The Best Mistake of My Life By Trine29

Chapter One Are you sure this is a good idea? Of course it is! Im always right, arent I? Theyre going to be mad when they find out. Shut upno they wont. Theyll be happy, youll see! Youre so full of it, you know that? Yeah, but thats why you love me. ********** I wake up reluctantly. The room is spinning, and Ive never seen a more evil light coming from outside. Its staring me in the face, taunting me because Im hung over. I dont think Ive ever been this hung over. How much did I have to drink last night? My mind tries to go over the liquor: one glass red wine, two glasses champagne, four, no, five shots tequila...oh boy. I pull my head off YiJung and looked around the room. The light is still there, the room is still spinning, but I can see a bottle of aspirin on the desk. Its ten feet. I think I can make it. Prying my hands out of his, I sit up. Only to fall back down on him, making him groan. Its apparently too early to get out of bed. Wait. Groan? Him? SHIT. YiJung is curled up in bed, and slightly drooling. Trying not to panic, I look around the room and realize its not actually mine. Im in his bed, hung over. Its only now that I bother to look at myself. Im in my underwear, and so is he. Wow. Ive finally done it, and slept with YiJung. If I didnt feel like I was about to throw up all over him, I might have actually been impressed. Ive worked so hard to not sleep with the Casanova, and then I just give it all up on a weekend in Vegas. Classy, GaEul. Super classy. I cant say that Ive never thought of sleeping with YiJung. I mean, look at him. Hes gorgeous, and one of the most interesting people Ive ever met. But, I was proud to say that I was the only girl who hadnt slept with him. Dont think Im a prudeI just dont want to waste my time on someone who cant

commit, okay? And the worst part is that I dont remember any of it. I remember eating at the restaurant; everyone was happy. JanDi showed me wedding pictures for the millionth time, as if I wasnt there. YiJung looked over and I tried to talk telepathically to him. He eventually got the message and saved me from wedding terror. I mean, I love JanDishes my best friendbut a single girl gets tired of smug married couples, okay? I guess I always thought Id be married by 25, or at the very least, in a relationship. Instead, Im working in a shitty job that I just happen to love with no boyfriend, and no boyfriend prospects. I dont even have a pet. When I get home from school, its just me, and dramas on TV. Thank God for those. Which brings me back to the present. What am I going to do now that Im practically naked and in YiJungs bed? I look around for my clothes, and see them folded up neatly in a chair. Wait, what? I guess we didnt have crazy-drop-clothes-all-over-the-room-sex. But I cant imagine myself folding them before we did it. Was it that bad? Hes always bragged about his supposed skills, but I dont remember a thing. Ah, whatever. I slowly get out of bed, and stumble over to the chair for my clothes. YiJung and I are going to have to talk about this sooner or later, and if were both still naked theres an 80% chance of a repeat of last night. Hey. Im strong, but when theres a big plate of chocolate cake with a fork in it on the table, mammas going to eat some. Somehow, I manage to get my clothes back on, take some pills, and was ready to try to make it back to my room when I realize I dont have my key. Getting on all fours, I try looking for it on the ground. No luck. And can I just say that when you feel as terrible as I do, the floor is about the best place to be? I must have been there for ten minutes. Eventually I figure out that my key is not actually in YiJungs room, so I crawl over to the desk where the phone is, and call to the front desk. Good morning Las Vegas! Great. Ive got Suzy Sunshine on the other end. I really cant handle this right now. Hello? My voice is tired and scratchyI sound like Ive been hit by a truck. Much like I feel. What can I help you with? Lets start with talking quieter, Suzy. Ive lost my room key. Thats too bad! But we can get another one to you in just a couple of minutes. Whats the name? It takes a minute to process the English. Im too sick to handle another language. Chu GaEul. Excuse me Ms. Chu, but can you spell that. Ah, I forgot. Americans. They struggle with the simplest of foreign names.

C-h-u G-a-e-u-l. I struggle to get it out. Im sorry Ms. Chu, but youve cancelled your room. What? Youve cancelled your room Ms. Chu. I just checked in yesterday. Yes, but you cancelled your room last night, and had your things moved into Mr. Sos room. Is there anything else I can help you with? Uhhhhh.....no. Have a great morning Ms. Chu, and just ring if you need anything else. And with that, Suzy Sunshine is gone. I sit there, pondering over what has just happened. I cancelled my room, and moved in with YiJung? Why would I do that? Was I trying to save money? NoJanDi and JunPyo paid for everyone. Did I just not like the room? Why didnt I just switch to another then? Did YiJung agree to this? I cant imagine him agreeing to this. I guess were friends, but its weird. I wouldnt have agreed to let him stay in my room if he didnt like it. I doubt WooBin or JiHoo would have let him stay in either of their rooms, too. My fingers tap the phone, the ring clanging against the metal, trying to figure it all out. I may be ill, but my brains are all there! Theres got to be some sort of logical explanation for all of this. I know there is. Wait. Ring? Chapter Two RING? On my left hand is a big ol diamond ring. Its pretty, and looks like something I would buy, but it definitely wasnt there yesterday. God, please let there not be a matching ring on YiJung. PLEASE. I havent asked for much God, and Ive tried to live a pious life, so please give me this one thing. I know I dont go to church every week, but I go at least once a month. Okay. Maybe once every two months. But, you know what, God? Ill quit my job, and do your work if you let me have this one tiny thing. Let me be the only person in this room with a ring on. I cautiously walk over to YiJung, and pull his hand out from under the covers. No ring. I do a mental happy dance, and thank God before I realize that Ive grabbed his right hand. Shoot.

I take a moment before grabbing his other hand. Please let there not be a ring. Please let there not be a ring. Please let there not be a ring. There is a ring. I look at it. Its equally pretty,...and matches mine perfectly. The rings must have come as a pair. Which would mean that last night, we went and.....nope. Cant say it yet. Ive still got hope that YiJung will say we went and did something else. Like, just had normal pre-marital sex. Ill be perfectly fine with that now. Just anything but this. Oh, YiJung! Ive got to wake him up! I try shaking his shoulders, gently. I may have woken up to the cruel, cruel sun, but that doesnt mean I should be as cruel to someone else. YiJung,...its time to get up. Its almost 7:30, and well have breakfast soon. Theres a faint mumble, but thats it. I try again. YiJung...its GaEul...we really need to talk, and I need you to be sober, okay? Please get up Sunbae. His only response is to grab me, and pull me towards him. Crap. This shouldnt feel as good as it does. Sunbae, its really time to get up. I need you to talk to me. He grumbles and pulls me closer. I contemplate staying next to him. But, that would be bad. YiJung doesnt want domestic, and unless he wakes up, were going to end up the very definition of domestic. YiJung, you need to get up. Another grumble, but at least he cracks one eye open. Good morning. Hes not quite awake, but enough to grin at me. Ugh, that stupid grin. I love that grin. I wonder if thats what has gotten us into our current predicament. How ya feeling? Sleepy. I want to go back to bed. He closes his eyes once more. Ya! YiJung! I hit him with my pillow. What? Hes already awake. Im not being cruel. Im just helping him be more awake. Hey! Whyd you do that? He asks, rubbing his head. Oof, I forgot. Hes going to be just as hung over as me. I walk over to the desk and grab him a couple pills. Weve got to talk. Now. YiJung swallows the pills gratefully, and starts to put the pieces together. GaEul? What are you doing here? His voice is groggy and sexy. I make a note to remember sleepy YiJung for the future. After grinning YiJung, sleepy YiJung might be my favorite. Apparently, I canceled my room last night, and ended up here. Oh ok. He nods, as if canceling my room were the most normal thing in the world. Waitwhyd you cancel your room? We got married. I dont know.

Ok. He nods. What did we do last night? There were drinks...and then... We got married. Im not too sure either. I was hoping youd remember. Ok. More nodding. Ill think hard. But first, sleep. His head hits the pillow again, and pulls me towards him. Damn, this really does feel good. Our bodies fit together like puzzle pieces, and I briefly wonder if thats unique to us, or if this happens with him a lot. Hey, YiJung. Before you go back to sleep, theres something you might want to know. He groans, and I know hes listening. We might have gotten married last night. Kay. Ssh now. Sleep. I stay silent and wait for him to process the information. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Married? Ooh, now his voice is high and squeaky. Mmm-hmm. I close my eyes and hope he wont panic too much. GaEul? What leads you to that decision? I hopelessly hold up my left hand. YiJung grabs it and inspects the ring. Youve got one too. He drops my hand to presumably look at his own. Theres a barely audible string of curse words. We did this last night? Apparently. Did we...? I think so. I woke up in my underwear, and you... I can feel his grin. GaEul? Were you a pervert? His voice is more playful now, and I relax slightly. Hes taking this better than I expected. Hm, what Sunbae? I didnt hear you. I close my eyes tighter, and turn my head into the pillow. You are such a pervert GaEul. Araso, well talk about this in a little bit. He turns over the other way and falls back to sleep. I quickly do the same.

Chapter Three Yah! GaEul! What are you doing here? Im woken up sometime later by being poked. Repeatedly. Huh? Sleep was good. I liked sleep. Poking? Not so much. Youre in my room GaEul. Im not one to toss a girl out, but... Wait. Does he not remember? I open my eyes and take a look. Hes dressed, thank God. Or, not so thankfully. I wouldn't mind being a

pervert just once more. GaEul! Are you going to tell me? Shit. He doesnt remember. Do I really have to go through this conversation again? Look at your hand YiJung. Now look at mine. Ring a bell? He looks and the smile immediately drops off his face. Ah, there we go. He just needed a reminder. Were going to have to get this annulled. His voice is suddenly cold. But we GaEul yang! Cant we just pretend we didnt do that? I dont remember it anyways. He scoffs. You dont remember us? The great YiJung, Casanova, doesnt remember our night together? YiJung shrugs sheepishly. I make a point not to remember bad sex. WHAT. This earns him a pillow in the face, but he deserves a lot more. Jerk. Im really good in bed! Or, at least I guess I am. Im not sure. I havent had complaints, but there was only one other guy. Stop staring off into space, GaEul! Weve got things to figure out. Ah, yes. Whoops. YiJung is pacing the room. Because were going to get it annulled, theres no reason to tell anyone. Get it? Dont tell JanDi. What is with him? I think I liked sleepy hung over YiJung infinitely better. Yep. No reason. I cant even imagine JanDis face. Me marrying YiJung. Yikes. That would earn a lecture. No. That would earn a series of lectures. I can picture her scheduling them once a week for the rest of eternity. GaEul, what can you tell me about marrying your best friends husbands best friend on a whim and how thats a bad idea? Ill try going down to the courthouse to get the documents. Keep your phone on you, got it? His voice is emotionless, and his tone is clear. I'm just an inconvenience in his life. I'm not worthy to treat with respect--I'm just here to help get the job done. I wish this didn't bother me so much. With any luck, well get this done today. Im nodding my head, and what did he say? Today? Today. Now for the only sign. Ring. He holds out his hand. Huh? Why should I give up my ring? He sees my face, and reads my thoughts. GaEul. I bought it. Hand it over. Ok... I start pulling on my ring. If this thing wasnt so weird, I might be sad to take it off. It really is a beautiful ring. Its got these vine engravings on the side leading up to two small sapphires and a diamond in the center. But for all my efforts, the ring isnt coming off. My finger is apparently too large, or the ring is too small. Im not sure. Either way, the finger is red and puffy.

Uh, YiJung? Weve got a problem. He looks down and makes a face. Im not sure if hes amused or if he wants to throttle me. Pabo. Youve done it the wrong way. He scolds me. You cant just pull it offyouve got to twist slowly. Watch this. He starts twisting his own ring off. Only to have it get stuck at the joint. HA! Serves him right. Shit. What? Were going to both be stuck wearing the rings. Both of us have to wear them? My stomach gets a little knot--the kind when you know something is a bad idea. The swelling is too much right now. Itll go down in a day or two. Sotry to not let anyone see. Keep your hands in your pockets, or something. He mumbles. Our fingers are a little ridiculous; red, swollen with the skin rubbed raw. The couple fingers to match the couple rings. How we managed to get these on last night, I have no idea. Do they have attendants in America to do that if youre too drunk? And for that matter why do they let two drunken people get married??? If JanDi asks about the ring, just make something up. GaEul! Are you listening to me? Of course Im listening to you. I always listen. But excuse me while I have an existential crisis over here, YiJung. Its not everyday that a nice, normal girl from Seoul goes to America on a whim for her best friends 25th birthday, gets plastered, and wakes up married to the man of her dreams, who happens, by the way, to be completely, entirely, and totally wrong for her, and who has absolutely no desire to be married to her. Maybe it was the stress of the situation, or maybe it was that I was still hung over, but something about that last thought got to me, and I crumpled to the floor and began to cry. Im not taking beautiful Choi JiWoo tears here. You know, the kind that makes the leading man leap over buildings to wipe away said tears with a designer handkerchief. No, Im not pretty enough for tears like that. My tears come with snot out the nose, hyperventilation and ugly puffy eyes. And as such, YiJung took one look at me, while I wiped snot on my sleeve, and walked into the bathroom, leaving me on my own. Chapter Four I cried for a good long time, while YiJung took a shower. I just cant believe Ive gotten myself into this situation. And Im angry that I have to waste this time on YiJung. Sure, Im smitten. But he cant commit, and he apparently hates me. So, when this is all over and done, Im going to treat myself to a pedicure and find a nice new boyfriend. Someone who treats me right. Im tempted to pat myself on the back. Good plan, GaEul. A for effort. YiJung steps out of the bathroom looking like hes ready for a photo shoot. Hair is perfectly styled. The suit tailored and wrinkle-free. Face? Clean shaven. Ive got a simple dress onits purple, and its

flattering, but compared to him, I look like a mess. Arguh. Thats another reason YiJung is wrong for me. He dresses better than I do. At 10:00 am, we make our entrance in the lobby separately. JanDi, JiHoo and WooBin are already there. JunPyo, however, isnt. My stupid husbands late. I felt a pang of jealousy in my chest before I remember that I also had a husbandeven if he was a jerk and won't actually be my husband for long. Granted, JanDi doesnt know this, and wont ever know this, but still. Im now a smug married couple. Its alright, JanDi. We dont mind waiting. YiJung is as cool as ever. Hes got his hands in his pockets, and hes acting like he went to bed at 8:00 pm last night hes so rested. Hes obviously had more experience than I in lying. My idea is to speak as little as possible. If I dont talk, I cant give us away. Which naturally means that the plan will go to hell in about 10 seconds. GaEul, where were you this morning? I tried calling your room and your cell, but you didnt answer... JanDi pushes her face up into mine. She thinks its cute, and I think shes too old for that. Ugh... Dammit. I knew I couldnt do this. I was....sleeping. Heavily. Alone. Booze. Tired. Alone. Vegas. Food? Shiiiiiiit. That was awful. My eyes impulsively dart to YiJung and he looks like hes enjoying every minute of this, the bastard. I know he is thinking I am really bad at this. Okay... JanDi looks doubtful, but thankfully she leaves it alone. So, whats the plan for today? JunPyo, yes! He always knows the best time to make an entrance. Ya! Gu JunPyo! Could you have been any slower? JanDi hits her husband. We almost died, we were so bored! Sorry. Im not. You couldnt have come at a better time, JunPyo. Well, I was thinking of going gambling. WooBin says. Im going to find a nice place to read. Of course you are, JiHoo. Ive got a couple errands to run in town. Shouldnt take too long, and then Ill join you, WooBin? YiJung looks to the door, as if merely standing here was wasting his time. WooBin nods his agreement. GaEul, and I are going shopping, right? Shopping? In LasVegas? I knew I loved you JanDi. In that case, Im going with you. JunPyo wraps his arms around this wife, only to be hit again. No! Go gambling! This is our girl day! Well see you later. And with that, she storms off, grabbing me by the wrists. Poor JunPyo is left standing in the lobby, dumbfounded. We quickly catch a taxi and head to the shops. Everything in this city is neon colored, and loudIm not sure what kinds of clothes await us. They should be beautiful...and expensive. JanDi leads us into one shoe store, only to be astonished by the price tags. Did she not think it would be

more expensive in America, than in Korea? She was all set to leave when I reminded her that she married one of the worlds richest men. I think she can afford a pair of $2000 Louboutins. She reluctantly bought one pair, and then decided she wanted to go someplace more our style and price. God bless my best friend. Sure, shes smugly married, but she knows where she came from, and I dont think shell ever forget it. Im sure she sits at home in her mansion and clips coupons to use at the grocery store. We ended up at a small mall outside of Vegas, and began shopping. These stores dont have silks, and cashmeres, but the clothes were nicely styled. Plenty of them would be wearable to work. I was thumbing my way through the rack, trying to find my size when JanDi noticed. Damn. Yah, GaEul. Whats on your hand? Hm? What? I try to think of a distraction, but JanDi is too quick. The ring. Ring? Do you mean the one on the mannequin? I point the other way before JanDi grabs my hand and waves it in my face. This one. Ohthat ring. I...bought it...? No way in hell was this convincing. Yah! GaEul! Dont lie to me. Sigh. Okay, okay. I was goofing off the other day with Sunbae, and I tried on the ring at a store. It got stuck, so he decided to just buy it. Were going to return it as soon as my finger stops swelling. It was just too embarrassing to tell, okay? Sheesh. JanDi looks at me skeptically. She was thinking over the answer. She ended up laughing in my face. Only you GaEul would get such a ring stuck on your finger. At least its pretty, right? Phew. You had me worried for a minute. I was afraid you were going to say you were engaged! I cant believe I got away with the lie. Damn you YiJung! I must have caught your lying ability! I nervously laugh. Yeah, me and YiJung. Engaged! Great joke JanDi. She looks at me blankly. YiJung? Why would you be engaged to YiJung? I was thinking it was the teacher at your school. Teacher at my school? Who was she talking a---Oh, Han TaeSoong. Han TaeSoong is the fifth grade teacher two rooms down from me. He is middle-aged, never been married, and Im sure he goes home each night to go on CyberWorld and play video games. My life might be sad, but his is worse. And from the day I started working at the school, he seemed determined to win me over. Which was weird because he also doesnt have much in the way of social skills. Im not sure how many times I walked into my classroom to find some sort of awkward gifta single movie ticket, homemade jam, a live fish to cook with. They were all sweet, but slightly off. How could JanDi think Id agree to marry him?!?

Han TaeSoong? JanDi, youre kidding me, right? I just wanted to make sure you didnt do something crazy! She smiles and continues looking at the clothes. At least she didnt ask my why I thought I was engaged to YiJung. I was just about to go try on a new dress when I got a text message. Who knew three words could strike so much fear in my heart? Cant get annulled. Chapter Five Cant get annulled? Cant get annulled??? WHY? Did he tell them weNo! He wouldnt say that! Then, why cant it be done? And why on Earth did he send that as a text message??? You just dont do that! If YiJung thinks hes going to get away with this, hes got another thing coming to him! I ask him why, and get a response from him a few minutes later. Takes too long. Takes too long??? ARGUH. He said it could be done today! Stupid YiJung. Thats it. Im calling him. I need to vent. I manage to wrangle free of JanDi to call. What do you mean it takes too long?!? It takes a week to process the paperwork in America. A week?!? Plus, we have to make a copy of the wedding certificate, which I havent seen. Wedding certifi Well just do it when we get back. Well be married two weeks. Tops. YahYiJung. I cant wait two weeks. Ive got my own life! Pretty busy with watching TV dramas, eh GaEul? Watching dramas? This man is infuriating! Ive got plenty of other things, too! Sure, you do. Busy with two men, Ben and Jerry, right? How could he say that?!?! I dont even like ice cream! ...That much. Im hanging up now. GaEul! Its a joke! Sheesh. Dont be so uptight. Anyways. Find the certificate when you get back. Why me?! Because Ive got other things to do. And with that, he hangs up. UGH. He hasnt changed at all, YiJung. Hes still the same jerk I knew in high school, and if he hasnt changed by now, he never will. Just one more reason to find that nice new boyfriend. Hmm...lets call

him Steve. Steve will be perfect in every single way. He will be handsome, kind, a great cook, thoughtful, and he will have a nice normal job that has nothing to do with pottery. My thoughts are disrupted by the reappearance of JanDi. There you are! Ive been trying to find you for the last ten minutes! Sorry. I got a phone call, and didnt want to bother you. Oh ok. You ready to go? In her arms is another bag of clothes. I wonder how shes going to get it all home. Let me go buy this dress, and Ill be right there. I run off and quickly pay for my purchase. I never actually tried it on, but eh. Its cute, Im cute, so it cant look that bad, right? Besides, its only $30 US Dollars. Thats cheap. I think. Im not bad at math, but currency conversion has always been a struggle for me. We decide to grab a quick lunch before heading back to the hotel. It was pleasant enough, but I dont think JanDi and I are cut out for American food. Everything is just so...big. And heavy. I want my porridge. I can eat a big bowl of that, and be fine for the day. But here, you order a sandwich, and you get the entire loaf of bread. Plus chips. And French fries. And a cookie. And soda to top it all off. Who can eat that much? Back at the hotel Im stopped by one of the bell hoppers. Mrs. So, can you stop by the front desk please? Mrs. So? Thats not my name. My pulse quickens while I look nervously over at JanDi. Mrs. So? Im sorry. Youve got the wrong name. This is Chu GaEul. JanDi informs him, helpfully. The bell hopper, however, is more persistent. I was told you were Mrs. So. Would you mind stopping at the front desk, please? Yah. Thats not her name! Crap. JanDi is getting worked up. If this continues, hes going to mention my recent marriage. I try cutting in. JanDi, Ill just go talk to the front desk and tell them, okay? Dont get mad at the bell hopper. Hes just doing his job. She looks angry, but nods anyways. Want me to come with you? No. I can do it myself. Plus, I can see JunPyo and he looks like hes going to go insane if you dont run over there right now. JunPyo is waving his arms furiously trying to get her attention. She smiles, says her goodbyes and runs off. I fidget while I walk over to the front desk. What were they going to say? I mean, the bell hopper almost blew my cover, and JanDis already asked about the ring...yikes. This is beginning to become a lot more complicated than its meant to be. Um...the bell hopper told me to stop by...? The woman at the front desk looks up at me expectantly. Oh, Mrs. So! I wanted you to come down so I could give you your new room key, and this also came

for you. She hands me a piece of paper and the key. Can I ask why youre calling me Mrs. So? Its on your wedding certificate, maam. I look at the piece of paper, and nearly scream. There in giant letters is YiJungs and my name. Well, at least thats one thing I can check off my list. Chapter Six The wedding certificate. Up until now, I was kind of hoping this was some big misunderstanding. I stare at the certificate for a minute, thank the woman, and hurry back to my room. YiJungs room. Our room. He isnt there, so I plop down on the bed, and start staring at the door, waiting for his return. Im absolutely in shock. I cant even muster up the energy to text him, telling him to come back. Im not sure what time YiJung returns. He sees me sitting motionless on the bed, walks over and sits down next to me, not saying a word. I give him the certificate that, by this point, has been crinkled in my hands. He looks, and nods his head. You found it. The front desk had it. I see, he pauses, Its all real now. I guess so. Okay. The two of us sit silently for quite sometime. Him, sitting here with me, is almost enough to forgive him for this morning. I can sense a change in him, too. We both know this is real. Weve made a mistake togethernot me, not YiJung, usand now weve got fix it. What we were hoping was going to be easy, is going to be more difficult, but we can fix it together. The silence is comfortable. Until my stomach growls and YiJung begins to laugh. You could have said you were hungry, GaEul. I hadnt thought about it much, truthfully. He looks at his watch. Its actually a little past 7:30 now. Should we go try to find our friends? Sure. YiJung pulls out his phone and calls the boys. Only JiHoo answers. They speak for a moment, and he hangs up. Theyve eaten dinner already.

Oh. I cant think of anything else to say. Itll just be you and me, then. Alright. Anything but American food, okay? Agreed. He pauses and looks down at our wedding certificate once more. You know, he says, we must have been much more drunk than I thought. This handwriting is terrible. I look down. Ick. I can barely read my own name. Me too. He shrugs, and we go outside to catch a taxi. YiJung gives the name of a restaurant Ive never heard of, and we sit on either side of the car. I wonder what hes thinking about. Probably how annoying it is to be with me. Hmph. Ill just think the same thing. Have you gone sightseeing, GaEul? In Vegas? No, pabo. Busan. What? Why would I go sightseeing in Busan? Thats stupid YiJung. He sees my face. Of course I mean Vegas. Ugh,...Yes. I knew that. Not really. Its a shame were leaving in the morning. There are some really beautiful places here. Well have to do it next time, then. Next time? We arrive at the restaurant on the outskirts of the city. To my surprise, YiJung opens my taxi door, and holds out his hand. I take it; he pulls me out, and then immediately drops my hand. So much for being a gentleman. What kind of food is it? Japanese. That alright? I found this place on my first visit here, and keep coming back. He walks in the restaurant, and it seems everyone knows him. One of the waiters starts a conversation, asking him what hes been up to, and how long until he does an exhibition in Las Vegas. Hes apparently tired of only seeing YiJungs work in magazines. YiJung says hell mail a piece to him as a late birthday present. Were barely seated before the owner of the restaurant comes over. Shes in her mid-fifties, and is clearly under his spell. Ha. I can break that for you, maam. YiJung! Whos this young woman? She nudges YiJung and waits for an introduction. Ah, this is my friend, GaEul. GaEul, this is Mai-san, the owner. I bow my head and say hello. You must be special, GaEul. YiJung never brings girls here. What did she say? I raise an eyebrow over at YiJung, but hes busy avoiding my eye contact. Its then Mai sees the rings. YiJung! Baka! Mai hits him on the head. How could you lie to me?! Shes more than your friend!

Shes your wife, isnt she? HA. YiJung looks like a deer in headlights. He cant tell Mai the truth, but he cant say were married either. It takes him a moment to compose himself, and he smiles at Mai. She seems relieved. GaEul-san, keep a tight leash on YiJung, okay? Hes a good boy, and he means well, but sometimes hes a little clueless. But, Im sure you know what I mean. She winks conspiratorially at me. What does she mean? Clueless? YiJung? Well, I should let you two lovebirds be alone. Be sure to eat the tuna tonight, okay? Its our freshest. Mai bows at us, and goes to speak to other customers. YiJung and I order a selection of dishes, and all are delicious. We dont speak much during dinner, and Im tempted to ask him more about Mai. They seem to know each other very well. Did she live in Seoul? But, I keep my mouth shut. We have a nine-hour plane ride in the morning; there will be plenty of time to bother YiJung with questions. He pays for the dinner, and we return home. It vaguely occurs to me that we never got a second room for me. Oh well. I glance at my watch. Theres only twelve hours left in America. We take the elevator up to our room, and I go into the bathroom to change, and brush my teeth. When I come out, YiJung has made the couch up into a bed. As much as he can, anyways. I start towards the couch to sleep, when he shakes his head and points to the actual bed. You take it. Are you sure? Yeah. I got lots of sleep last night, anyways. He smiles, and reaches for a small bag. Oh, and I bought this for you today. I just forgot about it earlier. Here. He shoves the bag at me. Inside is a book about American pottery and sculpture. The pictures are exquisite, and unlike everything Ive studied in Korea. Its a thoughtful gift. But, Sunbae...why...? I...I...felt bad for yelling earlier. Can we not make a big deal out of it? YiJung is looking at the floor, avoiding my gaze again. Thank you. Youre welcome. Chapter Six Point Five I hang up the phone with GaEul abruptly, and then wince. I shouldnt have done that to her. I had already yelled at her this morning, and now again in the afternoon? What a right bastard you are, YiJung. Well, Ill have to make it up to her somehow. As terrible as Ive treated GaEul today, I know its just been my way of coping. What would you do if you woke up surprisingly married? To your best friends wifes best friend? Yeah. Thats messed up!

GaEul was her typical nervous self. She puts up this tough image, like shes the calm in the storm, but inside, I know she was a mess. I walk through various stores, trying to find something for GaEul. It cant be jewelryI dont want her to read too much into this gift, and clothes seem boring. Eventually I end up at a plain old bookstore. Part of some chain in America, Im sure. Theyve got everything you could ever want. This seems like a better place to find something nice for the commoner. Naturally, I head over to the art section. What? I hardly have time for reading. And, I have no idea what kind of books she likes to read anyways. See? Theres a reason why this marriage is a terrible idea. I dont know anything about GaEul. Most of the art books bore me, until I found one about American potteryand what makes it different from other styles. Its filled with examples, and the history in easy terms. I dont think GaEuls English is that great. I buy the book and hurry back to the hotel, only to find GaEul sitting on the bed, waiting for me. My first instinct is to drop my bag, run over and hold her tightly. Thats what Id do with any other girl. But with her it just seems wrong. Instead, I walk over and just sit down next to her. I dont touch her. She hands me a crumpled piece of paper, I look and see that shes found our wedding certificate. I didnt think she would actually do thatshe didnt have to. But, I nod my head and sit there with her. You found it. My voice is quiet. I dont want to ruin the somber mood. The front desk had it. I see. Up until this moment, today had felt like a joke. Its all real now. I guess so. Okay. Im determined not to say anything before her. I really should have been more considerate this morning. As much as I dont want to be married, I think GaEul doesnt want to be married to me. GaEuls stomach breaks the silence, and I start to laugh. You could have said you were hungry, GaEul. I hadnt thought about it much, truthfully. She looks at the floor, as if she were embarrassed. I check my watch. Its actually a little past 7:30 now. Should we go try to find our friends? Sure. I grab my phone, and start dialing. JunPyo and WooBin both dont pick up. Theyre probably off with the women folk. Unlike JiHoo, who picks up on the first ring. We speak, and I turn to GaEul. Theyve eaten dinner already. Oh.

Itll just be you and me, then. Alright. Anything but American food, okay? Agreed. I take one more look at the wedding certificate. You know, I say, we must have been much more drunk than I thought. This handwriting is terrible. GaEul also looks. Ick. I can barely read my own name. Me too. I shrug, and we leave the hotel. As we climb into the taxi I tell the driver to go to Umes, my favorite restaurant in Vegas. GaEul is sitting on the other side of the car, looking in awe at the number of buildings in the city. You would think she would be used to such a thing, living in Seoul, but apparently not. Foolish girl. Have you gone sightseeing, GaEul? In Vegas? No, pabo. Busan. That was a rude thing to say. I need to stop doing that to GaEul. Of course I mean Vegas. Not really. She looks a little disappointed. Its a shame were leaving in the morning. There are some really beautiful places here. Well have to do it next time, then. I want to hit myself for saying that. What are you saying? Next Time? There isnt going to be a next time YiJung. When we arive at Umes, I open GaEuls door, and hold out my hand to pick her up. Her hand is warm, and inviting. That surprises me, and I drop it immediately. What kind of food is it? Japanese. That alright? I found this place on my first visit here, and keep coming back. When we walk in, a waiter named Jun stops me. I met him four or five years ago, and hes taken a great interest in pottery. A nice guyif he would come to Korea, Id find him an apprenticeship. As soon as we take our seats, Mai finds us. She gives me a hug, says hello, and then in usual fashion, wants to know everything about GaEul. YiJung! Whos this young woman? Mai taps her foot impatiently. Ah, this is my friend, GaEul. GaEul, this is Mai-san, the owner. GaEul bows her head, and says her greetings. You must be special, GaEul. YiJung never brings girls here. Crap. Mai? Did you have to say that? I didnt want GaEul to know that. My eyes dart to the floor. I know GaEul is looking at me, and I dont want to see her expression. YiJung! Baka! Mai hits me. Huh? What did I do? How could you lie to me?! Lie? Shes more

than your friend! Shes your wife, isnt she? SHIT. Mai has always been too observant. I say nothing. If I answer either way, Im damned. Best to stay quiet and smile. Our meal is quiet and pleasant. I pay and we return. As we walk through the lobby, I wonder if we should get a second room for tonight. I look over at GaEul, but she doesnt say anything. If it doesnt bother her, I wont let it bother me. The room is large anyways. Upon entering, GaEul grabs her pajamas and goes into the bathroom. I open a closet, and am fortunate enough to find extra blankets and pillows. I arrange them on the couch. To be honest, it looks terrible. But, whatever. Its just for one night. When GaEul comes out of the bathroom she walks over to the couch. What? Does she think shes sleeping here? Come on, GaEul. Am I that kind of guy? Im not sure I like that she thinks I am. I shake my head, and point to the bed. You take it. Are you sure? Yeah. I got lots of sleep last night, anyways. I smile and remember the present. Oh, and I bought this for you today. I just forgot about it earlier. Here. I roughly hand her the bag. GaEul pulls out the book, and her face completely changes. She looks radiant...and then confused. But, Sunbae...why...? I...I...felt bad for yelling earlier. Can we not make a big deal out of it? Just accept my apology, and I can stop thinking about you GaEul. Thank you. Her smile is warm, and makes me think of baby animals. Something tells me this is going to be a long night. Chapter Seven The flight back to Seoul was uneventful. Everyone was tired from the weekend. JanDi and JunPyo slept on each others shoulders. WooBin had his face smashed up against the window, drooling. I had to take a couple pictures. Thats not mean, right? I wont show them to too many people. YiJung drove me to my apartment, and now Im waiting for him to say goodbye. As per his usual self, hes leaning against his car in his sunglasses looking cool. Despite it being overcast. Ah, screw it. Im exhausted. I cant wait for him. Im talking first. Should we go to the courthouse tomorrow? I ask. Dont worry about it. Ill go. He sounds tired. Okay. Thanks. Ill call after I get the documents. Try to keep a low profile, okay? He smirks, gets back in the car and drives off. Im not sure if he was joking or not.

My apartment is exactly the same. Small. Cheap. Clean. I drop my bag on the floor and fall on the bed. I barely have time to think about this weekends events before jet lag wins over me. School is the same too. Im not ten feet inside the building before my friend Tuuli runs over. Tuuli is a beautiful blonde-haired, blue-eyed exchange teacher from Finland. Her Korean is surprisingly good, but were both terrible at English, so most of the time we try to speak in that language. How was Las Vegas? Did you win money? How was JanDi? Arent you tired? She runs out of breath, and is forced to pauselucky for me. I wish I could tell her about YiJungTuuli would enjoy the story. Too bad. Instead, I smile and tell her that the weekend was fine, and that Im pretty tired. She nods, and leaves before turning around once more. I think I saw TaeSoong go into your room this morning. Be prepared. Oof. I was hoping that I wasnt going to have to deal with TaeSoong this morning. I wave to Tuuli, and trod down the hallway to my room. If I hadnt heard a rumor that I was going to be promoted to fourth-grade teacher next year, I probably would have transferred by now. Ive tried everything I can to dissuade TaeSoong, and nothing has worked. He still tries just as hard as he did in the beginning. I linger at my classroom door. I cant smell anything, good or bad. Looking both ways before, I open the door. On the desk is an envelope with my name on it. TaeSoong wrote me a welcome home card, and put poker chips inside...right. Im unsure if I should thank him or not. I definitely dont want to encourage him, but I dont want to be rude either. Perhaps a thank you card? There is a knock at the door, and before I can do anything, Han TaeSoong enters my room. Crap. I see you got my card, He says as he runs his hands through his thinning hair. Oh, I did. Thank you. God this is awkward. Im so bad at these types of situations. I thought the poker chips were funny, because you were in Vegas. Get it? Yes. Yes, I do. Oh ha. Yes. Very funny. Aaaand, the room goes quiet. Again. I trust your weekend was fun? You didnt go and do anything crazy, did you? Like get married? Ha! He laughs to himself. Oh, Han TaeSoong. If only you knew the truth. Well,...Ill be sitting in my normal spot outside during lunch today, if you care to join. He bows all too formally, and leaves my room with a jaunt. He thinks that went well. Class was the same as usual. My second-graders ran rampant during recess, and mostly behaved inside. We practiced writing sentences, learning addition and ended the day with coloringtheirs and my favorite. Tuuli and I were able to stay busy during lunch, which meant we didn't get to eat, but that's the price I pay for being cowardly and avoiding TaeSoong. Jandi calls me on the way home from work in the afternoon. Want to get an early dinner? Yes please!

Im starving and bored out of my mind waiting for YiJungs call. Shes already at the restaurant by the time I get there. Its a regular place we go tonothing special. Just lots of hot Korean food. We dig into our meals happily. Hows work going? They still call me dummy, but because everyone likes JiHoo, Im not treated badly. She sighs. I know how it feels JanDi. Believe me. She changes the subject. You havent been able to get that ring off yet? I kind of forgot I was wearing it, actually. No, its still too swollen. I try pulling on the ring with no luck. Did you buy that here? JanDi asks. My JanDi alarm starts to go off. Whee-o, whee-o. Yeah...it...was at the jewelry store downtown... Which one? Its so pretty, I want to buy something similar for my mom. Crap. JanDi cant you leave it alone?!? Uh...That French one...? Im pretty sure sweat has formed on my face. Cartier? Uh...sure... If I keep lying, Im going to have to get good at it, right? Lets go, alright? GO?!? I toss a couple of bills on the table as JanDi drags me out of the restaurant. Shit. Shit. Shit. Im going to get caught in my lie I just know it. JanDi is going to freak out and never speak to me again. YiJung is going to leave me. Im going to be alone, friendless and divorced. Ill never get married for real, and will end up dying at forty when stray dogs eat me. Ill GaEul? She waves her hand in my face, and I snap out of my nightmare. Is this the store? Were standing in from of Cartier. You know, I should remain positive. It might be the store. It's certainly possible. Out of the thousands of jewelry stores in the world, my ring could have been bought here. I wouldnt know because I DONT REMEMBER. She pulls me inside and immediately shows my ring to one of the salespeople. Excuse me, do you have this design in a necklace? The man looks confused. Hell, I would be too if someone asked where something was in a store that they dont sell. Let me see what I can find. He returns a few minutes later with several necklaces, but none of them have the same pattern my ring does. JanDi is not pleased. No, I want this pattern. See? She pokes at my finger, and hello? JanDi? Its still swollen, remember? This kind of hurts. Im afraid we dont have that exact pattern, miss. These are just as beautiful... Oh God. Im going to

get caught any minute now and Im terrified. JanDis staring at me, and I can feel the sweat coming down my face. But my friend said she bought her ring here last week. He looks at me, trying to recognize me. Not going to happen buddy. I wasnt here to begin with. It feels like a lot of time has passed. Has it been a long time? I cant tell. Is it hot in here, or is it just me? Aaah, wheres the F4 when you really need them??? The salesman looks at me, and winks. I do remember your friend miss, but Im afraid weve sold out of that pattern, so these necklaces are the closest we can get. What? Did the salesman just lie for me? I wipe some sweat away, and silently thank the man. Hes done his good deed for the day. JanDi frowns, and walks out of the store. I run after her. Are you sure you bought the ring there, GaEul? Uh...yes. It might have been a different location. Im...uh...still pretty jetlagged. Hm. Actually, you know what? I should get home. Im tired and need to catch up on sleep. Busy weekend and all. But, I barely saw you this weekend... CRAP. Stop talking GaEul. Youre. Making. It. Worse. Sorry! Gotta run! Bye! I hail a taxi and jump into the first one that stops, leaving JanDi standing with her mouth wide open on the sidewalk. That was too close. If this is only your first day after getting back to Korea GaEul, how are you going to make it two weeks without anyone finding out? Ha. I shouldnt have thought that. As soon as I had gotten home, and crawled into bed I got a text message from YiJung. JiHoo knows. Karmas sure a bitch. Chapter Eight JiHoo knows??? JiHoo knows??? How the hell does he know??? All of my exhaustion from a few minutes earlier seems to have melted away. Im furious with YiJung. How could he have sent information to me like that again?!? Does he know sending news like that by text isnt normal?!?!!? I dont even bother replying to his text. Im calling him, dammit. How on Earth does JiHoo know?!? I might be screaming at him. I told him. He calmly replies. TOLD HIM?!? After you told me to not tell anyone?!?

Yes. He says this as if it were the most reasonable thing in the world. You told JiHoo? Why didnt you lie??? JiHoo can tell when I lie. So? You were doing fine earlier! I lied to JanDi! Justit wouldnt have worked. Well, howd he find out? I need answers, dammit! I was at the courthouse getting the documents, when I ran into him. He asked what they were, and I couldnt lie to him. Complete accident, GaEul. Calm down. Its not the end of the world. I am calm, YiJung! See me handling the situation well? What was he doing at the courthouse?!?! Getting his license renewed. Oh. Has he told anyone else? Or is he going to? I dont know. Maybe. Ask him yourself. And with that, YiJung hands the phone to JiHoo. Hows the newly wed? Shut up JiHoo. Dont joke like that. You know this is a mistake. Some say mistake, others say fate. Fate? What? Are you going to tell everyone else? Arent you? No! YiJung has made it very clear were getting this annulled as soon as possible. Its too difficult if everyone knows. Annulled? He sounds surprised. From what I heard you cant He told you that too??? Put him back on the phone please, JiHoo. A second later I have YiJung again. Ya! Who said you could kiss and tell?! Okay, so it might not be kissing and telling if neither party remembers what happened. But STILL. A husband shouldnt do that! Shoot. I cant think of YiJung as my husband. Nope. Hes my.... hes the...person Im accidentally married to. There we go. I dont think it counts GaEul if I dont remember it. How does he read my thoughts??? I only said that we woke up naked anyways, he continues. He could put the pieces together. Hmph. Its private.

Not anymore. Ill call you tomorrow. He laughs and hangs up the phone. I lie in bed, frustrated. Why is he taking this so lightly? Our secret is slowly getting out. JiHoo knows. JanDi is asking weird questions, which means JunPyo is going to ask weird questions. It doesnt make any sense. Hes the one who has a problem with marriage. Hes the one who broke up with mewho am I kidding? Our relationship never got off the ground. My thoughts are interrupted by another text, this time from JiHoo. I wont tell. Get coffee with me tomorrow? Thats a huge relief. I quickly reply that Id love to, and with that piece of stress off my chest; Im able to get a little sleep for the night. Work was the same the next day. Tuuli and I were able to grab a nice lunch, even if there were thirty small children begging us to play with them. We eventually gave in and started a game of tag. The game was just ending when I noticed JiHoo standing by the school fence. I waved, and motioned that I was going to grab my things. Running back to see him, he smiled. Even though its been years since Ive known him, he never seems to change. And in the ways he has, its always been better. Maybe JiHoo is like a fine wine. He just gets better with age. How are you doing? I ask. Busy, but thats okay. And you? A little stressed. He raises his eyebrows, but doesnt say anything. We walk to a nearby cafe and buy coffees. So, he begins, How did this happen? Im not sure myself. What did YiJung tell you? You two woke up naked with rings on fingers, and found a wedding certificate. Yeah...thats about it, actually. I grimace. It sounds so much worse when he puts it like that. You dont remember any of it? Er,...no. We all were pretty drunk. I remember that, he says. Of course you do, JiHoo. You barely had one drink. What are you thinking? Ohnothing. Its just kind of funny. I think youre more freaked out by this than YiJung. What now? Really? Did he say anything? Tone it down a little GaEul. You sound just a little eager.

