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MOM OF
THE MONTH
Sibling Competition:
Not of the Olympic Sort
A BASKET CASE
over housework
LancMoms.com // // // August 11, 2012
2 AUGUST11,2012 VISITLANCMOMS.COM Lancaster, Pa
A basket case over housework
Editors note: This column,
which originally ran in 2005, is
published again today because
the columnist is on vacation
from both her day job and,
quite happily, housework. In
the past seven years, her views
on cleaning remain unchanged,
unlike the bed sheets and the
bath towels.
I was enjoying dessert with a
dear friend on a recent Sunday
evening when she stood up and
discreetly disclosed that she was
heading home to fold a load of
laundry.
Then came the confession:
It had been sitting in her dryer
since, she said in a whisper,
Thursday.
I gasped not out of shock
but because of the sudden
wave of excited relief that
washed over me.
You see, I, too, had been
hiding clean laundry in the
Maytag since ... Wednesday.
Ahh, for the comfort found
in shared experience. Ill blame
my dirty domestic secret on
time. I simply didnt have
enough of it at weeks end. But
there was another reason: The
wash included ftted sheets and I
simply wasnt up to the struggle
that I knew would ensue.
With the exception of Martha
Stewart, family-and-consumer-
science teachers and my mom,
does anybody really know how
to fold ftted sheets?
Once Ive retrieved the socks
and fabric softener sheet that are
stuck in the elasticized corners, I
typically lose myself literally
in a mess of contoured cotton
as I try to line up those dastardly
rounded edges.
It must be easier to split an
atom.
No matter how much I
work at it, my folded and
ftted sheets resemble neither
when Im done. Theyre puffy.
Bumpy. Like they were never
even washed. So I stuff them
into the back of the linen closet,
behind the nicely folded fat
sheets. And shut the door.
Tightly.
Which brings me to the wider
issue of domesticity. Why am I
so defcient? I love to cook and
bake and garden and entertain.
But as for the cleaning and
the laundry, well, lets just say
Ive got some wrinkles to iron
out.
Dont get me wrong. I clean.
But not with the same kind of
cheerfulness that Snow White
displayed when she tidied up
the Dwarfs digs deep in, what
Im sure was, a dirt-and-dust-
infested forest.
I want to heigh-ho, heigh-ho
and whistle a happy tune when
I brandish a vacuum and dust
cloth. Like my sister-in-law. You
should see the joy on her face
when shes on her hands and
knees, wiping and scrubbing.
She is so satisfed that she
sparkles, just like her foors.
Housework is probably the
longest four-letter word I know.
And when spring-cleaning
season rolls around does
anybody still do that? its
not just the routine, but the
pressure to clean the rugs, wash
the windows, wipe down the
woodwork, move the furniture,
clean out closets, and so on.
Then there are the ongoing
battles against paper piles
breeding on countertops ...
the crumbs that collect in the
corners of the kitchen foor ...
the bathroom mirrors that seem
to resurface with toothpaste
speckles almost as soon as the
Windex is carried beyond the
doorway.
When I was a kid, Saturday
mornings were set aside for
weekly cleaning chores. The
bathroom. The bedrooms. The
laundry. The inspiration? No
play time until the work got
done.
Now, I must confess, because
of schedules, the cleaning
tends to get done on a when-I-
can-get-to-it basis. While Im
running the bath water, or fxing
dinner, or between daughters
dance class and a nighttime
meeting.
Oh, gotta go.
The buzzer just went off on
the dryer. No contour sheets,
just a simple load of underwear
and socks. But, as pairs of the
latter go, you know what that
means ...
Barbara Hough Roda is mom
to Faith and managing editor of
the Sunday News.
Contact her at 481-7335 or
broda@LNPnews.com.
Lori Sensenig and her 3-year-old son, Caden, of Reinholds,
enjoy the festivities at Terre Hill Days held recently at Community
Memorial Park.
Jeff Ruppenthal/ Sunday News Photo
COVER PHOTO: Jo Jo Eshleman, 5, is loaded up with fowers at
her home in Quarryville. Neighbors recently used fowers, shrubs,
pavers and lots of love to transform her familys yard into a retreat
where Jo Jos mom, Katie, can relax and recover from a bilateral
mastectomy and ensuing chemotherapy and radiation.
Jeff Ruppenthal/ Sunday News Photo
Barbara Hough Roda
Check out what other Lancaster Moms
(and Dads) are doing and saying.
Forums, blogs, questions, and answers
can be found at LancMoms.com.
Get a LancMoms.com card
good for discounts and services.
Visit
Lancaster, Pa VISITLANCMOMS.COM AUGUST11,20123
By Maureen Leader
Special Features Writer
You might say that Mom of
the Month, Amanda Nesbitt
has spent most of her life in
training.
Nesbitt is a member of the
Pennsylvania Army National
Guard and started basic training
in high school. After graduation
she moved on to advanced
individual training and became
a radio operator. Nesbitt was
deployed to Afghanistan at
the age of 19 and afterwards
decided to begin training as
a helicopter pilot. Right now
she fies a CH-47 Chinook
helicopter and trains about
once a month fying out of Fort
Indian Town Gap.
Nesbitt also volunteers
her time at the Training Loft
in Mountville, helping girls
in sports training. And she
volunteers to help train girls
for Girls on the Run an
educational and motivational
running-based program for
girls. Nesbitt, herself, is an
accomplished cross country
runner and often trains
for marathons and other
competitive runs.
But probably the most
important training Nesbitt has
ever received is the training she
went through before becoming
a mother. Nesbitt and her
husband, Drew, are parents of
a four-month-old son, Dathan.
But before he was born, the
Nesbitts had the opportunity to
get training as parents.
Not many moms get mommy
training before actually
becoming a mother themselves.
We may babysit, or have our
nieces and nephews stay for
a weekend. But Nesbitt and
her husband actually did get
parent training when Nesbitts
sister, Alicia was deployed to
Afghanistan for a year. During
that time the Nesbitts not yet
parents themselves took in
Alicias six-year-old daughter,
Makenzie.
