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Table Of Contents
A Personal Note From Jason King ...................................... 6 How To Get The Most Out Of This Report ........................... 7 Chapter 1: So You Really Like Her, Huh? Then Heres What You Need To Know First ................................................... 10
Youre Already Friends, The Hard Part Is Over Or Is It? ................................10 Why Is It So Hard To Go From Friend Into Lover? ........................................... 11 Compartmentalization And Boundaries............................................................. 11 Is She Receptive? Heres How To Tell ................................................................12 It Doesnt Matter What She Claims She Wants In A Guy ..................................13 Fantasy Vs Reality............................................................................................... 15 You Cant Logically Convince A Woman To Feel Attracted To You................... 15 Is This All There Is To The Experience Of You?.................................................16
Misconception #3 If She Only Knew How Bad He Was ............................. 35 Misconception #4 Attraction Will Come With Time ..................................... 36 Misconception #5 If She Only Knew How Much Im Hurting.................... 38
Chapter 10: Five Mistakes Guys Make When Attempting To Convert A Friend Into A Lover .......................................... 59
Mistake #1 Going After A Woman Who Has A Boyfriend Or Is Married ...... 59 Mistake #2 Making Her Wrong For Her Decision......................................... 59 Mistake #3 Pressing Her Into A Final Decision On The Spot ....................... 60 Mistake #4 Being Apologetic About Your Desire For Her............................. 60 Mistake #5 Thinking That You Need Her To Be Happy .................................61
A Few Last Words ............................................................. 62 Some Resources To Help You Continue Your Education... 63
Everyone does it a little differently, but I choose not to discriminate by the size of my goals. In other words, I feel just as good about achieving a tiny goal as I do about achieving a big one. Heres how you can apply this to the report. Each section is only a handful of pages, so you can easily read one section in a single sitting. You can set a goal to read one section per day (and to take notes in the margins), and then when you do celebrate the fact that youre increasing the chances of turning your friend into a lover. If you do it like this, you will have this entire report devoured in just over a week, which is a hell of a lot better than letting the file sit on your desktop and forgetting about it. Two Fantastic Reading Tips To Help You Retain More Lately Ive been reading some books on reading techniques, and one great tip that I see showing up in every book I read is to skim the entire report before you staring actually reading it. Heres how it works. After you print out the report (you did that already, right?) you just flip through the report and look at the names of the chapters and all the sub headlines. Then take a break for a few minutes, and go back and do it again, but when you do it the second time, just glance at a couple sentences from each section so you can start to get an idea of what each section is about. When you do this, you will arrive at each section and already be a little familiar with the content. This definitely helps you remember more of the report. Heres the second tip that will help you immensely. I just learned this a week ago, and Ive been having amazing success with this technique. When you arrive at each section of the report, notice how there is a sub headline that is in underlined and in bold. When you see a sub headline like that, what you do is turn it into a question. Heres how this works. Look at the sub headline for the section youre reading right now. It said, Two Fantastic Reading Tips To Help You Retain More. What you can do is turn that into a question that would read like this:
What are these two fantastic reading tips, and how will they help me retain more information? Do you see how this automatically sets your mind in a direction to find the answer to the question? You will definitely retain more of this information if you do this with each and every section. Even if youve never heard of this technique, just try it anyway. You dont have to actually write out the question, although that might be helpful too. Just ask the question in your mind, and then read on to find the answers. Okay, enough preparation. In the next section, youre going to learn the basics of turning your friend into a lover. It should only take ten minutes to read the next section, so if youve got a few minutes, go ahead and read it right now. After you understand the basics, you can start creating a plan to turn your dream of being in a relationship with your friend into a reality.
Chapter 1: So You Really Like Her, Huh? Then Heres What You Need To Know First
Youre Already Friends, The Hard Part Is Over Or Is It?
Its a story told time after time and again theres this girl, shes great and Im in love with her, but she just wants to be friends. Or she already has a boyfriend and he treats her rotten. How about she just ended a relationship and doesnt want any commitments right now. Or the ever popular Ive know her all my life and she cant see me as anything other than a friend. Remember When Harry Met Sally - that movie with Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal? A girl and a guy meet, hate each other, meet again and become friends and years later become lovers. Almost every guy has had a crush on a girl whos his friend. But sometimes its different, once in a while it isnt a crush, its more, its real and its love. What now? How can you go from being a friend to a lover? Is it possible? Will it work out? What happens if it doesnt? What happens if I cant convince her? Wow, lots of questions to consider and a lot of scary stuff to think about. But if you dont try, then youll never know. Its kind of like the lottery the only for sure thing is if you dont buy a ticket, you cannot win. I know who wants to get hurt like that what if she totally rejects me, how humiliating! Guess what? Thats the risk youre going to have to take if you want the reward of her affection.