No, but I can tell. Hes not upset by this marriage? No. Thats not true. Every time I speak to him he mentions the annulment. GaEul, have you ever stopped to think about why you got married? What? No. It was simple, drunken mistake. Im sure of that. But one of you had to come up with the idea, and the other agreed to it. There might be something there, GaEul. What is he talking about? I dont get it. Is he saying that I might actually want to be married to YiJung? Or, that YiJung might actually want to be married to me? JiHoo. It was a mistake, thats all. We were drunk and thought it would be funny. End of story. Stop pulling my leg, JiHoo. I decide to change the subject. So youre not going to tell JanDi? You dont trust me? He grins, and I cant tell if hes joking or not. I do, but I dont trust JanDi to imprison me for life if she finds out what Ive done. He laughs. Thats true. JanDi is...protective of you to say the least. We both smile and sip our drinks. Have you ever thought of getting married? I ask. A little, but you need to fall in love first, dont you? OhIm sorry. You need to fall in love, unless youre you. Hey now! Thats not entirely fair. We didnt know we were getting married. Meanie. I stick out my tongue, but laugh. Im sure JiHoo isnt going to tell. He knows that this whole mess is between YiJung and me. Chapter Nine Ive just started making dinner when YiJung calls me. The boy has great timing. Does he know that? What are you doing? Ooh, impatient, arent we? Making dinner. You? Holding in my hands the annulment documents. Is he happy? He sounds happy. See JiHoo? Youre wrong. Completely wrong. Can I come over? He asks. Theres a bunch of things to be signed. Youre going to want dinner too, arent you? Maybe. What are you making? Spaghetti. I felt Italian tonight. Excellent. Ill be there in...,two minutes. Two? Yah! YiJung! Are you standing in front of my building? Maybe. He hangs up the phone, and I run to the mirror. Not too bad. Just a little flour on the face. I

rub it off right before YiJung rings my doorbell. I open the door, and he walks straight in. Way to make yourself comfortable. Dinner wont be ready for a while. What are the papers? In short? There are about ten things for you to sign. One saying that you dont want my money, and visa versa, one saying it was an accident, and one saying that we didnt Gotcha. I dont need the reminder, YiJung. We just have to sign everything, and go into the courthouse sometime this week to have everything finalized. Easy. YiJung doesnt seem way too happy, he is too happy. Next time I see him, Im going to throttle JiHoo. Hes full of crap. How about you watch TV or something while I finish up the food? Want me to set the table first? What? Hes being considerate. Must be because hes so excited about no longer being married to me. If you want. Plates are in the cabinet to the left, cups in the right, and silverware is in this drawer. YiJung begins dancing around me in the kitchen as I cook. Its...oddly domestic. For a boy who knows little else than pottery, he knows what hes doing. Or, hes good at pretending. He can stay out of my way, but can still be able to find what he needs in the kitchen. Is there anything else needed? I look over, and hes already finished setting the table. Geez. Fast. I dont think so. Go ahead and watch some TV. I continue making a salad, while he sits down on the couch. Now that I think about it, Im not sure hes ever actually been inside my apartment before. Hes dropped me off outside several times, but there hasnt been a need for him to come up. I sneak a look at YiJung. Hes made himself at home on my couch, watching the news. If anything, he looks even more domestic than he did in the kitchen. Its weird and comforting at the same time. I go back to making dinner, adding spices to the spaghetti sauce when I hear YiJung swear and call my name. What is it? GaEul. Just come here. His tone is stern, and I run over. On the television is a picture of us. Getting out of the taxi in Vegas. Holding hands. With our wedding rings showing.

SHIT. SHIT. SHIT. I collapse to the floor, and am unable to pull myself away from the lies being presented on television. Famous artist and notorious playboy So YiJung eloped this past weekend on a holiday to Las Vegas in America. Who is the lucky girl who tamed this beast? We dont know! According to our reports the yet un-named bride wore a Vera Wang gown, while So was dressed in an Armani suit. The wedding took place at the home of a family friend of So with just two witnesses and a justice of the peace. Word is the two plan on honeymooning on a private island in the south next week. Where do they get this stuff?!? Nothing the reporter said is true. It cant be! Where is my gown? Where is his suit? Wheres the justice of the peace??? YiJung glances at me, and I know hes thinking the same thing. So... His eyes look glazed over. How did they find out? My voice is quiet. Its hard to be upset; Im too emotionally drained. Someone probably took that picture of us by accident, and then made the rest up. He sounds just as drained as me. What do you want to do about this? Should we call them out on their lies? I say. Everyone will find that out tomorrow... Huh? What do you mean? Well, first, theyre going to figure out who you are. You might not be famous, but you teach at one of the better schools. Anyone who knows you, knows that its you in the photo. They might not figure it out that quickly,... I back peddle. Theyre going to figure it out. Theres no question in his voice, and I believe him. The public is going to know its me by tomorrow. YiJung continues, Not to sound vain, but me getting married is news. So, the other reporters will figure out that this reporter is mostly lying. Either way, the photo is still real. Gulp. This doesnt sound good. So, we just say that it was a mistake. A joke, even. We were playing a prank on our friends, and it got carried away. My voice carries with false hopebut I try anyways. GaEul yang. YiJung is rubbing his face. He looks stressed. Its not that simple. What are your parents going to say if this marriage isnt real? What are our friends going to say? What is your boss going to say? What is the public going to say? No, no, no. Dont make me think about that Yi-Jung. I dont want to. I dont want to consider anyone else. If I consider anyone else, Im going to stay married, and get my heart broken. Again.

Well...well... Well stay married. YiJung! We cant. Hows it going to look if youve married a commoner, with a bad job? Who said you had a bad job? Youre a teacher. Thats a noble job, GaEul. And, have you looked at your best friend, recently? She was a commonerwho cared when they got married? No one. But But what? GaEul, its the only way. We have to do this to keep our lives. My parents havent met you." Ill meet them soon enough. I dont think theyll object to you marrying one of the worlds most famous artists. But GaEul. He interrupts, Will you stay married to me? Chapter Ten All I could hear was my own heart beating loudly in my chest. I couldnt hear the television blaring in the room, the neighbors listening to music, or the traffic outside. Everything was blocked out as soon as YiJung asked me to stay married to him. Time seemed to stop. I knew I had to agree. He was right. If we had an annulment now, my parents would be upset, my friends would be upset, and who knows what would happen at my job. Id probably get firedI dont think parents would want such an irresponsible girl teaching their children. But, agreeing to this marriage also puts me out in the open. YiJung broke my heart five years ago, and while Ive been okay, Im not sure Ive ever actually gotten over it. I dont want to get my heart broken all over again. I dont think I could recover from that. Ill just have to take extra precautions... GaEul? Are you there? YiJung snaps his fingers twice in my face. Did you hear me?" Uh, yeah, I stutter. I, uh,...will stay married to you... Sheesh, GaEul. Could you have been any less excited about your answer? Oh well. At least YiJungs face looks ecstatic. Whoo me. Im saving his career. But! On some conditions! I start pacing around the room, trying to think of everything. Of course. He grabs a notebook from the top of my desk, and pulls a pen out of his pocket. Good. Im glad hes thinking along the same lines.

Since were staying married for the public, lets set an ending date. He nods his head. Does a year and a half sound good? Fine. I say. YiJung writes that down. I want us to find our own apartment. I cant live in your house. Why not? His face is all scrunched up in confusion. Its kind of cutedont think that GaEul! Its your house. I wont ever feel comfortable there. Besides, its far too big. Id be lost for days. Alright. But we get at least two bedrooms. Duh. Considering one bed is what got us into this mess, separate rooms are necessary. Is that it? Im not going to cook everyday. Okay. I like cooking. I pause in my pacing to stare at YiJung blankly. You like cooking? I ask. Is that so strange? Frankly, yes. Ive never known you could cook. You never asked. Oh. Touch. What else do you want GaEul? Um...., This needs to be good. Think! A dog! I blurt out. A dog? YiJung looks skeptical. Why not? Theyre cute, and Ive never had one! A dog, YiJung. Okay, we can get...a dog. I do a little happy dance in the living room. Call me nuts, but Ive had this dream since I was little of owning a Dalmatian. Maybe I saw that Disney film one too many times, but Ive always wanted one, and to walk down the street with people staring, wondering who that cute girl is with the Dalmatian. I realize that YiJung can actually see my dance, and I stop. Hes on the verge of bursting out laughing, I just know it. Youre so easy to please, GaEul, he says teasingly. Ive got three more things to add to the list. Shoot. I got my wishes, so he gets his. You potty train the dog. Eww...but okay. I nod. That makes sense.

We stay out of each others lives. What now? Hm? We live together, and act married in public, but at home were just roommates. I do what I want, and you do what you want. Like watching dramas, right? "HEY! Theres nothing wrong with that! Jerk. I never said there was. He smirks at me. Stupid jerk, making fun of me. I dont see whats so wrong about watching two or three shows a week. Im sure hes got something he loves that hes embarrassed about, too. Ill just have to figure it out. Whats the other one? I ask. He falters before he responds. No falling in love. It...didnt work out before, and it wont this time. This is just an act. This is just an act. I repeat. Of course its just an act. Like I said before, he really hurt me last time. I dont want to go through that again. YiJung writes the last two conditions on the paper, and we both sign. Our marriage is now official. So, what do we do now? We sit on the couch side by side, still slightly in a daze. I mean, we only decided ten minutes ago to stay married. I officially have a husband now. Weird. For starters, we need to get rid of these annulment papers. After a year and a half, theyre not going to work anymore, he says. Check. Secondly, lets call our friends and family. Its probably best to hear it from us. Check. Tomorrow well go look for an apartment? Check. GaEul yang. Are you listening to me? Check. Hee. I am. But, I can have my fun, too. GaEul! He tosses a pillow at me, and I throw it back. Should we get our story straight? I ask. Story? Well, the one on TV isnt going to work out. So, we need something to tell everyone. Since the whole point of us staying married is to save our skins, we need a story.

We just say that we fell in love, and decided to get married. Done. Uh...no. I dont know what you F4 talk about alone, but girls want details. This might be the only instance of lying where more is better. Well start with you groveling, and begging me to give you another chance. He frowns. For a playboy, hes sure doesnt know much about women. Why there? Because otherwise you dont deserve me. And the jerk, he really doesnt. If he wanted me back for real, it would take a lot more than some groveling and begging. No, were talking daily back and foot rubs for life groveling. Fine. What else? We...have been secretly dating for the last six months. Okay. And you proposed on the top of the fake Eiffel tower in Vegas, and then we decided to elope. Really, GaEul? Up there? Thats so cheesy. He sticks out his tongue. What would you have done then? He thinks for minute. I would have driven you way outside the city, up to some remote house that no one else in the city knows exists. Maybe its on the top of a mountain. Wed spend the day relaxing, and then go out for a walk at sundown. When we would come back, dinner would be ready and waiting for us. It would be like nothing you had ever eaten before. Wed go outside, and eat our meal over looking the city. The view would take your breath away. After you had finished, I would have asked, while we sat under the stars. No fancy declarations of lovejust quietly asked you to stay with me forever. There might be a little drool coming from my mouth. Thats how I would have done itif it were real. He says, shrugs and goes into the kitchen to find our food. Well, then. Glad weve settled that, YiJung. Chapter Eleven YiJung and I are just settling into our dinner when both of our phones begin to ring. No surprise there. Ive got a call from, whom else? JanDi. WooBins calling YiJung. He walks into the kitchen to speak to him, and I take my time before answering the call. Hello? I go for the Im completely innocent voice. YAH! GaEul! Whats this on the TV?!? Oh, shes wound up. This isnt going to turn out well. Funny story JanDi... Funny?!? Because Im seeing that youre married to the man you should NOT be married to!!! What

the hell is going on?!?! I might as well bite the bullet. JanDis pissed. If I keep lying, shes only going to get madder. The last thing I need is for her to come over here and kick meor YiJungin the face. Okay. YiJung and I did elope last weekend. We wanted to tell you, but thought it best to keep it a secret for a while. The other line remains quiet. Deathly quiet. I begin to get worried. JanDi? Are you there? What. Did. You. Say? YiJung and I eloped in Las Vegas...? GAEUL! Are you insane?!?!? How could you marry YiJung?!?! I have to hold the phone away from my ear while she yells at me. Hes not right for you GaEul! But Put him on the phone GaEul! Ouch! My ears are beginning to hurt. Uh,...hes on the phone right now. Can I take a message? I try feebly. On the phone?! Coward! She thinks he doesnt want to talk to her? Gee, I wonder why. JanDihes actually on the phone. I cant believe you did this, GaEul JanDi! She continues to yell while I try to interrupt. JanDi! Listen! We eloped, and were sticking with our marriage, okay? You dont have to approve of it, but you have to respect it. WowIm never this blunt with anyone. But But what? Hes my husband now. There was a time I didnt approve of JunPyo, too. But I respected your decision. Please respect mine. Im surprised at myself. Im getting good at this acting thing. Too bad its so similar to lying. ...Im sorry GaEul. Its just a little shocking, especially after what happened last time. She sounds a little more calm now. Well, were working through our problems. Dont worry about me, okay? Hes a good guy. Really. I know. Just give me some time to get used to it, okay? Araso. Call me later. We hang up, and Im already feeling guilty. YiJungs and my truth might be out, but with it comes a whole new bunch of lies to tell our friends and families.

Its to protect them, I tell myself. Were just protecting them. If they really knew what we had done, we would lose it all and have nothing left. By being selfish, were just saving them from heartbreak. Right? I wait for YiJung to finish his phone call. JanDis mad, but at least Im not disowned. Shell forgive me in a week or two. Now to just let my family know. But, how? I dont really want to tell them this over the phone, but if I dont, theyll see it on the news. E-mail? Do they make an e-card for sorry I eloped in Las Vegas to a guy youve never met, and sorry I dont have the courage to tell you in person? I suppose we could just go over to their house, but thats on the other side of town. It would take over an hour to get there at this time of night. Its rude to come over unannounced, anyways. Plus we dont have gifts! You have to have gifts when you visit your parents! Okay. So I might just be making excuses to avoid telling them, but so what? Wouldnt you? YiJung comes back into the living room looking much more frazzled. How did he take it? Uh, he didnt, he scratches his head. Hadnt seen the news. He didnt? Apparently not. He called about borrowing my car this weekend. But, I told him we would get breakfast tomorrow. He asks, How did JanDi take it? Better than expected. But, I dont think Ill hear from her for a couple weeks. And, I might avoid her, if I were you. YiJung grins. That is better. I thought she would come running over to beat me up. Shes not that emotional. He looks at me as if Im insane. Well, anyways. Since were seeing WooBin tomorrow, well tell him then. Okay. Weve got to visit my parents tomorrow, too. After your work? You dont want to tell them now? Is he teasing me? I cant tell. After JanDis reaction, I dont think I can take another like that tonight. That bad? I nod. Sorry. Oh. He was serious. I suppose. Are you going to tell your dad? No. If he wants to meet you again, he can contact us, he paused, thinking. I want to see my mother though. Can we go this weekend? I nod. Of course. Thanks. What time do you start work?

9:30. Ill pick you up around 8:00? I nod and try to smile. Cheer up GaEul yang. This is the best solution, and you know it. And with that, he grabs his coat, and leaves my apartment. Its just me and the food we never finished eating. Funny, Im not that hungry anymore. I am a married woman. Me married. In the course of a week I had gone from completely singlenot even any boyfriend prospectsto married. My life was straight out of some horrible fairy tale. How come we dont find out Cinderella got married to save her job? Stupid prince. I bet he confused Cinderella, too. One minute hot, the next cold. Psh, men are all the same. I see our contract on the table, and pick it up. No falling in love? What kind of condition is that? After what he did last time, does he really think Id want to try again? And does he think hes cool or something? What kind of idiot has to say that out loud and put it on paper? Ugh. I dont want to think about YiJung anymore tonight. Since Im apparently moving soon, I should probably get started on packing up my things. I look around the apartment. Theres not much here in the way of mementos. Ive got a couple paintings hanging on the wall, and three family photo albums on a bookshelf, but thats about it. I guess I didnt have enough time in this apartment to really clutter it. Oh well. It just makes it easier to pack up now. I scrounge around in a closet and find a couple of empty boxes, and start packing. Chapter Twelve WooBin is already at the restaurant when we arrive the next morning. In fact, he looks surprised to see me. I poke YiJung. Did you tell him I was coming? He seems embarrassed. I thought it could be a surprise. Coward! He shrugs and goes to sit down. WooBin slaps him on the back in greeting before walking over to kiss my check. GaEul, I didnt realize you were joining us this morning. A good surprise, though. Hmph. At least someone is a gentleman. We order our food before YiJung begins. Actually WooBin, GaEuls here because we have something to tell you..., he pauses, evidently trying to find the right words.

WooBin looks at us expectantly. Youre not...? Crap. Does he know? YiJung and I nod solemnly. I cant believe youre dating! Congratulations! GaEul, if he treats you badly, just let me know. Dating? He thinks were dating? What, like normal people? Uh, actually...WooBin...were... YiJung tries again. WegotmarriedinLasVegas. It all comes out in a rush. It takes WooBin a minute to process the information. Its kind of fun to see his face go from confusion to shock and to horror. Married?!? His voice is noticeably louder now. Im a little worried people will start staring. What do you mean married? He eyes us suspiciously. Well, I begin, but YiJung cuts me off. I took GaEul up into the mountains, and asked her to marry me. We decided that since we were in Vegas, we might as well elope. He grinds out his words, as if WooBin has offended him deep in his soul. You went to the chapel, and got married? No. With a justice of the peace. YiJungs seriousness now worries me more than people staring. Few get this treatment from him. WooBin stares at us, probably contemplating the odds of us actually getting married. GaEul, you agreed to marry this man? WooBin asks me in disbelief. YiJung grabs my hand, and holds it up for him to see. Were married. Get. Over. It. YiJung like this scares me more than JanDi does. I need to say something. We did get married, WooBin. Im sorry that youre angry, but, we really wanted to do this. I keep waiting for YiJung to let go of my hand, but he hasnt done it yet. In fact, hes using his thumb to trace circles on my palm, and it feels really nice. WooBin looks at YiJung, and then looks at me. He makes me very happy. I smile at my husband. That seems like something newlyweds would do, right? WooBin takes his time before speaking again. YiJungs my brother, but hes kind of an asshole, so let me know and Ill take care of it. I nod again,

and he looks pleased. I always thought youd work things out eventually, so Im happy for you. GaEul, does JanDi have any other friends? I think I might want to get married now. I laugh, Ill ask her next time I see her. Its now that YiJung realizes hes still holding my hand, and he drops it to finish his meal. My palm feels cold now, and I miss the warmth. We eat in peace, and Im glad WooBin didnt take our news badly. Its good to have at least one ally. YiJung leaves me at the school gate. Ill come get you after school, okay? Thanks. I appreciate it. I get out of the car, and look for an alternate route into the school. I really dont want to deal with this. I mean, I will, but if I can avoid Tuuli and TaeSoong today, I will be pleased. Oh TaeSoong. What am I going to do about him? I honestly dont know. I manage to find a clearing in the bushes to hop over the fence. God, this feels like high school all over again. Not that I ever skipped my classes, or anything. Not me. Im lucky enough to avoid seeing anyone while walking across the hallway. Its a good thing tooIm walking on my tiptoes, and sneaking around corners. Id look like a fool if someone spotted me. Chu GaEul report to the Principals office upon arrival. Now it really feels like high school. Again, not that I ever got called into the Principals office. I was a good kid. Truly. I dont even bother dropping my stuff off in my room. Reluctantly I make my way to the Principals office. The receptionist leads me into the Principals office, and I wait for her to say something. I saw an interesting piece on the news last night. Of course you did. Just yell at me, and get it over with. I, I know maam. Im sorry She cuts me off. I suppose this calls for a celebration! Huh? Shes not going to yell? Looking at my confused face, she continues. Well, I would have preferred you told me in person, but youre an outstanding teacher, so this can only lead to good publicity for the school. Oh gosh. Im blushing now. Thank you maam. Why dont you take two weeks off for your honeymoon? We can figure things out more when youve returned. If you return, she laughs. Youre not going to quit, right GaEul? TWO WEEKS? Im even more stunned. Im not getting yelled at, and I get time off?

No, maam. I mean, thank you maam. I mean, yes, thank you for the vacation, and no, Im not going to quit. Thats me, always smooth under pressure. Good! Head on home for the day. When you get back, I expect you and your new husband to take me out to dinner, araso? She smiles, and Im astonished. I get two weeks off just like that? She motions with her hands for me to leave, so I bow and scurry out of the room before bumping into someone. I look up to see who I ran intoHan TaeSoong. He looks heartbroken, and I feel guilty. Annyeong GaEul ssi. Even his voice sounds depressed. Annyeong TaeSoong ssi... This is awkward. He looks like hes struggling to get out his words, but somehow he manages. I, I, I hope youre happy with your new husband. Um, thank you... I hohope he treats you well. Good bye. He bows and walks quickly into the Principals office. That was better than I expected, but poor TaeSoong. It must be quite shocking for him. I hope he can find someone to love him. I walk out of the school just as the children are beginning to arrive. They smile and wave, and I do the same in return. Its going to be strange not seeing their faces everyday. Actually, I think this is the first vacation Ive ever taken from school. Ive worked here for three years now and I havent had a day off. Theres been no reason to. I suppose getting married is as good as any reason to take a vacation, right? The bus stop is just around the corner, but before I get there, a car honks at me. I look around and see YiJung waiting. The jerk. Hes planned this! He pulls over and I get in the car. Work over so soon? He looks exceedingly pleased with himself. Did you plan this YiJung? Maybe. Isnt your husband clever? He is pleased with himself. I cant miss so much work! Yes you can! You got married, and have to move. The Principal thought it was a great idea. She said you work too hard anyways. He sticks out his tongue and drives off. Where are we going? I ask. Apartment hunting. Chapter Thirteen

Apartment hunting? I ask. Yep. It might take a while to find a good one, so weve got to start now. At a red light he reaches to the seat behind me, and hands me a newspaper. Were seeing the circled ones today. I read the circled ads; there are only five of them. Some of the apartments sound interesting, and others just sound ridiculous. Who needs a six-bedroom apartment? Does he think were going to have all our friends move in with us? Here we go. YiJung pulls into a large apartment complex. Which one is this? The three bedroom, two bath. I glance at the paper and see the monthly rent. Its more than I make in a month. YiJungdoes it have to be so expensive? Why not? Because I cant afford this, and I dont want to mooch off of you. He seems to read my mind again. How does he do that? Its okay GaEul. Whats mine is yours. He walks into the building, leaving me with my mouth open on the sidewalk. Does he mean that? This is just for show. Theres no reason for him to share anything with meits part of our separate lives clause. I march into the building, ready to have a word with YiJung, but hes already charming the landlord. She takes us up to the apartment, and its as beautiful as expensive. Worth every penny, Im sure. It opens onto an enormous living room with windows over-looking the city and river. The kitchen is off to one side, while the bedrooms and bathrooms are on the other. Truthfully, it looks like the inside of YiJungs houseif it were thirty stories above ground. Not surprisingly he seems enamored of the place. I try picturing myself living here, and it just feels out of place. Maybe because its so expensive, Id feel like an eternal guest here. The landlord returns downstairs to let us think it over. Do you like it? Hes leaning against the window looking down at the ground. You do. I reply. Yeah. But I didnt ask that. Its...nice. I finish lamely.

You dont like it. He says it as if it wasnt a question. I dont know. Its just...too expensive. That doesnt matter GaEul. Yes, but Id like to help out. Thats not in the contract. What? We didnt say that you had to help pay for things. I made a mistake, and Im taking responsibility. Even though I know he didnt mean it this way, his statement infuriates me. Does he think I cant take care of myself?! This was our mistake YiJung. My voice is low. We both need to take responsibility. I think my response takes him by surprise. I hardly ever get worked up like this. Im going to help pay for things. Im going to take half the responsibility. I dont want to fight with him again, but Im not going to walk all over him. Just because hes rich doesnt mean he gets to pay for everything. I have my pride too, YiJung. He examines my face, checking to make sure Im not joking. Alright. Good. I let my shoulders relax a little. Im a little taken aback that he gave in that easily. Lets go see a different place. We walk out, thank the landlord, but tell her we wont be taking the apartment. The second apartment is in the middle of downtown in a building maybe ten years old? I can never tell. Three bedrooms, three baths; a little too large I think, but I go inside anyways. The rent is more manageable. Once we step inside the apartment, however, I know exactly why the rent is manageable. The walls are paper-thin. YiJung and I can hear everything going on outside, and nothing inside the apartment. It took him three tries before I understood him asking me what I thought of the apartment. So, we quickly decided we couldnt live there. Onto the third place! The next one is in a much smaller, older building. Its only a couple miles from where I live now, but Ive never noticed this place before. Maybe its magic? You can only see the building if you know its therejust like the wizard bar in Harry Potter. This landlord is friendly, and he reminds me a little of Santa Claus. He has a short white beard, and a big round belly, which he seems proud of. Or, he just tells me about drinking vodka with Russians thirty years ago, while rubbing his belly.

He takes us upstairs, and tells us he used to live in this apartment. It has just two bedrooms and one bath, but its on two stories. The master bedroom is on the second. From the moment we walk in, I know I want to live here. The place is charminghardwood floors, brick walls, a bright sunny kitchen. Everything is antique and I feel like I had stepped into 1940. I peek at YiJung, but his face doesnt tell me anything. We walk upstairs to the master bedroom, and the view isif anythingbetter than the larger apartment. Its only on the fourth floor, but we can see the entire neighborhood. At first the view is nothing special, but when you look closer you realize how special it is. We can see the shops with people working to make a living, the children playing in the schoolyard, and the old couples walking in the park, enjoying life. Its beautiful. YiJung looks at me, and we know that this is the place. He takes my hand and squeezes it once before telling the landlord we want to move in. It feels all too natural holding his hand, and that worries me. The landlord goes downstairs to get the paperwork, before YiJung speaks. I didnt know you liked this style of house." I dont, I guess. But theres something about this apartment I love. Me too. He answers quietly, but I hear his response anyways. I let my fingers dance over the wood countertops. Theyre rough, and feel like theyve seen all too much cooking in their life, but I like it anyways. Its so old-fashioned, and Im sure were going to discover a million things wrong with the place, and it will give us many headaches, but it feels right. We want to live here, and well figure out together how to fix the problems. YiJung breaks the silence again. Do we really have to see your parents today? I laugh. I think so. Im a little surprised they havent called yet, yelling at me for not telling them before the news came out. He pouts. I dont want to get hit. Baby. You were the one you said, I imitate his voice, theyll be glad their daughter married a worldfamous artist, and I stick out my tongue, taunting him. Pah. I never said that, he denies. Uh-huh, sure. Im about to say continue my teasing when the landlord coughs, letting us know hes come back. You must be newlyweds, he says. The only time I see such banter is when two people are in young love. Young love?

YiJung just smiles and asks for the paperwork. He starts filling it out, while I chat with our new landlord. When did you get married? He asks. Just last weekend, actually. We decided to elope in America. America? Ive never been there myself. Is it as big as it seems on television? I nod and he grins. I think our landlord is a sweet old man; its going to be nice having him around. YiJung calls me over, and I sign a couple of papers. There, YiJung says as he hands the papers back to our landlord. Welcome to the building, he says. When do you plan on moving?" Well probably start moving in tomorrow, and finish by the end of the week. Great! Just let me know if you need anything. We thank our landlord before he leaves. Welcome home, GaEul. YiJung says. Chapter Fourteen Weve gotten back in YiJungs car and are on our way to my parents house. Im more than a little nervous. They didnt call last night, and they havent called at all today. Did they not see the news? No, thats not possible. My mother watches the news every night after dinner, and my father reads the newspaper. I didnt check today, but I bet theres something in the paper about our marriage. Are they so angry that they dont even want to see me? Im not sure. I didnt have the nerve to call them and let them know we were coming, but I know theyll both be home. My father always has the afternoons off, and my mother has a tailor shop next to the house. At least YiJung and I stopped to buy some presents. Weve got everything here, flowers, dinner, a new bracelet for my mother, and a box of cigars for my father. Hopefully this will count towards something. YiJungs face also looks nervous. I dont talk about my family too much; there have never been any problems between us, but I dont live at home anymore. My life doesnt revolve around my family anymore. So, hes flying blindly right now. While we were out shopping for presents, he kept asking me what their personalities were like. Hm. My parents personalities. Im not sure how to describe them. My mother is a lot like me, and my father is more serious. But, then again, Im serious. Sometimes. We pull into my parents driveway, and wait a couple of minutes before getting out. I feel as if my heart is going to beat out of its cage, and Im sure YiJung can hear it. I can hear his beatingIm almost glad were both so anxious. Were in this together.

I knock on the door, and my father opens. GaEul! He seems happy to see memaybe he doesnt know. I didnt know you were coming over today. Come inside! He motions for us to come in the house. Sorry Abonim for not calling before we came over. Ah, its alright. Youre our daughter, so theres no reason to call. Lets get your mother in here, okay? He shouts for my mother, and she walks inside a minute later. GaEul! What a pleasant surprise! Please come sit! She sits down on the couch before she notices YiJung. Oh, whos this? Cue my heart pounding. Um...thats what I wanted to talk to you about. YiJung bows and hands my mother our gifts. Annyeonghaseumnigga Mother, Father. My name is So YiJung... He pauses and gives me a look as if hes not sure whether or not he should tell my parents who he is. My mother reluctantly takes the gifts, and looks at me expectantly. Omonim, Abonim, YiJung is my...husband. My hands are fidgeting. I want my parents to say anythingthey can yellbut just say something. This silence is the worst. My father opens and closes his mouth several times. He doesnt know what to think. Im sure he thinks its great Im married, but to a complete stranger? Yikes. Not exactly what my parents have in mind. Or, any parent, for that matter. Its my mother who speaks first. GaEul, are you pregnant? PREGNANT? NO! YiJung and I both scream. Why ever not?!? My mother hits me, and looks to YiJung sternly. Im not getting any younger. Half the mothers from GaEuls class have grand children already, she looks him over, You look fit. Im sure youre up to the job, so I expect one by the end of next year, okay? WHAT? GRANDCHILDREN? OH SHIT. Omma! Its too early to think of children! She gives me the evil eye before I can continue.

Its never too early for grandchildren! Do you know what I have to endure at the supermarket??? All of our neighbors look down on me! I need my grandchildren! I just know theyre thinking Im so sad because I dont have any grandchildren to spoil! Appa! Can you talk some sense into her?!? YiJung is snickering next to me. Stupid boy. I bet hes enjoying this now. Thankfully, my father feels the same way. Its too early for grandchildrenwe dont know YiJung yet. I get one more glare from my mother, but she shuts up. My father looks kindly to YiJung and asks, what do you for a living? I am an artist. This earns a tsk from my mother. You cant be very successful as an artistdo you have a backup plan? Backup plan? Do they really not know who he is? How could my parents have gone six plus years without knowing So YiJung? Omma Hush GaEul. Im speaking to your husband. Omonim, I, actually He tries speaking, but I cut in. Omma! Hes a very famous artist! So YiJung! So YiJung? So YiJung? My mother thinks for a minute. Ah! Got it! We saw you on TV yesterday! My father shouts. Er,... YiJung doesnt know how to respond. My father begins to realize, that with YiJung being the famous artist on TV comes with it a whole bunch of other things. WaitGaEul. Does this mean you were the unnamed bride? And that this YiJung is the playboy? Er,... Now Im not sure how to respond. GaEul! How could you marry a playboy?! My father shouts at me, and he almost never does that. Ive been the easy child. Yobo! YiJungs a very famous artist; you remember from the TV, right? Wait. My mother is coming to my defense? Yes! But! But!" Abonim, I would never do anything to hurt your daughter, YiJung jumps into the conversation, thank God. To tell you the truth, TV reporters always exaggerate things. I might have made mistakes when I was younger, but Im a changed man now. Please let me have a chance of happiness with your daughter

shes everything to me. Wah, YiJungs really selling this. I should get him to give me acting lessons. My mother grabs YiJungs hands and shakes them vigorously. Of course you may have GaEul, but do promise me to have some grandchildren, okay? And with that, I know the conversation is over. YiJung, my mother, apparently, and I have won. My father is almost won over, and hell get there. Now, what did you bring us GaEul? My mother digs into the bags happily. YiJung catches my eye and he looks exhausted already. Hm. Maybe thats the reason few people meet my family. Theyre just too much for the average person. Ha. Welcome to the family, So YiJung. Chapter Fifteen We manage to escape my parents house sometime after dinner, and for that, I think YiJung is grateful. My father took him into this shed and showed him every single one of his tools. He did that to me once, and I nearly died of boredom. I cant imagine YiJung has much more of an interest in power tools than me. He drops me off in front of my apartment, and lingers for a minutealmost as if he wants to come up. But, he doesnt say anything and instead drives off into the distance like the mysterious cool guy he is. Did I say cool? Er, not cool. Definitely not cool. Still, I have to give him some credit for handling my parents as well as he did. He was very polite and helped my mother put out the dinner we brought, and he cleaned up too. If I have to be stuck in a fake marriage with someone, Im glad its someone like him who can act well. Ive just gotten back into my apartment when my phone rings. Its JiHoo. I heard some interesting gossip today, he says. JiHoo, you never gossip. But this is really good. It seems two of our good friends eloped. I laugh. Did JanDi tell you? Oh yes. It was all she could talk about today. She felt pretty bad for yelling at you, but I dont think shes quite ready to apologize. Its understandable. Are you going to tell anyone what really happened? Damn, JiHoo. Why are you so good at finding the wounds and then poking them? Hm? I feign innocence. GaEul, we both know what really happened.

YiJung and I need to save a little face, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear? Pretty much. We both laugh. So youre really going through with it? This marriage? Yeah. Dont laugh, but,...we made a contract. Theres a snort on the other end. Yah! I said no laughing! Sorryits just so clich. Whos idea was it? Mine... Naturally. Whats that supposed to mean??? Nothing. JiHoo,...youre on thin ice. Then let me make it up to you. How? I dont know. What do you need? I look around and see the half packed state of my messy apartment. I need boxes. Lots of boxes. And hands to help put stuff in these boxes. GaEul, are you asking for my help packing? Yes. He laughs. You dont beat around the bush, do you? I can see why you and JanDi get along so well. I can be there in thirty minutes, sound good? Thank you JiHoo Sunbae. We hang up, and I continue packing. For a girl who doesnt have a lot of stuff, I have a lot of stuff. Im just finishing up my bedroom when JiHoo knocks. Hes got a stack of un-folded boxes underneath one arm, and a bag of popcorn packing material in the other. Ive never been inside this apartment before, he says as he drops his stuff on the floor. Yeah, well, it looked nicer before I had to suddenly move out. Have you told your landlord? I nod. Did it earlier today. She was a little annoyed I didnt give her much notice, but I know a few people who want to move. Good. He examines my old home. You know, this apartment doesnt seem like you.

What do you mean? Its too modern. I laugh. You should see the one YiJung and I rented today. I will. Its very old-fashioned. Im not sure theres plugs for the internet. Dont tell YiJung that. He grins as he starts putting books into a box. Heh. Youre lucky you dont have to live with him. I know that. We both smile and pack in silence. I start wondering why I never got to know JiHoo before now. I guess its always been because he belonged to JanDi. She got JiHoo and JunPyo, and I got WooBin and YiJung. Except that I dont own either of them. My thoughts are disturbed by another knock on the door. There shouldnt be anyone coming over. Maybe my landlord? Coming! I call, and run over to open it. JiHoo continues packing boxes, whistling quietly to himself. I open the door, and see YiJung holding a pile of boxes. I thought you might want some help packing, he says. YiJung looks inside and spots JiHoo already working away. Crap. I guess youve got some... His voice trails off, and I cant tell if hes upset or angry. His eyes remain cold and fixated on my face. JiHoo looks up, senses the tension, and says, Ill go. He finds his coat half buried underneath old magazines, and walks quickly between us. I dont get a chance to say goodbye. Im trying not to break YiJungs gaze. YiJung is the first to break it, and walks into my disaster zone of an apartment. I didnt know you and JiHoo were such good friends. His voice gives him away this time; hes angry. Were not. He called to tell me about JanDi, and offered some help. I didnt realize this was a problem. A problem? LookI dont want to fight with you. And I really dont. We had a good day. We found an apartment together, and he was nice enough to get work off for me. I dont need this kind of ending. Fight? Unfortunately, YiJung isnt currently reading my thoughts. You were in your apartment alone with another man! Whos one of your best friends! I dont understand why this is such a big deal to him! What if a reporter saw?

Have you seen the news today? They dont know who I am! But they will! But not today! What if he likes you? He looks concerned. JiHoo doesnt like me. I think he might. Maybe his thing is wanting women he cant have. That was crossing the line. Dont you think thats the pot calling the kettle black? This is quickly spiraling out of control. I dont know if I can stop myself. Or want to. He takes two steps closer to me, and I can see the frustration in his eyes. Excuse me? I repeat myself. JiHoo wanting taken women. Pot calling the kettle black, YiJung. He steps closer to me, and I stand my ground. If he wants me, he can come and get me. Im not afraid. Well, if you havent noticed, Im married now, snarls YiJung. Thats going to stop you? Dont think I dont remember why the separate lives clause of our contract was put there. He stops walking towards me, and I can see his face is visibly shaken. You think? He asks daringly. I want to stop, but I cant help myself. The words pour out before I can even really consider what Im saying, and when I have, its already too late. I dont think. I know. As soon as I say the words, I want to put them back in my mouth, and swallow them so they go back where they belong. I suddenly feel dirty. I want to take the hottest shower possible and wash off my sins. I want the hot water to burn my skin and away these words. And yet, I know no amount of scrubbing is going to get my skin clean. I cant wash this away. YiJung stands guarded; his eyes bore into mine. Instead of their usual emotionless state, his eyes are full of hurt. Hurt caused by me. I cant tear my gaze from his. I cover my filthy mouth with my hands as the tears well up in my eyes. IIm so very sorry. I want to speak louder, but a whisper is about all I can muster. My strength seems drained. Is that what you really think of me? He asks with disgust before turning around and walking out the door. I shake my head furiously, but I cant speak. Instead I softly fall to the ground. I cant stand up. I cant

run after him to apologize. I cant pick up the phone and call repeatedly. I cant beg him to forgive me. I cant tell him I didnt mean it. I cant tell him how happy our day made me. I cant tell him that I take it all back. I cant. I cant. I cant. All I can do is sit here, crumpled, like a useless piece of paper, and cry. Chapter Sixteen I feel like shit the next morning. I dont know how to fix any of this. Im still sitting in the same spot, and I feel paralyzed. I havent finished packing, and I havent eaten any breakfast. I cant seem to get up. My mind keeps replaying the scene. The awful, hateful words we said to each other. My disappointment at his lack of trust. His disappointment at my lack of trust. No. How hurt his face looked after I said those words he didnt deserve. I cant get that face out of my mind. I have never seen him so hurt before yesterdaynot even after EunJae. What can I do to make it up? I dont know. Ive never done anything this bad before. His face. Its going to take a lot for him to forgive me. Things arent going to improve if I stay on the floor forever. I slowly peel myself off the ground, and go look in the mirror. Black mascara rings under my red, raw eyes with dirty hair to boot. Its some consolation to me that I at least I look as dirty as I feel. I turn the shower on, and just let the water run over my body. I want to stay here until I forget what I said. Thats not going to happen for a while. My cell phone rings while Im standing here, but I dont get out of the shower to answer it. Its not YiJung calling, thats for sure, and hes the only person I want to talk to right now. I need to talk to him. I need to start begging for his forgiveness. I dont step out of the shower before all of my fingers and toes are appropriately pruney. I throw on whatever clothes arent already packed. I dont notice what they are, or if they even match. It doesnt matter. But, after I get dressed, Im still not sure what to do. My body feels tired and sluggish, and I dont think its because of the long shower. I decide to start small, and finish packing the box in front of me. My landlord here told me Ive got until Saturday to be moved out, so I need to work on this. After I finish the first box, I decide to pack just one more. And then another. And the next. Pretty soon Ive finished packing everything.

It doesnt make me feel better, but at least Ive accomplished something. My apartment seems so insignificant now. It was just a place to hold my belongings. It wasnt a home. I was hoping to start a home with YiJung. I call a taxi, and pile in as many of my boxes as I can. I give him the address of the new apartment without really thinking about it. I just want to get out of the old apartment. I dont want to remember it anymore. Throwing a few bills at the taxi driver, I stack the boxes I cant carry, and start lugging everything upstairs. Its a little difficult by myself, but I manage. The apartment doesnt feel as warm as it did yesterday. Or, is that just my mood? Im not sure. I look around my new place. The kitchen is empty. I can unload my dishes and silverware. Thats something else I can accomplish today. In the back of my mind, it occurs to me that YiJung and I never discussed who was bringing what to the apartment. Well, its too late now. My cheap dishes are herewere using them. I finish putting them in the cupboards, and look at the remaining stuff I brought. Clothes, bedding, photos. I look at the two bedrooms. YiJung can have the bedroom upstairs. I should let him get as far away from me as possible. Grabbing my clothing, I lug it into the downstairs bedroom. Its a little smaller, and doesnt have as nice a view, but I like it. Unfortunately, theres nothing to put my clothing in. My last apartment came furnished. This one does not. Sigh. Theres goes last months paycheck. I reluctantly grab my purse, and am about to go find a furniture store when YiJung walks in. He looks taken back; I dont think he expected to see me here today. Or see me at all. It takes me a few minutes to find my voice. Hello. He nods once in my direction, but doesnt say anything. His expression is that of a little boy whos puppy has just been kicked. Im so, so sorry YiJung. I feel like Im just repeating clichs, but what else can I do? Ive got to start from somewhere. You have nothing to apologize for. He just sounds distant. Wheres the vibrant YiJung from yesterday that I lo Yes. Yes, I do. What I said was completely out of line, and even though I didnt mean it, I still said it. But you did mean it.

I wasnt thinking YiJung. We started arguing, and you picked on JiHoo, so that was what I came up with to fight. It wasnt fair of me. Youre nothing like that. Thats your father. Not you. His expression softens a bit. I dont what I can do to fix this, I continue, but I want to. I need to. Its going to take some time, but I dont know what I can do other than apologize over and over again and try to prove that I didnt mean it. Because I really didnt mean what I said YiJung, and Im so sorry that I did say it. It was such a lovely day, and I ruined it. Day with JiHoo? No! With you! I had fun yesterday, finding this place, and seeing my parents. He nods, but doesnt respond. Look, Ive started moving things over this morning. I brought my dishes and silverware, but I dont have any furniture, so Im going to head out to the store. Ill be back later this afternoon. If youre not here when I get back, I understand. You need time. Im just about to head out the door, when he quietly speaks. I meant what I said. Huh? About taking responsibility. Okay. I would never do that. I know. The tears start welling up again, but Im determined not to cry. Do you? Yes. Youre nothing like that, and Im sorry that I thought that for even a second. I didnt mean it. I just put it in the contract to protect me, GaEul. He says it quietly, almost as if he is embarrassed. It takes me a minute before I figure out what hes talking about: the separate lives clause. What is it supposed to protect him from? I dont understand. I watch as he walks into our kitchen and wait for an explanation that he never gives. Hey. What? Everything in heres ugly. He pokes at something in the kitchen, but I cant see what. Whats ugly? Your plates.

I sense that hes not so angry anymore. Or, at least hes trying not to be. I can meet him halfway. Yah, there are nothing wrong with them. They work. Theyre clean. He picks up one, as if in doubt. GaEul, there are ducks on the plates. So? Theyre cute. A man cant use these. You want something else? I ask. Yes, please. I nod. Aright. I move towards the door. Im going shopping, Ill be back in a while. YiJung attempts a smile. I pause inside the doorway, and turn around, hoping. You dont want to come, do you? I ask. He considers, but shakes his head. I need to pack up my things. Okay. Well, things arent repaired, but theyre better. Its a start. Chapter Seventeen Ive just arrived at a store when YiJung texts me. What are you buying? I reply that I need furniture, and we apparently, need new plates. He calls a minute later. GaEul, Ive got all these things at home. Yeah, but I need to contribute. Its half my responsibility, remember? But that doesnt make sense when I already own a bed, plates, couch, table. Please YiJung. I feel terrible about what I did. I cant let myself walk all over you. Its not walking all over me. I need to contribute somehow. Fine, he huffed. Buy the plates and bed. But thats it. If youre still feeling guilty when you get back, you can make the dinner tonight. Tonight? Why tonight? Is there something special?

