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Mia mera, paei o Giorgos sto spiti toy filoy toy Kosta. Ktypaei to koydoyni kai toy
aneigei h gynaika toy. Geia soy Maria! O Kostas einai edw? Oxi exei paei kapoy
alla tha gyrisei se ligh wra? Kala tha ton perimenw. Kathontai loipon sto saloni.
Kapoia stigmh, leei o Giwrgos sth Maria: Goystarw poly tis byzares soy! Panta
hthela na tis dw. Tha soy dwsw 100 dollaria an moy deikseis to ena! Meta to prwto
shock h Maria to ksanaskeftetai kai apofasizei na toy to deiksei...100 dollaria einai
ayta! Afoy exei arxisei na ftiaxnetai o Giwrgos, ths lei: An moy deikseis kai to
allo, tha soy dwsw alla 100 dollaria! Xwris deyterh skepsh, h Maria toy petaei
eksw kai tis dyo kataplhktikes byzares ths! Afoy ta eide kai goystare o Giwrgos,
leei sth Maria: Ap' oti blepw, o Kwstas tha arghsei. Febgw twra kai tha
ksanaperasw! Ystera apo ligo, fthanei spiti o Kwstas. Toy leei h gynaika toy:
Perase prin apo ligo apo dw o Giwrgos! A! wraia!...Mhpws soy edwse ta 200
dollaria poy moy xrwstaei? !!!
=========================================
============================ One day at the end of
class TOTO's teacher has the class go home and think of a story and then conclude
the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to
tell their story, little Annoula raises her hand. "My dad owns a farm and every
Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at
the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the
basket and onto the road." The teacher asks for the moral of the story. Annoula
replies, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket." Next is little Lucy. "Well my dad
owns a farm too and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the
incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched." The teacher asks for the
moral of the story. Lucy replies "Don't count your chickens before they're
hatched." Last is TOTOs. "My 8eio Mitso fought in the Vietnam war; his plane
was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed with only a
case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On the way down he drank the case of
beer. Unfortunately, he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He
shot 70 with his machine gun, but ran out of bullets, so he pulled out his machete
and killed 20 more. The blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with
his bare hands" Teacher looks in shock at ToTo and asks if there is possibly any
moral to his story. Totos replies, "Don't fuck with 8eio Mitso when he's been
drinking."
=========================================
=============================== Pws legontai sta
tsiganika oi klanies ? Psithyroi Koilias
=========================================
=============================== _ti kanoun oi
pontioi otan den xortainoun upno? _trwne kai to ma3ilari.!!....
=========================================
=================================== katebainei
mia tupissa tis skales kai skeftetai" _ma pws mou to eipe,.... karkinos me
to3wth ..... oxi .......karkinos me krio .............oxi ...........karkinos me
udroxwo ......oxi .. 3ananebainei pali panw loipon,anoigei thn porta kai : _Ma pws
mou to eipes giatre ??? _ Karkinos tou Pneumona
=========================================
=================================== Htan treis
skyloi se ena anamorfwthrio skyliwn, sto opoio phgainan toys skyloys gia na toys

