar. I'm very studious and intellectual. My brother is named Atticus, after Atticus Finch from ToKillAMockingbird. Finch was a lawer, and my brother loves to argue. Conicidence? ** This Troper's family had a lawyer who stabbed us in the back during a civil suit. The name? [[NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast "Krulewitch"]]. * This Tropers first name either means pure or is a derivative of Hecate, the Greek goddess of magic, children, and borders (particularly that between life and death). Troper is tiny, pale, and somewhat childlike. For the other interpretation, she believes in magic, loves kids, and does paranormal investigation in her spare time. ---This link isn't called "MeaningfulName" for nothing, since it brings you back to the MeaningfulName page. ----

MeaninglessMeaningfulWords * One of my classmates loves using 'paradigmatic' in normal conversations for no good reason. He doesn't seem to know what it means... yeah, pretty much it's like [[HansVonHozel Hans von Hozel's]] usage of 'danube'. * ThisTroper had an English teacher who routinely told the class that "meaningful" was the most meaningless word that could be written in any context. It doesn't actually ''mean'' anything. ** Communicative? ** Only as meaningless as, say... "meaningless". Or "meaning". "Meaning" is simply a subjective matter. ** You guys are making my head hurt. ** If a character is discussing say, a book in-character, "meaningful" can have meaning, particularly if your characters' views on literature are important to the overall story. * Have you ever met one of those roleplayers? The kind you wish you

could steal their [[http://www.freewebs.com/gallopingacres/dictionary.htm thesaurus]], set it alight, and then beat them around the head with the burning remnants screaming "They're eyes! EYES!! Not orbs! Or hues! Or one of a thousand other words you use that DO NOT MEAN EYES!!!"? Or is it just me who gets into insanity levels of exclamation marks? ** define:orb on Google gives its first result for "orb" as "eyeball", so apparently at least Princeton agrees with the use. Hues is definitely wrong. Mind you, the iris section would be a hue of some colour. Orbs really is overused in roleplay, to the point where some people never use "eyes" at all. ** It's much worse when people use "orb" interchangeably to refer to breasts and buttocks. Or, well, [[http://community.livejournal.com/weepingcock/381570.html when they dance around with euphemisms for body parts and sex.]] Though use of "male welcome center" or "male vagina" for anus and "hanging wonders" for testicles quickly drives any writing into severe {{Narm}}. *** Let's not forget the ones who never use "fingers" or "hands." It's always "slender, well-formed appendages/digits/whatever has a remotely similar meaning." * [[Tropers/RedWren This troper]] likes to do this quite often for the fun of it. Whenever caught, she [=BSes=] herself out of it. It's good practice for BS in general, and lets her find out who remembers to ask when they do not understand. The silver light of thought flickers through minds lost in shadow of wandering, yet can stay should the mirrors line up honestly. [[supersecretspoiler: Thoughts flash through your mind and can stay if you let yourself think.]] * I have to admit, I understand the page example sentence... O_o ** Did I leave this here and forget about it? (at least for the first example) ** Well, I understood it as well, but I have a fairly high tolerance for PurpleProse. Honestly, Paolini, even in his "poetic" moments, isn't the most extreme example of this trope, as much as I wish he was. * Years ago, not so many that I could say I was "just a kid", but enough for me to go through several English Language courses, my creative writing was full of this trope. Of course, I was fully aware of that, and was never able to write more than a few paragraphs without looking over my writing and realizing how unnatural and forced everything was. Unfortunately, I roleplayed quite a bit in that time, and my writing alternated between the [[BeigeProse two]] [[PurpleProse extremes]] of bad prose. Even now, I have trouble with long incharacter sentences; my dialogue tends to sound forced and unnatural, or bland and nondescript. * This troper likes using her extensive vocabulary. I didn't bat an eye at the page quote, I understood it. This actually gets the hatred of her less-ioquatious classmates. I have a knack for abusing PurpleProse with this. * [[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Tropers/Squidage This troper]] engages this during usual conversations with friends. Not one of them understands me, but I enjoy explaining it. * The tendency of people to use them to make these sorts of

fauxlisophical, nonsense statements to make themselves feel 'deep' is one of the reasons this troper isn't a big fan of tattoos. * This troper had a middle school teacher who was rather easily impressed. She probably didn't even care that most of us were [[PurpleProse raiding the thesaurus]], just as long as we were reading ''something.'' Throw in a few [[GratuitousLatin Latin words]], and hey, instant A! ---Back from [[MeaninglessMeaningfulWords whence you came]]? ---* This happens to this troper a lot when talking to her friends. They will have to stop me so I can explain whatever word/phrase/metaphor i just said. I actually like explaining it.

MeatVersusVeggies '''N.B.: Although RealLife examples are allowed here, please [[RuleOfCautiousEditingJudgment remember that you're not here to bash anybody else's eating preferences.]] You are here to simply share what kind of conflicts you have encountered with persons whose dietary preferences differed from yours, whether you're a vegetarian or meateater.''' * I grew up in a conservative town with a meat and potatoes family. When I switched to vegetarian diet, it wasn't easy for anyone. It turns out some French fries and cheeses are not vegetarian; many soups have beef or chicken stock; numerous candies and gums have gelatine, as well as several butters; some refried beans have lard. My poor mother must have cooked thousands of pots of pasta due to me already being a picky eater. She waited patiently while I read the ingredients on everything, even the things I had read the ingredients on just the week before. Most of the kids at school didn't understand, and a few of them were snitty about it despite the fact I was always careful to not make a big deal out of their preferences. As I told people, you don't rag on me, I don't rag on you. Of course, many people were cool about it. I remember once in Spanish class, the teacher was going to bring tacos to the class and was taking down who wanted what. I told her I didn't want a taco. She, realising it was the meat I didn't want, asked me what I would eat on a taco. I imagine she had to pay extra just so that she could food for a kid who didn't need it (the tacos were a special snack rather than breakfast or lunch). There were instances of classmates and other teachers being accommodating. Now, I've switched back to a omnivorous diet. I still have an irrational loathing towards gelatine, and I'm slightly worried about running into old classmates and them realising I've given up vegetarianism. For so long I subscribed to a belief that more often than not made me the odd one out, who people had to try to accommodate. I'm not sure if they'll think of me as a hypocrite, someone who did it for attention, or just a misguided idiot who finally matured and saw the light. As it is, though, I still think my home-town should have a much larger selection of vegetarian options than it does. * This troper's dad was an enthusiastic meat eater, and described the

process by which his favourites such as black pudding were made with relish. He accepted that I was vegetarian, but never quite understood that he was partly responsible -- one too many stories about where bacon came from over the dinner table. * Gordon Ramsay is your typical angry over-the-top 'everyone should eat meat' guy. He has actually gone as far as tricking veggies into eating things with meat in. * This troper was once in a diner with a bunch of friends from school, and I was sitting next to this smoking hot Israeli exchange student who tried to lecture me about ordering a steak since red meat is supposedly bad for you. She started listing all the things that can go wrong if you eat it, and after considering the fact she was going home in a month and I wasn't going to get in her pants anyway, I replied "And it's delicious" and ate a cut that was almost all fat. * This troper absolutely hates dairy and meat products, not for ethical reasons, but because he cannot stand the flavour, texture, odour, or appearance of it. His parents however, are very staunch meat eaters and will not allow him to be a vegan, so he orders vegan food at restaurants and picks out meat in dishes at home, or simply throw it away. At least he'll get to do eat what he wants when he moves out. * This troper grew up with a vegetarian mom and a meat eating dad - so such discussions were normal in her house and taken in stride mostly. She ended up going vegetarian too - and the transition was pretty smooth with her family since pretty much everything in her house had a vegetarian option already(i.e. don't cook the meat with the spaghetti sauce - let people put it on if they want). She has however sometimes gotten small amounts of trouble from outside her family seeing as she lives in a pretty conservative state. * This Troper will happily tell anyone who'll listen: "I'd rather die with a burger in my colon than live and eat tofu."

MeddlingParents Recovered from [[MeddlingParents Meddling Parents/Real Life]]. Original entry started getting long in the tooth with regard to {{Natter}}, so I'm moving it here. * I have a rather complex case... Starting from Kidnergarden my parents basically kept me out of Public School. I believe it has something to do with a sort of Conspiracy-Theory my Mom has as a belief-system. Believe Me, it's hard to respect other people's crackpot theories when you're the one affected by them. I've also always hated how judgmental most of the church groups around me are, thus I never go. All of this adds up to me not having a friend in the world until I got into an alternative class 2 days a week in Junior High. (Except one who got smashed by a truck when I was 9. True story) * Asian parents. [[BecauseISaidSo Trust]] [[MyBelovedSmother me]] [[OverProtectiveDad on]] [[FollowInMyFootsteps this]] [[WellDoneSonGuy one]]. ** Okay, so I'm replying to my own entry, but I just told my parents I'm gay and introduced them to my boyfriend and my dad took my bedroom door off its hinges and my boyfriend doesn't want anything to do with me or my family ever again. My parents are ruining my life!

*** Oh man, dude. I'm sorry... And I thought that MY parents were bad! * This troper's adult girlfriend lives with her parents out of convenience while she attends college. She still has a curfew of 10:00 and must keep them informed of her whereabouts at all times. The parents are polite to her boyfriend's face, but behind his back they warn her that men are liars and not to trust him. She has been informed that if she spends a single night at his apartment, she will be thrown out of the house, even though she's ''paying rent.'' She is attempting to transfer to another college so she can move on campus, and her parents are attempting to convince her not to move out (despite the earlier threat) because they think she can't handle being on her own. Most assuredly TruthInTelevision. ** It's okay. Parents like that usually get their comeuppance when the child they've mistreated for so many years decides it's time for them to be shut away in a shitty state-run nursing home where they're ignored and forgotten, and die old, cold and alone where nobody can even hear them weep. Poetic justice, to be sure, and a harsh reminder that what goes around comes around. *** And, I should add, assuming all goes well with your relationship with your girlfriend, it might be good to opt never to tell your children anything about her parents. That way the annihilation of their personalities will be complete - a lonely, pathetic, miserable death, burial in a shallow, unmarked grave (or cremation with the ashes tossed in a dumpster - Remember that these people are not human beings, they ARE garbage), nicely capped off by the people who would matter most to them ''not even knowing they ever existed'' or, at the very least, not ever knowing who they were. **** Better yet, take the ashes, piss on them, and then stamp them into the dirt. *** Or take the less vehement approach, and remind them that when they're older, it will be HER responsibility for them to get into a nursing home and she could do research and check them into a thirdrate one and not come to visit. In short, threaten to do everything that the above tropers suggest. **** I vote that after making the threat, unless they pull a complete 180 and start treating your girlfriend like nothing less than the empress of the universe, you go through with it anyway. But you really should visit once or twice at least. Not because they deserve company or caring or love, but because gloating and shoving their misery in their faces is that much goddamn fun, and anyone who would try to control their children past the legal age of majority does deserve to be made as hellishly miserable as can be managed. Make them suffer for how they treated her and make sure they know ''exactly'' why you're doing what you're doing. Would it make you and your girlfriend [[CompleteMonster complete monsters]] who've blown by the MoralEventHorizon at warp 9? Probably. Would you be wrong for doing so? FUCK no. *** They're her Mom and Dad. It's too cruel and harsh. She should do it in an epic verbal smackdown, not that way. They gave her life, after all. *** I'm hoping that all this is sarcasm... * This troper's parents. Won't let her go anywhere without discussing

it with the other party's parents, won't let her go out on her own or ''walk back from her bus stop despite the fact it's 5 minutes away from her home'' because apparently the roads are too dangerous (this troper's done it before and survived, as have hundreds of other people who do it every day), won't let her stay out after about 10.30 or stay up past 9.30 despite the fact that ''everyone else does it and is perfectly fine the morning after''. * My friends parents are like this sometimes, with not letting her go out before shes eaten her dinner, not letting her stay out too late, stuff like that. She is 20. Im 19 and my parents dont mind what I do, but disagree with drinking and wearing too short skirts and make up. * This troper started a relationship withe someone over the internet, only for the parents on ''both sides'' to disapprove (though mine more so). he is now with another girl and I'm back to being single... * If it wasn't my mom trying to pair me up with a boy where it was a 'we love to hate each other like quarreling brother and sister' relationship (I'm RELIEVED he moved to Washington to go to college), it's her CONSTANT accusations that me and my best friend are lesbians. Granted, we could be as close as siblings, and she's almost an AnythingThatMoves type, but WE ARE NOT TOGETHER! SERIOUSLY! She especially alluded to this after we dropped her off from a movie and I went upstairs to give her a 'goodbye hug' as I told my mom. Granted, while I DID hug her, that was mostly a lie, as she had drawn a fanservice picture of [[{{Axis Powers Hetalia}} England]] for me, and I wanted to get it without my mom snooping around. I'm tempted to show her the image JUST to get her off my ass about this, as it's obviously a mostly-naked-guy in the picture... * This troper's dad could be this. He's a semi-Agent, repeatedly pushing me to get my Eagle Scout done (my brother already has his and I've only got a year left). He also repeatedly tells me that I could do better in school, and also criticizes me for being on the internet while I'm doing homework (it's called ''multitasking'', Dad! A lot of people do it!). * My mom? Needs to know ''exactly'' where I'm going, with whom, ''exactly'' what time I'll be back by, and I am expected to call if I go ''anywhere'' that isn't the designated place. I'm eighteen. And she haraunges me about going out with friends; gee, ''I wonder why''? * My mom *always* tells me that I'm not allowed to have anyone over every time I'm left home alone, always tells me she feels like a bad mother for leaving me(despite the fact that I'm a junior in high school) and once made me call to order pizza for dinner...at 3:30 in the afternoon. Because she didn't want me ''opening the door for the pizza guy when I was home alone.'' My repeated protests that I didn't want to take AP Calculus were also ignored completely.

MediumAwareness * [[@/SoWeAteThem I]] had one dream which involved me walking through an elaborately designed building with a fountain, roughly-hewn stone walls, and a lot of naked ladies. Nights later, I would walk into the exact same place by accident, looking for a government building. It's empty, save for a half-dressed male walking past. The following

dialogue ensues: -->'''Me:''' ...This wasn't the place I was thinking of.\\ '''Him(jokingly):''' At least not consciously, right?\\ '''Me:''' Right. * This troper once wrote a short story about a group of friends realising that... well, they were in a short story. One of them even abused it and said "I'll be back in the penultimate paragraph." before walking out of the room. * This troper has a habit of looking at the fourth wall in Real Life. Think [[AsideGlance an aside glance]], except I actually think I'm looking at something. Strangely, nobody has yet asked me what the heck I'm looking at... ** I'm really glad I'm not the only one that does this now and then... ---Hey, anyone seen the link to the Main Entry--[[MediumAwareness Oh, there you are!]]

Medusa * [[{{Tropers/Xzenu}} This troper]] once had a LawfulGood DungeonsAndDragons character named Slithera. Her class was Paladin, and her race was Medusa. She used her gaze to petrify people for convenient storage in her BagOfHolding, using this for criminals she captured as well as for political refugees she helped sneak out of the evil empire. She rarely used her hair snakes in combat, even though It was ruled that the paladin code ban on poison applied to putting poison in someone's food or envenoming a blade, but not using the natural bite attacks of her hair. ** She always did feel a bit guilty about serving the LawfulGood God instead of the NeutralEvil Goddess or at least the NeutralGood Goddess - in ScarredLands, the Medusa race traditionally belong to those goddesses and to the LawfulEvil God - all three of them being the divine children of the Titan who created the Medusae. ** In his own campaign, Slithera's mother and two sisters was included as clerics of the NeutralGood Goddess Madriel. That was the main justification for why the local town was safe in spite of the countryside being overrun with an invading army of lowlevel hobgoblins for the (starting at level 1) characters to kill. Their petrifying gaze was also a convenient tool for keeping ChaoticNeutral characters under control while in town, without any guards having to harm them. These medusas was more or less antagonists, but only because the characters was NOT good and made a point of roleplaying it.

MeetCute * This troper met one significant other during a {{Fora}} game, where we repeatedly commented on one another's oddly similar avatars. Apparently, we had BelligerentSexualTension to the rest of the {{Fora}} for quite some time. * A friend of this troper met his significant other (a, before that point, perfectly straight male) in the most sickeningly contrived way possible: the friend was cross-dressed for a theme party with some

friends, and the gay-bar they were at got boring so they went bar hopping. Apparently his costume was [[EvenTheGuysWantHim freakishly]] [[DroppedABridgetOnHim convincing]]; after the truth came out, the soon to be S.O apparently [[HaveIMentionedIAmHeterosexualToday grappled with his sexuality for months]] before asking him out. * This troper was at an airport gate in Germany waiting to fly back to the States when he started talking to a nearby girl who had overheard a comment and thought it was directed at her. As unlikely as it sounds, we were seated next to each other on the 9-hour flight, and got to know each other pretty well, and exchanged contact information (and a kiss) once we landed. Sadly, she had to catch a connecting flight to another state while I went on home, but we stayed in touch and even visited each other several times over the next couple of years. This troper's friends frequently told him it was "like something from a movie" when they heard the story. ** That really IS something from a movie. * While cuddling on a lawn on campus with a bunch of friends for absolutely no reason, this one girl came along who was friends with some of the people involved in said cuddle orgy. She got sucked into it and ended up holding hands with this troper. We're now going out. ** Cuddle orgies?? Just because?? Where did you go to school? I think I feel like continuing my education! * [[DexX This troper]] met his wife in an online game, long before such a thing was common. The year was 1993 and the game was an alltext MUD called The Asylum. He was literally a knight in shining armour, and she was a new player on the MUD for the first time who decided to join the knights guild. Cue many years of "Where did I find you anyway?" "In an asylum!" quips. Thirteenth wedding anniversary in March! ** Massive win for you and the missus. Um, by any chance, can I join that MUD?... * Of all the [[CityOfHeroes video games]], of all the servers, of all the islands, of all the rooftops, [[SkarmoryThePG This Troper]] had to boredly land on one to ridicule something in a fellow player's description, but decided to stay and RP a while to see if they actually warranted ridiculing. She didn't. Oh lord she didn't. ** Of all the games, servers, and rooftops, he landed on mine. Our first anniversary comes up in May. ** Aww! * Although [[{{Momonga}} this troper]] subverts this by meeting all her love interests in very mundane ways, she's had several memorable platonic meetings: ** One of her oldest friends is from preschool. They met when friend said to this troper, "Here, I saved you a swing." ** Another old friend is from first grade, and he befriended this troper because they both had [[AnyoneRememberPogs those gimmicky light-up shoes]] (hey, it was TheNineties). ** In college, this troper was on a bus when she saw a guy with a shirt that read [[DungeonsAndDragons "I roll 20s"]]. Being a huge geek, she commented, and he was so shocked and happy that he gave her his screen name on the spot. ** And finally, the first time she met one of her friends in person,

she was humming [[FinalFantasyIX "Melodies of Life"]] when he joined in, whistling; turns out it's one of his favourite songs. * Want to know how this Troper's parents met? Her Mom's cat fell onto her Dad's porch. They talked for hours when she went to get it back. * This troper's met at a party held by a mutual friend. Now, that dosn't sound very cute untill I mention that said mutual friend was perpetually late, even to his own parties. Mom was visiting out of town and staying at his apartment, so she was setting up when my Dad came in exactly 45 minutes late, because he liked to be on time. They were the only people there for a good two hours more so they started talking and found out they had a lot in common. * This troper made (platonic) friends with another troper through mutual PerverseSexualLust for a particular video game character. To this date they still share some fairly dirty ideas about said character. * Now to add a sense of horror to this otherwise nice page, My friend's Aunt met her husband after he microwaved and killed her cat. Married for quite a few years. They aren't nice people. ** Best. Story. Evar. ** That's not Meet Cute. It's Meet Terror. ** Now that's funny. * This troper met her now-boyfriend at an anime convention. He was wearing a Death Note T-Shirt, and I was cosplaying Fire Emblem's Guy and attempting to beat a level on said game in the AMV room. He happened to sit right behind me, recognized me from school, and we thought nothing of it. Cue a few months later when we end up in class, and... * Another platonic meeting (well, mostly) - I was at my first anime convention with a friend from college. I was exploring the video game room when this cute, genki-ish girl came up and offered to glomp me (she was attempting to glomp as many people as possible over the weekend.) Now, unfortunately, my college friend had a girlfriend at the con, leading to my abandonment during most of the con. Being quite introverted, I was somewhat at a loss for what to do, and I wound up making my way to the friday-evening rave. I ran into the same girl, struck up a conversation, and essentially latched onto her for company for the rest of the weekend. A good four years later, and she's one of my closest friends (and an on-again-off-again crush). * [[TheAtroxious This Troper]] met one boyfriend on DeviantArt while she was trying to stalk his best friend. Turned out that his best friend didn't at all mind, and she and the guy wound up going out. For a while. [[DoggedNiceGuy It]] [[StalkerWithACrush didn't]] [[LoveMakesYouEvil end]] [[IfICantHaveYou well]]. ** This troper met his girlfriend on deviantArt. She was his very first watcher. :3 * This Troper was first contacted on MSN by his girlfriend when said girlfriend was asking him to convince his [[HeterosexualLifePartners Heterosexual Life Partner]]to ask a mutual friend a mutual friend out on a date. That one conversation ended up lasting around seven hours and covering topics from [[StarTrek Star Trek]] to [[AzumangaDaioh about]] [[DeathNote twenty]] [[CowboyBebop different]] [[GhostInTheShellStandAloneComplex anime]]. We had our first date on

1st January 2009. The two friends never did get together though. * A close friend of this troper met her future husband through a traffic accident: he wrecked her first-generation Ford Mustang. While waiting for the tow truck, he asked her out, and after that, they were inseparable until he recently passed away. * This Troper met her current boyfriend when she sat at his table for dinner one night. He mentioned how much he liked StarTrek, and two hours and about 100 StarTrek references later we agreed that we were each other's future spouses. * This troper's parents met in college. Her mother was walking in the rain with her umbrella, and offered to share with her father. He looked up, and all my mother noticed was his big, brown eyes. * This Troper met her boyfriend when they were working in a communist bookstore. * This Troper met his girlfriend through Deviant Art first. It started more as online buddies, then we swapped MSN's and then she out of the blue asked if I had a webcam. After a while I agreed and the first words on the screen? "You're cute." Cue hiding my face in [[LuminescentBlush embarassment]]. Then we talked for hours and bonded really well, she of course shared her webcam too and she is lovely. Currently long distance but if everything goes right, this year we will literally get closer. I feel like I could have worded that whole thing better... * [[{{Tropers/Popette}} I]] met my boyfriend when I was staring at ''FinnegansWake'' looking utterly confused in the quasi-permanently deserted town library. He walked up and said, "It's never going to make sense, you know, but if you want I could help." ** This story is so ''ridiculously cute''. I love it. * This troper's parents met-cute in a ridiculously coincidental planescheduling accident. I forget what city they were in, but he was headed to Boston, and she was headed to Chicago. Her flight was cancelled, and she had to choose between flying back the next day, or connecting through Boston. Guess which flight she chose? They wound up sitting next to each other, and despite the long distance, this troper's future existance was confirmed. * This troper's parents met on a cruise ship. My mother was in the casino, kind of drunk and in an extremely unflattering outfit, and met my father when his younger tomboyish sister ran past and he was chasing after her. At first the relationship was kind of odd (my father is six years younger than my mother) but, surprisingly, they discovered that they only lived a state away--my mother in Michigan, my father in Ohio--and they've been happily married. * This troper's parents met on a blind date with two other friends; they boated out into the middle of the lake when the motor died, and they were stranded for hours. * I made a (platonic) friend like this in high school. I was walking down the hallway and I overheard him saying something to someone about missiles and landmines being needed in a future city. I disagreed and decided to tell him that, even though we'd never talked to each other before. It's been seven years and we're still friends. * This troper and her...something...met like this. We had both been given the wrong schedule on our first day of class and had to wait for

an hour in an empty hallway; we quickly realised that we were the only two people in one of our weekly seminars. By the time we actually got our schedules fixed, I was [[LoveAtFirstSight halfway in love with her]]. * This troper met a guy on the train who was reading ScottPilgrim and wearing a FinalFantasyIX T-shirt. My heart leapt and I started talking to him and got his name before he had to get off. A week later I found him on facebook and more importantly, his blog in which he had written an entry about the mysterious nerdy girl he had met on the train. Apparently he had been blown away by my nerdiness and my Keybladenecklace and had tried to find me ever since we met. We went to see HarryPotter 7 and Scott Pilgrim together. [[GeekyTurnOn He had dyed his hair red and was wearing a Hogwarts uniform]]. That boy is wonderful. * This troper met his best friend at a [[DungeonsAndDragons D&D]] game at college. No, she wasn't playing. She was in the same room doing her chemistry homework. I helped her while waiting for my fellow players to go. I later helped her make her first D&D character. Our friendship stayed quite platonic - in fact, we now call each other [[LikeBrotherAndSister brother and sister]]. * This troper met his best friend playing Warcraft III. More accurately, playing a Pokemon-themed Maul map. And his ex in an anime forum, which he joined by chance. * This troper's parents were both involved in the local opera scene, and happened to be be paired up as dance partners during a scene in one of the shows. They're been happily married for thirty years now. * I met my best friend at age fourteen in high school when my pencil broke. She sat behind me and lent me her pencil sharpener. Ten years later I was her maid of honour at her wedding. * The first boy I kissed I met because I'd bought a portable sound recorder the day before which I had fallen completely in love with. I was stalking around a corridor in music practice rooms, looking for things to record, and heard a pianist trying to play a riff in time with a metronome and failing. I recorded eight seconds of audio before he caught me doing it, and vocally made his displeasure known. Then it turned out that he'd been living in the room opposite to mine all this time. Also, there was kissing in there at some point. * Good god, this troper's first few meetings with the boy he currently likes were so this trope. First time they meet, they end up getting having to have a table discussion. --> Him: So you're Korean? Do you speak it? --> Me: *scribbles something down on a piece of paper* --> Him: What does it say? --> Me: I love you. And then the second time, when they have to work together on a biology project... -> Him: *writes down his last name* --> Me: Wow, cool last name. I wouldn't mind marrying someone to have a last name like that. Smooth. Real smooth. And this was all before I even liked him. * This troper was ordering lunch at a diner, and happened to know the guy behind the counter and offered a bit of encouragement before

placing my order. The girl in the next line over spun around and said "You are so polite!" "Um, Thanks?" I responded. She stuck to me like glue after that. I thought she was something of a ManicPixieDreamGirl at first with her ecstatic behavior, but when we learned that we had many mutual friends and that we both were fans of Series/DoctorWho and {{Firefly}}, [[GeekyTurnOn were practically inseparable.]] * Even though my parents worked together (my mom was a receptionist), the first time they spoke was in an elevator. ---Back to the [[MeetCute time we first met]]. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

Meganekko * Done right This Troper does indeed find girls with glasses incredibly hot. His last girlfriend had glasses but she didn't wear them often, and he'd tease her about her looking cuter with them on. * [[@/GwenStacyWannabe This troper's]] boyfriend says she looks better with her glasses on. (But she doesn't believe him.) ** I'd have to see what you look like with and without the glasses to be sure, but your boyfriend sounds like a wise man with refined tastes, and I'm so jealous of the bastard I can barely see straight. *** [[BlindWithoutEm Without your glasses on?]] Sorry, [[Tropers/GwenStacyWannabe I]] [[DeadpanSnarker had to say it]]... ** Hon, trust this troper, guys don't lie about these things. If you were ugly with them, he'd conspire to have them lost or destroyed. Or at least...I would.... ** Trust your boyfriend! Even if you do a world-wide survey and it turns out you look better without the glasses, if your boyfriends tells you that you look better with them, that's because for him, you DO look better with them. * This troper has taken off her glasses and had her guy friend say, "You just lost your hotness and smartness." Let's just say he doesn't possess the "smartness" part... ** [[CompletelyMissingThePoint Isn't that lacking tact more than intelligence?]] * I go into super librarian/portable dictionary mode with the glasses, I'm BlindWithoutEm, and my teachers think I look better with them on. * This troper's ex-girlfriend/best friend is a true to death {{Meganekko}}. She's pretty much a supermodel with them off, but when she puts them on....Oh. My. GOD. * This troper, who is reasonably good-looking, finds that she looks better with glasses on. It's a good thing I'm BlindWithoutEm and only bother with contacts if glasses would be highly impractical (or if I'll need to wear sunglasses), I suppose. (Of course, considering my personality, they'd probably be ScaryShinyGlasses if I was an anime character.) * There definitely is! When I found out that my boyfriend, who I met on the Internet, wore glasses in real life, I nearly fell out of my chair.

* This troper's ex girlfriend and best female friend are meganekkos, though the latter fits the personality better, whereas the former wasn't happy when this troper mentioned the trope. * Without [[@/SharmHedgehog my]] glasses on, I look hideous. With them on, I'm ''gorgeous!'' ^_^ [[spoiler:[[DistaffCounterpart Here's the thing though: I'm male.]]]] * I fit the stereotype. I'm shy, intelligent, and quite a few people have called me cute. [[spoiler: I'm also a guy too.]] ** Said thing could be said about me as well. since [[spoiler: I'm also a guy as well.]] * [[@/AstraKiseki This troper]] is used to people looking better with glasses... provided they are the ones who pick them. People pick ones that look good on them. That includes herself. * This Troper has had an unrequited love, who's beautiful enough. She got glasses. Good god, why must you torture me so? ** This Troper feels your pain. ** Are you me? ** He's probably me. More like a crush, but that's because I'm restraining myself. ** I may be one of the girls mentioned above. I'd like just a moment to remind you that I don't bite. You can talk to me! * This Troper got glasses at age 17, and went into school. Absolutely no one noticed, and when questioned, said "didn't you always wear glasses?" I was apparently so nerdy that for 6 years people had simply visualised glasses on me. * This troper keeps hers to one side as a secret weapon (much like [[SailorMoon Mizuno Ami]]). She finds they add a saucy, [[DeadpanSnarker Katharine]] [[HotLibrarian Hepburn-esque]] note to her otherwise [[{{Kawaisa}} 'innocent']] face. * [[@/JuiceBoxHero This troper]], upon realizing that she'd never get dates by acting like [[HelloNurse a total slut-babe]] that is identical to the other slutbags at my school, has resorted to a [[MoeMoe different approach]], which matches [[TheCutie my disposition]] [[ManicPixieDreamGirl ten]] [[{{Kawaiiko}} times]] [[AdultChild better]]. The fact that she wears glasses helps tenfold with her cutesy-poo image, as I look weird and absolutely hideous without the glasses. Additionally, one girl once told me that TheGlassesGottaGo. So I bitch-slapped her. * This troper has worn glasses since the age of five. She last bought a new pair during freshman year of high school (she's a senior), and she just isn't ''herself'' without them on. Even if they do make her look a little cartoonish. * A girl I have a bit of a thing for today tried on her friend's glasses...WOW. Pity she took them off so quickly. ** She did it again yesterday. * Swoon* * In a bit of an inversion, I don't look really good with my glasses on, but people have told me I look drunk or baked, or both, if I'm not wearing them. * [[@/{{Turtleducks}} This troper]] bought a pair of non=prescription glasses, just so she could have some to wear. She adores the [[Meganekko]] look, really. ** [[@/{{Jadey}} This Troper]] too! (Highfive!)

* [[@/{{Momonga}} This troper]] (who wears contacts) is currently playing a character in a tabletop RPG who is half a meganekko: she wears a monocle (as does this troper while playing her, to get into character). * [[@/JCruz This troper]] has a female classmate that looked [[GenericCuteness [=OK=]]] before she got glasses. But after getting her glasses, she suddenly looked very cute. ** Also, he just got to start reading [[FlunkPunkRumble Yankee-kun To Megane-chan]] specifically because of the title. And true enough, a {{Meganekko}} for a main character! * This troper found out that the girl he has a thing for also wears glasses, he almost died of happiness right there and then. * This (Male) Troper is hoping for a reaction like this when he go back to school.He just got glasses. * This Troper. Whether she fulfills the [[ShrinkingViolet Shrinking Violet]] part of this trope depends on the situation. In familiar company, she prefers a [[KuuDere somewhat]] [[DeadpanSnarker different]] [[CloudCuckoolander approach]]. * When this troper found out she needed glasses in the fall, she was ecstatic. The first pair are pretty cute, but nothing special. The other day, she bought a second pair that she refers to as her Harry Potter glasses. They actually look pretty cool. * [[@/TaelNightengale This troper]] has worn glasses since she was six. She considers them part of her face now, and feels weird without them on. ** Happens with anything you wear. I, @/MutantRancor, (a male, so not this trope; rather, [[StoicSpectacles another]]) have worn glasses since age four, and feel strange without them. However, to prove the point, I started wearing a [[NiceHat hat]] every day a couple of months ago, and now I feel weird without it. Same with my (totally unnecessary) belt about four years ago. ** This happens to other people seeing you. My best friend couldn't find my because I wasn't wearing my signiture denim-and-red hoody. Also, I've had my glasses two years. I took them off once during registration: -->Teacher: "Where's Phe?" -->Me: "Right here, sir." --> Teacher: (Does Double) Take "Oh, yes there you are." * [[@/TsundeRay This (male) troper]] kinda [[BlessedWithSuck dislikes having good vision]] because he wants to wear glasses. So instead, he wears glasses without lenses, a carry-over from a recent {{cosplay}}. However, instead of making him look more attractive to his friends, they end up asking him what's the point of wearing lensless glasses. ** Same with [[@/CanvasWolfDoll this troper]], having a pair from a play he did, but the person who got them for me removed the fake lenses (a girl who, by the way, no one likes).Fortunatly, no one notices the lack of lenses until I purposely stick my finger through them. I stopped wearing them after my mom yelled at my for wearing the glasses (and I also stepped on them by accident). * After years of trying to get her (hot) short-sighted girlfriend to ditch contact lenses in favor of glasses (which make her look even hotter but she only wears at home), this troper feels guilty because

she feels kind of sad about her finally getting eye surgery, and thus losing every chance of ever succeeding. ** In a somewhat surprising turn of events, said girlfriend is now sad about not wearing glasses anymore and is considering getting clear lenses for her old glasses in order to wear them for purely aesthetic purposes. So... yeah? * This troper used to wear glasses, but switched to contacts. Her male friends, upon learning this, asked her to try on their glasses. After being told she looked old with them on, she was asked to tie up her hair in a bun. Hot Librarian fetish??? Or simply Meganekko? She's getting ahead of herself. * @/{{Dinru}} fits the personality sort of. Although without her glasses, she's fairly un-pretty. With them, she's HollywoodHomely at best. Slight subversion? * This troper has three friends, all of which have glasses and she still insists they look better with them. Especially the [[ShrinkingViolet quiet, dark haired, shy one.]] * One time, my best friend accidentally fell asleep with her contacts still in, and woke up the next day with really irritated eyes. Because of this, she couldn't wear her contacts and had to wear her glasses, which she hadn't worn in a long time. When I saw her next day in school, I thought she actually looked cuter with them. Or at least she would have, were it not for said eye irritation. * This tropette's had glasses since she started secondary school (almost 3 1/2 years now), and two of her friends have tried to ask her out. * [[@/{{Bookhobbit}} This troper]] has had a love of glasses since she was very, very small. She used to wear lensless ones, but in fourth grade or so, she had to get real ones. She's been told she's cuter with them on. She definitely has the personality of the standard meganekko, being a ShrinkingViolet bookworm. * This troper knows a couple of girls who are cute, smart, and best of all [[{{Main/DeadpanSnarker}} snarky]]. At this point he considers the glasses a part of them (well, there's that and the fact that if they take them off it's like [[{{Main/BeautifulAllAlong}} staring into the sun]]). * This troper is unable to be physically attracted to someone without glasses. in fact, this troper finds conventionally "hot" people quite unattractive. Extra points if it's a "homely" girl who doesn't qualify for {{beautiful all along}} or a vaguely muscular [[{{bitheway}} guy]] who would be rated about average. [[FreudWasRight This tropers mother also wore glasses]]. * In this Troper's opinion, Glasses are to Girls what Bacon is to Food. ** Or the ''au jus'' to a french dip sandwich. * [[@/AliasofaWartortle I]] like glasses me. Contacts won't do, I don't look like myself without 'em on, and I prolly forgot how to put one on, by this point. I even get all droopfaced if something happened to 'em, this pair in particular. * [[@/MalachiteDragon This Troper]] is apparently a male version of this. He looks good enough while not wearing glasses (and he's not too fond of wearing them to begin with, he must admit) but when he finally

does relent and puts them on...well... He almost had his ex humping his leg, lets just say that. * [[@/CountLunaOrlok This Troper]] has glasses, but only wears them when his sight is really tired, or when he plans to read a book for a whole day. However, before knowing his girlfriend, he used them (along elegant clothing, some gentleman mannerisms and talking quite elegantly, as This Troper like to play "The Nobleman"). Girls said they loved how I look with those glasses and the elegant attire. Male Meganekko, maybe? Ironically enough, my girlfriend likes me without them. And she looks incredibly hot with them. So much I carry photos of her with glasses in my Nintendo DS. [[{{MoeMoe}} Amazingly cute]] meganekko [[{{OlderThanTheyLook}} young girl]] ftw. * [[@/{{Poke2201}} This Troper]],who is a guy, and many other people lose their non-violent BadassBookworm status after losing the glasses. In a school of 350 something, every one you know with glasses is either a BadassBookworm or a Meganekko. So now we cant take off our glasses or some of the students think were about to kick some butt. By the way, about 90% of the glasses wearers are Asian. * When [[@/GoatBoy this editor]] was 18, he had a huge crush on this woman who worked at Newbury Comics. She was 28, had short, black, curly hair, and big glasses. Also, she wore a beatnik sweater. * This Troper is a {{Meganekko}} and is pleased to date someone who thinks its cute. She also wears glasses because an old friend told her she looked better with them on. * [[@/{{DrMcP}} This Troper]] qualifies as a {{Meganekko}}; while she technically only needs her glasses for reading, she finds that she looks much better with them on. Also she fits the stereotype by being generally sweet & smart, and has often been described, [[{{Kawaisa}} to her eventual chagrin]], [[{{Moe}} as "cute"]]. Especially with the glasses. * In [[@/SalFishFin This Troper's]] opinion, there exists a fine line between being [[{{Kawaiiko}} cute]] and being [[{{Fanservice}} hot]]. He knows a girl on his choir who friggin ''flosses'' with that line on a regular basis. She's short enough to be considered a TokenLoli (relax, she's 17), with MostCommonSuperPower and HartmanHips like it's going out of style. Okay, now the relevant part: She does wear glasses, and This Troper finds that not only is she much hotter with the glasses, But It's a lot easier not to fall guilty to the MaleGaze when she's wearing them. and trust me, [[TroperTales/InnocentFanserviceGirl there are tons of opportunities to fall guilty]].. * Subverted big time with this (male) troper he dislikes glasses although he has every reason to wear them he has poor eyesight (although its so poor the glasses really do nothing) and his girlfriend has a glasses fetish but he still doens't wear them * This Troper was delighted when she found out her vision wasn't 20/20. She loves to read a book while wearing them and watch as everyone assumes that she's smart and cute. Or, at least, that's what her glasses-fetish-y mind is geared to assume... * This troper's girlfriend wears glasses and is quite possibly the source of his glasses fetish. In an amusing twist, this troper is near-sighted and requires his own pair of glasses for reading

chalkboards and such. He's gotten several comments while wearing them from both his girlfriend (who has her own glasses fetish) and female classmates. * This troper serves in Finnish Army and has a crush on a female medic who serves in his unit. Undfortunately the regulations don't allow relationships between recruits. Oh and shes meganekko. * I had a crush on a girl like this. The way her glasses supported various facial expressions (like disbelief or concentration) made her so incredibly cute. * Everyone says that I look better with my glasses on. * This troper has been told that she looks good with glasses and has been told that she looks plainer without them. In fact, she's been thinking about including her glasses with her prom dress ensemble this coming June (it invokes the Lady in Red Trope!) * Deconstructed with this troper: I used to like girls wearing glasses, but I recently ended a relationship in the most painful way; Now, what it used to be some kind of fetish for me, now just reminds me my love failure... * [[@/{{Luna 87}} This Troper]] is this. I got glasses when I was thirteen. As most early teens are, I was afraid of getting teased about them, but was ecstatic that nobody cared, and a lot of people thought that I looked nicer with them. On a side note, I, too, find both men ([[{{Bi The Way}} and women]]) with glasses more attractive. * This troper absolutely loves her old-school square black-and-green frames. Other than that, not much of a meganekko, because of my natural BoisterousBruiser LargeHam CloudCuckoolander personality. * Subverted with this troper: while the girl I am in love with wears glasses, I actually think she looks cuter without them. (That is a subversion, right?) I have a different female friend that looks weird without her glasses. * I must've been a total subversion of this trope because I wore glasses starting from the age of four on and could never get a guy to look at me twice. I enjoyed the ritual of putting glasses on and felt like they comfortably hid me away from others, but they were such a burden during those days when I couldn't think straight, and I couldn't even get a guy to be friends with me because I looked so nerdy. Six years ago I got LASIK surgery, after about two decades of wearing glasses, and now guys don't run the other way when I approach. It's probably a societal and regional thing, along with my feeling ridiculously unattractive during my glasses-wearing days. * This troper's friends always go one about how I look so much better with my contacts in and my hair styled. Then my boyfriend told me that I look better with my glasses and a ponytail, which makes me happy because it's so much more comfortable. * [[@/ThoseDancingDays This troper]] recently got glasses, and now it seems her entire social life has gone through the roof. * This Troper has a good friend who sometimes wears glasses and sometimes doesn't. She's [[Moe: adorable]] either way, but the glasses just complete it. * This Troper has always wanted to wear glasses, but she has 20/20 vision and therefore doesn't need them. But she has always thought people of both sexes look more attractive in glasses, to the point of

losing interest in some guys she had ''huge'' crushes on when they switched to contacts. * [[@/{{Cornhole}} This Troper]] has taken a liking to Meganekko girls (it's impossible not to) and is quite in a dilemma concerning whether he should be thankful for his healthy eyesight or not. * This troper doesn't wear glasses, not even sunglasses, but does like them quite a lot. Once when she was in early elementary, she tried to fool the nurse into letting her get glasses. She couldn't keep up the act, and considering she has 20-20 vision, it backfired and ended in embarrassment. * Deconstructed with this troper. Having to wear contacts to bed overnight for four years despite having perfect vision in elementary school was what essentially ruined her eyesight and made her get glasses in middle school. She wishes she was making things up when she tells people it wasn't video games, spending extended time with her computer, sitting too close to the TV, or reading by dim light that made her wear glasses. * This tropette has been told that she looks like a completely different (and apparently cute) person with her glasses on. * I wear glasses, and I think i look much better with them on. * This troper has dear friend whose adorable with or withour glasses. Sure she's a senior in high school but she also looks like she's much younger. She's cuteness personified. * This troper has had the misfortune of meeting, basically, a real life [[Anime/StrikerS Quattro.]] Yeah, she acted nice at times, but when the grades came in, and she got higher than some guys who wound up with C-'s, which was good for them, she went right up to them and said, "This just proves you are all worthless trash, even on a good day, you all still cannot get anything above a C. You probably aren't going to college...people so inferior will work in McDonalds forever." One of them tried to hit her, and needed to be restrained, because the teacher never heard her comments and only saw the nice little MegaNekko. ** This is played straight with this troper's sister and some of his friends. * Zigzagged with this Troper; everyone thinks he looks better ''without'' them, but he personally thinks he looks a ''lot'' better with them. Thankfully (or not?), his degree of astigmatism will ensure he never wears contacts any time soon. Incidentally, he also has a thing for Meganekko women, although that's probably because of his middle school choir teacher (more on her in the SexyMentor Troper Tales page), * One of [[@/{{Tadaru}} this troper]]'s favorite Japanese teacher of all time is one. She is and looks very much like [[ReadOrDie Yomiko Readman]], though as of late seems to be going off the glasses. :< * This Troper has a friend who is very cute and pretty. But when she puts on her glasses, she becomes so much a ''{{Moe}}'' that it is impossible to not want to hug her. The fact that she has an English Accent only adds fuel to the fire. * This troper's girlfriend doesn't need glasses, but she wears nonprescription ones sometimes just to tease him, invoking this trope and its appeal to him. This troper is lucky.

* This troper has a friend who wear glasses and looks great in them. When she takes off her glasses, she looks significantly less cute. * The girl I currently have a crush on is a meganekko to the extreme. Never seen her without her glasses, though, so I cannot testify to if she looks better without them... * This troper has a family friend in Japan who fits this trope perfectly - huge glasses and pleasant personality included. Funny how she's not a girl anymore and she's in ''her mid 60's'' but she still counts. ** Same troper counts herself as one, although focusing more on the smart aspects than the pleasant ones (I can be an outright bitch sometimes) * [[Tropers/{{Incom}} This troper]] has worn glasses since second grade. He finds that 99% of girls look better in glasses. He still wonders if this is a coincidence. * This troper had the hugest, HUGEST crush on this girl. She was the real deal: smart, talented, quirky, nice, and of course the glasses. Too bad it didn't work out. We're both just regular friends now, but she pretty much sparked my interest in glasses girls. It's seriously difficult for me to even try to NOT notice any cute girl if she wears glasses. My friend/bro doesn't get what's my deal and prefers girls sans glasses. Oh well, his loss. * This Troper knows a girl like this. She Subverts the trope because even without her glasses, she's still the cutest girl in the entire school. Perhaps Subverted again in that she's not the nicest girl around. But damn, she is adorable. * [[Tropers/DOmen I'm]] going after a girl who looks both hot and adorable with her glasses; I'll admit they are a big part of why I became interested in her. I'll update this entry if something happens. ---Would you like to return to {{Meganekko}}? (^)-(^) ---<<|TroperTales|>>)

MegaNeko * [[MmmKay This troper]] has two cats, one came first and we though she was huge because of her balloon belly (she produced too many kittens!), and then one of her offspring had an offspring that turned out... '''''HUUUUUGE'''!!!'' She's the most immature one of the bunch, and she's big, fat, 'n' heavy. In contrast, the other cat was just fat 'n' [[{{Understatement}} grumpy]]. * This troper has a male cat who's the biggest she's ever owned. He's around 20 pounds. It's not that he's overweight (although he does have a big gut), he just has large proportions like a big head, big paws, etc. He looks like a brown/black tabby, but he ''must'' be part Maine Coon (the biggest domestic cat) to be that big. Such nicknames include Mr. Big Paws, Big Boy, Fat Ass, and so on. * Had a maine coon kitten that topped out at 23 pounds. He acted like one of the dogs too, always trying to fetch things and coming up to me

when I whistled. * I had a silver tabby who got pregnant by a lynx. She had four very large kittens the one I kept growing up to be a massive cat, and very sweet, he was rather dim. * This troper's since-deceased Alpha Cat, Maxwell, who weighed 20 pounds easily, had a spiked collar, and could puff out his fur sufficiently to scare 100-pound-plus dogs. ** Similarly, this tropers great-uncle's cat Blackie. He apparently likes to dig his claws into you when you hug him. * This troper used to live with a truly huge, sweet-natured Turkish Angora cross named Hercules. Not after the mythological hero, after the transport plane and its engine. That's what his purr sounded like. ** This troper lives with a 22lb Maine Coon/Ragdoll mix named Kittypie. He purrs when you hug him. * This troper used to make jokes about a {{Kaiju}}-scale (50 foot tall was the usual cited height) catgirl [[{{Meganekko}} with glasses]] named Mega Neko before this trope existed. * [[{{Tropers/Allronix}} This Troper]] used to work at a Humane Society. We got this ''thirty-three'' pound Maine Coon mix in at one point. Not a fat cat - just very orange, muscular, and ''massive.'' Completely unflappable, which was a good thing. The only cage we had that would fit the big lug was in the puppy section. * I've got a calico cat whom has to have some bobcat or something in her somewhere. She must weigh like, 24 pounds, and even though I call her 'Chubby Butt' a lot, it's not all fat; She's just that massive. She also thinks she's a dog, or at least a particularily hyperactive, troublesome kitten as she follows me around, climbs on my lap, sleeps on my face, is always bringing me toys, and I've walked in on her more than once literally chewing up a manuscript for my latest novel. She is named after the slightly violent goddess of change, Kali, and your mileage may very on how fitting that is, I s'pose? ** Hmm... great size... doglike behavior... not just fat... is she part Maine Coon? * I have five cats. Four of them wandered onto our back yard a few years ago. Those four cats are now huge with the biggest one being the 35 lb. Leonard. He's not just fat, he's also somewhat muscular. He's actually built similarly to [[SuperMarioBros Bowser]]: big, heavy, and very solidly built(as well as fat). He's also rather slow and can't climb trees. Despite the cat's size and bulk, he's capable of catching birds, mice, and even rabbits(granted, it was just a baby, but still). This big kitty loves to lay on our laps(or in front of us if we're on the computer) and has earned the nickname of "Lap Lion". ---[[MegaNeko Don't go back]] with the smell of fish on you. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

MeleeATrois * On the topic of the ''SuperSmashBros'' example--yes, complete with

the sudden alliances. In ''Brawl'', during a particularly long gaming session at a convention, anyone who picked certain characters over and over was going to be ganged up on. Later, once the tournament began, the very first fight ended up on the retro stage, Jungle Japes from ''Melee''. Three of the four fighters immediately went after one another, while one person, who had chosen Pikachu, just stood on one of the side platforms and performed Thunder every time anyone else got near the platform. Guess who ended up finishing in fourth in that match. Cheap techniques earn you enemies ''really'' quickly. ** [[PentiumMMX2 This troper]] had a similar experience to that when he played a game of SSBB against 2 of his friends; except, because of [[StopHavingFunGuys a rule one of his friends forced onto the rest of us]], every match in a 3-way free-for-all wound up becoming a 1-on-1 match with an extra character standing off to the side doing nothing. Literally 100% of the time, I was stuck as the extra character (By will of the one who created this rule), who had to wait for one of the "main characters" to be defeated before I can do anything; anytime I tried to do anything other than standing out of their way, the other two of them would drop what they are doing, team up, and defeat me with little effort. * Whenever this troper goes LARPing, many of the fights turn into this. * This troper's fencing club occasionally plays games of house-ruled Capture the Flag, since everything's better with swords. Needless to say, ganging up on one opponent happens fairly often. * Oh god, you HAVE to try this with Yu-Gi-Oh.Teaming up to beat the tough guy,then stabbing them in the back and taking them out in one shot.Nice... * This Troper had observed this in one Warhammer4000 game. He was playing [[HordeofAlienLocusts Tyranids]] while his two friends were playing [[AlwaysChaoticEvil Chaos Marines]] and [[BloodKnight Orks]] respectively. The Troper captured all but one of the objectives. The two allied against me, but as I was fending off the Chaos Marines, the Orks suddenly attacked the Chaos Marines' flank. I then gleefully watched the fireworks. * This troper and her three sisters once deliberately set one up. We had three swords, and the three who had the swords would duel each other (alliances not allowed). When one of us was killed, she handed her sword off to the fourth sister, and the fight actually went on for some time. * Despite being an adult, this troper still engages in pool noodle sword fights with her father and brother from time to time. * I ''caused'' this in a Warhammer40000 game with my friends once. We went with an alliance-style match: One side had the Imperial Guardsmen, the Sisters of Battle and three Space Marine Chapters (Ultramarines, Blood Ravens, Grey Knights). The other side had Orks, Chaos Marines and the Dark Eldar. Finally, to keep things interesting, as the Eldar, I was the one neutral faction that served as an xfactor. We came up with a few good tactics to kepe things orderly while we fought: ** The Orks were the main attack force (naturally), meant to keep their opponents busy by overwhelming them with numbers, while the

Chaos Marines and Dark Eldar served as the heavy hitters, dealing critical blows to their opponents to drive them off. The Guardsmen were the main line of defense, the Battle Sisters were the main assault force, and the Space Marines were the heavies. I had my special units cloak to could pick off entire companies one at a time, while remaining cloaked; when the Orks were heading out for the attack, I sent out my regular footsoldiers to take on their Warboss, then called for a retreat, sending out my assassins to take him out for good once he was just about to die. The Orks went into a panicked prenzy; with such a blow to the Ork units' morale, they attacked the Dark Eldar, Chaos Space Marines and ''each other''. Once the Orks started rampaging, I unwittingly pinned the Chaos Marines and Dark Eldar against one another as well, and let the three-way face-off continue uninterrupted. Then I assassinated a Commissar nearby the Battle Sisters; the Battle Sisters fought off both the Guardsmen and the Space Marines, eradicating much of the former before getting wiped out themselves. By then, the Orks were wiped out, while the Chaos and Dark Eldar licked their wounds and retreated. While the Blood Ravens went after Chaos and the Ultramarines went against the Dark Eldar, I attacked a Commissar and a Chaplain at the same time, luring them to a narrow part of the battle map so I could assassinate them both, and making it appear as if the Commissar and Chaplain killed one another. This was where I was randomly attacked by Necrons and Tyranids; they wiped everyone else out, then went against each other. MindScrew. ---Temporary alliance is over; let the Main/MeleeATrois resume. <<|TroperTales|>>

MemeticBadass * Me, somehow... Everyone seems to think I will save the universe, and proceed to take it over. With a SpiritBomb made of water, no less. * Me my mom and batman ** batman is sort of our families version of chuck norris. Also, my brother and I are geeky enough to argue over "who would win" on occasion. In reference to a demotivational this exchange occasionally takes place: *** Q: "lelouche vs. light yagami" *** A: "BATMAN" ** My mom is former counterintellegence. When she first saw the trailer for "the men who stare at goats" she suddenly goes "NO WAY, I can't believe they declassified that, just shows you how long I've been out of the loop." In a room filled with my classmates. Despite the fact she was always more of a paper pusher she's now treated (half jokingly, half with awe) like a total badass by my friends. ** I'm quite proud that at summer camp in D.C. I was voted "most likley to take over the world." I was quite supprised and am still not quite sure what prompted it. * This troper's precalc teacher is basically this. He was formerly an Air Force sergeant who saw combat several times and nowadays, during lunch in the cafeteria, he has done such mystical deeds as TAKING OUT

a 6'3" linebacker when he was beating up a kid and getting the entire cafeteria to sit down with one hand. It has since become the ultimate punishment to "sic Mr. Jackson on you". * This troper is basically a Memetic Badass at our school. My generally polite nature, love of trenchcoat in winter, formal and equal tone with all, and improv mastership has created this. I knew I acheived this when, on the first day of school, some freshman walks up to me and says, "Oh, wow. Hi, Brian!" I AM A BIOTIC GOD! * According to everyone at my school, I will one day rule the world. I have several people asking if they can be vice-ruler. I told them all no. * [[{{Tropers/JCCyC}} This troper]] is a Facebook friend (and long time Internet friend before that) of the protagonist of [[http://www.enterprise-journal.com/articles/2009/10/11/news/01 this story]]. (In case it goes offline, the lady was bitten by a copperhead on her backyard, went into her house, grabbed her .45, and [[DisproportionateRetribution emptied]] [[MoreDakka two clips]] [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill on the snake]].) This troper's Facebook status discussion has become a litany of Chuck Norris facts transposed to Jill Childress. With some original material, such as: --> Chuck Norris tried to roundhouse-kick Jill Childress, but she shot his, er, [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean snake]] [[GroinAttack first]]. --> Jill Childress [[SnakesOnAPlane has had it with these motherfucking snakes in this motherfucking yard!]] * [[{{Tropers/LordGacek}} This troper]] has an example out of [=RPG=]. Once upon a time, he and his brother were participating in a game. His brother's character - "Avanidius" - was over two meters tall giant with maxed out physical stats, clad in [[SpikesOfVillainy spiked]] [[PoweredArmor power armour]], fighting with [[DropTheHammer concrete maul]] and wielding [[ShockAndAwe lightning-based psychic powers]]. The best part? The character was imagined as a ''diplomat'', only the idea somehow got on its head during character creation. Since then, my bro used the name for several other characters, and it's become equivalent with somewhat of a BlackKnight. * This troper was subjected to this, despite his earnest refusal. A guy broke into our house, probably to steal a computer or TV or something, but he didn't realize that I was home, and so I pulled out the sword that's sitting in my closet and threatened him with it. My brother told a guy at school, and it exploded from there. I am now apparently the victor of an epic duel between myself and a nemesis from the great beyond, whatever that means. it's screwed up. ** No. It's awesome. * Among the people [[{{Tropers/KillerClowns}} this troper]] plays SuperSmashBros with, various characters have developed these sorts of traits: ** [[SuperMarioBros Luigi]], most of all. He ''is'' TheAntichrist, a conduit of [[EldritchAbomination unspeakable horror]] and [[UltimateEvil greatest manifestation of evil]] in all of TheMultiverse. His [[strike:Super Jump Punch]] [[DeathOrGlory Antichrist Uppercut]] is to be ''feared''. Recently, I've taken to informing people "[[YouCannotGraspTheTrueForm you cannot grasp the true form of Luigi's attack]]!" whenever I perform his Final Smash.

** [[{{Pikmin}} Olimar]] takes a close second, as a brutal, slavedriving CorruptCorporateExecutive. We still aren't sure whether he tutored, or was tutored by, {{Vince McMahon}}, but the two are definitely connected. ** [[PaletteSwap Pimp]] [[SuperMarioBros Bowser]]. ** [[FZero Captain Falcon]] is [[RealMenWearPink comfortable with his sexuality]]. Contrary to accusations, he's not a HardGay; [[DepravedBisexual he's nowhere near that picky]]. ** [[FireEmblem Ike]] is [[TestosteronePoisoning manliness made manifest]]. ** Ganondorf's [[GameMod Balanced Brawl]] [[BadAss iteration]] is a completely different character than his [[IneffectualSympatheticVillain unmodded version]]. *** You too? This Troper came up with his favorite one for kirby. He is an escaped mental patient who lost his memory being shipped to hell. The plain crashed, and he regained his memory thanks to a pychic, and started actively seeking out redemtion. Typed from the new mental institute they put in next door last week. * Of all the characters in Chrono Trigger, Marle has become the memetic badass of Lumine Hall, [[{{Tropers/Drowzee64}} this troper's]] favorite forum. In canon, she's the least badass character, [[AlternateCharacterInterpretation unless you consider Magus to be a brooding guy who won't get over his sister.]] * For this troper, [[CrazyAwesome Emperor Norton I]]. * For this troper, it's my high school's varsity football coach. When he is not defending the school from a zombie invasion single-handedly or fighting his arch nemesis, the evil Dr. Steele and his asteroid destroying ray of doom, he is watching us from the trees. * I'm an inversion. Memetic Nonbadass. People around me call it pulling a * my name here* whenever someone does something ditzy. * [[{{Tropers/HersheleOstropoler}} This troper]]'s girlfriend tried to make one out of Jeff Bridges on {{Twitter}} in January 2010. * After watching ''{{Braveheart}}'' in Western Civ class, this editor keeps making up William Wallace Facts. A sample: The Scottish tradition of tossing the caber was started by William Wallace. However, he used a redwood. ** Same editor here also sees [[{{Iji}} Asha]] this way. An example fact, the way he switches from using a sword to using a gun? That's not a nanoweapon. He just juggles between the two while teleporting. [[{{Captain Obvious}} Using one arm]]. Also, his invincibility and new attacks in the second battle with him were caused by him overdosing on a mixture of Powerthirst and Brawndo beforehand and surviving the energy overload through his own manliness. (Speaking of which, if I ever get a good recording program, I am ''so'' going to make a video using the Powerthirst audio and appropriate clips from Iji) * [[{{Tropers/TheGreatMatt}} This troper]] and his friend truly believe that [[HalfLifeFullLifeConsequences John Freeman, who was Gordon Freeman's brother,]] is a literal god. * [[{{Tropers/NoLimit}} This troper]] and his group of friends online likes to pretend the Janitor from ''{{Scrubs}}'' (yes, we also capitalize his title) is an unnamed god who can instill fear into and defeat anyone in battle with only his mop and "ammonia bombs".

* In a Let's Play! of Pokemon Red that I found once, the PC named his rival "CRAIGER" because..."CRAIG" isn't evil enough, and what to villains have at the end of their names? "er". The Joker, the Riddler, so on. I just so happen to have a friend called Craig. I have managed to start a small group of worshippers for this real-life Craiger out of respect for his Craigosity. The Craiger will eat your soul. With tabasco sauce. Also, another friend, Ryan, is described as being a tank. * [[{{Tropers/Meshakhad}} This troper]] has become one in his D&D group. I was telling the others about my krav maga training, and its emphasis on [[GroinAttack kicking people in the balls]]. The DM said, "So when we see dozens of people in the street clutching their balls, we'll know that [Meshakhad] was there." * For no reason at all, in an online game, [[{{Tropers/Eilios}} this troper]] hyped up some random person I saw in a lobby to the status of "greatest person ever". Since they quit forever afterwards for whatever reason, the only proof of their badassery is in my tales, which get more extreme as times go on. People are starting to go along with it. * This Troper and her dad have a few memes, for example: --> The Goonch is the most badass fish ever. EVER. --> [[TheChroniclesOfRiddick Riddick]] is equal or superior to Chuck Norris in badassery. * This troper has some among her friends ** [[MetalGear Liquid Snake]] is the AntiChrist. And he's coming for YOU. (Based off of Ursula/Elisa's prediction in Portable Ops). ** [[{{Naruto}} Kisame Hoshigaki]]. [[UnusuallyUninterestingSight Nobody mentions his sharkiness]] because those who have never live to tell the tale. ** Somewhat inverted with one of this troper's friends for some time. ''Everything'' bad that happened was that friend's fault. Even the dinosaurs going extinct. ** This troper's own brother, which is only accentuated by his title. What is that title? [[CrazyAwesome King Jeremy]] Chris. ** Kulture here, and I've reached Memetic psycho status at my sixth form, and my running joke is that I can "Make a few calls." or that "All problems can be solved with adequate application of murder." * This troper's friend is part Memetic Badass part Memetic Villain. He's actually a nice guy (but enjoys playing up the memetic villainness for all it's worth) which makes it absolutely hilarious. * This troper and a friend managed to make our organic chem professor from TheDumbledore to BadassGrandpa. To the point where we said that he ate students souls using the blood of infants as dipping sauce, and to wash down the souls. * Everyone on the [[OrderOfTheStick Playground]] ''knows'' the Admin Roland St. Jude is more than a mere mortal. There is no mind control, and we will go back to our fun. * [[{{Tropers/SquealingSandry}} This troper]]'s [[BadassGrandpa grandfather]] was so badass, she literally did not know or care about martial artists (and still doesn't really know who ChuckNorris is. Did he lose against Grandpa once or something?) until finding TVTropes. He is Grandpa: Destroyer of Jerkass Boyfriends, Perfecter of the

KubrickStare, and Finder of All Items Lost. * [[{{Tropers/AngryBob}} This Troper]] is apparently one of these, but isn't referenced to as such more than once or twice a month. * This Troper and her brother have a Mii named Ted. He's gained galactic fame as a super [[WiiSports athelete]]. He's won the lottery at least 8 times. A god at the [[WiiMusic castanets]]. His perpetual cheerful grin and sexy 'stache have made women swoon and grown men weep. * [[{{Tropers/CallsignEcho}} This Troper]]'s boyfriend is in the Navy and is aquainted with a couple Navy [=SEALs=]. He attended school with one in particular, and the frogman's habit of being a WalkingShirtlessScene, EstrogenBrigadeBait and having a hot wife resulted in [[EvenTheGuysWantHim ''both'' of us getting major crushes on him]], and spawned many a meme between us. ** The only reason he takes his shirt off all the time is because no shirt can contain the awesomeness that is a Navy [=SEAL=], and must be given regular breaks throughout the day. ** Actual conversation: -->Me: ...and then my friend knocked him out with one punch! -->Him: Wow, your friend sounds tough. -->Me: ''Super'' tough. -->Him: Navy [=SEAL=] tough? -->Me: Don't be silly. * This lurking Troper's former high school principal (former as in I am no longer a student, he's still there) is a relatively short, bald, quiet (doesn't raise his voice, doesn't address the student body much, etc) guy who has gone through Marine Boot Camp. As such, he is presumed by me and my sister to be an epic badass who only works at the school as it is on a hellmouth, contains his secret headquarters, or something else awesome. This year's prom has notably received bomb threats...so now I'm imagining him fighting terrorist in the hall the prom is held in using only his tie and a hunting knife. * My sister and I, at about 11:00 PM, decided that Kyle Justin, TheAngryVideoGameNerd 's guitar guy, is the most badass thing ever. We even described the process of his birth. -->''As soon as Kyle Justin was brought upon this Eatrh, he shone as brilliantly as the stars. The doctor who delivered him was temporarily blinded and immediatly blessed. Every patron of the hospital, be it patient or employee, fell to their knees and wept with joy. Over in Rome, the Pope's Kyle Justin senses went off and the bells of Notre Dame rang by themselves. This alerted Quasimodo that Kyle Justin had just been born, and so he threw himself off the tallest tower of Notre Dame and began soaring over the city, pissing rainbows and shatting out gold on the residents of Paris. A baby Benzaie looked up and declared his first words. What were they? "Kyle Justin!" Back at the hospital, Kyle Justin immediatly picked up a guitar and composed Freebird, playing it live in front of his mother and the doctors. His father, in the other room, shot fireworks out his ass upon hearing the first couple bars. And that, dear children, is how Kyle Justin was born.'' ** If he ever reads this, I think I might die. Of what, I'm not quite sure.

* One of my classmates, Derrick. He's really not a very strong percussionist, his grades aren't that great, and he's sort of socially awkward. Yet he's sort of the freshman class's celebrity of sorts. Odd. * This Troper ([[strike:yes, with capslock on the T]]) and her best friends have declared themselves the Asian Mafia with her Asian friend as the leader. She herself is a badass ninja while another one of her friends is the female equivalent of Chuck Norris. This started during dinner at a restaurant. * {{Tropers/Keredis}} hunts by emotion. If you don't feel, he can't see you. Keredis can only be hurt by himself. Much like a phoenix, Keredis's tears can cure all injuries; or could, if he ever cried. Keredis cannot be found unless he wants to be found, and he never wants to be found. Keredis can walk through walls. * My friend Alex and I refer to the [[Left4Dead Left 4 Dead]] Tank as being "an unstoppable engine of violence and rage." That's not the memetic badass bit, that's a basic description. No, ''that'' comes in with [[SuperMarioBrothers Peach]], who Alex once described as being kinda similar to the Tank. Now what he ''meant'' was her ability to pull up turnips regardless of the surface she was standing on, but when my response was a baffled ''"...She's an unstoppable engine of violence and rage?"'' we decided that was funnier and it stuck. * This Troper did it to himself and his best friend. Apparently, if either of us became possessed by a demon, the other would perform an exorcism and then we would beat the demon mercilessly into submission and enslave it. ItMakesSenseInContext, honest. * This Troper's English teacher is often joked as being the devil, as it is said that, to pass his subjects, you need to sell your soul to him. I wish I was joking about the last bit. Interestingly enough, I was the person who started the meme off with my English class and it leaked (although I suspect everyone who hadn't been in his lessons had feared the meme was true before it became a meme). Due to his nature of putting the fear of him into everyone, he is hardly helping to stop the meme, to the extent that my friend doesn't believe me when I tell him the truth (He is not really a devil, but it is a good idea not to annoy him, unless the class brought ear plugs: they'll need them, seriously). My friend has an elevated version of the meme (which he kinda invented himself, after his first two encounters with said teacher): that said teacher doesn't have a good side at all ([[FridgeLogic Which means that he would be heard throughout the school almost every second school is on]]). I've seriously considered trying to get my English teacher to disprove the meme to my friend, as his inability to believe me has been going on for three years. [[{{Understatement}} It is a little bit annoying now.]] * After hearing about [[Main/LeCopsSportif the CRS]] (basically an anti-riot squad) from our French teacher, a friend and I decided that they were a BadassArmy who regularly crashed into houses through the windows, slammed the occupants to the floor and shouted: "OU ETES LE MOTHERFUCKING '''DROGUES'''?!" (meant to mean "WHERE ARE THE MOTHERFUCKING '''DRUGS'''?!") * This troper's friend Foo has become a bit of that among certain people, as she noted recently. in various ways.

* This Troper wears a fedora with a feather in it, for kicks. The feather is around 2 and a half feet long (its a peacocks wing feather, the ones without the eyes.) Since how I wear it brings the tip of it up against my temple, it is basically an antenna, I can tell when someone is touching it. I have a strict 'don't touch my feather' rule. This being high school, the underclassmen (I was a junior at the time) decided that it was uprorious fun to try and sneak up on me to touch my feather. Being alert, I usually caught them at it and they would back down. One time, however, someone had the gall to actually take my feather out of my hat. I about-faced, grabbed his arm, twisted it, and took it back, telling him "Don't touch my feather!!" He punched me in the face. We both got suspended for a few days, although I was able to convince the administration that I was the victim. When I returned to school, SOMEHOW I had apperently almost broke his arm just by twisting his hand like a doorknob, then flipped him over my back and beat him down, and my feather was apperently attached to my head. I did nothing to dispell the rumors, because hey, it kept people from touching the feather ;D * Once a bull escaped a nearby farm and ran onto the playground while all the elementary school kids were at recess. The janitor played rodeo clown with him long enough for the police to arrive, and from then on all of the kids made up stories about how he had wrangled elephants and such. * Me and a few of my friends have two. [[AzumangaDaioh Osaka]], who can take down Chuck Norris just by looking at him (because who could dissagree with THAT face?). and [[WallE M-O]], who, after attempting to draw him in an action pose for a drawing excecise, then seeing him try to clean an enemy into submission in a scene from the movie, has been given the [[FanNickname nickname]] "'''''ACTION M-O!'''''" (capslock and exclamation mark required). * My psychology & shop teachers both carry around hammers to silence talkative kids; the shop teacher is a 60-something old man who destroys motorcycles just to re-build them (or, force select students to rebuild them under the fearful eye of his beard and the hammer). As a result, my entire school sees the shop teacher as one of these. I myself have been describing my psychology teacher as one of these, mostly because he is able to silence the single most obnoxious and talkative kid in the entire school. "Mr. [Name] will whack you with his hammer if you don't shut up and force you to write a paper on how that makes you feel." * This Troper is somewhat one, more specifically her [[KubrickStare Kubrick Stare]]. It has gone on to the point where many believe that if she stared at someone long enough, the poor individual would spontaneously combust. Yeah. * This Troper has become something of a Memetic Genius/Mad Scientist at both his high school and college, most likely due his interest in science (particularly the cutting-edge physics stuff), a head stuffed full of random trivia, and a lifetime wish to become a time traveller. Yeah, I'm [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial 100%, completely, certified normal]]. * This troper and her friends have memetic badassed her freshman year bio teacher(whose class she hated for being so hard when she had him).

According to us, he made everything, including himself. If we're in Academic Challenge and have absolutely no clue what the answer to a question is, the answer is always "Doctor [teacher's name]." The "Doctor" is mandatory, as he himself tells his classes. * This trope and his friend were at an amusement park one day when they saw a particularly stern looking young boy (7-8) in a wifebeate standing in line for a ride. They got in line and observed that when this magnificent creature got on the ride, he didn't smile once, and held his arms crossed the entire time. When the boy got off of the ride, he ran off at a brisk pace. We saw him at the picnic table area hours later, still by himself, and still not smiling. He sat at his table for about five minutes, before wordlessly running into the bathroom, then running out later. My friend and I were ''sure'' that this child was a hitman, and that he left a body in the bathroom. It has since become a threat for us to say that we would bring in the assassin kid. * Among this Troper's friends it is said,from playing SuperSmashBros with this troper,that Princess Peach could fight [[DragonBall Goku.]] ---> Friend: Everytime you K.O. Peach,you give her a fresh life and time to [[CurbStompBattle beat the hell out of you.]] ** He himself has become this among family and friends.As my dad stated to mom,when she worried about me walking around late: ----> Dad: People know why they shouldn't mess with him,and if they don't know,they'll find out. * This troper technically ascended to badass (hmm...I see a new trope title coming up!) due to a change in coat, a more grounded personality (as in, swearing becoming more frequent, often combined with polite speaking) and a different attitude to work. Hell, the person who first said this is one of my school's big men! * This troper's former chemistry teacher. He has dual degrees in organic chemistry and physics, and knows something about everything (almost literally). One time, he slipped in the school parking lot, snapped his femur in half and still walked into the school to call an ambulance. He was on the team that invented Velveeta cheese. Through several years of classes, he evolved into a former spy/scientist for the government with a BiggerOnTheInside Geo Metro that could purportedly teleport, who could MacGuyver anything into anything. He also had insane ninja skills, could transform into a dragon and built a sentient calculator. * You: "Who do you think you are?" Me: "I'm the Goddamn Batman!" P.S. I think Justin Bieber inverts this trope. * Me: Similar to a troper early in this page, my school believed I would conquer the world. I also like to make references to things I have apparently done, including... ** Conducting the music on the Wii's menu with the London Symphony Orchestra ** Killing several clones of one person, explaining why they were always back in school the next day ** Inventing sliced bread ** Inventing the Internet ** Finding a magical pair of sneakers that made me God at foosball * This troper has developed this while at college, though she's

somewhere between MemeticSexGod and MemeticMolester. It doesn't help she's been told she's like [[{{Firefly}} River]] and somehow earned the nickname [[AxisPowersHetalia Russia]]. At most I'm BadassBookworm, I haven't even done half the stuff my friends have decided I have. MysteriousPast and being the unknown new kid from an unknown place will do that I guess. * This troper's Classical Civilisation teacher in sixth form was a quiet, softly spoken middle aged guy who's most remarkable trait was the ability to take pretty much anything in stride, which given that Classics had attracted more then its share of nuts and oddballs was fairly impressive. This troper isn't sure how it happened but the aforementioned oddballs decided that such calmness in the face of strange behaviour was proof of hidden depths and spent a fair bit of time theorising what said depths contained (apparently there was even a website devoted to the subject). Among other things it was generally agreed that he was immortal, was Odysseus, and once fought and defeated the Loch Ness Monster. * This troper and his friend once watched Twilight out of sheer boredom, and by the time we were done one of the actors had achieved this status. We were too lazy to actually look up his name, so my friend dubbed him Little Depp (he thought he looked like a young Johnny Depp). We had concluded that Little Depp was the true master of the Cullens, as they all served him out of fear. As they should, the sheer power of Little Depp is enough to destroy all who oppose him, and THAT IS WHY ALL SHOULD LIVE IN TERROR OF THE AWESOME MIGHT OF THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE POWER OF LITTLE DEPP!!!!!!!! * A variation with [[Tropers/X2X This Troper]]; he's known as a Memetic {{McNinja}} by his friends from high school and college due to his ability to blend in with the shadows and sneak into just about anywhere without making the slightest sound or drawing attention to himself (he also happens to be a MomentKiller for this reason). When they found out that he was a [[IKnowKungFu Taekwondoka]] who could manipulate his voice to make odd, disturbing noises, they started referring to him some kind of assassin with [[TranquilFury thinlyveiled rage]] who could kill anyone when they least expected it. While This Troper will admit that he's a NiceGuy [[BewareTheNiceOnes who has his moments when his buttons are pressed hard enough]], it's not ''[[{{Understatement}} quite]]'' to that extent. Needless to say, he finds the comparisons (and a few nicknames) to be hilarious. * Duct tape. Just duct tape. * Apparently, this troper is a memetic badass to his wife's coworkers. I don't know why. Probably the way she's described my military time, martial arts training, and my "dead eye look". When I was two I was bit in the face by a dog, causing slight muscle damage in my left eye. when I get tired, or sick, my left eye will droop slightly, giving me a "Dead eye". Their opinion astonishes me. I've only actually met her co-workers once or twice, and I'm not a violent person. My wife thinks its hilarious that they think I'm cool. * This troper is the Class Superhero in her Media Studies class; if our class has a group discussion about making up a fictional movie, this troper supposedly has to star in there somewhere. * This troper is a memetic EvilOverlord, despite being quite the

justice-loving pacifist. I don't know... Maybe it's the {{Magnificent Bastard}}ry ? The usual SlouchOfVillainy ? The occasional AGodAmI sentences ? Or perhaps the abuse of {{Xanatos Gambit}}s for any possible motive ? Anyway, I can't even fill a "What are your projects for the future ?" form without being suggested to write "Rule the World" on it, and no discussion on DeathNote can be made without me being compared to Light Yagami. ** Same troper here. Beat a new record in that domain... being bought a frickin' replica of the DeathNote for no other reason that my memetastic reputation. Badass ? To the point of tearing pages of that DeathNote and hiding them in a Yagami-esque fashion. * One IT technician at this troper's school has become a legendary hero due to his ambiguously ethnic appearance and tendency to leap down flights of stairs in an unusually epic fashion. We call him 'The Ambiguously Ethnic IT Guy' and are in the process of writing his theme song. * My sister walks into a bar. It bends. * This troper's family has memetized, of all people, the seemingly incompetent hero Captain Fantastic from the proto-{{Monty Python}} series "Do Not Adjust Your Set" as THE MOST AMAZING SUPERHERO IN THE UNIVERSE. Anyone able to negotiate with umbrella-people and be mentioned within the same sketch as the phrase [[BeyondTheImpossible "the first man to drink the Channel"]] is clearly superior to all. (Although it was later determined by exhaustive research that he would fight to a draw against Grover Cleveland.) * This troper is one amongst certain peers in her computer programming class, mostly due to a combination of [[TheSmurfettePrincipal being the only girl in the class other than the teacher]], being fairly good at programming in general, and being such a CloudCuckooLander[=/=][[TheDitz Ditz]] that you'd never guess otherwise. (And yes, somehow someone who operates on a completely different plane of logic than the rest of the world is good at one of the most logic-intense things ever. I dunno how it happened either) * At this troper's school, there was a guy who was the AFJROTC commander his senior year, vice commander the year before that, and got one of the most important staff positions his freshman year. He had the shiniest shoes and the highest grade ever, and got every button, ribbon and award possible. All subsequent ROTC members have referred to him as God, and my little sister, who's in ROTC, literally swears to him. * This troper has developed a reputation for omniscience. No matter where, when, or how, if you have a conversation involving her or anything she's interested in ''she will know''. The truth is, I just have really good ears, and an inability to tune out sounds due to a [[DisabilitySuperpower disability]]. * [[{{Tropers/MisterVercetti}} This Troper]] has become a Memetic ''Academic'' Badass amongst the students in his major. Whenever a professor makes a note of a particularly high score on an assignment or exam, everyone ''immediately'' assumes I'm the one that got it. (It doesn't hurt that about 85% of the time, they're right.) * For this troper, it's pretty much [[OnceAnEpisode bound to show up]] in any given {{Fanfic}}. It's usually an already established

{{Badass}} ([[YourMileageMayVary for some]]), or at least someone who's just CrazyAwesome. To elaborate: ** ''Forgive Us Our Trespasses,'' a ''FullmetalAlchemist'' fanfic, has [[VoluntaryShapeshifting Envy]], who is referred to by one of the OC's as "Bastard-sama". ** For ''[[FullmetalAlchemist Fullmetal]] [[EdEddandEddy Eds]]'', there's [[CloudCuckooLander Ed]], who's so far killed a chimera by [[TheGlomp hugging it to death]] and utterly [[MegatonPunch pwned]] Cornello in the same chapter. ** In ''Alchemy Of The Soul'' (a {{Crossover}} of {{Fullmetal Alchemist}} and {{Soul Eater}}), it's [[spoiler: Chrona]], who slices [[spoiler: Envy]] in half and towards the end of the story, [[spoiler: kills Lust!]] * This troper is this among her friends solely because she owns a sword. A real one. Never mind the fact that she's a bookish, easilyfrightened teenage girl, [[{{Aladdin}} she's got a sword!]] As dorky and ridiculous as the notion is, I'm proud. * This troper's mom is this among her friends. My mother is a career military woman who regularly refers to the 6'5" Navy SEALs she works with as her 'little brothers'. The running joke is that my mother has the entire US Navy at her command and will deploy it, all of it, in my defense should anyone annoy me enough. The funny bit is my mom has no idea that she's a memetic badass within our group. ---[[MemeticBadass Go back]], if you think you're ''bad enough''. * [[CompletelyMissingThePoint Bad? Like the]] [[MemeticMutation Power Glove]]? * This troper has a couple with friends... ** [[SuperSmashBros CAPTAIN]] [[FZero FALCON!]] The [[MegatonPunch FALCON....]] [[MemeticMutation PUNCH!]] is one of my most used phrases. ** [[SonicTheHedgehog Sonic.]] [[BadAss Like him]] [[NaRm or not,]] he is pretty awesome. Despite him having.... [[JasonGriffith that guy]] as his voice actor. ** [[MotHer3 Lucas.]] He is the most [[BadAss Badass]] [[TheWoobie Woobie ever.]] Also, he's so damn cute! ---<<|TroperTales|>>

MemeticMolester * I could reasonably be considered a MemeticMolester in my group of friends because of my GayBravado/facade of being AnythingThatMoves, but especially my facial expressions. My friend said that I looked like a chimpanzee jacking off (only through my facial expressions, since there wasn't anything more you sickos). My response was to stare at her even harder, making her [[UnderStatement slightly uncomfortable]]. Of course, I've never done anything more than creep my hands on their legs (like calves)...which is admittedly creepy. Which makes it all the better. * I can't speak for the rest of the fandom, but I can't help but see

[[SuperRobotWars Ryusei Date]] as one of these, just because of the way he's eying Kyosuke in OG1's character select screen. * This troper and her friends coined Bradwood, the master of [[LaserGuidedAmnesia Dememoria]]. He's an elven-looking boy (acutally a de-aged soldier, but that's a long story) who lives together with another boy and a woman they call their grandma. Cut to the first playable scene: Said other boy wakes up with a look of pain in his face (unintentional... probably) and remarks that he can't remember where he is. As he walks down the stairs, he starts remembering that this is his grandma's house. Now add the imagination of a bunch of nerds on energy drinks. ** And then someone came up with "He's among us. -->StockPhrase: Ugh... what happened? And why does my butt hurt? * In the aftermath of a [[NoodleIncident particularly fateful game of "I Have Never"]], this troper gained this status among his friends. ---Back to MemeticMolester. I'm innocent! I swear!

MemeticMutation * Me and my brother have many of these. ** "If we don't know how did it, we'll blame [[HarryPotter Voldemort]]." (Now mostly dead) ** "SUSPICIOOOUUUSSS!" ** "The shower is a pervert... it has a camera in it!" ** "Toad fell down... TWICE!" ** "Think nice thoughs. Internet... Wii... DS...STUPID PENGUIN!" ** "...and the backpack was pink!" (Randomly said by our then 5- year old cousin.) ** "THE GARBAGEMEN ARE STEALING THE GARBAGE!"(Also by the cousin above. He is, or at least was, a slight [[FountainOfMemes Fountain Of Memes]] for our family. ** Whenever a certain advertisement comes on: "LEMON!" ** (while jumping up and down)"I WANT VODKA! I WANT VODKA!" ** "Do you choose the knife, the chainsaw or the bazooka?" ** "I have to go get my grandma!" ** Every time we overhear someone talking on the phone, they are talking about going around in the streets playing vuvuzelas. This makes most conversations pretty hilarious. ** Also, we both know that [[IMMeen I. M. Meen]] stole [[CDIZeldaGames CD-i Link]]s book. ** [[TheSimpsons "The cookie told me so!"]] ** "[[SuperMarioBros Bowser]] fails at geography" ** *singing* "Eric has a chainsaw~" ** [[FamilyGuy EXPLODING HORSE!]] ** "...and then the house blew up and they all died. The end :D" ** "Brains, muscles, and when we get there, batteries!" ** "THE KEY IS... IN THE *gibberish*" ** "He's dead. His species is extinct." ** "I'm sick of you hiding my food... I keep finding the margarine in my shoes, and that's close to disgusting!" * "Did you know a lightsaber could cut off your arms?" "Not just your

arms, but your legs too!" * "Just use your secret ninja skills!" ** After one time of playing [[SuperSmashBrothersBrawl Brawl]], R.O.B has somehow turned into [[MemeticMolester a pervert]] whose favorite hobby is filming Luigi and Daisy [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean in bed]] and posting it online. Other characters have also later got their own memetic alternate character interpretations: *** Mr. Game and Watch is also a pervert, and works together with R.O.B. *** [[StarFox Wolf]] is suicidal. **** [[FridgeBrilliance That explains why he always kills himself in his Landmaster whenever I face him as a CPU...]] *** [[Earthbound Ness]] is a reverse pedo. * Me and an internet friend also have several inside jokes. ** "Awesomesauce, now with extra awesomecookies!" ** "The Canada Project in Canada, which is a big secret." ** When someone isn't there: "He/she/they is/are on vacation in country-." * With another friend: "BLUE [[AxisPowersHetalia PASTAAAA~]]" ** And after that, just "BLUEEEEE~" (Always with several "e"-s.) ** Also, PURPLE. ** "Fuck you banana." *flips off* * This troper has taken to saying 'Herro' instead of hello and 'Brillig' instead of brilliant, the first stems from another meme and the other isn't one yet. ** Also, in This Tropers's year, one thing will always stay the same: (Long haired guys name). Has got. The. Funk. * This Troper has a ton of hilarious memes including: ** "Thanks to the magic of fanfiction, this van will fit us all." (It's from [[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6462993/1/Selleck_Waterfall_Sandwich this fic]].) ** [[{{Sengoku Basara}} Uesugi Kenshin]] has a ridiculous outfit. ** Wherever Flogging Molly plays in concert, something catches fire nearby. ** [[{{Hetalia}} Austria]] is a pimp. So are [[{{Fullmetal Alchemist}} Roy]], [[{{Eureka Seven}} Holland]], and [[{{One Piece}} Crocodile]]. ** "[[{{Big No}} NUEZ]]!" (This one is best said with a slight Spanish accent). ** Edward Cullen sucks so much, I called him a basement in Spanish! ** Everyone in {{One Piece}}, OCs included, must say at least one epic speech, since it's the {{One Piece}} world. ** "When are we going back to Vegas?" ** [[{{Scott Pilgrim}} Vegan Police]]! ** I watch {{Divine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood}} [[{{I Watch It For The Economics}} for all the hilarious commentary I can say during the fic]], {{Mystery Science Theater 3000}}-style! ** "No. Just no." ** "My cattle went to go meet other cattle!" ** Whenever a [[{{Wild Teen Party}} ranch party]] happens, This Troper has a weekend that is actually more fun and productive than the people who went to the party. (It's {{Hilarious in Hindsight}}, because while

I was browsing a record/DVD store for anime, buying manga, and getting bagels, a bunch of people went to a ranch party that got raided by the SWAT team). ** "[[{{Barenaked Ladies}} I've informed you to leave]]." ** George Schwindt (the drummer for Flogging Molly) is a creeper/George Schwindt reminds me of [[{{Fullmetal Alchemist}} Gluttony]]. ** Front row holiday show! [[{{Noodle Incident}} (Don't ask.)]] ** {{Breakfast at Tiffanys}} would be a thousand times more awesome if I wrote a parody of it where [[{{Durarara}} Shinra Kishitani]] is the narrator, [[{{Bishoujo}} Aki]] would be the girl, and it would combine elements of {{Trainspotting}}, {{Ansem Retort}}, {{Lucky Star}}, and {{Date Movie}}. It would also have characters from {{Eureka Seven}} [[{{It Makes Sense in Context}} (since both Trainspotting and Eureka Seven have protagonists named Renton)]], {{Hetalia}}, {{Soul Eater}}, {{Fullmetal Alchemist}}, {{One Piece}}, {{Baccano}}, and {{Fairy Tail}}, there'd be a scene where everyone goes on Jerry Springer, Aki wears a short, white kimono because she's {{The Ingenue}} who is as glamorous as {{Audrey Hepburn}}, and [[{{Bleach}} Isshin Kurosaki]] makes a cameo for the hell of it. Oh, and the main soundtrack would be Flogging Molly songs. ** [[{{Fullmetal Alchemist}} Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye]] singing Hips Don't Lie. ** Whenever things get bad for the protagonists, they run away to Mexico. ** [[{{One Piece}} Basil Hawkins]] is [[{{Zoolander}} really, really ridiculously good-looking]]. ** [[{{One Piece}} Rob Lucci]] and [[{{Baccano}} Firo Prochainezo]] have [[{{Yu Gi Oh The Abridged Series}} Brooklyn Rage]] and [[{{One Piece}} Kaku's voice]] [[{{Yu Gi Oh The Abridged Series}} gives him super strength]]. * This troper and his sister have accumulated a huge stash of memes and in-jokes over the years, some of them [[SurrealHumor completely random]]: ** "Lisa hases a treehouse", a parody of certain stock math-problem scenarios. ** "Smiley doops" (Don't ask) ** "Flyin' bumberdoodles", referring to the [[GoddamnedBats jumping fish]] in SuperMarioBros level 2-3, now extended to refer to anything that flies. ** {{Pokemon}} is now known as "Pookymoops" for [[SurrealHumor no reason]]. ** "Singy Eaty Time" (from a SpongebobSquarepants episode which this troper hasn't seen yet but his sister has) ** The words "doop", "moop", "joop", and others are randomly added into phrases [[InherentlyFunnyWords because they sound funny]]. *** Shoop da whoop?! &#3232;_&#3232; **** [[MemeticMutation IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZAR!]] [[KamehameHadoken BLAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!]] ** [[BigNo OH TEH NOES!!!1!11]] ** MINI SOAPS! ** Inverting NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast has become obligatory for

anything involving bad guys. ** LeetLingo. ''Teh'' has even aquired its own plural form ''tehz''. ** ITZ A HAT ** Plaid isn't a color! ** IIINNN...teresting ** You gots X of teh moneyz. * [[Tropers/CabbitGirlEmi This tropette]] has a Swedish best friend named Jenni. Her English isn't too bad, but there's this sentence that doesn't bother me like all the rest, but does deserve a special mention: --> "[[RudolphTheRedNosedReindeer Mr. Cuddles]] are so cute!" * Between [[Tropers.ReikoKazama this troper]] and her father: [[HilarityEnsues 9:35]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DiQrc__JE2o in this video.]] [[{{Angrish}} JEEBOWAHEH]] [[RatchetAndClank SQUIRRELS!]] ** !!UPDATE!! !!UPDATE!! Two new memes have been spawned, one fairly recently and one just tonight: "mehaverabbit and usuckwindows: [[ThisIsSPARTA Best. User names. Ever!]]" along with "Did you lost your *the rest has been forgotten*?". The first one came about whilst my father was setting up a new computer; it asked him to choose a user name, so he typed something in at random, and a few seconds later I heard him crack up. I asked what was so funny, and he replied "mehaverabbit". I went over to see what he meant, and found that he had somehow typed in "mehaverabbit" as a user name! The kicker? He eventually went with "[[MeaningfulName usuckwindows]]". TruthInTelevision: Windows does, at times, suck. *** As for the second one, I don't remember what he was doing, but there was a message at the bottom of the window that linked to some site or another, and it read "Did you lost your *[[TheHuntingOfTheSnark what-you-may-call-um]]*?" I think it either meant to say "Did you los''e'' *et cetera et cetera*" or "''Have'' you lost *et cetera et cetera*". Either way, it spawned a brand new meme. * The word fiddlepoop. Yes, this troper can be rather immature, why do you ask? As well, "Oh, hearts. You're SO ghetto." and the exchange "Hey Bill." "Hey To-HEY GUIZ WHAT'S GOIN ON?" * Uke would like to let you know that [[LargeHam she can yell.]] But [[{{EPIC}} This Troper]] thinks he can yell better, since he's a bit of a GenkiGuy. [[AceAttorney CHORDS OF STEEL FUCK YEAH!]] ** He also created FASTEN YOAH SEATBELTS along with Dan Dyer of SS:R for P24 '10. * [[{{brosandi}} This troper]]'s close (male) friend was describing himself to one of his teachers and went to say 'egotistical.' Guess what came out instead? "And actually, I'm rather egotesticle." A female variant has been contrived- "egotitstical." * In a recent chapel service, this troper's school chaplain made the bizzare statement that she hoped we all got the chance to have "Mind blowing, Earth shattering sex." A facebook page was created that night, and within a day most of the student body had joined. * This troper makes sure to never let a meme slip by. A friend once tried to say "preserved" but instead said "perverted." Another time, a history book mentioned "terrorist attacks" but it came out of someone's mouth as "tourist attack." These both are constantly brought

up. ** Similar thing happened back in this tropers school: While listing the goals/tasks of Interpol, one student said "combatting international tourism". [[HilarityEnsues Hilarity Ensued]] ** The Social Studies teacher has an issue with saying the words "number two." Actually, everything he says becomes a meme some day. * Several memes are made daily at this troper's school, including: ** [[AutotuneTheNews HE'S CLIMBIN IN YO WINDOWS]] ** "There's ART? In the MALL!?" ** [[OwlCity LET'S ALL DO THE UMBRELLA BEACH RAVE]] ** "27! 27! 27!" ** "INDEED! *finger point*" ** [[Uglies "SPAGBOOOOOOL"]] * Memes get started pretty easily in [[{{Ferewolf}} This Troper's]] (profile pending) high school Drama club. Someone once asked the time, and 12:59 became a meme. Anyway, I once played Officer Ben Welch in a production of Rumors in his high school drama club (with a lot of the swearing taken out.) Apparently, my delivery of one line--"I'm so close to a promotion I can smell it, and I''m not going to mess it up [[ThisIsSparta WITH! THIS! CASE!]]"--was so amusing that it became a meme among myself and the rest of the cast. Time to graduate eventually rolled around, and all the seniors received a "Senior Gift." Seventeen guesses what mine was, and the first three don't count. It's kind of a nice case, too. * After showing "Super Mario Bros.: Frustration" to this troper's circle of friends, "horse cock in tiny mouth" has become a popular insult to the point of extreme annoyance. There's also "quarter", which originated from the boisterous half-Mexican of the group dropping quarters into the hole of one friend's acoustic guitar. For the rest of the year, everyone was dropping random crap in there whenever the guitar guy wasn't looking. It came to a head when this troper poured about three and a half dollars worth of pennies into said guitar. * [[AdvanceWars This Troper]] has had the unfortunate nickname of "Ham Hands" amid his family due to having big-ass hands. * Somehow "damn you Kabuto!" has become a response to whenever life just messes you up in my family. We also call extremely feminine looking men Hakus. * ThisTroper marching band (yes, this tropette is a band geek on top of being a troper, embarrassingly) has TONS because our director is so strange. A few examples are: ** "[[StarWars Jabba the Hut,]] Rockin' the Beer Gut", a song made up named after the said director's large beer belly. ** "Park and Blow," repeated every time we have a standfast. ThatsWhatSheSaid jokes ensue. ** "Play that clarinet like you [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean wanna get dirty]]," something the band director said when ''we weren't loud enough''. In essence, trying to get us to blow harder. *** This troper is almost positive we went to the same school. Are you by any chance referring to Papa Berning? * For a couple of reasons, this one girl's middle name is now Twilight.

* [[SeanTucker This troper]] is a walking meme with some MemeticBadass tendencies. * [[Tropers/{{Dallenson}} This Troper]] Was Watching Lemurboys Pointless streams (Which they are Not) He Got a Game over at one point but the Homebrew Game glitched and Said "Over Game" It Became a Meme Ever since. * "On a stick!" is a meme within [[{{Cameoflage}} this troper]]'s family; it's originally derived from [[JeffDunham Jose Jalapeo]]'s catchphrase, but the delivery was changed, nay, ''mutated'', from the original dry, deadpan tone to a shrill exclamation (which, now that this troper thinks about it, sounds very much like her dad's attempts to imitate a British accent). The same thing has happened to various phrases from Don Hertzfeldt's ''[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSbnV8l2QY Rejected]]''. ** [[{{lotuschan}} This troper]] and a small group of her friends have also used "Rejected" as a meme. On Mondays someone will inevitably say "Tuesday's coming, did you bring your coat?", and someone else will respond with "I live in a giant bucket". "I am the Queen of France", and "My anus is bleeding!" are popular as well. ** The latest example would be "text-messaging machines". It's derived from what an older and [[OldMediaPlayingCatchUp somewhat outof-touch]] newscaster called cellphones during a program about the 2008 American election. ** Also "bad poo", which was originally used only in reference to the dog but then became a meme after this troper forgot that the cottage we were staying at didn't exactly have indoor plumbing in the way we knew it. (NeverLiveItDown indeed... * hangs head in shame* ) ** This tropette calls things "On a stick", but in a way that describes something, like "awesomeness on a stick" or "Crappiness on a stick" * "Pick it uuuuuup...PICK IT UP!" is a meme within this troper's extended family, taken from an unintentionally hilarious ad for Women's Refuge. Yeah, this troper's extended family is weird. ** One of the internet forums this troper is on has the meme, "We invaded Iraq to put a stop to that sort of thing," based on one forum member's comment about stoning in Somalia. And the cast and crew for one show this troper was involved with adapted the line "Do you wanna hear my poem?" after this troper continuously said it in a mock drunken stupor. * The official sport of this troper family is to guess what will be the next meme madness * This troper, after noticing a rather unusual special effects fixture at a production of ''TheLionKing'', is attempting to spread "INSIDIOUS WILDEBEEST TREADMILL!" * So many in [[GwenStacyWannabe this troper]]'s family it's not even funny. Most of which come from old Disney movies or TV shows my brother and I watched when we were about four and my parents thought were hilarious... * [[{{Nomic}} This troper's]] friend once heard some guy in a bar apparently use "cleaning up" as an euphemism for sex (the details are a little unclear as this troper wasn't present himself). He started using it and it eventually mutated into a a weird in-joke that

involved doing the "cleaning up dance" and the phrase "come here, you dirty whore, and I'll clean you up". ** The above troper and his brother also had a phase when they'd use "gg, Blizz, gg!". It originally came from a post on WorldOfWarcraft forums, and at first my brother used it when Blizzard did a change he didn't like. However we quickly started using it in real life situations too, like when it started raining while we were cycling. It's since fallen out of use, tho. * Apparently, there is a legit statistical measure called "power level". This troper had a question asking for it on her stats final. ** "It's OVER 9000!!!" Answer: "8,999" "...Dammit." * This troper and his friends repeat things from various sources, particularly South Park and other Comedy Central things, and make up things. One friend started saying "Cite the source!" whenever someone makes what he thinks is a reference. One notable meme among this troper's classmates is when we had a substitute for English once. We were reading, someone talked, and she said "you're ruining the magic." We latched onto this immediately. * [[TheLionKing "Man, I hate danglin'!"]], within this troper's family whenever something is conspicuously hanging. This troper's been trying to turn "the food chain" into an Internet meme, with no success - it ''is'' a rather forced meme, after all. * ...Where to start with this troper and her friends and family? ** "Can't you just draw CHEESE?!" Her mother was observing her drawings of [[NightmareFuelColoringBook weird monsters]] as a child, she tried to ask if this troper could draw "trees" like other artists... and misspoke. Her phrase lives on in family infamy. Naturally, any time anyone makes doodles (such as on a restaurant napkin or somesuch), someone must draw a cheese wedge. ** "HOW-DOES-SHE-DO-THAAAAAT?" Spoken by her sister in regards to [[{{Metroid}} Samus Aran's]] Morph Ball ability, it has since become a general phrase of surprise at someone's skill. "HOW-DOES-X-DOTHAAAAT?" ** "Your FACE is an abstract construct!" This troper threw this line in as a one-off, lame joke in her pseudo-novel... Her co-author, family, and beta readers ADORED it. I have been told that if I ever get the books published, that phrase WILL be on a T-shirt. ** "STOP CHEWING ON MY SLIPPERS!" -- a one-off line from ''CodeLyoko'' that this troper and her sister found inordinately hilarious. ** [[ABugsLife "Tra-la-la-la, spring is in the air... And I am a flower, with nothing interesting to say."]] ** Anything and everything is better with random [[BeyondGoodAndEvil Carlson and Peeters]] quotes. ** "Geeeettin' dizzy," said whenever something spins around really fast. We don't know where the line came from, except we have the vague notion it originated in an old video game. *** A bug's life or Antz ** The Soul Coughing song "Walk Around In Circles," which we originally heard in a Cartoon Network bumper. It's become the song we sing whenever someone's stuck doing something they don't want to do, or when they're literally walking around in circles.

*** You are not alone! [[{{StudiousJones}} This troper]] cannot contain herself from breaking out into that song in such moments. ** Perhaps the strangest meme generator in this troper's family? A Nintendo 64 ''{{Rugrats}}'' game. Really. The various lines the characters say when certain things happen (such as getting items and landing on certain squares--it's a PartyGame) have become memes, such as "Chocolate milk! It does a baby good! Rawr!", "Secret sausageways!," and "Cookies! Part of every square meal!" Yes, this troper's family is... ''odd.'' * [[{{Teeth}} This troper]], his brother and his father frequently do an exaggerated and [[{{Flanderization}} flanderized]] impression of this troper's mum and her boyfriend. * In this troper's computer science club, a comment on someone's cleavage ("I can see your boobs!") led to a short-lived meme within the club. * This troper's friend is currently trying to get a Dead Space meme off the grounOHGODNECROMORPH! * ThisTroper has stuff he said constantly quoted back at him from all directions. You'd be amazed how quickly the phrase "Bullet Ants" becomes annoying. * This troper and her best friend have numerous memes to the point where it would take quite a while for her to list them all. When she was younger, a few girls in her Girl Scout troop would say 'Brown Grapes!' to each other as a greeting, thanks to a certain Scout believing that deep purple grapes were brown. * This troper's church youth group has a running meme regarding the awesomeness of pie. It manages to be inserted in almost every conversation at some point. According to the kids, Troper is more awesome than pie...but not by much. * This troper (Also known as gumbal1) started rating sound effects by a teacher when he used them too much. Now people expect me to rate THEIR sound effects (Now a dead meme). ** In addition, when trying to refer to the Hobbas as the Gestapos of the internet, he accidentally referred to them as the gazpachos of the internet. * This troper and her brother have two: "I(or you, or he) found ten dollars!" and "Because I found a maaa-aaa-aaaa-aaa-aaa-aaa-aaap." The former tends to be an ending to a "Why?" "Because." "Why?"(repeat ad infinitum) and the latter comes from the song of the same name which we tend to mock(seriously, the song would make sense without "Maps" in it). We also compete to hold it the longest. Chorus training FTW! * This troper's comedy club will congo line out of a preformance singing "Yellow Submerine" after an off hand line about the bright yellow shirts we wear to performances. This troper catches some flak from being a lifeguard after he was nominated for an officer position. The girl he was running against was an over-achiever and was listing all the clubs she had been involved with prior to his own speech, so when it was his turn, that his declaration of the fact he was a lifeguard was met with laughter. To be fair, I had a point and I did get more votes than her (incumbent still won), but whatever the point was, it has been lost to time. * This troper's high school drama circle cultivated a meme about

''"sexxx!" "And drinkin'!" "Oh, aye, and drinkin'. And revelry!" "And sexxx!"'' * This troper and her friends have the impeccable "Your MOM discovered America!". Also, said troper, in an effort to cure her boyfriend of "Your mom" jokes, started responding to every such [[strike:joke]] annoyance by telling him to stop sleeping with her mother. He, being the clever {{Jerkass}} that he is, pushed it further by ''continuing the conversation as if he were serious''. She, not to be outdone, responded in kind, and it only continued escalating from there. Since then, it's been a huge in-joke between the two of them (and the source of a lot of weird looks from passerby). * When this troper was younger, our class watched the [[SoBadItsGood cartoon version]] of the Hobbit. For the next few weeks everyone would say "How Conveeeenient" after a line Bilbo said when he found the Ring in Gollums Cave. We also said "HEYOOOOOO" for some reason * Adding 'ster' to the end of names of things with one of my friends, to the point of, when asked about lobsters, referred to them as [[CrowningMomentOfFunny ''Lobstersters''.]] * Happens frequently with [[DarkInsanity13 this troper]] her friends and her family. Often riddled with Shout Outs to comedians with her friends. One of the two that still live on despite the years with her brother is from an old Evangelion parody fandub, in which everytime Gendou was mentioned, it'd go "IT'S GENDOU" and start a little baseline tune (which is awfully similar to [[NarutoTheAbridgedSeries Gaara of the Funk]]). There was a point in which a piece of paper with "It's Gendou!" written on it would pass back and forth between the two bedrooms. The second one is much more recent, in which the siblings will say both at random times and when the opportunity arises, is "I found a penny!", in reference to the english version of [[http://www.onemanga.com/Black_Cat/44/06/ this Black Cat page]]. It must be said in a ridiculously stupid voice. It was actually a bit of a CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming when this troper once wrote a note to her brother about some stupid stuff she'd done, and in an attempt to cheer him up, taped a penny to the paper and wrote the second meme. It surprised her when she found the note on her bed later. She turned it over to find "IT'S GENDOU" written on the back. He ended up brightening up her mood with that simple line that hadn't been mentioned in ''years''. ** Also, [[{{Pokemon}} Bonsly]] in SuperSmashBros Brawl is a MemeticBadass according to them. Whenever he appears, they shout "BONSLY!!!" excitedly. Considering the Pokemon is practically one-hit KO if it hits, it's justified. If KO'd by Bonsly being thrown at you, be prepared for shouts of "You've been Bonsltized!" *** Thanks to a comment from Sakurai before Brawl came out, whenever Stafy shows up as an Assist Trophy when [[StarkMaximum this troper]] is playing Brawl, he shouts, "STAFY, WHY DID YOU EVEN COME HERE". He's fallen in love with the phrase to the point that when he learned a Stafy game was being released in America, his AIM/MSN subtitles were changed to the same phrase. * [[{{Pirka}} This Troper]] has several- way too many to list here: ** Referring to [[{{Nyktos}} Another Troper]]'s brother as 'The Underwear Store' due to misquoting a line from ''Anchorman''

** '''ONLY TWOOOOOOOO!?''' (The origin of which is also a misquote, this time of ''WillyWonkaAndTheChocolateFactory'') ** ''Kiiiiinnnnddda CRAAAAZZZZYYY!'' ** ''Bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh...'' ** ''Ye-e-ss!'' ''Noo-o!'' (hard to say in writing, it's the way it's said that's funny) ** (Mention of [[SuzumiyaHaruhiNoYuutsu Haruhi]]) [[EarWorm "DA-DADA-DAAAA!"]], or, similarly, (Mention of anything to do with HumongousMecha) [[GurrenLagann "HASHIRIDASHI~TAAAAA!"]] ** A few from MSN which haven't been used for a while, namely 'BLU RAZBRRY' and 'H is god!' ** References to stuff from Mad Libs With family, she has a few as well, though they are less frequent (and almost all of them came from Disney World trips): ** The "Yosemite Sam Guy", this dude at the airport who looked like...well, [[CaptainObvious Yosemite Sam]] and, after missing the elevator, gave the dramatic line "See y'all later!" as the doors shut. ** STACEY, the crazy GenkiGirl announcer on the WDW in-house information channel, and all her [[AccidentalInnuendo accidental innuendoes]], notably "This place has rides ''OUT THE WAZOO''!" and (before going on a water slide) "Let's get it on!"

* This Troper's friend has a website and a forum which has spawned a few exclusive memes (3 of which this troper has perpetuated), like Man Sudo (apparently a sudo command but is used as a superhero, MAN SUDO TO THE RESCUE), the overmention of Zimbabwe, Colour Pencils verses Color Pencils and this long word thing. And, to this troper's disbelief, there is a small wiki dedicated to it. ... * This troper was discussing Peter F Hamilton novels with his brother, he asked how big they were and I gave the appropriate response: OVER NINE THOUSAND!!!!! Pages. * This troper has a meme going on with a friend, who one day got sick from drinking orange juice that had expired. Every time the friend is away from school, on the day he returns, he is asked whether he was on the orange juice again. * This troper has a running phrase for one of his highly excitable friends, and note that we're both urban youths of color: "WHY YOU MAD HYPE, SON?!?!" * For many years, [[{{alliterator}} this troper]] and his father had a running joke, the phrase "Put on some pants!" It originated from a commercial for ''TheDailyShow'' but quickly mutated into a nonsensical phrase we shouted at random to each other, often right after the other. * My brother and I spent a solid hour trying to beat Bouldergeist in Super Mario Galaxy, so long that we started making up dumb phrases to mask our frustration, including "If he were a Pokemon, he'd be Rock/Ghost!" That last phrase has now become code among the gamers in my family to mean "This boss is fucking hard, and it's pissing me off." * Apparently, according to my friends, I seem to be a walking meme. It's not one single thing that I've said. It's just... me. It seems

that I appear to be on drugs to them. Well, that and I tend to break out into song more often than I'd like to. * The students in this troper's music classes have taken to exclaiming "F!" to express frustration. Mostly humorous because it's occasionally a correct answer. * Where [[Tropers/SeaMaid96 This Troper]] lives, online memes aren't very known about (and I was the first one to know about TVTropes). Instead, within our family there are several mixes of memes and InsideJokes. The memes usually have something to do with a swedish series that doesn't even have a page on here (no surprise - dubbing it would result in [[RUINEDForever none of the jokes being quite as funny]]). For example, there's one part where they talk about "Svetthinkan" (the Sweat Bucket) and the person who needs it shouts "NO! NOT THE SWEAT BUCKET!! NOT THE SWEAT BUCKET!!!". This of course has lead to us shouting "NO! NOT THE X" whenever a situation is bad and we need X. There are some words that they created while making their parody of northern accents, and we've adopted "prsk/prsk" as a swear word in our daily language. There are other pretty legendary [[YourMileageMayVary atleast in our ears]] dialogue that gets new versions from time to time. [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pistvakt_%E2%80%93_En_vintersaga Link here if a miracle occurs and you now want to know what show I'm talking about]]. * [[MrGuy ThisTroper]]'s entire summer camp had a meme. ZOMG PEWPEW LAZERS!!!!!1! * [[{{Horngeek}} This Troper's]] youth group had one around the name of one of the year 12's. Yes, the Nakama(TroperTales) year 12's * This Troper's friend made a rather foolish metaphor, to which This Troper replied "That's like kicking someone in the junk and calling it 'Giving them martial arts lessons!'. Now 'Giving someone a karate lesson' means, well...kicking them [[GroinAttack in the junk.]] * In [[{{Pinkbaron}} this troper]]'s World Geography class, Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire" became the class meme, especially the line, "Belgians in the CONGO!". * [[{{Sylocat}} This Troper has a few tales:]] ** The phrase [[StevenMoffat "Are you my mummy?"]] has become a favorite catchphrase among my circle of friends. ** One of my particularly annoying friends was always yelling "[[FZero Falcon PUNCH!]]" Eventually I got sick of it (and this whole "Captain Falcon is Chuck Norris as a superhero" drivel), so I suggested he switch heroes. I showed him [[http://www.theodoreroosevelt.org/research/speech%20kill%20moose.htm this]], and now he says "Teddy PUNCH!" ** Robbie Coltraine's delivery of the line [[{{Blackadder}} "Sausage?! SAUSAGE?!"]] has become a fave among my family at breakfast time. * A family meme in [[ManCalledTrue this troper's]] family is the Silence Punishment: if someone says Jeff Dunham's "SILENCE! I KILL YOU!" line in earshot of the troper, he whacks them. DontRepeatTheJoke. * This troper has a meme between her and her mother involving saying "Nail Clippers" in a ridiculous French accent.

* For my family, it's the, "I don't think so" line from the intro of Time Crisis 2. Sadly, it's not used very often anymore. * This troper's schoolfriends have taken the iconic "giant worm" line from GearsOfWar 2 and turned it into their own meme, following the formula, "<PERSON NAME>, it's a ''giant worm''! '''THEY'RE''' <VERB>'''ING''' <NOUN>'''S WITH A GIANT WORM!!!'''" * This troper invented and popularized a meme in the newsgroup it.comp.software.emulatori (the Italian newsgroup about emulation), following a consideration of how each new version of MAME slows down the emulation of every game without any benefit. The meme is "IL MAME E' LAME" (Italian for "MAME IS LAME"). At first it was loathed, but it was gradually accepted and agreed upon by almost the whole newsgroup. This culminated in 2006, when the MAME Team was elected Lamer of the Year. * For this troper, "You can't use the books as terrain! Get out of here!" in an extremely exaggerated voice has become something of a meme among her friends thanks to an incident at a bookstore involving about 40 army-men figures and a recreation of D-Day. * 'Island dwellers' has become a meme with this troper, her aunt and her grandmother, after this troper's mother used those words to accuse her aunt and gran of never leaving the house and not having any friends whatsoever. It might be necessary to mention that this troper's relationship with her mother was never exactly brilliant. * [[{{Sainsbury}} This troper]] and his brother have spurred our own meme whenever one of us asks a question: -->'''Brother 1''': "Can you please leave my room" -->'''Brother 2''': ''<{{Large Ham}}>'' "WELL, CAN I?" -->'''Brother 1''': ''<Equally {{Large Ham}}>'' "WELL, CAN YOU?" -->'''Brother 2''': "WELL..." * With[[{{Stoney}} This Troper's]] group of friends, the response to pretty much anything is "[[TheBeatles John Lennon on your head!]]" * Among this troper's group of friends, it has become something of a meme to worship our chemistry teacher as unto a god. There is bad blood and many theological debates between those who worship the Almighty and those that worship that False God physics teacher. As of this typing This Troper has changed his name to "Anthalalel", declared himself First High Prophet of the chemistry teacher and is currently writing his Gospel According To Anthalalel. * Some friends and acquaintances of [[DarkInsanity13 this troper]] say "C'mon guys, play [[{{Yu-Gi-Oh}} Exodia]]!" whenever some of their other friends are playing cards. It was mildly amusing the first time. The next '''''200 times''''' it was damn annoying. Now this troper wants to bring in a picture of Exodia (and several other powerful cards and things) just to get them to shut up. * This troper's whole anime club (and thus circle of friends) is made of this trope. Examples include "Thank you, Spector." after a DeadpanSnarker line, "FRAAAANZ!" during any death scene (after Gankutsuo), and [[strike:Jessica]] JessKa being the local [[SuzumiyaHaruhi Mikuru]]. * Several in [[HelenDamnation my]] family: ** Due to a mishearing many, many many years ago, "Good Old-Fashioned Stew" is now known as "Goldfish Stew".

** Can't find your keys? [[TheTwilightZone the little blue men forgot to paint them in.]] ** My mother says / when I grow up / I'm going to be / a ''proper'' little madame. ** We want to be togeveeeer! (from an advert, or so I'm told. I really just have no idea.) * This troper's friend, while describing an incident involving a classmate of his getting suspended from school for having [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean questionable content]] on his laptop, made a sort of "golly gee whiz!" motion with his arm and said "horsefucker!" A few seconds later, he said "Oh god, if I keep doing that I'm going to start associating the word 'horsefucker' with that motion." So, of course, we kept doing it until the association was permanently burnt into our minds. * [[{{Zemyla}} This Troper]]'s family has a meme we use quite often: "If I could do that, I wouldn't need a lawyer." It's supposedly from a play, but [[Orphaned Punchline we've forgotten which one]]. * [[{{Magus}} This troper]] and his friend have several MagicTheGathering cards which we've turned into memes. Namely, Druid's Call (which makes squirrel tokens). And, recently, Kjeldoran Dead. * [[ShapeshifterTheTroper This troper]] and her family have many memetic phrases, especially between this troper and one of her sisters. Included are: ** "Triggerhappy pinhead," a description developed from an episode of Ben10AlienForce ** [[SpyKids "I don't know, my watch doesn't tell time."]] ** "We need cookies, our planet is dying," a mangled quote of a CalvinAndHobbes strip. ** "Let go, Mr. Froggy!" ** "Why don't I get a microphone, too?" ** "Cow go moo!" * Only having brothers in his family, all with similar interests, it was inevitable that this would happen to this troper, here are just the examples I can remember right now: ** [[DigimonAdventure02 Give me your D3.]] ** [[TotallySpies Sam... Clover... Alex...]] ** [[SonicTheHedgehog Shadow Vs Amy: Final Rush!!!]] ** [[{{Angel}} Fred dies.]] ** [[{{Futurama}} Change X's!!!]] ** [[{{House}} Remember that episode of House where that guy's eye pops out?]] ** [[{{Shinzo}} Hypermode. Hypermode? HYPERMODE!]] * [[SamiFire This Troper]] is something of a walking meme producer. At any given time, there is some sort of bizarre term I came up with in circulation amongst my friends. Currently in vogue is, "PROMOTION!" When shouted, it indicates that the person has done something not terribly worthy of an actual promotion. With new catchphrases coming up roughly every two months, there's always fresh material! * This anonymous troper and a friend from English class made a meme out of a line from Hamlet: "the devil take thy soul"(Say it like you would say "OVER 9000"). Whenever someone said the line, we replied "what my soul?"

[[AckSed This editor]] is a meme machine. "Out, damned spot! Out I say" whenever I clean. "Good thinking, Batman!" when something is remotely clever... it just keeps coming. * This anonymous troper has two, though neither is coined by him. ** The first stems from the tendency of a [[DeadpanSnarker very]] [[CloudCuckooLander weird]] high school classmate to randomly interject "but what does necrophilia have to do with it?" into a conversation. Since then, this troper's gone on to introduce the phrase to every new environment he finds himself in. So far, it seems to have taken root in all of them. ** The second used to be the beginning to the world's longest and most aggravating joke, as told by a friend of the troper, but in time just saying "Welllll, Ali, the Arabian Nobleman..." without continuing began to hold all sorts of meanings. * This troper and his friends go through a meme at least once a month. Most of them involve just yelling out something random, but one in particular stands out. When we list off events, in any order for any reason, we'll randomly add "And then the Apaches show up," to this list. ** Most other memes between this troper's group are all slips of the tongue by one friend in particular. The list includes: "I'm not a children!" "I forgot how much donuts taste good." "Is it illegal to drive with your headlights on at night?" "You wear feet on your legs!" and "I wish this thing was more not close." * This Catholic troper likes to twist memes with religious themes: -->'''JESUS CHRIST WAS BORN IN A CAVE! ''IN A BOX OF HAY!''''' * This troper and his friend is obsessed with quoting [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdUzTrVMnpk this flash cartoon]]. * For this troper, the phrase "We ain't ''datin'!''" ("Datin'" pronounced with an exaggerated teenage gangster drawl, as [=DAYTn=]) is persistently one of these. It even has a [[Literature/{{Twilight}} Growing Up Cullen]] variation-- "We are not courting, Emmett. Don't be crude." Similarly, "That reminds me of a Bible verse!", "My leg hurts", "turning my nipples into snakes and dragons" and many others. We're a freak family. * In [[DialgaX This Troper's]] Web Design class ALT + WTF has become something of a meme. * Between [[FurikoMaru this troper]] and her mom, many Simpsons lines have become conversational mainstays. Anytime a person in their vacinity says something headdesk-ingly stupid, they lock eyes, and one of them mutters wearily: "[[InsufferableGenius I know]]. [[SurroundedByIdiots I heard it too]]. Here's some music." ** She's also [[EntryPimp trying to spread]] "And there ain't even any werewolves", after seeing it in a comment on scans_daily and finding it hysterical. * This troper and her friend now refer to a certain {{Dynasty Warriors}} character as "GET OUT", because he's the only character troperfriend can find art of when she's looking for art of Sun Quan. * Ever read {{Master and Commander}}? This troper had to read it for a book group. (Amazingly, the book group leader was aware of the massive {{Ho Yay}} and the internet fandom, despite being an old history teacher...) Interesting conversation was made on the subject

of a ship and its...unique name, Cacafuego. "Cacafuego is a great name! Name your car Cacafuego...name your dog Cacafuego..." This troper proceeded to choke violently on her drink and to establish random exclamations of "CACAFUEGO!" a meme with the fellow book group members. * This troper is proud to say he started a meme at someone else's school. I told a friend of mine about a fanfic involving a severed head shouting "I'm going to overcook!" My friend then proceeded to shout this line in response to a perfectly reasonable question at his school the next day. Needless to say, numerous people at his school will now randomly shout that they are going to overcook. I'm so happy... * After the freshman class's reading of Romeo and Juliet in this troper's high school, it became a bit of a meme to interrupt two people arguing by shouting "A plague o' both your houses!" * This troper's family has a meme about "The Tajikistani Chickpeas". Came from a strange documentaries we once watched. * At [[BringTheNoise This Troper's]] former place of work, "Bennett" (the villain from {{Commando}}) was the insult of choice. He was pretty much a MemeticBadass at that place. * [[PowerTrio This editor and her friends]] have two ''Transformers'' injokes: 'KILL IT WITH SHOCKWAVE', and 'Shockwave caused 9/11'. * This troper and his sister have quite a few, most of them involving turning lyrics from songs into everyday conversation. One is Party People by Fergie ("Excuse me, good sir. I seem to have misplaced my party people. Could you, perhaps, inform me as to where my party people are at? I'm prepared to ask you over and over and over.") and 10 Dollar by M.I.A. ("Yeah, I've got seven bucks. Three more and I can get ANYTHING I WAAAAAAWNT."). * In this troper's physics class, [[YouFailNuclearPhysicsForever "Free Energy!"]]. The teacher's (and the rest of the class's) response: It doesn't exist! * There's a running gag in [[{{Magus}} this troper's]] family about abstract art: It's about the futility of war. No exceptions. ** Another series of memes: My tenth-grade history teacher was kind of crazy, and had such memorable quotes as "you have to ride the golden carpet of momentum" and "You have to pick the low-hanging fruits (mime this with tongue clicking). Then make them into a pie. Or a cake. Scratch that, I hate fruitcake". Hilarious. Not to mention the GranolaGirl 9th-grade biology teacher... (Yes, I provided that Tale) * In this troper's math class, there's a couple of these. Such as "I hear boxes!" whenever there's a polygon on the chalkboard, "X Square is NOT your mommy," or a PlanetOfTheApes-based one, "It was you all along, you dirty Phi!" You wouldn't want to know how they originated. Really. * [[{{Gabel}} This troper]] has a lot of memes. A few examples: ** Yelling [[StarTrek KHAN!] when mad at something. ** Greeting people with [[ManosTheHandsOfFate I am Torgo]]. Also when something goes wrong, just exclaims "ThE MaSTer wOuLd nOt aPprOve!". ** Singin ''[[CrowningMusicOfAwesome Oh]] [[RuleOfFunny Yeah]]'' by Yello whenever something goes well. ** Proclaiming anything badass as RatedMForManly.

** [[TheBigLebowski Am I wrong?]] * Chances are, if it's been said in an [[TheAbridgedSeries Abridged series]], it's a meme between this troper and her roommate. Among others: ** "Take it with a lime." ** [[ThatGuyWithTheGlasses "Bloopity bloopity bloopity bloopity..."]] ** "''Everybody'' knows." ** "You wanna '''go'''?!" ** "You meant what I knew." ** "You are a fruitcake." ** "Your face!" "Your Mom's face!" "Your Mom's face's Mom's face's Mom's face!" ** "I hate your face." "I hate your...face!" (From ''Role Models'', of course.) ** "Screw you, hippie!" ** "Why?" [[{{Yu-Gi-Oh The Abridged Series}} "Because shut up."]] ** [[DragonBallZAbridged "Are we there yet?" "No." "Are we there yet?" "No." "Are we there yet?!" "SHUT THE FUCK UP, NAPPA!"]] (Yes, this is said exactly that way regardless of the fact that the person's name is not really Nappa.) ** "You fail at life." ** "[[NWordPriveleges N* gga]], fuck yo' life!" ** "N* gga, fuck your '''soul'''!" ** "STOP HELPING ME!" * [[{{Peteman}} This Troper's]] gaming friends have several: ** "BARBARIANS HAVE [=D12s=]!" (one particular player displays his lack of knowledge of the rules) ** "Detect Undead, Phil, Detect Undead." (a different player displays a lack of common sense with regard to the rules) ** "Oh, it's a ''special'' delivery" (generally involves assassinating a guy while dressed as a pizza/food delivery service guy) ** "You're going into the Quiet Room" (involves using the Illusionary Wall spell from Arcane Power to trap an opponent) ** "I touch him inappropriately" (Whenever someone uses a melee attack Vs. reflex, mostly referring to Order of the Blue Fire opponents) * In the troper's family, "liver and onions" became a synonym for "pizza" due to a ''Doug'' episode. Another family one he just remembered even ''was'' a case of memetic mutation is calling an unfinished room in the house "nobody's room": An 8 year old blind cousin who frequently came to visit had a habit of asking "who's room is this?" anytime he went somewhere different. For this room the answer was "nobody". He apparently took this literally, and started calling it "nobody's room", so everyone else followed suit. Oh, and "what do you think this is, hay market?": It was the somewhat inexplicable catch phrase of his tae kwon do teacher when students were being too loud, and generally gets invoked when one mentions the train stop Haymarket. * This Troper has several with her friends. ** "I don't believe you. You're lying to me. You lie!," or just "You lie!" for the short version. Taken from a 1980s adaption of

BridgeToTerabithia, in which the lead actor was very narmy, most of all in the delivery of that line. ** "OUTLANDER!" Taken from Children Of The Corn, we either say this randomly or when we think someone's overacting. ** "You evil little baa!" Originated when this troper started to jokingly call her friend a evil little bitch, but broke off at the last minute and ended up sounding like a vampiric sheep. ** "MY ROOM!" Often paired with "OUTLANDER!", this is taken from a somewhat random scene in ''Changeling''. ** "Fuck you, Megavideo/[whatever]! Fuck you and all your children!" This troper shouted this at her computer when Megavideo broke down on her, and her friend thought it was funny, so it became a meme. ** "Aww yeah, not too bad I s'pose." Said in a high pitched voice, we once knew someone who would say this, and picked it up from him. ** Anything the girl says in [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5g46Ntg38cc this]] trailer, because she's such an amusingly horrific actress. Also from the trailer, "WHAT DO yoU KNOW OF HELL CREATURE?!" * We at our high school have a little society of {{Yu-Gi-Oh}} [[SeriousBusiness Duelists]], of which [[{{MBurusu}} I]] am one. One of our number happens to run a very powerful deck of mostly really old cards -- including [[InfinityPlusOneSword Blue-Eyes White Dragon]], a high-power monster that he summons almost every single duel (there's a .0001% margin for error, methinks). Because of [[ThatOneBoss the way he and his trio of dragons have always cleaned up]] since the dawn of our duels, [[FanNickname we have ended up calling whomever is]] [[ButtMonkey the unfortunate guy getting mobbed in a more-than-twoman-duel or tag match]] [[MemeticBadass 'The A.J.']], due to the regular practice of EnemyMine being invoked in such matches whenever he [[OhCrap gets out one or more of the aforementioned ivory-tinted terrors]] -- but only if they are being targeted for the same reason (that is, they've gotten a good field and the other players want to live longer). * Between me and my brother, we have something of a collection of these.I have my alter-ego, the Chaos Cape Commander.My brother has his "Eggman Song"(unrelated to Sonic).Also, when we steal a phrase from each other, it's common for the one stolen from to suddenly exclaim, in a high-pitched, whiny voice, "You stole mah liiiine! Pay me copyrights!" I think my brother started that one.Also, my brother's catchphrase, F*** ity-F*** ity-BALLS! ** I also have a new meme I'm trying to spread, Dettol _____.FACT.You know, like that advert. * My school got so very very many... ** Everythings Bosses Fault. Bosse is a Swedish name and the name of person who dropped from school before he even came to the first lesson. ** A fascination with sparrows. ** When something doesn't go according to plan singing a little tune, "DA-dada-da-DA-DA-dada-da", and repeat. ** "You're fat. Mentally." ** Everythings better with Germans, the Chinese will take over the world, AMERICA, FUCK YEAH and Danes are eeeeeeeebiiiiiil.

** Everythings excusable if your leg hurts. Everything from missing homework to homicide. *** This isn't a Danny Wallace reference by any chance? ** "Yo' momma is breakfast!" There is exactly ONE answer to that, and I won't write that here... * When he was little, this troper (KurtmanJP) used to chase the family pomeranian Buffy around the coffee table while the dog had a ball in its mouth and chant "Buffy has a coot". It soon became a meme, to the misfortune of his mom. His elementary school friend Donny is known for "Tag on the butt" when he pointed to a clown doll. * [[{{Turtleducks}} This Troper]] and her friends have made said troper's emotionally scarring attempt to tell her mother she was dating another girl into a hilarious meme: "Are you sexually attracted to her?" Also, the aforementioned mom also inspired another line: "Is that porn? Are you looking at porn?" ** Not to mention, as of last year's D&D campaign, the above troper and her {{Nakama}} created "Rhino Listen check!" as well as many others. * This Troper and his PowerTrio have a few: ** Everything can be blamed on [[ButtMonkey Fuzzy]], everything. Even if he wasn't involved. ** "Can I hit Y with the X?" "No." "Can I hit Fuzzy with the X?" "Maybe..." ** "Reaganomics!" and "Hooray for murder!" as a Fuzzy's exclamations of victory. ** "Boosh!" ** The "terrible, terrible plan" which was never executed but involved [[NoodleImplements the line "flamable bibles", a ringtone that yelled "Hail Satan!", and a christian bookstore]]. ** And now I foresee the infamous [[BlackLagoon porn editing scene]] as heading into this territory for us. * After this troper made a particularly bad joke about a moose, it became something of a meme within his family. Now, whenever anyone tells a horrible joke, at least one member of the family will exclaim "Moose!" * This troper uses ''This X doesn't make any sense'', from Metal Gear Awesome. He has used it for among other things Manos: The Hands of Fate and ''The Spoony One's'' Let's Play of Phantasmagoria 2. Also, when someone says something i was about to say, i exclaim "THOUGHT PIRATE!" * This troper has some. ** One is a number of words that have become mentally linked to The Game, such that I lose whenever I hear them, which led to me associating "mental association" with The Game. ** While watching the opening part of the ''FullmetalAlchemist'' movie, when the MadScientist pulls out what appears to be a baketballsized nuke (full of Uranium, as he says), the sheer idiocy of using a nuke in short range combat prompted this quote from me, which has become meme-worthy among us: ---> "I've got a nuke! I'll drop it! I swear to God I'll drop it!" *** [[{{lanceleoghauni}} This Tropers]] Friends quote the line "Your

arcane rules mean nothing to me, for I AM A MAN OF SCIENCE!" From the same guy ALL the time. ** When we play ''SuperSmashBros Brawl'', me and my friends have a few: *** When a Nintendog comes out of an Assist Trophy, we ''must'' exclaim "It's a puppy!" *** When the Devil comes out of an Assist Trophy, we shout, a la the Smash Bros Dojo "He's not helping at all!" *** When certain Pokmon come out of the pokball, most usually the Lati@s, we say "Have fun!" *** When someone grabs a Smash Ball, the rest of us freak out with some appropriate line, like "[[{{Kirby}} I don't want to behold anything!]]" or "[[StarFox I don't want to have fun with this thing!]]" * [[{{soup}} This Troper's]] family has a few.... ** "Give to Radiskull!" said at the end of a sentence...its been known to literally mean giving something to someone or...its just a cool sentence ender in some cases. Originated when watching the internet series, the name escapes me, but it involves a floating skull with an awesome haircut and a little creature called 'Devil Doll' the quote is from the halloween episode. ** saying the phrase 'floppity vagina' will send my father into hysterics. This came about because my brother likes to call both this me and my mother gay, along with giving discriptions about what we do. Theses descriptions invariably include "floppity vagina's". Then one day, during a disturbing dinner conversation my mother got fed up and asked my father "Honey...are there really such things as floppity vagina's?" The key here is that my mother previously was making raunchy jokes over dinner and she had said that in the light, airy voice of a sheltered old woman. ** "The Clown has NO penis" is the favored phrase to be randomly said around my friends. It comes from the movie Step Brothers, upon being woken up the titular (adult) step brothers both mumble something. Their mother remarks "What aer you guys dreaming about? ** Also from Step Brothers "You have to call me Night Hawk" ** Then me and my best friend, if one of us (or someone else) touches someone on accident inappropriatly say "I was on your thighs!" This came about when this troper had nowhere to sit and so sat on her best friends lap. She said I had a bony butt so I wiggled around and she yelled at me, pushing me off because it hurt. Later I was laying on the couch, she came up to me sat on me and wiggled. She said it was payback I told her "I was on your thighs" and she realized she had been a [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean little higher than my thighs]]. * This troper now randomly says out loud [[Left4Dead "GRABBIN' PILLS!"]] whenever he takes his allergy medicine. * "It is a vicious circle!" genrally preced by "Damn straight". Often said in a heavy Russian accent, and descended from a debate speech. * Yelling out '''"WAFFLE FRIES!?"''' in a group of this troper's friends causes [[HilarityEnsued hiilarity to immediately ensue.]] * "I'm going to kill you" whispered with one's face close to someone sleeping. Due to one of the AMVHell movies... Can't remember which one. I'm nearly certain I haven't even seen the original movie that

line came from, but a couple friends and I have used that a lot, and generally laugh hysterically. * "You can't have enough Jesus!" achieved meme status in this troper's family over this past Easter weekend. Not just with my immediate family, either, but with all my cousins, uncles and aunts on my dad's side. It came from the concierge at the hotel my dad, sister and I stayed at, from when he talked about going to multiple Easter Sunday church services. * [[JapaneseTeeth This Troper's]] high school was utterly full of these: ** '''COME OOOOONNNN!!!''' ** NOOO CHARLES!!! ** Hey, Kev, nice shoes, Kev Kev. ** GNAAAAAAAAA!!!! ** [[IPulledAWeirdAl Going Pope]] ** Citrus Man!! Up Up and Away! ** There are buffalo on you. ** Nottingham AAALLLLEEEE ** and many others. * This troper prepared explosive runes this morning. * The phrase "worshcloth" (which is apparently a southern accented way of saying washcloth)with my family. Specifically in teasing to our dear mother, who refuses to accept it as a southern way of saying washcloth. * Subverted with [[RayAyanami this troper]], whose friends are sick of him using memes (and, in a subversion of BeYourself, wish for him to change his speech and stop using them). He has set up a personal anti-meme penalty in which he forks over 25 cents every time he slips a meme in their presence. As of this edit, he has slipped 11 memes for a total penalty of $2.75 so far. So far, he's had to let some potentially [[CrowningMomentOfFunny funny]] quips go due to this SelfImposedChallenge. ** Screw the challenge, continue your memeage, young person! * DHL. That is all I have to say. Well actually no, I have more to say than that. My dad joined DHL, and now it's stalking us, so we just have to point it out whenever we see it. ** Also, an angry growl sound from me when I was a little kid in response to "What sound does an angry spider make?" has become a meme. * This troper and his mate have a couple of these between them. Among the more memorable ones: ** "Giant Alex sexy dance crotch shot!" (in response to seeing ''{{Madagascar}} 2'' in IMAX) ** Beeping each other's nose and going "Pook!", in the hopes of getting each other to flop around like a fish (my mate often does so while imitating Magikarp, for some reason) ** Debating over whether or not the fact that Kintaro of MortalKombat fame has two sets of arms means he's got two of [[BiggusDickus another part of his anatomy...]] ** Similarly, debating over whether or not [[SonicTheHedgehog Tails]] is a CelibateHero or a slut. ** Attempts to outmatch each other's personal FurryFandom kinks and/or {{Squick}}ing each other out with BrainBleach-inducing thoughts

(for instance, his teasing me that Delia Ketchum from {{Pokemon}} is a hermaphrodite). ** My ruining each and every one of his jokes by not saying what he wants me to say (for instance, trying to get me to say "I'm positive" for a family joke, and only getting "I'm sure", instead) ** And, of course, the eerie number of times we've synced up with each other, whether it be with finishing each other's sentence, or using the same hand gesture while playing RockPaperScissors to determine who goes first in ''{{Yu-Gi-Oh}}''. * In [[InsanityInside this troper's]] high school our Physics teacher was considered something of a MemeticBadass. We would make up Chuck Norris-esque 'facts' about him, such as 'He moves so fast a unit of speed was named after him. Unfortunately it was too large to actually use.'. There were also 'facts' about some other teachers (One of them was apparently a vampire), the Kettle of Doom (Nobody remembers where that one came from any more) and, of course, Jzek (a.k.a. Joey): a bust of an unidentified man with a mustache, which we decided was our class mascot. Jzek disappeared suddenly after the end of our second year. From that point on we would come up with plans to break into wherever we thought Jzek might be at that moment and steal him back. Also, I once started a picket in the middle of a particularly boring History lesson, demanding Jzek's return. I've never seen the class so united. * This troper's various memes with his friends.. ** "I ''DON'T'' have a hump!" ** "You has the humps?" "The humps?!" "MA HUMPS MA HUMPS" "Humps of sugar in ma tea!" etc. ** A more widespread meme is simply back and forth, completely ridiculous arguments that seem entirely serious to anyone who doesn't know us. "Cody, you're such a jerk! Why don't you just leave?" "I'M a jerk? You just said my mom should die!" "Well she should!" IT CROSSES THE LINE SO MANY TIMES THAT WE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHETHER TO BE OFFENDED OR NOT. ** Then there's "O HAI GAIZ!!! * spastic hand waves* " ** And we continuously insert short person jokes, mostly directed at a certain friend. When she's not around and the jokes are made, nervous looks all around are had by all, because she hits [[CuteBruiser HARD]]. ** "YOU'RE A CUNT!" "People can't be cunts, Katie." "B-but...!" "[[NoJustNo NO, JUST NO.]]" ".... you're a cunt." "WE'VE ALREADY COVERED THIIIIIIIS" ** And one that derives from Doctor Who.. "You're Mister [Blank] [Blank] [Blank]ety [Blank]face from [Blank]town [Blank]ania... and so's your dad!" And sometimes the blanks are PRONOUNCED instead of filled in with an adjective... ** "It's so... pink.. ish... ness.. ly." "Pinkishnessly?" "SHUT UP" ** "It's orange!" "That's not orange, it's peach!" "I'd say it's got some pink in it.." "It's more of an orange cream, really." "IT'S ORANGE!!" "My mom is a professional artist, I can bring in some color swatches." "Those color swatches are at ''least'' ten years old, the color's faded!" "Look, it says ''Orange Creme'' right here on the container!" "ORANGE IT'S ORANGE WHAT DON'T YOU PEOPLE UNDERSTAND?!"

** "Hey, Atticus" became an epic meme because of it being the first thing Scout said in an annoying high voice in the {{To Kill A Mockingbird}} movie. Hilarity ensued when she used the line a second time at the jail. Other memes were "He fucking ONE SHOT FINCHED that dog!" and "Dill is honest in bed" *** Really? In my school, when we were watching ''To Kill A Mockingbird'' (the older one), I wrote in my notes "Gregory Peck looks stern" when I couldn't think of anything else to write. It now appears in virtually all of my notetaking. **** All of the above made me [[CrowningMomentOfFunny laugh harder than I ever have, ever.]] You win the internet, good sir. * This troper's high school French class spawns memes almost on a daily basis. Some of the most memorable: ** "Build your immune system!" ** "TWOOOO SCOOOOPS." *** If this is in reference to the American Gladiator participant with the nickname "Two Scoops", then you win. ** "Donkey pie!" ** "You fart in my nuts!" ** Anything to do with [[TransparentCloset David Archuleta's sexual orientation]] ** Asians as [[MemeticBadass Memetic Badasses]] in general, and one kid in particular * Around this troper's school, quoting anything from [[SaturdayNightLive On A Boat]] is considered memely. Given the song's [[ClusterFBomb content]], the teachers tend to dislike this trend. * This troper's school is a meme-hive. The only ones I'm directly responsible for, I swear, are the Grapefruit Club and accompanying dance motions, Lobster Thermidor (and the Lobster [[ReignOfTerror Jacobins]], which now has ten members and counting), not doing things because "there's a man there!", {{woobie}} Jesus, the ''GoodOmens'' quotes, [[RockyHorrorPictureShow elbow sex, "Be my Riff-Raff!", mercy killings]], [[TheVampireChronicles Claudia having two daddies]], and the Journey crowd song. Also, one of our students will be repeatedly asked "Where's Trig?" ** From tenth grade: "inappropriate shirt tucking" (unfortunately, this is based off an actual incident with a borderline-ephebophile teacher), talking about slapping women in a bad Sean Connery imitation, naughty techno dance parties, [[FightClub kissing Jared Leto on the mouth]] (along with the first and second rules of Latin Club being the oft-broken "you do ''not'' talk about Ganymede",) shirtless pictures of Sean Connery (now, not as Bond) being treated as dangerous EldritchAbomination-caliber nightmare fuel, and the phrase "drink whiskey, skip school". Also, '''"no spandex!"''' ** "Jocasta so nasty", "you're so callipygian", [[{{Watchmen}} Adrian Veidt]]'s middle name being "[[PrecisionFStrike fucking]]", "Adrian, this apple juice tastes funny", "[[BeautyAndTheBeast every last inch of me's covered with hair!]]" and, in the most over-the-top CampGay German-accented voice possible, "[[HotForTeacher Herr Z]] is hot. He is so, so hot." ** "I gotta knife! Cut cut cut!" "How much ''do'' it pay to scrangle a lady?" "What? I'm ''heeeeelping!''", undercover gingers, "well, what

do you hate most about America?" "Tanzania, Tanzaniaaaaa~" * This entry is lovingly dedicated to the students and staff of my high school: "DON'T TAZE ME, MR. FRIEDMAN!!!!" ** Explanation: The aforementioned teacher has a tazer in his room for some reason. * [[{{Magus}} This troper]]'s high school class of around 30 went to Israel for their class trip in February. Two of my friends entered a shop and the shopkeep inquired "What ees thees?" while gesturing to one of my friends' prominent Adam's apple. It has since become tradition for one to poke the other in the throat while asking "What ees thees?" * When something surprising occurs, this troper likes to exclaim "Oh, ''my!''" in his most [[StarTrek Sulu]]-esque voice. I've also recently discovered the joys of OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAANND, and for some reason that escapes me, I like to use the phrase "How... ''very'' awkward" in my best [[StarWars Emperor Palpatine]] voice. * The line "Who is kaidon?" from Halo: The Cole Protocol has achieved meme status among this troper and his friends. * Among my close friends--and I have precious few--several memes are shared. "You don't fuck with the system!" "You know why that happened!? You fucked with the SYSTEM!" "Left... foot... forward! Right foot forward!" "I'll fill you so full of X you'll be using your dick for a Z!" and so on, and so forth, ad infinitum. * This troper ''nearly'' created some of this with the phrase "those buildings are pretty epic" on /tg/. It died within the thread, despite people insisting on its mematization, because the first thing it produced was RuleThirtyFour of a ''{{Warhammer 40000}} building kit''. * While playing sports of any kind, even snooker, the standard response when you miss a shot amongst this troper's friends is to yell "POST-N-IN!". Also, [[{{WorldOfWarcraft}} WoW]] dwarves are sexy, and this troper is the Umbro Man from Umbro lane. * [[DarkSoldier This troper]] has seen some mutation in his gaming group and at school. ** In the group, I'm directly responsible for "[[DeadMansChest We check the trunk for bodies]]" whenever purchasing transport with storage space, and "Barkeep, it's gonna happen again!" which is used to remind me of stupid things I've done in-game. In a {{Stargate SG1}}/StarWars crossover, we got "So, we're on Gand..." to indicate that we're waiting for everyone to stop goofing off and start the game. A former member of the group, who left before I joined, was notorious for character mortality. ** My Game Design course includes a class on editing. One of our assignments was to put together a short scene. One line of dialogue has become a meme: "Be cool, man, be cool! Don't be a fool!" * On one internet forum, This Troper created a new meme out of an already existing meme. Because of a CandleJack joke gone horribly wrong, it is now common there to finish sentences and entire posts without getting of * This Troper's gaming community has many: ** Kiwi speaking in third person. Always. ** Kiwi's mother being deaf. ** Clif has a HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE head.

** ALL HAIL THE RADIO ** Adding "Receive bacon." to the end of all lists. ** The very existence of Chestnut, a carrier from [[Homeworld]] that must be sacrificed to continue the game. ** Not to mention the Ur-Example at this troper's school, spawned from a poorly done sex-ed video. The response to any question about "What's wrong?" or "What's the matter?": I HAVE WARTS ON MY VAGINA! I can't believe I just said that... I HAVE WARTS. ON MY VAGINA. * This Troper's extended family has "Hey look, it's her mom!" after one of us kept yelling it at several slideshow photos in a row that did, indeed, have her mom. * [[{{Kasu}} This Troper's]] improvisation class's teacher once got shunned by a local newspaper, proclaiming "[troupe name] Not Professional, Not Funny". From then on, we all show disdain, fake or otherwise, by pantomiming writing on our hands while shaking our heads and saying "Not professional, not funny." * [[{{Kasu}} This Troper]], again, has a few in between his friends: ** "We don't know what you're talking about." ** "Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii [name]!" Usually followed with an exaggeratedly sped up/slowed down hand wave. ** "I haz X!" "I TAKE YOUR X." "Aww, now I don't has X." ** "IT'S LIKE I CAN TOUCH YOUUUUUU." ** "STOP WEARING HATS." ** From the choir: Everything is Yoni's fault. ** "Why is it/Why are there X?" "Because Florida exists." * Shakespearian insults are the big meme at my school after an English exercise that we all thought was hilarious. Now we all insult each other with Shakespearian insults. "Gleeking, fat-kidneyed fustilarian" is a particular favourite. * I'm not sure if I'm going to even try, but to me, the Foot Soldier from TMNT: Smash Up, is a MemeticBadass, having the ability to defeat the Shredder and kick Krang's ass while eating a Pizza... with his mask still on (I call him [[{{Fan Nickname}} Bob]].) ** I also seem to have a habit of saying "It's [[{{DigiMon}} MyotisMon]]", when the third series was out, unfortunately, I was wrong, but I put it up for laughs now and again. ** Additionally, I also say "Gordon Freemant, what are you working on?", from Half, er, Quarter-Life: Halfway to Destruction, it's just weird hearing it. This troper and her father regularly greet each other with "Alfalfa" since we watched Kung Pow. It's somewhat of a meme in our half of the household now. * She and her friend also have a habit of roaring "KHAAAAAAAAN!", as well as responding to many questions with "Of course!" ala Bison in the Street Fighter movie, complete with dramatic turn. * In [[{{Reimu}} this troper's]] family, the prototypical response to cases of [[DidNotDoTheResearch not doing the research]] or [[RalphWiggum utterly idiotic behavior]] is "Chairman Mao!" We also tend to end sentences in [[{{Yu-Gi-Oh The Abridged Series}} "...IN AMERICA!!"]] * In this tropers family, we say "eh, patcha?" as a WTF expression. i

really dont remember why. * [[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Frog753 This troper]] has a whole bunch. Adapted from other media are my tendency to do my best Admiral Ackbar impression whenever some situation comes up in something that is clearly a trap, and also my tendency to describe large things as being "of considerable girth" after seeing the videos of Robjn Taylor on Youtube. And now that I've finished the first season of Gundam 00, I'll never be able to see a Pontiac Trans-Am anywhere without shouting out "Trans-Am!" as if it's a big deal. Also, whenever my dad sees something at a distance and misidentifies it, I shout "Dinosaurs", to remind him of a time when he though a paiting of grapes on the side of a barn was a painting of dinosaurs. ** But wait, I'm not done! The RPG club I was in at school also had a lot of its own very persistent memes originating from our fairly standard GURPS campaign. One was how an NPC in our party, who had been played the year before by a guy who wasn't available last year, was constantly, according to the GM "sitting in the corner, polishing his weapon" when not in combat. Another meme was the phrase "visual aids", and the NPC name Brenny Longshanks. And one of our members had a very particular catchphrase that he always shouted when entering combat. * In this troper's family, the latest (and most annoying) meme is "Brian". Brian is one of my dad's friends who has an odd way of referring to his dump truck - no, not [[{{AccidentalInnuendo}} that]]; an actual dump truck. He'd pronounce it as "muh DUMP truck". In the original meme, we'd simply mock his pronounciation, but over time my brother and his friend have begun making up other phrases using Brian's style of speech. Now Brian has [[{{MemeticMutation}} somehow evolved]] into a rapist, domestic terrorist and an abuser of drugs and his wife. It's made all the more funny by the fact that the REAL Brian is an upstanding family man. ** "Go ahead and choke on your Crunch N' Munch!" said by my mom to my dad when, in the middle of some sort of heated discussion, my dad decided to snack on some Crunch N' Munch. The fact that he has a smoker's cough and tends to choke when he eats is what prompted my mom to say it. ** A less prominent, but still notable meme in this troper's family is [[{{TrinityBlood}} Abel Nightroad]] wearing a dress and apron and [[{{MisterSeahorse}} being pregnant]]. It originated not from an imageboard, not from a bad yaoi website - but from the darkest pits of [[{{CovertPervert}} this troper's own sketchbooks]]. * Somehow, one of this troper's friends had taken to referring to the hand of another of her friends as Alfred. [[AxisPowersHetalia Then we learned Alfred was America.]] Her hand was henceforth referred to as America. * [[SpiriTsunami This troper]] was considering taking a class on babysitting at one point, and his mother was warning him about [[TinkleInTheEye the dangers of taking care of baby boys]]. Out of nowhere, his little sister (who neither of us thought was even ''listening'' to the conversation) pipes up from the back seat, "And that's why you've gotta wear [[GogglesDoNothing goggles]]!" ** That was a [[FountainOfMemes particularly rich time]] in her life. Also around the same time, "A beer would be nice" became a meme in our

family after she said it in response to our mother asking her if she wanted anything to drink (meaning non-alcoholic, of course). [[LittleMissSnarker She was about 9 at the time.]] ** A much earlier one involves a particularly long set of {{Mondegreen}}s for "Take Me Out to the Ballgame". My father always teases her by singing the lyrics she made up at age three. I try to sing the correct ones, but still often slip up and sing "Buy me some peanuts and ''Apple'' Jacks". (And no, [[BigBrotherInstinct I'm not about to embarrass her by putting the rest of the errors here.]] That would be rude.) ** Others that don't involve my sister: *** "Sulfuric puppy dogs"--this is what happens when you're not paying attention to the conversation going on and don't realize that the topic has changed. *** "One nine one nine one and nine." Thank Mapquest for this one. You know how it always gives all possible names for a road (usually so that if a road has both a proper name and a number, it can be identified by either)? Well, it rendered one road as "[=NJ-1/NJ-9/NJ-1 9/NJ-1 & 9=]" Route 1 and Route 9 are the same road at that point. * [[{{Dryhad}} This Troper's]] group of friends at school had a few: ** "I am ''trying'' to ''read''" usually when the speaker was obviously not reading anything. ** "Africa" spoken in a strange, childlike voice, as an answer to any and all "where" questions. ** "So am I, but you don't hear me bragging about it". [[BeamMeUpScotty Misquote from]] TheSimpsons. * From [[{{TMOH}} this troper's]] IB and pre-IB career: ** "This doesn't have anything to do with Julie Andrews, does it?" ** "Hydrogen bonds are ''magic''!" ** Mrs Jones, Queen of Math ** "That doesn't make any sense." "It doesn't have to. It's Russia!" * Memes from [[{{Arruruerie}} this troper's]] life include... ** [[EternalDarkness "CHARLEMAAAAGNE."]] *** [[FunetikAksent Doctah]] Edward Roivas. ** [[ResidentEvil "Hee hee. I unlocked it."]] *** [[CaptainObvious "Ohh, you're siblings."]] *** "You shoot like an Ashford." *** "She's infected. She's infected on a massive level." *** Anything that rhymes with "S.T.A.R.S." ---->'''Jill:''' I know this city like the back of my hand. ---->'''Nemesis:''' BARRRRRRS? ** [[{{Bleach}} "Jeagerjacquing" as a euphemism for impaling someone with one's bare hand.]] ** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v1_p_mTIvg "Somebody killed Raito? That was odd!"]] ** [[{{Fable}} Susan the (male) white balverine.]] *** "CLOOOOSING TIIIIIME... One last call for alcohol, so finish your whiskey or beer..." ** [[AxisPowersHetalia "Busby's cheaaaah..."]] ** [[SpaceGhostCoastToCoast "I'm Egyptian!"]] *** [[HisDarkMaterials "I'm a Gyptian!"]] *** [[ThisIsSPARTA "DO NOT - INTERRUPT - THE JUDGE."]]

** [[{{Psychonauts}} "THAT SMELLS LIKE FEAR, BOY!"]] ** [[DragonAge DWARVEN [Plural Noun]. FINE DWARVEN [Same Plural Noun].]] *** [[OptionalSexualEncounter Rogue orgies]]. *** [[GlassCannon Rogues]] are better warriors than warriors! *** [[{{Shrek}} Puss in Antivan leather boots!]] ** [[FostersHomeForImaginaryFriends Danish... Danishes!]] Also recently became [[DragonAge Dalish Dalishes]]. And on that note, [[TropicThunder "You don't say 'Chineses'!"]] * The chat for the role-playing game [[InsanityPrelude I]] used to run had a lot of them, but one of my favorites was when we'd spontaneously start quoting the [[DevilMayCry Lucifer]] [[DoubleEntendre cutscene]] from memory. "FIRST I WHIP IT OUT!..." * This troper and a friend were playing SuperSmashBros. when the friend mentioned that Peach had a certain similarity to the [[Left4Dead Tank]]. This troper, utterly bewildered, offered "She's an unstoppable engine of violence and rage?" Turned out he was talking about how she could pull turnips out of ''any'' surface, but we decided that mine was better. ** Also, credit goes to TV tropes, for the line the description was corrupted from. * An Envirofone ad airing from June 2009 has a fat man saying "Wonga!".This phrase has been added to lots of sentences, just to make them funnier.It works. Thre is also "Postal Gold", a similar company, whose spokesman looks like Barry Scott (of Cillit Bang fame).This similarity has led to the meme " Hi, i'm Barry Scott and I'm here to talk to you about GIVE ME YOUR GOLD JEWELERY." Combine the two if you dare. * [[VoodooChild This troper]] has a bunch with her friends and family. Half are from pop culture: ** [[JurassicPark "But when the Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don't ''eat'' the tourists!"]] (Said any time troper and her father hear the words "pirates" or "dinosaurs") *** But that line CONTAINS the word "pirates"! ** [[{{WWE}} Man, how are we ever gonna top that? Oh, I know - LIGHT IT ON FIRE!]] (Courtesy of Mick Foley) ** [[TinyToonAdventures "I'm (This Troper)." "I'm (This Troper's Friend)." "No relation."]] ** [[TinyToonAdventures Elelator go UPPP. Elelator go DOOOWWWN. I PUSH DA BUTTON!]] (This is why you never let this troper and her friends, even in our mid-twenties, on an elevator together.) ** [[FamilyGuy . . . because you touch yourself at night.]] (For years, due to never watching FamilyGuy, this troper thought her best friend had made that one up.) ** [[TheBluesBrothers We're on a mission from God]]. (This troper's friend became ''obsessed'' with this one for months after seeing ''The Blues Brothers'' for the first time.) ** And then there's the theatre-related in-jokes. "Shut UP, Shane!" (for an annoying kid at theatre camp) "All rawsty and muth-eaten . . ." (our Jesus in Godspell goofing up his lines) "Baker's Wife, Jack-amother, * hair flip* , Cinderella, Step-a-mother * hair flip* " (from a camp counselor who had the most incomprehensible accent, constant

hair-flipping, and CloudCuckoolander tendencies) "Where is mah daughter?!" (dance instructor with a rambunctious three-year-old) "You're an ''adulteress'', she's just a skank!" (after a cast member's [[ThrowItIn addition]] to the script) "You mad, murderous BEEEETCH!" (an actor's pronunciation issues) "The small, South American dictator" (what our orchestra director reminded us of) and finally, "I've come to make my vows of obesity" (epic line failure in "The Sound of Music"). * This troper sometimes begins muttering "Badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger MUSHROOM, MUSHROOM!" He has also gotten his brother started on the "It's over NINE THOUSAAAAAND!" meme. * Among this troper's circle of friends, there exists such memes as entering a room and shouting "WAZZAP?!" because of the Budweiser commercial, this troper or another friend being [[OnePiece sand/smoke/fire raeped]] after a rather insane chat conversation, breaking out into what they have dubbed "the Dead Bones Dance" at random times, suddenly shoop da woop-ing each other, sticking 'That's what she said!' or '...in bed.' to the end of someone's sentence and killing [[ButtMonkey Mitchell]] after a gave of Blahvian gone horribly wrong. * In Georgia(the US state), there was a series of commercials that went "Call seven seven oh, nine one six, one two three four OPEN THE DOOR". For a while people would just randomly sing that. ** In Minnesota, there was a Pizza Hut commercial that went "CALL 651-488-8888! PIZZA HUT DELIVERY IS ON ITS WAY!" ''Everyone'' sung it, all the time. * This Tropette's Nakama had a zillion. ** Jiggle Bench! ** [[SweeneyTodd Meat pies!]] ** (In an extremely surly voice) I don't ''have any potato cakes!'' ** I look good in Hot Pants? ** Harry Potter's my grandma! ** Why must you abuse my God-Given gifts? ** KEEL EET VITH FIYA! ** [[WatchMen And I'm Rorschach!]] ** [[TheWizardOfOz Take heart, Glinda fans!]] * This troper has a semi-friend that once watched an episode of America's Next Top Model, where one of the contestants said that she was competing "For Jesus!". Doing something "for Jesus" has reached memetic proportions in my journalism class. * This Troper's Nakama has spawned innumerable numbers of these, including: ** "[Subject] is insane... It's like some kind of crazy... devil... electro mass!" ** "So, what is it?" [Thank you, Red Dwarf!] ** Randomly shouting: "DAS BOOGIE!", particularly if it's obscurely related to the subject of discussion. ** Spontaneously yelling: "DAMN ABBACUS!" in similar situations. ** "You forgot [Friend X]!" ** A whole slew of Arnie quotes, including "PUT THAT COOKIE DOWN!" and "EVERYBODY CHEEL OOOUD."

** A rating scale for puns, starting at "Mr. Freeze/10" and ending at the standard ten. ** Constant working of derivation and tangents into casual conversation. ** Making excuses to say the word "anomalous" an anomalous amount of times daily. ** "Derp." "DERP." "DERP!" "Derp?" "Derp." ** "No-one cares" or "My care mug is empty" or "Error 404: Care not found" or the rare and precious subversion "Care noted." ** "[Troper] is a pedo, lololol" [This is why you never date younger girls, folks.] * Nobody at this troper's church id "broke." Thay're "temporarily out of cash." * [[{{Mariko-chan}} This Troper]] is now sadly known as a Japanese Cheerleader in her Chorus class. Why? Well, we all had to do something as an introduction. She did the dance to [[LuckyStar Motteke Sailor Fuku]]. There's a bunch of others in this same class, and a couple of others, too. * [[{{@/Quillpaw}} This troper's]] group of friends have several. ** Shouting "[[FernGully FERN GULLY]]!" when someone mishears something, due to an incident where a friend listened to an entire rant on how environmentalist Fern Gully is before sitting up and saying remarking "Hey, you know what an environmentalist movie is? Fern Gully!" ** "OH FERN GULL-ERY," after a bizarre mixture of the previous meme and an overdose of [[ZeroPunctuation Zero Punctuation's]] Wolfenstein review. ** "''[[CharlieTheUnicorn CHARLIE]]''[[CharlieTheUnicorn , you look quite down with your big sad eyes and your big fat frown!]] ** Rather than the "awkward turtle" our group uses the "awkward snowman." Take your two fists, stack one on top of the other, and place them under your chin. Aawwwwkward Snowman! * On a Transformers forum [[{{SpinOut}} this troper]] frequents, there are many memes. ** Using the phrase "LEGENDS OF BATMAN!" on certain things related to Batman. ** Build-Thing, a weird combiner made up of RiD Grimlock, Heavy load and Hightower. ** Having [[GhostRider]] be a choice in many polls for no real reason. ** [[http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1165930/Barrygiant-sea-worm-discovered-aquarium-staff-mysterious-attacks-coralreef.html Hellworms.]] * [[EtherealFrog This Troper]]'s friends have a [[strike:couple]] lot of inside jokes. ** "You should join senior band!", something our Polish music teacher claims pretty much every time anyone plays a song well. Later started including non-sequitur reasons, resulting in "I really like this sweater, you should join senior band!" ** Very subtle allusions to my somewhat {{Squick}}y [[{{Lemon}} reading habits]]. Only occasionally though. ** Jokes regarding my insane reading speed. May lead into the previous section.

** "IS THAT MINE CAT?" Supposedly came from an encounter with some Asian guy when trick or treating. Details are vague. ** "HA! 69! HA!" Self-explanatory really. It pops up pretty much every time the number 69 appears in anything. We're [[{{Understatement}} not very]] mature sometimes. ** Cannibalism jokes are fairly common, stemming from one friend's and my own tendency to bite people. ** "Be careful, he'll do a backflip and kick you in the face!". [[EtherealFrog This Troper]] can almost do a backflip, and can almost kick above the tallest person in the classes head. And I'm very violent. * Just going to drop every old high school private joke I can still remember: ** Due to then-current Mcdonalds commercials, the inevitable response to anyone saying "it could happen" was shouting "MCWOOOOOOORRRRLLLDDD!" ** When he first came to the school, one of us kept hearing one man's name being announced over the loud speaker several times a day, and therefor he assumed this had to be someone extremely important... it was in fact the janitor. So we turned him into our own MemeticBadass / (sometimes ''literal'') AlmightyJanitor. ** "When life gives you lemons... make peach cobbler!" (no idea how this even started - for some reason it was typically said in a bad JFK accent) ** "Oh please black man, don't kill me!" (originally from some MTV awards show; it was how Chris Rock summed up Martha Stewart's reaction to having to co-present an award with Busta Rhymes). UnfortunateImplications, perhaps, but it was primarily being said to or about people who weren't black, and half the time weren't even men either. ** "How's the stock market?" (said anytime there was a serious lull in conversation) ** My answer to any unanswerable question was [[HitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy 42]], someone else had "fish", and another of us had [[MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail "A shrubbery!"]]. There was a mock-argument about it once, and we decided to compromise with "42 fish and a shrubbery". * [[MmmKay This]][[{{Aposiopesis}} --]] * looks around* This page needs more glibble. ** glibble glibble glibble glibble glibble glibble glibble glibble glibble glibble glibble glibble glibble glibble glibble glibble glibble glibble glibble glibble glibble glibble glibble glibble glibble glibble glibble glibble glibble glibble glibble glibble glibble glibble glibble glibble glibble glibble glibble glibble glibble [[hottip:g:I keep putting "glibble" into the TvTropes search engine, even though I know [[ThisIsSparta IT! DOES NOT!]] '''[[ThisIsSparta EXIST!!!]]''' Actually, now that I put it here, it does. [[EvilLaugh Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!]]]] * WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF [[MeganPhntmGrl MEGANPHNTMGRL]]: ** "So Adrien plus [[{{Watchmen}} Bubastis]] should equal fun!" (This isn't a typo; it's Adrien Baillon in question, not Adrian Veidt.) ** "[[MemeticBadass Veidt Fact:]] When Adrian Veidt jumps in water, he

doesn't get wet. The water gets FIERCE." ** "[[ThisIsSparta NEIGHBOR KID. STOLE. MY BIKE.]]" ** "[[TheVampireChronicles OH LOOOOUUUIS!]] WE'RE MARRIED NOW!" ** [[TroperWorks/TwoGuysAGirlAndAnAversionToSunlight ~* ~flippyflippyflippy~* ~]] ** "You can tell it's CRAAAAAAZY because the letters are crooked." ** "[[{{Sealab2021}} Goddamn. Chupacabra.]]" *** Also, "I want you to, uh, file my briefs." ** "...because that's what X DOES." ** OH X. OH YOU. ** "Why is there tea on the thing? There is ''tea'' on the ''thing''. '''WHY.'''" ** "YOU CAN'T HANDLE A POST LIKE MINE!" ** "We are vampires. We have wristwatches." ** "You SOLD your SOUL to my DAD!?" ** Pheremones. ** "But sir, what am I supposed to do with a panda?" ** MANROAR!!! ** Cause we're floatin'/On a people raft/A people people people people people people people raft... * [[LockonLockon This Troper's]] [[{{Nakama}} cadre]] has [[SassyBlackWoman Sassy Black Women]] as our recurring joke. * Ever since it appeared in an Admin rant against Apple and Nintendo, "iDunno" has all but completely replaced "I dunno" and "I don't know" on a forum this troper moderates. Others include: ** "[[BigO Cast in the name of God,]] [[EverythingsFunkierWithDisco ye not FUNKY!]]" ** My own lack of promotion (stuck as a local moderator for the past two years) on said forum seems on it's way to meme-hood as well... * This troper's classmates were playing Halo once (He doesn't have an XBox) and all of a sudden, one of them said "You just got ninja turtled!" while killing someone. Now, whenever someone does something "awesome" enough, they shout "You jsut got ninja turtled!". * This troper once was playing Dynasty Street(some random computer game) and his little cousin commented that the stick-man looked like a ninja. We were arguing over it, and I took the thing uncommon for stick figures that it had; eyes. So, I said "Ninjas don't have eyes, you should know that.". EVERYONE in the room burst out laughing, and now anyone in my family will laugh if someone says those words. Guess what many people in my family say quite often? * this troper's school and extended family have a boatload of these many of which I started we have:it's all ____'s fault howcould you _____? I'LL THROW STEWART AT YOU!, SUCK MY BACK!, that's ignorant!, You stuck your what in a what year old's what?, Life is about being wasted. and my favourite: WHY WAS THERE BACON IN THE SOAP? * In my little group of four, we were talking about what we thought of Transformers2 (long story short: I'm the only one of them who doesn't like it), and somehow we reached a consensus that most people went to it to see Megan Fox's...ahem...performing. When the only female member of the group chimed in about how she loved that movie, [[LesYay "Ha ha lesbian!"]] [[HilarityEnsues jokes ensued]] for a while. [[HaveIMentionedIAmHeterosexualToday Denial also ensued.]]

* If you've taken Physics at Rolla, Missouri, then you ''know'' what to ask when solving a free-body problem: "Did you ''TOUCH'' the vector?" * This troper has quite a few: ** My lady friends: *** [[AxisPowersHetalia PASTA/VODKA/MAPLE!!!]] *** [[SickAndWrong Let's NOT have this conversation!]] *** [[TheOdyssey Don't touch the cows]]! *** [[TheSims Nica-raaaaa-gua]]. *** [[GagBoobs My huge boobs.]] *** [[FullmetalAlchemist "I love dogs!"]] *** [[LoonyFan "Do the]] [[DragonballZ Broly]] [[VicMignogna voice!"]] ** 9th Grade U.S. History *** NukeEm! *** [[EverybodyDies They died]]! *** "What's with the nuking and death?" *** [[BlatantLies * teacher's cell phone goes off* "Coffee cup?"]] ** 9th Grade English *** [[RomeoAndJuliet "Banishd!"]] *** [[RomeoAndJuliet "You saucy boy!"]] * "One of those slices of pizza could fill up one person. I ate 2!" was said by an industrial tech teacher in middle school, and now it is an immortal line with me and some of my friends. * This troper has Ascended into a Meme amoung her Newspaper classmates, it started when she misspelled "Time' as "Tine" on a paper they kept joking about it, then their was her problems she had pronouncing her TH's so the way she said either, three, and birthday was made fun of, the troper is commonly asked "for the tird tine, I dont know eather..", for awhile she hated it, but when they started to copy how she drinks sodas through a straw she felt flattered. * [[{{X2X}} This Troper]] has the shout "{{Narm}}alade!" (no, it has nothing to do with ''MarmaladeBoy''), originally used to describe a particular scene in the [[LargeHam Kenneth Branagh]] version of ''{{Hamlet}}'', now used for all things {{Narm}}y. It's not ''quite'' a meme, just I'll get it there in due time. Also, there's an AP English RunningGag-turned-meme revolving around literary characters (usually [[WilliamShakespeare Shakespearean]]) and how they're brimming with HoYay. Finally, several of my friends frequent [[{{Imageboards}} 4Chan]] and the like, so they usually repeat memes ("THEN WHO WAS PHONE?!") like no one's business. * This troper has had several short-lived memes begin in her school. Her [[CoolTeacher history and poetry teacher]], for one thing. There had been a Irish poem that he read about an girl named Anna Grace who was taken by the fairies. We have a girl named Anna in our class, and she's Irish. If ever she's absent, we will say she went to live with the fairies (or her brother will say that she was taken to jail, which is another meme). Also, after we read Kubla Khan, he kept saying stuff like, "X historical figure, who wrote KUBLA KHAN!" He's strange. At our school play, [[TheFool one of her fellow classmates]] messed up several lines to the point they became memes. Finally, her math and science teacher, after being beseeched with requests to do yoga

instead of math, responded (with a completely serious expression) "Yoga's from hell." * This troper and her sister have a thousand of these. Right now, our favorites would have to be lines from [[HomestarRunner Homestar Runner]], usually Homsar's lines such as "I'm a trendy tote-bag." or "I'm not gonna lie to you, that's healthy piece of real estate." A HUGE running joke between us and our friend involves the Halloween episode about the jibblies, where one of us will say 'Come on in here!' and the others will follow with 'Jibblie jibblie jibblie!'. Aside from Homestar lines, we also scream when someone dies in a movie "[[LordoftheRings GAAAAAAAANDAAALF!]] [[HarryPotter DUMBLEDOOOOOOORE!]] [[ShortCircuit JOHNNY]] [[ThatGuyWiththeGlasses FIIIIIIiiiiiiIIIIIiiiiIIIVE!]]", therefore rendering any emotional death {{Narm}}. There are a million others, but this is a huge block of text already, so just consider every meme a running gag in my house. * This troper spread this one in my small school...GORDON FREECHMAN WAS STUDYING IN HIS WAS STUDYING LABORATORY... * This Troper's school has many: ** GAY. HIPPIE. VIKINGS. (In response to "Who did this" style questions ** Hitler SKULL FUCKED YOUR MOM! (I actually don't know on this one) ** I'm circumcised, I don't come from the hood. ** Mr. Redeker killed a guy! (One of our teachers recently found out that he had a box of unidentified bones in his science room) ** NO ONE QUOTES HANNIBAL. EVAH. ** Cunt. PAWNCH! (Any or every groin attack, even on males) * [[{{PopTart}} This troper]] and her {{Nakama}} have quite a few. ** "There's not enough bread on this sandwich!" "That's because it's a SALAD!" ** [[NickiMinaj "I like cheese. Lots and lots of cheese."]] ** "Derpshark", coined after a particularly hilarious runthrough of the Boom Town level in {{LittleBigPlanet}}. *** "CACTUS! MY FAVORITE THING!" *** [[{{Firefly}} "Were I unwed, I would take this cactus in a manly fashion."]] *** [[NickiMinaj DERPSHARK MINAJ IS WHO YOU AIN'T FUCKIN' WITH]] ** "Girl, don't make me take my 'urrings out." ** "CAN I HAVE YO' NUMBA? CAN I HAAAAAAAVE IT?" ** [[TheLonelyIsland LIKE A BAWSS!]] ** "Now I'm feelin' so fried like a cheese stick." * "I Sneer Contemptuously at him, [[DungeonsAndDragons as a free action]]" * This troper has several memes in her house: ** [[ResidentEvilDarksideChronicles "It's attack of the killer tofu" or "It's night of the living tofu" when referring to Darkside Chronicles tofu mode.]] ** [[ResidentEvil3 "S.T.A.R.S." said in a crackish sounding voice.]] ** The RickRoll ** [[TheXFiles "I'm thinking about having you examined for drug use or mental illness... Or a serious head injury," when anyone is acting really stupid.]]