Uh...? Arent you going to stay in the new apartment tonight? I wasnt planning on it, I say truthfully. Oh. He sounds a little disappointed. I can Ok. Good. Just buy the bed, plates and food. Ill get the rest. And in usual YiJung fashion, he hangs up before I can say anything else. The store Im inside is enormous. I think it might take up an entire city block. How are you supposed to find anything in a store as big as this?!? I try searching for a salesperson, but I dont see anyone. Its just packed with people like me. Ahhhhhh After searching for nearly twenty minutes, I find a lone saleswoman sitting in a corner, looking slightly afraid of the crowd. Excuse me, can you please help me? She looks up, and purses her lips before saying yes. Where can I find plates and beds? She checks a map in her pocket. Okay. If the salespeople dont know where things are located in a store, its too big. Thankfully, the map knows the answers. Beds on floor five, section three, and dishware on floor two, section seven. Thank you for coming in. She moves back in her corner, and tries to be unnoticed by the rest of the crowd. Gee, someones sure excited about her job. I make my way to the fifth floor, and have a little trouble locating section three. You would think a section like beds would be easy to find on account of them being so big and all, but nope. Fortunately, there are more salespeople in the section. After examining a number of beds, I find one that seems to match the apartment. Its a white metal frame with a vine designa lot like my wedding ring, actually. After I gasp at the price tag, I tell the salesman Ill take it. In the dishware section, I find some plain white plates with a black rim. Plunking down my credit card, I pay for everything and give the address for everything to be delivered. In the morning, they say. Arguh. Im a little tired afterwards, so I hurry through the grocery store. I pick up a few staples, and figure I can make something with the ingredients when I get back. Maybe kimchi soup? I havent had that in a while. Opening the door to the apartment, Im surprised to see YiJung still here. I thought for sure he would be gone.

Im even more surprised to see YiJung standing on aourdining table, covered in paint, and trying to reach the top of the ceiling with a paint brush. Yah! I yell. Youre going to fall and break your neck! He turns around and seems just as surprised to see me. Back so soon? He turns back and continues to paint. Its been four hours, YiJung. What are you doing? Painting. I see that. He pauses, and turns back to look at me. I was hoping this would be done by the time you got back, he says. Its an apology, of sorts. Im sorry I yelled yesterday, too. JiHoos my friend, and youre not like that either. It wasnt fair of me. Oh. He looks sheepish. I should probably accept his apology, right? Um, thank you. Its a nice color. Theres something else for you in your room. I set the groceries on the ground, and peek in my room. YiJung has placed a dresser inside for my clothes. Its a deep dark wood, and looks to be antique. Im not sure what to say; its really thoughtful of him. Thank you YiJung; its beautiful. He shrugs. Did you buy a bed? I nod. But it, and the new dishes wont be delivered until tomorrow. Where am I going to sleep? He grins mischievously at me. Theres always room upstairs. Okay. Its official. Weve made up. Ha ha. Good joke, YiJung. Im going to go make that dinner. On the duck plates. I stick out my tongue and walk into the kitchen. YiJung calls after me. What are you making? Kimchi soup. I hear him cheer in approval, and I get started. The soup is nearly done half an hour later when I hear a finished! from the living room. I walk back out, and YiJung looks like hes swallowed a canary, hes so proud. The room is now a deep grey-blue color, and it offsets our dark hardwood floors. This is the first painting Ive ever done; it looks good, right? It looks really good, YiJung. Youre a natural. And it does. He hasnt spilled any paint on the floor, or gotten any on the ceiling. I think I like wall painting. Maybe Ill do some more tomorrow. Want a different color in your room?

Hm...sure. But I get to help too. Okay. Well go find paint tomorrow. He smiles and asks, Now, when are we having dinner? Ah! Just a couple more minutes. Want to grab some plates for me? Let me clean up first. I look him over; as well as hes done painting the wall, he hasnt done such a good job keeping the paint off himself. Its all through his hair, and I think his clothes are ruined. Thats probably a good idea. I laugh, and he disappears into the bathroom, and comes back looking only moderately better. Youre going to have to work harder than that to get rid of the paint. I keep laughing as hereluctantlygrabs the duck dishes to use for dinner. I set it on the table, and we sit down to eat. What made you decide to paint? I ask. I dont know. I felt bad after you left, and,...just thought you would like it. He shrugs and takes a bite. Yah! GaEul! Do you know how to make kimchi soup?! He reaches for his glass of water, drinks it in one gulp and runs to the kitchen to get some more. Of course I do! It cant be that bad; Im generally a good cook. I take a bite. Shit. This tastes awful. Water! I need water! I hastily drink all of my water, and try to remember what ingredients I used. Store-bought kimchi, peppers, one onion, garlic, tofu, meat, salt, pepper...salt?! Shit. That wasnt supposed to happen. How much did I put in? Three, four? Tablespoons? I cant really remember. Oh God. This isnt good. Now for the bigger question. Do I tell YiJung I made the mistake, or do I blame the store bought kimchi? He returns from the kitchen and looks at our terrible meal. I think hes unsure if he should finish eating it or not. Ha. Hes probably thinking about how upset Im going to be if he doesnt eat it. He reaches for his spoon and I know I need to say something. YiJung, it tastes awful. Dont eat it. Thank God. If I eat more, I might be sick. What did you do??? Uh....store bought kimchis bad? GaEul yang... Okay! I might have been distracted, and added salt. A lot of it. I look at the table in shame, and YiJung starts laughing. Ill go order a pizza. Chapter Eighteen

Twenty minutes later, we are sitting on the floor, having abandoned the table, eating our pizza. Well, maybe eating isnt the right term. More like shoving it in our mouths as fast as our hands can grab the pizza from the box. Hey. I know its not lady-like, but Im starving. Its almost eight pm, and I wanted my dinner an hour ago. At least YiJung is doing the same thing. Hes actually worse off than I; hes managed to drop some pepperoni on his shirt, effectively ruining it even further. Naturally, were not speaking while we eat. No, were no longer madwere just busy with our food. Its pretty comfortable. I finish off my half of the pizza, and wait for YiJung to swallow before I speak. When are you bringing your stuff over here? Mmm..., he thinks, I brought some of the bedroom today, and will see if I can get the living room finished tomorrow. Bringing it from your house? He nods. Of course. Im living here, I want my stuff here. Okay. Since Im on vacation, Ive got nothing else to do so Ill help. Im counting on it. He grabs the empty plates and brings them into the kitchen. I take the empty box and follow before remembering that theres no place to put it. We dont have a trash can. That is usually the case when one has not fully moved into an apartment, GaEul. Still. Just leave it on the counter. Well deal with it in the morning. I shrug, and reluctantly set it down. Dont make fun, but when something like that has been finished, a food item that is, in my mind it becomes trash, and thus dirty. So putting that dirty box on the counter is...ew... I will have to scrub the counters extra clean tomorrow. YiJung sets our dishes in the sinkwe dont have any soap to wash them withand we walk back into the living room. It still smells of paint, despite us opening all of the windows. So..., I say. So..., he replies. Theres not much to do around here right now, is there? There really isnt. Ive just got clothes, a box of photo albums and my bedding here. I havent looked to see what YiJung has, but it cant be much more than that.

I guess not. Its only eight... I vaguely think of calling JanDi and making her come out for a walk, but then I remember shes irritated at me. Understandably so, but Im bored! I want someone to play with! Im trying to figure out what to do when YiJung pipes up. Want to go to the cinema? What? You know. The place where you sit in the dark, only to have magical moving pictures appear in front of your eyes. I know what the cinema is, YiJung. I was asking if you were serious. Im sorry I didnt understand that in your oh-so eloquent one word sentence question there, GaEul. He sticks out his tongue. Mature. Want to go? Why? I squint my eyes. Whats he pulling here? Why not? He shrugs, Its early, were bored, theres nothing to do here, and theres that new film I want to see. Which one? The one with that American. Or, is he British? Anyways, its based on a book. I think. Helpful, YiJung. Um, okay. He smirks and goes upstairs to change his clothes and find a coat. I walk into my room, and have to dig through my suitcases to find mine. I really should have unpacked this afternoon. Tomorrow. Its going on the list. Ready to go? He opens the door, and we walk out. My car is just down the street. We find his car, get in, and drive in silence to the theater. Im not sure which one were headed to, but does that really matter? Once we get to the theater, I see the poster for the film YiJung wants to see. Its a British comedy. I dont know any of the actors, but it looks like it might be entertaining. We stand in line to buy the tickets and I say, Ill get them. YiJung looks at me funny. I asked you to come. Ill buy them. I yelled at you. Ill buy them. I yelled at you too. Ill buy them. You painted the entire living room. My treat. You tried to make dinner. My treat. Hes grinning. Jerk. Hes enjoying this.

YiJung! Let me buy them! No. He sticks out his tongue again, slings one arm around me, and uses his other arm to put a hand over my mouth, quieting me as he walks up to the counter. I try to protest, but the sound is muffled, of course. Well take two tickets, please. He winks at the counter girl, who looks back and forth between us. I wonder if she thinks YiJung has kidnapped me, or something. Reading mine, and the girls thoughts, he adds, The missus wanted to treat me, but shes worked harder than me today; my treat. It was the only way for me to pay. The girl just rolls her eyes, and prints off the tickets. Apparently she doesnt care either way. YiJung takes his arm off my shoulders to find his credit card, and gives it to the girl for a swipe. Getting his card back, he puts his arm back around me, and we walk to our seats. Once seated, he lets go. Yah! Are you crazy?! He just shrugs, and hushes me as the room darkens. Im not so easily stopped, however. What if that girl thought you were kidnapping me?! She might have called the cops! GaEul, people are trying to watch the film. She didnt think I was kidnapping you. Calm down. But! Oops. That might have been too loud. A number of people, sitting in front of us, turn around and glare. I can see YiJung silently giggling, and I make a move to show him my fists as a sign of anger. Wanna die, YiJung? We quiet down and begin the film. Its about a man who fights zombies to win back his girlfriend. Its pretty funny. I think so anyway. YiJung doesnt laugh, but Im not entirely surprised. He may think its funny, and has just decided not to show it. Boys do things like that, Im convinced, to drive girls insane. Dont let them know it works. After the film ends YiJung asks politely whether or not I liked it, and I do the same. After the polite small talk is over, we walk in silence again to the car. He turns the radio on quietly as we drive to the apartment. Its well past eleven now, and Im starting to get tired. Im finally ready to go to bed. Once inside, I make to my smaller bedroom, before YiJung asks, What are you doing? Getting ready for bed. But there isnt a bed in there. So? Ive got my blankets. Itll be like camping tonight. GaEul yang, you cant do that.

Why not? Youll..., he pauses almost as if he were trying to think of an excuse, youll hurt your back! What? Im not eighty years old YiJung! And isnt sleeping on the ground supposed to be good for your back? I think I read that once in a magazine. Or in a book. Im not sure. Dont be such a pabo. Just sleep upstairs. What?!?! No! He frowns. Why not? We are married you know. Fake married, I hastily correct. Right. He says. He frowns again. I cant sleep in the same bed as you. I use my hand and signal the space between us. It would be weird. Were both adults Noits fine. I jump in before he can continue that thought. I dont want to know the answer. YiJung looks at the floor dejectedly. If youre sure Im sure. Good night YiJung. With that, I practically run into my bedroom and slam the door shut. My hand goes to my chest where I can feel my heart beating rapidly. Whats going on? Chapter Eighteen Point Five I call the pizza place while GaEul stares at the floor; I think shes a little upset that her kimchi soup turned out so poorly. Its not her faultokay, it kind of isbut this thing happens. No big deal. I simply order a pepperoni, and offer the delivery guy an extra fifty bucks if he gets it here in less than half an hour. He gets here in less than twenty minutes. There isnt much talking while we eat; GaEul is just as hungry as I am, I think. If Im honest Im glad she can eat a lot. Girls who eat one bite drive me crazy. Who does that??? In my haste to eat some of the pizzaokay, a lotfalls onto my shirt. GaEul laughs a little, but doesnt say anything. Thank you, GaEul. She finishes her last slice of pizza and asks me, When are you bringing your stuff over here? Mmm..., I pause and try to figure out my schedule. I dont think I have anything planned this week. I brought some of the bedroom today, and will see if I can get the living room finished tomorrow.

Bringing it from your house? I nod. Of course. Im living here, I want my stuff here. Does she think Im not actually living here? Shes here, Im here. Period. Okay. Since Im on vacation, Ive got nothing else to do so Ill help. Im counting on it. I take our plates and drop them in the kitchen sink. Damn. I was somewhat hoping they would break. Stupid duck plates. I just know GaEul is going to keep using them to annoy me. GaEul grabs the pizza box and hesitates in the kitchen. We dont have a trash can. And youve only realized this now? That is usually the case when one has not fully moved into an apartment, GaEul. Still. This is bothering her, isnt it? Ha! Just leave it on the counter. Well deal with it in the morning. She shrugs, looks at the counter and me before gingerly setting it on the counter. We walk back into the living room, and I get the chance to admire my painting once again. I spent the entire afternoon working on this, and it looks good. It was fun, too. And GaEul liked it. So..., She says. So..., I reply. Theres not much to do around here right now, is there? She asks. Um, no. We have a table and four chairs in our living room. Ive got a bed and a dresser upstairs, and GaEul has one downstairs. No. Not a lot of entertainment here unless we want to play the worlds worst game of hide and go seek. I guess not. I simply say. Its only eight... Does she want to do something? Why doesnt she just ask me? Silly girl. She loves to make my life just a little more difficult, doesnt she? Sigh. Ill make her happy. Want to go to the cinema? What? You know. The place where you sit in the dark, only to have magical moving pictures appear in front of your eyes. I know what the cinema is, YiJung. I was asking if you were serious. Of course Im serious. Would I ask if I wasnt? Im sorry I didnt understand that in your oh-so eloquent one word sentence question there, GaEul. I stick out my tongue. Want to go?

Why? She looks suspicious. Why not? Its early, were bored, theres nothing to do here, and theres that new film I want to see. Which one? The one with that American. Or, is he British? Anyways, its based on a book. I think. Actually, I know exactly which film I want to see. Im just not sure she wants to see it. Um, okay. Shes acting like she doesnt really want to do something with me. Weird. Im not sure I like it. Ill just go, uh, change my clothes. I point down at my ruined outfit, and she nods. Up in my room I wonder why I invited her out tonight. It just seemed,...right. GaEul and I going out. Did I just ask her out on a date? No, its not a date. Were just seeing a movie as two friends who happen to be married to each other. Its perfectly normal, and its not a date. GaEul is already waiting for me downstairs in the same clothes. See? If it were a date, she would have changed. I walk straight past her and open the door. Ready to go? She nods. My car is just down the street. I would have parked in the building, but I havent gotten the permit yet. Tomorrow. Tomorrow, I will talk to the landlord and get the permit. After weve arrived in the theater GaEul tells me shes going to buy the tickets. I give her a look. Why would she buy them? Its my treat tonight. Even though this is not a date. I asked you to come. Ill buy them. I say. I yelled at you. Ill buy them. I yelled at you too. Ill buy them. You painted the entire living room. My treat. I cant tell if shes enjoying this or not. I am. Maybe she genuinely doesnt like our little fights. You tried to make dinner. My treat. YiJung! Let me buy them! She doesnt want to give up, does she? Well, theres only one way to solve this. I tell her no, before I stick out my tongue, and wrap one arm around her. She looks a little shocked, but then I use my other hand to cover up her mouth so she cant talk. From the part of her face that I can see, she is not pleased. Fortunately, we get to the top of the line. Well take two tickets, please. I wink at the girl working because well, she keeps looking at GaEul and then me, probably trying to decide if Ive stolen her or something. I hastily add, The missus wanted to treat me, but shes worked harder than me today; my treat. It was the only way for me to pay.

Missus? My heart skips a beat. No. This is not a date. The girl working doesnt seem to care either way, and prints off the tickets. I have to take my arm off GaEul to find my credit card. My arm feels a little cold. I get the card back a moment later, and I put my arm back to escort GaEul to our seats. When weve sat down, I have to take my arm off. Yah! Are you crazy?! I shrug, hold my finger to my lips and tell her to hush. The room is darkening, anyways, theres much more time for idle chatter. She, however, doesnt stop. What if that girl thought you were kidnapping me?! She might have called the cops! Did she not see that girls expression? She didnt care at all what GaEul and I were doing. She probably thought it was some kinky role-play. Mmm. Kinky role-play with GaEul... Wait, what? No. GaEul, people are trying to watch the film. She didnt think I was kidnapping you. Calm down. But! She yells this, and some of the other people in the theater turn around to make faces at GaEul. She doesnt try to speak anymore. I try to concentrate on the filmI can tell its funny, but my mind keeps going back to two subjects. Kinky role-plays with GaEul, and whether or not this is a date with GaEul. No on both subjects, right? But...kinky role-plays with GaEul would be fun, and to get there, Id have to go on many, many dates with GaEul. So, this is a first step. I look over at her face. Shes laughing hysterically. She sees me leering at her, and I quickly turn back. No, no. This is not a date. She doesnt think so anyways. If it were, shed be sitting next to me, nervous as all hell. But as it is, shes laughing every thirty seconds at some stupid thing the films protagonist has done. Definitely not a date. So, if she think its not a date, I dont think its one either. Not that I thought it was one in the first place. Nope. Not me. The film finishes; the guy gets the girl and survives zombie attacks, and I ask GaEul if she enjoyed it. What? Friends ask friends if they enjoy a film. Its not just a date thing. GaEul says she does, and then asks me in return. She was just being friendly. We drive in silence back to the apartment. My mind in still deciding if this was a date. Who knows what GaEul is thinking? Rainbows? Ponies? Sunshine? I know what girls think about, but I have no idea what GaEul thinks about. Shes a girl, but shes not a normal girl. GaEul walks to her bedroom door back inside the apartment. What are you doing? I ask.

She looks at me like Im an idiot and responds, Getting ready for bed. But there isnt a bed in there. So? Ive got my blankets. Itll be like camping tonight. GaEul yang, you cant do that. She just cant, okay? Why not? Youll..., Crap. Why cant she sleep in there tonight? Youll hurt your back! Oh no. She looks offended. What? Im not eighty years old YiJung! And isnt sleeping on the ground supposed to be good for your back? Is that true? I dont think thats true. It cant be true. Otherwise, why would we sleep in beds in the first place? Dont be such a pabo. Just sleep upstairs. As soon as I say it, my eyes go wide. What did I just say to GaEul? That she should sleep upstairs? With me? No! GaEul looks just as shocked. Why not? We are married you know. I cant seem to stop my mouth, and I try to rationalize my thoughts in my head. We are married. So, its not a big deal for us to share a bed. And no. I wouldnt dream of doing that to her. Well...I might dream about it. But I wouldnt do it! Fake married, GaEul answers all too quickly. Right. I say. Were fake married. Fake married meaning that theres no reason for us to share a bed. I cant sleep in the same bed as you. She signals between us. It would be weird. Would it be weird? I think it might be comfortable. Were both adults Noits fine. She stops me from continuing my sentence. I look at the floor. If youre sure Im sure. Good night YiJung. She runs into her bedroom, and slams the door. Probably locked it, too. I stand in the living room, dumbfounded. Did I really just ask GaEul to sleep with me? Only for her to reject me? It wasnt a date after all. Chapter Nineteen Im leaning against the door, wondering what exactly has just happened. My heart is going insane; I feel like Ive just run a marathon its beating so fast.

Did YiJung want me to share the bed??? And did I want to? No, no, no, no. I cant sleep with YiJung. So I cant want to share his bed. My heart is trying to tell me otherwise. Its been at least five minutes, and it hasnt slowed down one bit. What is going on?!? I cant sleep with my husband. That got us in this mess in the first place! Why did he ask me anyways? Did he think this was a date? It wasnt a date. He didnt do anything date like. He... ...he paid for the tickets. ...he drove me there. ...and back. ...he put his arm around my shoulder. ...he looked at me while we watched the movie. THIS WAS A DATE!?!? No, no, no, no, no. GaEul. Youre over thinking this. YiJung said before you left that he was just bored. There was nothing to do in this apartment, so he just invited you out as friends. Just friends. Nothing more. Besides, theres the contract to think of. Separate lives. No falling in love. If this were a date, it would lead to both of those clauses being broken. We cant break the contract. Then why is my heart beating so fast? I cant answer the question, so I spread my blankets out on the floor, and try to get some sleep. My hand goes to my heart and listens to it beat rhythmically. Bump. Bump. Bump. Stupid YiJung. This wasnt a date. I did not go on a date with my husband. And stupid heart! Stop beating so fast! Theres no reason to! I want to go to sleep, and not hear you bump. My mind cant let the subject go. YiJung invited me to his room. No, more than that. He insisted on me coming up there. Why? I dont get it.

And I dont understand why this bothers me so much. I should just let it go, but instead my thoughts are of nothing but YiJung... The next morning I wake up stiff, and slightly sore. Who said that sleeping on the floor was good for you?!? Oh, thats right. It was me. And...what else? YiJung. Last night got weird. Again. What should I do now? Should I try to pretend nothing happened? Should we talk about his invitation? What if it was just a joke, and then I try to talk about it? AhhhhI dont want to get embarrassed! I tentatively step out of my room, and see a note he taped to the floor in front of it. Breakfast is in the kitchen. Dont eat too much. Ive gone to get my belongings. Dont eat too much?! That jerk! I ought to punch him when he comes home! Still. He made me breakfast. I walk into the kitchen, excited to see what it is. Leaping around the corner, I see. One hard-boiled egg, and a bagel. At least he set some jam out on the counter for me to use. I guess its the thought that counts. Hmph. I was kind of hoping it was pancakes. I havent had them in ages, and theyre my favorite. I eat my breakfast in quiet, take a shower and get dressed before deciding what to do today. I said I was going to unpack my clothes, and I need to get paint for my room. Plus, at some point my bed and our new dishes are being delivered. Ack. When I list it all out, it sounds like a lot! Checking my receipt, I read that the deliverymen are supposed to come between two and three pm today. Its only ten thirty. Ive got lots of time to go to the store. But, YiJung thought of it first. On the front door, he taped another note. Call me and tell me what color paint to buy. Oh. Okay. Thats nice, I guess. Certainly saves me a trip to the store. I dial my phone. Youre awake. I am, indeed. I saw your notes. Okay. What color should I buy? Youre asking me to make a decision? Oh. I probably should have thought about this before I called. Um... GaEul... Green? Light or dark?

Light-ish. But I want a grey green. Easy enough. Ill be back in half an hour. He hangs up before I say goodbye. I know he does this, but it still annoys me. At least our conversation wasnt awkward. I think hes decided to just ignore his invitation from last night, so I will too. To keep myself busy while waiting for him to come back I unpack my clothing, and then move my dresser into the middle of the room, so we cant get paint on it. I should have thought about moving it before I put all my clothes into it, however. It was rather heavy and difficult to push. I hear YiJung click the lock, and I instinctively jump into my bedding on the floor, and pretend to be asleep. I dont want him to think Ive been waiting for him to return...even if I have. He walks into my room, and I close my eyes shut tighter, really trying to be asleep. Yah. Im not moving. Im not moving. GaEul, wake up. I hear him move, and pretty soon can feel his breath on my face. Hes right next to me. I close my eyes a little bit more and stay still. Ill get up when Im good and ready to. GaEul, I know you're faking it. Get up. He shakes me, and I clutch the pillow. He stops and I relax a little bit. Okay, if you want to sleep you can. But, you wont get your surprise. He moves away from me. Wait, surprise? I stand up. Pride be damned. Surprise, YiJung? He laughs at me and holds out two paint cans from behind his back. Surprise. Thats a stupid surprise. Hmph. I frown, and this just makes him laugh harder. Come on, lets get to work. I take my bedding out of the room, and find some old clothes to put on. YiJung does the same, and we both arm ourselves with paintbrushes before opening the cans. Its exactly the color I wanted. A light pretty green that seems appropriate for a grownup. If I count as one. Thanks for picking it up. Anytime. He starts painting on one side of the room, while Im on the other. We banter a little while we work, poking fun at each other, but Im careful to not mention last night. It goes pretty quickly with two people working, and before I know it weve almost met in the middle. I guess thats how it begins.

GaEul, YiJung says. About last night... I spin around against the wall to face him. We dont have to talk about it. YiJung steps closer to me. If I move either way Im going to get paint all over my back. I stay put. I can feel my heart beat faster. We should. It doesnt matter. He steps closer; theres less than a foot now separating between us. You just trying to be nice. I pause, Im sorry I thought it might have been a date. He pauses and looks me over. A date? He steps closer, and puts his arms on either side of me up against the wall. Im trapped. I cant go anywhere without finishing this conversation. My heart is beating so rapidly Im not sure I would be able to move, anyways. It was stupid. You just took me out as a friend. Everything is moving in slow motion, and Im not sure I can breathe. As a f-friend? He stammers. Dont worry. I wont do it again. He stares at me. I think he wants to say something else, or maybe hes trying to think of what to say. Im not sure. I stare back. And thats when it happens. I was staring, trying to figure him out. He keeps eye contact with me for a moment before closing his eyes and crushing his lips to my own. It takes me another moment to fully realize whats going on. YiJung is kissing me furiously. And Im kissing him back. Before I know it, Im running my hands through his hair. There is nothing innocent or demure about our kiss. Hes pressing me against the wall, and Im holding onto him for dear life. All thoughts and concerns about getting paint on us have been forgotten. Time is stopped. I can only see and feel YiJung against me in the room. About two seconds after we start kissing, his tongue enters my mouth, and I immediately forgive him for all the times hes stuck out his tongue to annoy me. The things hes managing to do should be illegal. He hasnt lost any of his initial passion, but hes trying different things, and my thoughts all head due south. He doesnt move his arms from the wall while were kissing. I almost want him to; I want him to touch me like Im touching him, but Im glad he isnt. Id feel too much like one of his other girls. Here, like this, awkward and without communication, feels like GaEul and YiJung. Its a kiss of two people who have gotten tired of pretending. And its a kiss of two people who have gotten tired of waiting. Its a kiss to make up for five years of missed kisses,...birthdays, weddings, funerals, long days at the office, galas, victories, defeats, emotional highs and lows; every kiss that should have happened back then is happening now.

And then as soon as it began, it is over. The doorbell rings and I break the kiss. His face looks tentative, as if hes not sure if I like what just happened. He closes his eyes and leans his forehead against mine; I can feel his hot, tired breath on my face. There are so many things I want to say and ask. But, I dont get the chance. The doorbell rings again. That will be the deliveryman, I whisper, running out under his arms to answer the door, leaving him alone against our painted wall. Chapter Twenty I stand helplessly in the living room while the deliverymen bring up the plates, and try to piece together my bed. I want to help, but Im just too distracted. One of the men asked me a minute ago if I was feeling all right because my face is so flushed. Yes, its fine. Ive only just gone and had the best kiss of my life, and then you had to arrive and ruin it. And now Im not sure what to do. YiJung stood in my room for a long time, leaning against the wall, but he finally went upstairs when the deliverymen started assembling my bed in the room. YiJung was kissing me. And I was kissing him back. What do I do now? Im not sure how I feel about our kiss. Was it mind blowingly good? Yes. Was it good enough to get me to agree to sleep upstairs? Yes. Do I want more? Yes. Do I think he wants that? I dont know. Does he want a relationship? I dont know. Do I want a relationship? I dont know. Watching him as he walked upstairs, his face looked so unsure. Maybe he regrets the kiss. Maybe he thinks I was rejecting him. I dont know. The men finish putting my bed together, so I thank them and they leave. The plates are stacked on the dining table, so I start putting them in the cabinets, pushing the duck plates aside to make room. Just, gosh. Ive never been in this position before. Im not The door opens, and I see YiJung emerge from his room. My face becomes redder, if thats possible, and he, himself, looks a little embarrassed. Er,...the deliverymen should be arriving with the rest of my things in a little while. He says. Okay. Im just putting the new plates away. I hold one up for him to see. YiJung nods, and smirks. Infinitely better than the duck plates. I try to laugh, and he continues, Im going to just finish up the

painting in your room. Theres not much left. He...didnt say anything. Does the kiss not mean anything to him? Was he really treating me like one of his other girls? Im determined not to let it get to me, though. That seems like something one of his others would do. His deliverymen arrive before we get a chance to speak again. The next couple hours are spent busily moving tables, couches, a television, books, and artworkeverything else we needed. By the time were finished, our apartment looks like a real home, and were both exhausted. I collapse on the couch, and YiJung falls down next to me. We sit quietly, trying to regain our energy. Several minutes go by before I realize that were practically sitting on each other. Do I move? YiJung seems to notice it at the same time as I do; he looks over and my heart starts fluttering again. If this is going to be a usual thing, its going to be a problem. Should I go to the doctor? What would I say? Sorry sir, but every time I look at my husband, my heart starts beating like mad. Is that some sort of disease? Do I, perhaps, have a hole in my heart? As much as were aware of how close were sitting to each other, neither of us moves from the spot. Personally, I feel like Ive turned into a tree, and have put roots into the floor of our apartment. YiJung leans into me, and looks deeply at me. Are we going to kiss again? I close my eyes in anticipation. ...and then nothing happens. Am I disappointed? I dont think I am disappointed. I cant be disappointed. Okay. I am disappointed. YiJung leans further over and plucks a leaf from my hair and laughs. How did that get there GaEul? I shrug. His expression turns a bit more stoic, and he looks at the floor. GaEul, can we go visit my mother tomorrow? Oh. I have been worried about this. Im not sure either of us is strong enough. But, instead I try to put on a smile. Of course. Well go early in the morning so there arent too many people. YiJung stands up. Thanks. Itll...mean a lot to her, and, he adds as an afterthought, to me, you know. I know, YiJung. This is the least I can do for you. His face brightens up again, and he says, Now, how about I make dinner tonight? I readily agree, and offer to help him, but he declines. Its a surprise to make up for a stupid surprise earlier today. I dont mention the kiss, but I thought that was a very nice surprise.

Sprawling out on the couch, I turn on the television. There isnt much on, and I end up drifting off to sleep. In my defense, YiJungsno, ourcouch is really comfortable. He wakes me up some point later. I open up my eyes and his face is nearly level with mine, and almost as close as his was when he kissed me. Not the worst way to wake up, Ill tell you. Dinner, he says. Yawning, I stand up and walk to the table. I dont register what YiJungs made until Im already seated. He made me spaghetti. Its because we didnt get to finish it, the other night. It looks delicious. And it tastes delicious, too. Much better than anything I could have made. He told me that he liked to cook, but I never thought YiJung would actually be good at it. After dinner, I clean up, and we both end up close on the couch again, legs touching, silently watching television. Its some American television show, and as soon as two of the characters start kissing, we both tense up. Talk about an elephant in the room. Unfortunately, the kissing on television doesnt stop, and soon enough the two characters end up in bed. Whoo. Its a little graphic. Im trying not to look at YiJung, and I think hes trying not to talk to me. Which just makes the elephant in the room grow larger. This sex scene is going on for a long time. Woahcan two bodies bend that way? I dont think thats possible. Were these actors in the circus before? The elephant grows larger still, and Im not sure theres enough air for the three of us to breathe. YiJung thinks so too. He clears his throat and says, Um, Im going to go, uh, upstairs now. He tosses the remote in my lap, and hurries upstairs without giving me a chance to say goodnight, or properly thank him for dinner. The couple on screen finally finishes their...business, and I turn off the television. Its only eight thirty, but I need to get to bed. I put on pajamas, and take a moment to look at myself. I briefly wonder if I could bend my body that way. Would YiJung be able to do that too? Would he even want to? Theres an increasingly large part of me that wants to find out. But, these are thoughts for another day. I crawl into my new bed, which is quite cozy Ill have you know, and fall asleep after replaying our kiss in my head a few more times. The next morning, Im in the bath when YiJung starts banging on the bathroom door. GaEul! Hurry up! Ive got to go!

Patience, buddy! Ill be out in a few minuteswait up! GaEul! I need to go now. Cant you just open the door for a minute?! EW! No! I cover up my body just in case he opens the door. Thankfully, he doesnt. Instead he proceeds to whine for the next fifteen minutes, while I finish washing up. Who knew that such a mature man could be such a baby. I step out of the bathroom, completely refreshed, and he streams past me into it. And doesnt reappear for another thirty minutes. I make some simple toast, and juice for the two of us. We quickly eat, and YiJung asks me, are you ready to go? He looks nervous and a little upset. I nod and he takes my hand before we leave. My heart doesnt flutter this time; instead, I just try to look cheerful and we walk to his car. He doesnt talk much about his mother anymore, and Ive always wondered if she was the reason we didnt work out before. I dont blame her, of course, but it was such a series of bad events... Our destination isnt terribly far away; we get there in less than forty minutes. As soon as we step out of the car, YiJung grabs my hand again. I didnt realize this was so upsetting to him; Ill remember it for the future. I squeeze his hand once, and we walk inside. Its a small church. At the very end, next to the altar is a wall of cremations. There cant be more than fifty. We walk hand in hand to a small cremation box on the outside of the wall. YiJung places his free hand on the box, as if he can hear his mother through his hand. Hi Omma. He begins speaking and his voice falters; I squeeze his hand once more, and he continues. This is GaEul, do you member me talking about her? We got married, and she came to see you. Youll love her Omma; shes a lot like you, before you met Appa. He looks at me, and I start talking. Omonim, how are you? Im GaEul, and Im going to take good care of YiJung, okay? Please dont worry Omonim. Your son is so good to me; I want to spend the rest of my life making it up to him. You raised him well, Omonim. The words come out so easily that I wonder if Im no longer acting. YiJung looks the other way, and Im sure there are tears forming. I do the math in my head, it was almost exactly five years ago that YiJungs mother...passed. She had been so sick for so long, and one day, she just couldnt take it anymore. She swallowed an entire bottle of pills, and,...didnt wake up. I remember YiJung; he closed himself off to the world. He wouldnt talk to me, or any of the F4. And then, he...well. He wouldnt let me be there for him back then, but I can be here now. I let go of his hand, and take him in a hug. He leans down in my shoulder and softly begins to cry. Chapter Twenty One

YiJung and I stood like that, in a hug, for nearly an hour in the church. My heart didnt flutter once; he just needed a friend to hold him and tell him everything was going to be all right. I knew this was going to be difficult for him, I just didnt know how difficult it was going to be. We say good-bye to his mother, and I promise we will come back soon. We reach his car, and YiJung does something unexpected. He tosses me his car keys. Will you drive back, please? Im pretty tired. Is he sure? I do have a license, but I dont own a car. My parents dont own a car. And certainly not one that costs four times what I make in a year. Trying not to think about how much this car costs, I start the engine. YiJung has his arm over his eyes, and Im not sure if he wants to sleep or cry again. Were about halfway home when my phone rings. I slip in an earbud, and answer it. Its my motherI really should have screened this. GaEul? What are all these people doing here? What Omma? Im in front of your apartment, and theres all these people there. People? What? What do the people look like? YiJung cocks one eye open and looks at me. I wave an arm at him, trying to say its okay. Doesnt stop him from looking concerned, however. Well,...its hard to say. But, theyve got a lot of cameras. Cameras? SHIT. Theyve found out. YiJung sees my face, and tells me to pull over. I do so. OmmaOmmaOmma! Those are reporters! Get inside the building now, and dont let them know youre seeing us. Ill be up in just a minute. Ah... What, GaEul? YiJung and I arent there right now. Hes hopped out of the car, and has opened the drivers door to take over driving. I get out and switch seats with him. He doesnt say anything, but he puts the car in gear and speeds off. At this rate, well be back in ten minutes. Where are you??? We had an errand to do this morning, Omma. Were on our way backjust talk to our landlord and well be there soon. I hang up before she says anything elsewait. Did I get that from YiJung? The press figured it out. YiJung says. Its a statement, not a question. He doesnt look at me though;

his eyes are fixed on the road. Apparently. Well, shit. I was hoping it would take longer. Yeah, me too. And whats this about your Omonim? Shes, uh,..., I mutter, waiting for us at the apartment. For a moment, Im worried hes going to drive off the road. YiJung grips the steering wheel tighter, and presses the gas even harder. Whats this? I ask. Youre more scared of the in-laws than the press? Yes, he grits. The press just writes things down. The in-laws poke and prod until theres grandchildren. That shuts me up until we arrive home. There are about seven reporters and another half-dozen photographers. Not the worst situation, but...nothing I particularly want to deal with. YiJung feels the same. Dont say anything to them, okay? Theyre scum, and theyll try to bring you down to their level. Dont do it GaEul. I nod, he grabs my hand and we run for the building. As soon as they see us, were surrounded. Questions are being shouted left and right, but I keep my mouth shut. Theyre asking where I went to school, what my family is like, and how I made YiJung fall in love with me. I hear camera shutters go on and off constantly, but theres nothing I can do about that. YiJung tries covering my eyes so they cant see me, but its not much use. Photos are being taken. At least the reporters wont have much of a story to go with it. Once inside the building, we sigh. Sorry, he says. Theyll get bored eventually, but until then... I knew what I was getting into. We walk the stairs to our apartment, where my mother waits for us. Shes dropped her bag on the couch, and is going through our books in the living room. Its about time you returned, she says. I apologize and give her a hug. YiJung looks awkwardly at us; hes unsure if he needs to hug my mother. She, however, makes the decision for him by enveloping him in a great big bear hug. I stifle giggles. What are you doing here Omma? I ask. Well, your fathers out of town tonight,... Oh no. Please no. Dont say it. Just dont do it. So, I thought I could spend the night! NO. YiJung looks like he has a hernia.

Omma...we just moved in! I can help unpack! I gesture around the apartment. Were already unpacked! Then theres no reason I cant stay. She sits down on the couch, and its clear Ive lost this argument. My mother is spending the night. YiJung looks at me, and Im sure hes thinking of all the different ways to kill both my mother and me with the least amount of effort and the most pain. I am too. So,... I begin. How are you, Omma? She ignores me and turns to YiJung. Are you working on the grandchildren yet? He makes a choking noise, and I run over and hit his back. This does not go over well. Yah! GaEul! Im not dying! Sorry. YiJungdont ignore me. My mother is glaring. When am I going to get my grandchildren? Well, Omonim, the thing is...um... He scratches the back of his head, trying to come up with a reason Im not pregnant. My mother would not take too well that were not sleeping together. Shit. Sleeping together. If my mother is staying the night, we have to sleep in the same bed. Before YiJung finishes his sentence to my mother, I grab him and run upstairs. I vaguely hear my mother say, Good GaEul! Go make a baby! Her statement is immediately followed by maniacal laughter. GaEul? What? My mother. Is staying. The night. I grind out my words. Yes. So? YiJung, on last count, how many bedrooms did we have? Two. Whohhhh. He gets it now. Were uh, he motions between the bed, and us going to share. Yeah. Okay. He shrugs, and dismisses the concerns. What? Is this okay with him?!? Did you really think in our marriage contract, we wouldnt have to share a bed once? What if we go on vacation?

Wed uh... Exactly. GaEul, its not the end of the world. Just think of it as practice for when we do go on vacation. My heart leaps. Were going on vacation? He laughs. GaEul, Im an F4. Of course were going on vacation. Oh. I dont know when though. He laughs and walks down the stairs. Hes such a tease! I want to go on a vacation! Upon re-entering the room, my mother off-handedly remarks, that was quick. We ignore her, and I go into the kitchen to make some lunch. Theres not a lot to choose from; I need to do some real grocery shopping. So, bibimbab it is. YiJung and I politely answer my mothers questions while we eat, while trying to deflect any further baby discussion. After lunch YiJung reluctantly agrees to show my mother his pottery studio. We hassle a little with the reporters getting out of the apartment, but we manage to get into his car. I realize on the way over that I havent been here in a while. At least six months. The studio looks mostly the same. Half finished pieces lay everywhere, but one catches my eye. On the counter is a half-painted vase. Its different from his usual style of workit looks like something one could buy at a storebut I like it anyways. YiJung has begun to paint daisies that hes made out of clay and stuck to the outside. Before I get the chance to examine it, YiJung throws a piece of cloth on top. Its not finished, he says, and leads my mother and I to another part of his studio. I think my mother is impressed with YiJung. Shes got a smart, talented, famous and good-looking son in law. Just what every parent wants for their daughter, I suppose. She may not have grandchildren, but I think after seeing YiJungs studio shell have plenty to boast about at the grocery store. She leaves in a much better mood, and doesnt bring up grandchildren again. Not that this entirely moves the notion from her head, however. We sit down to watch a little television after dinner, and shes managed to spread the entire contents of her purse on the couch so that YiJung and I are forced to sit squished on one end. If this is her idea of romantic, I dont want to know what my father did to win her over. Or, visa versa. Ew. The clock hits seven thirty, and my mother practically shoves YiJung and I off the couch. Its getting pretty late, dont you think? Off to bed! Were being shuffled to the upstairs door. Dont worry about tidying upIll take care of itold people dont need nearly so much sleep, you know! Our cries of protest are unheard, and we are stuck upstairs together. YiJungs room is simpler than mine. Everything is black and beige and modern. Too tell the truth, its a little strange for this old apartment, but I dont say anything. If he likes it, then its okay.

Well, that was interesting, YiJung says. Sorry, I apologize. When her mind is set on something, she...doesnt let go. I finish lamely. No, its okay. If my mother were,...here, she would be doing the same thing, Im sure. I nod and sit down on the bed. Which side do you sleep on? I ask, changing the subject. The left. He replies. Okay. Ill sleep on the right. Are you going to sleep now? Its not past eight. What else are we going to do? Well,... he trails off as he begins searching for something in the room. Fifty minutes later were still playing Go-Stop and Im kicking YiJungs ass. Even though were married, it still feels good to take his money. Yah! GaEul! Are you cheating?! Hee! YiJungs is getting frustrated. I suppose I would be too, if I sucked so much at Go-Stop. Youre just jealous of my skills. I stick out my tongue and make a face. He responds by throwing his titles down on the bed. Im done playing. He puffs up and pretends to look sour with me. But, I know better. Araso, araso. I gather up the titles, and put them back in their container. Well play some other time. YiJung digs around in his dresser, finds his pajamas and pulls off his shirt. Oh God! Give me some warning, man! I turn the other way, and wait for him to finish. Which reminds me. Where are my pajamas? I fall over on the bed, as I remember. Theyre downstairs in my mothers room. Well, crap. Eh, YiJung? I feebly ask. Yeah? Do you have any extra pajamas? He laughs. You forgot to bring some up here, didnt you? Maybe. He rummages around and finds a large t-shirt and tosses it my way. Thanks. Now, dont look!