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So back to our discussion how to turn your girl-friend into your girlfriend. How are we going to make it happen? Are there tricks you can use? Can you covertly persuade her to see you in a sexual context? Should you just lay it all out on the table and let her choose? Well, in case you hadnt noticed, love is not a game and tricks do not work. Oh sure, it might for a while but it never lasts. You cannot trick someone into loving you and you cannot fool them either. If you truly want this girl to become your lover you will have to do some things that will be fun, ridiculous and even wacky at times, but these are things that have proven to work.
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in your relationship, especially when she first hears about it, but have faith thats what the techniques in this report are all about.
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sleep with the second guy right away, while the first guy couldnt even get her clothes off? The answer is simple. She was able to see the second guy in a sexual context right from the start. The first guy was already compartmentalized as a friend, and so it would require an enormous amount of work to get to the same place that the second guy started out in. Does she insert friend reminders into her conversation? This one might be harder to pick up on at first, but once you start seeing them, youll wonder how you ever missed them in the first place. I have a lady friend who always says things like: Im so glad were friends. Youre my best buddy. Isnt it great that we can be friends, and not have to worry about all the kissy kissy stuff that makes things so complicated? (yes, she actually said that talk about a hint!) These are known as friend reminders. Theyre meant to prevent you from thinking that there are any romantic possibilities between you two. Its basically a nice way of saying, I like you as a friend, but I am never going to sleep with you or be your girlfriend. If shes saying these things to you, then consider that you got your moneys worth from this report just by discovering a signal shes been putting out that you were previously unaware of, and now you can move on. Believe me. If shes going through the trouble of saying things like that to you, then she is well aware that you like her as more than a friend, and shes trying to prevent an awkward situation by discouraging you from continuing down that road.
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Just because she claims to want a certain kind of guy, and despise another kind of guy, that does not mean shes giving you correct information. If you want to know what she really wants in a partner, just look at the men shes been with in the past, and realize that thats what shes actually attracted to. If she typically dates guys who are never there for her emotionally, consider that she is playing out a drama that runs very deep inside her. Shes subconsciously trying to get something resolved from her childhood, and nothing you say or do can change that even if you point it out to her. If she typically dates guys who are charismatic, exciting, and yet are complete jerks and treat her badly, thats what shes attracted to. You might even rationalize that if you could make yourself into a charismatic and exciting person, but leave out the jerk aspect, that shed fall madly in love with you. But you know what, youd be disappointed to find out that the part of the guy thats a jerk is the one magic ingredient that makes all his other qualities even more attractive. People are attracted to those who represent an opportunity for them to complete something that is unhealed and incomplete from their childhood. Often times a woman is attracted to a man who has the same qualities that she hates about her own father. This is not a conscious decision, and she probably wouldnt admit it, even if you pointed it out to her. Her subconscious mind is pushing her to heal this part of herself by putting herself back into similar situations from her childhood. History is more reliable than peoples self opinions If youre dealing with a person who is a compulsive liar, and they tell you that deep down, they are really honest and truthful youd be basing your assessments on the wrong information if you listened to what they said. What you need to go by is their consistent history demonstrated over time. In other words, it doesnt matter what she tells you she wants in a man. What matters is what shes demonstrated that shes attracted to. Start paying attention to that, and use that information to judge
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whether or not you can provide that for her and most importantly, whether youd be happy being with someone whos attracted to those qualities. If, deep down, she really wants a bad boy, and yet she says she wants a nice guy to marry, what shell do is marry a nice guy, and cheat on him with a bad boy. And that brings us to our next topic
Fantasy Vs Reality
Have you observed your lady friend exhibiting what youd consider to be bad behavior while shes with another guy? Has she lied to guys in the past? Has she cheated on guys in the past? His she mistreated any of her previous boyfriends? Has she ever revealed private information to you about him? One of the traps that guys fall into is that they think that she will magically change into a princess by being with them. Make no mistake about it, you are doing the same thing that I mentioned in the previous section. You are running a pattern from your childhood, and trying to rescue her by creating a supportive environment for her to turn into your magical princess. Jason Kings Personal Tip: Listen to me very carefully shes not going to transform by being with you. If you dont fit the type of guy shes typically attracted to, then you have to face the fact that even if you persuade her to be with you, shes going to feel compelled to sabotage the relationship and be with the kind of man she thinks she deserves (which may be a lesser man than you are).