symorfwsoyn na toys peripoih8oyn alla akomh kai na toys skotosoyn me ey8anasia

stis pio akraies periptwseis. Oi treis skyloi syzhtagan meta3y toys opote leei o
prwtos: -Re paidia gia ti sas eferan edw? Apantaei o enas apo toys alloys dyo: -Me
peirazan ta paidia sto spiti synexeia opote den ante3a kai dagkwsa ena. -Kai se
eferan edw gia ey8anasia...?? - Nai 8a me skotosoyn !!! Opote kai apey8ynetai o
prwtos kai ston trito ths pareas: -Esena giati se eferan edw? -Mia gata sto spiti me
peiraze synexeia, den ante3a opote kapoia stigmh thn dagkwsa kai thn skwtwsa.
-Kai se eferan edw gia ey8anasia ... ?? -Nai 8a me skwtwsoyn kai mena !!! Opote
oi dyo rwtane ton prwto gia pio logo htan aytos ekei kai toys apantaei: -Mia mera h
afentikina moy bghke gymnh apo to mpanio. Se kapoia fash eskypse na mazepsei
kati apo katw. Opote egw phdh3a apo pisw ths, panw ths. -Kai se feran gia
ey8anasia ??? -Oxi, me eferan gia na moy kopsoyn ta nyxia !!!!!! Ti einai ena
podi sth mesh tou dromou? - Enas lepros pathse tsixla! Pws katalabainoume oti ena
gramma to esteile enas lepros? - Blepoume thn glwssa kolhmenh pisw apo to
grammatoshmo!
=========================================
=================================== > A young
man wished to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday, > and as they had
not been dating very long, after careful consideration, > he decided a pair of >
gloves would strike the right note.... Romantic, but not too personal. >
Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he went to Searsand > bought a
pair of white > gloves. The younger sister purchased a pair of panties for herself.
> > During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the >
gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. > > Without checking the contents he
sealed the package and mailed it to his > sweetheart along with this note: > > My
Dearest, > > I choose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of >
wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been foryour > sister, I
would have chosen the > long ones with buttons, but she wears short ones that are
easy to > remove. > > These are a delicate shade but the lady I bought them from
showed me the > pair she had been wearing for the last three weeks and they were
hardly > soiled. I had her > try yours on for me and she looked really smart. > >
I wish I was there to put them on you for the first time, as no doubt > other hands
will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see > you again. > >
When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them > away as
they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. > > Just think how many times I
will kiss them during the coming year. I > hope you will wear them for me on
Friday night. > > All My Love > > P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded
down with a little fur > showing. =======================
Htan ena paidi to opoio den htan kai polu eksypno. Tou edeixne o pateras tou ena
trapezi, tou elege ti einai ayto ?, to paidi apantage karekla. Tou edeixne ena peponi
tou elege "ti einai ayto, Giwrgakh (as poume) ?", o Giwrgakhs apantage Ananas.
To rwtage pws to lene, to paidi skeftotan, den iksere na apanthsei. Mia mera
kathontousan olh h oikogeneia mazi sto saloni kai blepan thleorash kai o Giwrgakhs
opws panta xazeye eksw apo to parathyro me aplanes blema. Ksafnika akougetai o
hxos enos aeroplanou kai o Giwrgakhs fanhke na antidraei. Olo sygkinhsh o pateras
ton rwtaei "ti einai ayto Giwrgakh? " kai o Giwrgakhs apantaei aeroplano. E
loipon, gyrnaei olo kamari o pateras sth mhtera kai ths leei: - Mporeis na mh to
spoudaseis ayto to paidi? Den mporeis !!
=========================================

============================ Giati opote blepoume ton

Hraklh se egkyklopaideies, se kinoumena sxedia, sthn thleorash, telos pantwn
pantou einai gymnos kai krataei ena ropalo ? .... Giati gamaei kai dernei.
=========================================
============================ = anekdotasta Egglezika:
A Chabad Rabbi was walking, slowly, out of a Schule in New york, when a gust of
wind blew his hat off and down the street. He was an old man, who walked with
the aid of a cane, and who wasn't able to fetch his hat. Across the street, a young
goy saw what was happening, rushed over and grabbed the hat. He then returned it
to the Rabbi. "I don't think I could have retrieved my hat by myself," said the
Rabbi, "Thank you very much!" He then placed his hand on the man's shoulder
and said, "May God bless you." The young man thought to himself, "I've been
blessed by the Rabbi, this must be my lucky day!" He then decided to go to the
Racetrack. In the first race he noted a horse named 'Stetson' at 20 to 1. He bet
$50.00, and sure enough, the horse came in first. In the second race, a horse
named 'Fedora' was at 30 to 1, so he bet all his money on that horse. Fedora came
in first as well. At the end of the day the goy returned home to his wife. She asked
him where he's been. He explained how he caught the Rabbi's hat, and how he was
blessed by him, and how he then went to the track and bet on horses which were
named after hats. "So where's the money?" she said. "I lost it all in the ninth race.
I bet on a horse named Chateau, and it lost." "You fool! Chateau is a house;
Chapeau is a hat." "It doesn't matter," he said, "The winner was some Japanese
horse named Yarmulke."
=========================================
============================ The Pope & The Seven
Dwarfs The Pope goes to visit the Seven Dwarfs. As he is finishing his speech on
comparative religions, Dopey raises his hand to ask a question. "Mr. Pope, are
there any dwarf nuns in Rome?". "No Dopey," responds the Pontiff, "there are
not". "Mr. Pope, are there any dwarf nuns anywhere in Italy?", Dopey questions.
"No Dopey," chuckles the Pope, "there are no dwarf nuns in Italy." "Mr. Pope,"
Dopey asks pleadingly, "are there any dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?" "No
Dopey," the Pope says sadly, "there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world ."
And softly in the background the six remaining dwarfs start chanting, "Dopey
screwed a penguin, Dopey screwed a penguin."
=========================================
============================ Basic Truisms
1.Dickson's Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are
removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the
ground easily, it is a valuable plant. 2.The easiest way to find something lost
around the house is to buy a replacement. 3.Sex is like air; it's not important unless
you aren't getting any.
=========================================
============================ A man forgot his
daughter's birthday and breathlessly runs into the nearest ToysRUs. "Can I help you
sir?" "Yes, it's my daughter's birthday and I have no idea what to buy for her"
"How about a Barbie doll, we have "Malibu Barbie"- $19.95, "Babysitter Barbie"
-$19.95, "Nurse Barbie"-$19.95, "Stewardess Barbie"-$19.95, and oh here's one,
"Divorced Barbie" she's $265.00" "$265?!?!? Why is divorced Barbie two
hundred and sixty five dollars?" "Because sir, Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's

