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LancMoms.com / August 11, 2012 /
In this issue:
MOM OF THE MONTH Sibling Competition: Not of the Olympic Sort A BASKET CASE over housework
An advertising supplement of the Intelligencer Journal/Lancaster New Era Sponsored By:
2 • AUGUST 11, 2012
VISIT LANCMOMS.COM
Lancaster, Pa
Barbara Hough Roda
A basket case over housework
Editor’s note: This column, which originally ran in 2005, is published again today because the columnist is on vacation from both her day job and, quite happily,
LancMoms.com / August 11, 2012 /
In this issue:
MOM OF THE MONTH Sibling Competition: Not of the Olympic Sort A BASKET CASE over housework
An advertising supplement of the Intelligencer Journal/Lancaster New Era Sponsored By:
2 • AUGUST 11, 2012
VISIT LANCMOMS.COM
Lancaster, Pa
Barbara Hough Roda
A basket case over housework
Editor’s note: This column, which originally ran in 2005, is published again today because the columnist is on vacation from both her day job and, quite happily,
Авторское право:
Attribution Non-Commercial (BY-NC)
Доступные форматы
Скачайте в формате PDF, TXT или читайте онлайн в Scribd
LancMoms.com / August 11, 2012 /
In this issue:
MOM OF THE MONTH Sibling Competition: Not of the Olympic Sort A BASKET CASE over housework
An advertising supplement of the Intelligencer Journal/Lancaster New Era Sponsored By:
2 • AUGUST 11, 2012
VISIT LANCMOMS.COM
Lancaster, Pa
Barbara Hough Roda
A basket case over housework
Editor’s note: This column, which originally ran in 2005, is published again today because the columnist is on vacation from both her day job and, quite happily,
Авторское право:
Attribution Non-Commercial (BY-NC)
Доступные форматы
Скачайте в формате PDF, TXT или читайте онлайн в Scribd
Sponsored By: In this issue: MOM OF THE MONTH Sibling Competition: Not of the Olympic Sort A BASKET CASE over housework LancMoms.com // // // August 11, 2012 2 AUGUST11,2012 VISITLANCMOMS.COM Lancaster, Pa A basket case over housework Editors note: This column, which originally ran in 2005, is published again today because the columnist is on vacation from both her day job and, quite happily, housework. In the past seven years, her views on cleaning remain unchanged, unlike the bed sheets and the bath towels. I was enjoying dessert with a dear friend on a recent Sunday evening when she stood up and discreetly disclosed that she was heading home to fold a load of laundry. Then came the confession: It had been sitting in her dryer since, she said in a whisper, Thursday. I gasped not out of shock but because of the sudden wave of excited relief that washed over me. You see, I, too, had been hiding clean laundry in the Maytag since ... Wednesday. Ahh, for the comfort found in shared experience. Ill blame my dirty domestic secret on time. I simply didnt have enough of it at weeks end. But there was another reason: The wash included ftted sheets and I simply wasnt up to the struggle that I knew would ensue. With the exception of Martha Stewart, family-and-consumer- science teachers and my mom, does anybody really know how to fold ftted sheets? Once Ive retrieved the socks and fabric softener sheet that are stuck in the elasticized corners, I typically lose myself literally in a mess of contoured cotton as I try to line up those dastardly rounded edges. It must be easier to split an atom. No matter how much I work at it, my folded and ftted sheets resemble neither when Im done. Theyre puffy. Bumpy. Like they were never even washed. So I stuff them into the back of the linen closet, behind the nicely folded fat sheets. And shut the door. Tightly. Which brings me to the wider issue of domesticity. Why am I so defcient? I love to cook and bake and garden and entertain. But as for the cleaning and the laundry, well, lets just say Ive got some wrinkles to iron out. Dont get me wrong. I clean. But not with the same kind of cheerfulness that Snow White displayed when she tidied up the Dwarfs digs deep in, what Im sure was, a dirt-and-dust- infested forest. I want to heigh-ho, heigh-ho and whistle a happy tune when I brandish a vacuum and dust cloth. Like my sister-in-law. You should see the joy on her face when shes on her hands and knees, wiping and scrubbing. She is so satisfed that she sparkles, just like her foors. Housework is probably the longest four-letter word I know. And when spring-cleaning season rolls around does anybody still do that? its not just the routine, but the pressure to clean the rugs, wash the windows, wipe down the woodwork, move the furniture, clean out closets, and so on. Then there are the ongoing battles against paper piles breeding on countertops ... the crumbs that collect in the corners of the kitchen foor ... the bathroom mirrors that seem to resurface with toothpaste speckles almost as soon as the Windex is carried beyond the doorway. When I was a kid, Saturday mornings were set aside for weekly cleaning chores. The bathroom. The bedrooms. The laundry. The inspiration? No play time until the work got done. Now, I must confess, because of schedules, the cleaning tends to get done on a when-I- can-get-to-it basis. While Im running the bath water, or fxing dinner, or between daughters dance class and a nighttime meeting. Oh, gotta go. The buzzer just went off on the dryer. No contour sheets, just a simple load of underwear and socks. But, as pairs of the latter go, you know what that means ... Barbara Hough Roda is mom to Faith and managing editor of the Sunday News. Contact her at 481-7335 or broda@LNPnews.com. Lori Sensenig and her 3-year-old son, Caden, of Reinholds, enjoy the festivities at Terre Hill Days held recently at Community Memorial Park. Jeff Ruppenthal/ Sunday News Photo COVER PHOTO: Jo Jo Eshleman, 5, is loaded up with fowers at her home in Quarryville. Neighbors recently used fowers, shrubs, pavers and lots of love to transform her familys yard into a retreat where Jo Jos mom, Katie, can relax and recover from a bilateral mastectomy and ensuing chemotherapy and radiation. Jeff Ruppenthal/ Sunday News Photo Barbara Hough Roda Check out what other Lancaster Moms (and Dads) are doing and saying. Forums, blogs, questions, and answers can be found at LancMoms.com. Get a LancMoms.com card good for discounts and services. Visit Lancaster, Pa VISITLANCMOMS.COM AUGUST11,20123 By Maureen Leader Special Features Writer You might say that Mom of the Month, Amanda Nesbitt has spent most of her life in training. Nesbitt is a member of the Pennsylvania Army National Guard and started basic training in high school. After graduation she moved on to advanced individual