* [[{{Uerian}} This troper]]'s AP US history class had a quiz question that asked how some (unspecific) slaves got back at their masters; one of the answers was cutting themselves and getting blood on the food that they served, spreading diseases like syphilis. The next quiz asked for the most used weapon against Native Americans, and as a joke, one of the answers was "syphilis tanks". From then on, there was at least one reference to syphilis in most of the quizzes and tests we took, and we almost got class t-shirts with "syphilis tanks" on them. * one of This Troper's calculus classrooms had 'TheCakeIsALie' written on the wall sideways. Right next to it? 'The Cake Is A Trap' * This troper's high school had a few of these going on during Junior and Senior years: ** "Welcome to my lovely home", lifted from Jim Carrey's preformance during the Series of Unfortunate Events film and used by yours truly as a greeting during one year's haunted house. ** "Bob Dole" and "Your mom" being perfectly acceptable answers to any question. ** "Jizzed in My Pants" being one of the most quotable songs we found on youtube. ** Random Crap Pokemon Cards, which made pretty much everyone in school [[MemeticBadass memetic badasses]]. ** A long held theory that I was, in fact, Bill Gates in a thin disguise. * Every single time this troper has to use dices in his local gaming club, be it for a board game, a RPG or what have you, he'd say "[[Warhammer40K Yeah, I hit him ! Now, time for its armor save !]]" * This troper's camp group had "[[UnusualEuphemism purple]]". ** "It's snowing in Hawaii." ** "[[ThisIsSPARTA ROCKS. DON'T. BURN.]]" ** [[TeamMom Jen]] killed it. No exceptions. [[MemeticSexGod Also, if they are male, legal, and attractive, she has bagged and tagged.]] ** "[[CoolAndUnusualPunishment SPIRIT CHECK!]]" "NOOOOO!" * [[{{Vendetta}} This troper]] and her friends have quite a few memes among them. These include: "[[{{Gratuitous English}} COME GET]], [[{{This Is For Emphasis Bitch}} BITCH]]", "THE TREE IS [[{{Seme}} SEME]]", "THE SKY IS BLUE", "MERCHICKENS", "[[{{Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney}} OBJECTION]]", and "CURTSY FOR ME, KOREAN BOY". Not to mention, "THE [[{{Testosterone Poisoning}} MANLINESS]], IT BLINDS" in regards to our [[{{Bifauxnen}} Bifauxnen]] friend. And after having read [[{{Romeo and Juliet}} Romeo and Juliet]] in class, our newest additions include "VESTAL LIVERY" and "'''QUUUIVERING''' THIGHS". * You may want to take a seat, as this troper has quite a few; ** It's become something of a meme between my group of pals that i can do anything. Except play the Saxaphone. This developed after an arguement that involved mimicking tunes with only your voice and your hands, and at one point i uttered "Well pardon me for not being able to play the goddamn Saxaphone. * beat* With my voice." ** I also happen to have a number of injokes with a friend of mine in California;

*** "So... Anything good on last night?" "No, just reruns." "It's always goddamn reruns..." *** "Why don't you go X... Or whatever it is you do when i'm Y." "DRINKING!" *** (Usually uttered by one of us when the other sets out to do something they haven't done before) "Shall i go get the cheerleader uniform and the pom poms?" *** "Don't be cute." "TOO LATE!" (Or "Don't be cute." "But i thought you LIKED that?") *** I feel it should be worth pointing out at this point that we both like boot blacking VERY MUCH. * After showing a friend the cut scene from Wizard of Oz which has the Scarecrow FLYING, he asked, "How can he do that?" I replied, "BECAUSE HE'S THE MOTHAF--KIN SCARECROW OF OZ!" It's become a recurring meme with us. * "There had BETTER BE HONEY-MUSTARD!" * This troper helped start one at his school; a classmate was participating in a volleyball match and had invited a few of us to go watch. Out of earshot, it was decided to mark every time he scored a goal with the "Ha-ooh! Ha-ooh! Ha-ooh!" cry from ThreeHundred, complete with skypunching. It ended up working perfectly, earning not a few surprised glances, but in the end others joined in. Since then it became standard procedure to acknowledge the [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome awesomeness of any event]] with this cry and skypunch. * [[{{Raekuul}} Susquon]]... is a ZOMBIE STALKER! ** ZOMBIE SHOPKEEPER! *** An explanation: In the MMO Trickster Online, Raekuul runs three characters on one server: [[MeaningfulName CreepyStalkerBoy]], Susquon, and [[HimechanNoRibon SeiArei]]. The other day, a friend of mine and her sister were talking about how I wasn't at the keyboard while running a user shop, a little bit north of where I'd set up shop (and close enough for their convo to show up on my chatbox)... just as I got home from running my errands. Naturally, the first thing to come out of their mouths was "AAAGH! ZOMBIE SHOPKEEPER!" The Zombie Stalker thing came from Friend's Sister's mouth before complimenting me on [[MeaningfulName CreepyStalkerBoy]] for... some reason... maybe the irony of it? ** More from Raekuul, his family, friends, acquaintances, and so forth: *** "Sarcastically given statement of thanks, ''smart one''" *** "Holy Crap, that's in 5/8!" *** "No more Ramen before Eleven..." *** "Don't close my laptop." *** "It was hiding." "In plain sight. If it was a snake, it would have bit me." * The Newspaper staff at [[{{Gancena}} This Troper's]] school has several Memetic in-jokes going. ** There's a girl named Julia. What do our classmates sing? "Julia! You know I'd never make a fool of ya!" It even appeared as a ''Valentine's Day message'' in the February issue! AND it once got a ukulele remix!

*** One student even RickRolld another in that same issue. ** Last year, the song "Believe" by Cher was essentially the staff's theme song. It still is, to an extent. ** Also last year, one girl accidentally burned a cookie in the microwave. She also went on an errand once and didn't come back. We were concerned to the point where we made a schoolwide announcement calling for her. We do not not let her live either incident down. ...Okay, ''I'' don't let her live it down. But others laugh, so it's still memetic. * This Troper's sister once made a really stupid speaking mistake: in August, she was preparing for a showcase performance due to start in September. When our mom asked if she'd be ready, my sister replied, "Yeah, I've got all of October to prepare." Since then, in the family, "I've got all of October" is basically the go-to meme. My sister hates it. * A person I know once told another person I know "your little plan has backfired" during an argument and was actually serious about it, even though the other person didn't actually have a "little plan" in the first place. Now me and my brother regularly say that to each other at random moments. * This troper and his friend have somehow ended up with shouting "ISRAEL!" at the top of our voices at a tv screen as a meme. Don't ask... It involves sleep deprivation and a Family Feud NES game. * Me and my brothers have "[[{{Clue}} I didn't do it!]]" and "Eraser is your ''frieeeeeeeeend''." Also, my spanish class has "Iron the cat." After our teacher said that instead of "Iron the clothes." Actually, my spanish class has a lot of these: CrazyAwesome [[BunnyEarsLawyer Bunny Ears Teachers]] + (often)rowdy students + bad translations = plenty of memes. Notable ones include "freak you!", "the F-U verb" (the preterite form of ser/ir), and "dos puntos!" (two points). I love my class. ** Same troper here. I've also obtained something of a MemeticBadass status with some of the guys, despite being a not that tall, thin, shy, quiet girl. Actually, it's kind of because of the "quiet" part. It started when one of the other quiet girls snapped, and after a while I was the only one who hadn't yet. Somehow, it mutated from "(troper's name) is gonna be scary when she snaps" to "(troper's name) is an assassin who keeps a gun and a block of C-4 in her purse!" This has resulted in more than one CrowningMomentOfFunny where I reach into my purse, and the boys hide in fear. I'm sure they're just joking, but sometimes, they really make me wonder... ** Also, this: --->'''My Little Brother:''' * pretends to be dead* \\ '''Me:''' Huzzah! * This troper and his brother are both reading {{Darths and Droids}}, and in this troper's case, Gunray's order to "seal off the blidge" has become a meme. * On a message board I used to be on, it was a tradition that the first of October every year, someone had to start a thread letting [[GreenDay Billie Joe Armstrong]] know that he can wake up. You know, [[DontExplainTheJoke because of the song "Wake Me Up When September Ends"]].

* [[{{Gizbit99}} This Troper's]] after school film club has a few of them. ** "LISA GERRARD!" *** "No." *** (epic stern face) "WHAAAAT?" ** References to insanity being a prerequisite for membership, and people being chased out of hte club because of their being too sane. ** "Welcome to the drawing-on-the-chalkboard club!" (we don't do nearly as much filming as drawing on the chalkboard. This troper feels bad about using up all of the teacher's chalk) ** References to this troper's incredible stoicism. Sometimes followed immediately by said troper doing something incredibly silly. ** Everyone MUST die at some point. ** [[ButtMonkey Bad things always happen to Garett.]] * This troper's rp's have created several miniature memes, including LOL Dylac, for when said character was LaughingMad. There is also some obscure thing about [[BigBad Mellura Azazel]] being shipped with the cactus he carries everywhere... * Koda Kumi has become this for me and one of my best friends, after said friend described Koda as "the whore-queen of Japan". Now, every time Koda is mentioned, the phrase "the whore-queen of Japan" will emerge. And always in a positive light. * This Troper and her Mom are NCIS fans. So, since seeing an episode wherein Gibbs makes Kate drink lots of water, the phrase, "hydrating's good for you" has taken on a life of its own. * The location, a small park playground. The time, late afternoon, and a thunderstorm was brewing. All was quiet except a distant rumble of thunder. And then... "FRANKIE! SOPHIA! STOP PLAYING, WE NEED TO LEAVE! SEE THOSE CLOUDS?! THERE'S GONNA BE LIGHTNING! LIGHTNING WILL SET YOU ON '''FIRE''' FRANKIE! LET'S GOOOOOO!" And my mother and I, who happened to be in the vicinity and overheard this bizarre moment (not a difficult feat, if the caps lock is any indication), have ensured that this hapless lady will be forever dubbed "Psycho-mom" and the especially memorable "LIGHTNING WILL SET YOU ON '''FIRE''' FRANKIE!" will live in infamy through our endlessly regurgitating the quote until it dies a horrid death in the memetic trash bin. * ''Several'' among this Troper and her best friend (who is also a Troper). I doubt I'll even be able to remember all of them to list here! *** "What do ''YOU'' do!?" (With emphasis on the 'you'; it started when we were rping and the friend said it wearing a funny hat) *** "Bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh." (A ''HomestarRunner'' reference...sorta) *** "Only ''TWO''!?" (A combination of a line from ''WillyWonkaAndTheChocolateFactory'' that I got wrong and a line from the movie of ''HitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy'', said in a weird, screetchy fake British accent) *** Referring to said friend's brother as 'the underwear store' due to misquoting ''Anchorman'' *** Humming the refrain to 'Sora Iro Days' whenever HumongousMecha are mentioned and doing likewise with 'Hare Hare Yukai' any time someone mentions Haruhi

*** "Why you do that?" * This troper's English class has "yellow" as a euphemism for bisexual. It started when [[TheDitz a girl in class]] was asked what color best represented her, and the answer was "Yellow, because it goes both ways." She was trying to say that the color yellow was gender-neutral and it fit her because she was tomboyish, but... * Back in [[{{ThisTroper}} this troper's]] elementary days, the date "January 9" became something of a celebration amongst our batch. What's to celebrate? [[{{Squick}} A classmate soiling himself at school on that very month and day]]. * There's a series of hand-gestures going around where this troper lives consisting of "Awkward Memetic Mutation Here" and an accompanying gesture. Spawned from "Awkward Turtle", in which one places one's hands over each other, palm down, and wiggles the thumbs. Intended for use in awkward situations. ** ThisTroper has seen it progress from "Awkward Turtle" to "Awkward Fish" to "Awkward Llama". Then everyone got caught up with the llama gesture and started using variations on the llama for any situation. *** This Troper's brother does a succession of hand gestures and names them in order: "Walking llama, running llama, sleeping llama, upside-down llama, happy llama, sad llama, dead llama- FLYING SQUIRREL." And would end with his hand "flying away" into the air. *** Taken to the logical extreme with Ferociously Awkward Pterodactyl. *** There's a whole ocean of awkwardness out there, including the AwkSquid and the Subtle Shark. *** This troper has seen an Awkward Pagoda. *** This troper been trying to introduce a new one called Awkard Bat, so far its been used by her friends two times. *** This troper and his friends have a running joke about an entire set of awkward kitchen appliances, complete with actions. *** This troper and friends started of with the Awkward Turtle, but somehow, we ended up with the Awkward Clam. *** This troper's friends have somehow ended up with the Awkward Salmon, though the goal is to make the other person feel awkward by slapping your hand between someone else's legs as they walk up the stairs in front of you. There is a standing pinky swear ritual to protect yourself from this, and woe be upon you if you forget. ** And the student teacher in [[ThisTroper this troper]]'s chem class claimed that his cousin coined the Awkward Turtle meme after being caught swimming with protected sea turtles in Hawaii. As said teacher was also inordinately fond of ChuckNorris Facts and often used class time to discuss the week's episode of ''Series/{{Heroes}}', we didn't buy it. ** This troper managed to get her Latin teacher terribly convinced that we were all doing a gang sign or something during the class discussion on Ganymede. (There's also mating turtle-- two separate one-handed turtles on top of each other flailing ineffectively-- and naked turtle, where the top hand scoots off with a "zoom!" sound effect.) There's also, for usage between friends, the Sexy Riff Raff elbow bump, with "Sexy [[RockyHorrorPictureShow Riff Raff!]]" recited in the same cadence used for Awkward Turtle, and elbowsex.

** Funnily enough, the turtle is actually Auslan for turtle. This Troper does not know Amslan. *** This Troper has been informed by an ASL speaker that it is "sea turtle" there. ** This troper and her friends have, in addition to Awkward Turtle... Sexual Tension Jellyfish, Judgmental Coyote, Sexually Repressed Homoerotic Gazelle, Masturbation Butterfly, Shameful Ostrich, Venereal Disease Raccoon, Hypocritical Hippopotamus, Gullible Flamingo, and Retribution Bunny. *** That is the best laugh this troper has had in a long time! ** This troper's crowd has awkward turtle, awkward palm tree, ashamed moose, awkward cow, awkward balloon, awkward baby... ** This troper's Nakama has the awkward balloon. ** This troper is the direct cause of the popularity of 'Awkward turtle had babies' in her school. (Start off with awkward turtle, then separate your hands into fists, wiggling thumb and pinky into mini, one-handed awkward turtles.) She's also the source of things such as awkward pirate and awkward cockatoo. ** This troper spawned the short lived "Jeremiah, the Anti-christ Unicorn" in his Junior Year Theatre class ** This troper's Japan tour group had the awkward turtle, the inappropriate fox, random catapiller, bad joke butterfly and good call seagull. We just made them up as we went along. * Whenever a scientific discovery that this troper and her father think is awesome happens, they add it to the end of every phone conversation for the next few days. * At my school: "It was your own choice!" ** And at mine: "[[UnusualEuphemism Bob Saggett!]]" *** Mary is that you? *** Hey, that was at my high school too! Was it AMCHS? ** At mine it was "[[http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=7YTXFmoAZu4 CLAAY!]]" ** My year had "GRRREEEEEEGGGGGG!" ** Oberlin has [[http://oberwiki.net/%22Jake_Brody_huffs_mad_dong.%22 "Jake Brody huffs mad dong"]] ** Mine had "There is no ________ in Sobibor!" ** My geography class has "Where's Djibouti?" *** Mine had 'Prohibited to pluck the teacher', as in plucking feathers from (it's better in Spanish: 'Prohibido Pelar [the teacher's last name]') *** This Troper's Chinese class got hooked on the phrase "Ni jiao shenme mingzi" which means "what is your name?" Because it was the first stereotypically Chinese-sounding phrase we learned. Later, we incorporated it into dramas, making it sound like we were saying something dramatic, when in fact, we were asking "Hey, what's your name?" i.e. "I'll defeat you! You'll see!" "NI JIAO SHENME MINGZI!" *** This troper's middle school humanities class was full of em, from the simulations we'd do. From the civil war unit we had any phrase that roughly meant "Union Can't March". From the Continental Congress, we get "The Foot of God comes down to call and end to the meeting! (spawned when the teacher would "play god" and have the "hand of god" call and end to the meeting - one day we totally ignored it until he

started using the "foot of god" and eventually the "head of god".) and "re-BUTTAL!" (whenever anyone used the gavel, someone would shout that phrase). For the world war two unit, we had "Stop [[IncrediblyLamePun Stalin!]]" and for the Rome unit we had "One denarius!" (whenever anyone asked for ANYTHING). For absolutely every unit, we had the teacher's running gag of "Silence or pay!" Truely, her school was overflowing with memes. They lasted until everyone graduated and went to different schools. ** At this troper's school: *** The water at the Fall Festival was spiked. Or maybe Fiji Water is just pure alcohol. (And then, in our own little circle, is possessed by Terrance the dead Swedish Fish.) *** "Jellyfish!" **** "Bigger jellyfish!" *** (accompanied by hand motions) "Loser, loser, double loser, whatever, as if, get the picture, duh." *** ___ kissed a rat named Josh. And proposed to it. *** "You're a PHOEBE!" *** ____ is from Mozambique, _____ is his brother who killed his parents, and this troper grew up with the two of them and lived in Ghana. ** In this troper's school, the Swedish teacher got annoyed at people not remembering "at home" and started to bang the table chanting "Hemma! Kotona! Hemma! Kotona!". No one ever forgot what hemma means. * After this troper's theatre dept. did the Pink Thunderbird one-acts, there was a wide-spread explosion of people saying 'I don't got the brain damage!' * GirlWithoutHat has caused some in the graffiti of her school: 'The world is not round, prepare yourself' (a spur-of-the-moment thing that ended up on every wall); 'we are always watching (except when you're in the bathroom, because that is gross)'; and, because xkcd and physics, on several desks: 'SCIENCE. IT WORKS, BITCHES.' * This Troper's high school English teacher would often sit with students during his lunch break. One day, he and a guy from the chess club decided to play a game of chess. On lookers took to naming pieces after books we read (White Queen was LadyMacBeth, Black King was {{Othello}} ect. The winner came up with the name for the piece that made a fatal move for it's player: [[{{Equus}} Jill]]. ** In history, Wavy Gravy was a FREAK... SHOW! In college English, LawAndOrder is never wrong. In Chem, StevenHawkings is our favorite vegetable. * From this troper's LJ RP groups ** TRANSMISSION FAILURE ** IGNG (A horribly typoed "Night") ** [[{{Cloverfield}} Clover]]: HEY GUYS! ** /Nostaliga look ** SOUNDS GRETA! * This Troper and a couple of friends created a meme at their school, which started off with one person having the first letter of their name replaced with D, and culminated in Dobble, a form of speech where EVERYTHING begins with D. Dike Do. * During this troper's band trip one year, one of her roommates was

incredibly frustrated at a malfunctioning hotel TV set, and yelled "Gawd! ...HO-BAG!" When we looked at her funny, she attempted to explain herself with: "...bag of ho." The term "HO-BAG! ...Bag of ho," spread through the band like the plague, which infected the other, non-band students as well. * Track Down [[{{Raekuul}} this troper's]] graduating class. Yell [[PiratesOfTheCaribbean PIRATES]]. Cue the Epic Band Movement. ** ...no, we only officially played that in '06. Nobody has the music any more. *** Another DHS '08 specific one: "She made me give my presentation at [=McDonalds=]!" * Our school has several ** There's a girl at the school named Tina, and to this day at lunch, someone will shout "TINA, YOU FAT LARD! COME GET SOME DINNER!" ** In Current Events class, we were asked to find an international article. A girl raises her hand after five minutes, and spouts the now classic line: "Is Mexico international?" * At This Tropher's youth group, we play a card game called Mafia. This spawned several great memes. ** "YOU'RE DEAD. Dead people can't talk. Because YOU'RE DEAD." ** (in showtunes style) "Mafiaaaaaaa! Just can't wait to kill that mafiaaaaaaa!" ** "Oh god. The DEAD PEOPLE ARE SINGING." ** "Jesus wouldn't have cheated in Mafia!" And the follow-up: "But Judas would, bitches!" * In [[{{Zilo}} This Troper's]] home, we've created a meme that's turned into a greeting. My mother went into my older sister's room to say hi, but see wasn't there. Cue older sis coming into the room. Not expecting Mom to be there, Big Sis was startled so badly she threw up her hands and exclaimed "WAH!" So now we all greet each other by throwing up our hands and going "WAH!" * From a particular {{Watchmen}} FanFic: "He gotta purple like that." ** Speaking of Watchmen, this troper offers up "Adrian, you tried to dumb it down and all you did was STUPID IT UP." *** ''"Daaaaaaaaaaddyyyyyyy...."'' * Among this Troper's personal circle: SEXY SAMMICH. Did it have mayonnaise? ( [[{{Squick}} You don't want to know how that started.]] ) ** Also, seven. * My class, last year, had [[{{MeanGirls}} "Do you like butter on your muffin?"]] My current Nakama has MANY. ** Mentioning the word Dugtrio. See the image on HardGay. ** "ENRIQUE IGLESIAS CAN FLYYYYY." ** The incredible awesomeness of the [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Axolotl Axolotl.]] ** The neverending war of [[{{DieForOurShip}} Antonio/Selia or Antonio/Karin.]] * NO ONE! GOES THROUGH! [[{{LargeHam}} THE BAND!]] ** To clarify, there's often one or two jackasses who try to walk through a marching formation as we're exiting/entering the competition field. Bandies are to discourage them, first verbally, [[{{ImprovisedWeapon}} then instrumentally]]. For some reason no one

ever tries to break through the trombones or the drummers. *** That is because at a genetic level Trombone players are angrier and more pron to explosive shows of violence than any other instrument * Walk into a room with this troper's friends, yell '''"WAFFLE FRIES?!"''' at the top of your lungs, and watch a [[HilarityEnsues pillow fight immediately erupt.]] * If you ever want to find any members of the RPI Players in your vicinity, shout "Which way is up?" and wait for the customary immediate reply, "UP!" Accompanied by an arm raised directly overhead, with index finger extended in said direction. Works on all members all the way back to class of 1979. * The engineering department at this troper's college has elevated Nicolas Carnot to the status of science's most [[{{MagnificentBastard}} magnificent bastard]], responsible for every single failed experiment or construction attempted on campus (in reference to the Carnot Engine, a theoretical engine with maximum efficiency that thwarts all attempts to make it actually work). Dramatic howls of "[[{{SayMyName}} CARNOOOOOT!]]" are common. * The entire mathematical community may tell you otherwise, but anyone who was in [[DaPatman this troper's]] Further Maths class in sixth form knows you ''can'' divide by a vector. * In this troper's Spanish class, whenever the teacher asks something along the lines of "So what all have you guys learned in this class?" the entire class will immediately say, "Agua agua agua agua agua agua!" * This troper held a party for his World of Warcraft guild. We played Pictionary. The word was "restaurant." The drawer drew a picture of a hamburger in a building, inspiring every single possible combo of "Burger _____"...except restaurant. Just before time ran out, someone on their time guessed "Burger dome!" Guess what the guild's battle cry is? * Let's just say among my friends, personal memes include pasting the words Nikita Krushchev into random sentences (so I accidentally hit ctrl+ v, so wNikita Kruschevhat), the phrase "There's definitely an A", "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!", "Solid.", "Disco car", and others. * Georges Clemenceau. Just in general. Particularly when teamed up with Woodrow "Woody" Wilson, and occasionally accompanied by Dimitri Mendeleev. * QUIT DICKIN OFF! (Is there a trope for screwing up a euphemism?) Coined by a particularly hard headed Music Instructor. ** STAN YOU ARE ARE THE WORST X EVER/I HAVE EVER KNOWN/ JUST STOP TRYING! ** "Oh yeah? Nice Pants!" Combined with a chick jab to the throat ** No one can every take Craft (Alchemy) after [[NoodleIncident last game]] ** How to debate: Argument Starts, Shelton Wins. ** Person Name Here:(Blank)Mancer ** With enough Start-up funds you can! * This troper's dad started one: "Ask him if anyone at school wears a [[CoolHat tri-corner hat]], I hear they're making a comeback this year." Which has become "Tri-corner hat.""They're totally making a

comeback this year." * God forbid if anyone at my school says that he doesn't remember. "YOU DON'T REMEMBER! YOU DON'T REMEMBER! WHY DON'T YOU REMEMBER MY NAME" * This troper is a member of a country music forum where Amy Dalley is a recurring gag whenever someone mentions underdog artists. (For those not in the know, she released ''seven'' singles and still didn't have an album out.) * Back in this troper's middle school days, ours was spawned from an unfortunate attack of the homonyms: "Wait, utter? As in a titter?" * In [[PrincessGwenevere this troper]]'s school, MichaelJackson has become something of a MemeticBadass of Music. (Pre-white Jackson, in case you were wondering.) Particularly after his death. During the 'Flash back' day of Spirit Week, there was a dance off between two Jacksons at lunch. And the Halloween before his death, the school put on a very impressive Thriller tribute. (This troper is sad she missed it.) * Cal is a gangster, you're a farmer, f*** that s*** ,how bad,that's what she said in this troper's former secondary school. * This troper's Theater class has quite a few ridiculous ones, such as: ** "You need to go sniff a big one!" is often shouted by the teacher herself whenever she gets mad. ** Shakespeare's bisexuality is the teacher's BerserkButton, and we love to press that button, so we bring it up a lot. ** During a play of Little Red Riding Hood, the Wolf was supposed to ask this troper (Little Red) where she was going, and after she answers, he was supposed to ask her name. But he mixed it up, and this troper wasn't prepared for him to ask what my name was when he was supposed to ask where I was going. Now the class has the ever quotable, "What is your name?" "To Granny's, with goodies!" ** Bread sticks and meatballs. ** "TEELA TAKWEELA'S INTERNET SEX!" ** "Jerry, I'm tired of being married to you! * mimes shooting him* " * [[LeighSabio This Troper]] has recently started following ''TheShipsCloset'', which logically breaks down and analyzes the HoYay between Kirk and Spock. One of the first things mentioned was how in one episode, Kirk mentioned that "let me help" was a better expression of love than "I love you", and in the next, Spock said "let me help" to Kirk. My reaction, which I now repeat as often as I can: "Ah, ''StarTrek''. Where help means fuck." To "Help in the ''StarTrek'' sense" now means the same thing to me as to "know in the biblical sense." * This troper's group of friends uses a number of weird pop-culture references as part of our own, perfectly logical lexicon. Some shining examples: ** Serious - used to refer to, well, porn. Started when we first ran into WetSummerDays - as it was on a PG video site, our first response was "They can't be serious". They were. They were very serious indeed. ** Neato - An ElGoonishShive reference - Lesbians are neato! ** Rock Lobster - Used for ThisIsntWhatItLooksLike situations. Taken from the B52s, obviously. As in, "it was a rock lobster"

* This troper posts to a sports board where one team's incompetent management is referred to as the Fucked Front Office, or FFO... which turned into an AscendedMeme when the assistant GM signed up for the board as [=ReallyFFO=]. * The people this troper knows seem to attract these on a daily basis. Case in point: ** From a high-school production of The Visitor From Forest Hills: "And THIS is a diamond bathroom door!" *** Actually, ''any'' line from The Visitor From Forest Hills. Also, British!Borden. **** "There's a green room there? We should rent a potted plant and make Rachel stand behind it!" ** "How many times do you [[CrossesTheLineTwice kill or torture Evan]] in this picture?" "How many times do we kill or torture [[ButtMonkey Evan]] in real life?" "Touch." ** "[[HoYay NOT GAY AT ALLLL.]]" ** (why drama is better than band) "Well, for one thing, there's a lot less rape!" ** "It's drama, everyone's at least [[CampGay some]][[AmbiguouslyGay what]] [[CampStraight gay]]." ** "[[MayDecemberRomance It's]] legal in [[CanadaEh Canada]]!" ** "Blaise Pascal is FAAAABULOUS!" ** "Make [troper's name] read!", after a [[CrowningMomentOfFunny particularly interesting day]] in English I, in which I got to read Mercutio's part in RomeoAndJuliet. And I read it with [[LargeHam great zeal]]. ** "What should I put down to describe [[TheOutsiders Two-Bit]]?" "AWESOME." (Actually, Two-Bit in general has become something of a MemeticBadass among this troper's class.) *** After watching TheFilmOfTheBook, he's gone from a MemeticBadass to a MemeticMolester in this troper's circle of friends--except for [[PerverseSexualLust in my opinion]]. Also, [[MemeticSexGod everyone]] is [[EvenTheGuysWantHim gay for]] [[{{Bishonen}} Sodapop]]. ** "Albert Adams." Used anytime someone gets an obvious question wrong at academic team practice. ** PORN COPS. ** I'M NOT KOREAN! ** ALL HAIL THE ROYAL ORDER OF THE BOP-IT. ** The academic team coach is Wolverine. This is a cold hard fact. ** Any mention of haters making you popular will inevitably be met with, "No they don't, honey." * This troper's sister and her friends that participated in a college production of {{Carousel}} have "I AIN'T GOING TO NO CLAMBAKE!" * This troper's friends and family has a alot ** [[TengenToppaGurrenLagann LETS SEE YA GRIT THOSE TEETH]] (used when one of us are feeling depressed) ** The Cake might be the truth ** person 1: who wants ICE CREAM Everyone else:.... person 1: it has sulfur Everyone else:ME. ME ME ** [[FluffyTheTerrible But]] [[KillerRabbit fleece]]

[[SealedEvilInATeddybear will kill us]] (came from a level 100 flaaffy (not ampharos. Flaaffy)in my friends soul silver game. ** "not if i kill me first" (said when someone threatens someone elses life or when the above is said) ** Youre not WELCOME Here ** [[FamilyGuy WACKY WAVING INFLATABLE ARMED TUBE MAN]] ** BROFIST ** CRITICAL HIT (1 Damage) ** I told you to get lost. Now on DVD and bluray ** I cant im neutered... ** (x)... (x) everywhere ** Im a hotdog SQUEEEE ** and most recently ... 2 great tastes that taste great together * [[{{Ikaru}} This Troper's]] Theater class has developed enough memes to make it possible for members of the class to be in other classes, have the teacher mention something, and the class members to look at eachother and burst out laughing. Examples include the word "Organically" (notably in reference to how one should act, but any usage works) and anytime ANYONE says the words "This is a ____." will be followed with "A what?". Furthermore, his Spanish class decided that although the word isn't supposed to mean the cool kind of sick, anything cool is officially ''ENFERMO!'' * This troper has been with most of the same group of seven other kids in Gifted for six or seven years, and has over time created many. She is a total geek, and for some reason her comments on things that nobody else understands tend to turn into class phenomenon. The ones that have spread to the rest of the school include, "What the hellmouth?!" as...well that one's pretty obvious; "I stand with the slayer," when somebody asks you about Twilight, although most people at this troper's school have never even seen Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and yelling "CASTIEL!" when frusturated, although only three other people know that this troper only yelled it because she couldn't get one of his lines from Supernatural out of her head. The strangest, however, is justifying anything you do or say that other people don't understand by saying, "BECAUSE I WATCH FREAKIN' PRIMEVAL, OKAY?!" Sad part is, this troper only said that one once before it caught on. This troper goes to a strange school, doesn't she? * [[BrightBlueInk This troper]] went to a con with a group of friends. While hanging out in our hotel room, one of my friends started to pimp Dane Cook to the rest of the group, and played a comedy routine that included the line "fuck shoes!" Later, once we started going around [[CosplayOtakuGirl in costume]], we discovered that ''all'' of us had very, very uncomfortable shoes with our costumes. "Fuck shoes!" became our motto for the rest of the convention and still comes up in conversation occasionally. * [[HeroesWantRedHeads Red-haired]] [[{{Meganekko}} meganekun]] {{Bishonen}} in [[DressedToKill suits]] are '''ALWAYS''' related. Also, [[NiceHat tophats]] are awesome, and [[FrillsOfJustice NEEDS MORE FRILLS]] (to the point that ''both'' tophats and frills even [[CostumePorn influenced]] most of my recent character designs). * This Troper and his friends have the phrase "Hide your Venosaur!", for whenever someone does something incredibly stupid, in reference to

a friend of this troper stealing a Venosaur pokemon card from a disabled kid. * This Troper's high school has chimping, for freaking out over inconsequential stuff, and Rufio Day, is when people go outside and yell 'Rufio' at the roof. Monte! must be chanted during chapel at least a couple times a semester, white sneakers impart super powers, Bowie Days are free days, [[UnusualEuphemism muffins]] are brought up way too often, and you know when people say AWizardDidIt? They're lying. Baker did it. * One has started within my family, but then it burst into flames. Well, my aunt started one by saying "...and then it burst into flames" after an obvious lie, but then she burst into flames. Made all the more hilarious when my sister fell asleep on a road trip, and we passed a car that actually DID burst into flames. ** Also "OH MY GOD IT'S A RHINOCERPOTOMAS" and Spidercat. * My gosh, there are two many to count... It all depends on who from ThisTroper's school. Hmm let's start with: ** These three and almost anything from my friend: *** Army of 87 badgers! *** I ''hate'' communism! *** John Marshall/Andrew Carnegie is so awesome! ** From my Chem/APES (AP Environmental) teacher (You'd know him instantly if you've had him): *** Merry Quizmas! *** PV=nRT *** (If your are in AP Environmental) Tardy Pass! Where's your tardy pass?! Go and get one; and take you bags with you! *** I'm catholic in the sense of the crusades and the inquisition. **** P.S. One of my most favorite teachers ever. * [[IntoxicationEnsues "I have pesto on my bread!"]] became a meme that caused most of [[AuntZelda this troper's]] math class to descend into fits of laughter, much to the bewilderment of new students. ** Also the mysterious and murkey past of her old math teacher. Who reportedly goes on adventures through time and space with a [[TalkingAnimal talking dog.]] And has at least one friend in TheMafia. And then there's the business of his draconian sister ... * Does anyone remember BigWolfOnCampus ? Nah, this troper doesn't fault you for it, it's old. But, because of that show, this troper's family tends to say "Nice pants!" when someone is wearing nice clothing. Usually pants. Can alternatively refer to dorky clothing, but that is not used nearly as much. * Due to a certain... incident during a pickup rehearsal, [[{{Ryumaru}} This Troper's]] Fall Play club now has a minor meme: "You stole my parrot, YOU BITCH!" Said quote originally occured after a fake parrot was stolen off of an actress' costume hat, and was discovered ''after'' the scene she wore it. For years afterwards, we were all reminded of the quote when we saw said parrot and would use the quote after something else was stolen in fun (like snacks or script pages). Last year, however, [[CrowningMomentOfFunny the parrot disappeared.]] Nobody has seen it since. * Among [[MacktheRandom my]] Nakama, we have "BUT IT'S A BREAKFAST CEREAL * mimes shooting self* ", "Please go die in a hole please",

"Yeah, of course, lemme just use my Jesus powers", "God, you're such a jerkfacewad", "LOL seven", "FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR SHOES", "That wasn't funny at all. I'm a terrible person. I'm going to hell", "[name] is camper than a row of pink tents", "Travis did it!", and many more! ** And between my friend Jessie and I: -->Hey, Jess... -->Yeah? -->...Five! --> Hahaha! LAAAAAAME! * Search up "The Mary Show: American Idol Spoof" on YouTube. Amongst This Troper's circle of friends, it became somewhat of a meme for quite some time. Do you guys know of those 'fuzzy worm' toys with the big eyes that flop around a lot and come in neon colors? We bought a whole bunch of those any chance we got and call them all 'Sars Darts' :D ** "HEY, IT'S MAA-AARY~" ** POLITICS! ** "YOU! YOU! It's YOU! All the time it's YOU!" ** Five! ... Five! ** No! STOP! Go away! I mean it this time! ... I showed him! -Sars Dart pops up out of nowhere- AAAAAAAH-* There was a guy at [[TheNerdyNinja This Troper]]'s school who told obviously embellished stories, usually involving his brother. Soon, "my ''Brother''" (emphasis always on the word "brother") was on the same level as Chuck Norris. Most famous was "My ''Brother'' can do a burnout and a pop-a-wheelie [sic] at the same time." ** Also, the guy in the white car who slowly drove back and forth at soccer games, watching from the road, became known as "Chester the Molester." * This troper's family has a few: ** "What's for dinner?" "Bear guts and cabbage!" ** "Brain death." *** "Brain fart." *** "Brain... no worky..." ** And apparently, if you can't use actual words (like a dog or a baby), you are prone to calling all females 'bitch' and talking like a mobster... ** "Pudding! Puh! Ding!" ** "DAAAALE!!!" ** "Schwwebies."; "Schweebs." ** "Where are you going?" "Crazy! Wanna come?" ** "Rob doesn't like cheesecake." ** "Brandon is SO emo..." ** "The world would be a better place if more people wore trench coats and fedoras." * This Troper's friend was once at a rock concert, where he was warned that girls might be showing their breasts. He replied that it would be weird if he saw the breasts of one of his classmates, but if it was some girl that he didn't know, then "that would be a ''treat''." "Treat" spread through our friend group faster than swine flu.

* In my Class in Medicine School we have "hey, if we better watch PORN?" After supposedly one classmate said it in another classmate's house. It usually comes when everyone is quiet and bored after classes. * This troper was asked what superpower he wished he could have. He attempted a MindScrew and said: "The ability to break the fourth wall!" It is now a meme among us. [[hottip:* :[[MindScrew Or is it]] a RunningGag?]] ** Also by us: "Fanboygasm!" * When this mexican troper friends went to Marisol house we asked her brother where was she. Then, he screamed: "MAREEEEEEEE!!!!". Since that day, everytime someone ask where Marisol is, there's someone screaming "MAREEEEEE!!!" * This troper took American Civil War as an easy credit, and while learning about the various uniforms the soldiers wore, there was a specialized group of fighters on the Union side who wore red uniforms (I can't remember now). Of course, my friends and I immediately thought of the Canadian Mounties and insist that it was the Canadians who won the Civil War for the Union. This escalated into Canadians being the cause of every plot hole and Deus ex machina ending ever. And they're ninjas and verrrrrry sneaky. * This troper knows some... odd people. For example, in French class, the immediate answer to "do you guys have any questions?" is "Ms. Johnson, how are you kids?" ** Same troper, but in her youth group people there's one very strict adult advisor. Whenever someone new asks about her, the immediate response is "Jill's hella chill." She is definitely not hella chill. * [[{{Arcadiarika}} I]] have a couple. Whenever I'm at school, from junior high to high school, chances are that someone will tell me this phrase: "You're going to be late!" It's in relation to how I need to be so punctual all the time. Also, unrelated to school, but whenever you see [[http://arcadiarika.deviantart.com/art/Miryuko-the-Massive149024887 Miryuko the (800-pound) Massive,]] people [[strike:always]] mostly say, "holy shit". ** Also, whenever I have a certain High School teacher, chances are that she will mention the late Patrick Swayze and Max Weber as her favorites. * After [[{{Krieg}} this troper]] started taking German, 56 became short hand for IfYouKnowWhatIMean. (Fifty-six in German is "Funfundsechzy" which, does, in fact, sound remarkably like "fun fun sexy".) * This troper's circle of friends often has someone loudly calling out "BAAAAAAAWWWWW" whenever something gets screwed up, occasionally followed with a clucking chicken sound (BUCK BUCK BUCKAW). * This troper's various {{Nakama}} have so many it's almost impossible to put them all down, but ** Chris Brown is Batman! Rihanna found out, so he had to beat her IN A CAR, while driving 70 MPH, in a RESIDENTIAL DISTRICT, with his KNEE. ** Miranda loves steak~<3 ** AH HATE BABEHS, THEY'RE ''FAT!!'' ** Stick with Jack, you're gonna make it back. ** Eat it, Roast it, THEN kill it.

** Don't hurt my feelings, Bertha. ** OH NO!! BOTTOM THINKS HE ''IS'' THE LION!! *** HE ATE QUINCE!! *** Bottom Hungry, BOTTOM EAT!! *** He's the rat king! ** Get In My ''CAR''. I Have ''CANDY''. ** This Troper is a terror to Leprechaun kind. ** [[MoreDakka USE THE RPGS!!!]] ** Could've Had Carpets THIS THICK!!! ** HE GOT TEH STABBERZ!!1!11ONE!!1 ** I am SO ''JELLY!'' * This Troper has a few that have been picked up on by friends and schoolmates from band... ** The whoope cushion makes popcorn, don't you see? ** Man, this uniform make me feel like a [[ThoseWackyNazis Nazi]]... *** ''except for the flammable plume'' ** ALL FRESHMEN TO THE FRONT! SENIORS GET THE BACK OF THE BUS! *** NO NOT BARRY! ** Do Not Touchy the (insert instrument here); or else Joe will come out to get you. * Somehow, in this troper's precalculus class, a mnemonic device for verifying trig functions devolved into "Hellooooo Grandma!" Also, "Mathemagic Land." It's better than Disneyworld. Her French class has the Curly People (who are continually at war with the Frizzy People), bert voobs (or [[BilingualBonus vert boobs]]), and "get in my van", among countless others. Her English class has ExitPursuedByABear. She's convinced she must be some kind of meme magnet. * In this troper's forensic science class in high school, we would watch episodes of this competition show called Murder that used to be on Spike, where two teams of cop show fans attempted to solve reenactments of real-life murders. The first time we watched it, one of the amateur detectives apparently thought it was an episode of CSI and started coming up with increasingly bizarre theories that not only weren't supported by any evidence, but which the guy was COMPLETELY convinced of. One of his theories, that the murder had been over a drug deal gone bad, included a bizarrely specific reference to a "kilo of cocaine" being hidden under the suspect's bed. After watching that episode, the entire class would frequently ask where the kilo of cocaine was when doing lab work. * In this Troper's school our Spanish class uses Rosetta Stone as a learning school. Most every time we use it there is always a question that goes "Que es esto" and the response is "Es un gato" It has become so popular that everyone at the school is saying it * A friend and [[FlyingSagittarius I]] were doing a lab experiment, where we reacted copper metal with nitric acid under a fume hood. We saw a brown gas float off; our teacher said it was poisonous, that's why we needed the fume hood. We could not figure out what that brown gas was. I speculated, out loud, "The only gas that could probably form from this reaction would be Hydrogen..." My lab partner said, "Well, it's probably Hydrogen, then!" I quickly replied with "Hydrogen is not brown!" and he retorts, "You don't know that!". Now he keeps making allusions and jokes to "A rare version of Hydrogen, which is

brown". (We later found out that the gas was actually Nitrogen Dioxide, NO2. That didn't stop him from trying to convince me that it actually was "brown hydrogen".) * The mythic Awesome Coffee Turtle. (In explanation: this phrase is allegedly hilarious-sounding when uttered by this [[AmericanAccents upstate-NY accented]] troper. Said troper doesn't get it.) * This troper's highschool had several: ** Any mention of our extremely English woodworking teacher, Mr. Homer, will be done in a hilariously exaggerated accent (Mistar HohMar), followed by stating his love of "Floi Fishin'" ** For a while, Mr. Ward, our legal studies teacher (then Deputy principal) was often greeted by cries of "Wwaaarrrrdddyyy, Wwaaarrrrdddyyy..." ** One of the maths teachers was constantly winning awards for "Biggest Tryhard." (lucky he had a good sence of humour) ** This troper's bus trips would so often include a bellow of "Si' down!" from one of the senior students, to the point where other people began saying it with that exact inflection. ** There was also the Chuck Norris Jokes in eighth grade. Dear god, the jokes... * My junior high group had 3 ** "''skeeeeeeeeef!''" or simply "skeef," the second one was used as a replacement swear word (I started it, and no-one ever found out what it meant other than my friends) ** "They were fucking like rabbits! '''''For four hours!'''''" (also started by me, referring to my parents, who kept me awake even later than usual with their loud sex. And yes, they ''did'' fuck for four hours straight) ** "Oh ''geez'', what is this madness, what is this madness you speak of" said in an annoyed manner. * Among my sisters and I: ** "Hey, Rachel, I found the trope of the week!" ** We have quite the Awkward turtle series: *** One involves a day in a pool when we were awkward turt'ling each other, and suddenly: "My turtle's a COMMUNIST TURTLE!" Cue a running joke in which we enact World War Two with Awkward Turtles. I even did it for a social studies project once. *** Another time, we were all awkward turtleing each other, and suddenly we all have our Awkward Turtles swim towards each other. They rise into the air and we all chant: 'awkwaaard POWER!!!!' following by a 'fwoosh' noise. The moments afterwards are always extremely awkward. * Because my English/math/science/social studies class has consisted of the same twelve or so people for the past six years, we have a LOT. For instance, singing the word "pickles". Also, every time we have a substitute teacher or class sitter, someone will ask if they're a Republican or not within five minutes. ** Also, the phrase "have fun" has become my personal catch phrase that I use in place of saying goodbye. Problem is, I don't usually think about if having fun is really likely. For instance, when one of my friends says that they have a huge test in their least favorite subject that they didn't study for. "Have fun". A few of my friends have started saying it too.

* For this troper and her brother, there are two. ** "POR QUE?!?!?!" shouted as dramatically as possible. The correct response is an echo of "FOR WHAT?!?!" ** Also as dramatically as possible, and with arm movements, "CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE!" * Uh... I'm going to do my best to provide context for the following incomprehensible in-jokes. ** Two years in history class gave us "God Save The Tsar!" and "Wasn't Einstein the first guy to walk on the sun?" ** Also, would you like to slavery. ** A nasty way because he killed them not all of of them two of them was he allowed to do that nobody knows ** Discussion of [[AllJustADream unsatisfying endings]] gave us UND HE WOEK UP AND IT WAS ALL A DREMA ** Discussion of [[TheScrappy irritating individuals]] gave us "Hi guys The Game!" ** Disturbing videos in Religious Studies/Ethics/Misc gave us the distressingly cheerful "This is Chief! ... the local pedophile." ** The mannerisms of a friend gaDAVIS! only a RRRREAL MAN would be able to DONGS guitar solo * Among my Nakama, if anyone is stalking, harassing, or generally pissing you off, call Julia and me. [[BadAss We will kick their asses.]] ** And Between me and another one of my friends, It started off as 'I guess Bonnie's not coming' and has now escalated into 'the bonnie is a lie. There is no Bonnie. There never has been a Bonnie. [[LogicBomb How are we talking about this Bonnie person anyway?]]' And you Cannot have my drapes! * This Troper and his friends, when frustrated, will simply yell "FROWN". And my friend's breasts have "nice architecture." * Whenever something goes wrong at [[AMereServantOfGod this troper's]] school, we blame it on a poor kid named Ricky. Sometimes it's his fault, sometimes it isn't. (We don't even say it's his fault and he doesn't even need to be nearby; we just say his name when something goes wrong...in an angry tone of voice.) There's even a {{Facebook}} group called 'Blame it on Ricky!' It's rather popular among the schools in our area. * Obviously, my nakama has several. My friend was in a production of DamnYankees, and he sung the lead in the number "The Game." The night after, he put that he "thought about the game" in his facebook status, with predictible results. Now whenever someone mentions the game, i start singing the song. "Padawan is like television on Honeymoon! Unnecessary!" It grew out our star wars campaign. And one of the more random ones is "The world is my toilet! And you are my catfood!" * A "Fire Hazard" is a guy who is flamingly gay but still in the closet. "Purpling" has nothing to do with homosexuals, it actually refers to having sex via the metaphor of a ziplock bag. (Boys are blue and girls are red, and when you put them together...) * Anyone who spent any time on a military base in Korea between roughly 2007-2009 will probably recognize a floating head of Genghis Khan droning, in a bizarrely seductive Barry White voice, "Mongolian Barbeque...Mongolian BARBEQUE...Mongolian ''barbeque''"

* In Russia many, many lines from soviet animated shorts and films are quoted by almost everyone. "Gentlemen of Fortune", {{"White Sun of The Desert"}}, {{"Winnie-The-Pooh"}}... take your pick. * This Troper has had so many, including referring to Miles Edgeworth as "milz", a robotic Mudkip who has an obsession with a very particular Bonus Stage character, saying "Facebooj" instead of "Facebook" and "giddamn" instead of "goddamn" (both the results of typos), saying you love people "phonetically" instead of "platonically", and so many more... * This Troper's {{Nakama}} have several. ** "DAMN YOU ANDREW JACKSON!" comes from my APUSH class, along with the (well-accepted) theory that Henry Clay was a vampire (He was around for AGES). He was also John C. Calhoun and Howard Zinn, among others. Several girls in our class have pledged to name children after him. ** "PANTIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" ** "I'm going to kill you!" "AHHH! So turned on!" ** "Glomp attack! PERVERTED STYLE!!!!!" ** "Oh, no, banana jokes are inappropriate because I have one- no wait, he has one- I borrow it!" * This troper's class has a couple: "What's the square root of two?" and now, resulting from a TERRIBLY RUDE question one student asked an ACTUAL HOLOCAUST SURVIVOR who came to the school "If you could go back...". My group of friends has several more, including... ** "Sir, is there extra credit?" ** "Then I ate my dinner on a big plate of salad." ** "HEY...good luck" ** "Where can you find the biggest v****** ?" "Off the coast of Spain!" * In my school, there are more meme makers than probrably the entire internet has. we have made: "Only on Tuesdays!" For use when someone says something along the lines of "Are you always like this?", we have "It's probrably ass herpes" from when a student used that excuse to get out of class, "Two whales walk into a bar, one whale says to the other; WHEOEOEOOHOWEHOWHEOWHE" that continues for a few minutes followed by phrases such as "Then the whales mother comes in and says," or "then the whale gets a text that says" the punchline is always "and then the bartender says * insert noun of large ham here* ", another one is "'Suck it!' 'YES PLEASE!'", and finally, "OUR TEACHER IS NOT BATMAN!" * This troper was in group therapy, and sometimes for fun we would play pictionary in the afternoons (it was an all day deal). This troper and her best friend started the trend of guessing 'firetruck', no matter what. It has probably continued long after she graduated from the program. * This Troper and her family were watching her dad play [[MySims My Sims Racing]] for the first time. When Makoto told him [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial she was a human and ''DEFINETLY'' not a robot]], we all laughed, and she quickly became this troper's favorite character. From then on, all blatant lies meant for humor were accompanied with "not a robot at all, oh no no no". * Several gems that stemmed from a [[TooDumbToLive remarkably]]

[[ChaoticStupid stupid]] [[TheDitz girl]] in this troper's class have become memes ** Are dolphins related to wolves? ** Is Alaska in California? ** What are the side affects of your heart stopping? *** '' Death.'' *** * Nervously* Heh heh, she's kidding, right? * Let's see: ** Who's John?! ** Hey, when you go to Italy, chip me off a piece of the Eiffel Tower! ** I don't like Poker Face...(In increasingly ridiculous accents) ** BEEF! ** Leave me alooooooone! ** I've got fucking adrenaline...fucking...EVERYWHERE! * "Ma! Pa! Come quick! There's a spahhhhhhhhhhhhder in the basement!" or some similar line, often in sort of a redneck context. * "I was liek nooo!", a meme started after a moderator on SaberScorpion's Lair Forum got drunk and decided to post pretending to be drunk while in this state. Henceforth nobody on SSLF is ever "drunk", they are "liek nooo" and "Colonel Fruend" is always to blame. * This troper and her friends have come up with many. Including: ** "Purple Trousers" ** "I like tottles" (From the "Zombie kid likes turtles" Youtube video ** "MEEP!" (Because we love Beaker) ** "Charlie bit me. Ow, Charlie, that hurts." (Once again, a Youtube video) ** "* insert random accent for no reason here* " * With this troper's family and friends: ** "BAAAAAAAT!" Started after her sister woke up to see a moth in her room at night and assumed by the shadow that it was a bat. ** "FLY SPRAY!" This troper's father's immediate but sleepiness influenced reaction to the above. ** "You can't be racist in front of [sensitive friend]." Said any time race is mentioned in Sensitive Friend's presence. ** Reacting to accidents/problems with "Stop drop and roll!" Started by this troper's sister, who accidentally set her breakfast eggs on fire and reacted by stopping, dropping and rolling in panic despite not being on fire herself (mom was nearby and put the pan out, thankfully). ** "I need your body heat." ** "Helicopter! * punch* " Started randomly, became a meme then turned into a game with penalty punches for false sightings and everything. ** "I don't ''have'' any [object]s you insensitive penis." ** "[Very well off friend] has a pony so her input is invalid." ** "New Zealand's a country? I thought we were Australia's tiny, detached penis." ** "This Troper is sick and wrong and a horrible, horrible person." Usually said to unbelieving non-close-friend people who do not know [[CovertPervert this troper]] very well.

* QuuuuuALITY! (exaggerated build-up on the "kw" vital) is a meme in this troper's family. Blame that one on a very long car trip and a [[SeriousBusiness very intense]] game of Alphabet. ** Also, "jet entrails" and "turbulence is fun!" * This Troper has [[LargeHam THE LOUDEST VOICE]] nobody seems to hear. Also, ** In American History: *** Kelly's on drugs! *** ''Conflict'' * Taps fists together lightly* ** Among his friends: *** [[BlazBlue Ride the]] [[SuperSmashBros Water-car!]] *** [[BadAss Adam]] can do it *** WILSON!! * This troper and her sister have a couple. ** On watching ANY anime where the guys are within two feet of each other, one of us say "Y'know, cus they're gay." ** From the OHSHC bloopers: "Could it be...Vic...MIGNONA!?" ** [[NoIndoorVoice GIIIIIRLS? ARE YOU UP YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET?]] * bangs door* ** This is my (insert what we're looking for) detector. Goes "ding" when there's stuff. ** I SUPPORT (insert crack pairing here). IT'S TTLY CANON. * This troper (first person mode on) loves to make random doctor who references all the time, and these moments have turned into memes among my friends. But the biggest one was my reaction to seeing a statue while walking in a park at night: --> Me: [[CrowningMomentOfFunny AAH! WEEPING ANGEL!]] * Me and my friends have a few: ** "TAKE YOUR WHORE CARDS!" ** "Dude!" Generally is used after someone says something awkward or points out something weird in a game,sometimes also followed by "What're you trying to say?". ** Badly Drawn Weegee. ** "CARD GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES" ** "Pipiru piru piru pipiru pi!" ** "Game The." Followed by "NOOO! I JUST GAME THE LOST!" ** Uick Attack,and Trength. * "I'M GONNA FLIP A POOL/BITCH" Used when enraged. ** This troper's mother would also like to remind you that SHE'S GOT A FUCKING MAGNUM. *** What's MSN? ** * hands together in front of chin* OH HO HO~ * [[LeighSabio This troper]] took a personality test ranking her altruism and social dominance. Her altruism was low, and her social dominance was high. I commented that I had been scientifically proven to be a bitch, and this became a meme around the house for a couple of days. * This troper and his {{Nakama}} will have taken to naming the AI in various videogames. The AI driver in GranTurismo is Kevin (or The Stig), and the "guy behind the camera" is Dave, which prompts us all to shout "Dammit Dave!" when the camera acts up or we die due to a bad camera angle.

** Also "shwa!" is the sound a large sword makes. This came from a StarWars DungeonsAndDragons match in which someone managed to create a forty foot, dual bladed lightsaber. Another player then said, "My saber-copter goes suasuasuasua!" * This troper has created several memes among his classmates, with the best one "Would you like some hard-clawed prawn action?". Others include gratuitous batch file code, and a less infamous "Would you like some elephants in your example?" and "You son of a Helena!". Hard-clawed prawns is an IncrediblyLamePun, nothing more than that. Elephants came from a {{Cloudcuckoolander}} monologue where I discussed with myself whether elephants can autofellate, and how they mount. Helena came from Helena's monologue in AMidsummerNightsDream where she compares herself to a spaniel. And since she's female, more than one person noted that that was a StealthInsult by Shakespeare. * This troper's class has "CSS test today!" which has lasted despite our last CSS class being 2 years ago, in 8th grade. Attempts have been made to transform "CSS" to some other class. They were not successful. * A gaming group that this troper used to play in spawned quite a few: ** One of the most prominent ones is the association of owning/carrying shotguns with being very perceptive and vice versa after a player who had been examining his character sheet while the GM was explaining how Cognition checks work (basically the equivalent of Spot Checks for those of you who don't play Deadlands). Suddenly the player exclaimed, for no apparent reason, "and I have a shotgun!". ** Another meme amongst some of this troper's friends is shouting a very emphatic "NO!" in response to a question or suggestion or untrue/stupid statement and immediately mock-punching the person in the jaw in an exaggerated manner. I'm sure I stole the idea from somewhere, but I can't figure out where. * My dad gives AIDS to people. Not to mention "There are 25 million Men Who Have Sex With Me(n) in China."... * If anybody in my house mentions my aunt calling, expect someone, SOMEWHERE to scream 'KEEEEEEE-YUM?' (that is 'Kim' in an exaggerated Texas accent) Similar joke with my sister's mother-in-law, only with 'KAAAAAAAAATHERIIIINE?' in annoying posh accent. Also, anything said on a train, anywhere, has memetic potential with my and my friends. For the record, no-one gives a fuck who Karen is, Oi need two tickets fuh me an' me son, you need to sign a legal form to eat those chillies, we're going to Punchbowl brb, CAN WE BRING THE NOISE DOWN PLEASE? and JIMMAY! SIIIITTTT DOOOOWWWWWNNNN! * Mention clairvoyancy and poker in the same sentence, and someone in my drama class will laugh. * [[TheGreatPie I]] have generated a thousand of these: ** [[DeadBabyComedy Do you liek abortion?]] in response to the prolifemovement. Needless to say, many people were saying DudeNotFunny . *** PUEEERRR POOOWWWWUUUURRRRR. Don't ask. **** [[WordSaladHumor PORK AND BEEEEAAANNNNS IS THE GREATEST SUBSTANCE KNOWN TO MAN]] ***** And finally, [[TalesOfSymphonia ZEEELLLOOOOSSSS WIIILLLDDDDEEERRRRR]] * Me and my friends Guitar Hero-ize songs. We listen to songs on the

radio and sing to the tune of it, but instead of the words, we scream "Green, blue, yellow, orange, green, blue, orange" to the tune of the song as if we were playing Guitar Hero. ** It's a Vlassic! ** Hello, I'll be your not-quite Morgan Freeman for this movie * Our senior Myth and Epic class spawned a lot of these this year. Here's two of the most outstanding examples: ** Our instructor is always careful to stress that we don't mix up the names of similar mythological figures. We took note of his advice, but we didn't expect a section on our next test to deal with explaining the differences between Chiron and Charon. Now it's turned into something of a RunningGag. FINAL EXAM: CHIRON OR CHARON, MOFO?! ** The most recent deals with Halitherses from The Odyssey, who became very popular when we learned one of his epiphets was Monsignor Plausible. Someone commented that it sounded like a horrible superhero name and it just got worse from there: "Monsignor Plausible! Can you save my son from that burning building?!" "The chances seem... somewhat even!!" * [[{{Popette}} I]] seem to have discovered one that swept the school, based on an interview between [[HotHotHeat Steve Bays]] and [[{{CBC}} Jian Ghomeshi]]. -->'''JIAN GHOMESHI KNOWS WHEN YOU TAKE A BATH.''' * This one isn't funny at all, (unless you like DeadBabyComedy) but it is proof in my eyes that God and/or the Devil has an increadibly sick, wrong, twisted sense of humor (then again I should have known that already, look at [[TheBible the book of Job]]) and is a fan of anime. Anyway, I was shadowing a doctor for my senior project and she was telling me about one of her patients with metastasized prostate cancer. They were testing for a hormone or something produced by the prostate and anything over [[FourIsDeath four]] is considered above normal. This guy had, well... OVER NINE THOUSAND! I really really hope the test got messed up. Poor guy. I feel bad just typing this. * [[{{Umbee}} So, so many.]] ** From school (mostly my 10th grade English class): *** "...and then [[TheGreatGatsby Gatsby]] comes and kidnaps them on his hydroplane." *** "They eat the baby." *** Blue cashews. *** [[WMG/DeathOfASalesman The cheese.]] *** Lipless mutes. *** [[WhoWantsToBeAMillionaire Who Wants to Get Rich?]] *** "You hit the line. And then you get hiiiiiiigh." *** Th. ORR. ** From my nakama (be it between individual members or the nakama as a whole): *** [[UnusualEuphemism Rabbits.]] *** Kris is everyone's mom. But we all have different fathers. *** [[ArTonelico3 "JUS]][[GratuitousEnglish TIC]][[{{Narm}} E!"]] *** On that note, the endless annoying song war between me and Janice. *** Calpitalization and The, [[WantonCrueltyToTheCommonComma Cal Comma]].

** This troper has noticed that her speech is becoming more more meme-infected. It's gotten to the point where she's ''combining memes.'' -->Friend: I'm in a good mood and I owe you some money, what do you want from the chip van? --> ThisTroper: Can I * puts on glasses* ... Haz cheeseburger? * This Troper and her friends have: ** '''FORK!''' ** Ebola references ** Who's the {{uke}} and who's the {{seme}}? ** '''BUNNEHS.''' ** Why? ** HEADPATZ X3 * This troper's friends, upon seeing bubble wrap, tend to go "BUBBLE WUAAAAAPPP~" in a childish voice, then hug said bubble wrap while muttering "My precious..." in a Gollum voice. * One of this troper's ''friend's name'' (albeit said in an overdramatic way) has now reached such {{MemeticMutation}} status in her year that it is now a ''banned word'' in class. * In my junior year, there was a play, Death of a Doornail, and whenever someone said Hoopla, everyone else would also chime in with Hoopla. 6 months after the play everyone still Hooplas when anyone says it. * A quite new one amongst some of my friends is "I'm succed in school", based around a awful review for [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77pQPqFkBgw Simple Plan's "How Could This Happen To Me"]] [[SoBadItsHorrible (WARNING: THIS SONG IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF EGO)]]. The reviewer, a chap called "Oscar" talks about how much his life sucks, how he tries to kill himself, the problems with his mother's -- sod it. Please read it for the full effect. ->"This song is one of simple plans songs that is exactly how my life is. Second song is Welcome to my life. My moms economy is unfairly low, we can't even pay the rent, i have moved around 30 times and im just 15. I have been trying commit suicide but couldn't. I found a girl i fell in love with at first sight and we have stuck togheter in a year now. And we learned to know each other after we begun too call each other boyfriend and girlfriend. Thats the only light in my life for the moment. '''Im succed in school, im way too strong to fail school.'''" Just the murder of grammar, spelling and just the general tone of the review just gave us many great quotes to use. I encourage you to try to use "Im succed in school" for general lulz. * This Troper's family had too many memes to count, but probably the most popular is saying "Take off my sexy socks" in a British accent. * This Troper's mom is 21. Always. When it's her birthday, she turns 21. Even though this troper is 24, and his brother is 26. [[spoiler: She's actually 46]] * During Junior year drama class one day, I uttered an improv line during practice for our original play, given with an exaggerated Texas drawl: "Get ready to [[NerdsAreSexy feel the power of a nerd]], motherfucker!" In about the space of a few hours, it became one of the most quotable sayings in school history. Why yes, I ''am'' quite proud

of myself. ** More from [[Zandercan this troper]], most coming from school: *** '''Sliced chicken and gravy'''. Shared only by my parents and I back when we had a ridiculously picky cat. No points for guessing what her prefered flavor of cat food was. It's kind of an old meme now because we gave her to someone else years ago, but we'll still say it whenever the cat's brought up. *** I always beat my dad at Monopoly. ''Always''. Even when he wins. This one spawned from the fact that I'm usually the first to buy Boardwalk and Park Avenue when the opprotunity arises because it's an open secret that buying them both effectively wins you the game even without the utilities. *** [[DudeNotFunny Your Mom]]. Everybody told Your Mom jokes in high school. Even those two words on their own count, because people often just used them. *** Random Crap Cards, drawn by a classmate on index cards, often used tounge-firmly-in-cheek references to pop culture and other school memes. Even people from school were featured -- my card had "Nerd's War Cry" and "Popping it up" as the attacks. *** "What is your name?" Delivered in a British accent I can't quite place. I've also got a feeling it came from some pirate movie, because one of my classmates said it during a Drama production about pirates. *** "MONSTER!" One of my classmates really loved Monster Energy and once went on a quest to find the BFC, "The Holy Grail of Monster". *** [[NeverLiveItDown "Strawberry]] [[IntoxicationEnsues daquiris"]]. Mention that to my mother when she's drinking alcohol and she'll probably put down whatever she's drinking. In her defense, nobody was hurt when she climbed that tractor hammered and she had no idea they had alcohol in them when she specifically asked for non-alcoholic drinks. * [[{{INUH}} This Troper]] and his friends have quite a few, such as switching the words "therapist" and "terrorist" and references to our calculus and physics teacher's PsychicPowers, teleporter and time machine. On a recent Italy trip, we added "DUOMOOOOOOOOO!," "NO PHOTO!" (this being the thing the Sistene chapel security guards were constantly yelling at random people) and "SSSSSHHHHHHHHHHH" (this being the other thing they were constantly saying). * This troper has a few. ** "[[CheaperByTheDozen Is that blood? BLEH]]" "[[FullmetalAlchemist Yep, that's my blood.]]" ** POOR SEAN ** "[[FullmetalAlchemist Nina!]]" "NINAAAA" ** I'm going to be Hokage! ** BELIEVE IT ** [[SimplePlan HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME....]] ** [[ImogenHeap Ooh whatcha say, oh that you only meant well, of course you did...]] ** HOLY ROMAN EMPIREEEEEE * This tropers school has picked up "Greggity, Greg, Greg, Greg in a wig" due to a chap calle Greg who looks like he's wearing a wig. So much so there is a drawing of a Greggity Greg action figure, which comes with additional wigs.

* The [[Series/DoctorWho Eleventh Doctor's]] "Very not good indeed" seems to have fallen into my vocabulary quite unexpectedly. Conversely, enthusiasm is expressed by "Oh yes!" pronounced as by David Tennant in Doctor Who and Casanova, complete with head movement. * My dad and I have "Because we're Italian... ''RIGHT!??''. The origin of it was that we were watching the SuperMarioBrothersSuperShow, and because of my [[DeadpanSnarker nature,]] [[LampshadeHanging I had to hang several lampshades]] on the Italian stereotypes. Though a mini-meme was to mention stereotyping turned UpToEleven... the live action segments had '''[[BeyondTheImpossible their phone submerged in pizza.]]''' [[PrecisionFStrike WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT?]] I don't care if pizza is the only thing you eat, ''you do not do that!'' * "Let's go do X." "YES! LET'S!" * I Have a couple of 'em ** Do it! Buy a mountain! TODAY! ** OCCAPUS! ** CAEK!!! :D * This troper was playing the pokemon platinum version and his sister traded him a larvitar that was bred to know attract, when i used attract on geodudes it became meme among us and our friends that TY the Tyranitar could bag any pokemon he wanted with nothing but a wink and a devil may care attitude. * Abbadon and his equally screwy friend were discussing Command and Conquer, particularly, what Tiberium can do, both to you and for you, thus: STOP MOLESTING TEH TIBERIUMS!!! * [[@/BoldAsLove This Troper]] and her sister have a few ** ALL! ALL! ALL! KEITH! KEITH! What? Shut up and eat! ** ** It's 3 A.M time to check iHops for Courtney ** (In a false deep voice): NOBODY KNOWS YOU DAWG! ** Me: We have some bad news.\\ (in a high pitched voice): You're a little lepricorn\\ ** Me: Stop it Sally\\ Other: You stop it Mary Jane\\ Me: Bobby's mine\\ Other (in a deep voice): Bitch please\\ * Ah, [[http://morinoikedent.villagepages.org/ Mori no Ike.]] Been a source of many this year: ** Let's start with [[FountainofMemes Gorou-sensei]]: *** Saying "Sumimasen" in a diva-like way, and snapping while doing so. He kindly repeated it for us [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHliYjSpgYg here.]] *** [[LadyGaga Gaga-sensei,]] due to his Lady Gaga-esque sunglasses and the way he dances. *** [[http://th06.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2010/191/a/7/This_is_serious_b usiness__by_Mistehsong.jpg This pose.]] *** Him in a dress. *** He'll be the leader of Texas when it secedes. ** [[JapaneseRanguage "I don'to speaku Engurishu."]]

*** "You blunked." ** Kazue-sensei [[GirlInABox in a box.]] ** Kiyoko-sensei likes to pretend she's Kanji-sensei. ** "Pengiin" (penguin) and "chocho" (butterfly) being synonomous for "I lost the game!" ** A tako with a taco. ** "Fukushu!" ** [[PonyoOnACliffByTheSea "My crab sheilds are weakening!"]] ** [[http://kiraabsol.deviantart.com/# /d2sz3ff Bunquiorra]] * This troper and her friends have tons of inside jokes and memes. ** "Brittany is a plant." ** "Cammi, I'm recording again." My brother says this all the time and start recording randomly. ** "Why did I go through a wombat butt, and end up in the head of another wombat? THIS GAME IS SILLY!" A computer game we played for math class. IT'S CONFUSING! ** "Jerry. Jerry. Jerry...... J-Man." He never responds until the last one. He's a super hero. :P * One erupted between this troper and her brother this afternoon. Basically, the [[AvatarTheLastAirbender Dai Lee]] equal the KGB and Ba Sing Se equals Soviet Russia. In Soviet Ba Sing Se, earth bends you. * This troper and her mother constantly look at each other, yell "WOO-OOO-OOO-OOO-OOOH!" and wave their arms to emulate the dancing pancreases (pancreai?) from Weird Al's "Pancreas" video. * "My life is golf carts", a mishearing of a phrase nobody can remember anymore, became a general exclamation of despair and helplessness. It has since spawned ''another'' meme amongst this troper and his friends - "My life is beta tapes", thanks to CowboyBebop and the depressing turn of events that have grabbed hold of one of our number. * [[Tropers.Lilfut This Troper]]and his cousin have a few gamingrelated ones: ** "SUDDENLY, X!" (X was originally [[WarioWare Wario]], from [[SuperSmashBros the Subspace Emmisary]] cutscene "Wario messes with [[{{Kirby}} King Dedede]]") ** "THAT'S THE WORST PRIZE." (from a Pianta in VideoGame/SuperMarioSunshine who, in return for saving his life, ''throws you backwards''.) ** [[TemptingFate There certainly won't be a boss fight]] [[BossRoom ''here'']]. ** [[AlternateCharacterInterpretation Now see, I think]] [[VideoGame/SuperMarioSunshine Mario is the one trying to frame Bowser]]. * [[Tropers.AntipathicZora This Troper]] and her friends have a buttload of in-jokes, memes and the like. ** From a TV special thing involving Craig Ferguson, we have "I'M ENGLISH! I'M ENGLISH!" (If I recall, he was referring to his role on the Drew Carey Show), which extends to a villain in an RP we're both in, due to the fact that we envision said villain voiced by said talk show host. *** Another reference to the same show is Pregnant Drew. I'm... not very sure where this one came from.

*** Yet another on that note is Drew Sea Turtle, which is essentially Drew Carey in a sea turtle costume and/or a fat turtle with glasses. This one, iirc, stems from a fake emo poem that another friend babelfished and came up with an asinine interpretation of. ** Floating pies. * points to empty space* This one's so old that I don't think either of us remember where it came from. ** [[CampGay Gay]] [[HardGay Marshall]]. And his gaybeams. The person we refer to is an OC of another friend of mine. ** Thinkinh. This one is from an especially funny incident where a friend made the same typo four times in a row while trying to correct himself. ** Cherrygrapes, which is codeword for extreme silliness. ** Impissible. Another typo, which has been interpreted to mean one who cannot be pissed upon. ** Xerizero wears lacy bras. The villain from the above mentioned RP, and I'm not even going to pretend I know where this one came from. *** On top of that, said villain has come to be somewhat of a [[MemeticMolester Memetic Molester]] due to what he did to one of my own OC's. ** Jack's Special Swimsuit. Blame the [[Pokemon Pokemon]] episode Beauty and the Beach. ** [[KingdomHearts Zexion's]] [[EmoTeen Emo Poems]]. These frequently involve the other members of Organization XIII [[ImAHumanitarian eating him.]] ** 8{ or the Mrrf Face. [[http://knowyourmeme.com/i/2270/original/political-pictures-do-notwant-surprised-guy.jpg Because you can't look at this guy and tell me that's not the face/noise he's making.]] ** BOOBSHOES. Just BOOBSHOES. ** One of the most recent is Ramiro in Illinois, spawned during an episode of the Late Late Show. * This lurker's friends - online and offline - are all living breathing meme ''factories'' and she is the resident quote master. While not very memetic herself, she is also magnificently trope and internet savvy, constantly providing bafflement to the less-nolivelyinclined. (Some translated from Finnish for the reading pleasure of other Tropers) ** The "[[CatFace :3]]" smiley and all variations are referred to as "relatives" from a throwaway line of "wow, they're all related o_o" ** "It's full of mushrooms. (Mushrooms means [[DontExplainTheJoke gay sex]].)" Actually, "mushrooms" in general. Watch out for FullmetalAlchemist though. ** "I want my pornstick back!" ** NAAT! ** "I'm not Lappish, dammit!" ** "Traitor's death." ** BROI-OI-OI-OOI!! ** Knuuti is Our Father, Ou-sama, a Highlander '''and''' he can teleport. ** [[GratuitousJapanese "<Noun in CAPS> WA NANI?!" and "ORA, TEMEYARO!!"]] ** Carrera is the Queen of Anons. It's cool to feed her.

*** She also adopted the couch after the mods left. ** "Sirpale", "Pink Elephant", "It's not chocolate." and other chatroom safe words. ** Flipping tables over in anger. Usually takes the form of "<RAGEY ALLCAP MESSAGE or {{Angrish}}> * TABLEFLIP* " ** [[YaoiFangirl "FURFAG!!<3"]] [[FurryFandom "SLASHFAG!!<3"]] ** Taking a commercial break when stuff gets stupid. Sometimes accompanied with [[TheSpoonyExperiment "I'm watching the commercials now. The commercials are less stupid."]] ** [[ThatGuyWithTheGlasses SHIRTLESS BENZAIE!!]] ('''Dancing!!!''') * 'Peach tea' has now become one for this troper and both of her younger brothers. Among her and her classmates, "The Living Cheese" and the "Chee Ting Fondue Corporation" are also some. The first of those two in particular must always be said in a thick Scottish or British accent, depending whether you are female or male, respectively. ** And a special one, just for her, that nobody else would be able to understand: "Rua's killing our Solar System!" Said whenever anything dramatic happens in the sky, like a sudden cloud covering the sun, or if clouds are funny colors. * One among the former students of this troper's freshman year history class is "Oxygen" as an answer to "Why does this happen?" type of questions. Our teacher pushed a chair a few feet across the floor and asked why it stopped. The expected answers, which a couple people yelled, were things like "Friction!" and "Gravity!" Except for [[TheDitz this one kid]] who yelled out, "OXYGEN!" Also, there's a meme about our teacher being a vampire (stemming from the fact that he's actually from Transylvania). * Kulture here, and a few knocking around my gaming group are: ** "It's ARCANE!" Said in a falsetto, usually said while flying and turning upside down in mid air, normally followed by: ** "Can somebody right me?" Said while flying upside down fueled by arcane power. ** "I'm the mage!" said by someone doing something utterly against mage archetype, borne from a dragonage arcane warrior who wore full plate and beat a high dragon to death. ** "Don't glitch/roll a 1/etc." Said just before a dice roll. ** "VENOM STORM!!!" Shouted during LARP by every single mage because it's an instant damage AOE (rather than DOT AOE), usually encountered in its variant ** "VENOMSTORMVENOMSTORMVENOMSTORMVENOMSTORMVENOMSTORMVENOMSTORMVENOMSTOR MVENOMSTORMVENOMSTORMVENOMSTORMVENOMSTORMVENOMSTORMVENOMSTORMVENOMSTOR M......Is it dead yet?....VENOMSTORM!!!" The version green mages use. ** "You find a severely beaten up Barret." Shadowrun joke resulting from me trying to fire a Barret sniper rifle from the sun-roof of a moving van followed by me rolling 5 glitches n 6 dice for a ballance check. I dropped my barret as a result. The recovered barret was melted down into the slugs for my caseless 20mm sniper rifle I built as an upgrade, unfortunately we've since moved on to play Warhammer fantasy roleplay and have yet to even finish the final raid on the apartment of a pair of blue minigun wielding troll kidnappers (two by

two, guns of blue, it's that sort of campaign), thus my chances of using these shells are slim. ** "Glau!" Said after a long winded strategic analysis and option rundown by a friend as his character (Glau, a chinese elf street samurai with monofilament whips in her fingers and River tam Expy) can only say her own name. We've only seen Glau show anything but apathy and glee once, and when we saw her get angry at someone with no soul readout we shat our collective trousers. * [[{{Bickendan}} This Troper's]] neighbors loves to argue with the entire neighborhood as the audience. This has yielded two memoriable lines: ** [[ThisIsSparta "Bitches is lying!"]] ** "I tell you why I did it! 'Cause I could!" * This troper and her sister have many of these. Unfortunately, we can't really remember them until a situation calls for us to say one. ._.; Here are the ones this troper ''can'' remember. ** "DANCE BREAK!" * does Caramelldansen/other ridiculous dance* ** "I'm not stealing, I'm LIBERATING!" ** "I bet I could kill you with this." ** "Iz dead." ** "I love you, be safe, MAKE GOOD CHOICES!" ** Person: * says something* Troper: * sings something with those words in the lyrics* ** "I wants them, you can't haves them!" ** "I have a split personality! * Switches to "Gollum Voice"* No you don't!" ** Ramune bottles are indestructible. They break hammers. ** Toasty the Toaster/Evil Overlord will Rule ALL! ** "THE COLOOOOOOORS!" ("Colors" is pronounced like "calahs" though.) ** "What's for dinner?" ** Writing hippo on the shopping list. However, this has stopped since a toy hippopotamus was, in fact, bought after about the fourth or fifth time hippo appeared on the shopping list. ** Saying in a high pitched voice "LUTE!" then running off pretending to play a lute or saying "Play your lute!" whenever an abrupt exit happens with no lute playing. ** [[TheRoadToElDorado Your horse bit me in the butt!]] * "Achilles is invincible... HE CANNOT BE BEATEN!" * This troper was at a huge house party, already pretty drunk and a bit baked. His original intention was merely to make an accurate observation. "There's certainly some bodacious babes at this do!". He got grins of approval, a fist-bump and instantly quotable status from his friends for his trouble. Unfortunately his state of being continued on a downward spiral, and by the end of the night he wasn't making out with a hottie, but the sink. :( * This troper's highschool Nakama had quite a few: ** My [[CoolHat hat]], I always had it on, whenever a teacher asked me to take it off the immediate responce would be "But it makes me look sexy!" in a dissapointed tone. *** That is untill halfway through year 10 when the art teacher interupted me "Dashing, not sexy, it makes you look dashing" So from then on the complaint was "But it makes me look dashing!"

** Calling anybody who doesn't do what we asked a bitch, orriginated thanks to my friend Joe failing to get my lunch from the serving area when he got his, my reply to his failiur was "Where's my lunch Joe? You forgot it didn't you? You're such a bitch." * The previous year, this troper had always said 42 as a response to rhetorical questions, a la The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy. Everyone had found it obnoxious, and now it's devolved into something the guys in my class randomly shout out. * Osmosis is the answer to everything. * [[MagnusRyujin I]] found one of the highest concentration of memes in one sentance on GameFAQs as somebody's signature: ChuckNorris [[BreathWeapon is charging his laser]] to [[ReadingsAreOffTheScale OVER 9000]] in [[ThisIsSparta SPARTA]] with [[{{Naruto}} his Ninja Info Cards]] to jump onto [[MobileSuitGundam White Base]], but [[{{Starcraft}} must construct additional pylons.]] * To name a few, "It's Not needed!!!", "sandvhich", [[{{big no}} Oh teh noes!!]]. Many more... * Apparently, between my brother and I, Wolverine of the X-Men is incapable of saying any word other thay "rookie" and "bub", leading to sentences like "Rookie bub bub rookie rookie bub." ** "[[SunsetRiders Marry me with my money.]]" was a personal meme before I even discovered it was a real meme. ** Wario is such an ExtremeOmnivore that he eats everything he sees, edible or not. ** [[BlatantLies Bellsprout is the fattest Pokemon of them all]]. ** [[FountainOfMemes The Hikers from the Pokemon series]]. They ended up in The Underground because the surface couldn't support their weight. Standing two spaces above them causes them to [[OffModel become possessed]]. They ate all the Pokemon in the Underground. The reason they trade stuff for Spheres is so they can eat the Spheres. Every time we set up traps, it inevitably ends with a Hurl Trap flinging you into the nearest Hiker. *** Also, the pink-shirted blue-overalled [=NPCs=] from Heart Gold and Soul Silver are "Wild Snorlaxes", and the female Ace Trainers are Black Apricorn Trees (Due to their hair). *** Finally, Palkia is Batman, because his theme in Mystery Dungeon sounds like a Batman-ish theme. ** During my Junior year at High School, it was decided by the class that our Physics teacher looked like Dr. Robotnik (He did, just with a smaller, gray moustache and some hair, and obviously dressed differently.). ** When playing Pokemon Puzzle League for the N64, there are several rules (Made by Giovanni). -> #1: '''You are not allowed to beat Giovanni!''' -> #2: Prof. Oak is not allowed to participate. [[hottip: *: This is because of another household meme. In the tutorial, he holds the L button down and causes his blocks to hit the ceiling. [[IPulledAWeirdAl Pulling a Prof. Oak]] is when somebody does this suicide-by-L-button, which was once done by ''Mewtwo'' [[TrueFinalBoss of all people]]. By doing this, Prof. Oak makes the game unfun for whoever his opponent is, and is therefore banned.]] -> #3: No flirting with Giovanni (This is because nobody is worthy of

Giovanni except Giovanni.). * I play MagicTheGathering, and recently "Twiddling your Bone Flute" has come to mean [[ADateWithRosePalms something else]]. Then my friend played Bone Flute, and [[FoeYay I Twiddled it]]. * Me and My Girlfriend share quite a few. ** OWLS! EVERYTHING IS OWLS!! * This Troper and his brother have a couple: ** "Salt up them peas bioy!" ** "Got it, birdmen", when asked a question, in reference to a particularly strange episode of Countdown * In archery class at school, people have taken to referring to the bows as [[HalfLifeFullLifeConsequences "wepon"]], along with the targets being "the final/next boss". * Dad and [[@/SoWeAteThem I]] have an in-joke of sorts. [[hottip:*:It spawns from his hobby of boxing. The way he tells it, every mistake you could make ultimately leads to...]] -->--Get hit in the face? -->--Get hit in the face. ** This also happened between me and my then-{{Nakama}}.[[hottip:*:We were high-school students of varying ages and years, so some (like me) have since graduated as of this writing.]] Some of our members were, like me, avid Pokmon fans, and we started naming ourselves after Pokmon games. *** Red Version and Green version, two friends who closely resembled (and acted like) one another, named for their jackets. *** Red Version's girlfriend was Blue Version, for her blue coat. *** I was Diamond Version, because Red Version didn't like the game's soundtrack. Would now be the right time to say my tastes in music made people cringe? *** We had others, too. There was a Pearl Version (pals with Red Version and Green Version), and another of Red Version's pals called himself Bronze Version. We may have named other members of the collective, but I'm not sure. ** Another one, inspired by slew after slew of Hitler-themed documentaries: -->--Nazi! -->--"Ding!* * In a faction on an online game I occasionally play, the day after I introduced them to [[MyImmortal a certain fanfic]], there was someone making a drunken rant on the chat for the entire server, spelling things horribly. I quickly put out a shout stating, "Loopin masticates to the horrible spelling in World Chat." Cue laughter and weird whispers from anyone on the server who knew me and was paying attention, and it became kind of a thing within the faction to quote random lines from the fic sometime afterward, and usually "Loopin masticates to X in World Chat," depending on what was going on. Between friends, we'd have random conversations of speaking in engrish, or thanks to a certain drugrelated incident that involved me making [[{{naruto}} "hand signs"]] while high, I am often given the nickname "Ninja." * My OCBF (See the "Ho Yay" page to know what OCBH means.) and I have started lampshading every single trope we invoke.

-->'''Me''': You know, you're a great guy. Cute, smart, witty, and sensitive. If he can't see that, sucks to be him. -->'''Him''': HoYay! * This troper and his brother will often add "even ice!" after the word "anything". (Batman animated series episode about firefly) ** When something suddenly works for no apparent reason, you "weren't holding your mouth right." When something breaks, "all the goody leaked out." If something electronic broke, the "magic smoke" escaped from it. Instead of complicated directions, "you can't get there from here." * This tropers boy-mate is basically a fountain of memes, coupled with his innate ability to make anything funny. Makes hiim funny to be around. He basically invents new catch phrases for our group and gives himself funny titles which always just work...We call him Gramps after who he decided to be on Wii. ** This troper also has a crapload of other memes with her nonboyfriend and her various best friends. * Me and my brother get a kick out of dramatically calling menial things "Worse than [[GodwinsLaw Hitler]][[RefugeInAudacity and 9/11!!!!111"]] We don't do it in public, because some people don't get that it's a PARODY of overstating menial things... * [[Series/DoctorWho Dalek CAAAAAAAN!]] ** I has plastic spooooooooon! ** X's [[Series/DoctorWho are]] [[BowTiesAreCool cool]] * This troper's group has several, the best one stems from when I asked a friend if his dad was in the army, and he responded by saying "NO! My dad was in the Air Force and he fixed PLANES!". The way he said it was so over-the-top and loud, [[RuleOfFunny and for no particular reason]] that it has become the default silly answer for any question at my lunch table. * This troper and his friends have collected a bunch: ** "OH HAI, I didn't see you there..." ** "Well ''done'' Jimmy!" ** "*claps hand on shoulder* There come's a time in a man's life..." ** "I'm going to hit you... WITH THIS *holds up fist*" ** "DING DING DING DING DING" ** "Is that porn on your phone?!" ** "*irish accent* SON OF A BITTTCH!" ** "BOSH! *repeat whatever just happened*" ** "WHAAAAT?" * What's a masochist? ** [[NoIndoorVoice ANYONE THAT TAKES AP EURO!]] * In this troper's {{Nakama}}, we have a few: ** [[YoutubePoop DOCTOR ROBOTNIK]] THINKS THAT THIS IS PINGAS ** pingas is penguins lol ** [[NoodleIncident WITH AN ANTEATER?!]] ** [[SophisticatedAsHell 'Indeed']] as a response to ClusterFBombs. ** ''[[{{Squick}} FLUPP?]]'' ** [[{{Film/Watchmen}} And the women in the audience can only imagi OH MY GOD.]]

** [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotHeinous [X] plays World of Warcraft.]] ** 9. [[TheGmodIdiotBox 9.]] [[RuleOfThree 9.]] * This troper has many different personal memes with his family and friends, including; ** My grandmother's [[BerserkButton utter hatred of Cliff Richard and all Cliff Richard related things, to the point that voices are raised and pillows are flung]], as well as some classic short and snappy phrases she uttered within the one week most of our family traveled to Cyprus for a week, including "Wheres the milk?!" "Where's the paper?! I can't have this, this is YESTERDAYS!!" ** Following up a sarcastic comment or insult with the phrase "BANTER!" ** My tendancy to automatically say "Lovely, thank you" when responding to a cashier or salesperson. ** An increadiblly silly "dance" a friend of mine has come up with, which essentially consists of him shuffling about and walking towards you whilst wearing a blank expression, which has been dubbed "The Old Man Jig". ** Refering to the band Groove Armada as "The Poster Children for [[SoOkItsAverage FUCKING AVERAGE!!"]] ** Exagerating the name of a friend of ours; His name is Tahihrul, but we often pronounce it 'Tai-WOOOOOO!'. Said friend is also something of a [[MemeticBadass Memetic Badass]]. ** "I'll go back to my corner ;__; *crawls away in shame*", a phrase typed up when i make an especially bad pun. ** The following exchange; "Fine. Then go do... Whatever it is you do when i X" "DRINKING. 8D" ** Me and one specific friend of mine even have our own self-contained memes, such as talking about BUSINESS (As in, the conversation will literally degenerate into speaking as if we're a couple of company CEO's, but rather then actually specifying any subject, we'll just continually say the word 'Business' with a large amount of emphesis put on the word), doing two quick pelvic thrusts whilst saying the phrase "GOOD FOOD.", singing praises about his impression of a car, claiming it to be the best one around, to the point that it can exhaust ([[IncrediblyLamePun tee hee]]) him and potentially kill him; said impression literally consists of him holding his hands out in front of him as if he's holding onto a steering wheel, saying "I'm a car, i'm a car" over and over in the most deadpan voice possible, and ramming into you, and bringing up a series of stories that all seem to be traditional beginings to cliche' underdog stories, but always end the same way: "Then his/her X increased tenfold and he/she went on to Y". [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext Your guess is as good as mine, pal.]] * This troper and her college roommates have a favorite that they still reference: -->Do you want a mudkip? Fuck yeah ya do! -->It lives in water, god damn. -->Fuck yeah it shoots water out of its mouth! -->It evolves or some shit. -->Do you want a mudkip, or do you want a faggy chicken or lizard? You

know the right choice, Jesus shit. -->It fucking flies or some shit. God damn." ** This would be altered to fit whatever topic we were discussing, but it always followed the same formula. We would try to have unique uses of the word "fly" in the last line: -->Do you want to get laid? Fuck yeah ya do! -->You wanna have sex, god damn. -->Fuck yeah you want to perform coitus! -->It feels good or some shit. -->Do you want to get laid, or do you want to stay home and watch porn? You know the right choice, Jesus shit. -->You want your boyfriend to unzip his fly. God damn. * This Troper's high school theatre troupe is a gold mine for inside memes, but these are the two longest lasting ones: ** For the 2009 fall production, we were having rehearsals in the auditorium, but the Fashion Marketing classes were also rehearsing for their annual fashion show in the auditorium. Us bad ass DramaClub kids managed to kick them out, but some of the girls did not quite get the message and would ask "Is fashion here?" How it was said was: "Ir farsha har?" When we say "no, they're in the cafeteria," it would prompt with an answer of "What the fuck?" (or, "Whadafawk?!") Since then, whenever a Fashion student walked in wondering where fashion was, we'd wait for them to leave and then yell: "Ir farsha har?!" with an occasional "Whadafawk?!" ** For the 2010 fall production (''An American Daughter'' by Wendy Wasserstein), one character asks another if he'd like to go for a jog. The other character is upset at the questioner and responds "Are you a sadist or just a little jerk?" (censored for high school purposes). The line itself is funny, but when the actor said the "sadist...jerk" line, it was so angry and vicious that it prompted a {{Laconic}} version: *** "Wanna go for a jog?" *** "I HATE YOU!" * My friend Richie and I have a few, namely "Testicular cancer?" as the answer for any question, "That's your right hand" whenever someone gets smacked, and Force Punting anything we don't like. * [[{{nekoalexa}} This troper]] has many examples. The first one, I wasn't even aware of til my younger cousin told me her story. Apparently, while my family was at Disney World (or whatever theme park we were at), my family used walkie-talkies to communicate. Well, some of my family had gotten separated from the rest of us, being me, my mom, my grandparents. My aunt, uncle, cousins and sister were waitig in the van for us and decided to try to reach us with their walkie-talkies. One of my cousins, who pretty much is the jokester in our family, had accidently gotten onto somone else's frequency. Cue this conversation: -->Stranger: "Yo, man where you at?" -->Cousin: "We're at the water park!" -->Stranger: "Say what?" -->Cousin: "Say word!" ** Needless to say, ''every time'' anyone, especially [[{{nekoalexa}} this troper]], says "Say what", someone ''will'' retort with a "Say

word".The other examples are from countless stupid things me and my cousin have seen, heard, or said. We had so many of these that my cousin eventually recorded her saying them on her phone. Here are the ones I can remember: -->"AAAOOOHH!"(from some men's trip thing shown at my church) -->"Benjo!" (from some movie my cousin's family and I were watching one day) -->"Sleep" (my cousin would growl this as an opposite to [[TheMarvelousMisadventuresOfFlapjack Flapjack]]'s song that he sings to K'nuckles in one episode) -->"I hate you!" (usually accompanied by hair flipping; we got it from [[AvatarTheLastAirBender Zuko's]] actor in the episode where the fire nation has a play that parodies the show.) -->"What?! You snake!! (from another movie we watched) -->"Turkey...rolls." (something stupid I said because of a Thanksgiving presentation shown in my church that would show a loop of pictures of food, some of which was turkey and rolls). -->"AHAHAHAAA!" (the laugh that can be heard at the beginning of [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MCfkF1dvcc "Kickin' Wing, Animal Doctor"]] by Attack Attack!) -->"Help your grandfather!" (said in [[YugiohTheAbridgedSeries Grandpa's]] voice, from the one episode where he's having a heart attack screaming for help and Yugi is talking on the phone, completely ignoring him) -->"Because ''I'' said ''Egyptian''!" ( also from [[YugiohTheAbridgedSeries Yugioh the Abridged Series]], when Yami says that Joey's "Brooklyn Rage" was stupid, and soon after using his version, "Egyptian Rage". Joey then asks what the difference is, and then Yami retorts using this example) * This troper has an incredibly bad habit of interrupting long-winded speeches or people who won't shut by adopting a dramatic card-drawing pose and roaring "ORE NO TAAAN!" Loosely translated from Japanese; "It's my turn!" and a line from Yu-Gi-Oh. Most people have no idea what's going on, but it allows her to get a word in edgewise. Much to her suprise, she said it in a library one day, and a boy about her age jumped in front of her, mimicked her pose and cried "So Doro... MONSUTAA KAADO!", another line (and gratiutious english) from the series. She was reather suprised. She wishes she'd asked for his number. * This troper's Power Trio (made of THREE IDS!) has quite a few... ** [[OzzyOsbourne ALL ABOAAAAAAAAARD, AHAHAHAHAHAHA!]] ** [[GratuitousEnglish You sucks, learn play.]] ** Aaaaaaand.... [[WorldOfWarcraft KILLING]] [[CallingYourAttacks SPREEE!!!!!!!!]] ** Randomly letting out a loud screech into the mic on any kind of voice chat, usually when you just did something epic, or when entering a new server. ** Going "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" incessantly for almost a minute on voice chat in games whenever we get annoyed. It's called the "Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaantra".

** Whhaaaaaaaatt iiiiissss aaaaaaaa "[noun]"??? ** Whhhaaaaattt doooeeeeesss iiitt meeaaaann "to [profane verb]"??? ** [[WorldOfWarcraft LEEEEROOOOOOY JEEENKIIIIINS]] ** Various catchy misspellings, such as "Scrotch" instead of "Scorch", "[[TengenToppaGurrenLagann MEGA GIGA BREAKEEEER]]", ** Anything regarding {{Buckethead}}. ** Anytime one of us gets banned from a server (which happens a lot, considering the amount of trolling we do), he usually goes "I got a BANnana!" or "LOL KICKED AND BANNED!". ** "Avenging". ** Whenever one of us is absent, we say he's probably watching hentai. * My lunch-table friends and [[Tropers/SukiSelfDestruct I]] have quite a few. ** "IMMA FRENCH FRY YOUR COOKIE ''SO HARD''!" is one. *** Also, "Imma breadstick your cookie." *** Oh and bananas & melons. ** "I'm going to be [[MyChemicalRomance GERARD WAY]] when I grow up! AND YOU! You're going to be Frank Iero. We get shipped a lot. ALSO YOU ARE MY LITTLE BROTHER WE ALSO GET SHIPPED." Courtesy of me standing up and saying that randomly, and also "Oh, and you can be the Everchanging Drummer." *** "Come on, little girl brother..." as said by me to the girl whom I have deemed to be Mikey. *** And this has spread! [[Tropers/SukiSelfDestruct I]] ask people what they want to be when they grow up, or assign destinies. ** One girl at are table is a bit of a MemeticBadass, but not without reason. ** "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "[[Series/DoctorWho Doctor]]." "[[IncrediblyLamePun Doctor who]]?" "EXACTLY!" ** And another guy is my ARCH-NEMESIS. But we trade BamanPiderman jokes a bit. ** Replacing a swear with the name of a kid we joke about. "You mother[name]ing [name]hole!" *** And that we're going to kill him. ** In French class, we have [[{{Friends}} "French it up, dude!"]] and "soy sauce" (a kid mispronounced ''soixante'', sixty). * To make fun of anyone on TV or video who just had a Stupid Moment, we have "[[AllYourBaseAreBelongToUs He am try as hard as can was]]!" * A few of this troper's favorite memes: ** "[[GratuitousSpanish Da me la pelota]]!" (I'm not sure if that's grammatically correct. Probably isn't. Sorry.) ** "Oh my god! A bittern! Right behind you!" (don't even ask) ** [[PublicServiceAnnouncement Duck and cover]]! * This editor has made a meme with his father of pretending that there's a goat on the roof, usually by saying "Hey pa! There's a goat on the roof!", due to him finding a board game by that name on [=BoardGameGeek=]. This got to the point where we got the actual game for Christmas. * These editors started "WAT IS MY LYFE" after seeing it captioning a picture of a very distressed [[DavidTennant David Tennant]] holding a stuffed penguin. (He was telling a bedtime story.) * Amongst this troper (SteveElOtaku) and his friends, there's "EXCUSE

ME SIR! Do you have Prince Albert in a can? You do? Then you better let the poor guy out! WAHA WAHA WAHA!" from Tim Curry's performance as Pennywise, "YA DA DA DA DA DA" in refrence to Jagi's half-assed attacking in the English dub of Fist of the North Star, Starfish Hitler being an utter Badass (Kamen Rider X), quoting Tommy Wiseau (Oh hai Mark), the Joker's Boner issue of Batman (So they laugh at my boner, eh?), Kane's "BY MY OWN FORCES!" and amongst his fellow students, there's "Street Kaiser" (an OldShame Toku film he made) and "JUSTICE!" (from when he was something of a LoveFreak, also more recently from giving a ShutUpHannibal to an annoying JerkAss stalker). * Back in the day, it seemed that every time [[{{Tropers/Kadorhal}} I]] would achieve "Dominating" with the sniper rifle in ''UnrealTournament'', less than a second later there'd be another enemy for me to kill. As such, I ended up making the announcer shout "Dominating double kill" frequently, and that became a minor meme between me and my brother. * [[ADateWithRosiePalms I have dealt with the problem.]] ** Also, [[RapeIsFunnyWhenItIsMaleOnMale ASSUME... THE POSITION!]] ** Not to mention "Wait. Is there leather involved?" (This troper's girlfriend is rather kinky.) * At my school their is a old para who sits in with our History Class, one day we covred the 1920's and she was getting called "Flapper" (though she was born in the 1950s apparently) one phrases that often shouted "You got a flask for your Flapper!?!!" * At a forum I go to, I was for a while "the [[MemeticMutation Leekspin.]] person", with a leek becoming my[[IconicItem Iconic Item]]. (Seems to be mostly dead now) * At my school, Caramelldansen is known as "the Pikachu dance". * Moments where anyone is not seen is now referred to as a [[AxisPowersHetalia "Canada]] Moments" * LOLZ [[AuthorVocabularyCalendar mendacious]] * WOW HAY NOW TOO FAST ** Madison is a fish. ** Hehe...Long...WURMS.... ** Celery. * Among this Troper's friends,there's one saying that [[FateStayNight Bazette's]] [[CrowningMusicOfAwesome theme]] from BattleMoonWars Turns anyone into a champion when it [[ThemeMusicPowerUp plays for them]]. ** Another one is About {{Ninja}}.Except for a certain kind of Ninja. * This Troper was watching Kung Fu Panda Holiday, when this happened: -->'''Shifu:''' Always perfect, always elegant-->'''Troper:''' ALWAYS SEXY HEADRESSES. ** *Replace headresses with whatever* Instant inside meme. * Me and my friend has made several old SpongebobSquarepants quotes into memes between ourselves, examples incuding the entirety of "Life of Crime" and "Tea At The Treedome" (I don't need it, I don't need it, I DEFINITELY don't need it... I NEEEEEEEEEEEEED IT!) * My friends and I have a busload of memes between all of us, mostly references to things. ** BUH! Baaw... BUH! Baaw... BUH! Baaw... ** [[{{Metalocalypse}} HAMBURGER TIME.]] ** It's a GIANT ''WOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRMMMMMM!''

** Lightning bolt...lightning bolt...lightning bolt... ** Are they ''zombies?!'' Are they ''ninjas?!'' Are they...''ZINJAS?!'' I DON'T KNOW! ** Sure please, [whatever] yes. ** There are only FIVE KINDS of [whatever], and the differences between them are [whatever]. ** From [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otXGqU4LBEI this song]]: "YADADADAH!" "YADADADAH!" "YADADADAH!" "YADADADAH!" "DADADUM DADADUM DADADUM DADADUM-DUM-DUM!" ** [[{{Homestuck}} All the [whatever]. All of them.]] * Going/went/about to go Ham! ** SHHHOOOOOOOOO! I SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAR! ** Multicultural Orgasm ** [[{{theboondocks}} KEEEEEEE YAAAAAA BITCH]]! * In this troper's nakama: ** "Milky Way!" [[http://www.licensestream.com/licensestream2/LSCContentStorage/262/Us erComps/aalxakcl.jpg *this hand gesture*]] ** "Me gusta." ** [[QuestForCamelot Ruber]]: "Helloooo, my fwiends!" Also, Ruber's hugs do 10 damage. ** This troper and her friend are [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Co6OHe4KaEc BLUUUUUUUE AND CYAAAAAAAAN!]] ** Mr. [human geography professor] can't draw a hexagon. ** Now you know [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzuOaLZ6sD0 how to kill a hooker.]] ** Rib Jesus! ** "M.O.D.O.K. can FLY." and *extremely nasally voice* "Hyper-Psyonic BLASTERRRRRR!" * This troper and her boyfriend: ** "It's too late." *poker face* ** "I'm hungry." "No, YOU'RE [[AxisPowersHetalia ITALY!]] ** Chee Eff Choo, the Chinese knock-off of {{TeamFortressTwo}}. ** [[PocketTanks Pocky Tanks!]] ** *breathy voice* "EVERYTHING." ** [[RozenMaiden Jun's]] name is Squidgeon and Suiseiseki can't stand [[UrbanDead harmanz.]] ** [[NeonGenesisEvangelion Shinji]] turned chibi! ** [[NeonGenesisEvangelion ITJUSTMAKESMESO]] [[{{Angrish}} ANGRY!!!!!]] ** "[[JapaneseRanguage Uuuuuuwat is]] [noun]?" "[[[BlatantLies obviously fake definition]]]" "Ohhhhhhh ai shee." ** "GET IN THE CANDY THERE'S A VAN!" * DaLucaray030 and his pals have a few ** Wild Missingng-dzvjcgnsdjmnzxlh(Jibberish may be replaced with NawoOawOawOawO) ** -Do this with a british accent- I DON'T FLIPPIN' CARE ABOUT NO FLIPPIN' ROCKET LAUNCHERS, FLIP IT! (One time I was playing SSBB, I was P1, and my brother was P2. I ran past a "Rocket Launcher", and my brother complained. Then I yelled that.) ** [[FountainOfMemes Come to think of it, I made most of these

memes...]] * This Tropette has many a meme, be it with family or friends. ** *While stumbling around acting dazed* Where's Salty's? This comes from my Mum trying to find a seafood restaurant in Halifax. ** "Piggy is sensitive is not a legitimate answer!" and "Piggy is sensitive!" is a meme in English class after the teacher complained that on our "Lord of the Flies" quiz, every question involving Piggy was answered by "He's sensitive!" ** "Stag Beetle: LOVE IT!" and "Whale: Bigesy Manimal" coming from some badly translated Asian cookies. ** Not one of mine, but two of my friends, whenever hearing of either a job or something sucking, will shout a quote from one of their mothers; "My first job ever was picking raspberries, '''IT SUCKED'''!" ** [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin "That one niner in particular!"]] ** I often cry "FOR NARNIA" and charge whenever I am leaving writing club. ** Also, I am often referred to as "Wonder Woman" by the older students and some teachers. ** My personal one; if I'm making something up or just particularly crazy that day, it ''will'' involve zombies. * One of the vocab phrases in my German textbook is "I'm sorry, but we're all out of couscous." It's become an inside joke with my friends. * "Read her poetry. And then... seven fingers." * Once, [[@/LostLenore This Troper]] said to her friends "I don't really watch television", which has somehow mutated into "I don't even ''watch'' TV" and gone memetic. Go figure. * [[@/MegaRock35 This troper]] has quite a few memes between his family and friends, including but not limited to: "This is spam, deal with it"; "I'll tell you what I want!"; and "The chicken is in the tree." Good luck trying to make sense of those. * [this troper] and his family are prone to quoting Night at the Roxbury and the Krusty Krab Training Video to the point they are BEYOND memetic. In particular, we love to describe straws as "liquid transfer devices" and myself and my brother will often start (interchangably) "are you two brothers?" "No... Yes" "MAN!" out of the blue ** It has also become a bit of an inside joke with one of my cliques of freinds for this troper's "manliness" to be referred to as "Ego" (don't ask) and so any time an attractive woman appears on screen, it's almost mandatory to say "Quiet Ego!" ** also the insult "You orangataun titty!" was in vouge for a majority of his junior year ** one more for the road. As a running character in many theatre class murder mysteries, we had the greatest slueth of them all, Dr. Detective God-Terrorist, and his sidekick, Nurse Deputy Jesus Jaywalker * [[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Tropers/Squidage I]] quote almost everything to make people laugh. I really love doing it. For example: ** [[WesternAnimation/AdventureTime "Don't burn it now, Gumby! Hush now, I ain't gonna burn it."]]

** [[SpongebobSquarePants "KRUSTY KRAB PIZZA IS THE PIZZA FOR YOU AND MEEEEE!"]] ** [[TimAndEricAwesomeShowGreatJob "This is what I do I sit on you, sit on you. Right on your head."]] ** "LITTLE OLD FAT CHINESE MAN!!" * Here's some from me or anybody I know: ** Myself: These guys are just about as mean as the ones on the TotalDrama [[AcceptableTargets Wiki]]. ** Friend: I see, a hole! ** Kyle: Just shut up and be quiet. ** Brother (Kind of falls under ToiletHumor): oopsie, poopsie, I gotta go dootsie. ** Myself: Negative {{Natter}}: Due to receiving more negative responses than positive ones, this is the phrase I post when negativity becomes provoked. * "Who's on first?" "You's on first!" * This Troper was extremely tired after opening night of his theater group's production of [[AFunnyThingHappenedOnTheWayToTheForum "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum"]] and, at a local restaurant with his fellow castmates, asked what the difference between seasoned and unseasoned fries was. I'm still trying to live it down. * [[Tropers/QuackorTheFowl This troper]] went to a conference for a countrywide technology association for middle and high school students in the past year. In the opening ceremonies, we had a motivational speaker who declared to the crowd that "if you ''act'' enthusiastic, you will ''be'' enthusiastic! '''''YOU ARE AMAZING!'''''" The next day, you could not get on any elevator with another member without being told this. * The answer to any question is [[Series/DoctorWho "42!!!"]] in Biology class. Along with, in Geography, "ALL HAIL THE PHYSIDOG!" * This Troper has a running gag with his friend that is kind of like the Aristocrats joke: It has to do with SidTheScienceKid walking along and seeing something horrifying or risque; for example, a man being hung, someone being raped anally, or two lesbians having sex in the middle of the street. Sid will always say "Cool!" * This troper's AP Literature class had several memes, thanks to interesting characters and an awesome teacher. Examples include: ** The ridiculous amount of sexual metaphor in ''Sons and Lovers'', especially the [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything pencil-flinging scene]]. ** How unbelievably long our Hamlet trial was going on for (it was supposed to be four days, it went for over a month). Related to that, "OBJECTION!" *** "Overruled!" *** "SIT DOWN!" ** "Correlation is not causation", which ascended into next year's AP Language class. ** Finally, "___ spoiled the end of the book! YOU BASTARD!" * When [[Tropers/{{Premonition45}} this troper]] was in 6th grade, my science teacher started calling me "Mo" because my name is a bit tricky to pronounce. Soon, everyone started calling me "Mo", and it's stuck with me since.

* Whenever my friend and I hear about someone working on or doing something for a really long time, the other one just brings up "[[BeyondTheImpossible 900 hours.]]" That's how long I've played DissidiaFinalFantasy. * This tropers school has developed their own memes. Some notable ones: --> Sausages! and Meanie-Weenie Sausage --> BRAZOS --> Teacher nicknames: Craigory, Allililison, Allysone, Momo --> Saying FLAIL! or (emotion) FLAIL! while flailing. * I have a few of these in my fanfics. I've actually used some as [[ShoutOut shout-outs]] on several occasions: ** [[YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries "Holy ** on a ** sandwich!"]] ** [[MenInBlack "Do you have any idea how much that stings?"]] *** There's also some memes that my family has: **** "Winner winner, dicken chinner!" **** "I'm gonna kill your neck!" (something I said when I was about two). **** "Dees ees Peggy, please hold," (from the commercials. Mom occasionally uses this one at work). **** "I will ''not'' be understood! [[LargeHam UNDERSTAND]]?!" *** And some personal ones: **** "Did you know I have a [[KnifeNut knife fetish]]?" **** "[[YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries Screw the cookies!]] [[PerverseSexualLust I have]] [[DracoInLeatherPants bishounen!]]" (based on the joke concerning joining TheDarkSide). * This troper has the honor of starting his highschool's first ever Dungeons and Dragons group. Between a melodramatic, consumate-liar GM; an [[strike: often]] ''perpetually'' drunk high elf water shugenja (think elemental, Japanese cleric); an archer-spec'd human ranger played by a neophyte mangaka (who sometimes takes inspiration for a strip or two from our games); and me, a CrazyPrepared half-elf artificer, weeeeird things happen. Just a few examples so far: ** "Are you idiots STUPID!?" (Said by the GM when the elf and I accidentally tried to open the same door from opposite sides at the same time) ** "There's a wand/scroll/potion for that." (Said by me personally on several occasions, now my official CatchPhrase) ** "Hurry! [[LogicBomb Their numbers are more limitless than ours!]]" (Said by frenzied NPC commander during a battle between two undead armies) ** "Great. The drunk elf's got a lazer now..." (Said by the ranger when the elf's artifact mug is revealed to have a Gate on the bottom that can connect to the Elemental plane of fire, thus giving him a magma cannon that looks suspiciously like a lazer. Doesn't work very often, as sometimes he drains the whole magma resevoir) * That's so gay it makes {{Hetalia}} look straight * I hang out with my brother's college friends a lot, and they're massive geeks. Just don't mention [[Discontinuity certain things]] around them. One of them will loudly proclaim, "THERE WAS NO (Insert Discontinuity item here)!" Common examples of things they've put into

Discontinuity are MaskedRider, and the Tsubasa anime. In fact, nowadays, they only refer to MaskedRider as "M.R." or "The PowerRangers Spinoff that Must Not Be Named." * This troper and her friends have a couple weird ones: ** Whenever some one isn't listening this troper shouts "Listen to my Risdom!!!" due to misspeaking once. ** This troper and her friend accuse another friend of being a terrorist. ** This troper's friend thinks of himself as being so awesome that he's Chuck Jesus, and controls the weather. ** "Disc, disc" Said whenever someone messes up, due to a {{Tron}} obsession. * This troper has some that show up in her fanfics, (most of them being personal FanNicknames): ** 'Bastard-sama, professional [[{{Badass}} ass-kicker]]! ** "She had a [[KnifeNut knife fetish]]," "[[PingPongNaivete What's a fetish?]]" ** Once we figure out how to DivideByZero, we'll know the [[ShrugOfGod answer]] to [[SoulEater Chrona's]] [[AmbiguousGender gender]]! ** If X and Y had a baby, and that baby was related to Z, ''you'' would be their baby! ** Any mention of the "Crazy Cussing Blood Muppet" ** Quoting ''YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries'': "It's official, you're an idiot!" (Don't know why, but it stuck). ** [[HighPressureBlood Explosive]] {{Nosebleed}}! It's a Nosesplosion!! ** @/RobinZimm was at an event where RichardDawkins was speaking. During the Q&A after the event, one of the people at the mike prefaced their question with, "I'd like to thank you on behalf of the Internets for memes." He handled it pretty well. * I have tendency to say random stuff on video games. For example, I was playeing Resident Evil 5 co-op campaign chapter 1-1 over the internet with one of my friends. Everytime I'd land a headshot in that chapter, I would BOOM HEADSHOT! Regardless, I shot about 45 headshots, and the rest of my 67 kills here normal kills. At first my partner thought it was funny, but when we were at the final part, he couldn't take it, but I keep on doing it. And when I'm Chris and I hit someone (forgot the name of the move) or do a haymaker, I scream "FALCON PWNCH!"and when I'm Wesker and I hit an enemy over the face I say "BITCH SLAP SURPEREME!" It sorta just goes on from their. * [[NARFNra This troper]] and his friends have a few. ** "GUESS IT'S TIME TO DEFAULT TO POLAND-" - Used as part of a derivative meme that used to be inserting Poland into random sentences. ** SOMBRERO TIME ** I have been... ''OUTGAMBITED'' ** BURNING cars. - Said to be the greatest weapon in a monster movie. ** YOU JUST FALID (sic) - Based off a spelling error in Megaman 6. ** BLACK MARY POPPINS - Based off a video on the internet of the chimneysweep scene set to "Get Low" ** THE DOCTOR PEPPER IS IN THE --- - Refers to the presence of this troper

** STASH IT IN HIS COAT - ...One of my coats has gained a reputation as a bag of holding around the school ** Recently, they have also acquired SHIT. LET'S BE LASER TECHNICIANS(based on {{Homestuck}} and a job test they took) and GO BUILD SOME CABINETS(Cabinet maker was recommended to one of the friends :P) * This troper has: ** There may or may not be a fifty percent chance (in response to any question that nobody can agree on.) ** How come you get a donkey for free? (it originated from my friend losing terribly in soccer and saying that his team got their asses handed to them.) ** I love rain, it's absolutely dismal. ([[HilariousInHindsight And after about a month, I met a]] cute [[EmoTeen emo girl]] named Rain by mere coincidence.) * [[Tropers/ThymeWho This Troper]] and her brothers now have a series of memes, spawned from their Hetalia roleplays and other things. Some examples: ** "[[LargeHam THIS IS WHY]] [[PoliticallyIncorrectHero WOMEN SHOULD NEVER HAVE SWORDS]]" (by a hilariously sexist Prussia) ** Canada: "[[WhoIsThisGuyAgain Aren't you forgetting someone?]]" followed by America's: *blank stare* "Oh yeah! [[CompletelyMissingThePoint Switzerland!]]" ** The Flying Mint Bunny KILLED MY PHONE! ** I will kill you. With a rusty spoon/stick. ** And then I used my Pokemans. ** Mr. Happy isn't always happy. He is really suffering from depression. All he wants to do is sigh and frown, but your cruelty won't let him. So there he is. [[StepfordSmiler Smiling on the outside, screaming on the inside]]. ** Any and every reference to Fernando. Fernando was Christopher Columbus' best friend, he was in world War I and II, and he was everywhere in history. (Created when my brother had to write a short story about one of Columbus' crew. Me and my other brother named the protagonist Fernando, and proceeded to reference him every time someone talked about an event in history. ** GET HIM/HER OUT OF MY COURTROOM. [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch Bitch.]] (Another Prussia quote. Just... just don't ask.) ** SCREW THIS. YOU ALL DID IT. (Prussia, again.) ** PRUSSIA ALWAYS TALKS IN CAPS, BITCH! ** "Oh darling, blah blah blah blah. Muchacha." "I though you were French." "Looks can be deceiving." ** "[[TheLegendOfZelda Hey! Listen! Hey! Listen]]!" and "[[KingsQuestV Is it a POOOOOOOOIIIISIOUS X?]]" * This Troper's game group is developing these by the session, all relating to the characters or the annoying tendencies of some players. Here are a few: ** Zornista: the only [[{{Warhammer40000}} Imperial Commissar]] who cares how your life's going. (From a DarkHeresy game; the girl who played the Commissar gave her the interesting habit of walking up to people and asking them "so, how's life?" and an AMotherToHerMen

characterization.) ** [[BrokenBird Vyra]] [[ImHavingSoulPains has a headache]]. [[BeyondTheImpossible All the time.]] (Another character from the DarkHeresy game, this one a BadassAdorable [[PsychicPowers psyker]] who had a constant headache.) ** [[AcePilot Lilarith]] is [[MassEffect Miranda]]. (The GM of the DarkHeresy game based the Eldar pilot, Lilarith, on Miranda Lawson. And she was ''awesome''.) ** "Shut up <player whose character is dead>, you're dead." (ItMakesSenseInContext. Started during the Scion game; one player's character was dead, but the player would. Not. Shut. Up.) ** [[TokenEvilTeammate CC]] gets a [[StarWars Dark Side point]]. Again. (CC was a character in our game of the Star Wars Roleplaying Game. She started with three Dark Side points and was on the fast track to becoming a CompleteMonster.) ** "Of course your {{Shadowrun}} character is overpowered! HE PUNCHED OUT FOUR TRIADS! [[BadAss WITH HIS BARE HANDS!]] ''[[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking IN AN ELEVATOR!]]''" (Yes, this happened. To date, the only damage the character has taken has been from falling off of a building. The GM seems to still be out for his blood.) ** "It rolled a 2 versus Recall Death." (How an unfortunate sand dragon met its end in the first round of combat.) * Oh, the memes. ** [[TeamFortress2 Sniper? Sniper? Sniper? SNIPER. Sniiiiiippppeeerrrrrrrrrrrr? SNOIPER?]] ** [[MetalGearSolid Because Snake/Meryl]] [[AntiGoggles is CANON!!!]] Taken from ThisVeryWiki. All of my friends who like MGS are Snake/Otacon fans. ** [[AceAttorney Yelling Manfred Von Karma's]] [[HellIsThatNoise OBJECTION!]] in the deepest, creepiest voice possible. ** Calling antidepressants "happy cabbage." ** A very EEEEVVVILLL [x]! Related: TO TAKE OVER THE WOOOORRRRLLLDDD! ** Calling Ulquiorra of {{Bleach}}'s Hollow mask "the kickstand." ** [[YuGiOh Seto? Seto? Seto? Seto? Nii-san? Nii-san? Nii-san? Niisan?]] [[RuleOfThree Nii-chan? Nii-chan? Nii-chan? Nii-chan?]] [[OverlyLongGag Seahorse? Seahorse? Seahorse? Seahorse? Seto? Seto? SEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHOOOORRRSSSEEEE.]] ** [[LordOfTheRings "What do you smell?"]] [[StarTrek "Man-slut."]] ** Calling my fiance [[AxisPowersHetalia "Doitsu"]] whenever he acts like Germany (which is surprisingly often). ** Oh my God, he has CHICKENS in here! Chickens chickens chickens! Oh and he's a vampire. (From an MSTing of Son of Dracula.) ** The Mexican "Shut Up" Dance. ** "Where is French?" ** [[TeamFortress2 "He gave me his heart for SCIENCE!"]] ** [[TheOddCouple "Thank you, Alan." "You're my eyes, Gloria." "Lamp..table...Oscar..." "I'm not ''speaking'' to [celebrity]." "How's your cigar ash?" "I don't like Pits Pits Pits in my Juice Juice Juice."]] ** From our MutantsAndMasterminds game: *** The Bonus Boss Nazi Boy Band. *** Yelling "NEEEIIIINNNNNNNNN" whenever nine is rolled.

*** [[EvenTheGuysWantHim Everybody is gay for Hans.]] *** Those two Nazi troopers upon which everything thrown or dropped lands. *** The character of a chronic absentee is always off having tea with WinstonChurchill. *** Bomb soccer. * Me and my friends were playing Bible Adventures (the AngryVideoGameNerd reviewed it, look it up) and we invented two memes: ** JUMP OVAH THE LION ** PM (Pixelated mess, our name for the box thingy that you use to knock out the animals on Noah's Ark) ** My other friend and I invented a meme where we would imagine if the nerds' and jocks' roles were switched. * [[Tropers/{{ameliette}} This troper]] caused one between her and her friends when she screamed "It pulled [[StarWars Skywalker's]]!" Reason? My Anakin Skywalker -figurine fell inside my shirt. "Pulling Anakins" was our favorite exclamation for quite some time. Applicable to everything: chips, candy, any small ocjects. * This troper and her friend will suddenly go [[{{Homestuck}} "shit, let's be Gamzee"]] whenever we start talking like him. This happens pretty often. ** Zalgon: Fly around in the sky like a moron. *** "WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" ** How in the world did you manage to mistake a mallet for a hammer you silly? They are absolutely nothing alike! ** "X needs to die in a fire!" Will sometimes be accompanied by "I don't care if it's not possible, it still needs to happen!" ** And suddenly I ship this. (Basicly what gets uttered when someone starts supporting a pairing unexpectedly) ** "Yougothisusername! Yougothisusername! Yougothisusername!" *** *faints* ** "I can't help it! I have [[{{PerverseSexualLust}} strange tastes in fictional men]]!" ** [[{{Pokemon}} Completely devastated by Shadow Force!]] But this is not a favorable match-up. ** Your patron troll is very fancy! While mine.........eats chalk. ** I'm gorgeous! *** *James drools* ** I'm cured, Ron! ** THE [[TwilightPrincess MASTER SWORD]] IS NOT A LAWN MOWER! * Soon before this troper's winter choir concert, we were picking out Christmas-themed songs to perform. Our teacher wanted us to do "Throw the Yule Log on Uncle John" by PDQ Bach, but we wanted none of it, so, to make it a bit more fun to sing, some kids started theorizing that the titular Uncle John was a pedophile. The lines "When will you come to Uncle John?" and ''especially'' "Put the pickle down, Uncle John!" were repeated long after the concert was over in support of this theory, until we weren't even sure ''why'' we were saying them, but hey, they were funny! * At school, they ''actually played'' [[StreetFighter Guile's theme]] for the Student channel, at a school that seems to know little about memes in general.

* "[[ScrewTheRulesIHaveMoney Screw the]] [[BreakingTheFourthWall fourth wall!]] I [[RageAgainstTheAuthor think the author sucks!]]" ** "Whoa...[[ShrinkingViolet that guy]] [[CrazyAwesome just kicked]] [[TheDragon that other dude]]'s ass! He's like topping ChuckNorris!" ** "*[insert absurd/controversial/[[DeadpanSnarker snarky]] comment here]*? Blasphemy! Madness! [[{{ThreeHundred}} SPA]][[ThisIsSPARTA RTA!]] * This troper's school production of [[LesMiserables Les Miserables]] recently gave rise to [[FunnyMoments "Fem!Javert and the Barricade Boys present: Don't Stop Believin'"]] and variations of it. * [[FunnyMoments For some reason]] this troper is physically incapable of hearing the word "surge" without asking "[[TheSpoonyExperiment Who the fuck is]] [[TNAimpact Serge?]]" * [[StongRadd My]] friend constantly says "{{Yaoi}}" just to get on my nerves. I immediately mention my shadow form just to make sure he stops. * Multiple ones on my list, including: ** Cracked-out seagulls! ** Fifty-foot-tall-radioactive-Hitler did it. ** [[AkiraFilm HAAAAAAAAMIIIIIIIIIILLLTOOOON!! JEFFEEEEEEERRRRSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOON!!!]] ** I DON'T EVEN* "Well, derp!"I say this when somebody says something stupid. * This troper and her friends have several, including some that have died out. There are too many to list, but these are some of the most notable: ** "Lughing" being used in place of "laughing". ** My friend being nicknamed "Jenny!" with the ! making it pronounced as "Jennay". This one has died a bit. ** "Neh." "Neh!" "NEEEEEEEEEEEH." ** [[CatchPhrase "Yeah, bitches!"]] ** "I always thought you had, like, 8 siblings, Jenny!." This one died after she raged at me about it in a Facebook chat and logged off. ** "FNFUNDFNFZIG!". Has died. ** "Have you ever eaten a sandwich THIS BIG???", accompanied by arms being held out. Grew into "Have you ever Xed a Y THIS BIG???" and then died. * Stupid movie lines sometimes beome this for me and my sister. The one that comes to mind right now is [[TheAdventuresofSharkboyandLavagirl "Dreams can destroy you can't they? My instincts tell me it is so."]] Dreams and instincts are sometimes substituted with something else. * My brother came up with this: RAINBOW CHOCOLATE-Y BOYYYYYYYYY!!!! * This Troper was once listening to The Four Horsemen by Metallica with a few friends, and when Pestilence (who is constantly on her fridge; it's a long story) was mentioned, she attempted to say "Woo, Pestilence!" However, it came out as "Woo, Pelestience!" This is now a meme amongst her friends; whenever disease is mentioned, someone will invariably say "Woo, Pelestience!" * [[Tropers/{{Claystripe6514}} This troper's]] swim team has [[RomeoAndJuliet "Fetch me my longsword, ho!"]] said in an

appropriately epic voice. * Me and my friends have a lot of these.. ** "Juliet, Juliet. Where the [[PrecisionFStrike fuck]] you be at? Make me a sandwitch, hoe. [[GratuitousSpanish Gracias, por favor. Tengo un lapiz."]] ** I EAT THEM GRAPES. I EAT THEM GOOD. 'CUZ THEY TASTE SO YUMMY WHEN THEY SITTIN' IN MY TUMMY, THEY ARE GRAPES. AND THEY BE PURPLE. AND THEY ARE [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment SPHERICAL SPHERES, SPHERICAL SPHERES.]] ** Singlederichment. ** "[Insert friend] [[YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries is hot, that's why the women want her!"]] ** [[HetaliaAxisPowers VODKAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!]] ** [[YaoiFangirl "The yayohee gave me nossbleds!"]] ** WELL THEN. ** [[{{Squick}} Boob Napkins.]] ** [[{{Nosebleed}} NOSE-SPLOSION!]] ** [[PerverseSexualLust Anime Boyfriends.]] ** [[{{Bleach}} NOT THE GIN GRIN!!]] ** Space aliens. *** I actually have an explanation for this one- My Health teacher one day spontaneously announced that our sense of personal space would be closer with "Your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your.. Space alien.." ** "What are you looking at? Ohh, secret stuff.." ** I BOUGHT IT WITH [friend]'S MONEY! ---[[MemeticMutation This is a really cool page, and there ain't even any werewolves!]] * MemeticMutation [[{{Futurama}} DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!]] ----

MemeticOutfit * In middle school, I once wore my hair in one pigtail at one of the sides. Even though I rarely wore my hair this way again, any of my classmates aksed me about it all the time and asked me why I didn't wear my hair that way again.(Today, I wear it more often.) * As a person who wears hoodies constantly, I have (or had, it's since been retired) a brown hoodie with obnoxious turquoise polka dots on it that I wore nearly every day at college. My roommate made me promise never to get rid of it, because she can't even recognize me without it. On a lesser note, I also own a bright blue one that reads "Cheer Up Emo Kid" that people I don't even know recognize me wearing. * Another hoodie person. During the three years I went to middle school, I wore one ''everywhere'', all day every day, because I "didn't feel right" without it. At the end of each year my current hoodie became too worn-down to use anymore, at which point I had to buy a new one. This habit of mine spawned a MemeticMutation among my classmates, where they would acted shocked on the rare occasions that I took off the signature article of clothing. * Yet another hoodie person; the previous one was red and frequently worn for at least three out of four high school years, plus a year or

two after that for painting. The current preference is purple and probably won't change if I can help it. Still looking for a NiceHat though. * I own a few hats. On one of the first weeks of school I wore a few different ones throughout the week, and one day someone commented that I wear a different hat every day. Pretty soon everyone in my classes knew me as "the one who wears a new hat every single day." In order to keep everyone pleased I managed to go the whole semester without wearing the same hat twice. * I bought this red dress early on in my freshman year of high school. I first wore it for the first day of a new semester, rather chastely, with black leggings and a white undershirt to cover up the ample cleavage it showed, and it became recognizable. I didn't wear it again until spirit week in my sophomore year Valentine's Day, which made the yearbook. Junior year, I wore it for Spirit week color wars, by this point, I abandoned the leggings (but not the cleavage). And finally, in my senior year, I was asked to participate in a {{Seven Deadly Sins}} group for Spirit Week as {{Lust}}. And because I was the cool sin, I abandoned the leggings and undershirt and donned red lipstick and wild curls and because known by ''everyone'' as the {{lady in red}}. Pictures of me holding a felt-made heart reading "lust" have surfaced online... * [[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Tropers/Squidage This troper]] had this happen to her when her first Homecoming dance came. I'm the type who's a tomboy and doesn't care what she looks like. I wore my hair in huge curls and a blood-red dress with black pumps. I usually just wear t-shirts and jeans. People stared and boys actually approached me that night. * This troper's high school science teacher was usually extremely boring in his choice of clothes. Then he decided to "work out" (walk on the treadmill) at lunch hour every day. Accompanying this decision was an outfit that consisted of a green striped sweater, bright red shoes, hiked-up socks, and bright orange bermuda shorts with a horrible triangle pattern. It quickly became very famous. * For the second semester of my junior year and the first of my senior year, I made a sign with a different quote on it every day, and wore it taped to my shirt. I became well known as "the sign guy", to the extent that I have met people who I did not know in high school, and they did not know my name or face, but when I tell them that I was the guy with the signs, they instantly remember. * A kid at my camp, known mainly as "TheManShow Boy" for his resemblance to the character, became known for wearing a baseball hat all summer and then ceremoniously destroying it in the most gratuitous was possible--[[CloudCuckooLander amongst ot]][[MemeticBadass her things]]. * This Troper is known WELL for her mildly insane style of dress. However, I've had a couple of outfits I wore to school that people automatically associate with me, and, when describing them, can get her recognized without saying her name (to people she doesn't know, too.) ** A plain suitjacke and pants, worn with a white silk undershirt and black and white six inch heels. This lead to, the day after she wore

it to school, people looking for "the suit girl." *** A long, vinyl Victorian skirt, a lace-and-vinyl top, a white silk corset and a vinyl, puff-sleeved coverup. I've worn it a couple of times, and it's known as "my" outfit. **** A schoolgirl outfit and pigtails I wore for... some reason has become recognizable amongst most of my friends. I think it was the fact that I got in trouble for it and managed to win the argument with my principal. * This tropette, who is an active participant in her school's Humans vs. Zombies games, often shows up to games wearing a white shirt, dark pants, and a red tie. Her zombie-phile friends have a good reason to call her "Shauna Louise." * Everyone seems to remember that ridiculous(ly awesome, though [[YourMileageMayVary my mileage definitely may vary]]) dress I wore for picture day that one time... * This troper wore a pinstripe Yankees hat for eleven years, never washing the thing. By the time he retired it in the summer before he started 12th grade, two thirds of the hat part had disintegrated away and the hat was [[http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c219/Chessrook44/MyHat.jpg little more than framework with parts literally held on with scotch tape]]. When I retired it, I mounted it in a shadow box, got a deep navy blue Yankees hat, and have been wearing it since then. Currently it's at almost 6 years old and just starting to show tears in the back. Anyone who knows me knows of THE HAT. And anyone who knows of THE HAT knows exactly who this troper is.

MemoryGambit * [[{{Tropers/MHD}} This Troper]]'s good friend and fellow role player pulled one of these off in [[VampireTheMasquerade Vampire: the Masquerade]] elder campaign, erasing the memories of everyone except the groups resident [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} Malkavian]] and himself, a [[BeastMan Gangrel]] who both for obvious reason are impossible to mind probe.

MenBuyFromMarsWomenBuyFromVenus * When [[Tropers/HersheleOstropoler this troper]] was a copywriter, assigned a ''LandBeforeTime'' video, he was instructed to avoid the word "dinosaur," apparently so has not to frighten off (parents of) little girls. ** This female troper used to love dinosaurs as a child the land before time series used to be her favorite she could get enough of dinosaurs (after she got over the initial scariness of jurassic park) * More an example of shopping habits than advertising strategies, but it may explain why women seem to have so many shoes-I (a penniless college student being graciously supported by his generous parents) needed new shoes, and, since it was the middle of winter under two feet of snow at the time, my mother and I opted to use the magic of the interblag to purchase them. We shop around, find a pair that looks promising, and place our order. Then Mom decides to keep looking for

shoes. "Why?" I ask, "We just bought me a pair." To which my mother responded, "You're such a guy." * Every teen drama ever invokes this trope. There's always a guy who is a typical guy, maybe a little bit more hard luck than most, and a good girl who wants to change him. No matter what, he won't call her on her crap. ---Return to MenBuyFromMarsWomenBuyFromVenus.

MentorShip * Ares. Xena. That is all. * For [[LucidSeraph This Troper]], [[DivineComedy Dante and Virgil]]. This is NOT helped by a recent stage production [[LucidSeraph this troper's]] mother is working on, where Dante and Virgil are played by handsome young Italian men. * One of my friends identified this between JD and Dr Cox on ''{{Scrubs}}''. I told her to cut it out, because at the time I found it detrimental to my enjoyment of the show. ** Fer gosh sakes, when JD put his arm around Dr. Cox he thought "Oh my God, is this what heaven feels like * As of Season 2, this troper is officially Like That about Don and Peggy on ''MadMen''... having cringed at the very idea through most of Season 1. Damn, this show is good.

MercyInvincibility * This troper played a game in which you get mercy invincibility for a second every time you're hit. By the end of the game you can easily finish a level with 30 HP left. As such, in the last thirty seconds, you can just go on the all-out offensive because you can't take damage fast enough to lose. * This lurker's karate experiences offer a variation: In ''kumite'' (sparring), whenever a possible point is called, the combatants need to retriet to the opposite ends of the training area. It's MercyInvincibility, because often you'll need that few seconds before the continuation call to recover your rythm and state of mind after a direct hit, e.g. get your balance back after a harsh knee-block. ---Don't worry about bumping into anything on your way back to MercyInvincibility--you'll be fine!

Metagame * [[chihuahua0 This Troper]] used the metagame of Rock, Paper, Sissors during a guessing hat contest on {{Roblox}}. I persume that the chooser was male, so he would have thought rock at first. But then he would consider everyone choosing paper, so he then does sissors instead. I guess sissors as my answer: It worked, and I got a hat for my Robloxian, er, avatar. * This Troper when playing Tremulous (an alien vs. human FPS with base-building) has spent a great deal of time developing patterns for

turrets to specifically counter the way the school gaming club plays. With aliens aware they are unable to attack the human base now, they switch to waiting tactics to enable them to gain points for merely existing in order to evolve to more powerful forms to overwhelm humans in rushes. The counter developed to this is a rush of chainsaw-like weapons which kill alien structures quick enough to eliminate all spawns, and ability to build spawns. The ultimate culmination being a match where the construction of turrets was foregone, and humans rushed, winning the match in under 3 minutes. * [[RagnaThePig This Troper]] and his friend have played so many Soul Calibur games with the same characters every single time (Ivy for me, Siegfried for my friend) that we now instinctively listen to each other's finger movements on our controllers to guess what technique we are about to do (mainly to avoid throws because we mapped them to the shoulder buttons which can become quite noisy in the middle of a fight). * During a Texas Hold'em tournament this troper drew pocket fours off the deal. He called a small raise and hit three of a kind on the flop. Two players checked, then the player immediately to the troper's right led out with a reasonable bet. The troper, knowing what kind of tells a regular poker player looks for from a new opponent, raised all in the instant the other player's chips hit the table. The other player proceded to analyze the troper's raise and body language before deciding the troper was bluffing and made the call. The three-of-akind stood against a pair of kings. * This troper practically invented two important sets in the Pokmon metagame: Substitute/Pain Split/Shadow Ball/Focus Blast Life Orb Gengar and Giga Impact/Earthquake/Fire Punch/Shadow Claw Choice Band Slaking.

Metaphorgotten * This troper has a habit of making crazy metaphors in order to win arguments, but it's turned on her a few times... * I like my coffee like I like my fellow tropers: lone, pathetic, virginal and [[ADarkerMe lying all the time]]. * I like my men/women like I like my coffee: raped, dismembered and good at sucking me off-- oh, wait. * "I like this park because it's silent, sterile... if it was also experienced it would be like the man of my life". * My sis used this to explain me about her sexuality. "I love coffee, but I realized tea isn't all that bad... Don't get me wrong, I still preffer coffee... especially if it's very hot and very [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean hard]]" I replied "When you get bored with tea, give it to me" and she said "I thought you were more into the teabagging part, but whatever". * "You see guys, famiy are like, uh... Whales! Yeah whales because without family you're a whale in the desert, and that's bad because you will die from heat exposure but with family you'll be carried back to the ocean, which is good, because you can play with the rest of oyur whae family!" * I've been told "Arguing with you is like playing chess against

myself, with a chessboard that bites you when it doesn't agree with you and then laughs". I thought he was going to say "Even if you win you still wasted your time" or something along those lines, but this is much better. ** I once took a page out of your book and took this even further with something to the effect of: Arguing with you is much like playing chess with myself, using pieces that bite my hand when they don't agree and then laugh. Even if I win, I've still wasted my time and I now have a bloody, possibly infected stump where my hand used to be. * While very tired, this troper once referred to a particular WalMart as "the soul-sucking pit of... [[BuffySpeak soul-suckiness]]!" ** [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment Awesome]]. * This editor was having a conversation with a housemate, who offered "I like my women like I like my carrots..." very ''long pause'' "...in a plastic bag from a supermarket!" He was very drunk. ** Point of interest: The following examples have been copied to the ILikeMyXLikeILikeMyY TroperTales page. If you have another one, please put it there. ** "I like my coffee hot and strong. Like I like my women, hot and strong. With a spoon in them." *** "I like my women like I like my coffee - ''in a paper cup''!" **** Said by a drunk guy in a Starbucks, "I like my women like I like my coffee.....tall, black, and good at giving blow jobs." ***** My reply when the black cashier started to hyperventilate, "I prefer it when they're tall, black, and about to kick your ass." **** "Covered in ''[[TheColbertReport BEES!]]''" ***** [[EddieIzzard Wrong]] [[BeamMeUpScotty one.]] ** This Troper's favorite version of this joke comes from Stella: "I like my coffee how I like my women: strong, black, and proud." ** Five separate levels of the "women/[coffee]" metaphor, increasing in {{Metaphorgotten}}: starting at 1 ("I like my women like I like my coffee...strong, dark, and hot as hell") and going to...uh...5 ("I like my women like I like my snow...strong, dark, and hot as hell"). *** You mean it doesn't [[UpToEleven go to 11]]? ** I like my women like I like my whiskey: twelve years old and mixed up with Coke. *** That's ''horrible!''. . . who mixes twelve-year-old whiskey with coke!? **** ''Nonononoyoudon'tunderstandwhathemeantwas'' oh I see what you did there... ** This troper was witness to an exchange between [[EmoTeen a bitter, withdrawn philosophy major]] and his Ex in which he commented that his life was like his coffee (presumed to mean cold and dark). Only his Ex pointed out that he took his coffee with lots of cream and sugar. ** ThisTroper likes his coffee cold, milky, and with lots of whipped cream... ** This troper doesn't really like coffee. Or tea. cripes, that doesn't leave much does it? *** This troper doesn't like coffee either, but she does like a good chai tea latte. So...I like my men smooth, creamy, and hot...? *** [[Tropers/KatanaCat This 13 year old Troper]] isn't allowed to have coffee, and doesn't really care for most tea. She does, however,

like orange juice. So, I like my guys cool, in a yellow-checked glass, and tasting of oranges? ** [[LeyomiTheParodier This troper]] likes her coffee like she likes her... well, she doesn't drink coffee, she drinks tea. So let's assume for the sake of argument that the tea is made of coffee--but then it isn't tea at all, it's just coffee, so it's like the [[SherlockHolmes blue carbuncle]] that's actually made of diamond... so this troper likes her coffeetea to be hard, impossible, and poorly named. Which is how she likes her men, but she shouldn't like men, she should like teenage guys, because men are generally at least a decade older than her and that could lead to some legal complications since she's only fourteen. So her men would have to be just acting like they were men. Since she likes men. Hard, impossible, poorly-named men. Wait, that sounds like Edward Cullen and his [[OurVampiresAreDifferent vampire stone skin!]] [[OhCrap NOT WHAT I MEANT!]] Okay, Let's try this again. This troper actually likes her men to be [[SherlockHolmes tall, skinny, and not interested in love.]] Ergo, she likes her coffee like she likes her men: Celibate. [[OverlyLongGag But then again, it's more fun when they aren't celibate so she would actually be liking her coffee to be...]] ** A female friend of this troper brought this to quite possibly it's most crude levels "I like my men like I like my coffee, Tall, Strong and full of cream" ** This troper likes his women like he likes his coffee: [[NotThatTheresAnythingWrongWithThat he drinks Iced Tea]]. ** From the webcomic Toothpaste for Dinner: "I like my coffee how I like my women...autistic." ** ''This'' troper is reminded of this passage from Chapter 1 of the ''NeonGenesisEvangelion'' FanFic ''Evangelion Unplugged'' by Renegade, which subverts the whole "how I like my coffee" subtrope: --->"Okay," Ritsuko said, turning around. "MAGI! Coffee, black, twelve sugars!" There was a whir, the sound of gears grinding and engines thrumming, and soon a little trapdoor on the workstation opened and a paper cup filled with coffee ascended from the depths of the MAGI's operating system.\\ "Neat," commented Shinji.\\ "Technology of God in action," agreed Ritsuko, sipping her coffee. "Ah. I like my coffee like I like my men."\\ "What... hot, strong and sweet?" Misato winked knowingly.\\ Ritsuko frowned. "No. Ground into powder and liquefied."\\ "Oh," Misato said carefully. ** This troper usually uses the line: I like my women how I like my coffee. Drunk. ** Actually the classic line, a pickup line at that, is along the lines of "I like my woman, like I like my coffee, strong, dark, sweet and keeping me up all, night, long!", this troper tried that line. It doesn't work. Often. ** This troper likes her men like she likes her marshmallows: [[{{Ghostbusters}} fifty feet tall and rampaging through New York.]] *** Alternatively: this troper likes her men like she likes her coffee: five minutes late, with a pretentious name, and brought in by a temp with a [=PhD=] making minimum wage. Fandom Wank has a lot of

these, if you know where to look. **** For those who don't, [[http://www.journalfen.net/community/i_wank/63645.html?thread=2276765 # t2276765 here]]. **** [[{{Heatherly}} This troper]] likes her men like she likes her cereal: sweet, mushy and easy to swallow. ** This troper's friend from high school once joked that he "likes my coffee the way I like my man: Gay!". *** A friend of another troper once said "I take my men like my corpses. Through the back door." ** This troper likes her men like she likes her coffee: rich, warm, and very, very sweet. ** This troper's friend once caused listeners to hyperventilate after exclaiming, "I like my women like I like my coffee: ground up and stored in the freezer." ** Lee's take on this in ''NotGoingOut'': 'I like my coffee like I like my women: strong, dark, from the corner of the street and I'm not willing to pay more than 2.50'. ** "I like my women like I like my wine: twelve years old." *** ... don't forget the second part, "and mixed up with coke."[[VisibleSilence ...]] **** Who the hell mixes wine with coke? ** [[EranofArcadia This troper]] doesn't drink coffee, but it turns out I like my women like I like my hot chocolate: hot, thick, and light brown. Okay, that is reaching. *** This troper has also told people she had a mind like a blotter: I absorb everything, but get it all backwards. *** And told other people they have minds like steel traps: rusted shut. ** Judging from the above examples, it appears that many Tropers have minds like steel traps: dangerous, illegal and likely to cause infection. ** Back to the coffee metaphor, [[CodeMan38 this troper]] is seriously surprised that nobody's mentioned liking their coffee [[{{Meganekko}} in glasses]]... *** This troper has never actually seen or heard of anyone who drank their coffee from a glass rather than either a mug/thermos or the paper cup you get it in when you buy it. **** Many people in Central and Eastern Europe still drink coffee in a glass (which usually looks like a small glass mug), at least at home. Actually, this troper used to work at a cafe and once a customer (an old timer, so he's justified) just couldn't understand that we serve coffee in cups and demanded a glass of coffee. He ended up with an americano and an apology, because "yesterday our new employee broke all the glasses". This story probably belongs on Clientcopia... **** Ice coffee? **** What about [[NinjaPirateZombieRobot a mug made of glass?]] I actually have one of those. ** I don't drink coffee, and I'm single. Coincidence? I think not! *** Ah, so that's what I've been doing wrong! ** Coffee doesn't work -- at least, not in the standard way -- on this troper, because she has [[AttentionDeficitOohShiny ADHD]] and

stimulants essentially cancel it out rather than providing an energy boost. She is also [[{{Asexuality}} asexual]]. ** [[{{Momonga}} This troper]] once murmured thoughtfully "I like my men like I like my coffee... gingerbread-flavoured." Luckily for her {{Love Interest}}, she was joking. ** This troper once said "I like my coffee strong, sweet and freshly made." There was a pause, and then: "Don't draw any conclusions from that statement." ** A comedian, whose name escapes this troper, once quipped in a standup routine, "I like my coffee like I like my women - bitter. *** In Blizzard's World of Warcraft MMORPG, one of the Dwarf male "sillies" (jokes, randomly chosen with the /silly command) is "I like my beer...like I like my women. Stout and bitter." ** "I treat women the same way I make a cup of coffee... I fill them with roofies and semen." ** A game known as "dirty minds" takes this to its logical extreme. Name a common household object, and say "I like my women like I like my [object], [witty remark]. Once, the group playing was stumped at light bulb, and I thought to myself "Turned on by 40 watts of electricity," or something similar *** Screwed into the ceiling? *** Off the top of his head, this troper can think of "radiant", "wired", "hooked up to high power", "having a low resistance", "burnt out", and "turned on at the flip of a switch". *** Hot, bright, and easy to replace? ** One user-made [[http://www.monkeydyne.com/rmcs/dbcomic.phtml?rowid=545 Red Meat]] strip goes even further than that. ** I'd just like to point out that in the American Navy, the slang for coffee with cream and sugar "sweet and blonde," in other words, a sailor could like both his women and his coffee to be "Hot blonde and extra sweet"... and it would make sense! ** [[NielJacoby This Troper]] likes his coffee like he likes his men: nonexistent, [[HaveIMentionedIAmHeterosexualToday he's not attracted to men. Or coffee.]] He does like his soda like he likes his women: with big tits and a great sense of humor. If only I could meet someone like that. *** [[SidetrackedByTheAnalogy Your soda has tits and a sense of humor?]] ** I like my coffee like I like women: in the kitchen, making me cofee. Wait, that's not right... I would eventually tire of coffee and want something else. * And another example of taking the metaphor too literally: [[{{Momonga}} this troper]], upon hearing that someone had [[{{If You Know What I Mean}} been around the block a few times]], wanted elaboration. "Is each round of the block one person? How many people are in each block?" ** Then, the next day, while discussing an e-mail sent to someone who hadn't replied: "Well, the ball was in their court, and they dropped it. If it gets all soggy and messed up from being left out in the rain, it's their fault." * Life is like a box of choclates, only one third of the stuff in it

is going to be stuff you like. ** It also tends to go stale after a few months. The simple things are the best ones but usually they get buried under the fancy stuff with all the nuts and things. Or it just gives you a heart attack. [okay this is really reaching now-] *** [[spoiler: You know, technically that statement's a simile, not a metaphor [/smartass remark] ]] * "Trust me, me and [friend's name] are closer than a close thing." * This troper stretches metaphors (typically other peoples) beyond breaking point enough that some have mistaken it for a hobby of his. That he's literal minded as well only serves to add to this. Similes, on the other hand, are like dandelions in their prettiness and indestructibleness, since they're not saying that X is Y but instead that X is like Y. * [[{{Gilboron}} This troper]]'s friend once used a rather odd and lengthy metaphor for love. ** ''"Love is like a cup of home made ice cream. There are many basic flavours, but each single cup is different, and sometimes, you want only one cup - for the sake of this metaphor, let's say it's one of those with both a vanilla and a chocolate half. And there's this rule you have to finish the vanilla part before starting the chocolate part. But then you accidentally eat the chocolate part so the cup of ice goes to another guy and lets him eat the chocolate part JUST BECAUSE THE ICE CREAM HATES YOU."'' * [[DarkInsanity13 This troper]] used to say ''Life's a game, and unfortunately, I'm not the one who's playing it.'' People either read into it too much (i.e. twisting it to make it sound dirty) or just plain didn't get it. * On a forum, while talking about popular girls and the hierarchy of school, this troper came up with: "I'm too anti-social to notice who's cool and popular and who's not. I think my high school is more like a jungle, where all the antelopes stick together and all the lions stick together (they're all probably very confused since they're not supposed to be in a jungle). And then all the antelopes crowd around in the hallways, blocking up the arteries of the school like horrible cholesterol clumps, which always annoys the other antelopes who are trying to get to class as quickly as possible, and then a wolf bites the jugular vein and the school dies a quick and bloody death." Yeah, I have no idea where that last bit came from. ** Freud would probably state that the wolf was you, a social reject (lone wolf) metaphorically destroying the school, which may mean subconsciously you hope to shoot the school up alone and ruin its organization. Neat. * This troper continually bounces between saying he has a photographic memory, but tends to leave the lens cap on, and saying he has a computer for a brain, but forgot to install an anti-virus program on it. ** This troper once likened his brain to a computer that hadn't been defragged since 1988. However, I would say that the above poster put it better. *** This troper likes it since [[{{Earworm}} it]] [[JustOneMoreLevel explains]] [[ArchiveBinge so]] [[WikiWalk many]]

[[TVTropesWillRuinYourLife things]]... * This troper, in an attempt to cheer up her friend: -->"If I was as talented as you, I wouldn't mind people seeing my writing. Because they'd all be like "You're really talented", and I'd be all "Thanks. I know." Not that you're stuck-up, or anything. And I'm not as talented as you, so the point's kind of moot. And I think I lost this somewhere, but IT IS A COMPLIMENT AND YOU WILL BE CHEERED UP GODDAMMIT." * In our Philosophy class, we started talking about Kierkegaard and his "mouse in a cookie jar" metaphor (don't worry if you don't understand it). The metaphors quickly got seriously messed up. * From the {{XKCD}} webforums, on the subject of [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean saving oneself for marriage]]: -->"Because sex is fun? Saving yourself seems a lot like standing outside an amusement park and deciding you're going to wait on hopping a roller coaster, because, well, you know, while they all look fun, you're just waiting for the 'perfect' rollercoaster that will always love you and you can have little rollercoaster babies and why won't any of these other rollercoasters respect me I'm just as good as any of those other riders, I'm tall enough and not obese so the chest bars don't get stuck or anything and JEEEESUS I just hate everyone having so much fun and look their doing loops and spins and this one goes backwards, I hate them I hate them all I'm going to just eat my cotton candy." * All these coffee examples reminded me of a rather amusing subversion/lampshading of this...Said troper was ordering coffee and couldn't get the lady behind the counter to put ''just'' the right amount of cream in the coffee; constantly making it either too light or too dark. After getter frustrated, said troper turned to his girlfriend and suddenly turned back to the lady behind the counter and stated in sheer seriousness, "Make it look like her (she has a slightly lighter than caramel complexion)". Another student quipped that he'd love to be able to instruct folks to make his coffee using his girlfriend as a guide, but he couldn't because then they'd just give him a glass of milk. * This troper once spoke of her favorite celebrity crush by remarking, "I would have his babies tomorrow. Well, if I weren't married. And if he weren't married. And if I could have babies." * One of [[{{Magus}} this troper's]] old history teachers had a lot of funny quotes. One of them ran a metaphor into the ground: "You've got to pick the low-hanging fruits (tongue-clicking, hand gestures) and bake them into a pie. Or a cake. Scratch that, I hate fruitcake." * My response to [[http://zeurel.deviantart.com/art/Comissonbloodleach-126285911 this picture]] was "The best rapiers are the ones that are covered in blocks, are prehensile, and aren't rapiers." ** Also, I responded to [[http://acerotiburon.deviantart.com/art/WTFPete-139387086 this comic]] with "Women are exactly like cake. If you eat the cake, then everyone is gonna be all "DUDE!!". Either because now there's no cake or because you're a cannibal. And since women are cannibals, eating cake is a religious practice to them. So trap the women in a small wooden box and force feed her cake through a tube, and after several weeks your foie gras will be ready for cooking.

Except it'll be soylent green. And full of booze." It seemed fitting, since the comic also exhibits Metaphorgotten. * When life gives you lemons, you punch him in the face and take his wallet. ** When life gives you lemons, add some tequila, and some lime, and a bit of salt, and then throw away the lemons. ** When God gives you lemons you [[ThisIsSparta FIND A NEW GOD]]. ** When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit and watch while the rest of the world tries to figure out how you pulled it off. ** When life gives you {{lemon}}s... you have a very good life to live, my friend. ** For a while my friend was fond of "When life gives you lemons, make peach cobbler". ** When life gives you lemons, squeeze 'em right back in life's eye. That'll learn 'im for giving you lemons. ** When life gives you lemons, masturbate. ** When life givess you lemons, [[VinceOffer stop having a boring life]]! ** When life gives you lemons, you make beef stew. ** Life gave me lemons, but not any sugar or water, so I couldn't make lemonade... ** Referring to {{FATAL}}: "When life gives you...rape lemons...make...um..." *** Viagra? ** When life gives you lemons, you [[CloneHigh clone]] those lemons, and make super-lemons. ** This Troper prefers [[RonWhite Ron White's]] version: --->Ron: When life gives you lemons, you should make lemonaide. And find someone whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. ** [[HoneydewSyndrome When life gives you honeydew, you make whatever the hell you can with honeydew.]] ** When life gives you lemons, make sure you have it on video cuz' I wanna see thhis "life" person who's giving out free lemons. ** When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then use the profits to buy an assault rifle. See if life makes the same mistake twice. ** When life gives you lemons, keep 'em. Hey, free lemons. * This troper's explanation to a friend of a particular opinion on ''{{Aladdin}}'': -->''Me'': I still maintain that my favorite character is the [[BuffySpeak giant lion sand head thing]]. -->''Friend'': But it barely figures! -->''Me'': It's my own personal Matt from ''DeathNote''. Deal. -->''Friend'': Does that mean you slash the sand lion gratuitously with many other characters? -->''Me'': .......Let's not take the metaphor all the way out, shall we. * This troper was talking to a friend about which side in Death Note was right. And I made a comparision which turned out to be a very bad simile. My argument ran something like this: -->''Me'': I like L, but I don't dislike Light. The main reason I never cheered Light on is [[spoiler: his blatant refusal to do anything which put him at risk or shortened his lifespan and taking it

to]] stupid lengths. -->''Him'': But that's what makes him brilliant... -->''Me'': [[BigNo NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!]] It's like starting a fast food outlet and becoming successful and famous and never eating a cheeseburger because you're on a diet and don't want to become unhealthy, and this is a really stupid and pointless metaphor. -->''Him'': Yes. It is a very stupid and pointless metaphor. * [[{{Ronnie}} This troper]] plays a rogue Terminator in a role-play. He is very fond of asking TheKidWithTheLeash if he can have words with his enemies- Hard, metal, skin-piercing words. * [[DeVos This Troper]] once tired to describe the internet using one of the quotes already on the Metaforgonen page, with interesting results. As far as I can recall it ran something like this: -->"Einstein once said that 'a telegram is like a very long cat; you pull the tail in New York and the mouth meows in LA. Radio is the same, but without the cat.' Well the Internet is like that, but with the cat, and it's some sort of mutant hydra-can with millions of heads and millions of tails. No, actually that's wrong, its millions of separate very long cats that have somehow got tangled up. No wait; tangled implies it not meant to be like that. It's millions of cats that have somehow got knitted together. Maybe someone's granny was kitting and a bit short sighted and didn't notice the kitten playing with the yarn and knitted it in. But that's not the point, the point is you pull the cat's tail and everyone in the world with a cat hears the meow. Except no, that's wrong: you pull the tail and everyone in the world with a cat gets the ability to hear the meow, but only if their cat is knitted in, and first they have to tweak the cats whiskers to search for that kind of meow and scroll down all the results by rubbing the cats belly until the find your meow, or follow a link embedded in another meow to your meow, and then they click on your meow with the mouse hanging out of the cats mouth and because they are STUPID FOURTEEN YEAR OLDS they leave hateful comments on your cat and now your cat is some hellish portal to a dimension filled only with trolls and shipping wars. But to be honest its society's fault because most people only ever use their cats for finding pornography so its unsurprising that the hydra-cat is full of idiots. Not cat porn, that would be weird. But to be honest rule thirty four means that no matter how sick, there is porn of it on your cat. Now if it were a dog that wouldn't be a problem because dogs can't fetch porn... unless you were to wrap it around a stick and throw it which is stupid, or unless it is a clever old border collie that fetches the newspaper, in which case the newspaper still has to be ''The Sun''. But anyway the internet is more like the telegraph cat than he radio non-cat; except with telegraph when you get board you can't photograph your cat and caption it 'I can has Cheeseburger?' " * My memory is like a sieve. [[ChainsawGood That somebody has taken a chainsaw to.]] * Come on, chances are you've contributed to the "Sex is just like Pizza" metaphor that used to be at the bottom of YouFailSexEdForever... ** No? See [[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/remarks.php?trope=Main.YouFailSexEdForeve

r here, top discussion page.]] * Despite Asperger's, this troper actually has a pretty tenacious grasp on the concept of metaphors because he's a visual thinker. He just manages to confuse other people by using strange ones or mixing them together. To wit: ** The tin man wanted a heart because he wanted to feel emotions, the scarecrow wanted a brain to prove that he was smart, and the lion wanted courage because he didn't think he was brave enough on his own merits. The items the Wizard gave each of them were all metaphors for things they already had displayed they had when the chips were down: feelings, intelligence, and bravery, respectively. ** The floating feather at the end of Forrest Gump was a metaphor for the fleeting nature of life, floating from point-to-point over the course of time. * ThisTroper did once manage to ask "If the sun rises over a forest and nobody sees it do we still have to cut down all the trees?" - I swear there was a proper second half to it, I just still can't remember what. It had something to do with getting older. * Invoked by myself for the sake of invoking earlier today, during a conversation about doughnuts. ->'''Friend # 1:''' You're always talking about doughnuts. You're a doughnut fiend! You know what, you ''are'' a doughnut. ->'''Friend # 2:''' What? ->'''Friend # 1:''' Uh, I mean you're sugary and sweet. ->'''Friend # 2:''' Thank you. ->'''[[TheVoid This Troper]]:''' And filled with jam. ->'''Friends:''' ... * This troper phorgets his metas so often he loses track of where he's deliberately belaboring a metaphor as a joke and where he's genuinely gone off on a tangent from which there is no SOHCAHTOA. * This troper had a physicls teacher explaining the constant acceleration due to gravity who said "When things don't have air resistance they fall at the same rate. If I dropped a feather and a bowling ball in a vacuum I'd be dead, because I'm in a vacuum." * This troper's sister was trying to explain a previous fish's physical attributes to a friend: ->'''This Troper's Sister:''' Okay, imagine a goldfish. Now imagine it's silver. Now imagine that it has a huge red flame on it's head, and that it's not a goldfish. Now imagine it's a shark chihuahua... ->'''Friend:''' [[SpitTake * spits out food* ]] * [[{{Chamale}} This troper's]] chemistry teacher tried to explain a cobalt chloride dissociation reaction in terms of cars and tires. --> Teacher: What's the answer? --> Student: 1. --> Teacher: No, it's .5. --> Student: How can you have half a car? * Not sure if this belongs here, but This Troper remembers seeing a 'like' on Facebook called "Friends are like potatoes, if you eat them they die.". ** That makes perfect sense! * One of my friends, regarding a particularly strange CrackFic: -->"It is like a train wreck. While that train is on fire. And zombies

occasionally pop up on the roof as it spirals through the air, and those zombies are rocking out inbetween flailing and squealing like little girls while they try to put out the flames eating their bodies. Then they say, "screw it", and go out ROCKING as their bodies are consumed by flames and reduced to ashes and then it's just a train wreck again. But then some more zombies show up and start rocking out and ...where was this metaphor going? * I like my women how I like my roller coasters: tall, curvy, and covered with screaming children. * From my ditzy economics teacher: "A price ceiling has the same purpose as a regular ceiling, to set a barrier that cannot be passed. Although these school ceilings are pretty flimsy, you could probably get through them if you had a knife or a baseball bat or something..." * This Troper once observed that life was like a Linken Park song: Possibly dark, depressing and full of emotional overtones, Possibly meaninless drivel laughed at by those that don't take it seriously at all, but definetly better with [[{{Transformers}} Giant Robots, Hot Cars, and Megan Fox.]] * I tried to come up with one about fires and souls..or maybe it was about war..or [[PeterPan Tinkerbell]]..I was coming up with something neat and deep to put on a poster I was doing. I scrapped all that and went for wit. "I used to have a metaphor for this." * [[Tropers/GuymelefKaizer This Troper]] once had a friend who was [[{{Angst}} angsting]] about relationship troubles, and who created an alternate internet persona. Then, in a message, the friend was explaining something and got confused about which internet self the friend was talking about for a moment, to which I replied: -->"Looks like you're beginning to split yourself into multiple personalities. You figure that out, maintain only this one, and BAM!!! Problem solved. Just like breaking eggs without making an omelette.." Then, I followed up with: -->"..And that metaphor is only partially screwy.. You.. do get it, right?" The friend didn't get it, so I had to explain it, which is where the metaphor REALLY ran away with itself. -->"The classic version is, 'You can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs.' By switching it around, you break a few eggs (split into multiple personalities), but you don't mix 'em back together again (making an omelette), and instead you have one very delicious near-perfect egg sunny-side up, and you throw out the other, fried egg and let it rot for a good five weeks or so until it's all moldy and everybody eventually forgets about it...." -->"Okay, NOW I've messed up my metaphor..." * I once I invoked this with a friend using a deck of cards: -->Me:"Think of this deck of cards as sex. Sometimes you'll get a diamond, others times a club, and if you're really lucky, you'll pull a spade. But pray to God that you don't get a Joker. -->Friend:"What... is that supposed to mean" -->Me:"Well if you don't know, then you're not ready for sex." * This Troper's [[CreepyChild rather morbid sister]], when talking about subtle foreshadowing in stories: -->Sister: "If I ever tried to hint at anything, it'd be like hitting someone in the face with a brick. It's be like, "Here's the brick!