House, Ken's car, all of Ken's money ...."

=========================================
============================ Adam had been living in
the Garden with all of his earthly needs provided for: no need for shelter or
clothing; any food or drink at his fingertips and no pain. But he felt a void in his
life so he spoke to the Lord and said "I am lonely." The Lord said," I have
provided for you in every way and left you free from want. Is that no enough?"
Adam replied, "No. I want another creature with whom I can share my life." So the
Lord told Adam that he would grant his wish and create Woman; and that this
woman would be a companion to him; to share his bed; to bring him sweet things
to eat and cool refreshment to drink; to laugh with him and to comfort him when he
was ill. "But," the Lord said, "there is a price you will have to pay." "What is
that?"asked Adam. "To make Woman, I will need to take your right arm, your right
leg and your right testicle." And Adam replied, "What can I get for a rib?"
=========================================
============================ A newlywed farmer and
his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of
the place. While they were walking through the barn, the farmer's mule suddenly
reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly. At the
funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the caske and greeted folks
as they walked by. The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper
something to the farmer, he would nod his head yes and say something. Whenever
a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, he would shake his head, no and
mumble a reply. Curious, the pastor later asked the farmer what that was all about.
The farmer replied, "The women would say, 'What a terrible tragedy' and I would
nod my head and say, 'Yes, it was.' The men would ask, 'You wanna sell that
mule?' and I would shake my head and say, 'Can't. It's all booked up for a year.'"
=========================================
============================ A tired traveler pulls into
a hotel around midnight. Very tired after a long day's trip he asks the clerk for a
single room. As the clerk fills out the paperwork, the man looks around and sees a
gorgeous blonde sitting in the lobby. He tells the clerk to wait while he disappears
into the lobby. After a minute he comes back, with the girl on his arm. "Fancy
meeting my 'wife' here," he says to the clerk. "Guess I'll need a double room for
the night." The next morning, he comes to settle his bill, and finds the amount to
be over $3000. "What's the meaning of this?" he yells at the clerk. "I've only been
here for one night!" "Yes," says the clerk, "but your 'wife' has been here for three
weeks!"
=========================================
=============================== An Englishman, an
Irishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar, drinking, and discussing how stupid
their wives were. The Englishman says, "I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last
week she went to the supermarket and bought $300 worth of meat because it was
on sale, and we don't even have a fridge to keep it in." The Scotsman agrees that
she sounds pretty thick, but says his wife is thicker. "Just last week, she went out
and spent $17,000 on a new car," he laments, "and she doesn't even know how to
drive!" The Irishman nods sagely, and agrees that these two woman sound like they
both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch. However, he
still thinks his wife is dumber. "Ah, it kills me everytime I think of it," he

