Complaining

I. Definition: In daily life, we have to face to many unbearable problems from bad weather, traffic jam to jobs, money problem. What is the first simple thing we will do? It is complaining. Almost every day, we hear people complain about something or someone. Generally, complain is expressing pain or dissatisfaction of resentment, giving utterance to expression of grief, censure, regret; to lament, to murmur, or to find default. (From: www.wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn). In another word, a complaint means a statement that is made concerning something which is unsatisfactory or not to your liking, you say that you not happy about the quality of something, you show your disappointment verbally. II. Classification: In our opinion, basing on the purpose of complaints, we have two types: Firstly, it is general complaint. You complain for just complaint. You speak up your voices about the problem but you just want to reveal your feeling, not want to blame on any specific person or thing. You use this kind of complaining to tell your problem for someone to know such as your friends, your acquaintances or even yourself. For examples: The weather is too bad I cannot go out. Oh, its too cold. I really do not like Winter Oh, I really hate my nose, its far too long. My phone has just been broken. It is awful. My boss makes me work too hard. I need a holiday. It really is a shame that I It is too bad that I am disappointed with myself because If only I wish I could Secondly, it is purposive complaint. After you make this kind of complaint, you want to have improvement situation and resolved problems. For example, a student complains about a rotten fish dish in the cafeteria with the cook. In this case, that student wants the cook check to ensure the freshness of the fish dish and perhaps replace that dish with fresher fish. In this kind of complaining, you reveal your feeling for others to get your aims. You should be very careful and flexible because you can certainly rude when you complain. Starting with polite phrases will make you get your purpose easier: Excuse me, I think I am sorry to say this, but Would you mind I afraid I have a complaint about I hate to say this, but I am sorry to bother you, but There might have something wrong, could you please I'm afraid we're having some trouble with.... Maybe you forgot to... I think you might have forgotten to... Excuse me if I'm out of line, but...

 There may have been a misunderstanding about... Don't get me wrong, but I think we should... In complaint, your attitude is the important thing, it can affect on others and your feeling. When you meet terrible things, you seem to see those is the darkest things. You use a lot of negative adjectives and negative words to describe and complain about those things. We can see in the following sentences: Damn, the weather is awful. The whole thing bores me to death. What is the hell I should know? Today is my day-mare. It makes me sick the way they It makes you more bored and rude to everything. You should know that complaining is also the way you can remove your stress from your shoulders. Why you want to make yourself more disappointed? Try staying in a positive attitude. Instead of saying The weather is awful, try saying I hope the weather improves. You will quickly find that talking this way makes it less depressing. In addition, we must try not to swear, lose your temper. Two ways to make a complaint: in a nice way and in a rude way. In a nice way In a rude way Excuse me! This food does not taste right. Could I Do you call this food? It tastes disgusting. Get me What! have another meal sent me instead? the Manager...Now! I have found a fault with this shirt. Could I please replace it with another one? Look at this shirt. Its rubbish. How can you sell this junk?

I am not happy with the cable TV service you areThis cable TV of yours is awful. I hate it. Come and take providing. I would like to have it disconnected please. it away. When you make complaints a rude way, it means that you create a fuss, kick up a storm, make a scene, cause a commotion, protest out loud, blow the whole thing out of proportion. It is always best to complain in calm and polite ways as being rude will only make the situation much worse and you could find yourself with much larger and more serious problem to deal with. III. Ways to response complaints: After making a complaint you normally receive an instant response Handling complaints requires as much tact as- may be even more than making them. We have different ways to response for each kind of complaints. For general complaint, you only listen, cheer them up or support complainers by complaining a little bit about the things they are talking to you. That is life. Well, you cannot win them all. Take it easy. I am sorry to hear that. Try to look at bright side. Come on! It cannot be as bad as that. Yeah, it is too Why they can do that with you? We have six steps to response for purposive complaint (from http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_49891147010082ke.html)

Show understanding I am very sorry about that... I cannot tell you how sorry I am. Mmmm, I see what you mean. I do apologize for the mistake. I understand your frustration Get the facts Could you give me some details please? What happened exactly? What is the problem exactly? Promise action I will look into it right away. I promise to check the details and get back to you. I will dispatch the item today. I will get someone to check it for you. I will bring you another one right away. Offer to do something... Would you like me to send it by express mail? Shall I send it today? Make excuses... It's not our policy to replace items It's not our fault that it hasnt arrived I am afraid that is not quite right. Give bad news I am afraid we cannot send them immediately. I am very sorry, but we do not have anyone available to help you until next week. According to the situation in examples in II, we have the corresponding responses I am sorry about that. Please allow me to bring another meal for you. Oh, I am terribly sorry; I will fetch you a new shirt from our stock room right now. I am sorry to hear that you are not happy with our cable TV service. May be we will offer you some different channels instead.
IV.