training and became a radio operator. Nesbitt was deployed to Afghanistan at the age of 19 and afterwards decided to begin training as a helicopter pilot. Right now she fies a CH-47 Chinook helicopter and trains about once a month fying out of Fort Indian Town Gap. Nesbitt also volunteers her time at the Training Loft in Mountville, helping girls in sports training. And she volunteers to help train girls for Girls on the Run an educational and motivational running-based program for girls. Nesbitt, herself, is an accomplished cross country runner and often trains for marathons and other competitive runs. But probably the most important training Nesbitt has ever received is the training she went through before becoming a mother. Nesbitt and her husband, Drew, are parents of a four-month-old son, Dathan. But before he was born, the Nesbitts had the opportunity to get training as parents. Not many moms get mommy training before actually becoming a mother themselves. We may babysit, or have our nieces and nephews stay for a weekend. But Nesbitt and her husband actually did get parent training when Nesbitts sister, Alicia was deployed to Afghanistan for a year. During that time the Nesbitts not yet parents themselves took in Alicias six-year-old daughter, Makenzie. Caring for Makenzie was not just a glorifed babysitting job. The Nesbitts were going to actually parent her, just as if she was their own daughter. And this was a big year for Makenzie. She was six years old, fnishing up kindergarten, getting ready for frst grade and learning to read. And she had to go through all these transitions while her mommy was away fghting in Afghanistan. There was a lot to consider and the Nesbitts understood this. But even though Nesbitt wasnt yet a mother, she instinctively knew what to do. She and Drew already had a relationship with Makenzie, but it was as fun Aunt Mandi and Uncle Drew. This sort of relationship, though wonderful for weekend visits, would not work for an entire year. There would be bedtimes to stick to, homework to do, baths to take and chores to complete. We couldnt just sugar her up and send her home like we were used to doing, Nesbitt explained. So the couple sat down with the little girl and had a talk with her to explain how everyones roles were going to be different for a year while she lived with them. Makenzie is very mature and a very resilient kid, but we had the talk anyway, recalled Nesbitt. The couple explained how things would go right back the way they were as fun Aunt Mandi and Uncle Drew as soon as Makenzies mother returned home. Nesbitt added that she is especially thankful to Drew, who she said was completely on board, with everything. If there was a husband of the month award, he should get that! Turns out it was a wonderful year for all. It was a crash course in parenting, said Nesbitt. And this proved to be quite helpful because during that year Nesbitt became pregnant with her son, Dathan. Again, Nesbitts mothering instincts kicked in as she thoroughly included Makenzie in the new babys arrival. Makenzie helped with all the planning and shopping and even helped decorate the nursery for her new cousin. She also had the privilege of knowing the babys name before anyone else. It was neat to share all that with her, remembers Nesbitt. And it turns out that the day Dathan was born, Makenzies mother, Nesbitts sister, Alicia, came home safely from Afghanistan. Thats God planning, said Nesbitt. Mom of the Month ~ Amanda Nesbitt Amanda Nesbitt and son Dathan - continued on page 7 400 College Ave Lancaster 717-291-3941 www.northmuseum.org CURIOUS STUFF: Discovering the Collections of the North Museum Featuring a two-headed calf, mummy heads, and more of the 300,000 weird, wild, and wonderful artifacts in our collections. Coming in September: Free planetarium shows!* Every show, every weekendin celebration of Museum Month in Lancaster County. www.lancastercountymuseums.org * With paid Museum admission GET CURIOUS! 400 College Avenue, Lancaster 291.3941 www.northmuseum.org 4 AUGUST11,2012 VISITLANCMOMS.COM Lancaster, Pa By Rochelle A. Shenk Special Features Writer The Dog Days of August may bring on hot, muggy conditions, but there are fun, family-friendly ways to beat the heat. Relaxing in a pool, enjoying water rides at amusement parks or taking in one of the many summer blockbuster movies in a local theater are some ways to beat the heat. A visit to Indian Echo Caverns and Estate in Hummelstown could be included on that list. In the summer, the cavern is a great way to beat the heat the temperature is a constant 52 degrees year-round, says Karen Nye, Indian Echo public relations manager. The mouth of the limestone caverns sits along the Swatara Creek. This underground world boasts two crystal clear lakes, passageways and rooms that display natures geologic wonders. The frst visitors to the caverns are believed to have been the Susquehannock Indians, who would have used the caverns as shelter from inclement weather. The caverns were frst opened to the public in 1929 after John Bieber completed a project to make the pathways safe for travel and opened many of the rooms that had been closed off due to large mineral deposits. While the caverns attracted numerous visitors in the frst years of operation, the Depression took its toll and visitors dwindled. Unfortunately Bieber lost ownership to the bank. In 1942 Edward Schwartz purchased the caverns, and today it remains under family ownership. The crystal lakes and the wedding chapel are two of the areas that get the most oohs and aahs from people. Its amazing for people of all ages to see the amazing, clear water of the lakes, and the wedding chapel just sparkles in the light from all the crystal formations, Nye says. And yes, weddings have been held in the wedding chapel the bridge across the lake and the sparkling room is a great backdrop for the ceremony. Suzanne Fisher, operations manager, explains that 45-minute long tours of the caverns are led by a guide. He or she not only tells the history of the caverns, but is also open to questions from everyone, she says. Even in a drought theres water dripping in the caverns. Fisher says that after a heavy rain, water really seeps into the caverns. Its really a sight to see! We couldnt get into the caverns for a week or two after Tropical Storm Lee in September (2011) there was that much water, she exclaims. Although exploring the caverns frst-hand through a walking tour is the best option, the long fight of steps leading into the caverns may make it diffcult for some people. Some people have diffculty with the steps, so we