Caring for Makenzie was
not just a glorifed babysitting
job. The Nesbitts were going to
actually parent her, just as if she
was their own daughter.
And this was a big year for
Makenzie. She was six years
old, fnishing up kindergarten,
getting ready for frst grade and
learning to read. And she had to
go through all these transitions
while her mommy was away
fghting in Afghanistan. There
was a lot to consider and the
Nesbitts understood this.
But even though Nesbitt
wasnt yet a mother, she
instinctively knew what to do.
She and Drew already had a
relationship with Makenzie,
but it was as fun Aunt Mandi
and Uncle Drew. This sort of
relationship, though wonderful
for weekend visits, would not
work for an entire year. There
would be bedtimes to stick
to, homework to do, baths to
take and chores to complete.
We couldnt just sugar her
up and send her home like we
were used to doing, Nesbitt
explained.
So the couple sat down with
the little girl and had a talk with
her to explain how everyones
roles were going to be different
for a year while she lived with
them. Makenzie is very mature
and a very resilient kid, but we
had the talk anyway, recalled
Nesbitt. The couple explained
how things would go right back
the way they were as fun Aunt
Mandi and Uncle Drew as soon
as Makenzies mother returned
home. Nesbitt added that she
is especially thankful to Drew,
who she said was completely
on board, with everything.
If there was a husband of the
month award, he should get
that!
Turns out it was a wonderful
year for all. It was a crash
course in parenting, said
Nesbitt. And this proved to be
quite helpful because during
that year Nesbitt became
pregnant with her son, Dathan.
Again, Nesbitts mothering
instincts kicked in as she
thoroughly included Makenzie
in the new babys arrival.
Makenzie helped with all the
planning and shopping and even
helped decorate the nursery
for her new cousin. She also
had the privilege of knowing
the babys name before anyone
else. It was neat to share all
that with her, remembers
Nesbitt. And it turns out that
the day Dathan was born,
Makenzies mother, Nesbitts
sister, Alicia, came home safely
from Afghanistan. Thats God
planning, said Nesbitt.
Mom of
the Month ~
Amanda Nesbitt
Amanda Nesbitt and son Dathan
- continued on page 7
400 College Ave
Lancaster
717-291-3941
www.northmuseum.org
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Coming in September: Free planetarium shows!*
Every show, every weekendin celebration of Museum Month
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* With paid Museum admission
GET CURIOUS!
400 College Avenue, Lancaster
291.3941 www.northmuseum.org
4 AUGUST11,2012 VISITLANCMOMS.COM Lancaster, Pa
By Rochelle A. Shenk
Special Features Writer
The Dog Days of August
may bring on hot, muggy
conditions, but there are
fun, family-friendly ways to
beat the heat. Relaxing in a
pool, enjoying water rides at
amusement parks or taking
in one of the many summer
blockbuster movies in a local
theater are some ways to beat
the heat. A visit to Indian
Echo Caverns and Estate
in Hummelstown could be
included on that list.
In the summer, the cavern
is a great way to beat the heat
the temperature is a constant
52 degrees year-round, says
Karen Nye, Indian Echo public
relations manager.
The mouth of the limestone
caverns sits along the Swatara
Creek. This underground
world boasts two crystal clear
lakes, passageways and rooms
that display natures geologic
wonders.
The frst visitors to the
caverns are believed to have
been the Susquehannock
Indians, who would have used
the caverns as shelter from
inclement weather.
The caverns were frst opened
to the public in 1929 after John
Bieber completed a project
to make the pathways safe
for travel and opened many
of the rooms that had been
closed off due to large mineral
deposits. While the caverns
attracted numerous visitors in
the frst years of operation, the
Depression took its toll and
visitors dwindled. Unfortunately
Bieber lost ownership to the
bank. In 1942 Edward Schwartz
purchased the caverns, and
today it remains under family
ownership.
The crystal lakes and the
wedding chapel are two of the
areas that get the most oohs
and aahs from people. Its
amazing for people of all ages
to see the amazing, clear water
of the lakes, and the wedding
chapel just sparkles in the light
from all the crystal formations,
Nye says. And yes, weddings
have been held in the wedding
chapel the bridge across the
lake and the sparkling room
is a great backdrop for the
ceremony.
Suzanne Fisher, operations
manager, explains that
45-minute long tours of the
caverns are led by a guide. He
or she not only tells the history
of the caverns, but is also open
to questions from everyone,
she says.
Even in a drought theres
water dripping in the caverns.
Fisher says that after a heavy
rain, water really seeps into
the caverns. Its really a sight
to see! We couldnt get into
the caverns for a week or two
after Tropical Storm Lee in
September (2011) there was
that much water, she exclaims.
Although exploring the
caverns frst-hand through a
walking tour is the best option,
the long fight of steps leading
into the caverns may make
it diffcult for some people.
Some people have diffculty
with the steps, so we have a
non-walking tour a video of
the caverns. This way an entire
family can come and everyone
can share the experience in
some fashion, Nye comments.
While a tour of the caverns
defnitely tops the list of
things to do at Indian Echo,
but there are also a number of
other activities including Gem
Mill Junction, a petting zoo,
playground and picnic area.
At Gem Mill Junction,
budding prospectors can try
their hand at panning for
gemstones or fossils April
through November. There
are different bags of dirt to
purchase; some have gemstones,
while others have fossils.
When the kids are panning and
the dirt washes away and the
stones are revealed, the kids are
really excited, Fisher says.
Animals such as goats and
bunnies are the stars at the
petting zoo, while the recently
renovated playground with a
slide, rock wall and swings
provides an opportunity for
children to enjoy both new
and traditional play activities.
Families may pack a lunch to
enjoy in the picnic area; freshly
grilled food is also available
to purchase on the weekends.
Pavilions are available to
rent for family reunions and
parties, and the fresh grilled
food may be available by prior
arrangement. Birthday parties
can also be arranged. Nye notes
that educational programs are
available for scout and school
groups, and theres a special
program for home schoolers.
Fisher says that families
often include Indian Echo
Caverns with a visit to nearby
Hersheypark or a ride along the
Swatara on the Middletown &
Hummelstown Railroad.