Wouldnt dream of it. Well, maybe dream of it. Hey! I quickly put the shirt on, just in case he decides to look, and climb under the covers, careful to stay to my side. My heart is fluttering again, and I cant make it stop. YiJung climbs in a minute later, and relaxes on his own side. Im afraid hes going to be able to hear my heart, hes so close. You forgot to turn off the light, I say. YiJung mutters under his breath, gets out of bed, turns off the light, and then climbs back into bed. He is not amused. But, I am. I relax into my side of the bed, and even though I wont admit it to him, it might be more comfortable than my new one. I lay there for nearly ten minutes, waiting for sleep that isnt coming when YiJung says, Sorry about yesterday. Sorry? Whats he talking about? My mind goes through the events, and it hits me. Stupid GaEul. The kiss. I, just, wanted to see what it was like, just once. He continues. I roll over in bed to face his back. Still, I shouldnt have done that to you. YiJung, I start. He rolls over to face me, too. Its decidedly intimate. I liked the kiss. Dont apologize. I close my eyes; I dont think I can bear to see his face after that confession. For a moment, Im glad were in the dark and he cant see me clearly. I can feel my face turning bright red. My heart is beating faster than ever. Is it possible for a heart to beat so much it breaks the rib cage? Hes quiet after my confession, and Im nervous. I dont expect him to say anything positive, but him not saying anything is worse than a rejection. Im just about to fall asleep again when I hear him whisper, I liked it too, GaEul. My body feels warmer, and I fully relax into his bed and fall into a deep sleep. Chapter Twenty-Two I wake up naturally the next morning, no alarm. Its warm, and comforting; I dont immediately open my eyes. When I do, I notice Im clinging to YiJungs chest, and hes looking down at me. I blink once. Twice. Were you watching me sleep? My voice is a little scratchy. I dont move, and neither does he. His arm is wrapped around my waist, and he looks surprisingly comfortable. I will neither deny or confirm that fact. He grins. I guess we moved in our sleep. It seems like a stupid thing to say, but Im not yet ready to move. It seems that way. He continues to smile at me, and I wonder if this is what it would be like to actually be married to YiJung; waking up in such a happy manner every day. You dont seem to mind, I tease.

Neither do you, he responds. We lay there in bed like that, not moving, not speaking, just looking, until I do something wholly unexpected. Im surprised I could ever be this bold. Perhaps his response last night empowered me. Or, Im still asleep. Or Im just not thinking. But, I slowly pick my head off the pillow, and gently kiss YiJung. A short, quick, chaste kiss just to see if hes interested. I lie back down, blushing and gauging his reaction. He looks surprised, but for the first time today, he moves. He lets go of me, and slowly rolls over so that the top half of his body is lying on top of me. Propping himself up on me, he silently asks for permission. He doesnt need it. I move in for another kiss. This time he responds. Todays kisses are entirely different than the one two days ago. We dont feel rushed; were content to just lie in bed, lazily kissing. Everything is gentle, and I just feel warm all over. He doesnt try to move more on top of me, or to escalate things; Im sure hes just as content as I to keep our lips connected. Were still making up for five years of missed kisses, after all. If I had to pick an occasion to describe our kisses right now, it would be Sunday morning missed kisses. Which is exactly what they are. Were trying to welcome each other back to the world this way. My arms are around his back, holding him close, and his arms are on either side of me, pinning me down. Its a lot like when we were against the wall, but this is more about security than passion. I think we can be so relaxed right now because we know theres nothing to disturb us. My mother certainly wont, we have no place we have to be today, and we have no one we need to see. Were free to stay in bed all day and kiss. I feel him smile into our last kiss, and it infects me. He pulls away and we lay there grinning like idiots, wondering if this is real, or all just part of a lovely dream. Hi, he finally says. Hi. I respond. Were not sure what to say. It doesnt feel awkward, but there just arent a lot of words to say. Weve said everything we needed to say in our kisses. That was nice. He smiles, and I smile right back. Yeah, I say. It was. He doesnt seem to want to move, and I dont want him to. Having him, this

way, on top of me, isnt heavy. I dont feel squished. I feel loved. Loved? No. He doesnt love me. I dont love him. Were...exploring. Thats it. Just exploring. I wait for him to get out of bed, but he stays there, just like I hope and want. We lay in bed for at least another hour just looking, and saying small sentences. Nothing important, just small chatter to fill the silence when we feel like it. This must be what marriage is like, he says. I guess so. I never saw my parents this way. I remark. Neither did I. He frowns for the first time today, and I decide that I dont like it at all. YiJung should always be smiling. What are we going to do about the press? I ask. I hate to bring up such a serious topic in a serene place like this, but it needs to be done. Do you want to do anything? He moves off of me, and props himself up to better have a conversation. Damn. I knew I shouldnt have brought it up. Not particularly, but, theyre going to be a nuisance, right? My body feels colder, and I want to stop this conversation and just snuggle some more. Alas, its not meant to be. As much as I dont want to, I sit up anyways. For a while, YiJung nods. But, theyll get tired eventually. I suppose. Cheer up GaEul. Were not nearly as interesting as JanDi and JunPyo. My mind goes back to right after they were first married. They couldnt go anywhere without a paparazzi or two stalking them. I shudder, and YiJung laughs before stepping out of bed. Our morning now is really over. Im going to go take a shower, he says over his shoulder as he rummages around for clean clothing. Alright. I step out of bed and shiver. Its not cold in the room, but compared to our warm nest, I feel like were in the North Pole. But, it could also be that Im just wearing a t-shirt. YiJung leaves the room, and I follow soon after to say good morning to my mother. Or, good afternoon. Im still not sure of the time. But, shes not there. In her place, I find a full table of breakfast, and a small note.

Hope your night was good! I made breakfast for you twotreat him well GaEul! Its so like my mother to get that last dig in, as if Im somehow going to mess up this marriage and make him divorce me. Well, in some way, shes right. Were only going to be married for a year and a half. I need to remember that. Walking into my room to get dressed, I see the time. One thirty?!? We stayed in bed that long?! Yikes. I dont have plans, but ah! Ive never taken that long to get up. Ever. Is this a normal thing for YiJung? He doesnt seem like the type, but I dont know. Maybe he is. Aish. Well, theres nothing I can do about that now. I throw on a dress, and try to tame my messy hair and check my cell phone. Three messages. Another from my mother telling me to treat YiJung well, one from Tuuliah, Ive ignored her too much--, and the last from JanDi. Hey, its me. I was just wondering if you wanted to get lunch today,...so, um...call me back. She sounds dejected. Did her and JunPyo fight again? Well, to be more honest, did she start another fight with JunPyo? I swearthat man would do anything for her. Anything. Seriously. Last time I saw him he asked me if I thought JanDi would want a family of penguins for her birthday. Okay, Im a little jealous. So, what? Doesnt every girl want to be loved like that? It doesnt make me a bad person. Hm. Too bad its a little late for lunch. But, I call JanDi anyways. She picks up on the second ring. Hey! Where have you been? At least she doesnt sound dejected anymore. Instead shes a mixture of being hyper and annoyed. Ah...I, uh, just woke up. Because my husband and I were too busy making out in bed. Thats so late! Sorry. Would you like to get a late lunch? I just finished. JanDi sounds apologetic. Oh ok. Hm. How about tea and good conversation? Its a deal! Meet at the coffee shop around the corner from your place? I look out the window; theres at least four reporters waiting outside. Um...lets make it the one near your hospital. Things are...chaotic around here. What? The press figured out who I am. Ahhh...I havent checked the news today. Neither have I, actually. Im not sure I want to, either. Well, give me an hour to get ready and get there, okay?

Yep. See you soon! I say goodbye, and we hang up. See, YiJung? Thats how you end a proper conversation with someone. You dont just leave the other person waiting for a goodbyeyou say it, and then hang up. Sheesh. I come back into the living room, and look at the breakfast. The polite thing to do would be to wait for YiJung. But,...I dont know how long hes going to be, and I promised JanDi Id meet her in an hour. So,...Ive got to eat my food, right? I cant make JanDi wait for me. That would be rude. My mouth is watering. My mother made us a full Korean mealI havent had that in too long. Ive been too busy to make it, and understandably so. Psh. Reluctantly, I sink into the chair, and pick up my chopsticks. Maybe Ill just eat a little bit. Im about to shove a large scoop of rice into my mouth when YiJung steps out of the bathroom, drying his hair with a towel. In a bathrobe. My eyes pop out of my head; I drop the rice on the table, and then make myself look at the ceiling so as to not stare. Hey, are you eating without me? Hes not angry, just teasing. Um...I promised JanDi Id meet her in an hour. Shes speaking to you again? I think so. He walks over, and sits down at the table. In the bathrobe. Im trying very hard to only look at his face. Well, Ill just eat now, so you can meet her. He picks up his chopsticks and digs into his rice. Is he just going to sit here, and eat breakfast? In the bathrobe? Uhhhhhh... GaEul? Eat! Youre the one who has to go out! He shoves a plate of fish in my direction, and I eat one bite. Somehow, I seem to have lost my appetite. Theres something else holding my attention. Chapter Twenty Two Point Five I wake up early the next morning only to find GaEul wrapped around my body. Shes fast asleep on my chest, and holding onto me as if she were afraid of being taken away. Its kind of cute. You know, if you like that sort of thing. For a moment, Im tempted to set her back on her side of the bed, but something stops me. I dont know what. Instead, I take my arm, and pull her closer, placing my hand on her waist. This just makes her sigh once in her sleep. I lay in bed, watching her sleep. Her face is the definition of contentment. She looks perfectly relaxed, with her lips slightly parted. Lips? For the last couple of days, her lips have been an object of my fascination. I cant seem to get my mind

off of them, and its starting to drive me nuts, to tell the truth. Every time were in the same room, my eyes drift to them. I hear everything she says, but I zone in on her lips. Red. Luscious. Alluring. I shake my head to try and get my mind off them, but this only causes GaEul to wake. Shit. I didnt mean to do that. It takes her a minute to get used to her surroundings, and then she looks up at me with wide eyes. Were you watching me sleep? Her voice is tired, and she still seems half awake. I, on the other hand, am perfectly awake, and ready to tease. I will neither deny or confirm that fact. I grin. I guess we moved in our sleep. No, GaEul. You moved in your sleep. But, I dont say that. It seems that way. She starts to smile at me, and its a little contagious. Playing with GaEul is great fun. You dont seem to mind, she responds. And, I dont. Something feels right about GaEul being here with me. I dont want to think about why though. Im not ready to admit that to anyone yet, least of myself. Neither do you, I say. We dont move from our spots. We lay perfectly snuggled in my great big bed. It seems a little silly to have a king size bed. GaEul is so small, and with her nestled up next to me, theres far too much empty space. Note to self: buy a smaller bed. Not that this is part of any devious plan to get GaEul to sleep up here again, so that in a smaller bed she would have to be nestled with me. Nope. Im distracted thinking about my non-existent plan, when GaEul genuinely surprises me. She picks her head off the pillow, and kisses me quickly on the lips. As quick as the kiss was, she lies back down and blushes so brightly I would think I was in bed with a tomato instead of a girl. Almost unwillingly, I let go of her to move, so that I can lay half on top of her. If she wants to kiss, weve at least got to do it properly. My head is six inches above her face, and Im waiting for her to say its okay. I shouldnt have. She kisses me again. And I kiss her back this time. As much as I enjoyed our kiss from two days ago, somehow these kisses are even nicer. Were closed up in bed, in our own little world, and were taking our time. We dont have to make everything about

passiontoday is about trust. She is content to just kiss, and so am I. We have lots of time to move forward in our relationship. Relationship? Does GaEul want a relationship? Do I want a relationship? Im not sure I have ever been happier than right here and now, with GaEul. Were not doing anything Earth-shattering. Were lying in bed gently kissing each otherbut somehow it just feels right. Every kiss seems to say something different between us. That one was an apology for a poorly made dinner, and this one is to say thank you for seeing my mother. This one? Thank you for being you. I cant help but break into a smile, disrupting us. I open my eyes and GaEul is smiling just as brightly. Maybe JunPyo is right. Love does turn people into idiots, andwait. Love? A relationship is one thing, but I cant love GaEul. And theres no way she can love me. Shes made it clear this, this, this thing is going to end in a year and a half. My heart might be telling me otherwise, but Ill just stomp it out, and be grateful to take what GaEul gives me. Whether its more kisses, or just being a friend, I can do that. Right now she wants me to just lie in bed and be here. I can do that. Im happy to do that. Im glad she wants to do that. Hi, I say. Hi. She responds. Im sure shes going to get out of bedwe really have been here for a whilebut she just lies there, looking at me so hard that Im afraid shes going to be able to read my innermost thoughts. Her arms are still around my back, and its cozy. Im not sure I ever want her to move them. We spend the next hour talking about small stupid things. Theres nothing important, just things that make us laugh and smile. Nothing our friends would understandthis is just between GaEul and myself. This must be what marriage is like, I whisper. I guess so. I never saw my parents this way, She looks away, trying to remember a time. Neither did I. I frown. I dont think I ever saw a single good moment between my parents. Maybe after I was first born, but theres nothing that I can remember. And thats when it hits me. I am nothing like my father. I cant remember any good thing he did for my mother. I may have treated GaEul poorly in the past, but Ive been working to make up for it. I have a long way to go, but I know that. Im going to work until I have. What are we going to do about the press? GaEul asks me.

Do you want to do anything? I reluctantly roll off of her, and sit up a little bit. If we are going to have this conversation, I need to not be touching her. Not particularly, but, theyre going to be a nuisance, right? She sits up too, and morning officially comes to an end. Were back in the real world, talking about real things. For a while, I nod. But, theyll get tired eventually. I suppose. She looks sad, and a little frustrated. I want nothing more than to lean over and kiss that frown off her face, but I restrain myself. If I do that, there might not be any going back. Cheer up GaEul. Were not nearly as interesting as JanDi and JunPyo. GaEul shudders, I laugh and finally step out of bed. The room is cold, compared to our safe, warm bed. It feels cruel to have to stand here. She looks up at me, disappointed. Ive ruined our morning together by ending it. She grabs her knees and curls up a little bit more. GaEul makes herself look even smaller in the bed, and I want even more to stop and crawl back into bed. I want to hold her, and whisper secrets into her ears, and to kiss every inch of her body. I want to know her better than I know myself. Why cant I go back? Would it be so bad to stay with GaEul there forever? I shake my head, and throw away those thoughts. Im going to go take a shower, I say as I search for clothes. My hands are shaking, and my resolve is weakening. As soon as I have found something clean, I bolt downstairs and into the bathroom. I lock the door, and take a good hard look at myself in the mirror. Is this the face of a man in a fake marriage? GaEul is not interested. GaEul is not interested. My heart is thumping wildly against my rib cage, trying to tell me otherwise. Its trying to tell me that GaEul is just as affected as I am, and wants me to run back upstairs and to kiss every inch of her body. My hands reach into the shower, and fumble until I manage to turn on the cold water. I wish I could say it felt refreshing as I step into the falling water. But, it doesnt. It stings and just further reminds me what I dont have. When I step out of the bathroom, GaEul is dressed, sitting at the dining table and about to eat a large portion of rice. Im in a bathrobe, and about to go upstairs, but GaEuls guilty face stops me. Hey, are you eating without me? She looks like she feels really bad about eating without me. Im not bothered either way. Um...I promised JanDi Id meet her in an hour. She drops her spoonful of rice on the table. Klutz. Shes speaking to you again? Im surprised JanDi would give in so early, but Im glad she did. GaEul needs as many friends as she can get, and theres no one better than JanDi.

I think so. I start walking over to table, in my undressed state. I shouldntGaEulll only further tempt me, but she looks like she wants to eatwhatever meal this is, Im not surewith me. Well, Ill just eat now, so you can meet her. I pick up my chopsticks, and start into the meal. GaEul couldnt have time to make this...did she order take out? No. Her mother is gone. She must have made it. Thank you, Omonim. GaEul is staring at me, and has yet to eat anything. What is going on in that girls head? Shes the one who has to leave! I yell at her to that extent, and shove some fish her way. What a weirdo my wife is. Chapter Twenty Three By the time I meet JanDi for lunch, I am starving. Needless to say, I didn't eat much with YiJung. Can you blame me??? If you had a naked man--save for a bathrobe--eating breakfast? lunch? whatever. A naked man eating a meal with you, would you have much of an appetite? No, better yet, a good-looking naked man at your table who happens to be your husband. Would you be able to eat? Yeah, I didn't think so. Worst of all was how oblivious YiJung was. He sat there, concerned, because I wasn't eating, but hello? There's a reason. It's called, you're hot. And naked. There is NO way he wouldn't have been affected if I ate breakfast in a bathrobe. PAH. I'd like to see him try to eat if I were naked. Not that I would do that, you know. A girl's got to have standards. JanDi is already seated at a small table in the corner of the coffee shop. It's secluded, and perfect for having a private conversation. She eagerly waves me over, and I hurry to meet her. She pulls out my chair from under the table, and I sit. She begins, surprisingly, with an apology. "I'm sorry I yelled at you, GaEul. That wasn't right. I should have given you my support straight away." "I have your support now?" I ask. "Of course! If YiJung makes you happy, I'm happy. Plus, now we're even more like sisters!" Seeing my confused face she continues. "GaEul--YiJung and JunPyo are like brothers. So, we're like sisters in law now!" Her face is bright, and I don't want to ruin her happiness, but...I've always thought we were sisters anyways. "Duh. How could I have not gotten that?" I laugh and shake my head as the waitress comes over. JanDi just orders a cup of coffee, but I get a soup and salad, too. It makes me feel very European. "Didn't you eat lunch?" JanDi asks me.

"Um, no..." I blush and avoid her gaze. If I look up she's going to give me the stink eye, and I'll have to tell. "GaEul! Were you too busy with your new husband???" She laughs knowingly, and I'm not sure if I want to correct her. Of course, YiJung and I weren't doing that but, JanDi has to think so. We've got the contract to think of. To everyone except YiJung, JiHoo and I, we're a normal married couple in the honeymoon phase, and it's a wonder we can't keep our hands off each other for more than five seconds. "Maybe." I say. That's all I want to elaborate on. "Am I going to need to call your husband to tell him to leave you alone for two seconds???" JanDi! We're in public! There are children two tables over from us! Parents! Cover their ears! "Ha ha," I manage to laugh, "no it's fine." Please, let's just change the subject. "Araso, araso. I understand completely. The first year JunPyo and I were married there wasn't a day his hand wasn't in my--" "JANDI!" I yell. Oops. "There are children right over there." I jerk my head in their direction. "Hmph," she pouts. "I don't see what's so embarrassing about it. Children will find out about it sooner or later." "Just leave it," I plead. Thankfully, she does. "So, what's new with you?" I ask. She smiles like a canary. "Something." She says gleefully. "Are you going to tell me what it is?" "Not yet. But, I will. It's good." She keeps smiling, and I'm dying to know. She can't tease me like that! "Come on. Tell me!" I whine. "Nope. I have to tell JunPyo first." "Meanie." I stick out my tongue. "You just like teasing me." "Never said I didn't." She's quiet for a minute as our drinks and food arrive. Drinking her coffee she asks, "when are you going to invite me and JunPyo over for dinner?" When you tell me your secret. But, I don't say that. "Oh, um,...anytime?" "How about in a couple weeks? JunPyo has to go to India for business on Tuesday, and I'm not sure when he's coming back yet." I nod, agree and begin eating my meal. It's absolutely delicious. I'll have to remember to take YiJung here sometime.

"You'll like our new apartment. YiJung looks so funny in it," I giggle, "I'm not sure he's ever been in such an old building before." JanDi looks at me blankly. Oh, well. I think it's funny. "I'm sure I will," JanDi's phone buzzes, and she checks it. "GaEul. Listen, I've got to get going in a minute. I was asked to fill in for another doctor tonight." She shows me her phone message, and I agree. "Of course. Work is important! Go save the world!" I wave, and JanDi reluctantly gets up. She hesitates a moment, and turns back to face me. "I really am sorry for acting the way I did, and I'm glad he makes you so happy GaEul." With that, JanDi hurries out the door and flags down a taxi. I finish my meal, pay my bill, and walk out the door. I could catch a taxi, too, but the weather is nice out, and the apartment is only a mile or so away, and for the moment, at least, there are not any reporters following me. Seoul in the spring is beautiful, and it's just nice to be outside. It takes me a little more than half an hour to walk home, and unfortunately, that is where the reporters lie. As soon as they spot me, they start throwing their question at me. I try to tune them out, but I still hear one about how YiJung and I are fighting because I left the apartment alone. Hello, guys? We don't have to be together ALL the time. YiJung still has his life, and I still have mine. I am a little surprised, however, that YiJung isn't there when I get back. In his place is a handwritten note. Gone to the studio for a while. I'll bring back dinner. Don't worry. What is there to worry about? I don't have time to ponder over his meaning because my phone rings. It's JiHoo Sunbae. "Hey!" I might sound a little too enthusiastic. "How are you GaEul?" It's nice to hear his voice. "I'm alright. How are you Sunbae?" He laughs. "I thought you reserved that word only for YiJung." "No way! You're all my Sunbaes. It's better than calling you Oppa, isn't it?" "Ick." I can picture him making a face on the other end. "Don't call me that." I laugh and agree. The word feels strange in my mouth. "So what's new JiHoo?" "Ah, I just wanted see how things are going between you and YiJung?" That's a loaded question JiHoo. I think things are okay, but I don't know. He's hot, and he's cold, and he doesn't communicate. I don't communicate, either. We dance around each other, and I don't know what either of us want. Do we even want anything? Does this have to be a thing?

My silence seems to answer the question. "So it's like that." He says emotionless. "Like what?" "GaEul. I may be over the phone, but, I know you two better than you think. Something's happened." Whaaaat? How does he know? Is he magic? "I don't know what you're talking about. Oh, look. The paper says it's going to rain tomorrow. What a shame." So, I might be going for the distraction reaction--when I don't want to answer a question, I automatically change the subject. It's just something I do. It's pathetic, and I can't help it. I might be twenty-five, but I'm still acting like a teenager. Yikes. "Don't change the subject! What happened? GaEul,...I'm the only person you can tell the truth to." I suppose he's right. JiHoo's trying to help, so I should use him as my confidant. "We, uh,...kissed." My voice is small and unsure. "That's fantastic!" "Is it? I don't know up from down now, and I don't know where I stand on anything." "GaEul...I think that's what's supposed to happen." "What? Of course not. Don't be absurd. How am I supposed to live when I can't figure anything out?" "It's normal." "What's normal?" "Being in love." BEING IN LOVE?!??! No no no no no. "YiJung! There's no way I'm in love!" He starts laughing hysterically. "You just proved my point even more. You called me YiJung." "Yah! I was just-just-just confused! You sound like him, and you both drive me insane!" I do NOT love YiJung. No. "GaEul, is it so bad to be in love with your husband?" "Yes! For one, he doesn't love me!" YiJung does not love me. I do not love him. My world is not crumbling in front of my eyes. I'm not going to let it happen. I worked so hard to build up my world, and I'm not going to let one stubborn Sunbae destroy it over the phone.

"How do you know he doesn't love you?" JiHoo calmly asks me. "Because he just doesn't!" "Like you don't love him?" "Exactly!" I bet he's smirking on the other side. If we were in the same place, I'd hit him. Or, at the very least give him a stern look. "Can I ask a question?" "You're going to ask it anyways, aren't you?" "Yep." He laughs, and asks, "Did you kiss YiJung? Or did he kiss you?" "Uh, I kissed him the second time," I blurt out without really thinking. "The second time?" Oops. "Ha ha, look at the time. It's getting pretty late, I should get to bed." Distraction reaction, not working. "GaEul!" "Okay, fine. He kissed me the first time." "GaEul, he wouldn't just do that to mess with your head. If he kissed you, there's a reason, and that's all I'm going to say. Give it some thought, okay?" He sounds so sure of himself. How does JiHoo do that? I'm never sure of myself. "Okay Sunbae." "Now, when do I get to come see your new apartment?" "Anytime you want JiHoo. We're moved in." "Good! I'll take you up on that sometime soon. If you'll excuse me, I need to get back to work. But, we'll talk soon?" I agree, and we hang up. Stupid JiHoo. He's so good at putting thoughts into my head. There wasn't a reason YiJung kissed me, and there wasn't a reason I kissed him. And that reason definitely wasn't that we're in love. Right? I mean, YiJung has been different recently. He's nicer, and he tries harder. And he didn't seem bothered that we had to sleep together. He was even watching me in my sleep. And he's bring dinner home tonight so I don't have to cook. He painted the living room for me. He kissed me better than anyone else ever did. He just held me this morning. He made me feel safe. Oh, shit.

Does my husband love me? I'm pondering what to do with that information, when YiJung returns, and I nearly jump a mile. He laughs, and sets the take out on the counter in the kitchen. "Did I scare you?" "Just a little." I take a good, long, hard look at YiJung. There should be some sort of sign if he's in love with me. Maybe he'll have little hearts in his eyes. Nope. No hearts. He doesn't look sweaty. He's not flushed either. I get flushed when I'm around someone I like. Instinctively, I touch my face. It's flushed. Does this mean I love my husband too??? Chapter Twenty Four The next week goes by slowly. I spend the week in doubt, going over the proof in my head. Does YiJung actually love me? Theres only one way to solve this. I imagine myself the judge in a court of law, with JiHoo standing on one side, as the prosecuting attorney, and JanDi on the other as the defending attorney. YiJung sits next to JanDi, on trial for his treatment of me. Im seated in the middle, wearing the most ridiculous wig of curls, and an ugly black robe. Apparently, Im in a British court. Im ashamed to say that I dont know much about my countrys laws, but I dont think that court looks like this. My knowledge of law is directly related to the amount of foreign films Ive seen. JiHoo looks to me, and I nod briefly. He rises, and begins his speech. Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, Im going to keep this simple, and let the evidence speak for itself. So YiJung is inexplicably in love with his wife. He cannot be allowed to deny these facts any longer, as it will be detrimental to the health of our defendant. He motions to the client sitting down, and its another version of myself. Hey, its my wild imagination; Im allowed to be in two places at once. First, JiHoo begins, the defendant has barely left the apartment since my client and the defendant have moved in. In fact, the only time the defendant has left is in the morning each day to go work for a few short hours at his pottery studiohis means of living. He leaves each day around ten-thirty, and returns promptly at two in the afternoon. YiJung shoots a look at client me and crosses his arms in defiance. Secondly, the defendant has offered to make dinner for my client each night.

I as the judge nod, and give an approving look to YiJung. I dont want to show my favor, but this evidence has scored major points for JiHoos team. Team is the right word, isnt it? Im going with yes. Its my fake court. Not only has the defendant offered to make dinner, but, he has not acted disappointed, frustrated, or annoyed when my client has taken him up on the offer. Objection! Yells JanDi. She stands up and slams her hands on the table angrily. The defendant has only offered to make dinner in an effort to be polite! JiHoo is as calm and composed as ever. While JanDi is riled up, he stands and collects his thoughts before speaking again. Some might say polite, but others may say an act of love. Its up for the judge and jury to decide. JanDi gives him a look of contempt, but sits down, albeit, unwillingly. JiHoo continues. Lastly, and most importantly, I believe, the defendant lingers in the living room each night before heading upstairs to go to bed. Almost as if he were waiting for a certain someone to join him upstairs. Objection! JanDi screams again. This calls into speculation! Has the defendant ever said to your client that he wants her to join him upstairs??? The judge me jumps in the conversation before JanDi yells some more at poor JiHoo. Ill allow it, I say. Your honor! JanDi keeps yelling. That is pure speculation and you know it! Be that as it may be, I say. Im allowing it in my court of law. If you interrupt me once again, Im going to hold you in contempt! Youll get your turn to speak Ms. Geum. Now sit down. JanDi shoots me a dirty lookooh, thats another point off for her teamand sits down once more. Now that I can continue, JiHoo says, I have but one last thing to add. The defendant not only lingers in the living room, but my client has stated on the record that the defendant has had a certain look on his face. A look that she believes is the defendant wanting to issue an invitation to sleep upstairs. If this is not a man whos in denial, I dont know what is. Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, I hope you make the correct decision, and convict So YiJung guilty of love! There is a murmur in the courtroom as the audience chatters amongst themselves and the jury quickly jot down a few notes. YiJung looks visibly disturbed. Perhaps he knows that hes losing the case. I bang my gavel once and look over to JiHoo and client me. Client me winks once, and its clear she thinks shes going to win. Well see what the defendant presents. I call order and JanDi stands up. Thats well and nice of the prosecution, she starts, but I think youve conveniently forgotten once piece

of evidence. Evidence that, I believe, will sway the entire jury and judge in my direction. She smirks, knowingly, and continues speaking, to explain this evidence, I would like to call one Chu GaEul to the stand! She stands with her hands on her hips as the courtroom gasps in disbelief. They were not expecting the prosecuting client to be called to testify. Client me gives a worried look to JiHoo, and leans over to whisper something in her ear before she gets up. Probably something like just tell the truth. Or, thats what I hope he would say. Client me walks to the stand, takes an oath, and sits down. JanDi cracks her knuckles and swaggers over to the stand. Shes obnoxiously confident. Can you state your name and position for the record? JanDi asks. Chu GaEul, wife of So YiJung. Client me says. Thank you. Now, can you tell me what happened last Sunday morning? She grins, and client me blushes. I dont think I want to answer the question. Um, can I abstain? Client me tries to say, but JanDi cuts her off. Absolutely not! Just answer the question; there is nothing to be afraid of. JanDi tries to give a reassuring look, but client me isnt buying it. I look just as nervous as ever. Well,my mother spent the night, you see. Client me looks over to the jury, and they nod sympathetically. And because my mother spent the night, I had to sleep upstairs. Another nod from the jury. So, I woke up, and YiJung, she points to the defendant, had wrapped his arms around me. One thing lead to another and we ended upkissingin bed. The last words come out quietly. I dont think the jury heard those last words Ms. Chu. Will you say them again? JanDi smirks, and waits for the answer. We kissed, okay??? And it was great! Client me shouts. So you had a good time? JanDi asks. Yes! We both had a great time. We were up there for hours! Oh dear, client me might be losing her marbles. JiHoo shakes his head slowly. Good. Im glad you both had a great time. Such a great time, that, naturally, there have been many, many repeats since the first incident, am I correct? JanDi is in her element now. YiJung sits up in his chair straighter and looks much more confident than before. Umclient me doesnt know how to respond. We have not repeated the incident again, no. Client me blushes and is quiet again. JanDi feigns surprise. You havent repeated it again? Oh my! Just one last question for you Ms. Chu.

When, exactly has Mr. So confessed his love for you? JiHoo looks furious, more angry and emotional than I have ever seen him. But, then again, this is my own imagination. He looks like he wants to object, but he knows there is nothing he can object to. JanDi is asking perfectly fair questions of client me. Can you answer the question Ms. Chu? Delaying your answer is not, I believe, going to change what you have to say. JanDi snarls, a little cruelly, I think, and client me might be on the verge of tears. He, umhasnt. He hasnt confessed his love for me. Can I step down now??? Client me looks up at judge me with tears forming in her eyes. JanDi says she can step down, and client me practically runs back to JiHoo. He pats her on the back once and hands her a tissue. JanDi, however, continues her tirade. As you can see, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my client has neither professed her love, nor initiated any additional acts of love. The incident in question was initiated by the prosecution, and has not occurred since. The evidence the prosecution has submitted can be chalked up to nothing by my client acting out of the kindness of his own heart. He knows how difficult it is for the prosecution to lie to her friends and family. His acts of kindness were just an attempt at making her life a little bit easierthere were no romantic overtone. I hope you will find in favor of my client, thank you. JanDi sits down, and theres some more chattering. I dismiss the jury to convene, and they scurry out of the room. Theres a heavy air left in the courtroom, with each side wondering if theyve won. As judge, Im not sure whom I would choose, either. Certainly YiJung hesitating before going to sleep is important, but then again, there have not been any repeats of kisses, either. Its a close call. Time goes by, and just when Im about to give up hope, the jury re-enters the room. One of them hands their decision over to me, and just as Im about to open up the piece of paper YiJung shakes me out of my daydream. Dont you have to go to work soon? He laughs once and walks in the kitchen. Damn. I was just going to find out the truth, and he ruins it. Of course. Uh, yeah. What time is it? A little before nine. Crap. Ive got to get going now. I start rushing around the apartment, trying to find my coat and purse before YiJung grabs my arm, and stops me. Heydont worry. Ill drop you off. I thought you leave later for the studio. He shrugs once. Eh. I only stuck around so late because you were here to entertain me. He walks

back into the kitchen, grabs a piece of toast and hands it to me. Eat. Youll need energy today. In the back of my mind, attorney JiHoo has taken note of what has just happened. Not only did YiJung say I am entertainment, but he made me more foodeven if it is just toast. We get out the door in a couple more minutes, leaving me plenty of time to get to school. He drops me off in front and asks, Do you want me to pick you up after school? I shake my head. Dont worry about it. Im a big girl; Ill take the subway home. Alright. He purses his lips. But if its dark out, give me a call. Its not safe to take the subway alone at night. I nod, but dont say that at three-thirty, when school ends, it wont be dark. Instead, I say thank you and hurry into the school, hoping to not see TaeSoong. My classroom is empty, and exactly the same. The substitute teacher has done a good job, I think. She has had my children paint pictures and it seems like theyve studied Africa this last week. Good. I can only hope they behaved for her. Theres a quiet knock on my door, and Tuuli hops in the room, running over to give me a big hug. How come you didnt tell me you got married??? She asks with a little hurt in her voice. Im sorry, I say. We wanted to keep it secret for a little while so we could tell our parents. She nods, and I think she understands. So, whats happened while Ive been gone? So much! She gushes. We got a new meal plan in the cafeteria, and the principal got a haircut, and theyre installing the new swing set later this week, and, she trails off, trying to think of what else I missed in my absence. Oh! TaeSoong resigned! What?!?! TaeSoong resiged?!? Seeing my confused face, Tuuli continues. Yep! It was so strange. It was a day after you left for vacation. He walked into the principals office, and said that he had a desire to see the countryside and he was leaving the next morning to head south. She shrugs, dismissing the conversation. But, I cant do that so easily. TaeSoong resigned the day after he found out I got married. I dont want to sound conceited, but, does this have anything to do with me? Did his goodbye outside the principals office a goodbye forever? I didnt think so at the time, butjust maybe. I feel terrible now. Even if I didnt do anything wrong, I still feel bad for TaeSoong. I hope he can find someone in the south to make him happy.

Have they found a replacement teacher yet? I ask. Oh duh! I cant believe I forgot to tell you that! Its such good news too! She smacks her head. They found a new teacher just a couple days later. Ooh, youre going to like him, too GaEul. Actually, its a shame youre married. Wait, no its not. You cant take him from me! Take him from you? GaEulhes the best looking person Ive ever meet. Hes tall, and got perfect hair, and oh my gosh, hes such a gentleman. Mmm. Sounds like my kind of man. Too bad I am married. To someone who may or may not love me. And whom I may or may not love back. Whats his name? Ah, Ill just go take you to meet him right now! Tuuli grabs my wrist and drags me out of the room. She better make this quick. Good-looking teacher or no, school starts in about fifteen minutes. We make our way through the school, walking quickly to TaeSoongs old classroom. Sorryits this new teachers classroom now. If hes as good looking as Tuuli says he is, I might have to call him Hot Teacher. Tuuli knocks once on the door, and a voice says, Enter. Hey! Our absent teacher has finally returned and wants to meet you. Shes decidedly informal with such a new person. She must have spent a lot of time with him while I was gone. She shoves me forward and his face comes into focus. The color drains from my face as I gasp and say, Choi Seung Ho. Chapter Twenty Five Choi SeungHo? Choi SeungHo is here? Why of all places is Choi SeungHo in this room, holding out his hand for me to shake it? Is there no justice in the world?!?! Tuuli stands between us, looking back and forth at my shocked expression, and his gleeful one. Hes taking pleasure in my displeasure at seeing him. Fortunately, Tuuli breaks the awkward silence. Um, do you two know each other? Do we know each other? Lets see. What do saywhat to say We met in graduate school, three years ago, and dated for a year. Hes the man who took my virginity. I definitely dont want Tuuli to know that. I havent even told JanDi that. I hope he hasnt told anyone

else. I dont think he would. Hes a good guy, SeungHobut we just didnt work. GaEul? Are you there? Tuuli is waving her hand in my face, and I stutter before I answer. Oh, w-w-we met in graduate school. We were classmates. SeungHo smiles even wider, if thats possible. Im not sure if hes pleased, or amused that Im omitting some of the truth to Tuuli. Yep, he says. Even though Im older than GaEul, she was my Sunbae in school. He laughs once, and I try to join in. He used to love calling me that. I thought it was kind of okay, too. Well, I should get going. Class beginning, and all. I jerk my head in the direction of the clock, and start inching my way out of the classroom. He just waves at Tuuli and I. We exit his room, and Tuuli immediately asks me whats going on. Nothing, I lie. Dont give me that! Youre keeping secrets from me GaEul, she pouts. First you dont tell me you got married, and now you wont tell me whats up with SeungHo! You know him! Yeahwe were classmates, I say under my breath. GaEul, she whines, Im the last to know all the gossip. Pleasssseeee? Sheesh. Sometimes she and JanDi are exactly the same person. We, uh, might have dated for a little bit. I give her a stern look, But thats all youre getting! And dont you dare tell anyone else! I huff off into my classroom. I really do suck at this lying thing. Tuuli corners me for one minute and I cave. If anyone ever says Id be a good spy, whoo. They would be full of it. But, SeungHo? Is it just a coincidence hes teaching here now? Thereslord knows how many schools in Seoul. Why this one? My thoughts are interrupted by the pitter patter of small students hurling themselves into my classroom, and my heart soars with joy. Ive missed them over the last couple weeks. Vacation is great, but I could never do it permanently. Im meant to be a teacherit gives me joy, and I think Im good at it. One little girl in my class hands me a flower she picked outside, and tells me Im better than the substitute teacher. I pat her on the head, and fight back tears. Yikes, I feel too emotional today. Must be that time of the month. Come to think of it,when did it last come? I let go of my student, and try not to panic. Its the time to be professional, not an emotional wreck because I think I might be pregnant. I need to greet my students. I need to teach. I need to not think about this. Oh shit. I need to look at my calendar.

My students start asking me if Im okay, while my fingers fly through my calendar in my purse. Nothing. Not a single mark. Why cant I be like girls in movies who write this stuff down?!?! This is bad. This is bad. I cant remember the last time I had my period. Not since YiJung and I got married. Oh, YiJung. Even though hes the father, I hadnt really thought about him. What would he say? Would he want to keep it? Would I want to keep it? I love children, I really do. Would I work as a teacher if I didnt like children? But am I ready to have children? I know thats what my mother wants,but I always pictured being married longer than a,month, before having children. And my job! Id have to leave work! I just got back! I dont want to leave work! Thats it. I cant have this baby. Er, if I am pregnant, that is. Calm down, GaEul. You dont know anything for certain yet. So what if you havent had your period in over a month. Im sure that happens to lots of girls who arent pregnant. Theres nothing you can do about it right now anyways. Youve got to calm down, and teach your class. Currently, there are forty-eight little eyes staring widely up at you, waiting for you to say something. Put words together in your head. Make a sentence, and say it out loud. Then repeat that, a couple thousand times. G-g-good morning, class. My hands are shaking, but I think I look okay. Just dont think about it. Good morning Ms. Chu. They repeat, grinning while theyre busy wiping snot on their sleeve, eating paper, or pulling the hair of the kid next to them. Ah, theres nothing like elementary school in the morning. Once I get into the rhythm of teaching again, its easier to forget SeungHo and my maybe-maybe not baby. We spend the morning painting self portraits, and the kids ask question after question about YiJung. I guess the substitute told them I got married. What does your husband do for a job? Hes an artist. He makes clay pots. Is he nice? Very nice. Why didnt you tell us you were getting married?