have a non-walking tour a video of the caverns. This way an entire family can come and everyone can share the experience in some fashion, Nye comments. While a tour of the caverns defnitely tops the list of things to do at Indian Echo, but there are also a number of other activities including Gem Mill Junction, a petting zoo, playground and picnic area. At Gem Mill Junction, budding prospectors can try their hand at panning for gemstones or fossils April through November. There are different bags of dirt to purchase; some have gemstones, while others have fossils. When the kids are panning and the dirt washes away and the stones are revealed, the kids are really excited, Fisher says. Animals such as goats and bunnies are the stars at the petting zoo, while the recently renovated playground with a slide, rock wall and swings provides an opportunity for children to enjoy both new and traditional play activities. Families may pack a lunch to enjoy in the picnic area; freshly grilled food is also available to purchase on the weekends. Pavilions are available to rent for family reunions and parties, and the fresh grilled food may be available by prior arrangement. Birthday parties can also be arranged. Nye notes that educational programs are available for scout and school groups, and theres a special program for home schoolers. Fisher says that families often include Indian Echo Caverns with a visit to nearby Hersheypark or a ride along the Swatara on the Middletown & Hummelstown Railroad. Indian Echo Caverns is located at 368 Middletown Rd., Hummelstown. Details including hours and admission fees are available at www. indianechocaverns.com, or by phone at 566-8131. DAY TRIPPIN: Indian Echo Caverns petting zoo, playground, caverns to explore Lancaster, Pa VISITLANCMOMS.COM AUGUST11,20125 Fallen Leaf 5K Run and Walk Benefts the Tami Swartz Musser Scholarship Fund and the Arline M. Hughes Caring Endowment Fund By Maureen Leader Special Features Writer As mothers we all know what treasures our longtime girlfriends are from childhood, through high school, college and beyond. But one of the most special experiences we can have with our girlfriends is to share the blessings and yes, the trials of motherhood together. There is nothing like sharing diaper stories, play groups, teen years and empty nests with a girlfriend and then fantasizing together about what it will be like to be grandmothers one day. Tami Musser of Hummelstown and Krystal Wnek of Manheim had one of those friendships. The two met in Lock Haven University in 1989. As Wnek puts it, Making our hair high, sharing clothes and dreaming about what awaited us outside of college. And like so many of us, they grew up together, got married within a couple of years of each other and stayed in touch when they moved back to their hometowns. We had a LOT of fun together, learning how to be the women we became, Wnek remembers. They also happened to start their families around the same time. Their babies were born one right after each other until there were fve girls between them: Three Wnek girls and two Musser girls. And through the years the two friends would keep in contact the best they could. As we all try. They were busy working, (both became Social Workers) and they were both busy raising their children. As we all are. They didnt see each other regularly. But as Wnek said, We kept in close contact and always picked up where we had left off. As we all do. But it all came to a horrible end when 40-year-old Musser was killed in a car crash on Jan. 7, 2011 on Route 322 in South Annville Township. Even more heart breaking was that the cause of the crash was due to another persons speeding negligence. It was a crushing loss not only to Wnek, but to Mussers husband, Jason and their daughters, Elise Jane and Layne Jason, who were just 11 and nine-years-old respectively at the time. Musser also left behind a wide circle of devastated family members and a special community at the Masonic Homes in Elizabethtown where she worked. As sad and stunned as everyone was after Mussers death, there was also the strong need to do something more. Something to fnd a way to remember the very special woman Musser was, and, as her mother, Jane Swartz said, To carry on my daughters work the work of giving back to the community. And so friends and family have organized The Fallen Leaf 5K Run and Walk to beneft the Tami Swartz Musser Scholarship Fund and the Arline M. Hughes Caring Endowment Fund. It will be held Sept. 8 at the Masonic Village in Elizabethtown. Jason Musser, Tamis husband said, What is neat about the 5K is that it is being held at her work where she would walk almost daily at lunchtime. She really enjoyed the beautiful grounds and walking and talking with a co-worker. Funds from the run will beneft an annual scholarship at Lower Dauphin High School, where the Mussers graduated and the Masonic Health Care Center. But perhaps even greater than the monetary contributions, Tami Musser will leave lifelong lessons to other mothers and those who knew her. As Wnek says, Sometimes I fnd myself evaluating myself, my time spent with my own children and time with my family based on Tamis life being cut so short. I want to make each day count. To make sure my children know how dear they are and to spend that extra minute giving a hug or special moment before the day is over. The Fallen Leaf 5K Run and Walk will be held September 8. Registration begins at Masonic Village in Elizabethtown at 8 a.m.; Start time 9 a.m. Register online by Sept. 6 at active.com. Tami Swartz Musser Teaching children is like lling a glass at the kitchen faucet. If you turn on the water with too much force, the glass never gets full. But if you reduce the pressure and let the water ow gently, the glass is soon lled. Fathers and mothers need to be rm and wise. But they also need to be gentle and loving. When they give too much advice, too many rules, and too frequent instructions, they are wasting their words. The children cannot absorb them all. This does not mean that parents should just let their children go. It means that they teach them faithfully and patiently, a little at a time. The Bible says, Precept must be upon precept . . . line upon line . . . here a little, and there a little . . . This is the way of effective teaching in the home. ACCU-AIRE MECHANICAL SERVICES, INC. Commercial/Industrial Construction Service Heating Ventilation Air Conditioning Lancaster 285-2228 BINKLEY & HURST LP Farm & Industrial Equipment Sales Service Parts Rental 133 Rothsville Station Rd., Lititz 626-4705 Outback Toy Store 101 W. Lincoln