Iuly 22,2001

I had a dream last night that was...great. I dreamt that I was at a camival-type fair, where I met the most exotic people. One of the women was selling'permanent earrings'made of small braided hemp strands. I thought about it for awhile, then finally decided to have it done, two holes on each side. As I was waiting in line, a man I had never met, leaned in close behind me and whispered, "Don't do it. You should be wearing sapphires or rubies, not string." His voice warn and sultry on the back of my neck sent chills involuntarily up my spine.
He was captivating. His eyes were magnificent, alive and intense. At some point he invited me back deeper into the salon. I found myself immediately engulfed in a multifaceted mysterious world. There were beautiful tapestry floor coverings and loose floor pillows scattered haphazardly.The room felt like reckless hedonistic abandon. Offjust out of the center of the room stood a floor-sized Turkish pipe. The smell of stale smoke and sex permeated the small space. Incense filled the air, giving it all an even more surealistic feel. The man escorted me in and offered me something to drink poured from omate crystal. I took it from him without hesitation. It was a red wine of sorts, but sweeter and lighter in body. It tasted wonderful, only adding to the moment. The drink had a mild hallucinogenic effect that made me feel somehow hypnotized by this man. It was a moment in time to be savored, captured forever, if only possible.

Finally, he showed himself clearly to me. It still all felt dreamlike, but good. He said, "You know who I am. . . I am Draya Braden. Do you know what I am?" I responded openly, without fear, "Yes." He was very clearly a vampire.
Once he showed himself to me, it was as if he regretted it immediately. I made no move to either scream, try to run, or even turn away. It was apparent that now that he had shown himself to me, he would obviously have to kill me. He would not be able to allow me to leave, knowing. It was an odd feeling. I was completely resigned to him and to that exact moment. There wzn no fear. I could see that he was not enjoying the inevitability. There was no sense that he was toying with me, only regret at what had happened.

"I'm sorry I brought you here. I wish that I could undo this any other way'" "I know you do. It's okay. I was drawn to you so strongly I probably would have followed you on my
own.tt

Then he took me in his arms and buried his face in my neck and hair. That could have been the end. I held him and didn't even try to resist. It was so odd. I felt this tremendous sense of compassion and unconditional love for him. It was so strong that it didn't even matter if I died, right at that very instant. He pulled away a little, but still holding ffie, looked in my eyes and I saw the conflict in him. I could r"e h" was completely forlorn. He had absolutely no idea what to do. I understood his pain and found myself desperate to ease it for him.

"It's okay. I wish things had gone differently also, but it's okay." I said as I wiped his face with my fingertips. Then I decided to tell him exactly what I was truly feeling for him. "I know it's inevitable, whit has to happen I mean, but would it be possible...I mean...would you....would you make love to me first? I mean, Iim not normally a first-date kinda girl, but...well under the circumstances..." I smiled a little out of nervousness. "I've never just out and out asked someone before." He smiled down at me and held me tighter again.

He took me back into an inner chamber area. It was a beautiful building, architecturally intricate and timeless. [t seemed now that the tents we had come in through must be somewhere out on the front lawn, but quite some distance away. He owned all of the property, which somewhat surprised me. Here he had this apparent wealth, and inside the house looked like a flop-house. The basic fumiture was there, but it was layered in years of dirt. His mattresses and bedding were filthy, like no one had cared in a very long time. He apologized again for where we were. "I don't bring people...women in the house. I'm sorry...we could go someplace else if you want to...I mean...for awhile."

"I asked to be with you. Thank you for letting me. I just want to be where you are for a can't put into words how you've changed me."

little longer. I

It was as if we were deeply in love in a matter of seconds. He held me so warmly and closely under the filthy covers, that our breathing seemed to become one. "I don't want to hurt you, but I can't promise that I'll be able to control that part of myself. I'm afraid that if we start. . .I just don't want to hurt you. I haven't cared about anyone for a very long time. I could...well, lose control." he said.
"Whatever happens, it'll be alright. I'll try to tell you if there's pain, and if it goes farther than that, well, it's a great thing to abandon yourself to the passion you feel toward someone you care so deeply about." After that, we made passionate love together. It was incredible and although I sensed that some changes did come over him throughout, he had made sure that we were in complete darkness, so I could not even be sure what they might have been.