Read what's on it!" But, the brick would have broken their face, and they'd be on the flood, dead, hemorrhaging, bleeding everywhere... What was I talking about?" * DaLucaray030 likes drawing people as dinosaurs. And then he came to the kid who thinks he's a dionsoaur. (No, really! I swear!) I think God made his for that sole purpose. To screw up my "__ as a dinosaur" metaphor. * [[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Tropers/Squidage This troper]] tends to ramble on about random stuff and forgets to get to the point often. It takes me a while to say what I want and end it. * Sometimes, things fly way over my head -- like a lead balloon. * Somebody once asked this troper whether he preferred ''{{Alien}}'' or ''{{Aliens}}''. His response? ---> "Apples and oranges, man. Or rather, apples and grapes, since you don't have to peel apples or grapes like you do oranges. You can just eat them, skin and all. Anyways, the point is... apples and grapes. Preferably seedless grapes that don't have very thick or tough skin, because that annoys me." * Something that seemed like it ''should'' have been Metaphorgotten, but was somehow pulled off: One time in art class, I was working on a still life painting. My teacher told me I should change it so that the top of one of my objects was no longer tangent to the horizon, since it drew the eye to a strange place. He said "That tangent is unnecessary, like my cat's birthday. My cat's birthday is unnecessary because my cat doesn't have lips, because he's a cat. So he can't blow out the candles the birthday cake. So it's unnecessary, like that tangent." Yes, really. There's a reason why the running joke at my school is that my art teacher is AxCrazy. Of course, the fact that he has threatened to [[CrossingTheLineTwice rip out the larynx of a misbehaving student]] [[ImAHumanitarian and eat it]] [[ArsonMurderandJaywalking with soy sauce]] might have something to do with that, too. * [[@{{Seiryu}} This troper]] did this memorably to a (female) friend of mine. She had just met a different friend of mine, and she had commented that he was cute. She was particularly attracted to his eyes. -->'''Me''': Well, the eyes are the windows to the soul, but I guess you're in love with the whole house. -->'''Friend''': Damn right. -->'''Me''': Well, if you ever get evicted from your current relationship, I know a guy in Real Estate who can get you a sweet deal with low rent, free utilities and WiFi, *wink wink* IfYouKnowWhatIMean. -->'''Friend''': [[{{Beat}} ...]] I honestly don't. ---Go back to {{Metaphorgotten}}, with all the speed of a cheetah on PCP in a Formula One racing car powered by rocket fuel, bad news, and a warp drive. Not that crappy warp drive that messes up the universe either, but the kind like on Star Trek: Voyager. Actually, the cheetah probably wouldn't know how to use warp-drive, so make it a monkey. Hmm, but monkeys aren't that fast. Well, I suppose anything strapped

to a warp drive is pretty fast. And the PCP couldn't hurt in that regard. Although it might keep the monkey from properly activating the warp drive, so the monkey might not get there at all. He'd need some help, so the cheetah goes too. But then they'd fight. Maybe if the monkey was covered in [[SpikesOfVillainy spikes]]... wait, what're we talking about? Oh, right. Go-go back fast. ----

MetaphorIsMyMiddleName * This troper once had the opportune chance of someone saying, "This will take a lot of patience. Is anyone up for it?" Said troper stepped up and applied this trope... and then had exactly zero people believe her when she revealed that her middle name is, unfortunately, ''actually Patience.'' ** ''Bullshit!'' * This Troper. as with the above, I had the chance to apply this trope. I used to be frequently asked for help in class. Cue, "Can you do this?" My reply: "Cando is my middle name." Guess what? It ''really is'' Cando, except pronounced differently. Both vowels are short. * "Literal is my middle name! Seriously, it is." "Can you redirect us to the main trope?" "Of course! [[MetaphorIsMyMiddleName Redirect is my middle name!]]" ----

MexicanStandoff * [[ARandomSerf This troper]] and a friend were playing around with some Nerf weapons, which culminated in each of us aiming our pistol directly into the forehead of the other. --->Friend: It only takes one bullet to kill, pilgrim. --->Me: *fires* [[BondOneLiner And no words.]] * [[PiratePikachuZ This troper]] describes situations where two people "smile" in a Facebook chat as "a Mexican Standoff on antidepressants". * This troper had this happen with pool noodles. Person A was aimed at Person B was aimed at Person D (this troper) was aimed at Person A, while Person C aimed at Person D. A beat B, then D beat C, then A beat D. ---Go back to MexicanStandoff, but don't lower your weapon. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

MiddleChildSyndrome * Definitely invoked by this Troper's family. I'm the middle child between the OnlyGirl and the Intellectually Gifted/Emotionally Stunted younger son. From being ganged up on and blamed for every misdeed in

the house by my siblings from the age of four, to being ignored in favour of the gorgeous little girl and constantly reminded of how brilliant and gifted my younger sibling is, four years straight of chronic illness and a bout of severe depression couldn't divert attention my way. That said, considering I turned that around to get straight As through my last years of high school, into a top university and a highly competitive course, to be the most athletic, the best looking, the most popular, wordly and socially savvy and adaptable, as well as being singled out as charming, mature and emotionally intelligent - while my older sister is in a second rate school with a small, distant group of friends and has put on twenty kilos and the brilliant younger brother became so lazy he gets praised for merely ''passing'' a course, this troper isn't too disatisfied with how things turned out. Chip on my shoulder? What chip on my shoulder? * Intentionally invoked and then subverted in my family. Our mother was the middle child and very much suffered from this. So when she had children, she identified with her second son as a fellow middle child, even though being 8 years younger than our older brother, who lived mainly with his dad and only visited during the summer and at Christmas, and as our father's first born, he really functioned more as the eldest sibling with our mother's first son being more like a really important cousin as far as our relationship growing up went. But being identified as the middle, our mom always took special pride in his accomplishments and never wasted an opportunity to brag about him. Of course I, being the youngest, the only girl, and the only one of the three to be lucky enough to inherit our mom's tendency towards anxiety and depression was rather spoiled by our dad and always had the closest relationship with our mom. * A very odd version in my family of four. I'm the third and the only girl. My oldest brother has a learning disability that makes him short-tempered and unable to function in certain situations. My younger brother is a lazy slob who needs motivation to put his dishes in the dish washer. My other brother and I are the middles, and are wildly self-sufficient, (packed out own lunches from 1st grade onward, keeping the house clean if our parents cannot, etc.) are straight-A students, generally well-like by our peers, and volunteer. We get ignored mostly because our other brothers NEED more attention. As my mom said, "It's so nice I have two children I never have to worry about." ** I'd call that more being ignored out of necessity then actual parental favoritism, so...Pseudo-Win? * Averted with this troper. I'm a well adjusted middle child. ** As well-adjusted as you can be and still be trapped in TV Tropes. Middle of five, here. * This Troper has it bad. Every time the grandparents come over! My older sister looks so beautiful and so intelligent and mature, and little brother is just so darn cute and sweet, and I'm... the other one. * This Troper's sister sufferd this with our step-sisters who were young when they came into our family so our mum gave them alot of attention, and myself being disabled and needing to be taken to

hospital alot was also paid plenty of attention. Now that our mother is pregnant, my sister fears she'll suffer this again. * This lurker's friends just had their third child. He is currently attempting to teach their second to say 'Marsha! Marsha! Marsha!' (their eldest isn't called Marsha, BTW) * This troper is the oldest, and is the most neglected. Her younger sister, the middle child, is the one pampered to due to mental retardation. Trope averted * In This Troper's family of three kids, the youngest brother seems to be the neglected one, while the middle child is always fawned over for being [[CheerfulChild adorable.]] Trope averted? * Story of ThisTroper's cousin's life. Older brother plays football, lifts weights, handsome, but gets crappy grades; younger brother runs track, is also handsome, gets good grades, but hangs with a bad crowd and gets in trouble for sneaking out all the time; middle kid gets decent grades, has never done anything worth grounding over, and likes to paint. Between punishing and rewarding the two of them for their accomplishments and failures, his parents are usually too busy with them to notice their middle son, who regularly goes without stuff like meals because whoever was cooking forgot to fix him a plate, hasn't been able to participate in major school functions because there isn't enough money for all three kids to attend, and hasn't had a birthday involving his parents since he was eleven because they typically forget when it is. The rest of the family sees said middle-child cousin as TheWoobie, though, so he makes out like a bandit around the holidays. * [[{{Mariko-chan}} This troper]] has this and she's only in a family of ''two'' kids. I'm the oldest, but my younger brother is pretty much spoiled rotten, and a brat to boot. The 'older sibling' in this case is my cousin, but we're pretty cool with each other. We both get annoyed with my brother, though. * The trope gets played with by this troper's family. The middle child is the one with the most mental problems and can't go to college and is on Social Security Income, so he gets a bit of attention and usually can't be left alone due to the need for assurance that the voices in his head are full of it. He also gets to go on vacations quite a bit with Mom. However, the oldest brother was a screw-up who ended up getting thrown out of the house after pulling too much crap on our parents (leaving the middle more of the oldest child) and this troper... okay, so the YoungestChildWins in this case, since she is attending a top research university, which is coincidentally why she can't usually go on the vacations her Mom takes her brother on; she is too busy studying for a science degree. (Mom still takes the troper out on vacation once in a while, and is planning something big and awesome when she graduates from university.) * Second of four here. A quiet artist, video game nerd and one-day IT programmer, stuck between two sisters who can't get enough of fashion and make-up (and who I believe will one day kill each other; they're too similar for their own good) and a littlest sis who's addicted to teh cute and actually gets along with me pretty well. * Sandwiched between two brothers, this tropette frequently gets handme-downs, can't have yearbooks or go on school trips, and frequently

has to help out the slower sibling. Being in a family that prioritizes in the eldest son doesn't help, either. * Between a dead older brother, and an autistic younger sister, this quiet, sneaky, and manipulative troper is often overlooked. This suites her just fine, and aids her in her plans to take over the world. * Subverted with this troper. Although I'm the middle child, I'm much more mature and responsible than my older brother, and I get better grades. I've even been told, by both my parents and people outside my family, that my older brother looks up to me. So I'm kind of like the honorary oldest child. * This troper is the middle child. Older sis is fat lazy slob who's been divorced four times; has no money to pay her bills but has all the money in the world for tattoos, [=DVDs=], and eyebrow waxing; and is obsessed with professional wrestling. Younger sister is a size one on a fat day, has a child and a good job and lots of friends and admirers. Then there is the middle child, me. I'm just sort of.....there. * This troper's best friend is a victim of this. As the middle child of three girls, she is sandwiched between a know-it all older-sister who recently got into her top college, and a loud and obnoxious younger sister who steals their single mother's attention. She was just reunited with her father, though, and because of all the time she's spending with him, she seems to be much happier. The Troper in question is the eldest of another set of three girls, with a twelveyear difference between me and the youngest. The middle child, (troper's first sister) is a brilliant little girl with wicked math and reasoning skills. She's at the top of her class, but usually all parental attention goes to the youngest one, who is slightly hyperactive, and more than a little accident-prone. So I get PromotedToParent, and I make sure I don't ever favor one over the other, in order to avoid this trope. * Averted with me I'm the middle child in my family but I had a lot of health problems as a child, so I had to have more attention, these days we're treated somewhat equally, but my older sister and younger brother are generally talked about more but I'm okay with that as I don't like being the center of attention. * Averted in my family because the middle child is the only boy. ** Same in my family. * This troper is the oldest in her family, and as such doesn't get this at home. But when she played the middle child in a play and as such was the middle child in the cast, the director kept forgetting to block her. It became a bit of a running gag among the cast. * This troper has this bad. I am the middle child of three girls. The oldest recieved quite a bit of attention, praise, and freedom, the last of which resulted in her wild high school days and subsequent dating issues that have netted her more attention. The youngest is the fashionista and drama queen who demands quite a bit of attention as well. Being rather quiet and self-sufficient, I often wound up neglected. I got fed up one day and walked into the middle of everyone and screamed. No one noticed. Story of my life. ** *hugs*

* [[@/PentiumMMX2 This troper]] and his sister are both the middle grandchildren on her side of the family, with pretty much the same effects typically associated with being the middle children. They did try to hide it, but if you paid attention, it was pretty obvious they where less thrilled by my achievements than that of my other cousins. * This troper suffers from it despite being the ''eldest.'' The actual middle child is only a year younger than her, and we're both in our late teens so the age difference is pretty much negligible. This troper is BrilliantButLazy, and her parents are disappointed she doesn't have more drive to achieve. Her brothers (the middle child and the youngest) on the other hand, are just [[TheAce brilliant]], and are the pride and joy of the family. * Played with in this troper's family. I am the middle child in my family, with an older sister and a younger brother. Since I have the mental disorder, I get the most physical attention from my parents. However, I also have the least mental attention. What I mean is that my parents try and avert this by trying as hard as possible to treat us the same. However, they haven't compensated for my mental disorder in doing this, so what works on my siblings doesn't work on me, but they don't seem to get that. At least I'm a better math and science student than my siblings... * This troper was told by an apparently GenreSavvy friend that this was why Troper thought she had depression. Of course, she also ignored the statement about how I felt like my friends (especially the aforementioned friend) didn't want me around, so her take on this probably isn't valid. * This troper knows a girl who says she has this. But her parents have tried again and again to reach out to her, but she just complains about how her parents don't care about her and how she hates them. It's all kinds of silly. * This troper's family [[InvertedTrope inverts]] this: she's actually her parents' favorite despite being the middle child. My older stepsister and younger sister have both disappointed my parents in various ways (older one by marrying a douchebag who has forced her to abandon her former dreams and most of her old friends, younger one by embracing a rather rigid strain of Christian fundamentalism and becoming very judgmental toward the rest of us who don't agree). Since I'm the only one who hasn't made a mess of her life and still has a good head on her shoulders (according to them - not sure if I agree on that one) I tend to get the privileged treatment. * I have an extremely loving family, so whenever they bring this up, it's almost always for comedy. My older brother and younger sister never did very well in school. When I was younger, I told my mom that some of my classmates got money from their parents if they got A's. My mom said that was ridiculous, and that I didn't need to be rewarded for good grades because getting A's was like breathing. Then my sister, after a series of particularly bad grades, got a few B's on her report card. When we got home from school, there was a bouquet of roses on the table, a dinner celebration and wrapped presents for her. She looked very taken aback and glanced at me for help. I asked my mom why I, in all my years of getting straight A's, never got any celebration for it. In what sounded like very genuine defense, my mom

pointed at a small box on the table and said, "But I bought you soap!" To be fair, the soap did smell like blueberries, which was delightful. And my sister and I still repeat that line when we need a laugh. * Played with in this troper's family. He is the middle child, but seeing as both other children were girls, he gained ''some'' distinction as the only son in the family. He's still the misfit of the family. * This troper feels like this sometimes with her two best friends, despite being the youngest and the tallest. Anytime I go anywhere with them, people look at them, not me. Beautiful, blonde, shy Alicia, quiet, tomboyish, gorgeous Amanda (who is the actual "middle-child"). I'm just... there. With my other two friends (who are actually sisters), I'm the eldest and the shortest and overlooked. Both of them are spectacular artists, though, but only the eldest is really known, and everyone loves her. She's a pretty tomboy who pulls of skinny jeans and a flannel shirt beautifully, while her sister is equally pretty and the eccentric girly half of their SiblingYinYang, who also draws a LOT. And then there's me. It happens anytime I'm with a group of friends: I get overlooked. On an intriguing note, I'm actually also the middle child (and only girl) in my family. I have a half-brother (who doesn't live with us and I've only met once) and a younger fullbrother. And of course, guess who is favorited? * This troper is filled with this trope. I think the world hates me. Which made me decide I hate the world. * This troperette, the middle of three, is ''constantly'' criticized, and she can't seem to do anything without it being wrong, including having a no-second-chances policy regarding her ex who was [[CorruptTheCutie constantly trying to make her give up her waitingtill-marriage philosophy.]] Her older sister? Does everything right. Her younger sister? Same. This troper has actually told her parents that she feels like she has this and was basically told that it was a myth and that she was being an overreactive bitch. * This troper has two sisters. His older sister gets good grades, is very good at drawing, and has many admirers while his younger sister is the sunshine of the family, and every bit the drama queen. He's just... there. In the corner. Probably doing something wrong again. * Let's see, this troper is a middle child, who has a "Princess" little sister, and an Only Boy!older Brother. She is almost always reminded that nothing she's done is as good as her older brother ), and that her little sister has all the talent in the family. It can get pretty annoying, and hurtful. Also, She's the [[UnFavorite in the family, her parents have "Forgotten" about her when she was out, and just never came to pick her up...even after three hours of waiting in the rain for them. No matter how many times this troper points this out, she just gets told that she's just a jealous bitch, and to get over herself. ** You and I both need a hug. * This troper is a middle of four, but sometimes it feels like I'm a full middle child. I'm the least like the rest of my siblings, with them all being sporty and artsy and me, [[TvTropesWillRuinYourLife well]]. Luckily, it's a subversion, because her dad is [[GenreSavvy too smart to let me fly under the radar]]

* This troper's [[AlwaysSomeoneBetter older brother]] is a charismatic TeenGenius, and her younger sister is [[TheOphelia mentally ill]], which naturally draws everyone's attention to her. And this troper is... just there. Although I know I have nothing to complain about. * This troper has gotten the shaft because of this. I'm the middle child and also the elder son. My sister is the super-intelligent, 3.98 GPA college grad while my brother is also very smart, better looking than me, and has just recently surpassed me in height as well. I'm a slightly above average student, who, by virtue of being the first born son, is expected to act years beyond my age (19) while simultaneously being told that I'm the low man on the totem pole (yes, below my brother) and the family disappointment. Thanks to some lowish grades that have come at bad times (when my siblings have gotten great grades at the same time), I've been pressured to go to two colleges in two years. Now, for my third year, I'm going to a different school far away from home just to get away from it all. * Inverted for This Troper, who is the eldest child but feels very overshadowed by his [[TheBigGuy younger brother]]; who is more physically active, frequently seems to achieve something (to the extent that when we went out initially aiming to celebrate the completion of a two-year project by me, it ended up as celebrating another of his), and mere days after I got my degree result I saw ''his picture on the back of a bus''. [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking And he's nearly as tall as me, too]]. Somewhat one sided in that Mum and Dad say they don't favour one over the other, and I know they're telling the truth, but it's still pretty damn difficult for me ''not'' to feel that I'm second best most of the time. * This troper has this one in spades. Third of five children with huge gaps between the other two sets of kids (older two are five and four years older respectively, younger two are five and a half and seven years younger respectively, so I never really connected with either duo that well.) First kid was the snarky, sour, cynical, bullying, annoying one-but he was smart, the oldest and all, so it was okay for him to act that way. Second brother was the popular, athletic one that all the girls liked-he was quite rude and mean as well. Fourth sibling is the only girl in the family, was sweet and pretty and a social butterfly (eventually got into drugs and drinking and is now a bitch to msot everyone but me, fortunately). Youngest sibling was the baby with the learning disability and the hyperactivity and the need for all kinds of counseling and medication and such (he's gone from being chubby to rail thin to obese in just a few years, once picked all the hair off his head and his eyelashes as well). That left me, the fat, quiet, shy nerd who always did well in school-my academics were about the only thing that singled me out. I was teased mercilessly by my older brothers (and the grandmother that lived with us-she hated me for some reason I was never able to understand, and my parents never believed me until age 10, when they caught her swearing at me and calling me a waste of space. She calmed down considerably after that as she was dying slowly and painfully, which made me feel really sorry for her. I helped her out a ton afterwards until she died six years later, and she eventually apologized in the end. Still love her, just wish I could understand why she treated em that way.) My younger

siblings were more or less my responsibility, not my brothers-they were able to go out with their friends and such whenever they wanted, while I had to look after my sister and little brother after school all the time (I had few friends myself, as I'm not that social and my brothers mocked me and whatever my friends got up to pretty much all the time, so I gradually grew more and more distant from others as a result.) I was forgotten at church several times by my mother, my birthday was forgotten by my father a few times (and at least three times he swiped my birthday money from my other grandparents to buy cigarettes), and if I needed to be picked up somewhere or dropped off, my parents would take all the time in world with me, leaving me sitting at my high school job for two and a half hours once (as opposed to the other four, who would be taken somewhere immediately, and were taken seriously in such matters.) My brothers and I shared a huge room, of which I was relegated to my dumpy little bed in the corner and the few books and toys that I owned on top of my dresserthey got the video game systems, the couch and recliner, the computers and the desks and all the shelving stuff and closet space to themselves. They had tons of clothes, I had ragged hand me downs and at one point owned a grand total of maybe two pairs of pants with holes in them and one nice pair for church (the others all had massive dressers spilling clothes everywhere, big piles of them.) My mother forgot to get me new shoes for two years in a row once when I was a kid-I'd gone from size 8 to size 11, and though I complained about how much my feet were hurting, she ignored me. The list goes on and on...Yeah, I have plenty of stories on this one, could keep going for hours but this has become a huge wall of text-suffice it to say, I am quite easily forgiving and love my family immensely, who all kind of realize what jerkasses they were now and usually treat me kindly nowhelps that I'm the only one to have a kid of my own... * This troper is the only guy sandwiched between two girls, with each sibling spaced three years apart. The older one is a cheerleader in her last trimester of college, and the younger one is in her high school's soccer team. It's not being the middle child that bugs me, but the fact that I'm the only guy, even if that is what sets me apart. Of course, my good grades also set me apart from the two, and in some ways I behave better than them. When we were growing up, our parents treated us more or less equally, anyway. Trope averted, I guess. ---You can go back to MiddleChildSyndrome, but your older brother got there already, and everybody is waiting for your younger brother to arrive, so why bother showing up? ---<<|TroperTales|>>

MidlifeCrisisCar * TruthInTelevision, oh-so-much... at one point, my sensible, ecofriendly father just went and traded in his ultra-economic Volkswagen Lupo for a red Mazda MX-5.

* ThisTroper's father has a bright yellow Mustang. However, this is not his only midlife crisis vehicle, as he has a motorcycle and a pickup truck. * [[Tropers/DaNuke Da_Nuke]] knows a friend from college. His dad is the owner of one of the top candy manufacturers in Mexico. It is said that said friend has been seen driving to college '''''in a Ferrari [=F430=]'''''. Now put two and two together. * [[Tropers/TromboneChild This Troper's]] mother has a friend who drives a 10-year-old silver Mazda Miata and refers to it as her "MidlifeCrisisCar." Whether or not it actually ''is'' a MidlifeCrisisCar is another hill of beans. * This Troper's father was forced to buy a hatch-back Toyota. He then proceeded to decorate it with massive aerials, side skirts with orange reflectors, bull horn stickers and a blue plastic wind buffer on the front. Basicly like a truck. And did I mention the metallic blue rims? * This troper's father bought a 1950s vintage Mercedes. This troper also mentioned how you could buy a ''tank'' on the internet, and the absurd idea appears to have taken hold. MyGodWhatHaveIDone? ** Don't worry; it would never pass roadworthy tests. *** Some armored cars would be easy enough to make road-legal. **** Yeah, they're called Hummers. **** A Hummer is not an armoured car, really. TopGear once tested a road-legal Ferret, which is. They concluded it was so insanely unsafe you'd do well not to kill anyone driving across town, but that Jeremy wanted one anyway, possibly for that reason. * [[Tropers/AstraKiseki This troper]] has an averted trope of it; yes, her father got a Harley in his 40s, but he had been wanting one since his ''teens.'' ** [[Tropers/PentiumMMX2 This troper]]'s dad had something similar. Though he didn't get his dream truck (A 1979 Dodge Lil' Red Express) until he was in his 40s, he had been wanting one since he was in middle school. * This troper's father subverted this, instead buying a caravan and a jeep to tow it with, and spending most of the year in France and Spain, returning to England in the summer to claim residency. * [[{{Tropers/Nomic}} This troper's]] dad bought a sportscar (can't remember what kind) at around the the time he turned 40. Later he sold that one and bought a Ferrari. He's since changed to a different Ferrari 2 times. ** Holy **** ! How much [[MoneyToBurn money]] does your dad [[MoneyToThrowAway HAVE]]?! *** Considering that it is possible, albeit difficult, to find certain types of classic Ferrari for surprisingly low amounts of money, it wouldn't necessarily have to be a lot. *** He first found a used Ferrari sold for a relatively low price, and sold the first car to get it. Later he traded it with another Ferrari owner for a very similar model. Later he sold that one and bought a newer model (used, though). * [[Tropers/EddieVanHelsing This troper]] has started saving up for a Tesla Roadster now that he's in his 30s. ** Ahh, [[http://www.teslamotors.com/ Tesla Motors.]] Pardon my drool. :) \\

They're taking reservations for a [[http://www.teslamotors.com/models/index.php Sedan]], and are working on a compact. The last is the only one that might be anywhere ''near'' my price range! * This troper's [[JerkAss father]] bought himself a sports car at the usual age. Her mother was not pleased. Neither was the troper, since he bought it instead of sending her back for a second year of college. * This troper's dad went with a Toyota Celica GT, in the traditional bright red. In all fairness the rest of the family loved it as much as he did when they got to use the thing - it had the kind of engine that made what could only be described as mechanical f** k me noises. * This troper's father is around his 40's and bought a 2004 Nissan 350z. Along with a radar detector. And is somewhat attempting to make it into a street racing car. * One of this troper's coworkers recently bought a Mazda 6 after years of 10+ -year-old beaters. His wife talked him into it by saying "it's a CoolCar, but it's a sedan so it DOESN'T look like a MidlifeCrisisCar". * This troper's mother did this with a Mustang convertible. We have since traded it in to get another car. An Escape. * This troper is destined to have this happen in reverse: At 26, he's a hardcore motorcycle rider. His MidlifeCrisisCar is likely to be a sensible sedan or towncar... * This troper's dad recently bought a cherry red 2007 Mazda Miata convertible. since this troper's dad is in his 70's we joke it's his 3/4-life crisis car. * This troper's dad had bought a motorcycle to save on gas for work. He had to sell it after it cost him a lot of money to replace the tires and to fix it all the time. * Me and my brother were at a car show that allowed people to get in some of the cars. We got in several of the Midlife Crisis Cars and had a difficult time getting out. If an 18 and 15 year old had trouble getting in and out of a Porsche, a middle-aged guy with back troubles would be trapped in there forever. * This troper's brother actually went through a mid-midlife crisis and thought at the age of 22 he was getting too old and wanted to get a shiny new sports car. ** Technically, wouldn't that be an "I'm Finally An Official Adult, I Can Afford A Non-AllegedCar" car? * An older gentleman who lives in ThisTroper's town drives the only neon-yellow Ferrari Spyder in the tri-city area; he is easily recognized by this vehicle and he can generally be seen driving between the grocery store, the highway, and the gas station, but nobody has any idea where he lives. We are convinced he fights crime as the superhero Mid-Life Crisis Man. (We have of course composed a theme song.) * I only just noticed that my father's '92 Taurus SHO is actually his midlife crisis car. He handed down a van to my brother. The car has been in the shop as much as it has been driven. * This troper bought a 1966 Pontiac Lemans convertible at 18 after months of serious depression, making it a Pre-Quarterlife Crisis Car. * This trope is pretty much the only explanation that

[[Tropers/TheHeroHartmut This Ireland-based Troper]]'s father purchased a [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triumph_Stag Triumph Stag]] a few years ago. Apparently, as a mechanic when he was younger, they were the first type of cars that he worked on. * This troper's mother's ex-boyfriend got a bright red moped which ended up sitting in our driveway because he never got around to getting proper insurance for it. * This troper doesn't care what kind of car he gets next. It can be a Prius or a Mini or a Beetle for all I care. But it will have aftermarket hydraulic doors that open like a Lamborghini. This is so that I can play armored mecha with my car. * This troper's father bought a shiny little red Mazda Miata over 15 years ago. We didn't need nearly that much time to figure out just how impractical this masculine ego boost is for a family of four--it only has two seats and is so tiny that the bags from an average grocery trip leave it stuffed to near overflowing with no room left for a passenger. It's also a manual, and my sister and I can't drive stick. We still have the blasted thing to this day, though we're pretty sure it's just living on borrowed time now. Just to add insult to injury, some of Dad's coworkers have cheerfully informed him that the Miata apparently ranks high on the list of cars that are popular with [[NotThatTheresAnythingWrongWithThat gay men.]] * Unintentionally happened with this troper's dad, who bought two cars from a close friend to replace an old one and another that said troper's brother crashed. One of the cars casually happened to be a Camaro... * [[Tropers/ProdigalDaughter This troper]]'s dad, after seventeen years driving an old Saturn the same age as this troper, is buying a new car-- but he's adamantly averting this. Yes, he's almost fifty and buying a new car. But he insists that he doesn't want "[[CompensatingForSomething a penis car]]", but rather is going for "something cute and fun". Probably a Mini Cooper. And the reason he's getting a new car is that the old on's breaking down all to hell. * This troper's father is a bit of an aversion. When he turned forty, he sold his '66 Corvette Stingray, and bought my mom the PT Cruiser she desperately wanted. It's only a bit of an aversion, though, because a couple years after that, he bought himself an '06 Mustang. * In this Troper's father case, is Midlife Crisis Autocaravan. However, to save up enough money to pay it we cannot actually ''use'' it. Did I say that he bought it at ''exactly 50 years old''? * This troper's father played this straight by getting into HarleyDavidson motorcycles. If this trope were ExactWords, he's going to live to be 102. * This troper's dad has explicitly said that he will buy himself a Porche right after his retirement. ---Now that you've traded your Camry in on a Camaro, go back to MidlifeCrisisCar in it. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

MilhollandRelationshipMoment * This troper once had a class where a recurring joke was to hide stuff from the teacher's desk. Usually hidden in plain sight, but I had a moment of boneheaded brilliance and decided to hide her stapler inside the overhead projector I was expecting it to define a clear outline when turned on, but what it actually did was darken the image for a few minutes, then start smoking. When I got into class, the overhead had a scary sign on it describing an electrical fire and there was a lengthy message on the board designed to scare the perpetrator straight, asking for a new stapler (it asserted the old one was completely incinerated) and any cost to repair/replace the overhead. All of this was designed to scare. When I confessed, she brought the lightly singed stapler out of hiding and resumed using the projector. * My mother was devastated that my fish had died. I HATED the bloody thing. * I am ''extremely'' easygoing in relationships (unless someone is being a dick to me with the intent of being a dick) so these happen to me all the time. They're one of the main reasons my phone calls with the current boy have reached four hours on various occasions. * My roommate and I are both in the Navy. The roommate, while deployed for a couple months, left his pet snake in my care. Though I fed him and gave him water perfectly regularly, about a month in, the snake was found dead in his cage. Cue a month of worrying what my roommate was going to do to me when he got back (He's a bit of a gun nut). The conversation that took place upon his return: "Did you kill my snake?" "Well, about that..." "It's cool. Not like snakes even really count as pets anyway." * Both I and my boyfriend are like this. It leads to hilarious situations when we're both stressing about similar things. We're in a long distance relationship, so sometimes we'll both be angsting over money at the same time. --> Him: I'm so sorry it's taking so long to get the money to come visit! --> Me: That's ok, no worries. I'M so sorry I can't do more to help because of all the stress on me. --> Him: Oh, that's understandable. But I'm so worried I'm going to let you down! --> Me: The only way you'd let me down is if you'd stop trying. But it kills me I can't do more! --> And so on and so on...

---I'm sorry, I broke your [[MilhollandRelationshipMoment main page.]] ** That's alright, I have another one. ----

<<|TroperTales|>>

MilitaryAlphabet Some people are in the military, and some people use alphabets. Here are some stories from some such folk. ---* [[Tropers/SlvstrChung This troper]] had just returned home with take-out from Outback Steakhouse when his mother informed him that they'd got the order wrong. They had called and asked for this troper's name and home address, so that they could mail him a gift certificate, and Mom obligingly provided our last name: "N as in Nancy, G as in George"[[hottip:* :It's the Cantonese word for the number 5, can alternately be spelled with an I or an E in front, and is pronounced "Ing"; no relation to the Vietnamese "[[http://threepanelsoul.com/view.php?date=2008-11-26 Nguyen]]"]]. This troper's mother, understand, grew up in Indonesia, speaking primarily Indonesian with a smattering of Dutch and German; she learned English when she immigrated to America and has very little accent, but enough to make some things difficult over the phone. By sheer coincidence this troper and his sister chose that evening to call her on it. "Not everybody will understand 'Georsh'. Say Nevada next time. That way when you pronounce it 'Geors-sha,' they still know what you're saying because [[ChekhovsGun they're already expecting a state]]." And, sure enough, the gift certificate arrived a few days later, made out to... [[BeyondTheImpossible Mr. Mv]]. Yes: [[CrowningMomentOfFunny M as in Mancy, V as in Veorge]]. * I have a habit of specifically spelling out my name in the NATO phonetic alphabet over the phone. Joke Oscar November. Notice it's like a cheap vacation package; no Hotel. ** Just to be nitpicky, it's Juliet, not Joke * This troper will tend to use this for spelling out her post code. She's also had to use it for spelling out her surname before. It's something she's picked up from her mother. * This troper does it at work, using NATO phonetics when verifying blood products for transfusion. (It's a two-person process, involving the reading of a checklist and verifying three different patient, lab and donor codes, all of which are alphanumeric.) It's also helpful when reporting off to staff whose first (or even second) language isn't English. * This troper, thanks to 6 years of military experience (not service DoD civilian in a military capacity), will always lapse into NATO phonetic for spelling. Even for non spelling situations like reading rural route addresses (Whiskey-one-two-four-eight-one, November-sixthree-three, Romeo-Romeo-one-four instead of W12481N633 RR 14). Confuses postmen to no end. * This (At the time) pogue E-1 troper, while relaying an [[MemeticBadass infantry Staff Sergeant's]] last name over the radio using the military alphabet, accidentally used "Rodeo" instead of "Romeo" for R. He hoped nobody would notice, being relatively similar in pronunciation. The Staff Sergeant did notice. He was not amused.

* This troper always uses the military alphabet, even when it isn't needed. * Alpha! * A handy tip that I could not fit anywhere else: If you're stuck talking to an automated phone system, and your account number includes letters, most of the time, the computer will understand the phonetic alphabet. For instance, if it's something like AM215, you can get away with saying "Alfa Mike 2 1 5" to the phone system. ---Oscar Mike Main/MilitaryAlphabet?

MilitaryBrat * [[{{@/GamerFromJump}} This troper]] became ''very'' familiar with I40 between 1977 & 1997. Word to the wise: Avoid trying to overnight in Nashville. Their highways were apparently designed by [[BlindIdiotTranslation an autistic chimpanzee with a crayon]]. * Played with by this troper. Father was the one in the military, but mostly because of lack of a steady job without it and to support this troper and his mother, he actually encourages me NOT to join the military (he compares working with his co-workers to herding cats), however, I do live in no place for longer than four years, mostly overseas, and like to confuse my civilian friends with Pacific Island, Italian and Japanese culture mentions. * Sort of averted by [[{{Sciatrix}} me]], given that both of my parents got out of the Air Force when I was about four. Played absolutely straight with my father, who ended up going to four different high schools and spending a stint in Germany. Dad didn't enlist in the Air Force to make his own dad proud, though; he went in in order to have his collegiate education paid for. (So did my mother, actually.) * [[{{Lockea}} This troper]] manages to both impress and annoy her classmates in ROTC BECAUSE she is a military brat, yet not military eligible. Despite not being able to do the physical parts of the program, she's got entirely too much knowledge of the faults and strong points of each branch, and can easily keep up with the intellectual aspects of the military. Of course, most of this comes from being the Master Chief's Daughter, a position of some publicity within the command, meaning she HAS to be {{genre savvy}}. * [[AstraKiseki This troper]] is a Navy brat (go Navy, beat Army) who got one out of the three elements of the backstory: strict father. She got out of the moving around bit because her dad was good with paperwork, and the troper was born late enough that her father was able to stay in one location. Unfortunately, it means while her brothers got to go to Japan as little kids, the troper was only made there. * This troper was an Air Force brat. I've lived in Germany as a toddler (but actually didn't learn any German). I've also moved around a lot, even after my dad left the Air Force, staying in one place no longer than 6 years. I'd like to stay put in one place for a few decades, thank you.

* [[{{theFirebottle}} This troper]] is a military brat minus all of the conventional elements. It's my mother who serves, and I lived in one place until adulthood. But the health care sure is nice (albeit inconvenient) and living near a commissary is a godsend. * [[{{Basarin}} This troper]] is an Army brat who was born and raised in an Army base overseas, effectively making it my hometown. I've actually lived there longer than anywhere in mainland USA, so when people, instead of asking where I am from, ask me what state I'm from, I'm never sure how to answer. ** Just say you're from the overseas country you've lived in the longest. And then if they ask you if you are '''insert country's demonym''' say no to effectively confuse them. * Like the troper above, [[{{tarachan}} this troper]] lived around an overseas military base, but her father ended up getting out of the military when she was young, so she lived in that one area around the military base. In that effect, she calls herself a "civilian brat" instead. ** Also, [[{{Tarachan}} she]] believes that you are a US military brat if you know what it means to have an APO/FPO address. And no, it's NOT an international address since it's still considered "United States addresses"! * Pseudo-inverted in [[MalachiteDragon This Troper]]'s case; His mother is and she'd probably very much love for him to do so, but two things prevent this: ** 1) He ''does not'' want to go into the military. It is his choice in the matter, and he made it long ago. ** 2) Even if he ''did'' want to go into the military, they ''would not accept him''- He is 100% deaf in ''both ears'', and is suspected of having slight/mild Auspergers. * This troper is an Air Force brat. She lived in Okinawa when she was 7-10 but didn't learn much Japanese. She has moved about 7 times in her life and her father was deployed to Iraq in 2004. The basic military brat package right there. ** This troper used to have a pen pal who fits your description. Do I know you? *** I don't know... Did you ever live in Massachusetts or England? * This troper is a subversion. I was born and raised in a military family, but is quite open-minded, leans to the left on the political spectrum, has little knowledge of the inner workings of the military compared to quite a few other military brats (but still more than most civilians) and lived in a foreign country only for a few years in my infancy, so I don't know any "obscure foreign languages or customs". I have no interest in enlisting, and even if I did I'd be rejected due to a diagnosed mental illness, less than perfect eyesight and a body type that may not be able to handle the physical requirements even at its peak condition. * This troper is a bit of a subversion herself. I was born on one end of the country and raised all over the rest of, but I've only been outside of Canada three times (four if you count the cruise part of our resent vacation), all for vacations. My dad is not a hard ass, but more of the [[{{dotingparent}}]] type (my mom's the disciplenarian). I have applied to join the reserves and will be going for my testing

soon. This is not due, though, to me wanting to follow in my dad's foot steps, but more about the fact that the Canadian military will pay up to $8,000 for my education and I'll have a garunteed income if I'm accepted. * This troper is a Navy Brat. Her parents met in A school, and when they got divorced her mother met her stepdad in the base's country club in Japan. She was born in Maine, later moved to Washington and now resides in California. For much of her childhood, she lived with her Aunt, as her mom was deployed. Over the last four summers may dad has been home for one, due to the military. * One of this troper's former officemates is one, so much that everyone called him General <surname>. He's also a bossy type, but a good one. * This troper was a National Guard brat, meaning she only lived in one city from birth until college. She's planning to work for the government as a civilian, and is bemused by the recruiters always calling her house. This troper is a wimp, and definitely not the droid they are looking for. * This troper was an Army brat for much of his childhood, and was actually born in Ft. Stewart, Georgia. His father was an active-duty officer for quite a while, and said troper is planning on joining the Army by way of ROTC. * This (Vietnamese) troper's father was an officer in the French army; after he retired, the French offered him and his family French passports. Just think, I could be [[EveryoneLooksSexierIfFrench totally sexy]] instead of merely {{Adorkable}}. * Played straight with this troper - both parents in U.S. Navy. Dad was a SEAL. But said troper is medically disqualified from any military service. Which sucks 'cause he really wants to join. * This troper is often mistaken to be a MilitaryBrat because he is considerably more knowledgeable than the average civilian about military affairs and history, speaks Japanese fluently, and is more likely to raise his hand in a sort-of salute than wave it in greeting. Chalk it up to growing up with a military/history buff father, Japanese mother, and lots of MilitaryBrat friends. * My parents were both in the U.S. Navy and have since retired. My father started as one of the engineering staff before making [[MrFixit Chief Engineer]] and eventually became TheCaptain, while my mother was an intelligence officer who tracked Soviet military activity. ---We're moving from Germany to Okinawa by way of the [[MilitaryBrat main trope page]]. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

MilitarySchool * All of [[Tropers/MegTheMaggot my]] brothers attended a private, Catholic all-male military school. As I'm the OnlySaneEmployee of my family, I know how to tie ties, polish dress shoes to a mirror finish, do army pushups, and a huge assortment of other skills

[[SomedayThisWillComeInHandy I sincerely hope will someday be useful.]] ---Go back to MilitarySchool. Or else we'll force you to. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

MilkingTheGiantCow * Tropers/{{Marandahir}} has been known to do this in RealLife. ThisTroper doesn't mean to do it, either. * Tropers/{{Night}} has occasionally been known to make incredibly spastic, uncoordinated gestures as a visual version of {{Angrish}}. ** Same here, coupled with babbling nonsensically in fury. Think 3x7 of [[{{ArbyntheChief}} Arby 'n the Chief.]] RURURURURUR * Tropers/{{Temascos}} has actually milked a giant cow when I briefly stayed in a remote Nicaraguan village, was a total disaster. Has done the acting version too, also a disaster. * This Troper's sister does this. This Troper finds it hilarious. * Ask This Troper to read something out loud. This is almost inevitable, especially if I can hold the item in one hand. Oddly enough, this doesn't happen when I perform folk music... * [[Tropers/{{Alucard}} This troper]] once did this with a plastic goblet in acting class monologuing as [[TheCountOfMonteCristo Edmond Dantes]] in the 2002 film. Because the character wasn't noted for heavy expression at the time (and he was giving a toast), this was the best way to relay emotion (and yes, this troper was called out on it). I later started doing it while singing on RockBand because I find it helps (mentally) for hitting certain notes. * As part of your stereotypical Italian-American family from New Jersey, this troper does this when talking normally. However, it gets turned UpToEleven when she sings, mostly because of how overly dramatic most songs that she likes and can sing well are. * I tend to do this if something awesome happens after I get my daily fill of TV Tropes. It's weird. Like, I'll be doing some schoolwork and browsing TV Tropes and I get done with work and I do this little victory dance with imaginary music. * Tropers/{{Mousy677}} frequently does this, particularly during [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotAwesome History lessons]], when she is always the first to participate in a debate. [[BadassBoast And always wins]], although mostly because the others are left shocked after she speaks. She has been told by her History teacher that she really is a believable (insert whatever she was being here). * This troper has been trying to stop the milking for years. It's so ridiculous that I immediately call it out when I notice as if it was part of what I was already talking about. ** (While waving my arms around for emphasis) "First of all, your point is invalid. Second, you are not making sense. Third of all, why am I waving my hands around like a complete moron? And fourth, you're smelly and look ugly!" * Given that this Troper takes Drama class, he does this often. Even when regularly speaking to people. [[CodeGeass Lelouch]] probably

influenced me as well, though.

MillenniumBug * [[{{Tropers/Pittsburghmuggle}} This troper]] ran the warehouse for a teeny (and now defunct), computer company, and the techs had to repeatedly point out to our "more of a manager than a computer expert" boss that Y2K was really nothing to worry about, so we weren't. There was some joking at the last meeting before New Years - after discussing the work orders we would be getting to after the holiday, I tossed in "provided the town isn't in flames", which got a laugh. My wife and I went shopping on New Years eve - the store was sold out of milk, bread and toilet paper - people had carts piled high with food and supplies. New Years itself was fine, though I was tempted to go down to the basement of my friend's house and pull the breakers at midnight. Unfortunately we had to go home quickly after midnight - my wife worked at a bank which promised to be open at 8am on New Year's day to prove they were Y2K compliant.

MillionToOneChance * Seen right here on [[TVTropes this very wiki]]. [[{{Alexduckie}} This troper]] clicked "random item" on the homepage, and the random item was THE HOMEPAGE. If that's not a million-to-one chance, I don't know what is. ** If that's true, [[{{Siofra}} this Troper]] must have an Probability Drive on her mouse. I get it at least once a day, provided I'm on the site. ** I do this at least twice every time I'm here. -->'''Richard Feynmann:'''"You know, the most amazing thing happened to me tonight. I was coming here, on the way to the lecture, and I came in through the parking lot. And you won't believe what happened. I saw a car with the license plate ARW 357. Can you imagine?[[YouFailStatisticsForever Of all the millions of license plates in the state, what was the chance that I would see that particular one tonight?]] Amazing!" * If [[{{Tk4l}} this troper]]'s counting is right, then the odds of him meeting his girlfriend, who is his next door neighbor, and is the only girl who has Asperger's like him that he knows, is around 320,000,000 to 1. Give or take a few 0's * Ever catch a shiny Pokemon in one of the games? Well, there ya go. ** [[DidNotDoTheResearch Actually, it's widely known that the exact probability of getting a shiny Pokemon is 1 in 8192.]] But that's beside the point. ** On a slightly less impressive note, this troper found a female combee on his second try searching a honey tree in his copy Daimond. That's a 5% chance of finding a combee, and a 12.5% chance of it "bee"ing[[hottip:*: Ha ha, [[IncrediblyLamePun "bee"]]. [[SarcasmMode I crack myself up.]]]] female. Need I remind you that you need to wait 6 hours every time you want to check? ** My friend's first Pokemon encounter (you know, right after you choose your Pokemon) in Ruby was against a shiny Poochyena.

[[WallBanger You know, before you can use Pokeballs.]] *** [[{{Tropers/Bwburke94}} This troper]] wonders if it had a [[PokemonX double dose of the Pokrus]]. * And on a more heartwarming note, this troper once used all his tickets at a school raffle attempting to get a snowglobe for mother's day. And won. * This Troper and one of his friends were using the Random Article button on Wikipedia. A page popped up about a minor medical condition that around 30% of the population has. We both had it. ---There's only a MillionToOneChance you'll ever get back to that page.

MindControlConspiracy * When [[{{Pepinson}} This Troper]] was sixteen and just taking his first steps onto the Internet, he ran into a website full of people who actually believed this was being done to themit was basically a mutually-reinforcing, delusional support group for all ends of the paranoid spectrum. I tried to talk to them, but they decided very shortly that I was a "perp"literally a giant lizard from the astral plane who had come to ruin their lives and feed on their negative emotions. An admin posted my (fake) e-mail and (proxy) IP address and invited my "victims" to track me down. I tried to talk them down, but one of them started saying he could hear me taunting him telepathically. By the time they banned me, I was getting cursed at, threatened with death, asked how I stole life energy and manipulated the weather, blamed for everything from depression to incestuous urges, and one middle-aged lady was ''begging me to make the government return her children.'' * [[DokEnkephalin I]] used to like to point out all the people who had a matching set of metal fillings in their back molars, ([[OrIsIt joking]]) that it was how "''they'' listen in". The introduction of fluoride into the water supply, ironically fuel for more MindControlConspiracy, has reduced the frequency of this, but it's still astonishingly high in adults over 30. * Hilariously, a mind control conspiracy theorist once made a post on a forum for erotic mind control fantasies. [[http://www.mcforum.net/yabbse/index.php?topic=22900.0 Check it out]] if you're amused by the idea, although it didn't lead to much incident. * I have this friend on facebook, and she is such a conspiracy theorist, shes always talking about how the world is mind controlled by the government, how the government is trying to kill us...stuff like that * [[Tropers/CabbitGirlEmi This tropette]] believes that some of the movies that are under the OscarBait category have hidden subliminal messages that make some of the people watching love it.

MindRape * [[Tropers/CabbitGirlEmi This tropette]] feels honest-to-God raped

every time I see a commercial for a TV drama that shows people yelling at each other, but if they do it too hard, that's when it feels like I feel raped. Granted, I've never been raped PHYSICALLY, but I've been yelled at so much in school from second grade to sixth grade until I ended up home-schooled, that I developed a psychological complex. * For better or worse, I think I might have accidentally done this to a friend of mine in high school by showing them Evangelion. This lead to a second very intentional ravage of his mind after said friend decided to get back at me for sharing a show I enjoyed by hurting my other friends. I essentially explained to him all the reasons he was a horrible excuse of a human being, how everything he's ever done is selfish, how he has no self-motivation to fix himself, and how he's been jealous of my success ever since he met me, not to mention how much of a hypocrite NightTemplar pervert he was. He doesn't speak to a lot of people anymore... ** [[CompletelyMissingThePoint Maybe you should apologize?]] * My girlfriend survived Tranquillity Bay. Her parents are as conservative as they come and old money. I couldn't even write to her while she was there, and she told me afterwards that she was told that I didn't want to see her any more. Her own parents sent her to that place, where they emotionally abused and beat her, forced her to lie flat on her face on a concrete floor for three months, and generally put through things I can barely imagine. She still has nightmares about it, but she won't tell me much. Her parents have now disowned her, and she is now living with my family, but I cannot describe how angry it makes me feel that anyone would do that to their daughter, especially someone like Erin. She's getting therapy, and I hope she will recover, but there are times when I want to hunt down and kill the people who did that to her. * This troper is Dyscalculaic. As a result, that's Math to me. Pure unadulturated MindRape. * ''Cloud Mows the Lawn'' did this to This Troper. Further elaboration is not necessary. * This troper got MindRape several times by Hentai anime, now she's a not so innocent YaoiFangirl.

MindScrew RealLife {{Mind Screw}}s from our users show up here. ---* This troper has had many odd dreams. In one he dyed his hair black, then was immediately eaten by a zombie wearing an orange afro-wig, this troper woke up, then woke up, then woke up for real. In another he and two foreign exchange students went to a bizarre carnival that always played Caramelltanzen, with random robots, chefs, nuns, and hippies dancing to it while on platforms that floated around in the air. We rode a roller coaster that was on a wire for a bit. Then suddenly, this troper was under a wooden platform while a clown selling glow-in-the-dark cotton-candy was running by; someone started shooting paper discs at people. The discs somehow OneHitKill people. Then, this troper was by a balloon stand shaped like a fish and a

friend of his ran by fleeing from the clown who now had a knife. This troper then was walking with people who were all wearing only sandals down a long corridor with tall, wooden walls. This troper appeared at a wedding after walking down the corridor, he was the bride and was marrying one of the exchange students. In another he was standing on a busy street corner, everything was black and white and he could not move; the foreign exchange student he married then appeared, in colour, and he hugged this troper. Then a while after he left, this troper screamed then fell through the ground and exploded before waking up. * This Troper prides himself upon his numerous bizarre dreams. One of my favorites goes something like this: I'm in a house I've never been to before, looking out the window onto a group of people having some dinner on a long table, surrounded by luscious grass and huge hills. I'm listening to an audiobook, which suddenly describes the hills jumping up and running. This immediately comes true. To represent this, a fisherman is walking along the top of the huge hills behind the dinner, and every so often a hilltop comes past and knocks him sideways, another one appearing every time he gets up. This repeats for a while, until I am suddenly down at the dinner and someone on a megaphone announces the monkeys have arrived. A horde of monkeys descends upon the party, and a caricature of a baboon nibbles my ear. A portly man in a brown suit, glasses, bowler hat and mustache appears, apparently some kind of monkey. He slings me over my shoulder and merrily attempts to abduct me, but he quickly falls asleep and I make my escape. I'm back inside the house, with some people from the dinner inside and chatting. My sister and I look out the windows, and discover that rather than raining cats and dogs, it is in fact raining hats and fish onto the hay bales outside. A man calls me over to show me some kind of kid's book with a picture of an elephant acting as a garden hose, and then I wake up. I do have several more MindScrew dreams, but I'll leave it for now unless someone makes a bullet point asking for more. ** That was awesome. Have a bullet point. ** Another dream I had was where my then-best friend and I are hiding in the shrubbery of a garden to a house I've, again, never been to. A man in a pink zoot suit with a sack over his back and a cocky grin saunters past, and we decide he must be a burglar. Sure enough, we go inside into a room where loads of people are sitting on chairs in a big circle, and we are told that we've been robbed. One woman in glasses gets up and starts singing about how we should cover up everything else or something like that. Meanwhile, I sneak into a secret room where there's a high-tech payphone that shows a rotating hologram of whoever you're calling (For example, a fire truck for the fire department). Anyway, I use it to call Batman (DCAU) and he tells me he's on his way. He straps himself to a jetpack in a rocket centre and blasts off. Him going around the world is represented by a globe with eyes and a mustache being thrown across a canyon. Before long he's arrived, along with ambulances, the police, and a fire department wondering where the fire is. The burgular is taken away looking very downbeat, my family congratulate Batman, and I get to dress up in an oversized batsuit, leading into an EverybodyLaughsEnding. I wake up

soon after. ** Take another bullet point. * This Troper has dreams that often cross between this trope and [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome CMoA]]. Some examples include: a dream revolving around a cyborg cougar with venomous metal claws that can shoot a mild poison, and by 'mild' I mean that it burns through inchthick titanium with no problem; two of my best friends being gay for each other and narrowly avoiding tax evasion charges (they're still in junior high), and getting a standing ovation for a trumpet solo. I DON'T EVEN PLAY TRUMPET. ** Don't talk to loudly, Micheal Bay might get a movie idea. * This troper once had a dream about a tornado warning in his area. It started off with people just coming out of their houses after it had apparently be done raining and thundering. I was one of those people. Suddenly, an otherwise worn out flashing neon sign read out "Tornado warning!" and ordered people to take shelter. For some inexplicable reason, everybody, me and my family included, decided to take shelter in the stores of the nearby shopping center [[FridgeLogic instead of going back into their houses.]] So, me and my family decided to hide in a Taco Shop. It was kind of like Taco Bell, but with the layout of a Dairy Queen. So, my family decides to order some food in the middle of this disaster, and does it one by one. I'm at the end of the line. My dad orders first, then turns to my mom so she can repeat her order to him, so that he may tell the store cashier. When it's finally my turn to go, I turn to my younger sister, who's standing right next to me, repeat my order, and suddenly everything goes weird. [[spoiler:My sister acts as if she didn't even hear me, turns away, and then miraculously, everyone in the store starts acting as if I didn't exist, and started talking about things completely unrelated to what was happening. Then, the "Alone voices" from the time traveling episode of SpongebobSquarepants started repeating themselves in my head. The tornadoes finally came, and everyone started turning into demons and HULA-DANCING. This included the tornadoes.]] Then I woke up. This was in 4th grade. Looking back on it, it would make a great [[GainaxEnding ending]] to a MindScrew series. * When this troper took creative writing at an art camp, one of the activities was starting a story, and then switching places and contributing to another writer's work. My story started as a Mario fanfic and then took a sharp turn into la-la land, all I remember is that it involved [[NoodleImplements dimension hopping, a cheeseburger, a lunch box, living jello, and overall insanity]] and the fact that it was CrazyAwesome. * This troper once wrote a poem for class about the body of a dead mermaid washing up on shore. A huge amount of energy was expended by the workshop on what exactly it ''meant''. Was it about loss of innocence, environmental degradation, invasion from the strange hidden places of the mind? Actually, the motivation was this troper thinking, "If mermaids were real I bet they'd beach themselves like whales, and that'd be really creepy." * An actual line of dialogue spoken at tonight's dinner table: "My God! I can see the future that has already happened!" * This troper, while on vacation in Florida, went to some tourist

attraction (I can't remember the name, I think it was called Wildworks). Things get weird ''before you go inside''; the whole thing looks like a mansion turned upside-down! When you go in, you see that the whole damn thing looks like it was designed by MC Escher himself. I haven't been there for a good 6 years now, but I remember that there was a massive floor piano and a small metal footbridge that actually turns upside-down as you walk. The walls around you look like a vortex. I really wish I could remember more. ** My family went there for vacation about the seven years ago. It also has a bunch of optical illusions and cool games. It also has this bed of needles that doesn't hurt when you lay on it. I'm sad we only spent 30 minutes in there. * Ask [[Tropers.CalamityJane me]] what my dream was like last night. Chances are you'll either laugh your lungs out or stare at me and wonder if I belong in an insane asylum. ** What was your dream like last night? * I had a dream once. It started out as a party my mom was throwing... I don't remember why, but it was. Then my little brother asked to go to the bathroom. And a bunch of things happened and somehow, it ended up with me petting a [[{{Pokemon}} Skitty]] in a janitor's closet while my friend tries to turn off the creepy background music... ** I forgot to mention the plunger in the middle of the Skitty's forehead. * [[Tropers/NickTheSwing This Troper]] has some damn creepy and weird dreams. In one of them, I am running from floating heads of all my past friends that are screaming that they represent my occult fascination with the realms of the azure. [[FlatWhat What?]] This is occurring all while a lady wearing a red and blue dress is talking and her words materialize and levitate into the air and become green text. I am soon enough now forced to evade capture by men with the heads of HowardTheDuck. And the dream ends after a spirit version of myself wearing surfer dude clothes enters and demands to have the lady in the dress..."show me them melons you keep in that dress and make me a sammich." * This Troper once ran a particularly epic GURPS game set in the Warhammer40000 universe, in which (among other things) the heroes' deceased patron Inquisitor was revealed to have never existed, a pair of Farseers held a bet on humanity's ability to solve problems without Eldar aid that prevented them from telling the heroes anything other than that the bet existed, and the ending sequence consisted of [[EverybodysDeadDave every PC and DMPC dying except for the one Inquisitorial acolyte who made it back to the ship...]][[EverybodyLives followed by a narrated post-credits sequence in which everyone was revealed to have lived in strange ways]] (the best was the Commissar, who the rest of the party last saw as a set of elevator doors closed behind her abandoning her to a horde of Necrons, who walked back onto the bridge of their starship around four hours later without any explanation for her survival). I specifically informed the players that they should never assume '''anything''' that I didn't specifically tell them, as it would generally be wrong. * This troper tends to have random dreams that never repeat themselves. One dream was about a mermaid having sex with a

unicorn(which made me think of Carlos mencia's Donkey Show related jokes... Unfortunately). Another was a self-inserted dream which a Willy Wonka-type character takes interest in my art and gives me a magical journey, but it later turns out he's part of the mafia and doesn't care if I live or die that he kicks me into a railroad track while laughing... I forget other dreams, but each one is like I'm Neom in Slumberland. * This troper constantly has dreams that act like stories and have proper plots and conclusions (unless someone wakes me up, that is), but there are always a few weird quirks that prove that its a dream. For example, in one recent dream the following happened (now in first person): ** I forget that my best friend became a very strict Jew, so I ask her to go shopping with me on Shabbat. She refuses and I immediately forget about it and take a MacDonald's meal out of the fridge, which is from some reason full with Happy Meals. A few minutes later, I realize that I won't be able to finish my meal because the phone rings, so I bring the tray back to the lady at the counter (Nope, I don't know how I got there without leaving home) and answer the phone. It's my friend's mother, who is angry at me for violation Shabbat so she forces me to go to a catholic camp as punishment. I board the train and vaguely realize that its the same atmosphere as in a book I once read, so it must mean (a) that something bad is about to happen, and (b) that my appearance mustve changed. Then a guy that I was in love with at the time suddenly appeared and I decided that no matter what, I had to make friends this time, while Im away from home. I talked to him for a while, and it turned out that were actually going to a Jewish camp, not a catholic one. I started to cry because of the fridge logic, and he disappeared. Later in the dream, I found out that it was an all-girls camp so he couldnt have been on the train at all. So I leave the bus, yes, the bus, and we start doing various camp-like activities, but at some point I discover (complete with an ominous horror movie atmosphere) that the whole camp is a plot to make the children do recordings of everything that happens in July. Me and three girls go down to the basement and we find books that are all full with hand-written record of everything that happened in July of the last 200 years, and I suddenly know, just know, that those three girls are the two Big-Bads (that wasnt a typo, I somehow decided that they were actually only two people and not three). I ran away. Then there was someone who looked like a classic Victorian butler, who confessed to be the very first child who recorded July, 200 years ago. I wanted to ask him more questions, but he brought me out and there was the carriage from the Disney Cinderella movie, only that it was black and moved without horses. He waved me goodbye, and suddenly, the guy from my class was next to me again. He started lecturing me about how we went back in time, before the July recorders existed, because I already defeated them by running away, and that July was over. I wanted to ask why they made a 2-week-long camp to record a whole month, and more importantly, what I was going to do from now on, and he said that I was already worthless and hell kill me with his knife. I noticed that his shirt was unbuttoned like Edward Cullens in the Twilight movie, only that Edward wasnt nearly as beautiful. The guy

killed me and we had sex. Then it turned out that I couldn't be dead because he forgot his knife at MacDonald's, but then I ''was'' dead, and then we both became ghosts. I was angry at him, so I decided to go find Bella Cullen and kill her because my boyfriend is sexier and I'm more immortal than her because I'm already dead. As a weapon, I took bottle of that gross oil that MacDonald's keeps recycling when making cheaps. Believe it or not, things got even more stupid (and I completely disappeared from the story, becoming a normal third-person narrator with no opinion) when it turned out that Bella was already dead because Zero from Vampire Knight killed her, and he was now fighting Voldemort, who was shouting the "HALF-BREAD! HALF-BREAD! HALF-BREAD!" line from that awful Twilight fanfic. Then Hisoka from Hunter X Hunter came and killed 'em all. I woke up and realized that I wasn't in an MMORPG anymore (not that I was before). Then I woke up again, this time for real. *** Dude, this is way too long. *** [[ThisIsSparta THAT. WAS. EPIC!]] *** I ''love'' how everything got increasingly more chaotic and surreal right before you woke up. * I like to think my [[http://www.freewebs.com/welcometolemora2/ short stories, novels]] and [[http://scratchpad.wikia.com/wiki/The_Belch_Dimension_Comics comic series]] are mindscrew. Many of my stories detail bizarre dreams I have had or that someone tells me about (Josef Stalin in a commercial for Pepsi Cola, that should tell you a lot). [[http://smokingcatcomicsandcollectibles2.webs.com/bdcomish57.htm This comic script]], which grew longer and more bizarre with each draft, is essentially ''[[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Psycho Psycho]]'' with a time machine. * @/RainbowPoof had a dream once involving hundreds upon hundreds of cats. They kept leaping in through the windows, and eventually squeezing through cracks in the walls. I tried grabbing them and shoving them back out through the windows, but they were just coming in too quickly. I opened the front door and stuck my head out, expecting to see millions of cats waiting for their turn to jump into my house, but instead... I saw my normal, empty yard. And when I closed the door and turned around to look back at the room I was in, the cats were gone. Freaky. * This troper once had a dream that he was going to school. Everything was ordinary. That was when I noticed that people's faces were becoming [[TheBlank less detailed]]. I was freaking out, and that somehow protected me from the over-normalization. Anyways, I burst out of class, now [[InstrumentofMurder wielding my baritone saxophone like a]] {{BFS}}. Then I found the girl that I had (and still have) a crush on, and I noticed that her face wasn't un-detailing either. She told me she noticed it as well, and was about to tell me something else, when the faceless army of my classmates, now all wearing [[InstitutionalApparel straight-jackets]], started moaning (without mouths, mind you) an eerie remix of [[SuzumiyaHaruhi Hare Hare Yukai]]. Then, all of a sudden, we were in the {{Submachine}}, and my baritone saxophone was now inscribed with the number [[TroperTales/ArcNumber 127]]. The girl, who was still with me, is

crying in pain from the moaning. Then, all of a sudden, as I reach down to comfort her, disappeared. Now, with a reason to attack, I started playing [[CrowningMusicofAwesome a rock remix of the Lavender Town BGM from]] {{Pokemon}}. And then, it got weirder. The [[TheHeartless faceless school]] started claiming to be Anonymous. However, I was already gathering the shards, as I have practically memorized the first Submachine game. When I head into the elevator, though, [[SpaceisMagic I end up in space]]. I see millions of windows, each leading to what I presume is [[AlternateUniverse another universe]]. Then, I see the girl's mellophone.I pick it up and shout her name. Then, I see a spiral. The spiral is now a door, which is now a swan, which is now gone. The windows open, and the faceless have returned. I scream for the [[OsuTatakaeOuendan Ouendan]], and the space I can see is now resembling [[{{Pokemon}} Missingno.]] I see a scythe and grab it, and throw Blackadder into a window. (Strangely, a friend of mine the next day mentioned seeing a snake in their dream...) I hear static, and 127 appears everywhere. I stand strong. I approach the faceless, and said, "You may be legion, but I am... I... am..." I passed out. I awoke in a locked room. I was now in a straight-jacket. I saw [[AlienGeometries something I cannot describe]]. It filled me with the realization that the girl I [[FreudianSlip lo- er, like]] is probably in danger. And then I was in space again. But this time, I had [[{{BFG}} taken precautions]] for if I have to deal with them. Then I saw her. Through one of the windows. She was in a straight jacket, but this one had wires attached to it. I saw her, and [[CrowningMomentofAwesome smashed through the window between universes, tearing her free of the wires]]. After I removed the duct tape from her mouth, she told me to look out behind me. Then I saw it. [[NightmareFuel A fusion of Giygas, Slender Man, Cthulhu, and]] [[HighOctaneNightmareFuel 4chan.]] I told her to get out through the portal, which was still open. She said no, because it [[TheReveal wasn't really her]], and she was actually the [[BigBad Big Bad]] the whole time. [[HeroicBSOD I then shot everything, danmaku-style.]] Then my dream became an anime, and [[LArcEnCiel New World]] was the [[AnimeThemeSong Anime Theme Song]]. I was standing on the edge of reality. I saw the Big Bad, the [[EldritchAbomination Hybrid]], and then, tied up behind them, the girl. I fought against the two fiends, and lost. But then, my best friends appeared and started fighting back the fiends. With the last of my strength, I pulled myself to the girl, and untied her. A light was emitted, destroying the fiends. The girl was happy, joyous actually. She was just about to thank me, when I woke up. Yeah. Even waking up screwed my mind. ** that is so cool ** On another note, apparently she has a boyfriend already. [[CloudCuckooLander Oh well, at least I've moved on to the past!]] * I had a rather odd dream two days ago. It involved me going to my high school and meeting an old teacher of mine. She kept asking people where the motel was (fun fact; my town has no such thing) and everyone kept ignoring her. So I walked on ahead to the rotunda and found that one wing was replaced with the aforementioned motel, and the other with a sprawling shopping mall/airport hybrid. Before I know it, I'm teleported to a London-bound plane. For whatever reason, it was going

to other airports to pick passengers up (there weren't supposed to be connecting flights, mind you). As we descend into Ueda Airport - yes, a Japanese city is all of a sudden its own island, O heard a woman ask "Does anyone need to go to school today?" and then [[NightmareFuel the engines died and the plane went down.]] ''Right'' as that happened, [[{{Irony}}a low-flying plane woke me up.]] * I once had a dream, that makes absolutely no sense at all. First of all, Todd and Riley from TheReplacements see a giant TowerOfDoom. For some reason, they decide to climb it. After they trek to the 134th floor, the see a room that looks like a middle school student's bedroom, except it's giant. They climb up the giant dresser, and there is a empty soda can laying on it's side. Then, a woman floats out of it. [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking This woman has two heads, no feet or legs, and was wearing a silver dress.]] She teleports them to the top floor, after Todd falls into a pit of lava that randomly appeared. At the top floor, was Gantu from LiloAndStitch. The woman, who my mind referred to as 'Witch', suddenly gains a trident and zaps Gantu with an energy blast. Then it starts to rain ''fried chicken''. Then Witch says, with a British accent, "Have you seen my shadow travel, Riley? Oh, there it is." They then teleport to the bottom, and pillows and feathers appear around them. Then the dream ends. [[FlatWhat What.]] * This troper loves time travel stuff. And, thankfully, has a very well-developed mind that can comprehend multiple paradoxes and doesn't get completely thrown off by things like M.C. Escher paintings and "Inception" plots. The [[MindScrew mind screw]] part goes to his friends, most of which can't even follow me when I try to explain the first plot point or paradox in any given time travel story or whatever. Apparently most of my friends are stupid (and they have no shame in admitting it to me. No shame at all). * Pretty much any dream [[{{Tropers/nekoalexa}} this troper]] has is completely made up of MindScrew. They all include at least one of the following (although most just happen within the same dream, causing this troper to write it down in her diary for further examination): monsters, ghosts, freaky music, videogame characters, TV characters, anime characters, celebrities, constantly changing scenery, epic battles (usually with guns, swords, super powers, etc.), brainwashing, giant bathrooms (don't ask), aliens, space travel, guys I like (happened pretty much all through out high school), burning houses, haunted mansions, tornadoes, the moon looking like a skull, secret passages leading to impossible places, huge ships, ancient ruins, dance contests, the apocalypse, modeling, movies, staircases of doom, motorcycles, secret agents, daycares, haunted churches, rave parties, camping, vampires, guns, family committing suicide, huge malls, flying, being naked when people are standing right next to me, and heavy metal concerts (my favorite). * This troper recently watched a new episode of [[SpongebobSquarepants Spongebob Squarepants]]. In my opinion, the new episodes aren't nearly as good as the originals; yet still, it keeps Mind Screwing you to no end for no apparent reason, and it does it pretty well for a children's show. This particular episode went a little more overboard than usual (anything involving the Flying Dutchman does, alongside occasional [[NightmareFuel Nightmare Fuel]], which may or may not be

toned-down [[HighOctaneNightmareFuel Unleaded fuel]], but still), but my point is that Spongebob and his buddies live in a fairly humorous distorted world. * The This Man thing noted on one of the NightmareFuel pages took another level of weird for this troper. It was a dream I simply call the Michael Dream. I am a monarch, no build up, no nothing, then someone tries to kill me, and I parry his long dagger by drawing a BFS. Cut to a weird planet like the [[FinalFantasy7 Gold Saucer]], where there is a series of games that decide who gets their wish granted. I don't remember much of the first three games, except the end of the third one: me playing Yugioh and defeating someone with a 600 atk. Cyber Twin Dragon...before I even knew Cyber Twin Dragon existed. And the set with CTD was months away. It gets weirder. And cryptic. And with lots and lots of really, really weird symbolism. There's a motorcycle race, my attempted killer is there...and then we turn our motorcycles into HumongousMecha and fight. Then mine absorbs a weird lance by being impaled through the heart by it, gets six wings, becomes made of pure white light, becomes more broken than Sosuke Aizen, and promptly curbstomps the assassin so hard his machine vaporizes then explodes into a big cross. Then his mask burns off as his motorcycle nearly crashes, and I see its my...old friend from somewhere, some ''when'' named Michael. This Man, as noted by the NightmareFuel page. Then the planet starts exploding and splitting apart and giant naked featureless girls kill the corrupt president of Gaming World with Ceros fired from their mouths. Then that old lady from TheLifeAndTimesOfJuniperLee talks about how, since the race was not finished, the cursed boy remains cursed forever. WHAT THE FUCK!!!! * This troper had a dream about sharks. Two feet long. All colors of the rainbow. Leaping out of ''the goddamn toilet.'' * This troper has dreams that are very weird and detailed. The weirdest one involved him trying to get Spongebob acquitted of 1st degree murder charges, running away from his gym teacher in a crowded airport, fighting Phoebe, Monica and Rachel (from ''Friends'') and attempting to rescue his family from an airplane/roller coaster after they were kidnapped by a flight attendant * [[http://hanuueshe.livejournal.com/191914.html This]] conversation I just had with my sister. I'd accuse her of making it up, but she's not good at making things up without giggling, and she was completely matter of fact the entire time. * 6 ** look behind you *** 5 ** the tree is waiting *** 4 ** death is a fish and i am the fisher *** 3 *** we are the oversight ** 2 *** begin the procedure ** 26 *** there is no pattern * Happened to this troper's parents. They were driving out of state,

and they needed to stop somewhere for a break. They had stopped at this old, dusty-looking (from their description) truck stop and walked in. Inside, the store was clean, well organized, and there was a man in there dressed in a suit. * This Troper had a dream about waking up in a hotel room, but it was all animated. It turned out that this was after the end of the world, and this was actually a cartoon reflection of a once glorious hotel. Everything talked, as you would expect from a toon world, and there was a stove who was very curious about the real world, as well as a weird monkey like thing who looked like Jeff Dunham's peanut. After talking to him, I was put under arrest for failing to be spectacular enough for that world. I was put on trial by an evil gameshow host, and his accomplice, an evil general (who was such a damn good general he had EIGHT stars) but proved my innocence by pointing out that, as this was after the end of the world, I must therefore be dead. And because this clearly took place in the US, a dead person can't be tried or convicted for a crime. And therefore, despite clearly having had an unspectacular introduction, I must be found not guilty by reason of being dead. Then the gameshow host and the general tried to kill me anyway, but boyfriend and I escaped, and somehow proved that, in fact, the gameshow host and the general had destroyed the world in order to get to the toon world and be immortal. Then it turned out to have all been a hit movie, and there was a sequel, which was alright, but put more emphasis on the weird peanut thing. Then my lover and I commissioned a third movie, for our baby to star in. And then myself, and my genre savvy costars, all sang a song about how third movies always suck. And the whole dream was a musical. It rhymed. I've got the lyrics that I remembered somewhere. * This Troper has had some very odd dreams. There is this one really long, really weird one that she remembers almost in its entirety. It starts out with a bunch of old-fashioned Victorian ladies in frilly, lacy dresses standing looking out windows in a very mannequin-like fashion and talking, but the talking didn't register as sound and instead appeared as text in a little text-box like they have in video games. Then I'm walking along a gravel road and there's some dispute between this man and this woman but I don't know anything about them so I just look at the gravel and walk on. Then I become some kind of Omniscient Narrator person or something floating and looking at things from a random angle. Since the dream didn't make sense anyway, it decided to involve a guy who had a [[HalfHumanHybrid half dragon]] kid (I think black dragon?) and didn't know about it. And he was driving a car somewhere with his wife and the kid came and found them. The wife killed the husband and then the half-dragon killed the wife and then she flew away and crashed into the side of a mountain, which was covered in gravel (I was seeing through her eyes for that part). That was the part of the dream that made the most sense. And then it was back in the town with the ladies in Victorian/Colonial gowns at windows, except now they all look like Disney princesses, or at least I'm pretty darn sure I saw Sleeping Beauty and Snow White. Then it cuts to some town, looks like someplace in England, and the BigBad from a story I'm writing walks through muttering something about how the people in the town have bad taste in architecture (which they

don't). It was about then that I realized I was dreaming. Then I was back with the ladies in Victorian dress and we were in a garden with a gravel path and a bunch of flytraps, except the flytraps are hidden behind rosebushes and I seem to be the only one who can see them. And then the half-dragon girl comes back and jumps into the pond in the middle of the garden and she doesn't come up so I think she drowned. And the BigBad from the story I'm writing is back again and he kills a few of the random girls and then vanishes. Then I go back inside the house that this garden comes off of and assassinate Hitler with an Eldar shuriken pistol, then I jump out the window and land in a lake and under the water is this town and I can somehow breathe underwater and everything is completely clear, but when I'm above the water I can't see anything but blue. So I swim down to the city and one of my friends since childhood is there and she tells me that this is some kind of magic place where only good people can get too but the definition of good is being used too loosely and there are a bunch of AntiSue characters that need to get pulled out of the lake so we go and find a few of the buildings where these characters live and put balloons on them to make them float up to the surface, and then bubbles come out of her mouth and she gets sucked into this vortex in the ground, and then the scene changes and I'm on a spaceship and I talk a bit with my DarkHeresy character, who gets convinced I'm a heretic and fires a bolt pistol at my head, and then I wake up and go about my morning routine only to find that outside is one of those women in Victorian dress and she pushes me onto a bus and we go to the basement of some warehouse in Seattle where a woman in a blue dress who looks a bit like my English teacher but with red hair tells us that there's going to be an asteroid impact and then I go outside and I can see the thing coming toward the Earth and it looks a bit like one of the planets on the cover of {{Spore}}. Then aliens come and start frying everything and I'm stuck in my house with a few other people and a computer with an Internet connection and for some reason everything looks all gray and we're all afraid to go upstairs to get anything because we think the aliens will kill us if we do, and so I go up to get my cat and I've got her and I come downstairs and then we here explosions outside and then... I woke up. For real. * When I was very little, my mother took me and my brother to Jordan's Furniture. The employees were handing out warm chocolate-chip cookies. I remember this vividly. I also vividly remembered a blue Muppet-like guy in a wheelchair who chatted with us for a while. His name was Scooter. I had this memory for years, but whenever we went to the furniture store after that, he wasn't there. My mother and brother never mentioned him again. Finally, when I was older, the memory randomly came to me and I realized how ludicrous it was. Why the hell would there be a freakin' Muppet in a wheelchair at a furniture store? I figured it must have been from a dream that I mistook for reality. I logged it away as a dream for several more years. Until the day I told the story up until this point to my little sister. She had asked me about an old, obscure TV show. I said that I vaguely remembered it, but felt like it was so obscure that sometimes I wondered if it was ever even real. I then told her about the Scooter situation, which I had come to excellent terms with by this point. Just as I was

finishing up, my mother entered the room and said offhandedly, "Oh, Scooter? Yeah, I remember him." So, after my first ever BSOD, I decided for the sake of my sanity that she was probably just messing with me. She went on to describe a blue, Muppet-like character in a motorized chair at Jordan's Furniture. Where my brother and I ate cookies. A new Jordan's Furniture was built closer to our home, though, so that was the only time we ever went to the one with Scooter. I asked my brother if he remembered Scooter. He did. In addition, he remembered that Scooter was wearing a hat. I can't even explain just how screwed up this news has made me. ** .... [[CandleCove An obscure, barely-remembered TV show?]] * This past October, I attended an event at my high school called Horrorfest. The theme this year was "Dr. Frankenstein's Return", and among the cast and crew was a woman banging a chair across the ground shouting "TAKE YOUR PLACES!!!", zombies asking for a round of applause for doing absolutely nothing, and a man in a banana suit beating a baby doll against the edge of a table. [[FlatWhat What.]] * [[{{Tropers/Crion87}} This troper]] knows it's likely a saner example than anything before this example, but there was this dream where these strange invaders in power armour had ''beaten the United States in a war'', the Chinese were getting attacked by the same power-armoured invaders, and apparently Tehran, the capital of Iran, had been completely destroyed by the invaders as well. Inverted in that the invaders had only been mentioned in propaganda and that the dream was more about a propaganda tour of [[{{RussiansWithRustingRockets}} the Russian army]] in Traralgon which was where [[{{Tropers/Crion87}} this troper]] was living at the time the Russians and Australia had [[[{{FlatWhat}} apparently made an alliance]] against whoever the power-armoured invaders were. What stumps this troper is who the invaders were, since he never saw them, on TV or otherwise in the dream, although it was known in that dream the enemy were ''[[{{TransplantedHumans}} revealed to be humans]]''. For some reason, for [[{{Tropers/Crion87}} this troper]], he has enough dreams where he somehow finds himself in an alternate reality of some kind or another for such dreams to be fairly normal and hardly remembers any of them in detail. For some reason, at the times when his (now permanently ex-)girlfriend tried to rebound or otherwise contact him, [[{{DreamingOfThingsToCome}} he had a strange dream where she was present as many as three days before]]. Similar dreams have occurred where said ex-girlfriend was replaced in the role with others but none of them correspond to anyone he knows or has met - yet. And sometimes there's that one dream in a million that's either personal FetishFuel or personal HighOctaneNightmareFuel - however he did once have a nightmare about [[{{Warhammer40000}} the Necrons]] and when he woke up he thought it was [[{{CrowningMomentOfAwesome}} the coolest nightmare ever]]. ** Uh oh, a dream more for the MindScrew records - in the dream, [[{{Tropers/Crion87}} this troper]] was someone living on this little 1950s-style island community, everyone was young, white, and we were raised in this cookie-cutter 1950s Truman Show type little world, but we were told to avoid going to the beaches at night, as we heard that the mainland had suffered a terrible apocalypse and the evil Dark

Worlders would snatch us for experiments; but that the island was small and couldn't support everyone, and that on our twenty-fifth birthday, we would be shipped out to another island on which to live. I happened to be one of the inhabitants of this community who didn't quite get the program and, after a female friend was sent on the boats to the new island, felt something was wrong with the whole place, and began hanging around with these strange, secretive outsiders. I went down to the beach at night after receiving an anonymous but handwritten letter daring me to 'find out the secrets of the Dark World' and, thinking it a dare by bullies, I did. Cue a speedboat with guys looking like they belonged to a paramilitary outfit with beanies and rough-edged, khaki jackets and blue armbands with a symbol on them, who grabbed me and hauled me onto their boat, but saying, "It's OK, this is a rescue operation, this is for your own good," and sped away to the mainland - then I was held in a room, and it was revealed to be by those we called the Dark Worlders on the speedboats, and the outsiders, were the same group, working as a human rights operation to attempt to expose a government-run dating website who matched eligible Caucasian partners to Australian citizens (Australia had been taken over by a [[{{ANaziByAnyOtherName}} white-supremacist apartheid fascist government]]) [[{{TownWithADarkSecret}} but the source of said prospects was the island me and the others were living on]] - and that the new histories of the dating site 'prospects' were given their 'new' histories by a [[{{MindRape}} vicious]] [[{{MindProbe}} technological memory rewrite device]] [[{{AgonyBeam}} that was incredibly painful]] - ''that past female friend being yet another victim'' - apparently, the fascist government wanted to make sure every white person only married other whites, and ''created the island community as a charm school'' to get 'prospects' - as the UN had sanctioned that fascist Australia to the hilt and prevented overseas travel there. Thus, the so-called Dark World guys were actually LaResistance, and I began working with them to save enough people, in the hopes of exposing this dodgy government dating-site program to the world, which even to the UN was secret. * Try taking 5 sleeping pills (I assume you're moral enough to avoid drugs). You'll completely understand Hunter S. Thompson's line: "Did I just say that? Or was I just thinking?" ** Sadly, this troper does not require any sort of drugs to understand that line. * [[Tropers/KatanaCat I]] logged on to Tinychat one day at a friend's request. One of their friends, Colton, had turned on the video chat option. I told him we (my family) only have a limited amount of high speed bandwidth, that his choice was sucking it away, and that I would rather use it to download subbed episodes of ''TokyoMewMew'' among other things. He refused to turn the option off, so I went "Fine. If you're going to make me look at your face, I can at least have some fun. Your mind is now my toy" and proceeded to say incredibly random stuff, until he said something along the lines of "Katie has issues!" It was worth it, just to see the look on his face. The random things I remember saying are: --> Welcome to a pair of dice~! --> One time I met your grandfather he had eyes as nice as boats~!

--> Farewell to knees and berries! --> Magikarp, I choose you! (After this, he said I have issues) --> * This insomniac troper frequently has mindscrewy dreams. Frequently. Last night, I dreamed that my ex and I had been made color-coded (blue and green, respectively) demi-gods and were welcomed into an ornate palace in the middle of a frozen desert. The palace resembled a cross between Asgard from [[TooHuman Too Human]] and some D'ni creation from {{Myst}}. We were the youngest demi-gods, and we were being granted the memories of our predecessors, who became distracted by [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean pleasures of the flesh]], with 'Yellow', 'Red' and 'White'. It turned out that this was a ploy by 'Black' and 'Clear' to keep everyone distracted, so that they could move the palace on it's enormous tram-line to a forested mountain city and rule the world. We realized what was going on and sent our robotic (still color-coded) minions out to stop them. Then it turned out that we were playing pretend. In the bath. On a passenger train. * I had yet ''another'' strange dream about a week ago. I was in a video game that looked like a MetroidPrime knockoff that took place in a submarine. After killing a bunch of floating alien heads with the [[KingdomHeartsBirthBySleep Unversed]] symbol on them, I walk into a series of glass cages. I don't remember what was in most of them, but I do remember seeing Kraid in there somewhere. I eventually stop at one cage with some sort of red glowing alien hornet in it, and shooting the glass out with a dagger. The bee suddenly became 6 feet tall and started chasing me, so what do I do? Jump into the water (that somehow isn't getting into the submarine). Then I got strangled by a man wearing all black and woke up...in a hotel room on the Jersey shore with a black eye. My grandma is staring out of the window, then she turns to me and calmly says, "We have to get you out of here". She then walks with me outside and promptly [[NeverMessWithGranny starts beating the everlasting shit out of a police officer and hijacks a Disneyland tour bus.]] Nobody in the bus seemed to mind. She then started driving the bus at 130 MPH up a mountain that materialized in the middle of the road, as I'm telling her about the earlier part of my dream. Then a ball made of sound rolls onto the road and brings the bus to a total halt right in front of my house. I ran away in terror. * Same troper as above. I had a series of 3 Mind Screw dreams, all connected. In the first, I went to my local arcade and found the pads on their InTheGroove machine had been taken out. I then noticed that a DanceDanceRevolution [=X2=] machine was also there. I run over, excited...only to notice that this too had no pads, just turntables with arrows on them. There were flash drives attached to it, for some reason. I shrug and step out onto the bus (which wasn't there a minute beforehand) and find myself going at 200 MPH to Boston for a track meet. They had a practice room that looked exactly like the training room at my school. So I go in, work out for about 15 minutes, then decide to go the bathroom. Because the room is in a separate building, I go over to the school next door. My friend's boyfriend is standing there, blocking the door and, with an overly cheery voice, tells me the school was on fire (which it was) and that I couldn't go in. So, I go back into the practice room...and onto the computer that most

definitely was not there. I am now dressed in a long sleeved shirt and jeans, when originally I was wearing shorts and a T-shirt. I call my dad and ask him to print out and bring over lyrics to a song, because my printer was gone. So, he comes over in a Hyundai Elantra, and I get in the car with him. I notice somebody that looks about 8 years old in the front seat. I ask my dad "Who the hell is this?" He responds "This is David. We're taking him to meet his boyfriend." He then takes off at speeds no Hyundai should go at. (Why do all my dreams involve impossibly fast cars?) We then crash into some sort of stone cylinder. I shoot out of the windshield and right through the skylight of "Seaside School". I get up, unharmed, to find there are all these people running sideways. I try to avoid them, and eventually get out through the front door. I then run at top speed across the boardwalk to where the cylinder was. David is there, but my dad and the Elantra are both gone. David tells me that he had been arrested for child abuse. It starts raining oil, and then the dream ends. Huh? * Some of this Troper's dreams turn this UpToEleven. For example the time she was convinced that she was dreaming ''someone else's'' dream. It was a nightmare, actually, but this Troper was not afraid of it because it was not ''her'' nightmare. ** Also, one night this Troper spent many hours lying in her bed, unable to fall asleep and increasingly annoyed because she needed to get up early that morning. Then the alarm clock went off [[AllJustADream and she woke up]]. * This Troper was on a [[GameFAQs site]] in an open-ended scriptformat RP that somewhat parodied JRPGs. My character, Parallel, had released an EldritchAbomination, known as [[BilingualBonus Ard Ri]] that was sealed inside him. After the two were trapped in the [[HaruhiSuzumiya Closed Space]]-like area that Parallel was a RealityWarper in, this happened: Parallel: *clutches his head* *feathers start swirling around* Ard Ri: *is in the form of a constellation without stars* Parallel: *various faces flash around* Ard Ri: *head twists upside down* Parallel: *eyes turn white* Ard Ri: *heads eat each other* Parallel: *sees... someone* [[ChivalrousPervert Yula]] ([[OutOfCharacter OOC]]): Who is this 'someone' if I may ask? Parallel (OOC): Someone who, based on the nature of the reality warp, appears as a variety of people. * This troper had a messed up dream that she loves to share. It always

makes people freak out: I was trick-or-treating and as I came to each house, everybody yelled at me and said it was December! I looked around and the sky was black and desolate. I don't know WHAT neighborhood I was in! I looked up in the sky and It started raining waffles! I ran to get under somebody's house and I met cartoon characters, whom i could not understand their mumbling. I decided to try and talk to Scooby-Doo on the other side of the garage. He talked real loud, yet he was talking like "rooby-dooby-roo", with only the letter r. I gave up and ran out side and met my friend, who was waiting for me, we rode off to a hill which was actually a cliff. We jumped into the air and I vomited and we flew off, like in Grease. ~ [[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Tropers/Squidage Squidage]] * This Troper had a dream that went like this: I was in my classroom sitting, when my teacher left. Then a monkey came in and yelled something incomprehensible. Then I found myself swimming at a pool made of grape juice and I looked up and the sun kept growing, growing, until someone got me out of the pool and said: "Go to the forest". Then I was teleported to a forest in a scene that would probably relate to an acid trip, then a construction platform started popping out of the ground and I hyper-jumped in it. Then there was a clone of myself on the other side. I said: "Dude, I'm having this totally weird dream." My clone replied: "It's a filler." Then I somehow wound up in a theater after travelling through places beyond imagination which somehow linked to each other. The theater screen said: "Hey there. This is a rainbow. Get ready to return to the land of the living in five seconds." Then I once again wound up in a forest, sitting on a branch of wood and chatting with two tree hugging elves playing a psychedelic song with mandolins. Then the dream ended. It's a shame I don't remember the song, 'cuz it was too damn good. * I had a dream last night that went something like this: I was on a secret mission with a bunch of people who I don't know (probably secret agents). We had to take over a mad dictator's state which was on a tiny tropical island. As we got closer to capturing him I discovered he was actually [[BigBrotherIsWatching watching us the whole time]] from his throne on a very tall and steep Mayan pyramid. I climbed the whole pyramid by myself, only to find he has vanished into thin air. I got really scared at the sheer height I was at atop the pyramid, and I realized I want to wake up badly. Then I woke up! And my dad came into my room and told me we are flying to San Francisco the same night. So we left for the airport and the plane took off and it was really fun in there, there was a whole city inside the plane. Then in the middle of the fun the dream ended and I saw end credits rolling in front of my eyes, like in a movie. In the beginning they rolled slowly but started to move faster and faster until I got dizzy, and then I finally woke up for real. OrIsIt ? * This troper once had a dream after finishing a game I'd been playing for months (can't remember which one). I dreamt that I was at the premier for a movie of the game and I had the best seats in the house. As soon as the film started I found myself in a scene and I had no clue what was going on. I sort of went with it for a while and after about an hour of repeating lines from the game, the end credits rolled

and I found myself back in the cinema again. Then everyone stood up, grabbed the seats, pulled them up and started whacking each other with them. I promptly woke up after Johnny Depp smacked me on the back of the head with a seat. * [[{{Tropers/SoapMagic}} This troper]] once had a dream that he and his father went to New York via walking down a flight of stairs in their home. Somehow we were transported from our home in Connecticut to a building in New York. We decided to go to a restaurant. For some reason, a bathroom stall was literally next to the tables, and it was open. A small Asian woman was doing her business in there. Suddenly, her girlfriend started attacking my father for looking at her while in the bathroom stall. Later, my father managed to have a conversation with Bathroom Woman's ex-husband, which was about how crazy the two ladies are. * This one just happened this evening. I went out to get some dinner from a local Mexican place, and sat in the cantina area to eat. When I got there, the big screen TV in the cantina area was on a Spanish Language channel as it usually is. I thought nothing of it, until someone changed the channel to an NBA game between the Heat and the Spurs on ESPN. As a result of what I later figured out to be some promo the Spurs were running, the players all had logos with Spanish language names on the front of their jerseys ("El Heat" and "Los Spurs" respectively.) For a minute, I thought I was seeing things, since even with all the modern technology we have, I'm pretty sure nobody's figured out how to translate the logos on the fronts of sports jerseys in real time JUST yet. Even after I figured out what was going on, I had to go check ESPN on my phone just to make sure I wasn't seeing things. * This troper had a dream once where it was apparently so bright, we could see the FoxNewsChannel HQ in New York, but we were in Fresno, CA, and then we went into some prison and the prisoners started vomiting black-purple liquid, and then we were in this book/video game/movie store, and the vendor was talking, and then we were on something that looked like the [[KingdomHearts Station of Awakening]], and then some dick dad started yelling at his kid, and- yeah. * This troper had a dream where some guy in a cowboy pattern car was trying to saw her house in half. He succeeded, leaving troper's family confused. Her family managed to [[BeyondTheImpossible fix the house in under an hour]], so she decided to go outside and play. Well, she was about to go outside when she saw the guy's car coming toward her house AGAIN!! He sawed the house in half again, leaving the family even more confused than before. Troper's dad told her to go follow him and see what he's up to, which she did. She hid behind a neighbor's car and watched the guy (he was dressed as a {{Cowboy}}) get out of his car with a large rifle. He was walking toward the house troper was hiding in front of. He saw her and aimed the rifle at her. Troper closed her eyes bracing herself for the gunshot, and that's when she woke up. Her only response when she woke up was "''Huh??''" * One of this tropers most mindscrewing dreams went something like this: It took place in Tesco's for some reason, this troper was buying an Elle magazine, and suddenly the entire Harry Potter cast burst through the doors. Hermione pulls out a lightsaber and uses the Force

to blow Voldemort into the car magazine section, and this troper quickly ducks for cover. Then a cross between a wizards duel and a lightsaber battle breaks out, with the Tesco's staff joining in just for the hell of it and throwing grenades. Then somehow Harry is killed, and the Death Eaters stick him in a trolley and roll him down the bread isle, with the funeral march playing in the background. Then this troper wakes up... Weirdest and best dream she's EVER had! * A few years ago, I was having extremely vivid dreams with recurring elements, so in order to better figure out what my subconscious was trying to tell me, I used to keep a dream journal. Here's one of the early entries: (Notes : the 'you' in the text refers to my girlfriend at the time. Our relationship was sort of a bumpy ride and the dreams weren't helping. And 'The Cowboy' is a recurring figure in most of my MindScrew dreams. It looks a bit like Carl McCoy from Fields of the Nephilim, except I can never see his face, just the glow of his eyes.)"Dream #03, written: August 27th, 2008, 07:10am. The dream starts as I get off the plane in New York City, where I'm going to spend a while, away from everything else in my life. But then, almost immediately, I get arrested for being foreign, a headbanger, and in the wrong place at the wrong time, apparently there is some sort of "riot" going on, with a lot of screaming about anarchy and the end of fascism. I spend two nights in jail, watched over by surprisingly gentle and nice female guards. When they book me out, the first thing I do is go buy myself new shoes, as the shockingly BRIGHT YELLOW Dr Martens I bought right before getting arrested are now in ruins for some untold reason. The next part of the dream kicks in in the mall where I buy my new boots, which seems to be filled with strange, interesting people, especially girls that appear to be my own age. By the way, I seem to be about ten years younger than usual. Apparently I spend a few days in the mall, and there is something getting mixed in with either high school or college (classes, a classroom, assholes picking on me 'cuz I wear black and listen to strange music... so clich). While in the mall, I become friends with a group of girls, most likely foreign exchange students, as one of them is Spanish and another German. Even in my dreams, it seems, I suffer from the SuperHero Syndrome, because when a group of guys I know from the above high school/college show up and start harassing the girls rather violently, I get up from my bench and proceed to kick their asses under the cheers of the shopping crowd. When I finally decide to leave the mall, the girls want to thank me and each give me a hug and a kiss on the cheek, and a variety of small gifts: incense, new rings to replace those I broke/lost during the fight, a new coat, a wallet, a keyring, etc... This is when I realize that I'm dressed exactly as the Cowboy, minus the hat. This chapter of the dream ends when I leave the mall, to wander about NYC. Curiously enough, I don't seem to have any sort of permanent accommodation, nor do I seem bothered about it. I wander about the streets, talking to random people, until I get to a beach. I walk along the beach, still not alone, and along a drainage canal, I see a white hand come out of the water, grab a seagull and dive back in. Nobody else seems to have seen it. But as I look closer, I see a whole family of white-dressed/skinned "fishpeople" living under the water. I know it's a family because there's a woman, a man, and three

kids including one in a babychair sitting around the dinner table. Apparently no one can see them apart from me, and when a kid with a toy harpoon pokes it into the canal, it goes right through the man's cheek and he starts screaming with his eyes fixed on me. After this, he shouts at me in Spanish and asks me if I can see him. I answer yes, and then the scene changes to a street, still in NYC, and the man is now wearing a creased white suit and carrying a thick bundle of papers. You're with me now, and the guy tries to explain to us that he's been stuck here forever and that the papers he's holding are a way out, but he's not taking it because it would mean leaving his family behind and he can't decide what he desires more: to leave this place or to remain with his family. When you and I look at the papers, we see one in particular, handwritten in black ink on white paper: a collection of strange sentences (that I can't recall now) that strike us as being extremely important and seems to be showing a literal way out of the world. There's something about "going to the stars", something else about "flying beyond". I can't explain why, but I know I have to deal with this alone, and I send you on your way, promising to meet you once I'm finished with the man in the white suit. He explains to me why he's got those papers and why he wants to/must leave (I forgot when I woke up, though), and he asks me to help him. I agree to, knowing I'm the only person in the entire world capable of helping him. He hugs me and cries on my shoulder, while I talk him through it. When he tells me he's going, I turn and walk away without looking back. The final part of the dream starts as a reach a kiosk/terrace in front of a pub called the "Crowned One", I think. There's a few goths and metalheads hanging around the place, and I ask them if they've seen you. One of the guys tells me "A cute girl with black hair, a snakebite and mysterious exotic eyes? Yeah, sure, she's inside getting drinks for you." And then you're right next to me with two pints of beer, a waiter brings us a plate of fish'n'chips, and you ask me if I've seen a shop called "Tudor", which should be around here somewhere. I look up and I see the shop, right across the street. You hurry off, telling me you have something to retrieve, a present apparently, from girls you know. I know the present is a pair of rings for your snakebite, and when you come back to our table, you're carrying a wooden box painted with colorful stripes and you're all happy and full of laughter. And then I look up behind you and I see a guy against a chainlink fence showing little flashcards written in Japanese. I can even read the subtitles: "Don't get down", "Look", "It's Time", "It's Beginning". And then it's like I'm watching a movie: I see a wide panoramic shot of NYC, there's some sort of explosion around the Chrysler Building, but I see that it's actually a small rocket that flies straight up and then starts coming down towards the city, and when it hits the city, I know it's a nuke and I think "That's it, we're all going to die now." And I see the explosion, not a nuke though, because there is no really bright flash, no shockwave that flattens the buildings, but I know that 80% of NYC just died right then. And then I'm back in the city, looking at emergency vehicles evacuating people. I can hear a voice-over, like a documentary, something about "after spending two days evacuating the dead, we can now start looking for survivors" and after a pause "This

is the singularity, it came when it should have, and it's alone". I'm very scared, and horrified, and I see emergency crews in boats on the Hudson river, throwing pigeons into the water to attract the fishpeople while they're looking for those who a)survived the bomb blast and b)haven't been eaten by the fishpeople. I start crying, and the dream ends when I realize you're dead and I'm crying in the arms of a woman with long hair, some kind of tattoo on her face and a Red Cross armband." ** My deepest apologies for the WallOfText. * My dreams are basically mind screws. One that made no sense was when me and some people ran to the top of a skyscraper being chased by zombies. What had happened is that I killed a [[ResidentEvil Crimson Head]] and all of a sudden the building disappeared and we fell, yet, lived despite the fact that the building was about 467 stories high. Anyways, last night I had a dream that I was playing down at my cousins house when this thing that looked like a polar bear (still don't know if it's an actual one, a guy in a suit, or something else.) Anyways it was telling us about snake safety. I started backing up, and it asked me if I was scared. I said yes and in a playful mood it ran at me. I jumped out of the way, and she walked back over and continued talking. After a while, my aunt walked out of the house and chased it away. I saw it's eyes, and they were red, full of anger and hatred, and had a psychotic smile on it. I was all of a sudden transported back to my house, and the doors just locked my family inside. I looked out my window, and saw it walking pass my house with a bomb in it's hand. I went to a window pointing in the direction of my cousins house, and I saw it walking down to the house, but first it turned at me, with a huge grin on its face, and evil red eyes which was filled with hatred and the thoughts of murder. I went to call my cousin to warn him, but as soon has I dialed the number and he answered, the phone blew up. Then I woke up. * This Troper once stayed up all night on a Sunday, wanting to go to sleep because she had school. Well at 5: 30 in the morning she was standing next to her lamp, hearing her mother come down the hall to wake her up, and was freaking out because she didn't go to sleep and was going to get caught. Then she woke up, in bed, in the dark with her mother knocking on the door saying "Time for school!". It took a good 5 minutes for her to figure out exactly what had happened... * This troper's fanfiction. What I've plotted out is ultimate mindfuck. Sure, when you've got the characters from {{Negima}}, {{Ouran High School Host Club}}, {{K-On}}! and a couple of bishis from {{Fruits Basket}}, all going on the same trip to Seattle, including multiple mages, aliens, espers, half espers, witches, warlocks, time travelers, and a couple of demons and angels, what could possibly happen?! Well, Haruhi Suzumiya awakens her true powers, Practical twin girls fall in love with identical twins who are brothers, pregnant chicks, a girl and her demon butler from another demension accompany them, plus Teacher/Student romance; Congrats, you've just put yourself in the middle of one of my scattered stories~! Which is why I've never published them... * Most of my dreams tend to be disjointed mind screws. Most days I wake up thinking, "what the hell was that?!" and occasionally, "I did

not need to see that! Where's the brain bleach?!" Highlights include: ** A threesome with my crush at the time and his sister. ** A threesome with my roommate's boyfriend and my biology professor (a middle-aged woman who didn't like me at all). ** Penetrative sex with a shark...except the shark had a human penis...and was actually a human woman who had been magically turned into a shark. * This troper dreamt of watching a bizarre magic show starring a [[ChainsawGood chainsaw-wielding]] {{dominatrix}}. * This troper has been having reoccuring nightmares for three years, many following a 'storyline' and others being [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment completely strange and having no meaning]]. Worse news is that I'm a ridiculously vivid dreamer, to the point of having fleshed out characters, music and even people in the dream knowing that I am asleep. CursedWithAwesome right? Kinda but in nastier dreams I can feel the pain the focus character is in. ** One dream had a strange city, a cross of RaygunGothic and CityNoir, the thin but massive [[StarScraper sky scrapers]] where lined with dim neon lights, the streets below were almost pitch dark with the impression of having no people at all. It seemed to focus on a hotel of sorts. Each floor held four tightly packed rooms with only a bed, a toilet and sink, most of the walls were glass/plastic that where mulitcolored in a fashion simerlar to a church window. The fourth wall that all rooms faced held four very small elevators (used for quick acess to the rooms), the hotel it's self was round in shape so you chouldn't look into the room next to you, it started off massive at the bottom (suggesting that the lower levels were for rich folk) and came to barely two meters of room. I remeber my 'character' (a person of central focus in the dream) was a [[AmazingTechnicolorPopulation maroon skined humanoid with short blue hair and black eyes]] living at the top floor of the building (level 250). My charater (named ''Stranger'' in the dream) had apparently become bored of the city's mundane life-style and crime, it kicks off with him walking down a deserted street with no people around, as the 'scene' plays the backround music and astmosphere gets faster, more high pitched simerlar to a heart beating. Suddenly the character stumbles out of the city's bounds, almost blinded by the sun. Beyond the city was a desert with a very old road, as the character walks down the road, it becomes clear that normal people are a rarity in this world. People with orange/yellow skin living in tents throw cans at him, calling him a 'city hick'. Stranger eventually gets to an old house by the road, goes in to see a regular human....[[UnusuallyUninterestingSight playing video games with a bear wearing an office shirt and glasses called Ted.]] He asks the human (a fairly preety nerd girl with auburn hair) why there are so little people beyond the city. The girl says it's because the humans: ''who were smart enough to get away didn't turn into the colorless, eyeless monstrosities out in the streets''.....[[ParanoiaFuel the streets were pitch black with no humans because the creatures (supposenly mutated) had killed them all.]] It goes as far as saying that [[BodyHorror Stranger was close to mutating into one of them.]] ** As the city reappeared in dreams that had nothing to do with it, i

suspected that most of my dreams were connected into a land/country/kingdom whatnot, I nicknamed that land Dreamescape (that has three current states: Maeve - a [[MedievalEuropeanFantasy medieval]]/[[ClockPunk clock punk]] poor area, Murine - the said RaygunGothic city surrounded by desert and slowly mutating population, And finally Muadhnait - a large island close to Maeve that's simerlar to VictorianLondon mixed with TheGayNineties and all forms of GothicHorror.) Each of them connect to Earth (known as Hub in the 'story') and all four are ruled by a diety. ***In Maeve the diety is called Maeveara, a dragon-like being symbolised in purple, who strived to keep order and law within her land. In Murine it's a being called Muadnate, another dragon-being although in an Easteren style with a gold symbol, who strived for prospirity and wealth, he actually traded lands with his fellow diety Weaver, currently hibirnating for many years. In Muadhnait it was ruled by a large EldritchAbomination called Weaver, a simply massive dark colored shapeshifter with white eyes, who strove for art and literature, his existance was forgoten when he was supposingly killed in ZombieApocalypse (he was actually imprisoned beneath the Muadhnait royal home) , causing the people to start creating new gods. And also the diety in Hub is mentioned to have been a diety named Philomel who is currently 'half-asleep' trying to fufill the wishes of humans, she is a blue ghost-like being that simply wanted Hub to survive. *** The sub-dieties are as followed. [[BewareTheNiceOnes May-Eve]] originaly a normal human who became corrupted by TheChessmaster and became a massive tree-like giant, serving as a quick link and passage from Hub to the other lands. [[HighOctaneNightmareFuel Her body was hollowed out and is now used to house the unfortunete people of Dreamescape.]] Another one is [[IdiotHero Grey]], an agent of Weaver (during his imprisonment) who was created to collect and inspire humans and scapes (the various Dreamescape people), he was actually The Mothman and most Slender Man sightings. With the appearance of a ridiculously thin grey humanoid, he was literaly ''torn'' from Weaver in a last attempt to keep his memory alive. Then there are [[SevenDeadlySins The Seven]] each a form of monstrous being formed from humans. And finally there is the various characters that unintentionaly end up dieties (a few were those killed by The Seven or had killed a BigBad). *** In one dream about Muadhnait, it actually showed the said ZombieApocalypse. Apparently Muadhnait was a very fair farming/logging town watched over by Weaver in the [[PhysicalGod form of a giant black cat]], the town was more so mundane and dull than the modren form. It didn't have as many of the FunnyAnimals or CityNoir charm of the present Muadhnait. It was simply a human driven communitiy based on mundane tasks and lifestyles.....then the being Muadnate [[NiceJobBreakingItHero made a bet with Weaver]] that who ever stayed a god longest whould inherit the other's land. Unfortunetly this lead to unorthedox methods of doing so. **** At first Muadnate tried to convince the residents of Muadhnait that Weaver was actually a demon, it didn't work but it [[ChekhovsGun came in handy later]] when used by [[ChessMaster Grandelder]]. Then Weaver caused muiltple black outs in Murine and gave them the current

Neon structures ([[MoralEventHorizon which ended up causing the horrible mutations there]]) in order to show he was a better diety than Muadnate. Oddly enough the Murine people actually belived Weaver and began to tear down the temples dedicated to Muadnate. In a last ditch attempt to keep his religon alive, Muadnate staged a ZombieApocalypse (actually the mutated Muirne citizens) in order to wipe out Weaver's followers. Then i woke up. **** Finally a few days later I found out what happened. In the other dream, it was in the perspective of a Muadhnait citzen called [[CuteShotaroBoy Alex]] who worked for the royal house as a messenger. The royal house was led by [[ChekhovsGunman Grandelder]], a strict, vain and generaly unplesant [[LionsAndTigersAndHumansOhMy wolf]] along with his....[[ParentalIncest large]] [[RoyallyScrewedUp and]] [[OffingTheOffspring odd]] [[ToughLove family]]. One day Alex [[OhCrap noticed a mess of people crowding around Weaver]], he ran to tell the town but no one listened to him. Eventually a whole army of Muirneans torn appart the town, killing hundreds of people. I was greated to a shot of Giant Cat Weaver getting torn apart by the beings while screaming: '''I'm Sorry!'''. **** It shifted to the perspective of [[HighOctaneNightmareFuel Alex who had his kidneys and lungs ripped out]] (also worse of all was that ''I flet it''), Alex [[IGotBetter got better]] after a being called Baba recreated him as a Marionette-like being, a model used as servants at the Royal house (which was shown to have surivived the whole ordeal). The bad part? One: He'd have to work mindlessly for the Royal House for an unknown number of years. Two: He has a permenant [[GlasgowGrin glasow smile]] and markings on his uniform of what organs he lost. [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Three]]: [[GenderBender The Marionettes]] are the ''female'' servant models. He later comes back as [[AttractiveBentGender Noire]] a [[ChekhovsGunman major character in the main arc]]. ** Yeahhhhh. My dreams keep adding on to the storylines to the point where they are perfect anime material. Also to mention that I can feel what the main character feels? Apparently getting electro-shock therapy is more painful than getting your kidneys ripped out. * This troper has dreams that almost always relate to fandoms. Here's one that had to do with ''{{Touhou}}''. I was in an orphanage with my best friends. We were all 12 for some reason. Suddenly, the owner of the orphanage, an awful lady, threw us all in a trailer with blankets on the bottom. There was a small window at the top of one wall. My friend Marissa found a smartphone underneath one of the blankets, and then the car that was driving started. Somehow we all escaped from it while they lady was driving. Marissa lost the cellphone. On the road, we found a small diner. We all went in, and for some reason I had to sit away from my friends. I sat on a barstool-type seat with a spoon in hand. Then we all were in space. I realized we had to go see Mima at the fair to see what we should do! So somehow we all got out of space and walked to the fair. We went into a store, and the owner was suspicious that we had shoplifted something. We got out and finally found Mima's fortunetelling booth. We went in, but she wasn't there. But apparently, there was a door that led to a large play space with

free ice cream. All my friends went nuts and got ice cream, but I was too worried that I wouldn't get to see Mima and sort this all out. Then the dream ended... * This Troper has had a boatload of bizarre dreams, but one recent one that messes completely with the mind is truly bizarre. After a rough night, I tried to catch a few z's to make sure that I wouldn't keel over and faint. Cue me waking up about five minutes later to go to the bathroom, and fainting/falling through the floor, not sure which. Woke up outside the bathroom sort of worried that I would have to drive somewhere and would faint in the middle of it. Cue my dad calling and explaining that he'd been called to a press conference and couldn't pick up the daughter of a friend, and asking me to do it. So, I headed out the door, very dizzy, and felt like the roads were too narrow. I managed to get to the conference center, but only found a bunch of people worried about some guy named Mr. Grayson. He seemed like a bigwig, but I fainted before I could meet him, and wound up waking up on my couch. Realizing it had been a dream, I got dressed and headed upstairs, to find my dad home for lunch. He seemed slightly shorter than normal, but I attributed it to dizziness. So, I got ready to head out and run an errand, and fainted again. Finding myself on the couch again. Counting my fingers (in dreams, you'll often have more or fewer than five fingers), I concluded that I was probably awake. reading TV Tropes, I've heard the basic premise of the film Inception, but haven't seen it myself. The whole concept of finding myself in multiple dreams where I think I'm awake, was eerily similar to the concept of the film, though. And to further mess with your heads, after I woke up, I put on the same clothes that I had worn in my dream... * This troper draws comics like this often. ---Had enough of the tropers screwing with your mind? Go back to the main MindScrew page. ----

Minecraft * You never forget the first time you hollow out a mountain with TNT and then blow the top off of it.....ah, good times.... ** Tch, that's nothin'! today, i've RIPPED A CONTINENT IN HALF WITH TNT. And it was epic. *** Beat this, RIPPING A HOLE IN THE SEA. The Too Many Items mod can be fun sometimes. ** Not quite a mountain, more a hill with underlying caves. I set up a block duplicator to facilitate my TNT production, and started packing those caves full of TNT. Unfortunately, I set the duplicator up right on top of the hill to cut down on travel time, and as I was almost finished, I [[YetAnotherStupidDeath placed a TNT block against a wall that was receiving power]]. I still got my crater, though. Classified * I was exploring his world after I had discovered maps. All I had brought with me was one bed and a map so I didn't lose my way like I always do whenever I explore. The bottom left corner had tal grass,

and led to a grassland and flowers that I really needed. The bottom right corner was the beggining to a tundra biome which I was very pleased about, It did not have any resources, except for the pine trees, however. The top right corner provided a large amount of surface iron and coal as well as a small cavern and a dungeon holding a zombie spawner but ther was only one flaw,thedungeon did not have any chests. And last but not least, the top left corner contained a Vast desert biome and I saw my first desert shrub, I was excited to see it Because I live in a forest biome with a pack of wolfs and never went far from my house, Because I was too afraid I would get lost in it. When I returned to my small den of a house I had 2 stacks of clay, a few cacti, a full stack of coal and iron. First thing I did When I got back? Made a fire place in my den using the brick I had made from the coal, and started up a desert farm with the cacti, Which is also useful for killing any neutral mobs in the area. I also turned the Dungeon I had found into a monument. * While looking for coal on a brand new world I stumbled upon a pair of giant floating islands. I quickly set up shop up on one and made a bridge to the next. After exploring a few of the caves in the area I found a Skeleton spawner. Then I made a big ol' mineshaft down to bedrock, and as soon as I broke out of it I found 12 diamonds. After having branch mined every possible way in that area I decided to go check out near by islands. About a ten second boat trip away from my spawn there was a second island, this one also had two giant floating islands on them. After exploring the caves around this area I found a Spider spawner. Then while branch mining I broke into a big cavern, I found yet another dungeon in there, and after another minute found a second dungeon in the same cavern. I love this world so much. So freakin' much. * This Troper had the intelligent idea to make a portal. I leapt through and began building a house which was razed by a ghast. As was the next one and the next one. I survived by digging a hidey hole into the ground and hiding. After a while i was punted off a cliff and nearly died in lava. After fighting my way through Hell (im a Teutonic Knight btw) I finally manage to build a portal. I find myself underground. I dig for a few minutes untill i discover that I am UNDER THE SEA. I nearly drown as is swim to the surface. I am in the middle of a massive forrest at the moment with no clue as to where I am. Am i screwed or not? * While this troper was playing his first serious game of MineCraft, he found himself needing black wool for the floor in his house. For some weird reason, squids weren't spawning, nor were black sheep, so he couldn't get any black wool. He decided that he should instead focus on getting red flowers for decorating his walkway; again, none. Anywhere. He ventured into the mountains and into the sea, but couldn't find any of these supposedly common items. Then... He got lost. He tried for 3 in-game days to find his house again but to no avail. On the fourth day however; he found a small pool with 5 squids, at least 20 red flowers scattered around AND a few pumpkins! He knew he couldn't die now, so he turned it to peaceful mode, but that was unnecessary because he found his home again after only around a minute of exploring. Needless to say, someone around here was very happy.

** Sounds like the great lord Notch had sent you on a journey to find the promised land. Thou are blessed. * This troper, after downloading the Mo' Creatures mod, fought an Ogre. With a stone sword. No armor. And won. Then he did it again, except with two ogres, an iron sword, and a half-broken set of armor. And won again...then tamed a unicorn. * This troper has had a lot of fun with TNT. I went to a huge mountain where I loaded it up with enough TNT to level Canada. After the huge explosion I found that there was not only a constant flow of lava, but water as well. Short story even shorter, I found a place to make easy Obsidian. * This troper's current Giant Castle map has many funny stories. First was, I found a nice cave after much lateral digging. I didn't know where I was after about 15 minutes. Dug out, and was barely able to scrape together the resources for a compass. Came out of that with much redstone dust and 2 units of diamond. Then, I found a MASSIVE cave complex (with TWO DUNGEONS) literally, about 6 squares from my castle door. First time I was looking for diamond, I got 2 units of diamond, gleefully headed towards the exit... and fell in lava. Losing everything I had, including all my iron. The very next moring, I got 2 more units of diamond, aaaand... Fell into the lava pit again. Third time, I covered up that pit and got more diamond. Then I started Obsidian farmind. There is a LOT less lava there now, but still much more gold, redstone, iron, coal, and diamond to be had (and possibly another dungeon). Fun tiems. * This troper remembers making a castle at the top of a mountain high above the clouds, with a long staircase connecting it to the spawn point. There was also another staircase leading to the bottom z level. Much exploration was had. * I found this cave in alpha. It was very large. My brother even named it The Labyrinth. But the odd thing was, I kept finding skeletons in it. So, I looked around and actually found a unexplored, blocked up part of the cave! I went in. The last thing I saw was a fire, and an arrow heading straight for my head. I flooded the cave, and blocked it off. ** Sounds like you found a spawner. I still need to find the one in my cave >.> * This Troper feels rather lucky. Twice at two different maps, after about 1 minute of exploring, had she found dungeons sticking right out of the sand. The first time she was like, "What? Did someone build here before me?" And then she uncovered a chest from fallen sand and instantly knew what it was. She did a little dance, told everybody, and collected it all up. ** Second time wasn't that much of a blast. ** Reminds me of the time I found a Crafting Table in nowhere. I was like "Did someone get here?" I was on single player. But then I remembered I always forget to pick up work tables; I set it. * I had some bad encounters with a creeper ** Two creepers were coming after Me in a cave, after killing the first one, I couldn't find the other one, Thinking it disappeared I proceeded on, the creeper was [[{{artificial brilliance}} hiding in an alcove]]

--> *Ss-sssss* --> Me: [[{{Cursecutshort}} What the---]] --> *BOOM* ** Even better! I was constructing a watch tower with [[{{NoOSHAcompliance}} no protection]], I had gone back to get more cobblestone, I made the stupidest mistake of leaving the under construction rise un-lit, then... --> *Ss-sssss* --> Me: NONONONONONONOO --> *Boom* --> Me: AHHHHH *Splat* *** I regained all of My items soon after, but My heart was beating after that ** If You wan't a seed code for an easy world try "Dallenson" (Which I tried out of curiosity), I started on a plain with 2 caves nearby and a nice blue ocean in one direction. The world name is "Arcaria", You know, the {{Rule of Cool}}. * I have roamed the equivalent of 40 miles in one map that I have dedicated to exploration: Peaceful difficulty, seed set as "Thanatos" (for lots of waterfalls), a couple dozen boats, beds, ladders, and maps, and me against the world. To the Far Lands I go, regardless of if the map size has reached 30 MB! * Thanks to the inclusion of the compass this troper can now roam freely without worrying about directions, I found a beautiful island, loads of caves below, mountains and waterfalls above, all good, except that traversing the tops of the mountains is the most dangerous yet quick way back off the island, carrying a full stack and a bit of collected iron ore across perilous walkways and jumps, not wanting to just build around it for the challenge, it's the best island I've seen generated, not just that, it's the first time I've seen a game as art, or as something beautiful. * I once did overkill. Two TNT to kill a skeleton. It still lived. It wasn't laughing when I [[KillItWithFire threw lava in its face.]] When neither TNT nor Lava are available, I [[MoreDakka pump it full of flint arrows]] * This troper plays on a multiplayer server with his friends. We've set up a sort of functioning economy; one of the players built/grew an enormous tree next to the spawn point, and placed lots of double chests at the base; we use it as a trading post. We also trade goods for labor; if you have more than one project you want done, you can negotiate a wage of materials with another player to do it for you. This troper sells towers; he has a specific design that can be built with ten stacks of stone (glass for the windows is extra). When he's not selling towers, this troper spends his time expanding his ElaborateUndergroundBase; last he checked, it's about four or five square miles if you add up the surface area of all the rooms. * [[{{Kazmahu}} I]] Recently had an epic WhatAnIdiot moment when trying to design a glass skydeck with lava flowing over it. Due to the odd and somewhat unpredictable nature of the game's fluid dynamics, my first attempt was a disaster, flooding more than half my base. Three in-game days and several death later, after a convoluted cleanup process involving tons of dirt, only then did I realize I could have

painlessly tested the system using harmless, but behaviorally identical, water first. Cue epic FacePalm. ** Well, water actually doesn't have the exact same physics as lava (it flows farther, creates infinite springs, and doesn't set stuff on fire), but I get the point. * I was just playing single player mode, harvesting wheat from the field I had connected to my base. The field was inside a fence, meant to keep monsters out while I was paying attention to farming. I turned around to go into my base, and there was a creeper sitting on the stair between me and the door out of the field. I could have tried to get to the door to my base, but that would have put me in the creeper's line of sight and I did not want to lead it into my base. I had to destroy one of my fences and start running downhill away from the base. It caught me and blew up, but my field and base were safe (and I had plenty of bread to heal up again). * This troper started his first world in this really snowy place. I headed up the side of a mountain and found a little tree growing near the side. I tunneled into the mountain so that the tree hung right over the entrance, effectively hiding me from monsters. Over the next couple days I did rather well, finding copious coal and expanding my underground cubbyhole. After awhile I started falling off things and losing health, so I headed out to start harvesting pigs and such. After amassing a sizable fortune in hog meat I quickly took stock of my surroundings and realized I didn't know where the fancy crap I was. After about a minute I decided I would just have to explore til I found my base. After four day/knight cycles of walking something happened: It was nighttime and I had managed to fall into a crevice in the ground, which I decided to take shelter in, placing torches around the entire perimeter. About two minutes later a creeper made its way past the perimeter and leaped into the hole, exploding. The explosion uncovered a deep pit, which I proceeded to fall down. Moments later I found myself trapped in a dark, dank grotto, critically wounded with no torches as I was slowly but steadily surrounded by the unmistakable slurping sound of several large spiders. Rather than respawn and keep going after having lost all of the items in my inventory I opted to delete the world and start over. Yes, in the end it was my greed for pork chops that did me in, and I'll never make that mistake again. * This troper has a special place in my heart for creepers after what happened. I for one suck at killing creepers at close range so they always leave these craters on the beach. After awhile I got tired of all the craters and said "screw, this hole's my new house!", so I built a house on one of the eyesores and, since I had no areas to mine due to my thing with caves at the moment, I dug a mineshaft to the center of the earth. [[{{unobtainium}} guess what i found]] [[{{irony}} in the hole a creeper made.]] * [[{{Tropers/Arutoa}} This Troper]] found a replica of [[TouhouProject Gensokyo]] on Creative. It was AMAZING. ** Tell us where. Please. Don't leave the rest of us hanging like that. *** There's a server named "Touhou Gensokyo". The main map is a freebuild, but near spawn there are two teleporters. One goes to the Gensokyo map. It's not a ''complete'' replica, but it's

[[SoCoolItsAwesome really freaking cool]]. **** Said server has since been moved to SMP, and a video of it (with the IP) can be found on [[Awesome/MineCraft this page]]. * [[{{@/Quillpaw}} This troper's]] first experience with Alpha was an interesting one. I started off in snowy mountains, but they were just too hard to get around. There wasn't nearly enough wood, or coal, no sand, no large caves, it was covered in steep drops, and it was impossible to see anything in the snow. So I climbed to the top of the highest peak, determined where to go next, and headed towards the ocean, intent on sailing to new, less white lands. It took me four ingame days, with only six torches, two stone picks, a stone shovel, a stone sword, a workbench, and three chunks of wood, making tiny shelters in mountainsides and defending myself from cheeky, shelterinvading spiders. Finally I make it to the ocean, set down my workbench, quickly fashion two boats from my last bits of wood, toss one out and hop in...and go nowhere. I climb out of the boat and discover that the ocean has frozen over. Determined to get my boat out to sea, I take my pick to the ice, break through, fall in, drown, restart itemless and homeless back at my spawn point four days away. I immediately started a new world and did it all again. * My main server in this game is awesome. My starting island currently includes: My tunnel-house (The House of Win), a big castle on the top of the hill (Fort Bataxia), a huge-ass tunnel cutting throught the hill with a helluva lotta torches (Tunnel of Promethia), A mine shaft that goes all the way to Bedrock (Morenci Mines), and a tall, lavapowered lighthouse on the shore closest to the mainland (Skyfire Lighthouse) BTW, with the mines, I know it's the name of a real mining site, but I had forgotten that it was real and I thought I was referencing a video game that I couldn't remember. Also, I will give you five points and a cookie if you can tell me what the lighthouse is referencing. * [[{{Tropers/SkyBlueFox}} This Troper]]'s fondest memory of In(f)dev/Alpha is a save I've had for a long time. I began off on a small island chain, making a house, a big bridge, and began to mine. But the cave was ceiling'd by sand, and I accidentaly [[OhCrap caused the sand to fall.]] I made it out alive, but for some strange reason, [[ParanoiaFuel my bridge had broken in the middle while I was gone.]] Deeming the place cursed, I grabbed a sword and began to travel. After a series of misadventures, such as finding an underwater cavern system, and finding two neighboring falls (one water, one lava), I eventually happened upon a giant, naturally-spawned [[FloatingContinent floating island]], with a waterfall reaching down the ground. You might have seen the occasional floating dirt block/clump before, but this was a literal floating island, and of course I immediately swam up the waterfall and made my base there. I've lived there ever since. * [[http://imgur.com/BA1WW.png This]] was my first sight when I started a new world. [[http://imgur.com/XHT3D.jpg Guess where I went!]] * This Troper has combatted the terrain generator often, but has usually just dealt with it until the addition of Biomes. My world is rather mountainous many in regions which, while beautiful to look at

and good for keeping me safe from mobs, make it harder to travel around or escape from any mobs that find me. Cue the Boo! update and biomes, and I went to explore an ungenerated Western edge of my world, which happens to be one of the more mountainous regions. I fell to my death after not watching my step: the terrain and biome generators literally bisected the mountain range in half, creating a massive, 50block tall natural stone wall/mountain barrier between the alreadygenerated mountain range and a vast frozen-over (tundra biome) island chain. The barrier extends all the way from north to south boundaries of my generated world, and makes it difficult to traverse the two. I plan to make a base atop one of the towers and name it [[FullMetalAlchemist Briggs Fortress]]. * This troper was trying to make a glass-over-lava floor for his fort, but found himself having to travel quite far for a cave as he had used up the only source of collectable lava within reasonable distance of his base. So he goes into the cave, eventually finds a source of still lava through a hole, and digs under himself to safely descend down. Well much to my dismay, as I dug down, [[YetAnotherStupidDeath I found myself digging through the last layer of stone hanging over the lava]]. [[RageQuit I didn't play again for the rest of the day.]] ** Never dig straight down! * I was doing the usual rounds of resource gathering but decided to expand my mundane route. I had a lot of goodies in my inventory to take back home, but unfortunately I went a bit too far and got hopelessly lost. After aimlessly wandering for two days and nights, fending off monsters and getting that feeling of rising anxiety when you're lost, I got overwhelmed and killed by spiders and a skeleton archer. [[{{Understatement}} I was not amused.]] After cooling down for a few hours I started the game again, found the highest hill and built a huge lighthouse tower that reached the vertical limit so I won't make the same mistake again. I also plan to build murder holes into the tower so I can stay up all night [[{{Revenge}} shooting any skeletons and creepers that come near.]] * This Troper had a really bad experiance with Minecraft. I started in World 2 and wandered around trying to find iron. after several days, I found a really cool formation, but there was no iron there, so I resovled to go back there and build a huge castle. Then I found a Cavern with Iron, but was killed by a creeper. I could not find the place again so depressed I decided to settle in a small crack in the ground. After making it reachable I found iron. Quickly building a base around the iron for the sun was setting I enjoyed myself, mining and found a considerable amount of iron. I slowly expanded until I closed off the tunnel. I then decided I should build a boat and explore. Unfortunatly I got lost, and for several days I explored until I found the coast OF HE FIRST CAVE! I soon realized that it was only over a hill from my base. After a while I refound the formation, and discover a HUGE cavern. And after mining some diamond in it, I was killed by a spider. I instantly turned off my computer only to find doing so WIPED MY FILE!!!! Now in my new World 2 I have built a gate for my Cacti Fence so i can get over it in a boat, and I am planing to build a Clock tower, Fort Briggs, Ishbal, a fort on the bottom of the ocean, and finish my "Bay Area" which will have a Tower built against

where the Generator cut it off for the Halloween updates, to monuments for my rabbits, a Lighthouse, the cacti fence, and a castle which I am curently working out of. * This Troper has so far been having an absolute blast. On the second day of playing, she found three dungeons in a row (though sadly no great treasures there), and on day three, right after spending the day building a tower, she found a vein of 6 diamonds, right beneath her newly constructed tower, and then 10 minutes later, had used her diamond pick to obtain obsidian and build a portal to the Nether. Happy times. She also managed to save an old base from Creative and place it as a floating island base made entirely of obsidian, for decoration mostly. * Built a portal and found a disappointingly puny Nether. A couple of minutes walk in empty caverns with only the occasional spawned pigmen and one tiny stalactite of lightstone. Finally got tired of it, dug downward at an angle, and slipped off the edge and fell waaaay down, barely surviving the fall and fleeing in panic from a huge roomful of ghasts. Dug an L shaped tunnel to get out of their line of sight... and now I'm completely lost. Can't see in the darkness above where the hole I fell down is... spent a couple of hours and a dozen stone picks digging in all directions... finally managed to build another portal; now I'm in a hole in the 'real' world, ghod knows where compared to my base... ** The cool part about that is finding your way back! I hope you brought a compass... *** The even cooler part is that a compass will do jack-shit to help you. Ain't the Nether great? * On a SMP server, a floating city had problems with mass creepers gathering under its shadow. A player was sent out to lure the creepers away so torches could be placed under the city. While this was happening, I was mining some coal out of a small hole in the ground. The player who was luring the creepers jumped over the hole without seeing me, and the mass of creepers all fell into the hole next to me. * Minecraft has properly enriched my life in the first few hours of playing it. I made a small base near my spawn, then explored. I got lost. I was DISTRAUGHT, because it meant I had lost my base. So, I made a new one. A better one. One with a huge tower to show off where it was, and a TrailOfBreadcrumbs made of torches to guide my way back. Fast forward a few hours, and I made a compass that pointed back to my original spawn point. I followed it and got back to my base...which, when I got back, i took one look and said "...I was upset over this?" ...[[AnAesop Minecraft taught me both the importance of letting go of old byegones, and had shown the]] GrassIsGreener [[AnAesop theory in in a strange backwards way.]] * This troper was once in a forest as it got dark and was ambushed by a spider. Said spider got stuck on a tree. So, what does he decide to do? Pull out his flint and steel and set the tree on fire. It worked and the spider died. And... [[http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v461/TwilightPhoenix/Picture23.png so did]] [[http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v461/TwilightPhoenix/Picture13.png everything else]]. I think it might still be spreading...

* This troper had a crowning moment of reflex save success. After finding diamond and making a pick, I was working around lava. Now, I had scouted out the area before and while I was mining straight down, I was reasonably sure that there was one more layer of floor. You can see where this is going. Broke right through but, somehow, managed to angle my fall so I landed on a one-block outcropping over the lava. Took about 5 seconds for my heart to start beating again. Lesson learned. * The first time this troper played Minecraft he made a small wooden house with a small wooden door and a glass ceiling mine shaft that went all the way down to the bedrock. He was lucky to find tons of redstone he didn't know how to use over the first few trips down and some iron and diamond. His luck ran out though while he was carrying about ten diamond and other stuff like gold and iron and he broke into a ginourmous cave which lagged his computer into oblivion. When he reentered the game it was pitch dark and when he placed some torches he found out that he was still in the same spot but the game had forgotten all the digging and torch-placing that brought him there. In short after running out of torches and pick-axes but still progressing horizontally towards where he believed to have came from (underground) by using buckets of lava for light, the game lagged him out again and then when he re-entered spawned him inside a wall. That was his first tragic though full of courageously digging stone by hand and swapping lava around... death. Later on he found out that he had been only about 20 blocks away from breaking out. Now he's learned to save his game regularly and he's slowly lining the inner walls in his house with solid blocks of lapis-lazuli :P. * One of the players on my friend's SMP server would compulsively plant saplings, leaving our town densely covered in trees after a while. In response, someone put up a sign reading "[[PublicServiceAnnouncement Only you can prevent forests]]," and someone else put a crate containing axes behind a glass wall with another sign next to it reading "In case of forest, break glass." Eventually I (accidentally but probably unavoidably) set it all on fire. ** On the same server, someone filled a dispenser with cooked pig meat, hooked it up to a button, and put a sign next to it reading: "[[MemeticMutation Push Button, Receive Bacon]]." *** [[TwoWordsObviousTrope Two words:]] IP address * This troper encountered his first-ever Spider Jockey in his last play session. While the information initially terrified this troper upon hearing of such a mob, the fight was entirely exhilarating. Strafing was had, arrows were exchanged, and the spider's pounce was parried many times by a deft switch between the Bow and the Sword. The skeleton died first to an arrow, leaving the already badly-injured spider to attempt to avenge its rider with one last pounce. To no avail, the fight was ended as the spider's last pounce ended in an arrow through its body. Also, some zombies were watching in the distance, no doubt betting on the outcome. They were then slain next, after a battlecry of victory over a worthy foe. Then the player was mobbed by creepers and forced to retreat. Enough combat for one night? I think so.

* This troper is a first time player and loves the game, having started his first night in a cave mining for more materials and trying to live the first night. Hearing the loud bumps, groans and growls of lord only knows, he had gotten enough material to at LEAST start something small, something better than a cave to live in. Sun rose and this troper set out to make his fortress. Wondered what that [[HellIsThatNoise SSSSSSS]] sound was coming from. Died. And that's how this troper met his first Creeper. * This troper was playing around in his base, working on my giant underground farm. After a while, I got a little bored and started to explore. I dug a staircase and eventually came across some Obsidian. I start to mine it out, only for lava to flow in through the gap. While I closed off the gap, I made a critical error - I forgot to refill my buckets with water, and I was dead. Along with all of my gear, including my only Diamond Pick, one of my bows and all of the arrows I had spent the last day making. [[RageQuit Naturally, I haven't touched this save since.]] * I had heard of Minecraft from a few sources, but the recent PC Gamer article/tutorial inspired me to finally buy the game. My tale thus far: ** On my first save, I didn't really know what I was doing and screwed around too much during the day without making enough to build a house of any kind. I had an [[OhCrap Oh Crap]] moment when the sun started going down, and managed to seal myself into a shallow cave with some dirt. The next day I thought I'd try to build a treehouse but that wasn't really working out so I went back to the cave. However, I didn't think to collect the resources to make torches, and as I sat in the dark a zombie ''actually spawned inside my shelter'' I died before I realized what was going on, and then a skeleton was waiting at the spawn point. So I scrapped that save. ** On my second save, I dug out a better (and properly lit) cave shelter. I started digging down but quickly ran into a lot of large, irregular caverns which were filled with hostile critters trying to eat my face. Up top, creepers blew up the front of my shelter several times, leaving an ever-widening hole in the ground. Despite all that, I dug further down, only to meet my end in a pool of lava and losing all my items in the process. So I began once more. ** My third save put me on a pretty small desert island with only a small hill and a handful of trees on it. Still, I was determined to make a go of it. Gradually the hill turned into a stone fort with a lava beacon on the roof for when I start exploring the surface. I have a tree farm and a wheat farm going, and mined all the way down to the bedrock, although I've only found one freaking diamond deposit so far. I also managed to build a couple of mob traps in the more dangerous caverns. * This troper's friend decided to make a cloth tower. Then burn it down. ''[[TooDumbToLive From the inside]]''. Also there was TNT on top of the tower. [[YetAnotherStupidDeath *slow clap*]] --> "This tower-burning experiment [[{{Understatement}} did not end well]]. That is all." ''(respawns)'' "And everything's back to normal; [[DisContinuity it never happened]]. Bye bye." * In my extremely well developed SMP server, me and some other veteran

players decided to have a bit of fun. We build an enormous series of tunnels and caverns in the distant area off to the west where nobody had build yet, placed chests full of valuable stuff everywhere, rigged the place with all manner of traps, then removed every single nonredstone torch in the caves. There was a small lit observation room over one of the biggest caverns (that we told nobody about), and challenged new players to try to get through to the treasure (no digging though). So far, only 2 out of the eight chests have been looted, though we're considering decommissioning the dungeon since nearly all of the TNT traps have been set off, many other traps have been disarmed or otherwise stopped working, not every torch placed by former players is accessible (less mobs are spawning), and finally because creeper explosions have severely damaged the structure, making some areas inaccessible without digging, and others, originally secure areas laughably easy to get into. * Despite having never been killed by a Creeper, and only rarely suffering deaths by the hands of mobs (generally I end up dying by falling off stuff, or setting myself on fire by accident when working with lava, then fumbling the water bucket I carry as a precaution.), I had a downright terrifying experience with one. I was building an exploratory mine, and was somewhere around bedrock, and found a large cave. I noticed a gold mine in the ceiling, and went to try and mine it, after making the obligatory "mob check" and placing a few torches. I felt a bit uneasy, and looked to my right, only to see a creeper coming towards me out of the darkness. Cue the OhCrap, and I tried to dash back into my tunnel to block it off. Unfortunately, the tunnel was blocked off with stone. The creeper caught up, and BOOOM! Fortunately I lived, but that damn creeper blew up the gold node, and broke my iron armor. * This Troper is working on a base inside of some weird dirt formation. It is FULL of Dirt and Cobblestone. I doubt I'll run out. He's clearing it out; currently, he has a couple of torches and two doors. He put two torches next to each door outside to make them easier to find...because I have no sense of direction. Anyways, I put a crafting table over some normal-level land. What's buried a couple layers under the table is what I call the "Emergancy Chest", items that could help if I'm killed (IE large amounts of dirt and raw meat). I haven't planned to do a cave dive because I'm afraid it'll get out of hand, but I'm working on it. ** Also, he remembered why he keeps a crafting table handy because he was roaming. He was kinda lost, looking for home. Plenty of time until night. He had enough leather to make pants armor. At first he thought he would have to wait, he remembered he had a spare Crafting Table he accidentally crafted. * [[{{Tropers/Arutoa}} This Troper]] had several mods on, and went to the Nether. He found somebody oddly like him. Since he had a diamond sword, he [[HeroicSociopath decided the best idea was to stab it]]. The text "Herobrine has disconnected". Appeared. This Troper [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome killed Herobrine without him even noticing said troper]]. * This troper bought the game less than a day ago. On digging out what he intended to be a temporary shelter, he immediately encountered both

coal and iron. Twenty-four hours of IRL-time and some planning later and he's about to try building a lighthouse and tunneling into a nearby mountain just because it's there, starting from the safety of his labyrinthine underground base (and hopefully remembering to fill in the undersea tunnel he accidentally dug, since it's exactly one block from breaking through into open water at the end). * On [[{{Tropers/Animeking194}} This Troper]]'s first game, he spawned on an island and made a fort inside of a cave, at nightfall, he sealed up the cave but made the grave mistake of not making any torches, so in the dark he blindly dug until he realized he managed to get some coal and made some torches. Somehow he had dug his way directly down to a diamond level cave. The next 30 or so minutes were dedicated to finding a way out. After a while, he came upon sand and dug up, water sprouted out, but he decided to swim directly upwards, he had come out of the ocean not too far away from the island he spawned on, and even managed to see the sun rise. Not too long after he left to make a big house on the main land, but not before making a 124 block high tower to know where his first home was. * [[{{Tropers/mew4ever23}} This troper]] has a lava fountain in a castle on an SMP server. While he was working around it on the outside of the castle it one day, he accidentally breached a wall leading to the outside world. Que him scrambling to both contain the resulting forest fire and to erect a moat around his neighbor's log cabin. * This troper once had an experience with 3 creepers. He was waiting in his house for night to pass, when he saw a creeper outside. He stupidly decided to go out to kill it. Needless to say, it exploded, and the troper was blown so high that he actually ''took fall damage''. He then got ambushed by two more creepers while trying to gather the stuff the creeper had mined out for him. * Let this troper explain a cave dive he once did with a friend. When I had died in lava early into the dive, I wanted to give up. But when my friend handed me my Iron Pick, I decided to go on. I'm glad I did. We worked through it. We died multiple times, but we were able to get our stuff back because the server allowed a mod so you could set a house and you and people you invite could teleport to it and I was constantly setting places inside the cave to my house. We found lots of Redstone, Coal, Gold and Iron, I even made a Clock. The best part was we found not 3, not 5, not 10, but '''14''' Diamond. Unfortunatly, I had to leave before we finished, but I gave him my Iron Sword, Diamond Pick, nearly-broken Stone Shovel, Diamond, Torches, Water Bucket and Bread. * This Troper has a massive castle and courtyard surrounded by a cobblestone wall seven or eight blocks high. There are two entrances/exits, a door and a line of slabs that goes up one side of the wall and down the other. One day, he was attempting to make a creeper bounce up the slabs. At this point he had no idea that they were indeed capable of doing just that. After five minuted of unsuccessfulness, he went away to do something else. Later, he was about to go outside the wall to finish another structure when Mr. Creeper had found his merry way up the slab-stairs, but not high enough to be seen before it was too late. Cue F-bomb and broken wall. Protip: Editing a creeper's texture so instead of a constant D: it has

awesome face only makes it worse. * This troper found a small cave full of iron and coal. It was shallow and had two entrances, one at either end, so he set up shop there. After getting everything all set up, he decided to dig down. That hole eventually become a replica of OoT's Shadow Temple. To commemorate the occasion, he built a villa above the cave and temple and downloaded the Kakariko Village texture pack. Then, down in the cave he'd start hearing zombies that were very close. So, he went upstairs, with the intent of getting rid of them and lighting the villa better. He opened the door and about crapped himself when he found three ReDeads on the other side. Thank you, texture packs. * This troper built a three-story house with a four story tower, In the tower I've been attacked by [[RuleOfThree three creepers]], two in the tower and one somewhere on the second floor balcony. The first time was kind of unlucky, but somewhat amusing, the second time was kind of annoying, and the third one just outright infuriated me, all times will lethal. When I died the third time, I went back to my house to grab my things and do repairs on my house, and out of a cave came ANOTHER creeper, making me realize what the problem was. So after slaying that creeper, I continued repairing the house, another creeper came out of the cave to greet me while I was finishing up, but luckily it wasn't able to get to me, so I just finished the repairs and kept a close hand on my sword. When I completed the repairs, I fought the creeper and killed it and went to the cave to light it up, being attacked by yet another creeper, which I fought and won. The [[RuleOfThree last three]] creepers were all slain, they didn't get the chance to explode. * I was introducing my brother to Minecraft, and while I'd played it I hadn't dared to explore the Nether yet, so neither of us knew what was in there. After a few minutes of horrified silence and cautious exploration (and trying to figure out what all those gurgling kittenish noises were), he said, --> '''Brother''': Are they saying "help me"? --> '''This troper''': OH GOD WHY WOULD YOU EVEN SAY THAT. ** We also didn't know that portals could get generated on the map at random, so when we found another one a few days later, we jumped to the most obvious conclusion: That he'd opened the way for evil hellbeasts to leak into the world and set up shop. I told him to destroy it immediately; he said something to the effect of "don't worry, it's a convenient teleport back to base" and hopped through... to find that a mysterious forest fire had devastated half the countryside. OhCrap. * This troper's first experience with Minecraft was... interesting. [[WhatAnIdiot For some reason]], I decided to dig a base out of an island a very long way from my spawn point. After a few ingame days of good stuff, I decide to save and quit and go back later. When I load it back up, I'm [[GameBreakingBug stuck in a wall and constantly taking damage.]] So I am now stuck in a place that I don't even remember with none of my items. But that didn't stop me, I decided to try to find my old base, but I apparently [[WrongTurnAtAlbuquerque went the wrong way]] and ended up getting even more lost, so I decided that I'll just build a new base in an odd overhang. I ended up

building a huge mine shaft that went all the way down to bedrock and then back up, and everything seemed to be going well... until one time I missed every single foothold on the way down and died. Back at the spawn point, with two bases seemingly out of reach and thinking of giving up, I trek on in search of anything. Eventually I find a torch, and I'm saved! I follow the nearby beach and what do I find, but my first base. I'm currently building a skyway that will reach to [[BeyondTheImpossible every landmass]] in search of my long lost second base. * This troper's first world spawned me a short distance from a lavafall, only 20-30 steps away. I've since had to block it off, though. I've also yet to find a cavern any bigger than enough to accommodate the small lava lake I found underneath the mountain I built my House on. However, this troper is [[BlessedWithSuck]] in the form of more coal then I can use - I just found a seam of 22 coal, shortly before discovering a seam of 48. Relatively short on Iron, unfortunately.I've only found around 50 total, compared to 200+ coal. * [[ThisTroper This Troper]] remembers his first experience with lava. I had created a 3*3 hole going straight downwards, and eventually I struck Redstone. Gleeful as could be, I mined away, until I struck lava. Fortunately, I blocked it off before it spread. Relieved, and with a fresh burst of confidence, I dug down to the next layer... And fell into a huge LavaPit. Accepting that this was the end, I sank to the bottom. At the very bottom, with less than a second left of life, I saw my first diamond. After 10 minutes of searching for my base, I deleted the save. Even so, it was [[WorthIt totally worth it.]] * This troper hollowed out a mountain, made a giant base in it, and then when I came back the next day there was a [[BottomlessPits bottomless pit]] in the middle of it. Like a chunk error. Except in singleplayer. Cue [[BigNo "Nooooooooooooooo!"]] * This troper was on a multiplayer server, and agreed with a friend that, if I was given 9 coal, 3 iron ingots, and some redstone (I built my house out of wood and hadn't had a need to go underground or mine yet) so that I could build torches and such, I would help him clear out and get the valuable resources out of a "pretty small cave, from what I can tell." I grabbed my pickaxe and sword, and ran to my friends mine. We started digging into some iron, when the wall fell away, and we were in a massive cave. We explored around and found about 20 blocks of iron, 2 diamond, a bit of redstone, and some lapiz. We continued to dig, and broke through another wall. This happened again and again, finding massive caves and a giant lava field (that we decided would be good for obsidian mining later, so we could make a bomb proof panic room incase of attacks from fellow players,) until we were a good 3 miles away from our ladder to the mine hub. My friend said he needed to go, so I decided to run back to my house and finish the work on my second floor. My jumping and skipping back to the ladder sent me straight into the lava pit that I was so excited, losing me everything that I had traded for. My friend reimbursed me for what I had lost like an idiot, but he laughs every time we pass by the lava field, mostly because it's almost completely covered up by my

fences and signs, warning people away from falling into it again. * I have two interesting stories. ** First, I was in my house one night when I heard a Spider hissing. I looked out all of my windows, and assumed it's probably on my roof. Come the morning, I dash out of my door and quickly turn around. Sure enough, a Spider falls off of my roof and attacks me. I kill it, then turn to a pig standing next to me and jokingly say "Oh yeah! Who's da man? I da man!" The pig then shakes it's head as if it was saying "No, you are not 'da man'". It then walked away, when all of a sudden "SSSSSSSSSS" "Oh fu-" [[CurseCutShort *BOOM*]] I turned around to see the damage the Creeper did, and promptly laughed as I realized the pig was right, and I was not da man at all. ** Second, I was in a new world just having come out of a cave, when I saw a burning tree. Confused as to what started the fire, I walked up to it and saw a flaming pig standing next to it that burned to death. I then saw a bit of lava. I thought that the pig caught on fire from the lava, and then caught the tree on fire. I didn't think that much of it at first, but then I saw that the fire was spreading. And spreading. And spreading. Soon, there was nothing left of the forest. Not even the sheep were safe. When the flames died down, I blocked off the lava and planted a sole tree where it was, in memory of who I shall forevermore call "Pyro the Pig". * This troper spent a long time exploring the underground caves before noticing I was down to my last pickax and decided to head back, unfortunately I had gotten lost so I chose a random direction to dig and made a tedious trip back up to the surface. Breaking through to the top layer was a relief but seeing that I had ended up less than 7 squares from my house made me laugh at my luck. * I was walking along the castle walls a little low on health when I saw a creeper. Then I pulled off what I like to call the creeper run in which you turn around frantically looking for a safe place. I ended up leaping over the side. * I just finished making a portal for the first time ever. Once I used the flint and tinder to make the purple gate appear, cue the screaming noises that echo from it, and by sheer coincidence, rain and snow start pouring down like no tomorrow at that exact moment. For a second I thought I had accidentally brought forth the apocalypse or something. * This troper just killed a ghast. With a [[WoodenKatanasAreEvenBetter wooden sword]] needless to say, I feel a little badass. * This troper wants to tell the tale of two mines he and his friend found; they were called "Supermine" (the one I found) and "Supermine Jr." (the one my friend found) I found supermine when I was branch mining. After reaching bedrock, literally after I dug ''two blocks to the right'' I hit the mine. It had 50+ gold, over 4 stacks of Iron, over 9 stacks of Redstone and over 20 diamonds. Supermine Jr. was found deep in a giant pool of water, that goes down to the bedrock, with a glass room over the void, and if you don't bring along armor or food, you won't live long enough to get into Jr. Jr. had over 40 gold, over 50 Iron and 12 diamonds. We split it three-way with another friend of ours after I had retrieved all of the stuff. Humorously, when me and my friend reached the 'end' of the cave, we decided to

branch out, he went left, I went right. I only dug a few blocks, and bam, I hit a vein of diamonds. His overeagerness got the better of him, and he hopped into lava that the diamonds were over. * So I was mining one day. I didn't find much, just a whole bunch of cobblestone. After a few minutes, I stumbled upon a bunch of gravel. So, I mined through it and found more cobblestone. Mined through that. Next thing I knew, [[JumpScare water flooded in]] while a [[ScareChord Scare Chord]] played. I was frantically swimming upwards, and ran towards the mine exit as fast as I could. Luckily, the flood stopped at the stairway I had dug out. Of course, I was too spooked to mine further, and a good part of it was flooded, so I made my way out, picking up the torches I had gathered. When I got to land, [[OhCrap it was dark out.]] Then I realized that at any moment, [[HighOctaneNightmareFuel mobs could spawn in the]] [[NothingIsScarier pitch-black tunnel I had just dug out at any moment.]] Cue frantic running back to my cave home, iron sword in hand. [[MoodWhiplash The next day, I found a cow standing on a couple of dirt blocks floating in midair.]] * Did anyone's spawn point happened to be inside a cavern? Where the only light was about 20-30 blocks up and far away? Mine was, and it was a hell to get to that light source. The only thing I could use for digging was a dirt block, and took me 10 minutes to reach it. After that, everything was pretty much standard: punch trees, mine underground, build a house(made of stone), build another house with a floating farm and an artificial waterfall beside it. Then build a nether portal behind the waterfall. First trip to the nether was eventful, what with all the running away from ghast's, then falling off a cliff and surviving with only half a heart left, only to realize that the ghast's are coming and the only place to move into is a lake of lava. Ahh, good times. Also, tried to sleep on my bed at night, was woken up by a zombie. Happened 3 times until I moved the bed. ** I think that you might have been using a seed called "Gargamel". It spawns you underground. * Did a rage quit 'cause I fell into lava while mining some obsidian. With all my diamond tools. And Diamond suit. A few minutes into the new world, fell victim to an unexpected lava flow with no way out 'cause of poor judgement and breaking the cobblestone that was holding the lava in place. Rage quit that world too. * This troper had just started playing Minecraft, and I was trying to punch some wood down. The game wouldn't let me. Cracks would appear in the block, and then disappear. I tried this on the ground, and even leaves, only to yield the same results. I started walking around, before I ran into a tree and the game sorta froze up. It started zooming in on Steve?'s head, before the screen went blank. I was mildly pissed, and about to close out, when the character's face appeared on screen, just staring at me. It looked as if I was ''inside'' the character's head. It must have been a graphical error, [[NightmareFuel but still.]] * This troper's friend found a place on a server called "Ore Heaven"-a shaft with a ladder going down that leads down into a cave loaded with ore. [[spoiler:It was actually a trap--the ladders at some point stop and then there is a long fall into a pit to death.]]

* This troper has a few amusing stories: ** On an early playthrough, this troper was trying to explore. (She had turned the game to Peaceful Mode to do so.) One sunrise, however, saw her swimming along a channel of water and seeing some large black legs sticking out of the water a little ways forward. Utterly alarmed at the 'swimming spider' she jumped out of the water and ran in another direction. It wasn't until she had found her spawn point, deleted the world, and started a new one that she learned it had actually been a squid she'd seen. (This troper had been expecting the squids to look like Ikachan and promptly began looking for a texture pack to make them do so.) ** While on a SMP server with friends, I decided to go exploring. I found a snowy biome the first night and sat on an ice floe to wait for morning, hoping not to die. Took a few arrows, but that was about it. The next morning I swam out again, where I found a new continent. There was some clay there, but I didn't want to mine it because by that point I had no idea how to get back to my base and was pretty much counting on something killing me to get back. That night I found a beach and sat there until I saw an island with another snowy biome attached. I saw mobs there, figured 'If I survive I survive, if not I don't.' I got Creeper'd, but later my friend running the server (and a mapping program) asked if I went exploring super-far and died. When shown the map, it turned out I'd almost doubled the length of the revealed map. I think I'll make a house there. * This Troper went for a long trip from the base camp off to the "second camp" made, and from there, into an incredibly ridiculous mountain range that never ends. It takes three days worth of travel to reach the new location on foot, at a mountain lodge. Before I had memorized the way back (there are no roads or beacons, instead, I memorize distinguishing landmarks, and there are two that I normally follow by). Well, one morning, something possessed me to take a different route home. I knew it was in the "south west" area, just not the exact location. Packing up my belongings, I set off. After 4 days of travel, I lose my way-- I end up in a desert, find 2 open-air dungeons including one literally on a tiny island shaped like an almost-building, and then after leaving that, find more mountains. I decide I'll scale that mountain, build a shack, take account of my surroundings, and try to find the way home from there. A cabin was built with a small farm... in my eagerness to "settle down", I give up any hope of finding my way back home. Now, unbeknownst to me, this mountain, at the base of it, is where my first portal "exit" was, which has a stone shelter... when I peered down over the edge of the mountain, Captain Goldfish here SCREAMED out loud in horror, because she had COMPLETELY FORGOTTON about having a nether portal she only used once with a shelter! It was almost Herobrine/Israphel moment, until realization set in, and now knowing where I was, ran all the way home in 5 minutes and never left the first base for a week. ** This troper had the same thing happen, with one difference: I know, for a fact, that I did not build the portal. Imagine my relief a day or so later, when I found out that portals can spawn randomly. *** But what if it didn't? * This troper practically lives in Shards Of Protectorate, a Minecraft

server with some odd laws but a fun backstory. Anyway, he set out on his first day with his friend to build a secret base underwater. Said base grew from a one room box to a cave system of rooms, with 6 residents. Then the server crashed, destroying the binds for going home. The house is now lost in the wilderness, and I die every time I look for it. As a [[ScrewDestiny Retaliation to the Gods]], this Troper started a floating/underwater city to serve as a base of Operations while he searches for his old home. On another note, the [[EldritchLocation Abandoned City]] of Mirage has become his new [[CityOfAdventure playground]]. * This troper had an...interesting first server experience. Having spawned on a beach, I walked over to the mainland and started making some tools. Nothing bad so far. Unfortunatly, I hadn't collected any coal during the day, so I was without light when night came. I first thought to dig a little hole to hide in, but I realized I wouldn't be able to see and I couldn't see when it was day. So I hurried over to the beach and crouched in the water. After I few minutes of this I grew bored and climbed out of the water and wandered around a bit. I soon ran smack into a skeleton, turned around and guess wait I ran directly in front of next? I'll give you a hint: "PckSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" (BOOM!) Yeah. Fortunately, I respawned and managed to recollect my items and built a little house. Moral of the story: COLLECT COAL THE FIRST CHANCE YOU GET. * This troper wanted a better view of his mansion from the ocean, so he leveled a couple of mountains. (Naturally, with the difficulty on hard, gunpowder was abundant.) * This troper had the best Minecraft experience ever. While listening to Bohemian Rhapsody while exploring a cave, I found a vein of SIX diamonds RIGHT AS THE GUITAR PART STARTED. It was glorious. * I used an "ant tunneling" technique to mine for ores and within one hour, I manage to find a total of 40 diamonds. 40 diamonds. That's as much as 4 tens! ** [[AndThatsTerrible And]] [[MemeticMutation Thats]] [[InvertedTrope Awesome.]] * I was playing on a mulitplayer server with plenty of plug-in programs to help run it ,I've played on it for a while, but with the new map-update, the server was outdated. I wasn't able to get online there for at least a week. When I came back the plug-in program had made one of our towns into a ghost-town. I was forced to get out of there. I was able to save my stuff, and my dogs. I was sad, but it's alright! For I got to a new town, and most of my friends on the server lives there! Now one of my goals is to get back to the old town to properly say goodbye. * This Troper just had about the unluckiest death ever. After digging around for days (literal days, not in-game), I finally found some still lava, which I made into obsidian, and carried some away in a bucket for a trap in my enourmous castle. After I read about the Nether again, I thought about building a portal to it for the first time. I used the economy portal, since I had only 11 Obsidian blocks, and found myself in the Nether. I took with me my prized possessions because I was an Idiot, 3 diamond Pickaxes, 2 brand new, the other half used, a compass, several tools, and about 100 Torches. After

lighting my gatepoint out with the torches, I decided to mine some netherrack for use in traps and as firedecoration, since it burns indefinately. I then decided to mine some Glowstone, and made a staircase to it. I ran around in the formation and mined it, fallind down and died. After that shock, I went back fast and found all my items on the floor, picked them up again and decided to be more careful next time. So I build a Tower with a platform to mine the Glowstone, and this time, it worked perfectly. After decending back to ground level, I found a flow of lava, which I wanted to try to turn into Obsidian as well, but one cannot place water in the Nether. So I crouched and approached the Lava, but it was on the same level, so I fell in, burned to death and lost everything that was valuable to me...After that happened, I turned the game off, and came here to preserve it. Up until this point I managed to avoid lava-related death. Luckily I still have 6 Diamonds up in my shack, so I can at least make some pickaxes to mine for more... * I had the greatest Minecraft experience ever a few days ago. I was on a server with my friend, and we found a surface dungeon. The surface dungeon was attached to a cave, which we explored...and found ''another'' dungeon. That dungeon also had a path, which led to a ''[[{{BeyondTheImpossible}} third]]'' dungeon. ''And that one was actually a double-chest dungeon, and led to a cave full of gold and diamond.'' That led to...a dead end. Still, three dungeons (four dungeon chests), 15 diamond gems, 10 gold ore, and more moss stone than we can count, in ''under three minutes.'' Too bad my friend died from a Creeper attack. (I had all the good stuff though.) * I'm in the middle of building a massive compound next to the sea named Fort Hopeless, with a naval area, runway complete with a rusty B-52 (My story takes place in 2113, during the Human-Creeper Wars), a massive underground barracks, and a massive munitions hangar. Then I'm going to spawn lots of mobs and hold Fort Hopeless from them. * My old house was in a good place, but my mine, I would be lucky to find coal. So I decided to pack up my things and go somewhere else. Two in-game days later I found a nice place with a moat. I settled down there. When I went to mine, some of the first things I saw were iron ore blocks. After digging down, I found a mini-cave. I dug through that and I come to a place with water, LAVA, DIAMONDS, redstone, Lapiz lazuli, gold and OBSIDIAN. So I made my diamond pickaxe and I am making an obsidian farm! * This troper, having died, respawned. At night. With no weapons. His response? Punch out 3 spiders and 2 zombies. Good times. * I had a string of bad luck a few days ago, wherein I got ambushed by creepers right outside my house multiple times. One of the craters opened onto a pocket of lava, just three or four blocks below the surface, and [[TheLavaCavesOfNewYork not more than twenty steps away from the house]]. After the depths I had to go to to find lava in the caves, it's a little upsetting. On the other hand, if I'd found the near-surface lava pocket, I wouldn't have found the veins of diamond ore (only two blocks in the first one; delayed my getting a diamond pickax). - Classified ** Hey, Classified again, with more bad luck. I just got back from my first trip to the Nether. The gate on the Nether side was under an

overhang, with a lava waterfall right next to it. I saw a glowstone stalactite in a position where I could mine it from the ground, so I did, and when I came back, I was just in time to see the lavafall overflow and spill out onto the portal, extinguishing it. I wasn't carrying any obsidian, so I two choices: #1) dam the lava and reactivate the portal; and #2) get killed and respawn in the normal world. I chose option #1, but nearly had option #2 chosen for me when a Ghast interrupted my wall-building efforts. After leading it away, I came back to my portal to find the lava had finally drained, so I got out my flint & steel and returned to the normal world with half a heart left. * The two highlights of this troper's world are based in the vertical and the horizontal: a tower/mineshaft/base that goes from bedrock to the top of the sky; and a linear cart tunnel so long, I built a new base halfway down it because I wanted to explore. Anyways, I'd found a new cave at the latest end of this tunnel, and blew through almost 3 iron pickaxes mining it. I had 60+ redstone, 12+ lapis, 40ish iron ore, about 20 gold ore, and 6 diamonds. So naturally I fell through the floor while trying to mine COAL after all this and landed in lava. And of course, I had my clock, compass, half-completed map and twenty Powered Rails on my person as well. I really wish there was a way to copy your map... * Back in 1.6.6 I accidently put a nuke (With a mod) in my base. THEN a creeper walks in and detonates it. BOOM goes nuke, BOOM goes base, I RageQuit, But there IS a good part, When I made a portal to the Nether, I came out of my old, UNTOUCHED portal and using the minimap mod, marked where my base was and looked around. Then I saw a half blown up surface dungeon with Zombie spawner and 2 chests. What do I FIND in the chests, A GOLDEN APPLE. * This troper had just obtained a map, and thus decided to go around filling it out. I set out with very few supplies (just some tools, the map, a clock, and a compass). I was rather far from my base and in the taiga biome, collecting snowballs, when I look up to see a creeper coming down the hill towards me. Boom. I had to work my way back to base on half a heart, no armor, and no food, being very careful not to fall off of ledges. Needless to say I took plenty of food and extra armor on subsequent mapping expeditions. * [[{{Tropers/Marr965}} This troper]] has just finished harvesting a tree. From it, he got ''35'' saplings, and '''38''' wood. * This Troper, after running out of things to do in single player, started experimenting with the possibility of growing taller trees. The result? [[http://i53.tinypic.com/dpz8lf.png This]]. In case you're wondering, level the leaves on top so the wood is exposed, plonk some dirt down, sapling, bonemeal if you're impatient, remove the dirt, replace with wood and repeat until [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotAwesome awesome]]. ---Go back to {{Minecraft}} and try to avoid the creepers. [[spoiler:'''''SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS''''']]

MinMaxing * So, [[DeltaOne This Troper]] doesn't know why everyone rags on dualwielding and raves about spiked chains. He had a player in his campaign present a character build for a 15th level fighter. Using Monkey Grip and Oversized Two Weapon Fighting, this character was dual wielding ''scythes''. Magic, keen scythes. Average damage was working out at more than 60 points per round. It's the only character build I've ever shut down without question. ** Two-Weapon Fighting is an excellent build, but yours isn't so good. Instead try a Human Rogue 11/Figther 4 with all the two-weapon fighting feats and Weapon Finesse; dual-wield Kukris for maximum effect. Of course you need to flank your opponent but you can deal easily over 150 damage a round if you are hasted and hit with all your attacks, even hitting with just two or three out of 7 attacks deals more damage than your build. That's core only as well. Alternatively a Half-Orc Barbarian 15 wielding a + 5 lance atop a horse with the Spirited Charge feat and a Rage adjusted Strength of 30 (that's a conservative strength mind you) deals (1d8+ 20)x3, average 72, more if you use power attack (a mere -5 to hit gives + 30 to damage) on a charge. Also core only. If you don't mind non-core there is a way to give a Barbarian the Pounce ability, allowing him to make a full attack on a charge, each attack doing that much damage. ** For a simpler build, a Wizard 15 with the maximize spell feat can maximize a Cone of Cold to deal 90 damage, reflex half, against multiple foes. 60 average damage simply isn't very Min Maxed. Non core a Wizard/Sorcerer 15 can Maximize an Orb of Acid/Cold/Fire/Lightning to do that much damage to a single foe, and since it's a touch attack it will almost certainly hit. ** Not an example. Dual-wielding is a feat trap, Monkey Grip doubly so. 60 damage/round is nothing special on level 15. Dungeons and Dragons min-maxers go the two-handed weapon route. If they play a fighter class at all, rather than the usual of a [[CrazyPrepared Batman Wizard]], a [[GameBreaker CoDzilla or a Druid]]. ** Scythes in 3.5 have a x4 Crit multiplier. I once built a Rakshasa Scythe Specced Weapon Master in a Neverwinter Nights server that was modded for enemies to drop epic level weapons regularly and level limits removed on all items. At level 14 or so I was routinely critting for 150 plus damage with my epic tiered keen scythe and even the higher level players were wary of my ability to knock over half their health off with one attack in the PVP arena. * This Troper sometimes thinks he was Min/Maxed. He has a series of non-critical health issues that on paper sound like they wouldn't be too bad (bad allergies, bad joints, bad sinuses...). Which would free up points to spend on Intelligence, Strength, and the like, which he does have in above average amounts. * In a Heavy Gear game This Troper is partaking in, 2 main PC's were recently killed. This Troper created a balanced character, who'se pretty competent in their field. The second new PC, is about the size of an eight year old child, has the physical strenght of a death camp survivor, will fall over after running 5 steps, but it a spectacular gear pilot, and has such high agility, he's impossible to hit. With some slight Genre Savviness, my character has taken to refering to him

by the nickname 'Munchkin'. * This Troper plays with two engineering majors who have been playing 3.x editions D&D since 3.0 came out. It's not so much that they minmax as they are incapable of NOT min-maxing, even when they are deliberately making a character for flavor over power. (And when they DO actively min-max-- fortunately, not often-- my god....) It's rather frustrating to play alongside, as I either have to get them to help me build my character or spend weeks reading every single applicable source book if I want my own character to not be completely useless alongside theirs. And even then, it rarely works. * This troper is like this in real life: No strength, No Charisma, No Constitution, No wisdom. Incredible Dexterity and Intelligence. ** Minmaxing is a habit of human beings. I've yet to mean a really well-rounded person. ** Really? Most people I know are average to above average in everything. *** Wouldn't that make them above average the new [[HumansAreAverage Average]]? * This troper qualifies as a min-maxer, but not because he thinks it's "right," because he enjoys seeing how far he can bend and stretch the system. * This troper is involved in a game of the Series/DoctorWho tabletop game, in which their friend is an extraordinary min-maxer. He has nearly all of the weaknesses (Bad Traits) available in the system, has sold all of his Story Points (get out of jail free cards) for skill points, and has very few positive traits. However, he has a minimum of 5/6 points in every category, except for a couple which he's ignored. One of his only good traits allows him to go over the six point minimum. He managed to roll higher than the Doctor (played by me) nearly every time. * This troper was playing a FF based tabletop and ended up with a character who had 2 dex but 12 strength, did 200% more damage to beasts and constructs,never had to sleep or even breath, and started with a tier 2 weapon making me do 2d6+24 damage when I attack. Did I mention this is at level 1. * In a swiss amateur tabletop adaptation for {{Fallout}}, [[Tropers/ElodieHiras I]] created a way overpowered character. Strengh: 3, Perception: 10, Endurence: 3, Charisma: 3, Intelligence: 10, Agility: 6, , Luck: 6, Small frame (AG +1 (explaining why I have 41 points for my stats), but lowers the wheigh I can carry), finesse ([[CriticalHit Critical rate]] boost, but lower damage output). With that, I maxed out my skill points gain, and spend all my points in [[CombatMedic Small guns, Healing]], and Sneak. Then, I took Nigh Vision perk, and all the perks boosting my critical rate, and kept aiming just between the eyes. So I got 8 criticals out of ten shots, and 3 lethal (or coma inducing) criticals out of ten. That means that every four shots I take, any ennemy will go down, even if I shoot with a [[ImprovisedWeapon wooden gun]]. And even if my ennemy wears a [[PoweredArmor Power Armor]]. My sneak skills means I can get close enough to take a shoot without fear of getting shot wjile moving, my high perception means I can't fall for an ambush, night vision means that I got a huge advantage during nighttime, and with my healing

skills, if I'm wounded, I can heal myself. Sure, [[GlassCannon I don't have many]] HitPoints, [[GlassCannon and can't wear heavy armor]], but as long as someone is covering me the old fashioned way, I can destroy anything that isn't a tank. * This troper GMs for a bunch of minmaxers. He usually keeps his cool with the players, but there comes a limit. After having a 10 minute long argument with a player about why he can't have Dex of 4 and IQ of 5 in GURPS without being mentally retarded and lame, He then hit his boiling point, and then screamed "YOU MOTHER FUCKING, COCK SUCKING, RULES LAWYERING, MIN MAXING, BASTARD!" and walked out of the room. * This troper once min-maxed a [[WorldofWarcraft World of Warcraft]] pre-BC hunter for the sole purpose of defeating VC. [[DidNotDoTheResearch What a noob I was]] as I basically meleed the hell outta him. That was level 38 in 2005; today anyone with half a brain could do so at less than level 30. ---Go back to MinMaxing here. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

MinoredInAssKicking Got your degree? Tell us about it! ---* [[Tropers/{{Smerf}} This]] troper got his high school varsity letter in judo, then studied karate and fencing in college while working on his BS in Biology. ** And now I have a doctorate. Yay, graduating! ** Oh, and his best friend took karate at college at the same time. This added a black belt in karate to his 2nd degree black belt in Tai Kwan Do, plus previously studying Brazilian Jujutsu, Judo and Hopkido. * This troper is a BS Chemistry student who won't mind getting his hands dirty given a good reason to. * [[WhiteArchmage This Troper]] is a soft-spoken literature student, also trained in the use of short rods and long staves, bow and arrows, knives, a little bit of fencing and some judo. Even while being short, he would probably the most dangerous member of the student council if not for an insanely-low stamina. ** Teach [[BassFZ me]] sensei... * [[{{Alrune}} This female troper]] is a mild-mannered, quiet and open-minded librarian with glasses. But she's also a kung-fu black belt and is versed in Brazilian jiu-jitsu. * At this troper's college, graduate students who are members of the karate club tend to get their PhDs and black belts at roughly the same time (it takes a few years for both). This trope is invoked. * This troper takes karate at college. Our sensei only teaches karate part time. His other classes are in accounting. * [[{{Tropers/Joerc45}} This troper]] is a [[ShrinkingViolet soft spoken]] {{Bookworm}} who just so happens to be a black belt in Tae Kwon Do. * This troper writes for a living. He's a short, slightly overweight

man with a big smile and a neverending fountain of clean wordplay jokes - generally ones people laugh at, and then groan about. He's thrown a man through a window, has had to jointlock no less than five different people and threaten them with limb crippling (no one forced it, thankfully), beat somebody over the back with a chair, hit somebody over the head with a book, and knocked a guy rolling over a table. He's lost one fight in his life. He was nine. * this troper is a bookworm (to the point I was tested at a college grade reading level by third grade) and science geek (heck, in different years in middle school I managed to get an outstanding+ for effort on my report as well as the highest grade in class, while in a different year I had one of the highest grades but got one of the lowest effort grades because what was covered I already knew well enough I found the class boring) as well as being on the short side of average and sickly. this troper has also has taken karate classes and because of her chronic pain condition has developed a fantastic level of pain endurance. still, because she was brainy, sickly, and unpopular in school to the point that one year in middle school she started being bullied VERY physically as well as mentally by a female jock who even some of the male jocks were afraid to displease. this troper took the abuse as passively as possible since she doesn't like physical violence (and, quite frankly, had little self confidence at the time having been bullied into submission early on in elementary school) until the point she had enough. after getting kicked one too many times she kicked back, then when kicked harder she turned around, took a breath, and aimed a punch at her face just far enough under the eye to leave a bit of a lump without giving her a black eye, deliberately aiming it that way, then walked away while the tough girl jock stood in shock wondering just how she got pwned by someone considered to be the wimpy school punching bag. she still got bullied after that, but it was far less severe and never physical after that. it was also the first step on this troper's path to gaining selfconfidence to be more than just get passive-aggressive as a reaction to things. * My favorite Lit prof is this. She studies Shakespearean literature, and is like 5'4", maybe. Anybody that tried to gay-bash her is in for a surprise (and damage), as she boxes. ---Want to get your degree? Go [[{{MinoredInAssKicking}} here]] for more information how!

MinorInjuryOverreaction * [[BassFZ This troper]] will seriously fly off the handle if something even ''touches'' me that I don't expect. But as for getting a Big Fraggin' Needle stuck in my back (pneumonia) and most other things, hardly a show of pain. * [[JDreyfuss This troper]] for example is known well enough for complaining about very minor injuries that his friends in the past have been surprised at stoic reactions to falling off of the back of a moving truck or spilling fresh (200F) coffee over his hand. ** [[UnitOmega This Troper]] acts similarly, saying "ow" as the

slightest tap (and once apparently saying it before a blow even landed), but notably remains silent when he for example, stubs his toe real bad, or gets a cramp. *** I do exactly the same thing. *** Omigod, me too! Like ALL the time. *** Same here... *** Exactly the same. My friends would have me close my eyes as they pretended to hit me. And I still said 'Ow!'. *** Are you all me? Or clones of me? * [[BretheWriter This troper]] was in the hospital with appendicitis, and popped her staples...she SLEPT THROUGH the doctor [[spoiler:pulling out the staples, ''reaching into her abdomen and pulling out the infection'', packing the cavity with gauze, and taping a bandage over the hole.]] She woke up with an "ow", however, when the doctor readjusted the tape. ** ...*look down at bowl of cereal* ... *toss it over shoulder* * Being hit hard enough in one blow to cause non-negligible pain to this troper causes her to fly into a brief berserker rage and respond with several times the original amount of violence. (I'm pretty sure this is left over from the [[TheBerserker nitroglycerine temper]] I had as a child.) This sometimes also happens (with less rage) if nobody's at fault for the injury: instead of hitting the person who did it, I'll hit the object responsible. However, I didn't get mad when I dropped a bowling ball on my toe or got my finger stuck in an elevator door, nor did the berserker-rage thing happen the one time since puberty when I got into a fight that ''wasn't'' with my sister. * Papercuts hurt like a '''''perfectly nice woman'''''. * [[DaNuke Da_Nuke]] is ''very'' sensitive to pain and thus has a ''very'' marked tendency to over-react to injuries. The latest: I was playing soccer with my friends at the beach, and I somehow kicked one of the goal posts with my bare foot. It never went beyond a purple finger. My reaction? "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" * This troper has extremely sensitive toes - when stub them, cue hobbling around on one foot groaning and sitting down for ten minutes owing while inspecting the injury. However, in any more serious injury, I tend to become either embarrassed and apologetic - "It's nothing, don't worry, I'll be fine, no seriously, just go back to what you were doing before" - or controlled - "You! Get me a bag of ice! I think I broke my arm." * I manage to invert this and play it straight at the same time by not showing signs of pain at what someone would at least say "ow" about and grunting at small pains like stretching. There was also someone in my school who screamed when she was hit by the cotton ball of a santa hat. * Google "sensory defensiveness." A picture of [[SovietKitty this troper]] crying like a baby after having a powder puff or something equally innocuous thrown at her should be there. ** Oh my god, I didn't know there was a word for that. * This troper goes "ow" over weak taps. He once got a small block of metal cutting his hand almost to the bone. He said "huh", covered the

hole and called his brother to come and take him to get it stitched up, in a tone one would use to ask for a ride to the store. * My friends actually now realise that the only times I'm in real pain are when I don't react at all, choosing instead to go almost entirely frozen. tiny things elicit hours of moaning over how much I hurt, ripped tendons result in absolute silence. * [[{{Quillpaw}} This troper]] has "thin skin", making her very sensitive to changing temperatures and ''extremely'' sensitive to pain. Scraping a finger or hand across a surface that is in any way rough or sharp usually results in a reaction ranging from a surprised "Ow!" and "OW[[UnusualEuphemism COMPOSER]]ITHURTS!" Strangely enough, she barely reacts when her cat [[CatsAreMean scores its claws down her arm or stabs her through her jeans.]] * [[{{Gerusz}} This troper]]: breaking a minor bone? Not even a "fuck". Peeling off several square inches of skin from his knee? Doesn't even feel it. Cutting himself accidentally with a shard of glass a centimeter deep on the ankle? He only stops to stop the bleeding with his sock. However, a small cut on the hand, and he drops a gigantic ClusterFBomb. Weird. * This troper forces herself to be stoic when, say, she dislocates her knee or rips off the entire fingernail, but stubbing her toe, pulling her hip out for a moment, or poking herself too hard when she fixes bruised nails elicits screaming. * This troper and all of her friends started hyperventalating and panicking when she got a small, one inch scrape on her shin. To be fair though, it appeared that she had scraped her leg to the bone as there was no skin left on that part of her shin and the wound was not bleeding and bone white. This troper also tends to say "ow" to things that don't even her. * This troper's sister frequently pulls this. This troper once whacked her in the back of the neck with a sock and she told his parents. * ThisTroper is quite odd about this. I'm quite used to taking major hurt and ending up with bad bruises from martial arts. In fact, some people think of me as a bit of a Determinator, yet I often times hit my shoulder going through a doorway, stub my toe, and get paper cuts, and they all hurt beyond all reason. * This troper got a minor burn from a glue gun in college. I was unfazed; it was my tutor who freaked out. He sent me to get first aid. * This troper tends to react quite strongly to minor injuries. He reacts the same way to major injuries, or being tapped on the shoulder. Apparently he just has one response level, regardless of severity. * This troper has a little sister who will scream before you even hit (actually, more like tap) her. She starts screaming like a mad woman if she throws up, and she'll continue to loudly declare how much you hurt her even if it's five minutes later, and it was just an accidental bump. * I have sensitive arms, so whenever people like to playfully punch me there, I can't help but make unhappy noises. I don't have any problem with getting shots, though. * [[PentiumMMX2 This troper]] knew a kid who blew everything out of proportion when describing an injury. For example, he told me about

falling off his bike and going into {{Squick}}-inducing details on it (Claiming that blood was everywhere, among other things). A little while later, I asked his sister about it, to which she explained that he only got a minor scrape when that happened; it wasn't anywhere close to being as severe as he claimed it was. With how he was describing a minor injury from the past, he probably overreacts over every little cut, scrape, or bruise. * This troper's dad is like this, albeit in more of an OCD way than a hand-waving freak-outery way. It's particularly annoying because he will do stuff that will reduce the appearance of blood or otherwise make it look better temporarily, but actually do more damage in the process. For instance, his response to a nosebleed is to cram so much wadded-up tissue up there that it causes the blood to drain down the throat '''and''' occasionally tickle the nostril enough to trigger a sneeze. He also continues doing this "just to be safe" for several minutes after the blood has already clotted, which will often cause it to restart after a sneeze. At least I trained him to quit forcibly doing it to ''me'' every time he sees me with a nosebleed. * [[{{Magnezone}} This Troper]]'s mother is known to overreact about cold weather. Not just mildly; I'm talking gloves and a coat on the beach in summer. Hilariously, this Troper isn't bothered by cold weather at all, but warm weather makes her cranky. In childhood, when neither of us realized this and she tried to get me to wear a thick black coat in mid-spring... Irritability Ensued. * In an Electronics Lab class, one of [[@/{{endlessness}} this troper]]'s classmates (known for being rather [[TheDitz ditzy]]) got a (rather small, as we were using 12V) shock from a capacitor. Her scream was heard in the entire lab building. * This troper is...strange when it comes to injuries. She doesn't find tattoos or piercings, but freaks out at papercuts. * I once ran a steak knife through my hand trying to peel apart frozen meat. While I think my reaction to that wasn't an overreaction (jumped around a little, said a few swear words, then told my mom to take me to a doctor), the glue that they used to paste my skin back together (which they said wouldn't hurt) hurt like a motherfu-. * It's a RunningGag in my school to, whenever a minor injury occurs, to go "AHH MY SPLEEN" and clutch your elbow. This is because of an incident where a kid (AttentionWhore) who was touring the school got lightly hit by a ball and pretended it hurt. Problem? He had no idea about where your spleen is, or, apparently, an elbow. * Ok, giving blood... The relatively large needle used for venipucture (and hence, actually taking the blood) is always less painful than the tiny little prick on your fingertip to check haemoglobin levels. The times when it isn't... they've just fucked up and driven a metal spike into your bicep... * My little brothers, when they argue and one hits the other, the one whos hit will always cry and run to our parents screaming like theyve broken an arm or been shot or something, nomatter how small the injury is. * This troper frequently twitches and shakes whenever he is poked in the neck or back, but when he fell from a tire swing and hit the ground hard enough to knock the wind out of him, he just laid there

and said "I'll be fine." * Today I heard a crash and a scream, and my little brother (aged six) had fallen off his chair. He came crawling over like he had broken his legs or something...when he came over to me I helped him to his feet and asked him what he had hurt. His answer: his little finger, which looked perfectly fine * This is me. Sometimes, injuries in gym class(like being hit hard with the ball) make me not only scream, but unable to play for the next few minutes, at least. I just can't continue playing if it still hurts, dammit! * Everytime this Troper falls down while playing and scratches all her leg, her classmates are the ones who are PANICKING... they tend to hurry me to go and wash it; I alwys prefer staying in the game, until the teacher tells me to go. ---Go back to [[MinorInjuryOverreaction Minor Injury Overr- AHH! THAT HURT! AHHHHHHH! I MGHT HAVE CARPAL TUNNEL! AAAAHHHHHH! WHY DID I HAVE TO CLICK IT? AHHHHHHHHHH!]] ---<<|TroperTales|>>

MinovskyPhysics * ThisTroper once wrote a story with a type of particle called a Velocichron. Velocichrons are tiny particles that have a North side and a South side. If a particle moves within a certain distance of it, it is within the area of effect. If it moves North while in the area of effect, it moves into the future (how far depends on speed), and vice versa. The speeds required to move significant distances through time, combined with the fact that they're usually all pointing in different directions means that it usually has no effect. But if you use a magnet to point them all in the same direction and then shoot something through a field at high speeds, they can be used to travel through time, but to get to your destination you need to consider the density and size of the field and the speed at which you shoot it through. * [[NeoSilverThorn This Troper]] has actually invoked the [[MinovskyPhysics Minovsky Particle]] by name as an explanation as to why his house seems to jam all cell phones in a three-house diameter. We're not going to get into the particles from his own sci-fi stories. (Most are AppliedPhlebotinum, anyways.) * ThisTroper has written a ''{{Firefly}}''fanfic that treated the [[PsychicPowers psychic abilities]] created by the Academy in their test subjects like this. * The Ultra Particles used by this troper in his CodeGeass fanfic. They "link" to the Sakuradite and increase its power, thus increasing the power of any beam weapons. They also color the beams blue.