Indian Echo Caverns is
located at 368 Middletown
Rd., Hummelstown. Details
including hours and admission
fees are available at www.
indianechocaverns.com, or by
phone at 566-8131.
DAY TRIPPIN: Indian Echo Caverns
petting zoo, playground, caverns to explore
Lancaster, Pa VISITLANCMOMS.COM AUGUST11,20125
Fallen Leaf 5K Run and Walk
Benefts the Tami Swartz Musser Scholarship Fund and the Arline M. Hughes Caring Endowment Fund
By Maureen Leader
Special Features Writer
As mothers we all know what
treasures our longtime girlfriends
are from childhood, through high
school, college and beyond. But
one of the most special experiences
we can have with our girlfriends
is to share the blessings and yes,
the trials of motherhood together.
There is nothing like sharing diaper
stories, play groups, teen years
and empty nests with a girlfriend
and then fantasizing together
about what it will be like to be
grandmothers one day.
Tami Musser of Hummelstown
and Krystal Wnek of Manheim
had one of those friendships. The
two met in Lock Haven University
in 1989. As Wnek puts it, Making
our hair high, sharing clothes and
dreaming about what awaited us
outside of college.
And like so many of us, they
grew up together, got married
within a couple of years of each
other and stayed in touch when they
moved back to their hometowns.
We had a LOT of fun together,
learning how to be the women we
became, Wnek remembers. They
also happened to start their families
around the same time. Their babies
were born one right after each other
until there were fve girls between
them: Three Wnek girls and two
Musser girls.
And through the years the two
friends would keep in contact the
best they could. As we all try. They
were busy working, (both became
Social Workers) and they were both
busy raising their children. As we
all are. They didnt see each other
regularly. But as Wnek said, We
kept in close contact and always
picked up where we had left off.
As we all do.
But it all came to a horrible end
when 40-year-old Musser was
killed in a car crash on Jan. 7, 2011
on Route 322 in South Annville
Township. Even more heart
breaking was that the cause of the
crash was due to another persons
speeding negligence. It was a
crushing loss not only to Wnek,
but to Mussers husband, Jason
and their daughters, Elise Jane and
Layne Jason, who were just 11 and
nine-years-old respectively at the
time.
Musser also left behind a
wide circle of devastated family
members and a special community
at the Masonic Homes in
Elizabethtown where she worked.
As sad and stunned as everyone
was after Mussers death, there
was also the strong need to do
something more. Something to
fnd a way to remember the very
special woman Musser was, and,
as her mother, Jane Swartz said,
To carry on my daughters work
the work of giving back to the
community.
And so friends and family have
organized The Fallen Leaf 5K
Run and Walk to beneft the Tami
Swartz Musser Scholarship Fund
and the Arline M. Hughes Caring
Endowment Fund. It will be held
Sept. 8 at the Masonic Village
in Elizabethtown. Jason Musser,
Tamis husband said, What is
neat about the 5K is that it is being
held at her work where she would
walk almost daily at lunchtime.
She really enjoyed the beautiful
grounds and walking and talking
with a co-worker.
Funds from the run will beneft
an annual scholarship at Lower
Dauphin High School, where
the Mussers graduated and the
Masonic Health Care Center.
But perhaps even greater than
the monetary contributions, Tami
Musser will leave lifelong lessons to
other mothers and those who knew
her. As Wnek says, Sometimes I
fnd myself evaluating myself, my
time spent with my own children
and time with my family based
on Tamis life being cut so short.
I want to make each day count.
To make sure my children know
how dear they are and to spend
that extra minute giving a hug or
special moment before the day is
over.
The Fallen Leaf 5K Run and
Walk will be held September 8.
Registration begins at Masonic
Village in Elizabethtown at 8 a.m.;
Start time 9 a.m.
Register online by Sept. 6 at
active.com.
Tami Swartz Musser
Teaching children is like lling
a glass at the kitchen faucet. If you
turn on the water with too much
force, the glass never gets full. But if
you reduce the pressure and let the
water ow gently, the glass is soon
lled.
Fathers and mothers need to be
rm and wise. But they also need
to be gentle and loving. When they
give too much advice, too many
rules, and too frequent instructions,
they are wasting their words. The
children cannot absorb them all.
This does not mean that parents
should just let their children go.
It means that they teach them
faithfully and patiently, a little at a
time.
The Bible says, Precept must be
upon precept . . . line upon line . . .
here a little, and there a little . . .
This is the way of effective teaching
in the home.
ACCU-AIRE MECHANICAL
SERVICES, INC.
Commercial/Industrial
Construction Service
Heating Ventilation
Air Conditioning
Lancaster 285-2228
BINKLEY & HURST LP
Farm & Industrial Equipment
Sales Service Parts Rental
133 Rothsville Station Rd.,
Lititz 626-4705
Outback Toy Store
101 W. Lincoln Ave., Lititz
625-2020
EBERSOLES VACUUM CLEANER
SALES & SERVICE
Household & Commercial
Central Vacuums
Bags-Parts-Service
20 Beaver Valley Pk.,
Willow Street 717-464-1325
www.ebersolesvacuum.com
GEHMAN FEED MILL, INC.
Livestock & Poultry Feeds
Horse, Pet & Wild Bird Feeds
Denver 717-336-5585
GOODS STORE, INC.
Clothing Dry Goods Hardware
Lawn & Garden Shoes
East Earl 354-4026
Quarryville 786-9028
Schaefferstown 949-2663
Ephrata 733-7356
HIGHS AUTO SERVICE, INC.
General Repairs State Inspection
Air Conditioning Service
1603 Rothsville Rd., Lititz
626-0264
HOOBER, INC.
Case IH Farm Equipment
Intercourse 800-732-0017
Chambersburg 800-447-6830
McAlisterville 800-433-6679
Middletown, Delaware
800-341-4028
Seaford, Delaware
800-843-3056
J.B. HOSTETTER & SONS, INC.
Hardware Paint Housewares
Lawn & Garden Equip Electronics
Appliances Just Ask Rental
Mount Joy 653-1841
JOHN M. HESS
AUCTION SERVICE, INC.