In the morning, I saw that the sun was coming up, he did not burst into flames, but there were lightfiltering drapes on the windows. We woke up still wrapped in each others arms. He kissed me and asked, "Jordan, can you stay with me?" It was intentional that he had asked "can" and not "will" you. His meaning was two-fold. He wondered both if I had other commitments that would make it impossible for me, and could I stay with him, knowing what he was.
and tenderly into his eyes and said, "I thought you understood. I'm powerless to leave you. You've captured my soul. I can stay for as long as you'll have me..." I put my hand to my face and sneezed from the dust in the sheets. "...we need to do some cleaning around here." We both laughed and he held me closer and then we made love again.

I smiled warmly

His sister and the other woman from the carnival were at the table when we finally got up and dressed. I was surprised at the amount of sunlight they could all tolerate. They were surprised to see me alive, at all.
The woman with the sister was her lover, Kristan. She was attractive and feminine with chestnut colored hair. Alexa, Draya's sister, had bold features and eyes that were challenging at first. She was blonde.

"I know you've all met, but let's do it again. Jordan, this is Alexa and Kristan." Draya said.
Alexa began, "Well, I see you have a guest. I've never known you to..." Draya shot her a look and she stopped in mid-sentence. It was not threatening, just unmistakable in its message.
There was real food on the buffet which again,I had not expected. I didn't think they could eat, it surprised me and he must have caught my confusion, because he leaned in close, kissed me on the back

of the neck and served us both plates, smiling. There were decanters on the buffet also. A clear glass carafe of orange juice, a beautiful coffee and hot water carafe for te4 and an intricate silver decanter of thick red wine. He asked if I'd rather have coffee or tea. I said, "whatever you're having will be fine." He looked a little uncomfortable and shook his head, putting his hand on the wine decanter. I understood at once. His sister said somewhat mockingly, "Yes, why don't you just give her whatever you're having, Draya."

I smiled to both of them

and said, "on second thought,

I could go for

a cup

of tea, thanks."

The girlfriend said, "good decision. It gets kind of chilly in the momings here." I was grateful for her helping to ease the tension between Draya and Alexa. It was clear, they were very much alike. I did not look forward to ever seeing a confrontation between them.

I could clearly see now that the building was an old hotel. Through the dining room windows, I could tell that there were what would have been stunning panoramic views all around the house had they not been allowed to become so badly overgrown. Beyond fore yards, I could see the bluffs and imagined myself looking out over the crashing waves of the Atlantic with Draya.

"I'll show you around the place after breakfast, if you'd like." He held my chair out while I sat down
beside him. Then turning to the other two women said, "We'll be calling in some maintenance crews over the next few weeks. It's up to you whether you two want to be around for that or not. I'll be sure they don't invade your personal quarters, but you should consider at least letting them in to do some cleaning and painting."

The two women stared at him in disbelief. "Oh, by the way, yes, she's mortal. She knows about everything, and don't feed on my work crews, this time. It draws too much attention. This is where we live. Go out to hunt, if you must." His voice had taken on a note of playfulness at first, gradually becoming a little more authoritative. It was clear that he cared deeply for these two women, but that he would not tolerate disobedience regarding these matters.
We ate breakfast and exchanged pleasantries. After I finished my tea, and he had finished his breakfast and wine, we excused ourselves. "We'll be leaving shortly. We're going shopping. If you'd like us to pick up anything, you can leave a list at the front desk. Then he took my hand an led me back upstairs to his room. Both women just stared at him completely stunned. Alexa finally managed to mumble,

"thanks."

"I'm sure you can tell, I haven't been shopping in a very long time, but I can't ask you to live here like this. I want you to have better," he smiled.