We decided to surprise everyone. Are you going to quit? One worried boy asks me. Of course not! I love everyone here. But you love your husband more? ErrrIm not sure how to answer that one. Thats enough questions for today. You can ask some more tomorrow. I smile, and tell them to keep painting. My self-portrait is awful. Ive always been poor at painting. If YiJung were to see this, hed laugh, and probably hang it in the middle of the living room to humiliate me. I take note to toss it in the trash can after school today. The kids break for lunch, and I sigh heavily. I have an hour free; I should run to the closest pharmacy and buy a pregnancy test. Unfortunately, I dont get the chance. As soon as the last student has grabbed his lunch pail, SeungHo walks in the door. Can we talk? He asks. Im a little busy right now, I try. Youre stressing me out, and I need to see if Im knocked up! Wait. You cant be knocked up if youre married. STILL. I move to the door, but SeungHo blocks the way out. Please? he begs. It always has been difficult saying no to him. I sigh, motion for him to come in, and sit down at my desk once more. You came here, so you speak first. I raise an eyebrow and wait for him. I guesswe never talked about why we ended. He states. No, but I thought it was obvious. I say. To you, maybe. I thought we were great together. We werefor a while. But then all the things I used to love about you, I just didnt love anymore. I shrug, and feel cruel for being so honest. His face registers my words, and I feel even worse. Why didnt you tell me back then? I tried. But, every time I started speaking, you would change the subject. Be honest with me SeungHo. You tried to stop those conversations. He stares at me blankly. Maybe I did. He finally says. But, thats only because I knewknow were perfect for each other. Do you remember how happy we were? Yeah, I say. I do. But we both changed, and then we just didnt work anymore. Why is he talking

about this now? Its been such a long time. We could be happy again, he begins, but I cut him off. SeungHoIm married. I hold up my hand for him to see the ring. So? No. I flatly say. This conversation is now over. I move to the door, and SeungHo, thankfully, moves to the side. Im married. There is no so, and I step out into the empty hallway. Im two steps away when I hear SeungHo once more. Thats why I came back. He says. I found out you were teaching here, and had to come back. You may be married, but were right, and Ill take you however I can. I dont care about your husband. I dont think you really love him. So, Im going to keep waiting until you take me back. We can have an affair, or you can get divorced. I dont care. But, Im going to wait. I love you, GaEul. Youre it for me. Theres no one else, and there never will be. I dont know what to say to that, so I keep walking. I get outside, and leave the school grounds. Theres still plenty of time left in my break. Im not hungryI can go without today. Theres too much to think about. I cant believe SeungHo had the nerve to say that. He never said things like that when we were together, and to be honest, I had no idea he thought so much of our relationship. Sure, it was great while it lasted, but it was never that serious. I dont think we ever said the word marriage while we dated. We just werent thinking about it at the time. Eventually I find a pharmacy, and reality comes back to me. Ive got to buy a pregnancy test. Even though Im married, I still feel a little embarrassed. I never wanted to be one of these girls, stuck with a baby that theyre not sure they want. Hesitantly, I take the test to the counter, and wait to be heckled by the woman. She seems un-phased, however, and simply asks for money. I hand it over, and ask to use the restroom. Im handed a key, and told its the last door on the right. Of course it is. They want to prolong my torture as much as possible. Walking down the hallway, it seems like it stretches for miles. I feel trapped in one of those films where the hallway gets longer the more you walk down. Finally, I reach the end, hurry in the bathroom, and lock the door. Just in case. I fumble with the packaging. Why must everything be put in such small containers?! It eventually comes open, and I quickly pee on the stick. I set it on the sink counter, and force myself to turn the other direction and face the wall. Now to wait one minute. This is the worst part. I try not to think of it, but I picture YiJung and me years down the road, playing with a round-faced girl. Were at the park, and YiJung and I are taking turns pushing her on the swing. When its my turn to push her, YiJung leans in and kisses me on the cheek. Its sweet, and I respond by kissing him on the

lips. The girl complains of cooties, and jumps off the swing to get away from us. We laugh, grab hands and run after her, scooping her up in our arms, and smothering her in kisses. Theres a flash, and the girl is older, and joined by a younger brother. Were eating dinner at the table in some unknown house. YiJung winks at me while we say grace, only to get an eye roll from the girl. The boy starts to grab food with his hands, but YiJung gently scolds him and tries to get him to use the chopsticks. The girl is shoving rice in her mouth as fast as she can, and tells me that she hates vegetables today. I tell her she has to eat one bite. She gives me the stink eye but takes two bites anyways. Theres another flash and were at a school graduation ceremony for the boy. Is it for middle school? Either way YiJung and I are on our feet cheering while the girl, whos older still, sulks in a chair next to us. The boy walks on stage to get his little diploma and were taking as many pictures as we can. Ive never seen smiles so big, and Im not sure whos is bigger. YiJung, watching proudly as the boy walks across the stage or the boy on the stage, receiving his diploma. Theres a quiet beep from my cell phone, and I know one minute has been up. I reluctantly turn around, my heart beating wildly. Im not sure if its excited or afraid after what Ive just imagined. I pick up the stick, and close my eyes. One Two Three! Not pregnant, it says. I should feel relieved, but somehow, I feel a little bit emptier. I sit down on the toilet, and let myself shed a few tears. I dont want this. I dont want a baby. So, why am I so upset? Chapter Twenty Six So, Im not pregnant. This is a good thing, right? I know the reasons why I cant have a baby,but cute little baby hands and little baby feet and clean baby smell... Wait. What am I talking about? Those are terrible reasons to have a baby. Stupid GaEul. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I wipe the last few tears from my face, toss the test in the trash, and leave the pharmacy as fast as I can. I wonder if the woman working thinks my test is positive or negative. She probably doesnt care either way. She probably sees this happen a dozen times a day. I need to put this behind me and get back to work. The sunshine feels good on my face. Its trying to tell me that my day is going to get better. I want to believe it. I overreacted with the non-baby. I cant be upset about this because I made it all up in my head. And

with SeungHo,... Well, Im not sure what to do with SeungHo. I cant believe he said those things to me. What right does he have? Absolutely none! Even if I wasnt married, I wouldnt take him back. Its weird. We dated for a year, but I havent thought much about him since then. If I wanted to get back together with him, Id have to feel it deep in my bones. Id have to have all sorts of regretsof things I said, of things I never said, things I did and didnt do. But, I dont have any regrets. I let the moment pass with him, and Im okay with that. When I think about him, now, I just feel dull. Not happy. Not sad. Hes just a piece of my past that helped make me who I am today. YiJung on the other handour past is filled with nothing but regrets. But I am startingI am hoping to think we were given a second chance. I dont know how I feel, and I dont know how he feels, but the way things are now is comfortable. I want to keep seeing where this is going. I just need to be brave enough to face it. I run my hands through my hair, and feel frustrated. My thoughts are going nowhere. I cant concentrate, and I need to put this aside while I get back to work. Its my first day backI should be professional. However, despite my best efforts, I cant quite put those thoughts behind me. A student says something that reminds me of something YiJung said last night, or another shows a picture of his little sister during sharing time. I cant completely escape it, and by the time school is finished for the day Im emotionally and physically exhausted. I trudge to the subway station, and collapse on a bench that Im lucky enough to have to myself. Im so tired that I almost miss my stop. The short walk upstairs to the apartment is painful. I drop my purse on the floor upon opening the door, and make straight for the couch. I fall down on it, and nap peacefully until YiJung returns. It barely registers on my mind that hes not home. He wakes me up sometime later, accidentally. Hes in the kitchen, and he drops a knife on the floor, startling me. I walk over to him, and he says, Sorry. I wanted to let you sleep longer. Its okay. I rub some sleep from my eyes. If I sleep more I wont sleep tonight. He nods and asks, That rough of a day? I wonder what I should tell him. All of it? None of it? I should be honest. Not one of the better ones, I settle for. He turns around from pulling things out of the refrigerator. Do you want to talk about it? I shrug. Its silly. Im not going to tell him about SeungHo. He doesnt need to know about that. Not if it made you have a bad day. Okay. I, um, I pause, and think about how best to put this. I realized at work that I was late. YiJung stares at me blankly until he drops more silverware on the floor, figuring out what Im talking about. I

guess hes having a clumsy day. Oh shit. Are you? I shake my head. I cant decide if hes upset or just shocked. Hell, Im not sure if Im shocked or upset. No. But, I was panicked for a while. He lets out a breath I didnt know he was holding. Are you okay about it? What? Yeah. I mean, we dont want to be saddled with a baby, right? I try to laugh, but I cant quite bring myself to look at him. I dont want his expression to upset me. And besides, I dont want to quit my job. You do want kids someday though He trails off hopefully. Yeah. Someday. Just not now. I can feel tears starting to form, so I turn away from him. GaEul Its okay. Really. Im just tired. I take a step away from him, but YiJung is too quick. He grabs my wrist and pulls me in for a hug, trying to be of some comfort. I reluctantly let the tears fall. Why didnt you call me? He asks in a small voice. Its a fair question. I didnt want you to stress about nothing. GaEul, this isnt nothing. He laughs a little. I think this is the definition of something. Sorry, I mumble. Maybe someday, GaEul. Hes quieter than before but I still think he means for me to hear him. We pull apart from the hug, and I dont know where to go from this. He wipes away the remaining tears from my face with his thumbs. My heart is beating faster again, but I dont think its the right time to ask him questions about us, and its not the right time for me to say things about us, either. So I just let the moment pass, and he goes back to making dinner. I walk dejectedly back to my room to change out of work clothes, and I wonder if I should have told him about SeungHo. No. Im not going to let SeungHo become a thing. As long as he isnt a thing, YiJung doesnt need to know about him. I still feel guilty though. We eat a quiet dinner, and I feel guiltier for not making dinner again. I know I said in the contract that I didnt want to cook every day, but Ive barely cooked in a week. I think Ive made breakfast twice, and dinner once. YiJung comes home from the studio and immediately goes into the kitchen, not saying anything. Is he annoyed that Im not offering to cook more? Id be.

I let that moment pass too, and dont say anything except thank you while we eat. I pick up afterwards, and then join him on the couch to watch a little TV, making another moment, another opportunity. He is absorbed in the program, and doesnt acknowledge me when I sit down next to him. Ill probably let this moment pass too; I seem to be good at that. He casually lays an arm around my shoulder, trying to keep me warm. And thats it. Thats my breaking point. Im going to be brave. Im going to ask questions and get some answers YiJung, why is your arm around me? He turns away from the TV and looks at me confused. Does it bother you? I breathe deeply. If Im going to ask questions, I need to be prepared to answer them, as well. No, I begin. But what about the contract? What about it? He still looks confused. Does he not see this as I do? Were so entangled in each others lives. Oh. He pauses. I guess so. Well, we can strike that out of the contract. YiJung. Yes? I take another deep breath. I dont think we still have the contract. A large part of me wants to just stop this conversation right now, but I shouldnt. Ive taken this first step. Im being brave. I need to see this through to the end. Even if I end up getting hurt. Why not? He looks at me earnestly, and I know he hasnt thought about this like I have. Maybe he hasnt thought about the contract once since signing it. I turn around on the couch to face him, and pull up my legs to sit on them. Because. Were not doing any of the things on it! He blinks once and I keep speaking. Were together all the time except when were workingwhen was the last time you went out with the boys? I dont see JanDi as much as I used to. Youre doing all the cooking for me. And we havent gotten a dog! YiJung laughs on my last sentence. Plus I say, Weve had two rather good make out sessions. YiJung snorts and I feel my heart starting to break. Just, I dont know where your head is, and Im so confused all the time. And tonight! Im being stupid and youre there comforting me. I guess, I pause, what Im trying to say is that youre acting like a

real husband, and I need to know if I need to act like a real wife. I dont let myself look away from him. I want to, desperately, but I need to understand. I need answers. He doesnt say anything for a long time. The air is thick, and I realize that our elephant is back in the room, and hes even larger than before. But we both know hes there. Ive started the process, but YiJung has to make him smaller and give me some honest answers. I dont know, he says and my heart sinks. I thought this was going to be easy, being fake married to you. But then we started spending time together, and I felt different. I felt like doing things to make you happy, and I wanted to be with you all the time. When we woke up together last week, II had never felt anything like that. We were safe together. But, GaEul, Im so bad at this I dont know what this is. I smile slowly, and he returns it. Were on the same page then. Really? He asks, and I nod. We smile at each other, but dont do anything. Out of the corner of my eye I see the elephant, but I almost have to squint to see him. He takes my hand, and I blush. So, what now? Im not sure, he says and I laugh. Youre the one with experience! Youre supposed to be good at this YiJung! Yah! He playfully yells at me. I was never serious about those girls! And youre ruining the moment! Youll get over it, I stick out my tongue, and then pause after I process his words. Wait. Are you serious about me? Now its his turn to blush. Maybe. I dont know. So what if I am? Last time I checked we were married anyways. Youre cute when youre on the spot. He blushes some more, but tries to recover. Im always cute. I throw a pillow at him and laugh some more. Who knew that being honest could be so good? Lets go out tomorrow, he says. Okay. I shrug. Im serious GaEul. Lets go on a real date tomorrow. Im serious in responding, YiJung. Okay, lets go on a date tomorrow night. I let go of his hand and stand up from the couch. Weve had a good talk, Ive ruined the moment, and Im ready to go to bed. Happily. Downstairs. Alone. And lets rip up the contract. What?

I turn back around and make a face at him. Im serious GaEul. You were rightwe werent following it anyways. So why keep it? I think for a minute. There really is no reason for keeping it. Not if were going to try and figure out what this is. Actually, thats wrong. There is one reason to keep the contract. Okay. But, I still want a dog. I walk into my room, and I can hear him laughing. Chapter Twenty Seven I wake up the next morning elated, and proud. YiJung and I had an honest conversation, and it even lead to good things. We dont really know how we feel, but were going to give this a real chance. Its exciting and terrifying. What if it doesnt work out? Eep! Dont think about that GaEul! You havent gone on a first date yet! I take extra time getting ready, and immediately feel foolish. Hes already seen me at my worstsurely hell notice a difference today. I just hope he doesnt say anything. Stepping out into the living room, I see that YiJung isnt yet downstairs. Its early yet, I suppose. Hes made breakfast so often for me I should make something for him. Looking around, I see enough ingredients for a simple soup and rice. Not the best breakfast, but at least its better than cereal. I dont like cereal. I ate it too often in university. Im so engrossed in my cooking that I dont notice YiJung entering the room sometime later. Is my wife making me breakfast? He teases. I jump, startled when YiJung puts his head on my shoulder to see what Im making. Its downright adorable, but it seems too soon for this kind of intimacy. So I swat him away, and turn around to face him. Hm. He looks a little hurt; maybe I shouldnt have done that. I was just trying to do something nice, I say. Thanks, he replies stoically. What are we eating? Soy bean soup and rice. He makes a face. What? Nothing. Liar. Yah! YiJung! He hesitates before answering me. Its justnot my favorite food. Oh. He must see my disappointed expression because he quickly adds, But Im sure yours is good! No, its okay. We can have something elseIll just take it for lunch today. He brightens up a little and pulls out a box of cereal. Great. After him making a snit right now, I cant. Whoo, cereal it is.

Breakfast is over all too soon, and YiJung asks if he can drive me to work. Dont worry. I can take the subway. Are you sure? His face is scrunched up, and Im not sure if its in confusion or worry. Yep! Ive got time, and you probably have a million half-finished pieces at the studio. Just go. I smile and motion for him to go. It seems to work, he doesnt ask if he can drive me again. Alright. I should be back around five tonight, and well leave around six? He asks hopefully. I nod and say, Sounds good. YiJung moves towards my face, but stops himself. He waves his hand, dismissingly and looking embarrassed, says goodbye and hurries out of the apartment. What just happened? Was he trying to kiss me goodbye? No. That cant be possible, right? Im tempted to call him and ask, but my phone rings before I get the chance. Sigh. Its my mother. Hi Omma, I really should try to sound more enthusiastic. Are you busy? Way to cut to the chase Omma. Well, actually, Im cleaning up from breakfast, and then Ive got to run for work Great, she cuts me off. Youve got time. Er, no. I really dont. But, in her own little world Im sure I do nothing all day but sit around eating pasta waiting for YiJung to come home, and for her to phone me. How are things with YiJung? She asks. Fine. Great, Omma. I hope she cant hear me smile on the other end. That would be embarrassing, and only make her unbearably smug. You never called me after I stayed over last week, so I thought you might have had a fight. What? Where does she get this from??? Where in the human society does not receiving a phone call mean that a couple has had a fight??? No we didnt fight. I finish clearing the plates from breakfast, and grab my purse. I can talk to my mother on the way to work if I must. Good. Dont lose him GaEul. Hes a good man, and its absolutely beyond me, but he seems rather smitten with you. Hes the best youll ever do.

Um, thanks Omma If that wasnt the back hand compliment of the year, Im not sure what is. Youre welcome. Now. Down to business. Wait, you mean calling and criticizing me wasnt your main objective? Fantastic. Im a little scared to ask, but I do it anyways, What do you need Omma? Well,your father is going out of town again the day after tomorrow, so I was hoping I could stay a couple of nights. A COUPLE OF NIGHTS?!? Omma! I whine. I dont feel safe alone. Plus, itll be fun. Ill make all of YiJungs favorite foods. Just tell me what to make. Shit. I have no idea. Uhhh GaEul? Are you there? Yes Omma. What are YiJungs favorite foods? Tell me quickly. Beats me Omma. I dont know! Well, thats difficult to say, I falter. If I keep stalling shell have to give up. GaEul! Just tell me! She sounds exasperated. He likes so many things Ah! Forget it! Yes! Win for GaEul! But, she continues speaking. Ill just call him myself, and she hangs up before I can say goodbye. Shit. Shes calling YiJung?! Ive got to reach him before she does! My fingers fumble over the buttons as I hurry to dial. The call goes through, and it rings once. Twice. He picks up on the third ring. Miss me already? Yah! YiJung! This isnt the time for jokes! What is your favorite food? I sputter. What? I dont know what your favorite food is. I sound a little desperate. Oh. Its beef ribs. He laughs once and adds, thats an odd question to ask, isnt it GaEul? No, its not! I protest. We dont know anything about each other! How are we supposed to keep up this lie when we dont know anything about each other?!? Now, thats not true, he adds, trying to console me. Weve known each other for almost tenoh,

hold on. Ive got another call. Dont answer it! I shout. Its my mother! How do you knowoh. She started this, he says plainly. Started what? This mini crisis. He sounds amused. Jerk. And this isnt a mini crisis! Ha, ha, YiJung. I try to sound light. No. Not a mini crisis. GaEulllll, he stretches out my name in a warning tone. He reads me too well. Maybe hes right, and we do know more about each other than we let on. The short story is that my father is going out of town again, so my mother has invited herself over to our apartment again the day after tomorrow. She asked what your favorite foods are, and I couldnt answer her I trail off, slightly embarrassed. It sounds a lot more pathetic when I say it out loud like this. Is that all? Isnt it enough? I ask. How long is she staying? Just the night? He asks hopefully. Umtwo nights. I hear a long sigh on the other end, and its a little while before YiJung says anything again. I picture him on the other end, having pulled the car over on the side of the road so he can hit the steering wheel repeatedly in frustration. Okay. Two nights. Thats okay. Im sorry. Its not your fault your mother has astrong personality. Ha, poor boy. Hes straddling a close line here. He has to support me, but he also cant insult my mother directly. Truer words have never been said. He chuckles once at that. I suppose I should call her back, he finally says. Probably. Dont let her know we talked though; shell probably think were conspiring behind her back or something. I wont. Oh, and GaEul? Yes? You looked pretty this morning. He hangs up, naturally, before I can reply. So, he did notice. Hmph.

Work goes by quickly. Tuuli notices my good mood, and prods me for information. I tell her truthfully that Im going on a date with my husband and she rolls her eyes and mutters something about newlyweds. It is the truth. I just didnt tell her that it was a first date with my husband. I dont count our date before we married; its a bad memory and doesnt deserve to be remembered. Im fortunate enough not to see SeungHo today. I think about him occasionally, but my mind is so focused on our date tonight that hes not a big presence. I know Im going to have to deal with him later, but Lady Luck is smiling on me today. When I return home from work, Im tempted to take a nap, but I know I need to do a little grading, and I need to figure out what to wear for our date. We never talked about where were going. I pull out my phone. Ill take a hit on my pride so I dont look like a fool tonight. Yeah? YiJung answers on the first ring. Where are we going tonight? He sighs on the other end. Its a surprise. But I dont know what to wear. I pout, even if he cant see my face. GaEul, its four-thirty. I think youve got plenty of time to get ready. Just tell me! Ive got grading to do, so I wanted to lay out clothes. Hm, he stops speaking for a minute, probably considering if he should tell me or not. Dress casually. Casual? Is there something wrong with that? No. It just seems out of type for you. You dont know anything about me, remember? Arguh. Hes got me there. Wait, he says. Wear pants. Pants? Dont get me wrong, I like your legs GaEul, He likes my legs? But, you need pants to do what were doing tonight. Okay I sound doubtful. Dont question it. Just wear pants. Fine. See you later. Yep. He takes a breath. See you later And we hang up. At least he said goodbye to me this time.

Ill teach him some manners yet! I have no idea what we could be doing. I need pants? What could we be doing that I need pants for? If Im wearing pants, Im moving. Were doing something active? Okay. That could be fun. But whats active? He didnt say to wear exercise clothes, and really, that would be a weird date anyways. Are we going to ride horses? Ive always wanted to do that. But where are horses in Seoul? Im not sure there are any. Oof. I give up. I need to grade my students homework. That keeps me busy until YiJung comes home. He opens the door and I can feel my stomach get filled with butterflies. Butterflies are a good sign, right? YiJung tries to be quiet as he enters not wanting to disturb me, but honestly, I want to be disturbed. As much as I adore teaching, grading is awful. Plus, Im so excited and curious about this date that I couldnt concentrate much anyways. Have a good day? I ask. It was fine; nothing special. He responds. Do you need to shower or anything? I shake my head. Did it when I got home. Okay. He fidgets; apparently, hes as nervous and excited as I am. Its, um, a little after five so Im going to go upstairs and get changed. Okay. I set down my pens and get up from the table. Ill go do the same. Re-group in an hour? I nod, but I know that Ill end up sitting in my room for forty-five minutes waiting for him to finish getting ready. Oh well. Its the price to pay. We each walk into our rooms knowing that things wont ever be the same. Were starting something tonight, good or bad, and weve got to live with it. I just hope its good. Chapter Twenty Eight True to my thoughts, Im ready to go in just under fifteen minutes. Which means that I have forty-five minutes of pure agony in my room, while waiting for YiJung. Even worse is that my room isnt messy right now. So, I dont even have anything to busy myself with. Since YiJung said to wear pants, Ive settled for wearing a simple pair of khaki capris, a pink shirt and sandals. Comfortable, but not sloppy. Which, is how I look every day. At least I put a little more effort into my hair tonight. Its up in a loose, curly bun. Again, comfortable, but not sloppy. Do you see a pattern here? After pacing my room for what seems like hours, its finally five fifty-five. I decide thats close enough to six that I can go out. To my slight surprise YiJung is already waiting for me. Hes dressed down, as

well, wearing khakis, a polo shirt andsneakers? Weird. I didnt know he owned any right now. Ready to go? Of course! I smile, and he takes my hand, intertwining his fingers with mine. It seems strange for a first date, but were married so I let it slide. Plus, his hand feels nice in mine. Are you going to tell me where were going? I ask even though I know the answer. Nope. That ruins all the fun. He grins, and shuts our apartment door behind us. I dont have to wear a blindfold, do I? I ask only half in joking. YiJung looks at me, and raises one eyebrow. Thats a little kinky, dont you think? I make some sort of weird gasping embarrassed noise, and shut up until we get to his car. YiJung just laughs the whole way, never letting go of my hand. We make small chatter while he drives. I spend the first fifteen minutes trying to get our secret location out of him, but to no avail. Pah. If I had been the secret keeper, I would have cracked immediately. Either Im really good at getting people to tell secretsor, Im terrible at keeping them. I dont want to think about which option I am. After driving for nearly half an hour, we arrive at a small dock somewhere along the Han River in the city. What are we doing? I ask. Youll see. Come on out. We step out of the car, and taking my hand again, he leads me down the dock. Its just starting to become dark out, and the city lights shine brightly across the river. At the end of the dock, a small sailboat awaits us. This is why you needed pants, YiJung explains. Cant get into a boat in a skirt. He smiles, and helps me down. Its romantic, and I feel safe in his hands. I didnt know you sailed. Or owned a boat. I dont. YiJung shrugs. Borrowed it from a friend. But, sailing was something my mother taught me to do when I was young. He looks away from me. I havent gone out in years though. I see. I want to say so much more. I want to tell him how sweet this is. I want to tell him Im happy hes sharing a piece of his mother with me. I want to tell him how thankful I am. I want to tell him YiJung starts moving about the boat swiftly, untying knots and starting the motor just enough to get away from the dock before he turns it back off and lets the sail out. I stand helplessly and awkwardly in the way, knowing that even if I offered to help he wouldnt take it. Im sure hell teach me to sail one day, but tonight is just for showing off and impressing me. I dont tell him that its working.

There are few other boats out right now. If we were to keep going in either direction for long enough wed run into shipping vessels. But, YiJung just wants to take us out for a little tour. When weve gone far enough for him, he stops running around, and has me sit down on the side. Even though its becoming dark, the weather isnt too cold. Wait a minute. YiJung steps down into a small cabin inside and comes back out with a picnic basket. Dinner. My mouth drops open as he starts pulling out food. When did you have time to do this? I ask, amazed. He grins. Im an artist GaEul. I set my own work hours. He hands me a plate of what looks to be French food, but Im not really sure. Theres a salad, and meat with some sort of sauce, and oh, I dont know how to describe it. Its unlike anything Ive ever seen or eaten before, but Im excited to try it. Thanks. He sets up another plate for himself, and we eat comfortably, enjoying the view of the city from the river. Even though Ive lived here for my entire life, or nomaybe its because Ive lived here my entire life that I dont really appreciate the small things that make Seoul wonderful. I dont take the time to look, actually look at the scenery. I have my routine and I stick to it, never varying. Did you make this today? I point my fork at the food on my plate. YiJung nods. Is it alright? He asks, uncertainly. Its delicious, I smile, and he returns it. Youll have to teach me how to make it sometime. Okay. We both realize that were making future plans, but we dont comment, and instead just enjoy out peaceful night out together. We can talk about the future later. Is it alright out here on the boat? He asks me hesitantly. I wasnt sure you would like it. Its great, I say. Ive never been on a sailboat before, but I liked watching you move around like that. I could tell you enjoyed yourself. Yeah, I did. I had forgotten how much fun this can be. Thank you for sharing this with me. I let myself put my head on his shoulder. He tenses up for a moment, but then relaxes, and asks, whyd you kick me off this morning? What? You threw me off your shoulder this morning. Oh. Im not sure what to say. It surprised me. I was a little hurt, he admits. I felt bad afterwards.

Good. From my view on his shoulder I can see him grinning, just barely. I pick my head up and look at him squarely. Did you try to kiss me this morning? What? Im not sure if hes in denial, or if hes just confused like I was seconds ago. When you left for work, I explain. You leaned into me, almost as if you were going to kiss me goodbye. Oh. That. He says. Yes that, I tease. I really do want an answer from him. Maybe? He finally says, and I notice him blushing slightly. Youre embarrassed. I say. You werent supposed to ask me about this, YiJung replies as he looks in the other direction. Pah. Just tell me. No. Come on. Admit it. Admit what? Hes still not looking at me, but Im sure hes smiling. His tone is happy and light. Weve fallen in this routine of happy banter almost like a real married couple. The kiss, I make kissing noises behind his back. Its not at all dignified, but I want to annoy YiJung a little bit. The noises seem to do the trick. He jerks his head back around and stares at me, my face contorted, and looking absurd, Im sure. You know what I wanted to do? YiJung asks me. What? I breathlessly say as my heart starts to beat faster, the butterflies in my stomach awakening. This, he says as he leans in to kiss me. I close my eyes in anticipation. It seems strange that were so okay with this, but it feels natural. Like Ive been waiting all my life for this moment, and now that its here, Im not sure what Im going to do afterwards. I can feel YiJungs breath on my face, and I wait patiently. Only to be disappointed as he kisses my cheek. I crack open one eye, and hes about three inches from myface ready to burst out laughing. That? I croak out. That. He says with an air of finality.

I dont think I like that. Are you disappointed? He asks, jokingly. I nod instinctively, and as I realize it, I try shaking my head. But, its too late. YiJungs seen my head nod. Theres only one way to solve this without further embarrassment to me. I quickly lean in and kiss YiJung on the lips. He doesnt seem particularly surprised, but instead grabs my hand again, and twirls our fingers together. I hesitate for a moment after I realize that Ive got food breath, but then again, so does YiJung. And I dont think he minds all that much. I dont let him take control in our kiss, and I think hes glad, for once, to let me take the lead. If our first kiss was passion, and the second was safety, this is comfort. Its not a lazy kiss, but its not passionate either. Were...itsits a first date kiss. And because its a first date kiss, it ends too soon. We sit back, look at our long forgotten plates and grin. The mood isnt awkward per say but, were not sure what to say either. Im about five seconds from telling YiJung a knock-knock joke, when he says, Want to make the boat sail? Im not going to lie, I grin. I was hoping you would. I thought tonight was going to be about YiJung showing off, but Im glad to be wrong. He patiently spends the next hour showing me how to move the sail in the direction of the wind, how to steer the rudder, and how to stop the boat. Its hard, but by the end of it he says Im good. I tell him I want to keep practicing. Okay, he says. Well buy a boat. For a second my heart panics and I think about the money. Even though were married, I still forget that he has money. We have money. I dont want to spend his, but I guess its good that its there just in case. He takes over the boat to get us back to the dock. I check my phone for the time as he runs about the deck, trying to make the boat move faster. Its almost ten-thirty. Weve been out for over four hours, but it doesnt feel like any time has gone by. I dont want to go back. I dont want this night to end. I dont want I dont want this marriage to end. Oh shit. Does this mean Im in love with my husband? Thinking it over, it seems to make sense. I wake up, and I want to do nice things for YiJung. Work used to be the happiest time in my day. Now its when I get to see him in the mornings, and in the evenings. The butterflies seem to dictate my life, appearing when he appears, and leaving when he leaves. I love the way he laughs at me for being dense and clumsy. I love that he tries to do nice things for me. I love that he has found success in a job that you dont find success in. I love that he lets me do things that I enjoy so I can be my own person. I love that on the weekends he walks around with bed head for

hours. I love that he stays in more than he goes out now. I love that hes cranky in the evenings. I love that hes got a mole on his ear you can only see when hes just stepped out of the shower. I love the way he felt on top of me when we were in bed. I love the way our hands look when theyre together. Ive got it bad. I cant deny it. Im absolutely, completely and utterly in love with my husband. Stupid JiHoo! You were right! YiJung gets the boat back tied to the dock, and asks me, Are you okay? Yeah. Im fine. Im just in love for the first real time in my life, and Im not sure what to do about it. The idea of loving YiJung last week was terrifying, but tonight it seemsokay. I dont know what to do about this information, but I no longer feel like my world is going to crumple down in front of my eyes. Hes a different man than he was five years ago. Im a different woman from what I was five years ago. Maybe were ready for this. I dont need to call in my court of law to figure this out. Maybe YiJung loves me. Maybe he doesnt. But, I think I can wait to find out. We had a nice outing tonight, and thats all I need right now. GaEul? YiJung waves his hand in front of my face. Are you okay? Were back at the dock He points to our surroundings. I laugh and try to shake it off. Oh, I was just spacing out. Thanks for the evening.He helps me out of the boat, and we walk hand in hand back to his car. We dont talk while he drives back home, and instead listen to the radio. I dont know what it is, some instrumental song that doesnt sound classical. As much as I enjoy music, I dont know much about it. Its a good thing I dont have to teach my students music. Our apartment looks exactly the same. I wasnt expecting it to be different, but maybe after a night like this I was hoping it would. Or, maybe it should look different. I had a terrific first date with my husband, and I had a realization for the ages. The world, after tonight, should look like roses. YiJung speaks, and shakes me out of my thoughts. Thanks for coming out with me tonight GaEul. YiJung suddenly looks shy, and I forget that he was ever a playboy. Like this, he looks like a fourteen year old on his first date ever. It makes me feel special. I smile, and try to look as shy as he does. I had a really nice time. Me too. My confession has emboldened him somewhat. He seems happier. We should do it again.

I nod enthusiastically. Yes, definitely. Then, he says. Goodnight GaEul. He leans in and kisses me softly and runs upstairs leaving me shocked in the living room, but not before laughing and saying, Thats what I wanted to do this morning. Well, shucks. Chapter Twenty Nine Im a mess of emotions the next morning. I go from what was quite possibly the best date of my life, to a nervous wreck over what will happen next. My mind is fuzzy and Im nervous queasy. What I know so far? YiJung likes me in some fashion. Im in love with YiJung. Were married. And were testing out a real relationship. Oh boy. Then to top it all off, my mother is coming to stay again tomorrow. Part of me thinks shes making excuses so that YiJung and I will have to sleep in the same bed. But, lets not go there. Thats a worry for tomorrow. Since when did my life get so complicated?!? Oh, right. The second So YiJung stepped into it. I throw off my heavy bed sheets, and pull on the first clothes I spot in my dresser. I really wish I didnt have to go to work this morning; staying in bed all day sounds much better. The face in the mirror doesnt look like me, either. This girl has heavy tired bags under her eyes, skin with no color, and messy hair that wont lay flat. This doesnt look like a girl whos in love; this looks like a girl who stays up late worrying. Sigh. I try my best to make my hair stay down, and to put some color on my cheeks. I feel so different from yesterday. Yesterday I was nervous and excited. Today, Im nervous and tired. Theres a gentle knock on my door, and I say, Coming. Taking one last look in the mirror, I shake my head, grab my bag and enter into the world. Or, just my living room. Immediately YiJung asks, Are you alright? You dont look good. My heart leaps out to him. Has he always been this considerate? I knew there was a reason I was in love with my husband. Oh, yeah. Im okay. He doesnt look convinced. Lemme see. He walks over, sticks out his tongue as he concentrates on taking my temperature, using his hand against my forehead. Its all very scientific, Im sure.

GaEul! He gasps. Youre burning up! Hes giving me the stink eye, as if I lied to him on purpose. No, Im okay. Really. I protest as I move to the door. He holds out his arm, and stops me from moving forward. Youre not going to school. I have to. You really dont. I do. Youre going to get the students sick. To be fair, one of them probably got me sick in the first place, I argue. Ha! He looks smug. You just admitted youre sick. Come on, to the couch. He puts his hand on my lower back, rips my purse from my hands and guides me to the couch. Its all very intimate. I lay down while he runs upstairs. He returns a minute later with a comforter and a pillow. I dont quite understand why he didnt just grab mine, but Im too tired to question him. Mmm, they smell good. Food. You need food. And water. YiJung wanders off into the kitchen, muttering to himself. I crack a smile. Hes treating me as if I were our not-yet-gotten puppy, instead of his wife. Its kind of adorable to see him so panicked. Not that hes panicked about me. Theres no reason to be. He comes scurrying back into the room with a glass of orange juice, and some rice. Delicious? Sorry, he apologizes, but I wasnt sure how you felt. Im not very hungry anyways. I reply. I scrunch my feet up and he sits down on the end of the couch. Before you leave, I begin, could you find me some aspirin? Ah! Aspirin! I knew I forgot something! He moves to stand up, but I grab his arm. He looks at me, alarmed. Its okay, I say. I dont need it now, just sometime. He relaxes and sits back down, his face flushed. Are you sure? Absolutely. I shoo him with my hands. You should get ready for work. Work? I thought you said you had some meetings today about the new show. He mentioned it to me a few days earlier; he thought he was almost ready to have another, and had made some calls to various galleries interested in showing his work.

I can cancel them, he says seriously. Dont be ridiculous. But YiJung, its just a cold. You should meet with these people. Theyre more important than me. No theyre not. He protests. What? I hear him putter around upstairs while I pick at my rice. Really, YiJung? Orange juice and rice? I know we dont have a lot of food here, but the combination is gross. YiJung returns, and hands me a bottle of aspirin. I say thanks, before swallowing two with the orange juice. Bleh. Damn. He still looks concerned. Its fine. Go to work. Are you sure? Is that your final answer? I think hes trying to imitate the guy from that American Millionaire game show, but its not a very good impression. Dont worry so much. Its just a cold! I need time to think about what you said earlier, anyways, mister. He stands up from the couch, takes two steps, and looks back at me, as if doubting his decision. I shoo him away again, and he takes a few more steps before looking back once more. Have you seen that old movie Harry and the Hendersons? A family finds Bigfoot, and some stuff happens, but in the end they have to release him back into the wild. Harry doesnt want to leave, you see, so the father has to tell him that they dont want him anymore. And Harrys depressed facewell, YiJung looks a little like that. So, I throw a pillow at him and laugh. Im fine! Get to work! Ill be here when you get back. YiJung smiles, throws the pillow back at me, takes another long look, and finally leaves the apartment. On his way out the door, YiJung turned on the television. I stare blankly at the screen, not processing whats on in front of me. Im not even sure if Im watching a program, or the news. A woman is holding a gun, and there are two cops trying to arrest her. I think. Somewhere in the middle of figuring out whats going on, I fall asleep. And dont wake up until theres a loud knocking at the door later in the day. I struggle to get off the couch, but once standing I feel moderately better. Although I feel better, the front door is an awfully long way away. Its all of twenty feet. Maybe thirty. I dont consider much of who it can be. Not YiJung. That I am aware of.

Hello? My voice is groggier than usual. I open the door to see a concerned looking JiHoo holding takeout. I hope its soup. He holds up the containers and says, YiJung said you didnt feel well. YiJungs a liar, I retort. I dont think so. He pushes past me into the apartment, leaving me holding open a door for no one. You look and sound terrible. He gives me the once over with his eyes, and makings a tsking noise. What are you waiting for? Go back to the couch. Thanks. Youre so kind. I stick out my tongue immaturely, andlisten to his directions. Im too tired to disobey, and so I head back to the couch. Ah, come to me still warm blanket. Wait. JiHoo and YiJung talked today? Thats kind of cute. And deserving of some probing questions on my part. So you talked to YiJung this morning? I begin. Do this often? What? JiHoo sticks his head out the kitchen door with an oven mitt in one hand. Do we talk often? Of course. He furrows his eyebrows, like my question is the dumbest thing hes heard all day, which it might be. We talk every day. Every day? Wow. Did you not know that? He shouts from the kitchen. No, I return. He never told me. Oh. Well, now you know. So he told you I was sick. What else did YiJung say? I hum to myself, as if Im playing this casually, and not really paying attention, even though Im hanging on every word he says. JiHoo laughs quietly, and says, Im not sure Im supposed to answer. Weve got the brotherhood to think about. Brotherhood? JiHoo returns from the kitchen with two bowls of soup, and sets them on the coffee table nearby. Yes! Soup! He gestures for me to eat some, and pulling the warm bowl into my lap, I take a spoonful. I dont know what its in it, but its soothing. Were the F4! Of course were all brothers. You cant betray that kind of trust, GaEul. He says the words seriously, but I think hes joking. Or, half joking. Hmph. JiHoo senses my disappointment because he says next, but I might be able to give some hints. Yes, you better, JiHoo. YiJung mentioned something about a boat? Hes asking the question, but Im sure JiHoo knows all about our date.

Did you know YiJung knew how to sail? I ask in return. He told me that. Stop playing coy JiHoo. It might be because my mind is fuzzy, or maybe its because I need a confidant, but I do something stupid next. I blurt out, I think I might be in love with YiJung, and immediately regret it. What? JiHoo makes some sort of gasping noise and Im momentarily worried hes choking on the soup. Is that even possible? Last night, I say. I think I realized that Im in love with YiJung, and now I dont know what to do. JiHoo blinks his eyes and just stares at me, trying to figure out lord knows what. Hello? I wave my hands in front of his face. Are you there? I just said something monumental. Now would be the time to let me know Im not a complete idiot. But, he just concentrates some more. Finally, he heaves a big sigh, and says, GaEul, I think you need to talk to YiJung. What? I cant do that! That would involvetalking! JiHoo laughs, and says, What are you so afraid of? Does he not get it? He might not love me back. I whisper. I curl up my legs on the couch, suddenly wanting to stop this conversation. I dont want my heart to be broken again. My confidence from last night seems to have disappeared. Id like to get it back. Always the voice of reason JiHoo remarks, Hes a different person now. I know that, I say exasperated. But, I cant get that little voice out of my head that says he isnt. Its so stupid. I shake my head softly, and try to think of something, anything, to change the topic with. I dont want to keep talking. So, how have you been? I ask, trying to get out of these dangerous waters. I busy myself with eating the soup JiHoo brought me. He leaves his untouched. Thats it then? He asks. Youre not going to try? I cant, I feebly mumble. Youre a coward, GaEul. JiHoo scowls at me, and I know hes disappointed. I dont say anything because there isnt anything to say. JiHoo is right. We both know it. Lifes too short, GaEul. He sighs. When youve got something special, you cant waste it. As I begin to speak, my voice cracks, and I can feel tears welling in the corner of my eyes. ImIm not feeling too well JiHoo, I think Im going to get some sleep. I set the bowl back on the table, stretch out my legs, and turn my head into the couch, away from JiHoos knowing eyes.

Im so good at taking one step forward and two steps back. Another sigh. Alright. But, think about what Ive said, okay? Just sit down and talk with the man. I nod, even though its pointless; I cant seem to get any more words out. Even though the soup was helping, my throat suddenly feels dry, and my fever takes hold of me again. I hear JiHoo stand up, and let himself out of the apartment. YiJung wakes me up when he returns from his meetings later in the afternoon. I open my eyes, and hes resting a hand on my forehead, trying to determine if my temperature has gone down at all. The first thing he asks is, were you crying? I shake my head; I dont want to talk about JiHoo. Just allergies or something. He nods, silently and doesnt ask anything else on the subject. Are you hungry? A little. I admit. Is take out okay? I dont feel like cooking. He makes a face and I smile. How were your meetings? Did you choose a gallery? He nods once more. A smaller one on the river; our boat ride inspired me. YiJung grins, clearly excited. Im sure if I were a little more awake, he would spend hours telling me all about it. And Id spend hours listening about it. I look forward to seeing it. We stay quiet on the couch, me lying down, him still resting his hand on my forehead until my phone rings. YiJung breaks our gaze, and hands it to me. Ill go change and order some food, he says as he walks upstairs. The number on my phone is one I dont recognize, but I pick it up anyway. Hello? You didnt come to school today; I was a little disappointed. An all too familiar, unwelcome voice answers me. SeungHo? Yep. Its me, he says. Whyd you call? I ask tersely. I want nothing to do with this man. The sooner I can get this phone call over with, the better. I wanted to hear your voice, he responds. We didnt get to talk the other day at school, and I missed you. What do you want? My voice rises, and I can feel myself getting angry, and frustrated.

You know what I want. SeungHo laughs to himself. I certainly dont think this is funny. If you think calling me at home, and telling me you want aI lower my voice purposefully just so YiJung cant hear it upstairs, affairis the right way to win me over, youre wrong SeungHo. Ive always been direct GaEul. You used to like that about me. Not anymore. I say. People change, he retorts. Yes, they do. Ive changed SeungHo. Im married. But are you happy? He laughs again, and I hang up the phone before he can say anything more. I curl up my legs on the couch to comfort myself. I cant decide if this really has been an emotional day, or if my cold is getting to me more than I hoped. Im not going to let him get to me. Im not going to let him get to me. Im not going to let him get to me. I hear YiJung coming down the stairs, and he immediately looks over at me. You okay? He asks. Uh, yeah. I say. Just got chilled, all of a sudden. I crack a smile. Who was that just now? He walks into the kitchen to find some plates and cups. Oh, just a co-worker, I feign. Wanted to make sure I wasnt dying or something. Its not a complete lie, I tell myself. Its not even really a lie. SeungHo is a co-worker. And he did want to see how I was doing. All Im doing is omitting certain facts that arent important. Yes. Thats what Im doing. Well, the food should be here in twenty minutes, or so. He whistles quietly, as if hes treading dangerous waters and isnt sure what he should say or do. Okay. I sit up, and make room on the couch for him. He doesnt sit down, however. Your mothers coming tomorrow? He asks. Unfortunately, yes. YiJung snorts. Im not sure you should talk about your mother that way. What way? I ask innocently. Uh-huh, he says, Im onto you Ms. GaEul. You may be cute and have those big eyes, but I know your game. I gulp. Im cute? I mean to sound stronger than that, but the question comes out timidly.

What? YiJung jerks his head to look directly at me. Im cute? I ask once more. This time I do sound a little more confidant. You know you are, he jokes, trying to lighten the mood. And Ive got big eyes? The first time I saw you, he begins, I thought you were a bug. Your eyes are that big, GaEul. I spurt out laughing. Damn. I thought we were having a serious moment, and then he says that. YiJung laughs, too. I got you good! He asserts. Just you wait until tomorrow, YiJung. You wont be so confidant then. I stick out my tongue, and he stops laughing immediately. Thats not a fair threat, GaEul. Your mothershes terrifying. His eyes are wide, and he does look a little frightened. Oh come on, I playfully hit his arm, shes not that bad. My mother adores you. Thats the problem, he sounds like hes off in a far distant place. She expects so much of me, and when I inevitably let her downits going to be bad. He shudders, and if he wasnt so serious, Id laugh at him. As it is, however, I just wave a hand in front of his face, getting his attention. You cant disappoint her, I say, trying to be comforting. She already knows about your philandering past. Hey! He shouts. I merely laugh. Well, I guess youre feeling a little bit better. I am, I say with a smile. I try to mean it, but I can't help but recall SeungHo's phone call. Chapter Thirty I'm awake before YiJung the next morning, much to his surprise. By 7:30 am, I'm already dressed and calmly reading the newspaper while eating leftovers from the night before. You're up early, he remarks as he sits down next to me, takes my spoon from my hand and helps himself to my soup. Hey--, but YiJung cuts me off. We're married. What's mine is yours, and what's yours is mine. Right? He winks and takes another spoonful. I'm stunned, but I don't say anything. If he wants to get sick off of my cold, go right on ahead. Let me get another spoon. I set down the newspaper and fetch another spoon from the kitchen.