1667 Cider Press Rd., Manheim
877-599-8894 #AY000253L
www.hess-auction.com
KAUFFMANS FRUIT FARM
& MARKET
Fruit Growers 717-768-7112
Deli Groceries Produce
Bulk Foods
www.kauffmansfruitfarm.com
3097 Old Phila. Pk., Bird-In-Hand
LANDYSHADE MULCH
PRODUCTS
Bark/Mushroom/Playground Mulch
Screened Top Soil Railroad Ties
1801 Colebrook Rd.,
Lancaster 898-7689
LICHTY BROTHERS, INC.
Finest Collision Service
Showroom Quality Painting
Towing Hunter Wheel Alignment
East Earl 717-445-6733
MARK G. BRUBAKER
Certified Public Accountant
214 N. Market St.,
Elizabethtown 367-2555
MARTINS AUTO SALES
Specializing In Used Pickup Trucks
1025 W. Main, New Holland
717-656-6621
MARTINS COUNTRY
MARKETS, LLC
Groceries Home Dressed Meats
LIncoln Mall at Ephrata 738-3754
M. M. WEAVER & SONS, INC.
Massey-Ferguson Sales & Service
169 N. Groffdale Rd.,
Leola 656-2321
MUSSELMAN LUMBER, INC.
Lumber Building Materials
New Holland 354-4321
Ephrata 733-2241
PaulB LLC
Hardware Ephrata
717-738-7350 Fax 738-7360
Paul B. Zimmerman, Inc. Company
SENSENIGS FEED MILL
Grain Pet Food & Supplies
115 S. Railroad Ave., New Holland
354-4756 800-724-2002
WEAVER MARKETS, INC.
Supermarket & Banquet Facilities
Adamstown 717-484-4302
Reinholds 717-336-3868
www.weavermarkets.com
WEAVERS STORE INC.
Shoes Boots Clothing
Hardware Sporting Goods
Archery Range Housewares
Fivepointville - Rte. 897
717-445-6791 800-856-4031
Leola 717-556-0791
Specializing in Hardware
YODERS COUNTRY MARKET,
RESTAURANT & BUFFET
Menu & Buffet Dining Banquets
14 S. Tower Rd.,
New Holland 354-4748
ZIMMERMANS INSURANCE
Personal Light Commercial Life
200 W. Main, Leola
717-656-2176
www.zimmins.net
ZOOK MOLASSES CO.
Molasses: Liquid Dried Organic
GOOD FOOD, INC.
Processors of Syrups,
Molasses, Sugar, Cooking Oils
& Dry Blending
Honey Brook 800-327-4406
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Here a Little. There a little
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6 AUGUST11,2012 VISITLANCMOMS.COM Lancaster, Pa
Its August, so let me ask you
this: Have your kids had any
squabbles this summer vacation?
Do you feel like a referee at
times? Has mediation become
high on your list of parenting
duties, but the same issues keep
popping up? Its frustrating and
draining to deal with bickering,
tattling and old-fashioned
competition that can sometimes
plague sibling relationships.
Sibling rivalry is always a
hot topic, but competition
among siblings is slightly more
nuanced.
Competition is not necessarily
negative, as some forms of
competition can move us toward
self-improvement. An example
of this would be encouraging
your daughter to beat her own
personal best in her next running
event. (And being completely
thrilled if she didnt reach that
goal.) But when competition
brings about feelings of
inferiority and doubt about a
childs standing in the family,
that is not healthy. We see this
when a parent remarks, Your
brother did so much better on
that physics exam. I guess youll
just have to try harder next
time. OUCH!
Understanding the causes of
sibling rivalry can help us as parents
to lessen the competitiveness in
our childrens relationships and to
nurture them toward cooperative
and loving bonds.
Positioning for parents
attention and affection begins
honestly and early. Imagine
you are three years old and the
apple of your parents eyes, the
center of their universe and then
one day, after months of big
brother or big sister talk (which
is meaningless!), mom and dad
bring home a crying, diaper-
wearing tiny attention-grabber.
She doesnt walk, talk, play
games or do anything remotely
interesting and furthermore,
she seems to have moved in on
a permanent basis, with lots of
paraphernalia! Your territory has
been invaded, your mothers lap
has been usurped and your father
is a little bleary-eyed. Heres
how you might be feeling and
what you might be thinking:
Im not sure whats going
on here, or why they ooh and
ahh over this wriggling creature,
but I need to make sure I am
getting my fair share of attention
whether it is positive or
negative attention.
Mommy and daddy dont
love me as much as they did
before he arrived.
I need to protect my
territory.
Is she here to stay?
Why does everyone make
such a big fuss about him and
bring him presents?
These are a few feelings that
can nag at your child, and if
negative emotions are pushed
aside and not acknowledged,
they can morph into more
intense feelings as your children
grow older. So, as usual, a
good starting place is right at
the beginning! Early on, when
your child expresses jealousy,
anger, confusion, etc. with a
sibling, provide a private time
for the healthy expression of
those feelings. Help her identify
and name how she is feeling,
and then work on solutions to
the situations that bring about
those feelings. We never want to
join in with negative talk about
another child; we simply listen.
Once the feelings are expressed,
then solutions can be worked
on. It is also a great practice to
prompt our kids to name the
positive features about their
siblings, as we affrm the great
qualities in the child who has
come to us for help.
My kids have a stock response
when a family member or
friend asks me if they can
pose a parenting question. My
20-something son and teenage
girls quickly chime in, We
blame the parents! Of course,
this is said in jest, but when it
comes to sibling rivalry, there
are many ways in which parents
set up competition or encourage
cooperation sometimes
unknowingly. So heres another
area in parenting where a
little forethought and a lot of
intentionality will go a long way.
What can we do as parents to
facilitate cooperation among our
kids?
Forget about equal treatment.
Each child is an individual, so
treat him/her as that unique
person. Consider temperament,
interests, age and stage as you
relate to your children. Yes,
children arrive wired to be
their very own person. The old
thought that children came to
us as blank slates is just that
OLD news! Because a child
is born to the same two parents
does not mean they will be
similar at all. We need to parent
each child according to his/her
personality yes, thats more
work for us. Learn what each
child needs from his relationship
with you in order to thrive.