"I didn't expect to be living here at all, remember? I don't want you to feel like I'm trying to change you. I...I don't know how to be with you, without being myself first. I don't know what you saw in me last night, but I know what I saw in you.. .I just want to be with you."
"When I first saw you at the camival, I was immediately taken by your lightness. I followed you for hours. I watched you with those children. I saw your body's aura among all others there. You drew me into you. When I gave you that drink to bring you here, I knew the dangers. But I had to be alone with you. I need you and I see in you that you need me. I feel it...it feels strong between us. Always be yourself. Never worry that you aren't what I thought you were. I want to know you completely as I

want you to know me." He hadn't taken his eyes offof me for a moment as he spoke directly into my soul. "As for the shopping, that is simply a matter of necessity. You don't even have clothing here. We'll need to do some work around here, just for your physical well-being. You are mortal. You cannot possibly live under these conditions." "Do you know how I feel about you?" I asked. "I mean, you mentioned my body's aura" Can you really see me that clearly?" "Yes, I can. It's like a sort of second-sight for us. Some of us work on abilities, some of us stay locked into a lower-level, feeding freruy. The power is heady and enticing. But I was brought into this...well, differently. I want to tell you everything. I want you to know all that I know and I want to know you. But don't misunderstand me. Although I have abilities that may help me see how you feel, it is being with you that makes me know how you feel. Because I feel it, too. I didn't even know that I could love until I met you." Then, we were wrapped in each others arms again. I put my head on his chest and felt the strength and power of his nature. He engulfed me, rutzzlingmy neck, kissing me. It seemed we were both feeding some empty part of ourselves. The sense of warmth and tendemess was seductive, all encompassing. I wanted to stay there forever.

His room, was actually a suite of rooms. There was a beautiful bathroom with an over-sized tub and a separate shower. The commode and another personal sink were set offfrom the bathing area by yet another door. The only dust free areas were the shower and the sink. In addition to the bathroom, he had the bed chamber, a separate parlor area, and a personal library. The walls were filled with hundreds of leather bound books, some classics, but many on occult topics. His desk had been used recently but most of the surroundings appeared to be in different states of disrepair and apparent abandon. "Your library is amazing." I told him as I looked around. "This is my private collection. There is a larger formal library offthe great room, downstairs. Many of these works in here are in Latin. If there are any you're interested in, let me know. I'll gladly translate them for you." "Isn't this the part where you tell me I can go into any area of the house, provided I never go into your private, locked secret room?" I giggled as I said it, but I was somewhat serious. I truly wondered where the limits were. I did not want to intrude on his privacy. Especially so quickly into our relationship. We had become "us" so very quickly that I felt unsure of how to proceed. "You have also captured my soul. What could I possibly withhold from you now? There are many things for us to learn about each other and unfortunately we only have your lifetime to do it in. I know for you it seems like a long time. To me, it seems far too short. I don't want you to feel pressured by my sense of urgency about us, its just that a mortals lifetime is finite." His features had darkened and I could tell he was remembering something very painfrrl.

"How old are you, Draya?" I asked. I wasn't aware of how I hoped he'd answer. I just felt a strange tension that I didn't fully understand. He reached out and took my hand. For a moment he seemed as if he was looking right through me. Finally he spoke. "Jordan,I'll have moments where it seems that I'm being aloof or that I'm trying to keep secrets from you. I don't want to, but as a mortal, there are things that will stretch your ideas and concepts. Honestly this should be done in small doses. Your awareness needs to be given time to incorporate all these sudden changes. I was looking at your etheric body just now, and I see that you are near the brink of exhaustion. Why didn't you tell me?"

I didn't realize it myself. I'm sorry, I just feel kinda out of sorts today. I don't even know why." Suddenly I felt darkness starting to wash over me. Draya's reflexes were quick enough to cover the

"I

guess

distance between us before I actually fell, and so I landed safely in his arms. He carried me back to the bed that we had shared so recently and laid me down tenderly. He kissed my forehead and lips, then he simply touched my eyelids. I felt a strange rush in my head and then fell into complete unconsciousness.

I dreamt many odd dreams of people in and out of the room. I dreamt of dirry linen and blood-red wine. I dreamt of monsters and felt myself silently scream. And then I dreamt that Draya was there holding me in his arms, loving me, protecting me. When I finally awoke, he was still there beside me, just as I
had dreamt.