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When you see a hot, sexy woman walking down the street, how long does it take you before you want to strip her naked and take her into your bed? Less than 3 seconds, I bet. You dont sit there, create a list or pros and cons of being with her, evaluate her body type and compare that with your ideal woman, and then make a conscious choice to feel attracted to her. You just feel it. Its not a conscious choice. The same holds true for her. It doesnt matter how good of a case you can present for the fact that youre better than the guys shes usually with. If she doesnt feel attracted to a guy, no amount of convincing or logical argument is going to make her feel that attraction. If, on the other hand, she does feel attracted to a guy, then no amount of logical reasoning from her friends or family is going to change the fact that shes attracted to him. This is why you cant convince a girl whos got a lousy boyfriend to break up with him, even if youve got lots of good reasons. She sees those same things that you see, and her attraction for him is a much more powerful influence. Shes intoxicated with sexual attraction, and so she cant think about this from a logical, objective point of view. If you doubt this, just think about how irrational you become when youre about to have sex with a woman. Are you thinking clearly in that moment? If shes in love, the last thing you should expect is for her to be able to think about this logically.
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The answer is simple. Theres nothing new to look forward to by making the commitment. Theres nothing new that will happen with an engagement ring that isnt already happening now. Nothing will change. They will still live together. They will still be annoyed by each others habits. Theres nothing new and exciting to look forward to by proposing and getting married if youre already living together. Think about this in terms of a friendship between you and your lady friend. Has she already experienced what its like to be your girlfriend, but without the sex? Are you already paying for her dinners once in a while (or every time)? Are you already doing special favors for her? Are you already listening to her problems all the time? Are you already available to her whenever she needs you? Do you two already have really good, deep conversations? If so, then the only thing that would be new if you two began a relationship is there would be sex and a change in title (as in, this is my girlfriend, Laura, instead of this is my friend, Laura). When you get into a relationship with someone you just met, its exciting and everything is brand new. It seems like there are endless possibilities, and you are enthusiastic about getting to know this new person, and letting them get to know you. It represents an opportunity to grow, and become a new person by seeing yourself through the eyes of someone completely new and different. Its intoxicating and there are surprises around every corner. Is this the case with you and your friend? Has she already experienced most of what there is to you? What is there to look forward to other than sex? What experience of newness and mystery can you provide her with? How can you show her that there is so much more to you thats waiting to be experienced but only if she earns the right to call herself your girlfriend?
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SIDENOTE: This is an important question for you as well. What do you think is going to be different if you two hook up?
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1: _____________________________________________ _______________________________________________ _______________________________________________ 2: _____________________________________________ _______________________________________________ _______________________________________________ 3: _____________________________________________ _______________________________________________ _______________________________________________ Chances are, these are the very things that you need to stop doing immediately. They arent getting you any boyfriend points with her, so just stop it. She doesnt appreciate them in the way that you hope she does. Sure, she might be grateful that you do those things, but if some guy who shes attracted to came along and bought her a candy bar, shed be ten times more appreciative of that than shed be if you paid for her dinner yet another time. Why? Because youve trained her to expect it. Think about that.
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go to a machine that will give you what youre looking for. The same thing is true for relationships. Why would you continue to invest your intention, energy, hopes and feelings into a woman who isnt capable of returning them, and also who doesnt even really notice your feelings in the first place? Im not saying that you should give up on your friend. Im just saying that sometimes its obvious that youre not getting anywhere, and what you need to do is take your emotional money and invest it into someone who will reciprocate. This isnt the case for everyone, but I guarantee that there is someone whos reading this right now who needs to hear this message. He knows theres something not quite right, but he cant place his finger on it. He feels torn, but hes not sure how to articulate it. The vending machine example is a useful way of looking at relationships in your life that no longer serve you. Just realize that they were good for a while, but you dont need to keep pumping your money into them forever.
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Remember, theres no need to feel guilty for how you feel about her. You never need to apologize for your feelings. You do need to apologize for your behavior if its inappropriate, but not for your feelings. This report is about learning to express your feelings in a way thats both appropriate and appealing to her.