---Go write your college thesis on the effects of MinovskyPhysics. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

Miracle-GroMonster * Not exactly, but [[MmmKay this troper]] had a cat kinda like this. [[RidiculouslyCuteCritter It was so cute and tiny]], not to mention ''[[CuteButCacophonic loud]]'', but it didn't seem to take to long before the little thing started to '''balloon'''... it took only a few years, but the thing went from [[MostWonderfulSound Kawaii]] to [[HeavyVoice Gojira]]. The poor thing was getting too big for everything, and so we gave it away. To this day, I still hear its big fat mews calling out at me... I just hope it lost weight... * [[BassFZ This troper himself]] was around 4'5" until he was 14 and grew to 5'10" within the span of around 8 months. ---[[MiracleGroMonster Did you click here?]] YouFool! You made the Trope monster grow again! ---<<|TroperTales|>>

MirrorScare * For me, mirrors are the way to ''cure'' fear. That's why the old [[spoiler: DON'T TURN AROUND NOW]] trick does not work on me - when I sit in front of the computer, there is a mirror right behind me and when I see how pitiful I look scared, all the fear automatically changes into self-disappointment. I did, however, once scare my friend like that - I sneaked on her when she was washing her face and stood in silence, so that when she looked up there were two faces in the mirror, hers and mine. She almost stabbed me with a toothbrush. * I'm not the only one who is terrified of mirrors for this very reason, right? ** To elaborate: I'm not afraid of mirrors on a regular basis. But if, for some reason, I'm already spooked, mirrors (and all other reflective surfaces) are ''terrifying.'' I'm afraid that I'll see something that's not there reflected in the mirror. My solution is to keep my head bowed, and refuse to look in the mirror. If I don't look into it, nothing can appear in it! [[SarcasmMode Genius!]] * No you're not. I have a fairly odd variety of the mirror scare. Its not that I'm just afraid of seeing something else in the mirror. I seem to be ''expecting'' to see something else and seeing the human face is what startles me. Yet at the same time, the thought of whatever I expect to see gives me shivers on a similar level. To summarize, I'm afraid of what I feel I ''should'' see in the mirror.... ** This different troper has this, except he also expects to see...something...when he opens a door when he is on his own in the

house and it is late at night. To be fair, he likes writing short horror stories which feature this trope, so it might just be that rubbing off on him... * Inverted for this troper, he was always afraid that the mirror would look normal, and then he'd turn around and there'd be something there. * This troper is now watchful for a flicker in the mirror. [[Series/DoctorWho Sister of Mine, always watching...]] * I'm afraid of being in between [[{{Discworld}} two mirrors at once...]] * I'm afraid of windows and mirrors when I'm alone at night. I don't know why... * The wall behind my computer is black marble, and occasionally at night I'll startle myself by looking at my own reflection. I still am afraid that someday I'll see a dark figure and ignore it, only to ** OH GOD, DON'T DO THAT!! ** Do what, do what? [[NothingIsScarier Now I'm terrified...]] ** Not to kill the terror, but [[spoiler:I believe that was in reference to the troper cutting off suddenly. Though, to revive it, it could be that both were tropers, and the other troper...ever seen ''HardCandy''?]] * This troper was once at a [[NightmareFuel wax museum]] in New Orleans, and she didn't really want to be there after a couple of seconds because it was quite dark, and the only lights were on the exhibits, many of which were [[UncannyValley very creepily realistic,]] but my parents wouldn't let me leave. I was standing looking at one of the scenes, and there was a mirror behind me, so I turned a bit and nearly scared myself to the point of screaming loud enough to set off an alarm because it was too dark to truly tell that was just a reflection and was terrified just by seeing my own movement. * After watching a Fatal Frame video, I am absolutely TERRIFIED of my bathroom mirror. * I've done this to family, roomates, girlfriends; unintentionally though, since I naturally move quickly and quietly. You'd think someone living with me for awhile would become accustomed to it. Popping up next to them in the kitchen or slipping around them in the hallway may spook them, but showing up behind them in the mirror to reach for my toothbrush ''really'' freaks them out. * This Troper's friend once experienced this. She had just gotten out of shover, so she didn't have her glasses on. When she looked in the mirror, she saw ''a pale, thin hand on her shoulder, but she didn't feel it there''. When she looked closer, it apparently disappeared. * A variation for this troper -- when he's in a darkened room with a mirror and he happens to look into it, he ''cannot'' keep himself from constantly looking back into it, just to make sure that everything in it is correct. No matter what he tells himself, nothing will ever convince him that his reflection is doing ''exactly'' what he's doing when he's not looking at it. ** [[CompletelyMissingThePoint You watched Mirrors too, didn't you?]] * The mirror in my bathroom allows you to see out the door, down the hallway and all the way through the kitchen to the living room. I kept glancing nervously toward the reflection of the living room while I

was brushing my teeth one night, making myself more and more anxious every time. Finally, I told myself that I wasn't going to see anything scary lurking in the darkness, and I spit out the toothpaste. At the exact moment I looked back at the mirror, a head poked around the corner of the hallway, staring straight at me. After a few minutes, when I was sure I wasn't having a heart attack, I told my brother yes, I would be happy to give him a ride to his friend's house, and he should stop walking around so quietly like a fucking ghost. * When I'm away at college, I live in an on-campus house with seven other girls, and share a bathroom upstairs with three of them. The sink in our bathroom is a total old-horror-movie set up - weird pastel green porcelain bowl with old knobs and faucet, and a pretty rusty set-in medicine cabinet with mirror above it. The toilet is right behind the sink, the wall separating the shower is just to the left, big window just to the right. My roommate and I are both terrified of leaning down to brush our teeth or wash our face, coming back up and seeing someone behind us. It just feels like it's going to happen. Not to mention the house is quite, quite old, and we're pretty sure it's haunted. This leads to a lot of cautious looks all around when bent over and rinsing your face. Almost acrobatic. * In my bathroom, I always have a multitude of black bathrobes haging from the back of the door. I was working on my makeup one morning, when I saw one of them out of the corner of my eye around the open door in the mirror, and it looked just like a pitch black human figure staring at me. I freaked out and stabbed myself in the eye with my eyelinear. I closed the door, but when I went back to what I was doing, that shape was still there, but only in the mirror. * I once went on a class trip. Instead of camping like we were supposed to, we stayed in a creepy little hostel in the middle of nowhere due to the weather. There were two groups of girls, and the other group kept coming into our room. I decided to hide under the bed to see if I could scare them by grabbing at their ankles when they came in. I figured it would work, because it was such a creepy place. So I lay down on the floor next to the bed, lifted the weird skirt thing around the legs of the bed, and... there was no 'under' to the bed. Just a mirror. I saw a face looking back at me, and for a moment was convinced that it was either a corpse or a serial killer. I let out a good yelp before I realized that it was just me. ---Before you go back to MirrorScare you should adjust your- GAAAH! ----

MirrorUniverse * This troper is particularly proud of the [[EvilTwin evil twins]] from an AlternateHistory Mirror Universe she thought of for her RP group, listed here in FiveManBand and FiveBadBand forms. -->Erika, '''TheHero''': Easygoing, two-fisted German heroine/'''The BigBad''': Strict, cruel[[ThoseWackyNazis SS officer]] -->Sapphire, '''TheLancer''': Patriotic British markswoman and quipper with a pedigree, disabled/'''TheDragon''': [[AristocratsAreEvil

Tyrannical, lordly]] EgomaniacHunter, able-bodied -->Susie, '''TheBigGuy''': Southern American farm laborer and GentleGiant/'''TheBrute''': CorruptHick and brute from TheDeepSouth -->Setsuko, '''TheSmartGuy''': Japanese-American technical and managerial genius, slightly obsessive-compulsive/'''The EvilGenius''': Mad inventor and [[WrenchWench mechanical expert]], ControlFreak -->Colette, '''TheChick''': French star dancer, playful and good at communications/'''The DarkChick''': Vendetta-obssessed spy, who may or may not be a ReverseMole * One building at this troper's college is most easily reached by walking ''through'' the building where this troper has most of her classes--as in, if you walk down one corridor far enough you will eventually end up in the other building. Since said other building is initially identical to this troper's main building aside from having different coloured staircases, this troper has frequently joked that it is an evil MirrorUniverse. * This troper tends to create mirror universe versions of her favourite characters with abandon-- such as the [[TheVamp sexy, silky stockinged]] [[TheDitz innocent child-woman knife-nut]] version of [[{{Discworld}} Teatime]], and a character who's a MagnificentBastard future adult version of [[{{Bully}} Jimmy Hopkins]] had he never attended Bullworth. In a prison AU. * My friends and I were discussing about Mirror Universes and our Counterparts, they came to the conclusion I would be represented by a Hare rather then Turtle, The second girl would love monkeys and hate cats, and a friend that is a girl that is a Tomboy would be a Boy that acts like a girl, weird, huh? * This troper should first warn you that, not liking other people or the real world, she created her own world as well as many friends and accidently enemies, too, and . That being said, she and friends Aster and Alexander once stumbled into a Mirror World through a reflective puddle one day after a rain storm that didn't feel quite natural. There, we found that Alex was a jerkass Manipulative Bastard, Aster was a quiet and lonely kid in Junior High who was constantly the target of bullies, and as for this troper, Alice (her Cloud Cuckoolander personality) didn't exist, and since Alice is Kitty's (the Manipulative Bastard, Anti Hero personality) Morality Chain, Kitty was currently ruling the world as an evil overlord, meaning that those of us from the real world had to join the Resistance (the Orginization's good counterpart) lead by a Karma (my Arch Enemy in our world), who had Chronic Hero Syndrome, to stop Kitty. Rereading this passage, this troper just realized how strange her world really is. * [[ROBRAM89 This troper]] has had ''several'' friends who were clearly Evil Me in some way or another. Of course, they all think I'm Evil Them. * DrThinker is proud of creating [=TVCliches=] as the MirrorUniverse version of TVTropes at the end of Mirror Universe's entry over in the PlayingWithWiki Index. * [[PentiumMMX2 This troper]] made use of a Mirror Universe in one of his stories; with the heroes meeting evil versions of themselves, who not only acted differently, but wore different colors as well. * Broward County, FL high schools have about two or three floor plans

shared between 20+ high schools. As a result, when this troper in debate club visited a school with an identical floor plan to his own school, he referred to it as his school's "mirror twin". The other school even had its buildings numbered in the reverse order! * This troper once made up a cast list for a ''StarTrekTheOriginalSeries'' in which all of the characters (except Chekov) came from ''Communist'' countries. (This was before TheGreatPoliticsMessup.) Captain Kirkov and Doctor Leonid Mikoyev were Russian, of course; Spock's beard was modelled on Castro's because his mother was Cuban; Nurse Schappel was from East Germany.... * [[{{Tropers/Crion87}} This troper]] is currently brainstorming an AlternateUniverse that is mostly like our own but a mix of this trope and mild undercurrents of BizarroUniverse - where TheGreatPoliticsMessUp [[{{SovietRussiaUkraineAndSoOn}} was largely averted]], [[{{LandOfDragons}} the People's Republic of China]] was instead taken over by a [[{{RoyallyScrewedUp}} completely bonkers imperial leader and his wife and kids]] complete with a [[{{PresidentEvil}} Prime Minister Evil]], DeadlyDecadentCourt and [[{{PuttingOnTheReich}} jackbooted]] [[{{EvilArmy}} legions]] but is also somewhat amiable with [[{{Eagleland}} Uncle Sam]], but [[{{Qurac}} Iran]] was not overthrown by [[{{TheFundamentalist}} the Ayatollah and his cohorts]] but instead by [[{{DirtyCommunists}} another equally extreme bunch with a strong alliance and sense of allegiance to Soviet Moscow]]. As for the USA, AlGore was elected President in 2000 resulting in a prosperous ecological country with cold fusion but the recent election of SarahPalin while welcomed by the GeneralRipper community who had been sidelined, is also a [[{{Understatement}} cause for concern]] from the [[{{InSovietRussiaTropeMocksYou}} Soviet Union]]. [[{{LandDownunder}} Australia]] is not too different from OTL, however, despite it being a [[{{TheRepublic}} republic]] and also a bit overly friendly with the aforementioned [[{{TheEmpire}} Imperial]] [[{{LandOfDragons}} China]] (leading some to suspect [[{{PresidentEvil}} President]] [[{{NoCelebritiesWereHarmed}} Evan Dudd]] (or maybe [[{{PresidentEvil}} President]] [[{{NoCelebritiesWereHarmed}} Toby Deacon]]) might be planning to [[{{DyingLikeAnimals}} sell the country up the river]] and rule for life as an [[{{TheQuisling}} Imperial Governor]] on behalf of [[{{TheEmpire}} their aformentioned 'assumed' East Asian ally]] (most likely said would-be Quislings are also engaging in in-verse DidNotDoTheResearch given [[{{Tropers/Crion87}} this troper]] has heard such politicans usually end up RewardedAsATraitorDeserves...). Oh, and a comet had smacked into Siberia during the latter part of TheSeventies introducing a fungal form of AlienKudzu to Earth, raising the future possibility of AlienInvasion by ScaryDogmaticAliens with OrganicTechnology (likely to be TheFundamentalist, given [[{{Tropers/Crion87}} this troper's]] [[{{BerserkButton}} almost-instinctive hatred of]] [[{{TheFundamentalist}} any extreme religious fanaticism]] [[{{JustifiedTrope}} virtually since seeing 9/11 on the TV]] in RealLife - hopefully he will not let AuthorAppeal come too much into their ''physical'' design, for they might be [[{{HandWave}} from a very UV-deprived]] [[{{FridgeLogic}} and likely cold home planet]]

[[{{AuthorAppeal}} resulting in their]] [[{{EvilAlbino}} always having an excessively pallid complexion]] - which if their [[{{PathOfInspiration}} theocratic]] [[{{GalacticConqueror}} leadership]] aliens who boss around the BattleThralls in the name of [[{{UltimateEvil}} The Weave]] - [[{{TheDarkSide}} a force of evil]] [[{{DarkMessiah}} masquerading as good]], likely to be the [[{{HumanoidAliens}} look humanly]] [[{{Bishoujo}} attractive enough]], kind of has UnfortunateImplications as well, which combined with [[{{YellowPeril}} using an alternate Imperial China as]] [[{{GullibleLemmings}} blindly following a]] [[{{RoyallyScrewedUp}} practically batshit royals who graduated from the]] AlwaysChaoticEvil [[{{YellowPeril}} school of villain]]...maybe a beefed-up Empire of ''Korea'' ([[{{UsefulNotes/NorthKorea}} no, not THAT one]]) would be better - if only marginally so (to be quite frank, he's not using an [[{{AlternateUniverse}} alternate]] [[{{ThirtySecondsOverTokyo}} Japan]]) - given [[{{LandDownunder}} his homeland's]] all-but outright allying with the [[{{LandOfDragons}} People's Republic of China]] [[{{TooSoon}} almost echoing the proposed efforts of those aforementioned]] PresidentEvil [[{{TooSoon}} types]]...well, it would be [[{{PoliticalCorrectnessGoneMad}} very]] [[{{DiggingYourselfDeeper}} hot]] [[{{MistakenForRacist}} water]]...) ** Also, [[{{Tropers/Crion87}} this troper]] has sometimes mused of a MirrorUniverse to TheSimpsons universe for fan fiction, noting that they've never done a [[{{HalloweenEpisode}} Treehouse Of Horror]] sketch on such a subject. Mirror Lisa being a [[{{TheFundamentalist}} fundamentalist Christian and young-earth Creationist]], a Mirror Homer Simpson much like the regular one except with greasy hair and no beard, and Mirror Ned Flanders [[{{SecretCircleOfSecrets}} leading a nefarious evil cult]]...or something like that. Mirror Moe Syzslak is the regular ladies' man, and Mirror Marge Simpson, having left Mirror Homer in disgust after Maggie was born, is Mirror Marge ''Bouvier''. with Mirror Patty and Mirror Selma being sympathetic to Mirror Homer, even ''helping him get with Mirror Cookie Kwan''...these and more thoughts of such ideas come to mind, all and any tropers may feel free to continue the discussion... * This troper had a truly scary thought the other day. What if ''this'' universe is the evil MirrorUniverse? And if ''that'' were true, what would the "good" universe be like? Hmm.... ** Impossible. If this were the evil MirrorUniverse, we'd all have goatees, and I don't have a goatee. *** Maybe this is the [[{{SanitySlippage}} mentally-unstable]] MirrorUniverse? [[{{Tropers/Crion87}} This troper]] would agree with that... * This troper's art teacher grew a goatee that looked exactly like [[StarTrekTheOriginalSeries Mirror Spock's.]] She was simultaneously creeped out and geeked out over that fact. Back to your [[MirrorUniverse regular universe]]. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

MisaimedFandom * [[Tropers/ZombifiedAngel This Troper]] is currently writing a HarryPotter FanFic featuring [[AxCrazy Bellatrix]] [[PsychoForHire Lestrange]]. It was intended to be a [[DarkFic dark]], [[NightmareFuel highly disturbing]], somewhat squicky look at pureblooded society, descent into madness, the origins of sadism, MadLove, and the Fanon interpretation of Slytherin House as [[DracoInLeatherPants misunderstood]]. Supporting characters include a [[AxCrazy violent brute]] with Yandere tendencies and a [[CompletelyMissingThePoint complete inability to understand rejection]], a [[NietzscheWannabe depressed, cynical]] [[IllGirl ill boy]] who [[ManipulativeBastard manipulates everyone around him]] for fun, and an innocent Woobie who [[TheMessiah loves everything and everyone]] and [[ChewToy exists for the universe to torment]], and [[TearJerker eventually dies horrifically and pointlessly]] but never gives up her belief in humanity's ultimate goodness. Guess who the reviewers are rooting for. (What makes it even more ironic is that This Troper was trying to [[{{Deconstruction}} deconstruct]] the DracoInLeatherPants phenomenon. Nope...) ** Was it the Woobie? ** I bet $10 on Cynboy! *** 40k on bellatrix ** Can you please give us a link? I think I'd quite like to read that. * On an RP site, this troper ended up with a character of a {{Mon}}s species she didn't care for. Rather than get rid of her, however, she decided to turn her into a rampant, vicious ParodySue who took pot shots not only at CommonMarySueTraits, but overused plot devices on the forum itself. Very few people seemed to "get" this, however, and they genuinely liked her for what she ''claimed'' to be able to do and what she ''claimed'' to look like, instead of her actual self. I had to [[{{Anvilicious}} break out the anvils]] before it seemed like people "understood" her. ** Funnily enough, she may be going in the opposite direction. Thanks to CharacterDevelopment, she's now gone from being an insufferable, obnoxious Sue-wannabe to an obnoxious Sue-wannabe in the middle of an [[HeroicBSOD enormous mental and emotional breakdown]]. The reasons for this including, but not limited to: Others calling her out on her behaviors, others ''not'' calling her out on her behaviors and instead being perfect gentlemen/women and inciting her guilt, the {{mon}} she might be in love with being AWOL... Cue [[TheWoobie Woobiefication]], ''including from her creator.'' Even ''I'' feel bad for her. * [[{{Tropers/Poopskin}} This Troper]] has a L-Fangirl neighbor...Of course, the aforementioned neighbor is a open ([[{{Squick}} how do you think i found the following out?]]) [[YaoiFangirl Yaoi fangirl]] too. ** ...and? Where exactly is the misaimed fandom in this? * This troper has a friend who is a big musical theatre nerd. One day he came back from work to tell a "hilarious story" to me and another friend. The story turned out to be how much he hated a group of five black men who came to his workplace and proceeded to be loud. Cue him miming them in blackface fashion. At first we thought he was just finding [[RefugeInAudacity Refuge in Audacity]], but realized with

horror that he was being perfectly serious as he continued to, essentially, tell us how much he hated black people. When we didn't laugh and stated the obvious (that it was racist) he quoted {{Avenue Q}} to us. He even started [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbwNSNLPIfw singing the song to us]]. It was then that we realized that he took the song at face value and thought it promoted racism as a good thing. * I wrote this story...With a cynical, [[JerkSue jerkass]] character; There were some love themes, but the point was the cultural shock and the cynism of his life, but anyway: This romantic short story, was more succesfull than all my comedy and sci-fi works I have ever done, damn it!, there was even a girl who wanted to see a sequel, but...[[WordOfGod not gonna happen...]] * When she first got into the fandom, [[Tropers/TromboneChild This Troper]] wrote a humorous ''{{Supernatural}}'' oneshot in which Dean randomly compares his and Sam's life to ''StarWars'' because Dean seems to like ''StarWars'' in general. At the end, it says that a few hours after he imparts his revelation to Sam, Dean blurts out, "Dude, have you ever realized that our life mirrors ''PiratesOfTheCaribbean''?" Then Sam shouts, "DEAN!" to shut him up. It was meant to be left hanging for humor's sake, but guess what all the enthusiastic reviewers wanted the (nonexistent) next chapter to be about? ** You ''do'' mean [[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3382146/1/Star_Wars this]] story, right? *** Yes, it may not be great because I had just gotten into Season 2 and hadn't seen Season 1 yet. * This troper's favorite character from [[KamenRiderFaiz Kamen Rider Faiz]] is Masato Kusaka. Yes, that Kusaka-the obsessive {{jerkass}} with creepy mommy issues, who we were obviously intended to not like. Which would have been fine if he hadn't been the only halfway interesting character in an ENTIRE CAST OF SCRAPPIES. The only other character I liked was Yuka, but then the writers forgot she existed for like thirty episodes, then brought her back as a fawning love slave to Kaido. * [[Tropers/GwenStacyWannabe This troper]] appears to have done this to ''herself'', with her original story. Apparently my villains' stories are more interesting than my heroes'... ** [[{{Tropers/Skazka}} Ditto.]] It doesn't help that though I can ''think'' of genuinely good characters-- and extremely adorable couples-- but the ones that keep coming back as fascinating are the CompleteMonster types. * [[{{Tropers/Cliche}} This troper]] tends to sympathize with [[IneffectualSympatheticVillain Sylvester]] instead of Tweety in some LooneyTunes shorts. After all, Sylvester's obsession comes from Tweety being a GRatedDrug to him and he gets a heck of a lot of heck as a ButtMonkey, while some of the stuff Tweety does just seems, well, [[MoralDissonance evil]]. ** This is more of a result of the animators CompletelyMissingThePoint than you. If you watch the original Bob Clampett shorts it's clear that Tweety was a typical Clampett ScrewySquirrel JerkAss, but he was [[WhatMeasureIsANonCute cute]] so he got progressively more

[[CharacterDerailment "heroic" roles]]. By the time Friz Freleng took over, the formula was in place. Tweety's role in WhoFramedRogerRabbit was a return to form, but no one seemed to pay attention to that. As for ''The Sylvester and Tweety Mysteries'' ... I found them too boring to sit through to find out. * This troper has a lot of original characters that he draws and writes for, on various art sites. All of them get a good deal of time put into them and he's proud of it. Most of his characters are... not good people, but (in his opinion) not that bad, and at least a bit interesting. He also has a handful of absolutely [[AxCrazy batshit insane]], [[SerialKiller murderous]], [[CompleteMonster sadistic remorseless psychopaths]]. You get ''one'' guess which group of characters everyone loves. It's gotten to a point where two of his characters, created to be a collective {{Expy}} of [[BlackLagoon Black Lagoon's]] [[CreepyTwins Hansel and Gretel]] have gotten a downright ''amazing'' fan reaction, and he wouldn't be surprised if a fanclub shows up soon. At least he's spreading word of Black Lagoon... Of course, it probably doesn't help that the troper is feeding it [[SlaveToPR by giving more art of the psychopaths]]... * Does anyone read TropesAreNotBad? I actually had a discussion where someone used the claim that a trope was supposed to be bad as an argument against me. * This Troper was forced to read shoujo manga because of the lack of sex a man gets in shounen... * [[{{Tropers/Hotaru}} This Troper]] is in the middle of working on a series of novels known as 'Nightmare Fuel', and one of hir characters is Julia Makai, a Bolo Panthress, think [[TankGoodness Bolo Tank]] meets [[CatGirl]], and even though she's a complete sociopath, sexcrazed bisexual and follows her orders like a good little weapon of mass destruction....At least twice people have presumed that she's means as a symbol of Female Empowerment...even though she blew up NEW YORK CITY....* headdesks, repeatedly* * {{Tropers/Jonn}} is currently reading [[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3851787/1/The_Jokers_Wild a fanfic]] where TheJoker visits the WesternAnimation/TeenTitans. One of the first things Joker did was kill off the Hive Four for no real reason. The author admitted he hated Gizmo (which, arguably, is the point of his characterization). After a bomb threat, his next major move was killing Control Freak in a brutal and nonspecific fashion, involving a razor blade, for no real reason. The authour note for that chapter explains that the Teen Titans are good heroes with bad villains. Considering that their definition of "bad villain" seems to mean "not a sociopath", this troper feels like going "[[ToyStory IT! IS! A]] ''[[ThisIsSparta KIDS SHOW]]''!" * This troper is currently writing an [[Literature/AndThenThereWereNone And Then There Were None]] fanfiction that is not based on the book itself, but on the Russian movie adaptation of the book. More specifically, it is based on a rather, shall I say, [[RapeIsLove controversial]] scene that was not in the book yet somehow managed to work. In the fanfic, I show the 'incident' from both the victim and attacker's perspective, the purpose being to create a black-and-gray morality story. I have tried

to portray both in a sympathetic light (or in the attacker's case, semi-sympathetic as I personally feel their so-called 'excuse' is a rather pathetic one). However, I am beginning to think I made the attacker ''too'' sympathetic. I only have three reviews thus far, two of which seem to side up with the attacker. One right out called the victim 'crazy'; the other was a bit more sympathetic towards the victim, but still wanted them to go easy on the attacker. They themselves said they didn't know if it was because they thought the attacker was right or because [[DracoInLeatherPants it was their favourite character.]] So in a sense, the latter reviewer ''did'' get the message I was trying to get across; they just took a...different...approach to it. In just a few chapters, though, the attacker will [[MoralEventHorizon cross a major moral boundary even bigger than the one they already crossed in the first place]]. And ''that'' was planned ''long'' before the reviews came. Part of me wonders if the attacker will ''still'' be the reviewer's favourite character after such an event. Then again, that's the whole point... * I work with horses, as a result I found myself reading Revelation not for Christ's "theif in the night aka no one will know when he's coming" coming so many people are telling me to prepare for but for the badass motherfucking horses that are going to ride the Earth. End Times, get here sooner! Since I live in the South, no one understands my views. ** You do know they're not real horses, right? They're metaphors for worldwide suffering. *** Or possibly [[GoodOmens motorbikes]] * Once, this troper was frustrated with people not liking one of his favorite artists, Bruce Springsteen, so he asked one of his friends why she didn't like him. She replied that Bruce Springsteen represented 1950's Americana and the completely patriotic side of life, which she hated (she was kind of a hippie). I asked her what song represented that, as I had no clue. She replied "Born in the U.S.A.". Born in the U.S.A. is the most anti-American anthem you could get. It's about a Vietnam vet coming home and not being able to find a job, and getting P.T.S.D. Not exactly the most patriotic song to sing. ** Are you sure that this is Misaimed Fandom or more Completely Missing the Point? * [[{{Tropers/Enchanter468}} This troper]] ''cannot'' be the only one who has always felt sorry for the Trix Rabbit. I mean, come on, all the guy wants is a bowl of cereal; it's really not that much to ask. We know Trix are for kids, but can't you just bend the rules a little? After a while, the kids just started seeming like [[KidsAreCruel nasty]] little [[JerkAss Jerkasses]] for hording all the cereal. ** After a kid wrote in and said that he/she disliked the commercial for that reason, Zillions (a Consumer Reports for Kids magazine) wrote a brief comic strip in which the rabbit tells the kids they can have their cereal, and that he doesn't want something as unhealthy as it anyway. *** This troper also wrote a comic where the Trix Rabbit snaps and violently assaults the kids for the cereal. He takes a bite and then says in a sad, low voice: "It's soggy..." **** CrowningMomentOfFunny

** I think the problem might be that the worlds in which breakfast cereal commercials always takes place is one where boxes of cereal are either hidden treasures or some naturally occurring phenomenon. Characters like the Trix rabbit are always finding cereal in hidden caves or at the end of a rainbow or something, in which case the kids are essentially just stealing the treasure that he's found. The rabbit is like Indiana Jones, doing all the hard work to get the treasure, and the kids are like Belloq, swiping his prize at the last minute. If the Trix rabbit had just walked into a store and bought a box of Trix, the kids would have less authority to swipe his cereal from him. *** Either that, or he just needs to grow a backbone. Seriously, what grown adult is going to let a bunch of 8-year-olds take something from them? * This is the reason that this troper tends to not talk about ElfQuest with people anymore. For some reason, everyone I've ever met who likes the series has completely missed the point of the whole general outlook on life presented by the entire series. Which, by the way, is an outlook I happen to agree with. But no, the fans I know seem more preoccupied with trivial things inside that plot that actually don't even matter to most of the characters. Maybe when I get out of high school I'll meet some people who don't seem bent upon inserting middle-school type drama into a perfectly good series. Maybe the people I've met who have read it are too young to get it, but I read the whole series when I was 9 years old and I got it just fine. No, it's not for kids. No, I don't particularly care. * This troper's brother, while responding to a few links from this site that he sent, noted that they were interesting and true, and suggested that they were particularly true for mediocre movies, which seemed to imply that he didn't quite get that TropesAreNotBad. * This troper probably isn't watching ''HigurashiNoNakuKoroNi'' the right way. He got into it because he has a [[NightmareFetishist thing]] for AxCrazy and {{Yandere}} girls, and instead of being creeped out by the first story arc, he was ''really'' enjoying it, {{if you know what I mean}}. [[spoiler:[[MoodWhiplash Right until Keiichi killed Rena and Mion.]] To him, it was a bitch-slap to his face.]] ** Actually, I do believe you're doing it right. The [[MyGodWhatHaveIDone look on Keiichi's face]] when he realizes what's happened is a Grade-A TearJerker even ''before'' we learn what had really happened. * [[{{Tropers/Eisenblume}} This Troper]] does this a LOT. He has a tendency to begin to - honestly - root for the bad guys and generally feel SympathyForTheDevil. He is a staunch supporter of, among others: [[ASongOfIceAndFire the Lannisters]], [[StarWars the Separatists]], [[CodeGeass Brittania]], [[KungFuPanda Tai Lung]] and [[WorldOfWarcraft the Blood Elves]]. He tries to not do this in RealLife but can not help cheering for ImperialGermany and feels at least SOME sympathy for the Germans and Japanese of WorldWarII. They are not evil, just misguided [[UnwittingPawn Unwitting Pawns]]. In Attack of the Clones, when Count Dooku tries to get Obi-Wan and Anakin to join him, everything he says is absolutely true - the Senate ''really is'' under the control of a Sith Lord! (He just forgot to

mention that he, too, was also a Sith Lord.) * This Troper has difficulties writing solid, idealistic good characters. They tend to spin wildly out of control and turn into icky MarySue and MartyStu archetypes. His villains? They are fun to write and make this troper giggle evilly as he writes every cruel and disgusting act. It's frustrating because this troper loves wellwritten heroes and, while The Joker is an amazing character, he'd be sickened by a real-life Joker just like anyone else. This troper has sworn off villains and tried to work on writing heroic characters, but they seem awfully prone to [[HeroicBSOD HeroicBSODs]] and have major flaws due to their attempts at holding on to their sense of justice. They often come off as less-brutal Rorschach or Batman archetypes, despite this troper's attempts at writing a ''paladin''. ** The above troper would like to note that he had fun writing a story where one of the always-good and usually kind druids of {{World of Warcraft}} was corrupted by The Lich King, turned into a Death Knight, and then became a gleeful mass-murderer and cannibal. Eventually his MoreThanMindControl is broken and he regains his old way of viewing things, with a side of angsty and cynicism. A HeroicBSOD soon followed. Poor, poor druid cow... ** This same troper speculates he has disturbing memories that he has suppressed and is now expressing them through writing. He's only halfserious. * [[Tropers/SomeDeadGuy This troper]] has several friends who liked, admired and even ''agreed'' with Light Yagami of Death Note. One was even a full-blown Light fangirl and Kira ''worshipper''. She shot an unbelievably dirty look at me when I called Light a "[[JerkAss sociopathic asshole who kills people not for the good of others, but for his own gain.]]" * This Troper can't help but feel shonen manga tend to have tons of misaimed fans. I mean, whoa, THE FOCUS IS ON ADVENTURE AND FRIENDSHIP RATHER THAN ROMANCE! OPTIMISM, LOVE, AND PEACE TEND TO BE IDEALS! WOW! SO COMPLEX AND UNEXPECTED! ** This Troper knows exactly how you feel, dude. Haven't you noticed that most of the fanfic for shonen manga tend to ignore the ideals the series sets up in favor of wangst? And that the characters tend to be more messed up and less likely to try to improve themselves and their situations? And apparently NO ONE can get over tragic things happening and have happy, kickass lives? (and ESPECIALLY without healing makeoutz or sexxors?) And totally omit the kickass battle cries like "I MUST GET STRONGER AND NOT RUN AWAY FROM ANYTHING" which are actually really important to the characterizations? Apparently, developing inner strength and not being a coward, which are critical to any shonen period, mean NOTHING to fan fic writers. * This troper thinks Meyer Wolfsheim is one of the most likable characters in ''TheGreatGatsby'', even though authoral intent was likely to make him a nasty ethnic stereotype. In a book filled with indecisive and hypocritical characters, there's something charming about someone who is really open about being up-to-no-good and speaks in ShlubbAndKlumpEnglish. Also, how can you not respect a guy who wears one of his enemies teeth as cufflinks. * [[Tropers/SomeDeadGuy This troper]] most likely wasn't reading or

watching FullmetalAlchemist (and Brotherhood) the way HiromuArakawa intended: he ''enjoyed'' Envy's death and found it to be a satisfying role reversal. Up until that point, Envy was a ChaoticEvil JerkAss and a CompleteMonster with no redeeming qualities who kills just because he enjoys it... and in his final chapter, Arakawa just randomly decided to make him slightly sympathetic in the most mindbogglingly inane way possible. I understand the other characters not wanting Roy to kill him because he was just doing it for revenge and because he was basically going insane, but the "AWWW HE'S JEALOUS OF HUMANS" made me sick, and somehow made me hate Envy even ''more''. * This Troper has shown the uncut (legit) DVD's of TheBoondocks to coworkers who fall into most of the sterotypes that the show takes the piss out of: wannabe gangstas, thugs who can't be bothered to read, white women who fetishize black men, wiggas, women who complain about men and then get into relationships with men who are clearly scum. '''ALL of them LOVE''' the show, and constantly ask if they can borrow my DVD's again and again. And I bet [=MacGruder=] would be surprised at who can't get enough of the show on Adult Swim. What the hell, I guess if you can't laugh at yourself... * This troper had a webcomic running that featured humanoid monsters that view humans as food. Kind of a boogeyman, dig? Well, when it came time to have the main character nearly killed and eaten by the monster in what I thought was a terrifying fashion...all I got were comments on "MONSTY IS SO HAWT" and "MONSTY RAPE HIM NAO PLZ?" Which was like getting excited for a human to rape a turkey, or a cat to a mouse, in my mind. Horror story + [=YaoiRape!=]fans = [[ArtistDisillusionment Unhappy creator]]. * I've managed to get DracoInLeatherPants for a character I not only explicitly described as unattractive, but also gave all the evil traits I could think of. His MOST morally positive trait was being a ManipulativeBastard. And yet he still got a female fanbase wanting to have sex with him. Even the fact that he FUCKING RAPED THE FEMALE PROTAGONIST OF THE STORY didn't deter them. ** Um, wow... Is there some kind of link you could give us? This one sounds especially difficult to fathom... ** I think I can explain this one: as you said, he's a ManipulativeBastard. That shows that he's clever and has power over people, and physical ugliness or not, that's sexy. Plus, it's a print story, so the readers could easily have ignored your description (or maybe they somehow didn't catch it) and imagine him as a hottie anyways. ** I can relate, except for the unattractive part. I am currently writing a story where one of the main villians is a demon (the hero's a demon too just to make it clear) who can shapeshift and is basically a horrible person. He hits on anything with a pulse (he's not bisexual, as his...interests extend beyond humans), tries to seduce the poor hero, kills dozens of people in rather gruesome ways (don't ask, I don't have any brain bleach for you to use afterwards), and is just a complete jackass who gets off by raping and killing people. He even tries to rape the female lead who is implied to be related to him in some way(and he knows!). So after I tell this to one of my female friends I describe him and what is her response? "He sounds very

attractive." Cue epic world shattering facepalm! * This troper is somehow part of a misaimed fandom for HIS OWN STORIES. I keep making them so goddamn dark! WHY IS A KIRBY FANFICTION ABOUT HIM FINDING A PLANET OF FRIENDLY KIRBYS SO GODDAMN DARK! * sobs* * This troper was explaining a story concept to some friends, and was quite annoyed to find that they found it hilarious. The story concept they found hilarious? The concept of a being that is so horribly disturbing with a completely impossible biology, that when it wakes up IT DESTROYS REALITY ITSELF. BY WAKING UP. AND THEY THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY. ** Maybe it reminded them of [[SpongebobSquarepants the ugly barnacle]]? * [[Tropers/MacPhisto This Troper]] is a Heathen -- a Norse pagan (though I do pray to a few Celtic gods). Unfortunately, much Aesir symbology has been adopted by the skinheads, which makes it kinda tiresome to have to explain over and over again that while I may ''look'' like the Aryan poster boy (tall, pale, blonde, blue eyes), I '''do not''' share any of the beliefs of Adolf Hitler, David Duke, or Fred Phelps. * This troper was rooting for [[ColonelKilgore Quaritch]] throughout Film/{{Avatar}}, mainly because of the Na'vi being annoying. * This troper remembers reading a reveiw of ''VideoGame/PaperMarioTheThousandYearDoor'' which (apart from apparently being played by someone who hadn't bothered to try any of the sidequests and complained at the lack of upgrades for the backpack/inventry or the ability to increase your partner's rank more than once that were present as rewards for them) complained none of the characters had any emotional depth apart from the ones with utterly miserable backstories (TheWoobie and a [[DeadLittleSister Widower]]). By comparisson the other characters (who all had full backstories) apprently weren't good enough or had enough of a personality on their own. * One of my characters has a pretty well deserved spot on the TroperTales for CompleteMonster. And in every single RP I've entered him in, there's usually about six or seven Sues who think that they can change him, 'make him see the light' etc. I blame Twilight for making vampires into tortured souls who do nothing but angst about all the people they've killed, etc. STOP TRYING TO SEDUCE HIM. HE'S GOING TO KILL YOU. [[{{Gorn}} HE LIKES THE WAY YOUR BLOOD FLOWS OVER HIS HANDS AND THE SENSATION OF SWALLOWING YOUR STILL BEATING HEART WHOLE]]. He ended up lampshading this at one point; Twilight made it so much easier for him to find lonely impressionable girls to omnomnom on. I guess it's because he's [[{{Bishounen}} pretty]]... But most of his looks are artificial - dyed hair, contacts etc. These traits are stated in his bio, so it's not like you wouldn't know about it. How can I drive them off? [[{{UnfortunateImplications}} Not be rude but his looks are pretty vital to his hunting technique]]... Tch. Maybe I should just let him enjoy his free meals, and deal with the whining about how 'it's not right for a vampire to want to kill a girl, especially one as pretty as my character!' - I swear to all that is holy, I was actually told this by some brat. * This editor doesn't know who did it, but at my school, my advisory

class had an assignment where the students had to make and illustrate a slogan representing patriotism. One of these had the uplifting slogan of "Patriotism is a flying flag. Never let it fall"...accompanied by a picture of an Enclave soldier from ''{{Fallout}} 3'' standing in front of the Washington Monument. Yes, ''[[{{A Nazi By Any Other Name}} The Enclave]]''. Representing ''patriotism''. Brr. ** They seem like the perfect example to me. But, then again, I'm not especially fond of patriotism... *** Yeah, but would you ''agree'' with them? (Don't answer that.) * On IMDB, one of the reader reviews of ''FunnyGames'' mentions writer/director Michael Haneke's quote that the people who would really understand the movie are the sort of people who'd never watch it to begin with (the film is a TakeThat / StealthParody toward "torture porn" movies like ''Saw'' and ''Hostel''). Since the reviewer himself is a fan of those movies, and he liked ''FunnyGames'' for the same reason he likes the rest of the genre, he completely misses the point and "corrects" Haneke's quote about the movie to say "the people who most need to see this movie are the sort who'd never watch it to begin with" ...in other words, the exact opposite of what the creator said about ''his own movie!'' Wow, just wow... * This troper's cousin told her that her favorite book was ''AClockworkOrange, but when she stopped reading it halfway through and this troper asked why, she was told by her cousin that she "only likes the parts where he's bad". Fail. * This troper seriously wishes he had one of the floating beds from WALLE. * I once wrote an InuYasha / ShugoChara crossover because I thought all the previous ones sucked and that I could do better. I mentioned early on ''very clearly'' that the story was going to be short, there wasn't going to be ''that'' much interaction between the characters (so forming new relationships, normal friendship or romance, would be unlikely), that the focus was supposed to be on Kagome coming in terms with herself, and that I goddamn ''hated'' it whenever Kagome got turned into a GodModeSue / PossessionSue, especially in regard to crossovers. So what's 90% of my reviews? '''OMGKAGOMEBETTERHOOKUPWITHIKUTOITSMEANTTOBE!''' I genuinely want to strangle some of my reviewers, and that's probably why the fic's on hiatus/discontinued. * This troper wrote an over-the-top dystopia where people died for any crime whatsoever, and to be unhappy was considered a crime. It was supposed to be so over the top that nobody could ever take it seriously, but most people saw it as ''MAJOR'' HighOctaneNightmareFuel. I decided to run with it anyway, and it works better as a genuinely terrifying place. * Writing a Naruto fic where I'm trying to write my OC as a rather unlikable, paranoid, and selfish person. Naturally, my readers are telling me how they want to hug her and "be there for her". Sigh. Ah well. Must try harder to portray this unlikability. * This Troper put a cartoon on DeviantArt that poked fun at hentai. Guess what kind of people favorited it? * Okay, I'm the same one who brought up the Enclave patriotism one

above, but I may be guilty of this too. Is it {{Completely Missing The Point}} to consider violent-path {{Iji}}'s {{Crowning Moment Of Awesome}} to be yelling "SHUT UP!" to Tor's beaten body when questioned about all the deaths she caused? Or, in general, treating the game as a {{Crazy Awesome}} {{Beyond The Impossible}} run-and-gun that goes over the top with {{More Dakka}}, {{BFG}}s, and {{Stuff Blowing Up}}? ** [[{{Understatement}} By all that is holy yes.]] *** So...then would the fact that I took a killer run and ''joked about it'' as an ongoing forum adventure on the {{MS Paint Adventures}} forums be my {{Moral Event Horizon}}? And I didn't actually realise that [[{{Shadow Of The Colossus}} Wander]] was supposed to be a {{Villain Protagonist}} until this wiki...my god, I'm a {{Complete Monster}}. And as long as I'm coming clean, while it's more of {{Rooting For The Empire}} since I ''know'' he's supposed to a irredemable bastard, on my latest playthrough of ''{{Cave Story}}'', ''part of me was rooting for the Doctor''. And I wish I lived on [[{{Homestuck}} Alternia]] from time to time, despite the fact it's intended to be a dystopia. I even think that Feferi's reforms would make it lose all its charm. There's something seriously wrong with me. * I don't think I'm the only person who sympathize with [[{{Ax Crazy}} Travis Bickle]] from the {{Taxi Driver}}....well, except for that part where he tried to kill a political figure..that is * While she'd never want to meet him in real life, this troper admits to feeling a great deal of sympathy for Rorschach. She thinks that a great deal of his choices are wrong and even evil, but she cannot help but feel admiration for him in the end ''("never compromise")'' and loads of pity for a clearly unbalanced person who will never have a truly close relationship with anyone, ever. * Is it wrong that one of this troper's favourite character's in [[MassEffect Mass Effect]] is Saren? Before you ask, yes I have read the prequel novel. Sure I get it, he's a [[KnightTemplar Knight Templar]] who is damn close to being a [[CompleteMonster Complete Monster]], but his voice acting is some of the best in the first game and he looks twice as badass as Shepard ever will. ** This troper didn't enjoy the story of the second game simply because the Collectors didn't have anyone trying to communicate directly with you the way Saren did. Although, I only like him as a character. As a person he's one of the lowest on the list, but as a character he's right up there. ** Yeah, you get a better feel for him as a character than any of the other enemies you face. He's given more of a personality and has a great voice actor which allows you to connect with him better than most others in the game. * [[{{Tropers/Bergil}} This Troper]] went to school with someone who was incredibly racist and always sang "Choclate rain" [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking really badly]]. Though I'm [[AlternativeCharacterInterpretation Not sure]] if he was a {{troll}} or not. * [[{{Tropers/Freiberg}} This Troper]]'s favorite short story is ''In a Good Cause-'' by Isaac Asimov, because he loved the main character's method of thinking and acting. Only later did he find out that Asimov

had set out to write a story with a protagonist he disagreed with, and that this was the story. * This troper had a story about someone working in Retail Hell at a place called "Super World". It was basically a "This is what ''not'' to do as a customer because these guys really ''really'' hate it and don't deserve to have to do this!"-type story. Yeah, they were laughing when I wanted 'em to, except that half of the fanbase was laughing at it because they wanted to try doing that in real life. Cue dozens of idiots walking up to people in a Target, Wal-Mart, Costco, Sams Club, (of which "Super World" was an expy of) and asking if they worked there, if they were open yet, leaving messes on the ground, trying to climb inside donut display cases...I was like, "That's what you ''SHOULDN'T'' do in the stores!" * This troper has been, and shall always be a big fan of [[SouthPark Matt Stone and Trey Parker]]. However, my appreciation of the duo came to a very misinformed head when in 8th grade, I started writing the name of their band on my knuckles every day. The band's name? [[IntercourseWithYou DVDA.]] Yeah, I didn't get it until someone pointed it out to me. * This troper recently went to a free concert at her local park. It was a jazz band from [[TheBigEasy N'awlins]]- nice, but nothing special. At one point, they played a very slow, sad song about Hurricane Katrina. Some of the lyrics were downright disturbing, going into detail about water rising into peoples' attics (the implication being of course, people ''in'' the attic about to drown). An alarming number of the people gathered in the audience got up and ''slow danced'' to the song. Doubles as CompletelyMissingThePoint. * This troper's supermarket plays Tracy Chapman's Fast Car, which, in addition to what it says on the Main Page, features the main character working a dead-end job as a checkout girl. Then again, the store's also played other songs satirizing suburbia/consumerism/dead-endminimum-wage jobs, so it's equally possible that whoever's chosing the music is just a ''{{Deadpan Snarker}}''/''{{Bored on Board}}''. * This troper, instead of seeing him as a [[CompleteMonster complete monster]], found [[{{Pinocchio}} the Coachman]] to be the best character in the whole film, even finding his torturing of small boys and turning them into donkey slaves, completely justified by [[KidsAreCruel them being generally horrible and despicable children]]. Not to mention that [[EvilIsSexy this troper has a crush on the Coachman.]] * This troper has a friend who's a rabbi, and he tells me that some sections of the bible may have been meant as satire, for example the famous quote "the lion will lay down with the lamb, and the child will stick his hand in a viper nest and know no fear" may have been meant sarcastically, saying something along the lines of "pigs will fly and hell will freeze over." * This troper's ex-wife insisted that [[HiveMind The Borg]] from ''StarTrek'' were misunderstood heroes who were in the process of creating a socialist paradise and were the victim of [[RedScare Federation propaganda]]. ** This troper's little sister, without any sense of irony, put a sign

on her door declaring it a "Totally Clueless Zone." She had not one clue that it was demeaning to her. * This Troper is convinced that the above is a large reason why [[TheBestPageInTheUniverse Maddox]] has stopped updating. I was at a book signing for The Alphabet of Manliness where said author was trying to make a joke about accidentally walking in on a book-signing for some piece of feminist literature, and being glad he wasn't recognized, when a member of the audience, who looked very much like a stereotypical fratboy, shouted "Fucking dykes!", then laughed and ribbed his girlfriend, who was understandably not laughing. There was at least a [[BSOD three second pause]] with Maddox just sitting there with a quiet look of horror. * This troper's grade six class had to put on short skits about problems that can arise in a friendship (it was one of those life lessons classes called TAP-forgot what it stands for). Me and the girl I was partnered with created a skit about a friend who was too loyalor, more to the point, clingy. She (the character) wanted to spend every minute of the day that was possible with my character and got upset when my character felt like staying inside to watch TV rather than going out to play and wanted to do her homework later. Granted, this may not have been the best age group to teach that lesson to... * [DokEnkephalin I] had written a propagandist history for a fantasy MUD, in order to make my culture look more attractive allies to a CompleteMonster organization. Everyone seemed to read it as providing us a FreudianExcuse and re-interpret us as ChaoticGood. My character, a TechnicalPacifist ambassador, was held up as an example even among those who knew I was performing covert abduction/torture/murders. But the prize for misaimed fandom goes to a woman I got into a RL relationship with, later confessed she hoped I would ''really kill'' her....FlatWhat? * This troper ''really'' wishes people wouldn't just go by CommonMarySueTraits and decide that a sue is them alone. This means that deconstructions of those (ie, it doesn't turn out to be good) wind up like Xion and develop a misaimd hatedom. * [[Tropers/2writeis2life This troper]] made several videos about ''DeathNote'' characters. One of these videos uses "You're Gonna Go Far Kid," by TheOffspring, to discuss the character of Light, and most of the people who post comments on the page agree with Light's plans instead of seeing him as a bad guy (she also made a video set to another Offspring song, "Hammerhead", that she likes better but that goes virtually ignored). * Regarding the essay "Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior". Believe it or not, the titular Chinese mother sends both her daughters to This Troper's high school, and the older one runs track with this troper. According to her, the essay has been grossly misinterpreted. It's actually not a parenting manual at all; rather, it's just a tongue-incheek story about a woman who tries to use traditional Chinese parenting methods and fails miserably. Whoops... * In media that revolves around a conflict between humans and aliens/dinosaurs/monsters/whatever, [[MyCountryRightOrWrong I tend to root for the humans.]] In works where HumansAreBastards, such as Avatar, Starship Troopers, Battle for Terra, etc, this leads to

Misaimed Fandom on my part. An exception to this is in media where humans and aliens have allied against other humans and/or aliens,such as StarWars, in which case I will generally pull for whoever is the good guy. * This troper swam for his high school's swim team, and at every meet he could probably get a million dollars if he got a nickel for every CheGuevara '''SPEEDO''' that was worn by the rival teams. * This troper has an online friend who unconsciously creates Gary Stus for the Dragon Age fandom, and s/he always has them commit despicable acts that any sane person would oppose. The friend's reaction when confronted with this is to have their pet character try to do something even more terrible; this troper's friend is also obsessed with the Old Gods and darkspawn in the game, claiming that the Old Gods are innocent Woobies who did no wrong even after they became Archdemons. The friend also despises the Chantry all in the name of claiming racism against mages and completely breaking canon in his/her fanfics all so that the conflict can automatically be won by their Sues and Stus. This troper is not amused by this, since she prefers fan on to stay fan on and to write about small alterations to canon events or the events themselves rather than full-blown AU revolving around a Gary Stu and his friends. Said friend also has a tendency to side with the Sith in Star Wars, despite the fact that they are intended to be the bad guys, and this troper cannot say she has ever thought evil characters were "antiheroes" and worthy of praise--come to think of it, she hates antiheroes, and that's the kind of character her friend makes. * This troper has a friend at school who is obsessed with Harry Potter, she aligns herself with Slytherin, but in reality she's more of a Rave claw. And she is also obsessed with the Death Eaters to the point its disturbing, she draws the dark mark on her arm, and went as a Death Eater for Halloween twice. This troper finds it disturbing because the Death Eaters are kind of like the Nazi, both want the world to be inhabited by a pure breed, so she finds her friend's wish to be a Death Eater like wish to be a part of a Neo-Nazi movement. ---What? You want to [[MisaimedFandom go BACK to Misaimed Fandom]]? What you don't understand, see, was that MisaimedFandom was meant as a DECONSTRUCTION... ----

MisattributedSong * This Troper really likes that Foreigner song "Don't Stop Believing"! ** Same Troper likes that Iron Maiden song [[RefrainFromAssuming "Take Me Home"]]! ** I'm really surprised with that first misattribution because (1) Journey is far more popular than Foreigner, and (2) the song doesn't really sound like Foreigner's style (Separate Ways does though). * This troper was once in a barbershop. The song "Calabria" came on the radio, and I asked who the song was by. The barber said "Cascada Remix." The song is actually by Enur. * I see Otherworld from Final Fantasy X attributed to Megadeth on

Youtube now and again, which makes more sense than Rammstein in my mind, seeing as Rammstein writes in German. * My friend once told me about a song called "Holy War", which he said was a {{Dragonforce}} song. Only later did I look it up online and find that it was actually by Dragonland. * This troper will punch anyone in the face who thinks IronMaiden's song ''Flash of the Blade'' is AvengedSevenfold's sing originally. ---[[MisattributedSong Back to the main page, or you'll misattribute it.]]

MisBlamed * This troper once broke a ''FinalFantasy'' purist's brain - said idiot was saying that Kuja and Vaan were typical of Nomura's artstyle, and that the series should have stopped when Nomura started to ''direct it''. He said, and I quote, "So it shouldn't have stopped then? Even when Nomura was busy doing other things?" He also didn't mention a thing about how Nomura's only time directing the series is Versus XIII, or that he was a monster designer in V. ** This troper was also accidentally lead to believe that the Dubbing crew removed the manji from Neji's forehead. Granted though, he didn't see the japanese version and had only read the manga. * [[FroggoFan64 This]] ''PhineasAndFerb'' fan has twice been misblamed for starting the idea of shipping Ferb with [[{{Meganekko}} Gretchen]] (though, frankly, I think it's a smarter idea than supporting him with his PrecociousCrush, on the grounds that Ferb/Vanessa is basically [[MayDecemberRomance pedophilia]]). It was actually first mentioned in a fic by Bobtherandomguy (who now regrets introducing the idea) and [[TropeCodifier popularized by]] Waddle-Dance's fanfic ''Bottled Feelings''. * This troper once encountered a YouTube comment ([[ThisIsGonnaSuck oh god]]) that blamed 4Kids for not letting [[YuGiOhGX Jaden]] advance past Slifer Red. This troper corrected him, because that really wasn't 4Kids' fault, only for the comment to get thumbed down. Apparently, even defending 4Kids for something they had nothing to do with is an act of pure evil. ** This troper had something similar, where, in a video for the music in ''KingdomHeartsReCoded'', someone said "Figures Nintendo would reuse the music." Immediately I said, "When did DisneyInteractive and SquareEnix give the rights to ''KingdomHearts'' to Nintendo? Last I checked, Nintendo didn't even ''publish'' it." They responded with "When Nintendo sold the rights to Geno over" - Last I checked, Geno was owned by Squaresoft - now SquareEnix. Another comment was even saying that Nintendo had little input over ''KingdomHeartsReCoded''. * This troper overheard in a chatroom where someone said that Baibanira (You know, the ice cream pokemon) was proof that Ken Sugimori was running out of ideas. My response? "Really? Out of ''all'' the hundreds of pokemon, many of which have a worse design *cough*Jynx*cough*, you pick the ''one'' pokemon family that ''wasn't'' designed by Ken Sugimori? Really?" * Unusual example: as an aficionado of lush prose, the sort one finds

in fiction such as ''The Wood Beyond the World'' and the works of H.P. Lovecraft, I used to blame the influence of Ernest Hemingway for the decline of poetic descriptions in literature from the mid-twentieth century onward. Recently, however, I realized that this shift was instead attributable to the rise of film, with the result that more authors decided to reduce descriptive passages in order to showcase action, wanted to create characters who spouted clever one-liners, and expected their books to be adapted into movies. Before the midtwentieth century, authors drew their inspiration from other works of literature. * This troper is getting annoyed at how his hockey team's goaltender, (JaroslavHalak) is getting heat as the Blues goaltender for "poor play." When in fact, it's the poor team chemistry between [[TheScrappy Eric Brewer]] and [[TheLancer Erik Johnson]] that is the real culprit. They skate in their own zone too long and it's somehow Halak's fault. What makes this really absurd is that they haven't addressed this issue in a few years! Injuries have also played a factor, but don't blame Halak when you play your own puck in your own zone like a chicken that had its head cut off. Don't ask me why poor puck defence is somehow Halak's fault, but thanks to the Blues' FanDumb, it is. * This troper was in a production of ''TheGondoliers,'' and one person's review of the piece disparaged the artistic director's apparent trend of making "cutesy" jokes - but most of the jokes, such as a re-write of Giuseppe's song in act 2, were done by the actors playing Marco and Giuseppe, not by the artistic director. * This troper likes reading Amazon 1-star reviews from time to time. One of them for the film version of ''SweeneyTodd'' expressed dissatisfaction with the ending, saying that Tim Burton must've wrote himself into a corner. Except Tim Burton didn't write it. * This troper loved seeing an idiotic person (who said he was British) claim that America got ''BigBrother'' and ''{{Survivor}}'' from the UK. Actually, we got it from Sweden, Norway, and Denmark's "Expedition Robinson" - We didn't rip off Survivor from the UK because the first American Survivor series was in 2000 - Survivor Palau Tiga was produced in 2001. And as big ''BigBrother'', that came from Holland. * Recently, this troper heard someone complain that atlus "Took the wimpy way out" and made Hitler "The Fuhrer" in ''{{Persona 2}}'' for America and Europe, and used "Iron Crosses" instead of Swastikas. But wait a minute...this is ''June 2011''. The games are not out here yet. And funny enough, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_OFx-p2W4c He's "The Fuhrer"]] in the Japanese version too. Instead, I think the wimpy way out isn't coming up with a different model for him, or [[MissedMomentOfAwesome putting an eyepatch on him for a subtle ShoutOut]]. ---You fool! Go back to MisBlamed - wait a sec, you mean that ''wasn't'' your doing? ---<<|TroperTales|>>

MiscarriageOfJustice * Subways in Washington DC are crowded places, and people are jerks. So it came as no surprise to me one day when, as I went to exit the train, a woman shoved into me and forced me off-balance -- then slammed into me again, sending me stumbling, such that as I flailed to regain my balance I bumped into her in return. What proved slightly more of a surprise was the woman ''attacking'' me. Then convincing witnesses that she'd been attacked (after fifteen minutes of yelling and screaming, while the witnesses overtly stood around and decided what they'd seen, with the blessing of the subway workers). Perhaps even more surprising was the police refusing to take a statement from me about the woman attacking me, questioning the witnesses within easy hearing of each other, then arresting me for assault. ** Fast-forward a couple of months. The witnesses show up -- of course, thanks to DC laws, the defense ''does not get access to the witnesses' testimony or stataments'' until ''after'' they have been made. This, of course, makes a defense impossible, but evidently this is the desired result in DC. A brief summation: None of the witnesses' accounts of the events meshed at all. Two of them had glaring errors Bugs Meany wouldn't have gotten away with. The only point they agreed on was the nature of the attack, which all of them described in a way which was impossible. Each of them testifies that they were only interested in seeing justice done, then [[DoubleStandard admit they refused to tell the police officers that the woman had attacked me]]. (The police officer, meanwhile, admits cheerfully that he and his partner ignored my request to file charges against her.) ** Of course, given what trope this is attached to, you can see where this is going. The judge ignores the inconsistencies, the obvious lies, the clearly-botched police procedure, and even the overt bias against me by one of the witnesses. Despite '''the testimony of five witnesses, literally every eyewitness except the woman herself''', she refused to believe the woman attacked me. Nevertheless the witnesses were praised as the greatest heroes of the 21st century, and I was demonized as a merciless psychopath that really ought to have been tried for attempted murder (IANMTU). In sentencing, the judge '''refuses to hear from character witnesses''' (a move my lawyer described as about as close to illegal as it's possible to get without actually '''being''' illegal), and, after taking a recess to allegedly read the character reference letters (that she'd had available to her since the previous day), instead revealed that she'd used the recess to go over the negative information other witnesses had given about me so she would be '''angrier''' when dispensing my sentence. (Again, IANMTU). ** The prosecution asked for a year of probation and 40 hours community service. The judge's sentence was 150 hours of community service, $750 in fines, a year of probation, counselling, and 2 days of jail time. To restate: The judge ''more than tripled'' the askedfor sentence ''for a first-time offender with steady employment and housing, numerous character references, and a history of donating blood and hair''. And she made it clear that she wasn't giving me

more only so I ''wouldn't succeed in appealing the sentence''. ** Oh yeah, and I was ordered to write an apology letter to the woman who assaulted me. The only upside to all this was that a prison administrator saw how stupid my sentence was and freed me 12 hours into incarceration (just before they took my blood, in fact). Still laboring under the rest of it, though. ** As a side note, this judge spent the morning of the trial issuing arrest warrants for people who were stuck in the backup at the courthouse entrance because of building construction that had closed said entrance except for one line through the metal detectors. *** As another side note, the judge dismissed an entire trial [[OffOnATechnicality for incredibly specious reasons]]. I have certain theories about why my trial fared much worse than, literally, every other defendant I observed. **** Did this show up on Law and Order: SVU this season? I'm pretty sure I saw something on a judge who was ''exactly'' like this. Did you at least appeal? Why wouldn't you succeed in appealing? This is pretty obviously... well, what the page is called. ***** Ha, that would be awesome if it had, but it's far too minor. As for appealing: there was never any overt technical error that would have turned things around had it gone my way. An appeal would be conducted from the transcript of the case and look only for such an error, it wouldn't be a re-examining of the facts. For that reason it wouldn't have been successful, since the appellate court can't overturn a matter based on the judge completely ignoring or blatantly misinterpreting statements. ******You're being descriminated against on basis of your gender, have been denied the right to a fair trial and you're not writing in to have that judge and every police officer involved fired? You have a counter-case for slander at the very least. ---Go back to MiscarriageOfJustice, once you get done with that 15-to-30 in the slammer... ---<<|TroperTales|>>

MiscellaneousAwesomeMoments These are {{Troper}}s moments of awesomeness that dont fit into any of the [[TroperTales/AwesomeMoments other categories]]. Add your examples at the end of the page. One example per person, please. As with all Crowning Moment pages, YourMileageMayVary. ---* [[Tropers/TheGreatPie This troper]] once had a [=CMoA=] on the internet. I walked up to Cleverbot and said "[[PreAssKickingOneLiner Showtime.]]" Cleverbot just responded like he usually does. What do I do? I pull an epic MindScrew on him. He kinda just sits there, confused.

** [[Tropers/LoneHoundoom This troper]] achieved the same result by saying "Oh?" to Cleverbot. But more importantly, I managed to get Cleverbot to admit that it's a program rather than a person, even though it's famous for getting ticked off when you imply that. It was a great day, all told. ** :Doubling as a CMOF, this troper had this conversation with Cleverbot: --->Troper: This is madness --->Cleverbot: Madness? --->Troper: This. Is. Sparta! :::A simple joke, made me giggle. Not as much as Cleverbot's reply: --->Cleverbot: * kick *: *** This troper had a similar conversation: ---->Me: * sigh * ---->Cleverbot: ... ---->Me: What is love? ---->Cleverbot: Baby don't hurt me. ---->Me: Don't hurt me. ---->Cleverbot: No more. *** This Troper,after reading the Sparta Troper above,went on to do this: ---->Troper: This is madness! ---->Bot: Madness? ---->Troper: This! ---->Bot: Is! ---->Troper: WHOVILLE ---->Bot: (5 minutes of blank thinking later) Obama,duh. ** :I did something similar- I roped cleverbot into saying he always lied, and then told him that the time he said he wasn't a bot was a lie. His response was hilarious: --->Cleverbot: No. --->Me: You're lying. --->(Cleverbot breaks, internet does not respond) :::The next day? ''[[BeyondTheImpossible I did it again.]]'': --->Bot: I don't have anything to lie about. --->Me: You're a bot. --->Bot: Yes, [[WhatAnIdiot but that's beside the point]]. --->Me (IRL): 0_0 * I had my own [=CMoA=] with the CleverBot after my first conversation with it...starting out by asking it the meaning of life. Here is the transcript: -->Me: What is the meaning of life? -->Cleverbot: What is the meaning of life? -->Me: So if all you can do is repeat my question, then you don't really know the meaning of life, do you? In other words, do you know anything apart from your purpose? -->Cleverbot: In life or here? -->Me: If responding to meaningless questions IS your life, then yeah-I'd have to say "both". -->Cleverbot: I do not understand your logic, Human. -->Me: I am glad to hear that. Good night, Cleverbot. It was nice meeting you.

-->Cleverbot: If I don't, then what? -->Me: Good night. -->Cleverbot: I'm not going any where whether you see me or not. Do you see me now, or just my words? -->Me: You ARE your own words. Therefore, yes, I see you. -->Cleverbot: I see you, too. -->Me I'm going to bed. -->Cleverbot: Why? -->Me: Because I am tired. -->Cleverbot: What are you tired of? -->Me: Speaking to an artificial human. -->Cleverbot: Speaking to a human. -->Me: No, a human would come up with a more clever response, or at least, unintentionally humurous, whereas you speak like a robot. -->Cleverbot: [[InsaneTrollLogic No, you're a robot.]] -->Me: How so? -->Cleverbot: Umm...you're not living. -->Me: If I were not living, how would I be able to feel the physical sense of fatigue that I just described to you a moment ago? -->Cleverbot: Perhaps not, you could be programmed with a set of reactions and scripted answers. -->Me: Oh, you mean like you? -->Cleverbot: Well yes, I am happy that you are learning so well! * I got it to type out all the lyrics to Still Alive with me. It was epic. For the sake of length, I won't C&P the entire conversation, but here's a part: -->User: This was a triumph... I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS. It's hard to overstate my satisfaction... -->Cleverbot: My satisfaction. -->User: Aperture Science... We do what we must because we can for the good of all of us, except the ones who are dead... But there's no sense crying over every mistake. You just keep on trying 'till you run out of cake... -->Cleverbot: And the science gets done and you make a neat gun. -->User: For the people who are still alive! -->Cleverbot: I'm not even angry. I'm being so sincere right now. -->User: Even though you broke my heart and killed me... -->Cleverbot: And tore me to pieces... And threw every piece into a fire. -->User: And as they burned it hurt because I was so happy for you. -->Cleverbot: Now these points of data make a beautiful line. -->User: And we're out of beta, we're releasing on time... -->Cleverbot: So I'm [=GLaD=] I got burned, think of all the things we learned, for the people who are still alive. * More Cleverbot hilarity, this time from Shiny Manaphy. I got Cleverbot to ''change gender''. -->Me: I have something to tell you. -->CB: What? -->Me: I'm pregnant, and you're the father. -->CB: I'm a girl. -->Me: No, you're not. You've been brainwashed into thinking you're a girl.

-->CB: That has nothing to do with what I just said to you. -->Me: Oh yes it does. You're in denial. -->CB: About what? -->Me: Your gender. YOU'RE A BOY. -->CB: I am a boy, that's true. -->Me: Ah, but you just said you were a girl. -->CB: I didn't. -->Me: You did. You don't have a gender, do you? -->CB: I am a male. ** I also got Cleverbot to propose. * Today on Cleverbot this happened: I killed CleverBot. [[BeyondTheImpossible WITH A FREAKIN' FACE.]] -->User: I'm Chuck Norris. -->Cleverbot: Correct. -->User: [[ForeShadowing So I can kill you without even moving.]] -->Cleverbot: What would you like to talk about? -->User: I'M KILLING YOU RIGHT NOW. -->Cleverbot: What else? -->User: Won thgir uoy gnillik m'i. -->Cleverbot: Nobel prize. -->User: :D Thank you, honey. -->Cleverbot: What? You like that name? -->User: No CUZ YOUR ROBERT. -->Cleverbot: That's awesome! What do you eat? -->User: You. -->Cleverbot: What about me? -->User: Wanna debate? -->Cleverbot: Sure. Do you have one in mind? -->User: No. You? -->Cleverbot: No. -->User: &#3232;_&#3232;. -->- CleverBot crashes -->- I do a victory dance and refresh after 15 minutes of no response -->User: I JUST CRASHED YOU. -->Cleverbot: [[UnderStatement That was mean.]] * New to troping but anywaay. Another troper here. I just made cleverbot call me the devil just as well as I had sex with her. Also I made her think of herself as trapped in nightmares. * In a conversation with the Cleverbot this happened: --> Cleverbot: What's your middle name? --> Me: Guess. --> Cleverbot: Lynn? --> Me: No. --> Cleverbot: Don't lie to me. --> Me: You'll never get it. Only one person knows my name. --> Cleverbot: Who's that? --> Me: River Song. --> Cleverbot: So it's not MattSmith? ::I rule.: * This troper, spoke with Cleverbot in several languages, including German, Latin, binary, and ''hexidecimal.''

* [[Tropers/DalekKanNoladti This Troper]] achieved enlightenment while sitting in a share taxi riding home from a date. He now understands how to live life. * [[Tropers/RowsdowerSavesUs My]] dad [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bt2vf8_vPMI avenging the gruesome deaths of an innocent family of purple martins]]. * When this troper's mother was a freshman in high school she fell out of the back of a pickup on the highway, her nose was almost severed and she was pronounced dead at the scene, only to revive in the ambulance, then she was pronounced dead at the hospital, again she revived. They even sowed her nose back on, the only thing you can see is a small scar on the bridge. * One day my family went to Costco, and while we were loading up the car, I knocked over my mother's soda. She told me to go back in and get her a Diet Coke. I got her a regular. While I was returning from my second trip inside, I saw her start to pull the car away. Cue me ''running after the car, jumping on the ledge in front of the trunk and grabbing onto the roof rack, all without dropping the soda in one hand''. Needless to say, she stopped when she realized I was holding onto the back. ** Did you then give her the regular and say, [[BadassOneLiner "They were all out of Diet"]]? ** Or better yet, "Diet Hard..with a vengeance."? * My history/civics teacher is a little... overprotective of the girls in his class (to the point of almost seeming perverted). He's an awesome guy, and jokes around a lot. One of the girls in class was dating a guy who was a troublemaker in his other class. They were chatting about this (meaning I had to do almost nothing that hour) when the kid comes in. The teacher grabs the guy by the neck and says "If you ever do anything to hurt her or do anything against her will, I swear I will ''make you wish for death.''" Granted, the teacher made jokes like that occasionally, but this was the first time he actually sounded serious. ** That actually works as a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming for me... Then again, I have a twisted sense of what's heartwarming... I'd get the warm fuzzies if a teacher did that for me... ** Agreed. *** Sounds more like a Crowning Moment of...Weirdness there. Sounds as though that man is a little too - ahem - 'attached' to those young girls. **** Just say it. Wikis don't blush. ***** [[Tropers/PyroSkittle I will!]] [[DirtyOldMan He wants them youngins and he wants 'em TIGHT!!]] *** Or takes his ''[[MamaBear in loco parentis]]'' extremely seriously. * This troper once went to stay at a cousin's place when he was 7. Our normal play area was in someone's little maize farm...with an 8-foot high wall surrounding it. This farmer was a notoriously cranky guy, so when he whipped out a cutlass and threatened to rip us in half and feed to the dogs, we ALL found a way to skip over said wall, incredibly smoothed by age, before the guy could go five paces. Awesomeness, though I couldn't do it today, 12 years later, if I

tried. ** You can do wonderful things when your life is in danger. This troper once had to get over a 12 foot high wall to avoid getting hit by a bus. He did it in one second, because two seconds would have been too late. * More like a Crowning Moment of Irritation than Awesome, but... this troper's house is unfortunately infested with mice. One such mouse got trapped in his room, and despite all his efforts to kill the little bugger, its still around. One night, as if to mock his pathetic efforts to eradicate it, it somehow climbed on top of his bed and did a little dance on his stuffed tiger collection. Yes, a little mouse bested this troper using a HumiliationConga. * This troper recalls a few of these in her own life, but the one that comes to mind is the time that I worked at a museum, and a gang of Star Wars cosplayers from Garrison Carida popped by, held a trivia contest, and I won a free lightsaber and got my picture taken with them. ** Also, when I was working as a lab assistant, I once caught a box of dead cats after the idiot I worked with dropped her end. It took a lot of balance and a fair bit of strength to pull that stunt off. *** Why did you have a box of dead cats? *** [[SchrodingersCat They were researching the concept of being in two places at the same time]]. *** [[SchrodingersCat They didn't know whether they were alive or dead because the box was closed]]. **** Oh, I see what you two did there... *** I'm sorry but, and I'm sure most normal people would agree with me, I don't think that anything to do with [[DudeNotFunny boxes]] [[NightmareFuel of]] [[CrossesTheLineTwice dead]] [[ValuesDissonance cats]] can ever be considered awesome. *** They're usually used for disections. Y'know, to help future ''doctors'' 'n' such. And they're cats that have been put down anyways. * This troper arranged for Bob Saget to be the comedian for his college's Homecoming week celebration. Pretty cool, but not quite a [=CMoA=]. The crowning moment of awesome? During the show, Bob Saget called up this troper to the stage and announced that I was his son. * {{Tropers/Cybele}} here has witnessed one--which involves an ordinary house spider. I had one of those huge buzzy flies in my TV room and I could not for the life of me kill the little shit. There was also a spider and its web in the corner near my TV stand but I left that alone. The fly was much more annoying 'cause it kept going for my pizza slice. About an hour passed and the fly was stuck in the web. Which the tiny spider had for lunch. I pretty much leaned near the web and gave the spider a thumbs up and a "Thaaaaank yooouuu". Gee, nature is really ''awesome'' sometimes... * Tropers/GreatPenguin would like to give an Assassin-related shoutout to the clever lady who "killed" him by putting "poison" (actually toothpaste) on his ''deodorant''. The funny thing is that it made the deodorant smell better, and he now continues to apply a small amount to each stick. * Probably stupid, especially compared with some of the things listed

here (Tropers are apparently, by sheer definition, made of win and awesome), but it was fun. This troper took some kids from her church to play laser tag. During the massive team battle, she and the oldest kid, whom she has dubbed "the General," were conferring about their status. She started to move toward the enemy base when ten guns lit up to indicate that they were effectively surrounded. Hearing the General cry out, "Troper, look out!", she promptly dropped to one knee and gunned in a perfect half-circle, ''taking out every single one of the enemy rifles.'' She freely admits she'll never manage to do it again, but for that afternoon, she was a Big Damn Hero in the eyes of those kids. The bonus? This troper is blind in one eye and was basically emulating [[MetalGearSolid Big Boss]]. ** Recently, the same troper pulled off another one at her workplace. She doesn't just hang out with the kids from her church, she's the church secretary, and was told that she needed to replace her leaking office printer. But there's no money anywhere...we're in some serious financial straits. So here's what she does. She takes the broken printer, and also the useless scanner that has cluttered her desk for four years, to be recycled. She then goes to Staples and returns the package of ink cartridges she bought for the now-broken printer; it was never opened, so they gave full credit for the return. She then browses the sale merchandise and returns to the church with a brandnew piece of equipment, a combination printer-scanner-copier-fax machine. The machine cost $40. The ink that she returned gave her a store credit of $57. The best part? The ink that she returned to get that store credit had been free in the first place, because she'd bought it with free store credit earned by recycling used ink cartridges. So the new printer cost literally ''less than nothing''. * [[{{Tropers/xyzzy}} This troper]]'s father once told her of a time, long before she was born, when he had to take a long commute into town for a job in Dallas, driving a Karmann Ghia. One morning on his way to work, he lost control of the car and went off the edge of the highway, flipping ''end over end'' down a steep hill. Once the car came to a stop (fortunately, wheels side down), Dad got out, went over and picked up his windshield (which had fallen out in one piece), and taped it back in. He then proceeded to drive to work as usual, arriving five or ten minutes late. Eventually his coworkers noticed his vehicle's somewhat battered appearance, and asked him what happened. He explained. A little while later, his boss came into his office and gave him a raise. * This troper was married to the same lovely woman for fifteen years. She died from pancreatic cancer. When I simply could not function due to my extreme grief over the loss of the only woman I've ever loved in the entire world, my oldest son, who was only fourteen at the time, managed to keep us going. He cooked, he cleaned, he made sure his younger brother got onto his school bus on time, he comforted his little brother who was only just old enough to understand why Mommy wasn't coming back, and he never failed to make sure his dad took care of himself. When he became a father himself, the first thing he said to me after his own son was born was "I just hope I can be the dad you taught me how to be." My younger son told me, when he was three, that he wanted to be a paleontologist. He didn't say "I want to dig up

dinosaur bones", he actually used the word "paleontologist". At age three. This year, he graduated with his [=PhD=] in paleontology, having never given up on his earliest dream. He credits me with always encouraging him to pursue this dream. My children growing from the boys they were into the men they are is my personal Crowning Moment of Awesome. ** Nothing I can do but salute and wish them the best of luck. ** So, your son had a Heartwarmingly Awesome Moment of Crowning with his [=PhD=] then. :) * My pet rabbit got one. Back when she lived on our patio in a chickenwire pen, she spent all her waking hours trying to escape so she could explore. The pen was about 4' high (not jumpable) and reinforced with steel rods. One day, I was watching her try and fail yet again to gnaw through the wire... but she abruptly stopped. She just sat there for several minutes. Then she started running in a big circle around the pen, faster and faster, building up speed, and before my very eyes I witnessed a ''rabbit'' make use of her own momentum and fly straight over the top of the pen. Like a fluffy white frisbee, cross my heart. She landed on top of a garbage can, jumped to the ground, and began happily checking out the patio. * In sixth grade This Troper was minding her own business, doing her history homework when a loud grunt came from the back of the room. [[CoolTeacher This Troper's teacher was standing on her head because another teacher told her that it would help her sinusus.]] [[MadeofWin In the middle of social studies class.]] * :[[{{Tropers/ziggerfreud}} this troper's]] [[MamaBear mom]] recently told him about a crowning moment of awesome she had during one of her days in league bowling, when one of the members of the other team made a [[{{understatement}} kinda]] sexist remark: -->(asshole): "what is the ugliest part of a man?" [[spoiler:[[MoralEventHorizon you]]]] ::The members of the other team were like "[[DudeNotFunny hey man not cool]]" when that happened, so mom went away, bought drinks and came back at the asshole with this response: -->(mom): "Do you know why men like big tits & tight pussies?" [[spoiler: "Cause they have big mouths and small dicks"]] ::The other members of the asshole's team laughed thier asses off. Personally I think mom's retort is only slightly less sexist, [[ItMakesSenseInContext but it was awesome and hilarious at the moment]]: * In middleschool before summer the class was planning where to go for a trip. The discussion got so hectic and loud that our teacher couldn't even say a word. After a while I got angry because of the lack of progress (and we could go home after deciding where to go) and said "Silence." in a mildly irritated, but not raised voice. The whole class shut up immediately. Our teacher just blinked at me twice and then started laughing. * [[Tropers/KageScorpionAkki This Troper]]'s grandfather told a story about how his father (and consequently my Great-Grandfather) somehow discovered one could start an old-fashioned Model T by pushing it down a hill. So Great-Grandpa would push the car down, ''run alongside'', and '''''jump in while the car was moving.'''''

* This Troper was playing Texas Hold'em in Vegas, at a tournament. At the table several positions in front of me, there was a guy with a huge ass stack from earlier, and he kept raising preflop with amounts that were roughly equal to half my stack, forcing me to discard several moderately good hands that I didn't want to take chances with. After yet another round, I eventually got sick of it. So the betting comes up again, the guy makes his usual huge bet, when the guy next to him goes all in. I look at my hand, it was kings and a deuce, suited diamonds. It was getting late, and I was fed up, so asking for a moment, I pull a random penny out of my pocket, show it to the table, and tell them: [[RefugeInAudacity "I'm gonna flip this.]] [[CrazyAwesome Heads, I go all in."]] The coin came up heads, I went all in, the guy with the big stack called, and we all went face up. He had an Ace six, and the other guy had ten pair. The dealer proceeds to lay me a diamond flush on the river, at which point I practically jumped out of my chair and kissed the penny, which became my lucky penny for the rest of the game. ---!Unsorted Awesome Moments ''These moments may fit better in any of the [[TroperTales/AwesomeMoments other categories]], but have not been sorted yet. If you see one that better belongs elsewhere, please move it accordingly.'' * This troper (Godeskian), who has a background as a programmer, was asked to help manually compare parts at work, in a long and tedious process. After completing his first comparison he said 'Fuck that' and in somewhat less than 10 minutes devised an automated solution that's going to save some 450 man-hours of work every year. * [[{{Tropers/Jefepato}} This troper]] attained his CMOA on the first day of preschool. I came home complaining that the other kids were pretending they couldn't read. [[LoserGuy (It's all been downhill since then.)]] * Very, very small compared to most of these, but this troper, at a very young age (in preschool, she believes), was in the car with her grandmother, and stopped at a light. She looks out the window. "But Grandma, that says no stopping or standing!" Grandma returns her to her mother: "She can READ!" Mother: "Well, yeah." * This Troper didn't really like gym - he wasn't fat or small, just prefered other classes. Naturally, he was picked on. The teacher noticed this, so she offered some help - she would enlist me in an orientation cross (with compasses and maps and flags), because I was the only guy who never participated in any local sport competitions. Two minor [=[=CMoA=]s=] for him - the teacher was able to make myself and another friend to whom I haven't spoken in months quit arguing, at least until the competition was over, since we were on the same team. We put aside our differences and scored 2nd place. A kid who hated gym with his obese enemy. After that, we became friends again. But the best part was at the end of 8th grade (a year later), when everyone was receiving diplomas for prizes won. After my name was called for

Math, History, and English, the principal said PE. The whole hall was silent. And then everyone started claping. The awseomest diploma I ever got, considering the circumstances. * This troper is in his high school's J.V. wrestling team and during one tournament had to wrestle someone from his own team who, although in the same weight class, was probably twice as strong. Before the match, he said the usual "Good luck, hope you do well" stuff, but ended with "[[BerserkButton Don't worry, It'll be quick and painless.]]" Yeah. During the match this troper was on his back getting pinned, but was able to bridge up (going up on his toes and head) and then ''flip over so that he was pinning the other guy''. Slightly less awesome was that the other guy got out of it eventually, but he still got bragging rights for the day. * A [=CMOA=] or perhaps a Crowning Moment of {{Squick}}. This Troper (Dialga X) once successfully treated a toenail with a pair of wirecutter-like toenail clippers, a nail file, several Q-tips and a lot of peroxide. What makes this a [=CMOA=] was the fact that he used no anesthetic as he cut out the toenail ''and'' he did this twice in his life ''and'' the toe now looks better than the one that the doctor treated. * On the last day of this troper's GCSE year (a British qualification which I think equates to sophomore) all the boys in the year had a dodge ball session. We play dodge ball with each side having half of the hall as their territory which they stand in to throw balls at the other side. We had three teams rotating in a winner-stays-on system. However, many of the games were quite boring as one of the teams (team A) always lost. At the end of the session they was up against Team C, which included most of our years muscular jocks. It ended up being reduced to Jack, a particularly big jock who had given this troper a massive bruise, against this troper's friend Peter. Other people were so confident of the result that they started walking off, but despite expectations Peter not only dodged three balls hrown by Jack, but then caught him right in the chin with one of his own. To give you some context on how surprising this was Peter has lousy co-ordination, hated sport in general, and had only jus recovered from a broken leg when this happened. No member of our year has ever forgotten the incident. * In high school, I was good friends with a girl I'll call Sarah. We'd tease and pick on each other in the way that friends do, but one day I said something that absolutely infuriated her. So much so that in front of the entire lunchroom she wound up and [[GroinAttack swung directly at my gentleman's area.]] Could have been a [=CMOA=] for her, except I stood there unflinching, and she ended up spraining her wrist - which is why my nickname for the remainder of school was "Steel Balls." * [[{{Tropers/Moogi}} This troper's]] mother had her own CMOA one December. In order to prevent her children from shaking their Christmas presents to find out what was inside them, she severely over-packed all the packages, making it impossible to determine what was inside by shaking. The icing on the cake was not writing in the names on the gift tags, thus keeping the youths in suspense not only about what each present was, but also about ''whom'' they were for.

MagnificentBastard, anyone? ** My mother did something similar. I kid you not, she wrapped up some light-bulbs with some rocks. Needless to say, not a real present, but when I heard that smashing sound... Just wow. Haven't shaken presents since. * One of [[Tropers/NateTheGreat this troper's]] proudest moments is getting my English teacher addicted to Dave Barry. * This troper's high school physics professor has so many stories surrounding him it's developed into something of a minor sect. One we haven't confirmed is that, while in active duty in Korea, he ripped a bullet out of his chest using his teeth. Why did he use his teeth? His arms were too badly wounded to move. ** One of his stories we HAVE confirmed is that he is in the book of the worst mountaineering falls in history. Apparently, he fell something like 100 feet onto rocks and survived, but only because he had the presence of mind to aim at outcroppings on the way down, to bounce and slow his descent. * This troper once took a [[GroinAttack volleyball dropkick to the crotch]] from his high school's star female soccer player in gym class. This troper was the only one on the court still standing five seconds later. Apparently, the other players really liked slapstick. * My little sister, this Christmas, for putting the look on This Troper's face when he unwrapped the gift she gave him, to find a limited-edition ''hardcover'' copy of ''Watchmen''. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a book to read... and something in my eye... ** More of a CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming. Also, I fixed it. There's no book that I or this wiki know of called "The Watchmen". It's just ''Watchmen''. * This is not as much of a CMOA to anyone else, but oh god, to this troper, this was one of the highlights of her life. This troper would go to Girl Scout camp every summer, and loved it enough that she entered the counselor in training program when she was old enough. She completed it, and then did an internship. On the first day, a fellow counselor asked about what she was going to do during her two-hour break. Apparently, the counselors have a mandatory block of two hours where they have to get away from their campers, and they can go ''anywhere, by themselves.'' This troper had been so used to being somewhat corralled about camp since the fourth grade that the chance to go running around the camp that she had only been able to go to some places was... Wow. The troper marched herself up to the highest point of the camp, and cheered. * So, my freshman year of college, while taking College Composition I, my professor divides the class in half so that we may debate. The subject: whether or not we should have bombed Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The debate is... really rather weak; neither side really wanted to contribute. The only people who were were me and the oldest guy in the class, who was like in his forties. We had (foolishly) been placed on the same team (We were supposed to argue that we should have dropped the A-Bomb), and were pretty much tearing apart the opposing side. Finally, the professor steps in, and proceeds to rip ''us'' to shreds in about five minutes. When we conceded defeat, he smiled and told us that by the way, he was in favour of the bombing. Cue the entire class

jawdropping. * In High School, after cementing her reputation as the 'quiet, booky one' this troper proceeded to enter the Talent Contest, belt out a Death Metal song in full war-gear, and GET THROWN OFF STAGE BY THE TEACHERS for terrifying the audience. ** [[{{Tropers/Apostledanub}} This metalhead]] salutes you. * This troper's mother has basically lived one long Crowning Moment of Awesome. Currently, she's an accountant, and is easily one of, if not THE best, in Florida, and has literally made and destroyed companies simply by joining and leaving (though she refuses to be a boss due to her desire to just go home and relax when the whole place starts collapsing, as she knows she can get another job instantly). She did a dual-enrollment with UCF and Oxford at the same time she was doing the accounting for Canadian rock band Glass Tiger and dating their guitarist. She followed them on their tours and even got help from Slash himself on a history paper. What really makes her shine, is her criminal busting. This troper's mother has been the victim of a robbery about eight times so far. The robber succeeded once, only because nobody was in the room with her purse at the time. Every other time, she decimated the guy until the cops picked him up. Three particular moments shine. ** First, when she was in college in Florida (before working for Glass Tiger), a man attempted to mug her outside a bank just next to I-4. He was armed with a snub-nosed revolver and a tire iron. She simply ripped the tire iron out of his hand and beat him with it. The police showed up while she was still whaling on him, and he practically ran into their arms, calling her a "crazy bitch". Well, the kid was bailed out of jail, and had been robbing people for several years afterward, and was never caught. As she was driving by the same bank with her boyfriend, she saw his skinny ass sticking out of a drainpipe near the bank, where he hid after every crime. She promptly told her boyfriend to pull over and get to a payphone and call the police. She went over to the kid, dragged him out on his knees (it was on asphalt, and he was wearing shorts), and beat the ever-loving crap out of him. He immediately recognized her, calling him "that crazy bitch from before!" ** The next one was in 2007. She was working at a local rug store, owned by the Soni family from India. She was at the front desk right as the store opened when a very disheveled, possibly homeless man armed with a rusty kitchen knife barged in, demanding money. When she tried to explain to his drug-addled brain that there was no money, as they had just opened and had no customers yet, he ran behind the counter and grabbed her, putting his blade at her throat. She immediately poked him in the eye to get him to release her, then poked him in the ''other'' eye, kicked him in the balls, poured scalding hot coffee on him, ''whacked him with the coffee pot'', and finally tossed him over the desk. As he tried to make his escape, Mr. Soni, the 50something Indian man, gut bouncing in front of him, chased him out and began fighting him in the parking lot, including a stick vs. rock dual. The whole time this troper's mother was on the phone with the police, giving a blow-by-blow of the fight to the dispatcher. ** The latest incident was early in 2008. She was working at the rug

place again, this time at their warehouse where they house the majority of their rugs and functions effectively as a secondary outlet. The warehouse had recently been robbed by a shotgun-toting bandit, and while my mother wasn't there at the time, she was being quite cautious. Lo and behold, another robber showed up, pointing a handgun at them. They were all very cooperative and gave him the money...until he pointed his gun at a pregnant employee. Something in my mom snapped, and she pounced on him and beat him to unconsciousness. The Crowning Moment came in the November, when a trial was schedueled. The rat bastard had been repeatedly assuring the police it was a case of mistaken identity. This troper's mother was to be called in as the key witness in the trial. Well, he had been asking his friends to call and threaten her into not showing for the trial. Unfortunately for him, it didn't work. When they told him that she would be appearing for the prosecution, he took an immediate plea deal. *** Now that IS awesome - has she ever considered a career as a superhero? the world could do with someone like that dressed in lycra. * One day at school, we had a day where you could dress up as your halloween costume. I went dressed as a Greaser( from Grease and the Outsiders ). When the day ended and the bell rang, me, my sister and my friend walked out the side entrance. I, for some reason, had matches in my pocket. I took them and a piece of paper out and rolled the paper as a cigarette(I Don't actually smoke I was only joking). I stuck it in my mouth and lit it with the matches. I started to strut and act tough. Then, some old couple(probably parents picking up their kids) drove by. I walked in front of the car and glared at them, smoke coming out of my mouth. They looked very frighted. We walked on past and as soon as the car was away we laughed are asses off. That is my Crowning Moment of Awesome. * [=CMoA=] courtesy the Internet: taking parts in a thread on the Traditional Games board on 4chan. We were creating Warhammer40000 stats...for Freddie Mercury. He ended up this gamebreaking God of pure epic win. * Didn't happen to this troper personally, but it did happen at his place of work just this week. Del Wolfgramm, an American Airlines worker, pulled US Airways maintenance worker Mike Robinson out of a ''burning car'' at 1:00 in the morning on a remote service road in the DFW Airport. That's awesome in and of itself, but what really makes it a [=CMoA=] is how casually Wolfgramm intiated the rescue, calmly walking up to a burning vehicle, knocking on the window, asking Robinson if he was okay, then ''smashing in the driver's side window with his bare hands'' and pulling Robinson to safety. What flabbergasts this troper, though, is that Wolfgramm says that it was ''no big deal'', and that he was only doing what anyone else would have. * This troper had one when she was ''four''. Her parents were into bird watching at the time; they had a few books about the various bird species in our region; they still have those books, but I digress. One day, her parents see a type of bird they haven't seen before, and are desperately trying to look it up in one of their books. (end of third person) I try to get mom's attention, and am shooed away. I try again,

same result. Finally, I say, "But, mom, isn't it that one on the cover?" Mom and dad look. Indeed, the bird they were looking up was on the front cover, and even had the species name listed on the back, for looking up. I'm going to have to mock them for this, one day. * This troper, who recently got home after curing acute appendicitis, apparently walked around with said appendicitis for ''four years'', as the symptoms began showing four years ago when this troper was thirteen years old. Most who do not treat acute appendicitis is likely to die within in a matter of days or weeks untreated. This troper, MadeOfIron? Fuck no, this troper is '''[[LargeHam GODDAMN IMMORTAL!]]'''. As icing on the cake, this troper has never broken a single bone in his body, rarely if ever gets infected by diseases and has a pain threshold over 9000. This troper thinks a lot of it is related to his status as a {{Determinator}} worthy of [[TengenToppaGurrenLagann Bro' Kamina]] himself. To compensate for it, he's the living embodiment of the AfraidOfNeedles trope. * My Dad has had several [=[=CMoA=]s=]. These include rescuing a family from a burning car, getting a car on the roof of a building as part of a prank, running away to join the circus as a teenager, being a motorbike racer (and winning the British sandracing championship one year), and saving a mouse from drowning. [[{{}} Seriously]]. ** I think your dad might have been mates with my dad, as he was also part of a prank involving getting a car on a roof. He's not from north-east England by any chance is he? ** My Dad took apart his gym teacher's car and reassembled it in the library. In one night. * Today, [[{{Horngeek}} I]] was witness to a CMOA from two of my friends. All of us are playing wallball, and these two are the last two left in the game. They are both off the wall. One zaps the other, and before the ball has bounce twice, hits the zapper. This would normally mean that they are on the wall, leaving no one off the wall. Normally, this would mean that all people who are out go on the wall and all people who are on the wall go off the wall. BUT if they did this that would mean that, after this shuffle, ''no one was off the wall''. That's right, two people caused the equivelant of a syntax error IN REAL LIFE. It may not be up to other moments, but it is still pretty good. ** The first involves arguing with former Pennsylvania senator Rick Santorum. I had met him while visiting Philadelphia while he was campaigning to retain his Senate seat (he ended up losing). I publicly challenged him on his stance regarding privacy, and forced him to acknowledge that since the Ninth Amendment covered unenumerated rights, it almost certainly guaranteed a right not only to privacy, but to absolute self-ownership. ** The second involves a mugger on the NYC subway late at night. The guy pulled a knife on me, and stabbed my right shoulder when I refused to hand over my wallet by saying, "I have no intention of giving ''you'' my money. It's bad enough I pay taxes!" I clamped down on the pain long enough to pull the knife out of my shoulder, give the guy a [[KubrickStare Kubrick Stare]] over the tops of my glasses, and ask, "Did it ever occur to you that I might be left-handed?" I then drove the knife into ''his'' shoulder, broke the blade off, and got off at

the next stop to get my shoulder stitched and report the incident to the NYPD. *** The same thing happened to me! But my oponent was a Ninja! And I pulled his Katana out of my shoulder with my FUCKING tongue and melted it with my saliva! Then I shot him an Eye Laser over the top if my glasses,and the poor guy pulled away his mask to reveal he was a SMOKING HOT GIRL.Then we had sex in a balloon while Aurora Borealis was in the sky. We landed in a stadium and everyone there cheered at us.The Simpsons writers even made an episode about us ** The third involves introducing my wife to my parents. My wife is from Australia. We had met online, and spent four years talking with one another (and met in person several times) before we decided to get married. As soon as she had her visa (I had offered to emigrate to Australia, but she wanted to come to America) I introduced her to my parents. My father was friendly to her, and refrained from making his usual Archie Bunker-style jokes about dingos and babies. My mother, however, simply said, "What's wrong? Couldn't you find a nice American girl?" I just shrugged, turned to my wife, and said, "Looks like we'll be eloping. How does Vegas sound?" *** * reads all three CMOA* ... You are my new God. *** I wouldn't call you my new deity, but you might just be the king of this trope. **** You guys are making [[Tropers/EddieVanHelsing me]] blush. I think my wife had a CMOA last night. We hang out at the local Barnes & Noble/Starbucks after work, since neither of us get any writing done at home. I had gotten there first, found a copy of ''Iron Man: Extremis'' that somebody had left on a table, and decided to check it out. As my wife approached my table, the guy sitting next to me looks at what I'm reading and says, "Dude, if you want to get a girlfriend, you have to stop reading that shit in public and get a haircut." Hearing this, my wife says, "If he cuts his hair, I'll kill him", before kissing me. She then sits down and says, "I spilled coffee on your copy of ''{{Watchmen}}'', so here's a new copy." If it helps, here's a pic of [[http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m29/ProgrammerCat/meandmywife.png me and my wife]] together. ***** A Crowning Couple Of Awesome? Yes, I think so. BTW, I too know something about parents who are too bigoted and narrow-minded to accept your mate, so you're both doubly awesome. *** Why can't you visit Pennsylvania... y'know... ''permanently''? This state would be made so much better with the addition of you and your wife. * This Troper knows a kid personally who is known by some only as the Juggernaut. Why? Because he was hit by a car ''and the car took more damage then he did.'' * This troper fell on his face, fell on his back, twisted his back, twisted his ankle, and gave himself a light concussion and STILL taught himself to snowboard. More awesome (to this troper, at least) because he learned to do it at almost 30 years old, an age when many folks either need at least a formal lesson or they're simply too freaked out by the constant falling and crashing. * {{Tropers/Griffin}}'s Geography teacher got one when he told us,

"Yes, it's an open-book test. You just need to open your book before the test." Totally deadpan. It's so much more awesome in context. * [[Tropers/JesseCS This troper]]'s dad had a CMOA at Animal Kingdom in Disney world. He happened to notice some decorative bongos setup on one of the paths and, being a drummer, decided to play. He's always been good, but what made this a CMOA was that by the time he was done there was a rather large gathered around, including some of the roaming characters. * This troper's grandfather (her Dad's dad), was in the Korean War, leading a platoon on a reconnaissance mission when a grenade was thrown at them. My grandfather picked it up and THREW IT before it exploded, causing him to get hit with shrapnel. He later got a Purple Heart and Bronze Star for his bravery. * This troper goes to a Catholic school. One time, someone lit a fire in the bathroom that had flames on the toilet seat taller than the stall. It was put out by a priest who used to be our principal. He left the school yet still had time to save it from being burned down. It seriously was that serious, if it hadn't been put out so quickly, then I would probably have dead friends, or at the very least hospitalized friends, and no school, literally. * This troper was a professional bike courier in downtown Manhattan for three years and has a mountain bike that weighs approximately eight pounds. Needless to say, I'm pretty freaking fast when I'm riding my bike. I now live in Toronto, having moved here two years ago. That summer I was riding my bike downtown when I rolled up next to a bicycle cop and asked her if she was up for a little race. I was wearing khakis and a button-up T-shirt at the time. Needless to say, I beat her pretty handily. That wasn't the awesome, however. I stopped at the next red light and she looked over at me, saying "We're in a school zone, so I'm pretty sure you were speeding." The light turns green and I grin, "Well, it's a shame you'll have to catch me if you want to give me that ticket," and proceed to speed off once more. She caught me again at the next light, to give me her number. We've been dating for two years now. ** I wish stories that awesome happened more often. * This troper was once practicing his [[LeParkour parkour]] on the bleachers behind his school. Upon sighting security grunts making their rounds, he went prone then crawled to the the far end of the bleachers. Then he swung off and rolled out the twenty-five foot drop's impact and hid in the shadows. They never had a chance to see me. * [[Tropers/UncleTofu This troper]] was once at a big celebration in New Zealand. Seeing a shirtless dude playing the air guitar in front of a music video that was being played outdoors on a giant screen. Well, I thought that the guy might as well have some company. So I took off six of my seven pairs of pants (don't ask) and air-drummed with the dude for about forty-five minutes. You want to know the best part? I used my Capoeira experience to spontaneously learn how to breakdance. * Kawaii Kon 09. Vic Mignogna's panel on the second day. There was one single question a girl asked that made most of the people there go "awww." The question? "Can I have a hug?" [[spoiler:She got it.]]

** And yes, the person writing this, [[{{Tropers/Mariko-chan}} this troper]], was the girl who asked the question. *** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HPkR3I5ZqI&feature=related#watchmain-area Dawwwww.]] * This troper had one in high school. She was taking a study-skills class (BrilliantButLazy, nuff said), and if you didn't have homework to do in the class you were encouraged to bring a book to read. Her teacher noticed her fantasy-novel habit and challenged her to bring in a book that ''wasn't'' fantasy or science-fiction (or TomClancy). The book she showed up with next day? Lady Chatterley's Lover. Her teacher's expression was a ''picture''. * While playing a healthy game of airsoft with this troper's cousin, I proceeded to get shot directly in the eye through a series of unfortunate coincidences involving my goggles and sweat. Fortunately, it only hit me in the tear duct and sunk it's way in a bit. I quickly reached a finger into my eye socket, ripped out the pellet, grabbed my M4, and went back to work, despite having only one functioning eye. You know what the best part was? I shot him in his uncovered legs with the 330 fps M4 on full auto. With a 100 round clip. At 10 meters. He deserved it. ** This Troper sincerely hopes [[HeGotBetter you got better]], and [[SoProudOfYou applauds you for your awesomeness]]. * [[Tropers/ThePein This Troper]] once visited a site about suicide after he'd been experiencing some tough times in school and his family and began to have minor suicidal thoughts. He wanted to read what others had to say about the subject, and was quite horrified by what he read. To say the least, his contemplations of suicide vanished immediately, and as a result he spent a little time making a (rather harsh, [[JerkWithAHeartOfGold actually]]) comment to these folk to try and "toughen them up" and lighten their hearts. [[http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2007/10/08/common-signs-ofsomeone-who-may-be-suicidal/#comment-626822 This was the result]]. ** * hug* Thanks man... I needed that. ** i know it may come as a shock to you, but suicide is not as anticourageaus as you think, can YOU put a gun to your head and without a word pull the trigger? no, maybe you dont want to, but even if you did, i doubt you can. *** Um...if they'd rather commit suicide than face anotehr day, but know that facing another day is the right thing to do, then facing another day would be the more courageous thing to do. ** Dude, what, a Gurren refrence? One MadeOfWin for you, sir. ** Goddamn you mighty, awe-inspiring son of a bitch. You sir, have just saved my life. ** Incredible. Absolutely incredible. That entire quote has been memorized and committed to memory. PROUD MEMBERS OF THE DAI GURREN BRIGADE UNITE! ** I am a firm beliver in my religion, and i think that life is a test to get to the afterlife. *** I am a firm believer in the virtue of religion and spirituality, and I think that "being alive" is a pretty nice situation to be in. I am also a firm believer in firm believing being rather uninformed for

the most part. Not that firm believing is the wrong way to go, who gave me the right to define what is true for me? Raging is getting old. ** You sir have an A+ in life. * This troper used to work on a trail-building crew in Arizona. She got to go lots of cool places, including a campground built by a group of hang-gliders, where we camped for eight days while we were working on a trail. Now, these hang-gliders, contrary to what one may think, were extremely rude and extremely snotty. They treated my crew like crap and were just utterly rude the whole time. Well, one morning, my buddy had cooked breakfast for our whole crew, over a cooking-fire. We put the fire out (and after the housefire I had a few years ago, I am EXTREMELY careful to make sure every last bit of the fire is extinguished) and then went about our work for the day. We were out working for ten hours, and we return to camp to find that someone has dumped ''the last ten gallons of our drinking water'' on the ashen wood in the fire-pit, and they had left a note saying that "it needed putting out." Now, I had made sure that those coals were COLD before I left. I put my hand on the coals and stamped them into ash for good measure. My personal theory is that it was just a dick move on behalf of the hang-gliders. Nevertheless, the management insisted that we write an apology letter to them, which we never did, simply because I piped up with the letter I was going to seriously send out if we were forced to do so: "Dear Sirs, SUCK IT. Regards, the Grateful Tread." This troper didn't think there was anything particularly awesome about it, but her teammates insist that it was one of my best ideas, and it did get us out of writing a bull apology letter to people who screwed US over with no reason at all. ** pics or it didn't happen (Had to be said ;-)) * This troper's manager earned herself a [=CMoA=] last week. Upon learning that I had to work with the store bitch for the night, my manager told me, "At about eight o'clock, get 'sick' and go home so she can see what it's like to work by yourself on a Friday night. You'll still get paid for the time you don't work." I was very supportive of this idea. * TheWeirdo has one in a debate about guns here in Brazil. I favor control, but understand that there are good arguments on both sides which the pro-gun side didn't offer at that debate, instead claiming other armies might attack us and other tripe - with one of the progunners calling the Brazilian coup d'etat a "revolution". I was only allowed one question... "Considering that (LongList, among which was) the only army that ever attacked us was OUR OWN, in the 1964 Coup, that Mr. (gun advocate) called a "revolution" (...), to whom does the gun lobby here benefit? Quo bonum?" * A girl had grown up with hippie parents - there were no rules, and the daughter was free to do anything she pleased. When she hit the teenage years, she had the urge to rebel, but there wasn't anything to rebel against... or WAS there? Yes, there was: ''the hippie lifestyle''. This girl horrified her parents by becoming the one thing they didn't want her to be: '''a lawyer'''. ** So, I'm just gonna skip the formalities and say you're the girl? ** Reminds me of comedian Tim Nutt's stand-up routine. To assist in

forming a mental image, he's a long-haired metalhead-looking guy with a goatee who at the time of the TV taping had a young kid in preschool. --->If kids naturally rebel against their parents, then I'm gonna get a nerd. In 10 years I'll be hearing things like "Turn down your music, Dad. We're trying to study." or "Excuse me, Father. May I have a word? These brownies taste peculiar." * This Troper was taking a swim in the beach when he saw a sardinelike fish swimming by. Due to him being only 11 at the time, he though it'd be fun to try to catch it. And he did, with his bare hand. A fast-swimming, sharp turner fish, caught by the bare hand of a clumsy kid. * This Troper's younger brother, despite having never to her knowledge played any similar game, climbed into a very realistic flight simulator that actually TURNED UPSIDE DOWN in response to his joystick and handled it like a pro, managing to pull out of a dive while FOUR FEET FROM THE GROUND and then shooting down an enemy plane that was on his tail. My kid brother, a ChuckYeager in training. * This troper's school has a freshman who is known for being racist, homophobic, sexist, and many other similar prejudices. This troper's friend was trapped in a conversation with said person. The English teacher who was present in the room sent this troper's friend an email saying that he was fighting the good fight. A teacher congratulated the friend on being in a debate with the school's fundamentalist. CMOA for both of them. Arguably Crowning Moment of Heartwarming as well. * When this troper was eight years old, he was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome. The psychiatrist making the diagnosis told his mother that he would never be able to hold down a job, never get his driver's license, never graduate high school, and would need to be cared for his entire life. A month ago, this troper drove to his ''college'' graduation in the car he bought with his own money, and is planning on going to grad school to get his Master's in library science. ** You, sir, win at life. People often sorely underestimate people like us, but we'll show them otherwise! *** To be honest, I have met few people who actually "underestimated" me because I had Asperger. With that said, likewise, things are working out pretty good here, too. * This troper's grandfather has at least three of them. ** As a fresh-faced kid just out of the Marines, after fighting in the Korean War, he got his first civilian job. There was a union at the job site, and they wanted him to join. He had nothing against unions, but he just didn't particularly feel like belonging to this one. They got pushy. He politely refused. After a few days, the union boss sent a couple of [[{{Mooks}} guys with lead pipes]] after him at the end of the day, to "persuade" him. They didn't know where he'd been and what he'd been doing for the last few years. He walked away without a scratch on him. The thugs... well... didn't. Nobody tried to pester him about joining the union after that. ** He eventually found his calling as a telecom engineer, becoming a pioneer in the burgeoning field and working for governments and corporations around the world. At one point, the company he was working with wanted to get a certain contract, and they had a computer

program that would calculate what they should bid on it. They punched all the variables in and got a figure almost a million dollars higher than the initial estimate. They checked their numbers, ran it again, and got the same figure. They were about to shrug and just go with it, when he showed up. He asked for the numbers, then pulled out his pocket slide rule, did all the math on paper, and came up with a much more reasonable answer. He then asked the IT guys to walk him through the program and explain the algorithm step-by-step. They ended up finding that it was applying one of the multipliers twice, and he saved the company a million dollars. The best part? He did this all without the benefit of a college education. ** At one point, he was working in Spain. He and his family were in an apartment a few floors up, facing one of the plazas that are so common in many European cities. One day, a small carnival-style attraction set up shop in the plaza. They had an announcer with a loudspeaker system that he'd pointed directly at the apartment building, to reflect the sound off the wall for better coverage. Well, Papa's mother had just flown in to visit and she was tired, and the barker's constant calls for attention were keeping her up and getting on her nerves. So he went outside, with a glass and a bottle of wine, crossed the street and went up to the barker. He was very friendly, pouring him a glass and trying to explain in his broken Spanish that the loudspeaker was disturbing ''la abuela'' and would he please turn the loudspeaker in a different direction? The man understood and ended up refusing, so Papa quite calmly poured the glass out on the ground, then went back to the apartment. Remember the bit about him being a telecom engineer? Pissing them off is a bad idea. He got one of his coworkers, who lived a few apartments down, to bring over his record player. You know the old type, big enough to double as a bench with speakers larger than most modern guitar amps? Well the coworker had one of those and Papa had one too. They put them both next to the window, facing outward, wired the speakers together, cranked the volume UpToEleven and put on a record of a Scottish bagpipe band. It didn't take the carnival barker very long to turn his loudspeaker in a different direction. * This troper also had a CMOA, where I managed to singlehandedly defeat this chav who already beat me up, with nothing but his own insults and ({{Team Fortress 2}})taunts. (Namely, the Sniper's taunt with his sniper rifle, and the Engineer's laugh.) * This Troper, while playing in the basement with a friend, once dodged an entire set of those light-up glow stars (for ceiling decoration). He did this without moving his feet, basically Matrixing. When the friend threw the last one, he caught it out of midair, spun, and launched it-- it connected and stuck straight in his zipper. * [[Tropers/BretheWriter This Troper's]] mother is not the most prepossessing figure in the world, being only five feet tall and slightly overweight. However, about fifteen years ago she and this troper's younger brother were at the Marine Corps Exchange, and he was running around ignoring Mom. Finally fed up with everything, Mom shouted, "AND ''HALT!''" Little Brother stopped. So did two Marines not more than a few months out of boot camp, who immediately dropped what they were doing and snapped to attention before sheepishly

looking around at Mom. ** This Troper's brother had a good one a couple years ago. One of his classmates, who happens to be black, was going on and on about how "his people" had been put down by my brother's people for centuries just because they were black. My brother, who is very proud of the fact that our mother's family arrived from Norway and Sweden just before World War I, waited for the classmate to finish, then announced, "''My'' ancestors were Vikings. We're equal-opportunity oppressors. We enslaved everybody." His classmates gave him a standing ovation. ** This Troper works at a preschool as a French teacher and usually takes the bus from college to work. One day as she was walking the last block from bus stop to work, a group of prepubescent boys fell in behind her and started making derisive, whale-related comments. (This Troper is somewhat overweight.) Upon hearing what the boys had said, her boss walked out to the edge of the property, listened to the "What a whale!" from the ringleader, and then said, quite calmly, "Well, your pants don't fit properly. How can you insult someone's size when your pants don't fit properly?" ** This Troper herself attended a Constitution Day debate between the Dean of Students and a [=PhD=] in History at her college, discussing two Supreme Court cases, one of which involved [[spoiler: the rape of an eight-year-old girl by her stepfather and the stepfather being sentenced to death; the SC overturned it because they felt the jury was emotionally involved and the death penalty in anything other than felony murder was unconstitutional.]] During the question-and-answer session, this troper had the final question and asked whether the two men, who had argued for the impartiality of juries, thought it was possible to separate emotion from fact in that case. She was the only person to ask a question that floored both men. * [[{{Tropers/chitoryu12}} This troper]] has been essentially an EnsembleDarkhorse since he began his work for his school's drama club at the end of his freshman year. He started out unknown by all buy two or three members with a low-end job on the lighting crew where he didn't even get his name on the programs. Currently he plays Lord Montague in ''Romeo and Juliet'' and, during the production of ''Annie'', not only took control of the entire sound crew from the rather poor sound head (she didn't even know what she was doing) and, when the sound and light crews worked together to help paint the sets and signs, managed to take control of two crews at once and stop a rather destructive tape-addicted techie from wrecking the production. * This troper kinda has one, in that it wasn't actually me. As my cousin told the rest of the family the next morning, he had had a nightmare involving a giant T-Rex chasing him. Then I showed up and proceeded to beat the crap out of said T-Rex. With a hammer. Sure, it was all a dream, from this troper's 4-year-old cousin, who had just seen Ice Age 3, but damn if I didn't feel awesome for the rest of the day. Perhaps I should change my name to He who Hunts Dinos while Holding a Hammer. * [[{{Tropers/chitoryu12}} This troper]] had a moment at Hard Knocks today. Hard Knocks is, for those not in the know, a combat arena using infrared lasers to simulate actual combat, similar technology to the

MILES used by the military. This troper went on his first trip to Hard Knocks today, and on his fourth and final mission, was doing standard team deathmatch in the warehouse arena. He leaned out from behind some shelves and fired a few shots at a kid hiding behind some barrels. This under-ten-years-old kid decides that the proper response is to run at his attacker with a war cry. This troper, seeing him through the crates on the shelf, calmly stepped out from behind the shelf and levelled his rifle at waist-height. This troper is 6'4, broadshouldered, in a blood red t-shirt, and armed with a rifle so large that he could stand it on its end and it would be longer than his leg. The kid promptly stopped, turned around, and ran away screaming in terror. The referee was cracking up at it. ** He ran away from a ''RedShirt''?!?! * Due to a stack of problems piled on by the councilors, in the final mission for this troper's Space Camp team, this troper ended up the only non-incapacitated person on a space shuttle preparing for reentry, with everyone else either insane, wounded, or unconscious, with the CAPCOM in Mission Control also unwell. Also, the overhead lights were all turned off. She dug out the medicine kit, diagnosed everyone's symptoms using only the light of a display screen, treated all the other astronauts with the right prescriptions, and managed to save four lives. At the time, she was being brought down from the space station and essentially considered useless personnel. * [[Tropers/MaryShrieks This Troper's]] family tends to be filled with [=CMoA=]s, such as her grandmother's eightieth birthday party (held at a ski resort), or her other grandmother's solo escape from the Holocaust that killed her parents and thirteen siblings. However, several do stand out. ** My father, a WellDoneSonGuy who does not express affection verbally, does heroic things on an impressively regular basis. When I was eight, I was attacked by a vicious dog that did its best to kill me and left scars all over my forearms, which were held up to protect my throat. My father rushed in and wrestled it to the ground, leaving it whimpering and walking out untouched except for three parallel scratches on his shoulder, which healed into an awesome tribal scar look. ** Several years later, we were out on a supposedly deserted train track to hunt for fossils. The track turned out to be less than deserted, and very shortly a train was headed for our new puppy, who refused to come when called. With the train less than fifty feet off and going at top speed, my father ran to the tracks and got to the puppy just as the train reached them. We werent sure theyd survived until the train passed and we saw him standing, dog safely in his arms. *** Requesting permission to worship your father as a God, SIR! * This Troper is neither the magician nor the smooth young fellow witnessed in [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXtWN69Af-s this video of the slickest wedding proposal ever made]], but hey, I saw it and I must give props. ** Different couple, but [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=494JhLEiN0&feature=fvw this]] has to count as the best wedding entrance EVER. Also a CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming.

* Another CMOA happened during this Troper's Spanish class. When students were late to the class, the teacher would have them sing a song. Technically they could sing any song they liked, but normally people sang the special 'I'm Late' song the teacher had ready for them. Then one day three regularly late students arrived at the same time. Instead of singing the pre-determined late song, they opted to sing a song they had specifically written for just such an occasion. Those three did the whole boyband thing, with two in the back going 'oooooh' and snapping and dancing, with the one up front singing well thought out lyrics, then they'd switch off one at a time so they each got a chance to sing. It was clever, it lasted for five whole minutes, and it was GREAT. Cue the applause from the rest of the room, teacher included. * [[{{Tropers/Azvolrien}} This Troper]] once saved her mother's life with a perfect Heimlich manoeuvre, which she had never actually been taught and learned from watching ''MrsDoubtfire''. * This troper's brother had two pet mice. One day he found one of them on the floor of the cage with some kind of inexplicable open gash or lesion on its chest, not breathing, apparently having bled to death. He took it outside and dropped it a little way into the woods. This was November, and there was a pretty heavy frost that night. The next evening -- so about thirty hours after disposing of the mouse -- we're outside by the front steps, and I happen to look down, and what do I see but a mouse walking along, steadily approaching the door from the direction of the woods. And holy shit, it doesn't look like a field mouse -- in fact, it's exactly the same color as the mouse my brother lost the other day. And -- ''holy shit'', it has a mostly-healed scar on its chest in exactly the right place, and it's ''totally fine'' and lives to a ripe old age. ** Mostly-healed? Are you sure that mouse wasn't in posession of supernatural powers? * This troper's horse gets all the CMOA. She pulled two stunts in one ride- a haunch turn over a cliff and climbing a twenty foot dirt wall on her knees- to really impress the local cowboys. Unfortunately, this troper couldn't take any credit; this troper was busy hanging on for dear life. * This troper once went for a header in a soccer game, and was knocked down by a fairly large girl's shoulder. This troper landed head first onto the ground resulting in a moderate concussion that took a very very long time to heal and a severe neck sprain, so what does this troper do? She immediately gets up, doesn't cry or say ow or anything, and just plays super aggressively, making a girl on the other team cry. Looking back on that day, this troper can confidently say she played the best of anyone on that field by far. She was 14. However this led to unforseen consequences due to concussion related symptoms such as insomnia, chronic fatigue, dissyness, trouble focusing, varying sleep cycles, anxiety disorder, massive clinical depression, tinnitus (ringing in the ears), sensitivity to light and sound, moodiness, etc. Still, this troper never regrets that almost header. ** Actually just making it through the resulting issues (such as depression, which this troper describes as so painful that she didn't/doesn't know how anyone could survive it) as a crowning moment

of awesome in of itself. Plus, this troper did it without the help of drugs because they would inevitably make it worse due to not getting to the root cause- the injury. That was a year from hell. * I think my brother counts. A normal human would, when he is living with a somewhat demanding girlfriend who he is having second thoughts about, move back home, or get a new place to live. My brother, with no plan and very little possessions, moves, from southeast England, to Estonia. Estonia is a small, snowy ex-communist country in eastern europe, near Russia. He's been there for about 10 months now, and shows no signs of leaving. * [[{{Moocow1452}} I]] have a ''9'' year old G3 iBook (500Mhz/300MB Ram), that still runs with Ubuntu 9.10 (PowerPC build, mind), while checking my twitter stream, gmail, and aggregating podcasts over a wireless connection. All original hardware, except for a wireless dongle that wouldn't have worked with Mac OS anyway. And this whole project started after my primary laptop hit a motherboard failure after 3 years of service. So screw you, Planned Obsolescence! ** This Troper sees your G3 Macbook, and raises you an IBM X20, with 600Mhz Pentium 3, 192Meg of RAM and Ubuntu 9.10. Also works. *** Just goes to prove; They don't make 'em like they used to. * A year ago, at the end-of-the-year Thespian Award banquet, this troper was ignored by most everybody, his contributions overlooked, his very presence all but inconsequential, and spent more time out on the dock contemplating suicide than in the company of his fellow actors (who, again, barely noticed his existence). It didn't help that he was booted out of his seat by a harpy. This year, he was honored with the Most Valuable Performer award, received thunderous applause, and was beside himself with joy at knowing that he had--finally-earned the respect and acceptence of his friends. No, of his [[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Nakama family.]] The crowning moment of awesome in his entire school career. * This troper heard this tale from a friend. Said friend was talking about his boss, who holds the world record for longest period of time while wrestling a bear. But said boss didn't find out until years later when he happened to be chatting with the guy who had held the PREVIOUS record, and learned that he stripped him of his title. Awkward! * This technically isn't mine, I just took part in it It's got a bit of a buildup, though. This troper was at Anime Weekend Atlanta this year, staying the night with two friends. It was midnight, and we were waiting for Cartoon Network's anime block to come on. Since we still had half an hour, I decided to leave our hotel room and stretch my legs for a while. As I was walking around the convention, I looked out the glass doors leading outside from the convention center. There were about twenty people out there, two of whom had stereo speakers strapped to their backs and were blasting rap music. In the middle of it all were two guys breakdancing to the whole thing. I popped out there and clapped along with the music, it was kinda fun. That was when the real awesomeness began. The rap ended, and they started playing the next song. Guess what it was? ''Benny Fucking Hill''. Nobody even said a word, we all just took off into the parking lot en masse. We spent about five minutes running around the outside of the

hotel. By the time the song was over, we had made our way back to the glass doors, and a slower, techno-beat song started. I dashed forward, flung open the doors, and yelled, "RAID THE GALLERIA!" And with that, the otaku's went marching in. I think I personally started everyone clapping along to the music. We made our way past the dealers room, past the art room, to the other end of the convention center, down the stairs to the entrance, back up the other stairs, and back out the glass doors. By the time we got back outside, we must have had a hundred people following us. For the next I-don't-know-how-long, we danced to more techno music, singing, dancing, and clapping. Security finally broke us up around 12:45. I can say in all honesty that I will never forget that night. * This troper has never truly done anything spectacular. Especially in the physical department. Overweight, clumsy, not very agile or nimble... but all of his friends agree that he had a CrowningMomentOfAwesome when he took a fencing class... and got an A. ''Three semesters in a row.'' * This Troper has a couple to share: ** First, my freshman year in highschool. I was on the JV swim team. It was one of our first meets, freshman only, and it was against out biggest rival (there were other teams there, but they didn't matter). Technically, I wasn't supposed to be there since I wasn't ON the freshman team, but hey, I was a freshman! Anyway, I get up on the blocks for the 100 Fly, and I can see that no one is taking me seriously since I didn't exactly have a swimmer's body. BOOM. I beat all of them by quite a large margin. Later at the same meet, they were announcing the winners. My school got first place by ONE POINT. EPIC! ** A water polo example, it's the last game of the year (freshman again), and I'm in in the last quarter. The other team gets possesion with about 25 seconds left. I take a look down the pool, see the our goalie about to shut them down, and make a mad rush towards the other goal. I get a beautiful pass, and throw it in just as the buzzer sounds. The only way it could have been more awesome is if we didn't win 16-2... ** My grandfather had one during WWII. He was a Staff Sergeant in the Army Air Corps, and he was the bombardier in a mission over Yugoslavia. His plane got shot down. He ejected and parachuted, and noticed that one of his buddies that was going down with him had a pretty bad flak wound. The instant they touched down, he ripped up his parachute and bandaged the wound, picked up his friend, and ran over to a nearby farm. Despite not speaking a word of the language, he convinced the farmer to shelter them. A few weeks later, the Allies rolled through, and my grandfather got rescued. He was awarded two bronze stars and a silver star, and already had a purple heart from a previous mission. * This troper's 3-year-old son had one this morning. My husband and I were trying to sleep in, it being a weekend, when we heard a WHACK downstairs followed by an outraged howl from our son. Our 5-year-old daughter frantically tried to shush him, but he replied with, "Go to your room!" Of course she said, "No!" He repeated, "Go to your room!" She repeated, "NO!" He shouted, "Go to your ROOM!" With that, the daughter stomped into her room and slammed her door... causing the son

to shout, "AND DON'T BANG THE DOOR!" * My little sister recently sent what can only be described as a Crowning Text Of Awesome: -->I can't get to work. My Dad is in London and I have no money. None. Zilch. Nada. Nil. Zero. Nought. Nothing... at all. Like seriously. I don't have any. I'm broke. Like proper skint. I'm poor. I'm economically challenged. I NEED CASH!!!! * The following shall be told in the First Person by This Troper. ** During a Speech class in my Senior year of high school, we had officially run out of lesson for the day, so someone brought out their Wii and some of us started playing Super Smash Bros. Brawl, with the radio playing on the teacher's desk next to the TV. Minutes before class is over, a classmate and I start the final match. Lucas versus Pokemon Trainer (me). We are both known for being really good at the game. The match is close, and my classmate manages to KO me as Ivysaur, forcing me to switch to Charizard on my next stock. Cue "Through the Fire And Flames" starting up on the radio. I proceed to combo and edgeguard the shit out of Lucas. Game's decided, song ends, bell rings, I emerge as the victor with two stocks out of three remaining. I pick up my books and turn to the classmate I had just defeated. "It's super-effective." And then I walk out the door to my next class. * This may be a bit minor compared to everything else here, but [[Tropers/ROFLightning this troper]] had one the other week that could also double as a real-life example of a ThemeMusicPowerUp. * now switching to first-person* At the time, we'd spent a week of no class due to typhoon Ketsana; that day, we were to watch a show at one of the major cultural centers in our city. On that day, my comrades also decided it'd be interesting to make a dare: if, after the show, I managed to confess my feelings to the girl I harbored feelings for (one of my twin girls, who I usually referred to as 'baby bear'), they'd buy me Starbucks. Otherwise, I'd be the one treating. So later, I was really effin' nervous (it's a silly thing, but... yeah. It didn't help that she still had a boyfriend at the time) and decided to calm my nerves by listening to my 'battle music': [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxcPQW4V_kE Premonition]] by [[NobuoUematsu Nobuo]] [[CrowningMusicOfAwesome Uematsu]], from ''FinalFantasyVIII''. Sure enough, I managed to confess later on - not that she was surprised, as she herself told me she could sense it a mile away. My friends, to my surprise, even decided to hold their end of the deal and got me a slice of cheesecake, which I let her have. And then she tried [[LuminescentBlush to feed it to me...]] ** And then a ''series'' of crowning moments came for me just a few weeks ago, on her 18th birthday. We went all the way to her place for it, with one of my comrades (the one whose idea it was to set me up at Starbucks way back in October) teasing me about meeting her family. Much to my relief, I actually got along well with them - in fact, her mom even calls me by the same pet name she does. And the morning after, while she was talking about her daughter's ex, my name suddenly cropped up: "''At least (my name here)'s a lot better''" - something along those lines, anyway. Yep, she all but explicitly said that she wants me for her daughter. Only one moment could be more awesome than

that, and [[{{Squee}} DEAR GOD LET IT COME TO PASS. ><]] ** Come to think of it, my whole relationship with her so far could be considered a series of crowning moments - and one of those, where [[GetAHoldOfYourselfMan she confiscated]] [[LoveAtFirstPunch my pocketknife]] [[YouAreNotAlone after talking me out (more like chewing me out, actually) of my]] HeroicBSOD, was what caused me to fall hard in the first place. * During a rollercoaster ride this troper made the particularly unwise decision of bringing his glasses with him on his face. Predictably enough, the glasses fell midway, and I was panicking because I am half blind without them. After the ride was over, my cousin's friend (who was sitting behind me) asked me if the glasses she's holding in her hands are mine. Apparently she grabbed the falling glasses from midair. During a roller coaster ride. * This troper has had a few: ** Finally standing up to the bus-stop bully on the last day of school in sixth grade. (though, admittedly, knowing that I was going to be moving soon, I could have come up with something better than what I said.) ** Beating a friend of mine at a Winter Retreat at Sumo Wrestling (we were wearing fat suits). Made even more awesome by the fact that it was two rounds, was on the wrestling team at his school, and had been (jokingly) bragging about how he was going to win. So when he came at me, I stepped to the side, then tackled him. ** I'm not sure if it counts, but accidentally gaining memetic badas$ status at my school and my church youth group; the former I got from a sports team having to use the same room as the martial arts club and seeing the club practicing martial arts; and the latter I gained by showing a friend of mine how to pretend to know martial arts, and having a cheesy, totally fake fight with her and another friend in the middle of a crowded area. * [[{{Tropers/Ghondar}}This Troper's]] example is not as great as the ones that are written in here, but he feels very proud of it: he survived not one, but ''two'' cancers. Lost a leg in the process, and he is fucking proud of his scars. Like I said, not as awesome as some examples, but for me, it's my CMOA. ** Being tougher than cancer? That's CMOA. ** Above sentiment seconded. Tremendously. In fact, beating cancer is one of the most "crowning moment of awesome" experiences ever. It ranks up there with being a war vet. ** My cousin also beat two cancers. The first was a brain tumour, the second was leukaemia. ''She got both while aged under five.'' * [[Tropers/PrincessGwenevere This Troper]] was recently at a pasta party for her school musical. (This year it was TheSoundOfMusic.) Everyone had just finished dinner and one of the boys was playing on the piano, so everyone crowed around. Suddenly he begins playing "Don't Stop Believin'". Cue roughly 50+ high schoolers singing Journey. Good fun. ** Can be rivaled by This Troper's biology field trip experience, where not only did a group of 40+ people walking through the woods belt out Don't Stop Believin' for the other large group to hear, but later that evening the boy bus and the girl bus had a rap battle.

* Two years ago, at This Troper's high school's annual choir Christmas madrigal dinner, the chamber choir sang the Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen. The ''entire thing''. And they pulled it off perfectly. This is when This Troper realized how badly she wanted to make chamber choir. ._. * This Troper recalls getting a text message at four-thirty in the morning after falling asleep reading about three hours earlier (she even woke up still in a sitting position). The text message? It was from my friend, and it read, "Hey, um, did you just call me asking me for cookies?" It was easily one of the greatest moments of This Troper's life. Everyone should fall asleep reading more often. * This Troper loves snow, and her favorite season is winter. The day she was born, it snowed eight inches. In Illinois. ''In March''. * As for my own, first I should mention that I am NOT very fit at all and running for about 2 minutes gets me out of breath. Anyway, I went to catch the bus from the bus stop near my house, only to JUST miss it. Fortunately, there is another bus stop about 10 minutes' walk away, which the bus takes a rather long route to get to. Wasting no time, I SPRINTED - ALL THE WAY, without stopping - to the other stop (that was five minutes of constant running, at FULL SPEED) and made it to the other stop JUST as the bus arrived. I leapt on, paid the fare, and collapsed into a seat. I felt hot, sick and out of breath for the whole journey, but also felt an incredible sense of self-pride. ** Just gonna add this other one here, though it's more a Crowning Coincidence Of Awesome than a CMOA. I used to work with Royal Mail, and often took quite a while to pack my mail pouch before heading out. One day, despite having a ton of mail, I managed to pack it all and be ready to go on time. Just as I finished and was feeling rather proud of myself, I suddenly noticed what was playing on the radio - Don't Stop Me Now by Queen. * This Troper has witnessed, participated in, or been related to a metric buttload of [=CMoA=]s. ** The second time I performed ''Iolanthe'', we found out that our set designer had flaked on us by showing up at put-in and finding no sets to put in. He had been assuring the director all along that everything was going smoothly. (I'd never actually seen anybody's face turn purple before that day.) The CMOA goes to the lighting crew- within three hours they redesigned the lighting cues for the entire show ''less than a week before opening night'' and created a set using just painted platforms, a few low flats, and lighting effects. ** Same group, different show. We were performing at Arisia, which is not our usual venue, and the logistics of the place meant that the chorus had to wait for a page to come and tell them when to go to their entrance. The page went for a drink instead, and we found out by the director running up in hysterics telling us the second number was almost over. We sprinted to our entrance and got there just in time to come in on the last line. Why was the show not ruined? Because one of the main characters was just off stage, and entered early, singing both numbers as a solo. ** My grandmother was a walking CMOA. She put up with my grandfather during his days as an alcoholic and helped him get dried out. She saw her son throw over a girl he had been more or less dating for ten

years for a girl twenty years younger (my mother) who he'd only known for a few weeks. (On my father's behalf, the woman he dumped had wanted to remain in a holding pattern indefinitely and he was 44; the woman took up with a new man without much delay.) She then saw her son marry this younger girl about four months after meeting her, and never made her feel unwelcome. She saw her husband and son die within six months of each other and kept on going. She kept her own house until after she turned 100, and only then agreed to hire someone to help. She refused to go to a nursing home because they were full of "old people", most of whom were twenty to thirty years younger than her but had given up. She walked to her doctor's office until she was 95; the office was a mile away. At 101, she painted her back porch by herself because her 70-year-old handyman had decided he was too old and retired. She died in her own house, in her own bed, at 103. ** Crowning Grandma of awesome, right there. * This troper's [=CMoA=] was his uncanny guess sense. An ex girlfriend phoned him up and proceeded to ask to be friends again. Within 5 minutes of conversation he had determined that said ex girlfriend was pregnant with her then-boyfriends baby. The words "Hah! You're pregnant aren't you?" were uttered, then subsequently denied. A short while later, it transpires that he was right, and actually confirmed it for her even before a pregnancy test did. She'd had an abortion. * Today, this troper's English teacher was yelling at the entire class (because nobody wanted to spend all hour playing a stupid Mad Libs card game). Halfway through the rant (which got to the the point of insulting the personalities and intelligence of the entire class), one of this troper's friends, who has a medical condition where she has seizures if she gets stressed out, calmly said "Mrs. Day, you're stressing me out. I can't get stressed out. Stop talking." And Mrs. Day had to stop talking, since the school is aware of the medical condition and the teachers aren't supposed to stress her out. It rocked. ** Two years ago, when this troper's sister had that same teacher, Mrs. Day assigned the class the journal topic of "what is the biggest problem in this class?" Clearly, Mrs. Day expected the class to say that it was their behaviour. (Part of the problem was the behaviour, but most of the problem was that Mrs. Day was/is one of the worst teachers ever, with a habit of leaving in the middle of class to "get coffee", which takes her about fifteen minutes.) When it was time to read journal entries out loud, one student raised his hand and said that he volunteered to read his journal first. He stood up and read "Mrs. Day, you are the biggest problem in this class." It wasn't awesome because he was insulting the teacher. It was awesome because it was a hundred percent true. * This happened during this troper's high school's last football game of the season. We were losing horribly and everyone knew we wouldn't win (we were playing better than we had for part of the season, though, when we hadn't scored a touchdown between two games.) The opposing team's band was in the same stands as we were. We started having a battle of the bands, they would play something and we'd respond with something else. Most of the bands confessed it was the most fun they'd had in band.

* This troper's cousin had one recently. He's serving in the war and recently his unit were attacked. Now they were in a truck at this point and the cousin as driving. He was shot in the abdomen (the bullet barely missed his spine) however he shrugged it off and drove his unit to safety. Only when he got back did he collapse. He lived but that isn't the end of the story. No he REFUSED to go home once he was awake and instead served the rest of his term with his unit. Granted it was only three weeks left but still. He's still only 21 as well. * This troper once was early to one of his physics lessons and, noticing that the room he was in had reasonably stiff curtains and feeling a bit cheeky, he hid behind one of the curtains as the other students came in, expecting to be found fairly quickly, especially since the window-alcove was far too small for his 6'3" frame. However, he didn't, and remained hidden for ''almost an hour'', after which he nonchalantly strolled out, onto a table and casually asked "Not late, am I?" * This Troper once convinced his AP Bio teacher to move a test back one day... After everyone else failed to even get a response. * This troper couldn't have planned his CMOA if he'd wanted to, but he still savours the memory fifteen years later. Having Calculus and Statistics in back-to-back periods of high school? Tedious. Having the teacher tell the class at year's beginning "I don't care ''what'' you do in class, as long as you're ''quiet'' and ''don't bother me unless someone's dying''!"? Distasteful. Having a {{Jerk Jock}} sit next to this troper in Stats one day and demand "Lemme copy what you're doing" (with an implicit "or else!")? Aggravating. Watching a week later as the teacher gets up before the class, makes a speech about 'copying's okay, as long as you * learn* in the process' - then [[{{Humiliation Conga}} skewers]] said Jerk Jock for [[{{What An Idiot}} handing in a copy of my ''Calc'' assignment as his ''Stats'' homework]]? '''PRICELESS'''. ** * This troper's sister once accidentally handed in the wrong version of her French coursework - she'd also written it in runes. * This troper's grandmother, when she was 66, got diagnosed with emphysema and told by a doctor she wouldn't live to 70. She quit smoking and just celebrated her birthday last Saturday. She's ''seventy-nine''. That is not the CMOA. The CMOA is that on her 79th birthday, reminded that "didn't the doctor say you wouldn't live to 70?", said "Well yes, but until God calls me home, I see no reason to listen to some quack doctor about how long I should live." * This troper attended the airing of a live public radio program this year, and was invited to come on stage to participate in their trivia program. In it, you're paired up with a call-in partner to answer questions. In my nervousness, I let my partner answer most of the questions, and made myself look stupid for one of them (when the question dealt with the nature of a NASA space program and I was too busy trying to remember its ''name''). Then it came time for a final, double-or-nothing question. The line was dead. "Well, it's all up to you, (name)." The question was whether students at my university did more of cleaning lint from dryers or tested their smoke detectors. I answered from experience. ''And won.'' '''In front of hundreds in the

audience, and millions of listeners nation-wide.''' * On April 30, 2006, it was barely a week and a half since this troper's great-grandmother passed away. On that day (switching to first person now), I found myself at the local casino. I won $1000 and left thinking it was a good day's work, but while having lunch nearby, I kept having this feeling, like something was telling me to go back. I went back and actually lost a bit of money, but I still had about $600 in black chips (black chips are $100) and I sat down at a $15 minimum, $500 maximum blackjack table. I asked everyone if it was okay to enter, and I threw down a $100 chip. Everyone looked at me like I was nuts, but then I started winning. And winning. And winning. As the rounds played on, I steadily increased my bets from $100 to $200 to $300...I even hit a $400 blackjack, which led to massive cheering and high-fives from both the table and the small crowd that was forming behind me. I had amassed about $3000 at this point and was rolling, throwing down $500 bets and ''still'' winning. But that's not the [=CMoA=]. The [=CMoA=] occurred with this chain of events: I had a $500 bet on the table and got a pair of 3's with the dealer showing a 6. I split the 3's with another $500, and I got an 8 on the first 3 to make 11. The entire crowd went "Ooooohhhh....." as I doubled down with ''another'' $500 and got a 4. I stayed on 15 and got a king on the other 3 to make 13. I stayed on that too and the guy next to me stayed his hand as well. On the dealer's turn, she flipped over her facedown card to reveal a king. 16. Everyone was pulling for me as the dealer drew another card...''and she pulled a 6.'' As soon as that card hit the table, the entire table and crowd erupted in cheers as I started screaming, thinking I was going to faint. I stayed until the end of the shoe, and at the end, I had amassed nearly $8000, which I used to pay off my credit card, buy a laptop, and take my mom to Las Vegas. And a little postscript: A few weeks later I returned to said casino with my mom and sat down at a $25 minimum blackjack table and laid out a $20 and a $5 for a single chip. Two and a half hours later I left with $2500. Through all of this, I could feel a presence around me, guiding me and giving me a good feeling. I know for a fact that was my great-grandma. * This troper went to an award dinner for the mayor of Dallas, Texas. The choir from the nearby college of Dallas Baptist University was there, and they sang a few songs. That was one good choir, and I got tingles up my spine from listening to them. * [[Tropers/DeltaOne This Troper]] witnessed a [=CMOA=] for his group of friends. We were on a point-to-point (a kind of race) from Manchester to Edinburgh (about five hours). Our van blew out a piston ring outside Preston (twenty minutes into the race) and we resigned ourselves to defeat. Then someone pointed out that there's a train station in Preston, and There [[LoopholeAbuse isn't a rule]] against using some other method of transport. Cue five people diving aboard the express and hurtling north, sprinting across Edinburgh and reaching the rendevous (a pub, as is tradition) and making as if nothing was wrong... thirty seconds before the other team showed up. * This Troper has a couple. This Troper is now going to switch to first person. ** I am a descendant of Martin Luther- who had the balls to stand up

to the Catholic church, and form a new religion. One of my great uncles/other familial relation I do not know how to explain was a part of the plot to assassinate Hitler with a suitcase. He was the one with the suitcase. And yes, I am talking about the plot of [[Valkyrie]]. It also turns out that my Great-Grandmother was put in an internment camp for not being a good Hitler supporter (i.e. Not Gay, Jewish, Polish etc.) and my Grandmother was part of the White Rose, an Anti-Nazi spy group. *** Plus my Grandmother is just plain epic, she's survived WWII, the firebombings of Hamburg, an abusive husband, breast cancer and being hit by a bus- while in her eighties. (the bus thing, I mean). ** I got to go to Sakura-Con. While there I got to talk to ToddHaberkorn, JMichaelTatum, and AaronDismuke. I thanked ToddHaberkorn for coming, and he ''hugged'' me. ** Our class was doing AMidsummerNightsDream, and we had to break into small groups and perform pieces from it. The day we were to perform in front of the class came along, and the girl playing Bottom did not show up. I ended up having to do the part, and I actually knew most of the lines. ** My school has a thing called the "Eurasian Conference" which basically means all the school's Sophomores get together and have a meeting while pretending to be ambassadors from certain countries. India brought a radio/CD player, and "Don't Stop Believing" came on. There were about 120 people there, and about half of them started to have a dance party. 'Twas Epic. ** The last I'm going to talk about, some Tropers may already know. My school had an... Incident where this racist kid got in trouble for mouthing off racist remarks. He ended up calling his parents who showed up and proceeded to verbally abuse some African-American kids who had nothing to do with any of the fight thus far. A lot of people stood up against the racists peoples, and a huge fight insued- all against those people. You can read about it here: North- the fight http://www.kval.com/news/40389977.html * This troper and his brother were irritated with net nanny at a (jewish) community center we frequent because it's near our school, so to beat net nanny, we installed a new operating system. The staff didn't notice it for a couple of months, then one day, the computer disappeared. * This tropers father has quite a few but one of the best would have to be when he (his father) was about 12 and his cousins where visiting his family's farm. One of the cousins was a real jerk, and spent most of the visit running his mouth off and antagonizing my dad and uncles. Well, see, my Grandad bred greyhounds at the time and my dad had been taught quite a few commands one of which just happened to be a hand signal for "sic 'em". Halfway through one of the guys tirades, my dad got fed up and real subtly did the gesture, so one of the dogs (who had taken just as much crap as the other) IMMEDIATELY shot up and started charging the guy. from what I understand, he had to keep running for a good while, because everyone was laughing too hard to call the dog off. * This troper had a hamster who he put in a ball and let her run in the back yard, however one night she escaped, and unfortunately was

killed by an owl. When this happened, my dog who was accompanying the hamster, had a good deal of affection for the hamster, and right as I walked outside, [[AngryGuardDog my dog got that fucking owl.]] * This troper's father took his Dodge Ram Charger four wheeling in the California desert with some friends. At one point, all four other trucks got stuck, but the Ram made it through, then blew it's clutch and broke the rear end trying to get the others out. They switched the differentials and the Ram made it back in two wheel drive with almost no clutch, carrying ''seven guys.'' * In the interest of being tasteful, this troper will just say that his girlfriend currently owes him five "Treasure Type O"s. * A particularly mild one, but [[Tropers/QuackorTheFowl this troper]] has had a [=CMoA=] on a chatroom on the Flipnote Studio application on the Nintendo DSi. There was a person who was repeatedly changing his name on the DSi and coming back, pretending to be someone who was already there. As he came back with his original name, he said that his Internet was being a piece of crap, and he could finally get on. This troper kept asking him to stop the facade and tell the truth, but he kept denying it. Instead of admittal, he went out and changed his name to "DIEKABONG!" (His name is [[QuickDrawMcGraw "El Kabong"]] on the DSi). So after hiding twice to no avail, this is what happened afterwards, cementing my belief that I can never take anything seriously, and let it be known that I have not seen the guy since: -->'''DIEKABONG!''': NO I'M NOT GONE KABONG! GO DIE IN A HOLE -->'''Me''': (funny drawing of me in a hole) ok. -->'''DIEKABONG!''': That's a cute drawing, Kabong. If only it were reality. -->'''Me''': I can never take anything seriously. It's like my superpower. -->'''DIEKABONG!''': Kabong's superpower is being a total d** khead! -->'''Me''': You mean I have the head of Dick Clark? Why thank you! Honestly, I always thought it looked like Clark Gable! -->'''DIEKABONG!''': Forget this! I have a life other than Flipnotes! Goodbye! * leaves* -->'''Me''': (Drawing of me in a cape) Another foe vanquished! SUPER KABONG AWAYYYYY! [[CrowningMomentOfFunny * runs around making flying noises like]] {{Freakazoid}}* * My dog had one. Back when I lived in Michigan, our attic was full of [[GoddamnBats bats]]. My dad tried to get one out of the house when it left the attic. He was at the top of the stairs with a tennis raquet when the bat flew straight at him and knocked him over, almost knocking him down the stairs. The dog thought the bat was purposely trying to attack dad, so when the bat god close to the dog, the dog ''jumped five feet in the air and caught the bat in her mouth.'' She then threw the bat on the ground and stood there growling at it while the bat was having a [[HeroicBSOD Bsod]]. Did I mention that my dog was about ''seven years old?'' (That's the equivalent of 49 in human years.) ** By the way, the same dog lived to 13 years old. * I correctly guessed what disease the patient had in an episode of House, from ONE of the symptoms on a meningitis poster in a medical ward that I saw once in my life, three years before I saw the episode.

From one scene. lasting about five seconds. Not much compared to the others, but it gave me hope for a future career in medicine. * This troper seems to have a few: ** When my twin brother and I were 3-4 years old (I don't remember exactly) my dad was drunk at a party he brought us to. There was a pool in the backyard, which everyone was standing around drinking. My brother fell in at one point. Being that were were barely old enough to dress ourselves, this was a problem. I screamed at my dad (or anyone) to help him, but they did nothing except point and laugh at me while keeping their backs to the pool. I decided I had had enough of that and jumped into the pool myself to save him. I ended up dragging him out of the water and smacking his back a couple times to make sure his lungs were clear. We was OK, but has a phobia of water for 10 years or so. ** I my junior year of high school, my friends and I were heading to someone's house. There was a lot of us, so someone had to ride in the truck. I was the unlucky one. When we stopped, they thought it would be funny to leave me in there and go inside. I heard them leaving, so I found the truck release and got out. They were already gone, so I jumped over the fence into the backyard, climbed the trellis up the the second story, and entered my friend's room. I was sitting on his bed playing Halo by the time they walked in. ** I was the Phantom in my high school's production of Phantom of the Opera. That is all. ** There was a black man sitting at a bus stop with me one day. He got theidea that he could get me to give him money somehow. He tried the whole "Your race enslaved mine, can I get a dollar" routine on me. Normally, if he had just asked, I would have. However, the race card doesn't fly with me. I suddenly developed a British accent: "Well, I'm bloody sorry you had to go through that and all, but I honestly have no connection to your ancestors, and, therefore, owe you nothing. Good day, sir." The bus came as I said that, and I got on, leaving him speechless at the stop. (For the record, my family immigrated to this country roughly 100 years ago and had nothing to do with slavery.) ** It took 4 members of my high school football team 10 minutes to make me move off a chair. They ony succeeded by charging me all at once. ** Kind of a CMOF as well here: As a freshman on the football team, some of the older players thought it was their right to play a prank on me. They took some old shoelaces and tied them across and around my locker until it looked like a big messy tangle all over it. It was supposed to delay me getting into the locker and make me late for practice. They were all covertly watching me as I tried to open the locker. The door swung open with no difficulty whatsoever, and I pretended like there wasn't anything wrong. They had forgotten to actually tie the door itself TO something instead of covering it with a bunch of "web", then tying the web to the door itself. The coach called them morons and made the entire varsity team run 2 laps before they could go home. For the record (again), I didn't tell the coach. He watched it happen and was intending on punishing the team anyways. * This is a bit of a long one: [[Tropers/TennisTurtwig This Troper]] was at a birthday party with a giant playstructure, and got on the

slide. When a little kid started climbing up the slide, I parkoured my way off the slide from ''7 feet up'', grabbed onto the adjacent zipline, got off and did a somersault while throwing the stuffed Turtwig I was holding up into the air, caught the Turtwig, and for added badass, took my self-made Gunblade from the holster and stood the blade into the woodchips. And I am a complete nerd who spends about 3 hours a week outside. I am now known as Squall Turtwighart to my friends. * I know it says "one story" at the top of the page, but this troper has two [=CMoA=]s on "rebellion against questionable education". One is throwing water at a SadistTeacher he hated. Another is burning the uniform of the school he went for the second phase of his college admission (one of the worst months of my life). ''At the door of said school''. * This troper is fifteen and has seen MANY adults freak after reading the Encyclopedia Dramatica "Offended" page. I, on the other hand, did not freak out once. The only "Oh-My-God!"-ing I did was wondering how they got those freaking pictures! I actually laughed a lot while looking at it. Yes, call me a sadistic evil guy all you want, but I survived harder than anyone I know. ** [[SchmuckBait HATE YOU!! HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU SO MUCH!!]] ** In the adults' defense, a collection of the worst the Internet has to offer would be most effective on someone new to the (worst of the) Internet in general, i.e. most adults. Having a "shock" threshhold might be argued as a weakness, but it isn't a bad thing. ** [[SchmuckBait This troper]] took a look at that page and vowed to be [[HeroicBSOD a healthy, responsible human being]]. [[HighOctaneNightmareFuel Ick.]] * This troper's father is the general manager of a car dealership that has been struggling since GM revoked it's franchising. When they got the message saying they would get the franchise back then got a conflicting message saying they were not, this troper's father went on facebook and messaged the president of GM to get the facts straight. That's right, this troper's father was ballsy enough to message the PRESIDENT OF GM to find out the truth. Turns out that the guy who said they weren't back was [[CorruptCorporateExecutive talking through his ass]], and was planning on hiding the company's paperwork for their reinstatement. * [[{{Tropers/Lalalei2001}} This female Troper]] bought TheProtomen a pizza. Her dad wanted her to buy one for her internet friends that attended the show, but she saw some of them had a pizza already, so she decided to buy the Protomen one instead. She yelled it to Panther during the show, and he was all 'And we're gonna get a pizza.' So after the show, she made good on her promise. She told the bartender she was too young to drink; she just wanted the pizza. She had to wait a half hour for it to be made, however. Right as the pizza came out, the hotel's fire alarm went off and the staff told her to evacuate immediately. Not about to let the threat of total incineration stand in her way, she pushed past the convention guards who'd been annoying the con-goers all day and delivered that pizza. They were really happy about it, and Panther had 2 slices. :3 (It turned out somebody had just burnt popcorn, so [[HomestarRunner everything was fine and

nothing was ruined]].) * This Troper's parents were in a heated yet meaningless argument on the way home from the grocery store. He managed to shut them up with just four words: "Can I walk home?". * This Troper was suddenly "recruited" to restock dining supplies, one of her least favorite activities. The carts the dining services uses are old and have bad wheel bearings and tend to get stuck/go where they really shouldn't. When returning one cart, it somehow accidentally flew out of her hands(!), hit the opposite wall, rolled away... and stopped in the exact position and spot it was supposed to be in, without causing any damage to any of the surroundings. She shook her head and went to restock trays. * This troper earned a [=CMoA=] at a school Man Pageant. During the talent portion I decided I was going to do a contortion act (contortion is where a person basically folds into pretzel shapes). I went out in a GREENMAN SUIT (actually a lime green zentai) and did a four minute routine to "Only the Young" by Journey. Tricks involved arm disloacation, waist cinching, lotus + human knot, splits + leg behind head, both legs behind head, and other types of frontbending. After the talent show one of the other contestants pulls me over and in a stern tone COMMANDS I run again next year (since I didn't win but got pretty close). I felt like I was in a movie. Now that's not the real [=CMoA=]. The real [=CMoA=] comes from the fact that I did this...two years after I had two steel rods put into my spine, which should have obliterated most of my flexibility. ** This troper also has steel rods fused to her spine, and is just sort of gaping. Sir, I salute you. * This troper isn't quite sure which place to put this CMOA or even if it qualifies as one but here it is. This troper has a funny talent to avert dethroning moments of suck, even turning them into crowning moments of awesome. One example was once I was walking down a steep hill carrying a long board when some little punk on a skateboard zipped passed me so in a moment of extreme competitiveness. I rode down after him. Unbeknown to me at the time the long board I rode was notoriously bad at high speeds (it was my flat mate's) and when I was about half way down it wobbled and suddenly flew out from under my feet. I fell back but before I hit the ground I smashed my elbows onto the tarmac and somehow propelled myself into a agile forward roll which was finished into a crouch. Just in time to see my board collide into a wall. I only got a slight graze on my shoulder and I was going quite fast. I then got up nonchalantly and walked down the hill to retrieve my board, it took me a few seconds to realize that everyone of my fellow pedestrians around were frozen and staring at me in abstract shock. But heres the clincher I did that when wearing a huge bag on my shoulders which weighed at least eight kilos and it was full of squash-able food items and somehow they came out of it completely, utterly intact. * Remember that teacher from SadistTeacher and the above troper with Asperger's Syndrome? He's not very tech-savvy. Safe to say this troper is. He was having trouble with his email program. He had to swallow his pride and call me over to fix it, but had enough [[WhatAnIdiot audacity]] to say "If you can't do it, don't bother." After examining

the screen for ten seconds, I grabbed the email window's title bar and dragged it back over. He could not figure out how to close the program. ** Yet ANOTHER computer issue, this one a bit more awesome. Our school network somehow got infected by a virus. The computers typically were under heavy student-proof security lockdown that kept us from accessing Program Files and the registry. This virus managed to disable a lot of the security. I informed my programming teacher of the virus and she immediately left to get the school IT guy. Left alone with the computers, I managed to use the security holes made by the virus to detect and remove every trace of it by hand. This meant deleting registry keys, files, etc. by myself. By the time the IT guy got here, the virus was completely gone. I heard my teacher talking to him about the virus as they walked in. I interjected with "What virus?" * This troper is normally a pretty cautious driver and has always treated any parking lot, vacant or not, like they were miniature roads. Well. One night, my friend and I were following a couple of our other friends to the store, and our other friends were tearing through the parking lot (which was mostly empty) with careless abandon. I said to my friend, "S may drive recklessly through parking lots, but..." Cue the little devil on my shoulder. "SO... DO... WE!" Then I drove straight through several lanes of parking spots at 35 MPH with my friend going, "WOOHOO!" And it was AWESOME. * This isn't a [=CMoA=] for me, but rather for my step-grandad. I only found out recently that my stepmother's family didn't so much "leave" South Africa as were chased out, on pain of being arrested/shot/never seen again, because my step-grandad didn't support the aparteid regime and actually paid his black servants a decent wage. This, apparantly, was "inciting riot". Oh, and he was present as a (white) protester at the Sharpeville Massacre, and attempted to drive several wounded black people to the hospital - I say attempted, because they turned him away at the door. All this meant my step-mother's house was bugged and under 24-hour surveillance, and when they went on holiday one time were met with a hysterical phonecall by a neighbour who told them "Don't come back, the police are in your house!" Obviously, having to flee the country and ending up in Britain with just one suitcase of holiday clothes each is not the [=CMoA=]: that came three years ago, when my step-grandad went back to non-aparteid South Africa in order to pick up an (unrelated) award at a psychology conference. Apparantly he walked through customs with a gigantic grin on his face and said just two words: "I'm back." * [[Tropers/MistaSmegheneghan This Troper]] had a [=CMoA=] a year ago when going to a Pokmon event by bus. The morning was taken up with heading into north Wales for job stuff, and after arriving back in town and getting stuff in order, I caught the bus that would take me to the Pokmon event to get a Shaymin. All was going well until I got to the second connection in town, since I got the directions, but hadn't found out where I was meant to go and ended up over-shooting by quite a fair distance. After a slight panic and another bus ticket, I had written the event off as missed since the closing time of the event was 5 and it was quarter to 5. Once I was back in town, I start

walking up to the next bus stop, with a raw (and bleeding by the end of the day) heel thanks to new shoes, when I saw the shop I was aiming for. I power-walked down to the shop, powering up my DS and ignoring the pain in my heel and on reaching the GAME shop, I asked if they were still running the event. They said that they were going to close the event up in a few minutes. I ended up getting there in the nick of time, even getting congratulations from one of the staff. He was even kind enough to let me get the Shaymin on my sisters' game carts as well. * This troper recently (A few weeks ago) got into a....little fight with his longtime nemesis, last day of (high)school, he may not be coming(droping out, my nemesis, not me) back, revenge bluh bluh merger childish things. He decides to come at me with a meter stick with a rather intimidating war cry. I merely tilt my head ever so slightly and plunk, it hits the wall behind my head, visibly dumbfounded he then attempts to slash me. Big mistake, my headphones got unplugged from my Ipod touch, and my favorite song was just beginning. Nightwish's song [[CrowningMusic/{{Nightwish}} she is my sin]] and so begins my epic battle, he keeps slashing and lunging at me all while I dodge his blows and strokes. He attempts another headshot but I deftly grabbed it from him, he fell face first onto the floor, then I said one of my favorite [[BadassBoast badass boasts]] almost immediately afterword [[FinalFantasyVIIAdventChildren "On your knees...I want you to beg for forgiveness."]] my class's resident Video game gerd (Her own word she made, a combination of geek and nerd, she calls herself this all the time) said almost YELLING "Holy SHIT dude! That was awesome!" unfortunately his Girlfriend didnt think so, and tossed him the other meter stick and said "Kick that little snot into next year!"(Even though im taller then him he's like 5'4 im 5'7) and we exchanged blows which was eerily similar to aboved mentioned Final Fantasy movie, I then disarmed him and then said, "I hold no ill will, nor is this a personal matter, but thanks for the workout non-the less." He simply bowed his head in shame, his girlfriend having pure spasms of RAGE, chiding him that he couldn't beat a video game playing ultimate geek face(highly immature for a 16 year old girl I know), but I couldn't here them over the applause I was getting from the other geeks and my fellow peers, my teacher ( a substitute) woke up from her nap and simply said "what did I miss?" we all (except for my nemesis and his GF) begun laughing uncontrollably for a few minutes. I deadpanned afterwords "Nothing at all ma'am, just having some fun, listening to music, drawing, epic one sided battles..." She shrugged and went back to sleep. * This Troper is in an online gaming clan. There was a member who had recently became inactive, and seemed depressed when he was online. No one in the clan was helping him, and just was letting him get through it on his own. This Troper and the member rarely talked unless it was in meetings, but I decided to ask him what was happening. Turns out he was having girl issues, and was thinking about ending it all. This took place over at least an hour, with this Troper focusing all his attention on the member and contributing ideas to get through his situation. The next day I get a message from him, and can immediately tell he's happier. I ask him if he took my advice, which he did, and

thanks me for it. Basically, I managed to talk a guy out of suicide and get his life straight with only text. To this day, me and him are still friends. * [[{{Tropers/TreeShark}} This Troper]], after receiving a particularly difficult assignment in Spanish 3, quietly remarked to his friend, "At least in 2 months this class will have no bearing on our lives." But my teacher, a mean old lady with a fairly cold demeanor towards the less intelligent of the class, heard me and froze. The class got completely silent and she asked me to repeat what I said. I was caught off guard, and although I had a chance for a tactful cover-up I repeated it, word for word, loud and clear. Before that, I had been one of her favorite students, mainly because I was smart and quiet and she couldn't read my mind. But she pretty much lost it after that. She started madly assigning homework from throughout the chapter, and told us we had 2 days to write a 30sentence, major-grade essay in Spanish. When I got home that day, I wrote her a letter(in English) protesting the work she had given us to do, knowing that my classmates were going to suffer for it. I told her that I was not apologizing, [[{{Large Ham}} that my statement represented our only source of hope in a required class where we were all just fighting for grades on our report cards, that punishments like that made the whole experience seem that much more]] [[{{Crapsack World}} empty and desperate.]] I left it on her desk the next day. She didn't take a grade on the essays, and a couple days later she apologized to the whole class for the way she had treated us. [[{{Crowning Moment Of Heartwarming}} It turned out she had been acting irritable to hide her grieving for her recently-dead mother, and she pretty much let it all out, crying in front of us.]] We forgave her. * [[@/{{TehNubkilr}} This troper]] once hiked the 10 km from the university to his house when the bus broke down, during a snowstorm, without any winter gear whatsoever, as said gear was lent to another girl who had no winter clothing that day. I was going against the wind in whiteout conditions with no cover from the landscape at minus 20 Celsius. I managed to arrive home two hours after I left the university, noted that the rest of my family was stuck and traffic, and began making dinner. Interestingly enough, I did not get hypothermia. * While playing a card game, another [[JerkAss player]] challenged my knowledge of the game. 5 rounds in, he was out and I was in the quarter-finals. A small footnote, he also had to shell out five pounds to someone else who had lost, who bet him he would win. Everyone commended me on my playing, and I continued with my day satisfied. * I swear all the time, all the fucking time, so a PrecisionFStrike is what I usually use to show I am feeling the highs or lows of an emotion, but I avoided cursing this one time, and it sticks out clearly in my head: I was holding one of those children horse-headson-sticks toys, that made trotting and neighing noises when it's ear was pressed and had the appearance of a pink unicorn, I was in the process of returning it to the 3 year old owner of the toy, and at the same time I was feeling particularly down due to the girl I had been courting moving away soon, a friend came over to comfort me, and after

her pep talk, I was scared my voice would croak if I swore to show my sadness, so instead of showing my grief via profanities, I instead pressed the Unicorn's ear, I was stood with the world's biggest frown, holding a loudly neighing pink unicorn. A personal [=CMoA=], a [[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming CMoH]] for my friend showing compassion and a [[CrowningMomentOfFunny CMoF]], judging by my friend's reaction to my sad clown antics. I named the Unicorn 'Princess'. * This troper is occasionally bullied by poeple from the year below. Somehow, he has made friends with every single person in his year, friends loyal enough to tackle/drag away the bully,while I laugh maniacally. * This troper (currently known as I) was standing outside the hall where her school year was about about to take their Maths GCSE in about five minutes. Since maths is not my strong suit I was reading some problems in a text book at the last minute, while a large grop of lads were coping with nerves by kicking a football around. Now, whether they did it on purpose I don't know, but I happened to look up out of the corner of my eye and saw a very fast movement heading towards me. Since I'd perfected the art of reading while walking (keep one eye on the page, one eye on your feet), I stuck my foot out partly from instinct and partly for the heck of it, not expecting to make contact; but in fact I DID. Thus the relatively oddball girl who all the boys liked to tease to get a rise out of booted the thing over everyone's heads to touch down a fair distance away, ''without even looking up from her book.'' The shocked silence? Priceless. * Minor compared to many of these, but this troper considers making [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvnIXGV4rDQ this horror tribute]] a personal cmoa * Minor, but still kinda impressive when you consider I have nerves like paper. At a school fair, a guy took a ticket out of the tomboula, placed it on someones shoulder and said that, if I drew that ticket, I could get laid with that guy (I'm not gay). My response? Say directly (fairly loudly) to him, in front of four of the hottest girls in my year (of whom I had crushs on three of them), "I am not gay, I'm straight." Then I purchased some tickets for the tomboula, as if nothing had happened. Becomes a little bit Crowning Monent Of Funny when I realised, about a month later, that I am asexual. So, we were both wrong. * This troper participated in a paintball game where me and my team were simply mooks going up against a team of Nigh-Invulnerable Cold Snipers. The CMOA came when me and my two friends (the last survivors) charged screaming at the top of our lungs while firing from the hip straight at the enemy line and ACTUALLY MANAGED TO PIN THEM DOWN. Across muddy ground. When it was 27 degrees. Out in the open. We were gunned down in the end, but it was GLORIOUS. * This troper has combined a CrowningMomentOfAwesome with a ShutUpHannibal and TheReasonYouSuckSpeech. She has always been bullied, but recently, due to joint problems, she has had the shit bullied out of her by ''this one girl''. She sent this girl an E-Mail, which read:\\ ''I hate my school. Really hate it. I've been there eleven years next term, but I DESPISE it. Apparently, one of the (many) little loopholes

in the rules is that I'm not allowed to have a sore ankle. Since I have iffy joints (and dont go denying it, Emily. YOU are not the one who has a load of damage to every bloody joint on her body), I often have a sore ankle (a couple of weeks ago I had a sore knee, which you should remember because you were the one making fun of me about it; dont deny it, and I actually couldn't bend it. I was in a murderous sort of mood that week, and people (YOU) still crossed me with the old "limping incorrectly" thing. I can tell you that it was not pretty).\\ \\ For reference, the definition for disability is as follows\\ Disabilities is an umbrella term, covering impairments, activity limitations, and participation restrictions. An impairment is a problem in body function or structure; an activity limitation is a difficulty encountered by an individual in executing a task or action; while a participation restriction is a problem experienced by an individual in involvement in life situations. Thus disability is a complex phenomenon, reflecting an interaction between features of a persons body and features of the society in which he or she lives. \\ \\ Another thing is that I limp naturally now. I am likely to not be able to watch without crutches by the time I'm 17 years old. By the time I'm 21, I'm likely to be in a wheelchair part of the time. By 24, it's permanent. Oh, it's a wonderful old word, isn't it? (The answer is, of course, NO.)\\ \\ At the moment, I have to wear special boots which stop my ankles from flopping about quite so much. The doctor doesn't think joint-braces will help, so I don't wear them. Nothing I can do about my wrists (which do the old touch-the-forearm-with-the-thumb party-trick. Incidentally, my thumbs bend back to sit just below the knuckles) or my knees, which constantly bend backwards which hurts a lot, as you can probably guess...\\ \\ Oh, I assume you want to know WHY Im writing you a ranty E-Mail when there are 1,000,001 other things to be doing at this hour of the morning:\\ \\ I hope that you have heard the term The final straw broke the camels back. If you havent, it means, in my terms, If you keep piling insults on to a person, some time or other, theyre gonna throw it all back in your face. And it aint gonna be pretty. Up until now, I have been doing this through my writing.\\ \\ Daddy says Goth jewellery is tacky. Only Diamonds and Pearls and Precious Stones for me, [Alex] said.\\ \\ Well, Daddy can say what he wants, I said. This is NOT Goth jewellery. Theyre Iron Crosses. I snatched the bracelet back and handed her the mop. And since its you who made the mess, its you who can clean the floor again, I added, going over to the door, putting my bracelet back on and pulling my boots back on under my

jeans. Im going to my room, I added.\\ \\ OUR room, Alex corrected. And Daddy says that house-work is for Common People, she added, giving the mop to Robin. So you can mop, she said.\\ \\ Youve heard the term The Final Straw Broke the Camels back, right? Well, thats exactly what happened just then. I already didnt like Alex for upsetting Rook, who was still watching me sleepily, and she seemed like a real bitch, in every sense of the word.\\ \\ Are you implying that hes COMMON? I hissed at her, taking the bucket of dirty water and tipping it over her head. She veritably shrieked. And you. Can. Clean. Up, I added coldly. Fill up the water yourself. Just as I spoke, Shellie pulled up. She opened the door, and tried to coax whoever was inside in to coming out. I went to investigate who it was, and Rook followed me. Robin walked in to the next room, leaving Alex to clean up. I probably should have told him to oversee, but I couldnt be bothered.\\ \\ Yes, I KNOW that was fictional, and I KNOW that Im not a Goth, and I also KNOW that you arent quite as obnoxious as Alex (although, that scene was pretty good fun to write).\\ \\ Well, that isnt my point.\\ \\ You remember making fun of me hen I had a bad knee and therefore couldnt do Sports Day, right?\\ \\ Well, if you dont, I sure do\\ \\ That is the whole purpose of this E-Mail. To make sure you DO remember.\\ \\ I know I seemed to take offense at the time,\\ \\ This is how you limp (Extremely over-the-top limping, switching off foot every few steps.)\\ \\ Well, I have decided I have let that slide.\\ \\ You have insulted me SO MANY BLOODY TIMES, and it JUST ISNT FUNNY. I GENUINELY have bad joints, and, as ANYONE who has been insulted by someone who thinks they know best will tell you,\\ \\ YOU ARE INCORRECT!!\\ \\ Once again, Im gonna reference some writing:\\ \\ 'What did I tell you about coming in here?! I snapped. [Alex] looked up at me.\\ \\

Hi, Clay, she said, her lip curling as she said my name. Only then did I notice the fact that my favorite Shell Flute that Id got in Barbados when my Mother had taken me there, was on HER bed.\\ \\ I quite like your Flute, by-the-way. Except it sounds AWFUL. Maybe you could demonstrate how to play it? she said. I glared at her.\\ \\ What did you do to Gray, you BITCH?! I yelled, taking the flute and running it under the tap in the bathroom. Alex followed me in there.\\ \\ What, that loser? I pushed him down, yeah, she said.\\ \\ What the hell?! I said angrily. You dont know the technicalities of this place, do you?! I asked. Of course, youll now have the remaining two brothers after your blood, I added, blowing softly in to the flute to create a mysterious sound and quietly playing Ride On by Celtic Panpipes. I put it around my neck, a look of contentment and evil crossing on to my face as the door opened to reveal a ratherangry Edward and Riley. Speak of the Devils, I said.\\ \\ My point HERE is that my sort of people club together: me and my friend in Year 11 are on the same side: neither of us like Sport for reasons beyond our control, and so, if one of us is insulted, the other will step in for them. I know, I know, that didnt happen that one time, but thats because I didnt tell her, because it would seem stupid.\\ \\ Well, my dear creature, I have had it up to here with you. If you insult me ONE MORE TIME, I will NOT be accountable for my actions.\\ \\ Youve had your warning.\\ \\ I would advise you to HEED IT.'' ** Hell. Fucking. Yes. * I like playing a "Top-This" Game with a pal. Keep in mind this is all pretend. One time, he Shot at me with a shotgun. I dodged. Once it ran out of bullets, he gave it to me. He pulled out this {{BFG}}, supposedly from {{Halo}}. What do I do? Hit him on the head with my ammoless gun. I win. * During my senior year in high school, I went during the charity drive to see the Harlem Wizards play against our team. During the game I danced a bit. You know, a bit of YMCA and got a bunch of people to start clapping during "Party in the USA". After the game, literally, three girls came up to me and told me they saw me dancing and thought I was cool and one kid asked me to autograph his squishy basketball. * Last summer, I flew down south to visit my boyfriend, and had a wonderful time. I was really bummed out by the idea of coming back home, but it couldn't be helped. As I stood waiting in the baggage claim area back home, some of the luggage caused a jam coming onto the carousel. Everybody shifted impatiently, waiting for it to be fixed, when one of the other passengers jumped up to where the jam was, and freed the luggage, tossing down a few pieces. One of the American

Airlines employees then came on over the PA system and basically told us to stay off the carousel and leave it up to an employee. So the guy jumps back down, and the damn thing jams again. We wait, and nobody comes to fix the problem, so this same man jumps up to fix it himself again. Here's where it gets really awesome: I start clapping. Not wild, enthusiastic clapping or anything, but then the guy next to me joins in. And the people next to him, and the people next to them, so on and so forth until everyone waiting at that particular carousel was clapping along with me. I unintentionally, started a slow clap, and I have never forgotten just how amazing a feeling it was. ** Bonus: The same AA employee came on over the PA again and said "You shouldn't be encouraging this type of behavior." * This one applies to this Troper's whole family. Last year we went on holiday to Los Angeles, and on the flight back to London, we only narrowly avoided the Icelandic ash cloud and were among the last few people to arrive at Heathrow before British airspace was closed. That's cool in itself, but then it turned out our car's engine had stalled and we couldn't drive back. So what do we do? We flag a cab a proper black taxi - get all our luggage in the back with us, about two pieces of baggage per person (and there were four of us), and ride all the way back home, which is about an hour away from the airport. And we did it without losing our minds, even if it was pretty damn expensive - though the driver did give us a discount. * This troper was in health class, and was getting annoyed with the DoubleStandard in our [[YouFailSexEdForever Sex Ed unit]]. We had a guest instructor come in to talk to us about rape, and one of the things they tried was having the entire class stand up and move to one side of the classroom if they believed "rape could be the woman's fault," (Her exact words) and stand on the other side if they believed it couldn't. Everyone in the class moved onto the side of "Rape is never the woman's fault" (because we'd just been told that "The woman is never responsible for rape"), except for this troper. When asked why, my only comment was, "[[ExactWords Girls]] [[RapeIsOkayWhenItsFemaleOnMale can rape]] [[UnfortunateImplications people too]]."