YiJung holds out his hand, as if I got it for him, but instead I use it myself. He looks a little disappointed. Ha! Feeling better? He cocks his head to one side and raises an eyebrow as if studying me meticulously. Yeah, I think so. I keep eating the soup, and YiJung stops as if he just realized I was sick yesterday, and us eating from the same bowl is going to also get him sick. You think so? Lemme see. He sets his hand on my forehead, and it seems to comfort him. Doesn't feel warm. I don't feel warm, I say. I feel fine. Are you sure you want to go back to work? Yep. I nod my head and continue eating my breakfast. You could take another day off... YiJung says. I can't keep taking days off of work, I say. If I take any more off I might as well quit. Well, we don't really need the money,... No. I firmly say. I like working. Okay, YiJung responds and he lets the subject go. Let me just change my clothes, he says, and then we can go. He stands up and heads for the stairs. I can take the bus, I begin. GaEul, we've had this conversation I don't know how many times. It's not a big deal for me to take you there. Yesterday you were running a feverI'm taking you to work. But-- No buts GaEul. Hold on for a minute, and we can go. Hmph. I reluctantly head into my room, grab my jacket and purse and wait for YiJung to return. When he does return, I do a double take. He's wearing a suit, like almost everyday, but today, boy does he make it look good. Okay, I'm a little biased, but still. He knows what looks good on him, and he works it. If he wasn't so damn smart, he could be a model. Drooling, GaEul? He sticks out his tongue and I shut my mouth. Turning away, I wipe away the bit

of drool from around my mouth. YiJung just snickers. I don't say anything else as we head to his car. It's a good thing I'm driving you there and back, he says. If your mother shows up early, I have an excuse to escape. This earns a glare from me. I mean, he adds, to politely leave. He turns on the car and revs the engine before I can say anything else. We listen to some morning radio program as we drive. I don't pay much attention to whats being said, but every once in a while YiJung laughs. He's enjoying it. When we arrive, I can see Tuuli and SeungHo are waiting out front of the school. But, whether they're waiting for me, or just something to happen, I don't know. Are those your friends? YiJung asks, and I'm not sure how to answer. Oh, that's our exchange teacher, I say avoiding the question. And her boyfriend? He asks innocently. Um...I don't know. Maybe. He's pretty new. I can feel sweat forming on my face, and I feel a knot tighten in my stomach. I know it's not lying per say, but it's not honest, either. Well, they look good together, YiJung nods decisively, and I step out of the car. Tuuli waves energetically at me. Thanks for the ride, I awkwardly stammer as I pray Tuuli and SeungHo don't walk over here. Anytime. Have a good day. Love you, bye. Love you too. I automatically say before I shut the door. YiJung starts the car, and I walk two steps away before it sets in. We just said I love you. What the hell?! I turn my head back, but YiJung is already out of the parking lot. There's no way I'm going to try to catch him. OH. MY. GOD. We just said that we love each other. Well, technically, he said it first, and I just responded. But, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. What am I going to do when I get home??!

Stop it, GaEul. Don't panic. Keep it under control. Maybe...maybe he meant it as a joke. He must have. YiJung doesn't love me. And...and I just responded like it was a joke. Or maybe he said it because we were in public. We're a real married couple in public, so he was just acting, and it was just acting when I said it back. Yes. That's got to be the answer. I mean, what kind of guy says 'I love you' for the first time to a girl as she's leaving his car to go to work??? That's probably the least romantic situation possible. He'd have to be the world's most clueless man to do that. Shit. Did he do that??? Is it possible for YiJung to have meant it??? Why, oh why? I'm going to think and over think about this all day. What time am I going to see YiJung again? 3:00 pm? That's so long from now! I'm supposed to work, dammit! How can I do that when I definitely just told YiJung I love him, and he might have done the same?!?! Arguh! I shake my head to clear my thoughts and hesitantly walk over to Tuuli and SeungHo. How are you feeling? Tuuli puts her hand on my forehead and nods slowly. You're a little flushed, she says knowingly. Do you feel okay? Okay? I might have just told my biggest secret to the one person who couldn't know, but other than that I'm okay. I'm fine, I say, trying to stop her from worrying. Maybe I'm just stressed? My mother is coming over tonight. Tuuli doesn't say anything more. It's been so long since I've seen your omma, GaEul. SeungHo smiles and for a second I don't hate him. He was always charming that way. I hope you give her my good wishes. Wahyou met GaEul's parents?! Tuuli looks shocked. She looks between the two of us. GaEul! She grabs my arm and drags me away from SeungHo. I'd be grateful if I wasn't a little fearful my lies were beginning to catch up with me. SeungHo, for his part, just waves goodbye. GaEul! SeungHo met your parents?!? You didn't tell me that! Shit. She looks a little angry...and probably rightly so. We were a little more serious than I told her.

Okay. Maybe a lot more serious. It wasn't a big deal, I begin, but she interrupts me. I may be a foreigner, she says, but when a boyfriend meets the parents it is a big deal, Tuuli says firmly. She's staring at me, waiting for an answer. I, I, I was embarrassed, I say. We dated for a year, and he did meet my parents. They liked him, even. But, SeungHo and I didn't work out, and you seemed to like him so much...and,... And? she asks. Oh gosh. There's so much hurt in her eyes. And I didn't want you to to dislike him because of what happened with us. If you want to like him, you should. Don't let me influence you. I finish, and it feels like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. Maybe this truth telling isn't such a terrible thing after all. That's all? She laughs. It was stupid of you to lie, but I'm a big girl, GaEul. If I want to date someone you've dated, I will. You don't need to protect me. Oh. I look down at my feet sheepishly. But, just so you know, I don't like SeungHo. He's nice...but there's something weird about him. I don't want to say so, but it's almost creepy. She laughs again. Oh. Why would you care anyways? You've got Mister Perfect Husband waiting at home for you. She winks and waves goodbye. Yes. I've got the perfect husband at home. Who's a complete lie. Sigh. I trod down the hall to my classroom, and start pulling out the necessary supplies for the day. My students enter shortly after, and I get to work. Somehow, I make it through the day. It feels like the longest day in the world, but I do it anyways. I'm starting to feel bad for my students; they get a distracted teacher almost every day. But can you blame me? If you had told the boy you love that you loved him accidentally, I think you'd be distracted all day too. And now I'm just feeling queasy and nervous. We're going to have to talk about it in the car, and oh gosh, what if he doesn't feel the same?

Yeah, he said it, but he was probably just keeping up our public appearance. Throwing my purse strap over my shoulder, I tramp outside and search for YiJung's car. Ah, of course. He's parked in the far back of the lot. Just so I have to walk the maximum distance, and to think about this just that much more. We said I love you. Even though he parked so far away, it doesn't take nearly enough time to reach his car. I was hoping for at least ten minutes, and instead it was...three. Damn. I wave tentatively at the car, and the door opens,...and out steps...my mother? Hi Omma,... I sound confused. I probably shouldn't. GaEul! Hurry on in! You don't know how long YiJung and I have been waiting. She waves her hands in an effort to hurry me. Oh boy. This could get awkward. I get in the car behind YiJung and he silently salutes me with his hand as a greeting. I try to give him a look that says I'm sorry for being alone with my mother, but I'm not sure he gets it. What time did you come, Omma? I ask innocently. YiJung sighs from the front of the car as he starts driving. Yikes. She's been here too long. Around noon. I wanted to bring lunch to YiJung. Oh. Three hours alone with my mother. It must have been torture. I'm going to have to make it up to him somehow. I try to mouth 'I'm sorry' to YiJung, but he's concentrating on the road, and not looking at me through the mirror. That was...nice of you Omma. I lamely say. I struggle to think of things to say while we drive. YiJung is so suspiciously silent that it makes me wonder if he's angry with me. Or, with my mother. Or, both. Is there anything you'd like to do tonight? I ask my mother. Just make you two lovebirds dinner, she responds and I grimace. Our 'I love yous' from this morning have not escaped my mind. You sure you don't want to go out to eat? I ask again. GaEul, wait until you see the apartment. YiJung jumps in the conversation. She's brought enough food to feed the entire Republic.

Hush now, YiJung. It's not that much, my mother dismisses. It really is, YiJung says under his breath. We arrive home, and YiJung practically runs upstairs to ourno, hisroom. I take a quick peek in the kitchen and can see that literally every pot we own is being used by my mother. I didn't know she knew this many recipes. Omma! You're going overboard! I cry. Nonsense. If you want a happy husband, you've got to cook happy food. And we both know cooking isn't your strong suit. She smiles serenely, and goes to tend her pots in the kitchen. Hmph. I pout. I think I've been doing just fine. Except for the kimchi soup. But, she doesn't know that. Well, are you going to keep standing there, or are you going to give me some help? My mother has her hand on her hip, and has somehow managed to already smear some sort of sauce on her face. I sigh and find an apron to put on, and give her help. Over the next three hours I'm pushed and pulled, ordered around and yelled at. My mother, demanding as she is, really does know how to cook proper food. As much as I've been her assistant, I have learned a few new things, so that's not so bad. YiJung came downstairs the second hour into our cooking marathon, and instead of helping like a nice person, he stood at the door of the kitchen and laughed at me. This, of course, earned him several kicks, two spoonfuls of rice in the face and one large hit. He's actually a little bit battered...I hope no one thinks I'm abusing him regularly. Occasionally he does deserve it. But, every time I hit YiJung, my mother hits me. So, it's not all that fair, really. I look just as battered as he does. Somehow, our meal gets done. To be honest, if we don't eat more than we have in our entire lives, I don't think we'll be able to get the leftovers to fit inside our refrigerator. Thanks Omma, YiJung says in between rubbing the back of his sore head. It looks amazing, Omma. I say. Our table is filled with different kinds of vegetables, soups, noodles and meats. She's got a mini grill in one corner, so that the food stays hot. It's...amazing, actually. My heart swells with pride. Only to have her squash it. I hope someday you'll be able to cook like this GaEul, she sighs into her plate. It would be terrible for my grandchildren to be malnourished, and to only know of take-out. YiJung makes a choking

noise. We're not having children right now, I say through gritted teeth, and YiJung makes another choking noise. I didn't want to tell you this, but,... my mother makes a dramatic gesture with her hand, I went to the doctor last week. He said I don't have long to live. I roll my eyes. How long Omma? She mumbles something, and YiJung and I can't understand her. What did you say? Another mumble, and I start to worry. What if it's really serious? He said I,... Omma! Spit it out! He said I've got another twenty years. YiJung chokes again, this time because he's trying not to laugh. I gently kick him under the table and he shuts up. Mostly. Omma! Don't make me worry like that! Well, it's the truth! Twenty years isn't too long! I want to be able to enjoy my beautiful grandchildren, and not be a cripple! I'm about to start yelling when YiJung steps in. Omma, we haven't been married for long, he says, ever the voice of reason. GaEul and I are just settling into our married life. We know you want grandchildren, but it's just too soon for us to start thinking about that. We want sometime to enjoy being a couple without children. He bows his head, as if ready to accept a hit from either of us. My mother, instead, just stares at him, and says, okay, quietly. I look up, and my eyes meet YiJungs. His eyes ask me if he's ruined everything, and mine tell him it'll be fine. He looks a little more relieved. The three of us sit there, not saying a word, and it occurs to me that this has become horrendously awkward. So, I try to fix it. YiJung's thinking of having an art show pretty soon, did you know that Omma? She grunts, he told me that earlier this afternoon. It's kind of exciting though, isn't it? I try again.

Not as exciting as holding a child in your arms, she responds stiffly. Well, there goes my attempt. The three of us finish eating our meal in silence, and then pick up in silence. Somehow, the food does manage to fit in our refrigerator, and afterwards my mother says that it's getting late and we should all be going to bed. It's 7:30. She pushes YiJung and I toward the stairs, and plops herself in front of the television. When I ask why she's staying up, she says that because she's old, she doesn't need sleep. Sigh. We walk upstairs and I fall back on the bed, ruining the nice cover YiJung had made. He peers over me and says, that was quite possibly the worst dinner I've ever had. I can't help but laugh. I'm sorry; I didn't know she would be this bad, I say. She's pretty stubborn, isn't she? Well, at least we know where you inherited it from. He grins. Hey now, that's not fair! To you at least. YiJung laughs, and I try to kick him with my leg, but I can't quite reach. Our laughing subsides, and I realize. This is the first time YiJung and I have been alone since this morning when we said...that. My breathing slows down, and I can feel my heart beating nervously against my ribcage. I'm not sure what to do, or what to say. Should I deny everything, or should I confess? Should I say something first, or after him? Should I pretend I have no idea what he's talking about? He seems to realize it too. His breathing is slower too, and he's staring down at me, his stupid eyes piercing mine. I want to know what he's thinking. I want to know what to do. I'm about to deny it all when he says, GaEul, we need to talk. Chapter Thirty One I sit straight up in bed, petrified. Hastily, I try to speak. To talk? I ask, through cracks in my voice. YiJung breathes deeply, and composes himself before he sits down on the bed next to me, a little too close for comfort. If there was any space between me and the edge of the bed, I'd scoot over, but, alas, it's not so. Yeah, he says nervously. We need to talk.

Okay, I say, trying to sound more confidant than I feel. What do we need to talk about? If it's my motherI'm sorry. We can tell her to go stay at a friend's house tomorrow, or, I can go stay with her at my parent's house, or, we can think of something else, or--- I'm cut off speaking, by YiJung placing a finger on my lips. He shakes his head slowly, as if he can't quite believe me. GaEul. Yes? I ask timidly. I love you. We're making eye contact, and I don't want to look away. I can't believe I messed up this morning, and told you in the car. He shakes his head and laughs softly. Talk about unromantic. It was a complete accident. I wanted to take you out, and give you some grand gesture, but instead, you get an 'I love you' on the way to work. He looks away and shrugs sheepishly. I'm staring at the side of his face, aghast. You love me? I ask. YiJung grins and nods slowly. I didn't think I would fall for you again, but,...I did. Again? Now I'm really surprised. Did I never tell you when we were together last time? He looks just as surprised. No. I say. Oh. We're heading down this road, I might as well take it head on. What happened back then anyways? You never told me. We were together for three months, and then you send me a text saying you're on a plane back to Sweden? That was kind of an asshole move. I sound mean, but I'm not angry. My anger over our past has dissipated long ago. Now I'm just curious. That was kind of an asshole move. I'm sorry. YiJung stretches his arms out, and ponders before answering my question. I think I was scared, he says. You wanted more than I could give, and then I realized I loved you, and my mother became sick, and... he trails off, thinking. It became too much for me. I didn't want to pressure you, I say. I know you didn't. Maybe it wasn't even you, who pressured me. Maybe it was JunPyo, or WooBin, or my mother, or any number of things. It felt like,...it felt like,... Like your world was caving in. I finish his sentence.

Yeah, he finally responds. Like my world was caving in. He pauses and continues, I didn't want you giving me these pity looks while I just waited for my mother to kill herself. So I just had to get away for a while. WooBin and JiHoo used to send me texts and e-mails about how hurt you were, which just made it even worse. I knew I was being dumb, but I couldn't escape it. They sent you stuff? At least once a day, he says. Sometimes more. I never knew they were watching out for me. My body feels a little numb. I'm sorry I hurt you so much, he says as he takes my hand gently. I've said it a thousand times, but I don't mean it any less. You deserve so much more than me, so if you want to get divorced at the end of our contract I won't hold it against you. What? Divorce?!? I quickly look over at YiJung. He's slumped over, holding my hand as if his life depended on it. He's got the expression of a puppy in trouble again. Why would I want to get a divorce? I ask. Because you can't forgive me. He just sounds like he's resigned to the fact that he's going to be alone for the rest of his life now. I'm not angry, I say. But you can't forgive me. He says more firmly. People change, YiJung. You're not the same person you were back then. You're stronger now. You're sitting here in front of me, telling me that you want to try. That's different. Oh. Well, you still don't love me like I love you. What? Why would he--? I give him a quizzical look, and he explains, you never told me you love me. He stutters a little, Er, well, you said something this morning, but I think you were just acting... YiJung trails off, and he looks at me, as if he's afraid to hope. Ah. I should fix that. I lean over, and give him a quick kiss that takes him by surprise. As I pull away I whisper, I love you more than you'll ever know. I've been carrying this secret around for weeks, and I'm so glad I can share it with my best friend now. YiJung grins into my face, kisses me more deeply, and after that there isn't a whole lot of talking.

When I open my eyes the next morning, YiJung is still asleep. This time, he's the one snuggled up to me. His stupid hair is in his face, making his right eye twitch. I try to brush it away with my hand, praying I won't wake him up. It keeps re-falling, and eventually, it does wake him up a few minutes later. Good morning, I whisper as I plant a kiss on his forehead. Morning, he responds with his scratchy tired voice. What day is it? A work day. I say. He doesn't laugh, but instead grunts and rolls over. I lean over him and say, Time to get up mister. You maybe have to get up, YiJung says, but I'm not on any schedule. I'm tired. What? You can't take our extracurricular activities? I tease. Never said that, he grunts. Fine. I'm getting up. Too bad you're sleeping. You're going to miss me standing naked in our bedroom. I huff once, before being brave and throwing off the covers. It's unusual for me, but I can't help it. I'm in love, and when people are in love, they do stupid things like standing in a cold bedroom stark naked, looking for a bathrobe that probably doesn't exist. Our bedroom? YiJung has rolled over once again, and is staring at me. I'm a little turned on by him noticing my word choice, rather than my nakedness. Well, if we're going to give this marriage a real shot, shouldn't we sleep in the same room? This causes YiJung to throw off his covers, stand up, walk over and kiss me profusely. I guess he likes my choice of words. I like the sound of that, YiJung smiles. Don't act so cocky, mister. If you hadn't massively screwed up yesterday, I wouldn't be standing here right now. I playfully hit him, as I search through his closet for a robe. Exactly. YiJung just smiles even wider and reaches past me to pull out a robe. Just have to know where to look, he says. I give him the once-over before I respond. Sure do, I say as I put on the robe. YiJung grabs one for himself, and follows me downstairs. For the first time this morning, I look at a clock, and much to my dismay it's only 6:30. Shit. We could have slept a lot longer. I feel a little guilty. Looking at the door to my old room, I don't see any signs of life. My mother is still asleep. At least we have that going for us. GaEul?

Yes? Did you bother to check the time? Um... GaEul? No? I timidly say. YiJung laughs, and hits me playfully on my head. I'll put on some coffee, he says. Go lie in bed; I'll be up in a couple of minutes. I smile gratefully, and head back upstairs. You know, for a room that until last night belonged to YiJung, it doesn't feel uncomfortable here. It's not quite home, but I'm sure as soon as I move my clothes up here, it will become home. I hesitate a minute before crawling back into bed. Should I take off the robe or not? Part of me wants to, but then I think hot coffee on skin? Ouch. So, I leave it on, and instead get under the covers to stay just that little bit warmer. YiJung, true to his word, returns a few minutes after. He hands me a cup, and I mutter my thanks. He slides into bed next to me, and we actually struggle of things to say. I know that people always say the morning after is awkward, but I didn't think it would be that way with us. We're married! There's nothing awkward about it! So,... he says. So,... I say. We sit quietly, sipping our coffee, trying to think of something, anything, to say. Last night,... he says. Yeah, I respond, and I can feel my face blushing already. Repeat? He winks at me. Not enough time. It's YiJung's turn to blush now. I didn't realize I had a minx for a wife. He pretends to look shocked, but I think deep down he is, a little. Actually, I'm a little surprised myself, too. But, with YiJung, I want to try and do everything. It just seems right. I laugh a little, and we are both able to relax a little bit. YiJung reaches over, and grabs my hand. It's nice to be able to do this all I want, now, he says and I agree. What have you got planned for today? I ask.

Hm. He pretends to concentrate, but I know he's full of hot air. Anything that doesn't involve your mother. How about you? I think for a second. Other than work, I need to give JiHoo a call. He'll want to know we had our 'talk.' Yah, you silly girl. Are you cheating on me already? And with one of my best friends? I want to laugh, but I can't help but remember our first big fight over JiHoo. Maybe this is his way of apologizing again for his overreaction. I can play along. Psh. If I were to cheat on you with one of your friend's I would choose WooBin. I stick out my tongue and make a silly face. Hush now. I don't want to hear of any talk about you cheating with WooBin. Not when you've got all this, he motions to himself, at home. I roll my eyes. I don't know how much that all is. I whistle innocently and ignore YiJung's jaw drop. Yah! GaEul! Do you know how many other people have wanted to marry me? I'm a catch! He protests. Hm. Okay, honey. You keep telling yourself that. I pat his hand gently and look the other way. You're so mean to me. He pouts. I don't think you love me after all. Now I have to look back at him. How dare he doubt my love? I set my coffee cup down, and he smiles. YiJung knows he's won. Are you really going to make me prove my love for you? I ask suspiciously. Yep, he coyly responds. Fine. I love you. I dismiss him with my hand, but he looks all too disappointed. GaEulllll. Oh dear. It seems my husband is a whiner. What do you want? I reach over, and kiss his hand. We never got a honeymoon, GaEul. We never had a wedding either, YiJung. That's not true. He chuckles. We just don't remember it. I'm not sure that counts. I fiddle with my now empty coffee cup. I didn't notice it until now, but he grabbed us matching mugs. What a cute, adorable, schmuck YiJung is.

We've got the wedding certificate. I think that's the definition of it counting. Well, I don't get another break until the winter. I make the vital mistake of glancing over at YiJung. He's giving me the sad puppy eyes. Dammit! How can I say no to that? YiJungggg. Now it's my turn to whine. What am I supposed to do? I just got time offfor a honeymoon! I dunno, he traces the design on the coffee cup with his finger, maybe you could ask again? I furrow my eyebrows. Did he not hear a word I just said? I'm just not sure that's possible. What if your school had a big donation? No. Don't do it. My words are deadly serious. I really don't want to get a spoiled reputation at work. It's bad enough he schmoozed my principal, but I don't want the word to get out to the other teachers. Okay. He sounds disappointed. What if,...what if we had mini-honeymoons every weekend? We don't have to go away, but we could make plans to do something together every weekend? YiJung's face brightens up at the sound of that. That might be do-able. I get to plan the first weekend though. Fine. Just keep in mind that I need to be on Seoul timezone by Monday. Don't worry so much. I smile back at him, and start to hear my mother tromping around downstairs. There's all sorts of banging, and clanging, of her hopefully re-heating leftovers, but somehow I doubt it. She's probably cooking something new altogether. I think my mother is awake. YiJung sighs once, and I squeeze his hand once. Don't be scared of her. She's probably forgotten all about yesterday, and I'm sure she'll stop nagging us in a couple of months. I think she's just excited about our marriage, and a little sad she didn't get to plan a wedding. YiJung shrugs, and I stand up, grabbing our empty coffee mugs. I'm going to head down, and say good morning. Come on down when you're ready. I leave him, sitting in our bead, staring at the wall. I won't tell him this, but he looks good up there. I don't want him to get a big ego. Morning, Omma, I say as I spy her in the kitchen. I set down the mugs in the sink, and look at what she's making. Eggs and rice. At least it's simple. Were you and YiJung already awake? She asks, nodding to the coffee mugs. You should have woken me up. Nah, it's okay. We just happened to wake up early and he made us coffee while we relaxed a little. Listen, GaEul. I'm sorry about yesterday. I overreacted a little, she says. I really don't want to

pressure you two like that. I just wish I could have been at my only daughter's wedding. She sighs, and I do feel a little guilty. Are there at least wedding photos we could hang in the house? Uhhhh, yes. I lie. What? We can get some made. Oh good, she sounds relieved. You'll have to come over the day you get them, GaEul. Not one day later! We promise, Omma. We promise what? YiJung stands in the doorway, looking a little panicked, as if I've promised grandchildren soon. We've promised to come over the day we get our wedding photos to show Omma. I wink and thankfully, YiJung picks up. Oh, of course we'll come over. It'll be our pleasure. YiJung smiles, and my mother shoves me out of the kitchen. I'll get breakfast ready; I'm sure you've got to get ready for work GaEul. I nod, and hurry into the downstairs bedroom to find clothes. I make sure to grab some for tomorrow. The more I have to visit this room, the greater the chance I have of being caught. Luckily she's preoccupied with cooking breakfast today. I hurry upstairs to change, and walk in a naked YiJung in the midst of getting dressed for the day. His first instinct is to cover himself up again, and mine is to look away, but then we remember that we've already seen each other and we relax. I quickly throw on a simple red dress, and put my hair into a side braid before laying back down on the bed. YiJung finishes getting dressed in slacks and a shirt, and lays down next to me on his stomach. You promised her wedding photos? He asks amused. She was sighing and getting upset, I say. You weren't there. You would have promised her anything, too. I'm sure I would have, He chuckles. We'll do it this weekend? I ask. No can do. We've got other plans, YiJung winks at me. You've thought of something already? I ask amazed. Yep. Your husband is pretty spectacular, isn't he? He sounds so full of himself.

Hmph. Average at best. You're so cruel, GaEul. He pouts a little. I'm about to say something else, when my mother shouts that breakfast is ready, so instead we tromp downstairs and step back into the real world. Chapter Thirty Two Once breakfast had been eaten, YiJung and I said goodbye to my mother, and headed off to work. Well, I was heading to work. YiJung was just going to escape for a couple of hours. You haven't protested me taking you to work today, YiJung says as I'm putting my seat belt on. Do you mind dropping me off? I ask in return. No, he says. There you go, YiJung smiles, and sets off. Are you going to give me any hints about our weekend? I ask, hoping for a hint. Nope. Pretty please? I bat my eyes, trying to look as cute as possible. YiJung responds by putting up his hand to cover his face so he doesn't have to look at me. Not going to work this time. You'll just have to be patient. I hate being patient, I huff. It's immature, but I'm hoping YiJung will think immature is cute, and will give me a hint. Instead he laughs. The weekend is only another day! I think you can wait. Hmph. Fine. Be that way. I stick out my tongue, not that he can see, look at the window, and try to be mad. It doesn't work long, though. YiJung removes his hand from his face, to hold mine and caress my thumb. It's sweet and hot, and suddenly I don't want to go to work anymore. I'm about to ask him to pull over into the nearest motel, but then...we arrive. Damn. I quickly thank YiJung for driving me, say goodbye, and try to open the door, but he stops me. I don't get a kiss for taking you? Oh. I forgot. We can do that now. He leans over, and kisses me in such a way I feel tingles in the tips of my toes. In other words, it's just how a kiss should be. But, it's also probably not appropriate for a school yardnot that this goes through either of our minds while it's happening. We're much too busy concentrating on other things.

Like getting another two years of kisses in before I have to get out of the car. He pulls away, and I really don't want to go to work now, but being the grown-up that he is, YiJung gently tells me it's time to go inside the building, and be a teacher. What kind of fun is that? Right. My kind of fun. I say goodbye one last time, and walk into the building in a love-daze. All I can see are hearts and flowers and rainbows and ponies and everything good in the world. This is a normal thing, right? In the corner of one eye I can see Tuuli waving at me, but I don't stop to say hello. All I can think is, six hours until I see YiJung again, six hours until I see YiJung again, six hours until I see YiJung again. Gosh that seems like an awfully long time from now. Children shouldn't be made to sit in a classroom for six hours a day; it's practically torture! They should study for....two, no...one hour max. Yes, I, no I mean, they, could bear to be away from their parents for that long. When I step into my classroom, instead of seeing the self-portraits my students drew yesterday lining the walls, I see different child art versions of YiJung's face. It'd be pathetic if I weren't so happy. I'm cruelly woken out of my daze by my phone ringing. I quickly pick it up, secretly hoping it's YiJung. It is not. Hello? GaEul! You've been ignoring me! JanDi is her usual frantic self. No I haven't, I quickly backtrack. You told me you were going to be busy. I know; I'm just teasing you. She says and laughs. Oh. Happy as I am, I'm not sure I'm a mood to be teased right now. Anyways, I say, trying to change the subject, how are you? I'm good. And you? She replies, being polite. Fine. Great. Stupendous. Superb, even, I gush. Crap. I bet she thinks I'm all sorts of crazy right now. Are you still sick? JiHoo told me. No, I'm okay. Just, er...having a good day? I wince. That was real convincing, GaEul. Good? So, what's up? I didn't think I'd be hearing from you for another couple of weeks, I say trying to

hurry along the conversation. As much as I would love to keep talking to JanDi for another three hours, my students are going to arrive in about ten minutes. Well, she says coyly, JunPyo came back a little early from his business trip, and we wanted to invite ourselves over for dinner. You know, see the new apartment, and see the newlyweds. Oh? Oh, I say. I had forgotten about our promise. Of course! Would Monday be okay? YiJung and I have plans for this weekend. Look at me! I even sound like a real married person, knowing my husband's schedule. Let me see, she says and I hear her flip through what must be a calendar. I briefly wonder if she is more busy than JunPyo, working at the hospital. That should work, she says enthused. What time should we come over? Maybe six? That should give YiJung and I to cook something. And then to buy take-out if our meal turns out to be a horrible mess. Perfect! She sounds excited. I am too, actually. I haven't gotten to see JunPyo since Las Vegas, and that seems like it was forever ago. We say our goodbyes, and I hang up just in time for my first student to walk through the door. I'll have to remember to tell YiJung about this later tonight. Class is the usual. My students run about the room, pretending to ignore my orders, while I try not to lose my patience. We paint, and try to learn some basic mathematics. We're on subtraction, but it's not going to well. At recess, I hope and pray they'll exert all of their energy, but it's no luck. They come back inside and instead of being tired, they're even more wound up, so that when I try to read a book, the boys spend the time hitting each other behind my back, and the girls are so busy talking amongst themselves that they don't hear a word I'm saying. Sometimes I wonder why I love this job. Lunch comes, and they're out of my hair for a full glorious half hour. Instead of going outside to join the other teachers, I decide to stay inside, and give JiHoo that call I've been thinking of. He answers on the third ring. Hey, he says as a greeting. Are you busy? I ask. No, just about to take my lunch, he responds. Why? Good! We'll take our lunches together. GaEul, I don't know if you've heard of this thing called distance, but I'm a forty minute drive from

where you are right now. There's no way we can get lunch together today. He sounds smug. Since when did JiHoo become smug? It must be YiJung's influence. I didn't mean in person, I drag out the last syllable to make my point, I just meant, you know. We could talk on the phone? JiHoo laughs a little bit. I should have figured as much. What's up? Now that we're actually at this point, I'm not sure how I should tell JiHoo. For one thing, I'm not sure how much of YiJung's and my relationship he actually wants to know, and I'm not sure I want to kissand-tell. Plus, he's a boy. A straight boy. It's weird to tell these things to a straight boy. Wait. He is straight, isn't he? Now that I think of it, I don't ever see him with girls. JiHoo, are you gay? Oh boy. I opened my mouth and the words spill out, and the second they've come out I regret it. That was stupid. Really stupid. JiHoo makes some sort of choking and spitting noise on the other end. Excuse me? Shit. Uhhhh...., Luckily, JiHoo jumps in before I can finish that next sentence. No, I'm not gay. Wait. Did you think I was your gay best friend? He's really laughing now. I guess that means he's not angry with me. That's a relief, I suppose. Uhhhh,... GaEul, you're something else, you know that? I'm glad we're friends. Now, what was it you really wanted to talk to me about? Uhhhh,...YiJung and I... My voice trails off, and the last words aren't even a whisper. There's no way what I just said was audible to JiHoo. If you want my advice, you're going to have to use words. He's teasing me again, but I think he's enjoying this. He likes working to get information out of me. We had our...talk... I mumble the words this time, and I don't know why I'm so embarrassed. JiHoo was the one who wanted us to talk in the first place; he's decidedly on our side. Really? You're not lying? Yah! I never lie to you. Just...others...and they're only little white lies anyways! A marriage born through a mistake? JiHoo sounds amused.

Well, it we didn't mean to! It wasn't our fault we got drunk and got married! And anyways, it doesn't matter because we're staying married now! I'm sounding far too defensive, and with good reason. In this stupid argument, if you can even call it that, JiHoo is the winner. You're staying married now? Yes, I proudly say. We talked and confessed last night and we...feel the same way,...so... Just promise me one thing GaEul? What's that? I ask. Consider JiHoo as a name for your first born. Now it's my turn to laugh. Yah! It's too soon to think of that! You're on the same page as my mother; maybe the two of you should hang out. Maybe we should. I can't imagine what JiHoo is thinking right now. We always have such strange conversations. Uh, yes. Well, uh, that was all I really wanted to tell you. I just thought you'd want to know. I scratch the back of my head, thinking if there is anything else I need to tell him, but I don't think so. Well, I'm glad you told me, and that you two talked. He sighs. You don't know how frustrating it's been for me. Frustrating? Crap. Did I piss him off? I thought we were good friends, but maybe not? Yep. You two danced around this for way too long. It killed me not to tell you and YiJung how you both felt. Oh. I'm sorry. It's nothing to be sorry for. I'm a little sorry I couldn't tell you sooner, but something like love needs to be handled between the two people, and not a thirdeven if they're a good friendperson, he says, clearly flustered. No, I get it, and I'm glad you didn't say anything, I say in awe. It's not that I didn't want to, I just-- I don't let JiHoo finish his sentence. Thank you for not saying anything. YiJung and I are lucky to have you in our lives. It feels trite to say it, but there's little else I can do at the moment to express my gratitude. You're welcome, he replies with a sigh of relief. I'll see you soon? He asks.

Absolutely. YiJung and I will have to think of some proper way to thank you, I say. You don't have to do that. I know, but we want to. Okay, JiHoo lets the subject go. I should get back to work. Yeah, me too. I can feel a tear forming in the corner of my eye, and I should go wash it off before my students return. Goodbye. See you soon JiHoo. I hang up the phone, and I'm so touched I don't know what to do. I wouldn't have been able to keep that secret. All this time, I didn't know I was burdening JiHoo like that. He is the best friend we could have ever asked for. I quickly leave my classroom, and go wash my face. By the time I come back my students are already in the room, quickly doing some redecorating. And by redecorating, I mean they're taping anything and everything to the walls. I clap my hands twice, and we get back to work. Even though my students tried to redecorate our classroom, my afternoon goes pretty slowly. We have a short nap time, followed by history and music. I think music is everyone's favorite subject. It's the one time of the day when everyone is listening to me. They sit quietly and patiently while I explain how to play a recorder. Not the world's most beautiful instrument, but it's certainly one of the easiest. Another second grade class joined us; they're learning piano, so the students were even able to play some duets. Or, whatever the closest thing to that is when you're seven years old. I get a chorus of goodbyes when the bell finally rings at three o'clock. All in all, it was a good day. I quickly pack my bag, and hurry down the hallway to the front door. There I'm greeted not by YiJung or my mother, but by SeungHo. We have to talk, he says as he grabs my arm. He pulls me to the side of the building, underneath the tall trees. I have nothing to say to you, I say once he lets go. But I do. Fine. Make it quick, I say angrily, crossing my arms. I want nothing to do with this man; he is my unfortunate co-worker, and nothing else. We were great together, SeungHo starts. And I never understood why broke up.

You want to know? I ask impatiently. We broke up because you were my rebound guy! I woke up one morning and realized that I didn't love you! The words I'm saying are cruel, but they need to be said. I was too afraid back then, but not anymore. I just want to say these words and to go away. I don't believe that. He says decisively. The one you don't love is your husband. SeungHo sneers as he says those words. That's not true. Don't say that. You got drunk and married on accident. I bet he's going to divorce you as soon as possible. What is it? Do you have a contract? Despite my better judgement, I ask in a hushed tone, how do you know? Have you been spying on me? SeungHo laughs. Please. If you want to have a private conversation, you should close the door to your classroom. Shit. He continues speaking, I suspect you don't want your family to know, huh? Wouldn't surprise me. You don't want mommy and daddy to know sweet GaEul made a mistake like that, do you? Stop it, I weakly say. Oh, I will, he says. But the question is, what are you going to give me? He strokes my cheek gently. You've got two options, you can give me money, or, you can give me what I really want. You're out of your mind, I whisper. What happened to the man I liked? He's long gone, he says, dismissing me. So, what's it going to be sweet cheeks? He leans into me, closing his eyes for a kiss. In the moment, I panic. I want to scream, but it feels like all the air has disappeared from my lungs. Instead, I turn my head away from his, looking for an escape. And in the process, I see YiJung standing ten feet away, watching the whole scene. Chapter Thirty Three As soon as I see YiJung, I spring into action, and knee SeungHo in the groin. I know what this must look like to him, and if there's anything I can do so that YiJung won't misunderstand, I must do it. I love YiJung, not SeungHo, and he has to know that. SeungHo immediately doubles over, shocked that I could do such a thing, but mostly because I hurt him. Distracted by his own pain, I run away and over to YiJung. He looks at me sternly, and says, stay here, in a guff voice.

He leaves my side, walks over to SeungHo, grabs him by the collar of his shirt and punches him once. He looks furious, but he's trying to restrain himself, I know. I hear him speak curtly to SeungHo, Don't ever touch her again. YiJung drops the collar, and SeungHo collapses to the ground, in pain more from my kick than YiJung's punch. YiJung walks back over to me stiffly, grabs my arm and drags me back to the car. I'm in such a daze I don't try to do anything but follow. He doesn't say anything, but I can tell he's fuming. He's so angry that I don't even think of explaining myself. The ride back to the apartment is painfully awkward. I spend half the car ride looking at YiJung's face for any more of a clue as to how he feels, and the other half staring straight out the window, trying to pretend I don't exist. YiJung, for his part, also pretends I don't exist; he doesn't look at me, or even glance my way once during the ride. Once we've arrived back home, he grabs my arm again as we walk upstairs. It's not hurting me, but it's his way of controlling his anger, and the situation. My mother is sitting on the couch watching television, when we enter. She waves hello, but YiJung ignores her too, and makes his way to the stairs with me in tow. I nod in my mother's direction, and she gives me a wink, as if YiJung and I are going to do something much more fun than what we are actually going to. YiJung tromps upstairs, still angry, and lets go upon entering our room. He sighs once, and collapses on the bed, sitting slumped over. This isn't YiJungthis is a broken man. That's when I realize he's not angry, he's destroyed. I stand in the doorway, wondering what I should do, when he quietly asks, should I be worried? No! I shout, as if my loudness is going to convince him more so. Then will you tell me what happened? He rubs his eyes, and I briefly wonder if he's going to cry. I've screwed up badly this time. I should have told him sooner. I should have told him the second SeungHo walked back into my life. I should have told him when I started having feelings for him. I should have told him before I confessed. I should...tell him everything now. He came back into my life, and wanted to get back together, I start. It's not the cleanest way of telling YiJung, but it's the best way I know how to. He, he, he didn't mind, no he didn't care that I was married, and he just wouldn't take no for an answer, and then today he made his move. But, I swear, YiJung, what you saw was the worstnothing's happened! He threatened me and-- I'm babbling, and YiJung cuts me off before I continue embarrassing myself. How long has this been going on? He is trying to stay in control, but I know it's got to be hard for

him. SeungHo arrived after my time off, I whisper. YiJung nods, processing the information. He lifts his head up, and looks at me confused. SeungHo? He asks. The one after you. The only one, I clarify. I know who he is. YiJung says clearly frustrated. How do you know that? I ask quickly, worried and a little impressed that he knows. WooBin and YiJung told me. He was one of many reasons they wanted me to come back to you. YiJung shakes his head, not wanting to talk about the subject anymore. I'll have to remember to ask him again sometime later. Here's what I don't know, GaEul, he says. Why did you let him harass you? Harass me? I ask. Did he say he wanted you back more than once? YiJung asks. Yes, I say, but-- He was harassing you, YiJung interrupts. You're strong, GaEul, so why did you let him bother you? Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell JiHoo? Or, your principal? He looks more hurt that I kept this from him, than SeungHo altogether, and it hits me. It's because he is more hurt about that. I, I, I don't know, I stutter. It just seemed like something I could handle until today. You shouldn't have let it get to that point, he says, and I know he's right. I nod, but don't say anything, fearful that any of my words would just hurt him more. He was breaking the law, YiJung says quieter. It just hadn't occurred to me, I say. YiJung lies back on the bed, and rubs his eyes once more. I don't know if he had a long day before this, or if he's just tired of my stupidity. What do you want to do about it? He asks me. I want to just make it go away, I reply truthfully. I want this to be forgotten, and I want us to stay together. I pause before I ask him my next question. Is that possible? YiJung sits straight up. What? Can you forgive me? I ask timidly. It's a lot to ask of him, but if I'm not brave enough to ask him

now, I won't ever be brave enough. Of course, he scoffs. I'm angry with you for letting yourself get put in this position, but you didn't cheat. Why would I want to break up? We're having a fight. It happens. He shrugs and looks down at the floor again. I want to cry from happiness. Let's just, YiJung says, promise to communicate more now, okay? Okay, I say, and timidly make my way over to our bed and sit down next to him. I'm going to ask you again, he says. What do you want to do about this? To be honest, GaEul, I'm not sure I'm comfortable having you work there next to him. YiJung looks at me, and I nod, once again knowing he's right. Yeah, I say. I'm not comfortable working next to him. Maybe I should look around and see if there is a different teaching job I could take... I trail off, uncertain if that is what I really want to do. Do you want to leave the school? Maybe? I've been there a while, and I think I've gotten all I can out from this job, but at the same time,... It's easy. YiJung finishes my sentence, and I nod. The job is easy. It's safe. It was comfortable before SeungHo arrived. He speaks again, and I return from my thoughts. I don't think he should get away with harassment, either. What if he does it to someone else? YiJung raises his eyebrows and waits for me to say something. Did SeungHo harass me? The first time we saw each other again, he said he wanted to get back together. He told me that more than once at school. He called me at my house. The more I think about it, the more I begin to realize; SeungHo did harass me. I was stressed and upset because of him. I don't want him to get away with it, I say, louder, clearer and more sure than I feel. Do you want to sue him? He asks me in all seriousness. I know a few really good lawyers. I don't know. Maybe we should just tell the Principal, and let her deal with it... YiJung considers this, but then shakes his head and says, No, I've got a better plan. GaEul, do you trust me? I nod instinctively. Good, he says. Leave it all up to me. He pulls out his cellphone, and dials a number. WooBin, I need a little help. I interrupt his phone call, making a 't' with my hands. You're not going to...kill...him, are you? I whisper the word kill, not wanting to offend WooBin on the phone. YiJung laughs. You said you trust me, he winks once and says a few more words to WooBin before hanging up. Don't worry so much, he reaches over and ruffles my hair a little. I'm not going to hurt SeungHo anymore, even though he deserves it.

I let out a sigh of relief. Are you going to tell me what you're planning? I squint one eye to glare at him a little. GaEul, you said you trust me. Damn. He's got me. Fine. Are you worried about his threats? YiJung asks, changing the subject once more. I don't know, I sigh. I guess I feel like it would hurt our friends and family to find out, but I don't care about the public. That's all in your control. Do you care? Not really, he shrugs. Maybe I would have when I was younger, but people like my art, not me. I'm not going to become ostracized in the art community because I got married accidentally, and then decided to stay married to my wife. My agent might have a heart-attack, but he's annoying anyways. I can live with that. He sticks out his tongue, and I smile. Okay. Should we tell our friends? I'm not sure how I feel about telling everyone. We're not living a lie anymore, so does it even matter? I don't like lying to them, but I'm not sure it matters. How would we say it? JanDi, it turns out that YiJung and I married by mistake, and we were going to get divorced, but now we're not going to get divorced, and we're staying married. See? That sounds pointless and stupid. I don't know either. YiJung looks up suddenly and says, let's call JiHoo. He'll know. Before I can say anything YiJung has his phone in his hand again, and he's dialing. No, I say, as I reach over and take the phone from his hands. We've bothered JiHoo enough. We can solve this problem on our own. I tell him about my conversation with JiHoo earlier today, minus my questioning his sexualityif he finds out about that, it's not going to be from meand he's astonished. I never knew, he says. Yeah, that's the point. He didn't want us to know. He just wanted to move us along in the right direction. We're going to have to do something nice for him. Really nice. I don't even know what we can do that's how nice it's got to be, GaEul. He squeezes my hand once before I nod. We sit there in silence a few moments longer before I hear Omma yelling from downstairs. Are you two ever going to come down again?! YiJung snickers, and I just shake my head. Trust my mother to ruin a moment. I guess we should go down, huh? He asks and looks at me. We'll finish this conversation sometime this weekend and make a decision? He asks hopefully.