His eyes were closed only a moment longer than mine. As soon as I started to fully notice where I was, he was wide awake and loving ms. "How do you feel?" he asked, his voice filled with concem. "It's odd. I feel like I've been on a very long trip, but you were still there with me."
There was a soft knock on the door and Alexa stepped in carrying atray. There was breakfast for both ofus ofpoached eggs on biscuits, broccoli spears and hollandaise spooned over the top, hot tea and a goblet of red wine for Draya. I tried to sit up too quickly but a strange dizziness came over me. Alexa sat the tray down on the table next to the bed and helped me sit up. "Draya said you'd probably be up this morning, so I thought I'd better bring you up something to eat. Are you feeling any better?" her concern seemed kind and genuine. It was very clear how she felt for her brother and I looked forward to us being friends.

"Thank you so much, Alexa. I can't believe I slept straight through the night. I'm sorry Draya."
"Honey, you not only slept through the night, you slept through a few of them." She said, smiling. "You've been asleep for three days." Draya took my hand in his and kissed my fingers. "Jordan, it's not you who should apologize. I put you through so much in so short a time. I knew when I looked at you on Monday that you had had way too much. Once you fainted I put you in bed, do you remember?" "Yes, now I do. By the way, thanks for catching me." I smiled.

"Do you remember me touching your eyes? Did you notice anything... strange?" he asked. "Yeah, that's right. There was some sort of buzzing in my head."
"Honey, that was Draya. He zapped you a little too hard, huh stud?" Alexa said smiling. "What do you mean?" I asked.

"I have an ability to...well, I can render people unconscious. I knew that you could not go on as stressed as I let you get. Your body is different than ours. Your nervous system functions differently. I helped you sleep so that your body could recover. . . so that you could have a chance to process all of this." He waved his hand gesturing between he andAlexa. "Please don't be angry with me." He looked genuinely worried about how I would feel. "Draya. How could I be angry at you for caring about me on so many levels?" For the first time I really looked around. The room was spotless! There wasn't a cobweb or hint of dust anywhere. A low fire bumed in the fireplace and even the bedding had been changed. I realized I was wearing the softest natural cotton pajamas I'd ever felt and even my body felt clean.
Beside the tray on the table was an enonnous bouquet of fresh flowers and the drapes had been pulled back to show a fabulous sunny fall day. "How did you do all this?" I asked completely stunned.

Alexa said, "He must be crary about you. He's been cracking the whip around here for three straight days. We've had gardeners, ca{penters, chimney sweeps, laundry and cleaning services, painters, carpet, floor and upholstery cleaners...boy you name it and they've been here. I'm just really grateful for subcontraciors! I'm gonna leave you two alone...I mean you've only known each other five days, and three of them you've been asleep!"

"Alexa." I said quietly. "Yes?" she turned around and asked.

"Thank you...for everything. "

"No honey.Thankyou." She smiled and closed the door behind her"Okay, which subcontractor bathed and dressed me? And where'd the clothes come from?" I asked Draya.

"The clothes were easy. I just asked Alex and Kristan to pick up some basics for you. I asked them not to buy you things that weie itchy or binding..just comfortable. I knew I knocked you out pretfy hard- I ngrr"a if yo, *ok" in some miserable pink nylon thing, and grubby to boot...well, I figured you'd kill me." For a moment there was an uncomfortable silence. Only four days earlier, he had planned to kill me, and we both remembered in unison. "Okay, so who gave me a bath and washed my hair?" I playfully nudged him, silently hoping that it wasn't either a pet groomer offered extra to take care of the .*"orr"ior5 ho.rr" guest, or possibly even worse...Alexa. "Do you even need to ask, Jordan? We're partners. I'm not go*u let anyone hurt you and I'm damned well not going to embarrass you. While the work was done in ttris bedroom, you and I moved upstairs. Once our room was ready for us to move back into, I realized that we were not going to be able to get into our clean sheets as dirty as we both I were. I made us a bath and we took it together. I washed your hair because...because I love you and wanted to make you feel better when you woke up."

I dreamt "Draya...thank you. The room is beautiful and I do feel better. I had dreams....strange dream. of warm water and of you." It was all so of monsters and blood and people in the room and I dreamt cluttered in my mind.