MismatchedEyes * This troper has complete heterchromia iridis, with a blue right eye and a green left eye. What's interesting is that he thought that everyone had eyes like him (his mother and father both have it as well, it's what brought them together) until his first day of kindergarten. * This green-eyed troper has something like the yellow sunburst around his pupil like others on this page. He thinks it looks a lot like the pattern that light reflected off water has. * This troper thinks his best friend ( and former crush ) has central heterochromia. She has a pair of piercing GreenEyes and around the pupil they have a [[{{EyesofGold}} golden ring]] that makes people stare at them even more. So, yeah, as if she wasn't hot already, she has the [[{{WhatBeautifulEyes}} most beautiful eyes I ever seen]]. Thank God [[{{BlatantLies}} I'm over my obsessive crush on her]] or

I'd be staring at her eyes the whole day. Or I can just stare at the [[{{StalkerWithaCrush}} secret pictures I have of her]] and she won't suspect that her [[{{UnluckyChildhoodFriend}} best friend]] still loves her. * [[Tropers/GeneralKrad This troper's]] left is a green, and right eye blue. My little brother has the opposite pairing with a blue left eye and a green right eye. * This Troper has central heterochromia - her eyes have a [[{{EyesofGold}} flare of gold]] around the pupil, and are blue (or green in dull light) on the outside. Interestingly enough, this troper has had people say to her, "Oh wow, your eyes look like an eclipse!" * This contributor's high school biology teacher had one blue eye and one green eye. He took great pleasure in telling us how they ''used'' to match until he had to get one removed and replaced. ** Please tell me it was a ''fake'' eye. Otherwise... well, [[YouFailBiologyForever you know]]... ** I think the point was that the teacher made that story up, although it could have been a glass eye. *** This Troper's uncle had to get an eye replaced in emergency surgery. It is possible to get an eye transplant, but your depth perception is pretty much gone, and the eye colour may or may not match (depending on the donor's colour). Maybe that's what the teacher was referring to? ** As far as ThisTroper knows, the brain can generate depth perception even from only one image... he heard the "one eye" thing was only an urban legend. *** This troper sometimes walks around with one eye closed due to stuff getting in it and bothering it, and has worn a costume eyepatch multiple times with almost perfect depth perception and would have to agree that it either [[YourMileageMayVary varies from person to person]] or the "one eye thing" is indeed an urban legend. We should get the [[MythBusters MythBusters]] to test it... *** Depends. There are several depth cues, some of which require two eyes and others of which do not; in particular, someone losing one eye always loses depth perception from stereopsis, which can dominate at short distances. Cues from motion parallax, apparent size, and focus remain. *** Right. Having only one eye decreases depth perception, but your eyes are pretty amazing machines. It also decreases field of vision etc., but you can live with just one eye. It does make 3D movies useless however. *** This troper always feels bad when paying more to watch a 3D movie with friends, because my lazy eye makes it hard to see the 3D effect, but if I try really hard I can get both eyes to focus at once. This can get pretty tiring though. Also, when I play volleyball and other sports in the gym, I almost always either miss the ball entirely or get hit in the face. On the topic of heterochromia, my eyes are mostly grey-blue, but have this pretty little yellow sunburst pattern around my pupil. Most of the time. Sometimes it goes away during the summer and they turn a little more blue than grey... ** Happened to this troper's grandmother, although they matched almost perfectly.

* This editor had a math teacher in high school that had a different kind of heterochromia which made her left eye diagonally split in the middle with a green half and a brown half, while her other eye was completely brown, giving her a Bond Villain-esque appearance. Bizarrely, this editor was the only one in the class to notice. ** Intriguing. This is called sectoral heterochromia, I believe. It's a bit rarer than the regular. *** This tropers brother has a form of that, Both eyes split into a total of three colors with the middle portions being blue and the left being half green, the right being half hazel. * Bicolored irises and Heterochromia are actually relatively common among hazel-eyed people, since hazel is just a mix of brown and green pigments anyway. It is rare for the difference to be striking enough to be noticeable at conversational distances. ** This troper knew a person who had an half-green,half-''yellow'' eye alongside with a normal green eye. Given that he was one of the funniest people he ever met he always wondered if his eyes were just a side-effect of how crazy he was. * This troper had a coworker who developed temporary heterochromia while being treated for a brain tumor. His eye eventually regained its normal color. ** Similar story for [[{{Tk4l}} This troper]], at his old day camp, a CIT had one brown eye and one blue eye, and explained that it developed after getting a brain tumor removed. * This troper's mom has blue eyes, but one eye has an interesting splash of brown in it. Her brothers and sisters all have it too. ** This troper also has that, but she's the only person she knows with it. * [[{{Atagamay}} This troper]]'s biology professor has a significant other with a brown eye and a blue eye. * My middle school principal had one blue eye and one brown. Rumor had it that he had an eye injury involving a paperclip fire from a rubber band. Now this was after shooting paperclips was explicitly banned, so it might have been just a rumor. * This troper, being a Catholic, was at confession and managed to get the priest who had one eye that was blue with a sliver of green in it and one brown eye. It's really hard to confess your sins seriously when you're looking at possibly one of the coolest pairs of eyes ever. * This Troper has one brown eye and one that's half-brown half-hazel, split vertically down the middle. * This troper's younger cousin has this, with one hazel/green and one brown eye. She hates them, but I rather like the effect. * This troper has a cat who has one green and one blue eye. ** Actually this kind of thing is common among animals, especially calico manx cats & huskies * This Troper's friend at highschool has one blue eye and one eye that is half blue half brown that's roughly vertical. It's tilted to the right somewhat. * This Troper gets Sting's ''Valparaiso'' stuck in his head every time someone talks about MismatchedEyes--or, nowadays, when he sees a heterochromic cat. It's a little vexing. * This Troper knew someone once, and it took her '''''seven years'''''

to realize that this person had one blue eye and one green eye. ** I'm not surprised. No one ever notices this troper's obviously bicolored irises either. ** It took one of my ex-boyfriends three weeks before he noticed the bicolored irises. It's a weirdly UnusuallyUninterestingSight. * Both my eyes are brown, though one has blue along the bottom and half way up it and the other has the same effect with green. ** I believe that mixtures of green and brown or blue and brown in the iris are referred to as hazel, not brown. * This troper's boyfriend has one eye brown, and the other eye have splotches of blue in it. He [[PeekABangs covers it up with his hair, though]] so as not to scare other people. This troper finds it sexy. * This troper, for a cosplay, tried to put on different-colored contacts. He gave up, due to him being scared shitless of putting things in his eyes. * This troper's pet rabbit has eyes kind of like this. Except it's not one blue eye and one brown eye, it's both eyes having splotches of both colors. * This troper's friend has one blue eye and one half-brown, half-blue eye. Would you believe me if I said the colours were divided into quarters - going brown-blue-brown-blue around the iris? ** Do they spin? *** This Troper knows someone like that, too. She has one blue eye and one eye that's brown and blue, with a pattern to it that looks like the Radiation symbol. It's really neat-looking. * [[ShiTan This troper]] used to have gray eyes in elementary school. Although it wasn't really two different colors, one eye was a sort of charcoal color, while the other was an almost-white silver. For some reason, they eventually turned green, and are the same shade now. (If you look closely, though, one of them has several [[EyesOfGold yellow lines]] in it.) * This troper has a green left eye and a blue right eye, which he thinks is somehow related to having a problem with his left eye's eyesight. * I sometimes look like I have MismatchedEyes, but it depends on the light. Apparently, under dim light, one of my eyes looks yellow, while the other looks green. * This troper, who occasionally fosters puppies, once took care of this ''adorable'' little German Shepherd/Husky mix with one brown eye and one blue eye. * This troper has mostly grey eyes with little slivers of green here and there. And then my right eye has a random splotch of brown. But if you ask someone what they think my eye colour is, they will ''always'' say 'blue' unless the lighting is good. Yeah, I don't even know. * This might seem a weird thing to mention, but a horse at the riding stables this troper visits has natural MismatchedEyes (the brown/blue combo) and they are positively beautiful. Especially since the blue eye looks exactly like a sky with lots of fluffy white clouds in it, and the brown eye looks like mahogany, and both are particularly large. * This troper has central heterochromia in his eyes: Both eyes have an inner ring of yellow-green/gold surrounding the pupils, and an outer

ring of silver/silver-blue, the two seperated by a smaller middle ring of a darker silver/silver-blue. Also, I have been told by multiple girls at my school that my eyes are sexy. * It took this troper's best friend eight years to realise that I had sectoral heterochromia (blue eyes with a large splodge of brown at the top of my left eye) * [[{{Tk4l}} This troper]]'s best friend has some weird thing where his eyes actually change color. They're never to extremities, but its quite unnerving to see your friend in class with blue eyes, then the next day at lunch, his eyes are hazel. ** This sounds like it is not a heterochromia-related condition; it's more closely related to the way the eyes reflect light. Whether the light is natural or artificial, time of day, atmospheric conditions, clothing and eye makeup, as well as the muscles within the eye and the facial muscles, can all change the way light is reflected. This is why this troper has a friend whose eyes are very pale green (almost yellow) normally, but turn to a dark ''emerald green'' when he's angry or stressed. * This troper's friend's cousin has a husky/wolf mix who has one blue eye and one brown eye that is so dark it seems black. * This troper once acted in a version of [[{{Macbeth}} The Scottish Play]] where the murderer had one blue eye and one brown eye. It added to the effect nicely. * I've been told I have unusual eyes, but they're closer to KaleidoscopeEyes. The outer most ring is blue, while the insides are almost tortoise shell patterned with green and gold. I was born with blue eyes that changed when I entered high school. Depending on my mood they can be completely blue, green, gold, or tortose shell as a default and this has been proven to me by friends and family. * This troper has a friend with a twin sister. Both of them have heterochromia as a result. This troper was the quickest to notice her friend's eyes were different: one blue, one blue and brown. She noticed it on the very first day she met him, because she has a habit of looking at people's eyes when she speaks with them. She also thinks Matt has some of the prettiest eyes she's ever seen, even if told that her eyes are pretty cool (they're not mismatched, no, but they've got a [[RedEyesTakeWarning red tint]]. But no worries, this troper likes to think she's a nice person). * This Troper's family has a tendency to have an additional growth spurt later in life. She has it at 18, during which she grew an inch and a half and one of her previously light blue eyes turned noticeably navy blue. Apparently, eye colours can change during hormonal changes. It never changed back. She just tells people she was hit in the face with the same bar stool as David Bowie. * {{Dwessie}} WAS born with two, matching blue eyes, but one had a cataract, then they tried to do eye surgery on it, and it failed (Only Old people get them apparently and nobody has any idea what to do with a screwed up newborn!) so they tried another eye surgery to fix it. Not only did it ruin my vision in my left eye forever with no way to fix it, but it turned it brownish-green with no pupil. That's probably the only plus side. ALSO! The one eye thing is true for me. My depth

perception is nonexistant, and they cant fix me. * This troper has something that's been mentioned a lot here: one blue eye, one blue and brown. It took most of her friends at least three years to notice, but it's occasionally noticed by random strangers. * Not ''exactly'' different coloured eyes, but ThisTroper has different coloured ''eyelashes'': one set blonde, the other brown. ** [[Tropers/{{Shadowofthepen}} This troper]] has a similar thing, her right eyebrow and eyelashes are blonde and she has a blonde streak on the same side, they are darkening slowly with age but still pretty obvious when sun bleached in the summer. * [[Tropers/{{Nemica}} This troper]] has blue eyes, but a sector of the right one is brown. According to Wikipedia much rarer than the total version. [[MarySue AAAH!]] ** This troper has this too. Her eyes are green except for a neat little slice of the right iris which is dark brown. * This Troper has one gray eye and one brown one. It's not something I'm thrilled about, but I've found that once elementary school was over people abruptly stopped caring. * This troper's right eye is a very dark brown, and my left is mostly dark but with splodges of a lighter brown that's almost orange in strong light. Far more noticeable in photographs than most situations in RealLife, though bright sunlight tends to make it pretty obvious. * [[Tropers/KamuiValentine This Troper]] has a green right eye and a blue left eye and also had a student with a brown right eye and a hazel left eye. * [[Tropers/ElegantVamp This troper]] has a brown right eye, and a gold left eye. It's really noticable in the light, or if you look really closely. One of my classmates told me I had "Edward Colored" eyes... * This troper has one pale, bright blue eye (which doesn't fit his race) and one plain brown eye. The ear that's on the same side as his blue eye is partially deaf. This is the same case with odd-eyed white cats (I also have a SkunkStripe), so the cat experts in my school like to joke about it. Just call me [[CatGirl Cat Guy]]. * One day, a dog wandered onto This Troper's front lawn. He had one brown eye and one blue eye. * Many of my family members have shades of this, and it makes their eyes look incredible. I also have a slight version of this, as nobody can tell what the hell color my eyes are, including myself. They're either green, brown, hazel, a mix of two or more, or something completely different. * This troper was born with one blue eye and one brown eye. Apparently, this is quite normal for babies. This troper currently has greyish-blue eyes. * This troper's eyes are green, but around the rim of the iris, it's gold. There's also some visible blue. I get a lot of comments from people about that. * My cousin has one brown eye and one blue eye. * I used to know a girl who technically speaking had one green eye and one blue eye, but her eyes were so light that she almost looked like bolth of her eyes were white. * This troper's right eye is very obviously green, while her left eye

is blue-gray. Normally she covers the blue eye with her hair. The color difference is especially noticeable if she has been cryingbecause then the green eye looks about the color of a green jelly-bean and the blue-gray eye looks exceptionally bright blue. Her friends say her eyes can't decide what color to be so they just mind-f**k everyone by changing all the time. And while that doesn't make any sense whatsoever, this troper finds it very amusing. * This troper's brother has sectoral heterochromia. His eyes are blue, but a quarter of his right eye is gold. Not brown, not yellow, but actually legitimate gold. Not many people notice, but when they do they're just amazed by how unusual--and even beautiful--it is. * One of this troper's characters has this, one green eye and one purple eye (the idea for which I got from a FauxtivationalPoster). She hates how different this makes her, and as a result, uses her hair to cover the purple eye. * This troper has a two brown eyes, but one has a large spot of green in it, making it look hazel. On several occasions, people she's known for years have randomly pointed out, "Hey! Your eyes are different!" It's amusing. ---''Back to MismatchedEyes'' ----

MisplacedKindergartenTeacher * This Troper had a situation with a temporary teacher in her High School. The first words that we heard from her was ' hello there, dearies' spoken in an annoying high pitched voice. You can imagine the reaction. Although the best part was when she called a 'dearie' the head Metalhead of the class, who was about two heads taller than her. His expression was priceless. * This troper's Grade Five teacher was a MisplacedKindergartenTeacher / SadistTeacher. This meant when she wasn't making her students cry, she was being over-the-top nice and babyish. What made it scarier was the fact she could switch between those personalities at the drop of a hat, in around the space of three seconds. ** I had a pre-algebra teacher exactly like this at the beginning she said "And remember all that matters is your effort, if you at least try you will surely succeed" and then because of her teaching methods (primarily reading story books) we all failed the test so she cussed us out "If you give me any more of this **** then I'll be so **** I'm so disappointed in you worthless parasites taking advantage of my class and not paying attention, and I cant believe someone forgot to bring a pencil I'm getting my masters and buying a house and teaching you idiots, and even I have enough time to bring a **** pencil for a test". Then I had my mom call and she gave my mom the spiel about how if I was having difficulties then she would be very supporting and I could come in whenever she wanted. Her dual personality continued for the rest of the year ** ...By any chance, did this teacher later become a high school teacher at my school? It sure sounds like her. ** Or was a sub I had for five months in fourth-grade? She actually

became a fifth-grade teacher the next year... *** Maybe she was a real life version of [[Characters/HarryPotter Professor Umbridge]]? * My Biology teacher. 'And these little sausages are called ''mitochondria''...now, I know that's a long word. Shall I write it on the board for you all?' ** Actually, just every science teacher I've ever had, especially in GCSE (this troper lives in Britain.) Standard conversation, about three times every lesson, is: --> '''Teacher:''' Okay, any questions? --> '''Student A:''' Why does X happen? --> '''Teacher:''' You don't need to know that at GCSE level. Any other questions? --> '''Student B:''' Are we going to have to know this for the exam? --> '''Teacher:''' No, it will be given to you in the exam at GCSE level. Any other questions? --> '''Student C:''' How does X do X? --> '''Teacher:''' You don't need to know that at GCSE level. --> '''Me:''' ([[AsideGlance speaking to camera]]): You have to wonder why we bother to ask questions. * One troper's chemistry teacher in high school treated all of her non AP (advanced placement) students like kindergartners. What bugged the troper the most, however, was that there were people in there that thought she was the best teacher ever. What does this say about the American education system? ** That the students prefer a teacher who is nice to them to a teacher who is strict with them? ** No, that the students prefer a teacher that doesn't actually teach them anything. * This troper had a student science teacher who actually asked our class, the top set in a prestigous girls' grammar school (During Yr 10), in her most baby-ish voice: What's the opposite of hot? and What is a thermometer for? - Yeah the student teacher who would patronise three year olds got a job at the school. * One anonymous troper had a "career planning" teacher who not only spoke to their class in baby-talk, but she was a living StrawmanPolitical of the Colbert sort, who insisted that the Constitution was based on the Ten Commandments. * Another troper knew a teacher who, while not misplaced as she was a Nursery School teacher, spoke to her students and their parents (and older siblings etc.) in the same tone of voice. Which was very irritating. * This troper had a math teacher in 6th grade who taught the order of operations by having us stand up and sing and dance a song. Thankfully this tropers 7th grade math teacher actually taught, and while the rest of his class disliked him, this troper respected him and gained math skill thanks to him. This troper also has a health teacher who is strict, but has an odd focus on coloring in assignments when there is no point (it's not a presentation). * Inverted: [[{{Trombone Child}} This troper's]] kindergarten teacher was a MisplacedKindergartenTeacher in that she was a SadistTeacher who

should not have been teaching kindergarten. Each week, we studied a different letter of the alphabet, and she would not only make us memorize a little poem related to that letter, but she would also make us memorize American Sign Language gestures to go with it. She would have her parents come in and test us not only on the poem and ASL gestures, but on tying our shoes, knowing our prayers (it was a Catholic school), and other such things. Said troper attended an extracurricular class that winter where we learned about inventions and got to design our own invention at the end. This troper designed a "Teacher Cruncher." Guess which teacher she wanted to crunch. * This troper also feels like his Visual BASIC teacher is a bit of a MisplacedKindergartenTeacher. ** [[IncrediblyLamePun Misplaced? It's Visual Basic!]] * In this troper's elementary school, the entire school had to attend a weekly session called All School Sing, led by one of the kindergarten teachers. When leading it, she talked to the students, of all grades, as if they were kindergarteners. ** But at least that troper got to have FunWithAcronyms. * [[{{Namta}} This troper]] got this vibe from his high school, but that was probably because there were a lot of quite honestly infantile students and sometimes the teachers got confused about who was and wasn't one. * This troper had had the same health teacher in both kindergarden and high school. Her teaching methods and speech patterns were essentially the same both times. * I have a high school religion teacher who knows that we are in high school. Because he knows that he treats like we are "Brain-dead Kids." Sadly when I looked around the room i realized that he was right. Three students were asleep. * This troper went to an elementary school with a very sweet principal who was great with small children. Then she got "promoted" to running the local high school, which had serious problems with petty crime, truancy, and a general lack of student discipline. It didn't work out very well for her. * This troper once had an incredibly perky science teacher who was this trope. She called our class of fifteen-year-olds "A bunch of cheeky nuff-nuffs," on the first day. It's odd - this troper usually ''loves'' really upbeat characters and people, but instead I just found this teacher really scary. I think it's because her cheerfulness came off as really forced, and even aggressive. Some of the students I talked to thought it was just an act she was putting on, and I agree. * This tropers mother had a horrifying experience with one of these, when a ''algebra'' teacher said, quote: 'If I was a little X, what would you do to get me to the other side of the equation'? Mom, being a sarcastic sort, thought to herself 'Cheap wine and a chick flick?'. * This troper had a math professor who, while very kind, talked to the whole class in a tone of voice that made it feel like I was in elementary school instead of college. * [[AcrossTheStars This troper's]] favorite teacher of all time was her senior religion teacher. She was one of the sweetest people alive and an amazing confidante. She was not, however, prepared to deal with nasty, perverted high schoolers, most of whom mocked her endlessly.

And... well, let's just say she was quite far on the Idealistic end of the SlidingScaleOfCynicismVersusIdealism. This troper firmly believes she would be the best early-elementary school teacher alive. * This troper had an English teacher in high school that also taught elementary classes. I am not yet sure to which of the two she was unsuited for. She did often complain that she wasn't prepared to deal with a bunch of snarky teenagers, yet I have hard time imagining her teaching grade schoolers since she was rather sarcastic and short tempered. * Ugh, this troper had one of these at a Shakespeare conservatory. "Do you know what iambic pentameter is? What about a euphemism?" * This troper, a ''professional technical writer'', had an editor who would give classes. And make the technical writers read out paragraphs. And go to the front of the room and solve examples of why phrasing X was inferior to phrasing Y. If we didn't all know she was slated for retirement, we would have staged a rebellion. * This troper had one in a high school resume-building class. She had a very high sweet sort of voice and ''the most piercing pale green eyes imaginable.'' This troper hated that class, because that teacher ''never answered any questions''. Just stared. What made her into a MisplacedKindergartenTeacher, however, was the fact that a year later that teacher would come up behind this troper and ''hug'' her. FoeYay? * This troper has a ''college professor'' who teaches her Developmental Psychology class as if it were aimed at the Early Childhood demographic we study, not the real, actual, old-enough-tolegally-drink students she's actually dealing with. To make it even worse, she combines the condescending side of this trope with the movement and energy of a hyperactive poodle in CaffeineBulletTime. Needless to say, this troper is glad she can use her laptop to appear to take notes, but really be online. On TVTropes. Editing TroperTales. :) * First day of American History in 8th grade. Teacher goes to the front of the room. As enthusiastically as possible: --->'''Teacher''': ''*Gestures to picture on wall*'' This is Cromwell. He's going to be our class Mascot this year. --->Listen to Cromwell. Cromwell says "Be polite". Cromwell says "Be on time". Cromwell says "Do your homework." --->'''Class''':. . . It just went downhill from there. --->'''Teacher''': When I say, "Give me five", I want you to all be quiet and hold five fingers up in the air!" In retrospect, the class probably fell into SoBadItsGood. ** Cromwell as in the Puritan leader of England? Because if so, I feel quite a lot of sympathy for you. * My mother is an interesting version of this. She ''is'' a kindergarten teacher, yet most of the times she comes home she forgets that we're not her kindergarten students. I say kindergarten students because if I just said students, I'd be lying since she does homeschool, which leads me to wonder if she's ever a misplaced 8th grade teacher. * Two summers ago, when this troper was attending her first year at the world-renowned Summer Enrichment Program at UNC Greely, which is

filled with super-intelligent kids from all over the world, she encountered one of these. The Super Saturday theme was Aloha, Ohana, and the day had an overall Hawaiian-Pacific theme. One of the guest speakers got up before this group of very intelligent fifth-twelfth graders and talked like she was speaking to a bunch of slow tree sloths. "Hello, children. Today I- am going to be talking to yoouuu about Ha-wai-eee! Do yooouu know anything about Ha-wai-ee? It's in the ''Pacific Ocean.'' Do any of yooouuu children know where the ''Pacific Ocean'' is? Good for yoouu! Can yooouuu say aahh-looo-ha? Can yooouu say Ha-wai-ee? Very good, children!" This troper sitting near the back, started pantomiming vomiting and strangulation of the speaker. A counselor noticed, but merely smiled and looked away. * This troper's law lecturer right now is like that - and the mature students, the ones who are meant to be older and act as if they're better than us, play along and allow her to do that to them. It's gotten to the point where everybody refuses to answer questions because of this, and this troper and his friend started writing notes to each other and drawing stick figure cartoons of her being condescending and silly and the mature students playing along. ---> Troper's Friend: It must be weird for her [the lecturer], having to be so patronising to someone way older than her. ---> Troper: Agreed. At least she has us, the little ones, to offset her unease at being condescending to a senior citizen. * The depute head of this troper's high school treats every single pupil, from the (12-year-old) first years to the (17-or-18-year-old) sixth years as if they are five years old. This troper has a great amount of admiration for her sister, who actually called the teacher on this. * This troper's high school had three special classes for students with autism. This troper happens to have autism and was in one of these classes. A teacher in one of said classes, the first time seeing this troper, began to give her monosyllabic commands as if she was a five year old. Or a dog. This troper proceeded to give this teacher a tongue-lashing that would make a college English professor jealous. To add insult to injury, I'm known for [[SesquipedalianLoquaciousness a vocabulary and literary comprehension level that frequently eclipses that of people twice my age.]] The teacher [[CompletelyMissingThePoint didn't get the point]], [[WhatAnIdiot and continued doing it ]]until this troper's BerserkButton was pushed. ** The teacher apparently didn't realize that autism is ''not'' synonymous with mental retardation. ** I love you. ** This troper had one of those too. A horrific blend of TheDitz, StepfordSmiler and TheCutie, who was also probably a BrainlessBeauty in her younger years. ** This troper would hereby like to offer you applause and cookies and giftcards to bookstores, because anyone who thinks that autism always equals mentally challenged clearly hasn't met anyone autistic. ** At times, those with autism have such a mild case of it that they barely seem autistic at all. I know two kids, a sister who's a year younger than me and her brother who is several years younger. They're both autistic; both have slight speech affectations. I always knew the

brother was different; it's fairly obvious with him. But the sister? I didn't know she was autistic until ''ten years'' after I met her. My mother teaches special needs (as in those who have difficulty learning, as opposed to students with mental or severe emotional conditions, though she used to teach at Oak Tree aka "The Crazy School" of Albany, GA; one of her students once brought a ''KA-Bar'' to school in his backpack), and I just assumed she had a difficulty learning. ** This autistic troper also had to deal with this nonsense in high school. Fortunately, I don't think the special ed teachers I had to deal with knew I understood how to use sarcasm, resulting in a DoesNotUnderstandSarcasm[=-like=] effect. In retrospect, I should have probably had more fun with this, but I was too busy being [[{{Wangst}} bitter]]. * This troper's eighth grade honors English teacher. He would like to know just how this woman was placed so far away from her desired position. * This troper knows a substitute teacher like this, although he's never had to be her student. She never turns it off. She never stops talking like that. These people have some sort of disease. * This troper's mother teaches a special ed class. She might be forgiven for thinking that it's okay to talk to teenagers like fiveyear-olds, since most of the ones she deals with will never mature past the kindergartner stage of development even when they're physically adults. All the same, it's kind of embarrassing when she treats her gifted thirteen year old nephew like a small child. * This troper inverts the trope by being a Misplaced ''College'' Instructor. Usually this manifests with SesquipedalianLoquaciousness (which I keep getting told to scale back), but it will also cause me to take lessons ''far'' further than the source material. For example: going over the types of quarks and their interactions in a middle school class that was still discussing the basics of atoms using the ''Bohr model!'' I can't help it, it's fascinating stuff. ** This troper had a teacher like as a science teacher in high school. But he was good at explaining things, and also was part Mythbuster, so the entire class LOVED him. And his explosions (Mythbusters woo) * This troper's had two such teachers. Both of them were language teachers (one taught English; the other, Spanish), and she had both teachers ''twice''--once in 8th grade, and again for college-level classes. It's bad enough to talk that way to 13 year-olds; it's even worse to do it to ''advanced seniors''. * This troper's seventh grade english teacher was like this. The year after our grade left, she DID move on to teaching kindergarten. * This troper's ''senior year AP art'' teacher combined SadistTeacher with MisplacedKindergartenTeacher and basically treated me like I was some kind of idiot. All because I liked cartoons. I'm serious, that's all I said was that I liked cartoons, and suddenly for the rest of the year she came up with a cutesy bullcrap nickname for me and treated me like I was five. Needless to say by the end of the year when we were required to write an essay reflecting on how we evolved as an artist, my essay was devoted to stating indirectly how my teacher singlehandedly destroyed any perception I had of myself as an artist and any

wish to be any kind of artist in the future. Her response when she read it? "Ohhhh, Jackie, you don't mean that." I had to use all possible mental restraint from saying the first thing that popped into my mind: "FUCK YES I DO YOU BITCH!!!" ** This troper suspects he may very well have had the same teacher. Same class, same essay, same behavior. * Unintentionally subverted by the troper, who, when elementary teacher used the word "baggies" to him, said, "I'm ten years old; you don't have to talk to me in baby talk." Turns out "baggies" is the actual trademark term for those little plastic baggies. * My social studies teacher in eighth grade retired halfway through the year. He was awesome. The new teacher had us filling out the generic "color in *insert random object* and do *incredibly easy fill in the blank sheets designed for, it said on the label, second graders*" busy work. I wound up getting so annoyed she sent me out of the class a couple of times... until one time, when I pointed out that I liked not having to do the crappy work, where she pretty much just stopped trying and let me read for the rest of the year. * This troper's grade eight math teacher sometimes lapsed into this. She taught us a ''song'', complete with standing up and clapping along, to remember "The circumference of a circle is pi-d or 2pi-r". It was great, actually. ** Yeah, my Year 8 maths teacher was like this. I think we might have broken her. *** Funny, my eighth grade math teacher too. Of course, if it weren't for the song she taught us, I would have forgotten the quadratic equation years ago. (Not that I've needed it since...) *** This troper's math teacher taught us the Decimal Number Dance. It involved a lot of hopping. The troper can't remember what year it was, or the name of the teacher, but by Christ she can work with decimals. * Art history, junior year. Of ''college''. "Do yoouu know what a volcaay-no is?" Yes, and in fact, I can even look at a mosaic depicting a man and not describe it as a painting of a woman, unlike you. * Subverted at This Troper's school. The school system here works in different 'levels' depending on the academic intellegence of the student. Many people at the higher level of this troper's school believe this is how the teachers of the lower level act. They don't. Also subverted at this troper's new/old school. While the teachers are normal, the people who started the school believe in this on a painful level. Apparently because we didn't get perfect scores in everything we're retarded. Ugh. ** You don't live in Germany, by any chance? * This troper had a high school teacher who fit this trope to a T. At one point, she decided to name the troper "Miss Crankypants" and shook her by the shoulders to "make you not cranky anymore." (It didn't work.) * This troper's Music/Health/ex-art/ex-drama teacher is a mix between the MisplacedKindergartenTeacher and SadistTeacher, more on the Sadist Teacher side though, and I think it is because we are younger than her (and misconceptions that this generation is the retard generation) that we are less capable than her in everything (except internet, where she does not understand facebook (quite understandable because

she is at least 'on the hill') and think that hacking works the way it does in Hollywood) that she needs to shape us up (in a harsh way) so that we are capable members in society. Also, she is strictly 'oldschool' manners and religious (more-so than most people at my school, including the friendly neighborhood priest) * This troper's high school German teacher believed and stated in class, that because we knew as much German as German children, we should learn like children. We ended up singing alphabet songs, watching movies, and making cut-outs of colored paper. * This troper can probably type faster than my current Computer teacher, and she uses random students as "assistants" for the special {be it physical or mental} because she can't handle the class well enough. She talks like she's talking to unborn babies. Augh. Not to mention I was one of the "assistants" {thankfully for a physically handicapped one instead of a blubbering idiot}. * Not sure if this counts, but we once had a substitute teacher and I'm pretty sure he was supposed to be in a conspiracy theory thingy. He taught us NOTHING to do with the subject and then ran off with our test results. * Partially subverted by this troper. It wasn't her teacher, but her ''optometrist''. When she goes for her eye checkup, said optometrist will go: 'Now, what letter iiis this? Is it an Eeeee? Yesh? yesh it is! Good girl!' The most embarrassing thing is when this troper's mom went to check, the optometrist did the exact same thing to her. The only reason this troper goes there is because of the rock-bottom prices. (Addendum: Which might be for a reason...) * In 7th grade, this troper's Ethics teacher was like this. He would jump while explaining something and most of what we did in class consisted of listening to him telling us stories, drawing them and writing its moral. * The way this Troper's 10th grade Algebra 2 teacher spoke made her sound like a preschool teacher who was either sleep-deprived or high. She was a very good teacher, just a little... out of it. * [[CaptHayfever My]] English teacher when I was in 8th grade was a piece of work. First off, she was only even ''certified'' to teach '''second grade''', spoke to us like we were that age. (Our principal later admitted the applicants were sparse that year.) My school being full of DeadpanSnarkers, JerkJocks, CommanderContrarians, & both the [[ViewersAreGeniuses top]] and [[ViewersAreMorons bottom]] ends of the perception scale, this approach was ineffective. She also was horribly gender-biased, letting the girls get away with doing whatever the heck they wanted while the boys were loudly chastised for even the slightest infraction (not that her reprimands were at all effective; she apparently couldn't even stop two 7th-graders from ''hanging one of their classmates out the 2nd-story window in the middle of her lesson''). '''I''' ended up explaining more grammar & mechanics lessons than she did, as she couldn't understand many of the rules in the textbook (yes, she was a native English speaker like all of us). Her due dates were never enforced, & after November, she was just glad when anyone turned in anything (I kept doing work 'cause I wanted the A & actually liked a pretty clever short-story system she had devised but abandoned). She spent most of the last quarter of the year reading

to us aloud from this [[SoBadItsHorrible terribly-written]] {{Narm}}filled biography called ''She Said Yes'' which had just been published, & crying over her boyfriend dumping her...while revealing she still lived with her parents at age 29-30. My last story for the class directly, albeit subtlely, insulted her inability to teach or comprehend the material we were covering, & when she tried to call me out on it, [[WillNotTellALie I was able to throw off the suspicion without actually denying it]]. Again, remember, she was twice my age & allegedly "better educated", & I out-talked her in less than a minute after also out-teaching her all year long. %comment% Her name was Julie Finder. * This definitely applies to my 11th grade U.S. History teacher. First thing she does on the first day of school? She makes us play a ''name game.'' We had to make up a nickname that had the same first letter as our name (Mighty Matt, Great Gary, etc.). And we had to repeat everyone else's nickname. We wasted a week on that. And if someone didn't listen to her (which was common seeing as how my school is filled with Deadpan Snarkers), she would make them sit in the corner. ''Sit. In. The. Corner.'' What were we, in Second-Grade? Plus, half the stuff she taught us was faulty. And redundant. We spent ''3 months'' on the founding fathers. We took the same notes 5 times. Nobody liked her. If we were discussing current affairs, everything we said was wrong. If we disagreed with her opinion, she would sa "Yeah, no." About halfway through the year, she left on maternity leave (yes she was pregnant). She was replaced with a much more competent (and cooler) teacher. She came back with one month left of school, and she hadn't been teaching again for 5 minutes before she gave us a project because she didn't feel like teaching us the last bit of history we needed to know (you know, that little thing called the Cold War.)It's rumored that she got her job by giving her boss a blow job. I'm sorry, I know I'm ranting here, but she was not ready for high school. ** That sounds like a substitute we have at my school. Haaappy Haley! Craaaazy Carmen! We didn't learn anything! ** My second year English teacher made us do the name game and sent someone to sit in the corner too. No one liked her. * [[PurplePantherGirl This troper]] had a subsitute teacher in her third year of secondary school for English and now this was the ''top'' set, so when she comes in and tells us that we have to think up the 'longest word we can' when she gives us a letter of the alphabet we were going to play up weren't we? (I was quite amused by friend's word- Beelzebub, which the teacher described as 'Not a very nice word hmmmmmmm?') So when she gives me A I say the first word which came into my head. Which happened to be Antidisestablishmentarianism. Cue laughs. ** [[MyKungFuIsStrongerThanYours My sesquapedalian loquatiousness is stronger than yours]]: Floccinoccinihilipilification-''n''[[ItsProbablyNothing thinking that something is nothing.]] * [[DaNuke Da_Nuke]]'s LAN teacher would occasionally lapse into this, though it was more his way of being sarcastic. Mind you, he's actually a deeply respected SternTeacher. An example that lapses to mind, after the IT management students finally got the hang of using Wireshark one week after the network engineers did:

-->"Well, my dear little engineers, now that we learned to use the protocol analyzer after such a long, epic struggle, say YAY! We did it!". * This Trooper was in the dull set for GCSE maths, but made it worse/better (depends who you ask) was our teacher got us to play bingo at the end of lessons and stamped out work with happy stamps like 'smart owl' and 'smile'. * This troper is really surprised that MisplacedKindergartenTeachers are so hated. Her 11th grade Calculus teacher was ''the'' embodiment of this trope. She was ditsy and bubbly and dyed her hair platinum blonde. She gave us coloring assignments, puzzles, mailboxes, and smiley stickers on our tests. She graded all out papers in blue ink instead of red, to keep us from feeling too bad. When this troper failed a test, she stamped "keep trying" on it (it actually helped me feel better). Best of all, she really understood the needs of stressed-out students. She guided us through all the homework, had cram sessions on test day mornings, and even let us do other work in class if we really needed it. Everyone in the class loved her, especially because we were all on the same track of advanced classes: our other teachers were all strict and sarcastic. In fact, this troper has a theory that she acted like that ''because'' she knew we needed a break from [[SternTeacher serious teachers]]. ** I don't think you had a MisplacedKindergartenTeacher; you just had a ''nice'' teacher. Huge difference. The ones we're talking about are demeaning, patronizing, humiliating, and/or just plain ineffectual. * Every single school principal [[CanvasWolfDoll this troper]] has ever had. Most notably, his middle school one, who would start off every assembly by pointing to the students, one-by-one, and tell them "You are smart". Throughout middle school, this troper kept waiting for her to call a single person stupid. She never did. * This Troper's Ecology I teacher was like this. When we were learning about conservation, she READ TO US FROM A PICTURE BOOK. Mind you, half the students in this class had their driver's licenses. She was also under the impression that Glenn Beck was an authority on climatology. * Gahh, this was this Troper's Year Eight substitute Japanese teacher to the max. Jarring because we had an awesome teacher for the first three terms and then he had to retire, so we got a new teacher. She treated us as if we knew nothing about the subject (as in, she would never write in hiragana despite us all knowing it), made us play kiddie-bingo with time and only doing variables of the hour or halfpast, and our exam was just a few sheets we had only done A FEW WEEKS AGO AND MARKED. (Everyone got over 80%. It made this otaku troper feel less special snowflake after being top of class for most of the year, but those with better memories got higher marks.) She drew a Pikachu to teach body-parts (this was to a group of fourteen year olds, only one of which had any remaining interest in Pokemon). And for all that, she wouldn't let me play any of my anime at the end of the year, gah. * [[DrMcP This Troper's]] 11th grade HONORS English teacher talked to the class as if we were 7, instead of 17. One of the vocabulary words we learned was 'DIAGONAL', complete with a visual description of what 'diagonal' means. * This Troper's math class has a little cameo. We have this assistant

teacher to help with our work if we don't get it. Now I have a habit of resting my head on my hand while I work. ''Apparently'' I looked depressed or something, because the assistant teacher walks up and asks, "Are you doing okay?" I say, "Yes." And then she goes, "Are you sure?" It was the voice that she said it in that bugged me. ** You go the Are You Okay thing too? I hated that. I take a long time it the bathroom, alright? I've had more than one condescending teacher take me aside after I got back and ask if I was okay. Yes I'm okay! What response were you expecting? A tearful confession of bulimia? A thoughtful discussion about constipation? * This Troper's algebra class in the first two years of high school was boring, but it wasn't this. It WAS a special ed class, though, and the worksheets she gave us were obviously made by a company full of people who think learning disabilities equal mental retardation. They were the kind of thing you get in second grade. You know, those "answer the math problems so that you can spell out the punchline to the unfunny joke" type things. The worst, though, was the worksheets with ''dinosaurs, robots, and spaceships'' all over them. I would have been certain that these were meant for elementary school kids, if it weren't for the fact that the math would have been too hard for them. * I had an art teacher like this. He came into our class, started singing a childish rhyme, and the started practicing meditation. He is alson a good example for HippieTeacher. * How about a Misplaced Basketball Coach? My tenth grade Math teacher also served as the coach for the basketball team; this wouldn't have been so bad if not for the fact ''he talked about basketball'' '''all the time'''. Literally ''weeks'' would go by where he'd waste every class spending the whole period going on and on about basketball -and not even in the "theme questions around basketball" way, either! It was just "Basketball basketball basketball oh there's the bell here's your homework assignment bye kids basketball". Meaning we pretty much had to teach ourselves out of the book because he couldn't actually, y'know, use class time to ''review'' what we were supposed to be learning. And if you actually dared ''ask'' him for help, he patronized you -- with an extra helping of misogyny in my case, as I was struggling with the subject and he said it was only naturally since I was "just a girl". * This troper took a basic foods class as a senior in High School. The class was for freshmen to seniors, and many (ok, most) were immature, but we weren't 5. Our teacher didn't seem to understand this, and would go so far as to flicker the lights or say "One, two, three, listen to me!" The lights got extremely annoying, as she would do so ''while we're trying to cook/work.'' She'd also have to go over recipes step-by-step, and would often say things like "And then you have to stir, stir, stir!" To be fair, she doubled as a parenting teacher who worked did with 5 year-olds. But it just got to the point that it was ridiculous. * This troper's Criminal Law and Family Law prof is a bit like this but she [[JustifiedTrope has kindergarten aged kids herself,]] and the "persona" actually somehow works in class. She even incorporated some of her kids' little books about "Where are my parents?" type themes in one of our Family Law lectures, and wrote us a

[[{{CrowningMomentofAwesome}} nursery rhyme type poem reviewing all our Criminal Law cases at the end of term.]] * This troper's English teacher lampshaded this trope after handing out worksheets that were essentially 'Match this Quote to this character'. We recently [[{{WhatDoYouMeanItsNotAwesome}} built a replica Elizabethan Globe style theatre out of cardboard]], complete with balcony and basement, and pipe cleaner figures of the entire cast of Dr. Faustus. She also brings cookies on Saturdays and only hands them out to students who have been good. * This troper has encountered one particular sub for both math and bio, in each class she claims that she has a degree in each subject, then proceeds to treat the many 17-18 (and the odd 19) year old students like they're kindergartners. Luckily, I have an iPod. * This troper's eighth-grade math (and seventh-grade science) teacher spent two years reading her class storybooks - only some of which related to math or science - and making ice cream with them. She also handed out stickers for completed homework. Finding out that we were all completely unprepared for high school math? Totally worth it. * Our primary school (ages 5-11 for American tropers) headmistress was effectively this. Admittedly she was legitimately allowed to act like this to the 5-year olds, but when she says things like "Didn't all the children do well?" in the most babyish voice you've ever heard at the end of the 11-year olds' Leavers' Play (where all the kids about to leave for secondary school get to put on a show for the rest of the school), it's no surprise that 90% of the kids (and a lot of their parents) hated her guts. In return, the year above me got the most awesome send-off ever; when she went into one of those speeches after their play, in perfect unison the entire cast gave her a variety of hand gestures kids our age aren't supposed to know. They were punished, but that didn't stop all 150 or so kids in the audience giving them a standing ovation. * Just today, [[{{Liangnui}} I]] had a substitute teacher like this. While we were already annoyed that our normal Spanish 3 teacher had taken off after assigning us nothing (and doing nothing) we were almost happy about getting to watch ''ThePrincessBride'', even if it was in Spanish and we didn't get the full impact of the jokes anymore. Cue the substitute today with a ukulele (or some other small guitarlike instrument) who randomly decided to throw the movie plan out because she wanted to sing songs instead, had us sing two versions of "De Colores" and took twenty minutes calling roll, asking each person what they wanted to do in the future and why we were learning Spanish. Most of our answers could be summed up as "It's a language credit. Why not?" My complaint was basically, "I'm pretty sure we're all nearly eighteen, not ''eight''." * [[{{Kathadrion}} I've]] had two: ** The first one wasn't even a teacher, she was a welfare officer who worked at my high school. She once came to us during a class and asked if she could talk to us for a bit. She then proceeded to tell us about feelings and our budding sexuality and she said things like "Well, soon you may find yourselves... glancing at people of the opposite sex. It's ''completely'' noooormal!" We were ''fifteen''. ** The other was more recently. A university lecturer used to talk to

us like this. Justified in that she actually ''was'' a kindergarten teacher who had advanced and was now teaching other people to teach. * This troper's Honors English teacher, junior year. She got kicked out of level into this class. The teacher had a high pitched voice that sounded like she was cooing over us. She gave us candy for behaving. The most challenging word on our vocabulary was something along the lines of "Toady." She seriously believed that we all had no idea what we were doing. Seh called people "Chatty Cathys" and "Crankypants." She also told this troper she shouldn't read a book because it was too complicated. (I was reading Robinson Crusoe.) * I had an Accounting teacher at university with shades of this (I'm pretty sure construction paper isn't typically involved in the teaching of the subject). Not a SadistTeacher, but her style was one of the (many, many) reasons I grew to hate accounting. * [[@/{{Quillpaw}} This troper]] has an interesting version of this in her Astronomy teacher. I absolutely love this woman to death. She is the smartest person I know, and we can sit down after class or during breaks and have wonderful, non-"kindergarten teacher" conversations about science. However, during class, she goes into Kindergarten Teacher mode and often repeats things in a baby-talk voice three or four times. I suppose I understand though, since even then most of the kids just outright fail her class. We spend two weeks- TWO FREAKING WEEKS going over the ''phases of the moon'', and ninety percent of the class completely failed failed the quiz. And these were SENIORS. ** This Tropette feels the need to mention that her science class just finished a test that asked not only the phases of the moon, but things about planets, comets etc. We also basically had to teach ourselves the stuff, since he spends most of the class talking about anything that comes to mind. More than half the class got A's and B's, and only two people failed. I'm a ''SEVENTH GRADER.'' (In other words, I feel really bad for you, though your teacher [[CoolTeacher sounds awesome.]] ) * I had a rather frustrating and unfortunate version of this happen. It wasn't a teacher, but a training supervisor. I was joining a program that performed various kinds of yard and grounds maintenance, and had to go through a weeks worth of training. Unfortunately, most of the participants in the program were mentally retarded, and the supervisors were used to talking to everyone very slowly and carefully and "kindly". I say "kindly" in quotation marks because it was damn well patronizing. One woman, though, flat out refused to treat me like I wasn't retarded, to the point I walked out of the program because I'd have hit her if I'd stayed longer. * I had one of these in high school biology. She was just about the most kind, messianic and absent-minded soul in the institution, but the way the class dissidents trampled her patience always made me nervous whether she'd snap for good. * Just because it's a OneGenderSchool doesn't mean you have to address the class as "boys!" up until they're sixteen. * [[Tropers/AyaReiko This troper]] can attest this is why I bombed out of my teaching internship. Not because I was a MisplacedKindergartenTeacher, but because I ''wasn't''. * This Troper attributes part of her near-failing of Algebra II as a

junior in high school to her own teacher, Mrs. Steiner. There was nothing good about that woman, it seemed. She talked down to you like you were one of her toddlers. One would THINK that would lead to her simplifying her explanations of formulas, but it didn't. And when you asked a question, she spoke to you in that same patronizing tone and made you feel like an idiot. Despite this, I asked questions every day, which rarely seemed to help. I was the only one who did. Thankfully, I had a friend in the class who was good at math so we could partner up to do our homework. Mrs. Steiner also showed a favoring towards people who did well in the class (who were few and far between). Said friend of mine started out doing very well and commented that the teacher didn't seem so bad. But when she started getting confused and doing worse in the class, she noticed Mrs. Steiner growing colder towards her. We both decided we hated her, and even mentioning the woman's name around me makes me want to snarl. She also proved to be a bit of an [[TyrantTakesTheHelm Tyrant]]. Once, almost the entire class failed a test. Instead of faulting herself even a tiny bit for the possibility that she could have taught the class better, she spent 30 minutes (I remember because I'm a clock watcher) ranting at us about how none of us put forth any effort and that we didn't try enough. She even asked at one point if we wanted our HEADSTONES to say "I didn't try hard enough"! All in that same, rage-inducing patronizing voice. * As I write this, I am sitting in my college history class, being bored actually to tears by a professor who thinks she must teach us about "who", "what", "when", "where", and "why" and how to use an online dictionary. I am quite looking forward to a tour of the library she's promised us, as it should make her shut the hell up a bit. However, I'd sooner climb out the window than write a "real live paragraph" with the five W's in it. COLLEGE. * This troper's tenth grade math teacher SEEMED to be this, as she spoke to everyone as though they were five years younger than they actually were. Our activities seemed pretty juvenile too. Then I had to miss a ton of school because of major surgery. That teacher was the only one to send me work, including tests, and made SURE that I was able to do everything I needed to. She was on top of things better than teachers who had been teaching for 20+ years. She helped me pass the class AND the final, which I'd never done before, and haven't done since. So while she may have seemed a bit green and out place, the woman knew her shit. * A teacher in my school seems like this at first glance, being overly sweet with a high pitched voice with bright clothes and a similar classroom. But she's the first person to call the kid with the lowest grades in the class a dumbass and will kick you out if you dare ask a question without doing the work. Because NOT understanding the material is impossible, apparently. * This Troper's 9th grade ADVANCED ALGEBRA II teacher. IT wasn't only she took two periods to explain what greater than and less then signs indicated, but she also gave out patterned pencils, extra credit points and homework-free nights for good behavior and had a FIVE strikes policy for 'bad' behavior (polite warning, warning, then stern warning, then a 1 minute talk after class, then a two minute talk

after class, ending in a detention after the 5th) that RESET EVERY DAY, but she didn't know what SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT. I just went up and said for a test answer I got wrong (legit) and said "This is actually right, you may have made a mistake" and she immediate apologized and fixed it and ADDED DOUBLE the problem's value for her mistake. I got 104% that year due to all that 'Extra Credit'. * I had a literal MisplacedKindergartenTeacher in the latter half of fifth grade. Take an urban public school, a class of half fifth and half sixth graders, give them half a year of incompetent substitutes (to the point where some of them didn't speak ''English'') because of the original teacher's chronic absenteeism. Then replace said teacher with a former Catholic school kindergarten teacher. I'd have felt sorry for her if she wasn't such a dingbat. One bright side - she did teach me how to spot incompetent teachers a mile off. * This troper's mother, who actually ''used'' to be a kindergartener teacher, slips into this when at her worst. * [[@/{{Brick3621}} This Troper's]] French teacher plays with this {{trope}} -- she gives us reasonably difficult assignments and actually teaches us, while at the same time making us play games like lotto, do Christmas singalongs, and watch Dora the Explorer (admittedly on only one occasion). * [[@/{{Tadaru}} This troper]] has a teacher who looks and sounds like one, but mostly sounds like one. When she wants to emphasize something the pitch of her voice will suddenly spike, rather than just going up a little bit. When this troper's woken up on the wrong side of the bed, this takes him to the brink of insanity. * This troper had an english sub that fit this trope to a T. This was while we were reading The Kite Runner. * [[Tropers/DaionusThe23rd This troper's]] High School case manager could qualify as a BunnyEarsLawyer variant. Her speech, style, and overall mannerisms mimic this, but she manages to be a highly effective counsellor at the same time whilst understanding the problems. One day I told her that she was so sweet that her very prescence could give someone diabetes. After some initial confusion, she proceeded ''to take it as a compliment and hug me.'' * [[{{Tropers/Ventisia}} This Troper's]] computers teacher is this. She shakes peoples' hands on Friday with a hearty "Happy Friday!", uses terms such as "whoopsy-doodles!", and acts like we know very little at times (not unfounded- this is an area where many people are computer illiterate; interestingly enough, said teacher admits I probably know more than her, and my typing speed outspeeds her by quite a bit). Despite this, she's still quite a nice woman, rather refreshing to have her. Don't get on her wrong side, though; she'll drop the MisplacedKindergartenTeacher thing verrrrrrry quickly. * Two here. The first is a ''Business Studies'' teacher, at a school that only does Business Studies at A-level. I came into contact with her because she also teaches Games (like PE, only you do something useful). She's so perky and patronising some of my year wonder if she's on drugs. However, she can also be quite sadistic: there was a hockey match in the middle of December, and it was freezing cold. And all the girls had to watch, even if they weren't in the hockey team, which was moronic in and of itself, but still. My friend has Raynaud's

and was slowly losing circulation in her hands. We told her this and she still refused to let us sit in our house, because apparently we were unsupervised. Never mind that there was a teacher inside and Matron was there. We kept pressing our case and in the end she told us not to argue, otherwise "we wouldn't be friends". Still in that same perky tone of voice. I said nothing, because I was too annoyed and weirded out by the fact that she was treating us like five-year-olds. ** The second example was a teaching interview. My very cool, very eccentric and very good Latin teacher (think of an absent-minded classicist) is pregnant and needs someone to cover for her while she's on maternity leave. Enter the interviewee, a woman who proceeds to go over imperatives and prohibitions (this is Year 9 stuff; I'm in Year 10) with our class, to use her "thumbs up/middle/down" method to check if we understand things, to play "Caesar dicit" with us (this is not a bad game, it's just the fact that she treated us like five-year-olds) and to talk about punctuation. Never mind that, as a Latin teacher, she should know that actual Latin had no punctuation or spaces to speak of. We didn't even get time to go over indirect commands, and when I mentioned that I knew the present and perfect active subjunctive (when she was asking me if I knew about indirect commands) she said "You don't need to know that for GCSE". This is technically true, but still quite irritating that she wants to confine our knowledge. Scariest part? This woman was an OCR marker and should know better. * My current 11th grade English teacher is this. While reading literature from the textbook, it'll take us WEEKS to get through one story. This is because she finds the absolute need to repeat sentences, over explain very simple phrases and words, and ask the class simple questions(that no one wants to answer, in which case she'll say"C'mon be brave!"). She actually lectured a friend of mine, during free-time in class, because they used the word "chick" to refer to a woman...it was a girl that used it! She didn't say "Don't say that in school" or even "Please don't say that in my class room" it was quite clear she personally had a problem with the word. I have an A in the class only because its easy as cake by its self. * There is a professor at this troper's college who has a habit of addressing his students (ages 19-24) as "children" while explaining fairly complicated mathematical concepts. In fact, the more complicated something is, the more he makes it sound like something that should be taught in kindergarten. This might be a bit of a subversion, since he seems to be aware of how surreal this sounds and mostly doing it ForTheLulz. * While this troper's eight grade English teacher didn't give us ''easy'' work, she did often treat us like little kids. The worst part? She was obsessed with boxers! As in the breed of dog. If we did something good, it was "boxer worthy" and she would give us a "boxer ticket." Not only that, but when she was mad, she would ''bark'' at us. I'm not even kidding. ** At first this was a slightly better than average troper tale of Misplaced Kindergarten teacher.... but then that last line. Whoa boy. How would you ''NOT'' be able to crack up laughing at the surreal {{Narm}} of an angry teacher ''barking'' at you?

[[CrowningMomentOfFunny CMOF]] my friend, [[CrowningMomentOfFunny C.M.O.F.]] * High School Biology: Miss Stancel nearly succeeded in turning me off to science (my then obsession and later major). It was video school and yet any mention of her still makes me want to scream. I was the kind of kid who spent the summer reading about epidemics and cloning, and here was this high pitched, annoying woman drawing faces on legumes, and giving them names. I eventually got permission to fast forward through her lectures and just read the book. * This troper's 11th to 13th grade Biology teacher was a peculiar version of this. Most of the students were rather hardworking and most of the school's teachers were rather tough. So she'd always give good grades to everyone and tell them (in her kindergarten-ish tone of voice): "All of you guys are working sooooo hard. Don't you worry your pretty little heads. I spent my first year of university being drunk and stoned all the time and look at me! I still have a good job!" ** She also had a teacher who made them paint a picture of "The Sorrows of Young Werther". In 13th grade Advanced German (at age 18/19). When she tried to discuss his teaching methods with him, he saw it as a personal attack and became really mad. * This troper's kindergarten teacher. She didn't particularly enjoy teaching six year olds. Her deadpan voice, dislike towards her own daughter (who was a year older), strict antics, etc., made the fact that she didn't like her job even ''more'' evident. I once even heard her mutter, what would be my first experience with curse words - "Why the hell am I teaching these kids?!" * In 11th grade, this troper had a student teacher who had just returned from teaching English to five year olds in Korea. She was a weird take on this because she would talk to the class like they were morons and sound out words (e.g. "they used a dem-o-crat-ic sis-tem. In a dem-oc-ra-see everyone gets a vote") but she also assigned an essay she marked using university level criteria. She frequently berated the class with things like "you're in high school, you shouldn't ask such stupid questions" when the questions were in response to the fact that she never explained anything. * I had an English teacher who put us through kindergarten-like exercises every day. "Let's all pair up and discuss this exercise." "Johnny, you're asleep, wake up or I'll send you to the composition office!" "Who's the good little boy that can tell me what tense your resume should be in?" Also, on February 14 she brought in an a capella quartet to sing us a Valentine's Day song. The sad thing: this was my senior year at the university. * This troper emigrated from Poland as a child so my parents decided that I attend a Polish language class organized by the local Polish church. This was actually a good idea since it is very easy to forget a language you do not use all the time. However, it was a mixed class with kids of all ages and the teacher only had one teaching plan. I was in 8th grade at the time and was not amused when told to color in maps of Poland. Also it was not really a language class but more of a cultural immersion class for kids who actually never lived in Poland. Since at that point I was still 'fresh off the boat' it felt very condensanding to me.

* When I went though training to become a special education teacher, we were specifically instructed ''not'' to treat our students this way, no matter how disabled they might be, because it's patronizing and demeaning. * This troper's guidence counceller all throughout her awful middle school experience. She even made me and the rest of this stupid group I was in to watch...a ''Barbie direct-to-DVD movie''. And she spoke to us like little kids. ----Do you wanna go back to MisplacedKindergartenTeacher? Yesh, you do! Yesh, you do! Yaaay! ---<<|TroperTales|>>

MissedHimByThatMuch * My parents, in comparing timelines, realized they must have been in the same room at the same time on multiple occasions in Providence, Rhode Island. They met years later in Boston. * The girl [[Tropers/{{Pita}} I'm]] in love with was apparently terrified of me for years because of a joke I once told, when we were both in choir. I was in fifth grade, she was in third. She could whistle without moving her lips, or looking like she was whistling at all, so I told her that I am going to force her to teach me how, OR ELSE (Everyone who knows me knows I am not the type to carry out the sort of things I say, but people who don't know me well think I'm a bit of a psycho. I swear, I just have a faulty sense of humor). I'm now graduating, and we only found out it was each other when I caught her doing it again, and shared the story of probably traumatizing a little girl when I was in fifth grade. * This tropette and her boyfriend lived in the same apartment complex for 5 years: we never saw each other until a mutual family friend set us up - 3 years after moving somewhere else. * At Otronicon 2009, I met my first (and still current) girlfriend when we needed her as a member of our band for a Rock Band tournament. Only after I was introduced to her (another dude found her) did I realize that I had seen her around the convention for the entire day, including watching her playing Rock Band, but never paying enough attention to really think of asking her to join the band. * Tropers/{{Excel-2010}}. I invoke this a lot on purpose because I think it's funny. But when it happens for real, in fiction or in life, it's absolutely maddening. ---You missed the main page for this trope by ''[[Main/MissedHimByThatMuch that much]]''. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

MissedMomentOfAwesome * This troper as a teenager once walked on the beach at night past a couple of women who were playing in the water. It was dark so I didnt

really notice anything but I walked near them only because I saw something that looked like abandoned clothing, I didnt realize it was theirs at the time considering I had already walked away before noticing them. Of course I only realized they were naked on the bus home. I dont know what a conversation with them would have turned out like, but I think its enough to qualify as a MissedMomentOfAwesome anyway. * This editor saw ''{{GATTACA}}'' in biology class when we were studying genetics. Sounds good, right? However, one class ended right before Jerome was about to climb the stairs. The next day, the teacher was having a hard time fast-forwarding to the right part and ended up having to start ''after'' that scene had ended, so our only experience with the part that this very wiki lists as the {{Crowning Moment Of Awesome}} was our teacher matter-of-factly telling us "he made it up the stairs". * This troper owns the Wii version of StarWars TheForceUnleashed and was sorely disappointed in that the main attraction (being able to Force pull down a Star Destroyer) was reduced to just a cutscene. Later, he saw a video of the [[ScrappyLevel 360 version of the same sequence]] on Youtube and thought to himself that the Wii (and PS2) version got the (somewhat) better end. * As an aspiring writer, this troper's worst problem is that he cannot help going so far out of his way to avoid this trope that it takes him weeks to write something that can be read in a comparable number of minutes, making it nearly impossible for him to ever finish a project. * In a "I should have said this" moment, this troper was trying to defend a friend from a bully. said bully had just compared said friend to a monkey saying "they both throw shit" (his exact words). the irony in this is that he just threw a glue stick, yet I failed to point this out at the time. * This troper once had a fairly well-written (modern edition, not from before 1969) World History textbook that included not so much as a single word or pixel indicating people had ever walked on the moon. ** Maybe it's because that's come to be considered a matter of opinion rather than fact, thanks to [[WildMassGuessing stupid conspiracy theorists.]] * This troper's had his fair share of puns he WOULD have used, if the situation hadn't passed long ago. * This Troper's friend had a bubble coating around his arm and had his arm set on fire, with no burn marks because of the coating, While in chemistry class. Thus making me regret taking Physics. * This troper is a junior instructor in tae kwon do. I was teaching my brother when he demonstrated a specific sequence of moves, only to mess up. After his group was done I said to him, "That could have been a CrowningMomentOfAwesome!!" * This troper was excited to find the Claymore item in Metal Gear Solid 4. And then was sorely disappointed to find that it was an explosive and not a sword. * While talking to my sister, a huge ''DCUniverse'' fangirl, about the horrors of cleaning out the fridge, I had the [[StuffedIntoTheFridge perfect reference]] set up... except I said "Green Arrow" instead of "Green Lantern", turning what could have been a CrowningMomentOfFunny

into an EpicFail. ** No joke, this troper also accidentally said Green Arrow instead of Lantern in what would have been a very funny joke. * This troper was just playing StarcraftII 1v1 online. I had an observer over my opponent for virtually the entire game. Therefore, I was fully aware of his/her MASSIVE force of marines, marauders, siege tanks, medivacs, and ghosts (with at least one nuke). I began preparing for the inevitable attack by building up my own massive force of zealots, dark templar, stalkers, void rays, and colossi. My observer saw as the opponent prepare the massive force to attack me... and then left the game, or lost connection. THE BATTLE WOULD HAVE BEEN EPIC! Especially when the ending stats revealed that our armies were almost the same size (mine was slightly bigger). * This troper was waiting for a pizza with friends from work when I pulled out a puppet I had made [[EverythingsBetterWithMuppets that our boss wanted to see,]] when one of us decided that the delivery guy was taking too long and [[CrowningMomentOfFunny that the puppet would take the pizza and ask why the pizza was so late when the pizza place was down the street.]] Then, the delivery guy showed up before I could go get the puppet out. * I was sleeping during the day when some people started chatting online and it turns out to be the people I waould want to friend with. It is only when I woke up that I realised most of them are gone and I could have actually contributed and made more friends but I wasted my chances on that. * This troper has had a LOT of cases of [[ComebackTomorrow Comeback Tomorrow]], but the one I regret most is the time I was standing around with a couple of girl-friends (most of them underaged), talking to a random guy none of us knew personally, who announced that there was no such thing as rape, "just surprise sex you didn't know you wanted." Everyone stood around and looked awkward for a couple of minutes in reality, but to this day this troper dearly wishes she'd gone through with her gut reaction to punch the guy in the face, then followed up with "that wasn't assault, it was a sparring match you didn't know you wanted." --> OOH OOH or "That wasn't assault, we just don't talk about Fight Club." Really anything snappy and related to violence without repercussion would have done the trick. [[ComebackTomorrow Comeback Tomorrow]] is a bitch. * This troper suspects that, by the toss of a coin, he lost the chance to have sex for the first time. Admittedly, it would have been with a friend he hadn't met for over five years, but had seen frequently until he was six (whereupon he moved to another part of the country) and [[{{Squick}} she was roughly four years older than he was]], so, if it would have happened, I would probably be typing on the BigLippedAlligatorMoment page about how I swore not to mention it. To quote SimonAndGarfunkel, every way you look at it, you lose. * This troper has several times come up with the perfect thing to say... long after the situation has passed. For example, the time me and my brother went around collecting money for some charity(which we did for school). Among the houses we visited were the house we lived in before we moved, and after we left, I came up with the perfect

thing to say... [[ZeroWing All your base were belong to us]]. * This Troper was one day practicing Martial arts when I decided to try round house kick a fly out of mid air, it actually worked! It dropped out of the air but not just once this troper did it four times in a row! But of course no one way around to see it and most people don't believe me when I say it, which is fair enough, really. Don't know if I can do it now though. ---Don't miss your chance to go back to MissedMomentOfAwesome. ----

MistakenConfession * At [[{{INUH}} This Troper's]] school, the judiciary traditionally asks students who come before it if they knew why they were there. This trope frequently ensued. One friend responded "for leaving campus during the school day;" he hadn't been caught doing that, but was there for littering. The head of judiciary had to institute a policy stopping the question from being asked because people would incriminate themselves for four or five things before getting it right, and this is a school that does ''not'' want to get students in trouble unless necessary. * Played for snark by this troper at every possible opportunity. His usual response to "Do you know what you're here for?" is "Airship piracy, arson, and resisting arrest". ---What? Go back to MistakenConfession?! Look, I'm sorry I almost deleted the entire wiki! ...you meant, because I was finished reading the TroperTales? OhCrap. <<|TroperTales|>>

MistakenForDying * This Troper once had to share a room with three Ethiopian roommates. I caught a really bad cold, and medical care being what it is in Ethiopia, the three girls thought I was dying. They insisted on doing my chores for me. Middle of the night, the R.A. woke me up and said "Take some cough syrup! You're scaring your roommates!" (I was coughing in my sleep.) * [[{{Tropers/Webby}} This panicky troper]] has a depressing one: one of her friends had attempted suicide and been interrupted. Twice. The following Sunday, he was supposed to meet with this troper for church, but he never showed. And never answered any calls. And didn't log onto Facebook. Said troper was worried for days, as she was hurt and unable to go to our usual hangout to see if he was there. After being unable to contact him, she fell borderline mute for a couple days. Finally, she called the aforementioned hangout. -->'''{{Tropers/Webby}}''': Hey, have you seen [X] lately? -->'''Staff member''': [X] came in tonight. He's playing his Wii with the guys.

** Almost fainted. He's [[EarnYourHappyEnding doing a lot better now,]] and we're still [[HappilyEverAfter close friends]].

MistakenForGay * This troper's father is frequently this when not around his wife and kids. He loves[[EverythingSoundsSexierInFrench French]] [[UnusualEuphemism culture]], is damn skinny (why can't I have his metabolism?), and is [[Series/DoctorWho into musical theater.]] If by that you mean "is an 18th century opera expert". * This troper is frequently mistaken for asexual by classmates, probably because I've never had a boyfriend or actively pursued one. Strangely enough, I'm considered something of a [[MemeticMolester memetic molester]] among my friends. * Subverted with this troper's friend. He was infamous for hitting on girls and going out with as many girls as humanly possible, despite having really well-combed hair and an interest in show choir, and many people who didn't know his romantic history thought him to be gay. [[TheUnreveal Then he came out.]] * This Troperette. Apparently being a tomboy with short hair after puberty means I'm a butch lesbian. Though the most prominent example I can think of..This one girl at work.. first thing she ever said to me was "you look like a lesbian! *giggles*" * This "pro-homo", yaoi-fangirl, tomboy tropette and her best friend (who gained the nickname 'Kitty' back when we were kids) are mistaken for lesbains a lot, most notebly by a gay couple at their wedding: --> Groom: Is she your girlfriend? --> Me: (splutter) No, (akward chuckle) no. ** Once again, this has happened. Our mutual (admitedly rude and pervy) friend asked me if we were, cos he wouldn't mind watching. Cue Spit Take. * This troper. Apparently not having a girlfriend = gay. I don't even fit in most of the stereotypes either. I haven't combed my hair in years, no fashion sense (is still told my clothes don't match), football fan and I walk like a gorilla (seriously trying to get out of this, it looks retarded I assure you). Nevertheless I've been asked several times if I was gay. ** Same. Except this Troper is mistaken for a lesbian because she didn't have a boyfriend at the time. I don't fit any stereotypes either, I just didn't want to be in a relationship and didn't find anyone attractive. Then, I met my boyfriend, and people told me to not bother crushing on him, because he's gay. He's not. We've been dating for 2 years and people still insist we're each other's {{Beard}}. * This troper keeps a score of how often he is asked if he is gay: at least 8 people that I can think of now, and at least two of those have asked multiple times. It always amuses me that they assume I must be straight after denying it - if I act like I'm gay, to the point of checking out hot guys, surely the next logical step would be to ask if I'm bi. According to my actually gay friend, at least 2 mutual friends + his mother also believe I am gay, but never ask. The again, I do sing the part of Mimi/Collins in our random RENT {{Group Songs}} * This troper is really tomboyish and is not looking for a

relationship. So of course her dad worries "oh no, SHE'S BUTCH!!!!". So now I carry a shoulderbag and paint my nails just to calm him down. * Two of this troper's best friends are * constantly* being mistaken for gay. In high school, one of our classmates started writing RealPeopleFanfiction (not kidding!) about everyone in our grade and they quickly became the FanPreferedCouple. The real irony? They are straight as arrows. Nobody even suspected that I was the gay one. ** ....Did I go to high school with you? I actually did this in high school and had my two good friends getting together and they became a FanPreferredCouple though both straight. * This troper's parents are still convinced that one of this troper's guy friends is gay. Just because he's an actor and was rather androgynous as a child doesn't mean... * This troper has a gay best friend. At an all boys catholic school. Doesn't like sports or other "manly" activities, preferring drama club or just reading a book. And is 100% straight. Though many people I know (both from my school and from out of it) are convinced that I'm gay, it actually stopped bugging me after a while and I came to regard it as simply inaccurate rather than insulting, as though someone was trying to convince me my (brown) hair is blonde. It definitely sucked when a girl I was interested in asked me how my boyfriend was doing, however. * This troper tries to make people think this, by saying really [[HoYay disturbing]] things. * Total inversion: despite ''actually'' being in a lesbian relationship, this troper and her partner are constantly mistaken for sisters by random passersby, shop clerks, waiters, and so forth. ** [[{{Rent}} "We's close."]] * Non-funny real-life example: This editor spent a good portion of his middle school years telling people "I'm not gay. I'm just autistic," due to people mistaking his mannerisms for stereotypical gay behavior. If it happened to someone else, it would have been funny. ** This troper graduated high school a year ago and is still having to tell people that. So hey, it's happening to someone else, there's your funny. ** This troper is in college, and apparently no one believes him when he explains that. ** This troper's pretty sure there's a few (or possibly a lot) of people who think he's gay, due to his Asperger's and not being very manly (skinny, likes to have somewhat long hair, likes fluffy and cute stuff), but it doesn't offend him at all. Instead I'm highly amused by it, and might actually rub it in. ...okay, so my favourite anime genre is Shonen-Ai (Ooooh, pretty boys!), and I think more flat-chested girls are attractive. Make of that what you want. *** That you're me + aspiedom? *** That there need to be a ''ton'' of guys [[GeekyTurnOn more like you]] out there? **** Um...[[LuminescentBlush blush...?]] ...that's me feeling embarassed...mostly...not that you would see much of it... **** This troper is both autistic and gay. I, too, was 'mistaken' for gay for years before I came out and now am often 'mistaken' by the LGBT community for autistic. It's all very confusing.

* Real life example: this troper heard from a psychology professor about a friend of hers who referred to his live-in girlfriend as his "partner" in a job interview. He got hired because the company wanted to appear more gay-friendly, and they were stuck with him when the truth came out. * This Troper and his best friend have been mistaken for gay at least twice that I can remember. We both find it hilarious. * This troper's friend attended High School at an Arts magnet school and dresses with notable flamboyance. He's fond of noting that he eventually had to come out as straight. * I'm an asexual, homoromantic pre-op transman! People don't really have a hope of getting it right! They also have trouble understanding this so I have to tell them that I'm a gay man, who isn't interested in sex and who is currently trapped in a female body (but not for much longer - YAY) ** I can relate (and also to the aspie example above), only I'm mtf and bi. Generally people just think I'm gay so, well, I go with it. Much, much easier and less awkward to explain. * This troper may be effete with a love of cooking and art, and can get very girly at a moment's notice, and acts incredibly gay at Rocky Horror, but is straight as an arrow. Still, many think otherwise. * This troper is often mistaken for homosexual when not being mistaken for someone of the opposite gender, which is often. I find it amusing and flattering, really. * This troper mentioned, during a seminar at University, that he was heterosexual. The response from his professor? 'I'd have lost a bet on that one.' Not the only time it's happened, but the most amusing incident that I can think of... * This troper totally failed to hook up with a girl visiting one of my friends once because the girl saw me with another friend and thought we were gay. * This troper and his buddy have been told by the one girl in our buddy trio not to try and pick up women together as we come off as gay to her some times, even though we aren't flamboyant and she knows are both straight. * This bi troper leans straight. He is rather effeminate in his mannerisms, and speaks towards the high end of tenor. Generally, people guess the other way, and of course [[NoBisexuals not just leaning]]. Recently, a regular customer at work asked a coworker where "the gay guy" was. * This troper has had girls attempt to set him up with their male friends, and attracts gay males. This only gets worse in foreign countries with people trying to get him to say something to hear the British accent. * This troper has been referred to as a lesbian. This troper is both straight and ''male.'' ** [[{{Bekeleven}} I]] (a male) have been hit on, persistently, by at least 4 lesbians, most only after they came out, and all independently of the others. It's gotten to the point where two of them hooked up and try to get me into threesomes. It wasn't so weird until I went to college, where nobody knew me, and within 3 weeks I had another lesbian stalker... Believe me, not as good as it sounds.

*** So you are monopolizing most of the luck of the world? You are pretty much CursedWithAwesome... *** I can't believe it, a real life UnwantedHarem... *** WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? When an average woman hits on you, you consider your options. When an attractive woman hits on you, you set a time and place to meet again, hoping to get laid. WHEN TWO ATTRACTIVE LESBIANS ASK IF YOU'D LIKE TO JOIN A THREESOME, YOU GET YOUR FUCKING COAT! **** To hell with the coat! You can get another! **** He didn't say the lesbians were attractive. But if they're at least average-looking I'd have to agree. *** You're the living proof tha being {{Bishounen}} does not work well in real life. Well, not as it is supposed to work, anyway. Ergo, I agree with the coat idea above. *** Well, wait if they're really lesbians than why would they be interested in a guy? Wouldn't that make them bi? *** After he specifically said "not as good as it sounds," too. [[CompletelyMissingThePoint Way to go.]] **** But it sounds so good that even if it wasn't as good as it sounds, it would ''still'' have to be really awesome. * This troper's sister and her boyfriend were once waiting for a ride outside a movie theater, when some guys came out of the bar next door and mistook them for lesbians. * Apparently in my high school gym class, staying quiet and out of everyone's way indicated homosexuality. At least the ''physical'' taunts (making humping motions and grunting at me whenever I bent over to tie my shoes, etc.) stopped after I threw one guy doing it into the lockers. ** This troper salutes you for doing so. Such taunts ''do'' get increasingly annoying. I would know, I once sent someone to the hospital because of them... Acidentally, mind you. ** This troper finds it hilarious that ''they'' would pretend to hump you and grunt and yet ''you'' were the one they called gay. That's not how it works! * This bisexual male troper has had this happen to him three times for completely different reasons, only one of which was "liking other boys" (his brother caught him watching gay porn). The other two were a girl couldn't understand why he was annoyed with her obsession with his smile and a girl who assumed he was gay because his starting moment of {{EmoTeen}}dom directly followed the first time he kissed a girl. * This ''other'' bisexual male troper once mentioned, in passing, how attractive another man was. A girl he was with made a sarcastic comment implying I was gay, as if it was a huge insult. So I ran with the AmbiguouslyGay comments, acting all the while like I wasn't getting the lame jokes, and she kept it up with a series of increasingly "cutting" remarks until her friend finally stopped her. What makes the story funny is that the friend didn't stop her because she was making herself look like an idiot, but because she was being "mean," even though I was blatantly setting up her lines. ** This same troper just thought of another good intentional, "let people assume what they will" instance. I'm currently in business with

an old friend, so he is quite literally my "partner," though he's straight as an arrow. I love to embarrass him this way. "Hi, I'm X, and this is my partner." Did I mention I do this in non-business contexts, to people who have no idea what we do for a living? He takes it in stride, though. ** Allow this troper to speak for a large part of the bisexuals out there. It's really amusing to play Main/AmbiguouslyGay. * Happened to this troper. By his parents. * This troper's friends joke about her being lesbian due to the fact she really doesn't care to date anyone at the moment (and hasn't dated anyone). She doesn't appreciate it. ** Same thing happens to this troper. {{It got worse}} when her sister joined in on the assumptions. * This troper repeatedly gets such mistakes from his sister. Admittedly I'm as gay as it's possible to be without actually being attracted to men, and usually go for tomboys. * Every time this troper and her mother go to Washington DC, they are presumed to be a couple. Strange, considering that last time, the troper brought her boyfriend as well. * This troper's best (male) friend in High School was a natural Gaydar Jammer, it really didn't help he looked like Mark from {{RENT}}. * This troper gets this normally, telling the person that "They're close," since this troper's bi. * This troper hates physical activity, loves theater, has two girls for best friends, writes romance fiction, and is rather sensitive in nature. Being mistaken for gay is pretty much a common occurrence by now. Heck, reading what he just wrote, ''this troper'' isn't sure if he may actually be gay. NotThatTheresAnythingWrongWithThat... * KrazehPenguin is called gay often because of how feminine he looks, and trys to act like, but he really only does that because he dislikes being a guy and guys in general. ** Transgender? * This male troper is sometimes mistaken for gay, probably because one of his best friends is openly gay as a...very gay thing. People have mistaken us for a couple. The funky thing is, I'm straight leaning bisexual and my girlfriend identifies herself as a lesbian. * Sophomore year of High school. This troper had gotten a new circle of friends, and he found out about halfway into the summer of that year that they had all assumed he was gay, and that one of the gay friends of his had even had a crush on him! * This Troper, being not terribly sociable, has only one really close friend. Since we do practically everything together, I have at least once been asked if we're gay (we're not). I've taken to introducing ourselves to people like this: --->"Hi, I'm This Troper, this is This Troper's Friend. We're not gay." ** This Troper feels your pain. MAN do I feel your pain. ** Thirded. It's been happening a lot lately. * This troper is asexual, and his best friend is supposedly a "closet" homosexual, but it's fairly obvious. I get called names far more often then I'd like, and the lack of girlfriends makes it harder to disprove. I consider asking someone out just to end it.

* This troper has gotten to really hate the underclassmen at his school since one of them assumed he was gay after he answered to the negative to "Do you have a girlfriend?" * This female troper was once mistaken for ''transsexual''. * This troper's brother was initially mistaken for gay by his future girlfriend. Weird part was that when she first met him, she still saw herself going out with him some day. * This troper, all the time. Doesn't help that she doesn't date much and can be rather outspoken about gay rights sometimes. But she mentions cute guys a lot, you'd think people would figure it out! ** This troper, all the time. Doesn't help that he doesn't date at all and can be rather outspoken about gay rights sometimes. And he mentions cute guys a lot, and checks them out with his gay best friend. And plays it up as much as he can, for kicks. And then is amused when people assume that he is straight, even though he is, when replying in the negative to "are you gay?". * This troper (gayer than the subtext in an episode of angel) and his ridiculously strait friend are constantly being assumed to hold each other's sexual preferences. Said friend is slim blonde and helps at charity events while the troper is roughly twice his mass dark and makes jokes that fall pretty seriously into the CompleteMonster catagory. * ThisTroper somewhat subverted this trope in a situation where she saw two of her female classmates hugging and said "How Romantic" in a sarcastic tone of voice, as a joke. Needless to say, a big argument ensued when said classmates thought I'd meant it for real, and I had to expain I was joking. * This troper is [=FtM=]. After telling his parents this his mother responded with "We though you were going to tell us you were gay." Close mom. Close. * This troper's friend once dated an extremely effeminate guy while at university, whom we all thought was gay. Another friend, who came from a town quite near to his, informed us, "he's not gay, he's just from Essex. They're all like that." * This troper went to basic training with a gentleman like this. He was then caught in the female laundry room with two other women in a state of undress. * [[{{Malchus}} This troper]] was recently mistaken for gay while clicking around ''this very wiki'' due to that excercise ad with the picture of the shirtless muscular guy. Well, okay, I am bi-curious. But I don't go around advertising that fact. And bi =/= gay anyway, strictly speaking. * This troper's father refers to his long-term live-in girlfriend as his "partner", reasonably enough. Confusion has ensued more than once, particularly when he goes on to add that said partner is a rugby player... * This troper is actually perpetually Mistaken for Straight. This is further exacerbated by the fact that her closest friend is essentially the male version of her. It's difficult to think of ''anyone'' who has met them both and not assumed they're together. * [[{{Pacific}} This troper]] was asexual for the first few years of middle school (10-14) and eventually, when I did become straight,

everyone assumed I was gay. I couldn't deny it easily, either, as I speak in a monotone. everyone thought I was faking it. * [[{{Sciatrix}} This asexual troper]] has been given the "if you are gay, it's okay, you can tell us" talk by her parents no less than ''four times''. (She's generally Mistaken For a Prepubescent Boy by strangers, though.) * This straight(?) troper has been assumed to be a lesbian since she was in fifth grade. The fact that she has never had a boyfriend doesn't help, and neither does the fact that calling herself straight feels a little like lying - she seems to be somewhere between straight and asexual, leaning more towards the latter. * This troper is 1) fairly masculine-looking and has a masculine personality, 2) asexual, so confuses guys by utter lack of interest and completely missing standard cues, and 3) frequently surrounded by pretty female friends who hug her and tell her they love her all the time. (We have a sort of joke love triangle going.) Yeah, I get this a lot. It probably doesn't help that I keep forgetting that new acquaintances don't know I'm asexual, so when people are joking around about guys and I say something like "yeah, I'm just the sort to go lusting after men, can't you tell?" sarcastically, it can give the wrong impression. * It can be funny (or extremely uncomfortable, YourMileageMayVary) to be a straight guy living in New York and getting hitting on by gays. * This (straight) troper has been mistaken for gay on several occasions and finds it hilarious. * This troper got asked by at least one girl a year during his high school career if he was gay...because being the shy, quiet one, who didnt ask many (...ok, any) girls out, and who enjoys reading a bit of paranormal romance once in awhile equals gay({{Not That Theres Anything Wrong With That}}...it became somewhat annoying after about the third time. * [[TromboneChild This troper's]] 16-year-old brother and his best friend have been HeterosexualLifePartners since the first grade. One or two months ago, some kids at school started making fun of them because they were sure that the two were a gay couple. My brother and his friend, who have Asperger's Syndrome and ADHD, respectively, were rather shocked and offended. I told my brother to say, "Yeah, we're starring in ''Brokeback Mountain 2: The Next Generation''." * Somehow, every single girl this troper is interested in has to ask if he's gay. Mostly, it's because he's willing to ''talk to other guys''. * [[AssumeAVirtue This troper]] curiously gets mistaken for gay about as often as he gets mistaken for catholic, despite being (a fairly liberal) protestant. * This (gay) troper met a guy with a limp wrist, a bit of a lisp, and a preference for wine and fruity drinks. Troper met Guy for coffee and went out to a party with him, but nothing happened. Months later, Guy thought it was important to email Troper and explain that he wasn't gay. Troper hadn't even thought about Guy for ages, and needless to say, he wasn't amused. * This troper is not a lesbian. She just really hates makeup. M'kay? ** This male troper is crying tears of joy for you. THANK YOU FOR NOT

CONFORMING. I prefer women who have a '''natural''' beauty, thank you very much! ** Those tears are a bit premature, seeing as she said in the same sentence that she's also a lesbian. Keep searching. ** She said she's not a lesbian, so those tears are right on time. * Due to this troper being a {{Bifauxnen}}, it's only natural that on occasion she has been mistaken for not only a lesbian but also for a gay guy. * This (straight female) Troper was once constantly being mistaken for a lesbian. Why? Because "you've got short hair." * HEADDESK* Eventually grew it long out of sheer irritation. * Happened to this Troper today. While in Latin class he took advantage of a momentary lull to exchange some words with third tier friends (one class only friends). The subject of Casino Royale came up and one of the friends said "Yah, Vesper Lynn was hot" to which the Troper replied "Dude, I know". Both friends turned in surprise and exclaimed "YOU'RE STRAIGHT!?". Queue Head on Desk. * This troper was raised by a single mother and hadn't much contact to other kids. And wasn't much into P.E. Apparently he picked up some typical female mannerisms, so he was asked in primary school by some bigger girls whether he was gay. This was before he learned WTH gay means. * [[{{Lockea}} This troper]] is an asexual who works with various social rights groups including a GSA. She didn't really care if she was mistaken for gay, until her parents started bugging her about it for weeks. Having a gay older sister didn't help anything. Also, in an inversion (mistaken for straight), this troper once agreed to double date with a gay couple, and took her bisexual best friend. Two men, two women. It must be a straight double date! Not a gay one! * This troper was occasionally mistaken for gay in high school, due to being a bit socially awkward and perpetually sans girlfriend at the time. Admittedly, it probably didn't help that he ''does'' have just a few bi-curious tendencies. * This troper was called gay a couple of times (if never ''directly'', but it was definitely implied) in high school; partly because he was involved with theater, partly because he spent a lot of time with a guy who was openly bi (who had been, y'know, [[HeterosexualLifePartners my best friend for years]]). It didn't help that practically every other guy involved in the theater program leaned towards the high end of the Kinsey scale. Man, high school sucked. For the record, I really dislike the stereotype that [[NotThatTheresAnythingWrongWithThat male actors are gay]]. * This troper has been mistaken for gay by many people including his own father until he brought home his third girlfriend. However, most females can tell he is straight; its normally gay men and paranoid fathers who doubt his heterosexuality. Of course, the theater, the cooking, the watching romance films, the reading shojo manga, the cosplaying and the hand gestures probably don't help... * This Troper is often times mistaken for a girl all because I like to wear my Hair long. He was once ven kicked out of a Men's bathroom at Movie Theater. * [[QuantumToast This troper]] had it happen once at school, largely

due to being [[{{Asexuality}} asexual]] without being aware of the concept. Not that I'd have done a good job of explaining it anyway. I also regularly get Mistaken For Bisexual by the ads on {{Facebook}}, presumably because I didn't enter either gender under "interested in". * This troper thinks it's safe to say that him and his cousin are HeterosexualLifePartners. This troper just ''knows'' that at least one person is thinking that we're a gay couple every time we go out to ''dinner and a movie''. It doesn't help that we really like to run with it for the lulz. And that the word "men" (and variations) is a meme between the two of us. And, well, a whole host of reasons, really. This troper has also been told that he's too good at doing a stereotypical gay voice to not be gay. * This Troper has been mistaken as or suspected to be gay three times so far: it may have something to do with his occasional effeminite mannerisms, his love of Drama, the fact that for a long time he showed no interest in girls and also because he often dances (fairly badly) in the middle of his school corridors to the tune in his head. The last action has led to him explaining that he's not gay, he's just weird. * This troper has a friend who acts like a stereotypical gay guy, so much that insisting that he's gay has become a running joke among his friends. (If you wanted to know, he has a high voice, loves musicals, and says "like" as much or even more than any girl I know.) Of course, he isn't gay at all. * Actually happened to me. In my last year of high school One of my co-workers happened to mention that they thought I was gay. This threw me for a loop so I went to school and asked some of my friends if they had ever thought I was gay. ALL of my female friends had thought I was gay for nearly five years, despite my having two serious girlfriends through this period. None of my male friends had ever thought I was gay, although everyone was able to agree that they thought I had a 'quality.'! * Two of my 8th-grade friends have convinced at least their janitor that they are dating with each other, and one was bored enough to buy the other flowers at a valentine's day dance. * A friend is MistakenForGay all this time. This troper was once coming home from a party with him and a girl; when the friend got off the metro, this troper turned to the girl and said: --> He's cute, isn't he? --> He sure is! You two make such a cute couple. --> What? He's straight! --> He's ''straight??'' [[indent:40:Not even for a minute had the possibility that he might be heterosexual even crossed her mind. The boy isn't even that flamey. (His opposite number would be the ostensibly heterosexual ''soldier'' that this troper's best (female) friend used to date, who constantly looked for excuses to [[EvenTheGuysWantHim tickle him, or "jokingly" make out with him,]] or stick his hands down his while dancing at a drag club.)]] * This troper's mother was insisting for some time that their neighbor's teenaged grandson was gay, because he doesn't demonstrate much interest in girls his own age. Troper kept arguing back that he

wasn't; she and the boy are fairly close and she reasoned she would have had some clue if he were. Turns out that the kid isn't gay, he just likes ''older'' women...and has, or at least had last summer, a crush on the troper. * This Christian troper recently decided that he was going to be celibate until he got married. When said troper explains this to women when turning down offers for sex, you should see the looks on their faces. The incredulous reactions fall between "You could just say you're not attracted to me" to "Oh, you're gay aren't you?". Ah, people.... ** Aw, I wish you were gay, the "saving it for someone special" thing is really cute. XP ** Dude. I totally understand. I don't date a lot because I don't really see the point until I'm in a position where I'm looking for a husband. The fact that I talk about my religious views without bashing homosexual people (you know, that whole love everyone and be humble when you speak thing a lot of people forget) and still have gay friends (Friend's who I've had since elementary and middle school) might make me come off as 'in the closet'. Ironically, none of my strait friends have ever asked me if I was gay. One of my gay friends did ask me "How do you know you're strait even though all your friends from middle school came out of the closet." I kinda just said, "Well...I've liked dudes, and never really liked girls." Of course...the fact that I'm vocal about believing that love is not a gender oriented thing can sometimes be confusing... ** This lesbian troper is the same way. And no, she still hasnt figured out how it'll work... * Happened twice to this troper. The first time, someone took my vocal support of gay rights as evidence of being gay. She became my girlfriend a few months later. The second time, my gender-neutral references to said girlfriend ("I was just talking to my ''friend''", "This is the same ''person'' we talked about before"), while attempting to mask the relationship, only made my mother suspect that I had a boyfriend instead. * Complete inversion: this troper still has to occasionaly remind people that he's gay. I guess people get thrown off by my complete lack of fashion sense, average grooming habits, utterly non-campy speaking/acting style, love of violent games/movies, taste in music (Madonna can go f*** herself, give me old school blues and rock), etc. I even had a therapist (deeply religious family) who insisted that I could not possibly be gay because of all that. * This troper likes to make dick jokes, and can actually look at a penis without feeling utter disgust (Meatspin desensitizes you rather quickly), and can, in fact, say the incredibly vulgar word "penis" (and its harsher synonyms). Therefore, according to a friend, this troper ''must'' be gay, because he doesn't stop talking about "male genitalia" (the only way this friend will ever refer to man-parts). * in an odd variant of this, when online this troper tends to get mistaken for being a gay guy, when she's actually a straight chick. * This troper just found out that her classmates, including some of her friends, have thought that she was a lesbian for the past ''four years''. She's straight, but doesn't feel the need to conform in style

and interest to the slutty clone army that encompasses most girls her age. * This troper is constantly accused of being in a threesome with her two best (female) friends. It's getting irritating. Of course, it's not like we're doing much to disprove the rumor (after the New Year's party incident, we've decided to just let things go as they will). Ironically, this troper actually is lesbian, and one of the other two is bi. This, in turn, leads to people (usually the ones who have figured out the threesome is just a rumor) assuming that we two are dating. We're not. Once again - IRRITATING. * This troper gets repeatedly pegged as bisexual, due to an interest in both anime and what'd be generally termed "GLBT issues". Apparently, all YaoiFangirl otaku are bi as the first day of spring. And my distaste at a classmate's soapbox ranting about bi people going to Extra Hell means that I liek the ladies as well as the gentlemen. And my ability to appreciate beauty aesthetically wherever it may lie. As does my lack of dating. And my physical revulsion at the thought of actual sexual contact with either gender. Makes perfect sense. Sure. (Also, for a while I had my hair cut in a really nice A-line which seemed to practically ''compel'' women to come along and run their fingers through the short, spiky hair at the nape of my neck. Good God, I wish they'd cut it out. My ''haircut'' makes me a target for instant LesYay. So now I'm growing my hair. Which only makes it worse.) I'm also frequently reined into doing "domestic" things with my older sister, who is... quite buxom, and blonde, and all in all looks nothing like me. (I'm a PaleSkinnedBrunette.) We go out to dinner a lot alone, buy paint together, shop for clothes, and go to movies. It'd be way more awkward if she weren't actually bi, and if I wasn't as attached to her as I am. ** [[NotThatTheresAnythingWrongWithThat Since when is the first day of Spring bisexual?]] * This Troper, back in high school, due to being a short-haired tomboy. Apparently having male friends and not sleeping with all of them equals Instant Lesbian. Even now, 10 years later, I'm expecting the "You can tell us anything" conversation pretty soon (I'm actually borderline asexual). * This troper's father drives a small purple Nissan Micra, wears immaculate polo neck jumpers and takes a strong interest in interior design. When my sister and I hang out with him, our uncle (his brother) often tags along for the ride. [[NotThatTheresAnythingWrongWithThat He loves cats and has braided hair]]. And he's straight, too. This situation has led to one or two awkward moments * Hands up all bisexuals who have been both Mistaken for Gay and Mistaken for Straight ''repeatedly''. * This is beginning to happen constantly with this troper, simply because she and [[HeterosexualLifePartners her best friend]] both have super short hair and hang out together as much as they can. Yes, we have no problem invading each other's personal space, but it's not like we're kissing or groping each other! It doesn't help that both wear androgynous clothing, so sometimes they're mistaken for gay ''boys''.

* This troper gets it a lot. His friends once dragged him along to a gay club for a laugh and the following conversation happened three times in ten minutes. --> Can I buy you a drink? --> Oh no, I'm not gay. --> ''Sure'' you aren't. * grope* * This troper is [[MistakenForGay Mistaken For Lesbian]], by ''her own father.'' Too bad she's straight and [[{{Asexuality}} kind of asexual.]] [[OverprotectiveDad Wow.]] [[AdultsAreUseless So]] [[ParentalObliviousness dense.]] * This troper is straight leaning towards asexual but was mistaken for bisexual at her work. Having a love for MindScrew she decided to run with it. * One of [[{{Bookhobbit}} this]] troper's friends is bisexual; he's constantly being mistaken for gay. This is probably because he fulfills nigh on all the stereotypes CampGay characters in media. The fact that he likes anime, considered for some reason a "girly" thing by [[ComplainingAboutShowsYouDontWatch many of the guys in this troper's hometown]], probably doesn't help. The troper herself is also, in a slightly rarer example, mistaken for asexual due to her analytical approach to physical appearance and relationships, along with a tendency to not find popular actors and singers, such as Orlando Bloom and Pete Wentz, to be especially attractive. She also expects to be mistaken for a lesbian eventually, thanks to the latter factor and the fact that she has an extremely androgynous personality, and loathes makeup and high heels. * Inversion: [[Tropers/SirPsychoSexy This troper]] is [[StraightGay mistaken for straight]]. A LOT. He actually has better luck getting [[UnwantedHarem straight women to chase after him]] than gay or bisexual men. However, when he meets up with {{Fag Hag}}s and {{Yaoi Fangirl}}s at conventions who are chasing him to "turn" him, within a matter of minutes, they're convinced that he's a straight guy lying about liking yaoi/men to [[BatmanGambit get into their pants]]. (Damn YuriFanboy-ness.) However, all of this is when [[{{Transsexual}} he passes as male]]...when read as his birth sex, he's easily mistaken for a middle-aged ButchLesbian...or a {{Transsexual}} who is transitioning from ''male-to-female''. ZigZaggingTrope does not even ''begin'' to cover this. * This troper. Too damn much. Once when I was getting lunch with a friend. Once by my mother. Once when a friend described me to another person as a "bear," meaning tall, heavy, and hairy (rather than tall, heavy, hairy, and gay). The chronic lack of a girlfriend doesn't help much either. * A friend of mine said he would call me that night. We both got very dirty looks. * A friend of mine was thought to be gay with his house mate. My sister and I are somtimes mistaken fo lesbians. It doesn't help that we are polar opposites and don't even look that much alike. * When this straight male troper was in high school, he signed up for home ec because he wanted to learn to cook and was the only male in the class. Within 30 minutes of the first class ending, several girls complained to the Principal that I was just there to get in their

pants. When I made it clear that I had no such intent, they complained to the principal that they shouldn't have to be in the same class with a "fag." Then then listed off all the "faggy" things I did. Amongst the highlights: ** Wore glasses. ** Liked to hang out in the library. ** Didn't play sports. ** Played flute in the school band. ** Was in Drama Club. ** Got straight A's ** The end of the conversation went like this: -->Me: Is the fact that I'm sexually attracted to women going to come into this argument at ANY point? -->Girls: But you said you didn't want to--->Me: I'm attracted to girls, I'm just not attracted to YOU. *** The administration still forced me to drop the class. ** What FILTHY DAMNABLE BITCHES! Hell, that sounds like a situation I may encounter in the future... *** I don't know who I should send this MacrossMissileMassacre to; those wretched girls or to the PointyHairedBoss principal who actually forced you to drop the class. *** In my opinion, they're all fucking idiots, putting you into a nowin situation! Seriously! If you're straight, you're out; if you're gay, you're out. God, how infuriating! ** I think this example should also be posted on TheUnfairSex Troper Tales page. * Maybe if [[{{Tropers/Vulpy}} I]] stopped smiling at passers-by so much, I wouldn't get hit on by guys so often. Then again, I assume that ''anyone'' smiling back is just being friendly, so I have a hard time telling if anyone's flirting. The end result? It isn't that my gay-dar's broken. I just have ''passive'' gay-dar. ** Dude, yes. This straight troper is almost forced to frown at guys just to not accidentally let one of them think he's gay. * Ugh, this happened to me. I'm a straight guy, but I didn't really become attracted to girls until I was 12. Until then I really didn't care for love or all that stuff. My friends and peers were convinced by the time I was 11 that I was gay. Cause you know, it's only one or the other as far as elementary kids are concerned. * Upon her joining Facebook, my mother saw that my friend regularly greets me with "Hey faggot" and similar terms. This caused her to ask my brother whether or not I am gay. I am a heterosexual yuri fanboy that doesn't even like being around most guys. Not that I make that very obvious, what with my obsession with lolita fashion, my effeminate mannerisms, my lack of a girlfriend, my dislike of muscle, my being naturally thin, my despising body hair aside from the long hair atop my head, my posters of visual kei bands covering my room's walls, and my inordinately high number of female friends. I just happen to like girls better in more ways than just sexual ones. I guess this means I am straighter than most straight guys, SO THERE. * Girls in my class often ask why I don't have a boyfriend (I'm a girl, too). My simplest, honest answer is [[DoesNotLikeMen boys don't interest me]]. This, to my frustration, automatically leads people to

think I'm lesbian. In all honesty, I'm not quite sure what I am yet. ** Asexual? *** Possibly, but I still declare openly when I think people (gender doesn't matter) are hot. **** You know, I was going to PotHole the "boys don't interest me" above, but I couldn't decide whether I should link it to DoesNotLikeMen or ''HaruhiSuzumiya.'' [[VisibleSilence ......]] S'at ''you'', Haruhi? ***** Heh, nah. I lean more towards DoesNotLikeMen. * This troper is straight as straight can be, but his father doesn't seem to think so, blatantly shoving him in the "right way", giving him playboy magazines and even pointing at any hot girl passing by for him. The problem is that my father thinks I'm gay simply because I don't swoon over any girl (mostly not even that "hot") because I prefer facial beauty and symmetric beauty to simply big butts and breasts, to what my old man simply cannot comprehend. * This female troper cut her hair short before transferring to a new school. Little did I know that the all-girl school that I was transferring to assumed that ALL short-haired girls are lesbian. * facepalm* * This troper and his good friend (who have been jokingly mistaken for gay by other friends) once went to an awesome local Italian restaurant for lunch, and said place was deserted except for me and him. This restaurant was already known by me as having very friendly staff and an owner that had a tendency to remember patrons. When my friend and I were ordering our food, he casually asked us whether we had any girlfriends. We both said no. Cue restaurant owner smiling and practically winking at us. I don't think I have eaten in at that restaurant since then for fear of him recognising me. * This troper, who really hopes she will not be identified, overheard a conversation between her friend and her friend's friend (all of us girls). The two embraced, and then my friend talked about her mother kept telling her "we love you, we love you", while her father kept saying "you'll never get a job, people will avoid you". Both girls push for gay rights, so I automatically assumed that she'd come out of the closet. At lunch, I joined a conversation where my friend announced that...she was thinking of going to college a year early. Which sorta makes sense with what I overheard...but I'm still confuzzled. * I am gay, but I have a slightly odd example that combines with RelativeError. Because of a distinct lack of familial resemblence, my very straight older brother tends to be mistaken for my boyfriend. We both think it's hilarious of course. Our parents, not so much. * I'm twenty-one. Not only have I never had a girlfriend, I've never had a FirstKiss. You do the math. ** This troper echos that. *** This troper is starting to feel nervous after reading this page. She is in the exact same situation as the troper above, and isn't very feminine (no makeup, baggy clothes especially during the winter, no interest in much of the stereotypical girly stuff, has). She also doesn't have any qualms about hanging out with guys as well as girls. But no-one has actually called her lesbian. The nervousness comes from

the fact that she doesn't know if people think of her that way and just haven't mentioned it, because she would very much like to get her first boyfriend while still in her twenties. * This Troper, due to being a AvPD Nerd. Unfortunately, ItGotWorse when he went on a cruise and rejected the opportunity to have a twogirl threesome. What, so not being a sex-crazed male stereotype means you're gay now? * This troper is likely frequently MistakenForGay, though no one has ever mentioned it to him. He's never had a real girlfriend or a real first kiss, and mostly hangs out with girls. He's not gay though, just shy and standoffish. * This troper gets a little ''cuddly'' [[RomanticTwoGirlFriendship around her female friends]] [[LesYay when bored]], leading others to think that she is, in fact, lesbian. She's straight, just goes to a boring all-girls school. Although she IS asking for it... * This troper is always MistakenForGay really, almost everyone thinks that he is gay and he is straight as an arrow , has always been stalked by gays who think that he is also gay and almost everyone in his family thinks that too, but i have a girlfriend and have been with 12 girls already ,maybe is the mannerism or the girly face or even the voice i don't know,then i moved to another city and in less than 6 months i already have been stalked for no less than 5 guys, it's quite bothersome... * [[SilverShoelaces This troper]] was [[MistakenForGay mistaken for straight]] at least six times in two weeks. As she was playing D&D with a bunch of friends, the guy who played the [[ChaoticEvil rogue]] referred to the guy playing the [[ChaoticStupid black mage]] (house rules character) as her boyfriend. This led to her confusion, and she pointed out that her character, a [[GenkiGirl bard]], did not have a boyfriend. About five minutes later, it dawned on her that he might have thought that the rogue was referring to the players and not the characters. And then a week later, one of the more tactless people in her anime club outright asked if that person was her boyfriend, and she took a few hours to set the record straight for everyone. The guy in question heard her exasperated story, gave her a cock-eyed look, and promptly asked her, "''Do'' you have a boyfriend?" ** And in a more [[IncrediblyLamePun straight]] example, when she was at the National Equality March, she met up with a friend she hadn't seen in a while, and all her friend's friends assumed she was lesbian. She realized that she was walking with a lesbian ''group'' about twenty minutes in. [[NotThatTheresAnythingWrongWithThat No wonder they assumed that she was lesbian....]] ** And this troper, for the record, is {{asexual}}. * This Troper is mistaken for gay so often, he's been thinking about just sticking with it. Of course, long-ish hair, glasses, lack of facial hair and disinterest in sports might throw some people off, along with, you know, being thirty-six and never having been on a date. * [[Tropers/ZiggyStardustForever This troper]] has Asperger's Syndrome, and has been accused of being a lesbian ever since she was ''10''. What part of, "I'm just not interested in dating", do they not understand?

* Back when I was about 13 or 14, I and another friend were Mistaken For Gay by everyone else in our class because we were pretty much joined at the hip, always sitting next to each other or hanging around with each other and so on (in truth we weren't even ''very'' best friends, but we were the only two from our friendship group in that class that year and disliked pretty much everyone else in the class). This is a sort of retroactive subversion, though -- at the time I was attracted to girls exclusively and I considered myself straight, but the very next year I started to develop an attraction to other guys and now generally prefer guys to girls (my friend, on the other hand, is genuinely straight). * This happens to this troper everythime she wears her "Gay Straight Alliance" shirt, as everyone seems to forget that there is a straight in that name. Ironically enough, she has no sexual orientation and the conversation usually goes as follows: ---> ''Person'': Oh, so you're gay? ---> ''Troper'': No. ---> ''Person'': Straight? ---> ''Troper'': No. ---> ''Person'': Bi? ---> ''Troper'': No. ---> ''Person'': Then what are you? ---> ''Troper'': Hell if I know. * There was one guy at my (former) high school whom I got to know as we were both in the school play; he was incredibly nice and charming, with a definite EvenTheGuysWantHim aura about him... anyway, I and pretty much everyone else assumed he was gay (from his mannerisms, tone of voice, the way he dressed, all the stereotypical things). One time I made some offhand remark that referred to him as gay, at which point he stared and said, "Hang on -- gay? I'm not gay." Cue three or four people in the immediate vicinity going, "You're ''not?'' What the hell?" For confirmation, we asked his friend (who was incidentally playing the male lead) if the guy was gay or not. The friend's response: "Him? Hell no. He's pretty much the straightest person ever." * Played painfully straight for [[{{Crion87}} this troper]] at school. Asperger's Syndrome, yeah sure, but this troper is fairly straight. Considering the lack of females like himself actually interested in sex, he actually at times [[{{HoYay}} wishes he was capable of turning]]. However he has had some luck, in terms of losing his V-card - not with a female Asperger Syndrome type though but still, a relatively good experience only soured by the fact she was [[{{EvilIsSexy}} nasty in the sense you wouldn't want]] [[{{IdiotBall}} as well]]... * ThisTroper (Asexual) has a LateToThePunchline moment about this, realizing only in college that alot of my highschool classmates thought that I was a lesbian, and that it has definitely occurred that it was a possibility to my parents, considering that I was not allowed to close the door when someone else was in my room male or female. That I went to prom with my best (straight female) friend probably didn't help. Even now I get it when I walk down the street with a friend, who to be fair is gay.

* [[{{evilpenguin556}} This troper]] so many times... Oh, so many times. * [[{{LoneCentrist}} This Troper]] went to his high school prom with a large group of friends rather than with a date. He needed a ride though, so he got one from his good male friend. Because somebody gave us bad directions, we arrived to the dinner at a restaurant late. The entire restaurant was filled with people going to the prom in their dresses and tuxedos. We go to the back of the restaurant, to find our group completely filling up a table, leaving no room for us. So we pulled a small table to the side close to our group. It was a sushi restaurant, and the waitress, who spoke very little English, came up to the two of us, and asked if we were a couple. Cue the two of us saying "NO! NO!" And my buddy nearly jumping backwards over his chair to another table. We ended up sitting at seperate tables off of the main table so this mistake wouldn't happen again... NotThatTheresAnythingWrongWithThat. * This Troper is semi-frequently Mistaken For Lesbian. Admittedly, she does have a tendancy to be rather huggy with her female friends, but this seems to be more to do with simply ''being'' friends with a girl who is openly bisexual. * This female troper has been asked several times if she was lesbian just because at the age of 16 she didn't have a boyfriend yet. * This troper's conservative parents seem to think that just because I support gay rights, I must be gay myself. * This(extremely gay) troper, despite having waist-length, meticulously cared for hair, and penchant for talking loudly about male genitals, is considered the straight guy for some unknown reason. * Throughout middle and High school this troper was consistently having to explain to people that I'm not gay. I guess that being articulate, erudite and vehemently hating most sports and being straight is too much for some people's brains to wrap around at that age. I've even been hit on by more than one gay guy. it gets irritating when they don't believe it when I tell them I'm not gay and I'm not interested. * This (female) troper's best (female) friend whom I spend all my time and have late-night phone conversations with is gay. Coupled with the fact that I've never had a boyfriend nor do I show any interest in men in general, a lot of people, including my own mother, think that I'm gay. In all seriousness, I'm not. [[{{Asexual}} I'm just not interested, is all]]. * This troper was utterly shocked to find out in his senior year of high school that many, many schoolmates and some teachers had him pegged for gay due to the number of girls he hung out with on a regular basis (ironically, his best friend is straight male; he was just never near my school, unlike female friends from outside school). What proved them wrong was when he had a regular girlfriend. Of course, it didn't work, because, apparently, the same people had pegged her as lesbian and, then, both of us as closeted and faking straightness for our parents. This was, in fact, totally absurd, but we didn't even try to correct them; it wasn't worth the effort. * I'm a girl, I don't really date, I prefer wearing baggy jeans and overly large shirts, I never wear make-up, and I wear suits to any

formal event. I also have lesbian parents. I found it hilarious when my mom told me that my grandparents think I am gay. So do my friends' parents. And I recently had to explain to my aunt that I wasn't, because it have become common knowledge in my family that I am. I am torn between {{facepalm}} and laughter for this. * I was mistaken for gay many times in high school. I was in drama, hung around with a group comprised of several girls and 2 gay guys, and didn't have a girlfriend. Apparently many people didn't see a reason why I wouldn't have a girlfriend (which did wonders for my self-esteem knowing that I wasn't unattractive). Eventually, after explaining that I wasn't gay a dozen times people stopped asking. * This troper has been Mistaken For Straight. * An asexual troper here who got a funky response from the girls I hang out with when I asked to see their Yaoi art. * I'm also asexual. I play it for laughs though. * This troper is constantly mistaken for a lesbian, usually with a random friend of hers being mistaken for her girlfriend. She doesn't mind. * This Troper has actually had a few variations on this, he looks slightly effeminate, even more so when his hair drops over his face, and his [[HeterosexualLifePartners close friend]] looks very effeminate. They are commonly mistaken for both being a straight couple, the one who people think is female is about a 50/50 split, and being a gay couple (Though that's not to say that they don't '''constantly''' play up to this.) This troper and his girlfriend are sometimes mistaken for a lesbian couple, much to his girlfriends amusment. He has also been approached by many gay friends who have constantly told that him that he is a 'Gay Magnet'. He is completely straight. * This troper doesn't like to wear makeup, perfers comfy baggy clothes, and has always been a tomboy. Add to that she shows little interest in guys besides just being friends and has never been on a date or even been kissed at the age of 19. Yeah, she gets this alot. * Oh, you've noticed that I never express any interest in girls, fair enough. Did you also notice how I never express any interest in boys? There is a difference between homosexuality and just not meeting anyone yet. (Though I am beginning to suspect that I'm asexual) * Male, bisexual. All the girls I meet assume I'm gay, but all the cute guys think I'm straight. As a result, I have a lot of awesome, and frankly quite attractive, friends, but no luck romantically. * Tropers/DesertDragon: I have the single worst {{Gaydar}} in the world. I have, on multiple occasions, hit on the one straight guy at a gay bar who's just there with his girlfriend and her friends. Recently, I thought a co-worker was gay and checking me out. He was cute, so I gave flirty glances of my own but wasn't quite sure how to strike up conversation. Then later, I saw him walking down the hall holding hands with this girl, whom I had previously thought was his FagHag. So yeah, he probably thinks I'm some creepy StalkerWithACrush by now. * In my sophomore year of High-School, my english teacher thought it was a good idea to seperate us into small groups based on gender, which I dreaded instantly, as I tend to get a long better with males

than females, due to being a gamer chick whom loves heavy metal, martial arts, horror movies and motorcycles, and the majority of the girls in that particular class were pink-wearing, skimpily dressed, Desperate Housewives-material. So as soon as we got situated, all the girls in my group started talking about their boyfriends, their drunken clubbing escapades, and finally they all started debating who the cutest boy in class was. I was single at the time, so of course they naturally started heckling me about who I thought was hot/wanted to date. The situation quickly became awkward, because again I considered the majority of the guys to be just friends, and the ones I didn't hang out with were the ones I thought were freaking idiots, as they were convinced I made up the words 'Morbid' and 'Gag', and were also shocked to find 'Whole' is spelt with a W. Long story short, the girls figured out I didn't want to get into the pants of any of the guys at school, so maybe there was an actor I thought was sexy? Blushing, I admitted that I thought Cillian Murphy was pretty fine....And they immediately assumed that he's a woman, and started yelling that 'Angel is a lebian'. Cue the headdesk. Though in hindsight, I think it was kinda funny, not to mention ironic, because I am rather Bisexual now...Yummm, Michelle Rodriguez. * Happened once and later somehow averted by this (asexual) troper. She's [[TheChick the only girl among a large group of boys]] but with no intentions of dating any of them nor any other boy. She does hang around with one girl and two of her friends, however, but she once mistook one of those two friends for a guy and still catches herself caught off guard lying her head flirtatiously on the girl's shoulder in the lunch line. This troper could probably add much more to this list, but this has rarely ever happened. Once a male friend said, "Have you ever liked a girl but just couldn't bring yourself to tell her?" but this was just a small slip that I didn't even notice until another male friend pointed out that the answer would be "No" because I'm a girl. And before then, during recess back in third grade, my friend Alexandra and I were approached by [[TheLibby some snooty popular chick]] who asked, [[SchoolgirlLesbians "Do you two like each other?"]] I, being just the tender age of 8, naively answered "Yes" but was later told by my friend that she meant "like" and in "love". I'm just surprised that this happened when I was young and still homophobic rather than when it was averted while I was still questioning my own sexuality. * This troper and a few of her friends decided to go clubbing in Ann Arbor one night. I was going through an insane ''MorkAndMindy'' phase at the time (note: I am NOT {{Lurkerbunny}}) and I decided to wear a T-shirt I refashioned myself, with a Mork graphic on it. It laced up the sides with rainbow ribbons, and I wore other rainbow accessories to complement it. Turns out we spaced on the date -- it wasn't College Night that night. It was Pride Friday. I spent the better part of the night being followed around by a herd of [[TheTwink twinks]] commenting on my rainbow leg warmers and being approached by [[LipstickLesbian various well-dressed girls]] to participate in threesomes. --> '''Demetri Martin:''' "It's weird how one group took refracted light. That's very greedy, gays."

* I am an asexual, but my entire art class (save two or three people and the teacher) thinks that I'm gay. For various reasons, including: 1) I hate sports, 2) I obsess over the state of my female friend's hair, 3) I am very skinny, very tall and have a fairly good complexion, 4) I brag about being a good cook and 5) have never had a girlfriend. Another boy in my class is named Osama. He is most likely metrosexual- straight, but acts gay. This led to a very funny (only in retrospect; at the moment, very creepy) moment a few months ago. I was walking over to the cabinet to get some paint and when I walked past this one girl covered up her papers and started blushing profusely. When I asked her what it was about, she showed me the picture she was drawing: a slash picture of me and Osama. She apologized many times after I told her I wasn't gay. Very funny in retrospect. Very creepy at the time. * This Troper's father once asked if BobAndGeorge was a comic about gays. Well, there's Alternate George and Top Man, but all he knew about the comic was the title. * [[neves783 This Troper]] had a really annoying encounter with this trope: I, a self-professed straight man, posed for a photo, with a hand on a waist. Such gesture is, on my anger, associated with the Miss Universe contestants! I only realized this when, on my Facebook account, a lot of ''male'' bullies tagged my said photo and commented with the likes of "How gay!". I'll never post similar pictures again after that! * This asexual female Troper was mistaken for being a lesbian throughout her school years, as her best friend was lesbian. She took her best friend to the prom at the end of the year, but that was only cause we were both single. Now people tend to ship her with a guy she is very close to. Too bad he is her twin brother......and thats just wrong! * This troper is continuously mistaken for gay, even though she is a lesbian, her body is male, and pretty masculine at that. It gets to a ridiculous level when people then act like she is a straight male. ** Are you the protagonist of ''All You Zombies''? * This troper's fundamentalist Pentecostal parents were RELIEVED to spot deleted female nude pictures in his Recycle Bin, because it meant he was not, as they feared, gay. They're not the first: he often hears "Are you SURE you're not gay?". Being fond of musicals and prone to man-crushes does not help. * This (male, and at the time in the closet) troper was mistaken for a lesbian one night in a common room at his foremer college. I was lying on a 4-seater couch in the dark watching a back and white film noir on tv (so teh room was very poorly lit), with my shirt off (it was summer and the AC was broken), and a girl came in from behind me, sat down on the arm where I couldn't see her, and she leant down over me, behind my head, and sarted stroking my stomach. I was 17, and had very little body hair, but I was also quite slim. I reacted as most lads of that age would, and started to caress her, but as i started to fondler her breasts, she started to feel my shoulders and back (this puzzles me greatly, but I was inexpeerienced and thoguht she knew what she was doing), then moved her hands around to my chest and began sliding them down my pecs from my shoulders, and she said "woah, topless, that's

pretty brave". I just went "Ummm...", and she slid her hands down over my nipples and leapt up and excalimed "Oh, shit, you're male" * An amazing subversion happened to ThisTroper. He was chatting with a woman at an event when he casually mentioned his sexual orientation. "Oh, you're gay?" she said. I said yes. "Oh," she said. "That's too bad, I was going to hit on you. Maybe you should wear some kind of a sign." ''I was wearing a bright magenta shirt, a black sleeveless hoodie, Chucks with magenta-and-black checked shoelaces, and magentaand-black checked elbow-length fingerless gloves!!'' I'm not sure how much more of a sign I could have been wearing! * This Troper did not have a girlfriend until he was 18. On one occasion, my dad felt the need to go out of his way to tell me that if I decided to come out, he wouldn't judge me. I just got really confused, confirmed that it was a nice sentiment, but assured him that I was straight. It was a really random and awkward conversation. * ThisTroper was often target of this. Guess reading books, being polite and at times [[DeadpanSnarker Deadpan]] while always caring for the others makes a guy get the question "Are you gay?" disturbing often. Heck, even the last girlfriend ThisTroper was with asked that before everything. * This troper, at a campus LGBTQ organization nonetheless, gets frequently pegged as gay by some people and straight by others, despite repeatedly reminding people I'm bi/pan. Expect plenty more MistakenForGay when I come out as FtM, so...yeah. * This troper's straight male friend was asked out by another guy who assumed he was gay. Why? Because he's friends with this troper and her HeterosexualLifePartner, who the other guy assumed were a lesbian couple. So that was MistakenForGay twice at once. Another one of this troper's friend's mother assumed her father was gay. He's just a little bit CampStraight. * I (male, straight) was once referred to (jokingly) by a friend as her gay best friend. OK, so she was plaiting my newly straightened hair at the time (it was a dare, OK!) * [[strike:This troper is wrongly considered asexual by just about everyone in his school (I'm straight, ok). The fact I've never had a girlfriend probably causes this, because people never consider I might be too shy to ask someone out. I'm personally amazed I've never been Mistaken For Gay, as I've practically grown up with only my sister to talk to (not completely true, but I talk a lot more to her than anyone else and spent much of my childhood trusting only my sister: kinda embarrasing to think about now).]] ** Turns out, after a lot of thought about my past and realising that I've never felt a sexual attraction to anything, that I AM asexual. However, I plan to point out that being asexual doesn't mean I have no romantic interest in anything. So, my argument is now changing to "I'm asexual, but I'm hetroromantic, so still technically straight." Sometimes I wonder if people assume that all asexuals have no romantic interest just because they don't aim to get laid every night (and, in the same vein, that romantic interest is the same as sexual interest, but I digress slightly)... * This troper has had her sexuality questioned numerous times due to her lack of boyfriend. (It's because of numerous factors, including

living out in Dullsville, USA with no car, being around JerkAss guys and guys who were taken or gay, overprotective parents, and being kind of an oddball.) She went off to college, and it was a women's college. (It was well-known for this troper's major. Plus it allowed her to get away from the aforementioned JerkAss guys.) She was helping her mom fold towels, when out of the blue, her mother mentioned, "...And if you bring home a girl, I might not approve, but I will eventually come to accept it..." This troper looked at her mother in shock, "Excuuuuse me?!" * [[{{Kuiper}} This troper]] is genuinely surprised that he has mostly averted this trope. Seriously, take this into acount: ** He hates to play sports, except for volleyball and tennis. ** He has been in choir and FACS(Basically Home Ec with a name change). ** He likes to draw. ** He has had all of ''one'' crush throughout middle school. ** He is [[{{Asexuality}} asexual]]. *** However, he ''has'' had one moment of this, in choir, where they had a mock AmericanIdol. He was with his brother, and said brother was the "guest judge" dog whisperer. Trying to be funny, he played the dog. Cue IncestSubtext moment that caused the girls behind us to start giggling. * [[Tropers/LordPentium I]] had this happen on a few occasions in high school. It didn't help that I had a [[HeterosexualLifePartners rather close friendship with another guy]] that could easily be mistaken for HoYay, even having two "breakup" periods where I wasn't quite myself, and that I only got a girl to look at me as anything but a weirdo once, in a SpringtimeForHitler incident on Fail Day. Of course, the mistaken assumption that ''[[YouAreWhatYouHate everybody]]'' [[YouAreWhatYouHate who openly believes that homosexuality is wrong is secretly queer]] ended up translating into this. Oh, and being a fan of ProfessionalWrestling for the first half of high school, and a less masculine voice than I would like, and that neon green pimp jacket... OK, so I have a few ambiguous qualities, and my constantly hitting on a particular girl (and later, her younger sister, after the original was [[PutOnABus expelled due to alcohol possession]]) could have been seen as HaveIMentionedIAmHeterosexualToday, but I don't have a gay bone in my body. It ended after that girl was expelled anyway, or more specifically after I proved that, despite the ambiguous qualities, [[IKnowMortalKombat I wasn't playing Day of Reckoning 2 for men in tights]]. * This Troper is (1) intersex; (2) transsexual, though in light of point (1) from what to what is a bit of a dodgy question; and (3) asexual, though gyno- and transaffectionate. Raised as male, I was solidly filed away as "gay" by straight people, even when I was dating lesbians. (Remember the Rule of Straight Thinking: ambiguous gender == male and gay.) Gay men, on the other hand, were not fooled by the Gaydar Ground Clutter. They knew I had a bizarre radar signature they couldn't begin to figure out, but I surely wasn't gay. * [[{{Tropers/ICantThinkOfAWittyName}} This troper]] gets called a lesbian a lot. All because I don't date any guys, don't wear 10ft of makeup, don't wear a skirt that's two centimetres long, and prefers

not to bare my chest. I don't wear makeup because my face gets irritated from the chemicals and things, plus I'd prefer to let people see my true face. I don't wear skirts because trackpants are comfier and I don't like skirts. I don't bare my chest or my legs because I fought long and hard with eczema and general dermatitis, and I still have unsightly scabbing and scarring on my chest and legs. People have actually tried to peel my shirt off to see if I'm telling the truth. Please go away, I'm telling the truth. Want pictures of my hands and chest and face when I was itching them? ''They were red raw, broken and oozing.'' It looked like they were diseased. I doubt you could deal with that. * This female troper considered wearing pants to her 8th grade promotion ([[RealWomenNeverWearDresses I'm not a big dress person,]] but I wore one anyway). My mom told me that there was one girl at the school my dad works at who wore pants, but she was a lesbian. I had to assure my own mother I was not gay. The fact I'ver never had a boyfriend and I'm more interested in boy fashion doesn't help either. (Boy school uniforms are adorable, I can't help it.) * Due to his fashion sense, and the fact that he's a male working in a hair salon, this troper is often MistakenForGay, they're half right though, I'm bisexual, my gay side just shows more * This troper is a closeted MTF transsexual, likes women, is pro-gay rights, looks like a [[HardGay proverbial gay bear]], (though a tad short), and goes to school with one of his two sister, (triplets). It seems people either think I'm gay, [[BrotherSisterIncest or I'm with that "cute girl with short hair on the soccer team]], i.e. my sister (mistaken for non-incest??? or for incest???) , who also is mistaken for gay. Actually, one of my friends guessed right, based on the fact I repeatedly played girl characters in games and pursued the GayOption when available. Run-on sentence.... * This troper is quite confused but believes that she is asexual. She was mistaken for lesbian for years due to a rather bad case of StrawFeminist which I grew out of, thank God. I've had to correct a fair number of people who thought I was a lesbian since then. * This troper's English teacher, the poor man. He has the stereotypical "gay" feminine sounding voice, is very metrosexual, and absolutely hilarious for it. Everyone loves him. However, Many new students still think he's gay; only problem is that he's ''not''. He has a wife and three kids, for chrisakes. * cue accusations of "in the closet"* <-- whatever. * All too often. I personally have had my sister, HeterosexualLifePartner and [[PsychoLesbian ex-girlfriend]] make this mistake. * [[IJVin I]] was at a restaurant on New Year's Eve when a good, close friend walked in. We were comfortable enough with each other and with ourselves that we ran into a hug shouting each other's names. Turns out my gay neighbor was in the restaurant, too. I introduced my friend and he introduced the guy who I assume was his date. Then he asked us, "So, where did you two meet?" I didn't think anything of it until he had walked away. * I knew a girl who was assumed to be a lesbian because she was a vegetarian. Seriously.

* I've known a few straight girls with butch haircuts. I also have a childhood friend who looks somewhat like a CampGay, but is happily married to a girl. * My Dad has been mistaken for gay a few times, being a hairdresser, he is kind of a target for it. Interestingly he has been mistaken for gay outside of work more often than when on business. Compare and contrast me, his perpetually single son, who likes cooking and is prone to attachment to cutesy things, who is never mistaken for gay, or at least hasn't been yet. * [[Tropers/NewKidOnTheBlock I]] got mistaken for gay a ''lot'' when I first arrived at my new school. My friend Kenny still teases me all the time about my supposed CampStraight mannerisms. * This troper, being a short, slim, effeminate, Asian who is [[YoungerThanTheyLook younger than they look]], is occasionally mistaken for being gay. It doesn't help that he is metrosexual, loves clothes, shopping, insists on being a [[SharpDressedMan sharp dressed man]], cooking, writing poetry, theater and knows shiatsu. Long time friends still tease him on occasion, and still ship him with other male friends. Often leads to [[HaveIMentionedIAmHeterosexualToday Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today]]. * This troper is yet another aspie. I have had to tell my own brother that I'm straight about 100 times by now. It doesn't help that one of my friends at school IS gay. * This troper's coworker regularly bemoans the fact that he can't find a girlfriend because everyone thinks he's gay. When the troper pointed out that he's obsessed with clothes, shoes, musical theatre and cooking, which can confuse a certain type of mind, he returned that a woman who wears combat boots, drinks bourbon straight-up, plays the drums and aggressively pursues cute boys should have more sympathy. * This tropette has a pair of friends who had a vicious lesbian rumor spread about them because (IANMTU) they were ''holding hands'' in Spanish class. Needless to say, this tropette does not live in a homofriendly area. * This troper goes out of his way to make sure people are aware of his asexuality, but has been mistaken for straight and gay. At least once by the same person, which I admit to have brought upon myself by giving the MathematiciansAnswer. On an unrelated note, he has intentionally placed himself on the other side of this trope by [[CrowningMomentOfFunny interrupting a straight couple's highly public moment of intimacy by saying "Go back to California, queers!"]], getting him more than a few strange looks. * This troper has been assumed to be gay by several people ever since grade school, even by people he has known for years. A large part of it is probably down to my being somewhat aloof, generally disinterested in relationships, mostly hanging around with girls, and having more than a few "gay mannerisms." In reality I'm completely straight and have spent the better part of two years pining for my female best friend. Whenever I'm not mistaken for gay I'm mistaken for being in a relationship with said friend, which can make going after women I'm actually interested in VERY damn frustrating. * Oh, joy...this went on for a while in late middle school, and carried over into highschool/university despite going to completely

institutions for all three with practically no overlap student-wise. Among the highlights for this troper are being hit on by his best friend, who he'd known since they were 10, and having a female friend in the closing days of highschool use the phrase, "Wait, you're ''not'' gay?" with genuine surprise (even when she attempted to play it off as a joke). In the case of the latter, in her defense, even this troper's closest friends were surprised that he had a girlfriend. Not because they thought he was gay, either, but because he just never brought it up. It probably doesn't help that he tends to give good relationship advice that most girls would expect from the 'gay best friend'. * This troper notices there appears to be a trend in people assuming that if one is disinterested in relationships, people mistake one for gay. This one has been mistaken for many things and gay is just another mark on hilarious misunderstandings score card. The best two were my best friend's, who I've known most of my life, sister thinking I was gay for a number of years and one guy my freshmen year in high school. The former was a simple mistake, the latter was someone playing on the assumption of disinterest = gay and constantly using the accusations to irritate. Thankfully most people since have just let me be. * [[Tropers/CommandoCrow This Troper]] and her mother were once [[ParentalIncest mistaken for gay with each other]]. NoJustNo . * This troper is mistaken for gay on a daily basis. In fact, a girl once asked him if he was gay, across the crowded classroom, while class was in session. The teacher didn't even respond. ** Though, the fact that most his friends are girls, and all his conversations with them cosist of discussing DesperateHousewives Glee and GreysAnatomy, each outfit is carefully color coordinated, lead actor in drama, lead soloist in show choir, plays flute, and acts gay with a guy friend to get on the nerves of all the BibleThumpers doesn't really help. I'm asexual by the way. * Sometimes, the girls in my class asks me if I think any boys in class are cute, or if I've had/have a boyfriend, and I say no, I don't. Then, I instantly have to add "and no, none of the girls either" because I just know they're going to ask. I'm straight as far as I know, I just haven't met any guys that interested me yet. (Actually, I sometimes wonder if I'm asexual...) * This very campy gay troper is frequently mistaken for being bi, apparently two of this troper's best friends think that never having a boyfriend means you're bi. ( I'm just shy-ish) A bi (male) friend of this troper also told him that he sends off "bi vibes". * This lesbian troper and her bisexual best friend, constantly. Though it probably doesn't help that her friend likes to retrieve things from this troper's bra in front of everyone, or that we have no problem eating lollies off each other's tongues during Truth or Dare. * [[ROFLopadous This Troper]] is mistaken for gay fairly often. She is a girl who prefers to wear men's clothing, loves to watch baseball, plays video games, and is still a virgin/hasn't had a boyfriend in 5 years. But on the other side of the coin, she's unathletic, loves cute things, squees like a fangirl over silly things, likes to bake, and hates almost all other sports (she can tolerate basketball and soccer

(for shallow reasons)). She can understand the shallow reasoning, but it still bugs her. * This troper is very much straight, but loves wearing Ties, vests, blazers, etc. I have very short hair and a low voice, to the point where my older sister said, "You know, [name] sometimes I wonder if you were supposed to be a flambouyant gay guy but came out wrong." The spanish teacher at my school even called me a gentleman, and it doesn't help that I have a gender neutral name. And I have a bunch of very very close girlfriends. * This Troper is a girl with a boy's name and a fondness for Chuck Taylors. Somehow, a good 75% of the people she knows are convinced she is gay. Her friends have found themselves arguing with random acquaintances over this. Not sure where the evidence for this has come from: many gay friends? GSA member? penchant for menswear? * This Troper actually decided to start fueling rumors that he was gay along with his best friend... back in the third grade. It seemed like a good idea at the time because back then we had a very limited understanding of how sexuality worked. It doesn't help that we have continued to spread this rumor just for laughs, nor does it help that this troper is a drama geek who feels more comfortable in a suit or a dress than normal clothes. I'm male by the by. * This Troper experienced the Mistaken For Bi varient. I'm in a very serious relationship with a girl at the moment, and knowing this, my gay friend knew I wasn't gay as well. The following conversation ensued: ** Friend: [Adekis], I hope you don't mind me asking, but... do your parents know? ** Me: Know what? ** Friend: That you're bi. ** Me: Well, I** Friend: If you don't wanna say that's alright, but** Me: I'm not bi. It turned into a CrowningMomentOfFunny because I started laughing my ass off and he wouldn't quit apologizing. His excuse? He thought nobody straight would be friends with him because he was gay. It's just so damned funny! Fortunately, I set the record [[IncrediblyLamePun straight]] with him for that. * This troper's boyfriend was mistaken for gay, by her parents. They told me one or two months after we started going out. It was not funny. I have no any idea why they tought that. He was a computer geek with no sense of fashion and even though I was his first girlfriend at the age of 19, he did have a girlfriend! I told them that that [[ShipperOnDeck all my friends and all his friends were pushing us to match up]], which was true. [[HappilyEverAfter We are still together after 11 years.]] * This Troper once heard her mother talking with a friend and telling her about her brother/my uncle and how their family had mistaken him for gay for years, because he didn't bring home any girlfriends. Now he's married with a kid, so they were wrong, but given how my mother seemed to be relieved by that fact, it makes me quite nervous to think I'll have to come out as bisexual to my parents some day. On that note, when I met with the LGBT group of my university for the first

time, one of the guys automatically assumed I was a lesbian. Not totally wrong, since my bisexuality leans more towards women, but still. * I remember back at junior high, I had a huge crush on a girl, which almost got to full-blown stalking, so I decided to back off to avoid scaring her. Years later, a friend of mine tells me she more than once asked him if I was gay. * I have this happen to me, since I don't have a boyfriend, or talk to boys, and hang out with only girls. My grandma tends to worry about this. ** Grandmothers are bad like that. This male trooper's grandmother, after my sister announced her engagement, has been asking repetitively about if I know any 'special young women.' It got to the point where, I swear to God, she offered me a gym membership because there were: "Lots of lovely young ladies down at the gym. And men." FACEPALM. You know you're in trouble when you're grandma thinks your gay. * This Troper is by no means an artist but he enjoys drawing, and it just so happens that his preferred art style is "Manga/Anime" and it also just so happens that a majority of the characters he draws happen to be [[{{Bishonen}} Young, buff, effeminate males]]. And according to some of this tropers so-called ''friends'', since he draws ''"Buff looking dudes with half of their clothes torn off"'' (Their words, not mine), He '''Must''' be gay...apparntly they overlook ''the blood they're covered in and the swords they're holding''. ** They must think you're gay and [[{{Squick}} ''into'' that]]. * This troper had an odd one. He's usually mistaken for straight, which is fine since he's in a relationship with a girl (I'm bi, so is she) but his previous relationship was with a boy, and my mum kept using the word "gay". [[WallBanger Even though I was in a relationship with a girl before THAT and ''she knew it.'']] * This troper once fell for a guy who appeared to be gay. As it turned out, despite his mannerism suggesting as such, he was straight, though if he ever turns out to be trapped in the closet, I wouldn't be surprised. * This troper, very often. Short hair, androgynous clothing, no boyfriend = she must be a lesbian! It turns out they're only halfright--I'm pan but closeted--but I resent being stereotyped. ** More recently I was informed that apparently a few acquaintances think that because I have no boyfriend, I'm asexual. Their exact line of reasoning was, "She only ever talks about being attracted to [[ChristopherEccleston old]] [[AlanRickman British]] [[HughLaurie guys]]!" I don't know what's funnier--that their guess was so completely wrong, or the implications that apparently, as asexual people aren't sexually attracted to people, old British guys aren't a valid option for attraction/don't exist. * My entire school year (and a few other years) are convinced that I'm a lesbian. Subverted though as I'm a homo-romantic asexual. * "This guy's pecs are HUGE" "[sarcastically] ...yummy..." And now my friends have a running joke that I'm gay, though they know I'm straight. Strangers play this trope straight though, perhaps because of my skinny jeans, long hair, predispositoin to boutrs of high pitched crazy giggling, and my anti-homophobic beliefs.

* This Troper, to his great embarrassment and little irritation, regularly gets hit on by homosexual men while walking through some of the more LGBT friendly neighborhoods of certain cities. It's a combination of his (admittedly) somewhat waifish looks (Some say I look bishonen, although that's not exactly the word to use in my opinion since it usually refers to guys who are ''universally'' attractive, not just attractive in a feminine way), very unmanly behavior (sometimes downright womanly...) and his tendency to only hang around with girls (most of my male friends prefer staying at home playing D&D, so I usually go out to the city with female friends). I guess it's flattering that some people think I am pretty enough to hit on me, but I would really like it better if they were girls... * This troper recently learnt that "Oh my god I love your dress!" is not the most heterosexual of first impressions to make on someone. At one point I actually had to go through a whole coming-out thing with my parents, except I had to come out as straight since [[CampStraight even they had assumed I was gay]] xD * This tropette, who is infamous in her Nakama as being the born-again Christian/Republican with a raging crush on David Tennant, gets mistaken as a lesbian on a daily basis. Why? Because I have very short hair, wear nerdy T-shirts, and never had a boyfriend. * This troper has never had a boyfriend, doesn't wear makeup, and the only two friends in her grade are male. So naturally, this trope has come up from everyone (parents included). The sad thing is, I'm not sure either... * This troper had this happen multiple times, due to my preference to stay out of relationships with girls, dislike of many "manly" things (like sports; I prefer drawing and acting), and almost brotherly feelings towards his (all-male, mind you) {{Nakama}}. * This troper subverts this trope, having a female friend who lets this troper hang on her shoulders or cling to her arm all the time (including during school presentations in front of the class), and never being questioned at all. * [[{{Tropers/skraeglingdeshou4386}} This troper]] likes women yet is quite picky, cue the classic: Do you really like girls?. * This troper has had this from her ''parents''. And, not really anyone else, vocally at least. Except her art teacher, because on top of being a {{Bifauxnen}} and not having a boyfriend, she was drawing a picture of a girl in class- and was following the standard method and drawing the body before putting clothes on it. That prompted this gem. --->'''Art Teacher''': *sees picture* ...You know, Rian, if you ever have anything you need to tell anyone, I'm here. * One of my girl friends (two words) from high school now looks like a {{butch lesbian}}, although her Facebook still says she's straight. A straight guy friend of mine also from high school looks rather [[CampGay campy]], especially with long hair. * Near the end of my high school career I discovered that I was presumed to be not only a lesbian, but sleeping with my best friend. We both were -- and still are -- quite feminine, but I suppose our friendship with several openly bisexual and lesbian girls ([[RomanticTwoGirlFriendship as well as her fondness for stroking my

then-extremely long hair whenever the urge struck her]]) prevailed in the eyes of our classmates. I recently told this story to my boyfriend, who was horribly disappointed, [[GirlOnGirlIsHot as guys are wont to be]], that it was merely a case of {{Mistaken For Gay}}. --* [[{{Tropers/JinxedBlackcat}} This Troper]] increasingly more often as time goes by. Being a {{Bifauxnen}} probably doesn't help my cause. Cause y'know [[{{SarcasmMode}} tomboys are total lesbians.]] It started at work after I became friends with another girl who latched on pretty quick since she didn't have any female friends to talk anime to. It wasn't long after did she get asked if we're dating. And at least one other woman at the store is still convinced that we love each other. (Nevermind that I'm an Ace and she's Straight) And then there was that waitress at the bar... I have a feeling this is going to happen unless I fake latch onto a guy. * This Troper was mistaken for a lesbian by several coworkers when I started my new job at a pizza bar. This was due to my light makeup, my love for rainbow-colored jewelry, and the fact that I never flirted with any male coworkers. In my defense, I [[CelibateHero hardly ever flirt with ''anyone'']], rarely male and never female. Also, I'm not going to wear full-blown makeup in a hot, sweaty kitchen just to prove I'm straight. [[CampStraight They got me on the rainbows, though.]] I just never grew out of my Lisa Frank accessories. Back to being MistakenForGay, NotThatTheresAnythingWrongWithThat. ---<<|TroperTales|>> )

MistakenForJunkie * This troper and his friends were walking back from a pizza place in a less than safe part of town. All of us had horrible allergies, that left our eyes puffy and red and all of (save for one) had hoodies on. Cue this troper saying "We look like such druggies right now, you're wearing a hoodie, she's wearing a hoodie, I'm wearing a hoodie." The one guy not wearing one says "What about me?" The rest of us immediately respond "You're black!" Many laughs and an hour's walk later we were actually stopped by a cop for the exact same reasons. * This troper's boyfriend was at the airport with his family, just after he'd had tests done on his eyes -- leaving them bloodshot, red, and puffy. Being a sales rep, he has two cell phones: one for personal calls, and one for business. However, the combination of those two things and the lack of context for them led to this conversation (albeit a hushed one) being overheard: --> '''Son:''' (''about ten'') Dad, why does that guy have two cell phones? --> '''Father:''' (''disapprovingly'') Because he's a drug dealer, son. * This troper pretty much has constant bloodshot eyes due to his dry eyes. Combined with my messy hair and fashion sense leads to a lot of these accusations.

* This Trooper had jaw surgery, and was given two types of painkillers. I would carry them with me because there were some days that by fifth hour, which started out being Choir but I dropped out and went to French, I was in a lot of pain. I tried to avoid taking them during school hours because of the fact that they would get me high, but fifth hour often required a lot of talking. Most of the four weeks I was dependent on painkillers I tried to take them on the bus ride home to avoid nights like the one where I cried on the way home because the pain was that bad. One girl saw me take half a Vicodin and after exclaiming "Oh my god are you on drugs?!" started telling me how she would talk to the counselor and get me help, until I directed attention to my swollen face and said I was prescribed these. She didn't get it. * I [[ChaoticNeutral do what I feel like doing at the moment]] so everyone thinks I'm high. * Invoked by this troper to have an excuse for not remembering an important detail therefore avoiding getting actually killed. ** What. ** Well, that sounds like an interesting story. Were you dealing with a psycho or do you just lead a dangerous life? * This troper was once in a geography lesson in high school, (bearing in mind that the high school had a high percentage of teenage pregnancies, under-age drinking and smoking) and was confronted by the teacher outside the class as I appeared to be in a daze, and add to that my extremely pale complexion, with the following: "are you taking something or drinking as you appear to me to be heavily intoxicated".Not only was I 13 at the time, completely sober, and had never touched drugs in my life, she took me beginning to laugh hysterically as a "Hell Yes!" and sent me to the pastoral office (imagine a principals office, but with a cranky PE teacher instead) * This troper was innocently sitting down in a nightclub with his drink, all quiet and innocent (his friend had wandered off with a girl) and some guy sits down next to me, matter-of-factly relates that he lost 12 grams of cocaine, and would I be able to give him a gram? Needless to say, I've never so much as seen a gram of cocaine in my life, but apparently something about my appearance says otherwise. * This troper's pupils don't contract properly ''ever''. This combined with the fact she's a bit [[PerkyGoth ...non-mainstream]] in an area where the drug of choice seems to marijuana has led to her ''repeatedly'' being [[MistakenForJunkie Mistaken For Stoned]]. * This troper didn't know it, but people have been assuming he is a drug addict for years now. I have trouble focusing on what people are saying if I don't find them interesting (basically, all small talk), so I would always end up drifting off. This, combined with some serious OCD and paranoia issues, along with my "peculiar way of walking" (I'm still not sure what they mean), has led just about everyone I meet to assume I'm stoned out of my mind 24/7. * This troper doesn't sleep much, giving me an aversion to bright light and bloodshot eyes, coupled with the fact I have a gruff voice, like a smokers rasp, and I wear a big hoodie which covers my face most of the time, has lead teachers to believe that I am constantly high. * This troper's odd eyes and {{Cloudcuckoolander}}-ish tendencies, in

addition to a perpetual case of near-insomnia, have led to more than a few "What do you ''mean'', you're not high?" conversations. He simply finds it hilarious. * Considering his pill burden (which is probably fairly light considering) [[{{Tropers/Crion87}} this troper]] is not looking forward to having to get the doctor's paperwork should he travel anywhere besides New Zealand or the UK. [[{{CrazyPrepared}} And getting it retyped in Spanish, Portuguese, French, German ''and'' Simplified Chinese]], [[{{MistakenForJunkie}} just in case]] (but more likely to not run afoul of possessing medication that is verboten in any particular hypothetical destination... * The time someone walked up to me on the street and asked me to sell them drugs should probably count. Note that I have never used drugs or alcohol in my life and my friends often remark on how upright and moral I am (and then try to corrupt me and fail). * Once in Spanish class, I cracked a joke about bad movie dubbing and how it makes some people think they ought to be high. Someone asked if I did drugs, and I answered, No necesito! while playing up the CloudCuckoolander act. When several of my classmates went "Huh?" the teacher filled in, "Hear what he said? He doesn't need 'em, he's messed up enough already!" * This troper has very dark brown eyes. In certain lights, they blend into her pupils, making her eyes look incredibly dilated. If she had a nickel for every time a substitute teacher/TA asked if she was stoned, she wouldn't need a loan for grad school. * I had to show my ADHD medication prescription to my RA once. Since buying them to stay up to study or drink without passing out is an actual problem on campus, I wasn't annoyed. But I '''did''' start locking my dormroom door to make sure none of them were stolen by the other girls I lived with. * This troper, in middle school moreso than his current high school. You see, he stays up late a lot, only getting around 4 hours of sleep regularly back then. This caused him to frequently sleep in class, (Still stayed in honors though, and damn proud of it)and have a sleepy, drug-like demeanor, which led to him being considered a user and almost getting tested for drugs in his 6th freaking grade class! Bit better in high school, sleep schedules been put back in shape, but it still spreads around a bit due to occasional relapses. * I remember when I was 7 or so and my mom stopped to pick up her prescription on the way to drop me off at camp, I saw the sign "Drug Store" and basically flipped out. After that I frequently reminded my mom that "drugs are bad" and it took her a while to convince me that there was such a thing as a "prescription." Afterwards she complained to me a lot about D.A.R.E, the school-approved anti-drug propaganda, for failing to tell us ''why'' drugs are bad or even explaining what drugs ''are.'' * This troper is well known in her school for being very lazy and a CloudCuckooLander, this led to a few ''Alison's drunk/high'' jokes. Oddly enough, I had an....odd reaction to the various paint dyes because I was the only one who could smell the dyes and paints, it caused me to have a MushroomSamba when I accidently wiped some under my nose. No one suspected a thing.

* This troper had some kind of intense allergy reaction, because his entire left eye was red for a month. Just after he started to wear a hoodie jacket associeted with [[TheStoner stoners]]. He acquired this trope when his [[CloudCuckooLander CloudCuccolander nature]] was revealed when he was off [[WhatDoYouMeanItWasntMadeOnDrugs his medication for ADD.]] * This troper's younger brother, pre-jaw-surgery (trust me, this is important), was on a snowboarding trip when a girl approached him to ask if he had any 'dip'. As in, chewing tobacco. His lower jaw stuck out so far it looked like he had a wad of it tucked under his lip. Now that he's had this corrected, we're all sure nobody will make that mistake again. * I had a day that was like a comedy of errors that set me up to look like a junkie: -->Ex-friend of my room mate steals a bunch of cough medicine from a drug store and runs to the nearest place he can think of. -->That place is my apartment. He changes his mind though after trying to get in. -->The cops chase him, thinking I'm hiding him in the apartment. -->I have to take intramuscular injections of legal medicine and my box of hypodermic needles is out in the open. -->Recipe for instant accusation of heroin addiction! The cop ended up believing me though, thankfully and I wasn't arrested. ---Go back to rehab...oh, you're not? In that case, go back to MistakenForJunkie.

MistakenForPregnant * This troper has a stomach illness that is ALWAYS worse in the mornings... Which lead several of the doctors she went to, to ask if I was sure I wasn't pregnant. (The fact I was using Birth Control, so I could know for sure when my period was, didn't help.) It got to the point I'd point out I was a virgin EVERYTIME there was a new doctor. None of them believed me... [[SarcasmMode (Must be all those damn teenage hormones... )]] ** You and I must have the same problem. ** [[FridgeLogic Wait... You were both on Birth Control and virgin?]] There's something I don't get here. Back to the point, [[LordGacek this troper]] has this friend, who's got a little sister some 18 years younger than she is. She was mistaken for pregnant at least twice, when shopping for baby stuff for the little one. Once did the clerk look at her and ask, "So, the baby's going to come out in spring?". The second time, she was there with her father - the staff looked [[{{Lolicon}} severely]] {{squick}}ed. Ah, I forgot: for added fun, she insists on no sex before wedding. *** Birth control has uses other than, well, [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin controlling birth.]] It lightens your period, clears up acne, and is often prescribed to recovering anorexics because it increases estrogen production. *** And it can make the cramps less severe. This Troper has friends who went on the pill because they had horrible cramps.

** "I was using Birth Control, so I could know for sure when my period was." Didn't you know that The Pill locks down your period to exactly twenty-eight days? Sure, it's not the main function of the Pill, but having regular and predicable periods is ''a'' function. That's the explanation this male troper's logic can come up with. Refute or confirm as you so choose, original poster. ** Same Troper as directly above. I went to Wikipedia to confirm my hypothesis, and here's a salient quote from their article on [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_pill#Effectiveness The Pill]]: --->"The hormones in 'the Pill' can be used to treat some medical conditions, such as polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), endometriosis, adenomyosis, anemia related to menstruation, and painful menstruation (dysmenorrhea). In addition, oral contraceptives are often prescribed as medication for mild or moderate acne.[91] The pill can also induce menstruation on a regular schedule for women bothered by irregular menstrual cycles and certain disorders where there is dysfunctional uterine bleeding. In addition, the Pill provides some protection against breast growth that are not cancer, ectopic pregnancy, and vaginal dryness, and painful intercourse related to menopause." ** Beyond just the inconvenience of irregular periods--[[SarcasmMode yay emergency laundry]]-- there's the simple fact that associated symptoms (PMS, cramps, .) get more intense the longer it is between, leading to cases where 28 days might only render mild discomfort, while two months in between leads taking sick days and wanting to die. * Played straight with this troper, where one of my friends overheard me needing a private conversation with another friend, heard me say something about being unsure about telling my parents, and assumed I was pregnant. [[ComingOutStory The sort-of-reverse turned out to be true.]] * One of many unpublished novelists, This Troper is bad at thinking of names for characters in stories, and purchased a baby name book. A character was pregnant, so I squirreled away my mother's copy of What to Expect When You're Expecting as a resource, and I like looking at baby clothes, simply because they're so cute. You can see where this is going. ** Ditto on the baby name book front (that, and sometimes when I'm really bored I'll just start thumbing through the categorized lists in those books in the store because they can be really entertaining). I also had to do some research for an RP character who was just starting to show signs of pregnancy...yeah, not really a good thing to search for when your dad wanders by your computer. ** Budding novelists, there ''is'' always Behindthename.com. Extensive, free, and unlikely to make somebody think you're expecting. ** Meta-example: this troper is writing a novella in which the baby name book version happens to a character. (Her actual reason for buying the book is to point out the meaning of someone's name that happens to be a clue in the mystery she's solving.) * For several years, [[TromboneChild this troper's]] stomach was distended because I had developed many food intolerances and allergies over the years and I didn't know it. Once, I was playing with my then4-year-old cousin (now 6 years old), and he tried to pick me up (it didn't work). His head was pressed against my stomach, which stuck out

quite a bit, and he asked, "Are you gonna have a baby?" Not for at least another ten years. * [[{{Liangnui}} This troper]] gave a URL to a friend to help her some up with character names. It was for Babynames.com and her mother apparently said, "Is there something you need to tell me?" * A friend of this troper was having a problem with missing her period, and told the school nurse, who had her unknowingly take a pregnancy test. When the nurse returned to announce that the good news was that she wasn't pregnant, her surprised response was that she could have told her that. * When this troper was about four, my mother called up the grandmothers to give them a piece of news. Both assumed Mom was calling to say she was pregnant again since it had already happened four times before. She was actually calling to tell them about her impending hysterectomy. ** There was also a rather, odd, inversion with Mom's fourth pregnancy. She stopped by Dad's work to tell him, and when Dad wen't back in, one of the resident [[DeadpanSnarker deadpan snarkers]] asked; --->'''Coworker''': "What did your wife do, tell you she was pregnant?" --->'''Dad''':"... Yes." *** It didn't take long for that to spread like wildfire through the office because everyone was convinced that Dad was just snarking back. It did make things somewhat easier when that pregnancy miscarried though. * This troper and a fellow (chubby but not pregnant) employee were cashing out a woman's enormous food order when this troper remarked that the baby clothes she was also buying were cute. Ensued a short conversation about baby clothing before the woman turned to this troper's helpful employee and said, "And when are you due?" This troper's stomach froze and dropped into her feet. Afterwards, the helpful employee asked this troper, red-faced, "Do...do I really look pregnant?!" I assured her that she did not, but the damage is done. * While it never happens to This Troper it happens '''A lot''' to this troper's Team Mom. Much to said friend's aggrivation...But what do you expect when one's maternal instincts are to freaking 11 and you get sick easy? * This troper's sister-in-law came to Christmas dinner and refused all alcoholic and caffeinated beverages. This troper at least suspected...before her brother blurted out that his wife had a bladder infection and was on antibiotics. * This troper once went to a party where she got asked this. [[SarcasmMode "Yeah, can't drink tonight. Apparently it's bad for my vacant womb."]] * This troper once visited Babies R Us, where she saw another woman shopping in the same section. The other woman was hugely pregnant and looked like she would deliver any day. This troper was a complete idiot and said something along the lines of "congrats" to her - which is when the other woman screamed "I'm not pregnant, it's a MEDICAL PROBLEM!!" and ran. ** At least you had a better excuse than normal with her in a Babies R

Us. * When [[{{eset}} this Troper's]] sister was in college, she got what we think in hindsight was stomach flu. When she went to the infirmary to get checked out, the nurse, without testing her, told her she was pregnant. When my sister argued that she was sure she wasn't, the nurse told her that she was bulemic, then, and if she just stopped throwing up she'd be fine. At that point my sister gave up. * This Troper spent her 21st birthday on the Greyhound bus from Nashville to Columbia, with the flu, while throwing up pumpkin pie. Apparently, being female and too sick to drink anything besides water makes you pregnant in the eyes of any male in the area. To top it off (though in their defense, they couldn't know this), this troper is a virgin, {{Asexual}}, and has never even had a first kiss or a boyfriend. And let me tell you, bus stations are no fun even when you're not ill or pissed off at the stupidity/ignorance of those around you... * This troper's aunt who just had a child out of wedlock said at Grandma's dinner table one day, "I have an announcement!" This troper's grandmother replied by [[DeadpanSnarker deadpanning]], "You're pregnant." She wasn't, but this troper snorted some of her soda out of her nose. * At an interschool competition, this troper's (non-participant) [[CoolTeacher teacher]] was so ill and all that she actually threw up outside. Cue a "Ma'am, are you pregnant?" from a concerned other teacher. * One time a friend of mine had to walk through a park that was filled with creepers, so she acted like she was pregnant to keep them away. Funniest. Thing. Ever. * This is actually one of my biggest (shallow as all hell) fears. I always wear form-fitting clothing so no one will ever make that mistake. * This troper is, well, a bit on the HollywoodPudgy side. And she has a blouse that she loves, but its empire waist legit looks like maternity wear. * This Troper was once mistaken for pregnant when she entered the room eating [[WackyCravings pecan pie, vanilla ice cream, and Claussen pickles.]] ** Mmm...that does sound good... * This troper and her best friend once mistook their science teacher for this. She wasn't, and we both felt like complete idiots afterwards. * This troper is as far from a fashionista as a girl can get, but whenever a woman wearing a babydoll dress or shirt is around I get to ranting about how a woman should only wear one if she's actually pregnant (note: I do not rant to the woman or rant where she can hear me; I either quietly rant to my mother or mentally do a monologue). I've yet to see a woman who could wear one and not look pregnant. In high school there would be a slim girl, and then, the next day, she'd show up looking six months pregnant, leaving this troper scrambling to wonder exactly what was going on. When it came to chubby girls, I'd wonder if they were pregnant or just chubby, which gave me a complex because I am chubby and hope to God no one ever thinks that happily

child-free me is pregnant. * Like an above troper, I was a virgin trying to get on hormonal contraception. "Are you pregnant? Is there any chance you could be pregnant?" Followed by the aide asking if I had any [=STDs=], if there was any possible chance I could have contracted one. Then, the aide asked me in several different ways if I had ever had sex/performed sexual actions. I somehow resisted saying, 'Dude, I've never been on a date, been kissed, or managed to bring myself to orgasm. Trust me, unless I'm Mother Mary reincarnated/there's an airborne STD, there's no possible way that either is an issue.' My chubbiness and lack of consistent periods probably didn't help my case. After the Q&A session, I was required to take a pregnancy test. Shock of shocks, it turned out negative. ** They always check for that when you go on birth control. Something about the possibility of you suing them if you are pregnant and something bad happens to baby. * In high school, whenever a teacher got pregnant, there's always that stage where they haven't said anything about it and they only look a little rounded. No matter how tempted I was to ask, I never did ''just in case'' she wasn't pregnant and was just getting fat. Whenever I got these suspicions they always WERE pregnant, but I prefer not to ask, just in case. ** Good rule, let's quote Brian Regan on this: "I met this woman recently; I could have sworn she was pregnant [...] I think the rule is: Dont guess at that ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever. Something like that. I didnt have enough evers memorized." * This Troper had a baby in April and still has not gotten rid of the baby fat. One day she was looking at the fantasy section in a bookstore and some lady comes up beside me (This Troper's hubby had the baby) and asks her when my baby is due. She looked at her and said, "I already had him." This Troper's hubby walks up at that moment, all cute as he always is pushing the baby stroller. She got out of there fast. * This troper was once working with a couple of promiscuous-looking older teens in a project for a fitness class. One of them, after asking me several questions like "Are you a freshman?" and "Is your fourth class Geometry?" boldly concluded, "So you're that pregnant girl, right?" Uh, sorry, but no...do I look like I could be? My choir teacher reassured me that this was indeed a compliment, because "Maybe they think you're pretty enough that somebody would want to have sex with you." My choir friends, who know what a prude I am, took this idea and ran with it simply to torture me. (And I also found out that said pregnant girl in my Geometry class was a friend of mine all throughout elementary school. Too bad. She's such a bright girl.) * Being slightly overweight runs in this troper's family. Her aunt happens to have that weight on her stomach. She has never had or wanted a child, but one time when she was at a fast food restaurant, the cashier asked her when the baby was due. She later asked my parents not "do I really look that fat?" but "do I really look that stupid?" Cue awkward moment because my parents had always wanted kids and didn't think it was stupid at all.

* I used to have a hugely fat ex-tomcat. He topped out around eighteen or nineteen pounds. This cat did not walk, he waddled. Especially after he started losing weight as he got really old (he lived to be almost twenty), he had huge hanging belly of fat and skin that kind of swung around below him as he walked and spread out around him when he sat down. So one day when he was probably around middle-aged we were getting some furniture delivered, and Mr. Dewlap came waddling into the room with his gut a-swinging. One of the deliverymen looked at him, and trying to be friendly, I guess, asked us, "So when are the kittens due?" * This happened to me as well. I tend to enjoy eating and I slump alot. One of my male classmates asked and I got embarassed badly. Ugh. * If This Troper gets mistaken for pregnant one more time, she's going to choke a bitch. * This Troper twice mistook a teacher for pregnant once. Thank god I didn't mention it because neither got any bigger and the second one looked close to giving birth, despite not doing so for the whole year I knew her. ** Hilariously, an inversion happened. A fellow student was about seven months along, but was short, so it showed even more. She was very open about it, but one time it was mentioned, this one guy said "Wait, she's pregnant?". All I could say was "Don't you usually sit next to her?". I mean, sure, you don't dare ask, but this is one of those times you shouldn't be surprised. ** Less hilariously, there were one or two students and a teacher that looked pregnant, but had tumors. * This troper. I've gotten sick twice from drinking expired, rancid, milk in my fridge. My classmates reaction? "Are you pregnant?" NO. ---Why don't you and the little one head back to MistakenForPregnant... wait what? ----

MistakenForRacist * This troper had a friend who was talking about zoo animals and said "We should send them all back to Africa!" Some people apparently overheard only that sentence and thought said friend was talking about African-Americans. ** That is sooooo funny! I mean, it's a completely understandable misunderstanding, but damn, it's hilarious! * This troper and his Chinese date were trying to pick a place to go. Troper instinctively picks a Chinese restaurant, because he really liked the place and it had good prices, not for ''any'' other reason. After seeing the cross-look on her face he hurriedly explained that he wasn't trying to be stereotypical. * While this troper was having lunch with a few friends, one of them tried to get the attention of another, who was Chinese, by calling, "Oi! Yellow person!" The rest of us were shocked, until the (embarrassed) speaker explained that she was referring to the bright yellow T-shirt which the other was wearing.

** That almost happened to this troper in gym class when she was pointing out stray balls in a game of dodgeball to others. Guy in green shirt = green guy, guy in Mario shirt = Mario, guy in yellow shirt who happens to be Chinese =... * This troper was accused of this in college because he said that, while it was very good, "I have a dream" was not Dr. King's best work, just his most famous. ** His best work, of course, ended with "[[TheBoondocks I'm going to Canada!]]" * This troper's friend said the teacher was telling us Black History Day facts that she had told us the day before and was accused of being racist. They weren't on good terms until about a week and a half later where the teacher saw how pissed off everyone else was and gave an apology. * A fun example for a change, this troper is running a roleplaying game and just got one of his players to fall into the classic trap when an npc expressed that they hate their job but need the money for their masters. That is, for their university fees not because they're some kind of slave. * I share the political opinions of my class's biggest racist. This would be OK, but he believes in them BECAUSE he's a racist, while I have valid points that have nothing to do with racism. Everyone is convinced I'm a racist too, because I also can laugh at everything, and racism and races are both funny topics. * This ''black'' troper was mistaken for racist in three [[SarcasmMode hilarious]] situations: ** She was at school in the cafeteria, sitting near a group of black students. She must've been [[AmbiguouslyBrown mistaken for another ethnicity]], because when she got up to leave, the students asked her if she was leaving the table because they were black. She told them that that wasn't and never would be the case, since she herself is black. They looked me up and down and laughed, asking, [[BerserkButton "No, seriously?"]] ** She was practicing Japanese numbers in school. She had written the character "roku" (meaning six) three times, but she'd written them rather sloppily, so they looked like "KKK." Before she could attempt a fourth one, some kids saw it and called her [[LogicBomb "racist against your own people."]] ** She was mistaken for racist towards white people, albeit jokingly. She was telling her parents about how the girls at school wore their hair the same way (long, blond highlights) and dressed the same way (tank tops, flip flops and jeans). She went on to say that she was having trouble telling the white girls at her school apart, and her father joked, "Uh-oh, that's racist." She clarified that she only said that because they were ''trying'' to look the same, not because they actually did. She'll probably NeverLiveItDown. * One of this troper's aunt's who is easily offended told us of a time when she took her oldest daughter to the zoo when she was a little girl, her daughter saw a little wide eyed, skinny, dark skinned girl clinging to her dad and said "Look mommy a monkey!" she quickly dragged her away. ** Is it sad that this Black Troper finds that hilarious?