Sure, I say. I need some time to figure out what I want, anyways. YiJung lets go of my hand and as he's walking down, he winks at me and shouts, we're coming Omma! GaEul had a splinter that I needed to take care of. Is that what they're calling it these days? She teases. I can't help but smile. Even though she can be absolutely ridiculous sometimes, I still love my Omma. I follow after YiJung downstairs, and she's ready for me, waiting next to the door with a fan, which she then uses to hit him on the head. Ow! Omma! What's that for?! I yelp, and rub my head, trying to make the pain go away. Forget everything I just said about loving my Omma. You should never leave a guest alone in your house, GaEul. Even if you were making babies. She straightens up, as if to make herself more important. I hope you've learned your lesson, she makes a pouty noise, turns about, and walks away from me. YiJung, for his part, is stifling giggles. Apparently, he's not so angry anymore. Hey, I say, trying to reason with him. That hurt. I'm sure it did, he replies, but you should have seen the look on your face. She-- he gestures dramatically with his hands, --whapped you on the head, and you had no idea it was coming! He's openly laughing now, and I can hear my mother giggling from the kitchen. Because of your laughing, I whisper, you get to go help my mother with the cooking tonight. I sneer at him, and push him in the direction of the kitchen. What are you going to do? YiJung asks and pouts. I glare a little bit more, and he stops making his puppy dog face. I'm going to sit down, on my behind, and catch up on my dramas. Now it's my time to turn around, and walk away from him. I hear him make a whining noise, but ha. I'm not falling for that tonight. I relax on the couch, and try to watch some television, but all I can hear is Omma and YiJung talking. Which is more like Omma yelling at YiJung every two seconds for doing something incorrectly. Oh dear. I'd feel worse if he hadn't laughed at me earlier. Around 6:30, my Omma walks into the room, and announces that dinner will be served in three minutes, and that I should wash my hands. I go into the bathroom to do so, and when I come out, the first thing I see is YiJung holding a plate of chicken, wearing an apron that was mine when I was ten. It's a little small, but what really makes the scene is the pink ruffles on the end, with a picture of a puppy with a rainbow. Somehow I keep a straight face, and sit down at the table. Once seated, I look at my plate, knowing that if I look him in the eyes, I'm going to lose it. Omma brings the rest of the food, and we begin to eat.

GaEul, have some manners. Make conversation, Omma says, admonishing me. I smile, try to look graceful, and look up at my mother. Of course. How was your day, Omma? Fine. I was left here alone most of the day, no thanks to you, she says, trying to guilt trip me. I'm sorry. Next time you come to visit, I'll be sure and ask for time off from work. I'm smiling even wider, when YiJung kicks me from under the table. Nope. I can't look at him. He kicks me again, while I try to talk some more to my mother. What are you planning on doing this weekend, Omma? I ask sweetly. Cleaning the house. She grunts. Bleh. That sounds terrible. What are you and GaEul doing, YiJung? I see she has no problem looking YiJung in the eye. Now that I think about it, she probably put it on him in the first place. Ha ha. We're going away, Omma. Oh? Where to? She asks earnestly. Someplace secret. He winks in her direction, and she puts her finger to her mouth as if she's already in on the secret. Maybe she is. Don't you want to know where we're going GaEul? YiJung uses his sucking-up voice, but I'm not biting. Instead I look back down at my plate and shovel some more food into my mouth. What's your problem tonight GaEul? My mother tsks, and grabs my hair forcing me to look up. You're so strange! Sit up straight and use some manners! I'm looking straight at YiJung, and that stupid apron. Oh my God. It's even worse when he's sitting down. The ruffles are brushing against his face. That shade of pink is a nice color on him. I chuckle once, and YiJung gives me a death glare, and kicks me once more under the table. That's it. I can't hold it in any longer. I burst out laughing, and can't help but point at YiJung. He sulks in his chair, perhaps ashamed of the apron, but it's my mother who has the worst reaction. Yah! GaEul! That's a special apron! Don't make fun of YiJung! I shake my head, and apologize. It's bad, but I shouldn't laugh so hard. Not when he's forgiven so much of me today.

We finish our meal in peace, watch a little television as a group, and then we head off to bed. I put on a sleeping shirt upstairs and crawl under the covers. YiJung joins me. We lay on our sides facing each other. Are you still angry? I ask. Not really, he says. It's hard to stay mad at you for long. He adds as an afterthought, you really shouldn't have made me cook with your mother though. That apron was hideous. I smile charmingly and he kisses he softly. I'm sorry, I say. I don't know why I'm so stupid sometimes. It's okay, he says as he moves closer so that his arm is around me. Just promise to talk to me more, alright? Alright, I whisper as I fall into sleep. Chapter Thirty Four Friday comes and goes with ease. Breakfast is quiet between YiJung and I, although the room is not. My mother happily chats to herself while YiJung and I nod every once in a while to show we are listening. She continues chatting as YiJung drives me to work. He kisses me on the cheek and we say our goodbyes. I don't see SeungHo once, except peeking around a corner as I walk through the hall during lunch. I'm not sure if he's frightened of me, and frankly, I don't give a damn. After work I meet YiJung at his studio, where he shows me a few new pieces. They're exquisite, if not a little more sad than his usual work. He asks me if I will ever work with clay again, and I tell him I'm not sure. It was a nice hobby, but pottery is his passion. Maybe I will pick it up again. One day. The apartment seems empty without my mother bustling about the kitchen, but we're both glad to be on our own again. No need to cook dinner; there's enough leftovers for at least a weekif they don't turn bad before then. We watch a movie on the couch after dinner, and somewhere in the process I fall asleep on YiJung's shoulder because the next thing I know is waking up in our bed. YiJung is already getting dressed. I cough to let him know I'm there, and he turns around, buttoning up his shirt. It's about time. We've got to get going, he says with a smile. This early? I ask and rub some sleep from eyes. It's almost 10:00, YiJung responds as he finishes his last button, and sits down on the edge of the bed

next to me. Are you going to tell me where we're going? I ask hopefully. In response to my question, YiJung just laughs. We're not taking a plane; that's as much as you get. Meanie. I sit up in bed and notice that my dutiful husband put pajamas on me. That was nice of him. Unless, of course, he was just being a pervert because he wanted to see me naked. Get going; I want to be out of here before lunch. YiJung winks once, and leaves me alone upstairs. I quickly find clothes to wear, and rush down to take a shower. YiJung? I yell to him in the kitchen. What do I need to pack? I don't know where we're going, so I don't know what to wear. We could be deep in the mountainsI'm not going to want to wear dresses up there. No need, he yells back. I've already packed for you. Hmph. I wanted a clue, but no luck. I pout to myself and shower as fast as possible. Just so I don't take any longer, I put my hair wet in a braid, and put on the bare makeup. Deeming myself passable for the public, I emerge from the bathroom in a pair of shorts and a tank top. Casual for me, but it will do. Hungry? YiJung asks as he holds out a bowl of rice. I nod, and join him at the table. For once in our lives there's a decent amount of banchan on the table. Thanks, Omma. We sit and enjoy our meal, while I pester him a little bit more about where we're going. Unfortunately, he does not take the bait and remains silent on our vacation location. Once we've picked up from our late breakfast, YiJung starts bothering me with wanting to leave. Aren't you ready yet? He teases. We need to goooo, he whines. Hold on, I say. I need to find something to read in the car. I haven't really moved my things upstairs yet, so I've got a few books up there, a few in the living room, but most are shoved in the closet downstairs. What? You're not going to talk to me? YiJung asks as if he were a little surprised. You're going to be driving, I shrug. I thought it would be stressful, and you'd want some quiet. I walk into my former bedroom, and open up the closet only to find that my neat piles of books stacked on the shelf, have all fallen on the ground into a big mess. Arguh. I've got an idea, YiJung smiles mischievously. How about you read to me while I drive? I pretend to consider his proposition. What book should I read?

Not a girly novel. Ha. I don't know why he thinks I only read romance novels, but he does. Maybe JanDi mentioned it to him once. I don't think I've picked up a romance novel since I was sixteen. But, this could be fun to string it out. But YiJunggggg, I whine. I've only got romance novels. No, I don't. He frowns at me. Then the book upstairs...? Ah, the biography I'm reading on Einstein. I try not to giggle as I answer him. Yep. It's a made-up romance about another scientist who was in love with him. He wondered if Einstein could ever love another man. YiJung's eyes just about fall out of his head. What? It's very beautiful, I say. Well, I don't think I want to read that, he says slowly. He picks another book up off the floor, called The Hot Zone. It's about the ebola virus, but he doesn't know that. YiJung examines the book for a minute, holding it between his index finger and thumb delicately, as if using his entire hand to hold the book is somehow going to soil him. The expression on his face is what makes me crack a smile. He looks at me, and I can't help but laugh. You were teasing me! He looks astonished, as if I've never teased him before in his life. Yah, you were the one who assumed I'd be reading a romance novel. I grin. Look around carefully, YiJung. Do you see anything that looks like that? He digs through my books, and shakes his head. Finding a book he does want to read, he asks politely if I'll read it to him. I look at the book he chose; it's a children's mystery novel. I've read it to my class before, but not this year. I just smile and shake my head. I'm so busy reading the book to him, that I don't pay much attention to where we're going in the car. I'm at page 93 before I know it, when YiJung announces, we're almost here. I put down the book, and look out the window. We're on a bridge, heading to what looks like an island. Are you going to tell me which island this is? I ask. Keep looking out the window; I'm sure you'll see a sign. YiJung smiles, and I glue my face to the window once more, hoping for a sign. I don't see one until we've reached the island itself. Daebu Island. Hm. I've never been here, but it's supposed to be pretty. And a little touristy, but I don't say that to YiJung. We're going to Daebu? I ask, stupidly. YiJung gives a curt nod, Yep. I don't have any response other than 'oh,' so I crack open the book, and continue reading. I'll have plenty of time for sightseeing on the island later, I'm sure.

It's another twenty pages in our book before YiJung parks the car. We're just getting to the heart of the book, and I think we're both a little disappointed, as we've got to stop reading for now. We're here? I ask. Yep. I open my car door, and take in the scenery in front of me. We're on top of a mountain, or a cliff, I'm not sure which, but it's overlooking the sea. There's a small modern cabin to our left, which, I assume, we're going to stay at. The entire front of the house is lined with windows so we can get the most out of our view. It's boxy and shouldn't belong in a place like this, but somehow it does. If I could ever meet this architect, I'd only have one thing to say to him. It's breathtaking. I thought we could spend today relaxing, and tomorrow do a little sightseeing, YiJung says as he swings one arm around my shoulder. How did you find this place? I ask in awe. I'm So YiJung. I can do anything I want, he laughs and pulls our bags from the car before heading inside. I'm not sure if he's joking or not, and I shudder. The inside of the house is just as beautiful. There's minimal furniture, but it somehow still feels comfortable. Everything is designed to appreciate the view. We only get two overstuffed chairs and a small table in the living room, but I want to sit in the chair and look outside forever. YiJung hurries to show me the bedroom, which, not surprisingly, also has the same view. He waggles his eyebrows at me, but I just laugh and playfully hit him as I go outside to admire the view some more. We're maybe fifty feet up from the rocky beach below, but I'm positive there's no way for us to get down there. I can't see any other land from where we are; it feels like we're on the edge of the Earth, and we're the last two people in existence. It's quite intoxicating, actually. YiJung comes and stands behind me. It's special, isn't it? He asks to no one in particular. I nod, and smile to myself. I'm not sure I've ever been to a more beautiful place. Thank you, I respond. I-I-I wanted to find someplace like my proposal, he stutters. It's not outside of the city, really, but we had to come here, so,...I hope it will do. I look at him confused, and try to remember. Our story of how he fake-proposed...he wanted to do it near the city, just the two of us alone in a house, without any big declarations. It's so sweet, I want to cry.

Come on, he says, gently pulling on my arm, changing the subject. Let's get some food. I follow him back into the cabin, and YiJung produces some of my mother's leftovers from a cooler. Just need to heat them up, he says. It takes him almost ten minutes to figure out how to turn on this stove, but I just watch him. We're here to relax; there's no need to rush anything. Once he does figure out how to turn on the stove, our dinner is ready in no time. We make small chatter while we eat; nothing important, just things we like and dislike. It's amazing. As long as we've known each other, there's still so much we don't know. YiJung sets his empty dish on the table, and pats his lap. What? I ask. Come over here, he pats his lap once more. I eye him suspiciously. There's not enough room for two of us, I say. That's kind of the point, he laughs. I keep glaring. You know you want to, GaEul. You're a big fan of cuddling; don't try to deny it. Damn. I am a fan of cuddling. Even though he's won, I make a big display of how I'm putting myself out by complying with his request. I heave a big sigh, and take as long as I can getting out of my chair, and sitting down on his lap. YiJung, for his part, just rolls his eyes. I sit down, and because my husband is a jerk he makes an 'oof' noise, as if I'm too heavy to sit on him. I frown, but he just gives me a stupid grin and places my arms around his neck. There, he says. Now we can relax. We chat some more, with YiJung making circles with his finger on my arm. It's soothing, and before we realize it, we're kissing. I don't know who starts it tonight, and I'm not sure if it even matters anymore. It starts off innocent; just one or two chaste kisses, but then we remember how we're sitting, and things escalate. YiJung pulls out my braid, and I begin to undo some of his shirt buttons. It's awkward because of how we're sitting, so I break our kiss in order for us to both stand up. We fumble over the table in our way, and continue to kiss as we make our way into the bedroom. We wake up early the next morning with the sun. I'm the first one awake, and amuse myself with looking at YiJung's profile. He really is handsome. Even in his sleep it seems there's a smile on his face. His smile must be infectious because I suddenly find myself grinning too. However, my smile is wiped off my face when YiJung shoves my face the other way with his hand. You're staring again, he says sleepily. I can't help it, I say smugly. I happen to have a handsome husband. Who can blame me for wanting to memorize his features? YiJung chuckles. I've stroked his ego. He slowly sits up in bed, and says, good morning, to me. I softly kiss him and say good morning in

return. So we're going sightseeing today? I ask hopefully. YiJung nods. Let's get through the shower, and get moving, okay? He stands up and stretches once before sauntering into the bathroom. I'm laying in bed a few minutes later when I hear him call, you're not coming too? Well, a girl doesn't need to be asked twice. I throw off the covers, and hurry in to join him. Our shower takes longer than usual, which seems to worry YiJung a little. He keeps checking his watch all through breakfast. I ask him what's the matter, and he gruffly tells me that everything's okay. Did I do something? I make a glum face and finish my food. We get in the car, and YiJung starts driving distractedly. He looks from side to side, and after I ask if he's looking for something in particular, he says no. But he continues to look, when he thinks I'm not looking. He tells me we're headed into the town first, and then we can decide where to go. I look out the window, and spy a road sign. It says to turn right for the town, but YiJung turns left. I protest, and he says, my mistake. Um,...I'm sure we can get there from this way. And he keeps driving to the left. Weird. What's going on with him? He makes another sudden turn, and we're now traveling down a small dirt road. Yah, YiJung, where are we going? I ask impatiently. Oh? I saw a sign for something interesting just now; I thought it'd be fun to see it. I quickly turn my head and look back, but I don't see any signs in the road. Is he making all of this up? The dirt road ahead is long, and filled with curves. No matter how much I look, there are no other side roads, or even a place to turn the car around. There are trees, grasses and bushes enveloping the road, making it more difficult to drive on. It seems we're headed to the end of this road, even if I don't want to. YiJung is starting to look a little nervous. I can see sweat forming on his forehead. Maybe he went the wrong way after all, and whatever the tourist thing he wanted to see is a different way. I'm about to ask him once more where we're going, when the road makes one final swoop to a small tidy house with a large garden. YiJung sighs of relief, and says, we're here. I raise an eyebrow, but I get out of the car. I can't possibly imagine what a place like this could have for us to see. He walks up the door of the house, and knocks politely on the door. A middle-aged woman opens up, and is quite friendly with him. I can't hear the conversation, but from the way they're acting, they seem

to know each other. YiJung waves me over, and he steps into the house before I can say something to him. Am I meeting some of his family that I've never heard of? I shrug to myself, and, with trepidation, walk in the door. Only to be greeted with a chorus of yips and yelps. Confused I look to YiJung. He simply points to a large playpen in the next room. I walk inside and find half a dozen dalmatian puppies. Forcing myself not to scream with excitement, I hop in the playpen and am surrounded by puppies. YiJung smiles and kneels on the floor just outside the pen. Daebu was the closest place that had dalmatian puppies, he says as a way of explanation. I was getting nervous because I said we'd be here before two. I smile, thank you for the surprise. I thought you had forgotten. He shakes his head, nah. I never forget. We were just, he pauses, searching for the right word, preoccupied. Well, I appreciate you keeping your promise, I say as I feel happy tears start to form in my eyes. I don't know if YiJung can't see them, or if he's simply ignoring my tears, but he says next, go ahead and pick one. This is much too difficult. They're all equally cute, and are covered in spots. How old are they? I ask YiJung. Six weeks, I think. Okay. One puppy keeps crawling into my lap. Not to cuddle but because he wants to play. He grabs onto my shirt sleeve and tugs. I pick him up, and once I look into his eyes, I know this is my dog. This one, I say. Are you sure? He seems...high energy... YiJung trails off as he looks in the playpen. After their initial excitement of my being there, the puppies have all gone off and fallen asleep. I think YiJung was hoping for a calmer dog. Yep. I'm sure. YiJung goes, pays, thanks the woman, and we're back outside. What are we going to do? I ask. We don't have anything for a puppy with us. Ha. That's where you're wrong. YiJung opens the trunk, and we've got a small kennel, a few dog toys, a leash and puppy food. I'm impressed, to say the least.

How did you...? The internet, he responds. I am pretty handy with a keyboard. I take the blanket from the kennel, and put it on my lap for my puppy to sit on. You better drive carefully, I warn him. You better hope he doesn't pee on you, YiJung warns back. Ohwhat are you going to name him? It doesn't even take me a second to think of a name. BanJum. YiJung groans. GaEul, that's so lame. I stick out my tongue and pet BanJum some more. Too bad. It's my puppy, so I get to name him. Fine, he sighs. BanJum it is. He starts the car up, and the three of us drive away. Chapter Thirty Five I spend the rest of the afternoon cuddling with BanJum, much to YiJung's dismay. What can I say? You give a girl a puppy, and she'll forget all about her doting husband. While I want to cuddle, I must admit, BanJum is much more interested in playing tug of war with...well, anything. My clothes, the blankets, YiJung, his food, my foodanything he can fit his small mouth around. But, like any true baby, he falls asleep a little after seven. Isn't he cute? I saw in awe. YiJung merely scoffs. He seems like a little demon, he sneers. I playfully hit him. You're just jealous because I'm already the master. Am not. Fine, I say dismissing him. You're jealous because he's going to take away time I could spend with you. YiJung has nothing to say to that, and instead, picks up our dishes from dinner, and takes them into the kitchen for cleaning. We leave BanJum sleeping on the floor in the living room so we can go take a little walk in the woods by ourselves. The only noise we hear is the occasional rustle of a tree from the wind; it's so different from the constant traffic sounds at home. I know we can't leave our city lives forever, but if we could continue coming back here, I'd be at peace. He's going to be handful, YiJung remarks. I nod, and say nothing in return. We just continue taking

one step at a time, navigating our way through these woods. There are few paths along here, probably made by the owner of the house. How did you find this place? I ask suddenly struck by a bought of curiosity. YiJung shrugs. I don't know. I found BanJum, and it all just fell together, I guess. I make an 'oh' with my mouth, and we keep walking. Neither of us know how far we are from the cottage, but it doesn't matter. There's plenty of light out, and it's not chilly. Up ahead the forest breaks, and I can see a large rock that I immediately have the desire to climb. Come on, I yell. Try to catch me! I break away from YiJung, and dash for the rock. He's not far behind, shouting at me to slow down. My shoes are better suited for running than YiJung's; I'm in sneakers and he stupidly is wearing loafers. I make to to the rock only a few seconds before him. If it weren't for my shoes, I'm not sure I would have beat YiJung; he actually exercises, unlike me who thinks a walk around the block once burns several hundred calories. Want to climb up? I ask. YiJung grins, and I can see a twinkle in his eye. He pulls off his shoes and socks, and starts to pull himself up. Without having any concern for his clothing, he makes it to the top, covered in moss and dirt. I follow after him, and we both sit at the top, a little sweaty, but mostly dirty. Secretly, I was hoping the rock would look out over the water, but instead we're surrounded by trees. This rock is planted in the middle of a field; nothing special, but it's nice anyways. I beat you, I say smugly. No way, he jokes. I got on the rock first. The race was to the rock, I inform him. So, I win. YiJung just looks at me skeptically. Fine. You won the race to the rock, and I win the race to the top of the rock. He grins, and starts making his way down. We should probably head back. I'm sure your puppy needs your attention. Our puppy, I correct him. He nods, and we work our way back to the cottage. When we return BanJum is waiting patiently at the door. Well, I thought it was patient. YiJung would probably say BanJum was yelping and trying to bust his way through the front door. GaEul, YiJung says in a warning tone. What? I pick up BanJum and give his head a scratch. Ew, I say through muffling my mouth. What's that smell?

GaEul... YiJung just points to the corner, while covering his own face. I look over and there is, surprisingly,...a puddle. Oh. You're cleaning that one up, he says cooly. I'm going to bed. He chuckles once to himself, and closes the door to the bedroom. After lecturing BanJum about making a mess in the house, I clean up his puddle, take him outside, where he gladly does his business once more, and finally, I crawl into bed. YiJung, by this time, has already fallen asleep. I'm tempted to thwack him once for abandoning me in my hour of need, but I calm myself, reasoning, that it's his turn next time. With that thought settled, I soon join him in slumber. I'm woken up in the middle of the night by BanJum whimpering outside our door. I crack open one eye, and see that YiJung is still sleeping peacefully. Jerk. I take my time getting out of bed, and open the door to check on the puppy. Fearing another mess, I'm pleasantly surprised to see that he's just sitting at the door, staring up at me. I reach down, fondle his ears, which he takes to mean an invitation to our bedroom. He gleefully runs over to the bed, hops up and settles down next to YiJung. My first impulse is to throw him out of the room, but he's curled up, and he looks so peaceful...I can't possibly disturb BanJum. So, instead, I close the door, and crawl into bed once more. Just before I fall back to sleep I hear YiJung mumble, this better not become a habit, GaEul. We'll see about that. BanJum wakes me up early the next morning, whimpering once more. This time it is because he needs to go out. YiJung, again, is no help. He's still fast asleep, and I find myself feeling a little resentful of the puppy because he had to sleep in between us. It's only after I've let BanJum out, and fed him, that YiJung wakes up. For a brief moment I wonder if this is on purpose, but I push the thought out of my head. That's paranoid. Even for me. Morning, YiJung says as he pours himself a cup of coffee. Good morning, I respond. Are we going to go back to Seoul soon? I've got some grading to finish... I trail off, and YiJung looks a little shocked. You haven't finished all your work? He asks. Um, no?

Wow. I thought you were always prepared Miss Perfect, YiJung teases. Hey! I put my hands on my hips and glare, but BanJum is way ahead of me. He starts pulling on YiJung's pant leg. Coincidence? Maybe. I laugh while YiJung tries to get BanJum off of him, and not spill his coffee at the same time. After a few minutes of effort, he's able to do it. Only because BanJum spies a bug and speeds off at it. Some help you were, YiJung says bitterly. I'm just as much of a help as you were last night. I pick up a book and pretend to be fascinated by it. Touche. YiJung concedes. In answer to your question, yes. We can leave anytime. Good. Can we leave after breakfast then? YiJung nods, and I go in search of food. Finding more leftovers, I offer some to YiJung but he shakes his head. He's not hungry, he says. I eat alone, while YiJung showers. I follow soon after, and then we're on the road once more. BanJum is asleep for most of the ride, in his kennel, much to my relief. YiJung checks his messages when we get home, and there's one from WooBin. He calls him, and WooBin says he'll be over in ten minutes. What's he coming over for? I ask. He's got what we need, is all YiJung says in response. Have you thought at all about what you want to do about your job? I sigh before speaking. I think I'll give my resignation this week, I say. I don't want to work with him, and I don't really want to quit, but if I'm really being honest, I've gotten all I can from my job. There's no challenge anymore. Yeah, YiJung looks to the floor, guiltily. It's not your fault, I quickly say. I'd probably quit even if we weren't married. I should move on to something new. Okay. I looked on the internet last week; there's a private school who needs a third grade teacher starting in the fall, I say. I thought I could apply for that, and see where it goes. That sounds great, YiJung says. BanJum just looks up at me with his big eyes. So you're okay with having time off?

Yeah, I slowly say, making up my mind. It'll give me time to train BanJum, and, who knows? Maybe I'll find a hobby or two. Good. He smiles, and is surprised by a knocking at the door. WooBin's here. YiJung walks over and lets him in. My bros, WooBin says as a greeting as he holds open his arms for a group hug. Long time no see. I can't help but smile and embrace him. WooBin's cheerful mood is always infectious. I guess we've been busy, I say. BanJum wanders over and starts sniffing him cautiously. He's not too thrilled about WooBin. This the new puppy? He asks me as he pulls out an envelope for YiJung. I nod and WooBin leans down to give BanJum some attention. Apparently, this is all it takes for WooBin to win BanJum's heart. He rolls over on his back, giving WooBin his belly to scratch. YiJung looks through the paperwork, clearly surprised. You're kidding me, right? He asks WooBin. No, really. I looked into it, and was surprised myself. Jesus, YiJung runs his hands through his hair, and I'm struck by a desire to comfort him. Do you want my help? WooBin asks delicately, as if he's saying much more than his few words. But, YiJung shakes his head. We'll be fine, thanks though. WooBin nods, and stands awkwardly to one side. I offer him something to drink, but he politely declines it. I tell them I need to finish my grading, and quietly leave the room. By the looks of it, they want to be alone. I don't pay attention to how long it takes me to finish my grading, but it's sometime in the evening, and WooBin has already left. YikesI guess I had more work than I originally thought. YiJung is busily making dinner, and I look over the papers on the table while we figure out our plan for tomorrow. It's a little underhanded, but then again, so is SeungHo. The plan is already in place, so there's little we can do about it now. We talk a little about JanDi and JunPyo coming over for dinner tomorrow. YiJung doesn't say it, but I know he's excited like a little boy. He chatters about what to cook, and what we're going to wear. I can't help but roll my eyes at his excitement. It's cute, but a little worrying that he loves his best friend more than me. Bros? Most definitely. It's only after we finish eating that I remember I have a present for him. Walking into the downstairs bedroom, I pull a thin package out from under the bed and silently hand it to YiJung. What's this? He asks.

I went and had this made for you last week, I mumble. It's nothing special, but... YiJung ignores me and happily tears open the package. Inside is our wedding certificate framed. He takes a long look at it, and then begins to laugh. Yah! I put some thought into that! I say defensively. You shouldn't make fun of me. I'm not making fun of you, YiJung says between laughs. It's just...you don't normally get these things framed, GaEul. You stick them in a drawer, forget about them, and only pull them out when you've got to get your drivers' license renewed. He wipes a tear away from laughter. Oh. Hmph. Color me embarrassed. Well, give it here, I say, trying to jerk away the picture frame from him. I'll stick it in a drawer and get you something else. But YiJung takes it back from me. I never said I didn't like it, he says. Here. He walks over to a small side table, and sets it against the wall. It's on display now. We can be proud of our mistake. He chuckles once more and shakes his head. Are you sure? I ask quickly. I can get you something better... Nope. This is perfect. Okay. I give him a confused look, but YiJung just smiles and pats my head. BanJum starts scratching at his leg again, evidently desiring to go for a quick walk. I shrug, and hand him a leash. It's half his dog; he can do half the work. The rest of our evening is uneventful, and we head to bed, carefully leaving BanJum downstairs. He whines for a couple of hours, and I almost give in, but YiJung grabs my arm, preventing me from fetching him. I'm nervous the next morning. I change my outfit three different times, and end up braiding half of my hair, forgetting to do the rest. When I step out of the bathroom YiJung calmly walks over, turns me around and pushes me back into the bathroom to fix my hair. I don't have much of an appetite; an orange turns over in my stomach and I regret eating it. Don't get me wrong. I'm not just nervous because we're going to confront SeungHo today. I'm going to give my two weeks notice to the principal, who probably has no idea this is coming. I've always liked my boss. She's firm, but fair, and she likes me. She's the kind of person I would have wanted to be friends with in university. YiJung has to lead me out to the car, because my feet can't seem to go. My hands are sweaty, and I keep wiping them on my pants. If I do it anymore there's going to be sweat spots on my pants, which would just be gross.

For the first time in twenty years, I bite my nails. Even as a child I didn't do it much; my mother thought it was a disgusting habit. And that it would drive all the boys away in terror. Six-year-old me didn't quite believe her, but six-year-old me didn't really want to take the chance either. I quit that habit soon after. The school is much closer than I remember. I tell YiJung that and he says dryly, the school is twenty miles from our apartment. It takes it us nearly half an hour to get here. Yeah, whatever. You're not the one quitting your job suddenly today. Now it's the worst part. The waiting. We opt for sitting on the school stairs, looking casual like we might be waiting for Tuuli or another friend. Tuuli comes and goes, saying good morning to us cheerfully. So do several other staff members, and finally at 8:50 am, SeungHo arrives. YiJung stands up, and puffs out his chestto look more manly, I suppose. SeungHo tries to walk around us, but YiJung firmly grabs his wrist. It can't hurt him, but YiJung is certainly saying that he is the boss. We've got to talk, I tell him. We walk around to the side of the building, and I think about the irony of us being in the same location SeungHo talked to me. What you do want? SeungHo asks coldly. He's acting as if he doesn't know why he's here. YiJung lets go of his wrist and thrusts the envelope of documents to SeungHo. He looks confusedly at them and YiJung tells him to open the envelope. SeungHo does, and his eyes open wide in surprise. How'd you get these? He growls. We've got good friends, I respond, trying to sound confident. I haven't been convicted, SeungHo stammers. They all dropped the cases. Yeah, but we've got all four of the women saying on the record you forced them to drop the cases. They're all willing to testify against you in court, I say, looking at my nails. Yes, SeungHo. We found them, and they all said you sexually harassed them. What do you want? He hurriedly asks. Simple. I say. Leave. Go and leave the city. No, even better. Leave the country. Stop working as a teacher. And if I don't? I'm suing you. And I'm going to win. YiJung nods once behind me, as if reassuring SeungHo that we'd win no matter what.

A man like you shouldn't work with children, YiJung says, as he takes one more step towards SeungHo. Take our offer and leave. So this is what it comes down to? SeungHo asks quietly. Blackmailing me? No, I say firmly. I'm giving you one last chance. I'm giving you the chance to start over someplace else with a new job and to forget your past, I pause, all of it. This is low, SeungHo says. I never thought you were this kind of girl, GaEul. Yeah, well, it just shows that you don't know me very well, do you? SeungHo stares at me, probably in shock that these cruel words are coming out of my mouth. I'm a little surprised I'm saying this too, and sound so sure of myself. Inside I'm still a nervous wreck. I'm just supposed to start over? He asks quieter still, contemplating the actual situation. He knows he's been caught in his misdeeds and lies, but he hasn't decided what to do. I nod. Yes. Become a different person. You're not the one I dated, SeungHo. That was the boy I liked. I can see tears forming in his eyes. I really did like teaching, you know, he says. Find something else to make you happy, somewhere new. I don't ever want to see you again. Even though my tone is light, I'm more serious than I have ever been in my life. And if you do? I shrug. I'll take you to court. Believe me. I'm dead serious about that. You hurt me and you hurt those four other women. By all means you should pay for what you've done. He's silent for a long time. I look to YiJung and his eyes tell me to be patient. From the corners of my eyes I can see students slowly filing their way into the building; class is going to start in a few minutes and I don't feel prepared for work. But, this is more important. Fine, SeungHo sighs. I'll go someplace else. Good. I say, and I mean it. Things may have soured between us, and he's done so many wrong things in his life, but I still want him to live happily. Tell the principal I'm not coming back, okay? He waves once and exits the school grounds quietly and calmly. I feel as though a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Was this the right thing to do? Yes. I'm sure of that. But I don't know if it was the right way to do it. Confronting him like this seems a little cowardly, but what's done is done. YiJung kisses me on the cheek, and says he'll see me after class is

finished. Now to just quit my job. One step at a time, GaEul. One step at a time. Chapter Thirty Six I'm surprised with myself for the way I handle the rest of my day with ease. My students, for once in their short lives, aren't wound up on sugar when class begins in the morning. I'm able to give the principal my resignation letter during lunch, and she takes the news gracefully, telling me that she's more than happy to recommend me later in life. Tuuli is saddest of all, but she makes me promise to visit her in Finland when she goes home at the end of the year. I can do that. I'm going to have some time, after all. YiJung is waiting, as promised, in front of the school when I've finished my day. He smiles and says, I've bought groceries. We hold hands as we walk to the car, and once I've seen what he's done I can't help but roll my eyes at him. His tiny sports car is filled with bags of groceries. It's probably not that much food, but a Lotus was not meant for doing errands. Of any kind. The least of which is buying groceries. I, uh,...called your mom, and she said this is what we needed for dinner. I'm surprised by his statement. I bet you made her day, I say seriously. Is there enough room for me in the car? Can't you tell? YiJung asks me. I left your seat empty. He sticks out his tongue and opens the door, but not before shoving a toppling bag of fruits back behind the passenger headrest. The floor of the car has several cans of vegetables rolling around. I try to push them aside, and sit down with my knees up to my chin, and my purse blocking most of my view. YiJung giggles as he closes the door. Did you ask my mother for recipes, too? Of course! I have to be a filial son-in-law and take any and all advice my mother-in-law gives me, he winks at me as he pulls out of the parking lot. I notice that there isn't any piece of food on his side of the car. You know, I say offhandedly, maybe we should buy a car that's a little bit bigger. YiJung slams on the brakes, throwing me, my knees and my purse all into the dashboard. I'm not sure where exactly, but there's going to be a bruise (or several) tomorrow. You want to get rid of Jessica?!? Who's Jessica?

YiJung hits his hands against the steering wheel. My car! I want to ask him first, how old he is because no one over the age of fifteen names their car, and second, why he named his car Jessica. But, instead, I smile serenely, take a deep breath and tell him that we just need another car. I'd love to tease him, but we've got JunPyo and JanDi coming over in three hours, fourteen minutes and...twenty-two seconds, so there's no time. We've got to get cooking. Literally. Wait, you just want to get another car? I nod, and YiJung looks relieved. Okay, he slowly says. We can get another car. Just,...don't make me get rid of Jessica. I restrain myself from snickering and we drive home safely. It takes us three trips each to carry all the food up to the apartment. On the dining table is an assortment of my mother's recipe cards. Most of these I know by heart, but YiJung went to the trouble of getting them from my mother, so I won't say anything. YiJung taps me on the shoulder, and when I turn to face him, I see that he's put on an apron, and a chef's hat. It's adorable, and makes my stomach flip. Ready? He asks. Fighting, I respond. He tosses me my own apron, and we gather the recipes and get to work. It's not difficult work when there's two of us. One of us cuts vegetables, while the other fries, and when there's a spare moment we both dash out to clean the apartment. It's not terribly messy, but we've got little clutter piles everywhere. YiJung hands me book after book, and I return them all to their place. I put away his old newspapers that he never remembers to recycle, and dust the tables. He picks up the dirty clothes that we toss in the bottom of our closet, and places them in the hamper, before making our bed. We're so efficient that we've finished half an hour before JunPyo and JanDi are supposed to arrive. YiJung collapses on the couch, and I tell him he needs to clean himself up. His response is to grab my arm, and pull me down so I'm sitting on the floor, eye level with him. Stay here, he whines. I try to pull away, but he just holds tighter. You're such a baby, I tell him. We've got our friends coming soon, and we're not ready. I gesture to the both of us. There's flour in his hair, and my breath smells like garlic from tasting everything. Just stay for a minute, please? He grins, and after checking my watch, I relent. We stay that way for a while longer, but eventually YiJung sits up, and declares that he's ready to get ready for dinner. I just shake my head and laugh at him. He goes to change his clothes and to shake the flour out of his hair, while I brush my teeth several times. I finish just in time; JanDi knocks at our door, sending BanJum scrambling to the front door. He's not the best guard dog in the world; he tends to react after someone has arrived. YiJung opens, and JunPyo thrusts a basket of fruit into YiJung's arms before saying hello to either of us. BanJum jumps up and down excited by the sudden arrival of the guests. I think because I like them, he likes them.

JanDi gives me a hug, and I ask her how she's doing. Fine, she says. Well, more than fine, actually. How about you give us the tour, and then I can share, she says with a coy look on her face. JunPyo is beaming. I can't wait that long, he interrupts. Can I say? JunPyo is bouncing on his heels like a little puppy. JanDi nods. We're going to have a baby! He has the widest smile on his face; it's adorable. Congratulations! I say. YiJung looks like he's in a little shock, but he hugs JunPyo and tells him he's happy for them. When are you due? He asks politely. Seven months from now, JanDi responds. We don't know if it's a boy or a girl yet, she adds. Wow, I say with astonishment. I can't believe you're going to be parents. Neither can we, JunPyo says seriously. But, it's exciting. He smiles once more and says, now, show me the new apartment. It's bigger than I thought it would be, JanDi remarks politely. Yep, YiJung says proudly. We've got two bedrooms. One for us, and one for,...him. He points to BanJum, and JunPyo laughs. Yah, I say. You bought me the dog, so you can't complain. I stick out my tongue, but YiJung ignores me. We walk more into the living room, so JanDi and JunPyo can see better. They love the view of the neighborhood, and are amazed we're unpacked. I'm not sure why; we've been here long enough. JanDi spies our wedding certificate, and shows it to JunPyo. Isn't it cute? She asks. They got it framed. Is this it? He points to the certificate, and asks us. I nod. Yep. The one from Vegas. JunPyo's face turns white. I need to call WooBin, he says, and goes outside. YiJung gives me a confused look, and I shrug. I don't know what's going on, and judging from JanDi's face, she doesn't know either. The three of us sit quietly on the couch, and wait for JunPyo to return. He comes back inside maybe ten minutes later with WooBin. I don't know he came, but he's certainly welcome to stay for dinner; there's more than enough food. I say hello, and try to give him a hug, but he's not in the mood for it today.

We've got to tell you something, WooBin says solemnly. I look to YiJung and JanDi, and they're still just as confused as I am. None of us know what's going on. JunPyo takes a deep breath, and launches into the story. ********** WooBin had finished off his sixth drink of the night, while JunPyo nursed a scotch. They were drunk, that was sure. JanDi had gone upstairs an hour earlier, while YiJung and GaEul were off in a different booth, drinking far too much. They were, if anything, more drunk than JunPyo and WooBin. Out of the corner of his eye JunPyo could see them laughing and leaning into each other, whispering. When in Rome, do as the Romans do. When in Las Vegas, drink. Drink and drink some more. JunPyo laughed at his own joke and toasted to WooBin, but missed, spilling his scotch on the counter. The bartender merely shook his head, as if he had seen this everyday, which to be fair, he probably had. You know what I saw in the cubby...no, that's not right. I saw it in the lobby! WooBin slirred and waved down the bartender for another drink. What's in the cubby? JunPyo cocked his head in confusion. We haven't had cubbies since preschool. And there's no way we're in preschool. Preschoolers can't get married. He held up his wedding ring and smiled at it. Preschoolers can't drink either, WooBin mumbled. Exactly! JunPyo slammed his hand on the counter as if to accentuate his point. So we're not preschoolers. WooBin nodded to himself. Nope. JunPyo took a sip, and asked, what were you saying about cubbies? No bro, lobbies. I told you to guess what I saw in the lobby. He laughed to himself. How am I supposed to know, JunPyo frowned. Guessing was too much for his brain to handle at the moment. Alright. I'll just tell you. WooBin stated. JunPyo waited for him to finish his thought, but WooBin didn't say anything else. Dude. What? WooBin reached over and pinched JunPyo's cheeks. They've got marriage licenses in the lobby in a vending machine. Isn't that weird? He laughed some more and patted JunPyo's face. No! You're kidding me! JunPyo looked genuinely shocked. You mean I didn't have to spend a billion won on my wedding?! I could have just bought a paper from a vending machine?!? WooBin just laughed some more. I'm drunk, but I'm not drunk enough to think they're real, he said.

They're for jokes. Oh, JunPyo looked disappointed. The two sat in quiet, ordering more drinks despite the late hour. The bartender didn't really care about their level of drunkenness; he had seen much worse. JunPyo kept looking over his shoulder at YiJung and GaEul. The longer WooBin and he sat at the counter, the closer GaEul and YiJung were to each other. First they sat on opposite sides of the booth, but now GaEul was almost straddling YiJung. It didn't look like he minded, either. JunPyo shook his head, and turned back to his good friend. When are you going to get married? He asked suddenly. WooBin responded by spitting out his drink. Dude! You made me spill hundred year old sake. You just don't do that to someone, man! He frowned and continued. You're buying me another drink. WooBin nodded to himself, as if that settled JunPyo's debt. I don't know when I'll get married, he said quietly. Maybe I won't. JunPyo just looked at him and asked, what are you talking about? Did you say something about music? Because I don't hear any. WooBin looked back at him and said, I have no idea what's going on. JunPyo shrugged, and ordered a plate of nachos. Their food came, and the two happily ate. JunPyo looked one more time at YiJung and GaEul. Both of them had passed out, with YiJung's head on GaEul's shoulder. It was as if a lightbulb went off in his brain, and he turned back to WooBin. Did you say something about wedding certificates earlier? He asked. Yeah, they've got joke ones in the lobby. You know what would be funny? JunPyo grinned, and WooBin immediately felt nervous. What? We should buy one for them, he gestured over to the table where GaEul and YiJung were passed out. WooBin started laughing hysterically. Oh man, he said, wiping tears from his eyes, that would be awesome. Come on, let's do it. JunPyo hopped off his stool, and almost fell to the ground. That was higher up than I expected, he said grimly. WooBin nodded, understanding his friend perfectly. The two paid their tab, and snuck out to the lobby, pressing their bodies against the wall, trying not to be seen. They shouldn't have been worried. It was almost three in the morning, and few were downstairs in the hotel. WooBin proudly showed him the vending machine. JunPyo quickly inserted a bill, and, concentrating

as much as he could, JunPyo pressed the numbers for the wedding certificate. It fell down below, and he picked it up, examining the paper. There were a lot of English words on it. Actually, the whole document was in English. They've got rings, too! WooBin said. JunPyo squinted. Those are ugly. They look plastic. They are plastic, WooBin said. We can do better than that. JunPyo pointed to a jewelery shop across the lobby. The lone worker was hunched over the counter, trying not to fall asleep. Excuuuuse me, WooBin drawled out. We'd like to buy a set of wedding rings. The worker shot up, and looked from JunPyo to WooBin and then WooBin to JunPyo. You realize you can't get married here, sir? He asked timidly. What? JunPyo asked. It's um..., the worker struggled to spout out the words, um, homosexuals can't get married in Las Vegas..., he trailed off clearly embarrassed. Homo... JunPyo tried to think of the correct Korean word. He wasn't sure what this man was saying. WooBin whispered in his ear, and he shouted, what do you think we are?! Yah! We're buying them for our friends! I'm, I'm so sorry sir! The worked bowed and pulled out a case of rings. Please accept my apologies sir...it's not often people buy rings for their friends. WooBin carefully looked over the rings before pointing to a pair with a simple leaf design. These ones. GaEul will like them. JunPyo laughed, are you a romantic, Song WooBin? He turned to the worker, we'll take this pair-- WooBin interrupted him. Are you sure this is a good idea? He asked. Of course it is! I'm always right, aren't I? JunPyo rebuffed. They're going to be mad when they find out, WooBin warned. Shut upno they won't. They'll be happy, you'll see! JunPyo shouted, hoping that his loudness would convince WooBin of the brilliance of his plan. You're so full of it, you know that? WooBin laughed, and JunPyo knew they were going to follow

through with the plan. Yeah, but that's why you love me. JunPyo winked and turned back to the man. We would like this pair, he said. They bought the rings, and returned to GaEul and YiJung, who were still passed out in their booth. We've got to put the rings on them, WooBin said seriously. He reached over and slid a ring on YiJung's hand. It goes on the left one, right? JunPyo looked at his own hand. Yeah. Left hand. He put the other ring on GaEul's finger, and giggled. They look so funny. He frowned. Let's sign the certificate. He pulled out a pen from his jacket, and before he could sign, WooBin took it from him. I know YiJung's handwriting, WooBin proudly stated. With his hand shaking, he signed YiJung's name to the paper. He shoved the pen to JunPyo, who hesitated. I don't know what GaEul's handwriting looks like. So? She's drunk. Just sign it. JunPyo shrugged but he did his best to write GaEul's name in a feminine print. He wasn't sure it worked, but it would have to do. We've got to get them upstairs. You're stronger than me, WooBin remarked. You take YiJung. He pushed JunPyo out of his way, and hoisted GaEul on his back. She sighed once, and settled into her new sleeping position. JunPyo got YiJung on his back and asked, where are we taking them? I dunno GaEul's room number. WooBin said. Kay. YiJung's room it is. Ooh, you know what we need to do! WooBin grinned. We've got to cancel GaEul's room. Yeah, JunPyo readily agreed. We can do that when we get them upstairs. YiJung's fat. He poked YiJung in the back, and he grunted in his sleep. The pair stumbled, and huffed their way up to YiJung's room. JunPyo cursed him for insisting on having a room high up so he could see the city. WooBin didn't think it made much difference; after all, they took the elevator up. JunPyo and WooBin eagerly dropped the couple on the bed, and WooBin put on his best YiJung voice to call the front desk. The concierge picked up on the second ring. I'd like to cancel a room, please. Certainly, the woman replied. May I have the name?