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people that really annoy me when Im out in public. These are people who I can smell a mile away, and who I go out of my way to avoid contact with. They are: The Mall Solicitor Our local mall in Providence, Rhode Island is pretty huge. Its three levels, packed with medium to high-end stores. There are also lots of freestanding kiosks in the center of the walkways. These are the ministores that dont require a normal storefront. Often times their product line is limited to just a few things. They sell things like: Beauty products & skin care One specific kind of toy that has high appeal Cell phones (this is a big one) Nail grooming kits (home manicure type of stuff) Steaming irons that get wrinkles out of your clothes (yeah, I bought one) And the list goes on and on. Im sure you know what Im talking about. Almost every time I walk from one end of the mall to another, I get approached by several different people who ask me questions to try and hook me into talking with them. The cell phone people are particularly good at this. Its annoying, and I deliberately avoid eye contact with them so they dont feel comfortable approaching me. My good friend, Steve likes to answer them in a foreign language so they get confused, and dont know how to respond The second type of person who drives me nuts are the: Network Marketers These are the people who walk around the bookstores (usually near the magazine racks and the business books) and start conversations with you from thin air. They appear to be really interested in your goals and dreams, but what they really want to do is hook you into joining their network marketing business.
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I dont mean any offense if you happen to be in one of these businesses. In fact, you might learn something really valuable in this section about how to deal with people. Why am I telling you all this? The reason I dont like dealing with the people I mentioned above is because when Im talking to them, they have a way of placing psychological weight on me. I can sense that they dont have any real interest in talking to me other than their own selfish agenda. Theres a book called Silent Power by Stuart Wilde that you should check out. He describes this phenomenon called psychological leaning much better than I could. Its not important that you understand every aspect of this right now. I just need to bring this up, because its going to be very useful when we actually get to the section on the specific tactics and communication techniques. You must become good at talking with people in a way that is inviting, not pulling. When youre inviting, youre like a big, attractive magnet who is holding the door open and saying, hey, come on in. Youre placing no psychological weight on the person. Youre not trying to get them to do anything or agree with your point of view. Youre merely sharing yourself with them from a leaned back, relaxed point of view. When you are leaning on someone, its like you are throwing your grappling hooks at them, and trying to pull them into staying in a conversation with you. This is where manipulation is needed, because people wont want to keep talking with you otherwise. Manipulation may get you what you want in the short term, but if you want to have people who are in your life, because they genuinely like you and want to be near you, manipulation is a terrible idea. Becoming aware of psychological leaning As you go throughout your day, practice observing people and notice if they are leaning on you psychologically. If you want to get a good experience of what it feels like to have someone lean on you, just walk around in your local shopping mall, and make eye contact with the cell phone people. Trust me, theyll lean on you right away. The same
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holds true for telemarketers. If you get people who call you to sell you stuff, stay on the phone with him, and see how they will try to sink their grappling hooks into you and pull you into buying. Theyll use any tactic they can think of, even guilt, to get your cash. This one distinction can change your life if you really integrate it into your style of communicating. Thats why Im spending so much time on it here. I know this report is about turning your friend into your lover, and this distinction is a huge part of that. Youre going to need to have a working awareness of psychological leaning so that you can make sure you avoid it when you have the conversation with her about the two of you being together.
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are about to lose out on a great opportunity forever. Do you see how this might have some useful applications when it comes to women and dating?
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communicate your desires to this girl if youre waiting around for a green light on her part. Instead of worrying about whether or not you have her permission to be so bold, its easier to ask for forgiveness if you do something she doesnt like. At least you tried. Now, thats not a license to go and pull her clothes off and have sex with her without her consent. Im just saying that sometimes you need to jump, and the bridge will magically appear. And if it doesnt, you can deal with it. Trust me, you really can.
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Are you willing to put yourself through the pain of always wondering if you two would have been happy together? I tell you this theres a lot of value in knowing for certain where you stand with her romantically. At least if things dont work out, youll get some closure, and you are finally free to explore other women without holding back (because youre no longer waiting for the opportunity to be with her). And what if things do work out? What if she agrees to be with you, and you two live happily ever after? How great would you feel if you finally got that girl? Thats a rich reward, and its worth going after. But you have to go after it 100%. No more of this half-assed wishing shed be with you stuff.
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Misconception #1 If She Only Knew How I Felt, Shed Feel The Same
Have you ever had a girl who wanted to date you, but you werent interested? Did the fact that she liked you have any major influence on your decision to like her back? No you like what you like, and nobody else is going to change that just by wanting you to change your mind. Sure, you can be persuaded, but your mind isnt going to change just because somebody wants it to. Persuasive action is required. The same is true with your lady friend. Just knowing how you feel isnt going to magically flip some switch inside her that will turn on the attraction.