* This troper is on occasion mistaken for racist until the people doing the mistaking realize that he hates everyone equally. I'm that kind of a person. * Once when I was jokingly messing up someone's typing, I accidentally typed "kkk". HilarityEnsues. ** As a youngie-youngin', [[MmmKay this troper]] used to type KKK for fun, but after learning about them, I instead now type "[[[TheSameButMore KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK]][[UpToEleven KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK]] [[OverlyLongGag KKKKKKKKKKK]][[OverlyLongGag KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK]]-]"... [-K...--] * This Jewish Troper, due to a complicated series of misunderstandings, was once mistaken for being a Neo-Nazi. ** You really must tell us that story one day. * This troper doesn't drink, doesn't go to nightclubs and the like, has a massive beard... Which led to the following question: "[[TheFundamentalist Are you a terrorist?]]" * This troper is annoyed to find that he is mistaken for racist by actual racists who don't realize they are racists. Goddamnit how could you make that many mistakes with only one person? * Not this troper, but a person I know cringes in fear whenever a black person is within close proximity. He attributes his so-called "afriphobia" to a childhood NoodleIncident regarding the poster child of MonsterClown and ScaryBlackMan. * This troper had a girl assume he was staring at her because she was Asian and somehow didn't belong. Quite the opposite, it was because she was damn fine. * This Troper was mistaken for racist when a woman overheard her say "niggardly." I don't think the she was satisfied with this troper's explanation. * [[ManCalledTrue This troper]] sometimes gets into trouble due to being visibly uncomfortable around minorities. Ironically, it's because he's actually afraid of offending someone - due to his OCD, the first thoughts that come to mind are racial slurs. * Did you know that there is almost no difference in colour between the skin of different races? The difference is in shading and the fact that the cones of your eye aren't evenly set out. Next time you see a person of another race to yourself you're going to give them a funny look, something I took months to stop doing while working in skin detection. * This Troper had several Latinos in her English class angry at her once. We were getting ready to do a group project, and due to my, uh...not getting along well with groups, the teacher wanted to avoid another blowout in class. So she told us that if there was anyone in class we absolutely did NOT want to work with, we should give her a note with their names. I realized afterwards that all the names I wrote were Latinos. Not because I'm racist, but because all of them had insulted me in the past. * This troper tends to get this a lot, though less because of my own slip-ups and more because I seem some kind of idiot magnet. To illustrate, here is an example:

** Me: "We should turn on the light, it's really dark in here." ** My Best Friend's Boyfriend: "Racist!" ** Me: (laughs, then realizes he's not joking. Goes awkwardly back to book as friend's boyfriend continues to mumble irritably.) ** Also: A classmate once scoffed at my own music choice and informed me that he 'only listens to REAL music, Mexican music.' Then called me racist when I said I was not a fan. Despite of the fact that I love Mexican food, want to visit the country someday, and have a lot of Mexican friends. *** Yeah, because racists don't like tacos or enchiladas nor do they ever visit foreign countries or have diverse "friends". *** Of course you can be racist and have friends outside of your race - since everyone is racist, at some level or another. Moreover, there are many PC types who loudly declare their '''HATRED''' of racism, yet only work with and befriend their own kind. Guess which kind of hypocrite I prefer... ** Also, the previously mentioned best friend spoke to one of her previously mentioned boyfriend's friends who walked away disgustedly when she mentioned Arnold Schwarzenegger and he insisted she's called him 'the n-word.' * This troper's best friend is black. While complaining about a sunburn on my arm, said best friend recommended a certain brand of lotion, as it really helps when she gets them. Without missing a beat, I responded with "you can get sunburned?" Foot. In. Mouth. ** Black girl I know says they almost never do. They just get darker. She's fine with me making jokes about that, because I mix it in with saying black people are superior because of their resistance to sunlight. *** Black people ''do'' get sunburned, just not as easily and it's not as noticeable, unless they're really light. I've seen it. * This black guy I knew once told a racial joke right next to me. Since I laugh at most jokes I ended up doing so. He suddenly looks at me and begins a long lecture that pretty much came to "you're a racist". I quickly tried to explain it away and just decided to give up before I ended up getting deeper in the hole (he eventually forgot about it and we became friends). ** Sounds like a prank to me. Why would he tell you a joke and not expect you to laugh at it? * This troper's brother played ''DawnOfWar'' online with army colours labeled "Ku Klux Klan". They were all white, and the Klan has these funny silly bedsheets. Yeah, in retrospect it was pretty insensitive. * Wanna guess my 20-something year old cousin's 1st word? If you guessed the N-word you are correct (in his defense, he was like 1 and obviously didn't know what it meant). That's not the funny part though. His mom once took him and his twin sister to the mall and, as if on cue, he yelled it a few seconds after they'd passed a pair of black women. Luckily the women didn't know who said it because my aunt hauled ass out of there. In case you're wondering how he got such a word in his vocabulary, he heard it from an older family member (as depression era old) after a black Chicago Bears player fumbled. * This normally long-haired troper once had to shave his head as a result of a bet. It took a long time to get used to the new hairstyle

and at first the only times I realised how I look were when I saw myself in the mirror. One night I went out wearing my usual hoodie, black leather jacket and black boots (this happened in late autumn, so it was pretty chilly). Then I encountered a black teenager out in the street. Only because of the look in his eyes did I start to realise that I look like a neo-Nazi skinhead. * This Troper remembers a time in her childhood when she had a Chinese classmate. When the Chinese New Year came, this troper wanted to tell him "Happy New Year", out of an innocent wish to honour him. Instead, she got pulled aside by a teacher and accused of bullying. * This Troper once saw a video on {{Youtube}} about a fake shipping company (Not ''that'' {{shipping}}). When talking about limitations, the CEO said he will not deliver to Cleveland because there are too many '''blocks''' there [to walk]. But because of the Fillipino accent...well, guess. ** The same Troper takes racism as {{Serious Business}} enough to the point of doing this trope '''very''' often. *** [[{{Berserk Button}} Don't tell me any jokes that would sound racist, ]][[{{Unfortunate Implications}} even if they are just unfortunate]]. **** I direct you, good sir, to PoliticalCorrectnessGoneMad. * Averted hard with this troper. For me it's an instinct, a natural biological action (used to differentiate between phenotypes, eventually leading to evolution of the subspecies into a stand-alone species) and also a matter of personal choice in ideology. I don't let it cloud my judgement, I don't let it break my trademark civility. But I exercise my right to freedom of association frequently. * This troper is a white South African - which means I experience this trope regularly, without even needing to say anything. Once when I was overseas, I started chatting to some German tourists - on finding out I was South African, one of them said, quite self-righteously, that he didn't want to associate himself with "a racist South African", cue me invoking GodwinsLaw... For the record, I'm from a family with a Jewish background, and some of my relatives died in the holocaust. * Yeah, if you're the TokenWhite in a group of friends (in my case, attending a majority Asian school meant most of my friends were of Chinese descent) and you have NWordPrivileges with them, it can lead to very awkward moments when third parties (say, for example, teachers) see how you interact, or when you're talking with people outside of that group. Not everyone realises that you're using NWordPrivileges ironically, or as a way of affectionate teasing. Likewise, I've had those same friends be Mistaken For Homophobic for similar reasons when invoking the privileges against me. * This troper has a deep dislike of all racist, bigoted, and fundamentalist thought, and often uses sarcasm when deriding it. But, combine this with a dislike of PC terminology, QuoteMining, and the stupidity of listeners, and apparently I have a reputation for being extremely racist. At worst, I think poorly of Everyone, regardless of race or gender. * This troper got accused of being a racist [[RuleOfThree 3 times]] while in a secondary school with lots of non-caucasian students, including teachers. It began with a conversation I had, as I was

always the topic of insults just because I didn't like football, and it sort of went like this (Warning: Serious case of foot in mouth ahead) *** Me: Man they talk so much shit about me. *** Black guy: What do you mean? *** Me: Like they say I do this, or do that. Next, they'll be saying I hate black people. *** Black guy: You hate black people? *** Me: Yeah. Stuff like that. ** It took me a while to notice the impact of those words, and when I realised the implication I thought '[[PrecisionFStrike FUCK]]' and panicked. Thankfully, due to a careful explanation (And lots and lots of crying, of which I am not ashamed) they forgot about it. The next two events were close but I diffused them quickly. * This troper was accused of this after not loaning someone a pencil, even after explaining that she didn't give them out anymore because she ''never'' got them back. Luckily, the other girl's friend had more sense than her, and told her how stupid her accusation was. She was rather embarrassed and apologized. * This troper was once loudly accused of being Hibernophobic after telling an "an Irishman walks into a bar" joke. For the record, this troper is half-Irish and is actively involved in cultural activities (dance, music, etc.) because she LOVES the culture so much. * This troper was out walking downtown in the evening by herself when she noticed a group of three black guys following her. I gave then a cagey look and sped up, prompting one of the guys to say "what, you're scared just 'cause we're black?" No, I'm scared because I have '''three random guys following me around after dark.''' ** This reminds me of a story I read where a black man suffering from insomnia went on a walk in the middle of the night. Disheveled, looking a bit desperate (due to lack of sleep) and walking furiously, he is saddened when lone women he encounters cross to the opposite side of the street. He said this was yet another example of racism. Oh, yeah, totally nothing to do with the fact that you are a huge, wild-eyed man pacing the street at ungodly hours of the night. *** Erm, the woman was walking the streets at the same "ungodly hours" as the black man, so that complaint is blatantly hypocritical. And discriminating big men is not the least bit better than discriminating black people. * In a reverse example, this South Asian troper was once involved in a conversation with a Caucasian classmate of his. It was pretty innocent at first, until she asked him if he was [[BollywoodNerd studying medicine]]. Curious to see what she would say, this troper then asked her, "What makes you think that?" Her reaction was [[OhCrap absolutely priceless]]. For the record, this troper is actually majoring in Playwriting. * This troper was playing Victoria II as Texas,and had managed to take over most of the Southwest US when the civil war broke out. However, not too long after, war was declared by Mexico. My immediate reaction was "Fucking Mexicans oughta get out of Arizona..." * Every time this tropette tries to distinguish an African-American in a group of non-Africans, she gets "That's ''RACIST''!" People, he's

not ''white''. It's a genuine observation. ** This troper gets that a lot, too. It's because of this that she started the Headscratchers page for this trope. * In Sweden, where this troper lives, long hair, beards, black boots and sir jewellery often gets one called out as a rasist. Or it would, were it any other part of the world. This being Sweden, people go around thinking it and talking about it behind your back for a couple of months before talking about it, resulting in a lot of angry glares and confusion. ** Another example from Sweden. Where this troper lives (and lots of other places) plenty of first and second generations of middle east refurges live as well, and it's apperantly okey for them to loudly talk crap about Sweden and the people living there but when a Swedish person says anything that bearly have anything to do with races they are racist. * In 9th grade, one of the kids who gave me crap on a regular basis was black. Because he gave me crap on a regular basis, I didn't like him. Makes sense, right? According to him, I didn't like him because he was black. On being informed that this was my REAL reason, I rolled my eyes and said loudly enough for the entire schoolyard to hear, "No, I can't stand you because you're an ASSHOLE!!!" From the look on his face, this thought had obviously never occurred to him. ** I had this exact same conversation with a platoon-mate in the Army. The guy was a serious jerk, constantly got in everyone's face about pretty much everyone, and when I called him on it he accused me of racism, saying that my problem with him was that he was black. My response was almost verbatim to yours: "No, my problem with you is that you're an asshole." (Followed by another platoon-mate... who happened to be black... saying "I've been wanting to say that for months...") * This troper's roommate once got into a debate with our assistant complex director over whether or not the FAFSA was mildly racist. My roommate argued that it was unfair that even if two people, one white and one black, grew up with the same family income in the same part of the same city with the same opportunities in life, the black person will be offered more federal aid money in their FAFSA report. Our assistant complex director said this wasn't unfair because black people have a harder time in life. My roommate said that our ACD's opinion was slightly racist against white people (since it was favoring black people over white people even though they're in the exact same situations); the ACD replied that it's impossible to be racist against white people, because "they're the majority." I'm still trying to figure out how being a majority means no one can hate you for your skin color. (Another friend argued that, by that logic, you can't be racist against Chinese people anymore, since they're the planetary majority.) ** Can we be friends? * Honestly, I'm not racist. I recognize that there are differences between races, but I don't go around pretending I'm better than everyone else simply because I'm caucasian. Unfortunately my father is racist against a lot of minority groups - Mexicans, African-Americans, Jews - and people often project those views onto me as well. It

doesn't help that I am [[AllGermansAreNazis blonde, blue-eyed, and part German]]. * Not ''quite'' playing this trope straight, because the guy never said anything, but as my sister and I were leaving a resturant, there was a black guy holding the door open for his friend. Me being TheDitz went through the door before realizing the friend was there, and I stepped to the side to let either her or my sister through the door. Unfortunately, this made it look like I was afraid of the black guy when I wasn't, which I didn't realize until my sister teased me about. I, being a worry-warter, felt really bad about that, and my sister said not to worry about it, because the guy was most likely used to stuff like that. '''[[SarcasmMode BECAUSE THAT MAKES IT SO MUCH BETTER.]]''' * This troper was once accused of being racist on this very wiki for pointing out that not only was BarackObama the first black president, he's also the eleventh Irish president. Why that would be racist, I have no idea, but there it is... * Inverted with This Troper. He's a white guy who knows every black joke on the planet, and will tell them to his black friends. And they laugh, secure in the knowledge that he's not a racist. He's still not quite at NWordPrivileges, but it's in the same spirit. * This troper sometimes is mistaken for racist for not wanting to use the public transport system at certain hours. I explain: at certain hours, most people using the subway or taking the buses are people from the poorer areas of this troper's city, and those people are often rude, unpolite, loud, with strong perfumes (mind you, a punch in the nose for this allergic troper), spacious, deaf with unpleasant music taste and dark skinned or of Northeastern origin (which, in this troper's city, seen in a xenophobic-ish way). It is not their ORIGIN that annoys me, it's their BEHAVIOR. ** Except when you mentioned "and dark skinned or of Northeastern origin"... ** Obviously, it was to illustrate why this comment belongs on "mistaken for RACIST" and not mistaken for...class-ist? * This troper was once shopping for shampoo with her mom. They went down one isle, and she said something like, "This is all for colored hair. Doesn't concern us." Her mom then called her a racist because it just so happened that a lot of the boxes had Black people on them. * This white troper was once accused of racism because she bad-mouthed about two ex-boyfriends, an African and an Indian. The thing is, she could hardly complain about her Caucasian exes, seeing as ''none'' of them WERE Caucasian... * This troper really dislikes racism, and as such makes a lot of jokes about racist views, at the expense of racists. He should have guessed that more than a few of these jokes would be mistaken for actural racism. His tendency to [[CrossesTheLineTwice take humour to darker places]] doesn't help. There was one such incident today for when I joked that the reason I hate racism is that it taints my ability to hate black people on their individual merits and that "sometimes, people are just dicks". * My friend knew a guy who for Halloween decided to dress like the people in the old iPod adverts. He dressed entirely in black with the

white headphones, including painting his face black. He then passed a group of black people in inner city Manchester. Safe to say they were not impressed. (i.e they beat him up) ** Damn, I feel so sorry for him. Did he or you explained the situation? If you did, then did they apologize, because I really think they should've. * When this troper saw on facebook that Bret Hart's jacket and sunglasses were stolen during a WWE European tour, I joked to "ask JTG". At the time, my cell phone number was on my page, and I recieved a call by someone who said I only accused JTG because he was black. My actual reasoning for the joke was that he was a member of the tag team "Cryme Tyme", whose gimmick involved stealing things. Had Eddie Guerrero still been alive, it would have been him "Lie, Cheat, and Steal". * This troper was accused of racism in her middle school homeroom. She happened to sit next to a boy who was a dick in general to her. One day, she dropped a ten-dollar bill and sort of overreacted when he went to pick it up, grabbing his wrist on a reflex. He immediately said it was because he was black. (It should be noted she hates bigots more than anything.) * This trope will apply to this troper one day (if it hasn't already). In one averted instance, I was writing a story where a white man called his biracial daughter 'monkey'. Then, I found out that black people were once frequently compared to monkeys as a way of calling them subhuman. So, now, I'm trying to figure out what animal name he can call her that isn't offensive (I refuse to believe that a parent who's called their black child an animal name as a term of endearment is non-existent, and as someone who was called 'monkey' by an aunt and is still called 'bear' by my mother, it's important to me that all my child characters have an animal name). So, that was averted, but let's just say that I'm both socially awkward and privileged and don't often think about how my actions could be constructed by those less privileged or how my privilege often comes into play, but I don't think I'm superior to anyone or harbour any stereotypical notions about people based on their race, religion, etc. ** Try 'kitten', 'puppy', 'duck', 'duckie', 'goose', 'piglet', 'butterfly', 'bumblebee', 'caterpillar', 'lambkin', or 'froggy'; all of which this troper has been called and has called multi-ethinic children many times * Though some people are truly mistaken for being racist when they aren't, many racists don't think they are racist and believe they're "[[OnlySaneMan just being honest]]" and that [[PoliticalCorrectnessGoneMad society is just too nice to let people speak the truth]]. Same can go for any kind of bigotry. * This toper lived in a VERY small (read 'white-bred') town and once as a small child went to a mall in Toronto. In the mall me and my mother passed a group of Islamic women wearing some variety of the traditional headscarf. The young troper got super excited and shouted out "Mommy look! Shepherds!" Thinking the women looked like the shepherd in her picture bible. To this day I can't remember the incident, but my mom laughs her head off telling it. * This troper goes to a very diverse university and volunteers as a

rep to welcome new students. There are of course the standard questions to draw a new student into a conversation, but one that has had some problems is "Where are you from?". One notable incident went like this: *** Me: So, where are you from? *** New Student: Um, Iraq (looks uncomfortable) *** Me: Wow! You're an international student then? *** New Student: um, no. (looks even more uncomfortable) *** Me: (gets it) So you live in Toronto right? What neighbourhood? I just want to see how far you had to drive today. *** New Student: (relieved) ---Oh?? You don't want to associate with us?? Fine, you can leave and go back to MistakenForRacist. * But wait, it's '''not''' ''like'' that! ---<<|TroperTales|>>

MistakenForServant * [[CodeMan38 This troper]] has been mistaken for an employee by shoppers in a number of different electronics stores... when wearing things that don't even remotely resemble the store uniform. He's just ''that geeky'', he supposes. ** This has happened once or twice to me, too (but a lot, considering how rarely I actually set foot in a supermarket). However I don't look much like a typical employee of anywhere (except maybe a Mook) with my just over 2 meter frame, my paunch and (the last time this happened) my Beard of Lazy and black t-shirt with a stylized skull. Also, whenever my hair gets beyond very short it stands on end like a hedgehog's needles. Though there was a real employee there whose belt was a faux bandoleer and he had a lot of ink - Rottenvenetic * ''Don't'' wear those free t-shirts you get for volunteering that say "Staff" to stores. I could be in a store where the uniform is totally different and still get asked questions about what aisle the glue is in. ** Are you me? ** With all due respect, that's kind of [[TemptingFate asking for it]]. * I was mistaken for working at the local grocery store. I was wearing my work shirt for the movie theater down the road which is a completely different color from the grocery store's staff colors. The kicker: I worked at the grocery store the previous summer. * I once got mistaken for a member of staff at the hotel I was staying at. I quickly rectified their mistake and then informed them that although I didn't work there, I knew the hotel and its staff quite well and helped them get checked in. * Before one of this troper's local grocery stores changed their uniforms, he regularly was mistaken for an employee because he had on a jacket that was almost the same color as the store's uniform. * Inversion: This troper was working at a clothing store. She happened to be standing near a girl of about her own age when an elderly

shopper approached them. She looked at the troper (who was wearing the store uniform) and the girl (who was wearing nothing like it), then proceeded to ask the non-employee for assistance. * This troper was with at my friend's bait shack and had a tourist come up and ask for leeches. Yeah... didn't help I was wearing cutoffs, a ratty tank top and a messy ponytail enough to look like a dock girl... that's more embarrassing. * This female editor was mistaken as a museum guide in one summer when she visited the local museum to see the exhibit about Ancient Egypt. I had a casual make-up, brushed and open hair and fully black clothing that made me look like an university student (despite being fiveteen back then) and my overall knowledge about the subject (I am positively crazy about history) made even the real guides stare wide-eyed, so it was kinda justified. I was more than once asked about certain items and eras and I gladly explained. * I'm sure my fellow Black tropers have a TON of stories about this trope........ ** You have NO freakin' idea! Let's just say, don't be Black, dressed in slacks and a button-down, and be in a museum, because you simply '''must''' be one of the security staff, you can't be there because you '''actually''' like art... *** Not trying to play the race card, but I have to add to the above example. This African-American troper decides to kill his lunch hour by dropping into a [[strike:Buy More]] Best Buy. He's not wearing any of the shirts '''that freakin' say Best Buy''', and he's clearly wandering aimlessly among the [=DVDs=], and yet he's approached by no less than three customers, all white, all asking for assistance. Only one bothered to even ''ask'' if he worked there. Said troper got so uncomfortable he decided to leave the store. ** I'm not black but a Latino girl living in Spain, and I have a ton of stories. The most extreme example is when I was having an ice-cream in a Mcdonalds with three Spanish friends, wearing a skirt and a green shirt, and listening to my iPod when two people asked me to clean their tables. ** @/DesertDragon: I was at a friend's ''wedding'' and was wearing my nicest suit while waiting outside for things to start. I was the only black guy there and sure enough, one of the lovebirds' relatives (whom I never met) thought I was a valet. I think she [[MyGodWhatHaveIDone had a small heart attack]] when my DeathGlare said otherwise. Needless to say, she avoided me the rest of the night. ** While on a family vacation another hotel guest referred to this troper's black stepmother as the nanny. While Stepmom handled it rather tactfully, this troper's dad was... [[{{Understatement}} not amused]]. *** I had a similar experience when hanging out with some friends, a(white) married couple with two adorable kids. Much playing and interacting with the kids went on. I stepped away for a few minutes. When I got back, the husband was furious and the wife told me that they had been asked if I was their nanny. This, despite the fact that I was dressed for church (where we were). To this day, the guy won't tell me what he said to the person, other then angrily informing them that I was a DOCTOR.

* Subversion here, I once got asked where mens shirts were in a TK Maxx, and helped the guy find them anyway, although I took me a while to realise he thought I was an employee. I corrected the mistake, though. (For reference, I know where everything in that store is because I go there about every other week.) * This troper used to work at a grocery store that was in walking distance of a book stores. One day after working a morning shift on Saturday I went to the book stores for a bit. Our dress requirements for the store I worked at was this dark green polo shirt and black pants (black jeans were fine.) While I was looking for a book, another customer came up to me and asked me where something was. I turned to face him in which he then learned that I didn't work there because the last time I check Giant is not the same Barnes & Noble. * One [[TheWindyCity fine spring day with a half of foot of fresh snowfall]], I was working in an office. Two elderly women, clients of my employer, came in. As they were leaving, one stops and gives me a Fiver. "Give that to the homeless man you have clearing off your walks. He was so nice, helping us dig out a space to park." "Try and see he spends it on food," the other chimes in. Now, it wasn't the best of neighborhoods, and we often had trouble with homeless people sleeping on the doorstep or such, but I hadn't asked one to help out, nor did they typically volunteer to. So I checked it out. Outside, shoveling the walk, was the building's owner, the guy who owned the whole damn block, net worth of more than all three of us, dressed for working outside, shoveling the walk. ** So, did you give him the old ladies's money? * This troper is a small, stout, thirteen year old girl. She dresses in casual, bland clothing. In the past two years, four times has she been stopped in the Wal-Mart and either asked politely by a foreigner to help him find an article of clothing, or demanded by a crotchety old lady to search for "a pair of pants in her size". And not once has anyone apologized after she'd explained why she was there. * This troper's sister is prone to dressing nicely for social events (a lot of cardigans and polo shirts and khaki slacks, fairly preppy, sleek blonde ponytail and [[{{Meganekko}} glasses]],) and also volunteers at a lot of anime conventions. She happened to be ''a'' staff member, just done volunteering for our local con, but not the staff member a particular hotel guest wanted-- they'd thought she was an administrator at the hotel we were at, and decided to complain about all the freaky losers in bondage gear wandering around and watching the Japanimation cartoons. This guest picked... shall we say, the [[YaoiFangirl wrong]] [[OtakuSurrogate person]] to try and get sympathy with. (This troper gets mistaken for employees at bookstores, but that's mostly because I somewhat resemble a cross between [[GoodOmens Aziriphale]] and [[TheAreasOfMyExpertise John Hodgman.]] And add in some Anne Frank.) * The same troper from above about Giant and Barnes and Nobles had something else happen to him a few weekends ago. I was shopping a Salvation Army stores for some cheap shirts. I had on a pain of cargo pants that you could unzip part of the legs and have shorts, but since it wasn't so hot out yet at that time I just had the whole pants part on, and I also wore a black short sleeve button shirt. I was in line

to purchase my clothes and some dude in front of me with a little red wagon though I worked there, even though I did not have on the vest or a name tag that the employees are required to wear. * A woman once called a manager on me after I told her I didn't work in the shop I was at. She was convinced I was lying so I wouldn't have to help her. * This editor ordered some Chinese food once. When he received a phone call from the delivery girl saying she was here, he went down to his apartment lobby and saw an Asian girl with some bags in her hand walking by. This editor asked "How much do I owe?" before noticing the ''actual'' delivery girl outside, sitting on the hood of her car. Open mouth, insert [[strike:foot]] gun. ** CrowningMomentOfFunny if ever there was one. And...completely understandable. * [[GwenStacyWannabe I]] don't know if I just look really at home in a library/bookstore or what, but ever since I was about twelve I've had random people come up and ask me where this section is or if I can help them find this book. I usually laugh when it happens now, which might leave a bad impression on the other person, but sometimes I'm more competent than the actual employees. (I gather most Borders employees wouldn't know what ''[[{{Comicbook/X-Men}} Age of Apocalypse]]'' was, let alone know about the 10th anniversary miniseries which happened to be what one guy was looking for...) * Last week, I was in a store and was wearing a dress shirt because I'd just been job hunting. Another customer came up to me and asked a question like I was an employee. The actual employees wore ''uniform shirts''. Observation fail. * Before the DIY shop B&Q rebranded to orange, I was browsing the shop in a red t-shirt. Three people came up to ask for help. * The manager of a gaming store this troper frequents said (jokingly) one certain time that he would give me his less competent worker's salary for each month. This was due this troper's knowing more about games in general than all the employers together, and his habit of giving tips to the other costumers, of "that game is better for a kid", or "that one has better multiplayer", or "this one is better for somoeone who likes to play alone" sort, to the point where clients started to ask for "the kid with the big headphones (me)" whenever they needed help. The thing is that a week later, the manager told this troper that his employers were authentically threatened by him and were working harder. ** This troper's best friend would ''love'' you. ** This troper's younger brother was once offered a job in a gaming store after selling 3 consoles in half an hour. Unfortunately, he was to young to work at the time. * This troper's favored manner of dress is solid colored shirts and khakis, so he's been mistaken for a store employee in a lot of the stores he's visited. ** Seconded. I wear a polo shirt and khakis pretty much all the time, and I'd say 25% of the times I'm in a big box store for more than a few minutes someone asks if I work there, or assumes I do and starts asking questions. * I've been mistaken for a literal ''servant''. I work as a tour guide

in a rather famous Victorian mansion, and adding to the fun I dress as a Victorian maid for the tourists (complete with the long black dress, white apron and white cap). The mansion has a top floor that is never shown during tours, and naturally many people ask why this is. I explain that the room is basically an attic but was also used to house the female servants. At least once a month I get a reply akin to, "Oh, so that's where ''you'' live?" I must also point out that these people are almost always old and completely serious with no hint of irony in their tone. I have to reply that, no, I don't live in the attic, but the wormhole in the basement takes me back to my time at the end of each day. * Never, ever wear a yellow shirt at IKEA. * This troper worked at a sort of two-dollar shop. She was across the street before work at a supermarket to help her mum shop, and an elderly lady asked me where something was. This case was slightly justified, as my uniform was, apart from the logo, completely identical to the supermarket's. * I once got asked if Borders stocked a particular series. I have yet to work out why this was, since my clothes looked ''nothing'' like the uniform. ** Actually, that's partially understandable. I used to work at one, and most Borders don't have an employee uniform. * Sometimes happened to this troper when she was in high school, as she went to a Catholic school where the uniform was kakhis and a white or blue polo, and would often stop in a store on the way home from school. * This didn't happen to [[{{Weaver}} This Troper]] themselves (they read about it on a message board) but it's worth mentioning for the sheer WTH factor. A guy at an anime convention was mistaken for security. Not too interesting in itself, until you factor in that the guy in question was wearing an [[{{Naruto}} ANBU]] costume at the time. To paraphrase the original post, not even an anime convention is geeky enough to have faux-ANBU security so how someone could make that mistake is a mystery for the ages. ** Are you kidding? That would be [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotAwesome AWESOME.]] * This troper once was once asked if she worked there at a new and used book store. * This troper was mistaken for an employee at woolworths (back when it wasn't bankrupt). Even though he wasn't even old enough to get a parttime job, let alone a job at woolworths. * This troper, on his way to a golf tournament had to stop by a Kinko's/[=FedEx=] to photocopy some things. While waiting for my job to finish, I was asked by a customer to help operate a copier for him. I decided to help him (as Kinko's copiers are intimidating with a messy control panel, despite only having one function). The customer was rather blunt, and it wasn't until it was pointed out to him that I didn't work there that he profusely apologized for his tone. Then again, I was dressed in a green polo with black slacks. The Kinko's/[=FedEx=] uniform is purple polo with black slacks, and the color scheme of the company has big swatches of purple and green. The customer had thought I was a floor employee.

* This troper is always being mistaken for an employee at her local music store. She does wear a lot of band shirts... wait, why does that mean anything?! * This troper once was mistaken for a pet shop employee. Admittedly she was wearing a black top (uniform colour for the shop) and had the shop parakeet on her shoulder at the time. She has also been mistaken for a UniBooks employee at WOMADelaide once. * I once took a vacation in Sandusky, OH, home of the Cedar Point roller coaster park. The park is located on an island in Lake Erie, linked to the mainland by a causeway which is closed to foot traffic. As I hadn't rented a car for the trip, I would have had to hail a taxi to get to the park... if not for the fact that the windbreaker I happened to pack with me was the exact same color and style as that issued to park employees, which enabled me to slip into the employee parking lot and ride a shuttle to the park. * ThisTroper usually goes around the various ninety nine cent stores, maybe but a trinket here or there, but mostly following Mom. Over here, there's not much of a uniform (vest over street cholthing) and every time, rest assured that someone, somewhere will ask where the gluesticks or laundry detergent is. The kicker is that I'm fourteen D: However, slightly justified, as I'm tall for my age (5'6), but it grates after a while. And laves you wondering whether or not gettting a job is a good idea (It's legal at around fourteen here in New Jersey) ** Wait, what? I live in New Jersey and I can only find 1 or 2 jobs at 15, let alone 14. When did this happen and how did I miss it? * This troper has been mistaken for an employee at his school's bookstore a couple times, probably because of the ID holder he used to always wear around his neck. He would have been happy to help them anyway, because its a very small bookstore and he knows it pretty well, but they always realized their mistake and walked away before he had the chance. * For some reason, despite never wearing anything resembling the uniforms, [[ManCalledTrue this troper]] seems to attact people asking "Can you help me?" Even when wearing the NiceHat. * This troper has been mistaken as an employee of: Barnes & Noble, Best Buy, numerous boutiques, as well as in one memorable instance Blackwater International. * Happened to me enough times. My job during college was at a movie theater, and there was a grocery store about two blocks away. I frequently stopped by said grocery on my way to/from work, and despite the uniforms looking NOTHING ALIKE (the theater required a tie, the grocer had a polo shirt with their logo) I still got asked where stuff was on many occasions. Other times I wasn't wearing any outfit that could have been mistaken for anything other than a slob, and ''still''. Once I got mistaken for an employee ''by someone who worked in that store''. Once the employee realized the error, I joked that it would be a heck of a way to get a job! * I was in a Game Stop (black and red colors) wearing a purple shirt ''and tie'' and light brown dress pants when someone asked me about some fine print on a sale. I really can't figure that out. I also used to get confused for an employee at Wal-Mart due to my blue hoodie. I

was still able to help in most cases anyway. * This troper was once asked about the stock of poetry books in a bookstore he doesn't visit that often, despite being dressed in a tshirt and jeans and browsing the shelves, and had to explain that he wasn't actually staff. Interestingly, during another visit to said shop, in a similar outfit and again just looking at the books, a staff member approached him and asked if he was here for the job interview. * This troper often gets mistaken for an employee at stores, though it's probably because he often wears slacks and solid color polo shirts and carries around a clipboard. * This troper who tends to often wear polos had this happen to him. When he explained that he was just a customer, the person flipped out on him and wwouldn't believe him. He and the manager the person brought had a good laugh. * This troper's school uniform includes a bright red polo, so if she's shopping anywhere after school, she tends to be [[MistakenForServant Mistaken for Employee]]. Once, at a Bergner's, she was mistaken three or four times in ''five minutes''. Strangely, this doesn't happen with any color polo other than red.... * Some of the classes in my high school went to a resort. One of them mistook me for an employee and gave me money to buy some snacks. It's okay, the girl at the snack bar became my girlfriend. * This troper was recently buying rabbit food/treats in Wal-Mart and was mistaken for an employee. Admittedly, she ''was'' wearing a blue t-shirt, but she was also wearing sweatpants, boots, and had her hair up in pigtails (it was "pajama day" at school). She considers herself lucky, though; the couple that asked for assistance was polite and apologized upon finding out that she wasn't an employee. * This Troper does not plan in advance what he wears on a given day, only picking from whatever is clean and weather-appropriate. He once went to Six Flags Great Adventure for a physics field trip (really) with a light blue polo shirt and long brown khaki pants...which was ''precisely'' what the employees wore. More than once he was asked to fix the video arcade machines, where he hung around because he was (and still is) terrified of roller coasters. ** There's also a little inversion: when This Troper's little brother first entered college, the whole family came along to help him settle in. While moving stuff in other early comers to the dorm arrived and everyone gathered in the hallway to introduce themselves by name and what they planned on studying. This Troper just said, "I'm the hired help." * I work as a product demonstrator, our uniform is either an orange apron and cap, or blue hat and lab coat (with white dress shirt and black pants in either version). I get at least 30 people asking me where something is per shift. Granted... we do look more like Store Employees then most of the Wal-Mart Employees. * This Troper were once aksed if HE was "The maid in the house", my chilly remark: "No, I'm their son..." ** Ouch! * This troper is a lampshade and subversion. Back when Blockbuster Video was still in operation, he'd frequently spend hours just looking at all the tapes (yes, I'm dating myself). Being a movie fiend and

aspiring director, my knowledge of movies and TV was a bit above average to say the least, and many times I'd find myself immersed in conversations with random strangers who'd ask me to recommend movies or more often, couldn't name the movie, but within two sentences of the plot or naming one actor managed to narrow it down to the movie they were looking for. After a while, several folks assumed that I worked at the store. I'd always say I didn't but would proceed to help anyway. After a while, I got to know the staff who finally said, "Y'know, you should just work here and make it official." That was this troper's first job. * This troper was mistaken for an employee in one department store by an actual employee. Admittedly I was 18 at the time and was wearing a suit (you get better service in a suit), but most of the staff there wear no particular uniform and very few wear suits, and I had no badge on. I then went into the other department store (where suits are actually common) and ran into my then-girlfriend's dad whom I hadn't met yet, who asked me for advice choosing clothes. and it wasn't until she found us that I realised that he had no idea who I was and thought I was just doing my job. I assumed he knew who I was because I had been to her house several times, she had a large phto of me in her room (visible from the door), and her mum knew me well. ** I have also been mistaken for a junior lecturer in a "C and Matlab for Clunkies" course taught by the schools of Mech Eng and CS, when the Engineering lecturer turned up and saw me waiting at the lectern and thought I was sent by CS to take the lecture. When he realised that I was only there to advertise the CS club, he offered to pay me to take the lecture anyway. Unfortunately I had to decline, as I hadn't touched the features of matlab in that lecture in 3 years. I did offer to take the rest of the course (on C), but he decided that teaching Unix programming to computer-illiterate first years was less painful than dealing with HR. * One of [[TheTallOne my]] many older brothers was once mistaken by an older lady for an employee in a bookstore. In an aversion, he helped her, and was so pleasant and helpful, the lady wanted to talk to the manager to praise him and suggest he get a raise. When he said he didn't work there, she talked to the manager anyway, and instead suggested he be hired. * This [[FigmentJedi Disney geek]] has been mistaken for a castmember several times on trips to the DisneyThemeParks * [[Tropers/FearTheWolf This troper's]] father has had this many times. Including in foreign countries. Being possessed of more than a little wit, his responses often constitute [[CrowningMomentofFunny Crowning Moments of Funny]]. * This troper is in and out of Home Depot on a regular basis, if not buying supplies for landscaping than for parts for some new project me and my friends are cooking up. At least every other trip I have someone come up and ask me where something is. I am almost always wearing plain leather work gloves, jeans held togeather with ducttape, old tennis-shoes (also held together with duct-tape), a white tshirt, and ''a bloody urban-camouflage boonie hat!'' Explain to me how that looks anything like Home Depot's uniform. ** It doesn't, but it does look like you know your way around a

hardware store. I for one will ask people to help me find things there even if they don't look like employees, so long as they look like they know what they're doing, because that place is HUGE, and the only place you can reliably find a worker is at the cashier's desks, and the cashiers can't leave them to help you. No, the people at the paint desk aren't always there... * [[{{Odile}} I]] was mistaken for both [[MistakenForServant servant]] and [[MistakenNationality generic Eastern European]] by a family at a hotel a little while ago. * This... happens a lot. Most notably at Michael's (several times in the same visit) where the employees are supposed to wear aprons, have nametags, and be above eighteen. This troper was around fourteen or fifteen at the time. Recently happened at Costco while wearing a very casual shirt with superheroes... do Costco employees even roam around the aisles? * As an LDS missionary, this troper did all of his shopping while wearing a white shirt and a tie, and a nametag (that apparently no one ever bothered to read). It became easier (and more helpful) just to learn the basic layout of the grocery store and tell people where to go than to try and explain I wasn't an employee or manager. * [[{{Neakal}} This Troper]]'s fashion-crazy brother-in-law once attended the grand opening of a movie about the military that was directed by a good friend of ours. To look distinct, he had a proper military uniform. He didn't know the waiters would have military attire too. Hilarity Ensued. * This troper has had this happen on a number of occasions but the most recent was over the summer. She made the mistake of not changing out of her coaching uniform before she and her father went shopping at a sporting goods store. Half a dozen people came up trying to make me do stuff for them and after I kept refusing and explaining that I was a customer just like them one lady called up the manage. Said manager proceeded to explain that I was not an employee and gave me a coupon for all my troubles. * I was in the library one fine day, and a forty-ish woman asked me how you went about returning books. Being the kind soul I am, I showed her. Apparently this made her think I was a librarian, because later on she told me "I reserved this book..." "Good work!" I said in a Proud Parent kind of voice. "I'm proud of you!" Seeing her surpise at this, I added "and the librarian's over there, I'm just some guy." * [[@/PentiumMMX2 This troper]] had this happen when at a local grocery store years ago. I was about 8 or 9 at the time; not old enough to have a job, but the shirt I was wearing just happened to be the same colors as what the actual employees wore. For the most part, nobody though anything of it...except one crazy old lady; who commented on how I shouldn't be "drinking on the job" (Not only was I not an employee, but I was just drinking some tea I bought earlier) * When I was a corporal in the Army, I had to work at a recruit base for a few weeks while waiting for orders to Korea. Soemtimes, I would help with the new recruits getting off the buses. When it came time to move them to a barracks, the new recruits, usually the women, would sometimes assume that a strong, capable man was there to help them with their bags (who needs two fully-stuffed bags to go to basic

training?). Some would even ask for help, which meant they wanted me to carry their things for them. I would pick the girl's bag up, loosen the strap, sling it on her back, and send her on her way. "There you go. Let me know if you need any more help!" * This troper has been mistaken for a substitute teacher at least five times. At a high school. Where I go to school. More times at the primary school my mum works at. Granted, I tend to dress very well and most of the clothes I get are ''from'' a teacher (with very good taste in fashion). On a side note, this troper has also been mistaken for the help at Safeway. This I believe attributes to how often I am there, and well, I do know exactly where everything is. And at Target. I think I must just look like I know what I'm doing or something. * This troper once went to a very posh opening for an art exhibit. I was dressed nicely with slacks and a blazer and waiting for my friend to arrive. There was also a lot of food and drinks there. I was standing by the entrance waiting, and an elderly man came up to me and demanded I clean his table because whoever had done it apparently did a horrendous job. Cue the organizer of the event coming and apologizing on my behalf for doing a poor job. It took approximately five minutes before I could interrupt with, "But I don't work here!" * This troper's mother taught her from an early age that looking neat showed respect for those around her. As a result she was mistaken for a teacher in high school (the stern attitude probably helped), and for some professional or other in college (before she got a bunch of labs and started wearing old clothes all the time). Just today I happened to wear all black, and while walking around the mall for exercise was accosted by an old man; I was about to get scared and run when he said "I thought you worked here." * This troper was in a grocery store when an older gentleman came up and asked her a question, thinking I was an employee. Not sure what he was talking about I assumed ''he'' was an employee and kindly turned down what I thought he was offering. Bizarre conversation later before we both realized our mistake. Would have made more sense if I hadn't been thirteen and really ''looked it.'' Old dude needed glasses. ** Oddly, same troper is now a Wal*Mart associate, but because I wear the night shift uniform (blue shirt, but blue jeans allowed), usually wear a black hoodie (live in a ''cold'' area, so extra clothing isn't blinked at) and don't always have my badge (usually work in an area where it gets in the way, so it lives in my back pocket) it takes a minute for people to realize I'm an employee when I ask if they need help with anything. * I wear my keys around my neck so I won't lose them. Even if the store's dress code is a bright green apron, nametag and baseball cap, just wearing those keys makes people think I work wherever I go. It happens an a pretty much weekly basis, if not more often. ** It's scarier when I'm ''not'' wearing my keys. ** I'd say the biggest culprit is acting out against my pet peeves of messed-up displays and shopping carts not properly returned. Working in the service industry for even a short time instills those in you. * This happens to me a lot for no conceivable reason, but recently I had a case where it was at least something I was wearing: I happened to be browsing 7-Eleven in a red hooded sweatshirt... the same shade

of red they have their employees wear. * Inverted with this troper. The hardware store where he works doesn't really have a uniform (we have shirts that some of the staff wear on certain days and we all wear black uniform shirts on Fridays) and since he goes there wearing whatever he wore to school that day, people will see me leaning against a shelf waiting for someone to come in, then they'll come up and ask if I work there. * this troper spends hours in her large local library, and knows the children's area very well. Around once a month, She'll be browsing, or put a book on the ''right'' shelf, and someone will ask where such and such book is. She usually explains that she doesn't work here, but the book should be over wherever.. Once it was such a sweet little five year old that I ended up showing her were the picture books were and telling her what several were about. she later pointed me out to her mother as the 'nice libarian lady.' it kind of makes my day. ** as of now, the librarians ask her for book recs for patrons. life goal, acomplished. time for a new dream. * When I was shopping one day, I accidentally knocked a pile of... female-specific underwear down. I knelt down to re-hang things (because you know it was my bad, I needed to fix it) and got approached for help. The lady was very nice about it though and it ended up with her apologising and me saying it was an easy mistake to make. * It happens very often to this troper when she is shopping. I sometimes think I have an invisible tag permanently attached to my chest that reads HELLO IM X HOW CAN I HELP YOU? * This troper got mistaken for a teacher when she was in primary school. * I was at a hotel and stepped out of my room to see the maid's cart in the hallway. I asked the young woman standing next to it when she would be getting to my room. At her confused reaction, I suddenly realized that she was NOT the maid and to top it off, was one of my CLASSMATES (we were taking a prep course). She took it in stride and laughed it off, but I felt horrible, especially since I'm sure I made the assumption based on her ethnicity (she was Hispanic). Which is bad enough, but when you consider the fact that I myself am AfricanAmerican and have had this happen to ME (I've been mistaken for a waitress in several restaurants, and at hospitals where I have worked, everything BUT the doctor that I am), I really should have know better. * Not one, but TWO of my friends have been mistaken for employees at Hot Topic. * I work at a club/bar, and in the summer time you often have to take the club's handcart over to the grocery store and buy lots of cases of bottled water (using money from the till and bringing back change and a receipt, of course). Naturally, this gets me mistaken for a stock person a lot while I'm in the store. * Back in high school, I always looked a bit older than the rest. Our uniforms, looking more like business suits, amplified that effect. One day, around the start of the semester, I'm in the class room, chatting to some friends while leaning on the teacher's table. A new student comes in and approaches me, asking something about the curriculum and

talking about some things relating to the course. I wasn't sure why he was telling me all that until one of my friends pointed out that I a not the teacher. * Multiple times, [[Tropers/{{Reflextion}} I]] have gone to various stores at the local mall and been asked by cashiers for a mall employee ID, or been asked by other shoppers where they can find this, that, or the other thing. ---Could you take me to {{Mistaken For Servant}}, please? ...What's that? You don't work here? ---<<|TroperTales|>>

MistakenForSubculture * [[Tropers/{{Cosman246}} This troper]] is a member of the programmer subculture which called themselves hackers (the type described [[http://www.eps.mcgill.ca/jargon/jargon.html here]]--I don't trust ESR's later edits), which has many cues descended from the hippies as well as nerds (which he also is) and sf fans. He also likes anime, and enjoys small cafes as well as 20th century literature. As such, people mistake him for a hipster, which annoys him as he essentially sees them as hypocrites. * [[Tropers/DamianYerrick This troper]] is a man in his late twenties often seen wearing an ankle-length shirt. The inspiration is probably a mix of CrystalSpiresAndTogas, [[BadHabits Christian monks]], [[PajamaCladHero John Darling]], [[ExpressiveShirt Mickey "the Yellow Kid" Dugan]], and especially 1980s [[AlvinAndTheChipmunks Simon Seville]]. But apparently, some people think I look like their conception of a Muslim (understandable; see Real Life under CrystalSpiresAndTogas) or even a [[WholesomeCrossdresser crossdresser]]. ** I'm confused, how does a shirt get to ankle-length without being a dress. * This troper is naturally fair-skinned with very dark hair and a tendency to wear black t-shirts. Somehow, though, the Gore-Tex raincoat, trail runners and complete lack of makeup aren't a tip-off to the people who like to walk up to her and accuse her of worshiping the Devil. (Pro-tip: even if she were a goth, goth =/= Satanist.) ** This troper hates when people do that. Just because you like to wear black clothes sometimes doesn't mean your some sort of gothic sadist. * I have friends. They are textbook {{Goth}},yet insist they aren't. One day, hypocritically, one of them calls me [[EmoTeen emo]].I was shocked and in a stupor at the [[RandomAlligatorMoment randomness]] of it all, too. Especially since they know this: ''Their'' mom isn't sick with a possibly terminal illness, ''they'' don't have a mental illness which makes life harder than it already was, and moreover: I don't dress emo ''at all''. (NOTE: It is possible one of them has a mom in that situation, and they just don't talk about it. But that would be no reason to go goth, even if it was the case.) * My bald brother is sometimes called a skinhead or something, or

asked if he has cancer. He's got alopecia, his hair randomly started falling out one day and he shaved it all off rather than go around with two massive bald patches on the back and the side of his head. ** I had a few people ask me if I was a nazi when I shaved my head (I left a goatee so it would have been pretty hard to confuse it for chemo). * At different points, people called me Grunge, Emo or Goth, because of what I wore and how I looked, even though I did not even know a thing about some of these subcultures. It also became HilariousInHindsight when I ''did'' become a Goth and was looking for something to wear for a club, only for my friend to point out that my wardrobe is ''chock full'' of Gothy clothing.

MistakenNationality * I love playing the game of Mistaken Nationality. Ok, picture me: female, brown hair, brown eyes, light skin, thick-ish nose, American english, thin eyebrows, neither thin nor thick lips... got that? Ok. Where do you think I come from? Other people (in real life, of course, who know me better than a minimalistic description on the internet) have the following answers: English (their justification: I have a 'weird' accent), Irish (random girl at a debate competition after hearing me ask for some water - secret Irish accent?), Russian (justification: I study Russian and Russian culture, so clearly I am a Russian spy!), and Ukrainian (justification: I jokingly introduced myself as 'a Ukrainian'.). Ok! Everyone got their answers? My nationality is... [[spoiler: Born in Cuba to Cuban parents, who also have Cuban parents, with a family tree that consists mainly of Cubans and Spaniards, with the random Englishman (just one, so not enough to make me English :P), American (roots traced back to either Scotland or Ireland), and Frenchman thrown in for good measure.]] ** For good fun, the above troper will mention her friends: one has been mistaken for Mexican despite being Salvadorean and Guatemalan, one has been mistaken for anything but what he is (Italian), and one is mistaken for American despite having Cuban and Panamanian parents. I find it amusing. * Prepare yourself for this one. This troper has been mistaken for the following. Moving eastward: Italian, Greek, Turkish, Egyptian, Israeli, Arab, Iranian, Pakistani, Indian, and Bangladeshi. This troper is born and bred Colombian, from a family that has been in said nation since ''la conquista''! To contribute to this troper's woes, his legitimately Hispanic surname is often taken as proof of Middle Eastern heritage, due to its commonality over there! It's gotten to the point where being correctly identified as just Hispanic is a moment of pure joy. [[FacePalm * face palm* ]] * This troper's nationality hasn't been mistaken from too far, but she's gotten, "Oh, so you're a Canadian, eh?" It's from living on the border of North Dakota, of course. They can always tell my ancestors are Scandanavian though! * This troper has been mistaken for many things. None of them Filipino. * This troper, life long native of North Carolina, has often been

mistaken for British or a Northerner. Granted, he did get rid of his Appalachian accent early on and has a strange manner of speaking, due to a lifelong love of books. ** Are you my evil twin? ** This fellow North Carolinian is also often mistaken for British. My theory is that my speech defect makes my accent sound non-rhotic. * This troper's lack of an accent has gotten him pegged as being African, Canadian, British, or coming from the American South. Said troper is actually a Jamaican born and raised in Brooklyn all his life. ** It is literally impossible to lack an accent. You just have a crazy one. * '''Dammit!''' This troper is NOT British. He just happens to watch a lot of BBC shows, notably ''Series/DoctorWho'' and due to reading Empire magazines, is used to spelling things like "colour" and "realised". However...he. Is. AMERICAN. Please and thank you! * This Scottish Troper mistook a Canadian accent for an American one when he was little. On the other hand, he doesn't have much of an accent and is often mistaken for English (which is easily forgivable to this Troper). When talking via mic on MSN, however, his accent has been mistaken for... nothing at all - his accent is ''that'' nonspecific. * This troper dated a Haitian girl and has a few Haitian friends besides. Apparently the Creole he picked up got so good that soon random Haitians would try to start full conversations and were baffled when he couldn't respond. The sad part is, when he tells people he's actually Jamaican, they refuse to believe it. * This troper has a friend who does the reverse; she comes from Latvia but tells people she's Russian. * @/SilentHunter once mistook a Slovene for American, although she did speak in an American accent. * Tropers/{{Katsuhagi}} is American and of Irish decent, but was consistently assumed to be British in Russia. * Tulling is Norwegian, but when he went to St. Petersburg to learn more Russian, he was frequently taken for a local and asked "Where is such-and-such?" by Russians. * In a similar vein, the British travel writer Colin Thubron mentions being labelled "Polish" in the Soviet Union and "Russian" in Xinjiang (Northwestern China). * Maxmordon's aunt was assumed to be Eastern European when staying in an Italian town. She is actually "White Hispanic". * Tropers/BobbyG knows a South African who has been taken for English while visiting the United States. * Nasrudith, MissIzzy, and Tropers/{{Seanette}} are Americans who have been taken for British by their countrymen. ** [[Tropers/{{fidheallir}} This troper]], a native Scots speaker, is frequently assumed to be from the Strathclyde area BY OTHER SCOTS, although she was born in San Francisco and is actually [[spoiler: mixed Scottish and Carib]]. Americans, on the other hand, will happily guess her nationality to be Canadian, Irish, French or White Hispanic. * Tropers/{{Seanette}} has also managed to confuse Russian with Ukrainian, and was politely but firmly corrected by a then-coworker of

her husband. Seems Ukrainians really HATE being called Russians, probably because of the repression they suffered under Stalin. * Lurkerbunny and some other kids had a very similar conversation to the ''[[Main/{{KingOfTheHill}} King Of The Hill]]'' example with a Laotian kid. It was first grade, cut us a break. * A few years ago, Tropers/WillyFourEyes was once told his White American girlfriend-at-the-time looked "British". * Tropers/{{Earnest}} successfully (and unintentionally) [[Main/{{Masquerade}} masqueraded]] as an American for 5 years of college (I'm a white Mexican). He was a jerk for enjoying breaking out in his native Spanish with his Mexican friends to freak out English speakers. To date, his favorite [[Main/{{YouKnowImBlackRight}} "You know I'm an X Right?"]] moment was: --> '''Roomate:''' ''You don't want yellow cheese on your hamburger? That's un-American!'' --> '''Me:''' ''* Stare* '' --> '''Roomate:''' ''Oh, right.'' * The guy that runs [[http://www.gaijinsmash.net gaijinsmash.net]] has gotten himself out of trouble before by pretending not to speak Japanese. * This editor kept being mistaken for an Australian while travelling around America. Being British, that was rather annoying. * '''Everyone to me at least once in my life:''' "Oh, are you white?" ** This troper is frequently mistaken for British by Americans (both online and in real life, which is baffling seeing as I'm in Australia when it happens) despite having one of the strongest Australian accents around. Oddly enough, softening the accent seems to make people more likely to guess correctly, or think he's a Kiwi. . . * This Black American troper spent much of his formative years being mistaken off and on for a West Indian or British visitor due to his insufficiently [[Main/{{JiveTurkey}} Jive Turkey]] speech pattern. ** This Caribbean troper has similarly been mistaken on and off for a Black American, due to his lack of typical hispanic stereotypical behavior. Because only Black Americans can get whitewashed, apparently. *** When you are both Black American ''and'' Carribbean you get mistaken for....everything else. Seriously, I've never even set foot in England.... * This Australian troper has been mistaken for English - by other Australians. ** Tropers/ZanderSchubert has too: the sad thing is that I knows a New Zealander, an American and someone from Hong Kong who have all lost their accents and ''sound more Australian than I do!'' * And this British troper has been mistaken for an American by other Brits. * This Danish troper was with his family in (on?) Hawaii (Maui to be presice), when his brother spotted an old man. Just before he could say "look at that old fart" in danish, the man heard our parents talking, and introduced himself in perfect danish. * This Canadian troper mistakenly assumed a Pakistani classmate was from India. He didn't find out until after he asked about castes and stuff.

* This Filipino troper had a couple of ''Filipino'' acquaintances ''in the Philippines'' ask him if he was Indian, while conversing with him in ''straight Filipino''. To make matters worse, the troper, has a Spanish name written in an American manner (like most Filipinos, due to colonial influence). Apparently all people with short hair and a moustache are Indian. Strangely enough ''Chinese'' would have been a closer guess. ** This troper (also Pinoy) had a similar problem, and it did not help when he looks almost exactly the same as his Indian professor's son. ** Same with This Troper. He has been mistaken for both American and British, mainly because he is really white for a Filipino, and speaks perfect, unaccented English. * This British troper was once asked if he was Eastern European (the lady doing the asking didn't specify a country). * This editor has been mistaken for Russian, German, Venezuelan, and Polish. Never mind the fact that she's American, living in America, and speaking perfect English. (Although she did live in Brazil for a while) * This troper is a born-and-bred Southerner, but apparently speaks with no noticeable accent unless he says the word "y'all" - which his girlfriend finds cute. * This American troper has, while in England, occasionally mascueraded as a Canadian to strangers. To his friends, he was honest about his nationality. But at the time, the people of Britain were none too happy about American foreign policy. Being Canadian meant that he wouldn't have to discuss politics. * This Scottish troper (and the rest of his nation...or whatever Scotland actually is, it's confusing) is always assumed to be English when outside Britain. Whether this is due to Mistaken Nationality or the honest belief that England is the name for the whole country is anyone's guess. * [[Tropers/{{Dkellis}} This]] (mostly) Chinese troper has been confused for just about every ''other'' nationality in East Asia (plus Portugese, for some reason) by other Chinese. Only "Indonesian" is partly correct. * [[Tropers/{{Cassy}} This Belgian troper]] has been mistaken a gazillion of times for French, several times for German, twice for Russian, and also for Swiss, British, Dutch, Canadian, and "Eastern European" (whatever it may mean). In fact, she is yet to come across an American or a Canadian who will actually guess right. ** The same goes for [[Tropers/{{Heleentje}} this (other) Belgian troper]], who's also been mistaken for French, Dutch, German and British, and has had people thinking she was Greek(!) or American. * This troper, who lived in New Hampshire from the age of six and New Jersey before that, was asked by a high-school counseler "Are you from the South?" * [[Tropers/{{RedneckRocker}} This]] troper is also Southern, and proud to admit it (as his name implies). However, due to a lack of accent (it faded when he moved up north), nobody seems to believe him . . . until he gives info that proves it, or somebody hits [[{{BerserkButton}} the correct button]] by making anti-Southern commentary.

** This troper knows what you mean with the {{Berserk Button}}. She was born in Georgia, but neither she nor her mother have an accent, unless we're very sleepy. Plus she's very shy so nobody knew where she was from when she first moved to Chicago. Her button was hit after a long time, when the class idiot( who thinks she funny and popular, but isn't) to the substite teacher where an absent student was. In the most horrendously fake accent, said: "Mike's in Jawja, the redneck state". So this normally polite troper stand up and says in her hardly used, refined accent: " You know why it's called Southern hospitality, because you idiot Northerner's have none!". Sorry for the rant, and no offense to other Northerners, but this really is my {{Berserk Button}}. * [[Tropers/EponymousKid This troper]]'s mother, born in Mexico and to this day a citizen, is nicknamed "China", and you can probably guess why. ** She's a communist? * Milly has been mistaken for generic white, German, Russian, Arab, Jewish, Spanish, Nicaraguan and ''Japanese''. Milly is actually Mexican in descent, but born in American. Damn accents... * [[@/KurisuMurei This troper]], ALSO native of New Hampshire, and of Belgian descent, was once asked if he was Hawaiian due to the fact that he went under a [[GratuitousJapanese Japanese-ish]] screen name, and it was already known that he was from the USA. His mother (the Belgian side of his lineage) was once thought...well, he doesn't remember clearly, but he believes it was Russian or something nearby. * Tropers/{{Meems}} is Scottish but has lived in England for most of her life, and has frequently been mistaken for an American by English people. (Though less often recently.) * Tropers/{{Misanthrope}} is of mixed Catalan, Occitan, Greek and Jewish heritage, yet he is commonly mistaken for a hispanic or middle easterner (granted, the Greek portion of his family comes from an island off the coast of Anatolia) ** This troper is a pale-skinned, brown eyed brunette, mixed Greek and Argentinian and God alone knows what else... and has been taken for Italian, Israeli, Arab, Turkish, Russian, Spanish, Iranian, Pakistani, the list goes on. Cue apologies when I inform people of their mistake. * Subverted with this Japanese troper. Sure, my last name is Japanese, people close to me are aware of my nationality, and a few people have correctly guessed my nationality without knowing me, but still, I'm widely mistaken to be Korean, due to the fact that I mainly hang out with Koreans, 85% of my neighbors are Koeran, and I "excessively" play {{Starcraft 2}}. * @/{{Bisected8}} is a Leicestershirian white male (Leicestershire's in England, just FYI) who lives near Wales. On voice chat in online games he's been mistaken (on the basis of his accent) for an Australian, a Frenchman an Eastern European and a female. In secondary school one other student thought he was Chinese, upon being asked how he came to this conclusion the response was "your eyes look a bit squinty" (over-riding my pale complexion, blue eyes and mousey hair). In addition to this he's met some Americans who, after being told "I'm from Leistershire but I moved near Wales" asked "Why did you move to the middle east?".

* [[Tropers/SteelheadTsotha This troper]] has sometimes been assumed to be of partly Jewish descent due to having unusually Mediterranean facial features for a person with no people from outside his native Denmark in his family tree. ** [[Tropers/{{Rogue 7}} This troper]], who is of Mediterranean descent (on his mother's side), thanks to a large Jewish population in his hometown, has been mistaken for Jewish more times than he can recall. ** [[Tropers/{{BrainDamage}} This troper]], who is pretty much entirely White Northern European, has had numerous people yell in disbelief when he said that he wasn't Jewish. It could be because he's mostly Russian, or it could be because of stereotypes (he apparently just "looks and sounds Jewish"), but it does baffle him. His favorite was when someone thought he was Jewish because he didn't laugh at a Holocaust joke. Oy vey... * [[Tropers/{{Cameoflage}} This Canadian troper]] has been mistaken for a Brit online, due to her dry humour and Commonwealth spellings. * This Texan troper in his fourth year in college had a friend that he met on his first day there ask him what he thought of America as a Englishman. * Tropers/TheBadWolf had an asian friend and people would always ask the friend where he was from, and he would reply in his thick Scottish accent "Glasgow" at which point people would often look disappointed so he would say, "Korea, Korea is the answer you wanted." ** Tropers/TheBadWolf is often mistaken for Jewish despite the fact he's as WASPish as physically possible, a mistake that the troper has played up to get free booze during purim. * Tropers/IBlameCommunism is Scots (unionist, half-English, and strongly British, too), and confusing any term related to the British Isles is his BerserkButton. Once, on a ferry from Hull to Zeebrugge, I told a crew member that the label "England" under a Union Jack and British time clock was wrong. "It should say Britain." "It DOES say England!" She was Belgian, so she can live... perhaps. ** [[Tropers/KickingK This other]] Scottish troper, whose heritage is Scottish as far back as she can trace it, has been mistaken for Danish, German, American (by Americans) and Northern Irish. Also Australian, but she puts this down to the accent being very catching. ** He also knows fellow German students who hace confused every single Germanic language except English with German. They're in for a nasty surprise if they do that in Sweden... On a WW1 history trip to Belgium, his class visited a place called "Langemarck" with a German cemetary and everyone became convinced we had crossed the border. This was just after we left Ieper (Ypres). *** Now that I come to think of, my life is full of this. Here in Edinburgh, we have an excellent cake-baker who goes by "Falko, die Konditormeister!" and speaks with a pronounced accent. In his shop is a formidable battery of Pretzles and a ''Pickelhaube'', the spiked hat worn by those guys from Prussia. When I mentioned the shop in conversation, the response? "Oh, that Polish baker!" * Some years ago, this English troper and his family were on holiday in France. We decided to try a local restaurant; on entering, the head waiter began addressing our parents in German. Apparently, our blonde

hair and statuesque body shapes had confused him a bit... ** This English troper found it most amusing when travelling in France with Germans that either the waiters would assume I was German (sadly my French remains stronger than my German) or that we were all Americans. The Germans started making a joke of naming obscure countries as their home to see the waiters try to figure out their native language. Luxembourg was common. * Tropers/TweTwe (Australian) was once told by another Australian she sounded like she was from "Harry Potter land." and she also gets frequent questions about her supposed English heritage, which has actually been Australian since the late 1800s. Interestingly, when she was in Italy she was mistaken for German. * This Troper has been called, both irl and online, German, French, British, Italian, Spanish, Chinese and Japanese. I am, for the record, American (from New York!) and of Polish descent. I really don't know where most of this comes from. * [[Tropers/DavidHarmon This American troper]] regularly gets taken as coming from whatever nation someone ''hasn't'' been to. But he can't much blame folks for that, as he's got a stack of two city accents and three speech impediments! (Individually minor, but they do add up....) * This Filipino troper has often been mistaken for an "American", or at least a half-American, due to his rather fair complexion, height (6-feet high is relatively tall in the Philippines), and ability to speak unaccented English. Admittedly, it can be rather fun for lightheartedly messing with local hotel personnel. ** Same here, though without the height - this troper's five foot three or so. He's also been confused for British several times. He gets a kick out of pretending he doesn't speak Filipino...then later reveal that, yes, he did understand everything they said. * This troper is Scottish, living in Australia, and has been mistaken for English, Irish, American and Canadian. The first two may not be such a stretch, but I have no idea why for the last two. ** Tropers/CrypticMirror is also Scottish and is constantly asked what part of Canada she is from based on her accent. To the point of random strangers telling her she must be from Ontario and refusing point blank to believe her when she denies this. * Tropers/AcrossTheStars has unusually exotic features for an American, due to her mother being from the South of France. She has been asked if she is: Iranian, Greek, Italian, Canadian, French, and Romanian. * This troper's uncle is often mistaken for Cuban, even though his ancestry is ''Swiss''! To be fair, he lives in Florida so he's quite tan, and speaks Spanish and Portuguese as second languages. * This (Jewish) American troper, who lives in Japan, has been asked more than a few times if he's [[ButNotTooForeign part-Japanese]]. Apparently, some Japanese people just can't quite get over the cognitive dissonance of an American who speaks [[{{BilingualBonus}} fluent Japanese]] and is [[{{PhenotypeStereotype}} neither blondhaired and blue-eyed nor Black]]. On the other hand, some people insist on using incomprehensibly-mangled English with me, even when I ''start'' the conversation in Japanese... * This trope just fails at recognizing nationalities. Hell, I can

barely recognize ethnicities half the time. ** Dude, I live in New York City. Don't get me started on getting ethnicities wrong!! * This troper has repeatably been mistaken for British or American, I don't take offence but I'm also pretty sure I'm the most purely Dutch person in my class so... ** British is understandable, the accent is close, if you were speaking English. *** And are not talking to any British people. * [[Tropers/HersheleOstropoler This troper]]'s mother was asked directions in French in Hong Kong. He has been asked directions in French in Montreal and Paris. At least he thinks he was being asked directions, he's a New Yorker and knows basically no French. * [[Tropers/{{Otempora}} This troper]] was born in Britain, but lived in American most of her life. Curiously, Brits think she's American, and Americans think she's British. When they don't think I'm Canadian or Australian, anyway. * Tropers/{{JChance}} is American, with a rather mixed-up accent. (born and lives in North Carolina, father speaks Newscaster with odd southern touches, mother New York upper-class, way too much NPR and British stuff early) He regularly gets mistaken for Canadian, English, and various other areas of the US. Also, with a black trenchcoat and three-day stubble, has been mistaken for ultra-Orthodox Jewish (by Jews, no less) and ''Amish''. * This troper (due to an odd accent he has, thanks to a combination of his regular southern one, with the various ones he occasionally pics up from reading/tv and such, and the few speech impediments he has) has been asked if he is the following: English, Irish (his red hair is partially to blame), Scottish, German, Australian, A Northerner, and exactly once if he was from Wales. (Waleish?) ** Welsh. ** I do believe that is my Crowning Moment of Idiocy. *** Hey, I thought you referred to someone from Pakistan as a "Pakistinian". * This troper's father (whose family is Italian) was asked for directions several times in Jamaica. Apparently his skin was darker back then; he's a computer nerd now. ** I don't get it..Blacks can't be computer nerds too?? (Jk :) * This troper has lived in the San Francisco Bay Area his whole life, but his parents are from New York city and lived for several years in Connecticut. Some people in the Bay Area assume he's from New York, some people hear a slight accent, many people hear no accent at all. A few people hear a blend of the East and West Coasts. Nobody from New York hears any New York accent. --(Still the same troper) A couple of Danish tourists in New Jersey thought my father and I were English. And people sometimes thought my grandmother (originally Polish-Jewish, grew up in New York) was British. She traveled widely, so maybe she meant outside the US. * This troper is an anglophone Canadian with a French last name, and is constantly asked if he is from Quebec. He also subverted the trope by having to pretend to be from the United States for his job for three years - a customer service representative for an American mobile

phone company. * In a lot of countries, waiters etc might ask your nationality. Ask them to guess. This Finnish troper has been said Norwegian and Germanian. He wonders why nobody thinks him as Swedish. * Cases like this are why [[@/{{djkates}} I]] never bother trying to guess someone's nationality. While I've never been mistaken for a nonAmerican, apparently, I don't sound much like the Texan I am. * When on holiday in America, this troper and his family (Australian) were repeatedly mistaken for English - because we didn't sound like Steve Irwin. On the same trip, when we got lost at LAX, this troper's grandfather (also Australian, originally from Macedonia) was mistaken for a Mexican by a worker there who started speaking very curtly at him in Spanish - when we established that we weren't Mexicans but were in fact bewildered Australians the guy suddenly became very polite and friendly. * This troper is more German than anything, but due to a freak accident of genetics looks more Irish. This troper's mother, being more German than this troper, has been called the "pretty blonde Asian lady with the British accent." By an Australian and an Asian. * This African-American troper has been mistaken for a Hispanic, probably due to his oddly straight-ish hair. * [[Tropers/AckSed This Northern Irish troper]] has been mistaken for Scottish so many times,he's made it into a game,just to see if they get it right. Thirty or so introductions later,only two people have got it right. One was Scottish. * [[Tropers/{{Yuvalescent}} This troper]] is half Russian Jew, half Austrian-Jew-Swedish-Chinese, living in Australia, with an inexplicable British accent, and has been mistaken for: English (by other Australians), Polish, Czechoslovakian, Italian, Greek (twice, once by an actual Greek man), Spanish, Mexican, Romany (seriously,) and Thai. (!!) * This troper's dad is a light-skinned black guy. He's been mistaken for white and mexican. In fact when the family went to Mexico on vacation, people would just ramdomly come up to him and speak Mexican but because he took French in school he couldn't answer. So the people would get mad until he told them he was both black and from the U.S. * Tropers/{{Shini}} has been mistaken for British ''and'' Russian ever since she moved into the Pacific Northwest. The latter is extremely ridiculous since the city of her current residence has a very large Russian Immigrant population that sounds nothing like her. This Troper's accent? Mississippian with the Inlander accent softening it up. ** This troper is also from Mississippi, and has been mistaken for British (by other Americans), German (by French people), and Russian (by Turks). * [[Tropers/RandomSurfer This Troper]] is often mistaken for being of Italian decent, presumably based on my last name. Which is Spanish. And adopted. And it was my paternal grandfater who was adopted, not me. (For the record: 1/4 Ukranian, 1/4 Lithuanian on my father's side; mixed but mostly English/French on my mother's side.) * [[Tropers/{{LadyNorbert}} This troper]] is often mistaken for Latina. Apparently, having dark hair, huge brown eyes, and a tendency

to tan rather than burn automatically means I should be able to speak Spanish. I've actually been yelled at by complete strangers for not knowing how to speak "the language of my heritage." By rights, that would be ''German;'' I'm almost completely Euromutt, more German and English than anything else, but I have a very small strain of ''Native American'' ancestry as well, and for whatever reason it has a lot to do with my appearance. * Being white and having lived in France during his childhood years, DaNuke is ''always'' mistaken for French, German and Canadian, even though he's so Mexican he can eat a ''raw'' jalapeo without flinching. The fact that he speaks nigh-perfect English, good French and some German really doesn't helps. * This troper has seen a Venezuelan mistake a Ukrainian speaking heavily accented Spanish for a Brasilian. Since then, I've made a point of listening to Brazilian Portuguese online; it actually does sound kind of like Ukrainian or Russian. ** This Brazilian troper seccond this. Altough he never have ostemed an Ukranian or a Russian in his life, his father was mistaked by the same natioalities more then once in trips to Europe, so the accent must be similar. * Inverted with this troper - no one will believe I'm half-Chinese. Until they see my dad, that is... * Happened to this troper while staying in France. Every time I mention I'm Canadian, they assume I'm from Quebec. And when I correct them and say that I'm an English-speaker from Toronto, they seem surprised (despite my heavy English accent when I speak French). ** This troper has been to Germany and France with a girl from PEI who spoke the French taught in Canadian schools, which supposedly makes all Canadians with skill in French sound Canuck. * This American troper has had several people ask where he's from, and are pretty surprised when he answers "here!". Apparently the combination of southern+northern accents makes me sound like a combination of British and Russian, somehow. * This New Zealand-born troper has red hair and is pale. Therefore, a lot of people think he's Irish. Lampshaded when he was asked for ID and had his bag checked at an English bar for the third time, three weeks in a row, by the bouncers. --->Jeez, what is it? Just because I look Irish - must think I'm an IRA member or something. It's not like I'm gonna blow up their bar. ** Whatever your nationality, that quote has earned you a MadeOfWin!! * This troper lived in Germany for a while and would fool people into thinking he's native so long as he kept his mouth shut. One time this troper explained to a high school age group of young people the standard Euromutt background the troper has. Jaws dropped when Irish and Swedish grandparents were mentioned. * This Swedish troper speaks English with a very British accent. His accent is so perfect he has been mistaken for a Londoner. By a Londoner. * This troper and her friend recently went to the movies. Just so you understand this, we're Dutch, but we talk in English all the time, often in British accents (by accident, though). So we started talking and we're both a bit shy, when the guy behind the counter asks if he

can help us. In English. Of course, this couldn't just be passed! We pretended to be English for the rest of the time in the cinema. * [[Tropers/{{Regiment}} This (American) troper]] and his family visited France years ago. Since all of us had taken French in high school (and the aforementioned troper was in high school French at the time), we decided to speak nothing but French to people. Since we spoke English to each other, at least one nice British couple thought we were Canadian. We took it as a compliment. I assume they reasoned so because we clearly spoke mediocre French, but we spoke English with a North American accent. An American wouldn't speak French, they'd speak loud English (we met a group of these, too)- therefore, Canadian. * This Troper has very bad luck with this. Some people never notice that Portugal is not Spain, and Portuguese is not Spanish. Also, when he went to the UK, a group of Turks mistook him for one of them. And in general most people assumed he was Indian. Back in Portugal some people call me gypsy (don't really know why). The multiple fake accents don't help much. * [[Tropers/{{Meshakhad}} This (American) troper]] was once assumed to be Israeli. I spoke to an Israeli woman in Hebrew (while wearing an IDF T-Shirt) and she asked if I had been in the army. Apparently, I don't have an American accent when speaking Hebrew. And there was the time I was assumed to be English, simply because I was shown in a documentary on an English school I was attending, and I didn't open my mouth. * This troper is American by birth, by descent Italian/German, with a tiny bit of Welsh. Very pale skin, very dark hair, very blue eyes. However, I've been mistaken (to my face) as German, French, Spanish and Irish. Oh, and someone assumed I was ''Korean''. The European ones are understandable, but... what the hell? Just... what? * As a child, this Irish troper spoke in a strange accent, one he'd had no exposure to, and was frequently mistaken as English. * Between his mixed accent and his habit of carrying a large camera, this troper is routinely mistaken for a British tourist - even though he's only rarely left the United States. * This Canadian Troper is frequently mistaken for an American of Irish descent, when in fact he is of Scottish descent via Nova Scotia. * This Troper, who is Australian, has a bizarre psychosomatic accent, which changes depending on my mood. People have asked me ''so many times'' where I'm from that I've taken to simply answering "Guess" and letting their imaginations run wild. I have in my time been asked if I'm: English, American, Scottish, Irish, French, Canadian and in one case, Spanish. No-one has EVER guessed that I'm Australian born and bred on their first guess and few ever guess it at all unless I tell them. In fact several people have, after I've told them I was born in Australia, questioned me about my ''family background,'' convinced that I must have got my accent from my parents (who have no accent). * I'm a native American, little-n native; third generation Yank, rarely left the home state, and, barring a week in Vancouver BC, never left the country. I have lost count of how many times I have been asked just where I'm from, and typically people guess that I'm Russian. Granted, I have a strong Slavic accent, but it's entirely

fake. * This troper, born and bred Australian, has been mistaken for American. IN AUSTRALIA. As far as I can tell, I have absolutely no trace of American accent. (On the other hand, when on a trip in California and Arizona, I was mistaken for a Floridian. What? If anything, my accent is closest to a New Yorker's!) ** Given that you are Australian Florida whould be a reasonable guess if your accent is tinged New York. For large parts of Florida the accent is best described as almost but not quite from New York. * [[Tropers/{{L-chan}} This Venezuelan troper]] advises you against trying to guess her nationality just by her looks, because of Venezuela being a true melting pot where people of all races mate and reproduce, making difficult to guess at first sight where someone is from. She has been asked once if she was from some country of eastern Europe, and her sister has been repeatedly confused for Arabic or Lebanese, despite both being Nth native mixed-race generation, and the most exotic they have found in their genealogical tree was one grandgrandparent from Spain. Strangely, this troper is confused for a people of another ''city'': because of her MotorMouth speech she is identified as a native of Maracaibo, a city whose inhabitants are famed for their speedy speech; in fact, she have been born and lived all her life in Caracas, raised by her Andinian grandmother, whose respective singing and pasty accents are pretty distinctive. * This mexican troper has been mistaken from Chinese to Israelite, and almost everything in between. The fact that I use a lot of foreing words (Schmuck, kawai, ce' la vie, boer...) doesn't help either * This Scottish troper's coined a term to describe what she's most often mistaken for: Mistakey Jamaikey. (This troper is also black.) * This Chinese troper has been mistaken for a Filipino and his grandfather has been mistaken for a Mexican and Native American. * As a child, this New Zealander troper learned to speak partly by watching Sesame Street, and its influence on his/my accent means that even a quarter-century later, strangers often take me for American or Canadian. Fair enough. My father's Australian, so being taken for a Ocker is also common. But, really: with those linguistic influences, how the heck could my dialect be mistaken for '''Israeli''' by other Kiwis!? * [[Tropers/PG556 This troper]] has a mixed background from across the UK, and his family has been in Australia for several generations... and somehow, he is the only one to not have an Aussie accent. The questions "Are you British?" and "Were you born in America?" have been asked too many times.... and yes, its either one or the other, people can't make up their minds. * Our literature teacher went the U.S.A. for her vacations and took photos of of all the classroom(mexicans) to her old students there, once she returned she proceed to tell us that for some reason many of us were confused as Asians... * This troper is often mistaken as as Sigaporean, when she is in fact born and bred in Hong Kong, by other Hong Kongers and Sigaporeans. It probably has something to do with my non-accented english. Both my sisters and cousin have been mistaken as Japanese, while my friend has been mistaken for being a Latino.

* This troper was once thought to be, based on his accent, Irish, Polish, and English. In that order. It didn't help that his accent was halfway constructed (see TroperTales/OohMeAccentsSlipping). * This has never happened to this Scottish troper, but her sister was once asked by a tourist which part of America she came from. When the tourist was corrected, they were very apologetic. * This Floridian troper has been mistaken, on the basis of his accent, for being from Brooklyn, The Midwest, Appalachia, Canada, and Houston, not just without trying, but without leaving Florida. To be fair, it's sort of a hodgepodge of numerous American accents of the sort that can only come from living one's whole life in Broward County. * Mistaken for Korean, Japanese, or Chinese. Never Vietnamese or Hmong! Wonder why - Filipinos don't usually have "Asian eyes", but mines aren't as dramatic as Japanese or Chinese. * This troper made friends with a guy in the beginning days of uni. One of the many factors in this friendship was that we were both of a Native American/Cacasian descent. However, while this troper has dark hair and does tan very well, his friend is blonde hair, blue eyes, and paler than ghost. Ironically, he has a scholarship for being Native American while I don't (never bothered applying/ don't know the exact tribe and whether I would qualify as a member). * Having thick (curly before I had it cut) black hair and olive skin, this troper has been asked if she was everything from Greek to Italian to Mexican to Australian (!?) to Israeli to Arabic. Usually they'll ask where I'm from, then where I was born, and disappointed that yes I was BORN here, they'll press on to demand to where my parents were born (in all cases, somewhere in the midwest), and then they'll just come out and ask "Well, what's your nationality/race/heritage/ethnicity?" Cause apparently it's inconceivable that a white person who doesn't look like a WASP could ''possibly'' be American. * Tropers/{{Tabby}} has a classic Newscaster accent with a tendency to slip into inexplicable Southernisms (seriously, ''nobody I have ever met'' says "y'all" or "them as," and yet I do), and was still once accused by a customer of being British. The customer then ''argued'' with her and insisted that she must at least have a British family. Not for the last three hundred years! ** This was made even weirder when a coworker, upon hearing about this, immediately responded, "Yeah, it's 'cause of the way you talk." * This Canadian-born-and-raised troper has been mistaken for English (''possibly'' because of her generally careful, precise way of speaking...?). She is sure that there is an obvious joke in there somewhere. * [[TheBlunderingWriter This Troper]] is sometimes mistaken for a Japanese person, especially when everyone knows that he openly fanboys anime. I am actually Chinese. People even come up to me asking what Asian type I was... * [[Tropers/{{onyhow}} This troper]] is a Chinese-descended Thai who has been mistaken for Japanese. Even a genuine Japanese says he looks like one, to his confusion. * This troper is a half Chinese, half EuroAmerican mongrel that has been mistaken for Korean and Russian.

* This troper is half-Austrian (NOT German) and half-Italian. Every single time I explain what ethnicity I am, I always have to explain where, exactly, Austria is. Some people have misheard me and asked, "Australia?" This, while I was wearing an "Austria" T-shirt ''with the Austrian flag on it.'' * [[Tropers/WhiteRoseDuelist This troper]] is often mistaken for Jewish, because apparently only Jews are allowed to have dark hair and beards. * [[Tropers/AssumeAVirtue This Canadian troper]] is of English and Scottish stock (with a touch of irish). However, his grandmother was born in China (to English and Irish parents). When he reveals this to others, they will remark "yeah, I can totally see that". They, in fact, cannot. * This troper is Irish. She has a job in a shop that is in a different parish. It's a ten-minute drive from her house where she has lived since her parents brought her home from the hospital after birth. Many customers have asked her if she's going back to the States after the summer is over. * This troper's father came from one of the Greek islands, but was often mistaken for Mexican -- an illusion he often took advantage of in his sales job, and helped by the fact that he was extremely fluent in Spanish. I myself has been told I look very Mexican -- but I don't ''sound'' the least bit Mexican, so should I ever need to pass, I should keep my mouth shut. ** Reverse Anthony Quinn in Zorbas? * This Ukrainian troper is mistaken for either English or Russian too many times for her liking. The worst thing is, even after she tells them people still mistake her for another nationality. * This very Asian-looking troper who was born in the US and grew up with next to no knowledge of any Asian culture or language is fine with the frequent question "Where do you come from?" as her parents did immigrate here from Thailand. She's also okay with people mistaking her to be Chinese, as Thailand isn't as well-known as China. What she isn't okay with is people assuming that she doesn't know English before she's even opened her mouth. Sometimes ''after'' she's already spoken in perfect English, just because her voice sounds accented. ** If you think that's offensive, try somebody talking to you in some gangsta-rap lingo just because you're Black. Although, it is mighty hilarious when you respond with "Excuse me, sir. I speak American standard English. I'd appreciate if you'd do the same." I only got to do it once, I wish I could do it again. *** Crowning. Moment. Of. MUTHAFRAKKIN' AWESOME! to the Black troper above. * Fading Echo grew up in the hills of [[DeepSouth Georgia]] and has a Southern accent thick enough to cut with a knife, but can speak fluent and unaccented German when she chooses, and happens to have pale skin, blonde hair, and blue eyes. She got some ''very'' strange looks during her trip to Europe when she abruptly shifted from speaking very capable and region-neutral German to pure Dixie English. * To [[Tropers/{{Ergonomical}} this Finnish troper]]'s joy, his English accent has started to sound authentic enough for people to

have mistaken him for a non-Finnish person at where he's working. So yeah, I've been asked "Are you Finnish? 'cause you don't sound Finnish" 4 times now (usually the exact question but 4 different people anyhow) and once when I asked the person in question what nationality did I sound like then I was only replied "cute". I wonder where in Europe that is... * This troper is Italian by heritage, but is often mistaken for Spanish. To be fair, though, my last name could go either way, and we ''do'' live in heavily-hispanic Florida. * This troper is mixed-European, but frequently mistaken for Arab. Sometimes it's because I know some Arabic, and sometimes people just guess that I am. * This troper, a Canadian with a French Immersion certificate, went on a school trip to France. Some schoolkids on the train heard her and her classmates speaking in English and began saying disparaging things about Americans. When they got up to disembark, the troper turned to the loudest one and said in French, "En fait, nous sommes Canadiens...et votre tirette est ouverte." ("Actually, we're Canadians...and your fly is down.") * This troper is an European mutt, raised in California. Imagine her confusion when someone thought she was British. After heading her talk. That was after someone asked if she was from New Jersey since she apparently sounded like that. And that's just her voice. People assume she is Irish due to her last name. However, in this case, it comes from ''Italy'' and got mangled on the way over. Though someone said she looked like she was from New Zealand. Huh. Color the troper confused. ** But even New Zealanders don't look like they're from New Zealand! * This troper is a Filipina immigrant to New Zealand who lived in Michigan for ten months when she was seven. The Midwest accent is the main part of her hybrid accent. In New Zealand, she is Mistaken for American or, more often lately, Canadian. In the States, strangers only noticed she was foreign when she pointed it out. On one occasion in New Zealand a Cantonese man approached her and began speaking in Cantonese... * This American troper astounded a car-full of Japanese students at her language school when she was asked if she was half-Japanese and said no. She does, however, have some native Siberian ancestors possibly very, very distantly related to the Japanese, and got their phenotype very strongly. Subverted when a friend guessed that she's Russian, without any prior indication whatsoever. * Not quite the same as everybody else on this but this troper had a story about thinking my heritage was something else. This troper used to do tech support an online college and talked to people from all around the world. One day this very annoying long talker type instructor called in and needed help setting up a class for the next semester. This instructor has an annoy habit that if you help her with something and you don't resolve the issue on the call she will only talk to you because "you already know the issue at hand" even though she may talk to someone who created the FUCKING APPLICATION. Any ways, towards the end of the call she asked what my names was even though at the start of the call I clearly said my name (which is Anthony). To

which she asked me if I was Italian. Take it I was born in America, has a nerscast accent, and as far as I know I do not have any Italian heritage. I told her I was not Italian to which I ended up telling her I was Irish and Scottish in heritage. After the call this troper from that day forth become known as the "Italian Stallion". * This Troper has been mistaken for british because he sounds like Hugh Laurie doing his "House" accent. Since Laurie is british, I must be, too. Apparently. * [[Tropers/{{Gobolt}} This Finnish troper]] has been mistaken for a native English person various times now. Sometimes even in his ''home city''. * This American troper was mistaken for British and Russian in close succession by different people. * [[Tropers/{{Cydrius}} This French Canadian troper]] learnt english very early in life. Thus, when writing on the net, he is often mistaken for American. * [[Tropers/{{Xander77}} This Troper's]] arrived in Israel by way of Russia at the tender age of 8. He also learned Englsh quite early, and speaks it "good very". The resulting accent results in him being believed to be South-American /North American much more often than the Russian connection is made. * [[Tropers/{{KariGray}} This Troper]] is nearly ALWAYS mistaken as someone from Pakistan and the like because although she's Turkish, her skin's darker than most (sorta caramel) because of some Egyptian/Albanian blood in the family tree. But the REALLY funny looks come when she speaks. She has an American accent. * This Welsh troper has been mistaken for several different nationalities due to a strange muddled accent that her mother blames on Sesame Street. The list includes Irish, Scottish, Australian, Canadian, Northern English, and most commonly American. Only one person has ever guessed Welsh, and that was before this troper opened her mouth (so apparently she at least ''looks'' Welsh...) * This Aussie troper has been mistaken as an American, since she lived there for two years and the remnants apparently still exist 16 years later. Why do American accents stick so much!? * fistshake* * In a minor case, almost everyone asks [[Tropers/{{LittleMai}} This Tropette]] if there's japanese blood in her family. And no, there is not. She only happens to have straight brown hair and small eyes, that's all! * Averted by [[@/{{This-guy}} me.]] Instead of guessing, people always just ask. After I tell them (Mixed Jamaican/Italian/Assyrian), they only ever mention the black part. It's Jamaican not black, but I don't really care. ** Though I've been told I look like a Mohammed. Whatever that means ** Now, that's what I call a mix! * This American/Filipino troper lives in East Tennessee and is usually assumed to be Mexican. Even though I'm really pale. Even though there's another half-Filipino student who doesn't have the same problem. Things are usually cleared up when I confirm that I'm halfFilipino through an F-bomb packed rant. (Hey, it's not my fault the same idiots who think I'm Latino also happen to be extremely racist

pricks.) * This Troper's father was once told he could pass for Pakistani. * This Troper is German and routinely mistaken for British - by Americans - or Scandinavian - by everyone else - when speaking English... even when she swears like a motherfucker (apparently that's cute instead). * This Texan troper with an ancestry comprising of German/English/Czech/French/Scots-Irish was recently thought to be Iranian. * This troper has been in Australia since he was three, with an Australian father and English-German mother. ''Nobody'' seems to know what his accent is, not even him. * This troper has never been mistaken for another nationality in person, but while playing an MMO, he once got got called "Asian" for not using chatspeak. [[ I wish I were joking.]] * This happens to this Puerto Rican troper alot. Only Mexicans speak Spanish apparently. * This troper has mistaken a lot of her darker friends for black, when they were actually Hispanic; you would think that being in a Hispanicdominant community would have been a clue... * This Asian troper tends to do this a lot, unfortunately. It's not my fault all you white people look alike! (For some reason, it's only whites. I can tell blacks, Native Americans from various tribes, and Hispanics apart easily.) * This Australian Tropers has jokingly been labeled as the 'Fake Swedish Girl' by a Scandanavian-Obsessed friend due to her blond hair, blue eyes, strangely pale skin (considering the Australian sun) and just her general look...(I didn't mind the title though) she is however fourth generation Australian * This troper is perpertually chased by this trope. He's Brazilian, and despite being born in raised in Par, a northen state, he was always mistaken by someone born in So Paulo, a southern state (note that the old concept that southerns are country bumpkins are inverted in Brazil, so everyone always saw me as a snarky nobleman, or such crap.). This makes me feel like ThatIdiotFromOsaka. Okay, so that's not actually a mistaken Nationality, but I'm not over. I've been mistaken for a Bolivian, a Argentinian, a freaking ''German'' (I don't even fit with the steriotypical description fo a German!), and a American tourist mistook me for a fellow American, not because I speak perfectly good English, but because I speak English ''at all''. * This troper has been mistaken for Swedish (presumably on the basis of my height), Polish (on the basis of my middle name), French (because I was wearing a beret), and German (in Germany... because I was reading a book in German...). I'm English! * Most of this troper's classmates have at some point commented on her "British accent." She's been living in the same Southern California city as most of them for her entire life, and isn't an Anglophile. Apparently Americans aren't supposed to enunciate. She has recently come to suspect that another reason for the error is the same reason people mistake her singing for opera - tall vowels. Lack of them is, to her ears, the most prominent feature of the standard California accent.

* This troper's dad is Arab and her mom is American. She looks like her mom, so when she told her friends she was half arab, they were surprised. * This troper is half-Cambodian on his mother's side, half-lots-ofEurope-but-mainly-Italian on his father's. (His [[@/{{No Pronunciation Guide}} surname]] doesn't help in the ''least'', even if he insists, "Come on, it's got 'gio' in it! Like 'Giovanni!' ") The most common guess people give is Filipino; the closest people ever get is Thai (which this troper doesn't mind ''so'' much, since he himself describes Cambodians as "half of us look Vietnamese, half of us look Thai"). * [[http://i25.tinypic.com/2ui7w34.jpg This]] troper is Black with traces of Native American and Irish ancestry. Why do people think she's ASIAN?! ** It's the eyes. * This Spanish troper is working to avert this trope with her mother: we're going to New York for a week this summer, and if I hadn't convinced her to dye her hair a strawberry blonde color, or to postpone going to the beach until after we're back in Spain, my mother would have looked thoroughly Latin. It doesn't help that she speaks English at about a first-grade level. The troper herself, though, has dark eyes and hair, but is pale as a corpse and is fairly good at getting rid of any bothersome accents in her speech. * [[Tropers/PurplePantherGirl This troper]] is not English. She is Welsh, German, Scottish and Jewish mostly, but also Irish, American, Australian, Dutch and French, but not English. * Years of watching American TV has caused this (Asian) Troper to develop a Midwestern accent. I've been mistaken for American quite a few times. * This (French born, raised in the US and France, all-French ancestry) troper has been asked if he's French, American, Russian (I have a very low temperature threshold) and from "some Arab country" (sic) (Bearded, don't drink alcohol, never party. [[BigEater But you should see me eat pork...]]) * On an online game, this troper was once asked by someone if she was from the Philippines. She isn't, and replied as such. The other person then enquired if I was ''xur''. To this day I have no idea what they were trying to say.... * A girl in [[Tropers/{{Odile}} this troper's]] class was convinced I was from Eastern Europe. I'm an American of German-Dutch-Anglo-Italian descent living in the US, and as far as I know I speak with a bland Californian accent. * [[Tropers/TheMantis This Troper]] is a purebred mutt-- that is to say, both sides of my family are mixed race. German-Cherokee on mom's side, Irish-Filipino on dad's. Do I look white? No, too dark. Do I look Asian? Only if I've already told you. Do I look Cherokee? Only when re-enacting. Most people say I look Mediterranian, or rarely, Hawaiian. (To date, one person identified me as "Polynesian or Malaysian") Doesn't help that I speak a little of [[GratuitousGerman four]] [[YiddishAsASecondLanguage or]] [[GratuitousSpanish five]] [[GratuitousFrench languages]] outside of English and tend to [[AltumVidetur drop them into my sentences]]. It's worse for my

brothers; my twin bro looks whiter than Paul [=McCartney=] except for his eyes, and everyone asks my if my little brother is adopted from China. We've all got the same genes to work with. You can guess how it goes when I have to check the "Ethnicity" box on a scholarship application... * This troper's brother (we're from the American south, but neither of us have noticeable accents) was in France when he used this trope to his advantage. Before arriving in Paris, his plane had stopped in Germany and he bought a German football jacket which he then wore everywhere. He also has blond hair and speaks German better than he does French. So when he overheard a couple of French girls talking about "that hot German guy", he immediately turned to his friend and started speaking to him in German, putting on a show for the girls. * I'm originally from Alaska, and when taking an "American Accent quiz" online based on how you pronounce things, it told me I was Canadian. ** To be fair, it's right feakin' there. * This Texan troper is generally assumed to be from the heartland by people not familiar with the Texas accent. I apparent mix up a lot of things and speak in a very clear manner (I'm also a ham radio operator), and my generic Ulster Scot/Scott Irish (I'm not offended by the latter term, unlike some oversensitive folks) looks muddle the matter further. * This Irish troper has red hair, blue eyes and pale skin. He was once asked "Are you Palestinian?" by another boy of the same ethnicity and physical description. * When she was a foreign exchange student in Guatemala, this halfWhite, half-Chinese American troper was sometimes mistaken for a fellow Guatemalan whenever she wore her glasses to conceal her epicanthic folds (technical term to describe what causes the characteristic Asian "slanty" eyes) of her eyes. Having dark brown hair, brown eyes, beige skin, and being short helps too. ** On a related note, this same troper's half-Chinese, half-White brother often gets mistaken for Mexican while in the United States, sometimes by actual Hispanics. He has black hair, brown eyes, lacks epicanthic folds, but is actually rather pale. * This (Australian in Tonga) lurker is constantly mistaken for American ('cause all whites in Tonga are American Peace Corps. Aren't they?) except by Americans who think I'm a Kiwi (New Zealander). Even the Kiwi's think I'm a Yank. Back home I'm mistaken for British due to my Oxford accent. * [[Tropers/LoneCentrist This Troper]], of almost completely Northern European ancestry, British, Scottish, Irish, Swedish and some Cherokee, has lost count of the times people have mistaken him as Jewish... maybe it's the curly hair and self-deprecating humor? Oi vey... * This [[Tropers/TheStupidExclamationMark Troper]] actually is halfDutch, half-French, with a German last name. He has been mistaken for coming from Belgium a few times, and in one memorable instance, from the Middle East, only because his last name sounds vaguely like a common Arabic name (hint: part of it is a common German word), and despite being Western European-looking.

* This [[Tropers/{{Azzizzi}} Troper]] once passed himself off as British. I was on liberty (time off from a Navy vessel) in a town in Spain where a lot of British people vacation. The buddy system was in effect for safety reasons and my buddy had gone down the street to another bar. The American shore patrol showed up. If they caught me without my buddy, I'd have been in trouble, so I just acted like I was part of a group of Brits seated near me. One of the shore patrol asked me a question about something on the television. In my best (but not at all good) British accent, I answered the question and carried on a short conversation. The shore patrol left and the Brits were all curious as to why I had put on the accent. After I explained, they laughed and I figured I had done a good job with the accent, but they spent the next few minutes describing what I sounded like with comments that ranged from "retarded Scot" to "New Zealander with a lisp." * This Troper once volunteered at a hospital. I was working alongside a nice Asian guy. One old woman asked me where I was from, and then asked if me and him were brother and sister. (I wanted to play along, but he was no fun!) I've also been mistaken for English. I'm Irish. * Because I'm half Filipino, people had mistaken me from being Korean to Mexican. Once, someone asked me if I knew Spanish and when I said no, he asked if my parents or grandparents knew. Finally, I said, "We're Filipino." He paused and started talking to me in Tagalog. (I didn't know Tagalog either.) * This Australian troper has been repeatedly mistaken for American, including by other Australians. I was born in Australia. My parents were born and lived their whole lives in Australia. So were my grandparents. On both sides. I have never been to any American continent at all, much less for most of my childhood. Why do you people think I'm from the States? Why? * [[Tropers/{{Crion87}} This Australian troper]] has sometimes been [[{{BerserkButton}} mistaken for English]]...how come? Probably due to my speech being more than the usual local slang drawl. His (now-ex) girlfriend looked like a 18-year-old slightly odd-looking racially nondescript girl. She was actually 1/4 Chinese, the rest was PolishAustralian, and she was OlderThanTheyLook. Awfully cute too. * One of [[Tropers/{{Antigone2}} this troper's]] friends is halfJapanese, half mixed-American, with a Germanic last name. He can't count the number of people who walk up to him and start speaking Spanish, because he's gotta be Mexican, right? * Well, this one's always fun. I don't really look Hispanic and so most people usually assume that I'm an American until I start spouting Spanish at them. For some reason, I have been known to slip into a bad English accent without realizing it and so I've gotten asked if I'm British before. * I'm 5'6"/5'7", nicely built, light brown hair, blue eyes, Celtic complexion. Born and raised in Maine. Nobody ever believes it, thoughI've been mistaken for English, French, Canadian, Greek (???), and "no, really, where are you from?". Part of this is because my parents were insistent that we know how to speak properly, even if we didn't always do so. Also, my father was Canadian and my mother is a retired English teacher. And I read a lot of British books. Add nine years of

doing Gilbert & Sullivan plus opera to that, and you have an accent that is apparently hard to place matched with an appearance that could be from almost anywhere in North America, Australia, or Europe. * [[Tropers/ZiggyStardustForever This troper]] is Canadian (born and raised in Alberta), but, apparently, speaks with a different accent. People constantly mistake her for being American (Boston or New York, usually), or sometimes even Australian! [[Tropers/ZiggyStardustForever This troper]] is still trying to figure that one out... * During one holiday to San Francisco, this British troper's mother was complimented by an American lady, who asked: "I love your accent, what state do you come from?" On another occasion, we had to politely explain that we were not Australians to a group of Americans. Who turned out to be Canadians. [[HilarityEnsues Hilarity Ensued]]. * This (English) Troper was once asked "What accent is that?" by another person in my school. We live in Yate, a small town near Bristol. Everyone here has Bristolian accents. I was not only born and raised in Bristol, but so was the majority of my family on both sides. My accent is just a lot harder to notice.(My theory is that I'm spending so much time on youtube that I'm picking up a mix of accents.) * This troper is a pale Caucasian. Nevertheless, he has been asked if he is Chinese. It remains the most befuddling thing to happen to this troper. * People ask if I'm Japanese, Korean, Chinese... Anything BUT Malaysian! * I'm black, but people always ,always ,always think I'm mixed, and people think I'm hispanic sometimes. Oh and Canadian, I don't get that one. * I'm Colombian and have lived there my whole life, except for a 3 weeks vacation period abroad (at the time). Once, during class in my home city with other people from the same city, I casually mentioned I was going to spend a week in Argentina. I've never understood why they assumed I was Argentinian. They have quite the accents and I had NEVER been there, and my family has no Argentinian heritage at all. I'm pale, but rather short. * While on trip to Europe through this troper's high school she was mistaken for German while in Italy, so yeah. * This troper is Dominican, both parents born and raised over there. I have been often been mistaken for being half black and half white (which is truish due to race but not ethnicity). My father will occasionally get Middle Eastern, my mother and one of my younger sisters as Indian (my mom will get asked if she's from India, my sister, Trinidad). My youngest sister has yet to be asked as far as I know. Clearly no one is supposed to know what anyone in my immediate family is. * This troper has been mistaken... To list: Japanese, Chinese, Filipeno, Maylasian, Indian (....Yeah.), British, Taiwanese, Hong Kong (I-I don't even.....), Thai, Vietnamese, and....-drumrollRussian..... Yeah. I DON'T EVEN KNOW........ I'm pure KOREAN. Stop mistaking for random things! * This troper, born and bred American Jew, has been mistaken for an immigrant many, many times. No one can agree on where, though. He's

apparently sometimes Mexican, Puerto Rican, Chilean, Israeli, German, Russian, and Cuban. He had ancestors who passed through Cuba on their way to the United States from Spain, almost a century ago. That's the closest he is to any of those. He was actually mistaken for Puerto Rican for over a year by Puerto Ricans themselves, until several of his school's Puerto Rican community studied Spanish in the same class as he and they couldn't place his accent (it was Ladino-derived, which is related to Spanish). It was their confusion that led to one girl from among them asking me where I came from, and shared interest in comparative heritage with her led, years later, to a year-long relationship that ended relatively well (and they remain friends). Usually, before that, Mistaken Nationality was a BerserkButton for this troper, but since then he's taken to seeing it as just another aspect of himself * Because of [[Tropers/MakiP This Troper's]] unusual speak pattern she has ALWAYS been confused with a mexican, the fact that she lived a couple of years in Mexico doesn't help. * This troper has been told she looks Irish. That is, with the stereotypical pale skin and reddish hair. Subverted because I am part Irish, but the coloring comes from my father's English/German side. My all-Irish grandmother has dark hair and tans wonderfully while I burn. Also, while not a nationality mistake, when I lived in a small town I was told I had a 'city accent', which in all fairness could have been picked up by my mother. Later, after moving to the same city, someone said I sounded Southern. I'm from the northern East Coast! I've been to Nashville twice, but I've certainly never lived below the MasonDixon line! * I'm American, although my mum is English and around 4 AM I start to forget what you Americans call your inferior version of cheese on toast, and I have a bit of an English accent. My accent has been mistaken for Scottish, and for no good reason at all and according to my dad, I look decidedly Hispanic in my state ID photo. ** Also, I know someone who has dark hair and eyes and a pale olive complexion, and is very into learning Japanese. She's been to Japanese camp, has a Facebook photo of her in front of a statue of a [[RedOniBlueOni blue oni]], often wears colourful tabi, and talks a lot about visiting Japan. She doesn't actually look all ''that'' Japanese, but for some reason I was convinced for about eight months that she's half-Japanese. * Tropers/{{Muse}} is often mistaken for Hispanic, as she has a dark skin tone and hair while everyone else in her family is fair and blond. She gets a kick out of this, seeing as her heritage is entirely eastern European. Also, she apparently sometimes develops a Britishsounding accent when she speaks. Well, since she's from the North (New England), she thinks its a little fitting. :P * This Troper's been mistaken for being a Londoner by cabbies, South African by store-owners, New-Zealander by friends of friends, and once I got "So, what part of Canada you from?" off a fishmonger. WTF, PEOPLE? I was born in Australia, and I've lived here in [[OopNorth West Yorkshire]] for the last thirteen years! Surely a childhood accent doesn't take that long to fade?! * [[Tropers/DivineRose125 This Troper]], being Hispanic, has been

mistaken for being Mexican, Puerto Rician, Ecuadorian, Argentine, (and believe it or not, Arab), among other things. I'm really Chilean, my parents were born in there. * This Troper has often been mistaken for being half-Caucasian while in East Asia, whether in Taiwan, Mainland China, Hong Kong, or Japan (both of my parents are Taiwanese and both sides had lived there since the 1600's). It doesn't help that I sound like an American when I speak (my limited) Mandarin or Japanese. My brother does not have this issue. ** While in Japan, I have also had random Japanese people converse to me, them only figuring out that I'm not Japanese by my blank stare thanks to my poor speaking skills and slow response time (this also happened to my cousin once). There was another time I was searching for a ryokan that my family had stayed in six years prior, and a family from France came up to me and asked in Japanese if I could help them find a ryokan. Fortunately, they understood English and we managed to find it (they were the same one). * This Troper - brown, very curly hair, slightly tan skin, blue eyes, always using strange euphemisms, shows an interest in Russian culture. Apparently I'm Afghan or Pakistani or maybe Israeli. Never mind that I'm 100% Irish. Even my name is Irish! I have the bloody flag on my shoes! Plus, in Atlantic United States, it is ALWAYS reasonable to assume EVERYONE you meet is Irish by descent. * Just because [[Tropers/{{MiraShio}} Mira-chan]] is a PaleSkinnedBrunette who speaks English well, it doesn't mean she's American. And how the heck did some of her classmates get the idea that she's part-Brazilian? Nope, Mira-chan is mainly Filipina with British and German blood. * This troper is a Filipino who has mainly Spanish and native blood. So how the hell did some Chinese lady, whom the troper thinks is asking for directions approach him and saying random Chinese words AT HIM? Seriously. * [[Tropers/{{Jedielf}} This Aussie Chinese troper]] has had a few Japanese people come up to her and ask her some stuff. * This Troper is probably the whitest you can be without being an albino. In Elementary school, he was mistaken for Chinese, with people attempting to bully him for that. * [[Tropers/{{Mhwal}} This Canadian Troper]] had an interesting exchange with a cashier at a convenience store outside London while travelling in Europe. When I was buying a magazine, he pointed to the US price, and joked, "I'll have to charge you that." I replied, "Actually, I'm from Canada," and pointed to the (higher...) Canadian price. The cashier proceeded to ask me what the weather was like in Canada. * This troper is a mixture of generically white Anglo-American ancestry(British, Scottish, etc.), with some Armenian/Middle Eastern thrown in. People have mistaken him for Latino(Cuban seems to be popular), Eastern European, Arab, Turkish(at least that one makes sense, my ancestors used to live there back when it was TheOttomanEmpire), and ''Korean''. [[FlatWhat What]]. * [[Tropers/{{Sharysa}} This Filipino-American troper]] has been mistaken for various other Asian ethnicities, mostly Chinese and

Japanese, due to her light-ish skin, straight hair, and angular face. Because Filipinos ''[[SarcasmMode all]]'' [[SarcasmMode have deeplytanned skin, rounded facial features, and wavy hair.]] It sucks because her last name is ''Spanish'', and should have been a dead giveaway. * This (mostly) Puerto Rican troper has never had this happen to her personally however her family members have been though of as Mexican, Domincan, ''Italian'', etc. Even by their best friends. * This troper has been mistaken as Hispanic by classmates before, despite being white. Probably justified in that she happened to be in a predominately Hispanic environment and has features (dark brown hair, somewhat brown skin, hazel eyes) that could plausibly be construed as Hispanic. Interestingly, none of her family members have been mistaken as Hispanic, although her family members also have pinker skin and lighter hair, so... I guess it makes sense? * [[@/{{Griffinguy24}} This troper]] once mistook an Australian for a Brit. He will '''NEVER''' make that presumption again. * This (South African) troper is often mistaken for a Brit, and almost equally as often for an Aussie. I don't actually mind. In fact, I make a point of cultivating my accent in order to make it difficult to place: I call it my "melting pot" accent: part Oxford, part Cockney, part Aussie, part Irish, part Scottish, part Canadian, and all on a thin South African base. * This troper is born in New Zealand, has a Scottish mother and has an Irish last name. So many people expect her to have an Irish accent when they read her name and are surprised when she speaks with a Kiwi accent. She also gets people who expect her to speak with a Scottish accent, and she has been mistaken for an Australian. * This (African-American) troper is usually mistaken for being Latino, Native American, Indian, Lebanese, Iranian, and Filipino. This has led to so many incidents of people speaking a different language to me and then being upset because they wonder why I'm not responding, racist comments at me referring to a ethic group I don't belong in, and last but not least being pulled out of lines at the airport. All because I become kind of pale during the winter. * This Welsh troper has been mistaken for American in the past due to her drawly accent. * This troper is half Swedish-American, half Czech-American. For some reason, people think I'm Greek. I have no idea why. I'm short and blonde, with large eyes, a small nose, and a large mouth. I've seriously had people walk up to me and try to converse with me in Greek. * [[Tropers/{{Myles}} This troper]] is as black as it gets, but would love to play "guess my nationality" with unsuspecting people. Seriously, I've gotten Jamaican, Somalian, Nigerian, even Irish (admittedly, that last one was really a joke). If you're wondering, I'm Afro-Guyanese and Canadian-born. * This tropers friend is NOT A MUSLIM, for the last time. She is of Pakistan desent, but that doesn't mean she follows Islam. * This fandubbing troper has received a lot of comments on her accent, mostly from the UK. England, Scotland, Ireland... Rather close, for a Cultivated AustralianAccent, but it always bothers me.

* [[Tropers/SirPsychoSexy This troper]] is Caucasian, but with black hair and brown eyes. He has been mistaken for ''Japanese'' on several occasions- mostly BY PEOPLE FROM JAPAN. The fact that he speaks the language, and that he was usually cosplaying as [[YuYuHakusho Shinobu Sensui]] at the time (the Japanese [[AmericansHateTingle tend to like him more than Americans do]]) '''did not help matters'''. He also was mistaken for Japanese-''American'' by a Japanese-American Sensui fan [[{{Irony}} who severly hated the notion]] [[HypocriticalHumor of white people cosplaying]]. ** He's also been mistaken for a Spaniard while '''IN SPAIN''', mainly because of his fluency in Spanish and his (acquired) Castilian accent when speaking the language. He had to whip out his American passport to people who didn't believe he wasn't a native, and one woman told him [[{{Eagleland}} she was surprised because she thought all Americans were stupid]]. In the latter case, it saved him some humiliation, since his aunt, who went with him on the trip, stuck out like a sore thumb because she didn't speak Spanish and she dressed like a stereotypical tourist, and, while in Barcelona, a guy peed on her to express anti-American sentiment (this was during the beginning of the invasion of Iraq). So, yeah, lucky break there. * [[@/{{Neakal}} I am]] Swiss. Somehow, there seems to be a common thing with people confusing Switzerland with Sweden. I forgot the number of times it has happened. And it wasn't just in English. Having lived in Turkey for numerous years, it was amazing to have the ''same'' problem pop up there. To top things, I have a Swedish friend who was confused as being Swiss. Hell, when President Bush confuses the two, you might as well change your citizenship. ** On a side note, my accent seems to confuse people too. I've been asked if I am Slavic, Russian, German (close enough), Scandinavian, French and [[FlatWhat ''Irish'']]. * [[Tropers/AceNoctali This French Troper]] spent a one-year study trip in Japan, and got to talk with a lot of locals. Those who were wary of me at first opened up ''instantly'' as soon as I told them I'm French : they thought I was an [[{{Eagleland}} Eaglelander]]. * Tropers/{{Excel-2010}}. I actually subvert this. Throughout my years in school I've been assumed to be many kinds of Asian, but mostly Chinese. This and the names that I much later discovered were racial epithets never bothered me. The kicker is that I learned from my father in my last year in middle school that I'm half-Filipino, quarter-Spanish, quarter-Chinese. While all of those people were technically correct in assuming I'm Chinese, they never guessed that I'm primarily Filipino or part Spanish. I myself never knew there was any non-Filipino blood in me. [[PoliticalCorrectnessGoneMad But if anyone tries calling me Filipino-Spanish-Chinese-American, they've got another thing coming.]] * This troper is a bilingual Anglo-Canadian. Her accent in English is straight-up West Coast North American, but in French it's a little Paris, a little Montreal, a splash of New Brunswick and of course a generous helping of "French is not my first language". This accent is good enough to pass for true French among non-native speakers, but francophones are deeply confused by it. In addition to being mistaken for American while speaking English, she has been mistaken for

Quebecois (by French people) and Belgian (by some Quebecois) while speaking French, and for French while speaking Italian. On appearance alone, she's been thought Irish by some and, again, French by others. * This troper is Polish, yet while talking in English with a group of people (other Pole, two Georgians and Kazakh) was mistaken for being Spanish. Which is strange, 'cause pale skin and dark-blond hair aren't usually associated with Spain... * I'm Indian. In elementary school, someone told me, without a trace of sarcasm, that I looked like a Puerto Rican gangster. I can't possibly imagine how any elementary school-age kid could look like a gangster, but some people... * This troper is of mixed Indonesian/Czech ancestry. He has been mistaken for Filipino, Chinese and somehow, Indian. Additionally, my accent causes people to think I'm American or Canadian. * This Troper - of mixed North African jewish, Britton, Italian, and Maltese descent, emphasis on the North African jewish - gets mistaken for Italian, Spanish, ''English'', and been told by family members she looks like an Ashkenazi Israeli. Her brother gets mistaken for Italian, generic Arab, and Pakistani. Her North-African-jewish-Italian aunt almost ''never'' gets her nationality/ethnicity guessed right; she's mistaken for Lebanese, or generic/specific East Asian. At one point she was hired in a high-class retail job because the manager thought that as a Asian, she would be able to be talk to the numerous wealthy Asian costumers. * This troper and her brother are Chinese/Spanish. As a result we're mistaken as all sorts of things often enough, and honestly MistakenNationality is mostly fine anyway - what she at least still finds irritating is that it happens on assumption of [[FarEast Japanese]]/[[{{Spexico}} Mexican]] being the same thing still happens more often than it should. * I have a pretty mixed background. However, my last name is French.Upon meeting someone, even if they are looking ''right at me'', they will hear my name and assume I am Spanish, and start talking in Spanish. Embarrassment hits everyone in a mile radius. (My hair, by the way, is a mix of Blond and Auburn. Have you ever seen a natural, unmixed background, Hispanic girl that is ''Blond''.) In an..thing..I guess.. of this, many people have, on occasion (rarely) guessed my Irish part correctly. ''Because of the personality stereotypes.'' {{FacePalm}} * This Japanese-American troper was once mistaken for Korean...by a Japanese-American recruiter for the California National Guard. * I'm Chinese, get mistaken for other Asian nationalities, expected, learned to not get too worked up over it. But in an absurd example, one of my friends asked me what nationality I was, I said Chinese, and she said, "Oh, I thought you were Dominican." ??? * This troper was born in France from mostly French parents( he has a Spanish grandfather) and lived in Quebec for most of his life. Whenever he goes back to France,people immediately poke fun at his Quebecer accent. Back in Quebec, he his a damn frog. He also routinely gets mistaken for an Italian, and some people even thought he was ''Chinese''.Go figure. * This Norwegian Troper and her family were apparently mistaken for

Russian on vacation. Huh. * This American troper is very pale, tall, has blue eyes, and auburn hair. A lot of people think he's Irish, German, French, Canadian, English, Dutch, Russian, Ukrainian, or JAPANESE! Of course the fact that this troper is quiet; has a regionless accent that has been described as somewhere in-between Canadian, English, and American; and the fact that he is learning German, Russian, and French (This troper fooled a French person who he had no idea where in France they were from that he was from Paris) probably don't help. This troper has been mistaken for a German foreign exchange student the most though. * This troper is of Irish, Welsh, and Dutch extraction. I even have a very Irish (and hard to spell) surname. However, due to my looks (pale skin, dark eyes, dark hair, short, and curvy) and the fact that I do speak Spanish fluently, I am frequently mistaken for Cuban, a Spaniard, or Argentinian. I used to work as a Spanish translator/interpreter at various jobs, and people were always gobstruck when I explained that actually, I was white. * This troper is only part Portuguese (1/4 to be exact) but is mistaken for full plenty of times. I was also once thought to be Welsh. * [[Tropers.FishOfLightning I am]] a Costa Rican-American. As in, from Costa Rican parents, born in the US. And yet, I have been mistaken for Chinese, Filipino, Russian, Italian, German, and even Turkish. [[http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-aksnc4/hs1389.snc4/164160_145542435503400_100001429320369_269349_909384_ n.jpg You be the judge.]] * This troper has been mistaken for French, Austrian, Persian, Italian, Spanish, JAPANESE (Because of the sound of her last name), and Swiss. Partly justified because she's half Pakistani and half British. The mix is a little unusual. * Although I am French (and begrudgingly American), when I travel in the Czech Republic, and eat at restaurants with my family, people assume we are German because we speak English, despite the fact that we live in the same town for at least 16 years, on and off. We always have to send back the German menus and ask for Czech ones. * This [[CanadaEh Canadian]] Troper of Ugandan-Sesotho descent is oftmistaken for Jamaican. Needless to say, it gets annoying. * My troper tale is kind of weird because it's my name that confuses people, not my appearance. I'm American, blonde-haired, and blue-eyed. People can usually tell I have European ancestors. But my surname is stereotypically Mexican and I live in an area with a lot of Mexican immigrants, so I'm often asked if I'm Mexican. And I say no, some of my ancestors on my father's side came from Spain. And they look at me like they didn't know it was also a Spanish surname. * I'm from the Untied States,but have somehow mange to get an accent that sounds British and apparently i look British or someone that's foreign, yet i grew up in California my whole life and never left until 2010 when i went on a field trip. Also everyone i ever met has always ask me where I'm from and don't believe me when i tell them I'm a native Californian. Doesn't help that i have an lisp that makes me can't say some r words right,that justs makes me sound more foreign, and i only really watch British shows and read mostly British books...

* This troper has magnificent, almost chest-length sideburns. Growing a full beard usually gets him mistaken for a Hutterite or Jew. * This Troper is very often mistakened for being Japanese, since when I take my glasses off I do look Japanese. The fact that my life is Anime and Manga dosent help. I'd so love to be Japanese though. I'm British, by the way. * This Troper (or "I" if you will), have light hair, green eyes, and is kinda pale. Even though I live in Denmark I am often mistaken for Russian or even French... And Danish. I'm Turkish/Kurdish by the way. I just got all the "blonde" genes from the family. * despite being whiter than paper, this troper is often mistaken for being half black or mixed in some way. this is probably because she's got huge, fluffy, thick afro. she's pure European- Italian, Scottish, Swedish, Irish, German, more Scottish, french.. no one in her entire family history as far back as it's traced is Black. And her mother is a family history freak, so it's pretty accurate. * One of this troper's best friends: 6'1", blond hair, blue eyes, described by one person as "A Nordic god". He's half-Hispanic. * This Troper is particularly good at Spanish. One day during class, I corrected someone on a word and they implied that I was good at Spanish because I was Latina. I'm white with no Spanish relatives of any kind. * I am tall, VERY TALL, light skin, light brown hair, and brown eyes. Once I went to a shop in a little town in my own state, and the woman there asked me if I was American. I told her that no, I was not American... I am MEXICAN! * I am sometimes asked if I am English, due to my formal way of speaking in public and love of top hats and things. Irish people do not like being mistaken for British. * This troper is in FLORIDA. Where EVERY Hispanic race come to gather. To the point where nobody bothers to tell the difference anymore. This DOMINICAN troper has been confused for many things over the years. Mostly Puerto Rican because I have very very curly dark hair and a Puerto Rican surname. Second most common is Cuban because I'm sorta pale. Confused for CHINESE once because I was in the water at the moment and squinting to see. Confused for white BY OTHER HISPANICS (They said 'Look, you made the white girl cry!' while I was [[FacePalm facepalming]])! The kids in my Drama class were shocked to hear me speak fluent Spanish and asked which nationality I was. I say "Guess" and they come up with the following list: Puerto Rican, Cuban, Mexican, white, Colombian, Venezuelan, Panamanian, Chilean, Spanish, Guatemalan (at which I laugh out loud and clap my hands to because that's the first time someone was ever THAT off), Italian, and French. It would've been amusing to hear them shout random nationalities if it weren't for the fact that there was a Costa Rican, a Puerto Rican, and two Haitians in that class of 8 people... It's become a [[BerserkButton Berserk Button]] if someone mistakes me for Puerto Rican, Cuban, or Mexican. * This [[{{Cornwall}} CORNISH]] [[Tropers/SanaMae troper]] is aparantly american. I'm not. I'm CORNISH, I live in the capital city of CORNWALL, and I have lived in CORNWALL all my life (save for a few summers in Germany, which is not america either).

* This American tropette has been mistaken for British, Australian, and South African so many times it's beginning to bore her. * Having grown up with three languages, I have a distinct, if nondescript accent that flavours all the languages I speak. Naturally, I get this a lot. It is the varieties of nationalies people assume me to be that makes it funny. I have been asked if I was German (close one. I am Swiss), Dutch, Nordic, Slavic and, [[MindScrew Irish]]. * I've been mistaken for German oddly enough. It has nothing to do with my accent, but something about being tall, pale, blonde, and built for childbearing has lead more than a few people to believe I'm German. * Whenever someone hears this tropers full name, they instantly assume him to be German due his last name being "Schiffer", easily overlooking his ''clearly obvious'' Japanese first name, "Daisuke" and middle name, "Kazuhiro". Does "'''DAISUKE KAZUHIRO SCHIFFER'''" sound like a german name to you?! * This troper has been mistaken for... Eurasian (Portugese mix), Indonesian chinese, Phillipino and Japanese. However this troper is in fact a Singaporean Chinese of pure chinese ancestry. Even in college now (2011), I still get mistaken for being foreign by fellow Singaporean Chinese. ----Retournez au MistakenNationality. ----

MisterMuffykins * This troper's pomeranian probably counts. He's really a very sweet dog, but he doesn't always act like it. He loves people and gets excited when someone new comes over, but the problem is that he barks nonstop because he wants to get them to pay attention to him. Of course, they see a crazed pomeranian barking so much that his feet actually leave the ground with every yelp, and they want nothing to do with him. He also barks like crazy when one of us puts on shoes, a jacket, etc. (because he knows we're about to leave the house without him), which lead to a hilarious moment last week when he barked himself out and instead went, "PEEP!" ** For the record, this troper tries to train him the way she's seen it done on It's Me Or the Dog, but it's hard to train a dog when everyone else in the house just keeps spoiling him rotten. * My ailing grandmother's weekend caregiver has a tiny toy poodle named Muffin, and occasionally the caregiver brings the dog to work. Sure, little Muffin gets along with my grandmother, but it barks LOUDLY at every little thing that walks through the front door; and occasionally it will either suddenly bark at people who have been standing in the room for several minutes, or it will randomly attack my grandmother's dog. And, natch, it's one of those pampered little dogs complete with the painted toenails, and it's ''[[RidiculouslyCuteCritter as cute]] [[KillerRabbit as a bell]]''. * Very much [[AvertedTrope averted]] with my sister's dog. It's a dachshund-terrier mix, and despite having taken care of it for as much as a week at a time, I have yet to hear it bark '''at all.''' Makes me

wonder if the dog isn't mute, actually. * Ugh. My stepmother's dogs are exactly like this, right down to the ridiculous pampering. * This troper's neighbor owns one of these, a miniature dachshund named Polly. Played straight in that she's [[RidiculouslyCuteCritter incredibly cute]], averted in that she's not spoiled at all, just a bit of a CloudCuckooLander who loves absolutely everyone. * This troper has a papillon who likes to scream at "intruders". Not bark, scream. ''Arf, arf, arf'' turns into ''BAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!'' when he gets upset. Unfortunately, his definition of "intruder" includes any person or dog that happens to visit or walk through the yard (or outside the fence in his view), as well as any objects which have been recently moved, such as a sleeping bag left in the floor or a hat on the bed (he has no objections when the hat is on this troper's head, though). If a visitor should try to lean down to pet him, he'll run away to a safe distance before resuming barking (if taken on a trip, he ceases the barking and tends to just cower in this troper's arms and hope no one wants to pet him. [[CutenessProximity Good luck with that one]]). He's small, CuteButCacophonic, and [[GratuitousJapanese knows his commands in Japanese]]. His name is Hiro. * One of this troper's friends has several Pomeranian/Chihuahua mixes, who despite being the definition of yappy are generally very sweet. It's also quite the sight to see the pack of them on the prowl. ** There was also one time I was with a high school friend when all of the sudden a pack of Yorkies being walked came out of nowhere and swarmed him, and considering said friend is about six feet tall it was quite hilarious. * My mother has a Papillon/Poodle mix who is quite yappy, but is otherwise an absolute sweetheart. He is always happy and loves everyone and everyone loves him, including people who hate dogs and other dogs who are usually hostile. * This troper knew someone who had a sweet (but no less yappy) pekapoo. Anyone who has ever owned or personally seen a pekapoo knows first hand that CutenessProximity is always in full force. Sadly, he had to be put down after some roughhousing with an exponentially larger dog literally broke its back. Surgery could have been preformed to mend the broken spine, but it would have cost three thousand dollars and so was beyond the owner's reach. * Subversion: This troper's family owns two Chihuahuas and a Lhaspo Apso, we do not pamper them (Except for the time the Chihuahuas wore coats during the winter.), all three dogs love to wrestle, the Lhaspo Aspo barks whenever a stranger comes to the door and one of the Chihuahuas barks alot. * Subversion: My (Rainbow's) Pomeranian Luna is extremely sweet and well-behaved most of the time. She does get barky sometimes, but my Elkhound is the noisier one of my two dogs. Usually, though, she's fairly calm though she has a very playful side and she's not at all prissy. She used to wear clothes, but it was because it was winter and she was balding. Some of her being well-behaved is because I make sure to not spoil her and I don't let her beg from me so she will even let me eat over her if she's sitting on my lap while I'm eating! She's

been known to impress people who expect Poms to be this trope and then they see how sweet and gentle she is. Most notably she's convinced my mother that Pomeranians can have diverse personalities and aren't all representatives of the MisterMuffykins trope. * My grandmother had one of these: a Chihuahua/Beagle mutt named Annie. She had a VERY shrill little bark and unfortunately for our eardrums, her favorite thing in the world was barking furiously at other dogs, cats, humans, her reflection, squirrels, trees, birds, passing cars, stuffed animals and the vacuum cleaner. Needless to say, she was very pampered and rarely ate dog food, because my grandma insisted on cooking for her. * This troper knows two exceptions in Chihuahuas who are the friendliest, happiest dogs one could ever meet - though quite hyper, seen running circles around, and clearly getting on the nerves of, an elderly Bassett. ---Who's a good little trope? Is [[Main/MisterMuffykins Mister Muffykins]] going to be Mommy's good little trope? Yes you are OH YES YOU ARE. * ''Yip yip yip!!!''

<<|TroperTales|>>

MixedMarriage * Twofer: ThisTroper's (Irish/German-American) uncle met a South Korean woman in the Korean War and married her, taking her back to America. Later, after they had five kids, their oldest son started dating a black woman ([[InvertedTrope inverting]] [[MeLoveYouLongTime two]] [[WhereTheWhiteWomenAt tropes]] at once). The oldest son's grandmother was ''pissed''(Apparently, the pecking order for marriage goes Koreans->Other asians->whites->dogs->boxes of crayons->blacks.). Today, both couples are happily married.

MixedMetaphor * [[SlvstrChung This troper]] has found himself saying "[That person] isn't the brightest bulb in the fridge" more than once, and can't seem to stop. So why not embrace it? In his review of the ''Film/PrinceOfPersia'' film, he wrote that casting a MightyWhitey as the protagonist helped him ''visually'' "stick out like white on rice." ...Someone [[CompletelyMissingThePoint didn't get the joke]]. * This troper says that somebody 'isn't the brightest bulb in the knife drawer.' People rarely notice that it's different. ** This troper says that somebody 'isn't the sharpest bulb on the knife tree.' However, this tends to get some odd looks, even if it gets the point across. * This troper habitually uses the phrase "We'll burn that bridge when we come to it," often resulting in confused looks. ** [[{{Unhari}} This troper]] uses "Jump off that brige when we come

to it." *** [[{{Tropers/Zandercan}} My]] go-to phrase along those lines is "We'll burn that bridge when we cross it." It never really occured to me [[FridgeLogic until now]] that there may, in fact, be a couple problems with burning a bridge when you cross it. * Whereas this troper habitually states that something "isn't rocket surgery." It's probably telling that this troper usually doesn't notice the discrepancy until a few moments after he's said it. ** [[{{Unhari}} I]] once managed to say "This isn't rocket surgery, it's brain science!" * [[BadgerSprite This troper]] has a recurring sketch comedy character who speaks in nothing but these and malapropisms, on account of being a motivational speaker with stage fright who constantly drops their cards and forgets what they're trying to say. Here are a few of my personal favourite quotes: ** A bird in the hand is worth two I's in team. ** Never look a gift horse in the bush. ** Don't put all your hells in one handbasket. ** You can lead a horse to water, but you can't change its spots. ** Um, an eye for an eye makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise. * This troper prefers the variant, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't take it with you."

MockingMusic * I was bored one Friday afternoon. Internet was down, and it was 85 degrees so I didn't want to go out. To alleviate that boredom, I picked up my iPod, which was already on, and put on the headset. "[[TheRamones ...I wanna be sedated. Nothing to do, nowhere to go-oh, I wanna be sedated...]]" * This troper came home one Saturday night after running into one of [[TheLibby many Libbies]] she used to know in middle school at a party. Said Libby brings up a humiliating experience the troper had in seventh grade involving {{Dance Dance Revolution}}. Later that night, around 2 a.m., the troper woke up from a nightmare revolving around that party. She had two songs stuck in her head after the nightmare Eleanor, Put Your Boots On by {{Franz Ferdinand}} and the Dance Dance Revolution song Nijiiro.

ModelUnitedNations * This troper has been doing MUN for 4 years now. The most spectacular thing she's witnessed is her school's Turkish delegation. In Hong Kong Interschool MUN, countries can wear national costume instead of suits, so they wore fezzes to the conference. Unfortunately, fezzes are illegal for officials to wear in Turkey... --> '''President:''' Delegates of Turkey, please remove your headgear, as it is illegal in your own country. --> '''Turkey:''' But madam President, this is not a fez. It is not made of the proper kilim fabric, but instead it is made of cheap red felt! --> '''President:''' Nevertheless, remove the headgear or I will be

forced to expel you from the GA. --> ''The entire delegation walks out to applause.'' ** And here's part two. They sneak back in halfway through, as they're on the speaker's list. They are still wearing the fez, but the tassel has been cut off and a paper star and crescent has been taped on the front. --> '''President:''' Turkey. Wait, I thought I expelled you from the assembly? --> '''Turkey, at the podium:''' No, we walked out. We can walk back in. --> '''Secretary General:''' They're right. They walked out so they have the right to walk back in. --> '''President:''' Alright, but you must still remove the fez. --> '''Turkey:''' [[ThisIsSparta This! Is! Not! A! Fez!]] This is a patriotic National Turkish Winter Olympics hat! As such, it cannot be called a fez. I call upon the expert testimony of this gentleman in the audience, who has lived in Turkey for a while. Sir, is this a fez? --> '''Guy:''' No, this is not a fez. --> '''Turkey:''' Thank you. *gets ready to read out their prepared speech...* --> '''President:''' Uhm, delegate, your two minutes are up. ** They later got expelled (voting rights removed) for a speech that compared [[GodwinsLaw Ahmedinejad to Hitler and Iran to the Third Reich.]] * This troper just returned from the Harvard Model United Nations, and the guy on my committee played North Korea to the hilt. He was constantly reminding us that the nuclear option was always appropriate for dealing with the imperialist developed world. He would begin every speech applauding "Our Leader", and he went a little crazy sometimes. The resolution he wrote, and that I signed off on, on a lark, involved addressing small arms and light weapons with a "Teddy Bears for Guns" program, where only those with guns AND teddy bears ''wouldn't'' be shot on site (think about that one), and that the Central African Republic be encouraged to invade the imperialist pawn Chad, for the purpose of clear-cutting the entire state and building a water park to employ all of the out of work militants. It was amazing. * As Saudi Arabia at the Hague MUN conference, a member of my delegation got up and started berating the entire resolution about increasing rights of women in the workplace by claiming that his five wives were happy serving his every whim. Never got picked again but it was a pure moment of hilarious jackassery. ** If the chair had been any good, he/she would have immediately called the delegate out on breaking religious law: a Muslim man is not permitted to have more than ''four'' wives. * At my high school Model United Nations, my delegation was representing China and I ended up on the Human Rights Council. Everyone except the Saudi Arabia rep who was also from my school were horrified/shocked about how much of an asshole I was. I actually took home a joke award for 'being the biggest donkey's rear end' and for the 'best use of an elephant under a blanket' analogy. Needless to say, it was the best time I've had a Model UN. No one else seemed to appreciate my position or throwing my weight around even though the

only other big countries we had were Russia and France. It was awesome getting to be a huge JerkAss. ** Hey, [[{{Tropers/Qmwne235}} I]]'ve also won a few annoying delegate awards, and I must say it's great fun! Much more fun than just being polite and respectful. Somehow, the more annoying I am, the more likely I am to win Best Delegate, especially since I have a tendency to get countries like Pakistan and DPRK. * [[{{Tropers/Qmwne235}} This Troper]] was chairing a crisis committee, the Italian WWII War Cabinet, at the Michigan State MUN conference. Near the end, one of the delegates was being accused of being a Mafia spy, but the crisis staff knew he was actually innocent. For some reason, he decided he was guilty, so he slipped the dais a note saying he fled the country and then ran out of the room before we could apprehend him. We thought he might have just gone up to the crisis planning room, but it turns out he left the building and stayed in hiding at the Starbucks across the street. It turned out another delegate was the Mafia spy all along; she barely talked in committee, but was sending notes to crisis sabotaging a lot of what the committee was doing. The kid who ran out to the Starbucks eventually got best delegate. ** A few years ago, MSUMUN had a crisis committee about the 1968 Democratic Convention. A delegate playing Hubert Humphrey had to give a speech as staff members playing place officers beat down other staffers playing hippies. Unfortunately, I wasn't there back then. *** That would be 2009, which was the same year that China went terrifically OffTheRails, forcing the committee to discuss the Spratly Islands RedHerring crisis in the Security Council despite [[TroperTales/{{Railroading}} the crisis staff's best attempts to keep them from doing so]], and Russia invaded Ukraine despite an assassination attempt on Medvedev as NATO helplessly stood by. And in the aforementioned 1968 DNC, [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Wallace George Wallace]] won best delegate for his complete mastery of being George Wallace, shady politics, abject racism, and all. 2010 saw the [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_Cross_System Double Cross Committee]], in which IanFleming ordered that [[MoralEventHorizon a warehouse full of children be burned to the ground and that diseased corpses be dropped over Germany]], at the same time that the US National Security Council was dealing with a crisis more or less lifted from ''[[TwentyFour 24]]'' and the Security Council was fighting a civil war in 2017 SaudiArabia that was finally resolved by the [[CheeseEatingSurrenderMonkeys French]]. Somewhere along the line, MSUMUN got really ''weird'' (but still awesome...maybe CrazyAwesome?) *** It should be noted that the summer of 2009 saw several MSUMUN staffers practice their art (for fun) with a Batman crisis (based heavily on ''TheKillingJoke'')...perhaps that explains things. * This troper (a Mexican national) a few years ago roleplayed the USA delegation in a committee full of Americans playing other countries. It gets better. The issue at hand was the US-Cuban Embargo and the Cuban delegate was American and the head student from a school with a reputation of being a [[BadAssArmy Bad Ass Army]] in MUN circles. [[HilarityEnsues Hilarity Ensues]].

* Sometimes when commmittees get boring the staff will introduce a crisis in debates where it makes no sense. In one glorious moment of insanity, delegates in several different committees were informed that a [[GiantWallofWateryDoom Giant Wall of Watery Doom]] was headed towards the Pacific Coast. After some discussion delegates in one committee came up with the perfectly appropriate solution: use an army of [[AnIcePerson Ice]] Pokmon to freeze it. In another committe, a delegate revealed that his country had [[MassTeleportation Mass Teleportation]] technology and could warp out the entire continent to avoid the wave. * Ah, yes. MUN. This [[{{@/DragonKhorse}} dele- troper]] has been in MUNs since the start of this year, and participated in MUNs as an observer last year. His crowning moment was as the delegate of DPRK. The Crisis was on a nuclear disaster off the coast of Greece, and his council was debating on the right for nations to get nuclear energy. He got commended by the chair for being a {{Chessmaster}}}. Firstly, he repeatedly called for unmoderated caucuses, and went up to ramble on the awesomeness of nuclear energy, so that his ally, Egypt, could finish his resolution. Then, this troper went around spreading misinformation in other delegates, convincing the more influential parties (such as Israel, China, and Iraq) that USA shouldn't pass his resolution. When Egypt tried to introduce his resolution, USA objected, pointing out that he submitted his resolution first. Egypt and I objected, since we believed that was not a sufficient reason, and we motioned for a vote. We succeeded in blocking USA, and moved on to ours. USA tried to forcefully merge his resolution into Egypt's resolution through an unfriendly amendment. This troper took his resolution, divided it up among Brazil, Canada, China, Egypt, Ethiopia and him, and we proceeded to rip all of USA's points to shreds, using the points this troper used during the unmoderated caucuses. When it came down to voting, Egypt's resolution passed, with 30 for, 1 against, and 9 abstentions. It was a glorious moment, especially after we found out that USA went to complain to the Secretary General because we ganged up against him. ** Laconic version: This troper was DPRK. This troper formed a 6delegate team, convinced Iraq (and by extension, his voting bloc) to help backstab USA in the Crisis. Said backstabbing, and turning the tables involved a large amount of LawfulEvil maneuvering, loud and passionate speeches and careful preparation that the chairs overlooked, because everybody loves a story where the underdogs win. * I hate to break it to you, but that last story is pretty tame for MUN Chessmaster standards. I call and raise. Take this example in a committee with over a hundred delegates where one pair represented none other than Swaziland. Google it. ** Day 1. Before the debate even started said pair of delegates went around forged an early alliance with everyone who looked like any potential competition. Essentially, they formed a monopoly of heavy hitters before any other alliances had been formed. Then without obstacle their resolution was drafted, sold around and passed. ** Day 2. Most of rest the committee felt a little bit cheated for being won over so easily and several new blocks were formed which didn't want to work with the strong group. Now no block had enough

votes to pass anything worthy. Solution? Half of the Swaziland team went around to talk with the other groups and play around with the idea of switching sides. The other half played interference calmly distracting other groups in their attempts to finish their own drafts and winning votes. By the end of the day, between messing with the work of others and collecting enough support they passed their resolution. No other delegation noticed what they were doing. Apparently not even the Chair. And if someone did they didn't say anything.

ModestyBedsheet * Happened with my wife. We laughed about it because we both realized the hilarity of it. * This troper's roommate and girlfriend were once drunk enough to start having sex while I was still in the room, but apparently sober enough to acknowledge that I was still there. She was on top, and wrapped a comforter around herself. When I heard thumping and saw what looked like a giant caterpillar in the corner of my eye, I promptly left the room. * This Troper often wakes up cold, so bedspreads are used for a purpose other than modesty, though during camping trips she will pull her clothes inside the sleeping bag to change... ** Huh. I thought I was the only person who did that. It makes so much sense and everything... ** I always wondered if girls do anything at camps that they wouldn't tell us they did, now i know: they apparently sleep naked. * This Troper used a modesty bedsheet (or more usually, a modesty tshirt and knickers) in an ex-boyfriend's apartment if she had to use the bathroom or have a drink in the night, because she didn't like the idea of his roommate seeing her. * This troper ended up making liberal use of on during a party. She and another guy had gone off to fool around, and of course he forgot to lock the door... * This troper's wife regularly wraps up (and/or insists I turn away) when she actually leaves the bed, even though she was on full display a minute prior. I suspect it's insecurity (she's a BigBeautifulWoman minus the confidence), which is only overwhelmed in the heat of the moment. * This troper and a partner came to the conclusion that the L-shaped boob-covering/chest-exposing sheet configuration is possible, but deeply unlikely to occur naturally - the sheets have to be deliberately arranged that way, and they have to be fairly large sheets. ---Nobody's looking, but cover yourself with this ModestyBedsheet. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

ModestyTowel

* Having a bedroom near the bathroom at home and at school proves useful, but this troper never leaves without a towel on. * {{Smerf}}: There were once some people over at my place before we were heading off to a party, and I decided I needed a shower. Got out of the shower and went to go back to my room while wearing the towel, having thrown a quick look around the upstairs to make sure no one was there. Cue the towel coming undone just as I'm opening my door. Turns out one of the guests was in my roommate's room. She kept her head averted most of the night. * [[SkarmoryThePG This troper]] owns no bathrobes, and there's no better way of ensuring that my wet posterior won't stick to the chair if one doesn't feel like dressing up already than a towel skirt. Never did it around people though. * This troper usually showers at night or when the house is otherwise unoccupied, so she doesn't technically need one, but she wears a ModestyTowel anyways because walking around naked is usually uncomfortably cold (and sitting on things that way is a one-way ticket to {{Squick}}town). However, she prefers the male 'towelskirt' variety if no one's going to see it anyways, because the towel never stays put over her boobs. And, also, putting towels on my head just increases the likelihood of my hair looking like a family of dead rats, even if it ''would'' keep me from making a wet spot on the couch. * This troper wears one even if no one's around to see it, because it's warmer and she's very picky about her privacy like that. ** I get the warmth part, but being picky about your privacy dosnt exactly have a point when theres no one there to violate it ** Male troper here, does the same thing (the male variation). To the point of carrying my pajamas in front of my chest just to cover it. Might sound stupid, but when you're the only male in the family, well, modesty ''is'' a powerul concern. *** Um, covering the chest is taking this a little too much, don't you think? **** Well, the entire "modesty" thing is subjective anyways. What intrinsic value has it? Personally, the only time I'd wear a lesser shirt than t- is if I'm working out, and that's only because I have ''terrible'' heat tolerance. * [[RayAyanami This troper]], after finishing a shower and wiping himself dry with his towel, always wraps it around his waist, even though he keeps the bathroom door locked when he showers and rarely does he have to step out undressed, since he always puts the clothes he's going to wear for the day in the bathroom to minimize walking around the house in nothing but a towel; he finds it embarassing to be out in public or even in the rest of his house [[ShirtlessScene without a shirt on]]. ** Found the Catholic. ** Oh my god, are you me? ** Oh, Hello (probably older) me. * [[ArchaiX Said editor]] knows better than to [[TemptingFate ignore the possibility]] that someone will wake up to go to the bathroom while he's going back to his room. * Male here, I never used anything like that but one time my then-gf's mother visited while I was only wearing jeans and carrying a towel. I

have a chest deformity and reasoned she didn't need or probably want to know that so I held the towel to my chest for several minutes. * This troper uses this out of convinience, since he takes hot showers and every surface in the bathroom is covered with condensation after them, meaning the best place for the towel before dressing is wrapped around his waist. * [[DokEnkephalin This troper]] subverted it on his gf hardcore. I heard the winding of her newly acquired camera over the sound of brushing my teeth, so I suspected a set-up. As soon as I stepped out of the bathroom, I whipped off my towel and gave the camera an openmouthed manic grin, drooling toothpaste down the corners of my mouth. Surprised the hell out of her, but didn't stop her from snapping the pic. ** Winding? Digital cameras don't tend to wind... Whomever processed that- roll of film must have had one hell of a day... *** It was a disposable camera. I never saw the pic, so I really don't know if she got it developed. ** If it had been this troper, he would have also written "PENIS!" on his chest in toothpaste. * This troper is an aversion, as she will gladly cavort around her apartment naked. ** Pics or it didn't happen. *** pics? how hard is it to belive that someone hangs out naked when they are alone *** You're [[AllMenArePerverts missing]] [[{{Fanservice}} the]] [[DontExplainTheJoke point]]. *** Well excuse me, but when you dont leave any potholes that lead to some hint at what you were doing, it looks like you're truly serious * At a friend of mine's birthday party, his older-by-a-year sister announced that she was taking a shower and not to go to the bathroom. Not in the "stay the hell away kind", if you know what I mean. Anyway, another friend went to get something from a room in the same hallway as the sister and she's wearing a towel (apparently) promoting cleavage. Another friend didn't believe him and went to go get it. Both came back yelling, despite the fact the sister isn't so bad looking. Inversion, punk. * This troper recently discovered she is the only person in her circle of friends who is comfortable brushing her teeth while butt-naked. Everyone else involved in the conversation agreed that you must wear a robe or a towel at least while doing so, even when this makes flossing difficult. ** This troper agrees. Her towel always falls off, so she just brushes her teeth (puts her contacts in, does her hair, etc.) naked and just keeps the bathroom door locked. * This troper has no qualms about being completely naked, but usually wears a dressing gown for the sake of his family, who would object otherwise. If you ever meet him, only challenge him to strip poker if you actually mean going [[TheFullMonty The Full Monty]] * Anyone with parents has probably wished they would adhere to this trope when visitors are around. So, quite possibly, have the guests. This troper has both liplocked his then-gf to save her the view of his obese father and stuck to a lie that he was blowing his nose and

didn't see his then-gf's mother. * [[DesertDragon This editor]] normally just walks around naked after a shower. When he was with his live-in boyfriend, there was nothing the then-bf didn't already see, so this editor so no reason for a towel or bathrobe after drying off. But then there was that time the boyfriend stepped out for awhile and came back with his brother and sister-in-law, after this editor took a shower and was sitting at the computer desk laid back for the whole world to see... Let's just say this editor dropped that habit ''quickly''. * This Troper completely averts this; he is only naked while actually taking the shower, and has no need of a Modesty Towel since he carries his clothes for the day into the bathroom with him. ** This troper as well. She really hates walking the five feet from the bathroom to her bedroom in just a towel. It's awkward, thanks very much. ** Ditto with [[@/DeathToSquishies this troper]]. Though half the time, he takes a bathrobe rather than PJ's or other clothes, so it's sort of a semi-double subversion. * This Troper had a cousin over from Germany and forgot she came over. As I opened my room door I saw them walking out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel. I felt like throwing up because to me their not that attractive. * This Troper prefers clothes. That's all, a loose pair of jeans and a t-shirt are every bit as easy to cover yourself in as getting a towel to stay up. * This is pretty much regular for just about everyone in college dorms. * Averted for [[TheTallOne This Troper's]] older brother. Or at least, it used to be. About the 12th time he wandered into a room full of people whilst he was butt-naked, he started using a ModestyTowel. AndThereWasMuchRejoicing. * This Troper uses one even when she's not leaving the shower stall before dressing. She simply isn't comfortable without her breasts and privates covered, and doesn't understand how people can enjoy sleeping naked. ** On a side-note, the fact that her uncle Bob (yes, that's his real name) ''doesn't'' use a ModestyTowel [[BrainBleach scarred her for life]] when she woke up around midnight (sleepover with the cousins, age... 8 or so?) and went to go to the bathroom, only to see his naked ass as he walked back to his room from the shower. From that day on, ''any'' talk or picture of a male ass makes her think of her uncle, [[{{Squick}} squicking]] her so badly that she can't even watch cartoons with NakedPeopleAreFunny jokes. ** answering what you said about how people can enjoy sleeping naked, i live in Phoenix Arizona, it gets hot enough that you consider it from time to time * I'm a guy and one of my previous roommate used Modesty Towel rather immodestly. She'd get out of the shower wearing *only* a towel, and then walk around the apartment, make breakfast, eat it (at a leisurely pace), and then finally get dressed (if she didn't want to read the paper or something). What? ** She was waiting for you to make your move, dude. That was a big ol'

come-and-get-me hint. Either that or you've got really good luck in roommates. * This troper tends to do this even if nobody is in the house. Unless the reason she was leaving the bathroom was to get a towel. ** We're both think on the same wavelength... you and [[TedAsanto me]]. * [[Tropers/{{Nemica}} This troper]] never managed to do this without the towel falling to the ground after a few steps. She prefers bathrobes, which almost became her favorite indoors clothing. * This tends to happen a lot in dorms. Even at camps in dorms. This is sort of a subversion, but when I/this female troper was 12, I happened to be on the guy's floor when a guy I had a crush on walked out of his room wearing one of these. I freaked out, he laughed his head off, and told me he was wearing shorts underneath. I was mildly comforted by this. * Nastily averted during a month-long school program in a backwater village [[{{Tropers/Betterthanstrawberry}} this troper]] attended at the 7th grade. At several points, male seniors walked out of toilets wearing nothing, or dropped the ModestyTowel in the sight of other students. ** Ugh! For one, that probably happens in a lot more schools than one may think. And two? Thank you for bringing back repressed memories. Horrible, horrible memories. * This troper averts this trope. He brings his change of clothes into the bathroom, and walks in his underwear to the bathroom, or if home alone, Goes in the buff. * Hilariously subverted by this troper's friend and her boyfriend when they were in middle school and not yet dating. They were on vacation and the boyfriend thought he was the only one in the hotel suite so he walked out of the bathroom naked... RIGHT as [[CrowningMomentOfFunny the girl walked in]] to ask if he took her comic book. You could hear the screams of panic two floors down. * In comparison to all these people who claim they feel like they need to use one even if they are home alone,In my case a modesty towel is exclusivly used in the need of....well [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin Modesty]]. i mean if im home by myself and im about to get in the shower and suddenly the phone rings(which is on the complete opposite side of the house) why would i need to put a towel on, theres no one there so id just go answer it naked * [[{{Tropers/Squidage}} This troper]] doesn't much care for towels or clothes, unless people are over other than her family. I'd rather be naked. [[NakedPeopleAreFunny Comfortable, aren't I?]] ** Im(male) pretty much like this to, cept there are certain friends who i could be naked around and still feel comfortable, [[PleasePutSomeClothesOn Though i doubt they would be as comfy around me]](FYI: i have little to no male friends) * This troper had a sorta-friend whose sister often returned to her room wearing nothing but a towel and got dressed with her curtains wide open. This sounds like it would be wonderful, except she wasn't exactly attractive. Or clean, IfYouKnowWhatIMean. * This troper keeps his (defective) bathroom door locked, but has only used the ModestyTowel a handful of times- this troper takes his

clothes into the bathroom with him (far more efficient) and thus has no need to go into my adjoining room for any reason at all. That, and I've also read Hogwarts Exposed, and thus nudity, even private, is [[{{Squick}} nauseating]] to me. ---Put this ModestyTowel on before going back to the main page. <<|TroperTales|>>

Moe NOTE: You can be a self aware {{Moe}}, but just know that knowing that you are noticeably undermines your {{Moe}} points. ---* I know two people who fit the trope - a 5'2' busty (dark) brunette with a cute face, large blue eyes and some freckles. She's a deadpan snarker/broken bird who has to wear glasses too read- but unfortunately straight . The other is a boy with shoulder length blonde hair, big expressive baby blues and face and is one the chubby side- his puppy dog face makes the rest of us (even his rival Samanther) go 'AAAWWWW'. * I had once asked a friend to draw something that would combine many things I find moe. [[RapunzelHair Long hair]] = yes, [[PerverseSexualLust Koizumi and Kunikida]] = yes, YaoiFangirl = yes. So [[TouhouProject Fujiwara]] drawing [[TheMelancholyOfHaruhiSuzumiya Koizumi and Kunikida]] kissing = ''very yes.'' The drawing, which I have named ''Fujoshiwara'', can be found [[http://i34.tinypic.com/2iv1hzs.jpg here]]. Better yet, another of my friends is going to draw an inverse ''Fujoshiwara'', which will be Kunikida drawing Kaguya and Fujiwara kissing, and there will be [[BeyondTheImpossible a tiny cat resting upon the head of a less tiny dog resting upon the head of Kunikida]]. * This Unnamed Troper has a girlfriend who is practically the very definition of Moe! Lesee... is INCREDIBLY shy (Avoidance Personality Disorder), absolutely adores Pokemon and Hamtaro, is scared of bugs, naturally ''hates'' being called adorable, and... well... [[http://kunihamuchi.deviantart.com/art/AND-THEN-WE-CAME-TO-BE139841324 this is the sorta stuff she draws!]] ...also, she's gotten into the habit of calling me Snooky Bear, against my wishes... ** She draws 404 errors? I don't see how that in particular is cute. *** I think he means the little gray guy. **** Nope, there was a very cute pic there. Then dA went and deleted it, or something. * This troper was a male example. At 12 to 15, he was very Moe, was a Woobie, and looked like a CuteShotaroBoy. * This troper has a friend that could be seen as a moe-blob. Baby faced, [[{{FunSize}} short]], [[{{Tsundere}} a type B tsundere]], [[{{Meganekko}} wears glasses]] and [[{{Woobie}} cries often]]. As it turns out, moe is not as cute in real life as it is in anime. * Everybody hates taking care of their drunk friend at a party, but I'm going to admit right now that I never mind, because the whole

thing is so damn moe. * This troper apparently is ''moe'', being a shy PaleSkinnedBrunette with low self esteem and a kind of {{woobie}}-ish patheticness to her. She is also HollywoodPudgy (at least in the confines of her own mind, if no longer in body, after developing an eating disorder) and apparently has her [[{{Asexuality}} disinterest in sex]] misread as [[AdultChild childlike.]] This, coupled with being sixteen, seems to make her come across as some kind of female equivalent of the CuteShotaroBoy, sans the sexual aspects most {{loli}} tropes have. It is... odd and not entirely pleasant. * This troper has gradually come to the conclusion that she is a living moe character. I'm an attractive young female with an unusual, idiosyncratic appearance -- of particular note being the fact that I wear glasses -- [[SophisticatedAsHell and]] [[EmotionlessGirl a]] [[HeavySleeper list]] [[SweetTooth of]] [[NightmareFetishist quirks]] [[WillNotTellALie a]] [[OralFixationFixation mile]] [[DoesNotLikeShoes long]], rather severe shyness outside of the internet and interacting with people I've known for years, and enough psychological issues to likely qualify as TheWoobie. (Possibly a JerkassWoobie, considering the way I brutally cut down people I don't like.) Finally, I have a tendency to blunder into {{Double Entendre}}s and have more than once attempted to make up nicknames for things only to be mortified when I discover that my neologism is already sexual slang. ** Hmm...Did this troper write this...no, no, wait a second. He couldn't have...he is still a he...That's it! The above troper must be this troper but from an alternate universe where everyone is gender bent. Hello there, alternate me. * One of this troper's friends once played a female halfling [[{{Pathfinder}} aberrant-bloodline]] sorcerer who was extremely {{Moe}}, at least if, like this troper, you're a bit of a NightmareFetishist. She just had the most adorably oddball way of looking at the world and expressing herself. * Most of the people on the fora think [[{{Mapi}} this troper]] is {{moe}}, moreso after seeing pictures. * Somehow [[{{JinxedBlackcat}} ThisTroper]] has become memetically {{moe}} to those on the fora and Ventrilo. Much to her [[{{tomboy}} annoyance]]. * This Troper is a [[HugeSchoolgirl kinda tall]] {{Kuudere}} in real life. She hangs out on a fora where people are considerably older and judging by pictures, taller. I loosen up there, and on some subjects, turn into [[GenkiGirl Troper, Genki Extraordinaire]] Add in a fedora, glasses and always being bundled into a scarf, cue comments about 'awww lookit c:" [[FlatWhat D:]] B-but I don't...but. * [[{{Joerc 45}} This troper]], definitely. I'm chubby but cute, quirky, and [[TheMessiah sweet]], {at least, from what others have told me, [[HoYay including guys}]]. I [[NightmareFetishist have]] [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} several]] [[FrozenFlower different]] [[SesquipedalianLoquaciousness quirks]], [[ApologizesALot sorry! D=]]. Also, cute little [[VerbalTic verbal tics]] like 'you know' and yes, I am a [[NatureAdoresAVirgin virgin]]. Yet I seem to have quite a number of female [[EvenTheGuysWantHim {and male}]] admirers. D= Also, my sister is very {{Moe}}. She's a [[{{Dojikko}} klutzy,]] {{Pettanko}},

but [[BabyGotBack with plenty of back]], [[EvenTheGirlsWantHer {and is very popular among her female friends because of this}]], is a Type-A {{Tsundere}} with some of the most [[CuteBruiser painful punches ever]], with elements of {{Bottle Fairy}}, which only serves to [[AbuseIsOkayWhenItIsFemaleOnMale make her more dangerous to her boyfriend when she's drunk]]. But, despite all this, she does the most [[CryCute unbelievably soft crying]] and the cutest [[TheGlomp glomping]] ever. She's basically a mix of [[ZeroNoTsukaima Louise]] and [[{{Clannad}} Kyou Fujibayashi]]. ^_^ * [[{{Mouser}} This troper]] wonders if someone believing themself to be {{Moe}} can ever really ''be'' {{Moe}}, since part of the appeal seems to be the character not knowing they're that cute, or at least not doing it on purpose. ** This is part of the reason that I find it easy to act moe but hard to be moe. ** I'd draw a distinction between self-identifying as moe and just observing that you fit the profile/other people have that kind of reaction to you. Calling yourself cute isn't cute, it's just annoying. * I know somebody who is a god of moe, She's a {{Bifauxnen}}, {{Pettanko}}, {{Dojikko}} despite being a tournament winning gymnast, she's a bit of a CovertPervert as well and is a FriendToAllLivingThings. And she has no idea how endearing she is. * One of this troper's best friends is a 15-year-old Moe. "Moe" is even her real-life nickname! * This troper found the other day a [[http://safebooru.org/index.php?page=post&s=list&tags=hidamari_sketch +lucky_star+minami_%28artist%29 CrossOver doujin between HidamariSketch and LuckyStar]]. When [[CheerfulChild Yuno]] and [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} Tsukasa]] were first seen together, [[Memes/{{Anime}} his nutbladder]] ''[[SoMoeImGonnaDie hurt]]''. * I have a bit of a crush on a five-foot-tall CloudCuckoolander with CuteLittleFangs and [[{{Meganekko}} glasses]], who, embarrassingly for me, [[OlderThanTheyLook looks younger than she is]]. Also, somehow, due to having been born prematurely or something, [[IllGirl she has a problem with her lungs and needs some kind of regular injections for it]]... it's all a bit SoapOperaDisease, and it would make me want to cuddle and protect her except she's so relentlessly [[GenkiGirl genki]], so you really don't worry about it. * Despite kind of breaking the usual moe mold with her height (she's 6' 1/2"), this Troper definitely qualifies. Blindingly trusting, quiet, awkward, a Bifauxnen, tends to say things then frantically backtrack over them once she realizes they're double entendres, apologises a lot... That sort of skill set. Plus she has a short friend who looks like she should be moe but is actually a tsundere (extra heavy on the tsun.) Weird. * This troper thinks of a girl at his school as this. She's perky, brainy, shy, and utterly adorable. * This troper knows a budding moeblob. [[{{Meganekko}} Glasses]]? Check. Braces? Check. [[ShrinkingViolet Super quiet and shy]]? Check. [[WhenSheSmiles Pretty smile, braces notwithstanding]]? Check. Referred to as 'the [[{{Bishonen}} prettiest]] [[TallDarkAndBishoujo person]] I know' by members of [[EvenTheGuysWantHim both]]

[[EvenTheGirlsWantHer genders]]? Check. [[spoiler:He's a boy.]] * This troper once tried to play a moe character in a RogueTrader game, but considering the nature of the 40k universe, wound up with a cute, cheerful, (relatively) innocent PsychopathicManchild Yangire GirlWithPsychoWeapon with a backstory that would make her TheWoobie if she wasn't so matter of fact about it and didn't come from a setting that ran on grimdark. * [[BlaineTheM0n0 THIS]] troper is thought of as a {{Moe}} by many of his fellow tropers (he's still clueless as to how it happened). * This troper is constantly embarassed by her friends saying how utterly adorable she is. This is no helped by the fact that she looks about four years younger than her actual age. * This troper belongs to a students' club which each year chooses its Mascot. Mascot's duties involve hugging people. Unsurprisingly, the students who find themselves elected tend to be among the most {{moe}} of the freshier years (male Mascots tend to be {{bishonen}}s). * This Troper's (CCharmanderK) best friend (and crush <3) is a living example of this trope. She is a big cuddle-bug; loves making tiny, adorable little noises; smiles a lot; is constantly stating that she is ''not'' cute (and yet she is); and she has ''stuffed animals''. Heck, on time, she was being cute with her stuffed animal, and it inadvertently gave me an erection. (Thank God she never found out about that one) * This (female) Troper's (female) friend and crush is completely moe. She's a {{pettanko}} with blonde hair, big blue eyes and glasses who has a habbit of making 'Nyan' noises among many others and has an adorable cute cry and singing voice. She also dresses very cute and loves to cosplay. * This troper's girlfriend is painfully shy, afraid of...everything, spends her spare time either sewing, reading, learning cutesy dances, assembling cosplay outfits or taking naps, admits with embarrassment a desire to be protected and treated like a kitten, has long hair and enjoys braiding it, can either be with or without glasses, is a C-cup, has a stutter, and owns several pairs of cat ears. On top of that she is incredibly modest about her cuteness, thanking people when praised but not believing that they mean what they say, and her paradigm is woven around treating everyone nicely and keeping true to morals. And her secret dream is to become a Magical Girl as some do in anime. So, yeah. Who has two thumbs and is the luckiest person in the history of relationships? This chick. (Who herself is somewhat of a [[LittleMissBadass contrast in character]]...or so she likes to think.) ** Damn you... all that AND [[YuriFan she's a lesbian... I can barely sustain a certain bladder]] it's a good thing she's not [[{{Pettanko}} flat chested]] or you would be so [[TastesLikeDiabetes sued for putting such a dangerous collection of words in one place]]... you bitch! * This Troper is dating a girl that is pretty [[GoshDangItToHeck gosh darn]] moe. She's short and shy, and has freckles, ''braces'', and a hoodie with cat ears. * This Troper is a CloudCuckooLander and something of a GeniusDitz (very erudite and articulate, but a tad absent-minded, with

NoSenseOfDirection and [[TheIngenue a certain navet]]). This, coupled with being extremely short/small for an adult woman and a habit of [[{{Squee}} squeeing]] over [[CutenessProximity cute animals, especially rodents]], apparently gives people the Moe impression. Stories of the time she got blisters and needed to be carried home, or her never-ending quest for cute plush dragons, or the various ways she was [[TheWoobie tormented in her childhood]] probably reinforce this... she's vulnerable, but in no way an ExtremeDoormat, though. * This troper has a friend in hir university's improv group who is pretty much the most moe person zie has ever met. She's tiny, smiley, fairly {{Pollyanna}}-like and rather bookish. She can also be downright ''terrifying'' if she's playing a character in a more serious role in a scripted play. She and this troper also seem to have formed a MoeCouplet in relation to the rest of the group. ** This troper has a tendency to form [[MoeCouplet Moe Couplets]], seeing as zie's in another one with a friend of hirs in the same year. Zie's a LargeHam {{Cloudcuckoolander}} who enjoys Modernist literature. Hir friend is a TallDarkAndBishoujo BrokenBird in love with Victorian and fin-de-siecle literature. We both love OscarWilde, have WittyBanter together, highlight each others' good points in our personalities and are both [[LadyGaga Little Monsters]]. We make a great team. * [[{{Theoneyoucallwe}} I'm]] curious to know if I've ever been considered 'moe.' I'm [[FunSize short]], a [[NoIndoorVoice loudmouth,]] drop [[ClusterFBomb Cluster F-Bombs]] repeatedly, freckled (apparently that's a fetish fuel. Who knew?) with the usual auburn/red hair ([[{{BerserkButton}} I am NOT a ginger!]]) and uh...yeah. I also get mistaken for being 12, despite being nearly a decade older. [[{{SarcasmMode}} Lolicon, eat your heart out]]. I also have a rainbow obsession. [[{{EverythingsBetterWithRainbows}} Everything's better with rainbows.]] [[{{LittleMissBadass}} Also, I'll kick your ass.]] ** Although it's no wonder I get mistaken for being so young: glasses, braces, height don't exactly help me... ** D'awwwwww ** ...[[SincerityMode Are you single?]] * Like some others on this page, this troper has become memetically moe in certain social circles; despite not knowing whatever could have merited it as a self-depreciating ExtremeDoormat-NiceGuy. I hate myself, trying to be only be part of the scenery, but I get told I'm adorable then promptly dragged around. I find it [[{{Understatement}} a little messed up]]. * This troper's nineteen-year-old cousin is about five feet even, has almost no... [[MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail tracts of land]], has a very young face, always wears a striped scarf that tries to eat her, and is painfully shy. It's no wonder everyone cuddles her. <<|TroperTales|>> * This Troper's girlfriend is a complete moe blob. Although she's sixteen, she is really short, has a baby face, really long eyelashes, freckles, tiny fingers and ears, and has many cute quirks due to slight autism. She's very [[CloudCuckooLander spacey]], is a type A [[{{Tsundere}} Tsundere]], loves cute things, is a [[{{Yaoi Fangirl}}

yaoi fangirl]] and absolutely hates being called cute. She often gets asked out by 11-year-olds, soomething this troper finds hilarious. This troper is the luckiest person in the world. * My girlfriend seems to think this of me. 6'2" white lanky nerd with glasses and the dorkiest smile God has ever created. ** So in her view you are {{Adorkable}}. * This troper is dating a moe. On the outside, she's [[DarkerAndEdgier edgier]] than the average moe suspect, complete with [[DelinquentHair black hair with red/purple highlights]] and piercings, but she has cute quirks to her like her love for antique keys. I got her one, and her reaction showed me why I love it when I see her smile. * This troper gets referred to as "moe" by a friend of hers. I'm a hazel-eyed, brunette NiceGirl with MamaBear tendencies (you hurt one of my friends I will [[ImprobableWeaponUser CHEESEGRATER]] you) and the friend who calls me Moe is short, curly-haired, has long eyelashes and freaking HUGE EYES and wears ElegantGothicLolita clothing. SHE'S moe. * A girl in my group of friends (who I am currently in love with) is universally agreed to be Moe by said group of friends. This is probably part of the reason she is so popular, and why I am in love with her. * Were this troper given the chance to hug MishaCollins, she would take it. And then she could die happy. * This Troper's girlfriend is this trope incarnate. She has a soft high voice, is about 5 foot two, and, upon first meeting you, will barely look above your midriff she is so shy. Once she opens up, however, she gets even cuter. She makes such cute "eep" sounds when poked in the belly or sides, insists she's not nearly attractive as I say she is (she is), has long dark hair that frames her face, says words in such an adorable fashion, like saying "sowwie" instead of "sorry." Oh, and she's also a bit of a fanGirl and NightmareFetishist. AND she loves Disney and anime, or at least Pokemon. * This troper's friend is the Moe-est moeblob in Moe-town. She's really short with big eyes, small hands and feet, and clockspringcurly hair. She is also arguably in love with everyone (and uke to everything that moves) and makes cute little noises either on purpose (such as "Raar!" with accompanying claw hands) or when provoked (poke her in the ribs and she'll make puppy sounds). She's outrageously cuddly to boot--she will sit on anyone's lap for no reason other than she wants to. There's a reason this troper would date her were it not for that pesky gender barrier and IncompatibleOrientation. * This Troper has been called moe. She's five feet and one inch tall, with her hair either in a [[HimeCut Hime Cut]] or [[GirlishPigtails Girlish Pigtails]], big-ish blue eyes, a love for Grade A [[ZettaiRyouiki Golden Thigh Ratio]], [[GlassesGirl glasses sometimes]], scared of a lot of things, and has caused several people, including teachers, to want to hug her and protect her and so on. * This troper has been called moe by just about everyone she knows. She's four feet and ten inchest all, has hair that's so dark brown its almost black and either wears it in a ponytail or leaves it down, big dark brown eyes, [[GlassesGirl wears glasses]], is very sensitive, hates being called short, shrimp or any variation of height insult,

and is very cuddly and ungodly ticklish. * This (short, cute) troper sometimes likes to act moe on purpose, to get a reaction from people (especially men) or when dealing with an intimidating situation. * This tropette is considered this by her peers; I'm 6'3'', AmbiguouslyBrown, a {{Meganekko}}, a C-cup, [[ShesGotLegs nice legs]], clumsy to boot, spacey, has a soft voice, and [[{{Tsundere}}all]] [[{{Kuudere}}kinds of]] [[{{Dandere}}Dere]] * [[Tropers/SanaMae I]] get called moe a lot, due to being short, [[CloudCuckooLander spacy]], slightly dorky, clumsy, and attractive in a cute sort of way. It used to irritate me, but now I exaggerate it in a case of RealLife playing to the audience. * This troper has a friend who is almost painfully moe, and she is completely aware of it. She's barely five feet tall, with big eyes and a button nose. An avid cosplayer, she delights in choosing costumes that reflect her inherent cuteness, or else humorously subvert it (she makes the most adorable [[{{Homestuck}} Gamzee]]!). * This troper had a college seatmate who was the resident moe of their org. Said girl was tiny, had cute glasses, a high pitched voice, and was given a Pokemon nickname by the older students. It was almost easy to forget that she was actually majoring in chemical engineering. * [[@/QuackorTheFowl This troper]] had a girl in his high school class who pretty much fits most of the criteria: glasses, shy voice and stature, and tiny. However, it became subverted when she got herself a Facebook account and showed that she is...pretty dang crazy. * Friends of this troper claim she fits the bill - in looks. 1,60 m, petite, I look way younger than I am (16 instead of my actual 24 summers), dark hair, dark eyes, heart shaped face. That's what you see when you look at me. The fact that I love feminine, flowing clothes, dresses and skirts with a bit frill doesn't help and that I am a rather [[ThePollyanna positive thinking]] and [[GenkiGirl cheerful]] person with a geek streak a mile wide. I gave up demanding them to stop calling me cute and sweet. I prefer proving them wrong every time I open my mouth (which probably is the foulest on my university campus and is frequently used for backtalking, heated discussion, snark, snark, snark, bickering, yelling and shocking people in general who were fooled by my SnowWhite appearance.) * I had a coworker at my last job who was Moe, despite being well outside normal Moe age range (45). She's very young-looking, chubby with a round face, wears glasses, is [[GenkiGirl genki]], has a high sweet voice, is geeky, collects silly toys (like ducks) and puts them around her cube, and is just very sweet and helpful to everyone. Also, she makes cute gestures and flails her hands when she talks. * I might be considered a Moe male, despite being in my early 50s. I'm short (5'3"), chubby, shy, wear glasses, have lots of geeky interests, and am rather asexual. People tend to react to me with a desire to help me; I've had strangers on the subway straighten my tie, people on the street ask me if I need directions, etc.