Throw comparisons out the
window! If you are operating
under the belief that each child
is unique, you have no ground
to stand on if you compare him
with his sibling when it comes to
academic performance, athletic
prowess, social skills, cleanliness
of rooms, etc. When and if you
start to say, Why cant you ___
like your sister?, stop yourself!
Offer similar opportunities,
but dont expect the same
outcomes. Not every child is
cut out to be the star pitcher
on the baseball team. But
each of your children should
be offered the opportunity to
explore and become profcient
at, if not excellent in, different
arenas. Look for signs of
interest and talent in academics,
music, visual arts, athletics,
cooking, sewing, woodworking,
computers/electronics, etc.,
and let their intrinsic interest
guide their pursuits. Explore
the options that are available
to your family to nurture these
interests/talents. There are often
free, low-cost and scholarship
opportunities available if you do
a little poking around. Recognize
and celebrate each childs
efforts and successes. It will
then be close to impossible to
compare your children if they are
following their own strengths
thats a good thing!
I am a huge fan of family
time, but time spent alone with
each child is vital to your childs
healthy development of his
identity. Make a plan to spend
time with each child individually,
doing an activity that you have
chosen together based on her
interests. Once the plan is made,
put it on both of your calendars.
The anticipation is very exciting
for most kids, and you will
both feel refueled by time spent
together. I know this is tricky for
single parents or parents with a
spouse who travels a great deal.
Be creative and set up special
time for your other children with
a relative or friend while you are
focusing on one child. One great
aspect of this is coming back
together as a family and sharing
stories from these special one-
on-one times. We have a few
classic stories in the family vault
that can still send us into fts of
laughter! Be sure to be even-
handed with time scheduled for
outings, but remember that there
will be times when one child will
need a bit more attention than
the others.
Set clear expectations as to
how people in the family are
to be treated, and share those
guidelines. Believe it or not,
kids are not mind-readers, nor
are they born knowing the rules.
You control the climate in your
family, so take the opportunity to
set your clan up for success. We
want our children to respect us
and their brothers and sisters, so
it rests on us to treat them with
respect. By that I mean speaking
kindly, listening carefully, loving
unconditionally, communicating
often and showing consideration
for their individuality. Enable
your children to resolve confict
as it arises; dont put it off,
and dont avoid it. Set ground
rules such as: older kids are not
allowed to tease littler ones; little
guys cant be pests or tattlers;
older kids are not responsible
for the younger ones and
therefore cannot boss them;
physical violence and emotional
cruelty is never acceptable to
express anger or to solve a
problem; personal property is
private and should be respected
you get the gist. Set the
example of speaking kind words
about your family members.
Plan fun family time!
Carving out time for the entire
family to pursue fun activities
together is the icing on the cake.
As important as each individual
family member is, what makes
your family soar is the blending
of strong and unique people who
have each others best interest at
heart. Strong bonds are forged
over shared memories, and those
sweet times of being together
keep us going when the going
gets rough. And it gets rough
for all of us at different times.
Over the years we have made
it a priority to attend as many
recitals, spelling bees, athletic
events, etc. as a family. That has
meant watching a track meet in
the snow bundled in blankets,
taking homework to complete in
the auditorium before the recital
begins, choosing your sisters
award ceremony over ice cream
out with a friend, and the list
goes on. Celebrate one another
during these family times.
As I now watch my three
children, 22-, 19-, and 17-year-
olds, build a sand castle with
their dad, it strikes me that
this has gone on for 15 years
on this very same beach,
possibly with some of the same
buckets and shovels! From
the anticipation, the design
planning, the digging and
through the fnishing touches,
this is a clear outworking of
the cooperation that has been
nurtured for many years by
each family member. There is
no greater joy than being a part
of a family that values each
individual, listens when someone
is rejoicing or hurting, celebrates
accomplishments, requires you
to be your best, and has fun
together.
We all have the opportunity
to guide our children to this
type of fulflling sibling/family
relationship a relationship
like no other full of shared
history, memories that can bring
on both gales of laughter and gut-
wrenching tears with the deep
desire to see the other fourish.
And, when our children love and
cherish each other, that flls our
hearts like nothing else can.
Kirsten Freitag Murray, Parenting
Development Coordinator
with Compass Mark, Inc., is a
contributor to the LancMoms.com
Ask an Expert feature.
Sibling competition:
Not of the Olympic sort!
Ask an
Expert
Kirsten Freitag Murray
Lancaster, Pa VISITLANCMOMS.COM AUGUST11,20127
Tomato time
~ Caramel Tomatoes ~
Mom
continued from page 3
Makenzie is currently living
in Hawaii with her mother and
the Nesbitts really miss her. I
know how foster families must
feel, she said.
If we ever have a little girl,
when she is six to seven, I will
know exactly what to do! I
really enjoyed that stage.
Nesbitts training allows her
to wear many hats: as a mother,
a wife, a helicopter pilot, and
a dedicated volunteer. She is
thankful for all the training
she has received in order to
accomplish so much in her life.
But this helicopter pilot/
mommy is quick to point out:
No amount of training can
prepare you 100 percent for
parenthood. Just when you think
youve got it down, they throw
you an in-fight emergency!
Nesbitt decided she wanted
to become a pilot as a little
girl. I never liked being
in the back of the plane. I
wanted control. I wanted to
know what was going on.
Nesbitts father was in the
army and she was born in
Texas. She has lived all over
the United States and ended
up in the Poconos.
Nesbitt comes from a
family of fve children. Both
of Nesbitts sisters are in the
army and she has one brother
in the Air force.
Nesbitt met her husband,
Drew at college at East
Stroudsburg. They were both
on the cross country team.
Nesbitts favorite runner is
Deena Kastor, an American
long-distance runner who
won the bronze medal in the
womens marathon at the
2004 Olympics in Athens,
Greece.
Nesbitt is an accomplished
college runner and
still competes for the
Pennsylvania National Guard
running team. She completed
the Army Ten-Miler while
fve months pregnant and
helped the Guard Team to
frst place in their category.