Ave., Lititz 625-2020 EBERSOLES VACUUM CLEANER SALES & SERVICE Household & Commercial Central Vacuums Bags-Parts-Service 20 Beaver Valley Pk., Willow Street 717-464-1325 www.ebersolesvacuum.com GEHMAN FEED MILL, INC. Livestock & Poultry Feeds Horse, Pet & Wild Bird Feeds Denver 717-336-5585 GOODS STORE, INC. Clothing Dry Goods Hardware Lawn & Garden Shoes East Earl 354-4026 Quarryville 786-9028 Schaefferstown 949-2663 Ephrata 733-7356 HIGHS AUTO SERVICE, INC. General Repairs State Inspection Air Conditioning Service 1603 Rothsville Rd., Lititz 626-0264 HOOBER, INC. Case IH Farm Equipment Intercourse 800-732-0017 Chambersburg 800-447-6830 McAlisterville 800-433-6679 Middletown, Delaware 800-341-4028 Seaford, Delaware 800-843-3056 J.B. HOSTETTER & SONS, INC. Hardware Paint Housewares Lawn & Garden Equip Electronics Appliances Just Ask Rental Mount Joy 653-1841 JOHN M. HESS AUCTION SERVICE, INC. 1667 Cider Press Rd., Manheim 877-599-8894 #AY000253L www.hess-auction.com KAUFFMANS FRUIT FARM & MARKET Fruit Growers 717-768-7112 Deli Groceries Produce Bulk Foods www.kauffmansfruitfarm.com 3097 Old Phila. Pk., Bird-In-Hand LANDYSHADE MULCH PRODUCTS Bark/Mushroom/Playground Mulch Screened Top Soil Railroad Ties 1801 Colebrook Rd., Lancaster 898-7689 LICHTY BROTHERS, INC. Finest Collision Service Showroom Quality Painting Towing Hunter Wheel Alignment East Earl 717-445-6733 MARK G. BRUBAKER Certified Public Accountant 214 N. Market St., Elizabethtown 367-2555 MARTINS AUTO SALES Specializing In Used Pickup Trucks 1025 W. Main, New Holland 717-656-6621 MARTINS COUNTRY MARKETS, LLC Groceries Home Dressed Meats LIncoln Mall at Ephrata 738-3754 M. M. WEAVER & SONS, INC. Massey-Ferguson Sales & Service 169 N. Groffdale Rd., Leola 656-2321 MUSSELMAN LUMBER, INC. Lumber Building Materials New Holland 354-4321 Ephrata 733-2241 PaulB LLC Hardware Ephrata 717-738-7350 Fax 738-7360 Paul B. Zimmerman, Inc. Company SENSENIGS FEED MILL Grain Pet Food & Supplies 115 S. Railroad Ave., New Holland 354-4756 800-724-2002 WEAVER MARKETS, INC. Supermarket & Banquet Facilities Adamstown 717-484-4302 Reinholds 717-336-3868 www.weavermarkets.com WEAVERS STORE INC. Shoes Boots Clothing Hardware Sporting Goods Archery Range Housewares Fivepointville - Rte. 897 717-445-6791 800-856-4031 Leola 717-556-0791 Specializing in Hardware YODERS COUNTRY MARKET, RESTAURANT & BUFFET Menu & Buffet Dining Banquets 14 S. Tower Rd., New Holland 354-4748 ZIMMERMANS INSURANCE Personal Light Commercial Life 200 W. Main, Leola 717-656-2176 www.zimmins.net ZOOK MOLASSES CO. Molasses: Liquid Dried Organic GOOD FOOD, INC. Processors of Syrups, Molasses, Sugar, Cooking Oils & Dry Blending Honey Brook 800-327-4406 www.goldenbarrel.com Here a Little. There a little No.79RS Concord Associates. For a free copy ask for No. 79RS and send a long, self-addressed, stamped envelope to: Concord Associates, 205 Riverside Dr., Bridgewater, VA 22812. 6 AUGUST11,2012 VISITLANCMOMS.COM Lancaster, Pa Its August, so let me ask you this: Have your kids had any squabbles this summer vacation? Do you feel like a referee at times? Has mediation become high on your list of parenting duties, but the same issues keep popping up? Its frustrating and draining to deal with bickering, tattling and old-fashioned competition that can sometimes plague sibling relationships. Sibling rivalry is always a hot topic, but competition among siblings is slightly more nuanced. Competition is not necessarily negative, as some forms of competition can move us toward self-improvement. An example of this would be encouraging your daughter to beat her own personal best in her next running event. (And being completely thrilled if she didnt reach that goal.) But when competition brings about feelings of inferiority and doubt about a childs standing in the family, that is not healthy. We see this when a parent remarks, Your brother did so much better on that physics exam. I guess youll just have to try harder next time. OUCH! Understanding the causes of sibling rivalry can help us as parents to lessen the competitiveness in our childrens relationships and to nurture them toward cooperative and loving bonds. Positioning for parents attention and affection begins honestly and early. Imagine you are three years old and the apple of your parents eyes, the center of their universe and then one day, after months of big brother or big sister talk (which is meaningless!), mom and dad bring home a crying, diaper- wearing tiny attention-grabber. She doesnt walk, talk, play games or do anything remotely interesting and furthermore, she seems to have moved in on a permanent basis, with lots of paraphernalia! Your territory has been invaded, your mothers lap has been usurped and your father is a little bleary-eyed. Heres how you might be feeling and what you might be thinking: Im not sure whats going on here, or why they ooh and ahh over this wriggling creature, but I need to make sure I am getting my fair share of attention whether it is positive or negative attention. Mommy and daddy dont love me as much as they did before he arrived. I need to protect my territory. Is she here to stay? Why does everyone make such a big fuss about him and bring him presents? These are a few feelings that can nag at your child, and if negative emotions are pushed aside and not acknowledged, they can morph into more intense feelings as your children grow older. So, as usual, a good starting place is right at the beginning! Early on, when your child expresses jealousy, anger, confusion, etc. with a sibling, provide a private time for the healthy expression of those feelings. Help her identify and name how she is feeling, and then work on solutions to the situations that bring about those feelings. We never want to join in with negative talk about another child; we simply listen. Once the feelings are expressed, then solutions can be worked on. It is also a great practice to prompt our kids to name the positive features about their siblings, as we affrm the great qualities in the child who has come to us for help. My kids have a stock response when a family member or friend asks me if they can pose a parenting question. My 20-something son and teenage girls quickly chime in, We blame the parents! Of course, this is said in jest, but when it comes to sibling rivalry, there are many ways in which parents set up competition or encourage cooperation sometimes unknowingly. So heres another area in parenting where a little forethought and a lot of intentionality will go a long way. What can we do as parents to facilitate cooperation among our kids? Forget about equal