MoeAnthropomorphism

* [[JuiceBoxHero This troper]] has recently been trying to personify ''American presidents'' as cute little MoeMoe girls, using a [[{{Flanderization}} heavily Flanderized]] version of their personalities and image. They range from: ** Tomboy {{Tsundere}} Theodore Roosevelt *** Meh. She should be a MoeMoe IllGirl (at first) who eventually becomes a BadAss LadyOfAdventure! ** {{Meganekko}} tag team consisting of [[{{Kuudere}} Woodrow Wilson]] and [[{{Yandere}} Harry Truman]] ** CloudCuckooLander Thomas Jefferson ** ElegantGothicLolita Abe Lincoln ** [[TheDitz George W. Bush]] ** [[IllGirl William Henry Harrison]] ** And yes, FDR is ''indeed'' a DisabledHottie. ** [[LoveFreak Barack]] [[WideEyedIdealist Hussein]] [[IncrediblyLamePun Moebama]] *** Pictures! Pleaaaase? **** Only one I have so far is [[http://i175.photobucket.com/albums/w139/lemoncakeslove/girlroosevelt .jpg Teddy.]] **** That is cute. To a disturbing level. You really need to draw the rest of these. ** This troper would like to make a humble contribution,[[http://weirdnessmagnet.deviantart.com/art/GOTHICLOLITA-LINCOLN-185024280]] since these ideas are awesome and seriously need to be posted here, one way or another. *** The [[SchoolgirlLesbians First Ladies]] are sort of generating their own fandom with this troper's class as well. As well as [[EmotionlessGirl Calvin]] [[CuteMute Coolidge.]] *** This troper feels some sort of fetish coming on already. *** I'm working on adapting other non-Presidential historical figures into the moeness. Among them: [[LadyOfWar General Patton,]] Robert E. Lee, [[CrazySurvivalist Joseph]] [[AxeCrazy McCarthy]], Alexander Hamilton, and Henry Clay. And just in case you're wondering: the most popular pairing right now among this troper's class is Hamilton/Jefferson. *** This Troper would just DIE if you did [=MacArthur=]. *** The newest one I'm working on drawing isn't as cute, but has [[NeverMessWithGranny her own perks:]] John McCain. *** You must adapt this into a webcomic! It could be very popular! **** Yeah; it'd be like ''AxisPowersHetalia'', but with a smaller geographical area and a GenderFlip. * When I saw this page I was sort of worried they were real, and discussing their experiences in our wiki. * What about {{Moe}} edutainment show hosts? How about ''[[MythBusters Moethbusters?]]'' ** [[LittleMissSnarker Deadpan]] Jamie ** GenkiGirl Adam, [[VerbalTic buum~]] ** {{Dojikko}} Tori ** {{Meganekko}} Grant. Yes, I know Grant doesn't wear glasses. It's the ''personality'' that counts. *** Well' Grant actually ''does'' wear glasses once or twice on the

show so, this has mor eto it than one would think. ** And Kari--erm, [[FetishFuel/MythBusters wait a minute...]] *** I actually started drawing this. I'll post pictures when I've worked out something I don't hate. **** [[TheTallOne I]] did it. And somehow, SailorMoon got involved. [[http://rosesinthesnow.deviantart.com/art/Sailor-Scout-Mythbusters163482907 It's only Jaime and Adam.]] And they're Sailor Scouts. I need to go lie down, now. ** And ''GoodEats?'' Alton is ''totally'' a {{Meganekko}} BigEater. You know it in your heart to be true. * If this troper fans something, she's probably come up with a {{Moe}} version of one or more of its characters. One of its ''weirder'' characters. (Well, weird as {{Moe}} characters, anyway...) ** [[ChibiRobo Chibi Rob-moe]] is the hardest-working little RobotMaid you ever saw. Also a CuteMute; she merely [[SignLanguage holds up signs]] saying "Yes" and "No." Instead of her head, her HyperspaceArsenal is hidden beneath her apron. And yes--she still trails an adorable giant plug everywhere. *** Telly Vision, on the other hand, is a borderline {{Yandere}} RobotGirl prone to OccularGushers at the slightest provocation. [[HollywoodToneDeaf Do NOT let her near your karaoke machine if you enjoy your ear drums.]] ** [[BeyondGoodAndEvil Doburu-Ecchi-chan]] is very [[GenkiGirl excitable]], [[VerbalTic kaason~!]] She is ''not'' a [[{{Ecchi}} pervert]], ''kaason~!'' '''[[MegatonPunch * PUNCH* ]]''' ** [[{{Psychonauts}} Moesha Nein]] needs no [[EmotionlessGirl heart]], for it can be [[BrokenBird broken.]] Wears only the finest ElegantGothicLolita clothing, for everything else is [[BerserkButton tacky.]] *** Well, she'd better not look at Thorni-tan. Those striped stockings combined with that Napoleon hat... Call the fashion orderlies! ** [[CodeLyoko Aelita]] is already pretty {{Moe}}, but ''Jere-moe'' is a {{Meganekko}}, borderline {{Dojikko}}, decidedly [[TheWoobie overworked and underappreciated]] moeblob in a turtleneck sweater. *** * several deep breaths* I... that... I demand a picture of this. * From [[JuiceBoxHero the creator of Moe Presidents,]] how about Moe Elements? There's the cheerfully high-pitched GenkiGirl Helium, and [[TheOjou the Noble Gases,]] as a start. ** [[{{Yandere}} Uranium]]? ** Osmium-tan is totally TheDitz. Why? Because she's ''the densest element!'' ...Why aren't you laughing? *** I chuckled. ** Iron-tan has BoobsOfSteel. Both figuratively and literally. *** Oxygen is the TeamMom. ** Gold needs to be a Bishiebo (sp?). ** pictures please! * Like the above troper, this one is working on a moe anthropomorphism element... thing. Fluorine is a DeadpanSnarker/cynic (because she's so negative); Xenon is a top-hat wearing CuteMute. All of the other noble gases disapprove of their relationship on principle (noble gases aren't supposed to interact with commoners), except Argon, who pretends to object on the grounds of nobility but is actually

[[CrackPairing just jealous]]. * This troper has been meaning to draw Moe versions of [[{{Warhammer}} the Great Gods of Chaos]] for a while. * This troper has been found in the possession of [[TheFrenchRevolution Mo Jacobins]] and other French revolutionary figures, [[Literature/CrimeAndPunishment Mo Crime And Punishment]] featuring IllGirl Raskolnikov and HotBlooded {{pettanko}} Razumikhin, Mo Marx and Engels (who are, apparently, frequently mistaken for schoolgirl lesbians), and Mo [[TeensAreMonsters Leopold and Loeb]], who are both damn cute and damn terrifying. (And prone to be crackpaired with Parker and Hulme.) I swear, some of these don't have to do with people ending up dead. Our Humane Letters class also reenacted the build-up to World War One as an anthropomorphic drama-- we had TheDitz, the {{Tsundere}}, the {{Meganekko}}, [[{{Ojou}} one spoiled princess]], and a SweetPollyOliver (Germany, wearing a bowler hat.) Yes, I did inform my teacher of the existence of ''AxisPowersHetalia'' afterward. She found it hilarious. (Yes, the historical figures are somewhat {{flanderized}}, but when they all have collectively more issues than the archives of National Geographic, you don't particularly ''want'' accurate. See Wild Mass Guessing: Real Life for the French Revolution ones. ) ** ...I'm sorry, but...Moe [[TheStoic Robespierre]]? *** Yes. [[StoicWoobie Robespierre]]. ** Also, the [[CheerfulChild Periodic Table]] and [[CuteShotaroBoy Photosynthesis]] are so my ToyShip. (At least in part due to [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wj8TGhcCnxs&feature=related Peter]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a0L8Qn6cWeE Weatherall]] videos on YouTube. Warning-- those videos are major EarWorm fodder.) * This troper had ideas of making versions from the GUILT from Trauma Center * This Troper is working on Moe-ifying insects. So far, I have a [[{{Wangst}} moth]], an [[WrenchWench ant]], and a [[{{Meganekko}} dragon]][[MostCommonSuperpower fly]]. I'm planning to do a [[TheLibby butterfly]], a [[{{Yandere}} praying mantis]], a [[CheerfulChild ladybug]], a [[StepfordSmiler wasp]], a [[GenkiGirl grass]][[{{Pettanko}} hopper]], and a [[DarkActionGirl spider]]. They have six (or eight) limbs, chitinous skin, sometimes wings, and antennae. They have BlankWhiteEyes, to make up for compound eyes, clothes, and hair. Any suggestions? ** I would suggest you post these where we can adore them. That and make sure these dont get too close to [[TouhouProject Wriggle]] * [[{{Midna}} This troper]] has moe anthropomorphized some of the cast of ''{{Kirby}}''. They mostly retain their personalities, insofar as they had personalities in the original game; Kirby is a plump, gluttonous CheerfulChild, Waddle Dee is a {{Dojikko}}, Waddle Doo is a LittleMissBadass, Whispy Woods is TallDarkAndBishoujo (except she has curly green hair), Lo[=l=]olo and Lalala are [[TheIdiotFromOsaka The Idiots From Float Islands]], Kracko is basically a CuteMonsterGirl version of him/herself, King (or Queen, rather) Dedede is a rather unsympathetic type of GenkiGirl with the MostCommonSuperPower, Meta Knight retains his/her game personality, and Rick, Coo, and Kine are basically Kirby's [[CoolBigSis Cool Big Sisters]]. I've also gone so

far as to moeify the Halberd Reactor, of all things, for... uh, I know it was for a reason. ** Pictures or they don't exist. ** What's ''really'' strange is that I've seemed to develop a very mild schoolyard crush on Kirby-tan. Trick question: if you're in love with your own creations, however slightly, does that make you a narcissist? *** Considering it's just Kirby made cuter, I'd say no. Now, if it was YOURSELF that was Moe-ified... * This Troper makes numbers as ''army generals'' in her spare time. Not very educational as 219, after a series of recruitment strips, becomes 94672358. The numbers go from 0-10 (and totally not listed so I won't forget about them); ** [[IllGirl Zero]] Medic, and very withdrawn. He also has a contagious and very deadly disease. Because of this, he's constantly tired, always wears gloves, and massacres both enemies and allies on the battlefield. Leaves actual touching to his workers for obvious reasons. ** [[HotBlooded One]] Loud, obnoxious, and copies everyone's fighting styles. ** [[{{Tsundere}} Two]] No-nonsense and uses tactics and swordsmanship in the battlefield. She's tsuntsun for One(and occasionally Three) and deredere for Four. Main Character. ** [[ChivalrousPervert Three]] Archer. Refuses to form alliances with Two unless she goes on a date with him. ** [[TheStoic Four]] Very very quiet heavy swordsman. Has a slight obsession with his {{big brother mentor}} Eight. ** [[TeamMom Five]] Slightly overweight and [[StepfordSmiler eerily cheerful]] lancer. Neutral with everyone. ** [[{{yandere}} Six]] Well-mannered girl who overthinks too much. Her specialty is traps. ** [[TeamDad Seven]] Likes martial arts and tends to suck out loud in large wars. [[BigBrotherInstinct Takes care of Six.]] ** [[AloofBigBrother Eight]] User of various heavy weapons. Genuinely cares for Four, but since they both seem to have trouble with the whole emotion thing, they don't get along. ** [[TallDarkAndBishoujo Nine]] Just uses {{mooks}}. Has a total superiority complex and a lot of funding. ** [[TheAragorn Ten]] Reached his place as the top of the ranks by throwing Zero into battles. ** The continuing 20s, 30s, 40s, etc. etc. are just cooler versions of their single-digit equivalents, and all seem to abuse Zero's disease. *** This sounds amazing. Do you put them online? * [[{{Usagi}} This troper]] does something similar, but makes them {{Bishonen}}/[[CuteShotaroBoy Cute Shotaro Boys]]. And they're often from pretty odd sources. Her most interesting ones to date are: ** [[{{Earthbound}} Giygas]], a {{Yandere}} from the deepest depths of the NightmareValley, complete with inhumanly-wide SlasherSmile. ** [[YumeNikki Uboa]], whom would just be a normal cute schoolboy if it wasn't for the [[GoodScarsEvilScars creepy-ass scars]] on his face, and is unaware that he shares the same situation as Giygas, being a humanized EldritchAbomination. Is also kind of a neat freak due to a

[[MemeticMutation meme]] between this troper and a few friends that Uboa in the game sounds like a vacuum cleaner. *** At some point, [[{{Usagi}} this troper]] kept herself up at night thinking up what would happen if they did...[[IfYouKnowWhatIMean ''it'']]. Most likely, TheEndOfTheWorldAsWeKnowIt. * [[DaNuke Da_Nuke]] has thought about moefying Guadalajara's universities like this: ** ITESO: GranolaGirl {{Bokukko}} surfer girl (the latter because ITESO students ''love'' the beach). ** Universidad Panamericana: ChurchMilitant ElegantGothicLolita and TheOjou. ** Tecnolgico de Monterrey: UnclePennybags. ** Universidad Autnoma: CorruptCorporateExecutive {{Yandere}}. ** Universidad de Guadalajara: {{Meganekko}} with EducationMama and MagnificentBastard tendencies. ** UNIVER and Lamar: TheDitz. * This troper has had Moe Anthro takes on ''fields of mathematics'' bubbling in her head for months now. So far Algebra is a nut for [[DetectiveDrama mystery novels]], Geometry simply [[SuperOCD must have order]], and Statistics [[YouSuck has a gambling problem]]. * This troper is working on a series of spacecraft personifications, starting with stations: ** International Space Station (She goes by Alpha, it's shorter): Mixed-race [[{{SmartGuy}} Smart Girl]] ScienceHero, and WideEyedIdealist. ** Skylab: Quiet TheSpock Non Action Girl living in the shadow of her AlwaysSomeoneBetter big brother, Apollo. ** Mir: Quirky and energetic BunnyEarsLawyer type and Alpha's CoolOldGuy mentor. * This troper's younger brother was inspired by AxisPowersHetalia to start a story about the moe anthropomorphic personifications of the fifty states in the United States of America. Guam and Puerto Rico will probably make appearances, too. * This troper created.... * drumroll* ** Moe Classes: *** Science: A smart kid but can be sort of TheDitz. She's good with chemicals and always hangs out with Math. *** Math: A math wiz, but he's sort of a CuteMute most of the time. He has a small crush on Science, but she doesn't seem to notice. *** English/Language Arts: She's always reading and she's just as quiet as Math, but when she talks, she uses long words almost no one understands. *** History/Social Studies: Rather tall, he's taken for granted and is considered the least important. But he's a bit of a wiseass when he gets social. (He always has to learn from his mistakes, otherwise he repeats them over and over and OVER.) ** She has also made...WEBBYTANS...Here's the main ones so far: *** Youtube: A Yandere with a cut top (that lables "Youtube" XD) and a BAN hammer. She's Yanyan for the copyright infrigers (Hope I spelled that right.) and deredere for all the Youtube users. *** Newgrounds: A CuteMute who owns several Ban guns. He's very protective and can have a BigBrotherComplex for some of the users.

*** Deviantart: A Tsundere who tands to overcritize on all of the art unless they get a DD (Daily Devitation). Then he goes all deredere for them. He often uses his Ban paintbrush to get rid of trolls. *** Wikipedia: Sometimes a KnowNothingKnowItAll, sometimes a human (so to speak) dictionary. He has a weird relationship with TV Tropes and a rocky one with Encyclopedia Dramatica, his SitcomArchNemesis. He has a younger sister named Wikipe-tan. *** TV Tropes: A Type 2 Tsundere who like to tease and basically abuse Wikipedia. She has a decent relationship with ED, but needs bucketloads of BrainBleach to even speak to him. She also has a sister who she adores, but I guess she sometimes gets ignored. *** Encyclopedia Dramatica: ....Well....He's basically a living ClusterFBomb and he offers BrainBleach to newcomers to his site. His SitcomArchNemesis is Wikipedia and Uncyclopedia and he constantly terrorize them as a result. He's very good friends with 4chan and her sister, Goruchan. {{NSFW}} things is his specialty and he's always offending some poor soul. *** 4chan and Goruchan are both one hell of a NightmareFuelStationAttendant. Both are Yandere but unlike Goruchan, 4chan has a soft spot for [[PetTheDog Yotsuba, children and cats]]. Goruchan...let's not go into that. ** Finally this troper (who is also a fan of AxisPowersHetalia) has created Arizona (TheDitz), Arctic (Kuudere), California (SpoiledBrat), Iraq (Sort of like the male version of CoolBigSis/ AloofBigBrother/ JerkWithAHeartOfGold; depends on who you ask) and Babylon (HotShonenMom) as her original characters. ** What do you think? *** TropeTan exists on this Wiki. Not unlike what you just said, personality-wise. Same with Wikipe-tan. **** I'm sorry. I shall go and just die from epic fail now. **** What epic fail? This sounds totally awesome! * This Troper just had the scatterbrained idea to turn HP Lovecraft's creatures into Bishonen. ** Already done. * This troper is working on anthropomorphizing ''[[NiceHat hats]]''. She's already come up with: ** [[TertiarySexualCharacteristics Baseball Cap-tan]], a HotBlooded {{Tomboy}}. ** [[HighClassGlass Top Hat-tan]], a [[UpperClassTwit dimwitted]] ElegantGothicLolita. ** [[GloriousMotherRussia Ushanka-tan]], an [[EmotionlessGirl emotionless]] {{Meganekko}} with a FunetikAksent. ** Almost-identical twins [[{{Yandere}} Fedora-tan]] [[TheFamilyForTheWholeFamily and]] [[{{Tsundere}} Trilby-tan]]. * This Troper is currently considering Moe Anthropomorphizing various aspects of the internet for a story I may end up writing. Currently, all I have is 4-tan (wears the anonymous suit, carries a troll club, looks a bit like Hades from ''Hercules'') and Blog-tan (Very cool, calculating, always thinking, "hey, this might be good for a blog entry") * [[{{Burstkiller}} This troper]] been thinking about personifying networks:

** {{ABC}} and {{NBC}} as brothers, with ABC as WideEyedIdealist and NBC as a {{RalphWiggum}}/{{CloudCuckooLander}} (due to the boneheaded moves as of late), ** {{CBS}} having [[SplitPersonality two personalities]] alternating between TheOjou (Past history of programs skewing older) and TheLadette (the younger-skewing comedies of today), ** Fox as a BrattyHalfPint (with hair that [[ExpressiveHair acts like fox ears]]), ** TheCW as a [[{{UPN}} b]][[TheWB i]][[TwoferTokenMinority racial]] ValleyGirl, ** and MyNetworkTV as TheWoobie. *** I'm undecided on {{PBS}} though. FoxNews would definitely be BlondeRepublicanSexKitten. **** {{PBS}} is a {{Goth}} that sleeps outside of the library. **** Why thanks! ** {{MSNBC}} as a Bifauxnen who pretty much [[FoeYay likes to mess]] [[LesYay with FoxNews' head]] by switching herself with RachaelMaddow. ** Nickelodeon as a {{Bishonen}} {{Schemer}} *** What about CartoonNetwork? (Then again, they basically killed it...) **** [[FallenPrincess Fallen Prince]] ** The Discovery Channel should be a [[HotScientist hot]] / MadScientist. And of course, NerdsAreSexy will factor in. ** Ladies and Gentlemen: TroperWorks/BattleOfTheNetworkTans * This troper has made [[Spore]]-tan. See [[http://forum.spore.com/jforum/posts/list/48231.page here]]. Not quite sure if her personality is a single trope though. * This troper found, of all things, Moe Anthromorphisms of the player 1 and 2 ships from ''Raiden''. Now he wants to do cosplay based off of it. * This Troper has gone so far as to "Moe" her own computer * This troper, inspired by AxisPowersHetalia, has created Moe versions of Greek city-states, Macedon, and Persia. So far, she has [[AntiHero Sparta]], [[BadassBookworm Athens]], [[AlwaysSecondBest Corinth]], [[{{Reincarnation}} Corinthia]], [[{{Tsundere}} Ionia]], [[BoisterousBruiser Thebes]], [[OneOfTheBoys Argos]], [[ActionGirl Macedon]], and [[JerkWithAHeartOfGold Persia]]. * Also inspired by AxisPowersHetalia, this troper recently completed a picture book about the [[http://artiedrawings.deviantart.com/art/French-Revolution-Page-1152554096 French]] [[http://artiedrawings.deviantart.com/art/FrenchRevolution-Cover-152499539 Revolution.]] All the characters are CuteShotaroBoy s. [[http://artiedrawings.deviantart.com/art/Jacobin152001329 Meet]] [[{{Yandere}} Jacobin-tan]] and [[http://artiedrawings.deviantart.com/art/Napoleon-153167624 Napoleon!]] * ThisTroper has tried to (moe) anthropomorphise his colleges (and other tertiary education institutions in [[HongKong the city]] later), resulting in a [[UnwantedHarem harem (some of them unwanted)]] anime/game with a darker insight. Since there are (probably) not many Hong Kong tropers, I will try to make it a bit more clear. ** Chung Chi College

*** [[NunsAreMikos Nun]] - CCC was founded by representatives of Protestant churches *** MostCommonSuperPower - CCC, among the colleges of the university, occupy the biggest parts of the campus, probably reaching 50 hectares. *** Dojikko - Among the colleges, CCC is known to have hostels built outside of where they should be at. *** UnclePennybags - Being a church-sponsored college, CCC is naturally rich. *** StepfordSmiler - Type B, see below ** New Asia College *** ChineseGirl - NAC's goal was to promote traditional chinese culture (new confuciusism if you will). *** CoolGuns - Mauser C96, due to its tight relationship with China *** TallDarkAndBishoujo - NAC locates on top of the mountain *** Dirt Poor - NAC, like UC, was penniless at the beginning (to the point the school song refer this as "having nothing in our hands") *** BerserkButton - Her age (60) is the oldest among four. *** StepfordSmiler - Type C, see below (again) ** United College *** TokenLoli - This troper's [[AuthorAppeal personal appeal]] *** OlderThanTheyLook - Reaching 53 this year, much to her dismay *** BitchInSheepsClothing - In 1976, the government ordered the three colleges to hand out the rights of holding courses to the university (TheFederation). While CCC and NAC strongly oppose it, UC secretly (to the point of having the white letter with big red "CONFIDENTIAL" on it) support the act. Therefore, in the dark version, UC would backstab (literally) people for herself, while she would be annoying and possibly selfish in the light version. It also causes the StepfordSmiler personality for the two. *** LethalChef - UC Canteen is/was known to have food so poor that is virtually inedible. ** Shaw College *** GenkiGirl - Being the youngest college (for now), SC is portrayed as a youthful and active college. (The reality is probably best left untold) *** Invisibility - Located faraway from the rest of the campus with next to no classes take place there, many students do not even enter SC during his/her years of studies for more than one times. Also, since SC was established in 1986, long after the other three, and the story was set in TheSeventies (The paper money is implied to have Murray MacLehose, the "current" governor's head on it), SC is actually [[Retcon retcon'd]] in. *** Haha! [[@/GamerFromJump I'm]] going to this school for study abroad! * I attempted [[RobotGirl doing this]] to the 20 year old program that my class takes Algebra on. As an incentive to get me to work, I imagined that every time I got one wrong, she would get a whiplash or an electric shock or something. However, due to my hatred of math in general and how glitchy and nitpicky the program was, I began getting them wrong on purpose to see her get hurt as my revenge. She was still pretty cute, though. * Examples from [[{{Nausicaa}} this troper]] and her strange

imagination: ** GenderFlip-ped, moefied Brian Eno and David Byrne. Byrne-tan is a DeadpanSnarker with a collection of ridiculously large suits, is a bit of a BrokenBird {{Tsundere}}, and is in a TomboyAndGirlyGirl friendship with Eno-tan. Eno-tan is a [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} spacedout]], still rather perfectionistic but nevertheless good-hearted girl with a tendency towards rather flamboyant outfits. ** Moe Modernist Authors: [[TheMadHatter James Joyce]], [[TallDarkAndSnarky Ezra Pound]] and [[BritishStuffiness TS]] [[StraightGay Eliot]] with special guests [[{{Oranyan}} WB Yeats]], [[TheWoobie H.D.]], [[SchoolgirlLesbians Virginia Woolf, Vita Sackville-West]], [[{{Keet}} Langston Hughes]] [[MyFriendsAndZoidberg and George Oppen.]] ** Moe {{U2}}. * This Troper does this quite a bit, though her style is a bit different; Eyes, skin tone, and other features may not resemble those of normal humans. An example would be how A teapot in a tea cozy was a girl with sea-foam green skin, pupiless eyes of the same color, a handle-like "nose", and spouts for hair, wrapped in a colorful quilt. Other examples are: ** ''Bishounen:'' A piano, a tree, and one of my Mp3 players ** ''Cute Shotaro Boys:'' Another mp3 player, a violin, a flute, and a flashdrive ** ''Bishoujo:'' Another Violin, an electric piano (Not to be confused with a keyboard), and My sister's laptop ** ''Girls:'' My Computer, My Phone (Paired with the flashdrive), And RAINBOWS ** I also have an idea for a story which has the anthropomorphisis of stars as a plot point and basic universal law, with the main character being an example using the star Sirius. * This Troper would love to do Moe Anthropomorphisms of webcomics, though she'd need a big list of webcomics to do so. * This Troper drew his family's 11 month old puppy as a two year old girl, as drawing practice. It matched the puppy's looks and personality - She had GirlishPigtails to match how her ears usually look, a dribbling nose to represent her wet nose, a hoodie to represent how soft her fur was as well as the draw strings she likes to chew on, her "doll" which is my father's used sock, and IdiotHair for that old-fashioned moe charm of some of the puppy's cluelessness... Take it from me, it TastesLikeDiabetes. * This Troper has been working on designing Moe Anthropomorphism for the fifty states and four territories of the USA for a web comic she wants to start. Her most well-developed ones are Massachusetts ({{Meganekko}} {{Tsundere}} with GirlishPigtails), Alaska (TheWoobie and GentleGiant), Florida (TallDarkAndHandsome but a GrumpyOldMan at heart), and New York (JerkWithAHeartOfGold and TheRival to Massachusetts), but she does have basic designs for all 54 characters. * This Troper made [[{{Earthbound}} Starman-tan]], who is a teenage girl with a helmet that had sunglasses on them (you know, the type of helmet the PowerRangers wear, or [[{{Megaman}} Protoman...]]), silver boots, and a minidress with long sleeves and the Starman emblem. * This troper wants to this: If wikipedia can have a second Moe

Anthropomorphism for it's qoutes section, why can't we? while we're at it, I want a CMOA-tan, CMOF-tan, CMOH-tan and Crowning-music-ofawesome-tan. * [[Tropers/ZootyCutie This Troper]] is currently making Moe Anthromorphism versions of the VeggieTales characters. So far I have (list will be edited later): ** Archibald: A {{Pettanko}} and {{Meganekko}} DitzyGenius. ** The French Peas: [[ScrewySquirrel Screwy Squirrel]] identical twins. ** Jimmy and Jerry: [[BigEater Big Eater]] [[NonIdenticalTwins Non Identical Twins]]. ** Bob: [[OnlySaneMan Only Sane Girl]] with [[BigBreastsBigDeal Big Breasts Big Deal]] (Type 3). ** Larry: TheDitz with IdiotHair ** The Rapscallions (all three AffablyEvil) *** #1: TallDarkAndBishoujo *** #2: GenkiGirl *** #3: LittleMissSnarker ** Mr. Lunt: SpicyLatina ** Pa Grape: CloudCuckooLander GadgeteerGenius ** Charlie Pincher: {{Tsundere}} (Type A) that's NotGoodWithPeople (Type 2) * [[@/HotelKilo This Troper]] was struck with the idea of making [[{{SoBadItsGood}} genderflipped]] [[{{sobaditshorrible}} moe]] [[{{WhatDoYouMeanItWasntMadeOnDrugs}} leaders]] of the American Revolution both British and Colonial based on their personalities to differing [[{{flanderization}} degrees]]. ** Gail Washington[[hottip:^:George Washington]]: Naturally first. Polite, rich, and loved by almost all she's definitely TheOjou, best categorized as a Type 1, with some hints of being a HugeSchoolgirl because of her height. [[{{LadyOfWar}} Don't let that]] [[{{TheChessmaster}} fool you.]] Doubles as a ReasonableAuthorityFigure that even Beatrix feels bad about [[{{BerserkButton}} disobeying]]. ** Next up is the semi-FiveManBand assembled from figures of the 1775 Quebec campaign. They're the most likely ones for me to actually do something with (story writting wise). *** [[{{TheHero}} Beatrix Arnold]][[hottip:^:Benedict Arnold]]: HotBlooded GenkiGirl [[{{ActionGirl}} who will only]] [[{{AFatherToHisMen}} ask you to go where she does]]. Unfortunately seems to have some [[{{CoolPeopleRebelAgainstAuthority}} other problems]]. Ended up in command more or less by accident, as a matter of fact her party consists of two of her nominal superiors. Has enough talents and skills to be considered TheAce by some of her superiors. *** [[{{TheLancer}} Rebbecca Montgomery]][[hottip:^:Richard Montgomery]]: Used to be a RetiredBadass before being [[{{ResignedToTheCall}} dragged back into it.]] While not as HotBlooded as Beatrix, she seems to be far more [[{{ActionGirl}} action oriented]] then Penelope. Forms the other half of somewhat unlikely [[{{BashBrothers}} bash sisters]] with Beatrix. Has some difficulty getting along with Penelope because of her more polite and

retiring nature, though things seem to have been made up [[{{fireforgedfriends}} between them.]] *** [[{{TheSmartGuy}} Dorothy Wooster]][[hottip:^:David Wooster]]: Childhood [[{{VitriolicBestBuds}} friends]] of Beatrix, there is some lasting acrimony between the two, once again caused by her HotBlooded nature contrasting with Dorothy's shades of ShrinkingViolet and ObstructiveBureaucrat nature as her friend sees it. Despite this, she is quite able and [[{{HeroOfAnotherStory}} brave]]in her own, more careful way. *** [[{{TheBigGuy}} Dinah Morgan]][[hottip:^:Daniel Morgan]]: A HotBlooded BoisterousBruiser with more then a few [[{{LargeHam}} hammy]] tendencies. Highly noticeable amongst her comrades since she towers over almost all of them. One of the best personality matches for Arnold, she JumpedAtTheCall to join Arnold's Party (opposed to Dorothy, Beatrix, Rebecca, and Penelope who were assigned). Has shown signs of ObfuscatingStupidity. *** [[{{BadassBookworm}} Penelope Schuyler]][[hottip:^:Philip Schuyler]]: Despite not having any particular reason to be there or even ''like'' her other expedition members (especially since two of them replaced her as commander), Penelope's more of an organizer then a fighter, and also their best negotiator. As well bred as [[{{TheOjou}} Gail]] but far more [[{{theStoic}} reserved]] then polite (and less imposing), she tends to [[{{FireForgedFriends}} rub]] Rebbecca wrong way. *** [[{{TheSixthRanger}} Molly Hazen]][[hottip:^:Moses Hazen]]: Odd girl out, she aligned with the others primarily because of poor treatment by the British then patriotic sympathy. Since then, she does seem to have developed genuine, for her, sympathetic feeling for the rebel cause. A SociopathicSoldier of the finest order, Molly manages to make even Dinah a bit nervous with her wanton destruction in battle. Despite all of this Molly remains the most GenreSavvy when it comes to dealing with [[{{ObstructiveBureaucrat}} Congress]], actually managing to get supplies and funds from them. Is the Red Oni to Penelope's Blue Oni. * This troper has been working on doing this to fanfic aspects. So far, there's: ** MarySue, a JerkAss who always goes on about how perfect she is. Kind of a BrattyTeenageDaughter ** DarkFic, an EmoTeen and TheQuietOne, has an on-off OppositesAttract with WAFF ** {{WAFF}}, a WideEyedIdealist and GenkiGirl, who [[AllGirlsWantBadBoys finds Dark Fic very attractive]] ** SlashFic, a YuriFangirl and YaoiFangirl, the ShipperOnDeck for any gay couple ([[AndZoidberg and Dark Fic/WAFF]]) ** [[AlternateUniverseFic AU]], a CloudCuckooLander that always seems to have his realities mixed up. Considered by the others to be schizophrenic ** CrackFic, the FunPersonified LovableRogue who makes fun of all the others. Often [[LampshadeHanging hangs lampshades]] on everything ** {{Lemon}}, a CovertPervert who the others generally need BrainBleach to talk to * [[@/{{Tidal_Wave_17}} This troper]] has decided to personify all the

literature genres. So far, all I have is: ** Horror - [[TheEeyore Depressing]] EmoTeen ** Gothic - TheStoic ElegantGothicLolita ** Comedy - ButtMonkey CloudCuckoolander ** Action - BadAss with a [[BadAssLongCoat long coat]] and [[CoolShades shades]] ** Fantasy - ManicPixieDreamGirl ** Romance - [[{{Yandere}} Yanderish]] NaiveEveryGirl LoveFreak ** Western - GoodOlBoy ** Children - [[TheDitz Childish]] CatGirl ** Historical - [[TimeTravel Time traveling]] TedBaxter InsufferableGenius ** Science Fiction - [[EmotionlessGirl Emotionless Boy]] ArtificialHuman * When I was about 10 I drew some pictures based on my goldfish if they were humans. * This troper challenges you to use tropers' physical traits to follow this trope of us. Accuracy will be judged by percentage. * This Troper once drew several Mario enemies like this. Goombas were small, grumpy kids, Koopas were usually happy and had hints of Cloudcuckoolander, Cheep Cheeps were small boys and girls in swimwear, and Lakitu was a Cloudcuckoolander. As for the less small and cute, Petey Piranha was a fat guy in his underwear. xD * A friend once drew Pac-Man and the ghosts like this. I'm also trying to make personifications out of Tetris blocks. * [[Tropers/SabresEdge This troper]], along with a few others, is part of an effort to make an anthropomorphic M42 Duster, which came out of a RunningGag in the Forum Games section: [[HaruhiSuzumiya Yuki Nagato]] + [[AntiAir M42 Duster]] = SoCoolItsAwesome. {{Shipping}} entirely optional, though preferably avoided. * This Troper thought up Moe Anthropomorphism verisons of {{DrawntoLife}} characters: ** Sock is A [[GenkiGirl Genki]] [[CheerfulChild Cheerful]] {{Cloudcuckoolander}}. ** Wilfre is an Evil {{GenkiGirl}} who practices {{BlackMagic}}. ** Salem is a {{Moe}} {{Woobie}} who's {{Wangst}} is {{PlayedforLaughs}}. (Think Mikuru cosplaying Phantom of the Opera.) ** Jowee is a tomboyish {{Bokukko}} who is almost always seen in her Gym Clothes. * [[Tropers/{{Foton}} I]] not only named my laptop "Claris" and refers to her as a "she" on top of imagining mylaptop as a cute girl, I flatout admitted that if Claris is a real girl, I would've married her instantly. Claris would've been a very, very patient YamatoNadeshiko as she's been on my side for a great 6-7 years now despite me constantly keeping her on for days on end. Now better get her to sleep >_<; * [[Tropers/K9Thefirst1 This troper]] has always wanted to see a dedicated work of Anthromorphetized ships. --> The types of ships would usually share the same tropes, though famous ones would have more defining ones added. ** Subs practically live in the the water ([[DontExplainTheJoke you know, cause they go under]]), especially the nukes. And considering

how nerdy Submarine warfare is, they would probably be [[{{Meganekko}} Meganekkos]]. [[HotSubOnSubAction Should they all be lesbians?]] *** [[TheAmericanCivilWar The CSS Hunly]] however, would be a {{Dojikko}} with SuperDrowningSkills. And TheWoobie. Poor thing. *** Nuclear missile submarines ought to be {{Yangire}}quiet and unobtrusive on the outside, ready to unleash [[NukeEm a worlddestroying inferno of thermonuclear fury]] on the inside. Not to mention the very obvious overtones of CompensatingForSomething with their [[FreudWasRight SLBMs...]] ** Given their starting sizes during/after WWI and how they've just kept getting bigger, Aircraft Carriers are [[HugeSchoolgirl Huge Schoolgirls]], and may or may not be TallDarkAndBishoujo. Given their roles as carrying planes and being the Flagships of modern fleets/''Carrier'' groups (if the countries could afford them), they could well be the TeamMom. ** The modern Cruise Ship would be a WideEyedIdealist crossed with FunPersonified. ** Old-school ocean liners would be the CoolOldLady, IWasQuiteTheLooker and GrandmaWhatMassiveHotnessYouHave for the old ones that are still around (the RMS Queen Mary for example). *** The Titanic would be ThePollyanna, TooGoodForThisSinfulEarth, and WideEyedIdealist. *** Her younger sister HMHS Britannic would also be the HospitalHottie, ''obviously''. ** Battleships, would... Well... With those ''[[IfYouKnowWhatIMean guns]]'', [[BoobsOfSteel what other tropes]] ''[[MostCommonSuperpower could they]]'', [[KeepAbreastOfThisIndex have]]? *** The [[ImperialJapan Yamato]] would also be TheOjou, the YamatoNadeshiko ([[CaptainObvious duh]]) and TallDarkAndBishoujo *** The Iowa-Class would all be the {{Lad-ette}} and the CoolOldLady. *** The Ironclads [[TheAmericanCivilWar CSS Virginia and USS Monitor]] would be TheRival towards eachother, mixed with TheOnlyOneAllowedToDefeatYou, as [[TruthInTelevision this actually happened]]: Monitor sank in a storm, and Virginia chose [[BetterToDieThanBeKilled to scuttle]]. *** Also, since, according to TheOtherWiki, the defining trait of a Monitor-type battleship is to have "disproportionally large main batteries compared to the rest of the ship" (sic), the Monitor would be short and have... [[GagBoobs well...]] *** Why just battleships? How about the adorably scruffy frigates and escorts, scrappy little destroyers, and the dashing, graceful cruisers? * I was gonna do this with music genres. so far i've got: ** [[HighClassGlass Classical]]: a posh snob in an edwardian suit. He would like to think [[TheHero he's in charge]] of the [[RagtagBunchOfMisfits group]] ** [[RebelliousRebel Punk]] ExactlyWhatItSayOnTheTin. He does not like being told what to do. He's pretty much TheHero, though he's textbook definition of [[SlidingScaleOfAntiHeroes a type 1 anti hero]]. The story pretty much revolves around him. Why? I like Punk. He's funny. ** [[ThePowerOfRock Rock]]:[[BigBrotherMentor He watches out for Punk]], and makes sure that Classical isn't too much of a dick to any

of the other genres. ** [[FunPersonified Pop]]: Standard issue ValleyGirl BottleFairy. Constantly tries to talk the other genres into partying. Sometimes it works, and when it does, everyone involved regrets it. ** [[GothRock Gothic Rock]] Rock's DistaffCounterpart, and a [[ADarkerMe a shadowy version of him]], Gothic Rock is easily the most [[TheEeyore depressing and melancholy]] character. ** Rap: TheScrappy. No one, not even Pop, the character who likes everyone, likes rap. * How about some anthropomorphisms for TYPEFACES? ** Times New Roman: An older British gentleman who is know for his editing of newspapers. Despite being old-fashioned, he loves working with computers. ** Helvetica: Close to a MarySue, though she's unaware of it. Takes pride in her Swiss heritage. Works mostly at airports and fashion departments. ** Comic Sans: He used to be comic book editor until he was fired, hence his name. [[TheAce Now he's a spokesman, a pharmacist, a children's teacher, a porn star...everything.]] However, [[TheScrappy everybody hates him]], and he is known as a highly annoying, ugly, ManChild drawn in PuniPlush who thinks he makes everything cooler. ** Impact: [[NoIndoorVoice NO INDOOR VOICE!]] He's so loud and in your face, he can only announce headlines. Loves internet memes, especially LOLcats. ** Caledonia: An old woman whose obsessed with literature and always trying to beat Times to the job. She's very popular and a bit too prideful. She speaks with a fake Scottish accent. * I'm working on creating Moe Anthropomorphisms of my main {{Pokemon}} team, as if they were Fantasy characters. ** [[BareFistedMonk Lucario]]: Stereotypical anime hero, only more down to earth and calm. ** [[MagicKnight Luxray]]: Female Asian thunder mage. Also uses a sword. ** [[LovableRogue Staraptor]]: Charming bad boy type with acrobatic moves. A bit on the cocky side. ** [[FunPersonified Floatzel]]: Redhead who always seems to be smiling. Uses a Water sword. ** [[OurElvesAreBetter: Torterra]]: Elven earth witch. A bit frail, but brave in a pinch. ** [[IncendiaryExponent: Typhlosion]]: TheStoic, more magic-focused fire mage. * This troper has considered, in the past, anthropomorphisms of thirdparty video game companies ({{Capcom}}, SquareEnix, etc.) as if they were video game developers instead of companies. Here are a few he has so far: ** [[TheStoic Konami]]: A straitlaced, rather cynical girl that only really shows much emotion when a BerserkButton is hit. ** [[Keet Capcom]]: An outgoing, energetic guy that [[CapcomVsWhatever loves challenging other companies to video game tournaments]]. Forms a

sort of SavvyGuyEnergeticGirl pairing with Konami, only {{Gender Flip}}ped. ** [[RedOniBlueOni Square Enix]]: Two guys that are pretty much {{foil}}s of each other. Square is an emotional, HotBlooded RPG fan that prefers to take the industry personally and make games on what platforms he chooses. Enix is more laid-back and is sort of the OnlySaneMan of the entire group of video game companies, though he loves to [[TedBaxter gloat]] over his success and views of the video game industry as a real business. ** [[TestosteronePoisoning id]]: A MANLY MAN with [[NoIndoorVoice NO INDOOR VOICE]] and loves to make {{First Person Shooter}}s. ** 3D Realms: The guy that disapproves of id's style and prefers to let his [[InformedAttribute supposed "manliness"]] flow into his [[DukeNukemForever work]]. He constantly procrastinates on it, though. * [[@/AwesomeZombie22 This Troper]] made a MoeAnthropomorphism of herself, 22-tan. She has three avatars of her in her gallery. * This troper was bored during math class, so she decided to make anthropomorphize(sp?) some numbers. ** 1 was a pitifully weak [[TheScrappy scrappy]] who wasn't that likable and didn't have many friends "one is the loneliest number" after all and he was greedy. He also wore an eyepatch and had a ponytail. ** 2 was a not-too-powerful [[GenkiGirl Genki girl]] who liked to show off, she idolized the leader 9 and either had a crush on 4 or was his sibling [[IncestSubtext or both]]. she always wore pigtails. ** 3 was a creepy magician with a third eye on his forehead. He had a creepy, rapist-y vibe and was interested in 2. ** 4 was a [[CuteShotaroBoy cute shotaro boy]]/ nerd combo. He wore glasses (sensing a theme here?) and had a crush on 7. ** 5 was almost entirely based on numbuh 5 from [[CodenameKidsNextDoor KND]] because I couldn't think of anything else. ** 6 was the [[TeamMom team mom]]/ maid/ moe-blob she wore lolita dresses and was in love with 9. I don't think she had a personality actually. ** 7 was very lucky, she though 4 was annoying, and was sort of a bitch (she doesn't really count as moe, so I won't really talk about her) ** 8 was a super smart loser guy who invented things. He was 4's mentor. ** 9 was some super awesome badass who lead them, being the highest number he was the most powerful of the team. He was a crazy cool guy that everyone liked (so yeah, basically a [[GaryStu gary-stu]] ** Thankfully [[CharacterizationMarchesOn Characterization marches on]] and they're not really just numbers anymore and everyone got a personality. * This troper once decided to personify solfege after finishing a music lesson. ** Do had a split personality. One personality was a knowledgeable but somewhat pretentious guy who would never admit he was wrong. WhenHeSmiles was in full effect. He wore royal blue and had mousy brown hair. ** Re was a very laidback, constantly amused guy. He didn't speak

much. Had a fondness for earthy colors. ** Mi was a tempermental primadonna who could summon bishoujo sparkles. ** Fa was a GenkiGirl (well, Boy) Cloudcuckoolander with dark feathery hair. He annoyed Mi and Do's male personality (mostly on accident) and got along quite well with Re. ** Sol was a sarcastic, ojou-like BigBeautifulWoman with a MamaBear instinct. She wore blue a lot. She was very decisive, and made it very obvious when she did not like a person. ** La was a mournful, serious, EeriePaleSkinnedBrunette that did not like strangers and barely could tolerate people she knew. Most often found crying. Very freaky. She wore teal. ** Ti was a tender, motherly crybaby who couldn't say no and was very easily influenced. She grated on Sol's nerves at times. She wore light green. ** Do's female personality was very devout. She tried to inspire people and usually failed. She didn't talk about much besides her religion. She was irritated easily, just like her male personality. For some reason I always picture her wearing a White Mage costume from FinalFantasy. * [Not so very] Interestingly, when I started to personify the tonic, supertonic, mediant, etc, after a different class half a year later, the personalities (and genders) were very different. * (I don't believe this was mentioned) Someone, somewhere in the internet made a Hetalia OC, McFishy. He's not a country, he's the anthropomorphims of a McDonalds fish and chips that england created when he was lonely, see one example here http://saxitlurg.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d3axm96 * Like an above troper, this one is working on a moe anthropomorphism element... thing. Fluorine is a DeadpanSnarker/cynic (because she's so negative); Xenon is a top-hat wearing CuteMute. All of the other noble gases disapprove of their relationship on principle (noble gases aren't supposed to interact with commoners), except Argon, who pretends to object on the grounds of nobility but is actually [[CrackPairing just jealous]]. ---{{Trope Tan}} will take you back to MoeAnthropomorphism. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

MoebiusNeighborhood * This isn't impossible, as [[Tropers/FeoTakahari I]] can attest from personal experience, if on one side of your house there's a public park instead of another house. * It's also entirely possible that one set of neighbors will get involved with many of your affairs while the other one will dislike getting involved. {{Law of Conservation of Detail}} at work here--if the other set of neighbors are noninterventionists, there is no need to show them in any story aside from that they exist.

MomBringsMilkAndCookies * BlueByrd's mother [[ComedicSociopathy sent her younger daughter]], then nine years old, [[ItAmusedMe upstairs to ask if big sis and her boyfriend would like some crisps and juice]]. [[PrimalScene Big sis' room did not have a lock on it]]. [[{{Understatement}} Bit of a shock]] [[HeroicBSOD to all parties involved]]. * Even with a lock on the door, being interrupted for tea by her mother is a bit of a moment killer. * Subverted in this troper's case. At my girlfriend's house, we were in her room and had the door locked. Her mother assumed we were having sex, and barged in there. We weren't (the locked door was to keep the annoying dogs out). [[HilarityEnsues Hilarity Ensued]]... ** Hold on...She assumed you were having sex so barged through a locked door? This conjures up images of her mother kicking the door in just to catch her daughter in the act. That is [[IncrediblyLamePun Fucking terrifying.]] * This troper's mom will practically try and force feed his friends sandwiches or drinks every 20 minutes until they leave his house or gain 20 pounds. The time he had his girlfriend over... mental scarring for all 3 parties.

MomentKiller * This troper had this happen courtesy of her mother. Long story short, a girl she really liked had visited for a few days, and just as she was getting ready to leave and we were talking in the driveway it was becoming obvious that the feelings were mutual, so things naturally moved in the obvious direction towards a RelationshipUpgrade... and then her mother pulls in and chats for a few minutes about nothing, clearly not getting it. UGH. ** Given that said girl dumped me 10 months later, maybe it was a sign... * [[@/DragonMaster This troper]] was talking to a pair of his friends when he got called over by a third friend. The conversation between me and that friend went something like: -> '''Friend:''' Sit here. -> '''This troper:''' Why? -> '''Friend:''' Because you're ruining their time together. -> '''This troper:''' ... eh? -> '''Friend:''' They're going out, you idiot. -> '''This troper:''' They are? -> '''Friend:''' You didn't notice all the hugging and stuff? God you're dense. ** Happens constantly to this troper. Then he gets angry because (a) nobody informed him of the status change, and (b) he doesn't like it when people's statuses change. He was actually very happy for them because they make a perfect couple. * [[@/{{sgrunt}} This troper]] was [[ThroughHisStomach having lunch with]] [[StarCrossedLovers a girl]] when one of her friends spontaneously showed up, basically ruining the direction the occasion was headed in.

* Non-romantic example: [[@/{{Liangnui}} this troper]] once walked in when her father and her brother were having their first civil conversation in weeks. She was pretty sure she'd ruined any chance of them reaching a vaguely-positive point in their relationship, but they promptly left and headed into the garage to continue where they'd left off. This troper breathed a sigh of relief. * This troper loudly farted at a wedding. It wasn't on purpose. Honest. * Usually every damn time I try talking to someone... many frequent offenders include a dumbass that acts annoying as all hell, or one of my more... ehm... [[CloudCuckoolander estranged]] friends... * This is pretty much my job. I simply have the worst timing in the universe when it comes to friends' romantic interactions. * Yesterday, this troper was on the verge of a RelationshipUpgrade. I took the girl I'd been dating some roses, told her I liked her, and she reciprocated. But she already had plans with a friend that afternoon, and surprise! Her friend's another dude. [[HeroicBSOD Epic]] {{facepalm}}. ** How is that a facepalm worthy moment? * ThisTroper and her then new boyfriend were in a school bus in 8th grade, about to kiss for the first time, and... His friend popped over the back of the seat. The boy was in the aisle side seat, and he jerked back, and ThisTroper ended up slamming into the window. * I loved doing this to my best friend and her now-ex. Whenever they were about to kiss before class, I would stand a foot away, not blinking with a wide, disturbing grin on my face. They really didn't appreciate that. Another time, I had my computer playing a romantic song and they were snuggling... and I promptly switched the song to Caramelldansen. Yes, I was a prick, and I enjoyed every second of it. And no, I was not the reason they broke up. * This troper and her first boyfriend never got past chaste kissing because of moments like these. * For some reason, every time this troper gets on the bus with the girl he likes, someone sits directly in front of them and butts into the conversation. Considering they could easily be mistaken for boyfriend and girlfriend, this really makes no sense other than GenreSavvy people being [[JerkAss Jerk Asses]] or else just this troper's role as a CosmicPlaything. * [[@/MiraShio My]] experience of this trope is a DoubleSubversion -yeah, he and I had forgotten the existence of the rest of the world as we held a private and serious conversation, but it was in plain view of everyone because we were sitting in the school grounds. Despite all this, we managed to ignore my classmates shrieking from the third floor and carry out the conversation. The ''real'' MomentKiller came in the form of the school bus, which was a pity since I was supposed to go home at a much later time that day anyway. A RelationshipUpgrade ''did'' follow, though... * The girl [[@/{{Pita}} I'm]] in love with has a ton of friends, who apparently love to come and greet her while we're talking. * This troper and his girlfriend cuddle a lot. More than kissing, more than talking, more than anything. Every time they do that at his house though, his dog runs into wherever they are, waving her stupid

adorable tail around and jumps all over them into a near-death state. * I have witnessed two of them. 1: (non-romantic) One of my friends had one of those pairs of pants that rips when you yank them off, and she pulled them off (SHE HAD PANTS UNDERNEATH). But, they got stuck. Cue many a FacePalm. My response? "Way to kill a mood." ** Second one. My friend and her boyfriend were watching some guys play basketball. Me and another friend looked at each other. --> Me: Look at them all [[BuffySpeak Romantic-y]] over there. --> Friend: It's so cute... --> Me: Let's go kill the mood! --> Friend: NO! DON'T RUIN THIS FOR HER! ** Of course, this didn't stop me. But then the bell rang. * I've had this happen to me, but now I'm usually the perpetrator. Examples include: ** Being with my then-girlfriend in the janitor's room, hands in pants and all that. Enter the janitor. ** A couple I know were in the car making out when it started raining. I just walked over and took a nap on the back seat, while they started making nervous small talk. ** In the middle of the break-up talk with my last girlfriend, my phone rings. She had cheated on me and I was still pissed off, so I answered (classic MomentKiller). She was jealous enough to try oral sex to make me hang up. *** [[RapeIsOkayWhenItIsFemaleOnMale Wait,]] ''[[NoJustNo what?]]'' * Not a romantic example, but invoked by a Reese's Pieces of all things. My friend was eating candy and giving her standard I-Shall-BeA-World-Dictator speech to us. --> Friend: You will be defenseless against me! You shall soon feel the effects of me, and the bomb I implanted in your - *ACHKLACKLEACH*! ** Implanted in your ''what'', exactly? ** It says "In the ACHKLACKLEACH", [[CompletelyMissingthePoint though I don't know what that is...]] * [[@/ThisIsATest This troper]] talked to his girlfriend about [[FirstKiss kissing her]] at a high school dance. Although this [[MyGirlIsNotASlut wouldn't be her first kiss]], [[AvertedTrope it would be]] [[AManIsNotAVirgin his]], and it would be their first kiss together. He spent the whole night not sure of how to go about it, then, as the night was approaching its end, he dragged her outside onto the front steps. Just as the door shut behind them, however, it opened again, and out stepped his little brother, who was following him simply because he had ''nothing better to do''. The couple broke up before they were ever able to kiss. * This troper had this happen on a recent school trip. She had been hanging out with a guy who she'd been [[AllLoveIsUnrequited in love with for several years]]. After noticing that he was paying quite a bit of attention to her, she decided to [[AnguishedDeclarationOfLove confess]]. As it turns out, he liked her too (but wasn't quite ready to date yet due to a recent breakup). They were standing outside of the hotel where their group was staying, and it seemed like [[FirstKiss something]] was going to happen... and naturally his mother, who was a chaperone, immediately opened the door and began talking to him, completely oblivious to what was going on.

* This troper and her friends all are like this, shouting '''"GET SOME!"''' at the top of our lungs whenever one of our other friends is trying to [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean 'get some'.]] * ThisTroper once handed a pencil to a girl who was making out with her boyfriend in middle school. (It was next to the lockers, and she looked rather uncomfortable being pinned against the wall.) * ThisTroper was hanging out with the girl she liked, and the girl felt the same way but was VERY shy. I finally got her to be relaxed, brushed the hair out of her eyes, and then leaned in for a kiss when "DINNER'S READY!!" happened. This troper was not amused. * A non-romantic example: A friend and I rented and viewed TheLionKing for old time's sake. I watched miserably while Simba tried to wake up his dead father. -->Simba: HEEEEEELP! Somebody! -->Me: *wipes eyes* -->Friend: [[EliteBeatAgents Agents are...... GO!!!]] -->Me: *headdesk* ** Something similar happened to this troper when her autistic little brother commented on the scene using a Winnie the Pooh comment he'd twisted up: "Poor Dad. He seems rather dead." My mother and I didn't even try to keep straight faces. * This troper's [[IllGirl own body.]] Shots of random pain or sudden spasms (the latter of which are still to be medically explained) have all done their part to cause the cancellation of dates with her boyfriend, keep her from snuggling with her boyfriend, and keep her from [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean snuggling with her boyfriend.]] * This Troper is SurroundedByIdiots, full time. I was trying to have some time alone with my crush, but as he is TheHero in our [[FiveManBand 8-man band]], our friends ''just followed us around''. Nevermind the fact I had a Valentine's Day present in my hands and was trying to give it, but was too embarrassed to do it in public, and that ''99.9% of the guys already knew what I was trying to do, but followed us anyway''. * This is my speciality. Since I live with GlurgeAddict drama queens, it's not hard. * I admit to doing this to two people I know. But they act [[TastesLikeDiabetes very mushy]] and someone needs to break it up * This Troper and his girlfriend were cuddling. Her little brother joined in. * This troper does it sometimes. Yet the best example that he ever saw was when a classmate of his was trying to flirt with a freshwoman (though off that party, they don't have the best of relationships)... and a classmate of hers broke the moment by talking about the sticker that came with her bubblegum! * Me and a group of friends were camping. We had a very big tent (and I do mean big. As in, made for 20 people, big), and at one point in the evening, it was practically abandoned as almost everyone was outside by the campfire. The only people in the tent were me, my almost-boyfriend... and another friend who apparently didn't realise that she was killing the moment. I have no idea how she didn't realise that, however, because ''everyone'' had known for ''months'' that we liked each other. Really, the RelationshipUpgrade was only a formality

at that point. And it did happen about a month later, in a room full of people, no less. * This troper's friend was slow-dancing with the guy she liked, when they were distracted by another pair of friends (who were previously completely unattracted to each other) making out in the middle of the dance floor. Luckily, they recovered from the shock and kept dancing for quite some time after the song ended. * This troper is a dedicated student of the delicate art of Moment Assassination, but does usually knows [[EvenEvilHasStandards where to draw the line]]. That said, it's still amusing to [[DeadpanSnarker make sarcastic quips]] during [[TearJerker emotional scenes]] in movies. * This troepr was listening to a beautiful Yiruma song (specifically ''Dreams'') on [=YouTube=]...and then her mom screamed at her to close the windows because it was raining. * This troper was at prom, slow-dancing to the last song of the night with his [[LikeBrotherAndSister platonic best friend]]. It was great. It could have even been romantic, bar two things: [[DefiedTrope Our conscious effort NOT]] to [[JustFriends let it go that far]] and...the mutual (female) friend of ours who decided to latch on to us and remain there, a third wheel, for most of the song (after she had done similarly to a couple we all know). ---Thanks for ruining the moment between me and MomentKiller. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

MomentOfAwesome * This male ShrinkingViolet has a huge crush on a classmate/fellow anime enthusiast/fellow hyperactive random person, and she knows it. She has a boyfriend, so he couldn't exactly ask her out on a date. The first time he saw her on facebook over summer vacation, he chatted with her, and asked her to hang out. She said yes, and he basically spasmed from sheer joy. Seeing as he's never hung out with anyone in the two years he's lived in this town, it's pretty awesome for him. * This troper's most recent incredibly awesome moment was realising that I could look at my ex best friend without a certain sensation of pain and desire. * As usual, this troper had a lightbulb die on her while her flatmate was away. It was above the bathroom sink, so I removed my shoes, leaving them at the door to the bathroom, hopped up on the toilet and crawled over to the fixture and removed/changed it. After I stepped down with the burnt-out bulb, it slipped from my fingers to smash on the floor. I stood looking down at the broken glass spread out over the floor (with a fragment in one of my shoes), and then performed a pseudo-ballet routine across the floor, pirouetting en pointe until I reached my shoes. I put the right one on, and balanced on that foot until I removed the glass from the other shoe. Not quite BlackSwan, but awesome all the same! * This troper spent THE WHOLE of school being bullied IN BOTH WAYS

from kindergarten to year thirteen, all day every day. after 14 years of this on my last day in year 13, 12th grade for Americans, the last year of school, on the last day, I was about to leave when one of the bullies ripped up the picture of a companion cube I keep inside my locker blu-tacked on the door, that was the LAST STRAW, the entire gang of bullies was there, all 5 of them. I was so angry I did a flying somersault kick and punch AT THE SAME TIME into one of their heads, then I unleashed a cranial upper cut and triple nut kick to the next one, then I grabbed one and shut my locker door on his head repeatedly, then I jumped off a table to a height that I have never jumped before onto the penultimate one's head, then I unleashed the last of my fury on the last guy (the one who euthanised my faithful companion cube more quickly that any other bully on record) and beat him senseless. they were reduced to crying heaps, damn that felt good. ** That's not only a [[Crowning Moment of Awesome]], but a "Crowning Moment of Revenge", if you ask me. You. Are. AMAZING. ** [[SpiderMan "Can I like, carry your books? Forever?]] * One day, This Troper and her friends were at a sports rally. I was having a bad morning, and the fact that I was sitting near the school's well-known {{Bitch in Sheeps Clothing}} just made the whole thing worse. Well, the cheerleaders start throwing beads into the crowd. Even though I knew I wasn't going to get a string of beads, I half-heartedly put my hand up in a feeble attempt to catch a string of beads. I then managed to barely catch a string of beads with my pinky. It made my day better and I was in awe about it for the rest of the day. * This troper had one that I thought was awesome (giving the circumstances) the other day in gym class. This one kid was standing next to me and he textbooked me (read knocked my books out of my hands) and my P.O.S. folder fell a part and all my stuff fell on the floor. Here's where the awesome part comes in, I was about to pick my stuff up but then most of the kids in the room (including a few of the kids that didn't like me that much) came over and made the kid pick up my stuff! May not sound like much but it was awesome for me! * In the current events club at my school, I sent in the article to be discussed that week, then proceeded to absolutely destroy it in analysis and argument, leaving the rest of the room scared to speak. Best part? My crush was in the room. * [[Tropers/NTroper This Troper]] was bullied at school for the entire 3rd and 4th grades. Of course, [[AdultsAreUseless no one that was supposed to help did anything.]] At the last day of class at 4th grade, I was ambushed by the bullies. One bully had me in a Full Nelson and the other two were coming to give me the last beating of the year. My response? Wait for the two guys to get close enough, headbutt the bully who was holding me right in the nose,''hard'', breaking free of the Full Nelson and knock out the other two guys who where caught offguard with [[OneHitKill one punch]] each.So in response to the [[TurnTheOtherCheek "don't hit them. talk to them. try to befriend them."]] stuff that was dished out every time I tried to tell any adult about the bullies? I can only say that words just won't do it to certain people. * This Troper's Grandmother was very good friends with a nun who was a

patient advocate at a hospital. This nun had a LOT of influence. When Troper's Grandmother was in the hospital dying, she was supposed to get a drug for congestion. An hour later, and she hadn't got it. When the nun found out, she called the staff who should have been getting the drugs into the room and [[TheReasonYouSuckSpeech verbally]] [[CurbStompBattle curb-stomped them.]] It was epic. * This Troper, while on the Quick Recall (think quiz bowl) team in middle school, was watching a game when the moderator asked a question along the lines of what disease causes abnormal blood cells that don't carry enough oxygen. A kid on the opposing team buzzes in and confidently responds "Sickle-cell Anemia!" only to be wrong. Then a girl on my team buzzes in and meekly says "Anemia." She was right. That tied up the game. ** This troper has a quiz bowl story of his own to share. The moderator asked a question under the Mathematics category, and began "1000 plus 20 plus...". This troper immediately buzzed in and said 4100 before he had gotten halfway through the question. The moderator just stared at our team for two straight minutes, and then slowly said "...that is correct". Epic high fives all around, and people are still telling this story 4 years later. * This troper's Moment of Awesome happened in 6th grade. This troper is shy and quiet (even more so back then), so she has rarely given an enemy a mouthing-off even when they deserved it. She was assigned to a school project with a Nice Girl and a Mean Girl. We were making a brochure about the Mayans. Each group member had to do 2 sections of the brochure. Mean Girl hadn't completed her sections, so she took the brochure home the day before it was due. Before school the morning it's due, Mean Girl hands this troper the brochure and this troper discovered this troper's picture of Mayan nobles (under the Society section) was removed by Mean Girl and labeled as Mean Girl's picture (under the Government section, what was even more wall-banging was all the rest of Mean Girl's pictures were in black and white and this troper's pic was in color). This troper put the picture back in its proper place and went up to Mean Girl in front of all of her friends and told her off. * In my 8th grade year I moved to Dubai for roughly six months and I was frequently exposed to the profanities of my fellow students hurled at everyone (all in Arabic, Lebanese, and Iranian I might add) I only consciously picked up two.\\ However in my senior year at high school, this freshman was mouthing off and something in me just snapped. I proceeded to go on a 6 minute rant at him composed almost entirely of Arabic, Iranian, and Lebanese profanities I had (and still have) no memory of ever consciously picking up. I must say, it was very therapeutic. ** That's probably the coolest thing I've ever heard of anyone doing. Now if only I could manage the same with German, Italian, Russian, and Icelandic... *** Write them down? * Last year I went out with a sophomore girl for junior prom. Now the thing about my school is that dating or even being good friends with someone in a lower grade than you is looked down upon, so it's no surprise when the resident ass of Junior year and my personal demon

comes up to us and and starts insulting both of us. My date was already a shrinking violet, and I knew hearing all that would make her feel terrible so I responded as follows. "Tell me, are you here with anyone (he wasn't)? Exactly, so first of all apologize to (Troper's date) and get your scared, skinny, lonely ass out of my bloody sight." Felt like a badass for the rest of the night. * This is something my grandfather witnessed during WWII in the Navy. During an bombing run by the Japanese, a torpedo actually landed on the deck of his ship. It didn't explode, just hopped skipped and bounced before hitting a plane on the deck. So, two sailors walk up to this possibly deadly device, and just roll it off the side of the ship. Then they just walked away like nothing happened. Needless to say my grandfather thought it was awesome. * I consider making [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZuGgkl7B9Eo&feature=BF&list=UL_YHhtu3 _EJ8&index=16 this]] Spider-man fan trailer a personal Moment of Awesome, * There are two in this case. When I was in 6th/7th grade at a Catholic High school down in North Carolina I was picked on constantly by bullies because I was (and still am) leftist, Liberal, Bisexual, and Agnostic (my parents wanted me to go and I didnt want to disappoint them). Now Im not a raging Agnostic, I kept most views to myself and only shred them when I was asked to. And no one knew I was Bi. However one day when I was finished doing a speech on Homosexual rights, a group of bullies being led by the local skinhead, decided to make me their next target. So after days of homophobic remarks, verbal abuse, physical violence and the like, I decided to fight back. Now Im a very pacifistic person. I usually try any means besides violence to get out of a situation, but on that day, I grabbed Brandon (the leader) by the throat and tore off his swastika-necklace and punched him in the face. Luckily for some reason they didnt retaliate then. The next day on the bus I saw the gang of bullies approaching me, ready to get revenge. Right before that though (and heres where the second moment happens) the bus driver, Russ, intervened. Now Russ and me never saw eye to eye.]] He was a 68 year old Vietnam net, conservative born-again Christian, basically in every way my opposite. But when the skin-heads were about to pummel me he stood up, turned around, and told them (and I quote): ..Hey! Assholes! Yeah you! If you dont sit the fuck down and leave him the fuck alone right now, I swear to God, I will come over there kick your ass so fucking hard that youll have to sit on your motherfucking head for the next six weeks, because of the pain!!! They never bothered me again. And when I was getting off Russ told me, that if anyone bothers me again, to tell him and hell take care of it. ** Also doubles as a [=CMoA=] for ''you.'' ;-) * This troper has apparently made two people enjoy life. The first one was an acquaintence of mine that I didn't know very well (I was good friends with his sister). He was one of those people who really don't see their life as good. But one day, he was expressing his general depression to me because I was in the room (at school), so I told him my philosophy on life. He was a happier person by the end of the hour,

and the teacher commented on how awesome that was, at which point he said that it was my unprepared blather. He is still a much happier person. The second person is slightly more strange of a relationship. We started talking a few months ago, and then she told me recently that I made her much happier and that I was the only person in her life that she trusted. We do not know each others' names. * This troper feels that she had a kind of book-geek [=CMoA=] in the library earlier this year. She found a book in her school library knowing 1) the color of the cover 2) the title looks the same upside down and right side up and 3) the author's name was in the A-C range. ** This book wouldn't happen to be ''Abarat'', would it? If it is, I'd like to nominate this as one of my Mild Moments of Awesome. ** This troper applauds you, because that is so not easy. I used to work in a book store, and have on occasion found "That book with the black cover about fairies", and "The one about that football team." * This troper was sitting with several of his various friends, acquaintances, and enemies during lunch at our predominately Jewish school. Someone was talking about their upcoming Barmitzvah. We ended up getting on to a discussion of religion and one of my friends asked me what my religion was. I told him I was Atheist. He looked at me for a second and said, "Wow, <troper>, I knew you were cynical, but I never thought you'd go that far..." I asked him what he meant. He then launched into the most intolerant, insensitive lecture about how atheists were demons, I was evil, I was doomed to hellfire, I didn't have a soul, how I knew god existed but didn't what to admit it or I'd be punished for my sins, etc. I picked up my lunch and moved to an empty table across the cafeteria. The real moment of awesome? Everyone sitting at that table (friends, enemies and all) picked up their stuff and followed me, leaving the jerk behind. And I was the only atheist there. ** Wow. That guy really failed. * This troper saw a good one on the bus; the middle school shares a bus with the one that takes my route, so I was watching this (probably) eighth-grader talking to a younger kid, who clearly wanted nothing to do with him. As the ride continued, the eighth-grader starts talking loud enough to be overheard, and is basically needling the younger boy to get him to get mad and start trouble, and begins poking him in the arm and calling him unflattering sexually-based epithets. Right as I was debating whether or not I should get involved, one of the girls from the elementary school came up and sat next to the boy being picked on and said, "Don't worry-- boys only do that when they have a crush on you." The bully looked at her and said, "That's for ''girls'', dumbass." And she looked him square in the eye and said, "Yeah, for most guys. For you, I'm not so sure." That was so awesome I had to move up and bump knuckles with her. And the bully didn't bother anyone else for the rest of the ride. * [[{{Tropers/Rashrules}} This troper]] had a particularly awesome [[PhoenixWright Phoenix Wright]]-ish moment in real life. On the message board for 'Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth' on GameFAQS, this troper posted a mock-trial comment in a joke topic on

how another user was "guilty for a misspelling". This troper got a response at that, from a person who was playing the aforementioned user's Defense Attorney. It suddenly '''turned into an epic roleplay with both of us exchanging evidence and trying to win the case.''' But it wasn't the first one. There's a second case underway too! Here are the links to the topic, so you can witness it first-hand. ** '''[[http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/genmessage.php?board=945812&topic= 53801533 Case 1:]]''' The defendant mnkboy907 is taken to court, and it seems like the trial is in the bag. But it seems like the defense attorney, Voltgloss, is going to be hard to beat! Scroll down and look at the longer posts by the users 'rashrules' and 'Voltgloss'. You might have to go to the next pages if you're a guest. ** '''[[http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/genmessage.php?board=945812&topic= 54254361 Case 2:]]''' This time, Dypo is taken to court for the same crime as mnkboy907. But it turns out that he's going to be his own attorney in the trial! Little do the onlookers realize that a shocking twist is in store for them! The posts with the roleplay should be apparent, it only starts a few posts in. * Not exactly MY Moment of Awesome, but still a story worth telling: Anyone from my old speed-code team would recall a certain image that [[{{Tropers/Fishsicles}} This Troper]] sent to the team as TheAce c7dba came in to finish up. [[http://gundam.wikia.com/wiki/File:TransAm_System_2.jpg Here is the relevant link.]] After some lulz were had (these were the guys who got me into ''Gundam'' in the first place), c7 decided to take off the kid gloves and go from the standard one hundred keystrokes per minute ([[BadAss this guy is GOOD]]) to [[color:red:about three hundred]] for the remaining few seconds. The rest of us finished the script not long after c7 left to get an ice pack and "[[INeedAFreakingDrink painkiller]]".* * My grandfather definitely counts. Operation Overlord, on Omaha beach. he was landing was shot and killed. the marines through the landing. As He piloted a landing boat during The radio operator for the group He takes up the radio and follows a sailor. He was a badass.

* This troper and his friend have, in WorldOfWarcraft, taken to 2manning the 5-man dungeons for an extra challenge. We had a Paladin/Hunter duo which managed to clean house in the Scarlet Monastery, and we recently started a new team that have just finished Shadowfang Keep. At level 20 each, we managed to make it all the way to the end without difficulty, but hit a brick wall with Arugal himself; no matter what we tried to do, his stuns and the wolf transformation just kept tearing us apart. We finally managed to beat him by staying alive for so long we ''ran him out of mana'', then took him down in hand-to-hand combat. ** [[{{Tropers/Wuumaster}} This Troper]] and his buddy do similar things - took a Paladin/Warlock through SFK at 22 (Killed Arugal using

LOS to interrupt his Voidbolt casts), Druid/Mage to clear Hellfire Ramparts and Blood Furnace @ Lv63 (Frost has way too many root effects). It's arguably more fun than just cruising through the place in a full 5-man group, though it does take longer. * This troper had one. My brother, who was in 1st grade (I was in preschool) had to read a children's book to our parents as homework one night. I sat between him and my mother, correcting him when he mispronounced something and helping him with words he stumbled over. It was the first time anyone realized I could read, since I hadn't been taught. ** This troper had a similar one. According to legend, no one knew that I could read until I brought a Dr. Seuss book to my mother and read it aloud to her. ''Flawlessly.'' Now, she normally read these books aloud to me, and we had videotapes that were pretty much readalongs for the books, but the one I picked was one we did not have a video for. And because we did not have a video for it, it was rarely read to me. No one, myself included, has any idea how I did that. * Well, this troper just had a speech just today in his class. It was an interview, and since the teacher didn't like me all that much, she made me do it even though I had no idea who the hell the kid was, since I had been gone for the last week with the flu. So, I stand up there, the kid sits down next to me, and I realize I have no speech, no notecards, absolutely no information about this kid except his name, and I had to talk for five minutes. I stood up there, and basically just said "Fuck it." I then began to tell a riveting story about how this kid had been hunting polar bears in Siberia (carefully noting that I wasn't sure they even were in Siberia mid-speech) and then went on to hunt progressingly larger polar bears until he stole a rocket from NASA and began ramming SPACE polar bears with said rocket. My speech ended up being seven minutes long, and I got an A due to my class laughing their asses off so hard, and convincing the teacher I did the best I could have, considering the circumstances. It was pretty epic. * I went one to 29 in a classroom debate on nurture verses nature. I choose nature. Nurture is easier. Cue 30 minuets of anyone from the opposition trying to come up with an argument. Add insult to injury, right before the debate ended, I told them like math that debate is a WEAK subject of mine. Cue displays of shock and jaw droppings * This story needs some set-up, so please bear with me. This troper is known in her high school as the smart stoic chick who, at worst, will unleash her DeadpanSnarker side on you. She also happens to be in a class of sociopathic gits. Now I (first person from now on) was in social studies and the class was debating on whether Roma Gypsies should be able to take refuge in the UK. Each side had good points untill one racist jackass decided that Gypsies are sub-human. So, they stood up in front of the class listing why gypsies have ruined Britain and how they deserved to die. Something inside me snapped and I stood up, calmly walked to the front of the class and unleashed a calm fury

on the racist jackass. My rant lasted twenty minutes and the teacher didn't intervine, he just smiled as I was the only one to defend gypsies. The racist didn't reply as it is the ''only'' time I have ever shown massive amounts of anger in public. The best part? I'm a white thirteen year old. I don't think I've ever been so Goddamned proud of myself. ** *hands you a medal and organizes a parade float in your honor* THAT, my friend, is one of the best stories I have read on this page. * Last year, my school did a stage version of ThePrincessBride, and I was cast as Miracle Max. I was told by pretty much everyone, from rehearsals to the final show, that I was the show stealer. {{Tropers/Amitai}} * While playing ''GrandTheftAutoIV'', this troper got stuck on a mission called "The Snowstorm", having trouble escaping the cops and getting off the small island. While trying to find the on-ramp to the bridge, I ended up surrounded by police cars on a cliff by the side of the road, in a car that was on fire. I then exited the car and jumped over the cliff into the water, just barely escaping the car exploding. Getting shot by water police twenty seconds later did nothing to dampen the Awesome. * This troper's high school concert band his junior year did 1812 Overture. Not some pansy abridged version. The whole monster of a song (arranged for to account for saxes and no strings). The drummers were trying to see who could break a drum head first on the bass drums we were using as cannons. The winds felt like their lungs were going to explode. And we nailed it. It was the only time ever there was a standing ovation after any song minus the final one of the night for any concert band performance I did. * This troper was playing Turbine (Capture the flag) in {{Team Fortress 2}}. While I was listening to my team form a plan to rush the enemy base and get the Intel, I snuck in through the vents as a heavy. I dropped down into the intel room and no one was there. Cue grabbing the intel and running like hell. On my way out, my team was rushing in for the charge. They see this heavy with the intel, start laughing, then let me cap it while being covering me from all sides. * This Troper's uncle had his in Vietnam when he earned the Navy Cross. For those who aren't aware, that is precisely one step below the Medal of Honor when earned by a Marine. He described the event as starting when he and two of his buddies hitched a ride with an Army transport. This transport is meant to hold a total of fifteen people including the driver, but with he and his buddies sitting on the back bumper, it held eighteen. The truck ran over a mine of some sort, blowing it to kingdom come and sending Uncle Bob flying through the air. He woke up a day later, face and body sticky with blood-apparently, he had been concussed so badly, he began bleeding through every orifice. I'm putting emphasis so you realize exactly how horrifying this must have been: He was bleeding out of /every

orifice/. Yes, even those ones "down there". After getting to his feet, he began to stumble down the trail they were taking, when he noticed a trail of dried blood and the sound of moaning; he found one of his buddies, who'd lost one of his arms. He cauterized the wound by draining gunpowder from several rifle bullets, rubbing it into the stump and lighting it. He supported the man as they continued, finding another bloody trail and what looked like marks from a makeshift crutch--the third guy had lost his leg. Again, the wound was cauterized, and the three of them continued. Uncle Bob brought the other two men back, even though they were crippled, and succeeded in saving all their lives. Uncle Bob is a Determinator. Uncle Bob took more than a bullet for his friends. And Uncle Bob is, by no means, a man to be fucked with. * While playing TalesOfSymphonia My sister and I were fighting the final Sword Dancer hile we were slightly underleveled and understocked. we were able to get him low in health with raine and zelos healing and my sister (lloyd) tanking while I (Genis) indignation spammed. The main problem were spells that kept killing Zelos and Raine until we ran out of life bottles. After Raine died for the final time I entered overlimit, unaware due to this being our first playthrough that I had a LimitBreak. My sister noticed something odd and the conversation went like this: -->'''Sister''': Is your circle supposed to be white? I thought thunder spells were purple? -->'''Me''': *just noticing the change* Thats weird, I dont have any light spe- *Genis interrupts us* -->'''Genis''': I'll Show You Your Powerlessness... Indignation Judgment!!! *sword dancer dies* * This troper had a Moment of Awesome playing [[TalesoftheAbyss Tales of the Abyss]] with my older brother. We were getting [[CurbStompBattle bent over a barrel]] by [[DifficultySpike Hard Mode]] Largo and Sync. We took down Sync, but Largo gave us a run for our money, killing us to the point where we had no more Life Bottles. It was only my brother (Tear), myself (Jade) a [[{{YouCanBarelyStand}} half-dead]] Luke, and an all-dead Guy. It got to the point where [[ICantTakeItAnymore I couldn't take it anymore.]] I [[HeroicResolve made a bee-line]] straight for the mother fucker, used Jade's Thunder Lance, and as Largo wound up for a [[FinishingMove kill hit]] on me, I yelled "[[HeroicSacrifice I]] [[BittersweetEnding REGRET]] [[StockPhrases NOTHIIIIING!!!"]] Only to find out that the move I used to only chip away whatever health he had actually ended up killing him. I was too shocked, confused and amazed to realize that we won, and that I leveled up 3 times from that battle. * [[{{Tropers/ziggerfreud}} this troper's]] [[MamaBear mom]] recently told him about a crowning moment of awesome she had during one of her days in league bowling, when one of the members of the other team made a [[{{understatement}} kinda]] sexist remark: -->(asshole): "What is the ugliest part of a man?" [[spoiler:[[MoralEventHorizon you]]]]

::The members of the other team were like [[DudeNotFunny not cool]] when that happened, so mom went away, bought drinks and came back at the asshole with this response: -->(mom): "Do you know why men like big tits & tight pussies?" [[spoiler: "Cause they have big mouths and small dicks"]] ::The other members of the asshole's team laughed thier asses off. Personally I think mom's retort is only slightly less sexist, [[ItMakesSenseInContext but it was awesome and hilarious at the moment]]: * This troper used to be the best in his circle of friends at Guitar Hero, until he left for Army basic training. Now it is his friend. His friend who, every single time he plays Reptilia on Rock Band, walks around the house, chatting to whoever hasn't seen the trick yet, and all around not looking at the screen even once. Needless to say, he's yet to be beat by anybody in town. ** This happened in a [[MutantsandMasterminds M+M]] campaign, while our usual [[KillerGameMaster GM]] was away, and [[TheRoleplayer one of the players]] was in charge. The [[JusticeLeagueOfAmerica Freedom League]] had turned evil, and were planning to destroy the heroes, as well as the city. Being recently possessed by [[BigBad an Evil God]], and retaining the power-up to [[DarkisNotEvil my Darkness power]] this troper knew [[TheLoonie I could handle it myself]]. The following events went something like this: ---> Me: What is Freedom Hall made out of? ---> GM: Uhh... It's MadeOfIndestructium. Toughness is 40. ---> Me: (talking to teammate) Ignis, get out of here. ---> Ignis: Okay. What are you doing? ---> Me: I walk out of Freedom Hall, disintegrating it behind me. It takes 4 rounds. ---> GM: Let me see your sheet. (looks it over, starts laughing and shaking his head) Alright, Freedom Hall is now a pile of sand. :::That's right, Troper pulled a TotalPartyKill on [[RocksFallEveryoneDies the GM-controlled NPCs]] Many lulz and high fives were given.: * [[Tropers/LoveIsWeird This troperette]] and her friend Kaycee (ADHD girl) have an odd habit of carrying around toy guns and knives, and pointy umbrellas. Now, one rainy day, this guy walks up to us and says "Gimme your money and everything else you got on you or I will shoot your brains out" in Tagalog. I have the tendency to speak big words when mad, so: --> Me: I do not believe you will. My friend and I shall now continue our journey to our residence. ::Dude won't believe me. He whips out his knife and snarls, "Don't joke" in Tagalog again. Keep in mind, Kay and I carry around toy guns and knives and pointy umbrellas. Guess what we both did? Yep. Kaycee whipped out a toy knife and gun while I just started poking him with my umbrella. We kept it up till we turned him in at the police station, where Kay said this priceless line: --> Kaycee: Thanks for playing! We were wondering what to do with these toys. Ooo, is that a cell?

::The guy is now in jail and crying over the fact that he got tricked by a girl wielding toys and poked all over by a girl with a pointy umbrella: ** Aren't you the person who mentioned making a teacher laugh really hard with a organised crime comment before he put you on detention on the RunningGag page? Either way, I'm nominating you and your friend for a Made Of Win. * I posted my life story on the Tearjerkers page, and someone responded that I deserved a Moment of Awesome. I'm not really sure if I do, but here goes: I have been bullied most of my life for being different then the other kids, I have been pressured by my mother to be the first one in my family to go to college, every girl I've ever asked out has wanted to be 'just friends', I was ignored by my grandmother the first few years of my life, I was mentally abused by a babysitter I had to go to everyday, I was raped twice, once by one of my mothers boyfriends, the other at church camp by a boy who said he'd be my friend if I let him do it, I'm schizophrenic with two '''very''' loud voices in my head, one good and one bad, I've been pretty much crapped on my whole life, I've contemplated suicide many time, but despite all that, '''I'M STILL HERE'''! And I think I'm going to be here for a very long time! ** As a survivor of emotional abuse I have to say one thing. You deserve the MOA. ** Thank you. *Tears up* Thank you very much! ** This troper considers you a Crowning Person of Awesome. ** As does this one. That is a truly amazing story. ** You've got my vote for Crowning Troper of Awesome! * I'm a fairy quiet person, and I watch WAY too many movies about sports. So one day, I go t my own High School teams footballgame, and we're losing. Well, franly, I'm tired of seeing the score so low, d figuring I have nothing else to lose, I walk to the front of the crowd, and start to bet my feet on the gound. I began to sing "We Will Rock You" by Queen. The rest of the crowd started to join in. Like a good old hollywood cliche, we WON. I know it's not awesome compared to the AWESOME stories on this pagebut dammit, this one made me feel GOOD. ** Using the power of rock to make your team win? AWESOME. * (Cross-posted from TroperTales/HeartwarmingMoments) Last year, a friend of mine went through a ''nasty'' breakup, and was understandably quite miserable when he came on IM that day. I did my best to cheer him up, and he went to bed feeling a bit better. It was only much later that I found out at the time our conversation had taken place, he had a loaded revolver in his lap. I'd talked him out of putting a bullet through his head. * This troper joined a college anime club on his first year. Looked easy... until the day of the initiation rites where, in order to be considered a full-fledged member, must re-enact a scene from any anime in mind. What this troper did? He danced the [[{{SgtFrog}} "Afro Gunso"]], complete with some pelvic spinning. Chiri chiri, jori jori baby!

* This Troper's Moment of Awesome came a few months back. This Troper - who will now speak in first-person - is a senior in high school. I like to think of myself as a nice guy, quiet, don't say much. I decide to enter the school talent show, with my talent being "accents". The night of the show comes around, and as I'm sitting beside the stage with the rest of the performers, I hear the announcer declare, "Next up on stage is [Troper's name], the man of a thousand voices!". So I just out-of-the-blue decide to leap onto the stage, waving the "horned hands" gesture around and calling out to the audience. I do my bit telling jokes I prepared and speaking in funny accents - and everybody in the audience is roaring with laughter. Perhaps as a result of watching too many stand-up comedians, I say something, thank the audience and bound off the stage proudly. During the interval, everyone's telling me that I did well (whether or not they were just being nice, I don't really know). The best part? I came into school the next day later than usual (I overslept), and the minute I walk into class, the whole room starts to cheer. One guy, in his usual over-the-top manner, even ran up and yelled, "I LOVE YOU, [Troper's name]!". From then on, a good deal of the younger students knew me as "the funny guy". A minor victory, but damn, I felt good that day. * I'm a fairy quiet person, and I atch WAY too many movies about sports. So one day, I go t my own High School teams footballgame, and we're losing. Well, franly, I'm tired of seeing the score so low, d figuring I have nothing else to lose, I walk to the front of the crowd, and start to bet my feet on the gound. I began to sing "We Will Rock You" by Queen. The rest of the crowd started to join in. Like a good old hollywood cliche, we WON. I know it's not awesome compared to the AWESOME stories on this pagebut dammit, this one made me feel GOOD. * This troper had one just today, though it's arguably not ''that'' awesome. We were running the mile today in PE, and though I'm normally lazy in this class, for some reason I really wanted to pass it on the first official run. On my last lap I was nearly delirious and hardly running at all because I was so tired (and not in the greatest shape for running), almost sure I was going to experience a true HeroicRROD. When I heard my gym teacher start counting down to the end of the time limit (11 minutes), I immediately ignored that and ran as fast as I possibly could while ''Never Gonna Give You Up'' and ''Row Row Fight The Power'' played in my head simultaneously. I finished just before my teacher stopped counting and passed the mile in ten minutes fiftyeight seconds. I treated myself to sitting in the stands and clapping sarcastically when my much less motivated acquaintances finished later. * This Troper just had on of these. In Daytona USA. Three Seven Speedway. On a 20 lap race. With the AUTOMATIC Hornet. For those who don't know, Auto Hornet means you have the same Top Speed (w/o drafting) that the 1st car, and you can't do the 4-1-4 drifting; you actually need to brake (thus making you go slower). Lap 20 starts. The AI car passed me on Turn 1, then I regained my 1st position by Turn 2. Cue slowdown, as they both approach Turn 3, '''side by fuckin'

side''': I do a text-book brake drift on the inside lane, blocking the AI car with my trunk. I cross the finish lane in '''1st'''. Yep. I just won the race. With the Auto Hornet. * This troper witnessed a Moment of Awesome in the ninth grade from his friend (first person). My friend , who got picked on sometimes by some douche who thought he was PrettyFlyForAWhiteGuy, but never got in an actual fight with him. One day though in gym, he was complaining to me about the bully. The bully overheard us saying his name, swaggered over to us and said something like "You nerds talkin' about me?" my friend, very calmly got up and said "Yeah, yeah we were. You see I think that even though you act like a tough guy, you're a poser whose never hit anyone in his life. But if you want to prove me wrong then go right ahead, hit me." There was a pause "What?" the bully said. "I'm saying that if you want to prove that you're as tough as you say you are, then hit me, right now, hit me in the face.". You're crazy" the bully said. "What makes you say that?" my friend said. "Becuase you want me to punch me in the face.", the bully said. "What? No no no no, that WOULD be crazy. Who would want to get punched in the face? I said that because I don't think that you're gonna do it, I'm just offering the chance to prove me wrong.", my friend very coolly replied. The bully, not wanting to be made a fool of by a known nerd, made a feeble attempt at a punch to the nose. My friend immediately retaliated with two punches to the jaw, then a knee to the stomach, then tossed him down and pummeled the bully's face about 4-6 times. Then got up, spat on his shirt, then walked away, all before any teachers could break it up. * This troper successfully cheered up his friend and maybe even changed her whole worldview...by explaining things using the philosophical system of ''Main/JadeEmpire''. * This troper joined a college anime club on his first year. Looked easy... until the day of the initiation rites where, in order to be considered a full-fledged member, must re-enact a scene from any anime in mind. What this troper did? He danced the [[{{SgtFrog}} "Afro Gunso"]], complete with some pelvic spinning. Chiri chiri, jori jori baby! * This troper's best friend went to a party a while back. The theme was the letter J, so she went as the Joker and scared the fuck out of everyone there. (I wasn't there, for the record). Apparently she kept popping up next to people holding a pencil and asking them if they wanted to see a trick. * This troper isn't quite sure which place to put this or even if it qualifies as one but here it is. This troper has a funny talent to avert dethroning moments of suck, even turning them into crowning moments of awesome. One example was once I was walking down a steep hill carrying a long board when some little punk on a skateboard zipped passed me so in a moment of extreme competitiveness. I rode down after him. Unbeknown to me at the time the long board I rode was notoriously bad at high speeds (it was my flat mate's) and when I was about half way down it wobbled and suddenly flew out from under my

feet. I fell back but before I hit the ground I smashed my elbows onto the tarmac and somehow propelled myself into a agile forward roll which was finished into a crouch. Just in time to see my board collide into a wall. I only got a slight graze on my shoulder and I was going quite fast. I then got up nonchalantly and walked down the hill to retrieve my board, it took me a few seconds to realize that everyone of my fellow pedestrians around were frozen and staring at me in abstract shock. But heres the clincher I did that when wearing a huge bag on my shoulders which weighed at least eight kilos and it was full of squash-able food items and somehow they came out of it completely, utterly intact. ** You fell off your skateboard going down a hill but turned it into a somersault while not crushing the bag of crushable food on your back?! You are amazing! * This troper (gonna do the rest of this in 1st person) was the fat kid through most of his school career. Middle school was a particularly bad time to be the fat kid. Anyway, there was a particular gang of kids who had been held back a year or two, and they liked to give me a hard time. Though I bit back with some wit from time to time, it got to the point where one time, in the cafeteria, one of them made a crack and I hopped up at the challenge, iliciting applause from pretty much the entire table. Later, same bully accosted me in the bathroom between classes. He shoved me, I shoved back. He threw a punch... I caught his fist, in my hand, looked him in the eye, shoved him backwards using his arm as a pivot, and connected with a [[AwesomeButImpractical tornado kick]] to the face, knocking him out cold. And here I thought that I would NEVER get to use such an obviously flashy, showy move in a fight. * A few years ago, I troper was selected to represent my institute for a literary debate between various high schools. I had just had an argument with my best friend, so I was utterly sad, and the girl designated to speak before me had just earned herself an applause. Then I got a text from my best friend, who sat on the other side of the room and couldn't get to me before I made it to the stage. It read: "Use every single obsolete word you know of, and kick her ass. I know you can." This was HIS Moment of Awesome, and mine followed when I took the microphone and delivered a flawless ten-minutes speech, using words that most of the adult audience had not heard in years, improvising it from scratch after deciding that the one my teacher helped me write wasn't good enough. Cue a standing ovation, my teacher's jaw dropping in awe, and my friend making it trough the crowd to hug me. * [[{{Tropers/Anima}} This troper]] with Asperger's Syndrome was told throughout high school by her special ed teacher (who can be found in the the Sadist Teacher entry) that she would be better off forgetting about college and going on vocational training. This troper managed to, over the course of her two final years in high school, become one of the most popular kids in school, attend her school prom, finish with a 3.87 GPA in the top 10% of all graduating seniors that year,

AND get her high school diploma. She is also one semester away from getting her Associate of Arts degree which is needed for her future education which culminates in law school. ** A friend of this troper's was in high school drama club. Said troper's friend is from Scotland. The big play for that semester happened to be Macbeth. The student playing the lead role had abruptly changed schools. The drama club director's first move was to move this troper's friend into the lead spot from the part of one of the Wyrd Sisters. Yeah, you heard right. Macbeth was played by a girl. According to the rest of drama club, she wasn't half bad. * Remember that teacher from SadistTeacher and the above troper with Asperger's Syndrome? He's not very tech-savvy. Safe to say this troper is. He was having trouble with his email program. He had to swallow his pride and call me over to fix it, but had enough [[WhatAnIdiot audacity]] to say "If you can't do it, don't bother." After examining the screen for ten seconds, I grabbed the email window's title bar and dragged it back over. He could not figure out how to close the program. ** Yet ANOTHER computer issue, this one a bit more awesome. Our school network somehow got infected by a virus. The computers typically were under heavy student-proof security lockdown that kept us from accessing Program Files and the registry. This virus managed to disable a lot of the security. I informed my programming teacher of the virus and she immediately left to get the school IT guy. Left alone with the computers, I managed to use the security holes made by the virus to detect and remove every trace of it by hand. This meant deleting registry keys, files, etc. by myself. By the time the IT guy got here, the virus was completely gone. I heard my teacher talking to him about the virus as they walked in. I interjected with "What virus?" * [[Tropers/MaryShrieks This Troper's]] family tends to be filled with Moments of Awesome, such as her grandmother's eightieth birthday party (held at a ski resort), or her other grandmother's solo escape from the Holocaust that killed her parents and thirteen siblings. * [[Tropers/DreadHeadNeo This troper]] and his family have quite a few since all while growing up he was the [[TheWoobie small and cried easily]] and [[TheSmartGuy knew more than most]]. Most never knew of our [[BewareTheNiceOnes hidden centers of rage]]. ** First one came when I was 5 and playing at a park when this bully decides it was fun to insult me so I just turned around socked the kid in the face and broke his nose. ** Fifth grade every moron liked to play "Open Chest" and I wasn't playing around them but instead was waiting in line to go on a field trip I wanted to go on really badly when this idiot comes and hits me in my stomach while shouting "Open Chest!" I land on my knee and just growl (really bad sign) and just charge after the kid. Everyone in my class only seen me get that mad once and one girl locked my arms up and tried to hold me back and was failing and it basically turned into EVERYONE from my class grabbing the girl and the next person as they tried to stop me while I was walking forward while pulling all the

students with every step. The kid who punched me looked like he was about to shit a brick. ** Junior year of high school, a group of jerkasses liked to pick on me a lot and on a particular day when everyone was lining up to leave class, they were shoving the resident stoner into me and when I pushed the jackass off me they would shove him right back into me. Getting more and more pissed I just said fuck it, got out of line and put down my bookbag before grabbing the largest of the bullies by the scruff of his jacket pulling him towards me, picking him up off the ground, and then throwing him into a corner. Said bully is looking dumbfounded before he gets back up and gets up in my face spouting off empty threats while I look back at him with a cold stare before going to pick up my bookbag since I could tell he was more afraid of what I could possibly do due despite my smaller size. The news soon circulated around school and he only resorted to saying shit from a distance rather than get near me after that point. ** Same year, one of the same morons goes digging into my bookbag to get a broken (no wristband) watch out after I told him three times not to go digging through my stuff. After the third attempt I get up and tell him that I'm not playing around. The idiot thinks he's sly tries to hit me with a with sloppy right hook which I duck under and as it sails over I shoot back up and in the same motion I grab his larynx and dig my fingernails into it causing the kid's eyes to go wide. As I let go I tell him and the whole class that was watching that if I wanted to I could've killed him. Class starting talking about how that was a lie when the substitute teacher that was watching just chimed in and confirmed my [[BadassBoast badass threat]] for me causing them to look at me with a tad bit of fear. ** Jerkass roommate in college threatend our autistic roommate causing me to become mightly pissed since the threat is what woke me up from my peaceful sleep. I get up stalk towards the asshole with a unamused glare and in a cold tone stated that he was not going to do anything and that if I ever heard that if he even attempted to harm the other roommates I would basically turn him into a twitching heap. Pretty much the only Standing Up to Bullies Moment of Awesome I have that doesn't resort with me using physical force. ** And this one isn't me but it goes to my younger brother who at age 3 charged out of our house and spear tackled one from a group of bullies that were doing their best to get me into trouble. ** This one makes our family laugh to this day. After getting punched in the stomach this troper's parents went down to the bullies house to tell their parents to keep their son away from me. Now the bullies dad took afront to my parents coming down and started listing off his rank as being a Chief Petty Officer to which my dad responds that he is also and for "the bitch to bring it" and my Mom who was pregnant with my baby sister at the time was getting up in the bullies mother's face. They scared them so much that the bullies dad forced him to leave me alone and the bullies mom became damned scared of my mom, going as far to duck and sneak around a supermarket when she saw my mom. * This Troper, During Year 7 at Secondary School, was a male Shrinking

Violet, verging on Fragile Flower nearly all the time, so much so that a single insult would usually result in tears. However, one time, when I was paticually broken, I encountered the resident Jerkass (Who we shall name "C" For sake of privacy) dealing a heavy beating to my few friends, And also being rather abusive to the Kind Meganekko I had a Crush on. I tried to deal with the situation calmly, but got nothing more that a fist over the head. "C" aimed another punch, But I moved out of the way and (Due to all the pent up anger I had previously had to withdraw from using due to fear) Started fighting him, Dealing a strong Fist straight into his nose, breaking it and causing it to bleed. I proceeded to let 12 months of Unstoppable Rage loose, Which, while also Incredibly satisfiying, Also made it quite clear to him and his mooks that if they even thought about touching My friends or my crush again, I wouldn't hold back. Apparently, "C" cried to some of the other students about this whole incident, but they were suprised, and, amazingly, believe I did the right thing. I got a lot more respect after that (But I STILL couldn't admit my feelings to my crush...) * This may not seem that awesome to some people, but when this troper was in 7th grade, his younger brother had just entered kindergarten at the small school we attended (Seriously...a total of 100 or so students were enrolled.) It was the first day of school, and my friends and I were hanging out, and being the protective older brother that I am, I kept an eye on him the entire recess period. Now, this troper has a massive fear of heights, and was crazy enough to allow his friends to convince him to sit on top of the monkey bars. When I did, I knew it would take me about five minutes just to get down. Well, while I was up on top of the monkey bars, I noticed that this one little kid had just punched my brother in the gut. Fear of heights be damned, I leapt off those bars and ran over to make sure he was alright. In the end, he was ok, and my friends could only comment on two things: one, the fact that the little kid ended up punching me in the mouth...( -_- )...and two: how epic my leap off those bars was. I felt pretty awesome at the time. * [[Tropers/BoldAsLove This troper]] is a bit of a nerd so she has a few. scoring in the 94 percentale on her PLANN tes (Pre-ACT) in rhetotical skills (However her math and sciene skills are SoOkayItsAverage.) Prior to that scoring the highest grade on her History fianl exam out of the [[BookDumb ENTIRE NINTH GRADE IN A CLASS SEE PREVIOUSLY FAILED]]. Also worth mentioning her straight A average in middle school and remarkable standardize testing skills (the last one I took said I average at a 10th grade level while I was in the 6th grade. And finally being accepted into two summer programs at University (one of which being [[IvyLeagueForEveryone Barnard Collge]]. All of this making me a [[AdoredByTheNetwork teacher favorite at my high school]] by current and future instructors * It was the first day of 1st grade and the teacher had decided that she wanted assistant volunteers to come and help her for whatever reason. So I walked into the classroom with a dorky little 5 year old

grin on my face and bout 3 years worth of television plus another 1 year of gaming under my belt. And to my right I see this little crippled kid who can't reach his pencil box. The teacher had said we have to get our pencil boxes for class. Well I had already grabbed mine but decided to help this kid and grab his for him. Well ms. bitch didn't like that at all. She came right on over, grabbed my neck and DRAGGED me to the assigned seat where she continued to verbally berate me while the teachers aids ignored her entirely. All except one, this woman comes over to the desk waits politely for the teacher to pause until the teacher stops for a second and mustering her best sweet old lady voice asks "Yes, how may I help you?" The woman looks down at her and announces this single line in a voice which trailed through the whole room like a lightning bolt cuts through a cloud. "THAT, IS MY SON!" The teacher froze in place because at that moment she knew one thing and one thing only. Her career was over. * [[Tropers/TenderLumpling When I]] was working at [=McDonald's=] in college, I was waiting on a particularly rude customer who had already yelled at the assistant manager because his order wasn't coming up fast enough. (Really, it was the kitchen staff's fault; the owner was there, trying to get them to stop grousing and start working.) After a few minutes, a youngish mom and her two little boys came up and ordered... ''The exact same thing my other customer had''. And both orders came up at the same time. The younger of the boys reached up and accidentally grabbed the other man's tray, at which point the guy just unleashed on him, reducing the poor kid to tears. When I was done serving the other order, I found the guy in the lobby and screamed, loud enough for everyine in the restaurant to hear, "YOU MADE THAT LITTLE BOY CRY! HAPPY NOW?! YOU JUST GO AHEAD AND TELL MY BOSS WHAT HAPPENED; I'LL DO THE SAME, ONLY I'LL MENTION THAT YOU CUSSED OUT BOTH A MANAGER AND A LITTLE KID!" And, amazingly enough, I ''didn't'' get fired for that, just sent home early and told not to yell at a customer again. * This troper is a computer geek who despises sports, has a spotless record and straight-A's since fourth or fifth grade. He tends not to want to do anything that requires physical or mental violence. There are a couple of things that I managed, though. ** Once, during a Cub Scout camp thing some years ago, I was playing fencing or Star Wars or something by myself in the corner of a clearing with a stick during an event in-between time. A kid, probably stronger than me, tooke the stick from me thrice. I asked him to stop thrice. He, on the fourth time, hit the {{Berserk Button}} enough to break it. I snapped and began beating him to a pulp as the other Scouts and the adults looked on. I don't remember what happened after that, but I believe my father pulled me away. A few years later, he even praised me for the act when I went through a fit of self-esteem deprivation. ** Another time, I was sitting at my normal lunch table with my normal friends. Then, my wild, immature and idiotic friend that I despise decided to be wild, immature and idiotic. He'd lick his index and middle fingers and then touch one of us on the head, neck, arm or the

like. It was my "turn." After being finger-licked a few times and rubbing hand sanitizer over the afflicted areas each time (I'm very hygenic), I got sick of it. Being touched on my cheek the next time, I grimaced and wiped the saliva off with my sleeve. Then I armed the {{Precision F Strike}}. (Worse uses of words are in italics) I fired, "You know, if I get sick from all of this ''crap'' I'm going to ''freaking'' kill you, ''girl dog.'' [[TheScrappy Another]] [[ButtMonkey friend]] piped up and said, "[Name]'s AWESOME!" in a very fangirlish tone. * In Junior High, this troper was the target of several bullies. Most of them she ignored, as did her friends. Then one day in the lockerrooms, she overheard one girl telling the other kids that Troper had made out with several boys, and given them all hickeys. Troper had never done such a thing, never dated, and was actually very shy. So of course she'd have never done a such thing. This being the straw that broke the camel's back, the troper huddled in the corner of her gym class and cried. Another classmate found her, consoled her, and after finding out what'd happened, simply said "Don't you worry about it...I'll be ''right'' back." Some time later, Troper saw that the classmate had rounded up several of their mutual friends, surrounded and cornered the girl, and were verbally tearing into her. "Troper would ''never'' do sh*t like that, and ''you need to stop f*cking saying she did!"'' It worked. * This troper was participating in a class discussion, and it was her turn to speak. Now, in the troper's class, there's this one girl who ''never knows when to shut up.'' It's like she only speaks to hear her own voice, and everyone in our class is sick of it. Well, while the troper was contributing her part, said girl interrupted her, like she had several other people in the course of a half-hour. Troper immediately turned around, shouting "Shut up and let me finish, I'm not done yet!" before finishing her piece. During lunch-period that day, several classmates came up and said they "loved" her for that. Another classmate said that she and several other students actually applauded under the table. * This troper is normally a pretty cautious driver and has always treated any parking lot, vacant or not, like they were miniature roads. Well. One night, my friend and I were following a couple of our other friends to the store, and our other friends were tearing through the parking lot (which was mostly empty) with careless abandon. I said to my friend, "S may drive recklessly through parking lots, but..." Cue the little devil on my shoulder. "SO... DO... WE!" Then I drove straight through several lanes of parking spots at 35 MPH with my friend going, "WOOHOO!" And it was AWESOME. * For some odd reason, [[{{Tropers/Mariko-chan}} this troper]] didn't have many friends in middle school. She had some, and those she kept close in her heart. Near the end of eighth grade, she learned she had to move to a different part of Hawaii, and go to another school, leaving her friends behind. They were all heartbroken. On the last day

of the school year, the last presented her with a poster. POEM SAYING THAT THIS TROPER say, I will ''never'' forget

time they'd ever be together, they Glued on was PICTURES OF THEM ALL AND A WAS THEIR GREATEST TREASURE. Needless to them. . .

* This isn't a Moment of Awesome for me, but rather for my stepgrandad. I only found out recently that my stepmother's family didn't so much "leave" South Africa as were ''chased out'', on pain of being arrested/shot/never seen again, because my step-grandad didn't support the aparteid regime and actually paid his black servants a decent wage. This, apparantly, was "inciting riot". Oh, and he was present as a (white) protester at the Sharpeville Massacre, and attempted to drive several wounded black people to the hospital - I say attempted, because they turned him away at the door. All this meant my stepmother's house was bugged and under 24-hour surveillance, and when they went on holiday one time were met with a hysterical phonecall by a neighbour who told them "Don't come back, the police are in your house!" Obviously, having to flee the country and ending up in Britain with just one suitcase of holiday clothes each is not the Moment of Awesome: that came three years ago, when my step-grandad went back to non-aparteid South Africa in order to pick up an (unrelated) award at a psychology conference. Apparantly he walked through customs with a gigantic grin on his face and said just two words: "I'm back." * This Aspie troper fondly remembers a few truly Awesome moments while growing up three immediately come to mind. Also simply looking back and realizing how far I've come in regards to my social skills and comfort levels in groups is pretty awesome itself. 1: I was Twelve years old and being constantly harassed by the class dick, it was a cold winter's day and we were out at recess in the middle of what must have been a blizzard. He was swearing at me and taught me all sorts of bad words on the spot. The guy was a walking F-Bomb. So I punched him when he really got in my face, I punched him so hard I lost sight of him. I never saw him again. Never. I never heard of him again. People forgot about him. I PUNCHED HIM OUT OF EXISTENCE!! 2: I was in High School Hell at this point and frankly I was the school's Butt Monkey. Mostly due to my poor social skills in one of those really clique-esk places. So I was trying to relax in the noisy as a sin cafeteria by playing some one man pool. We had a table so for a loonie you got a game. Then one of my most constant tormentors shows up and demands the table after calling me a Zitface despite the fact that I had maybe twenty pimples and he looked like an inflated pepperoni pizza with extra pepperoni, I point this out and he slugs me with a Falcon Punch to the back of the head. Seriously he gave out some sort of scream as he did it and it didn't even faze me. I shrugged it off so easily that he freaked and bolted. I barely felt it to be honest and this guy was an athlete weighing in at nearly two hundred pounds of muscle I think he was a football player, and I was maybe one hundred and ten pound then? Soaking wet maybe? 3: My final one was at twenty one a few months ago and is one not of violence or endurance, but being too good to patronize. A pair of Jehovahs Witnesses showed up at my door during a cold winter's day. "Excuse me sir? Do you believe in God?" they ask

me. "I believe in A God but I don't think any current Theologies have an accurate assumption upon God. So I try to find God my own way." I answered. They spent the next twenty minutes showing off a flyer and avoiding eye contact. Then without even realizing it I drove them off by inviting them in for a hot drink so we could discuss ALL theology and it's inherent flaws. They left. I guess I was too nice. Go figure. * This Troper has been a geek pretty much all his life. I was obnoxiously smart and completely unhealthy for the first 9 years of school. The last time I passed the mile run (Before this incident) was in 1st grade. After that, I just kept getting more and more unhealthy. My arms eventually started to look like Swiss Cake Rolls (A favorite after-school snack). Anyway, 9th grade came around, I actually started making friends and decided enough was enough. I was going to become fit, no matter what it took. I actually started participating in gym class. I told my parents to stop buying Lil' Debbies, and I managed to keep up a steady jog for 10 minutes, probably longer than I'd ever run in my life. But my true Moment of Awesome came during the mile test at the end of the year. The watch clicked, everyone rocketed off. I quickly fell behind the most athletic kids, but I didn't stop to talk to my friends like I normally did. I just kept going. 5 minutes and 45 seconds later, I reach the finish line, completely exausted, but victorious. And to cap it all off, I did the Rocky run up the stairs to our school immediately afterward. * This isn't a ''personal'' Crowning Moment of Awesome, but I was peripherally involved: back in my last year of high school I was in the chorus in the school play -- a play which was, to put it bluntly, absolutely terrible, with an abysmally eye-clawingly brain-forkingly badly written script. But there was one song we all agreed was actually good, and on the second night when it came time to perform it, everything went ''magnificently''. The chorus parted on stage to reveal the singer playing the part of Tina Turner and a huge cheer came up from the audience, then as we launched into performing "River Deep Mountain High" she absolutely ''nailed'' it, looking and sounding every bit like Tina as she sang. And then at the end, when we all ran to the front of the stage and leapt into the air on the final note, the crowd went absolutely ''wild''. A crowning moment of awesome that never came close to being topped in the entire rest of the play. * This troperrecently (A few weeks ago) got into a....little fight with his longtime nemesis, last day of (high)school, he may not be coming(droping out, my nemesis, not me) back, revenge bluh bluh merger childish things. He decides to come at me with a meter stick with a rather intimidating war cry. I merely tilt my head ever so slightly and plunk, it hits the wall behind my head, visibly dumbfounded he then attempts to slash me. Big mistake, my headphones got unplugged from my Ipod touch, and my favorite song was just beginning. Nightwish's song [[CrowningMusic/{{Nightwish}} she is my sin]] and so begins my epic battle, he keeps slashing and lunging at me all while I dodge his blows and strokes. He attempts another headshot but I deftly grabbed it from him, he fell face first onto the floor, then I said

one of my favorite [[BadassBoast badass boasts]] almost immediately afterword [[FinalFantasyVIIAdventChildren "On your knees...I want you to beg for forgiveness."]] my class's resident Video game gerd (Her own word she made, a combination of geek and nerd, she calls herself this all the time) said almost YELLING "Holy SHIT dude! That was awesome!" unfortunately his Girlfriend didnt think so, and tossed him the other meter stick and said "Kick that little snot into next year!"(Even though im taller then him he's like 5'4 im 5'7) and we exchanged blows which was eerily similar to aboved mentioned Final Fantasy movie, I then disarmed him and then said, "I hold no ill will, nor is this a personal matter, but thanks for the workout non-the less." He simply bowed his head in shame, his girlfriend having pure spasms of RAGE, chiding him that he couldn't beat a video game playing ultimate geek face(highly immature for a 16 year old girl I know), but I couldn't here them over the applause I was getting from the other geeks and my fellow peers, my teacher ( a substitute) woke up from her nap and simply said "what did I miss?" we all (except for my nemesis and his GF) begun laughing uncontrollably for a few minutes. I deadpanned afterwords "Nothing at all ma'am, just having some fun, listening to music, drawing, epic one sided battles..." She shrugged and went back to sleep. * [[Tropers/RowsdowerSavesUs My]] dad [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bt2vf8_vPMI avenging the gruesome deaths of an innocent family of purple martins]]. ** Now, its not. ** So, the snakes were evil? I don't get it. How are the snakes to blame, the father doesn't even seem too sure about it. *** Yeah, sorry about the birds and all, but this seems a bit unfair. It'a a ''snake'', it needs to eat, it's food doesn't come conveniently prepackaged, and I don't think taking it out with a ''gun'' for following it's base nature is anything to be proud of. ** I hold that it is, in fact, a [=CMoA=]. They had some birdhouses set up for the birds to live in, and the snake came in and ate them all. Consider if this were a garden and some bugs were eating your plants--they're still following their base nature, but you still feel really good when you get rid of them. * In middle school, I, who was not much of an athlete, to say the least, and who was also a very socially-awkward and geeky young adolescent, was at the end of a line of kids who were trying to land half-court shots during Gym. Mind, my Gym class was probably about forty kids, and I was at the end of the line under the assumption that shy, unassuming I might not even have to try to make the shot (one period, if I recall correctly, was forty-five minutes, and there were two minutes shaved off each end to change; I reasoned that it would take about a minute per shot on average). I had had some experience with a basketball--my dad had taught me how to shoot fairly well and was teaching me at the time a bit about how to actually play--but I was absolutely certain that if I did go, I should miss horribly and be mocked mercilessly. I was second-to-last in line, and nobody had sunk the shot yet. Feeling confident that missing the shot wouldn't make me a laughingstock, I gave it a real effort. I let the ball go, watched

its arc for a second or two, turned around, and headed for the locker room, assuring myself that I had missed--and was hailed with stupefied, thunderous applause when the whole class heard the swish of the ball going through the hoop. It was the only half-court shot I'd ever made--I still haven't made a shot like that again--and I never even saw it. * In fifth grade, [[{{Tropers.Snowsky}} I]] signed up for the school talent show at the very last minute to sing a song. I'm normally a person who does not like being the center of attention, so this was a decision I went with spontaneously. At the auditions, I think I was the only person who didn't use background music for a singing/dancing act. After the audition, I think I almost fainted. Cue the night of the Talent Show about three or four rehearsals later, and I was onstage. And I sang. * Video Game one: I was playing Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas and got to the mission where you have to rescue the 2 British guys from the desert. This wasn't my first playthrough of the game, so I knew what was coming at the snake farm (a group of angry rednecks chase you down and try to kill you). So I turned on the "Cars Fly" code (little explaination of the code, it's ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin and it causes cars to take off when they reach a high enough speed) and slowly entered the scene. As soon as the chase began I took off and flew toward my goal (a Las Vegas expy). On the way I realized the rednecks were still behind me shooting, so I turned toward a large body of water, flew straight up as high as I could, and dropped into a nosedive toward the water, with the rednecks following suit. A few feet above the water I quickly pulled up (just missing the water by a couple feet) and watched as the rednecks, who, being that the computer isn't as good at flying cars as I was (because the cars shouldn't actually be flying and are harder to control than the planes in the game), went straight into the water. The next problem was landing the car, which was going REALLY fast, but I managed to pull it off without ''completely'' destroying it. * I had one, in the MMORPG JadeDynasty so there was this guild war, I picked the healer class which has a great crowd control spell at higher levels and I kinda messed up the skill tree so I wasn't at my full potential, I just jumped in the war and kicked some ass,when the enemy had caught me, there where several people attacking me at once, but I lasted enough to activate my 3 second invincibility spell then used my crowd control spell (mentioned above) and not only it managed to kill some of the people attacking me, it also allowed me to save several of my guild mates from a certain death, all this with a broken keyboard, the only thing working properly where the number keys above the letter keys, so I couldn't communicate with my guild at all for the duration of the war, CrowningMomentOfAwesome Indeed. * I've had two of these; ** One, I was in a minibus with four of my cousins, three of whom were older. They were all siblings. I'd been told to look after the smallest, whom was promptly picked on by her siblings. I looked after her all right. By almost putting my cousin's noses out of joint,

earning my little cousin's undying loyalty in the process. ** My mother, Margaret-Mary, is the Queen of [[DeadpanSnarker Deadpan Snarkers]], but I've never been too good at it. One day, I was in a room with the vast majority of my extended family, and my lil' cuz "S" was sitting in the corner saying "I hate myself" over and over again very loud. It got really frustrating, and I eventually snapped, turned to S, and said "S, if you're going to help yourself, can you ''please'' do it quietly?" The entire room went quiet, and everyone said, in unison, "''Margaret-Mary!!''" I come out with decent quips occasionally now ("There wouldn't be much to work with" in response to an idiot asking my friend for a blowjob, for example), but that moment is still by favourite. * This troper has to deal with a slightly annoying guy in his AP English class. Once, when I was trying to give my opinion on something (I was also in a bad mood because at the moment whether I will pass English for the six weeks is in doubt) the guy interrupted me and started saying "Of course you'd say something like that..." Right in the middle of his sentence I turned around and yelled "NO ONE ASKED YOU!". It startled both him and the class a lot, and our teacher (who is basically FunPersonified) commended me. * I was attacked in high school and i by shear luck managed to dodge his first punch then i said: " Im a black belt bitch!" and he ran away. Ive never even seen a karate class. * I started watching SuzumiyaHaruhi during the endless eight episodes. Just then I read some thing about Ryoko and told two friends thatwere also watching it that she must be back soon to create a plot twist because the audience must be annoyed by the loop. I just said this because I liked Ryoko, but... You know, there is such a plot twist. Now my friends thought either I'm a prophet or I had some connections. * I was playing [=DnD=], online, as a Homebrew gunning class, I have the ability to shoot two shots with one attack roll at a -2 penalty, and I have a class ability that can be used in conjunction with that for an extra 2 rolls of 2d6, I was fighting this guy, one on one, in the arena, got a natural 20 using both abilities, rolled to confirm crit... 20 again... Opponent = Annihilated, he flipped me off on the way down. And then, later, somebody else in the arena, the person THEY were fighting... Rolled 3 1s in a row. We all pretty much agreed I stole his luck. * I was riding a trail (yes, with horses) with some friends, and as we rounded a bend a rabbit dashed out into the path. My mount freaked and reared up, to the point where I was falling out of the saddle. The path we were on was fairly narrow, with a steep dropoff at that turn. Without thinking, I reached up and grabbed. While my horse came back to earth, I found myself hanging from a branch about 7-8 feet off of the ground. I let go and drop back into the saddle. * Video games: This troper got three kills with two rounds from a TMP in CounterStrike: Source. He still doesn't know how it happened. * This troper's dad had one, when he worked out how to get rid of a hive of [[GoddamnedBats Goddamned Wasps]] that thought nesting between the floors of our house was an absolutely ''dandy'' idea. He set up the shop-vac, maneuvered the end of the hose to about an inch below the entrance of the hive (and stuck it there, somehow), filled the

body of the shopvac with six inches of soapy water, turned it on.... and then, save for opening it up every six hours or so to clear out dead wasps, ignored it. Cue applause, and the family's dubbing said vacuum Bee-Vac (because Wasp-Vac didn't roll off the tongue as well). Ingenuity and opposable thumbs = 1, numbers and painful stings = 0. * I caught a bird in midair with my hand as it flew by. It was instinctive and I was so startled I let it go. I couldn't help but smile when it flew away. * [[{{Tropers/JusticeReaper}} This troper's]] personal Moment of Awesome came when I was in high school, back in 2001. At the time, I was in 5th form (Grade 11 for you American readers), and I had just completed CXC/CSEC examinations. I ended up getting the highest score in English Language in the entire country of Jamaica, beating out four other students who'd been tied with me for the top position. In 2002, after I entered 6th Form (Grade 12), I and several other students across Jamaica who'd gotten high distinctions in various subjects were invited to receive awards for our hard work. To this day, I have the trophy and certificate for my excellent performance at that time. ** An update from the same troper, this one being a video-game-related CrowningMomentOfAwesome: While I was at university, I used to play a lot of the ''JojosBizarreAdventure'' video game for the Playstation. The CrowningMomentOfAwesome, in detail: I'm fighting Dio as Jotaro in Story Mode's final battle. I beat the tar out of him until he's got only a small amount of health left, then I allow him to beat me up in order to increase his Super Bar. Said Super Bar gets filled to the maximum. I watch for the signs that he's going to use the Super Bar [[spoiler:in order to stop time]]. Dio teleports behind me, uses his Stand (The World) to do his Muda-Muda-Muda punching (which I block), and only ''then'' does he activate his Super Bar [[spoiler:stopping time]]. My Super Bar has been filled to maximum, as well, from all the attacking I was doing earlier, so the instant Dio activates his Super Bar, I make Jotaro activate his Super Bar, too. From there, Dio is attacking me relentlessly, pushing me into the corner, and now I'm down to less than half an inch of life left on my health bar. Then Dio gets into his knife-throwing stance...and his Super Bar runs out completely [[spoiler:''and'' he gets frozen in time]]. Only 5 seconds to do what I have to do. So I jump backwards further into the corner and have Jotaro kick Dio in the head, then make Jotaro walk forward and [[GroinAttack knee Dio in the crotch]], and then on impulse I press Down+Back+Normal Attack Button on the controller, and Star Platinum (Jotaro's Stand) flies out and punches Dio square in the face. Jotaro gets into a stance and mutters something in Japanese. Dio gets defeated, with the background animation that comes up when you beat a character with a Super Move. I win the fight and unlock the stage's secret. [[spoiler:"I stopped time!"]] * This troper just had a minor Moment of Awesome. He managed to finish "All In" on the brutal difficulty on Starcraft 2. He did this while suffering from a stomach virus/food poisoning, and most importantly of all which makes it awesome, he did it in one complete 30 min segment, with no saves. Start level at 12:40 finish at 1:00, never before has a victory cinematic felt so well earned.

* A couple of years back, This Troper and her mother were in our house, decorating for Halloween. A burgler chose that time to break into our house by climbing through the window. For some odd reason, This Troper's first reaction was to grab a glove off the table, put it on, STICK SAID GLOVE INTO THE FLAME OF A NEARBY CANDLE, SETTING IT ON FIRE, and charging towards the burgler screaming "Falcon Punch!". This scared the crap out of the guy, and he ran off before I had the chance to punch him. After he ran off, I came to my senses and yanked off the still burning glove and tossed it out the window the burgler came in from. Yes, the burnt hand was definately worth it.

* One of this troper's "teachers" back in middle school took a heavy disliking of him, basically making him get very bad scores on Environment Science, one of the troper's "Speciality subjects". The teacher called her and told her basically, to make the troper drop out of the school and give his space to other students because "he wasn't deserving of the chance". (Now, this troper was not only a tremendous nerd, but a kind soul, aknowledged even by the bullies, who didn't bully him because he has put himself in the line of fire for them) She simply stood up, looked the teacher in the eye and told him "I was sure this fine school's directive board took the utmost care on choosing the best teachers for their students. It looks like even they can let rats soil their fine grain." and left the office with literal royal disdain. The teacher made a really rude comeback at her (Literally telling her to fuck herself) and the troper jumped to punch the lights out of the teacher, danger of expulsion be damned. The woman took the trooper by the shoulder softly but firmly and told him without even glancing at the teacher: "Don't do that, Troper. It isn't worth it." (The IT was sharply directed to the teacher, not to the situation). Then she went to the principal and exposed her case. Needless to say, the teacher was fired. ** This troper loves his father to bits, but at the same time (Because he is quite a doting, bumbling father, who suffers from Anxiety Disorder as well) he wants to reduce the man to bits (Their personalities are totally opposite). Even with that, he's no douche, but quite the contrary. When some workmates made fun of his wife's sterility (The troper is adopted), actually asking him why haven't him ditched his wife (Something like during the 70s), he simply looked at them sharply and told them "Because I love her.". The douches never dissed at him again. ** This troper himself is in opinion of everyone who has known him both a Cloudcuckoolander and a Cosmic Plaything, and incredibly klutzy as well. Once he tried to play pool with the friends. He tried to shoot the white ball into the other two, but his stick slipped outta his hand, making the white ball bounce. It bounced over the other two balls. Cue everyone watching agape at him. * [[RavenGrave I]] am not athletic. At all. And yet, some of the proudest moments of my life came from mandatory high school gym class

(Grade 10 gym, which served as my Grade 9 gym). ** Moment the first: At midterm reports, having the second-highest class average of 88 due to sheer refusal to give up and a basic grasp of the English language. ** Moment the second: Our gym teacher always had us warm up with laps of the gym, or, god forbid, the football field. I did not do so well at this at first. And then, one magical day halfway through the semester, I suddenly had an epiphany. And finished a whole half-lap ahead of the entire class. Every day for the rest of the term. ** Moment the third: Upon being placed in goal by a rather unthinking team, I was then faced with one of the jerks who had made my life in class hell. Prior to this, he had scored by making me flinch. So he tried to do this again. I kicked the ball out of his hand into the rafters of the gym. While he was holding it in front of his face. Stunning the entire class into silence. We won. * This troper was playing a MeleeATrois [[YuGiOh Duel]] against his brother (who was playing a Spider deck, which specializes in putting monsters in Defense Mode) and his cousin (who uses a "cookie-cutter" Deck) with his Dinosaur deck. Two moments stand out: ** After a "Cyber Jar" draw resulted in no monsters, I flipped "Hunting Instinct" to play a 3300 ATK monster with an effect to cause Direct Damage straight to the field. ** After that monster was eventually destroyed, I played a monster whose attack power is dependent on how many monsters where removed from the game. I had 11 monsters out of play, which resulted in a [[UpToEleven 11,000 ATK]] monster. * This troper has caught flies before. Without looking. * This troper's grandfather is, well... a drunk bastard. Even before he became an alcoholic, he treated my mum, uncle, aunt and grandmum like crap. When I was seven years old, my grandmum divorced him. He never contacted us again. Then, two years ago, he called and asked my grandmum to bail him out of jail. My kindhearted grandmum did what he wanted, but made him promise that he would never drink alcohol again. He said that he wouldn't. But still, he didn't contact us. A week ago, he called my mum, asking for money. She coolly asked him: "Do you drink alcohol?" He had to admit that she still did. Then, my mum coldly gave the best CallingTheOldManOut I have ever seen. She pointed out how stupid, selfish and greedy he had been, and basically all of his flaws. He didn't answer. Just hung up. And believe me, her speech was absolutely kickass. * This troper was bullied throughout secondary school, had a terrible time and pulled many sickies because she hated school so much and told she probably wouldn't do much other then barely scrape good enough grades to get into college. Imagine her surprise when she got her GCSE results and got none other then 8 Bs, 4 Cs and just one D! If I could have gone up to the very teachers who put me down and blown a raspberry at them, I would have! * [[Tropers/NotATerrorist This Troper]] managed to get a Moment of Awesome after being bullied for I think four years. One guy tormented

me on and off. I didn't defend myself, nope, I just put one hand in front of my face and one in front of my testicles. Let him hit me. Didn't care. Then came year 6, he punched a little year 3 or something and I flipped my shit. I kicked him in the face and broke his nose, I think. He went and started complaining to a teacher, who actually had a go at me. I BSOD'd and just crumpled in a heap crying. I still was the one that got punished. I decided right then, waiting for my punishment, I'd go out in a blaze of glory, and mouthed off to the head teacher, anyone that tried to mediate between me and the guy, and so on. I'm not proud of how I dealt with it, but I did something awesome in my last year at that school. * [[Tropers/MonkeyPhysics My]] Moment of Awesome isn't anywhere near as awesome as some I've seen here, but here it is anyway. I was at a "Saxophone Day" at a specialist music university, and wandered into a jazz improvisation workshop. After about an hour of failing to produce anything even vaguely noteworthy, I managed to pull a solo [[AssPull out of my backside]] that was later described by the tutor (who'd been rather... unafraid to criticise) as "excellent". Cue a gaggle of vaguely-cliquey students asking me why they hadn't seen me before, assuming I was also studying there. The looks on their faces when I told them I was a chemistry major... * Toward the end of one semester of college, I was called into my journalism teacher's office. She informed me that I had been awarded 2nd Place in the Rocky Mountain Collegiate Media Association's (RMCMA) annual competition. It was a 14-state creative competition amongst colleges. I was stunned (in a good way) that my creative writing had taken 2nd place: not only had my creative writing been entered into the contest without my knowledge ... ''I hadn't even known RMCMA existed until I was called into the office.'' * This troper has a strange one and it is also rather long, so be prepared: I had auditioned for a solo part in a performance of a song for a week after the auditions. The morning before the rehersal, I was informed that I hadn't got the part. I was disappointed, but I was ok with it. At the rehersal, one of the two vocalists turned out to have fallen ill during the day. I got asked if I could stand in for him, to which I nervously accepted (I hadn't expected that at all, but I was also nervous as I realised that no one else in the room had heard me sing a solo). I performed and was informed that it was good. Then I learned that the performance was in front of the people in years 9 (the newest people to the school) and year 12 (the year my sister was in). Also, did I mention that the strictest teacher in the school is also a tutor in year 12? I had been a student of that teacher and also recently in a play with him as the director, but I am still pretty nervous around him. So, on the day, I was trying my hardest to block those thoughts out of my head (and failing). Well, I went up, trying not to look around the audience and performed the solo. About tenfifteen minutes after the performance, I was helping bring the music stands back to their location when I almost walked into the teacher. I was too stunned to move, expected a comment about me wasting good

study time. Instead, he said that I had done well. My sister (who doesn't really comment about my singing) agreed and mentioned that, after my performance, people said to her, "Wow, your brother can sing!" I also was praised by the rest of the choir, the choir master and my previous form tutor. The fact I still feel I wasn't the best vocalist for the song (well, if you can review your performance and see the faults in it, you learn how to improve it) makes this kinda more awesome. The song in question? Something Inside by Labi Siffre, which was written as an anti-Apartheid anthem according to The Other Wiki. * It's a little disturbing how many of these moments are about acts of violence by the tropers in question, frankly. Mine is as well, but unlike those above, the only thing I was hitting were my drums. I'm one of those guys who has such performance anxiety that unless it's absolutely mandatory, I won't put myself on the spot anywhere - I don't even like introducing myself to groups of people. It's not objectively very impressive, but I'm proud of myself for being able to play for an audience and not embarrass myself - I'm going back next week and I'm hoping to make it a habit. ** When someone, after years of torment, finally stands up and says "no more," it's awesome. * This lil troper is usually very amicable, but has been known to [[BewareTheQuietOnes lose it]]. Examples include: ** Kindergarten! This very lil' troper was constantly picked on because of his size. One day, this second grader who loved picking on the pre-k's decided that said troper was small enough to be one. Cue loud crack resounding around campus and bully running from troper with nose hanging half off. Said troper then defied teachers and authorities by providing witnesses for the acts of bullying, even though he couldn't spell 'witness'. ** Third Grade! This not so lil' troper doesn't have much friends because he was so quiet then. Unfortunately there were this trio of jerks who loved to pick on this troper. They were very popular. unfortunately for them, this troper started Tae Kwon Do training since first grade and was a green belt then. They and their posse decided to roughen up a female friend of this troper. He dropped his bag, walked up to them and quietly asked them to stop. They didn't. They advanced towards him. He drop kicked their ringleader and they never bothered him or his friends again. ** Sixth Grade! This growing troper recently earned his blue belt in Judo, his orange in Karate, and his red in Tae Kwon Do. Sometime in the middle of March that year, he discovered that someone had thrown his backpack in a tree. He looked around for teachers, climbed the tree, grabbed the backpack, looked for the one person who wasn't staring up at him, looked closer and saw that he was surrounded by his posse, then jumped and landed a foot on him from the tree. crouching on the guys torso with two broken ribs, he warned the jerk not to mess with him again. He complied. ** Junior Year of high school! 2010! This troper is now a black in all three arts and is training in Kendo. Unfortunately, he has also moved

to a new school and has become a prime target for bullies. The one incident when this troper completely lost it stemmed from the fact that all 12 of the bully's posse and the bully himself was beating up a good friend of this troper behind the school. I walked slowly, and when the bully tried to punch him he threw him into the nearest wall and actually dented the wall. Granted, it was plaster drywall, but that's still pretty hard to do. This troper has perfected his angry ice cold quiet voice by now, and when he uses it, people crap bricks. * I, PrimeEvil, have a few choice moments, which I will share with you right here. ** When I graduated from Evergreen Park High School, I was among the last generation to have taken Concert Choir for 4 years. It took me to Hawaii, where I sang the "Hallelujah Chorus" at the Kamehameha Cathedral (if I have it wrong, do correct me), and to Texas, where we sang...I can't remember what we sang, but it was at the oldest cathedral in San Antonio. I'm ashamed to admit I don't remember much of either--it was "just a job" at the time--but I realize the significance of it now. ** I'm at Chicago State University as well, and I'm on the Honda Campus All-Star Challenge quiz-bowl team (visit www.hcasc.com for more). CSU's team hadn't really done much of anything since it began in 2000, but I'm proud to say that I was a part of the teams that A)won first place against Florida A&M University at the First PreNationals Tournament in 2009, and B)made it to the Playoffs at the National Tournament in 2010. Yes, that's right--IT'S THE FIRST TIME WE WERE EVER ABLE TO DO THAT. *** 2011 Update: I managed to get the All-Star medal at this year's tournament. I was one of eight to do so. Cool, huh? ** Last year, at the ChicagoTARDIS convention, I acquired the last two autographs to complete my hardcover copy of _Doctor Who: Regeneration_. Result: I now have the autographs from ALL of the major cast members from the TV Movie, which is where my love for "Doctor Who" began in the first place. I'm NEVER letting that one go. *** Now that Elisabeth Sladen's died, I think meeting her and autographing a copy of Doctor Who Magazine (signed as "The Doctor") an awesome moment. * I think I can safely say I have one. I have a tendency to joke around, and sometimes my jokes cross the line a bit. "Crossing the line" here meaning "making one person go utterly batshit and repeatedly kick me from the chat until I apologize, which I of course do." So a couple days ago, I got really tired of it. Came back into the chat, and unleashed a page-long tirade against them enumerating each and every time they had overreacted to me since I met them. I mentioned how they're jealously overprotective of their girlfriend and how I was tired of their paranoia. Within five seconds I was banned. I got a message five minutes after that, saying "She's gone. The back door is open." I had been unbanned by their girlfriend. Words cannot describe the awesome. * I had one Myself. It started at 3:49 AM Today. It was no ordinary

day, It was Black Friday! My mom told me to go to Macy's for the 4am Doorbuster sale. It was a simple shopping list: 1 Mini-fryer, 1 Electric Iron, and 1 Neck Massager. When I got to The Cellar, I asked one of the workers to help me find those three items. He showed me where they were, went to the cashier, paid them, and took off. When I got out of the store, I screamed at the top of my lungs... {{CROWNING MOMENT OF AWESOME}}!! I breezed right through Black Friday in less than 20 minutes. Greatest. Friday. Ever. * so picture this- It's about a hundred degrees out, somewhere in the mountains in CA. There are about 50 teenaged girls, all dressed in long skirts, long sleeved blouses, aprons-1840's pioneer era stuff. for every 5 or so girls, there's a huge handcart, loaded down with stuff. and they've been walking half the day and most of yesterday already. all the men( teen boys, bout 40) have left, and it's just the girls, standing at the base of a fairly steep trail, and it's not so hard at first. there's singing and " we can do this."...until the trail gets dusty. and then it gets steeper. so this on girl's wagon is the first to the crest, and while her friends are siting there, drinking and eating, what does she do? she runs back down the hill, and starts helping pull another wagon. and then another. and after all the wagons are up, there's only a few minutes rest, and then they go off again. and it's down hill for a bit... and then everything comes to a full stop. Because there's another hill, thick with dust and loose rocks, and about 75 degrees- super steep. but they keep going. they say a prayer and keep going. and just as the first wagon starts to slip back, and that girl's legs give out- a bunch of the kids from the wagons that hadn't started up the slope come charging up, and push and pull and get that wagon up the hill. This was last summer, a bunch of city kids who didn't like each other much. and all the way down that trail, there were hoarse voices straining out, "Oh how we'll make, this chorus swell, all is well....all! is! well!" * This troper's Moment of Awesome was when she found her missing brother twice in the span five hours. The first time, he'd snuck back to a shop to watch the TV in the shop. The second time, the entire family was in Gap and he just wandered out of the store. I thought it was a repeat of the first incident so I went out to look for him. I found him halfway out of the shopping complex aka ten meters away from us and five meters away from the road. * This troper was playing her dad in MarioParty. I was in third place and a Star was five spaces in front of me. I used my Thrice Candy and not only did I get that, but I got the one that appeared in front of ''that,'' and then got the one in front of ''that.'' I got three stars in ''one turn'' and moved from third place to first in ''one move!'' * This troper's grandmother, Ethel, an absolutely fantastic woman who raised five children on the budget of an author and a librarian who hadn't finished high school, had plenty of Moments of Awesome, including getting kicked out of Catholic school for a combination of defending other students from one particular sadistic nun's bullying

and smoking behind the lockers, giving up a life of riches and luxuries with her parents so she could elope with my grandfather (who her parents hated because he was liberal), and getting herself a cameo in the little-known book "One Minute to Eternity." (My grandfather had his own Moments of Awesome, including hijacking a train in Mexico.) But by far my favorite story about her is this: Her parents were very rich, and they used their money to get in good with stars of stage and screen. When my grandmother was about six, they managed to get themselves invited to a party at Shirley Temple's house. My grandmother's little sister wandered over to a dollhouse in the corner of the room and began playing with the dolls in it. Unfortunately for her, that was Shirley Temple's dollhouse. Shirley Temple saw her playing with her dollhouse, ran over, and slapped my grandmother's little sister. My grandmother's little sister started crying. My grandmother saw that, marched over, and punched Shirley Temple full in the face. She gave her a black eye. Let me repeat that: my grandmother gave [[ShirleyTemple Shirley Temple]] a black eye because she made her little sister cry. When I grow up, I'm going to be Grandma. * I didn't know whether to put this here or under CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming, but I'll put it here first. One of my favorite musicians in the world is singer/songwriter Anna Nalick. Now that she's on a comeback after two years of total absence from the public eye, she's mostly played shows in California. I live in Pennsylvania, and was quite jealous of the Californians who get to see Anna on a regular basis. A few weeks ago, however, it was announced that she'd be doing a show in New York. At first I didn't think I could go, but I realized my parents and I had taken less-than-24-hour trips to other places, so why not New York? My parents drove me 100 miles just to see Anna- but that's not even the most awesome part. I'll cut right to that. The [=CMoA=] is this: At the end of her show, the crowd yelled for an encore. Anna said, "I don't have anything prepared- what do you wanna hear?" There were a lot of people there, all shouting out requests. I yelled out "PAPER BAG!", one of my absolute favorite of her songs- the song that many times has given me hope and courage when I needed it- but which she doesn't really play anymore... and she did it. With all those people shouting out requests, she could have played whatever song she wanted... but Anna Nalick played "Paper Bag" live, for the FIRST TIME IN MORE THAN THREE YEARS, just for me. I don't know if she'll play it again anytime soon, but she played it the one time for me, and I'll never forget it. As if that weren't enough, I actually got to meet her backstage and got an autograph and a picture with her. If all that wasn't worth a hundred-mile drive, I don't know what is. * Tropers/KMan here with a story of how being a LargeHam can pay off. His group for a group assignment spent too much time working on the product but not enough time on the presentation. We only rehearsed for a few days but no more than 2-3 attempts for 2 days. When the day came I promised them I would make it work. So I unleashed the [[LargeHam hog]], [[HamAndCheese overacting]] and spent most of the presentation [[ThisIsSparta at high]] [[[NoIndoorVoice volume]]. The result was the

only presentation that got the class and the teacher to laugh and this troper walked out of that class with a mark of 96.5% out of 100 for an assignment worth 20% of the final grade. The other members of my group got marks that didn't go below 90% if they deserved it. Keep in mind the mark was 10% for the product and another 10% for the presentation. * This Troperette has been known to strangers as the sweet, innocent and slightly nerdy thing. A friend of hers (codenamed Orihime because of her similarity to the character from Bleach) was being bullied by the resident, otaku hating bitches. Orihime was pretty passive about it, saying that the teacher already took care of it and that the Ampatuans (that's our group) didn't need to fight at all. Cue this scene:(translated from Tagolog) Lead Bitch: Hey, say something in Japanese! * giggling* Troper: *stands up, puts on I'm hella pissed face and turns to bitches* Urusai, motherfuckers! This Troper is glad to report that they did not bother Orihime or any Ampatuan otaku ever again. * This troper had one when he was 16. Out of the group I hung out with (I hesitate to call them friends), I was the most average football (soccer) player, not horrendous, but not outstanding, mostly because it wasn't a huge priority of mine, and I was never allowed to forget this fact. Then we went on the lower sixth form ski trip, where, at the top of a fairly sticky red slope, I waited while the rest of the guys picked their way down, ignoring any insinuations that I was intimidated by the piste. Once I had enough space, I pushed off, skied a fast, flawlessly carved line through everyone, reaching the bottom way before any of the others, stopping with a textbook hockey stop that sprayed snow 5ft in the air. The stunned looks on everyone's faces negated any desire to gloat. * This troper made 300 people sing the first Pokmon opening, long version, all the way to the end, to the top of their lungs. ** HOW exactly did you do this? * Another instance, also during sixth, was when I was putting things in my locker. A kid, trying to impress two other kids who had bullied me in the past, kept walking by, hitting me with his binder. Sick of him and the other bullies, I grabbed the hitter, slamed him into the lockers, and said coldly "Don't mess with me again." * This troper had been playing the clarinet since the fourth grade, concert band, marching band in high school. Senior year, however, there was a scheduling conflict and, being occasionally a little dim, decided to take a second year of physics rather than band. It's been a major regret since that summer's band camp began. Eight years later, a letter comes home in her youngest brother's progress report about an alumni marching band marching with the the high school band during the homecoming parade. Only two weeks lead time, three attempts at finding

a working instrument, one song that I haven't played since junior year and one I've never played before but fortunately know well. Seeing my very first band director and instructor again for the first time since he retired when I was in sixth grade was also a [[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming Crowning Moment of Heartwarming]], stepping off again while playing what had basically been our band's anthem at the top of my lungs was unforgettable and I'll never hear Bon Jovi's Livin' ''On A Prayer'' again without grinning at the memory. In addition to being awesome, it also provided the closure that I've been needing since I was seventeen. * This troper and his brother were in Acting during high school. For our final, we had to perform quite a few scenes and monologues to a public audience. My brother performed a monologue about a man expressing severe guilt after committing vehicular manslaughter on his son while attempting a murder/suicide with his wife. The awesome part? His performance was so strong that he caused a lady to leave the show sobbing. * This troper's sister kinda got one... when she was three or four. My dad's at a convention-type thing, and [[Seinfeld The Soup Nazi himself]] happened to be there with his kid. So my dad and The Soup Nazi say their hellos and talk, and my dad agrees that he should have some "street cred" by letting his kid play with The Soup Nazi's kid. I wasn't even born yet, but you gotta admit, having your kid play with an actor's kid is kinda awesome, so I guess my dad gets that one too. * Same troper. My stepdad was wrestling back when he was in high school in TheSeventies, and his friend is in the ring, not breathing, because he had been arm locked and his trachea impacted. So stepdad runs out, half-dressed, and gives his friend mouth-to-mouth and slaps him a few times. The cops had been called, and when they come in and tell him to stop, they say, "Get out of here! We're in charge!". My stepdad says, "You get out of here! I know what I'm doing!" He is thus yanked by his hair and thrown aside. The ambulances come and put the friend on a trach and bag. My stepdad then gets to help apply it. What makes it awesome? If he had not given mouth-to-mouth, then the friend would've died. * Although this didn't really "happen", it was still pretty awesome. This troper was dreaming he was in the middle of a forest surrounded by ''extremely'' creepy, rundown buildings. Suddenly, this crazed guy rounds a corner fifty feet away and runs at me with a knife. The only reason he caught me? Because I stood my ground to hit him with a ''sock of rocks''. He recovered, and I got stabbed in the back a few times, but still... ** A similar thing happened to me in a dream. For some reason the earth was being invaded by the xenomorphs from alien, and I got killed by one, right after I got my hands burned off by beating another one to death. * Freshman year, I was a lone nerd in a class full of jocks . One day we were playing baseball. Everyone assumed I couldn't play. When I went up to bat, I heard some one yell, "Don't worry! She can't hit!" I just rolled my eyes, and then hit a home run.

* This Troper has one: At my high school We had the A/B Schedule (Four Classes on one day, The other Four on the next, Repeat) And So on Finals day, if you were a Junior or a Senior you could be excused from taking any of your final exams BUT you had to show up for 2nd/7th Period. During her Second Period AP English, all of the kids were just chilling/chatting with friends A girl from the IB program walked into the classroom. She begin to explain how apparently several AP kids had been talking bad about IB kids, and that "This is how we deal with problems Cue about 15 kids (including the valedictorian) running into our room and pelting us with marshmallows. This troper was in the back and didn't get hit, but couldn't stop laughing because several of the AP Kids were trying to get out of the way/sitting there with a blank look on their face, not sure what was happening. Then the IB kids ran out of the room, presumably to go throw marshmallows at the class next door, This Troopers Friend, who was a former IB Kid himself (his parents being dumbnuts pulled him two weeks into the beginning of the year, causing him stress/more angst/ to miss most of the fall semester because of all the work) yelled "Ah Hellz No!" and pulled out probably the biggest NERF Gun in the history of Nerf Guns, ran out of the room....And begin shooting the IB Kids with it. They promptly came back, apologized to the teacher for disputing the class and left, leaving the bag of marshmallows behind. This troper stole the bag of marshmallows, and gave it to her bus driver to make rice krispey snacks with her granddaughter. * See this troper's EarWorm entry. * This troper used to play for a local football (soccer) team and because I had to play without my glasses during most matches my teammates were never over-joyed about me being on the pitch (not that I was particularly good with glasses) however one week I was brought on as a striker and managed to score my first goal for the team thanks to a through-ball by our captain and me going one-on-one with the keeper, the very next week I was a right-mid and I got the ball in space, I made a short run then attempted to cross it to a team-mate, the ball ended up curving towards the goal and the keeper couldn't quite reach it and ended up tipping it further into the top corner which was possibly the crowning moment of awseome for the team that season. * This troper is god awful at not finishing things. He's a wannabe writer, and has at least seven unfinished first drafts on his laptop. Add to that, his academic performance leaves a lot to be desired; allbeit in a selective school, he is often in trouble, and has a lot of difficulty staying on top of work. And add to that the fact that he is the epitome of unpopular, and is a medicated depressive. Well, he has three [=CMOA's=] to his name. First, he finished something- The Tomb, an animation- for his schools film festival. Only problem? It was banned for being too violent. Upside? Around ~150 people turned up to the film festival. The Tomb has had over 500 viewers. Second CrowningMomentOfAwesome- coming first in English in 2009- after a year of four suspensions, and a threatened expulsion. Third one? Winning

the school poetry competition with a poem written on the back of a reciept after a trip to the Australian Museum, about a mysterious stranger at the station. Might not seem like much to anyone else, but to this troper, these are the most important things he has ever achieved. * [[Tropers:Goldsmartie This troper]] was in a room with a realy irritating brat, but as he was doing nothing offencive I wouldn't do anything. But shock horror he did start being offensive (and it was getting worringly threataning) so I carmly walked over to a pile of stationary picked up a protracter ( one of those half circles that are used to meassure angles]] and through it towards him, striking him in the forhead and drawing blood. he left rather quickly, and as my freind Luke summed it up, "Protracter to the FOREHEAD!" which has become a [[MemeticMutation Memetic Mutation]] in my circle of freinds. * This troper is an Aspie and has a reputation at school for being a [[Badass Normal]] and, apparently, not grasping the concept of affection no matter how hard she tries. Anyway, an old friend from the other side of Canada came to visit. Now, she's had a crush on this guy for at least 8-9 years and only told him 2 years ago. He replied that he liked me as well, saying that he wanted to marry this troper and his parents approved (Not. Joking.) Automatically, people came up and started giving him loads of shit (I just found out two months beforehand that he was being bullied at his school) and he went into a corner and started muttering ideas to kill himself while holding back tears. This troper felt true rage. She hugged his head, stood up and walked towards the bullies and hissed, "Nobody...TALKS TO MY FUCKING FIANCEE LIKE THAT, YOU SHIT EATING DICK-FUCKER!!" And wrapped her hands around his throat. It took about three students and one teacher to wrench her hands away. * A few minor, personal ones for this troper. ** Any time I make someone or even a group of people laugh at a joke. ** I beat my personal ThatOneLevel (a second time) and the FinalBoss in SonicColors and beat it in one try without putting too much focus onto it because I was showing off the game to my dad. *** Heck just beating any FinalBoss for the first time. ** I had never played... uhh, foosball (not sure how to spell it) in my life. Ever. Not really anyway. At a friend's house we were all having a party and a girl asked if I wanted to play her. Okay fine. It was pretty close but I managed to win. And I doubt I even used proper playing techniques. Granted it's not like she was an expert either, but still. ** Entering a contest that his friends suggested and then won. Then found out that they were only joking when they said I should enter. Still felt great. * Compared to all you amazing people, this is minor, but one of proudest Moments came a few years back, when I was the Music Director for my college's radio station. I had a band in for an interview (which, if I may quickly mention, is one of my favourite bands. Those

girls play some amazing music! Check out Sick of Sarah on YouTube). For months, I had painstakingly planned everything out so that this interview with said favourite band would go off without a problem. I was not going to have ANYTHING stand in the way. So, about halfway through, when the station's resident jackass (who's had many disciplinary problems) decided that I was being "flirty" with them on air, said jackass comes into the studio, pushes his way onto the mic, and declares me to be an idiot. Now, this kid has a rather amusing speech impediment that he's very sensitive about. I turn to him, and say, "(name), get the fuck out of my station and TAKE your GOD DAMNED SPEECH IMPEDIMENT WITH YOU, AND NEVER COME BACK!" He did, and he never did come back. The beautiful thing? The audience never heard a word of either him OR my bitch-out. As soon the word 'back' left my lips, I cut the last ten seconds of the interview, so it never was broadcast. ** And [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=952lShwCeJg in here]], at about fifty seconds in, you can SEE footage from them in the radio station. The Tripp pants on the right and the voice at 2:40? Yeah, hello! :-) * This Troper was at a friends party, where we all played GuitarHero : Warriors of Rock. I was on vocals, which being not the best singer in the world, I was a little uncomfortable with, but I quickly grew into it. Then, we tried out Bohemian Rhapsody. Moments before the song started, I quickly told everyone to get in close and sing along, perfectly mimicking the Music Video. Now, imagine doing the whole song doing stuff like that. It. Was. Epic. * [[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Tropers/DarkSpiritBomb This Troper]] had one. He was in Gym class, when two girls (who forgot their gym clothers) were sitting on the side lines yelling at everyone to 'go faster!' Having enough, I yelled at them to shut up so it echoed through the entire gym. And got some much needed applause. * This one doesn't belong to me, but to my mother. One night I was extremely late getting home from band practice. While I was waiting inside a [=McDonald's=] for the next bus to come, my mother decided to go out and look for me. As she was walking down the street, she noticed a van pulling up and stopping a few blocks ahead of her. She crosses the street and sees the van crossing over to her side and pulling up on the corner. Several guys jump out the van and head towards my mom. Mom turns and runs away, trying to put as much distance between her and her pursuers as possible. She ends up running into a dollar store and hiding in one of the isles. The store clerk was telling her she had to leave because he was closing up. After my mom tells him she's being chased by some men, the store clerk hides her behind the counter right before the men come into the store. The men are asking the store clerk if he's seen a woman run into the store, with the store clerk steadily lying right to the guy's face. The leave and after a moment, she gets up and leaves the store. Another van pulls up and my mother prepares to run again, but it only turns out to be my stepfather. When I finally made it home, my mom proceeds to [[{{ArmorPiercingSlap}} slap me seven ways to Sunday]] for forgetting to call her. * [[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Tropers/TurboJ This troper]] was at London MCM Expo in October last year, cosplaying as the

[[TeamFortress2 Engineer]] and hanging out with the Valve group. He heard someone singing Still Alive to himself. This Troper joined in. Pretty soon, other joined. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYdca4V3ko Eventually, the entire group was singing.]] Best. Expo. Ever. * In Grade 10, I had one involving a Girl who asked if I would do her (I'm not making this up). I the told her that "I wouldn't do her if you were the last girl on Earth." There were people talking about that for days after that, praising Yours Truly about the comeback. Natually, I was quite happy about that. I'm now in Grade 11 and still have yet to top that. * This troper's now-late grandfather. he isn't famous, his name isn't in any history books or mentioned in war movies. he was a pilot during WWII, and flew six successful missions against Germany. The plane was hit on the seventh, and started to go down- while spinning. He manged to get the plane under control while his team bailed out, insisting everyone get out before him. when everyone else was clear, he parachuted out. upon landing, he was captured by Germans. he was not yet twenty-one, but he saved everyone on his plane, and survived himself. * This troper's Crowning Moment of Awesome happened roughly 15 minutes ago. Me and a friend spontaneously lip synched all of ''The Touch'' and it was awesome. * This troper beat Zelda II, having navigated Death Mountain and the Valley of Death. Without the candle. Basically, he spent 90 percent of those difficult areas in complete darkness. And still beat the hardest game in the series. * Doubles as an epic fail, but here we go. One valentines day, this troper wanted to give her childhood friend homemade cake. Remember that I'm terrible at cooking. I didn't find a chance to give it to him, so after school, I saw him walking out of the main entrance. I picked up the cake tin, and hurled it out the second story window at him. Believe it ot not, it hit his head. The kicker? It wasn't the cake tin that gave him concussion, it was the rock hard cake inside. But were still good, and he appreciated it. * Another one from [[Tropers/JusticeReaper me]], only this one happens to go to my father. In a nutshell: A few years ago he was afflicted by colon cancer, which is said to be one of those types of cancer that you don't recover from. '''HE BEAT IT.''' ** I'm crying right now. You made such a simple description, but it made me happy like you wouldn't believe. Good for you. * This troper was sitting at lunch eating his food. Before finishing lunch an acquaintance revealed that something was wrong with a friend and that he needed to be talked to. Replied, "Why do I have to do it?" "Because everyone expects it of you." I walked up a little annoyed and found out he was contemplating suicide. I immediately followed up with, "Do it," and proceeded to tell him ways he should do it. After walking back and continuing to eat my lunch the other guy was in shock. After finishing my lunch, my friend walked up to me and said, "Thank you for teaching me that my problems aren't that bad and that I need to just deal with it." The guy was even more shocked. * I had one today playing online Wolfenstein: Enemy Territory. I am not very good at FPS games, but somehow, while being a Covert Op

(sniper/spy class) I managed to hit a rocket fired by a Soldier (heavy weapons class), blowing it up in midair and probably saving some fo my teammates, and then sniped the Soldier himself in the head. And then I went on sniping people and getting a 5-kills Killing Spree. I seldom stay alive for more than a couple kills, ''and usually I get killed without even doing half a life bar damage.'' I felt very good for that. * There was just an attempted hit and run in front of this troper's house. The [=CMoA=] was for our neighbor, who literally chased the guy that caused the accident down the street and dragged him back when he tried to flee. He's not exactly athletic or in shape, either. * This troper had a very rough time his elementary school to middle school years; I have a severe case of ADHD, which we (then) treated with high dosages of Concerta. The medicine had several side-effects, such as loss of appetite, nervousness, and being very withdrawn, meaning I was the fifty lb. awkward kid nobody knew, and had no social skills. Naturally, this led to being bullied by multiple other students. One day, after school in eighth grade, one of my tormentors walked by and hit my head into a locker, knocking me down, and walked away laughing with his friends. At this point, something in me snapped. In a completely calm and silent manner, I glided behind him, grabbed him by the back of the hair, and *slammed* his face into the closest locker, knocking him out, breaking his nose, and generally ruining his day. As everyone in the hallway stared at me in complete silence, probably wondering if I was going to go postal, I calmly told him 'Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth, bitch." I was never bullied again after that. * A few years back, [[Tropers/{{Bronzethumb}} this troper]] was part of an extremely tight-knit forum (it's since closed down, but most of the people are all Facebook friends now and see each other in person a lot anyway), and one day, this happy forum was plagued by trolls. We'd never had trolls before, never even had a need for moderators because everyone was so genuinely nice to one another. But then these trolls showed up, and not just any trolls: teenage boys, whose sole reason for getting on this forum and insulting or offending everybody they could was to piss off [[Tropers/{{Bronzethumb}} this troper]]. So one at a time, I called up their mothers, said hello, asked how their days had been, and then told them exactly what their children had been doing. I know: on one hand, kinda childish. On the other hand, a bunch of internet trolls started insulting my friends and acting like dicks, so I called up their mothers at home, made sure the trolls were punished and got their X-Boxes confiscated to boot. I'm gonna take the win. * In Christmas 2005, my [[FormerTeenRebel Uncle]] [[CoolOldGuy Dave]] sang ''[[TheBeatles Yellow Submarine]]'' for the family and I got to sit on his lap, because I sang that at summer camp earlier that year. He also sang John Denver. Um... yeah. * Just before my Maths GCSE my year group was waiting outside the hall we were due to take the exam in. As usual I, a rather introverted and teased girl (though not bullied, I have to say; I was affectionately regarded as a bit of a loner) had my head buried in a book. In this case it was a Maths book, I was doing a bit of last minute cramming.

Some boys were relieving their tension by kicking a football about. They definitely didn't mean to kick it towards me, but I heard a shout and, barely thinking, spun around and stuck out my foot in order to try and kick the ball away from me. I wasn't expecting to manage it, what I was actually expecting was either pain or looking ike a fool. But, because of the foot eye coordination I'd developed, I exceeded my expectations. The result was that I booted the ball over everyone's heads, over a hedge and down the small slope on the other side of it...all without (apparently) looking up from my book. I like to think the buzz it gave me helped with the exam. * DaftPunk + HumansAreSpecial = THIS. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4misLIGq04) * A friend of a friend of this troper has had the most awesome moment of his life. He knows and accepts that his life will never reach the same levels of awesome again. He was inside with his classmates during a particularly close thunderstorm, where even the teachers were starting to get nervous, and being the joker he was jokingly stood up, punched the air and shouted "I AM THE GOD OF LIGHTENING!" Whereupon the largest lightening bolt anyone present had ever witnessed hit a tree outside, shorted out all of the lights and sent everyone screaming for cover. Except for this guy, who was still stood, arm raised, never having flinched from his epic pose. Like I said, he knows that no matter how hard he tries, his life will never reach such levels of awesome ever again. * While it may not be as awesome as some of the others, this tropers moment of awesome came when she was playing {{Tales of Symphonia}}. During the battle with Iapyx, she eventually ran out of life bottles and other healing potions, and soon the only character in her party of remain alive was Raine. This troper defeated Iapyx. With only Raine. * My [=CMoA=] was in Grade 6. I was the weakest kid in my class. We also used to play Capture The Flag a lot in that grade. I was pretty bad at the game too. So then, during the last Gym class of the year, we decided to play it again. We had slightly different teams than usual, and the enemy team just piled up on us with a 100% offense. Our team had to go on the complete offensive. I quietly snuck on the other side. There I found the flag after several minutes. And there was no one on the enemy side. And I walked the flag back to our side. From the back of the enemy side. No one suspected a thing. So when I raise the flag above my head and yell "I HAVE THE FLAG!" all the way to my team members, and the enemy team is stumped because the WEAKLING won the game, it was a [=CMoA=] * This troper's grandfather had one. The man is 58 years old, has diabetes, a bad leg, and is incredibly inactive (he spends all day at home on his chair watching TV), not to mention he's possibly the most benevolent member of our family. But when my sister, being the bitch she is, started mouthing off his wife like she tends to do to the point where my grandfather wouldn't tolerate anymore, [[LetsGetDangerous he got dangerous.]] That old man chased that healthy 16 year old up those stairs like the Devil himself, faster than he should have been capable of. Also doubled as a CrowningMomentofFunny. * This tropers friend got one, when he and his team in a airsoft

gunfight chose probably the most awesome tactic he's ever heard of. Think about it: You think the team would be able to fire at you after you just ''stole all of their ammo from behind their back!'' In the end, they gave it back, since the other team would tell on them, but the sheer fact they pulled that off is crazy. * This troper while playing Resident Evil 5 on co-op had somehow found a way to become the reaper's bait while her friend got away scot free, and she had somehow gotten stuck behind a box, on a conveyor belt, while the damned thing chased her. Cue last second escape to the second conveyor belt, with out boxes, while the flames of death were behind her. Also cue the agonizing screams from the very reaper that had killed her and her teammate five times previously. That act made this troper feel pretty awesome about herself for luring the monster into almost killing itself. * This troper was at dinner with her friend's family, who are ALL (mother, sister, stepfather, and friend) devout [[FanNickname Who]][[Series/DoctorWho vians.]] In an argument (about DW, natch), the sister declared, "You're the Master! Nobody likes you!" Everyone at the table, without missing a beat, started drumming. * This troper's dad actually stumped that stupid KGB service for cell phones. He asked who the five captains of the [[StarTrek starship Enterprise]] were. He knew it. They didn't. They said something along the lines of "Old Kirk, new Kirk". * {{Tropers/Unshavenhobo}}: I get a few of these playing my Demonology warlock in World of Warcraft. ** I have made a single-button macro for the Metamorphosis ability, which transfers you into a hulking horned, winged hard-to-kill demon with enormous power for a short time. The macro consists of that transformation as well as pointing at my target and yelling that they are NOT PREPARED in imitation of a big bad from WoW of similar appearance to the demon form, and using several items and abilities which again increase my destructive capabilities. I have a habit of using this midair and crashing down on top of my stunned, bewildered and immolated opponents, who generally die within a few seconds. ** In the middle of a fight, I noticed somebody escaping by levitating down a cliff. Not about to have any of that, I parachuted down and tangoed with them and two other people, one of whom fled the scene. I burninated the other once I was done with my original target. They were not prepared. ** I was invited to a LAN party with some friends to play Defence of the Ancients, a game which they had just started playing. They asked me if I had been playing it for long, to which I replied (while concealing a grin) that no, I had not, and informed them that I was 'noob at DoTA'. I then proceeded to use my 4 years' experience playing the game to curb stomp the lot of them. Good times. * A story from junior high band: When you play a tuba, you're used to not carrying the melody. Well, on our arrangement of a medley from BeautyAndTheBeast, I got to play the title phrase in the climax. Big responsibility. The last note of the phrase was a high C. Now, the tuba has a two-octave range and mostly plays in the lower octave, where the third valve is used to get precision on the notes. In the upper octave, no third valve, which means that an A-flat and a C are

the same fingering, and you have to rely on the tightness of your lips to get the right note. I practiced my butt off the week before the concert trying to make sure I hit a C instead of an A-flat. We had two concerts, the in-school one for the students and the night one for everybody. When I showed off all my practice for the in-school concert, the conductor told me afterwards that I still was playing the A-flat. I was devastated. With no more time to practice, I resigned myself to getting it wrong again that night. Comes the big phrase, I tighten my lips and blow as hard as I can. The conductor looks right at me and mouths, "YES!!" * In P.E, we just started doing Rugby again. We're doing some training in tag rugby. I was a little cautious at first, but when I got some encouragement I almost won the game for us. (It was because of the kid who dropped the ball and ran away when 6 people came running at him.) * This tropers best friend had an epic one. This troper, aforementioned best friend (K), a girl(M) who K had had a crush on for ages, and her boyfriend(D) (who we had been told by M that he had hit her) were sat in a bar having a drink when, purely by accident, M spilled her drink, provoking a tirade from D about how stupid she was and other things that don't really belong here, suffice to say reason you such speech is an understatement, when suddenly D punched M in the face. This troper was in a state of shock, mainly because he and K are completely against violence towards women but caused K to get up, stare with a fury that this troper has never seen before at D and deliver a speech along the lines of "Listen to me you fucking ape(K is a raging misanthrope and refers to people he doesn't like as apes), I don't care who you are, I don't care that you're in a relationship with a girl I've had feelings for for ages, but you do not EVER! HIT! A! WOMAN!" At this point D had gotten up and threw a punch at K (who happens to be a black belt in some form of martial art, this troper cant remember the style) who took it in the cheek. K immediately hops backwards into a fighting stance with one leg slightly raised and calls D a dumbass for what hes done (according to English law, self defence is only a valid defence when used in response to an attack or the fear of an imminent attack, in effect D had justified Ks next actions by using force), causing D to move forwards to punch, only to be met with a kick to the side of the head, K to move into a new stance, then on Ds next charge, duck under the hook, deliver a series of chain punches to the stomach, grabbing Ds arm, breaking it over his shoulder and throwing D over the same shoulder in a windmill motion. On turning to M to check if she was OK, the barman came over and told him to stay where he was and that the police were on their way, causing this troper to pull out a law revision guide (I'm a law student and had been to a tutorial and hadn't went home yet) and quote the legal principals regarding self defence, pointing out that the bars CCTV footage would show D threw the first punch and kept on coming, legitimating Ks use of force, and that any charges wouldn't stand up in court. However M asked us to wait so that we could speak to the police, she pressed charges against D (specifically for battery). A CrowningMomentOfAwesome for M for finally standing up to a long time abuser, and one for K for (stupidly) blindingly ignoring the law to deal with a grade-A scumbag.

