Brendon's LJ Entries Tuesday, April 12th, 2005 a very merry unbirthday to me.

today is the day where im supposed to feel older. more mature. responsible. lega l... nope. today is meant to be a leap into the rest of my life. a new beginning... nope. every year on this day is meant to be a "happy birthday" but today is just "birt hday" mein geburtstag. i'll stop looking forward to birthdays. ----Friday, May 6th, 2005 you get me every time. why'd you have to be so cute? to those attending my school: generally i wouldnt talk to you, but im just that desperate for friends and atte ntion. i love dreams. when they come true. ----Saturday, May 14th, 2005 get up you son of a beeotch, cause [brendon] loves ya "i hope they love you like i did when you needed me..." so anxious to begin a new routine. ----Monday, May 30th, 2005 where are we; what the hell is going on? imogen heap = amazing. period. the countdown has begun to maryland. excitement. stress. anxiety. we've got the best of both worlds. dance and "other." i hope you kids are ready for it. "we continue now with our piano interlude." ----Monday, June 6th, 2005 'cause you could bend the truth, 'til it's suiting you. 8 days. i'm so ready but i'm so not. god, i wish she'd really get a move on things. the other girl should just move o n. i love. ----Monday, June 13th, 2005 "when there's nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire."

t-minus you're out of time. destination: maryland. recording for the album. please, please try to stay open minded. thank you. ----Monday, June 27th, 2005 the drummer begins to drum hanging out in the studio at the moment. started tracking drums today after a week of preproduction. the studio is in a little town called college park. the name IS the description. we've got a humble abode in beltsville (yes, like the thrice song) that we share with a few spiders and other insects. i've grown extremely fond of a little sandwich shop here called Danny's. when a restaurant has 3 locations within 2 miles of eachother, it MUST be good. the squiz is awesome. he and his girlfriend had a bbq and invited us over. when the squiz isn't in the studio, he's a master chef. i love my job/life. ----Sunday, July 3rd, 2005 i look at all the lonely people... sometimes watching others play is enough entertainment. you don't need to be goo d at halo to play, but it helps. finished tracking bass today. guitar begins. saw war of the worlds. if you're into sci-fi like i am then you'll probably like it. we've taken a lot of pictures since we've left home. ryan should be posting them soon. i hope everything is well with all of you. thank you for taking the time to read all of my lousy posts. ----Thursday, July 14th, 2005 the hotel fostini... fully loaded we've been tracking guitar, electronics, and some vocals. all is going just fine. havent had any outside time from the studio. but id rather be here for 12 hours a day than at school for half an hour. we've posted some pictures on our website. http://www.panicatthedisco.com maybe it'll give you an idea of how we utilize our time in the studio. as well a s some people that we've met. ----Thursday, July 28th, 2005 death on two legs... you're tearing me apart so we finally made it home. after a 45 hour drive cross-country, anything is eas y.

the record is finished. look for it september 27. i hope you all enjoy it. now touring begins. hope to see you there. thank you all. ----Thursday, August 4th, 2005 my equilibrium's spinning sick day. sore throat and flu at the worst possible time. show in a week. get well soon. thank you lord: for the loaded gun for the bad aim for im lonesome ----Friday, August 12th, 2005 what made you so scared? show tonight. incredibly excited. and nervous. but i couldn't have a better job or a better group of friends to work with. tour begins soon. see you all there. thank you. ----Monday, September 5th, 2005 i aint sayin she's a gold digger just got back in the homeland this morning. can't wait for the show tomorrow. the tour has been awesome so far. the bands are great and each member has been a mazing to us. thank you all for your love and support. ----Monday, September 12th, 2005 home again. its great to see family and friends for even a short time. everyone in the bands is sick. but the shows are still amazing. portland and seattle were awesome. everything there is better. the shops, the we ather, and especially the fans are incredible. i love my new friends in the receiving end of sirens, augustana, cartel, and acc eptance. ----Tuesday, October 18th, 2005 oh juliet. deny your name, your father. ryan and i are sitting in a really nice dressing room at the hard rock live in o rlando. there isn't much to do when you show up early at the venues. i walked around with our friend "merch dan" at the universa l studios shops. not too much going on there either. so now im eating pb&j and watching romeo & juliet. have fun at the show tonight, boys and girls. -----

Sunday, October 30th, 2005 but you. you were my favorite. just got home about an hour ago. last day at home for another month. the show last night in tucson went well i think. we are definitely lucky to be on this tour. thank you all. cant stop thinking about her. she's my favorite. ----Thursday, November 10th, 2005 keep your chin up child and wipe the tears from your eyes the clarion of kansas city, missouri. oh how sweet life is. less than 2 weeks left of tour. the bands have been great. parting is such sweet sorrow. less than 2 weeks closer to seeing her. ----Monday, November 28th, 2005 feels like home to me glad to be back. time to lay low for a while. congratu-fucking-lations to everyone that knows everything about me. keep it up. youre doing a great job... ----Saturday, December 17th, 2005 laying down in the cohen residence. sick, again. big surprise. thomas http://www.myspace.com/tcizzle) and i will be shooting a short film tonig ht, seeing as im leaving tomorrow (thats what best friends do). what its about, we dont know? we only know it will be great. becaus e greatness is made in the late hours of the day when your mind is scorched from fever. what im writing at the moment is an equivalent to "drunk calling." i will wake u p with no recollection that i did it with 100 replies about how lame i am. not because im drunk. no. because ive been way too sick for way too long. so i leave you with this... charlie horse. it's 'cause you tumble-dried my suit and now my shirt's tight. bden, out. ----Saturday, December 24th, 2005 'twas the night before christmas... but i didn't really notice. (christmas use to mean so much more when you were yo unger.) no snow. no santa. no wasseling upon dead leaves. what happened. i miss the excitement. setting aside milk and cookies for jolly ol' saint nick. staying up until 2am. waking up at 7am. finding dreams wrapped inside of cardboa rd and tissue paper. but we get older, whatever that means. so happy christmahanakwanzakuh, everybody. let's celebrate the birth of christ. godblessuseveryone (i really wish he would) -----