treatment. Each child is an individual, so treat him/her as that unique person. Consider temperament, interests, age and stage as you relate to your children. Yes, children arrive wired to be their very own person. The old thought that children came to us as blank slates is just that OLD news! Because a child is born to the same two parents does not mean they will be similar at all. We need to parent each child according to his/her personality yes, thats more work for us. Learn what each child needs from his relationship with you in order to thrive. Throw comparisons out the window! If you are operating under the belief that each child is unique, you have no ground to stand on if you compare him with his sibling when it comes to academic performance, athletic prowess, social skills, cleanliness of rooms, etc. When and if you start to say, Why cant you ___ like your sister?, stop yourself! Offer similar opportunities, but dont expect the same outcomes. Not every child is cut out to be the star pitcher on the baseball team. But each of your children should be offered the opportunity to explore and become profcient at, if not excellent in, different arenas. Look for signs of interest and talent in academics, music, visual arts, athletics, cooking, sewing, woodworking, computers/electronics, etc., and let their intrinsic interest guide their pursuits. Explore the options that are available to your family to nurture these interests/talents. There are often free, low-cost and scholarship opportunities available if you do a little poking around. Recognize and celebrate each childs efforts and successes. It will then be close to impossible to compare your children if they are following their own strengths thats a good thing! I am a huge fan of family time, but time spent alone with each child is vital to your childs healthy development of his identity. Make a plan to spend time with each child individually, doing an activity that you have chosen together based on her interests. Once the plan is made, put it on both of your calendars. The anticipation is very exciting for most kids, and you will both feel refueled by time spent together. I know this is tricky for single parents or parents with a spouse who travels a great deal. Be creative and set up special time for your other children with a relative or friend while you are focusing on one child. One great aspect of this is coming back together as a family and sharing stories from these special one- on-one times. We have a few classic stories in the family vault that can still send us into fts of laughter! Be sure to be even- handed with time scheduled for outings, but remember that there will be times when one child will need a bit more attention than the others. Set clear expectations as to how people in the family are to be treated, and share those guidelines. Believe it or not, kids are not mind-readers, nor are they born knowing the rules. You control the climate in your family, so take the opportunity to set your clan up for success. We want our children to respect us and their brothers and sisters, so it rests on us to treat them with respect. By that I mean speaking kindly, listening carefully, loving unconditionally, communicating often and showing consideration for their individuality. Enable your children to resolve confict as it arises; dont put it off, and dont avoid it. Set ground rules such as: older kids are not allowed to tease littler ones; little guys cant be pests or tattlers; older kids are not responsible for the younger ones and therefore cannot boss them; physical violence and emotional cruelty is never acceptable to express anger or to solve a problem; personal property is private and should be respected you get the gist. Set the example of speaking kind words about your family members. Plan fun family time! Carving out time for the entire family to pursue fun activities together is the icing on the cake. As important as each individual family member is, what makes your family soar is the blending of strong and unique people who have each others best interest at heart. Strong bonds are forged over shared memories, and those sweet times of being together keep us going when the going gets rough. And it gets rough for all of us at different times. Over the years we have made it a priority to attend as many recitals, spelling bees, athletic events, etc. as a family. That has meant watching a track meet in the snow bundled in blankets, taking homework to complete in the auditorium before the recital begins, choosing your sisters award ceremony over ice cream out with a friend, and the list goes on. Celebrate one another during these family times. As I now watch my three children, 22-, 19-, and 17-year- olds, build a sand castle with their dad, it strikes me that this has gone on for 15 years on this very same beach, possibly with some of the same buckets and shovels! From the anticipation, the design planning, the digging and through the fnishing touches, this is a clear outworking of the cooperation that has been nurtured for many years by each family member. There is no greater joy than being a part of a family that values each individual, listens when someone is rejoicing or hurting, celebrates accomplishments, requires you to be your best, and has fun together. We all have the opportunity to guide our children to this type of fulflling sibling/family relationship a relationship like no other full of shared history, memories that can bring on both gales of laughter and gut- wrenching tears with the deep desire to see the other fourish. And, when our children love and cherish each other, that flls our hearts like nothing else can. Kirsten Freitag Murray, Parenting Development Coordinator with Compass Mark, Inc., is a contributor to the LancMoms.com Ask an Expert feature. Sibling competition: Not of the Olympic sort! Ask an Expert Kirsten Freitag Murray Lancaster, Pa VISITLANCMOMS.COM AUGUST11,20127 Tomato time ~ Caramel Tomatoes ~ Mom continued from page 3 Makenzie is currently living in Hawaii with her mother and the Nesbitts really miss her. I know how foster families must feel, she said. If we ever have a little girl, when she is six to seven, I will know exactly what to do! I really enjoyed that stage. Nesbitts training allows her to wear many hats: as a mother, a wife, a helicopter pilot, and a dedicated volunteer. She is thankful for all the training she has received in order to accomplish so much in her life. But this helicopter pilot/ mommy is quick to point out: No amount of training can prepare you 100 percent for parenthood. Just when you think youve got it