chuckles. "my wife left to go on a trip to Greece. I watched her packing her bag,
and she must have put about 100 condoms in there and she doesn't even have a
penis!"
=========================================
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======================= Ti apantisan oi Amerikanides stin
erwtisi : tha kanate erwta me ton proedro Clinton?? To 91% apantise : "oxi pali".
=========================================
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=========================================
====================== O arithmos twn parthenwn kopelliwn
sta amerikanika kolegia diplasiasthke! An fysika xrhsimopoihsoyme ton orismo toy
Clinton peri Sex!
=========================================
========================= O Clinton telika thn epa8e ya ta
kala!! H Monica ua gennhsei Malboro Lights!
=========================================
========================== Paei loipon o nearos gyftos
ston patera tou gia na daneistei to braki tou, giati tha ebgaine prwth fora rantebou
me koritsi kai den eixe braki na foresei. Tou to dinei o pateras, to pairnei o nearos,
to koitazei apo dw, to koitazei apo kei, to koitazei apo parakei, kopiazei, sto telos
leei: -Re patera, pws forietai auto to pragma? -A re asxete. De blepeis? To kitrino
mprosta, to kafe pisw!
=========================================
=========================== 10
ill: - Bill do you love me ?
=========================================
========================= Treno tou '60, o nearos
mpakourhs sthn panw kouketa, perimenei enagwniws ton synepibath sthn katw
kouketa. H tyxh xamogela kai ena 0eiko plasma mpenei, epideiktika afairei ena ena
ola ta rouxa kai xaplwnei ataraxh katw apo ton filo mas. Anastatwmenos prospa0ei
o kahmenos na brei ena tropo epikoinwnias alla h kyria deixnei apro0ymh gia
syzhthseis. Se liga lepta ena sxoinaki glistra siga siga dipla ths, me ena xartaki sthn
akrh toy. Aporhmenh trabaei to xarti kai diabazei to mhnyma: " An 0elete na
kanoume erwta trabhxte mia fora to sxoini, alliws trabhxte 20 fores arga kai 10
grhgora" Kapoios kyrios sxetika neos, gyrw sta 30, dystyxws eixe problhma sthshs
(den yphrxe tote to Viagra...). Oi filoi toy loipon sthn agwnia toys na ton
boithisoyn metaksy allwn skeftikan to ekshs: Enas apo aytoys tha epididotan sthn
gnwsth praksh kai o allos me to problhma tha parakoloythoyse kryfa (koinws
mpanistiri) mpas kai empene se leitoyrgia to ellatwmatiko organo toy... Rragmatika
to skhniko stithike kai o boithos filos kataythanei me ploysiwn prosontwn erwmenh
sto dwmatio toy spitioy toy, opoy kai sth ntoylapa exei eidopoieithei kai krybetai
o ...asthenhs. H praksh ksekina kai ola phgainoyn kala, oxi mono to zeygari einai
se kefia kai exei epidothei se thermh periptiksh alla kai o asthenhs mas zei ena
mikro thayma afoy to organo toy ... antapokrinetai. Bebaiws o erasths poy
prospathei na didaksei tropon tina ton amathito filo toy to parakanei. Synexws
anebokatebazei loipon thn... entash toy erwtikoy paixnidioy pros megalh bebaia
efxaristhsh ths partener toy... Meiwnei kai ayksanei loipon thn entash ths prakshs

xwris omws na ftanei pote sto teliko shmeio ths... ekrhkshs. Omws o filos toy sth
ntoylapa poy exei epidwthei en tw metaksy sto manual play den antexei allo. Exei
kargarei, einai se shmeio orgasmoy. Opote mhn antexwntas allo petagetai apo thn
ntoylapa kai mprosta sthn ekplhksh toy filoy toy alla kai ston paniko ths kyrias
fwnazei hmigymnos: " AMAN re Niko, EINAI RYTHMOS AYTOS?????"
=========================================
========================== :-)
=========================================
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=============================== Wra ligo perasmeni
kai o filos mas katevenei patitos tin e8niki odo gia a8ina. 3afnika nasou enas batsos
pou tou vazei ta fwta na ton stamatisei alla o filos mas lei apo mesa tou siga min
mas piasei twra kai o batsos me tetia ama3ara pou exw. Opote pataei 150 -160 170 - 200 - 220 gia na 3efigei alla tipota, o batsos kala ekpedevmenos sinexeia ton
akolou8ouse mexri pou ton anagase na stamatisei. Stamataei loipon o filos mas