Uh, yes. Chu GaEul. Can you have her things brought up to room 1238? JunPyo struggled to not laugh while WooBin was on the phone. Of course. Would you like that now? Uh, yes. But, be quiet. My wife is sleeping. JunPyo nodded as if this was a good idea. Oh you got married? Congratulations! Would you like some complimentary champagne as well? Uh, hold on a second. He put his hand over the mouth piece and repeated the question to JunPyo. Is that a real question? Do you ever turn down free alcohol? Good point. WooBin lifted his hand from the mouthpiece and said, yes please. Great. Someone will be up in a few minutes with Mrs. So's things. The concierge hung up the phone, and WooBin laughed. They called GaEul Mrs. So. JunPyo joined him in laughter. JunPyo looked over to YiJung and GaEul on the bed. Both of them were sprawled out over the covers, sleeping peacefully. We should probably put them under the covers, he said slowly. We should probably take their clothes off, WooBin blurted out. Yah! You're a pervert! JunPyo's face was bright red. Who's the pervert now? WooBin countered. Plus, is it going to be authentic if they're dressed? He looked smug. Yeah, but I'm married; I can't take off GaEul's clothes. JunPyo fumbled with his hands, and looked to the ceiling, hoping to stave off this awkward conversation. WooBin, however just looked at him with astonishment. Hello? I'm not married. I'll do it. What?! YiJung's going to kill you. They stared each other down, both knowing JunPyo was right. YiJung would not be pleased. Okay, I'll close my eyes and do it. You handle YiJung. WooBin closed his eyes tightly, pulled off GaEul's shirt and pants, and slid her under the covers. She moved in her sleep closer to the now similarly undressed YiJung. It was enough to make JunPyo sick. Or, maybe it was the alcohol. He ran to the bathroom, and busied himself with the toilet. Which, turned out to be a good thing. There was a quiet knock on the door. It was the bellman with GaEul's things, and a bottle of very nice champagne. He handed over the luggage and alcohol without a word and quickly left. WooBin didn't even get the chance to give him a tip. Which he probably would

have forgotten anyways. JunPyo returned from the bathroom some time later, wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt. We've got champagne, WooBin said. Excellent. Should we go to your room? JunPyo asked. WooBin nodded and said, yeah. GaEul's starting to stir. I don't want to her to wake up while we're here. Are we going to tell them in the morning? JunPyo asked. Eh, they'll figure it out soon enough; that wedding certificate doesn't look official at all. Ha, wouldn't it be funny if they stayed together because of us? They both laughed. Ah, do you have the certificate? JunPyo looked around the room, but he couldn't find it anywhere. WooBin shook his head. Crap. Did we leave it downstairs? We must have. I'm sure someone will find it. We can hope. JunPyo shrugged, and grabbed the bottle of champagne. They both said a silent thank you to YiJung and GaEul before leaving. After all, they were the reason they got free booze. ********** And that's kind of it, WooBin is looking at the ground, clearly ashamed of his actions. As he should be. I can feel tears flowing from my eyes, but I make no effort to hide them, or wipe them away. Out of the corner of my eye I can see YiJung's face. It's ashen, and he looks like he's on the verge of tears too. It takes him a minute to regain his voice and composure. So you mean we're not married? He asks, his hands shaking. JunPyo shakes his head. It was our stupid, awful, dumb prank. You never told us... I whisper. There's so much more I want to say, but I can't seem to put my feelings into words. Just how much they've hurt me, and how angry I am, but mostly how sad I am that our time together has been a bigger lie than we could have ever imagined. You're fucking bastards, you know that? YiJung's voice is quiet, but his angry words betray his confidence. When you came to see me for breakfast that morning, WooBin says. I thought you had gotten married for real. You seemed so happy

We were acting. YiJung interrupts him. We assumed this was our mistake, and we were being responsible. He sounds cold. Should have known there was no need, he says bitterly. What is that supposed to mean? I snap. Do you regret this? I gesture to us as more tears fall down my face. I don't think he means his words, but I'm so upset that I can't control myself. I'm taking my anger out on him when it should all be directed to JunPyo and WooBin and their drunkenness. No, YiJung retorts. That's not what I meant. I just glare at him. JanDi has been quiet this whole time, but she can't take it anymore either. I can't believe you would do this, she directs her words to JunPyo. There aren't any words for how angry I am with you, she says. I believe her. When she becomes furious, she stops being violent and becomes quiet. That's how you know you've really messed up. JunPyo for his part says little else other than apologizing continually. This isn't enough for JanDi; she stands up and tells him, For the health of our child, I'm staying at my parent's house for a while. Don't call me; I'll call you. JunPyo nods and tries to keep from crying. GaEul, she says, her face softening. Do you need to come with me? I consider her offer, but I shake my head and keep crying. I don't know what I need, but being with JanDi right now will just make it worse. She understands, shoots one more death glare at JunPyo, and quietly leaves the apartment. I look over at our dining table filled with banchan, and the dishes we spent all afternoon making. The good host in me wants to offer the food to our guests, but I know what they won't take it, and the angry girl in me doesn't think they deserve the food after what they've done. YiJung speaks first. I think you need to leave, he says to WooBin and JunPyo. They don't look surprised to hear the words, but they hesitate all the same. WooBin starts apologizing again, and JunPyo asks over and over what he can do to make it up. I want to scream that he needs to give me back the last few months of my life, but I don't. Instead I just say, please go. I'm having a hard time holding back outright sobs now. JunPyo stands to leave, and he asks once more what he can do. I shake my head, and he grabs his coat and leaves. WooBin follows soon after. It's just YiJung, BanJum and I. Even BanJum can sense the mood. I'm sure normally he would be scratching the door, desperate for a walk, but instead he's lying down at YiJung's feet. What do you want to do? I ask YiJung softly. It's taking all my strength to ask him. I just can't deal with this right now, he says. YiJung is looking straight ahead, and I can't tell what he's thinking. His voice is steady, and cold, but his face is emotionless.

What does that mean? I ask, my voice cracking, while the tears flow harder still. I didn't know it was possible to cry, and to hurt this much. It means I'm leaving, GaEul. He stands up, and grabs a coat and walks out the door. BanJum and I are alone in this apartment. I thought my lies would catch up with me. I just never thought they would be bigger than anything I could have ever done. Chapter Thirty Seven I stand there, in shock, in our apartment. I've just found out that I'm not married, and my husbandno, he's not my husbandmy, my, my YiJung has just walked out on me. A thousand thoughts are running through my mind, none of them happy, or even positive, and most of them are concerning YiJung. How am I supposed to get over this? Am I supposed to just start over? Am I supposed to be okay with the fact that my life, these past few months, has been nothing but a lie? Why did YiJung leave? Why is this a repeat of five years ago? What am I supposed to tell my parents? Sorry, Omma, Appa, but YiJung and I were just pretending...? I don't want to break their hearts like that. My heart is broken enough right now for the three of us, anyways. I look at BanJum lying down on the floor, and think he's got the best idea for the moment. He's lying there, sleeping. I lie down next to him, still sobbing, and, eventually, fall into a fitful sleep. I'm woken up by desperate pounding at the door. The sun shines through the window, and I figure it must be sometime in the afternoon. My heart races, hoping it's YiJung, but it falls just as quickly. YiJung has a key. If he had come back, he would have just opened the door. It takes me a few minutes to get the courage to stand up, walk over, and actually open the door. A frantic looking JiHoo stands before me, and the first thing he says is, Jesus you look awful. He pushes past me, not waiting for an invitation. I close the door behind him, but I don't say anything. Seriously, GaEul. Go look in a mirror. Just cleaning up will make you feel better. He gently pushes me towards the bathroom. I walk mindlessly into it, and look at my face. Mascara is caked over my eyes, and has run down my cheeks. My lipstick is beyond smudged, my face is pale, and my hair is tangled and out of place, but more than anything I just look sad. I look like I feel. Because he told me to, I wash off the mascara and lipstick, and brush out my hair. I can't do anything about my expression, but at least I'm somewhat cleaner. When I come out of the bathroom, JiHoo silently hands me a change of clothes. They'll do you some good, he says quietly, and pushes me

back into the bathroom. I return in the clean clothes, and he says, that's better. How did you find out? I ask. My throat is dry, and I sound hoarse. JanDi called me late last night; I tried calling, but you didn't answer. Oh. I pulled the phone off the hook before I laid down on the ground. I was worried, so I decided I would just come over this morning. He cocks his head to the door, and for the first time, I notice that he's grabbed my suitcase, and presumably, has packed it. Come on, he says. Let's get out of here. JiHoo starts walking towards the door, but I resist and stay put. What if he comes back? I ask. I sound timid and weak, but I can't muster up the strength or the courage to be anything but timid and weak right now. He'll find you when he's ready, JiHoo responds. It sounds cruel, but it's truthful. Let's go, he urges me once more. It's not doing you any good to stay cooped up in here. I take a long look around the room. Our fake wedding certificate is still in it's place on the table from yesterday. The food still looks edible; it looks like I'm going to throw a party any second. If only it was true. Wiping a tear from my face, I nod my head, and pick up BanJum. Okay, I say. Let's get out of here. JiHoo ushers me to his car, and we quickly drive away from the apartment. I don't know how long it will be before I come back here. I don't know how long it will be before I see YiJung again, either. JiHoo chats as we drive to his house, and while I nod and occasionally say, yeah, I don't remember anything he's saying. It's all a blur in my mind. JiHoo's house looks the same as always. I follow behind him, holding BanJum, and he takes me to one of his many guest rooms. He sets my bag on the ground, and looks awkward before speaking. If you're hungry, I can bring some food up. I shake my head, I'm not hungry. I say. Okay. Give me BanJum at least. I'll take him for a walk. I set the dog down, and he runs over to JiHoo. In any other circumstance I'd be offended, but right now I just want to cry my eyes out, and fall asleep. Um, JiHoo mutters, get some sleep, and we can talk in the morning. I nod, and JiHoo closes the door as he walks out. It takes me approximately ten seconds before I collapse onto the bed, and pass out once more. I'm confused the next morning, and it takes a minute to remember where I am, and what has happened to me. When I do remember, I want nothing more than to crawl back under the covers and to ignore the

world. But, I don't. I remember JiHoo's conversation with me, and I'm struck with the need to talk to someone about this. Normally I'd talk to JanDi, or even recently, YiJung, but neither of them is an option right now. Neither are my parents. And of course, JunPyo and WooBin are out of the question. Willing myself to get out of bed, I sit up, and trudge to the bathroom. It's only five feet, but it feels like it's miles. But each step I take feels better than the last. The shower I take is warm, and tries to tell me that things are going to be okay. I don't believe the shower, exactly, but I don't call it an outright liar, either. My suitcase is still on the ground, where JiHoo set it yesterday. I open it slowly, and pull out the clothes on top. It's a dress I bought in Las Vegas, but I tell myself not to cry. It shouldn't mean anything; YiJung has never even seen me in this dress. Despite my initial reaction to shove it back in the suitcase, and never think about it again, I put it on, and comb my hair. Makeup is a little too much for me today, but at least I'm thinking about hygiene. Even though I've been to JiHoo's house many times, I've never taken a tour, so I'm a little lost, trying to find where he might be. It turns out he's outside in the garden, with BanJum, throwing a stick. Hi, I say, hoping I sound better than I did yesterday. JiHoo turns around, gives me a big smile, and says broadly, good morning. What time is it? I ask, reaching down to pet BanJum, who has come to greet me. A little after ten; do you want some breakfast? Because the sun is in his eyes, he squints at me. I shrug. Let me re-phrase that, he says, and walks closer to me. Eat some breakfastyou look sickly and need nourishment. We walk in the house, and there's already food set out on the table. JiHoo hands me a spoon, and I eat the porridge in front of me. I'm sure it tastes great, but my taste buds seem to have disappeared. I just feel numb. Are you ready to talk about what happened? He asks gently, and I nod. I don't want to talk about it, but I need to. As dead as I feel, I know that talking is one thing I should, and am able to do. I'm so angry at JunPyo and WooBin, I whisper. I want to forgive them, but I don't know when I will be able to. They've called here three times already this morning, JiHoo admits. They don't expect you or YiJung to forgive them overnight, but they feel terrible. Has he...? I ask, hopefully, but JiHoo just shakes his head.

No, he says sadly. I've tried calling him, but his phone is off. Oh, I say disappointed. JiHoo waits patiently for me to say something more, so I do. Why does it have to be a repeat of last time? Is it a repeat of last time? Yes, I say in a hushed tone. The circumstances are different, but he left me again all the same, I hear myself choking up, but I keep talking. I don't know if my heart can take it again. It hurt so much last time, and, the tears are falling hard now, I don't think I can handle it again. But, the circumstances are different, JiHoo points out. He's at least polite enough to ignore my tears; I notice he already set a tissue box on the table, and I reach for it. You said it yourself, he adds. But he left me! GaEul, JiHoo says trying to calm me, he loves you. Yes, he left, but he's madly in love with you; he will come back. You have to believe it. I try to nod. After all, I want to believe him. He was shocked and scared, JiHoo says, figuring things out. If he hadn't left, would you have? I've been wondering the same question, but I haven't been brave enough to voice it. I don't know, I say truthfully, as I wipe away the few tears falling now. I want to think of something else to add, but I can't. My mind is blocked. This has to happen just when things were getting good, he sighs, changing the subject. I was looking forward to a little baby JiHoo, you know. His comment makes me chuckle for the first time in what seems like months. I don't know why you're like that, he says. I'm serious. JiHoo is the perfect name for a baby boy, he thinks for a moment. Or girl, he adds. He makes me chuckle once more. I'm glad to see you smile again, he says solemnly. I try to smile again for him, but it feels halfhearted. GaEul's smile makes the whole world better. You're too nice to me, I say. That's what friends are for, he shrugs. When I find out that my marriage is fake, I expect the same treatment from you, araso? I want to laugh at that joke, but it's too soon and the wound is still too raw. Sorry, he apologizes. It's okay, I softly say. You just want to make me feel better. I say. We sit there silent for a while

before I ask him for my cellphone. He hands it over to me, and sure enough, there are no messages. I fumble with the buttons, and finally, dial YiJung's phone. It rings, but he doesn't answer. I don't leave a message for him because I'm not sure what I should say. JiHoo watches, but doesn't say anything after I hang up the phone. BanJum seems happy here, I finally say, trying to keep my tone light, and to keep myself from thinking about my situation and just crying again. Yeah, he says. He likes the yard. I feel bad for keeping him up in apartment. I pick up the dog, and rub his belly. He's pretty smart, JiHoo remarks. Of course he is; he's my puppy. I say. JiHoo laughs a little, and I smile. Things aren't good, but being here is making them better. A week goes by, and my mood slowly improves. Waking up in the morning becomes easier, and I don't have to concentrate as much when I get out of bed. I start taking BanJum for walks around JiHoo's vast property, I stop crying so often, and I even feel well enough to speak to JanDi one day. I wish I could say that I stopped thinking about YiJung as much, but he was always in the back of mind. He had become part of my identity; part of my soul. JiHoo and I eat breakfast together each morning, and he gives me the latest count of number of phone calls from WooBin and JunPyo. I'm not as angry anymore, and I know they didn't mean for all of this to happen, but I'm still not ready to speak to them and forgive them, either. Everyday JiHoo asks me what I want to do, and I haven't been able to give him an answer, but today when he asks, I say, I'm going to leave a message for YiJung. He looks surprised. Do you know what you're going to say? I nod. Yeah, I do. Do it then, he encourages me. After putting my dishes in the dishwasher, I turn on my cellphone, and walk outside. Like usual, there are no messages for me. My hands don't shake as much when I dial his number. It rings several times, and then the computer voice politely informs me that the caller I've dialed is unavailable. I wait for the beep, and when it comes I say, Hey, it's me. I guess you don't want to speak to me, otherwise you would have called, I try laughing, but it sounds fake. Even if you don't want to speak to me, and stay together-- I almost say 'stay married,' but I catch myselfyou at least owe it to both of us to have one final conversation. I close the cellphone before I say anything else. There's a lot that I want to say, actually, but it all seems

wrong to say over the phone. Especially in a message. They're the kind of things that deserve to be said in person. JiHoo's and my routine is the same the next morning. We sit at the table in his kitchen, eating breakfast. He tells me, WooBin and JunPyo called once each yesterday. You can tell them they don't need to keep calling, I slowly say. I'm not angry anymore. Are you ready to speak to them? He asks, but I shake my head. Not yet. Tell them I appreciate their effort, and I'm going to be okay, but I just need a little more time. Okay. He finishes eating his meal before asking, What are you going to do today? I'm going to leave him one last message, but then I'm out. I take another bite of my meal, and grab the newspaper lying in the middle of the table. The headline today is of a train wreck near the airport. What do you mean? JiHoo interrupts my reading. I'm not going to bother him after today until he sends me something back. Some sort of sign. JiHoo nods, understanding. I don't want to be a burden, I say, but I think JiHoo understands my real meaning. I don't want to seem desperate. I feel desperate, but if YiJung isn't going to make any effort, is he worth the time? And tomorrow, I add, I'm going to start looking for an apartment. If I'm going to be single, I don't need a two bedroom apartment. I try to sound confident, but it feels weird to suddenly be single. With a real divorce, it takes so long, and is such a process, that by the time it's over, you feel single. You're going to give up? JiHoo asks. A relationship takes two people, JiHoo. I'm the only one invested here. There's nothing to give up, I say as a tear falls down my cheek. I haven't cried in four days, and I concentrate so that no other tears fall. As long as you're sure, he says hesitantly. I'm sure, I quickly respond. I'm not, but I can't keep my life on hold until YiJung decides he's mature enough to be with me. I call BanJum over, and take a picture of him with my phone. I type underneath the simple, 'we miss you,' and hit send before I can change my mind. The message disappears into the vast unknown, well on it's way to YiJung. I smile, and set the phone on the table, refusing to look at it. If I keep it on me today I know I will obsess, and check it every two minutes for a message. So, instead, I leave it there, and grab BanJum's leash.

I'm going to take him out, I say. Want to come? I'd love to, he says, but I can't. I've got to go to the office for a little while. He stands up, and takes his empty dishes to the kitchen counter. You're going to be okay here, by yourself? He asks me, unsure. Yeah, I say. And I almost believe it too. BanJum and I take our time outside, exploring the property, and sniffing various things. Well, BanJum does that. I just watch him move about, and occasionally throw a stick for him. Even though we've been going on walks for for nearly a week now, we can't have seen more than half of the land. I don't know how big JiHoo's property is, but it has to be one of the largest in Seoul. We go back inside after lunch, and I look over at the cellphone. A light is blinking. That means there's a message of some kind. I drop the leash, and run to the phone. I know that it's not going to get me there any sooner, but it seems like it will. I drop the phone twice on the table before I'm able to open it up, and before I dial the voicemail number correctly, I drop it once more. My breath hastens as I wait for the message to play. Damn, I was hoping you would answer. But, I guess I deserve it, for not answering your calls, YiJung sounds tired, worried and upset. I'm sorry for walking out like that; it was wrong and immature. I hope you didn't think this was like back then, I hear his voice crack a little as he becomes emotional, tell BanJum I say hi; you're right, I've grown to like him. Shit, I'm running out of battery, I'll be-- His voice cuts off, and I'm left to wonder what else he was going to say. I frantically dial YiJung, but his phone is turned off. His battery must still be dead. I drop the phone on the table, and look around for car keys. I need to tell JiHoo I'm leaving, and that I'm taking his car. I know what I need to do. I need to go find him. I'm not ready to give him up. He doesn't think it's like last time, and neither do I. I'm not going to let it become like last time. I'm going to find him, tell him I love him, and ask him to marry me properly. Chapter Thirty Eight My search for car keys is unsuccessful, and I quickly realize it's because JiHoo took his car to work. Damn. There are keys to his motorcycle in the garage, and I'm already sitting on it, trying to turn it on before I think. I have no clue how to ride a motorcycle. Nor do I have a motorcycle license. I want to

find YiJung; I don't want to kill myself in the process. I hate the idea of sitting around, waiting for a taxi, doing nothing, but I'm not going to do something stupid. Instead I call JiHoo, babble for a few minutes until he gets the idea that I need his car, and he says he'll meet me outside of the hospital. I tell him I'll be there in fifteen minutes, and then pray the taxi I called is here in two. Luck is on my side today, and the taxi is here on time; I tell the driver to take me to the hospital, and when we arrive JiHoo is just stepping out the door. I pay, and run over to JiHoo. You're going after him? His voice is steady, but I can tell he's excited for me. I can't let this go, I say. I'm going to give it my all, and if in the end he doesn't want me, well,... He's an idiot, JiHoo responds. Exactly, I smile, but deep down I'm a little worried YiJung doesn't want me. Would he really dare to break my heart again? I don't know. Here's the keys; I'm parked on the second floor next to the elevator. I hug JiHoo briefly, and say, thank you for being my friend. He lets go of me, says that he'll watch over BanJum, and tells me to hurry. I wave goodbye, and run in the direction of the parking garage. I'll have to think of some proper way to express my gratitude to JiHoo, but right now I need to concentrate on finding my not-husband. The car, true to his word, is next to the elevator, and is easy to find. I dump my bag on the passenger seat, and start the car up. Okay. If I were YiJung, where would I be? I should have made a list of places when I was waiting for the taxi. Dammit. Let's see. There's his other house...I'll try there first. I know where it is, but not from the hospital. Come on, JiHoo. Let's hope you have a navigator. I dig around the glove box, and press a number of buttons on the dashboard, but finally, I get a little screen to pop up. Yes! JiHoo, I love you. I plug in the address, and off I am. Fortunately, it's early enough in the day that I don't run into the infamous Seoul traffic. I do a silent prayer in the car, not only for YiJung to be at his other house, but for me to find him early enough that I don't get stuck in the traffic. It's takes little more than half an hour to arrive at his other house, and from the looks of it, he's not here. The few remaining house help are very surprised to see me. I ask to see the house manager, and when he comes into the living room I ask if he's seen YiJung.

No ma'am, he hasn't been here for a couple of weeks. Seeing my disappointed face, he offers up a few other locationsthe F3 houses. Shocking. He says he'll make up some tea so we can talk about the future of the house, but I decline. Not only do I need to leave and find YiJung, I don't know what to do about his house. I don't want to live there, but it's not right that YiJung just holds onto it, either. Wait, what am I talking about? I have no right to talk about his house. We're not married. I trod back to the car, slightly upset that my first attempt has failed, and try to decide on my next destination. Eventually I come to the decision that I should try my parent's house. Do I really think he might be there? No, but it's close-by, and maybe he at least stopped by to say hello. If he saw my father, he would have been able to keep it a secret from me. My mother? Not so much. The car seems to move on its own as I make the way to my parent's home. I've driven these roads so many times that I'm sure I could drive with my eyes closed, or even better, I could drive asleep. I won't, of course, but it just feels that way. My parent's house looks the same as always. The garden is newly trimmed, while the house is in need of an eternal paint job. I swear, my father spends more time outside re-painting the house, than inside with his family. Hoping that I can sneak past my mother in her shop, I make my way inside the house. My father, fortunately, is sitting in the living room. Appa! I smile. He looks up from his newspaper, and returns the smile. What are you doing here? I didn't know you were coming over, he says as he stands and gives me a hug. I wasn't planning on it, I say, trying to sound cheerful. I'm nervous and anxious, but I don't want him to know. So I pretend that everything is just fine. Has YiJung come by to visit you? I ask, hoping my tone of voice won't give me away. He looks at me with a confused face. No, he hasn't, he says and my heart drops, was he going to? Yeah, I try to say nonchalantly, he had something he wanted to ask you, I think. It's a lie, but I've told so many at this point that it doesn't even register on my brain. Do you know what it was? He asks, as he walks into the kitchen to find us some snacks to eat. Hm, I'm not sure, I say, maybe it was something about home maintenance. That sounds plausible, right? My father loves working with tools, and YiJung knows nothing about them. They could totally bond over home repairs. Oh? If you knew what he wanted, I could just loan you the tools, he says thoughtfully. GaEul, you really should have married someone who was smarter, he teases. Your stupid husband needs to learn these things for you.

Yeah, my stupid husband, I repeat, staring into space. I've gotten the information I neededYiJung isn't, and hasn't been herebut now I need to figure out some way to leave quickly. Even though I've struck out twice now, I'm not going to give up. I'm going to keep searching until I find YiJung. I have to find him. My father sets some snacks on a table in the living room, and turns his back to fetch drinks from the kitchen. I hold my hand up to my ear and pretend to receive a phone call. Yeah, it's lame, but it's the best I can come up with in the ten seconds my father isn't here. What JanDi? Calm down, and tell me slowly. I say everything in a voice much louder than my usual one just so my father is sure to hear it in the other room. What?! I say in an astonished voice. Your car is broken down, and you need me to come get you? Araso, araso. I quickly shut the phone as my father walks back into the room. He looks a little worried, and I hurry to explain. Sorry Appa, but JanDi is stuck in the middle of nowhere, and I need to get her. I stand up, and turn my back to my father, but he says, can't JunPyo go get her? Shit. I hadn't thought this far. He's uh, out of town today. Down in Jeju. That sounds believable, right? Thankfully, my father thinks so. He sounds disappointed, but he lets it slide. Well, tell her I'd like to see her again sometime soon, okay? He walks over and gives me a hug before letting me walk out the door. I feel a little guilty, knowing that I'm going to have to tell them the truth sometime soon. It will be hard, but I need to focus at the task at hand right now. I can worry about the truth later. It's not difficult knowing where I should look nextour apartment. I've been at JiHoo's all week; maybe YiJung decided to go home, and I wasn't there. Even if he isn't there, there might be a sign of him having been there. I can only hope. The drive home is longer than I remembered. It feels strange to park here, almost as if it doesn't feel like home anymore. Which is ridiculous. How can a place I've been living in for months lose it's home status in only a week? My hands shake as I put the key in the door, and I can tell that I'm holding my breath. This place, if any, is where YiJung would go. I hope. The door swings open, and I hope to hear the television, or to see the lights on. Neither happens. All of the lights are off, and there's a light coating of dust on everything in the apartment. I slump down on the coach, and sigh. I had really hoped that he would be here. The food is still sitting on the table, all of it rotten now. Actually, it kind of smells in here. I consider taking the time to clean up, but no. I need to keep looking.

There's only two other places I can think of. To get to one, I have to go by the other, so it shouldn't be too difficult. I really don't want to go to the first place. It feels invasive. But, what if he's there, needing me, waiting for me? I'll just extend my apologies. I'm going to his mother's grave. I drive, and feel more guilty the closer I get to the church. It's wrong to go by myself; I never met his mother. She has to understand, right? I park the car, and trudge inside. It's quiet, and I can tell that there is no one else in the building. No YiJung. But I've come this far, I should at least say hello and apologize for disturbing her peace. The walk to the back wall is longer than it seems. I make my way, and and see flowers by her box. I dare not let my hope run over me, but I'm positive. YiJung has been here. Omonim, I say, my voice shaking, it's GaEul. Can you forgive me for coming alone? I examine the bouquet of flowers; there's no tag, but they're lilies, her favorite flower. Omonim, did YiJung come to see you? I smile as I set the flowers back down. We've done a bad thing, Omonim; I hope you can forgive us someday. I need to go and find YiJung so we can work out our problems. Is that okay? Will you let me go? I bow and say goodbye once more before running outside the church. YiJung was here; I know he was here. The flowers look fresh enough. They couldn't have been there for more than a day. If he was here, than he must be where I'm headed to next: the cabin. It's on the way, and if I really needed to get away I would head down there. Checking my watch, I curse. It's getting close to rushhour now, and it's going to be miserable heading back to Seoul, hopefully with my not-husband YiJung in tow. I sigh, and set myself up for a long drive. It takes me longer than expected to find the cabin, mostly because YiJung wouldn't tell me where it was when we visited last weekend. I don't really know what to expect when I pull up. I'm 80% positive YiJung didn't buy the cabin, so maybe there are other renters. Or maybe YiJung rented it out again and is here. Or, maybe there will just be another sign he was here. There has to be something. The car goes around the last corner, and I see the pleasant little cabin. But, there are no cars parked here; it looks relatively abandoned. I sigh, but pull up to the cabin anyways. There's always the chance YiJung has been here, but left to do errands, or something. I walk up to the door, and am a little surprised to find it locked. I peek through the windows, but it doesn't look like anyone has been here since we were. Damn. Fighting the urge to cry, I walk slowly back to the car. I was foolish for getting my hopes up everywhere I went today. Each time I tricked my brain into thinking he had to be here, but each time he just disappointed me again.

The drive back to Seoul is slow and painful. I get stuck in traffic, but I don't care about it as much as I did earlier today. Why should I care when there's no reason to get home quickly? I park the car and realize that I'm back at YiJung's and my apartment. I wasn't thinking, and ended up driving here automatically. I'll just call JiHoo, and tell him I'll bring his car back in the morning; I don't have the energy to drive back to his house. Each step I take up the stairs is higher than the next. In my mind, I'm climbing Mount Everest to get to my apartment. It's dark and lonely in the stairwell, and suddenly I'm wishing I had brought BanJum with me today. He would pull me up the stairs, and keep me company tonight. I sigh, as I put my key in the door to the apartment. It's going to be dark and smell of the ruined, forgotten food. I'm going to have to clean it up tonight. I unlock the door, and open it. There's no smell. There's lights on in the living room. There's a very surprised YiJung standing in the living room. I drop my bag on the floor, where I stand, and ask quietly, where have you been? The corners of his mouth upturn as he says, I could ask you the same thing. Neither of us move; we seem glued to our spots on the floor. What do you mean? I ask suspiciously. I've been calling you all afternoon. That's weird, I say as I pick up my bag, and start digging around for my phone. Huh, it doesn't seem to be here. Oh shit. I remember. I left it on the table at JiHoo's house. I forgot it, I lamely say. YiJung nods and holds up my phone. I went and got it from JiHoo this afternoon. I walk over to him, and he gives me the phone. There's a million things running through my mind that I want to say...I love you...I missed you...Where the hell were you...Don't do that again...Stay by my side forever...I'm angry...I'm confused...I'm lonely...Our time together was the best of my life... But I don't say any of those. Instead I say, thank you, and look around the room. I realize there's no smell because he cleaned up the table. You threw out the food, I whisper. Yes; I did that this afternoon. He breaks out into a full grin, it was disgusting in here.

How long have you been here? I ask him. He checks his watch, almost four hours. I was hoping you would stop here, he softly says as he grabs one of my hands. I close my eyes, and let the feel of our skin touching each other take over my senses for a moment. But the I remember what he did, and I drop his hand, and take a step back. You left me, I say sadly. You looked at me at the time of our greatest need, and left me. I sound cold, and it's because I am cold. I'm so happy to see him, but I'm still angry. I did leave, he responds. It was wrong, and stupid, and the dumbest thing I've ever done. He opens his mouth to say something else, but I speak before him. It was exactly like five years ago, I say. Things got hard, and you left. Was it? He rubs his head, the connection dawning on him. I never thought about that GaEul. You have to trust me, it never occurred to me. My reasons for leaving then and now were completely different. Please let me explain. I love you YiJung. You're the love of my life, but is this how it's going to be? I ask. Are you going to freak out, every time something gets too hard? I'm not ready to give this up, I gesture between us, but if you're not in this relationship for real, I'm out. He steps closer to me, and takes my hands again. I'm in this for real, he says staring into my eyes. You're the love of my life, too, you know that? He smiles, and I can see a tear drop down his face. I wipe it away with my hand. Let's sit down, and I can talk, okay? I nod, and we both sit down on the couch. Last time, he begins, we were just beginning and when WooBin told me that I was in love with you, I didn't want to believe it. It was too soon, and I wasn't ready to give myself up to someone else, but you were, he says. I nod. I was always ready. So I got scared. I felt trapped, and I ran. It was cowardly. He looks down at the ground, fiddling with his thumbs. I don't say anything, and wait for him to continue. Then we got back together, and I fell even more in love with you. I didn't want it to happen, but it did, and I was the happiest I've ever been. You have to believe that. So we start making plans for the future, and then we find out that everything has been a lie? I couldn't believe it. I was angry with JunPyo and WooBin for lying to our faces. How can you repair a friendship after something like that? I was confused, and just needed to get out and think for a while. I was so angry with them, he says bitterly. But, then I talked to someone and thought about it some more, and you know what I realized? What? I ask breathlessly. I don't know if we would have gotten back together if it hadn't been for them. Think about it, he urges me. So I do. YiJung and I were friends with JanDi and JunPyo and WooBin and JiHoo, and we

acted like we were friends in public, but we had never done any friend things since we broke up. We never really talked about our relationship, and we were never alone in a room together. Anytime it looked like we might be left alone, one of us would leave the room. It was too raw, and too awkward. Maybe it was a good mistake, he offers. Maybe WooBin and JunPyo gave us the push we needed to work things out and realize we were meant to be. Maybe this is a case where the end justifies the means. They shouldn't have pulled that prank, but I'm so glad they did. Wait, I say, changing the subject. Who did you talk to? Guess, he grins. I honestly don't know, I say. My father. I went to his house. What? Why? He shrugs. I was tired of the bad blood between us. We're father and son, and even if he did things in the past that were wrong, he needs the opportunity to make up for them. I realized that I couldn't ask you to give me another chance, if I didn't do the same with him. Are things okay now? I ask. I'm proud and shocked that he would do this. I don't know if I could forgive his father; maybe YiJung is the better person between the two of us. They're better, he finally says. We're going to keep meeting each other, and see if we can have a relationship again. I smile, and he says quietly, I was always planning on coming back. I thought you knew... He trails off, and I know it's my time to talk. You just said you were leaving, I say. I thought you meant for good. I'm sorry, he says. I was confused and upset, and I thought I said it...better than that. I shake my head, and he grabs my hand. Was it really hard last week? I nod. I'm sorry. I don't ever want to make you cry. I let myself lean my head on his shoulder, and he sighs. We've missed this. Where were you today? He asks. I was looking for you, I respond. I went everywhere I thought you might be, and I tell him about my day. When I finish, YiJung is silent for a moment, and then starts to laugh. Naturally, I hit him. Ow! Why'd you do that? He rubs his arm, which I've probably now bruised. You laughed, and I was trying so hard to find you today! I really agonized over it.

I know, and I'm sorry, he says, while choking back more laughter. It's just that I did the same thing today. What? I'm a little surprised. Well, after my phone died, I knew I needed to get to you. So I went to the store, and bought a new battery, and then I went to your parents' house, JiHoo's, the cabin,...everywhere. I'm touched, and I don't know what to say. So instead, I lean in and kiss him gently. He breaks it off ands says, You really should have had your phone with you today, he grins. Then we would have had a lot more time for this. I laugh and kiss him once more. And then remember the other part of my plan. YiJung, I say, while he concentrates on kissing my neck. there's something I need to ask you. Mmhm? What's that? Unfortunately, he doesn't stop kissing my neck. I try to brush him away, but he's being very persistent. Well, it's his problem if this isn't the most romantic proposal ever. Will you marry me? My voice is barely above a whisper, and YiJung doesn't hear me. So I repeat myself. So YiJung, will you properly marry me? He stops kissing my neck, and looks straight at me. Dammit, GaEul. He frowns. What? Is he upset? Does he not want to marry me? Are we going to break up again? My heart races. I was supposed to do that. Oh. Now you've ruined the moment. He sticks out his tongue. Wait, no! We can get it back! Let's just sit on the coach, and I'll say, 'oh whatever should we do? We can't live together and be single,' and then you'll say, 'GaEul won't you marry me?' And it will be perfect. No, no. The moment is ruined. He frowns again. And I went all the trouble to get this, too, he pulls out a ring box from his back pocket. I thought we needed new rings, since these aren't really ours. He opens the box, and it's a gorgeous ring. Similar to the ones we haveor had, I'm a little confused as to their status right nowbut different enough for me to notice. The center diamond is surrounded by rubies in a vine design. It takes me a few minutes to process everything, and the whole time YiJung's focused on me. I catch my breath, and ask, is the moment back?

He laughs, and says, it was. You're really terrible at this, you know? I look away and ask, is there a question to want to ask me? He takes a deep breath and says, GaEul-yang. It's taken us far too many years, too many trips abroad, too many useless tears, and one too many fake weddings, but I love you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I hope I can make you as happy as you make me. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'd be honored if you would become my real wife. I grin and tell him yes before kissing him senseless. Hours later we're lying on our coach, YiJung is running his hands through my hair, and I'm feeling the rise and fall of his chest. It's peaceful, relaxing and right. What are we going to tell my parents? I ask. Well, we could start with the truth, and see how it goes from there, he responds. I laugh, and say, that sounds like a good beginning. Epilogue One Year Later I've done it. Forty minutes ago, I went and became Mrs. So YiJung. Not that I'm taking his name, or anything. That would be weird. I'm sitting here, at our reception, and every two seconds I have to pinch myself to make sure it all really happened. Or, I can just glance at my gorgeous husband who can't stop staring at me. It's been such a long road to this point that it doesn't feel real. We're seated at a long table, in front of one hundred of our best friends and family, and I want to cry of happiness. I can't believe these people love us this much to stand by us after everything we did. Coming out to my parents was probably the hardest. My mother almost fainted, and my father was so angry he didn't speak to me for almost a month. I'm not sure if my mother was more angry that we lied to them, or if it was because I was unmarried and living with a man. I cried a lot back then, but YiJung stayed by my side. After a long discussion, we decided it was time talk to JanDi, and to try and reconcile her and JunPyo. She couldnt quite understand that, in the end, we were happy JunPyo and WooBin lied to us because we would have never tried again otherwise. It took a couple weeks of persuading, but in the end, she forgave JunPyo. By that time, she was getting pretty big, so it was needed. A son needs a father, after all.

We quietly started making wedding plans, hoping that the press wouldn't care. But they did. Once the tabloids got word of So YiJung's fake marriage, he was in the papers nearly everyday. I was labeled as a tramp, and many people thought I forced him into the fake marriage by saying I was pregnant. Uh, hello? Our fake marriage lasted six monthsIf I had been pregnant, I would have been showing. I thought about writing a press release, with the truth in it, but YiJung waved it aside. No one would have believed me anyways, and he didn't want to encourage them peeping into our private lives. Not that we had much privacy back then. Photographers were permanently camped outside both his mansion and our tiny apartment. I was, for the first time, glad to be unemployed. I had no schedule to keep to; as long as there was food in the refrigerator, I didn't need to go outside. Of course, it still sucked to be under involuntary house arrest because the press were dying to photograph my every move. After staying in the apartment for three weeks straight, I went insane. YiJung held a mini-intervention for me. We were laying in bed, BanJum at our feet (much to YiJung's dismay) and he told me it was time. I needed to stop caring about what the public thought, and keep living my life. If I wanted to visit JanDi, and her rapidly growing belly, I needed to do that. Plus, he argued, he was tired of taking BanJum out for walks every morning. It made me laugh, and the next morning, I prepared myself for the onslaught I was about to receive. I took a deep breath, and promised to myself that I wasn't going to hide my face in shame. If they wanted to take photos of me, I was going to accept my punishment, and not hide any longer. BanJum and I walked out into the fresh air, and I had never heard so many light bulbs go off at once. It sounded like a bombing. But, it got easier. The next morning, my photo was in no less than seven different newspapers, and fifteen magazines. My mother counted. I shrugged my shoulders, and kept going outside, visiting friends and family, and even doing a little volunteer work. The more I went out, the less interest the press had in me. His career was pretty quiet after that; at least in Asia. People in Europe, and America have never heard of him, so he was able to do a couple of shows abroad. Still. It sucked when he left. Im not sure he would ever admit it, but I think he rather likes being a D-list celebrity right now. It may have taken the press 8 months to get bored with us, but once they did, they ignored us all together. And because his career isnt going any place right now, YiJung is free to just be a normal guy. My normal guy. We go to the cinema without sunglasses. We have picnics in the park with our now full grown dog. We can go grocery shopping without worry. Its freeing. Sure, we have taken the most roundabout way to get to this point, but the important this is that were here, and that were together and happy. YiJung taps my shoulder and whispers in my ear, interrupting my thoughts. Darling, people are

making speeches, and were supposed to clap. I turn to him and smile. Sorry. I was zoning out in our own happiness. He laughs. I keep having to remind myself that this is real, too. But it is. I say it firmly, without question. The last year and a half between us has been nothing but a trial, so our trust is unwavering. Yes, GaEul. It is. He squeezes my hand once, as we listen to a speech by my great-aunt. The time flies by quickly. Im sure there is at least an hour of rambling speeches by our various friends and family, but it doesnt feel nearly that long. Of course, it could have something to do with my being on cloud nine. Thats okay. Today is okay. I only come back to Earth when its time to cut the cake, and shove it in YiJungs face. Im not going to deny it. Ive been looking forward to this moment for weeks. And I might have mentioned that fact to everyone I came in contact with. Including YiJung. As our hands grasp the knife and cut two pieces, I can see YiJung grimacing. Worried? I ask. No, never, he breathes. Mildly concerned, maybe. He winks. My poor husband, I would never do anything to harm you. I grin devilishly, as I pick up the piece of cake with my hands, and raise it level to his face. Humiliate you in public? Now its my turn to wink as I smear the cake around his face--not even close to his mouth. Absolutely. YiJung takes a moment to recollect himself, and then he picks up his own piece of cake. Just remember dear, that revenge is so much sweeter. And with that, he throws the cake at my face. It splatters and smears all over my face, my dress, my hair, and the people surrounding us. Before I can scream, he grabs me, cake-covered hands and all, and pulls me tightly into his arms. God, I love you and your messy face, he says before he kisses me like theres no tomorrow. The last thought I have before my brain gives out to hormones, chemicals and emotions is that Ive never felt more loved. And in that moment, its absolutely, 100%, no questions necessary, true.