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smoked when I was younger, but quit a long time ago). I told her that I was going to quit smoking, and do you know what she said to me? Jason, I dont want you to quit smoking for me. And even if you do quit smoking, I still dont want to date you. Ouch! The same thing happened with another girl. She wanted to date a guy with long hair, and so I spend two years growing my hair long hoping shed become attracted to me. She ended up marrying a guy with short hair. When you see your lady friend dating guys who have qualities that you dont, you might be tempted to think that if you add those qualities to your personality, she will magically become attracted to you. She wont. In fact, she will completely lose respect for you, because you are too much of a wimp to be your authentic self. If shes attracted to a particular type of guy, its because she likes the mixture of his traits. If you try to take on his traits, what youll be doing is adding your own deeply held traits with your version of his traits and it will come across as completely inauthentic and fake. Lets imagine that what she likes is a cheeseburger, and you are chicken soup. Do you really think that you can take a cheeseburger and put it inside a bowl of chicken soup and have it pass as just a plain old cheeseburger? No, it will be an odd mixture, and probably taste terrible. What you need to do instead is look for a girl who likes chicken soup.
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Sure, you can see that hes not a suitable mate for her, but for some reason, she doesnt see that. If only you could convince her and make her see that he a jerk, shed immediately break up with him, and realize that because you cared so much about her that she should be with you instead, right? Wrong. Dont even think about it. If you try to convince her that hes no good for her, shes not going to take your advice. In fact, shell probably use your words as ammunition for a future argument with him. She might say something like, Youre such a dick. Even my friend Bob thinks youre a dick. Hes warned me dozens of times that youre a liar and a cheater, but I didnt listen blah blah blah. Guess what? An hour later they will have made up, and he will start trying to convince her that youre trying to ruin the relationship and that she should stay away from you. Now youve got him wanting to kick your butt, and her resenting you for trying to get in the way of her happiness. Sure, things might get so bad in her relationship that she finally sees the light and breaks up with him. And as we all know, hindsight is 20/20. She may come to you and apologize and say that you were right, but shes still not going to be attracted to you. Instead, shes going to complain to you endlessly about how bad he was, and shell probably go off and have ex-sex with him. She might even get back with him, or start dating someone else just like him. Remember when I said, attraction isnt a choice? No amount of logical convincing is going to cause her to lose her attraction for him. If you try, shell stop regarding you as a friend, because youre trying to stop her from doing what she really wants. Even if hes the worst guy ever, youve got to let her figure that out on her own.
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While its true that you can grow attached to someone over time, attraction is something that happens instantly. If shes not attracted to you now, she isnt going to in the future unless you change dramatically. Personal Note From Jason: I hate to even say this, because deep down I know that youre perfect just as you are. Deep down I know that its better for you to just find someone who thinks youre perfect, but if you have your heart set on this girl, youre going to have to work on becoming a newer and better version of yourself. The only way for her to re-evaluate her level of attraction for you is for you to become new in her eyes. The best way that I know of to do this is to not see her for a while, and do your changing while youre away. Some ideas for transforming yourself are: Lose weight and/or get fit Just start going to the gym and exercising. Find out what kind of exercise you like to do and do it. I personally wouldnt step foot in a gym, because I find it boring. Instead, I go running every morning, play volleyball twice a week, take dance lessons and I also take kung fu lessons. SIDENOTE: Make sure you check the resources section in the back for a teleclass that I strongly recommend that you take. Its a free class that you take over the phone, and it helped me realize why I was resisting exercising. Change your hairstyle to something new If youve always had the same look, treat yourself to a high end salon, and ask for someone who specializes in mens hair. Tell them that you want a completely new look, and ask them to suggest something based on the frame of your face, and your overall goals in life. Dont go getting a punk rock haircut if youre in your 40s, and work in a corporate environment. Thats just stupid. But you can maybe grow it out a little, get some bangs or spike it and get blonde highlights, and start using hair product to texture it.
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Change your style of dress If youre not used to dressing nice, then youre going to need some help here. While youre at the salon, ask them if they know anyone who is a personal shopper for men. If you dont have any luck, try typing personal shopper your location into Googles search engine. For example, I would type in personal shopper Rhode Island. Personal shoppers are a great resource, since they can look at you with a new set of eyes, and determine what clothes would make you look your best. Become more outgoing This is something that takes time and a lot of practice. Start going to new social events that youve never been exposed to before. Take a personal development seminar (Ill have a resource section in the back where you can check out places I recommend). I do all of the above, but my main preference is personal development seminars. Start dating again What?! Have I gone mad? This whole book is about learning to get your friend to date you, and now Im telling you to date other girls? Yes, I am. And Im not just suggesting that you date one girl, Im suggesting that you date several at once. Nothing will change your attitude about yourself and your life, and make you more appealing to women than having the experience of having several women being interested in you at the same time. Trust me on this I was dating (and sleeping with) five women at one point in time. It seemed like the more women I dated, the more women wanted to be with me. The rich really DO get richer These are just suggestions. In the end, I recommend you do these things for yourself, not for her. Its a lot easier to find someone who likes you for who you are than it is to become someone elses idea of a perfect man. But if youre committed to being with this girl, or at least giving it a shot, then these tools are your best possible chance.