vgenei o batsos kai paei nevriasmenos pros to ama3i tou kai tou lei. Filarako eixa
mia poli asximi mera simera toso asximi pou kalitera na mou peis kamia kali
dikeologia an 8eleis na tin glitwseis. Skeftete loipon o filos mas kai tou apanta.
Koita na deis palikari prin treis evdomades i gineka mou to eskase me kapion
astinomiko kai me paratise, otan se eida loipon na trexeis etsi apo pisw mou nomiza
pws i8eles na mou tin epistrepseis
=========================================
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ap? ? ?a? te?e???e? se -???, pa??e? ste??? ?a? ?a??e? ?e????; - ? ?a??
t??fe??st???....(!!!)
=========================================
========================= TI KOINO EXEI H KYPROS
ME TO VIAGRA???? . . . THN ANWR8WSH
=========================================
=========================
=========================================
=========================
=========================================
========================= Some time ago Mr. Clinton was
hosting a state dinner when at the last minute his regular cook took ill and they had
to get a replacement at short notice. The fellow arrived and turned out to be a very
grubby looking man named Jon. The President voiced his concerns to his chief of
staff but was told that this was the best they could do at such short notice. Just
before the meal, the President noticed the cook sticking his fingers in the soup to
taste it and again he complained to the chief of staff about the cook, but he was
told that this man was supposed to be a very good chef. The meal went okay but
the President was sure that the soup tasted a little off, and by the time dessert came,
he was starting to have stomach cramps and nausea. It was getting worse and worse
till finally he had to excuse himself from the state dinner to look for the bathroom.
Passing through the kitchen, he caught sight of the cook, Jon, scratching his rear
end and this made him feel even worse. By now he was desperately ill with violent
cramps and was so disorientated that he couldn't remember which door led to the
bathroom. He was on the verge of passing out from the pain when he finally found
a door that opened and as he undid his trousers and ran in, he realised to his horror
that he had stumbled into Monica Lewinsky's office with his trousers around his
knees. As he was just about to pass out, she bent over him and heard her president
whisper in a barely audible voice, "sack my cook". And that is how the whole
misunderstanding occurred. =========================================
========================== POS LEGETE O KOUREAS
STA SERVIKA ? MALIKOVITS
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========================== 1 E: PWS PEUAINOYN TA
EGKEFALIKA KYTTARA MIAS JANUIAS; A: MONA TOYS. 2 E: PWS
ALLAZEIS THN GNWMH MIAS JANUIAS; A1: THS FYSAS STO AYTI. A2:
THN KERNAS KI ALLO SFHNAKI. 3 E: PWS KANEIS PLYSH EGKEFALOY
SE MIA JANUIA: A: TH BAZEIS STO NTOYS KAI THN KOYNAS. 4 E: PWS
METRAS THN NOHMOSYNH MIAS JANUIAS; A: BAZEIS PIESOMETRO
STO AYTI THS. 5 E: PWS KANEIS MIA JANUIA NA SE PANTREYTEI; A:
THS LES OTI EINAI EGKYOS.
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==================== 1.Htan dio travesti kai milousan gia tin
proti tous empiria sto sex. Lei o protos: "Ego oso thimame ton eauto mou me
aresan ta koritsakia,hthela na gino san kai autes.Pisteuo oti etsi genithika.Den
mporo na kano allios. " " A,ego den genithika etsi" lei o allos "emena me kanan
etsi giati me biasan" "Se biasan?" rotaei ekpliktos o filos tou. "Nai,me biasan"
apantaei "otan hmouna mikros" "kala, kai pos egine bre paidi mou?" "Na, mia
mera hmouna sto xorafi kai mazeua bambaki,kai etsi opos hmouna skimeni erxete
me fora o xaderfos kai mou tin foraei apo piso" "Kala bre piadi mou kai esi den
ekanes tipota.Den fonakses,den etrekses makria tou." "Kala eisai sobari,pou na
trexo me tis gobes sta chorafia!!!!
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========================== Paei enas gyftos se ena
giatro : -Giatre mou, voitha me. Exw 10 paidia kai i gineka mou olo eggyos menei!
Ti na kanw ? -E, tou leei o giatros, profylaktika de xrisimopoieis ? -Oxi, leei o
gyftos. Ti einai afta? -Pare afto kai ela na mou peis ti egine, ok? leei o giatros.
-O.K. leei kai o giftos. Xanapaei o gyftos se 9 mines. -Ti egine re paidi mou,
rwtaei o giatros. -Na giatre mou, pinw kai egw kai i gineka mou ena tin imera alla
tipota. -Pare pali paidi mou kai xanaela tou leei o giatros. Nasou omws o giftos
meta apo 9 mines. -Ti egine pali tou leei o giatros, de xrisimopoieis profilaktiko?
-E, giatre mou dokimasa ola ta daktila all kai pali den egine tipota -(Tsantizetai o
giatros) Ante paidi mou pisw kai xrisimopoieisai to swsta afti tin fora. Omws o
giftos na sou pali meta apo 9 mines -(O Giatros exorgismenos)Tha me trelaneis
pali? Ti ekanes aftin ti fora? -To foresa alla periseye ligo brosta kai kai to ekopsa
=========================================
========================== O Totos 15 xronwn leei ston
patera tou: - Patera xtes eixa thn prwth mou sexoualikh epafh! - Mprabo gie mou!
Kai twra pws aisthanesai? Ola kala?? - Mia xara, ...alla me ponaei ligo o kwlos!!!
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