down, they throw you an in-fight emergency! Nesbitt decided she wanted to become a pilot as a little girl. I never liked being in the back of the plane. I wanted control. I wanted to know what was going on. Nesbitts father was in the army and she was born in Texas. She has lived all over the United States and ended up in the Poconos. Nesbitt comes from a family of fve children. Both of Nesbitts sisters are in the army and she has one brother in the Air force. Nesbitt met her husband, Drew at college at East Stroudsburg. They were both on the cross country team. Nesbitts favorite runner is Deena Kastor, an American long-distance runner who won the bronze medal in the womens marathon at the 2004 Olympics in Athens, Greece. Nesbitt is an accomplished college runner and still competes for the Pennsylvania National Guard running team. She completed the Army Ten-Miler while fve months pregnant and helped the Guard Team to frst place in their category. One of Nesbitts favorite things to do is watch her husband compete in area races and triathlons. They are amazing to watch, she said. Drew nominated his wife to be Mom of the Month and says, She adapts fawlessly to our ever-changing family structure. She gives much of her time to others without asking anything in return. 8 ripe tomatoes of equal size 1 tablespoon salt White pepper 1-1/2 cups brown sugar 1/2 cup butter Skin the tomatoes. Carefully cut off the tops. Place them in a buttered baking dish suitable to serve them in. Sprinkle with salt, pepper and brown sugar. Dab each of them with butter. Preheat oven to 400 and bake for 1/2 hour. Then remove to the top of the stove, and over a low fame (heat), reduce the juice until it is a thick syrup. Return to a hot oven (400 degrees) for 1/2 hour. Serve hot. A favorite of Herbert Hoover, 31st U.S. president Bernards Day Spa $50 gift certifcate Beth Cardwell Photography $75 gift certifcate Dominos Pizza Free large pizza coupons The Framing Concept Professionally-framed copy of the photo featured in this article FreshaPeel Hummus 5 pack of fresh hummus KimRick Garden Center Flower arrangement North Museum of Natural History & Science 1 free one-year membership Parkhill Jewelry $50 gift certifcate Mom of the Month SPONSORS Its hard to wait for good tomatoes even though they are worth the wait. Their just-picked favor and goodness epitomize the best of what summer has to offer. Its no surprise that Italy and Italians have consumed more tomatoes in the last two centuries than any other country think of all that spaghetti sauce. But when luscious, vine-ripened tomatoes appear in Lancaster County gardens and roadside stands, area tomato lovers will eat their share and more of these wonderful vegetables. Or are they fruits? This debate is ongoing, even though the tomato is botanically defned as a fruit. But no matter what you call them, tomatoes are being consumed by the basketful by people hungry for them in salads, sandwiches, main dishes and casseroles and as side dishes. Homegrown cherry tomatoes can be eaten like candy! After months of making do with anemic, cardboard-like tomatoes, the real thing is here. Some people like to stick with the basics sliced tomatoes, salt and pepper and mayonnaise on white bread, of course. But dont limit yourself. One of the best tomato sandwiches starts with a peasant- type bread, maybe a seven-grain bread, then layers sliced tomatoes, red onion and avocado. Some salt and pepper, maybe some sprouts and lettuce fnishes it perfectly. You can also: Buy a pizza crust (or make your own) and top with lightly sauteed sliced tomatoes, mushrooms, onions, and peppers. Sprinkle with basil and shredded mozzarella. Bake 10 minutes at 450 degrees. Or you can brush the crust with olive oil and top with thinly sliced tomatoes. Sprinkle with basil, oregano, Parmesan and mozzarella. Bake 10 minutes at 450 degrees. Layer sliced tomatoes and sliced red onion. Whisk 1/2 cup olive oil, 1/2 cup red wine vinegar; 1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley and 3 large garlic cloves, fnely chopped, together. Season with salt and pepper. Pour over salad and let stand for one hour. Sprinkle with feta cheese (about 1 cup) and Kalamata olives. Make Savory Tomato Wedges by sauteing sliced onion, chopped green bell pepper and celery in 2 tablespoons margarine or butter; cook and stir 5 to 6 minutes until vegetables are crisp-tender. Add 2 tomatoes, cut into wedges, 1 teaspoon sugar, 1/2 teaspoon garlic salt and a dash of pepper; stir gently. Cover; cook 3 to 5 minutes. Serve. Cut thick slices of tomato and alternate with slices of mozzarella cheese. Top with slivered fresh basil leaves and drizzle with olive oil. Mom details 2750 Weaver Road, Lancaster www.montlanc.com 717-560-0815 Ph 717-560-0817 Fax Ages 20 months thru 6th grade Karen Rubenstein, Director ~ director@montlanc.com Educating Lancasters Children for over 25 years! www.livesinbalancegym.com (All Ages!) Tumbling Classes Exercise Classes for Adults 315C Carol Lynn Drive Willow Street, PA Visit 8 AUGUST11,2012 VISITLANCMOMS.COM Lancaster, Pa By Cynthia Hummel Special Features Writer As summer nears its end, moms need to be a little more creative in fnding ways to entertain their kids. Diane Stevenson, director of Sunshine Corners in Strasburg said children there have fun doing big things scaled down for kids. The grown-ups set up a gas station where kids can pretend to fx, fll-up and wash their bikes. Water play includes using squirt bottles to cool one another down. In honor of the Olympics, the kids played shot put, by standing in a hula hoop and throwing a softball. They participated in a long jump and took sponges out of buckets and threw them to represent the water events. Older kids can fnd countless projects on a kids online catalog for the county libraries at http://catalog. lancasterlibraries.org:90/search~S2. An arts and crafts section provides hundreds of possibilities. Kids can spend the rest of their summer learning new skills, including some that cost very little. Rachel DiSalle has a book called, Junk Drawer Jewelry from 1976. Kaitlyn Nichols has a 2011 book, Safety Pin Bracelets. Besides jewelry-making, kids can learn to paint, make puppets and create leather crafts. In all, the childrens online catalog offers arts and crafts books in 22 different categories. Cooking with kids is a way to entertain them and teach basic skills at the same time. Plenty of cookbooks for children are available, with heavily-illustrated and easy-to-understand directions broken down into small steps. Books by Rachel Ray and Williams Sonoma have proven to be especially