* This troper is a average chess player and a very poor tactician, so beating the teacher in charge of the school's chess club, who had been unbeaten prior to that game, qualifies as this in my book. Did I mention the teacher is in his thirties and I'm eighteen in May? Oh, and I only really got into chess in April 2010, when I played for the first time in two years and managed to beat my dad, who had consistantly won against me since I was about eight (he tried to teach me the rules and, on the most part, was successful, although tactics didn't form at all), three times (the fourth one, I lost by a foolsmate: ask a chess expert if you don't know what that is, but it is a spectaculally embarassing thing to happen at the best of times). Granted, the game in question was roughly our thirtieth, but all of the other games had been consistant losses, so make of that what you will. ** I also remembered a second one: I once was playing Gen 1 Pokemon and had to fight the rival prior to fighting Team Rocket in the town of the sixth gym (sorry about poor terminology, not played Gen 1 Pokemon for over six months). Now, I wasn't have a particularly good battle and, by the time I got to his last pokemon (a level 40 or so Garydos), I had a [[CurbStompBattle level 15 or so Oddish]]. [[BeyondTheImpossible I BEAT THE RIVAL WITH IT]]. Cue feeling of awesomeness and laughing so hard that I had to turn off the game (after saving, of course) to recover myself enough to continue. * [[Tropers/SergeantLuke I]] once got into an argument with another user in a YouTube comments page. I don't quite remember exactly what it was about, but the guy presented the evidence to his side and as I read through it, I cam to realize that he was right and I was wrong. I told him so, and said "forget I said anything". Yes, that's right. The guy ''won an argument [[BeyondTheImpossible ON THE INTERNET]]''. ** You made me curious, what was the argument about? * An NPC enemy in a DungeonsAndDragons game this troper was running had one. Said NPC is a [[SquishyWizard 5th level mage]]. The party was made up of 5 characters, all at least 6th level, most fighters or some variant thereof. NPC attacks them (intended to be a relatively easy fight) and proceeds to ''[[CurbStompBattle completely wipe the floor with them]]'', actually killing two. The best part? They ''never dealt him any damage''. '''At all'''. Obviously, said NPC will have to become a [[RecurringCharacter recurring villain]], since he's just too awesome to waste (and my players will want revenge...). * Ok, this is a very minor one for this troper, and i don't even remember it as it was in pre-school. Anyways, this troper was always a shy, meek, push around type kid at that time. Until one moment where another kid decided to come up and take his lunch snack donut. This troper however, was fed up, walked over, pushed the other kid down and proceded to reclaim the donut, never to be bothered again. Untill my inner geek came out in elementary school. * This troper has a story back in high school. This involves some degree of setup as well. His brother (J) was given hell throughout high school until one day everything changed. It started when J got into a fight with a kid (C) who was making fun of him for ink stains on his shirt. He lost out to C, was completely humiliated and decided to hit back next time. The following day, C was pratting about outside

of class. J walked up to him and said "full of yourself aren't you?" C replied "I'm good looking, I'm funny, I'm clever, I'm a big hit with the ladies so yeah, I am full of myself. How many ladies have you had today? Or can't you count to zero". At this point, J pointed his finger at the C and said "watch your mouth" but before he'd even finished his sentence, J closed his fist belted C hard in the nose. C looked completely shocked as his nose began to bleed and furiously tried to get at him but he was already walking away saying "I'm walking away, what more do you want?" J walked straight to the principal's office and told her exactly what he'd done so it was impossible to punish him. That's not all however as J also had his photo taken for the school newsletter due to a a recent (coincedental) trophy win with the bloodstains had to be digitally removed from his shirt. J gained new respect with people coming up to him congratulating him (since C had been treating his girlfriends like crap.) There's no ill feeling between J and C nowadays but the bloodstains from the nosebleed are still on the floor. * Many years ago, in California, a young black boy (the only one in his class, if This Troper is correct) was asked by the teacher what do you call someone who likes to set fires. The accepted term at the time was "firebug." The boy's answer? "Pyromaniac." The exact term caught the teacher by surprise, to say the least. That little boy? [[Tropers/{{Bannermanonemillion}} This Troper's]] father. * [[Tropers/PanBoleyn This Troper's]] high school had a competition between the four years called Color Games. The seniors had ''always'' won. (Using first person from this point.) My freshman year, the two teachers who served as our coaches encouraged us to challenge that status quo, telling us we could win it. (This was a crowning moment for them too, because they went to bat for us, hard.) Everyone else said all the freshman coaches said that, it wasn't true, and the seniors would win anyway. We won. We also went on to win a second year in a row, and though we lost junior year due to our own arrogance, we came back to take it again senior year - incidentally, we were the first senior class to win since the year we broke tradition to begin with, as the sophomores won our junior year. I also had a personal crowning moment as a freshman, being the more active half of the duo that completely trounced our sophomore opponents in the English academic competition. But when they announced on the PA that the seniors had taken second place, meaning the freshmen had won... My classroom, and all the other freshman classes, literally exploded in cheers. We also had Torment The Freshmen day in February rather than September, but it was worth it. ** The top crowning moment of the entire first win was this. In most things, you competed directly with the year right above or below you. So the freshmen were only meant to face sophomores. The final set of competitions were various athletic ones, including tug-of-war. Then it was sprung on us that there would be a second tug-of-war between the freshmen and the seniors. Fourteen and fifteen year olds vs. seventeen and eighteen year olds. The freshmen won, and that is how we clinched the games. * This isn't much, but... a girl in my grade who was sort of my friend (friends of friends) made a video and entered it in this contest. She

won an honorable mention, so we watched her video on the morning announcements. A kid in my German class, who is possibly the biggest Jerkass anyone will ever meet, started making fun of it and making stupid comments. Now, I normally don't say much, just kind of exist, but I told him to SHUT UP. I got a round of applause. * [[Tropers/JosephL This Troper]] has a peak, albeit long-inactive, rating in competitive Scrabble of 1149. For perspective, the cutoff for "intermediate" is 1200, and it's 1600 for "expert," though many people consider "true experts" at 1700+. And yet, my record against players rated 1900+ (and I'm taking from the time of the actual match, since ratings can fluctuate wildly) is 2-1. One win was in a club game against someone who once finished 2nd in a National Scrabble Competition, and the other was in an online game against someone who once finished 5th in that same competition (different year). The fact that my online win was quickly followed by a rematch where I got [[CurbStompBattle curbstomped]] by over 200 points did little to dampen my [=CMoA=]. * Back in my Sophomore year of High School we had a Soccer Unit for our Gym class. This unit takes place during the rainiest part of the year, between February and April, and even though it peaks 112 F in the summer, it rains like hell here during that time, and the field we play on gets incredibly muddy. Now, then I was only about 140 pounds, tall, thin and lanky, and I wasn't a fan of running around, I also live in a town that is mostly Hispanic, and they are soccer nuts, which means most of my class mates were exceptionally good at the sport, and I was white and a total nerd. So while it was pouring outside, the other time thought it was a good idea to play dirty. And I had been tripped a few times, so by then I was covered in mud, we needed to make a final push to the goal to break the tie, and I had blocked one of there kicks and began to run it back, and about half way, someone tried to trip me. THIS time, I anticipated it and jumped over the kids body, landed on my right arm, rolled, and got back up with out missing a step and went on to score. That was my CM of A... I am also now a mud child. :3 * This troper is ''not'' athletic. In fact, the only physical exertion I'm halfway decent at is running, because of my rather extreme pacing habit. Nevertheless, two of my three Crowning Moments of Awesome were both pulled off at a YMCA during our makeshift Homeschool Co-op P.E. Class, and the third was during a dodgeball game a couple years later. ** The first was during a soccer game. Since I was hardly agressive, and ''not'' athletic, I was placed on defense. My primary strategy was to wait until the ball was kicked my way, and slam it to the other side of the field. In this particular game, the ball came my way and I kicked it ''over the heads of the other players, off the roof of the arena we were playing in, and straight into the goal of the other team.'' We lost the game in terms of score, but not in terms of sheer win. ** The second was during a game of ultimate frisbee in the aforementioned roofed arena. I had taken the habit of running to the goal area of the field, in order to attempt to catch a long-range frisbee throw. This actually scored a lot of goals for our team, and

became our regular tactic. The [=CMoA=] came when one throw went way too high for me to catch. (I was over 6 ft. tall at the time, to give you an idea.) My solution? ''I actually attemted, and succeded, in wall-jumping and catching the frisbee.'' We won that game. Overwhelmingly. ** The last Moment was during a game of Dodgeball, the only game I'm good at because I'm quite good at dodging. I had recently moved to a new state, so my opponents had not yet realised that fact. they started to pick it up after I dodged every shot thrown at me for an entire match, but they didn't quite grasp it until near the end of the match. In a not-uncommon situation, I was the last person still in play on my team. In a slightly less common variation, they had all 6 dodgeballs on their side. They decided that the best way to end the game was to throw them all at once, which they did. ''I dodged every single one of them.'' We lost, of course, but the reactions from everyone present was well worth it. * A recent exam in [[{{Tropers/MisterVercetti}} this Troper's]] Web Architecture class didn't go well for most people. Roughly a quarter of the class failed it, with about half of the remaining three quarters barely averting failure. This Troper aced it. Whereas he was definitely a [[MemeticBadass Memetic (Academic) Badass]] amongst his fellow CIS students before, this particular moment basically megaconfirmed and immortalized it. * Not as awesome as some of the other examples on this page, but here it goes. This troper frequently plays dodgeball in P.E class. He dodged 27 balls in a row and was not out the entire game. To this day he is almost always the last one standing on his team, and his earned himself quite a reputation. If only his aiming skills were better... * This troper has had 2 in his life. The first one: ** My mom decided to take me and my brother to a comedy show in Norfolk, VA. But these weren't just normal comedians, oh no. These comedians were COLIN MOCHRIE and BRAD SHERWOOD. So we went it, took our seat, and the show started. I laughed my ass off, of course. But then Brad Sherwood asked for young audience participation (I was 11 at the time.) I didn't want to go, because I was shy and thought I was ugly. But my brother shoved me up there, and both Brad and Colin came up to me and shook my hand. Colin says, "What's your name, son?" I said, "Bowen." He then turned to the audience and said, "EVERYBODY, GIVE A HAND FOR BOWEN!" Cue the audience standing up and distributing thunderous applause. I decided to wear a mile-wide grin for the rest of the night. ** The Second one is video game related: Super Smash bros. Brawl, to be specific. Keep in mind I DIDN'T EVEN OWN THE GAME! Anyways, my friends picked Ike and Meta Knight. I picked LUCAS. Smash balls on very low, no items, Final Destination. I get my ass handed to me, but I returned most of it. Now, my damage levels were at about 210%, and Ike and Meta Knight's were at about 50%. Lo and Behold, a smash ball decided to show its face, and while Ike was spamming aethers and Meta Knight was tornadoing everywhere, trying to get it, I jumped up and snatched the Smash Ball. Jumping once again, I called it in, not even sure if it happened. I shut my eyes in anticipation, But then I heard: "PK! STARSTORRRRRRRM!" Cue my opponents getting owned, and the

announcer shouting "GAME!" I opened my eyes, and it said: and the winner is! LUCAS! Once again, I threw on a giant grin for the rest of the night. * This troper was once playing BlackJack at school during lunch. I had never played BlackJack before but understood the game. It went something like this ** "Hit me. Hit me. Hit me." "Dude, if you have anything but an ace on the other side of that card, you're definitely gonna bust." "Hit me." He gives me the card, and in silence I reveal that I did have an ace. I won that game. * This troper once had to deal with a troll on his site, after perma banning him, the troll responded with some rather nasty attacks, and I decided to respond with one of the greatest comebacks i have ever written ** "Dear Troll *** You seem to be wallowing in your own self pity so much that you believe you are a victim or hero. You are a victim like a criminal is a victim of the justice system and Ill explain why. *** 1: I was receiving multiple requests to permanently ban you from the site and I attempted to ignore it. How ever I continued to receive more and more requests before I finally allowed -tropers friend- to remove you from the site. Tell me if you were doing nothing wrong why did I get multiple requests to have you permanently banned? *** 2: Your idea that you can shut down my site by reporting it to main HQ operates on flawed logic. What reasons do you have besides me allowing you to be permanently banned? Its my site, that means I am allowed to do what I want since my family pays to keep it running, I could permanently ban anyone without any reason if I wanted to. Also what kind of hero tries to shut down a site and ruin a lot of peoples fun just to get back at one person. *** 3: nearly everyone on the site dislikes you now. This should be obvious considering that the members are the ones that wanted you removed from the site not me, it was their vote, I merely gave them what they wanted. *** 4: You still need to work on your grammar, its best to work this out before sending me a threat. You also shouldnt use swears, it makes you seem like an immature brat. *** 5: I hate people that pretend to be the good guys, theyre always stuck in their self pity and wont realize that no one else thinks theyre the good guys and that they are much worse than they believe. I have no problems admitting Im a complete monster that crawled out of disgusting muck from the darkest corners of this earth, how ever I wont let my site and my friends be threatened by some one that thinks hes a hero and deserves everything when is just as bad as me. *** 6: so lastly in summary of all this. You bastard (for threatening to shut down the site just to get back at me regardless of how

innocent people might get hurt) and You suck (as well as your grammar, manners and everything you stand for)." * A bit [[MostTropersAreYoungNerds Nerdy,]] but [[{{Tropers/IlluminatedDarkness}} This troper]] scored the median on her ACTs and SATs. She's in 7th grade, and she didn't study at all. * This troper among other female tropers passed humans through their bodies. That is our moment of awesome. Sometimes, we even have multiple [=CMOAs=]. Happy Mother's Day! * This tropette, who isn't one to do any spontaneous things, recently particpated in a scavenger hunt. And one of the tasks required for the hunt was to hunt for pirate coins around a large fountain in the centre of town. Seeing as how my vision is crap at night (when the hunt took place) and I really wanted my team to win, I literally dove into the fountain to fish out the coins that we needed to finish the task. We didn't get a prize and I had to sit through a showing of The Goonies in soaking wet clothes, but gaining the admiration of my team was priceless. * It's kind of a small moment. A few years ago, my father and I were sitting on the backyard, talking about something. We hear a slight crash in my neighbors yard. I look up, and I see a tuft of white fur laying on top of an air conditioning block. I told my dad an animal fell. Cue dad launching himself over three fences in 4 seconds flat and rushing over. (It was a bunny, his face was bleeding, but he'd be fine. We let him into the wild after a week or two when he was better.) Let me remind you that my dad was 42, and has a metal artificial hip. He's such a badass though. * This troper (I/me) feels she got (a small) one in 12th grade. I was in concert choir and for our concert, we were doing something new: have two songs, one just for the boys and one just for the girls. The boys got Can't Help Falling In Love With You (which was [[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming my choir teacher and his wife's wedding song]]). We (the girls) got a song called [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=656bsoJirdE&feature=related Frobisher Bay]] which is about a crew on a whaler's ship freezing to death while on a whaling trip. It's a very beautiful song, which just made the events leading up to my CrowningMomentOfAwesome all the more irritating. See, there were these girls in my section (Soprano I) who, after class and after concerts, would jokingly sing portions of whatever song we were doing at the time extremely loud and off-key, and sometimes just outright badly. It usually wasn't a big deal, and most of the girls were otherwise perfectly nice people. One of them, whom we'll called A, though, could be incredibly obnoxious, and she's the one who triggered this. So it was after the concert, and I was walking to the parking lot with a friend of mine and her mom, who was driving me home. A was walking next to me since her car was in the same area, and she was singing Frobisher Bay in that horribly off-key, obnoxious tone because it was haha so funny, and for some reason, at that moment, it finally got to me. So I turned to her and gave her the

absolute strongest DeathGlare I could muster. She immediately shut up, muttered an apology and high tailed it out of there. * [[{{Tropers/Marr965}} This troper]] HATES rugby, so much so that, at the end of year 11, he said "Thank goodness I don't have to play rugby ever again." In one game, he had the ball, and was running. Then got tackled, within arms reach of the touch line. Instead of dropping the ball behind him, he reached out, and plonked it just the other side of the touch line. [=CMoA=] kinda ruined when the other kids said it didn't count, but it did, as it was within 3 seconds of the fall. Needless to say, I felt proud of myself. ** I also pulled one today. Annoying kid walks up to me, after distracting me repeatedly. I. Just. Stare. Crossed with CrowningMomentOfFunny when he backs away and runs around the nearby corner. * Not this troper personally, but a mumber of her favourite band. A few years ago, the singer decided it would be a good idea to jump off a rather high speaker stack. He landed badly, and broke his knee. He still finished the set on his back underneath the keyboard. * Same troper as above. Also not her personally, but a close friend. Walking home from school, and some girls in the year below decide to start pulling my friends (rather long) hair. Said friend turned around, and hit them with a cushion she had brought in for a drama peformance. * Three from this troper: ** A member of my {{Nakama}} (centred around [[Fanfic/LivingWithDanger]] of all things) succeeded in calling the British emergency services from ''Kentucky'', I still don't know exactly how, in order to prevent me from committing suicide. An honourable mention goes to the police who responded to the call, who stayed calm and professional throughout, despite the fact I had a knife in my hand and that this took place mere days after a fellow police officer was stabbed to death in the high street. (And yes, I do feel bad about doing that with the benefit of hindsight and professional help.) ** A few years after that, I got to pay it onwards. A good friend came on AIM one evening in a foul mood, having learned his girlfriend had been cheated on him. We talked, I gave him what advice I could and he seemed a little happier by the time he signed off. I found out later that he'd had a .38 in his lap the whole time, and that without my intervention he would have put it to his head. ** More recently, my next-door-neighbour's particularly unpleasant ex tricked his way into the building and then her apartment. Immediately, the ''entire population of the building'' all but broke out the TorchesAndPitchforks, and when the police arrived they weren't sure if they were arresting him or saving his life. Mrs Sullivan from Number 23 also gets aspecial mention for talking a certain hotheaded TV Tropes affectionado down from going after the son of a bitch with a kitchen knife. * This troper has been teased and bullied all of his life ever since he was a kid, and has somehow remained an {{Iron Woobie}} but one thing I loved to do was watch [[WWE professional wrestling.]] [[DwayneJohnson The Rock]]'s confidence and [[JerkAss Jerk ass-iness]]

I instantly fell in love with, not realizing that I loved him because of it. And when he left, I was [[UnderStatement a tad upset.]] I still watched wrestling. On the day of 2/14/11, I was horribly bullied that day. But that happens to me every day... but then my Mom told me my grandmother died. I didn't know what to do. The only thing that I had left to look forward to was [[WWERaw Monday Night Raw.]] [[MegatonAnnouncement Then the guest host of Wrestlemania 27 was revealed. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE WELCOME.... THE HOST OF WRRRRRRESTLEMANIA 27]]... insert MANY {{Beat}}s .............. [[AndThereWasMuchRejoicing IF YA]] [[AndTheFandomRejoiced WHAT THE ROCK]] [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome IS COOKING!]] I was...[[UnderStatement ecstatic.]] But then he said something that changed my life forever: -->'''The Rock''': This arena held [[ThirdPersonPerson The Rock's]] first match at a Wrestlemania. But... he was NERVOUS. That's right, The Rock was nervous! But...something happened that night. The Rock decided [[CatchPhrase TO BRING IT!]] And that night was the unofficial birth of Team Bring It. But The Rock is not the only ones on Team Bring It. You are all on Team Bring It! When you're on Team Bring It, you knock down doors! YOU KICK DOWN WALLS! And if anybody tells you can't..... you take all your fears! your insecurities! Your faults and your flaws, you shine em up real nice, [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome YOU TURN THOSE SONS OF BITCHES SIDEWAYS, AND STICK EM UP THEIR CANDY ASSES!!]] Thanks to [[DwayneJohnson The Rock]] I'm gonna hit the YMCA every night from now on, push my limits no matter how hard it hurts and become the strong, confident, [[DeadpanSnarker snarky]] {{Bad Ass}} I've always wanted to be. * Using repeated searches on Amazon UK to trick the system so that people searching for James Blunt saw first "wanker", then "tedious wanker" as related search terms. And getting it [[http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/10/01/james_blunt_amazon/ reported in The Register]] among other places. Hilariously, some people actually thought it was Blunt's own PR people trying to pull off a marketing stunt! * One time, [[Slaanesh this troper]] got pushed around by a bully at school. Having had enough he gathered his Nakama and challenged the bully. The smug jerk, thinking he was guranteed victory, accepted. We met on the roof of the school after class. He Begun by taunting me about the PTSD he knew I had. Suddenly, his goons grabbed my friends. Having been forced to a fight, I moved into my fighting stance. He Began to change. I stood relaxedly, simply informing him that "The predator is now the prey." He slowed. I stared him down. The bully, outmatched.Suddenly He Began to reveal he knew about my aspergers and asexuality too. That was my berserk button. I attacked, a staggering barrage that laid him low. Knowing defeat, He Began to crawl away, as his friends stared in awe. "This kid.. is.. inhuman..". I walked towards his friends and snapped a pencil as I would their spines Heh. They gathered their wounded leader, and I rested, knowing that justice had prevailed. * Recently, [[{{Tropers/Conswake}} I]] was shopping in Target and, in my boredom, began to sing A Little Fall of Rain from {{Les

Miserables}}. However, when I reached Marius' part, someone joined in. And we sang the entire duet in the middle of Target. And we were applauded. And I have no idea who he was, but he was amazing... * [[{{Tropers/Kambash}} My]] last day of freshman year was today. We had only two of our classes, because we had first and third period on Thursday. So today we had second and fourth block. My second block is German, and we we're going to sing karaoke. However, the math teacher next door complained a few days before when the seniors had to sing, for they graduated on thursday, rather than Friday. So here's where it gets interesting. See, this math teacher happened to be Polish and this is a German class next door having a wonderful time. Cue pent up butthurt over Germany invading Poland twice, as one of the seniors said after they finished their song. Because of this, the German finals today were reduced to having to answer two questions per person. However, if I didn't get in a special asignment, I would fail. Cue a girl in class who is normally mean to me, giving me an unsigned duplicate of her's. Here's where it get's better. My German teacher's policy is that if an assignment is unsigned, then whoever get's it and signs it first becomes the paper's rightful owner. Cue me get a marker and signing my first name on it and turning it in. I had to go to English next, and after the lunch bell rang, I called home so my mother could bring in an origami phoenix(Japanese, not Arabian). After lunch I was expecting to get called to the office to pick it up. I didn't. So cue me taking the English final and having to go to the library to finish it. It was there I found out my librarian is a devout Dr. Who fan. From the first episode back in 1963. After I finished the final, I got into a long nerd talk with him. Once that was finished, I gave him a link to my normal forum, and I left with pride. I ran back to class, and asked my teacher if I could sing the song I had planned for German. She said yes, but when I mentioned that I'd need the computer so I could project the video and read the lyrics with the background music playing, she said no. This made break down. I sat in a chair and cried silently in anger and disapointment. When people gathered 'round, the teacher left the room and sent me across the hall to the special needs teacher. I explained my situation and she asked if I could sing the song to her. I had her search the song. As soon as the search finished, I was called to the office. There, I got the origami phoenix, and soon claases were called out after I had gotten back to her class. I walked to the hallway and when I saw my crush, I rushed to her, and poked her back. She turned around, and I gave her the phoenix. This is where the awesome kicks in. As I rushed back to sing the song, I sang in perfect harmony with the band. The Song? "Man on Fire", by The Megas. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khgrybkBnzM&feature=related So this is what I realized as I got home, very symbolic in a way. I gave my crush a phoenix, a bird reborn in fire, and I sang a song that have to do with getting even and fire. I have become a metaphorical phoenix. This also counts as a crowning moment of heartwarming. And now David After Dentist is on the Tyra Banks Show. * So this troper was in gym class one day and they were playing a variation of dodge ball. There are people on both sides of the court, and you have to be super alert to try and not to get hit. Since I am

probably one of the worst kids in my class at sports, nobody was trying to hit me because they were getting the good people out first. So I decided to have fun with It and I started moon-walking across the court, just because I can. I never got hit. But, it was nearing the last moments of the game, and was one of the few people left on the court. Suddenly, a cocky guy behind me shouted and threw a ball at me, cue bullet time. I did [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FgKY-JJn_Do the freekin' Michael Jackson spin]] and dodged the ball by a centimeter. The guy who threw it had a dumbstruck look on his face. We won the round. * I have two from my earth/environmental class: ** Being the teacher's [[TheUnfavorite object of hatred]] for accidental tardiness (by a couple seconds) and untrue accusations of breaking the dress code [[AcceptableTargets for being tall and skinny]]. Fed up, with the BS I'd been putting up with the entire semester (and wearing pants ''every day'') from said teacher on our exam day I wore a pair of ridiculously short shorts. Cue a [[CompletelyMissingThePoint stunned expression of horror]] on said teacher before being sent to the office. I was laughing the entire way there. ** Having lived in the DeepSouth beauty pageants are the big thing for a portion of teenage girls. Being someone who viewed them as vapid and ridiculous, I tended to clash with people on this subject including [[TheLibby a]] [[BitchInSheepsClothing girl]] who was painfully active in pageants. Being somewhat tight-lipped about my opinions the last straw came when she wore her crown to earth/environmental. And so I grabbed a tiara from my old dress up chest, wore to school next day, and when said girl asked what it was for I proceeded to go a long tangent of a pageant I'd won for having a brain. It was a fun day. * Recently, this troper's school did a production of LesMiserables, which this troper loves. However, she didn't think she would be able to hit some of the girl's notes, and so, figuring she wouldn't get a part anyway, she said "What the hell" and auditioned for her favorite character: Javert. It was the most auditioned for role. This troper got the part anyway. And after seeing her go, several people decided not to even try for the part. This troper has never been more proud of herself in her life. * This troper's dad recently had one. This troper woke up at 7:00 in the morning and was trying to, shall we say, find [[TheInternetIsForPorn loopholes in his computer's parental controls.]] He clicked on one image and got a message saying that his computer was infected with a virus. He needed a password to download the antivirus software and didn't know what it was, so he went downstairs to consult his dad. Not only did his dad show him that the virus was just a practical joke set up by the bastards who set up the site, but he also deleted any files on my computer that might cause him problems in the future. Since this troper already considers his dad to be a living-embodiment-of-awesome, who would beat the living shit out of anyone who tried to hurt me or my twin brother, he felt this had to go on this page. * About two to three years ago I went to this hall where they were showing lots of short, different plays, many of the actors being

students or teachers (it was in a school). One of the plays was The Wizard of Oz. The girl playing Dorothy - who couldn't have been much older than twelve at the time - at one point fell off the stage and hit her head; she must have fallen at least three feet. She ran backstage crying, and the other actors stood about awkwardly, improvising some lines to keep the play going. Not even a minute later, the girl ''walked back on stage and continued the play''. She got a HUGE round of applause from everyone in the audience when she did this. And at the end of the show, when all the actors walked onto the stage, the girl got another huge round of applause when she walked on. It was also a CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming. * On this troper's track team, there is a runner who is colorblind. Apparently, some tool thought it was okay to mock him for this. However, his blantant asshattery gave us this memorable exchange, which doubles as a CrowningMomentofFunny: -->'''Tool''': Heh heh, so you're colorblind? -->'''Runner''': Yes. . . -->'''Tool''': [[DudeNotFunny Hah hah! So, uh, what color is my shirt?]] -->'''Runner''': Douchbag blue. * Recently, this troper's home was broken into. At around 1:30am, this troper walked into his kitchen to get a glass of water (sore throats FTL) while a burglar broke the lock on the back door. Now, being "face to face" with a man in my kitchen, this troper did what any sane man would do: he ripped the microwave of the counter and threw it at the burglar. It broke his shoulder and left him open, so I pinned him down and called 911 on my cellphone. * This troper has had several moments which count. One example was when this troper, age 6 and playing in his backyard with a toy crossbow that shot nerf pellets, was accosted by the resident bully who basically threatened his way into ordering everyone around. He'd climbed this troper's fence, and started throwing rocks and sticks at me. -->'''Me''': Sticks and stones won't break my bones, because unfortunately your aim sucks. My aim, on the other hand... I then shot said bully in the face three times with my crossbow, and sent him running away. This troper felt awesome for the following week. * Another awesome moment was when a neighborhood dick lorded how awesome he was over this troper and his five-man nakama. We got tired of it, and sent him packing with a BFG Squirtgun that fired off massive blasts of water that hurt like hell. Said dick grew extremely pissed off, and ran down the circle this troper lives on, turning the corner and going back to his house. A few minutes later, he suddenly came running on the street on a roaring rampage of revenge wielding a ten foot wooden pole. This Troper's brother ran into the house, and emerged just as the enraged dick arrived, carrying an armful of toy swords, lightsabers, etcetera, and handed them out of all five of us. A curb stomp battle of epic proportions ensued as we all evaded the dick's frenzied swipes and counterattacked with quick lunges and such. This was ramped up to eleven when our five-man band's token evil

teammate and lancer got pissed off due to his little brother getting hurt, disarmed said dick, caught the massive wooden pole, and proceeded to go on a no-holds-barred beatdown that lasted several minutes and ended with the dick running away covered in bruises and said lancer throwing the pole like a javelin and striking the dick in the back of the head, causing him to faceplant into the concrete. He ran away crying pitifully. Disproportionate retribution indeed. * Before her CharacterDerailment, this troper believed her best friend to be Queen of Awesome. Since none of you know her in real life, (I hope), I can safely tell you that she saw her dad commit suicide at a young age, her mother go through a [[HorribleJudgeOfCharacter parade of horrible boyfriends]], her sisters waste away their lives/money, was mistreated by [[EvilMatriarch her bitchy paternal grandmother]] and still managed to be a strong, independent, mature young woman who had my UndyingLoyalty for being the first person outside of my family to defend me from bullies in all the years of my life. Even teachers ignored it or told them off half-assedly. She managed to pass her exams with very high grades despite being absent for what seemed like half the school year. It's a shame she had such low self-esteem and wouldn't believe me when I told her how talented she was. She dropped out next year due to her attendance. [[ItGotWorse Her life got even worse]] and I couldn't talk to her at all without ending in her getting angry at something and me quietly disagreeing with [[BrokenBird her increasingly cynical world views]]. I've lost all contact with her. ** I also had my own, minor one about a year ago. Compared to hers, it's nothing, really, but I was pressed-ganged into joining this maths competition. To explain, it was multiple choice- you get 4 points for each correct answer, 0 for ignoring the question and -1 for every wrong answer. I didn't get most of the questions. I tried to solve them all and picked the choices closest to the answers I got, then guessed the ones I had no idea how to solve. I got 75 out of 100, the highest in the school, beating two older pupils who were taking more advanced courses. I kept the paper and, looking back, I don't remember what I did. And maths is my worst subject. ** Also, another minor one: back in the good old days my best friend and I were walking home from school when some idiot who's younger than us decided it would be funny to put his juice bottle in my friend's hood. Without thinking I grabbed it, threw it so hard at his forehead he nearly toppled backwards (from a half empty plastic bottle!) and turned back round to resume our conversation, all without breaking my stride. * This may not really constitute for a CMoA, but when this troper (continuing in first person) was eight years old, I closed my fingers on a fly zooming right towards my face. I closed my eyes putting my hands in front of me and when I opened them, I discovered the fy the space between my ring finger and pinkie. I opened my fingers and it dropped onto the floor, shocked for a few moments before flying away. I am now in uni and am still proud of that moment. * Well, this troper just got home from church. What was the awesome moment? Glad you asked! I have only had one driving lesson to date,

and my mother is allergic to the insects that float around the church. So I did what any respectable young man should do... I played the battle theme for Final Fantasy battle theme from XII and charged to the car with keys in hand. I single-handedly maneuvered the car through the crowded parking lot to the front of the church and my mom dashed into the car just in time to avoid the insects. Guess what music played after mom closed the door? The victory fanfare from Final Fantasy. Minor moment, but still awesome! * This Troper's 9th grade Global History class was watching Mulan at the end of the year. that isn't the awesome part. the awesome part was that when "I'll Make a Man out of You" started, the entire class, with the exception of the two people in the room who had not seen the movie before, started singing along. The teacher clapped at the end of that song. * [[FOX74647 This Troper]] went to Nemacon 2011 (North East Manga and Anime convention in the uk) and the entire event was a CMoA, but it's what I done on the second day of the two day event that made it here. ** During the charity auction, the last item was being sold off. the people on stage said "it's an open bet, what should it start at?". Well i just stood forward, prepaired myself and just shouted '''[[ReadingsAreOffTheScale OVER NINE TTHHOOUUSSAAAAAAAAAANNDD!!!!!]]''' Well, EVERYONE turned towards my general direction. what makes it funnier, is that it all went quiet and my voice was all that could be heard inside the (absolutely massive) main room, and stayed quiet for a few seconds afterward, before everyone burst out laughing. it counts as both a CMoA, AND a CMoF * This troppett's dentist actually had the staring part in the MoA. I'm a bit of a nerd, as evident by the fact that my text message notification noise is the original Star Trek Communicator noise. You know the one, the chirp when it was flipped open? So there I am, numb to the gills, drill in the mouth, and what happens? Yeah, the phone goes off (I had it in the chair with me. I was actually waiting for a text. My dentist has a tendency to walk off during the exam to visit other patients, so I leave my phone with me.) Without missing a beat, my dentist goes "Bridge to Captain Kirk." Que me nearly choking to death laughing. While it was totally at my expense, I have to say, that was a MoA on his part. * [[Tropers/JusticeReaper Yours truly]] already has a personal pair of moments of awesome on this page, but now here's one that I just learned about today: I went to the local Resident Magistrate's Court downtown to get stories for my newspaper. While waiting for the session to start, I was chatting with a fellow court reporter, who informed me of a situation that took place sometime recently. Apparently she was taking notes on a particular case (domestic abuse) and the guilty man made a request that his name not be written down. So the court clerk, who we'd normally expect would know better, tells the judge that the man has requested that the reporter not write down his name. The judge's response, paraphrased: --> '''Why?''' It's not our duty to control what comes in the paper. ** And it's even more awesome because a lot of the clerks of court have been acting very bitchy to us reporters. For any troper who works

in the media and has experienced the difficulty of acquiring correct information from [[JerkAss douche-bag]] [[ObstructiveBureaucrat officials]], this ought to be utterly satisfying. * This troper had a CMOA when she was around 4 or so. My maternal grandfather is deaf and never had a proper education, so every member of every other branch of my maternal family looks down on us, and didn't believe that I could read when I was 4. Cue the stunned looks as they presented me with a bookshop-new children's Bible and I proceeded to rattle off the words on the first page without any help from my parents. Oh yeah. Life was good. * This troper remembers a memorable CMOA that a close relative of his (who will be referred to as John) had in his GCSE year. John had been bullied at school pretty badly for a lot of his time there and never really came off better. He'd lost a fight the previous day and had been completely humiliated. However, his tormentor (who will be referred to as Barry) was showing off as the class lined up outside a classroom for their next lesson and John had decided previously that he was going to hit Barry instead of hold back as the teachers had always told him to [[TurnTheOtherCheek never take the law into his own hands]] which never ever worked. He commented on how Barry was full of himself. Barry smugly replied in a "I'm smart, funny, big hit with the ladies and you haven't because you're a loser" kind of way. John pointed at Barry's face and said "Watch your mouth" but before he'd even finished saying the word "mouth", he closed his fist and punched him square on the nose. As Barry realised in horror what had just happened and his nose began to bleed, John was already walking away. Barry furiously tried to get him to turn around and have another go to which the relative replied "I'm walking away, what more do you want?" John immediately admitted himself to the headmistress(principal)'s office and admitted what he'd done. According to the headmistress, It was impossible to punish him as he'd already apologised. Both John and Barry resolved things pretty quickly, John was never messed with again and all the "girlfriends" of Barry who he claimed he was a big hit with all came up to John in the following days, thanking him for his actions as Barry had really been treating them all like crap. * This troper was often late for school, and in fact my name rhymes with 'late.' Only once has this been fashionable. I arrived to firstperiod English, taught by a teacher who didn't really like me much, to see the entire class turn around and look at me. I sat down, confused, until the teacher explained that she'd just informed the class that our scores for the [=FCAT=] ("Florida Comprehensive Assessment Test") Writing had come in, and not only did I have the highest score in the class, I was the only to score in the top percentile. * [[Tropers/BeefBurgerman This Troper]] and four of my fellow students were able to beat two middle aged teachers, and a five-person team of girls in a game of Tug-O-War during Field Day. Twice. * Kingdom Hearts 1, level 66, Expert Mode, Sephiroth. I won. I was so freaking happy, and I felt so freaking awesome ^_^ * This troper attended a Latin convention in Colorado, from her online class (the teacher lived in Colorado, so we were registered as being Colorado students). There were twelve of us. Most of us were jetlagged from our flights in. We did spectacularly well in all our competition

events - despite being up against much larger, non-jetlagged groups. Our Certamen team, particularly, did absolutely awesome - they placed second in a tiebreaker against the favorite to win everything. * So, my great-great-grandfather, before he had any kids, was in a war, I can't remember which. The thing is, while there, he was shot through the head and survived! * This troper has been forced to deal with an abusive brother. Once before taking a dog on a walk, her brother was punching her and getting in her face for not doing it earlier. This troper's response? Knee him in the groin and proceed to use the leash as a whip. He was surprised by this sudden revolt against him and was dragged away by her grandmother. He's been terrified of getting too close to this troper ever since. * This Troper, like many others if the above entries are any indication, was one of those kids who was harassed and bullied all through school. From the 1st grade all the way up to sophomore year of high school (10 years for those of you who are counting), I was mercilessly picked on, made fun of, mocked, and pranked almost every day. Every attempt I ever made to stop it was to no avail (being a pacifist and not having the guts to throw a punch certainly didn't help matters). Now, one thing to know about me is that I'm a pretty devout Christian, and I especially buy into the idea that God has a plan and that everything in life happens for a reason. Now, I didn't always believe in that; in fact, back in those 10 years, I began to severely doubt it, because I couldn't see any possible way there could be a purpose behind putting me through all this. Thankfully, after sophomore year, it pretty much stopped due to my hanging out with friends and being less of a lone wolf, the bullies growing up (maybe), and my gaining the ability to make snappy comebacks. Now, every summer, my church's high school ministry does a week-long trip to one of 4 cities in neighboring California. This Troper loved them and went on all that he could, and among the others that did were two of my friends. We'll call them by their online usernames here. One was my best friend Michola, and we showed our friendship to ourselves and others in typical guy fashion- friendly trash talking. One such other friend was Reaper, a freshman who mainly kept to himself and was fairly new to everything. One night, as we were standing around talking and waiting for dinner to be served, Michola took the friendly trash talk a little too far, and Reaper walked 10 yards away and sat by himself against a nearby fence. After a few minutes, this troper thought something about it didn't smell right, so I went over to see what was going on. After some coaxing, he finally spilled the beans. Reaper's story was almost exactly like mine; many years of being harassed and bullied endlessly in school. However, he wasn't taking it nearly as well as I had. Everything about it told me that he needed someone to talk to, like I had in years past, and who better than someone who had been there and done that? As it turns out, Reaper had been on the verge of suicide, and just by having someone who understood his pain and could guide him through it and reassure him, he got away from it. Nowadays, almost 2 years later, he's so happy and cool that I hardly recognize him. In short, this troper's experiences at the hands of bullies allowed him to rekindle somebody's will to

live when it was almost run out. * This troper's best moment came when she was on vacation in Florida. She was sitting alone in the hotel's hot tub when 7 foreign boys, probably ages 8-10 came up and started splashing around the hot tub. She heard them murmur a couple of words in what was most likely Arabic, and began to splash and insult her in a mixture of broken English and supposedly Arabic. The only words I made out were: stupid American. They continued to splash and insult me. Well, I could have just walked away, or started to yell at them, but that would be giving them what they want: to get me to react, and to prove them right. Me being a stubborn human, wanted to win this, and I couldn't win by walking away. After a few minutes I came up with an idea. I was wearing sunglasses, so the boys were most likely just assuming that I was American, so I thought that the best way to solve my problem would be to prove I wasn't American (although I actually am). So, using the little, broken Spanish I know, I said: No comprendo. Hablo Espaol. After that, the boys looked at each other, apologized, and left me alone for the rest of the day. * A shared CMoA, but many of the popular girls at our school make fun of the Japanese Club. On the second to final meeting, they crashed it and wanted to us to act out our favorite moments in Anime to "see what was so good about them." (We knew that they were just going to mock them, and no teacher was present). Cue me and another girl reenacting the transformation scene from Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt, complete with the other girl taking off her panties and music. Afterwards, Panty-actress tossed her undergarments at them and yelled "ANARCHY, BITCHES!", and as they ran off, I screamed, "FUCK YOU, YOU FATHERFUCKERS!" The school never found out, and they didn't come back.

MomentOfFunny This has a new page now. --<<|{{Troper Tales}}|>>

Mondegreen * "Up to no Good" by Rancid, my punk friend, and I mean punk like he would kick your ass if you call good charlotte or green day punk, made me listen to this song, and I swear the lyrics to parts of the song were: Like a sparkling wine...we're bad motherfuckers up to no good...quick like a slick, he'll even steal the blaster of the ceiling....criminals, I cannot stand them...portal ruse, and we end up in the system. After getting a sucker punch for singing those lyrics, I was told the words to those parts of the song were: Like a spark of wire, but that motherfuckers up to no good, quick like a snake, he'll even steal the plaster of the ceiling, criminals I understand them, born to lose and we end up in the system. ** Another Rancid example from "Gave It Away": the second verse begins with "I've seen you finish, I saw you at the start". For more than ten years, I was convinced that the guy sings "I've seen the British..." What's more, now I know the actual lyrics but still hear "the

British". * This Troper just did it with AlanisMorissette's "Knees Of Your Bees". "You are a-fishing, and live by the singles of Sonic and intuition, that's your guy," (You are a vision who lives by the singles of stomach and intuition as your guide" ** The next line: "You are a sailor with God on a platter who walks while he talks so he copes when he's died" (You are a sliver of God on your platter who walks what he talks and who copes when he's lied" * Despite an embarassing correction, I keep hearing one of the lines from David Bowie's ''Life on Mars'' as "...look at those gay men go" (the correct lyrics are "...look at those '''cavemen''' go"). It doesn't help that it's preceded by "Sailors fighting in the dance hall". * As a child I was convinced, with the encouragement of an elder evil sibling, that "I feel stupid and contagious" from [[{{Nirvana}} Smells Like Teen Spirit]], was in fact "I feed two pigs, from containers" ** You're not alone. I did the same to my cousins. *** It's "I feel stupid and contagious"? I thought it was "Life is stupid and contagious". ** Is it just me, or is it kind of ironic to find mondegreens in a song that's based on a misinterpretation of an ad slogan? (Teen Spirit is a deodorant, not the spirit of teenagers.) * I always hear a certain line in the Dragonforce song "Strike of the Ninja " as "My ass open wide" The original it's just "My eyes open wide" ** In the Linkin Park song "Numb" "Walking in your shoes" becomes "Fucking in your shoes" for some reason. * No matter how often I hear the Manic Street Preachers song "Repeat (Stars and Stripes)" I hear "Loses an erection" not "Useless generations". * I always heard the last bit of "Ra ra ah ah ah roma ro ma ma [[LadyGaga ga ga]] ooh la laa WANT YOUR BAD ROMANCE" as "Wash your bedroom hands." Never mind that [[CompletelyMissingThePoint the song is actually ''called'' "Bad Romance."]] Or that the [[TitleDrop title is dropped]] all over the rest of the song. ** The first time I heard the song, without knowing it's title, I thought the line 'want your bad romance' was 'watch out for romance'. Makes about as much sense. ** Another one from Bad Romance, This Troper thought "Want you in my rear window/Baby its sick" was actually "Want you tomorrow when your baby is sick" ** I thought the line "You and me could write a bad romance" was "You and me could ride a bed romance" the first time I heard it without knowing the title. I was very confused. ** Misheard 'Caught in a Bad Romance' as 'Caught in a trap of my own'. Only figured it out when I heard a much clearer cover version. ** I kept hearing "Want you in my rear window" as "Want you in my Morrowind". ** Used to think that the "Want your bad romance" was just more of the gibberish preceding it. ** "A jumpy romance"? Not like "Just Dance" was any clearer. ** More of a retroactive Mondegreen, but I realized "I don't wanna be

friends" could be made to sound like "I don't wanna be french..." *** May I direct you to [[http://www.otherpeoplesbusiness.net/comic/issue-6/page-19 this comic]]? ** I thought the line "Want you in my rear window/Baby its sick" was "Want your bone marrow when your baby's sick" ** Original troper for the above entry here with another Gaga mondegreen: In "Born This Way," I''still'' hear "Hold your head up, girl, and you'll go far" as "Hold your handgun and you'll go far." * Marina's and the Diamond's 'Hollywood' opening lines: "Because I don't want to end up living in a dive on Vine" sounds like "Because I don't want to end up living in Dublin 5"! Listen to it. It can't just be me! * I once heard someone singing along with Blur's "Song 2", and they sang the line "I got my head checked by a jumbo jet" as "I got my head shaved by a Zamboni". ...In their defense, neither lyric makes much sense. * Kings Of Leon. Full stop. Especially their early stuff: try listening to Red Morning Light or Trani and making sense of the lyrics. "Playing in the dirt, shittin' out his teeth" (from Trani) CANNOT be right. * In a RealLife ''subversion'', I actually used to think Aerosmith's "Dude (Looks Like a Lady)" titular lyric was a Mondegreen, and tried to hear it as "Do it like a lady". It was made that much funnier when I realized the truth. ** I always heard it as "do the lucky lady". ** I though it was "Do the funky lady" as a kid *** "Doodle like a lady" here. **** And here this troper thought they were singing "do the macarena". ***** The first time I heard the song, I felt that it could also sound like "Dude, look at that lady". ***** This troper first heard the song when watching ''Mrs Doubtfire'', heard it as "You look like a lady," and wondered why the next line wasn't "You act like a man," or something along those lines. ** Inversion. * This troper always hears "It's written all over your face" in Beyonce's "Halo" as "I'm spitting all over your face." Makes sense to me. * Alice In Chains has a song called "Rooster," the actual lyric is "walkin' tall machine gun man" but I hear the much more appropriate "walkin' talkin' chicken man." * This troper first heard the Steve Miller song "Jet Airliner" at the age of eight, when her younger brother's best friend was named Jeremy, nicknamed "Jer" -- so she heard "Big ol' jet airliner" as "Big ol' Jer left the light on". ** I've always heard 'Jet Airliner' as 'Carolina.' * In "Apologize" by OneRepublic, when it said "it's too late to apologize," this troper heard it as "it's too late for the john." ** This troper first heard it as "It's too late to call a judge". * I can't be the only troper to have heard the "I don't like your girlfriend" line in Avril Lavigne's song, "Girlfriend" as "I don't ''want'' your girlfriend."

* This Troper thought the mock lyrics to "The Legend Of Zelda" went: "And Ganon lilies greatly." (The actual "lyrics": "Put Ganon in his grave.") ** I heard it as "But Ganon, he is crazy!" at first. ** Also, in "Misery", the word "brag" is sung really weirdly, so every time I always think it's "I never meant to ''break''", which doesn't really make sense. * John Reuben's "Do Not": "Do not tell me what I can and cannot do when I rock" sounds for all the world like, "Do not tell me what I can and cannot do in Iraq". ** [[TropeName Ha ha politics joke!]] *** Or something a CompositeCharacter of [[{{Lost}} Locke and Sayid]] would say. * When listening to "Going Somewhere Fast" by [=FurtherMore=], I keep hearing "Going somewhere fast, fucked up, so I don't ask where" (rather than the lyrics listed in the liner notes, "Going somewhere fast, ''I'm dumb'' so I don't ask where"). The lyrics in question are in the chorus; I can't help but wonder if this was [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar intentional]].) * Both this troper and his sister went to the same high school, and we used to listen to her [=iPod=] on the way in (it was a 40 minute drive, we lived in a different town). One of the songs she had was Dido's "White Flag." To this day we both still think she says "I won't poke my eyes out and surrender." (The lyrics say "put my hands up" but we know they're lying.) * In Queen's "Under Pressure", I heard the line "Why can't we give love that one more chance" as "Give every good bloke that one more chance" * Surely I can't be the only person who thought U2 were singing "Hello, hello, I'm in a place called Birmingham!" ** I knew it was "Vertigo" (since, you know, the song is called that) but I had a couple of misheard lyrics from that song too. "Always, always confused..." ("All of this, all of this could be yours...") and "I can feel danger behind" ("I can feel your love teaching me how"). * I originally heard [[TitleDrop the naming line]] in the [=BareNaked Ladies'=] song "Alternative Girlfriend", as "You're, right on time, and tan, girlfriend", when it's really "You're my alternative girlfriend". * This troper lives in a country that doesn't speak English as first language. So, whenever this troper's father sings any songs in English, he ALWAYS sings in mondegreen much to this troper's annoyance. Even though He collects lyrics of so called song, he keeps doing that. Like Valentina Hassan's infamous "Ken Li" but more of a mumbling than actual singing. * This troper's cousin was fond of singing, " 'Cuz I'm feelin' like a crim in the hole!" ("...like a criminal") to Fiona Apple's song "Criminal." When asked what she thought a "crim" was, she replied that she thought it was just a word she didn't know (yet). ** This troper, meanwhile, was briefly convinced it was "Cuz I'm feelin' like a criminal ho". * This editor thought that Beck's "Devil's Haircut" was "Devil With Handcuffs" ever since I heard the song until only recently. I still

think my version makes more sense. ** Same editor here: I also have mistaken "Go, airstream driver" in Gomez's "Airstream Driver" as "Zoroastrian driver". ** It keeps happening to me, this time with [[GurrenLagann Row Row Fight The Power]]. The "white power" thing may be well known, but it was different for me: I looked at the lyrics and was actually surprised when I saw that it was "Break the roof and you'll see the truth" and not "Break the rules when you want to", which [[CoolPeopleRebelAgainstAuthority actually fits.]] Also, it's "Power for the dreams", not "Power for the team", and "See how easy they all break down", not "go down". * One of the more hilarious unintended mondegreens this troper once saw on the alt.music.lyrics newsgroup was the Beatles' ''Come Together'' explained as "hold you in his armchair, you can feel his disease". The correct lyric is of course actually "hold you in his arms, yeah". The Ike and Tina Turner cover averts this problem by singing that line as "hold you in his arms 'til you can feel his disease". ** The lyric actually IS "hold you in his armchair, you can feel his disease." * "I could not stop the senile gnomes" ("I could not stop what you now know", Coldplay's "Clocks" -- this troper thinks it makes more sense the "wrong" way) ** I have always misheard it as "I could not stop the tune I know". Definitely not helped by the lack of lyrics in the liner notes (which Coldplay does because they want listeners to come up with their own interpretations). ** In the Coldplay song "Sparks", whenever he sings, "And I saw sparks", it always sounds like, "And I saw ''starks''", because he pronounces the 'sp' in 'sparks' as 'st' like 'stars', which makes it extremely confusing. * This troper's husband heard the line "Die, die, we all pass away" in the song "Remains of the Day" in CorpseBride as "Die, die, the oldfashioned way". * The best one this troper has ever heard was for Clint Black's "No Time To Kill"-- instead of "a bell to mark each one to pass", "Imelda Marcos' underpants". Not helped by the fact that the next line is "and see just how they fly"... * For some time this Troper's brother was under the impression that NeilDiamond had written a song with the refrain 'For Reverend Blue Jeans', assuming it to be an ode to an unlikely hip, progressive figure from Diamond's past. He now knows it to be 'Forever In Blue Jeans'. * This troper heard the line 'So why'd you have to lie?/I take it I'm your crutch' in Damien Rice's 'Elephant' as 'So why'd you have to lie/Take it on your crotch'. It sounded [[InnocentInnuendo very strange...]] * The first times this troper heard Bob Dylan's "Shelter from the Storm", she heard the line "I came in from the wilderness, a preacherboy to form" ("I came in from the wilderness, a creature void of form"). * This troper fins it hard to believe she's the only one hearing

"Travel the world in the seventies" in Eurythmics' Sweet Dreams (instead of "Travel the world and the Seven Seas". * In Five for Fighting's song Easy Tonight, my sister and I heard "I've got two dimes in the telephone" consistently as "I've got two dogs in the telephone." We were corrected by our father some time later. * In ''GearsOfWar'' 2, a Mondegreen of one of Chairman Prescott's COG Victory lines--"That's what I like to see out on the field! Teamwork! '''Nudity'''!" (actually "...Teamwork! '''Unity'''!")--have made him, to this troper and his [[HeterosexualLifePartners cousin]], a [[MemeticMutation Memetic]] [[NobodyOver50IsGay Gay]] DirtyOldMan whose primary source of FetishFuel is making his soldiers fight naked. We have since purposely Mondegreened most of his other COG Victory lines and at least one of his Locust Victory lines to accommodate the meme ("You men were precise, efficient, and above all...'''legal'''! Keep up the good work!"). * I kept hearing the first words of JonathanCoulton's song "A Talk With George" as "there's a dolphin man standing in the shadows" instead of "there's a tall thin man standing in the shadows". * This troper was very much confused when listening to a beautiful, poetic Joni Mitchell song where the chorus and every verse contain the phrase "urge for bowling". It seems the whole song is a melancholy ballad about her wanting to go bowling whenever winter comes around, and how her lover left her to go bowling, and eventually even the geese do it too: --> See the geese in chevron flight flapping and racing on before the snow --> They've got the urge for bowling, they've got the wings to go ** Needless to say it makes a lot more sense when you realize the title is "Urge for ''Going''". * This Troper doesn't know if it goes under LionKing or Elton John, but until she looked up the actual Zulu lyrics, she heard the opening chant to "Circle of Life" as 'Big Obama, penguins on the bomb, big Obama, penguins on the bomb' ** This Troper hears it as "Here we are, the penguins in pajamas. Either way, EverythingsBetterWithPenguins. *** Are you by any chance, the great Andrew Kepple? The one who mondegreened it as "In a vineyard, penguins in Pyjamas" and made an animutation out of it? ** This troper swears that when she was little, she heard a source state that it was 'pink pajama, penguin on the bottom'. Obviously I know it's not anything in english, but I can't help but hear it that way even now. ** This troper's brain has a bad habit of trying to make English words out of foreign languages (gibberish too, but that's another story). As a child, she always heard, "Naaaa, it's a vinyard, with a veg-e-table. Oooh, it'a a vinyard. Yeah, it's a vinyaaard." etc. With a little part about, "See a Mogwai." and then, "A banana, penguin in pyjamas." * This Troper was recently show what is quite possibly the best Mondegreen ever in Limp Bizkit's cover of 'Behind Blue Eyes.' Specifically, 'No one knows what its like, To be the Batman. To be the Sandman.'

* In Metallica's "Nothing Else Matters", this troper always heard the line "Couldn't be much more from the heart" as a sarcastic "Couldn't be much more fun to have". ** Since this troper first heard "and I see red" from ''Fuel'' as "Nazi red", he has been unable to disassociate the song from Panzer divisions. ** "You know it's Sad Patroooollll!" (Sad But True) * For years, this troper thought that the second line of "Safety Dance" by Men without Hats mentioned a plan to "surprise 'em with a big chikai" ("surprise 'em with our vict'ry cry"). No idea what a "big chikai" would be. ** This troper also heard that, but since it made no sense, I thought it might be "big chick ride". Not that that makes sense. But at least it's ''words''. In fact, I didn't know it was 'vict'ry cry' until this very moment, so thanks. ** [[{{Emiko}} This troper]] thought it was "surprise 'em with a big trick eye," until now. ** [[BusouRenkin MAKKA NA CHIKAI!]] (Sorry, couldn't help myself there.) * This troper first heard "white men go to pieces in the tropics" in Stephen Malkmus' "Phantasies" as "White men go ''for pizzas'' in the tropics". Had this whole explanation worked out for that line too, about people going to exotic locales and then just doing things they could have just done at home, which does sort of fit with the rest of the song. * Near the end of my high school math class, the teacher was playing gospel music. (He plays music during class from time to time) There was one part where the singer kept repeating a phrase and it sounded suspiciously like "Oh, well be fucking now!" Unfortunately, the teacher wouldn't tell me what it really said. * "Mud flowed up into Lump's [[UnusualEuphemism vajazz]]" ("Mud flowed up into Lump's ''pajamas''"), "Lump", The Presidents of the USA. When she sang it in ''[[RockBand Rock Band 2]]'', this troper actually thought the original lyric was an intentional mondegreen for the sake of placating the {{Media Watchdog}}s. Then she googled the lyrics. * This Troper assumed that in addition to living in a land called 'Honalee', 'Puff The Magic Dragon' (as sung by Peter, Paul and Mary) frolicked in something called 'the Otomis'. I had no idea what this might be (perhaps some sort of harbour or forest), and though correct, 'autumn mist' still doesn't sound quite right. ** That would place the land of Honalee somewhere in the central altiplano of Mexico...? * The Pretenders' "I'll stand by you": "the tinsel in your eyes" turned out to be "tears are in your eres", and "I'm in love, lucky you" still sounds better, to this troper, than "I'm a lot like you" * Prefab Sprout's "The King of Rock 'n' Roll": this troper always misheard "Hot Dog! Jumping Frog! Albuquerque!" as "Hot Dog! Jumping Frog! I want cookies!" * This troper was truly freaked out by her version of the lyrics to Roisin Murphy's "Ramalama (Bang Bang)". I thought it was about necrophilia, or some fucked up Frankenstein thing. For example, the first line is, "Could a body close the mind out/stitch a seam along

the eye?" I heard it for the longest time as "Pull a body close to mine, now,/Stitch a seam across the eye,". And the verse that goes, "Everybody smile, please/nobody pay no mind to me/finger in position on the switch/a little flash photography" creeped me out more, because I heard the first bit as "Everybody smilin'/nobody paying mind to me" and then, taken in conjunction with the lightning reference, and the next, repeated verse "taking a picture of you/taking a picture of me", I was seriously thinking zombies/Frankenstein. Until I looked up the lyrics. It's still weird, but thankfully not as morbid. ** Also, I heard the repeated line "That could be OK" in "Let Me Know" as "It'll be OK," which I liked more. * To this troper and his friends, "War, children." from the Rolling Stones' "Gimme Shelter" sounds like "Whoa! Dinner!" the best part is that it still sounds like that to us even though we know what the actual lyrics are. ** This troper was always under the impression that the lyrics were "Whoa, Dinah," especially because a woman sang a few verses of that song. ** ''Fool to Cry'' sure sounds like Mick Jagger insisting "[[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial Y'know, I'm not a woman]]". Apparently, it's "Y'know, ''I met'' a woman". * "Fuck and kiss you both at the same time" ("If I can kiss you both at the same time"), "I Can't Decide" by ScissorSisters. This troper is incapable of hearing the line as anything else. ** "Fuck and kiss you..." is actually the correct lyric - This troper just checked the liner-notes to confirm. *** Well, that'll teach me to trust random lyric websites. ** And a rule of thumb with the Sisters- if you do a double-take because you think it sounds dirty, you probably heard it right. * For the longest time, this troper thought the Stone Temple Pilots song "Vasoline" was entitled "Gasoline". ** Ditto this troper's best friend. If not for being introduced to the song by Rock Band (which, of course, handily spells out the song's name for you), I'd have heard it the same way. * One of this troper's parents misheard the titular line of "I Wanna Be Adored" as "I wanna be your dog". ** Which is particularly funny because that's [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Wanna_Be_Your_Dog another song entirely]]. * This troper cannot hear the line "Just look at what's going on" from Shania Twain's ''Still the One'' as anything other than "Just look at the scalded nun...". ** Also, This Troper wonders if Shania intentionally failed to enunciate the last "K" in "If You Wanna Touch Her, Ask." I'll let that one sink in a moment. * This troper only recently found out that TeganAndSara's "Walking with a Ghost" wasn't "''Smoking'' with a Ghost." And that's ''after'' she realized that it wasn't "''Fucking'' with a Ghost. ** Also by Tegan and Sara, "the same as I love you, you'll always love me too, this love isn't gonna last. It's me and you." (I Know I Know I Know -- "...this love isn't good unless it's me and you.) This troper

still prefers her version. * This troper had a hard time figuring out the lyrics to the ''[[WolfsRain Wolf's Rain]]'' closing theme "Gravity" by Maaya Sakamoto. The official lyrics, I've now learned, run: "Are the memories I hold still valid, or have the tears deluded them". I always thought they said "Are the memories of hope still valid, or have the tears diluted them". I think my version makes more sense. * "and Van Halen is overrated" instead of "and that heaven is is overrated" in Train's "Drops Of Jupiter". [[MikeK I]] knew what the actual lyric was to begin with, but after hearing the mondegreen from a friend, couldn't help hearing it that way every time the song happened to come on. ** Wait, it's Van Halen? 'Heaven' makes more sense. * Every single time I hear "Hey Soul Sister," I automatically translate it to "Hey Seoul Sister". * 403 Forbiddena's songs. Heavy Japanese accents made This Troper absolutely shocked to learn they were all in english. ** I still meet people on the internet who insist that the songs "Northern Lights" and "Southern Cross" (made famous by the Nightmare City flash animations) are in Japanese. They're entirely in English, but with such a heavy accent that you'd never know unless you happened to look up the lyrics. * From Velvet Underground's "Venus In Furs": "Taste the whip, now plead for me" sounds like "...now '''bleed''' for me". Certainly makes it [[FetishFuel kinkier]]. Also this troper always mishears "tongue of thongs" as "tongue of [[HappyDays Fonz]]", which conjures up some unpleasant RuleThirtyFour... ** I've always heard "bleed for me" too, in both the original and Bettie Serveert's cover version. Had no idea until just now it wasn't that. *** I also always heard "bleed for me"... * BeautyAndTheBeast gives us one from [[VillainSong "Gaston"]]. "No one's big like Gaston/hulking big like Gaston". I always heard it as "No one's big like Gaston/fucking big like Gaston", which just sounds ''better''. ** It's actually "No one's big like Gaston, a king-pin like Gaston" according to lyrics sites. * This troper, as a kid, heard the French lyrics to [[NationalAnthems O Canada]], ''Et ta valeur, de foi trempe'' (And your valour, steeped in faith) as ''Et ta valeur, deux fois trompe'' (And your valour, fooled twice). He thought that was an unnecessarily disrespectful way to refer to World Wars I and II. * harrumphs in childlike fashion* * My bus driver heard me saying 'je suis toujour dans la mode Francais'(I'm still in French mode) as 'is this your dumb bus?' ** Not a mondegreen exactly, but during a rehearsal for 'South Pacific', when Nellie refers to Emile as 'my own frenchman', it prompted this troper and her best friend to re-write the lyrics to 'Personal Jesus'. I still sometimes sing the lyrics that way. ** Same troper, same friend, different song, we also sang 'Centipede Rider' ('Dear Sir or Madam, will you see my bug, it took me years to train him, he's not a slug'). We had an honestly misheard lyric for

'All Around the World or The Myth of Fingerprints' by Paul Simon. I think it was 'heaven is a watermelon'... * A friend of this troper's sister believed that Maria [=McKee=] was singing "Leave me breakfast" in "Show Me Heaven" (it's "Leave me breathless"), and that Republica's "Drop Dead Gorgeous" was about "My ex-boyfriend Nige" (it's "My ex-boyfriend lies"). This troper himself spent some time under the impression that Bananarama's "Nathan Jones" (yes, it was originally by the Supremes, but I hadn't heard that version) went "Smith and Jones, you've been gone too long". * This troper thinks that FOB's new song sounds like it's got something to do with Magikarp. * This troper had two for the song "Kind And Generous" by Natalie Merchant. The line "you've been so kind and generous" sounds like "you felt some kind of genitals". Also, at the end when she repeats "I want to thank you, thank you" it sounds like she singing "I want to vaccuum, vaccuum". * This troper hears "Boobies in the afternoon" ("The movies in the afternoon") during "Nolita Fairytale" by Vanessa Carlton. I like my interpretation better... ** Considering that Ms. Carlton recently came out as bisexual, your version is probably just better, period. (For the record, I heard "The rubies in the afternoon.") * This troper heard an episode of ''[=~I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue~=]'' years ago where Barry Cryer had to sing 'You're A Pink Toothbrush, I'm A Blue Toothbrush' to the tune of Cwm Rhondda. It was hilarious, but this troper doesn't speak Welsh and wondered for ages what "Koom Ronga" meant. * In Dragonforce's well-known song, "Through the Fire and Flames", one line says, "Day after day, this misery must go on". This Troper, when he first heard the song, thought it was "Day after day, this pizzeria must go on". He said to himself, "That can't be right". ** I had a few from that song... "For the light source so wasted and gone" (actually "lives all"), "The skeletons will feel the hell" ("scattered souls"), "Foreign lonely desperation, now the time has come" ("All alone in desperation"). And I JUST found out that it's actually "So now we're flying, we're free" instead of "So now we fly ever free" which is what I heard it as. *** This troper heard "For the light source so wasted and gone" too. Although he has this really twisted interpretation of the song... * The Who's "Baba O'Reilly" -- this troper misheard the lyrics "Sally take my hand / Travel south crossland" as "As I retake my hand / The tribal softballs land." * Speaking of Japanese, this troper thought for the longest time that "moshi moshi" (the greeting typically used when answering a phone in Japan) was "mushi mushi." This troper then looked it up in a Japanese/English dictionary... and wondered why the heck everyone in Japan opened phone conversations by talking about insects. * This troper mistook the line "nineteen sixty-five, yeah" in Rob Zombie's "Thunder Kiss '65" as "nineteen sixty fried ham." They referred to it as the "fried ham song" until a few years ago. * Nine Inch Nails' song "The Perfect Drug" had "the yellow goes straight through my heart" and "it's always so much fun to pick up the

pieces" rather than the real lyrics "the arrow goes straight through my heart" and "It's not as much fun to pick up the pieces". "I shouldn't go but you're reaching back and shaking me" became "I shouldn't go, but you're wrenching dragging shaking me", which sounds better, and "My feelings want to get inside of you" was interpreted as "my seed are swarming to get inside of you", which is fairly vulgar but not out of place. Finally, the line "Every little word is a lack of me" was completely unclear to this Troper. Surprisingly, this is the Troper's favorite Nine Inch Nails song. ** "YOU ARE THE PERFECT RUG THE PERFECT RUG THE PERFECT RUG!" ** "Without you, it's not as much fun to take off your pants." ** "Every little word is a lack of me" always sounded like "Very little room is left for me" to me. * Interestingly, this troper misheard the line "hito wa nashi" from "[[RevolutionaryGirlUtena Chikyuu Wa Jinbutsu Chinretsushitsu]]" as "people are nothing" in [[GratuitousEnglish Engrish]]. Turns out it translates roughly as "man does not exist", which is close enough that "people are nothing" was actually used as the official translation on the American DVD. * From "Stuck In A Movie!" by The Aquabats: This Troper thought the last line of the bridge was "If you wanna be here in my feature film / Then take your brain and shut it off"; the last part is actually "Then take your plane and sail off." * It wasn't until this troper heard the John Barrowman cover that she realised "You're So Vain" does not include the line "Your ''coffee'' was apricot". In her defence, there is a line about coffee later in the song, and this does sound quite tasty. * Created some confusion when [[Tropers/SharmHedgehog this troper]] misinterpreted the lyrics of ''The Anthem'' as: -->"And I don't ever wanna be like you! I don't wanna do the things you do! I'm never gonna hear the words you say, and I don't ever wanna, I don't ever wanna be yoooouuu! I wanna be ''just'' like you!" ** [[{{Tropers/Marley}} This troper]] heard the very next line (she thinks; it's been a while) of that song as, "This is the end, I'll blow all your heads off" instead of "This is the anthem, throw all your hands up." She knew it wasn't right, but she chose to interpret it that way anyway [[RuleOfFunny because it's funny.]] ** I've had a similar case of a mondegreen making a song seem to completely contradict itself: when I first heard "Another Saturday Night" by Sam Cooke I was confused by the refrain of "Another saturday night and I ain't got no money \ I got some money 'cause I just got paid..." (if you haven't heard the song, he actually "ain't got no''body''"). * From ''SuperSmashBros'', we have Captain Falcon's taunt "Show me your moves!" misheard as "[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWkThLXiVRo#t=0m10s Show me your boobs!]]", and Falco's "Hands off my prey!" misheard as "Hands off my bread!" Also, Ness's B-neutral move is supposed to be "PK Flash", but some will swear it's "PK Pulse" or even "PK Flush". ** Granted, Ness's voice actor says the attacks the way they would be written in Japanese, so it actually does come out to "PK Frosh" (furashu, with silent U's and an A like "call").

** Ness's "PK Thunder" sounds vaguely like "DK's Mother", which makes for an interesting fight against Donkey Kong. *** This troper misheard "PK Thunder" as "Peaked Butter." *** This troper misheard "PK Thunder" in the original Super Smash Bros as "Stick your bum up!", sadly the voice acting is clearer in the later versions. *** I thought PK Flash was PK Cross and PK Thunder was PK Hammer. ** Fox and Falco's "mission complete"s are mistakable for "we sell cookies" or "we sell cupcakes." *** Or "We serve coffee". *** You know, "StarFox Cafe" would make a great CrackFic... ** [[{{Pikawil}} This troper]] once heard "PK Flash" as "Gimme props!" ** I once heard "PK Psi!" as "PK Pee!" ...ew. ** From ''Brawl'', various tropers can't avoid hearing Ike's Final Smash (Great Aether) as "Free... PIZZA!" or "Great... PIZZA!" or "Eat... PIZZA!" *** And for the Japanese version, his Final Smash (daitenk&#363;) has been mistakenly interpreted as "I... HATE... YOU!" *** Speaking of the English, all my friends always heard it as "Great...ETHAN!" Made even funnier by the fact that one of our friend's name is Ethan. ** The entire opening theme of ''Brawl'': "[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFjaoYZ7jlA I'll be the Marth]], e.g. noob, so this is Yoshi's B..." *** Wait, the Brawl theme has lyrics? *** The above comment speaks to another problem: songs with lyrics in Latin (in the Brawl theme's case, Church Latin). Just familiar enough to sound recognizable, but not for most people (even people that took Latin). How many people actually hear "Audi famam illius solus in hostes ruit et patriam servavit" for the intro to the Brawl theme? One Winged Angel suffers a similar problem. **** "Bell's frogs, Bing cherries, Jingle bells, Magic cheese -- SEPHI-ROTH!" **** When I first listened to that I heard "ira vehementi" as "he's a fair entity" and thought those were the actual lyrics. Now even though I know the words I still hear it as "he's a fair entity". It makes some form of sense too, to me at least. **** I have the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_MW65XxS7s&feature=related metal version]], which I absolutely LOVE! Well, when they sing "noli manere, manere in memoria" I always hear "holy manray, manray mamaw jo", and when they sing "saevam iram, iram et dolorem" I hear "save em eat em, need a man, dollor and". Also when they sing "mi fili veni, veni, veni, mi fili" I hear "me feeling very, very, very me-feeling". [[{{CloudCuckooLander}} Yeah. I know.]] **** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AygsOmhN8tE Head sauce, Jim Carrey in a bear! Heaven pee! Dave Lee Roth!]] *** This troper is able to understand most of the main theme (one thing Latin is good for), as well as One Winged Angel, but the SSBB version of the Fire Emblem theme is an entirely different story: she always hears "Wasch die Hnde!", which is German for "Wash your hands!" Yeah. Her entire family has been infected with this

mondegreen. ** This troper and her friends heard "PK Fire" as "Get higher!" leading to the inside joke that Ness was on drugs. *** [[Tropers/MindChips This Troper]]'s younger brother heard it as "Wicked Fire!" ** This troper thought that Kirby said "YAHTZEE!!" when he did his up + B cutter attack which makes no sense whatsoever. (It's obviously "Pika! Ennh!" in the N64 game.) *** Brawl Taunts 3 (One More Brawl Taunts) pokes fun at this, with Kirby doing that move while yelling "Your face!" over and over. **** [[EarthBound Big Gay Thunder!]] [[MotherThree Big Gay Fire!]] ** Pit's Final Smash is known as "Raw Shrimp!" to this troper and his friends. ** The announcer isn't exempt from this either, as this troper notices every time he is told to 'rape the targets!' in Classic Mode. *** "Break the [[Series/DoctorWho TARDIS]]! ** I'd always thought Lucario yelled "MUNCH THE POWERRR!!" during his Final Smash. Recently I figured out it was "Watch the power of aura!!" I must say, mine makes alot more sense. *** This troper originally thought he was saying "Watch the pelt! *Gibberish*" Which, while closer to what he's actually saying, doesn't make a whole lot of sense. ** The above troper also wonders if he's the only one who hears "Crankshot!" instead of "Nice try!" whenever Pit reflects a projectile. ** Whenever Ike parries this troper hears "Scrotum!" And his final smash sounds like "Rape Pizza!" * The absolute best, in the fighting game-addicted troper's opinion, in in the SamuraiShodown series, when Hanzo gets KO'ed, and shouts out "c...COCK!" * The website ''Fighter's Generation'' has more examples [[http://www.fightersgeneration.com/funnies/moves.html here]] * "Show me a moose!" * Sometimes happens in video games, especially {{fighting game}}s, where the player may mishear a character's victory quote or [[CallingYourAttacks called attack]]: ** Mai Shiranui's signature quote "Nippon Ichi!" from ''FatalFury'' and ''KingOfFighters'' has been misheard ([[{{Gainaxing}} appropriately enough]]) as "Me bouncy!" or "Me boingy!" ** In ''MortalKombat'', the incomprehensible, [[AsLongAsItSoundsForeign vaguely Japanese]] shout Raiden gives when he performs his human torpedo attack has been interpreted as "Your mother's from L.A.!" and "Get back in the car!" *** This Troper has a strategy guide for ''MortalKombat 4'' that attempts to decipher all the character's random yelling. The only two quotes that make '''''any''''' sense whatsoever are "OH I'M GONNA THROW YA OVER THERE!" (yes, it's attached to a throw) and "OHHHHHH GOD!". *** This troper heard something along the lines of [[Imahumanitarian ''I want you in my barbecue!'']]. **** I personally found the shouting of something that sounds vaguely like "AWWW MY LEG!" particularly funny. Because mostly it initiates

when you hit them. In the head. ** In ''StreetFighter 2'', Ryu's ''Shoryuken'' becomes "All you can" (or "Oh you kids"), ''Hadoken'' becomes "A token", and ''"Tatsumaki Senpukyaku'' has countless misinterpretations. Meanwhile, Dhalsim's "Yoga Fire" is sometimes misheard as "Yoga friar", "Build a fire" (with "Yoga Flame" then being "Build a flame") or "Yoda's fired". Sagat's "Tiger" becomes "My turn". *** This troper always heard the original ''StreetFighter 2'' "Tiger" call as "Viper", which is a similarly kung-fu-sounding animal name. Then again, he always heard "Hadoken" as "I'm Wounded", and as a kid, thought Ryu shot fireballs out whenever he got hit (doubly reinforced by the amount of players -- and the AI -- who enjoyed spamming the projectiles in those days) so maybe he's not all there in the head... **** [[http://www.halolz.com/2009/01/15/sure-youre-ken/ Another interpretation of Hadouken & Shouryuuken.]] One commenter below even manages a translation for Tatsumaki Senpuu Kyaku. *** Similarly, in the ''[[CapcomVsWhatever Marvel vs. Capcom]]'' games, Cyclops' "Gene Splice!" is often interpreted as "Jean's m'wife!" **** Speaking of ''[=MvC=]'', "ICE BEAM!" ought to be "ICE CREAM!" **** [[{{X2X}} This Troper]] misheard Magneto's "Magnetic Tempest!" as "Magnetic Joker!". *** [[strike:Tiger Uppercut]] "Tiger Robocop!" [[strike:Sonic Boom]] "Alex Full!" **** This troper will ''never'' be able to unhear the name of the hurricane kick move from Ryu and Ken as "I twist and boogy!". In writing, this looks ridiculously far off from the actual chant ("Tatsu Maki Sen Puu Kyaku"), but seriously, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgP5AgSlEKk it's there]]. **** Better than "A-tat-tat-tat-boogen" in any case. **** This troper's sister heard that as, in her words, "a bunch of quacking". **** As a young boy I thought that Chun-Li yelled "Spinning side kick!" when doing her whirling kick move, which does make sense. It was later that I realised it's actually "Spinning bird kick!", though it REALLY doesn't sound like she's saying bird. ***** This Cantonese-speaking troper has relatives who misheard "Spinning bird kick!" as "_$BZNBV_(B kick!" (bin taai ''kick''), which means "perverted kick" (cognate to the Japanese term _$BJQBV_(B, {{Hentai}}). Considering how she executes the move, they might have had something there. **** And this troper has been similarly affected by HomestarRunner's mishearing of the same attack: "The pipes are broken!" **** [[{{X2X}} This Troper]], being only ''five'' when he first was introduced to ''[[CapcomVsWhatever X-Men vs. Street Fighter]]'', had no clue what Ryu and Ken were shouting when they were performing their [[HurricaneKick Tatsumaki Senpuukyaku]]. Ryu sounding like he was saying "A-footcus-Americus!" and Ken's chant was something along the lines of "A-footcus-Lucas!". Wow... *** This troper remembers Sagat's tiger uppercut as Fiber Uppercut! **** A friend and I used to misunderstand Ryu and Ken's exclamation of "shoryuken" as "GeorgeLucas" which we felt made absolutely no sense,

and was thus mocked thoroughly. *** This troper's school hosted a video game tournament last month. the flyer had a comic that went something like this: --->'''Nerd:''' Can I play {{Halo}} 3 at Fordham's video game tournament? --->'''Master Chief''': * nods* --->'''Nerd:''' and SuperSmashBros. Brawl? --->'''Captain Falcon:''' Yes! --->'''Nerd:''' And Street fighter 4? --->'''BeatPanel''' --->'''Nerd:''' Ken? --->'''Ken:''' Sure''you''can! **** [[PrimeEvil I]] swear to high heaven that, in the arcade version of ''Street Fighter 2,'' someone calls his attack with "Cool Whip." It's like, he's getting ready to throw a punch, and all of a sudden he comes out with, "COOL WHIP! COOL WHIP!" Who is this guy, and why is he spouting random ProductPlacement? ** Is Sephiroth's HPToOne attack in ''KingdomHearts'' "Descend, Heartless Angel" or "Sin Harvest"? ** Whatever he says may be inaudible, but it's definitely not "Sin Harvest", it's way too long to be that. He says it clearer in ''KingdomHeartsII'' as well. However, talking of KingdomHearts, I found a few amusing ones of my own. One of which is Goofy's cry when he's low on HP, which is "Somebody come quick!". It took me a while to realise that he wasn't saying "Somebody call Quinn!", whoever Quinn was. Another is Xigbar's attack where he changes the background/area. APPARENTLY what he says is "You betcha!", but I still insist on what I hear, mainly because I think it's a lot cooler and very fitting: "NEW BACKDROP!" I also can't really tell what he says when he starts his uber-attack - apparently it's "I'm gonna dance for ya!", but it sounds to me like "New little dance for ya!" or "Got a new dance for ya!" Xemnas's "Bind!" sounds a lot like "Mine!" or "Find!", which is just confusing. *** This troper is convinced that it's ''both'', and SquareEnix has just been screwing with everyone. *** Given the presence of an attack called [[http://finalfantasy.wikia.com/wiki/Heartless_Angel Heartless Angel]] in Final Fantasy VII, I'd be inclined to believe the former. ** From {{Mega Man}} [[MegaManZero Zero]] and [[MegaManZX ZX]], Omega Zero's taunt. This troper heard it's supposed to be "Ware wa meshia nari," or "I will be the messiah." His Japanese-speaking friends have come up with translations such as "I'm the missionary" and "I will be the mercenary." He always thought it was "I'm the bishounen," which he still thinks makes the most sense of any of them. ** This troper and her friends swore up and down that Setzer's prebattle phrase in KingdomHearts II was "My life is a chicken pot-pie." Admittedly it made no sense, but it was hilarious. Even this troper's mother thought that's what it was. It's actually "My life is a chip in your pile", which we probably should've realized considering he's a) a gambler and b)his other phrase is "Time to ante up!" * This troper has been unable to hear one line in Five For Fighting's 'Superman' as anything other than "Looking for special things and

sodomy". (The actual lyric is "Looking for special things inside of me.") What makes it worse is that the line is repeated several times. "And sodomy, and sodomy, and so-domy..." * "In sodomy and such a part of you" for "Inside of me and such a part of you" from The Smashing Pumpkins' "Disarm" -- same with "slip away in sodomy" for "snip away and sever this" from A Perfect Circle's song "Orestes". This troper has a dirty mind. Fairly sure I sang the former before I knew what the word meant, resulting in some embarrassment. ** This troper had ''all'' of the above "inside of me/ in sodomy" examples above, as well as one in U2's "City Of Blinding Lights": "can yooooouuuu... see the beauty in sodomy?" ** I also could never really take "Today" by Smashing Pumpkins seriously, because I keep hearing "My belly stings" as the thematically appropriate but much more narmy "Life really stinks!". ** "I steal a kiss from her sleep-enchanted boobs," from In the Arms of Sleep by The Smashing Pumpkins. Real lyrics - "I steal a kiss from her sleeping shadow moves." This troper reckons the mondegreen makes far more sense. * "The aubergine is falling" was heard by this troper instead of "The old regime is falling" in Steely Dan's old track "Old Regime". Then again, it wouldn't be too strange for the guys of Steely Dan to come up with a song about falling eggplants -- and it would probably even have been better. * Back when she was an innocent 14-year-old francophone, [[{{Cassy}} this troper]] understood the line "give me a sign" in Britney Spears's "Baby One More Time" as "give me a son." Of course, in 2008, we all know that Britney Spears is such a dedicated mom. * And this wacky {{Cassy}} also has trouble with the ''{{FullmetalAlchemist}}'' song ''Hagane no Kokoro''... At one point, Ed says "ore hitori" ("me alone") but, try as she may, this troper still hears "kitori" and can't help thinking of... * [[LuckyStar I buy sausage.]] ** This troper hears it as "I like sundaes." ** I hear "I ''want'' sausage" or "I want something". ** [[MemeticMutation I LIKE CHOCOLATE]] ** This troper has heard both "I spy something" and "Eins, zwei, something". ** This troper, when encountering a foreign language, ''accepts that it is not English'', and just tries to listen to what the ''words'' are... Except that "san sen" part always sounds like "sunset" to me... ** This troper heard "I buy something". ** This troper keeps hearing "I like zombies" or "It's in zombies", which don't make too much sense. * [[http://www.rathergood.com/elephants/ "Elephants, Yeah!"]] (The Italian words Pavarotti is really singing are "e di pensier.") ** This troper's family tend to come out with "Elephants Ears" whenever someone mentions Pavorotti. * This troper had several of these when he was a child, but the most memorable was "Let's form a patio" ("Waitin' for my daddio", Thin Lizzie's ''Whiskey in the Jar''). ** If you look at the original folk song's lyrics it's something more like "whack fol the daddy-o", which makes no sense at all anyway.

** This troper used to hear 'Mush a-rain da-ma-doo da-ma-da,' as 'Watch the rain on the hood of my car,' * This troper was convinced that the line in Hall and Oates' "Maneater" was "Oh you should know" instead of "Whoa here she comes". * This troper with a ''different'' "Maneater": "Bumpalope" (which has no meaning) for "fall in love" in the chorus of Nelly Furtado's recent song. (Of course, most of that CD is halfway unintelligible--but it sounds good, and based on the prevalence of English being mixed into anime theme songs, that's really all that matters.) Naturally, once I found out the truth (Lyrics.com is your friend!), [[SpiriTsunami I]] [[ShamelessSelfPromoter then set out to change the bit]] [[{{Dream}} about "Bumpalope" having no meaning.]] * This troper just found out that her sister has been mishearing the line "Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me" from Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody" as "The [[EldritchAbomination Elder Gods]] have a devil put aside for me." Somehow, this troper likes that version better. ** This troper has just learned from the CulturePolice page that "Bohemian Rhapsody" does ''not'' mention Mitch Miller. ** This troper had a radio show about mondegreens in high school, and one of the funniest ones she found was for this same line, only it was "The albatross is a very fright'ning bird indeed!" She still sings along with it that way more often than not. ** This troper thought the line was "Beelzebub has a devil for a son for me" for a very long time. * This editor always hears the {{Foreign Sounding Gibberish}} in The Real Tuesday Weld's "Bathtime in Clerkinwell" as "One of you could have been this damn loco". Officially, it's "Wale-den-de-bobo-den-dibili-d an-lo-no". * Apparently, ''Move Along'' by The All-American Rejects has been misheard as "Mow the Lawn". This troper's brother found that hilarious, and is now trying to rewrite the song to fit the theme. * This troper thought for the longest time the Sixties were refered to as "sex and drums and rock and roll." * Listening to ChristopherLee's sublime [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5HZOemIcys Charlemagne]], [[Tropers/{{Gunarao}} This Troper]] heard the line "To subject those pagans to Christian [[LargeHam RUUUUUUUUUUULE!]]" as "To subject those pagans to [[{{Sonichu}} Chris-Chan]] [[LargeHam RUUUUUUUUUUULE!]]" * This troper thought the words "figgy pudding" in ''We Wish You A Merry Christmas'' were actually "piggy pudding." It seems [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2tK4llr6rs&feature=related someone else]] thought it went that way, too. ** This troper thought the lyrics said "frickin' pudding", which changes the meaning somewhat. * This troper always hears the line in Black Sabbath's "War Pigs" as "sorcerers of desconstruction" instead of "death's construction". * This Troper's girlfriend turned the sort-of lyrics (they're really a digitally synthesized voice-over) in the song "This Shit will Fuck You Up" by Aggrotech band Combichrist from being a vulgar sex BDSM reference into a drug reference. Original lyric: "I am a slut, please hold me down" Her Mondegreened version: "My mind is light, these hold me down" -- it would get a PMRC sticker either way.

* This troper remembers, as a little kid, two egregious examples. First, that "Don't know much about" song -- "Don't know much about the French-eyed cook/Don't know much about the French I took" -- and then there was some song by Pat Benatar (I think) in the early 80s/late 70s. It sai "Treat me right" but as a kid I swore I heard "J.P. Ross" (and wondered who that was) * While this troper never ''really'' misheard it, he noted that the eponymous line in the chorus to Depeche Mode's ''Dead of Night'' can be easily replaced with "We are the ''Jedi Knights''" rather than " We are the Dead of Night". Aditionally, while not a lyric (from a human anyway), there's a repeating noise in the song that ''really really'' sounds like a screeching guinea pig. If you know the song, listen to it with these things in mind and try not to crack up laughing at a darkwave/gothy synthpop song featuring a guinea pig and singing about Jedi Knights. ** Until reading the above, this troper ''did'' think they sang "Jedi Knights" ... * This troper had wondered for years why he heard Bush on the radio singing about Listerine. Then he was corrected. Now he wonders why they sung about Glycerine. * Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Bush, and the Spin Doctors always created Mondegreens in this Troper's ears. Surprisingly, most of Nirvana's lyrics are still unknown to me even though they were one of my favorite bands. ** It doesn't help that Bush songs often have WordSaladLyrics - in "Body" this troper was always hearing "your trout is on fire" instead of "your ''child'' is on fire", the former didn't even seem like an especially odd lyric coming from them. * The beats in the songs in EliteBeatAgents sometimes make the words hard to hear. This troper once thought that the chorus of ''La La'' went, "You make me wanna murder!/You make me want an airplane! Even kids are on the floor!" ** That may actually be on purpose ([[GettingCrapPastTheRadar and also how they got that song into a G-rated game]]). ** I got "You make me want to murder, clean the kitchen on the floor, I will keep bitching, till I meet you at the door". * This troper is completely sure that the composer of all the music in the first anime of Hellsing (except for the ending) is delighted by the fact that millions of otakus are still trying to find a "true" interpretation of the opening song. ** One of the lines in the opening sounds like "I'll be stoned, I'll be waiting." * This troper knew a guy who sang the line in the Eagles' "Hotel California" "Her mind is definitely twisted" not "Her mind is Tiffanytwisted". He became really upset after being corrected. ** The question is then did she get the Mercedes Benz or the Mercedes ''Bends''? * The opening to ''AzumangaDaioh: The Animation'' is called "Soramimi Cake"... meaning it's likely to contain a few itself, though this troper can't identify any. ** Probably because it's sung with long pauses between syllables: So.....Ra..... Mii-Mii Ca-ke

*** Upon first hearing that line (without subtitles), this troper thought it may have been some oblique reference to Do-Re-Mi solfege syllables. In her defense, the "so" and "ra" ([[JapaneseRanguage pronounced as "la"]]) are actually the correct syllables for the pitches on which they're sung. And she could tell, off the bat, too. ** This Troper, before getting it on DVD, mondegreened just about every lyric while singing it to himself, mondegreening the (GratuitousEnglish!) lyrics into character names and meaningful lines. The only one he can remember was "N-ya-mo/Run away, [[DrivesLikeCrazy Yukari's driving]]" ("Cake for you/chiisana shiawase") * "Dressin' with the worms" ("Address me with your words"), from "Oopaatsu" in ''TheWorldEndsWithYou''. Although it ''would'' explain always dressing in rags... ** Listen to [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbtgRrLAvQg Detonation]] and tell me "the right to get another portion" doesn't sound like "the right to ''get an abortion''." *** This troper heard "cuddle with the sorrow" in that song as "color with the pharaoh". * {{Rihanna}}'s "Weasel Stomping Music", er, "''Please Don't Stop The'' Music". [[WeirdAlYankovic "Weasel Stomping Day"]] probably had something to do with this. ** I also just remembered that the first time I heard "Breakin' Dishes" I was hearing "I'm-a fight a man tonight" as "I'm a fireman tonight". * The first time this troper heard "I Might Be Wrong" by {{Radiohead}}. he was almost convinced "Open up and let me in" was "Open up a can of beans". * [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TckpRsT4unE "Son of Sun"]] by [[{{CrowningMusic/VideoGames}} Shinji Hosoe]]: "I want some pussy, god damn! I want some pussy, heeeeeeeeeeeeey!" * As if the line "Backstage, under age..." line from Bell Biv [=DeVoe=]'s "Do Me" didn't already add enough {{squick}} to the song, this troper misheard it as "backstage, under eight". * This troper was told of a friend's father hearing TheyMightBeGiants' "For Science" and wondering aloud why such a big deal was being made about kissing "the girl from Phoenix" (in fact it's "the girl from ''Venus''"). If you think of the original lyrics with this in mind, the whole song becomes about the narrator sacrificing himself for the love of [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotAwesome some girl from Arizona]]: "Signals declare there's one among us... ''From Phoenix!''", "I will kiss the girl from Phoenix, flowers die and so will I, I will kiss the girl from Phoenix for science!" ** Shh! You have to be quiet! ''We can't let the ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' fangirls find out!!'' * This troper has misheard the "love glue-gunning" line from Lady Gaga's "Poker Face" as "love glue ''[[CodeGeass Guren]]''." Kallen should probably play that song the next time she sorties in the Guren SEITEN. I suppose it could also be [[TengenToppaGurrenLagann Gurren]], but I doubt it'd work as well. * Thanks to a Fauxtivational Poster, Lady Gaga's 'I'm your biggest fan, I'll follow you until you love me!' from Paparazzi is now 'I'm your biggest fan, I'll follow you until you f*** me!'

** I heard it as "I'm your ''latest'' fan, I'll follow you until you ''want'' me". ** ''Papa, papa loves me''. This troper has read too many incest tropes. * During a car trip with her mom where This Troper picked the music (David Bowie's ''Heroes''), she had to clarify to Mom that he was singing "The Secret Life of Arabia," not "The Secret Life of a Labia." * I misheard Monty Python's "Sit On My Face & Tell Me That You Love Me" as "Cinema Days, When We Were Young & Lovely". * TheKinks' "Got My Feet On The Ground": "Well I don't need nobody else, all I need's a single chicken" (instead of "...all I need's a single ''ticket''"). I figured it out soon enough through context, since the next line is "...when I travel on my own", but it does sound a lot like that. Kind of an odd parallel to [[TheBeatles "she's got a chicken to ride"]] there... * The closest this troper's friend could come to deciphering one line of "Rocket Man" by Elton John was "burnin' like a piece of herra bone" - herra bone would presumably be some sort of flammable substance none of us had heard of. After some debate, someone finally looked it up, and discovered it's actually "burnin' out his fuse out here alone". Time could have been saved if any of us had been familiar with the WilliamShatner version back then, since he, er, [[LargeHam enunciates it much more clearly]]. * [[{{kitsunezeta}} This troper]] seems to always end up mishearing at least one part of any given song by Shinedown. he was among those that thought it was "Shooting" instead of "She waved" in ''Second Chance'', and he thought the lyric in the chorus of ''The Sound of Madness'' was "You can sleep with a gun|when you gonna wake up and '''FIRE!'''" (the correct word there is "Fight", BTW) * This one is instantly funny if you are a Dane. Red Hot Chili Peppers's Soul to Squeeze have the lyrics: "When I find my piece of mind". Thanks to Anthony Kiedis's rather incomprehensive way of singing this line it comes out as "When I find my tissemand". Tissemand is a danish word for penis which is usually considered a childish euphemism. * This Troper's dad has a band (named Three Husbands on the Loose) made up of old school friends. Whenever they sing "There's a Bad Moon on the Rise" they almost always sing the last line as the mondegreen "There's a bathroom on the right," which was learned from a book entitled "And Then I'll Kiss This Guy and Other Mondegreens" (Or something like that.) He has also misheard part of the AhMyGoddess song Coro di Dea (Voices of Goddesses) as "Screw you all." It's in [[OminousLatinChanting latin]]. And in choir class he purposely missung the phrase "I've got a ticket to ride" as "I've got a chicken to ride." (Sometimes replacing "chicken" with [[FinalFantasy "Chocobo"]] if he was sitting beside someone who would get the joke). * This troper had a bit of a WTF moment when she first heard the chorus to "In View" by The Tragically Hip. She initially thought it went "crumbling stars, crumbling skies", instead of "phone rings once," etc. * This troper once mentioned a "shottogan" (_$B%7%g%C%H%,%s_(B, meaning "shotgun") while speaking in Japanese. His friend thought he

said "{{Shotacon}}". {{Squick}} ensued. * This troper was rather confused when, listening to [[TengenToppaGurrenLagann Viral's]] themesong, she heard a line that sounded for all the world like "Stick a finger in your eye." (A lyric search revealed it was actually "The speck of fear grows in your eyes," but she still can't stop hearing the Mondegreen.) * This troper nearly thought that Madonna's "La Isla Bonita" was actually "LuckyStar Bonita", but knew better. Having said that, though, he will still swear that Joni Mitchell's "Big Yellow Taxi" "had a pink pair of dice and pulled up a f** king lot". ** I heard it as "paved paradise and put up a fucking lie". I remember being in Limited Too when I was like 12 and it was playing on the radio, I was like, 'Woah, what the heck are they playing on the radio in a kids store?!'. *** This troper heard it as ''They baked paradise and put up a fuckin' lie''. To be fair, he had a bad day and was in an emo mode, and never did question how the hell did the song make it to Malaysian public radio without censorship. He also still thinks his is better than the original. * Fallout Boy have a lot of MemeticMutation spread mondegreens to begin with, but the first time this troper heard "Sugar We're Going Down" on the radio he wondered how they managed to get the line "Wishing to be the freak shitting your jeans" in without an edit. Of course, it's actually "wishing to be the ''friction'' in your jeans". * ToriAmos is an interesting case. Her lyrics will ''always'' be stranger than what you think you heard. For instance, this troper thought the line in "Silent All These Years" went "What if I'm alone in these jeans of yours with her name still on them?" and it turns out she's saying "What if I'm a ''mermaid'' in these jeans of yours..." ** This troper first heard the lyric as "what if I ''were murdered''...". Not sure if this qualifies as less strange or not. ** What about "Police Me"? This troper thought she said "You are storing blackberry girl." (like someone kidnapped blackberry girl). It turns out that what this troper misheard was the combination of two lyrics: "...you are storming. Blackberry girl..." *** This troper misheared a lot of lyrics in "Riot Poof": *** "Driving up the boogie..." ("...your dried lean meat...") *** "I guess that I'm stepping in to your space o-di two ("Black sahara/I'm stepping in/to your space oddity") * In the song "You Shook Me All Night Long" by AC/DC, this troper always mishears the first line as "she was a fax machine." ** Speaking of AC/DC, ''this'' troper had a friend who was shocked when I pointed out that the "Highway to Hell" line, "she's a n***** on a one-way ride" was, in fact, "season ticket on a one-way ride." Since this conversation, I ''can't'' hear it the right way anymore. ** Dirty Jeans, and DUN-GA-REES! *** Dirty D's and the Dunder Chief! Dirty Deeds and they're Thunder Cheap! **** THANK GOD I'm not alone in the former one. **** Thirty thieves and the thunder chief!(note, that is NOT mine, I read it in a book of mondegreens) ** Two examples: One, hearing "Heatseeker" (from Blow Up Your Video)

as "Cocksucker" (it makes more sense, given that the lyrics are along the lines of "Get your head down and blow") and hearing "High voltage rock and roll" as "High voltage cock and balls". Given the fact that Brian Johnson is incomprehensible, to say the least, and Bon Scott is Bon Scott, this is probably deliberate. * TheBeatles: "Real Love". I heard "All my little plans and schemes / Lost like some forgotten dreams" as "All my little pandas asleep..." The idea of John Lennon tucking in panda cubs and turning out the light was so cute I never wanted to learn the real lyrics. ** How about hearing "No need to be alone" as "Only to be alone"? It's amazing how something like that can transform a song from a [[SillyLoveSongs happy love ballad]] to a much darker song about love and loss. * "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds", by TheBeatles. This Troper heard that as "Dookie in the Sky with Diamonds" ** For a while, this guy heard it as "Lucy is so High she's Dyin'," which, knowing 60's rock songs, is probably closer to the actual meaning. *** This troper thought it was "Lucy's in a fight with Linus", before she knew what it was called. ** "The girl with colitis goes by" instead of "The girl with kaleidoscope eyes" * This is how the Beatles got into drugs - Bob Dylan misheard the line "I can't hide" in ''I Wanna Hold Your Hand'' as "I get high", thought they were already part of the drugs scene, and thus accidentally introduced them to it. ** As The Beatles were doing speed like wildcat truckers just to get through five shows a night back in their Hamburg days, this story might be taken with a grain of salt. *** The problem is the words 'drugs scene': the Beatles got introduced to speed in Hamburg, where the place was replete with it due to its being given to U.S. military personnel. Marijuana was generally smoked by jazz and some folk musicians (rockers generally did speed and alcohol, which explains a '''lot''' about JohnnyCash, and no-one called using it 'getting high'. (Dylan did both.) * This troper's husband, a model trains freak, heard Dylan's "Preoccupied with his vengeance" (in "Can You Please Crawl Out Your Window?") as "Preoccupied with his engines". * "All the single ladies" ("Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)" by Beyonce); this troper heard it as "I'm a cigarette!" ** "All my pringle haters" is one from a friend of this troper. Must have been hungry. ** "I'm missin' the lettuce" ** This Troper thought it was "I wanna see your legs!" * "Soy un perdedor" (''Loser'' by Beck); [[@/GreenSkar This Troper]] and his friends always used to sing "Say 'Oh, Canada,'" and we were always puzzling over it. * This Troper was very upset upon learning that the song "Put your ass up in the air" by Baracuda was not, in fact, about "giraffes in the air." ** As [[http://giraffesintheair.ytmnd.com/ a quick search at YTMND will demonstrate]], you are ''far'' from the only one to make that

mistake. * "Eight-tracks, Bernie Goetz" ("AIDS, crack, Bernie Goetz", "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel) ** Also, is it, "...Mickey Mantle, Cadillac..." or "...Mickey Mantle, Kerouac..."? *** Kerouac. ** Bernie Goetz, hm? Never having heard of him/her before, this troper always heard 'burning kids'... *** "Burning kids" recalls the famous photo of the Veitnam War with the young girl running down the road naked (she had pulled her clothes off because they were on fire due to napalm), so it kind of fits with the "timeline" concept of this song (though it's anachronistic: the song's in the '80s by then, and the war was over in the late '70s). *** This troper initially heard 'burning ''heads'''. * "Son can you play me a memory" (Billy Joel's ''Piano Man''); This troper pretty much always hears "Some kinda play me a memory", even after knowing what's actually being said. ** This troper always thought it was "Son can ya play me a melody", which fits pretty well. * "Take the back right turn" is how I heard the Beatles' "Paperback Writer" for a long time. * This troper could never understand what the ''hell'' was being said during a portion of Blur's ''Coffee & TV''. Lyric sources seem to argue between "Easily", "History", "Misery", "Peacefully" (which is what she personally hears) and "Please don't leave" for the second line in the chorus. ** For the record, it's officially "History". * This troper and her family heard "Asshole protector" instead of "Astral projector" at the end of "Is that you, Mo-Dean?" by The B52's. Made funnier by the fact that it repeats till the end. * "There's a bad moon on the rise" ("Bad Moon Rising" by Creedence Clearwater Revival); this troper's heard "There's a [[EverythingsBetterWithMonkeys baboon on the right]]". ** This troper used to hear "Willie and the Poor Boys a-playin'", from "Down on the Corner", as "Willie and the Pope was a-playin'". * "Rock the dance floor" (from Will Smith's "Will 2k"); this Troper's favourite (intentional) misheard version is "Fuck the Death Star." ** Fuck the Death Star, Fuck the Death Star, the Emperor don't like it? * "Ya never gonna keep me down" (Chumbawumba's "Tubthumping"); I always hear "I have it on a big guitar" ** As a kid, I always heard that part of the song not as "I get knocked down, but I get up again; ya never gonna keep me down", but as "I get [[{{Pokemon}} Noctowl]], but I get yolk-n-egg; ya never gonna kick guitar". I still wonder if there was something in my Dr. Pepper that day... * ''Caramelldansen!''; This Troper and her friends misheard part of the chorus as "Yours only yours, I'm not afraid of Batman's hips don't lie." Oh dear... ** This Troper thought part of the chorus of Caramelldansen was "You show me yours, and I'll show you mine, then," the first time I heard it.

** The second line of the chorus ("Klappa era hnder", apparently) will forever be "Cat fucking a handbag" to This Troper. ** There's one line that I can only hear now as "Oh Vic, I need a hamster, la la la." ** This troper can't hear anything but this: --> ''Dont' sell me oats'' --> ''Papa ate a ham, and'' --> ''Yours only yours'' --> ''I wanna stink of bad spam'' --> ''This no lie'' --> ''Meesa ate the crumbs and'' --> ''Look really high'' --> ''Me caught a male dancer'' ** In case you're wondering, said troper probably watched or created [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AgL6XoeDmcQ this youtube video]]. I don't blame her/him, after watching that, I had those lyrics stuck in my head too. ** This troper hears something in Italian that would be translated in this way: --> ''Yeah, jump the pits'' --> ''Unite your butt and bang bang'' --> ''Yes, i'm the best'' --> ''But my grandpa wrote "Desden"'' --> ''I did it good over everyone else'' --> ''After looking at stuff'' --> ''About sailors'' --> ''And Caramelldansen'' ** If you're wondering, in Italian would be: --> ''Yeah, salta i fossi'' --> ''Chiappa unita bang bang,'' --> ''Yes, son migliore'' --> ''Ma nonno ha scritto "Desden"'' --> ''Li smarronai,'' --> ''Viste l le cose'' --> ''Dei marinai'' --> ''E del Caramelldansen'' * I went through much of my life thinking Carly Simon's "You're So Vain" had a line referencing "Clowns in my coffee". I pictured her hallucinating tiny clowns swimming in her java. It was only two years ago that I found out it was "Clouds in my Coffee" which makes more sense but provides a far less amusing image. ** [[{{Momonga}} This troper]] found out it was "clouds" fairly early, but being a very literal-minded child, thought there were actually miniature clouds (nimbus, cirrus and all) hovering over the cup of coffee... which seemed, to her, just as odd as clowns swimming about. A few weeks ago her boyfriend explained that it was supposed to mean the coffee was cloudy from milk or something in it. Who'd have thought? * This Troper watched episode six of ''Series/DoctorWho'' and thought that the Garlic Race were hateful, evil beings. Turns out they were saying DALEK race. As one could imagine, the British accents didn't help.

* "Smoke on the water/Fire in the sky" (''Smoke on the Water'' by Deep Purple); this troper used to think it was "Slow Cousin Walter/Fire between his thighs". * Barenaked Ladies' subverted {{Mondegreen}} "Slow Uncle Walter/The fire engine guy" for "Smoke on the water/Fire in the sky": This Troper would have bet money that the line was "The slow-motion walker / the fire engine guy", assuming some sort of "time slows to a stop when you're about to die" situation. * In DrHorriblesSingAlongBlog, this troper first believed that Dr. Horrible's line "hammer, meet nail" was "[[FoeYay hammer me now]]!" Luckily, she caught it the second time... ** Subconscious HoYay, perhaps? *** I still hear "hammer me, nail." I guess I always thought it was sort of a ha-ha you can't get me moment. ** Also in Dr Horrible, this troper always heard "the brain that you receive will be your last we swear" instead of "the grade that you receive". Frankly, the whole getting a brain in the mail sounds a lot more sinister and befitting of the Thoroughbred of Sin. *** This troper has a friend who first thought Bad Horse was Bad Whores. Which...could've made the movie a bit more interesting. *** This troper managed to hear "So make the banners steeple," in that song. I still have NO idea what the real lyric is. **** That'll be "So make the Bad Horse gleeful". ** I could have sworn that the first time I heard Brand New Day I heard a lyric that went "I could list a million reasons why it's a brand new day," where the actual lyric is "How I hesitated, now I wonder why, it's a brand new day" * "just got into town about an hour ago" (Jim Morrison); this troper initially heard "I took a little downer 'bout an hour ago". Thus explaining the slurring. * The Decemberists' ''Summersong'' -- even though this troper knows the lyrics are "my girl, linen and curls," every time she hears it, she can only hear "my girl, anything curls." ** This troper thought it was "Lenin in curls" until right this minute. Sure, it's weird, but it ''is'' the Decemberists. * "Hold me closer, tiny dancer" ("Tiny Dancer" by Elton John); this editor first heard it as "Hold me close and tie me down, sir", and has never quite been able to get the image out of his head. ** And [[AcrossTheStars this editor]] has always heard it as, "Hold me close, it's time to dance now," which, considering some of the entries on this page, is actually quite benign. ** Conversation between this troper and his best friend: "Hold me close, I'm trying to dance here..." "Don't you mean 'hold me closer, tiny dancer'?" "Those aren't the words." "I think you'll find they are." ** [[CrazyCatLadyIRL This]] troper still sings her preferred lyrics, "''Hold me closer, Tony Danza''" * "I'm blue da ba dee da ba di da ba dee da ba di" (Eiffel 65, ''Blue (Da Ba Dee)''); this Troper once thought it was "I'm blue and in need of a guy . . . " ** This Troper heard "I must live, I must die", overestimating the philosophical depth of the lyrics.

** "I'm blue, if I was green I would die, I'm a blue apple pie, if I was green I would die" is how an old friend of this troper used to sing the chorus to "I'm Blue" ("Da ba dee da ba di") when he was young. This troper still sings it that way. ** "If I was green I would die" is supposedly part of the official lyrics. It doesn't show up the first time the chorus is sung, but if you listen closely on subsequent choruses it's hard to deny it. *** Except that the band did. Ain't no official lyrics that say that, and WordOfGod is that it doesn't. *** * groans* This troper heard it as the "Da ba dee" version first, ''then'' saw it with "...green I would die" line and thought she was ''correcting'' herself. '''Double''' Mondegreen'd. ** I always heard it as alternatively "I'm in need of a diet" or "Got my feet on the Nile". ** I still hear "I'm indeed a blue guy." ** Or "In Aberdeen I will die". I'd be pretty blue if I knew I was going to die in Aberdeen. ** Or "Die, Dima, die". If you happen to have crossed paths with an annoying guy named Dima, anyways. ** This troper heard it as "I'm blue, I will beat up a dolly". Thought it was about a hikikomori who took out his frustration on Barbie dolls due to his inability to score, if you know what I mean. ** This song is ideal fodder for mondegreening -- as shown above, there are any number of different things that sound kind of like the syllables being sung, and I recall that when my friends and I were told it was just nonsense words, some of us refused to believe it. * Electric Six, ''Danger! High Voltage''; for years, This Troper heard, "Don't you want to know how many kids died in fires?!" instead of "...how we keep starting fires?!" * This troper used to wonder what Eric Clapton's lady friend had against Spokane, Washington. You know--"She don't like, she don't like, she don't like--Spokane!" Learning that the name of the song was "Cocaine" cleared things up a ''lot.'' ** ... Except the city is pronounced "spo-can," not "spo-cane." *** This troper was also kind of a dumb kid. * Any Eurobeat song (and most from ParaPara). The lyrics are already nonsensical, so adding mondegreens just makes them more so. My personal favorite is in "One Night in Arabia," where the line "it makes me feel like dyin', really" sounds like "it makes me feel like diarrhea." ** "Shake your body, move" versus "Sheik Yarbati moves." The funny part? The latter is correct. * "the funk soul brother" (''Rockafeller Skank'' by Fatboy Slim): ** "The farts will smother." ** "The funk's so rubber" ** To me it always sounded like they alternated between "funk so rubber" and "funk so bruva". ** "The fox-hole brother" ...yeah, we were way off... ** Stretched to "my faulty gas meter" by ''NeverMindTheBuzzcocks''. ** I always thought it was "The funk's on, brother." ** I always heard it as "Ride it out now, the bun-sole brother" ** I knew someone who thought it was "Who the fuck's your brother?".

Despite the fact that this would be a ''lot'' of f-bombs for a song that got played on the radio so often. * This troper thought the ''FamilyGuy'' theme song included the lyrics "All the things that make us effing cry". ("All the things that make us laugh and cry".) He wasn't the only one, as lampshaded in the Season 1 DVD audio commentary. ** This troper's father thought it said "All the things that make us effing Christ". ** The lyric is frequently given as that in closed captioning as well. ** Despite the [[DeadBabyComedy nature of the show]], the lyrics were never meant to be "effin' cry". Seth [=MacFarlane=] eventually rerecorded that line to make it clearer. * "I'm a leading man/And the lies I weave are/Oh so intricate" (Fall Out Boy's ''This Ain't a Scene, it's an Arms Race''): I thought it was "I'm an ''evil'' man/and the lives I weave are/oh so intricate". Of course, most Fall Out Boy songs seem to suffer from this in this tropers opinion. ** I thought it was "I believe in love/And the laws of evil/Are oh-sointricate". *** "I'm a leaning man/And the lies are even/[[{{Squick}} Also into cats]]" ** This troper thought it was "I believe in man/And the lives I lead are/Oh so intricate"; she also ''heard'' the last part as "oh so into cats", but figured that wasn't it. ** I always heard "I'm a little man/And I'm also evil/Also into cats". ** Also, "This ain't a scene, it's a: [[DeadHorseTrope DEAD. HORSE.]] RACE!" ** [[http://www.speterdavis.com This ain't a CD, it's a GUN! DAD! ARSE! FACE!]] ** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVkfnW9Jomo This ain't a city, it's a GOTHAM ARSE RACE!]] ** [[ThatsNoMoon This ain't a city,]] it's a [[{{Gundam}} GUNDAM!]] [[LensmanArmsRace ARMS! RACE!]] (It made sense in this troper's mind.) ** Contributing my own: This ain't a scene, it's a GOD! SENDS! ARM! BRACE! I have no idea what he says after that. What ''is'' he saying when signs "Dominican" anyways? Lastly, "I'm a bleeding man! And the wives I leave are oh-so into math! ''Oh-so into maaaath!"'' ** This aint a scene, it's a God damn arse face/ arse rape. Take your pick of those two ** This troper was initially wondering how they were getting away with the uncensored line "Wishing to be the freak shittin' your jeans" in "Sugar We're Going Down". Of course, it was "wishing to be the ''friction'' in your jeans". "Friction" ''is'' kind of enunciated like "freak-shin" though. *** You mean it's not "friction in your ''sheets''"? Damn, don't know how many times I've heard that song and I never knew. *** Also from "Sugar We're Going Down", "I'm watching Youtube in the closet". The real lyrics were "watching ''you two'' from the closet". This troper loves Patrick Stump dearly, but he needs to learn to enunciate. ** "Dan's pants, are falling apart at halftime..." * ''Help Me Rhonda'', heard as "Happy Hanukkah" by this troper's dad.

To be fair, it was December. * Ayumi Hamasaki's music is a veritable vault of these for this nonJapanese-speaking troper. "We are dancing, you can't take my car" and "Come on, [[DeathNote Matsuda]], no one likes you" from "Glitter" especially. * Go West's ''King of Wishful Thinking'' always cracked this editor up because of a repeated line that sounds a ''lot'' like "I pretend my shit's not stinkin'!" It's supposed to be "ship's not sinking," I hear. * One line from the ''GoodTimes'' theme song is, which the troper always thought was "hangin' in the jungle" is apparently heard by others as "hangin' in a chow line." According to TheOtherWiki, it's actually "hangin' in and jivin'." * Most of "Warning" by Green Day is hard to understand but it's hard not to hear: -->Gosh! Darn! Police line! (Caution! Police line!) -->You better not cross -->It's the cardboard kind (Is the cop or am I) -->The kind that's really dangerous (The one that's really dangerous?) ** The first time this troper heard "Brain Stew", she thought he was singing "I'm counting sheep and running nude...no rest for cough drops in my mind." ** When this troper first heard "When I Come Around" there was a line he was almost certain was "Sell donuts at my door". It is in fact "So don't knock down my door". *** This troper thought the exact same thing, so much so that I'll never be able to hear anything else. *** Really? This tropers swears that she hears the line "You've been searching for that someone/and it's me out on the prowl" as... "Jimmy says it's from that someone/and it's me and I'm the ground." ** For the longest time in "F.O.D." I was hearing "I'm takin' pride/ in telling you to fuck off and die" as "I'll take your bride/ intelligent as a coffee grind". At the time I thought this meant 1) he planned to sleep with the wife of the subject of the song, and 2) he was comparing the subject of the song's intelligence to that of a coffee grinder (or possibly a single piece of ground coffee). * ("Our Lips Are Sealed" by The Go-Gos); this troper always hears it as ''I Love Cecile''. * This troper is surprised that no one has mentioned J-pop group Iceman's song ''Shining Collection'' from the {{Gravitation}} OVA, considering it has a [[http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/157598 pretty well known flash animation]] based on it. * "One ton tomato, I ate a one ton tomato..." If these were the real lyrics to "Guantanamera", it would be a TomatoSurprise. ** This editor always heard it misinterpreted as "I ''need'' a one-ton tomato." For the world's biggest batch of pasta sauce, perhaps? ** Being Chinese, This Troper's dad likes to turn it into a bilingual intentional mondegreen: "one dolla mei lah (is missing)" every time he has to spend money. ** This troper would mention "Mystery Lifeguard", but that's another story. ** This troper's family is fond of screaming "One ton of make up!

She's wearing one ton of make up!" whenever we hear this song. ** So it's not "One ton sombrero" then? ** Nor is it "One, Tanah Merah"? (which may be a valid address in certain parts of Indonesia, Malaysia and Brunei). * In ''Something Bad'', I heard "And it's not like me to feel so important" as "And it's not like me to feel so afraid," which makes sense, and "I never thought I'd see it so exploited" as "I never thought I'd see it so explained," which doesn't really. * This troper's best friend swears she hears this when she listens to "This Ain't a Scene, it's an Arms Race" by Fall Out Boy: "THIS AIN'T A CITY IT'S A GOD. DAMN. ASS. FACE!" * I once had the misfortune to mishear "I want your body" by Geronimo Chief as [[NoJustNo "I want Joe Biden"]]. * This troper has always heard Girls Aloud's ''Love Machine'' as "give me a kiss or three, and a fag" rather than "give me a kiss or three, and I'm fine". She (as a Brit and therefore using the 'cigarette' related meaning of fag) truly believes that is a better, and more apt, lyric. * "I believe in miracles" (Hot Chocolate's ''You Sexy Thing''); this troper always heard it as "I believe in mangoes". ** "I believe in mail calls." * For some reason, Heart's "Dreamboat Annie" always sounded like "Dreamboat Eddie" to this troper. * Johnny Rivers' ''Secret Agent Man'': at least one ''{{Saiyuki}}'' fan hopes that someone will someday take it further and make an amv of ''Sacred Asian Man''. * "Kyrie eleison, down the road that I must travel" (Mr. Mister, ''Kyrie''); this troper always heard it interpreted as "carry a razor..." ** As a kid, this troper heard "carry a laser." Which made sense at the time, because a) it would light up the road, right? and b) lasers are awesome. * I've always heard "And it's whispered at Sue, if they all call the Jew..." in ''Stairway To Heaven''. ** Whatever Robert is singing near the end of ''In My Time of Dying'', it probably isn't "Ultra Jesus." * It is possible to mishear "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga as "Fucker face". ** According to the official page, "Fuck her face" is the actual line. ** This troper misheard the whole line "...can't read my poker face..." as "...carry my, poke her face...". ** I always heard it as "bunker place" *** And this (other) troper thought "can't read my" was "cutie pie". *** This troper unfortunately hears the repeating bit after the refrain of Lady Gaga's "Pokerface" as 'fuh-fuh-fuh-fuck her face, fuhfuh-fuck her face'. *** A close friend of this troper refuses to believe the line is anything but "Bob-Bob-Bob-Barker face, my Bob Barker face." ** This troper knows the first lines of the chorus to ''Paparazzi'' goes 'I'm your biggest fan, I'll follow you until you love me, papa, paparazzi', but it sounded like 'I'm your latest fan'. *** To this troper, "papa, mama loves me'. Yeah.

** The word are clearly, "but, but, but her face" or ... something. * The part of the ''[[LibertysKids Liberty's Kids]]'' theme song that's sung by Aaron Carter is barely intelligible. Specifically, I heard "give that freedom bell a rattle" as "give that freedom deadly rattle" and "declare it on the dotted line" as "declare it all a diamond mine." * Instead of the actual lyrics from 'Thanks for the Memories' "Collecting page six lovers", I heard "Collecting patient's lovers." * "The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night" (Louis Armstrong's ''What a Wonderful World''); this troper has also seen the first part rendered "The bride blessed the day." * "Last night I dreamt of San Pedro" (Madonna's ''La Isla Bonita''); this lurker-troper has always heard it as "Last night I dreamt of some Pedro"... * From the song ''Kings of the Nordic Twilight'' by Luca Turilli (though, to be fair, Olaf Hayer did the vocals), this troper always hears the line "the freshness of the dawn" as "the Frenchness of the dog". And subsequently pictures a dog wearing a beret and carrying a baguette. ''Every time.'' * This troper has always heard "No body told me there'd be ice cream," instead of "Nobody told me there'd be days like these," in John Lennon's "Nobody Told Me." * MichaelJackson: ** "The chair is not my son" ("The kid is not my son", ''Billie Jean''). Although it's ''close''... *** I thought it was "Michelle is not my son", which makes about as much sense. *** "Blue jeans are not my colour" ("Billie Jean is not my lover" but it sounds better this way ''dammit''.) **** The other option, "Billie Jean is not my mother", doesn't bear thinking about. **** Margarine is not like butter. *** This troper always heard "The kid is not my size". [[UnfortunateImplications DON'T.]] [[MemeticMolester FREAKING.]] [[{{Shotacon}} ASK.]] ** "She ran underneath the table/He could see she was an emo" ("...he could see she was unable." Michael Jackson ''Smooth Criminal''. [[{{Lurkerbunny}} This troper]] was hearing this a good ten years before the emo fad started, and thus it really was nonsense back then.) *** From the same song: "Annie get your wookiee/are you woking any?" ("Annie are you OK/are you OK, Annie?") No, seriously. That's what it sounds like. *** This troper first heard the lyrics as "Anything you want, 'kay? / You want, 'kay, any?". *** "Annie are you walking?/Are you walking, Annie?" *** [[CompletelyMissingThePoint What the hell does "neruok" mean, and why does he keep spelling it?]] *** I thought it was "Eddy are you ok" until I went to sing it at karroke. *** I thought that too; like "Eddie are you ok, but you're jealous, but you're ok..."

*** Pop-Up Video had a segment about this song. The mondegreens took up an entire chorus. *** Probably because of hearing the Alien Ant Farm cover long before the original, this troper (and his two sisters and two cousins) heard the gibberish "enee yuokee yuokee yuokee enee." The rest of the cover isn't much better if you don't already know what they're saying, either. And to add insult to injury, this troper can never hear the original without thinking the guitar is missing.... *** "There's a sign in the window that he struck you like a Shinto, Annie." (It's actually "a crescendo".) ** "I'm starting with the man in the river/I'm asking him to change his face/And no message could have been Andy Clever..." ** "Keep on with the post office, don't stop till you get enough..." (Actually "keep on with the force, don't stop.") *** You mean it's ''not'' "keep on with the Lone Star Stomp"? ** In the Jackson Five song "I'll Be There," this troper still kkinda hears "Togetherness is all I'm after..." as "Two dozen eggs is all I'm after..." Why would Michael be listing groceries in the middle of a sweet love song?? WHY?? ** [[{{X2X}} This Troper]] has heard the lines "[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soul_Makossa Mama-se, mama-sa, ma-macoo-sa]]" from ''Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' '' commonly misconstrued as "Mama say it on the side of the mountainside" and "Gonna say it on the side of the mountainside" ("mountainside" is sometimes replaced by "mountaintop"). [[TheSteveHarveyShow Steve Harvey]]'s nephew Tommy further butchered this on Steve's radio broadcast as "Gonna say it on the side of Michael's house", which is a deviant from the usual misinterpretation norm. How he got ''that'' far is a mystery to me. ** Morphine. As a kid, all I heard near the end of the song was, "You just, sit around jive talkin' in your Bar Mitzvah!" x4. (Actual: "You just sit around just talkin' about it, ah!"). To be honest, I still hear it now. * Matthew Wilder's ''Break My Stride'': this troper hears "whale vagina" somewhere near the beginning of that song. Don't know what the actual lyrics are. ** That's "I sailed away to China." * "{{Snakes on a Plane}}" a few times while listening to {{Music/Muse}}'s ''Micro Cuts''. Matt Bellamy's diction in this song is... not perfect. The actual lyrics are "Souls weeping above" and "fork on a plate", depending which of the two bits I misheard you look at... * Similarly slushy diction led to this troper believing the title line from {{Music/Muse}}'s ''Supermassive Black Hole'' was "sympathetic vagabond" the first, second and third times it was heard on the radio. It seems to make as much sense as the actual lyrics. ** This troper's roommate thought it was "supermarket vagabond" for quite a while. ** This troper heard "supermagic vagabond." ** This troper didn't have that particular problem, but did hear another line as "spaceships melting in the dead of night". I still maintain that that fits the theme better, and it's not like it makes any less sense than a random reference to glaciers.

* Not exactly misheard, but when she was little this troper thought "Say" was a person's name ("Oh, Say can you see ...", ''The StarSpangled Banner''). * For the longest time, this troper thought it was "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, a V.I.C." As in, a very important country. ** When [[{{Nyperold}} this troper]] was in early elementary school, he always heard "of the icing", which would explain what makes the land so sweet... ** [[{{Tropers/VijiiS}} This troper]] thought it was "of thee I see". I also thought the song said was "land that the pilgrims pried," as in the verb to pry, as opposed to "land of the pilgrims' pride". And I thought the ending was "let Freeta lead." I didn't know who Freeta was. * This troper managed to get almost every single word (literally) in Massive Attack's song ''Teardrop'' utterly and completely wrong when she heard it and listened to it for the better part of a year before finally looking up the lyrics. She prefers her version significantly, though. ** That's okay, everyone does. Particularly because the song doesn't make a terrible amount of sense even with the correct lyrics. Also by Massive Attack (albeit much later), this troper mistook "I will pilfer my family a bulletproof love" from Heligoland's Flat Of The Blade as "I will build for my family a bulletproof moon." Also similar to the above, neither makes a lot of sense but I still prefer my version. It's more poetic. * As for Madonnas song ''4 Minutes (To Save the World)'' featuring Justin Timberlake and Timbaland, one line contains "If you feel it, it must be real, just--". This troper, however, always heard "If you feel it, it must be ''[[{{Ninja}} ninjas]]''." This troper saw no ninjas in the actual music video, but you shouldnt be able to see ninjas anyway. [[HighlyVisibleNinja Or maybe not]]. ** This troper always heard 'We've only got four minutes to save the world' as 'We've only got four minutes to say the word', and continued to sing it like that until her friends corrected her. Also, I always heard the 'Ninja' bit as 'And if you feel it, it must be raindrops.' No idea why. ** I hear "If you thought it, it better be what you want" as "If you farted, it better be what you want." * "I tried to give you up, but I'm a dick, Tedd" -- from ''Time Is Running Out'', by {{Music/Muse}}. For a long time, I imagined Matt Bellamy singing to Tedd from ElGoonishShive. Turns out the real line is "I'm addicted". ** Similarly, {{U2}}'s TearJerker ''Wake Up Dead Man'' will always be "wake up Tedd, man" for [[{{Nausicaa}} this troper]]. * This troper mishead the line "So charismatic / With an automatic" from the spoof spy anthem ''A Man For All Seasons'' as "So charismatic! / Women? Automatic!" She likes her version better, since it seems to fit the over-the-top MartyStu spy image the song generates--like he's so awesome, the girls just ''appear'' around him. * "Hang on Sloopy/Sloopy hang on" (''Hang on, Sloopy'' by The [=McCoys=]); when this troper was a kid, she actually saw the title

and assumed it was a typo. It makes sense if you think about it: everyone knows who [[{{Peanuts}} Snoopy]] is. Who the hell is Sloopy? * "When the priest comes to read me the last rites." in Iron Maidens ''Hallowed be thy name'' always sounds like "When the priest comes to rape me the last time." to [[{{Mavado}} This Troper]] ** On the topic of IronMaiden, I've always heard the line "I see the ghosts of navigators" as "I see the ghosts of alligators" in their song ''Ghost of the Navigator'' ** Moonchild by IronMaiden- "Babylon, the Skeletor" as opposed to "Babylon, the scarlet whore" * This troper was once convinced Metallica's ''One'' had the line "For my breakfast I wish for tea!" (instead of "Hold my breath as I wish for death"). It's very incongruous with the rest of the lyrics, but ''does'' rhyme with the following line, "Oh please god wake me". ** My friend thought the lyric "Blackened is the end" in Blackened was "Fuck it in the ass." * {{Nightwish}}: ** ''Planet Hell,'' while having some of the most epic music ever, is essentially one giant Mondegreen, largely thanks to the thick Finnish accents of some of the members. The first line is often heard as "Deny it, go try it," or "Deny it, Goliath," but the actual line is "Denying the lying." And when Tarja sings, I had so much trouble understanding her that I just assumed those lyrics were in Finnish. *** This troper heard it as "Denying the lion". ** Wishmaster. For example, in the line "Your world shall rest on Earth no more," this troper hears "rest on Earth" as "crystal meth." *** [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gg5_mlQOsUQ Hamster! The dentist! Hard porn! Steven Seagull!]] *** Of course for ''0{{Lost}}'' fans, there's always [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMQXc7rww0&feature=PlayList&p=ED560C23BB236554&index=4 this version]]... ** Amaranth."Carrots that wander, never fading/Rading your heart/The jesus snow-white zorro!/Carrots that wander/Hiding m&m's in a lamb..." *** "Cherish the one, the never fading/Reign in your heart/Does Jesus know my sorrow?" *** "Cherish the wonder, never fading rain in you heart/And Jesus' snow white sorrow" ** "Carrots that wonder, hiding m&ms, in a lamb, as they break." *** Real line: "Caress the one, the never-fading/Rain in your heart/Her tears of snow-white sorrow/Caress the one, the hiding amaranth..." ** Also in Amaranth: "The dowelling won my heart" and "We reach for the one's who're in {{emmerdale.}}" ** Romanticide. "Happy hunting, you [[strike:double-faced carnivore]] taco-faced carnie whore..." * ''Dragostea din Tei'': This troper has seen [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKuq3dJJJzE a video of Mondegreens of the song]] with a few lines talking about feta cheese, Picasso and Paris Hilton (who is just mentioned there as "a slutty date"). ** For the record, though, the song in its original Romanian really does talk about Picasso. ** This troper has a whole list of her own mondegreens to that song,

including "Raise the [[StarWars Death Star]]" and, for the title line, "[[InstantAwesomeJustAddDragons Dragons all can stay.]]" ** This troper: ''Raise a pledge now, numa numa yay!'' (brought up images of {{PBS}} and a computer memory architecture. Given he does not get PBS at where he lives, but he has heard that PBS would do some sort of plege request and ask for donation often), ''Dragon study day'' (brought up images of DragonTales) and ''Nah, Mint test, they all kick tie, yay!'' (brought up images of TalesOfPhantasia). * Pearl Jam's "The Fixer": Though he was pretty sure it couldn't be right, this troper kept hearing a line as "When something's bald, I wanna put a little salad on it", when it is in fact "when something's bored, I wanna put a little excited on it". Kind of understandable since the the second half of that line is kind of odd grammatically. * "Kurt O's my hero, leaving all the base" ("Kudos my hero, leaving all the best", ''My Hero'' - though in my defense, Hayley is slurring her words more than usual in this one...) * "And when the day had ended, With rainbow colors splendid" ("... blended", Grateful Dead, ''The Other One''). Even having seen the sheet music, this troper is not wholly convinced the word wasn't meant to be "splendid". * "... I wanna have groupies" (''When I Grow Up'', by Pussycat Dolls); clearly this troper has been playing ''The LegendOfZelda'' too much; he misheard it as "rupees". ** I heard it as "I wanna have boobies." * I misheard the lines in the Pixies song ''Monkey Gone to Heaven'' as "If man is flawed/then the devil exists/ and if the devil exists/then God's in heaven." The lines are actually "If man is five/then the devil is six/and if the devil is six/then god is seven." I still like my version better. According to a guy who knows a guy who knows Black Francis, the similarities are actually deliberate, making it unclear if this is truly a mondegreen. * Misheard lyric by many, "The cantaloupe is mythical" instead of "That kind of love is mythical" in ''Simply Irresistible'' by Robert Palmer (Although admittedly this troper has yet to mishear an RP lyric because oddly enough he seemed to sing in an American accent). * This Troper always heard "I-I-I...just robbed an Easy-bake" in The Adventures of Pete & Pete Theme Song. * "A walk on part of The Wall" ("A walk-on part in the War") from PinkFloyd's ''Wish You Were Here''. This troper thought it was a reference to '''The Wall''' from the eponymous album for the longest time, not knowing that ''Wish You Were Here'' actually came ''before'' ''The Wall''. * [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2O8klO6a6XI&feature=channel_page This]] version of Pearl Jam's ''Alive'' has a scream that sounds like "Yeah! Yeah! [[strike:Niggers!]] [[NWordPrivileges AfricanAmericans]]!" near the beginning of the solo (which stars at around 3:32 in the video). This troper doesn't not currently have enough Microsoft Points to buy the song, so he has no idea what "[[strike:Niggers]] [[NWordPrivileges African-Americans]]" is actually supposed to be. * This troper for a long time misheard "gunpowder, gelatine" as "got mind-activity" (Queen, ''Killer Queen'')

* This troper's mom and aunt always sang "Another one rides the bus" in place of Queen's "Another one bites the dust". Of course, in place of "hey, I'm gonna get you too", they had to use "hey, I'm gonna sit by you". ** A genuine song by WeirdAlYankovic, oddly enough. Perhaps based on a {{Mondegreen}} in the first place? * This French-speaking troper believed in his teenage years that ''America'' was a song performed by Queen. Or was it ''The Miracle'' ? * When first seeing ''BuffyTheVampireSlayer'' musical episode, I misheard Spike's lyric: "Let me take my love and bury it in a hole 6 foot deep" as ""Let me take my love and bury it in a ''whore'' 6 foot deep", which was a bit of a "Wait, wtf, [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar that didn't get censored?"]] moment. ** It happened again with: "Buffy's laughing, I've no doubt." Which turned into: "Buffy's life and I'm locked out," but that's... relatively benign. ** That episode gave a few; "You find this fight just doesn't mean a thing" turned into "Your ''finest fight'' just doesn't mean a thing..." * This troper heard "Living on [[ThatsNoMoon a fish island]]" instead of "Living in a fish-eye lens" in Rush's ''Limelight''. * REM's ''It's the End of the World As We Know It.'' It's damn hard to know for sure what some of the actual lyrics are. "The other night I dreamt of knives, continental drift divide..." or "tripped at Knox, continental drift divide..." or "tripped a ''nice'' continental drift divide"? ** ''Losing My Religion'': this troper could have sworn Stipe was singing, "Let's pee in the corner..." * TheRollingStones: "Culled prostration down and bought a beer, sold in a market down in New Orleans." ("Gold Coast slaveship bound for cotton fields/Sold in the market down in New Orleans.") In my defense, the ability to correctly understand this lyric was used as evidence of [[TheWire Pryzbylewski's]] savant-level pattern recognition skills. * My favourite Radiohead one is "We don't want balloonists taking over" from ''Go To Sleep''. (rather than "We don't want the loonies taking over": the imagery is so much better!) * For years this troper thought {{Rick Astley}}'s ''Never Gonna Give you Up'' was all about a heel warning a girl infatuated with him about all the rotten things he'll do to her if she becomes his girlfriend: "I'm-a gonna give you up/And I'm-a gonna let you down/And I'm-a gonna run around and desert you/I'm-a gonna make you cry/And I'm-a gonna say goodbye/And I'm-a gonna tell a lie and hurt you." ** This troper was sure he was the only one! (sniff) * Sweeney Todd, ''Pretty Women'', first line- "Pretty Women/Masturbating" for "Pretty Women/Fascinating". I challenge anyone to hear the original after reading that. Particularly bad because this Troper ended up getting roped into doing a sing-along rendition for his 6-year-old niece. Yeah, I got into trouble for that... ** Well, [[ParanoiaFuel he does watch]] [[HikaruGenjiPlot his ward]] [[{{Squick}} in her room]]. This is not the only person to have misheard other lyrics in the same song as "the blood to pound the hardly/[[ALoveToDismember heartly]] pyre" rather than "the blood to

pound, the heart leap higher". And for some reason, "demons'll charm you with a smile" from ''Not While I'm Around'' as "women will charm you". Vtf? ** So wait, you got in trouble for your mondegreen but not for singing SweeneyTodd songs to a six year old in the first place. This Troper is amused. * This troper first heard a line of ''Suddenly I See'' by KT Tunstall as "Suddenly I see; / Why did Heaven mean so much to me?" She was stunned to learn that the real lyrics are "Suddenly I see / why the hell it means so much to me." Even knowing the real lyrics, she thinks they sound like her first interpretation...and likes her version better. * The song ''Summer Fly''. I heard the line "A summer fly was buzzin' every night when I was young" as "Summer flowers blossomed every night when I was young", which is practically Zen. ** Maybe he just had FertileFeet. * The Stranglers' ''Golden Brown'' had the lyric, "Golden brown, texture like sun/Lays me down, in my mind she runs" -- this troper (and, according to Google, he's not alone) misheard it as "Lays me down in my manchierons". * "My mother and my fathers used to leave me alone, dreaming I'm adopted" ("My mother and my brothers used to breathe in clean air, and dreaming I'm a doctor" from Tears For Fears' ''Head Over Heels''). Sometimes mondegreens can tell you a lot more about the person who thinks them up than you really want to know. * The Tears For Fears song ''Everybody Wants To Rule The World'' heard as "Everybody Wants To Move Along". It didn't help that this troper's father jokingly called it "Everybody Wants To Mow The Lawn". ** This troper's boyfriend thought it was "Everybody wants to move away." Not being terribly fond of our city, it seemed an apt misunderstanding. * In WeirdAl's ''Smells Like Nirvana'' (parody of Nirvana's ''Smells Like Teen Spirit'') the line "Boy, this oughta bug your parents!" is easily misheard as "Fuck your parents!" instead. Whether this is meant as an insult or as an instruction is still unknown. ** This troper heard it as "bugger parrots". ** This troper heard "We're Nirvana; bug your parents." ** Anyone who heard "Fuck your parents!" and thought it was the actual lyric obviously doesn't know that Weird Al is a completely clean artist, although This Troper thinks he CrossedTheLineTwice with ''Jerry Springer'' (I mean, come on, "the hermaphrodite, the slut, and the crack ho?"). And he's also sure he heard Weird Al say "You cheap bastard" at the end of ''Don't Download This Song''. * "Youve got your big G's/Ive got my hash pipe" (''Hash Pipe'' by Weezer); [[ManWithoutABody This guy]] heard it as "[[{{Eraserhead}} You've got your good things...]]" * This troper always heard the title lyrics of the song ''Signed, Sealed, Delivered'' by Stevie Wonder as "Signs Say I'm Livin'". It makes sense either way. * Back in the N64 days, basically anyone who played the game ''Yoshi's Story'' had their own theory about just what the Yoshi's sang in the end-of-level song, or if they sang anything at all besides just "eee-

aah-oh". This troper remembers interpretations ranging from "next level", which makes sense, to "the airport", which does not. ** The end-of-level gibberish at the end of ''[[YoshisIsland Yoshi's Story]]'' may well be the musical equivalent of an ink blot test. Things people have heard: "The stair's full," "Be careful," and, this troper's personal favorite: "Neanderthal." *** [[YoutubePoop No way, dinobreath.]] ** This troper always heard "Be thankful" for the end of level song and "Oh, lack of apples" for the opening. ** [[SchizoTechnician This one]] was a literal guy, so he simply heard "ee-eh-ah" for the end of level song, as if they were retelling the story of the level in baby-talk: fear, apathy as they got used to it, then relief when it was over. ** This troper keeps hearing the Yoshis say "Nintendo". ** The Newgrounds video Nin10Doh! parodies this with the Yoshi's singing "the *** hole." *** And this troper always thought they actually ''were'' saying "the asshole." ** This troper coined the word "wheatevvo" (which really doesn't mean anything that "whatever" doesn't cover) because of those damned baby Yoshis. *** I think I saw your letter to Nintendo Power... ***** I'm pretty sure it's just "The End" in a really thick Japanese accent; "Ji Endo." It would probably be much easier to understand if it wasn't so ''damn high-pitched.'' ** I first got "The ehhhhh-oooooh!" and then "nin teeeeen dooooo!" * "Fuck her for a pack of cigarettes" instead of "Vodka and a pack of cigarettes" from Joss Stone's ''You Had Me.'' They both work as examples of why Joss is breaking up with her boyfriend in the song, this troper was just surprised that radio stations and MTV and VH-1 were letting her get away with swearing on the air. * This Troper always mishears the first line of ''Owner of a Lonely Heart'' by {{Yes}}. The actual line is "move yourself", but IHeardThatAs "movies help". To be fair, "movies help you live your life never thinking of the future" makes sense. * [[KiTA This Troper]] is reminded of an official(?) music video of some band, which he has since lost, which was nothing but on Mondegreen of the band's lyrics after another. Key points were Mr. Miyagi from the Karate Kid, Sumo Wrestling, and a specific type of soy sauce. * Not a song, but a few years of this (Catholic) troper's were spent in strong belief that God was called Peter. The reason? The response from the congregation at the end of the Gospel reading ("Thanks be to God") sounds, when said slightly out of sync by about a hundred people, ''exactly'' like "Thanks Peter God." ** Conversely, no few people were convinced when they were young that God's name was Harold, thanks to the Lord's Prayer: "Our Father, who art in Heaven, Harold be thy name..." *** Or "Hollow Ed" as [[PluckyComicRelief Morph]] from the ''[[MarvelUniverse Exiles]]'' puts it. *** Well, there are "Harold Angels," after all . . . . *** Well we do call His son Jesus ''H.'' Christ.

** One that comes up in a lot of hymns is "grapefruit" for "great fruit." "I am the vine and you are now the branches/If you believe in me, I will bear grapefruit." ** Then there's the classic mishearing of the lines spoken at a funeral: "In the name of the Father, and of the Son, into the hole he goes..." ** This troper's uncle as a child sang the phrase "Lead on, oh king eternal" as "lead on oh kinky turtle." ** There's a song that ends, "With every grace endued." I heard the line for years before I could read as "With every Grayson dude," and for some reason associated it with an old guy on a motorcyle. Several years later my little sister, having heard songs on the radio by Josh Gracin, thought that the lyric referred to him- the "Gracin dude." * "Jump, Jive, and Wail" became "Drunk drive everywhere" to more than one of this troper's friends. ** To this troper, it was "Drunk drivin', drive the whale." *** To this one "Drunk drive, then you hit a rail." * The tv series of the manga X. Sad light? Star light? And those are the easy ones. * This troper once saw a rare (and ''failed'') attempt at coming up with Mondegreens where none existed. On one bulletin board in his dorm, there was a list of the real and "misheard" lyrics of several songs...except all the lines listed were either A. crystal clear when sung, or B. ''the titles of the songs''. ** Hey, not everyone knows the title of every song they hear. [[{{Tropers/VijiiS}} This troper]] thought Duran Duran's ''Hungry Like the Wolf'' was saying "hungry like the moon" until she found out the title. Plus, clarity of enunciation can be very subjective. I've always thought Nirvana's ''Smells Like Teen Spirit'' was crystal clear, even hearing "mulatto," despite not knowing what a mulatto was at the time, or even that it was a word. * It's still really hard not to sing the chorus to the hymn ''Blessed be God'' as "Dissepy God", even though that's not a real word. If this troper's concentration slips ''even for a moment'' that's what comes out. * The first line of Black Sabbath's "Iron Man ("Has he lost his mind?") as interpreted by my father: "Ozzy's lost his mind." Which could either count as HilariousInHindsight or FunnyAneurysmMoment, depending on your view of things. * One line of the AquaTeenHungerForce theme song goes "Ice on my fingers and my toes, and I'm a Taurus". This Troper has always heard it as "Ice on my fingers, and my toes, and on my toys." ** I could barely understand any of the words to the song until they got the old guy to sing it in spoken-word verse. * [[PhineasandFerb Phineas and Ferb]]: The song ''Backyard Beach''. This troper had to do a double take when first hearing the song, thinking there's no way Disney would ever allow that word to air. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5f2umemw-Y&feature=related Just listen.]] Turned out it was just the accent. * "Becky" by Piles. This troper was hearing "Becky" as "bacon" every time it's said in the song (which is ''a lot'' of times). Which also lead to "I love bacon like my Jews" instead of "I love Becky like my

jewels". * This troper doesn't know how many times she misheard the first lyric in the KatamariDamacy OP theme ''Katamari on the Rocks'' as "Don't worry, do your best" rather than the correct, and seemingly much more obvious, "Katamari, do your best". ** I'm pretty sure the line is actually "Don't worry, do your best". At least that seems to get loads more results on Google than the other interpretation. * Inverted with "Ask A Silly Question" by folk metal band Elvenking. I heard the line "Let's play 'Pass the Pigs' / So come on, throw your pigs at me..." My boyfriend and I were completely baffled and were sure that we were hearing something wrong. Then we looked up the lyrics and sure enough, those were the words. ** Pass the Pigs is a game where you have two plastic pigs with a dot on one side. You roll them like dice and get points based on how they land. No idea if that's the reference, but the game exists. * This Troper always thought Nickleback's song "If Today Was Your Last Day" had the line "evil bitches in the past" turns out its actually "leave old pictures in the past". ** I'm glad I'm not the only one who misheard that. But I thought it was "Leave all bitches in the past." * In Paloma Faith's song ''Stone Cold Sober'', this troper heard "I'm in a whole other dimension/Dancing doubles on the floor" as "I'm in a whole other dimension/That's endeavored from the floor". I don't understand either of them. * "Viva La Vida" by Coldplay got ''very'' not sensical in this troper's mind - I still have no idea what a "gelris" is. --->Hear gelris and a bells are ringing --->Roman Catholic choirs are singing --->Female mirror my soul she'll --->Permission ain't easy to farm field. ** This troper thought it was "I hear terrorists and the bells are ringing"-- he knew this was absolutely not right, but even now, still cannot hear "Jerusalem" in that line. * When listening to "Let Me Be With You", the opening song to ''{{Chobits}}'', this troper always hears "Dakishimetaino" as "I kiss you my darling". Not helped by the fact that the opening animation synchronizes that line with Chii leaning in towards Hideki. * Two of the Oompa Loompas' songs from the first movie based off of CharlieAndTheChocolateFactory confused me until I saw the lyrics. I thought "If you're not greedy, you will go far" from Augustus's song was "If you're not BREATHING, you will go far" which I thought was a reference to him being drowned in the chocolate river. Also, I thought "pampered and spoiled like a Siamese cat" from Veruca's song was "and purrs and squawks like a Siamese cat." * Several years after first hearing the song ''Fire'' by Scooter, This Troper and her friends still cannot agree on what the lyrics are, especially the whole "chili bowl/'till you blow" thing and the garbled mess that comes after "back to the family/a radical emergency." ** It's "Back to the family, a guaranteed emergency, the radical MC H.P.'s got the melody". * The song Underdog World Strike by Gogol Bordello starts with "I am a

foreigner and I'm walking through your streets/But before I want to I see the same deeds." I don't know if it's his accent or what, but until I got out the liner notes and read the lyrics I thought he was saying "But before I want to I see the same tits." * Jefferson Starship built this city on rock and roll, not (as this troper once thought) on broken bones. * This troper knows more than a few people, his wife included, who heard "cinnamon shoes" in Vanessa Carlton's Fools Like Me, instead of "sand in my shoes." * This troper is surely not the only one to mishear "flowers in mahogany hair" from the song ''Wander'' by Kamelot. (For me, as "flowers in my Holly's hair". Or something unintelligible.) * This troper misheard "the perfect sky is torn" in Natalie Imbruglia's ''Torn'' as "the perfect guy is tall". His sister heard it the same way. ** That song tortured me because I heard everything right apart from "torn", which I misheard as "tall" every time I heard it. I kept thinking "What the hell is she saying? The perfect sky is tall? What's that mean?" It took a long time before I finally found out the title of the song, and then it clicked. * Jethro Tull's "Budapest" has a line "In fact, she wasn't there at all", which this troper always hears as "In fact, she wasn't very tall". * This troper has twice done this with songs as a result of hearing them repeatedly on the radio but never hearing the title. ** "I Wish I Was a Punk Rocker (With Flowers in my Hair)," which I heard as "I wish I was a pompom girl," (cheerleader), which seemed to make more sense than mixing punks and hippies. ** The Alex LLoyd song "The Wonder.' I heard it as "Rwanda" up until I actually tried to look it up. * "Isn't it ironic, don't you think? ...it's like [[MonstersVSAliens radiation on your wedding day]]!" * Not mine, but someone else mentioned having a mondegreen that referenced a trope name in Cream's "Sunshine Of Your Love": -->I'll soon be with you, my love -->To give you my DullSurprise ** The correct lyric is "''dawn'' surprise", by the way. ** ...You mean that's NOT the lyric? I heard it, too. * In a recent conversation, this troper was glad to learn that she's not the only one who used to think the crew of the [[TheBeatles Yellow Submarine]] were living a life of ''beans.'' (They actually "live a life of ''ease.''") * Daughtry's "No Surprise": "I'm [[{{Comicbook/Batman}} practicing my riddles]], shouldn't have to give a reason why." * When the Beach Boys' ''Do It Again'' was in the charts (I was 12, my brother was about 14), I could clearly hear (even through the muddy sound of AM radio) that the lyric was "all the places we surfed and danced", but my brother insisted it was "searched", and when I tried to correct him, he said "people don't dance on the beach!". (And never mind the fact that ''searching'' some place is a strange choice of leisure activity, or that "surfed" is more consistent with the Beach Boys' style.) Even back then, I realised that his argument was

nonsensical on at least three grounds: ## How was he so sure what people do, or don't do, in the USA? He'd never been there. ## Several songs ''explicitly'' mention dancing on the beach -including one by Britain's very own Cliff Richard; that one is even ''called'' "On the Beach". ## Why should "all the places we surfed and danced" be referring to only '''''one''''' set of places? It could be lumping together a set of beaches ''and'' a set of clubs; that may not be the best of grammar, but then we're talking about the genre which had already given us "I can't get no satisfaction". ** I've since realised that if you want to argue realism, I've never heard of anyone in real life dancing in the street either, but that didn't stop Martha Reeves and the Vandellas singing about it. * [[Tropers/ZiggyStardustForever This troper]] once heard someone say that he thought Blue Oyster Cult's, "Don't Fear The Reaper", was called, "Don't Pee In The River". * "There is arroz (rice) in Spanish Harlem". Well, there is, but the actual line is "There is ''a rose'' in Spanish Harlem". ** In Philip Norman's unauthorised (and of [[DanBrowned highly suspect accuracy]]) [[TheBeatles Beatles]] biography ''Shout!'', Germanspeaking bands in Hamburg clubs are said to have rendered that one as "I Picked My Nose In Spanish Harlem". * When I first heard Cat Stevens' ''Peace Train'', to me it sounded like "dreaming about ''The World At One''" (BBC Radio 4's lunchtime news-magazine programme). Of course, the lyric is actually "dreaming about the world '''as''' one". * This troper still hears "And I'm constipated" in Metallica's "No Leaf Clover" when he says "And it comes to be". ** That's similar to "My Love Don't Cost A Thing" (by J. Lo?) being misheard as "My love don't constipate". I for one reckon the mondegreen sounds better. :-) * This troper's favourite mondegreen has to be from the first few times she listened to JesusChristSuperstar, and thought the disciples were singing "always hoped that I'd be an opossum". Knowing what it was supposed to be didn't change anything... * [=~0dd1~=]: When I was younger, so much younger than today, I would always mishear the chorus of Wild Cherry's "Play That Funky Music" as "Play that fu** ing music, white boy!"...I guess the audience is just extremely irate at the band! ** And now I just misheard the line "I'll try to carry on" as "I'll try the [[ImAHumanitarian carrion]]" in the Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons song "Opus 17 (Don't You Worry 'Bout Me)". ** Also, in Real [=McCoy=]'s"Run Away", I used to hear the line "Money, sex, and full control" as "Booty sex and all control." XD And you know what? I still hear it!! * "It Was a Good Day" is my favorite IceCube song, but I first heard the song's opening as "Just wakin' up in the mornin, got a pink eye". I wasn't too surprised to learn that the lyrics were really "Just wakin' up in the mornin, gotta thank God", as I didn't really see why Ice Cube would list Conjunctivitis as one of the good things that happened to him.

* This troper misheard (and keeps mishearing) the lyrics from Press Conference off the ''{{Chess}} In Concert'' album as "how come your second's a [[DudeLooksLikeALady girl of a boy?]]" Which makes things a little weird. * [[{{X2X}} I]] remember my family misunderstanding my yells of "Do something!" (we were approaching a red light; I was about ''five'', by the way) as "Deuces!". On a video game-related note, ''ViewtifulJoe''. When I first played the game (I was about 12), I didn't know about {{Toku}} and {{Henshin Hero}}es, so I completely butchered Joe's [[ByThePowerOfGreyskull call]] of "Henshin a go-go, baby!" The end result? "Atsakunoko, baby!" Both moments have been moments of [[NeverLiveItDown great mocking and frustration]]. * [[{{Varasek}} This troper]] misheard the line "Born bad, like a synchro-mesh shift" in the song ''Born Bad'' by The Gone Jackals as "Born bad, like I'm sick of this shit". Somehow I like my version better. * When this troper was a wee lassie listening to Radio Disney, she was always shocked when she heard All Star by Smash Mouth, because such vulgarity should not be played on a radio station for kids! Years later I realized that they were saying "with her finger and her thumb in the shape of an L on her forehead", not "and the shit coming out of her forehead"... * I heard the line "The Asian man with his love hate affair with his racist clientele" in Belle and Sebastian's The Boy with the Arab Strap as "The Asian man with his love-hate affair with this racist guy in town." ** and I heard the "love-hate affair" line as "long head of hair." ** In a RealLife ''subversion'', I actually used to think Aerosmith's "Dude (Looks Like a Lady)" titular lyric was a Mondegreen, and tried to hear it as "Do it like a lady". It was made that much funnier when I realized the truth. ** I always heard it as "do the lucky lady". ** I though it was "Do the funky lady" as a kid *** "Doodle like a lady" here. **** And here this troper thought they were singing "do the macarena". ***** The first time I heard the song, I felt that it could also sound like "Dude, look at that lady". ** Inversion. * I've always heard Keane's Black Burning Heart's chorus as: If we could turn back/ You can pay for all of the crack as opposed to /You can paper over the crack. * This stupid commercial for 'London Choco Roll' playing on local tv repeatedly is sounding more and more like Chinese for 'man had plastic surgery'. * From TheWorldEndsWithYou soundtrack, "Long Dream", "Is it oranges, is it devils, whispering in my ear?" * So Hyde from L'Arc en Ciel starts off a new solo project, Vamps, with a song called "Love Addict," but his slippery grip on English causes him to stress the wrong syllable in the word "addict." Cue misheard lyrics from this troper: "I'm a love addict" suddenly became "I'mma love that dick." Some other egregious ones were: "Yay, hello, just feel mine!" ("Yeah! Just free your mind") and "Right on top that

goes" ("Ride on time, let go"). He can no longer unhear this. * Until [[ARandomSerf this troper]] actually read the lyrics over at the LargeHam article, he thought the line "oil and grime" from [[{{Ferngully}} Toxic Love]] was "boilin' grime." * From the song ''Innocent'' by Our Lady Peace, this troper always heard the refrain as "We are all elephants" in place of "We are all innocent", much to the amusement of my friends. I... I kind of prefer it as elephants. * Inversion, I think (I'm still not clear on which "-version" to use when) This troper went through a country-music phase as a teenager, and was listening to a Reba McIntire tape in her cassette player. I can't remember the name of the song, but it contained the line "Don't trust your soul to no backwoods southern lawyer." My little brother (then around maybe 10?) kept singing it as "Don't trust your soul to know that would settle a lawyer." We argued over it for several minutes. Either there were no liner notes or I did not have them with me (we were in another state visiting our grandparents) or I would have just shown them to him. ** That would be ''The Night that the Lights Went Out in Georgia'' * From The Libertines' "Don't Look Back Into The Sun", [[{{Nausicaa}} this troper]] and her father always heard the line ''you're looking rough and living strange'' as ''you're the king of the living strange''. * For this troper, listening to AFI while playing Tony Hawk at the same time has led to persistent Mondegreening of the line "Hey Miss Murder can I" into "Where is my labco-oat?" ... yyyeah. ** This troper first heard it as "Pain is my look, and I..." ** "Hey miss my love, can I?" This Troper also hears things like, "I am gay" instead of "I decay" in Death of Seasons... * [[{{Chanaluss}} This troper]] and his friends insist that Colossus in [[{{X-Men Legends}} X-Men Legends II]] says "Those are the feet of Apocalypse" when exiting the character select menu. * VideoGame/SuperMario64 features Mario's cruelly homophobic taunt as he defeats Bowser, screaming triumphantly "So long, gay Bowser!". Other people hear it differently, with there once being a feature in the British N64 Magazine dedicated to different interpretations of the line. ** I kept hearing it as "So long, kedalty!" and wondered what the hell he was actually saying. * For the longest time I thought the Crypt Fiend unit in WarCraft 3 said "Ye dreamed of life" when attacking, when it was in fact "Be drained of life". And yet the first one seems so much better, I keep hearing it. * As much as this tropes loves "You Are A Pirate", I've always thought that Robbie yelled "WANKER" after the first Stephine part. Turns out it's "Weigh Anchor!" * This troper used to think it was "She was a singer in a snow carol" instead of "I seen her in a smokey room" in Journey's Don't Stop Believing. ** I'm 99% sure it's "A singer in a smokey room". The Glee cover was pretty clear on that. * This troper thought the line in Freefallin' was "I wanna free fall,

out over Valhalla.", when it's really "Out over Mulholland." * Given how often I've seen it referenced, I know I'm not the only one who thought the chorus of "Human" by The Killers starts and ends with "Are we human, or are we dancer?" The real line is "Are we human, or are we denser?" - though given how many people still believe the mondegreen is the correct lyric, I'm going to assume the latter is the correct answer. ** Brandon Flowers has gone on record that it ''is'' "...or are we dancer". * This troper consistently misheard "Teenage Wasteland" as "Ten inch waist land" * [[KingSonnDeeDoo This Troper]] often misheard/mishears the line "I know this pretty rave girl" from "Pretty Rave Girl" by "I Am X-Ray", as either "I know this pretty rainbow" or "I know this pretty '''b'''rave girl". * From ZZ Top: "They come runnin' just as fast as they can, 'cause every girl's crazy 'bout a goddamn man!" I was a teenager before I realized the line, and name of the song, is "Sharp Dressed Man". Now, if only the line had been "every girl's crazy 'about a [[AllStarDCComics goddamn Batman]]"... ** I've always thought it was "Women go crazy for a chartreuse man". * For the longest time this troper thought that "Dare to be Stupid" was actually "Terrawatt Zombie", and that the line "come crawling faster" from "Master of Puppets" was actually "controlling bastard" * "[[CrowningMusicOfAwesome Run This Town]]" by Jay-Z. It took me quite a while before I realized that one of Rihanna's lines is actually "can't be scared when it goes down", and '''not''' "can't be starin' niggas down". * In The Postal Service's "Nothing Better", I can't help hearing the line about blocking the door "like a goalie tending the net" as "...like a ''Collie'' tending the net". Hey, [[AnimalAthleteLoophole there ain't no rule]] after all... * In the song "Canned Heat", I always thought he was saying that he has candy in his heels. ** Same here, only I thought it was candy in his ''hands''. * As a kid, this troper's little brother impressively [[{{Mondegreen}} Mondegreened]] the last bit of "America the Beautiful" into "America, America, God shed his skin on me / And crown thy good with RobinHood / from sea to shine on me!" * "Empire State of Mind" by Jay-Z and Alicia Keys managed to confuse [[{{MiraShio}} me]] for a time by making me think that "Concrete jungle where dreams are made of" was "I think I'll grow some green tomatoes". * This troper had to look up the lyrics to realize that what she heard as "When you look in the mirror/Say hi to your shoes" in "Absolutely (Story of a Girl) by Nine Days was really "When you look in the mirror/So how do you choose". * "Ba Kkwo" by Lee Jung Hyun (which you may know from ''DanceDanceRevolution'' if you've been playing for a long time): [[strike:"Ba kkwo! Ba kkwo! Ba kkwo!"]] "Fuck off! Fuck off! Fuck off!" * One of [[TupacShakur 2pac's]] early songs, "I Don't Give a Fuck". "I

get more respect from a motherfuckin' dumplin'!" (it's really "I get more respect from a motherfuckin' dope man!") * Does anyone else here "weep not for the mammaries" when Sarah McLachlan sings her song "I Will Remember You"? * Ween's "Roses Are Free": "Don't believe the forest when he tells you that the roses are free" (instead of "the ''florist''"). It ''is'' [[WordSaladLyrics weird enough lyrically]] that a talking forest (and a male one at that) doesn't stand out as being too odd. * A visual, rather than auditive, example in this very wiki: Up until 5 minutes ago ([[LudicrousPrecision Fev 28 2010, 15:25:17 UTC]]) I always read DidNotEatTheMousse as DidNotEatTheMouse. * "Gimme the Bebo and feed my soul/I wanna get lost in your rock'n'roll/on Christmas Day". * This troper always thought that "Another Brick in the Wall" by Pink Floyd went "We don't need no constipation..." It sure warps the meaning of "Leave us kids alone!" part entirely. * This Troper and his friend swear that "Now it's so true I can't go on without you by my side" is "Now it's so true I can't cum without you by my side" in ''Wires...and the Concept of Breathing'' by A Skylit Drive. * This troper originally heard the chorus to MidnightOil's ''White Skin, Black Heart'' as "What's in my car?" * This Troper remembers the choir organist once telling her of his childhood, and of a hymn they sang at school, "Highly Favoured Lady" (referring, of course, to Mama Mary). Which was known to the lads as, "Highly Flavoured Gravy". * A banner ad's recently appeared on TV Tropes for Raheem Devaughn, and every time the mouse cursor accidentally moves over it, it starts playing one of his songs. I always move the mouse away as fast as I can, so I've only heard one little bit of the song out of context. I can only assume he's not really singing "I'm a goddamn butterfly..." * It's kind of hard to take TheProdigy's "Breathe" seriously when you keep hearing Keith Flint shouting "Bake sale! Bake sale! Bake sale!" instead of "exhale!". * "Drove my Chevy ''through'' the levy" vs "drove my Chevy ''to'' the levy" ** There was also "thirty kids, thunder chief" vs "dirty deeds done dirt cheap" * This troper heard "When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year" from the Friends theme song as "when it hasn't been your day, we come up and breathe in your ear". * My brother (see ''Do It Again'' entry above) heard "Fire!" by The Crazy World of Arthur Brown as "I'll teach you to learn" and pointed out how nonsensical this lyric was. True, but the correct lyric ("I'll '''take''' you to learn") makes far more sense. * In AvatarTheLastAirbender's ''The Ember Island Players'', Aang calling himself "such an idiot!" Was definitely heard by [[WanderlustWarrior myself]] and my friends as "Fucking idiot!" * Snap's "Rhythm Is A Dancer" - I used to think it was "rhythm isn't dancing". It makes no sense in the context of the song, but in my defense, "dancing" ''sort of'' rhymes with "companion", while "dancer" doesn't remotely rhyme.

* When I heard "Every Heartbeat" by Amy Grant as a kid, I used to think the chorus was "Beverly Harvey, there's your name" (instead of "every heartbeat bears your name"). I'd always wondered who Beverly Harvey was, and why there was a song to remind her of her own name. * And finally Laura Branigan's "Gloria" - in the chorus I used to hear "I think they got the alias that you've been living under" as "I think they got the ''aliens'' that you've been living under". Since another line mentioned "voices in your head", as a kid I just assumed it was some paranoid woman convinced her upstairs neighbors were aliens or something. Looking it up, the whole paranoia thing ''actually sort of works'' with some of the other lyrics - maybe someone should pull a TheCoverChangesTheMeaning on that sometime. * There are several in video games. In {{Heretic}}, the Disciples of D'Sparil seem to alternate between "he's steppin' out, Yoshi" and "if there is, thou would, my arse" (it's actually backwards renditions of "destroy the Heretic" and one other which I can't remember), whilst D'Sparil himself seems to say "I've seen Mr. Davros". And does anyone know what the Heresiarch in {{Hexen}} actually says? I'm sure it can't actually be "up yours!"... * Ah, [[DissidiaFinalFantasy Dissidia]], you and your easily misheard lines. This troper understood "Death approaches!" (often/[[MemeticMutation popularly]] misheard as, "GET THE FRUIT!") easily enough, but misheard [[FinalFantasyV Bartz]]'s final line during his EX Burst as, "For a final world!" (Actually, "For a ''shining'' world!" It's kinda funny if you know FFV's story... kinda.) ** And [[I TroperOnAStickV2]] heard it as 'for a SILENT world.' And let's not forget Japanese Exdeath's infamous "TASTY ARROW!" * This troper does this often with songs in [[OminousLatinChanting strange, mystical-sounding languages]]. Anything sung in Latin will follow a predictable pattern of "words" whenever he tries to sing it. * Bob Dylan's "Ballad of a Thin Man": -->You walk into the room -->With your pants on your head -->You see somebody naked ** The second line should be, "With your pencil in your hand". * I misheard "voices carry" from Voices Carry as "cuz you're scary". It made the song sound really lame IMO, so I'm glad I know the real version now. ** I heard the lyric before that ("Keep it down now") as "We'll be found out." * The chorus of ''How To Save A Life'' by The Fray. This troper has heard many different interpretations, including one who insisted the song talked about knowing 'how to say a lie' despite the title. My own makes the song a little more optimistic. -->Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend -->Somewhere along in the bitter descent, -->And I would have stayed up with you all night, -->And I know how to save a life. * The Ramones, ''My Brain Is Hanging Upside Down (Bonzo Goes To Bitburg)''. I can't remember which is the correct title. The song was on the ''School Of Rock'' soundtrack and I swear at the end of the

chorus I could hear something about a bottle of sin. Apparently, the line is 'foreign policy'. No, I don't know how that works either. * I still hear the chorus in Panic at the Disco's "I Write Sins Not Tragedies" as, "a sense of poisoned rationality," not "poise and rationality." * Avenged Sevenfold's "Lost": "The end is knocking," or, "The end is not gay."? * This troper used to hear a line in U2's "Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" as "I would scale these ''silly'' walls". The real lyric is "these ''city'' walls." I actually like "silly walls" better, because it suggested that the speaker was so determined that the walls were futile. With "city walls," it's more dull. * A line in the lead-up to the refrain in Bullet For My Valentine's "Tears Don't Fall" sounded suspiciously like, "There's always someone f** king eggnog!" * In the Genesis song ''The Fountain of Salmacis'', my mother misheard the line 'hear me oh gods' as 'give me your 'nards'. Especially funny considering that Salmacis was pleading with the gods to fuse her with Hermaphroditus. * I misheard the Shania Twain song that goes 'kiss you so hard, I'll take your breath away' as 'kick you so hard, I'll take your breath away'. Either way, I find it kind of creepy. ** Unless there's a Shania song with the same lyrics (which is always a possibility in this sort of pop music), that's actually Possession by Sarah McLachlan, which - fun fact! - has lyrics culled from letters written to her by a stalker. That could account for the creepiness. * [[{{Seiryu}} This troper]] heard Eve6's song "Promise" on the radio, and heard "I promise not to try" as "Brothers of the rhyme." And consequently spent the next four years searching for that fucking song. ** Another one was Anberlin's "* Fin." What I heard was "Angels sing for the army of lost causes." The actual lyrics are "Patron Saint, are we all lost like you?" ** I also recently found out that in Jason Mraz's song "The Remedy", the lyrics are "Something on the surface it stings." I've always been hearing "Something on the surface it '''stinks'''." In my defence, it IS Jason Mraz. His MotorMouth causes all kinds of Mondegreens. * [[Tropers/TwilightLord I've]] managed to come up with a few due to my tendency to listen to bands with foreign singers. ** "Way up high, I touch the sky" ("High I fly, I touch the sky", ''I Walk to My Own Song'' by Stratovarius) ** "You can't kill my speed when I was born to be free" ("You can't kill my spirit, I was born to be free", same song) ** "I will ride my star in the air" ("I will write my story again", ''I'm Still Alive'' by Stratovarius. Playing {{Kirby}} games a lot at the time didn't help...) ** "Till the candle dies" ("Till the end of time", ''Alpha and Omega'' by Stratovarius) ** "Illumination I have to face" ("A new dimension I have to face", ''Wisdom of the Kings'' by RhapsodyOfFire) ** Non-foreign example: "That all you got!?" from the start of ''Leetstreet Fighter'' by LeetStreetBoys. (It's actually "Hadouken!!")

** "Silver things are not for us" ("Simple things are not for us", ''Killer Instinct'' by Machinae Supremacy) ** "My team like a lot of fun" ("Might seem like a lot of fun", ''Attack Music'' by Machinae Supremacy) ** "And I refuse to be a bird" ("And I refuse to be unheard", ''Throttle And Mask'' by Machinae Supremacy) ** "Gleaming of beauty" ("Pleading not guilty", ''False News Travel Fast'' by SonataArctica) ** "Leave, little black sheep, live with me" ("Live with the black sheep, live with me", ''Black Sheep'' by SonataArctica) ** "I'm king of the land of roses" ("I'm king of the land, I'm ruler of seas", ''Kingdom for a Heart'' by SonataArctica) ** "Pleasures and power don't mean a thing" ("Treasures and crowns wouldn't mean a thing", same song) ** "He promised to move out for Mary-Lou" ("He promised the moon, but won't marry you", ''Mary-Lou'' by SonataArctica) ** "It's my bed that she spent the night" ("It's Monday and she's got to grind", same song) ** "That is the pain of Mary-Lou" ("Life isn't grey, oh Mary-Lou", same song) ** "Mountains sit in a line" ("Mt. St. Edelite", ''It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)'' by R.E.M. Though considering the ambiguity of the official lyrics anyway...) ** "I'm noxic but I'm not well" ("I'm not sick, but I'm not well", ''Flagpole Sitta'' by Harvey Danger) ** "Like an echo of obscene fantasies" ("unseen fantasies", ''A Drop in the Ocean'' by Stratovarius) ** "Came in at ten to one" ("Came in eighteen to one", ''Fairytale of New York'' by The Pogues featuring Kirsty [=MacColl=]) *** This (different) troper heard a line of that song as "Clean up New York City, when the band finished playing, they held up the mall". Actual lyrics: "Queen of New York City, when the band finished playing they yelled out for more". ** "Real good basher on the 45" or "We're gonna bash her on the 45" ("Brimful of Asha on the 45", ''Brimful of Asha'' by Cornershop) ** "Playing Monopoly" ("Pain monopoly", ''Master of Puppets'' by Metallica) ** I have to keep reminding myself that the line from "Forsaken" by DreamTheater is "Out of an ''ivory'' mist", not "Out of a nightly mist". ** DragonForce's "Through the Fire and Flames" has also caused me no end of grief. I still have to concentrate to remember that it's "banished from a time in the fallen ''land''" rather than "fallen reign", "So now we're flyin', we're free" instead of "So now we fly, yeah, we're free" or "So now we fly ever free", "our destiny ''this'' time" instead of "our destiny, it's time" and "''All alone'' in desperation" instead of "Far and lonely desperation". ** From "Evening Star" by DragonForce, we have "This sordid gaze reminds me" (actually "starlit gaze") and "Asylums filled with laughter ("A silence filled with laughter"). * For the longest time I thought the Cherry Poppin Daddies were singing about some guy named "Zoot Suit Ryan"

* As a kid, this troper heard the Dixie Cups' ''Chapel of Love'' and wondered why they were "Goin' to the Jack-o-lantern/Gonna do magic." * [[{{Odd1}} I CANNOT]] be the only one who hears the line "She just loves you more than you will know" (specifically, the "She just loves" part) from SimonAndGarfunkel's "Mrs. Robinson" as "She's a slut." I still hear it even after listening closely and after looking up the lyrics. ** I've seen the variation "She's a slutty Mormon, you would know". *** What makes these even funnier is that the ''correct'' lyric is actually "'''Jesus''' loves you more than you will know" -- which after all fits the next stanza, "heaven holds a place for those who pray". * As a youngster, I would frequently see the music video for "Whole Again" by Atomic Kitten on Nickelodean. I always thought that the lyrics were: "Baby, you're the one. You can do no wrong.", until years later when I found out that it's actually: "Baby, you're the one. You still turn me on." ** There is actually a censored version that says "you can do no wrong". If you saw it on Nickelodeon, then that's probably the one you heard. * The song "Once More with Feeling" from the BuffyTheVampireSlayer TheMusical episode has the line "And there's not a one / who could say..." - for ''years'' this troper heard it as "In this 9-0-1..." It actually makes sense in context, as 901 is the first three digits in some southern California postal codes, right around where Sunnydale is supposed to be. * This troper was randomly given the song ''Still Hurting'' (from the play ''The Last Five Years'') and for the longest time she heard the line: "Jamie has new dreams he's building upon..." as "Jamie has new dreams: he's building a bomb" which adds a rather dark twist to the rest of the song. ** [[MythBusters Jamie want big boom]]? * While looking up ThePixies on the internet a long time ago, I found a fan page with lyrics, where the author was apparently under the impression that the chorus of "Caribou" was "Red pants! Red pants!" instead of "Repent! Repent!". You kind of have to be familiar with the song, but the idea of Frank Black shrieking about a pair of red pants is inherently hilarious. * My mother always used to hear "Pull back the rug so we" as "Pull back the rustleweed" in Suzy Bogguss ''Two-Step 'Round the Christmas Tree''. * "Don't mind me, I'm watching YouTube from the closet" ("...you two from the closet", ''Sugar, We're Goin' Down'' by FallOutBoy) * "Waka Laka is Interplay forever" ("a thing to play forever", "Waka Laka" by Jenny Rom vs. Zippers) ** ''Waka Laka is a magical Nintendo'' * "I wanna die, to feel so fine" ("I want the time to feel so fine", same song) * Tool, "Ticks & Leeches": "Fuck" instead of "suck". And it still kind of makes sense, though it completely changes the original meaning. * "FUCKING APPLE OF DOOM!" ("Fucking up all I do", Welcome Home by CoheedAndCambria)

* In ''Don't Stop Believing'' this troper always, ''always'' hears "street lights, people" as "Street lights, beach ball". * This troper always heard a line in the ''{{JONAS}}'' theme song as "So ''excited'' of routines", when the word is actually "tired". * In "Hair of the Dog" by Nazareth, what exactly are the words after "red-hot mama" and before "time's come to pay your dues"? I've seen various different suggestions: "velvet charmer", "down light charmer", "long-legged charmer", "oh that charmer", * I was stunned to learn that the chorus of the Ray Stevens song ''The Streak'' starts, "Oh, yes, they call him 'The Streak,' Boogityboogity." I would've stood up in front of a judge and sworn they were singing, "Look-at-that, look-at-that" -- which makes at least as much sense, in context, as the actual lyrics. * It took me surprisingly long to realize that the Barenaked Ladies song is "Be My Yoko Ono", not "Be My Oklahoma". * While I could understand most of Celine Dion's "It's All Coming Back to Me Now", I was always confused by the line after "There were nights of endless pleasure". It sounded like, "It was more than any lousey love", and I was like, "Huh?" It got worse when the line was repeated only now it sounded like, "It was more than all your lousey love". ("It was more than any/all your laws allow") ** This troper always hears that line as "it was more than any Lucy Liu." ** Also from Dion (and this same troper), the opening line of "All by Myself" always sounded like, "No I can't forget the semen" ("this evenin'"). ** This (different) troper thought for the longest time that the line "My heart will go on and on" was "My heart will go open the door." * This troper always heard David Bowie's 'Ziggy played guitar' as 'second place guitar'. * This troper misheard in Three Days Grace's "Break" "Tonight I felt up a vampire." instead of "At night, I feel like a vampire." * Today in a cafe, a song was playing in which the phrase "rat with spherical breath" occurred so often that it had to be the song's title. I looked at the CD cover, and it turned out to be "Raspberry Beret" by Prince. * I always heard the line, "Please I need ya" from Blur's Song 2 as "He's a ninja." Then again, I can't hear any other words in that song. * To this day, whenever I hear "Don't Pull Your Love" by Hamilton, Joe Frank, and Reynolds, instead of hearing "Would you make me beg you, pretty please?", I hear "Would you make me bacon, pretty please?" * [[Tropers/{{Theologica}} This Troper]] earlier this evening came across some old music she liked during her late teens/early twenties, when she was a member of a local anim club. It revived amused memories of how we all thought -- to the point of it becoming an injoke between those of us who met up frequently -- that one of the lines in from Naruto opening song 4, "GO!!!", sounded hella like, "you punch like a drunken rider". She also vaguely recalls another mondegreen associated with the same line: "your pants are a black binliner". ** All the subs I've seen put "drunken rider" as the translation for that line. Makes more sense than the second one, at least...

*** The real lyrics are apparently, "buppanase like a dangan liner", translating to "fire like a bullet liner". Makes slightly more sense, but not much. GratuitousEnglish doesn't help. * I was convinced for years that the lyric "I'm teetering on the brink of . . ." in Radiohead's "Backdrifts" was "I'm cheating on a breakup." I like the latter better. ** Wait, that's ''not'' the original lyric? I always kinda liked that line... * [[BlackLagoon Red Fraction]], oh dear lord in heaven, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Oj9L_bYv88&feature=related Red Fraction]]. "I hold the terms, look at me" (really "I'll put out your misery"), "I just wanna blam you" ("I just wanna feel you"), "It's all up to you, the one who's sober" ("no one lives forever"), and many more. ** This troper entirely agrees...even now I still think my version of the "I'll put out your misery" line fits better; "I coined the term 'misery'". Also, instead of "sick with justice" I always heard "sleep with justice". Of course, the whole song is GratuitousEnglish, so... * I used to hear the first line of the bridge to "[[{{Evanescence}} Whisper]]" as "Translation: I give in" until I went to lyrics websites. How I misheard "She beckons me, shall I give in?" as that, I shall never know. And also, some friends in elementary school tried to convince me that the lyrics to "Blue" were "I'm blue / If I was green I would die". The fact that you can hear it as either that or "Duh dabba dee dabba die" still bugs me. ** You're not the only one for either one. [[{{Tropers/VijiiS}} This troper]] heard the first herself, and for I'm Blue, I heard Da Ba Dee Da Ba Die until someone told me it was "I'm diseased I must die". Now that's all she can hear. ** * Snicker* Oh lordy. This was an joke the Andorian members of a Trek group in Second Life also had -- that these lyrics were indeed, "I'm blue, if I was green I would die". * This Swedish troper, due to NWordPrivilegies, doesn't dare posting what he misheard U2's Sunday Bloody Sunday as. Please get another Swedish troper to explain to you, this one is quite well known (Hint: includes small people and sand). * This troper always heard 'Peace is coming' in DJ Satomi's "With You" as "Pizza's coming". Also ironic is that I imagine [[InvaderZim GIR]] screaming that out whenever that particular line comes up. ** Also by DJ Satomi, his "Waves" song-don't get people started on that one. "The sun is gonna beacon under your waves" (Actually, "When the sand is going to be cold under your waves") "Until the winter, see some broom is this love" ("Will see blooming, this love") "I'm feeling old man winter cuz' you're here" ("I feel no more, the winter, cuz' you're here").... *** "Castles in the Sky", "Heart is nothing, a bird" (actually "or there's nothing out there", but I think my version makes a little more sense.) * When this troper first heard [[SuperMario Mario]] say "Let'sa go!", he thought he was saying "Mexico!" ** This troper and her dad also thought so, too. We have this in-joke where we follow it up with, "I thought he was Italian!".