Friday, January 13th, 2006 that weren't no dj, that was hazy cosmic jive. home for 2 days. vegas to new york. new york to uk. imissaudrey. coming soon: busiest year of my life. sidekick brigade. monster family. disneyland. pirate time. carson daly. see you all soon. "let the children lose it. let the children use it. let all the children boogie." i am starman. ----Tuesday, January 31st, 2006 and there's this burning... sitting with ross in the mccarran int'l airport. a tad-bit ahead of schedule. go od thing. third eye blind. handbrake - ripping the dvds. i love/miss/need the girl. getting sick right before tour. thank you, god. thank you everyone who believes in this band just as much/more than us. our band would not exist without your support. thank you. i've never been so alive. ----Wednesday, February 15th, 2006 we have to take our clothes off. we have to party all night. sitting backstage at house of blues in myrtle beach, south carolina. fob videoshoot on the day off. lot of fun, but the throat is tired. if you havent seen i heart huckabees, you should. dropped 5k in atlantic city. gained 5k. lucky day. imissthelittlegelfling. warm up time. all is full of love. ----Monday, February 27th, 2006 green plastic watering can best western, tempe, az. day off. waiting for the cohen and the gelf to get here. eating enough cookies, pop tarts, and pizza for an entire lifetime. inlovewithagelf. gravity always wins.

p.s. if anyone's interested in talking to a random person, here you go: fmxrider4life http://www.myspace.com/tcizzle ----Sunday, March 12th, 2006 love. i get so lost sometimes. the radisson, salt lake city, utah. day off on a sunday. what to do. its snowing by the way. sushi sounds nice. listen to bjork, medulla. its not arrogance, its sarcasm and fun. dont take anything too seriously. takeiteasybabymakeitlastallnight. ----Saturday, March i wanna be your chi town. windy backstage house whoever took my thanks. 25th, 2006 crystal baller city heat. lets find out who the culprit really is. of blues. tour is ending. voice away, maybe improve it this time before you give it back.

everything is quiet, since youre not around. i live in the numbness now in the background. i miss my bed just a little bit. i miss homecooked meals a little bit. i miss home a little bit. i laugh. i dont even know why. ----Thursday, March 30th, 2006 i was afraid to be alone... ana hotel, tokyo, japan. how the hell did i get here? havent slept for 40 hours. finished the new video. masquerade strip club? definitely. largest show so far in a place ive never been, know nothing about, and a languag e i dont speak a word of. i wake up everyday but not really. definitely need a rest. i love japan. ...now im scared thats how i like to be. ----Wednesday, April 5th, 2006 my feelings are more important than yours home. in the bed. wanting to sleep so badly, but have to wait so as to get back on schedule. flying brings me down. down. down. it seems i live in cars, busses, and aeroplan es. koala yummies. marble cinnamon bread. hentai.: some of the many luxuries of japa n. ...not to mention japamela anderson.

tokyo, osaka, nagoya. i miss moto, mizuka, and machi. most fun ive had in my entire life. i think im turning japanese. goddamn. i dont care. i wont wear it. ----Friday, April ill be alone, birthday came 19. thank you all 14th, 2006 but maybe more carefree and went. for your comments.

like a kite that floats so effortlessly. ----Tuesday, May 2nd, 2006 "ernest hemingway once wrote 'the world is a fine place and worth fighting for'. .. paris, france. they hate speaking english and love making you look stupid. musee de louvre, eiffel tower, notre dame. je ne vous aime pas. ...i agree with the second part." ----Sunday, May 28th, 2006 love me. love me. say that you'll love me. headlining tour in a week. i hope you're/we're ready for it. to all of our fans who have stood by our side because they loved the music: than k you. to all of our ex-fans who hate our band and are searching for another heartthrob : thank you. stressed-out. excited. heart-broken.everythingisquietwhenyourenotaround. anyone who is interested: check out http://www.livejournal.com/community/teamjon walker. we love him to death. Tuesday, June 6th, 2006 caviar and cigarettes. tucson. first day of tour. i hope you're ready. 6.6.06. oh yes. getting sick again. surprise surprise. still heartbroken. still stressed. well-versed in etiquette. extraordinarily nice. shesakillerqueen. ----Sunday, July 23rd, 2006 i'm done giving out even more information, seeing as how you all know me and eve rything about me. just remember:

everything you ever hear and/or see is always true... ...all the time, in fact. ----Friday, December 22nd, 2006 just let me run where i want to run home. bored. i found my old scrapbook. millions of baby pictures... how did i get so ugly? i guess that's just what happens when you get older. or at least it did as i got older. i never thought having friends was this critical to survival. it almost feels worse waking up with no agenda, no comrades, and no comprehensio n of what "normal" means. it's always been the case: music never let me down. cheesy, i know. but so true. "i live in the numbness now, in the background."