kid-friendly. Instead of getting a cookbook, moms can teach their children favorite family recipes or at least have them help. Summer fun does not have to come from a book. Kids at Camp Foxtails at Lancaster Friends Meeting spent a week creating their own fun. This years theme was simplicity, leader Beth Reeves said. The children enjoyed nature through hiking at Tucquan Glen and created a homemade water slide. Kids can make cards for people in their lives. Dont wait for a special occasion. Handmade cards are always welcome. Older kids can set aside their computers and write an old-fashioned letter with pen and paper to someone they know. For a different experience, try a Hobo Lunch at the Strasburg Rail Road. Passengers receive a knapsack of goodies to unwrap on the trip and can enjoy lemonade served in mason jars or baked beans scooped from a kettle, along with other freshly-made items. The Hobo Train runs on the hour from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m., through Aug. 26, except for the last ride of the day. End of summer fun: Get creative Left: Alex Carty of Manor Township enjoys the simple summer fun of playing with a balloon. Above: Carl Bright-Walk of Annville speeds down a home-made slip and slide. Below: Victoria Carty of Manor Township creates a hand-made card. Lancaster, Pa VISITLANCMOMS.COM AUGUST11,20129 By Rochelle A. Shenk Special Features Writer Hershey is flled with fun, family-friendly things to see and do. Hershey Gardens, which is celebrating its 75th anniversary this year, is defnitely worth a visit. Perched atop a hill overlooking the town of Hershey and Hersheypark, Hershey Gardens opened as a 3.5-acre rose garden in 1937. Since then its grown to more than 23 acres and includes 11 theme gardens, a Butterfy House, and an educational Childrens Garden. Theres also a fragrant rose garden featuring 275 varieties and 5,600 roses, along with Mrs. Hersheys rose garden containing Old Garden roses that Mrs. Hershey grew. As part of its 75th anniversary celebration, the M.S. Hershey Tribute Garden, which features the M.S. Hershey rose, is making its debut this year. A fun way to discover the gardens is via a scavenger hunt. Special hunts are created for pre-readers (ages 3 to 7) and readers (ages 8 to 14) as well as those who enjoy fowers (the fower power hunt). Harris notes that although guests are encouraged to print out the information from the gardens website (www.hersheygardens.org) and bring it with them to the gardens, it is also available at the gardens on request. The perfect place for family fun is the childrens garden, which is at its peak mid- to late-summer. It is fun and whimsical with a surprise around every turn, and both the young and young-at-heart can experience the wonder of nature and plants. Each of the themed areas features an educational component thats geared for hands-on learning and fun. In one area a Hershey Bar is stamped into the pavement children are challenged to solve various math-related questions (a Hershey Bar is divided into 12 equal squares, which makes eating fun, but also makes it a great math tool). In another, children learn to tell time as they become a human sundial. A path winds through the childrens garden leading to the butterfy house, which is open through Sept. 9 and is celebrating its 15th season this year. On hot days, the perfect way for kids (and adults, too!) to cool off is a quick run through the Hershey Kiss-shaped mister just outside the butterfy house. Inside the wonderful world of more than 300 butterfies, 25 different species of North American butterfies awaits. Theres also an exhibit on the lifecycle of butterfies. Plants in the butterfy house include both nectar plants that they use for food and host plants for egg-laying and caterpillar feeding. As you wander through the butterfy house, one of these delightful creatures may even light on you. A special exhibit, Watering Can Wonders, made its debut this summer and will run through Sept. 30. It features 500 hand-painted watering cans painted by students at Milton Hershey School as a tribute to the gardens 75th anniversary. Theres plenty to see and do at Hershey Gardens, so enjoy this part of Milton Hersheys legacy. The Gardens are open daily 9 a.m. to 7 p.m., and the butterfy house is open daily 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. For further information and admission pricing, please visit www. hersheygardens.org or call 534-3492. Family fun at Hershey Gardens For many frst-t|me moms, breastfeed|ng takes pract|ce, pat|ence and, qu|te often, the he|p of a |actat|on spec|a||st. That`s why the Women`s P|ace at Heart of |ancaster offers |actat|on educat|on and counse||ng both before and after b|rth. And the confdence of hav|ng the same nurse to care for you and your baby |n your own pr|vate room. Call 717-625-5420 to arrange for your free personal tour of the Womens Place today. myth #59 BREAS T F EEDI NG COMES NAT URAL LY This hospital is partially owned by physicians. Heart of Lancaster Regional Medical Center 1500 Highlands Drive | Lititz, Pennsylvania 17543 | 717-625-5420 HeartofLancaster.com Proudly affiliated with OBGYN of Lancaster. 10 AUGUST11,2012 VISITLANCMOMS.COM Lancaster, Pa Share of Lancaster, a non-proft organization that offers pregnancy and infant loss support, will hold its 10th annual Walk to Remember Sunday, Sept. 30 at 2 p.m. The event takes place at The Greenfeld Corporate Center. The annual event, which began in 2003, provides an opportunity for families who have experienced pregnancy or infant loss to come together for a time of remembrance. Many people who endure the loss of a baby, whether through miscarriage, pregnancy complications, stillbirth, or SIDS, feel extremely isolated by the experience, said Abby Messick, executive director of Share of Lancaster. The walk provides an opportunity for these individuals to come together as a community in support of one another; to help them realize theyre not alone. It offers a time to remember and refect upon the lives that were lost. Activities for the event include a walk around the ponds at Greenfeld Corporate Center, a reading of baby names, a releasing of doves, a candle lighting, music, various childrens activities and more. Participants registered by Aug. 24, will receive a personalized memorial bracelet with the name of the baby they wish to remember. Baby names and personalized memorial messages are also included in the program brochure. Registration is available online at shareofancaster.org (click on the Walk to Remember link). The event is open to the public. The registration fee is $30 per