If you don't go "The sleep you were in is a type that goes in waves from very deep to semi-conscious. all- That's the deep enoug-h to get to the dream state of REM, your body doesn't actually rejuvenate at sleep is also not the best for reason I put you under so deeply. On the other hand, staying in REM level you. so you. Uoay will fluctuate to near consciousness. The people you dreamt of coming in and out, monsters *.r. probubly voices of theworkmen in the halls and outside on the grounds. But Jordan, thelot for you was a you there and the blood...well you know that's us right? Alexa, Kristan and me? I told me, I hope, but subconsciously'..well,we are to process right now. Consciously you may love For me, it's monsters. The blood thing...it's t*". Yo,, knew it at breakfast our first morning together. he was rarely human...but it is bi6od." Draya had moved to face me. The whole time he was speaking, was, must surely repulse me' reading me, looking for signs of inevitable disgust. His life, such as it Even if I loved him, surely this was too much. I looked deeply into his eyes, loving him especially
vulnerability with me, and lked asked simply, "Do you think you could *uit for u iittl. while for breakfast?" "Sure, why?" Draya wondering if I had lost my appetite.
as he shared his

I knelt on the bed in front of him and pulled offthe soft cotton shirt then I reached out and took his hand in mine. I slowly kissed his fingertips and placed his hands on my bared skin. I was overwhelmed by my desire to be with him when I felt the urgency of his need. I knew we were truly one. One in mind; one in flesh; one in desire. He reached his free hand around my waist to the small of my back and laid me down. It was a gentle but barely restrained act. I could feel his desire for me buitding. He kissed me deeply, first lips then my throat and neck. When he kissed my lips again,I recognized the change. I tried to open my eyes to see his face but he instantly turned away. It was daylight so I would clearly be able to see his features. He wasn't ready for that. "Please don't." he whispered. His lips brushing my ear as he spoke. "Please Jordan...not yet." I held him tightly and kissed his neck and shoulder as I ran my hand through his thick dark hair. "It's okay, Draya. We have nothing but time. I can wait until you're ready." In the instant that he had turned a\\tay, his features had shifted back. He pulled me closer but did not pursue our encounter. I completely understood his fear and wiggled out of the bed. Hemust have thought I was angry, but realized immediately as he watched me pad across the cold stone floor. I drew the drapes closed over the large windows. They were thickly lined allowing no out outside light into the room. Now we were alone in complete darkness except for the remaining embers of the fire. I once again stood before the bed. This time I slid the cotton pajama pants offand climbed back in beside him.
see it and knew that he was immensely relieved. "Thank you." he said in a strained and raspy voice. "'What're you talking about, I just didn't want you to look at my big ass." I joked. We both laughed and he held me tightly until our passions rose again. This time when I felt him change I reached up tentatively with my fingertips. I lightly touched his mouth and teeth as he kissed my fingers. He wanted to turn away but he also knew that we would have to completely know each other eventually. He would know me inside and out, I would know him. His fear of my rejection was unfounded. He knew that and yet it loomed fathomless in his mind. He started to shift back as his fear overtook his passion again. "Draya. Keep your focus on my body. . . on our bodies. Just relax and let me know you." I whispered gently. "I know what you're afraid of, but I'm here with you...loving you. Not in spite of who you are, but because of who you are." I kept my voice so low that he had to turn into the sounds. I wanted him to feel my arousal at being with him.

I could sense his smile more than

Under the coverlet I shifted positions so that I could feel him more fully against me. I slid one hand down the length of his body landing just below his hip. I let my hand fall slightly forward coming within inches of touching him more intimately than I had so far. I heard him growl, low like a male lion. The sound was dangerous and erotic. He shape-shifted again and this time my passion took over as well. I wanted to touch his features, to know everything that had shifted in him but he had me pinned to the bed. In the instant that I had heard the sound he had reached out and grabbed both of my wrists. He held them now tightly to the bed with one hand. It was the strongest hand I had ever known and I had a very distant fear he may actually break my wrist, but when I stopped pulling, he let up somewhat. I knew there would never be a way to resist that grasp, just as surely as I knew I would never want to.