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Theres this idea that us guys get that goes something like this: If she only knew how much Im hurting, then shed realize how much I care for her, and shed feel the same way. This is almost the same thing as, If she only knew how I felt about her, shed feel the same way. Its simply not true. In fact, if you go and tell her how much its killing you inside that shes not with you, shes going to feel guilty, and she start to avoid being with you, because you are a source of bad feelings for her. Deep down, were all a bit selfish. We want to spend time around the people who make us feel good about ourselves, and we avoid people who make us feel bad about ourselves. If you think that by telling her how much pain youre in, shes suddenly going to feel attracted to you, youre wrong. Shes going to resent the fact that youre trying to get her to mother you, and shes going to resent you for the fact that youre making her responsible for your bad feelings. And guess what if she starts feeling bad around you consistently, shes going to stop associating with you. I know thats not what you want, so if you subscribe to misconception #5, you need to let it go.
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why she said yes, and why you two have only remained friends all this time. She may not know why she said yes, and if you force her to come up with logical reasons, she might realize that she doesnt have any and change her mind. Chances are, it was an emotional decision, so just let it be. Now is the time to talk less, and just be with each other.
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dating scene again. Isnt it better to feel relieved than to feel bad about yourself for not being enough? The truth is, you are enough she just wants someone different, not someone better.
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One of the things that you need to realize when youre on a date with a woman is that you, as the man, are the one who sets the emotional tone for the date. I dont mean that to sound sexist or old fashioned, but if you asked guys who are extremely successful with women and dating they would tell you the same thing. Are there exceptions? Yes. But they are rare, and if you run across a woman who makes is obvious that she wants to be in control, you can relax and enjoy the ride. Or just find someone whos better suited for your dating style. Right now, I just want you to get that YOU are the one who sets the tone, and the pace of the date. Women expect you to know what you want, and to go after it without guilt, embarrassment, or apology. WARNING: This is not a permission slip to go and take advantage of women, or force yourself on them. Quite the opposite. Give women the gift of your sexual attention. Know deep in your heart that youre about to give her something wonderful, and they will rarely give you any resistance. And if they do, just change your strategy and calibrate to the person youre on the date with. SIDENOTE: By the way. What does it mean to set the tone of the date? It simply means that from the time you meet up, until the date ends, there should be an overall FEEL that is either constant, or gets gradually more intense as the night goes on. Lets say you pick her up, and you walk up to her confidently and give her a hug, and kiss her hand. Then you open the door for her, and let her into your car. What you are doing here is subtly letting her know that you are comfortable being a gentleman, taking care of her, and that you are comfortable being physical with her. You should maintain that attitude with her throughout the night. If you are comfortable with it, she will be comfortable with it.
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So when I say tone, what I mean is the general attitude that you have, and the general attitude that you naturally expect her to have. If youre truly comfortable with making out with her on the first date, and you genuinely dont see anything wrong with it, she will sense that and start to feel the same way. The secret of the dancer A couple years ago I was taking a Swing Dancing lesson, and the teacher shared a secret with me that I have always remembered. She said: On the dance floor, and in life the woman looks to the man for her emotional state. Its the man who sets the tone, and he should take that responsibility seriously. Lastly, when I refer to setting the pace, what I mean is that you should have some idea of how FAST, and how far you are going to go with her on that date. Shell intuitively detect how comfortable you are with being intimate. Even if shes never been that forward with a guy on a before when she looks to you and sees that there are no mental roadblocks on your side she may just give herself to you fully, just because you communicated to her, through your words, your voice, your body language, and how you touch her that its perfectly acceptable and okay. When she knows that you wont judge her as being slutty, you will be surprised at how readily she will give herself to you. [MAKEOUT MASTERY SECTION ENDS HERE] I put that section in here for a reason. When you have this conversation with her about becoming lovers, you need to manage your emotional state so that youre the leader of the conversation. You need to make it clear that youre totally comfortable with the fact that you desire her. Youre not doing anything wrong by expressing how you feel about her. You should never have to apologize for your feelings. Its your
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behaviors that you need to account for, not your feelings. Remember what Im saying here when its time to talk to her, so that when you go into the conversation, she will have a strong male to look to as a reference for how she should be feeling about this interaction.