One of Nesbitts favorite
things to do is watch her
husband compete in area
races and triathlons. They are
amazing to watch, she said.
Drew nominated his wife
to be Mom of the Month and
says, She adapts fawlessly
to our ever-changing family
structure. She gives much of
her time to others without
asking anything in return.
8 ripe tomatoes of equal size
1 tablespoon salt
White pepper
1-1/2 cups brown sugar
1/2 cup butter
Skin the tomatoes. Carefully
cut off the tops. Place them in a
buttered baking dish suitable to
serve them in. Sprinkle with salt,
pepper and brown sugar. Dab
each of them with butter. Preheat
oven to 400 and bake for 1/2
hour. Then remove to the top of
the stove, and over a low fame
(heat), reduce the juice until it is
a thick syrup.
Return to a hot oven (400
degrees) for 1/2 hour. Serve hot.
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Its hard to wait for good
tomatoes even though they are
worth the wait. Their just-picked
favor and goodness epitomize the
best of what summer has to offer.
Its no surprise that Italy and
Italians have consumed more
tomatoes in the last two centuries
than any other country think of
all that spaghetti sauce.
But when luscious, vine-ripened
tomatoes appear in Lancaster
County gardens and roadside
stands, area tomato lovers will eat
their share and more of these
wonderful vegetables.
Or are they fruits? This debate is
ongoing, even though the tomato is
botanically defned as a fruit.
But no matter what you call
them, tomatoes are being consumed
by the basketful by people hungry
for them in salads, sandwiches,
main dishes and casseroles and as
side dishes. Homegrown cherry
tomatoes can be eaten like candy!
After months of making do with
anemic, cardboard-like tomatoes,
the real thing is here.
Some people like to stick with the
basics sliced tomatoes, salt and
pepper and mayonnaise on white
bread, of course. But dont limit
yourself. One of the best tomato
sandwiches starts with a peasant-
type bread, maybe a seven-grain
bread, then layers sliced tomatoes,
red onion and avocado. Some salt
and pepper, maybe some sprouts
and lettuce fnishes it perfectly.
You can also:
Buy a pizza crust (or make your
own) and top with lightly sauteed
sliced tomatoes, mushrooms,
onions, and peppers. Sprinkle with
basil and shredded mozzarella.
Bake 10 minutes at 450 degrees.
Or you can brush the crust
with olive oil and top with thinly
sliced tomatoes. Sprinkle with basil,
oregano, Parmesan and mozzarella.
Bake 10 minutes at 450 degrees.
Layer sliced tomatoes and
sliced red onion. Whisk 1/2 cup
olive oil, 1/2 cup red wine vinegar;
1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley
and 3 large garlic cloves, fnely
chopped, together. Season with
salt and pepper. Pour over salad
and let stand for one hour. Sprinkle
with feta cheese (about 1 cup) and
Kalamata olives.
Make Savory Tomato Wedges
by sauteing sliced onion, chopped
green bell pepper and celery in 2
tablespoons margarine or butter;
cook and stir 5 to 6 minutes until
vegetables are crisp-tender. Add
2 tomatoes, cut into wedges, 1
teaspoon sugar, 1/2 teaspoon garlic
salt and a dash of pepper; stir gently.
Cover; cook 3 to 5 minutes. Serve.
Cut thick slices of tomato and
alternate with slices of mozzarella
cheese. Top with slivered fresh basil
leaves and drizzle with olive oil.
Mom details
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8 AUGUST11,2012 VISITLANCMOMS.COM Lancaster, Pa
By Cynthia Hummel
Special Features Writer
As summer nears its end, moms
need to be a little more creative in
fnding ways to entertain their kids.
Diane Stevenson, director of
Sunshine Corners in Strasburg said
children there have fun doing big
things scaled down for kids.
The grown-ups set up a gas
station where kids can pretend to
fx, fll-up and wash their bikes.
Water play includes using squirt
bottles to cool one another down.
In honor of the Olympics, the
kids played shot put, by standing
in a hula hoop and throwing a
softball. They participated in a
long jump and took sponges out of
buckets and threw them to represent
the water events.
Older kids can fnd countless
projects on a kids online catalog for
the county libraries at http://catalog.
lancasterlibraries.org:90/search~S2.
An arts and crafts section provides
hundreds of possibilities. Kids can
spend the rest of their summer
learning new skills, including some
that cost very little.
Rachel DiSalle has a book called,
Junk Drawer Jewelry from 1976.
Kaitlyn Nichols has a 2011 book,
Safety Pin Bracelets. Besides
jewelry-making, kids can learn
to paint, make puppets and create
leather crafts. In all, the childrens
online catalog offers arts and crafts
books in 22 different categories.
Cooking with kids is a way to
entertain them and teach basic
skills at the same time. Plenty
of cookbooks for children are
available, with heavily-illustrated
and easy-to-understand directions
broken down into small steps.
Books by Rachel Ray and
Williams Sonoma have proven to
be especially kid-friendly. Instead
of getting a cookbook, moms can
teach their children favorite family
recipes or at least have them help.
Summer fun does not have to
come from a book. Kids at Camp
Foxtails at Lancaster Friends
Meeting spent a week creating
their own fun. This years theme
was simplicity, leader Beth Reeves
said. The children enjoyed nature
through hiking at Tucquan Glen and
created a homemade water slide.
Kids can make cards for people
in their lives. Dont wait for a
special occasion. Handmade cards
are always welcome. Older kids can
set aside their computers and write
an old-fashioned letter with pen and
paper to someone they know.
For a different experience, try
a Hobo Lunch at the Strasburg
Rail Road. Passengers receive a
knapsack of goodies to unwrap on
the trip and can enjoy lemonade
served in mason jars or baked beans
scooped from a kettle, along with
other freshly-made items. The Hobo
Train runs on the hour from 11 a.m.
to 5 p.m., through Aug. 26, except
for the last ride of the day.
End of summer fun: Get creative
Left: Alex Carty of Manor Township enjoys the simple summer fun of
playing with a balloon.