With his free hand he guided me into position under him. He was in complete control of my body, and I absently wondered if he was in control of his. He made the low menacing growl again as he deeply moved into me. The pleasure was unimaginable. I wanted to be there, controlled by him, driven by him, forever. When we had reached a final fever pitch he let go of my wrists and slid both arms under me. With one hand he pulled my hips into him even further, with the other he cradled my back and shoulders. He shape-shifted back as his passion subsided. The last I felt of his strange animalistic alterego wurs the light gtazing of teeth on breast as he buried his face in my chest.
"Jordan...are you okay?" he rasped, barely able to speak.

"I am magnificent darlin'and

so

you." I gently stroked his hair, smiling in the darkened room. "I just meant...I mean I didn't hurt you...or scare you or anything...did I ?" "Draya,you do scare me a little sometimes. But not in 4 'let me run for cover' kinda way. I'm more afraid of how sffongly I feel about you already. Is it always like this between you and your...well, lovers? And what happens to them when you get through with them?'
are

"I

eat them." He replied drowsily.

It would be several days before he would even realize

he'd said

it out loud.

The days were filled with learning about this man who was now my future, and our home. The nights filled with passionate lovemaking, joy and laughter. I slept like an infant cradled in Draya's arms, night after night. We still had tense moments when our differences were made all too clear. Even normal phrases I had always taken for granted like, "oh my God" or "for Christ's sake" suddenly felt different, as if they caused literal pain to Draya. I wondered about my own spiritual faith. I thankfully didn't believe in hell, and now I found myself often praying that I was right. The days were getting shorter and I could tell that Draya,Alex and Kristan were all relieved. Although they were amazingly able to tolerate the sunlight, it was certainly a drain on them all. They were each nearly unstoppable at night. Draya consciously worked at keeping our nights together a little shorter than the girls. We were both fully aware of how much of a toll being with him took on me physically. He would often check my etheric body and pretend to be tired himself so as not to make me feel that I had let him down. If I resisted and my etheric body was truly dangerously low, he would playfully threaten to put me to sleep again. This could have seemed like he was controlling me, but it was said and done with such remarkable compassion that it was obvious he was simply concerned for the woman that he deeply loved.

It was one of the cold clear nights that our relationship was shaken nearly to the core. I had had the absolute most intense response to our lovemaking, of my life. While I was still shaking with desire, Draya had stood up and held me, carrying my weight in his hands and on his hips, entering me deeply and so passionately that I had started to cry out. His strength was just as I had heard, quite literally super-human. The way he could physically move me was unimaginable. I could still sense that there was fear in him that he may somehow hurt me. I was fragile compared to what he was capable of, but we were managing to transfer all of that energy into fabulous sexual adventures. At least, so far.
just drifted offin my favorite position, with my head on his chest and his arm around my shoulders when the sound of a faraway knocking pulled me to wakefulness. Draya was up before I could even open my eyes. Something was wrong. Alexa stood there at our door, ashen white except there was something out of place. Draya covered the distance between her and the door in an instant trying desperately to hide her from me. I suddenly knew what I had seen. Alexa was drenched in blotd! Her soft white night gown was covered with a sick patch that in the hallway with the lights behind her looked like the Hershey's syrup they used to use in the old black and white movies. Her gown was not the worst of it though. The thick liquid was all over her face and even in her hair. As she had spoken her teeth looked as ifseveral had broken or been knocked out because ofthe liquid that even now spilled from her mouth.

had

For a moment, I thought I was going to throw up. I knew that even as hideous as this display was, Draya would not be able to help but be hurt if he should hear me retching. I tried everything to make myself believe that the gruesome scene was not real.

Alex was sobbing now and pleading with Draya. "Please Draya...Please help her...I didn't mean it...I swear I didn't. Please...I tried to stop...I wanted to. It was an accident. I swear I didn't mean to hurt her Draya. She's dead. Please help her." Alex had slowly started to fade offas shock was setting in now. "How long ago, Alex?" Draya asked. Alex was unable to speak for
a moment,

"I..."

"How long has she been under, Alex?" Drayademanded, grabbing her by the shoulders and roughly shaking her. "about five minutes...I guess....it just happened." She murmured.