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Okay, so youve made it this far, and now youre ready to talk to her. No tricks just a straight up conversation to let her know where you stand, and where you want the two of you to go together. Here are some things to consider: Location I suggest you have this conversation at an informal place someplace where you will be able to part ways in case things go badly. You also want to keep your location near one of your homes in case things go really well, and you want to go someplace more private For example, you dont want to talk to her about this over dinner, because if she gets upset, or things get uncomfortable, you two will be stuck there until dinner is over. I suggest someplace casual like a coffee shop, or even a park. Dont do it while youre at your house or her house, because if she feels weird and its obvious that she wants you to leave, you dont want her to feel weird and/or trapped. She needs to have the freedom to escape if she wants to. Setting The setting should be casual. It should not be anything formal at all, because then it will seem like youre building up to something really big. Youre not asking for her hand in marriage, youre just having a conversation, and the most important thing is that you both feel comfortable. What should you actually say? This section is particularly important, because you may not be sure what youre actually going to say to her yet. Im going to give you a template to follow, but Im not going to give you a word for word script. Why? Because if you copy my words, then your message will come across as inauthentic, and the conversation will not go well. I dont know you and your lady friend. You two have a manner of speaking to each other that Im not familiar with. Your words should be your own, not some version of mine.
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Okay, with that said, here are the three main things youll want to tell her. 1. Let her know that youve been thinking about your friendship with her for a while, and that you want her to know that youre glad that you two are friends. Explain that over the course of time, things have changed for you in a good way. 2. Tell her that there are some pretty cool sides to you that shes never gotten to see, because you only reserve that stuff for people who youre really close to (this will let her know that theres more to you than shes already been exposed to). 3. Explain youd like to share those things with her, and take things to the next level by being her boyfriend (I think it would be a good idea to take her hand and hold it while youre telling her this part, just to add to the emotional impact). The rest, as they say, is up to you. Use this template, and form your own message. It should not be long at all. It should only take you a minute or two to tell her how you feel. You arent giving her a lecture, and if you get into too much detail, you will engage her logical mind (the same part of her mind that she uses to go food shopping and balance her check book). This is a conversation of the heart not the mind. Dont start talking about logical, left brain stuff with her. Keep it vague, and feeling oriented, and you will do a lot better. Honestly, what you say is far less important than how you say it. And that leads us to our next section, which is:
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Dont be all heavy and emotional. If you act that way, shes going to instantly feel awkward. Dont believe the crap you see in the movies where the man breaks down crying and confesses how he feels. That kind of stuff will make you look like an ass in real life. Plus, youll only end up making her feel guilty about how sad you are, and like I said earlier, giving her bad feelings is not a good way to start things off. This is about making her feel good about the possibility of being with you. WARNING: Do NOT mention anything about the fact that the other guys shes dated have proven to be bad for her. This is not a logical discussion, and shes going to just think that you dont understand her at all. Keep it nice and positive, and dont make her wrong for anything shes done in the past, especially her choice of men.
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Most people wait until the end of the date to give a girl the good night kiss. The problem with that is you end up being nervous for the last hour of the date, because youre worried about how the good night kiss will go (or if it will even happen at all). Your mind starts coming up with all kinds of excuses not to kiss her. But what if she doesnt like to kiss on the first date. Yeah, but what if she wants to kiss me, and I get nervous and blow it. Then shell think Im not interested in her. Should I use my tongue, or just give her a little kiss? Will she think Im too forward, or that Im a player? This kind of mind-chatter will get you nowhere. You will get much further with her if you just let her body make the decisions, not her mind. I also know what this kind of anxiety feels like. Thats why I developed a technique that makes getting the first kiss extremely easy. You have to get that she really does want to kiss you. Youre on a date with her for Gods sake! Shes not waiting for you to screw up, so she can point out what a loser you are. You have to be confident, and know that she really does want to kiss you. And thats what youre about to learn, so get ready because this little technique is dynamite! Ive used this with almost every woman I dated, and it has always worked. But before we go into the technique itself, we need to learn
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pleasurable. What spot are we going for? Its about one inch in front of her ear.