Above: Carl Bright-Walk of Annville speeds down a home-made slip
and slide.
Below: Victoria Carty of Manor Township creates a hand-made card.
Lancaster, Pa VISITLANCMOMS.COM AUGUST11,20129
By Rochelle A. Shenk
Special Features Writer
Hershey is flled with fun, family-friendly
things to see and do. Hershey Gardens,
which is celebrating its 75th anniversary this
year, is defnitely worth a visit.
Perched atop a hill overlooking the town
of Hershey and Hersheypark, Hershey
Gardens opened as a 3.5-acre rose garden
in 1937. Since then its grown to more than
23 acres and includes 11 theme gardens,
a Butterfy House, and an educational
Childrens Garden.
Theres also a fragrant rose garden
featuring 275 varieties and 5,600 roses, along
with Mrs. Hersheys rose garden containing
Old Garden roses that Mrs. Hershey grew.
As part of its 75th anniversary celebration,
the M.S. Hershey Tribute Garden, which
features the M.S. Hershey rose, is making its
debut this year.
A fun way to discover the gardens is via a
scavenger hunt. Special hunts are created for
pre-readers (ages 3 to 7) and readers (ages
8 to 14) as well as those who enjoy fowers
(the fower power hunt). Harris notes that
although guests are encouraged to print out
the information from the gardens website
(www.hersheygardens.org) and bring it with
them to the gardens, it is also available at the
gardens on request.
The perfect place for family fun is the
childrens garden, which is at its peak mid-
to late-summer. It is fun and whimsical with
a surprise around every turn, and both the
young and young-at-heart can experience the
wonder of nature and plants.
Each of the themed areas features an
educational component thats geared for
hands-on learning and fun. In one area a
Hershey Bar is stamped into the pavement
children are challenged to solve various
math-related questions (a Hershey Bar is
divided into 12 equal squares, which makes
eating fun, but also makes it a great math
tool). In another, children learn to tell time as
they become a human sundial.
A path winds through the childrens garden leading
to the butterfy house, which is open through Sept. 9
and is celebrating its 15th season this year. On hot days,
the perfect way for kids (and adults, too!) to cool off is
a quick run through the Hershey Kiss-shaped mister
just outside the butterfy house. Inside the wonderful
world of more than 300 butterfies, 25 different species
of North American butterfies awaits. Theres also
an exhibit on the lifecycle of butterfies. Plants in the
butterfy house include both nectar plants that they use
for food and host plants for egg-laying and caterpillar
feeding. As you wander through the butterfy house,
one of these delightful creatures may even light on you.
A special exhibit, Watering Can Wonders, made
its debut this summer and will run through Sept. 30.
It features 500 hand-painted watering cans painted by
students at Milton Hershey School as a tribute to the
gardens 75th anniversary.
Theres plenty to see and do at Hershey Gardens, so
enjoy this part of Milton Hersheys legacy.
The Gardens are open daily 9 a.m. to 7 p.m., and the
butterfy house is open daily 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. For further
information and admission pricing, please visit www.
hersheygardens.org or call 534-3492.
Family fun at
Hershey Gardens
For many frst-t|me moms, breastfeed|ng takes pract|ce,
pat|ence and, qu|te often, the he|p of a |actat|on spec|a||st.
That`s why the Women`s P|ace at Heart of |ancaster offers
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HeartofLancaster.com
Proudly affiliated with OBGYN of Lancaster.
10 AUGUST11,2012 VISITLANCMOMS.COM Lancaster, Pa
Share of Lancaster, a non-proft
organization that offers pregnancy
and infant loss support, will hold
its 10th annual Walk to Remember
Sunday, Sept. 30 at 2 p.m. The
event takes place at The Greenfeld
Corporate Center.
The annual event, which began
in 2003, provides an opportunity
for families who have experienced
pregnancy or infant loss to come
together for a time of remembrance.
Many people who endure
the loss of a baby, whether
through miscarriage, pregnancy
complications, stillbirth, or SIDS,
feel extremely isolated by the
experience, said Abby Messick,
executive director of Share of
Lancaster. The walk provides an
opportunity for these individuals to
come together as a community in
support of one another; to help them
realize theyre not alone. It offers a
time to remember and refect upon
the lives that were lost.
Activities for the event include a
walk around the ponds at Greenfeld
Corporate Center, a reading of
baby names, a releasing of doves,
a candle lighting, music, various
childrens activities and more.
Participants registered by Aug.
24, will receive a personalized
memorial bracelet with the name
of the baby they wish to remember.
Baby names and personalized
memorial messages are also
included in the program brochure.
Registration is available online
at shareofancaster.org (click on
the Walk to Remember link). The
event is open to the public. The
registration fee is $30 per family
and includes two personalized
bracelets and a memorial message
printed in the program brochure.
Sponsorship opportunities are
available by contacting Share of
Lancaster at 717-917-1112.
Share of Lancaster:
10th annual Walk to Remember
Pregnancy & Infant Loss
Support Group holds
walk September 30
Share of Lancaster is a non-
proft organization that exists to
bring comfort and understanding
to families who have suffered the
loss of a baby through miscarriage,
pregnancy complications,
prematurity, stillbirth, SIDS and any
other cause.
We stand by parents in their
journey of grief, offering a helping
hand, a listening ear and open arms.
Services We Provide:
Educational programs for health
professionals and the community.
Three Support Groups: Early
Pregnancy Loss, Pregnancy After
Loss, and Late Loss/Early
Infant Loss. A schedule is
available online at shareofancaster.
org or by calling 717-823-2789.
The Share Burial: A common
burial of infants who have died due
to loss of pregnancy, stillbirth, or
early infant death.
Burials are held the second
Tuesday in January, March, May,
July, September and November
at St. Josephs New Catholic
Cemetery.
A graveside service begins at
2:30 p.m. and is lead by a variety of
local clergy who donate their time.
Share burials are provided free of
charge, out of care and compassion,
by Share of Lancaster, Charles
F. Snyder Funeral Home, and St.
Josephs New Catholic Cemetery.
All of our services are provided
free of charge.
For more information visit
shareofancaster.org or contact us at
717-823-2789.