family and includes two personalized bracelets and a memorial message printed in the program brochure. Sponsorship opportunities are available by contacting Share of Lancaster at 717-917-1112. Share of Lancaster: 10th annual Walk to Remember Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support Group holds walk September 30 Share of Lancaster is a non- proft organization that exists to bring comfort and understanding to families who have suffered the loss of a baby through miscarriage, pregnancy complications, prematurity, stillbirth, SIDS and any other cause. We stand by parents in their journey of grief, offering a helping hand, a listening ear and open arms. Services We Provide: Educational programs for health professionals and the community. Three Support Groups: Early Pregnancy Loss, Pregnancy After Loss, and Late Loss/Early Infant Loss. A schedule is available online at shareofancaster. org or by calling 717-823-2789. The Share Burial: A common burial of infants who have died due to loss of pregnancy, stillbirth, or early infant death. Burials are held the second Tuesday in January, March, May, July, September and November at St. Josephs New Catholic Cemetery. A graveside service begins at 2:30 p.m. and is lead by a variety of local clergy who donate their time. Share burials are provided free of charge, out of care and compassion, by Share of Lancaster, Charles F. Snyder Funeral Home, and St. Josephs New Catholic Cemetery. All of our services are provided free of charge. For more information visit shareofancaster.org or contact us at 717-823-2789. About Share of Lancaster Lancaster, Pa VISITLANCMOMS.COM AUGUST11,201211 ACROSS 1. (K) Start a card game 5. (K) Climbers goal, to reach the ___ 8. (K) Show poor sportsmanship 12. Unpolished person 13. Be faulty? 14. (K) Volcanos output 15. Sphere of work 16. Old name preceder 17. (K) Thing on a to-do list 18. Old soda- machine feature (2 words) 21. (K) Like summer days 22. (K) Noahs craft 23. Valued possession 26. (K) Who ___ you kidding? 27. (K) Traffic component 30. Char the surface 31. (K) Catch you later! 32. (K) Pet store purchase, perhaps 33. (K) Horse food 34. (K) Busy bug 35. Council of Trent, e.g. 36. (K) Mates of mas 37. (K) Act like a thirsty cat 38. Firemans badge shape (2 words) 44. Caesars robe 45. (K) Shade tree 46. (K) More than bad 47. (K) Sound from a certain noc- turnal bird 48. (K) Pigeon sound 49. (K) Enticing store sign 50. (K) Beat by a whisker 51. (K) Barnyard biddy 52. (K) Opposite of fast DOWN 1. (K) Dull-colored 2. Money overseas 3. Support the scofflaw 4. (K) Jacket material 5. Religious doctrine 6. (K) Black-and- white cookie 7. (K) Make ready 8. Lose a staring contest 9. (K) Use a scale from one to ten 10. State absolutely 11. (K) Group of whales 19. Real estate buy 20. (K) ___ he rode out of sight 23. (K) Proof of a fire 24. Sailors milieu 25. (K) Put into words 26. (K) Pirates yes 27. (K) Soup container 28. ... ___ our fathers brought forth on this continent ... 29. (K) Valentines Day color 31. Appeal to 32. Cone-bearing tree 34. (K) Sluggers tool 35. Animal pouch 36. (K) Piece of dinnerware 37. (K) Citrus fruit 38. Kind of ring or swing 39. Wide-eyed 40. Blackthorn berry 41. (K) Shaped like a racetrack 42. Airtight tower 43. Whole bunch 44. (K) ___ end (last words in some storybooks) Created by Timothy E. Parker January 16, 2012 The (K) Clues are for Kids 2012 Universal Uclick www.universaluclick.com Can you find the answer to this riddle within the solved puzzle? Pitchers reward? 4 9 - A ) S a l e R i d d l e a n s w e r : PUZZLE ANSWERS DR. PIA FENIMORE Pediatrician with Lancaster Pediatrics. Pediatric Health KIRSTEN FREITAG-MURRAY Parenting Development Coordinator with Compass Mark, Inc. Social, relational and/or behavioral issues DR. MARIA MELITON Pediatric Dentist with M2 Dentistry for Children & Teens, LLC. Pediatric Dental Health MEGAN CONKLIN Certied Orthopedic Manual Therapist with Hartz Physical Therapy. Fitness, injury prevention and rehabilitation TERRY EVEARITT Certied College Planner with College Funding Advisors, Inc. College nancial planning, nancial aid, and other college nancing JOHN HOLTZAPPLE Safe Kids Certied Car Seat Technician with Stadel Volvo. Proper car seat selection, installation and harness placement Dr. Maria Meliton, QUESTION: My 5-yr-old daughter is grinding her teeth at night. She has complained about her mouth hurting in the morning, and it wasnt until I heard her grinding that I realized what it was. Should she go to our dentist or an orthodontist? Megan Conklin, QUESTION: My husband woke up one morning with signicant tightness in his neck. Is there a particular way he should sleep or is there a special pillow he can use to avoid and relieve any further pain? Are there any exercises or stretches you recommend if it were to happen again? Submit your questions today at LancMoms.com! Just click on our Ask an Expert feature and choose your expert. Its simple and easy. Our experts will respond to several questions a week so check back daily to see your answer. Ask an Expert on LancMoms.com DR. PIA FENIMORE, Pediatrician with Lancaster Pediatrics Pediatric health KIRSTEN FREITAG MURRAY, Parenting Development Coordinator with Compass Mark, Inc. Social, relational and/or behavioral issues DR. MARIA MELITON, Pediatric Dentist with M2 Dentistry for Children & Teens, LLC Pediatric dental health MEGAN CONKLIN, Certied Orthopedic Manual Therapist with HARTZ Physical Therapy Fitness, injury prevention and rehabilitation TERRY EVEARITT, Certied College Planner with College Funding Advisors, Inc. College nancial planning, nancial aid, and other college nancing Weve got answers! Questions? Sponsored by: Dr. Pia Fenimore Kirsten Freitag Murray Dr. Maria Meliton Megan Conklin Terry Evearitt P r o d u c e d b y L a n c a s t e r N e w s p a p e r s , I n c . 12 AUGUST11,2012 VISITLANCMOMS.COM Lancaster, Pa Wolf Plaza 2060 Bennett Ave Lancaster 299-3485 1-800-432-2020 www.justforkidsfurnituresales.com Mon-Fri 10-8 ~ Sat 10-5 ~ Sun 12-4 Follow us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/justforkidsfurnituresales One of the Largest Selections of Infant to Teen Furniture on the East Coast! FROM THE CRIB TO COLLEGE - WEVE GOT YOU COVERED! LARGEST SELECTION of CHILDRENS FURNITURE AVAILABLE LOCALLY! U U FURNITURE SALES We guarantee that if you nd a lower price within York, Harrisburg, Lancaster, or Reading that we will not only match that price, but . . . presents: Furniture Wolf Plaza Lancaster 717-299-3485 Excludes Sorelle 1050 & 1090 cribs. One coupon per household. 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