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imagination to ever pull off a little move like this. Ive never had a woman give me a negative response. Every single one of them loved it. You see if she gives you the signal that she liked it, you can always go forward from there, and kiss her lips. This priceless little trick has been King tested, King approved many MANY times. Can you see me smiling? [MAKEOUT MASTERY SECTION ENDS HERE] I inserted the section about the secret kiss, because its a great way for you to say what you want to say without saying a thing. If you give her a little kiss in front of her ear and hold it for a couple seconds that will speak volumes about how you feel. It will also pull her into the moment instead of her having a conversation with herself inside her head.
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Just use the template that I gave you for the verbal conversation, and put that in the form of writing. Jason Kings Personal Tip: You want to make this a little special for her, so actually mail the letter through regular snail mail. And yes, make it handwritten, unless your writing is very sloppy. Make sure you manually handwrite the address on the envelope as well. You want to make it as special as you can. People always open handwritten letters first.
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and of seeing her date jerks. Its very tempting, but the bottom line is this you did not have the childhood that she had. You do not know what kind of programming her subconscious mind has, and so you dont know what kind of guy her subconscious mind is driving her to seek out. Even if she said yes, she would not be happy being in a relationship with you. Would you sacrifice her happiness just so you could be happy? Is your definition of being happy being with someone who doesnt want to be with you? If you start experiencing these dark emotions and thoughts, remember that she has every right to say no to you, just like you have the right to say no to any woman in the world. Like I said in the section above not everyone likes wine. If she said no, then thats a statement about her preferences, not about your worthiness.
Let Her Know That Its Okay, But You Need Time Apart
Just because she said that she prefers to stay friends does not mean you have to stop spending time with each other. Just explain to her
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that you understand, and that you just need some time away from her to get your head together, and get back into the dating world. WARNING: Theres one last thing I want to mention here. I know this is going to be tempting as hell, which is why Im bringing it up. Do not, under any circumstances, try to launch a campaign to change her mind. If you do, you will instantly go from a friend who has feelings for her to a former friend who is unbelievably annoying. She will avoid you like the plague if you try to change her mind after this, so even if you think that she can be persuaded, trust me she cant. Respect her decision, and respect yourself enough to find someone who does want to be with you.
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Chapter 10: Five Mistakes Guys Make When Attempting To Convert A Friend Into A Lover
Mistake #1 Going After A Woman Who Has A Boyfriend Or Is Married
Okay, this is a very common mistake. First of all, if you start telling your lady friend about how much of a jerk her boyfriend is, shes going to resent you for trying to get in the way of her happiness. Even if he really is a complete dick, and treats her badly, it is not your place to try and convince her of that. It will turn you from a friend into an instant pain in the ass (in her eyes). There are so many women out there, so why would you ever want to take someone elses woman? Sure, you can rationalize that he doesnt deserve to be with her, but thats up to her to decide. Im speaking from experience here, by the way. I went after a girl who had a boyfriend, because I figured that she would eventually dump him anyway. He treated her so badly! He would insult her right in front of his friends, and make her feel bad about herself. I was sick of seeing it, so I used the skills that I teach in my Makeout Mastery course to get her into bed I have to admit, it was fun and a little satisfying to do that, because I didnt like the way he treated her, but you know what? She stayed with him, regardless of how bad he treated her, and eventually the word got back to him. Even though I apologized to him, it left a bad burn mark on his memory for a long time, and it gave me a terrible reputation around town. So take it from me if shes got a man, just find someone else.
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This is similar to what I said earlier about the fact that shes not doing anything wrong by saying no to you. If you blame her for not wanting you, and start making her wrong for that, she is going to avoid you. Nobody wants to spend time around a person who makes them feel bad about themselves. Its often much easier to just seek out a new friend who isnt acting all weird around her. Let her know that its perfectly okay that she doesnt want to move forward, and that youre not upset or anything. Just tell her that you wanted to invite her to have a deeper relationship, thats all.
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Theres absolutely nothing wrong with the fact that you want to be with her romantically. Its flattering, and as long as you communicate it to her with class, she will consider it a compliment. If theres any part of you that views her as being above you, and that you should feel guilty for having feelings towards her, then wait until you can communicate this stuff to her unapologetically.
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David DeAngelo Ive mentioned David a couple times throughout this report. Hes one of the best dating gurus on the market today. Ive learned a lot from this guy, and I wholeheartedly recommend his products. Ross Jeffries Ross was one of the first dating gurus that I studied when I got into this whole dating education thing back in 1999. Hes got a lot of interesting ideas & techniques. His products will do wonders for your mindset when dealing with women.
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