About Share of Lancaster
Lancaster, Pa VISITLANCMOMS.COM AUGUST11,201211
ACROSS
1. (K) Start a card
game
5. (K) Climbers
goal, to reach
the ___
8. (K) Show poor
sportsmanship
12. Unpolished
person
13. Be faulty?
14. (K) Volcanos
output
15. Sphere of work
16. Old name
preceder
17. (K) Thing on a
to-do list
18. Old soda-
machine
feature
(2 words)
21. (K) Like
summer days
22. (K) Noahs craft
23. Valued
possession
26. (K) Who ___
you kidding?
27. (K) Traffic
component
30. Char the
surface
31. (K) Catch you
later!
32. (K) Pet store
purchase,
perhaps
33. (K) Horse food
34. (K) Busy bug
35. Council of
Trent, e.g.
36. (K) Mates of
mas
37. (K) Act like a
thirsty cat
38. Firemans
badge shape
(2 words)
44. Caesars robe
45. (K) Shade tree
46. (K) More than
bad
47. (K) Sound from
a certain noc-
turnal bird
48. (K) Pigeon
sound
49. (K) Enticing
store sign
50. (K) Beat by a
whisker
51. (K) Barnyard
biddy
52. (K) Opposite
of fast
DOWN
1. (K) Dull-colored
2. Money overseas
3. Support the
scofflaw
4. (K) Jacket
material
5. Religious
doctrine
6. (K) Black-and-
white cookie
7. (K) Make ready
8. Lose a staring
contest
9. (K) Use a scale
from one to ten
10. State absolutely
11. (K) Group of
whales
19. Real estate buy
20. (K) ___ he
rode out of
sight
23. (K) Proof of a
fire
24. Sailors milieu
25. (K) Put into
words
26. (K) Pirates
yes
27. (K) Soup
container
28. ... ___ our
fathers brought
forth on this
continent ...
29. (K) Valentines
Day color
31. Appeal to
32. Cone-bearing
tree
34. (K) Sluggers
tool
35. Animal pouch
36. (K) Piece of
dinnerware
37. (K) Citrus fruit
38. Kind of ring or
swing
39. Wide-eyed
40. Blackthorn
berry
41. (K) Shaped like
a racetrack
42. Airtight tower
43. Whole bunch
44. (K) ___ end (last
words in some
storybooks)
Created by Timothy E. Parker January 16, 2012
The (K) Clues are for Kids
2012 Universal Uclick
www.universaluclick.com
Can you find the answer to this
riddle within the solved puzzle?
Pitchers reward?
4 9 - A ) S a l e
R i d d l e a n s w e r :
PUZZLE ANSWERS
DR. PIA FENIMORE
Pediatrician with
Lancaster Pediatrics.
Pediatric Health
KIRSTEN FREITAG-MURRAY
Parenting Development
Coordinator with
Compass Mark, Inc.
Social, relational and/or
behavioral issues
DR. MARIA MELITON
Pediatric Dentist with
M2 Dentistry for
Children & Teens, LLC.
Pediatric Dental Health
MEGAN CONKLIN
Certied Orthopedic
Manual Therapist with
Hartz Physical Therapy.
Fitness, injury prevention
and rehabilitation
TERRY EVEARITT
Certied College
Planner with
College Funding
Advisors, Inc.
College nancial planning,
nancial aid, and other
college nancing
JOHN HOLTZAPPLE
Safe Kids Certied Car
Seat Technician with
Stadel Volvo.
Proper car seat selection,
installation and
harness placement
Dr. Maria Meliton,
QUESTION:
My 5-yr-old daughter is grinding her
teeth at night. She has complained
about her mouth hurting in the
morning, and it wasnt until I heard
her grinding that I realized what it
was. Should she go to our dentist or
an orthodontist?
Megan Conklin,
QUESTION:
My husband woke up one morning
with signicant tightness in his neck.
Is there a particular way he should
sleep or is there a special pillow he
can use to avoid and relieve any
further pain? Are there any exercises
or stretches you recommend if it
were to happen again?
Submit your questions today at
LancMoms.com! Just click on our
Ask an Expert feature and choose
your expert. Its simple and easy.
Our experts will respond to several
questions a week so check back
daily to see your answer.
Ask an Expert on LancMoms.com
DR. PIA FENIMORE,
Pediatrician with Lancaster Pediatrics
Pediatric health
KIRSTEN FREITAG MURRAY,
Parenting Development Coordinator
with Compass Mark, Inc.
Social, relational and/or behavioral issues
DR. MARIA MELITON,
Pediatric Dentist with M2 Dentistry
for Children & Teens, LLC
Pediatric dental health
MEGAN CONKLIN,
Certied Orthopedic Manual Therapist
with HARTZ Physical Therapy
Fitness, injury prevention and
rehabilitation
TERRY EVEARITT,
Certied College Planner with College
Funding Advisors, Inc.
College nancial planning, nancial aid,
and other college nancing
Weve got answers!
Questions?
Sponsored by:
Dr. Pia Fenimore
Kirsten Freitag Murray
Dr. Maria Meliton
Megan Conklin
Terry Evearitt
P r o d u c e d b y L a n c a s t e r N e w s p a p e r s , I n c .
12 AUGUST11,2012 VISITLANCMOMS.COM Lancaster, Pa
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Excludes Sorelle 1050 & 1090 cribs. One coupon per household.
Not valid with other offers or prior purchases. Offer expires 8/20/12.
BONUS COUPON
FREE SET-UP
($35 value)
with any Regular Delivery
Wolf Plaza Lancaster 717-299-3485
One coupon per household.
Not valid with other offers or prior purchases. Offer expires 8/20/12.
FURNITURE SALES
BONUS COUPON
Pay Cash or Check
and get an
ADDITIONAL 2% OFF
FURNITURE SALES
NEW LOW PRICE GUARANTEE!!
not only match that price,
BEAT IT BY
5
%
Must have a current printed ad or equivalent with price.
Cannot be closeout, oor model, or G.O.B.
Beat the Price Increase! Beat the Price Increase!
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See Store for Details.
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