Hotmail Print Message

07/03/2012 11:55

Miscarriage
From: S P (sallyb101@hotmail.co.uk) Sent: 20 December 2011 16:08:10 To: carlyw_91@hotmail.com Hi Carly, thanks, erm... My beautiful daughter and the fact I have a reason gets me through, I think without a reason it would be harder to deal with and to move forward from, in the sense of trying again. As I'm single i'm not planning on trying anytime soon, but if/when I'm in a stable loving relationship I will try again, cautiously and with the knowledge that it might not work out. I think it makes my decisions easier knowing of my chromosome abnormality. for me it's the not knowing that always upsets/frustrates me with anything in life. Didnt get any professional help after the miscarriage, as i wasnt offered any. Although I do get support from genetics for any pregnancy and they will support me in lots of ways, from early dating scans - genetic testing on placenta at 12wks - termination if there is severe genetic abnormality which would result in severly disabled child (termination is a rough topic i know but one i would consider in my own position with their guidance) - genetic testing on any children i do have.. etc. Not sure about meeting up or filming... but if you need people to i will consider it Thanks sally. & MERRY CHRISTMAS to you too xx

From: carlyw_91@hotmail.com Sent: 20 December 2011 14:49:19 To: sallyb101@hotmail.co.uk Hey Sally, Firstly, please don't apologise for being you. I am pretty much a blunt person also so don't worry. Your story is really fascinating and it's people like you that inspire me and make me want to make this even more. What got you through it all? Do you worry about getting pregnant again because of having the miscarriage and because of the abnormality you have with your Chromosomes? Did you seek any professional help? If it came to it, would you be willing to meet up with me? If yes, do you think you would be willing to be filmed? Look forward to hearing from you soon and Merry Christmas. Carly From: S P (sallyb101@hotmail.co.uk) Sent: 15 December 2011 15:27:36 To: carlyw_91@hotmail.com Apologies in advance if any of this is upsetting, inconsiderate or blunt. My name is Sally Panther, I am 23yrs old and live in Lincolnshire. I have a daughter born 10/07/09 who was born with complications which could have been genetic so we had genetic testing done on her, myself and her dad (my then husband)
http://bl152w.blu152.mail.live.com/mail/PrintMessages.aspx?cpidsbcb9,c&isSafe=true&FolderID=a93c077b-021d-4878-a5c1-eb6938bc140b Page 1 of 2

Hotmail Print Message

07/03/2012 11:55

It showed that me and our daughter have a slight abnormality on one of the chromosomes, although this is unlikely to be the cause of her birth defects (which are now sorted) it could mean that both me and her, when shes older, are at slightly increased risk of miscarriage or disabled children. Although they are unwilling to give a likelihood percentage and have said it is only slightly increased risk, also that miscarriage is more likely than disabled child. I went on to have a suspected miscarriage in November 2010 but it was an unconfirmed pregnancy although I did have a faint positive home test, I did not have medical intervention. However in August this year I found out I was pregnant again, all to same father, I had positive home pregnancy test and pregnancy symptoms as expected.... as far as I knew all was going well and my little girl would soon be having a baby brother or sister to play with and fall out with. I went for my 12wk scan on 12/10/11 and expected to see my little alien just as I did with our daughter, but instead they struggled to find anything but then found a small bean just developing arms and legs. I knew my dates were accurate but the scan showed only a 6wk fetus and no heartbeat, although we were told a heartbeat is not guaranteed till 7wks, so we were told to go home and come back for another scan on the 19th unless anything happened before then. I was not happy with the doctors or the receptionist on this day, the doctors had to follow new guidelines to leave me another week carrying the baby I knew had stopped developing 6-7wks earlier, and the receptionist was just insensitive to the fact I was obviously upset. My head was a complete mess I was fully pregnant hormonally and still had my little bump, sore boobs and the rest of the joyous symptoms of pregnancy yet I knew my baby was lying dead inside me. The next week was a nightmare. I started to bleed lightly on 15th and any hope Id had was now gone, I visited a&e as advised but there was nothing they could do. On the 17th I bled heavily and lost significant blood and clots, I returned to a&e where I was told my cervix had closed and I had completed my miscarriage, I was not offered a scan until my previously arranged one on the 19th and the doctor spoke to me in a way I felt was very patronising....however on the 18th I again bled heavily and lost large clots, probably worse than the day before, again I returned to a&e were I was again spoken to as if I didnt understand that my baby wasnt going to survive, I was supposed to be nil by mouth but was never told or told why. After discussion they decided to admit me to the ward, the doctor attempted to complete my miscarriage with forceps!! OUCH!!!! Very insensitive and painful, with no success, he sent me for a scan which revealed I still had not fully miscarried so was booked in for ERPOC, which they kept changing their minds about if it would be that day or next day. Eventually they decided it would definitely be 19th, I stayed in overnight in case of 3rd significant loss. I was placed on a ward which seemed to be a bit of a dumping ground for both elderly and pregnancy, I was given a single room which for many would be a positive but it wouldnt have mattered to me if i was with pregnant ladies or new mums, as I was able to talk to other women who were pregnant when i went down to the shop/cafe and my friend who was only few weeks in front of me. On the whole I was happy with the Doctors/Nurses etc, although they did seem patronising, also the forceps was nasty. I never knew about missed miscarriage until it happened to me. I didnt feel we received any support after we left the hospital, although the sonographer when I went for the 2nd scan had saved a pic of my baby from the first scan which I got to keep, although my maternity notes were lost forever, as I was never given them back after first scan. As hard as the choice would have been, I think I would have rather been given the choice at my first scan to decide if I wait and see for a week or proceed with ERPOC. I dont think my babys father was very affected by either miscarriage as I think his negativity meant he always expected it after we were told of slight increased risk. If theres any other info you would like, feel free to ask :) Sally.

http://bl152w.blu152.mail.live.com/mail/PrintMessages.aspx?cpidsbcb9,c&isSafe=true&FolderID=a93c077b-021d-4878-a5c1-eb6938bc140b

Page 2 of 2