"Were you fighting with her?" Draya asked as he grabbed for his jeans. Up until now he had been naked, but somehow he had seemed like an animal. I wondered if he had shape-shifted in his sudden awakening. 'We weren't fighting, Draya. I swear we weren't. I love her. . . I . .I just lost control." Alexa was sobbingagain now, her grief was so complete it left her unable to even speak. "Go to her. I'll be right there." his command was so clear that even in her shock Alexa complied. For the first time Draya tumed back to face me. I absently wondered if he had asked about them fighting to give himself time to shape-shift back again. He was instantly by the bed, kneeling beside me. "Please, please Jordan. I'm begging you. Don't come up there. Of all that you've seen and all that you've imagined....this will be worse. I have to see if it's too late to bring Kristan up. Please, baby. Please don't follow me. I'll be back as soon as I can."

I hadn't said anything yet. I wasn't sure what he meant. Finally I just asked, "Draya, isn't Kristan
vampire, too?"

"Yes, but during sex...well...I tried to tell you that there's always a chance that it can go...wrong. Alex....Alex lost her head and took too much. Do you understand now why I'm afraid sometimes when I'm with you?" Suddenly he was angry, not at me, but at the whole pathetic situation. He reached out and grabbed me by the arms shaking my violently. "Don't you fucking get it? We are monsters! You know what Jordan? I've had enough of this little game we're playing. Pack your things and get out. Go ahead and call the driver to take you back to wherever the hell you want to go tonight, but hear me when I tell you this. If you are not gone by the time I get back, I'm going to finish this tonight myself. This game's gotta end." He let go of my arms and pushed me roughly onto the bed. I waited until he was out of the room before I let even a single tear fall, then I wept for the pain that we were both in. He was right. It was a pathetic little game. At some point I would have to make a choice.

It was two hours before he came back to our room. He looked drawn and defeated. I noticed that there was a small slice on the inside of his wrist that was still bleeding. I imagined that to bring Kristan back he had probably had to feed her of himself. I had assumed as much and so I had already gone down and poured a small decanter from the "wine" cellar. It sat now with a goblet by the bed. I put my book down and said, "You look like hell." "Why are you still here? I told you to get out..." the last words trailed offas he collapsed on the floor.
"Draya!" I jumped to my me feet and dragged him on to the bed. I got him undressed and covered him with the thick blankets. His body was icy cold. I knew that he had risked his own life to save Kristan. There was no way that he would be able to feed himself, and if he did not feed, there was no doubt but that he would die.

I gingerly picked up the goblet from the table and poured the sickly thick contents from the decanter. The smell made me feel like I was going to be sick. I had never been so aware of the revulsion I felt for their feeding. It was a necessary part of their lives that I had been spared from up until now. But as Draya lay there, his own life force so faint, I made a conscious decision. "Whatever it takes." I said
aloud.

I lifted his head and tipped the partially filled goblet to his lips. Some of the slippery thick substance, "blood." I made myself say aloud, spilled down his cheek. I wiped it offwith the cloth I had covered the decanter with when I brought it up from the cellar. "Great. I'm in love with aman who drinks blood

to stay alive. I get queasy thinking of my own used tampons." I tried to laugh a little to chase away my fear that he really might die. Again and again I lifted the goblet to his lips, refilling it several times throughout the night. I even silently prayed that God would help me save him, wondering if it be sacrilegious to even ask.
Just after dawn I took a break and went to check on Alexa and Kristan. I took them a tray and two goblets, just as she had done for me. I knocked softly on their bedroom door fearful of what I might see. It was even worse than I could have imagined. Alexa probably assuming that it was Draya, called me in without getting up. The room was a complete blood bath. Kristan was laying with her head on Alexa's chest, Alexa's arm wrapped protectively around her.

"Oh damn, Jordan. If I'd had any idea it was you...well, I never would have asked you in. I'm sorry." Alexa whispered, trying not to wake Kristan. "It's okay, Alex. How is she? For that matteq you look like you've had a pretty rough night...how are you?"