Analyzing examples.

When complaining in English, it helps to be polite Eg: a, In a shop: You are in a shop and the assistant gives you the wrong change - Excuse me, I think youve given me the wrong change or Sorry, I think this change is wrong. I gave you $20, not $10. - "I'm sorry I'll get someone to check it for you." b, In a hotel : - "Excuse me, but there's a problem with the heating in my room."

"Sorry to bother you, but I think there's something wrong with the air-conditioning." "I'm afraid I have to make a complaint. Some money has gone missing from my hotel room." "I'm afraid there's a slight problem with my room the bed hasn't been made." - "Excuse me, but there's a problem with the heating." or "Sorry to hear that I'll send someone up." Speaking tip : Although you may find it strange to use the word sorry when you complain, English speakers consider it polite. It will help you get what you want. V. Complaining in workplace

Complaining is good for you and for the workplace. A workplace where people are so afraid of conflict and uncomfortable conversation that very little change is possible. However, you must complain constructively following the tips. This means complaining at the right time, to the right person about the right problem. As opposed to just moaning all the time to whoever will listen about whatever bugs you the most. So pick one problem thats been bugging you at work and decide:

Who to raise it with When to raise it How to raise it

Then do it. No point in just letting that problem annoy you day after day speak up and get it fixed. Complaining can be a great tool for initiating change and if we outlaw complaining in the workplace, as some managers try to do, all we do is drive it underground where it becomes even more toxic. So we should accept that complaining plays an important role in business, but the key thing here is to know the difference between constructive and unconstructive complaining. Here are some of the differences: Unconstructive: Complain about what bugs you the most Constructive: Complain about the right thing Is the problem really the problem? Or is there a deeper issue going on? Complain about the problem, not just the symptoms. Unconstructive: Complain when you feel the most annoyed Constructive: Complain at the right time There are times to complain and times not to. Choose a moment where theres time, will

and energy to deal constructively with the issue. Five minutes before an important meeting starts is probably not the time. Unconstructive: Complain to whoever will listen Constructive: Complain to someone who can do something about it If your boss is the problem, complaining to your co-workers can be a lot of fun, but it changes nothing. Complain to your boss or to the bosss boss. Unconstructive: Point fingers. Constructive: Look at yourself first. Maybe its just you who has a problem and everyone else is fine with the situation? Try to recognize those situations where everything is actually fine youre just being irrationally annoyed (happens to me all the time). Also: To what extent are you a part of the problem? How are you contributing to either the problem or to the solution? Before complaining about others, make sure you know what your role in the issue is. Unconstructive: Seek blame Constructive: Seek solutions Going in with the intention of making people admit theyre at fault is rarely productive. Does it really matter whose fault it is? Forget blame and focus on moving on and finding lasting solutions. Unconstructive: Only complain Constructive: Also appreciate whats good Complain when theres a reason to, but remember to appreciate the good stuff also dont just always complain. Basically, constructive complaining leads to change whereas the unconstructive variety traps a workplace in the status quo by zapping everyones energy, optimism and belief that change is possible.
And that may be part of the attraction of unconstructive complaining: It reinforces a bad situation, but its a bad situation you know and have learned to deal with. At the same time it reinforces the status quo and protects you from change that might bring new problems you dont yet know how to handle. Theres an amount of safety and comfort in it. VI. Other things about complaint

Have other people complained that you're always complaining? Do you suspect that perhaps complaining has become a habit for you rather than a reasonable response to what's wrong in life? The British are very bad at complaining. It's in the national character to look on the bright side. When you ask them how they are, you'll often get the response, "Mustn't grumble!" And they don't grumble. The trouble is, not grumbling can lead to someone taking

advantage. Shoddy products, poor service, unpleasant behavior, official incompetency, etc all persist because people don't complain enough. On the other hand, if you take up arms against everything that's wrong with the world (and there's plenty wrong with the world, let's face it), you can find yourself doing nothing but complain. Pointing out what's wrong and demanding that it be put right is a perfectly appropriate response in certain contexts. But if you do it all the time there are some unfortunate consequences. The consequences of excessive complaining You've probably noticed these already. It can make you feel pretty down, for example. There is just so much that's wrong, everywhere, and no matter how much you complain, it just isn't possible to get it all put right. It becomes harder to appreciate all the good things that are also out there. And too much complaining can make people shun you. Never mind that you're right, you're just not fun to be with.