"Filthy, sticky...weak and so completely ashamed. I just can't believe I let this happen between us. I really love her, Jordan. This is Dray's biggest fear for you, you know?"
'Yeah, I know. Alex, let me help you with this mess. You can't do it all and feed yourself. I brought you up a tray. I thought you probably wouldn't want to leave her. If we move her to the sof4 we can change the bedding. Then I'll help you get her cleaned up and it will at least make you feel better. Maybe it will even help you rest, okay?"

"Kiddo, are you sure you're up to all that? I mean...its areal mess in here." Alex was offering me a way out. She knew that Draya had kept me completely sheltered from this part of their lives. "I'm fine, Alex. I'm just worried about you three right now." "Three? I hadn't even thought to ask. Is Draya...is he okay?" Alex was near panicked when she realized how ill her brother probably was.

"I think he'll be fine. About like Kristan, weak and tired. I've been helping him feed most of the night. When we're finished here, I'll go back to him. Don't worry Alex. I love him, too." Alex reached out as if to hug me and noticed that I stepped back involuntarily. "After your shower, okay?" we both laughed a little at the tension breaker. She helped me move Kristan to the sofa, then I sent her offto the shower with a goblet filled to the brim.
"Jordan, one more thing, okay? Watch Kristan and Draya both very carefully. The need to feed can take over all of their senses. You may well be in danger as they start to come around. If Kristan wakes up, call me...quickly!" "Thanks, Alex.

I'll watch myself."

Alex washed and shampooed blood from her body for what seemed a long time. What I didn't know, but could imagine was that it took that long for the water to run clear. I changed the linens and grabbed clean blankets from the chest at the end of the bed. The pillows had to go. They were completely saturated with thick coagulating blood from the night before. I found t\ilo extras in the closet on the shelf. I also set out a clean set of pajamas for each of the women and lastly started their fireplace. It blazed to life instantly. I lowered the jets after the wood had caught, knowing that it would be enough

to take the chill offthe room.

I heard Kristin stir from the sofa and seeing the glazed, almost dangerous look in her eyes, I was somewhat relieved to think of how weak she was. "Oh no, you don't young lady." I said handing her a goblet, half-filled, just as Alex stepped out of the bathroom, wrapped in a towel. After Kristan had drank her fill, Alex and I led her to the bathroom. I helped her take offher clothes while Alex stepped back into the shower, dropping the towel on the floor. She bathed and shampooed the blood from Kristan and I got them each clean towels.
When they finally stepped out of the shower together, I helped dry Kristan and get her dressed and into bed. Alex dressed herself and finally squeaky-clean offered that hug again. This time I willingly accepted. "Rest easy, you two." I called after gathering all the bloody linens and pillows. I took them all down to the basement and loaded them into the incinerator. The sun was up higher in the sky now. I thought it had to have been a couple of hours since I had checked on Draya. I climbed the stairs becoming more aware of my own exhaustion with each step. Draya was awake when I walked into our room. I had decided whatever hurtful thing he had to say to me, leaving was going to have to wait until all four of us had had some much needed sleep.

"I thought you left when I told you to get out." Draya stated. "I thought I could get you out before you got hurt...before I hurt you, Jordan." "I know that's what you thought Draya, but it's too late. You already have hurt me. Not the way that you mean, but by not trusting me to be strong when you and your family needs me to be. I was just checking on Alex and Kristan. They're fine, by the way"' "I know. I was there right after you left. Jordan, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I swear it's just that I'm so damned afraid of what happened to Kristan, happening to you. It's so hard to fight sometimes,I mean the sexual hunger is intense...it would destroy me if I hurt you like that."
"Draya,I could get hit by a bus tomorrow. We have to work with what we've got...with what we both are." I started to climb into bed and Draya caught my arm lightly. "uh...Jordan?" he said, gesturing toward my pajamas. For the first time I realized that in cleaning up the linens I had gotten several large spots on my clothes. I pulled the bottoms down and stepped out of them as Draya helped me pull off the top, then I climbed into bed,completely unconcerned with the large dried spot on my arm. Draya looked at me like he was shocked I wasn't in the shower already.

"Hell, it's only blood. Get over it, will ya?" He climbed into bed beside me like a confused schoolboy. I rolled over against him and slid under his arm. "We'll be fine, Draya. After all, we're partners... and partners do, whatever it takes."